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Prince of Errors

by David Silver

Chapter 1: 1 - What Will You Bring?

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His fingers tapped at his phone in a rapid reply. "Stupid Internet Debates," he grunted to himself, letting the phone and his hand slump to his side as he walked. A soft chime had him raising it quickly back into view. "Mm?" A text message from an unknown number.

Would you like to visit Equestria?

He raised a brow at the message. A prank? Advertising? Messaging a random person that would be a strange way to sell anything. Very few of his Internet associates had his number, and they didn't seem like that kind of people...

He shrugged as he wove around the incoming people without actually looking at them. He had no business with them. He jammed out a reply, "Sure, why not?"

The reply came quickly, before he could even lower his phone.

What would you take with you?

He rolled his eyes as he began pressing the buttons in a quick fury, "I don't need anything, except maybe for people to be happy to see me. I want to fit in, and I bet I could."

He cut off quite abruptly. Why was he confessing feelings to a random phone number? A reply arrived without him actually hitting send.

As you wish. Go in the door.

Door? He glanced left and right and saw a rundown building crammed between two skyscrapers. It didn't belong there. It also had no door. It had a doorway, leading into darkness. Everyone else was just walking right past it. He wondered a moment if he was being led to his doom.

On the other hand, if he didn't check it out, he'd wonder about it forever. He diverted across the broken pavement and scraggly grass that led up to the door. Nobody cared. They never did care what he did, unless he got in their way.

Whatever. It was almost certainly a crazy prank, or maybe he'd be pushed up against a wall and they'd take what little he had. Joke's on them if they thought it would be much... With a bit of a smirk, he pushed through the opening and everything went dark.

He next knew that he was crashed to the ground on his belly. He felt sore all over, but seemingly in strange places he couldn't quite place. He put his... hands? down. Those were not hands. He sat up with wide eyes, trying to spread his fingers, but that only resulted in the hooves at the end of his arms wriggling a bit, most of his fingers refusing to respond at all.

He had a hoof, a dull grey hoof. There was slightly lighter shaded fur that ran up from there, some hanging down over the hoof. He focused on his nose, realizing that the thing he'd spent most of his life ignoring had changed. He didn't have a nose, not a human one. He had a big pony snout, covered with the same light-grey fur. "What the hell?" he asked, his voice largely unchanged.

On the other... hoof? He stood up on all four of his hooves and looked back over himself. He had wings. He spread one, then the other, slowly looking them over before a twitch caught his eye. He had a tail too! It swayed more as he gazed at it. "This isn't... all bad, right?" Sure, it'd be hard to text with hooves, but he was a pony. That was... good, right?

His eyes slid towards his rump, looking for a cutie mark, but none appeared to be there. There was a little discoloration in his pelt, like someone had worked some darker grey in there, but it didn't seem to mean anything, or display anything. "Maybe I have to earn it," he spoke to himself as he took a cautious test-step.

"Where am I?" He looked around, only starting to care about the where of things instead of his personal condition. He was in an alleyway, dark and a little stinky. His hooves cooperated with him, and he began to amble in a trot just as he saw countless ponies do in the show. It was just the natural way to walk, and one his new body fell into without too much thought.

He was in a city. Manehattan? Baltimare? He couldn't say, and there were no signs that declared one or the other. On the positive, there were ponies, everywhere. They were clip-clopping around in a rush to whatever business was on their little furry minds.

He smiled brightly at the sight, but it faded almost instantly. Different city, but same problem. None of them had a reason to talk to him, and he didn't know any of them. Just walking up to one and saying 'Hi!' felt like an awkward thing to do. He glanced back at his wings. He could try those?

His wings wouldn't judge him! He spread them both out wide and gave a powerful flap, but didn't rise into the air. They looked as large as the wings of the pegasi he could see already up in the air, so he wasn't a Bulk Biceps or Scootaloo. He ambled forward, breaking into a half gallop as he flapped, hoping a little speed would make the difference.

He crashed right into a stallion that shoved him back. "Watch where yer goin', eh? We're trottin' over here."

He mumbled an apology, quickly scurrying away from where he'd made a fool of himself. That hadn't gone very well. As he walked sullenly, he noticed he was walking past a storefront and he could see his reflection. Rising up above his eyes, he had a horn. He stopped and gawked at it. He was a monochrome alicorn? How? Did that mean he had magic?

He tried to do... something with his horn. He imagined glowing. He imagined picking himself up. He imagined a rock on the sidewalk moving. Beside grunting with effort and waving a hoof at things, nothing happened. His horn was just as useless as his wings had been. "I'm a broken alicorn?"

Despite him looking quite foolish, to himself, all the other ponies ignored him entirely. They didn't even look at him nervously like one might a crazy person. They just passed on by as if he wasn't even there. He didn't like it, and he didn't like being entirely alone.

He'd have to be bold. He moved to cut off a mare about to pass him. "Excuse me?"

"Mm, yeah?" She focused on him, suddenly aware of him. "Whazzup?"

He smiled with relief. He wasn't invisible. "I'm new here and a little lost."

"Tourists." She smiled despite the disparaging tone in her voice. "Where're ya trying to get to?"

He wondered why the pony didn't seem to care about his alicorn state. To test, he spread his wings as he spoke. The ponies around them swerved around the wings, but still didn't seem to care that he was there. "I don't really know. I'm out of bits."

"Yeah? Sucks. You should get a job." She nodded towards him. "Good luck though, eh?"

He let her go, not thinking of too much else to say to her. Get a job? Maybe he'd have to do that. Even pony land needed jobs. Who knew?


A significant amount of time passed. He had started to learn how his new life worked. With that, he walked through the picturesque houses on either side. He wasn't in the city anymore. He also wasn't a stallion at the moment. That happened at times.

He wasn't sure who he was at the moment. On his modified rump was a picture of a picnic basket. Was he supposed to join the festivities? He'd had much worse jobs before, though he wasn't sure how that'd get him any bits. It was starting to get dark, but he was following the voices of ponies towards where they had gathered.

"Ponyville," he said to himself with the voice of a mare. He was a mare, for the moment. He spied the crowd he had heard, all sitting on blankets, on their haunches or bellies, eyes cast skywards expectantly.

He joined them with a smile, sitting down on an empty blanket. He didn't have any snacks, but he was doing his part, he hoped. It was the only time he was allowed to have color, currently an off-cyan and gold. He was still not quite right. He had wings despite feeling certain he was an earth pony. The wings did little.

A sharp whistle caught his attention. Lights trailed behind the sound before it flared out into a brilliant blossom of fire and light. The ponies around him gave an appreciative, 'ooo', and he joined in. Others popped and crackled, a full firework demonstration in effect.

"Nice show, huh?" A cupcake was suddenly thrust in front of his face, dangling at the end of a pink hoof that held it in defiance of logic.

He accepted the muffin with a little noncommittal noise. Wait. He'd been approached without him taking the first move? He dropped the muffin in surprise as he looked to the left at the mare. Pinkie was already diving at him, catching the cupcake before it hit the blanket. "You gotta be more careful."

"O-oh, yeah," he smiled awkwardly. "Uh, hi."

She sat up, offering the muffin anew. "Never saw you here before."

"Yeah..." He accepted the muffin nervously.

"But I've seen that face before." Pinkie bobbed her head.

"Yeah?"

"But you aren't them," concluded Pinkie with a soft finishing nod.

He tensed. Pinkie had seen through him instantly, without even trying! Of course, it was Pinkie. That was the sort of thing she would do...

"What's your name?" she asked as she leaned in, smiling warmly.

"Oh, uh..." He couldn't say his name while he was disguised as a pony with colors and purpose. He tried, and a foreign name spilled from his lips.

"Nope," she replied curtly. "I just said you aren't her." She reached out and booped him right on the nose. "Don't like cupcakes?"

Oh right. He remembered he had one of those balancing awkwardly at the end of his hoof. He leaned in and chomped the frosted top of the treat. Mmm. A real Pinkie cupcake was... even better than he had dared to hope. "It's great." He really meant it, savoring the almost overwhelming tastiness that swept over his modified tongue. "Thank you."

"Now there's a smile," she cried with joy, bouncing in place. "I've done my part. Now, I should get these cupcakes to more ponies, so you enjoy the show, alright?" She grabbed the basket full of more muffins with a snatch of her tail, grabbing it in further defiance of how physics worked. "Oh, hey, there she is."

She pointed off into the crowd and his eyes followed. There she was, the mare he was currently copying. He went still with dread. "Aw sh--" He didn't get to finish his naughty word, collapsing with the sound of snapping bones, pulling ligaments and general misery as he groaned and hoofed feebly at the ground.

Pinkie squeaked with alarm, dropping the basket of muffins, though none of them spilled out despite her sudden motion. "Are you alright?!" He wasn't responding though, rapidly losing color as he grew into his monochrome alicorn self. "Don't worry, I'll help!" She put her hooves on him and hefted his disquietingly warping form into the air, running off with him on two legs as if she were born bipedal.

The town went by in a blurry combination of pain and the speed at which Pinkie traveled. He could only really take anything in when he was slapped down onto a bed, head against a pillow. "Don't worry," spoke Pinkie right beside him. "Nurse Pinkie is here to get you back on your hooves."

She was wearing a nurse outfit, and they seemed to be in a bedroom. When had she put that on?

He gawked at her as the pain echoed through him, fading slowly.

Author's Notes:

Let us begin a new story. This one is for a lovely patron, and will be updated weekly until it is done!

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Next Chapter: 2 - Can You Slow Down? Estimated time remaining: 4 Hours, 59 Minutes
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