"Hellllloooo?! Any human home?!" Rainbow Dash's voice called out from the hallway outside Twilight's study.

She opened her ears and let them search for a response, finally catching Spike's voice up a level.

"We're all in Becky's room, Rainbow!"

Rainbow Dash's face lit up, and she turned back to Twilight.

"Ya hear that? They're in Becky's room! Beat ya there!"

Twilight rolled her eyes and sighed.

"I'll be up there shortly. You go on ahead."

Just as Rainbow Dash had taken off, a voice from down the hall called out.

"Hey, Rainbow!" Starlight shouted, only managing to catch a glimpse of the pegasus’s vapor trail, "Nevermind. I'll find out later."

"Starlight?" Twilight popped her head out of the hallway. "Oh, good. You're here. Who else is all here?"

Starlight lazily walked up to Twilight, floating a crystal out in front of her.

"Not many of us here right now. Lumberman and Applejack dropped Becky and Kelly off a while ago. So, it's just been them, Spike, and me. Well, there's also the Night Guards Luna left behind for us, but they're kind of….weird. I mean, bat ponies are weird, to begin with, but Midnight Flash seems like he could be fun once he opens the bottle of Ba-"

As fun as this story was, Twilight didn't leave herself a lot of time to hang out, thus quickly cut Starlight off.

"Starlight, the humans? Sniff, Chris, Lumberman. Where are they?"

"Wow, somepony's cranky." Starlight groaned as she walked past a grumbling Twilight into the study. "Lumberman went back to Applejack's, I dropped Chris off at the arcade, and Sniff went out to Grapes and Olives for dinner. Said he was meeting up with that nice baker, Oven Fresh."

Twilight slowly turned back into the study, her mind quickly processing what she’d just heard, even though it was old news.

"He... He's meeting her for dinner? Like a—"

"Flowers, for you," Starlight cut off Twilight's potential freak out, pointing to another spot in the room. "A gift from Sniff himself. He plans on giving them to you when you come back... Spoiler alert, he got you flowers."

Twilight trotted up to her desk and looked over the beautiful bouquet. A collection of red and violet chrysanthemums and hydrangea.

"Why would he get these for me if he's going on a date?"

Starlight placed her crystal down and gave a weary sigh before joining Twilight at her side.

"Maybe it is a date; maybe it isn't. I don't know, and I didn't ask. But whatever it is, he made the reservations the same time he requested dinner be sent out for you and the rest of them out in the forest. He even took the extra effort to make sure the bread for the bread bowls were made fresh for all of you. Oh, and by the way, I didn't get one."

Twilight wasn't sure why he would have left her out.

"I'm sorry, maybe he forgot?"

Starlight rolled her eyes, not sharing her friend’s optimism.

"Twilight, what's your favorite soup?"

"What?" Twilight asked, not knowing why the sudden interest.

Starlight asked again, "What is your favorite soup that you like to eat?"

"I dunno?" Twilight answered, sounding a little annoyed. "Uh, broccoli and cheddar is good... Wait?"

Starlight did a slow turn away back to her own desk, trailing away with an 'I got you,' kind of smile.

"Two bottles of rum and another of whiskey. That was the bribe it took Sniff to get Italian Stallion to change their dinner menu. Oh yeah, I wanted to ask. Those tarts you had for dessert tonight, were they any good? I never had them before."

"The tarts?" Twilight asked, now thoroughly thrown off track. "They were great. Just like the ones in Canterl—"

"Who else had one?" Starlight asked, just as coy and gloating as before.

"Everypony had one," Twilight quickly answered. "We all got our dinners delivered in little to-go... boxes... He—"

"He only got desserts for you, Twilight," Starlight said, answering her own question. "Thinking about it, if I had to guess, I would say that Sniff really likes you if he's trying this hard to make you not hate him anymore."

"I don't hate him!" Twilight shouted as if frightened by the accusation.

The shout caused Starlight to giggle.

"I know that, but I don't think he does."

"Ooh," Twilight groaned. "Now, I really need to make it up to him."

Something Starlight was hovering suddenly caught her eye.

"Is that Chris's smartphone?"

Starlight turned with a devious smile, "Why, yes. Yes, it is."

"Why do you have—" Twilight shook her head and started to trot over to Starlight's desk. "What are you doing with his smartphone... and what is that... thing?"

"What? This?" Starlight looked over to another electronic appliance from the human embassy. "Chris called it a CD player. It can play music like their smartphones and wagons can, but they need these coffee coasters like disk things."

She popped open the lid and pulled out a CD, showing off the shiny reflective side. Then she showed off the other side. It had a label with a black royal crown and the letters 'N' and 'D',' side by side. There was a bunch of other writing in the same fancy font Twilight didn't bother reading.

Too excited to continue gawking at the disk, Starlight went on to continue explaining, "CD is short for compact disk. He said a bunch of other stuff about it, but I stopped listening when he said the music is played off the disk by a laser."

The word laser immediately sounded off all sorts of alarms in Twilight’s head.

"A laser!"

"A harmless laser," Starlight clarified. "It's only strong enough to reflect light or something like that. But... I have it because Chris and his friends need power at their embassy-house and don't have a lot of fuel for their generator. So, I'm trying to find a way to give them the power they need."

"Oh... And how is that working?" Twilight asked, levitating the CD in her magic to examine it.

"So far?" Excluding the giant fireball she created, she had other failures she could reference but wasn't about to. "Not so good. I tried to power a light bulb and that burst like a glass balloon. Then I tried to power an old vacuum Chris said Benny wouldn't miss if I broke it... I sure hope he's right, cuz that sum bitch melted with the quickness."

"Did you just use another one of their curse words?" Twilight asked with some criticism towards her pupil.

"Yeah, but it's not bad," Starlight said with a grin. "Sum bitch is what you say in place of whatever you're talking about. Like that CD you're looking at, I could just say, look at that sum bitch you're holding. And that's totally different from saying son of a bitch."

"Okay," Twilight huffed, still not quite convinced, and placed the CD back in the player. "What exactly is a bitch, and why are we talking about their son?"

Starlight snickered at the over-complication.

"It's just an expression. You say it when you're angry or just realized something bad happened. So... Oh! A good example, you could have said 'Son of a bitch,' when you agreed to that terrible bet with Rainbow Dash."

Twilight was in no mood to be reminded of that bet since it made her think of Sniff.

"Okay! Enough with human curse words. What are you doing with Chris's smartphone anyway? Or is that also going to bring up more curse words and my stupid bet?"

"Well..."

Starlight brought the phone up to her muzzle and unlocked it with her lips, looking just as comical as it sounds.

"I can't really remember how I did the spell that put Chris's music in the Apple I ate—"

"And threw up all over Pinkie," Twilight added, getting her own jab in.

Starlight grumbled something inaudible before getting back on track.

"Yes, that did happen. Thank you for reminding me. But, whatever spell I cast, it only partially worked. I think I tried to transfer his music over to the apple like I would with actual sounds, like a voice capture spell. But that's not at all how the music on these smartphones work. Chris said they're actually all digital files and not files like you would read on paper. A file is a long script of code that holds all the information of the sounds that make up the music, the name, all its attributes, and even who or what can play it."

"That doesn't sound like a file at all." Twilight suddenly had an epiphany. "That sounds a lot more like—"

"A spell! I know! Isn't that cool?" Starlight announced, stealing Twilight's thunder. "So, at first, I just tried to copy the code for the music from the script and put it in a crystal, but it wouldn't play. So, I thought it needed all the information to work. So, I tried again with all of the code. But that didn't work. Then, I remembered the files don't play music by themselves."

Starlight pressed a button on the screen, and her favorite song in the world started to play.

Twilight was in awe.

"That...That's my voice. That's me— us, singing."

Starlight paused the music.

"I love that song, but it needs a program to interpret them, just like some spells need an enchanted item to cast them with the desired effect, or how the smartphone with the program casts the music through its speaker."

Starlight was suddenly giddy and excitedly shaking in her seat, "Soooooo, I did some translation spells and combined them with some text copying spells annnnnnnnnnnnnd!"

Twilight looked to her side to see the crystal Starlight had lit up and was tapping with her hoof. Then, the same song started to project from the glowing shard. It even had the same piece of art of Starlight and all her friends in cartoon form jumping up in celebration together. There was also the text 'S5 finale SPOILER' scribed on the picture, but she didn't know what that meant. What was important was Starlight had found a way to recreate the human's technology.

"This is amazing! This is... I've never seen magic used like this in such an advanced way!" Twilight was doubling up with backflips in her mind over how incredible this was. "I know you had the thing with the apple, but what inspired you to even think about doing this?"

Starlight shrugged.

"I did it because I thought Chris would like it. Maybe even Benny, too. He really likes his music, from what I hear. And come to think of it," she turned to Twilight with a flirty smile. "Didn't Sniff have a lot of music on his smartphone that he enjoyed playing?"

There were no follow-up questions to help Twilight understand what Starlight was saying. Instead, she was right up in Starlight's face with a pleading look of desperation.

"Please! You have to teach me how you do this!"

Again, Starlight playfully giggled and gently pushed Twilight away.

"Thing is, the spell’s not done yet. It still needs some fine-tuning on how I transfer it. Right now, I can only transfer the codes that make the smartphone work, and that's super hard to begin with. Also, I can transfer maybe a dozen or so songs. Anything more than that, and it either won't start or stops at random. I think there are other scripts for programs that I'm missing that allows me to use more than one of the programs.”

After another few taps on the display projecting from the crystal, the vast running script of text could be seen. Had it not been for some additional enchantments, the scripts and codes of seemingly random text would have been mistaken as the works of a mad mare.

“Oh, yeah. I can copy over three of the scripts for programs, but only the music player will do anything. The other two won't work."

"Oh." Twilight sat down, suddenly not so excited. "Any ideas on how to make it work?"

Starlight moved the smartphone next to the crystal for comparison.

"Well, I thought I would try to copy over everything on the smartphone, but I'm having trouble with the capture part of the spell. I can do a translation and see all the scripts that make up the information, but there's a bunch of blank spots. Like, some files or scripts are... hiding from the translation spell. Which, I don't understand. Chris told me that everything I was looking for was there on his smartphone. If it's all there, what am I not seeing?"

Twilight sighed and stood up.

"Well, you're still doing an amazing job. Keep at it, and I'll see if I can help if you haven't figured it out by the time I get back from the Everfree Forest. Oh, and don't tell Sniff I saw the flowers. I'm guessing those were supposed to be a surprise for me?"

"Yeah, they were," Starlight nodded and tried to hide a light chuckle. "But, you would have been freaking out if I didn't tell you how hard Sniff was trying to impress and-or cheer you up."

"Gah!" Twilight huffed and tried to play it off as if she were offended. "You're getting to know me too well. It's creepy."

"I know. Anyway, have fun out in the forest," Starlight said playfully, waving goodbye.

"I'll try," Twilight replied quite cordially in spite of the snark. "I'll just go and check on Spike and the girls, then head out with Rainbow Dash again."

"Goodnight, Twilight."

"G'night, Starlight."

Twilight followed the voices up to where she could hear Rainbow Dash going on about what's been happening.

"She's totally babying him," Rainbow Dash enthusiastically exclaimed. "Cerb is like, ten Earth ponies packed into a giant meat body with two legs and fists."

The whole room lit up with laughter, which was just about the time Twilight walked in.

"Evening, girls," she greeted them warmly. "How have you all been doing?"

"Oh, we're fine," Becky answered first before placing her hand on Kelly's leg. "A little shaky at times, but, you know. We're managing."

Twilight noticed the half-empty bottle of vodka sitting on the nightstand.

"Having a small party together?"

Kelly followed Twilight's eyes to the vodka bottle and tried to force a smile.

"Sorta. Lumberman left us so he can work on the house tomorrow, Sniff and Chris are out—" She caught herself just in time from saying 'pounding tail,' thinking better of the needlessly throwing out the insult. "—making new friends or whatever they're doing. Something about an arcade Chris was going to, and Sniff had dinner plans. He also said he was looking for..."

Spike perked up, remembering the request.

"Sniff was asking where he could find a blacksmith, a place to buy papers with fancy designs, and something called a lemonator?"

That was enough to jog Kelly's memory.

"No, a laminator. It's a machine that covers paper in a clear coat of plastic. Also, I doubt he'll find one, though."

“Such an odd list of things to request,” Twilight thought to herself before speaking aloud, "That's quite the list of things to look for. Did he say what he needed them for?"

Kelly shrugged, "No idea. I only know that's what he was looking for because I asked Spike if he knew what Sniff was up to."

Twilight still couldn't put together what Sniff was planning.

"Well, I hope he found what he was looking for. Anyway, I wanted to drop by and see how you all were doing. I admit, this field training exercise is a lot more boring than even I can handle. I thought there would be more to do, but most of it is just sitting around and waiting to get the next report about how nothing is going on, happening."

"Is Cerb really okay out there?" Kelly finally asked. "Not that I don't trust Rainbow, but she said there was something wrong with his leg that Fluttershy was worried about."

"Cerb is perfectly fine," Twilight confidently answered. "He was walking around like normal and didn't even stop at one of his checkpoints. We even spoke about it earlier, and he said he was doing fine, so I doubt there’s anything to worry about.”

"What about Mac?" Kelly asked. "He's not out there putting himself in danger, is he?"

"No, he's not doing anything like that," Twilight answered, just as confident as before. "Big Mac has been sitting around at the castle with us, though he’s only there to fill in with one of the react teams. So, he doesn't need to go out with the overwatch or recon teams. But that hasn't stopped him from training with that huge mallet of his."

"What kind of training?" Becky asked, intrigued.

"Oh, I can answer that one," Rainbow Dash gleefully jumped up to animate it.

"So, Big Mac was out in the courtyard, swinging away with his hammer like it was no pony’s business. Then out of nowhere, Onyx Armor comes stomping up and asking where he learned to fight where he could take out three guards. Big Mac took that as a challenge or something because he stood up big and tall on his hind legs, dropped the hammer down on its head, and leaned over Onyx's helmet. He said... get this, because it even got me nervous when I heard him say it." She leaned over, imitating how she saw Big Mac at the time. "I didn't need to train. Nopony fucks with my family."

"Woah!" Kelly lurched back on the bed. "You didn't tell me that happened."

Rainbow Dash dropped down to all fours and smiled, "I was get'n to it, but you asked about Cerb first."

Even if it was vexing at times, Twilight was curious enough to ask, "Is that a word you say when you're angry or when something bad happens? Starlight just told me about sum bitch and son of a bitch."

"Uhh." Rainbow Dash thought quickly how to best answer this question. "The way Becky explained it to me, the way Big Mac said it, he meant that nopony messes with his family. Like, hurting them or anything like that. But you can change that word up and turn it around like, 'if you lay a hoof on any of my friends, I'll fuck you up.' See?"

"Huh," Twilight rolled that word around in her mind for a second along with its possible applications, and then turned back to Becky and Kelly. "Your human slang language is so interesting in how versatile it is."

"I know, right?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "You can also use it to say somepony got the raw end of a deal or lost extremely badly at something. Kinda like how you got fucked over when you took that bet with me."

"Ahhh! I’m never going to hear the end of that!" Twilight shouted as she stomped out of the room. "Wrap it up, Rainbow. We're leaving in five minutes."

Rainbow Dash giggled and then turned to Becky with a devious grin.

"Hey, watch this." She cleared her throat and then shouted out to the hallway. "Don't forget you still owe me a hundred bits!"

Twilight's angry growls echoed from down the hall.

"Gah! Son of a bitch!"

Becky was almost in tears but held her laughter down to a low chuckle.

"Dashie, you need to stop fucking with Twilight so much."

Rainbow Dash was all too proud of herself and a little more excited to continue her education into foul language.

"Oh! I need to tell her how to use fuck like that, too. Thanks for the reminder." She jumped up and gave Becky a strong hug goodbye. "Sorry, I can't stay longer. I'll make sure Cerb and everypony else makes it back safe as soon as possible."

"Thanks, Dash," Becky hugged her back.

"You keep getting better, too, Kel," Rainbow Dash said, moving over to give Kelly a gentler hug goodbye as well.

"I will," Kelly replied and gave Rainbow Dash a soft hug in return. "Tell Mac and Cerb that I'm still thinking about them, and if they come back hurt, I'm gonna beat their asses."

"Ha! I will," Rainbow Dash said, pulling away from the hug. "You all have a good night."

Soon after Rainbow Dash left the room, Becky was starting to feel tired, given the long day she had...that and the vodka, of course.

"Hey, Kel. You want me to crash here with you tonight?"

"No," Kelly said quietly. "I appreciate it, but if I need you, I'll just cross the hall and bug ya for a bit."

"I gotcha girl," Becky said as she stood up. "Let's try and do something tomorrow. Get our minds off all this."

"Sure," Kelly said, saluting with the bottle in her hand.

"Well, it's getting late," Spike said. "I think I'm ready to call it a night, too. And thanks again for not making me play dress up like Lumberman said you would."

Kelly couldn't help but laugh at Spike's childish behavior.

"No worries, Spike. But, could you do me a favor?"

"Oh? A lady in distress," Spike hopped down from the bed and stood at attention with a cute little salute. "What can I do for you? Need something to eat? Or maybe a—"

"Just a letter I want you to send for me," Kelly answered.

"Oh," Spike said, disappointed in the simplicity of the request. "Uh, the post office is closed, but I can take it down for you tomorrow."

Kelly reached into her nightstand and pulled out a folded-up piece of paper.

"Luna said you can send letters to her for me. Can you send her one now?"

Spike took the letter in his claws.

"I guess so. What's it say?"

"Uh-uh," Kelly jested, waving a finger at him. "You can't just go around asking what's in people's mail, especially a young lady’s."

"Right," Spike nervously laughed. "Sorry. I'll send it right now."

With a quick inhale, Spike aimed and engulfed the letter in green flames, sending it off to the Princess of the Night.

"Alright, sent. Anything else I can do for you?"

"No," Kelly lowered her head and slid down under the covers. "That was it. Thank you, Spike. You're really nice."

"Thanks, and no problem. You're pretty nice, too... Goodnight."

"Night, Spike."

"Thanks again for the tequila, Woody," Applejack cheered, giving a toast with her bottle.

"No problem, Apple Hat," Lumberman cheered back.

Applejack opted to eye her bottle as opposed to acknowledging the now common naming jab. She was starting to like the new pet name.

"So, what's the occasion? Are we celebrating something special?"

"No," Lumberman answered rather flatly before taking another sip. "Just didn't feel like staying sober tonight."

"Sooo," Applejack set her bottle down on the table next to the couch they were sitting on, her previous enthusiasm gone. "Are we not drinking to celebrate nuthin?"

"Nah," Lumberman tried to downplay his plans for the evening. "I just didn't want to keep my mind hung up on everything while I'm out here with you tonight."

"Alright, partner," Applejack spoke up in a strong voice as she scooted closer to Lumberman. "Time to have a talk with yer good ole honest Applejack. What's got ya feeling the blues tonight?"

"Come on, Apples," Lumberman moved to block her from getting too close but couldn't hold his resistance for longer than two seconds before he gave in and dropped his defenses. "Alright... I just feel like... everyone is splitting up all of a sudden. And it's nothing bad, but... I'm feeling like I'm being left out. Ya know?"

"If yer feeling left out, why did ya up and leave the girls at Twilight's?" She asked like it was a rhetorical question. "Ya coulda just hung out with 'em."

"Nah," Lumberman pulled away from the question. "Kelly wasn't reaching out to me. She wanted to be alone, and I wasn't going to force myself to stick around if she needed time to herself. That, and Becky was there. She's more concerned about Kelly than I am, so... why stick around there and leave you behind?"

"Well, I coulda stayed there again," Applejack suggested.

"Yeah," Lumberman reached over her shoulder and pulled her in under his arm. "But I know you'd rather stay here... That, and you don't like the idea of others seeing ya leave my room."

"Well, it's—" Applejack choked on how to explain herself. "—I don't mind so much if it's Fluttershy or Rarity. They seem to understand what I'm going through... Even if I don't fully got my head wrapped around it yet. But," she gave an exasperated sigh. "—Gosh darn it. I hate that I... I feel like I'm keep'n ya away from all yer friends, and so I feel like I should not cling so close to ya... But..."

"It's fine, Apples," Lumberman said, rubbing his hand up and down her side. "I like spending time with you. You and your family."

Applejack leaned further into Lumberman's side, laying her head over his chest and a foreleg over his lap.

"Woody... we all appreciate whatcha been doing fer us, what with the house and all. Plus, Big Mac and Granny know how ya been taken care of me. We really do consider ya to be one of us Apples. And I know ya don't care nuthing for your real family, and ya got Kelly and Cerb and all them... but ya got a family with us, too."

"I know," Lumberman said, taking another sip from his bottle as his companion kept talking.

It was difficult for Applejack not to gush about how she really felt about Lumberman.

"After ya picked me up and stopped me from blubbering out in public, Big Mac thinks the world of ya. Ain't no pony ever stepped up and took care 'uh me like you have 'cept him after we lost our parents. Granny let ya shack up in here and spend all this time with me without given a huff or a spit even once. And even Apple Bloom looks up to ya like another big brother for all ya been doing for her. Even the way ya been treat'n her has put her from acting up to acting proper again. Woody... just short 'uh saving the world or rescuing the farm, yer the best thing that's happened tuh us. Certainly, the best thing that's happened tuh me outside uh meeting the girls and saving the world... when saving the day wasn't so hard."

"Apples—"

"I know, I know," Applejack whined. "I'm 'uh... I'm uh broken record over that. But I just can't shake that feeling I had. Not just that I failed to wake Kelly up. It wiped us out. Dun left us powerless... useless... Kelly was gonna die the first day under our care, under my watch, and even if it killed me... I couldn't save her. And you would'a lost her like y'all kept losing yer friends and family buh'fore... like I lost mine."

"Hey, come here," Lumberman gently instructed as he pulled her up into his arms and held her. "You know you saved her, right?"

"I do now, yeah. But—"

Lumberman caressed her back and rocked her slowly.

"Then you don't have to hold onto that. You know those feelings are wrong because we didn't lose Kelly. You think you didn't do enough, but ya did. We all know it. And you know I ain't lying to ya about it. I know how hard you had to try. That's why I've been doing so much for ya. Yer worth it, Apples. I'd bathe ya in that dirty ass water all over again to prove it to ya if I had to."

Applejack choked out a laugh at the mention of that particular memory.

"Best bath I ever had."

Lumberman snorted.

"Doubt it."

"Psh, I'm being honest," Applejack jokingly answered, earning another chuckle from Lumberman. "Yer the one telling stories. I couldn't talk you into a bathtub with me if yer clothes were on fire."

"How big are the flames?" Lumberman joked.

Applejack snickered.

"See. Told ya." Applejack slumped down, pushing Lumberman onto his back, and laid on his chest. "But that's okay. I don't need to be dirty to have you take care 'uh me."

"I got you, girl," Lumberman said, stroking his hand down through her mane.

"Not that I'd mind, though," Applejack huffed. "It was nice being pampered and such. Feeling safe from the world. Wrapped in your arms. Kinda wish ya never did let go."

"Apples?"

"Sorry, Woody." Applejack nuzzled a teary eye into Lumberman's chest. "I'm always feeling like I'm one slip-up away from fallen back into that helpless, weak mess I was in. Except for when I'm with you. With you... I'm not scared. Which is silly, being how I've never been much of a scaredy-cat, and the girls have always had my back."

"But this was different," Lumberman said, wrapping his arms around her tighter. "I don't know how you girls always save the day. That's the kinda shit Chris or Becky would know. I could care less about the show Chris and her are into. But I know from just being with you, you'd be just fine without me."

Applejack gently flexed her fetlock into Lumberman's leg, "Maybe, but I'd rather you stay, anyway."

"I'd rather stay, too," Lumberman hummed happily.

Applejack snickered and tugged at Lumberman's shirt.

"Why you so chipper all of a sudden?"

Lumberman stroked his hand down Applejack's mane again.

"Apples... You know how hard it is to find a chick as cool as you?"

"What?" Applejack laughed. "Woody? What in the heck are you talking about? I'm over here blubbering and pleading my heart out, and you just go off and... What in the hay are you... Are you messing with me?"

"Suh-prise, Apple Hat," Lumberman bopped her on the nose. "Sometimes, even in our darkest moments, something grand can happen. In this case, it's me telling you even when you're down and out, you're the only pony I want to hang out with. And I'm hoping you hearing that cheers you up because yer a hell of a lot more fun when you're happy while drinking tequila."

Applejack drank in Lumberman's little speech and thought about what he was saying. All of which emulated out as a smile and weak huff as she nuzzled back into his chest.

"What the fuck kind of response is that?" Lumberman joked his complaint with a smirk.

Applejack grinned and hugged tighter around Lumberman's chest, "What? I'm happy now. Lemme just lay here comfortably until yer ready to go to sleep so I can get my thirty minutes of hands-on me time, and we can call it a day."

"Wait here till bedtime and call it a night," Lumberman huffed in mock annoyance. "Shit. I know we worked all damn day, and yer tired, but all you want is a few sips of tequila and a human pillow for maybe an hour before we clonk out for the night?"

Applejack grumbled and rolled over on her back, wedging herself between Lumberman and the back of the couch.

"Well, maybe I am tired, and this is all I'm up fer doing if you ain't want'en tuh try and have a good time."

"What? No. I said I wasn't drinking to celebrate tonight. I'm down to have a good time."

"Agh'ck... Well? What'd ya have in mind fer having a good time and enjoying yerself?"

"I dunno. Low on gas. No power at the house. Everyone else is out doing something... Guess we could—"

"I'll take my thirty minutes now."

"... Or we can do that."

"You spent how much on her?!" Oven Fresh yelped and almost dropped the cups of coffee she was levitating over.

Sniff shrugged, clearly not seeing the cause for the overreaction.

"Three-hundred and twenty bits… and three bottles of booze. But some of that was also for the food for everyone else."

Oven Fresh steadied herself at the front counter and gave Sniff his coffee.

"You just got here? How can you afford all of this?"

Sniff took a deep breath and blew on his coffee before doing his best to explain his situation.

"Well, I can't give you all the gruesome details, but my friend Kelly was attacked by one of the Royal guards our second day here."

Oven Fresh stood silent, trying to remember which of the female humans Kelly was. Was it the one that was sick or the one who couldn't walk properly?

While she should have asked, Sniff paused long enough to sample the hot coffee and put it down before continuing to give details to help her understand.

"There's a lot of stuff about this world that I don't understand. Thankfully, my friends Chris and Becky know a lot about this place, almost to an uncomfortable extent, and they explained the backstory. Something to do with a previous student, Celestia had that turned traitor and escaped to another world—"

"Sunset Shimmer?" Oven Fresh asked. "That's the only pony it could be. My mother told me stories about her. Though, wait, I heard she vanished years ago after causing a huge disturbance at the castle. She was extremely dangerous. What does that have to do with Kelly?"

"Well, I was getting to that." Sniff took another sip of coffee. From what I understand, when Celestia first heard about us showing up here, she thought we might be working with Sunset and, maybe, were here to finish what she started? I still don't know what the Sunset villainess pony was trying to do. But anyway, one of the guards was getting the Element ponies and came across Kelly and Applejack. They thought she was up to no good and tried to grab her."

"Oh, my goodness," Oven Fresh reacted as one would expect, full of sympathy and concern. "What happened?"

"I wasn't there for it." Sniff went to take another sip but hesitated and put his coffee back down for his explanation. "Kelly had no idea who the guards were or why they were there. So she got scared and ran to Big Mac for help. Once she got her arms around him and begged him not to let the guards take her away... one of the guards stabbed her in the chest with a spear."

The color drained from Oven Fresh’s face, her mind quickly forming a visual of the experience.

"What?! They... stabbed her?!"

Sniff continued with his face showing there was no sign of a happy outcome.

"They almost killed her... Big Mac didn't know how badly she was hurt, but it didn't matter at that point. He beat the fuck out of those guards."

Oven Fresh put her coffee down, completely floored by this information.

"I can't believe... I remember hearing...There were rumors about Big Mac having a fight with some of the guards after they hurt a human... but..."

"Don't get too worked up over it," Sniff said, taking another sip from his coffee. "Twilight and all of them used their rainbow magic special to heal Kelly and save her from bleeding to death. But, considering all the trouble we were given, not to mention everything Kelly had to go through because of those stupid-ass guards, we were given a bunch of bits as compensation. That, and we showed her that not only were we not involved with Sunset whose-er-fuck, but were simply some law-abiding citizens with no idea where we were that we're actually good people and wouldn't be a threat while we're here."

Oven Fresh was starting to see why Sniff was reacting the way he did towards Twilight, along with why he was going all out to try and apologize.

"So, Twilight helped to save your friend's life?"

Sniff nodded, skipping over the other details about how much it hurt them in the process with the magic exhaustion.

"They all helped save Kelly, but Twilight had a lot to do with it. She's actually done a lot for us since we got here. Pretty much the entire reason me and my friends and I are getting all the help we have. And I feel terrible knowing how much she keeps doing for us. That wouldn't be such a big deal, but we tend to make things difficult on accident. Even if we do a pretty good job at making up for it, we’ve caused her more than what would be considered a fair share of stress. Probably thrown her whole life off track."

Cautiously, Ovens asked, "And after what happened, between you and her this morning, you've been doing all you can do to smooth things over?"

"More than just that," Sniff sighed. "She's been a great friend to all of us. Really took a personal interest in us. Even stuck her neck out with some of the other royals to keep us in their good graces. And, I know how you ponies put such a huge emphasis on friendship; I don't want to ruin what we have and keep her mad at me... It... It...it tears me up inside when I hurt someone like that. Especially a woman with a good heart."

"Peter?" Oven Fresh spoke his name with a weak smile.

"Yeah?"

Oven Fresh looked up to Sniff with the cutest face.

"Have I ever told you that you are the most amazing stallion I've ever met?"

"What?" Sniff chuckled. "Because I'm trying to be a good friend?"

"More than that," Oven Fresh giggled. "I've come to know a lot of nice stallions. Plenty of them were kind and decent—"She had another short-lived giggle fit. "—ut you put them all to shame. I can't imagine anything you could do or say to make me chase you off like Twilight did. I don't think she knows just how lucky she is to have a friend like you."

Sniff smiled and hummed in approval.

"Thank you."

Oven Fresh smiled again, this time with more alluring loving eyes.

"Or how lucky I am to have the first chance with you. She's really missing out."

"Nah-Nah-Nah," Sniff protested playfully and waved his hands to dismiss her. "She's not missing out on anything. She's got nothing against the whole inner species matchups, but me and her are just friends. Believe me, she really doesn't like anyone talking about her love life or pushing one on her."

"All the better odds for me then," She said with a seductive wink. "But seeing just how amazing of a stallion you are, and knowing all the work you've been doing to make everypony around you happy—" She rolled her eyes and blushed. "—and the extra business you threw my way this afternoon. I want to do something extra nice for you."

"Ovens," Sniff wheezed her name as he grew short of breath from the overwhelming affection he was taking in. "Stop it. You can't keep showering me with all these favors and free food. I feel like I’m taking advantage of you at this point."

"No free food rewards this time?" She asked in a cutesy voice that sent shivers down his spine. "Hmm... Well, then how about you get to pick out the next skirt I try on?"

"Ovens."

"Here." Oven Fresh turned and trotted up to a door on the far side of the room and opened up to reveal a set of stairs. "There's better lighting upstairs."

"What are?" Sniff's question was cut short when Oven Fresh started up the stairs without him. "Okay... I'll just follow you up there. Not like I'm locked in down here anyway."

The stairs were a bit more challenging to climb up than the ones in the castle. These were smaller and probably better suited for a pony not of royal size, which apparently is a thing. But as he got to the top and rounded the corner, he was surprised to see that the entire upper level of the property was an open loft she was living in. Essentially, one large bedroom with a nook.

She was standing under a light in front of a tall mirror, looking over her outfit again.

"I thought that if you're going to pick out a new one for me to try on, you should have a better look at this one to see what you like most about it."

She turned her side to the mirror and gave her ass a little shake in his direction.

"I think I should probably get one a lot shorter to better show off my cutie mark. What do you think?"

"I’m thinking I’m really not ready to be in your bedroom," Sniff answered nervously.

Was he nervous, or was it excitement? Maybe both?

"Don't be so modest," Oven Fresh laughed off his uneasiness.

"There's nowhere to sit downstairs, and the lighting is so dim at night down there. Plus, my whole home is my bedroom up here. I just want you to take a look and tell me what you'd like to see on the next one."

She looked to the corner of her bed near the mirror, "Have a seat. I won't bite."

Sniff crossed the room with a bevy of thoughts as to whether or not what he was doing was a good idea. As it was, though, his desire for her attention and approval joined forces with his fear of upsetting her if he declined. He took his seat as instructed and waited for the fashion show to start.

"So, what do you like about this one?" She asked with innocent optimism. "Does the saddle go well with it, or do you think I could do without?"

"I think it's all looks great-it all looks," Sniff answered, stumbling on his words while trying to keep his eyes focused on appropriate areas.

Oven Fresh giggled again as he squirmed

"Wow, you must really have a thing for these little skirts. Would it look better if it was shorter like this?"

Caught up in his own distracted mind, Sniff didn't avert his eyes from the skirt hiking up high enough that it exposed the lower divide between her legs.

As he stared at her careless exposure, his mind started to run through familiar thoughts of what to say to further his seduction.

"I'll take that as a yes?" Oven Fresh coyly answered.

That was enough to snap Sniff out of his lustful haze and focus somewhere else other than her posterior.

"Yeah-yes. Sorry. Oh, gosh. I can't believe I got sucked in like that. That's so not like me."

"Oooh?" Oven Fresh was finding some twisted pleasure in taunting Sniff with showing off her skirt if he liked it this much. "There's that handsome smile again. I knew you would like this. It’s so refreshing to find a stallion that can appreciate the effort a mare goes through to look nice for him."

Oven Fresh turned to get a better view of her cutie mark in the mirror, still only partially showing under the hem of her skirt. At the same time, ignorant of her lack of modesty, the turn she took only gave Sniff a better view of her backside.

In his head, he was at war with himself.

"Why am I checking her out? She doesn't even know what she's doing. But god damn, if that skirt isn't sexy as fuck. But she's not even fucking human. Even if her—" He took another glance under her tail. "Jesus Christ. It might as well be human by the looks of it. But God damn, she's so cute and Goddamnit. Why the fuck am I like this? Why do I always—"

Needless to say, it wasn’t a war he was winning.

"Peter?" Oven Fresh sweetly called out to him, finally catching his attention. "Wow. If I didn't know any better, I'd say I could have you follow me anywhere if this skirt got any lower."

She finally took notice and saw the burden weighing down on Sniff's mind.

"Do you not like it that short? I can keep it longer if you're that particular about the length—"

"No, Ovens," Sniff spouted abruptly, trying to reign in his carnal desires. "I do like it."

He dropped his face into his hands and rubbed his eyes like his vision was the problem, "Gah. Ya know... I really don't know how I'm supposed to be giving a pony fashion tips or anything, but do you ever wear any panties with those?"

For a moment, Sniff could see Oven Fresh mentally flex on the word.

"Panties?"

Sniff suddenly wondered if that wasn't a thing at all for them or just a wrong term to use.

"Yeah, you know… Underwear? A slip? Briefs? Any kind of cloth coverings that go over everything under your tail?"

Oven Fresh did a slow take from her backside, back to Sniff's face, her skirt, then one last time to her backside before snorting and cracking up in a loud laugh.

"You mean like a diaper? Pft. I'm not a foal ya doofus. I'm a big mare. I know how to keep myself clean. Why? Do you wear anything like that?"

Sniff looked at her like she just told him she could shit rainbow sherbert.

"Wait?" Oven Fresh looked down at Sniff's pants, thankfully not noticing his erection, then back to his face. "Do you?"

"Yes," Sniff answered flatly, any excitement he’d been feeling immediately extinguished. "We all do."

Oven Fresh hoped he was leading her into some kind of joke.

"Do you not know how to clean yourself?"

"Yeah," Sniff sighed, already knowing what was coming next. "Really wasn't ready for this conversation."

"Look," Oven Fresh spoke up, clearly uncomfortable herself. "I don't know how cleaning yourself could be a problem. And even though you're not a foal, I can walk you through the process of—"

"No, goddamnit," Sniff cut her off. "I know how to clean myself. I assure you that everything down here is as clean as a whistle. I'm just not used to ladies exposing their hoohaas."

These human words were really confusing the poor mare.

"Who?... A wa... What? Hoohaas? Is that what you call a vagina on a human?"

"Vagina, yes," Sniff answered, hating himself in the process. "I'm just being colorful with my language. It's just weird seeing yours."

"Excuse me?" Oven Fresh yelped, now looking more than a little offended.

"Oh, for the love of fuck," Sniff grunted in frustration as he continued to choke on his own foot. "I'm not saying..."

Oven Fresh lowered her tail back down close against her and spoke up, sounding hurt as if she’d just been slighted.

"Does it look weird... or bad?" She looked up to him, not being able to hide how having her body talked down made her feel. "I'm sorry if how I look bothers you. I don't know if it's because I'm a pony or you just—"

"Stop... Stop right there, please," Sniff strained his voice, now really feeling like he was doing her wrong and ruining what had been a great night. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with any part of your body. I actually think it looks—" As soon as he started that sentence, he knew he fucked up, but had to go with it at that point. "—very nice."

As much as she liked and wanted to believe Sniff, she couldn't see how that was a compliment.

"Thanks?"

"Okay, I'm gonna be straight with you, Ovens." Sniff prepped himself for how he was going to explain this without shattering her child-like innocence. "This is strictly a difference in cultures we have. Obviously, you ponies don't cover yourselves up. We humans do, and it's not about keeping ourselves clean... and why was that your go-to response?"

Oven Fresh started to relax, seeing how whatever this was, it was some kind of miscommunication.

"Well, we don't have a reason to cover ourselves most of the time. When we're young and not potty trained, we wear diapers—"

Sniff wanted to slap himself. She was really going to be breaking it down so simplistically even a child could understand.

"I'm familiar with the practice. It's the same for us as babies, but continue."

"Right. Well, when ponies don't need to wear a diaper and know how to make sure they’re clean after going to the bathroom, we stop wearing them. Because at that point, we're not going to make a mess every time we sit down. Or Celestia forbid, somepony bumps into another pony's butt, and they haven't... yeah, it's bad. But it happens with some of the younger foals when they're still learning. Otherwise, we only cover up if it's something we have to wear for a uniform or if we go swimming. I don't know how uncomfortable it is for humans having a sandy vagina, but its—"

Sniff laughed just hard enough to interrupt Oven Fresh's explanation...as well as internally cringing at that last visual, which sounded quite painful.

"It's so bad that when a person is in a really bad mood, we ask them if they have sand in their vagina. So, yeah. We know it's no picnic."

"Oh..." Oven Fresh thought about that and eventually laughed as well. "Yeah, that's pretty funny, actually. I'll have to remember that. But, just so we're clear. It doesn't bother you that I'm not covering myself up?"

"It does, but not for the reason you would think," Sniff answered, sounding not very confident she would accept a vague statement like that.

There was something about Sniff's response that wasn't clear based on his reaction. She could tell he wasn't mad, and he didn't appear to be grossed out or have anything negative against her. It almost seemed like it was something he himself was embarrassed about.

"Can I ask why?" She carefully inquired.

Now Sniff was really walking on thin ice.

"Weeee... normally only see a vagina if we're in a romantic relationship with that person."

Oven Fresh saw this as something worse than she had thought, and her whole persona dropped.

"Oh... So it is because I'm a pony."

"A person or a pony, in our case," Sniff clarified before remembering they just finished a date. "And... Awe, fuck it. Ovens... I liked what I saw. Yes, you're a pony. I didn't know how to react to me wanting to..."

"Wanting to what?" She asked, half insulted and half confused but still trying to hear him out.

Sniff was now really in between a rock and a hard place. Unfortunately, the only exit he could see was letting his weakness guide him to where he knew he shouldn't go.

...God help him.

"I have a feeling that what I was thinking about is something you've probably never had done to you. And I'm afraid to even bring it up or try to explain it without showing you."

"Showing me what?" Oven Fresh asked, now more confused if it was something she was going to be shown instead of having explained.

Time for Sniff to work his magic...oh this was gonna be so awkward.

"Let me ask you something first. How much did you enjoy the massage I gave you earlier today?"

"It..." Oven Fresh thought this was some kind of distraction to get out of explaining himself, but she was willing to let it slide for the moment if it meant another massage was being offered. "It was something I wouldn't turn down again. That's for sure."

Sniff lightened his expression with an airy kind of smile.

"Well... we have another kind of massage we do with others that we become intimate with. We don't do it for just... anypony... But I don't know how you would feel about me, as a human, being the one—"

"Peter," Oven Fresh interjected with an exasperated smile and a little excitement on her face. "I most certainly do not have a problem with the fact that you're a human. But... intimate?"

"Yeah," Sniff replied, leaving the question open for her to clarify how she felt about him. "And I get it. That's a big step beyond just having a date, and this is a very special type of massage that's better than anything I gave back at the spa."

"How... much better, exactly?" Oven Fresh asked, not able to hide her interest.

"What Aloe got...wasn't even close to what I wanted to do with you," Sniff told her with an embarrassed smile.

He was doing it. He was drawing her in. Even against his better judgment, going against his every protest and insulted reaction to every joke cast his way. For all the cracks made about him being the thirsty poon-hound, he was proving them right by willingly and intentionally seducing this mare friend of his into letting him please her.

And it was clear Oven Fresh was very enticed but still had no idea what she was being drawn into. Was the massage supposed to be given to her vagina? That was a question he asked during his demonstration. Was that a thing humans would do intimately but not at a spa? Why would they do that? But if his normal massage was as good as she remembered, and what Aloe got had to have been better... and if this could help get her closer to him?

"Can you show me?"

"Ovens," Sniff spoke with a reserved tone, trying to play both bashful and concerned. "I have no idea if you'll enjoy it, but I don't want you to have me start and then think I'm weird or gross and stop spending time with me."

"We can start slow," Oven Fresh offered, still just as excited as she was nervous. "If it's not something I like, we can just stop, and I won't hold it against you... Different cultures and all that. There's bound to be somethings that don't match up, and that's okay. I'm willing to see how this is going to be if you're doing it."

"Okay," Sniff accepted her terms. "Then, just lay down on the bed like you would if I was giving you a normal massage."

"Okay, I'll just—" She jumped up on the mattress and started to lay down but stopped halfway with her forelegs down and her ass in the air. "Oh, do I need to take the saddle and skirt off?"

Sniff looked her over in that position. It felt so wrong, but some part of him needed this.

"Uh, just the saddle... I do have a thing for skirts, after all.

"Right," Oven Fresh huffed as she removed the saddle, tossing it to the far side of the bed and laying down. "Is this good?"

She was lying down on her belly, her forelegs extended, and her rear legs stretched out behind her. And looking her over again, there was something about their anatomy, that when Sniff examined it, there was something familiarly human in appearance. Not entirely, but just enough to not distract him from his interest.

"That's perfect. Now, I'm going to start slow and work my way up. But, if you want me to stop, just say so, and I will."

"Emm-Hmm," Oven Fresh nodded, "I trust you."

Sniff's hands started first on Oven Fresh's left back leg, just below the knee, kneading his thumbs down her calf. After he worked his way down to her fetlock, he did the same to her right leg. She was already calm and relaxed enough for him to work up to something more.

He started by running his palms up the back of her thighs and up under her skirt. He dug his fingertips under the waistband and traced them over her hips.

She gave her first moan from the treatment, his magic touch doing precisely what he hoped it would.

He continued on, working his hands up to her lower back, pressing in along the sides of her tail up into the base of her spine.

It must have been a sweet spot, making her raise her rear end up against his hands. Thinking he had her in a good place, he dug his hands down and sculpted them over her ass cheeks.

She gave a soft giggle, but no protest, a wordless acknowledgment for him to continue.

Slowly and gently, he continued to work her glutes. Rubbing his thumbs up and over the meaty mounds and gripping them firmly with a slow clench of his hands, only releasing as he rotated his palms.

After a few good rubs, he started to move deeper to where he knew would really get her into the experience.

He moved both hands back to her left leg, wrapping them around her hamstrings. Gently, he gripped the flesh and slid his hands up until the index finger was pressed into her pelvis.

This is where he finally made his move.

Very methodically, he began to massage his fingers back and forth, working his way from her inner thigh up over the edges of her outer labia.

Again, she stirred in a pleased reaction from the contact. Only this time, it was with a sharp inhale of her breath and her body tensing.

"Was that too much?" Sniff adoringly asked.

"No," Oven Fresh answered in a near whisper. "I just... wasn't expecting... are you going to put your hands on my—"

She drew a sharp breath again when Sniff's fingers slid further over her pubic mound, "I know I told you we keep ourselves clean back there but—" Again, her body tensed, and her voice cut off with a near-silent gasp. "—that's still a dirty place to touch a pony."

Sniff slowed his methodical workings and spoke in a soothing voice.

"There's a lot more to your body than I think you know there is. And I'm willing to show you if you let me."

In the brief moment of listening to her slow, controlled breaths, his consciousness hit him hard enough to derail him from his lust for her attention and praise.

"...But we're going to have to start a lot slower than this."

Suddenly, the fault of Oven Fresh's apprehension towards Sniff's offer came to light, and she wasn't ready to give it up.

"What? No. You can—" She could feel his hands moving further away from her mound and instead were moving back over her hips and around her flanks. "—You don't have to stop. I was just getting used to it."

Conflicted or not, Sniff countered with his own reasoning.

"Ovens, my girl. This is all on me. I offered you something you weren't ready for. And I'm sorry, but your reluctance to accept it makes me uncomfortable. So, how about for right now, I just practice something else with you? I actually plan on doing some part-time work at the spa to cover my extra spending as of late. You'd be doing me a favor."

"I'm sorry," Oven Fresh whined as she lowered her face into a pillow. "Did I ruin it?"

Sniff leaned over her from behind and continued working his way up her sides.

"No. I did. I shouldn't have expected you to... Actually, never mind that. Maybe in time after—"

"Can you tell me?" Oven Fresh moaned out her words in a mix of remorse and pleasure. "What should I do next time?"

He had done it. Whatever this gift with his hands was, he found a way to form an attachment that was so heavily one-sided.

Sort of.

Maybe?

Was this an abuse of power, taking advantage of her ignorance? Had he started to like her enough that he wanted to…

Why did he want to?

This wasn’t right if she wasn’t on the same page as him.

"Where I come from, this is kind of normal for us," Sniff told her, working down her lower back again. "I shouldn't have expected you to just let me take care of you like that. And that's my fault for being too excited to have that again. I miss sharing that and being the one to give that service."

She blew it. Sniff had offered her something important to him. Something that felt amazing. And even worse, she wasn’t some foal still learning how to use a toilet. She was no more or less hygienic than any other pony. Even if the concept was odd, she shouldn’t have let her insecurities stop her from learning something oddly unique about his culture. It could have brought them closer together if he wanted it so badly.

"We can try—"

"The next time, just as you did tonight, be honest with me," Sniff interrupted her, not wanting to allow her to talk him into trying again. "And honestly, maybe I'm not ready either. And no, not because you're a pony."

Oven Fresh lay there under the attentive treatment of Sniff's talented hands. She couldn't turn down anything he was giving her now, but that special intimate massage he tried to give her, what was that building up to?

It had so many layers to what she felt. It was warm, if not burning hot. Even for how soft his touch was, the sensations were so intense that they were almost overpowering. There was also how breathtakingly pleasurable the sensations were that excited her. There was something frightening about allowing him to explore that part of her. Even she didn't know much about...

Come to think of it. He had said there was more to her body than she knew. And if what he could do to her now was unlike anything else she felt before, he had to know what he was talking about.

Part of her could still feel him there. His fingers cresting closer and closer to that new feeling that paralyzed her. It left a painless ache that told her how badly she wanted him to continue. Even her heart seemed to welcome the experience, though her mind warned her that whatever he was doing was wrong. Not to be touched in a place that could be so dirty.

But she wasn't dirty. She took very fine care of herself and was exceptionally clean after doing her business. She was a baker for crying out loud, and would never allow herself near her food or the kitchen with even the faintest traces of filth on her.

That settled it.

She wouldn't let her concerns about something so trivial stop her next time. Whatever this was that he wanted to share with her, she was going to make it happen. All she had to do was figure out how to get him interested and willing to try again.

"What's holding you back?" She softly asked as she melted into the bed.

"I've never given this to anyone who didn't want it, nor anyone I thought wouldn't be better off for it, learn from it, or understand what I was trying to show them… But then again, I have a different mentality than most when it comes to this. Even if I am a bit selfish with what I get to enjoy from it."

That was another avenue for Oven Fresh to venture down.

"What do you enjoy about it so much?"

Sniff smirked, "I get pleasure from the pleasure of others. Seeing them happy and enjoying themselves. Helping them see a better version of themselves. Letting them know where other people see them isn't what they should hold themselves to."

That sounded way more involved than what a massage could provide.

"And that's what this is supposed to help me see?"

"This is… was, supposed to show you what being close and open with someone can feel like. That there's a lot of good things out there to look forward to."

That explanation gave Oven Fresh some confidence and calmed a lot of her concerns.

"Would it be too much to ask to go skirt shopping with me tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?"

Sniff pulled back his hands, running them down the entire length of her back, down to her skirt's waistband, and took a quick look at her peekaboo posterior.

"How short do you wanna go?"

“Hey, Apples?"

"Yes'm?"

"How old are you?"

"Wut?"

"Yer age. How old are you?"

"Twenty-Eight? Why?"

"Just trying to get to know you better."

"Oh... How old are you?"

"Believe it or not, I'm also Twenty-eight. When's your birthday?"

"Early spring. You?"

Lumberman snorted before he laughed and playfully pushed Applejack away near the edge of the bed.

"No. Yer birthday. Not what time of year."

"What?"

Applejack didn't know what kind of joke Lumberman was trying to pull on her.

"It's like I said. Early spring, that's when I was born. How much more specific do I have to get? You want which part of the growing season it falls under?"

"Growing season?" Lumberman chuckled. "What? You go by how tall the corn is?"

Applejack bopped Lumberman on the top of the head with her hat. "Corn's planted in the summer, ya scrub."

"Fine, soy, tomatoes, banana peppers, whatever. I mean month and day, genius."

"Oh, okay. The first month of spring and uh... two days after the equinox, or so I'm told."

That only served to leave Lumberman stumped as he tried to figure out why she was so elusive with him.

"Equa? Oh! I get it, yer testing my farmer's knowledge. Yeah, I gotcha now. Let's see, the equinox that's ahh... March twentieth, so you were born March twenty-second. You're older than me by a month. My birthday is April twenty-eighth."

"I'm older than you? I'd uh figured you to be older than me given all that scruff on yer face. And what's with the words and numbers?"

"Oh, shit... You must have different names for your months than we do."

"But, you know what spring is?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, what about summer, fall, and winter?"

"Yeah. We got those."

"Well, there's yer months.

It was at this point, Lumberman realized he wasn’t going to figure this out with Chris there to walk at least one of them through an explanation.

"I get the distinct feeling we're both missing something here. But I'm too tired and too sober to deal with that… And what's with your ears flipping out?"

Was that happening right now? Applejack needed to slip away, or she might end up doing something she’d regret… and not even be able to explain.

"Just uh… Restless, I guess. Mind if I slip out and relax in the tub fer a bit? I'm just not all that sleepy yet."

"Yer bed, your house, your rules. I'm not going anywhere."

"Don't wait up on my account, Woody. I'll try not to wake ya up though when I come back in tuh bed."

Applejack grit her teeth and cursed under her breath, "Rotten, no-good, trifling two-bit, fucking wet mess of uh… golly… Of all the rotten shit-stained bedsheets of life's pass-me-downs of luck. Why do them hands uh his make me need uh Wonder Rush so bad fer?"

She gave a long sigh and then slid into the gradually filling bathtub.

"I sure hope being underwater don't make it any harder to get this over with. Not that I could see why it would be‘en how Woody's hands..." She gave another long sigh as she traced her hooves down her inner thighs.

"What I wouldn't give to have him scrub me down again."

Twilight finished looking over the last report she would take for the night and yawned.

"I can't believe how there's virtually nothing happening. Overwatch hasn't reported seeing a single dangerous creature, and the recon teams have only seen a few tracks. I would have figured they ran into something by now. At least something bigger than a squirrel."

"Excuse me, Twilight?" Bon Bon made herself known as she walked towards Twilight's desk. "We finished up early with prepping the supplies carried in. Is it okay if I log the inventory sheets? I'd also like to review the logbook for any other entries submitted for our team."

Twilight yawned again before pushing herself away from the desk, yet still managed a grateful smile in spite of her obvious exhaustion.

"That's great news, Bon Bon, and please do. You've been such a big help keeping track of everything coming in and making sure the supplies are being properly taken care of. You really have some great organizational skills."

Bon Bon shrugged and played it off as if it were no big deal.

"Thank you, but this is not so different from running a business. Supplies come in, you take inventory, prep them, store them, and verify everything you should have on hoof before you verify the sign-off on the records so you don't lose anything."

Twilight smiled as she passed the helpful mare, again thoroughly impressed with her rather thorough cataloging abilities.

"Well, don't stay up too late. We still have a night watch roaming around the castle, but I'd rather not have anypony left alone for too long if we can avoid it. I'm going to turn in for the night."

"I won't stay up too late," Bon Bon said assuringly as she watched Twilight leave the room and quietly then said to herself, "I just need to see what's really going on out there."

Left unsupervised, Bon Bon began to review all of the day's notes and log entries.

Twilight, blissfully unaware of the spy in her midst, ventured down into a large room that likely used to be the guards sleeping quarters.

Somehow over the unrecorded years of neglect, very little decay had taken place in the castle, and the beds were still usable. Luckily enough, there was more than enough for all those attending. Twilight had a bed reserved for her near the end, placed between Helix Ray and Benny, with Pinkie Pie sleeping one bed beyond that.

In the low light, Twilight could see the faintest of reflections from Benny's Mossberg tucked under his pillow. She gave it a short glance, still trying to understand how that weapon was supposed to be utilized.

The long hollow tube and wide stock on the end made it appear as if it were some kind of club. But the handgrip Benny carried it with gave off the impression it was more of a baton. Yet, the way he carried it, it would have looked like it was supposed to be used as a lance.

Regardless, it didn't seem like he would be needing to use it any time soon. What he needed right now was the same thing she would be sharing with him. And that was some much-needed sleep.

Twilight closed her eyes and relaxed, content to let the night take her, finding the bed surprisingly comfortable. Maybe some slight adjustments were needed, and she turned to her side but felt as if somepony was watching her. She opened her eyes to see Luna, almost nose-to-nose with her.

She blinked once, wondering how and why Luna was there.

"Oh, hi, Luna." After a second of thought passed, Twilight finally mentally processed the significance that Luna was there. "LUNA!"

Twilight flung herself back, tumbling out of her bed and tumbled to the floor, leaving the Princess of the Night chuckling at the sight.

"Good evening, Twilight. How has your training exercise been going?"

Twilight crawled up to her bed and hissed at Luna, "What are you doing here? I could have woken up—" She could see every bed was empty. "Where is every… I'm asleep, aren't I?"

Luna gracefully kept her bemusement to a low giggle but said nothing else.

"Thanks for the warning," Twilight grumbled as she stood up. "But, yes. Things are going well, and I'm learning how boring it is to have plans go smoothly."

Luna grinned, "Is that so?"

Twilight sat up on her dream bed, taking in the familiar sites.

"The only thing that's happened was Cerb and Fluttershy stopping early for the night. She was worried about his leg again, but he seemed fine to me. What about you? Do you have anything important to pass on to me?"

Luna almost felt her heart clench at the hope and desire in Twilight’s voice. She really was that desperate for something to do.

"I am unsure, my dear Twilight," Luna answered with a heavy heart. "Celestia is hiding something. Dare I say; she is plotting something. Of what, I cannot say. And I will need your help investigating something for me."

Twilight raised an eyebrow curiously.

"And by investigating, you mean—"

"I want you to discover the secrets of those mirrors my sister and Starswirl the Bearded created together," Luna firmly stated. "I have asked her myself, as the topic came up amongst a great many other of things. Sadly, all I was able to take away from my efforts was the ringing in my ears and a sore throat from our screaming matches."

Twilight's eyes went wide.

"You two had a fight over this?"

"Indeed," Luna answered, not mincing words. "It would seem she is very human herself in the way she guards such secrets. And I wish I had more to tell you, but my sister and I have had little time together as of late. None of it cordial either. Perhaps your visit will put her in a better mood."

"Cheer her up and spy on her?" Twilight asked, already not enjoying the implications of what Luna was asking.

Luna sighed, "Tis much to ask of you, but I am sure your cunning mind will think of something. I do not claim to have the solution you require. And for that, I will accept any fallout that comes from this. I do not wish to hold such high expectations without proper guidance, as has been your fate as of late."

Wow, tasking with an honest assessment and realistic expectations. Twilight was impressed.

"I'll do my best, Luna."

"I know you will," Luna said, turning to open another rift through the dream world. "Sleep well. I'm off to visit a friend of ours."

"Another dream visit?" Twilight asked curiously.

Luna stopped short of exiting Twilight's dream and stood motionless, thinking some pleasant private thoughts.

"I had planned on visiting Rarity and Fluttershy, but I do not believe they have yet fallen asleep. Though, I can only ponder why that has come to be. Also, no. I shall be visiting this friend face to face. I will tell you more of it tomorrow if it becomes relevant."

"Are you still awake?" Luna's voice softly called out to stir the weary human.

"I am," Kelly answered. "I hope I'm not pulling you from anything important."

"Not at all," Luna answered with a smile. "I convinced two of the Night Court cases to settle things among themselves and offered to review another claim to see if... Well, I plan on paying for their claim myself. I suppose a night school for youngsters could use a new playground dedicated to them by the Princess of the Night."

Kelly sat up in her bed and offered a place for Luna to sit.

"Sounds a lot like you found a way to skate out of work."

Luna sauntered her way over next to Kelly.

"Tis a rather awful way of phrasing my clever strategies for transferring my responsibilities of the current scheduling to something to be dealt with in a timing more at my convenience."

"Tomato, Toe-mah-toe."

"Hmph," Luna mockingly turned up her nose. "And here I thought you would appreciate my efforts to visit."

"I do," Kelly replied with a sad smile. "I feel terrible for not going to Lumberman or Becky... Or even Chris... but..."

"Kelly, my dear." Luna pulled Kelly into her lap to let the recovering human lie down. "You need not explain yourself. We know of your concerns. You should not feel as if your burdens cannot be shared with your friends, but we are glad that you see us as the type of friend you can be so close to."

Kelly pulled herself in closer to Luna and hid her face in the soft fuzz of Luna's stomach.

"I wish Mac was here for me still, but I can't be this kind of close with Becky or any of them. I feel terrible using you like this."

Luna stroked a fetlock down Kelly's back.

"Using me like what, exactly?"

"Having you hold me like this," Kelly wrapped her arms around Luna and started to caress up and down Luna's back and sides. "Holding you like this."

Luna couldn't help but enjoy the soft touches that this human exchange was providing.

"Kelly, as I told you last time, I enjoy this. Your hands are truly something to behold. However, I am still confused as to why you find comfort in this when clearly I am the beneficiary of the exchange."

"If I can make you feel good and enjoy yourself, then I know you can comfort me, too," Kelly explained as she rolled her palm over Luna's hip to her flank, taking things further than she did the last time.

"When I'm with someone like this, I don't think about anything else... and without Mac here—"

Kelly thought again about what she was doing there with Luna. She knew it was wrong, but she needed someone to hold onto if she wasn’t going to have her other needs filled.

"I just need to feel someone against me," Kelly tried to explain, but the guilt was building up inside, and she moved her hands back to Luna's sides.

"I grew up feeling alone at home... I got so used to it that I felt alone even when I was with others. Just being around them didn't take away that feeling, how unwanted I felt. Even with my friends, sometimes wasn't enough, so I would find someone else to hold me like this. And when we were together, we would hold each other and... I needed them to touch me. You can't forget someone exists if you can feel them. You know they want you with them if you make them feel better; they hold you close. But even if it's just for the night, it's better than being alone."

"My dear Kelly, you are so not alone," Luna hushed. "You have so many friends that care about you. You have been so fortunate to even win Big Mac's attention. And extra especially Cerberus."

"But they're not here," Kelly whimpered, cuddling further into Luna’s soft fur.

"I know," Luna cooed. "They don't have to be so close that they can hold you to still be with you. But if you need somepony that close, I can be that friend for you now."

Kelly trailed her hand down Luna's lower back until her fingers traced over the base of her tail.

"Can you hold me until I fall asleep? Or use a spell that will make me fall asleep until they get back?"

Luna chuckled, "I think we both know that won't work, but I can stay with you a while longer."

The two shifted their positions on the bed so that Luna could lay on her belly next to Kelly, who would lie on her good side with her back facing off the bed. Once they were both situated, Luna draped a wing over her friend in need.

"Kelly?"

"Yeah?"

Luna thought hard for a moment about what she was about to ask but steadied her nerves and went with it.

"I know you've had a terrible start here in Ponyville, even if things are getting better now. But with the likelihood that Mr. Cerberus and Becky will be traveling to the Crystal Empire for their treatments, I would be more than happy to host you in Canterlot. You can even bring any of the others if you wish to."

Kelly fiddled with some of Luna's feathers that lay over her.

"That's very kind of you, Princess, but I think I need to stay here for a while. Not that I wouldn't love to visit. I love hanging out with you, and I think, in some way, you kind of understand where I'm coming from. Being alone and trying to escape our past. But there's so much I need to work on and fix here."

Luna held back her disappointment as best she could but was hopeful for what little she could have in the future.

"I will be delighted to have your company whenever you wish, and will always leave the castle doors open for you. Simply say your name, and I will ensure you are well taken care of during your stay."

Kelly turned over to her injured side, giving a muffled yelp as she did so.

"Kelly? What are you—" Luna was about to sit up to help Kelly stop from whatever she was doing that was causing her pain, but was held in place by Kelly's arms wrapping around her neck.

"It's okay," Kelly whimpered into Luna's neck. "I don't care if it hurts. I'm not letting go until I fall asleep."

"But Kelly. You really shouldn't—"

Kelly spoke suddenly as if whatever Luna was saying wasn’t important.

"I don't know what Mac was thinking."

Luna was bewildered by the statement.

"I'm sorry? I'm afraid I don't know to what you are—"

Kelly’s words came out slightly muffled, "That night with him, when you kissed... he should have never let you go. You're a keeper. More than a princess or the crown you wear. More than a rock star and all the fame and wealth that comes with it. You're something special even outside of all that."

Luna took a moment to process what Kelly was saying. When it all came together, she smiled contently and lowered her muzzle to nestle around Kelly.

"You are too kind to this old mare," Luna hummed, not even caring about the reference to her admittedly substantial age.

"Just don't tell anyone about this," Kelly giggled. "I can only imagine the rumors that would start and how jealous Big Mac would get."

"Hmph," Luna huffed with amusement. "Let them say what they will. I'm a princess, and I can keep any company I wish... But for now, this can be our little secret."

"Thank you."

So, this chapter came out a few hours late due to editing delays (probably my fault).

Buuuuuuuuuut, BLAM!

Our three-parter has come to an end with the Princess of the night deepening her bond with Kelly. What else can be said for these humans and the tangled web they weave with their pony counterparts?

I dunno? You tell me.

But, aslo, stick around for some exciting developments in Chapter 55. Dealing With The Exposure of Secrets.