Starlight decided to take some time to collect herself and walk back to the castle after seeing the painful revelation of her misconduct. The thought of pushing herself on Chris like she had, drunk or not, made it feel like she betrayed him.

"Ooooh," Starlight groaned with her new dilemma. "What should I do? I know the fastest way to end a problem is to open up and force a resolution, but—" She felt a shiver of excitement thinking about what she did, which then settled into her stomach, twisting again. "I don't even know what I'm doing. Or what I did. Or why I did it."

Another thought started to bounce around in her mind.

"What if this is just a passing thing for me, but Chris would want to stay with me? Breaking up could ruin my friendship with him. And if I let that fall apart, I'd probably lose Rainbow Dash, too. And if I screw all that up, I'd probably lose everypony else. Probably the humans as well."

Throughout the slow trek back, Starlight continued to run through possible scenarios of what she could do and how they would play out. She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't notice her name being called out in the center of town. Not until they were practically shouting it in her ear.

"Starlight!" The familiar voice called out to her.

Starlight jumped back, assuming she had cut some pony off or almost walked into them.

"Sorry! Excuse me!"

It was Miss Cheerilee warmly calling out to her, "What? Noooooo. You're perfectly fine, my dear. We just wanted to speak with you for a moment. If you have the time, I mean."

"We, who?" Starlight asked, not knowing the entire group of mares standing behind Cheerilee were all together.

Sniff had been pulled into the discussion about how this universe may exist and was flexing his brainpower to make sense of it all.

"So technically, we're not in the show because none of you are cartoons. I mean, you are all just as real as us. Albeit, real-life versions of what the show has you looking like."

Chris saw them a bit differently.

"They actually look a lot more like real-life versions of some of the fan art. Which, yeah, is based on the shows' style, but still."

Twilight was still fighting the idea that her existence was based on a televised work of fiction.

"None of that can explain how we've existed for thousands of years and have entirely different dimensions attached to our world. There's way too much in existence for us to be all made up. Not to mention the rest of our world that's out there that your show has never shown. There's a whole wide world outside of Equestria."

Chris was trying to work his logic without upsetting Twilight.

"And yet, throughout your entire existence, there has been no record of any creature bleeding. And even throughout your whole life, you can't name a single pony you've known to die, not to mention you don't have any curse words of your own. An entire vocabulary, but no swearing? But I'm not saying your existence came to fruition because there's a show about all of you. What we're trying to say is that it can't be a coincidence that all of these rules and elements of continuity that exist in the show are directly reflected in your reality. The only difference is that you look different."

Twilight was back to rubbing her temples in frustration and grumbling her words.

"I'll give you the not bleeding thing doesn't make any sense, and I can see why it would reflect on our world because those other people can't put blood in a kid's show." She moved her hooves back down to the desk. "But we ponies live very healthy lifestyles. And as Celestia said, we are very durable. And as for the cursing... We just don't have the need to say bad words."

Sniff, adversely, was trying to work the logic a little harder.

"Organ failure from old age, illness, accidents... In your twenty-plus years of being alive, you cannot recall or look up a single pony in the kingdom dying. With the exception of Applejack's parents. Of which, no record for the cause of death can be located."

Twilight hated having to repeat herself.

"We'd have to contact Mayor Mare for a death certificate. Or whatever that document you said is."

"As for the swearing," Sniff spoke up again, trying to keep on topic. "The bad guys. Evildoers of all kinds. They have no reason to be polite or use kind words when they're trying to enslave you or murder you, if they even could. Mass destruction, lives ruined, gross violations of common decency, and what we would call human rights... But won't say bad words?"

"That!" Twilight searched for a response, but there wasn't one to give. "I... don't know. I need to think on that one. But we are so off track from where we started. I just wanted to make sure we could trust the content of the show you have about us. So, is there anything else we need to go over for your concerns while you're here with us?"

Benny stood up from his chair, ready to leave.

"Nope. Nothing I need at the moment. And... sorry for frying your brain."

Sniff smirked.

"Par the course since we got here. Right, Twigs?"

Twilight didn't lift her head off the desk. She just rolled her eyes and grumbled.

"Should have kicked you in your sleep."

Sniff smiled and fought back his desire to laugh at Twilight's stress getting to her again.

"Oh, get over it, Twigs. We got things to take care of before Lulu wakes up."

Chris looked up to Sniff, a whirlwind of questions already brewing in his head.

"What kinda things? What did I miss?"

Sniff leaned his hip against Twilight's desk and tried to be as graceful as possible, addressing the developments that had gone down since yesterday's breakfast.

"Ah. Well, ya see. Turns out the seven of us getting mixed up—" He turned back to Twilight, who was slowly gathering some papers and pens for their outing. "—what are we up to? Twelve ponies, at least?"

Twilight looked up from her desk with a devious smirk.

"Yeah. At least twelve, not including all the local mares you've been—

"Twelve!" Sniff shouted. "Count'em up. At least a whole dozen ponies mixed up with us, and practically not a one of them relaying anything important to help all of us out. And, while granted, that's largely our fault; Princess and I are gonna go out and start taking care of a few things to get our shit in order. Plus, make a side trip or two, so we can make the best out of a bad situation. Rub a little dirt in Dash's eyes... Not literally."

Chris felt like this was some nefarious plot to get back at Rainbow Dash, and didn't want another fallout between friends to rise up.

"Hold on. You're not gonna do anything to start another fight, are you?"

"Of course not," Twilight answered with a snort. "I'm still going to be wearing the stupid dress. I'm just going to—" She slid her satchel over her back and looked up, thinking about the high hopes she had for Sniff's plan. "...make it work for me. Improve my image a little, and maybe even have some fun with it."

Sniff chitted, "Don't you worry about the whole dress thing."

He moved in such a way and postured to make it clear that this was going to be harmless.

"It literally won't mess with anyone. It's just gonna be something fun to do. The biggest thing we're gonna do is head down to the local hospital here and set up appointments for all of us." He quickly raised a hand to silence Chris. "Nothing bad. Calm yer tits. Applejack brought it up to me and Lumberman this morning. They want a baseline of our health in case we get sick or injured. That and they want some help understanding the med books Horse Doctor—"

"Doctor Horse," Twilight abruptly corrected him.

"Yeah," Sniff didn't fight the correction and started over. "Doctor Horse and Nurse Bedfart," He said with a smirk before quickly turning back to Twilight, waiting for her to correct him again.

Twilight caught onto the silence and looked up at him to see why he stopped talking. She gave a humorous snort with a big smile upon seeing his coy expression.

"What?"

Shooting her a playful and cocky look, Sniff asked, "Not gonna correct me on that one?"

Twilight finished tightening up the straps to her satchel and intentionally acted unphased.

"Hmm... Nope. I think I'll let that one slide for now. Just don't say it in front of the other ponies when we're with them. I don't think they like me all that much over there. Apparently, I'm—" She made air quotes with her wingtips. "—difficult to work with."

Sniff shrugged.

"Anyway... Twilight wants to find out what all they'll be wanting from us. Make sure everything's on the up and up."

Suddenly, Chris's vast knowledge of pony lore and fanfiction brought a proposal to mind.

"Hey, not that we're broke or anything at the moment, but if they're looking to study us, or pick Becky's brain for medical knowledge that would revolutionize their understanding of medicine... make sure we get paid for it."

"What?" Sniff snapped as if Chris suggested something entirely uncouth. "Dude. They're trying to help us. We're not gonna con them out of money for making sure we don't fucking die here."

Chris wasn't expecting that kind of reaction but also wasn't going to let up so easily.

"Hey. Woah. Calm down. I'm just saying their understanding of our biology could improve their quality of life by untold multiplications. Or, heaven forbid, be used to save any scores of their lives if anything were to happen to them."

Twilight and Sniff turned to each other, seeing the validity of Chris's idea.

"Plus," Chris went on to say. "Imagine they were in our world and offered up the same knowledge and a chance to study them. Would you be okay with just offering them a thank you and a handshake?"

Seeing the double standard, Princess mode activated.

"He makes a good point," Twilight lamented. "If no pony has any knowledge of blood-causing injuries, and we can learn how to treat them properly..." She shook her head, thinking of all the potential unknowns that lay ahead now because of their arrival - "Who knows how many pony's lives could be saved."

It took Sniff a moment to process where this was all coming from. He didn't expect Twiglith to make a turn so quickly.

"I thought that the whole ponies bleeding wasn't a thing here?"

Twilight answered softly, "It's not. Not until whatever brought you all here also injured Trixie. But even Starlight had a bloody lip from fighting with Rainbow Dash... Who knows how much worse things could end up getting if this becomes more common?"

As pragmatic as Twilight usually was, even her logical side was seeing more of the utility of this knowledge.

"Doctor Horse is one of the best doctors in Equestria, and he didn't know how to help Kelly when she was hurt... I think Chris is absolutely right. If what Becky knows could help save the life of even a single pony... that knowledge would be priceless to us."

Twilight had settled on the new prospect Chris suggested.

"I'll make sure you're all compensated for anything you do to help us with the doctors and their medical studies."

Feeling a little better about himself and the acceptance of his idea, Chris stood up big and tall.

"I'm not saying we need to get rich off this exchange, but maybe Becky could end up making enough to pay off all her student loans when we get back."

Even if there was merit to the suggestion, Sniff still didn't like the idea of profiting off such an exchange.

"Yeah, yeah, Cowboy. You're a regular Arabian Einstein."

Benny raised an eyebrow at that last statement.

"Did... you just make a legit, clean, My Little Pony joke?"

Chris feigned fear and shock.

"Oh, my god. He's becoming a Brony."

Sniff pretended not to be offended (mostly because he didn't want to admit that he basically was already a fan of the real Equestria) and turned to leave with Twilight.

"Oh, my god, Cowboy. You're a Brony because you love the show. I love the real thing. Huuuuuge difference."

Chris followed close behind Sniff with Benny next to him.

"Oh, come on. You're just a late bloomer. You needed a stronger dose of the magic of friendship to know who you really are."

As soon as Chris got outside the doorway, he was immediately greeted by his newest best friend.

Starlight warmly greeted Chris, "Well, there you are." She rolled her eyes with a goofy smile. "Would you be free for a couple of hours?"

Sniff obnoxiously jabbed Chris a few times in his side.

"Come on, man. It's the real thing. Forget the show and be like me."

Starlight could only imagine what that joke meant and how uncomfortable it was making Chris.

"I thought you might like to get out and stretch your legs for a bit. Get out and see some more of Ponyville. If you don't mind grabbing some tea with me?"

Chris was happy to accept and made a motion to the others.

"I... sure. You all don't mind. Do ya?"

Sniff gave Chris a firm slap on the back and said, "Nah. Twilight and I were planning on going solo together anyway. Covert ops kinda stuff."

"Pft," Twilight blew raspberries at his response. "A dress refitting and a trip to see the Doctor to schedule your checkup? Not very covert."

"Plus, the other thing we're doing," Sniff added.

Twilight chuckled.

"Hardly covert. More like a surprise."

This was all amusing, but not really, so Benny finally gave his answer.

"I was just going to head back to the house for a bit. I only now realized we never emptied the fridge... So... yeah... That's gonna be fun."

Given the all-clear, Chris piped up.

"Alright. Have fun with that mess."

Starlight jumped in, just as excited as Chris.

"Great, I'll take you there right now."

Chris looked down at Starlight and her horn that was now glowing.

"What do you—"

With a flash and a pop, Starlight performed the first teleportation spell on a human.

"—mean?" Chris finished asking the empty space Starlight once stood in.

He blinked a few times and stood silently like the others before realizing he was left behind.

"Did I just get punked?"

Another flash and a pop revealed Starlight back from right where she had just left.

"Okay! So, that didn't work. I guess we're walking."

Twilight was more than shocked to see that spell fail like it did.

"Starlight? Did you try to teleport Chris out to town just now?"

Starlight froze in mid-stride, fearing she might have done something wrong.

"Maaaaaaybeeee?"

"No," Twilight tried to put Starlight at ease. "I'm sorry. I guess you didn't hear. It appears our new human friends have a natural resistance to magic." She turned to face Sniff and tried to push him off balance with her magic but failed to do more than push him harder than a strong breeze. "And I guess you just confirmed that to be true for me."

Sniff darted his eyes nervously to where Twilight's aura was surrounding him only seconds ago.

"Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

Twilight didn't want to ruin the mode by falling into another fit of not knowing and shook her head.

"I... Let's worry about that later."

Not wasting any more time, Twilight started down the hallway.

"Come on, Peter. There's a big enough mystery around you and your friends as it is. This is just another piece of the puzzle that I can focus on once we take care of the plans we already agreed to this morning."

Sniff hurried down the hall to catch up to Twilight and turned to bid adieu.

"We should only be a few hours. Catch you all back here tonight?"

"Yep," Benny answered as he started down the hall behind him. "Just gotta take care of the spoiled food and all that fun shit."

Starlight shouted from down the hall, "We shouldn't be out very long either. See you back tonight!"

Chris started slowly down the hall, letting some distance grow between him and the others, wanting to figure out what Starlight had in mind privately.

"Soooooo, what's all going on? What all you got planned for the two of us today?"

"Oh," Starlight perked up with a glowing smile. "It won't be just the two of us."

"We, who?" Starlight asked, not knowing the entire group of mares standing behind Cheerilee were all together.

Cheerilee smiled and lazily swung her head from side to side as she explained, "Oh, you know," She motioned to the small collection of mares around her. "Just me and some of the girls in town."

Prim Posy, Berry Punch, Cream Heart, and Derpy all moved to the forefront. They bore the same forced, hopeful smiles. Except for Derpy. She seemed to sport the same blissfully clueless smile she usually had.

Now thinking everything was okay to get started, Derpy stepped a little closer to address Starlight personally.

"It seems we all really like Chris and—"

Berry Punch had moved in to force Derpy's mouth closed from giving away too much information.

"What she means to say is, Chris seems like such a nice fellow and is just wonderful with all the foals. And being how hard it is to find any pony that's... uh..."

Prim Posy butted in to take over their weak introduction.

"Able to keep them entertained and cared for with the attention they deserve."

Cheerilee nodded vigorously.

"Oh, yes. With all the trust and faith you and your friends have put into them, we can't help but think that he might be a good—"

"New special somepony for all of you?" Starlight raised her voice to cut her off.

Cheerilee yelped, "What?!"

Not expecting Starlight to jump to such a conclusion, Cheerilee quickly went on the defensive.

"We never said anything about that!" She answered in a panicky voice.

Still a little blind to the situation, Derpy spoke independently from the others.

"Well, I wouldn't mind."

"Really?" Starlight replied with a sly grin and eyes narrowing.

Prim Posy jumped in front of Starlight to block Derpy out of view.

"She doesn't speak for all of us. We just mmphh emmph kmphh phh..."

Before Prim Posy could finish trying to cover Derpy's intentions, Starlight had closed her mouth and was holding it shut with her magic.

Starlight spoke firmly and took a tall stance.

"Ladies, look. Chris is probably the best friend I've made in a long, long time. Dare I say, he might be the most important individual I have in my life right now," she said as her voice started to grow slightly more psychotic and villainous.

Berry Punch nervously spoke with a wavering voice as she started to step away.

"Now, Starlight. There's no need—"

"No-No-No-No," Starlight barked, wrapping each mare's rear end with her magic and forcing them to sit with each other, leaving only Derpy untouched. "Doh-ho-ho-on't you think for a second you're going to speak sweetly to me, trying to get close to Chris, and then try to pull something completely different than what you said you came to me for."

Starlight started pacing back and forth in front of the four frightened mares and one very blissfully clueless Derpy.

"I know full well every single one of you knows about my dark past. And believe me, I know what deception sounds like. I mastered the art of fooling ponies into something by telling them something else. And just like Derpy here—" She looked over to Derpy, who perked up with a bright smile again, still not knowing what was going on. "—it only takes one honest pony to ruin the illusion of the lie you want your victim to see."

The four mares gulped, fearful of what Starlight might do, knowing she could see right through them.

"So," Starlight removed her magic hold on them and flash teleported them all to the nearest cafe.

All four mares blinked and looked around in confusion, only to have their attention drawn back to Starlight, who was pulling out five chairs for them to sit in with her at the outside table.

"—let's try this again," Starlight requested aloud. "And just to be clear. Derpy."

Derpy carelessly took her seat.

"Yes, Starlight?"

With a warm sense of encouragement, Starlight informed Derpy, "I think Chris has a sweet spot for you. Maybe even all of you."

The other four mares suddenly didn't feel like their lives or wellbeing were in peril. However, they were still unsure of what to make of their situation.

Of the four now calmed mares, Cream Heart finally spoke up.

"Hold on. So, you're not going to try and keep us away from Chris if any of us wanted to try romancing him?"

Starlight rolled her eyes.

"Girls, believe me. I get it. If things between Chris and I hadn't started off so rough and got so complicated along the way... I think even I would have considered seeing how far things could go with him."

Derpy didn’t know Starlight that well but instantly felt for a fellow mare and reached out to hold Starlight's hoof.

"Oh, no. What happened?"

Starlight sighed heavily, reflecting on her terrible start she had with Chris and the drunken violation of trust she forced onto him.

"Let's just say that I'm having such a hard enough time trying to manage keeping him as a friend, that having anything more than that..." She shied her eyes away. "I don't think I would be any good for anything more than that."

Seeing Starlight's vulnerability, Prim Posy decided to join the table.

"Okay, now I really feel bad about this. I don't want to be stepping on any pony's hooves... but there's also something about Chris that..."

Cream Heart said what summed up their collective mentality as she took her seat.

"Believe me. I think every pony at this table knows."

Cheerilee joined the group.

"This seems... really awkward now."

Berry Punch was hesitant to join the others.

"I was more interested in helping Cream Heart find somepony for Button Mash... But if we're all in agreement that he's up for grabs."

Starlight snapped her attention to Berry Punch.

"I'm not saying he's up for grabs. At least not for just any mare who happens to have an interest in him. But I do have to ask.“ She eyed each mare at the table. “What got you all so interested in Chris in the first place?"

Cheerilee looked around the table at the others before she started to answer first.

"For most of us, it really started with seeing how good he was with the foals. Not sure if you noticed, but there's not a lot of stallions out there these days. Certainly, not many who aren't focused on their career... Even less that are willing to think about settling down with a mare that already started a family."

Starlight could sympathize but couldn't actually relate to that.

"I'll be honest. I've never been in a relationship before. So I'm not very knowledgeable in... all of it, I guess. I've never even had an interest in finding somepony of my own."

Cheerilee took a chance to speak for herself.

"I had a thing with Big Mac for a while, but that didn't really seem to take either of us anywhere. That and some crazy love magic almost had us getting married. I think seeing how fast things moved when we weren’t in control made us uneasy about having a special somepony. Big Mac would have been an amazing stallion for starting a family with. But the reason I first was interested in Chris was hoping he could help me with the schoolhouse."

Cheerilee's confession drew some questionable looks.

"I..." Cheerilee sunk down in her seat. "—don't really know how he could have helped me with any of it. I was just so happy to see how much fun all my students were having listening to him tell stories or making his little jokes." She looked up to the others with some unexpected sad eyes. "I guess somewhere in the midst of hoping to win over his attention, I noticed Big Mac with that Kelly human lady."

The others nodded along, silently acknowledging that they had seen the same thing.

Cheerilee could see she wasn't the only one and went on to finish her thoughts.

"Seeing those two together, and I don't claim to know how close they are or if they're even a couple. Though as close as they were, I can't see how they couldn't be. But it made me realize that I wouldn't be able to cross that bridge with him again. Even if those two weren't an item."

Prim Posy was the next to open up to the group.

"I may still be young. But I'm not getting any younger. And just like with Cream Heart, Berry Punch, and Derpy, being a single mother is hard."

Berry Punch groaned,

"Tell me about it.”.

Cream Heart sighed.

"Plus, it's so emotionally taxing. Dealing with all the craziness you have to go through with raising a child. If it's not needing somepony to help with even the simplest of things, or Celestia forbid, take over dealing with Button Mash." She lowered her gaze back to the table. "It's so much harder not having a stallion there to vent to, support me... make me feel loved again."

Derpy wasn't expecting everyone to open up as they did, but she had her own emotional baggage.

"I… Well… Chris doesn't look at me funny like so many other ponies do. None of the humans do. But Chris was so kind and warm to Dinky and me. I know I'm different, and I make a lot of mistakes, but I wasn't like that with him. I don't feel embarrassed around him. And I don't care if he isn't a pony. I've been an outcast long enough that I don't care who my next stallion would be. I just want them to look at me like Chris did. One that doesn’t mind that I have a foal of my own already... Just like Chris didn't mind."

So there lay the question none of them had spoken until Berry Punch asked, "What are we supposed to do?"

That question deserved an answer that only Starlight could address to the group.

"Ladies, Chris is lonely as well. And he could certainly use some more love in his life."

That comment raised the hopes for the group of mares.

"But," Starlight had to add a caveat to their aspirations. "Chris has had a very difficult life and can be very sensitive. So, I'd be willing to help reintroduce all of you to him again. But, you can't rush in full speed on the poor guy. And just..."

She slouched a little more, feeling terrible again for what she did to him, and maybe even hurting a little for letting him go so easily.

"—help him be happy while he's here."

The mares nodded and quietly agreed, not sure why that wasn't something to be expected from them.

Now knowing that she had their undivided attention, Starlight firmly proclaimed, "I don't ever want to see him hurt by another pony again. That's the agreement I need from all of you."

She raised her eyes from her side of the table, and the table cracked in half. It did so without her even having to pull her magic into an aura. The sudden flux in her emotions was enough to snap the metal and wood apart.

All the mare's blood ran cold at the sheer flex of power and the threat it gave.

Starlight thought it best to make herself clear on this remark.

"Consider this more of a warning than a threat. Because, like I said, Chris is very important to me, and I've already fought to protect him once... I didn't lose that fight either, by the way. But besides me, every Princess, Prince Shining Armor, all of the Elements, and every other human here has his back. Plus, after what happened to Kelly, I don't think anyone of us are going to take it lightly."

Starlight looked over the group, gauging their reactions.

"And if any of you think that's too much to risk, or if you don't have what it takes to keep the level of respect needed to deal with an international ambassador to an entire world for his species... Now is your time to walk away."

Derpy trailed her eyes around the table at her fellow mares until they aligned properly on Starlight.

"I... umm—" She gently tapped her forehooves together, suddenly looking rather timid. "I know I can be kind of clumsy at times. And I don't mean to hurt any pony... but I still would like to see Chris again. If you'll let me."

Starlight thought that her last few moments with them might have been a bit too harsh, and she might need to soften her approach again.

"Girls, I don't want to keep any of you away from Chris if you are being completely sincere with me. But I also don't want to put Chris in harm's way or formally introduce you to him without you fully understanding the kind of situation you're getting into."

Berry Punch was starting to question her choice now.

"Well? What are we getting into?"

"Alright," Starlight figured this would be as good a time as any to give them a better idea of the situation. "If you're willing to stay long enough to listen, what I tell you doesn't leave this table. You tell no pony about this. You knowing this, is the only thing that will likely even give you a chance with him."

The mares all exchanged glances with each other before turning back to Starlight with a look of determination.

Finally, Cream Heart answered for the group.

"I think it's safe to say we're all willing to hear you out."

Starlight started to open up the floodgates.

"So here's the deal."

A new mares voice spoke up off to their side.

"I'm sorry, ladies. I didn't see you all come in earlier."

The group turned to see a pegasus mare in a waitress uniform ready to take their order.

"Do you all need a menu, or do you know what you would like to order?" The cafe waitress asked.

Cheerilee took the initiative to buy them some time and privacy.

"I think a round of scones and some hot tea for the table would be fine. " She looked to Starlight. "Would you say about ten minutes would be enough time to bring everything out?"

Starlight turned and tilted her head to the waitress with a smile.

"Yes, that should be more than enough time, if you could, please."

"Right," The waitress jotted down the order. "And which of our scones and tea would you—"

Cheerilee laid a hoof down on the menu the waitress was about to read off to them.

"Sweetie, believe me. We'll be happy with whatever you bring us. So, please do us a favor and pick whatever you think is your best to offer today. We'd appreciate your help with that since we're kind of in the middle of something important that we need to discuss at the moment."

The waitress pulled back the menu and tucked it away.

"Oh... My apologies. " She looked over the group of mares she couldn't remember seeing together like this before but then noticed the damage done to the table. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes," Starlight answered, hoping to usher her away. "Just some private things between a couple of mares."

Stepping away, the waitress replied, "Okay," feeling like she walked into the middle of a hornet's nest and shouldn't stay any longer than needed. "Back in ten minutes."

"So here's the deal," Starlight started over now that they had some privacy again. "We don't know exactly how our new human guests were brought here, and we don't know how or if they can be taken home again. So we have no idea how long they'll be with us. Days? Weeks? Months? Maybe they'll never find a way home."

Cheerilee butted into the conversation.

"That's pretty much what Sniff said yesterday."

"Yes," Starlight said with a nod. "However, not every pony is sold on the idea of us getting too attached to them. Just in case we can find a way back for them. But... that was directed to Twilight, myself, and the other girls. Nothing was said that any of you girls couldn't get as close as you wanted."

Prim Posy spoke up with some optimism in her voice, "Well, that doesn't sound much like bad news."

Starlight agreed.

"Yes, it does, however... While Chris is open to meeting a pony and finding a special somepony of his own—" Starlight watched the mares light up and felt bad about having to let them down. "—but he seems to be the only one of the seven who is accepting of the idea."

Cream Heart leaned forward slightly.

"Meaning?"

Starlight thought about how to best put this to them.

"Meaning... If any other pony, or any of his friends find out that Chris is looking for a special somepony, or that any of you are trying to be that special somepony..."

Cheerilee was sure she understood but still asked, "So, if we're lucky enough to win him over, it will have to be all in secret?"

Starlight softly answered, "Only until they have more time to settle in. I'm sure that with time, once they get more acclimated to Equestria and the rest of the ponies, to them, it won't be a problem."

Cream Heart repeated the line.

"Get more acclimated? I thought you said you don't know how long they're going to be here?"

Prim Posy interjected.

"And hold on, now. I heard that Rarity was seen all dressed up and went out on a date with the really big one. That he took her out to Grapes and Olives? Why do we have to keep everything a secret with Chris?"

Starlight strained her emotions to answer these questions.

"Yes. We don't know how long they will be here, but we also don't have a clue on how to achieve what theoretically can't be done with Equestrian Magic. And as for Cerb, the really big one, taking Rarity out on a date." She sighed remembering that night again. "He was treating her out as repayment for her going out of her way to make him and his friends new clothes. And, the first one she made was for him, but it was too small, and he ripped it on accident while trying it on."

Cream Heart partially asked her question.

"So, they're not dating or anything?"

"No," Starlight answered. "But, Cerb is a special case with Rarity and Fluttershy. I can't get into it here with you. His story is— " She shook her head just thinking about what few bits and pieces she was able to overhear about his past. "Let's just try to stay focused on Chris for right now."

Cheerilee asked, "Is there anything else we should know?"

Starlight thought for a moment, running through all her observations and the secrets she was made aware of.

"Be careful of who else tries to get close to him." Starlight felt another twinge of aching in her heart and a pulse of pain in her lip as she pressed them together. "Chris is the kind of stallion that's easy to fall in love with and has a gentle touch that can easily win over a mare if she isn't careful."

To those at the table with a little more understanding of social cues, they couldn't help but see that Starlight was hurting inside at the thought of letting him go to them.

Unfortunately, Starlight continued before any of the others could dare to ask any more personal questions.

"Just look at how fast any of them draw the attention of every pony around them. Curiosity from the moment they laid eyes on those seven, to ponies throwing hundreds and thousands of bits just to have a dance with them. Then tracking down one of their sponsors to try and use her to get close enough to start dating them... You five are only the first in line. I have no doubt that others will come as the days go by. But, they won't be as informed as you are."

"Starlight?" Derpy spoke up to ask a question the others weren’t brave enough to. "Chris is super amazing and nice to everypony he meets. Why haven't you tried to be his special somepony?"

"Yeah," Berry Punch piped up. "For all the firm warnings you're giving us. How do we know you aren't just trying to scare us off so you can have him for yourself?"

Starlight could see where they were coming from and sighed, knowing she'd have to be as honest as possible with them.

"Because... I didn't get the warning I'm giving you.“ There was a lot of regret in her voice as she admitted her faults. “I had to take a lot of risks to make amends with Chris after I had a bad exchange with him and his friends. And even trying to apologize after having explained to me what I had done wasn’t so easy... I probably wouldn't even have been given the chance to patch things up with him if I hadn't almost died trying to save his friend Kelly."

A series of questions were halted by Starlight raising a hoof and turning away with her eyes closed.

"No. We're not getting into that right now. And we're not discussing what happened between me and Chris." She lowered her hoof and looked to the mares again. "This is all about Chris now. I'm still responsible for him. Just like the other girls are taking care of the rest of his friends. So, I'm going to make sure he's well taken care of while in your company."

Still a little anxious, Derpy asked, "So, what do we do now?"

The waitress, pushing a serving cart to their table, cautiously asked, "Are you ladies ready?"

Starlight answered with a quaint little smile, "Perfect timing."

As the pegasus started to place out their order as she addressed them again.

"Will this be all for you today, or is there anything else I can get you?"

"This should be fine for now," Starlight answered before turning back to the others. "I think as soon as we're done here, I'll head back and have Chris join us."

"Chris?" The waitress asked with some shock in her voice. "You mean one of the humans we threw the party... Oh, my gosh. Starlight. I'm sorry."

The waitress suddenly looked like she was dealing with a celebrity.

"I should have recognized you sooner. And... oh, my gosh. You're all the mares that were lucky enough to have a dance with him."

Berry Punch nervously answered, "Yep." She was seeing this as a sign of how popular the humans had already become. "Just having a post... dance... get together."

The waitress became increasingly excited.

"Would it be alright if I said hi to him when he arrives? I was there for his Goonies story, but never had the chance to actually meet him."

It was clear Starlight had a good read on the situation and broadcasted it to her fellow mares.

"Well, I don't see why not." She flashed the other mares a knowing look. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Chris was having an important conversation with Twilight before I left. Hopefully, he should be done by the time I get there."

Finally free from potential eavesdroppers, Chris asked, "So, all the girls I danced with last night wanted to see me again?"

Starlight was glad to see him excited at the prospect of seeing them all again.

"Yeah. They all very, very, much wanted to see you again.

A hue of red washed over Chris's cheeks.

"You mean..."

"Well," Starlight played coy with her tone. "Who's really to say what they want?" She let a moment pass by to build up his anticipation. "Other than looking to have a new human stallion they could be a special somepony with. But who's to say what that really means."

This was the best news Chris could have ever hoped for.

"I... and you're okay with this?"

Starlight playfully nudged Chris's leg with her flank.

"For you? How could I not be?"

Chris was beside himself with gratitude.

"Starlight, I know you said you would, but... I wasn't really expecting much to come of it after..."

"After what?" Starlight happily asked but suddenly felt the return of her fears that he might have remembered the events from her blackout.

"I dunno," Chris shrugged. "I kinda thought that after what happened in the pool, you'd be afraid to let my hands wander off to somepony else."

"Oh," Starlight thought back to how that night went. "That was a pretty—" She slightly melted with a drunken smile. "—amazing experience."

Chris looked down with a grin he wanted to fight off but couldn't.

"It couldn't have been that good. I mean... that doesn't make any sense at all for how things are supposed to work here."

Starlight replied with a slight laugh overtaking her voice.

"Well, you're not exactly from here, ya know,"

Chris laughed with her.

"No, I know that. It's just the whole immunity to magic and enjoying a human's touch so much, kinda thing." Chris went quiet for a moment, bouncing some ideas around in his head. "That's more in line with fanfiction than canon material."

"Fanfiction? Pfft!" Starlight had a hard time not losing her composure at such a concept. "You mean stories humans would write about us based on your show?"

Chris reaffirmed his claim.

"Well, yeah. The show about you all became super popular. I mean, way more popular than anyone would have ever expected. And so, a lot of the older fans, like myself, wrote their own stories about you and what goes on here. Or different ways things could have gone down. Or... what it would be like if a human was here."

Starlight tilted her head and playfully batted her eyes like a flirt.

"And did you ever write any stories about us or coming here?"

Chris stared down at Starlight's pretty little face but didn't answer. He just bashfully smiled and turned his attention back to the direction in front of them.

There was a sudden twitch in Starlight’s step.

"Oh," Her voice loudly croaked, fearing she just insulted him. "I didn't mean that in a bad way or anything."

Chris, never breaking stride, replied, "I didn't think you did. And yeah... I did. But I never shared it with anyone."

Starlight wanted to try and console him on his choice to keep it to himself.

"Well, given how resistant your friends are to the idea of being with a pony, I can't say I blame you."

"Well, true," Chris went on to say. "But, remember how I said my smartphone can pull information or books like Spike can send messages?"

Even if she didn’t understand it, she did remember it.

"Yeah."

"Well, people can also share their stories with each other. I've read a lot of them myself." He pulled out his phone, contemplating on whether to turn it on and show her an example of one he was still reading. "But I'm pretty sure no one would have liked it. I went more on the lines of a cheesy romance."

Given Chris’s demeanor and approach to ponies, this didn’t seem to make sense to Starlight.

"And the other readers and writers don't like those kinds of stories?"

This was going to be hard to explain without referancing the erotic content that was so common.

"No... A lot of them do. If anything, my story was pretty tame compared to others. But I also couldn't write a good human character."

That had to of been a lie, and Starlight asked to verify.

"What do you mean? Shouldn't that have been the easiest part to write?"

Chris suddenly sounded a lot more serious about this topic.

"There's only so many ways you can write how a person would react to entering Equestria and meeting any of you. Is it a story where he knows about ponies? Does he not know about them because the show doesn't exist in his world, or have humans and ponies coexisted for a long time already? Lots of things can influence how the character is supposed to react based on what he is supposed to know before showing up and what his personality is like."

Starlight thought about how Chris and his friends reacted upon meeting them.

"How were your reactions compared to the stories you've read?"

Chris had thought about that over the last few days and figured he had a good idea about it.

"I think it's a bit different for us. Some of us knew what you all were. So, the mystery of what this world is wasn't some great reveal we had to discover over the course of weeks or years. That, and I think we were so distracted with trying to figure out how we got here that we couldn't really focus on freaking out. Well, that and the fact that was with Cerb with us… We don't tend to worry a lot about our safety when Cerb is with us."

"Why is that?" Starlight asked, half curious and half amused. "Is it because he's so big?"

Chris chuckled and turned to Starlight with a goofy grin.

"Not just big. Cerb is our trump card. This dude is unstoppable. Plus, another thing for us which hasn't happened in many stories, none of us showed up here alone." Chris turned his attention back ahead of them, smiling contently. "Me and everyone else have always been close. And we've only gotten closer over the years... I guess we kinda keep each other calm and... I dunno. We don't seem to focus on all the bad things when we're with each other."

Starlight moved a little closer to Chris as they neared the cafe.

"You know, maybe the longer you stay here, the more likely they'll warm up to the idea of you wanting to have a marefriend. Then you won't have to keep that part of your life hidden from them."

"Maybe," Chris said with little confidence. "And that's even if it happens."

Starlight beamed a bright smile as they neared their table.

"Only one way to find out. Chris, I'd like you to meet all of your dance partners again. I imagine you already know all their names, but now you can all get to know each other without the music drowning out the conversation."

Chris was treated to a table full of the mares he had briefly spent time with the night before. Each one smiling and looking toward him warmly, eagerly waiting for him to join them.

Chris was just as eager, sadly, as he was hesitant; old feelings of hopelessness from his prior dejections creeping upon him.

"Hello, ladies," He nervously greeted them.

A collection of shy salutations followed with a painful silence from no one really knowing how to start this thing off.

Eventually, nudging an elbow into Chris's thigh, Starlight lightheartedly instructed him, "Well, have a seat, dummy. Come on, sit, talk, have some tea and scones."

Chris did his best to hide his embarrassment as he finally took his seat.

"Sorry. Just nervous meeting new faces."

Cream Heart was relieved to hear that she wasn’t the only one.

"Oh, don't worry about it. I think we're all a little nervous."

Prim Posy added in her own uneasiness.

"I'm so glad I'm not the only one feeling that way. You've become quite the popular stallion overnight, on top of being an ambassador for your world. I think we're all a little worried about making a good impression."

Losing all of the previous concerns she had, Derpy apologized.

"I'm sorry I didn't make it back to dance with you again. Dinky was so excited about dancing with your friend and the dance we had together, I think I fell asleep reading her a bedtime story trying to get her to go to sleep."

The table shared a good laugh at how comically Derpy gave her excuse.

"Heh. Oh, man. That is adorable," Chris told the table before taking in the sight of them all and realizing something. "Do you all normally hang out together?"

Berry Punch looked around at her fellow mares.

"All of us?"

Chris was sure he was onto something with his observation.

"I just thought since you all have kids of your own, you must know each other that way. Then Cheerilee is their teacher." He looked to their faces and started to wonder if he was wrong. "Or is this more because of the dance last night?"

Trying not to overtly sound like they were plotting to woo him over, Cheerilee answered for the table.

"I guess we do all meet up here and there, but we don't have much of a chance to all meet up together like this, though."

Cream Heart spoke up to change the topic.

"So, Chris. I hear you haven't been here very long. Have you had a chance to see much of Ponyville or other parts of Equestria?"

Rarity was still apologizing to Twilight.

"Sorry again that Mr. Cerberous was so distant with you this morning. He's not trying to be rude. He just feels terrible about all the problems he caused and for making everypony worry about him."

Fluttershy nodded along, not wanting to stoke the flames after the discussion about what all happened with Cerb when Twilight left with Sniff the night before.

Twilight replied, surprisingly not sounding like she was beating herself up over the events of last night.

"It's okay. I have a much better perspective on things after talking to Peter last night."

Rarity asked, suddenly more curious since Twilight used Sniff's proper name.

"A different perspective on what, exactly?"

Twilight sighed, remembering what poor state she was in before Sniff had helped her through it.

"When the humans were brought here, there was no warning. And while they were lucky enough to know as much as they did about us and Equestria as a whole, we knew nothing about them." She continued the conversation as Rarity opened her shop and let them in. "Celestia was the only one among us to have any knowledge of humans, even if they were from a different human world, apparently. But even she wasn't able to, or for some other reason, choose not to give me any proper guidance on what to expect from them. And even with the help of you two and the rest of the girls, I wasn't aware of all the problems they needed help with. So, when Cerb had his nightmare last night, that sent Luna into a panic, and I was completely blindsided by all of it."

As per the agreement, Twilight stood still for Rarity to start the dress fitting while a collection of measurements were taken from all angles as she continued to explain.

"I wasn't given the proper guidance, nor support, or even any references to use and make better decisions on how to best help them. And that's only concerning the problems that I did know about at the time." Twilight gave Rarity a proud smile. "It wasn't until Peter pulled me away from Luna and stopped me bawling my eyes out that he helped me to see things more clearly. That there was no reason for me to be held to all the expectations for things that Celesta and Luna either didn't know how to handle or refused to take care of themselves. Or, at the very least, not letting me know they were issues to be handled in the first place. He helped me when I needed it most, much like you two did with Cerb."

Pulling back her measuring tapes and notes, Rarity softly said, "I'm so sorry, dear. Fluttershy and I were so caught up in trying to take care of Jus—" She caught herself using Cerb's proper name but then thought of why she would censor herself in front of Twilight after she did the same with Sniff. "Yes, Justin. That, well, I'm sorry to say we never noticed how much pressure you were under and all of the responsibilities being put on your shoulders."

Twilight replied warmly, "There's no need to apologize, Rarity. These things all snuck up on me so fast, not even I knew how bad things were until last night... And why did you hesitate to use Justin's real name? Does he not like it being used or something?"

Rarity answered with a reserved tone, not expecting the follow-up question about her choice of addressing Cerb.

"Well, no. As of late, Fluttershy and I have started using his real name when we're with him."

Fluttershy nodded, doing her best to sound as inconspicuous as possible.

"It's not that he doesn't like his nickname. It's mostly that he thought it didn't sound right that we would call him 'Mr. Cerberus, and that we should just use his real name instead of being so formal with him. But I think Rarity hesitated because you used Sniff's real name."

"Oh," Twilight blinked a few times at that. "Peter seems to be annoyed by everypony using his nickname. I think he's embarrassed by it... Or maybe he only wants his human friends to use it... And I still don't really know why they call him that."

"Yes, well," Rarity looked over her notes. "These humans certainly do enjoy a good mystery. There's still much about Justin we haven't learned. But then again, so much of it seems to be so painful for him to bring up. I can't really blame him for not opening up as much as we would like."

Fluttershy, again, nodded in agreement but looked a little sad as she did.

"Then everything bad that's happened to him and his friends since they got here. It's been hard for him to keep all those bad memories hidden when he's so worried about every person around him."

Hearing that, Twilight was reminded of how proud she was of these two friends of hers.

"Well, it's a good thing he has you two," She said, trying to cheer them up. "Right, girls?"

Fluttershy gave a bashful smile and tried to hide her blush.

"MmmHmm. But we can't take all the credit. I think everypony has done something to help him. He's really warmed up to all of us since we all first met."

Rarity laughed, thinking about how warm his first interaction with Fluttershy and herself had been compared to the others.

"Ha! Well, all of us except maybe Pinkie Pie."

Fluttershy giggled.

"Yeah. For as brave and strong as he is, he still—" Fluttershy suddenly had a terrible feeling like she had forgotten something. "Wasn't Pinkie Pie going with Benny when they left?"

Rarity realized what she hadn't caught earlier.

"Oh, dear."

The bell from the front door opened with its signature chime, and Fluttershy took that as her cue to leave. She bolted out, narrowly clipping the man who just stepped in.

Sniff steadied himself with the extra weight on his shoulders.

"Yo! Look out, Flutters!" Holding onto the doorway, he lowered himself down to one knee. "Alright, ya little munchkins, we're here. Rides over."

Three adorable voices whined in unison.

"Awe!"

As the Cutie Mark Crusaders started to drop from Sniff’s shoulders, Rarity pulled out another notepad and prepared herself for another set of rush orders to add to her list.

"How many more are we expecting?"

Pinkie Pie shouted as she opened up the sliding glass back door.

"Pee-ew! I've smelled rotten food before, but that stuff is extra stinky."

"Gah!" Benny emptied another shelf from the fridge. "God. I almost puked right there. Pinkie, can you go see if you can help Cerb digging the hole? I don't want you touching this stuff," He instructed her before popping in his headphones.

Pinkie lifted her head and tail high enough that both were the only things visible over the countertop as she cantered off.

"With pleasure."

A good stone's throw away from the farthest bath tent, Cerb was busy shoveling out a new burn pit. The plan was to burn as much evidence of their carnivorous foods that had spoiled in the six days they'd been there. The canned goods were too valuable of commodities to destroy and would have to be hidden at a later time.

Pinkie cantered up to Cerb and called out, "Hey-ya, puppy boy. BenBen wanted me to see if I could help you dig yer hole. Anything I can do?"

Cerb shoveled out another load of dirt and looked down at his progress.

"I only got the one shovel. And I'm not even a quarter of the way done, so we can swap out after a minute or two."

Pinkie looked over the small circle Cerb had already dug out and the markings of the boundary for the rest of the hole.

"How deep you plan on burying all that stinky garbage?"

Cerb strained himself a little as he dug in for another shovel load.

"Not very deep. We're gonna burn it first. Don't want it stinking up the place or attracting a bunch of raccoons or who knows what else. This stuff would probably make 'em sick."

That seemed like the kind of thing she would expect of a friend so close to Fluttershy.

"Oh, that's nice. I'm sure Fluttershy would like to hear that you care so much about the little critters out here."

Cerb didn’t seem to pay much mind to the comment and answered not so convincingly, "Yeah, probably."

Pinkie stared intently at Cerb, working on the hole. Part of her was taken in by the impressive sight of his muscles flexing and bulging as he worked up the soil. The rest of her was focusing on how slow he was getting the job done.

Not intending to come off as insulting but too absent-minded to notice, Pinkie pointed out, "You know, for such a big and strong guy, you sure are pretty slow at this."

"That so?" Cerb said defiantly. "How would you do it?"

"Hmm," Pinkie sat back and rubbed her chin for a moment, and popped back up, perky and cheerfully confident. "I'd probably do it faster."

Cerb laughed and shook his head.

"Well, if you can do it faster, I'd love to see it."

Pinkie turned around and started bouncing off away from him.

"Okee dokee."

Cerb watched her bounce off, looking away fast enough to avoid her flashing off the goods yet again.

"Fucking crazy-ass pink horse," he muttered to himself.

As soon as Cerb pulled out another shovel full of dirt, the roar of a heavy diesel engine blared out from behind him.

The noise was loud enough to make him jump forward and dive to the ground. He hit the grass and rolled over with the shovel in hand, and sprang up to his feet, ready to bash whatever had snuck up behind him.

Pinkie shouted from the driver's seat of an industrial-sized backhoe.

"You just need a bigger shovel! See! Watch!"

Cerb stood there blankly and watched Pinkie work the backhoe bucket, scooping out the hole he had been digging and more.

His heart was still pounding in his chest, and silently, he thought to himself, "Where the hell did she get that from?"

The bucket swung over, emptying the dirt as Pinkie shouted out from the operator's seat.

"See! A lot faster!"

Cerb dropped the shovel and turned back to the house. He simply lacked what it took to deal with that pony.

Behind him, the engine died, Pinkie jumped down, all too proud of herself, and she ran up alongside Cerb with another unwanted conversation.

"Wasn't that a lot faster than using your teeny-tiny-little shovel?"

Cerb thought to himself, ‘Just agree and let the conversation die on its own,’ and then answered, "Yep."

That was a short reply, so Pinkie would have to talk more for Cerb.

"Yeah. Because you had just a silly regular shovel, but I had a much bigger whatchamacallit. You had to work really hard and only get a little bit of dirt every time, but all I had to do was push some peddles and pull a lever, and then I got..."

Pinkie came to a standstill, unexpectedly cutting her rambling short, realizing there was no one around to stop her search for the elusive lever.

That sudden stop of the explanation only worried Cerb more since she stopped after letting him know what she had to pull.

"Pinkie? You're not thinking about—"

Pinkie's eyes went frighteningly wide with excitement.

"I'm gonna find your lever!"

The sound of a rocket barreling in on them zoomed overhead, and a blur of pink and yellow crashed with the force of a head-on collision with a tractor-trailer. It struck the ground between Pinkie and her target of opportunity.

Inside the house, Benny felt a thud bump through the floor, like a giant wub had just gone through a subwoofer. He stood up and pulled out a headphone but didn’t hear or see anything that would have been a reason to call for concern. So, as any reasonable person would, he went back to work with his headphones in.

Outside, Fluttershy stood up from the indent in the ground she left upon impact. Her wings flared, and her eyes flashed with all the ferocity of a mother bear protecting her cub.

Pinkie didn't know why Fluttershy was there, but now it didn't matter.

"On second thought," because she knew what an angry Fluttershy would do if she dared lay a single pink hoof on Cerb. "I think BenBen might need my help in the kitchen. I should go see if he needs my help in the kitchen."

"Yeah," Fluttershy coldly scolded her through her dominating glare. "You go do that."

In true comical fashion, Pinkie dashed off, leaving a trail of dust behind her.

"Well, then," Fluttershy flapped her wings a few times before folding them in and turning back to Cerb. "I'm terribly sorry, Justin. I know you said you wanted time away from the castle to take care of the garbage with Benny, but I didn't realize that Pinkie was going with both of you."

Cerb's arms were suddenly wrapped around her neck and hugging her tightly. Again, his rich scent was pressed against her, and she was held in his warm embrace. The only thing better than a normal thank-you hug was a thank-you hug for rescuing him from Pinkie Pie.

Cerb breathed heavily, pressed close cheek to cheek with her.

"Fluttershy, I owe you." Suddenly he was feeling like there was nothing he wouldn't do for her. "Whatever you want, name it."

A rush washed over Fluttershy. Whatever she wanted? Just ask, and she could have it? Anything? Yes! She earned it. All the things she could do with him now!

Just thinking about made her feel like a Wonder-Rush was already building up inside her. However, even nearing such a euphoric state, she knew she couldn't ask to use him as a stand-in for her pillows. Not that that thought wasn't enough to make her tail instinctively grind against her and her ears twitch.

With the clarity of her mind rapidly fading, she had to speak fast or risk ruining everything for not just her but Rarity as well.

"Well, there is one thing I could use your help with... But it's a really big favor to ask of you."

Pinkie darted inside, fearful that Fluttershy might have followed her in.

"Hi-ya, Benny! Are you still cleaning?! I can clean, too! Here, watch me clean!"

Before Benny could ask why she was in a panic, she had already swooped in between his legs and was rummaging through the fridge. She was tucked in tight between his thighs like a frightened puppy seeking protection from its master.

Benny paused his music and took out his headphones.

"Everything alright, Pinkie?" Benny asked, knowing he couldn't be sure with her.

"Oh, yeah!" Pinkie answered louder than what was appropriate. "Fine. Fine. Everything's fine. Superfine. Uber fine. Ultra-mega times one-hundred—" She opened a can of mayo while rambling, only to gag at the putrid stench that slapped her in the face—"Ugh! Ack! Not fine! Super not fine!"

Benny took the lid and recapped the jar, discarding it in the half-full bag of trash.

"So... given the simple fact that you're cowering between my legs like a dog that just heard the vacuum cleaner get turned on, I'm guessing we're not in danger... but that you probably did something stupid."

"What?" Pinkie looked up, not sure how to lie her way out of this. "I didn't... I mean..."

"Oh, Jesus," Benny stood up. "You didn't bury Cerb or... Oh, fuck. He's not hurt, is he?"

"No-No! He's perfectly fine. Honest," Pinkie answered before latching onto Benny's leg.

"Okay," Benny stood still as he tried to figure out this madness before checking on Cerb himself. "He's not hurt, but you're... Awe, shit. You didn't go looking for Cerb's lever again, did you?"

Pinkie did her best to sound convincing.

"Mmm-nnnnnnnnoooooo," which, of course, she didn't sound convincing at all.

"Pinkie?" Benny said firmly, demanding she answer him.

She answered again, still not sounding free of guilt.

"I Pinkie Pie Swear, I didn't."

"Pinkie..."

"I didn't! I couldn't! Fluttershy stopped me before I could—" She quickly slapped her forehooves over her mouth, having just outed herself.

Benny sighed, rubbing his hands down his face.

"Fuck me running." He pulled his hands free and looked down at the quivering mess that was Pinkie. "He didn't hurt you or anything, did he? He's not the kind of guy to off and hit a lady, but if you—"

"No!" Pinkie quickly corrected him. "And he's not what's so scary. It's Fluttershy. She flew down like a Power Pony—Zoom!—Then crashed down and put a dent in your backyard like—Boom!—And then she stared at me all scary like—Grr!—And then we agreed that I should come help you in the kitchen."

Benny leaned down, now that she was done with her reenactments of Fluttershy, scaring her away from molesting Cerb.

"Pinkie, look. It was funny the first few times you asking about his lever. But there is no lever. Never was. I said all that as a joke. He's not a golem."

Pinkie sat her rump on the floor and pressed her forehooves into her hips in a defiant pose.

"Why does everypony keep saying that?"

Benny groaned, "Because it's fucking true, Pinkie."

Pinkie sat more comfortably on the kitchen floor, bringing her hoof to her chin and pondering deeply.

"Hmm..." She looked up to him again, seeking his guidance. "Does fucking mean it is or isn't true?"

"God damn it," Benny grumbled through his facepalm.

"What?!" Pinkie exclaimed. "You keep using that word like you think I know what it means. You and all your friends say it. Luna said it. Applejack said it. Do they know what it means? Am I the only pony who doesn't know what it means besides Twilight?"

She contorted her face in confusion.

"For a pony who knows a lot of words, she doesn't have a fucking clue what the word means."

"No," Benny groaned again. "I'm sorry. I'm not supposed to be saying that word around you. You shouldn't be saying it either."

Still asking all the wrong questions, Pinkie asked, "Is it a bad word?"

Benny looked her dead in the eyes and explained, "Yeah... It's a super-uber-ultra-mega bad word."

Well, he sorta explained it.

Pinkie gasped.

"Am I a bad pony now? Am I going to pony jail?"

"No!" Benny shouted, more frustrated at himself than anything else. "You're not a bad pony... And why is it called pony jail? You're all ponies. All of your jails should be owned and operated for ponies and by ponies. They're just jails. They'd only be called something different if the jailers were griffons or dragons or whatever else is out there."

With all the yelling directed at Pinkie, her mane deflated, and her eyes teared up as she asked, "Are you... mad at me again?"

Benny sighed.

"I'm not mad at you, Pinkie. I'm... mad at myself for letting that joke with you get this far with Cerb. I never thought you'd actually try and grope him."

"I didn't grope him," Pinkie said innocently.

That wasn't the point, and Benny wasn't enjoying this, regardless.

"Were you going to?"

Pinkie sat back again, bringing her hoof to her chin, pondering deeply.

"... Define groping"

"Oh, my god. I can't believe this. A kids show, of all things." He grumbled to himself before deciding to approach this as kid-friendly as he could. "Okay, Pinkie... do ponies ever wear bathing suits?"

"Yeah,” She answered as a matter of factly..”But usually, they’re going swimming when they wear them."

It was best for Benny to just let that slide for now.

"Okay. Great. Thanks for the clarification. Now, tell me. Are there any areas covered by those bathing suits that would be considered very bad if another pony were to touch them there?"

Pinkie sat back, bringing her hoof to her chin, pondering deeply.

"Yo! Benny!" Cerb shouted from the sliding door as he entered. "How much of our old service gear is still here?"

Pinkie abandoned her pondering to scurry behind Benny.

This wasn't a welcomed distraction, and Benny looked behind him to see Pinkie cowering under his protection.

"The fu—" He stopped himself from swearing in front of Pinkie again and turned to see Cerb passing him to go up the stairs. "Uh, a bunch? I dunno. Maybe? It's all buried in the attic. And why?"

Cerb didn’t even slow down as he answered.

"Don't worry about it for now," he instructed Benny before letting Fluttershy take the lead to the stairs. "Gotta see what all is up there and consult with Chris and the ponies on the Everfree Forest. I got a mission, bro."

"Mission?" Benny questioned aloud and moved to watch Cerb and Fluttershy march up the stairs. "Dude! How in the f—" He had to censor himself from repeatedly cursing in front of Pinkie again. "This isn't about your lever, is it?"

Cerb shouted down from the upper level of the house.

"Your face is a lever!"

Benny sulked, now wondering what all he missed and fearing what was to follow. He turned to Pinkie.

Pinkie was sitting idly on the floor, giving a nervous smile as he stared at her.

"Sooooo... Are we going swimming?"

She seemed to have forgotten what they were talking about.

Benny started to wonder if Cerb had room for one more on this mystery mission of his.

"What will it take for you to give up on trying to find Cerb's lever?"

Pinkie sat back again, bringing her hoof to her chin, pondering deeply.

Nope. Benny wasn't going to let her take this off-topic like the last time.

"I swear upon every Princess of this land and far beyond. If you don't give me a straight answer, I'll burn Sugar Cube Corner to the ground and force you to eat a cake made from its ashes."

Pinkie's jaw dropped to the floor with the clang of a hammer hitting an anvil. There was no way Benny was serious, but just him saying it, that was too much to handle. Some quick thinking gave her the perfect leverage to wager if he was going to act so seriously about this. Even if she knew she might be going against what Twilight told her.

She cleared her throat and ran a mental checklist of all the desserts she could offer him to apologize if things went south.

"Well, how about I ask you only one teeny-tiny little, itsy-bitsy question? And if you answer it, then I, Pinkie Pie, Swear never to look for Cerb's lever again."

Benny stared at the nervous pink mess of a pony, believing she would ask him something stupid and decide to play along.

"Okay, fine. What's your question, Pinkie?"

Pinkie shied back slightly, knowing this wasn't going to be well received.

"Why do you look so sad when you think no pony is watching you?"

So, some takeaways from this:

Mares are conniving.Don't fuck with Starlight or her man.Chris's luck is turning around.They might be getting a better idea of what kind of reality they're in.More proof of anti-magic in humans.Chris is SUPER lucky.Pinkie is as about as crazy as Pinkie (yes, I'm equating her to herself, because Pinkie)Don't fuck with Fluttershy or her man.Pinkie is crazy and clueless.Benny might be forced to deal with his issues.

Oh? And any guesses on what the favor is Fluttershy requested? Or how that's going to be a mission?

Feel free to tell me what you think it might be or any other questions or comments you might have.

Otherwise, the answer will be revealed in Chapter 43: To Prove One's Worth.