"I'm booooooooooooored," Pinkie Pie whined for the seventh time in the past hour.

"Well then, what should we dooooooooooooooooo?" I countered back.

"I don't knoooooooooooooooow," she answered.

It was one of those weekends. You know what I'm talking about. We had little homework and a lot of free time. We also had absolutely no idea what to do with said free time. I was bored, and, funny enough, "I'm booooooooooooored" was the exact text that Pinkie Pie sent to me an hour ago. And that's the reason why I ended up driving over to my girlfriend's house at 8:00 PM in the rain. Because Pinkie Pie had run out of fun things to do.

That's how you know without a doubt, that that it's definitely one of those weekends.

So there we were, in Pinkie Pie's bedroom, sprawled out lazily across her bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.

"We could bake something," I suggested.

"We did that last night," Pinkie droned. "I want to do something fun that we've never done before!"

"Something we've... never done before?" That statement caught me by surprise for a brief moment, mostly because...

"Pinkie, how many new things can we do when we're stuck inside on a rainy night?"

"Hmmmmm," Pinkie Pie adorably scrunched her face as she tried her best to think of a solution for a minute. "I guess you're right," she eventually concluded.

A brief silence overtook the room again. I sat up and asked, "So, what should we do, then?"

Pinkie sat up, as well, before turning to me and bluntly answering, "...Eh, probably the same thing we always do when its late at night and we have nothing else to do."

"...Make out?"

"Yep!"

"...Sure."

If I was dating any other girl, an exchange like that would have given me whiplash. But Pinkie Pie has always been the type of girl that completely and utterly ignores social norms and just gets right to the point, however unorthodox her methods may be. I found her personality to be a bit... odd at first. But as we continued to date, and as the months went by, I started to understand Pinkie Pie, if you can imagine. And I certainly wasn't complaining about her forwardness as she lightly touched her lips against mine.

We sat side by side as our mouths began an intricate dance, lightly kissing each other for only the briefest of moments before pulling away, and moving back in again. As she reached around my back to embrace me, my neck was already getting tired of keeping my head turned ninety degrees towards Pinkie, so I decided to change her position.

Pinkie Pie was always one of the smaller girls in my class, both in terms of height and width. This was a fact that I took full advantage of as I grabbed hold of her waist, and hoisted her up into the air.

"Whoa, hey!" Pinkie Pie playfully laughed. "Stop the ride, stop the ride!"

I couldn't help but share her infectious giggle for a moment as I put her down so that she could face me directly. I honestly couldn't have held her there for that much longer anyways, so I lowered her onto my lap. Her arms and her legs all started to wrap tightly around me, her kisses slowly increased in intensity as she anchored herself to my frame. At this point, I could have let go of her completely and she wouldn't have moved an inch. But I didn't let go of her. Why would I want to? All I could think about was how badly I wanted to feel more of her, and there was nothing I could do to stop that feeling, even if I wanted to.

By this point, Pinkie's tongue had already begun to ravage the inside of my mouth with the same disproportionate level of energy that I had always known her to have. My left arm coiled around her upper back as the digits of my right hand stretched themselves to get a firm grip on her small bottom. My right hand covered up her entire left cheek and squeezed lightly. It honestly felt as if her butt was custom-made to fit perfectly into the palm of my hand. She continued to assault my mouth with hers, breathing more heavily into me as my other arm continued to press the rest of her body into mine. Still I continued to squeeze her, silently thanking the universe that I had a fun, lovable, perky girlfriend with a perfectly-sized body to hug, cuddle, and on occasions like this, completely smother with my own body.

I always found it funny how many men are obsessed with women with grotesquely huge breasts and butts. They always want their women to be bigger and bigger.

They don't know the finer things in life.

Pinkie suddenly broke off of our kiss, disrupting my thoughts. "I just thought of something really fun we can do!" she announced cheerfully.

Just like that, the entire mood changed. The kissing, the groping, and the hormones all stopped for a brief moment, and I didn't like it.

"Okay..." I answered slowly. "How about we do it later, and just get back to this, for now."

"Actually, I was thinking that we take what we're doing here, and make it even more fun. Do you want to have sex?"

As crazy as it seems, I've dated Pinkie Pie long enough that that question only mildly surprised me.

"You mean, like, right now?" I asked.

"Sure," Pinkie grinned. "If you want to, that is. I'm just saying that my parents aren't home, and even more importantly, Limestone isn't home, either."

"Oh god," I shuddered. "She would kill me if she was here right now."

"But she's not," Pinkie pointed out. "So what do you say?" she asked while waggling her eyebrows. "You wanna do something fun?"

There is no amount of alcohol, nor any other drugs known to man, that can lower a man's inhibitions as much as being alone with Pinkie Pie, so...

"Sure," I shrugged. "Fuck it, let's go!"

"Okay!" she said with an excited grin.

And just like that, she jumped off of me, dropped to the floor, and started to remove my pants. Once my jeans and boxers were down to my ankles on the floor, Pinkie looked down at my penis... and stared for a moment.

I had no idea what to do. Is she waiting for something? Is she judging it? What's going on??

As it turns out, she was just thinking of something.

"I know!" Pinkie suddenly perked up. She then reached into her hair and pulled out a bottle of chocolate syrup.

For the first time in quite a while, Pinkie Pie made me stop dead in my tracks.

"Wha...?" was all that came out of my mouth. That was literally one of the last things I expected her to do at a time like this, and I had no earthly idea what she planned to do. That is, until she popped the cap off and upended the bottle directly over my penis.

!!

"What? Wait, what are you-"

Too late. She was already squeezing chocolate syrup all over my dick. I couldn't help but reflexively cringe away from the gooey substance as it flowed down my body, which, by the way, did not ask for this. I just blankly stared as she continued to drip more and more onto it, maneuvering the bottle around the entire surface of my cock, as if she was nonchalantly trying to put an even layer of icing on a cake.

Just when I thought that I couldn't be more confused, said cock started to expand rapidly.

"What? Why??" I mentally screamed at my stretching member. "Why is... just... WHY??"

"There we go," Pinkie Pie suddenly announced, as she put the empty bottle back into the impossible pocket dimension she keeps in her pink hair. "Now, for the finishing touch!"

And then she pulled out a jar of sprinkles. By the way, she was, in fact, wearing her magic necklace with the pink geode.

Just like that, my dick went from 100 to 0 faster than I ever thought possible as I frantically scrambled backwards onto the bed.

"What are you doing??" I shrieked. "Do you want to blow my dick off??"

"Huh?" Pinkie Pie replied, seeming legitimately confused for a brief moment before glancing towards the jar of sprinkles in her hand. "Oh, you mean that!" she laughed.

"Yeah, that! I'd rather you not put explosive sprinkles on penis!"

"Oh relax," Pinkie sighed as she grabbed my ankle, dragging me back to my original spot on the side of the bed. "I can totally make sure that they don't explode. Trust me, I'm a lot better at controlling my magic than I was when I accidentally blew up the dock at Camp Everfree, so don't worry! As the camp counselor used to say, 'I've got this!'"

Before I could even retort about how unconvincing that statement was, she had already started to sprinkle the... well, sprinkles, onto me. She actually started to hum. And I could hear it very clearly due to the fact that I was frozen in complete horror, forgetting even to breath. Every tiny little piece of cake confection that dropped onto my confused dick felt like a super dense hammer had hit in instead, and any one off those impacts could spell my doom. I couldn't even tell you how long it went on for. Time seemed to drag on for longer than normal as I waited with dread for my inevitable castration.

And then, she stopped. She put the cap back on the jar of sprinkles and put it back in her hair. And when I looked down, I thought that I was looking down on a chocolate eclair for a moment. There was no skin visible underneath the chocolate syrup, and the sprinkles were spread out evenly, and actually stuck to the sticky substance. Once I got over the fact that my dick was not going to explode, the absurdity of my penis looking like a chocolate desert started to slowly sink in. I had no idea how to feel about any of this.

"There we go," Pinkie said, sounding satisfied. "Huh, it's gotten smaller now," she continued as she moved her mouth towards her newly-made chocolate-covered, cream-filled donut cock. "I guess I should fix that." She then stuck out her tongue, and lightly licked my tip.

Once again, my shaft started to expand, and once again I was extremely confused why. Then she started to swirl her tongue around it, as if she was trying to lick the last bit of frosting off of a cake mixer. My groin was being assaulted by the strange sensations of her slimy and wet tongue clearing away the sticky and gooey syrup that coated me from tip to hilt.

There was still quite of bit of the offending deserts covering me when Pinkie pulled away for a brief moment and began to lower her shorts.

"I just realized that it's only fair if you got to taste me too, right?" she asked coyly. Then she removed her panties, as well.

"Uh, yeah," I stuttered, slowly getting back into things. "I can do that. I don't need any chocolate syrup, though."

"Okay," she chuckled, as if she found my answer silly.

With her entire bottom half completely bare, she climbed back onto the bed, and flashed me a look inviting me to join her. I complied, leaving my pants and underwear behind on the floor. We sat there on the bed, both of us nude from the waist down, and started at each other's groins for a brief moment before Pinkie's hand reached out and pushed me flat onto my back. My head rested lightly on her pillow for a brief moment before she removed the pillow from under me, forcing me to stare straight up at her face.

"Okay," she grinned. "Now it's your turn." Then, she stood up, turned around, and sat on my face.

I involuntarily gasped out loud, though nobody could have heard it as mouth was completely muffled by her ass. My hands reflexively reached up to grab it. Once again having that perfect hold, I squeezed tightly and extended my tongue deep into her love cave. She moaned in pleasure, but it almost sounded as if her voice was strangely coming from somewhere further down my body. While I was contemplating that, I suddenly felt her mouth seal itself around my still chocolate-covered cock.

"Unf!" I suddenly groaned, my entire body jolting in response to her wet lips suddenly putting pressure all around my still-erect penis. My involuntary jolt also resulted in me widening my mouth a little and accidentally prodding my tongue deeper into Pinkie's vagina, causing her to involuntarily jolt and clamp her mouth tighter around my dick. This chain reaction continued for a while, both of us sucking and tasting each other's most private areas, our breaths and our cries of passion both increasing in intensity as more of her scents and juices flooded my senses. I don't even know how long we continued to pleasure each other like that. I was so completely engrossed in it that I barely even noticed when Pinkie removed her mouth from my dick and spoke again.

"You're all clean down here," she suddenly declared between panting breaths. "You want to try something else now?"

For a moment, I just wanted to stay the way we were, and enjoy the feeling of my tongue inside of her. But then, I slowly started to remember that another part of me wanted to be inside of her even more. I lightly prodded Pinkie's pert bottom until she lifted it off of me and allowed me to sit up, and eventually slip out from under her and off the bed completely. I stood there on the floor, locking eyes with her for a moment, and then, without another word, removed my shirt. Pinkie reached for hers, as well. In fact, she was so eager that she got her shirt off before me, despite my head start. My arms automatically reached out towards her as she finished undoing her bra, revealing two breasts that were fairly small, but honestly a little bigger and rounder than I expected.

"I guess the fat from all those sweets had to go somewhere," I though wryly as I grabbed her and lifted her up by the waist.

Even though Pinkie was a light girl, she wasn't that light, and I wasn't that strong. I briefly struggled with her weight for a moment, but said nothing, and instead focused on how to make this position more manageable. My right arm lowered a little bit, letting gravity do some of the work as I lowered her down until my arm was fully outstretched below me, holding her waist at about the same level as my own as my left arm reached around to her upper back and found purchase there. My dominant hand moved pinkie's waist around until I found the spot where it needed to be. Despite the extra weight I was carrying, I slowly maneuvered her lower body until my throbbing shaft just barely entered inside of her. Pinkie moaned in approval and wrapped her legs tightly around my waist, making it that much easier for me to keep her pressed against me.

So there I was, naked, standing up straight and cradling my naked girlfriend's body into my own, her naked thighs squeezing tightly around my naked torso, her naked breasts ballooning against my naked chest, and my naked cock just barely inside of her naked sex.

"I'm so glad that I have such a strong man," Pinkie cooed.

"I'm not strong, I'm just lucky to have such a light girl," I answered.

"Sweet and petite," she smiled. "Nothing at all like the cover art."

"Damn straight," I agreed.

Then, with me still carrying Pinkie, locked in that position, I began to walk towards her bedroom door.

"Don't stop the ride this time," Pinkie breathed.

I briefly removed my left arm from her back and closed the door with a definitive click.

"The ride hasn't started yet," I growled. And then, I threw both of our weights into the closed door, violently thrusting myself inside of her.

"Aaeeii!" Pinkie screamed as I shoved myself inside of her again and again, ramming her harder and harder into the wall. Her breathing grew heavier, my body began to coat itself in sweat, and my loins were getting closer and closer to the breaking point as I manhandled Pinkie Pie, plowing her over and over against the wooden door.

Unfortunately, my arms were quickly growing tired from my exertions. So, while Pinkie was still wrapped all around me and I was still deep inside of her, I backed away from the door and flopped back into the bed, where Pinkie was more than happy enough to finish me off, bouncing aggressively on my cock and causing the rest of my body to rock along with her rhythm.

"Gnngh! Pinkie, I'm close," I grunted.

"Okay," Pinkie groaned. "Now, for the last surprise..."

Before I could question what she meant, Pinkie Pie briefly went limp, putting all of her weight on my penis and burying it deep inside of her.

Then she sat there for a moment, looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Sprinkles aren't the only things I can make explode."

I never saw it coming. Without warning, a powerful jolt shot through my penis, as if I had just shoved it into a weak electric socket. Then, faster than I could even blink, pressure started to build up inside of it, quickly reaching the maximum tolerable pressure, and then past it.

"Shit! Shit! What did you do??" I panicked.

"Don't worry!" Pinkie hollered back, beginning to bounce on me once more. "It's not going to actually explode, just, you know, explode. In the good way."

"Fuck! Fuck!"

It felt like my manhood was being inflated like a balloon. An amount of pressure that should not be scientifically possible was being pumped into my loins, and it only continued to grow further and further.

"Come on..." Pinkie moaned. "Come on!!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!"

BOOM!!

It sounded like a cannon went off. It felt like a cannon went off. I couldn't tell you what it looked like because my vision turned spotty from the inhumanely powerful shockwave that exploded from my loins. Rather than pumping out jets of sperm, the orgasm that I felt was more akin to all of my seed violently shooting out of me at the same time. Again, like a cannon.

The sensation was so violent, so all-encompassing that I barely even registered what happened on Pinkie's end.

She went flying. Like, she actually got blasted off of the bed, across the room, and into the wall behind her. She stuck to the wall for a brief moment before comically sliding down onto the floor. Her eyes were bulged open, staring at a fixed point a thousand miles away. He mouth fell open, releasing a low, continuous groan as no less than a pint of human sperm flooded out of her vaginal cavity and onto the floor, mixed with god-only-knows how much of her own juices.

Twenty seconds might not seem like such a long time, but try actually counting to twenty, and imagine that for those full twenty seconds, my girlfriend just sat there on the floor, completely unresponsive except for the random, spastic twitches in her legs as she continued to do nothing but moan and empty an impossible amount of human fluids onto the floor, with that faraway, comatose look in her eyes. It felt like it was going to go on forever, but eventually, her elongated groan simmered out, and her twitches and spasms finally relaxed.

Without another word, Pinkie Pie collapsed.

I found myself suddenly feeling light-headed as well. As my vision started to darken, I found myself reflecting on what just happened: I had just broken the world record for the most powerful male orgasm of all time. So powerful that Pinkie Pie, the single most energetic girl on the planet, was knocked out cold from the aftermath.

"Well, that was fun," was my only thought before I too passed out where I lay.

If you see any errors, please point them out in the comments ASAP so I can quickly fix them for future readers. Constructive criticism is also welcome.

The only thing that I have to say about this one is that I am legitimately sorry for that comment that Pinkie made about the cover art. If you rolled your eyes at that joke, you had every right to. I honestly think that Pinkie Pie's fourth wall breaks have gotten really cliched at this point, and honestly the only reason why I typed up that line is because I wanted people to know that for the remainder of this fic, I will often be portraying the main 7 as looking very different than the cover art provided. And having Pinkie Pie just say that out loud felt like the best way to get that point across in a way that nobody would question.

Up next: The two chapters where I somehow managed to write some decent scenery and romance to go with the sex.