It had been a quiet day for Cadance and Shining, and it only grew quieter after the opening ceremony.

Seeing Fluttershy and Rarity constantly hanging over Cerb and the few kisses they had exchanged during the party should have left Cadance feeling happy. Perhaps in some way it did, the love emanating from the three gave off such a pleasant vibe.

Now that Cadance was back in the castle with Shining in their room, they had some time to catch up. Most of which had been explained by Shining retelling of all the events she had missed since returning home.

After the party, there was more to go over as they sat next to each other on their bed. Certainly more to expand upon from the overview they had earlier that day.

“So… yeah. She went through all that just to think she lost him for good last night, only to turn around and start dating him because Oven Fresh-” He paused, trying to remember if he had been told what the reason was. “I don’t fully understand why, actually. But still, my little sis is dating Sniff, who’s also dating the town baker. And don’t even get me started on that Chris guy and his group of special someponies. I still can’t believe I’m actually saying that with a straight face.”

There was so much Cadance had to digest. It was unreal to think about how much she had missed in only a few days.

“What do you think about Justin with Fluttershy and Rarity?”

Shining almost rolled his eyes, but stopped himself to avoid a possible glare from his wife.

“I… kind of just want to give him a pass on that. He saved Spike’s life, and before that, he and Benny have shown us so much about how they do military planning and tactics. Plus, with the hidden shadows lurking in the dark, I’d rather see those three together to keep each other safe than to have them apart.”

Still a little caught up with taking everything in, Cadance softly nodded.

“Yes… I suppose that would be best. Justin may be happy with them, and they certainly will take good care of him, he still has so much darkness he’s dealing with. He’ll need their support to get better. But… I noticed that Becky, she… she doesn’t have a special somep-”

“Cadance,” Shining nuzzled under her chin. “I told you, it’s fine. Besides, I think Becky was right about how bad it would be if anypony thought this became something romantic. She's a good friend, and we need those, especially now."

He pulled back to comfort her by rubbing over her chest.

"You know you can always just ask them to at least tell you about that physical love you felt?"

Still lost in her thoughts, Cadance nodded again absentmindedly.

"I know, but I want it. I want to feel that again. I want to learn it so I can have that with you. Everypony should feel what we felt, what only Cerb and his friends can share. And it’s been tearing me up inside.”

She fell back on the bed, sprawling out and bringing her forehooves down to her crotch.

“Shining… I don’t know what’s happening with me. Ever since I tried using my magic on Justin and felt his pain covering the kind of love he has buried deep inside, I’ve been drawn to him. The dance we shared, our time in the pool, the talk he had, and rubbing his back. I feel… different… Hot and excited. I can’t stop my mind from shifting back and forth between him and you.”

This was starting to sound completely unlike Cadance. They’d been over their mutually conflicting thoughts and attractions towards Becky and Cerb, but her fixation on them left Shining more than a bit concerned.

“Cadance, honey. Maybe we sho-Woah!”

Too slow to react, Shining found himself thrown into the center of the bed, pinned under his wife. Typically, this would have been fun, but there was a hunger in her eyes that was uncharacteristically divergent from her usual loving gaze. Not even Queen Chrysalis had such a hunger for love in her eyes, which even in this state he could still see the irony in..

“Honey… you’re scaring me a lit-”

Getting cut off again, Shining was attacked with a kiss from Cadance like she was a starving changeling. She was breathing hard, huffing and puffing desperately to have him return her affection with the same intensity.

It wasn’t like Shining wasn’t trying, but the way she was grinding on his groin was confusingly pleasant yet… uncomfortable?

They continued their fevered embrace, feeling out each other's movements, though it felt like the kissing and grinding were both distracting them from enjoying either. Then, disappointingly, it ended with Cadance throwing her head back, eyes and teeth clenched.

“Ffffffffffffffffffuck! Gah… It’s just like back home. That physical love. It’s like I know it’s there, gnawing at the back of my brain. Screaming at my body to find Cerb and have that dance with him all over again, or pull him back into the hot tub or his bed and-”

She lowered her eyes with a mixed expression that was hard to pin down. The only thing clear was that she was silently suffering from something.

“I want him to touch me… hold me… just like we are now.”

Her thoughts were a maelstrom of wickedness, having evolved over the days to more than just the dance. The way his hands felt on her in the hot tub had awakened new, vivid, loving feelings she thought only her magic could produce, only his were physical.

Everything they did for her was deep and penetrated so much delight to everything he touched. Even forcing herself farther against him, trying to feel more of the skin of his thighs against her flanks only got better the more she pressed against his crotch.

She had hoped to recapture some of those sensations, returning the favor of a massage in his room that same night. After a profound eye-opening discussion of love, she found herself comfortable, if not tempted to see if she could recreate some of those pleasant feelings from dancing or while in the hot tub. However, only the feeling of skin against her hooves yielded any results. Something as simple as Twilight’s towel that he covered himself in gave her nothing. Odd that his undergarments had not done the same, but it had not removed her memory of how he felt against her, nor the desire to feel it again.

It was only now that she felt compelled to confess how she felt about them.

“These thoughts grow so intense that I feel like there’s something frighteningly wonderful inside that’s about to explode. But it never does. It’s as if the fuse was left smoldering, and I’m waiting for Justin to reignite it. I think about him and when I think the fuse is finally lit..”

She brought her eyes up to see his. Both of them a little frightened at what she was saying, though Cadance was looking as if she had somehow wounded her loving husband.

“And that’s when everything changes back to you. You holding me, touching me… making me feel loved and beautiful.”

Still fighting with herself, she slowly dismounted his lap and laid next to him, staring up at the ceiling.

“I’ve tried to recreate that feeling I had with him over and over again. Nothing works… I’ve tried a library's worth of spells, enchanting items… paid three-hundred bits for a dance instructor to try and learn the dance moves… That failed the most miserably.”

Lacking any clarity, Shining shot her a concerned as well as curious look.

“How miserably?”

Cadance rolled her eyes, grumbling frustratingly.

“The jerk claimed to have forgotten all the dance moves the next day. Said he remembered me coming in and paying him for the lesson, but didn’t remember us actually going over it… but that he remembered I left feeling I was satisfied with the lesson? Which I wasn’t. I felt nothing from the dance with him.”

Her frustration reached a breaking point, only to grow further into depression.

“What am I doing wrong? I’m the freaking Princess of Love… and I’m going crazy trying to figure this out. I’m supposed to help ponies, help any creature in need when it comes to matters of the heart, yet… I don’t know if Justin actually needs my help anymore."

Something was wrong with Cadance, and Shining knew her well enough to tell. They had faced so many issues before. Changeling invasions, King Sombra, Tirek, losing the Crystal Heart, and potentially their kingdom had all brought about a deep fear for those she was entrusted to protect. But then there were brief moments when the air of magic around would fade and old pains of the past, concerns for the future, or even her uncertainty for the here and now would leave her to doubt herself and dip back into moments of sorrow. Now, looking at the misery in his wife's eyes, he could tell she was lying to herself… lying to him.

Lying to him wasn’t something she was good at, he’d known her long enough for that to be clear, and neither was it something she would typically attempt. Even now, he could see she hated herself for it.

"Does he, though?"

Cadance had given her best attempt to distance herself from Cerb, but she likely would have talked herself back into her agreement with him eventually. Even if she had selfish thoughts in mind, she knew she had to help him.

In a moment of desperation, she turned to Shining.

"He had a friend die in his arms, lost his brother and mother the same day, then came home to his father abandoning him. He…"

Disgusted with herself, she turned away into the fetal position.

"He's suffered so much. Finding a special somepony doesn't just take away the pain of losing your loved ones when you have no closure."

Finally, Shining saw where this was going. More accurately, where it was coming from to have her so emotionally invested.

"Cadance, I know it still bothers you about your family. Do you think helping Cerb with his problems will help you with yours?"

Without facing him, she mournfully answered.

"Justin's father walked away when he needed him the most and never came back. Not even after nearly dying in his war. My parents? Whoever they are… wouldn't even reach out to me when I was crowned a princess, married you, or when we had Flurry Heart."

Somehow, over the years, as much as she tried to block it out and focus on the positive things in life, that hurt and betrayal never left. It was a scar that would likely never truly heal.

"How could a pony not love their own daughter so much that they wouldn't even try to get some kind of compensation or notoriety of being related to royalty? For crying out loud, Celestia had to adopt me as her niece because I was terrified it would prevent my parents from wanting to find me.”

Just as quickly as she started her tangent of rejection and abandonment, other old wounds started to reopen.

“Were they a pegasus like me? What did they look like? Was I lost? Abandoned? Was it to save me? Am I really thirty-five? Did I have a name before the villagers found me? So... yes. There is that, but… I shouldn’t feel like I need to comfort him like you did for me."

Was that it? Could her desire for closure be so strong that she was forcing herself on Cerb to help him find his? Would that comfort help release all that love he keeps buried? Was the love itself drawing her towards him?

Why was it she could say yes to every question, believe it, and still feel like she was lying to herself when all she wanted was to feel Cerb against her again?

There was no answer she could find on her own. She had to solve this conundrum, and only one fair option lay in front of her. So, defeated, she turned back to Shining again, looking a little empty inside.

"Have you thought more about what you wanted to do with Becky? Would you want her to touch you, hold you, kiss you as I do?"

To be asked such a question, Shining flared his nostrils, but could already feel a blush setting in.

"I… didn't think about the kissing until I saw Kelly kiss Big Mac."

Pouring out all her empathy, she nuzzled in closer and gently pressed her lips to his. With such a strong love between them, she felt safe to be weak with him, even when the phantom hands of her dance partner were imagined over her hips.

Lying down comfortably, her pillow was the warrior’s cheek again. Pulling Shining tightly against her, his chest was Cerb’s. Wrapping her legs around Shining’s left thigh became the one she felt on the dance floor.

In reality, the hands were only phantoms. The soft skin of Cerb’s face was only her pillow. Shining’s thighs were completely unlike a human’s. They were all memories as distant as they were vivid and as tempting as the scent of citrus and spices drifting off with the faintest trace of sea salt.

But if she was going to be selfish and weak, she had no right to be the only one, even if she knew they both should stop.

"I know Justin needs my help, even with his two special someponies. Becky will need your protection when Rainbow Dash is training with the Wonderbolts. We're both obligated to help them, but what if one of us does end up falling for them? Shining… our duties to serve can't be worth risking our marriage."

Desperate, Shining tried to think of a resolution to their situation.

“What am I supposed to do? I know how badly she wants to feel this again. I want it too, but we don’t know what we’re doing. I’m letting Cadance down by not… Oh, yeah. That’s right. I don’t know what I’m doing. But maybe Becky and I can dance again just as friends. Then maybe I could even get a kiss. Friends kiss each other. Right? Oh… yeah… don’t really have any of those, least not since high school. That’s why I like Becky so much. We’re just friends. It’s not like my emotions are going to change where I fall in love with her.”

And just like that, Shining had an epiphany.

"What if it's only that physical love you spoke of?"

Not looking even partially persuaded, Cadance rolled her eyes. Being close and dancing to the music was one thing, but having Cerb in bed with her like Shining had become where her thoughts had led her. She even admitted as much and Shining knew that. She couldn’t expect him to let that fly.

"So you'd be okay with me kissing Justin in his bed like this?" She scoffed, refusing to believe he was even entertaining such an idea.

Perhaps it was pity for his wife's mental anguish, or maybe it was him being selfish, but he had the perfect counter-question.

"Would you be okay with me kissing Becky like that if it meant you could kiss Cerb the same way, but we still loved each other?"

Was that a serious proposal? Because if she was following this conversation correctly, what he was proposing would be preposterous.

"Shining, sweetie. Are you suggesting that we allow each other to cheat physically, but not emotionally, are you?"

With little thought of the consequences, Shining smirked.

"That doesn’t sound nearly as innocent as the way I said it."

As those words left his mouth, Cadance found herself touched, disgusted, angry, yet somewhat happy with Shining’s openness.

"Shining, I still don't know. Even if I was given a chance and understood what this physical love was, and Celestia knows I would enjoy it, what would it matter if I still only want to be with you?"

Knowing she was still worried about his feelings, Shining couldn't help but have even more faith in what she would do if such an opportunity ever presented itself. Not to mention, she essentially answered her own question.

"If it makes you happy and can bring us closer together in the end, then I'm willing to share this adventure with you."

At that moment, Cadance remembered why she loved her stallion.

"Come here, you, you handsome devil."

They shared one last kiss, deep and lovingly passionate, then settled in for the night.

As they drew closer to sleep, Shining had one last thing to share.

"Cerb is devoted to his special someponies, and Becky only wants to be friends. Whatever happens, I know it will only bring us all closer together.”

Cadance gave a muffled giggle and turned over under the covers.

"I hope you're right, sweetie."

On both sides of the bed, their lights were extinguished, and Shining’s thoughts of touring his Empire with Becky left him giddy with thoughts of the fun times they would share. There were shows to see, concerts to listen to, even a safe section of Mount Everhoof that was great for retreats, with natural hot springs. It would be a great place to take Becky. Maybe the crisp, clean air would be easier on her lungs. Then at night, they could cuddle up together… share a private dance, give massages in the hot springs, share a friendly kiss even?

Even if they were silly fantasies, they were happy ones. Perhaps things that could be enjoyed with Cadance there as well.

Wouldn't that be a treat? The physical love of a human and the love of his life together. Beautiful thoughts to think as he drifted off to sleep.

Next to him, Cadance laid on her left side, waiting for Shining to fall asleep. When the sounds of his rhythmic breaths began, she shifted her right wing under the covers only far enough to let five of her wingtips grip over her hip. Try as she might, she could not recreate that feeling of bone and flesh of a human's hand, let alone match the strength of Cerb’s hold on her as they danced.

There was no warmth or depth, and for as much as the memory excited her, it was as futile as having Shining attempt to satiate her body's demands. Even still, the memory was there. With it, she traced a hoof down between her legs, feeling over the delicate, bald skin most tantalized during her brief moments of gyrating and moving together to the music with Cerb.

Deep inside, something beckoned for contact. From her knees to her throat, everything from her skin to her core, tingled and stirred up, but only faintly. Her ears snapped, and tail twitched, yet no matter where her hooves reached or the deplorable places she explored, a dull numbness mocked her every attempt to return even a fraction of what she felt with Cerb.

As much as she wanted to have Shining be the one to remove this private torment she found herself in, her thoughts all returned to Cerb.

The frustration grew along with the vivid images in her mind of dancing with him in only his undergarments, pressing herself against him even harder as he felt her over, having him under her and showering him with all the physical affection she forced onto Shining. The drive to feel him again escalated to the point she was pressing so hard into her groan that it hurt.

Mentally, emotionally, she was already attached to Cerb. Everything about him was attractive, and she wanted him where she was only now removing her hoof, feeling revolted with her disgusting desires.

Why was she like this? It was only five days ago she met him for the first time at the welcome party. He was shaken when they met and was slow to trust her, no matter how well her soft push allowed her to get closer. It was almost as if the closer he let her get to him, the stronger he built up his core defenses. Getting closer with Fluttershy and Rarity only complicated things with new barriers she had to navigate.

She was tormenting herself with her thoughts, trying to stop from throwing a fit.

“I can’t get rid of this… feeling. I don’t know what it is, but it won’t go away. It only gets better when I’m with Justin, but… I don't know what I’m supposed to do. The train ride home was so uncomfortable. The whole next day, all I could was think about this stupid, wonderful feeling."

She thought back to how she ran through all her responsibilities just to rush her library. A whole day wasted.

"Closest I got was that tickle spell… And that dance instructor was no help at all. I'm just glad I got Pinkie's invitation. Worrying about Justin and everypony else was the only thing that could help me take my mind off of… I don't even know what I want… Not with this..."

Still lost in her thoughts, she turned over again and cuddled up close to Shining, careful not to wake him. It was vexing that he would be so understanding to not shout her down for her infatuation with Cerb while limiting his own interest in Becky. Then again, he recognized what should have been obvious and was a sensible response to his weakness.

No matter her own mixed-up mind and messed up heart, wanting what she did from Cerb was an impulse, nothing truly meaningful. He had so much help to offer and love to give, so having him as a friend would be a benefit to her and her budding family. If there was more than a traditional friendship he could offer, she would welcome that without hesitation.

The stallion she fell in love with, married, and finally started a family with was always going to be the one she loved. Shining was a part of her, and nothing was going to come between them. Not even this flirtatious adventure he welcomed himself to join her in. That was a testament to their love and the commitment they shared.

What else could it be?

This was one of the hardest chapters, regardless of how short it is, to write. Cadance and Shining are a loving and devoted couple, so it was difficult to navigate how they were deal with and try to logic their way through all these tempting thoughts.

In some ways, it was almost like having them go through the stages of grief.
1. Shock & Denial.
*Both gave in to wantintg to be close to Becky and Cerby, thus shared got their dances.

2. Pain & Guilt.
*Both felt bad for their original small acts of betrayal.

3. Anger & Bargaining.
*Petty arguments started until they were both shot down at the humans after party.
*Both made agreements with each other to allow them not to stop so long as they allowed the other to do the same.

4. Despression/Reflection/Loneliness
*Cadance's thoughts continue to become stronger, to the point she knew what she wanted was wrong, making her feel misserable.
*In that same time frame, Shining did some reflecting and with the help of Becky, saw what he was doing was going tlo be harmeful and pulled back.

5. The Upward Turn.
*This step got a little messed up by Shining offering more support, thinking it would be harmless, since neither he nor she had been clued in about sex. Something Twilight wasn't ready to do, but would have probably helped stop a lot of this from getting worse.

6. Reconstruction/Working Through.
*Again, Shinging kinda botched this one by... actually falling back Step 3 and bargined again with Cadance so neither would have to stop.

7. Acceptance & Hope.
*Shining as accepted his position and has hope that things will work out for both of them, while Cadance only hopes that what she want's from Cerb will be obtainable and be what she needs to find her reliefe.

Now... for those of you wondering why Cadance tried doing the dirty, but couldn't get any reaction out of it, this is the second time it's happened to both of them. Not only that, she's not the only one to make mention of trying to take care of herself but not being able to enjoy it, or thought she did something wrong.

The humans are the key to understanding this, but you might have missed something I never wanted to post red flags around. It will be much better understood probably when the trial comes around.

With all of that out of the way, for those who were expecting a different night of love and bonding to share with a very different royal awaiting her treatment, you will want to be here next Wednesday for something a much more promising in: