Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: A New Universe
Chapter 24: Lisa Lisa, the Enigmatic Hamon Teacher
Previous Chapter Next Chapter"Eyes Wide Open!," Thomas called out as he activated his Stand to get a good look inside Joseph. What he saw did not make him happy. "I'm afraid it's as Esidisi said. That ring is fused to your carotid like some four-dimensional puzzle. No current surgical procedure could possibly remove it, and I doubt there's time to develop one that could. I can also see a hollow spot inside the ring where the poison is located. It doesn't look like any I'm familiar with."
"Guess there's nothing for it," Joseph said, "Defeating Esidisi is the only way I'm gonna be able to remove this thing. I mean, I doubt he's just gonna give me the antidote after going through all that trouble. Damn, what a mess. I learned enough to master the basics of Hamon, but it looks like I'll need more specialized training." "Which is precisely why we're calling upon the services of an expert Hamon teacher," Zeppeli explained, "The same one who taught my grandson, in fact. It's only a short trip from here to Venice, so we won't waste much time."
A few days later, Joseph and Caesar found themselves in Venice, traveling to Air Supplena Island. "My granddad told me all about the island," Joseph noted, "It's supposed to be a place designed to train Hamon users. The main feature is the Hell Climb Pillar." "That will likely be the first challenge," Caesar said, "If we can't pass that, we'll likely die." "I'm dead in thirty-one days anyway," Joseph reminded him, "I've really got nothing to lose." Caesar nodded, then turned his attention to a nearby gondola. "Excuse me. We need a gondola to Air Supplena Island."
The gondolier turned to the duo, revealing a masquerade mask. "Then I hope you're prepared," came a feminine voice from the mask, "Because I won't be going easy on your training." The figure whipped off the mask to reveal a beautiful young woman. Caesar gasped. "Coach Lisa Lisa!? You're going to be teaching us!?" "She's your teacher!?," Joseph asked in shock, "She looks barely older than we are!" "I think Jonathan said the same thing about Grandfather when they first got to know each other," Caesar said with a chuckle, "Take it from me, she's a true master in the art of Hamon. Everything I know, I learned from her. And she knows even more than that."
As if to demonstrate, Lisa Lisa leapt onto the water, standing on the oar like it was a solid plank. She then leapt again, the water rising with the Hamon and turning the oar into a makeshift parallel bar before landing on the pier. "Joseph Joestar," Lisa Lisa said, "I've heard about your training from your grandfather. You've mastered the basics, so the hard part is already over. But don't think that means I'll go easy on you. If you wish to become a warrior capable of destroying the Pillar Men, you'll need to face the most brutal experience a person could ever endure."
Soon enough, the group was reaching Air Supplena Island by yacht. "I've heard the stories from Granddad," Joseph said when he beheld the giant fortress, "But to see it close up." "Everyone from our group will be staying here while we train," Caesar noted. "Which leaves Granny Erina out of the loop," Joseph noted, "Again..." "Actually," Jonathan said, "This time Speedwagon decided to stay behind to assure her of our safety. He said he's gotten too old for this sort of adventure."
As the group disembarked on the island, Lisa Lisa led Joseph and Caesar to the Hell Climb Pillar. "Both our grandfathers and Aunt Twilight challenged this pillar and succeeded," Joseph noted, "But Grandpa said it was no easy experience." "Indeed," Caesar replied, "I've heard of many trainees dying when they tried challenging the pillar. They say the only way to climb it is with Hamon. It rejects all other means, violently. It'll be difficult, and we may not even survive the climb."
"Like I said earlier," Joseph reminded him, "I'm dead either way, so we may as well challenge the pillar to the best of our abilities." Lisa Lisa smiled. "Since you are both determined, we'll begin the challenge." The door opened, and the two Hamon users leapt down into the pit of oil. As they began breathing to prepare for their climb, Lisa Lisa joined Applejack and Twilight at the top of the pillar. "So, Miss Lisa Lisa," Applejack said, "Just what is this pillar, anyway?"
"It was first constructed in AD 39," Lisa Lisa explained, "Back during the Roman Empire, and before Venice was even established. As you can see, the pillar is so smooth it's nearly impossible to find a fingerhold to climb normally. Making things more difficult, a constant stream of oil flows from the top, collecting in the pool below. A special system is put in place so that the oil that collects at the bottom will be taken back up to the top to continue flowing. The only way to climb it is to use Hamon. This is set up as a test of Hamon stamina."
Several times throughout the day various members of the group came and went to check on Joseph and Caesar's progress. "How long did it take you to climb the pillar?," Applejack asked Zeppeli. "Quite some time," Zeppeli admitted, "Most who succeed in climbing the pillar take two or three days to do so. I was done in two days and twelve hours. Jonathan was faster, in just over two days and ten minutes. Even Twilight needed four hours past the two day mark to reach the top. Given the pace those two are making, I wouldn't be surprised if they reach the halfway mark by day's end."
"Of course," Twilight said as she came in, "The real challenge isn't even the oil. Anyone skilled in Hamon can learn the trick to climbing up in spite of that. The real challenge comes in the deceptive layout of the pillar. From up here or down in the pit, the eye is fooled into thinking the pillar is an even width all the way down. Once you climb the pillar, however, you realize that it starts to protrude out more as you reach the top. Not to mention, while there are cracks in the pillar, they hold traps that make it even more difficult to climb, though not impossible."
"The good news," Zeppeli said, "Is that while using Hamon to climb the pillar, most of your body's biological clock slows down even more than usual. Because you're using it for so long, you can go longer without food or needing use the bathroom." Soon enough, the duo were relaxing at the twenty meter mark, fifty-two hours having passed. "We're at the marathon now," Caesar noted, "Four meters to go straight up, but the incline is increasing. At its widest, the Hell Climb Pillar is seven-point-two meters in diameter." "Don't talk about the numbers," Joseph said, "Or I may get dizzy enough to fall off and have to start all over again. And I really don't have the time or patience for that."
Eventually, after a total of sixty-one hours, the two of them managed to reach the top of the Hell Climb Pillar. "Well done," Lisa Lisa said as they finally dusted themselves off at the top. She handed them both a glass of water. "Go ahead and observe your new level of skill. Use the same technique you used to climb the pillar to keep the water in the glass." Breathing, Joseph channeled his Hamon through his fingertips, keeping just them against the glass as he twirled it upside-down. Sure enough, he was able to keep the water stable within the glass. Caesar was doing the same.
"But you still have farther to go," Lisa Lisa noted, "For the next three weeks you'll be under the tutelage of my two servants. Messina. Loggins." Two large men approached. Messina was in green and Loggins in orange. They demonstrated their skills by not only keeping the water's shape within the glass, but doing so without the glass being present. While they were training, Applejack was doing regular exercise, reasoning that if her Stand could increase her current strength to superhuman levels, then she could increase her natural strength to improve how strong her Stand made her. Developing a full body workout to keep her figure while improving her strength, she started to develop at the same time as Joseph and Caesar.
Speaking of which, Caesar caught her while she was heading for a bath after her workout. He couldn't help but gaze at her tanned skin while it shined from the sweat. He had seen plenty of pretty girls before, but Applejack just looked gorgeous, making the rest plain by comparison. "You gonna stare all day or can I get to my bath?," Applejack said to him, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Apologies, Applejack," he said, "I couldn't help but stare. I've seen plenty of beautiful women, but I say with no hyperbole that you are perhaps the most beautiful I have ever seen."
Applejack smirked. "Given you called me by my name, I suppose I can take you at face value. But you'd better not try the same tricks you used on other girls." "And risk a repeat of what happened back in Rome, only further south?," Caesar quipped, "I think my energy would be better spent improving my attitude in your eyes. Speaking of which, I should go check on Jojo and Lisa Lisa. They went out shopping earlier. Our final test is coming up soon. And with only eight days until the ring fully dissolves, it'll be just in time to face Esidisi." As he left, Applejack smiled at him warmly. 'He keeps this up, and I may just consider going out with him.'
Later, after a random pickpocket tried to intimidate Lisa Lisa into giving him a necklace with a red gemstone in it, Joseph, who easily thwarted the would-be mugger, realized it was the Red Stone of Aja the Pillar Men were looking for. As it turned out, Lisa Lisa had taken it upon herself to guard it. As the group gathered following this revelation, Lisa Lisa explained a few things. "These Pillar Men are largely an enigma," she noted, "Their origins are unknown, but they first appeared in human history five-thousand years ago in America, though they may be far older."
"And they were the ones who created the stone mask," Jonathan noted. Lisa Lisa nodded. "The mask provided them with a greater source of nourishment. The human equivalent would be feeding livestock higher quality grains or similar foods to improve their health, thus making them healthier options for eating. In the same way, vampires who had consumed countless humans also processed their blood alone, meaning it could be far more nutritional for a Pillar Man to eat."
"So they just created the mask to make a more sufficient food source?," Joseph asked. "If that were all it was for there would be no problem," Lisa Lisa noted, "What they were really testing the mask for, was to conquer the sun! The mask unlocks the inner potential of the brain in a human to make them a vampire. So what would happen if a Pillar Man were to wear it? Kars, the mask's original creator, hoped it could make him and his kind an ultimate life form. But there was one problem. Pillar Men have immortal bodies, thus the mask lacks the power to improve them any further."
"And this is where the Red Stone of Aja comes in," Twilight realized. Lisa Lisa nodded. "It's made from a special type of mineral that can harness light and amplify it a million-fold, focusing it in a single point. Any stone made from the same mineral can do this, but most of the regular stones Kars had at his disposal lacked the sufficient power needed to amplify the mask. He soon realized that he needed a flawless specimen, a so-called 'Super Aja'. And the Red Stone of Aja is precisely what he's looking for. To that end, he crossed the Atlantic along with Wamuu and Esidisi, and they found the stone in the hands of a Roman Emperor."
She held the pendant up to the sunlight, causing a massive beam of concentrated energy to strike the floor, causing it to burn a whole in the ground. Applejack whistled, impressed. "But hang on. If the Pillar Men found the stone, why weren't they able to complete their experiment then and there?" "Because of a clan of Hamon users," Lisa Lisa explained, "They were able to keep the stone out of the Pillar Men's hands, though many died in the process. Those that survived swore to rebuild the legacy of Hamon from scratch, taking the stone with them. Eventually it fell into my hands."
"And I guess the Pillar Men got so frustrated they decided to take a power nap afterward," Joseph snarked, "But two-thousand years. I get that being immortal means you'd likely sleep for longer and probably be able to stay awake just as long, but that still seems like a long time. Even Kars admitted he'd forgotten some things in that time, like Wamuu's battle instinct. For all they knew, the stone could wind up anywhere when they finally woke up."
"So what now?," Applejack said, "If those Pillar Men find out we have the stone, Esidisi will be paying Jojo a visit sooner then he said he would." "Why don't we just destroy it?," Joseph suggested, "If they can't get their hands on the stone, they'll probably give up. Might become more peaceful, even." "As easy as that solution might be," Lisa Lisa said, "A legend says that it will be impossible to defeat them without the stone. And as much as I'd like to believe they could be peaceful, after all the rest of their kind were said to live in harmony with humans, Kars is as evil as he is intelligent. He's kind enough to his two allies, but he sees humans as nothing but insects. Esidisi is the same, if not crueler. Wamuu... Wamuu is complicated."
"How so?," Caesar asked. "He was born long after Kars and Esidisi, and practically raised by them. If he were among the rest of his people I could see him being a peaceful sort. And even as a warrior he has respect for a worthy opponent. But as long as his adoptive family exists, he will not go against them. That's why, as long as destiny says so, we must keep the stone intact and protected." Joseph shrugged. "Well, following destiny has only lead to good things so far, albeit while leading us down a bumpy road."
With seven days until the ring dissolved, Caesar and Joseph were ready for their final test, a battle against their instructors on a neighboring island. Caesar would be fighting Messina, while Joseph would battle against Loggins. However, he noticed something wrong as he entered the arena where the fight was to take place. Loggins' hat was on the floor, and on a nearby statue were two men, with one holding the other up with his leg. Joseph gasped when he realized the man being held up was a dead Loggins, and the other man, his killer, was Esidisi.