Fallout Equestria: Sola Gratia
Chapter 2: Grace is Gone
“Karma’s a real bitch; you’d be wise to remember that.”

The blood met my hooves as it spread. I was standing so close, but I couldn’t run or even look away. I was consumed in it all. But as the music came to an end, I started to feel what I was seeing, see what I was feeling. I let out a loud gasping cry as the tears came and I collapsed into the gore, choking.

I could smell her, I could even taste her blood as it splashed across my face and into my gasping mouth during my panic, but none of it registered. Although the music had stopped my mind was far from clear, I couldn’t think or re-act, I just lay there. I had seen my mother die, that had been depressing, the emotion it had evoked was sadness, but it had been expected, it had been slow. This was an entirely new experience, and it shocked me. Sudden, violent death was something I hadn’t been forced to handle before. I was angry and horrified, but above all I was confused, torn apart by my own conflicting emotions.

In my shock I barely noticed the ponies that entered the room then. As they dragged me out by my front legs I just stared back at the spreading pool of blood. I didn’t react to anything that was happening to me, until I found myself in a cell. The blood was already dry on my coat but I could still smell it, I tried to ignore it and worked on figuring out what I had just seen. I hadn’t expected it, but I knew who was behind it.

The Commissary had killed her; they had been willing to cross the furthest threshold of morality and sin to get their way. They had murdered an innocent because they had lost. They had blown Shady Sand’s head apart because of the decision I had made. I felt little guilt; it was occluded by a hot, throbbing anger. I found I had regained control of my faculties, or rather my anger had, and now I slammed my hooves against the bars, again and again, screaming for Saber. No one came, I was alone in the cold darkness with my rage, but the silence didn’t stop me from pounding against the steel and yelling as loudly as my strained lungs would allow.

I was glad that the shock had delayed this reaction until know, if I had exploded like this in the Overmare’s office then I would have probably resisted the Security ponies that had dragged me here. They would have seen a mare with blood covering the front of her coat standing over a corpse, a mare with burning fury in her eyes and very little restraint. They had had guns, though at the mercy of my stunned silence; hadn’t needed to use them. I stopped my assault on the bars of the cell and gave my rasping voice a rest, I had to think, I had to make a plan, I had to find Saber, confront him.

Would he leave me here? It was late and as the sermon had ended I imagined most ponies in the Stable were now in their rooms, oblivious to their dead leader. There was no reason he had to come give me the satisfaction of confirmation; he could leave me to fester in this cell like a fresh wound unattended. I didn’t need the confirmation though, he had done it, maybe he hadn’t fired the gun or even seen her die but he must have given the order. There were no free radicals in the Commissary, whatever they did, they did as a unit. I wouldn’t have been surprised if they had voted to decide whether they would kill her with a bullet or a knife. The bastards hadn’t been able to open their minds, so they had opened her’s instead. They were so sure that the Stable would die as a result of her plan that they had seen no other alternative but to kill her. The security ponies had probably seen to her corpse, someone would be examining it, they would suspect me. It may have been my fault somehow, but I wasn’t the killer that belonged in this cell.

I burned myself out emotionally and physically in the hours that followed, I screamed for a time but it was pointless, I beat against the bars but they would crack my hooves before I could even put a dent in them. Even so I tried until I was hoarse, my legs and muscles aching in dull abandon. I went from tears to rage over and over as if sadness and anger couldn’t share me, constantly fighting over which one of them had control. I didn’t sleep, I never would have been able to fall asleep, but the blood, the pain and the exertion of it all were going to make me pass out. In my weakened state I had to spend half my time lying in the fetal position, resting so I could spend the other half feverishly pacing the room. I didn’t rest in between my nightmares, wherein I watched the corpse bleed and heard the eternal musical mockery that ordained it, and my conscious time, when I beat my body sore against cold steel and concrete. Eventually I couldn’t even tell if I was conscious or not, if I had slept it was for minutes at a time, not hours.

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I didn’t track the time through the restless nightmare of a night, but eventually the security ponies returned, which I assumed to signify morning. I didn’t know their names, I had seen them before but I couldn’t remember them beyond their faces. Just like the mare who had come to call me to the Overmare’s office yesterday. She must have known, she wasn’t sent by the Overmare, she was sent to implicate me in the murder. I was being framed, it was easy to ignore through the emotions I felt for Shady Sands, but I would eventually have to deal with myself, and I was not in a capital situation.

“Security!” I whispered urgently to the guards who had joined me in the detention room. “Hey, you two! listen to me!” They didn’t acknowledge me.
“Please, I didn’t do this, just listen to me for a minute and I can explain!”
They stayed locked in place and didn’t even spare a glance at each other. Why would they listen to me?
“My name is Grace… and I didn’t have anything to do with the Overmare’s death.” That wasn’t entirely true but I wasn’t going to implicate myself any further just to absolve my guilt.
“If you give me a chance I can help you find out who really did it.”

“I know who did it.” The padded buck on the left side of the room said, ever emotionless.

“I can see why you think that, but it wasn’t me! Please!” I was practically begging the stoic pair.

“I know.”

“What? Then why are you keeping me here? We can tell them the truth, we can avenge Shady!”
No response from either of them.
They were a part of this, I realized, they knew full well that I wasn’t guilty, yet they followed their orders to keep me where I didn’t deserve to be. The whole system was in on this. I was stuck.
“Get me Saber! The least you could do is get me somepony who’ll talk to me!”

“You’re trial will happen this afternoon, then you can see Saber and talk.” The dark mare said in a monotone. I couldn’t tell what these two were feeling; I had no idea if I could convince them to help me. They could be completely compassionless for all I knew, or the silent act could be their way of suppressing the guilt they were feeling.

“If you’re decent ponies and you know what’s going on… then you must see that what you’re allowing here is wrong. Please, you need to help me; Shady Sands deserves to be avenged.”

“It’s for the good of the Stable. This will be a lot easier for you if you accept that.” The mare concluded.

They were indoctrinated; they shared the exact same opinion as Saber and the other heads of the Commissary. They were a unit, a hive-mind, Administration, Security it didn’t matter. All of them were in on it; all of them thought this was what they had to do. I was in deep trouble.

I gave up on negotiating with my guards and pushed the emotional clutter to the back of my mind. I needed to think, I had to convince everypony in the trial that this was all a lie. From what little I knew about the procedures I could count on it being a public event, in my chances to speak all I would have to do is instill doubt in the Stable, doubt in the system of governance that had never been considered dubious before. I would have to convince dozens of content ponies, whose civilization was nearing a utopian status, that the leadership responsible for that state was lying to them. That the Commissary were corrupt murderers… Deep trouble.

I didn’t get to see anypony in the following hours; I was left alone with only the silent guards and my own desperate thoughts to keep my company. I planned out exactly what I was going to say, I would point to everypony I knew was involved and try to implicate them. Saber, the mare who had summoned me, these guards, I would make them all answer for what they were involved in. However I couldn’t get over the strong suspicion that this trial was going to go any other way but fairly. I knew what had happened; I even knew why it had happened. But in a conflict between my word and Saber’s I couldn’t help but think that the Stable would act as faithfully as it ever had to its system of governance. Even the Faith, though they didn’t follow the same belief system, trusted the Commissary to rule them, almost unquestionably.
I was scared, I wished I had somepony to talk to, someone who I knew would believe me and who wasn’t a part of all this conspiracy bull. But I was alone.

The day was torturous, I could do nothing but wait and worry, nothing changed in the detention block for hours at a time. The guards stood completely still, only leaving one at a time to take a break or, just once, to get me something to eat. Apparently they didn’t bother dressing up the food for prisoners; it was paste, plain and simple. As I forced it down I was very grateful that Cinnamon Chips had been so good at his job. I had to wonder if he would even believe me, he had no real reason to, though sadly he was one of my best chances.

I had never been in the cells, or even into the security section of the Stable, so I could pass some of the time examining the room. To my conscious memory, it was the first time I was in a place that I was seeing for the first time. I needed this; I needed something to distract me. I couldn’t let myself think about how dire my situation was, my emotions, or the corpse.

The only notable event of the entire morning and afternoon was the announcement over the Stable PA system. Fairly early in the morning, a few hours after I had tried to talk to the guards, there was a call for Stable-wide assembly in the main Atrium. They were no doubt announcing the death of the Overmare, Saber’s temporary posting as Overstallion and the procedure for electing a permanent replacement. They would also determine a time for Shady Sand’s memorial and announce my trial for this afternoon. Everypony now thought I was a murderer; I would have one chance to convince them otherwise.

To stop myself from going insane I tried to lose track of time, the anticipation and fear for the trial would have made monitoring its slow passage beyond aggravating and subsequently detrimental to my already fragile mental state. Therefore I had no idea of knowing when the process of the trial would start… then it did. Almost simultaneously the guards drew their weapons, the buck with his horn and the mare with her mouth, they moved by strict procedure and the buck approached the cell door.

“It’s time for the trial; I hope you aren’t thinking of trying anything.” He said as he slipped out a key.

“I won’t give you any trouble.” I promised, honestly and pathetically.
He nodded and unlocked the door. For a moment I thought he trusted me enough to follow them obediently but then he strapped a shackle around my neck that he then attached to the mare’s barding. We walked in silence towards the noise of the gathering in the main Atrium; I had to wonder if the detention room was sound-proof, explaining why no pony on this level had heard my screams. The fear built inside me and reached a crescendo as I was lead onto the raised stage, to be beheld by the audience. They didn’t look happy, not even close; they were united, standardized by their fury. It was clear from the expressions on most of their faces that they were buying into this. I singled out Clearheart who thankfully met my gaze with a sad look; I couldn’t tell if it was pitying or remorseful. Some screamed murderer while others yelled profane slurs, a few simply glared at me in the hot silence of hatred. To them I was nothing, I wasn’t worth saving, I wasn’t even worth listening to, I was a killer.

Sharing the stage with me were the two guards, a few Commissary jurors and Saber.
On a unique bench running perpendicular to the stalls sat the mare who had called me last night, the Confessor and the head of security: Chief Grayback, a steel colored earth pony with a jet-black mane and tail, I knew him to be gentle in his enforcement of the law, but thorough. I expected Saber had something planned for each of the three, ready to unfold during the ‘trial’. He motioned for the seething crowd to settle down so that he could begin. I didn’t know what to expect but I knew I would make the most of any opportunities I got. And if I wasn’t given any… I would forfeit my air of civility to take one. For now I had to act innocent, be innocent; I figured waiting calmly and following procedure would help. Saber’s horn lit up and he began to talk in a frail but projected voice. A voice that was suspiciously ragged and aged when compared to the one I had heard in the meeting yesterday morning.

“Good Afternoon, ponies of the Stable. I understand your anger but I have kept my own in check, and in honor of fair proceedings I ask that you do the same.” The crowd calmed, they knew they would get what they wanted in time, they knew I was going to be damned.

“Thank You. I know we are assembled here on a day of great sadness, but we have an obligation: to justice, to the system, and to the memory of Shady Sands, our Overmare. I was to be ascended soon but as I decreed this morning it is my obligation to stand in Ms. Sands place until a new head of office is elected. We all have obligations.” When did that happen? No way was I going to let the bastard get ascended after he organized an assassination… he deserved the destiny that he was sentencing me to.

“It has been a while since we held a trial, over a decade I believe, and though we have a…similar pony on the doorstep of judgment I feel I need to briefly describe the proceedings.” That was low.
“After I am done opening the case and explaining the nature of the crime we will call our head of Security to explain the proof, display the hard evidence. After him we will have a civilian witnesses to solidify the ‘suspect’s’ culpability.” By this he must have meant the mare on the bench.
“Before final judgment we will allow the ‘suspect’ a period of time to speak from where she is chained, this is usually used for confessions or apologies but, may also be used to refute evidence and in defense. It is optional and the choice not to speak will be taken as a confession.” He turned to address me directly. “Choose your words wisely, as they will be the last you speak to the ponies of this Stable.” He was making presumptions, drawing unfair associations between me and my heritage, and you could hear him discredit the very term ‘suspect’ by his tone. The audience seemed to agree and accept everything he was saying however. Clearheart still met my eyes when I looked at her but I could already see this was going to be incredibly difficult. I didn’t feel the urge to intrude and continued waiting.

“Grace Marie subscribes to no belief system, few of you know her and none call her a colleague. She is held accountable today for the murder of our Overmare, Shady Sands. The murder was performed last night in the Overmare’s office after the victim had sent a messenger,” he waved his hoof towards the green mare on the bench, the one he himself had most likely sent to get me to the scene of the crime.
“Misses Sorbet, whose testimony we will hear shortly, to summon Grace. The murder weapon was a 45. Automatic pistol which is not registered under Security’s ordinance and was previously undocumented. Apart from a similar pistol being the weapon of focus in a previous murder case. In the previous murder case.” Wait, what the heck? What were they trying to say? That I used my father’s gun… a weapon he had somehow passed on to me from beyond the Stable door? This was horsespit!

“Just something to consider, admittedly passable as a coincidence. Though only one 45. Auto pistol has been recorded In the Stable’s last few decades of history.” He was almost blatantly suggesting that I was guilty by association with my father. He was bold but his desperation to convince the ponies of the Stable indicated that their case must be fairly weak otherwise. I didn’t do anything stupid...yet.

“The bullet,” he continued “passed directly through Shady Sand’s head, killing her instantly. At least we can be thankful for our departed’s quick, essentially painless death.” To this a few of the ponies in the crowd bowed their head along with Saber. He then made a motion to the head of security to join him.

“I ask that Chief Grayback present the evidence we have amassed. Please pay attention as the evidence is decidedly irrefutable, and any confirmation you may need lies in their presentation.” His horn stopped glowing as he stepped back. I was angry at the old buck, I thought I had respected him but now I saw him for the stubborn murderer he was at heart. I pulled against my bonds and was yanked backed by the mare I was still chained to. I wanted to get to him. I admit, I wanted to hurt him. He had killed my friend, he was responsible for the death of an innocent, of a mare who was only trying to do what she thought was best for the Stable, just because he disagreed with her. If I got out of this I would see that he paid for his sins. The large Chief stepped up to the pedestal and began to speak. His voice was more powerful than Saber’s but much softer due to his lack of unicorn magic. It was clear from their reaction that some of the crowd couldn’t hear him. Saber stood next to the larger buck and his horn lit up again to help Grayback project his voice. A unicorn had had to do the same for the Overmare when she herself had spoken in the large Atrium. I settled down and focused to see what evidence they had against me.

“I’m sorry to be speaking to you under these circumstances but as Chief of Security I must present to you some descriptive details of the crime scene. I urge you to listen but understand the reluctance.” Both Saber and Grayback got through to the crowd with their words; both bucks respected for their authority and accepted. What they said was truth, unquestionably. They hated me, to empathize with them.

“The Overmare’s body was found sprawled behind her desk; the bullet was shot directly into her forehead and exited through the back of her skull. The wall behind her was spattered with blood and…cranial material indicating the shot was definitely fired from where we suspected: Directly in front of the Overmare’s desk. The casing was found close to this location and the gun itself lay on the ground nearby.” As he mentioned the casing and gun he gestured to a unicorn security pony who was holding up both items for the crowd to inspect. The fact that the gun existed was enough for them to seem satisfied.
I hadn’t seen a gun; then again, I hadn’t been paying much attention. They could’ve planted it at any time.

“Our biggest piece of evidence will seem like our most obvious as is often the case. We found the suspect in the Overmare’s Office with the body soon after the shot was heard. She was covered in blood. You can see evidence of this for yourselves, and I can assure you that that is Shady Sand’s blood on the suspect.”
I couldn’t bring myself to lick the stains off in the cells when I had had time to cleanse them, and the guards hadn’t paid any attention to my requests for water. I had forgotten about it until now and realized why the ponies in the crowd had immediately accepted my guilt. I was covered in evidence. I wanted to interject; I wanted to argue that they had come to the office after they heard my cries not after they heard a shot but I felt the urge ebb away to rationality. I needed to follow procedure, I needed to behave.

“Given the time frame confirmed by Ms. Sorbet we can determine that the Overmare was seen alive just before the suspect was sent to her office, moments later we found her dead in the office with the suspect, who was covered in her blood alongside a discarded 45 Automatic Pistol and a discharged bullet casing. No one else entered the administrative section during this timeframe and I can account for all my security ponies. Saber can also account for every other pony in the section if need be. We conclude that the suspect had motivated plans to kill the Overmare beforehand and used the opportunity given to her. Based on this evidence we find that the suspect is very clearly guilty. Though Mrs. Sorbet will now give her testimony to confirm that the suspect was, in fact, the only one who saw the Overmare between her being confirmed alive and confirmed dead, concluding this case.” The strong gray stallion stepped back off the stage and the mare, Sorbet, took his place. Saber was going to question her, so even though she was a unicorn, he would have to use his magic on himself. As Grayback stepped down Saber’s horn stopped glowing briefly and my mood immediately changed. I knew I was angry but for most of the trial I had felt it repressed at the back of my mind, it hadn’t become any more physical than a constant, dull pulse. As the unicorn’s magic faltered the urge to act flared up again, I felt myself moving, struggling, I pulled against my chains again. They were speaking exclusively in lies and fabrications! I had to stop this, I couldn’t wait, I had to tell people the truth.

I was about to yell out when Saber began to speak, his magic activating as I felt the desire rapidly die. He was doing something to me, he was pacifying my actions with his magic, and now that I realized it I broke the calm acceptance that had been previously induced on me. My mind fought against the effects of the spell but it had complete control over my body, I couldn’t motivate myself to do anything, I couldn’t yell and I couldn’t move, I was trapped. He was using the ruse of projecting his voice so no suspicion would be drawn, if he had kept his horn aglow continuously someone may have become suspicious at my silence, but he was smart and he had come up with the perfect ploy to fool the onlookers. This trial was forfeit, my will to redeem my name burned in my mind, torturous, as I couldn’t act on it.

“Thank you for testifying Ms. Sorbet, with your confirmation I believe it will be made very clear that this case is one-sided, maybe even unnecessary.” Saber said in his unnaturally loud voice.

“I would do anything to see my Overmare’s killer brought to justice.” She looked right at me, subtlety was gone, everyone believed I was guilty and the Commissary had no reason to give me a civil trial.
“Ask and I will answer, I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.” She lifted in hoof in a promise to justice that she had already broken. Saber nodded.

“What did the Overmare task you with the last time that you saw her?” He asked.

“I was given instructions to talk with one Grace Marie in her room and relay the Overmare’s desire for a meeting, I was unsure of the Overmare’s intent but I obeyed.” She spoke in a practiced tone.

“Why didn’t you escort the suspect on her way to the Overmare’s office?” He was asking the questions he knew the more critical thinkers in the crowd would be asking themselves, to dissuade doubt, and truth.

“This task was to be my last for the night and I planned to return to my quarters after the message was received and accepted. I admit I was a little aggravated that I was being given such a menial task and didn’t think to put any extra effort into it. I’m sorry I…I failed to protect the Overmare.” Even her emotions seemed practice. I saw this while looking at her as somepony who knew the deceit behind her demeanor however the unsuspecting crowd was buying into her false guilt.

“Don’t blame yourself dear; remember with your help we can bring justice to the one truly responsible.”
I yelled and protested in my mind but none of it transferred into reality. I felt as if I was screaming, but nothing came out, a nightmare. I processed the words to refute his claims but said nothing. I couldn’t.

“You’re right…I’m…What else do you need to know?” The audience was sold on her act.

“Surely you would have noticed the weapon in the possession of the accused as she left for the office… and why would she have brought the weapon at all if it was the Overmare that called for her?.” Finally a question that drew some doubt on this ridiculously weak story, I doubted the answer would help me however. This whole thing was planned…practiced even, every question had an answer that would implicate me; everything was designed to assure the Stable that I was guilty; I didn’t know what I was going to do.

“She had seen the Overmare in the morning I remember… I don’t know what they talked about but it must have been what set her…what set the suspect off. She must have been planning to kill the Overmare and took the opportunity given to her.” I could feel physical pain as I struggled against the divide between thought and action. My mind gave orders again and again but my body wouldn’t react, I just sat and stared as inside I fought Saber’s unfeasible magical influence.

“And the weapon?”

“I didn’t stay long enough to see her leave but she was wearing a saddlebag that would have been large enough to conceal the pistol.” Some of the ponies I had passed in the hallways nodded in knowing confirmation. The guard next to me was wearing my saddlebag, having confiscated it last night; he swung it off with his telekinesis and presented it to the crowd.
“Yes, that’s the one.”

“Good, thank you Ms. Sorbet. I think that will be enough.” He motioned for her to sit down as he took her place at the pedestal.

I surveyed the crowd again, some were nodding, some looked angry and some wouldn’t even meet my gaze. I was glad I could at least control my eyes to an extent, not that it would help me. I looked at Clearheart…and she looked away. She couldn’t even make eye contact with me.
They had convinced her, they had convinced the pony who was most likely to believe in me.
This was over, I stood in front of all the ponies I had ever known in my life, reduced to a murderer.
I stood covered in the blood of their leader, a pony they had loved and respected, trapped in my own mind as Saber cast his holding spell. I had never heard of this kind of thing, I didn’t even know Saber had any aptitude with magic, and yet here I was, incarcerated by it. I was going to be damned.

“While the jurors deliberate,” the ‘jurors’ were the heads of the Commissary that I had seen at the conference room table and now they stood in their intimidating suits, cold and unified, beside the stage.

“We will give the suspect time to refute the charges, or atone for them.” He looked back at me, horn aglow in a pale blue, and smiled. My rage imploded then as the repressed protests and screams desperately pushed to be heard. They merged together into red noise and anger as they were imprisoned to my mental plane. Just as I thought I was going to experience a brain hemorrhage based on the pain I was experiencing; his horn stopped glowing, the magic stopped, and it all came out.

He must have seen it in my eyes, the fury, and had released his restraints on my body as it reached its peak. I went from having an unresponsive body, doing nothing as I tried to make it obey, to having it suddenly adhere to every order I had given it, all at once while I desperately tried to stop it. I rapidly alternated between rearing and bucking, pulling violently on the chain binding me to the Security mare and slamming her to the ground. The scream I let out was raw with repressed bloodlust; there were no words, only what I imagined a welled up reservoir of pure anger being released would sound like. The dam wall broke and the barrage of emotion was released, I couldn’t have stopped it even if I had been warned. It was over just as quickly as it had begun, but as I gained control over myself and complied to my own restraints Saber’s locked me into place again. He had let me loose just long enough and after the chaos was over he had trapped me again. My chance to speak was wasted, instead of revealing the truth or simply sitting in forced silence I had had a violent outburst; I had lost my chance by failing to deal with the resurrection of control so suddenly. I must have looked insane, like a savage…like a murderer.
To Saber I looked perfect.

“I’ll take that as a confession.” Still smiling he turned back to the horrified crowd. The looks on their faces indicated that the anger was gone; it had been replaced by fear. They were afraid of me. I had played the final role in sealing my own destiny. I had given them the proof they needed. Nobody doubted the Commissary and my judgment would come without question. There was no way I was avoiding it.
It was over.

“What have you ruled?” He turned back to the jurors. The ponies of the Stable were hardly even paying attention; they were ready for me to leave. They were desperate for me to leave.

A white mare stepped up to the stage, an earth pony, though I wasn’t even watching Saber’s horn as I could still feel the spell holding me. It didn’t need to anymore; I was done.

“Grace Marie is found guilty of the murder of Shady Sands our Overmare. The crime of murder had always been, and will always be, punishable by damnation. We have deemed it a fitting sentence in this instance and conclude that Grace is no longer a member of the Stable. For the betterment of our society and the protection of our populous she is to be removed from our home by banishment. Damnation awaits her.” The crowd didn’t cheer or applaud; they just persisted in either their wide-eyed staring or an aversion of their gaze, sliding limply back into the stalls. They gave a wide berth to the middle passage that I would be escorted down, huddling together as they compressed away from it.

“The Confessor will now perform the rite of damnation as is customary for members of the Faith. Though Grace is not a member, the Confessor is willing to give it to any he feels are in need of one last prayer.” Saber said, giving me one final glance before descending off the stage. I could move again, but I didn’t want to. Saber would stop me from trying anything assuredly… but I wouldn’t; my will was broken.
As the Confessor stepped up the unicorns of the Faith began creating the sound of percussion. They played a slow and steady beat with their horns; it was rising slowly and would follow me on my way to the airlock. It was the music they played for the damned.

“Though she is not a child of the Faith, I perform this rite for the sake of her soul in hopes that, when faced with this mock afterlife she will prepare herself for her real one.” The Confessor’s voice spoke over the beat of the drums, his purple eyes were no longer shining, his tone was solemn and slow.
“Everypony is capable of repentance in the eyes of the Goddesses, even one who doesn’t believe. The death and suffering of the outside world will serve as your bane in this life sinner, but beyond it, what awaits is up to you. Redemption is the path to salvation, repent and you shall be saved. You will be lost but through virtue and forgiveness you may also be found, to eventually come to the same land that the pure will be gifted with. You can walk the path of sin for a time… but change your course and you may one day come to inhabit the Kingdom of the Skies.” The guards began to pull me along, off the stage and through the path between the stalls. I didn’t look up; I kept my eyes locked to the ground as I tried to ignore the fearful stares and hateful whispers from the ponies of the Stable.
“May the virtues bestowed upon our kind by the Goddesses find you, and may they absolve your soul.”
His voice rang out from behind me, I took no comfort in them, I had done no wrong and yet there was no purified land awaiting me. The Kingdom of the Skies was not my future, Equestria was all that was ahead of me, the Stable was all that was behind. Despite the knowledge that I would never see any of these ponies again I did not take the chance to look at them, to talk to them, to try one final time to convince them that they weren’t looking at anything but a murderer. It was over.

Soon the haze had passed, the Atrium teeming behind me as I followed my wary escorts down one last steel hallway. I was alone with my two guards and Chief Grayback, the chief behind us as the guards flanked me on either side. I would have walked out on my own volition then, I didn’t need to be forced, there was nothing left for me here. They had taken it from me. We reached the room that exited into the airlock, an exit that nopony except the damned had presumably ever used. They removed the chain collar from my bruised neck. Those marks had been from my own violent outburst, when the cold metal had served to restrain my still aching body.

The guards turned to leave us, the Chief of Security and I, to perform whatever final piece of ceremony was left to this process. They didn’t go far, standing at opposite ends of the door we had come through. Silent and stoic, as they had been when standing at opposite walls of the detention block. I wasn’t mad at them, all the passion I had had was gone, it had left me at the moment I knew that I could not save myself. It had left me at the moment I had realized that I would fail the truth and fail Shady Sands. Chief Grayback looked at me levelly, I wasn’t sure if I was crying but my eyes felt wet and sore, and he sighed.

“I’m so sorry for this.” Of course he knew, the whole Commissary seemed to know. “I truly am.”

“How many knew…all of you?” I asked softly.

“Yes, about twenty. Saber, myself and all the members of Admin and Security.”

“How could you let this happen? Some of you are good ponies… but you’re all standing by and allowing murder and deception to run rampant in your own home.” My voice was weak, pleading. I felt like I had been crying and screaming for hours, though I hadn’t even been allowed that.

“It’s for the good of the Stable, the ends justify the means. But I know that, especially from where you’re standing, that’s hard to believe. You don’t deserve this.” He seemed genuinely remorseful, I supposed he would be. And yet he was allowing this to happen, he hadn’t tried to save me, he hadn’t tried to stop Shady Sand’s murder, quite the opposite in fact. It was hard to understand how so many could alternate between such opposing poles of moral standing. Good ponies had allowed terrible atrocities because they believed they were necessary. It reminded me of what I had read about the War.

“Shady Sands didn’t deserve to die. You know that. You can fix this, go back and tell them the truth, it’s not too late to make up for what you’ve let happen.”

“I can’t, it would make her death meaningless. She was sacrificed to save the Stable. If I tell them the truth then even without her, the idea of leaving the Stable will fester, it will spread, eventually it will happen and we will all be lead to a cold death in the wastes. There’s no going back now.” They had been so afraid of an idea that they had killed to protect themselves from it. He was right, there was no going back. “We’re saving hundreds of lives by sacrificing one…two. The Stable will stay safe for hundreds of years to come, thanks to us…thanks to you.” He put his hoof on my side.

“I should probably leave; I see that you won’t be convinced.” I whispered. “We’ve reached the point where going back would be worse than fixing this. It doesn’t make it right though, nothing can atone for what has happened. I…I can’t stay here, just let me go.” I was exhausted and depressed. I didn’t feel like I was the only one who had failed anymore. I could see that they all had. They thought they had saved the Stable but they had done so through murder and lies. They had sacrificed their ideals, those of truth and democracy, to prevent change. No matter who they thought they were saving, no matter how many generations of consistent cowardice they had assured, they could never justify their methods. The ends did not justify the means, and they would have to live with that. They were beyond saving.

“I have a few things I want to give you. I’m not sending you out there to die.”

“You’re the ones who believe it’s so dangerous out there, why bother trying to help somepony that you’ve already marked as a corpse. According to the Commissary I won’t survive long enough for it to matter.”

“I have to do something.”
He went to the far corner of the room and lifted a saddlebag in his mouth, then brought it over and emptied it in front of me.

“These things…were your father’s. I know you probably never knew him, but they aren’t for sentimentality, they’re for survival.”

“Why would you give me his things? Why do you even have them here?” I asked, it was hard for me to feel grateful after what this buck had been a part of, but a chilling acceptance was beginning to pass over me like a wave. I would never really forgive these ponies for what they had done but I was starting to come to terms with what was going to happen. Knowing I had no other options.

“We confiscated these things form him on the day he was damned… we don’t usually let anyone take anything out, but I owe you, we all do.” His eyes were downcast. ”As to why we have it, well, the gun we planted as the murder weapon, it really was your fathers. We brought the rest of this stuff up with it out of storage. Saber agreed when I requested permissions to pass them on to you.” He gave me a collared white shirt, an ornate vest and a thick coat with a golden symbol on the side. I examined the articles of clothing closely. The shirt was similar to the stable’s utility jumpsuit except had no flank half, the vest was dark brown with golden inscriptions running along its hems, like stitching and scripture combined. The coat was a lighter shade of brown and would collar around my neck as it rested upon my back, it wasn’t long and I estimated its hem would just about cover my cutie-mark.

“You sent him out there naked and unarmed?” I wasn’t concerned, just curious.

“We just took his saddlebags, these were inside, he was wearing his jumpsuit and had a knife. His gun was also in the pack.” He lifted the gun out. I had seen it at the trial, hated it, but the thick pistol was admittedly beautiful up close. It was silver with greyer decals, its handle dark but speckled with gold and light brown dots, like countless stars in the darkness. It had an inscription running along its length, in an ancient language that I couldn’t read. He put it back in the saddlebag and urged me to put on the clothes, I obliged. They fit well and were surprisingly clean and sturdy; I felt uncomfortably warm in the coat but kept it on. Grayback swung the saddlebags over my back and strapped them on, securing them tightly.

“Grace I need to show you something on your Pip-buck, something that may well keep you alive.” He was obviously burdened by his guilt and for a moment I found it hard to be angry at the strong old buck. I listened as he gave me a detailed description of something called S.A.T.S; I had already read about it in the Pip-buck manual but had never seen a practical use for it in the Stable. He gave me simple instructions on how to use it and explained what each value that would pop up in my Eyes Forward Sparkle would mean; he also explained that a red band indicated a hostile target whereas the white ones I had seen almost all my life symbolized non-hostiles. Judging from experience I figured a white band didn’t always indicate someone who wasn’t a threat, Saber certainly didn’t deserve its naïve judgment. I had never seen use for these functions before but understood how valuable they would be in a combat situation. You could essentially stop time, strategize and line up your shots while your opponent stood frozen in place, it could save your life. He finished off his explanation.
“Maybe you were right Grace, maybe it won’t be so bad out there, but I’d like you to be able to take care of yourself nonetheless.”

“With the whole Stable together we could have faced whatever is out there Grayback, why couldn’t we have at least send scouts, why couldn’t we try? Anything is better than defaming our principles, abandoning our morals to do something like this.”

“An idea is a powerful thing; we had to stop the Overmare from sharing that idea. You know that Saber tried convincing her, but in the end, we did what was necessary to protect the Stable. I hope someday you’ll see that.”

“I won’t. I know they’ve got you convinced that what you’re doing is somehow justified, but I’ll just never be able to see it that way. I just can’t.” I was resigned to this whole situation, I wasn’t going to be able to tell the Stable the truth and Saber would probably ascend as soon as another Overmare was elected. I had to stop caring, somehow I would have to put this all behind me, this wasn’t my home, though it hadn’t been for years honestly. I had no stake in it and had already done what I could to try and change it, leading myself here. I was going to be alone, but not for the first time.

“Good luck out there Grace; I truly wish it didn’t have to come to this.” He pressed the button to open the sleek doors to the airlock, bowing his head to me as he held the button.

“It didn’t.” I admonished as I walked into the entrance room of the Stable. The airlock, the first room the ponies of the old world had seen while entering, the last that the damned passed through on their way out. That was me now, I was one of the damned, and I hoped that I was the first of them who had come to this on these terms. The small metal door slid shut behind me and I stood alone with only the giant cog of reinforced steel between me and Equestria. In reality this door had been all that had been dividing us from the outside this whole time, it had made all the difference between life and death for our ancestors. It had decided who lived and died in that horrible war, who would shelter behind it and who would burn alongside the world.

The metal creaked and I could hear the sound of pressurized air being released as the internal mechanisms of this great technology went to work. The air seemed to change in the room as soon as the door clicked away from where it had been set. The divider slid towards me before rolling tooth after tooth to the side revealing the incredible darkness beyond it, it was the deepest black I had ever seen, and yet it called to me. I had no desire to stay, nor any reason to, and not even fear was enough to make me hesitate. I began my approach towards the all consuming darkness; I began on the path to my damnation.

Footnote: Level up!
Perk Added: Daddy’s Filly: Getting kicked out of the same Stable by damnation isn’t the only thing you and your dad have in common! You gain +5 in small guns and +5 in explosives. The apple doesn’t fall far etc.

Next Chapter: Chapter 3: Road to Damascus Estimated time remaining: 16 Hours, 6 Minutes