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Fifty Shades of Neigh

by GaPJaxie

Chapter 18: The True Heir to the Throne

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A request by Wild Zontars:

Twilight realizes that the NMM timeline in the Season 5 finale (where NMM successfully handled Tirek, Discord, etc. without the Elements, Rainbow Power, etc, earned the respect and loyalty of some of her friends, and kept Equestria functioning and habitable during Eternal Night) means that Celestia might not be the right mare for the job.

“I had a question,” Twilight said, “if you don’t mind.”

She and Celestia took some time to finish their tea, first. Celestia had another cupcake. It was a beautiful day, and Celestia’s balcony afforded a spectacular view of Canterlot below. “Of course. Go ahead.”

“In the old writings, from before Luna’s banishment, many ponies describe her as clever. She’s the alicorn of sorcery, instructor to astronomers, inventor of the abacus and double-entry bookkeeping.”

“Mmmhmm,” Celestia said.

“And,” Twilight went on. “In the alternate universe where Nightmare Moon prevailed, she dealt with threats to Equestria very effectively. She saw through Chrysalis’s disguise, beheaded Tirek, and put Discord inside a child-proof enclosure so he never escaped. She seemed to be a competent and respected ruler.”

“So you’ve said previously,” Celestia observed. “It was a remarkable journey you went on, truely.”

“Right, but…” Twilight cleared her throat. “If that’s the case, why is Luna so…”

She gestured down in the yard, where Luna had her head stuck between two slats in a fence.

“I mean,” Twilight paused again, “she slept through the changeling invasion.”

“Oh, yes. Actually, that looks rather uncomfortable.” Celestia shouted down into the yard. “Luna! You’re a shapeshifter.”

“Oh, right.” Luna turned into a mouse, escaped the fence, and then turned back into a pony. Flying up the balcony, she shook out her head to clear it. “Well, that is certainly embarrassing. Might I join you for tea?”

“Um… sure.” Twilight made room, and Luna occupied the third spot at the table.

“So, how’s life in Ponyville?” Luna asked as she filled her teacup. Before Twilight could answer, Luna went on: “Celestia, do you have my medication?”

Celestia took out a pill bottle, and emptied two tic-tacs onto Luna’s plate.

“Um…” Twilight paused. “That really looks like… candy. Not medication.”

“Indeed. Tis shameful how modern pharmaceutical manufacturers conceal the nature of their products to turn a profit.” She washed both tic-tacs down with her tea. “Though they are minty.”

“Right.” Twilight sat stiff, a grimace on her face. “Luna, what medication do you take, exactly?”

“Ritalin,” Luna said. “Why?”

“I think Celestia may be—”

“Oh look!” Luna pointed. “A butterfly. I’ll be right back.”

Luna flew off, then had a conversation with a passing pegasus and forgot to come back. Twilight, for her part, finished her tea in silence.

Next Chapter: Practical Methods Estimated time remaining: 15 Minutes
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