The Shining Armor

Groaning, Flashfire flopped himself down into his bed, not even bothering to undress himself. He’d just been out a meeting with the rest of the important members of the ship’s crew in Flurry’s ready room. The Equestrian Star, damaged from cannon blasts. Same story with the Orion, the Piercing Arrow, and the Solar Radiance. And that wasn’t counting the internal damage the Shining Armor itself had suffered thanks to the Deathworm’s rampage. While it never actually got control over the ship per say, this particular breed of creature seemingly had a natural electric current running through it’s body. Threw it’s tendrils in various primary systems, overloaded them and made everything go haywire.

“Damage report coming up now,” the Twilight-AI told him. “You want me to put it up onscreen or…”

“Stave it off till tomorrow, I’m exhausted really. Merde, we all are with all these repairs that need to be done. Stupid, silly mistake investigating those Deathworm eggs like Sherlock Hooves wannabees, even stupider to bring one onboard,” Flashfire grumbled, with the Twilight-AI running her fingers through his mane in a comforting manner. “We got lucky, no other way of saying it. We just got lucky that we managed to stop that one that got aboard thanks to our own stupidity, and even luckier that we had the good sense to grab only one of those and not the whole cache.”

“Stupidity?” the Twilight-AI questioned. “Was it really? Because Deathworms, and this is only a theory mind you given what I’ve seen so far, but Dark Matter seems to have complete and utter control over the species. How do you know those eggs weren’t left out there for us? I mean, the Doctor said we’ve got assassins after us now, how do you know they didn’t plan on banking on our curiosity?”

“...That makes me feel slightly better, but not by much. I mean, we still brought the damn things aboard right?” Flashfire asked before getting up out of his bed and going over to a replicator and asking for coffee, black. Taking a sip of his drink, and thanking Celestia it hadn’t been replaced with a plant or something like he heard Coldcast’s alcohol had a few days before. Some of the synthesizing machines still were on the fritz apparently. Another job for the chief engineer. If the gal wasn’t so quiet and didn’t like him so much, Flashfire suspected she’d have honestly exploded at him by now. And broken food and drink synthesizers weren’t the only problems. Just a few hours ago, he’d been witness to an argument between the chief medical examiner and his drafted nurse in Spada.

“The knitter isn't working!” Lightspeed had shouted at the Changeling in a bout of frustration while helping an engineer who’d been caught in a small accident not that long before.

“Try a splint, then,” Spada had suggested, only to receive a look of confusion.

“A splint?” the dark red stallion mouthed.

“Yes, a splint. It's a very ancient concept. Honestly, by the Hive Mother I wonder how you got appointed without basic knowledge of older medical practices,” Spade snapped in frustration, before taking a deep breath. “You take two flat pieces of wood or plastic, a bandage. The broken limb is kept immobile. I’ve had to do this a few times back on Equus in my hive with a few of the younger grubs at times when they broke something. Crude yes, but it’s effective enough and all we got till medical bay systems are repaired.” he continued, with Lightspeed giving him a bewildered look.

“That's crazy! That's not practicing medicine!” he exclaimed, with Spada facepalming and then making a noise of frustration muttering under his breath about how ludicrous it was a simple cook was more qualified for this job right now than someone who learned actual medicinal practices. Needless to say, tempers and nerves were at an all-time high. What Flashfire suspected was everyone needing some time away from the ship to relax and unwind, but that was obviously impossible for multiple reasons.

“Oh, yes it is! It's a time-honored way to practice medicine: with your head, and your heart, and your hands. So jump to it!” Spade had barked and Flashfire was snapped back to the present via Twilight’s voice.

“Yes, you did, but you didn’t have any way of knowing they were alien eggs did you?” Twilight asked him with Flashfire grumbling out a reply as he went over his daily report that he was supposed to send to Flurry. “Get some rest, I’ll finish this up for you.”

“No, no need. I’m supposed to do this damn thing anyways,” Flashfire replied, and Twilight chuckled. Flashfire gave the holographic projection a look. “What’s so funny?” he had to ask.

Twilight stifled another giggle. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were romantically interested in my niece. I mean, you’re loyal to a fault to her, and you’re always striving to impress her.”

Flashfire was rendered speechless for a few minutes, unable to ponder where the hell Twilight even got that assumption. It was just simple loyalty to one’s boss, that’s all it was. And striving to impress bit? That was a simple part of his nature, from a young age he’d always had this drive to be the best at whatever he set out to do, so much so that he often got called ‘Teacher’s pet’ more than a few times as he went through school. Not that he particularly cared, as he knew if he wanted to be one of the ones making it as a pilot for the long talked about and theorized Voyagers being just good enough to make it by would not be acceptable. No, he had to be one of the best of the best. That’s all there was to it.

“For all the good it does, she’s practically unapproachable. And besides, even if I was interested in her, which I’m not,” Flashfire replied. “She’s so out of my age range it’s not even funny. I mean, she’s billions of years older than I am!” he proclaimed, and Twilight probably would have chuckled if she could read his thoughts. He was contradicting himself, and he knew it. He admitted if only to himself as saying it aloud would cause no end of remarks, that Flurry was, in fact, a very beautiful mare. So what if she was a bit stern? She had to be in her position, fooling around like an idiot -Stardust’s face popped into Flashfire’s mind about then- was quite unbecoming of a Princess.

“Same could be said about Celestia when I started dating her…” Twilight reminded him. “Age is but a number for immortals right?”

“...Since when did this become a discussion about my romantic life?” Flashfire asked. “This was supposed to be a discussion about damage reports!”

“I heard no discussion of the kind,” Twilight replied with a small smirk. “But, alright. I’ll oblige you and stop nagging at you about this. Instead, I have other suggestions. Stripped wanted me to inform you that there’s this very dense nebula nearby, gases so thick that any sensors on Dark Matter ships would find it impossible for them to breach it. Would make a good hiding spot till repairs are completed on the colony ships. Worth a thought.”

“I made an error in judgment, Twilight. It was short-sighted and it was selfish, all just to satisfy my own curiosity. Our own curiosity. And now all of us are paying for my mistake,” Flashfire muttered. “So yeah, it’s more than worth a thought to entertain. I’ll send this up the ladder to Flurry and Stardust, ask them to direct the ships to that nebula and chart a course for it. For the next few days, that’ll be our little hideaway, and once repairs are complete we’ll make a break for the next system,” Flashfire remarked, writing this down on his datapad for the daily report. “Bring the nebula up onscreen, will you? I want to see just what we’re getting ourselves into.”

Twilight, pressing a few buttons brought up the nearby nebula on a nearby viewscreen. It was a beautiful sight really, dark swirling clouds of midnight blue and purple hues that dwarfed the massive colony ships, perfect for them to hide in with nobody being the wiser.

So transfixed by it’s beauty was he, Flashfire was deathly silent for the next several minutes.

“...Something wrong?” Twilight asked, laying a hand on his shoulder.

“No, it’s nothing,” Flashfire replied, with a small smile and a shake of the head. “It’s just so… Well, I don’t know how to describe it properly, except perhaps elegant. But no time for gazing at the scenery porn, we’ve got a job to do.”

“No,” Twilight replied. “I’ve got a job to do, your job is to get some rest. You’re exhausted, and there’s no room for a tired commander in the Paladins, so get some sleep and whatever plans you have, we’ll go over with them in the morning.”

“But-”

But Twilight was having none of it, and she simply pressed a finger to his forehead and in almost an instant Flashfire fell back into his bed eyes closed and snoring softly. Twilight smiled, before shutting out the lights and dispersing herself.

That next morning, in the ready room Flashfire made a radical proposal. He’d been thinking about this all throughout breakfast, and had come to the conclusion that it was the only possible viable scenario.

“I think it’s time we start looking into other options,” he remarked, with Flurry, Stardust and the other Paladins looking at him.

“Other options?” Stardust asked. “Please elaborate.”

“Think about it,” Flashfire commented, gesturing to the nebula outside. “For the time being, we may as well be sitting ducks. Our ships are damaged, and we don’t even know if hiding in this nebula will work.”

“Twilight’s ran the calculations,” Stardust replied. “She says that Dark Matter’s sensors shouldn’t be able to penetrate any of this.”

“Yes, but she’s only using calculations based on what we know so far,” Jabari pointed out, seeing exactly where Flashfire was going with this. “I mean, those ships we encountered in Lupus’ fleet? Hellishly powerful and frighteningly dangerous yes, but for all we know Dark Matter may have even more powerful ships with even more advanced sensors. For all Twilight knows, for all we know, we could be just sitting at the tip of the iceberg. They could find us, as I doubt they’re particularly happy about us blowing one of their rulers to space dust,” he agreed. “We need to start forming a coalition, gather allies if only for our own safety as we travel across the universe. And fight back against Dark Matter.”

“Wait, wait…” Fågel piped up, the parrot looking uncharastically nervous. “I’m one for kicking ass, but who died and appointed us guardians of the universe? I mean, we’re just five ships and a couple hundred starfighters plus two mecha against 87 Galaxies worth of tyrants. We got lucky the first time, who’s to say the second will be the same?”

“Exactly, 87 galaxies worth,” Flashfire stated. “Now, call me crazy, but isn’t in the job description of the Element of Kindness to free people from a cruel dictator? Hell, isn’t it in the job of any Element of Harmony to save Equus and her allies? Our planet may be gone, but it’s just a ball of rock and dust in the end. Equus is a people, and apologies in advance if I sound preachy here like some sorta cosmic messiah but our job as Element Bearers and embodiments of the Magic of Friendship is to extend that idea to other races, and stop evil wherever it hides. Am I not wrong?” he asked.

A silence permeated the room for several odd minutes, but finally, it was broken when Flurry nickered. “May be the damn death of us as a race, but…” she sighed before pressing a button on her chair opening up a comm channel to Summer Afterglow, the Kirin in charge of navigations. “Summer, find us the nearest inhabited planet, I’d like to know who we share our galaxy with.”

“On it!” a perky feminine voice cried. “Seems there’s this planet, Vera it’s called in the local tongue. Water world for the most part, detecting a few villages on the coastlines. Not much, but could be worth a look.”

“Okyu then,” Flashfire piped up, before internally groaning at his usage of that terrible pun before groaning some more as Stardust gleamed. “Prepare an away team. Spada, Stripped, Doctor, you’re with me. Doctor, I’m going to need you as a guide, you’ve faced the Dark Matter Empire, what are we likely to expect?”

“Planets, they’re ruled by the local Magistrates placed there by Karōs. Your basic oppressive tyrant, designed to do anything they can to keep the locals in line. Of course, now that the Karō is dead,” he commented, with both him and Coldcast sharing a smirk. “Things have likely devolved into chaos, with the Magistrate trying to do anything and everything in his power to show he should be next in line for ruling this Galaxy.”

“Well, we’ll just have to knock him off his pedestal won’t we?” Stripped remarked. “Count me in, always up for a good explore!”

“Well then, you heard the man,” the Doctor exclaimed. “Let’s get to our Voyagers and start extending the hand of friendship eh?”

As they walked to the hanger bay, the Doctor searched through his memories as to who might have been the local Magistrate. “Okay… Okay, Planet Vera. Goneshi, if things haven’t changed should be the one manipulating things down there. Just look for the guy dressed like a scuba diver, that'd be the one. He’s easy enough to spot.” the Doctor remarked. “Very egotistical. He loves to be in charge. It’s all about him, in his mind.”

“Ah, the narcissistic type,” Stripped remarked. “Should be easy enough to take care of, we’ll just hold up a giant mirror and ask him to look at himself before we blast him.”

“Oh, if it were only so easy…” the Doctor remarked as he entered his Voyager’s cockpit and began bringing systems online with presses of buttons. “He’s narcissistic like any good dictator yes, but far from stupid. You don’t rule over an entire planet’s populace by getting stupid. Chances are, he’s likely holed up in his ship which he’s placed somewhere out of sight. I’ve run into this guy before, on another planet. His distinctive appearance makes him easy to find, so he hides and controls things on a planet from the shadows through various means. One time, it was a puppet ruler. Rassilon only knows what he’s doing this time.”

“Well, whatever it is,” Flashfire remarked. “We’ll just have to put a stop to it. All Rangers, call in. Cerberus Seagreen ready.” he stated, as engines began to fire up with a whir and a hum.

“Libra Gold ready. Allons-Y!” the Doctor proclaimed

“Dorado Yellow, ready,” Stripped put in. “Switching on marine armaments. Harpoons and depth charges at the ready.”

“Chameleon Green ready,” Spada put in. “Commander, I assume you want me to extend my Voyager’s cloaking field to the other ships so we don’t arouse suspicion?”

“Mhmm,” Flashfire nodded as the bay doors open. “Now, engage.”

With that, all four ships rocketed out of the Shining Armor and their pilots readied themselves for whatever was to come.

Almost as soon as the foursome entered the atmosphere, vision became more or less a fantasy as surrounding the four ships on all sides was a thick heavy fog, probably created thanks to the planet’s natural weather patterns. With a small yelp, Flashfire maneuvered his Voyager just in time to avoid smashing his ship into a mountain peak.

“All scanners, set to wide range. Radar, give us a map of the area!” Stripped said. “Echolocation activated, plugging in Delphinus Kyutama for full maximization of their abilities,” As the unicorn activated his Kyutama along with everything else onboard, a wave of energy from the Swordfish Voyager was projected, and a map of the area around them, mountains included was projected allowing safe passage through the fog-covered terrain. “Okay, seeing a safe spot for us to set down just a few clicks ahead. There’s a village nearby as well, I’d say we talk to the natives. Figure out what’s going on here.”

“I agree,” the Doctor put in as the scale-themed Voyager set itself down. “Vera, it’s known for it’s crystal clear waters and yet what I’m detecting can only be described as sludge. Something’s polluting this place, and I have a sneaking suspicion as to what…”

“Goneshi?” Flashfire asked, and the Doctor gave a grunt of confirmation. “Well, least we know he’s around.” the unicorn continued as the group made their way down a mountain pass to the coastline, where a small village had been set up with the buildings made out of a combination of various gathered stones and wooden logs. Various fish-like creatures -Vaguely reminding Flashfire of the inhabitants of Klugetown- were gathered around a small altar, praying to some sorta god.

“...First alien civilization we meet, and it’s crap,” Stripped muttered, before the Doctor slapped him over the head.

“Oi, be nice eh? You really need to stop setting your expectations so high! Not every civilization is going to be high-rise buildings with technology beyond your own. Some of these, just starting to walk!”

“Doc’s right,” Spada remarked. “I mean, take what you’re given. Personally, I think standing on the shores of another world, quite literally in this case, is just eccezionale!”

“You lot are so easy to please…” Stripped huffed, crossing his arms. “Now say, what’s going on here? Can’t be praying for rain, now can they? Place is wet enough as it is, really…”

“Well, let’s just keep quiet and listen, shall we?” Flashfire asked, gesturing for everyone to take cover behind a rock as a low moan echoed across the bay.

Suddenly, from out of the mists came a truly massive form, a humpbacked creature with a long neck and a tiny head with two glowing yellow eyes.

“...Okay, so what is that?” Stripped muttered while Spada crossed himself and murmured: “Dalla madre di Hive…”

“Your tributes are not enough!” a deep voice bellowed from the creature. “How am I supposed to cleanse your seas if I am not well fed!”

“I’m sorry, but the fish, we can’t catch enough of them thanks to these waters! What little we’ve given you on offer, that’s barely enough to feed you, let alone our families! Please Lord Dialos! Just… Just give us a little more time!” the elderly shark-like village chieftain pleaded, clutching onto his staff.

“Your bargaining posture is highly dubious,” the creature remarked. “But very well, you have just one week to pay up, or I shall leave this place and never return…” he warned, before vanishing once more into the mists just as quickly as he’d appeared.

“Some God…” Spada muttered in disgust. “Hardly the merciful sort! Asking for more food than they can provide, and then bidding them ciao if they refuse!”

“Odd really,” the Doctor mused, rubbing his chin in thought. “I thought the people of Vera had grown past worshipping gods of any sort,”

“Well, desperation drives ponies to do strange things, really,” Flashfire mused. “Their seas are filled with a toxic sludge, and from that they can barely find enough food to feed themselves so I suppose turning to prayer isn’t that odd… Still, I’d want to talk to the villagers, find out what’s truly going on around here. Shall we?” he asked, and nobody disagreed. “Quite. Allons-Y!”

Their arrival was treated with whispers and fearful glances, some of the villagers pointing to Flashfire and Stripped’s horns and the whispers only increased, some beginning to think witchcraft was responsible for the poisoning of the seas.

“People of Vela, we only come in good faith,” Flashfire said, mustering up all the diplomatic skills he’d been taught over the years. “I apologize for the sudden entrance, but really, we bring you no harm. Fact is, we wanted to talk actually.”

“Or poison our waters even more!” one villager shouted, reaching for his trident but Flashfire didn’t flinch, and with a movement of his hand pushed it away. He didn’t look particularly perturbed at the bows and arrows aimed at him either. As ever, he kept cool and calm under pressure. No sense in panicking, considering if he did that in any situation -even one as minor as this- that panic might spread to his teammates.

“I assure you, had nothing to do with that. Fact is, we’re just as curious as to what’s going on here as you are really,” Flashfire replied. “Name’s Flashfire Lulamoon of the starship Shining Armor and these are my friends Spada, Stripped Gear and the Doctor. Bit cold around here, is this normal for your planet?”

“I apologize,” the village chieftain said. “You came at a really bad time of year, the wet season always brings rather chilly temperatures. Good for fishing the local waters, but not much else. Alas, we don’t even have that particular luxury now…”

“Well, might be able to mend that if only a little,” Flashfire said, pulling out one of his personal favorite Kyutamas, -The other two being Andromeda and Lyra- a bright orange orb with a flame on it. This one used the powers of the Ara constellation and projected a hearth crackling with a warm flame. He looked towards Spada, with the yellow Changeling nodding and pulling out the Pisces Kyutama which created a massive fish and with a few quick movements of a kitchen knife he filleted it and began cooking it over a spit. “Never let it be said that I don’t try to help those in need.”

“How…?” the chieftain asked as the villagers gasped in awe. Stripped’s eyes narrowed slightly, it always struck him as odd that Flashfire favored Kyutamas to perform tasks like lighting a fire, teleporting in a fish or binding something in iron chains when all of these things could easily enough be done via simple spellwork. Fact was, he’d rarely seen Flashfire use magic compared to some of the other unicorns aboard the Shining Armor.

Spada bowed. “Molto Bene, all in a day’s work for yours truly!” he proclaimed in glee, just soaking up the praise.

“They’re called Kyutamas, they harness the powers of the 88 constellations. Not entirely sure how they work, you’d have to ask Stripped Gear over there for that,” Flashfire continued ignoring Spada’s showboating, and looked towards the coastline where Stripped was investigating the waters with a hand-held scanning device with the Microscopium Kyutama attached to it. Flashfire sighed and rubbed his temples. “I apologize, the man gets caught up with his work a bit too much at times.”

The chieftain laughed. “It’s okay, I know the feeling. Why, when I was a young lad, I was the village’s chief hunter and was constantly devising new ways of catching food. Some ideas worked, some didn’t.”

“So, what’s with the sea god thing?” the Doctor remarked. “Gotta ask. Been here once before, and as far as I remember you lot never prayed to any ‘Dialos’. Fact is, I’ve never even heard of this Dialos. I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demigods and would-be gods; out of all that, out of that whole pantheon I’ve never even seen or heard of this guy until today.”

“Smart money’s on the would-be god…” Spada muttered to Flashfire, who only nodded.

“Well,” Flashfire commented in return. “I’d be a fool to take that bet. Several kinds of fool really. But back to the Doctor’s original question, how’d this all start anyways?” he remarked, turning back to the village chieftain. “I mean, it’s not like you just woke up one day and found that your water was poisoned and started praying to some new god who just conveniently showed up out of nowhere?” he drawled.

The chieftain's expression said it all, and Flashfire could only facepalm before muttering: “Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure...” to himself. “There’s a famous saying, and that’s: “There’s a sucker born every minute.” To be frank sir, you are the sucker in this situation.” Flashfire remarked, and the chieftain seemed to think this over for a few minutes, before his eyes widened.

“...No, no it can’t be.” the chieftain whispered.

“Fear’s a very powerful motivator in the hands of a con artist. And I think that’s exactly what we’re dealing with here, a simple flim-flam artist,” Flashfire remarked. “Granted, he has a lot of style and showmanship but a con artist nonetheless who’s just using your fear to feed his lazy arse. All the warning signs were there, you just failed to heed them. Stripped, your scans please?”

“Yes, yes…” Stripped remarked. “While I don’t have scans of the water molecules when they weren’t polluted, and I’ll have to go by the theory that all H20 molecules in the universe no matter the planet are the same here, the molecules I got from the water?” he commented, sucking in a breath. “Suffice to say they’re not exactly what you call pretty. Fact is, I compared them to the output of molecules put out by Dark Matter ships and the similarities are striking. Frightening even. There’s a Moraimarz out in those waters somewhere, and I know it. I’d stake my reputation on it.”

“If what you’re saying is true, and we’ve all been had,” the chieftain spoke up, gesturing to his villagers and some alarmingly low caches of fish. “How do we stop this so-called god, unmask him in front of my people who I’m afraid are far more gullible than I am? You must understand, my reputation is on the line here, I was the first to believe in this guy and so they followed. Flashfire, Stripped, for all your wisdom, how can you help us?”

For that, neither had an answer.

Night came, and even as Spada continued to feed the villagers with fresh fish instead of the stuff that had been dredged up out of the polluted waters, Stripped and Flashfire sat on a hillside observing the village trying to come up with a solution to everyone’s woes.

“Well, this is a predicament really, isn’t it?” Stripped remarked, as he leaned on the doorway of a small stone hut. “Obviously, we can’t just go up and blast the Moraimarz to pieces. Okay, we could, but if the Doctor’s right and I have no reason to doubt his credulity we’d have to take in the worry that the Moraimarz could assume its mecha form. And as there’s not enough Voyagers to form a mecha and thanks to the cloud cover we can’t send up a signal to the Armor for backup.”

“Well, that’s the thing about the Moraimarz,” Flashfire remarked. “I’d assume like our Megazords it’d have to have someone inside it for the Moraimarz to assume a mecha form. So, if we could draw Goneshi -as really, who else could it be?- away from his ship then you could go and take the Swordfish Voyager and blast the Moraimarz to pieces with depth charges, torpedos or whatever you would wish to use,” he continued, rubbing his temples. “But there’s our second problem, isn’t there? The chieftain. If we did this, we’d just ruin his reputation amongst his villagers.”

“Bah, who cares?” Stripped remarked. “In my honest to Faust opinion, If we had to earn our age by thinking for ourselves at least once a year, only a handful of people would reach adulthood. I thought that about our planet, seems to hold true for the rest of the universe as well eh? They, and by that I mean those damn villagers, learn to need to think for themselves instead of just following the whims of whoever comes their way. They’ve fallen for one false god before, who’s to say they won’t again? Look, I get that they need a village leader to guide them through the hard times, but treating him like a god? Mite foolish if you ask me. Of course, let’s talk about the real problem here, and that’s namely you.” Stripped remarked, turning to look at Flashfire.

“...Okay, how can I be the real problem?” Flashfire replied eyes narrowed.

“You’ve been put under a lot of pressure lately. Between this bout of foolishness, the deathworm and leading a militia of freedom fighters? Surprised you haven’t cracked like an egg,” Stripped remarked. “You know, I could relieve some of the pressure if you want…?”

“If you’re talking about rutting me hate to say it but I view you as just a friend man,” Flashfire remarked. “Try Jabari though, pretty sure he’s gay given he opted to be the Pink Ranger,” the unicorn deadpanned, and Stripped burst out laughing.

“Well, dunno why your mind automatically gravitated to me rutting you, that’s something for the ship’s consular not me, but what I was talking about was taking over as leader of the Paladins, if only for a little bit,”

“You?” Flashfire laughed. “You’d be too stuck up in your lab to lead a militia force, you’d be thinking over plans for days before even launching an attack on Dark Matter!” he scoffed and Stripped burst out laughing in return.

“And here I thought you were too tightly wound to even have a sense of humor. But you’re right, too thinky to actually be much of a leader and concoct battle plans on the fly if need be. We’d need someone with the right amount of brains, but someone who’s still crazy and determined enough to do something stupid if need be. But that doesn’t detract from my point,” Stripped remarked. “You’re under way too much pressure, far more than any pony should be put under. Everyone’s just looking to you for answers half the time, and I’m just afraid there’ll come a time when you won’t have any.”

“...And you’re probably absolutely right as always,” Flashfire muttered, wringing his hair in frustration. “You’re right, everyone’s constantly looking towards me for an answer and merde, one day I probably will crack like an egg under all of it. I’m supposed to be the calm, cool, collected leader of the Paladins, not this guy who’s possibly tipping towards the edge of insanity. Barely get a chance to relax, and be myself. No, I always have to be on call, 24 hours a day. Don’t know how Flurry manages it, don’t know how Stardust manages it but they pull it off and they’ve got even bigger responsibilities than I do!”

“Like I said, that’s where the shadow leader comes in,” Stripped replied. “Now, I don’t mean me, but find someone you can trust explicitly and delve off some of your duties to them. A Number One, if you will. You’re Flurry’s Number One, who’s to say you can’t have one of your own?”

“I’ll… I’ll think on it,” Flashfire admitted. “But for now, we have a problem to solve. How can we get old fishface far enough away from his ship for you to go in and blow it out of the water?” he asked, before snapping his fingers in remembrance of an earlier portion of the conversation. “False gods, that’s it!”

“...Okay, I’m a genius, and even I admit I’m not following you.” Stripped remarked.

“Think about it, if this guy wants to keep up appearances as a god, how would he react if these villagers got themselves someone new to worship? Like, say, a hero from beyond the stars…?” Flashfire said, pressing a button on his belt that ejected a Kyutama. One yellow in color, with a crown on it, Flashfire idly tossing it up in the air.

“Okay, I like the way you’re thinking, but how are you going to get the villagers to follow you? They believe Dialos is a god, their true god. Their savior even!”

“Just leave that to me, I just have to expose Dialos for the charade he is, and the whole thing should come crumblin’ down.”

“Veleens,” Flashfire sneered in a mocking tone, wearing a crown atop his head and red robes around his body. He grabbed a large piece of fish off of a nearby table and ripped it in half, placing the two halves on either side of his muzzle. “You all act the same—” his accent was forced, thick, and brought immense shame to everyone of the nationality tenfold— “always so predictable and filthy in the ways you act. You destroy, loot, pillage, and track dirt across the carpets you spend thousands of hours just to make!” He threw the fish to the side and flopped onto his back. “My, this is ever so lush! Did you make it with the hide of your wife’s boyfriend?”

A deafening silence befell the village, with some of the onlookers blinking and at least one cough shattering it all for a brief moment. Flashfire felt his mind race. Clearly desperate times call for desperate measures. He bolted upright and looked around, his eyes eventually landing on a solid gold idol of the one he hated the most. With a forced, exaggerate trot, he approached it and glanced down at it. A smirk etched itself onto his face as he turned around.

The onlookers gasped. Some proceeded to faint. One of them vomited. At least two children cried. The elderly fled, leaving clouds of dust in their wake. The chieftain looked on, with this unreadable expression on his face. “Flashfire, I hope you know what you’re doing…” he thought.

“I love the relief one feels after a long day of work.”

“You’re pissing on the idol of Lord Dialos,” an onlooker said.

“It’s the Equestrian way,” Flashfire remarked before thinking to himself: “Come on Stripped, better hurry on up here and find Goneshi’s ship, this is about the most vulgar five minutes of my life I’ve ever spent, and I’m about to die of embarrassment here!”

Far below the coastline, Stripped inside the Swordfish Voyager was scanning the waters for anything that even resembled a Moraimarz, until finally his ship’s sensors pinged wildly and the unicorn smirked before firing a set of twin torpedos at the massive ship just as he saw a figure swim away from it.

Above, Lord Dialos had made his appearance, humpbacked creature form and all. “You petulant fool!” His voice tore through the air, sending many of those that looked on in awe flying back.

Not Flashfire though. He stood proudly, a comically large smile on his face. He adjusted his crown and cleared his throat. “That’s God-King Petulant Fool to you, oh-glorious false one!” He walked up to Dialos, thanking the stars for the many hours he’d done practicing theatre. “Bow before the one-true false one!”

Dialos furrowed his brow. “You dare call me a false god!?” he roared. “You shall die like the rest who have called me a false-false god!”

Flashfire sidestepped out the way of Dialos’ false flipper, brushing off any dust that had landed on it from the false one’s destructive attack. “No!” he proudly proclaimed once his cloak as pristine as his toothy grin. “I am the true-false one and you’re the false-false one!”

“Impossible!” Dialos barked. “I’m the true-false one and you’re the false-false one!”

A sudden sensation of god-like stupidity overcame ‘Dialos’ as Flashfire smirked and raised his Kyuchanger and placed a sea-blue Kyutama in it. Firing a stream of water from his weapon, Flashfire aimed the stream at ‘Dialos’. From his hiding place in on of the village huts, the Doctor now noted the Corona Borealis Kyutama had been swapped out for one depicting a river, probably that of Eridanus.

“...Did Stripped really make a Kyutama for every one of the 88 modern constellations?” the Doctor whispered to Spada, who only shrugged.

“He’s a scientist, even they get bored sometimes.” Spada shrugged, before he grimaced upon seeing Goneshi’s true form. That giant monster he first appeared as? Just a small little model atop his head, which was covered in some dripping pink goo that partially obscured his face. The rest of the creature’s body was covered in portholes, all sorts of tubing and the feet were two flippers, making him resemble a diver just as the Doctor had described. “...Mio Dio, there’s ugly and then there’s that.”

“You're… You're no God!” Goneshi exclaimed in shock, desperately trying to keep up the rapidly failing ruse. “Veleens, seize this false idol!”

But nobody was having any of it. “You're right,” Flashfire remarked as he threw off his robes and crown and resumed his normal tone. “And neither are you. Never been a fan of gods anyhow. Right raging pain in the ass. As for who I am, so glad you asked. Star Change!”

“The Beast Star, Cerberus Seagreen!”
“The Trick-Star, Libra Gold!”
“The Shinobi Star, Chameleon Green!”

“You know, for a god you made a pretty poor one. They're supposed to be subtle, moving in mysterious ways. Quite the contrary with you. You I found obvious, and moreover ostentatious and vulgar. Now…” Flashfire said, well aware of the irony behind his statement as he drew his Astral Blade. “Time to test your luck!”

Goneshi pulled out a trident and swung it with the blow being blocked and Flashfire kicking the Magistrate in the stomach before leaping away as from out of the mists Spada struck with a few quick thrusts of his rapier. The piercing strikes landed, but Goneshi was quick to retaliate by catching the sword in the trident by letting it pass through a gap and twisting it.

Spada simply kicked him in the stomach. Goneshi staggered back, only for Stripped Gear to leap out of the waters clad in his Ranger suit with a shortsword in hand and slash him across the back.

“The Sword Star, Dorado Yellow! Four Stars shining in the Heavens, Space Squadron Kyuranger!” he cried. “Surprise! Your little Moraimarz, pumping out the pollutants and sucking this planet dry of its energy? Now just a scrap pile.”

“Oh, really?” Goneshi pounded his chest with his hand before driving his trident tines across the ground towards Stripped, lightning following with it. “Well, soon, you’ll be joining it!”

Spada jumped in, and used the Scutum Kyutama to create an energy shield to block the lightning. Flashfire met the swung trident with his blade, turning back to look at the villagers, bolts of electricity spitting off across the ends of his blade as the trident continued to strike it.

“Not to point any fingers, but this is a false god. If anything, it’s another one of Don Armage’s monsters,” Flashfire said to the villagers as he continued to fend off the lightning strikes. “Now, if that completely throws your beliefs and religions on its’ head, then I’m sorry. But as a Kyuranger, I’m just doing my job in keeping the universe safe. And that means I have to slay your heretic,” He bashed the hilt of his blade into the monster’s face, causing it to tumble backwards. “You’re not upset about that, are you? Listen, I should know a thing or two about flim-flam artists or ponies with a flare for showmanship, my whole family lineage consists of them. Stage magicians really, but the principle is the same. Wow you with a bit of dazzle, and maybe take you for all you’re worth. That’s what Goneshi was doing here, polluting your waters, and taking whatever fish you had left for himself.”

“I’m no fake! I’m as real as you or him!” Goneshi gestured to Spada, spitting a miniature spark out at his chest, only for Spada to reveal he was just an clone conjured up by the Gemini Kyutama. “And trust me, this pain you’re about to feel is real too…” He twirled the trident around and slammed it into the ground, sending a web of lightning across the ground.

Suddenly, a flurry of rapier strikes hit Goneshi, the real Spada leaping out of the mists before roundhouse kicking the Magistrate in the face. “Non oggi, idiota!” Spada exclaimed.

“Look, don’t blame your chieftain for falling for any of this,” Flashfire said, as he fired several energy blasts from his horn at Goneshi before striking him with a Regulus Impact. “He’s as fallible as any of the rest of us here, he can make mistakes. If anything you should be blaming this guy. He’s the real trouble-maker here. He works for Don Armage, the Emperor of Dark Matter. Do you wanna worship someone who works for an evil emperor?”

He smirked under his helmet when the villagers all pointed their bows at the monster.

“There you go. Now, everyone’s got some common sense around here,” He said to himself. “Now, let him have it, everyone!”

Flashfire leaped up in the air as the Monoceros Drill replaced his left arm while his team aimed their Kyuchangers at him.

“All-Star Crash!” Stripped shouted, as he, along with the Doctor and Spada fired three energy beams at Goneshi making him stagger backwards towards the seas before Flashfire in a blur of energy shoved the Monoceros Drill right through Goneshi’s chest, piercing a massive hole in it before kicking him off the cliff.

“Looks like I’m sunk! But soon, rangers, you will be too!” Goneshi roared before he fell into the sea causing a massive plume of it to erupt as he landed in the waters.

“Yeah yeah, tell it to someone who cares. But I’ve got a message for your boss. We will take the universe back!” Flashfire shouted as Goneshi went up in an explosion.

Later, the village chieftain met up with the crew of the Shining Armor as it hovered overhead.

“I’m… I’m so sorry we had to drag you into our mess, we should have seen Goneshi for what he was sooner,” the chieftain apologized, bowing his head in shame. “It seems, even this old shark can be fooled just like the rest…”

Flashfire laid a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, like I said the man had a lot of showmanship and he preyed upon you at your most desperate hour. Hell, even I admit I probably would have been fooled. He was that good.”

“I… I just wish there was one small thing we could do to repay you.” the chieftain murmured and Flashfire looked thoughtful.

“Well, you’re not the only ones under Don Armage’s heel. How’d you like to help save the universe?”

The chieftain smiled. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.” he said as behind him, various squid-like fightercraft rose up from behind his village.

Author's Notes:

Okay, first off, huge thanks to Shadowmane for the fight scene, and another thank you to Vertigo for dragging himself out of retirement just for the moment of Flashfire going completely over the top in terms of acting like he did.

Now, should point out this series will be continuity heavy, with each chapter building off a previous one. But like Silver-Quill says...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaNEoUA_u_o

So... Yeah. Anyways, comments, thoughts, speculation, and critique are always welcomed.