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Vitam Et Mortem

by Tohshi

Chapter 1: Sometimes Failure is the Best Outcome

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She had been replaced. It was hard to stomach that Sunset had been left behind again. This one hurt more than she wanted to admit. The princess had said she would be there for Sunset and now there was a new princess. What did Princess Celestia need Sunset for now? She had spent the last six months doting on Cadence and had barely spent anytime with Sunset. They hadn’t gone over a new spell in months. It had been two weeks since they had met just the two of them. Sunset wanted to blame Cadence but that didn’t stop her from blaming herself. If she had just been better then she would be the one with wings and a horn now. She would be the one Princess Celestia was proud of. She wouldn’t have been left behind again.

There had to be a way to fix this. A spell that would let Sunset propel herself back into Princess Celestia’s attention. It had taken her a long while to break past the wards in the restricted section of the Castle’s library. It was where the best and most dangerous spells were kept. Starswirl had a shelf in the regular sections but he also had one here. Most of it dealt with his own drive to ascend. Apparently the old stallion had been just as desperate as Sunset was now. She felt a strange comradeship with the ancient legend. Sure his goal seemed more noble but that didn’t stop Sunset from feeling some solace in reading his journals. Journals she had to translate herself as they were in old Equish and then in code at that. It wasn’t too hard to break though.

There was one particular spell that had caught Sunset’s attention. It was the final spell of Starswirl’s. It was supposed to open a portal between worlds and then channel the energy of that vortex into Sunset powering her ascension. The journal never said whether the attempt had worked or not. The spell would take all of Sunset’s considerable power to perform and even then she wasn’t certain she had the power to pull it off. She was the most powerful unicorn in all of Equestria, not that that meant much when in the face of an Alicorn.

Sunset had barricaded herself in the test chamber in the castle. It had been where Celestia had taught her many of the more dangerous spells she knew. There were wards that would prevent explosions caused by the spells from venturing outside of the room. Hopefully it would be enough to contain the energies of this spell. It seemed like the safest place outside of traveling to a far and remote area of Equestria where any explosions would only leave one dead unicorn and a large crater. It wasn’t something that Sunset wanted to dwell on. Even if it didn’t scare her very much. Or really at all. So what if she died trying this. She was nothing if this didn’t work.

The spell required a multitude arcane spell circle as well as a vertical projection of a second arcane spell circle. There were more runes in the spell circle than most spell books had in total. Anyone of them being wrong and the spell would fail and blow up in Sunset’s face. She would just have to get it right. Beyond the circles the spell required a huge amount of arcanium dust which would be consumed in the spell. It had taken three months of Sunset’s allowance to purchase it despite having a very generous budget. How long would that last though with Princess Celestia having replaced her? Finally the spell required to tap into a leyline. This seemed to be the most dangerous of all the steps. Leylines roared through the mantle of Equis like rivers of mana many times more potent than even Sunset’s considerable wellspring. She didn’t have to channel all of it just enough to spark the portal. Thankfully Canterlot had been built on top of a leyline which made it a ideal place for such spells.

Spending an hour, Sunset crafted the arcane spell circle. It was projected and burnt into the stone floors so that she wouldn’t have to maintain the circle with her will alone. Princess Celestia could have done it but not Sunset. Not yet at least. Second the Arcanium dust was spread evenly around Sunset who stood at the center of the circles. Pulling on her wellspring, Sunset reached out farther than she had ever before tapping into the Leyline far beneath Canterlot. She had only ever done this once before and never to redirect some of the flow into a spell. No last time she had just felt the flow and followed along it for a long range teleport. This was much harder yet Sunset pushed forward. It took all of her will to pull from the Leyline enough mana to spark the spell. Once she did though the circle lit up with power and she felt herself being lifted into the air by the power flowing through her and the circle. The arcanium dust ignited and around her a vortex of mana started to form. At first it was just a few wisps in the air. Only just barely visible but it soon grew till it obfuscated the walls of the chamber. Sunset had never seen so much mana condensed like this. She had reservations that the chamber would in fact be able to contain this blast. There was enough mana here to level all of Canterlot if this went badly. Yet the spell was growing stronger still. All around her small holes started to appear in the fabric of reality, poking through to other worlds.

Sunset realized what had happened to Starswirl. His spell had not had the intended effect and instead of channeling the mana through her it continued to breakdown the barriers between realities. There were so many different realms on view in front of her. Some with ponies in them and others with strange creatures that Sunset didn’t recognize. Reaching out with what mana she had left she tried to pull the spell into control and stop it from continuing to spiral out of control. The mana flowed freely into her, causing wave upon wave of pain. Still she wrested control of the vortex from the chaos and willed it to focus. Hopefully that would fix the problem. Still with the pain growing in her extremities Sunset wasn’t certain she had the ability to keep this up. The joined tears opened to a single realm, one free of ponies and instead dominated by strange ape like creatures. Sunset could barely see through the mana but what she could see was collection of small ones with a few larger ones. They were running in terror except for one small one who stared straight at Sunset. Their eyes met and Sunset knew that she had caused the child’s death. The vortex split out into this other world engulfing the child and pulling many more into it as well.

There was a pop that was barely audible over the roar of the vortex. Next to Sunset appeared Princess Celestia. Her face was cold and stony. A face that Sunset hated to see and had only managed to accomplish once before. Celestia had pulled on her full power and her hair was an inferno that burnt even the mana vortex. The heat would have consumed Sunset if a shield hadn’t appeared around her. There was a moment when it looked like the princess wouldn’t be able to wrest control of the vortex and stop it but then there was a huge shattering pop and the whole thing disappeared. Sunset could feel a sudden drain of energy as the vortex still pulled on her wellspring though the distance that was between the two of them increased the strain until the connection snapped closed.

The room was molten and utterly destroyed. Sunset was certain that some of the rest of the castle had been destroyed as well. But what caught her attention was the child from before. They had been wearing some sort of clothes before as they had been burned off leaving them exposed and made their lack of fur all the more obvious. Sunset was pretty certain it was a young filly of sorts. The creatures eyes glowed and she floated in the air as mana continued to vortex around her cracking lightning from the power that coursed through the child. A shield appeared around the creature and then Princess Celestia appeared next to the creature her horn passing through the shield like it wasn’t there. For a moment the princess’s eyes lit up with the mana she was siphoning off child. How could such a creature withstand so much mana? Still Princess Celestia managed to pull off most of the mana and soon her hair returned to normal and the child collapsed inside the bubble of a shield. Sunset had done the same and was having issues keeping her eyes open. The pain from her legs was blinding and only just came to her. Sunset passed out screaming.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunset woke in a bed far to familiar to her. It was the same one Princess Celestia put her in when she hurt herself practicing magic or the other times she had been hurt. She had lost count of how many times she had ended up here and each time she had hated it. She had failed again. There was no way the Princess Celestia would need her anymore. Not when her best chance to ascend had failed. The pain she was in physically seemed nothing to the hurt in her heart.

Her limbs were wrapped in bandages. It felt like her internal leylines had been burnt out in her four limbs and her horn pulsed with pain. Had she blown it out again? It didn’t matter that much. Not anymore. Princess Celestia wasn’t even here to yell at her.

The door opened and in Princess Cadence. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were bloodshot. Had she been crying? She walked over to the bed that Sunset laid in and sat down next to Sunset. The two of them locked eyes not daring to speak. There wasn’t anything that Cadence could say that would make things right. Not now.

“You are an idiot,” said Cadence. “You almost died. Again. What am I supposed to do when you seem hellbent on killing yourself?”

“What does it matter?” muttered Sunset. “Why do you care? You have everything?”

“What? Has this been because you’re jealous?” shouted Cadence. “You nearly melted the castle and almost killed yourself, for the second time in the last six months mind you. All because you are jealous of me? For what I can’t do basic telekinesis. I am not allowed out of the castle for fear I am going to cause some uproar and start a civil war. I had to turn down six marriage proposals this week alone. What do I have that you think is so important you would risk not only all of Canterlot for but your very life?”

“She wants you. She doesn’t need me anymore. I’m not good enough for her,” said Sunset. “Princess Celestia replaced me…with you.”

“I could never replace you,” said Cadence. “I barely deserve this horn and I assure you that you are far more useful to Princess Celestia than I am.”

Sunset didn’t want to hear that from Cadence. Did she not have eyes? How could she not see how quickly Celestia had abandoned Sunset in favor of her? There was no point in arguing with the blind pony. Not really. Besides if what Cadence had said was true there was a decent likelihood that Sunset would be locked up as soon as she recovered.

“How the buck would you know? We haven’t had a single lesson since you showed up. No new spells, not even politics. No all of her time has gone to you. I have barely seen her in three weeks. So tell me again how you didn’t replace me?”

“You think she has been spending all that time with me. I admit that I saw her more recently than you have. For fifteen minutes so she could remind me to have proper posture. I have been alone in this castle. I still don’t know how to use this horn. Princess Celestia has been busy and hasn’t had time for either of us. She says it is defending my crown in court but I don’t care. They can take the useless piece of metal for all I care. Do you know what it is like being torn from the only family you had to be placed in some strange town where they all ignore you or at best want to use you.”

“Yeah I do. That was my life after I came to live at the castle. After Pa died, I had no one and all Princess Celestia could do is be marveled at how powerful of a filly I was.”

“I’m sorry I have failed you both,” said Princess Celestia as she walked into the room. “I should have been there for the both of you as of recent. I let my political issues blind me to your suffering. I’m sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”

Sunset flopped over and looked away from Princess Celestia. At this point Sunset just didn’t believe her anymore. How many times had Celestia let her duties get in her way of being there for Sunset. More than Sunset could count. She should have known that Cadence was going through the same thing. It stung at her that she had been jealous of the other filly. It wasn’t her fault that the princess couldn’t be bothered.

“I think it may take some time for either of us to accept that,” said Cadence. She looked away from Princess Celestia as well. “What of that other, um, creature that you found with Sunset?”

“That is why I am here,” said Princess Celestia. “As far as I can tell they are in acceptable health. Magical burnout of all of their leylines and a few other things I can only guess at. Still they should live fine enough. Don’t worry I will take care of her.”

“Like you took care of us?” shouted Sunset. “Right. What is different about this one? I brought her into this world and I won’t let her be alone. No matter how different she is.”

Princess Celestia didn’t talk for a moment. Sunset glared at her daring her to offer some excuse as to why she had to deal with this. After a few more moments Princess Celestia finally spoke, “If you think that is for the best. I was afraid she wouldn’t be given the proper love a young filly needs. Not considering how…unusual she is. I think it is only fair you step up after all it is your fault that she was torn from her home.”

“Where is she now?” asked Cadence.

“In a warded room across the hall. I wanted to make sure that she didn’t have a flare up that would unduly effect Sunset,” said Princess Celestia. “I think the risk of that has passed. I can move you over to her room, if you want.”

“That would be for the best,” said Sunset.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Such power. He would have to keep an eye on the unicorn. She could prove a problem when he finally stroked. Still she had provided Grogar with more of a boon that any he had in a while. The foal had left Starswirl’s journals in her own room. One that wasn’t protected as well from teleportations. It was a simple matter to gather them through his remote viewing spell and then bring them to him. Grogar could feel the souls of thousands waiting for the harvest through the tears in reality that Sunset had opened. He would have to thank the filly personally when he got the chance. Maybe she would like to join him in his dark conquest.

The filly hadn’t been completely daft though as her notes which Grogar had stolen as well were in code. How hard could it be to break the code of a filly? Apparently harder than he had thought. It would take him weeks to figure this out but it was only a matter of time and it wasn’t like that was something Grogar had little of. He wanted to strike before the lunar twit returned. He could sympathize with her drive to coat the world in eternal darkness, but she would want to deal with Celestia herself and Grogar didn’t want the competition. Not for a soul he was going to enjoy consuming. He even dreamed of it.

Setting to work, Grogar read the old Equish first. After all it had been his first language and as he was older than Starswirl it only seemed a good place to start. After all surely the old hack knew his own spell better than filly did. Then again she had survived the spell and Starswirl hadn’t.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I floated on a sea of nothingness. There were pulses of something that washed over me in the strange pinkness of my world. It came steadily every second or so. I tossed in that beat feeling as if I was spinning. A slight nausea came to me and it grounded my feelings. The pink void I was floating in wasn’t everything. Beyond that was a part of me squirming as the void spun. The pulsing grew louder and more encompassing with every moment. Tremors took up in the parts of me beyond the void as feeling slowly shifted back into them. That was my arm wasn’t it and my legs and torso. Why did I forget that they were supposed to be there?

I opened my eye lids dispelling the pink void and finding instead an intense blinding light. My head screamed and I slammed my eyelids shut, even if the scream only came out as a cracked moan. Time didn’t seem to have any consistent flow to it as I faded in and out of the void. Eventually I managed to keep my eyes open long enough for them to adjust to the light. How long had I been out of it? It was impossible to tell.

The ceiling lofted far above me made of a light gray stone. It seemed to be one single piece arched across the vaulted room. A overly bright spot sat a meter from the ceiling suspended by a chain and it cast strange shadows on the runs carved into the stone. There almost wasn’t an centimeter of it free of the runes. They looked like nothing I had ever seen before but as I couldn’t rightly remember anything it was much of a surprise.

<Hey there,> said a voice. I wasn’t certain I understood them. It was the first voice I had ever heard, or at least I thought so. <Can you understand me?>

I turned my head to look at the voice. They were a pink pony creature with a long horn raising from their forehead. They had a tricolored mane of cream pink and purple. I felt I was different than them. I figured I would be able to see my snout if I had one and all I could see is the barest hints of a nose and that is it. My arms hadn’t decided to work yet or I would have felt my face to compare with what I saw.

<I don’t think she understands me,> said the pony. <I guess that should be expected. She is rather strange. Kinda cute though her eyes are so small and beady.>

<Yeah,> said a second voice that I couldn’t see. My head wouldn’t turn enough to see them. <Did the princess leave her charts in here?>

<Yeah here they are.>

<Wow that is a big brain for the size of her,> said the second voice. <Has to be a smart little thing. She even did a soul scan. Weird they apparently have a much more luminous soul that should be for a creature of their size and magical ability. Seems to be an omnivore as well. Well that will be interesting to get used to.>

<What do you want to call her?>

<Uh, how about Star? I brought her here because of Starswirl’s spell so it seems sort of fitting. Besides I am not the best at names.>

<Okay but Star what? How about Twinkle Star? No that is silly. She doesn’t sparkle. What about Alabaster Moon? Her skin is so pale and then it is in the same vein. Do you think she is albino?>

<Works for me. Her eyes are pink so maybe.>

Watching the pony talk had been strangely satisfying. It just seemed rather absurd and yet they were the ones talking while I couldn’t seem to think of any words. To be fair I wasn’t really thinking all that much. Was that normal or something off with me? I tried to make a noise. To copy the ones they were making, at least if I couldn’t say any of my own words maybe I could say theirs. It only came out garbled and off. My voice was soft though and squeaky.

<I think she just tried to speak,> said the pink pony near me. <Rather cute and so foal like. Do you think she remembers anything?>

<I don’t know. For all we know she is very young. It isn’t like I got a good view of her former world,> said the second voice. <Or for that mater others of her kind. I mean I think I saw one of them quite a bit bigger. She maybe grow to upwards of twice the size of a pony.>

<I don’t think it matters much does it.>

<I suppose not.>

I chirped again trying to mimic them. The pink unicorn smiled at me and rubbed my face with a hoof. It was softer than I thought it should be as there seemed to be some sort of pressure between the hoof and my skin. I leaned into it. It just felt nice for some reason to be in contact, like I had been missing that until now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My head ached and the world felt so very cold despite the blanket on top of me. It was very fluffy and should have been able to ward off any such cold. After all it had a day ago. Yet it wasn’t. I sweat profusely and the pink unicorn had spent the day sitting next to me looking worried.

<I think I know what is up,> said the orange unicorn. <I think she is having magical build up. As far as I can tell she doesn’t have any natural releases and her system seems to be collecting mana with no end. I think if we apply an enchantment to her that feeds off of her wellspring she should be fine. Well if I get the draw amount correct.>

<That all went over my head,> said the pink unicorn. <Maybe we should talk to Celestia? I know that you are still angry at her and so am I but she would know better I would think in this case.>

<I got this. The question is what sort of enchantment. Has to be something that is always on to counter her draw until we can figure a better way for her to use all that mana. But we don’t want anything that will interfere with her life,> said the orange unicorn.

I still found it fun to listen to their voices. I was starting to pick out different words in their speech but it still was complete nonsense to me. It didn’t seem to mater they were plenty attentive and I hadn’t felt much need to communicate, not that had stopped me from trying.

<I think I will have to layer multiple enchantments on her to get the proper effect besides it will be easier to calibrate that way. First a cloud walking enchantment. Can’t hurt and won’t get in the way, unless she needs to fall through a cloud which seems unlikely.>

The orange unicorn’s horn lit up with cerulean aura and I felt something spread a tingling through me. It felt soothing and my head hurt less. I wasn’t certain what they had done but it was nice either way.

<Did it work?> asked the pink unicorn. <She doesn’t seem any different.>

<Of course not,> said the orange unicorn. <A good enchantment should be invisible. But yeah it is working. I could put a regenerative enchantment on her but that has too many issues and would only drain her wellspring when healing her. I could pile on some color change enchantments but that is like digging a hole with a spoon. There are always transfigurations I could apply to her but that seems unfair to her. Maybe it doesn’t have to do anything just release mana. Hmm this is going to take a bit longer.>

<You sure can ramble,> said the pink unicorn. <You don’t spend too much time with others do you.>

<Oh sorry. It is a habit I picked up from Celestia. She encouraged me to think out loud for problems like this. Mostly so she could step in if I had some hair brained idea. Okay so that mana will need to go somewhere as it siphons off of her and it can’t just be vented. The thaumaturgic radiation would be bad for her health. Maybe if she shunts the power into a container. I could have her power mana batteries for a while. Still that brings up problems of weight and carrying one of those around with her. Though if I apply an interdenominational lock to the crystal I could theoretically store infinite mana in a small area. Sure more prone to explosions but only if tampered with so not that big of a chance. Okay I think I have it.>

The pink unicorn just nodded and stared at the orange one. I wished I had picked up what their names were. Were they my parents? They spent a long time with me. The orange unicorn’s horn lit up and there was a small pop as the room grew dimmer. She floated a clear crystal in front of her face, that was scrunched up with concentration. The gem glowed for a moment then shifted in hue. It went from a yellow to a light pink. I could feel the pressure in me lower, one I hadn’t been aware was there until it was no more. My head stopped aching almost immediately and I couldn’t help the smile that spread over my face. I chirped at them. Well more like gurgled my best attempt at saying pony words. The pink unicorn looked at me and I chirped again. She smiled at that and I reached out with shaky arms to touch her like she would me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunset carried Moon with her magic as the little filly clung to her neck. It made it a bit hard to walk as she was nearly the same size as Sunset but it wasn’t like trying to get her to walk had proved all that successful. It would be easier to walk if Moon would not cling as if she was afraid Sunset was going to drop her. That wasn’t going to happen.

It had been three days and Sunset wasn’t certain how she was going to do this. She had underestimated how much time it took to raise a foal, even if this one was rather low maintenance. She still had to be changed often enough and fed but at least Moon slept through the whole night. If it weren’t for Cadence, there was no way that Sunset would have been able to keep up. Celestia had been absent as always. At least this time she had sent a letter saying what she was busy with. Apparently one of the nobles had somehow found out about Moon. Sunset didn’t really know why that mattered any but then again she didn’t have the best head for politics and from what she could gather from Celestia’s letter this was rather problematic. Somepony was trying to get the rights to her as a scientific project and yet somehow Celestia hadn’t just dismissed it and moved on. No she had to fight the damn fool in court. No pony was going to touch a hair on Moon’s head. Not without having to go through Sunset and there wasn’t a single pony who could do that outside of Celestia, even if vaporizing a noble was probably not the best idea in the world.

Cadence had offered for the two of them to use the royal suite that Celestia had assigned her. It was just easier for the two of them to take care of Moon that way. It wasn’t like Moon was Cadence’s responsibility and while Sunset felt a bit off leaning on Cadence like that, Sunset wouldn’t say no to her. Families were made up of three or more and every foal deserved that. Even if it made things awkward for the fillies adoptive parents. Sunset just hoped that she could keep her little crush a secret from Cadence. It had hit her hard over the last few days, now that she actually looked at Cadence with anything other than contempt. This was just too complicated for Sunset and she needed to focus on Moon for now.

Well that and any amount of studying she could get in. She had already passed out of Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns and would have been working on a masters degree from the Arcane College if not for Celestia’s insistence that she take her foalhood slowly. Sure it was a good seven years before she would be considered and adult by pony standards but waiting till twenty five just seemed like such a long time away to go back to school. Before she had hoped that she would be spending that time with Celestia herself and expanding her arcane repertoire but that had proven less than likely. Self-study had been her only avenue forward and it was going very slowly before Moon and now it seemed like it wouldn’t be going anywhere.

The only progress on a magical front that Sunset had felt she had made was helping Cadence learn how to use her horn. It was easy to forget that Cadence had been a pegasus before ascending, though it was clear in seeing her try the most basic of spells. She could barely form telekinetic fields as of yet. Still the two of them worked on it for hours while watching Moon play with the toys that Cadence had picked out for the little filly. It entertained the foal to no end that Sunset made the dolls come to life with her magic. That was something beyond Cadence’s ability, by a lot, but there were plenty of dolls for them to practice levitating on. Cadence could hold one for a bit though she had shredded a few with the force of her grip. It wasn’t that Cadence was lacking power just control. As much as Cadence was loath to upset Moon but that seemed like great incentive to Sunset. She had insisted from then on that Cadence practice by playing with Moon. It seemed to be working. Sunset had to give credit where it was due, Cadence worked very hard and was progressing rather quickly.

“Cadence,” called out Sunset as she walked into the main room with Moon.

“Yes,” said Cadence from her bedroom. “What’s up?”

“Did you teach Moon how to say mama?” asked Sunset.

“Ma,” chirped Moon.

“Oh, uh, maybe,” said Cadence. “I didn’t think she would start calling you that. Just figured it was one of the first words foals learn.”

“Ma,” said Moon. She giggled and squeezed Sunset’s neck.

“I’m not her mother,” said Sunset, in a deadpan.

“Not biologically,” said Cadence. “But in every other way, you are.”

“I’m not going to get out of this, am I?” sighed Sunset.

“Ma!”

“Not if I can help it,” said Cadence.

Author's Notes:

Here is the first chapter of my super super inspired story that is in no way in existence because I read a different fanfiction and got inspired and wanted to expand on a concept I had a long time ago. Not at all. I mean sure this is what Broken Spirits turned into just not in the BTH universe.

As usual my editing sucks.

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