Chapter One

Two stallions sat together at a table in a fancy cafe in Canterlot.  They didn't look entirely out of place together, despite the often fancier dress of the local gentry.  One was younger in appearance:  He had a well-kept and neatly trimmed gray mane on a smooth and soft white coat.  Over that he wore a crisp pressed white lab-coat that covered up most of his body, including his cutie-mark.  His name was Mica and he was altogether unremarkable.  The other colt was older, an aged unicorn by the name of Fehler, though it was difficult to say just how old he was.  He also kept his white mane short (So as to reduce the effect of the strands of light blue, green, and pink that seemed to permeate it like so many gray hairs might invade the mane of a more wizened colt) which only seemed to accentuate the weathered appearance of his white horn. His coat was a rich, dark navy blue, with rings of dark purple around his ankles like the phantoms of shackles.  His cutie-mark was a simple, spectacular Lunar Eclipse.

The two sat together talking and sipping tea.

“Two Sisters created the world as we know it,” Fehler lectured.  “From them grew land, grew light, grew good and evil, grew life.  They understood land, they understood light, they could recognize and understand what good was and what twisted it to evil – they saw the line was blurred and grayed, but comprehensible.  However, the two sisters couldn't understand life.”

“You mean souls,” interjected Mica.  “What we perceive to be consciousness?”

“Not exactly,” replied Fehler.  “In making pony-kind in their image, the Sisters replicated the complex processes that allowed for what we perceive as consciousness to occur.  They copied limbic systems, the origin of fear and happiness and anxiety and love and a multitude of other emotions;  Adrenal Medullas were stimulated by emotion, intensifying, adding more color to life;  Cerebral Cortexes to process and store and process and relay signals for movement and constantly process, process, process; Cerebellums to make fine-tuned movements possible;  Wernike's and Broca's areas to give voice to the amalgam of hurt and pleasure that is existence...”  

Fehler took sip of his tea as Mica clarified his confusion.  “You mean they didn't understand what makes us work the way we do?”

Fehler nodded.  “Exactly.  They knew what consciousness was, just not where it lived or what gave rise to it.  We know of all these parts now, we finally understand them after long centuries of research; Neither the older or younger sister understood any of these things, and the infinite complexities they could produce or the infinite chemical processes that drive them.  I think they had no inkling of the raw power of what they were creating.  They simply knew that they had power, and they intended to use it to create a world free of quarrel and strife.”

“And then they created the world, right?  What we live in now?  They created the trees, the animals...”  Mica trailed off as he noticed the look of discontent on Fehler's face.

“No, Mica.  What they created was a burst of intense emotion.  Pent up energies exploded outward into nothing and arbitrarily took on laws to govern their behavior.  For a long while the pair could only watch as matter took shape, compressed, exploded, burned...  Equestria started as a rock.  It took billions of years and thousands of improbable happenings for it to look like it does, much less for life to occur.  No, they didn't intentionally create the world as it is.”

Mica looked at this older pony, thinking.  “How in Equestria could you possibly prove this?”

Fehler smiled.  “I hope I never do.  I don't think it is something most ponies need to know.  Frankly, I think that if disseminated right now that information would shatter Equestria.  I know you want to know, but you'll just have to take it on faith.  For now, at least.”

“Alright.”  Mica thought a moment longer, then demanded, “At least tell me how you tie into this.  Grant me that knowledge, at least.”

Fehler nodded in concession.  “It's not a very complex relationship.  I've known Celestia and Luna longer than any other being alive, I believe.  I was granted their curse of immortality when they created me however many eons ago.  Tied with that was the shroud of infertility – I will never be able to have children.  I was the only thing that the two Sisters created on purpose, and every part of me stems from them, much in the way a child shares the genes of its parents.  They're both infertile; so am I.

“They copied everything, even their knowledge and memories.”  Fehler became silent for a moment, his eyes cast down toward the table.  Then he said in a soft voice, almost a whisper,  “Believe me when I say that I know, even if it does sound impossible.”

The pair were both quiet for a moment, and the noise of the cafe washed over them as they thought.  Fehler looked up, and watched the other ponies in the cafe.  Across the patio a white unicorn with a silky purple mane sat talking to her cat.  Above her a rural pony washed windows, trying to work his way toward a better life where he didn't remember each previous day.  After all, 100-proof Applejack was cheap in the right parts of town.  His attention came back to the conversation at hand as Mica drew a deep breath.

“I believe you,” the young scientist conceded, “I believe that they created you directly, not necessarily that they didn't create everything on purpose.  I don't know why, but I do.  Did they name you?”

“No,” Fehler replied.  “I named myself when I found a name that described me well enough.  I am not going to tell you what it means, not now.”

“Alright.”  Mica accepted that.  He looked thoughtful for a moment, then asked, “But why tell me?  What do you need from me?”

Fehler looked Mica in the eyes.  “What I need from you is dedication and assistance in a research project.  The other day I received a visit from out dear Princess Celestia.  She wants to know where magic comes from and how it works.”

Mica looked taken aback.  “You must be kidding.  How can she not know?”

“Imagine that,” Fehler snorted.  “A Goddess that doesn't know everything.  The being that created me and created the universe as we know it doesn't know what it was that allowed her do it.”  Fehler sighed and laid his head down on the table.  “Some years I don't know whether I'm living out a comedy or a tragedy.”

The two were quiet again.  At some point the white unicorn had left, which was a shame – Fehler had enjoyed watching her.  Had he been allowed to die, and had he been able to reproduce...  Probably, he thought, her leaving had something to do with the window-washer falling from his post.

“I'll do it,” Mica said suddenly.  There was a look in his, much like that of a religious zealot.  “I want to know something the Goddesses never have.”

Mica had what Fehler did not:  Immediate access to surgery suits and other state-of-the-art technologies.  Fehler could procure them given due time, but he didn't want to take the time.  Celestia wanted answers now, which meant Fehler needed answers now, if not for her sake then for his own.

The first step was to examine what happened when a unicorn used magic.  This was simple enough – reversing a gem-finding spell and casting it on a rough matrix of gems had allowed ponies to see magic being cast for several years, at least.  Creating a larger, finer matrix and combining it with new photo technologies then provided the solution to watching what happened before and after any spell was cast.

It was as Fehler and Mica were setting up this first experiment that Mica asked where ponies came from.  “If the Princesses created you and only you, then where did the rest of us come from?”

Fehler was silent for a moment as he positioned several cameras.  Finally he said, “Would you believe me if I told you that pony-kind came about purely by chance?”

Mica looked perplexed and a little disturbed.  “How do you mean, 'by chance'?”

“Here, finish setting up the equipment and I will tell you,” Fehler ordered, handing him several gem matrices as he did so.  “As I said, it was purely by accident.  In fact, all life arose purely by accident.  Like I told you, the body that Equestria lies on started out as nothing more than a hunk of rock drawn together by gravity.  Before that it was star dust and other various debris floating around in space.  Once our planet was formed it stayed like that for a long time.  It underwent all manner of processes, churning and erupting in massive volcanic events that spewed out gasses faster and faster until eventually an atmosphere formed.”

“You mean the air we breath?” Mica interrupted.

“Yes and no.  These gasses were poisonous.  The air we breathe is not – It is comprised of different elements entirely.  I, of course, didn't witness the event that resulted in life.  Perhaps it came to us on one of the hundreds of thousands of meteors and other large space objects.  Perhaps it started when the oceans were jumbles of rough chemicals being struck every other moment by lightning in fierce electrostatic storms.  Whatever the case may be microscopic life began to form, simple single-celled organisms and free-floating organelles.  These organisms began to feed on toxic gasses in the air, creating oxygen and other gasses as a result.  It was marvelous to watch, even if they were painfully slow.  Eventually they evolved into multi-cellular creatures, and then into plants and animals and so on.”

“But where did ponies specifically come from?  Surely we didn't just go from single-cells to entire ponies,” Mica objected.  “And how come you look so like us?”

“Well, I must admit that there may have been some bias in nature's tendency to select our certain specimens over time,” Fehler said.  “The sisters weren't the only ones to feel lonely.  I had hoped that I could create a family by forcing the evolution of species in a certain direction.  Intelligence came early, but the right physical body took time.”

Mica looked perplexed.  “How does one force evolution in one direction or another..?”

“That's enough talk for now.”  Fehler lay down on the gurney.  “Are you ready?  Just take pictures as I levitate the chair.”

Progress moved fairly rapidly.  The machines worked just as predicted, and after some time and tests on multiple subjects the pair of ponies proved the existence a network within the head of unicorn that lit up just before they performed magic.  As was to be expected the network terminated at the horn, where the energies concentrated.

This would have stayed the answer to such a simple question, except a replication of the experiment with more sophisticated cameras revealed that even in the absence of magic the network was always slightly active in all unicorns.  A few more tests showed that the network both existed and was active in earth ponies and pegasi as well.

The question then was why?  This had both ponies stumped for several days until Fehler posited that “Perhaps the answer lies in twins.”

“Twins?” Mica asked.  “What do twins have to do with anything?”

“In twins of different specie (Pegasi and Earth Pony, Earth Pony and Unicorn, Unicorn and Pegasi),” Fehler explained, “there is an interesting phenomena to be observed:  When one twin is hurt the other knows, despite any physical barriers.  I have reproduced multiple events in the past where when one twin was cut with a knife and the other reported that there sibling was in danger, regardless of the fact that they were separated by many many miles.  The opposite is true as well – When one is happy, the other is as well; When one is sad, so is the other; When one is aroused, the other also feels arousal.  Indeed, a ground-bound pony can recite back perfectly the feeling of freedom associated with flight when their pegasus twin is engaged in the activity.  I imagine that we would find an excited state of the magical network to be observed in both subjects in every case, were we to test.”

The two pondered this as they sat at their seats in the cafe during their lunch break.  Fehler idly hoped the white unicorn would come back, but she never did.  Mica poked at his food then said, “If that proved true, then what if these networks also act on a sub-conscious level to communicate?  I know it sounds silly, but sometimes feelings can be palpable.  For example, I walked through the streets the night Nightmare Moon came back and the tension really was palpable.  Even though the ponies didn't know what had happened they knew something had happened, and everybody was nervous.  The same goes for funerals – grief is palpable.”  He stopped for a moment.  “I guess it really does sound silly, but that's all I've got.”

“No.  It doesn't sound silly at all.  It sounds plausible.”  Fehler looked pensive for a moment.  “If ponies are so intrinsically connected it would explain how two ponies on opposite ends of equestria may have the same idea at the same time without having ever previously met.”

Fehler looked Mica in the eye.  “If this turns out to be true you can't tell anypony.  Come, we have to get back to work.”

Later that same week, one month after the first meeting in the cafe, Fehler found himself sitting in his garden in a remote corner of the palace grounds.  The night was balmy, warm and humid with the backdraft of moisture from the great waterfall.  The plants were all well-kept, the weeds trimmed but also allowed their share of life, and the local vermin all had their homes provided for.  Everything needed a home of some sort, Fehler reasoned.  If he didn't provide it then who knew where they might end up.

Looking up at the bright stars and the orange crescent moon Fehler remembered a conversation he had once had with Luna.  He had been sitting on the apex of a grassy hill one summer night with his head resting on his forehooves, before there had been an Equestria or a Griffin Kingdom or even ponies and griffins.  Even dragons, as old as they were, had been new to the world.

Luna had walked up behind him very silently and stretched out next to him, mimicking his prone position playfully.  He had looked over, smiled half-heartedly, and looked back out over the hills.  Luna had sighed and said, “You're like my sister like that.”

“How do you mean?” Fehler had asked, turning toward her a little.  “I'm like her how?”

“Sometimes you become very quiet.  You won't talk or laugh or smile or even really respond to anything.  It's hard to get you to move, even.”  She sighed again.  “Then, other times, you're full of a frightening energy.  I want to enjoy it when it happens, but it's just so much.  It tires me immensely, so I don't know how you two can bear it.”

Fehler turned away and didn't reply.  In the distance a bird chirruped angrily in the night.

“It hurts, you know,” Luna finally spat out.  “It hurts to watch.  I can see that you're both in pain and I can't do anything about it!  I feel helpless.”

Fehler had thought about this and had then rolled over so that he was curled up against Luna's flank.  “It's hard to describe,” he'd finally said.  “One moment you're you, and the next you're you except somebody taken the happiness in you and set it on fire.  You run around and around and around thinking you're happy but really you're trying to put off the crash that you know is coming next.  Sometimes you even believe you've avoided it.  Then, there it is.  Even when nothing's wrong the shadow of the inevitability hangs over you...”

“How badly does it hurt?”

“It's the worst feeling imaginable.  There are days where I would like to kill myself rather than keep going,  Even then, I just don't have the energy.  All I can do is keep breathing and eating, barely.  I look at you sometimes and think, 'How did she get so lucky?  It must be nice to be so normal.'”  He paused a moment, then whispered:  “Sometimes I hear things that aren't there.  Sometimes I see things that aren't there.  It used to scare me, but these days...  These days I'm just used to it.  I'm dying and I'm watching myself die and I don't know that I even care any more.  I just wish it would happen.”

Luna had wrapped her wing around him then and laid her head in the grass.  “You're just like my sister.  But at least you let me take care of you.”

Fehler had cried himself to sleep for no other reason than because he hurt.

Looking back on it Fehler found the importance of that short conversation making itself even more immense, even more so than when it had caused the royal falling-out a thousand years ago.  If Celestia suffered the same things that he did, including the hallucinations and manic periods, did he really want her knowing about that extra level of communication that tied every pony together?  She was the one pony with the power to possibly effect it.  Telling her was dangerous.

The gate into Fehler's garden was old and thick.  He had carved it out of oak over a century ago during a very calm summer – it had been his way of coping with the nine-hundredth year of Luna's absence.  It was no small happening, then, when the gate crashed down in a hail of splinters.

Standing there was an unkempt looking Celestia, to say the least.  Her mane, normally regal and flowing, was draped around her neck and head like so many transparent wet rags.  He coat was mussed, dirty, and bloody.  Several large splinters stood out on her chest and forelegs from the recent gate-smashing, and fresh crimson trailed down from them.  Her whole body shook with a nervous energy.

“Celestia,” he said calmly.  He didn't feel calm.  In fact, Fehler wanted to explode with fear.  Celestia hadn't been this bad in – well, in almost a millennia and two years.  “Come lie down with me.”

“No!” she spat.  Then the movement began.  She was going around the garden almost faster than Fehler could keep track of.  Paving stones cracked, leaves were torn from plants, petals spilled across the dirt.  “I can't stop. I can't stop.  I can't, I can't, I can't.  If I stop moving I'll die, I swear it, and I don't want to die, I don't I don't I don't-”

“Celestia.”  Fehler had stepped in her path.  She could have trampled him, but she didn't.  “I know what it feels like.  But you have to stop and talk to me.  Please, talk to me.  Tell me what set it off this time.”  There was always something.  Always.  Any little thing that just made a pony snap...

“I was in the court...” Celestia began.  “I was in the court and I saw two nobleponies fighting.  I don't know what they were fighting about.  I just saw that they were fighting and.  And.  And.  I saw that they were fighting and it was just more than I could take.  I don't know.  I felt myself falling down and I started moving and I can't stop moving and it's just more than I can take!”

Celestia collapsed and began sobbing;  Fehler's heart broke more than a little.  Fehler, feeling strangely composed and cold inside, knelt down by Celestia's head.  He said the only thing he could think to say.  “I've figured out what causes magic, plus a little more...”

A wide, wet eye turned toward him, curious.  The tears didn't stop entirely, but they quieted down just enough for Fehler to be able to talk.

“It's nothing too significant.  There's some sort of network in every pony that captures a sort of energy and directs it into magic.  I don't know exactly how it works yet, but...  It doesn't work just during magic.  It's always running.  We- I mean, I think that on some sort of sub-conscious level every pony is communicating with others.  Feelings of happiness, joy, fear, anger...  All of it.”

Celestia didn't say anything.  She didn't say anything at all.  The two lay there for not even the Goddess knew how long, Celestia's head in Fehler's forehooves, until they both fell asleep.

Fehler slept fitfully, vividly dreaming.  At one point a distorted Celestia whispered, “If feelings can be transmitted with it then feelings can be changed with it.  I'm sorry, dear son.  I'm going back to happier times.”  When Fehler awoke Celestia was gone and a pale sun hung in the sky, as if it were being seen through fog.  It hadn't been a dream.  

Celestia was gone.

Fehler and Mica met at the cafe like they did every morning.  This morning was different, though – Mica knew that as soon as he saw Fehler sitting there looking as if he had been up all night.

“What's wrong?” Mica asked as he came up to the table.

“I told the Princess what we found,” Fehler answered.

Mica looked worried.  “Ah.  How did she take it?”

“I wouldn't know.  She disappeared.”  Fehler stood up.  “I think she's going to try and manipulate that sub-conscious layer of communication in order to force ponies to stop fighting, and I don't think that any good can come of tinkering with something we don't understand.”  He nudged a scroll across the table toward Mica.  “I'm going to go track her down.  If I don't contact you in the next two days then take this to Luna.  The seal will get you into the palace.  Once you have done that you can collect your pay and get on with your life.”

“I'm not coming with you?” Mica objected.  “You can't just go after her alone.  It's not fair!  We both discovered this!”

“I need you to stay here and deliver that scroll if you don't hear from me because Luna needs to know what is happening.  What you do with your life after that isn't up to me.”  Fehler stood up and looked Mica in the eye.  “You're a good pony.  It's been good working with you.”  With that he turned to leave.

“Wait!  You can't go without telling me about your name.  You promised me you would tell me about your name.”  Mica was pleading with Fehler.  He had found a friend in this pony rather than simply a colleague.

Fehler stopped long enough to make good on his promise.  “It's from a tribe of ponies who speak a language different from ours.  It means 'mistake.'”

The sun had risen slowly the next morning in the long-forgotten forever ago, painting everything with momentary beauty.  The light of it had been intense and had shone through the edges of the wing covering Fehler, waking him up.  He hadn't move for a several long moments, letting himself enjoy the warmth next to him, but after a moment he nuzzled his way under Luna's wing so that he could see the sun rising.

“It's beautiful.  It's always beautiful,” Luna had commented sleepily.

“That's what it's like,” Fehler told her.  “It hurts and it hurts and it hurts more than anything ever should.  It hurts so much that you can't move from the weight of it, but when you do act you put everything you have left into it for beauty's sake.  There has to be something beautiful in your life, or you'll lose all the tethers to the world that you have left, and then...  Then you just let go and jump off the cliff.”

Luna had hushed him and laid her head against his.  “Go back to sleep.  You won't be flying any time soon, beautiful.”

Fehler had almost rebuked her but had managed to catch himself before he said something he regretted.  Instead he had curled back up next to her and whispered, “Maybe one day you can teach me how to fly.”

It had been an offer more than anything.  He would fly one day, whether she wanted him to or not.  He had always known that.  He would fly far and fall further, and he would die free of himself.