"I'm hoping that, by removing the unnecessary organs, we can instead place new, more efficient and useful ones into the body, thereby creating a more perfect organism," Chitin stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Okay, you're messing up on the fact you're saying 'a more perfect organism'. It can't be more perfect, but closer to be perfect. That'd be like telling me I can be even better than I already am," you corrected the ranting medic in disguise.

"Are you implying that you are the perfect organism?" Chitin asked, not bothering to look at you.

"Abso-fucking-lutely," you replied without skipping a beat.

"You have quite a high opinion of yourself for a creature with such a soft, fleshy outside," Chitin stated, irritating you. Not because he was insulting your soft, fleshy outside, which you were told made you lovably huggable, but because he didn't take the bait you were laying out. You missed Ap, she'd have taken it and amused you for quite some time on that statement alone.

"Well you've got a rather shitty mind for a medic," you tried to retort. Great comeback Anon, seriously, just... just wonderful. Pat yourself on the back. You can't even think of witty insults without Ap. Curse her for having to go through bug second puberty and curse your dick for doing it to her!

You actually got a scoff out of the typically lacking Changeling, who glanced at you out of the corner of Apocrita's violet eyes. "Really Anon? Is that the best you've got? Clearly Apocrita's been lying about your ridiculous, yet oddly loaded wit," he announced, shaking his head in disappointment.

"Yeah, well... wait, Ap's talked to you about me?" you inquired, wondering how she even got the time to do such, since she was always guarding you.

"Indeed, we nest in the same portion of the hive. While I'm not an elite guard, my medical skills are still invaluable. Why, not long before she began her metamorphosis, she was telling me that-" Chitin began to explain, only to go rigid, one foreleg and hind leg both lifted in mid-step, somehow staying perfectly balanced so that he wouldn't fall over.

Quirking a brow, you moved around in front of Chitin, staring at him in equal parts confusion and curiosity. "Chitin? Hello, are you in there?" you asked, even going so far as to lightly knock on his forehead, the minuscule force causing his body to sway a bit before falling completely onto his side. "Well... that's not a good sign," you muttered, nudging him with a foot.

Then, all at once, Chitin jumped to his hooves, turning to face the spot you had been a moment ago. It seemed to take him a moment of looking around fearfully before realizing where you were now. "Anon, we need to move, quickly," he stated with an urgency you'd never seen in him before, one delivered with such high stakes that you were actually worried.

"Chitin, what's going on? What was that?" you asked, even as he bit down on the sleeve of your shirt and dragged you forward.

"Nho dhime, ghatta git tu dha drone vroom," he replied through your fabric, not risking letting go of you for even a moment.

You dug your heels into the floor, finding that Chitin was far weaker than Ap was, and thus easy to stop if you didn't want to go anywhere with him. "Chitin, speak up, or I'm not going anywhere. At this point, I'm pretty much the boss of every Changeling in this hive, Chrysalis excluded... and even that can change based off the power of my Excalibur!" you demanded, yanking your arm away from Chitin, thankfully not tearing the shirt. You liked this one, it had a picture of you on a throne on it.

Looking at you anxiously, his eyes shifting about to see if there was anyone around, Chitin answered "This order supersedes anything you have of me, for it comes from Queen Chrysalis herself." Well, that would certainly explain why he was apparently scared. Given he seemed almost ignorant of her commands before, you were guessing some crazy hive mind bullshit just happened a moment ago, and that's why he became a statue. "There are intruders in the hive and Queen Chrysalis gave two very specific instructions. To find and detain the intruders immediately and, more importantly, bring you to the safety of the throne room," Chitin elaborated.

That was going to be a pain. You two were just in the library, which was located almost half the hive away from the throne room, trying to maintain Chitin's cover by returning some of Ap's checked out books and finding some new ones. Of course, Chitin fucked that up too, as he had checked out a bunch of medical books instead of novels. You were finding more reasons to shit on Chitin, which was usually fine, as having reasons to fuck with your friends was usually your M.O., but this was a matter of life or death.

Sighing, you nodded your head and continued to move on without Chitin's assistance. "Fine, last thing we need is Chrysalis thinking Ap's a poor elite guard for not getting me to safety, otherwise she'd probably replace her... and by her, I mean you," you grumbled, doing your best not to drag your feet for dramatic effect.

"Considering she had sex with the being she was charged to keep safe, which in turn led to her now being cocooned to a ceiling, unable to perform any of her duties, and eventually destined to usurp the queen she was sworn to serve or die trying, I believe Apocrita has been quite the poor guard," Chitin stated, his casual acknowledgement of Ap's shortcomings as an elite guard seemed to help calm him down, while also pissing you off a bit... you were proud of him for that.

The two of you continued toward the throne room, moving as quickly as possible without pushing either of you into a strenuous run. After passing a couple of tunnels, you ended up encountering several other Changelings who joined Chitin in keeping you safe, as per their orders. Not even ten minutes had passed when you had a small entourage of Changelings to defend you. At this point, it felt like the efforts were going to be moot, but who were you to deny having enough guards to make the U.S. President look like a poser?

"There he is! Initiate Phase 3!" a voice cried out as you began to turn one of the corners on the way to the throne room. You and your small collection of guards barely had time to register it when a blur of red and yellow flew forward, barreling through a third of your guard and sending them flying in all directions, one almost hitting you in the head.

"Assume defensive formation, defend Lord Anon!" one of the Changelings hissed, jumping in front of you, only to quickly regret his decision when he was jumped upon by a... yak?

"Puny bug-ponies no match for yak! Yak smash!" the yak shouted, leaping from the unfortunate Changeling who only wanted to defend you to another, the bugs scattering to try and avoid the mass of hair and muscle.

Chitin turned to you, grabbing your sleeve again to drag you away from the growing chaos, when he was struck in the back of the head by an arrow of all things. Initially you were worried that your friend just got murdered by a head shot, but you quickly noticed that the arrow had a bundle at the end of it that prevented it from piercing things... but it did have a lit fuse?

Almost as suddenly as this all started, the bundle exploded into smoke, blinding you and sending you into a coughing fit. As you and some of the Changelings struggled, their coughs apparently more violent than your own, something grabbed you and yanked you away. Your eyes were still burning with the smoke, so you couldn't see what it was that had grabbed you, but you could recognize the motions of something galloping.

"Asset has been secured! Repeat, asset has been secured! Initiate Phase 4!" the same voice that started this shouted near your ear, making you flinch away.

"Let me-kah kahf-down!" you coughed, trying to wiggle free, but finding it difficult with your currently smoke filled lungs.

"No can do sir, I've got strict orders from the princesses to bring you back as soon as possible! My team risked a lot to retrieve you!" the speaker declared. You opened your mouth to say something else about that, but felt the momentum shift as your kidnapper... rescuer, whatever they were, turn a corner... apparently a little too wide, as you felt your head make contact with a wall that made your body went slack and consciousness fade out. Worst. Rescue. Ever.

When you started regaining your consciousness, you felt yourself on what felt like the best bed you've ever been on... which may just because your mattress sucked donkey balls. It was so warm, so soft, so... smelly? Groaning, you rolled to get off of the bed, misjudging the distance to the floor as your feet missed their mark and ended with you landing on your face.

"Ease up soldiers, our boy's awake. Give him a moment to recover," the commanding voice from before declared.

Blinking your sore, but now working eyes, you peeled your face from the floor to look up at the unusual collection before you. As you saw before, there was the yak that had jumped some of the Changelings, although you now noticed he had several braids in his fur that seemed rather ceremonial. From his close proximity, you figured you had been sleeping on top of him. Hovering above the yak was a pegasus stallion with a red coat and a bright yellow mane, the emblem of a sparking lightning bolt as his cutie mark. Stepping into your field of vision beside the yak was a... griffon? Or was it a hippogriff? Curse your Harry Potter lore lacking at a time like this. Regardless, it was a lion-eagle thing that had green fur and feathers.

"How you doing there? We've been told you've suffered a lot," the commanding voice stated, drawing your eyes to a blue earth pony with a red-and-white striped mane and a cutie mark of a circular shield.

"... Captain America?" you questioned, pushing yourself from the floor.

Chuckling, the pony replied "I'm not sure what this 'America' you're speaking of is, but you're half right. I'm Captain Shield of the A-League. The A stands for All, for we include members of all species that wish to defend the rights and justice of those that seek it out." Looking over to the rest of the group, he motioned to them and said "These are just some of my teammates. Flash Point, the fastest pegasus alive, although I hear he has a competitor in Ponyville. Yennifer the Yak, she's one of the strongest creatures I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. And Olivia the Griffon, best archer in Equestria. I wish I could introduce you to the rest of my team, but because of the anti-magic aura surrounding the Changeling hive, we could only afford to bring those whose skills won't be affected."

Looking at the others, you felt... oddly amused and sick. One thing, Yennifer was apparently a female, so you felt sort of bad for judging, but whatever. Two was the fact that, if there was something you knew from your world, it was super heroes. Marvel, DC, whatever. So the fact you were meeting the pony land baby of the two of them was... really disturbing.

"I'm pretty sure I have a concussion right now, cause I don't believe what I'm seeing," you groaned, rising to your feet and rubbing your eyes, trying to get this out of your head.

"I apologize for that. Those Changelings have some much narrower tunnels than even ponies are used to, and carrying a creature your size was definitely not something I had planned for," Captain Shield apologized, bowing his head. "For the time being, I suggest you hop back on Yennifer. We need to keep moving before the Changelings find our exit point."

Looking around, you noticed that you were in a tunnel, but not like those of the Changelings. This was a more recently, and honestly poorly, built one that looked like it was on the verge of collapse anyways. "Where are we?" you asked, trying to get some understanding.

"An escape tunnel. One of our Diamond Dog member helped dig it out while setting it to collapse once we pull the right supports out at the end. I'd hate to collapse it on any living being, even a Changeling, but we needed to make sure they can't follow us, it'd be too risky having you fall back in their hooves," Captain Shield explained, his voice carrying the tone of urgency that indicated you had to keep moving soon, or you'd risk being in further trouble.

"I see... yeah, no, that's not going to happen. I'm heading back," you stated, turning around to walk the opposite direction, only for Flash Point to zip in front of you, blocking your way.

"I think he's right Captain, he does have a concussion," you heard what you assumed to be Olivia say behind you, having already heard the yak talk and knowing she didn't have quite the same level of femininity in her voice.

"I'm afraid you're right. Yennifer, pick him up and keep moving, we don't have much time," Captain commanded.

The moment the yak stepped toward you, you jumped back, bumping into Flash Point. "Now hold on one second. I agree I most certainly have a concussion, but that's not the problem here," you stated, throwing your hands up to try and ward off the yak. "I'm not getting on that yak unless that's a euphemism for fucking her. She'd only be the second hairiest woman I've had sex with."

"Yennifer not mind," the yak growled... or was that supposed to be a sexy purr? Curse you and your irresistible charm to animals.

"Ignoring that, I also can't leave Ap behind," you insisted, earning some confused looks from the wannabe Avengers.

"Who is Ap? Another of their prisoners?" Captain Shield asked, a serious look taking his face.

"Nooo... she was my personal guard," you stated, the concern seeming to flush from the pony's face. "Look, I get you're less concerned about Changelings since they're basically your version of Hydra. I bet they even meet with other disguised Changelings and whisper 'Hail Hive!', but besides the fact you know nothing of what I'm talking about, she's my friend and likely to get murdered if they find her cocoon," you explained, trying really hard to inform them as to how she wasn't a terrorist monster bug-horse, just a friendly monster bug-horse.

"Wait, she's an elite guard in a cocoon? Doesn't that mean she'll become a queen?" Flash Point asked, dashing around so he was now between Captain Shield and Olivia.

"Exactly! So she'll become the new leader if we help her usurp Chrysalis and make the Changelings good, or something, I dunno," you answered, giving two thumbs up and your biggest forced smile.

"Or she'll become an even more terrible threat than Chrysalis is now," Olivia suggested, hardly even considering the idea you had.

"Or not that thing," you argued, switching your thumbs up to flipping the bird to the half-bird bitch.

Stomping his hoof to garner all the attention, Captain Shield announced "Whatever the case, we do not have the time or ponypower to stage a rescue for a cocooned Changeling that may or may not be a threat. When we return to Canterlot, we'll inform the princesses and decide how we'll deal with whichever comes out as leader after their power struggle. If she is kind, I'm sure they'll be willing to open peace talks."

"If Chrysalis finds Ap's cocoon, she'll crack it open and drink her metamorphic fluids like a slurpee, then rage against Canterlot for you freeing me!" you bellowed, glaring at the group of non-powered heroes. "The Justice League would be ashamed of you."

"We're the A-League, not this Justice League you speak of. And that's not something we're going to budge on," Captain Shield stated, some regret in his voice, but the firmness indicating he wasn't going to give up on moving on.

"... fine. Then I'm going back on my own," you stated, turning back toward the tunnel leading to the hive and began walking.

Once more, Flash Point zipped in front of you, placing his hooves on your chest to try and stop you from moving. "Easy there buddy, you head back there now, there's no coming back. We got the drop on the Changelings this time, but they'll be prepared for us. We can't rescue you a second time. You'd basically be giving up on being free from the Changelings," he warned you, his green eyes showing some actual concern that made you hesitate. Fucking super-ponies actually fucking caring that made you not fucking hate them... fuck.

"Well... fuck it, I wasn't going to fit in with ponies anyways," you said, shrugging Flash Point's hooves off before pushing him aside.

"You'd seriously give up your freedom for a Changeling?" Olivia asked, a sort of indignation present in her voice.

Sighing, you paused and looked over your shoulder at the group, saying "Because as corny as this shit is... Ap's important to me, and if I left her now, I really don't think I could live with myself, because myself is all I'd have."

Captain Shield snorted, but gave you a solid grin and nod. "Very well then, I respect your decision. We'll let the princesses know. I hope this won't be the last time we meet," he stated. He motioned to the rest to follow him out of the tunnel, Flash Point joining the others without you even noticing... then you realized something.

"Hey, before you go, is there a batpony member that's called Bat-Mare?" you asked.

There was a light thud in front of you, almost inaudible, drawing your attention to the batpony wearing a mask and saddlebag belt that dropped before you. "How do you know me?"

"Jesus fuck!" you shouted, swinging out instinctively and clocking the mare in the snout.

Author's Notes:

I couldn't resist making a pony superheroes joke thing. If there are any questions on who represents what here, or maybe what some of the other A-Leaguers are like, just ask. I can totally bullshit a few more up. But more important was the fact that Anon had his chance at freedom... and let it go. Stew on that.