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To Err is Equine

by RLYoshi

Chapter 1: 1: No Sense, No Memory, No Fingers

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Mistake
1 - an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.
2 - a misunderstanding or misconception
3 - me


Every brony's dream is to go to Equestria. So when I woke up surrounded by grass, trees, and Poison Joke, confirming my location to be the Everfree Forest, I was quick to dismiss it as just that: a dream. I yawned and tried to go back to sleep.

A roar yanked me back awake, and I glared in the direction of the offending noise. A manticore glared back.

"Go to hell," I grumbled at it before putting my head back down. A large pain across the side forced me up onto all fours, and I rolled a few feet away. Grunting in pain, I tried to cover the spot where I had been hit with a hand to suppress the pain, but I didn't feel my hand. I felt a hoof.

...I've read enough fan fics to see where this is going, I thought in minor annoyance. Had I realized that the events were real and not a dream, I would have been less irritated and more excited. Well, the manticore still wanting to eat me was also a factor in this difference of emotion.

I turned to the overgrown cat and pawed the ground, snorting angrily. The manticore looked nervous that I was suddenly facing it down, but put on a brave face again and roared.

"You call that a roar?" I scoffed. "This is a roar!" I inhaled deeply before shouting "FUS RO DAH!" as loudly as I could. I expected it to not actually work and just confuse the manticore, but instead, it actually blew the sucker back into the forest. He pretty much disappeared, and all I saw was his silhouette getting up and running away, whimpering. I chuckled, electing not to think about it and just assume it was part of the dream.

"Who is out shouting in these woods?" an echoing voice came through the trees. "Show yourself, please, if you could?"

Startled and panicking, I considered hiding from the voice that was obviously Zecora (I've always been kind of shy), but reassuring myself that this was all just a dream made me decide to meet her. I walked towards the voice, moving as though I had always been a pony. It felt normal.

"Right here!" I called casually.


Whoah, hold on. I think I started at the wrong part here. You guys have no idea who I am (unless you're a stalker...or Mobius), yet I'm acting like I've met you all personally. Alright, give me a bit, and I'll tell you about me.

My name? Doesn't matter. My job? None. My skills? Failing. My hobbies? Ponies, ponies, and more ponies.

Okay, now you know all the important stuff about me, so now it's time to find out why I'm in Equestria. The truth? I don't know either. Yet.

I remember my life on Earth easily, except for three days. The three days before I woke up in Equestria. They're nothing but fuzzy, vague memories that dash into my mind, flip me off, and run away before I can catch them. All I know is I was still a human then, but now I'm a...you'll find out.

Being a brony, I knew quite a bit about Equestria, but being a part of the fan fiction community meant I also sometimes couldn't remember what was canon and what was just a bunch of theories. I mean, Derpy is canon, but what about Lyra's human obsession? Many people consider them both canon, but only one is. I often get these mixed up and begin forgetting which is which.

Actually, I tend to forget a lot of things, thanks in part to being autistic and easily distracted. I'm like Pinkie Pie in terms of mental activity. Since the place I lived in on Earth was mainly full of assholes, my weirdness kept me from meshing well with them, and the end result was a lack of friends, a habit of spending my whole life on the computer, and my shy personality that I have around strangers.

I guess there are a few things you should know about me. I'm basically a cross between Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, depending on the situation. Put me near people I know, or leave me alone, and I'll be cheerful, if a bit sarcastic. As soon as I'm near a stranger or someone I don't like, though, I become quiet, reserved, and try to become invisible. This confuses a lot of people, such as when a friend of mine introduces me to their other friends and I go all silent.

And now I'm suddenly telling you my life story. Because I'm sure you care. Why am I in Equestria? Well, at the current time in this story, I don't know. And I don't figure it out for a while. But I eventually do, and trust me, you will too...once I get to that point in the story. But for now, let's skip back to the ponies, since that's what you're here for.


"Right here!" I called casually. I trotted towards Zecora's voice and eventually saw her through the trees. I walked up to her and smiled.

She punched me in the face and backed up several steps.

"Ow! What the hell!" I yelled, grabbing my face with a hoof to suppress the pain.

"Begone, demon of ice and cold!" Zecora yelled, sounding both fearful and angry. "I will not allow your plans to unfold!"

Demon? Cold? Plans? What am I, a snowman – er, snowpony?! "What're you talking about? I'm not gonna do anything!"

"I know of your species' actions in past history! Blatant lies will do nothing to fool me!"

I got mad. "Species? You mean ponies?! I'm not a damn Draconequus!" I stomped the ground and snorted in annoyance. Zecora's face, previously one of rage, suddenly became one of confusion.

"A simple pony you claim to be?" she asked, still sounding a bit distrusting. "Is your real self impossible to see?"

I blinked in confusion. That told her enough, and she relaxed slightly.

"I don't quite know who or what you are...but perhaps I went a bit too far," she admitted. She turned somewhat, as if heading away. "Follow me, please, back to my nook. There, you will see how you actually look."

She trotted away, and I followed. I didn't know what was going on, but by this point, I could tell I likely wasn't dreaming. I wouldn't be feeling pain if I was. Obviously, I was somehow in Equestria – or insane. Probably the latter, though I'd prefer the former.


Zecora's hut looked exactly as it did in the show. Same decorations, same pot, same everything. Still, it was interesting to actually walk into the hut and see it all, as though it was the first time seeing it.

As soon as we entered, Zecora held up a mirror for me to look in. At first glance I just looked like a normal pony, but after carefully examining myself, my jaw dropped.

I was entirely light blue, somewhat darker than Rainbow Dash's coat, and had a constantly flowing mane like Celestia's. My head, though a pony's head, was longer and came with white eyes; no pupils whatsoever. My body carried a ghostly, lightweight feel, as though I could fly just by jumping. I looked exactly like a certain creature from the Hearth's Warming Eve episode.

I was a Windigo.

Granted, I didn't look exactly like a Windigo. I was smaller – about the size of Big Macintosh, if not shorter – and had hind legs, whereas the Windigoes from the show just had a ghostly trail behind the front half of their body. My hooves were also more pony-like, which would explain why I thought I was a normal pony upon feeling them.

"...what the hell?" I said out loud. Zecora was watching, silent, waiting for something to happen. "I'm a Windigo? What kind of bloody joke is this?!" Yes, I say 'bloody' as a cuss substitute. No, I'm not British.

"I can sense genuine surprise in your reaction to your form," Zecora finally spoke after several minutes of me examining myself (not like that). "I can tell you did not come to brew up a storm."

"Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know how," I confessed. I kicked my back hooves on the floor a bit, as if I was testing to see if they were real. "Heck, I don't even know how to fly."

Zecora started to say something, but I didn't hear her. My brain was perforated by a weird feeling, one that muffled all sound, sight, and feeling. Well, I could still hear, see, and feel, but my brain didn't register those senses nearly as much, even if they were still working fine. It was too busy focusing on that strange feeling that seemed to be pulling me...

"...you going?" Zecora's words finally became clear, and I suddenly lost the strange feeling. I blinked and everything returned to normal. I realized I was halfway out the door.

"I...I felt something weird," I explained. "Like it was drawing me towards it..."

"That is the instinct of the Windigo," she responded. "They are lured by hatred to spread lethal snow."

"So...I felt hatred?" I tried to clarify. She nodded. "I don't like this."

Zecora sighed, but it wasn't a sigh of annoyance. Rather, it was one of relief mixed with caring. "Despite your appearance, you are most certainly tame. If you don't mind me asking, what is your name?"

I froze. (Ha ha, froze, ice creature, get it? I hate myself.) I could've given my real name, but considering I was in Equestria, the land of names like Pinkie Pie, Shining Armor, and Scootaloo, something like Max would make me even more out of place. Even if I looked weird, the least I wanted was to blend in right. Having an odd name would make me stand out even more, if that was possible.

Think of something quick...okay, on the Internet, I called myself RLYoshi...can I get anything from that? Yoshi? No...R? Just R? No, that's even worse than Max. Think fast, she's getting suspicious!

"RL," I said suddenly. I paused briefly before pronouncing it differently. "Arrell." Nice job, genius. 'Arrell' isn't even a word...then again, Zecora isn't either, right?

"Arrell...a word that sounds familiar to me..." the zebra said thoughtfully, putting a striped hoof to her chin. What? "Though for now, it may be best to leave that be."

"Uh...sure?" It was more of a question than an agreement.

"Arrell, if you don't mind to say, do you know where you are going to stay?" she continued. I shook my head honestly. She walked over to the door and pointed in a direction. "Head down that path and over the hill. There, you will find a place called Ponyville."

I looked off, down the path. You'd expect my first thought to be something like Oh god, I'm going to Ponyville, but instead it was:

"I don't see a hill." I'm a snarky bastard.

Zecora shrugged. "I did not have time to think up a better rhyme."

"Fair enough." I started leaving, then turned back. "But...what do I do when I get there? Won't they be freaked out by the fact that I'm a Windigo? And I can't just tell them I'm a weird-looking earth pony. With eyes like these, a mane like this, and a blank flank on a grown stallion, they'd see through that like a window."

"Simply tell them the same as you did I," she replied softly. "That you mean them no harm; no reason to lie. I acted on instinct, thinking you a crook, but the ponies know not to judge the cover of the book."

I thought for a moment, eventually deciding she was right, though I was still a bit nervous.

"I guess," I decided, still sounding uncertain. She smiled warmly.

"Do not fret about them turning on you at first sight," she comforted me. "With what has happened lately, they will wait to hear your plight."

'With what has happened lately'? What? ...don't ask, find out later. The ponies will tell you.

I bid Zecora goodbye, thanked her for everything, and promised to come back and visit eventually. I headed off in the direction she pointed me, extremely anxious to get to town, but also worrying about making a good first impression.

The mane six hopefully won't judge me just because I'm a Windigo...they'll base me on my actions, not my looks. And if the other ponies don't like me, the girls will either set them straight, or join them and turn on me. ...whoah, that thought got dark quickly. Think of something else, Max – er, Arrell. Call myself Arrell, gotta remember that. Speaking of Arrell, why did Zecora say that it sounded familiar? Is there somepony here with that name? Is it an actual word? Or maybe she misheard me...wow, my train of thought got seriously derailed there. I shook my head and chuckled. Still...there are a lot of things I don't get yet. Obviously, there's the question as to why I'm in Equestria, but there's also the question of why I'm a Windigo, and not a human or pony. And why am I different from the Windigoes in the show? They didn't have back legs or normal hooves, and I don't think they could do a Fus Ro Dash. Why can I? ...I'll figure it out eventually, I suppose. Once I get accepted into Ponyville, I'll have to find Princess Celestia.

I finally exited the forest and stepped out into the light, seeing the sun shining overhead. Fluttershy's house was a short distance away, but it looked empty. Ponyville itself was also close, so I started heading for the town.

Rule of Human in Equestria stories: they always go to Twilight first. Let's see what happens when I try that.

Next Chapter: 2: Cliché Introductions Estimated time remaining: 6 Hours, 39 Minutes
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