Fluttershy’s ancestor (her great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather to be precise), the brave and fearless Commander Hurricane of Pegasopolis, was freezing his tail off. He had just come back to base from killing a dragon, a feat which nopony had done in recorded history, when the elders he hired to make all the political decisions (because back then, it was a common belief among pegasi that thinking too hard gave you Cutie Pox, so they left the burden to the old and dying, as they suffered less) told him to pack his bags and leave for some temple named High Hrothgar, located at a mountaintop that was titled The Throat of the World. And no, he did not know how to pronounce that.

“Go to High Hrothgar,” the wrinkled old farts said. “The Greybeards have summoned you, Commander.”

“Who the buck are the Greybeads?” he asked.

“They are an ancient tribe of monks that study an ancient magic called The Way of the Voice,” they responded.

“Can this ‘Way of the Voice’ be weaponized?” asked Hurricane eagerly.

“It’s very dangerous, and it was not meant to be in the hooves of mortals…”

“That sounds like a ‘yes’ to me!” said the military dictator with glee.

So, here he was, at the top of the accursed mountain, after taking a road called The Seven-Thousand Steps. Hurricane then painfully realized that he could just fly up there instead of taking the path that inconveniently had him cross paths with wolves, bears, and a Frost Troll, so he punished himself with a facehoof before walking into the temple.

“Welcome to High Hrothgar,” bowed a robed pony with a beard that was surprisingly white, not gray. Lousy false advertising. “We are honored to be in your presence, Dovakiin.”

“Who’s Dough-vah-keen?” demanded Commander Hurricane, standing on his hind legs to make fisticuffs. “Do I have to kill him to get the super-weapon? Lemme at ‘em!”

“You misunderstand,” said the Graybeard, still retaining his serenity, yet taking a more apologetic tone, like the one you use for when you accidently insult someone’s mother. “Dovakiin is a title in the ancient dragon tongue for one who has dragon blood in them.”

Hurricane dropped his front hooves to the ground and looked at the Graybeard like he was just told that pigs had wings. “I’m pretty sure that my grandma didn’t clop a dragon,” the military dictator said bluntly.

“Umm… that’s a different kind of Dovakiin,” said the Greybeard, whom from now on will be addressed as Musky Whiskers, because I’m sick of just calling him “the Greybeard.” “The kind that you are uses Thu’um, or Shouts, to perform great magical feats. The Greybeards study Thu’um and believe that it is the key to the path of enlightenment.”

“Sooo, I’m gonna learn magic words from you guys?” said Hurricane. “Awesome!”

“Not exactly,” said Musky Whiskers. “Normal ponies study the Voice by attempting to encompass each word, filling its meaning into them until it becomes a part of them. The Dovakiin can do this, but you learn by absorbing the soul of a dragon, which you have done quite recently. When you absorbed the soul, we felt your presence in this world, and we summoned you here.” He cocked his head to the side in curiosity. “How did you come across the courage to slay a dragon, anyhow?”

“It stole my sweetroll,” said Hurricane with a frown.

“And that’s all it took to motivate you?”

“No, it came into the capital of Pegasopolis and ate somepony I knew named Sweetroll.”

“Oh, I’m sorry for your loss,” said Musky Whiskers, nodding in understanding. “Was she important to you?”

“Sorta,” said Hurricane. “We had this deal where we had sex every Thursday, nothing more. So, when do I learn to use those godly powers that I can barely comprehend?”

“Well, the most simple of Shouts goes like this: Fus, Ro, and Dah,” said Musky Whiskers as he waved a hoof. As he did, three words in the dragon language appeared glowing on the stone floor.

Commander Hurricane took a deep breath, imagining how jealous Chancellor Puddinghead would be when he show him this. “FUS… RO…

…dah…” The last part sounded like the most pathetic mouse in the world whispering her teddy bear goodnight.

Musky Whiskers raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry,” he told Hurricane cynically. “The translation for Thu’um is ‘Shout,’ not ‘Whimper like a Little Bitch.’ When you are serious about this, try it again, only louder.”

Hurricane snorted in frustration. He inhaled again. “dah!”

“Louder.”

“dah!”

“Louder!”

“dah!”

“LOOOOUDERRR!!!!!”

Commander Hurricane sucked in his breath with all his might. “daaaahhh!~"

This went on for countless hours. Finally, Musky Whiskers gave up.

“We truly sense dragon blood in you,” he said with a sorrowful tone, “But it seems that it has not fully awakened yet.”

“When will it finally mature?” asked Commander Hurricane impatiently.

“Who knows?” the old stallion shrugged. “It could take generations.”

Commander Hurricane’s direct descendant (his great-great-great-you-know-the-drill-great-granddaughter), Fluttershy Bloodsplatter Hurricane, was cowering in fright, despite having the most awesome name ever. She was terrified of dragons, more than anything else in Equestria. And now she had to go up a mountain and actually talk to one.

Yep, she was totally gonna die. To prevent such a fate, she had made it her highest priority to stand behind the toughest thing she could find at all times. The tough object in question was named Shinning Armor, Dusk Shine’s big brother.

“You know the dragon won’t even be able to see us until we get to the top of the mountain, right?” Dusk said to her, an annoyed look on his face that was more directed at his brother than to her.

“Shhh!” she hushed. “They can smell fear!”

“Well, would you at least get off Shiny? You’re slowing him down.”

“N-n-not a ch-chance,” she stuttered as she rode on Shining Armor piggy-back style. She held onto him with an iron grip.

“Fluttershy, you’re wearing the spare set of full-body armor the guards brought along,” Dusk pointed out blantly. “And to top it off, we’re not going to fight the dragon, we’re just going to persuade him to move to another mountain.”

“Speaking of which,” Trixie added, “What’s this mountain called, anyway?”

Dusk Shine looked at the map. “It seems to be named Stereotypical Mountain With a Cave at the Peak.”

“Lamest. Name. Ever,” said Rainbow Dash with eye roll.

“Hey!” shouted Applejack, offended. “Mah granny’s ma named these mountains. Are you callin’ mah family dumb?”

“Only if they were stupid enough to name a mountain that,” Dash snorted.

“They WEREN’T stupid! Thhey jus’ ran outta names, that’s all. Ah mean, look around you; Ponyville’s surrounded by mountains!”

“Sure does explain the name of the mountain just east of this one,” Dusk shine remarked, his eyes not leaving the map.

“What’s it called?” inquired Rarity out of curiousity.

“Mt. Celestia, Keep Yer Damn Hooves Off Mah Husband, or Ah’ll Rip Yer Buckin’ Throat Out,” he read aloud.

“Granny Smith always said that her pa was a keeper,” AJ said with pride.

“It still is a sorry waste of mountains,” Rainbow Dash argued. “If I was in charge, I’d name each and every single one of them something cool, like Mount Kick-Flank or Dash-Everest.” She flew up toward the two guards that accompanied Shinning Armor, a couple of standard pegasus guards. “You guys argee with me, right? What would you name this beauty that we’re climbing?”

“No lollygaggin’,” said the first guard.

“That’s not an awesome name, that’s just weird,” deadpanned Dash.

“What is it? Dragons?” said the second guard.

“No, duh!” she scoffed. “Remember? Smoke all over Equestria? That’s why you’re all the way out here, for Pete’s sake! Didn’t you read the memo?”

“Rainbow Dash, they’re trained to say that,” explained Shining Armor. “It’s to spread the message that the law force isn’t something that can be bribed or negotiated with. Celestia calls it a psychological warfare against crime.”

“Ooo! Ooo! I’m really good at it!” declared Pinkie Pie. She faced the Royal Guards and addressed them. “I used to be a Pegasus like you, then I took an arrow to the wing!”

[Pinkie,] said Pinkamena, [We need to talk.]

Okay, thought Pinkie Pie, Do you wanna talk about the joke I just made? That was pretty funny, wasn’t it?

[No, it wasn’t,] said Pinkamena solemnly. [It really wasn’t.]

Don’t be silly, said Pinkie, yet not out loud, Me, Pinkie Pie? Not funny? Those words don’t belong in the same sentence. The fans love me!

[Pinkie, you have a serious problem. You’re becoming one singular running gag, and you need to branch out. It’s like you’re addicted to breaking the fourth wall.]

I can quit anytime I want! Pinkie snapped. Besides, you do it too!

[I was getting to that,] Pinkamena said while raising an eyebrow inside their mind. [We both have a problem. That’s why if you don’t quit right this minute, I’m sending our fat flank to rehab. I will turn around, walk straight down this mountain, go into the Sugarcube Corner basement, and duct tape our mouth shut until we learn some control.]

Pinkie gasped, out loud this time. “You wouldn’t!”

[Try me.]

“You can’t tell me what to do! The readers can’t even understand what you’re saying with that pink font of yours!”

[THEN LISTEN TO THIS: WE ARE GOING BREAK THIS BAD HABIT, EVEN IF IT KILLS ME!!!!!!!!!!]

There was a long pause. The icy wind blew around the rocky peaks. Everypony was staring at Pinkie Pie, because she had switch to arguing aloud while Pinkamena quietly stayed within her subconscious.

Dusk spoke up. “Pinkie Pie, is everything alright? You were practically screaming at yourself.”

“Everything’s okie-dokie-lokie, Dusky-Wusky,” said Pinkie, flashing a smile. Inside her head, she looked Pinkamena in the eye. Can I at least do it one more time? the party animal pleaded.

[Ugh, I suppose so,] muttered Pinkamena. [Every smoker’s gotta have a last cigarette, right?]

Pinkie walked over to Fluttershy who was still clinging on Shining Armor’s back. “Pst! Fluttershy!” Pinkie whispered.

“What?” said Fluttershy. “I’m sorry this is inconvenient, but I’m trying to cower in fear here.”

“IknowIknowIknow,” said Pinkie Pie, “but this is important. You see, I’ve found a way to stop the dragon from being scary,”

“You have? Oh, that’s wonderful!”

“But here’s the catch: Only you have to do it.”

“M-m-m-m-me?!?” said Fluttershy, stumbling over her words and hiding beneath er mane in the most adorable way possible. “Why’s it have to be me? Can’t it be somepony else? I can’t handle the pressure!”

“It’s easy,” said Pinkie Pie as if she was telling her friend how to make a homemade recipe, “All you gotta do is tell him to stay outta your shed!”

“…Pinkie, I don’t own a shed. You know that.”

“Trust me, it’ll work.”

Our heroes were halfway up the mountain by now. Pinkie’s words gave Fluttershy no confidence. The doormat shivered from the cold breeze, not to mention her terror. Dusk Shine was grumbling about how he could have given her comfort and warmth rather than his brother, but everypony ignored him. Luna gestured the bookworm over to her so they could talk.

“What troubles you, fair mage?” said Luna at an even volume, not wanting to yell her love’s eardrums out.

“It’s Fluttershy,” sighed Dusk. “She hasn’t kept her hooves off Shiny since he got here. I think she might be falling for him.”

“And what if she does?” said Luna.

“Sorry, what?”

“We ask of thee, what dost thou plan to do if this maiden is already wooed by the good Captain?” Luna cocked her head.

Dusk looked at the ground as he thought hard. “I suppose I can’t stay mad at him for that. I mean, he’s my brother, you know?” He swallowed a lump that was forming in his throat. “But then again, I can’t just stand by there and watch. I love her, and she just doesn’t seem comfortable with me. Well, there was that one time where she told me about a sex fantasy that featured me and accidentally made out with me in an act of lust, but we really haven’t talked since then. I’m not really sure what she thinks about me now. Was I just a phase that she was going through? Does my brother fit the ‘great protector’ ideals that she likes more than I fit them? Luna, what would you do if you liked somepony, but he was interested in someone else?”

Dusk then suddenly remembered that Luna not only kissed him, but had referred to him as the “Royal Boyfriend” not three hours ago. He guessed that she might be a little upset by him complaining about another mare he liked. The moon princess looked unnaturally calm, even smiling a little. They both slowed their pace, and she put a wing around him gently. It began to snow lightly, putting an intimate mood. A stranger that saw this would say that the two ponies looked like a cute couple strolling in the park.

“What would we do?” Luna repeated. “We would find another suitor. Somepony else who loves us for who we are, not as a pretty face. We would then wish our previous lover well, and live a happy life with the new one. But we wouldst have to be careful in our search for the next one to give our heart to, for it easy to be broken. Sometimes…” She leaned in to whisper in his ear. Her soft body felt warm against Dusk’s. It was a cozy sensation, like a snuggly blanket and a hot coco on a freezing winter’s night. Dusk’s heart was beating out his chest by this time. “…it is best to look where thou hath forgotten to look.”

She nuzzled his neck affectionately, and lifted her wing off him. She began to pick up her pace again, making up for lost time.

“REMEMBER, DUSK SHINE!” she called back in the Royal Canterlot Voice. “CHOOSE WISELY~!”