You sat in your recliner, sipping some cocoa while a little red-maned pony slept fitfully nearby. Ponies didn’t really feel the weather sometimes, but you sure did. It felt good to warm yourself up a bit.

You couldn’t seem to settle down tonight with all the thoughts swirling around in your head. Everything seemed to come back to Rose’s song. You’d asked Twilight about it but she hadn’t known much more than what you’d gathered from others. A magical song that just… came to you and signified a deep connection? How does something like a song do that? It didn’t make any sense.

You sighed and your gaze drifted over to your bay window. The full moon shone above, surrounded by innumerable, twinkling stars. Equestrian nights really were something. Not nearly enough artificial light to block out the view like where you’re from.

Years of internet addiction still showed their effects even after coming here, but it let you appreciate of the beauty of this place. You let out a breath and relaxed back into your chair. Despite everything, something about Equestrian nights put you at ease.

A wet gurgly burp echoed in the dark to your left, and you heard a feminine voice moan. You lit a candle in time to see Rose roll over the edge of the couch and flop onto the floor. She shakily got to her hooves and peered around with squinting eyes.

She saw you and her ears went back. “Non…?” she said, sounding almost like a scared filly. “Where’s the bathroom?”

“You need to puke?”

She hesitated a moment, then nodded. A rueful smile worked its way onto your face. So much for being at ease. You got out of your chair and gestured for her to follow you.

A few moments later, you found yourself holding her hair back as she retched red-tinted bile into your toilet. Not what you thought you’d be doing tonight, but life was weird that way.

Rose gagged and coughed, finally seeming to have gotten everything out. She sniffled, and you reached up toward the tissues above the toilet, wiped her nose, then tossed it in and flushed.

”I’m s-sorry, Anon,” she said, shuddering.

You smiled to yourself and rubbed your hand in circles on her back. “Shhh, you’re not doing anything wrong, Rose.”

”But you d-don’t have to help me. It’s probably really gross.”

“A little, but I’m going to help anyways.”

The two of you stayed like that for a moment, the little pony leaning into your touch. Poor girl really had a rough night. You absently ran your fingers through her fur, then switched to combing through her mane. She let out another small moan, this time sounding much more contented. You’d been sick with the flu a handful of times, and you remember your mother doing this while softly singing lullabies to you. You smiled thinking back.

As you continued to brush her back, you began to hum, just barely loud enough to hear over the water in the pipes. You paused, trying to remember some of the songs your mother used to sing to you. Nothing came to you. You began feeling out a directionless song, letting the moment take you. It came in baby steps—a few notes then a pause—as you felt your way through it. What came sounded strangely beautiful. Tired and sad in a way, but it made you feel good to sing.

Rose’s ears shot up and tilted toward you, her body going rigid.

You stopped. “Rose?”

“I just thought I heard…”

She sat there, ears angling, searching for something. Apparently not finding it, she sighed.

“Nevermind. I must be imagining things.”

“I was humming. Was that it?”

“I heard THAT, but then… I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Anon, do you mind if I get some fresh air or something? I don’t think I can sleep right now.”

You can only imagine. The girl probably had a lot on her mind. There was a lot for the both of you to get off your chests.

“Do you mind if I come with you?”

She hesitated at that, then gave a half-hearted shrug. ”If you want…”

A night breeze swept by, rustling the grass underfoot and you tucked your hands in your jacket’s pockets, thankful for bringing something to keep you warm. Ponyville stood to your back a ways behind, with nothing but an open field to the Everfree ahead.

Rose sat curled up beside you, staring out across the field. Neither of you spoke. You hadn’t felt the need just yet. Instead you found yourself watching her. Rose’s stomach rose and fell with her breathing, while the moon lit her face in a peculiar and fascinating way. Her eyes almost seemed to glow a beautiful fern green, while her hair and pelt gained a silvery shine in the moonlight. The wind gently brushed across her peach fur and she flicked an ear subconsciously. You found yourself smiling, a warm feeling spreading in you. It felt nice sitting out here, just the two of you.

Her eyes flicked up to yours and she stilled. A faint shade of pink spread across the bridge of her nose.

”What? Is there something on my face?” she said.

You gave a start. “Huh? Oh no, I was…” Realizing you’d been staring at the poor girl, you sat up and cleared your throat. “Sorry, I was just thinking—didn’t mean to make you nervous.”

She frowned and lay her head on the grass. “S’okay…”

The silence which had been relaxing up until now seemed to hang in the air like a weight. At some level, both of you understood why you’d wanted to come along. There was a lot that needed to be said—you couldn’t let things lay as they had. You weren’t blind. But you were a coward. A coward who hadn’t said a word as you walked all through town with her. And now here you were, with nowhere farther to walk and not a single word uttered between the two of you. If you walked back now, you’d be putting her off again. You couldn’t do that any longer. But Rose was the first to break the silence.

”Anon, what do you do with those the flowers you buy from me?”

“The roses, you mean?” you said quirking an eyebrow.

She nodded. ”Flowers are usually a sign that someone is courting a stallion. Mares come to our stall for arrangements to give to colts all the time, sometimes with a flower theme that fits them.” She dug her hooves into the dirt, tracing little circles. ”I saw you had them set up by your front window. If you’re looking to start courting with Lyras herd, um… you should probably take them down. They’ll give the wrong impression.”

”I know. Lyra asked if I had been seeing someone the first time I put them up, and I had to ask Twilight what may have given her that idea.”

She sat up and gave you a searching look. ”... you knew? Then why’d you keep buying from me?”

You shrugged. “It’s not easy to explain. When I first came here, mares seemed really interested in me, and that was new and felt really good. At first I thought it was great but… it grew overwhelming. It was hard just going places, shopping for things, going to work for Twilight without getting attention, good and bad. I remember how much I hated...”

You paused choosing your words carefully. “I remember how much I hated turning away some mares. Some were crass and it didn’t bother me too much with them but… well, others were really nice, and I hated seeing how hurt they looked. Back in my world, things are pretty different and I remember what it was like, putting yourself out there, only to have your feelings not returned.”

Rose looked away from you.

“Eventually I didn’t want to have to keep doing it to them,” you continued. “For a long time I didn’t even know if I could feel that way about a pony. And then there were all the cultural differences—all the nuances about scent, and being a proper stallion, or how to act with a herd—how to even handle courting a herd in the FIRST place and…” You sighed. “It was hard to understand everything. The flowers helped give me time to think. I needed to see how I felt I guess.”

Her tail curled around her hooves and her ears went back. “And now?”

“Now? Well, I don’t know if I could be part of a herd.”

”Really?” she said, furrowing her brow slightly. ”A bunch of mares all to yourself, to protect and support you? You don’t want that?”

You snorted. “I remember a time when I did. Where I’m from, that’s an unattainable fantasy. But at some point I realized what it would take. I’d have to try hard to love everyone equally. I’d have to get to know them on a level that usually takes humans so long to cultivate. All it takes is one pony I don’t feel that chemistry with and everything falls apart for everyone. What if they kick her out because they’re afraid of that? What if they don’t and the mare thinks it’s all her fault when things aren’t working? What if I don’t want a whole herd and just want—”

You paused, opening your hand and letting the grass clippings you’d unconsciously been picking fall to the ground. “From everything I’ve seen, herding is just the way it’s done, but… then there’s the Cakes. Watching them, you can tell they’ve dedicated everything to fostering a relationship with one another and, it seems so...” You gestured with hand, trying to find the right word. “I don’t know what to call it, but it seems… nice, in a way.”

Rose sat eerily still. ”Nice…?” she said, her voice sounding choked and unsteady. ”So… you want something like what the Cakes have. You liked monogamy this whole time… who knew, right? Here I was thinking I couldn’t compete because I was only one mare, and hey, that was something I could understand at least, b-but now?!”

“Rose, I didn’t mean—”

You could hear the hurt in her voice as she trembled. “Is there something wrong with me or something? Do you hate me? Do you think I’m ugly or dumb or just some stupid stalker or something? You haven’t even given me a chance! I mean… you know what the song means, don’t you?”

Tears streaked down her cheeks and she looked down at her hooves. Her brilliant red mane covered her eyes from you. ”Do you just ignore it all the time? It is easy for you, because that’s not how it is for me. I want to go and sing so badly my chest hurts sometimes, but I can't, because you’ve never let out a single note, so what choice do I have but to bottle it all up? All I can do is hum and sing little melodies as quiet as I can, hoping with everything I have that one day you’ll actually acknowledge me.

“If you don’t care about me then just reject me outright already. This stupid song... I don't want to hear it anymore. It’s getting quieter and quieter by the day so just end it already. Tell me you never want to see me again. Hit me. Throw me out of your life and call me names! Tell me I’m just some stupid bitch who doesn’t know when to give it up.”

You made a move to reach toward her but stopped.

“Rose… I can’t—”

“Just do it! It’s how you feel anyways. Anon, you big… s-stupid, d-dumb—”

You leaned down and wrapped her in a hug, cutting her off. No matter what she said, you couldn’t hurt her, not like that. You didn’t have it in you.

”Anon—don’t...” She lowered her head into your shoulder and shuddered. “I can’t hate you if you act nice to me. Anon… please, let me be mad at you. If you don’t then I’m just going to go right back to… to...”

Her grip on your back tightened and she pressed herself into you. She felt so small, so vulnerable right then—a child gripping hard to a life raft and afraid to let go.

You moved a hand up and brought it behind her head, hugging her to your chest. “I’m sorry, Rose. I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah,” she said, her voice muffled into your shoulder.

“And selfish, and oblivious, and stubborn.”

“And… a two timer and selfish…”

“Mmhm.”

“And a janefilly and cute and—” She let out an ‘eep’ and stiffened in your arms.

You smiled to yourself and ran your hand along her back. This little pony… She was an amazing gem, even if she couldn't see that right now. But while you really liked her, you didn’t love her the same way she loved you. You ran your hands up and down her back, feeling that beautiful soft coat. It wasn’t right that she had to feel like this. You had to tell her. It would hurt, and you’d hate it, but this couldn’t go on anymore.

“Rose?”

”...yeah?” she answered, tensing up.

“I don’t hate you. There’s no way I could hate a sweet pony like you. But I also didn’t feel or hear anything the day you first sang to me. For me, that was just the first time meeting a stranger.”

She looked up at you, eyes moist, searching your face. “You really didn’t hear anything? Nothing at all?”

You shook your head. “I still don’t. And… I don’t feel the same way about you.”

A small light seemed to flicker out in Rose and her grip loosened on you. She sank to her haunches with an empty, far off look in her eyes.

“Rose?”

The pony in front of you just sat there, looking pale even in the faint moonlight. A small shiver went through her. “I-It’s gone… I can’t hear it anymore.”

A cold feeling went over you. “What?”

She didn’t answer you at first. Rose sat frozen in time, eyes wide open and looking at nothing. “Anon… could you… go and wait for me by Ponyville. I think I need a minute.”

“Yeah sure. Whatever you need, Rose.”

You got up and started toward town, hands in your pockets, your stride a touch jerky as you fought the weakness spreading in your legs. The faint howl of wind and shuffle of grass beneath your feet were the only sounds to accompany you, and it somehow punctuated the lack of hooves trotting at your side.

Your stomach felt like you’d swallowed a rock and your hands tightened into fists.

“Dammit…”

It was the right thing to do no matter how you try to look at it. She wasn’t going to get any better if you weren’t honest with her. So why did it feel like you hadn’t even tried?

You paused and leaned against a wooden post that set the boundaries for Ponyville. Letting your breathing still, you trained your ears outwards. Nothing but wind and grass echoed through the night. Was there something you were missing? Why couldn’t you hear it? Was it even there for you? Rose had sung to you before and you didn’t recognize it as anything but pretty sounding. Would this world be so cruel as to only give the song to one of the two? You had to admit, you knew nothing about magic, nor could you even seem to use it. But everyone here had magic in them, even you; Twilight had said so. So why, if you were really meant for each other, would it not work? It was all so impossible to understand…

Could it be that you had to feel for the first notes and the rest would sort of come to you, like a muse? Your thoughts wander back to Rose. The way she looked at you when you waved at her in the morning. How the two of you got along as well as you did. The shimmer in her cherry colored mane that had just a bit too much cute messiness to call it straight.

You whistled clear and crisp three notes into the air, then listened. Nothing.

“Come on… I’m trying for her at least. That’s worth something, right?” you said toward the sky.

Another few notes issued from your lips. Only wind answered. You took one more breath and hummed a full verse, feeling your way through, repeating again bits that felt right to you while discarding parts that didn’t. You paused and listened, only to hear crickets off in the distance. A sigh left you and you leaned back against the post. That was that then...

“That sounded nice.”

You looked up to see Rose standing there, looking like all the life had been drained from her.

“Would it happen to have been the duet song?”

She shook her head. “No—but I liked it,” she said with a faint smile. “It sounded really pretty.”

“Alright then, I’ll uh, see if I can remember what I was singing.”

You felt your way through again, humming a verse here, adding a new chorus this time that you thought might fit. It wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot, but looking at Rose you didn’t want to stop. Her green eyes stared directly into yours and you felt your heart leap when you saw that beautiful light in them coming back a bit. It was faint, like a dim candle at the bottom of it’s wick, but it was there.

His voice sounded beautiful, even now, after knowing he didn't love you.

You’d expended everything tonight—Felt as much pain as your body would let you until nothing seemed to hurt anymore. Tomorrow you’d wake up remembering how it was all over and you may cry, or stay inside all day. But for now, you were by his side, listening to him finally sing. It wasn’t your song, not even close. The one you heard on that first day was so upbeat, so full of joy. Anons felt deeper, slower and more content sounding. The notes weaved in a simple, light-handed way, letting you savor them instead of hitting you with a catchy melody. You don’t think you would have picked a better way to end your night with him. You smiled to yourself as you felt your heartstrings tug. It may be some time before you fully got over him…

Anon paused, letting the last few notes ring in the air. Something in the breeze seemed to stir and a few scattered notes echoed out, as if from miles away. You paused, ears angling toward the sound.

...what?

Your mouth hung open slightly as you listened. Anon continued again, a mirror of the previous melody. The return, slightly altered and barely louder than a breath, met your ears once more. You sang it softly, almost to yourself but loud enough that the both of you could hear in the quiet field. Anon returned it without meaning to, as he kept on with his part of the song.

The both of you stilled and looked each other in the eye. You picked up where he left off, following that faint sound, that instinct that sparked in your chest.

His eyes widened. “Rose, how are you doing that?”

“You can’t hear that…?”

He shook his head. Your heartbeat picked up. “Keep going.”

An open smile spread across your face as his side rang out. You could hear it again, the first duet, but not the way you’d heard it the first day you met Anon. It was a fluid thing, a melody suite that could shift, change tempo for your moods. The song was drowsy when you were sad, upbeat when you felt happy. But it was always recognizable. You couldn’t ever recall it after it came and went but you’d never mistake it, not in a million years.

And now…

The song was changing, notes shifting their tone and tempo, slowing to match Anon’s. You sang back in return as Anon led. He kept on, unsure of his steps but every note he sang you were sure was right, and you were able to keep with him exactly now. Your voices sang in perfect harmony and he slowed to a stop. The song hung in the air, ready to be picked up at any moment.

Anon seemed breathless. Something changed in his expression. He looked at you like seeing someone for the first time and took a step back. You could see his hands trembling but more than that, you could feel him. His heart was pounding, his skin felt hot, and he felt something strange and wonderful welling up in his center.

“Rose… what is this?” he said.

Warm, happy tears streaked down your face and you let out a small laugh.

“I think it’s the start.”