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The First Re-Mark

by iowaforever

Chapter 5: "The First Step"

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“The First Step”

Starlight awoke to the sun beaming down in her face. She blinked, trying to pull her covers over her head to shield her eyes from the light, but to no avail. Sighing, Starlight stat up in be, licking her lips as she came back to reality.

“What a dream,” she mumbled, shuffling out of bed. “Good thing it’s passed now, then maybe I can focus again.” She stopped briefly by the bathroom to splash a little water on her face, just enough to freshen up before heading out into town. Double Diamond would probably be along soon to see if the celebration would still be on.

Stable, calm, orderly... although after what she had seen the night before, that felt a lot hollower than she imagined.

She gave another sigh, trudging down the stairs towards the door. A quick talk with Double Diamond, maybe let him know she wasn’t feeling up for the Celebration, then she could get some breakfast and get back to-

“Good morning, Starlight. Did you sleep well?”

Starlight yelped, reeling back as she tried to keep herself from falling the rest of the way. Princess Luna was seated in a chair, a small pile of pancakes and some tea set before her. Princess Luna was sitting in her home, with breakfast.

Last night... that actually happened?!

“I.... Uh...” Starlight stammered, her brain trying to work out a feasible explanation of what she saw.

“Sorry for startling you; you were in such distress last night I thought I would stay and make sure your dreams were no longer troubled.” Luna’s magic enveloped the pancakes and a nearby fork as she passed them to Starlight. “I made you breakfast, if you’re hungry. I admit, my cooking skills are not as refined as my sister’s, but I would like to think they are getting better.”

“I...” Starlight swallowed, some semblance of calm returning. “Thank you, Princess.” Starlight accepted the pancakes and fork, gently prodding the food as she spoke. “Last night... we really did speak, didn’t we?”

“In this case, yes.” Luna nodded. “Sometimes I have merely appeared within my subjects’ dreams, but given how torn you were I felt it best to speak in person.” Starlight’s ears drooped as she pawed nervously at the floor.

“I... I suppose your offer still stands,” she said finally.

“Of course.” Luna said. “But only if you are willing, and after you return the cutie marks of those here.” Starlight fidgeted again.

“They’re going to hate me...” she said. “After all I’ve done, there’s no way they’ll let me go that easily.”

“That is for them to decide, I suppose,” there was a pause before Luna spoke. “Please, eat. You’ll need your strength for the journey ahead.” Starlight nodded, cutting off a piece of pancake and eating quickly. It was a little rubbery, but Starlight still found a happy sigh slipping past her lips as she ate.

“This is great.” she mumbled through a mouthful of pancakes. “This is probably the best thing I’ve eaten in months!” she paused, swallowing as her ears drooped again. “I’m... probably partially responsible for that.”

“Perhaps...” there was another pause before a knock at the door cut through the silence. “It seems the citizens of your town need their leader.

“Oh, right!” Starlight nodded quickly, setting down her food and crossing to the door. She paused short of actually opening it, though; if it was Double Diamond, or any of the citizens of the town, how could see look them in the face and explain what happened? How she had lied to them and stole their cutie marks?

I will never abandon you, Starlight, no matter what happens.

Starlight gave another sigh and cracked the door, peering out until she saw who was standing at her door. “Good morning, Double Diamond.”

“Good morning, Starlight!” Double Diamond said, giving Starlight a cheery smile. A forced smile, she thought, but said nothing more. “Did you sleep well last night?”

“No, not really.” Starlight said. “Had a... a rough night, all things considered.”

“Oh, that’s too bad,” Double Diamond replied, his smile not wavering for an instant. “So, should we get the celebration started back up again?”

“Well...” Starlight started, massaging her leg as she thought up the right words to say. “A-actually, I was thinking we’d call a town meeting first. There’s a few things I would like to discuss before we head out for the day. Oh, and make sure Sugar Belle and Party Favor are there as well.”

“Are you going to see if they’ll want their cutie marks removed?”

“There are a few things I’d like to...” she chewed her lip. “I’d like to clear up first, okay. Just go get everypony together.”

“Sure thing, Starlight!” and with that Double Diamond was off, Starlight closing the door and giving a long sigh.

“This is going to be more difficult than I thought,” she mumbled.

“The first step down the path of redemption is always a difficult one,” Luna said, coming up and resting a hoof on Starlight’s shoulder. “For my own part, it took me many months before I dared step out and speak to anypony besides my sister or my guards, but once I took that first step I found many ponies who were more than happy to have me.”

“I don’t know how many ponies would be willing to help somepony who enslaved an entire village out of fear of rejection.” Starlight countered.

“You have one so far.” Luna gave her a smile. “And the final number may surprise you.” there was a lengthy pause before Luna spoke again. “Are you ready, Starlight?”

“Yes...” Starlight said, nodding. “I-I think I’m ready.” she moved back to the door, taking a deep breath before speaking. “Princess Luna? If it’s no bother, could you wait here until I’ve finished speaking?”

“I will respect that.” Luna nodded before continuing. “But should you need my help, I will not be far away.” Starlight chewed her lip, tentatively reaching out to the door with her magic. It would be easy to back away, to just ask Luna to speak to them and send them on their way: she would be safe, and they would hate her in private.

But... would I heal?

Finally, she opened the door and stepped outside. Double Diamond was there with all the other ponies, a tired looking Sugar Belle and Party Favor standing before the crowd. She paused before forcing a smile back on. “Good morning, everypony.” she said.

“Good morning, Starlight!” the crowd responded, almost in unison save for one or two stragglers. Double Diamond stepped forward, smiling widely.

“I’ve got some good news, Starlight,” he said. “Sounds like Sugar Belle and Party Favor would like to join our community at last!” this received a chorus of cheers from some of the other townsponies, and a couple of weary smiles from the ponies in question. Starlight’s smile slipped as she massaged her leg again.

“Um, yes...” she started. “Well... I have an announcement to make.” the other ponies looked eagerly to her before she spoke again. “I... There will be no Unmarking Ceremony today, or any day going forward for that matter.”

“What?!” Double Diamond asked, his smile dropping quickly as the rest of the community gasped and murmured among themselves. “But Starlight, what will we do to make ponies Equal without the Unmarking Ceremony? Why would you do this?”

“Because it’s what’s right!” Starlight cried, trying to fight her tears again. “Because... because I lied to you all! I still have my cutie mark!” with that she turned her flank to the crowd, electing another gasp from all assembled.

“You... you still have your cutie mark?” one foal asked.

“Yes.” Starlight said, closing her eyes so she would not have to look at them. “I never removed my cutie mark. I just used makeup to give myself a fake one and found a stick to act like a magic staff so you would never suspect I still had my magic.”

“But why would you lie to us?” Double Diamond asked. “You told us all ponies could be Equal if they gave up their cutie marks.”

“I know.” Starlight’s lip quivered. “I-I lied to you because I d-didn’t want to be hurt again. Throughout my life it seemed like ponies would leave me because of their cutie marks, or judging me because of cutie marks, a-a-and I d-didn’t want anypony to leave me again b-because their cutie mark called them elsewhere.” she finally looked back up at the others. “But I realized something last night. It was not my right to deny you all of you special talents, your destinies, your lives, just b-b-because I’d been hurt in the past. I should have tried to heal, made new friends, but I didn’t, and you were the ones who suffered.” there was a pause, all the ponies in the crowd looking to one another before Starlight continued.

“You can go up to the Cutie Vault and get your marks back.” she said, wiping away a tear. “The rock’s rather brittle, so you shouldn’t have too much trouble breaking it. And then, you can do whatever you like. Go live your lives, a-and if you do hate me... th-th-that would be fine. It’s more than I deserve.” she sank down on her haunches, head hanging as she waited for a response. She heard somepony drawing closer, Double Diamond no doubt, and waited for the first volley of insults to arrive.

It never did.

“Starlight,” the Earth Pony said. “I’d wish you’d told us all sooner.”

“I know.” Starlight said. “Go on, say you hate me now. Get it out of your system, and then I’ll leave and you’ll never see me again.”

“Well...” Double Diamond paused, pawing at the ground before speaking. “Well, I don’t hate you, Starlight.”

“Wha...?” Starlight started, looking up at Double Diamond. “But what I did-”

“What you did was wrong, Starlight,” one pony said from the crowd. “Why didn’t you just tell us all this instead of tricking us into giving up our special talents?” there was a murmur of agreement from the crowd, Starlight’s head dropping again. And here it comes.

“Hey now, everypony!” Double Diamond cried, rounding on the others. “Starlight apologized and wants to make things right. Why should we just shut her out when she wants to help? Don’t you all have some things in your life you’ve lied about because you didn’t want to face them?” a few ponies looked nervously to one another as Double Diamond continued. “Maybe Starlight was wrong, and we shouldn’t have to give up our cutie marks to be Equal. But should we be nasty with somepony when they’re wrong?”

“Well... no...” another pony said. “But we can’t just let her leave like this.”

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” Starlight said, springing up to her hooves. “Not just giving you your cutie marks back. I’ll help you rebuild this community, get back in the swing of things, be a real town instead of just a safe place for myself! J-just give me a chance, and I’ll make everything right.” her ears drooped. “Please...?”

There was another pause, the ponies looking to one another for guidance. Starlight’s heart sunk lower with every passing second, the ponies’ uncertainty building upon her own. Surely they’d reject her offer and drive her out of town now, wouldn’t they?

“She is trying to make up for things,” one pony said. “Maybe we should give her a second chance?”

“But what if she just takes our cutie marks again?”

“We can keep an eye on her.” Double Diamond said. “If she’s being honest, nothing bad will happen and we’ll all get our cutie marks back. Let’s get that out of the way, and then we can send Starlight on her way.” more murmuring, most of the ponies looking as though they would accept that reasoning.

The first step on the path of redemption... Luna’s voice echoed through her mind. It was a small step, but perhaps that’s all Starlight needed.

Next Chapter: "Make a Change" Estimated time remaining: 4 Minutes
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