Benny had been waiting for Cerb to finish his bath so they could finally get moving out, lest they miss the breakfast Spike was preparing. Not that they were in a rush, or anywhere close to being late for said breakfast, but if they were going to have a royal feast, he might as well be there early. Plus, with as crazy and unpredictable as this world seemed to be, why chance it? So, he stood outside the bathing tent to harass his friend. “Jesus, Jenny. Will you hurry the fuck up? Did you self-promote yourself to an officer just so you could make me hurry up and wait?”

“Squid, Devil Dog. Squid, Devil Dog. Request to send SPOT report.” Cerb shouted back in his more professional radio voice, one he had all too much practice with.

Benny would play along. “Devil Dog, this is Squid. Send it.”

“Squid, Devil Dog. Situation. Petty Officer Cry-Baby Ben is being a little cry baby bitch. Position. He appears to be sitting on his thumb. Observation. Uh… Well, he’s smiling and winking at me. Time. Right now, and every time he has to wait more than five goddamn minutes!… How copy? Over.”

“Devil Dog, this is Squid. Say again, your last. We can’t hear a fucking thing you’re saying because of how god damn slow your moving. We recommend you stop flirting with the communicator and focus on getting ready. Over.”

“Squid, this is Devil Dog. That’s a bad copy on our end. Can you repeat your last but swallow the mouthful of cookies first? Your new girlfriend isn't here. Can I get a read back on my last? Over.”

The mock radio chatter went quiet for a moment when Benny didn’t reply back.

“Squid?... You still there?”

“Hold on, Devil Dog,” Benny answered back without the radio voice. “Your two lady friends are back.”

Cerb wasn’t expecting Fluttershy and Rarity to visit the house. “Oh… Shit. Tell ’em I’ll be out in a minute and then we can leave.”

Benny answered back, sounding a little concerned. “Uh… They said I can go without you three.”

That didn’t make any sense to Cerb. “Are we all walking back, or getting another ride from someone else?”

“I dunno,” Benny hollered back through to the tent. “But they’re coming to you with a box of cherry-flavored horse Trojans.”

“Cherry? I thought we agreed on Strawberry?” Cerb wasn’t going to let that joke go unchallenged.

“I don’t care what flavor you want, but if you hurry up, you might have time to run down to the corner store and buy the right ones. Or, I don’t know, not make us late for the fucking breakfast?”

Cerb finally emerged from the bath tent. “Holy fuck. Are you done crying? I’m out.”

“Took you long enough,” Benny said with a smile. “What was the holdup? Did you have to wax your cooter or something?”

“I’m sorry,” Cerb embellished on his sarcasm. “We can’t all be naturally hairless down there like you.”

“How can you have so much hair down there but still not have your nuts drop? It’s like your puberty works in reverse order.”

“Beats me,” Cerb answered. “How can you pee standing up when you have two vaginas?”

“The fff-“ Benny lost, and he knew it. “Damn it. So, I got the keys, and if I have to walk, so do you.”

Cerb would let the walk away rule slide for now. “Fine, you can walk away when we get to the castle.”

Benny pulled the keys out of his pocket. “Deal. You need anything from here before we head back?”

“Uh…” Cerb looked around the living room. “Nope. I just gotta put my shirt on, and we’re good to go.”

“Aight,” Benny answered. “I’m just gonna grab a bottle of champagne, and I’m good to go.”

“Champagne?”

“Yeah,” Benny popped back out from the garage with a bottle of the bubbly. ”You know? Mimosas. For a champagne brunch?”

“Oh. What about some Bloody Marys? Think Chris could use a little hair of the dog?” Cerb suggested.

“Egh,” Benny sized up one of the lower-tier bottles of vodka. “If not him, probably one of the girls.”

They gathered what few items they needed and loaded them into the car before they headed back. The start of the ride was quiet. Some music was playing over Blutooth from Benny’s phgone to the stereo, but the volume was too low to make it out over the engine noises and brushing of grass against the undercarriage. There was a conversation waiting to be had between the two, but there didn’t seem to be any right way to start it.

“Spit it out, Benny,” Cerb finally broke the tension.

Benny decided to be blunt about it. “What really happened last night?”

“You mean, did anything else happen?”

“Or just anything else you’re not telling me or anyone else that should know.”

Cerb held his tongue for a moment. “Two things, I guess. One, I feel like shit about Rarity.”

“About being the greatest fake date she ever had?

“Benny… Imagine someone took Becky out on a date, showed her the time of her life, and then ended the night by telling her that he was gay and it would never work out.”

That would be a disaster to handle, so Benny could at least now see why it might bother Cerb. “Okay. And what’s the second thing?”

“I see why Chris liked this show but didn’t tell any of us.”

“You mean outside the obvious that it’s a kid show for little girls and watching it pretty much makes him look like a fag?”

Cerb shot Benny a look that showed how displeased he was. Displeased about how right Benny was. But that wasn’t the point he was trying to make. “They make a shitty life not seem so shitty. Because if their show is any bit this upbeat and cheerful with all their touchy-feely afterschool special bullshit, I could see the appeal.”

“It had its funny moments,” Benny stated as a matter-of-factly, earning him a puzzled stare from Cerb. “What? I had to watch a bunch of it when I was babysitting Mary’s kid… The show made a bunch of callbacks and references to shit that I grew up with. Plus little jokes and puns that only an adult would get; which made it funnier just for that.”

“Like what?”

“The one that really sticks out was Twilight getting all preachy about something stupid. But as she’s getting up on her soapbox, she actually stands up on a wooden soapbox. And no one says a thing about it. Or they had this over-hyped dog show the ponies were putting on, and it was called a Dog and Pony Show.”

“Pft,” Cerb scoffed, but even he seemed amused by the simple jokes. “That’s dumb. And you’re retarded for laughing at it.”

“And you say you know why Chris wasn’t open about liking the show?” Benny jokingly called out Cerb for his immediate rejection at enjoying the show. He started tapping Cerb on the shoulder repeatedly. “Hey. Tell me about that part. Tell me? Why didn’t Chris wanna tell ya bout it? Huh? What’s the reason? Huh?”

Cerb kept trying to slap Benny’s hand away. “Because we all would have teased the fuck out of him for it. Yeah, I’m an asshole and a terrible friend. Fuck off already.”

Benny finally pulled his hand back, but waited all of five seconds before tapping Cerb on the shoulder a few more times and pulling his hand back.

Cerb raised his voice in a mock angry child’s voice. “I’m telling Mom when we get to the castle, and she’s gonna be mad.”

Benny followed along in the same manner. “Oh, yeah! Well, I’m gonna tell dad that you had two girls over when no one else was home. And that when I saw you, you were all hot and sweaty from wrestling a girl when she was naked.”

“Hey, I wasn’t naked.”

“Dude, those shorts are short on me. You might as well just go full speedo instead of trying to recreate your catch-me fuck-me’s.”

“It’s not gay when you’re underway, isn’t that what you sailors say?”

“Yeah, but we say it as a joke. You Marines jump at any opportunity to suck a cock. By the way, what you doing tonight there, Jarhead?”

“Ha! Jeez. Fuck’n homo.”

“Hey, it’s not gay until you start pushing back.”

“No, it’s gay when you start to moan my name.”

“It’s gay when you start kissing me with tongue.”

“You swallow.”

“You always try to cuddle afterwards.”

“And you always cry when we make love.”

“Awe, you call it making love. That’s so sweet. And that’s when you make it gay.”

Cerb threw up his hands. “Jesus Christ! Fine! You win! Fuck! Let me out, and I’ll do my walk of shame from here.”

Both were cracking up at this point, practically in tears over their banter.

“Awe, fuck man,” Benny finally stopped the barrage of jokes. “I’m glad you’re doing good. Did you get any sleep last night?”

“A little.”

“Any dreams?”

“Yeah,” Cerb lost a little of his smile as he admitted it. “Another one where I could hear but couldn't find Kelly. But then that Spearhead prick showed up. I just woke up, though. No freakout or flipping tables.”

“At least you weren’t out of Rip Its this time,” Benny chuckled. “And we’re here.”

Pulling up next to Sniff’s car, Benny gave two honks of the car horn and waved to the two new guards that had taken over for the day. “Alright, grab the booze. Maybe if one of the girls don’t drink, we can pre-game this breakfast. You down for some day drinking?”

Cerb grinned. “What? Does it look like I’m going in to work today?”

In the rearview mirror, Benny could see Lumberman’s truck driving up behind them in the distance. “Alright, and looks like the gangs all here.”

The sound of a toilet flushing and some running water led to Applejack emerging from the bathroom. “It’s all yours partner,” She called out to Lumberman.

“Thanks, Apples,” Lumberman shouted back from the spare room.

Now in the bathroom, he noticed for the first time how similar their setup was. The sink, toilet, and bathtub were all near the exact same as a humans’ would be, just smaller in stature. Except for the toilet which had a longer oblong shape for the bowl. That made sense, given their tinier bodies and difference in anatomy. Anatomy that he was now more keenly aware of. Regardless, the lower set target provided a more challenging experience since his morning wood hadn't yet entirely retreated.

"God damn it. Feel like I'm gonna bend my fucking dick off. Stupid piece of shit tiny ass toilet," Lumberman vented to himself. "Fuck it. I gotta take a shit anyway."

Nearing the bottom of the steps, Applejack shouted up to Lumberman. "We got some time before we have'ta go. Care for a cup of coffee or tea before we head out?"

"Coffee's fine, thanks!" Lumberman shouted back from behind the door.

Applejack trotted into the kitchen, a broad smile across her face as she hummed a tune of no particular song. She felt alive and energized. Far more than after the previous nights' broken sleep and emotional restlessness. Her first stop would be to the pantry to grab the coffee grounds, but opening the door, they were not in their usual spot. "Hugh... Must not of put'em away yesterday," She said to herself before closing the doors heading over to the coffee pot. Right away, she could see the coffee grounds still next to the pot... a pot of coffee that was already set to go.

"Sleep well, Applejack?" Granny Smith's voice coyly sprang up behind Applejack.

"Gah!" Applejack jolted forward, knocking her forelegs into the cupboard. She turned around quickly, cradling her knees with her back against the edge of the cupboard, seeing Granny sitting at the busted up table. Legs crossed and a smirk of 'I know what you did' look on her face. "Granny? When did you get back?"

"Ohhhh, not too long ago. Blasted ice machine started up on the other side of my room. Darn buzzing and churning wouldn't let me go back to sleep, ya see. So, I figured I'd take a stroll and see how you and yer brother were holding up... Imagine my surprise."

"Surprised that Big Mac isn't here?" Applejack asked, hoping she hadn't been discovered.

"Well, that did throw me for a loop," Granny admitted, looking up to the ceiling like she was trying to recall a thought she wanted to share. "But I figured he must'a already ran out to catch up with that nice young lass, Kelly. So, I thought I'd at least come check up on you in your room. Figured you were still in bed since none of the chores were get'n done. Of course, - " Granny's pondering look shifted to something more accusatory - "Not that I was gonna find ya in thar."

Applejack gulped, fearing a stern lecture that was about to drop.

"No, the real head-scratcher was you all cuddled up nice and cozy with that nice young Lumberman fella. Could'a swore there was talk about you not being sweet on'em - " She glared heavily - "How much'a last night you remember?"

"Wha? Granny, no," Applejack took offense to the accusation. "We just-"

"It's fine, dear," Granny calmly answered back, appearing more at ease after hearing her granddaughter's response.

She walked over to Applejack who was looking more concerned with her well-being the closer Granny came. And without warning, raised a hoof and pulled Applejack in for a firm hug. "I know you've been through a lot these last few days, sweetie. I know what it's like to need some pony to hold onto when the night comes and yer all alone."

"Granny? Yer not mad?" Applejack reluctantly asked.

With a soft sigh, Granny pulled away. "Mad? Maybe a little, being how ya barely know the guy, although, neither do I. But I got a feeling he's one of the good ones."

"Hold on now, you don't think-"

"What I think ain't the issue here, darlin," Granny was quick to stop any unnecessary questions. "You're not a child anymore. As much as I miss the days of you running around, trying to fill the horseshoes yer ma and pa left behind, I knew the day would come you finally had the inclination to see what else this life has in store for ya."

It sounded more and more to Applejack that Granny thought her and Lumberman were already an item. "It ain't like that, I just-"

Granny wasn't going to hear any of it. "It's whatever you need it to be. I'm not saying yer feeling one way or the other. If right now all you're wanting is a friend to keep close to ya, he seems like a fine choice. Just be honest with him and honest with yerself."

Applejack wasn't going to push to get another argument in, it wasn't worth the effort when Granny got like this. "I am, Granny."

"Good," Granny smiled back. "Coffee's ready to go on the stove. Remember, he likes it with no cream or sugar."

"I know, Granny."

"You two enjoy the rest of yer morning. I'll tend to the critters outside and then see ya later this afternoon."

"Alright. Thanks, Granny," Applejack said with a nod. "And what's going on this afternoon?"

Granny stopped dead in her tracks as if she were spooked. "Err, what now? This afternoon? Did I say something bout that?"

"Uh, yeah. You just said-"

"Oh, right. The critters outside. Won't they just be tickled pink to see ol' Granny dishing out the goodies this morning? Take care now, dear. Enjoy yerselves."

After that bizarre exchange, Granny exited the front door to leave the two to their own devices. Just in time for Lumberman to finish his business upstairs. Applejack had opted not to question her good fortune and went back to make the coffee. She considered making a snack to go with the brew, but with the kitchen still a mess and breakfast on the way, there wasn't much point. At least Lumberman started his way down to join her so she'd have some conversation to pass the time.

"We got company? I thought I heard you talking to someone?" Lumberman asked.

"Oh, that was just Granny. She came to see how things were going down here and to feed the critters out back for us," She informed him, not mentioning the rest of the conversation she had. "Said the ice machine woke her up this morning. I'd say she's just bored from having to take it easy at the hotel like she is."

"Oh..." Lumberman had a sudden concern about his overnight stay. "She cool with me being here?"

"Pft," Applejack had to laugh at that. "I don't know what you did to impress ol' Granny, but she's taken to you like a bee to honey. Heck, at this rate, I doubt she'd bat an eye if you just up and moved yerself into the guest room."

"That so?"

"Just a guess."

"Think she'd be down for the belly rubs, or that a no-no here?" He joked.

"Uh, probably not the best idea, partner."

"Well, I'll take that as you probably don't want word getting out about your coping methods?"

"Word getting out?" She responded with a look of shock and a blush.

"I'll take that as a yes. You want it kept on the down-low. And I feel ya on that. No worries. You're not the first friend I've had lean on me for support and not want everyone and their brother to find out about it."

"I really do appreciate that, Woody. Everything, really. And I promise not to make a habit of taking advantage of your good nature."

"Bah. You worry too much, Apples. I like seeing you happy. You don't look as cute with a frown."

"Cute?" Applejack pretended to be swooned. "Awe, shucks, Sugarcube. You ain't got to flirt to keep them frowns away."

"Flirt?" Lumberman scoffed. "Can't you just take a compliment without feeding your ego?" He joked.

"Can't I have a little fun with ya, or is it too early in the day for that?" She stood up to tend to the coffee on the stove. "Seems you don't really warm up to me until the sun goes down anyhow. I can wait."

Lumberman gawked at Applejack, intentionally swaying her hips as she tended to the coffee to tease him. "Keep it up, Apples, and I just might warm up at the worst time just to embarrass yer ass."

She turned back to Lumberman, now entertained with this spike in his behavior. "You messing with me? Or is that a challenge?"

"I'm just saying. You wanna keep pushing this story that I'm coming after you like that, I can play that game. But, if you can blush like a tomato just in front of me, lord only knows how red you'd get in front of your friends."

"I don't think it's me that should be worried there, partner. I remember how fast you jumped at the sight of Big Macintosh making claims about you and me. It's you that don't wanna play this game. Cuz' I'm not one to play a game I can't win. Just ask Rainbow next time you see'er why she won't play me in horseshoes."

"We ain't playing horseshoes, sweetheart." Lumberman baited her as he took a seat.

Applejack pulled the coffee from the stove and poured two mugs. "Wanna make a wager on it?"

Lumberman was getting overconfident. "What are you willing to lose?"

She laughed. "Cocky fella ain't ya?" Waiting for his reply, she moved the two mugs on a small tray, picking it up in her teeth and carrying it over to the table.

Watching her carry something in her teeth was such an odd site for Lumberman. He felt bad for her in some way, having to perform even the most menial of tasks without hands like he could, or even the wings and magic the other species could use. "What I got you'd want if you won anyway?"

"Well, it's not like you came here with much to give up, so how about a thirty-minute rub down like last night? Any time I want. Fer a week."

"Damn, girl. Talk about transparent."

"I could'a asked for yer truck."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," He said with a wink. "But if I win, one home-cooked meal, at the time of my choosing, for a week."

"Deal."

"Deal."

They shook on it, and finally relaxed enough to enjoy their coffee. They were small mugs, so it wasn't a long exchange. Just enough time to head out together and not be too early to arrive at the castle.

The front door opened, and the two walked out together and hopped in the truck. Lumberman drove out back and rolled the window down so Applejack could give Granny a quick rundown of the breakfast plans. They even invited her along, but she politely declined and shooed them on their way.

Before they even left the property, Applejack took an interest in the interior of the human vehicle. Mainly the dashboard. "So, you never told me what all this stuff is."

"This?" Lumberman followed her eyes to see what she was referring to. "Oh. So, this is for the AC. Freezing cold to the left, burning hot to the right. This screen is my backup cam, navigation, and where I can play my music.

Applejack looked at the screen and questioned how a panel of glass with lights could play music. "What kinda music comes outta that thing?"

"Nah, the music comes out of the speakers, this is just where I control it. Watch."

Lumberman opened the center console and fumbled through a few cd cases until he found the one he was looking for.

He continued to explain as he prepared to put the disk in. "I grew up with rap and hip hop, but Cerb and them opened me up to some of the harder white boy music. There's not a lot of rock and metal I like, but they got some good stuff out there. But this - " He inserted the disk and switched stereo to the CD source - "This I fell in love with after I started doing construction and all the guys I worked with would play is country music."

Applejack watched the display run through a series of words in a small box next to the time until he stopped it at "Darius Rucker - Alrightt," and the music started to play. The music was soft and pleasant, but somehow upbeat and cheerful. Then after the singer repeated the name of the song a few times, the rest of the lyrics started up and made her laugh.

"Sorry," She apologized over the song. "All I can think about is how much this isn't a song for Rarity."

"Ha!" Lumberman could see the connection. "Yeah. I see what you mean."

The song continued with much of the same affair, talking about living a simple life and what sounded like finding happiness with the woman he loved and what sounded like the singer hinting at being his children.

"Ya know, for some reason, I didn't expect you to like this kind of music the way you reacted to my singing."

Lumberman didn't sugarcoat his feelings on her performance. "You were drunk and off-key by a mile."

She gave a low chuckle to his response. "Well, you should hear me when I'm not stumbling on your funny water."

The next song started up, and it was more somber in tone. She looked to the screen and read the name of the song "It won't be like this for long? It won't be like what?"

"Psh," Lumberman reacted playfully sarcastic. "Shut up and listen, and you might find out."

"Ah, yer no fun," She fired back with a goofy smile.

The song was sweet, but also sounded so sad about how he sang about so many happy things a father and husband would go through. The story dealing with the highlights of his daughter growing up and what the future with her would hold actually brought a tear to her eye. Then it ended with him realizing these happy days would end, and she would leave him for a life on her own. That last bit got her choked up, and Lumberman had to pause the start of the next song.

"Hey? You alright there, Apples?" A brief second of thought to figure out what could have set her off led to an obvious answer. "Oh, shit. Apples, I'm sorry. Your parents. I totally forgot about-"

"It's not that," Applejack answered back. "Well, yeah. Now that you mention it. It's sad tuh think my own father must'uh felt like that with Applebloom and me. And I'm not gonna have the chance to have him walk me down the aisle, " She sniffed and dried her eyes - "That's if I ever could get my hind end away from the farm long enough to find some pony. But that song was just... beautiful. That there is a stallion who really loves his family."

"Well, I'm sorry for bringing that part up about your parents. That's my bad. But also, Darius Rucker isn't a stallion. He's just a black dude like me."

Applejack turned to Lumberman with joyfully sad eyes, a little lost on what to say about slipping up with the whole species thing again.

"Okay. Maybe not exactly like me. He's a hell of a lot better singer and a fuck load richer." He added as a joke.

"Hey, now," Applejack jabbed him in the shoulder. "I thought you said that was the really bad word."

He laughed a little. "Yeah, and I also said we say it a lot, so you should overlook it. And don't hit the driver."

"Sorry, Woody," Applejack apologized and sat back in her seat. "Are all of his songs about family?"

That was an odd question to ask, Lumberman thought. "What? Darius's songs you mean?"

She pointed to the display. "If that's the one fella singing, then yeah."

"No." He answered back with a relaxed tone. "A lot of them are. Actually, there's a bunch of country songs that are."

Applejack was nervous to ask her next question, but she had a real interest to find out. "Is that why you like'em so much?"

"What'chu mean?" He asked with legitimate interest.

"Well, I don't mean to pry," Her voice made it clear that she had reservations about digging too deep with him. "It's just that after hearing you talk so passionately about your friends and how they've become your family after you lost so much of your own, and left the rest behind. I thought that maybe you liked these songs so much because you want a real family all of your own."

Lumberman couldn't believe she could extrapolate that from just two songs. He didn't know how to answer.

"Not saying that your friends can't be a real family," Applejack was quick to correct herself.

"No, I know what you mean," Lumberman played down any misunderstanding. "I do want a family of my own. A good wife, kids, a house away from the dirty streets of the city. Have a chance to live the family life I wish I had growing up."

Applejack nodded. "I reckon we want to take all the good we had and do it better than our parents did. Not that I have much of a high bar to pass."

"Yeah," Lumberman humorously scoffed. "Not as low of a bar as my parents set. At least my mom. My dad was cool as fuck, though."

"Language."

"Nah, for real. My dad may have run the streets like a boss, but he loved his kids. He didn't always show it, but he took care of us. Always looked out for us and toughened us up. Didn't sugar coat how life was. Treated me like a man, made my sister hard as nails. Laid down the law when my brother was act'n stupid. Even treated my mom like she was a queen, even when she was a trifling bitch."

"She was a wut now?"

"She was a rat. Uh snake. No loyalty, what so ever. Couldn't trust her for shit. Greedy and selfish. Life with her was all about what she wanted."

"Oh... Huh... You sure them two words cover all that?"

Lumberman laughed under his breath. "Nah. Just paraphrasing... I got a lot more words for her. Hell, if a picture is worth a thousand words, that bitch deserves her own art gallery."

"Her own art gallery?" Applejack asked the question in the same amount of time it took to get the joke. She literally slapped her knee while laughing. "Woody, you crack me up. But I'll refrain from talk'n disrespectfully bout your mom. Don't quite think it's my place to be doing as such."

"Pshh, forget that," He dismissed her generous offer. "You can talk all the trash you want about her. Shit like that brightens my day. But we're here anyway. Good thing too, since I'm hungry. You?"

In true cartoon fashion, Applejack's stomach growled. "Heh. I could eat."

A new set of guards took caution to the imposing truck as it pulled in. To a lesser informed pony, the massive Dodge Ram would be viewed as a monstrous armored creature or a foreign weapon of war. One would think that seeing Applejack in the front seat, laughing it up would be a cue to how non-threatening it was, but these two received a poor pass down from the guards they relieved.

"Calm yer tin hats," Applejack ordered as she stepped out from the passenger seat. "This here wagon ain't no threat to y'alls, so put them spears down."

"Yeah, guys," Lumberman called out as both doors closed. "Please don't stab my truck or something stupid like that. Not like having it puked on wasn't bad enough."

The two guards fumbled confusingly between standing at attention, saluting, and drawing their weapons. It was a mix of a comedic display of incompetence and a frightening display of dangerous levels of incompetence. It was all Lumberman could do not to ask them not to stab him as well.

Luckily, Rainbow Dash met them at the door before they even made it to the steps. "Will you two bone heads stop freaking out? You did the same thing not two minutes ago when Benny and Cerb came back. And you watched Benny leave, for crying out loud. - " She rolled eyes her before welcoming Applejack and Lumberman - "Anyway, come in you two. We're just waiting on Rarity and Fluttershy to get here. That and for Chris get out of bed. Becky said he puked seven times last night."

"Seven?" Lumberman asked with half a laugh. "Well, that's gotta be some kind of record."

Once inside, they were introduced to a lively event. Everyone had gathered around a makeshift bar Sniff was working. It was nothing more than a long stretched out table. The table looked to be set up far too formally for just breakfast. On closer inspection, Lumberman was surprised to see a bottle of champagne chilling next to a few pitchers of orange juice. There were also some cans of tomato juice and celery stalks next to a blender with a bottle of vodka.

Starlight flashed into the room and sought out Lumberman. "Hey, good morning, you two. - " She stepped close to Lumberman's side and stood up to whisper in his ear. "What did you tell Cerb? He showed me two more bottles of your drinks and asked 'Can you make more gifts with these like you did for Chris?' And then he winked like it was a secret."

"Sorry," Lumberman said a bit embarrassed. "I told him you could help us, but I didn't say how. - " He turned to her with an inquisitive look - "Is that something you can do, or would that be too risky?"

"No, I can. Just can't do it out in the open or have your friends blabbing about it."

"Blabbing about what now?" Applejack asked, having missed out on most of the conversation.

Lumberman turned back with an on the spot answer that didn't give away their secret. "Booze for breakfast. We're gonna do some day drinking it sounds like. But, just not get stupid with it like Chris did."

"That really the best idea?" Applejack asked, unsure what all it would entail.

"Hey, Starlight. How about you go help get the drinks ready. Do that magic chilling the drinks trick Twilight did," Lumberman directed the magic mare away so he could put Applejack's concerns at ease. "I don't plan on us guzzling the booze. Just a few mixed drinks to get the feeling right, ya know?"

Applejack didn't look all too convinced.

"You like orange juice?" He asked her.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, I'm gonna have myself a Mimosa. It's like fizzy orange juice with a kick. Heh, - " Lumberman remembered a goofy second name for the drink - "You know, it's funny thinking about it now. The Brits call it Bucks Fizz. Sounds like it'd be right up your alley. Kicken trees like ya do."

"Who or what are the Brits?"

"People from another country back on Earth. Don't worry about it. Come on, you'll like it."

"If you say so, partner."

"That'a girl," Lumberman, encourage her. "But you start singing something stupid, and I'm cutting you off."

"Oh, don't you go pretending you don't love my singing. - " Applejack cleared her throat, ready to have a little fun with playfully singing her song again to Lumberman - "C'mon now, Woody. You know this one."

"Gawd, damn it Apples."

"Yee-Haw!"

"Fuck..."

"♫ We travel the road of generations-"

Lumberman dashed up behind Applejack, swooping her up in his arms and cradled her like an oversized newborn. "♫Joined by common bonds!♫ - " He sang what he could remember Applejack singing, only he sang it out of tune with a hillbilly accent, overemphasizing the twang in his voice - "♫ We sing this song 'cross the pony nation!♫"

"What in tarnation are you doing, Woody!" Applejack protested as Lumberman continued to butcher her song.

Lumberman stepped up his game by letting her back legs drop down as he held her up, her hooves only inches off the ground. He carried her through some country styled two-steps. ♫We sing our song all across this pony nation. In Equestria and beyond.♫"

The song and dance number ended with a promenade spilling into a dip. Lumberman held her there, staring into her eyes that were ripe with confusion. "Should I keep on going there, dance partner?" He asked, before giving her a wink and making kissy lips at her.

What was happening? Applejack couldn't put his actions to any form of logic. Obviously, he was mocking her song. Then again, even she wasn't taking it seriously. But to pick her up and start dancing with her? Celestia on a warm summer day did his hands feel good holding her up, though. However, now he was up in her face making those gestures. He couldn't possibly have made a switch on his views about her that fast, could he?

And what was she supposed to do about it? She didn't like him that way. How did she like him? Why was she frozen and without a response? Was it getting hot in here? Was that a blush she felt burning in her cheeks?

"Hell, yeah!" Cerb shouted from the table he was sitting at. "Keep going! No! Wait! Let me start up some Garth Brooks. Shit... where's my phone?"

"Wait!" Applejack realized what this was. It was just as he said he would do back on the ride over, and he beat her to the punch. "You little..."

"Applejack?" Twilight's voice called out from above. "Were you and Lumberman singing a duet and dancing? - " She suddenly gasped at the prospect of a new study - "Can humans start songs just like ponies can? This is so amazing! Spike! Where's my emergency notepad?!"

"It's in your satchel!" Spike's voice called out from the kitchen.

"Where's my satchel?!"

"Right where you left it! Next to your bed!"

"No! My emergency satchel! The one for emergency observations and studies!"

"That is your emergency one! Remember?!"

"Oh, shoot," Twilight lamented, remembering that was her last reserve.

"Don't worry, Twilight," Applejack apologized, still dangling in Lumberman's arms, since he hadn't pulled her out of the dip. She knew she just got bested by her impromptu dance partner. Or at least she would lose this round unless she could top his play. "As for you. You got me fair and square, dance partner. We'll have to do this again sometime."

To everyone's shock, Applejack closed the distance between them and planted a kiss on his lips.

Now, there's no real telling who was the most shocked. Certainly, Lumberman would be a winning choice. Although, Twilight's reaction had her as a close contender. Cerb? He damn near dropped his phone. Sniff didn't know if he should laugh or pull Lumberman aside for an intervention. Benny was still trying to figure out if he actually really saw the two of them kiss. Pinkie Pie, though. She was no competition, clasping her hooves together and swooning at the sight of Applejack's first kiss.

"Game on, Woody," Applejack whispered with a wink before sliding out of his weakened hold. Once back on all fours, she strutted her victory trot towards the kitchen and took a big sniff of the sweet smell victory, and whatever was on the stove. "Hoo-Wee! Think you could use a hoof in there, Spike? Whatever yer make'n in thar smells sweeter than an apple fritter swimming in molasses."

"Well if that ain't just the pot calling the kettle black," Announced Chris as he stood atop the stares; an entourage of Kelly, Becky, Rainbow Dash, and Big Mac behind him. "I sleep through one day-"

"It's not what you think, Cowboy Cake," Lumberman quickly cut Chris off, hoping to pull himself together fast enough to explain.

"Cowboy Cake?" Chris scoffed with a laugh. "Okay, I'll take it. I did fall into a cake after all. But what have you been falling into since I've been gone?"

"I..." Looks like Lumberman would be taking a second loss. "I'm taking a walk. Call me when foods ready."

"Walk and talk, buddy. I gotta hear this." Cerb called out, coming out of his seat.

Benny started up just behind Cerb. "Twilight, give us a shout when foods ready. We gotta rag on Lumberman for a minute.”

Sniff reached for the bottle of vodka, but he had just missed it, as it had left with Starlight a few minutes ago. Kelly, Becky, and Chris were all in no shape to chase after Lumberman, and their pony companions weren't about to leave them. That left Twilight with the option to follow suit and run after Lumberman to start asking questions, but she wasn't even sure what she just witnessed?

"Can somepony please tell me what happened?" Twilight asked, hoping that perhaps one of the humans might have a clue.

Before anyone could admit they were just as lost, Starlight walked back into the room, carrying five new bottles of vodka, and another five of the champagne. "Wow. What's gotten into Applejack? I don't think I've ever seen her this happy so early in the day for anything that wasn't farm related."

"Oh, don't mind her," Kelly shouted down from the stairs as she slowly made her descent with Big Mac's help. "She just gave Lumberman a little taste of her applelicious lips."

"She what?!" Starlight shouted back, shocked at the idea of something like that going down after the talk she had with Lumberman.

"It's his own fault," Chris added with a grin. "Line dancing with her and singing her Apple Family song. What did he think was going to happen after doing that and holding like that? He was begging for it."

"He was being a jackass," Becky commented. "Not even her best song anyway."

"What's her best?" Chris asked, genuinely curious.

"Winter Wrap-up, duh," Becky answered with a coy smile.

"Awe, yeah! I love that song!" Rainbow Dash joined into the conversation. "But that was kind of everyponys' song. That Apple song is more her's than anypony else's. - " She turned to Big Mac escorting Kelly down the stairs alongside her - "Except maybe you and Granny, I mean."

Kelly shifted more of her attention to Big Mac while she continued down. "You sing, Big Mac?"

"Eeyup." Big Mac answered with noticeably fewer words than usual.

"Tsh," Kelly didn't expect him to be so verbally restrained. "Wow, don't get too excited now."

"Don't mind Big Mac," Rainbow Dash fluttered over and spoke directly to Kelly. "Big Mac's a nice stallion and all, but not much for carrying a conversation."

"Like hell he ain't," Kelly answered back with great enthusiasm. "Mac Daddy has been a gentlemen and amazing company the whole time I've been here. He happens to be a great conversationalist."

"Big Mac? - " Rainbow Dash eyed the big red stud - "A great conversationalist? How many conversations are there to have about apples?"

"Actually, Dash," Big Mac got her attention to clear things up. "There are actually a lot of things I can talk about besides just the Apple farm. Equestrian history, pony culture here in Ponyville and other areas we deliver to. Plus music, and a lot about Miss Kelly and everything she's been telling me about where she comes from."

It took Rainbow Dash a moment to process all that before she shot in a somewhat insulted gesture. "How come after all the times we've hung out you've never said more than five words to me, but Kelly shows up, and you suddenly discover an entire vocabulary?"

"Rainbow," Big Mac exclaimed, visibly alarmed. "I can't believe you know what the word 'vocabulary' means."

Rainbow Dash continued down in pace with everyone but was left speechless with her mouth agape. It was actually rather fitting that she kept her mouth wide open since she bothered to open it in the first place.

Becky brought her arm back and pulled Rainbow Dash down alongside her. "Rainbow, sweetie. You know you're my favorite pony here, but you walked right into that one."

Kelly chuckled. "Just be glad you're not subject to the walk-away rule. I don't know how long Becky would have to wait to see you again."

Rainbow Dash just grumbled incoherent words.

Fluttershy was just stepping out of her bath. A little sad to have washed off Cerb's scent, but not only would she have it on her again the next time they wrestled, she also had that little memento of him that Rarity had gifted her. Besides, after the workout she had gone through earlier with Cerb, as well as the extra exercise she finished giving herself just before the bath, the warm water was just the thing she needed to recover.

"I wonder what it would be like to try and pin Justin down in a bathtub? Hmm. No. We could slip and get hurt. Maybe just some cuddling like on Rarity's couch would work. Oooou. Maybe then he could use his hands to wash me up like Lumberman must have done with Applejack."

Nearly dry, Fluttershy stepped out of her private bathroom back into her room, ready for the last bit of prep work needed before breakfast.

"You know, Fluttershy," Rarity loudly asked, the ire on her breath tainting her words.

Fluttershy jumped. "Rarity! What are you doing here? In my room! - " She saw the mess on her bed she hadn't removed - "Oh, you really shouldn't be sitting there-"

"After getting thoroughly washed up in my bath, I had some time to relax and collect my thoughts."

"No, really. You probably don't want to be sitting-"

"Surely, Fluttershy would have nothing to do with this. Or at least she would have been able to see some type of warning that I was unaware of. Pull me aside, and give me all the information I needed so I wouldn't be left fearing for my life. Thinking that my body was going to turn itself inside out."

"Inside out?"

"Or at the very least, let me know how inexplicably wonderful it could be once dealt with properly. But then, I invite myself in, since you didn't answer the door. Truth be told I was generally concerned maybe something different had happened to you."

Fluttershy was getting nervous from Rarity's vagueness but seemed to hint at knowing her dirty little secret. "Ah? You're scaring me Rarity. Could you maybe be a little more clear, and maybe, possibly, not sit on my bed?"

"Oh, ho, ho," Rarity exaggerated her laugh. "Think nothing of it, my dear. Actually, you see, this is precisely the reason I'm waiting for you here and not downstairs. - " She reached her left hoof back and ran the crease of the pillowcase between the frogs of her hoof, creating a panicked look from her wingmare - "It's the smell, you see. - " She twirled her hoof under her nose, letting her anger cloud her judgment of doing what otherwise would have been too repulsive to consider - "It's unmistakable to me, now. That... bittersweet tang that sort of just... punches you in the face. Sort of sour at first, like you should stay away, but then deceptively sweet like a melody of fruits that seems pleasant enough."

There was no way Rarity could know what had just taken place, Fluttershy foolishly tried to convince herself. "Oh, that. I just laid down on my bed when I was still sweaty. I just need to wash those - "

"But it's what follows along with those two that convinced me you had to of known. Nowhere else have I ever come across such an oddly alluring perfume of a scent then from deep within the confines of a ladies most protected confines. And I only know that now because of you."

"What?" Fluttershy squeaked.

The dismissive and passive-aggressive tone of Rarity evaporated as quickly as she snapped her attention to her wingmare. "What did you do to me!" She growled.

Fluttershy started backing away to the bathroom, forgetting the door had closed behind her. "I - I didn't do anything! Honest!"

Rarity came upon her with the kind of speed that matched Fluttershy's hasty departure early that morning. Now convinced that Fluttershy was lying to her, she raised her hooves and pinned Fluttershy against the door, slamming her harder than was necessary. "Liar! The twitching of the ears - "

Fluttershy raised her forelegs and held down her ears, scared of having to admit what she had been doing and what her friend might do to her because of it.

Rarity continued berating her friend. "The way your tail flickered and slapped against you!"

Fluttershy tucked her tail between her legs and clamped her thighs together as another squeak escaped.

"Next thing you know, I'm leaking out from under my tail, slowly wetting myself like foal needing diapers. And then holding and mashing my lady parts like it owned the cure to magic exhaustion!"

"Oh, my gosh!" Fluttershy cried out, her eyes widening at this revelation.

Rarity reared her head back and rolled her eyes. "Oh, my gosh is hardly the kind of reaction I'd expect for- ouph!"

Fluttershy would waste no time on whatever rant Rarity was on. She had her own concerns to verify. As such, she dialed up her emotions, forcing her way out of Rarity's hold and all but clothes-lined her in the chest as she carried the irate white mare over to the only chair in her room. She forced her into the seat. "Don't move!"

Rarity was caught off guard from the sudden shift in Fluttershy, and for the moment would do as she was told. For in the moment, she feared perhaps this was some curse or possession, and any move against this compromised pegasus would invoke the wrath of - nope... Fluttershy just stuck a thermometer in her mouth and had started doing basic medical Triage on her.

"Uh..." Rarity tried speaking with the thermometer in her mouth. "Wrought err erou oing?

Fluttershy stuck her hoof out in front of Rarity to quiet her while counting the seconds on a stopwatch. "No, that's normal - " She pulled the thermometer from Rarity's mouth - "That's fine, too. - " She jotted some quick notes down on a piece of paper before turning her full attention, and a smile that was too pleasant for this exchange, to Rarity - "Now... tell me... when did this first start?"

Perhaps Rarity should have waited until after the breakfast party to deal with this level of insanity. "Do you mean me crawling around on the floor like some kind of crazy pony thinking that I was either melting or about to rip open and spill out like a banana, or you acting like a crazy pony, and I imagine, doing the same you did on your bed, myself?"

"Oh, no. My experience wasn't scary at all like that. - " She pulled back a bit - " Well, maybe a little scary. But it's not like it hurt, or I thought I was going to be injured or anything. What happened with you?"

It took a few back and forths before Fluttershy convinced Rarity that she had nothing to do with her sudden onset of depravity and loss of self-control. She, in fact, had to put her notes aside and allow herself to bring Rarity up to speed on all that she's been through. It was particularly difficult for her to be open enough to admit what her 'nice thoughts about time with Justin' consisted of. She only cried twice.

"Oh, Fluttershy. I don't think you're a horrible pony. And while I can understand why you wouldn't want to just come out and talk to me about this... no... I completely understand. I believe I would have done much the same and have allowed things to get much worse if I thought I was going through this alone. But... since you were brave enough to open up to me."

Rarity than ran through the events of that day. Doing her best not to water down too much of what all she was doing back at her boutique; the discovery she made, how she was so focused on those thoughts, the handkerchiefs effects that she only now understood to be at fault, what cleaning herself and the self-examination had led to, and how she eventually gave in. She finished with going back before her bath and mad dash over to admit that the sensation she felt was just as breathtaking and incredible as Fluttershy had described hers to be.

"So... what is this? What's happening to us?" Rarity finally asked.

Fluttershy looked at the notes she just finished adding more comments to and then discarded them to her makeup stand. "That's what I'm trying to figure out. I thought I knew the first night. Well, more like I knew what it was, but I also didn't know what 'it' was."

Rarity was grasping for straws. "And do you have any clue what 'it' is?"

"Procreation?" Fluttershy admitted, in her typical shy fashion.

"Could you run that by me again, dear," Rarity was having a mini panic attack. "I could have sworn you said... procreation."

"I did. But now I don't know," Fluttershy admitted, sounding defeated.

Rarity rose from her seat, clearly rejecting such a reality. "Well, of course, it can't be procreation. I mean, that involves - " She didn't know the words she was looking for and struggled silently before moving on - " You know. When a stallion and mare love each other very much. Wait! See! Justin isn't even a stallion. At - at least not by pony standards. But even still, how would we even... we'd have to... he'd need... I... I'm sorry, darling. I'm apparently a bit too flustered at the moment. Remind me how this is done so we can both agree on how we can't do... do... do the...."

"I don't know, Rarity," Fluttershy broke the bad news, and was about to break the worst news of all. "That's the 'it' that I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Rarity huffed. "Every pony knows about... well... how... Oh, blast it all. I just can't think of the words."

"Rarity," Fluttershy quietly spoke up. "Do you have any idea what any of the words are supposed to be?"

Rarity turned back to Fluttershy, a spark of indignant anger glowed in her eyes.

"Or what it might look like?"

In an instant, her mind went to wear her mind held the kind of thoughts it wasn't supposed to think of, but there was nothing there.

"Or maybe the last time you thought about it?"

Again, Rarity had no recollection of such thoughts.

"The last time somepony else talked about it? Had talked about doing it? Read about it in a book? A picture drawn of it? Anything at all? Can you even think of anything that might mention what 'it' is?"

All these questions Rarity was asked, and they all had the same set of answers they should not have. "No?... No... Never... And not anypony. Nothing. Nowhere. How can we not know this?!"

Fluttershy brought up a stack of books and dropped them on her makeup table. Then a second stack. And again, a third stack of the books she borrowed from Twilight. "Until Zecora gets back, I thought I would do what I could to help our new guest. But then all those terrible things happened with Kelly, and we started taking care of Justin, and him taking care of us. And then we spent the whole day together. And... well, you remember what I told you about what happened after Sweetie Belle sang that song, but I've been reading over every book I could think of to help me understand this... But it's like that information just doesn't exist."

"Well, that simply can't be," Rarity protested as she marched over to the piles of books. "Maybe you just misread something or skipped a page on accident. - " She forced one of the books open, flipping the pages, scanning for any keywords that may pop out and grab her attention - " You just have to know how some ponies tend to phrase certain words, so they don't- Ah! Here we are. - " She started to read from the book - "When the spring season begins, it is common for most mammals to seek a partner to start a family of their own. It has been noted that generally the more carnivorous the species of Mammalia, as well as within other genuses, the males often become more aggressive during their partnering seasons."

This was all old news Fluttershy had read many times over. "Oh, by all means, please read on. I don't know how I never thought to read how they phrase words and translate them to mean something other than what the words on the paper spelled out."

Rarity knew she was well educated enough to figure this out. "Hush dear, obviously this part doesn't apply to us. Oh! Here we are. Females. Ahem... During these seasons, are nearly uniform across all species that females exert nearly all similar alterations in their behaviors. Much of their behavior may make them appear to act out irrationally, become overly affectionate towards potential male suitors, and become more territorial and aggressive towards other females. It is also seen in many species, although the methods can change dramatically, for females to even alter their physical appearance, by natural occurring or physical means, to attract a partner."

This was all useful information and educational, but maybe what Rarity was looking for could only be addressed after males and females were described separately.

"Don't worry. I'm sure I'm getting to it. Any second now. Let's see. Okay. Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-ah. Once prospective partners have been found, males will often make a display of strength and their health, as well as an offering to show they can provide safety for their new partner and future family. This can be different in more carnivorous species, who may challenge their partner in displays of strength or combat to show they are capable providers. Females also have been observed to evaluate the scent of a partner. Potentially, a more appealing scent being a sign of good health and compatibility. Once a choice is made, these new partners will spend the remainder of the spring and summer together before the autumn when they prepare for the long winter. Upon the new spring, they will emerge with a family of their own! What the ass waste is this! Who wrote this book?!"

"World-renowned zoologist pony Sir. Phylum Studium."

Rarity did a slow turn, her eyes wide with disbelief.

Fluttershy cleared her throat. "He's also the head of the Royal Canterlot Zoology Society, teaches at the Royal Academy, and is designated as the lead advisor to Celestia on matters concerning conservational considerations for all animals in Equestria and gives personal expedition briefings to the Royal Guard ponies for the wildlife that exist outside our Kingdom. So I think if he knew something important about procreation in the book about procreation... he probably would have mentioned it."

"Perhaps... - " Rarity wasn't giving up just yet - "But what about all these other books that-"

"The first stack doesn't even mention the idea of procreation or reproduction. The second stack, just like the book you read from, only cover the before or after. And the third stack of books are all just as useless, but I have to give them back to Twilight."

"So... this whole thing with our bodies. You think it has something to do with us wanting to find a partner? So our bodies think Justin is our partner, or did we somehow get pregnant and not know it?" Rarity asked, hoping that the last prospect wasn't even possible. Not for a pony of her social stature at least.

"Well, from everything I've been able to read so far, it seems like we've both come into season. It is spring after all, and I guess our bodies think we're ready to start a family. And for how close we've been snuggling up to Justin, and how we react to just his smell, I don't see how it could be the other two."

Another thought came to Rarity as she ran the list of courting observations over in her mind. "Do you think this whole ordeal with Justin training you is his attempt to prove his value as a protector and a provider?"

"Oh, my. I never thought of that. His kind is more carnivorous in nature. So that would make sense. But then why would he go on that date with you? Unless he's confused on what way works best to woo a pony?"

Rarity sighed, looking at her left forehoof. "I don't know what to think anymore. - " She silently excused herself to rinse off her hoof in the bathroom. "But if we don't figure this out soon, we're going to be late for breakfast."

Fluttershy spun around to take a seat at her makeup table and started to fix her appearance in the mirror. "Oh, I don't think we'll have this figured out anytime soon. There is so much we still don't know, or even who to ask."

A few moments of Fluttershy fixing her hair and Rarity rinsing under the sink went by in otherwise unspoken silence. Finally, the water stopped, and Rarity stepped out back into the room. She smiled an apologetic smile and cocked her head to the side to Fluttershy who did much of the same back, still brushing her hair.

"Breakfast!" They both shouted at each other.

"They must all be there by now!" Rarity shouted.

Fluttershy tried to finish her hair as fast as she could. "They won't start without us. They wouldn't."

"What if he's there waiting for us?!"

"What if he gets tired of waiting for us?"

They both turned to each other. "Pinkie!"

Rarity grabbed what few beauty items were on the makeup table and stuffed them into Fluttershy's saddle bags. "No time for that now! We need to get there first, stake our claim, make sure Pinkie doesn't lay a hoof on his lever, and then we can worry about working on your mane, which already looks smashing dear."

Fluttershy took a moment to warmly return the kind comment. "Thank you. You look gorgeous this morning, too. Now let's go!"

Rarity placed the saddlebags on Fluttershy's back, strapped them tight, and turned to lead them out. "Yes, of course, I'll get the dooooooooooooooor-"

There was no need to take the door. Not when Fluttershy could just pick up Rarity and drop kick their way out of her bedroom window. Not that she told Rarity that was her plan. No time for that. There was a breakfast to attend and a human stallion to be betrothed.

Through the rushing of the wind over her ears, Fluttershy could barely hear some soft string of words from Rarity as she carried her, locked in her forelegs.

"ow own."

Fluttershy looked down to see Rarity holding on for dear life. "Did you say slow down?"

Rarity gripped tighter. "No! Don't slow down! Go faster!"

"Oh! Right!"

Rarity and Fluttershy entered the dining area where nearly everyone else had congregated. Most everyone was standing around a smaller table where Sniff and was demonstrating how to mix a can of tomato juice with a bottle of what looked to be one of their alcohol bottles. Looks like it was going to be a lively breakfast.

"Morning, all of you," Rarity made herself known.

"I hope we're not too late," Fluttershy added.

Sniff warmly greeted them. "Hey! Butter! Diamonds! Finally! We're all here. Can we eat now?"

Becky took a sip of her drink and looked up to correct him. "No, Pinkie's not here yet."

"Isn't Pinkie one of those background characters?" Sniff asked, acting like he was confused.

"No," Chris grunted. "I never should have even told you that term. Just don't touch her pancakes and you'll be fine. Unless you want her crawling all over you again. Oh wait, she doesn't have a crown. Right, Becky?"

Becky giggled behind her hand. "Yep. Ain't no crown, he ain't down."

Sniff capped the bottle of vodka and left Starlight to mix a bloody mary on her own. "I don't know if I should deny everything outright or thank you for giving me such high standards."

Twilight finished off her mimosa before adding her own two cents. "I can't tell where you all stand with this whole pony human dating thing. Between all your favorable comments, then posing relationships with ponies as insults, but with all the craziness yesterday and even AJ kissing Lumberman this morning. I'm so confused."

Chris did his best not to let the comment on things he's said get to him. "Pretty sure even the best case scenario is something that just isn't gonna happen."

"Yeah," Becky added. "Pretty sure we'll be gone before anything could happen."

"Or it would just happen in secret," Kellly spoke up with a giggle in her voice.

"Y'all know where I stand," Sniff proclaimed with a huff.

Kelly grinned. "Yeah, but where you lay-"

Sniff wasn't drunk enough for this. "Can it Kelly, don't make me have your left side match your right side."

A loud thud came on the far side of the bar table, making all the bottles and even Sniff jump. Sniff looked over to see Big Mac leaning over on the table, glaring a look that was by no means a joke, and his large hoof laid out heavily for him to see.

That pose and expression, along with the massive amount of muscle he was flexing was all the warning Sniff needed to know not to make that joke again. "Or, you know. Just think mean thoughts and keep them to myself... Another drink big guy? Orange juice, right?"

Big Mac didn't soften his glare. "Nope. I'm thinking about something bloody."

"Bloody Mary it is," Sniff said, moving to pour a glass.

Big Mac flexed his hoof into the table a little harder and huffed. "What's a Bloody Mary?"

Kelly reached out with her good hand and slapped Big Mac's leg. "Mac, be nice."

"Awe," Big Mac whined as he dropped the tough guy act. "But look how good I got'em."

"Wait?" Sniff realized he just got fooled by a farm horse. "That was a joke? I about shit out my heart."

"Yes, that's wonderful, dear," Rarity clearly didn't care, and her tone showed it. "Where are Cerb and the others? The large yellow wagon belongs to Lumberman, is he not here either? And that Ben fellow isn't here either I see."

Fluttershy started to get a bit nervous that with every passing moment, Cerb could be slipping farther and farther away from her. "Oh, we didn't miss them, did we?"

Becky leaned ahead to look around the corner she saw them all wander off behind. "Nah. After Lumberman lost in a battle of wits to Chris, he took his walk of shame. Cerb and Benny chased after him to tease him and see if there was more than a kiss between him and AJ, more than likely. They'll be back by the time food's served."

"Oh, well then," Rarity was relieved to hear he hadn't wandered off with some new competition. "In that case, we'll just go freshen up. Had to rush here, unfortunately."

Becky didn't seem to share her concerns. "You mean make yourself look pretty? Pshh! Come on. The most fabulous gorgeous pony and the world's cutest pony, needing to go make themselves look pretty? You both look fine. Sit down and have a drink before the food gets out here. Come on, Chris. help me out here."

Chris let his head slink down to the table. "Please don't make me."

"Oh, come on now, Chris," Starlight called out as she trotted over to Chris with two tall glasses of Bloody Marys. "Speak your mind. if anypony has something bad to say about what you like or don't like, they can deal with me."

"What can you do?" Sniff asked, not sure if she was acting cute or being serious.

Chris brought his head up to scold Sniff. "Dude... She was the last pony I told you guys about. Remember? Time spell? Sang the 'Friends are always there for you' song."

Sniff remembered that song and how it was the only time he made a gay comment about the show after Chris started getting deep into it."Oh yeah, that song that-"

"Is her all-time favorite song..." Chris cut him off before he said something stupid.

"that... " - Sniff could see the look Chris was giving him, which made him pause long enough to remember that Starlight was the pony that had a one-on-one fight through time and almost killed everyone and or destroyed the whole world - "You just said she sang the song, not that she liked it."

Starlight waved a hoof as to feign being modest. "Well, Chris has another version of the song that I like a lot better."

Sniff tried to play it cool, grateful that the only pony to notice he was trying to save his own ass was Twilight. Even more grateful that she wasn't diming him out. "Chris... has... yet to share that with me. I will have to give it a listen when he can play it for me."

"Okay, I've been away long enough," Lumberman's voice called out from behind the hallway he originally left behind. "Food ready yet?"

"No!" Chris hollered back. "But you can come back anyway."

The three men walked entered the room, looking a little giddy, but not as excitable as the others would have expected.

"But yeah," Chris continued. "You both look just as Becky said. Stay and enjoy a little hair of the dog with me."

"Hair of the dog?" Rarity scrunched up her face in disgust. "That sounds disgusting."

Starlight giggled. "It's not dog hair. It's just what they call drinking more alcohol with a hangover."

Chris raised his glass. "That's what Bloody Marys are the best at."

"Oh." Rarity seemed a bit more at ease. "Well, in that case, Fluttershy. Shall we?"

Fluttershy was happy to stay now that Cerb was back. "Of course. What are we having?"

Cerb took a seat between two empties. "The Bloody Mary's are fine, I guess. But I say go with the Mimosa. A little easier on the stomach if you ask me."

"Hoo-Wee!" Came the southern voice of everyone's' favorite Apple Mare. "I hope y'all brought an appetite. Spike sure went all out for the lot of ya."

"You two get seated." Starlight instructed Fluttershy and Rarity. "Sniff showed me how to make these. There super easy, but so good."

Applejack trotted in closer. "We all here?"

"Everyone but Pinkie," Chris informed her.

"No! Wait!" Pinkie's voice shouted from down the hall. "I'm running late! Don't eat without me!"

Benny seemed to perk up at the sound of her voice. "Now it's a party!"

"Calm down, Cookie Kisses," Cerb chuckled as two drinks levitated on either side of him.

Benny waved him off. "Ah. Keep a handle on it, Lever Action."

Rarity was taking a sip when she heard that, causing her to swallow wrong and immediately spit and cough up her drink. "Oh... It's bubbly... Wasn't expecting that." A good cover story.

"Here comes breakfast!" Spike shouted with glee as he pushed in a large food cart.

Whatever it carried, it smelt wonderful. Something buttery, salty, and just the right amount of seasoning.

Spike started to introduce the first dish. "Back in Canterlot, Princess Celestia told me of some of the other ponies from far away that would come to visit, and they really liked eggs for breakfast. This was one of the dishes they requested. Not many ponies in this Kingdom knew how to make it right, so she decided to learn to do it herself. Then she showed me after I kept bugging her about it."

"Oou. I think I know what this is. - " Twilight squeed as she turned to the human guest sitting around her - "You're all going to love this. I've only had this a few times before. And if Spike is even half as good as Celestia at making them. You're in for a real treat."

Sniff poured himself a tall glass of mostly champagne and a splash of orange juice for color before moving to take a seat next to where Spike would sit. "I got faith in you, little buddy. What you got for us?"

The cart came to a stop between the two tables and Spike pulled out a small set of steps that were built into the cart. He climbed his way to the top and pulled back the cover. "For our first course, eggs benedict with sauteed chives, mushrooms, and garlic over Holsteinerandaise sauce on a Balish muffin. And don't worry. It's not made from a bale of hay, it's just a name."

Everyone remained seated, and the plates were filled one by one as telekinesis was the means of passing the dishes about. When all the plates were filled, Spike took his spot next to Sniff and Twilight rose to give a toast to their gathering.

"Ahem," Twilight called their attention. "We have gathered here this morning, not just at the request of Spike to impress us with his cooking skills, but also to celebrate the fast developing friendship and bonds we have started to form here. When we first met, we were all frightened, confused, and unsure of what may lay ahead of us. But with every concern that has crossed our path, we have found the truth that has put our minds at ease. With every new conversation, more clarity about who and what type of creatures you all are, and I hope just as much clarity on our behalf. And while I do not know exactly how the future will unfold before us, I expect great things to be had with all of you being a part of it until we find a way to return you home."

She looked around the room to see the uniformity of cheerful and hopeful faces and Sniff pouring some of his drink into an empty glass for Spike. "As a callback to when we first came together at the sun setting on the first day of your arrival but now with all of us here together under the banner of friendship, I ask you to raise your glasses."

Everyone stood with their glasses raised.

"A toast to the first humans of Equestria!"

This time around, they would spare each other the long drawn out banter of each toasting to something all their own. Instead, they let Twilight's words steal the show.

They all cheered in unison. "To the first humans of Equestria!"

Next Chapter: 32. A Proper Introduction: Take Two Estimated time remaining: 86 Hours, 37 Minutes