4.1
Well this could be considered a find. It certainly was different from all the other junk she found throughout all the other houses. More and more of this crap that could be used for the fire, but maybe she could spare this stuff. She considered this staring at the item she held aloft before her face with just the faintest hint of her magic. It surprised her to find it and how familiar it was.

Another little pony doll. Much like the one Soul had found. That lonely little Pegasus she found hidden away in a box. Finally finding a friend in Soul. Blight wondered if that tiny Pegasus still kept her company. Give her some semblance of having a friend. Something to help her make it through the day.

This pony doll on the other hoof, left behind in this bleak and dark house, a lot different. Because the box it was in actually held dozens of them. Somepony had a hobby. Even if they were… kinda amateurs at this, I still wonder who it was that used to live here. What kind of time did they have on their hooves to do this and why did they do this? Was it actually a hobby or practice for something more? Perhaps they did it for a nicer reason. That very Pegasus may have been built by the pony who made these, a gift perhaps for some child who meant something to them.

Blight tossed and turned the pony, examining it all around. Given light for her to see thanks to the hole she cut into the ceiling. It really is the best way to get into these houses. She could see a lot of it. Very small pebbles used as eyes fastened tightly into the sides of its head that actually shined a little in the light. All the countless fibers well woven into place to give the impression of facial features on it including a cute little smile. Even well-trimmed patches of fur attached to it to make a mane and tail. No wings. Not like Soul’s. This was shaped into an Earth pony. Even some unicorns in the box. Strange… no pegasi. Weird.

I wonder what was wrong with whoever made these. Why no pegasi? Only the one Soul had. Oh well. This collection was good enough. They made her smile for once. It felt good to smile again. Days passing by with nothing but sadness. A sadness in her and even more. I still feel the pain in my heart. In Soul’s heart. Not one moment passing by where it stopped, and all the happiness she could tell happened on the outside beyond the snow. Happiness Soul longed to be a part of. I can’t bring it back.

How happy Rainbow Dash was out there only broken by those brief moments in the night when that rainbow-maned filly sadly cried under her blanket.

4.2
Maybe these little dolls could bring a little happiness to Soul. Ha, I bet she would love them. Act like such a kid with them. So far-fetched but it was nice to believe in such a fantasy. How Soul used to be. That extremely happy and carefree filly laughing and smiling at things I never thought were even interesting. Training. Food. Exploring. But there was a certain charm to it all. Just how happy stuff like that could make a child. Blight loved every moment of it. If only she could find some way to bring it all back. Seeing that little, happy version of Soul playing with these tiny ponies. Even if she would not do that in front of others, but someday being comfortable enough to want to be her true self around me. If ever. A beautiful dream.

She placed the doll she held back inside the box, sifting through all the unicorns and Earth ponies. So many of them. It really is incredible how… wait, I found one! A Pegasus at last. She had to pull it out from under all the other ponies. Huh, not that special. It was… just another Earth pony. Those wings it had were the only real difference between this one and the Earth ponies. Except, this one did have considerably large wings. Held up by wires to give the impression of it flying.

Flying like Soul.

Happily gliding through the air with nothing to weigh her down. If only she could fly like that again. Be free and doing everything she loved to do. Blight would do it all with her. …In some fantasy world where they could be friends. That was all Blight could do. Bringing another hidden Pegasus doll up from the box, holding it next to the other. Seeing that fantasy in the eyes of these two pegasi. One with large wings, the other with small ones. Both side by side together with a smile on their faces. Happy to see one another with no more hate. She could listen closely to it all. Looking at both these pegasi. I hear it. Laughter. She could hear the little laughter of a filly alongside that of a mare. A mare laughing in a voice she knew.

I wish I could laugh right now about. Just like I would if that dream could come true. How did Rainbow Dash say it? She recalled. A good interpretation for it all like how these fillies talked.

“That would be so awesome.”

Blight laughed at herself for saying that. A world under a glistening light where all was happy for her and for Soul. Why could it not exist like it should? Asking it to the happy world that shined bright in the beady eyes that stared back at her.

4.3
Soul could see the entirety of her world shining back at her. She saw this world all about her every single day but there was something different about seeing it in a reflection. Seeing her own face surrounded by the darkest and most dreary of surroundings with nopony around her. Only the darkness around her. She hated seeing this world. Where the only bright thing in it was the red of her eyes staring at her. Just a sea of blood surrounding her big, black pupils and they don’t shine anymore.

Why are they so red all the time? I’ve never seen them this bad. Maybe because I don’t want to sleep anymore. Haven’t slept for days now. Spending all the dark hours of the night sitting in her bed. Fed up with everything, and the days being much of the same.

She had not seen Blight in a while. What could she be doing? That roof she liked to inhabit remained empty every time she looked. Maybe she left. It wouldn’t surprise her. That would be best for the black Pegasus. She doesn’t need to worry about me. Everypony doesn’t need to worry about me. She turned her hooves. Her reflection grew longer. Better room to see her entirety and how greatly miserable she could now admit without hesitation that she looked.

“Wow… I look like crap.” Saying that actually made her giggle a little. She wanted to keep laughing. Force it out as hard as possible. It was a long laugh. Long and… it hurt. Her throat burned just to laugh. Just to speak. Hurt to laugh over nothing. Well aware she actually was not happy but it felt a little like something to know she was still capable of laughing. What if Dashie sees me like this? That would be something. Maybe she would laugh about it. Like I look like I just flew through a storm or something. At least then she’d put a smile on another pony’s face. But she was not. Oh how to make them all happy.

She looked back up to face the dark wall she set herself in front of. Tapping the hooves of her hind legs against it and joining that sound with that of her forelegs falling like logs on the floor, and she sat there. Staring. Bringing her hooves up once more before her and holding them close. She wouldn’t let go. I can’t let go of it.

Just listen. The sound it made as she ran a hoof over the thing she held. A little ping and a scrape. Ringing in her ears. I can’t get enough of it. I’ll never let it go. Holding it firmly between her hooves. She wondered if she should look at it again.

See her reflection in its edge.

She could laugh at herself again but, then again, all it would be was just an ugly and broken little Pegasus who needed her friends.

4.4
That was the entire point of it. I need them. I want them so badly. But they don’t need me. None of them, not Dashie, not Celestia or Blight. Nopony needed her. It was the truth. Why else does nopony try to make me happy? They only leave me.

All that time she spent with Dash coming in and leaving so fast like the wind, exactly what it was: the wind. It was not meant to last. I just hope Dash is at least happy now without me. Just like mom was when she left me. Along with Blight. Blight could move on and be happy without Soul on her mind, much like what she wished. They could all be happy. Soul wondered if Dash had new friends now. Were they pegasi or maybe she ventured out to other places and met new ponies? If they were pegasi, they were in for a rough ride, haha. Dash will probably challenge them to racing. No pony could ever surpass her in flight. No pony can ever be as good… as her.

I once thought I would be a pony worth her time. I used to be great. Now look at me. I was supposed to be strong, strong! For what? Strong enough to take all this? No. Dash was the strong pony. No matter what happened, Dash always found a way to surpass everything and prove herself to be successful. It was in her nature.

I never want her to know disappointment again. Feel she let others down even when they assured her that she had not, and I was the one who promised to be there for her. …Why did Dash never tell me how much of a burden I was on her all this time? She only needed to say something and Soul would gladly leave… leave her to be happy without her and be successful. Leave for every pony to be happy without her. Free from her mistakes, from her stupidity. Free from this weak pony.

They were all free now and I want to be happy for them. They deserved it, I don’t. It was the right thing for her to give any sacrifice to make them happy, …but it still hurt too much. All these days going by, disappearing in the blink of an eye leaving so much pain inside her and it never stopped. It hurt. Everything hurt. All these happy ponies in the world not troubled by her, leaving me alone.

If only it could be different.

She wanted to feel happy for them. With everything that had happened. All the heartache she left behind which was made right with her leaving. I still… would like to know one last time what it is like to have a true friend.

That calming touch.

4.5
Soul raised her hooves. Her eyes came down, doing everything in her power not to look at herself. Prying deep into the crystal-like thing she held. She gently glided the tip of her hoof along its side, careful not make any mistake and hurt herself. She was already in too much pain. Glancing around and over the many spider webbed cracks along its entire surface. Whatever struck this really did so very hard to cause so much destruction to this and every other that fell from the destroyed mirror. All the tiny pieces left laid strewn on the ground surrounding the few that actually were still whole. Of which, this was the largest one.

A thick sliver of glass near as long as her leg, tipped in jagged corners where it failed to hold onto the other pieces when the mirror was destroyed and many other spiny curves and thin cuts along its long edges. It sure looked sharp. Sharp enough to have caught her attention. Examining it for hours, turning it about in her hooves watching as the light from the fire shone like starlight on the edges and cast faint lines of light about the house. Touching and poking at it with a fascination for how strong this large chunk of glass was. It really was strong.

It felt sharp.

Confident it could easily cut. She could even imagine it being capable of being used to cut a cake. Like those big knives that would cut my birthday cake. What nice times. They were such small moments, but now… now I really miss them. They always made me laugh… and smile. It was not till now that she realized she never actually deserved those moments.

Remembering it, staring at this massive shard of glass, all she could see was one tiny glimmer of light as everything went blank. The wind outside, it stopped. Just looking at that shine in… in the glass. In the… blade.

I don’t feel afraid. It was all gone. I can see it. Haha, my birthday just as I wished it. So bright. Happy. With ponies there to finally be there with me. Oh how would it be like?

It would be her mother who would cut the cake. A father to give her the plate and pet the top of her head. …A sister… to play with her and be by her side at all times. Funny, I never thought like this before. Never imagined this. Me with a mom and dad, sure. A sister? I… I never thought about a sister before. Not till she looked into the gleam in the glass. A sister, a best friend. Closest pony who came to that was… Rainbow Dash. No, that wouldn’t happen. Never. She’s not a sister to me. She would never treat me like family. I want somepony to see me… as their family. Who would love me.

Wasn’t that my wish?

4.6
“Would that pony actually love me?” Whoever it would be. She would never know and that hurt more than anything else. Does my mom love me, wherever she is? Did Dash? I really wish I knew. Please be here to let her know she was special. Even if everypony hated her, even if they wanted nothing to do with her and would rather leave her all alone with nothing to hold on to, she still wanted them to at least let her know if she had any worth. If they could at least look past her countless faults and see a truly special little Pegasus who only wanted to be told one thing.

Am I a good pony?

I’m tired of feeling pathetic and useless. That really was the story of her life. “I would still love them” she whispered. Her head lowered. Soul felt her tears coming down. Tears falling into a damp puddle set in the carpet that had plenty of time to build up. She wanted to lay down. I want to go to sleep. Find some world out there that is better than this. As good as the one I lost. Something in my dreams. Where it was warm and nice. No more pain and loneliness. No more knowing that I am a failure. How I want it.

She held still. Feeling something cold against her throat. So cold. As cold as this land. But… warm. Was it warm because of the glow of the fire inside it? She couldn’t understand it yet, somehow, it felt comforting. Like a hoof rubbing under her chin. So, perhaps it would be like this in the end. A nice and comforting feeling left as all she could feel. It would feel better in the end. Just like in her nightmare. I won’t feel lonely or sad anymore.

No more heartache.

No longer being alone.

Just like Celestia said. I really won’t feel it. Just some brief moments of darkness and then… finally that little moment of relief. Nothing more to care about. Celestia was right, and when it was all over… I’ll feel happy.

So happy.

Soul felt that cold push into her throat. So smooth against her skin.

…I will not be sad anymore. Like I always wanted. But… I was never strong enough to do this. Never strong enough to do what is right. I hurt Nimbus, Starry, so many ponies. I hurt Soulblight. I hurt… Dashie.

I won’t make anypony sad anymore. Just like mom wanted.

How odd, it did not hurt.

I can’t feel it. Just… the cold. The smooth cold touching against her fur. Tugging her skin. An icy chill to her beautiful skin. She could feel it all against her skin. No matter how hard I push it… I don’t feel anything else. I never knew what it would be like to do this. I never thought of it. Because for so long… I never thought I would feel so… so sad.

I never… ever knew what it would be like…

…to die.

4.7
Celestia said I won’t feel lonely anymore. She would be happy… finally!

All the ponies could move on. They had to move on. I won’t be around to hurt them again. I won’t feel terrible for it again. There would be no more pain. It made her smile at the thought. Feeling something warm touch down against her hooves. Like water running in a thin trickle along her skin under a light rain. She wanted to see. See what was happening. Am I right? Will I never feel pain again? Just a glance. To see what she had done. To see she really had done it.

So much red. Tiny little streams driving paths along the shard she now saw. The shard planted under her chin. Red flowing along that shard, like a river. Dripping down upon the carpet below. Join with all her tears.

I’m bleeding.

It… was happening. The same blood I used to see so often. Ha, I’m pretty used to hurting myself… and then ponies would help me recover. Such good times. Everything always turned out good in the end when that happened. It all would work in the end now as well.

Soul pushed a little more. She could feel more. Something… inside her. Under her chin. …Just like they all wanted. No more pain…

So… why am I still so sad?

She could not stop crying. Even if this was the right thing for her to do, it was too much. She felt too sad. That feeling she wanted to get rid of. I just need to try hard and it will all be over. All the sadness would fade and die. Everything that made her cry would do the same. Like the greatest pain she had in her heart. Bursting harder and stronger than any other pain she could dare to feel. I know what is is.

Regret.
Her final feeling left. The last regret that I have left. Rainbow Dash.

If Dashie doesn’t want to see me, doesn’t want to love me… I want to at least see her as my best friend one last time. Tell her how very sorry I am for hurting her and not being the friend she needs. One last farewell. Just one last moment for our friendship.

I… want to hold her one last time. One final hug.

Together, for so long. Like nothing else was there. Never feeling cold. Never feeling alone. That is what I want to feel one last time… one last time. And I’ll never feel it again. Soul cried.

Her hooves pushed the blade in a little more. Just a little more… just a little more… and it will be over. Get rid… of this pain. Go away. Like all the blood streaming along her fur. Blood staining patches of the fur on her legs. All that was left of that fur she loved. Her beautiful wings. There for me since the start. The only things I had… but could not live up to what I wanted them to be. To be that symbol for all pegasi… no more.

I can’t live up to my dream. A lonely Pegasus… can never prove to others that she can overcome anything. Because I can’t. That dream died long ago. Long ago. My wings. My dream. My life.

Goodbye.

One more push. So many tears. So hard to whisper the words she had left. I regret never being able to tell them to you.

Soul smiled.

“I… I… love you, …Dashie.”

4.8
“I love you too, best bud.”

4.9
I thought I was awake.

All this time. Another dream. All the skies. All the towns. All the forests. Each one different from the last and always ending the same way. Could this be it? Another ending to a world unknown. Another one to mock her, to make her feel worse than she ever did when she would finally woke up. Soul wanted to believe that was the case. For this entire icy world to be simply another nightmare ending as it always did. With her, of all ponies, here to… make me feel worse. To hurt me.

But it did not come. She had heard it. Plain as day. From a pony behind her. In a voice she longed to hear say the very words that made her ears tingle. Like a cool breeze washing over the tiniest of furs lining her ears. Tickling and soothing in a way that only she could do. With those words.

It can’t be.

All it took to make Soul stop.

She looked down upon the shard coated in thin blood, slowly wandering away from her. Clasped between her hooves and shaking. All the pain that did not exist, only the feeling of the soft carpet on her rear… and another growing deep inside her. This can’t be real. When was the last time somepony said that to me?

That they love me.

It felt so long. It felt too good to be true. A wish of hers told… by the very pony she loved. She turned around.

Rainbow Dash.

4.10
Like the eyes of an angel that made Soul hold her breath. Staring. Looking deep, not able to look away from those glowing eyes. Wrapped in the shimmer of a bed of tears growing beneath those magenta orbs, her eyes… a sea in a sunset. Blinking. Watching Soul. From where they stood… across the room. In the door that let in the icy wind… yet nothing stopped the pony over there. Nothing stopping that pony from walking to her.

A little smile on her face.

Every step swaying that tail she thought to never see again. Coated in the many colors of the Earth shared with her mane propped in messy strands and loose bangs which betrayed how well she actually tended to her beauty just because of how perfect she was with her thick cyan fur and countless feathers set straight and shining along the wings folded at her sides. Wings that looked stronger than how she remembered.

It was her.

It was her voice that said she loved her, and she smiled. Like a true friend with so much care. Is this really a dream? This is… the Rainbow Dash I know. That I always knew.

She took several more steps to her, such a small filly bravely coming up to the magenta filly in the shadows. Standing in the glow of the fire. She lowered her head, never letting her smile go even as she wept. She spoke again in that same voice. …That same, raspy voice that she always had. Sounded so real. So familiar. Like nothing a dream would give her.

“I… really missed you, …Soul.”

“Dashie…?” Soul whispered. She blinked hard. Dash would not disappear. That lovely smile never went away. This pony… my best friend, she never left. This is her. The very Rainbow Dash who stood waiting for her to stand up after every fall and every mistake. When I sat in the street with a hurt wing… this was the Dashie that didn’t leave me there, and the entire world sitting still when she hugged me. Like a true friend. Who can make me forget all the pain.

Ignore the pain in her wing… the pain… in her neck.

Soul dropped the shard, looking down at her bloody hoof which slowly reached towards her and set itself upon her throat. Feeling the thin cut running along it pushed straight into… into her own soft fur. It hurt. Every second she touched it made it hurt more. Feeling a little more blood drip out onto her hoof.

So it did hurt.

I feel it all. The heat. The cold. My own hoof touching my neck. And all the pain. All the shivers running down her spine. It all felt real. This… was no dream.

No nightmare.

4.11
“Dashie!” Soul pulled herself together. Is this real? I… Soul stepped up. Getting up on her legs that felt like jelly. Rainbow… is it really you? I knew it… I always dreamed you would come for me… you did. Dashie.

Soul tripped over her own hooves. Falling back to the floor, her chin landing with a thud. Then it really stung. Soul’s eyes widened. Such horrible pain in her throat. All along her neck. It made her loose her breath, it made her scream. Lunging backwards onto her back with both her forehooves set upon the long opening she could completely feel across her neck. Holding it tightly and hissing her pain.

Holy crap it hurts. She couldn’t even think straight. Not anymore. Seeing all the blood on her hooves. Her own blood. Why does it hurt? It wasn’t supposed to. It wasn’t. Remembering how good it actually felt a moment ago. All the stinging pain blistering over her neck. Right now, and I can’t even think… agh. So… is this all a trick? Is any of this happening? She had to be seeing things.

Soul looked up.

Rainbow Dash. Staring down on Soul with her face stricken in worry. “Oh man, …that looks bad” she said looking down under Soul’s chin. Rainbow is… so close. She… she is right here. Soul couldn’t move. She could see every detail of her face. Her beautiful fur. Her gorgeous mane. She even smells… just like the rain. Exactly as she remembered it. That smell of freshly fallen rainwater. She never smelled like anything in my nightmares. Looking deep at whatever terrible wound Soul inflicted on herself with eyes buzzing all across her neck. Just watching Dash, like the pain was going away now. Soul could only watch the Pegasus, not able to say a damn thing. Everything standing still in an absolute dream. For Rainbow Dash to be here right now looking up and down at her.

The pony I want… she had come… all this way just for me? For them to finally be in the same room with one another. Soul began to smile. I… I can’t even tell what I’m feeling anymore. Seeing that rainbow mane again. Seeing those eyes that began to drop little tears down to her. Dash cried along with Soul.

“Lift your hoof” Dash said in such a pained voice. Soul did as she said. Setting her hoof down at her side leaving her neck fully exposed to Dash. Rainbow’s sad face returned to a small smile. She wiped a hoof over her own tears and sniffed. Smiling so brightly. Soul so happy to see that smile again. Lost in the moment as she lay there on her back, and Soul… smiled as well.

4.12
“Thank Celestia, you’re gonna be just fine!” Dash said. She cleared her face of more tears. She’s crying for me? Because she was worried about me? Dash was happy that Soul was okay? That couldn’t be it. But every single tear falling from the beautifully smiling face covered in relief. How Dash never left her side, standing there above her. Dash was happy. I missed being able to see that. I missed it so much. Like I actually made her happy. Just being okay was enough to make Rainbow happy.

Dashie is here for me.

Rainbow began to cry harder now. Letting out loud breaths with chilling tears falling from her closed eyes and onto Soul’s very body. “You damn moron” Rainbow cried out. “Why would you do that?!”

I tried… Soul’s eyes opened as wide as they could. …To kill myself. Right in front of Dash, the pony I always wanted back. The pony I thought hated me. But… she cares? Dashie wasn’t mad at me. She… the filly was so happy to see Soul was okay. She actually was caring for her right now. Making sure she was safe. Yelling at her not in anger. That is fear. Rainbow Dash was afraid for me… and I almost killed myself.

Soul touched her throat again. It stung. All her blood warmly seeping into her fur. Out of all their time together and all the injuries either one sustained, looks like I’m the one who hurt myself the worst now… and I did it on purpose. I’m… I’m so ashamed Dashie had to see me try to do that.

“Dash…” Soul started. Looking up at her friend’s sad face. Soul turned away, rolling her body over to lay on her side so Dash did not need to see her work or anything else wrong with her. I don’t want her to see how terrible I look. “I’m so sorry. …I…” what can I even say? There is no excuse. Only able to say what really made me feel this way. “Thought you hated me.”

Soul rubbed her cheek against the floor. Bangs of her violet mane fell into her eyes, touching the tears streaming down the side of her face and along her muzzle. Somewhere behind her, she heard the little steps Dash took walking around, coming closer to where her head sat. She could not see her, but felt like Dash was right behind her. The fur on the free side of her head stood up. A presence swirled around up there. Dash spoke softly into her ear, close and with care.

“I never hated you. Soul, …you’re my best buddy in the world.”

4.13
Soul turned her head over, seeing Rainbow Dash right above her… so close to her nose. The cyan filly hesitated to do so at first but leaned back to give Soul some space. Never stopping to smile at her.

“I’ll always love you, Soul.”

Soul’s ears perked up. Her heart skipped a beat and tingled so much. That tingle ran up Soul’s entire spine. She felt it well. She felt… happy. That was it.

Happiness. Nothing else.

Not even her tears could take root anymore and she could only smile as wide as she could. Both fillies smiling up and down to each other and neither could cry anymore. Rainbow smirked. “And I’ll always need you there to get crushed in a race.” There she was. She still insisted that she won their races. Oh but not for long. Sooner or later I bet I will finally win a one of our races. No more ties. That snarky Dash did not bother her anyways. She just laughed. Rainbow joined in.

Rainbow backed up a little, sitting down near the bed and letting out a sigh of relief. “It’s so great to see you again!” Soul pushed herself off the ground and sat up as well. Turning to face her beloved friend. Soul wiped one last tear still sitting on her cheek, careful she avoided putting any of the blood on her hoof to her face. But just so happy. So very happy. Rainbow is here with me!

“I missed you too” she said with her voice doing nothing to hide how truly happy she actually was. “You and you’re bullshit.” Dash laughed. “You know I always beat you,” she said back. Both of them laughed just like they used to. All the times I used to laugh with her. Nothing bad happening to us. Just the good times. Both fillies quieting down, calmly staring at each other. Soul lost in Rainbow’s smile. The same feeling she too felt. Still trying to piece together if this really was a beautiful dream or the real thing. Her throat pounded in pain. Rainbow Dash was here with her. It’s like nothing has changed. Dashie is actually talking to me. There were no more nightmares. No more sadness. Just her and her best friend together in this snowy land. To think I almost took this chance away. Dash, you’re an angel. Her first and greatest friend. And she will always be there with me.

“I missed you so much” Soul repeated herself forgetting she already told Dash that. Rainbow smiled wider. “Friends stick together no matter what. You couldn’t expect to stay away from me forever.” Rainbow found me. She found me because she wanted to. Soul could hardly contain how happy she was. Letting out a little huff hearing that being said. She had to do her best to hold in her tears. No more crying. She cried enough. She wanted Dash to see just how happy she really was. Nothing else. Even her need to not look messy in front of Dash still held firm. Using one of her hooves to gently glide along the fur of her other leg to try and even out that messy fur. With a little nudge of her leg, she pushed some of the bangs away still sitting on her face. Dash said nothing. Good. I look like a total mess after all of this.

4.14
“How on earth did you find me?” Soul asked of her. Dash actually brought one of her forehooves up just short of her own face. Slowly rotating it about before her as she stared with pride at it. She spoke with that very same pride. “I asked around. Some certain princesses get a little loose around sweets. Besides, …” She turned to face Soul and pointed her hoof right at her own chest. “You know how unstoppable I am when I want to be.”

Wow she really figured it out on her own? She did it all on her own. What an amazing Pegasus. Rainbow actually found a way to get to me… through all the storms. Through the snow. All that distance. That sounded impossible. There’s no way Dash could get through all that if Soul could not. “But how did you get through the storms? That was the reason why I could never come to you” Soul said admittedly. I just hope Dash understands that, I always wanted to find her. Please see… how hard it was for me to try. Dash snapped her hoof to point at Soul. “What’d I say? I… am… unstoppable.” Soul didn’t question it. Dash’s wings did look much stronger than how she remembered and nothing ever stopped Dash from achieving the impossible. Perhaps she did love Soul as greatly as she hoped. Strong enough for her to risk herself and push through the storm. However she managed to do it. It touched her deeply.

Soul had no words for how touched she was. She sniffed the last remnants of her crying. Shaking her head at how silly Dash was with what she was saying. I got to stop myself from crying again. Well if Dash could get through that storm, then so can I. We’ll go home together. Go back home to Cloudsdale and all the other pegasi. If Dash could accept her then the others could to. They could leave all this pain and heartache behind. Be together again. Fly through the clouds. Reach for their dreams side by side. I can have my dream back. Our dream.

Soul was going to break through those storms with all her strength no matter how hard it would be.

“Whatcha want to do when we get home?” Dash asked. Glad we have the same idea. They really were going to leave together! Soul was happy. Her mind raced with the possibilities on what they could do. So many things that they missed doing together over the months. They could eat ice cream. Play with the other ponies. Have sleepovers again. Maybe go to camp together. One thing shined over the others. If Dash wanted to do it, then she would get it.

“I just wanna race you again” Soul said. A chance for us to fly again. Dash burst out laughing. Almost falling back into the bed. “What…?” she started. “You think you’re gonna win?” Soul accepted that challenge. “Why not? Now that I’m back, …you’re not gonna have it so easy in the sky.” “Oh we’ll see about that.”

They were silent for a few seconds. Broken by both of them laughing just like the old times.

4.15
Rainbow stood up now. Taking a few steps over to the open doorway. Looks like it’s time, time to leave this place. I should find Blight, at least tell her goodbye. Thank her for keeping me from starving, I guess. Had Dash already met her? She hoped not. Blight certainly was an odd pony. Wouldn’t surprise me if she would be freaked out by her. I will still try to say goodbye. Find a way to keep Dash busy while she did so.

Soul tried to stand up to follow Dash but her friend shot her a glance and stopped her. “Hang on, buddy” she said. “I’m gonna go get some water. We should clean you up first, …you sorta got blood all over you.” Haha, yeah I think I do need to get cleaned up now. Certainly need to after this. It would be too weird to return home covered in all this. So much blood. So much pain. That injury still pulsed its stinging pain. Soul said nothing more, even if she wanted to admit… she wanted Dash to help her clean this up. Her friend probably wouldn’t do such a thing but maybe there was a chance. Rainbow was certainly that same caring pony she remembered her to be. A side that was missed deeply. Nothing like those terrible nightmares. All the Rainbow Dashes seen in each and every one of those heart wrenching moments that every single night gave. This is the real Rainbow Dash. I never want to see that mean one again.

Soul loved it. She loved her. Watching her best friend in the whole world head off towards the door with that beautiful tail wagging the happiness of a pony finally made real, I want to show her how much she means to me. I want her happy. To know I still care for her after all of this. After waiting for too many months, she could touch her best friend again and… and finally apologize.

Soul wasted no time in standing back up, running towards her rainbow tailed friend without her even noticing. Too focused on the snow outside the door to realize Soul was leaping straight at her. I want to hug you again. Catch me. Or not. I don’t care. Rather us fall to the ground together. Anything. Just to show you how much I missed you. How she longed to do this.

Her forehooves outstretched to grab hold of her best friend that she fell forward with a quick flap of her wings and Dash barely able to turn around in time to see Soul fall upon her. Right into her. At last!

“Dashie!”

4.16
Soul hit the ground hard, bashing her nose straight into the floor just short of landing right outside the door.

What happened? Soul blinked. Looking down her nose. Seeing the open door ahead of her. All it was. Wait… but… Soul winced at the pain in her nose. Laying there on her belly with legs outstretched, she groaned. “Ow…” She placed a hoof to rub her nose and rubbed it. Continuing to do that as she stood up. Did I just miss Dash? That was impossible. I went right at her. I was supposed to hug her.

I know… something is wrong. Turning around not letting her hoof leave her nose. There was Dash except…

Soul gasped.

What is this?! What am I even seeing. Like all the cyan fur was ripped away and floated about the air. Waves of it swirling and ripping straight from Rainbow’s very body. Flowing about and disappearing into the air exactly like smoke from the fireplace would do. That’s what it was… smoke.

Rainbow Dash fell apart.

She disappeared into the world around her, staring at Soul. All that was left of her, Soul watched… watched those eyes disappear before she could even breathe. That filly’s body churned and faded. Her stance broke. Her silence turned to a small sigh coming out strong. Not Dash’s own. Another voice. So disappointed.

This has to be a dream, some crazy thing in my head… no way this can happen. No way as her best friend… melted away into the air. Gone as fast as she could try to reach out to her. Seeing all the cyan and rainbows of her gorgeous friend bleed away into mist carried high and far around them both before popping out of existence itself. Blasting away in a slight breeze that made Soul’s own fur wave. All those colors disappeared. Everything I wanted… gone in the wind. That wind that flew away.

Dash was gone.

A black Pegasus standing where Dash had been. Soulblight.

4.17
She just stood there facing away from Soul. Head kept low to stare at the ground. She looked upset. Displeased. Over what? As much as I want her to say something. She would say nothing. Tell me now… because now… now I am seeing what you just did.

Tell me what you just did. Apologize to me. She had to apologize but Blight did not. Why wouldn’t she? Soul becoming more angry hidden under how shocked she was. There could be no other explanation: Blight tricked me. But it was Dash. There was no way it couldn’t have been. Every word she spoke sounding just like the filly. There was no difference in it. Talking to her just like she did when they played together. Yet… she was gone. A trick.

I have never heard of magic like this.

All from Blight. Because of this, her rage boiled. But she was surprised how it did not come out. She did not want to yell. She only looked back down to the same carpet Blight stared at. Seeing the few droplets of blood staining the carpet between her bloody hooves. Still lost in everything that had happened. Still remembering that soft and loving voice of her best friend.

“Do you not wish to yell at me?” she heard Blight say across from her. She glanced up still seeing Blight refusing to make eye contact. Soul did not say anything. It actually made Blight wince. “That’s a surprise for I can tell how mad you are at me.” That was not far from the truth. I want to scream at you. There are so many words I can throw at you. Finding it fit to simply stare at Blight sadly with none of those words able to come out of her weak mouth. Only one line could escape in a hushed whisper.

“Blight…, why?”

Soulblight shook her head. The black Pegasus so uneasy before her. If she was angry, she had no right to be. Tricking Soul with such cruelty. Those dragon eyes rose to meet her own eyes.

“Why?” Blight said. “You ask me why? Soul…” Blight backed away losing any semblance of her being angry. She turned to the fireplace. Sending her hoof out to cut the air until it pointed to something behind her. Soul followed to find the very thing she had dropped. That shard of glass still laying on the carpet with her own blood soaking it in the middle of a pool of red spotted right into the carpet. “Soul, …why would you do that?!” Blight yelled. “Do you have any idea what you tried to do?” I do… and… Soul stopped. Stopped when she actually smiled at Blight. Could feel herself smiling.

Her little smile even making Blight reel back a bit. Shocked how I really don’t care? I’m not disturbed. Disturbed over how… nothing had changed. So she said it. “I wanted to get rid of the pain.” Soul looked up. Anger blaring in her eyes even with her smiling. “So I could cause no more pain to others.”

4.18
Soulblight said nothing. Soul watched that damned monster as she stared wide-eyed back at Soul. Her brilliant white teeth, the only other deviation in her dark color, standing out in her gaping maw. Why would she even be shocked? Not like Blight cares. It was not like she liked her. Not at all. Nothing had changed. Rainbow Dash is never going to come for me and I was stupid to think she would, even if I really want that pony to come in for me, just like I just saw moments ago. Her actual best friend. Not a trick. No damn dark magic that could allow this beast to take the look of her friend. Take her voice, her personality. Take everything she wanted from Dash. Just to play with me like this. She really was a monster. But Soul’s heart paused momentarily from what her eyes caught.

She saw another little tear sparkle in the light of the fire. A sparkle falling through the air let loose by Blight herself. She was not angry anymore. Blight shed a tear out from the darkness and shadows of her fur. Through the silvery mist. Through her blistering eyes. Her lips curling as she huffed and sniffed. “Soul…” she said. “You tried to end your own life.” Her dark hoof slammed down on the ground. Going straight into that carpet and beyond with no sound at all.

“Do you… have any idea… how sad that would make me?”

Just another joke. I could see that. She could. But… those tears. Blight was actually crying for her. It was… just like the ones… I saw Dash cry out. The Dash that made me smile just a minute ago. The same tears. Standing above her examining the wound that was meant to take her own life. Blight, so you were the one crying. But she had done so much just to make Soul’s life terrible. She took Dash from her. All her friends and her life gone. There was no way she could care for her. Blight was wrong. She was a damn liar.

“Idiot!” Blight screamed. It made Soul jump with how sudden it was. “Think about Dash…” she wiped away her tears. I… I can’t stop myself from crying. Dash is all I think about, and she is why I wanted to do this. There would be no way she could ever bring happiness to the filly she loved. No way she could deserve it back. “Rainbow Dash is your best friend. You are hers” Blight said. “How do you think she would feel if she found out you were gone forever? That she may never have any chance to see you again?”

4.19
“She would not want to see me again!” Soul yelled at the top of her lungs. So loud that her voice broke. All her anger flooding out finally in that painful sentence. Dying down to a whisper. “It’s why she never came for me. …And I can never come for her. She doesn’t want to see me anymore.” Soul looked away again. Down at the bloodstains below. More appearing since she last saw. If only it were even more. Enough to end it all. So I don’t need to feel so sad now. Stronger than before. Building up so much that it hurt.

“Soul…” Blight whispered above her. Blight was there. So close now. Hadn’t even noticed her. Just a leg’s reach from her. Soul backed away till her tail was almost out the open door. Stay away from me. Don’t you dare come near. Blight did nothing more to come closer. She sadly watched the filly back away from her. She spotted movement behind the black mare. Deep in the shadows of the room but shining bright like the Sun. The glass shard. Floating on its own through the air. “You’re so selfish” Blight whispered. Nothing more, just the glass shard launching into the fire. Disappearing in that blaze with all the blood covering it. All the evidence of what she did. To crackle and break under the intense heat.

“I would understand why you think I don’t care for you. I understand why you think you are so alone… because I know you have not had a friend for most of your life. But I do not want you to die. …And neither would Rainbow Dash.” Soul watched the Pegasus wander over toe one of the windows. Standing between her and the fireplace. Staring out at the world beyond that half-buried window.

“Do you know how I was able to take on her appearance?” Blight asked.

Something with your weird magic. I don’t know, not like I’m a unicorn or a weirdo. Maybe this freak had some skill. Or maybe something like a Changeling? None of it made sense. “Because I know how she is all thanks to what you saw in her” Blight admitted. All I see… is the Dash I am afraid of. The one I hurt. All because of you, Blight. I don’t see the one I miss. The one who flew with me in the skies. Blight had replicated that pony exactly. Soul could tell.

That was Rainbow Dash.

“Every night, I listen to her” Blight said. Soul… couldn’t say a word. Because she just heard that right. What? Blight spoke. “Did you know that your best friend cries at night?”

Just like… me? Rainbow cried? I… I never could imagine her crying at night. Those beautiful tears. She wouldn’t cry at night. No. Dashie has so much to be happy about. She would never go to bed sad. Never. Blight is lying. She has to be. Right?

“You listen to her?” Soul questioned. Are you lying to me? Blight never took her eyes from the window. She nodded. Sighing so deeply. “You more than anypony understand me as capable of such a thing. I am a “freak” after all.” That was actually… hard to hear. Why would she call herself a freak? She’s never said that before. I… I never called her that… except… well…

She felt bad. I do call her that, but I would never call her that to her face. Yet… does she know I do think that of her? I’m… I’m sorry. I…

“But yes, …she cries at night. I listen to her whimper under her covers. Do you know why?” Blight asked. Soul slowly shook her head. “The same reason you cry at night” Blight said. Turning to face Soul directly now.

“Because she misses you.”

4.20
The world stayed silent as Blight continued to talk. Soul could not interrupt her. She won’t dare. Dashie cries for me? Blight...

“She wants to see you again… yet you expect her to find you!?”

“Rainbow is a child just like you. No matter how much she wants you back, you can not seriously expect her to find you on her own. That is why I want to help you. I truly do. Yet… here you are… trying to kill yourself.” Blight scoffed. Rainbow was a filly. A strong one but still a little girl… just like me. I lost all hope of being able to get out of here and see her again. Because of this damn land. If I can’t get through those storms… then… Dash could not find her either. “But I’ll… never be able to leave. I want to see Dash again” Soul said with her tears fighting so hard to flood out. “I can’t leave. You said it yourself.”

“Not right now” Blight said. The mare heaved a heavy sigh. Setting one of her huge wings down upon her chest. Softly brushing her hoof over the feathers she carefully stared upon. Like marveling in her own wings.

“Let me tell you a story, Soul.” She said still patting her wing. “Your friend, Rainbow Dash, is an undeniably amazing pony. So amazing and confident. It was because of that that she flew faster than she ever did merely a few days ago. Some move she called… a sonic rainboom.” A… a sonic rainboom? So Dash has started naming stunts. Whatever it was, it must be fast, and Dash had achieved it. Such a great filly. I wish I could be like her. I wish I could be there to see her do this stuff.

Blight continued. “She went so fast that I doubt anypony could ever hope to come close to topping it. A record that left countless ponies across Eqeustria amazed at her talent, and she was just a filly doing it all on her own… because she did not give up. Yet you’re standing in this house…” she pointed a hoof at the fireplace. At the shard tossed inside there. “Giving up all hope.” She stopped. Sitting down. Setting her wing back to her side and sighing deeply. Closing her eyes and not opening them even as she spoke. Soul waited. Couldn’t do anything. Just hear Blight talk about her best friend like this. Talk so passionately.

“I don’t want you to give up. I only wish to see you achieve what you want. Overcome this obstacle that fate has given you. If you choose not to, then you will never know how much Dash loves you.”

How much she… loves me.

4.21
Soul stepped outside. Her hooves going over the threshold of the doorway and right back into the cold of the world outside where the wind was always there to greet her. I can’t think straight anymore. I can’t… do anything. My neck hurts so much. That pain that never went away. But… I know what I should do.

She stopped. Looking back around the doorway to see Blight still sitting in her place. She looked so sad to see the filly leave. No need to be sad… at least… at least I want to tell you one last thing. She deserved that at least.

“I’m sorry” she spoke softly. Blight’s ears drooped down. “I just wanna be alone right now.”

Soul split her wings. Taking off. Leaving it all behind.

4.22
I really did think I had finally gotten through to Soul. Finally shown her not everything was dark and dismal. I came so damn close to stopping all this, so close. Then it all had to be ruined from one stupid mistake. How could I not tell Soul would want to hug Dash? It was natural. The filly longed to see Dash again. I’m an idiot. At least… she finally came back to that point for just a brief moment where she came close enough to hugging a pony she loved. But Blight could never fill that role no matter how much of a façade she could make to try and desperately keep Soul happy.

Walking outside the doorway, Blight stopped. Looking back down at what was left of the little filly who left her. Those tiny drops of dark blood stained right into the carpet. The highest point of a sadness Blight could not imagine Soul was going through. To think… just by seeing Dash, she lost all that sadness for just a moment. But…

If only I could make those dreams come true too.

There were no words to describe how much joy she felt seeing Soul happy after so much time. The last time being that distant memory of the two of them laying on the mountain top together. I really thought if I could just be that pony she wants, I would make her happy. But no, it was only her friend. Only Rainbow Dash. Because she still hates me even though I saved her life. Bringing some joy to her for a moment, even if it was just a lie. Still doesn’t appreciate it. No love. If only Soul had not left. I would be there for her. I will not leave her. I will be the one. To be her friend. But looking out and about. Far into the distant grey sky under a light cloud cover, she could not spot Soul. She could not call out to her or go after her because Soul would not want her to. She wanted to be alone even if Blight offered her company and help until the filly could finally go home.

That is why… I am so sad.

4.23
Soulblight wandered past Soul’s house heading back to the house she came to mark as her own. That dark and lonely house. Walking past, she spotted something out of the corner of her eyes calling her attention. That was right. I can’t leave that laying here. Best to just put it back in her house where it’d be safe, otherwise it would just get buried out here. The box of pony dolls, left sealed by the window on the side of Soul’s house. Left by her sitting atop a mound of snow.

She walked over to it. This box she never got the chance to give to the filly. That plan ruined when I saw her through the window doing… that. Ugh, if I had been a minute later. I should have paid attention to Soul, how unhappy she has been without Dash. I did a good job at being Dash, but… I can’t be her for sure. It was a good job of making Soul feel bad in the end, me feel bad as well. All I did was trick her. I can never be her best friend. As much as she wanted to. The gift of Rainbow Dash was not what she was. It was not what these dolls were. Dash was the only pony who could make things better. Not these dolls. So Blight wrapped them up in her magic, keeping them in tow as she trudged back to her house, head left hanging close down to the snow.

If only I could be her best friend. If only I had not made everything so difficult and destroyed any chance of being Soul’s friend. Finally make the filly happy and not feel so alone. She could not fill that role. Looking down at her black hooves gliding in and out of the snow. The hooves of a monster who only made things worse for an innocent child.

And all I wanted was… to feel loved by a pony.

I don’t deserve it… but why not? Walking past the dark wall of her own house, she stopped. Raising her head up to glance into the window giving vision to the darkness within. A darkness her reflection blended in with to the point where it were like she had none at all. But she could see her eyes at least. Blinking back at her. Each second, staring at that sight in her eyes. A boiling sea of red. All that red flooding where her yellow eyes had been all around needle thin pupils… my pupils.

Every time she saw them. Every moment when I feel like this. They make me disgusted. Sitting herself down to watch them coil about in the window. All that color that was not her own. Her eyes were not that of the very blood that Soul left behind. They were supposed to be beautiful little stars. I always thought myself to be beautiful. I… loved it when Soul looked at me. She looked at me like I was beautiful. A lie. Only because I was wearing Dash’s skin. She never earned such praise from the filly.

I won’t ever.

4.24
I want to be told I am beautiful too. I want to feel like it. At least… for Soul to think so. She could never match the beauty of a true friend. She brought her tail forward, holding it close to her side before she finally grabbed it with her hooves. Gently caressing the countless soft hairs that made it so long, long enough to near drag on the ground when she walked. Long enough to be so elegant. So black with the most tiniest of silver lines gleaming like moonlight.

These colors aren’t right.

They weren’t correct but… I’ll care for them anyways. Always keeping them thick and straight even if none of the earth could touch them to ruin her work. She petted her tail, loving it like none other. Loving her work that she put effort into all over. At least I think I am beautiful enough to be loved. Unlike what Soul thinks. Not at all.

“She doesn’t like how I am” she spoke down to her tail. Seeing that that black finish of her tail now shining red. Ha, must be from my eyes. Growing stronger and stronger like fire. “I can’t be one she would want to be around.” I know just how she feels about me and I really, really want to change that. Every effort she put in to make Soul happy if just for a moment was never enough to change that fact. The fact that… “She thinks that…”

How would you say it, Soul? Like this?

“Soulblight is a freak.” Hahaha, I sound just like her. I’m surprised. I can do a good Soul impression as well. A perfect replica just like my Rainbow Dash. Her own voice only coming back as a sigh of relief to calm herself. It was at that moment that she fully realized the weight of how angry she was. “I can’t be mad at her…” she said lifting her hoof up to her face. “Because I am a freak. I am evil.” It was all because of her. If she had just kept her stupid mouth shut than Soul would be home right now enjoying herself with Rainbow Dash at her side. Even if… in the end, I would never get this chance to speak with Soul. At least I wouldn’t have ruined her life.

Dash would be dead.

4.25
Was that really right? That is why I did all this in the first place. Everything that led up to Soul’s life being like this. All because I just wanted to protect their precious friendship. Soul knew that. She had to. She was the one who agreed to it. Neither of them saw any other way. I had to take over what she wanted…!

I had to kill and Soul allowed me.

Yet she wanted to put all the blame on me.

She hates you.

She hates me because I hurt her. Maybe it was the right thing to do but that did not make it justified. Rainbow Dash was gone anyways. Everything she tried to do was for naught. Their friendship was destroyed and now that little filly was all on her own to try and fix it. When I am supposed to be the one to do that. She had to be the one. It was the only way to make things right. Because Soul was just a filly.

That’s right. She was just a filly like Rainbow Dash. Neither of them could do anything to reach back to one another. They were gone forever, and so Soul tried to kill herself. She tried to do it because of all I did to hurt her.

She tried to do it because she’d rather not deal with you.

Blight stared deep down at the snow cast deep in such a horrible red shine. Not even from the Sun, haha. No… that’s all because of me. These damned eyes! My eyes. I.. I can’t even do this right now. I hate not feeling like I am worth anything to her. All her mistakes. This blasted body. The fact that I am not Rainbow Dash and never could be. She could not fill the void. No matter how much good she wanted to do, …it never did work in the end. All because she could never pull it off.

I guess that’s the reason why I am never good enough. Never good enough to earn love. Soul abandoned me. She abandoned me like everypony else.

They never loved you. They never needed you. She does not need you.

4.26
But why don’t they need me? All I ever did was try so hard to make things right. Oh please could Soul just come back? Just tell me how much she at least appreciates my efforts. All I’m doing is trying to make things comfortable for the filly. She could only do so much. Trust me, I wish every day that I can find a way to bring Dash back. Do something right. But no, I keep messing up. I do my best. My best to give Soul what she needs.

But I need Soul.

Yes! I need her. I want her. I wanted so much to be able to talk with her and now… now she hates me.

Then leave her.

I will never do such a thing. It is because of me that Soul is like this. Even if I get nothing out of this from Soul, I want to feel like I did all I can to make her happy. Something to make it feel like I have some sort of talent. Not caring what that talent to be, even if it were making others feel happy. I must help her.

Such a trifle never stopped you before.

4.27
I… will… never abandon her. I can’t leave her to suffer… I need her. I want her to be my friend. That is all that I ever wanted.

I spent so long. So very long wanting that. So long that it made my heart ache. Always the same in the end. They always left me alone. They always were the ones who hurt me. They always hurt me. That actually rang hard inside her. Made her silent. Made her still. Because… because Soul could do that too.

Please don’t leave me. I did everything. I helped so much. I saved the filly because she deserved to live. But… like always. It was worthless. She does not need me in the end, …even if I want to help her with all my heart. No pony ever needed her.

If she does not need you… then…

4.28
“Get rid of her.”

Blight heard those words. She could swear she saw them too. Saw them escaping in the window she stared upon. Let loose into the world... by her own mouth. Blight gasped.

I said that. Through my own mouth. The mouth she could see grinning back at her. Slithering out from her own tongue between those gleaming fangs. Her… fangs. As white as the snow that laid around her. Laid inside of a mouth that uttered such a sin. It froze her heart. To see those fangs… once more. Saying something so terrifying. So horrible. Blight stared. Stared until she could not look at herself anymore. Go away.

Go away.

Go.

Get rid of her.

“No!”

4.29
The Sun was beginning to set. It was getting colder. The wind began to blow harder. Made worse by how high Soul was sitting at the top of her favorite mountain peak. Staring down at the village. The tiny little dots of the houses in an endless sea of white. Not much had changed of this scene over the hours.

Soul’s mind laid still watching the scene. It actually kept her calm. This being the most calm she had been in a while. It felt kind of nice. Not having to think of any nightmares. No angry ponies yelling at me and nothing making me feel bad. Hell, sometimes I even forgot what it was I almost did. It tried its best to remind her, still stinging and drawing her attention to gently rub the wound. She no longer felt dirty now that the blood had finally stopped flowing. All the blood covering her body having time of their own to dry up and stain her fur. It was all quiet now. Quiet enough for her to finally be able to just sit back and watch the clouds pass by overhead. Stare in awe at the wide-open sky.

I never have taken any time to just sit back and look out at this sky, not like I used to do back home. Vast, blue and inviting. Even if it were bleak, this world had a sky. One that no other ponies but her could fly through. But it would be nice to still share it with Dash.

So somewhere out there, my best friend is still flying, huh? Flying high and far just like we did side by side together every chance we had. A sonic rainboom? What did that look like? There was no telling how amazing it could be. That really was just like Dash. Somewhere beyond all this snow was the pony she loved still working hard to carry out all her dreams. Soul really did want to be there to watch her do just that. See what this rainboom was and be there every step of the way to see her friend achieve her dreams. Dreams that we shared. Flying around out there with Rainbow Dash, really my only dream now.

But this world was a barrier. A barrier she could not think of how to get past. Probably can’t even get out of it at all. Just like she did before… the incident. The wind blowing over her reminding her of how dangerous it was. No matter how much she wanted to show how much she loved Dash it was that gnawing fear that kept her grounded.

4.30
Even if she could return, there would be no guarantee it would work. Besides, all those ponies probably still hate me. Celestia will try to get rid of me.

What if Dash still hates me?

That possibility remained. That would be something Soul could not imagine. Do so much to get back home and see that nothing changed. Sent right back to being all alone. Dashie still being mad at me. But… I can’t get it out of my head.

That Rainbow Dash that likes me.

A Rainbow Dash who tended to her wounds, who laughed and joked with her. Played with her and made everything seem like all was perfect. Exactly what best friends would do. Was that not how things were before everything that happened? There could be a chance that she was out there, her friend who still cared for her. The happiness she could bring. Even if it was all a trick, Soulblight did do one thing with her little show. It was a little thing that I forgot.

The feeling of being happy.

She was happy for the brief time she saw Dash, standing in the doorway of her icy house. She was happy at the idea of finally being able to do all the fun things they used to do. Hearing Dashie talk exactly like she did before they fought. She did… Soulblight did sound just like her. That was the Rainbow Dash she loved. Not the ones who make me cry at night… or the one who told me how much she hates me. Who would abandon me. There was a Rainbow Dash who did love her. She was out there. She would be out there every day and every night like the night that would be coming. Would she cry tonight?

If it were true, …did Dashie actually cry at night? Oh Dashie, do you… do you have nightmares just like me? Do you miss me? If only I could return home. I’d come back to you and fly right into your room. Anything to stop you from crying. I can already hear what you would say. To finally hear you say it again. “Soul.”

I may not even be able to stop myself from hugging you. Let you know that I am back. That I will never be mean to you again and beg you to forgive me. They could be friends again. They could live a perfect life again. Spend so many nights with each other. Be there for one another until the end of time. That is what I wish for. As much as I want you to be there for me. I will be there for you too.

There is a Rainbow Dash who wants to be there for me, I know it. The same Rainbow Dash from before.

Soulblight was right.

4.31
Soul stood atop the mountain. The wind blowing through her devastated mane, gently flowing along her neck. She followed the path of the wind blowing over her to where it went. To the crater behind her. To the walls of storms behind that whose darkness hung high over the mountain range at the far side of the crater. Somewhere at the other side of that storm that never ended was Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash out there working hard. The one who never gave up. Who always managed to achieve her goal in the end no matter how many things tried to stop her. The pony that I rely on. She was beyond that storm never letting herself give up.

…Soul felt it. She felt completely ashamed. Inside this world of ice, she had given up. That is where you beat me now. I never let you beat me at anything… but looks like I failed this time. I was the first to give up. Give up in a way that she now forced herself to call selfish. I am selfish. Dash is out there crying for me, and… and I actually tried to take myself away from her. If I died… how many ponies would I hurt? Even if there was a chance it could happen, in the wake of all the possibilities that Dash still hated her, Soul would never allow herself to even try and bring pain to a Rainbow Dash who cared for her by taking herself from this world. All because she had given up when Dash had done her best to teach her not to do that, and… it would make Soulblight sad too.

That mare saved me. Saved me from making a terrible mistake and I would have never known how bad it would have been if I did make that mistake. Soulblight was the one who had woken her up. “I’m not selfish. I’m not a coward.” I will do anything to prove I am not selfish. If it had to start with her showing love to the ponies who she cared for, then so be it. She would work for it. She refused to give up. If she did, Dash would win that contest. There’d be no way that could happen.

Soul whispered her little voice into the wind, letting it be carried to whatever ends of the Earth it may go for any pony to hear. “Thank you, Blight.”

I won’t give up. Never.

4.32
“I still love you, Dashie. No matter what!” She shouted proudly to the sky. Staring up at the chilly sky which licked her body with its cold. But… I don’t feel cold at all. I feel… warm. So warm. After so long. I… I feel so happy now. None of what happened today matters, I am still happy. Because Dash is out there for me. Then we can fly together in the big, open sky. That sky above her, opening up and she saw it. One little ray of sunlight shining through the clouds. A rip in the darkness. One little light… shining upon her.

I see it. Like the Sun itself was there for her. That light shining bright among the wind all around her. Disappearing just as fast as it came. Leaving Soul behind. Seeing what was left of that gleaming light in her eyes, remembering forever what happened this day. That I still love Dash. I always will. It felt beautiful. So much that it tingled all over. A little sensation flowing all about with all that was left of that warming light… and all that was left…

I feel… weird. Like… only my… my flanks!

I’ve never felt this before.

Warm and hollow. Calm and exciting. All at once. Flaring all along her hind legs. Such a brief feeling, like nothing before. She had to see what it was. That warmth along her flanks. The first time she ever felt that.

What is happening to me?

Soul looked. Over her shoulder and past her wings. Her eyes widened. Never expecting to see such light. Light glowing along her flanks. Burning bright in red. Beating and pulsing… swirling with the wind around the one part of her body she would never expect to see bring this light upon the world. Her flank.

So that’s… what it is?

Finally.

4.33
This village really was too quiet. Even more noticeable in the coming of night such as now. If only it did have inhabitants who could go about their daily lives and give it some sense of being like a city. Soul had to be the one who broke the silence. Landing with a crunch in the snow, she hummed a gentle and soft tune. It just sounds nice. A little bit of music to remember how things used to be because I remember this song did help me fall asleep once. But I only know some of the lyrics. Though she hummed it anyways.

Soulblight’s song. There is no way I can sing it like she did. Not a chance. I can’t even sing. But… it still sounded nice enough in her head. Soul did want to know where the song came from. Maybe it would be worth it to ask tonight.

Trotting to the front door of her house, she took a leap and glided down the hole to reach her doorway. Preferring not to use the ramp. She spotted something to her left. Sitting next to the door, on top of the concrete porch was a pile of wood. Freshly laid out with barely any snow on them. Boards to be exact. Looking like they came from some piece of furniture. Cut apart and left there. More firewood. Another gift of it from Blight. Maybe she was inside!

Soul hurried to push the door open with both her forehooves, landing back down upon the soft carpet within. The fire still kept her house lit and warm enough. Looking all over, she found only her room.

Empty. Save for the pools of dried dark red blood left to mark what would have been her greatest mistake.

I want to clean all that up. Get that crap out of my sight. I never want to think of that… that thing that would have broken Blight’s heart… and hurt Dash so badly. Soul would not want this blood to be here for Blight to see if she came into the house. Though, honestly, I would have liked her to be here already. I have something to say and to show her. But she was gone. Leaving Soul’s house behind. Maybe she really did not want to see the blood. It must have been hard to see me do something so terrible. Probably at the house she always was in.

4.34
Soul flew out from the doorway and straight into the chilly sky beneath the moonlight. Hovering just over the rooftops of the village, just looking down at the other house. The one next to her own. If only I could tell if Blight is there. A light perhaps. None. Well, shouldn’t be surprised. Blight never needed light. Never did anything normal. A lot of freaky things. Oh, …I need to stop thinking of her like that. Blight is different but she is still decent. She did save my life today.

Was there even a door to Blight’s house or was it buried? She normally did spot her going in and out of the house through a hole in the roof. Soul wanted to make sure. Might be best for me to use the door. She glided back down, close enough to see how deep all the snow was around the house. Nearly up to the roof with the remnants of a window here and there peeking out from above the snow. She flew around the house. Looking at every window. Couldn’t even see through them. It was too dark in there. Besides seeing the moonlight shine in there. It was not enough light.

Soul rounded the corner again, finding no door. Nothing. Just… the roof that she looked up to. I can’t be afraid, I need to tell Blight something. That would be good enough. There’d be no reason more to disturb the black Pegasus any further tonight. Not after what Soul did. Being mean to her and almost breaking her heart. I completely understand if she’s mad at me. Just peak in and tell her.

4.35
Soul stopped. Wait, what’s that? Just saw something gleaming. She turned to find it. It being… another window. Huh… it’s destroyed? But… I never noticed that. All the other windows were perfect. This is the first window around here that I ever saw destroyed. A big hole burst into it like somepony threw something at it. Lots of rigid and sharp remains of glass still jutting out from the sides of what was the window, all around that huge hole in it.

No going through that window. Looks like sharp glass, I’d hurt myself for sure. And… I know how bad that glass is. What a sad house for Blight to live in. With all these holes in it, it must be cold inside. It sure was cold out here. I really do hope she can’t feel the cold like she said. She had no way of really telling for sure.

She beat her wings to fly up over the roof and it was easy from there to spot the hole perfectly cut in up there. There really was a lot of snow on top of the roof. So much, anypony would slip on that. The filly had to gently set herself down on it. As slow as possible. Keeping her wings ready to catch her if she fell. Give it a few seconds. It was safe now.

She carefully walked over the icy surface until she reached the hole. From there she could finally peer inside. Leaning her head in, she spotted the circular body of moonlight cast on the carpeted floor below, and that was all she could see. Everything else was too dark. Sometimes it looked like something moved in the corners. She could not pick them out. Soul squinted, looking left and right and slowly walking all along the edge of the hole. Trying to spot anything. Nothing.

Is she even in there? “Blight” she called down in a soft tone. Something moved! She could barely catch it in time to pick it out from all the other dark shadows down there. She knew what it looked like. Looked like ears flopping up. Listening to her call. I… I can see her. A tiny shimmer of silver in the dark… connected to more of that silvery glow so small she could easily miss it if she were not looking so hard. There was a pony down there. Blight.

She did not respond. Didn’t even look like she cared. She could not see those yellow eyes of a dragon. Blight never turned to her. Never even said a thing. So she is upset. Upset with her. I feel so ashamed. I called her so many names… and she was only looking out for me. I regret being so stupid… again. I make a bad habit of it. Blight did mess up too but… I know that what I did today… it hurt Blight just as bad as she hurt me. Trying to kill myself. I hate what I tried to do.

She did not want to leave Blight empty-hooved like this. Even if she had no right to go down there, Soul could at least say something. Tell her the thing she wanted to say. Maybe it would make things a little better. Blight did not deserve to spend the entire night sad. She readied her wings to go back home so as not to overstay her welcome. But not before I tell her something.

Soul gulped. Saying it in the most sincere whisper she could manage.

“I’m sorry.”

4.36
Blight listened close to the sound of the filly’s wings flapping as she went back to her house. Continuing to listen. She was gone. It was safe. Blight opened her eyes, casting the deep glow of a bloody hue on the empty wall she sat before. Thank goodness Soul had not come in. I have no way of explaining why I look like this to her. There would be no explanation for what she had done.

Rubbing one of her hooves over the soft fur of her chin, then she felt it. Those things in her mouth. Long and sharp. Running down her face. That smooth surface ending in a point that hurt to touch, making her reel her hoof back. But couldn’t stop her from running her tongue all along the dozens of them. They were all still there. They had to go away. Blight could not go around looking like this. If Soul sees them… Blight hushed herself. Thinking about the frightened filly shivering in terror, hiding in a corner away from her. No way she’d want to talk with a pony who has all these… damn fangs.

No. No! I never want to see her afraid of me. Seeing me like this, nothing any filly should ever see. No she could not. Even if that apology was meaningless.

4.37
Even looking like this, I should be the one who apologizes. I have so many things to apologize for. Because I was wrong. Wrong in thinking she would be different. I did all this just…

Just so she could have that pony she dreams of.

It would be best to just leave the filly be. It was what Soul wanted. Nothing bad could happen in that case. Nothing.

I shouldn’t apologize. It’s meaningless. So meaningless, just like Soul’s little apology. Meaningless like if I were to apologize… to…

All the others.

Hehe, Soul really was a bad pony. No different from any other.

Funny, Soul would never accept my apology if she knew what I was thinking.

4.38
Soul wiped her face off to clean what was left of her tears. Rubbing her eyes. So dizzy this morning, waking up to the bright sunlight shining in. Took a while to clean away all those tears. All those terrible things she had seen. They hurt so much more tonight than they used to. Just… want to forget them, though it was hard.

Soul smacked her hoof against the mattress. The hit even bounced her head a bit against the tear-drenched pillow she slept on. Sad but now, now I’m mad. Angry that it happened again. She could not hope to put her hoof on why. That is not Rainbow Dash. It never was. But there was something about seeing her… her like that to me. Only in my nightmares. It hurts so bad. It did not make it hurt any less to hear her yell at her either.

“Stupid nightmares” she muttered. She kicked the blanket up with her hind legs to send it flying. Draping it down the foot of her bed. Raising her head, she could look back down at her pillow seeing the large spot darker than the rest of its white surface. I really want to stop crying at night. Stop waking up to this. It feels so terrible. This was not the day she wanted to feel terrible. This was supposed to be the start of something good. The time had come to see Dashie.

…A nicer Dashie… I hope.

4.39
Get out of this damn bed. Leave behind all the sadness and loneliness the night gave her. So Soul leapt out of it without a moment’s rest. Standing on all fours under the glow of the sunlight, awake and ready.

Today is a new start. I know what I need to do today. Keep going at it and don’t shy away. In the end, I know I will get what I want. I’ll prove it. Even starting with a nice stretch. Just loosen up her legs and wings. They had to be readied for today. Especially her wings. They would have a lot to do, and this always feels amazing to do. It was stupid of me to not do it for so many months. A nice return to it.

She breathed hard. Smiling about how good she felt. Wiping away what was left of her tears, she faced towards the fireplace. Still burning behind the large basin Soul had set out in front of it before going to bed. But it looked to be smaller than it should be. It needed more fuel. I need that thing to be roaring! She brought the pile of wooden boards inside just for this. They lay there propped up on their sides against the edge of the fireplace. Neatly set up by Soul before going to bed. Better than sitting around feeling like shit over the stupid things I did yesterday.

She walked over to them. Gently brushing her wing over the side of the basin, whose edge was as high as she was. Low enough for her to look in as she passed. Good! The snow had all melted inside it. All the hooffuls of snow she dumped into it all gone, doing just as she hoped. All night long, plenty of time for it all to melt. It looked to be enough. It actually made her pause. Curious to see how well her plan worked. Reaching one of her hooves high over it edge, she dipped it in. Part of me is scared it’s gonna be freezing cold water. Though she was not expecting a miracle. Nothing like the bathwater back home, how VI miss that. But it felt okay as it was. A mildly lukewarm feel to her hoof. As good as I can get it. In due time.

She continued to the fireplace right behind the basin. Alright this won’t be as hard as last night. Just pull them over and toss them in. No dragging them halfway across the room.

4.40
She tapped her hoof against the closest board, pushing until it finally fell over with a clank. Rushing over to the head of the board, reaching down and clamping her mouth down on the board’s tip. Pulling with all her strength and a tiny grunt to move the board, twice her size, in front of the fireplace. Whatever Blight got these from certainly was from somewhere new. These were the largest chunks of wood yet. Was this some sort of test? No, Blight was probably just running out of small stuff. I just hope we won’t run out of things to burn. That would be hell having to… deal with all this with no fire. Just hiding under the covers. No way.

Soul reached down with both forelegs, edging the tips of her hooves underneath the board’s underside until she was able to prop it up and slide her legs underneath. Like she was hugging it. She knelt down to firmly place her chest against its length and let her wings loose. Floating up with ease. No big board could beat these puppies.

Good enough. No need to go too high. A kick of her hind legs and the help of her wings, then she was able to throw the board in. Landing it right in the fire to bury beneath it what was left of the ashen wood already inside. The fire roared. Looks good.

She was able to toss in a few more boards, enough to keep it going for a while. And I’m getting tired of picking these damn heavy things up.

“Alright.” Turning her head back to the basin. She ran around it and set her hooves against it. Pushing hard to get it to move, which it did, slowly. It certainly was a lot of water. She kept pushing. Stopping when she heard it clang into the rock finish of the fireplace and could go no more. That should keep it warm. One last thing. I need a rag.

4.41
Ah, that’ll do. My blanket. She ran back to her bed. Pulling the blanket down, firmly placing both of her forehooves down on it and moving till she found a clean looking part of her blanket. She pressed down harder to keep it in place. Sorry, blanket. You have been serving me well, but gotta use you for something else. Her teeth grabbed hold of the corner of it. It wasn’t too thick and certainly was old. This should be able to work. Still keeping it planted on the ground, she reeled her head back with a hard tug. Strong enough… the blanket tore so loudly. There was a big tear in the threading now just below the corner she bit down on. This will work.

A good wind up and she tugged again. Then another. Each time, the blanket ripped further. Her legs readied for another big pull. Put her entire weight into it. One more time. She pulled hard. The rip was so loud. Oh crap! Soul stopped herself from falling back with the piece of blanket now torn clean off and dangling in her mouth. Ugh, finally got it. Soul shook her head. Breathing a bit fast. Man, sure has been a while since I did any work like this. Pushing and carrying and pulling all this stuff around. I haven’t worked out in a long time. That was pretty bad.

This piece of the blanket will do. Soul brought it over to the basin. Gently placing it down over the basin’s edge. Another test of her hoof proved the water had no gotten any warmer. That’s pretty bad. Please don’t be too cold.

4.42
Soul climbed over the edge. Be really careful climbing over it. It would still be a disaster if this fell over. Just like it was a disaster that this water wasn’t warm, stepping down into it. Oh my Celestia! That is cold. Almost made her leap out. Reeling back a little from the feeling. That was pretty chilly. But I’m not getting out. Already starting to get used to it.

Now… I need more than just my legs. It sounded terrifying to her. This was going to suck. But just at first. She knew this. What was a little moment of cold? Anything to get out of this whole mess. Time is here to turn things around, go back to how I know I should be. At least get clean first. Blight always did say how messy I am. All this blood on me… it’s true. There’d be no chance of going back to Cloudsdale a filthy, bloody mess. I’ll come back the same way I left so Dash will never see how bad I got. Like nothing happened at all. Alongside that, she would actually start to feel better. So just jump in.

Soul kicked her hind legs against the ground, pushing herself up and over the basin’s edge. Her entire body falling right in the water with a splash sending water to soak the carpet surrounding it. Not even fully in the water and that was hard enough. So c-cold. Enough to shiver and she gasped for air. Just the shock of it. Her whole body freaked out just like her wings. As if they were trying to take her out of the water. That was not gonna happen. Soul stayed put. Suffering through the almost painful amount of freezing chills coursing like electricity throughout her. Grinding her teeth and squeezing her eyes shut as her body shook, …then, thankfully it calmed down.

Soul sighed. Slowly opening her eyes. Feeling total relief that her body at last got used to the water. Very quickly actually. She actually sat down now. Dragging her tail down under and pressing her back up against the wall of the basin. Wow, it felt like it was beginning to warm up. Take a breather. Watch the water swish around her wings and shoulders. Silent. Peaceful. Then it came. She liked it now.

“Ahhh” she moaned laying back a little more. It had been too long. Too long since I took a bath. That lovely feeling such soothing water. It would be better if it were hot though. Sitting in this makeshift tub, only makes me want my big one again with all the steam and hot water. Like a sauna. It was awesome.

I really miss saunas. Stuff like that, it was all back home.

4.43
Soul splashed her hoof around. Lost in the motion of the water splashing and moving about with her. Watching in wonder at how all the small little pieces of dirt and debris lodged in her fur so naturally came out and left to float or sink in the water. Feeling cleaner already. She brought both her hooves together underwater, quickly bringing them up and splashing a wave of water right into her face. That cool touch making her jump a little. Feeling all that water rinse down her face. It still kind of felt good. A big shock of cold to her and then… like her face felt better. She splashed it up again, only to get her mane wet as well. Got to get used to how cold the water was. Close enough.

“Well, best get started” she said. She eased herself further in the water and slid sideways to lay on her side. Now she could actually reach her back. Taking that rag in as well. She clasped it with both hooves and went ahead scrubbing away. Not even a minute… she paused and stared. Wow. The water was almost brown now. Going back to scrubbing all along her side and to her wing. Going around her wing and getting every single spot. Her back proved to be difficult, but she managed.

I wonder, do I have to clean… that? It was still relatively new. It shouldn’t be dirty. But I have to get under my wings. Oh, I should clean it. I admit… hehe, I want to see it again. It made her so giddy. Just loving any moment she got to look at it. There’d be no reason to not be in love with it.

She raised her wing. Presenting the filthy fur tucked in down there alongside a patch that was as black as ash.

But that was no ash.

Seeing it in all its glory hidden from the world beneath her large wings, like a brand to her flanks. It is so beautiful. Soul smiled so wide down at it.

Her cutie mark!

4.44
I just love how it looks. No way this wasn’t her cutie mark. It has to be. It took a long time trying to figure out what it had been ever since yesterday. I never knew what it would be like to get one. That shining light and warm feeling. Then realizing what it was. She got to go to bed smiling last night.

That glow of red with the great black bursting across her whole flank. Looking down at it, seeing the beauty of her mark shining bright from three things deep inside the mark. Three bright, red hearts, one below the other two. Looked like they were in a triangle… but upside down. Burning bright upon her flank. Gorgeous and… surround in darkness. That is what she didn’t get at first.

Blackness all along her flank. So much of it flowing out of those hearts. It was even scary to look at at first. But now… now it looked so cool and… strange. Never thought she would have such a huge cutie mark. It went all the way down her thighs and even, a little embarrassingly, along her butt. Coiling and writhing like vines, …or maybe fire. No… it looked like thorns. It really did. Black thorns left in a trail around and behind the triad of hearts. It’s so weird. Hearts and vines? Red and black. And why is it so big?! My own cutie mark.

But none of that mattered because… it sure was cool!

I could not have asked for a better mark. The hearts looked so cute, sure, but… the vines. Black vines! So awesome. Yeah it looked cool but… she looked away from it. The problem...

That’s all I know about my mark.

Everypony always said you get your mark when you discover your special talent. But…

What is mine?

It just… appeared. What did I do special that day? Besides trying to kill myself. It was an eventful day. Yet nothing that happened fit with this mark. That was scaring her. Hearts and black vines? What the hell does that mean? What talent is that?

“What did I do to deserve you?” she asked of her cutie mark. Maybe the other ponies were wrong. Or not entirely truthful. This only happens once a lifetime. How am I supposed to know anything about it? Did I discover my talent? Or… it hurt to think about. I have nopony to explain this to me. She wished she knew. She really wanted to understand what the meaning behind this awesome mark may be. Have something to say to Dash when she showed it to her. Since Dash and I needed to still discover our talents. I finally got my mark, yes Dash would be jealous. But… I got nothing to say. Dash probably will already have her own mark too. Something cool as well. Finding her own talent. Whatever it is. I just wish… you would tell me what my talent is, she looked down at the mark. I want to know.

I want to feel special.

4.45
She gently scrubbed the rag over her mark. Being sure to clean it well and caressing the feel of it against the newly recolored fur of her flank. Keep it nice and clean. This cutie mark, even if it meant nothing right now, it still is important to me. She turned herself over, cleaning her other side as well as she did the previous. Lifting the wing on this side now to reveal her second cutie mark. A perfect replica of the one of her other side to mark her left flank. Putting care into cleaning this one as well. Two marks, no talent. Soul sighed. I was happy to get it and sad to not know what it was.

I need to go home, figure it out. The greatest moment of any pony… it’s mine now.

I have my cutie mark!

I’ll figure it out. I know I will. All ponies learn their talent. I will too. But… just need to get home.

That was the best she could do to clean herself. Just get rid of the dirt and move on. To her legs this time. She went over each one from thigh to hoof. Massaging her fur and scrubbing out all the blood stains. Get that crap off my beautiful fur. Next came her tail. Running the tips of her hooves through the many hairs and pressing down to try and straighten them. All she could do. Not like I have shampoo or anything I used to use. Just water. My tail will never look as nice as it used to.

The same had to be done for her mane, which she was well aware what she’d have to do. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and dunked her head down under. Just staying submerged for a few seconds to get her mane drenched and she lifted her head back out with a long gasp. Opening her eyes to find her violet mane left dangling down against her face. She flipped it back, running her hooves through it all to do her best to fix it up. Push some strands aside. Pull them back. Bringing some into a thick mess that she worked hard to straighten out and pull them forward. Happy to see some of her mane coming down in thick bangs over her eye just as she liked it.

Would be nice to have some conditioner!

4.46
It wasn’t perfect but… I feel so much better now. Looking up and down her fur and tail still soaking in the water. They were good looking at least, no dirt or blood. No tangles! That’s a relief. But now came the hard part. I still have to do that. I used to always leave this for later. Wait till I absolutely needed to do it. But… this damn place. It sure has done a number to them. I have to clean them.

Her wings.

This was going to be the worst. She could tell just by looking over them. All her feathers were a mess. Some even broken and in need of being pulled for new ones to grow. Then came the spans. Their fur as messy as the rest of her body had been and some hints of blood still sprayed across the right one. It all needed to be cleaned and settled.

These… these are my pride. The best parts of my body. I always loved them. Maybe loving these wings more than most pegasi or all of them, and I haven’t been taking care of them?! After all the effort to make them look good back home. Make other pegasi glitter-eyed. No excuse to slack off here. They need to be beautiful. Because they deserve it. No matter what.

4.47
Her right wing unfolded. Its great length reaching high out of the water and folding over to place itself before… before her mouth. So close. Able to see everything. All the feathers sitting there in the untended rows just waiting for her. Like the entire wing was begging her. Only one thing was holding her back. How painful this will be.

She looked all over it. Peering deep into the thick fur blanketing the tender flesh beneath. Soaking in the ‘tub’ had worked well enough. No dirt was left. Just glossy and wet fur. At least I don’t need to mess with those areas. Good news. One that did not last. Soul’s heart plummeted when she looked to examine the flesh on the underside of her span, right where all her feathers protruded. It was so red. Swollen. With tiny marks and blisters present everywhere. Some worse than others. Looking the worst just under some of her damaged feathers whose roots had been pulled or broken.

Oh why? Irritation and it had to be around the most sensitive parts of her wing. I always hated doing this. Even just soothing around a hoofful of feathers was tough enough. She literally could see dozens of feathers working together to irritate her skin. All these very same feathers needed to go as well with how damaged they were. The thought of pulling all of them, oh… sickening. She gulped. “Come on, Soul. You can do this.” Do it for Dash. Do it so my wings look as awesome as they used to be.

One moment. She breathed. Three more moments. Okay… here I go. She reached down a little more. Feeling the soft touch of her magenta feathers against her nose as she buried her mouth deep into their midst. She guided her way to the closest feather that had to be removed. Grabbing onto the feather with her teeth. Could already feel her mouth shaking in fear.

Just pull it out. Just pull. A second of pain is all it would be. She tugged a little, feeling the skin of her span rise up with the feather and warn her. Oh… man. That alone made her wince. Okay…

Do it for Dashie.

4.48
Soul shrieked in pain, her forelegs cringing and her wing twitched once. She let out a strong gasp and yelped again.

“Ahh!”

The broken feather fell out from her mouth and glided to land on the water’s surface. Silently floating. It still hurt. Dying down quickly but still there. Forcing the filly to keep her eyes shut and curling her lip. Until she slammed her hoof down in the water to splash some against her face as everything calmed down. The pain was gone. As if the stinging she was just feeling had been numbed.

“One… down.” No rush… to get… to the next one. So she guided her head back in to where the first feather had been rooted and began to gently lick the reddened skin. I remember how to do this. Took a lot of time to learn it. I used to suck at this as a foal. The only painful part of preening now was what she had just done. There was still some pain from her touch but not enough to make her stop as she softly glided her tongue to sooth the blemishes on her skin. If only a day can come when I can do this with no pain at all. Such stupidly painful preening. I miss how it used to be.

Nimbus… she was always the one who did this for me. She was so good at it that there was almost no pain. All because of how sensitive these wings are. But that mare did it so skillfully. Always trying to teach me how to do it but I always needed her in the end.

I miss her.

Doing this, it only reminds me of her. I have to do it all on my own now. Just trying to do it how she did it for me. Nimbus… you really were so nice to me. So caring.

I wonder how my mother would have been teaching me how to do this. Would she be gentle? Would it even hurt? No, don’t even think that. She’s gone. I’ll never have a mother to teach me. Never… she wiped a tear away. From the pain… or something else. All I can do is try to get home.

Another feather came out in her mouth. As awful as the last. Soul shook her head this time. Racking her brain to ignore the blaring pain so she could start licking the spot this feather came from. Her eyes glanced over down the rest of the length of her wing seeing all the other damaged feathers. It made her groan while she licked. Anything for beautiful wings.

4.49
Wish this would go faster. I always did suck at doing this. Just to have gorgeous wings. Hmm… gorgeous wings. I wonder. Does Soulblight preen too? She must have at some points. The black mare spending a lot of her time hiding away in her house, …or, well, me hiding from her all the time. Those black wings of hers, they are always so beautiful. I admit, when I grow up, I hope I have big and lovely wings just like those. Thick, always straightened and set in such curved edges that the feathers themselves looked like they could cut through wood. Soul could not recall any time when she spotted anything wrong with Blight’s wings. Like she tended to them often or something.

Wonder if it’s painful for her as well.

All pegasi were born with some natural sensitivity to their wings, her fellow black Pegasus must be sensitive as well. It was hard not to be jealous of pegasi who claimed it didn’t hurt them at all to preen. Saying it actually felt good. Hard to imagine such a damn thing. She would love to have wings like those. Where it could be fun to clean them instead of it being a chore. Making keeping them beautiful something she would look forward to doing a lot. Then maybe my wings would look perfect all the time.

Maybe Blight was one of those pegasi. She had to clean them often so surely they had to feel good to make her do that. So lucky. I need to ask her sometime, she may even know better ways for me to do it. Maybe learn a thing or two to get her wings like Blight’s. That was a nice thought. Sad though. It would have to be when she isn’t mad at me. Not after yesterday. Pull that shit off yesterday and then come to her for beauty tips, Blight would not be happy. I still can’t help but be jealous of her. Blight really was a pretty mare.

All I got is my messy self. Out came another feather.

4.50
This could not come soon enough. Finally being finished.

So glad the last feather was now out. I did well if I do say so myself. It took a while. Straightening out all the other feathers, bending and aligning them. Thickening them up. Both wings left to soak in the water a little with all those removed feathers just floating all around her. Stupid feathers, you were all such big pains. She took a moment to unfold both wings and hold them straight ahead of her face, lancing high into the air. Her eyes went everywhere. All along her spans, noting how all her flesh looked and how the red began to cool down now that they were freed of the feathers that caused all the pain. Each and every feather set one upon another in an unbroken pattern with no gaps and no way to tell that she was actually missing a lot of feathers. I did a pretty good job covering them up. Such a good job.

She smiled widely. Eyes glistening and she was lost in her love of her wings, brought back to their full glory. Oh, what the hell. May as well. She had to lean in and kiss both of them. “We made it, buddies” she said to them with her teeth bared in a grin. She folded them back up. I’m gonna get out. I feel good, I feel cleaner. As good as I can get.

She stood up, her body emerging and then rising up as her wings took flight. Lifting her up and over to set her hooves back down on the carpet. …And it was freezing. Soul shivered immediately. All wet inside this cold house. I forgot how cold it really was in here. I couldn’t even find a towel or anything. The blanket? Might be a good towel. But… oh… I’d soak the blanket. That would blow to have to sleep in a damp blanket when night came. Try to keep warm in… that. I didn’t think this out.

Soul cocked her head. Really? Is that the best way I have to dry off? She sighed.

4.51
“Do I really gotta do this?” This is the best way to dry off. I wish I had a towel. There looked to be no choice. If only we had found a towel or something in another of the houses. Soul stretched her legs out as far as they could go while keeping herself standing. Extending her wings the same way. Exactly like she were about to stretch again. One deep breath. Two. Soul opened her eyes and began to shake herself. Violently. Her entire body sent into a spasm that left a rain shower of water to fly out in all directions from her and soak the carpet and splatter the nearby wall. The fire sizzled with each drop that landed in it.

Soul finished up. Felt a little embarrassed to do that. Oh well. I feel a little drier. Still a bit wet. Looking around at how much water came off her and made a mess of the house. Whatever. Not like I’d do that outside. Going outside while soaked to the bone, that sounded more frightening than preening again. It got the job done. Just let the fire do its work for right now. Soul stepped over to the mirror. Careful not to step upon the small shards of broken glass still laying about underneath the mirror. None of them were big at all, …but they served as a reminder. Making her lurch a little. She shook her head and looked away. Not wanting to have to see them anymore than that. There was too much blood splattered on the carpet anyways to remind her.

She took a good look at herself. Raising her wings, turning her head about to look at every angle of her face in the mirror. Make sure her mane looked good. Everything looked good. She patted her hoof down on her mane to get rid of stray bangs. Even had that spiky look on top of her head. I feel normal again. I look normal again. Her long mane sitting back down over her shoulder and down her chest. Just like I used to look. It made her smile.

One… more thing. Another reminder but one she had to be sure of. I want to know how well it is getting along. She walked in a little closer and raised her head so that her throat was fully revealed to the mirror. Her hoof came up, sweeping aside tufts of fur under her chin till she revealed it. There it was. She could see her wound right there. Her first time seeing it. So this is what I did to myself yesterday. A very long cut dug deep along the entire width of her throat with red and black scabs formed over it. It looked so bloody yet no blood flowed.

This was supposed to make me not feel pain anymore? Looking at it, she felt only pain. Pain seeing such a hideous mark on her soft skin. Such ugly red to stand out in the middle of all that magenta fur. I want it gone. All because I never want anypony to see it. Dash should never have to see this. How long would it take to heal? For this blemish on her body, symbol of her stupidity, to go away. She could only do one thing for now. She hid it.

Setting much of the fur alongside the scar to lock and link until they covered it up completely. She did the same with the rest of her fur. Gliding her hooves along herself to pat down all the fur sticking up so they may all dry without looking like a mess.

4.52
She ended with the fur around her left cutie mark. Happy to see herself completely cleaned and like nothing had happened. Like a whole new pony! Just check one last spot.

She brought one of her forelegs up and examined it. Blindly peering down at the skin underneath the fur and then, …she frowned. “What?” I… I’m being stupid haha!

There… there is nothing on me.

That scar on my neck, that is the only thing I have. There is nothing wrong with my body. It’s just… she lowered her eyes. Still fresh on her mind. All those nights. Seeing all those terrible things. How much it hurt. I… I can still kind of feel it, staring at her leg. Last night.

My nightmare. That’s all it was. None of it… was real. Never.

She shook her head. Get rid of those terrible thoughts. Get rid of them. This was not the time for it. It was best to feel good about myself. I mean, look at me now. She stared at the mirror. She looked beautiful now with wings renewed. Back to the way they were that made the other fillies and colts wide-eyed, and now… now I can do my best to try to get my life back.

Today is the day. The start of it all. Start and keep going until I figure out how to get home. Just like she used to do. It all started with one thing. She turned to the door.

Smiling about it. Step outside as a new pony. She giggled over it. Her legs came to a stop. Planting down hard to make her skid to a halt. She stared dumbfounded at the door.

“That’s right…” I’m still pretty wet. Okay… I’ll dry off first before anything else.

4.53
“Why am I even doing this?” Soulblight asked herself. Wondering it but still not stopping me from doing it. This is my life. There would be nopony to impress with cleaning up these houses. Digging out all the snow keeping them buried. Like she was doing a service to the ponies who used to live here. Sure, I did have this idea a long time ago… not much reason to do it anyways. Soul could just fly down and out of the hole that the porch provided to reach her doorway. Blight had her rooftop hole, and not like we need to look out the windows. So why even bother?

Blight just kept asking herself this as she sent another hail of snow flying with a quick burst of magic, further removing the buildup of snow around Soul’s doorway. Not much of a hole anymore that led to Soul’s door. She spent a good portion of the early morning working on this. Throw all this snow about. Listen to the ponies waking up, I can still hear a lot of them out there. Some less than happy to wake up. Sometimes breaking herself out of her concentration on them to see what progress she made to the thing she envisioned. A staircase of snow leading down to a wide, open area underneath the porch. Wide enough, maybe even wide enough for some chairs or something.

Ha, why even make it look nice? I don’t know. Maybe the idea of having the only nice looking house out here. Something how I would want my own home to look. If I had any house like all those others ponies have. A big space maybe. A yard. Early morning and I got to hear lots of ponies out there going about tending to their yards and homes. Even heard some kids not too happy about cleaning. Sprucing up a house, not at all what a kid wants to do… Soul.

It made her laugh a little inside. How on earth would my own yard even look? Certainly some places to sit. Chairs? No, benches are what they called them. Large enough to sit multiple ponies it seemed. Set out under a tree in the middle of freshly cut grass. Laying there on the bench whilst listening to the sound of the unicorn fountain that shot water out in a geyser from its horn.

…These Equestrians had a unique taste.

I would probably have something more subtle in my own garden. She could not find names to plants thanks to these ponies, just descriptions. Not enough. If anything, I want those red and orange flowers. They sounded beautiful. Keep them well watered and spend time with them so they can grow strong and gorgeous. Look at me. I’m like some sort of giddy mare. Those ponies out there don’t help. Filling my head with this fun stuff. It’s so unlike me. But… I do like it. It sounded so simple. Fulfilling. I can’t help but envy what those mares have.

Someday, I don’t know, Blight smiled. Someday I can see myself like them. Sitting out on the bench and watching younglings play around in my yard. Sitting next to somepony else on that very bench. Just what those two ponies sitting on the bench tell each other. My, my. Whoever that other pony is, sure does sound important to those mares. Just the things I hear. Like they really do appreciate those mares. Stay by their sides. Never leaving them.

I wish I could have that.

Somepony by my side to not to leave me… and, well, to know that they will comfort me when I feel down. Let me know every day that I am special… that there is nothing wrong with me. It sounded… so normal. Something she lacked. Each time she thought of these ideas, each coming as one and making her smile, they were squandered because of who she was. I really… really want a pony in my life. Something like that. Maybe they can take care of Soul with me. Haha, Soul… our young one, oh how foolish. I’m no mother… but it does sound interesting. All of us spend time together… then that pony can take me to bed and… and we could kiss.

4.54
I am totally blushing now… ugh. But it makes me so happy to think that stuff. Even if it could not happen, be unable to feel what the sensation of another’s lips upon her own was like, let alone one able to tolerate her. There was still some sort of solace in the wishful idea of her finding a pony out there who could accept her enough, care for her enough, and actually enjoy her company enough to lead to them being able to kiss and hold one another. Make me feel special after everything. Be together and stand side by side through anything like those ponies did. Soul certainly had a pony out there for her who would do just that.

Being normal was so… easy.

All I can do is hope somepony will not find me too weird. Not try to kill themselves at the thought of being with me. Actually love me. Then I will gladly accept them. All these mares and normal ponies taking such life for granted. Those mares have no idea. Some of them seem too unappreciative. I know I would be the best mare for somepony. Because I will work hard to earn ponies that like me, not waving my tail around at stallions. But…

Whenever one came around to actually like me like that… Blight grinned naughtily.

Maybe I will let them caress my wings. Just have to earn it, they do.

She blushed again but had to laugh anyways. Laugh to ease away that desire in her to wonder what it would be like. Oh… it is hard to dream for things that seem so impossible. Especially after all I have done. What ponies see me as. A freak. Best for them all to leave me like they always do. It would be for their own good.

She kept laughing and laughing until the blush went away. Until all the indecent and hopeful thoughts left her. Just laugh at herself. Just get back to making the village look nice. She raised her head back up.

She saw the yellow eyes.

4.55
Soul was right there. Blight clamped her maw shut. Shutting up for the filly hovering in front of her. Shit, did she see how I was acting? Oh please no. Was I laughing in front of her? I hope it wasn’t too much. Maybe it was all in her mind. But Soul looked a little too lost if that were the case. I was acting like a fool in front of her, wasn’t I? So caught up in her fantasies that kept her going, focused so much on the idea of her having a life made possible by this world, Soul had completely slipped her mind. Not even able to hear her until now.

Soul actually seemed a little happier.

Well I hope she is happy. Took a lot to make her smile. Like making me sad. That really was all it took. Just the idea of leaving Blight behind and rejoining her real friends. Soul had even cleaned up for the occasion. Blight’s eyes going all over the filly’s body seeing just how different she was. Some dirt here and there but her fur was tidy again. A mane back to the way she remembered it. But what really caught Blight’s attention was her wings. Soul had fixed them.

When was the last time they looked so beautiful? All the feathers set back to straightened edges and placed neatly on one another. No more holes or breaks in their midst. Just perfected sheets of the lovely, thick feathers the filly sported. Soft and neat. Soul must have been awake for a while already to have found the time to do all this, and it was still early morning. She was clean, bright and shining with a little more cheer in every move she made. Like a happier filly.

A happy filly? Well… she reminds me a lot like the kids I listen to. Was Soul now like those children? Soul, a happy little filly rising bright and early to enjoy the day and spend it with her family and friends.

If only. It just reminds me… of what she had long ago. Able to wake up and… have something to look forward to. Friends, fun, family. So much has changed. I wish you can be like that again. I wish I could do something for you.

4.56
“Good morning, …Blight” Soul spoke softly. Blight looked up to her. Stunned.

She… she actually greeted me? This should be good.

I don’t know why she sounds so happy saying that to me. A good morning. Sorry but I find it hard to believe she thinks any morning nowadays can be good. Always seeing them more as a chore or an obstacle to get past every day prior to this one. Soul was even smiling a little. The filly still flew there just staring at Blight with that smile. She looked so innocent.

“…Good morning” Blight said back with much hesitation. Somepony want to tell me what is going on? Soul is never like this. Soul giggled. Making Blight widen her eyes. The filly setting back down on the ground right in front of Blight. Leaning forward with that little smile on her, looking up at her and Blight looking down at her but with a frown to meet her smile. Looking up and over her as her attention was drawn to how Soul still flapped her wings in little flutters. Fully presenting them to her. They really did look nice up close. The filly did an excellent job cleaning them.

I suppose she wants me to say something. About what? Her looks? Soul looked to be showing her wings off. Proud to show what she did. Why would she care what I have to say? As long as Soul were satisfied with her own work, it should be good enough. Dash would like it. But the filly did not relent. Still leaning in on her like she were trying to get a hug. Just for a compliment on her wings. Why?

It’s not like Soul ever compliments me. Nopony ever complimented me. I so wish to have a special somepony who would compliment me. Having friends who would appreciate me. That was what Soul wanted?

Her tongue moved against her commands. “You look lovely today.” Soul’s smile grew wider. Damn near ear to ear. Leaning back to normal and holding a hoof to her smiling face. She giggled into her hoof. Those wings standing straight up in pride. Blight still could not smile. Still not happy, but she had to admit it. She was warmed that Soul was feeling better.

Soul did not do this for me. She did it for others.

She did all this for ponies she thinks are worth a damn. Unfortunately, that’s not me at all. Soul made it painfully clear yesterday that my feelings don’t matter.

4.57
Soul folded her wings up, turning to face all the snow around her. Her curious look made it apparent she noticed that Blight had been doing something based off how much snow had been removed around the front of her house and all the new piles of snow laying everywhere. “What have you been up to?” Should I tell her about my fantasies of making all the yards around these houses look cute?

Soul leaned over the edge of the hole. Seeing that something was truly different in how wide it looked now. “I’m… making space” Blight said. Soul walked along the edge leading down to her doorway, running a hoof against the smoothed-out surface Blight had meticulously carved to make a perfect angle. Blight watching her pass by. Her eyes glued to the wings that fluttered mindlessly at her sides. Rising and lowering with the most subtle of care. Rising more. Really they are beautiful… what… Blight’s eyes widened.

The filly’s wings raised. I… I never noticed. What was that? I know I saw something there.

Something black.

Those wings lowered again. Wait… I… I wanted to see. Because… I, there is no way. I must have been seeing things. But maybe… maybe not.

Could it have been…?

“Wow” Soul said. She turned back to face Blight. “You gave me more space! So you’re trying to make a porch for me down there?” Blight looked up to her. Umm but I… she looked back past Soul and to her wing. Trying to see if she could see it again. No. Hidden so well under the feathers along her flanks. I really want to see. …Blight nodded her response.

Soul walked over to where the remains of the ramp were, buried in all the snow fallen over the nights and from where Blight dropped some of the same snow she removed from the sides. Her wings lifted her up so she could hover over the openings and look all around smiling. She was a little too cheerful. There was something about it that was odd. Did the idea of seeing Dash again really have that big an impact on her? Or actually cleaning herself up for once, both maybe? Wish I knew.

“I can see it now” Soul said still examining everything from above. “We could have stairs going up here” she motioned to where the ramp had been placed. “And then maybe find some furniture in the other houses, put them around the door. Oh! And a blanket overhead. Maybe a fire pit.”

Soul knows about this decorating stuff? Sounds like better ideas than what I had. Her excitement was amazing at being able to do this stuff. Like they really were trying to impress somepony or the satisfaction of actually turning these ramshackle houses into homes like Blight could see. Soul flew over to where Blight stood. “Do you think we could?”

“I see no reason why we can’t” Blight said. Soul calmed down. Her smile getting smaller, her eyes glowing. There was something wrong about her face. Or right. I think I have seen this before. Though this time it lasted for a second, it was etched in her eyes. Soul’s… adoration. Just like when we first met.

“Thank you” she said to Blight sweetly. “If you want, I can help you with your house.”

4.58
My house? You mean… that old thing I spend a lot of time in? Oh, that’s not… my house. Was there a reason to improve that one? It was ugly. Barren. Blight saw no reason in having it improved. Maybe a little… Wait.

Soul wants to help me?

I had to have heard that wrong. Never before did Soul offer her assistance in anything. “You want to help me?” Soul laughed a little under her breath before turning to fly off in the direction of Blight’s so-called house. Her eyes watched after her to see the filly land near one of the closest windows with wings outstretched. Baring her body. Baring it… and Blight looked.

She… she saw it.

No way.

It feels like my heart is in my throat. I never… never expected this. There it was.

Soul, she did have a cutie mark.

When did she get that?! Blight stared. Three red hearts and… so much black. All along her flanks. Clouds of black as dark as Blight’s own fur reaching and coiling about her flanks and across her rear. That… that is what a cutie mark looks like. I’m sure of it. Soul had one. Her unique imprint just like Dash had gotten. The sign that both fillies had… so Soul was growing up.

Soul… she must love it and… I didn’t get to see how she loved it whenever it first appeared. I never even knew it appeared. No, that filly just showed it off to her over there. Soul patting her hoof down into the snow that rose to almost cover that window entirely whilst keeping her wings out to expose her colorful flanks.

“Come here” she called for her. Blight did as she asked. Slowly trotting to where the filly waited for her, eyes set upon her flanks and marveling as she got closer to see them until she was in hoof’s reach of them. “See, look” Soul said to her once the distance between the two was closed. Her hoof scraping at the snow, making Blight turn her attention away from the mark, but not before taking one last glimpse of it. Taking it in.

Soul chipped down on the ice built up under the fresh white layer. “Your house is real dark. We gotta get rid of all this snow, open your windows up. You got all this ice on them too.” Her hoof scraped against the ice all over the window. Tiny chips of ice sent flying. Open them up? Well that ice would make it bothersome to lift the windows were they to even unearth them. “It’s gotta be stuffy in there for you. Let some fresh air in and some light. Then…” Soul cut herself short. Quick on her hooves, running past Blight and around the corner until she was out of sight.

Speechless, mindset on this completely different pony, Blight slowly walked after her. She too turned the corner to find the filly snooping around the front side of the house. Feeling her hoof around against the length of the wooden wall just underneath the rooftop. “Your door has to be around here somewhere” Soul said.

I need no stupid door. I do just fine with the hole on the roof. From which plenty of starlight shone in during the night. Even if more could grace her as she sat in there alone if she could have windows open to the world. …A doorway… would give it that little comfort of a home though. It sounded pointless to try and fix up this house, it’s not even my house. But… Soul, the way she acted, it was kind of charming. Like she was being the start to making some place Blight could live. Her thoughts went crazy, in love with what Soul may be suggesting. Even if it were unsightly, turn this ugly place into something else. Haha, it would be like I do own my own home.

“You can have a nice place to live” Soul said. It would be nice. I can even grow that garden if I could. Have the yard I want. Who knows? It could be fun. I know I can use magic to do something for all this. It had done so much in the past. Maybe it could make this dream a reality, and with Soul’s help. A nice inside with a table, chairs. A comfy bedside to lay herself upon… and sit in front of the fireplace… with Soul, sharing a blanket. Not let that filly be alone. Know what it is like again to feel like somepony is there with you. Just… like… she imagined before. Before all the loneliness both pegasi had gone through. We could still care for one another. Be together. Just like those hearts… the ones on Soul’s flanks. Big, burning hearts. Just like how Soul was right now.

This is… that loving filly I remember her to be.

4.59
“It does sound nice” Blight admitted. Looking down at the filly she approached. Watching with joy at the sweet innocence of the little one poking about at her house like an adventurous child. She really was a child again inside of a maturing body. Being kind to her? Do I even deserve this? Perhaps… I did do something right yesterday.

Soul sees that… that I do care for her.

So… we can be friends? She won’t be mad at me when I try to help her. Pretend to be like family to this filly.

Yes, Soul. I saw how you thought so highly of me back then. Back on the mountaintop. Blight found a semblance of comfort knowing she could perhaps be something to her. It was cute that Soul wanted me to be there for her. She could feel a tear go down her cheek which she rubbed away from her smiling face. A smile she was unaware she had. Proud of the filly who had changed so much both inside and out. “I’d love to have your help.”

Soul looked back up. Her mouth open seeing Blight’s face. Yes, I know, I am smiling for once. Soul… she smiled back.

Blight walked past her to look over the face of the wall. Trying to find where the door could be. Completely buried under the snow. I know I can get rid of all this in probably a day but… for Soul, I’ll make an exception and let her help. It did not matter how long it took as long as I can finally do something with this filly after so long.

She bent her knees to lean down at Soul’s height. Looking the filly in the eyes. “It could take some time to get rid of all this snow. You best not pass out on me while working and leave me to do everything.” Soul took none of that. So confident. Glaring up at Blight, matching her smile.

“I don’t give up. You’ll see.” Soul turned around to walk out towards the open snow beyond. Such a strong stride. I… I can’t help but feel so proud of her. She came a long way from yesterday. “I’m gonna get even stronger” Soul proclaimed. You will, and I’ll be there for you.

“Strong enough so I can return home.”

Blight felt empty.

4.60
Soul… returning home. Of course, that is what she wants. She wanted to go back to her original life. That was why… she tried to kill herself. Because she does not want a life with me in it. Being around a freak like me. Never what Soul wanted.

Rainbow Dash was her friend, not me. Not after what I did to her. I feel so much shame for thinking she would ever like me, so stupid to think I can get a friend. There was no way Soul would want me around in her life. It would not come to pass. Soul was going to eventually find a way to return to her original life and leave all this behind. They would not have a home together.

Not in Equestria.

Soul would have Rainbow Dash.

Better to choose her best friend than the one who did nothing but hurt her, even if… if I did try all I could to help her. Even if I was the one who saved her best friend.

Blight felt a tear come down. No, stop it. I have no right to cry. Even if all she wanted was for Soul to just see her for who she wanted to be. Stop believing there was no happiness until she found Dash again. I have so much I can do for her too. Not just Dash. The day would come when Soul would be free… no longer burdened by me. Free of the scars that plagued her, marking all the torment she had to go through just to be able to hug Dash again.

…I want a hug too.

4.61
It was so hard to hold in her tears. Just… just all that filly has done. It’s too hard. Finding her with a damn blade to her throat. Just like now. She felt it all again watching Soul walk out into the snow with her wings outstretched and her snout high up to sniff the morning air. She really is walking away from me. Of course.

Hide it.

Blight breathed deep and wiped her tears. Enough… to be able to speak without her voice breaking. “D-do you want to start now?” They could at least spend some time together. If Soul were actually inclined. She would not force her. She would not force her to be her friend. But maybe, just maybe they could be side by side for a little bit. Just for a little bit until… Soul does not need me anymore. When she was strong enough to fly away. Leave me and all the pain I always bring to ponies who know me. She could be happy then, for those brief periods. Couldn’t she? All these ideas making her cry so hard inside, underneath the fake smile she put on for Soul. Hide away all the sadness Soul was causing her. It hurts to do it but… so what. Let it punish me. Anything to make me see… that I really am an idiot. Just more sadness… and loneliness.

It’s what I… deserve. …She deserves to be happy.

Soul looked back at her. Still smiling, unaware of how much Blight wanted to scream. Seeing nothing wrong. So cheerful. “I can’t right now. I got to train today.” She flashed her wings ever more. Reeling them up and stretching them out. Their feathers blowing in the wind. “Need to get back in the routine.”

Training to go back home. Of course. Keep training until she could fly out and destroy the barriers to her life. That… that could be something we can do together. I can show my support of her wanting to get back to training. She could learn a thing or two from the filly and they could spend some time together.

Blight stepped up. Her will shared with her wings as they too rose and stretched out to cast a great, black shadow over the snow and down upon Soul. “I will come with you” Blight said, almost pleading. “We could train together, it will be fun.”

Soul, what’s she doing just staring at my wings? Come on, tell me you want me to come.

Blight could not hear the filly breathing, she held it in. Soul looked up to her, frowning. Looking almost sad. She did not need to be sad, I’ll be a good flight companion. I promise not to get in the way. Not to hurt Soul. But Soul shied away. Humbly rubbing her leg with a free hoof.

“Blight,… umm… I wanted to train alone.” Blight could feel her eyes explode.

4.62
“I don’t mean to be rude, but… you’re not as good a flyer as me. I don’t think you’ll be able to keep up.” Don’t say that. Don’t say that. There has to be a way to change her mind. Yeah, I’m not so great and yeah you will leave me in the dust, but… I can do other things. Make her laugh. Keep her company. Anything so I can be by your side…

For these last moments we have together.

Soul backed away, head low to the ground. Her eyes hidden behind half-closed lids. “We can do other things together. I just want to fly on my own for a bit.” She turned around. Her violet and silver striped tail slowly flowing in the wind between those two trails of black fire that gave Soul purpose. A feeling Blight lost more and more of the longer their distance grew. She wanted that purpose too. Purpose in another’s eyes that Soul never wanted to acknowledge. That sense of worth placed upon her body too.

“I promise we can work on the house when I get back, you should rest for a bit. Looks like you’ve been working hard all morning.” Her wings beat hard. Sending gusts of snow out to be carried away in the wind and Soul joined that wind. Rising higher above Blight.

I feel like… I’m about to cry my eyes out. She just watched her leave. Not saying a word which was not what she wanted. She wanted to call out after Soul with words left on her tongue under the tears she hid inside that began to escape. “I’ll be back” Soul yelled back as she flew off high into the sky. Turning into a little dot growing smaller the further she got as she left on her way to return… home.

The first step she took, leaving me behind.

I will never be allowed to join with her, not after what I did. Don’t go. Please don’t leave. Don’t fly away. Abandon me… like everypony else! I want to feel like I have worth. Please tell me I’m good enough for you.

She stepped out. Walking in the direction Soul flew. Her great wings held up for as long as they could and they slid to fall on her sides and into the snow. Laying limp just as her head gave way and tears fell down to the snow. Stop… hurting me.

And she shall leave you too.

No. Not like all the others. Please, …love me too.

Soulblight sobbed.

“Come back.”

4.63
“This seems high enough.” Soul came to a stop. Hanging high above the vast expanse of snow below with their village becoming tiny ants from this high up. It felt good enough.

She could feel the wind striking her harder than that pitiful breeze blowing through the village. Not nearly as bad as the wind of the great storms but a good enough mockup of them. She could definitely use it. Something nice to train with once again. Not too tough but… I can feel it will be tough enough to fly through.

Weather like this was nothing to strong pegasi. The Wonderbolts practiced in worse. Just like when I was taken out to train in flying through nasty storms and learn how to beat them.

It’s been so long. But… I know I can do it again. This wind now, it was doing nothing to her. Nothing to throw off her flight. Her newly remade wings doing very well, her muscles fighting back and winning. Even better was how the wind was coming at her from the very direction she wanted it to. Straight in from the mountain range. Every time I trained, I needed something like this. A good training ground.

Those mountains would do just that. Something for this training routine. Ones I have to come up with now. Nopony is here to train me. No, I need to do it myself now. Think of ways to pull this all off. Do a real workout just like I used to. I will train just like I used to. I will do it all again. Never give up.

Nimbus… you taught me well. Even if you aren’t with me anymore, I still remember all you told me. I… I promise to perfect it all. Every technique you entrusted to me. I won’t neglect it anymore.

You wanted me to have a friend… well, I will again. I will train just like you taught me and use everything to return back… back to my home. No light workouts. No fooling around. Out here, I will do everything. This world… it will be my training ground. It gives everything I need and then some.

4.64
She spotted the tallest of the mountains far ahead behind a veil of misty clouds. Its great, white peak rising high and strong over all the clouds. Just as she wanted it to do. I’m gonna fly in this weather to it. But that was not enough. More was needed. I know what to do.

“Two minutes.”

One hundred twenty seconds to get there. Yeah, that sounded like something I can do. It only seemed to be only like a city away. She could fly the expanse of Cloudsdale in less time. A longer distance, this weather, perfect.

Soul glanced back at her wings. Their elegance and beauty betraying how strong the muscles were that she spent years working on, and they would get better. Good enough to take her all the way home. So big and strong that no achievement Dash had done could allow her to talk any trash when they were home together.

Home. I will do anything to have my life back. I will beg Dash to forgive me… and then I will do the same for the princess. Explain everything and the princess would let me stay home. I will do it all with these wings. Her love for them as strong as ever. Her encouragement for them to do their best returned to do all they did back when she trained daily.

“Alright, gals. Make me proud.” Two minutes. Starting… now!

4.65
Soul blasted off. Straight ahead at the mountain beyond.

It closed in slowly. Soul watching it, trying really hard to keep her eyes upon its mighty expanse for she was really tempted to shut them. But she would not. She had to be strong even as the icy cold wind lashed her face with a tear sent out to disappear far behind her. Back in the great trail Soul left behind. Her wings flapping and pushing. Legs reaching out to the vast mountain far beyond. Cutting right through the air. She could practically see the clouds rip apart as she ran into them. With tiny snowflakes sent to pelt her fur and chilling water splashing hard over her, and she would not stop.

Ten. Eleven. Soul counted in her head. Keeping her mind set on those numbers and her eyes glued on the mountain which, had been far away to begin with but looked to be very slowly getting closer. A little worrying. It’s taking too long to get there.

No. There was no time to be worried. First rule of high speed flying: never get distracted by anything. Focus on the goal. The mountains, two minutes. Twenty. Soul spotted a group of clouds ahead. Darker and wider than all the others. Filling her vision while the mountain top rose up and behind them. All the snow coming down around them in a great flurry with even more snow falling from above by the thick blanket of clouds even higher than Soul was. Overcome it.

Soul ripped right into those dark clouds sending gusts of intense wind to tear apart the snow. She kept her concentration. Fifty. Her wings wobbled. Great blasts of wind spiraling like mad around her with every step she covered in that dark world within the clouds. No longer could she see the mountain or anything below. Just grey darkness of fluffy and soft puffs of cloud zipping by her. The sight of them swaying and listing as her wings struggled to keep her straight in all the intense wind. Almost like all this crap is trying to fight me. Trying hard to push her back. Yet Soul lost no speed. I can tell. Her mane whipping in her face harder. Wings pushing harder, and Soul readjusted her legs to straighten herself out. Fighting back against the wind. This was no worse than the storms back home. I can do this. She was stronger than before and her practice would prove it.

Soul squinted. Her wings and body fully adjusted to angle the oncoming wind simply over her and she tore in through the clouds in more and more. Ninety. Only thirty seconds left. Come on, wings. We can do this. Flying though continuous streams of cloud, staying on her path with no deviation in her wings which got used to it enough to begin flapping harder and the wind struck her face worse in response. Getting faster now. Keep it up! I can do it. Watching ahead to make sure nothing changed in her flight. Her hooves still firmly in front of her face piercing the clouds like lances. Until she could see light. She could do this!

Ten seconds left.

Ten seconds and… Soul could feel it. Oh no, my wings. They felt weak. Already! No, no, Soul pleaded them on. “Come on, buddies.” Keep doing your best. We never gave up on this stuff before. Fly like I always used to. Like we used to.

Her face lighting up as the clouds tore away to give way to the light of the Sun… and the mountain top sitting amidst its range…

Far away. Soul frowned.

4.66
The filly landed atop the flat surface of snow that marked the mountain. Her favorite mountain from which to stand upon and watch the snowfall on more quiet days. All four of her hooves gently set down with soft pats and her wings came to rest at her sides.

One hundred and eighty-six.

Soul finished counting. All that was left was to breathe. Breathe and shake her head. All that work and intense flying tuckered her out leaving the filly to fall back on her rear and pant. Tongue laying on her chin. A hoof to swipe at the sweat that was actually built up.

Now I remember how it is to fly in bad weather.

It sure was an experience and really worked wonders on the wings. Their spans beat from their workout. I swear though, I got too tired too quickly. I should never have gotten so sore that early. It really has been too long since she worked out. Long enough to fail in her goal. Her wings had failed. But she was not mad. Soul actually began to laugh.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” she screamed.

Oh Celestia, I can feel it again. The adrenaline. That rush. Like electricity over her bones. She missed this feeling. Damn near forgot how it was. Always loving it after all her training with Nimbus. That training the two pegasi always did leave her feeling just like this. Like I did something amazing. Even if she failed, she felt accomplished. Her wings were tired. Her heart racing.

Back in the saddle. Like I’m back in Cloudsdale. Just like her first time training as an incredibly young filly just out of her foal years. I… I’m back at it again. Hahaha, how I missed this!

I flew like this long ago. Like my first goes at flying. This feeling. And wanting to get better, I just need to keep trying. Just what Nimbus always told me. Her wings would get better. She’d be able to fly through bad weather like that with ease.

Soul stood back up, walking over to the side edge of the mountain looking out at the vast and dense expanses of giant mountains flooding out into the distance before ringing over to her right and joining with the mountains on the other side. This great ring surrounding the empty crater. So much open space in these mountains. So much potential. Some ponies could say this messed up looking place with all the stuff in the way and hard places to fly through was something like… an obstacle course.

That was it!

4.67
I have an idea. I can use them all for that. An open sky to train and a clustered course created by nature itself. She smiled giddily. Intense obstacle training just like the Wonderbolts. They had speed, yes. But Soul knew she needed more. They had more. All great Pegasus flyers had more.

I need to get my stamina back, for sure. No more tiring out so easy. Fly these mountains as the course they were to provide her with the same experience she would get twisting and dodging across a hazardous training ground. Wing control, precision, most importantly: agility. She could use all of that. Dodge the hazards of the great storms while her speed did the rest and not get tired till she reached the wide, open world of freedom. I slacked for too long.

“Endurance.” What did that? Soul thought of something.

She leaped back to a roomier part of the mountaintop, good enough to stretch her legs out before she did the same with her wings. Both of them falling and placing themselves upon the snow under her. Setting the tips of them firmly in the snow until it were like she had an extra pair of legs. That did not last as Soul’s forelegs curled up and she held them tightly to her chest. A Pegasus holding herself up by her wings.

Alright now Dash, we used to do fifty for warmups at camp. I’ll do sixty. Soul fell down to the ground, letting her wings buckle and she careened close to her chin slamming down. She stopped short. Her wings grew strong again and they pushed her back up. Then again. Again. Soul kept it up. Counting each time she pushed herself back up. Feeling the burn run across her wings and over into her back. Like a flood of hot water. It felt good. Each time she let go serving as a chance to exhale deep into the snow, and then inhale as she pushed herself up.

Good, old fashioned wing-ups. A real warmup. Those silly colts always doing this just to impress the fillies with such small numbers. I used to always do it alone. For this very feeling. Like my wings are strong. Like they also missed feeling this way. Pushing her up faster as each number went through Soul’s head. Fifty-eight, fifty-nine, sixty.

Soul’s last push stronger than the rest to send her body jumping up in the air and land back upon her hooves. Haha, I can feel it. Soul looked at her wings. Both of them shaking. Damn near pulsing. Working out after so long. That would not be the end of it. No more being lazy with them. Soul ran back to the edge, her intention to look over the mountain range being the one thing stopping her from leaping off into flight. Smaller ones there, large one there, very twisty turns all over. A piece of cake. It took Soul hours to fly the length of this range before, but that was just a stroll. Full power now. Back to the good ol’ days. Wings pumping at her sides ready to go. I can do this in no time. Get to the other side. Simple. Avoid all the mountains and keep on the path. Just like dodging clouds.

So Soul took off again with a smile on her face.

4.68
“Whoa!” She almost hit that mountain. Turning hard around the previous one had kept the next one hidden until she was right on top of it. Yes, I was able to sense it!

I still have it!

Her wings throwing aside incredible amounts of wind hitting the sides of every peak she passed around. Hearing snow fall from mountain faces behind her. Blasting by them and rumbling the earth. Every mountain she skillfully dodged around making her laugh. Turning the corner of a pair of tall peaks presented even more that she curled around, keeping as close to them as she could with her back almost licking the side of their snowy faces. Sheets of snow rippling and sent flying by the force of her flight.

Left. Right. Left. Left.

Soul maneuvered perfectly. Making only a few close calls that made her heart jump and turning that moment of fear to thrill. Thrill that made her cry out in excitement. Her voice carrying far and wide through the mountains. Like flying through clouds again. Dodge and dodge with none of the obstacles able to stop her. Mountains and then passing those blackened trees that dotted these mountain ranges. Her eyes quickly glancing over to her side in time to catch the trunks of them wobble as she passed. Another good obstacle. I am loving these mountains!

Soul looked back in time to spot another peak she was about to plummet right into. So close she could touch it, …plenty of time.

Soul’s wings skidded to a halt and beat hard on a rightward path sending the filly off on a sharp turn just short of slamming right into that mountain. It was too close. That turn coming soon enough as Soul could feel for a split second as the tip of her left wing scrape the side of the mountain. Its edge scraping away portions of rock to tumble to the earth below. Soul hugged the face of the mountain. Letting out a sigh of relief. That can’t happen again. Don’t get distracted. Just look all over constantly, never lose my attention for even a second.

Know… everything that is around me… like I did long ago.

Take it all in. Soul closed her eyes. Sighing.

I got this. All thanks to you, Nimbus.

But I was better once. I need to be that way again. No mistakes at all. Keep practicing, try over and over until she could do this with no error. Soul took a quick glance at the mountain she skimmed along. Not too close to it, …but I just know I will be as good as I used to be. Better. Good enough to fly these parts with no trouble. I can do it.

The closer she was, the harder to see what was ahead as she turned the corners. But she did it as is. Laughing with glee. Feeling truly alive and nothing could hold her back. Not even herself. It would not happen again.

4.69
She kept hugging the mountains. Going through so fast, there’d be no way ponies could see me fly by when I go this fast. It’s almost like how I used to be. The same feeling I used to have.

How I love this.

Flying high into the sky with a shriek of joy. “Oh yeah!” Her hooves stretching out, swaying in the air even as she turned her wings to circle her belly-up to the sky and come back down. Her face going right to the top of a mountain coming in so close. Looks like I would crash, ha… but I have this. Something to laugh about.

Coming in fast with her tail whipping in the wind, all her fur flowing like grass in a breeze, …and it all came to a stop. Soul’s wings tugged the air. Propelling her right-side up. Gently falling down with small flaps. Landing neatly on the snowy mountaintop as well as she did the previous one. Panting just as hard as she did back there. Accomplishing all of this with skill and grace. I did it.

I can’t believe… I still have it. After all this time. Nimbus would be proud. I’m proud. Proud even as she stared out past the mountains she stood among, past the open plain of white snow beneath the mountain ranges from where lightning crisscrossed the sky in a thunderous boom. All the black clouds ahead setting upon one another, weaving an endless veil standing between the filly and freedom. Soul laughed at it.

She laughed feeling all her pride with how great of a flyer she truly was. This being just the beginning. My wings feel so strong again. They were going to get stronger. Just that storm wait and see. I’m going to kick its ass. That storm will be no worse than the mountains I just beat. I just need to be perfect, and I will do it.

Her forelegs folded up again. From her new vantage point, Soul did her wing-ups. Sixty more. She counted, laughing in her head with a big smile on her face. Wind blasting over her and sending all the fur and hair of her body in a frenzy that could not stop her from her training. Never stop her again. I’ll never stop!

I will train every day again. I will get better every day. Until the day comes when my wings are so good that no storm can stop me. I will be the fastest… I will be the strongest. Just like in my dream. My dream. It never did die.

No matter how bad a pony can have it, they can always become the best. I will do that, I promise. I will do it for you, Dashie. “I’m gonna do it.”

Soul stood upon her hooves, looking out to the sky beyond. The sky… over this snowy land.

“I’m gonna do it! …No matter how long it takes!”

Next Chapter: Part 2 Entwined - Act 5 Estimated time remaining: 31 Hours, 26 Minutes