The sidemost window inside the gate of Paradise building just looked out over the mountainside, into the void of beige and grey emptiness below. There was nothing to see, and yet Applejack couldn’t stop looking.

Her hand rested on the windowsill as she stood next to it, leaned up against the wall, and she didn’t even remember the rest of the world existed until she felt another hand gently place itself on top of hers, the werewolf gasping slightly at the sudden physical contact.

Applejack barely glanced over at Coloratura; enough to see Coloratura’s smile out of the corner of her eye, but Applejack refused to make eye contact. She let the siren’s hand stay on hers though. It wasn’t that bad.

Until it was.

Until the guilt crept in, the knowledge of what Applejack was leading herself into and how that would affect everyone she told herself that she didn’t care about. Then Coloratura’s soft touch started burning a hole into Applejack’s hand, and she couldn’t bear it.

She snatched her hand away, rubbing it like it’d gotten a real injury. In a way she supposed it had, but…

Applejack crossed her arms; a flimsy, imaginary barrier against the affection that she knew Coloratura wanted to give her. Applejack didn’t dare look her in the eye, so she returned her gaze to the window.

Coloratura just stood there, staring at Applejack. It was unnerving, having the siren’s eyes on her. No, it wasn’t even the siren’s eyes as much as it was the eyes of her own guilt.

Applejack looked over at Coloratura, at her beautiful smile and her gorgeous raven hair with those cute teal highlights. The way her body perfectly fit into that little black dress she always wore, and the way the hem and her stockings combined to make this adorable little slice of exposed fur on her upper thighs.

She was so sweet. Enough to make a mare sick.

Applejack turned to face her, likely in preparation of saying some rude thing to her that would make her want to leave Applejack alone, but as she looked down at that beautiful smile, she stopped short.

Coloratura took a step closer to Applejack, who considered moving back but forced herself to stay put. Coloratura gently took Applejack’s hands in hers, and the werewolf grit her teeth. She wanted to run or to bite or to snatch her hands away, but she forced herself to stay.

She wanted to stay.

“Applejack,” Coloratura whispered, and Applejack swallowed her nerves even as they wreaked havoc through her brain like an electric shock.

“Yeah?” Applejack croaked out.

“I love you,” Coloratura confessed softly. “I want you to know that. I want you to know that whatever happens, no matter what you decide to do, I will always love you.”

If Coloratura had taken a spear and jammed it into Applejack’s beating heart, it would have hurt her less.

Applejack grabbed Coloratura by her forearms and jerked her away, Coloratura gasping at the sudden jolt of movement, but Applejack still held onto her at arm’s length. Applejack sighed and loosened her grip, almost feeling weak at the knees as she looked over the siren’s beautiful body, and as she grappled with the affection in Coloratura’s eyes.

She didn’t doubt Coloratura’s words for a second, and if she were being honest, then she would like nothing more than to hold her childhood friend in her arms and cradle her with love. Autumn Blaze too, quite frankly.

If Applejack could, she would run away with them both, leave this whole disgusting hierarchy and all of the bloodshed behind her, and just devote herself to providing for her two beautiful wives.

But that just ain’t in the cards for ol’ Applejack.

She couldn’t think about the Flim Flam Brothers’ faces without sneering, she couldn’t think of her little sister who went missing, or her big sister who she abandoned, or the rest of her family who had been killed, so many dying before her eyes or even in her arms.

How could she hope to face those who were left after what she had done, after everything she’d thrown away, if it had all been for nothing?

How could she face herself?

Applejack dug her claws into Coloratura’s arms, gritting her teeth behind a closed stoic scowl. She knew in her heart she could never live with the life of a mediocre door guard for the rest of her days, and she could never live with the guilt of betraying her family if she tried to take Autumn and Rara and just run away and try to build a new life with them.

But… no matter what she did now, she would be betraying her family. She couldn’t act like she didn’t care about Autumn and Rara as if they were family, and she would need to turn her back on them, or on the Apple Pack.

Applejack turned her back on Coloratura, and without a word to her, walked out of the gate of Paradise building, into the emptiness of the Circle outside. Applejack needed to be by herself for a bit, to really make peace with her guilt.

At the very least, whether her revenge succeeded or failed, the attempt would mean she wouldn’t need to live with the guilt for much longer.

If you enjoyed this chapter, please let me know by leaving a comment! I absolutely adore reading them!
Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!