A warfan collided with a greatsword and a scythe clashed against an axe. Zeko spun and used his chain to trip the greatsword user, simultaneously blinding a dual sword using Minotaur with a lash from his chains. “MY EYES!” A blast of wind from a fan strike sent him crashing into another Minotaur but Zeko stopped for a second once he saw something that confused him, of course this lead to him having to expend the energy to make an inhumanly fast movement of his fan to block a war hammer.

“All this time I thought Minotaurs were just men but she’s very clearly not... Head out of the udder- GUTTER!” The young adult internally blushed as he grit his teeth to try to forget the image but the chest bindings and armor that the cow was wearing did very little to restrain her massive chest. Zeko swung his gunbai and with a great burst of wind sent another Minotaur out of his way as a medic seemed to help the now blind bladesman.

“Slashing strike!” Zeko fully left his distracted world to parry the oncoming attack but a quick glance around showed him that the few that were knocked down started to get up so he did what came naturally, he spun and knocked his quarry off his hooves then brought the hilt of his scythe into his spine as he fell.

“One down... at least nine to go.” He thought right as the tauress attacked his side with a mace and tore away the side of the now sand figure. Zeko immediately thrust his fan into the ground and flipped onto the hilt right as Sahloknir flew down and grabbed one of the fighters in his talons and carried him into the air while Zeko flung one into the grave of Nakarkos. Without missing a beat he embedded his weapons into the ground and ducked under the attempted strike of one fighter then swept his leg, he quickly grabbed the same leg and swung the Minotaur over his head.

The Minotaur tried to strike Zeko but only had his arm grabbed, unfortunately that was the key the shinobi needed for his attack. “What the- Put me-“

“Down? Your choice.” There’s a saying of using your head but it doesn’t typically involve slamming another living being down onto your neck and snapping their spine in half. “Spinebreaker!” The broken fighter was tossed with all the care of a broken bottle. “Alright I’m low on chakra and there’s still seven left so this is where planning has to-“

*Boom*
*Boom*
*Boom*

The sudden explosions interrupted the monologue and drew Zeko’s attention to Kotetsu flicking the fresh blood off his blade while the tauress laid at his feet. “Problem. Big problem. You need to be back in the next three days.”

The loud flapping of a clay bird moved closer towards the two as the taller Uchiha sheathed his blade. “And everyone’s favorite green haired-“

“Shut up.” Kotetsu flung a pebble at him. “Your ‘parents’ are registering you as missing, and they’re using all the resources they have to make sure you come back by choice or in chains. Weird since I’m pretty sure you’d be a ‘run on sight’ ninja but I’m not the guy in charge of that.”

When the bird was fully empty of any passengers it vanished in a puff of smoke allowing Zeko to see a familiar bright yellow haired girl in the back of the group. “Why’s the banana board here?” He questioned as he picked up his weapons but his words angered the girl in question

“Shut up! I’m not the one in gay horse-land prancing around in flowers!”

“Better than being flat in the end, on top of that you’re kinda useless overall.” At this Kotetsu held up a hand to signify he had input.

“Hold on. Don’t judge her for being flat, tits are tits my friend.” If one listened closely they’d hear the bones in Zeko’s neck crack as his head turned violently towards the heresy in question.

“Excuse you?! The only types of boobs that matter-“ He kicked the tauress to emphasize his point. “Are big ones.”

The two glared at each other harshly until Kotetsu spoke up. “Stop trying to put your mommy issues onto me cause you only like big boobs. Flat ones are fine!” He coated his sword in electricity as he stated this but his cousin only scoffed

“How about you quit hiding the fact that you’re a closet pedophile? Flat chests are a trait of little girls so if you like that then you like little girls.”

Nouka tried to speak his mind on the matter. “Guys you shouldn’t objectify women, the personality is what matters the most.” Of course his arguing associates stopped to look at him in unison to demonstrate that they disagreed with his belief. And they continued their back and forth for a few minutes while their friends only stared at them until their green haired comrade decided to mediate.

“Guys we’re wasting time, let’s just agree on thighs saving lives.” Again the Uchiha cousins stared but this time they shrugged and nodded.

“That all aside, you’re telling me I have to come back or be a missing ninja? Just what I needed at this point in time.” He thought as he looked the group over again. “Seriously though why is Kizura here?”

The yellow haired kunoichi crossed her arms over her beige jacket and smirked. “If you must know it’s because I was put in the group of shinobi that know you close enough to bring you home.”

Nouka spoke up next. “I could tell that some things went wrong so I let your parents know!” He stopped himself for a moment to process his own words and facepalmed when he came to the realization. “It’s my fault it’s crunch time isn’t it?”

The sand ninja rolled his shoulder as he looked back towards the massive pit he recently emerged from, his gaze focused into the massive cavern of death as his cousin approached him. “I can tell that thing wasn’t at its best... a juvenile maybe?”

“What’s in the cavern of cadavers that’s got your panties bunched?” Kotetsu crudely asked to Zeko’s confusion

“Can you not see the dead giant black octopus? We’re Uchiha, sight is kinda our thing.”

The taller of the two only shook his head before glancing back at the trio, bickering over something new he assumed. “I think I’m suffering from the loss of eyesight, the one you won’t have to worry about since you just skipped up to the Rinnegan.” The white haired shinobi nodded in response but Kotetsu wasn’t done. “Using my Susano’o was the start, now things are just slightly blurred and the darkness down there doesn’t help.”

Zeko pondered and came to a realization. “The only way to lose the blindness is to use your sibling’s eyes... but you’re an only child.” Kotetsu crossed his arms and closed his eyes as to show his understanding but Zeko had a moment of clarity that could’ve given a partial solution. “What about Shiro?”

“Excuse you?”

“Shiro has your original eye, and you implanted your copy’s. If you use the eye you gave her then you’d at least cure your blindness for good in one eye.” Before the older Uchiha could respond the familiar sound of a head being hit brought the pair to look at their Byakugan user rubbing his scalp with a furious Kizura beside him.

Kotetsu sighed as he walked closer to the pair. “Ladies, ladies.... neither of you are pretty.”

“That’s why she hit him, he said she didn’t have the thighs to save his life.” Nouka chirped but only got the exact same treatment as his fellow leaf ninja, that being a strike on the head while a tick mark only grew larger on Kizura’s head

“I didn’t come here just for you idiots to judge my body! I’m here because two is better than one!” Nouka, Jenki, and even Kotetsu froze at those words which were nearly shouted all the while a sound like shattering glass could be faintly heard. Zeko turned around with a small smile on his face, eyes closed childishly.

“I didn’t quite catch that? You said what was better than what?”

Kizura’s teeth sharpened as her fists clenched harder. “We both know if you didn’t have that stupid eye I’d be way stro-“

“Last I checked...” Zeko interrupted, his innocent appearance not breaking. “When we went all out against each other I didn’t use my Rinnegan, no I recall breaking your arms with regular nin-taijutsu. But let’s not dwell on the past, let’s get back to my temporary house.” Zeko leapt into the air and caught the tail of Sahloknir while his friends looked on in surprise.

“Is that a dragon?!” Jenki yelled aloud but his friends were equally quiet as they watched the large beast soar ahead, only starting to move when another clay bird formed before them

“I’ll ask once more, why have you come to my forest to do such harm?” The matron of the Everfree has multiple Minotaurs, Griffons, a changeling and even a few ponies caught by vines and brambles. The more gruesome sight was what had happened to the ones she saw as more dangerous due to their bottles of combustible oil, the spatters of blood and organs from jagged roots and briars did the surviving fighters no good in holding control of their situation.

“You’re nothing compared to us you pile of twigs, when we have-“ Vines elongated and covered the mouth of the defiant mare while the stallion next to her only smirked.

“We knew about the cycle, we had orders to make sure you couldn’t stop the cleanser before he could-“ His words turned to pained gurgles as a vine coated in brambles dragged across his throat slowly and painfully.

“You know not of the powers at work fool. The rising of Apoxis would mean the death of this world!” Her vines gripped tighter around the remainder of the assassins. “The powers that be are more than mere mortals could understand. But it’s good that this has decided to happen now, putting the ancient one back will be child’s play with-“ The draconic roar told Ano everything she needed to know at that moment and at that point she’d gotten all the information she needed and decided to raise and close her hand which caused the vines to tighten to the point where sickening squelches came from their prisoners. “You need not be seen,be food for my forest.” The cadavers were swallowed by the earth itself to feed the vegetation of the forest as a number of shinobi landed nearby.

Zeko broke the tree line first and saw the spirit ahead of him. “Weird, smells like blood around here.” Nouka was behind Zeko and saw the forest spirit ahead of them

“Hey forest lady!” He beamed happily you the confusion of the yellow haired kunoichi behind him, who quickly saw the being in particular and regarded it as something she’d be told if it were important enough. The group almost started their usual joking around but they were interrupted by Ano

“Zeko.” Ano’s tone was serious, an unfamiliar moment to the resident of her forests but he quickly shifted his attention to her. “Apoxis will rise soon won’t he? I cannot allow such an evil to return for long.” Zeko was confused but remained silent since he could detect an explanation coming. “I have seen the destruction and rebirth of this world many times over but I’ve managed to stop the cycle of disharmony by besting Apoxis where and whenever he rose for nearly five millennia.”

Kotetsu raised his hand respectfully to interrupt which only made his friends look at him with a mixture of worry and genuine confusion. “How the hell have you been alive for so long?” Jenki held back his laughter while Kizura facepalmed. Nouka and Zeko however looked as if they had the same question to ask.

Ano herself smiled at the question before deciding to answer. “Well crude child I am not limited to the mortal world like yourselves, I don’t only exist here physically but spiritually I have existed as long as this world. I counter the mindless destruction that Apoxis stands for. But that’s not all... This is not the only Equestria I exist in but it is the only one where Apoxis exists, so I decided to place most of my consciousness here.”

There was a deafening silence upon the revelation, but before any of the shinobi could make any comments an explosion echoed through the forest. “That’s-“ Zeko vanished in a white streak.

“Wait what? Where’d he go?” Nouka looked around to find his friend but much like most of the others they couldn’t find him.

Kizura closed her eyes and immediately opened them to see a deep purple colored pillar of flowing chakra half a kilometer away. “He’s mad... no not even mad... Zeko’s furious.” The group immediately leapt to the clay bird that formed and headed towards the disturbance, noticing that as they got closer the atmosphere itself was getting heavier to the point where they began to struggle with breathing

Veins appeared around Jenki’s eyes allowing him to see what was going on as they closed in on the location. “What’s he fighting?” Kotetsu asked but Jenki’s wide, pupil-less eyes almost seemed to get wider at what he saw

“I wouldn’t call it a fight, cause that looks like an execution!” He almost yelled as they were all reaching view of the small desert and the massacre that was taking place.

Zeko himself was, literally, tearing through the mixture of Minotaur and griffin fighters that stood in the way of his partially destroyed house that was still burning, glass shards littering the ground. Two Minotaur ran at Zeko with their blades at their sides but they were both grabbed by the neck and slammed onto the newly formed spikes of sand beneath them. “Calm down now youngling! You don’t want to start burning up like your friends...” A sole Minotaur was standing in front of the smoldering house, silver war paint lining his bare chest. Zeko quickly marked him as the leader and stopped moving entirely after slicing through a throat with his bare hand. “There you go, be calm and we can make this quick and easy. We just need those eyes of yours so let this be simple for everyone here.” He held his hand out to Zeko as the remaining fighters surrounded him from every other side, save for directly ahead of him.

The clay bird started to descend, Kizura leapt off and weaved her hand seals quickly. “Fire style: Sapphire Blaze!” A blue ball of fire with black accents coursed straight towards the assassins surrounding Zeko as a dome of sand quickly surrounded him, protecting him from the flames that scorched the fighters too quickly in the white haired teen’s opinion for that moment.

“Well it looks like they couldn’t handle the heat, but I’ll let you know now-“ The rest of the shinobi were moving closer but Zeko raised a hand to signal them to move back. “My body is stronger than iron, you can’t hurt me boy. But you would know who I am by-“

“I don’t care.” The Minotaur blinked twice but didn’t get the chance to speak. “I don’t care how strong you think you are... you’re nothing compared to me...” As Zeko spoke black powder gathered by his right hand making Kotetsu’s eyes widen, he silently urged the other shinobi to back away as the mass grew into a pole-esque object. “My friends and I have fought stronger things than you... I’ve killed stronger shinobi than you... I’ve seen what happens in war and I gotta say that a cow with two legs doesn’t impress me in a world where the dominant race is walking talking horse people.” The pole started to gain a sharpened tip

“They May be the largest race in number but-“ Zeko burst into a full ninja sprint with the now formed triple tipped pike made of a black dust that followed him as he rushed towards his sole enemy, more powder being pulled from the sand as he runs. “I told you boy you won’t be able to break my- Urk!” The pike was stabbed into the minotaur’s stomach. Zeko’s expression remained unchanged as he started to lift the weapon and subsequently the impaled bull and slammed him back to the ground knees first. He clawed at the pike desperately to remove it from his body but he was done the minor favor of Zeko ripping it from his flesh quickly and without mercy. He stabbed it into the sand around him and grabbed the left horn of his victim.

“Does it hurt to have these removed?” A pair of eyes widened as a sick crunching noise reverberated through the desert and a Minotaur was down a horn. “I’m surprised, you have yet to scream from this.”

Through clenched teeth and an angered expression the Minotaur managed to speak. “I won’t give you the satisfaction of showing I’m hurt or afraid, with my death comes the unsealing ritual... So I’m content that my soul will be at peace upon my death.” The Minotaur would have smiled but internally was disturbed and even felt a pang of fear go through his heart once Zeko himself smiled.

“Heh... Heh heh heh. HA ha ha. You said you wanted my eyes before right?” A hand grasped the side of Steel Pell’s head, as Zeko’s eyes shifted to their ringed form. “I can tell you one thing and it’s that you won’t be resting peacefully. But because I’m not completely evil I’ll give you these few seconds to cherish the pain you’re in and my smile because they are so much better than the void that’s waiting for you. Silence now...” He started to pull his left hand away with Steel’s soul in tow. “Existence is past you!” Zeko grasped the soul with both hands and shattered it like glass under a hammer.

“I don’t know what to say... Kotetsu has- Have you ever seen him like that?” Jenki asked as his eyes returned to their normal state.

The dark haired Uchiha made no movements as Zeko walked to his still warm house and fell to his knees. Kotetsu walked up to his cousin and sat down beside him. “It happened again... I promised to protect someone and it happened AGAIN!” The desert came to life, swallowing the corpses littered around it into the ground, leaving only the black pike standing above the sand. Kotetsu rested a hand on his cousin’s shoulder as a single tear went down Zeko’s face.

The other shinobi approached the two and knelt or sat behind the Uchiha pair. They all sat there silently, quickly following what their friend was experiencing. Jenki stood up first and walked to what remained of the door and took a small vial of water from his pocket and sat it down at the doorstep. Nouka followed and pulled a glob of clay that he deftly formed into a rose and sat it next to the vial. Kizura pulled a kunai from her tool pouch and embedded it beside the white rose. Kotetsu got up and went to the pike that stood in the sand, he grabbed it and laid it in front of the other items. Zeko himself stood up and placed a letter underneath the pike. “I know I’m the bonehead bomber but I think I speak for all of us when I say that this was an attack on our friend and we won’t let that happen right?” Nouka flinched ready for judgement but a tap on his forehead revealed Kotetsu with a smile on his face.

“He’s right cousin... so what’s the plan from here?”

Zeko crosses his arms and let his eyes return to normal. “How long until your wedding?”

“That’s why your parents want you back, it’s in a week and you have to be there cause of political reasons.”

Zeko closed his eyes. “I’ll make sure that your wedding will go well, a bit of justice will be served and I’ll put them through hell.” He managed to smile and rap to his enjoyment, he put his fist out to Jenki. “My rapping partner I hope you’re ready for a duo!”

“They don’t know what’s about to hit them hard Zeko! These shinobi are gonna give em a show!” He bumped his fist to his friend’s

“They’re about to experience a one day war Dattebayō!” Zeko finished as his friends smiled at his proclamation, they knew that they would have to fight when they came to retrieve him but seeing how one of their friends was wronged only strengthened their resolve as a group. “Despite not having everyone here, we ain’t gonna let them escape from fear.” Zeko paused for a moment once a few words were processed. “Wait how long was I in that cave? I need to eat! But first my group of friends let’s go get some food, I’d prefer if it was ramen.”

“Good to know that my cousin really didn’t get soft on me. Let’s grab something to eat before we rain hellfire down on these fools.” Zeko leapt into the forest towards the nearest town, Nouka’s bird appeared again and the others started piling on. “If only these fake assassins knew what was coming to them... It’s been three years since I saw him use iron sand and oh boy are these guilds fucked.”

Author's Notes:

Sorry it took so long, a black cat crossed my path...