It was a bright and sunny day in Ponyville. Pinkie was wearing a colorful umbrella hat. She inexplicably darted from one covered area to the next. Dusk Shine watched nearby in curious fascination.

“What’s she doing that for?” he wondered out loud.

“It’s just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.” Spike answered.

Dusk scrunched his nose in deep thought as he remembered all the questions he asked previously in the presence of the peculiar pink party pony.

“Why’s she popping out of nowhere all the time?”

“It’s just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.”

“How does she eats all those sweets and never gets tooth decay?”

“It’s just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.”

“What does she mean, ‘Because the plot demands it?’”

“It’s just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.”

“Should she see a pediatrician if her back is bending at that angle?”

“It’s just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.”

“Where did she get a baby alligator for a pet?”

“It’s just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.”

“How did she put together such a humongous party on such short notice?”

“It’s just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.”

“How and why is she making that face?”

“It’s just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.”

“Gravity isn’t supposed to work like that!”

“It’s just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.”

“Where in the name of Celestia’s Third Commandment is she always hiding that damn crowbar??”

“It’s just Pinkie Pie being-

“No,” Dusk uttered to himself. “This time will be different.” With his confidence at its prime, he marched over to Pinkie.

“Why are you doing that?” he asked.

“Because my tail’s been all twitcha-twitchy,” she answered, never averting her gaze from directly above herself. “And you know what that means!”

“Uhh... no, I don’t,” said Dusk. “I really don’t.”

“It means something’s gonna fall! Usually on somepony’s noggin!”

“Why would it mean something like that?” he questioned.

Pinkie opened her mouth wide. “Ohhhhh, you don’t know about Pinkie Sense yet, do you?”

“What’s Pinkie Sense?”

*WHACK!*

“My balls!”

“Pinkie Sense is these little twitches, itches, and pinches that let me see what’s coming,” Pinkie explained, as if nothing out of the ordinary happened. “For example, if I get floppy ears, sompony’s gonna all messy and dirty.”

“So, you’re hiding under random things because you feel a little off?” he summarized after nursing his crotch.

“Thaaaat’s right!”

“Pinkie, that’s just crazy, even for you,” Dusk scoffed.

[Suit yourself,] shrugged Pinkamena within the empty space of Pinkie’s subconscious, [But don’t come crying to us when you’re suffering head trauma. Besides, you’ll come around by the end of the day anyway.]

Pinkie, however, didn’t let this go so easily. “Hey, I can prove that my Pinkie Sense works!”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah!” she said enthusiastically. “It’ll be nice for developing our characters so we can be together in the end!”

“How are you going to prove that your apparently psychic predictions are all true?”

“Simple,” Pinkie said. “Any second now, something’s gonna fall. Just wait.”

They waited for a brief, awkward time.

Dusk stood triumphant. “See, Pinkie? Unicorn spellcasters have worked eons for the ability to predict the furture, and so far they’ve had nothing. Just because some muscle in your body feels funny doesn’t mean-”

And that’s when a big, green frog fell out of the sky and landed on Dusk Shine’s face.

...

I seriously just wrote that.

“Are you okay, Mr. Ribbits?” called a voice from above. “Thank goodness Dusk caught you!”

“Rrrribbit,” agreed Mr. Ribbits.

“Fluttershy, why are you carrying all those frogs anyway?” asked Dusk.

“Oh, I’m transporting these frogs to Froggy Bottom Bog,” Fluttershy responded. “The other bog is overpopulated, and I just couldn’t stand to see all those frogs bashing into each other whenever they hopped.” She flew down, grabbed the frog off her unofficial boyfriend’s face, and went on her merry way.

“This proves nothing,” Dusk said to Pinkie after a short silence. “That was a coincidence, nothing more.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Dusky-wusky,” Pinkie warned. “After all, my tail’s still twitching, so that means something else is still due to drop.”

“Oh?” he said sarcastically. “And what could that beeeaaAAAHH!” *oof*

“By the way Dusk, watch out for that ditch you just fell in. Honestly some ponies simply have to watch where they’re going. In other news, my tail stopped twitching. Yay!”

“Thanks for warning me,” said Dusk, his face implanted in the dirt. “Excuse me if I’m not jumping for joy,”

“You okay, Dusk?” said Applejack, who had an apple stand set up a short distance away. “Ah saw ya take a mighty fall right there. Yer head still attached to yer neck?”

“I’m fine, Applejack,” assured Dusk, dusting himself off. “By the way, could you talk some sense into Pinkie here? She’s under the impression that things will fall down because her tail is twitching. Ridiculous, right?”

Immediately, Applejack sprung into action, dashing under her cart in a panic. “PINKIE’S TAIL IS TWITCHIN’! DUCK AN’ COVER!!!”

“It’s alright, AJ,” said Pinkie. “There’s no need to panic. It stopped.”

The apple farmer that was ironically colored orange peeked out from under her cart. “You sure? All clear? Ah don’t want some flowerpot droppin’ on mah head like last time.”

[Which was hilarious, by the way,] smiled Pinkamena grimly. [It’s always nice to see other ponies in pain once and awhile.]

“All clear,” Pinkie nodded.

Dusk rolled his eyes. “Are you serious? I know there’s this sort of unspoken acceptance to whenever Pinkie is...... being Pinkie, but this is just silly! Applejack, you’re one of the most down-to-earth mares I’ve met. Don’t tell me that you actually believe this Pinkie Sense nonsense, do you?”

“Sorry Dusk,” Applejack said as she came out from under her cart, “but folks here in Ponyville have sayin’: When Pinkie’s a-twitching, y’all better listen.”

Before Dusk could retort, Pinkie exclaimed, “My ears are flopping! My ears are flopping!”

As soon as she proclaimed that, a carriage ran by and splashed a mud puddle close to Dusk, getting him filthy.

Dusk Shine soaked himself in the soothing bubble bath, dispersing the mud and grime with soap and water.

“Are you sure that it’s necessary for you to be watching me?” he said to Pinkie Pie.

“Umm... define ‘necessary,’”

“Necessary, adjective: being essential, indispensable, or requisite,” he snarked.

“Wow, you are really cranky today,” Pinkie huffed. “You know what you need?”

“What?”

“You need a couple of BATHTIME BUDDIES! Come on Gummy, we’re going for a swim!”

Before Dusk could object, Pinkie grabbed her tragically toothless pet alligator and performed a cannonball into the tub, surprisingly leaving her bones unbroken.

“Pinkie! A mare and a stallion shouldn't be bathing together at this age!” the wet unicorn shouted.

“But isn’t it fun?” she giggled.

“Pinkie, this is serious! Get of of the bath right or I’ll-”

“Shhhh...” Pinkie hush seductively, pressing hoof upon his lips. “Just relax. Sit back. Enjoy. I promise you, this’ll be fun.”

“Fun?” Dusk repeated. He then felt an odd, uncomfortable sensation. “Pinkie, I think Gummy’s swimming a bit close to private territory. Could you make him stop?”

“That’s not Gummy,” Pinkie whispered smugly. She then leaned over to meet his lips with a kiss. As her tongue invaded his mouth, Dusk tasted all the candies and sweets Pinkie undoubtedly recently ate, making her saliva taste like sugar water. Finally, he found the willpower to pull away.

“I think I should leave,” he said.

“Really?” she snickered. “Because I think some part of you is stiff at attention.”

Dusk looked down angrily. You filthy traitor, he silently scolded his sneaky schlong.

“Come on, Dusk-wusky! Just play along,” the wet party animal prompted. “If this scene gets saucy enough, the author-I mean, the non-existent deity will have no choice but to cut away to after this, ensuring a full session of off-screen sex. It’s brilliant!”

Dusk only stared in puzzlement, as Pinkie’s out-of-topic comment completely ruined the mood.

“Do you want to make whoopie or not?” Pinkie grunted, simplifying her motives.

“No!” Dusk refused. “I can’t! I won’t! I didn’t want to tell you this yet Pinkie, but I’m seeing Fluttershy now.”

“That’s okay,” said Pinkie with shrug.

“Great, so now we can get out of the tub and forget this ever-Wait, what?”

“Yeah, it’s okay that you’re seeing Fluttershy,” Pinkie said, ignoring the fact that Dusk had just said ‘what.’ “We have the same voice actress anyway, so it’s like you’re dating me too!”

“That doesn’t make any sense at all,” he protested.

“And since you’re dating me too, it’s okay that I can jerk your twinkie, right? Ooo, it’s still hard!”

“Pinkie, p-please take your hooves off my-”

“It’s like one of those shaky exercise things you see on TV!”

“Pinkie, I’m going to count to ten for you to let goooOOO-OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! UMPH!! Oh... oh.. oh... Ahhhhhh...”

“Aww,” said Pinkie Pie in disappointment, “it got all floppy again. You’re real quick, Dusk! Super-dee-duper quick!”

“Hey, I’m not quick!” he said defiantly. “And besides, that was totally uncalled for!”

“Dusk, that took fifteen seconds,” she said, unimpressed. “That wasn’t even enough time for the non-specific deity to cut away. That was a borderline clop scene, you know!”

“Well, what about me??” he defended. “I was just molested by one of my best friends!”

“It was only a hoofjob.”

“I’m going home,” said Dusk, frustrated and ashamed.

“Wait, don’t go,” said Pinkie, stopping him by grabbing his shoulder. “We haven’t given Gummy a turn!”

“Gummy?”

“Yeah! Do you have any idea how hard this little trooper can suck things?”

Dusk Shine stood inside the basement of Ponyville’s local library. Closeby, Pinkie was hooked up to one of the machines he bought out of his own budget.

“Wait, how did we get here?” he wondered aloud.

“Don’t question it,” shushed Pinkie. “If you say less about what happened before, the readers will assume that we went all the way.”

“But we didn’t go all the way,” said Dusk. “You just said something inappropriate about Gummy, and the next thing we somehow ended up here! THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!”

“Whoa, calm down Dusk,” said Pinkie. “Take a deep breath. You know what’ll make you feel better?”

Dusk looked at Pinkie expectantly.

“Doing science-y stuff!” she said gleefully. “I bet you could totally figure out how my Pinkie Sense works with whatever this is!” She gestured to the metallic helmet she was wearing with mutiple blinking lights.

[Yeah, Dusk can figure Pinkie Sense out,] Pinkamena scoffed. [And I bet if he wishes upon a star, all his dreams will come true, too.]

“That’s a cranium scanner,” informed Dusk. “It measures activity within the brain and neural system. How’d you put that on?”

Pinkie bounced in her seat. “Come onnnn, scan me already! I bet scanning is really fun. Does it tickle?”

Dusk took a deep breath, promised himself that they would revisit the whole ‘hoofjob’ issue later (which was really more of a ‘hoofjob/time skip’ issue, when you think about it), and focused on the advancement of scientific progress. So, he waited for Pinkie to get another twitch.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

“Anything yet?” he asked the pink enigma.

“Nope.”

They waited together.

And waited

And waited.

And waited.

For a change of pace, they waited some more.

After a fair amount of the well-honored-practice of waiting, Dusk finally did another thing: He remembered something from his foalhood.

“Are you really going to sit around and wait for the mail to come? A watched pot never boils, you know.”-Dusk’s mother

“This isn’t working,” he said, giving up and pulling Pinkie’s helmet off. “Go home, Pinkie Pie. I’ve had enough craziness for one day.”

“Hey, we’re not done!” insisted Pinkie. “I can tell that you’re still in a grumpy mood, and nopony has a sour face on my watch. Come on, let’s do more science-y stuff! What’s this machine do?”

“That relays Ponyville’s weather patterns to the Cloudsdale Weather Corperation’s database,” Dusk sighed. “Don’t touch it.”

“Can I touch this one?”

“No, that one stores my findings on Spike’s growth patterns.”

“How about this one?”

“That’s a zero-gravity containment field. It holds my supply of antimatter for special occasions. Don’t touch it.”

“How about these bubbly things?”

“That’s my Talent Enhancer project. I’ve been working on it ever since I’ve gotten my very first chemistry set. Don’t touch it.”

“What’s this big thingy over here?”

“That’s the Life-Size Fully-Poseable Presto the Magnificent Action Figure that I bought online. It’s in mint condition; don’t touch it.”

“What’s this door lead to?”

“That’s my fallout shelter. Don’t touch anything in there.”

“What about the other door? Why’s it locked?”

“That leads to The Chart.”

“What’s The Chart?”

“Uhh... Celestia gave it to me. It’s a secret of national security. Don’t go in there.”

“What’s this doohickey for?”

The doohickey in question looked roughly similar to an old recording device with jumper cables attached to it. The machine was aged and dusty, but it seemed well-kept, like an antique in a china shop.

“That,” Dusk answered, “belonged to my dad. He mailed it to me after the defeat of Nightmare Moon. It’s just an old war token.”

“War token?” parroted Pinkie Pie. “Was he in the army? And another thing, There was recently a WAR??”

“Well, sort of,” Dusk said. “He was a Dream Jumper.”

Dream Jumpers were a division of Celestia’s Intelligence Agency. (The CIA.) Their origin dates back to the banishment of Nightmare Moon. You see, Nightmare Moon would sometimes come all the way down from the moon to Equestria through sleeping ponies and cause them bad dreams, just so they would remember her name and reputation. (This actually spurred the creation of the term ‘nightmare,’ but that’s not important.) Sometimes, the dreams were so horrific, her victims went into shock while still asleep, rendering them comatose.

That’s where the Dream Jumpers came in. They would use a special machine to go into the victim’s endless nightmare, fight off the terrors, and help the victim wake up by letting him/her conquer his/her fears. The society was kept secret, so the only ones that knew about them were the ones that believe in things like the Illuminati, the Loch Neighs Monster or human beings. Unfortunately, when Nightmare Moon turned back into the benevolent Princess Luna, there was no more need for Dream Jumpers, and Celestia quietly disbanded them.

“Oh, a real live Night Jumper machine!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I always wanted to see one of these!”

“I really, really, REALLY wouldn’t touch it,” warned Dusk.

“How does it work? Do you know?”

“Umm... I think you attach these wires to the dreamer’s head,” he said, “And then you attach these to your own head, you hit this button here, and then it knocks you out cold.”

Just then, Pinkie had a brilliant idea. “What if you went into MY dreams? Wouldn’t that be fun? We’d be like, going on a dream date! Also, you’d stop being a grumpy-wumpy-McCrankybutt today ‘cause you’d be in the happiest place in Equestria: My brain! I think TONS of happy stuff!”

[What am I, chopped liver?]

“Yeah, not gonna happen,” said Dusk after thinking that pleasant scenario over a fragment of a second. “Like I said, I’ve had enough craziness for today. Besides, one of us would have to be unconscious first.”

“Well, why didn’tcha say so, silly?”

The last thing that Dusk Shine remembered was a comedically oversized mallet dropping on his head, then blackness.

Author's Notes:

Since I’ve already made a pun from the title, all Inception jokes are hereby banned from the comments for being unoriginal and redundant.