As Thoendithas stated, the nefarious drow had assumed control of the Hall of the Half-Orcs, a dark, dangerous labyrinth filled with piles of gold and dead ends. A pair of green trolls greeted Spike, Applejack, Sunset and Fluttershy’s arrival onto the Hall’s first level. Spike eliminated them with his Grand Infernal Great Sword (since trolls could only be killed with fire or poison) before they headed down the tunnel to a wider chamber containing an army of dark elves that waited on the other side of a chasm.

Tens of thousands of years ago, the elves were divided, the benevolent ones against the malevolent. The war among elvenkind ended when the good elves (like Sunset’s character) banished their selfish and cruel kin to the subterranean depths. And it was in those lightless caverns that the dark elves built an empire!

The wickedest of elves, drow were seldom seen by the surface world. And because they had been forced to live underground for so long, they couldn’t stand sunlight. All female drow used magic, preferring to throw fireballs or icy spheres from a distance. Up close, they pulled out wicked black blades that could do significant damage. For the most part, female drow were content to cast spell after spell, only occasionally maneuvering to get a better line of attack, whereas male drow attacked in many different ways. When using melee weapons, they closed the gap before attacking. When equipped with crossbows, they moved to get within firing range and ran if a foe tried to approach them. Drow warriors with ranged weapons were especially deadly, as they could fire poison-tipped arrows. If infected, one slowly lost health for several seconds until the poison dissipated.

Applejack sniped the onslaught of dark elves guarding the bridge from afar with her bow and arrows. It was much easier than rushing them, especially since her range was longer than theirs. Between dodging all of the incoming spells and moving across the bridge, firing her bow was tough. The four heroes proceeded slowly across the thin bridge, being careful not to fall into the pit below, battling the drow attempting to halt their progress, until they reached the stone staircase leading down to the second level.

The next level was filled with Helmed Horrors—animated suits of empty plate armor that wielded weapons with an ever-shifting array of magical effects. Like traditional animated suits of armor, they didn’t require air, food, drink or sleep. However, unlike the usual animated armors, these constructs possessed intelligence, the ability to reason, adjust their tactics, and possessed unswerving devotion to their maker that persisted even after the maker’s demise. They served without ambition or emotion, were resistant to magic effects (besides damage), and took half the damage from ranged weapons.

Though it took more magical resources to create a helmed horror than a lesser suit of animated armor, the helmed horror required less direction and maintenance as it carried out its appointed tasks. A helmed horror always followed its orders with completely loyalty, and was intelligent enough to understand the difference between an order’s intent and its exact wording. Unlike many constructs, it sought to fulfill the former rather than slavishly follow the latter.

The helmed horrors fought with the cunning of a skilled warrior, taking to the air as it targeted weaker characters and spell casters first. However, helmed horrors lacked the insight to change their environment, fortify it, or otherwise take active measures to improve their defenses. Vrelok’s work, Spike thought.

Applejack used the central pillars that dotted the halls to provide cover from the crossbow-wielding horrors while she battled the melee attackers. They followed her down the dark corridor to a sharp right turn, into a large chamber full of treasure chests. Sunset reached out to open one, when Spike quickly slapped her hand away.

“Ow!” she cried.

“Get back!” Spike shouted.

Suddenly, the chest attacked! But it wasn’t a chest, it was a mimic!

Mimics were cunning shapeshifting predators able to take on the form of any inanimate object to lure creatures to their doom. They could alter their outward texture to resemble wood, stone, and other basic materials, and they had evolved to assume the appearances of objects that other creatures were likely to come into contact with; most often doors and chests, having learned that such forms attract a steady stream of prey. In their altered form, mimics were nearly unrecognizable until potential prey blundered into their reach, whereupon the monster sprouted pseudopods and attacked.

Half the treasure chests in the chamber were mimics posing as chests. Their positions changed randomly, so Spike and the girls assumed that every chest was an enemy in disguise. Fortunately, they didn’t need to give the mimics the first hit; if Spike stood to the side of the chest when he approached it, the mimic would need to turn before it could attack, giving him time to take the first swing.

They quickly dispatched the mimics and continued on to the door to the treasure room. Using the key he had bought from the dwarf back in Selena’s Gate, Spike unlocked the door, and several drow mages—dark elves who specialized in fireball and poison spells—and four driders came out of the shadowy corners and surrounded them. When a drow failed to pass a test of faith and strength to rise higher in rank, they were transformed into driders—horrid half-drow, half-giant spider hybrids that served as living representatives of their goddess’ dark power. The drow both feared and shunned the driders, holding them in lower esteem than slaves. However, they tolerated the presence of them as a reminder of the fate that awaited all who failed the Spider Queen.

The driders (whose names were Idavos, Ironu, Kerru, and Rixur) wore studded leather armor adorned with spider motifs, and they were led by a white-haired dark elf in all black named Captain Celat.

“Who are you that have come here?” he asked.

“We’re here to stop you from killing the half-orcs,” Spike said.

“Stop us?” Celat laughed. “Whoa! Wrong! Wrong!”

He was quickly silenced by his superior, a female dark elf with high white hair and multiple tattoos.

“So you’re Lady Fauna Silentflyer, the cutest elf?” she inquired.

Fluttershy batted her eyelashes as a butterfly fluttered out of nowhere and landed on her finger.

“You cut that out!” the drow commander snapped. “I don’t know how you got in here, but heads will roll for this, I promise you.” She turned to Captain Celat and added, “Don’t let them escape!”

Celat nodded. In Drow society, the males were subservient to the females; they might lead a patrol or a raiding party (much like Celat did), but they always reported to a woman—either the matron of his house or one of her hand-picked female subordinates.

“I’m sorry to do this,” Celat apologized, “but it’s my job.”

He and his squadron of driders locked Spike and the girls in the treasure chamber, but Fluttershy had a plan.

“Let me handle this,” she said. “Oh, Captain Celat, I would like you to set us free now, please.”

“No can do, pretty missy. I have my orders,” Celat replied.

“Please, let us go,” she said cutely.

“No way, man. Forget it,”

Then Fluttershy started using her feminine wiles on him. Well, it wasn’t so much “feminine wiles” as it was her making her eyes big as a puppy’s, batting her eyelashes at him, and using baby talk.

“Pretty please with whipped cream and a cherry on top?”

“Whoa! You’re cute, man!” Celat said. “You’ve got this whole cute don’t-make-me-stay-in-here thing happening, man!”

“Pwease, wet us out of this cagey-wagey,” she said.

“You’re-You’re working your cuteness on me, man! Your irresistible cuteness! Stop it! Wrong, wrong. Knock it off!”

“Pleasy-squeezy-weezy-weeze?”

“No! No way, man!”

“Pleasy-weasy-weasy-wease,” she said.

Celat tried to cover his eyes, but he couldn’t look away from her.

“Okay, I’ll let you out,” he said as he unlocked the door.

“How can we ever thanky-wanky you?” Fluttershy asked him.

“Don’t! You’re free. Just no more of the thing of cute! We can’t take it!”

“You’re too cute!” the driders all cried.

“Now go!” Celat shouted.

Fluttershy looked at her friends and smirked, “Some elf girls got it, and some elf girls don’t.”

(Don’t try being that cute; she’s a trained professional.)

---

The final level of the Hall was heavily populated by Drow. Fortunately, the spacious main chamber created a lot of enemy crossfire for the girls as they followed Spike through a tight corridor to the well-guarded room at the other end. They crossed the chamber and found the dark elves’ ruthless commander, a drow priestess who wore little more than what looked like a black leather sling bikini... and she had something chained to the wall behind her.

It was the Jade Tiger!

And it wasn’t just a treasure! It was a living, breathing creature!

“You... a Sun elf, a darthirr... you dare attack us? You and the rest of your sun-cursed race of traitors will pay dearly for the deaths you have caused here today,” the priestess said.

“As you will pay for the deaths of the half-orcs, Eradeka,” Sunset replied. “Your attack on the Forbidden Mountains ends here.”

“My attack? You presume much. The half-orcs’ hall was to be ours, but we care nothing for the Forbidden Mountains or your filthy surface cities - those have been promised to others, and they may have them,”

“Promised to others?” Spike asked. “By whom?”

“Can it be that you’ve come all this way without knowing your enemy?” Eradeka answered. “Then it is ignorance that has made you brave.”

“Enough of your words, dark elf,” Spike said. “Prepare to die.”

“You will soon choke on your own screams, intruders. And then I shall offer up your bodies to my goddess,”

“We’ll see about that,” Applejack replied.

“It is you who will perish this day,” Sunset stated.

The priestess snapped her fingers and she was joined by her pet monster. With the hindquarters of a large goat, the forequarters of a lion, and the leathery wings of a dragon, along with the heads of all three of those creatures, it combined the worst aspects of its three parts. Its dragon head drove it to raid, plunder, and accumulate a great hoard. Its leonine nature compelled it to hunt and kill powerful creatures that threatened its territory. And its goat head granted it a vicious, stubborn streak that compelled it to fight to the death.

“Let’s just see how this plays out,” Eradeka told them.

“A Chimera, huh?” Spike asked. “Fuckin’ sweet!”

As soon as Spike charged Eradeka, she started summoning skeletons to fight for her, before casting icy spheres... and the occasional fireball. The girls dodged Eradeka’s magic blasts as they approached the skeletal warriors and retaliated with melee, ranged weapons, and their own spells.

It was a tough boss battle: between her spells and powerful kick attack, Eradeka was much tougher than she appeared. And the only two times the group had a safe shot at the Chimera were when it was taking off and when it landed, but they could do a good deal of damage on the ground without taking much in return if they positioned themselves carefully. While the Chimera was on the ground, they ran circles around it. Every now and then it cast a ball of lightning, which they couldn’t do anything about, and every time Spike got close to Eradeka, she teleported from one side of the chamber to the other.

Spike spat a fireball at her, which missed, but obliterated the chain holding the Jade Tiger in place, and it attacked and dealt the killing blow to the Chimera. Spike finally impaled Eradeka on one of his swords, forcing her to drop her scimitar, as well as several potions, and she disappeared in an explosion of light, leaving only her black leather sling bikini behind.

The Jade Tiger approached Spike and licked his claw as a gesture of gratefulness for being rescued before leading him and the girls to single holding cell next to where it had been chained up. There was a green-skinned, brown-bearded half-orc inside and he was covered in blood.

“Who... who are ye?” he asked.

“We are enemies of the dark elves,” Spike said. “We have defeated their commander and are here to set you free.”

“I... I am Bonm... tell me, are ye of the Harpers?”

“Yes, we are,” Fluttershy replied. “Are you one of their agents as well?”

“Aye. I was their eyes and ears in the Forbidden Mountains. There was... something stirring within the mountains, organizing the gnolls, the ogres... then the dragon appeared,”

“We have fought them, though the dragon eluded us,” said Sunset. “What do you know of these forces?”

“I know little... but the fact the dark elves are working with them is a cause for worry... whatever leads this army, it must be powerful to have such troops as allies,” Bonm said. “I heard the drow speak often of their plans... their goal was to exterminate my tribe’s settlement in the forest, in order to protect the movements of the gnolls and ogres in the mountains. In exchange for their help, they were promised the Hall and all within it.”

“The drow killed the half-orcs so the gnolls and ogres could move freely?” Fluttershy asked.

“Aye aye... though I know not why. They care nothing for the gnolls and ogres. I had been searching for the source of the troubles in the region when the drow struck the Hall,” Bonm explained.

“We came from Selena’s Gate,” Spike said. “Alden sent us to find and acquire a treasure from the Hall.” He motioned to the Jade Tiger. “It could be someone intended to move the gnoll and ogres troops through the White Tail Woods and attack the city.”

“A treasure? I... I heard the drow speak of a treasure, but it was the Razor of Masculinity,” Bonm replied. “If my hunch proves true, then the Razor may lie within a cave just outside of Plunder Cove. Finding yer way to it may prove to be a trick, but ye should be able to reach it from the swamp there.”

“We’ll head to Plunder Cove and look for the Razor,” Applejack said. “I’m starting to think the danger to Selena’s Gate and the Realms may be greater than we first thought.”

“I fear ye right, friends, I fear ye right... Well, let us squander no more time talkin’ of it. If Alden believes that these treasures will work against the beast that’s stalking us, then ye must recover the Razor and find the out the exact nature of this threat,” Bonm said.

“We will,” Spike replied.

“What about you?” Fluttershy asked.

“Don’t worry about my wounds,” Bonm told her. “Give me a while to regain my strength and I’ll make my way to the surface soon enough.”

“Farewell,” Spike told him.

The girls each shared a bit from their recall potions so that Spike could teleport with them, and they returned to the grove with the Jade Tiger, where they found the pixies, shadow goblins and half-orcs packing up the camp.

“Garbuncle, word of your success had already reached our ears! Even now, my clan makes their way to the Hall. Soon, the Wolfswift name will be sung with honor once more,” said Thoendithas. “Clopgeddin has truly blessed us this day. You have done me and my people a great service, Dragonborn. You have reversed our fortunes, and we shall never forget it. You are a true Hero of the Half-Orcs, and I am proud to name you my clan-brother.”

Spike smiled as Thoendithas went on. “War is upon us, Garbuncle. As the Storm King’s power grows our strength wanes, this you know. Eventually, his forces will outnumber the people of Selena’s Gate. You need more men.”

Spike frowned. “There are none.”

“There are creatures that dwell in the swamp just outside of Plunder Cove,”

“The Yuan-ti!” Spike breathed. “Serpent folk! You would ask me to call upon them?” he asked. “They plot to dominate all other races and make themselves gods. They answer to no one.”

“They will answer to the one who wields this!” Thoendithas produced an object from his cloak. “Take it, and with it, know you have the thanks and reverence of the entire Wolfswift Clan!”

It was a thick yet elegant blade forged of purple steel with an emerald embedded into the hilt of the silver handle.

“That sword’s a Dragonslayer!” Sunset exclaimed.

That was the gnarliest weapon in existence!

“A Dragonborn who can wield the power of this sword can summon to him an army more powerful than any that walks this earth,” Thoendithas said. “Including any and all allies that his party has made along their journeys.”

Spike suddenly took Thoendithas’ hand in both of his great dragon claws, knelt down upon the rough ground of the forest, and bowed humbly over the half-orc chief’s hand.

“You have my eternal gratitude, Thoendithas. Thank you,” Spike said. “We also found Bonm within the Hall. He told us the Drow were looking to collect the Razor of Masculinity.”

“Bonm’s alive!” Thoendithas exclaimed. “Thrice-blessed are we. The Razor, eh? I’d heard something of it from Bonm before, but I didn’t think it linked to our troubles... If you go searching for it, be careful; more dangerous beasts than wolves and yeti lair there.”

“Thanks for the warning,” Applejack said. “Farewell.”

Using his magic, Vrelok cast a spell on Spike, the girls, Sandra the wolf, Elizabeth the chicken, and the Jade Tiger that sent them all back to Selena’s Gate. As they returned to the Singing Siren, they couldn’t help but agree that it had been quite a day. It was sunny, followed by a blizzard, and it ended up sunny again... but they made it back alive!

“Few ever return from the depths of the Halls of the Half-Orcs, and with the Jade Tiger, besides. Well done. Here is your reward,” Alden said as he handed over two million gold; fighting monsters kind of pay.

After they received their reward from Alden, Sunset returned to Horus at the Church of Celeste.

“Welcome back, Sistine. The church received news of Black Ice’s defeat at your hands; you truly stand tall in the eyes of Celeste. Are you prepared to serve her as a knight of the temple?”

“Yes, I am,” she said.

“So be it! Be vigilant. Protect the weak, poor, injured, and young, and do not sacrifice them for others or yourself. Demonstrate excellence and purity of loyalty in your role as guardian and protector,”

“My thanks, Horus. I will bring the glory of Celeste to all the Realms,”

“You have many new abilities at your disposal now, Sistine Sextus; train well. I knew when you were a young girl in training, just as I know now: you will become a hero unlike any other,’”

“Farewell, Horus. May Celeste watch over you,” she said.

---

Spike and the girls awoke the next morning feeling refreshed after their mission into the Forbidden Mountains. They helped themselves to scrambled eggs, bacon and buttered toast before making their way to the port, where Captain Thrash was waiting for them at his ship.

“Morning,” he greeted them. “Are you ready to part for Plunder Cove? I should warn you, the place is infested with monsters. Swallow you whole. And piranha, too. I knew a fella, tried to swim it last year. They picked him clean in 20 seconds, no, I lie, it was ten. Clean to the bone. And then there’s snakes and other reptiles, serpent folk...”

“Looks like your boat’s the only way,” Spike said. “Did you put the sign at the fork to make sure you got plenty of business?”

“No, I put it there as a warning to strangers. The other way is even more dangerous. None return who go that way,”

“Don’t tell me, let me guess. More monsters,” Discord ventured.

“Worse. Ghouls, fiends, giant eels that suck you down into the mud. Writhing things, wolves the size of horses, and satyrs,”

Spike, Discord, Big Mac, Applejack, Sunset, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Starlight and Twilight all boarded Thrash’s ship.

“And what was your name?” Thrash directed at Fluttershy. “I believe I saw you in the town square the other day.”

“I’m Lady Fauna Silentflyer,” she said.

“Wait, you’re the druid who defeated a Cockatrice using only your little finger,” Thrash replied. “It’ll be great to have someone like you onboard.”

Once the crew weighed anchor and set the sails, Thrash called Spike’s party into his cabin for a private talk.

“Alden has reason to believe that the Dark Web is planning something big,” Thrash shared. “I’m not sure what exactly, but it has to do with the magic items he’s been asking you to retrieve.”

“You’ve run into the Dark Web before?” Sunset asked.

“I’m not positive they were part of the Dark Web, but they definitely did mention the four treasures,” Thrash said. “I’m only hypothesizing, but they might have been members who dropped out of the organization and had gone into hiding. Perhaps they wanted no part of whatever it is that’s coming. If the Dark Web is known for anything, it’s the fact that they don’t want their plans getting out.”

“So these treasures are so bad that they scare even dark wizards?” Discord inquired.

“What do you think they’re gonna try?” Fluttershy asked.

“Let me start over,” Thrash replied. “A few days ago, I was sailing back to Selena’s Gate when I stopped at a pub in Shallowpond that I knew was a gathering spot for local criminals.”

As Thrash was enjoying his drink at the bar, he overheard a group shouting from one of the nearby tables. A humanoid feline was among them.
“Come on, hurry up, bartender!”

“Hey, calm down!”

“And how am I supposed to do that? We finally managed to figure out where the Razor is, but we can’t do anything because of some seal?”

“Keep your voice down,”

“Don’t worry, boys,” the cat-man said. “Let me handle this one.”

“You sure you’re gonna be okay on your own, Capper?”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” he grinned. “Just tell Catrina that I’ll be coming back with the Razor of Masculinity in three days.”

Spike, Discord, Big Mac and the girls stared at Thrash in stunned silence. Capper was one of the well-dressed felines back at Broodmare Manor. He was going after the Razor of Masculinity... and that fact that it had been sealed away meant that it was very powerful magic.

“You sure the guys you saw at the pub are with the Black Network?” Sunset asked Thrash.

“No doubt,” the pirate captain answered. “I can’t believe I was such a fool. How could I have been so careless? I didn’t recognize the names at first, but Capper and Catrina... If I had recognized their names, I could have forced them to reveal their plan to me!”

“So, let me get this straight,” Spike said. “The Dark Web’s planning to do something with these four treasures and we have to stop them because after what you overheard you’re sure it’s going to be something bad.”

“Aye,” Thrash replied. “And I’m not foolish enough to believe that I can take on an entire evil organization all by myself. That’s why I’m offering you my help. Whatever happens, you have my support.”

Suddenly, Trash’s bosun entered the cabin.

“Captain, we’re coming up on Plunder Cove,” he said.

Thrash nodded and Spike and company joined him on deck.

“I will protect your wolf and chicken while you go ashore,” he told Fluttershy. “It’s no place for animals.”

“Thank you,” she said.

Spike and his party entered one of the longboats and Big Mac rowed them the rest of the way to shore. Thick fog hung over the rocky area as Discord led them, wandering through the haze.

“I know we went this way, and-and we crossed--Oh, b-b-but then I--I lost my way over--And if I don’t--But I know that--” he said, looking at the map.

“Do you have any idea where we are?” Spike asked.

“No,” Discord said, almost mournfully. “I don’t know where we are, and where we aren’t. And I haven’t known for hours. I’ve failed us all.”

Spike placed a hand on Discord’s shoulder.

“I believe I have as well,” he said.

“Let’s face it,” Pinkie told them. “Without hope, we don’t have a chance of getting out of here.”

Rainbow Dash and the rest of the girls nodded in agreement. Wearing a sad expression, Spike stepped away from the group and spotted a cave entrance.

“Perhaps we might rest in there until this mist clears,” he suggested.

One by one, they agreed and headed for the cavern.

---

Deep in the cave, Discord, Big Mac, Applejack, Sunset, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Starlight, and Twilight laid on the ground near the campfire embers. Rarity smiled as she slept against Discord’s side. Twilight slept alone by a rock with her cloak pulled up over her chest, shivering beneath its thin material. Rolling over, she contorted her body to fit under the cloak. Applejack, Sunset, Fluttershy and Pinkie all jolted awake and glared at Starlight, who was snoring and murmuring in her sleep.

“I’ve tried to find you, Mother,” they heard Spike say.

“I know, Spike. I’m sorry. You’d have found her by now if I hadn’t--” Applejack said. “Spike?”

They spotted Spike standing outside the cave, in the dark, bare-chested, all alone, and wide awake, wandering up a nearby ridge, looking at the stars.

“I’ve looked all the places you weren’t. I just can’t find the place you are. I only know that you are where I am not. And where am I? I wish you were here to tell me,” he thought out loud. “Perhaps, if I were to wish very, very hard...”

He stopped at a tree on a ledge, stared up at the hazy sky, and started singing a lullaby he remembered his mother sang to him when she was still alive.

As he sang, he made several movements with his arms and snow flew from his fingertips. The moon came out and Spike spotted a cloud shaped like a woman. He danced with it until it disappeared along with the fog. When Spike stopped singing, he fell asleep against the tree and Applejack, Sunset, Fluttershy and Pinkie coiled around him to share their warmth as he slept. Shivering, they looked up at the night sky and dozed off.

Yawning and stretching, Rainbow Dash walked out of the cave. She hadn’t gone far when she came to a stop. Turning around, she screamed, waking the others. They all drew their weapons and were at her side in an instant. And that’s when they saw what had frightened her: five humanoid creatures with snake-like heads, malisons, emerged from the swamp. The malisons were a hideous blend of human and serpentine (more human, with arms and legs); they formed the middle caste of the yan-ti. They hunted with arrows tipped with their own venom and they used their magical powers of suggestion to force their enemies’ surrender.

And they were led by a creature that could be best described as an abomination. A monstrous serpent with a burly humanoid torso and arms, it and other similar creatures possessed the highest status of yan-ti society, and they most closely resembled the race as the serpent gods intended. This one had blue scales, golden eyes, a hood like a cobra, and a snakelike tail in place of its legs.

“Who dares enter the domain of Teskih?” he hissed.

“One who will have your allegiance,” Spike answered.

“None command me!”

The abomination drew his scimitar and it locked with Spike’s Dragonslayer.

“The Eradicator!” he hissed.

Spike threw Teskih back but both men kept their swords drawn.

“I am Garbuncle, Son of the Serpent. Fight for me, and I will give you and your people a chance to take this world for your own... What say you?”

The snake folk remained silent.

“What say you?!” he demanded.

Teskih lowered his blade. “Why have you come here?”

“We seek the Razor of Masculinity,” Spike stated.

Teskih sheathed his scimitar and slithered away, motioning for Spike and his party to follow him. He led them to a cave that was sealed with a great sheet of ice.

“In there,” Teskih stated.

“Thank you,” Spike told him. “You will be called upon at a later date to help me, and you will answer.”

“Assuming you survive,” the serpent abomination replied.

And he and his five malison soldiers disappeared back into the swamp.

---

Formed of a series of straightforward tunnels, the ice cave stood between the eleven heroes and the Razor of Masculinity. But Spike didn’t expect the monsters to match the simplicity of the area. They would face several new beasts, the first of which were pesky, freezing-cold winter wolves. They were similar to their normal counterparts, but were tougher, faster, and boasted a frozen breath attack that could leave enemies slowed down and almost helpless against more powerful, dangerous adversaries. Nevertheless, classic wolf-slaying tactics were still effective. They avoided the wolves’ frozen breath and melee attacks by countering with hit-and-run techniques and long-range attacks with bows and spells.

Several corridors branched from the main path and split into eleven different routes, each of which was infested with packs of winter wolves looking for a fight.

“Now which way do we go?” Fluttershy asked.

“I guess we’ll have to split up,” Spike said.

And so they did. They had plenty of time to get used to battling the winter wolves, since this level was basically just one long wolf brawl. There were no keys or switches to worry about; they just had to fight their way to the end. They proceeded cautiously through the icy tunnels, as to not alert other monsters in the vicinity. They never knew when they might turn a corner to find another coming at them. The heroes cleared out all the passages and came together again in a wide rectangular cavern where the eleven paths reconnected. They approached the pool in the center of the cavern and a pair of displacer beasts emerged from the water.

Resembling pumas covered in blue-black fur, the displacer beasts’ otherworldly origins were clear in their six legs and the two barbed tentacles sprouting from their shoulders. Displacer beasts were monstrous predators with the ability to bend light around their bodies, rendering them invisible, and thus making it difficult to determine exactly where they were until they attacked. Adventurers were advised to hold their attacks until a displacer beast was almost upon them, or else they were in danger of striking empty air. Displacer beasts killed not just for food, but also for sport; and they hunted just as well alone as they did in small prides (which demonstrated great skill at setting ambushes). However, their invisibility could be negated by walking in water – doing so, one would be able to spot ripples in the water as the invisible displacer approached. The gang encountered additional displacer beasts in the next tunnel, and they made sure to eliminate all of the displacers before moving on. They didn’t want the monsters nipping at their heels when they met up with their next adversary... a frost giant that barricaded the final chamber of the ice cave.

Frost giants made their homes in frozen, snow-covered lands across the realms and survived by hunting and raiding the surrounding areas for slaves and food. They kind of looked like dwarves... if you can imagine dwarves towering more than twice the height of a human. Frost giants were incredibly strong and quick to use their brute force to solve any problem they came across. Up close, they swung massive axes that did painful amounts of damage. At a distance, they lobbed giant ice boulders that would slow opponents down as well as do a fair amount of harm. Because of the harsh realities of their environment, frost giants were immune to cold attacks; but because of that, fire-based attacks did an additional 50% damage.

Discord fired flaming arrows at the frost giant while the bulk of the party danced around it. It was pretty effective, since the frost giant was pretty slow and relatively easy to attack from behind. Sunset’s fireballs worked wonders, but it was difficult for her to aim while dodging ice boulders. The frost giant brought his axe down upon Spike, but Spike caught the blade between his claws. The blade started to glow red hot and bits of it fell off and into Spike’s open mouth.

“Is he melting the blade... with just his body heat?” Applejack asked.

Spike spat the melted bits of metal back at the frost giant, hitting it in its eyes, blinding it. It took a lot of her magical energy, but Sunset finished the giant off with a lightning bolt, and they entered the final chamber of the ice cave.

Diamonds glittered like stars across the cavern, and the Razor of Masculinity was straight ahead, on a huge altar in the center of the room, but it was protected by a powerful creature: Ciraxis, the white dragon that stirred awake by the signal fire Applejack and Sunset lit on the peak in the Forbidden Mountains.

White dragons were often found in extremely cold environments, making their lairs in icy caverns safe from the rays of the sun. And even though they were the smallest, least intelligent, and most animalistic of dragons, they were fearsome opponents. Not only could they bite and claw for horrendous amounts of damage, but they also had the ability to breathe a cone of frost, freezing their opponents solid and rendering them helpless. Driven by hunger and greed, they lacked the cunning and tactics of other dragons. However, their bestial nature made them the best hunters among all dragonkind, and they had extraordinary memories. They recalled every slight and defeat, and were infamous to conduct malicious vendettas against creatures that had offended them. And Ciraxis had 1,500 Hit Points, an Armor Class of 29, and an immunity to cold.

Ciraxis hovered around his lair as jagged ice shards and boulders fell from the cavern ceiling. When he finally landed, Sunset used her Fire Shield, Fireball and Burning Hands spells on him before she summoned a magic sword out of thin air! After she landed a few hits, she made a few gestures with her hands, and the sword became a spear! A few more hits, and the spear turned into twin swords! The gang had never seen anyone be able to reequip as fast as Sunset could... and she was just getting warmed up! Suddenly, her skirt and breastplate disappeared and were replaced by a midriff-baring suit of armor that further enhanced her abilities. Applejack and Discord hung back and attacked Ciraxis with arrows enchanted with fire while Big Mac used his Bull Rush as a hit-and-run attack. Fortunately, Ciraxis’ ice attacks had no effect on Spike or Sunset, and they cut through him like tissue paper.

“You listen up!” Spike shouted. “I consider every creature my friend! Whether it’s the druids and centaurs of the forests, the dwarves and half-orcs of the mountains, or even those perverted pixies and horny she-elves! They’re all my friends! And that’s why... I’m not leaving without them!!!!”

While Ciraxis was distracted, Lady Applesmith and Captain Wuzz both fired two enchanted arrows simultaneously, and all four pierced the dragon’s wings, pinning it to the wall behind it. Spike ran up the side of the cavern wall, pulled out the Dragonslayer, leapt into the air and cut off Ciraxis’ head.

As soon as Spike grabbed the Razor of Masculinity, he and his team were magically transported back to Selena’s Gate.

“I heard the Plunder Cove affair was bloody,” Alden said. “But no matter; you’ve recovered the Razor of Masculinity just the same. As promised, your reward. Rest now, but meet me back here tomorrow morning. There is still much work to be done.”

As the heroes turned in for the night, Fluttershy couldn’t help but wonder, “I wonder if we’ll ever be put into songs or tales.”

“What?” Spike asked.

“I wonder if children will ever say: ‘Let’s hear about Garbuncle and the Four Treasures.’ And they’ll say, ‘Yes! That’s my favorite!’ ‘Garbuncle was really courageous, wasn’t he, Dad?’ ‘Aye, son, the most famous of Dragonborn, and that’s saying a lot,’”

“You’ve left out one of the main characters: Lady Fauna Silentflyer the Brave. I want to hear more about her,” Spike replied. “Garbuncle wouldn’t have gotten out of the Forbidden Mountains without her.”

“Now, Spike, don’t make fun of me,” Fluttershy said. “I was being serious.”

“So was I, Fluttershy. So was I,”

“‘Lady Fauna Silentflyer the Brave,’” she thought with a smile. “I like the sound of that.”

---

Meanwhile, across the Realms, Tempest Shadow reported to the Storm King on her agents’ findings.

“The Harpers worked quickly, Your Highness,” she said. “Already they have acquired four suitable Treasure Keys, though the Dark Web still hounds them mercilessly.”

“Ah, everything is falling into place so neatly,” the Storm King smiled. “A little too neatly, perhaps, but I won’t complain further. Tempest.”

“Yes, Your Highness?”

“Inform our allies in the East of our progress, and prepare to activate the Crystal Heart! Soon, the Realms will know a true King!”

Next Chapter: Ogres & Oubliettes: Dark Alliance, Act VI Estimated time remaining: 6 Hours, 53 Minutes