The new morning in the human household was steadily becoming the organized chaos one would have to expect when mixing this cast of stranded humans and three magic talking ponies. But at least they were able to wake up to another free breakfast. However, two of the new residents to Ponyville would have to wait until after their baths to enjoy the freshly baked eats.

In the tub farthest from the entrance, Cerb was laughing like a jackal. "Oh my god! Old lemon rinds! Are you kidding me?"

Sniff took a break from scrubbing under his armpits to throw a bar of soap at his unsupportive friend. Even with his tub being so close to Cerb’s, he just barely missed him. "Fuck you and your Chef Boyardee scented Old Spice smelling ass."

Cerb easily dodged the cleaning projectile and took that as his cue to lay off the surprisingly sensitive remarks he was given. "Awe, come on Sniffles. What the fuck do you care?"

For Sniff, it didn't matter where he was or who he was with. He had an image to uphold. "I don't care if this is the last place I want to be or if there are no women here for me to seduce. I don't want to be the guy walking around smelling like rotten fruit."

Cue or no cue, this was too much fun to pass up on. "Okay, okay. I'm sure we can find something to help you out. We can't have the royal consort moving into the castle smelling like-"

A splash of water put an end to whatever joke Cerb was making.

"Come on man, this really can't be what's got you so worked up," Cerb asked, finally taking his friends reactions with some seriousness. "Seriously, though. What's going on?"

"Hey, guys! Shut up and cover up!" Kelly's voice shouted from just outside the bathing tents flap. "We're coming in. Sorry, not sorry."

The tents flap glowed in a blue aura and opened wide, allowing Kelly to make her slow and awkwardly painful steps into the tent. She wasn't alone though. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy walked on either side of Kelly. An outstretched wing in each hand was offered to give support like feathered crutches. The flaps closed and the same aura moved to surround Kelly's entire figure.

Rainbow Dash raised her free wing to shield her eyes from the nude men on her right. "Sorry! Sorry! Not looking. Just helping Kelly."

Fluttershy looked to be doing the same, though her primary feathers failed to cover her eyes or her blush.

A normally not so self-conscious Sniff lowered himself further into the tub. "Uh, what the fuck Kel?"

"Sorry for the intrusion gentleco- Ehem. Gentlemen," Rarity started to apologize. "Both your lady friends needed some assistance as soon as they woke this morning. Lumberman is busy with Becky trying to get her tea ready, the poor thing. And Kelly, you see-"

"I need to piss like a racehorse," She unabashedly explained. "Benny's on the bucket, so I'm using the nicer toilet in the back there."

Both Cerb and Sniff averted their eyes to the back side of the tent, taking notice of the similar flaps like that of the front.

Cerb was both shocked and pissed to only just now figure this out. "These bath tents come with porta-johns?"

Rarity gave Cerb a 'matter of fact' type of 'know it all' smile. "Well of course. Only the best for a Princess and our human ambassadors."

"Rarity," Rainbow Dash demanded her attention. "Eyes up front, would ya. Get the door."

"Oh, right. Sorry," She quickly responded, splitting her magic between helping to support Kelly and opening the cloth barrier to the toilet area. "Do you need any help in there, dear?"

There was a slight groan of discomfort from Kelly on the far side of the cloth before she answered. "No." Her voice was hushed for some reason. As if she was much farther away than the ten or fifteen feet she must have been. The drop in her volume was worrisome to her male friends.

"Hey, Kel!" Sniff hollered out to her. "You got real quiet in there! Everything alright?"

Again her voice came back sounding even more distant. "What?"

"It's nothing, sweetie! Just the special curtains I told you about!" Rarity shouted out even louder than Sniff had. She then turned to Cerb and Sniff with an embarrassed smile. "Noise-canceling fabric. Very expensive, but priceless if you value privacy."

"Privacy?" Sniff mockingly asked like he didn't understand the word. "What's that like?"

Silence overtook the tent for a short stint after Rarity picked up on how unwelcomed their company was. "Sorry, again. Kelly made it sound urgent that she be helped out here. We would have taken her to the other bath tent, but it seemed much too painful for her to walk that far, and we don't seem to have fully recovered from our exhaustion. So helping her is just about as difficult for us as this short trip is for her."

The mere mentioning of the sacrifice they made seemed to remove a lot of the tension from Sniff. Even looking at the mares made it clear they weren't trying to intrude. Rarity was standing at an angle where she could only see them if she strained her eyes to look behind her. Fluttershy sat on her rump just a few steps ahead. She was hunkered over like she was awaiting some punishment, still beat red in the face, and her eyes and ears were nervously darting between the fabric doors and the tubs where the two were still bathing. Then there was Rainbow Dash. She was the farthest away, staring vehemently towards the corner of the tent away from them all. More than any of them, she was doing her best to take the humans privacy into consideration.

Sniff sunk even lower into the tub. "Sorry. I guess even my attitude stinks today."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "I was joking, you big cry baby. You smell fine."

Snickering broke out from Cerb's tub. "Oh damn, Smelly. She got you good. You were gonna cry over smelling like rotten fruit."

"I didn't say rotten fruit,” Rainbow Dash corrected him. “I said old lemon rinds. And it was a joke. It's actually a lot more like clovers."

Sniff blinked in rapid succession trying to put that straight in his mind. "So, is that good or bad?"

Fluttershy pulled her wing back enough to give some more focused attention to Sniff. "We, umm, use clover in a lot of our meals. It's very refreshing. And um, some ponies like to plant them outside their windows, so the wind blows their scent in. It makes their homes smell nice."

Rarity put aside any concern for his modesty and addressed him directly. "We're terribly sorry if Dash's joke upset you. It was all in good fun. But yes, clover is a lovely scent to have." - She turned sharply back to Rainbow Dash - "Unlike some mares who smell like an unkempt sock drawer."

Rainbow Dash snapped her head back towards the insult. "Hey!"

Somehow that simple correction brightened Sniff's mood immensely. "Dude! I don't stink! Hell yeah!"

"You and your precious little ego. You're adorable, Sniffy." Cerb responded half laughing.

"Yay," Fluttershy meekly joined in on the one man celebration, slowly clopping her hooves together.

"So..." Cerb stepped in to shift the attention away from the growing embarrassment of Fluttershy. "Dinner tonight. Where and when?"

Rarity's ears perked up. "Oh yes, we never did discuss a time."

Before any further discussion could be had about the matter, Kelly emerged from behind the cloth. "Sorry for the wait. Forgot the cloth was sound proof. I sat there asking for help until I got fed up and started walking out, touched the cloth, and was like, 'Oh yeah...' I need coffee."

"You're the salt of the Earth, Kelly," Cerb snickered.

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy again took their positions alongside Kelly and raised a wing to help escort her out. Rarity took her place behind the three, letting her aura help support Kelly.

"Salt of the Earth, huh?" Kelly asked with a cocky gesture. "Well, this salt of the Earth is gonna eat every Danish."

That actually got Cerb excited. "They got Danishes?"

"Nope," She gleefully answered before turning to look back over her shoulder. "But I do, now."

"Damn it! No! Not cool, Kelly!" His eyes widened as he watched her grab up the last two towels and their clothes, throwing them over her shoulder. He started to stand up but stopped short of exposing himself and sat down again. "Hey! The fuck?"

"I dunno. I guess I'm grouchy when I don't get enough sleep," She answered back while teasingly flipping him off.

"Hey!" Sniff shouted back. "What ya taking my shit for, too? What I do?"

She answered without even looking back. "Lots of things."

"Stop trying to peak, Fluttershy," Rainbow hushed just loud enough for everyone to hear anyways.

The front flaps parted open, and the two had to watch the four make their slow exit, Rarity being the last one out. She turned back to them, smiled, winked, and closed the flaps.

The two sat in their tubs and reflected. Neither of them were really all that shocked. This wasn't the first time she'd done this to either of them. And there was no real rhyme or reason to why or when she would.

"You think she's just fucking with us because she's Kelly, or is she upset over last night?" Cerb finally asked.

Sniff started to laugh to himself, remembering Cerb waking everyone up in the dark hours of the morning. "Well, you flipped Lumberman's mattress, with him still in it, covered Kelly with the fucken-" His laughter built up to the point where he couldn't continue. “With the fucking coffee table and started screaming.”

Even Cerb was laughing along with him. "What did I say when Ben turned the flashlight on me?"

"Hit the deck-" Sniff was having a hard time keeping himself composed. "-Hit the deck. Someone dropped a house on the convoy, and we're out of RipIts."

Cerb lost it and fell on his back in the tub, momentarily submerging himself in the bath water. He popped back up, coughing and spitting. "Jesus Christ. I miss them fucking things, man. God, I wish I could go back..."

"Dude, don't be saying that shit," Sniff protested with a hushed and aggravated voice. "What's there to miss about that fucked up war?"

Running water started to pour into Cerbs tub as he laid back, deciding to enjoy however long he was going to have to wait until someone brought him a towel. "I don't expect you to understand, man. Life was simpler. It was just me, my orders, my brothers... and them. I had value and purpose."

"That's bullshit. You still do. You always did." Sniff argued while tossing a luffa, having it bounce of Cerb’s head. "And you were our brother long before you were theirs. We depended on you like you depended on them."

"It's not just about them or any of you," Cerb went on to say. "It's selfish. I just don't know what I'm doing. Every day I'm in the wind, ya know. I just want to be back in the fight. At least then my paranoia wouldn't keep hurting and scaring everyone away."

"Quit yer fucking pity party. You put up with all of our crazy stupid shit for years. You think we're gonna leave ya behind just because you're returning the favor."

Cerb scoffed. "Returning the favor?"

"Running from the cops with Lumberman. Carrying me and Kelly's drunk asses everywhere and taking care of Becky all them years. And god knows how many fights you either had to break up or finish for us. I mean, shit. Where would Chris be without you? Don't think he would have made it out of middle school without you there."

"What about now?"

"Now we're stuck in a fucking cartoon with talking horses that use magic and stab people. If we ever fucking needed you, it's here and now."

Cerb raised his arms up and waved his fingers. "Yeah, but here my hands are kinda tied."

"You mean they're proverbially tied, or you telling me they'll be literally tied up in some bondage shit after your date tonight?" Sniff chuckled.

Cerb tossed back the luffa, just barely missing Sniff. "No. This isn't some lunchroom brawl, or a fight in the parking lot, where people take their hits and walk away. And it's not like fighting in the sandbox going door to door hunt'n jihadist. We're all strangers in a strange land. Murder is a huge taboo, and half the time I can't tell if I'm big enough where I could kill a pony on accident or if I'm reading it all wrong and I could be crushed, stabbed, or magic'ed to death without a chance to react."

"You think so?"

"I dunno, man. I mean. Their guards seem kinda cool and all, but I don't think half of them know what the fuck they're doing. So I could probably hold out in the long game. But the short game, or close quarters and hand to horse combat... I dunno. Seems most of them are either too strong, too fast, or can do magic."

"Yeah... but you still scare the fuck out of them though. You're big as shit, man."

The folds to the front of the tent again started to part their way open and a pony’s pure white muzzle poked through. "Is it safe to come in?"

The situation wasn't likely to get any worse by letting them back in, and Sniff was about spent on his fucks to give. "Fuck it. Sure. Why not. Come in."

"Sorry for intruding on you both again, but I would have felt terrible leaving you both left out to dry, if that phrase ever had a truer meaning." Their two towels and bunched up clothes hovered in and were placed back where Kelly had snatched them.

"We also thought you both deserved to have a chance to pick something you would like from what Rainbow Dash brought over." Fluttershy paused to gauge how the two were responding from their offer. They both seemed to have lowered their prior hesitation and were warming up and letting them linger a bit longer, so she continued forward with the box of assorted pastries. "We can just, um, leave them here if you like. Or we can hold onto them until you're done and eat together if you want."

Sniff motioned to Cerb with a nod of his head tilting back. "What you think?"

The squeaking of the faucet from Cerb's tub shut off the water by his foot, stopping the water from overfilling his tub. He was about to give his answer when he noticed a strawberry cream cheese danish resting over the edge of his bathtub on an assembly of some elegant yellow feathers. " Towels, clothes, and a danish. What's the old saying? Never look a gift horse in the mouth?"

"Awe, I see what ya did there," Sniff laughed out with a point and wink.

"Oh," Cerb mumbled with his mouth half full before swallowing. "Where's this place at and when we going? And..." - he chuckled to himself - "Sorry, I was gonna ask what the dress code was. But... yeah. Plus, all I got with me is a pair of jeans and the same shirt I wore yesterday."

The box of muffins opened up, freeing half a dozen muffins of all different flavors. They were floated up into Sniff's reach.

"Take your pick, dear," Rarity offered before turning her attention to Cerb. "Well, Grapes and Olives is just up in town. Not too far away from my shop, actually. And we can go anytime after I close up for the night, unless you'd prefer to go earlier. I do have a lot of work to catch up on, but I wouldn't mind if it was easier for you."

"No, no," Cerb waved his hand. "By all means, I don't need to put you out more than you've already been."

A romantic scene started to play out in Rarity's mind with the setting of the sun and the two of them walking side by side in the soft glow of the fading light. "Well, then. In that case, I close up around dusk. So around eight o'clock would be perfect. If you like, you can come down to my boutique, and I can do a proper fitting on you. Give you something a little more formal to wear, perhaps?"

"Just don't tear this one up like the last one," Sniff jested with a mouth full of muffin.

"Easy there, Poacher," Cerb warned, waving a finger. "Ya got me in enough trouble as it is."

"Fine," Sniff gave in. "At least switch it up. Break something of Fluttershy's this time."

A few chuckles from the two distracted them long enough to miss Fluttershy's ear twitch again and her blush. For a moment she wondered what she had that he could break, but nothing came to mind, though the thought was nice.

"Well, I think we've bothered you two long enough," Rarity spoke up. "Come along Fluttershy. Let's leave the boys to finish up."

Fluttershy took a deep breath to say her farewell, but sitting too close to Cerb only gave her a nose full of his scent. Whatever words she had in mind to say were washed away in his aroma. Her blush returned, and she quickly trotted out behind her romantic accomplice. Something of her mannerisms suddenly looking all too familiar to the local poon hound.

The watchful eyes of Sniff followed the two out, and he waited till he assumed they were far enough away not to hear them. "Hey, man," He started to ask as he turned back to Cerb. "You don't think they actually got a thing for you, do ya?"

Cerb shrugged. "I dunno, man. You'd think it'd be some kinda taboo. But if they are, Chris is in luck. Why? You got an itch you need to scratch?"

"Always, but that's not the point," Sniff reasoned to his friend. "I don't think those two are just being nice. I mean, maybe we're being naive about this. No, I mean... " -He leaned forward and started back again with a hushed voice - "What the fuck are we even doing? We've had more than enough time here to have the shock ware off. Why is no one losing their minds over this cartoon world bull shit?"

A questionable glare found its way from Cerb to Sniff. "Is it really a cartoon world? Where are the pencil lines and paint? As fucked up as this is, this is very much real."

"Okay, fine," Sniff conceded. "Not an actual cartoon world, but you know what I mean. We're all way too calm about this. Me included."

He was making a lot of sense the more Cerb thought about it. They all had accepted everything that had been happening to them far too easily. Talking horses, magic, an alliance with the leader of their country and a pay off after Kelly was almost killed. Hell, he was getting ready to go on a pseudo-date with a unicorn because he thought it was best to keep them happy so things would stay civil. His friends even encouraged it.

"Alright..." Cerb was ready to hear more of what Sniff had to say. "So what's their end game here? You think they’re gonna try to kill us or something?"

"What? No, I..." Perhaps Sniff hadn't put enough thought into this. It was irrelevant though, and he slapped his hands down into the bath water, frustrated at his own mental shortcomings. "Fuck, man. I dunno what's going on. That's the point. Nothing makes sense. I... eh... I need more time to sort this all out."

There was so much that had happened and still left unexplained that Sniff simply couldn't make any connections. "Whoever the Spear pegasus guy was tried to kill Kelly, but the Celestia Princess made it sound and look like that's the last thing she wanted. Plus Mac whooped his ass for it. Then your two lady friends and Mac seem to have eyes for us, but Starlight was a total cunt to Chris. Rainbow Dash was giving me shit, and I don't know if she was hitting on me or trying to warn me that if I get too close to a pony they could end up falling for me. And I don't know if she was fucking with me, legit warning me, or trying to see where I stood with everything."

"I think they don't know what to do with us," Cerb countered Sniff's rant with a more softly spoken tone. "We're all stuck here in their world, lost as fuck and getting hurt. And that's on top of all our other issues. Cartoons or not, I think they can plainly see we're all a bunch of barely functional drunks and walking train wrecks."

Sniff didn't have a retort. Those were all valid takes on their situation. They weren't enough to convince him that something must be going on, but he was also having a hard time not having a flock of woman to chase after. It was like forcing an alcoholic to go dry.

"I'm sorry, man," He sighed deeply and ran his wet hands through his dark hair trying to get a grip again. "I'm not as good at rolling with the punches like you guys all are. Maybe it is just me needing my itch scratched that's putting me on edge."

"We've been here four days. What's the longest you've gone without?"

"Four... maybe? Unless I'm too sick to function."

Cerb couldn't help but smile. It was all he could do not to laugh. "Had a guy in boot camp kinda like you. Ya know that?"

Sniff looked up, an inquisitive expression on his face.

"This dude was into everyone. Chicks, dudes, fatties, trannies, hookers... fucking anything human and willing. Two weeks in, you swear this jack ass was a meth-head... Fucker was paranoid about everything and everyone. Said our drill instructors were trying to seduce him when they got in his face. He kept going on about there was a group there that was sneaking off to have a gang bang after taps. You know what finally got him to shut the fuck up and stop flipping out?"

"Sock party?"

Cerb snorted into a laugh. "Jesus, no. We thought about it, though. Nah. We made him stand fire watch. Four hours, twice a week, from balls to four... in the head. By himself."

Sniff was still waiting for the solution to be explained.

"Dude... we gave him four hours to spank it. Let him take care of his own problem. And it worked."

"Really?" That wasn't what he was hoping to hear. "You're telling me to jerk it?"

Cerb shrugged again. "Or you could start PT'ing with me. Burn out your pent up aggression that way." - He pulled the plug to drain his tub - "If it was me, I'd just drink till I passed out and work out till I puke the next day like normal."

"Let it be known that I am always grateful for the insight of a Jar Head," Sniff scoffed as he leaned back and averted his eyes from Cerb stepping out of the tub. "What's your favorite flavor of Crayon? I'd like to repay you for sharing your sage wisdom."

"Favorite flavor? Fuck if I know. I always end up eating 'em too fast to taste 'em," He joked while drying off. "But also, I'm not saying everything you said doesn't make sense." - He started to slide up his jeans without any boxers. - "Having our heads messed with and getting sick or passing out. All without rhyme or reason. And at least some of the locals here know something we don't, and they're not telling us. Especially the royals."

That peaked Sniff's interest. "What they holdin back?"

Sliding on his boots, he started to answer. "The what, I dunno. Could be a lot of things: national secrets, something embarrassing, or something to keep us safe. Maybe keep them safe, even. Can't be much different than what practically every military in the world does. But... - He intentionally paused while he finished tying up the laces on his boots. - "I don't think they were lying about helping us while we're here, or about trying to get us home. They honestly seem to care. But... kids show. So why wouldn't they?"

Cerb stood up and draped his towel over the side of one of the empty tubs before gathering up his other dirty clothes. "There is something else going on with us, but it's all so random and inconsistent. Maybe it's like some kind of allergic reaction to all the magic and shit. Ya know?"

This new perspective left Sniff feeling even more confused about what to make of their situation. "Sooooo... should I not go see little miss jealous princess pony today to ask if she has any updates for us?"

"Nah. You're fine man. Just don't go out there lobbing accusations or make it obvious you know she knows something. You gotta probe her gently" - Cerb stuck out his hand and looked away trying not to laugh at his own slip of the tongue. "-for info. You know what I mean. You're good at this. Work your charm."

"I dunno, man," Sniff felt oddly conflicted about his friends' suggestion. He was good at getting close to virtually any woman he wanted to, but he was selective. He didn't go after just anyone, and he never led them on. Then again, if it helped him and his friends, that would be something worth the effort. "I'll feel it out, first."

Cerb started to make his way out of the tent. "Feel it out all you want. Just make sure it's consensual."

Too late to take it back, Sniff did walk right into that one. "Eat a dick!"

"Take care of your own, first!" Cerb shouted back, his voice already fading.

Everyone seemed to be finishing up with their pastries. It was by no means a full meal, but still, a pretty decent way to start the day.

"You're lucky your two ladies are a bunch of softies," Kelly greeted Cerb as he walked back in.

"I know. That Danish was delicious," Cerb joked.

Rainbow Dash didn't get the joke that Cerb was intentionally ignoring his clothes being taken away. "Uh... What about your pants? Aren't those supposed to be important, too?"

"Yeah, they are, Rainbow," Cerb admitted. "That's why Kelly thought it would be so funny to take 'em."

"You mean like a prank?" Rainbow Dash asked, wondering if human pranks would go that far, despite everything Becky had told her about their views on being exposed.

Kelly looked over to Rainbow Dash with a lazy smile. "Yeah, pretty much."

Becky chimed in to clear up the confusion, finally able to speak after having her tea. "If we didn't all know each other, it would have been really bad to do that. But we all know and trust each other enough to know that he would have gotten his clothes back eventually. And we wouldn't have made him run around in the nude."

The conversation was quickly derailed by Lumberman after an accidental observation. "You going commando, bro?"

Cerb looked down to his waistline. "Yeah. Only had a change of clothes for two days. I thought about trying to wash 'em myself but haven't really had the time. Also, Benny only has pods, so I haven't figured out how to make that work."

"We have cleaners in town I can take you to," Rainbow Dash offered.

"They have outstanding service. I use them rather often actually," Rarity added.

"What about clothes?" Kelly asked. "Or is everything pony size?"

This was Rarity's time to shine. "Well, unfortunately, yes. However, I am more than willing to stitch up whatever you may need. Although, I will need all of your help with examples of what you're looking for and your measurements, of course."

Lumberman started to speak up from the kitchen. "So, how about we get as much of our laundry done, and then we can leave you some of the extras to make copies of, or whatever it is you do."

"That sounds like a splendid idea," Rarity answered back.

A clap of the hands gathered everyone's attention to Cerb. "Well, sounds like we got a plan. Get to it, y'all."

It didn't take long for everyone's dirty clothes to be gathered up and stuffed in one of Benny's old sea bags. Something he never bothered to get rid of after leaving the Navy.

Seven people, each with at least one pair of clothes they were lucky enough to happen to have packed with them, quickly filled the bag. All that was left was to decide who was going where.

Lumberman told Chris that the Apples would like to have him over with him and Kelly, and Chris accepted. Mostly Chris just wanted out of the house and hoped to avoid Starlight.

Rainbow Dash had talked Kelly into starting a tour of Ponyville, but since walking was going to be an issue, Benny agreed to drive them out.

Sniff was only interested in getting home and opted to check in with Twilight to see if there was anything new to learn. He agreed to give Cerb and the two mares a ride as well.

They all agreed that by the end of the night they would meet up at Twilight's castle and head home from there.

As they all started to pile into their respective vehicles, Chris jogged over to Cerb and pulled him aside. Once they had some semblance of privacy, Chris gave him a warning. "Okay, so, I know we haven't brought it up yet, but I never really told you guys the obvious that all the ponies are vegetarians. So don't go freaking any of them out by asking if they have steak or meatballs when you go out to eat."

Cerb noded. "Yeah, kinda figured as much. Sucks we don't have a lot of canned meat and the freezer is fucked."

"Yeah, it sucks. We'll figure something out," Chris added. "See you tonight, though. And uh, I hope you don't mind if I stick close to your side if..."

Chris didn't speak out loud what he was concerned about, but Cerb was more than aware of what he was referring to, or really, who. "Yeah, no worries, bro. Don't get stuck up on her and what she said, though. We got you."

And with a tap on his shoulder from Cerb, the last two split up and loaded into their cars. Walking past the car with Rainbow Dash, they couldn't help but see how much she seemed to fidget and look on edge inside the car. That or she was trying to find a reason to climb up into Becky's lap. Fluttershy and Rarity didn't appear to have the same issues in the back seat of Sniff's car and had already settled in for the ride.

"So, what exactly is this contraption?" Rarity asked while she looked around the interior of the car.

The engine started, and Sniff looked over his shoulder, eyeing his path as he backed his car out. "This contraption is a 2015 Dodge Charger. Men want it, and the ladies love it."

Fluttershy rolled her hoof over the fabric she sat on. "Is it because the seats are so comfy? Because I already like it."

"Boom," Sniff fired back pointing his hand like a gun to her. "See. Ladies love it."

Rarity's eyes stared forward as she tried to figure out where exactly all the noises of the engine and exhaust were coming from. "It's a bit noisy, though."

Cerb looked back to the two mares with a big smile. "Hell yeah, it is. This thing is pure American muscle. Just like me."

The Charger backed out past what was left of the driveway and gently rocked to a halt.

"How fast can we make it to Ponyville from here?" Asked the suspiciously cautious voice from Sniff.

Fluttershy did her best to speak up, a bit nervous about how the vehicle was sounding, and how it felt as it moved on its own. "Well, on hoof it's about twenty minutes, unless if you wanted to run or fly."

"Oh, we'll be flying alright," Sniff said with a grin.

Cerb tapped Sniff's shoulder, trying to get his attention. "Just don't gun it right off the bat, and slow down before you get close to town."

Sniff gave him a questionable look, obviously wanting to have a little fun with his two back seat passengers as Lumberman and Cerb had with Big Mac.

The expression on Cerb's face was one that asked for some understanding. "Come on. They brought us our clothes back and breakfast."

"True," Sniff accepted the request as a means to return the favor. "Alright. Hold on back there ladies."

Very different from Big Mac's experience, this ride made a much faster acceleration up to 60 mph. Climbing over the hills coasting along its curves with grace, the mares were treated to a ride that was both thrilling, yet borderline frightening. Even with his control, however, Sniff felt the need to rev up the engine on the flat section getting closer to Ponyville.

"You both doing alright back there?" Sniff asked the ladies in the back seat.

Rarity's shaky voice strung out with nervous excitement. "Just fine, dear."

Not faring as well, Fluttershy's voice came out sounding shaky. "I don't think this is very safe."

Something warm grasped Fluttershy's leg, and she froze. Cerb had reached back to grab ahold of her for some reason.

He looked back over the seat with a smile. "This is perfectly safe. Trust me."

Trust wasn't the issue, and she was having a hard time finding the words to convey that her fear was crashing.

"Do you trust me?" Cerb asked, bluntly.

"I... yes... do. Yes, I do. I trust you," She managed to finally spit out after fumbling her words.

"Alright," Cerb acknowledge her trust and pulled back his hand after a few soft pats. "Then hold on tight and feel the kind of power this thing has. But remember, you'll be safe the whole time with me here. Kay?"

"Right," She answered back, though while still nervous, his kind gesture gave her some reassurance and much of the fear of crashing eased off her shoulders.

At the wheel, Sniff was happy to hear what he suspected to be an approval to go a bit harder. "What you thinking, boss?"

Cerb tightened his seat belt and grabbed what he referred to as the 'Oh Shit Bar' above his door. "Just a power slide and donuts."

The car slowed down, and Sniff tightened his grip on the steering wheel. "Stunt driver in training!"

"In training!" Rarity and Fluttershy both shouted in unison.

The engine revved up high, and everyone was pushed back in their seats. The sound of the grass and dirt being torn up beneath them could be heard splashing under the floor and the rush of the air around them whispered of the speed they were traveling.

Just as soon as they could feel the inertia of their acceleration wind down, they were jerked to their right as the car turned sharply and the engine revved higher again. An uneasy feeling of uncontrolled motion swept over them as the vehicle slid hard into the grass and spat rooster tails of dirt out behind them.

The mares in the back screamed as they thought they were in a long and drawn out crash. The men were screaming as well, but their screams were of some twisted and elated excitement.

"I'm not a baker, but I make the best donuts!" Sniff shouted as he slammed on the gas pedal again, making the car spin in circles.

Somewhere in the middle of the donuts and figure eights, the two screams in the back started to match those of the driver and passenger. They were even laughing. This crazy idea of controlled chaos and exercise of power, speed, and pointless stupidity was astonishingly fun.

One short stretch of a burnout in the dirt that ended with another power slide and a donut ended the little show. Just as they all were about to share their exchanges of fun and surprise, a horn honking from behind them stole the moment away. Becky was pulling up alongside them, and both cars lowered their windows as she drew near.

The first voice was Rainbow Dash, who had her head stuck out the window and was staring in amazement at the now idle Charger. "That! Was! Awesome!"

"What the hell are you doing?!" Becky shouted out as she parked next to Sniff.

"What?" Sniff asked innocently with a shrug. "We're just having some fun with the Diamonds and Butterfly Horses."

Rarity figured out how to work the window by accidentally putting her hoof down hard on the armrest, regardless, it gave her a chance to voice her thoughts on the experience. "Have you ever done this before Becky? You simply must give it a try. It's so... so... invigorating!"

Fluttershy had unbuckled herself and stepped over to pop her head out the window. "Oh my gosh. Rainbow, you should have been here with us. It's like flying while you're sitting down. It was scary at first, but we were safe the whole time. I don't think I've ever had so much fun going that fast before."

"You hear that Prism Horse?" Sniff hollered over to the other car. "Next time you should ride with the cool kids." He ended with revving the engine high again.

Benny spoke up from the passenger seat. "So were you guys just messing around and having fun, or were you pulling a Lumberman on them?"

Cerb chuckled. "Nah, did that with Big Mac, though. He was fine with it."

"You guys are dumb and mean," Becky called out.

"No way," Cerb protested. "Ask Kelly or Lumberman. He got us back good. He was totally cool with it."

"Whatever," She snapped back, though it was apparent she was trying not to smile.

"Don't be jealous just because your weak ass prissy Nissan can't keep up with my mean old SRT," Sniff jeered over to the other car while petting his steering wheel."

This little conflict just finished going nowhere, and Kelly was ready to continue on to town. "Just be safe, you idiots."

"Will do, mom," Cerb jokingly answered back. "I'll keep an eye on my little brother. Make sure he's a good boy."

Kelly pulled away first, flipping the two off as she drove away. All Benny could do was laugh while Rainbow Dash leaned into the front seat spouting off about how cool Sniff's car was. All the more fitting that his car quickly passed her sedan to beat them into town, spitting dirt and exhaust as it peeled away.

A pair of magenta eyes peered over the center console, transfixed on the speeding Charger. "Can we do that?"

Benny laughed at the request. "Not in this grocery grabber."

Only a few minutes later, the two cars had split off and made their way to their destinations. The laundry cleaners hadn't yet opened, so the small group ventured out into the slowly opening market so Rainbow Dash could start showing them the best places to shop and help them haggle. The other group arrived at Twilight's castle to the site of two guards backing up nervously from the four-wheeled monster they presumed to be growling at them. Perhaps the sight of Sniff and Cerb sitting in the front would have calmed them, but the glare was just enough to hide them as the car came to a stop.

The four slowly made their way out of the car, Cerb and Sniff taking in the size and grandeur of the castle for the first time and Fluttershy and Rarity coming down from the high of exhilaration that was their first car ride.

"Holy, shit. Princess is ball'n," Sniff commented on the structure. "Place looks like what Prince would see if he took LSD."

"Mr. Sniff, Mr. Cerberus," One of the guards called out. "What!?... What is that?"

The two rear doors closed and the mares put themselves in view of the guards and Fluttershy approached the front steps. "Oh, don't worry about that. It's perfectly safe."

That voice on the unicorn sounded a bit familiar, one that Cerb thought he remembered. "Helix Ray?"

The unicorn relaxed his spear. "Hey! Yeah! You remembered."

Cerb finally closed his car door and started up the steps. "I thought you guys all got sent back?"

Helix shrugged. "Yeah. Well, most of us were. The princess was worried about another pony getting scared or another incident happening while you all started coming into town. We're here to help make sure the civilians stay calm and keep the peace if there are any misunderstandings."

"Hey! Cerberus!" Spikes voice called out from the balcony above the steps, his arm waving frantically. "Good morning! Wait right there! I'll be down in a second!"

"Wow. You're making friends here fast, aren't ya?" Helix asked through a sly smile.

"Lots of friends, actually," Fluttershy chimed in from behind on the steps. "Oh, and Mr. Cerberus. I hope you don't mind, but I need to step away for a bit. I need some help from Twilight finding some books. And if any pony knows how to find what I'm looking for, she's the pony to ask."

Truth be told, Cerb had just assumed that she was going to be spending the whole day with him, but he couldn't think of a reason as to why she felt she had to excuse herself. "Uh, sure. I guess. You do what you gotta do."

The large front double doors and an over-excited purple dragon came running out. "Hey, Cerb! I'm glad you could make it out today. What did you drop in for? Anything I can help out with?"

Bad news coming in three, two, one. "Sorry, Spike," Rarity spoke up to burst his bubble. "Mr. Cerberus and I just came along for the ride with Mr. Sniff. Mr. Cerberus requires some new clothes, so he'll be joining me for the morning."

"Oh," Everyone could hear the disappointment in his voice. "Well, are you at least stopping back for lunch today? Pinkie Pie said she was going to make something for everyone coming out today."

Cerb looked down to Rarity who was looking up at him and shrugged. Neither knew how long this was going to take them, or if new orders were going to get in the way.

There was no need to be dismissive to the little guy, so Cerb decided to give him an honest, but still optimistic answer. "Hey, bud. I don't think we know how long this is gonna take, but I'm not ever one to turn down free food. Know what I mean?" - He knelt down and gave a gentle rub over his scaley head. - "So, no promises. But if not, then we'll figure something out for later. And in the meantime, you got this guy over here."

Sniff wasn't too thrilled at the prospect of babysitting, although, this was a dragon. Plus, maybe he could win him over and get some useful information. Or at least use him to annoy Twilight. That seemed like a good enough of a reason. "Yeah. Sure. What ya wanna know, kid? I'll be here for a while, probably."

Spike trained his eyes over to the other human. He wasn't as tall or as big as Cerb, but he still had this cool factor going on that gave him hope. "Hey, no sweat, big guy," - He made the double gunpoint with his talons. - "Sniff wanted to help me first anyway. I'm sure Twilight won't mind."

Sniff cupped the side of his mouth so only Cerb could see him mouthing the words 'I hope she does.'

The paths of the two groups were now set, and they parted ways with Fluttershy giving one last shout out as Rarity guided Cerb out to her boutique. "I'll catch up after I run some errands today!"

"See you soon," Rarity hollered back with a wave.

Fluttershy, Sniff, and Spike all made their way up to Twilight's study, The trip was short, but colorful, with Sniff taking in the magnificent sights of the castle and being explained the ins and outs of its creation and layout. It all ended with the opening to Twilight's study, which was more of a library the likes of which would make most schools envious.

"Good morning, I thought I heard some familiar voices," Twilight greeted the group. "Is it just you here today?"

She greeted Sniff with a happier tone than he had expected. "Yeah. Pretty much everyone else had a bunch of other shi-" he cleared his throat - "other stuff to take care of, so... just me."

A short yet proud little dragon stood just off to the side of Sniff and started to elbow the humans' leg. "Yep. Me and this guy are gonna hang out and talk about cool guy stuff when he's done here."

The princess's mood had a noticeable shift as she looked down at the young drake. "When he's done, Spike."

Spike knew instantly where he misspoke. "Oops, I mean, when I'm done here, today."

Twilight continued to ruin his day. "You still need to get caught up from yesterday. You had the whole day-"

"Do you know how we got here?" Sniff cut her off quickly, saving the dragon a verbal thrashing. "Anything we should know?"

The lone man stood tall, dark, and imposing in the center of the room. It was unclear if he was upset over something from before he arrived, if he did it to protect Spike, or if somehow he was onto them. Whatever it was, his callous tone was more frightening to Spike than anything any princess said in front of him.

Whatever was about to happen, Twilight wanted Spike out of the room for it. "Spike," Her voice was well collected, but her hesitation was there, enough to give Fluttershy caution. "-can you make us up something nice in the kitchen?"

Spike looked up to the tall figure he was just a moment ago so excited to be next to, then to his princess. He wasn't a stranger to danger, but this kind of tension was different.

"It's okay, little dude," Sniff's voice was kind and comforting as he spoke. "It's been like," - he looked at his watch for the date - "five days. She's gotta figured something out by now."

He looked at the smile his new human friend was shining down on him. All the fear and uneasiness washed away. "Oh, right! Twilight is the smartest pony I know. And I know a lot of ponies. I'm sure she's getting real close to it. But I'll be right back. I'll make you some of my famous strawberry prench toast waffles."

"French toast waffles? You are one crazy dragon Spike," Sniff's whole demeanor had switched so fast that neither of the two mares had caught up with him.

Spike glanced at Sniff with a confused look. "Prench, not French. What's a French?" The little dragon asked curiously. Completely oblivious to the culture parallels.

Sniff spared a glance back at the dragon. "French, as in like… wait. Do you guys call the French the Pre-" Sniff's thoughts were caught in his own track of confusion - "Nevermind! But yeah, that sounds awesome. I only had a muffin to eat today, so I'm still hungry."

Spike turned and headed for the door before stopping and looking back to Twilight. "Does that sound good, Twilight?"

She was still coming down from the fear of a potential fallout with the new human guest but managed to snap out of it just in time to give a passable response that wasn’t ridden with fear or guilt. "Yes. Of course, that sounds great."

"Alright," He cheerfully yelled back. "I hope you're hungry too, Fluttershy!"

With the blissfully ignorant dragon out of the room, Sniff clapped his hands and held them open to his sides as he approached the two with a welcoming smile. "So. Lay it on me princess. What ya got for me?"

"I..." Twilight was still trying to get a fix on what that whole interaction was. "Weren’t you mad at me just a second ago?"

Maybe he was, but he remembered what Cerb had told him and needed to back off. Let things unfold more naturally. "Nah. Just felt bad for the poor guy. You were kinda hard on him."

"Oh," That seemed like a reasonable reaction... for a human... perhaps.

Sniff went on to add more cover to his intentions. "I know you said you wanted Cerb to be the guy to hang out with him and teach him manly stuff, but that doesn't mean I can't lookout for the little guy. How old is he anyway?"

"Spike? He's still pretty young. He's only nineteen."

He couldn't have possibly heard that right. "Did you say nine, or nineteen?"

Fluttershy answered for the princess. "Dragons age much slower than ponies do. Especially in their early years. So while ponies like us are only six years older than him, he's only matured about as much as a pony would at age ten."

"Nineteen and six..." Sniff was focusing too much on this mental math. "So you're both only 25? Is that considered old or young?"

It was time for Twilight to take control of the conversation. "It's not really old or young. We're kinda in the middle. But since we're on the topic of ages, how old are you? There's still so much I don't know about you and your friends."

"Me? I'm only 28. I guess that's still kind of on the young side for us," He said scratching his head. "I mean, I'm a fully grown adult, but..." He trailed off not knowing where to go with this. He was way off the topic of what he came in for initially.

"Excuse me, Twilight," Fluttershy butted in. "I actually came here to borrow some of your books, if you don't mind. I need to look up some, uh, I guess you could say lesser known zoology habits and unusual physical reactions to seasonal changes and exposure to new stimuli for Mammalia."

Twilight was shocked at the request. It was both so specific, yet oddly vague. "Wow, Fluttershy. I don't think I've ever heard you speak with such a scientific vocabulary. But, um, sure. Take whatever you need. Just be sure to bring them back when you're done."

"Of course. And thank you," She thanked her friend and fluttered up to where she thought she last saw some of Twilight's biology books.

"No problem," She replied back before remembering the human standing in front of her. "Oh, right. Where were we?"

The game of twenty questions on him and his friends was going to have to wait. He wanted to see where things were with getting home. The pity sex he was going to get was going to be the stuff of legends when he returned home. "We got sidetracked, but I wanted to know if you figured anything out and if we're anywhere close to getting home."

"Oh... right," She didn't sound enthused with that.

Hearing that stirred up a mix of fear and depressing thoughts. "I'm taking that as you only got bad news?"

Now here was the test. Twilight had to walk a fine line of not outing herself and Trixie for the roles they played in their accidental kidnapping. She didn't want to mention her doppel and the world ending warning that she still didn't understand. She also had to be careful not to give up that every other pony knows much more than they're letting on. But she also had to give him something since she can't not know anything and still be a trusted source to come to for help.

"I don't know how to explain all of this just yet, and it might be better to tell everyone all at once."

That wasn't an offer he was willing to accept. "How about I be the judge of that."

"It might be better if at least Chris-"

"Twilight... please. Humor me," Sniff answered back kneeling down to eye level with her. His eyes softened, and his lips relaxed to reflect some level of trust and vulnerability. But this was an act. He was trying to play on her emotions like he had many times to draw women closer to him. It was a gamble to see if his years of wooing women could be used to fit these needs here with the ponies.

With a heavy sigh, Twilight closed a notebook she had been writing in. His plan had worked.

Giving in to his request, she hoped she could answer enough without the prep time she wanted. "I have come across some evidence to see where and how you've all been brought here. However, what I've found goes so far beyond what our studies and understandings of advanced magic and teleportation of this scale would require. Theoretically, it shouldn't be possible."

"And?..." Sniff pressed just gently enough to see if there was more she was willing to give up.

"And I was able to see part of the inner dimensional path you must have traveled to get here, but those strings that weave together the many realities were all badly damaged in the process." She thought about mentioning it was Discord that was helping her, but really didn't want to bring him up, given his history. "So those all need to be repaired before you'd be able to be sent back through them."

"Is that something you can do?"

"Me?" This was going to be tricky to answer without sounding suspicious or lying. "That would be something I have never done before, but I have a friend that should be able to do it for me. I think he should be returning any time soon."

That sounded like all good news if it could be corrected, but he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. "So... is that the bad news, or is the really bad news coming after that gets fixed?"

"Yeah, after that," She thought about it for a second and decided it best to downplay the possibilities of the last two issues. "So, virtually everything in our world is made up of various types of magic. Love, Friendship, Light, Dark, and Chaos are the major ones that I know of. However, from what I've seen so far, your world, or at least what bit of if followed you here, has something very different. Something called 'Order, and it doesn't seem to have any magical properties whatsoever. It's actually damaging to some forms of magic."

"Okay... and?" Sniff was starting to think that Chris probably should have been here because this was some hyper brony nerd science he wasn't able to follow.

"And that limits the effectiveness of the magic that would be used to perform the teleportation," She answered him honestly while leaving out that the only one who could travel there to verify that they be sent back to the right place wouldn't be able to survive. Plus the dimensional gap that theoretically couldn't even be traversed by the only one who could freely travel between dimensions.

"So we're stuck?"

"No!" Twilight quickly shouted. "I mean, at first it seems that way. But if that were true, none of you would have been able to be teleported here in the first place. So there must be some way, and I'm doing all the research I can to try and figure out how it must have been done. I don't think our traditional means of magic will work. But if I can figure out all the points that can't establish the connection needed to bridge such a gap, I can hopefully find new alternatives to get you home."

Sniff looked over the table Twilight had been writing on. It was covered in books and scrolls. Even next to the table there were more stacks and notepads with scribbles and crossed out writings.

It was looking more and more like the ponies were on the up and up. At least from Sniff's point of view. "So you've been here studying your ass off, haven't you?"

The shift in Sniff's voice to something more understanding and sympathetic caught her attention. Plus his odd human slang. "Studying my what off?" - She then remembered barely overhearing something Applejack had said the other day at the human house - "Ass means butt? Butt, as in a pony's rear end? Not as a conjunction to introduce a phrase or clause contrasting with an already established idea?"

"Sorry," Sniff apologized backing away. "I know I shouldn't swear here. It just slipped out. Sorry."

"Ass is a swear word?" This puzzled Twilight. "Why is another word for a butt a swear word? No, never mind. Different world. Different culture. Different rules. It's fine. I'm not offended, but you should probably stop swearing."

Four days of swearing, and this was their reaction to figuring out that they had been dropping expletives almost every other sentence half the time. "You know, I was getting really confused about none of you reacting to all our cursing."

"Ass... Butt... Ass... Ass butt," Twilight continued to roll those words against each other. "You know what? I like it."

"You like the word ass?" He asked all the more perplexed.

"Well, yes. I would normally like to use the more anatomically correct phrasing, unfortunately, most ponies don't care enough to learn those terms, and saying 'butt' or 'tushy' sounds like I'm talking to a foal. Ass sounds like a suitable replacement."

Sniff laid his palms over his face. "Jesus Christ, I'm slowly corrupting an entire population of kid show characters."

"I hope you're still hungry!" Spike called out as he pushed the door open with a meal cart.

Twilight suddenly got excited and started clapping her front hooves together. "Ooo. I'm going to try it out." - She turned herself to look up to Fluttershy who was holding two books against her chest while she hoovered, skimming over the rows of book titles. "Get your ass down here! Foods ready!" She shouted up in far too happy of a voice for cursing.

Fluttershy craned her neck to look at her rear end, then down to see Spike carting in the food. "Okay. Um. Just one second, please. I'll be right down."

"It's not a surprise, you can open your eyes," Spike informed Sniff.

Not yet finished wallowing in the reflection of his missteps and poorly chosen words, Sniff pulled his hands back to see, as described, french toast pressed into a waffle. Then, the scent finally hit him.

Seeing his new friend stunned at the site of the feast he prepared, Spike started to fix Sniff up a plate. "On special occasions, I like to have mine with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. I can make yours like that, or we also have whip cream if you would prefer that."

Might as well leave the corruption to run its course for now. Sniff was a sucker for good food. "You're the chef, dragon lad. You dress it up whatever way you think is best."

Spike smiled and stood tall with his chest puffed out. "Well, in that case, you'll want the deluxe. One and a half scoops ice cream, two scoops whip cream, seven strawberries, and one perfectly even tablespoon of syrup."

Sniff watched as the young dragon flawlessly built up the dish with perfect timing as he described each ingredient. If this wasn't the work of a master chef, it was certainly the work of a cartoon character.

Needless to say, Sniff was impressed. "That looks and smells amazing."

"If you think it looks good, then you should taste it," Spike offered, lifting the plate up to Sniff. "You won't be disappointed. I spent at least three years getting all the proper proportions juuuuuuuuust right."

He accepted the plate with high expectations. "I'll take your word for it."

With his fork in hand and his mouth already watering, Sniff gathered up his first bite, making sure to get a bit of everything with it. As soon as his second breakfast hit his tongue, he knew he found this worlds saving grace.

Twilight was watching the cute display between the two and waiting to see what he thought of Spike's dish. Her little dragon was all about living the sweet life and had a weakness for sweets because of it. So before the human even got his fork in hand, she knew he was going to like it. Yet, here he sat, saying nothing and barely even moving. He made no eye contact or gestures. Just had a thousand-yard stare at nothing and slowly chewed.

"Sooooo, aren't you going to say what you think of it?" She asked, hoping he'd break his kind of creepy slow-motion mastication.

"I don't want to swallow because it tastes so good," Sniff finally mumbled out.

"Yep, pretty good, huh?" The young dragon boasted as he polished his claws on his apron. "But feel free to eat up. I can always make more."

After a bit of hesitation and the gratification of swallowing, he put his plate down on the table and stared down the princess in front of him. "I'm willing to pay to have Spike come cook for me. Everyday."

"What!" All three shouted together at Sniff.

Despite their reactions, Sniff did not waiver. "I have two passions in life. The first doesn't apply to this world. But the second is good food. And this... this exceeded my expectations." - He looked on the mix of faces still stunned at his request - "I'm not saying he has to come live with me. Because I don't own the house and that would just be weird. But we can work out the logistics later. What'dya say and how much?"

A bright idea was brewing in Twilight's mind. "Unfortunately, there's no way Spike could do this every day for you. We're far too busy for that. However, I am willing to offer you a trade."

Sniff pulled the plate back into his lap and started to carve out another piece. "What you have in mind?"

A piece of parchment floated up in Twilight's aura with a quill that started writing as she spoke. "Twice a week you can come over in the morning for breakfast with Spike and me, but I get you for five hours to pick your brain about you, your friends, your people, and the world you come from. Then, Spike will be yours for the rest of the day to teach him how to be more man-like. How-"

"Manly."

"Manly, yes. My mistake. How does that sound?" She finished offering her proposition before turning over the paper to show a freshly written contract. "Thursdays, like today, are almost always free for us, and we can work out the second day on a case by case basis."

"Five hours?" Sniff made deals for a living and knew she was high balling him for that many hours. He could talk her down from that much. "Five hours is way too long, even if we include the time it takes to eat. And For all the things we could discuss, that's a lot to write and try to digest. You're going to need time to work out how all the things we discuss should be designated and cataloged if you plan on putting together some kind of dissertation."

"Muh, my dissertation? How did you?"

"Yer a neeeeerd, Twiggels." Sniff answered sounding like he expected everyone in the room to agree and laugh. All a clever ploy to put her off center. It was time to play a little dirty.

Twilight changed her stance to show her offense and resistance. "I am not a nerd. I am very well read."

Sniff leaned back in his chair, acting like there was no fault on his part and took another bite of his breakfast. "Just because you’re cute and funny doesn't mean you can't be enthusiastic or passionate about knowledge and contributing to the academic studies you love. Is that an inaccurate assessment on my part about you?"

"Well, no," There was a lot for Twilight to unpack from that. She didn't get the same kind of vibe from being called cute that she got from Chris's evaluation of her attractiveness, and she liked the idea of someone appreciating her sense of humor. Also, her love of knowledge and learning was akin to what he described. She couldn't really claim that he was wrong unless he was just buttering her up so he could weasel out of time she wanted to study him. Five hours was a high ball number; she'd be more than willing to do four. Three and a half minimal, if she was going to put together a dissertation in any timely fashion.

Time for him to offer an olive branch to keep her unfocused on her goals. "There's nothing wrong with being a nerd, Twigs. I'm a nerd."

Twilight scoffed. "Puh! Alright, if you put it like that, I am a nerd. And proud of it. But you, a nerd?" What do you study?"

His response was calm and collected. "Business administration, marketing, economics, political science, and sociology. Both analysis and theory." His voice and posture all were presented in a way to look and sound trusting and unprotected, like anything said against his statement would have to be a personal slight.

All three were shocked to hear such a variety of studies from one who, by all accounts, had only come off as some goofball that told jokes and was at times rude to any pony that crossed his path at the wrong time.

"Well, I do have an interest in other fields like psychology, special relativity, and quantum physics, but I never really had the time to get too deep into them."

Twilight stood up pressed her hooves down on the table, still a bit in shock. "You're going to drop all that on me and you still say five hours is too much time needed to learn as much as I can from you? I could make a whole day of discussion with you over those topics!"

"Well, yeah," Sniff meekly admitted, it was all a show, but still, the presentation was essential. "You're royalty. You have duties and responsibilities. Plus all the dangers you have to fight off from changelings and other super villains. As much as I would actually like to have another intellectual to talk to about these kinds of things, I don't want everyone thinking that I'm eating up all your time so that you can't figure out a way to get us back home."

A purple hoof raised in the direction of the human, but no action or counter argument followed. His well-formed arguments had her bound and cornered. She was a nerd; she even admitted to it. Of course, now that made her wanting to study him, and his culture, look selfish. There was so much knowledge to gain from what he, and his species, had acquired. But she couldn't give up too much of her time from her duties and research into what brought them here or how to send them back. Even that held many areas of study she desperately wanted to discover and experiment on.

"Twilight," Fluttershy spoke up from behind her plate. "You do already have your hooves full. Plus, Spike really should get out and be more social. And of course, Spike would be perfect for helping Mr. Sniff and his friends around Ponyville and learning how to integrate with us better."

"But... hold on. That's Rainbow's job." The purple princes retorted abruptly.

"Uh, about that," Sniff pulled back the conversation. "I actually already had a chat with her about that."

"You what?" Twilight felt hurt, if not insulted, for having their plans all changed. Or at least, that's how she was going to react if that's what happened.

Sniff did pull back a tad and came off sounding more defensive, but still apologetic. "I asked Rainbow to focus on sticking with Becky and taking care of her. She needs more help than any of us. Plus, those two really seemed to have hit it off. There's not many people outside of our little circle of friends that Becky gets along with or trust. She's an ideal fit for Becky, and I think everyone else would agree that as soon as her meds run out, Rainbow is the one we all would want to be there looking out for her. And I mean that more in regards to compatibility," - he looked over to Fluttershy mid-bite into another fork load of her second breakfast - "Not saying your not a good candidate either, Flutters. That tea drink you brought in is nothing short of a miracle."

"I'm just happy to help," She graciously acknowledged him while trying not to speak with a mouth full.

"So," Sniff turned back to the frazzled princess. "Normally, these kinds of things would be maybe an hour long. But, for you, I'll offer to meet you halfway and say two and a half hours."

"With breakfast?"

"A man's gotta eat."

Twilight lost this round but was somewhat relieved that Sniff at least was willing to donate as much time as he offered for this. "Twice a week, two and a half hours, starting with breakfast."

"Sounds like a deal, starting today." Sniff agreed, reaching out a hand across the table to shake her hoof on it.

After they briefly shook on the deal, Twilight crumpled up the original contract she wrote. "Let me just get this all in writing."

"Princess Twiggels, come on. Knock it off," Sniff protested. "I'll take you on your word. I trust ya."

Spike offered up another plate with a Deluxe Strawberry French Toast Waffle. "So, what are we going to do today?"

"I dunno, yet," Sniff answered, finishing off his first plate. "Let's play it by ear."

Twilight started to think of the first set of questions she was going to grill Sniff with when she noticed Fluttershy still standing next to the table and quietly flipping through one of her books. "Would you like a chair, Fluttershy?"

The yellow mare's ears twitched twice, and her tail flickered again before she finally processed that she had been asked a question. "What? A chair for what now?"

"You've been standing at the table since we started eating," Twilight answered, clearly puzzled why her friend would choose to stand and eat while everyone else sat. "Wouldn't you like to sit and eat with us like a normal pony?"

"Actually, I just needed these books before I went out to see Zecora, so I didn't think I would be here long enough to need to sit." Fluttershy was trying to hide the fact that her urges from last night were revisiting her. Lingering thoughts of Cerb from this morning had started to mix with wandering flights of fancy and spending more time with Cerb during his morning run. Greedily, she shoved as much of what was left of her dish in her mouth, filling her cheeks to the point they were bulging. A few quick hastily chomped chews, and she swallowed hard, taking it all down in a single gulp.

"I guess I should be going now. Thank you so much for sharing, Spike. It was so yummy. But you all have a lot to talk about and do today." She quickly tried to excuse herself while stuffing her saddlebag with the four books she thought might hold the answers she was still searching for with her predicament.

"You're more than welcome to stay and read while I interview Sniff," Twilight offered. "But you should know that Zecora isn't home right now."

Fluttershy turned back to Twilight, she wasn't aware of this.

Twilight continued. "Yeah, she needed some special ingredients that don't grow around here. So she'll be gone for a few days."

"Oh," Fluttershy tried not to panic or overreact. She had plenty of time to look into finding medicine to best help Becky, and with any luck, her own aliments would pass before Zecora returned. "Thank you for letting me know. That would have been a wasted trip, but I still need to step out for now. I have some laundry to take care of, and I might have to put in another load before I meet up with Rarity and Mr. Cerberus again."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Laundry?"

Well now, isn't it nice to see this tight-knit group branching out and making new friends? Well, mostly Sniff. I really needed to start fleshing him out and let you all know he's not just some simple-minded poon hound. He is a poon hound, but he's got a lot more going on up stares than what he likes to let others know. He's also probably the one who has been least effected and can think the most clearly.

WARA isn't a meme server or an image board sustitute. You can find that here on the Filty Degenerates Discord Server. No, WARA is a server dedicated to connecting lovers of the written word and art creators to share their works and passions while finding help and support from others.