Alone, not Lonely

by Sergmaster00

Chapters

• Chapter 1 - The mysterious pony.
• Chapter 2 - Breakfast
• The dress maker
• Chapter 4 - The farmer
• Chapter 5 - Broken Wings
• Chapter 6 - Cutie Marks and Conflicts
• Chapter 7 - The Last Night
• Chapter 8 - The End
• The secrets of Ash Cloud

Chapter 1 - The mysterious pony.

         Alone, not Lonely

     Chapter 1

It was a hot summer night in Ponyville, and Luna’s moon was perfectly visible in the sky. A dark, cloaked figure roamed the quiescent streets, making almost no sound at all, while most ponies were lying in their beds, not suspecting a visitor had arrived, and even though they were a friendly town, the silent and stealthy traveler was somewhat different from everypony else.

Twilight Sparkle was rushing to her library, not minding the loud noise she was making. She should be in bed, but had fallen asleep while reading in a grassy hill. The comfortable, moist grass had made her sluggish and, with the help of the soft musicality of her poems, the purple unicorn’s eyelids closed a couple of hours earlier.

As she trotted she saw a cloaked equine in a bench, and for a brief moment she wondered why the hay Zecora was sleeping in a bench. As she drew closed it came to her that it wasn’t Zecora, but a pony, not much older than herself. Twilight stopped and watched as the unknown stallion breathed heavily, wondering what should be done in such a situation.

In the past months she had learned much about friendship, but she was unaware of how to approach ponies who hadn’t been introduced to her. This was the main reason why she knew a lot about her friends, but very little about the other few residents of ponyville. However, she decided that this good deed would not depend on her familiarity with the individual in question. In fact, she decided, this would be a good opportunity to increase her very limited number of friends, not that she was dissatisfied with her current situation; far from it.

“Hello… is everything alright?”

The cloaked pony opened his eyes slowly and stretched his muscles as he rose. From an energetic hop, the stallion landed in front of Twilight - so close that the sudden invasion of her personal bubble made her feel extremely awkward. She could now see that he had a grey coat and dark blue eyes, which matched the cloudless night above them. The grey stallion stepped back, increasing their distance to a degree deemed appropriate.

Both said nothing for a couple of seconds, so much that Twilight felt obliged to speak and break the tension.

“Hi…. I’m Twilight Sparkle and you were sleeping, and since I haven’t seen you before I… suppose I wanted to ask you why, I mean, who are you? And why were you sleeping on that bench?” She added the last question clumsily. Not that the first part made much sense, the mare realized as a cheesy smile formed in her face.

He showed no emotion, but answered politely in spite of just being awoken by a random and, apparently, not very eloquent unicorn.

“Good evening, Miss Sparkle. Pleased to meet you. My name is Ash Cloud and I arrived a few hours ago. I fell asleep in this bench because… Well because I was sleepy and I couldn’t find a hotel or room for rent.” It was his turn to feel embarrassed, having been caught asleep in a public bench.

“If you want you can spend the night with me” She blushed now harder than ever, after realizing how her words could be interpreted. Twilight hurried to rephrase her previous statement, as she avoided the piercing blue eyes. This, while noticing a mocking smirk in him, not much of an improvement to the emotionless face he had displayed since the moment they had met.

“I mean, you can spend the night at my house, I have an extra bed and…” She stopped, simply because she couldn’t think of any more reasons and just added “You would be most welcome, I wouldn’t mind at all.”

Ash Cloud closed his eyes for a moment and exhaled deeply.”I will gladly accept your invitation, Miss Sparkle. I might add that few would pity a complete stranger and invite them into their homes, and for that I am most grateful. Lead the way, if you will.”

Twilight suddenly felt uneasy, just realizing she was welcoming a potentially dangerous pony into her house, but his formal speech helped her relax a little.

The library wasn’t far and after a couple of minutes of semi-awkward silence they entered the large room filled with books, some in respective shelves, others wide open in the a nearby table and even a few in the floor. Ash was mildly surprised to see an owl picking up the fallen books, while a purple baby dragon snored audibly. Ash removed his black cloak, revealing neatly tucked wings along with his cutie mark - a pair of square black rimmed glasses. By the time he had placed his cloak in the hanger near the door, a pair of glasses identical to his cutie mark crashed against the floor. Twilight just looked at Ash as the stallion picked up his glasses and put them on, making him look slightly more intelligent and a lot more serious.

“The room is upstairs, feel free to use the bed. I still have a couple of things to do before I go to bed.”She smiled, trying to make her guest feel welcome.

“While I appreciate your generosity, Miss Sparkle, I fear I am nocturnal, and feel more energetic during the night. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t since the stores are open only when I sleep. But since I’ve started traveling my sleep has become regrettably irregular. So I would rather not go to bed yet. Don’t mind me, I promise not to disturb your work.” The Pegasus felt he had explained his situation clearly and gazed at the books, finally choosing one and picking it up, reading the back cover.

Twilight was surprised and at the same time intrigued. This Pegasus was like nopony she had met before. Firstly, he had fallen asleep in a bench, when he could have chosen a far more comfortable cloud. Additionally, he wore a black cloak in a hot summer night. He spoke like a perfect gentlecolt, except when he had shown embarrassment. But what disturbed her most was his apparent lack of emotions, not speaking unless he was spoken to, impervious to the long deafening silences most ponies considered unbearable. She decided not to bother him anymore, and with a yawn realizes how sleepy she was, deciding to postpone her chores until morning.

“Actually I think I’m going to bed now. You can get something from the kitchen if you feel hungry. Good night”.

“Good night Miss Sparkle.” The way he spoke made her feel like he didn’t really care, it was just an automatic response. He was looking at the pages of a book he had just open, deeply focused in its content.

“Please, just call me Twilight. Being called Miss Sparkle feels kinda weird.” She admitted, hoping this would make her guest more at ease.

“Good night. Twilight.” As the pony said her name he looked at her, a small smile appearing in his face. “I promise not to disturb your sleep.”

The unicorn worried slightly that the pegasus would have less than noble intentions, but since she had no reason to not trust him, she fell in a deep slumber in a matter of minutes.

Chapter 2 - Breakfast

     Alone, not Lonely

Chapter 2

The Sun was still rising, but a certain number 1 assistant was already awake. Still, a few extra minutes in bed couldn’t hurt, right? When he finally decided to let go of his pillow, a he saw a gray pony was sleeping in the library, an open book before him. Spike was quite shocked to see somepony in the library, but knew that Twilight must have invited him. He hoped. Deciding against taking action himself, he slowly walked to the mare’s room.

“Twilight, Twilight!” He whispered, shaking the unicorn’s coat.

“What, Spike? Why are you whispering?” She didn’t open her eyes, enjoying what she knew to be her last moments in the cozy bed.

“There’s a stallion sleeping in the library. And he can’t hear me, so… why am I whispering?" As soon as Spike had finished his sentence, he smacked his own forehead in frustration.

Twilight sighted, wondering why she hadn’t predicted this would happen.

“His name is Ash Cloud, and since he didn’t have a place to stay I invited him over. Don’t wake him up yet, not until breakfast is ready.”

Spike lowered his head, knowing that he would have to cook almost twice as much as he was used to, but he was proud of the young mare. A few months ago she would have done almost anything in order to avoid social interaction and now, thanks to her friends, she had welcomed a complete stranger into her home. The old Twilight wouldn’t even notice if somepony needed her help, keeping a book glued to her snout pretty much at all times.

The dragon prepared the meal with ease, being used to the morning ritual. Now all he needed to do was wake up their guest and call his owner, no doubt busy brushing her mane and tail.  Spike poked him a few times, but to little avail. He tried calling the stallion’s name, which seemed to help. When he finally accomplished his task, the pegasus looked at him with a very confused expression. Then it finally hit him. He was in Twilight’s Sparkle library, having fallen asleep only a couple of hours before, judging by the position of the sun in a nearby window.

“Hi. I’m Spike, Twilight’s assistant. She told me to wake you up once the breakfast was ready. She should be coming down any minute now.”

Ash Cloud yawned loudly. He was used to sleeping a lot more than just a couple of hours a day, but knew he would have to change his sleep schedule to a more appropriate one. After thanking Spike he walked slowly to the kitchen, waiting for her host before starting the meal.

Twilight arrived not a minute later, levitating a scroll which she handed her assistant, giving him a look that was quickly understood. The two ponies greeted each other and started eating as Spike sent the scroll to Celestia.

Ash had never seen a dragon send a letter that way, and while knowing that it could be considered rude to question his generous host, but he knew most ponies used to talk during meals, dreading the silence he had learned to prize over the years.

“I guess that is a faster way to send mail than by regular mail, Miss, erm Twilight.” He had manager to correct his minor lapse in judgment, recalling the mare had requested being addressed as Twilight.

“Unfortunately it only works if I want to send a scroll to Princess Celestia. I don’t think I told you but I’m her student. In fact the reason I’m living here in Ponyville is because she sent me here to study friendship.”

While Ash would normally find it annoying being told so much about something he had barely asked, he couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Said laughter was met with surprise. Twilight had never seen the stallion laugh, the closest thing being the smirk he’d failed to hide when she had made a foal of herself.

“Allow me to elucidate. While I have never met the Princess, I would expect her to be far too busy to care about a socially awkward filly, that can’t even make friends on her own.” He knew he had gone too far, and was ready to apologize when the mare interrupted him.

“I’m not a filly! And yes, having friends was something I didn’t want or thought I needed, until I arrived on Ponyville, but I don’t regret how things have turned out. These past months have been the best in my life.” She smiled, acknowledging this for the first time.

“May I inquire what have you discovered about friendship so far? While I have an interest in social interactions, I never had the means or the will to experience them so far.”

The mare couldn’t believe what she had just heard. Such didn’t expect that somepony as civilized as Ash had trouble making friends. Not to mention he wasn’t hard on the eyes at all. She didn’t care about her friends looked like, but knew some did.

“Then what about a compromise? I’ll, erm, show you my research about friendship if you tell me more about yourself. I just realized I know absolutely nothing about you.” She didn’t want to show it, but the fact that he was a lonely bookworm like she used to be made her want to help him. After all her life had been so much better since she had met her friends, so she wanted him to feel that happiness too.

Ash didn’t know whether to accept or not. He was interested, but didn’t know if he wanted to share more about himself. He feared she had forgotten that he was travelling and had no intentions of staying for more than a couple of days, at most. But what did he have to lose?

“Fine, if you are so interested. I was born in Cloudsdale. I have an interest in all science-related subjects, but I also like philosophy and, as you probably know, the study of social interactions.”

Twilight facehoofed. That was not what she wanted to know at all.

“I meant, what do you like doing? Why are you traveling? How was your foalhood? Something more personal than your place of birth and favorite subjects.” She was mildly annoyed at the way he didn’t share anything about himself. Whether he was doing it on purpose or not.

“I apologize. I enjoy reading and gazing at the moon and stars. I decided it was time to leave my father’s house but haven’t found a place I wanted to stay in yet. My foalhood was…. Normal. Happy?”

She gave up. If she wanted to know more about the secretive stallion, she would have to befriend him first. Something that benefitted them both, since it allowed him to learn more about “social

interactions” firsthoof.

“For now. Come on, I’ll show you what I learned.”She said while heading for the front door. Noticing how Ash Cloud was following her, stopping once they arrived at the door.

“Where are we going?”

Twilight was still getting used to communicating with somepony who didn’t talk unless he needed to, noticing how he resembled Big Mac in this particular aspect.

“While studying friendship, I have discovered the only way to learn about it is actually making friends." She turned to the now visibly disturbed pony opening and closing his mouth, attempting to form the words that refused to leave his mouth.

“When I said I wanted to see the results of your research, I didn’t mean I wanted you to introduce me to your friends!”

“Since you came here, you might as well get to meet some of the locals. Besides, I have a friend that will love to meet you.”

Ash knew that it was too late to turn back, slightly comforted by the fact that Twilight used to be in a situation somewhat similar to his own, with the exception that he couldn’t see himself actually enjoying having friends. But perhaps he just hadn’t met the right ponies yet.

The pegasus refused to talk to Twilight for the short trip, but she knew better than to force him to talk. Knowing exactly what would happen in a few minutes she giggled, which didn’t make Ash any more comfortable with the whole situation. They arrived at a large building.

“Here we are. Carousel Boutique.”

   ------------------------

In Canterlot, Princess Celestia had just finished reading the scroll Twilight had sent her. She smiled to herself, knowing that whatever happened next, it was bound to teach her student some very important lessons on friendship. Perhaps even love, if she was lucky…

The dress maker

Alone, not Lonely

Chapter 3

The door opened, displaying the cozy shop owned by Rarity. The shelves were full of the most varied kinds of fabrics. While the exterior clearly displayed the store as anything but humble, Ash Cloud wasn’t really prepared for such magnitude in the quiet and peaceful Ponyville.

Twilight entered, making sure the stallion had followed her and that he wasn’t hiding behind her. Rarity had her back to the door, carefully sowing, while a white cat played with a button on the floor. Feeling a draft, she turned to face the pair, eyeing the grey pegasus from head to hoofs before addressing her close friend.

“Good morning Twilight. I see you brought a friend along. My name is Rarity, pleasured to meet you.”

Ash was pleased with the white unicorn. She had displayed the courtesy of introducing herself first and not asking for his. Her mane revealed that she, unlike Twilight, cared about her looks, but the store gave the impression that Rarity was a hard-working mare.

“I am Ash Cloud, the pleasure is all mine.” He bowed slightly, wanting to make a good impression. This was the first friend of Twilight he had met and he hoped behaving in a socially acceptable way would let him off the hook earlier. After all, if Twilight was in Ponyville to make friends, she probably had lots of them, and Ash simply couldn’t be bothered to make acquaintances he would hopefully never meet again.

“What brings you to my humble business, Mr. Cloud?” Rarity said, not hiding the fact that she was delighted to meet such a gentlecolt. However, she had no idea all he wanted to do was leave and never return.

“Ash is new in Ponyville. He has been traveling, and since he didn’t have a place to stay I invited him to stay at the library.”Twilight interrupted, not wanting to feel excluded from the conversation.

“We came here because the only clothing he has with him is an old cloak and I was sure this was something you would like to correct.” Celestia’s pupil knew this would prolong their visit. It took some time to get used to Rarity but it seemed Ash and she would get along nicely. But everything would not run as smoothly as Twilight had hoped.

“While I appreciate your concern, I assure you a travelling pegasus needs nothing more than the last thing he has from his deceased mother.” Ash stressed every word on the end of his sentence, making sure they were understood perfectly. He knew that it was too late to change what had been said, but one could only make the best of the situation. At least now Twilight would think twice before bombarding him with questions.

“And I don’t carry a suitcase, so I wouldn’t be able to carry them.” He stated, returning to his neutral and emotionally distant tone, as if he hadn’t lost control mere moments before.

Twilight felt guilt rushing through her body. She knew he had left his father’s house, but he had never mentioned his mother. Now she was aware that the stallion was capable of expressing feelings, something she had questioned due to his calm demeanor.

Rarity was unprepared for the sudden rage that had been visible for a moment in Ash’s eyes. She didn’t know if Twilight had seen it or even whether it had been her imagination but for a fraction of a second she could have sworn seeing the blue maned pony’s eyes change to a hateful glare.

“Well, if a vest is out of the question, perhaps there is something I could do for you, Ash.” Rarity used the stallion’s first name for the first time, hoping that would defuse the awkward situation for which she felt partially responsible for.

Ash Cloud looked at the fashionista, saying nothing for a moment, considering his choices carefully; aware that his next sentence would have a deep effect on the pony he didn’t wish to offend. After all, just because he hadn’t wanted to meet her did not mean he wanted to hurt her feelings. Over the years Cloud had learned that a mare’s feelings were something dangerous and should be handled with care.

“I apologize for my rude words, Miss Rarity. I must also reveal the true reason of our intrusion. Twilight mentioned her studies on friendship and after I showed interest she offered me the opportunity to meet one of her closest friends. Now, if I may be so bold, I feel that it is I who should do something for you. Anything you require assistance with I’ll gladly help.”

He no longer felt the desire to disappear. Bonding with Rarity had turned out to be fairly easily due to their similar nature, even if Rarity could be a bit more eccentric, especially when put under pressure. Perhaps if all of Twilight’s friends were like Rarity, he wouldn’t mind staying for a little while.

Twilight couldn’t help but smile. She knew that it would have been the perfect occasion for Ash to feint offense and flee, never to be seen again. Now he had even offered to stick around, even if only because of his silly outburst.

     ----------------------------------

Rarity had seized the chance to use Ash to finish a few vests for a client from Canterlot with roughly the same size. They had spent time chatting casually about the white mare’s work but no more questions were addressed to the stallion, who was now trying a green vest with blue stripes.

“I honestly think it’s time for us to stop discussing my career, even if it is most glamorous. Since Twilight is introducing you to our group of friends I feel I should warn you that not all of them are like us. I fear they might take you as snobbish and unapproachable, should you insist on talking like the gentlecolt you are.” Rarity was genuinely worried about Ash meeting Applejack, who while friendly, was impatient most of the time. Not to mention Rainbow Dash, who would certainly challenge Ponyville’s most recent visitor to a race as soon as she laid her eyes on his wings.

I’m sure there is nothing to worry about Rarity. They’re all very nice, all 4 of them. Even if one of them will probably drive you crazy.” Twilight said, tired of waiting for the rigorous unicorn to dismiss her volunteer worker.

“I am quite surprised, Twilight. I was sure somepony who was studying friendship you would have a lot of friends.”

“Let’s just say that I prefer a cozy group of close friends rather than a lot of ponies I hardly spend any time with. But I bet you can’t say the same for yourself. You must have had lots of friends while growing up, in whatever fancy school you were taught in.”

Ash didn’t quite know how to respond. She had assumed so much about him, it was ridiculous. But he knew perfectly why she had said what she did. In her attempt to squeeze information out of him, she had made something up, expecting to be corrected. How could she help him make friends if she knew nothing about him? But he indulged her.

“I did not have friends while I was a colt. Not that there was something wrong with me. I was homeschooled, so social interactions were restricted to say the least. You must have thought I attended a particular school because I am a gentlecolt. Know this, Twilight Sparkle, gentlecolts are born, not made. And it’s not something that can be passed from father to child. A gentlecolt is a well-mannered and considerate pony with high standards of proper behavior. I’ve known gentlecolts whose entire families were nothing short of simpleminded brutes.” This time, while his words had been harsh, he had managed to keep his cool.

Twilight had no idea what to say, so she said nothing. In the meantime Rarity, who would soon be over with her preparations, managed to talk to her unicorn friend in private while the grey pony undressed.

“Twi, I know you have his best interest at heart, but Ash will hardly be impressed with the likes of Applejack or Pinkie Pie. Perhaps it would be for the best if you just let him move on.”

“I can’t. He’s so much like me before I knew all of you. I want him to know what’s like to have friends.”

“I’ve seen how you look at him. If you let yourself become too attached to this stallion and he doesn’t stay, you’ll only be hurting yourself.” With that last piece of advice, Rarity left to check on Ash Cloud, who was ready to leave.

“It has been a pleasure meeting you, Miss Rarity.” The stallion noticed how she didn’t mind at all being called Miss.

“The pleasure was all mine. Thank you for your help. I sincerely hope to see you again in the near future.”

With these last farewells the guests left the tall building, where Ash saw a pair of cyan eyes extremely close to his face.

“A new pony! This calls for a PARTY!” And just like that the blue eyes vanished in a blur of pink, now far away heading towards Sugarcube Corner.

Chapter 4 - The farmer

Alone, not Lonely

Chapter 4

“What the hay was THAT?” The stallion was completely speechless at the display of speed and utter randomness to say anything more.

“That was Pinkie Pie, she is one of my close friends that I planned on introducing you to. She is probably planning you a welcome party to ponyville. It’ll be fun, trust me.” The mare giggled softly. She had hoped avoiding this encounter, but everything went better than expected. She was not sure whether Ash would decide to stay in Ponyville, but just in case he didn’t at least he would have a chance to attend one of Pinkie’s parties.

“I…I’m…Wait. You were going to introduce me to that crazy mare? Are you out of your mind?” Few were the times Ash had ever been so shocked that it would drive him to stutter like a foal, but something started moving inside his brain. Twilight had mentioned 4 more friends, so Rarity, Pinkie Pie and 3 more. Moments ago nothing would have pleased him more than hear Twilight say he was free to go. Although after meeting Pinkie he wasn’t so sure anymore. Sure, it was a small group, so meeting them couldn’t be too troublesome. Still, what drove his curiosity was how much the three friends seemed so different and incompatible.

“Yes, and I’m still going to. However we’ll have to leave that for last now, as I’m sure there will be a party in your honor this night. She might seem weird, but nobody parties like Pinkie Pie. The next pony I want you to meet is Applejack. She’s no Rarity, but I think you’ll get along nicely.”I hope. Twilight could have introduced Ash to Fluttershy first, since she had resembled the fashionista the most, but since he had already seen Pinkie Pie… Besides, now she wanted to know how he would react to Applejack.

When they arrived at Sweet Apple Acres Applejack was surprisingly not working, taking a short break, chatting casually with her younger sister. As soon as they spotted their guests the apple sisters walked towards the couple.

“Hi Applejack. This is Ash Cloud, a friend of mine.”

Ash was surprised to see Twilight address him as a friend, but it seemed the word was used so commonly it hardly mattered.

“A pleasure meeting ya. I’m Applejack, and this is my young sis, Apple Bloom.” She said, while shaking the Stallion’s hooves with a strength he couldn’t help but admire.

Taking a moment to gaze at the orchard, Ash knew that while probably very distinct from Rarity, Applejack too was a hard-working mare, something that he could respect.

“The pleasure is mine, Miss Applejack.” He knew that the farmer wouldn’t approve of being addressed as such, but manners were something that had always given him the upper hand when talking to mares.

“Just Applejack is fine. We at Sweet Apple Acres like to keep things informal. You’ll never taste better apples, though. Care for some?” She now had an apple in her hoof, handing it to Ash.

Tasting it, Ash was more worried about facing this new challenge. But as he swallowed it, a silly yet potent idea came to mind. Perhaps he could drop his shields and just have fun without pondering the results of his actions, being honest and carefree, for once. It was something he had never tried, and it was sure to make him get along with Applejack. Plus it would make Twilight happy.

      ------------------------------------------------------

Apple Bloom saw her opportunity and silently retreated. She had been waiting for something like this to happen, so that she could meet the other cutie mark crusaders. She knew there would be consequences for not completing her morning chores, but she was glad to face them later rather than sooner.

  --------------------------------------------------------

Twilight only now realized she hadn’t formulated a plan. She had no idea of what could be made in order to stay a bit longer, before Applejack had to start working again. She saw her chance to speak, dreading the idea of awkward silence. After all, she wanted Ash to meet Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash before Pinkie’s party.

“Actually Applejack, Ash is currently travelling, and he could use some extra bits. Perhaps he could help a bit at the farm. Besides, I just remembered I have something I have to do right now. I’ll pick you up in an hour.” With that she teleported, leaving the two ponies alone. It wasn’t the best plan in the world. She had just left Ash completely alone with Applejack. The only thing the unicorn could do now was stay at the library. She was sure Ash Cloud wouldn’t leave Ponyville without his beloved cloak.

The stallion’s jaw dropped. He couldn’t believe the nerve, the audacity of abandoning him. Not to mention if he wanted to get to know one of Twilight’s close friends a bit more he would have to work for it, a bit too literally for his taste. Nonetheless, it was true that he could use some extra bits. He should have taken more from his father’s house before leaving. At this point Applejack was looking around, as if she had lost something.

“Well, since Apple Bloom’s missing, I guess I do have some chores for you. Nothing fancy though.” She didn’t usually employ ponies, especially pegasus, since their build tended to be less strong and robust compared to earth ponies. At least unicorns could pick up apples easily, using magic.

“Thanks a bunch, I won’t let you down. Just tell me what I have to do.” The pegasus tried his best to come across as informal, allowing Applejack to be more at ease.

     ----------------------------------------------

For almost an hour the ponies worked their hardest, but for someone who had never worked in a farm Cloud wasn’t doing such a bad job. He was motivated, as he discovered doing something as foreign as doing manual labor was actually fulfilling. At first he had dismissed Applejack as a simpleminded farmer, but now he saw it wasn’t so. They hardly spoke, but the skill she displayed while doing her chores had some kind of poetry in itself. Her abilities with the lasso, the powerful blows that accurately made the apples fall to the wooden baskets, was something that could never be substituted by the knowledge of mathematical principles. He had searched for meaning and truth in books, stars and the complexity of life itself, but it had never occurred to him that answers could be attained in a struggle for survival. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that just a bad crop could leave the entire Apple family starving for an entire year. He felt bad for judging the young farmer mare, and wanted to make it up to her, even though she had no knowledge of his thoughts.

As soon as he finished his chores, he approached Applejack, who was bucking a tree. He wondered how to start a conversation. Wanting to know more about the mare, perhaps he could find what she had that he lacked. He had always lacked something important, but knew not what. Friends, love, purpose. Most ponies considered these things important, but he had never experienced them. Unfortunately they are not things one can find in books. Even love, something that his father had deprived him of. His mother died when he was very young, so he had no recollections of her. But something must have been wrong with her, in order to have married his father. He shook these thoughts from his head. Reliving the past time after time had never done him any good and certainly wouldn’t now.

“So, is Apple Bloom your sister?” He was almost sure of the answer, but making small talk was something he had never attempted before, but avoided many times.

“Yeah, she’s a handful, that one. Sometimes Ah kinda wish she were a colt, just so Big Macintosh would be the one to have to take care of her. Big Macintosh is mah big brother. He’s not much fun, but works well I suppose.”

“Consider yourself lucky. I never had any siblings, so my colthood was kind of lonely.” He laughed lightly, for the first time since he arrived in Ponyville. He had shared something about himself to a pony he hardly knew, and had done so willingly. Twilight would be proud. Perhaps he could change, and be happy in a place where he would be accepted by everypony. Such a paradise was something he never had hoped to find.

“Well, shoot. That’s mighty unlucky. Don’t worry, I’ll lend you mah sis whenever ya like.” Applejack joked, without stopping working. “I can see Twilight, must be here to pick you up. Here’s 10 bits for your work. And since you worked so hard, I’ll treat you and Twi to lunch.”

Twilight could hardly believe her eyes. She had just seen Ash laugh. It was even more shocking than when she had made him lose his cool. Perhaps coming to Applejack so soon hadn’t been such a bad idea after all.  

-------------------------------------------------------

Lunch at Sweet Apple Acres was delicious as always, Ash going out of his way to compliment every dish he tasted. Twilight had no idea why the sudden change in behavior, but somehow Applejack had managed a feat of magic even the most powerful magician in Ponyville couldn’t have ever hoped to achieve. Alas, the time for food and laugher must always come to an end. Soon Applejack would have to get back to work, and even though the farmer had tried to convince Ash to work some more, Twilight insisted they must leave. After all, they still had a couple of friends to visit. But before that a certain grey pegasus needed a bath.

Chapter 5 - Broken Wings

Alone, not Lonely

Chapter 5

After being alone for so long I know no longer what to do. I have never required friends before. Not that life under my father’s roof would have enabled that. I have learned so much. In a sense I can see further than anypony else. The past, the present, and to an extent, the future itself. Perhaps I give myself much undeserved credit. The Royal family has access to information that I will never possess. Princess Celestia itself is older than any original copy of any book in existence. She made sure the ancient tomes information was preserved for posterity. That said, it is obvious that had she wanted to, she could have erased any kind of polemical history. A thousand years ago she banished her only sister to the moon. I can’t believe somepony in a sane state of mind would do that. And yet, in our peaceful times, she is the benevolent and caring mother of Equestria. She must have gone a long way. Perhaps I can change too. But do I want to?

Twilight made sure I understood that her life is much better now that she has friends. Is that alone enough for me to want to have some of my own? When I left Carousel Boutique I was planning on leaving, never to return. But seeing Applejack has made me see that somehow I was not completely right. I always held myself higher than most, merely because of knowledge. I am aware that I closed my eyes. I just wanted to avoid any conflict with Applejack, and if I could make Twilight happy in the process, better yet. Have I seen just what I wanted to see? Sure, it made me happier than I have ever been for months now, but when have I become such a hedonist fool? To fool myself in this way is to meddle with the very purpose of my existence. Must I return to my colthood, trying to figure out the meaning of life? If there were such an easy answer life would be simpler. If I were to follow my biological goal I would be reduced to a breeding horse, and that is a future I must certainly do not wish for myself. I am in the void right now. I don’t know if anypony else feel like this, but I have now the same feeling I get when reading a book I have not yet finished, and am unaware of what I know, lost between past and future, two very certain extremes, that are joined in a very uncertain present. After meeting all of Twilight’s friends I am sure I will have the answer. Then I will act.

His mind now in order, Ash departed from the hot water in the tub. The hot steam showed that he had been there for a considerable amount of time. While Twilight had insisted he took a bath after working at Sweet Apple Acres, he couldn’t help but assume it had little to do with his sweaty body and more to do with his emotional and muscular weariness.

As he left the bathroom, now completely dry, he noticed Twilight reading a book, no doubt waiting for him to finish.

“Are you feeling better now?”She was smiling, obviously pleased with something.

“I must admit I have never felt this good in a while. So, who are we going to see next?”Ash inquired.

“Fluttershy. She’s really shy, but I’m sure you’ll get along just fine. She likes to take care of small creatures. She’s really nice and caring.” Twilight was in her own way rewarding Ash, giving him some clues about the personality of Fluttershy. Before that she had always kept him in the dark, alone to face her friends. In a quite literal fashion when he had met Applejack.

“Are you trying to set me up with her or something? Anyway, why are your friends all female? I didn’t take you for, er… you know.” Ash was now blushing. He kept quiet, waiting for the mare to fill the silence, although his words made her blush too. She was clearly stunned.

“No, I am not a fillyfooler. Not that I have anything against it or anything, you know. But I guess I never really thought much about that. They were just the friends I made. In case you haven’t noticed there are a lot more mares than stallions in Ponyville, for some odd reason.” She smiled, only now noticing something that would hopefully put the grey stallion in his place. “Although I admit Applejack must have worked some kind of miracle on you. I didn’t consider you capable of using such an informal expression as set me up. And no, I don’t think Fluttershy would find you particularly enticing. Perhaps if you were a furry animal this would be your lucky day.”

And so they strolled to Fluttershy’s, who was already waiting for them. Ash wasn’t sure how or when Twilight had warned her of their visit, but considering the time he had spent working for Applejack it couldn’t have been very difficult. This made Fluttershy the first pony actually expecting Ash, which made him a bit nervous. He didn’t know what she had been told about him. Twilight wouldn’t dare bad-mouth him to her friend, not that she was the type to anyway. And even if Fluttershy had heard something from Rarity or Applejack, he was sure none would have reasons to criticize his behavior.

“Hello Twilight Sparkle. Hi Ash Cloud. Nice meeting you.” Ash noticed how her pink mane hid part of her face. She sure did seem shy. Feeling the need to put the yellow mare at ease her put on his best, most convincing smile and returned the greeting.

“Hi Fluttershy. It’s very nice meeting you at last. I have heard many good things about you, you know.”

“Oh, I’ve heard you’re really nice too.”She averted her gaze to Twilight, but didn’t say a word.

The unicorn, who until now had been a mere observer, decided to intervene as poor Fluttershy seemed especially shy around stallions.

“So, have you planed anything for us? If you haven’t don’t worry. You’re probably really busy taking care of critter and I promise we won’t take much of your time.” Twilight hadn’t made the same mistake of coming unprepared. She had told their guest that Ash merely wanted to make a few friends and that she could prepare something to make him more relaxed.

“Well, I was going to feed the duckies in a lake nearby, so perhaps you want to join? Some people do it for fun too. If that’s okay with you, of course.” It was faint, but Ash managed to spot it. A sparkle in her eyes for a mere moment, just as she mentioned feeding ducks. He wasn’t too fond of animals, especially loud ones like dogs, but he didn’t consider himself a cat pony either. They were too arrogant, like they didn’t know who was the pet and who was the owner.

Both guests welcomed the idea. In fact, Twilight was rather pleased with it, knowing that it was the perfect opportunity to truly convince Ash that friends were worth having.

The blue maned pegasus was surprised at the reception they were given by the considerable large group of ducks, rounding Fluttershy while quacking impatiently. Fortunately they grew quieter once the trio began feeding them with bread. One of them, however, was not being particularly nice.

It was a bigger than average, pushing and bullying the smaller ones in order to get most of the food. Ash noticed him before Twilight, who was busy levitating crumbs so that the ducks had to hop in order get their food. Fluttershy was also busy, and since the ducks were used to her she had more surrounding her. The grey pegasus decided it was time to teach the bully a lesson and deprived him of food whenever possible. This didn’t go as well as he had hoped, since said duck attacked him violently, biting relentlessly.

This angered Ash more than it should, and for in a moment his mind was set. With a fast and strong movement he stomped on the duck, snapping his left wing. A sadistic grin on his snout, he was actually pleased with himself.

“NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU BRUTE?” Fluttershy was now centimeters from him, glaring in a way the stallion thought impossible for such a tame pony. He was now absolutely terrified. A quick glance showed Twilight in pure panic. Any attempts to speak resulted only in repeated stammering.  After seconds that seemed like centuries, Fluttershy ceased her stare. She then picked up the wounded duck and carried it home, leaving Twilight and Ash alone with the ducks, who took Fluttershy’s departure as a sign that the meal was over, leaving for the water soon after.

“What the buck were you thinking?” The enraged unicorn said once she gained full control of her shaking hooves.

“That duck was stealing the food from the smaller ones. And he attacked me! I’m not the one you should blame.” Independently of how much Ash tried to explain his action his heart had sank upon seeing Fluttershy leave, unable to lift his own spirit.

“It doesn’t matter what it did! It’s a duck, so he can’t think logically and he used his instincts. You can’t blame an irrational animal for their actions.” Ash knew perfectly the mare was right, but what disturbed him most was the wave of pleasure he had felt when that wing broke.

“I’m going to apologize, if I explain maybe she…”

“You will do no such thing!” The unicorn interrupted him, knowing that Fluttershy would take time to forgive him, even if she wasn’t one to foster bitterness towards anypony.  

Guilt spoke louder than Twilight and in an instant Ash was high in the air, speeding in the cottage’s direction. He didn’t think, for once, and upon landing he didn’t know whether to knock on the door or not. He simply tapped it, opening it slightly. From his position he could see Fluttershy tending to the bird’s wound. The fast and swift movement clearly indicated that she had done this many times before.

Ash waited for her to finish before coughing, indicating his presence. The pegasus mare turned quickly, visibly startled. Ash decided it would better for him to speak first.

“I’m very sorry. I can explain. He was bullying the other ducks and he attacked me and…” He was unsure about what to say next, but Fluttershy didn’t give him time to think.

“I want you to know I’m very disappointed in you Ash. The way Twilight Spoke about you I never thought you could do something like that. I know Duckglas can be a handful, but he just needs to be shown a little kindness. But if you really are sorry I won’t hold a grudge against you."

It was highly inappropriate, especially considering he didn’t know the mare very well and the fact that minutes ago she was yelling at him, but he couldn’t help himself. In a flash he had closed the gap between them and hugged her tightly. She didn’t offer any resistance so he didn’t let go, merely whispering a soft “Thank you.” into her ear.

None of them realized Twilight had arrived and upon seeing the couple hug, her jaw dropped. Confused and uncomfortable, she didn’t speak or move. When the two pegasi let each other go, they noticed Twilight and soon there were three ponies in a mildly awkward situation.  

Chapter 6 - Cutie Marks and Conflicts

Alone, not Lonely

Chapter 6

“You got really lucky back there, I hope you realize that. I’ve seen Fluttershy stare down an adult dragon before and he didn’t even hurt anypony…Well, badly, at least.”

“Since I am a rather charming stallion, perhaps it was my dashing good looks that stopped her from hurting me.” Ash joked, wondering since when had he become this cocky.

“Yeah, sure. Anyway, there’s just one more pony I want you to meet before your party tonight. Considering her personality, it’s really fortunate you’re in such a good mood. But don’t expect your erm… dashing good looks to have much of an effect on her.”

“Why wouldn’t they…. Ohhhh, I see. No problem, I have nothing against mares like that.”

“Again, why is it you just go around assuming that sort of thing? What I meant was she is more the athletic type. So unless you can beat her in a race, I doubt she will show any interest.” Twilight didn’t dislike the new Ash. In fact she was proud of him, but she worried that he would do anything that could get himself hurt. Again.

Before Ash had any chance to retort, he was hit by something moving relatively fast, knocking him down. When he recovered from the impact, he saw three little fillies on the ground and a blue scooter attached to a wooden box. He recognized the yellow filly as Apple Bloom, Applejack’s sister.

“Ouch. I told you we were going too fast Scootaloo.” ´Moaned a white unicorn, massaging her head with a hoof.

“Fillies, just what are you up to this time?” Inquired Twilight, helping the stallion next to her get on his hooves.

“We were going to try and get our parasprite catchers cutie marks.” Scootaloo said with a mischievous grin in her face.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders Parasprite Catchers. YAY!” The three fillies shouted in unison.

“Wait just a second there. I don’t really follow. What is this nonsense talk about cutie marks?” The grey stallion was visibly confused, not knowing what was happening.

“These three fillies are Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and you already know Apple Bloom. Actually Sweetie Belle is Rarity’s younger sister. They created this club where they go around trying all sort of crazy activities to help them find their cutie marks.” Explained the older mare. “But there is no way I am going to let you into the Everfree Forest, much less to capture a parasprite. Don’t you remember what happened the last time?”

“See? I told you it was a bad idea.”

“Who’s a chicken now, Apple Bloom? Besides, if capturing Parasprites is our special talent, we’ll never find it!” The orange filly argued.

“I know. Let’s ask Twilight’s coltfriend how he got his cutie mark.” Suggested Sweetie Belle, causing the couple of older ponies to blush.

“First of all Sweetie Belle, Ash and I are not a couple. And we are in a bit of a hurry. Besides, I doubt he wants to tell you the tale of how he got….” The purple mare was trying her best to come up with excuses in order to get away from the three little fillies and their awkward assumptions, which she feared would lead to very awkward questions.  

“Nonsense, Twilight. I would love to share my story with these lovely curious ponies. I am sure they could learn a lot from it.” The stallion interrupted, stepping forward to better speak to his small audience.

“I got my cutie mark when I around your age. My dad had grounded me because of something I did. When I was allowed to leave he noticed my cutie mark. And that’s how I got it.” He affirmed in a rather unenthusiastic manner, making sure the three youngsters could see his glasses-shaped cutie mark.

“That’s it? So….. Your special talent is being locked in your room? Or being grounded?” Apple Bloom questioned, inclining her head slightly to her left.

“That is the important part. I didn’t do anything different when I was in my room, but my cutie mark is here anyway. Even I don’t know what it means, but I don’t care. Getting a cutie mark won’t make you better ponies; it doesn’t change who you are or what you do in life. It’s just something silly, stuck to your flank forever.” This time he spoke like a wise stallion, a teacher of sorts.

Scootaloo facehoofed, and both Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom seemed disappointed.

“Come on, girls, this won’t help us get our cutie marks.” As always, the young pegasus spoke first, picking up her scooter and leading the trio in the direction of their not-so-secret club house.

Twilight was quite surprised to see that their disregard for his advice troubled Ash, even if he was trying his best not to show his emotion.

“Don’t worry. They’ll understand someday that there are some things more important than getting their cutie marks. But at least they are having fun while they do it.” The mare’s advice did lift his spirit, but left him wondering if Twilight (and now him) were equally blind to life’s priorities. Perhaps making friends and having a good time wasn’t that important. Who was anypony to claim to understand the deep mysteries of life?

Soon they arrived at a field, a single cloud hovering above them. Atop said cloud rested a blue mare, seemingly without a care in the world. But her calm state of mind was disturbed by somepony shouting her name, indubitably trying to get her attention.

“What?” Said the slightly annoyed pegasus, looking down from her cloud to see Twilight Sparkle, her good friend, and a stallion she didn’t recognize. She descended in a fast yet strangely gracious manner, landing in front of the couple.

“Hi Rainbow. Meet Ash, he’s new in Ponyville.  Also, Pinkie is throwing him a welcome party at Sugarcube Corner tonight.” Twilight was nervous. She knew this was possibly the last chance to turn Ash’s life for the better, but she needed Rainbow to achieve the good result her other friends did. Dash was friendly and all, but sometimes too competitive for her own good, which could turn into a major turn off for the stallion.

“So, Rainbow Dash, Twilight told me you enjoy racing. Perhaps I could interest you in a friendly competition.” The stallion, while having no interest in sports or racing of any kind, decided it would be best for him to show interest if he were to explore each new acquaintance properly.

  While Dash examined the grey pegasus wings Twilight’s jaw dropped. She was definitively not expecting a challenge coming from Ash. In fact, it frightened her a bit. A few hours ago his behavior had been so consistent, so predictable… Now she was unsure of how she felt about him. She clearly didn’t have any power over him at this stage. The sheer thought that his decisions were his and his alone made her feel strangely uneasy. She could lose him at this rate.

Dash had very little on her mind, other than the race with the stallion. Sure, she had won a lot of races, especially against the less aerodynamic males, but a new challenger was something she never underestimated. Even if she always kept a confident look on her face.

“You’re on! First one to get to Sweet Apple Acres and back wins. OnetwothreeGO!” Ash was certainly not used to this kind of behavior, but as soon as he saw the mare take off he followed suit. Even though he wasn’t in bad shape he couldn’t help but fall behind, the distance between both contestants increasing dramatically with each passing second. By the time Rainbow Dash arrived at Sweet Apple Acres, Ash was already coming back, surrendering in utter defeat.

“Hey, what’s the matter with you? I said to Sweet Apple Acres and back, not give up halfway. At least you could have tried to finish the race.” Rainbow was a proud racer and she did not take kindly to those whom, when faced with adversity, turned back and gave up.  

“You won. Even if I kept going, what was that going to achieve anyway? You’re the better pony, and I hope that, while I was not even close to a fitting challenger, you acknowledge my participation in an activity of your interest.”

The formal way of speaking, instead of assuring Rainbow that he meant no disrespect, only made her give him a quizzical look.

“Look, if you didn’t want to race you didn’t have to. I don’t know what you heard about me but I don’t challenge me if you can’t keep up. I’ll see you at the party, I guess.” With that she flew away, towards her cloud house.

The couple just stared at the skies for a few moments before the male broke the silence.

“You know you could have helped right? I had no idea she was going to react like that. Now I’ll have to say something at the party, aren’t I? At least none of the others were mad at me when we left. Maybe this was just a really bad idea.” Said the grey stallion, now obviously insecure over his most recent failure. And things were going rather well, at least according to him.

“Don’t worry.” Assured the purple unicorn. “I’m sure she isn’t mad at you or anything. She just takes competition way too seriously. You should see her and Applejack. That’s when things can get really ugly.”

“Well, I have met all of your friends, and we still have some time until the party. What should we do next?”

“Hmm… I was meaning to ask you. What happened between you and Applejack? That was the first time I saw you act, well, normally. I mean, you were normal around Rarity, but socially friendly, instead of just polite.”

“Well, I guess I just learned some things while I was working. And things just kind of evolved from there. I wonder what would have happened if I had met them in another order. Maybe I wouldn’t be sorry for leaving.”

“That means you’re still going to leave? I was hoping you could stay. I mean, you’re not going anywhere in particular! Why can’t you just settle down and be with us?” By now Twilight was getting anxious. While her initial purpose was of saving Ash, she now really wanted him to stay, as much as she had wanted to stay in Ponyville after defeating Nightmare Moon.

“See, I just don’t…. I mean…Hurgh.” He was getting frustrated from the amount of focus it was taking him to properly express himself in a way he couldn’t possibly be misunderstood. After exhaling deeply he finally spoke again. “I like it here. I really do, and I wish I could stay longer. But then what? I’d have to get a job and my own place. Not that if I keep travelling bits are going to start falling into from the sky, but it’s easier not having to deal with it. That was kind of my whole approach on life until now. If I don’t care and don’t get involved it’s impossible for me to get hurt. I just don’t know…. Yet.” With those words he began walking towards Ponyville, before Twilight stopped him with a firm hug.

“I understand. But I won’t hurt you. Trust me.”    

Chapter 7 - The Last Night

Alone, not Lonely

Chapter 7

The night arrived soon enough, which contributed to Ash’s restlessness. The party wasn’t what bothered him, but the final decision that would come afterwards. There had been only one time where he was forced to make a drastic decision. It was the night he left his former home. But that choice had been simple. There was no future for him under his father. At that time he knew he would miss his books and small bedroom. But the possession he prized most was not his to leave behind. As long as he could gaze upon the full moon he wouldn’t miss any of it.

The doubt as old as time, is it not? To be content with what you have achieved, or to set your eyes on the stars and never stop. Like an author that has writer’s block, he couldn’t move forward. But time has no concern for our trouble.

“What are you thinking about, looking so deep?” Twilight nudged him lightly, relieving the dark silence between them. They hadn’t spoken much in the last couple of hours, only trading a few words when necessary. Things were pretty awkward since the stallion’s future had been discussed.

“Nothing in particular.” He lied. “Are there going to be more ponies in this party, or just your private group?” He honestly wanted to know, but it wasn’t so important that it couldn’t have waited. It was just easier to avoid annoying questions.

“Knowing Pinkie she probably invited most of Ponyville. Don’t worry, though. You won’t have to chit-chat with them all. At least it isn’t a surprise party.” She recalled the night that had started it all. It wasn’t a bad memory but it made her chest tighten. This was her last chance.

Even from far away the couple could hear the loud music, accompanied by distant dancing and laughing. When they got closer it was clear that Sugarcube Corner was packed with multicolored ponies dancing and playing. Twilight had done this some times before, but every time Pinkie outdid herself. Ash was downright stunned. Ignoring the voice inside his brain that told him to analyze the other’s behavior carefully, becoming one with the crowd, he just stared. He could see a green unicorn and white earth pony with wrapped candy for a cutie mark dancing a few meters away. At his right a blond pegasus swallowed a whole muffin.

“Hi! I’m Pinkie and Twilight told me you’re Ash and this is your super-most-welcoming-pinkie-pie-welcome-party!”The pink mare appeared out of nowhere as usual, which didn’t annoy Ash but made him acknowledge she was a force he did not want to upset.  

“Hi Pinkie. Great party as usual. Our friend here is a bit shy, so perhaps you could go with him and make some introductions.” Twilight knew this was a big gamble, but if neither she nor her friends could make the stallion stay, perhaps somepony else would. This extra time would also grant her time to prepare for the final blow.

After a couple of hours Ash was immensely tired. He had met more mares than he could count, along with about five stallions. There was something profoundly wrong with the gender ratio in this town. He had chatted a bit with Rarity and Applejack, and while seeing Rainbow he didn’t feel like talking to her just yet. He had meant to greet Fluttershy but she was busy with the birds that provided the music. After some time of games and shamefully clumsy dancing he heard somepony whispering on his ear.

“Come with me.”

A hoof pulled him sharply, leading him to the exit. When they arrived outside it was perfectly clear that Twilight had something important to say. They went around the corner so they wouldn’t be seen or heard. This, however, did not stop a certain blue pegasus mare from following them out of sheer curiosity. The unicorn opened her mouth, ready to speak. But she didn’t. Each just stared at the other for a while. Then something clicked inside the mare’s brain, allowing her to finally express herself openly.

“Ash…. We have only met for a day, but what a day it was! It’s not like I feel we have met for years now, but I wish we had. This might seem rash, but I can’t imagine what it would be like not knowing you. I don’t know if you’ve decided yet, but perhaps this will help.” Now she was genuinely afraid. She stepped forward, closing the gap between them until it became inexistent.

Ash didn’t close his eyes as she did. In fact his were wide open, displaying shock and confusion. Instead of breaking the link, he returned the kiss. It was his first time, but instinct quickly caught up. When they’re lips split he couldn’t look at her, ashamed of himself. In spite of this, Ash spoke first.

“Look, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I’m sorry. I don’t feel that way. At all. Sorry.” Not knowing how to best respond he just apologized repeatedly. Surely she would understand.

“Then… then why?” The mare was shaking slightly, afraid of the answer. She now thought the best thing that could happen to her was the ground swallowing her whole.

“It was instinct, I guess. I mean, it felt good, I don’t know. But what were you expecting? Certainly you understand that if I didn’t return your feelings I would leave. Wouldn’t it be better to leave things as they were?”

“You know that I couldn’t just be friends with you. Not after today.”She was by now unable to breathe normally.

Rainbow Dash observed as the purple mare's eyes filled with tears, the male distressed from the recent discussion.

Ash couldn't bare it any longer. He knew he shouldn't, that anypony with a decent heart in his chest could never do it. But he did anyway. He turned around and left,

the party as noisy as before. The ponies inside would freeze if they even suspected what was going around outside.

Twilight couldn't move. Where could she go? Certainly not the party. And the library felt too lonely to even contemplate as a choice.

The stallion had made a turn, so he wasn't visible anymore. Not to the lonely unicorn, that is. Rainbow dash was homing rapidly into the blue-maned pegasus.

*CRASH*

"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HER, YOU MONSTER? AFTER ALL SHE DID FOR YOU. HOW CAN ANYPONY BE SO SELFISH AND HEARTLESS?" Dash was now sitting on top of him, who was lying in his back. Between each word a violent hoof met his face, his snout or his eyes.

But Ash wasn't fighting back. No thought of self-preservation entered his mind. He felt tears dropping on his face, but he couldn't tell whether they were his or Rainbow's. He knew he was weeping, but not from pain. Pain was nothing compared to his emotional suffering. But how could he cry when he felt so hollow inside?

He had turned away from the only pony that ever loved him like that. And worst of all, she could never see him again as he would rather die than set his eyes on her again. There he was, running away from his problems, as always.

Eventually Rainbow got tired and gave up. There was nothing else she could do to him. Crushing his wings was usually the ultimate punishment for a pegasus, apart from death. But she wasn’t a murderer and such a poor flyer couldn’t possibly miss his wings very much, so she just left, disgusted.

Twilight was now gone, so Ash took his time, standing up. He could feel his face swelling from the recent beating. It was time to leave, for good.

Unfortunately his cloak was still at the library. But he wasn’t going back there, no way. For one, Twilight could be there, and even if she weren’t Spike would ask him about his swollen face. It was time to leave everything behind, even if that meant his own life. He had no idea how long it would be before he reached the closest town, and without bits or food it was bound to be an excruciating trip.

Ash didn’t go far. Soon a figure much taller than him stood before him. They had never met before, but the wings and horn left no doubt in his mind. Celestia wouldn’t be happy about what just happened to her student. Nonetheless, such an immediate response caught the gray stallion off guard.

“Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria.” He spoke these words, but did not bow. In principle this would be a casual visit, as he had broken no laws. Politics never spiked his interest, so he also had very little reason to respect Celestia, since being born an alicorn required no knowledge or skill.

“Ash Cloud. My most beloved student Twilight Sparkle has told me everything about what happened today. I won’t stop you from leaving, but I am interested in your justification.” There was no anger in her voice, only kindness, as expected from the perfectly benevolent ruler.

“I have no answers for you, Celestia. And shouldn’t you be busy? I mean, if you have time to check on your student’s romantic interests, surely this kingdom must practically run itself!” His rudeness surprised the princess. She had not been spoken in such a way in several centuries.

Ash had nothing to lose, so fake pleasantries would be a waste of his patience. As far he knew Twilight was a grown mare and could take care of her own problems.

“You hurt my student, and you don’t expect me to defend her? Who do you take me for? She sent me many scrolls today, when she could get a few moments alone, I suspect. But can you really disappear from her life, knowing she loves you?”

“Please. She doesn’t love me. She’s young and inexperienced. Obviously confusing her affection for somepony who feels the same pain she felt some time ago, for something deeper. Besides, I only met her last night.

“Love can appear when and where you least expect it, my little pony. Don’t be so quick to judge her feelings…”

“SHUT UP, YOU MULE! WHY CAN’T YOU ALL JUST LEAVE ME ALONE? ” Ash had never said something like that before and everypony would agree that insulting the goddess of the sun was not a bright thing to do.

The princess sighed, patting her own forehead with her hoof. “I understand you are confused, but there is no need to punish Twilight and yourself further.” She offered a smile, hoping the stallion would make the right choice.

“Sure, easy for you to say. But would have followed your advice a thousand years ago, when you imprisoned Luna? Actually, there is something I always wondered. The old pony tale said the stars would help in her escape, not that her banishment was temporary. You meant her to stay there forever didn’t you? You’re no less of a monster than I am.”

“There are no monsters here. Just a pair of ponies that made some very bad decisions. But my mistakes do not justify yours. You can still return to her, make amends.”

“Amends? I did nothing wrong. Why can’t I just leave?”

“Because you don’t want to. It’s as simple as that really.”

“But I do. All this time I was alone, not lonely. I don’t need to be around ponies, they are just annoying. Twilight was weak, becoming fragile due to her feelings. I AM NOT LIKE THAT. I AM NOT WEAK. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!” He ran past Celestia, not caring in which direction he went. Ash Cloud never looked back.

He galloped far away, trying not to think about how easily Celestia could reach him and, should she desire it, kill him. Or send him to the moon forever. Still, ponies that have nothing to lose do the strangest things, do they not?

After he made sure he wasn’t being followed, a flapping of wings was heard, graceful but still pretty powerful. But despite his worries, it was not Celestia who landed facing him, but a darker, younger alicorn. Somepony he actually wanted to meet, that had inspired him for so many years.

Princess Luna.

Chapter 8 - The End

Alone, not Lonely

Chapter 8

Ash bowed for the first time in his life, as far as he could recall. Before him stood his idol, the ponyfication of the moon itself. The moon that, like him, was misunderstood by the scum that could never grasp their suffering. His heart was throbbing excitedly in his ribcage. As he lifted his head the royal alicorn spoke.

“What have I done to deserve your praise that my sister did not?” Her voice had the same power as Celestia’s, but wasn’t warm, like the sun. Instead it was cool with a hint of darkness.

The stallion wasn’t expecting that question. In fact, he had been so fast to bow that he ignored why the pony of the night had come to meet him personally. Celestia was fond of Twilight Sparkle, but the unicorn had never mentioned Luna.

“Those who are unloved, as I was, can always expect my respect.” Ash himself wasn’t completely pleased with his choice of words, but what has been said can never be taken back. Not completely.

“I was always loved. By my sister. Even though….” She paused momentarily, as if remembering a painful memory. “Even though the moon can never shine without the sun, and like the stars are suns too far away to light the day, she was always there for me. I was the one in the wrong. Without the sun the moon is nothing but a large, dark rock.”

“Goddess of the Moon or not, you are not powerless without Celestia. And in spite of being before you is an honor, I believe you came to me for a reason…” This was getting awkward a bit too fast. He hadn’t expected Luna to be arrogant, but she just seemed too fragile.

Luna coughed before speaking with a more confident tone.

“My sister has told me about you. I also saw how you treated her. I came here because I wanted to, not because I was told. And I am here because you need me.”

Ash was now gritting his teeth, a drop of sweat falling from his chin.

“How dare you! I have never needed anypony. The moon helped me many times before, I cannot deny this fact. Nonetheless, I have never depended on another’s for direct guidance. My choices shall be mine and mine alone, along with their consequences.”

“You are a fool. This pride will be end of you. Like me a thousand years ago, you were offered love and kindness, yet you are ready to throw it away. Why?”

“Since I was a foal, I have been alone. My wretched father never did a thing for me. I had to learn everything on my own. I have always been alone. I don’t know how to be with others. There is nothing in Ponyville for me.”

“This time I can prove you wrong.” Luna smiled, light emitting from her horn. A cloud took shape before them, an image beginning to form in its core. Twilight Sparkle was crying as she wrote in a piece of parchment. This one was too private to dictate to Spike. Still, old habits do not die and she spoke its contents out loud.

“Dear Princess Celestia.

Today I have discovered that sometimes ponies don’t want to be with you, and they will break your heart if need be. At times it’s best not to interfere. Some ponies don’t need friends.

Your heart-broken student, Twilight Sparkle.”

The strange cloud dissipated, leaving the dark alicorn and the depressed pegasus alone under the stars.

“I can’t force you to go back, but I promise you will always wonder if you don’t.”

He knew he had no choice. There was no telling what would happen, but he had to set things straight. For Twilight. He owed her that, at least.

“Thank you, Princess Luna.” After those words he turned to Ponyville, still visible thanks to the artificial lights inside ponies homes.

There was a knocking in Ponyville’s library that startled Twilight Sparkle, but not loud enough to wake up the dormant dragon. She didn’t move. Whoever it was, it could wait until morning. The door opened nonetheless and Ash walked in, looking around. They stared at each other for a moment. Twilight looked at his bruised and swollen face with surprise and slight disgust.

“What happened to your face?” She tried her best not to sound concerned, turning her head in order to clean the tears that had previously ran free from her face.

"Rainbow Dash. Let's leave it at that. I don’t suppose you have a spell that could help?” He tried smiling, but the guilt stopped him.

While she wasn’t an expert, Twilight knew a couple of healing spells. She approached Ash and began tending to his wounds.  The only thing that came out of his mouth was “I’m sorry”.

“Why did you come back?”

“I’ll just say that a couple of ponies advised me properly. I wasn’t planning to, to tell the truth. And I'm not staying. I just owed you a goodbye, that's all."

The mare didn’t respond, but kept treating Ash’s wounds carefully. After she was done the tension of the unwanted farewell lingered in the air.

“Do you really have to go?" She knew her pleas would be fruitless, but that wasn't going to stop her.

“Yes. Not for my pride or for my comfort, but for myself."

“Will you ever return?”

“No.” The stallion said, hoping that his last statement was a lie.

He got his cloak and walked alone into the starlit night, not knowing where he would wander into next.

And in the library stood Twilight Sparkle, lonely, clinging to that last word of sorrow.

From the dark night he came,

The solitary cloaked,

And whom else to blame

If his own tears he choked.

Fair Rarity, with her dress

Along with Applejack with her ability to impress,

After meeting Poor and caring Fluttershy,

Rainbow’s speed he could not deny.

Pinkie's party was great,

Celestia will always tolerate,

Luna showed him his true heart,

His choice was none from the start.

Twilight is now alone,

That is the fate of those who have grown.

Her friend will ease the pain,

But she will never forget his name.

THE END

Author's note: First of all, thank you. Thank you for reading this. I hope you had as much fun as I had. I spent this last week thinking about this chapter, how it would go. The ending was decided before I had finished the first chapter, I always knew this would happen. But for a few days I felt the urge to have Ash stay in Ponyville for some time. I honestly didn't want this story to end. I even considered asking you, the readers, if I should end it or keep going. But it wouldn't be right.

For those who tracked, favorited and commented: a thousand times thank you. It wasn't easy writing something like this in a language that isn't my own.You gave me strenght to see this through.

The secrets of Ash Cloud

I know what most of you wanted was a sequel. I’m very sorry, but I can’t write one now. I don’t know if I ever will. However, there is one thing I can give you. I can give you Ash Cloud.

There is a lot of information about him that you don’t know. I am proud to say that everything he did had a reason, none of it was random. This is basically a chapter dedicated to explaining Ash, why he did this and that as well as his personality.

It’s probably easier for you to read each chapter separately and then come back to this chapter. Alternatively you can open a new tab and read them both at the same time as this text won’t make a lot of sense if you fail to remember everything that happened.  

Background: Ash is a pegasus born from a pegasus father and earth pony mother. His mother died when he was young, so he barely remembers her. After her death his father started drinking. He wasn’t a bad pony, he was just devastated due to his wife’s death. Even after he lost his job, he still managed to keep up his bad habit thanks to some savings and the life insurance. Sometimes he hit Ash, who was too young and weak to face his father.

Due to this situation Ash often closed himself in his room, reading books he borrowed from the local library. He was also ashamed of his father and this prevented his from finding friends. Of course, the other fillies and colts wanted nothing to do with the son of the alcoholic stallion, who went to school bruised every couple of months. After a particularly bad fight with his father, Ash decided to grab as much money as he could and flee, leaving everything behind except for his mother’s old cloak, one he knew she wore when taking him play at the park during the winter.

Chapter 1

This is probably not obvious, but when Ash tells Twilight he couldn’t find a place to stay he was insincere. The truth is he was short on money so he often had to sleep in the street. He only used money to buy food and the occasional room when he could find a particularly nasty but cheap place. At first he is also very polite because he learned that ponies were more likely to trust somepony that way. Not that he was brought up like this either, he simply read “How to speak like a proper gentlecolt”. Lacking any real friends he frequently read books on how to behave socially. Ash also mentions being nocturnal. In fact, that was more of an acquired habit as he preferred being awake when his father was asleep in order to avoid him.

Chapter 2

In this chapter Twilight mentions being Celestia’s student for the first time. This is important because in spite of never meeting her, Ash has a strong opinion about her. I will explain better when they meet. This is one of the reasons he accepts Twilight’s friendship. Upon calling her a filly he was cut off before he could apologize. Don’t be mistaken, he wasn’t going to apologize because he felt remorse. After living with a violent drunk one learns to apologize over the smallest thing, one of Ash’s favorite tactics to get out of trouble. It always worked with teachers.

The other defensive tactic is lying. He tells her that he was born in Cloudsdale. Since you now know his mother was an earth pony you see how this had to be a lie. After all, there was no reason to tell the truth. He also lies about having a happy foalhood because he is proud and dislikes it when others feel sorry for him.

Chapter 3

In this chapter we finally learn something interesting about Ash. He got mad, but not enough to lose his carefully-crafted speech. He lost his cool and knows that actions always have consequences. Again, no remorse.

It is also revealed to him that Twilight has only a handful of friends, which helped him make his mind. It’s in this chapter he decides to give them a chance instead of fleeing. This is convenient because he has left his cloak (including all of his money in one of the pockets) in the library. Fetching them now could be a problem since Spike would ask questions regarding Twilight.

Again he uses a lie to avoid revealing more about his past. He was most certainly not homeschooled, but he did learn more at home because he spent most of his free time reading. You can still detect from the way he talks about gentlecolts that family bonds aren’t important to him. Guess why.

Chapter 4

This is an important chapter for Ash, because it is the first time he lowers his shields and tries to be genuinely nice. Manual labor was something he would reject but he prefers to avoid conflict above all. There isn’t much to say about this chapter because Ash is actually himself.

Chapter 5

The beginning of this chapter is Ash’s monologue, the first time he lets the reader into his own head. No major revelations there, except that he always concerned himself with his purpose. As you might recall, he doesn’t know the meaning of his own cutie mark.

After the bath we see some failed attempts at humor regarding Twilight’s sexuality. His arrogance is also more visible in this short exchange of words.

The next part is very important. Ash had always seen his father as a bully and used his own hatred for his dad in his attack. In this chapter we also see him fly for the first time. I can’t stress the importance of this enough. This is the first time Ash feels true remorse and forgets his dislike for his own wings (which reminded him of his father) and flies. He repents for his actions and is actually happy when he is forgiven.

Chapter 6

Finally arrives the time when I tell you about Ash’s cutie mark. The story he tells the crusaders is mostly true apart from the fact that his dad didn’t punish him. He locked himself in order to escape his drunken father’s anger. The cutie mark represents his thirst for knowledge. It is true that Ash himself isn’t certain but he isn’t completely clueless.

His encounter with Dash goes horribly simply because he has no interest in physical competition, only intellectual one. Also, he hadn’t flown in a long time so he could never hope to match Dash’s speed. In fact, in his opinion only brutes like his father cared about such trivial things. I must stress that he only proposed the challenge in order to be polite.

And at last he is confronted by Twilight about staying in Ponyville. At this point he honestly doesn’t know what he should do. If things had gone perfectly at the part he would have probably stayed.

Chapter 7

By know you understand Ash a lot better but it’s not over yet. The kiss is most likely the highlight of this chapter and some of you might wonder why he kissed Twilight back. He isn’t in love with her, but new experiences are something he doesn’t often refuse. Instinct played a part as well. He doesn’t want to leave but Twilight left him no other choice.

When Dash assaults him he offers no resistance. Guilt plays only a small role in this. Being used beatings from his father increased his resistance to pain and he also knew Dash was in all probability stronger than he was.

I should shed some light regarding his opinion on Celestia. He always loves the moon, his only companion. That alone was a reason to dislike the ruler who expelled the ponification of the moon and the night, regardless of motive. He also has no respect for somepony just because of status or strength and refuses to bow to Celestia for this reason. He would only bow to somepony who greatly surpassed his intellect. Celestia could, of course, but the topic at hand was far from intellectual. He does feel offended when Celestia patronizes him and for the first time he shows fury. And in this fury he shows his true colors. I won’t claim he was completely honest with himself, but what he strived to be (strong, independent, unemotional…) is quite clear.

Chapter 8

It is easy to notice how differently he acts around Luna, somepony he respects and cares about. Of course he respects the night and the moon, not the actual pony but that isn’t very important. This is another chapter where not much is hidden. Interesting how honest he is when meeting his idol. His last apology to Twilight is also sincere.

There you have it. I shared everything about Ash Cloud, even when he didn’t. He always felt a bit too real for a fictitious character but it helped a lot when writing.