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LoZ Band of Misfits

by Chaos Nightmare

Chapter 1: Arrival


Boring, that how I would describe my job. Not that I’m legally allowed to describe it, working in an Officially decommissioned government bunker I’m not allowed to speak about my job to anyone except the higher-ups and even then I have to Brown nose so I don’t get sent to a worse place. I wasn’t even allowed a cell or anything to pass the time. So all I could do was stare at the walls. Luckily I was promised a promotion for the new year and it was a good post to, a nice office job at some military base was hundred times better than just sitting here, at least I would have something to do and have access to the internet.

I sighed This was an important job in case the U.S got attacked as this was meant to house the President or the state Governer but its still a boring job. The least they could let me bring my 3DS so I could pass the time but to quote the Boss ‘Its a security hazard and will not be allowed on the premises.’ And I was not about to risk jail time for a game of Pokemon or something.

As I daydreamed about my upgraded position the alarms started to go off and the Bunker door locked on me “No no no no!” I shouted while trying to get the door open, but it was pointless as the door controls must have glitched again locking me in, they really need to fix the mechanism for that door this is the 17th time this has happened this year, and unfortunately, nobody will come here till new years. I sighed as all my Christmas plans went down the drain.

As hours passed I wandered the complex bored out of my mind, oh sure there were entertainment equipment but I might get into trouble if I used them, The higher ups would understand me eating food as I needed to live but they were kinda stingy when it came to stuff like this. I eventually found a place to place a Sleeping bag as there was no way I would sleep in one of the beds. And as I fell asleep I wondered how my family would handle Christmas without me. ‘I’m sure they’ll be fine.’ I thought to myself before drifting off.


I awoke to a white void “What the hell?” I mumbled to myself as I got up from what I assumed was the ground and as I got up I realized that the pillow and sleeping bag I had were no longer there.

Hello there madam,” A Scottish voice said.

“Whos there?” I asked looking around and seeing nobody around.

Who indeed, is it just your mind or is there someone there?” the voice asked this time coming from behind me. I quickly turned around and saw nothing and as I turned back I saw a man wearing a purple suit sitting on a chair that I was sure wasn’t there a second ago “Well don’t just stand there take a seat” the man said as I noticed a second chair right beside the one he was sitting on that I know wasn’t there before. Cautiously I took a step towards him not sure of what to make of this, my instinct were both telling me something was off yet also that I should trust this guy. “Well don’t be shy come on, take a seat.

As I took a seat I asked the man “Where am I?”

I shall answer your question with another question, what day is it today?

Confused I simply replied “December 21?”

The day the world fell to chaos, the day the Mayans predicted,” he said before looking away “Or in other words the end of the world,” he explained as I was stunned, what happened to my family, to my friends. “Oh don’t worry everything will be a bad dream by tomorrow for those that didn’t survive or didn’t pass the test.” He explained

“Test?” I asked confused.

Oh don’t worry about it, it doesn’t concern you right now, anyway I probably should congratulate you on arriving here,” he said as he mumbled something “I’m going to offer you a prize.

“A prize for what?”

Surviving the end of the world my dear.” The man exclaimed, “I could send you back but since some of the other survivors have elected to head to other worlds with powers from their favorite media, I’ve decided that I should just ask if you want something” The man explained while I looked at him before then looked at my hands unsure of what to do, did I really want to abandon everything I know just for some chance at adventure, sure my life was boring, what of my family surely they would miss me. “And you don’t have to worry about that if you do choose to accept this offer I’ll place a clone in your place on earth.

“Prove to me that you really can do this,” I asked as the man smiled before he snapped his fingers and three videos showed up. The first was of a man wielding a giant key fighting shadow monsters, in the second was a man jumping from tree to tree fighting a hydra with clones of himself, and the final one had a red horse wearing a black Gi fighting a group of white ponies in golden armor before transforming into a human. “Those are three of the ones that accepted my offer.” the man said.

I thought about it for a second before asking “Could you give me the Triforce of Courage?”

The man looked at me for a second unsure of something but ultimately answered “Ay that I can do, just hand me your left hand.” He said as I hesitantly moved my hand towards him. He gently grabbed the top of my left hand and a light shown brightly underneath it. When he was done the Triforce was on my hand.

Is there anything else for you my dear?” he asked as I shook my head no, I couldn’t think of anything else I wanted. With that, he clapt his hands before saying “We’ll lass its time for you to have your journey but there is one last gift I must give.” he then got up and grabbed my head filling my vision with a bright light, and like that, I was gone.


As I started to open my eyes everything was blurry and I believe I heard a voice say something “Hey, boss I found something!”

Hmmm, it looks scrawny probably too weak for the mines, Lets put it in the pits and have it fight.” Another voice said as I was gaining my sight back and saw two Anthropomorphic dogs dragging me.

Hmm, I think it's waking up, let's fix that,” The first one said before a blow to the back of my head fixed that.

As I came too again I saw a bar door and cave walls “Oh good you're up.” A voice said as I looked around and saw a Pony chained up by the neck. I tried to move my hands only to notice that one of them was chained up. I turned to the Bars and saw an anthropomorphic dog with a spear “Don’t bother struggling you’re not going to be here for long anyway The Boss has you heading to the Pit.” the Dog said as they threw a piece of bread at my feet saying “Last meal.” before leaving while I wondered what was going on.

I glanced around wondering what had happened that is when the pony spoke “Looks like your off to the Pit.” I would be surprised but I was captured by anthropomorphic dogs so this is lower on the weird scale.

“Whats the Pit? And where am I?” I asked.

“You're in what's known as the Citadel and as for the pit nopony here knows what the Pit is but if somepony acts out of line there the guards punish us and say its because of one of the slaves there.”

“What are those dog things anyway?”

“You mean the Diamond Dogs they are the masters of the Mines.”

Later that night as I slept I saw a strange white room, different from the void where I met the old man, this room had fourteen pillars with faces gazing down at me. I didn’t know why but they felt familiar yet distant at the same time. But before I could do anything there I was awakened by another Diamond Dog guard “Hey Knife ears time to wake up.” The guard said splashing what I hoped was water on me before coming in and unlocking the cuff my hand was in and began to drag me up.

‘Knife ears?’ I wondered to myself what he meant while I was being led to. While we walked I saw more cages with other ponies, some zebra’s, and even some diamond dogs locked up.

We stopped in front of a pit that I guessed was the pit that the first dog mentioned. “Alright Knife ears time to make some entertainment.” the dog said before throwing me the hole. As I hit the ground I felt pain, but I wasn’t dead which I can't decide if that was a good thing or not, but as I got up from the ground I heard what sounded like a large crowd cheering from the only cave out of here and since there was only one way to go, I went towards the noise. As I got closer to the noise I saw weapons scattered on the walls and I started what the dog meant by entertainment, prisoners were fighting each other for the dog's entertainment.

I saw no other way out of this cave other than to fight though I wondered why the prisoners didn’t just use the weapons to fight back or try for freedom, but I remembered what that Pony said they if one of the fighters acts out of line they punish the others, I grabbed a sword and shield and headed for a close by gate.

Before I actually went through the gate I checked my ears as I was confused about why they were calling me Knife ears. I moved one of my hands towards my ears and was shocked by what I felt, they weren’t round ears but sharp elf ears, did that old man change my race to Hylian or something? Before I could ask myself any questions the gates opened and a voice shouted “Alright Everydog, Its time for the show, We have our rising star the Griffon and who’s their challenger today it's The Knife ear!” I walked out into the arena and saw a griffon that was missing a wing. “Let's have a clean fight-Oh who am I kidding, let the slaughter begin!” the voice said.

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