Celestia Telling Anon That She Should Of Became A Queen Instead Of A Princess
by Willight Robinbine
First published
Anon went to a bar and he sees Celestia right there, drunk as fuck and tells Anon that she should of been a queen instead of a princess.
Well read the short description that I put for the long description: Anon went to a bar and he sees Celestia right there, drunk as fuck and tells Anon that she should of been a queen instead of a princess. This story is inspired by the cover art's description and -TGM-'s comment. This is the first second person story that I did, but not on my own idea. Also Anon is you in this story. The story will have fixed grammar and spelling. Read the description of this and -TGM-'s comment to get the story I'm doing. Thanks to Badumsquish on derpibooru for the cover art used for this story. Don't forget to point out the mistakes in the comments below so I can fix them.
Popular on 11/11/2018(Same day as the published date)
Chapter 1: Read The Story Title For The Chapter Title
You just stared at the pony who had said that. At least you were fairly certain she was a pony; she was huge and built quite differently, looking much more equine than the ’ponies’ you were used to. Her features, from her muzzle to her horn and wings, were far larger and more pronounced, and she had a massive rainbow mane that seemed to drift as if it were underwater. You figured by pony standards she would be quite beautiful… if she wasn’t such a complete wreck. She was weaving on the clearly undersized stool, her wings half-erect and wobbly, and her mane draping lifelessly over her shoulder. There were big bags under her dopey eyes, suggesting she had sat here sipping from what appeared to be a bottle of whiskey clutched between her hooves for quite some time. You weren’t sure what to say so you just flashed a sympathetic smile.
"But no!" she said, slurring heavily and struggling to stay awake, "They said girls think queens are mean and old and ugly so they said I hadda be a princess…" she sighed heavily, "they think I’m old… and mean… and… and PINK! They think I’m pink! …And they say horribable things about me… …" she slurred and trailed off into a mumble you couldn’t quite hear.
She was clearly having one hell of a bad day. "But if they made you a princess because queens are old and mean and ugly, that must mean you’re nice and young and beautiful, right?"
She stared with her mouth agape, as if it didn’t even sink in at first, and a faint dopey smile spread across her face. "You’re sweet… c’mere." Her horn lit up a warm yellow and you and your stool were pulled toward her. You tried to fight it but it was like struggling against a strong current that thrust you roughly into her side. "No nononono…" she mumbled, "I’m giving you a winghug… don’t fight it let it happen." She draped her huge wing around you and pressed you against her warm body, and you caught a strong whiff of alcohol on her breath as she leaned in and nuzzled your cheek.
"There there," you said, unsure of what to say as you fought your arm free of her surprisingly strong wing and stroked her shoulder.
"See?" she slurred, "Imma nice pony. I’m nice and soft and warm… You don’t think I’m a tyrant do you? Or a troll or a pervert? I didn’t wanna to send my sister to the moon but I hadda stop her from destroying the world… and I didn’t wanna leave her there for a thousand years… but there was nuthin I could do… You believe me right…? Just say Imma big cute pretty princess who’s doing a good job… I really need that. I’m trying so hard…"
Yikes you thought. Just how absurdly powerful did these ’ponies’ get?!
"I… I just want some comfort," she lamented, cutting you off before you could even answer. "You’re… you’re pretty huggleable…" she said, gently stroking your back with her wing as she spoke, "I gotta few more hours before I gotta be up for work… wanna come to the palace and be my Royal Snuggler… for tonight…? I need a new Royal Snuggler…"
She seemed nice, and it was tempting, but you were too afraid to go with her. You were intimidated by Twilight Sparkle’s scary power, let alone what this pony was capable of. "I’m sorry," you said, hoping you wouldn’t tick her off, "b-but I promised a friend I’d—"
"Say no more," she slurred, putting a hoof to your mouth, "I’m proudda ya, doing what you promised your friend… because Friendship Is Magic. Don’t ever let anyone tell ya utherwise…" With that she rose into the air and vanished in a huge blinding flash of white light.
You just stared at the empty space where she had sat for what felt like an hour and then returned to your drink. You didn’t know who she was, but she must have one hell of a day job, and you hoped it all worked out for her in the end.
Chapter 2: The Next Morning
"Hey, you!" You look up from your work, the pony customer in front of you looking slightly annoyed as you re-directed your attention to the pony guard standing just inside the shop. You’re slightly annoyed that he chose to bug you on one of your busiest days of the week, but you respond anyways.
"What is it?" A mix of curiosity and annoyance blends with your question.
The guard huffed. "Princess Celestia wants a word with you." Your heart stops a little. You’ve heard a lot about princess Celestia since arriving in Equestria, she was basically the ruler. Of everything. Literally everything.
"Um," You look back from the annoyed customer to the guard, and give a confused frown. "Kinda busy…?"
Suddenly, your boss Doughnut Joe bursts form the kitchen and begins taking orders.
"You should go," he says as he frantically begins writing with the pen in his teeth. "You don’t just ignore a summons from the princess." A free day off of work and a meeting with the princess? To any other person this might be one of the greatest days in existence, but you just felt somewhat nervous.
"I-I don’t know, you sure you can handle this on your o-"
"I’m not taking no for an answer." The guard suddenly grasps you with his magic and drags you out of the store as you flail about, past a line of impatient and angry customers.
A good forty minutes pass and you find yourself waiting outside the large ornate doors to the throne room. the guard had left you here and told you to wait while he went inside. You could have taken the opportunity to run, but you were somewhat afraid of the consequences such an action would have on you.
So there you sit, twiddling your thumbs. Until the creak of the large doors open and you take a glance to your side as the white guardspony steps through.
"The princess will see you now." He states in a flat tone as he steps to the side. You gulp, and slowly shuffle inside. That is until the guard got so sick of your slow progression that he basically threw you inside and quickly shut the door behind you.
You land on your face, but immediately shoot to attention. You honestly weren’t sure what to expect, you imagined someone who literally MOVED THE SUN to be a majestic, graceful figure with flames literally leaping off of her. What you saw at the throne in front of you instead was the exact same mare you met at the bar last night.
the exact.
same.
mare.
Several throughts cross your mind at once, the first being guilt. ’She’s going to find out I lied to her about my friend!’ being the most prominent. You follow the most customary and traditional greeting for royalty first, and do a graceful bow.
Or at least it would have been graceful had you not fallen flat on your face.
You look up to see the Princess with a hoof to her mouth, obviously trying to stifle a giggle. "Are you alright?" she asks.
"Fine!" You state and quickly shoot back to your feet. An awkward silence fills the air for another few minutes, until Celestia clears her throat.
"So…about last night."
Oh god. this was it. Was there some law forbidding you from touching loyalty? You would need to hire the best lawyer in all the land to prove that she was the one who did the winghug first! Innocent until proven guilty, damnit!
Her ears splayed backwards and she asked quietly. "You didn’t uh…tell anyone about that, did you?"
Wait.
You’re almost too stunned to respond, but you quietly stammer out, "N-no."
"Good." The princess leaned back and gave a deep sigh. "That was not one of my better days. I must apologize for that."
"It’s fine," you answer, then chuckle. "Most of my thoughts were something along the lines of ’I can’t believe this big, beautiful mare is talking to me’, anyways. Your eyes widened as your realized the words that left your mouth.
Celestia chuckled again. "Oh, really now?" Her eyelids droop slightly, and she’s looking at you with a lidded stare. "Well, I appreciate what you did nonetheless. My emotions got the better of me last night, and that does not…happen often." She sighed.
You sighed in relief. You weren’t in immediate danger of imprisonment, so at the very least you could try talking. "We all have those days every once in a while." You crack a small smile. "Mine was quickly shaping up to be one of those days, but it seems you’ve saved me from that."
Celestia smiled. "Well, I’m happy to return a favor as you did for me last night. Speaking of which though, what did you need to help your friend with last night?"
You freeze up.
How did this mare remember last night so well? She was super-drunk!
"Um…"
"Um…?" she echoes.
"M-moving!" You stammer out. "yeah, he had to move that night, so I had to go help him out with that." You shrug. "It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta help."
A moment of silence passed.
"You didn’t have to help your friend with anything last night, did you?" Celestia asked.
"Er…no." You answered truthfully.
Instead of becoming angry or irritated though, she calmly sipped from a cup of tea she had seated on her throne. "Well, I’ll have you know that the penalty for lying to a princess of Equestria is two days in the dungeon…"
You gulped.
"…or the position of Royal Snuggler. Which just so happens to still be open." Suddenly, you were yanked forward and embraced in another wing hug. "Guess which one you get?"
"Err," You began, but she hushed you with a hoof. "Shhh, say no more, new royal snuggler. Your assistance is needed tonight in my chambers at approximately 9PM…be there?"
You actually couldn’t believe this was happening. You blinked a few times before finally getting a grip on your thoughts and nodded numbly.
"Great!" she embraced you again, and in a flash you found yourself standing near the doors again. "9PM, don’t forget!" She calls after you.
You nod before opening the door and stepping outside. You stood there for a few minutes before a small smile finds its way onto your face.
She wasn’t so bad after all.