It was getting in the mid-afternoon on the Apple farm, and Lumberman was getting his materials in line for work.

"Yep, two-by-fours can stay in the living room, only half of them, though. The rest go with the two-by-twelves and the two-by-sixes."

A dull grey colored stallion with a forest green colored mane, wearing an orange vest and a yellow hard hat, approached Lumberman.

"Mr. Lumberman. You had some questions about the materials?"

Lumberman pulled up to the hardware store Applejack had pointed out; HAY’S Hardware Tools Lumber Tchotchkes.

As they stepped inside, Lumberman couldn’t help but notice how odd it was that for a species so much shorter than humans, all their doors were still navigable to the point he didn’t have to duck. However, that was about the only compliment he could give, as the construction he saw seemed extremely basic and poorly thought out.

Four-by-fours and an abundance of support for ceilings in one location that didn’t need it, and other ceilings with elbow braces tacked down with no real support under or behind it. If he didn’t know any better, he’d stand to reason the choices were made for aesthetics with no real thought of structural integrity.

Shotty construction reviews could wait; he was here for something else and saw the pony he needed to talk to behind the counter, still chatting it up with some local construction stallions.

“Hey there, could I get some help putting an order in?”

The owner, Lugnut, was an Earth pony stallion. He must have been up in the years, judging by his appearance. A dull grey coat over a heavyset frame of a body gave the impression he was more tired than he sounded. This was matched with a thinning black mane that had all but fallen out, save what little was still sparsely left on the back of his head, further implying age.

Yet, in spite of his senescence, his overall appearance was still positive, despite the slight sag in his tired-looking auburn eyes. However, the cheerful smile he wore made it hard not to see him as anything but pleasant and approachable.

“Welcome, and what might you be in the market for?” He asked, sounding like an Italian grandfather speaking to the neighborhood kids, but then noticed who it was that had walked in.

“Oh? Yer one of the new fellas in town? And Miss Applejack, we’ve heard some nasty rumors about a fight that happened at your farm. Something with the guards and somepony getting hurt.”

He took a cautious look at Lumberman, silently asking if she needed help.

“You’re not in any trouble, are ya? Everything’s okay?”

Lumberman had been busy looking over the inventory of the shop, but Applejack picked up on what Lugnut was really asking.

“No, everything’s not okay. Without getting into the messy details, some numbskull scumbags up and...” She took a deep breath, thinking there was no good way of trying to explain things. “Look, long story short, some guards up and started a fight they couldn’t finish. Before Celestia could get control of things, Big Mac put one through a wall, another through the floor, and the last one ended up tearing up more of the house.”

She reared up and leaned on the counter. There wasn’t much else to say about the events, nor was there anything else she cared to talk about.

“The guards have been taken care of, but the mess they left behind needs fixing. We’re here to put in an order for the supplies.”

One of the construction ponies standing by was more than happy to offer his services.

“Well, that’s a real shame to hear, but I’d be glad to get started as soon as I can take a look at the damage.”

Applejack turned her eyes just enough to see who was offering... well, more like inserting their services. Then again, who else could it have been?

“Uh, thanks, Hard Hat, but we got it covered. Lumberman, you mind telling ‘ole Lugnut here what ya need?”

Walking up to the counter, Lumberman pulled up a sheet of paper.

“I got a copy of the inventory right here. Not sure if you all use the same names for what I’m looking for, but I’m sure we can iron out those details when we need to.”

With the list now in front of Lugnut, he looked it over and tried to interpret what he was reading.

“Water-resistant three-quarter inch, four by six OSB? Framing spikes? Number two and stud grade two by fours, two by six… sonny, I’m hoping you're not looking for any of these items here. I don’t think I’ve ever seen or heard of what you're looking for. These would all be special order items, and that’s only if Hard Hat would be able to fill the order for you.”

As expected, Hard Hat sported a cocky grin as he pulled the list of materials closer to review.

“You seem to be a little lost on what to look for, ehg… what’s a galvanized nail?”

Lumberman didn’t appreciate the snark from this pony, but having dealt with customers that wanted to request materials by the wrong name was something he’s dealt with before. It was annoying, so maybe this guy just had a lousy way of dealing with it.

“Galvanized nails are steel nails with a zinc coating. Steel nails are strong, but zink stops corrosion and rust from weakening the nail. The water-resistant OSB is the pressed sheets of lumber heat treated with a water-resistant chemical and pesticides to keep the termites out. I’m sure you guys all use the same stuff, but if not, this is what I’m looking for to make sure whatever I build is going to last.”

Hard Hat was utterly dumbfounded, and his expression didn’t hide it.

“Alright, new guy, I’ll level with ya. You’re putting too much thought into this, and you’re in way over your head. What you’re doing sounds nice, but it’s gonna cost ya way more than it needs to. You should leave a job like this to me. I know what I’m doing.”

Forget lousy salesmanship. This stallion was being a prick and testing Lumberman’s patience.

“If by knowing what you're doing, you mean because you’re a licensed contractor, then you don’t need to worry about it, because I’m one too. Over ten years of experience, so I got it covered. Same for the bill, it’s being paid for by the royals in Canterlot since it was their guards responsible for the damages.”

Hard Hat grinned, his overconfidence making him look arrogant to the point of being unaware they weren’t going to accept his request for the job.

“Look, you’re new in town, and building houses is our profession, so perhaps you should leave this to the professionals?”

Sensing there was going to be a problem, Lugnut pulled the paper back over with a smile and started to talk before Hard Hat could get his next complaint out.

“We'll be more than happy to take your order. We are professionals, after all. Hard Hat, if you would do me a favor and check to see what our current stock is on our lumber in the back? Thank you. In the meantime, I’ll get more information about the specifics of the order."

It was clear that Hard Hat had a lot more to say but kept his grumbling to a minimum as he walked back to take a count of what they had in the back. However, at least in the front, Lugnut and a few of the other construction ponies were far more pleasant and started to take an interest in Lumberman’s requests, who happily explained how he planned to do some of the repairs.

Lumberman met the stallion halfway and hoped the attitude wasn’t going to come up again. Not that he wasn’t still a little sore about it himself.

"Hey, there, Hard Hat. Yeah, I wanted treated lumber and galvanized nails. Y'all didn't know what I was talking about at first, and I had to explain it. Did you bring what I asked for, or is this untreated lumber and iron nails that are gonna start rusting on me before I even get 'em nailed in?"

Hard Hat looked to be aggravated at the question and certainly came off as annoyed.

"Look, buddy. If not for the fact you got a Princess footing the bill and all that, I'd never even bothered with your request. And believe me, it was no easy task figuring out how to get all this worked out. And since you didn't know what chemicals we were supposed to use, and you didn't know what the micronized copper stuff was, we did what we could.”

The rant this pony was going on with sounded personal, as if fulfilling their order was an insult against his profession. It was aggravating enough that he took another look at the lumber with disgust, and he continued his needless lecture.

“What ya got is pine lumber infused with pesticides to keep out the termites and some acrylic varnish to help harden it. I had to pay the unicorns on my crew extra just to figure out how to even get it done. And now I'm not saying it's a bad idea, but most ponies aren't gonna want to spend the extra bits."

Lumberman didn't care to listen to the complaints but wasn’t going to let much more continue like this without making it an issue.

"Well, other ponies aren't paying for my order. What about the nails?"

For some reason, this only further annoyed Hard Hat.

"Look, if you wanted nails, I got 'em. Short nails, black nails, long nails, tiny nails, and Lugnut’s even got silver nails if you wanted something more expensive than it needs to be. I've been using wrought iron nails all my life, and I ain't—"

Out of nowhere, Applejack stepped in and started berating the construction stud.

"We're not interested in yer crying eyes, bawl baby story about yer gosh dern nails. Did ya get what he asked fer or not?"

Hard Hat's aggravation reached a tipping point, and he was suddenly up in Applejack's face.

"Listen here, lady," he jabbed Applejack in the chest as he argued. "I've been doing this—"

"Hey!" Lumberman screamed so loud that all the work of unloading materials stopped, and all eyes were on him as he stepped up to the now startled stallion.

"Did you just put your hooves on her?" His words came out dripping with venom and revealed a long-since repressed side unseen by Applejack.

Hard Hat took a quick look at his hoof, still pressing into Applejack's chest.

"I, uh—" He pulled his hoof away and started to back away. "No, I was—"

The lie only pissed Lumberman off even more. So much so that he missed Applejack reaching out to stop him and whatever she said along with it.

"No?! Really?! What?! You think I'm fucking blind?!"

Hard Hat knew he was in the wrong, and there wasn't anypony coming to his side.

"No, that's not what I meant," he said, trying to apologize before this human got any closer. "I'm sorry, but she—"

The more this pony tried to excuse himself, the faster Lumberman approached and the more hostile his tone became.

"She's your customer, she asked you a goddamn question, and you put your fucking hooves on her!"

He caught up to the stallion who had fallen on his ass, and he leaned over with his fist balled up. With the fast-rising escalation, it was clear that things were heating up too fast, and Applejack swooped in to push Lumberman back.

"Woah, there fella. No harm, no foul. No need get'n physical over a little misunderstanding."

Despite his derangement, Lumberman let Applejack push him back to de-escalate the situation, but not without giving Hard Hat a final warning.

"You know what happened to the last one of y'all that got rough with this lady right here?! Don't think I won't do the same!"

He kept walking backward towards the house, even though Applejack had stopped pushing him. He knew he’d gotten too worked up and needed to put some distance between him and that arrogant ass before he did something he’d regret.

"Touch her again; see what happens."

As Lumberman finally turned around and stopped to lean against the porch railing, Hard Hat noticed that just passed the busted wall, mostly hidden in the shade and shadows, was a bat pony glaring back at him.

The only bat ponies he knew of were the ones that were part of Luna's private Lunar Guard. Then there was a second set of yellow eyes that reflected back at him. There were two Lunar Guards inside the Apple house, and both had to have seen what went down.

At the same time, Applejack, stuck somewhere between apologetic on Lumberman's behalf and still nearly fighting mad for the same reason, came walking back to Hard Hat.

"Now, you listen here, partner. I don't care how long ya been doing this here construction job. Ya best cut the attitude. Ain't none ‘uh y'all fixing up the place, my Woody back there is. Now you got them nails ‘er not?"

Hard Hat gulped and struggled to find his words.

"I'm-uh, well. I mean, the five, its price—"

Applejack was losing her patience with this fool.

"Tuh-tuh-today, junior."

"Yes," Hard Hat finally managed to spit out. "But not all you requested. They all had to be specially ordered from the blacksmith in town, but he was already busy working on another order for Princess Twilight. You should have enough to get started with what I have now, though."

He started sweating profusely, knowing the next part he had to inform her of.

“And since they're steel nails that needed the zink coating, they're going to cost five times as much per box, not twice as originally quoted."

Whereas before, Applejack was only aggravated, now she was insulted.

"Five times! That's highway robbery, right there. And you tell me this after ya got in muh face and gone dun poked me in the chest like ya did? Well, shit. I about got half a mind to let Lumberman come back on over and beat some manners intuh ya."

Hard Hat was, unfortunately, between a rock and a hard place on this one.

"I didn't set the price for the nails. Steal cost more than iron, and Iron Forge couldn't coat the nails himself, not to mention zinc is surprisingly uncommon around here. He had to charge more for his son to take care of that. And besides, it's not like you're paying for them."

If there was anything else outside of an insult she could have heard to set her off, that was probably it.

"Oh? Is that so?" Applejack said, sounding taken aback, but then turned snide as she finished the interaction and started walking back up to the house. "Well, then, if I ain't got no reason to care about what yer charging, I'll just have to let Princess Luna know that she'll need to have the bill reviewed instead 'uh me."

If Hard Hat ever had a reason to grovel, this was it.

"W-Wa-Wa-Wait. There's no need for you to go off and—"

"Excuse me!?" Applejack belted out before turning around and marching back up to him.

"You gave us third-rate service, despite the Apple Family being long-time customers. You talked down nearly every order request Lumberman put in and had the gall to tell him he should let uh professional handle the repairs even after he told you his profession. And I'm guessing the only reason you even decided to take on the order was because you thought this was gonna be some open checkbook deal you could use to rip off the Princesses.”

Despite the brutal verbal lashing, Applejack was just getting warmed up. This cocky construction horse was gonna get it and feel it for a nice long while.

“But still not satisfied, you come here with the most unprofessional attitude I have ever seen, all because we wanted to know you could deliver everything we needed to get the house repaired. And, Lady?" She scoffed, "You couldn't even muster up enough respect to use my name while ya jammed yer hoof intuh me?!"

She glared daggers that pierced him deeply.

"And now yer gonna stand there try’n tell me what needs I do or don't have? I think the only need anypony has, is fer you tuh get yer trifling ass off'uh my property and make sure this order gets squared away without any more backtalk."

Another stallion's voice spoke up from behind Applejack.

"Miss Applejack?"

She turned around, glaring the same daggers at her new target.

"What?"

This new Earth pony stood with the apologetic look Hard Hat should have been wearing.

"The lumber is almost unloaded, but everything is accounted for. There isn't anything left to do that we can't handle."

Hard Hat motioned to head over to the last stack of wood to be unloaded.

"Hold on. I can—"

Another Earth pony stepped up to cut him off.

"No-No, weeee got this. Iron Forge don’t work all day, so how about you go get those nails taken care of?"

There was nothing left to say, nor any pride worth trying to salvage. His ego and arrogance of thinking he knew better had bitten him good, along with highlighting his worst qualities. So, without another word, he unceremoniously departed.

As Hard Hat left the property, the first stallion that had stepped up spoke again.

"I apologize on behalf of Hard Hat. He's a know-it-all that doesn't speak for the rest of us."

The other stallion nodded quickly, sharing the same sentiment.

"Not only that, he's super bent out of shape because he thinks he should have been given this job. Which is dumb since you Apples tend to do everything yourselves anyway."

Applejack did her best to keep her manners about her.

"Well, I mighty appreciate the sentiment."

Another stallion from the group had more to say for them.

"We all heard about what really happened here. You have our condolences. And if Hard Hat didn't ruin it for us, I know at least most of us would like to offer our help with the repairs."

That was a kind offer, but Applejack didn't want to drive up the cost any more than what she was already expecting.

"I do appreciate that, but this is already an expensive project. I don't feel right about charging the Princess for more than what's needed."

The first stallion approached Lumberman, this time with an apologetic tone and a sorrowful look about him.

"What he means to say is that we would like to donate our time and services."

The second stallion followed up with an even bigger statement.

"Well, also, and I'm just speaking for myself right now. However, after today, if you'd allow me to help, I'd like to use that time to also double as my resume."

The third stallion brightened up at that request.

"Yeah, that's not a bad idea. Lumberman, didn't you say before that you were a licensed builder? Don't get me wrong, Hard Hat is good at what he does, but you actually seem to care about us ponies about as much as he does letting everypony know how good he is."

The second stallion joined in.

"I heard you talking about what you wanted to do here, and it sounds like a better way to build a foundation than how we've been taught. What' duh’ya say? Lumberman Construction doesn't sound like such a bad idea, not when you consider the current competition. Plus, you'd already have a three-pony construction crew, all with plenty of contacts with ponies in and around town."

Another stallion that had stayed silent finally spoke up.

"Hard Hat putting his hooves on you after what happened here did it for me. And a four-pony crew sounds better than three."

The last pony joined the others.

"Uh-uh you're not all leaving me to work alone with that walking disaster. Five ponies, and you have yourself a full-size crew."

He turned to the two bat ponies still hiding in the shadows of the kitchen. Who wouldn’t want to work for Lumberman after that display?

"What about you two?"

Midnight Flash grinned and held up a bottle of Bacardi O.

"We were invited to have a drink with Sir Lumberman. We would not make for good builders."

Lumberman had been taking this in, bit by bit, still mad as hell about Hard Hat getting physical with Applejack, although that was one hell of an offer they just gave him.

"Are y'all serious about this? I only know about my world's construction methods and building codes."

The third pony had some insight on that.

"Your approach to assembling the support beams and trusses frankly sounds a lot stronger than how we do it. Maybe your way is better."

That may have been what Lumberman was thinking, but this wasn't his call to make.

"Apples… your house, your rules. What do you think?"

Applejack took a good long look and all the ponies who offered their services.

"Hmm… You think there's any wiggle room to fit an apple somewhere on the Lumberman Construction logo or business cards?"

"Oh, my goodness. Chris… You feel… Ooo. Harder- Mph!… Not that har— …yes, like that."

Starlight glanced over her shoulder in the kitchen to take another look into the living room where Chris was giving Nurse Redheart a hoof massage.

"He's amazing, isn't he?"

Redheart was lying on her couch under her blanket, belly up. With another stroke down her frogs and fetlock, she arched her back. Her eyes had a dream-like glaze over them as Chris worked more of the tension out from the tendons in her hindleg.

"My hooves feel like they did before I took up Nursing. Please tell me if you rub my broken hoof, you can make that better too."

Starlight tried not to laugh too loud and focused on washing the nurse's dishes.

"I don't think it works that way." She gave that idea a second thought. "But I don't know if it doesn't work that way either. This is still all very new to us how good he can feel…”

She caught herself possibly hinting at more than she needed to and backpedaled as best she could.

“You know... humans and their hands? They're like Spike's claws or some other creatures' paws, but better."

Better to change the subject altogether before things get too detailed.

"Is there anything else we can do for you? Maybe bring you back some dinner?"

Right now, all she wanted was for Chris to keep working his hands up further.

"Can Chris live here? That would be a big help and comfort."

Starlight nearly lost hold of the drinking glass she was rinsing from the request. She was, in all likelihood, just joking, but knowing how fast some mares were getting attached to him…

"Uh, as wonderful as I imagine that would be," she said, trying to sound as if she found the question humorous. "I don't see that happening any time soon."

Of course, Chris was still feeling generous and offered, "Well, I can still do something for ya when I'm visiting."

Redheart liked the sound of that and had a greater sense of encouragement when Chris's fingers worked their way over her knees.

"Mph. I'll hold you to it… Higher, please. "

Still trying to find a better subject, Starlight asked, "So, Red. What else do you do besides work?"

Nurse Redheart answered enthusiastically under Chris's treatment.

"Not much, sadly. Work eats up so much of my time that I usually end up coming home and reading medical journals. I have a record player, but I haven't gotten around to getting any new music in ages, so I rarely even listen to it."

Chris had shifted his focus to working his caretaker's thigh and the back of her rear leg when he asked, "Don't you ever go out with your friends?"

All this treatment was making Nurse Redheart too comfortable to mask her shame.

"My only friends are the ones I work with, really. We talk on our breaks, but all we talk about is work. Really it’d be more appropriate to call them co-workers as opposed to friends.”

She tried to think of a time they all did something like normal ponies do.

“Once we went out for dinner together for Nurse Magenta Heart's birthday a few years ago, but we haven't since. Going to your Welcome Welcome Party was the first fun thing I did in a long time… Let me know if you're going to do another dance party like that again. Your party was a lot more fun than the-oh… mmm, yes. Whatever it is you're working on right there, more of that, please."

Chris couldn't see exactly what he was working on under that part of the blanket, but by the feel of it, it most likely was where her legs met her flanks.

"Must have been sore right there, huh?"

Nurse Redheart slowly started to spread her legs wider to give him easier access.

"Must be, because whatever you're doing feels so good."

Chris instinctively glanced down to see how close she was to exposing herself. Whether it was due to his perversion or natural curiosity, he had to look. He also had to wonder if she had done this intentionally or if she was as clueless as he figured the rest of them were.

Either way, the velvety smooth hairs were so short and thin that he could see that her skin was just as white as her coat underneath. Although there was also a slight hue of pink blending in, it gave the impression that her groin was starting to blush, or perhaps he was starting to arouse her.

As tempting as it was to continue, he couldn’t let things get carried away, especially since they didn't have that type of relationship even hinted at. Not that he didn't think about it for a moment.

Stupid sexy pantieless nurse.

Starlight, not seeing how hot and bothered the nurse was getting, instead saw the opportunity to expand her growing list of friends and shouted out from the kitchen.

"Hey, since you're going to have so much downtime for a while, I just started meeting up with a group of girls. Would you like me to ask if they wanted to hang out?"

Somewhere between lounging in the bliss from Chris's hands and the overall pleasant nature of their company, Nurse Redheart figured it could be a welcomed change.

"I would like that. Thank you, Starlight."

With the dishes done, Starlight joined the two in the living room.

"I'm meeting up with some of them tonight. I'm sure they'll be glad to have you join us. Maybe we could stop over afterward if that's alright with you?"

Starlight stood in the center of the room, expecting Redheart to welcome the company. Instead, the nurse was so entranced by the massage that she was oblivious to the world around her.

At least Chris heard the request.

"Redheart? Would that be okay?"

Somehow she heard him re-ask the question and snapped out of whatever blissful thoughts she had drifted away in.

"Huh?"

That was enough to convince Chris things must have gone too far with the nurse, and pulled his hands free.

"Starlight asked if it was okay for the girls to stop over tonight."

Nurse Redheart sat up, her ears flopping back and forth.

"Oh, uh… sure. What time?"

Starlight did her best quick calculations in her head.

"Probably nine-thirty at the earliest, if that's not too late."

There was a moment of hesitation from Redheart. She wasn't used to having guests over or entertaining others. It was a sad state when she realized just how work-centered her life was.

She was responsible for taking care of many ponies, young and old, and was proud of her accomplishments, but her personal life was, in a word...nonexistent.

Her reluctancy to accept the offer was faltering under the desire to have more fulfillment in her life. More than what work had to offer. That, and she still needed Chris if she was going to make any headway in her research.

Unfortunately, she knew she was running low on time with a more pressing matter and would need them to leave. However, that would mean she needed them to come back.

Pulling her good hoof over her hair, Redheart looked over her boring empty house briefly before focusing on Starlight, patiently waiting for an answer.

"I'm not much for entertaining guests, and I won't be able to do much as a host while I'm still in my cast, but… I think it would be a nice change of pace. If you can make it over tonight, then I'll be happy to have your company."

That was great news for Starlight, and she smiled brightly at how well she had done with expanding her circle of friends.

"Great! But if the girls can't make it, do you mind if I stop over to check on you a little bit later than nine-thirty?"

Red Heart wasn't at that level with Starlight yet. That and she couldn’t be sure how her night would be treating her.

"If you can't make it over by ten, I'll probably already be in bed, but I'll stay up later if you make it back before then. And if that is the case, then I hope you don't mind, but I think I'm going to take a bath and rest up a bit if I'm going to have company."

Amidst the conversation, Chris looked at his watch.

"We actually need to get back ourselves, and would you like us to bring you back something? You kinda skipped over that part last time we asked."

It was time for some quick thinking from this clever nurse.

"How about I owe you dinner, Chris? Both as a thank you for all your help, as well as to apologize for what happened at the hospital today."

Without even thinking, Chris accepted.

"Sure, I shouldn't be too busy—" He realized he just accepted a request for a dinner date two seconds too late. "—after Cerb gets back."

The nurse took a look at her bandaged hoof.

"Don't worry. I doubt I'll be all that great of a company out in town until after my hoof heals. But if you could do me a favor and get a bubble bath started for me, I'd appreciate it."

Chris looked to see down a short hallway and one of the open doors where he could see the bathtub.

"Sure thing," and happily accepted before he left to get it started.

With Starlight alone with her in the living room, and Chris out of earshot over the running water, Redheart thought it best to give a better explanation for her enthusiasm at the hospital earlier that day.

"I wanted to apologize for what happened with Chris again today."

Starlight smiled and waved a hoof.

"No, no. You're fine. You already—"

"I didn't tell you everything," Redheart insisted. "The genitals of humans seem to be a very vital part of their bodies. Especially the males. I didn't have a good idea of why they stay covered up so much at first. But looking over Becky's medical books, there are so many veins and arteries that feed into that area. Not to mention a high concentration of nerves."

Despite being well studied, whatever point was being made was lost to Starlight.

"Is that a bad thing?"

There were so many different ways to take this, and Nurse Redheart didn't know enough to know where to start.

"I don't think so. Not unless he gets injured there. Becky was stabbed through the ribs and almost bled to death from a much smaller artery that was cut. These arteries in his groin are larger and aren't even protected by any bone structures, but that's not all. There are so many nerves collected there, which must make it very sensitive, but I'm not entirely sure why, but whatever it is, it might help further some of the lesser-known studies on pony physiology."

Starlight leaned in, having her interest captured.

"That's amazing. How?"

Nurse Redheart's ear twitched, and she bit her lip.

"I'm… not entirely sure, but you two can head on out now. By the time I get in the bathtub, it should be just about ready for me. I’ll be fine for the time being."

She slid off the couch and hobbled as best she could without using her injured leg,

"I hope I can see you again tonight."

Chris and Starlight saw themselves out while Nurse Redheart eased herself into the tub, careful not to get her cast wet.

"That proves it."

She slid her good hoof down between her legs and began to let her frogs work down between her thighs. As she found that sweet pleasurable spot, a hiss drew out from her lips when she bit down.

She bit so hard that she nearly drew blood.

"Gah! First, Mr. Husk, now Chris. They're doing this to me. Cerb and his dancing. Chris and his hands. And when those fingers of his—"

Her back hooves clanged against the inside of the tub as she spread her legs wider. She pressed in hard against her clit at the thought of the two nude humans. Indulging the lewd thoughts, her mind danced between both figures until it settled on Chris and his more impressive display.

Still wanting more, she tried to remember the feeling of his hands delighting her senses as they drew closer to where her physical attention was focused.

"I don't know what I want, but I know it's them. Guh!"

Something about seeing their hidden anatomy excited her so much more as she fantasized about being with Chris again. If only she hadn’t brought the other nurses and doctors in, she could have had more time with him. That and Starlight was sending mixed signals about her relationship with him.

She didn’t make anything as obvious as Fluttershy had. Not until the other staff hand upset Chris during the examination. Maybe she was undecided about how she felt, and Chris was fair game?

"I need to get Chris alone and… and... an—" Her voice peaked as she climaxed and milked the afterglow for all it was worth.

"I'm sure he can help me solve this.”

Cerb finally reached the bottom and looked for a clearing in the trees overhead.

"Alright, send up one kite for pick up and another to send a message."

Fluttershy was already on top of things and attached the two kites together.

"Sending them up right now. And what are you going to say if they ask about the gunshot? I'm sure that at least somepony heard it."

Cerb sulked a bit but didn't seem too beaten up about it.

"Gonna have to be honest about it. I'll give her the basics, but we can explain the rest later. I just hope Twilight doesn't give Benny too much shit for bringing his gun along with him."

"I'm sure once we explain everything, she'll understand," Fluttershy said, releasing the signals to float up. "It all really makes sense that you would hold onto your guns after everything you told me."

Overhead, Rainbow Dash's voice called out, sounding louder than it had the previous times she started the safe entry procedures.

"Devil Dog! This is Eye In The Sky! Requesting permission to land!"

Cerb looked up to the treetops.

"Jesus Christ, that was fast," he spoke quietly enough only Fluttershy could hear him before shouting up with his response to the challenge and pass.

"I'm with the Yellow Element on the second day by a tree and a bush. Who are you with?"

Fluttershy fluttered down next to Cerb and asked, "I forget, what's the challenge and pass for today?"

"Ya gotta remember these things," Cerb said, still looking up to the trees. "It's element and prism."

Rainbow Dash shouted back down.

"I'm with the fliers who didn't leave a prism trail on the first day."

Cerb smiled at the delivery.

"Overwatch Team, permission to land granted. Proceed at your discretion."

Given the green light, Rainbow Dash led in her team with her, promptly making a hasty landing.

"What happened up there? We heard your noisemaker go off. Twilight was literally freaking out."

Before Cerb could get a word out, Twilight teleported in and locked eyes on Cerb and Fluttershy.

"Are you both alright?! What happened up there?!"

This had to happen, and Cerb was as ready as he was going to be to handle it.

"We're fine, but—" He glanced at Rainbow Dash. "Dash, could you send your team up so just us four can talk about this?"

Rainbow Dash looked over her shoulder and gave her orders in a stern voice.

"Cloud Chaser, Stormwalker. You heard 'em. Return to your Overwatch position and stand by."

When it was just the four remaining, Fluttershy started to speak first.

"Twilight, Rainbow, do you remember after the changeling invasion when we were running through the forest, and we were all being chased by the chupacabra and the vampire jackalopes?"

Fluttershy swallowed hard as they both stared blankly at her and Cerb. She could see they remembered but weren't about to interrupt with questions, so she continued.

"I think the chupacabra must have followed us back and got lost in the Everfree Forest."

"Please! Don't fly away!" Fluttershy cried out to a flock of birds in a panic as she approached them.

"I'm looking for—"

More birds flew away, and she turned to see a finch frantically hovering over a nest.

"Excuse me, Mr. Finch, I was wondering if—"

She stood still as she started to hear the frantic pleas for her to leave before she was eaten as well.

"Eaten? What's trying to eat you?"

A sudden cry of more frightened birds poured in with the crashing of underbrush and twigs. As the birds flew in, nearly hitting Fluttershy, the creature barreled in and stomped down with a pounce, almost trapping a songbird in his paws.

The large beast slowly lifted a paw and peered underneath, letting loose a booming roar at finding no meal had been captured.

He quickly eyed his surroundings for the next fowl to prey upon but stopped, giving Fluttershy a surprised look, like remembering the face of an old rival. Then he slowly lowered himself into a crouch and leaned towards his new feast.

"My, don't you look like a hungry chupacabra," Fluttershy stammered as she backed away, seeing the many birds in their nests cowering silently and hiding their young.

"I mean, hunting for birds? That's not what your kind normally—" She suddenly started to recognize his features with flashbacks of him chasing Twilight and her. "You? How did—"

The chupacabra's eyes went wild with hunger and rage. It darted forward and roared with murderous intent.

Fluttershy quickly jumped to the side, narrowly avoiding its claws. As the chupacabra caught its balance and corrected its course back around, Fluttershy ran off and took flight to evade the beast.

She banked hard, left and right, ducking and weaving to avoid the branches that hindered her escape. All the while, the beast closed the distance.

Seeing a light ahead, Fluttershy pushed herself harder to escape, smashing her way through the branches and brush.

The beast, however, did not slow its pace, nor was it hindered as it drew closer.

Still flying and evading for her life, Fluttershy pushed on, now dodging the swipes from claws and snaps from the chupacabra's jaws.

Panting hard, with frightened gasps and yelps, Fluttershy broke through to the light in the clearing and started to fly up toward the clouds.

The beast lunged forward, its jaws open, claws extended, and lept out, snapping its teeth tight.

Just inches away, its hungry maul closed empty. Feeling the attempt fail, it braced itself to land and pounce again. His legs extended with Fluttershy still in reach… but his paws never touched the ground.

The chupacabra was now floating completely stationary. He pawed frantically to find the underbrush so he could rebound and claim his prize, but the ground failed to present itself.

After Fluttershy had ascended out of reach, it looked down to see the open air and the ravine below. Understanding the depths he faced below, gravity took effect and pulled him down to the depths of the violent raging river.

"I thought that he wouldn't come back after that, but I guess he decided to stick around. And once I came back here, he must have been following me, waiting for the chance to catch me alone. Then the birds wouldn't let Cerb come near their colony, so we agreed to take the risk to separate. He stayed behind, and the chupacabra was able to track me down. When he found me, I couldn't get away or protect all the new baby chicks of the birds helping us, so I told them to get Cerb."

With that opening, Cerb started to take over.

"I don't know how those birds knew how to let me know that Fluttershy was in danger, but I'll give you a full debrief when this is over. Bottom line is that when I got there, that thing was digging in, trying to get to Fluttershy and the birds."

He pulled out his gun and racked out a shell. Holding it in his fingertips, he showed it to Rainbow Dash and Twilight.

"This is what my noisemaker uses."

True to his word, he gave a brief explanation of what happened up the hill with the chupacabra and what his noisemaker was, including its lethal effects. He even ended with tapping the unspent round on his chest, reminding her of his scars, just to make things clear.

Naturally, as one might expect, Twilight was utterly mortified, her eyes rapidly shifting between Cerb and the weapon.

"Why would you bring something like that with you!"

Cerb was understanding but not accepting.

"Bringing it here to your world, or here to the Everfree Forest, where, if I recall, you were worried about something killing me or Fluttershy? In which case, nothing did because of my gun."

Obviously, Twilight couldn't blame him for the gun being brought to this world since it was partially her fault he was there, and it’s not like he had a choice. Beyond that, any soldier would have brought a weapon with them out here, she reasoned. Even so...

"But you... It's so dangerous."

As true as that was, Cerb still had a better counterpoint.

"What's been a bigger danger and more damaging, our guns or your spears?"

Ever helpful, Rainbow Dash chimed in with, "He's got ya there, Twilight."

Twilight clenched her eyes shut and raised her head to shout, "That's not the point!"

Trying again to reign in her emotions, she lowered her head and digressed.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know how to feel about such dangerous weapons being carried around in Ponyville."

Cerb holstered his pistol in his waistband and at least could sympathize with her concerns.

"They've never left our embassy until today, and that was only for self-defense in what you kept referring to as the most dangerous part of your kingdom. And it was still used without doing any harm. Not to mention I could have just as easily killed the chupacabra with my ax when it was busy digging in to get to Fluttershy."

It was clear now that Twilight had no viable platform to stand on against humans and their weapons, but that raised another question.

"So, does that mean that the weapon Benny had is a gun as well?"

At this point, there was no reason to lie about it, so Cerb answered honestly.

"Yes, but his is a lot different than what I have on me."

Rainbow Dash was the first to make the connection to their first time she was exposed to Benny's shotgun.

"Didn't Lumberman point that one at us when you came back with Kelly after she was stabbed?"

"Oh, no," Twilight realized the kind of danger all of them and Celestia were put in that day.

"We had no shields up around us when he did that. He could have killed any one of us!"

Again, Rainbow Dash had to undercut Twilight's position.

"Twilight, I understand why you're freaking out, but I think you need to take a step back and look at this more reasonably."

Twilight flinched at the request from her friend, who was not known for using her head half the time.

"Oh, really? And what’s the reasonable way to look at Lumberman pointing a miniature cannon at Celestia's head?!"

Rainbow Dash leaned away from the shouting in her face but then leaned back in and stared down Twilight to explain.

"Think about it, Twilight. That was before, they had a clue how tough and durable we are. Not to mention Cerb had their friend bleeding to death in his arms, and they’d come back to their house filled with more of the same guards that just tried to kill Kelly. And what did they do when Celestia, the biggest, strongest, and most powerful pony of us all, who just so happens to be in charge of the guards who tried to kill Kelly, tried to get close to her?"

Honestly, this was something Rainbow Dash had been dwelling on since Cerb fought Onyx and Helix. While she didn't understand the functionality of their weapons, she remembered Becky mentioned that it wasn't safe to let Cerb spar with weapons because of how dangerous he would be. Cerb could have probably taken them all out that day, but he didn't.

"They told her to stay back. They didn't fight! Then, when that lizard mutt was going after Fluttershy, instead of turning it into a fur coat for Rarity, he scared it into submission and told it to get lost! If they were seriously going to use those guns of theirs, I'm pretty sure they would have shot one of us by now. And if you haven’t noticed, those things are pretty fucking loud. It’s a safe bet that we would have heard them making noise anywhere back in Ponyville."

A hollow silence fell over the group as Rainbow Dash's surprisingly out-of-character insight left Twilight speechless.

Rainbow Dash turned and looked at Cerb.

"Hey, Big Guy. I know you’re super strong and magic-proof, but I also know you and your friends aren't invincible. You've all been scared for your lives out here because of what a few ponies have done. And knowing all of your other friends and family members that have died or been killed, I don't know how you aren't freaking out constantly. Not just that, but if killing others to stop the bad creatures and villains from hurting and killing innocent ponies-err, humans, is normal in your world, why wouldn’t you do that here?"

Twilight turned to face Cerb after hearing that and asked, "Why didn't you or Lumberman pull the trigger when you had the chance?"

The answer for Cerb was easy, but he had to think of the reasoning he could for Lumberman.

"That day at our house, Lumberman knew if he did pull the trigger, we probably wouldn't have gotten out alive. And even if we did, we didn't know what was going on. Lumberman isn't really the killer type anyway."

They all raised an eyebrow at that last comment, but, without any objections, Cerb continued.

"It wouldn't have been justified if we could have gotten out with having to kill any of the guards. As for me, not pulling the trigger or burying my ax in the chupacabra… I could have. And had Fluttershy asked me not to, I wouldn't have risked our lives by not ending his."

Twilight and Rainbow Dash turned to Fluttershy, amazed that she had that kind of influence on him, but Cerb pulled all their attention back to him as he finished his answer.

"I have no idea what that thing was fully capable of doing to me or Flutters. I could have left myself open to being ripped apart by scaring it like I did. Obviously, I was taking a stupid amount of risk by not eliminating the threat, but—"

He moved his hand over and placed it under Fluttershy's jawline, gently pulled her head up against his side, and stroked her neck.

"—I owe you all too much to let you down or not do everything I can to prove my worth. Especially if I don't want you to think I'm some kind of monster that needs to be shunned away."

Twilight backed down. This looked to be yet another bad judgment call on her behalf.

"Look, it's not that I don't trust you. I certainly do. You're risking your life for Becky and everypony around you. But I'm having such a hard time trying to understand how it is that you can come from such a horribly violent world and—"

She slightly shook her head, trying to come to terms with the compromises she was making with them. It seemed like two sides of her mind were at war with each other, and both sides were trying to bring her heart into it to turn the tide.

"—not act out like others in your world would. Or how you used to? Or I don't even know anymore!... Goddamnit!"

Twilight was slowly working herself into an angry state of hyperventilation when Fluttershy laid a wing on her shoulder.

"I know this is a lot to take in. It was a lot for Rarity and me, too. But you said you could trust us, and we trust him. We would have told you about this earlier, but we didn't think he'd have a reason to use it. And we trusted that Cerb and the others wouldn't use their weapons to murder, or even hurt anypony. And when you think about it, the weapons they use are no different than any we have or what a unicorn can do with their magic."

Twilight’s eyes immediately looked up towards her horn as Cerb crossed his arms and looked down at his bag as he started to speak again.

"The important thing is that we got everything we need for Becky. So, if we can, let's just take these back to be packaged up and send them back to town. We're going to walk back to the same campsite as last night, camp out there for the night, and then meet up at the castle so we can all go home together. By this time tomorrow, we'll be home, and we can put this all behind us. But, as a favor, we won't remove our guns from our embassy without notifying you from here on out. Sound good?"

Twilight sighed, completely defeated, and nodded.

"Yes, that sounds wonderful. I can't wait to get back and soak in the hot tub. Then I can get ready for my week of being Pretty Pretty Princess and get that out of the way… I still have a lot of planning to do for that." She looked up at Cerb. "What about you? What are your plans?"

Cerb shrugged, happy to finally have the main issue settled.

"Not much. Just get ready to head out and see what can be done for me with Cadance in her kingdom."

Fluttershy adjusted her wings, seeing that things were finally calming down.

"You'll like it there. It's a very nice place… once you get past all the snow."

Rainbow Dash stepped over to the bag and examined their haul.

"If this is all you have, I think my team and I can take this all in one trip. Are you going to need anything from here so we can get moving right away?"

Cerb pulled out his water bottle, a small bundle of food, and a first aid kit.

"That's it. Everything else I'm carrying, or Fluttershy has. Just be careful with the flowers. We got three of them, but I'd rather not risk losing even one."

Twilight looked over the bag.

"I wish I could just teleport them all back, but I don't know if my magic would damage them."

"It's fine," Cerb said, pulling out his compass. "I got faith that you’ll get this all taken back safely."

And with that, Cerb and Fluttershy continued back to their campsite from the night before, Twilight returned to resume command at the castle, and Rainbow Dash's team took turns delivering their last haul.

Lumberman finished securing the tarp over the side of the house and turned to address his new crew.

"Alright, we got a good start for the day, and as far as I'm concerned, you're all hired. Whatever your previous working agreement with Hard Hat was, I'll honor it for this job, and then we’ll see if there's any adjustments needed for new contracts and start making prospects for new jobs outside of fixing up Benny's place. Be back here tomorrow at eight, and be ready to work."

The new pony crew cheered their success on what turned out to be a very informative and productive day. They gathered what few things they had and headed back to town, leaving Lumberman and Applejack to prepare for evening chores and dinner.

Applejack fixed a large pot on the stove and shouted back to Lumberman, "How does sweet potato 'n dumpling stew sound for dinner?"

Lumberman was busy sitting at the kitchen table, looking over papers to see how much had been accomplished and how to split the loads of work still to be done.

"Apples... you can stop with the asking if whatever you're making sounds good. I'm pretty sure you could put a dog turd on toast and make it tasty."

As gross as the concept was, Applejack had a burst of unrepentant laughter.

"You crack me up, Woody. And not that Winona wouldn't have plenty to spare, I don't think I'll be put'n that on the menu anytime soon."

Lumberman had a good chuckle from that.

"Who's Winona, and what kind of dog does she have?"

Applejack started up the stove, "Winona is my dog. You ain't seen her running round here?"

"Hold up," Lumberman said, turning back to look at Applejack. "Since when did you have a dog?"

"She's around," Applejack said, realizing she hadn't seen her for a while, come to think of it. "Usually, I don't let'er in the house. Let me call'er for ya."

Gingerly, Applejack trotted out to the front door and called out for her dog. Within a few seconds, the rapid pitter-patter of paws rustled through the grass and then into the house. As promised, there was now a short shepherd dog at Lumberman's feet, happily barking and wagging her tail.

"Woah, look at you," Lumberman greeted the excited dog. "Aren't you a—" He got a good look at the dog's face. "Hey, Apples? What's up with the dog's eyes?"

Applejack trotted back in, unsure about what he was asking about.

"Something wrong with 'em?"

Lumberman gave a curious look at the dog's face. Everything about Winona looked to be normal, except for the eyes. Her pupils were white, while the rest surrounding it was solid black. No colored iris or pupil to speak of. The sight was utterly unnatural.

"I dunno," He admitted. "I've just never seen eyes like that before.

Winona cocked her head to the side, then turned to Applejack with happy pants and her tongue hanging out.

Applejack looked at her dog, so used to the sight and never having questioned it.

"They look normal to me," she said, giving Winona a quick rub on the head. "But now that you mention it, I don't know of any other dog with eyes like hers."

Being how this was a world based on a cartoon, Lumberman didn't care to question it any deeper.

"Well, there's a lot about this world I don't get, so long as it's not a problem, I'm not gonna pitch a bitch about it."

He reached out and started to pet Winona, who instantly fell in love with the pets and scratches.

"Heh," Applejack could see how fast Winona was taking to Lumberman. "Looks like you just made a new friend."

"Seems like it," Lumberman replied as he pulled his hand back.

Winona craned her neck to follow Lumberman's hand, and when it was out of reach, she jumped into his lap, rubbing and nuzzling herself over him for affection.

"Winona!" Applejack raised her voice with a laugh. "Get offa Woody, ya nutball. Get on outside and go play with the squirrels if yer that full of energy."

Winona's ears perked up, and she jumped down, running excitedly back and forth until Applejack opened the door to let her out. Once the door was open, she bolted for the trees, her barks growing quietly as she ran off to busy herself while Applejack came back inside.

"Sorry 'bout that. She's usually a lot more well-behaved with guests."

Of course, Lumberman was all smiles.

"Don’t worry about it. Cerb used to have a dog like that. She was a lot bigger, but just as loving and in your face. Although his dog was terrible when it came to giving kisses."

"Oh?" Applejack thought quickly to poke a little fun at Lumberman. "You're embarrassed being kissed by a pony, but don't bat an eye about how good or bad of a kisser dogs are. I see how it is."

It took him a second, but he decided to play along.

"Well, tell ya what. Find a nice collar that looks cute on ya, and I might make an exception."

That didn't go as expected. Best bring her A-game.

"Is a collar all you was needing there, Woody? I might have a few lying around if that's all it'll take."

"Nah," Lumberman dismissively answered as he turned his attention back to his paperwork. "I don't care how much Luna is paying me. The collar you need is way outta my price range."

He raised his hand and made tickle finger motions.

"Be glad yer getting the belly rubs, Apple Hat."

"Huh," Applejack huffed unamused. "Just fer that, you better really wow me tonight with them thirty minutes you owe me, or you'll be lucky to get toast with your dog turds from here on out."

“Dog turds?” Granny Smith’s voice came out of nowhere. “You best not be let’n Winona in the house.”

Applejack snapped around to see Granny standing in the doorway, a wiry smile on her face.

“Wha? Granny? What are you doing back here?”

Apple Bloom darted past Granny and into the kitchen.

“We came back for dinner. And is Becky still here? We need help with spying on Sniff. We didn’t learn nuthin ‘bout what he was fixing to do today.”

Starlight finished another bite from her flower medley sandwich.

"Sniff, tell me again. How did you get a job at the spa?"

Becky set a breadstick in her tomato soup to let it soak up more of the flavor while a jab came to mind.

"I think the better question is, how did none of us see this coming."

Kelly snickered and tried not to choke on her grilled cheese before she asked, "And how many clients will see Sniff cumming?"

Spike gave the best answer he could think of.

"Well, unless the pony is blind, they're all going to see him coming into the spa."

Becky, Kelly, and Chris giggled like schoolchildren while Sniff facepalmed.

Starlight grinned as if she understood the joke.

Sniff, trying to save face, offered his most sympathetic case.

"Look, I wouldn't doubt you've all heard, or at least you're going to hear, that I've been spending a lot of cash getting some stuff for Twilight. Apparently, some of our typical conversations can easily piss her off. Not only that, but I'm also gonna get cabin fever if I don't get a Jay Oh Bee. Aside from this paying good, I'd like to start back up in marketing again, and working there has already landed me a gig. So, until I get that job going, my superpower of hands is all I got to work with."

At the mention of his hands, Sniff took a curious look at his fingers. Everything about this was so stupid. He had stupid superpowers, a stupid job, and all because of the stupid problems of not wanting to keep his dick in his pants or his hands off what they shouldn't be touching... but at least it would pay well.

"Besides, the spa chicks liked me enough and were impressed with what I can do, recognized the celebrity status we now have, and offered me a job. So, with only a few sessions over a few days, I'll be able to pay back everything that I took from what Celestia gave us. Then after that, I’ll be able to cover everything else I want to do, like, pay for dinner. Which I'm able to do tonight."

Becky cut back on the jokes and offered her support.

"Well, I think that's smart. If they can enjoy a massage as much as Dashie does, I'm sure you'll be raking in the bits."

Another chuckle came from Spike before he took a jab at Sniff.

"And all the single ladies he gets to meet."

That joke would have been a lot funnier to Chris had Sniff not had it not been for the conversation with him that morning, so Chris countered with a question to shut him up.

"Speaking of single ladies. Spike, any special pony you got your eye on that you'd like to tell us about?"

Seeing the worry in Spike's eyes and knowing that Chris was trying to stop the jokes being thrown Sniff's way, Starlight spoke up to pull back the conversation.

"Okay, I know you're all having fun and telling jokes about finding a special somepony, but you probably shouldn't make them in public."

Thankfully for Spike, the ploy worked, and she had the table's attention.

"It wasn't until you started making these jokes that I noticed how many single mares live around here and not a lot of stallions. So, if none of you are serious about dating or getting asked out—" She changed her voice to sound as sympathetic and apologetic as possible. "—you probably don't want to say anything that would let somepony think that."

Everyone but Becky seemed to sink in their seat at hearing the request.

Of course, Starlight saw their reactions and thought maybe she had said too much or said something wrong to make them all uncomfortable. She didn't want to kill the mood, just reign it in some.

"Sorry... I know you're all just having fun and don't mean anything by it, but you all already draw a lot of attention. I also think if any of you are so opposed to that kind of thing and said something that came off wrong... it likely isn't going to end well."

She could see that she didn't improve anyone's mood; better try again.

"But, I'm sure that will make for better jokes when you're alone."

Sniff could appreciate the effort and moved to bring the conversation back on a pleasant note.

"It's all good, Star Power. I don't think we've been stranded here long enough for you to tell others were ready to cross that bridge. So if anyone asks, just tell 'em that we're still transitioning. Probably best not to make us uncomfortable while we're still getting acclimated to this world."

Becky slowly stirred her breadstick in her soup and softly spoke to the table.

"Sounds shitty... not saying I'm looking to enter the dating pool but... being alone with the someone you want and having them flaunt in your face. I can understand that."

She looked up to Starlight with sad eyes.

"Just tell anypony that asks, that I'm too sick, or I won't be around long enough to be in a relationship."

"Woah!" Sniff burst out in shock at the suddenly morbid turn. "Too soon, Becks."

Not wanting to focus on such a bleak outlook, he turned to Starlight.

"First of all, we're not gonna let that happen. Second of all, we're not going to express any kind of prejudice against ponies. We can take care of ourselves if and when they decide to approach us. So, that's not a yes or a no. We're just going to handle it on an individual basis because we're all grown-ups and can take care of ourselves. Right ladies? Chris?"

They all nodded and agreed.

Sniff again spoke up to keep the conversation from going south.

"First and foremost, we're all friends. Not wanting to be in a relationship is not a sign of ill will. Besides, as for example, Becky is improving their quality of life with her medical studies. So it's not that we don't want to be with anypony, we're all a little too busy trying to make everything a little more awesome."

Chris smirked as he was given an opportunity he couldn’t pass up.

"He means about twenty percent cooler."

Sniff shot Chris a look, "That sounds super meta and dumb."

Becky giggled and agreed.

"Yeah, it is. He totally took it from the show."

Sniff sighed, having a lot more sympathy for Chris after these last few days.

"Yeah... I love you Chris, but you're dumb. I'm doing everything I can for ya, but that's dumb."

Chris grinned, letting the lightened mood influence his response.

"You're dumb."

Sniff countered as only he could.

"Your face is dumb."

Chris answered back, keeping the old joke going.

"Your mom is dumb."

Sniff replied, just as straight-faced as before.

"Your mom's face is dumb."

Chris had a hard time not laughing.

"Your dumb's face is mom."

Sniff was sure he had the last variant of this joke.

"Your dumb's mom is face."

Even if there was another way to swap up the words, Chris didn't know what it was and was laughing too hard to deliver it.

"Dang it, I give."

Starlight wanted to get the conversation back on track and spoke up amongst their laughing.

"Anyway, the reason I was asking was to see if any person else wanted to find a job. And if so, what you all would be looking for."

Kelly was the first to answer.

"I used to own a few stores that sold geeky stuff. Animes, comics, collectibles… My Little Pony plushies."

Starlight eyes brightened at that last note.

"Really? Did they make any of me?"

Kelly sported an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, I think you didn't come into the show until after I sold off my shops. And I didn't watch everything I sold, so I never got around to seeing the show. I only sorta remembered who some of you were from Chris and some of the other bronies that bought your merch."

"Oh," Starlight said, sounding a little disappointed, but perked up again with a new hope. "Maybe you could start another shop here? Chris told me a little about what an anime is, and while we don't have those here, there are artists and novelists from other kingdoms. If you were good at selling things from other countries in your world, maybe you can do that here."

Kelly shrugged.

"That or take up farming."

Becky snickered at the image of her friend working in the fields.

"Yeah, right, Kel, but I'm already doing the medical stuff. So I'm good on that. What about you, Chris? You think your law studies will cross over well here?"

Chris fiddled with his salad as he ran through what he did know from both worlds.

"I have no clue. Most law I worked with was bankruptcy and civil cases in small claims courts. I doubt anything I ever learned about felony crimes are gonna be useful. But who knows?"

Sniff finished his plate and motioned for the check.

"Don't forget you're still our legal guru and pony expert. We should compensate you for all you're doing to ensure good international relationships and helping us stay off their terrorist watch list or whatever Tia was gonna do. But, as for now, I got to go meet up with the mayor next door."

A young-earth pony stallion dropped off their bill and informed Sniff, "You can pay upfront if you're in a hurry." and trotted back to the front at the cashier counter.

Sniff stood up and addressed the table.

"Ladies, gents. As always, it was a pleasure having dinner with you all, but I’ve got to get moving. I should be back later tonight. I just don't know when because I don't know what all the mayor and I will be working out. And Chris..."

He pointed a finger gun at Chris as he winked, wondering what his friend was really up to.

“You best get moving if you’re gonna meet up with Derpy on time.”

Chris quickly looked at his watch.

“Awe, shit. Thanks.”

Kelly reserved the joke she had lined up and did the proper thing, not taking jabs at either of the guys.

"Thanks. Next meal’s on me. After I get a job, I mean, so… probably not the next one. And Chris, be a gentleman out there with Derpy."

The rest all thanked Sniff, he paid the bill, and then stepped into Grapes and Olives. He was, not surprisingly, a few minutes early and took a seat to chat with his favorite barmare.

"Damn, Topsy, you ever go home? Actually, you know what? Let me speak to the manager of this bar. Someone needs to get her head straight and give you some time off."

Top Shelf rolled her eyes and smiled, delighted to have his company.

"Don't blame the manager. Blame whoever put her in charge in the first place."

She stifled a laugh and leaned upon the bar in front of Sniff.

"So, what brings you in tonight? Should I expect to see little Miss Oven Fresh showing up any time soon?"

"No, unfortunately," Sniff admitted, sounding kind of sad, but perked up again as he continued, "Tonight is all business. I plan on starting up a marketing agency, and Mayor Mare is looking for my help. So, we're gonna meet up tonight and talk about an upcoming event she wants advertised."

"Hmm," Top Shelf thought to herself. "Well, considering that you got me promoted, and a raise, after just meeting me, I can easily see you doing well in this line of work. Heck, you've improved the business of everypony you've worked with so far.”

She shifted her eyes up and thought about the most recent examples with his involvement.

“My promotion, Oven Fresh's new set of orders of bread bowls, more business sent to Rarity. I think every mare you've come in contact with has had nothing but a positive experience."

The rich and mature, sultry voice of a mare spoke up behind Sniff.

"I would most certainly agree."

Sniff turned around to see Mayor Mare standing there. She still had that same glow around her from after the massage. However, right away, one thing stood out.

She had swapped out her white collar and green fluff piece for a lavender-colored sash that she had tied up into a bow around her neck. That, and there was a much softer look in her rich, blue eyes. Add all these together, along with her confident strut as she walked up to the bar; neither Sniff nor Top Shelf could deny they knew what Mayor Mare's intentions were.

Top Shelf pulled out a couple of drink menus and held them just long enough to hide her face to whisper to Sniff.

"Unless you're in the market for another marefriend, I don't think she's here strictly for business."

She lowered the menus onto the bar and greeted the ambitious mare.

"Evening, Mayor. Peter here was just telling me about this new job that he's to be working with you on. How did he wind up with you as a client?"

Mayor Mare took a seat on the barstool next to Sniff.

"For which business? Marketing or his hand massages at the spa?"

Top Shelf did a sharp turn back to Sniff.

"Wait? You have two jobs now?"

Sniff made an awkward, almost shrug like, motion, and gave an embarrassed smile.

"Egh, I didn't have the time to get that far into everything, but yeah. Mayor Mare just so happened to be fortunate enough to be my first client for both businesses. Or, at least, she will be my first client if I get the gig. I still need to go over all the details and put together a presentation for how we can market this."

Mayor Mare placed her elbows on the bar, folded her hooves over each other to rest her chin on, and swooned over Sniff.

"If your eye for advertising is as skilled as your hands are, then I expect even more great things from you."

Welp... there was no easy way out of this one for Sniff, so he continued with a neutral smile.

"No way of knowing until I see what you got for me."

Phrasing?

Mayor Mare grinned, "Oh, Peter. I can't wait to give you everything I have."

No, seriously. Phrasing?

Before Peter could fuck up with another accidental double entendre, Mayor Mare laid a stack of documents on the bar and turned to Top Shelf.

"I'll have whatever he's having."

Thankfully, once the books were cracked open, it really was all business with them. Most of it was the background of the Wonderbolts, their most predominant fliers, what their shows were like, and prior shows done in the area.

Sniff also took a look over the posters used to advertise their shows. They were all well done and dynamic in their own minimal stylized design but had a lot of room for improvement.

Eventually, they were about three drinks in. That might not have been much for Sniff to handle since Top Shelf was cutting the alcohol pretty thin for ponies, but Mayor Mare was feeling the effects.

It had been nearly an hour, and Sniff figured that he had everything he needed to get started.

"This is all great stuff, but it sounds like they're already pretty popular, so getting them interested won't be a problem. This is going to be more about putting together a new advertising campaign. See if we can expand to new ponies who haven't caught on or bought into the shows."

Mayor Mare hummed and extended a hoof over to Sniff's hand.

"Well, then, if the business chatter is over, why not tell me a bit more about who I'm working with? What can you tell me about yourself that I don't already know?"

Sniff smiled, albeit visibly nervous as he did so, knowing he’d have to tread lightly here.

"Uh, I'm human, but you knew that already."

Top Shelf chuckled, intentionally trying to worm her way into the conversation for Sniff's sake.

"I think everypony knows that by now."

Sniff needed to think of something a bit more bland to limit this mare's advances.

"I'm helping Rarity design a new line of clothing," he hastily responded, realizing all too late how those clothes were tailored toward his taste.

"Really?" Mayor Mare inquired with great intrigue. "You have an interest in mares fashion?"

Even Top Shelf had to know more about what that entailed.

"You're helping one of Equestria's top fashion designers? Okay, this has got to be good if Rarity is seeking inspiration from a non-pony."

Now Sniff was stuck between damaging his relationship with Rarity by talking down his designs that she was invested in or screwing himself over by flooding the market with even more temptation.

"It's still in its early stages."

The lack of information only increased Top Shelf's interest.

"Well, don't just leave us hanging. What does the clothing line look like?"

Thinking back to Oven Fresh's fitting raised the danger levels for Sniff, and he had to move the conversation away from too many tempting thoughts.

"It's kind of a mix of pony leisurewear and some of the more popular human fashion. Lots of style, flair, poppy... You're probably better asking Rarity about it. I just know what I like to see on women back on Earth and what they like to wear."

Mayor Mare went looking for a compliment by asking, "Anything you think I would look good in?"

A thud of something hard striking the floor and a clank of metal on metal drew everyone's attention to a white female pegasus guard standing at attention behind them.

"Ambassador Peter James. Specialist, Swift Sails, reporting for escort duty."

Taking this as an excuse to vacate and not giving a proper explanation while thanking whatever god existed in this world for the timing, Sniff stood up and apologized.

"Ladies, my apologies. I forgot about having an escort scheduled for me tonight."

He shook Mayor Mare's hoof and dropped a small bag of bits on the bar.

"I'll get to work on this tonight, Mayor, and send you over what I have in a few days. Topsy, great service as always."

He started to walk out, closely following Swift Sails, and continued to speak too loudly to let the others get a word in edgewise.

"Drinks are on me tonight, plus twenty-five percent tip. Put the rest on my tab. Have a good night!"

Before the two mares knew what happened, Sniff was out the door, and they were left stupefied.

Why had a royal guard shown up? What could have happened that he required an escort? More importantly, what kind of clothes did he help design?

"Drats," Mayor Mare grunted angrily. "What terrible timing."

She turned back to the bar and reached for her drink but saw it was empty.

"Another, please."

This was an odd position for Top Shelf to be in. She had always been on good terms with the mayor, who would stop in on occasion, but she had essentially already aligned herself with Oven Fresh.

At the same time, Sniff might have been lying about intending on his meeting that night to be all business for all she knew. That meant he was up for grabs if he wasn't committed to any mare just yet. If that was the case, and Cerb was going to be taken off the singles market...

"Should I pour this one a little stronger, Mayor?" Top Shelf asked.

Mayor Mare frumped her chin onto the bar.

"If you think it will help."

Okay, even if Sniff was up for grabs, Top Shelf couldn't leave the mayor like this.

"Are you going to be alright? I thought this was supposed to be a business meeting for you two tonight. Maybe he didn't pick up on it, but even I could see you were interested in more than just working with him on the Wonderbolts Air Show."

Mayor Mare groaned and folded her hooves under her chin.

"Do you know how long I've been the mayor of Ponyville?"

It was a rhetorical question, and she didn't wait for an answer.

"Years. Over two decades, I've governed over this wonderful little town of ours. Every drop of gossip and every crush or engagement has come across my desk or been brought to my attention. I can scarcely think of a single marriage I haven’t known about or conducted over. But do you know how many times I’ve heard gossip about some stallion that had his eyes for me or was searching for the courage to ask me out?"

That may have sounded like a rhetorical question, but Top Shelf wasn't sure, and after sliding over the next drink, she asked, "Did that happen with Peter?"

Mayor Mare took the glass and both hooves and knocked it back, downing it in one go. She slammed it back down on the bar, then, with an angry glare, she told Top Shelf, "He noticed me in ways no stallion has. Not once, never in all my life has anypony—"

With a bitter scowl, she pushed her glass to be refilled.

"Before Peter arrived in town, I was the old mayor of Ponyville. Single and married to my work. Peter… he didn't see me as some old mare. To him, my eyes were bright and alive. He told me he thought I was a younger sister of Twilight’s. Even if embellishing, there was no insult or empty words to what he said. He made me realize just how alive I am."

Her face showed an angry sense of longing. The alcohol had really loosened her lips.

"And how his hands made me feel. I felt… even here tonight, still. My body feels twenty years younger."

Top Shelf thought she must have misheard that last statement.

"You mean you feel twenty years younger?"

"No," The mayor persisted. "I am not young any longer. I have known the strains of stiff muscles and tired, achy joints. But after one session with Peter at the spa, I feel revitalized. I could probably run a marathon."

Top Shelf couldn't hide her skepticism.

"He can't be that good."

Mayor Mare leaned hard into the bar with a look that practically did all the gloating for her.

“Peter’s commission from our session alone probably paid for all our drinks and your tip tonight, and I’d be willing to pay more for another session because he is that good, and he's worth so much more.”

That was the last thing Top Shelf needed to hear for her to come clean.

"Mayor, " She posted her front hooves on the bar, closed her eyes, and sighed before attempting a heart-to-heart. "—you're a little late to the party on Peter."

"Excuse me?" Mayor Mare replied, sounding insulted at the undignified remark.

Top Shelf lowered her head down on her forelegs she folded under her chin much like Mayor Mare had.

“Oven Fresh has been seeing Peter almost regularly since maybe even before the Welcome Party Pinkie Pie threw for them in town. And rumors around town are that he’s been spending a lot of money on what everypony can only assume are gifts for Twilight. Knowing all that, it’s likely that he only took the job offer at the spa because he needed to pay off all the expensive gifts he is having tailor-made for her. So it’s easy to assume that he is either interested in either Oven Fresh or Twilight. He might even be interested in both since he took Oven Fresh to Rarity’s to get a new wardrobe.”

That brought Mayor Mare down particularly harshly.

“So… another twenty years it is for me. I never even stood a chance.”

Top Shelf stood up and started to pour two drinks.

“I never said that. I only said that you're late to the party.“

She finished overpouring the recommended alcohol amount in both glasses. The bar was dead, close to closing, and her tip for the night would cover what she planned on pouring. Plus, it was obvious the mayor needed this.

“Lumberman has obviously been claimed by Applejack, and he is certainly sweet on her. Chris has only been seen with Starlight or Cream Heart, and it’s clear that at least Cream Heart is looking for a new special somepony. Although, she might not be the only single mother in town looking. Her and a few others have been seen hanging out with each other with Chris as early as Cerberus fighting the guards in town. I'm sure you heard about that.

Top Shelf took a drink from the strong cocktail she made for them. Strange how the flavor and the burn it gave was completely different now that her mood had changed.

"Speaking of Cerberus, he has only been seen with Fluttershy and Rarity and has even gone on a date with Rarity. He might even be taking her out again once he gets back. The only one we don’t really know about is Benny. He’s only been in town once without an escort before the party and hasn’t been out since. All we know is that Pinkie went with him out into the Everfree Forest... but this is Pinkie we’re talking about.”

Mayor Mare took her doubly strong cocktail with an appreciative nod.

“So, we’re not without hope, then?”

Top Shelf lifted her glass to toast with Mayor Mare.

“Not yet. We just need to be smarter than all the others in town, rushing the castle, hoping they can find an in with them... We already have ours.”

Mayor Mare took hold of her glass and toasted it with Top Shelf’s drink.

“The Elements already have so much. It’s about time we’re allowed to get something for ourselves.”

They shared their toast and a long sip together before Top Shelf had one caveat to add.

“The Elements... that I can understand, but Oven Fresh deserves a chance. Possibly more than either us for all she’s had to struggle with.“

She gave the mayor a moment to think that over while she took another long sip.

“All three of us have been without a special somepony, but you’ve been a successful mayor, and I haven’t had to work too hard to get where I am today. But Oven Fresh… she’s had it rough and only recently got to a good place with her family again. She’s had to work so hard for so long, and I've never seen her so happy... I wouldn’t want to take this away from her."

She went to take another drink but stopped abruptly.

"Nor you either for that matter… or me… but if Oven Fresh has won Peter over, or is going to, then I really hope Cerb is still single when he gets back. I don’t have an in with Benny."

With one last silent toast, the two mares downed the last of the drinks, hoping for whatever chance they might have in the coming weeks.

Twilight was sitting anxiously with Rainbow Dash and Rarity sitting across from her in a triangle arrangement around the campfire.

“Why am I so nervous? I’m so nervous!”

Rarity was busy fiddling with more sketches for future designs from Sniff’s inspiration.

"You’re nervous because nothing bad has happened. That’s how these things work with us. Either it plays out to one big nothing or an all-out disaster. From what you told me, this was almost an all-out disaster but turned out to be possibly the best possible outcome. You just can’t get over the fact that despite all the things that could have gone wrong, and by all rights should have... they didn’t.”

Rainbow Dash followed up with the same mentality.

“Yeah, it’s just like me and Starlight getting into a fight. You were more freaked out when you found out that things between us were better after beating the crap out of each other than you were when you found out we fought in the first place.”

“That’s not—" Twilight stopped herself when she realized it was true. “—Son of a bitch.”

Rainbow Dash dipped over, laughing obnoxiously.

“Oh, yeah. Now you’re getting it.”

Rarity tried not to be distracted by the unnecessary levels of laughter until she saw Dash’s intention and played along.

“So tell me, Twilight. Peter seems to fancy a mare in a short skirt over a fancy dress. Would you like me to design you one?”

That came completely out of left field for Twilight, though it managed to get the mare’s full attention.

"What? Sniff likes short—"

"Skirts!" Cerb shouted loud enough to make Twilight jump out of her seat and teleport ten feet above the campfire in a protective magic bubble.

After catching her breath, Twilight started to float down, her horn glowing and her heart racing. She stared at Cerb’s shit-eating grin as Fluttershy and the others all laughed together.

“Goddamnit, Cerb! You scared the bejeezus out of me.”

Fluttershy walked up next to Cerb, moving just as quietly when Twilight couldn’t hear them approach.

“Well, maybe next time you’ll keep the rest of the overwatch posted where they’re supposed to be so that we can’t sneak up on you.“ She looked up to Cerb with a gleeful smile. “Right?”

Cerb nodded and met Twilight by the campfire as she landed.

“No overwatch overhead. No roving security covering my egress from the forest into the campsite. No security that cared to make sure I wasn’t a bugbear sneaking in to take a bite out of your backside or give me the challenge and pass to make sure I wasn’t a changeling.“

He shook his head in mock disappointment, “Couldn’t even secure the campsite for me.”

Twilight didn’t know if she should be upset at Cerb for scaring her or herself for slacking off.

“But? We’re done? Aren’t we?”

That was only half true, and Cerb could see where she was coming from but had to correct her.

“Ah… I see. You think that just because we got everything collected that the mission’s over?”

It didn’t take a genius to realize Twilight’s oversight.

“It isn’t… is it?

Cerb didn’t want to make Twilight suffer any more than what he imagined she would beat herself up with, as it was. He playfully grabbed her horn between his thumb and index finger, then wiggled it for a few shakes.

“Training exercise, Twilight. The mission isn’t over until everyone’s home, but it’s your call on how serious you want to take this."

Fluttershy extended her hoof and lifted up Twilight's chin.

"It's okay. He just wanted to have a little fun with you. He's not mad or anything. So come on, have dinner with us."

Next to the fire, Rarity pulled out a basket and started to pass out everyone's meal.

"This might not be as fancy as last night's dish. A hearty salad and some more eggs for Justin."

As they all sat together, Cerb opted to lighten the mood by making a confession.

"I think with a little better planning, I would like to do this again."

All four turned to him with questionable looks, to which he decided to walk back his statement.

"Or maybe we just go camping. I'd be good with that."

Ever been doing your job and someone comes up and acts like you don't know what you're doing? Ever been doing your job and someone else in the same profession tries to tell you that you don't know what you're doing... and they're wrong?

Not so fun. However, at least for Lumberman, it seems to have worked out in his favor. So long as he doesn't end up with a dog turd on toast.

Also, poor Nurse Redheart. Somehow she got mixed up in all this now, too. That, and she's without her good hoof now. So... that suscks.

Then there's Sniff... poor poon hungry bastard can't catch a break. Not that deep down inside the only break he really wants is from abstinence.

Honest question, who wants Sniff to break down, and if so, with who? Just curious.

Otherwise, Cerb and them aren't out of the woods yet. Getting close, and who among them wouldn't be excited? Bon Bon is collecting her intel, some pegasi are getting some good training experience, Rainbow Dash will be able to hang out with Becky again, Twilight can patch thing up with Sniff, and the trio of Cerb, Flutters, and Rarity can spend some more time getting closer and trying new things. Pretty much everyone and everypony and waiting on pins and needles to get back.

But, the night isn't over just yet, What else could possibly happen? Find out in the next submission in Chapter 59. The Power of Touch: How Will They Really Feel?