A question arises when one ponders about the Sonic Rainboom: If Rainbow Dash was the first pony ever to pull one off, where did the legends of this miraculous feat of flying come from in the first place? Well, before I can tell you that, I need to elaborate a bit on Equestrian history.

You see, before Spritebot Enterprises produced guns, lasers and other weapons en masse, Princess Celestia was one of the few ponies to own a personal firearm.

The barrel alone of this massive gun was roughly three times the size of your average bazooka. It fired an infinite supply lightning bolts, which exploded on impact into humongous balls of ultraviolet holy fire that burned as hot as the sun. On the side of this gun, the words SMITE WITH DIVINE MERCY were embroidered in thin letters of gold. (These were the last words that Celestia’s mother spoke to her, and the Sun Princess hold them dear to her heart every day.) The other side however had a less poetic phrase written in gold, as it preferred to cut right to the point: DON’T BUCK WITH ’TIA. The trigger, which was so big that took two hooves for a normal pony to pull, was carefully made out of finely-cut diamond. The rest of the gun was made out of pure, 24-karat, solidified awesome. You read that right; PURE, SOLID AWESOME.

Sadly, Celestia does not use the spectacular gun anymore, so it currently resides in the Royal Attic of Dustiness. In case you’re wondering, the last time Celestia fired this gun was back when an army of werewolves invaded Canterlot during Luna’s cuteceañera.

Werewolves are currently extinct.

Now, here’s where the Sonic Rainboom comes into play. Whenever Celestia fired her gun, it was very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very loud. Also, she liked to battle her opponents while flying in the air, her rainbow-colored tail billowing behind her. Thus, she appeared to be making a sonicboom and a rainbow at the same time. Ergo, the myth of the Sonic Rainboom was born.

That is, it used to be a myth.

“Now, what have we learned?” Rainbow Dash said, flying back and forth in a pegasus form of pacing.

“Loss of control...” Fluttershy listed.

“Good.”

“Screaming and hollering...”

“Yes, and most importantly?”

“Passion.”

“Right!” Rainbow Dash said affirmingly. “So, now that you know all the elements of a good cheer, let’s hear one!”

*GASP* “Yay.”

Dash appropriately responded to this with a good facehoof. “Ugh! You’re gonna cheer for me like that? Louder.”

“Yay.”

“Louder!”

“Yay!”

“LOUDERRR!!!”

Fluttershy deeply inhaled with all her might.

“FUS-RO-DAH!!!”

Rainbow Dash was propelled backwards with tremendous force, clearing a good twelve miles before crashing into the nearest tree, snapping that tree clean in two, and doing the same thing to the next five trees and boring into the dirt before she had lost enough inertia to stop.

“Oh my goodness!” said a Fluttershy-shaped blurry image that Dash could barely make out. “Are you alright? I swear, that wasn’t on purpose! It just slipped out! Oh, I’m sorry! I’m sososososo sorry! Are you hurt?”

“That...” Rainbow Dash mumbled, “... was...AWESOME!!!!” She bolted upright, hugging Fluttershy. Drops of liquid pride trickled down the cyan speedster’s face. “Fluttershy, I know this hasn’t been the first time I’ve seen you do that thing you do with your voice, but experiencing that firsthoof, I take back every word I’ve said about you! You’re NOT the most dainty thing with wings I’ve ever met! You’re NOT the very opposite of cool! You’re a full-on BADFLANK!”

“Um, okay,” Fluttershy said. “As long as you’re not hurt.”

“Hurt? HURT?? Who cares if I’m hurt?” Dash laughed. “I’ve got the best cheerleader in the universe!”

“Pl-please stop, Rainbow,” requested Fluttershy. “You’re making me blush.”

“Just try not to steal the show,” the multicolored flyer joked. “Save the spotlight for me, remember?”

“Well, if it will make you happy, I’ll do my best to support you; as always,” said Fluttershy. “But... ummm... could you do something for me in return first?”

“Hm?”

“I’d just like to introduce you to this critter here,” the spineless Dragonborn elaborated, stepping aside. “He’s very anxious to meet you.”

Slowly, a tortoise crawled into view. Very gradually, his head rose to look up at Rainbow Dash, and he smiled.

“Oh no,” said Rainbow Dash painfully, “Shy, don’t tell me you’re doing this to me again!”

From the few ponies that had got know Fluttershy pretty well, it could be told that she... had a problem. A pet problem, so to speak.

You know that feeling you get when you’re part of a fandom (like Game of Thrones, Doctor Who, or maybe even a show for little girls), and you want to introduce this fandom to all of your friends? You know, so you can talk about it with them and stuff? Some of you have succeeded, and you now live in a private circle of fanboys that can talk endlessly about the new episode or whatever. Some of you have failed, having grown a bit distant from your friends because they can’t get their heads wrapped around your new interests. Others are still trying, getting a couple of your friends to convert but are still annoying ‘outsiders’ to death about how awesome this show can be.

Fluttershy had a similar case with pets. She was normally reclusive, but she jumped at every opportunity to get one of her endless supply of animals adopted. She gave Applejack a dog. She gave Rarity a cat. She even gave Derpy a goldfish that lived for about a week under the blond mailmare’s care.

And like the rest of us, Fluttershy had this one friend that refused to see it her way: Rainbow Dash absolutely hated pets. The cyan pegasus never got that warm, fuzzy feeling when a kitten was shoved in her face. She never liked anything cute. Cute bored her.

Nevertheless, Fluttershy kept trying, still search for that perfect pet for Rainbow Dash. And boy, did they have a long history of doing that.

“Hey Rainbow Dash, look at this bluebird that flew all the up to Cloudsdale!”

“Not interested.”

“But Rainbow, butterflies are perfectly good pets! See the way they tickle you when they land on you nose?”

“ACHOO!”

“Omigoodness! You broke one of its legs off!”

“Chickens don’t fly, Fluttershy.”

“I know, but if you carry it around, it can technically be a legitimate flying partner, can’t it?”

“For the last time, I’m not taking a monkey to my spring break trip to Las Pegasus! I’ll have to lug it around all the time just so it doesn’t fall through the clouds!”

“But that’s what will make your bonding time so special!”

“This is your Ponyville housewarming gift to me?”

“Don’t you like it?”

“It’s a bunny, Shy. I don’t have a place to put a bunny.”

“But Angel needs a playmate!”

“You have a zillion bunnies at home.”

“But this way, we’ll both have bunnies! We can be bunny buddies!”

“First thing: No. Second thing: A thousand times no. Third thing: Don’t ever say ‘bunny buddies’ again. Ever.”

“A turtle?”

“A tortoise,” Fluttershy corrected, confident that she found the perfect match.

“Whatever,” Rainbow Dash scoffed. “The point is, it’s the very definition of slow. I. Don’t. Do. Slow.”

“Please?” insisted Fluttershy with eyes that made Bambi seem cold and heartless in comparison. “At least give him a chance! He could root you on in the Best Young Flyers Competition!”

Dash rolled her eyes. “How many times do I have to tell you, Shy? If I ever had a sidekick, he/she would have to fly. You keep forgetting that every single time. I mean, can you imagine what my life would be like if I had a flightless creature dragging me down all the time? So not cool.”

Scootaloo let out a sneeze.

“Don’t worry Dash, I’ve came prepared,” Fluttershy said. She took out a strange device and buckled it onto the nameless tortoise. The machine was essentially a small, magically-powered gyrocopter. The propeller on top whirred to life and the green reptile began to hover in the air. To complete the look, Fluttershy carefully strapped a miniature pair of goggles onto his head.

“A turtle-copter?” Dash said with a raised eyebrow. “Where'd you find something like that?”

“Pinkie Pie owed me a favor,” the butter-yellow tree explained briefly. “So now that he can fly, will you take him to Cloudsdale with you? Look at him, he’s so eager!”

The tortoise said nothing; he only flew over to Rainbow Dash to nuzzle her nose. Unfortunately, he didn’t have much control over his flying machine, so he missed and ended up bonking her on the forehead instead.

Dash was not amused.

“No way,” she grunted.

“Please?” said Fluttershy, begging like your younger sibling asking you for a bite of your candy bar.

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Pretty please if that’s okay with you?”

Finally, Dash snapped. “BUCK OFF, SHY!” she hollered. She sped away as fast as a bullet, leaving Fluttershy in the dust.

Dusk Shine was coughing, choking for air. Soot clung to his violet coat. A large amount of smoke swirled around, towering above him.

Eventually, he got his lungs in working condition. He stood up, watching the billowing smoke retreat into a small test tube and convert into a dark purple liquid.

“Well,” he thought aloud, “That was unexpected.”

“Trixie agrees,” said Trixie, brushing off her lab coat and adjusting her plastic goggles. It was her first day as Dusk’s lab assistant, since Spike had come down with the flu that day. “Was it supposed to do that?”

Just then, there was a crash heard from upstairs, and a certain cyan pegasus tumbled down to the floor.

“Rainbow Dash?” Dusk said. “What are you doing here?”

“Just hiding from Fluttershy,” Dash replied. “Oh, and sorry about the broken window on the way in.”

“What broken window?” Dusk Shine exclaimed. “And what’s this about Fluttershy?”

“Uh... nevermind,” muttered the airborne daredevil. “So, what’s going on in here? Egghead stuff?”

“The mentor of the Great and Powerful Trixie does not just do ‘egghead stuff,’” Trixie defended, “the correct term is ‘scientific progress.’”

“Whatever,” Dash said, waving a hoof in dismissal. “The point is, I need something to do while I hide out here for a while. What’s with the beakers here?”

“It’s something I’ve been working on since magic kindergarten,” said Dusk in a bout of exposition. “I’ve been searching for a way to enhance a pony’s natural talent.”

Rainbow Dash gasped. “So you could make me more awesome than I already am? Is that even possible?”

“Well, it’s not finished yet,” he said. “At least, I think it’s not. It kinda exploded on us, and now I’m not sure what it does.”

“Wait, what?” Dash said in confusion. “But you made the damn thing! How can you NOT know what it does??”

“I just don’t, okay?” Dusk retorted.

“So, how are you supposed to find out?” questioned Rainbow Dash.

“Well... first we would have to judge how it affects rocks, plants and lab rats,” said Dusk. “You know, non-pony test subjects.”

“Uhh... Dusk? Plants and rocks don’t have cutie marks,” Dash pointed out. “That’s gotta get in the way of the research, dontcha think?”

“Rainbow Dash has a point,” Trixie nodded. “I think it’s time to have a pony test subject. Fortunately, the Great and Powerful Trixie is up to the task.” She picked up the test tube with her magic. “Besides, who knows what kind of things Trixie could do if it worked? The possibilities boggle Trixie’s mind!”

“Oh no,” Dusk said as he snatched the potion away. “This is not something you can just chug down, Trixie. I’m not even sure it’s safe to apply to your skin. For all we know, this could be pure acid.”

“Come on, Dusk Shine,” begged Trixie with a stuck-out lip, “just a sip? Trixie could have powers beyond mortal imagination! It’ll be fun! C'mon, where’s your sense of adventure?”

“It went on break after I got pulled into Pinkie Pie’s brain,” Dusk snarked. He turned to Rainbow Dash. “Dash, I’m going to trust you to hold on to this potion for a while so Trixie doesn’t drink it.”

“Cool,” said the fearless flyer with a smile.

“And of course, you’re going to have to promise not to drink it yourself,” he finished.

Dash scowled.

“I’m serious, Rainbow,” Dusk warned. “I need your word as the Element of Loyalty.”

“Fiiiine,” she groaned. “As the Element of Loyalty, I swear I will not take a single sip of this potion.”

“Good,” said Dusk, satisfied. He tossed the test tube over to Rainbow Dash, whom tucked it in safely between her feathers. She always had a knack at tucking stuff between her feathers, much like the way you can roll your tongue into the shape of a hot dog bun. But unlike that fancy-schmacy hot-dog-tongue-thing you can do, Rainbow Dash’s skill was actually useful in real life, particularly when concealing an extra ace at poker night.

“Dashie?” called a voice from upstairs. “Are you here?”

“Oh no,” Rainbow Dash gasped. “It’s Fluttershy! Hide me!”

“Alright, I gotta know:” pressed Dusk determinately, “Why are you hiding from Fluttershy?”

“It’s complicated,” the panicked pegasus hissed. “Just hide me!”

Without further debate, Trixie used this excuse to magically throw Dash into the nearest closet in an unglamorous fashion. Rainbow Dash landed on her one of her outstretched wings, so she had to suppress a yelp in pain. Almost immediately, the door of the closet was shut behind Rainbow, leaving her in darkness.

Meanwhile, Fluttershy stepped down, carrying a goggled tortoise on her back. She turned to Dusk Shine and said, “Have you seen Rainbow Dash? I need to talk to her.”

“Uhhh... what do you need from her?” Dusk asked.

“Oh, this is her new pet,” she replied, gesturing to to tortoise riding on her back. “Well, her future pet. I really think she’ll love him, if she gives him a chance.”

That’s what Dash was trying to avoid? thought Dusk.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie hasn’t seen Rainbow Dash today,” said Trixie. “Go check her house or something.”

“Right, sorry for bothering you two,” said Fluttershy. She turned around and began to leave, but stopped herself mid-step. “Wait, could you help me with something? That is, if you don’t mind.”

“What?” said both unicorns roughly at the same time.

“You see, Rainbow Dash is entering in the upcoming Best Young Flyers’ Competition, and she needs some support,” the pink-maned doormat elaborated. “Her new pet might help motivate her, but I need to work on my cheering too. Well, I actually don’t need to. Then again, I do. Kinda. Sort of. You see, I need to work on cheering softer. Or at least without the Thu’um. I want Dashie to hear me, but I also don’t wanna destroy Cloudsdale. Can you help me practice?”

All the while, Rainbow Dash was fumbling around in the closet, trying both to listen in and find a source of light at the same time. This fatefully resulted in three head injuries and a frustrated pegasus. So instead, she turned all of her attention to the voices coming from the other side of the door. This is what she heard.

*GAAASP* “...yay!” squeaked Fluttershy again.

“No, Fluttershy,” corrected Trixie. “You need to project your voice. You know, like this: GO, RAINBOW DASH! YOU CAN DO IT! YOU’RE ALMOST AS COOL AS TRIXIE!”

“Almost as cool??” Rainbow Dash muttered to herself.

“What was that?” inquired Fluttershy.

“N-nothing!” Dusk denied. “I think I’m just coming down with a cold.”

“I think it sounded like Rainbow Dash,” the animal-rights hippie remarked.

“A c-cold that sounds like Rainbow Dash,” Dusk stuttered with a nervous quickness. He faked a few coughs and then gruffly said, “I’m the *atchoo* embodiment of everything awesome!”

Now, Fluttershy was a pretty trusting pony, but she knew when the wool was being pulled over her eyes. “Alright Dusk, where is she hiding?” she said, looking around the room suspiciously.

“...In the closet,” the magic geek admitted.

Before Dash knew it, Fluttershy had opened the door and was glaring into her eyes with an offended look. This glared lasted a speechless twenty seconds before Fluttershy opened her mouth to speak.

“Pleasepleasepleaseplease take him with yoooou!!!” she begged, suddenly dropping to her knees.

Dash groaned in defeat. “Fine, he can come. But if the judges say that you can’t bring a pet to enhance your performance, the turtle’s getting the boot.”

“Oh, thank-you-thank-you-thank-you!” squealed Fluttershy, hugging Dash with all her joy. “Oh, and umm... it’s a tortoise, not a turtle.”

“Whatever,” said Rainbow Dash with an eyeroll as the two pegasi made their way upstairs.

The city of Cloudsdale was a sight to behold. Being made completely out of clouds, the architecture was constantly dazzling. Walking on the streets was like bouncing on a bed that stretched for miles on end. Tragically, since only creatures with wings could inhabit the city, tourism was a bit miniscule.

Rainbow Dash dragged her tortoise along. Despite Fluttershy’s prompts to do otherwise, Dash refused to give the animal a name. Nonetheless, the tortoise seemed grateful that Dash paid attention to him, no matter no little that attention was.

As the two mare strolled down the familiar streets of their hometown, they noticed that not much had changed during their absence. The stores were the same, the neighborhood was the same-

“Hey look, it’s Rainbow Crash!”

-and the bullies were as thick-headed as ever.

“Nice to see you too, Hoops,” sighed Rainbow Dash.

“Get kicked out of any flight schools recently?” teased Hoops’s friend, Billy Dumbbell.

“Didn’t kicked out, bub,” Dash said stubbornly. “Just quit in order to go into university early. In case that two-celled brain of yours can’t remember, you need a degree in order to be captain of your town’s weather team.” She then made a gesture of flipping the middle feather of her wing.

“Well, at least we don’t make up tall tales like pulling off a Sonic Rainboom!” laughed another bully, who was named Score.

“Oh, for the love of-YOU WERE IN THAT RACE, DUMBASS!!!” shouted a frustrated Rainbow Dash. “There were literally dozens of witnesses of that thing! A kid even recorded the whole race on his phone, and now the video’s one of the most watched thing on youtube! What, you think I got this cutie mark just by lying about it??”

“Well... uhhh...... RAINBOW CRASH!!” said all three jocks in unison, not having anything clever to say.

“Ugh,” groaned Dash with a tired scowl and bad taste in her mouth. “Come on Fluttershy. let’s go. I think my IQ just dropped a little.”

As our two heroes made their way to the Cloudsdale Cloudsdome (owned by Doug Cloudsdome, owner of Cloudsdale Cloudsdome), they spotted a big, magenta hot air balloon rising from the cloudline. The balloon gradually rose high enough for the two pegasi to see the passengers.

“Dusk? Pinkie Pie?” said Rainbow Dash in puzzlement and awe.

“Applejack? Rarity?” Fluttershy said in amazement. “What are you all doing here?”

“We’ve come to watch you perform, Rainbow,” said Rarity. “It’s only natural. We’re your friends, after all. Besides, Dusk told us about Fluttershy’s restraint problems on cheering, so we can personally volunteer to cheer in substitute.”

“But... how are you going to get seats?” Dash asked.

“Easy-peasy!” sang Pinkie. “Watch this!” She jumped from the balloon and dove down onto the semi-transparent cloudline.

Fluttershy screamed, “DON’T PINKIE, YOU CAN’T WALK ON-Hey, how are you doing that? Is this a Pinkie Pie thing? NO DUSK, YOU CAN’T-Oh, thank goodness you can do it too. AH! APPLEJACK, IT’S TOO DANGEROUS TO TRY THREE TIMES AT-Oh, thank goodness...”

“It’s okay, Fluttershy,” Dusk reassured. “I cast a spell that can let ponies temporarily walk on clouds. We’re all perfectly safe.”

Dash looked around curiously. “Uh, aren’t we forgetting somepony? I mean, where the hay is Tr-”

“GAWK IN AMAZEMENT, CLOUDSDALE!” boomed a familiar, narcissistic voice. “CHEER IN MY GLORY! FOR YOU ARE ABOUT TO WITNESS THE NEW, BEAUTIFUL WINGS OF THE GRRREAT AND POWERFUL TRRRIXIE!!!!”

Author's Notes:

Would you believe me If I said that Rainbow Dash came to my house and forced me to go with this chapter title? She’s still here with a gun. SAVE ME!

But enough about me, you remember Princess Platinum? The immortal royal bitch that got trapped in Opulence’s collar?

Yeah, her. Well, I got a lot of unpredicted love for that pony. Maybe it was her backstory. Maybe it was how well she played off her sidekick, Clover the Clever. Maybe it was the way that you guys ended up feeling sympathy for her while she still delivered the right amount of snark. You know what I think it was? The big twist ending where Hoity Toity ended up being miraculously-surviving Clover, and I never fully explained it.

No matter what it was, you all asked for more of the two characters. And let me tell you: It’s almost as annoying as you guys begging for new chapters. ALMOST.

But that’s beside the point. The point is that I’ve came to a bit a problem. That problem is the endeavours of Clover and Platinum aren’t quite related to the romantic trails of Dusk Shine and the gang. So, as you’ve probably already guessed by the title, Platinum’s getting her own spinoff story.

Read it here, but first, there’s a few FAQ about The Unexpected Love Life of Dusk Shine. Scratch that, these aren’t really FAQ; they qualify more as FBC: Frequently Bitched Complaints.

Now, before we begin, I want to make one thing perfectly clear: I love to read comments on this story. 99.9% of them are either hilariously funny, helpfully insightful, and/or wonderfully flattering.

....BUUUT (and this is a really big “but”) some of you annoy the living shit out of me. I also want to remind you that these things don’t necessarily apply to you, but this fandom is a big place, and I’m telling from personal experience this vital piece of information: If it can be put into words, somebody out there is stupid enough to to say it. You know that “love and tolerance” thing that we all brag about? It’s a lie. A big, fat, hypocritical lie. Bronies can be just as angry as any fandom, and they are not afraid to start flame wars about it.

Don’t believe me? Stare at this image and think about everything it implies.

Now that my point has been made, let’s begin.

I’m new to this story, and I just finished reading the whole thing down to the latest chapter. (BTW I NEED MOAR!!!) How often do you update this thing, anyway?

Way back when I first started writing fanfics, I made myself a promise: I would not be like the other authors on this site. I would produce good-quality chapters as fast as possible to keep my readers as happy as they could be.

I was such a DUMBASS back then!

I never took into account that I would eventually have to get back to my actual life. I didn’t even consider that I inevitably have to go through my senior year of high school like I am now. Hell, the pressure of getting accepted into college was nonexistent back then.

So yeah, despite the fact that I’m a human being, there’s also another thing to consider: If I’m constantly on the computer writing my latest chapter, I’m also constantly ON THE INTERNET.

Here’s a newsflash: The internet is a place where productivity goes to die. You can quote me on that.

Your grammar is awful!

Let me tell you a story: I once said that I didn’t have a proofreader. So naturally, one of my readers offered to do it. I said, “Sure,” and we worked on it. I quickly realized that he didn’t really point out any grammar errors; he just nitpicked all the things he personally hated about my fic. I don’t share documents with him anymore.

I tried again with asking a friend of mine that I knew personally to proofread my chapters. Unfortunately, he couldn’t really spot grammar errors either, or read the chapters fast enough for that matter.

So that’s why I don’t have a proofreader, kids. I just double-check my work and hope that the grammar nazis clear up the rest.

How dare you change the rating to mature! Now I have to toggle “View Mature” just to read my favorite fic!

Okay, I’ve debated with myself over this one. When in the middle of writing one of my great ideas (the Pinkie hoofjob, to be precise), I thought to myself, “This really doesn’t go with a teen rating.” I slept on the issue for quite a while and decided to make the change.

And man, I got a lot of backlash. Some of my favorite commenters complained about this. I didn’t want that much hate going around, so I changed it back.

But then I went back and read some more comments. Some readers still thought my story was mature, and they congratulated me for it. They said that they hated the predictability of a teen rating; that they were happy that literally anything could happen to Dusk and the girls to change their relationship between one another.

So, that’s why changed it back. Those guys made a better argument.

Besides, you’ve read about a baby dragon with a regenerating ballsack and enjoyed it. I think you can handle it.

Hey, I have this amazing idea for The Unexpected Love Life of Dusk Shine! Dusk could go ahead and take all of the mares for himself! I’d think it be really cool if you did it! Sure, it might change the plot entirely, but it would be so worth it!

Ah, yes. This one. You know, it’s not technically a complaint. It isn’t even hateful. It’s just a well-intentioned suggestion.

BUT IT’S STILL FUCKING ANNOYING.

I mean, didn’t we already address this back in Wild Mass Guessing Pt. 3? The relationship would be impossible. Do you people have that short of a memory?

Oh, and don’t think that’s the only suggestion that could change the plot forever. There is plenty more where that came from, especially ones concerning specific episodes.

Hey, I have this idea for a fic, but I don’t have the talent or patience to write it myself. Could you please drop everything you’re doing and write it exactly the way I describe it to you?