Sorrow was the strongest feeling coursing through his body, seeing other ponies with their families in the streets in jubilation. Applejack trotted back to Sweet Apple Acres with Apple Bloom on her back and Big Macintosh by her side. Rarity was leading Sweetie Belle back into Carousel Boutique, promising to allow her to help sew a dress. Pinkie balanced Pound and Pumpkin on her back, telling them an exaggerated tale as the Cakes walked on either side of her, keeping an eye on their foals.

All in all, happiness was abound in Ponyville that night, and it tore him up inside. There was an emptiness that he longed to fill, since he was born. An emptiness that to this day has been growing dangerously vast with each passing moment.

He closed his eyes and began to vision himself running up to a hill, where a certain lavender pony was standing. She was beaming at him with open forelegs, ready to welcome him. Once he reached her, he felt the warmth of love coursing through his cold-blooded veins, though it was not the love from a lover he was longing for.

“SPIKE!” he yelped and fell backwards as the same lavender pony shouted from behind. “Stop daydreaming! We got to get back to the library, I need to write to the princess,”

Spike stood up and dusted himself off, “Why don’t we stop at Sugarcube Corner and get some cupcakes? I’ll pay,”

“Sorry Spike, this letter is kind of urgent. We’ll go get something tomorrow, I promise.”

Well that’s another broken promise to come right there. Why do I even bother?

Because you don’t have any other options, remember?

Spike sighed at his brain’s very valid point. Who else could he turn to for the familiar desire he craved? Celestia was far too busy being a princess to be a mother, and the other Bearers had their own to look after. Even Rainbow Dash had her fill with Scootaloo, though the athletic pegasus would never admit to it. To add insult to injury, Twilight’s been spending more of her free time with her latest friends. He was just there for the background, as a doormat, nothing more. It pained him to be neglected so, yet he still loved her and could not bear adding stress to Twilight’s life with his loneliness... since he only was her assistant.

He shook his head. Okay, maybe that wasn’t very fair. She had followed him into dangerous dragon territory for his safety after all. And she stood by him even after his rampage had leveled half the town. Even after being a jerk, she came looking for him when he ran away from home. And the fact that she was raising him at all, rather than dumping him on the palace servants, had to mean something.

Still, whenever there wasn’t a crisis on hand, he couldn’t help but feel like he didn’t matter. Like he was a mere convenience to Twilight. If he had to practically get himself killed before getting her attention, maybe he really didn’t matter.

“Fine, lets go.” he said, walking onwards to the library without looking back.

Oh dear! I hope he’s ok. I know I haven’t been spending enough time with him. I really want to make it up to him. I really want you to be happy Spike.

Your words contradict to your actions, hypocrite

Twilight cursed to her mind for saying such a thing, but she sighed in defeat, knowing full well it was the truth. She had been busy, obsessing as usual over her studies on friendship and whatever else struck her fancy. While she had never meant to neglect her charge, she continually lost track of how much time she had spent with him, something she regretted every time.

She was the one responsible for bringing him to this world; by hatching his egg, getting accepted to Canterlot School for Gifted Unicorns, becoming Celestia’s protege and receiving her cutie mark. But the thing that made that day really special to her was receiving Spike. When she first laid eyes on him and cradled him in her forelegs, she was filled with a deep warmth that she could not explain.

Celestia, against the ‘better judgement’ of the professors of the school, decided to let Twilight raise Spike herself (though she did help out at times). She fed him, cleaned him, read him bedtime stories, taught him how to read and write, all things considered she was like a mother to the baby dragon.

What kind of mother makes her own son feel miserable?

She sighed, walking towards the library with a sour expression on her face. The past two years had not been kind to Spike, and she knew it. During Winter Wrap Up, where she had desperately tried many things to be accepted, she and the others had played a prank on him by having him nearly drown in the freezing lake, something that to this day she regrets seeing as how close he was in death’s embrace.

When Rainbow Dash had invited them to the Best Young Fliers competition in Cloudsdale, she told him to look after the library whilst she was gone enjoying the outing, even though Spike really wanted to see the cloud city, she did promise him to take him up there... someday.

He had gotten dreadfully ill just the day before her first birthday in Canterlot. Despite her insistence that she could put off any celebration until he was better, he refused to let her delay what she had been looking forward to for months and allowed her to leave for Canterlot. Twilight had jumped on the opportunity, but had always regretted it since, knowing her baby dragon was heartbroken at not being able to attend.

Then came the big catalyst, his birthday party. What was supposed to be a special day for him turned into an absolute nightmare for her, seeing the child she raised become a greedy beast. For months afterward he refused to leave the library, missing on all the adventures they had for months. All her attempts to cheer him up fell flat on their faces. All he would do was mope around as he completed his chores, and some nights his grief had become so unbearable that he crawled into her bed, desperate for some comfort. She always complied, but it pained her she could not do more.

And of course, that wasn’t counting how she treated him while stressed out, even before she came to Ponyville. Whenever a test or an essay was stressing her out, she would become cross with him, often unintentionally making his job more difficult. Once it was all over she’d apologize, spent some time with him and promise, sincerely, never to neglect him again. It was a cycle that never seemed to break, though she seemed to have calmed down since coming to Ponyville. She has been improving, never being happier in her life, with making new friends and spending time with them... yet that happiness seemed to have the negative effect on Spike. Nearly every action she performed, seemed to have affected Spike.

By the time she reached the library, Spike already had the parchment and quill ready. He was still as loyal and efficient as ever, even in his bad mood. “Alright, what’s the letter?”

She smiled weakly, her eyes becoming slightly misty before closing them and drawing a deep breath. “Ok, lets begin. ‘Dear Princess Celestia...”

Dusk became night, and Spike lay in his basket, curled up into a ball. Spike awoke to the chirping of birds, the warmth of the sun and the laughter of mares. When he looked up, he saw Twilight and her friends having a picnic at their favourite location. He smiled to himself and began making his way to the rest of them, hoping to spend some time with Twilight. But with the first step, he could not move any further.

He looked behind himself to see darkness reaching out to his shadow and forbidding him any movement. The darkness began to pull on his shadow, forcing him to be pulled backwards as well. He started screaming for help, using his claws to latch onto the ground to pull himself free from the darkness’ grip.

“TWILIGHT! HELP ME!” he yelled out desperately.

Though once Twilight saw him, she just shrugged it off, “Meh, at least now I will gain a better assistant.”

Spike felt the darkness reaching to the rest of his body, as if it was eating him away with each moment that passed. Spike screamed once again to Twilight, begging for her to save him, but to be ignored once again. Once the darkness reached his neck, his eyesight started to fade along with his hearing.

“MOMMY!!!”

Spike’s eyes’ shot open, sitting upright and breathing heavily. He felt sweat pouring from his body and tears flowing freely from his eyes. He looked around and saw he was back in the library in his basket and saw Twilight’s bed, with her sleeping soundly. He noticed she was smiling in her sleep. This in turn made him feel so disgusted that he let out a barely audible growl, displaying a scowl at how perfect she has had it with her life so far and not caring about his pain and how he has been losing his mind. He jumped out of his basket and made his way downstairs. Once he reached the ground floor, he found his way to the middle of the room and curled up in a fetal position. Once he did so, he released a river of tears and began asking himself

“Why? Why don’t you love me?”

Twilight walked down the stairs, Celestia’s morning sun peeking in through the window. “Spike? You’re up early this morning,” she called. “Have you started break...”

She stopped. She saw Spike lying on the floor, his back to her. He wasn’t moving.

“Spike!” she cried, running over to him. She used her hoof to turn him around to face her.

She nearly screamed at what she saw. Spike looked almost skeletal, his skin clinging to bone like everything in between had been sucked out of him. His eyes were wide open in a horrified, sorrowful expression, begging to know why.

“Spike? SPIKE?!”

His mouth didn’t move. His body didn’t make a sound. But his voice still ran through her mind.

Why? Why did you ignore me? Why didn’t you love me? You were all I had. Why? Why?!

“SPIKE!”

Twilight shout out of bed, sweat drenching her face. After a few deep breaths, she turned to Spike’s basket.

He wasn’t there. Fear struck her heart.

In a flash she lept out of bed. “Spike? Spike?” Desperately she ran downstairs. “Spike? Please, are you still here?”

She reached the first floor. Spike was laying on the floor. Fear crawled back into her heart.

“Spike!” she called, running over to him. This time, her calls actually alerted the baby dragon, who turned to face her. He shivered, quickly drying his tears.

“Twilight? I...I was just...”

The purple unicorn didn’t let him finish. She pulled him into her forelegs, kissing his forehead wildly. “Spike! I had the worst dream! Oh, you’re alright, I’m so glad you’re alright!” She nuzzled him as if he were the most fragile thing in Equestria.

Spike was shocked at what Twilight was doing. It took him a few moments for his brain to start functioning again, realizing that Twilight’s tears and concern was genuine. He starting tearing up again, reaching his arms to her chest.

“Why?”

Twilight looked down at the dragon, confused by his question. Before she could answer him, he started pounding on her chest, sobbing away with his head buried deep in her.

“Why do you always take so long to even care for me!?”

Twilight was shocked at what Spike asked her. She knew she wasn’t always there for him, but she always did care for him and felt horrible for all the past neglects and broken promises. Yet now, she saw the full length of how much pain she has caused the poor baby dragon. “I’m so sorry,” she said after holding him tightly and crying into his shoulders. “I’m so sorry Spike! I’ve been a terrible friend and I promise you I will try harder I promise you!”

“Twilight...”

“Yes?”

“I don’t want you as my friend,”

Twilight’s heart broke into millions of pieces hearing this. She drove Spike into this, she made him so miserable, she made him cry alone with nopony to be there for him, she failed him. Twilight began to slowly back away, assuming that her presence was not wanted by the baby dragon anymore. She turned around and walked slowly to the stairs. She wanted to go upstairs, climb into her bed, and wallow in guilt at what she has done to the boy.

“I want you as my mother.”

Twilight's head turned instantly at these words to face Spike, her eyes forming new sets of tears and he breathing momentarily stopping at what she just heard.

“I know it might seem weird, but...you’ve always been there for me.” He was having trouble talking through his tears. “You taught me everything I know and...and you were there for me when nopony else was. Please...can I call you Mom?”

Twilight breathing hastened and more tears flowed from her eyes. She used her magic, to engulf Spike in her purple aura and sending him flying towards her. When he made contact with her, she fell backwards with him in her forelegs and she held onto him while she was on her back crying.

I’m such an idiot, here I thought I was being the worst friend and now I see how I’ve been the worst mother ever! I’m so sorry Spike, I promise... no I SWEAR I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE!

Twilight sniffed her tears as she lifted her head to face Spike,“You really want me to be your mother?”

Spike looked into her eyes before nodding his head and returning the embrace and crying into Twilight’s chest.

“Oh Spike! You call me that everyday, everyday from now on!” she said, her words being tainted with the tears flowing freely from her eyes. “I love you, my son! I love you so much!”

She leaned her head against his, kissing his forehead and holding him tightly as they both were crying from the revelation that occurred tonight.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I’ve been taking care of Spike for years, and in that time I’ve grown to love him dearly. However, it’s only been recently that I realized just how much he means to me. I wanted to thank you for letting me have him on the day I hatched him, you gave me something I treasure more than anything. I have a son now.

But I also learned that having a son means I need to be more attentive to him. No matter how important my studies are, I can learn to make time for him. I can’t let time get away from me. I promise, no... I swear to never neglect him again.

Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle

Twilight set the quill down on the desk and rolled the letter up, setting it aside to be sent later. She yawned and pulled away from the table, looking to the side at her own bed. She heard Spike snoring soundly in his sleep in the basket, clutching his blanket for warmth from the night.

An idea popped in her head, with a smile forming slowly. She made her way to her bed, climbing in and looked down on Spike’s sleeping body. She used her magic to lift him gently from his basket and placed him next to her, where she wrapped her foreleg around him drawing him in closer. He instinctively snuggled closer to her chest, with his snoring becoming less audible. “My little Spikey” she said softly, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

Twilight was thinking of what to do tomorrow with Spike; take him to Sugarcube for a party (where Pinkie would most likely call it a “Mother-son party”) or take him to Cloudsdale to see the wonders of the skycity. Whatever she chose, she knew that from now on that she would do her utmost to be there for Spike... to be there for her son.