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Emperor's Child in Equestria

by Imperius

Chapter 24: Culture Shock

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Culture Shock

The door to Twilight’s library slams open and a very grumpy looking Celestia trots in, a golden aura holding an ice pack to her head.

”You know, a simple “Not interested.” would have sufficed.” she says irritably. “Was that really necessary?”

“I will not dignify that with a response, xeno.”

”That was a response, you know.” You shut your mouth and ignore the vile witch-horse.

”If you don’t mind my asking, Celestia, how the hell did you survive that?” Infernus asks.

”One of the perks that comes with being a daemon.” she replies.

”You don’t look much like a daemon.”

”I’m one of the nice ones. At least until you shoot me in the head.” she says, shooting a glare at you.

“I don’t care how nice you are, witch-horse.”

”And to think I actually liked you,” she sighs.

Over the last few hours Apophis and Infernus had brought you up to speed on the events now taking place. Apparently the daemon had gone and started some kind of war over some damned xenos relics. Fucking daemons.

”You know, you could at least try to get along with them.” Infernus says. “We’re all stuck together until this war is over.”

“I do not protect xenos, I kill them. I have purged entire worlds, entire systems, broken armies, slaughtered kings like cattle, and ground entire empires into dust beneath my heel. Have you ever heard of the Laer?”

”Can’t say I have.” Infernus sighs.

“They were a race of xenos so formidable that Imperial tacticians deemed their extermination to be too costly, any war with them was predicted to last decades. The III Legion slaughtered their entire race within a single month.”
”Well you know what? The Laer are gone and so are the Emperor’s Children, nobody in the galaxy remembers either of you. So what did your vaunted perfection get you? Nothing. Times have changed, Anonymous. More and more humans are opening up to co-operation with xenos, even Astartes.”

“Then these are dark times indeed.”

”These are mankind’s twilight hours, Anonymous. We can’t afford to be at war with everyone, we need friends.”

The door to the library opens again and this time the xeno you’ve designated Purplemagic comes trotting in with- Wait.

“Would anyone like to explain to me why Purplemagic’s companion is wearing my legion’s colors?”

”For the last time, my name is Twilight!”

“For the last time, I’m calling you Purplemagic.”

”Sorry, sir, what was that about colors?” the psyker’s companion asks.

“My legion’s armor bore those same colors.” you say.

”I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t really see much a resemblance...” he says, eyeing your armor.

“This...” you growl, rapping your chestplate. “is a mistake. Now what do you want?”

”Sir, I’m sorry, but after shooting down that eldar craft neither I or my men have enough energy left to shield the town, I’m going to need more time.”

”We may not have more time.” Infernus says, a hand to the side of his helmet. “Getting a vox from Spirit of Funk, apparently more eldar craft have entered the atmosphere. A lot more.”

”How many is a lot?” Apophis asks.

”Over a hundred ships have broken from the main fleet and are making for the planet now.”

Apophis growls and locks his helmet back into place. “it looks like they’re finally done messing around.”

Being angry at tiny horses can wait, now is war time.
“We should make a tactical withdrawal, there’s no way we can defend a position like this from that number of aircraft. Is there somewhere defensible we can pull back to?”

”The closest place to Ponyville is Canterlot.” Purplemagic’s friend says. You really need to think up a name for this one. Well his armor’s pretty shiny, how about Shining Armor? Yes, that will do nicely until you can find a fuck to give about his name.

“Is it well defended?”

”It’s the capital of our nation and where my sister and I make our home, there is no better defended area in the world.” Sunbutt says.

”We need to begin evacuations immediately then.” Apophis suggests.

”I’ll dispatch thunderhawks to ferry the ponies there. This town isn’t that big is it?” Infernus asks.

”Ponyville’s pretty small, only a few hundred.” Purplemagic replies.

”That’s doable.” Infernus says. “Apophis, can you and your Rubrics take care of the town’s defense while me and my men coordinate the evacuation?”

”On it.” he says, vanishing an instant later with a flash of Warp lightning.

”Anonymous, you’ll be with me.” Infernus informs you.

“My name is not Anonymous.”

”Well you won’t tell me your real name so I don’t really have much of a choice here. Also I had our techmarines ready a suit of power armor for you since your current one is shot to shit. That and we can’t really have you parading around in Chaos armor when the crusade fleet arrives.”

“Finally some good news. It would be an honor to work in the service of the Emperor once more.”

”It’s good to have you. Just please watch it with the atheism stuff, some Astartes are still like that but it doesn’t fly with most of us.”

“Understood.”




You are bleeding, angry, and barely alive. You and barely a dozen other Incubi managed to escape that disaster of a battle with your lives along with some two hundred kabalites. You’ve retreated some distance from the settlement and established contact with Feanor.

“My lord, I’m sorry to report that we were unable to acquire your trophy from the human.”

”I expected as much.” the holoprojection says, a hint of irritation in the Archon’s voice nonetheless. “Tell me, what happened to dear Fingolfin?”

“He fought the human and injured him severely, but before the final blow could be made he struck some bargain with She Who Thirsts and was possessed by a daemon.”

”I take it he is dead then?”

“You are correct, my lord.”

“Hmm, a pity. Tell me, who is it that I’m speaking with?”

You look around at your fellow warriors and receive nods from all of them. “The new Hierarch, my lord.”

Feanor chuckles. “My my, that didn’t take too long now, did it? Very well then, Hierarch, I hold your sect’s contract completed.”

“My lord?”

”Fingolfin served his purpose. I no longer require your services for this war.”

“Very well my lord. I expect you shall have our payment ready upon our return?”

Feanor smiles and you tense. You know that kind of smug smile. ”Of course. Your payment shall be... forthcoming.”

The holoprojection cuts off and your hand goes for your klaive. The clicking of fresh crystal magazines into their weapons greets you. You look up from your communicator and into the barrels of two hundred splinter rifles. Your lips pull back as you snarl into your helmet.

“Payment in blood then.”




You are Anonymous, formerly of the Emperor’s Children. You now wear the ivory and gold of the Voice of the Emperor Astartes. And wow, these guys really know how to decorate armor.

“Is all this really necessary?” you ask, indicating all the heraldry.

”All Disco Marines have armor personalized to the point of Artificer armor, it would look suspicious if you were the only one with normal armor.” Infernus explains.

“... Disco Marines?”

”Ugh... it is what our chapter was nicknamed.”

“I remember disco. I also remember that it died about a hundred years into the Great Crusade.”

”DO YOU WANT THE ARMOR OR NOT?”

“Alright, alright, calm down, brother.”

”Let’s just evacuate the town.”

You and Infernus’ squad set out to round up the ponies and get them to the center of town where the rubble of the statue had been cleared to make way for a makeshift landing platform for the thunderhawks. As you trek through the town making sure none of the ponies have been left behind you hear a loud cry of “Anon!”

Looking over your shoulder, you see a white unicorn pony and a grey earth pony trotting up the road to you. You lean in close and whisper to Infernus.

'Who are they and why do they look so happy to see me?”

You can practically feel Infernus’ smirk. “Those are your girlfriends, brother.”

“... Please, I beg you, if you ever loved the Emperor, you will tell me that you have a terrible sense of humor.”

”I do, but fortunately I don’t need it here because I couldn’t make this shit up.”

You blanch. “What... what did...?”

”Everything.”

“You mean...”

”Eeyup.”

“Oh Terra... I think I’m going to be sick.”
”And you did it A LOT.”

“Do you have any chaplains? I think I need a chaplain. I really, really need to talk to a chaplain right now.”

”Hey, it’s not so bad, I hear the Ultramarines have a guy who’s half eldar.”

“What the fuck has happened to this galaxy?”

”Better think fast, they’re almost here.”

“FUCK!”

”Anon! Oh my gosh I’m so glad you’re alright after all that! I was worried I wouldn’t get to see you before the evacuation! Oh, and I like the new gear by the way.” the white unicorn somehow manages in a single breath. Completely encased in ivory ceremite as you are, you can only assume that the xeno knows your identity from your new armor which proclaims your name and deeds for all to see. On an unrelated point, you had noticed that “shooting a vile horse-witch in the head” was suspiciously absent from the list. You decide the best course of action that doesn’t involve purging is ignoring.

“I am sorry, tiny horse-witch, you must have me confused with a traitor.” you say as you keep walking.

The two xenos freeze in their tracks and stare at you dumbly as you walk by. You notice Infernus look back at them. “Keep to your rounds, I’ll join you again shortly.”

“Since when do I take orders from you?”

”Since you joined my squad.”

“I am a captain of the Emperor’s Children!”

”So long as you wear the colors you are part of my squad. I am this squad’s sergeant and you will obey my orders.”

“I-”

”I was under the impression that the III Legion took pride in their perfection. Was this kind of insubordination common if one of its vaunted captains acts in such a way?”

Your jaw slams shut and you clutch your bolter to your chest, straightening up and continuing along at full parade march.




You are Discus Infernus and what the fuck are you even doing?

“Vinyl?”

The pony looks up at you, confused. “So do you guys have a guy named Anonymous too or did Anon get a bad case of poison joke?”

Hoo boy. HOOOOOO boy. “This is going to be difficult to explain, but I’ll give you the abridged version because we’re short on time. That wasn’t Anonymous.”

”So you guys have one too? Wow, small galaxy.”

“No, we don’t. The Anonymous you knew... he wasn’t real.”

”Not real? I think you may need to elaborate a little more.” Octavia remarks.

“The Anonymous that you knew, that you thought you knew, was really a daemon possessing the real Anonymous’ body.”

”I’m still completely lost here.” Vinyl says.

“Ten thousand years ago during an event known as the Horus Heresy Anonymous was possessed by a daemon. In that battle a few hours ago Apophis banished the daemon from him and now the real Anonymous is back. Quite simply put the Anon you’ve known this past week was just a puppet. The real Anonymous is back in control and is still coming to terms with his fate.”

”That makes no sense though! Anon... wasn’t real? That’s impossible! We partied together, we jammed together, we went out together! We... we even...”

“I promise to you that I will explain this all at length later, but for now you have to get out of Ponyville.”

She and Octavia share an uncertain look. ”Alright, but find us as soon as this is over and tell us what the hay this is all about.”

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

”Where’d you-”

“Please, I beg you, do not ask.”

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