Another day passes

Another moon sinks into the distance as the sun rises to brighten everyone’s day.

Well, except for you.

You didn’t exactly live in the happy-go-lucky land of Equestria. No, you lived in a dimension that was adjacent to it through unknown means, the dimension of chaos.

You were no ordinary colt. You were Anon, the cross-dimensional human turned pony and the son of the spirit of chaos himself, Discord.

You wake up on your enchanted bed, it’s warmth as comforting as a hug, and make your way to your dresser with a tired yawn. “Ugh, I can’t believe I’m up. Dammit Rainbow, your training sucks sometimes, I swear. But…” You flex your legs a little bit and do a little stretch. “I gotta admit, I do feel better.”

Months has passed since the exodus of Chrysalis from your basement. Without her, your life began to become more streamlined and less chaotic as your friendship with her wavered from the minds of those who knew.

You look upon your dresser. On it was a myriad of photos of treasured memories. Once before you had wondered how certain photos had appeared without any apparent camera being about, but sometime after Chrysalis had run off, more photos had begun to appear. It made you realize that the dresser too was enchanted, producing photos from your stronger memories. And although not all the photos you had were natural, there were quite a few that came from such magic.

You looked upon the photos that you treasured most, and recalled some of the memories from them. The family photo, taken from your earlier days of Equestria, those were some times. You and Diamond, cuddling together, you had really grown to love her. Of course, you had to watch that libido of yours at times, it was a little wild. You, Lyra, and Bonbon, smiling for a photo.

There was one of you and Daring Do. You remembered that adventure, sad you never got to keep lolizatl, it would have made a cute pet to give to Diamond. Another photo, this one of you and the gang from the other dimension, obviously formed from an especially strong memory. You hoped Mr.Rich had found his family, and that Celestia had kept the world from being frozen from the Windigos.

Another photo, not one you really wanted to remember. This one? It was a photo taken by Spike. It was you next to a pony named Stygian. A pony who was formerly the Pony of Shadows and one you had nearly blasted into dust on the hunch it was just an evil being. When Twilight had saw you were actually killing him, she managed to pull you away from your attack and save the weakened Stygian from his shadowy machinations. Lucky for you, ponies were of a forgiving sort. And they did understand that you were going off Starswirl’s earlier suspicions of Stygian being straight out evil. Truly a set of circumstances you just wanted to forget, but kept a photo of just in case.

And here, a photo taken of you, Starlight, and Trixie. How the hell did this happen? You ask yourself this sometimes. Trixie had taken your suggestion and taken her tour to Starlight’s town. And according to Starlight, Trixie’s curiousness of Starlight’s magic and the strange “item” she carried around led to the both of them befriending one another through their similarities...Which mostly meant their time as outcasts. Still, from what you’ve seen of their friendship, it seems to be true enough. But man, Trixie is quite a trip now that she’s become a member of the town, and her smugness seems to have gone back to normal too.

Oh, you liked this photo. Forged from the memory of you and Tempest after the Storm King’s defeat. Although it seemed your memory may have been a little skewed as it had you and her posing with very happy and warm smiles. You know THAT never happened, but it must have been such a strong thought that it formed as a photo anyway.

And here is one of you, Big Mac, Discord, and Spike as your O&O selves. Ogres and Oubliettes, you still can’t fucking believe that’s what Spike meant by guys night. And as you look at the photo, you could still feel how you weren’t as in to it as they were. Sure, they may have been due to a critical miss with you cutting some rope and instead lodging your battle axe into your skull, but that was neither here nor there. Yep, Spike as the wizard, Garbunkle. Big Mac as the unicorn knight, Sir Biggum, Discord as the archer, Captain Wuzz. And you as Conan the Barbarian, with your big ass axe and viking helmet. Too bad Discord had to also give you the business about using a human pop culture reference for your character. But dammit, you didn’t care, it was just a damn game. Not like he could talk anyway, he wanted to bail too at the start, not your fault he got into it. But, you had to admit, Seeing him have more friends was warming to the heart.

And then there was…

“Mnnn…” You looked at the next photo with a somber look. You and Chrysalis, yelling at each other in an adorable fashion. This was so long ago. You put the photo face down with a sigh, you had moved on with your life since then, and remembering the old times only made you feel miserable. Still, you kept her car in perfect condition, for the just in case.

That was the past, and you only had the future to look forward to. You had friends who wanted to be there for you, and vice versa. Those were the ones you had to focus on now.

You opened your dresser as you recalled one more thing in your mind. Discord, the guy who made it all happen. Your friend, your father, and a true blue asshole, and you loved that about him. Everyday, every goddamn day, he somehow made it both exciting and scary at the same time. But most importantly, it was always interesting. You don’t know what’d you do without him. Discord, he was there for you when you needed him the most, and under that chaotic facade, he really cared. You could see how Fluttershy was able to see his good side when everyone else saw him as just an asshole.

Ahh, but the time to reminiscence was over, for today was going to be a great day! Due to you and Discord becoming closer to Spike and Big Mac, Spike had the brilliant idea of turning a morning where you all were free into a day of team bowling. Heh, you had to chuckle to yourself as you pull your bowling shirt from your dresser and put it on, it was finally happening, and with Big Mac and Discord along, you were sure you’d be able to crush any team that dared challenge the lot of you. God, it had been so long since he originally asked, and to flake out now would be pretty assholish.

Plus, for the last few weeks, you had been training with Rainbow Dash to improve your body as per Mr.Rich’s request. And tomorrow was your “final exam” so to speak, with today being your resting day. So yeah, why not test your newfound skills in crushing some other bowling team in the art of...erm….bowling. Spike had mentioned Big Mac had lined up the perfect team for you all to face, and you were raring to go.

You put on a blue bowling shirt with a black collar and the words “The Guild” on the back of it. It was the name Spike had decided to name the team after winning a die roll between the four of you. You were fine with it. A little TOO nerdy for your taste. But hey, a dice roll is a dice roll.

After putting on the shirt, you looked upon the family photo and smiled at Fluttershy. “I’m gonna make you proud tomorrow, I promise.” Then you look over to Diamond’s and flex your leg “And once you get a load of me, you’re gonna have to ask your dad how you suddenly became so wet, ohhhh yeah.” You were pretty pumped for today,tomorrow, and whatever else the future would bring.

You then look over to your window. Hell, you felt so great that you decided to greet the overgrown meatball… And his newest friend. So you smirked, pulled the line to raise the blinds, and got ready to give out a great big “GOOD MORNING, X-CAPTAIN!”

The large beholder like mutant changeling, with his tentacles full of holes, hovered in his usual spot. Yes, as always, he was there waiting behind the window for his opportunity to barge inside and feast upon your flesh. But this time he seemed rather annoyed. Actually, it was a rather odd and new sight to see from him for once as he did his best to focus on a rather small book he was reading.

He slowly shifted his single eye to you and groaned “What’s so special about the morning? You can’t even tell it’s morning.”

Ok then… “Er, uhhh…” You were speechless, you had expected the usual routine of closing the blinds on him. But he was acting rather unusual. “What’s with the book?”

“Oh this?” He holds the book up to you, it seemed to be a book of old legends. “Something that floated by. But you must be wondering why I lack the desire to enact my perfect plan of destroying you, the queen, and everything else really.”

It was odd hearing him so calm, he sounded almost like his old self. “I-I guess. I mean, are you finally off of that and wanting to become good?”

The X-Captain scoffed at your words “Haha…no. Your destruction will come soon enough. Right now, I’m trying to take my focus away from myself. You know…” He suddenly looks at you with a flaring red eye “BECAUSE THE WRETCHED BEING YOU STUCK TO MY BACKSIDE WON’T STOP WHINING ABOUT HOW HE LOST! HOW HE’S STUCK ON MY BACKSIDE! AND HOW HE HAS THESE HORRIBLE PLANS OF JUST WANTING TO CONQUER THE WORLD! WHO WANTS TO CONQUER IT WHEN YOU CAN DESTROY EVVVVERRRYYYTHING! YOU’LL RUE THE DAY YOU DID THIS TO ME, ANON! I WILL DESTROY YOU, FIND A WAY TO REVIVE YOU, AND THEN DESTROY YOU ONCE MORE! I SWEAR IT! EVEN WHEN HE ISN’T SCREECHING! I CAN STILL HEAR HIS STUPID STUPID THOUGHTS! REEEEEEEE!”

Ahh, there we go. Classic X-Captain.

The being he was talking about was the Storm King. After you and Discord had fun with his head, you had decided to stick him in a place most befitting of his personality...The X-Captain’s metaphorical ass.

The Storm King…

This guy, under his smarmy business like demeanor laid the black heart of a brutal tyrant. He was willing to kill,conquer, and destroy to get what he wants. He was even willing to blast Fluttershy into nothingness without a second thought. They way he brutalized you, the way he treated your friends, his malicious nature cruel enough to blast Canterlot into dust just because he couldn’t have his epic final battle. You felt death was too good for him, and you could never let the princesses know he was still alive either. His evil nature awoke some of your own sleeping human nature when it came to punishment and vengeance. He couldn’t get away with what he had done, and so you felt this was a proper punishment; a punishment even Tartarus couldn’t provide. Sure, you could be malicious and put him through eternal pain. But you felt being stuck with the ever screeching kidney stone may be an even worse punishment than that.

You smirk at the X-Captain and swirl your hoof about “Alright, alright. Turn around and I’ll have a chat with him, I’ll see if I can calm him down.”

“YOU’LL REMOVE HIM, OR ELSE!” The X-Captain slams his tentacles onto the window and slithers them about in rage.

You just shrug “I mean, I could...But I won’t. So it’s either this or you deal with him yourself.”

“ANON! I SWEAR! YOU WILL DO IT OR I’LL MAKE THINGS WORSE FOR YOU! THE IMBECILE WON’T EVEN CALM DOWN ABOUT MY NEWLY ACQUIRED ABILITY TO PRODUCE FECAL MATTER! WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT?! I ONLY GO ABOUT SIX TIMES A DAY! IT RELIEVES ME OF SOME OF THE STRESS OF AWAITING THE DAY OF YOUR DESTRUCTION!” The X-Captain continues to screech without rest.

Lordy, you didn’t realize it was that bad….good, the fucker deserves it. “Well, that ability to relieve yourself came from me. So, you kinda owe me one. So again, either I talk to him or I’m just going to go.”

The X-Captain goes silent for a moment and just gives you a hard stare. Then,with an annoyed grunt, he slowly spins around to reveal the ever deformed head of the Storm King on his back side. His monkey hairs thinned and ghostly white, and his skin grafted with the mutated chitin of the X-Captain’s spherical body. He looked like a wreck, but he was still capable of coherent thought despite his homely form. He looked pretty disheveled at the moment, like he barely slept.

“Yo, Stormy, what’s up?!” You say to him with a cheerful smile “Not getting along with your new friend?”

“Ugh...guh? YOU!” The Storm King suddenly becomes alert as he darts his eyes towards you “You little pipsqueak! Finally! You’re going to undo this spell or you’re gonna suffer real bad. Trust me kid, I know people.” He was putting on a sudden tough front.

Welp, at least he and the X-Captain have a lot in common when it comes to threatening you. “That’s a lot of shit you're spouting there, Stormy. Something I’ve heard you’ve been doing a lot of these days.”

The Storm King’s right eye twitched in anger as he bared his crooked teeth for a moment. Oh yeah, he was super pissed off. But he kept his cool, it was obvious he had been thinking of something to say to you for quite some time. “Kid, it is the worst experience in my life, every time. Look, I get it, you’re still upset about the whole “invasion” thing. I get that, but don’t you think your princesses would get a little testy to know you’ve enacted cruel and REALLY unusual punishment instead of sending me to...Oh, I dunno...Tartarus or something? Last I checked, they kind of frown at this sort of treatment. So, come on, you’ve had your fun. So at least send me there, because you know they’ll find out eventually. And what then? Huh?”

This fucking guy. You wondered how long he was prepping that pathetic attempt to persuade you. You already let the princesses rip you away from a friend. Sure, said friend had a ton of crimes on her back that you couldn’t just make go away, but still. And this guy? He was no friend, and you weren’t going to let the princesses even realize what you’ve done this time. He deserves this. If he had won, you don’t know what you would have done had you survived his attack on Canterlot. And if you didn’t survive, then you were sure whatever Discord would have in mind would be a million times worse. Fuck the princesses mercy, and fuck this guy.

“I don’t care. So deal with it, because the only reprieve you’re gonna get from now on is trying to get along with your new friend you’re stuck with.” You tell this to him with a smile, but your eyes were filled with hatred for him.

“GRRR..Guh...mmnn” The Storm King nearly loses it. But he calms himself again and tries to appeal to your better nature. “C’mon, kid. All this guy talks about is about destroying you. And his screaming? There are days I can’t even sleep! Have a heart, kid. Don’t you think I’ve had enough? I don’t even have a body of my own anymore. C’mon, cut a deal with me. Anything you want? It’s yours, just get me out of here!” He was really scraping the bottom of the barrel here.

“Let me tell you something. You threatened my friends, my home, and my family. I don’t give a DAMN about what the princesses think. I don’t give a fuck how bad your suffering is. This is your new home now, and you’re going to deal with it. And don’t even try to tell me you can better yourself either. Sorry, I don’t care if you can or can’t. You fucked up, and now you gotta deal with it. Or maybe I should put it in a way you can understand.” You look at him with a deathly stare as you put on your horn. Maybe this was a waste of a charge, but you really wanted to send a message to him. Using your magic, you turn temporarily turn your room into a gigantic fireworks display. And donning a tophat and cane, you point to a gigantic elaborate billboard that says “Mercy for sale!”.

You give him a sneaky salesman smirk as you adjust your tophat “See that?”

“Yeah!” The Storm King, being desperate for an out, answers as predictably as you thought he would “How much?”

“Ooooohhhh!” You say with false pained strain in your voice “All out! All sales are final too! No refunds! And that’s the last I’ll ever be sellin’” You then rest your legs on your cane as you rest your head on your legs, giving the Storm King an arrogant smirk “So, get it now?” You say as everything begins to revert back to once it was.

The Storm King finally releases his pent up rage, he could no longer contain himself. “YOU LITTLE! I SWEAR! I WILL DESTROY YOU! YOUR FAMILY! EVERYTHING! YOU THINK THIS IS OVER?! OH NO! IT’S ONLY BEGUN! AND..no...NO! HAHA! I WON’T DESTROY YOU! I’LL MAKE SURE YOU SUFFER SO MUCH MORE THAN I HAVE! OH YEAH! PEOPLE ARE GONNA PAY TO SEE WHAT I’VE GOT LINED UP FOR YOU! YOU HEAR ME!?”

You then hear the X-Captain speak “FINALLY! HE FINALLY GETS IT! TOOK HIM LONG ENOUGH!”

You just shrug as you prepare to close the blinds “Ok then, you do that. Yo, X-Captain, you good now?”

“YES!” The X-Captain yells as he quickly turns around to thank you while the Storm King whines that he wasn’t done screaming his revenge “WE’RE FINALLY THINKING AT THE SAME LEVEL! FINALLY! I mean, that won’t mean I’ll give you any mercy! BUT AT LEAST I DON’T HAVE TO SUFFER ANYMORE! THIS CALLS FOR A VICTORY POOP!”

You just nod to him and chuckle “You do that, have fun!”

You close the blinds as you hear the Storm King beg for his sanity.

You then look to the floor door as you adjust your mane “Well, that was fun. I hope Discord is ready, because we got a game to win.”

This was a sort of Epilogue for the Storm King. An idea I used from a user named "Rainbow Kirby". However, given how the movie chapters went. I felt this was something Anon would do in his current state.

You made your way down to the living room as you called your faux father’s name. “Discord! Yo, Discord! You ready yet?”

Suddenly, you hear the rumbling of some mysterious large object coming towards you. Another prank? Ha! You were ready this time! You stay alert and look all along the walls, floor, and ceiling for whatever was coming at you. As the sound grew louder, you see a giant bowling ball phase through the wall where the front door was. You dodge it easily, then look back at it with a cocky grin. “HA! Nice try, Discord! But my senses are much sharper now. There’s no way you’re gonna hit MEEEAGGHH!” You are cut short by the coming of a second ball as it rolls over you and brings you along with it until it phases through another wall, leaving you flat on it's wallpaper'd exterior. You slowly slide down and fall on your head as you hear the words “I made the spare!”

“HAHA! Now that’s what I call a practice session!” Discord poofs in with a flash as he looks upon you like an accomplished work of art. “Anon! My dear, Anon! We are sure to win today! Oh yes, whoever dared to challenge us will be in for a rude awakening!” He says as he rubs his talons and paw digits together.

God-Fucking-Dammit…

“N-ngh, t-the hell?!” You slowly rise up and look at Discord with scrunched up annoyance “Discord! You couldn’t have used actual pins or something?! Why me?! Why?!”

Discord shrugged “Why not? You were there, I was over here, and it was the perfect distance in trying out my bowling arts since I apparently won’t be allowed to use magic. What, was it not good enough?”

You sigh, why do you even bother trying to tell him that sometimes he’s too much of an ass. “Did you have to keep throwing balls until you fucking hit me? That really hurt, you know? You don’t think that maybe sometimes you should tone it down a tad?” You say as you brush yourself off.

“What?” Discord looked confused, then pulled out a rulebook of some sorts and thumbed through it “Anon, don’t I get a second chance at rolling the ball if I fail to make the strike? I only threw two balls.” He then sighs and shakes his head with a sigh “There you go again, exaggerating the circumstances.”

“Christ, Discord. If you’re going to pull from a fucking rulebook then you should know that you need to use at least ten pi-.....oh come on now.” You looked around to see nine more versions of you looking around in curious fashion. “Really?”

Discord conjures a normal sized bowling ball and prepares to roll. He eyes you closely as the center front pin as he preps himself “Anon, I never do anything without my magic. Practice for today’s game is important.”

“So, you’re just gonna use me like that, huh?”

“Just for this last roll” Discord says as he pulls the ball back, targeting you with a single eye.

“That’s what I thought...GET HIM!” You point forward like a commander as your clones spring to action and tackle Discord down.

“HEY! WHAT IS THIS?! MUTINY! MUTINY I SAY!” Discord says as he gets tackled down.

Woah, that actually worked?! “Ha! How does it feel to have a taste of your own medicine?”

Discord immediately snaps his talons to make the clones vanish from his person. He slowly stands up and brushes himself off as he looks at you with annoyance. “Now that’s just bad form, Anon. Turning my own magic against me like that? Just terrible. How did you even manage that?”

“I’ve been learning. I’m your protege, remember? You created clones of me using chaos magic, so of course they were going to have some semblance of consciousness. It’s kind of like when you create clones of yourself, they all have this slight variance in personality and consciousness.” You then knock on your head with a smirk “See? I pay attention”

“Indeed…” Discord says in a low voice as he rubs his beard. He was feeling pride build up within him, but he didn’t feel celebratory in an extravagant sense. Rather, he walked up to you and gave you a gentle pat as he looked upon you with a fatherly smile “Good job, Anon. You’re really coming along nicely when it comes to chaos.”

“Well, I learned from the best. Plus, it’s not like my life has been calm or anything like that. There’s always something crazy going on to learn from. So, you ready to go or what? I don’t think the guys would appreciate us wasting time here.” Heh, you felt pretty good right now. You managed to turn Discord’s magic against him with but a simple realization. You were definitely getting better.

“I suppose. But, there is still one more thing.” Discord pulls out a purple envelope sealed with an emblem representing Twilight’s cutie mark “Another one of these arrived in the mail.”

“Ugh…Another one?” You knew what that was. Twilight, in her infinite dumbness, had the bright idea of having a friendship school. It was still under construction, but it wouldn’t be too long now until it was finally ready. For some reason, she felt you should attend. But fuck that, that was stupid. Even you knew something like friendship can’t be taught at a fucking school, that kind of thing comes naturally. Worst yet, this was the sixth letter she fucking sent.

“Afraid so. So, what will it be? Do you want to use a flamethrower or should we blast it with a giant laser?” Discord asks as he looks at the letter with disdain.

You groan, you really didn’t like the fact that she was trying so damn hard with these letters. “Just toss it, I don’t care. Why can’t she take the hint? I don’t want to go to her stupid school.”

“And I back your decision one hundred percent.” Discord says as he puts the letter in a sandwich and guzzles it down like a drink. “And while I hate to make sense of why Twilight is persistent, it is probably due to the fact that you haven’t made any effort to reply”

“Shouldn’t me not replying send the message?” Like, yeah, what the fuck?

Discord smirks at you and pokes at your forehead “Did you suddenly forget where you are? Since when did our purple princess ever get the hint?”

Dammit…

You swipe Discord’s paw away as you realize your own ignorance. “Alright, alright. I get it, I guess I can have a word with her since we’re gonna be stopping by the castle anyway.”

Discord looks at you with a pouty face “Do you mind if I watch? Pwetty pwease? I want to see her reaction when you tell her 'no'”

“You’re actually asking?”

“Yes, but even if you say no, I’m going to listen in anyway. I’m just taking the fifty fifty chance of actually being wanted for this.” Discord says as he straightens his bowling shirt.

“Discord…” Actually, you could see that saying no to Twilight was going to cause some sort of an upset. But goddammit, it better not, she should be able to accept that you don’t want to go….right? Either way, you’d appreciate it if Discord didn’t nose in on this one. “Maybe another time. This is all friendship related. Twilight is going to be all sensitive about it and I’d rather deal with it on my lonesome.”

“Ugh, really? Come now, Anon. I wouldn’t even say a word, I could just watch” Discord tries to appeal to you any way he can. He was coming to respect your decisions...mostly. But he still wanted to have his way. “What if I gave you unlimited charges for a week?”

OHHHHH GAWD. Now that’s tempting.

But…

“Ugh, now that hurts. I’d love that, but Twilight is still my friend, I really don’t want to make things worse than they are probably going to be. Look, we’re supposed to be going bowling with the guys, right? What if you being there wastes too much time? What then?”

“Right! I forgot that Big Mac has that whole delivery thing to the superior Twilight’s town. Alright, alright. But don’t take too long then, because if you’re the reason we miss out on the game then I’ll be practicing on you for the rest of the day.” Discord says as he holds a pin with a head resembling your own. He then lashes at it with his tongue, knocking it down to the floor.

Cripes…

“Yeah yeah, I get it. Oh, one more thing. Are you sure you couldn’t get Fluttershy to see my final training exam tomorrow? She said she was pretty upset that she had to leave to deal with something with Thorax. And...you know...It can’t be that important.” You really wanted her to be there for tomorrow so you could show her just how great you’ve become recently. But apparently Thorax had been wanting to open the kingdom to visitors, and Fluttershy being the kind one, was asked to show the changelings how to be super extra welcoming on that very fucking day. How could they need help? They all became motherfucking pussies since he took over.

“I tried. Oh, I tried. I even went to the extreme of mentioning that you could meet your end from it. And she did mention that she tried to ask the others to fill in for her, but their all so busy now. You don’t even see Rarity at the boutique much anymore these days. Not that I care, but it does cause Fluttershy to leave her usual spots to go to the big city. And then you know how that goes, her being amongst the public means me being there would spook them too much. Ugh, trust me Anon, even I’m annoyed about this whole changeling business. I was sure we were done with them, but apparently not. But don’t fret, I’ll still be there...You wanted that…” Discord suddenly looks at you, in wanting of your approval of his presence “Right?”

“Ok, c’mon. Don’t get worried that I wouldn’t want you there just because of your little bowling prank. I appreciate it actually. I know how you don’t like to sit around doing nothing, so the fact you’re willing to go through that much for me means a lot.”

“Well that’s good to hear. I mean, who wouldn’t want this hunk of chaos rooting them on for victory? And since I am technically your father, I suppose I should say a word of comfort about tomorrow.” He raises his talon and makes a snap.

Suddenly, you are in an audience full of Discords as Discord himself stands at a podium. He clears his throat and speaks into a microphone to the crowd below him “Hello, I am Discord, Anon’s father. I am proud of my son, and I know he’ll do great tomorrow. He has nothing to fear as his progress in his training has been...somewhat...good? Hmm, that’d be the truth, but let’s lie a little and say he has been doing perfectly. Ahrm, anyway, the point is that he has made phenomenal progress due to his natural abilities and willingness to improve. Qualities that every pony should have if I do say so myself. Of course, all of this wouldn’t be possible without me. So…” Suddenly, he sounds like some kind of rambunctious preacher man. “CANNNN I GET A STAAAAANNNNDINNNGGG OVATION!” He cries as he wiggles his arms up in the air.

All the Discords rise up and cheer, hoot, and dance in honor of the Discord at the podium as you just stare with a raised eyebrow. Goddammit, he just had to do that.

Everything then suddenly returns to normal in a flash as Discord stands there with an arrogant grin.

You just roll your eyes and let out a chuckle. He was such a lovable asshole sometimes. You could read between the lines of his speech, you knew what he actually meant. “Ok buttmunch, you had your fun, let’s just get going, alright?”

“Gladly, I don’t want to use up any of our spare time anyway. I want to talk to Spike a little about our next campaign.”

Ugh...Dammit. “Really? But we just finished one.”

Discord seemed a little offended by that “What? Are you saying you wouldn’t want to start another adventu- Ohhhhhh….” Discord snickered “You’re still upset about that bad roll”

You didn’t want to talk about it “C-can we just go?”

Discord let out another little chuckle “Whatever you say, Conan”

And with a snap of his talons, you both were off.

And in a flash, you both were inside Twilight’s castle, or to be more exact, right inside the cutie mark chamber.

“Oh hey! You’re both here!” You hear Spike say. It seems he had already been waiting and ready for the both of you all morning, not at all surprised by your sudden appearance. “Awesome! I’ve been waiting all morning to show you guys something that’s gonna get you pumped!”

“Woah! Slow down! We just got here” You didn’t even get a chance to look around the area to see who and what was around, and you did notice you were one member short. “Hey, where’s Big Mac?”

“He’s already at the alley.” Spike holds up a bowling bag with a confident smile on his face “As for us, I got us something that’ll show everypony that we mean business.”

“Mean business? Ohhhh!” Discord gets excited and zips over to Spike to look over the bag “Are we going to blow open a tear in reality to send our opponents through with whatever is in that bag?” Discord then stands tall as he shakes his fist in the air “TO SHOW OUR ADVERSARIES THAT THE GUILD IS THE ULTIMATE IN ALL THINGS BOWLING!?”

“Uhhhhh...sort of?” Spike looks a little put off and confused as he places the bag on the cutie map table and takes out a bowling ball made out of emerald that had the name “The Guild” engraved on it with golden letters. It shimmered and shined whenever any light hit it. “I got us all this cool custom bowling ball we can all use. I mean, it kind of shows that we’re going to be the best team there. No…” Spike stands tall and raises his fist along with Discord “IT TOTALLY SHOWS THAT WE’RE THE BEST TEAM EVER! ONE WHICH WILL CRUSH OUR FOES WITH OUR MIGHTY ABILITY TO ROLL A BALL!”

Discord looks over to Spike with a nod and a smirk “Nice way to word it, Garbunkle”

Spike takes a bow “Thank you, Captain Wuzz”

You just put your hoof to your face. “Ok you two, can we not act like nerds when we get there? Please? We’re gonna be in public.”

Spike calls for Discord to lower his head so he could whisper to him “What’s his problem?”

Discord whispers back “He still has a ‘splitting headache’ from our last session”

“Splitting...he-he-HAHAHAHAHA!” Spike loses it and falls over, pointing at Discord with joviality “I get it! Because he got an axe to his head!”

You narrow your eyes towards the both of them. “...That’s not funny, you know…”

Discord shrugs as he gives you a pat “Relax, Anon, it’s not like it killed you. We did agree to give your character a huge increase in defense for all cranial injuries. You’ll be fine! I mean, Conan will be fine.” Discord ends his words with a slight chortle

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up you two. It was just a bad roll, that’s all.” Goddammit, it was really humiliating though.

“Come on, Anon, relax! We’re only messing with you a little bit. You’re one of us, one of the guys!” Spike hops down from the table and walks over to you. He then gives you a thumbs up. “You’re the hero colt! And part of ‘The Guild’. We know it was a bad roll. Everypony gets one sometimes, and it’s pretty funny when it happens, right? Are you saying you wouldn’t laugh at Discord if he got a critical miss at something like, erm, knocking on a door?”

“Hey! I’ll have you know that a critical miss on knocking on a door shouldn’t result in something humiliating, at least when it comes to me.” Discord interjects

“Maybe, but what if it was a cursed door or something? It’d probably react by using it’s entire frame to knock you into a pulp. Like…” Spike smacks his fist into his palm multiple times “...Ironically being knocked on BY the door, that’d be pretty funny.”

Discord being physically smacked by a door? Heh, that made you smirk “Now that would be funny.”

Discord crosses his arms and looks away with a gruff snort “Well, I don’t think so.”

“C’mon, Dad. Don’t KNOCK IT until you try it! Eh? HAHAHA!” You break into laughter, sure it was a dumb pun, but it always was extra funny if it cheesed Discord off. Especially when Spike joined in on your mocking laughter.

“Ugh...Whatever. Don’t you have a princess to talk to about your invitation?” Discord says, unamused by the laughter going on around him.

“Huh?” Spike stops laughing when he realized what Discord meant. “You mean the invitation to Twilight’s Friendship School?” Spike looks to you with curiousness “You’re gonna go? That’s awesome!”

“Err...no” You shake your head “I’d rather not. I just want to let Twilight know that I’m declining her offer, that’s all. She’s here, right?”

Spike seemed kind of disappointed by your answer as he pointed towards the other wings of the castle “I mean, yeah, she’s prepping stuff up for when the school is built and ready for classes. But why aren’t you going, Anon? You’re from another dimension, right? This would be a great way for you to learn how ponies do friendship. And I’m talking all the ins and outs of it. I mean, look at me, I’ve learned all about living with ponies by learning from my pony friends here in Ponyville.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t learn that in a school, right?” You ask him.

“Well...no” Spike replies

“Exactly. I think I’ve learned enough through experience just like you have. And it’s not like friendship is a foreign thing to me. I think I’ll be fine” You tell him

“I guess… I mean, I thought it’d be pretty helpful for you. But I can’t force you to go either.” Spike states. But then he looks back towards the inner wings of the castle and then back at you with concern “But Twilight is probably gonna try to convince you, so just go easy on her, ok? I know you kind of got this chip on your shoulder with her, but she only wants to see you get better, you know?”

..Dammit, Spike. He was looking at you with pleading eyes to be as easy with Twilight as possible. This had to mean that Twilight was probably going to be really annoying when you tell her no. “Ok, ok...I’ll do my best, I promise”

“Thanks dude, we’ll wait for you here. Been meaning to go over a few of my ideas for the next campaign with your dad anyway”

“Ahh! I had been meaning to ask you about that.” Discord said as he sat down at Fluttershy’s chair, eager to hear what Spike had to say. “Do tell me everything.”

“Alright, so…” Was all you heard from Spike talking to Discord as you made your way to the main castle library where Twilight most likely was residing.

When you got there, you could in fact see Twilight looking over a bunch of scrolls as she sang silently to herself. She was obviously full of zeal when it came to this whole school business, it almost made you want to not talk to her at all. But you knew it was better to get this over with sooner rather than later.

“Hey, Twilight, you busy?” You ask as you enter the library.

“Huh? Hmm? Oh! Anon! Hello! Good morning!” Twilight says with happy cheer in her heart “Are you ready for that bowling game you’re going to have? I have to say, Spike has been pretty excited about it for quite some time. He felt pretty bad about not getting to bowl with you before, so seeing him so happy to bowl with ‘The Guild’ makes me happy too. Thank you for having the time for that, by the way, I know school and training with Rainbow Dash has left your schedule pretty tight. ”

“Oh...Yeah, um..You’re welcome.” Dammit Twilight, you didn’t have to act so thankful and happy go lucky. You now felt bad that you might be crushing her good mood. But…

No, you had to talk to her about this. If she was truly a princess and of regal status, then she should be able to fucking understand that you don’t want to go to her school. Besides, she and the other princesses already put you through enough shit, you didn’t need any more of it.

“Anon, are you alright?” Twilight looks to you with concern. She seemed antsy about the fact that you didn’t look as cheerful as she predicted.

“I’m fine, I just came up here to talk to you about your school.”

“OH!” Twilight got super excited now and jumped up, hovered, and floated over to you as she looked to you with a happy and near Pinkie-like grin. “That’s great! I didn’t expect you to personally accept, but I appreciate you coming to tell me all the same! I have to say, Anon. I’m already really excited to have everycreature learning everything they need to know about friendship. But to have you, somecreature from the outside world, learning our ways of friendship makes me fee-”

Ok, that’s enough. You put your hoof up at her to get her to stop right there. “Twilight, I’m actually declining your offer...and er…” What the fuck word was she using? “Everycreature?”

“Oh, it’s a very inclusive word for all the kinds of...Wait.” Twilight has a double take when she realizes what you said beforehand. “You don’t want to go? WHAT?! WHY?!”

Here we go…”Twilight, I appreciate the invitation. But I just don’t feel that your school isn't a good fit for me. I mean, what else do I have to learn about friendship anyway? I reformed Starlight, Trixie...sorta, and Tempest. And then there’s the fact I already have so many friends already, including a marefriend. I think I already mastered the magic of friendship.”

“Anon, while I do agree you have an amazing knack for friendship that many ponies don’t, there’s also a few faults you have that I think could use some improvement. The way you approached befriending Queen Chrysalis was-” And then you cut her off again.

Nope, she has no more right to fucking use that against you. “Twilight…” You look at her with a more serious stare as your voice hardens “Don’t you dare. I already admitted I got obsessive when it came to trying to reform her. But at the end of the day, I still managed to BEFRIEND her. I already learned through experience to be more careful, alright? So don’t do that to me.”

Twilight doesn’t reply for a moment as she ponders on what to say. She could see that you were still sensitive when it came to Chrysalis, and decided to try treading softer ground with you. “I understand. But I still think there’s still a few important things you can learn about friendship. I don’t mean to offend you, but you kind of still have a few ways to go to learn about harmony and love. You can sometimes be very mean, Anon. Mean in a way that only the most of the nastier dragons can be.”

“You mean with Stygian, don’t you?” You ask her

She nods “That, and a few other things. For Stygian...Anon, I understand that I was with Starswirl’s conclusion myself when it came to Stygian being the Pony of Shadows. But you were meaning to destroy him even after the truth of it was revealed, you nearly destroyed him. That’s not the pony way at all.”

You’ve had this conversation with her before. You had a good reason to continue your attempt to destroy Stygian. How could you be so sure that his begging and pleading after his shadow form was destroyed wasn’t just an act or a trick? “We’ve gone over this, I didn’t want to take any risks. You said Starswirl was the best of the best and never wrong, so how could you expect me to stand down?”

Twilight sighed, she knew she was partly to blame due to her fangasming when it came to Starswirl and the original six’s return. “I suppose I shouldn’t have. But he was begging for his life, Anon. We’re not like Sombra or the humans you have told me about from your old world. I don’t blame you for your actions, but I still think there are certain facets of your understanding of friendship that can be improved. You’re the hero colt, Anon. I just want you to have more compassion in the way you handle situations like this. Because it’s not just the way you tried to handle Stygian either. You can be mean to other ponies too. I’ve heard you put zippers on Snips’s and Snail’s mouths a few weeks ago, is that true?”

Ugh...So she knew about that, huh? “Yeah, I guess. They were getting uppity again. They thought since I was getting some training from an element that they deserve training from me. They wanted to battle my ‘Bowser’ form for Celestia’s sake! If they couldn’t handle zippers on their mouths then that’s on them, I’ve told them before to stop with the hero worship.”

“I know Snips and Snails can be a little overbearing sometimes, but that’s no excuse to use that kind of magic on them, especially when it lasted until midnight. Their mothers came to me scared out of their wits, Anon. And the way they panicked when I couldn’t undo your spell? Well... Nopony deserves that. Do you understand?” Twilight looks at you with a near mother like expression of sterness.

Nope, you weren’t having none of this shit. “Twilight, look. You are one of the few who even know my true age. Maybe this body has regressed me some, but I still know that when somepony tells you enough and you don’t listen, then consequences will happen. It’s not like I hurt them or anything either, it was simply a punishment. As I said, I have a handle on friendship, just not in the way a pony would handle things. Besides, why do you need a friendship school anyway? You, of all ponies, should realize friendship is an experience, and not something you can learn in a classroom.”

“I beg to differ on that one, Anon. My school isn’t just about learning friendship. It’s to bring unity to everycreature across the world. And more than that, it’s to give those who have felt shunned and alone a place to feel accepted,validated, and have the ability to forge friendships they never thought they’d be able to have. Everycreature deserves to learn, experience, and spread friendship to everycreature else. My school will make sure nocreature feels left out, no matter what.” Twilight explains.

Wut? “Uhm, ok, that’s all well and good. But friendship isn’t that difficult. Again, given how you used to be, and don’t ask how I know, I got a feeling the school might be a little too much.”

“No worries, I won’t question how you knew how I used to be. But do you remember how Starlight used to be? Tempest? Trixie? Your father? And since I know you know, Moondancer? I mean, I’ll even mention Princess Luna.”

What was she getting at? “Yeah, what about them? I reformed like half the ponies on that list myself.”

Twilight nodded “Right. But you also know about the Cutie Map and how it specifically designates one or two or even all of us to fix a specific friendship problem. And then there’s the fact that there could be many others who have felt hurt and abandoned like those I’ve mentioned. You, Anon, know for a fact that someponies just don’t take things too well and are willing to destroy the world just to get even with it. You can’t be there for all of them, just like I can’t be. But with my school, I can bring them all together and bring harmony to all. That’s my goal, that’s what I want. I know you’re smart, so if you think I’m wrong, I’d like to hear your thoughts on it.”

Uhh…

Hmm…

Shit, you hadn’t thought of that. Equestria did seemed filled with this kind of shit. Twilight, in that regard, was mostly right. You couldn’t reform everyone nor could you be in everyplace at once. And given how Starlight had become evil over just one friend abandoning her...Ugh, fine. “No, I have nothing. I guess that's pretty solid when you put it that way."

Twilight nodded in triumph, and gave you a warm smile “I’m glad you understand.”

You did, but still… “I do, but I still don’t want to go. I guess I can cool my jets a little, but I still think it’s pointless for me to go. So let’s just let bygones be bygones, alright? I respect your school if you respect my decision not to go, alright? Please? I really don’t want to keep this up, I have a bowling game to get to.”

Twilight sighed, she really wanted you to go, but she knew that she really couldn’t force you either. She nods “Alright, that sounds very fair to me. Thank you for understanding, Anon.”

“Yeah, yeah… I guess. Whatever, good luck with the school, ok? And don’t push me, please? I appreciate our friendship, but my life is my life, and I have a good handle on it these days.”

Twilight nods again “I understand, and thank you. Good luck with your bowling game, alright?”

You nod, and calm yourself a bit now that this was over “Thanks, well, seeya Twilight.”

And with that, you made your way back to the cutie map room. Dammit, she had to mention Chrysalis. Whatever, it’s fine, it’s the past. It was time to bowl, time to win, and time to show off your new found skills.

As you made your way back to the Cutie Map room, you couldn’t help but feel a little bad over the conversation you had with Twilight. But this was due to the fact that your friendship with her always gets jumbled up with her princess duty bullshit. Sometimes you wish you were brought in before she got the wings, then you wouldn’t have to deal with any kind of official bullshit when it came to her.

When you met with Discord and Spike once again, Spike couldn’t help but ask the obvious question. “So, uhhh, how’d it go?”

“It went fine, no problems here. So, we all ready?” You ask

Both Discord and Spike were more than ready to go at this point. But Spike still had some reservations on what went on with your and Twilight. “So, like, nothing bad happened? At all?”

You take a long breath, and nod to him once more “nothing happened, Spike. This isn’t like before, Me and Twilight have a better understanding of each other...Mostly. Trust me, if something bad happened, she’d probably be lecturing me right now.”

“Yeah, that makes sense actually. Twilight does tend to do that sometimes when she thinks something went really wrong. Ok then! Let’s get going!” Spike says, his fear of Twilight or you being in a sour mood leaving him with the certainty of nothing going wrong.

The three of you make your trek towards the bowling alley. Discord suddenly becomes curious however, and asks Spike a question. “So, who are we decimating? It can’t be the princesses since Twilight is staying at the castle doing...boring things. And yet I know there has to be a team of four to match our own.” Discord pondered even deeper “Who do we know that could form an even team of four?”

Spike shrugs “Well, I’d tell you if I knew, but Big Mac did all the prep work.”

“He didn’t tell you who we’d be bowling against?” You ask Spike, that seemed a little weird.

“Nope. Big Mac works a lot, remember? It probably slipped his mind or something.” Spike shrugged again, then looked ahead with confidence “It’s not like it matters, right? Whoever we got is gonna get their butt kicked anyway.”

“While I admit that not being able to use my magic does make things a tad more difficult for me, I still must agree.” Discord puts on some sunglasses and holds up a squirtgun as he speaks in a Schwarzenegger voice. “We’re going to terminate them, aughhrhhgree” God, he even did the laugh.

“I’m with you two, I mean, I’ve been training a WHOLE lot. My skills without the horn are as good as any wonderbolt, if my trainer is anything to go by. I gotta hand it to Rainbow Dash, she’s actually pretty good at being an instructor. But that’s probably because Mr.Rich had a hand in paying for some of the gear I got to use. I’m actually excited to see who we’re gonna beat.” You had nothing to worry about. Hell, Big Mac was a fucking farmhorse, so his coordination was going to be second to none. There was no way you all could lose.

“It’s all set then. Heh, now I feel bad for whoever even thought they could tangle with us. I just wanted to win, not embarrass them… Oh well.” Spike shrugged.

Oh yeah, this was gonna be fucking easy.

You all then reach the bowling alley. As it turns out, Big Mac had already paid for the lane you’ll all be using. You were all told to go to lane ten.

And holy shit, when you all got there, you swear you had to be dreaming right now. Because Big Mac was waiting for you all…..With the fucking CMC. And while the others seemed confused as to where the other team was, you could tell by the CMC’s brick red bowling shirts that they WERE the other fucking team. Holy fuck, really? That’s like pigs to the fucking slaughter.

“Heya, Big Mac” Spike is the first to greet Big Mac “Heya, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo.”

The CMC greet Spike with a friendly smile, then you, and even Discord. Of course they would, he was your dad after all. It’d be rude not to greet him in front of you.

“Heya fellas, paid for the lane, we’re just waiting for one more pony and we’ll be ready to play.” Big Mac says as he takes a seat and waits.

But Spike gets confused and looks around “One more Pony? You mean for us? So it’s five versus five or something? Where’s the other team?”

Discord looks at Big Mac with some discontent “Excuse me, Big Mac, But we didn’t agree to a fifth member. There’s nopony else cool enough to hang with the likes of us. And Spike’s right.” Discord takes a look around “Where is the other team?”

“Guys…” You point over to the CMC “THEY ARE the other team. And their the ones waiting on their fourth pony. Holy geez, Big Mac, really? Seriously? I’m all for a slaughter, but you couldn’t have at least gotten us a team that was a little more challenging? We’re going to beat them so bad that their cutie marks are gonna fall off.” You weren't even laughing, you were serious, you didn’t want to make this TOO easy.

“Hey! That ain’t very nice” Applebloom says with a frown

“Wow, Anon, really?” Sweetie Belle looks at you with a mean look “Just because we’re girls doesn’t mean we’re gonna be easy.”

But Scootaloo doesn’t seem to take offense to your words at all. Instead, she steps up to you and gives you a confident look “I hope you can back up your words, Anon. Because I’ve been training a lot harder too! Ever since Rainbow Dash started training you, I’ve been copying your training regimine to make myself even better than I am now. Also, we got a secret weapon, so don’t think you’ve won just yet.”

You return Scootaloo’s confidence with a rather smug grin “Scoots, I never had a doubt in my mind that you’d actually be a challenge. And ok, I guess Applebloom is good too since she’s a farm pony and all. But Sweetie Belle, really? She can’t bowl for beans. Your scores won’t stack up to ours.”

“What?!” Sweetie Belle is taken aback by your words “You think I’m gonna bring my team down?! High and mighty as always, huh?! Well let me tell you that I think I’m a pretty good bowler! And besides, our fourth teammate is REALLY gonna steamroll your whole team! You’ll see!”

“Erm, can we all simmer down? Anon, why do ya gotta be all mean like that anyway?” Applebloom didn’t like your cocky attitude, but she didn’t want any sort of fight to break out either. “Ain’t this supposed to be a friendly competition?”

“C’mon Applebloom, I don’t think I’m being mean. Scoots took my banter just fine. There is nothing wrong with a little pregame bants. Am I right fellas?” You look around to your teammates for support.

“I mean, sorta? But these are the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Anon. I don’t think we should be mean to a bunch of foals.” Spike says. Although he internally felt it’d be an easy win, he felt a little guilty having to crush the CMC like that.

“A BUNCH OF FOALS?!” Steam nearly blasts from Sweetie Belle’s nostrils as she stomps up to Spike so forcibly that he falls on his back “WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! YOU’RE A BABY, FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE! SO DON’T GO THINKING THAT JUST BECAUSE WE’RE FOALS MEAN WE CAN’T BEAT YOU!”

“W-w-whatever y-y-ou s-say! J-just don’t h-h-urt me!” Spike had to cover himself with his arms in fear of being stomped on by Sweetie Belle.

“That’s what I thought!” Sweetie Belle said with a nod as she stepped back to her team with a near militaristic march and stance.

Big Mac just frowned at everyone and raised his hooves and lowered them in a motion to tell everyone to calm down “Now no one get ornery now. We’re all here for a friendly game and that's how it’s all going to play out. So no pregame or post game bants or nothing, got it?”

“Oh, no worries big brother” Applebloom looks to Big Mac with a sweeter innocence, she was probably the only one here out of the CMC who seemed to have just come for a friendly game “I won’t start no trouble”

Discord, who had said nothing at this point, finally chimes in. He sounded and looked bored out of his skull. “And while that’s all very nice, we still have yet to see this fourth team member or even start the game. I thought this was going to be quick. And yet it’s taking longer than starting up a game of O&O. I just want to start, win, groove on the dance floor due to our win, and leave. And I’d like to do that as soon as possible.”

“Discord, ah said no pregame banter, this is a friendly game.” Big Mac reminds him.

Discord shrugs “That wasn’t banter…” Discord then suddenly zaps Applebloom with a bolt of magic.

“GYAAAH!” Applebloom yells, and looks around frantically as if something changed about her “What did he do to me?! What happened?!”

“Discord! What are ya doin?! What did you do that for?!” Big Mac suddenly got up, looking like he wanted to slug Discord for attacking his sister like that.

But Discord just holds a talon up to Big Mac to stop him, looks at him stoically, and says “Hold on, wait a moment, it’s coming”

“EWWWW!” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle cry out as they move away from Applebloom.

“Wha?! What’s wrong?! Why are you girls saying that?” Applebloom starts tapping at her face “I’m not meltin’, am I?!”

“No” Scootaloo puts her hooves over her nose.

“You just really stink!” Sweetie Belle, as well, puts her hooves over her nose.

Discord then points over to the CMC with a bored expression “That’s banter...So, can we start now?”

Big Mac was already getting frustrated as he put his hoof over his forehead and sighed, then pointed over to Applebloom “You mind fixin’ mah sister?”

“Very well…” Discord simply snaps his talons, causing Applebloom’s smell to return to normal.

“Do I smell ok now, girls?” Applebloom asked as she started sniffing herself, it was actually kind of amusing to see herself smell at herself like a dog, but you couldn’t really laugh due to everyone suddenly being so hostile. Why? It really was just simple banter.

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle nod, But Scootaloo looked rather concerned, and like Applebloom, just wanted everyone to get along “Ok, so can we all calm down now, please? This all got all out of hoof pretty badly and everypony is kind of looking at us weird.”

Wut?

You all look around to see nearly the entire bowling alley looking at you with either disgusted, weirded out, or even a few frightened faces. It causes all of you, even Discord, to cough and take your seats without nary another word due to embarrassment.

But then, that still left the fourth member on the CMC’s team. “So...erm..yeah. Where is your fourth member anyway? It’s not Scrappy, is it? I didn’t know he could bowl.”

“He can’t, or maybe he can, ah dunno. But it ain’t him, he’s at home learnin’ everything he needs to know about zap apple jam” Applebloom informs you.

Huh… “I thought he just wanted to be the family dog”

Applebloom nods “He does, but he’s also our friend and a bonafide Apple, that means learnin’ all the ins and outs of our family and our traditions. He takes it all very seriously and doesn’t want to miss out on nothin, he’s even been learnin’ a lot of things from Big Mac too, right big brother?” Applebloom looks to Big Mac for confirmation.

“Eyyup” Big Mac says with a nod.

“Then who is it then?” Spike asks

“Who is it? It’s a Cutie Mark Crusader based team. That means it’s got the best bowler around, that bowler being me.” Said a mysterious voice with a heavy bronx accent.

Who in the…

You all turn to the side to see the pink maned, green eyed, brown coated filly only known as Babs Seed, donned in the same red bowling shirt as the CMC, step to the comfy team sofa they were sitting on.

“BABS! YOU MADE IT!” The CMC cried out in cheer and went to hug their teammate.

Woah, it’s Babs Seed, even you didn’t see that coming.

“‘Course I did, just got a little hung up by your dog...friend...bug? I dunno, but he seemed really happy to have me as a friend and he kinda wanted this really long hug. So yeah, it took me a bit. But hey, I’m ready to wipe the floor with the mooks who want to challenge us.” Babs Seed said with pride and arrogance.

Of course, this just causes Big Mac to once again do a face hoof as he has to tell his cousin to calm down. “Babs, none of that banter stuff, alright? Just had a problem with it before and I’d like this to be a friendly game before I have to get goin’ out of town.”

“Relax, nopony ever got hurt from a little teasing and…” That’s when she eyes you. She looks at you, then chuckles and points “Is that the Anon guy you told me about, Applebloom? He looks pretty scrawny to me, and he doesn’t even look like he has any game! What’s up with that? It looks like if he threw a ball, his leg would go along with it! SNAP! Come clean off”

“Oooooh! I think I just heard my old train fire reignite” Discord said with a smirkish cringe.

Mnnnnnghhh... You look back at Discord, annoyed with his reaction. “Excuse me? Are you implying that was a burn? You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I am!...It’s just that was a pretty good one.” Discord said with another happy and mocking chuckle.

You look to Babs with an annoyed expression, how could she say that to you when her fucking cutie mark was about fucking hair! “And what do you know about that anyway? Aren’t you a hairdresser or something?”

“The youngest and the best there is down where I’m from. Which is the city, if you didn’t know. And to survive in the city, you gotta be good at everything. And let me tell you, bowling is like THE sport for any city ever. If you can’t bowl then you ain't got no place to stand, not even at your own talent. Yup, you’re not going to win, so don’t even try.” Babs tells you, god...she was so fucking smug, you couldn’t wait to crush her. “Besides, I did hear some of the stuff you were saying, and I don’t appreciate it”

“YEAH! YOU GO BABS! YOU TELL HIM!” Sweetie Belle cheers, which only serves to fuel your annoyance and Bab’s arrogance.

“Woah, woah! Hold on.” Spike jumps up off his seat to face off against Bab’s banter. “You can’t just say you’re going to win. Do you even know who we are? That’s Discord, the Spirit of Chaos. Anon’s the Hero Colt and his adopted son! And Big Mac...err” Spike looks at Big Mac, who only seemed to want this to be over so they could play the fucking game, and didn’t seem too pleased that this was going on at all “Look, point is, don’t count us out. We’re ‘The Guild’! And we always complete our quests, no matter what!”

“Ugh, nerd speak.” Babs said with an eye roll as she goes over to the scorecards and looks at the turn order “Look, you want to back up what you’re saying? Then let’s just play the game and see who comes out on top. And it looks like you’re first, Spike. So just show us what you got already.”

And through Babs leading on, the game finally begun. Well, that was a little less friendly than it could have been. Was it your fault? Nah, Scoots took it pretty well, and everyone else should have too. And that Babs, she really thought she could crush you and your team? Fuck it, if she wanted a challenge, then she was going to see what ‘The Guild’ was made of.

Spike pulls out the custom ball from his bag and holds it up “Alright guys, here it is, the weapon we’ll use to fell these foul beasts.”

Big Mac just looks at Spike silently, with judging eyes.

Spike, realizing he still is kind of railing against his sister and her group, eases off for a moment. But this was only a moment until he realized that they were still a team and this was still a competition. “C’mon, Big Mac, you can’t be hard on us just because your sister is on the other team. Besides, you’re the one who even set this all up. How are we supposed to do our best if you’re just gonna complain at us for even saying anything?”

Applebloom hops down from her seat and pats her brother’s side to get his attention “He’s kind of right, Big Mac. It’s us versus you, remember? You can be a little extra competitive if ya want, just don’t be all mean about it, ok?”

Big Mac looks down at Applebloom, who reassures him again that it’s alright, as does the rest of the CMC. He really didn’t want to be super competitive against his kin, but he did start to realize that this was all his doing in the first place. “Ok…” He then looks to Spike with a nod “Alright Spike, Let’s get to fellin’ those beasts then. You don’t mind us callin’ you that, right Applebloom?”

Applebloom shrugs “Ah don’t mind as long as you don’t really mean it”

Babs then jumps from her seat as she gives Big Mac a reassuring nod and a cocky smirk “Don’t sweat it anyway, don’t you all know that being called a beast means you turn all the guys against you into mush? It ain’t no big, because we are gonna beast these guys into paste” She then reassured her team.

And that’s when you notice it. A competitive spark hit Big Mac that, while subtle to everyone else, it was something you could spot due to him giving Babs a quick narrow eyed glance. Finally, there was going to be a game, and no one was going to hold back.

So Spike once again holds up the ball and calls for the three of you “Alright guys, place your hooves and paws...or whatever... onto the ball and let us summon forth the power of the bowling gods to aid us on our journey!”

Big Mac just lets out a “Eeyup” as he places his hoof on the ball.

“Oh, I’m very into this right now. FOR GLORY! FOR ALL THE PATRONS OF THIS FAIR BOWLING ALLEY WILL KNOW OF OUR MIGHT!” Discord completely gets into it, and places his paw on the ball. He was ready to win, at seemingly any cost.

As for you, you were now more focused on Babs then you were Sweetie Belle. She had a lot of sass, but she obviously didn’t realize what she was dealing with. Even if she was good, half her team was donkey dick at this game. This was in the bag for sure. So you place your hoof on the ball, and let out a warcry “FOR ‘THE GUILD’! YEEEAAHH!”

After everyone broke off, Spike stepped up to the lane to throw the first ball. You all cheered him on as he carefully eyed his target and prepared to throw. He stood there for a few moments, nodded, and finally threw. His technique wasn’t bad either, as he ended up knocking down every pin but the 7th and 10th, an easy spare for sure.

“C’mon Spike! You can do it!” You cheer.

He was confident, he raised his hand to signal for silence as he concentrated once more. And again, he shows his skill as he expertly gets the spare. Not bad for a start.

Spike stepped back to the team sofa with a satisfied smile on his face. He sat down, and wrote the spare on the team scorecard. “There we go, not bad if I do say so myself.”

“Indeed, all we need to do is roll at the pace of spares and strikes and we’ll have this game in the bag.” Discord says as he leans back and relaxes, feeling sure that his group can win the game.

“Applebloom, you’re up” Scootaloo says as she stares at her team’s scorecard, ready to write down whatever score Applebloom gets while wishing for a strike.

“You can do it, Applebloom! Get that strike!” Sweetie Belle cheers.

Applebloom nods to her group and takes her generic black ball to the lane. She places it down and tries to figure out how to roll the ball to the lane. When she thinks she’s got it, she goes to put the ball in her mouth and throw. But Babs, upon seeing such a technique, jumps from her seat to give her cousin a few pointers “Woah! Woah! Applebloom, what are ya doing? That’s all wrong!”

Applebloom puts the ball down and looks to Babs with confusion “It is? But uh, how else am I supposed to get it down the lane?”

“Oh geez” Babs puts her hoof to her face and shakes it slowly, she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. “C’mon, how are you supposed to aim at anything with your mouth? Look, you want to win? Then listen to your cousin.”

“Erm, ok, but what am I supposed to do then?” Applebloom asked, curious as to what Babs had in mind.

“Well, it’s simple really.” Babs holds the flat of her right hoof straight up “You balance the ball on the frog of your hoof like this, use your eyes to mark your target, then with a downward like curve, you roll that ball right to the darn target! Got it? It’s easy, Applebloom. So get that strike already!”

Applebloom nods with determination “Thanks Babs! You can count on me!”

With that, Applebloom carefully lowers herself to get the ball on the frog of her hoof. Holy shit, what a shitshow, she was wobbling and shaking in an attempt to even balance the damn thing. You look over to the other CMC, even they were fucking sweating it now. You started to feel a little bad now, their poor little hearts were going to be crushed if this was a blowout game.

After a few more moments, Applebloom finally balanced the ball on her hoof, eyed the center pin, and with a swift movement, she managed to throw the ball accurately enough to….GET A STRIKE?!

OH FUCKING WHAT?! You could only sit there with your mouth hung open as Applebloom did a little dance in triumph. After she calmed down, she went to sit on her seat with a cute and satisfied little smile.

“Woah, how did you manage to do that, Applebloom?” Scootaloo asked, amazed at Applebloom’s sudden skill.

“Ah just did what mah cousin Babs told me. I could feel it, the balance of the ball on my hoof. All ah had to do was throw it after that. It’s just like doing farmwork back home, ya just got to handle the ball like a farm tool and you’re good to go.” Applebloom replies.

Big Mac was up next. Ok, it’s fine, Applebloom is a farmhorse after all, and that technique Babs taught her can’t apply to someone like Sweetie Belle. Just relax, Anon, it’s still the beginning.

“Interesting…” You hear Discord say

“Hm? What’s interesting?” You ask him, wondering what he meant.

“We could, in fact, have a close game going on here. “ Discord replies, then eyes Big Mac as he misses a few of the pins “Or we could even end up losing.” Discord summons up a drink, and takes a sip while still remaining rather calm despite a guy like him not usually taking well to coming even close to losing.

“I mean, all we have to do is step up our game a little.” You then notice that Big Mac thankfully picks up the spare “What, are you scared we might lose or something? Relax, they may have a strike, but that’s probably one of the few their going to get. Besides...erm.” You start to realize that maybe you were being too much of a dick, it was just a friendly game after all, there was no reason to shake your friendship with the CMC due to it. This was especially true for Scootaloo, who you were closest to out of the three. “It doesn’t matter who wins, just as long as we all had fun”

“Already bowing out of the challenge then, are we? Anon, you may not realize what I’m doing, but I am reconstructing my entire being to make sure that I bowl the perfect game.” Discord says. Despite him saying that, he didn’t really seem to be changing at all. Even then, that didn’t sound right to you.

“I’m not bowing out of the game, Discord, I just think that maybe I came on a little too strong. Also, isn’t that cheating? C’mon, if you want to win, then do it without cheating. Trust me, cheating to win just to win just feels all kinds of empty.” You explain to him. Cheating, really? Even you wouldn’t stoop that low. It’s like hacking in a game. Unless you’re doing it to troll, then it isn’t any fun. And the CMC were not the three you wanted to troll, even if Sweetie herself was kind of a dick.

“It’s not cheating.” Discord says as he eyes Sweetie Belle. He watches her try to make the same attempt Applebloom did, but it ends with only two pins being knocked down. “I will still have to use my own skill to actually throw the ball, but my body will be the equivalent of the best bowler in Equestria. The spin, the power, the technique, all will be available to me when I...AHA! There we go!” Discord raises his talons, only for them not to be talons anymore. No, now it had become a fucking human arm and hand.

“HOLY CELESTIA! WHAT IS THAT FREAKY THING?!” Spike notices Discord’s arm, and freaks out at, what he feels, is bizarre and grotesque.

In fact, many of the others around the bowling alley take notice due to Spike’s shriek and either freak out, nearly puke, or even faint.

Scootaloo however, actually finds it pretty cool and approaches Discord for a closer look. She seemed a little hesitant to ask Discord about it at first. But then she looks to you, she then figures it’d be ok since nothing bad should happen if she asks him, and if it did, that you’d stop it real quick. “So...er...Discord, what’s that? I know you do all kinds of chaos magic, but I’ve never seen anything like that before.”

A human arm? Seriously?! It had burly body hair and ugly crusty nails and everything. But still, it didn’t look that bad! What, does that mean that if you were human that all the ponies would run away from you like you were some kind of monster?! Goddamn it...You remembered your old human form. Come on, one of the ponies would think you’d be sexy, right?...Right?

Ugh, just seeing how the ponies reacted made you put your face on the table.

Discord stands up with a smile and gives Scootaloo a gentle pat with his paw as he grips his human hand a few times. “A bit of an evolution of sorts. A human hand, to be exact. I’m merely going to use it to help me grip the ball and throw it down the lane.”

“A human hand? You mean like that thing Anon...erm..” Scootaloo quieted down,Not everyone knew of your secret, and she didn’t want to be the one to spill the beans. “I mean, cool...but, wait…” She then realized something else, the same thing you thought of actually. “Isn’t that cheating?”

Discord chortles as he picks up the ball and prepares himself “Of course not! Haha! That’s such nonsense. As I said to Anon, it’s simply to help me grip this ball, not to make the perfect strike or anything. Why would I want to roll a perfect game anyway? I wouldn’t want to humiliate you, the fine patrons of this establishment, and everypony who’s ever bowled a perfect game for themselves for the VERY FIRST TIME THEY ACTUALLY PLAYED!” Discord practically screams out those last words. Cripes, he didn’t even care about beating the CMC in all actuality, he just wanted to crush the whole fucking bowling scene. It seemed he actually wanted the perfect fucking score.

“I mean, umm...erm…” Scootaloo just couldn’t hold it in “That still sounds like cheating to me”

“Yeah, something ain’t right around here…” Babs gets up to inspect Discord’s arm, blowing away some of her mane aside to get a better look “How do we really know you ain’t going to cheat? You do know nopony is allowed to use magic in a mixed game, right? If you cheat, then you’re outta here.”

“Aren’t you presumptuous.” Discord didn’t take too kindly to Bab’s words as he looked down at her with a stoic look and half slitted eyes “I’ll have you know that I represent the honorable team known as ‘The Guild’, and I’d never stoop to something as low as cheating. But you’ve seen my body, are you going to tell me that I’m equipped to play the game properly when I don’t even have a way to properly grip the ball?”

Babs just raises an eyebrow at Discord as she shows him the frog of her hoof “Hey genius, does it look like any of us ponies can grip the ball properly?”

Discord actually stopped right there, as if he was beaten in a battle of words. He stumbled a little on what to say next as small beads of sweat came off his head. Really? How could he not see this coming? Ah god, the one thing you didn’t want to happen was being fucking disqualified for something as stupid as this.

“Well...you see...Hmm..Ahh!” Discord finally comes up with a retort “Being a being of chaos, I happen to be right hoofed, but have two left limbs. So this new arm fixes that.”

“Ok...But.” Babs points to his human arm “That’s on your left too”

Discord coughs, and clears his throat as he quickly thinks of another lie “Erm..ahrm..hrm..Ahh, well, as I said, being of chaos. It would be rather chaotic for my right arm to be on my left side, right?”

“...I guess?” Babs replies. You couldn’t believe it, she was actually buying it.

“I mean, that kind of makes sense, in a non sensey kind of way.” Scootaloo adds

“Exactly, now will you two step aside? I’m trying to bowl here.” Discord brushes them both away as he goes back to prepping for his turn.

Christ, he had to make everything so damn difficult. Now he was going to cheat his way to a perfect fucking game. Now whatever glory there was to be had was thrown out the window. Though, that did make you wonder. Could you throw the perfect game? It would be cool to be the world record holder in Bowling. “Anon, the hero colt, rolled his perfect game on his very first try!” Yeah, that would be on your damned trophy. Ok then, that was definitely something to shoot for.

Discord finally rolls his first ball and….oh god, it was worse than a gutter ball. He fucking threw the damn thing over the foul line in a backwards roll, causing it to roll back to him once it had reached halfway across the lane.

Spike slaps his face with his clawed hand “Oh no…”

Big Mac nearly moans in anguish. It was surprising really, but his competitive spirit must have really taken a nosedive after that massive failure.

You? Oh god, considering he was your “Dad”, you felt utterly humiliated. “Good grief…”

Discord could hear the CMC giggling, he looks back at them, rather confused “What? What’s so funny?”

“HAHAHA! You didn’t even score! HEHEHE!” Sweetie Belle laughed, nearly falling off her seat.

“Wait. WAIT! THAT COUNTED?!” Discord looks back at Spike, who was putting a dash on the first frame “THAT ACTUALLY COUNTED?!” He was utterly blown away by the fact his shitty roll counted.

“Y-yeah...It does. What happened, Discord? You were messing around on purpose, right?” Spike had to ask him, he couldn’t believe that someone like Discord could foul something up that badly.

“U-uh…” Discord was stunned. He was frozen there for a moment as he held the ball and looked at it. He could see his failure all over his face through the reflection on the ball. He couldn’t allow this, sure he fucked up the strike, but he had to at least make it look like it was just to be courteous to the CMC “O-of course! I merely didn’t want to cause too much of an imbalance in the score. Now then, watch this! The perfect roll!”

Discord winds up this time, and gives it all he’s got.

And you just watch, your ears drooping when you see the kind of throw he made. “Oh no…”

Really, that was all you were able to say as the ball comes careening backwards towards the team couch and right into the center of your fucking face, knocking you backwards and behind the couch in a daze.

You could hear everyone gather around as stars danced about in front of you.

“Woah, that was one crazy throw” Scootaloo said in amazement.

“Yeah, erm, do you think everything will be ok?” Applebloom asked, she sounded very worried about the situation.

“I dunno, did you hear that noise? That was louder than brass hooves hitting a set of teeth.” Babs said, in as much amazement as Scootaloo sounded in.

“Does that count? It didn’t even go over the lane that time, I think I deserve another throw.” Really Discord? Holy fuck…

“Wait Discord, oh no... Is that?” Spike suddenly sounds super worried about...something.

“It’s a crack?! How can there be a crack?! I didn’t think anything could break through something like that” Sweetie Belle sounded astonished about something...wait, a crack?! Oh no…

“Eeyup, that’s a crack, but it shouldn’t...WHAT IN THE HAY?!” Even the usually calm Big Mac suddenly let out a horrified cry. Oh shit, were you dying?

“OH NO! IT CRACKED IN TWO! NOOOOOOO!” Spike suddenly screamed in hysterical like fear.

Suddenly, you started crying and moaning as you whined to yourself “T-this can’t be it...I still have too much to live for. I-I thought my head was invincible...Mngh..ngh. I didn’t even know it could...wait.” You slid your hooves along your face and realized you were fine.

You hopped up from the backside of the team couch to take a look at what the fuck they were talking about. All of them were gathered around the emerald bowling ball, which was now split in two from colliding with your face. Spike kneeled over it, crying his eyes out as he held up a few of it’s shards.

Are...you...fucking.. “WHAT?! THAT’S WHAT SPLIT IN TWO?! HOLY...GUYS! I THOUGHT I WAS DYING OVER HERE! AND YET YOU’RE ALL GETTING WORKED UP OVER A BALL!? HELLO! IT HIT ME IN THE FACE! WHAT ABOUT ME?! FORGET THAT STUPID BALL!”

Your words only seemed to make Spike cry more as he sobbed all over the broken halves of emerald.

“Anon, why do you need to be so insensitive? We all knew you were alright. But the ball? Look at it! It snapped in two! Poor Spike spent many a bit getting this ball and even more for the customization. I think that was his entire life savings, all spent for us.” Discord says as he looks at you with a snooty frown.

“I DID SPEND MY LIFE SAVINGS! ALL ONE HUNDRED BITS! GWAAAAAAAAH!” Spike fell over again, crying over the ball.

“Erm, Spike, um. It’ll be ok. We can still use one of the balls in the alley to continue the game. And besides, that ball was made of a mighty big gemstone, right? You could at least eat it, I bet it tastes really good.” Applebloom says while patting his back, doing her best to cheer him up.

“WAHH..wait.” Spike suddenly looks up and then at the cracked halves of the emerald ball. “That’s right, this was one of the biggest emeralds I’ve ever seen in my life. And I kinda secretly had been wanting to nibble it since I found it...erm, but is it really worth the hundred bits?....umm…” Spike hesitantly takes one of the halves of the ball and bites down on it. Suddenly he starts salivating and drooling as he mercilessly munches down on the emerald's half. “Ooo-oo-ohhh, yeah...I-It’s totally worth it.”

“Well, that solves that problem, but that’s still a big zero for ‘The Tavern’ or whatever you called yourselves. Which means it’s my turn…” Babs grabs her team ball, throws it like it’s nothing, and immediately hits the strike “And now it’s your turn, Anon.” She doesn’t even say it with arrogance, she simply goes back to her seat and waits patiently.

UGGGGGGGH! You couldn’t believe what just happened. You just find yourself slumping and sliding down back onto the couch with a miserable look on your face. You got outcared by a fucking ball, how does that even fucking happen?! Worst still, Discord’s big fucking zero meant your team was behind, big time.

This game was a fucking nightmare.

So far, the game was a major disaster. Your team was now down by a large amount of points right from the get go from Discord’s turn. Goddammit, you should have known that he wouldn’t have been able to do this without ACTUAL use of his magic.

You grumble to yourself as you take a generic green ball from the nearby shelf and walk over to your lane. You had to start out strong, you had to make this throw. Come on! YOU CAN DO IT!

But before you can even prep throwing the ball, you hear Scootaloo call out your name. “Hey, Anon, wait!”

“What, guh?” You look back as you put the ball down. Was she calling for you? God, what could she want? Was she going to taunt you? Was she going to tell you that you have no hope? “What?” You say with some hostility in your voice.

“Woah, Anon...Hey, come on” Scootaloo hops off her seat and walks over to you with a frown, her ears folded. “I just wanted to ask you if you were ok. And, y’know, wish you luck.”

Wut? Now you were confused “You’re wishing me luck? I mean, I’m ok, I’ve taken worse. But why are you wishing me luck? We’re against each other right now.”

“I know, but I’m kind of excited to see how you’ll do now that you’ve been trained by Rainbow Dash. Plus, you’re my friend, why wouldn’t I wish you luck?” Scootaloo slowly begins to smile, hoping you weren’t still in a sour mood.

Wow, finally, a little respect. “Well, yeah...Thanks, Scoots, good luck to you too. And yeah, I’ve been meaning to try out these skills on something practical. I’m really hoping I can get a strike here.” Now you started to feel better, Scoots really knew how to better the situation.

“Thanks! I really can’t wait for tomorrow too! It’s gonna be you and me, racing to see who has improved the most” She then says…wait.

What the fuck did she mean by that? “Racing? You and me? What, during my final exam? Wh-when did that happen?”

“Oh, um, I asked Rainbow Dash if I could try out the exam too. She told me it was a little dangerous for a foal who hasn’t been doing the training. But I managed to convince her by showing her that I’ve been copying the whole training thing you’ve been doing, and that it’d be a great way to test how far you’ve really come. Heh, which I guess would mean how far I’ve come too. It’s gonna be awesome, Anon! I can’t wait to show Rainbow Dash what I’m made of! That’s why I say good luck to you again, for tomorrow this time! It’s gonna be really exciting!” Scootaloo was super excited for this, and there wasn’t even a hint of malcontent in her voice.

But, oh no. That was going to make tomorrow extra tough. What if you can’t beat her? What if she utterly thrashes you? Or hell, what if you crush her so badly that she loses hope in ever getting to fly? “Yeah….Scoots, erm. Are you sure you should race me tomorrow? I mean, what if something goes wrong?”

“What can go wrong? It doesn’t even really matter who wins, it’s more about beating that target time!” And then Scootaloo turns her head to the side to whisper “And maybe winning wouldn’t be so bad also…”

You don’t catch that last part, but you do hold in your sigh so you don’t seem rude. “Ok, erm. Then, uh, good luck tomorrow. Really, Scoots...” You give her a cheerful smile. If this was really going to happen, then you can only hope she at least crushes the target time...Because despite what guilt you may have, you didn’t plan on losing. “You’re gonna do great!”

Scoots gives you a short little hug and walks back to her seat feeling pride and confidence in her heart, something you may need now as you go back to concentrating on your throw. But how do you even throw the ball?

Well, maybe you can borrow a technique?

You try Bab’s technique. You hold the ball easily on the frog of your hoof and try to look at the pins like they were targets. Man, your focus really was better than before, but how about your skill? Only one way to find out! “HYAAAH!” You throw the ball along the ground the best you can, rolling it to the right with a leftward spin. While not as well executed as Bab’s throw, it did in fact get what you wanted as your ball spins just enough to hit the center pin and the third as well, causing enough of an effect to knock all the pins down in one roll. In other words... “YES! YEEEESSS! WOOOOOO!”

You jump back to look at your teammates, who were all applauding your masterful roll. Fuck yes! Even Discord was impressed?! Ohhhh baby! You take a bow before going back to your seat with satisfaction.

You looked over at the CMC, they seemed impressed, even Sweetie Belle. Yeah, life was good.

But then, Babs got out of her seat to say something to you. Was she going to be a dick? Was she going to get angry that you took her tech?

As it turned out, it was none of those things. “Good job, Anon, that was a pretty good throw. And I saw the way you spoke to Scootaloo over there, you don’t seem like that bad a guy, especially with the way my cousin Applebloom painted you as.”

Wut? “What do you mean the way Applebloom painted me as?” The fuck?!

“Y’know, when she had a crush on you and stuff. She sent me a few letters after you told her off that made you out to be this big jerk. She said she kind of exaggerated due to being all angry about it later on, but it didn’t seem like it to me when I first heard you talking when I got here. So hey, are we cool?” Babs holds out her hoof to you for a hoofbump.

You also couldn’t help but think that she also must have had a few whispers with Applebloom just then. The way Applebloom was silently looking at you, Babs may have asked her a few things about you when you were talking to Scootaloo. So that’s what it was, huh? Heh, man, that crush, it was so long ago. It was kind of funny how it still managed to sneak it’s way back in some way.

“Thanks, Babs. You’re not so bad yourself.” You reach over and give her a hoofbump “I’m gonna take a guess Sweetie Belle didn’t help your opinion of me either.”

“Yeah, she kind of said you were really ‘high and mighty’, that’s the words she used anyway. And I can kinda see it, but I’d have to hang out with you to really get a feel for you. Right now? We’re still facing off against each other, which means we’re still gonna bust your chops. So no hard feelings or nothing when you lose.” She then cocks a smirk at you. “So yeah, you’re going down.”

Oh really? You smirk back at her “Against my skill? We’ll see about that.”

A moment after saying that, Scootaloo manages to get a strike on her very first try. As Scootaloo goes to her seat hopping and excited, Babs smirk becomes a wry grin “Can’t win if your team score is lower than ours, Anon. Still…” Babs eases up, and takes a nod at your skill “You seem pretty good, if you can manage a perfect game, I might be willing to say you’re better than me.”

Really? Hmmm... “Funny you say that, this would be my first game of bowling, same as my Dad. So, if I do manage the perfect game, I’d say I’d be better than anypony ever.”

“Woah...huh, I’d actually like to see that. But now I know it ain’t happening. Nopony ever rolls the perfect game their first try. But…If you do somehow manage it, I’ll fix up your mane for free whenever you want, how does that sound?” Babs says as she eyes your mane.

You never really did anything with your mane. All you do is brush it back and it looks cute, especially cute for Diamond Tiara. So if it was cute, then you didn’t really require Bab’s services. Hell, what was wrong with your mane anyway? “Uhhh, what’s wrong with my mane? You don’t think it’s cute?”

“Anon, I’m gonna be real with you. Your mane? It looked like all you did was wipe it back some. Sure, that’s enough..for...I guess, things? Look, just…” Babs is actually trying to be courteous with this. “Handling manes is my talent, I even get paid for it when I go to my friend’s mom’s workplace to do a mane or two. You can say I got a knack for it. And I’m just saying that your mane can use a tune up. There’s...erm..’That’ style, and then there’s...some other styles that are pretty cool. Like, I’m not kidding, I can really get you looking smooth.”

Man, she really didn’t get it. You let out a chuckle as you decline her offer “Look, I’m like...super handsome, even my aunt tells me I am. I’m her little gentlecolt, you know?”

Babs suddenly looked at you oddly, like you said something weird. It was almost like she was trying to hold back a laugh “Gentlecolt...Right. W-well, I guess you don’t need my help then...erm, just gonna sit back down” The more she spoke, the more like she was going to bust a gut. She went back to her seat, shaking as if she was gonna explode.

Humph, she just didn't get it. If even Fluttershy could see your cuteness, then you didn't need any help.

While this was all going on, Big Mac’s turn had already passed as he came back to sit on the couch to tell Spike to mark down a nine. Spike was looking over the scorecard, specifically Discord’s score. “Discord, things aren’t looking good right now, we need you to pull off...like...a ton of strikes.”

“Relax, Spike. It was a practice turn, that’s all.” Discord says as he notices Sweetie Belle’s less than perfect set of rolls, she only gets five pins down this time. “This time, I’m sure to get a strike.”

“We’re gonna need all the strikes we can get, Discord. There’s only ten rounds here, and unless we all pull together, we won’t be able to win past the fifth frame.” Spike said as he tried guessing what the final scores could be just from everyone’s current showings.

Discord scoffs as he takes the ball and walks over to the lane. “Like I said, don’t worry. I’m sure to get it down the lane this time!” Discord says as he preps his throw “I may have lost the perfect score, but I’m not about to lose to a bunch of fillies.”

Discord throws the ball along the ground…and into the gutter.

“....ohhhnnn…” Spike looks on with utter astonishment at such a piss poor roll.

“What? I atleast got it down the lane this time! Again, a practice roll. Don’t worry, Spike, I can at least pick up the spare if I just fine tune my roll, like so...annnnnnnddddd! HA! I knew adding a little more power would get it down the middle…” Discord said as he threw the ball. And boy did he throw it, quite literally. The ball flew just above the middle pin and straight into the mouth of the lane...hitting nothing.

“We’re doomed…” Spike says, frozen from shock on how bad that was before slamming his face on the table.

“Eeyup…” Big Mac said, even he was stunned.

“Oh Discord…you really should have fucking practiced for real…” You say silently to yourself. Surprisingly, your team was pretty rock solid, even you were pulling your weight. But with Discord failing so miserably, it was clear that the win was an impossibility.

Discord sat down, with worry and shame on his face. It was finally starting to sink in that he was a detriment to the team. But rather than say anything, he just stays silent.

Babs does her turn, and pulls off a spare this time. Not bad.

Then it was your turn. You look to Discord, and try to give him some words of encouragement. “Dad, it’s alright. It’s just a game, ok? You’re just not that great at bowling, that’s all. You’re great at everything else though.”

Discord slumps onto the table “But I need to be good at everything.What’s the point of going on if I’m not good at every single thing in the world?”

“What? But Discord, that would mean you’d also want to be the best at being the Princess of Friendship. Y’know, you’d have to be like Twilight to be able to do that.” Spike tells him

“WHAT?! EWWWW!” Discord suddenly springs back up as he shivers and starts spitting out globs of food that looked like Twilight’s head. “Noo! No ! No! No! Noooooo! No! Be like Twilight?! I’d sooner give up my magic and whimsy before I’d even attempt to try something like that. You know what? You’re right, who needs to be good at this stupid game anyway? I’m Discord, the spirit of chaos! I only need to be good at games that actually matter, like O&O.”

Spike nods to Discord, then gives you the thumbs up. It seems he noticed what you were trying to do, and backed you up in cheering up Discord.

Spike was a pretty cool guy. When he was with you, he always tried to get your back, just like when that no good Good News came barging into the castle that one time. You just wish you were able to take his offer for bowling the first time, you didn’t feel that great having to see Discord get depressed.

Hell, the first time he offered, it was for a perfectly rolled game, which even if you didn't do, would have just been a friendly game of bowling anyway. But you gotta admit, you rolling a perfect game right now really would make up for all this losing. But what were the chances of that? Huh?

Well...maybe the chances were better than you thought. Because as you make the roll on the ball, you manage to get another strike.

No way…

When you look back, all eyes were on you, everyone on both teams silent. Not just because you made another strike, but because it was you, who has presumably never bowled before, making that strike.

No way...C-could you do it?

Maybe? No….you could!

Suddenly, this wasn’t a game about beating the other team. If you could manage the perfect game, then glory would be yours. Babs had already messed up, and you were on a roll.

Indeed, even after Scootaloo played her turn, she had only managed a spare this time, just like Babs.

And the game went on like this too. And while everyone was getting varying scores, with the exclusion of Discord, who was just now trying to make his misses look elegant just to save face, you...You...were doing it. With every turn, you were managing a strike. You couldn’t believe it, they couldn’t believe it, even the other bowlers, who were gathering around to see the game, couldn’t believe it.

Frame after frame, roll after roll, you were making consecutive strikes! You were close to the perfect 300 for your very first time playing bowling...In Equestria...BUT STILL! HOLY SHIT! Everyone was excited whenever your turn came up. The CMC, the bowlers, Spike, Big Mac. Hell, Discord was now running around the bowling alley exclaiming that it was his son, the hero colt, that was going to be making this record breaking event happen right now, right here, in this spot.

It was the 10th frame, the bonus roll, you only needed one more strike. Suddenly, the competition didn’t exist as now everyone on both sides just wanted you to pull this off. Even Sweetie Belle was excited and wanting to see you make history here in Ponyville. You were truly a hero… Holy crap! THIS WAS IT! TRUE GLORY!

You must never audibly thank Rainbow Dash for this…

She must never know her training let you pull this off…

“Anon, you almost have this. But don’t be a putz and choke, alright? I ain’t never seen nothing like this before, and I want to see you pull this off. Remember, the only thing that exists is you and them pins, got it? I was serious too, even if you don’t want it, I’ll fix up your mane for free whenever you do decide to let me. I know you can do it! Show them pins what you're made of!” Babs was giving you words of advice, she wanted to see this happen as badly as everyone else.

“Yeah…” You say as you started to sweat profusely. You were telling yourself not to choke, not to let the ball slip, to not let your sweaty hooves to cause you to fumble. You stood there, focusing the best you could as the bowling alley started at dead silence, with the quiet chanting of your name building with each passing second.

It was like time stood still…

It was like your entire life rode on this single moment…

This was it…

You could feel your excitement quaking beneath your hooves…

...Wait…

“What’s that noise?” one of the bowlers in the audience state when the sudden sounds of stomping began to pervade the room.

“It’s getting louder!” Another bowler said as she started to look around frantically.

And then there was a deafening roar, causing everyone to duck down and hide for cover.

No! NO! WHATEVER THAT WAS, IT WILL NOT TAKE THIS WIN FROM YOU!

As if nothing else exists,you throw the ball for that final strike, that perfect game.

The ball was halfway there...THIS WAS IT!

And then suddenly, a ferocious dragon, large and yellow in color, with a hooked mouth and red frills, stomped through the roof of the bowling alley and started to tear everything apart as it sniffed for something.

“A DRAGON! EVERYPONY RUN!” Someone says as everyone starts to run away in a panic.

Indeed, Big Mac himself takes the responsible roll of brother and starts to get the CMC and other scared foals out of the alley. Spike is trying to pull you away as you stare at your ball… The ball had been stopped into a spin by the Dragon’s entrance...but it was still slowly making its way to the pins due to the spin itself. “Anon! It’s a forest dragon! I think it’s sniffed the ball when it cracked open! I think that’s what it’s after! We gotta go! Your Dad can handle this!”

But you were so...NO!

And just like that, the Dragon’s foot comes down on the ball, crushing it into rubble as it lowers its head and starts to sniff around.

Spike is frozen in fear now as the large dragon sniffs near his mouth, picking up on the scent of gems, and then notices one of the halves of the ball on the table. It then stands straight up, and roars at the both of you as it starts to build up it’s flames.

“A-Anon…” Spike gulped “I’m scared…” Indeed, it was too late to run now. And when Spike did look back to see where Discord was, it seemed he left with the crowd. Not because he was scared, but because he was trying to convince them to come back to see your perfect game.

As for you...your eye was twitching.

You felt...pure...fucking...rage.

The dragon was taking its sweet time revving up those flames, no doubt Twilight would be here soon to deal with the problem herself. Both these points meant nothing to you however. This hulking beast ruined your shot at perfection, and you will not let that stand.

Spike was scared shitless. He didn’t expect this to happen. He could only guess that the ball breaking in half is what caused this. The emerald ball was of a special kind of gemstone with a great taste and alluring aroma, it was the reason he bought it in the first place. The ball splitting in half must have released a greater scent that was sniffed out by this dragon. “A-Anon! W-W-We gotta go! I-I don’t think he knows about dragons being good with ponies n-now.” Spike gulped

“Spike...just go” You put on your horn as the dragon prepared to annihilate the entire place

“Anon, what are you d-doing? ANON! You can’t fight this guy!” Spike suddenly snaps back to reality when he realises what you were going to do “Even with your horn, you won’t do much to this guy! It’s a gold scaled Diamondtooth! Magic barely does anything to it, and it spits balls of fire that explodes! Even Twilight is gonna have trouble with this gu-” But before Spike could finish, you give him a death glare, a stare to rival even Fluttershy’s. “O-ok then...mnngh..” Spike slowly steps away and runs towards the door, but he stops when he reaches it and looks back at you “...I gotta get Twilight, and quick!”

Now it was just you and the dragon. “HEY YOU! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU DO KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID, RIGHT?!”

But the dragon just prepares it’s flames even further, the light in it’s mouth becoming intense as large flames start to poke out from it. It wouldn’t be long now.

“HEY! SHIT FOR BRAINS! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME! YOU JUST RUINED ONE OF THE BEST MOMENTS OF MY PONY LIFE, YOU FUCKBAG! I WAS GOING TO BE THE COLT...YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK IT, AND FUCK YOU! BRING IT ON! DO IT! I’M RIGHT HERE! BURN ME TO A DAMN CRISP!” That’s it, you wanted that stupid fucker to open that big fucking mouth of his. Resistant to magic, was he?

The dragon finally preps it’s explosive fireball, and pelts it directly towards you.

“NOT TODAY! YOU STUPID FUCK! SWING BATTA, SWING!” A gigantic metal bat suddenly floats ahead of you and swings at the ball. The dragon may have been resistant to magic, but the fireball was not. It bounces back from your swing and smashes right back into the dragon’s face, sending the goliath of a beast into the air, with enough velocity to send him a few feet away from town.

Oh, but you weren’t done yet, that fucker was going to pay for fucking up your game. You grab onto the metal bat and launch off into the air. When you spot the dragon slowly recovering from his fall, you spin, grab the bat, and start meteor dropping towards his face “YOU STUPID FUCK! I’M GOING TO KNOCK YOUR FUCKING TEETH IN!”

The dragon puts its hand over it’s eyes to block the sun as it looks up into the sky. When it finally spots you, it was too late to dodge. You use all your power, both physical and magical, to slam the bat at the side of the dragon’s face. The force of the swing was so powerful, that even the magical metal bat snapped in two as the dragon went into a spin and flew off into the horizon. You had put so much magical power into that final swing that you’d be surprised if the dragon didn’t have an aneurysm after that.

With the metal bat broken, it disappears into the ether as your horn returns to normal. “AND IF YOU FUCKING DARE COME BACK! I’LL RAM AN EVEN BIGGER BAT UP YOUR ASSHOLE...Cloaca...Cloica? Cicola? I dunno….Ugh…” You lay down onto the grass, feeling defeated despite beating the dragon. “I was so close to achieving something without magic…and then that happened! THAT HAPPENED! GRAWGR!”

“Anon, are you ok?!” You hear a voice coming in from a distance.

“NO, I AM NOT OK!” You yell out, your rage returning to you upon quick remembrance of your ruined game.

“Rainbow Dash! Check him for any injuries, I’m going to fly up and make sure that dragon isn’t coming back. Oygh, I’m gonna have to send a letter to Princess Ember about this.” Said the voice, it was obvious it was Twilight, but you were too pissed to care.

“Alright, Rockhead, I’m taking you to the hospital after this, so just show me where that guy got you so I know what to tell the doc” Rainbow Dash says as she approaches you “A dragon, sheesh! Should have known a few of them were still jerks.”

When she does approach you, you suddenly grab hold of her face and shake it in rage “I’M NOT HURT! I’M PISSED! THAT DRAGON RUINED MY PERFECT GAME! I WANT HIM BACK HERE SO I CAN MAKE A BOWLING BALL OUT OF HIS FREAKING SKULL! I’LL MAKE A SLUSHY OUT OF HIS BRAIN! AND I’LL USE HIS CLAWS TO PROVIDE CUTTING TOOLS FOR THE LOCAL SCHOOL’S SHOP CLASS!”

Rainbow Dash pulled back from your grasp and looks at you cautiously “...O-K then... So, you’re mad. Erm...Anon, you know you just legit saved Ponyville from a dragon attack, right?”

“BUT MY PERFECT GAME! HOLY CRAP! IS THIS HOW THE X-CAPTAIN FEELS?! I’M GONNA RIP THAT DRAGON’S HEART OUT, I SWEAR IT! REEEEEE!” You were nearly foaming at the mouth.

“Anon!” Rainbow Dash gives you a slap on the face “Snap out of it! You’re creeping me out!”

Ugh! She kind of hit hard on that one. It wasn’t like you were out of it, you were just fucking pissed. “Ouch! Ok, ok! Ugh, so yeah...erm...There was a dragon, and he’s gone now. I mean…” You sigh “Look Rainbow Dash, he ruined my perfect game. I know you’re my teacher and all, but I don’t want to hear it about how I handled it, that guy had it coming.”

“What, you think I’m gonna lay on to you for smacking that dragon? Anon, what you did? THAT WAS AWESOME!” Rainbow Dash said with excitement “I saw you in the air with that huge bat! You sent that guy flying into the stratosphere! It was pretty darn cool! Plus, again, you saved all of Ponyville! I mean, we kind of do that from time to time. But this time, it was you! You should be proud! I am! My student saved the day!” Rainbow Dash had a tear in her eye “I bet this is how my Mom felt about me everyday”

“I-I guess...ugh” You slump down to the ground as your ears droop down “Why couldn’t he attack AFTER I hit the pins?”

Twilight flies back to the ground and notices your position. She gets scared and looks to Rainbow Dash to find out your condition. “Rainbow Dash! Is he ok?! What happened to him?!”

“It’s ok, Twilight. He’s just depressed about some bowling game or something.” Rainbow Dash says “Can you get him to snap out of it?”

Twilight nods “I’ll give it a go” Twilight walks up to you and gives you a tap “Anon, are you ok?”

“No” You say in a slightly hostile way “That dragon ruined my game”

“Ok, and it’s obvious that was really important to you. But you know what’s also important?” Twilight asks you

“Breaking that dragon’s best arm so he’ll never know the joys of bowling?” You say, not really caring what Twilight had to say.

Twilight gulps just a little at that. She knew you could have a violent streak, and tries to see past that. “I-I guess that could be important. But what’s MOST important is the fact that you not only saved the town, but your friends too! Everypony is ok thanks to you. I saw what that dragon was when you knocked him back, I would have had some trouble with him if I had to go against him one on one”

You almost reply with a “I don’t care”. But you realized who you were talking to, and also realized that answer would have made Twilight snap at you for sure. But the truth was, she was right. Despite the fact that your game was ruined, you did actually manage to save the fucking town. Was that a good thing? Maybe. But oh man, your hero status is gonna be at its peak again. And while that was fine, it also meant Snips and Snails were probably gonna come up with another scheme to be your apprentices or something.

But then something else dons on you when you look back at Twilight. You saved the CMC, in which one of its members looked down at you in a way that you didn’t like. You realized there was no way for Sweetie Belle to denounce this shit, she had to full on respect you now.

And oh god, when the Riches hear about this? Oh boy, them respect points. And Diamond? Ohhh yeah, them sweet sweet soft cuddles. “Yeah, I did save everypony, didn’t I? I’m sorry Twilight…” You hide your true thoughts as you give her a tired sigh “I just let my emotions run away with me. So, everypony got out ok?”

Twilight nods “Mhmm, they did. Anon, what you did was very very brave. And heh…” She lets out a sheepish chuckle “I guess I can’t really say something like ‘It’s too dangerous for a foal like you, what were you thinking’ given who you are. In fact, I’m actually really impressed. I didn’t think you could create a physical object to fight him off. How did you know that was going to work, Anon?”

Uhhhhhhhh...You didn’t. “Oh, well, I mean, bats are universal for both games and smashing faces. It seemed obvious to me.”

Rainbow Dash let out an arrogant chuckle as she gave you a pat “See that? He got that kind of thinking thanks to my awesome training.”

“Come on, Rainbow Dash, don’t go trying to take any credit on this one. We know how Anon is, he can be kind of violent at times. But in this case, I’m kind of glad he did. Though I hope that dragon is ok, if only so he can stand trial in Princess Ember’s court...or um...However she does that.” Twilight says.

“I guess...Uh, are we gonna tell Fluttershy about this though? She’s gonna have a fit if she finds out this happened” Rainbow Dash asked, worried that Fluttershy might overreact to you nearly getting charbroiled.

“We have to tell her. Anon is her nephew after all. Plus, it’d be hard to explain why the bowling alley is suddenly demolished without that particular detail anyway. Rainbow Dash, can you take him to Fluttershy’s? She hasn’t left to see the breezies yet, and I’d rather she knows now rather than later.” Twilight asks Rainbow Dash

“What? Come on, Twilight! I’m busy too, remember? That Filthy Rich guy has been asking for me and Captain Spitfire. I don’t even know why, but I bet it’s over something super boring. You know those business types, it’s gonna take forever. I’d rather get it over with now while there’s still a lot of the day to enjoy.” Rainbow Dash protests. But within her protest, something catches your interest. Mr.Rich wanted her and Spitfire? What for? Your training?

Hmmm...Now you were curious.

“Rainbow Dash, there’s a lot of scared ponies out there. As the princess of friendship, it’s up to me to calm everypony down before things get worse. That was a pretty big scare.” Twilight explains.

“Ugh, can’t you have Mayor Mare do it? Then you can take Anon to see Fluttershy while I go meet up with Spitfire for this thing” Rainbow Dash groans.

“Sorry, Rainbow Dash. But I have to do what I have to do. Besides, weren’t you just proud of him for what he did just now?” She moves in close to her and whispers “Please, just stay with him, alright? I can tell from his face that he’s shaken up. You’ve been training him for a while now, so I’m sure you being around him will help calm his nerves. We kind of had a debate that nearly got heated today, I don’t think I’m the right mare for the job in giving him comfort.”

Rainbow Dash, upon hearing those words, suddenly stood up tall and gave Twilight a nod, confirming that she understood and would take this seriously now “Yeah, when you put it that way, it makes sense. Ok, Twilight, you do what you gotta do. I’ll stay with Anon.”

“Thank you, Rainbow Dash. If you need me later for your meeting, let me know, ok?” Twilight gives her a quick hug, and flies off to calm the town.

Rainbow Dash looks back down at you. She couldn’t see any obvious signs of sadness or depression, just what Twilight had said. You were shaken up. But not from the attack itself, you were just fucking pissed at the dragon ruining everything. That and the added curiousness due to Rainbow Dash’s meeting must have made you look rather off in her eyes. “Hey, Rockhead, you alright? I mean for real.”

Rockhead, it’s something she had been calling you since your training with her started. Apparently she had taken to some tradition that the Wonderbolts had in nicknaming their members silly and rather insulting names. And that was the name she had chosen for you, for obvious reasons. You took no offense to it however...Well, not since you started anyway. “Yeah, I’m alright. I just got really angry back there. Sorry if I seemed off, you know how it is. Some dragon ruins your perfect bowling game and you gotta go whack something with a bat…Namely the buttmunch who ruined said game.”

“So it was really that, huh?” Rainbow Dash lets out a gentle chuckle “Man, remind me not to get between you and a bowling ball, huh?” She gives you a very gentle and loving pat “So you really are ok? Not shaken up like Twilight said?”

You nod “Yeah, heh...I kind of feel bad scaring you both like that. But when you’re on a roll, you’re on a roll” You let out a chuckle that gradually gets weaker when you come back to the fact you failed at your goal “I am bummed out though. I was gonna be the first colt to bowl their first perfect game on the first try”

Rainbow Dash smiles at you, and actually feels she can empathize with that feeling you had. “Oh, so that’s how it was, eh? Yeah, now I totally know how you feel. I would have socked that dragon into a pulp if he did the same to me too. Sorry, Anon. But hey! You kicked a dragon’s butt! And everypony saw it! If anypony was denying the fact that a colt could be a hero, they can’t doubt it now. That’s good, right?”

While you had already been thinking of the pros and cons of your heroic deed, you hadn’t thought of the fact that you were indeed easily witnessed in your utter thrashing of that dragon. Oh man, that was pretty cool actually. Sure, you helped beat the Storm King too, but no one really saw that. This? It was right in front of everyone’s faces! Meaning the respect was guaranteed! You actually felt anxious on how everyone would react...and you kind of dreaded if it ended up being too much. You embraced your heroship, especially since Diamond found that a really attractive quality. But if it went to the levels of another fanclub war…Well, you were sure you could keep things under control.

“Yeah, that actually is pretty good.” Still...There was a few other things on your mind. “I just hope Aunt Fluttershy doesn’t get too worried about it.”

“Naaahhhh, you’ve been through much worse. She’ll be worried at first, yeah. But if we keep it cool, then things are gonna be ok” Rainbow Dash says, sounding confident that everything was going to stay calm.

“Yeah, I think so too. So erm, can I ask you a question, Rainbow Dash?”

“Sure, let me just…” Rainbow Dash lowers herself enough for you to get on her back “There we go, hop on”

You nod to her, and hop on her back as she kicks off the ground and begins to hover before making way to Fluttershy’s.

“Yeah, so. I heard Scootaloo is gonna be taking the exam too. What’s that all about? I don’t think it’s bad or anything, just curious.”

“Yep, she’s gonna be taking it too. I didn’t know she had been copying my training style, heck, I didn’t even know she wanted my training. We both kind of had a good laugh about that. She never thought to ask, she thought she had to prove herself first. Well, to tell you the truth, she’s pretty quick on her hooves, Anon. She’s gotten a lot quicker and stronger than before. Heh, I mean, that would just be due to her following my training regimine pretty good. But still, it’s really impressive either way. I told her the exam could be kind of dangerous, but she wanted to take it anyway. If you wanna know the truth, I think she can pass it with flying colors. And I want her to pass it, and by that, I mean slugging it as hard as you slugged that dragon. She really tries, Anon. I think it would be one of the most awesomest things ever if she managed to pass this exam with Captain Spitfire watching. You know what I mean?”

Yeah..that would be pretty...Wait. “So Spitfire is gonna be watching us too? For sure? Is that what Mr.Rich wants you two for?”

“I dunno what he wants us for. I know he paid for the equipment, but that was more through Spitfire than through me. Y’know, he paid Spitfire for the extra equipment I could use for you and that was that. The Captain was gonna watch the exam either way since she was interested in seeing you perform. Y’know, Hero Colt who helped kick the Storm King’s butt makes a pretty big impression when a whole team of pegasi wasn’t able to do it. But Mr.Rich? I dunno, I think he’s gonna turn it into a public event or something.”

A public event? Oh god, you hoped not. But given how much pride he had in you, that was actually a pretty good possibility. Which means Diamond was totally, for sure, gonna be there to watch you. You had to make sure to pass this exam, at any cost. Because that also meant, that if that was indeed the case, that the pressure was going to be on Rainbow too. If you fucked up, that was gonna make her look bad due to the fact she was training you. Considering what she’s done for you, you couldn’t fuck this up. “I see. Well, if that’s what it is, then I’ll make sure to put on a good show. You can trust in me, Rainbow Dash, I got this!”

“I know you do! You and Scootaloo are amazing foals, so I already know you both are gonna do fine! But uhhh...Let’s just focus on your Aunt first, alright? Just in case…”

You nod “Yeah…” God, you hoped she didn’t react too badly.

You both arrive at Fluttershy’s cottage.

When Rainbow Dash landed and let you off her back, you take the time to observe the family statues. Obviously, the statue with “Nymous” was no longer there. Rainbow Dash notices where you’re looking and gets a little worried for you. “Yo, Anon, you alright?”

“Oh, uhm, yeah.” You nod back at her and turn your head to face Fluttershy’s door “Just was remembering a few things.”

“Well you gotta get your head out of the clouds because I kinda want to approach this in a way that won’t make Fluttershy go nuts.” Rainbow Dash goes silent for a moment for a quick pondering before she looks back at you “...And I got nothing right now.”

You shrug “I mean, we can just tell her. I know she’s extra sensitive when it comes to my well being, but come on! After dealing with the Storm King, a dragon should be nothing.”

“Anon, she treats you like you’re her kid. I’ve seen her go nuts over even tiny stuff when it comes to you.” Rainbow Dash informs you

“Like what?”

“Well, yesterday, when I was telling her about your final exam, I kind of mentioned this one part with sandbags swinging left and right. You know, to smack you around if you don’t time your run right, and she nearly cancelled her trip to see the Breezies to try to dismantle the whole obstacle course and try to get me and Spitfire to give you something ‘nicer’.”

Really? Over sandbags? Although… “I mean, you’re right, that’s pretty overprotective of her. But if it meant cancelling her trip…”

Welp, you said it. You really did want her to see you pull off the exam. And you didn’t care if Rainbow Dash knew that.

But she didn’t scold you like you expected. In fact, why would you expect her of all ponies to scold you for saying that? She wasn’t Twilight or the other princesses. “I mean, if it wasn’t so important, I would have maybe found a way to get her not to go. Yeah, I guess that’s why you were looking at the statues. It’s a total bummer that she won’t be here to see you tomorrow, but keeping a whole species from falling apart is kinda a big deal.”

Hm? “You’d do that for me, Rainbow Dash?”

“Sure...erm, y’know, it’s not so bad to have the support of your paren-err, Aunt.” Rainbow Dash says as she turns her head to hide her compassionate expression. You really didn’t expect those words out of her, it was like she had some kind of personal experience with it. Maybe she did, Scootaloo has mentioned to you that RD’s parents are pretty cool. But you knew nothing about that. “So yeah, I guess there could have been something that happens, in which I’d so happened to be involved, to get your Aunt to stay...And...yeah” Rainbow Dash’s expression goes from a cocky one to one of compassion, she felt bad for you. “Sorry, Anon, but hey. Your friends are gonna be there, and that still counts, right?”

You nod “Yeah” You then give Rainbow Dash a quick little hug “Thanks, Rainbow Dash. That really means a lot to me”

“Yeah, yeah...I know” Rainbow Dash doesn’t push you away, instead embracing you in that hug for just a quick moment “I’m pretty great, but let’s not get too mushy, ok? Let’s just get it over with. Ahrm…” Rainbow Dash looks to Fluttershy’s door, and gives it a knock “Yo, Fluttershy! You got a minute?”

The door doesn’t take long to open. Fluttershy opens the door with a cheerful greeting, but she seems a little tuckered out and dirty, what the hell has she been doing? “Oh! Hello, Rainbow Dash. How are you today? And oh, Ano- Oh no…” Fluttershy began to frown “It’s about tomorrow, isn’t it?” Fluttershy began to pout as she looked away in shame “I’m really sorry about that, you know that, right?”

GAH! NOPE! You rush over to Fluttershy and give her the biggest hug you could “Nah! Aunt Fluttershy, it isn’t about that! Nope, not even worried about it anyway! Come on, it’s just a training exam, that’s all. What you’re doing is super important, alright? I get it, I’m mature enough to understand super important duties.”

“Anon…” Fluttershy hugs you close “You’re such a mature colt. You have such a big heart, you know that?” You could hear her nearly stutter on those last words as she hugged you, she must have really felt bad about missing this.

“Aunt Fluttershy… You’re the greatest!” You couldn’t help but nuzzle your head into her. Goddamn it. She never, if barely, ever referenced the fact you used to be human. You were a colt, first and foremost, in her eyes.

“Welp, Fluttershy, I can already see that you’re in a much better mood now...so...erm…” Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her head with her hoof as she looked around nervously “How do you feel about the fact that Anon had fought off a dragon today from destroying Ponyville?”

“Oh, that’s just wonderfu-WHAT?!” Fluttershy suddenly goes wide eyed as she accidentally squeezes you tight enough to choke you “WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!”

Rainbow Dash could see you choking, and points to you to get Fluttershy to notice “Fluttershy, erm…”

“W-what? OH NO!” Fluttershy let you go, but then she started checking over your body in frantic fashion “Did he get hurt?! Are you hurt, Anon!?! Did he claw you?! Did he burn you?!” Fluttershy then looks to Rainbow Dash “How did this even happen?!”

Rainbow Dash leaned her head back with a heavy sigh, she definitely saw this coming. “The dragon just showed up. But Fluttershy, come on, relax! Did you forget who your nephew is? Did you forget who trained him? And do I even have to mention that weapon around his neck? Anon sent that dragon packing! He totally saved Ponyville from becoming a giant barbeque.”

Fluttershy looked to you, her eyes shimmering with worry. “A-Anon, did you really save the town?”

You give her a soft expression as you gently move her shaking hooves away from your person. “Yeah, I stomped that dragon like he was a parasprite.” You give her a cocky grin “You should have seen it, he didn’t stand a chance.”

“Yeah, it was pretty cool. Anon sent that dragon spiraling into the horizon. That guy ain’t coming back after that, that’s for sure. So relax, alright? You already have enough on your plate.” Rainbow Dash reassures her.

Fluttershy takes a moment to take a breath, and calm down to assess the situation. She gave you one more look over, and she could see you hadn’t suffered a single injury. She then gently brushes her hoof over your mane as she takes a moment to relax herself. “I’m so sorry, everypony. I’ve been so busy getting ready for my visit with the breezies and how all that would go that I guess I got a little jumpy.”

“Heh, you’re always a little jumpy, Fluttershy. Just relax, alright? Anon handled it like a pro. You should be proud of him.” Rainbow Dash says, as she looks to you with pride. “I know I am”

“Oh, I am proud of him. Very very proud. I’m proud of him every day, actually.” Fluttershy looks to you with a gentle smile “And I guess I really was acting a little silly. But gosh, beating a mean ole dragon by yourself? And you said he just showed up?”

“Well, Rainbow Dash said that. But yeah, he just showed up. The bowling alley is gonna need to be rebuilt but, everypony got out ok and I made sure that dragon is gonna think twice before he decides to come back to Ponyville again.” You say to Fluttershy with a bit of an arrogant sense of pride.

“Oh, Anon...I’m just glad you and everypony else is ok. Anon…” Fluttershy gently rubs your cheek with her hoof as she looks into your eyes with a deep sense of love and maternal care “Anon...I love you so much. I’m so glad you’re able to take care of yourself better and able to protect everypony too. I really am so so so proud of you. I know it may not look like it, but I really do sleep easier knowing how strong you’ve become.”

“Aww, come on, Aunt Fluttershy. I’ve always been tough! You’re acting like I’ve always been a softie or something. Heh, ever since I came to Equestria and got to know everypony, I always had this feeling I had to protect everypony.”

“I know...I just remember some of the older days. Things like that nasty Queen Chrysalis or that horrible chimera. Seeing you now, I know things would have been different if how you are now was how you were before.” Fluttershy says.

Ugh, come on now...Don’t mention her… “Yeah...Well, erm. You’re right, I am a lot tougher now, if you put it that way. So...erm, are you ok now?”

Fluttershy nods “I am, thank you both for coming to see me, and telling me about the dragon attack.”

“Hey, no problem, figured it’d be better to tell you now before you left. That way you wouldn’t think that something happened to Anon if he wasn’t around to confirm it himself...Or, y’know, you just getting super scared about hearing from somepony else about that stupid dragon coming in and wrecking the place.” Rainbow Dash says.

“Oh dear, I don’t know how I would have reacted if that happened. Hmmm...Oh, well now that everything is alright, would you two like to help me make sure everything is packed? I was just making sure I had everything in order before I leave.” Fluttershy said as she looked to the two of you cheerfully.

Rainbow Dash however, seemed rather hesitant for something that sounded so boring “Uhhhh, aren’t you going to just see the breezies? How much stuff do you actually need?”

“Oh, quite a bit actually. Although I am going to see the breezies, I will be interacting with a few other species too. It’s very exhausting work and I need to make sure everything is in order. See?” Fluttershy points to a bunch of ridiculously small beds, foodstuffs of various kinds, a bag of bits, some musical instruments, and some other shit….What the fuck kind of trip was this?

“Aunt Fluttershy? What’s with the beds and instruments and stuff?” You ask

“Well, some of the animals the breezies accidently made angry are nocturnal. So, the little beds and soothing music will help calm them down during the day time, and then I’ll speak to them at night. Don’t worry, eventually I’ll get everything settled in just a few days and I’ll be back before you know it.” Fluttershy sure seemed confident about that.

“Yeeeeeeahhhh, well, I got stuff to do...Kinda important for tomorrow. So since I’m done here, erm, seeya!” Rainbow Dash said as she quickly made her way out the door.

“Oh!” Fluttershy giggled “It must be really important to make Rainbow Dash run out that fast, although…” She whispers to you “I know she can just be really lazy sometimes when it comes to something she thinks is silly.” Fluttershy then looks to you with her eyes closed, her smile ever warming. “So Anon, do you want to help me make sure everything is set and ready to go?”

How could you say no? “Sure, Aunt Fluttershy. Besides, the more time I get to spend with you before you go, the better.”

“Anon, awww, you make me feel like I’m more important than I am. Thank you, though, for staying to help. Oh, I know! After we’re done, I’ll make us both some delicious smoothies and some chocolate chip cookies! How does that sound?”

Oh baby! That sounded awesome! “Yeah! That sounds great! What flavor will the smoothies be?”

“Do you remember the healthy herbs and food Zecora taught me to make to help you heal?” Fluttershy says.

wait..WHAT?! NOOOPE! “U-uhhh..e-ermmm..”

Fluttershy let out a cute little laugh as she kissed your forehead “Oh Anon, you’re so silly sometimes. I was joking, I was thinking it should be a strawberry smoothie. What do you think?”

O-oh god...Thank christ. Heh..Oh Fluttershy, you can be so adorable sometimes….and yet scary...god, you still remembered how shitty that gruel tasted. “That sounds perfect.”

The next few hours would be quite the contrast to the last few. Calm and pleasant as you and Fluttershy sift through everything she was going to take and making sure it was all packed properly. Double checking, triple checking, and even quadruple checking to make sure nothing was missing or misplaced.

“So, when will you be back, a week? Maybe two?” You ask

“Oh, probably about five days to a week really. That is, if everypony is willing to be reasonable and listen.” Fluttershy says as she finishes securing one of her bags.

“Oh…” That was a little too long for your taste, and Fluttershy notices that is disheartened you so.

“It’ll be alright, Anon.” Fluttershy puts the bag down and walks over to you to give you a gentle hug “It won’t be too long, and I know you can handle yourself without me. Besides, I know you have other friends who can keep you company when I’m not around.”

“Well, yeah, I know. I just like being around you sometimes. You’re one of the few ponies I know who help me feel calm and relaxed.”

“What about your marefriend?” Fluttershy gives you a poke on the nose “Doesn’t she do that for you too?”

Yes...Sometimes...when she was doting over you mostly. “Yeah, I guess so. Erm, so then…” There was one other thing you wanted to talk to Fluttershy about. You had wondered what she thought about Twilight’s school. “So what do you think of that friendship school Twilight is having built?”

“I think it’s wonderful” Fluttershy cooed with a heavenly sigh “Everycreature from across the world learning about friendship? It’s one of the most amazing things ever. And I can’t wait to teach them all about kindness, love, and care. And I can’t wait to have you in my class, Anon. I’ll be able to teach you all kinds of things within a group that I couldn’t just by myself.”

Oh shit! DAMMIT! YOU DIDN’T KNOW SHE WAS GONNA BE A TEACHER! HOW DID YOU MISS THAT?! How could you miss that? Ugh…

“Oh...erm...About that, I kind of declined Twilight’s offer to go.” Fuck man, why did you have to ask for her opinion? You couldn’t even look at her as your ears drooped down from the shame of disappointing her.

“You did? Why?” Fluttershy looks to you with some worry, but not as much as you thought she was going to have. She just seemed more curious as to why you said no.

“Because, I felt a school isn’t really a place to learn about friendship. Y’know, in a practical sense. I feel it’s something you just learn naturally. Plus, I’ve made so many friends already, and even reformed quite a few of them...Except for Stygian, that was a bit of my bad on that one.”

Fluttershy stared at you silently for a moment, then gave you a nod “I respect your decision, Anon. Those are actually very fine points you made. And truthfully, you really have improved since we first met. And reforming Tempest? Oh my, I remember how absolutely mean she was when we first saw her, she was so scary.” Fluttershy then let out a little bit of a giggle “Maybe we should ask Twilight to make you a teacher then. I know you don’t really like the idea of the school, but you do seem to have a way of reforming ponies who just seem really mean and rude.”

“Haha! I guess I...wait…” You as a teacher?! NOPE! You’re not gonna deal with a bunch of dumb kids. Not no way, not no how. “Is that a joke?”

“Yes and no.” Fluttershy has a little bit of a giggle when she notices you get a little frantic “It is a nice thought. But I know how you are, I know it’s not a thing for you...hmm” Fluttershy looked up and across the archway to her kitchen. “How about those smoothies and cookies, hmm? We are pretty much done, and I know my animal friends will help me super duper make sure I’m ready.”

Fuck yes! Just the promise of delicious cookies was enough to get that friendship school out of your mind. “Sure!”

“Alright, let me just...Oh?” Fluttershy’s ear perks up when she hears a knocking at the door “I wonder who that could be? Oh, it might be Pinkie Pie. She probably forgot when I’m actually leaving and came to say goodbye.”

But as Fluttershy got up to check the door, your ears perk when you hear the frantic callings of Diamond Tiara. Diamond? What was she doing here? “Future Aunt Fluttershy! Are you home?! Is Anon home?! I need to speak to him! Right now!”

Right now?...oh boy...What happened now? The way she was sounding, it made you scared that something bad happened...or something bad for you, anyway.

“He’s here, what ever is wrong? Are you alAGH!” Fluttershy jumps back the moment she unlocks the door as Diamond dashes in, darting towards you as if she always knew where you were.

“HIAUNTFLUTTERSHY!” Diamond yells as she rushes towards you, grabs you, and rushes out the door with you “BYEAUNTFLUTTERSHY!”

Fluttershy can only blink as everything happens before her eyes in a near quick flash.

“Gyah! Diamond! Diamond!” You yell as she already has you over the bridge, your back being dragged across the ground by her unusually high strength.

“Huh? Oh!” Diamond stops and let’s you go. She then helps you up and brushes off your back. Despite all this, she was still filled with energy as to whatever the fuck just happened. “Sorry Anon! But something amazing is going to happen!”

Something amazing? “Erm...isn’t the fake wedding at the end of the week?”

“Yes, it is. But it’s not that. I heard you defeated a dragon this morning, something I know I don’t need to ask you since I already know it’s true. And do you know who also knows that?” Diamond looks at you with a snooty but lovestruck smile.

Who else would she really care about knowing unless it was her parents her some princess? “Well, you probably know that Twilight knows...So I’m going to guess your parents, right?”

Diamond let out an adorable little giggle as she taps her nose with yours “You’re always so smart, Anon. That’s right, both my parents know! And that’s why I came to tell you something, because that something is pretty big! Like, totally big!”

Uh oh...Maybe you publicly crushing that dragon may have been too much after all. Because if it involved Spoiled, then it involved something that if it didn’t meet her approval or standard, everyone suffered for it. “So, what is it?”

Diamond looks around, then looks to a set of bushes. “Silver Spoon, are you still there?”

Silver Spoon pokes her head out from the bushes and nods her head “Uh huh, and theres nopony around since you went to the door. So it’s totally safe to tell him.” She says as she hops from the bushes to join Diamond. Oh god, and it’s supposed to be secret too?! What the hell can it be?!

“Errr, totally safe to tell me what? What’s going on?! I mean, I beat a dragon. I know that’s cool and-” Diamond cuts you off as she hops up in excitement.

“YOU MEAN TOTALLY AWESOME! Oh, I wish I could have seen it for myself.” Diamond swooned.

“I know right? Imagine if you were stuck in a tower, and that Anon came to rescue you after he beat that dumb dragon” Silver Spoon says, inciting Diamond enough for her to let out a long doting sigh.

“I know...It’d be super romantic. Oh!” But she snaps out of her love filled haze and looks to you, still smiling, but she also looked rather serious. “So that thing? That secret thing? Well, do you know how you’re doing your final training exam tomorrow? With Spitfire and Rainbow Dash.”

You nod “Yeah...why?”

Diamond looks around, and starts to get giddy “Well, Mother thought it’d be a great idea to make it a Barnyard Bargains sponsored event! With limited tickets and benches and all that stuff! We don’t even have to do any mass advertising since your dad has been running around town telling everypony about how you beat a dragon and that you were his son. I mean, we knew that last part, but it helps let everypony know that it’s you, I guess. Mother is personally going to be inviting her friends for tomorrow’s event! My Anon, the amazing hero colt! The youngest ever to be trained by an element and the Wonderbolts!” She looks at you with dreamy eyes “Ohhhh, is there anything you can’t do?”

Oh no...Spoiled, what the fuck?!

“Erm...Yeah, I do do a lot of stuff. Erm, what do you mean by your mother’s friends by the way?” She had friends?

“Oh, you know, just ponies Mother knows that she wants to rub in their face that she’s the future mother-in-law of the greatest colt in Equestria...You” Diamond says as she tenderly rubs the side of her face with yours.

“They are gonna be sooooooo jealous when they see Anon pass that test like a pro!” Silver Spoon adds, her voice full of smug.

Diamond looks back at her with a nod “Well, they should be. They always try to one up Mother, so this will really show them who is the best! Which would be us! And you too, Silver Spoon, since you’re my best friend.”

“Oh, you don’t have to tell me that. I already know I’m the best since I’m best friends with the greatest filly in Equestria.” Silver Spoon says with a bow “Future Princess Diamond Tiara”

Diamond Tiara giggles as she raises her hoof towards Silver Spoon “Arise, Lady Spoon, you needn’t be so formal. I mean, that’s for everypony else to do...towards us I mean.”

They both started giggling towards each other. But you felt horrid dread fill your soul at that very moment. Tomorrow was going to be a lot worse than you could ever imagine. Now? Now you couldn’t fuck up ONCE! You weren’t even worried about the fucking crowd. You were more worried over the fact that Spoiled was putting her social status on the line over your fucking final exam! If you screw up…

“Erm, Diamond...What would happen if I screwed up? Just asking.” You were near white at this point.

“Oh, that would be pretty bad...Erm…” Diamond pondered on it a bit before looking at you with a cheerful smile. “She’d probably ruin your life so bad that you wouldn’t even be able to show yourself in the badlands...But why are you worried about that? You’re Anon! You never mess up!” She said with ignorant cheer.

You didn’t know how to feel. Dread? Scared? Mortified? Hell, maybe you should have just fucking stalled the dragon until Twilight got there. Or fucking disintegrated the fucker and told her that it flew off. This was worse than Snips and Snails. Oh so much worse…

Fucking Discord. He had to get some glory out of this, didn’t he? Running around the entire fucking town singing of your praises just so it’d make him look good. UGH!

You suddenly felt a lack of confidence in passing your exam tomorrow. Hell, it’s one thing screwing up, you really didn’t want to see Spoiled’s reaction if the crippled pegasus whooped your fucking ass.

You needed emergency training. But without the horn, you had no way of locating Rainbow Dash or creating a quick training exercise to get you focused. You needed to get some sort of quick warm up training to make absolutely sure you were ready for tomorrow.

You needed to make sure you had no way of fucking any part of that exam.

You needed something tougher and more dangerous than that exam to make sure you were at your best.

You needed...Starlight.

“Diamond, my princess, my love...I need to go!” You say, feeling panicky and frantic.

“What?! But I wanted to go out with you so we can go get some ic-” Diamond stops when you give her a quick peck on the mouth “Err...ok…My prince” She says with a drunken giggle.

“Wait! Anon, where are you going anyway? Oh, I guess you were doing something with your Aunt, right?” Silver asks, absolutely making sure for Diamond that you couldn’t be THAT busy.

“err..Yeah, and then I had this other big thing...which was…is...for tomorrow’s training. Super important!” You tell Silver Spoon as you slowly step backwards

“Oh! Yeah, that totally is a good reason. You have to be super ready for tomorrow. Just make sure not to tell anypony what we told you, alright? If anypony found out the reason my Diamond’s mom is doing this, then well...QRRRK” Silver rubs her hoof along her neck to signify death.

How comforting…

“G-got it, take care you two… I love you, Diamond!” You say as you rush off.

Diamond just looks over to you with a smile “...O-ok...wait!” She calls out to you frantically as she snaps out of her stupor “Anon! Wait!”

You stop dead in your tracks near Fluttershy’s door and look back at her “What is it?”

“I LOVE YOU TOO!” She yells back at you from the little bridge.

You just smile at her, salute, blow her a kiss, and frantically dash back inside.

Fucking...dammit.

You never get a day of rest.

Returning to the cottage, you explain to Fluttershy that you had to go for “Training Exam” reasons, and that you could not wait for the cookies or the smoothie. She didn’t take you too seriously at first, stating that there was always time for delicious snacks. But you stress that tomorrow was going to be much worse than you could imagine, and then explain to her what was going to happen.

Fluttershy was caught off guard. She knew how scary it was to perform in front of a crowd, especially in the kind of situation you found yourself in. She nodded and finally understood why you had to leave so early, she also mentioned that she’d have a talk with Discord about his bragging across the town.

You really didn’t want this to be the last moment you’d see Fluttershy for awhile, but this really was important. So with a kiss, a hug, and a loving goodbye, you make your way out of cottage and towards the little bridge. It seems Silver Spoon and Diamond had already gone, probably to respect your privacy with your aunt and to let you focus for tomorrow. Oh boy, you were gonna need all the focus you could get.

Using your map, you transfer to your room and quickly go for your portal door. You shift the dial to Starlight’s town and make your way to her home.

Things had vastly improved over the course of time. The town was now a cross, with the town hall in the center. There were more residents, more greenery, and the overall health and happiness of the town was at an all time high.

Except for the fact that mayorship seems to change within every month or so. No one in town wanted or felt worthy of the title. Sure, there were still elections and some did try to lead the town. But it always ended the same. They quit the position, leaving Starlight to do a bulk of the leading until the next election. She didn’t mind at this point, but she still wished someone would at least take the job seriously and stick with it.

When you reached Starlight’s house, you started knocking on it as calmly as you could. You didn’t want to give her a reason to be on edge or freak out. But the one to answer the door wouldn’t be her, rather it was Trixie in some sort of business suit and top hat. Was that performance wear? Where was the leotard?

Trixie Lulamoon, what a trip she was. Although she had her wagon parked in the back of Starlight’s house, she preferred to live in her home rather than in the wagon itself. Though, she sometimes flips flops on that for some reason. Given the fact she could still be overly smug and cocky, you personally felt that you’d go mad being stuck with her for weeks on end. Still, Trixie was cool in small doses.

“Ah! Anon! What timing! Come and be amazed at the new leader of…” Trixie stops when she realizes something “This place still doesn’t have a name...Ahrm. Anyway! I will change that! For I am the Amazing and Ever Honorable Trixie!”

WHAT?! “G-guh..w-what?!” THEY ELECTED HER?! Your mouth hung open from the utter atrocity of it all.

“Ahh, I can see you are astounded and paralyzed by the utter greatness Trixie exudes!” Trixie gives you a smug grin as she closes your mouth for you with her hoof “Just the reaction I wanted to see.”

“A-a-ahrm..erm..Umm” What do you even say to that? “C-congratul-Ok, wait. How did this even happen? Aren’t the elections still going on?”

“...Yes...But..Erm” Trixie’s bravado began to wane heavily “Considering I am willing to keep the position, I’d like to think that I have a good chance of winning. W-what do you think, Anon?” She was suddenly looking at you for comfort in her endeavor.

“Erm…” She was never going to get elected, you already knew that. She was still much too arrogant and kind of a jerk at times to do that. But, you sigh, give her a smile, and nod at her “I think you’re going to do fine.”

“AHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Trixie breaks out in victorious and boisterous laughter “Trixie is truly the best! Step aside, Anon! Trixie has foals to kiss!”

Foals to kiss? That’s so...cartoonish. It nagged at you enough to stop her. “Wait, Trixie! Erm...What about your policies for when you win? They're good, right?”

Trixie stops, blinks at you, then chuckles “Even if I knew what that was, Trixie has no time for that! Don’t bother me, Anon. I’m busy! HAHAHAHAHA!” She walks off laughing near maniacally to herself.

You just silently look at her as you shake your head. Poor poor Trixie. Though, you too were busy, weren’t you? You rush off inside the house, and call out for Starlight.

It took a bit, but Starlight emerged from her basement wearing safety goggles. “Anon? Hey! Wasn’t expecting you today, what’s up?” She says as she puts the goggles to hang on the wall.

“Starlight, hey...Erm, this isn’t exactly a social visit. I kind of need help”

“Help?” At first she was confused until she realized what you could mean by that “Oh, right. Your training exam. Why do you need my help for that? Last I knew, there was nothing magic related to the test at all.”

Well, at least she was on the same page. “There isn’t, but see…” You explain to her everything that has transpired so far. From the Dragon to Spoiled Rich.

“So...let me get this straight, now you have to do more than just pass to impress your future mother-in-law, or else you’ll embarrass her in front of the other elite ponies, which would mean she would be so upset at you that she’d find some way to ruin your life forever. Did I get all that?” Starlight asked, rather calm about it.

Because at this point, you were looking pretty worried. “It’s more than just that. I’m also competing with Scootaloo! If she even comes close to beating me, I’m going to look like a total loser! I mean, I should be able to stomp her no problem. It’s not like she can...Wait…” Scootaloo wasn’t some rando pony you could easily stomp. Nor was she someone you’d love to show up like Sweetie Belle. This was Scootaloo, who, despite your own stupidity sometimes, has stuck with you through thick and thin and has always...mostly been able to see your side of things whenever you looked like the bad guy.

“Anon, are you alright?” Starlight asked as your expression became more dreadful and even frightening. You were suddenly staring right at her.

Suddenly, you began screaming at higher octaves when you realized one horrible little thing. You then rushed over to Starlight, hopped up, and brought her head down by grabbing at her ears. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I ACTUALLY LIKE SCOOTALOO AS A FRIEND! STARLIGHT! I CAN’T CRUSH HER IN FRONT OF RAINBOW DASH! SHE’S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH! AND SHE BELIEVES IN ME! AHHHHHHHHHHH!” You suddenly grab onto your own head as you also realize… “BUT I CAN’T LOSE EITHER! NOT WITH EVERYPONY WATCHING ME LIKE THAT!” Before Starlight can even recover, you grab her by the ears again and pull her down “BUT SCOOTALOO WILL BE SAD FOREVER!” You then go back to grabbing your own head “BUT I CAN’T LET HER SHOW ME UP!”

Before you could grab onto Starlight again, she lifts you up with her magic and gives you a heavy shake. “Anon! Anon! Calm down! You’re acting loonier than Trixie right now!”

“BUT!...But…” You calm down as she shakes some sense into you. When she puts you down, you look down in shame and worry about tomorrow “How am I supposed to handle tomorrow now? Ugh...Why couldn’t one of those two idiots be in the exam instead? I could have easily ran circles around them.”

“Ok, Anon...What exactly is going on now?” Starlight needed you to calm down so she could figure out what the hell you were talking about.

You look down, sigh miserably, and look to Starlight, your face representative of a broken soul. “Like I said, I need to pass the exam tomorrow with flying colors to make sure I don’t ruin my future mother-in-law’s reputation. But my friend, Scootaloo, she’s been waiting for a moment like this all her life, to prove herself. See, she’s going to be taking the exam too, and it would mean the world to her to pass it in a way that would impress Rainbow Dash.If she was anypony else, I’d have crushed them. But her? Starlight, I just can’t do it. She’s been through enough already.”

“Wow...Erm…” Starlight looked over to her kitchen, then back at you. “Ok, so I think I see where this is going. You’re asking for my help to figure this all out, right? To make sure you pass while also making sure your friend looks good.”

“Yeah...Originally, I was going to ask you for some warm up training. You know, throwing magical bolts for me to dodge and stuff. But now? I dunno…I don’t even know why I came here anymore. I had been looking forward to crushing this thing for awhile, And I still do, I just need to figure out a way for Scootaloo to manage that too without it making me look bad.” You had to figure out a way.

“Well, I was going to suggest a drink for us to sip while we figure it out. But uh...Why don’t you just tie with her?” Starlight suggests.

….wut? “Holy...How...How did I not think of that?!” HOLY FUCK! IT’S SO SIMPLE! HOLY SHIT!

“Well, that’s what stress does to you. It gets you so worried that the simple solutions don’t seem so simple. And as soon as Trixie gets that, maybe I’ll be able to make some coffee again.” Starlight says

“Yeah, I can’t believe I didn’t think about that at all. I could still crush the exam, all I have to do is slow it down in some parts to let Scoots catch up. She’s pretty athletic, you know? She shouldn’t have…” Wait… “Coffee? What, she broke your coffee maker or something?”

“She did, when I was teaching her a better version of “disappearing” that didn't have to do with a smoke bomb. She somehow accidentally sent a magic bolt right into it, turning it to scrap. But that isn’t the problem, the problem is that she’s really insistent in trying to fix it for me. I already told her it was alright, but she keeps trying anyway. Her last repair job ended up bursting into flames. Right now? Kinda afraid to turn it on.” Starlight tells you, as she glances towards the kitchen again.

“Oh...Why doesn’t she buy you a new one?”

“Because she barely has any money as is and I didn’t want her to waste it on me. Ugh, I know, it’s stupid of me, but I couldn’t let her just go and pay for a replacement with what little she had. I just kind of wish she’d stop trying to repair it...Because, y’know, I have the money to get a new one.”

“...So, why don’t you buy a new one?”

Starlight sighs again “Because it’d upset her. She’s trying really hard to make it work, I don’t want to upset her by buying a new one.”

“Well, erm. I guess you’re kinda in the same shoes I am in that regard. So, why not try it now then? Maybe this time she got it.” You ask Starlight.

“I dunno...It’s all set though…” Against her better judgement, she sighs, gives in, and puts faith in Trixie once again “I guess I can give it another shot.”

“Yeah, come on, I’ll even check it out with you. It can’t be that bad.” You say, calmer now that such an easy solution had been found. Man, were you glad you were human, or else you’d probably spent twenty two minutes trying to figure out the solution yourself and telling Starlight how stupid that plan was.

You and Starlight step into the kitchen. She walks towards a rather shabby and kind of dubious looking Coffee Maker and brings her hoof near the on switch. “I don’t even know why Trixie doesn’t test her attempts at fixing this thing herself.”

You shrug “Because she probably assumes it’s fixed...Y’know, because she’s great and powerful and all”

“Yeah...That’s probably it” Starlight braces herself and prepares to turn it on “Get ready, Anon, I have no idea what’s going to happen when I flick that switch.”

You get ready to duck your head, there was no way you were going to get hit this time. “I’m ready, go for it!” God, you were putting faith in Trixie. But with Starlight’s situation kinda sounding the same as yours in some way, you felt oddly generous enough to give her a chance.

“Ok, here I go!” Starlight flicks the switch and produces a magical barrier around herself.

At first it sputters, causing you both to duck. But after that…

“Wait…” You hear it, it was the cool and calming sound of fresh coffee pouring into a cup. “Starlight. Starlight! Look! It works!”

“W-what?” Starlight opens her eyes, and see the coffee maker pour out a simple cup of coffee “No way...It works. Wow, I...Really didn’t expect that.”

“Heh…” That was a sign, you were sure of it. Put your trust in your friend, and do right by them. That’s totally how you planned to do things tomorrow. “There you go, it looks like you’re going to have no problem getting your coffee now, eh?”

“Yeah, and I’m sure I can fix that sputtering it made when I turned it on. Wow, good job Trixie! Ok, well, I guess I can have a cup now since it all worked out. Let me just turn it off and OOH!” The moment she flicked it off, the coffee maker’s nozzle somehow came loose enough to shoot hot coffee at an angle, smothering the entire top part of your head with burning liquid.

“Anon!” Starlight magically pulls the plug to get it to stop. “Ohhh, that’s not good. I-I think I can fix that myself, actually. But, Anon! A-are you ok?!” She looks to you with heavy worry, she could see steam coming off the top of your head. “Anon! I’m going to get the first aid, alright? That coffee can really leave a nas-” But you stop her as you calmly put your hoof up.

Yup, it burned like an asshole. But you were so used to shit hitting your head at this point that this was fucking nothing. “Yeah...don’t even worry about it. Can I just take a bath, get this gunk out of my mane?”

“A-are you sure? A-anon, there is steam literally coming off the top of your head.” She was stunned, both by the possible burning you were feeling and how well you were taking it.

“I’m sure…” Ugh...Always...ALWAYS...something.

“O-ok then...erm, the bathroom is right there, next to the stairs to the basement.” She points, still utterly shocked.

And so you went, calmly and with humiliation, to take a cold shower.

However, when you came out of said bathroom washed and refreshed, the humiliation you felt was no longer there. You had time to think about what’s really important. Also, you couldn’t remember the last time you took a bath, period. It was like just coming and going from your room mostly kept you clean. Or maybe it was some sort of oversight from some deity above, who knows…

Either way, you felt much better now.

When you stepped out, you noticed Starlight messing with her personal taser. “Starlight? Whatcha doin?”

Starlight notices you, and puts the taser down on a table with her magic. She looks at you with a gentle stoic look “Just messing with my taser. Don’t really get to use it much since things have been pretty peaceful, so I like to take it out sometimes and give it a quick examination. I know it’s unlikely, but if a threat did show up and I had to use it as a last resort, I’d rather it not malfunction in some way. Oh, so...How do you feel? Are you alright?”

You nod, giving her a cheerful smile “Heck yeah! As if a simple blast of blazing hot coffee can stop me! Although, I was still interested in getting some reflex training in. I have to be at my best tomorrow, so if I want to be impressive for Spoiled while making sure Scootaloo can keep up, I’m gonna need all the help I can get.”

“Sure! I don’t mind helping you with that, especially since tomorrow is so important for you. So, what did you have in mind for this training anyway?” Starlight asked

“Easy, I want you to hit me with everything you got.” You tell her, ignorant of what that could actually mean.

“Uhhhhh…” Starlight looked surprised, and looked at you as if you were biting off more than you could chew “Anon, you totally definitely do not want that.”

“Why not?” You ask “Starlight, I’m much better thanks to my training. Plus, even before that, I have the reflexes of a master gamer! I can handle whatever you throw at me.”

“Yeah...I saw those reflexes when that coffee shot out at you, which you had time to dodge out of the way, just mentioning.” Starlight raises her hoof and shakes it to further signify how much of a bad idea this sounded to her “Anon, you really don’t want this. I’m an extremely powerful unicorn, you should know that. You’re going to get hurt”

“Starlight, this is the only chance I’m gonna get. This isn’t just for me, It’s for Scoots. Also, I wasn’t in the zone when that coffee shot out. This time? I’m totally in that zone! Trust me, with my superior physique, I’ll be able to dodge anything and everything you got!”

“Anon, I cannot stress this enough…” She starts using both her forelegs to emphasize her following words “You-are-going-to-get-hurt”

“Starlight, I need you to trust me on this, ok? Besides, why do you even think that? I had a major part in beating the Storm King, remember?”

“I remember some mention of you getting clobbered up and down until the very end, or something like that.”

Oygh, that one hurt. “Y-yeah, but just like with the coffee, he caught me super off guard, and that was before my training too. Starlight, come on! I’m not a kid...mostly...sort of! Look, I’m super sure I can handle it. So just don’t hold back, and just hit me with what you got, alright? I’ll just focus on dodging.” You do your best to recover from her words and look at her with gathered confidence “Come on, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“Oh boy…You don’t want to know” Starlight says with a cringe as she goes over her more dangerous spells in her head

It looked like she still wasn’t willing. You could try pouting, being cute, and saying “pwease”....but oh god, she’d lose respect for you, you know it. You needed something to fully convince her.

You only had one more thing you could think of. “Starlight, I’m serious. You’ve met Scootaloo before, she has a lot of hope in her heart, and is putting her livelihood on this. I can’t let her down...So please?” You stare into her eyes, with a half serious, half begging look. “Help me? So I can make sure this all goes down ok, please?

“Oygh, you’re guilt tripping me...But…” Starlight groans as she finally gives in “I guess you’re right...It would be hard to balance showing off and helping Scootaloo if you weren’t prepared. But again, seriously? Are you sure you want me to go all out? I can hold back some, you know, I shouldn’t have to try to incinerate you just so you can get the training you need.”

“I’m su-...Wait…” Did she say… “Incinerate? What?”

“Yeah, that’s what I said. Or did you forget I was willing to do whatever I needed to achieve my old goal? Including having to fight Twilight if I had to. My most powerful spells are nearly undodgeable, Anon, you won’t last. I could have just said yes and not actually tried my hardest, but then I know you’d complain. Plus there is the fact that I do respect you as my equal, enough to actually go all out. So again, one final time, do you want me to hold back? Or do you really REALLY want me to go all out? Because unless your skills have improved that much, you’re gonna get blasted pretty hard.” And she sounded pretty damn serious on this too.

You gulped, this could end up being your end if she respected you enough to really give it her all upon your request. Should you do it?

Should you…?

You have taken beatings before…

But you were planning on dodging everything…

Do it, and don’t look back.

You redouble your bravery on the matter, and nod at Starlight. “Let’s do it!”

Starlight couldn’t say a thing at first. She looked down, let out a breath, got up, and started heading out the door. “Follow me then, I want to be a good distance out of town before we do this.”

And so you both went, travelling out of town a good distance enough that it was just a blur in the horizon, both you and Starlight surrounded by the empty desolation of the rest of the mountainous region. With only a few rocks, boulders, and canyon walls scattered about to set the scene.

Starlight looks at you with a serious glare as her horn lights up. She stands just a few yards away, ready to give it her all. “Last chance, Anon, unless you’re absolutely sure you can handle this, then I suggest we tone it down, alright?”

You couldn’t tone it down. Besides, at this point, it wasn’t even about you or Scoots anymore. Starlight was so damn sure this was beyond you, and during your walk, you built up an absolute need to prove her wrong. “I can do this, Starlight. Bring it on! On my mark! 3…2…”

Starlight looked more than prepared to fire on the word “go!”. But despite her saying she was going all out, as she did plan to, she also did have enough hard to dodge spells that, while high level, were actually pretty safe. She had a pretty quick spell that could encase her target in magic crystal. She was thinking of hitting you with that to get you to realize how foolish you were being.

“1...go!” You immediately rush to the right to try to throw off whatever Starlight was about to fire. But Starlight was ready for you, she fires a laser shot right where you were going to be.

However, your reflexes were, in fact, sharp enough to catch that she aimed towards your direction. You jump forward and above her beam. But suddenly, your lower body gets stuck in some purple crystal roughly twice your size. “G-Guh?!” You try desperately to get out, but to no avail, you were stuck. “What is this?!”

“Gee whiz, Anon, you sure dodged that, huh?” Starlight looked to you with an arrogant smirk as she approached you, and then flicked your nose “I told you you couldn’t handle me at my highest level. This is a powerful concealment spell. Really really hard to learn considering I don’t even need to make a direct hit for it to work. So...” She sighs, and looks to you with a frown “Do you see what I mean now? This is just reflex training, Anon. My strongest spells aren’t going to help you learn anything, ok? So let’s just tone it down like I suggested.”

“Ngh! No! That was just...NGH!” You were struggling to get free “A lucky shot! I can do this! I know I can!”

It wasn’t just the fact that Starlight didn’t believe you could do it, it was something else too. You had been training so hard, to be something more than just a guy with a deus ex machina at his command. You wanted to be able to win fights with your wit and skills alone.

“Anon…” Starlight shook her head “Come on, please, it’s over.” She didn’t even want to continue any more. She wanted to help you, but not while you were being persistent like this.

“It’s...Not...OVER!” With all your will, strength, and even luck, you manage to bring yourself down, grip the ground with your hooves, and flip yourself and the large stone over, nearly crushing Starlight.

Starlight teleports away as she witnesses you bring the stone down hard with your body, shattering it to pieces. “What in the…” Starlight was astonished, she didn’t expect you to be able to do that with just your front hooves.

“I told you I could do it! Yeah! OH YEAH!” You jumped up above the crystal rubble with pride. You then looked to Starlight, more ready than ever. “Come on! I’m still willing to go!”

Starlight had to admit to herself, that was somewhat impressive. “Alright, I didn’t expect you to manage to flip yourself like that, but if that isn’t enough to stop you.” Starlight starts to glow as she raises into the air, looking down at you with an almost sinister glare “Then I’ll have to really up my game!” By that, she meant mostly hitting you with a multishot stunning spell. She wasn’t willing to use explosive projectiles or straight up lasers just yet. “Take this, Anon!”

You witness Starlight bring her head back and swing it forward, launching a shitton of electric balls down towards your position.

Ok…maybe you went in a little over your head this time. “Shit…”

You start darting around the arena, doing your best to dodge every shot that came down near you. You jumped to the left to dodge one shot, then cartwheeled to the right to dodge a few more before backflipping to dodge a particularly humongously large electrical orb. You were diving,rolling, spinning, tumbling, and jumping away from every shot that came upon your vicinity. The worst part of it all was that Starlight wasn’t relenting. Sure, you originally didn't want that, but holy fuck! This really was too much! The truth was that this spell actually didn’t use too much power at all for a unicorn like her. They were magical orbs that simply stunned for a short while. They were being shot out in a ridiculous pace to compensate for it’s less than stellar power. Hell, their trajectory was random as her horn spit them out. But you didn’t know that.

Starlight was actually impressed even further. Despite you screaming for her to stop at this point as you had become fearful of blowing up like she had suggested you would, you were in fact dodging her randomly fired orbs. She knew, if she wanted to, that she could hit you with something like a laser shot or a focused explosive blast. But this was merely training your reflexes, and it looked like it had done its job in preparing you for tomorrow.

Fearing for your life at this point, you jump behind a boulder, duck your head, and hope to god Starlight wastes her magic on whatever the fuck she was doing. Starlight does stop after some time, but you didn’t notice as you continued to hide. Starlight has herself quite a giggle as she slowly lands to the ground and heads over to the boulder to tell you the good news.

To her, and hopefully to you, you did well enough to dodge her randomly shot blasts to consider it a job well done.

You fucked up, goddammit! You were the one who asked for her to go all out, but you didn’t fucking expect her to fucking toss a million death orbs. You thought it was just gonna be lasers and simple projectiles, but she became a fucking shmup boss!

“Anon…”

But you were intact. How? Even you don’t know. All you knew was that you somehow dodged ALL of her attacks up until you ducked behind this boulder.

“Anon, hey!”

Fucking dammit, how could you hide here anyway? You were the fucking Hero Colt! You shouldn’t have gotten scared at all. You have more resolve than that! Fuck that noise! You were going to step back out there and try challenging Starlight again!

You turn around and take one step forward, only to come face to face with Starlight herself. You squeal, jump on top of the rock, and enter a battle pose “Came to finish me off, huh?! Well, I’m ready for you this time!”

Starlight’s face twisted into aggravated astonishment “Really? Anon, get down here, I’m not going to try to hurt you.”

“...Oh” Well, ok then. You slide down the boulder and look to Starlight with an embarrassed look “Erm, look...I know I hid like a wuss...but erm...come on!” You let out, trying to sound justified in your feelings “You were tossing danmaku at me like it was nopony’s business!”

“Danmaku? Is that another human term?” Starlight asks, confused as to what you mean.

“Yeah, it means ‘bullet hell’. Basically a ton of projectiles being tossed out that are super hard to dodge.” You explain “I mean, it really was super hard...I’m surprised I didn’t get blown up. Sheesh…”

Starlight hesitates to add to that for a moment as she gets a rather underhanded idea to make sure you wouldn’t get the confidence to try her at her best again. “...Oh yeah, it was the most powerful spell I had too. If any of those orbs touched you? Pffssst! Gone, finished, turned to dust! BAM! Just like that.” Starlight stomped her right hoof to emphasize her point.

Wait...WHAT?! SHE WAS SERIOUS ABOUT THAT INCINERATION SHIT?! “What?! You mean if I got touched once, I w-” But she cuts off your words to finalize the point herself.

“...Would have been utterly destroyed into nothingness? Totally. But…” She puts her hoof on your shoulder as she gives you a suddenly sweet smile “You managed to dodge every single orb. Sure you hid, but you were really moving it out there before you did. I was really impressed.”

Wait...so yeah, you were still alive. And you were diving and juking and all that against the orbs until you felt you were overwhelmed. That meant your reflexes were pretty fucking top tier! “YES! I KNEW I WAS THE BEST!” You then looked to Starlight with confidence borderlining arrogance “Alright, Starlight, let’s do it again! This time, I want you to, like, shoot lasers at me! I need something faster!”

Starlight was perplexed. She expected you to back down to safer magic, not to ramp it up. She thought you fearing her spell was the tipping point in getting you to see reason. “Anon, you nearly blew up! And you want to make it worse on yourself?!”

“I mean, now that I know I have godlike reflexes, yeah! I need to make sure I’m really good to go here! Two lives depend on it! So come on already!” You run ahead of Starlight, about twenty yards, and beat your chest with your right hoof “BRING IT ON! YOU AIN’T GOT NOTHIN ON THIS!” You then turn around and smack your butt at her.

All she wanted was for you to understand.

All she wanted was for you to realize there are limits, and that you dodging that one spell was already impressive.

She just needed you to understand there was no reason to risk your life over something that didn’t require such a dire sacrifice.

She just wanted to be of help to her good friend, that’s all. She wanted to make you happy, which would have made everyone you knew happy, which would have made her happy.

But now she was pissed at your arrogance, and your obsessive attitude. She knew you had gotten better since Chrysalis, that you picked your battles more wisely, and that while you still obsessed over your friends, such as Scootaloo, you did manage to have more control. But holy crap, did it go all out the window the moment you became cocky as fuck.

Starlight gave you a dark glare as her horn began to glow “So, you want something fast and hard, right Anon?”

You nod “I do, and I’m not gonna hide this time! Everypony is going to see how truly great I am at a physical level!” This rush, this feeling! Maybe it was because of the audience you were going to have. Because proving your physical prowess? It felt more fulfilling than you initially realized. You thought back to the bowling game… That one last roll. This exam would be the end to that perfect game.

“THEN TAKE THIS!” Starlight suddenly fired a straight laser beam right at you with pure raw anger.

...Shit…

You quickly dive to the right as the laser zips past you along the ground, creating a geyser of raw magical energy that surges through the dirt. Ok...Maybe you should have listened to Starlight. “Uh, Starlight? I think SHIT!” You jump forward when you noticed Starlight had teleported above you and shot her laser directly downwards towards you. You could only look on as it just kept going through the ground, cutting through it like butter...Up until it started to come towards you. Starlight was hovering towards you with the laser closing in like a fucking satellite beam. “STARLIGHT, WAIT!”

But she wasn’t listening. “WHAT’S WRONG, ANON!? TOO HOT TO HANDLE?! HUH!” She shouted in rage as she began to chase you down with her laser. You were running for dear fucking life, but she was unrelenting with her pursuit of you. This was now no longer reflex training, this was an endurance test. One in which failure meant imminent death should you tire out and slow down.

“STARLIGHT! I KNOW YOU’RE MAD! I DON’T KNOW WHY! BUT COME ON! I MEAN, WE CAN GO KITE FLYING! THAT’S CALMING! YOU WANNA FLY A KITE?!” Oh please! Let that work!

“SURE! AFTER I USE YOUR BONES TO FINISH FIXING THAT COFFEE MAKING MACHINE! WHAT WAS THAT QUOTE YOU TOLD ME ONCE?! SWIGGITY SWOOTY! I’M COMING FOR YOUR BOOTY!” She said with dark laughter as she started to close in

You started to cry as your endurance waned “OH GOD! STARLIGHT! YOU DIDN’T EVEN USE IT RIGHT! GOD, I’M GONNA DIE! I’M GONNNAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

And so, you failed to elude the laser and got hit on the backside. But it didn’t hurt, it didn’t even sting. Instead, you found yourself in helpless laughter as it tickled along your backside. ‘HAAHAHWHATSTHEHAHAHA?!STHAHAHAP!”

Starlight landed beside you, and looked over you with victory in her heart as she kept her laser on you. She finally had you, and she wouldn’t stop until you ended your crusade. “Ok, but only after you agree to stop. I think we’ve had enough training today, and you did good enough for tomorrow.”

“OHOHOHOK! HOHOHOK! JUSTHAHAHAHA! STHAHAHAP!” You screamed in ticklish laughter from the ministrations of the merciless laser. You had to get it to stop, it was fucking torture!

“Yooouuu suuuuureee” Starlight said in a sing song way, sweeping the laser side to side along your belly as you rolled about.

“YEYSSAHAHAHAHAHAPLEEEASEHEHAHAHA” You guffawed

Starlight finally ended her magical tickle assault as she nodded to herself with satisfaction. “Good, because it’s getting late anyway and I’m hungry.”

You had to lay there as you slowly stopped giggling. God fucking dammit, she got you good. That laser wasn’t going to kill you at all, it just tickled. Wait, so did that also mean…

You sprung up and pointed an accusing hoof at Starlight “You went easy on me the whole time!”

“What?!” Starlight was actually offended by that. Not so much to your accusation, but rather the fact that you still seemed on this whole 'BEST' sthick. “I did not! That orb attack really was a very powerful spell! How many unicorns do you know that can pelt that many orbs! Hmm?!”

“Yeah, but…” You relented for a moment, pulling your hoof back. But wait, that sounded like there was some implication that it wouldn’t incinerate you! With that in mind, you point your hoof again. “But you lied to me! I wouldn’t have died from those orbs at all!”

“W-well...no” Now Starlight began to back off. But then she had in mind that you were being an idiot, and so she called her courage back to finally set things straight. “But I had to tell you that! The way you wanted to train was suicide!”

“No!” You plopped on your butt as you crossed your forelegs, acting as if you knew it’d be safe “I know how this all works. Like I’ve told you before; In my world, this was a TV show. And it is pretty 'TV Y' around here, that means child friendly by the way. Sure, you’re strong, but I think none of your magic really would have hurt me that much. The worst it would have done is sent me flying some, thats all. And a tickling laser? Now that’s just insulting, I’m not a little kid you know! I mean...sorta? But not really! Ahrm…” You calmed down as you cleared your throat “Case in point, your magic isn’t really lethal, and you had no reason to go easy on me.”

Starlight groaned at you as she put her hoof to her face “Ugggghh! Anon, one! That orb spell worked as intended! It was a high level spell that is, for a fact, ridiculously hard to dodge and hard to cast too. And you dodged it! That should have been enough! And two!...Er….” Starlight suddenly looked sheepish as she tapped her hooves together “...That didn’t start as a tickling laser…”

Wut? “What? So what was it at the start then?”

“Yeeeeaaahhhh, I kinda got really angry, because you were being dumb, so I sort of focused all that anger...And...errr.” Starlight noticed she had chased you around in circles, so the original point of impact for when she first fired and when she fired from directly above was still closeby. “See that ditch? That was from when I first shot the laser, which you probably are right, you would have been blown back.” But then she points to the hole from firing the laser from above “But then there is this hole here. You would have been a doughnut if you got hit….Errr...So yeah, you kind of made me a little angry.” Starlight chuckled nervously “I mean, you did ask for it.”

Oh god…

Your ears droop downwards as you realize just how close to death you really were. “Ahaha...ha” You weakly chuckle “Yeah...Let’s call it a day. U-Ummm...You wanna get some coffee?”

“Y-yeah..” Starlight said, a little scared of her own power. But when she saw how scared you were, she softened up and got worried for your well being “Anon, are you alright? I’m really sorry for losing my cool back there.”

“I-I’m fine…It’s ok” And just the same, you realized you were being an overbearing asshole in not listening to Starlight’s warnings “Starlight...I’m sorry for being an absolute shitbag.”

“I don’t know what means...But I assume you mean a jerk, and yeah, It’s alright. It’s ok…” Starlight sighed as she walked closer to you, and let you lean to her side. That really escalated quickly, and you just wanted some comfort, so you took that as an invitation to nuzzle your head into her.

And so you both returned back to the house as the sun began to set. There was still coffee in the pot from when the machine was first turned on. You both took a cup of coffee, sat at two different chairs facing in front of each other, and just sat there, drinking. The air was tense, the room was silent, it was really eerie.

Then, you finally said something. “Starlight.”

Starlight looks back at you with an expressionless stare “Yeah?”

“I don’t really wanna say this, because I know it’s insulting, but…” You hold your cup of coffee up towards her “This coffee is really bad.”

Starlight nods as she puts her cup down “I know, Trixie really didn’t do a good job at all.”

“Yeah…” You almost instinctively wipe your tongue with your hoof “It tastes like ass…”

Starlight sits there, ever silent without a response for a moment. Then suddenly, she points at you with a smile “I KNOW THAT ONE! IT MEANS BUTT!”

HOLY FUCK! SHE REMEMBERED! “FUCK YEAH! THAT’S AWESOME, STARLIGHT!”

“Yeah!...I still keep forgetting what 'fuck' is. I don’t even think you’ve explained it to me. The last time you mentioned it, you asked me if I had fucked Trixie yet. I mean, maybe? You would know, it’s your word.” Starlight was so damn confused now.

It made you laugh, it made you laugh that she said fucking 'maybe'. All that dread and distance you felt towards her just washed away as you went up and hugged her in a giggly yet sad haze. Sad because...Well, that was pretty fucking scary.

Starlight was stunned that you came to hug her at first. But then she felt relieved. She knew, that thanks to this hug, that everything between you and her was ok now. And it happened over something so silly. The word “Fuck”, whatever that meant.

She then realized, at least to herself, what “Fuck” meant. “Anon! I figured it out!” She said in giddy excitement.

Hmm? You look up at her, curious. To you, you thought she meant about the current situation, which you felt needed no figuring out. It was just natural friendship after all.

But then she said it. “You and me, we fucked! We fucked hard! Sure it was rocky with what happened, but then we fucked it out! We just needed a moment to fuck to get it all sorted. It’s a good thing too, I was scared we lost our friendship for a moment. But thanks to a good fucking, we worked it out!”

Oh god, that wasn’t even funny to you. You were just looking at her like you were horrified.

“What? What’s wrong? I got it right, didn’t I? Fuck means to understand each other, or something close to that, right?” She really was confused, because that was dead wrong.

“Er, Starlight. You’re one of my best friends and one of the few who know the secret to my true age. So, I’m just gonna say what it is, and hope it doesn’t break your head.” Oh boy, here we go.

“What is it? It can’t be that bad.” Starlight was curious, she couldn’t understand how she could have gotten it so wrong.

“Ahrm, while the word itself could be used to put an EMPHASIS on something. It also means, and this was context you technically used it for, as was when I mentioned Trixie...Yeah, erm..How to put this...It means, since I’m a guy, putting my peepee into your, you being a girl, pee pee hole....Multiple times” You look to Starlight with an extremely meek smile.

Starlight just freezes in place as her right eye twitches, then finally, with an exclamation that you swear could be heard by god himself, she lets out a mighty “WHAT?!”

She knew what THAT was, she just didn't know that's what the word "fuck" meant. And she was mortified on how you could say a word so freely.

Lordy...

Man, with that kind of reaction, you doubted Starlight could get used to any human words that were lewd or insulting. Starlight herself asked you why humans seemed so vile and gross with their wordplay. You explained to her it was just how humans were, and not all human words were like that. You tried explaining a few other words, but it didn’t take. Hell, she thought the word “ass” was insulting to donkeys. But then, there was something else.

“I mean, take the word ‘bitch’. It’s used to insult somepony, but all it means is female dog. It’s like, a quick version of an insult.” You knew it was a little worse than that, but that was the safest explanation you could give without her having a negative reaction. “It’s also commonly used in the phrase ‘Son of a bitch’...And that’s about it. Oh! Wait! It can also mean something is really hard to do.” You explain

“Female dog? And it can mean that too, huh? That doesn’t seem so bad. I mean, definitely better than ‘fuck’...egh. Anyway, that’s definitely the nicest human word out of the ones you told me. I have to say, Anon, humans do seem really extreme. Even their words are pretty intense. Even the meanest ponies wouldn’t go saying words like that if they knew those were the meanings. I don’t even get the word ‘cunt’. I mean…” Starlight blushed in embarrassment just mentioning the word “it’s just a natural part of a mare. I just don’t see how that’s an insult. Humans are weird…” Starlight takes a moment to calm herself from her embarrassment and leans on her side as she looks out the window “...And yet, I admit, kind of fascinating too. Making flying machines out of metal? That move at mach speeds? If you weren’t my friend, I’d call you a liar for sure. Although…” Starlight takes a look at the horn hanging from your neck, she suddenly had this wanting and near hungry look “If you could whip up a blueprint, I wouldn’t mind looking it over myself. That kind of speed, I think, would be beneficial to everypony in Equestria.”

The way she was looking at you, you could tell she just wanted to see it for herself. Despite her reaction to human words, Starlight did seem to have an attraction to human tech. To her, it was the equivalent to high level magic in the form of machinery and technology.The taser was her first ever experience with human tech, and while she was fascinated with it, she didn’t let herself become overwhelmed by the want to see even more of what humans had to offer, but she always kept a secret desire for more of their technological designs, and therefore would ask about something on the here and there.

This was the first time she actually asked for a blueprint though, so it was obvious her curiousness towards human tick was definitely faltering. “Sure, but I kind of used my charges for the day, so you’ll have to wait when I can cast a spell to make one appear. Why are you suddenly so interested, anyway?”

“I admit, from some of the stuff you told me about, like computers,automobiles, and satellites. Airplanes are something that sounds like it requires more of an understanding of magic rather than technological skill. There’s no magic I can think of that can make a construct meant to hold that many ponies and transport them long distances at super speeds.” Starlight explains.

But that did confuse you on something “How are computers not more magical than airplanes?” To you, you always felt that would have been the thing to grab her attention.

“Because, while it sounds impressive, management of files and folders can still be done physically. Long distance communication is also possible through various means. And then you mentioned games, which I think the way you described Discord’s use of magic to create an entire world to play in ‘Ogres And Oubliettes’ already means we outclass that too. So eh...But airplanes? Now that really sounds like something” Starlight explains, and while sounding ignorant to you, did give her a pretty strong point on the most basic of levels.

You just shrug “I guess, but computers are still really cool and makes a lot of what you mentioned pretty convenient. But whatever, you want plane schematics? I can make that happen. But…” You give her a cocky little smirk “You gotta do something for me”

Starlight suddenly feels uncomfortable as she looks back at you “And that is?”

“Oh, not much” You get up from your seat and walk over to her, looking up at her as you wiggle your eyebrows with cool sensual arrogance. “I just want to see if you can handle a word even worse than ‘Fuck’ “

“There’s a word worse than that? I don’t believe it. That word alone is one of the most disgusting words I’ve ever heard, how can it get any worse?” Starlight asks, fearing that may have been a question she shouldn’t have asked at all.

You lean your head up closer to hers “Is that a deal then?” Oh baby, you really wanted to see how this was gonna go.

“...Anon…” Starlight looks left and right, then out the window to make sure Trixie nor any other pony was nearby “...You can really get me those blueprints?”

You nod.

“Ok…” Starlight takes a moment to prepare herself. She takes a few calm breaths and sits down at the ready “I’m ready now, I won’t let myself be surprised this time.”

“We’ll see, because Starlight…” You lean in a little closer “The word is ‘Motherfucker’...And it’s exactly as it implies, mostly used as an insWAHHHH!”

You had little time to actually explain the word, as when it hit Starlight’s ears, her eyes went wide as she looked at you with an intense stare as she screamed. And this scream? Holy shit, the entire house shook, causing pictures on the wall to fall, and glasses to tip over. “WHHHHAAATTT?!”

Well, you got your reaction. While her initial scream spooked you, you started to laugh hard when you saw from her face how utterly bewildered she was. Even her mane came apart and flowed downward from her surprise, as if hearing the word caused her mane to die and go limp.

But Starlight wasn’t laughing. She rose up from her seat and began yelling at you from her surprise. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?! THAT’S A WORD!? ANON, THAT’S THE MOST DISGUSTING THING I EVER HEARD! I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCKING HELL! HOLY SHI-...” Starlight suddenly plopped down on her butt as she looked straight ahead, hoof to cheek, surprised at herself “...Oh my gosh...I’m yelling human words now…That’s not good…”

Holy fuck! Now that’s hilarious! You just kick and sputter in wild laughter, twitching and taking deep breaths when needed.

“Ha ha...Very funny…” Starlight used her magic to toss a pillow at you while she groaned, annoyed with both you and herself “Humans are sick, sick creatures, I swear.”

You do your best to hold in your chuckles as you poke your head out from the pillows. “Hehe, come on, Starlight. It’s just how we are.” You hop out of the pillows and give her a gentle hug “Don’t be uptight, nopony is forcing you to use those words.”

“I know, it’s just surprising to hear them at all...Especially coming from me.” Starlight lowers herself to the ground, placing her chin on the floor as she looks ahead, eyelids halfway down, and with a stoic look. “I couldn’t imagine living there...Or worse, being from there. I could only imagine a human version of me being a crazy loon who would...ergh...Massacre others just to make examples of them.”

“Aww, come on, Starlight. Don’t get depressing now.” You hop up on her back, rest your head on hers, and reach down with your hoof to boop her nose “You’re Starlight FUCKING Glimmer, the most powerful Unicorn I’ve ever seen! Plus you’re fun, understanding, smart, kind... Hell, I’m super glad to be your friend.”

“Heh, so is Trixie...” Starlight lets out a small chuckle “And everypony else in this town.”

There’s a small amount of silence for a moment. You decide to cuddle your head onto hers, making her feel loved enough for her to use her magic to give you the feeling of gentle and loving headscratching on your noggin’.

“Well, it’s getting late. Trixie is gonna be back soon and she’s gonna spend half the night telling me how close she is to being elected mayor.” Starlight says as she slowly stands, letting you hop off without hurting yourself.

“Yeah…” Actually, Fluttershy was going to be going soon. It’d be a good idea to see her before she left. “I gotta go see my Aunt anyway. Gonna be the last time I see her for a little bit.”

“Oh yeah, that Breezies thing. She’s gonna be back for your...Fake...Wedding...thing, right?” Starlight asks.

“She said she’d be back before the end of the wee...Oh man, I didn’t even think of that at all when talking with her! She didn’t mention it at all either. She probably didn’t want me to worry about it since I didn’t seem to be sweating it...Damn...I really do want her to be there, same with Discord.” Fuck, now you felt sad, you didn’t consider the possibility that she might not be back in time.

“I’m sure she’ll do her best to get back. Besides, you and Discord have crazy magic at your side. Why can’t one of you teleport her to where she needs to be, and then teleport her back when she’s done? That already saves a day.” Starlight suggests.

“...Woah…” You hadn’t thought of that “That can work. I’ll actually see if Discord is up for that...Well, he totally will be.” You begin to smile about the idea “He hates it when Fluttershy is away for too long.”

“There you go, problem solved.” Starlight uses her magic to summon forth a water ball made of the surrounding moisture and plops it onto the ground. “Just make sure it’s ok with her too. She’ll probably go for it, but you still need to respect her decision on it.”

“I will…” You say as you take out your map “Thanks Starlight, for the idea and the training.”

“It’s no problem. You take care, alright? And good luck with that exam tomorrow. And don’t forget the blueprints for when you visit again!” Starlight tells you with a genuine smile.

“I got it...So, before I go.” You give Starlight a sultry smirk “Since Trixie does live with you...Do you wanna know how two mares fuck?”

Starlight’s right eye suddenly bugs out and tremors as her horn explodes in magical light. “ANON!”

You let out a nervous chuckle “Ok...Gotta go!” Damn man, she was really sensitive about that word. Still funny though. But not funny enough to stick around for what could possibly be a asswhuppin’ on her behalf.

You fell onto your bed after falling through the portal, letting the map fall on your chest as you let out a heavy breath of relief. “Wow, she’s really touchy about that word. Maybe she really did want to fuck Trixie and was too embarrassed to admit it… Hot” You hopped off your bed and put away your map as you approached your portal door.

“Ahh, Anon! There you are!” You suddenly hear a voice from behind you. You look back to see Discord, dressed up in a shirt with your face on it, wearing a blue cap with the word “ANON”.

There you were? What about him? He had disappeared after the dragon attacked to go brag about you. “Yeah, I was busy. What about you, Discord? What’s with you bragging about me all of a sudden?” You really did have to wonder about that. Was it really to boost his own rep and ego?

“Well, I had two reasons for that. But I assume you already know one of them” Discord said as he walked over to your bed and plopped himself on it, resting his head on his arms as he looked back at you with his usual arrogant grin.

“Considering you didn’t do shit to help me, I don’t think you really deserve to be acknowledged at all for something I did.” He really didn’t, and then there was that thing with Mrs.Rich “And then there’s the fact that something is going on with my training tomorrow. Considering Mrs.Rich is involved, whatever that something is isn’t good for either me or Scootaloo.” And you slowly began to put it in perspective for yourself that the situation within itself is not good for you at all. “Discord, I know you don’t realize it, but you really screwed things up for me tomorrow.” And upon that thought, you also realized… “I’m actually upset at you.”

“Pffft! What?! I bet you didn’t even put any real thought into any of that until you saw me just now.” Discord scoffed, poofed behind you, and used the digits of his paws and talons to pull your mouth into a smile. “Well, if that’s the case, the second thing I have to tell you will be sure to brighten your evening!”

You swat his arms away as you look back at him, annoyed. “Yeah? And what’s that?”

Discord reached into his cap and pulled out a small gift box, a simple white box held together by red ribbon, and held it towards you. “Anon, you may not realize this, even after all this time, but with our friendship and our whole family thing, I have come to be proud of you whenever you pull of feats of valor, or make Fluttershy happy, or generally do something that makes us look good in general. But this? This was different. This gift isn’t even for defeating the dragon, no, it’s for your near perfect game of bowling. I admit, I did take in as much glory as I could for you defeating the dragon. But the way you handled the ball, the way you managed to surpass my own brilliant form of rolling the ball, without even the use of your horn might I add! That deserves a gift. I’m proud of you Anon, for your skill, for making Fluttershy happy, and for being my friend. So this is for you.”

You just raised an eyebrow at him “Yeah, no, that’s a trap”

Discord gave you a scowl, as if he was actually insulted, while still continuing to hold out the box “Don’t make me take this back, Anon. On this rare occasion, my word holds true.”

Ouch, the way he was looking at you, he actually looked really insulted. But you knew better, he was very good at faking his emotions if he really wanted to. “Sorry… Alright, let me see what this is” You took the gift box, acting apologetic as you slowly and cautiously removed the ribbon, and then lifted the box. You were prepared to throw it back at him at the slightest sign of it being a bomb. But upon taking a look, you saw not a bomb, but some sort of glowing orb. “What is that thing?”

“Anon…” Discord sighs, leans down, and puts his paw on your shoulder as he looks to you with a gentle and parental look. “Before I tell you, I really want you to know this. I truly, with all my heart, am proud of you. I’m afraid I haven’t been truly honest with you on that, I mean, how could I?” Discord lets out a weak chuckle as he says that “Our friendship isn’t of the normal sort, it lives and breaths chaos. But, for this moment, I must treat it as if I truly was your father. Now then, the true reason I’m proud of you, aside from the things I said, is the fact that you had saved Fluttershy’s life while I was away.”

Away? He meant during the Storm King’s invasion. But… That had happened some time ago, why does he now suddenly care so much? “I mean, I couldn’t let her get hurt, Discord. I couldn’t let anypony get hurt. Besides, it was a team effort too. And even then, it happened some time ago. I don’t want to sound like an ingrate or anything, but...Why now?”

“Hmmm…” Discord let’s out a tired sigh. “I suppose talking to Fluttershy while you were away has something to do with that. In truth, she already let me know that my bragging was rather obstructive when it came to your life, but it really was hard to resist letting everypony know how great my fake son is.” Discord shrugged “But… she let me know that it’s not about the glory, the renown, or anything like that. It really is about being proud of you, for all the good you have done. She had mentioned things she was proud of you for, from that Starlight pony, to being a major force of bringing down the Storm King. It made me think of what could have happened to Equestria, to you, and to Fluttershy during my time away. And it also made me realize that I truly hadn’t done enough for you in comparison for what you’ve done for me, Fluttershy… And I guess everypony else. Please, Anon, accept the gift. It’d make me happy to know that you accept it without any suspicion.” He sounded so genuine, so normal, so caring. This was a rarity, even for him. His voice shook whenever it mentioned Fluttershy, his fear of losing her causing him to shiver.

Alright...You’d do it. You reach for the orb and give it a tap with your hoof. The orb suddenly floats up in a brilliant white light, forcing you to shield your eyes with your leg. “Discord! What’s going on?!”

Discord rose up, arms outstretched as he announced the spectacle of the orb like a grand event. “Anon! Witness the power of this orb as it flows within you! Witness, feel, and become even greater than you are now!”

“What?! What do you mean by...OH SHIT!” You started to float up as the orb’s light began to envelope you. You tried kicking your legs, but at this point, it was no use “DISCORD! GODDAMMIT! FUUUUUCCCKKK!” Was all you could say as the orb’s brilliance silenced all sound, sight, and feeling.

You didn’t know where you were, when you were, or even if you still existed. All you knew was a form of white darkness.

“Anon…” You suddenly hear a voice.

“Anon…”

“It’s me, Discord. I apologize for the theatrics, but the orb, and indeed, this void of nothingness were merely a distraction. Now, don’t fret, what I had told you before is true. I just needed some actual time to properly create the gift I wanted to give you. You’ve been here for about an hour. Still plenty of time to talk to Fluttershy before she goes, so you needn’t worry about that. As for your actual gift, you’ll be happy to know that your horn has received an upgrade once again. Now, I’m afraid it’s still two charges like before, but this gift I have to give you should be more than adequate enough to match my feelings of pride for you. First, I have taken the map’s ability to take you home, and instead placed it into your horn. After much thought, it seemed more practical to give you the ability to return home at your will rather than pulling out a piece of parchment every time. Now, you still will need the use of water to make said portal, but still, it’s much better than having to rely on an item you may very well lose. The map still has its other function, so you don’t need to worry about that either.”

“Now then, on to the second and most important addition to your horn. While I still ultimately feel that giving you too much chaos power could lead to Equestria’s imminent destruction, having no power at all after your initial two charges has led to some bad times for you in the past. So now, even without a charge, the horn will be able to use the basic unicorn ability of telekinesis, along with the power to generate a decently strong barrier. With this little boost to your horn, you should be more capable of handling yourself, especially when mixed with the training you have received from Rainbow Dash. I love you, Anon, as my friend and my son. This is my gift to you, and I hope you use it both responsibly… And chaotically. Now, when you are done with your visit with Fluttershy, please return home, I’ve arranged a meeting with Mr.Rich. Nothing fancy, I just happened to be interested in his wife’s little project she hired over fifty workers for. Now then, it’s time for me to release you from this void.” Discord, his voice, you swear he nearly cracked with sadness during his speech to you.

As if waking up from a dream, the white around you began to dissipate as your consciousness began to return. An upgrade to your horn? You could now use very basic unicorn magic, even without your charges? That was actually pretty cool of him to do. And the portal thing? Yeah, after what happened with your adventure with Daring Do, that was definitely for the best. Discord was actually truthful for once. He cared that much. You knew he did, he’s shown it before, but to hear it all like that… What a guy, he truly was the best.

“Oh, and Anon, watch your head. You still happen to be floating.”

Wut?

And before you could even react, your vision returns to the confines of your room. And a split second after, the floor itself came zooming into your face, causing a really loud thud. Or in truth, you ended up falling down and smashing your face onto the hard ground below you.

You just groaned as you continued to look onto the hard, cold floor. “I’ll kill him...I fucking swear…”

You slowly stand up as you brush off both your mane and your childish annoyance at Discord. He just gave you an awesome sounding gift, so you could overlook his little trick this time.

But was he being truthful? Or was it really just a lie, with the punchline being yet another slam on your head. You hold up your horn, and eye it closely. “Hm, looks the same…” Then again, you doubt he was going to make any visual changes while it was off your forehead. “In that case…” You plop the horn on your head. But as usual, when it’s out of charges, it keeps it’s Sombra form, complete with the “Dark Magic” effect. And while you usually would have called it a trick right there and then, you decided to give Discord the benefit of the doubt. “Ok, Discord, let’s see if this works…”

You look around, and spot the drawers of your dresser. Those would be a great way to test the horn. You aim your horn at them, and try to focus on opening them all. You remember that you wasted a charge on telekinesis before, on Snips and Snails. So, in theory, you should be able to get this if the rules of the horn still applies to chaos and not actual unicorn magic.

The drawers, one by one, began to glow a sickly green. Woah, it was...It was actually working! You started to feel excited as drawers started to open and close at the mere will of thought. You began to smile joyfully as you then started to open and close them to a latin beat you had in your head. Holy shit, This was incredible! While you were creating the beat, you focused on your blanket, and brought it towards you in a way that made it compress and stretch into the shape of a woman’s torso. You then began to dance with it as the beat played on. “Ratata! Rambaba! Ariba! Ari-..Wait…” Suddenly the drawers stop and the blanket drops and folds onto the ground when you realize something. “I can manipulate reality twice a day, so why is this so great? God, I must have looked like a childish idiot.”

You take the horn off your forehead and head towards the portal door. You open it to Fluttershy’s cottage and step through it, coming face to face with her front door once more. Looking at it, and then up at the moonlit night, you realized that showing it off to Fluttershy would probably make her smile. Yeah! She probably would find it cute! That’d be a great way to open up your visit. So you put the horn back on your head, stand tall, and knock on the door. “Aunt Fluttershy! Are you there? It’s me, Anon!”

Luckily for you, it seemed she was still up. It wasn’t that late, but she did have somewhere to be tomorrow. “Anon? Oh! Let me get the door for you!” She said as she rushed to let you in. As the door began to open, Fluttershy’s adorably smiling face was waiting to greet you. “Good evening, Anon. I’m actually so so...so…so...so...so” She suddenly looked white in the face as she gazed at you.

“Aunt FlutterAGH!” Suddenly, you receive a face full of wooden door as she slams it shut on you, knocking you flat on your ass. “Ow! What in the…” As you rub your forehead, you notice the dark aura emanating over you. Right, she rarely ever saw you with the horn on without charges, perhaps she never really has, you couldn’t remember. But it did make sense that she would have been skittish to see you like that. No need to be upset, Anon, it's gonna be ok. You get up to knock on the door to let Fluttershy know what’s up, but she had already opened it before you could approach. It seems she had already realized what she had done nearly as soon as she had done it.

She was looking down at you with apologetic eyes. “Anon...I’m so so so so sorry, I didn’t realize you were wearing your horn.” She steps out, cautious that you could be angry or upset, and sits just outside the door, her voice becoming more sad and squeaky. “A-are you alright?” She really did feel terrible. She had heard how loud the thud of the door was against your hard head, and the sound itself was enough to make her regret her rash decision.

How could you be mad at an adorable face like that? You do a cute flip, give her an adorable grin, and trot and skip over to her with pride. “Didn’t even feel it, Aunt Fluttershy. And even if I did, it doesn’t matter, I know it was a mistake.” You then nuzzle your head under hers, and embrace her in a hug. “So don’t cry, ok?”

“Anon…” She holds in her tears, smiling warmly as she hugged you close. After the hug, she looked to you, retaining that smile as she gave your nose a peck. “There, just in case you needed a fix for your booboo”

You giggle at that, and waggle your tail as you look to her with your classic adorable grin. “Awww, Aunt Fluttershy, you know I’m a lot tougher than that now. Erm…” You look behind her. Through the threshold of the door, you could see she had all her bags in order and ready to be moved out. It was quite a bit to carry, so she obviously was going to have help to move them when she was ready. But it still made you worry, you look back to Fluttershy with a growing frown. “Ummm, Aunt Fluttershy, I know I forgot to ask, but are you going to be at my wedding thing next week? I know you’re gonna be busy with that breezie thing, and you know I won’t hold it against you if you do miss it. But, you know...I was just kind of wondering if you were gonna be there anyway.”

Fluttershy’s expression became lost as she looked to the side, she held her breath for a moment as she thought of what to say to you. “Hmmm… Anon, I know you won’t hold it against me. But I really do want to be there. To see you so happy with your little marefriend. I want to be able to have a glimpse to what your beautiful future will be like. And as your Aunt, it is my duty to be there.” She then let out a lamented sigh “...Just like it’s my duty to help settle this dispute.”

“Aunt Fluttershy, come on!” You look at her with a cheerful smile “Don’t get upset! If you miss it, you miss it, it’s not that big a deal. What you’re doing is much more important! I’m not even saying that either, you know that I can understand that the safety and stability of Equestria is super important!” You give her nose a gentle boop, your smile becoming more warming as you gaze at her “Really, I already know you’re going to do your best to get back. I even have this feeling Dad would immediately teleport you to where you need to be the moment he got wind that you were done. Aunt Fluttershy, please don’t be sad about it, don’t wrack your brain over it. You need to focus so you can get your job done, ok?” You gave her the sunniest smile you could to try and cheer her up.

She holds you close, and nuzzles her head upon yours as she lets out a little giggle. “Oh, Anon, you’re so mature and understanding. I’m so glad to have you as a nephew! And, hehe” Fluttershy covered her mouth with her hoof as she had herself a silly little giggle “And your marefriend will be so glad to have you as a husband too! I just have this feeling you two will make quite the pair. But oh, look at me” Fluttershy felt a little embarrassed “Thinking far ahead like that. You’re both still very young, you won’t be really married for quite some time. You better not grow up to be a little heart breaker now.” Fluttershy, in her heart, had faith it’d work out. She had no fear, despite her thinking of it as a cute crush, that the love between you and Diamond would never die.

“Aww, come on, I won’t. I’m one loyal guy!” Perfectly loyal...Mostly...Kinda Mostly… Dammit, you suddenly felt like someone out there was judging you. Could anyone really blame you for finding a ton of these mares cute or sexy? Still, the thought of Diamond being a little older, oh baby, she’s gonna be so damn hot. But before you let your mind wander to such things, you hop away from Fluttershy and begin to jump about, excited. “Oh, Aunt Fluttershy! Do you want to see what my horn can do now? Dad gave it an upgrade!”

“Oh, he told me he was going to do that. Sure! I’d love to see what it can do now...erm...He didn’t exactly tell me what it’d be though.” She looks left and right nervously, then back to you “It’s not to make things explode, right?”

Heh, that’s adorable that’d she think that...Kinda scary too. “Nah, just watch this…” You look around, you needed something to move around with your….oh, you got it. “Where’s Angel, by the way?”

“Oh, erm, he’s up in the room, asleep. Why?” Fluttershy asked, curious.

This has been a long time coming. “Oh...nothing, just watch.” You focus, and you focus hard, trying to imagine Fluttershy’s bed and the little rat that was on it. You didn’t hate him, he could be cool, but it was time to even things up with him. You struggled with your thoughts, hoping that you nabbed something as you feel a pull on your forehead. Did you nab him?

Well, as you look up to see Fluttershy let out a quiet gasp, you felt you were on the right track. You look to where she was looking at, only to see a sleeping Angel, hovering just above the rug.

“Anon, couldn’t you already do something like this? And, please be careful with him, please” Fluttershy said, circling Angel, ready to catch him at a moment’s notice...Dammit, you really wanted to let him drop. Maybe next time.

“Yeah, but see how my eyes are still like Sombra’s?” You ask her

“Mhmm, doesn’t that mean your horn has no magic at all?”

“Well, besides the magic it uses to do this effect, yeah. But now? I can use telekinesis and a barrier whenever I want! I haven’t really tried a barrier yet, but I think it’d be as easy as telekinesis, speaking of which.” You sigh, and gently place Angel on the couch without disturbing him. Whatever, maybe it would have been too rude to drop the ass while he wasn’t expecting it. “There we go.”

“You have so much control, Anon.” Fluttershy tilts her head cheerfully, happy and proud of your use of magic. “Erm, actually, I’d like to see if you could use that barrier spell too. You know how I am, knowing you have ways to stay safe always puts me at ease.”

“I could try. Probably is just as easy as having a thought about it. In fact, let’s give it a real test drive. Toss something at me, Aunt Fluttershy”

Fluttershy shakes her head, she didn’t like the sounds of that. She didn’t want to risk hurting you, barrier or no. “Oh no no, let’s not do that. Just seeing it would be enough for me.”

“Well, how do we know how effective it is without testing it? C’mon, Aunt Fluttershy! It’ll be alright, promise!” You felt pretty confident, If you can do telekinesis, then the barrier spell was going to be a cinch!

“Mmmmm…” Fluttershy looked down, shifting her eyes left and right as she gave it some thought. She knew you were right. How could she even know if it’s a good enough spell to protect you without a proper test? “...Ok…” Fluttershy walks over to her sofa, and takes a single pillow while avoiding waking her rabbit. She walks back towards you, and grabs the pillow with her wings, looking oddly determined as she starts to swing it around like a mace “I’ll give it a good swing, Anon. If this barrier is really good enough to protect you, then you don’t need to worry, you won’t be hurt one bit!”

Was she serious? Did little ole Fluttershy even think she could hurt you with a fucking pillow? You had to hold in a giggle, you didn’t want to insult her. Alright then… “Ok, when you’re ready, Aunt Fluttershy” You bent down and wiggle your butt, aiming your horn directly at her and preparing your barrier spell.

“Ok...Here...I...GO!” Fluttershy swings to the side, bringing the pillow down for a sideways smash. It was actually quite impressive, given the speed it was going.

“BARRIER! ACTIVATE!” You let out, not only to sound like a cool badass, but to focus on creating the barrier. However, before the last second the pillow hits, you see that the barrier magic doesn’t actually create a barrier, but rather an impenetrable shield three times your size directly in front of you.

But that wasn’t where the pillow was coming from...

“GYAH! Om-...Oh wait...Never mind.” The pillow hits your side, but it really doesn’t do anything. HOLY SHIT! YOU DIDN’T END UP HITTING YOUR HEAD THIS TIME! THANK GOD FOR FLUTTERSHY NOT BEING THAT STRONG!

When Fluttershy swung, her mane ended up in front of her eyes, blocking her view. When she brushed it back, she looked around, then back down at you to see the illuminated barrier, green in color, in front of herself. “Oh, it worked. Yay!” She cheered, ignorant to the fact that she actually hit you.

“Yep, I dunno if it’s supposed to be that way though. Dad said it’d be a barrier, but it looks more like a shield. It’s kind of cool though, it’s big enough to guard my front.” You start looking left and right, causing the magical shield to turn with you “Oh...That’s cool, it follows my head movemenGAH!” Then you looked down, causing the shield to spark a bright green shine when it touched the floor, releasing a small blast that sends you backwards into the wall and causes the shield itself to deactivate.

“Anon!” Fluttershy rushes over to you, picks you up, brushes off your face with her feathers, and puts you down. “Are you alright?! Speak to me!”

Well, the miracle couldn’t last forever. What was that? Three in the last fucking hour? “I-I’m fine, erm… I guess I better master using the spell a little better, huh?”

Fluttershy let out a sigh of relief as she gave you a quick gentle hug “Anon…” She let you go, and gave you a long worried look “Maybe if you do practice it again, you should wear some padded clothing, and some padded leggings, and a helmet, and some strong horseshoes, and protective goggles…” She went on like this for a little while. If she wasn’t so loving, you’d find it annoying. But sheesh, you were better than that when it came to magic. Just don’t look directly down, easily remembered.

There wasn’t much to the visit after that. You and Fluttershy talked a little more about her trip, but it was pretty boring to actually hear about. Sure you cared, but damn, it was all cutesy politics bullshit. She also spoke to you about your training tomorrow. She wished you good luck, to stay safe, and do your best. You know, typical motherly stuff.

And with a yawn, and a promise to come back as soon as she can, and of course the usual hugs and goodbyes, Fluttershy wishes you a goodnight. She did have to be up soon after all, and you didn’t want to keep her up for too long.

You left Fluttershy’s cottage. You had hope in your heart that she’d be there for your “wedding”, it wouldn’t be show appropriate if someone like her missed it, after all.

You head to the stream by her little bridge, and look into the water. “Uhh, how am I supposed to do this? Same way?”

Well, what else could you do? So, with little hesitation, you give it a shot and jump into the water, trying to focus on a portal.

It doesn’t work.

You end up in the cold water, it’s icy chill piercing your coat, causing you to shiver and shudder. Even as you crawl out and shake yourself off, you couldn’t help but chatter your teeth due to how chilly you felt. “G-g-g-oddammit, w-w-what went...wrong?” You look back at the water, confused and bewildered “He s-s-said it worked the same, right?! S-s-s-so why? W-what..D-do I have to shoot a laser or s-s-...” And just as you say it, your horn fires a laser into the water, revealing a portal to your room.

Your right eye twitches as your coat begins to warm up, then produce steam “Oh...That was the answer...WHY COULDN’T YOU FUCKING TELL ME THAT, DISCORD! HOLY SHIT!” You were red with anger. Really?! Now it requires a fucking laser opening...thing?! Why not just keep it the same! Holy fuck! That’s so damn dumb! “I swear to fucking god! When I...I…” You look around, again, who were you talking to? “Yeah…” You shake your head at your own foolishness “Nobody there...Ugh, why am I angry anyway? Just like with the freaking shield, I should have tested for some differences before hopping in. Right, ok, got it! Just meet up with Discord...And hope things go ok”

And with that, you jump into the portal.

Upon falling through the portal once more, you take a moment to calm yourself and warm up on your enchanted bed. Rubbing your body along your blanket like a cat. “Ok, ok...No reason to be upset. I just got these powers and I’m acting unreasonable about it. Don’t do that, Anon, don’t be a sore loser just because you haven’t mastered the mechanics yet.”

“Yes, agreed. If you got angry at me at all because you somehow couldn’t manage the most basic magic possible then I’d suggest a visit to our ‘favorite’ bug colony. I hear they provide excellent group therapy sessions for even the most pathetically natured being.” Discord said as he started to rise from your floor door, dressed in a red suit, a blue vest over it. He was speaking in a rather condescending tone as he looked to you with a smirk.

“Yeah, yeah…” You stand up on your bed and look at him, a little annoyed by his words and your own foolish shortcoming. “It was just tricky having to handle some low level spells, that’s all. I already have it down, so no problems. I mean, even then, you don’t have to be an ass.”

“Kind of hard not to when you’re audibly narrating your failure…” Discord continued act like a asshole, but then he took a few steps towards you, stopped, and gave you a warmer smile. “So then, with that out of the way, why don’t we go see Mr.Rich and find out what exactly lies in store for you tomorrow.” Discord holds his paw out towards you.

You just stare at it, then raise an eyebrow at him, looking at him silently as you grew suspicious of what he had in mind.

“Come on, Anon.” He wiggles his paw at you, getting annoyed at your inaction. “Just give me your hoof, I’m not going to rip it off or anything. How long have we known each other that you can’t just have faith in me?”

“I dunno, was there another draconequus who threw bowling balls at me this morning? Or caused this mess in the first place?” You say, in a way Discord actually finds quite mean.

“Well, that’s a little rude…” But then he chuckles to himself “Even if it was rather funny. Alright, Anon, you have my word. No tricks, no bowling balls, and no lies, on the honor of our friendship.”

You thought about making him promise on Fluttershy. But again, he gave you an upgrade on your horn, so pushing your distrust that far could honestly hurt his feelings if he was telling the truth. It’d probably be best to trust him, if only to use this moment as an example in the future should it be, in fact, a trick.

You place your hoof on his paw, causing you to immediately feel a pull on your mane. “W-what the?! Discord, you said-”

But he raises a single talon upwards to shush, closing his eyes as he then straightens his own vest. “I’m keeping my word, Anon. But this isn’t really a social visit, so I thought you should be dressed a little nicer for this little venture.”

“W-what, huh? Woah, I can feel my mane being pulled back, and getting kinda slick. And...Hey…” You raised your right hoof to see a blue sleeve. You now realized what was going on. Discord was slicking your mane back with his magic, and dressing you in an attire matching his, but with the colors swapped. You had to admit, you looked pretty good. In fact, it kind of reminded you of an ensemble you’d see in the south. “Oh, I get it. Isn’t it a little late to walk the walk though? Mr.Rich already likes us.”

“I know he does.” Discord clears his throat, and starts talking in a southern accent “But as a young southern Draconeequs, I feel that ah need to play the part proper. This is official business after all.”

“Heh, you sound pretty debonair like that actually. But I think I’m just gonna keep it straight. Why are we even seeing him again? It’s night, I’d think this could be saved til tomorrow.” You asked. To you, it did seem rather odd to still go to see him when it was this late in the day.

“Ahh, but then it’d be too late to see the fruits of his wife’s work. We’ve been invited for a sneak peek at the little ole’ obstacle course you’ll be runnin’ tomorrow.” Discord said as he opened the portal door to the town square. Odd, usually he’d just teleport you both to where you need to be. “Now let’s get a goin’”

Yeah, Spoiled Rich. Diamond had made it out to seem she was going to go all out to make you look good. Then why were you both even meeting with Mr.Rich? Why at the town square? And obstacle course? Geez, if it had to with her...Well, actually, you couldn’t think of what it’d be in terms of difficulty. All you knew is that the presentation would be top dollar. “Wait, so we’re not just going to teleport to him?”

“Nope. Where we need to go is outside of town, and in the direction he’s heading. And being the gentlecolt that I am, I’d rather, I say, I’d rather not spook the stallion none” Discord said as he nodded, and raised his head slightly to seem dignified as he slipped through the door.

Huh… Out of town, huh? How fucking big was this course? Well, you’d find out soon, you guess. “Hold on, I’m coming!” You say as you trot after Discord.

After you both pass through the portal door, you both wait by the fountain, awaiting Filthy’s arrival. “So...Discord, what do you think about the wedding. And be real with me, ok?”

Discord taps his nose, causing a white southern mustache and beard to grow out of his face. “Truthfully, Anon, I’m all for it. I normally abhor such things as I am not much of a believer of love. But that marefriend you have has such an attachment to you that if she had access to my home, she’d probably never leave. And that, to me, is quite precious.”

You let out a light groan “Because it stresses me out so much, right?”

Discord chortles a bit from that “A tad, Anon, a tad. But…” He walks up to you and pats your head “I can always see that you’re happy in her company...Most of the time. Your self control over your human side has been quite good when it comes to her, so it makes your actual relationship quite admirable. Besides, seeing Fluttershy happy at that wedding would be a definite plus...Ahrm…” Discord suddenly enters a depressive state as he looks ahead with blank eyes. “If she can actually attend, of course. And, if I may add one more thing… I really do think you’ll make an excellent husband to her, just as I think you’d make an excellent father…Should that ever happen anyway” A single tear came down his cheek as he thought about it. It was a normal tear too, as if the very thought made him purely happy.

...Discord…

You walk up to him, and actually nuzzle your head at his side “She’ll manage it, don’t worry. Relax, ok? Everything is gonna be ok.”

Discord reaches down, and gently scratches his talons behind your ear. It actually felt quite nice.

“Well, don’t that beat all…” Comes a voice from behind both of you.

Goddammit, you didn’t even need to hear the accent to understand who that was. You both turn around to see Filthy Rich, beside the fountain, giving a warm smile towards yours and Discord’s show of affection.

Discord immediately removed his talons from your head, and slapped his tail at your butt hard enough to send you careening into the fountain as he let out a nervous chuckle towards Mr.Rich. He didn’t want to be seen as compassionate, at least, not at the moment. Why he cared? Even you don’t know, he’s just fucking random like that. Something that wasn’t good for your head at all. “I don’t even know what you mean by that, good sir. Ah was just tryin’ to keep the colt from knocking his noggin on that there fountain. He thought he saw a parasprite he could keep as a pet. Silly little colt, that Anon.” Discord then looks at you and waggles his talon “Boy, how many times I got to tell you to not go goin’ after yer imagination.” He had resumed his southern impression.

...You’ll fucking kill him, you swear.

“Oh, well, there ain’t parasprites around for miles…” Filthy Rich says as he looks around, then whispers closely “And let’s hope it stays that way. Nasty little bugs, them Parasprites.”

“Indeed.” Discord says as he straightens his vest.

“Indeed indeed. In any case, since we’re all here, I suppose I should be taking you all to the colisseum my wife is having built opposite the train station.” Filthy Rich explains, but then he takes a look at Discord and gives him a polite nod “But before that, allow me to compliment you on your attire, Mr.Discord. It’s looking mighty fine, mighty fine indeed. And that includes Mr.Anon too. The perfect pair, you two”

“‘Course” Discord picks you up your still recovering form and sets you down next to him as he points out your mane “As you can see, Anon has become quite taken with the southern flair. As have I”

“Ugh…” If Filthy wasn’t present, you’d chew Discord out for his shitty little push. But you really did have business to attend to, especially with...Wait, did he say?... “Mr.Rich, did you say a colisseum ?”

He nodded “Mhmm, just on the other side of the train station. Bewildering, I know. But when you’ve got the money and the means, you can get anything done. Specially if you hire in bulk…” Suddenly he seemed a little nervous “C-course, it may have been a bit more than what I personally would have done. But it’s my wife’s little venture, and I wouldn’t want to upset her none, especially with my little Diamond wanting to see you, Mr.Anon, earn such prestige among the eyes of the elite.”

Oh god, you didn’t even need to ask him what that meant. Essentially, his wife used a shitton of cash to set up some ridiculous colisseum just to show you off to her fucking “friends”. The madmare really did it. It was actually scary to even know that she was capable of setting all of that up at such short notice. You wondered what it fucking looked like.

“Well, erm, so that’s what we’re going to check out, right?” You ask, curious.

“Yes indeedy. Captain Spitfire and our resident element of loyalty are overseeing the project personally as well. Though, part of me says they ain’t likin’ it too much.” Filthy says, as if he himself was truly unsure on his wife’s machinations.

“Why is that? I mean, I’d understand Spitfire. But wouldn’t Rainbow Dash find something like this pretty cool?” You asked, it seemed weird that Rainbow wouldn’t like any way to hog the spotlight.

“Perhaps, but it’s cuttin’ in on her sleep apparently. Not to mention the both of them have some reservations on the opening script.” Filthy explains as he starts leading the both of you towards the colisseum.

Opening script? “Uhhh…What do you mean by that?”

“Mr.Anon…” Filthy looks back at you with a grimace “Let’s just say that you being the star of the show is an understatement.”

Holy shit, Spoiled. What the fuck did you do?! “Ooook then...I guess I have to be really ready for tomorrow, huh?”

“For all our sakes, son, for all our sakes. The missus really did put her integrity on the line for this, so I politely ask that you give it your all tomorrow, Mr.Anon.” Mr.Rich’s voice was a little timid when he mentioned how integral it was for you to perform well.

You pump your chest with your hoof, and give him a reassuring smile “You can count on me, Mr.Rich! Not only for this, but in making your daughter really happy too. Speaking of which, what exactly is planned for the...er, ‘wedding’ “

“Ahh, well. We decided that the town hall will be the venue, and made sure to have some ponies stationed outside to keep away the princesses and the elements. Cancelled the wedding cake with well...erm, the Cakes.” Mr.Rich said, the last one catching you off guard.

“Seriously? I thought Mrs.Rich was friends with them, y’know, after that whole class thing” That was odd.

“You misunderstand, Mr.Anon. The wife feels their work is too perfect for our little wedding preview, can’t be havin’ anything that might not be able to be topped y’know. We also cancelled the reception, and made sure the guest list is small. It’ll be the most imperfect yet adequate fake wedding this side of the continent!” Mr.Rich seemed pretty confident about that. Heh, you thought there’d be some flair to the wedding in some parts, but it seemed he really was going for mediocre.

“Well, that just sounds so…boring.” Discord then hesitates on his next words, as if he was subtly admitting it was fine either way. “It’s a good thing I’ll be there to liven things up, if only by a little bit anyway.”

“Not about you, Dad.” You let out, still a little upset from when he bopped you.

“I know…” Discord says, with some infliction of regret in his tone. Did he realize you were a little mad at him? And did he actually care? Goddamnit. If he was, it meant he was being genuine with his words. It also meant that him bopping you was just his retarded “I’M CHAOTIC!” reflex “I just thought having me around would make things better for you, that’s all.”

You let out a soft sigh, and put aside your petty grudge one last time. “...You will, it wouldn’t be a wedding without you, y’know?”

“Heh…” Discord quickly regains his confidence and straightens his vest as he changes his accent once more “I say, son, you do know the things that you know.” Discord then looks to Mr.Rich as he gives you a head pat “Truly a colt to be admired, if I do say so myself.”

“Too right, Mr.Discord, too right.” Mr.Rich says with a hearty chuckle.

And then you saw it. Across from the train station was a fucking massive colosseum, golden in color, with lights around it more for the construction team than for the colosseum itself. It didn’t really look roman, more like some sort of crude baseball stadium, and that was just from the outside of it. You could see that some of it still needed to be filled in with concrete and such, as some of the scaffolding was still visible. There were tons of fucking workers moving in and out of the colosseum. They were getting tools, having breaks, and some of the pegasi ones were flying about to work on the upper areas of the colosseum. This was impressive as fuck given this was all in one day.

“And there it is. Not the best thing ever built, to be sure, but it’s good enough for tomorrow…” Mr.Rich then gulped, nervous about something “...How much is this gonna cost? I wonder…” He said silently to himself. For his wife, you, and his daughter, this was all worth it. But it still pained him so that his wife may have spent more than he realized to get this all done.

You were just wondering what it looked like from the inside.

There seemed to be many entrances leading to the interior of the colosseum, all of them placed a few feet next to each other as arches. Mr.Rich led you down one that led to a set of stairs and took you through a tunnel leading to the bleachers.

“So, erm...Is this free or do ponies have to pay to get inside?” You ask

Mr.Rich cringed harder than ever after hearing that “Y-yes...Not that I don’t mind none, generosity is somethin’ I’m known for...but... Oh mercy, I really hope this all goes well.” Mr.Rich then looks at you. He looked worried and even desperate. “Anon, I really am counting on you in aweing every pony who will be attending. Not just for the wife’s sake… But my own. Ah don’t want to say nothin to put on the pressure, but the entire family line’s reputation is tied to how well you do tomorrow.”

Christ, seriously? “Mr.Rich, calm down, it can’t be that dire. It’s not like any of the princesses are attending or anything, it can’t possibly be that bad.”

Mr.Rich gulped “...Try two princesses…”

Wut? “Two? Uhhhhh, you mean like. Maybe Twilight, since she’s already in town, and err…”

“Princess Celestia…” Mr.Rich said with a gulp

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

GYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

WHAT IN THE FUCKING SHIT?! Celestia?! How the fuck did she get Celestia?! Hell, how did she get Twilight at all?! Is she insane?! God! Never mind that Twilight could possibly be annoying, but Celestia…

Celestia. She wasn’t too bad in small doses, but her overbearing nature to care for all her subjects over anything else always seems to put you in a dark light somehow. You were nearly stunned to even know she’s coming.

“Interesting…” Discord said as he tapped at his chin. “Now, I could imagine our dear Princess Twilight was suckered in with some sort of book donation, correct?” He guessed.

Mr.Rich nodded “To her school, to Cheerilee’s class, and to the schools in Canterlot...That was also rather costly. Good g-guess, Mr.Discord.”

“Well, I am good at that. But I wonder, how in the wide wide world of Equestria did your wife nab our ever warming sun princess?” Even Discord couldn’t figure that out. “Especially on such short notice”

“The way the wife explained it might just surprise you. She ran into her in Canterlot when she was hiring workers. When the princess asked her why she was hiring so many, she told her about Mr.Anon’s final exam, and asked if she could attend. Wife didn’t even have to make any sort of deal, the princess just said yes. Don’t that beat all?” Mr.Rich tried to think of that as a positive. If you do well and the princesses were impressed, it meant he could dig himself out of this little financial hole his wife put him in.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

She was going to fucking watch you! As in, she was going to evaluate you like she has done in the fucking past! Holy fuck! Why can’t she mind her own goddamn business?! What made this so special to her that she had to come down to see it?! She had no reason at all to come bother you, not one fucking reason! You weren’t hiding anything! You weren’t doing anything evil! Holy shit, her coming down at all for this was worse than anything Discord could muster up. “I-interesting..I-I’ll really have to do well, huh?”

“Come on, Mr.Anon, don’t be getting shaky voiced on me now. Mnnn, well, here we are. Take a gander at that, boys” Mr.Rich said as you all reached the bleachers. He waved his hoof and pointed to the obstacle course in the middle of the colosseum.

It was a field with nine obstacles. Rainbow Dash had told you ahead of time what the obstacles were going to be, and that there were only going to be eight. But this? Only the first four obstacles in the course matched what she said. The hurdles, the tires, the mud trench, and a climb up a very steep board. The other five is where the fucking money went as it looked like some japanese game show in terms of an obstacle course. There was a tube with poles stabbed into it, it had a bend in the middle and rotated at a semi-slow speed. That bend would cause the center part of the tube to be of higher and lower altitudes within it’s spin. What, did they expect you to get through that shit without getting sick?

The next wild obstacle was a wall that looked like it slid along a track when pushed. You could see the workers pushing on it hard, with the obstacle suddenly jutting backwards with a quick thrust every so often. Given their nods, it was supposed to do that.

The obstacle after that were three platforms suspended over a small moat. The middle platform stayed in place as the other two orbited around it in a clockwise and counterclockwise spin. It seemed you had to use the two platforms to reach the middle quickly, wait, and then when they realign on the other side, quickly jump to the next obstacle.

The fourth was two tight walls going straight up to the final obstacle. Holy fuck! Did they expect you to fucking wall climb all the way up? STRAIGHT UP?! Oh geez…

And the final obstacle was a large circular arena, with a statue of a dragon that rotated about, shooting fireballs about. But it had something in its claws, something that was… “Is that a doll meant to look like Diamond in a princess outfit?”

“Ahrm, yes.” Mr.Rich seemed to have some embarrassment about this. “Missus felt the rescue of said doll would be an appropriate end to this thing…”

“Hmmm…” Discord noted the fireballs “And are those flames real as well?”

Mr.Rich nodded “Mhmm, didn’t feel too right about that one. Seems dangerous to me.”

You just scanned the bleachers for a moment, and spotted two royal seats on the other side. Goddammit, they even had their own little spot to watch the whole thing. “Yeah, I’m not worried about something like that.” You were too focused on Celestia’s eventual presence to care about a little flame.

“Well, it’s not just about you, now is it? Ugh… This whole thing is a mess!” Said a commanding voice from above. You all look up to see a rather pissed off Spitfire, garbed in her captain’s shirt. She didn’t have any shades, made sense since it was night. She slowly landed in front of Mr.Rich and started poking her hoof at his chest. “And you! Really? Real fire?! And what’s with those crazy obstacles, huh? That’s not safe at all for foals! I’ve been wanting to have a chat with you all night, Mr.Rich, because this? All of this is just too much!”

Mr.Rich took a few steps back in surprise, and a little confused to what she was talking about. “Miss Spitfire, e-ern, What seems to be the problem with some of them obstacles?...e-erm, aside from the last one, of course. J-just to let you know, it was the missus who commissioned them”

“Have you seen the tube? That’s not regulation at all. Sure, a properly trained recruit could get through something like that with practice. But a foal? If they lose their balance in there they’ll bash their head on one of the poles when the tube’s bend points up!” She then points to the wall climb obstacle “And what about that one? Sure, with the spinning platform they’ll land in the water below. But if any of them lose their footing on that thing, BAM! They could land on their head on the platform below and it’s lights out for sure! And again... The use of real fire. We appreciate the contribution to the academy, Mr.Rich, but I can’t just sit here and let your wife have her way. These need to be changed before tomorrow, for sure!”

Discord snickers at her words as he puts his arm around her, it doesn’t take long for her to push it away as she looks at him suspiciously. But of course, he doesn’t mind that. “Spitfire, Spitfire, you say all that as if it’s a problem. This is Anon, my son. At this point, I think Equestria would be crushed by the folding fabric of reality itself if him bonking his head somehow was a problem.”

You just silently narrow your eyes at Discord for a moment. But he was right, especially since none of that seemed tough to you. “He’s right, Miss Spitfire...erm..Captain Spitfire, Ma’am. I beat the Storm King, remember? And a dragon too!”

“As if I don’t know about the horn. Look, Anon, I’m not going to say you aren’t capable. Considering me and my team...ahrm, couldn’t beat him, it’d be hard for me to believe you weren’t able to beat this course despite half of it not being regulation. But it’s you and a filly out there, on a course you both haven’t even had any practice for. Even if you BOTH get to the final obstacle, those flames are real. I don’t want anypony responsible for scorched foal, you hear me?” Spitfire explains to you. Yikes, you thought she would have been all for this in the first place. But she seemed really concerned for you and Scootaloo’s safety. Come on, it didn’t look that fucking bad.

“Captain Spitfire, ma’am. I’m no ordinary colt. I have dealt with stuff much MUCH worse than some obstacle course, horn or no. Besides, Mr.Rich has already invested a ton of money into this already, having anything changed now would be too costly. If the course is too much for either me or Scootaloo, we can tap out… Or, you could just be responsible and pull us out if it gets too rough or something. I mean, that's what adults do, right? Make sure us foals don’t overdo it?” Your expression is slightly cocky, but you meant what you said. You both could be pulled out if it got “dangerous”. And with the amount of money spent already, you didn’t want Mr.Rich to suffer any more stress.

“Kid… I have managed obstacle courses and special training machines for as long as I’ve been captain of the Wonderbolts. I don’t mind a little rough n’ tumble, that’s fine. But this kind of course was made for adults, not foals. And even if I was ok with it, there’s still the fact the final obstacle could make foal fillet at any time.” Spitfire does her best to explain to you.

Mr.Rich looked a little ragged as his mane started to come apart slowly. He was not a greedy miser, but it really did seem like he could calculate the costs, and it didn’t seem too good for him if this wasn’t a success. But he also had morals, and didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

But Discord slithered along Spitfire’s side, and looked at her closely eye to eye with one of his creepy sultry looks. “Are you forgetting that it’s really his wife that you have to deal with? She’s the one who wanted all of this in the first place. And given I know she’s made quite the contribution to said academy, I don’t think it’d be in your favor to complain.” He then poofs away, and reappears in front of her, looking away from her as his tone became more serious. “And even if you’re correct. You forget that very powerful beings, such as myself, will be attending tomorrow. Yes, I know, that in truth, that the final obstacle is so risky even our rich benefactor is having doubts of how safe this all is. But, Captain Spitfire, could you risk the wrath of a social elite who has been humiliated by her vain and shallow company because you wanted to make changes? What about your fellow Wonderbolts? Come now, I will personally keep a close eye on our two trainees to make sure nothing runs afoul. That way the crowd gets their show, you know the foals are safe, and you Anon...will be able to do what is expected of you.” He says as he looks to you with a wink. Heh, now that was cool. He was on your side.

You looked to Spitfire, who seemed to now be in deep contemplation. You could see she didn’t want anything to happen to the academy or the Wonderbolts. And in truth, even you could tell she was mostly worried about the damn dragon obstacle. Anyone would if it involved real flames. But you were sure things would be fine. “Captain Spitfire, Ma’am, it’ll be ok. Isn’t that right, Mr.Rich?” You look to him for reassurance

Mr.Rich was contemplating things himself. He wouldn’t mind telling his wife himself that this all was too much. And he certainly didn’t want to put foals in danger. But he just knew no matter what the outcome, someone was going to get screwed due to how much of an investment his wife put on this emotionally. He looks to Discord, and gives him a hard stare, having to know the truth for himself. “Mr.Discord, are you sure you can protect Mr.Anon and Miss Scootaloo? I have your word as a businesspony?”

“Of course! I can bend reality, space, and sticks of rubber to my will! How hard can protecting two foals during a silly training exam be? In any case, I can assure everypony here that they are in good hands. So, Spitz McWorrypants, anything else to complain about?” Discord turns back to Spitfire, internally feeling pretty good of granting you this solid.

“Fine… If it’s gonna keep everything together, and you really can do it, then fine.” Spitfire put her hoof to her face and shook her head, she felt this was a mistake “Ugh, can’t believe I’m allowing it. Anyway, I have one last thing to mention, but I’m gonna go get Dash for this one, since we both kinda have different opinions on it.”

And so Spitfire lifted off and flew down, under the large platform with the dragon statue. Was Rainbow Dash there among the workers? Maybe she was checking things out.

And what other thing could it be? You wondered.

You took the time to absorb the entire course some more. Did you truly have any doubt in your ability to win? Sure, the obstacles Spoiled had put in looked tough at first, but you were the fucking hero colt! You’ve done so much amazing shit already, a goddamn training exam shouldn’t be something you’d have to worry about. No, you aren’t going to worry about it. You got this…

As you gazed, you could see Spitfire coming back with Rainbow Dash. Hmm, differing opinions on this other thing she mentioned. You wondered what that thing was and how they could have different opinions on it.

Spitfire and Rainbow Dash land in front of your group, it appears they were having a small discussion as they flew up here. Because they both looked to Mr.Rich, with Spitfire opening her mouth to say “Right, before we get to this thing.” She points to a long piece of parchment Rainbow Dash was holding. “Just want to say this. Whether your wife wants it or not, Anon and Scootaloo are wearing helmets and knee pads, no ifs, ands, or buts… Are we clear?”

Mr.Rich nods “Crystal, and I’ll make sure, personally, that it’s no issue. Safety first and all that.” He was genuine about this, last thing he needed was for Scootaloo to get a concussion. Not you, of course, you were better than that.

“Good, alright Dash, go ahead.” Spitfire let’s Rainbow Dash speak, and given how annoyed RD looked, she had a lot to say.

“Ok then, so, this is apparently the script your wife wrote for us. And I gotta say, I don’t really like it too much. Like, none of it sounds right at all.” Dash holds up the parchment, looking quite annoyed with it, and points to a particular passage “Check this one out, ahrm… ‘So let us praise Anon, the hero colt who may very well prove to be our savior from many dangers ahead of us. The princesses needn’t worry when he, the future son-in-law of the Rich estate, is around to protect Equestria’. Ok, so what’s up with that, huh? Is she saying that we can’t do it? I mean, come ooooon! if it wasn’t for me, Nightmare Moon would have made everything night time, but...you know, forever.”

Spitfire looks to Rainbow Dash. She looked a tad confused, but only in the sense that she could see she was bullshitting. “You mean you, Princess Twilight, and the rest of the elements, right? Come on, Dash, we don’t need anypony having a big head here.”

Rainbow Dash giggled sheepishly, then have Spitfire a small salute “Sorry about that. I mean, I did mean my friends too, y’know. It was just I found a bridge…” But she could see Spitfire was not amused at all in her trying to play herself up by even a little. Rainbow Dash looks back at the parchment, clears her throat nervously, and continues. “Annnyway, there’s another thing here that kind of implies that he’s better than the elements.”

“...And the Wonderbolts.” Spitfire adds “Not saying the kid isn’t amazing. But the way she worded it, it makes us look incompetent.”

“Well...I guess I can give Twilight and her friends the one with the whole Pony of Shadows thing. But Anon, again, did defeat this Storm King fellow. And he reformed a pony, that I feel I need to remind you took all your cutie marks and locked you in a shed.” Discord said with a shrug. He was right though, you did do a pretty incredible job now that you thought about it. “I see nothing wrong with this so far.”

Rainbow Dash rolls her eyes at him “Sheesh, are you kidding me? This whole script makes us look bad while it makes the Riches and Anon look better than even the princesses! Scootaloo isn’t even mentioned once in this too. She is taking the exam, you know.”

“And? You still haven’t mentioned anything worth changing.” Discord says, staying firm on his words. “Yes, we all know the princesses have done adequately. And when it comes to the elements, it’s really Fluttershy who keeps it all together. But since Anon’s arrival, he has, more often than not, solved many a huge problem by himself. So then, that being said, is the script really a problem when it’s the truth?”

Goddamn Discord. You felt a sense of pride flow through you, it made you stand silently with a smile. No one really noticed it, but you didn’t care. You really were fucking great.

“You’re kidding me, right? We didn’t even get to the-” But Spitfire is stopped when Rainbow Dash puts a hoof to her chest, giving her a smirk and a nod. But of course, Spitfire didn’t get it. “Dash, what are yo-” But again, she is interrupted when Rainbow Dash speaks loudly to cut her off.

“Yeah! Hey! You’re right, Discord! The script is perfect!” Rainbow Dash says, at a near annoyingly loud level. But those words…

Wut? All of you were confused by those words.

“Well, finally! Rainbow Dash, it really is nice to see you come to reason. So then!” Discord looks around, rubbing his talons and paw together as he smiles big “Now that this is all done, I’d like to go. Have to get a big big meal in for tomorrow morning’s festivities!”

“Well, I gotta agree with ya, Discord. There’s no other reason for us to hang around here! I mean...” Rainbow Dash grin curls as she wiggles her eyebrows once at him “There’s nothing wrong with the script at all. Not even this one part where it mentions Anon taming the ‘Big Clown of Chaos” himself. Yep…” Rainbow Dash does a large fake yawn “I’m ready for tomorrow too, so let’s j-” But she is predictably cut off as Discord lets out a short screech and grabs the script, reading and absorbing all of it within a short moment.

“Town fool?! Clown?! Probably couldn’t even drink tea properly?! What is all this?!” Discord was baffled by what he was reading.

Oh ouch. You wanted to laugh, but you could tell Discord was fucking blown away by what he was described as in that script. He probably wouldn’t have minded so much if it wasn’t going to be read out to a crowd.

Rainbow Dash shrugs “I mean, is it a problem? I think it sounds pretty dead on”

Discord immediately rushes over to Mr.Rich and points at the script. “I want this changed, right now! It’s all wrong! Even you can see that, can’t you?! This is a mockery to everything that has to do with me! I mean, at the very least, we can at least make it refer to Twilight!” Oh yeah, he was pissed.

Wew boy, what a mess. You had to turn and look over at the course to hide your smirk. You didn’t really care about the script either way. It was just Mrs.Rich really fucking playing you up for her own benefit. You did kind of wish it gave praise to Scootaloo though. RD was right, she was in this whole exam thing with you.

Mr.Rich, not being ignorant to what was going on and finding his wife’s script appalling, just had himself a bit of a short chuckle as he waves at Discord to indicate he understood what was going on. “That’ll not be a problem, Mr.Discord. In fact, since it would be mostly Captain Spitfire making the opening speech, I feel it’d be right for her to do it her own way, without insult to anypony at all of course. Don’t worry about the wife, I’ll make sure she understands.”

“Good…” Discord crosses his arms as he looks away from everyone “...Because she was clearly wrong...Mostly about me...meh…”

You had to roll your eyes. What a butthurt little dork he can be. “Heh, yeah I guess so. I mean, she was mostly right about me anyway. But to each their own. So, Captain Spitfire, ma’am, are you going to be able to come up with something for tomorrow morning?”

“I’ve come up with speeches in less time than we have now, so it’s not gonna be a problem. But sheesh, I don’t even put that much pressure on my own cadets. I still think you’re really cocky, but in this case, you’re gonna need some of that to ignore all that distraction. For now, I think we should all go and rest up for tomorrow. Everything else is nearly done here, so there’s no reason to lose any sleep. But hey...Anon.” Spitfire gives you a serious look “Don’t get too cocky, ok? This is still a tough course for a foal. I’m gonna give you a word of advice. Even of somepony is the best at what they do, cockiness can still make them mess up. Being blinded with pride makes you blind to what’s in front of you...Ain’t that right, Crash?” Spitfire gives a smarmy little smirk over to Rainbow Dash.

“Ahrm...” Rainbow Dash blushed in embarrassment, but saluted anyway. “Yes, ma’am…”

“Cool, well. Since we pretty much got everything squared away, I’m gonna go. And I suggest everypony else does the same. Seeya tomorrow!” Spitfire salutes, and flies off.

“Y-yeah, I’m gonna go too...But, before I do…” Rainbow Dash looks over to you, and softens up as she comes to her next words “Anon, really, just keep an eye on her tomorrow, ok? Scootaloo is a tough filly, but this might be a little much for her, you know?”

You salute to Rainbow Dash “Trust me, I got this. I won’t let anything happen to her, ok?”

Rainbow Dash let out a reassured sigh and looks to you with such a soft smile, that she was actually alluringly cute. “Thanks, Anon. You’re a good kid, and you’re gonna do great tomorrow.” And after giving you a gentle pet on your head, Rainbow Dash flew off.

“Gonna need to be goin’ myself. The missus is waiting for me, and I want to make sure she understands what changes we’re a makin’. Good evening Mr.Discord, Mr.Anon… And good luck,” And with that, Mr.Rich did a bow, and went on his way.

You wave goodbye to him, then look over to Discord, who hadn’t said a word, not even a goodbye, as he stood there and stewed in his own frustration. “Yo, Discord. Seriously? Come on, you know how she is. You know she doesn’t really like you.”

“Hmph…” Discord says with a gruff “As if I care. I’d just expect a little respect considering who I am and what I’ve done. Not to mention I’m going to be her brother-in-law...or however that works.”

“Come on, big guy…” You walk over to him and give him a tap to his side. “It’s not like she’s Fluttershy...or, y’know...me. I still think you’re cool, and a master of chaos...a king, if I was to give it a title.”

Discord slowly turns his head and looks down at you, he did actually look a little hurt from those words. “A king? You really think so?”

You nod, giving him a sweet little smile ”Yeah! If erm…” You kick your little front hoof forward gently as your smile becomes a little meek “Y’know...I’m the prince of chaos… That works, right?”

“Heh…” Discord lets out a weak chuckle as leans down to give you a pet “I suppose that works. I don’t even know why I feel like this right now. Maybe, perhaps, that I wanted to have a larger part to play in all this. To let everypony know that it’s my son, Anon, who’s proving himself at a physical level. Sounds a little silly, doesn’t it?”

Damn Discord...geez. For him, that was actually pretty heavy. “Nah…” You rub your head gently on his side to show him affection. At this point, you could forgive him for when he smacked you into the side of the fountain. “It just means you care. Maybe a little selfishly, but you just want to be proud of me because I’m your friend, and technically your son, I guess.”

Discord pauses, then picks you up and holds you gently for a hug “I suppose it can be that, and that a moment of weakness for it may be happening at this very moment. And given that moment, I suppose I can say I am indeed proud of you and wish you the best of luck tomorrow, with all my heart. I hope that isn’t too sappy sounding.”

Don’t show any hesitation or doubt, Anon. You can tell, he’s being genuine. “It isn’t…” You give him a gentle hug “Sometimes, Discord. It’s nice just to have these moments, you know? You don’t have to be a douchebag all the time. Really, I say that a lot, but I really mean it when I say it.”

“You do…Don’t you? Hmmnn…” Discord looks around carefully, begins to slowly cradle you when he noticed nobody is around.

“W-what are you doing?” Was he holding you like a baby? What gives? And why was it making you feel so sleepy?

“A final gift for the night. A restful sleep, and to know that you can trust me when you are in my arms.” Discord again looks around as he gently rocks you left and right, then looks back at you “I love you, Anon. As much as a chaotic father can love his interdimensional species-changed son. You are a large piece to the masterpiece that is my life.” Suddenly he gives you a very serious look “And if you tell Anypony I said that, I’ll make sure you are stuck with Applejack for a week. I don’t know how much boredom you’d be able to take, but I’m sure it couldn’t be that much.”

Dammit Discord, he was so damn close! Still… It was close enough. And you felt so tired now that you didn’t have the will to argue. You just started to feel a gentle and blissful sense of rest come over you as you nod off in his arms. The very last thing you hear is “Good night, Anon. My son…”

Darkness…

Darkness with stars generating simple lights all around you…

You found yourself in an empty space, unaffected by time…

And yet you found yourself quite lucid as you stood on a seemingly empty void…

It was a dreamspace. Emptier than you’d expect, but that was most likely due to the fact that you hadn’t come to dream anything this night. And if you found yourself lucid within a dreamscape, then it only meant one thing.

“Luna…” You lowly mutter to yourself as you look around the emptiness.

You begin to walk forward as you look around. “Come on, Princess Luna, I know you’re here. I always lucid dream when you’re inside my head”

“Indeed...I am here.” You hear her gentle yet regal voice come from behind you as Princess Luna herself steps to your side and looks down at you with a warming smile. “How are you this evening, Anon? It has been some time”

Great, the princess brigade seemed to be on your ass once again… “I’m fine, and obviously sleeping pretty well. Princess Luna, I don’t mean to sound rude or cold, but why are you here? It can’t be a coincidence that you chose to enter my dream now, considering what's going to happen tomorrow.”

Luna frowns from those words, seems she was hoping for things to be rather pleasant considering she did consider you a friend. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Anon. Mnnn…” She really didn’t, but she carries on anyway as she did have some things to say “But no, it isn’t a coincidence. I came to discuss about the going ons for tomorrow, as I will not be there to personally see it myself.”

You thought as much. “Why not?”

“Well, I am technically awake as I do my duties. So I will need my rest when the morning comes.” She explains to you.

“Right… I guess that makes sense. But why do you have to come bother me then instead of asking your sister what happened when it’s all over?”

She doesn’t answer for a meer moment, and after some awkward hesitation, she replies. “You feel as if my sister and I are intruding on your personal business, correct?”

Bingo! Dammit… “Yeah, that’s exactly it. Doesn’t help that your sister decided to just join in for tomorrow without much prodding. I’m surprised Twilight hasn’t had a freak out over the course design yet. And now you’re suddenly bothering me in my sleep. So yeah, excuse me for being a little sore that you decided to visit me specifically for what’s going on tomorrow.”

“Anon, I didn’t mean to upset you like this, but you are also acting out of turn. Do you believe there is a conspiracy against you? Or perhaps we are trying to control you?” Luna didn’t really like the way you were acting. “Because if that’s what you think, then you are sorely mistaken. The only thing that holds true is the partial fact that my sister wishes to attend so she may watch you and young Scootaloo perform in this exam. Mrs. Rich had told her the details of the course, so her other reason is to make sure Twilight does not lose her will of mind from the apparent dangers.”

So then… “Ok, then what about Twilight? If the danger is there, wouldn’t she have shut this whole thing down?”

Luna shakes her head “Not if she has yet to see the colosseum. Twilight has been busy within her own works to see what has been going on just across the train station. She has some qualms about it being such a public spectacle, but her want for young foals to learn and be lost in the world of books was too good for even her to pass up. She will, of course, need calming once she learns the truth of the situation.”

Hmmm, then what about… “Well, if everypony thinks it’s so dangerous. Why is your sister ok with it?”

“She believes it’s not as dangerous as it appears. That you will have more than enough observers who will be able to help the both of you should things go awry. She also believes there is a lesson to be learned about being too boastful. Given my visitations through certain ponies’ dreams, I’ve come to believe my sister is indeed correct. Mrs. Rich has taken your achievement as a way to step above her peers, as she feels she herself has had her dignity diminished by them one too many times. Given how some of the elite in Canterlot tend to act, I can see why she’d feel this way, though I also believe this is definitely not a way to cope with it. But if I had to mention a positive in all this, she does in fact have pride in you, and wishes for you to succeed in a way equivalent to how a mother sees her son.” Luna explains.

“Sounds a little messed up to me. If anything goes wrong, she’ll be a laughing stock. I’m aware she’s being really dumb and cocky about all of this. But I also know how that all works too… sorta… I’ve seen it enough times anyway. If your sister wants to give Mrs. Rich some sort of lecture on something like this, then I can’t see it going all too well if it all explodes in her face anyway. That’d just be kicking her while she’s down. And don’t give me that ‘But she shouldn’t be putting foals in danger’ stuff. I’m well aware, just from looking at the course, that it’s tougher than the norm. But I’m still going for it, and I’ll make sure Scootaloo gets through it just fine… That's a promise. Princess Luna…” You look at her, frowning but determined “I know there’s probably a lesson to be learned somewhere tomorrow. But the way I see it, It’s my duty to make sure everypony succeeds, and that includes Mrs. Rich. I don’t need your sister telling anypony what’s what.”

Luna could sense a cloud of maturity in your tone and words. But she also seemed to know something you don’t. “My sister understands how the social structure works in Equestria. No, she feels it will be more of a personal realization while maintaining the status quo. I’m sure you know, but my sister has premonitions from time to time, and she feels all of this will come about with little involvement from her.”

You roll your eyes. Celestia and her decisions and fucking premonitions. She manipulated you to meet her own ends, and you had to convince yourself that it was for the good of the world. If anything, you’d trade this Celestia for the one from the Flim Flam timeline. She seemed like she would have cared more about your feelings. “Yeah, I bet. I know she has premonitions, but it doesn’t mean it’s always right. Or else she would have seen things like my Dad betraying you all for Tirek coming.”

Luna began to narrow her eyes at you, she started to really notice your hostility towards Celestia. “A premonition doesn’t describe the journey, Anon. Nor is it always set in stone. But I trust my sister, and believe her vision to be true. Is there a reason you hold such hostilities towards her?”

“Whenever she graces me with her presence, it’s always because she doesn’t trust me.” You say, with some scorn in your tone.

“That’s not true, and you know it. You base this on the rare visitations you have with her, and your time with that condemnable queen.” Luna started to sound harsher in her tone “Now you act childish, Anon. It wasn’t my sister who manipulated you, it was Queen Chrysalis who did that. You, the ponies we protect, and even her own hive! How can you still bare a grudge over my sister? The Changelings have become kind and gentle, their kingdom as prosperous as any other. And yet, despite this, you still are angry over the fact that we needed to deceive Chrysalis to make it work?! I would have thought you had moved past this.”

“I am past it. I’m well aware Chrysalis is evil, she’s a villain, and that she had committed grand atrocities. But I still managed to do what you all hadn’t… Have her as a friend. I don’t hold a grudge over your sister, I’m just tired of her always having a reason for, I dunno, something when it comes to me! I paid my dues, haven’t I? Really, the only one I still owe is you considering you saved my life from that tantabus. Princess Luna, please…” You let out a heavy and exasperated sigh “Please understand that it’s nothing against either of you, but I don’t like feeling like I’m being held under a microscope all the time. I mean, I think this would have gone better if you just came to say hello to me, don’t you think? It would have been my bad then had I brought your sister up. Ugh, look… I get Chrysalis was evil, I really do. But she was still one of my best friends, so I’m kind of sensitive about it.”

Luna felt that actually may be true, but also knew had you brought Celestia up yourself, that this conversation would have gone down the same path. But she also felt that, perhaps, a softer approach may be needed “Hmm..Perhaps. And perhaps being sensitive to losing a friend so close is reasonable. I apologize if I have insulted you in that sense, but I still expect you to understand things from our point of view. As for you and my sister… Hm, may I ask you that the next time you speak to her face to face, that you yourself keep things as casual as possible? I know you are always suspicious of her motives, but perhaps not being suspicious and trying to have a normal conversation with her will help move you away from such stressful thinking. My sister can actually be quite a treat to be around and speak to… And sometimes she can be a little overbearing, I admit. But it’s more the former than the latter. And I know you have had some of that former with her before, or am I wrong about that?”

...There was a few times. But those were mostly in your earlier meetings with her, or that one time she came to help prank Blueblood. Hmmnngh, really, Celestia only butt heads with you due to Chrysalis. Dammit… Were you being manipulated again?! You stay silent as you ponder…

And Luna could see that you were in deep thought about that, or maybe something else. Whatever she believed, she tried to circumvent it with a deal. “I would consider it payment for me saving your life. I know what I ask is less than equivalent to that, but it would do my heart good to know that my sister had better relations with you. So please, Anon…” Luna does a short bow to you “Please, honor my request, I ask nothing more than that.”

...Luna...Dammit. Fuck, how could you say no now? A-atleast it got you off the hook, right? “O-ok, ok. Sheesh, you don’t need to bow. Fine, I’ll talk to her tomorrow and see how that goes.”

Luna finally started to smile, and gave you a nod “I thank you for that, Anon. Now, I’d like to get off this subject and move on to something lighter toned. You’d like that as well, correct?”

God yes… “Well, considering this has technically been a nightmare. I really wouldn’t mind a casual conversation with the Princess of the Night...mnnn.” Ugh, just do it, Anon. You felt guilt for your earlier outburst, and felt the urge to apologize. “Sorry, by the way, if I insulted you.”

“It’s…” Luna calmed herself about that, she’d let it slide at this point, it was all said and done. “It’s alright, Anon. Do not let it trouble you further. So, then… What would you like to talk about?”

“Well...erm” You actually hadn’t thought of a topic, you really were too frustrated from before to think of a proper one. But as your mind wanders, it comes upon that of your friend. “Did Scootaloo have a nightmare. Y’know, about tomorrow?”

Luna nodded “She did, but do not worry. I had guided her to a more confident train of thought before visiting you, the same with Discord as well.”

Wut? “Huh? Discord? What? He had a nightmare about tomorrow?”

Luna nodded “Indeed, strong enough that he did not notice me when I came to ease his mind. He cares about you deeply, Anon, more than you think. I know you need no reminder that he worries about you should things become dire. But when it comes to situations such as this, where the stakes don’t seem very high, he can still have worries. Although he tends to keep said worries to himself. “

The fuck? What the hell is worrying him to the point of nightmares? “So what’s bothering him then? Is he ok?”

Luna nods “He’ll be alright. His worry, however, is of his own arrogance. That something may happen tomorrow and he won't do anything about it due to him being, well, in my words, foolish. I soothed his mind however, it really wasn’t that hard to do. For you see, Anon, all he needs is the love in his heart to act without hesitation. That’s all he needed to be reminded of to make such a nightmare flee his mind.”

Discord….godfuckingdammit. You lovable bastard. You knew he loved you. But a nightmare based off his own cockiness? Now that’s on a whole other level. “Woah, well...erm. Thanks for telling me that, I’ll erm… I’ll let him know things will be fine when we get up in the morning.”

Luna nods “He may not remember the dream at a conscious level, as such things are fleeting. But I’m sure, deep down, he’ll appreciate it just the same.”

And you knew, even if he did, he’d be an asshole about it. But you could forgive him, you knew he was putting up a front. Especially after what you have just been told. “Yeah… erm, let me think. So uh, other things… So, how do you feel about Starswirl being back?”

“Well, considering he was my sister and I’s former mentor, ecstatic. But you knew that. I’m sure what you meant was how have things been lately, correct?” Luna asks, as she takes a seat on the invisible floor of the abyss.

“Yeah, that’s what I meant. Sorry, just trying to focus.”

“No need to apologize. Ahrm, well, things have been as one would think. And that being we don’t talk too much, but keep up in letters. Starswirl has taken to being solitary to continue his work, but hasn’t secluded himself from society either. We’ve had tea a couple of times, and my sister and I have gotten him up to speed in recent events. Speaking of recent, I can say that he has a large interest in you, Anon.”

Oh no… “Uhhhh, why?”

“Well, he does know of your origins after all. He’s a scholarly pony, Anon, with a taste for learning that rivals even Twilight. Though, unlike Twilight, he does have a tendency not to respect the boundaries of others…” Luna let’s out a weak chuckle “S-such as this one time he was studying bringing true life to inanimate objects, and turned one of my dolls into an abominable beast. It did insurmountable amounts of damage as well… But, ahrm… That was long ago, and not worth talking about in our current times.”

He turned her doll into a monster? Heh, that must have been when she was much younger. No, this you had to hear. You wanted details! “Oh, I think it is.” You give her a mischievous grin “So, what exactly happened? How big was the monster?”

“A-anon, it is not a tale worth telling” Luna seemed to be getting increasingly nervous about this, why was she so nervous if it happened so long ago?

“Come on, Princess Luna! Tell me! You can’t say something as juicy as that and not give details! How big was the monster? Was it like, as big as a dragon? Or… Even bigger?”

“E-erm…” Luna looked away, red faced and embarrassed

...Oh no. She may have been trying to hide it, but you could tell. She was having the cartoonish reaction of large embarrassment, which meant… “It was smaller than me, wasn’t it? It was, right?”

“W-what?! How did you know?!” Luna looked back at you, bewildered at your seemingly correct guess.

“Well, I didn’t… It was a guess. And now, I know I was right. Eheh” You let out a gentle and meek chuckle “Guess the cat is out of the bag now, eh?”

“Ahh, I know that expression...erm. Yes, I suppose the cat has been let out to rampage across the streets, stealing milk and waking many a pony with it’s terrible meowing tones…” Luna said nervously, looking down in shame.

“Yeaaaah…” Seems she didn’t quite get that the expression doesn’t go that far. Kind of funny, but mostly cringy. “Anyway, so...erm, how exactly did it cause so much damage?”

“W-well, aside from going through my sister’s hidden cookie and cake reserves. It had eaten my crown, my chessboard, some of my other dolls, and…” Luna looks back, her beautiful tail hair vanishing to reveal her bare tail. “It had somehow ate the hairs off my tail…”

That’s it? THAT’S IT?! HAHAHA! That’s hilarious! Her fucking tail? Celestia’s fucking reserve of sweets!? DOLLS?! Now that's fucking priceless! So much so, that you fall over laughing.

“Hmph…” Luna’s tail instantly reverts to normal as she stands and looks down at you, feeling rather insulted “Those were high quality dolls! I really liked them!”

“BAHAHAHAHA!” You were nearly choking, that’s just too funny! Luna! Upset over dolls! Holy shit! That’s too good!

“Hmph, perhaps you can be too much like Discord. Let’s see then…” Luna creates a little window, and reaches inside for something.

Wut?...Wait. A window? But wasn’t this inside your head? You immediately stop laughing and start to worry. “W-what are you doing?”

“Looking for something embarrassing about you so I too may have a chortle.” Luna said as she casually sifted through the window, moving thoughts around like sets of clothing.

“H-hey, that isn’t right, y-you know? I have some pretty private thoughts, some I’m sure nopony should be looking at.” Oh god, please let her be bluffing.

“Oh, it shouldn’t be too horrifying for a pony like me. And these are just your outermost thoughts, the ones you leave unprotected. Surely the thing I find in here never meant too much to you in the...WHAT IN THE?! WHAT ARE THOSE TWO MARES DOING?!” Luna suddenly turned bright red from whatever she was observing. She was utterly stunned.

Two mares? U-u-oh…

You walk over to where she was and raised yourself to gaze through the window. And there it was, Trixie fucking Starlight. As explicit as your little mind could make it… Oh man, she was licking her in the-

“ANON!” Luna pulls you away and closes the window “THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE! EVEN FOR ONE SUCH AS YOURSELF! HOW...How did such a thing get attached to the outer shell of your mind so easily?! That is usually so deep and intimate, an ultimate expression of love!”

Oh, you knew how. Joking with Starlight must have made you think about it unconsciously at some point. And given your human perversions, it made sense that a thought like this would be so easily seen within your head. “Heh…” You shrug, but then give Luna a smirk “Dunno, but uh, that should teach you a lesson about going through other ponies’ heads like that, eh?”

Luna gulped as she did her best to compose herself “I-indeed...P-perhaps our visit should end h-here. I-I have other ponies I must attend to.”

“Oh...I bet you do” You wiggle your eyebrows at her. Holy innuendos, Batmare! But truthfully, it felt nice getting one over her like this within the dreamworld, especially when you think back on your semi-vague recollection of Nightmare Night.

“A-Anon! I-I don’t know why y-you’d surround yourself in such t-thoughts. But I-I’d suggest you don’t p-pursue them… For everypony’s sake.” Luna didn’t even know if those were the correct words. She had seen all kinds of horrors in your mind. But that?! That’s just unholy to her, on every level.

You give Luna a confident bow “Yes, your highness.” Heh, you really got her good, even if you didn’t mean to.

“G-good” Luna started to wobble a little as she opened her wings, still more red than she was blue at this point “As I-I said, I must be off. T-take care, and g-good luck tomorrow” She said as she began to fade out into nothingness.

You just waved, and gave your goodbye to the defeated princess. Dream or no, the both of you weren’t going to forget that one. Serves her right...

You open your eyes, and blink at the ceiling of your room, a small smile on your face as you yawn. Poor Luna. Even as old as she is, two mares having fun with each other was too much for her.

Hilarious.

You look over at your alarm clock. It was pretty early, nine in the morning in a few more minutes. You really were getting used to getting up when you needed to. You hopped out of bed, stretched, and looked to your portal door.

“Ahh, Anon, good, you’re awake.” You hear Discord’s voice from behind you.

You look back at your floor door as he begins to phase through without opening it. “Eager for that challenge, I see.”

“Yeah well, I’ve been working up to this moment, y’know? Ponies need to know that it’s not just the horn that gives me strength.” You said with confidence, ready to destroy the course. “And besides, there are quite a few ponies relying on me right now. So, y’know, gotta be ready. You mind getting me a quick breakfast? Just a pill that expands into a meal in my stomach or something.”

Discord snaps his talons “Or we can just skip that and get to the point” He walks over to the portal door with a grin, and opens it to the town fall. “However, I have some business to attend to before I take my seat at the colosseum.”

Woah, you suddenly felt filled and full of energy. Discord could really be amazing sometimes. But business? What kind of business could he… oh wait. “You’re going to Twilight’s to see if she’s found out about the course, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am. With her being unable to do anything about it, how could I not? I won’t make a physical showing this time, however. True, it’s fun to tease her now and again, but I’d rather not risk the chance of her shutting everything down. You, however, should head over to that colosseum. I’m sure there’s quite a few things you’ll need to be prepped for before things actually begin. Speaking of which…” Discord points to you, and zaps you with a spell. Mismatched leg guards appear on the knees of your legs, and a helmet with a vague resemblance to Discord on your head poofs right onto your noggin.

It didn’t take any amount of thought to realize why he’d give you safety gear so early on, especially after what Luna had told you. It made you want to talk to him about it. Because you knew deep down, Discord was worried. Yes, he wants to see Twilight spaz, but probably only to help get his mind off any danger you might possibly be in. To you however, you also felt all this fear about injury was unwarranted, it was just simple fire, how bad could it be? “Hey, Discord, before you go. Can I tell you something?”

Discord stops, and looks at you, he seemed… a little shaken. For just a second, he wasn’t his usual jovial self. “Oh, well. Of course you can. What is it?”

“If you’re worried about me, then don’t, ok? Remember. I’m Anon! The prince of chaos! The Hero Colt! Your pal! As if some exam can take me down. I’ll make you proud! Dad!” You hold your hoof up and wiggle it a bit, until you realized one thing “O-ok, I was trying to raise a thumb there but… Y’know.”

Discord let out a quick choking noise with a rapidly vanishing smile. He turned away, and waved his paw at you dismissively. “Well, I knew that. Seriously, Anon, I don’t know why you were-...ahrm.” Suddenly he stopped himself. He still looked away from you, but his tone became a little more worried when he continued “Well… what I mean is… I appreciate your reassurance, and I have no doubt you’ll succeed perfectly. You’re right, it’s a simple exam. I mean, you’ve dealt with sooooo much worse.” His tone starts to return to his smuggish self as he chortles “You’ve nearly even been destroyed a few times. So why would anypony worry about this? I mean, it’s not as if you not being able to use your horn has nearly led to your end or anything like that… Haha…” Discord gulped, and started to step through the portal door “I’ll just be going now, you’re making me waste precious time…”

Discord…

He really was worried. You had to hope that Twilight’s worrying would help calm the guy’s nerves. Sometimes, you really would like to have a glimpse inside his head, to see what he truly thought of you. Given how looking inside heads in this universe works, you imagined some kind of candy land where Discord was actually happy to be your pal twenty four seven.

After rummaging through your thoughts, you grab your saddlebag and head out through the portal door. You take a look up at the morning sky upon stepping through, and breath in the clean air. “Another beautiful DAYAGH!”

Suddenly, you are tackled from behind as you feel a nuzzling on the side of your cheek. “Anon! My prince!” says a familiar cheery voice from behind you. Seems Diamond was anticipating you...somehow. Was she just waiting near the fountain all morning?

You just laid there, allowing her to cuddle on you. You weren’t mad. Hell, after the initial knockdown, her nuzzling was quite welcome as it warmed your soul. “Hello, my princess, what’s up?”

“You know what’s up.” She says as she nuzzles you “It’s your final exam! To show everypony just how great you truly are!”

You continue to lay there as you absorb her loving cuddles. “I’d think they already know after the whole Storm King thing, don’t you think?”

Diamond slowly stops nuzzling and gently rests upon your back, placing her head on yours as she looks forward in a dreamy haze. “But everypony always says you do these things with your horn. Even beating that dragon can be explained by your horn. I mean, ok, they still think you’re great and all. And I know you’re perfect! But some of mother’s friends think you’re just a big cheater. Well, today, you’re gonna prove them all wrong, right?”

Heh…

You nod, letting her head feel the movement of yours. “Yeah, of course!”

“And you’re gonna be careful too, right? T-that’s real fire, you know?” She begins to poke at your helmet, her voice becoming a little meek and shaky. “Mother wanted the course to be kind of dangerous so there wouldn’t be any doubt. But erm, thinking about it now, it’s kind of scary knowing a really big mess up can make you end up being burned.”

“It’s gonna be no problem, trust me. I’ve dealt with worse, and I’m not gonna let a statue beat me! But erm… Hey, Diamond, did you see my dad pass by just now?”

“Mr.Discord? Yeah, I said hi, he said hi, and then he told me you were about to show up. So I got ready to hug you for when you did!” She giggled as she nuzzled right along your neck, her tone becoming a little ‘sultry’. “Eventually, I’ll be able to predict whenever you’ll show up. And I’ll always ready to be there for you...Always.”

Oh, you felt a pleasurable tingle down your spine in the way she said that. But… Did you want that tingle? Did you want her to have the ability to track you down to the ends of Equestria? No… probably not, not at an age where she can’t fuck you yet. Because as much as you enjoy her affectionate company, you don’t think you could handle her when she gets abrasive, not when she can pop out in any place you might be hanging out at. “O-oh yeah...erm, I’d really...erm. That’s pretty cool, I guess. Erm, Diamond? Aren’t we supposed to be going somewhere?”

Suddenly, she jumps up, smashing your back with her hooves as she hops off and gasps in surprise “How could I forget?! How can you impress everypony if we’re still wasting time here!” Diamond suddenly rams her head at your butt as she began to push you along, forcing you to your hooves as you tense up from the quick, yet sharp, pain in your back. “Come on, Anon! You can’t waste any time here! You have an exam to pass! Come on, move those legs! One two, one two!”

Ogh, she didn’t have to smash your back like that. You let out a little bit of a pained groan as she pushes you through town. “O-ok, geez, slow down, a-are we really that short on time?”

“No!” Diamond said as she pushed you along “But I wanna get there before Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight show up! I want a chance to talk to them!”

N-ngh, of course that was worth a slightly aching back. “A-alright then, b-but can you stop pushing? I-I can walk…”

“I know.” Diamond stopped and trotted to your side, looking ahead as you both walked through town. “But what if the princesses get there before we do?”

“Well, I think Twilight is still at her castle, so we already have a good start. Even then, how do you plan to get to them through the crowd?”

Diamond gave you a slick smirk “Anon, did you forget who I am? The princess entrance to the colosseum is closed off to everypony but them… and me.” Diamond giggles “One of the advantages of being a rich pony. If there’s something I want…” She nuzzles her head against yours, giggling softly “then it will be mine”

You try to focus ahead as you spot the train station. Beyond that, several yards beyond the tracks, was the colosseum. However, if Diamond kept her cuddling and sly attitude, you may have to make a beeline back home for some “alone” time with yourself. Even the ache in your back was soothed at this point. “S-sure, so, Diamond… can I ask you a question?”

“Pfft” She chuckles as she gives you a nudge. “As if you couldn’t. You are my coltfriend, afterall. You can ask me anything” There was a slight tenseness in her voice as if she was expecting something wonderful… or terrible.

There was something on your mind as you gazed upon the colosseum’s normal entrance. Ponies entering, in a line that weaved left and right, it made you wonder a few things. “Well, you said there was a Princess entrance. And over there is the normal entrance. So uh, what other entrances are there?”

Diamond hesitated, as if there was a huge weight off her shoulders, and answered accordingly. “A few, there’s also another normal entrance on the other side for ponies who don’t want to wait for this one. Then there’s the princess entrance, as I mentioned. My mother’s personal entrance… Which is also for my father and their friends. Oh, and of course there’s the entrance you and Scootaloo will be using. I know Scootaloo has already gone inside, so really, things won’t start until you and the princesses are ready. Speaking of ready…” Diamond rushes ahead of you, and looks at you as she walks backwards in front of you “What kind of cool move are you going to use to save me? Well...erm. The doll of me” She said, with a hint of jealousy in her voice.

“Cool move?” What did she mean by that?

“You know, one of your cool moves. Like that Showyoucan… Thing… That you do. What? You do have one lined up to wow my mother’s friends, right?” She asked, looking quite pouty as she awaited your answer.

The Shoryuken. Oh god, she thought that was cool? Hell, you did a long time ago. But you’ve used it so many times, usually ending in failure, that you had finally stopped trying to do it unless magic was involved. And even then, she wanted a super cool special move out of you. She wanted to see you be as spectacular as possible, as well as making sure her mother was pleased.

What could you even come up with for a rescue maneuver?

Well, you could just lie…

“It’s gonna be a secret surprise.” You give her a confident yet sly grin as you boop her nose with your hoof, making her stop in her tracks with a heavy blush “Just for you.”

She just stood there for a few moments, giggling and gurgling, most likely imagining you beating up a real dragon to rescue her from her prison. “Oh, Anon, I bet it’s going to be the most amazing thing ever!”

“Oh, I’m sure it will.” Said a snobbish voice from behind… Oh shit.

“M-mother?!” Diamond shook away her love filled haze and immediately stood up straight as she cleared her throat “Mother… Erm, where did you come from? I mean…” She did a curtsy “Hello.”

You felt a dead chill in the air. She managed to sneak up on the both of you.. Somehow. You wondered what she thought of your last words. Was she happy that you could make Diamond smile like that? Or did she not like you basically managing to spirit her away with such simplistic tactics?

You slowly turn, and do a quick bow to her “Mrs. Rich! Good morning! How are you?”

“Bored and miserable… Had to step away from those cretins who think themselves superior. I’m actually glad I ran into you, Anon, there’s a few things I’d like to discuss with you in private before the exam begins.”

S-shit...

“Wait, private? B-but mother, I was hoping to spend some more time with Anon.” Diamond gives her mother big ole sad eyes. “T-the princesses aren’t even here yet. I wanted to talk to him about a few more things before they showed up. Like asking Anon about, erm…” She blushes deep red “Sleeping over at his house for a night. Like, a real sleepover this time… W-which you wouldn’t mind, right?”

W-w-w-wut?! She was going to ask that?! H-holy fuck, erm…

“Of course I wouldn’t… As long as certain conditions are met. Either way, you are still going to be able to speak with the princesses. Remember, we need a gentle and welcoming filly like you to greet them when they arrive. Perhaps, even sit with them…” Spoiled says, purposely not continuing her words as Diamond’s eyes light up.

“R-really? I can sit with the princesses? Erm…” Diamond gulps “Y-you don’t think they’ll mind, do you, mother?”

Spoiled gives her daughter a gentle smile and shakes her head “No, they won’t mind at all. I’m sure they won’t turn away the marefriend of the colt everypony came here to see.” More like she knew they wouldn’t be rude to her if she was a little insistent. Celestia seemed to find her rather delightful last you remembered.

“eeeeeEEEE!” Diamond hopped around, and gave you a kiss on your nose “Anon! I’m going to be able to sit with the princesses! Yay! Yay! Yaerm…” Diamond notices the disapproving look of her mother, and calms herself “Ahrm, indeed, I will make sure I am a pleasant host.” Diamond does a curtsy once again.

“I’m sure you will. Now get going, the princesses will be here soon and Anon will need to be properly briefed before we begin.” Spoiled says, dismissing her daughter as her eyes shift to you.

Diamond acts as dignified as possible as her body shakes in anticipation. She gives you a giddy little grin before marching off towards the princess entrance of the colosseum.

You then look up at Spoiled, whose smile has now turned into a scowl. You worried about her true intentions.

You wait until Diamond is out of earshot before you ask. “Mrs. Rich, ma’am. A-are you alright?” She mentioned “cretins” from before, she had to be annoyed at those she was trying to trounce.

“Follow me, Anon. We’re going to turn around and walk for awhile…” Spoiled started to lead you back the way you came, towards the regular entrance. Though, she was staying by the outer wall of the colosseum. She must have wanted to go the long way around to where you needed to go so she could properly discuss whatever she wanted to discuss. You nod, and follow her. “Tell me, Anon. You’re prepared to win at all costs, right?” She asks.

Considering it was more than her at stake… “Yes, I am. But Mrs. Rich, is this all really necessary? I know you want to impress a bunch of socialites… But…”

“Anon, let me tell you about the upper crust of society.” She doesn’t let you finish your words as she speaks, her tone sounding rather annoyed. “There is no real friendship among those who want to see you under their hooves. Sure, my husband is able to befriend those who actually have a soul. But as the wife of the household, it is up to me to make sure any and all competitors understand who is the best”

Well, that was rather blunt. So that’s all it really was then? “So you set this whole thing up for just that? I don’t mean to sound rude...But erm, couldn’t you just buy them out or outperform them or something? Again, not to be rude or anything… But you’re putting me and somepony else in the way of injury just for something so… petty…” ugh, you sounded so… moralistic.

“Not all of them are competitors, Some are just acquaintances that bug me. And to answer your question, no, there’s no other way. I don’t think you understand, Anon, but you are the hero colt and my future son-in-law. Everypony knows of your amazing feats already. But there are some who’d rather focus on your origins and upbringing, rather than what you can do. And so they feel the need to ‘politely’ bring it up during dinner conversation” Spoiled lets out a low growl “And, I’m tired of it.” She takes a moment to breath, then continues. “So, after learning about your little tussle with the dragon, I knew word would spread about it rather quickly. Especially with your father ranting and raving about it all over town. That, and the fact you are nearly done with your training with our local Wonderbolt, gave me an idea to show everypony the truth about you, Ponyville, and my family. It took a lot of money to get this all set up within the day, a LOT of money. So much so that failure could bring ruin should something go wrong. Even more so due to the fact we have two princesses among us.”

What the fuck was she on about?

Spoiled smirked about that one, as if you had said something “I know, I am truly amazing for being able to have the princesses over for this event, along with all the Wonderbolts as well. That is why it is especially important that nothing goes wrong. You must be able to beat the target time with little to no accidents whatsoever. I trust in your skill, Anon, I really do. I wouldn’t have made these arrangements if I didn’t trust in your abilities. Which, by the way, brings me to your little friend…”

And that raised red flags right there. “Woah! Woah! Mrs. Rich, I get it… sort of. You want to show everypony you’re the best. But if you think I’m going to mess up Scootaloo for you, then you’re wrong. And if you insist? Well…” Ogh, it nearly made you fearful on your next few words “I’ll walk out, right now.”

Spoiled groans as she stops and puts a hoof to her face “And of course, I can’t let everypony know your actual I.Q. either, because that is one ridiculously stupid remark. I don’t want you to ‘mess her up’. I need you to help her along! I need you to make absolutely sure that you both clear the course. That includes using some kind of teamwork to rescue that doll. You can’t fail…” She grabs you, brings you close, and brings her eyes close to yours “Cannot… Fail.”

You shiver from her sudden grab, then slowly shift your eyes left and right in a meek fashion before looking back at her intense stare. “Y-yeah… Erm, uh. And uhm… Why is this the plan? J-just asking…” Like no, seriously, you didn’t expect that.

She raises her head and groans ever louder as she continues her trek. “Because! They are the aristocrats of CANTERLOT, which they believe to be the best place to live. If you both pass the test, it shows that Ponyville, it’s princess, and even the elements that live here aren’t the only thing we have to be proud about. Ponyville, the supposed backwater town and place I reside in, produces fillies and colts of pure excellence no matter the class. As for you, you make the foals in Celestia’s school look like a joke, horn or no. Everypony seeing you both brave through a course such as this with finesse,skill, and teamwork will know exactly why I choose to live here. Yes…” Spoiled started to cackle a little evilly “They will know that their bloodlines are absolute horsefeathers at every front! Nyahahaha!... Ah… Hmmm… Erm.” She calms down, and straightens her mane “In any case, just do your best, Anon. I know you can do it… Ahh, here we are.” You both arrive at another entrance guarded by two suited ponies, the entrance itself was an arch like every other one. You wouldn’t even be able to tell this was your entrance if it wasn’t for the two ponies guarding it “Rainbow Dash is waiting to brief you inside. But before I let you go, do you have any questions?”

After that laugh, you found yourself stunned and chilled to the bone with the feeling of a familiar aura. You only had one question. “A-are you Chrysalis?”

“What?” Spoiled asked, confused.

“N-nothing… Erm, I’m just… Gonna go…” You walked off, stepping backwards towards the entrance as the two guardsponies let you through, your eyes never leaving Spoiled in case her eyes suddenly glow green or something. Holy fuck, she’s goddamn insane when she puts her mind to it. All this to raise her goddamn social standing and nothing more. Dammit Mr.Rich, how do you deal with her? She must have used an ungodly amount of money, for sure, to set this up. To the point, in her words, would bring ruin if you fucked up… Or Scootaloo did. No pressure, Anon, you just REALLY had to account for two ponies here. You can do it!

When you do step through, you find yourself in a rather large and long lobby with cushy couches, lanterns on the nicely patterned walls, and beautiful red carpeting that led all the way to the other exit, which you could only guess leads to the course. In front of one of the couches was Rainbow Dash, pacing left and right, wearing a coach’s cap and whistle, and speaking to Scootaloo about the course. She was filling her with courage and determination. Well, of course she was, she wanted her to win… In one piece.

Scootaloo was sitting on the couch, looking determined and happy, her usual helmet placed on her head. She looked really joyful to be with Rainbow, And why wouldn’t she? She was being directed by her favorite hero. But then something caught you as off…

Babs was here, sitting next to Scootaloo as she listened to Rainbow Dash’s words. Was she… Competing too? Wut? You’d think Sweetie Belle and Applebloom would be here if she was here, so it could be that. Well, one way to find out. “Hey guys! I’m here!”

Rainbow Dash stops and looks over to you with a grin “Well, it’s about time. Hey, Rockhead!”

Scootaloo looks over to you, grins, hops off her couch, and rushes over to you to give you a hug. “Anon! Look!” She hops back and shows off a badge on her chest. It was a good quality looking medal with the Wonderbolt’s emblem on it. “Captain Spitfire gave it to me! She said it makes me an honorary Junior Wonderbolt! I’m practically like Rainbow Dash now! Isn’t that cool?!” She said as she hopped about happily.

That was pretty heartwarming to you, you give her a gentle smile. “Super cool, why did she give it to you though? Besides the obvious, of course”

“She believes in me! Just like Dash does! She told me it takes guts to take on something like this and, ahrm.” Scootaloo clears her throat, and stands tall and proud “I do got a lot of guts! I am a Junior Wonderbolt after all”

Rainbow Dash giggles as she pats Scootaloo’s head gently “Relax there, squirt. Remember, a Wonderbolt is as careful as they are great. Don’t get ahead of yourself when you get out there, ok?” Heh, that didn’t sound like her at all. You’d think Rainbow Dash would tell her to just be as attention whoring as possible. It was cute, she really was worried about Scootaloo. Or maybe she just matured or something. You dunno...

“Don’t worry! I got this! All I gotta do is smash that time, right?” Scootaloo looked back at her wings and gave them a flitter, she then looked towards the exit with a confident smirk “Easier done than said.”

Adorable. Well, if she was confident, then that meant she was gonna try her best without any doubt. You were going to need that to fulfill both Rainbow’s and Spoiled’s request. But then you look to Babs, wondering why she was here. “Babs, hey, what’s up? Where’s Applebloom and Sweetie Belle?”

“With the peanut gallery. As for me, came to give Scootaloo and you some advice before they throw you to the lions.” Babs said as she hopped off the couch and looked towards the exit, blowing her mane up a little when it got in her face “Yep, Mrs. R really overdid it. She has the whole thing set up like one of those crazy attractions over at Las Pegasus. Good thing I know how they pretty much work or else you guys would have been in a real world of hurt.”

Las Pegasus? Attractions? “What? What do you mean by that?”

Babs walks over to you and knocks on your forehead “Are ya kiddin’ me? Let me spell it out for you, these things are meant to trip up ponies to make em pay more moola to try again. Sure, you ain’t payin’, but if you don’t know the trick to em, then you’re gonna fail for sure.”

You swat her hoof away as you look at her, a little annoyed both at her knocking and the fact she didn’t seem to have faith in your natural abilities. “Hey! Come on, they don’t look that tough. Only real danger is that last one. I can do the rest, no problem.”

“Listen to her, Anon. She knows her stuff.” Rainbow Dash warns.

“Yeah, I know I’m already pretty good. But there’s stuff even I wouldn’t have considered without Bab’s help!” Scootaloo too, urges you to listen.

“Ok… Ok, sheesh. Alright, fine… Ern, so there’s a trick to them, huh? What is it then?” You ask. You found it a little odd Babs seemed to have this sort of insider info on an obstacle course. Even weirder however… “I mean, just saying, seems odd that Mrs. Rich would set us up to fail like that with a course we are meant to lose.”

“She probably didn’t realize it when she had all those worker ponies contracted. Really, you gotta know what you’re buyin’ into before you set these kinds of things up. Makes you look really dumb if everything goes wrong. But that’s what happens when you rush everything. Anyway, as I said, all of those obstacles were meant to trip you up, so here’s how to get past em…” And so, Babs went on to explain to you the tricks to the course.

First was the tube. She told you many ponies would get stuck or end up getting tired trying to get out of the rotating tube. The trick was to go in when the first bend was just about to go down. That way you can slide and push yourself along the poles. Then you are supposed to stop at the middle, and wait until the other half of the bend goes down, and simply repeat.

The next one was the pushing obstacle. Apparently, despite being on a track, it also has a spring that reacted when a certain pressure is reached. It was meant to slam it’s pusher backwards when they press in too much without stop. The trick was simple, stop pushing every few feet and take a few steps back to relieve pressure on the spring, and then keep on going, and repeat until you reach the other side.

The platforms? You felt you could do something like that without help, given your gaming prowess, but you said nothing as Babs went on to explain the trick. As confident as you were, even you knew what was at stake. Sure, you got a little arrogant when she mentioned the tricks beforehand, but that’s natural… You just tend to lose yourself sometimes. Anyway, the trick to the platforms was to wait for them to NEARLY align on the first set of jumps. Then, you had to make a set of consecutive jumps in a particular way. The first jump was at an angle towards the incoming platform, the second jump was to jump at the same angle you jumped the first time rather than aiming for the next platform. You thought it odd, but she explained that the momentum of the first platform will curve your jump enough to land on the platform, and that aiming for it doesn’t work due to said momentum, and the fact that waiting would cause you to miss the jump altogether. Then, it was the third jump that you make aim, as the middle platform didn’t move from it’s spot at all. You then repeat said jumps to get to the other side and to the next obstacle.

For the next two obstacles? Even Babs was at a loss for those two. The dragon obstacle, she admitted, was something that would never be commissioned as an attraction. And the tight vertical space up to said obstacle was just pure skill, and required a knowledge of climbing in the first place to manage. She said that she had confidence in the both of you to clear it anyway. But somehow, you just knew, she had her doubts. “..And there you go, that’s all I know. You can remember all that, right?” Babs asked you, looking into your eyes to see any sign of confusion.

But no, it seemed pretty cut and dry to you, so you nod in confidence. “Yeah, I got it. I’m ready to do this! Let’s go!”

“Yeah, hold your horses there, Anon. Still waiting for em to open that exit over there. As for being ready, did you do any of your morning stretches?” Dash asks you, though she could already see on your dumbfounded face that it was a big no.

“I mean… I walked here.” You say, rather sheepishly. Knowing she was gonna make you do exercises. Ugh, you hated exercising. It was busywork...

“Ugh, Alright, Anon. get goin’, I wanna see you stretch, jump, and get all those kinks out! I mean, sheesh! You’re not me, you know? You can’t just go into an obstacle course without loosening up first!” Rainbow Dash barks at you “Come on! One, two, one, two! Stretch those glutes!”

“Yeah, come on, Anon!” Scootaloo joins along, trying to motivate you. “She’s right! Foals like us gotta stretch it out first! Like this!” Scootaloo started to exercise and stretch with more vigor than you did, obviously trying to impress Rainbow Dash.

“Good work, Scootaloo! Show him how it’s done!” Rainbow Dash cheered her on.

D-dammit, these two. You understood that Rainbow Dash only wanted you to be ready, but her ego and Scootaloo’s fangasms weren’t doing you any favors. Besides, why did you need to stretch so much? You never had to before for anything dangerous and...wait, what is Babs doing?

She was staring at you exercise, rather intently, with a hint of… Blush?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

HOLY FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK WAS WITH THE GODDAMN FEMALES OF THE APPLE FAMILY?! FIRST APPLEBLOOM! NOW BABS?! AND NOT TO MENTION GRANNY SMITH AND HER SEEING YOU AS A BEAR EVERY FUCKING TIME! AND APPLEJACK?! APPLEJACK?!... Applejack… Man, she really is boring.

When Babs noticed you looking back at her, she quickly looked away as she brushed her mane back and hopped back up onto the couch. For sure, she was admiring your cute yet more toned physique. Ok, now you were glad Diamond had been turned away by her mother. You didn’t need a round two with this shit.

You act casual, and look over to Babs as you did some pushups. “Hey, Babs, you alright?”

“Nothen…” Babs, as well, tried to act casual. “Just thinking about something…”

Probably your ass… “Right, you just looked a little off all of a sudden.”

Babs took a peek at you, then turned away again. “I said it wasn’t anything.” She insisted, huffed, then looked at you with curiousness “But I gotta ask, because it’s been buggin’ me since Applebloom sent me those letters. Why Diamond? I ain’t dissin’ her or anything like that. But you were friends with the crusaders first, right? I know Applebloom had a crush on you, so did Sweetie Belle… Um.” She looks to Scootaloo “Hey, did you have a crush on him?”

“WHAT?!” Scootaloo nearly fell over as all her concentration was nearly lost. “No! Ugh, Anon is cool and all. But his priorities are all messed up! He doesn’t even think Rainbow Dash is that cool! Kinda rude considering she’s been training him all this time.”

“I’m fine with that. I mean, I already know Anon can be super egotistical. But he’s still a good guy. If he was old enough, I’d take him out for some cider. And as far as coolness is concerned, I’d have to put myself… What’s that word Twilight used? Right, iota, Anon is a few iotas under me, which is ok in my book.” Rainbow Dash says, her ego unbroken.

But Scootaloo’s ego takes a hit as she looks to Rainbow Dash with a pout “A-am I c-cool? Rainbow Dash?”

Rainbow Dash snickered as she gave her a little boop on the nose “You’re practically family, Scootaloo. That’s a whole different kind of cool.” These words, it immediatly made Scootaloo cry happy little tears as she embraced Rainbow Dash in a hug, thanking her. You could tell just from Rainbow Dash returning such affection that she was true to her word.

Babs just looks at the two happily for a moment before looking back at you with a smirk. “So, you gonna answer that question or what?”

Right…

You pull your attention from the pair and look to her, trying to seem stoic in your answer. “I saved her life, she adored me, and I… Kinda fell in love with that. If you want a mature answer, Babs, it’s because I know that if I was ever lonely or feeling bad, she’d do her best to cheer me up. Sweetie Belle kinda seems selfish at times, to be truthful. And Applebloom… Applebloom…” You could see her raise an eyebrow from the notion you were going to say something negative about her cousin, you must have killed any attraction she had for you quick just by bringing her up in any kind of negative connotation.

You were silent, prompting her to approach you with a hostile stare “Yeah? What about my cousin? Hrm?”

You went silent. Holy crap, she looked like she wanted to hurt you really bad. And what could you do about that? You couldn’t hurt a girl! Well you could, but everyone and their mother would bitch at you about it. And this wasn’t the best of times for that considering what was at stake. You gulped “U-umm…”

Babs suddenly seems even more furious as she pulls her right front hoof back and… Flicks your nose? “Hah! Did I scare you that bad? So much for the hero colt. Relax, I was just messing with you.”

Dammit! HOW COULD YOU FALL FOR THAT ONE!? You knew for a fact that characters like these never get into a physical altercation that easily! Dammit, Anon! Fucking… “Ugh, cheap move. You’re a girl, I had to be ready in case it wasn’t a trick!”

“Sure, sure… Whatever you say. Relax, Anon.” Babs smirks at you as she backs up onto the couch with a giggle “If I really wanted to spook you, I’d tell you about this bridge back at home. Y’know…” She looks at you darkly “The one where nopony ever comes back from if they roast marshmallows under it. I’m sure you heard the legend. Though, the ways I see it, it seems to be true.”

“W-what?!” Scootaloo said, shivering from those words. “T-that can’t be real!”

Babs shrugs “Dunno myself…” She then really gives you the evil eye “But most of my sources says it’s true. Now that’s pretty spooky, ain’t it?”

But Babs’s disappointment slowly grows when she noticed you didn’t seem to react to that one at all. She found it odd, as everyone she’s told the story to usually seems to fear it. But to you? It was a stupid legend and a stupid attempt to give you another spook. Real childish shit, really. In fact, it gives you an idea. “It isn’t”

“Wha?! Yeah right! It’s practically true! They even say that right under the bridge, you can see chalk drawings suddenly appear, depicting the victims’ last moments before their taken!” Babs again, tries to spook you. But it only ends up making Scootaloo shiver behind Rainbow Dash. “You don’t think that’s crazy scary? You’re joshin’ me, right?” Babs was in disbelief.

She wants scary? Fuck it, time for scary. “Babs, I’ve seen things you wouldn’t even be able to comprehend. Like this one guy? Freddy Krueger. He hurt foals… He hurt them real bad… sometimes to their grave.”

“W-what?” Babs said, with sudden quivers in her voice, her expression showing she was the one now being spooked.

“Oh yeah…” You said with a smirk as you began to pace about, locking eyes with her “Ended up burning alive one day by some of the parents. But he vowed vengeance on their kids, through their dreams. Oh yeah, this guy was the anti-Luna. He would come in your dreams and do terrible things…”

“I-I don’t like this story… W-where did you even hear about this?” Scootaloo asked, scared to high heaven by your words. She couldn’t even hide it, it was much worse than anything she heard before.

“Yeeeeah, this is… I mean, I always wanted to hear a story that was super scary. B-but, this seems a bit much…” Even Rainbow Dash was uncomfortable, was she shivering? You thought you notice her tense for a moment.

“W-what do you mean by terrible things? C’mon, e-even if this was true, y-you can’t hurt nopony through their dreams.” Babs said with a gulp, clearly becoming terrified by your totally not stolen story.

“Oh, it was much worse than hurt. He would skewer, slice, rip their skin clean off, drop them, burn them, BLOW THEM UP INTO TINY PIECES. I mean this guy? He has a clawed horseshoe he uses to scare foals by tapping at metal pipes, or just goring them with it. You could tell he was coming by hearing these ghostly foals sing a song about him getting you, if you heard that song… You were done! And the best part of all this? Whatever he did to them in their dreams, they would scream a bloodcurdling scream in their sleep as their very bodies in the real world become a horrible guts n brain mess! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!” You cackled evilly, causing ALL THREE of the girls to grab each other in pure fright as they all screamed in terrible fear.

Wait… Not three… Four? Four screams?

You slowly look towards the exit to the course, which was now open, as Spitfire stood a few feet away from you. It seemed she had come in to get you all while you were in the middle of your story. But her yellow coat was partially white, her mane looked a little distorted, and her eyes were filled with fear from what you had said. Cleary, she had never heard of anything so gory.

“C-captain Spitfire? Erm, you ok?” Oh geez, you didn’t mean to spook her. Hell, you didn’t even know you could do that.

“W-wha? OH! NGh.. Ahrm” Spitfire very quickly composed herself, bringing her sunglasses down to cover her eyes. “I was just witnessing how your story managed to spook our young junior Wonderbolt. And sheesh, Crash, really? REALLY?! T-that’s j-just terrible, the w-way you reacted. S-should kick you out of the Wonderbolts just for that. Y-you’re lucky I-I’m nice though. Ahrm… Anyway, five minutes everypony, then you gotta get your k-keisters out there. Already did the o-opening speech and everything. I’m a… Ok, gonna go now… Seeya.” She very slowly turned around, and wobbled out. Was she even grossed out by that? Man, ponies are fucking weak… Heh.

“Yeah… I’m just gonna step out for some fresh air. I mean, I wasn’t scared or anything… Just… Wow, it’s really hot in here, huh? Seeya out there, you two” Rainbow Dash said with a weak chuckle as she stumbled out.

“W-wait! I-I feel hot too!” Scootaloo called out, rushing towards Rainbow Dash. Wanting to be by her side for comfort.

You then looked at the stunned Babs, and then smirk at her. “How was that?”

“Yeah… Wow” Babs had to lay her head down on the couch as she slowly gathered her senses “Now that’s s-scary. W-where did you even hear about something like that? I mean, that’s something even adults wouldn’t talk about. It’s crazy”

You shrugged arrogantly “It’s just a story. I don’t see how anypony could get spooked by that. I mean, like I said, I got spooked by your approach because I didn’t know if you were actually gonna hit me or not. As I said, can’t hit a girl.” HAHAHA! FUCKING VICTORY!

“Y-yeah, I think I get it now. I think I get your appeal too, there’s no colt tough enough to hear a story like that without falling over. You really are tough.”

You snicker as you rub your hoof along your chest “I don’t like to brag, but remember, I did do most of the work in defeating the Storm King.”

“Yeah, right, for sure. Anyway, erm, I wasn’t actually upset about what you may have thought about Applebloom. You two just don’t fit, that’s all. You may be Discord’s kid, but I guess that would just make somepony like you just want a way to relax and be comfortable. A filly that loves you and has a ton of cash can do that.” Babs surmises, figuring that to be the only reason as to why you chose her. It was mostly true, but there was also the fact that Diamond could be forceful as fuck if she wanted to be. Truly something you didn’t want to provoke too much out of her, but you did find it rather enticing sometimes.

“Yeah, and considering my Dad, money isn’t a big issue anyway. Don’t laugh, but sometimes I just like to lay down, relax, and enjoy a good cuddle. That doesn’t sound too wimpy, does it?” You ask, genuinely interested in what she thought since it seemed she was connecting with you about how you felt.

“Yeah, I get it. It all makes sense now. And Diamond is pretty lucky.” Babs said as she got up, and gave you a gentle touch on your nose with her own “Because you’re pretty cute.”

DON’T YOU DARE, ANON! DON’T YOU EVEN FUCKING TURN RED!

“But I don’t think I could take all that cuddling stuff for too long, sounds boring. Besides, with all the stuff you can do in the city, who has time to sit around? Anyway, I’m gonna check on Scootaloo, make sure she’s ok. We only got like two minutes left, so if you gotta do a few more stretches, do em quick, ok?” Babs said as she stepped out, giving you one last look to take in your “cute”

She hadn’t noticed that you had frozen in place from her words and her touch. You were frozen for half a minute before you turned red and broke out in a sweat, falling over and twitching. “W-why can’t I just have a harem? I-it’d be so much easier…”

It was time…

You were finally ready to step out and complete your physical training. To prove to yourself, and now many more, what you were capable off without the horn.

You steel yourself as you finally feel ready to take on the challenge without hesitation.

When you step outside, you could see the colosseum full of ponies as they cheer out loud at your sudden appearance. You could see a platform near the start of the course where Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo, and Spitfire were standing on as Babs started to step off to head back towards the lobby you just exited.

Spitfire had a mic, but she wasn’t saying anything at the moment as she looked at you, waiting for you to step up to the platform. You began to approach as the crowd's cheers began to fill you with determination. As you look up, you could see two fancy booths. One had Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight, as well as Diamond and Spike. Celestia seemed to be having a delightful little chat with Diamond as Spike was doing his best to keep an obviously shaky Twilight from losing it. The other booth held the Riches themselves, and the “dignitaries” that Spoiled was trying to one up. You could also see a few familiar faces among the crowd as well. The CMC, Lyra, Bonbon, Pinkie Pie, You even saw Scrappy… But no Discord, he was obviously watching from somewhere. And also, no Fluttershy…

Mnnnn...

As you further approached the platform, Babs looked to you with a nod and said the genuine caring words of “Good luck” as she passed you by.

When you finally stepped up onto the platform, Rainbow Dash was quick to approach you before you got a chance to do anything else. “Alright, Rockhead, gotta give up the horn for this. Last thing I need is anypony accusing you of being a cheater. I swear, would knock em straight out if they heckled you” She said as she held her hoof out towards you.

Of course you’d have to give up the horn for this. Ugh, you felt very uncomfortable giving it up, but you knew Rainbow Dash was right. You felt, in an instance like this, you could trust her with it. So you give it up, as well as your saddle bag. “Here, so what now?”

“Just go stand next to Scootaloo. Captain Spitfire is gonna signal you both off when she finishes up this whole announcement thing.” Rainbow Dash says as she takes your things. She then smiles warmly towards you, and puts her hoof on your shoulder “You gotta be careful with that final trick, Anon. You and Scootaloo better knock this whole thing out, and show em all what you’re both made of.”

Rainbow Dash…

You could remember the early times you had with her. Her arrogance, her suspicions of you, her jerky attitude. But as you got to know her and hang around her, you began to realize she wasn't as top cunt as you once thought, enough to finally take her training course. For awhile, you had avoided this as you were too stubborn to want to deal with Rainbow Dash. But after losing to Tempest in your first encounter with her, after she had dodged everything you threw at her, even you had to accept there was merit to being athletic and strong. And so, it led to you accepting her offer, bettering yourself and your health, and feeling fulfilled with who you are as a hero. And Rainbow Dash herself was the one who made it happen, and you could feel that through your training with her, you and her had formed a bond you never thought would happen.

Still…

She wasn’t that cool…

You stood next to Scootaloo, standing proud for the crowd. Scootaloo took a moment to look at you with a smile, but she said nothing to you. She may have been instructed to keep focus, or maybe she just didn’t want to bother you. So you look back at her instead and ask “You alright, Scootaloo?”

“Huh? Oh…” Scootaloo looked at the crowd, and felt a bit of a nervous chill “It’s nothing, just thinking, that’s all.”

Scootaloo…

If there was one thing you couldn’t shake off, it was this brotherly feeling towards her. Was it her friendliness towards you? Or was it the fact that you still felt heavily responsible for what happened to her back when the changelings were stuck in your basement? Either way, you give her a friendly smile “If you’re worried about anything, relax. I’m gonna be with you, remember? I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise”

Scootaloo didn’t say anything at first, she looked down, then back at you with a weak smile “Thanks, Anon…”

You meant it. In the end, it wasn’t for Dash or Spoiled. It was your brotherly duty to protect her, no matter what. “No prob, we’re gonna do fine. We’re in this together, and we’re gonna dominate this together, understand?”

She nods, and almost dares for a hug. But with so many watching, she just holds back after taking a step towards you, and stands tall once more with only a single happy tear in her eye showing her true feelings towards your words.

“Alright everypony, I want you all to take note that this isn’t some grand show or anything close to it. This is a test for two young foals, a test to show just how much progress they have gained through their training. Passing this exam will be a sign of proof to themselves and those who witness it that they are truly ready for anything the world has to throw at them. Anon and Scootaloo, these two foals have come a long way in their own way to get this far, and given how this course is beyond the norm one is supposed to take, beating the target time will make their victory unquestionable. So to all of you, you better not blink!” Spitfire had started making the final announcement on her own accord. Although she seemed annoyed in her tone to be talking in such a grandiose way, she eventually got into it, she felt a sense of pride to be presenting two foals such as you and Scootaloo. “Because I can promise you that they're gonna crush this course with blazing speed! Heh, and I should know, one way or another, they were trained by one of my best.” Spitfire looks to Rainbow Dash with a spirited nod, making Rainbow Dash herself feel a buildup of pure pride. To the point that, as the crowd cheered and Spitfire hurried you two along to the starting line, Rainbow Dash flew up high to start the show.

Indeed, Spitfire was telling you both to get ready as quick as possible as she knew Rainbow Dash would cry out to start the run without even realizing it.

You and Scootaloo looked at each other with a fierce nod and sense of victory as Rainbow Dash flew high up in the air and cheered “LET’S GET GOING, EVERYPONY! AND I SWEAR! YOU BETTER CHEER FOR THESE TWO! NOW, ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, GO!” Rainbow Dash signaled as a team of Wonderbolts flew out in a wing formation from a nearby cloud. It seemed they had been waiting inside for a signal to just suddenly fly out and start the run with a bang. They were releasing a rainbow of explosions behind them that entertains and wows the crowd.

As for you and Scootaloo? Well… “Let’s go, Scootaloo!”

“Right!” Scootaloo yelled out as you both charged forward.

This was it, the final phase of your training, Spoiled’s revenge against the upper crust, and Scootaloo’s dream getting ever closer to being fulfilled. You couldn’t screw this up, you just can’t!

First were the hurdles, they were long enough for you and Scootaloo to run side by side and jump without smashing into each other. As you both jumped, Scootaloo managed to start to pull ahead by using her little wings for extra thrust. You were both impressed and jealous at such a feat as she slowly began to pass you up. Were you really unable to keep your momentum after a jump?

As you hopped and jumped, you could hear the crowd cheer you both on. But what about Spoiled? You knew what you had to do, but falling behind Scootaloo was probably not really good at the start of the exam. But how were you going to pull ahead? You had to use your head on this… Oh wait.

Since this was a battle against the clock, you knew there’d be no penalty for missing a hurdle. Or rather, smashing right through them with your head! You leaned your skull forward and started to smash through the hurdles without slowdown. In fact, your brute force was actually getting you past Scootaloo. Yes, it seemed your normal running speed was greater than hers, most likely due to the fact all the running around town you do already. Scootaloo may not have to make any jumps anymore, but she was having trouble keeping up with you as you clear the hurdles. Ha! There you go, Anon, keeping pace!

Next were the tires. Amazingly, you already had this one in the bag as you quickly step your right hooves and left hooves in the appropriate tires as Scootaloo loses even more ground with her attempts of side hopping into them. You thought about slowing down, but dammit, you were actually on a roll over here! HAHA!

After passing the tires, the mud trench was next. When you stepped into it, you found yourself actually slowing down and slipping about as you tried to focus on running forwards. But with your balance so wavy, you found it difficult just moving in a straight line. “D-dammit, w-what’s wrong with me? I should be able to do this one...huh?” As you nearly get halfway, you hear a whirring sound going on behind you. And whatever it was, it was blasting towards you at a wicked pace.

You don’t even have a chance to look back as you are suddenly splashed with mud. Some of the crowd were in laughter and cheers at whatever happened. When you clean off your face and look forward, you could see Scootaloo speeding through, flapping her wings like a hummingbird to jet through the trench like a hovercraft.

“Fuck!” you cry out as you start rushing forward, tripping and sliding as you try to get out of the damn trench! Scootaloo was already on the climb and you were way back here! She was gonna be at the final obstacle at this point! You had to move!

It takes you a bit, enough to make you fear making Spoiled look bad, but you do get out of the trench. Covered in mud, sure, but you were out. You also found yourself frustrated at Scootaloo as you reached the incline board and shook yourself off before climbing. When you looked up, you were surprised to see that she was still climbing it as well. She was having trouble keeping her hooves in place due to how muddy they were. She was sliding back every now and again as she held on tight the best she could. You just stared for a moment, it was just a diagonal incline climb, how could she be having trouble?

But when you heard, even from the beginning of the climb, her whine that she can’t fail Rainbow Dash, your heart sunk. She said it in a strained way that almost sounded like she was in tears, you realized that any jealousy you had was petty at that moment. And this realization was good to have so early in the run too, god only knows what would have happened if you got jealous during the end. “Don’t worry, Scoots, I got ya!” You cry out to her as you quickly wipe your hooves along the board, take a few steps back, and just start running up the incline as quickly as possible. Maybe it was cartoon physics, or maybe it was divine intervention, but you weren’t slowing down as you catch Scootaloo upon your forehead and start pushing her up until your both reach the top and tumble forward, stopping right behind the slow spinning tube.

“Wha, huh?” Scootaloo fell on her tummy, and stood up in surprise when she realized she had reached the top with your help. She looked down at you and noticed you were on your back. And then that's when you yourself could see it, as if looking into her very soul...

As she reached her hoof to you and said “C’mon, Anon! We can’t slow down for even a second!”, you realized that your jealousy, even as short as it was, was still misplaced. You let out a sigh of relief and chuckle as you grab her hoof, thanking deep down that your jealousy was quickly killed as you try to steel your mind as to not let it happen so easily. That kind of stuff had gotten you in trouble before, your emotions to be exact. Even before Tempest, it had led to you getting smashed, namely by a Chimera you wouldn’t have had to be smooshed by had you thought things out a little better.

When you and Scootaloo approach the spinning tube, you look to each other and try to figure something out. “Ok, Scoots. Do you wanna go in first, or should I? I know there are poles in there placed to slow us down. So if we both go in, it’s really possible we might get stuck.”

“Well, the clock is still ticking, right? So we’re gonna need a quicker way through. I saw how you handled those hurdles… so, uh… Think you can do that to the poles too? Your helmet will protect your head enough, right?” Scootaloo asked. It seems she really was impressed with how you handled the hurdles back at the start of the run. “I mean, you were pretty unstoppable back there. Not even that incline stopped you!”

How did you not even think of that beforehand? Your head was pretty damn durable. If it could smash through those hurdles, then some poles shouldn’t mean crap! Hell, you didn’t even need to follow Bab’s advice for this one. “I was pretty unstoppable, wasn’t I? Ok, Scoots, stand back!” You reach up and push your helmet a tad forward as you prepare to step into the rotating tube. “Oh yeah! It’s Anon time!”

“You can do it!” Scootaloo cheered you on as you waited for the bend in the tube to decline downwards. Once it did, you went down head first until you slid into some poles stabbed across the tube randomly along the inside. Holy shit! This really was a quick one night rush job. Even if you were to try to get through it normally, the poles were placed in such a way that squeezing between them was near impossible. Even worse! They were made of metal, when you expected wood.

“Oh no…” You silently whined as you prepared to smash your head on the first pole. You had to remember who this was for, you had to remember that you couldn’t fail. “S-Scootaloo! Follow me!” You said in a shaky voice as you quickly started to smash your head down at the metal poles as hard as you can. Oh god! Even with the helmet, tearing through the poles , this was hurting like hell!

“Woah…” Scootaloo said as she passed by the broken metal “Anon… Are you alright over there? These are made of metal… Geez, you really did get stronger.” She was further impressed by how powerful you seemed.

As you reach the middle of the rotating tube, you looked ahead as you felt your balance and sight begin to waver. And yet, even as the tube turns enough for you to make your way down once again, you found the strength to move forward. Or maybe it was because you had trouble thinking at that point. “Oh, i-it’s no problem Scootabloom Belle. Hey, have you ever been licked in the ponut before?”

“Doughnut? Uh, I normally just...eat them?” Scootaloo said as she slowly followed, finding your question odd.

“...Ugh, I hate vore” You say to yourself as you begin to smash through the last set of poles, finally breaking through as you wobble forward out of the tube and fall forward, right on your face as your body twitches on it's own. “I feel like I was hit by a train… Ugh.”

Scootaloo quickly stepped out of the tube before it rotated back up, and stepped to your side as she leaned down to ask you a question. She didn't seem to think you had a concussion or anything, she probably just thought you were a little dazed, hence her lack of urgency. She was very curious about something though. “Anon? You ok? Can I ask you something?”

You just groan, looking ahead at the large pushblock that was the next challenge. “Y-yeah?”

“What’s vore? Does that have to do with eating doughnuts or something? Never heard of it before.”

Your eyes go wide as you immediately stand up and look at her with crazy eyes, realizing that should she ever find out, her mind would be corrupted FOOORRREEEVVVERRR. As her pseudo-bro, you could not allow this! “THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS! AND IT’S A DUMB WORD! STUPID DUMB! DON’T EVER SAY IT AGAIN! IT’S SO UNCOOL IT MAKES STEVE URKEL LOOK LIKE THE SUAVEST GUY EVER!”

“Ok! Ok! Woah!” Scootaloo stepped back, a little scared from your reaction. “Ok then, a-at least I know you’re ok. Erm… But… I kinda…” Scootaloo felt she was kind of a master when it came to cool and uncool, and there was something you had mentioned yet again that seemed off to her. “I really gotta ask, because I never even heard of that before… But… What is a Steve Urkel?”

What’s a Steve Urkel? Oh god, to be young and of another universe. Sure the character from “Family Matters” didn’t start out so bad when the focus wasn’t on him. But as the show went on, he became a force so powerful and annoying, that you could still hear his annoying laugh and shitty catch phrase echo in your mind. Your crazed phase shatters completely as you let out a heavy sigh and walk past Scootaloo, feeling calm and cool “Don’t worry about it Scootaloo, all it does is bring back painful memories.”

“Did I do that?!” Scootaloo gasped as she rushed up from behind you, looking at you with a sad and apologetic expression “I’m really sorry if I brought up any bad memories from when you were human, Anon. I… forget sometimes, y’know, how bad you said it was for you. You forgive me, right?”

You cringe at her first set of words. But the last set, yeah, you forgot you may have mentioned some things that sounded sadder than what normal foals deal with. You giggle a little as you step up to the push block and put your hoof on it, looking at it with a fierce expression. “Don’t worry about it, Scoots, really, it’s ok. Just do me a favor…”

“Yeah?” Scootaloo asked, as she too readied herself on the pushblock, feeling relieved that you didn’t seem so angry.

“Don’t ever be a Steve Urkel, ok? Ok... Anyway, we have a course to crush, so push!” You began to push on the pushblock as hard as you could.

“Dunno what that first part means… But ok!” Scootaloo said, pumping her hoof as she joined you on the push.

This was by far the easiest of the obstacles. Well, actually, it was only easy thanks to Babs. You both push as hard and quickly as possible, only releasing some pressure every few moments, until eventually you get the pushblock to the other side, allowing you both to stand in front of the next challenge, the rotating platforms… And oh boy, this was much more intimidating up close than it was from afar.

“So, how did Babs say to do this one?” You ask. You were sure you remembered, but at the same time, you needed to make sure you weren’t mistaken.

“We wait for the platform, jump, then we jump straight to catch the next one, then jump towards the middle platform. Easy peasy, I’m not even worried about this one.” Scootaloo said as she prepared herself “I do jumps like these all the time on my scooter, and if I can do it, so can you, right Anon?”

You already got this far, and you felt platforming shouldn’t be too hard. You walk over to the edge of the platform you’re on and look down at the water. There was a ladder that only led up to the side you’re on. So yeah, falling in would definitely slow you down. “Yeah… No problem, righ-SCOOTS?!” You say in surprise as Scootaloo already jumps, makes the second jump, then jumps again to the middle platform. “Scoots?! What are you doing?!”

“What’s it look like? We still gotta do this under the target time, right? So come on! Don’t be so slow, Anon, sheesh! We’ll never make it if you just stand there!” And just as Scootaloo said, she is able to easily make the jumps as if they were second nature to her. To you, it really was quite amazing to see her manage those jumps,she really was more skilled than she appeared. You really thought you were going to have to carry her most of the way, and boy, were you glad you were wrong.

“Alright! Alright! Heh” You snickered as you prepared to make your jumps. “And I thought I was supposed to be the hero colt! Welp, better not disappoint the crowd. Here… I… GO!” And you go to make your own series of jumps. While not as elegant as Scootaloo’s, you still reach the middle platform to the cheers of the crowd.

“Yeah! C’mon, Anon! One more time!” Scootaloo cheered you on “We only got the climb and the dragon after this!”

Alright, just focus, just do what you did last time. Wait for the platforms to nearly sync up and…GO!

You make your jumps once again, however, this time, you lose your footing on the last platform due to a misstep, making your last jump not being enough to clear the gap. “O-OHHH SHIIII… huh?” You felt like you were hanging from something, and you didn’t feel wet at all. “Huh?” When you look up, you could see Scoots struggling with her forelegs to hold your own hoof as she desperately fluttered her wings to pull herself back. “Scoots?”

“A-Anon! GNNNNGH! C-C’mon! S-start g-getting up already! I-I can’t h-h-h-hold you forever!” Scootaloo said as she strained herself to keep you from falling.

You pulled yourself up upon realizing Scootaloo and caught you, and fell on your belly as Scootaloo fell on her back. “Wow! Scoots! That was…” No seriously, you thought that was it for the run. Scootaloo saving you was ridiculously cool! “That was amazing! I’ve never seen reflexes like that before. You saved me from falling. T-thanks…”

Scootaloo stood up slowly, giving you an accomplished grin “Well, I had to save you, Anon. We gotta finish this thing together, right? Nopony left behind. As for my reflexes… Erm.” Scootaloo chuckled nervously “It was more assuming you might mess up than anything else… That’s still ok, right?”

wut? She thought you were gonna fall anyway?! T-that hurt...

...Fine, just roll with it, she still saved you. Smile, and fucking roll with it. But…

No, geez, fuck man! How could she have expected you to screw up that jump?! You’re a platforming master! Y-you just misstepped, that's all. Happens all the time… “Y-yeah, it’s fine. But…” You take a breath, calming yourself as you walk over to the tight chute that led to the dragon platform. “What about this though? how do we get up here?”

Scootaloo looked upon the chute, and began to circle around it as she looked up. “I dunno…” And then her ears perk up, then droop “But the crowd is calling your name…”

Hm? You barely noticed the crowd at this point, but when you gave a listen, you could hear them chanting “Anon!”. But what they weren’t chanting was… “Scoots, you ok?”

“Yeah, i’m fine…” She said with a low whine as she looked up at you with a fake smile “Everypony really just came to see you, right? I kinda butted in on this in the first place, so I understand. I mean, you’re the hero colt and Rainbow Dash’s trainee, that makes you more than amazing a-” But Scootaloo stops when you put a hoof on her shoulder, you looked at her with a smile “A-Anon?” She looked to you with confusion and sadness.

You may have your differences, and you may get jealous and angry, but Scootaloo was a real friend, one of the only CMC who would stand by your side more often than not. To see her sad because the crowd weren’t rooting for her was not something you’d allow. “Scoots, listen to me. Who cares who they root for? I can see on your face that you do, but you know what? Those ponies up there aren’t Rainbow Dash, or the elements, or the Princesses, Spike, Applebloom, Babs, Sweetie Belle… Why, I bet Scrappy is... erm... tearing up some faces right now for not cheering for you... ”

Scootaloo cringed at that “Ow, I-I don’t think he’d do that… But, he would be pretty upset about it, the not cheering for me thing, I mean. Erm, are you trying to say that all that matters is our friends cheering for me? For us?” Scootaloo’s expression changed to wonder, hoping your reply was a positive one.

You just give her a simple grin. “Pretty much, not like you’re gonna see any of these other guys anyway. Trust me, Rainbow Dash is probably already gushing from when you saved me back there. ‘That’s Scootaloo for you, she really is the true hero here in Ponyville!’ She’d say! “

Scootaloo giggled lightly and waved her hoof at you “Ok, ok, now you’re coming on too strong. But, heh, thanks, Anon, I really needed that.” She does a light jump towards you to give you a big friendly hug, you could hear her softly coo as she nuzzles into you a little. It makes you slightly uncomfortable, as you knew Diamond was watching, but you also knew Scootaloo was just being affectionate in thanks to a friend who cheered her up.

After that, you both nodded to each other and looked upon the shaft once more. “So, got any ideas, Anon?”

You just stare at it. You can’t wall jump, and climbing up the shaft seemed rather difficult given how high up it goes, especially since it’s a straight shot up. “I’m thinking…”

Scootaloo tries giving it a few jumps while pressing her hooves on the sides to try to press herself along the wall, but it just wasn’t good enough, the shaft was just wide enough for her not to be able to press herself firmly to keep in place. “Darn it! Come on! Ugh… There’s got to be a way! We’re wasting time!”

You kept your focus on the shaft as you sifted through every tactic you could think of in every video game you ever played. But none of it, NONE OF IT, was of any use! Fuck! You were both going to lose if you couldn’t think of something!

“If the shaft was a little more tight, we’d be able to press our backs on it and walk up. But darnit…” Scootaloo kicks the side of the shaft with aggravation.

Scootaloo gains your attention with the banging sound of her buck. You look over to her and frown about the entire situation. “Relax Scoots, we’re not gonna be able to think of something if we get upset.”

“I know, but how are we gonna get up there?! Ugh, if only I could fly, I’d get us up there for sure.” Scootaloo said as she tried to push her back along the walls again.

You just watched as you pondered, and as you pondered, an idea outside of gaming started to fill your head. You could remember an animated movie where a llama and a human pressed their backs together to climb up walls as close together as the shaft in front of you. Was that the key? Holy crap! WAIT! DOES THAT EVEN WORK?! “Scoots! I got a plan! That thing you’re trying to do? That’s how we’re gonna do it!”

“Wha? But… It’s not working. I’ve been trying to do it, but I just can’t get it right.” Scootaloo said, confused as to why you thought it was a good plan after she herself had failed multiple times.

“Ahhh! True!” You say with a smirk as you walk past her and into the shaft. You then sit down and put your hooves on one side of the wall. “But if we need to make a tighter space to climb, then how about we just press our backs together until we can press our hooves hard enough to stick in place? Then all we gotta do is sync up our pace as we walk right up.”

“Woah…” Scootaloo walked into the shaft and looked up, she was both impressed and in wonderment “You mean, just walk straight up by pressing our backs together?”

You nod “Exactly!” You look at her with the fierce look of deterministic friendliness “If we’re gonna take down that dragon together, then we’re gonna have to get to it together first! You and me, Scoots! We’re gonna bring it on home!” You hold your hoof out to her “You’re with me, right?”

“To the ends of Equestria!” Scootaloo says with a cheer as she puts her hoof on yours “Let’s go!” She breaks contact and preps her back to be pressed against yours.

Scootaloo, a true blue friend indeed. “To the ends of Equestria” she said, and that made you nearly tear up. When it came to the CMC, Scootaloo truly was the best out of all of them, one you’d definitely take back every “simple-minded” comment and thought you had in the past... if you ever got the chance to talk to her about it without hurting her feelings. In any case, you join your back with hers, and with hope within both your hearts, you attempt to move upwards.

“W-woah! It’s k-kinda tough to move, b-but we’re doing it!” Indeed, both you and Scootaloo were straining yourselves as you both strived to maintain asynchronous movement upwards. But it was, in fact, working, you both were moving up through the chute with the power of teamwork!

“Y-yeah, ngh, we’re almost there! Keep at it, Scootaloo!” You were struggling as much as she was. You thought this would be easier, but it really was tough moving straight up. With every step, your legs and hers shook and buckled. Even as you both reached the top, you could feel your muscles giving out. “N-ngh… S-scootaloo, how’re doing? Y-you ok?” You said with a pant.

“F-fine, ngh, n-never better.” Scootaloo was straining her words harder than you were. “W-we’re almost there! D-don’t give up!” Scootaloo was mustering as much energy she could for the last few steps. Even if she was more tired than you were, she wasn’t close to giving up, her spirit was too strong for that. It inspired you to push yourself as hard as you could to make it to the top.

“Almost... a-almost! NGH, THERE!” Both you and Scootaloo, upon reaching the top, push yourselves forward and grab onto the upper edges of the shaft and tiredly brings yourselves up to the final and largest platform of all. You may have felt tired, but you were still determined to win the fucking day with one of your best pals. “S-scootaloo, we did it! We’re at the top!”

Scootaloo took a moment to rest and catch her breath “I-I know! One more obstacle to go, all we gotta do is… is… uhhhh…” When she looked up, she noticed the dragon statue was facing away from the both of you, and very slowly rotating. “This is it? It’s not even looking at us.”

You also took notice of this, you also felt your ears twitch as you caught the distinct noise of what sounded like metal twisting upon itself, but that was probably due to the machinery meant to rotate it. The dragon was meant to be somewhat dangerous to the both of you, but with that slow rotation speed, it wasn’t going to be hard at all. “Yeah, it’s moving super slow too. Is it supposed to be so slow?”

“Dunno, it looked like it was moving faster when I saw it before. Hah!” Scootaloo said with arrogance as she began to stand “And look at it’s flame!” She points to the fire coming out of the dragon’s mouth, it was much smaller than even you remember it. “It’s puny! Anon, this is going to be really easy!”

You also take notice that the edges of the platform started spouting large flames upwards to form an outer ring of fire. It spooked you, but it seemed Scootaloo was expecting it. You could hear the crowd in awe from the spectacle as they await the victory you and Scootaloo so longed for. It was almost disappointing to see how easy this was going to be. All you both had to do was grab the doll from it’s clutches, and it’d be yours.

“So, how are we going to do this, Anon?” Scootaloo asked as she slowly followed the dragon’s rotation as to always keep at it’s backside.

“How else? Just climb up from the back and grab the doll. All this work for something so easy, it almost feels like the exam would have been better in its original form.” You could see from the backside that the black metal dragon has a large torso with fins traveling the spine of it’s back and down to it’s long curled tail. It was also slightly hunched forward, which meant it’d be pretty easy to climb. “Know what I mean?”

“Yeah, it does kind of stink that it’s gonna end like this. I gotta admit though, it was pretty cool running it with you.” Scootaloo chuckled to herself “Actually, I could kind of imagine us beating a bad guy together. It’d be so rad!”

Maybe for her. But it was that sort of thinking that caused her to be an emotional meal for the changelings. “Y-yeah, I guess. Erm, anyway, I’m gonna just climb up there and grab the doll. Just stick behind me in case I lose my grip. If I screw up, then it’s gonna be up to AGHHHHHHHHHHH!” You scream in pain as you touch the dragon’s back. It was beyond scalding hot!

“Anon! Anon! Are you ok?! What happened?!” Scootaloo rushed over to you as you shook your hooves and whined in pain.

“Ngh! Gah! It’s hot! The dragon is like, stupid hot!” You were blowing on your hooves to cool them down. Shit! You could swear you had some burns on your hooves.

“Hot?” Scootaloo approached the dragon and put her hoof over the tail. Her eyes went wide when she felt the hot aura of the metal flow along her leg. “Woah! What the?! That’s way too hot! How are we supposed to get up there?! And…” Scootaloo walks over to you and closer inspects your hoof. She could see small burn marks on your frog. “Anon, hold on.” She hocks up a loogie, and spits on the marks. “There we go! That should help.”

W-wut? I-it did kind of cool down your burns, b-but “Uhhh, Scoots? Why did you do that?”

“Well, how else was I supposed to cool your hoof down? That stuff is hot, Anon, and that’s all I had to cool it down.” Scootaloo said, a little irritated with your questioning, and yet worried about your injury. “Anon, we gotta be careful, ok? But… We gotta figure something out soon.” She looks back up at the doll, and felt time was running out “But what to do? Just… how?”

You slowly put your hoof down back on the ground. You know Scootaloo was just worried, and your hoof does feel better, but that was still kind of weird. But you didn’t have time to wonder about that anymore, you had to figure this out. “ I dunno. It’s too hot to get close, I can’t jump that high, there’s nothing we can use to poke it down and…” You look over at Scootaloo’s wings, it would be really great if she could fly right now. “Yeah… I’m kind of dumbfounded here.” And as you stared, the creeping feeling of failure started to crawl upon you. You could feel frustration nestle into your mind. How could something so close still be so far? “How?! Just how did they expect us to get up there?!”

“I dunno! Grrr, HYAH!” Scootaloo just jumps for it, but even with the little extra height from her wings, the doll is too high. If you were to measure the statue, it was about fifteen feet, with the doll being nine feet up, right in it’s right hand. “DARN! DARN DARN!” Scootaloo’s anger had welled up faster than yours, getting more frustrated with every jump. “Rainbow Dash is expecting us to win! We can’t let her down! Ngh! NGH! COME ON!” She gave it a few more jumps, but she just wasn’t able to clear the gap.

Fuck! You didn’t have an answer for this! How?! What other option did you have?! You can’t jump high enough to reach it. There’s nothing you could do! It’s impossible! You even thought about braving the burns to climb the statue, but even you weren’t that crazy. “I can’t believe this! Why would anypony set it up like…Wha?!” Suddenly, the entire platform shook for a moment as you heard a booming sound coming from inside the dragon.

“What was that? And, wha?! What’s up with the dragon?” Scootaloo steadies herself and points to the dragon as it’s suddenly covered in an emerald green magic aura.

When the aura appeared, the shaking and sounds stopped, as did the minor rotation of the dragon. “What in the…” That glow, it seemed so familiar “I don’t know. M-maybe it’s the magic in the gears or something? U-ummm…” You couldn’t say it, you couldn’t say what you really thought. And what’s worse, the heat coming off the dragon seemed to be growing as you could feel it flow past you. “I-is it getting hotter? Or is it just me?”

“I think it’s the statue. Anon, I-I think something’s up.” Scootaloo said as she started stepping backwards, her ears drooping as she noticed the aura slowly begin to shatter. The dragon then begins to shake “W-what’s happening? Why is the dragon shaking like that?”

You couldn’t answer. That aura, it was too familiar. It just couldn’t…

“Anon!” Scootaloo shouts, pointing at the dragon’s torso as it shakes violently “Something’s happening!”

You both just stare, just trying to figure out what’s going on as the statue makes one more violent shake before spinning backwards at a rapid speed, it’s top half exploding into a spiraling flame that launches metal shards and the doll straight up in the air. All you could do is stare as fireballs started to rain down from the sky as the crowd gasped and cheered.

“Anon!” Scootaloo yelled “Snap out of it!”

You shake your head and begin to step back as the flame of the dragon’s blown body descend upon random parts of the platform. “Crap! It exploded! It freaking exploded!”

“Agh! Ngh! Woah!” Scootaloo hopped about, doing her best to dodge the flames as she drew near you. “What’s going on?! This can’t be part of the test, all this fire is real! What’s wrong with the crowd?! Why aren’t they helping us?! Hey! Somepony! Anypony! Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo screamed out for help, but the roars of the flames were louder than her small voice. She began to whimper as she let out a low. “Help…”

You too begin to weave about the flames as more of the platform began to burn and sizzle with intense heat. You could feel yourself break into a sweat as you try to figure out how to get out of this. As for the crowd… “They must think this is still part of the exam! Darnit… Ngh.” Everywhere you looked was a dead end covered in flames. What were you going to do?!

“But it’s not! This is… This… ” Scootaloo backed up into you, and hid her face on your side as she began to shiver in fright. “I can’t handle this! A-Anon, I’m scared! I-I... “ Scootaloo couldn’t finish her sentence. You could guess she had never been in such a dangerous and lethal situation such as this. It must be even worse for her considering Rainbow Dash, and even the princesses, weren’t too far off and doing nothing to help.

You yourself were scared. Where the fuck was Discord? Surely he could see things were fucked! Dammit, couldn’t Celestia see it?! Surely she wouldn’t let it go on this long without a reason! You look to your side to see Scootaloo, huddling as close as she could for safety as the flames were drawing closer around you both. “Dammit! No! It can’t end like this! I didn’t even get to bone Dia-woah!” Suddenly, you are stopped when the doll comes flying down in front of you, utterly unscathed. You just looked at it, noticing the princess outfit had not received a single burn. It must have gone really high.

High...

High enough to escape the heat and the flames.

Flames create heat…

You look down at the frightened filly’s wings, and it started to make you think. Scootaloo could probably get some lift from the hot air rising from the flames. The poor filly, she barely got to live her life, and now things were coming to an end. Dammit, why was no one saving you two? Could they really not see things have gone to shit? If nothing was done, you’d both be dead soon.

You looked upon the growing flames once more. Holy shit, you were really gonna do this. You already lived a good life, right? And you had enough good times as a pony to be content, right? Scootaloo though? She hadn’t even got to truly fly yet. You had to get her to safety somehow. There was a moat at the bottom of the platform that you knew for sure would be safe for her to dive in, maybe you could make that work.

Well, if you really were gonna do this, at least you’d go to pony heaven right after. “Scootaloo” You move away and then turn towards her “Scootaloo, I want you to listen to me.” You gently place your hooves on her cheeks and raise her head so you could look into her scared crying eyes. “You’re gonna be ok, alright?” You said in a rather calm manner.

“B-but…” Scootaloo looks around “H-how?” She couldn’t see a way out.

“Just flap your wings, alright? As hard as you can.” Oh god, you really were going to do this, weren’t you? You’d think you’d be more scared, but given Scootaloo’s reaction to the flames, all you felt compelled to do was save her. You carefully stand on your hind legs and balance yourself as you forcibly grab Scootaloo and hold her up high with your forelegs. Man, you could even lift her more easily and balance yourself thanks to the training. “Just flap…” You say as tears finally fill your eyes.

“Anon…? ANON!? NO! WAIT! YOU CAN’T! WHAT ABOUT YOU?!” Scootaloo struggled to get down. Heh, despite her fear, she didn’t want to leave you behind. What a good kid.

And as your tears grew, and fear welled up inside you, your final words to her came to mind. “Scootaloo, I could give you a whole spiel about this being what a true hero does, and that you’re more important than me and all that. But really? Please… Oh god… just get somepony before I become cooked beef.” And then you do it, you hurl her as high and as hard as possible, your adrenaline powering your throw further.

“ANON! NO! ANOOOON!” Was the last thing you heard from her as she flew above the flames and past the platform's edge. falling into the moat below.

You look at the Diamond doll, and hug onto it tightly as the flames were close enough to make you feel as if you were melting. “Welp, Diamond, we’re finally alone…” You say with a sniff “It doesn’t get much steamier than this, right? Ha…” You just look at the smiling face of the doll, and chuckle weakly. “T-take that, fucktards. I fucking beat the course…” You said, crying out one last giggle.

And as you waited, you suddenly hear metal twist and fall as the platform began to tilt, crack, and tip. “What in the… OH SHIT!” The flames had began to contort, warp, and melt the metal holding the platform up. It could no longer stand as it tilted backwards towards the platform with the chute. “Gyah! Crap! CRAP!” You start to slide down, unable to grasp anything as the platform snaps off its foundation and falls with you, crashing into the lower platform as you are taken down with it into the moat.

You found yourself quickly entering the familiar embrace of darkness as you sunk into the moat with the fallen course. Indeed, there was no possible fucking way to survive this time.

That is, until you heard a familiar ringing tone in your ear...

When you opened your eyes, you could only see murky darkness and the ruins of the platforms you once stood on. When you looked down, you were slightly floating above a dusty ground, and looking up were the lights of the Colosseum breaching an otherwise obscure and wavy vision. You also noticed you seemed rather weightless.

Indeed, when you noticed bubbles going upwards, your eyes widened when you realized you were underwater and lacked breath. Immediately you grabbed at your neck as you held on for the last of your life. And worst yet, your ear was ringing a familiar tone through all of this. As you felt your life fade, you realized that if Discord heard you dying, he may realize what’s going on and come save you. So you weakly bring your hoof to your ear, and utter “D-Discord…”

“Ahh! Anon!” You hear Discord in usual joyous form. “I wanted to call you to let you know that we still had these codec things. I feel rather foolish, actually.”

You just groan and whimper “D-Discord, h-help…”

“Yes, that’s exactly it, Anon. ‘Help’. Do you realize you could have called me right when the whole Storm King thing started? I could have cleared up that whole mess in two seconds. Isn’t that funny? Everything could have been avoided with a single little call. I can tell you, I’m still having a chuckle over it.” Discord says as he has a little giggle.

Your eyes twitched with anger when you realized he didn’t give a damn. You just shook and started screaming at him with every fiber of your being. “DISCORD! YOU FUCK! I’M HERE DROWNING AND YOU’RE JUST NOW TELLING ME THIS?! YOU SHIT! I’LL KILL YOU!”

“Well now…” Discord said in an insulted tone “And here I thought you’d find that funny. But I forget how delusional you can be.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” You screeched.

“Well, if you were drowning, then how am I hearing you so clearly? Plus, you’ve been underwater for over a minute and a half now, not exactly something I’d expect you to be able to do.”

“Wha?” You dared to take breath, and found you were able to take in the water as if it was oxygen, or something like that. “How am I breathing underwater? Could ponies always do that?”

“No. No they can’t. But with my special safety gear I gave you this morning, you are able to survive anything lethal, such as drowning. Pretty nifty, hmm? I figured you’d complain if I gave you something that’d protect you from anything, given this exam, but I still decided to plan for the worst, just in case.” Discord explains.

So, is that why no one came to save you? “I see, you just wanted to make sure I passed the exam legitimately while still protecting me and Scootaloo. I guess that’s fine, especially-... Wait. Is that why we weren’t being rescued?! Did you cause the platforms to fall?! Holy shit, Discord. That’s amazing! I bet the crowd were glued to their seats over that one.” But Discord doesn’t speak when you say that, it suddenly made you rather uncomfortable. “Discord?” You say, feeling a chill up your spine.

“...Well, Anon, about that. One, Scootaloo had none of my protection, but she’s safe, you threw her hard enough that she flew all the way passed the platform's edge.” Discord said in a meek tone.

“WHAT?!” You bellowed “ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HER!” You felt anger once again well up inside you, did Discord really risk her life? Knowing she could die? Why would he do all this?! “Why?! Tell me why!”

Discord takes a breath, and speaks in a more calm manner. Hearing your anger and your accusations, he calmed himself as to clearly explain that you were wrong. “I would if any of that was my doing or intention. I had nothing to do with the dragon statue exploding. A nice touch, but it caught me by surprise, as it did a few others. Namely the Wonderbolts, Mrs. Rich, and the Princesses. And, may I add, Twilight’s reaction was absolutely exquisite, though Celestia is rather sore at me right now, perhaps a little more than sore.”

He didn’t do it? Then that green glow... Could it be? No, that’s impossible. The most likely explanation was that whatever magical force that was operating the statue overloaded. That was probably the source of the metal crunching noises and the slow rotation of the statue. Also, he didn’t mention Diamond, nor did he explain why Celestia is upset at him. Hell, that really doesn’t explain why nobody came to save you or Scootaloo in the first place. “Why? Why would she be mad at you if you didn’t do anything wrong? Mmnnn… Discord, is Diamond ok? Does she know what actually happened?”

“No, but her and the rest of the crowd are getting rather antsy with you being underwater for so long, not to mention that Mrs. Rich is doing her darndest to explain to her peers that it’s all part of the exam. Oh, speaking of, you do have two minutes left to clear it before failure. All in all, still very doable even with your current predicament. As to why Celestia is angry at me, well, that has more to do with your question as to why nopony came to save you.”

Wut? “What do you mean by that?”

“Well…” Discord stopped for a moment “You weren’t wrong when you said they were glued to their seats. Especially in the literal sense.”

Your eyes bug out from anger once again “YOU GLUED THEM TO THEIR SEATS?! WHAT THE FUCK?! DISCORD! SCOOTALOO COULD HAVE BEEN HURT! OR WORSE! WHAT IF I DIDN’T THROW HER GOOD ENOUGH? HUH?! CELESTIA HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BE MAD AT YOU. WHAT THE HELL, MAN?! THOSE FLAMES WERE FUCKING REAL!”

Discord again takes another calming breath. “I’m aware, and as I said, your toss was good enough for our young pegasus friend to dip into the moat and swim to safety. I also happen to know how important this whole thing is to our dear future relatives. Indeed, this extra bit of chaos will do wonders for everypony involved once you finish this exam. Speaking of which, Anon, you need to make a choice at this moment. Either stay there and complain at me, or come up and reap the rewards of victory. It’s your choice. I did what I felt was right, and protected you and what you were striving for. And you, being the hero colt, chose Scootaloo over your own life, and rescued her from the inferno. It’s almost like one of those old plays from the younger days of Equestria, the kind where heroism and sacrifice wins the day in the end. The choice is yours Anon. If you want to talk more about it, then wait until tonight when you return home. As for me, I’m going to take in a bit more of Twilight’s reactions. See you soon, Anon.” And with that, Discord closed the line.

You took a moment to process this new information. Should you be mad at him? He clearly didn’t foresee things going wrong this hard, and most likely had everyone glued before it happened. Hell, it seemed he had everything pre-planned when it came to your guaranteed survival. What? Did he think you were going to break your skull or something? And what about Mr. Rich? He didn’t mention his name, so perhaps he also bought into his wife’s lies. And then there was Celestia. Luna had mentioned that she foresaw something bad happening during the exam. But given her anger at Discord, even she couldn’t guess it was going to be this bad. And then there was the exam itself. Once you came back up, your rep was going to shoot through the roof when everyone witnesses you being able to survive the platforms collapsing into the moat. Sure, Discord’s magic saved you this time, but you still put in the work and effort to even get this far. You wondered what this would mean for you. No doubt Snips and Snails would be annoying to the max again, and maybe you’d be able to get the attention of celebrities in to which you could wow Diamond by having her meet them. Otherwise, like anything else in this world, this shit should calm down for you in about a week or two.

Speaking of victory, you noticed the Diamond Doll floating upwards passed you, some of it’s sewn in yarn pulled out, causing it’s fluff to slowly seep out as it floats upwards. You decide to deal with the circumstances of the situation as they come, and so you take the doll and swim upwards. If you were right, everyone capable of mounting a rescue would be unglued when you came back up with the doll. You swam up towards the edge of the moat, and crawled onto the grass as the crowd spotted you, pointed, and called out to your position, all of them silent. You get up and give yourself a small shake to take off some of the water in your mane and coat.

This was it. It was time. You look up at the crowd and hold up the doll without saying a word. In an instant, the crowd throws up their hooves in cheer as many stomp in place to celebrate your heralding victory. It made you feel a little stunned in all actuality. This was the first time you ever seen such a colossal display of applause for you, and it actually felt pretty damn great. You did another pose, and there was a cheer, and so you did another pose, and there was applause all around. Goddamn, that felt pretty good after nearly dying.

“Anon!” You hear the cry of a familiar young pegasus call out to you from your side. Before you even have a chance to react, she jumps onto you, crying and hugging you tightly. “Anon! Anon! You’re ok! Oh my gosh! I-I thought… Anon…” She started to sob as she nuzzled onto you “I thought you were gone… I saw the whole thing coming down and just… froze. I meant to get help… I really did… But I just got so scared… I just…” She couldn’t speak anymore, and just started crying uncontrollably.

Poor Scootaloo, you couldn’t imagine how scared she felt for you right now. You slowly turned yourself so you could embrace her in a hug and gently pat at her head “Hey, Scoots. It’s ok, don’t even worry about it. Besides, we’re in front of a crowd, remember? We just passed the exam, so let’s just soak up the adoration, ok? I bet everypony is amazed at what we both did.”

“B-both? Anon… Nopony wants to… H-huh?” Scootaloo gets surprised when you break the embrace and stand once more, preparing to address the crowd.

“Hey everypony! That was amazing, right?! Right! You all came here to see me! The hero colt who saved all your butts from the Storm King pass a simple exam!” And that was something that at this point, you found a little weird. Maybe it was just you, but you couldn’t see humans gathering up in bunches to see something like this. To which you meant passing a simple exam, even if it turned into a diasaster. “And pass I did! But let me just say…” You grab onto Scootaloo's side, and hold her close “I couldn’t have done it without my friend, Scootaloo! When I screwed up my jump, she was there to catch me. When I had trouble climbing, she had my back! If I was feeling like giving up, she would give me the pep talk I needed to keep on going! So, come on everypony! Let me hear you cheer her name! SCOOT-A-LOO, SCOOT-A-LOO!”

And that did it, the crowd closest to you started to spread the word about what you said amongst the rest of the patrons. Soon after, they started chanting your name and Scootaloo’s name, over and over again. Scootaloo was stunned. Even with your speech, she didn’t expect anyone to actually cheer for her. “A-Anon, t-they’re cheering for me. L-Like I was a hero, like Rainbow Dash.”

You wrapped your hoof around Scootaloo's side and smirked as you gave her gentle shake “Scootaloo, thats exactly what’s going on. Without you, we wouldn’t have been able to do this at all. And now everypony knows it! Including Rainbow Dash.” You guessed at that last one, but given she had to be watching, you felt it was true.

“Y-yeah…” Scootaloo said, her heart filled with accomplishment. She truly felt like a hero, and felt the incoming pride and happiness she’d feel when Rainbow Dash arrives to congratulate the two of you. She even gave a few waves to the crowd, and smiled when they cheered to it. "A-Anon, it's really true. We're heroes!"

As far as you were concerned, that was true for the both of you. "Heck yeah we are. And look! Here comes Rainbow Dash."

As you look up, you could see Rainbow Dash and Spitfire coming down to meet with the two of you as the crowd continued to cheer. But they also looked rather frantic and worried. Of course they did, considering what fucking happened. Hell, they were being rather pushy taking you back to the main lobby while they looked at the both of you for any injuries as you all walked. They both were really amazed, and you were sure they’d be more vocal about it once you all got inside.

When you all re-entered the lobby, Spitfire took you aside as she barked an order at Rainbow Dash “Dash! Make sure she’s alright, check for any injuries or burns.”

Rainbow Dash did a salute “Yes, ma’am!” And went to work on checking on Scootaloo very thoroughly for any injuries, cuts, or burns. “Scootaloo, I really gotta tell ya, you had me scared there for a second. You too, Anon. I mean, holy cow! That whole thing just came crashing down! That totally wasn’t supposed to happen, right?” Rainbow Dash said as she carefully inspected her.

Spitfire firmly slid her hooves along your coat as she carefully inspected you for injuries. You did your best not to blush from the attention she was giving you, especially since she was being slow and thorough, even along your rump. “No, that wasn’t supposed to happen at all! I told her! I told her six ways to Cloudsdale that it was going to come out shoddy! Two foals! Two foals in the line of danger and I couldn’t even get out of my seat to do anything about it! Ngh…” Spitfire tensed for a moment “All this under my watch and I let it get this bad. I swear I was trying to get up, but I just couldn’t.” You could feel in her voice that she was upset about the whole thing.

She was right about that as far as Discord is concerned. And that hesitation in her voice, she clearly cared about the well being of you and Scootaloo. You actually felt pretty bad about it considering you were mostly in the know about what really happened. “Hey, it’s alright. Me and Scoots got out ok, so that's all that matters. Besides, that last bit must have looked really cool! The audience thought so anyway, at least.” You say in a cheery way as you let Spitfire inspect your hooves.

“Yeah, it was… Pretty cool.” Rainbow Dash hesitated for a moment, then started to gush as she looked into Scootaloo’s eyes “Like that part where you caught Anon at the last second! That was super rad, it’s really rare to see ponies with reflexes like that!”

Scootaloo was enamored that Rainbow Dash found anything she did impressive. Though by her slight awkwardness, it was easy to tell that she was remembering that it was mostly anticipation of your failure rather than reflex, but she went with Rainbow’s words anyway. “Y-You think so? I-I mean, heh…” She gave an arrogant little smirk as her pride set in her mind “it’s why I was running the course in the first place, right? Because I’m that good, right?” Scootaloo wagged her tail as she awaited her goddess' answer.

Rainbow Dash gave her a gentle pat as she giggled with pride “Heck yeah! And you don’t have a single injury on you!” Rainbow Dash removes her helmet, and gently pats her head “You’re the raddest filly there is, Scootaloo. Considering what just happened, you and Anon more than passed. Ain’t that right, Captain Spitfire?” She looks to her for approval, and only saw a half-hearted acceptance as she continued to inspect you.

“Dash…” Spitfire sighed, then gave a small smile “Ok, fine, I admit that this is really beyond the beyonds in terms of performance. But stay serious, alright? Hmmm…” She then notices the small burn marks on the frogs of your hooves, and a few you hadn’t noticed on your forelegs as well. “Nothing major. Amazing, considering how bad this could have been. But there’s still the head…” Spitfire removes your helmet and tosses it aside as she checks for burns or wounds. Remarkably, or perhaps not as remarkably when it comes to you, you lacked any burns or visible injuries. After her examination, Spitfire sighs and falls back on her butt as she wipes her brow. “He’s alright, thank Celestia. How’s the squirt, Dash?”

“A-ok over here. Then again, I didn’t have any doubt.” Rainbow Dash says as she gives a hoof bump to Scootaloo.

“Good…” Spitfire gets up, and gently wipes at her shirt as she makes a serious face. “Everything seems to be in order then. Might as well get this stupid little show over with. I’m gonna go out there, make a couple of announcements, then you bring them back out, we award them, and we put this all behind us and never EVER make this kind of mistake again.” Spitfire was truly aggravated, even when she put on her sunglasses, she was still visibly irked. “Ugh, I shouldn’t have accepted that donation, even if it really helped. Wasn’t worth nearly losing two foals. I can’t even complain, it really is my fault…” She muttered to herself.

Poor Spitfire, she was really being hard on herself. Even as you reach your hoof out to say something, you couldn’t actually think of anything to say to help cheer her up as she left. So you turn to Rainbow Dash, and ask her. “Is she gonna be ok?”

“Captain Spitfire? Yeah, she will. She’s really tough, you know? I can tell you this though, this kind of exam ain’t ever happening again on her watch. Thinking about it now, I can agree with her. Don’t get me wrong, you two were awesome! But… ngh…” Rainbow Dash began to hesitate again, her ears drooping as a horrible thought entered her mind.

“Rainbow Dash, did you think we were going to get hurt?” Scootaloo asked as she noticed Rainbow’s disheartened state. She then gave her an adorably huge smile “Come on! It’s us! We had it in the bag the whole time!”

“Yeah… I-I guess you did.” With the excitement over and Rainbow Dash taking in Spitfire’s own lament, she realized things really could have gone badly for the both of you. This realization made her more fearful than prideful now, thus causing her to silently join in on Spitfire’s notion of never doing something as ridiculous as this again. “Totally d-did. B-but I knew that…” Rainbow Dash takes a breath, and goes to a hanging saddle bag, your saddle bag to be exact. She takes it, and passes it over to you “There you go, Anon. The horn is inside, safe and sound.”

“Thanks” You say as you put the bag down and sift for your horn. “So uh, where’s Babs?”

“She probably went to join up with the others.” Scootaloo guessed as she looked at you with a great big grin “Anon, you gotta teach me how to break metal pipes like that. I didn’t even know heads could get that strong! What’s your secret?”

You winced at that. Even if she was genuinely curious, it still only reminded you that your head is only that good after going through a whole bunch of painful smacks. “Er, I guess you could try smashing your head on the ground fifty times a day, that’d probably work. D-did wonders for me.”

Scootaloo’s grin slowly died down to a weak frown “O-oh, erm… I-I think I’ll pass on that.”

Rainbow Dash still felt rather down over Spitfire’s melancholy. But she was also trying to convince herself that it’s alright, especially since you and Scootaloo seemed pretty fine. “Well, I’m proud of the both of you. You both did great out there. I mean, heck, the only other time I see a crowd get riled up that much is whenever I pull off a Sonic Rainboom. So yeah, kudos all around. And… Y’know?” Dash started to feel her dreariness drain away as pride wells up inside her “You both deserve the best eats money can buy! I don’t know exactly where the best eats are, but hayburgers on me should be good enough, right? I’m talking as much as you can eat here, my treat, don’t even worry about how much I’ll be paying.”

“Yeah! That sounds awesome, Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo cheered

Free burgers? Fuck yes! “Yeah, that is pretty awesome! Thanks RainBOWHQDDS” amidst your own happiness to devour delicious horse food, Twilight suddenly poofs into the room in a panic as she looks around frantically, catching you completely off guard.

“Are they ok?! Are they hurt?! Please tell me Anon doesn’t have to go to the hospital again! He has to be ok! All that fire, and the platform falling…” Twilight looks towards Rainbow Dash and rushes towards her, shaking her violently with her own hooves “TELL ME THEY’RE OK!”

“T-T-T-TW-TWI-T-T” Rainbow Dash couldn’t even get any words out as she shook in Twilight’s grip.

Twilight let her go and dropped her onto the ground as she let out a sharp gasp of agony “I was too late! Discord! DIIISCCCOORD!” Twilight fell onto the ground and began to sob as she pounded her hoof on the floor “Princess Celestia was wrong! Nothing is alright! It’s my fault! If only i just disintegrated my seat, I would have been able to save them. They didn’t deserve this, to succumb to those kinds of injuries…”

You and Scootaloo just looked at each other as if Twilight was off her fucking rocker.

“Uh, Twilight? What are you talking about?” Scootaloo hazards a question to the volatile alicorn.

Twilight looks over to Scootaloo and drags herself to her, whining and sobbing “You! And Anon! I saw it… I saw it all! Nopony that young could have survived that!”

Oh god, Discord must be in heaven right now, because Twilight was such a wreck that she couldn’t even notice what was right in front of her. “Twilight… We’re not dead. We’re not even hurt. Come on, it’s kind of embarrassing to see you like this.” Like really, to you? This was just sad.

“W-what?” Twilight looks up to see the both of you just fine. Scootaloo takes advantage of her silence to give her a smile and a wave her hoof to cement the fact she’s ok.

“Twilight, sheesh!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she stood up, brushing herself off “They’re ok. Wow! Didn’t you see us walk ‘em in? I get it, it was really scary stuff, but they're ok, see? And they killed that course! Come on, you should be all like ‘Wow! You two are so awesome! Like, super awesome! And your trainer? The best!’ “

Twilight took a moment to wipe the tears from her eyes as she gave a rather nasty stare towards Rainbow Dash that caught everyone off guard. “Rainbow Dash! This is serious! I’m happy that they’re ok, but you can’t just let it be! And don’t think I don’t know who set this up! For social status, really?! I have never EVER seen such disregard for a pony’s life as I have seen today. It came crashing down, Dash. IN FLAMES, DASH!” Twilight barked

Rainbow Dash obviously had no counter argument for that. She even seemed to had forgotten who had set things up, that’s what it seemed like anyway. Really, all Rainbow wanted to do was celebrate both yours and Scootaloo’s victory while trying to forget how it actually happened. Deep in her heart, she was just as terrified as Twilight was. “I-I mean… Erm. mnnn…” Rainbow Dash’s ears folded as she looked away in defeat “Ok… You’re right. That’s pretty bad.”

“It’s very bad! I’m going to go over to Mrs. Rich’s box right this instant and give her a piece of my mind! She didn’t even have the course go through a quality inspection! I cannot and WILL not let this slide!” Twilight was angry indeed, and on a warpath. But what made you alert was the fact that she was going to go after Mrs. Rich.

Ok, morally speaking, she probably deserved what was coming to her. But you also understood the situation she was in and how important it was when it came to her social class. Sure, it was all petty in the end, but she was also your future mother-in-law, and so you felt some need to protect her. You could imagine a princess berating her in front of a bunch of rich shitheads not only sinking her life, but Filthy’s as well. And that you DEFINITELY couldn’t allow. Mr. Rich was a total bro, and not one you’d let down if you could help it.

You took a deep breath, and just let it out. “Twilight. No, I can’t let you do that.”

“What?” Twilight looked at you, confused “Anon, she put your’s and Scootaloo’s life in danger with this. I can’t just let that go.”

“I knew the risks. Scootaloo may not have, but she’s alright, and that’s all that matters. It’s over, Twilight, and everypony came out ok. If somepony has to talk to Mrs. Rich, it’s gonna be me. I’m calm, I understand the situation, and I know her much better than you do. Please, let me handle this, Twilight.” You had to remain calm for this, because it was obvious she wasn’t in the right state of mind.

“Anon, just because Scootaloo is alright doesn’t mean this is anything close to ok. Mrs. Rich needs to understand the gravity of the situation. Because something tells me she doesn’t quite get it, especially if she was willing to overlook safety protocol just to look good in front of a bunch of rich ponies.” Twilight argued.

“And I get that. And I understand you’re upset, but I know her much better than you do and I can keep things calm while I tell her what’s what. I can only imagine how things are going for her after all that, it can’t look too good on her. Twilight, I’m gonna ask you again, please let me handle it.” You plead with her.

“I can’t, Anon. As the Princess of Friendship, it’s my duty to set things right in matters like these. Please try to understand, this is nothing against you, and it isn’t that harsh either. I just want to talk to her, not throw her in a dungeon.” Twilight started to calm down, and tried to tone down her resolve when she noticed you starting to become rather argumentative against her.

Fucking dammit! You weren’t going to let her have her way. Time to up the ante! “I do not care about your title, Twilight. This involved me, I know her, I know how to talk to her, and her investment on this whole thing is more than you realize. Stand down, please, I won’t ask again.”

Twilight was being more wary now. She knew that was a passive threat and knew you might even go through with something if she pushes you. So, she tries a different tactic, if only because she felt that her knowledge of friendship was better than what you have. “Well, Anon, how about this then? This whole thing also involves Scootaloo, so she should have a say too.” Twilight then looks to Scootaloo, who she herself suddenly became nervous “Scootaloo, who do you think should handle this?”

Scootaloo looks to you, then to Twilight, then to you, then to Twilight, and finally back to you as she points at you with a shaky hoof. “I think Anon should be the one. I… kinda know how things are when some other pony butts in when he tries to do something like this, it doesn’t go too well. I think you should give him a chance.”

“See, Anon? That’s ex… wait.” Twilight, who was sure Scootaloo was going to pick her, double takes when she realizes Scootaloo chose you. Hot damn, way to go, Scoots! “What?! Scootaloo, really? A-are you sure?”

Scootaloo nods and walks over to you, pointing at you with her hoof more confidently as she spoke. “Yeah, why not? If he’s that sure, and he knows her that well, then he sounds like the pony for the job, right? I know you’re the Princess of Friendship and all. But erm, Anon has like… erm… this way with really angry mares to make them not so angry.”

“A-ahh..ahm…” Twilight looks towards Rainbow Dash, who immediately throws her hooves in the air to dismiss this whole thing.

“Yo, don’t look at me, Twilight. I get why you’re upset, I get why you wanna handle it, and you can trust me when I say I wanna kick her butt for almost getting Anon and Scootaloo roasted. But you did ask Scootaloo and she does have a point. Anon’s got this weird thing with really angry mares. I mean look at Starlight and Tempest. If that ain’t proof, then I dunno what is. “ Holy shit, even Rainbow Dash was backing you up. That’s… That actually feels amazing.

Twilight goes silent. She was so frustrated, but she also knew that pushing it further after being outnumbered would sour her friendships with the three of you. In fact, her hesitating at this point struck you as odd, especially with her mention of Celestia being wrong. You also remember Luna mentioning to you that Celestia had a vision about today. And then there was Discord’s word about Celestia. She was mad at him? That had to be it, because if she was mad at the situation, she’d be here right now. Maybe she was angry that she couldn’t help, as it sounded like she didn’t expect things to go down so crazily. But after things turned out to be ok, she stopped pursuing it.

Twilight obviously couldn’t let it down. And so, you call her on it. “Celestia told you not to interfere, didn’t she?” If that was it, then for once, Celestia was respecting your space. She doesn’t deserve kudos or anything, but it’s a start in the right direction.

Twilight freezes from those words “H-how did you know?”

“Just a guess that I now know is true. Twilight, everypony can see that you’re highly upset.” One last time, you’d be civil and calm about this, and if that didn’t work, it’d be horn time. “But if Celestia had to say something, then I would think that would mean to just drop it.” Of course, you’d still lay on some guilt just to make sure she backs out “I mean, that's what you'd say to me if I was in your situation, right? Because that is what always happens, isn't it?”

Twilight had no more words to say on the matter. Finally, she had been defeated. Really, if it wasn’t for RD and Scoots, she probably still would have relented. Twilight took the time to look at you and Scootaloo one last time as she did her best to calm herself, your words circling her mind as she did. Finally, she truly backed off. “You’re right. I was letting my worry, fear, and doubt get the better of me. I was so worried about you two that I felt it was my duty to fix what may have not been in my place to fix. So much so that I didn’t care about your feelings on the matter. For that, I apologize. Anon, if you can really handle it, then I won’t bother you more about it. In fact, I’ll consider this a friendship lesson that I not only have to learn, but perhaps have the ability to pass on to my future students.” Twilight takes one more breath and gives a weak but sincere smile “Really, in the end, I’m just glad you both are ok.”

“It’s no problem, really!” Scootaloo said, returning her smile with one of her own “It could have gone bad, yeah. But me and Anon are a team! We always got each other's back! So of course we got out of this, no problem.”

“Yeah, Twilight.” If she was finally backing off, then there was no more reason for hostility. “You just gotta keep a cool head. It’ll be fine, promise, I got it handled.”

“I trust you, and I know you do. Heh…” Twilight let out a weak chuckle as her horn started to glow “I-I guess I’ll go back to my seat then for the whole award thing. I-I am proud of you, Anon, you really have come far. And if Fluttershy was here… Oh wait.” Twilight cringed “Maybe it’s good that she wasn’t.”

Everyone cringed at that as you replied to her words “Y-yeah… Probably...”

Like seriously, that would probably be the first known death in Equestria caused by a heart attack.

With that out of the way, the realization that Mrs. Rich might be in a tough spot started to fill your head. You look towards Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo, who were still lingering within the moments of Twilight’s untimely entrance. “Yo, I gotta go. Need to make sure Mrs. Rich is ok.”

“W-woah, what?!” Rainbow Dash said in surprised confusion “But what about the ceremony? And what about the thing that just happened now? You seemed pretty tense, Anon. You may want to chillax and do that after we’re done here.”

“Yeah, Anon. You got pretty serious with Twilight. Don’t you wanna cool off a bit first?” Scootaloo suggested, worried about your mental state. Fearing you might do something you might not want to do due to frustration.

The truth is, you already felt pretty ok. Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash having your back on this one really did wonders for your mood, even with Twilight’s persistence. “I’m fine, trust me. I just wanna make sure everything is ok, that’s all. As for the ceremony…” You reach into your saddle bag and get your trusty horn. You place it on your forehead, and immediately use the spell you had in mind. “I got a guy who can handle that.”

Your horn lets out a small pop as you begin to glow. Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo just look on as a copy form of you separated from your main body, then starts to look around rather dumbly.

“Woah, there’s two Anons now!” Scootaloo said in surprise “I didn’t even know you could do that!”

“Yep, I can. And this guy is gonna fill my place while I go see Mrs. Rich. That’s alright with you, right Rainbow Dash?” You ask

Rainbow Dash slowly approaches your clone, and pokes it nose, eliciting a small giggle from it. “I guess” She looks at it inquisitively “I dunno for sure though, he seems kind of dumb.”

“He is. He’ll do whatever you tell him and is smart enough to answer questions and talk at a third grade level. He’ll disappear after the ceremony, so don’t worry about him getting into trouble.” You explained, feeling some pride about creating an idiot-proof idiot.

“Anything we tell him? Hrn…” Scootaloo looks to your clone with curiosity, then gives him a big smile. “Anon, say ‘Rainbow Dash is awesome!’ “

“Rainbow Dash is awesome!” Your clone says with a dopey smile on his face.

“That’s so cool! Hey, Rainbow Dash, why don’t you give it a shot?” Scootaloo asks her, feeling anticipation and a few giggles well up inside her as she awaits to see what Rainbow Dash has planned.

“Alright, heh, let’s see.” Rainbow Dash rubs her chin with her hoof as she looks to your dumb looking clone with intrigue. “I want you to try balancing on one hoof while solving, erm, a real hard math problem. Something Twilight would think of.”

And just like that, your clone starts standing on its right hindleg as it does it’s best to think of something. “Errr, uhhh… Ngh!” The clone suddenly starts screaming erratically as it fails to think of something. “FUCCKKKKKKKKKKKK FUCK FUCK!” It screams as it continues to balance itself “I CAN’T THINK BEYOND THREE PLUS EIGHT! I THINK PI IS A DELICIOUS TREAT, GODDAMMIT! THIS HURTS SO MUCH! PLEASE, ANYPONY, JUST SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD OR AT LEAST SUCK MY DICK UNTIL I ORGASM TO DEATH!”

Scootaloo covered her ears as your clone screamed it’s nonsense from within the lobby “S-sheesh! Rainbow Dash! I-I think you broke him! W-what is he even saying?!”

Rainbow Dash understood some of its lingo, and found it rather appalling. “Nothing you need to listen to, Squirt.” Rainbow Dash rushes over to Scootaloo and helps cover her ears with her wings as she looks at you with a surprised and mean look “Anon! What is with him?! The things he’s saying are things a filly like Scootaloo should totally not be hearing right now.”

You let out a heavy sigh as you get heavily annoyed at the entire situation “That’s not my fault. I told you he was dumb! Why did you give him something difficult like that?! That’s totally on you, Rainbow Dash!”

“I just wanted to see if he could do it! I didn’t know he’d be spewing all those bad words! I mean… Hey… “ Rainbow Dash suddenly gets an evil grin as she gets a devious idea “Man, Applejack would go nuts if we set a couple of these Anons outside her window.”

Ha! That’d actually be pretty… Oh wait, but it’d spell trouble for you though. “Maybe for you, but I’d rather not want to deal with the wrath of an apple farmer.” You walk over to your screaming clone and smack at the back of the head “Shut up already!”

And just like that, the clone falls on all four of his hooves, and shuts his fucking trap as if he was just summoned, just looking around blankly.

Scootaloo noticed the Anon sitting there, and asked "Is everything ok now? Can I uncover my ears?"

"Yeah." Rainbow Dash slowly uncovers Scootaloo’s ears as she stares at your clone with caution “He gonna be quiet?”

You nod “Until you give him another command. Just keep things simple with him, alright? I really wouldn’t want to have to zap him away early in front of a crowd.”

“I’ll try.” Rainbow Dash closely inspects your clone once again as it stands there “Now that I think about it, kind of reminds me of Pinkie’s clones.”

“Oh, you mean when she used that mirroring pool? I remember that…” Scootaloo suddenly shivered in dismay “I kinda don’t want to remember that. All those Pinkies were terrible and annoying. They weren’t as cool as the real Pinkie at all.”

“I may have not been there for that, but I heard the stories. Yeah, that sounds about right. Anyway, just keep things simple with him and everything should be ok. I really gotta go and I don’t want to waste any more time, alright?” Really, the more time you waste, the more something could happen to Mrs. Rich. Hell, for all you knew, Twilight 180’d and went to talk to her anyway. Oh boy, if she did, you may very well use your second charge on her.

“Yeah, yeah, keep it simple, got it! We’ll be careful.” Rainbow Dash tells you, feeling a little insulted that you didn’t seem to trust her.

“Yeah, Anon! You can count on us to not mess up with… Erm… You…” Scootaloo let’s out a cheerful giggle, then salutes to you “Anyway, you can count on us! So, good luck, Anon! I’ll be rooting for you.” But then Scootaloo stopped you immediately after her words to ask one last thing. “Oh, Anon, wait! One last thing!”

Hmmm? “Yeah?”

“What does ‘Fuck’ mean?” Scootaloo asked, tilting her head in curiousness.

Aye geez, not again. And unlike with Starlight, you felt messing with Scootaloo about it would end badly for you. “It’s probably nothing. Remember, that clone is kinda dumb, probably just made it up.”

“Really?” Scootaloo said as she pondered, tapping at her chin “Coulda sworn I heard it before.”

NOOOOOOOOOOOPE! Before she even had a chance to question you further, you make your way out, speaking quickly as you do “Nope! You haven’t! Thanks guys, I’ll see you both later, for real! Gone now, bye!”

And with that, you left the lobby through the front entrance, and asked the guards where along the outside of the circular colosseum might the rich pony’s entrance be. They don’t dismiss you, and actually turn out to be rather helpful as they point along the clockwise direction of the Colosseum, saying it’s a bit of a walk, but less than halfway if you take this path along the outer side of the Colosseum's wall. With that, you thank them, and trot towards the V.I.P entrance.

You had to make sure you stayed focused when you meet up with Spoiled. Stay strong, keep on course, assess the situation, and don’t make her or yourself look the fool. If you had to, you could dazzle the crowd of noble ponies with a spell from the horn, you did still have one charge left.

When you neared the V.I.P entrance, marked with a golden archway, you could see Spoiled looking back towards it, then marching towards the lobby you just left. Due to your paths crossing, it didn’t take you both long to notice each other. What caught you as odd though was the fact she was by herself, without husband or rich assholes following her. Well, whatever it was that caused this, you were about to find out about it. “Mrs. Rich? Hey, how are you?” A weak start, but you’d be able to gauge the situation from how she answers.

But as she silently approached, her pace quickening as she did, you noticed her mane was a little less kept than usual, and her make-up was running down her cheek. She looked rather miserable actually. Did something happen? “Mrs. Rich? A-are you NGH!” You are stopped when she grabs onto you, and hugs you tightly.

“Anon, you imbecile!” She said with a fearful whine “Idiot! W-what are you doing walking around like this? You should be in a hospital!”

Ok, odd first words to come out of her after just meeting up with her. She was hugging you onto her chest, so you had to scootch your face up, still calm as you do, and ask “Erm, why? I’m alright, Mrs. Rich. Are you alright?” She clearly wasn’t, and it was already evident why.

“You’re alright? You’re alright?!” She says with a frustrated chuckle as she begins to gently brush her hoof onto your head “Maybe I’m the idiot then, considering what you had to go through to survive.” She let you go, and sat down as she began to sob “Endangering your life just to be the best. I-I didn’t know that was going to happen. How was I supposed to know?! I only wanted there to be enough danger to impress those fools, and all I ended up doing was nearly…” She looks back at you, and becomes reluctant.

Holy shit, she was a fucking wreck! You didn’t even know what was fully going on. Did her plan work? Where was Filthy? Is she even ok? Her words were not painting a full picture for you. “W-woah, hold on Mrs. Rich! A-are you alright? Did everything work out ok?”

She let out a bit of an insane chuckle as she grabbed onto you again and looked into the bright blue sky. “All that, and he’s asking if I’m ok! Oh my Celestia, my little Diamond truly has a good one, even if he’s an idiot at times.” She says out loud, but given her less than sane mood, you didn’t take it personally “Anon…” She stops, and finally looks you in the eye, lucidity in her expression. “I don’t know if you knew, but what happened with the dragon exploding was not planned. It was an accident… It was…” She looks down, visible shame on her face “It was my own foolish pride. That dragon nearly incinerated you and your friend. And for what? Social status?!...” She stops for a moment as she turns to the side “Ok, that is rather important. But…” She sighs, and looks back at you with tear filled eyes. “So are you. You are my future son-in-law, after all…” Then she lets out a more calm laugh as she did her best to relax “And even after nearly losing your life, you want to know if everything went alright with me.”

You shrug, and give her a hopeful smile. “Well, yeah, I gave you my word I’d do my best. Scootaloo is ok, I’m ok, and everything else is going as planned. But…” She seemed to have learned her lesson, but you also felt she might shirk off some of what she may have learned as a pure accident. You felt you had to cement her lamentable feelings. “Can we maybe never do something like that again? That was really scary.” You say as worried and adorably as possible.

“O-of course… And… “ She gulps, feeling maybe she was overdoing her own plans. She wanted you close to her side for awhile just to know you’re alright, for her own sake. But there was that part of her that wanted to show you off personally to the aristocratic company she kept. “Perhaps after the ceremony, you could join me for a little while? Hmmm… how to put this…” She didn’t want to sound to forceful.

But you got it, and you give her a smirk “Wanna show me off and prove how much better we are in every facet of life? Sure! I’ll even join in right now. Created a temporary clone to fill in for me anyway” You could at least give her this.

“A temporary clone?” It looked like it took her a moment to get it, but once she did, she made a cocky little smirk of her own. “Anon, I really am surprised. Any other colt your age would have just wanted to go home. But you? You truly are a colt of your word. Hmmm…” She suddenly gives a more warming and maternal smile as she gives you a gentle hug. “Thank you…”

“Such a sight to see. Despite your kinship being years off, you both already demonstrate what familial ties are truly about.” Said a voice from the side.

You and Spoiled break off your hug to see…

Uh…

Some pedo pony Dracula looking motherfucker in a purple, high collar, cloak and a red sash with some sort of badge. His mane was black and slicked back smooth, and his coat white. He also has a small beard. Who the fuck was this guy?!

“Chancellor Neighsay! Uhm… Hrm.” Spoiled suddenly straightens up and wipes the mussed up make-up from her cheeks. “Ahrm, I didn’t see you there. I wasn’t aware you had vacated your seat, are you alright?”

Chancellor Neighsay?

“Indeed I am. I apologize for my sudden appearance, I didn’t mean to cause any harm. I just wanted to comment on what I had walked into, two ponies showing care for one another. Something you wouldn’t truly see in any other creature, unfortunately.” Neighsay then stops and looks towards you as he continues to speak to Spoiled. “As for why I left my seat, it was to meet with the Hero Colt Anon himself. I am very impressed with what I’ve seen today, as I have been impressed with what I have heard about him. I suppose you can say he intrigues me greatly.”

This guy irked you. Meet you? You intrigue him? Was he gonna lure you into his van or rape you or something? Who the fuck is he? He unsettled you so much.

Spoiled suddenly whispers to you “Anon, please, be courteous with him. He wasn’t one of the ones I meant to crush. He’s a very important stallion, that’s all you need to know.” She then looks to Neighsay and gives him an awkward smile “Chancellor, I wasn’t aware you were that interested in Anon. But I am truly honored you have taken interest in my future son and, I’d assume, my daughter as well.”

Wut?! Was Spoiled selling you and Diamond to this obvious pedophile?!

“I’m very interested in Anon. And depending on our meeting, your daughter as well. My recommendations are highly sought after afterall, but I’m sure you knew that. However, since I am here, I also feel a meeting with… Ahrm… “ Suddenly, there was disgust in his voice “Princess Twilight is required. So…” He then looks to you “Anon, I hope you won’t find it rude that I have to make you wait, but duty calls. Would you mind meeting with me tonight? At a place of your choosing?”

Rude? Make you wait? This presumptuous creepy ass fuck! You didn’t even say anything and he already fucking assumes you’ll meet with him? And goddammit, if Spoiled’s reaction is anything to go by, saying no might fuck things up. Ugh, the things you have to do for the ones you care about… “Erm, sure… How about at the fountain by city hall.”

“Perfect! Oh, and I’d rather it just be us. True, it may seem off that I don’t want your…” Again, there is disgust in his voice “Father…” And then he speaks respectfully again “There, but what I have to say is very important and for your ears only. That’s not going to be a problem, is it?”

Oh god, you really were too cute! It was only a matter of time before the pedo rapist ponies came after your ass. “S-sure…” If he tries anything on you, you’ll fucking twist his goddamn neck. Though, if he’s a vampire pedo Dracula, you may be screwed as he's already undead. He wasn't burning in the sunlight, but stronger vampires, like this guy possibly is, aren't really affected by the sun.

“Splendid! Now then, I must make my leave. It was truly a pleasure, Mrs. Rich, a pleasure indeed.” He says as he walks off towards Twilight’s castle.

What in the…

“Who was that guy?” You ask Spoiled.

Spoiled just watches him walk off, feeling a small chill down her spine from that meeting. “Chancellor Neighsay of the EEA. The head of the EEA to be exact.”

EEA? “What’s the EEA?”

“Equestria Education Association. They are the highest authority on academics in the land. Even Celestia’s school needed their accreditation before it could truly be erected. Chancellor Neighsay himself is also a very hard pony to please, so him having any interest in your training exam caught me off guard. I had to invite him for this event, if only to try to earn his favor. Having him as a friend works wonders if you are trying to get your foal in a highly sought after school. And it seems I may, in fact, have his friendship. Anon, please, whatever goes on in that meeting? please PLEASE be as courteous and well mannered as possible, alright? This is too good of a chance to be squandered. If you can do this for me. I’ll… mmnnn.” Spoiled sighs “I will think more highly of your father, and not think of him as a gigantic reprobate.”

You felt gross just thinking of this meeting. The guy definitely seemed evil in some way. As for Spoiled’s deal... “It’s fine, I know you don’t really like my dad, so I won’t force you to be nice to him. I’ll still be a gentlecolt towards Neighsay. The only thing I want to ask though…” and make sure she understands “Is, erm, you’re never gonna do anything this crazy again, right? The whole Colosseum and dragon thing? or anything close to it, right? I-I’d like a promise, if you don’t mind.”

Spoiled expression became serious as she gave you a nod “You have my word. I’ll just have to lord over those worms in some other fashion. For now, shall we go?”

You nod, hopefully getting a chance to be an arrogant ass to a bunch of rich fucks will calm you down. “Sure, after you, Mrs. Rich.”

When you both approach the entrance to the V.I.P. box, you start to let out a small chuckle as you realize something.

Mrs. Rich looks over to you, finding your giggle a little off. “What’s so funny?”

You look at her with a cheerful little grin “You haven’t said anything about how I look. I did get pretty dirty back during that exam. Now…” You coyly begin to tap at your chin inquisitively. “Is it because you care more about me rather than how I look? Or is it because you didn’t notice? Hmmm…”

At first, Mrs. Rich looked insulted. But something must have clicked in her mind when she realized one or both of those statements may be true. “W-well, what am I supposed to tell you? Go take a bath or go put on some elegant clothing? No…” She looks ahead, trying to find something nice to say about the subject “If I had to say something, it would be to say that I’m going to overlook it this one time. Not like anypony can say otherwise anyway after what just happened.”

In truth, you only brought this up to see what she had to say and see if she’d go back to acting like her usual self. She mostly did, but it was clear she cared more for you than whatever crowd awaited the both of you. With that in your heart, you take out your horn and place it on your head as you decide to give her one last favor. “You know, Mrs. Rich? I feel like I can give you one more bonus favor. But if I do this, I’d just like one little thing in return. Can you do that for me?”

“Hmm?” She looked at you, confused as to what you were doing. “Another favor for me? What are you doing? What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m not going to go up there looking all dirty and scraggly. Trust me, you’ll be happy with what I’m about to do. But after I do it, I just want you to, well, loosen up a little. Don’t be so uptight, ok?”

Then she just stares a judging stare at you as she raises a single eyebrow “Uptight? What gives you the impression I’m uptight?”

“Well, snooty and uptight mostly. Kind of a mix of both.” You say, unaffected by her gaze.

“Are you trying to get me upset with you? Because it’s working” She says to you, whatever deep care she had for you in the past moments passing by into nothingness.

You give her a cocky little smirk as you begin to glow “Not really, I really meant what I said. But perhaps you need to see my end of the offer first before you reply.”

And with that, your glow began to intensify, causing Mrs. Rich to cover her face with her hoof as you turned into a small mini sun. “Anon! What is the meaning of this?!”

The only sound that comes back in reply is a small explosion from where you stood that releases the light around you into little orbs. When Spoiled looked upon you, you were no longer adorable and dirty Anon. No, you were now an Anon with a smooth and slicked back mane. You wore a black suit with a red bowtie and white undershirt. You also put an illusion on your necklace and horn, making it appear as a rare and expensive pendant with a beautiful red gem. You even had a Dracula like cape for the ensemble. On your head was a black silk top hat that completed the entire look. Oh yeah, you looked fucking hot. And since Dracula seemed to be the epitome of high class in pony society, you decided to fit in. “Meaning? Ha! Like I said, I’m giving you one bonus favor. Pretty swanky, huh? I bet I look a lot more presentable now.”

Spoiled looked surprised and even impressed by your transformation. She stayed silent for a moment, then smirked with a slight chuckle. “Aren’t you overdoing it? No, wait…” Her cocky little smirk softens after a small breath “Alright, I see what you want now. And given everything that’s happened, I feel like I’m the same as the idiots above us with how I've been acting, and have acted towards you.”

You shake your head, and give her a gentle hug “Nah, you’re just used to your social standing. I know deep inside that you have a good heart. That’s why I’m asking if you can relax a little, at least around me and my friends. That’s all I ask, please?” You look up at her with a sweet smile that contrasted your debonair look

She tenses at first, murmuring about something. She then closes her eyes and shakes as she struggles with that notion. Finally, she opens her eyes and groans “Alright, I suppose that’s fair enough…” She then looks ahead and opens the doors, then looks back at you with a gentle smile “You have a good heart too, I’ve told you that before, haven’t I?”

Oof, that’s a big no. “Ermmm… Yes?”

Her muzzle quivers with frustration as she passes through the doors to a rather lavish stairway interior that led upwards to the V.I.P seats. The stairs themselves in this stairway were covered with a really nice red carpet. “Egh… A lie for sure… But, in that case, I’ll make sure to say it more often. Or say it more than twice at least.”

With that you both ascended the stairs to the V.I.P box. You expected Spoiled to go through some ground rules or something as you ascended the stairs, but she kept quiet and stayed focused. Maybe she trusted you enough to handle it on your own? Or perhaps she already started on lightening up. Either way, it was welcome, as you already felt confident enough to handle the situation.

Finally, you both reach the other side of the stairs. What awaited you was an open floor to walk around and a boxed off set of seats, walled away from the common seats other ponies sat at. Around you were the richest, snobbiest, and most well dressed ponies you’ve seen yet. They were all either conversing and taking drinks from a single waiter pony or listening to Spitfire’s announcement, which was already underway.

“Honeylamb! There you are!” cried out the familiar southern voice “Got worried there for a minute with you leaving so suddenly, but I suppose you needed a breath of fresh air. Anyway, they’re already awarding Anon and Scootaloo and… wait a second.” Mr. Rich approaches the both of you from the walking area, visibly confused. “Er, who is that colt you’re with?”

You give Mr. Rich a wide and adorable smile “Heya Mr. Rich, it’s me, Anon!”

“He decided to clean himself up and join us, we ran into each other downstairs and he was so well dressed for it, I decided to invite him up here. And…” Mrs. Rich noticed that her husband mentioned he got worried when she stepped out “You were worried about me? I only left for a moment…”

“Yes, that’s true. But Sweetie Pie, it’s not like you to leave when we’re entertaining the other rich folk. So even a moment scares the horseshoes out of me, and do you wanna know why?” Mr. Rich slowly approaches his wife with a gentle and loving smile

“I-I… Don’t… “ It was clear Mrs. Rich had never just walked out in such a way before. Most likely because she’s never nearly killed anyone before due to her own hubris.

Mr. Rich just continues as if she did answer, and rubs his nose along hers affectionately “Because I love you so much. Love ya more than the business, and I always hope you know that.”

D’awwww, you could see Spoiled blushing as she reluctantly enjoys her husband’s affection. It was cute, and very endearing to see her give in and act like every other pony in love with another. She was returning his affection with a nuzzle of her own, and a gentle kiss on the muzzle. Clearly she didn’t give a shit that anyone saw. “Well, dear, I feel better now, thanks to you. I-I was feeling a little worried, truthfully. N-not because of that completely planned platform collapse mind you, just the fact that I felt I could have overdone it.”

“Well, you better not worry none about that, because I’m impressed, they’re impressed, and everything came out exactly as you thought it did. Gotta say, even you had me fooled into thinking that was some freak accident. But of course I was just the fool when it came to doubting you, even by a little. You forgive me for that, right? Darlin’?” Filthy asked, awaiting for the approval of his wife.

Spoiled felt bad hearing those words. She knew she lied to everyone to save face, saying it was all part of the plan. Her ears drooped when she looked at her husband’s face as she tensed with guilt. “You don’t need to ask me for forgiveness, Dear. It was, well, set up to have everypony doubt. And…” How could he even put himself down like that? She thought. Did he really feel that way? “And please, don’t even think yourself lower than me. We’re married, I’d like to think we’re equals. That’s how it works, right?”

Mr. Rich just plants a gentle kiss on her nose and smiles with a southern chuckle “It does, I’d wager. But I’m still the stallion around here, my job is to make sure you and our princess are always as happy as can be, you hear?”

Spoiled suddenly becomes adorably meek as she looks down and nods “Mhmm…”

“In any case, I think I’ve been ignoring our future son long enough.” Filthy lets out a more hearty southern laugh as he looks to you “Mighty fine clothes you got on there, son. But let me tell you, I think I finally got a hang on this whole chaos magic thing. The Anon down there on the field is a little ole clone, ain’t it?”

Woah, that’s a pretty impressive guess coming from him. “Nice! That’s exactly right. How did you figure it out, Mr. Rich? Most ponies would have found it weird.”

Mr. Rich gives you a cocky grin as he taps at his forehead “It’s my business to figure out the tricks of the trade to any pony, Anon. And I finally got a good hold on how your tricks work. And wow!” He whistles “Gonna take a guess them clothes are all part of the magic too. I get it, came to impress all us business types and such up here.” He winks at you “Very impressive, but you’re trying too hard I think. Ahhh well, I know these ponies, they are pretty easy to impress if you know how to razzle dazzle them some. Well? Let’s get to that then, shall we? With our princess with the princesses and you smashing that there exam, all the ponies up here are primed to be all awed and such.” Mr. Rich then looks to his wife with a gentle smile “And I know that’s what you want. But let’s not overdo it, alright? Don’t want to make no enemies either, no siree”

Mrs. Rich nods, and looks towards the crowd, mustering up her snooty bravado “I can do that, especially since not everypony here is worth it anyway. Even further, if they ever dine with Princess Celestia or Princess Twilight and ask about our dear Diamond, they’ll hear nothing but good things. Yes, no need to crush their pride even further than that.”

Mr. Rich tensed a little at her last words, he wasn’t much for “Crushing”. But he knew his wife, and accepted it this time. And with that, you all went to mingle with the crowd.

And this was the most unfortunate part about all of this. None of the rich ponies were any you recognized from the show, not a single one. Dammit, if Fleur Di Lis was at least among the bunch, you could have at least “impressed” her to get some gentle headpats out of her. Ok, maybe not a good idea with the two wedded Riches watching, but still. And the worst part was that they were all fucking boring and obvious. There were the ones genuinely and ridiculously impressed with your skills, both magical and physical. The obvious jealous ones who nearly ground their teeth to nothing, attempting to smile as they entered a conversation with you, singing your praises falsely as envy raged through their minds. The jealous ones weren’t even that fun to impress either, you didn’t know them and most likely never would meet with them ever again.

There was even an old mare showing you a picture of her granddaughter, a rather adorable blue unicorn filly with emerald green eyes and a cute little bowtie on her platinum blue tail. She was obviously trying to get you to be part of her family instead. You didn't even have a chance to decline. Spoiled’s hearing was a lot sharper than you realize, because she gave that old mare a stare even Satan would fear, causing the old mare to chuckle fearfully and wish you ado. Man, you needed a drink, but the waiters were not willing to serve any drinks to a child, despite being the goddamn hero colt, goddammit.

The only real amusing thing through this whole borefest was when your clone was given a mic to give his victory speech to the crowd. You all looked down towards the clone when he began to speak. “I have a dream! Where mares and stallions, colts and fillies, and whatever else, can come together and spread the love among each other. Yes, where nopony would be afraid to unsheath their fears and plunge into the moist caves of happiness and plant their seeds into those who want it. For mares everywhere to be happy to receive that which we all know you deserve! Everypony, all at once, releasing into the air the cry of true and unadulterated bliss! This is my dream for Equestria, and I hope everypony is with me on this!”

Throughout the Colosseum, ponies everywhere cheered and stomped their hooves in approval of your clone’s message.

You could hear one of the aristocrats say “My, even the magically created double has quite a way with words. A true inspiration indeed.”

You? You retracted the thought of it being amusing. Holy fuck, if ponies weren’t so innocent, you’d be seen as the most perverted being in this world. Hell, that might already be true, but you didn’t need everyone knowing that. “Y-yeah…”

It wasn’t soon after, now that everything was over anyway, that the wealthy crowd began to make their exit. All none the wiser to the truth of things, and leaving on pleasant terms. Some were hiding their anger as they bowed and left in a huff. All that did was fuel Mrs. Rich’s victory, as it was clear she was enjoying their salt, almost like it was a fucking fetish. In any case, she was clearly pleased with the results.

Eventually, the box was empty of both the few waiters and all the rich patrons. Even the Colosseum was emptying up at this point now that everything was over. You could only think of what your reputation was like right now.

“Well, I’d call this a success” Spoiled said as she walked to the right side of you, looking down onto the field with a self satisfied smirk.

“Agreed. Nopony got hurt, Anon passed his exam, and our little darlin’ got to be around her heroes while watching her future husband save her, in a sense anyway” Mr. Rich said as he stepped to your other side, and looked up to the sky, more relieved than anything else. It was clear he was just glad everything was over, he could do without this kind of excitement.

“Well, there’s still that wedding thing, right? How do you think that’s gonna go? I mean, I’m ready for it. I just want to see Diamond happy, that’s all. I really can see her as my wife… Erm.” You stop when you notice a tenseness in Mr. Rich “Y-y’know, if everything works out”

“Everything WILL work out. Despite the few reservations I do have, I’d rather you than some rich snob who only sees us for the bits we have or the businesses we own. Isn’t that right, Dear?” Spoiled look to her husband, not with a look that demanded agreement, but a look in search of approval to her own words.

“That’s true. There are many a pony who’d offer their own young’un just to have a piece of the Rich pie. But if it’s one thing we can say for sure in that regard is that both you and your father don’t really want or have a need for our money and such. If I can sound all philosophical-like for a moment, I’d say that ‘A being of chaos already has everything at their beck and call, except for one to share it with”. Erm, probably not the best sounding now that I think about it, but it rung with me right proper at the time.” Mr. Rich said, agreeing with his wife while trying to sound all wise about it.

“That sounds about right, at least to me, Mr. Rich. I promise to do you proud, and take care of her, and all that stuff.” You say, feeling sure of your words, and comfortable talking about your future with Diamond among her parents.

“Sounds like you already got it all worked out” Mr. Rich says to you, finding your words confident and adorable at the same time.

“Well, it seems to be happening no matter what, right? No other thing to do but try to plan my future out. That’s a good thing, right? Planning I mean.” You ask, wondering if maybe you went too far.

“Well, since it seems to be so guaranteed… Yes, yes, that is exactly the thing to do. Hmm…” Spoiled trailed off there for a second once again, losing herself to her thoughts as she looked upon the burned pillar that once held the dragon’s platform. She knew, and felt, that she could never let something like this happen again. She nearly lost you, her future son, to her own arrogance.

“Mother, Daddy! I’m back and… Oh, everypony left already? Hmph” Said a young and familiar voice “How rude, considering the princess came to make her presence known.”

Hmm? The three of you look back to see an insulted Diamond Tiara, with a slightly embarrassed Princess Celestia behind her. Almost immediately, Spoiled and Filthy bow as you just look at her, and blink.

“Erm, I really just came to drop you off and see Anon, Princess Diamond." Celestia says to Diamond before looking to the Riches, feeling a sense of embarrassment from their respect. "And you needn’t bow, I’m just a spectator today, no need to be so formal.” Celestia was visibly uncomfortable. And fucking dammit, she had to say those fucking words. You did not, DID not want to talk to her if she had something “important” to tell you. Goddamnit.

“Nonsense, your Highness, it’s proper to bow and all, specially since you’ve been takin’ care of our own princess.” Filthy stands after his bow, looking rather proud to be in the presence of someone so high esteemed. “Speaking of, how was your time with our great Princess… Er… Princess.” He asks Diamond.

“Great! We laughed! We cried! Well… Princess Twilight cried more than I did for some reason. And we got to see Anon kick butt! Erm… I mean, pass his exam” Diamond does her best to calm down from her obvious excitement, and sound as proper as she can to impress Celestia and not upset her mother. “Indeed, even with the danger, Anon did splendidly. Wouldn’t you agree, Princess Celestia?”

Celestia was silent for a moment as she gazed upon Spoiled, who she herself was actually breaking a sweat in fright of what Celestia might think, fearing she knew the truth as to what happened. Celestia did, she must have, considering Discord’s words. But she didn’t say anything about it, she just looked to Diamond and smiled “Indeed, you could say I was ‘glued’ to the edge of my seat the entire time” She giggled as her eyes finally meet with you, finally noticing you. But she looked rather confused by your presence. “Anon? Is that you?”

“Anon?” Diamond looks around, then looks at your Dracula garbed self. “That’s Anon? But isn’t he down in the lobby?”

She didn’t recognize you? That actually… Kind of hurt. “Diamond, it’s me! Your prince! Heh, I guess this look is pretty stunning, eh? As for the Anon down there, it was a clone I made to please the crowd while I hang with your… Our parents.” You give her an awkward grin, and await her approval of your look.

“Stunning is right.” Diamond walks up to you with a huff and looks you over “Anon, do you even know what you look like?”

W-wut? “Erm… Charming?”

Celestia lets out a giggle when she realizes what Diamond is going on about. “Oh, I get it. Maybe it’s a princess’s intuition, but she’s upset because he looks like a villain with that hat and cloak.”

“Exactly.” Diamond says with an aristocratic nod as she whips her hoof up and knocks your silk hat off “Very astute fellow princess. Anon, how can you dress like this?” She gives you a mean stare as she ruffles your mane “There, nice and cute again, just like you’re supposed to look. Don’t EVER...” And she points at you with every word she utters as she gives you a serious stare “EVER dress as a villain again, ok?”

S-sheesh, o-ok, Dracula was definitely not in with the foals. “O-ok”

“Good” She then smiles and gives you a kiss on the nose, blushing from the soft look you were now giving her after the smooch. You just couldn't resist smiling and blushing from her physical attention. “You did amazing out there, Anon. If I didn’t know the whole thing coming down was part of the whole exam, I think I would have shattered like Princess Twilight nearly did.” She then moves in and whispers to you “I think she thought you were really gonna be crushed or drown or something, can you believe it? I didn’t realize she was so paranoid”

You know, it was probably a good thing Diamond didn’t know the truth. Not only could you not visualize the degree of her reaction, but you also couldn’t fathom you being able to do anything with your life ever again as she clamps herself to you to make sure you’re always safe. Yeah, this was totally better than that possibility. “She probably didn’t know. It’s fine though, because the important thing in all of this is that we’re together again. I bet you really cheered for me, huh?”

Diamond nodded profusely “Mhmm! Mhmm! With allllll my heart!”

D’awww, of course she did. You tilt your head very slightly as you smile at her “I knew you did, because I could feel it right here” You bring your hoof to your heart “And that’s what gave me the power to beat this test.”

Those words, Diamond suddenly felt dizzy and stunned as she gasped in amazement “R-Really?”

You nod as you kiss her nose “Yup!”

She started to feel woozy and step about in a daze “O-oh, Anon, t-that means we’re connected for s-sure…” She nearly falls over as she holds a hoof to her chest “B-by the heart.”

You knew that was just hogwash, but damn if it did not make her act more adorable. “Yep, forever and for always.” You say with a sure grin.

“I can definitely tell these two are going to be together forever. I don’t need to be Princess Cadance to be able to see that.” Celestia said with a wholesome giggle.

“Can we take that as your personal blessing, princess?” Mr. Rich asks “Would mean an awful lot since it seems everything is guaranteed”

Celestia nods “Of course. It’s been quite some time since I’ve seen such pure love between two foals, so I feel my blessing is well deserved.” Celestia then looks to you with a gentle smile “Anon, you seem well. It’s good to see you. Aside from the exam, and yesterday, how have you been?”

Hmmm, normal so far. Maybe, just maybe, you should keep it cool like Luna suggested. “I’m alright, and the exam nor yesterday was anything special, especially compared to the Storm King. How are you?”

“I’m doing fine, especially now that all the excitement is over. I really do congratulate you on a job well done, as I will be telling Scootaloo the same when I go see her before I go.” Celestia then looks over the vacating crowd as she nears the balcony of the box “Amazing that a bigger deal was made of this rather than the Storm King’s defeat. Then again, Twilight and her friends have gone through similar oddities. Would you believe that despite her princess title, she still has trouble getting a cab carriage in the bigger cities?” Celestia had herself a bit of a laugh “It’s funny actually… Though, I do wish ponies would be more respectful to each other, at least in cities like Manehatten.”

“Hmph, I agree. How could ponies be so rude to a Princess?! Not proper, not proper at all” Diamond says as she tries to sound as sophisticated as possible, still doing her best to impress Celestia.

“Very true, that’s why I’m glad a place like Twilight’s school will be opening soon. Teaching and spreading friendship in the way she dreams will hopefully minimize such a problem to the bare bone minimum. Oh, speaking of which, will you two be attending?” Celestia asks, with a sweet and loving smile on her face.

“No, I think I’ve mastered friendship already. While it’d be an honor to be in Princess Twilight’s school, it might take my focus away from being a real princess myself” Diamond stands tall with a satisfied smile on her face, feeling she took a wise course of action. She made herself already seem like a master of friendship.

“I’m not either, I’d rather not say the reasons.” You just didn’t feel like it at this point. You mastered friendship and you didn’t want to be under Twilight. Ok sure, it can help would be villains find the right path, but that’s all it has going for it.

“I see, well, I won’t pry then. In any case, may I borrow your colt for a moment, Diamond? I promise to return him to you quickly.” Celestia asks

“Promise? You’re not going to use your girly wiles to make him fall in love with you, right? I read princesses can do that! But, you know, you’re Princess Celestia, So I think there's a high chance you won’t do that! You wouldn’t let him passing that test attract you, right?” Diamond said with a shiver, pouting at Princess Celestia, her questions coming out at a rapid pace.

G-guh! D-did she? Was she really afraid you’d fall for Celestia? Well, maybe, Celestia was hot. But the fact that you were still internally mad at her took away any real attraction towards her and her juicy sunbutt.

Celestia was taken aback by Diamond’s worries, even she hadn’t realized that her love for you ran so deep as to fear her in regard of love and attraction “N-no, you needn’t worry. Part of being a Princess is self control. And besides, he’s far too young for me.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right!” Diamond said with relief “I forgot you’re like, ten million years old or something.”

OHHHHHH, HOLY SHIT! You had to turn around to hide your smile, because that was one sick burn.

Hell, Celestia tensed up at those words, and gave her cheek a quick rub as she subconsciously checked herself for a wrinkle. She then looked to Diamond and gave her a meek nod “Y-yes, that’s, sort of right. Ahrm, erm, I’ll be stepping out now. I-it was nice seeing all of you… Hmmm” She took a breath, and gave Spoiled a serious look for a moment, causing her to tense “And Mrs. Rich, I very much enjoyed myself today, I’ll be keeping a closer eye on you.” Celestia’s expression then became pleasant “I wouldn’t want to miss anything else you might have planned.”

Mrs. Rich gulped, and quaked where she stood as she bowed “T-thank you, you r-r-really do honor me, Princess Celestia” Wow, it was odd seeing her shaky like that. You didn't think anything could scare her.

Celestia nods to her, then bows to the Riches as she winks to Diamond “Take care for now, and remember what I told you, Princess Diamond”

“I will! I super will! A-and don’t be too long with Anon, o-ok?” Diamond seemed excited and meek at the same time. And told her? Told her what?

“I’ll remember.” Celestia said as she made her exit, expecting you to follow.

Fucking dammit. Surely this won’t end poorly, right? Why did she even want to speak to you privately? Things went fine! The conversation was fine! Any Gary Stu would have loved this attention. You? Where’s a gun when you need one? you need to suck down on a bullet.

You both step out to the stairway, and head out through the entrance of the V.I.P. box. You were tense, the fuck did she want? “Princess Celestia, why are we alone?”

Celestia lets out a sorrowful sigh as she looks up at the bright blue sky. “Because there’s something I’d like to talk to you about, even though perhaps I shouldn’t”

Wut? What did she want? Why shouldn’t she? “Why talk to me in private then? Why at all?” You really didn’t want to have this conversation if you could avoid it. If it was this level of.. Whatever it was, then you didn’t want to deal with it, not with Celestia involved anyway.

Celestia’s body tensed for a moment. She sensed your displeasure, and whatever she had to say, it seemed even she didn’t like it. “I think you know why. My sister suggested I keep things casual with you, but it’s difficult when you happen to be the second pony I’ve ever known… That I’ve hurt.”

That she hurt? Did she mean…? No, she did, she meant the shit with Chrysalis. So then, now she wants to settle things about that? Well, about fucking time! And the mention of Luna, it was the same thing Luna had spoken to you about. No doubt Luna had some feeling that this topic still haunted you deep inside, as she knew it bothered Celestia as well. She must have felt that avoiding those thoughts altogether whenever you two happen to be around each other would be the only way to avoid an altercation. Well, you can’t be blamed for this, Celestia is the one who started it. The only thing you wondered about, in regard to Celestia's words, was this other pony she hurt. “Do you mean with Chrysalis? Yeah, you did. You threatened me, tricked me, and cost me a good friend. So what, are you apologizing? Kinda late for that, ain’t it? And what do you mean by ‘second pony’? Who else did you hurt?”

“My sister…” Celestia says, without a dubious or shady tone in her two words. “Anon, I wanted to speak to you so I could apologize for how I had treated you when Chrysalis was with you. Like my sister, I treated things as if I knew best, and without thought as to how you truly felt on the matter. And for that, I’m sorry.”

Wut?

No… Wait. She was apologizing? NOW SHE CHOOSES TO APOLOGIZE?! And wait, why? Why compare you to Luna? What’s her sthick? And did she fucking still think she was right? Because you didn’t hear her say she was wrong. “Yeah… Ok. You’re sorry, but you still think you’re right, don’t you?”

Celestia didn’t act like you expected her to, she didn’t seem shocked that you didn’t immediately accept her apology. She let out a heavy sigh, and looked down, as if in shame. “I do, but…” She then looks ahead with determination “Look at the end result. An entire race, enslaved by their own mother, free from her grasp and able to do what is in their hearts. I gave her that same choice, Anon, and she chose to reject it. My apologies are for the way I treated you and Discord only, It was… Deplorable”

You let out a disgusted chuckle “Deplorable? No, it was worse than that” Fuck this, she was the one who decided to start this, so Luna couldn’t blame you for what you were going to say now. For a long time you tried to look past that moment, or more so, the way Celestia handled it. She tricked you, manipulated you, and threatened you. If that was the kind of shit that made Luna into Nightmare Moon, then you too had every right to be pissed off. “You couldn’t just leave it alone!” You angrily point your hoof at her. “I had everything under control until you and the other princesses showed up. From Twilight nearly banishing me, to your sister’s dream spying, to you… You…” You growled, fury building up within you as memories flowed into your head “She was under control! She helped me save another dimension. No matter what you say, no one who is that evil would have done what she did, even given the circumstances!”

Celestia could tell you were going to be difficult. She couldn’t believe the stance you still took after all this time. “Anon, you surprise me” She says, doing her best to remain calm. “She had been working her way to breaking Discord’s curse. Surely you have come to realize that at this point. She may have been your friend, but she worked towards a goal of domination nonetheless.”

“Hmph” You knew that already, she had manipulated a distraught Discord into getting a free pass to wander Equestria as your sister. And she was using Scrappy in finding any way to break the curse. “So? There was only so far she can go. Even if she got to her throne… And? She’d be alone, there’d be no way for her to do anything. Heck, if you wanted to reform the changelings, that would have been the perfect time. With her away, Thorax could have done his thing and I’d still have a shot at reforming her! But no, it was your way or the highway. And only NOW do you want to apologize? That’s screwed up, Celestia, even for you!”

Celestia started to show signs of frustration. She obviously didn’t expect or want the conversation to go down this road. She must have thought her apology wouldn’t have incited such rage in you. “Anon, let me explain this to you in a way you can understand. One, she would have still been uncursed and with a throne that can remove even Discord’s power. Foalnapping somepony you care about to use as a hostage would have certainly been her penultimate move. With no way to penetrate her barrier without going in defenseless, she would have had what she wanted eventually. And no, sending an army in wouldn’t work, especially with her acquired new found cruelty. She would have threatened to take her hostage’s life unless her demands were met, that I’m sure of. And even if she didn’t, there’s still too large a risk.” Celestia gives you a hard stare “Tell me I’m wrong, Anon. If you can tell me that and why, I’ll concede right now.”

It was obvious to you that she still felt in the right. It made you feel that her apology wasn’t as genuine as she’d lead you to believe. Whether that was true or not was not on your mind however. Instead, you met her challenge head on. “You’re wrong! Even if Chrysalis was still evil, she wouldn’t go as far as to piss me off enough to hate her. Despite what you think, she really was getting better. So, you gonna back off now?”

But she would not, Celestia was in for the long haul in this conversation. What the hell?! Why?! Why won’t she back the fuck off! “No, because you can’t be sure of that.”

“Neither can you” You growl “Why, Celestia? Just why?! Really? Because you were sorry? And yet you still want to defend your actions?! Well…” Wait. If that was her reason, did that mean that for all the years she lived, she never pissed anyone off? Was she really doing her best, almost mechanically so, to make everyone around her happy? Now that you think of it, aside from Nightmare Moon, some villains, and Discord, you have never ever heard anyone say anything or think negatively of Celestia. No, they usually treat her as the end all be all of everything. And then there was alternate Celestia. She fell apart to insanity when she felt she failed her kind, Sunset, Luna, and Philomena. You knew Pinkie could lose her marbles easily, and even she was more mentally stable than her in that universe. Could it be that Celestia… Has the same kind of obsession you have? That if she fails someone, that she does her best to fix it? Like, if she didn’t or couldn’t, she’d turn into some being like Nightmare Moon? or some shit like that?

Oh no, goddammit. She really did want to apologize, but she won’t budge because her care also goes to those she’s sworn to protect, which now included the changelings. She’s stuck with a conundrum. She wanted to apologize, perhaps even make sure something like this never happens again. And yet, she felt the end result was the best possible outcome. And giving it a little thought, Luna managed to save you a huge amount of trouble by helping Scootaloo after she got majorly drained. If Celestia had to be right about one thing, is that Chrysalis was able to overstep herself as she pleased without much repercussion. Maybe she really could find a way to win in the end. Still, she was your friend, one you enjoyed your time with greatly.

You had two choices, to tell Celestia off, or meet her down the middle. And to not set off the local Princess, and to maybe finally make good with Celestia, you choose the latter option. You look up at her, and could see both restraint and agitation coursing through her entire body. You sigh, calm down, and hoped this works. Because if you finished the rant you had, you'd have no doubt caused another Nightmare incident. “Well… Ugh, Celestia. Look, I know I did some things wrong, and should have handled things better. But when it comes to my friendship with Chrysalis, despite everything that’s happened, I’d like to at least think that maybe one day, she’d come around. Yeah, things came out better than anypony could have hoped, and for that I’m glad. But I’ll always have that wish that things would have worked out the way I wanted it to, because I care about her. So, if it’s all the same to you, can we just stop talking about this? I accept your apology, I can’t reverse what has happened, but I still wish you had trusted me better. I mean, come on, I helped save Equestria from the Storm King. I don’t wanna sound rude, but considering how well you did against him, I feel like you owe me more of your trust and understanding. So yeah, is that fair? Is that ok? Can you just accept my friendship with her?”

Celestia heard your words. She calmed herself, but she was still frowning as she looked to you with worry. “If you were to run into her again, I assume you’d do your best to help her, rather than to bring her to justice. I’m right about that, correct? Please be truthful with me, Anon.”

“Yeah, if I did run into her again, I’d do my best to reform her or at least try to get her to calm down. I mean, you sort of gave Discord that chance, right? Can you blame me for wanting to do the same thing? Just to remind you, Discord brought Equestria closer to destruction than Chrysalis ever could have.”

Celestia does a slow nod, and sighs “You are correct about that. Even after his treason, he was given a chance. Heh…” Celestia lets out a lamented chuckle “I suppose I’d be a hypocrite to chastise you or try to stop you. I don’t like it, but I can’t stop you either. But please, I ask you, should that happen, please tread cautiously, and do not let her manipulate you. You must remember, when it comes to her, she is capable of anything, and I would…” She stops, and looks at you with great worry in her eyes “I’m afraid of her hurting the ponies I have sworn to protect. That same fear is why I made the threats before. And now I am trying to overlook that fear to say that you have my blessing to try to reform her, should you meet her again. It’s hard, Anon, it’s hard to know she’s out there, possibly hurting others for her own benefit. It’s even harder to try to overlook the relationship you both share. I won’t threaten you, it’s wrong to do so. So all I ask is your promise to take ABSOLUTE caution should you actually meet with her again. Can you do that for me?”

She was struggling. She didn’t want to upset you, and she didn’t want to put her subjects at risk. To even ask you to make that promise, it meant she expected you to not let Chrysalis hurt anyone under you watch, and it also meant breaking that promise would lead to all kinds of trouble and trust issues once again. She had ponies to protect and watch over, so even the promise existing went against her sensibilities. If it meant her calming her shit, then fine, you’d make that promise. “You have my word. But only if you’ll calm down, relax, and chill. We can be friends without you being suspicious of me all the time. Celestia, I never wanted to hate you at all, you know? But everything before really brought me close to it. So, yeah, will you relax a little? I’m a lot smarter than before, I’ve matured, I understand things better. So I can promise you I’ll handle it a lot better this time, if I get the chance anyway.”

Celestia nodded, and raised her wings and slowly brought them to you, to bring you close for a hug. Her voice cracked a little, she was tearing up as she did her best to remain composed. “Thank you, and I really am sorry. If I could, I would have wanted everypony to be happy, even her.”

You believed her, and calmed your own nerves. If she was willing to calm down, then you’d do the same. “I’m sorry too. It’s just kinda hard, you know? It was hard balancing my life way back when. When I had to lie about nearly everything. I was essentially living three lives. My Equestrian life, my normal life, and the life of having to deal with everyone who was suspicious of me or just downright didn’t trust me. I just want ponies to trust me. I want you to trust me. I want to be able to go about my life without somepony getting in my face over my life choices. So, please, I’ve made the promise, so relax ok? Can we just be friends, without all this… crap?” You were sincere, you wanted this. You just wanted to be able to do this, and to be friends with Celestia without her breathing down your throat.

“Yes… Yes, I think so. I’d like to be able to have this friendship with you again, a friendship I’d like to have with anypony, and everypony, if I was able. So… erm.” Celestia ended the hug, and looked into your eyes with a weak smile “is there any more ‘crap’ between us, Anon?”

For now? No “Nah, if you’re willing to trust me, then I’m willing to keep my word. Oh, and…” Now that things were ok, there was one other matter you need to make sure of before anything else. “I think Mrs. Rich learned her lesson, so if you were gonna say anything to her, can you not? I’m sure she understands what she did was wrong.”

Celestia nodded “I can do that. I could already see in her eyes and in her demeanor that she understood her mistakes. I admit, I’m more upset at Discord. Or was. Now that everything's alright, there’s no reason to be upset at him any more.” Celestia then lets out a gentle giggle “Poor Twilight, she nearly tore off the fur on her rump trying to get out of her seat. Looking back at it now, it’s actually kind of funny. Even when she stood, you could see some of her bottom was quite bare”

Heh, you found that a little funny. But believing you were going to die during that situation, you couldn’t blame Twilight for that reaction. “That is pretty funny. Actually, speaking of scared ponies.” Ok Anon, show a sign of goodwill, make a connection. “I wouldn’t mind challenging you to another scare battle for next Nightmare Night. I mean, you kinda cheated last time, and I’d like to have a legit chance in scaring the cutie mark off your butt.”

Celestia, at first, seemed surprised by your words. But then she gave you a warm smile, and nodded. “I suppose those pies were a bit underhoofed, but we did need a way to even out the playing field some. Personally, I didn’t expect the dream realm to limit you and Discord that much. But this time we can face each other in the waking world if you so desire.” Celestia then looked to you as she wiggled her eyebrows “That way my sister and I’s victory can be considered truly official.”

Ohhhhh no, now that was a challenge. You point your hoof at her as you spout off “Screw that! Did you forget how trained up I am now? There’s no way you can beat me and Dad! I mean, you couldn’t even beat him without the elements. So yeah, in the waking world? That win is already in the bag.”

Celestia let out a calm giggle “We’ll see about that. I still have a few extra tricks up my horseshoes. But…” Celestia’s smile becomes warm and sunny, just as it should be “However it turns out, I hope the four of us have fun during the battle, as that is all that matters in the end. Thank you, Anon. I think I’ll be able to rest easier now. I hope you have a good day, and I wish you good tidings on your upcoming ‘wedding’ “

“Going already? Heh, I’m guessing you had to make your schedule tight just to be able to come here today.”

Celestia nodded “I did. Given how quickly this all was planned out, I had to make last minute adjustments just to attend today and I still have to congratulate young Scootaloo. You take care, alright?”

You do a polite bow to her “You too, I’m glad we had this chat.”

And with that, Celestia left. You just stood there, took a breath, and fell on your backside. Holy shit…

Finally…

You got through to her. You were so relieved that you didn’t care that you were laying there and getting your nice clothes dirty. Hell, with the way you handled it, you could now deal with Chrysalis once again if she ever showed up. Give it a much better try now that you were smarter, stronger, and more in control.

Hell, you raise your cloak and pull over your saddlebag to grab your map. Since Chrysalis was mentioned, you wanted to see for sure that she wasn’t here. That green glow from the exam was probably the statue’s magical engine or whatever going awry or something. It couldn’t possibly be…

“OH SHIT NO! NO NO NO!” You saw it, your eyes widened when you saw it. Chrysalis’s dot was moving away from town, away from the Colosseum. “Don’t tell me… Don’t fucking… “. It hit you like a brick. Celestia had mentioned Chrysalis could have possibly pulled off something humanly cruel to succeed in her plans, but you were sure she’d never do anything to piss you off. No, instead, she tried to fucking kill you?! And Scootaloo?! Oh no… No no no… It can’t be true...

You were going spastic, just… how?! WHY?! Why would she try to kill you?! Ok, sure, she may feel pretty betrayed, that could be a thing. But goddammit! You two were still good friends, right?! Then why would she publically try to kill you?! Maybe, just maybe you can…

No, you can’t. You already spent the horn’s two charges for the day. God fucking dammit. “DAMMMIIIIIIIIITTT!”. There was no way to find out, no way to know! Why, just…

“Anon? Anon! What’s wrong with you?! Are you alright, are you ok?!” You hear a frantic girly shriek behind you before you feel yourself getting snuggled and hugged “Did you suddenly get attacked by other fillies?!”. Oh, it was Diamond Tiara. She was looking around already, trying to spot anyone who was closeby. But other than the ponies leaving the Colosseum, no one was around you. “Nopony at all. Hmph, nopony even coming to give you a congratulations. That’s just not right!”

Shit… You nearly lost your marbles there. Fuck, how were you going to handle this? How were you going to handle her? You can’t just go and tell Celestia you were wrong. No, no… You had to get more information first. You had to, when you get the chance, speak to Scrappy and see if he knows anything. He still had some devotion to her, so he has to know something. As for Diamond, you began to soften up as she cuddled you close. “I think it might be my getup”

“Maybe, still. Hmph… Mnnn…” She now looks to you, worried. She helps you to your hooves and brushes off your clothes to remove the dirt. “What happened then? Are you ok?”

Do not let her know, Anon, do not let her know. You put on a big fake smile for her and say “I just realized that I… Uhm… used both my charges for the day. I wanted to impress Princess Celestia with a trick, but y’know. Hahah… Heh.”

“Oh… Wait!” Diamond suddenly became frantic, and looked into your eyes with worried desperation “You didn’t embarrass yourself, did you?! Is that why she left?! Anon! You can’t be doing that! What if word spreads and everypony starts treating you badly?! Grrrr…” Diamond growled at the very thought “Which they better not! Or else…”

Oh god, did you really worry her that much?! It was like she was willing to murder… Don’t finish that thought, you don’t want to think of Diamond as a yandere. “No, no! It’s ok. She just had important princess stuff to do, that’s all, she didn’t make fun of me or anything. Heck, she went to congratulate Scootaloo before she actually left. Everything is ok! A-ok! No reason to think otherwise!” You say, obviously lying as sweat came down your brow.

But Diamond still buys it. “Oh, ok then. I guess she did have to squeeze in coming here into her schedule after all. And it’s good she went to congratulate Scootaloo, she deserves it!” Diamond said with a sweet smile “Now come on! We gotta go to Silver Spoon’s and tell her the good news!”

Silver Spoon? “Uh, why? Why isn’t she even here? I’d think she’d have been here to see all this.”

“She got sick! Oh, right!” Diamond giggled to herself “I forgot to tell you that! I erm… I guess all the excitement kind of overwhelmed me. Ah well, doesn’t matter. Let’s go!”

But wait… What about food? “Erm, actually Diamond. I was kinda invited to eat out with Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo, that’s ok, right?”

“B-but…” Diamond pouts “Don’t you want to hang with me and Silver Spoon? And… wait, eat out?”

“Erm…” Your eyes went wide right there. What did she think you mean? What did she know?! What did you mean?! HOLY CRAP?! DID YOU INFER…

But before you could say anything else, she whaps you on the head with her hoof as she angrily berates you “You were about to let me take you away from eating and filling your belly?! Oh wait..” Diamond stops, and adorably contemplates on her own words “I guess we could eat at Silver Spoon’s. Then again, you are eating with an element. I could go with you, but then who is going to help Silver Spoon get better? In fact, if I stay with her alone, we can talk about the wedding without you finding out anything.” Diamond nods to herself, then gives you a hard stare as she points towards the direction to the trainee’s lobby, or whatever it was called “Ok Anon, go eat! And you better not show up later and eavesdrop. Ok?”

Thank God, or Celestia, or Discord… whatever. She was willing to let you go and eat. Although, hanging out with her didn’t sound like a bad idea at all. She picked up on your nuances and worry too easily, and you needed some quiet time to sort out your thoughts. Not only on Chrysalis, but this whole Neighsay business. “Ok, thank you, Diamond, you’re the best” You reach your head over to kiss her nose. But she puts her hoof on your forehead and gently pushes back.

She then points at you again, with the same serious expression “Not yet, Anon. You also have to promise to come see me tonight.”

Tonight? Should you ask why? No, don’t ask, that would upset her. “Ok”

“Ok? You’re not going to ask why?” Diamond said, seeming insulted by your answer.

Dammit! But! But you didn’t want to insult her! That’s why you just said ‘ok’. “I just didn’t...erm, want to insult you by asking why. So, erm… why? I guess?”

She then gives you a gentle kiss on the nose as she looks at you with a blush “So you can wish your princess good night, of course! Also, so you can tell me when I can sleep over. I mean, duh, wasn’t it obvious?”

Uhhhh, if it was obvious, then why did she want you to ask about it at all? Ugh, girls, they never make fucking sense sometimes. “Right, you want to sleep at my house… with me. On my bed…” And oh boy, did that make you go deep red.

Even if she didn’t understand it, hearing you shakingly say those words did seem to put a thought in her head that caused her to blush “Mhmm… So we can erm, cuddle, and talk about stuff. Like, totally cool stuff.” She said as she shyly looked away.

Cuddling. You did like to cuddle, and you did want to cuddle with her. It’s not like you’d slip up and do something… lewd. Nah, it’d be ok. And it’d probably feel a lot less lonely having her closeby. “I’ll get that set up for sure, my princess. You have fun with Silver, ok?” You say as you give her a smooch on her nose, which she allows this time.

“I-I will, and you have fun too! And make sure you fill your belly, ok?” She smooches you back. “And make sure no filly tries to get you to go home with her. Got it?” She looks into your eyes to make sure there would be no deceit in your words. Cute, but she really wouldn’t be able to tell either way.

Besides, you had no eye for any other filly, so you give her a sure nod. “I will, and don’t worry. My eyes? Only for you”

And with that, you went on your way around the Colosseum towards the lobby Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo were in. As you circled the Colosseum, you could see some ponies gathered around in crowds. Some were discussing the fate of the Colosseum itself, others about you, some even eyeing you and trying to make an approach towards you. But you made haste, not wanting to stop for anything. Chrysalis’s presence was still on your mind, and you had to focus.

When you reached the lobby entrance, the ponies guarding the door had already gone, and there didn’t seem to be any sign of Celestia either as you opened the door to go on inside. Well, that was quick. You also decide to shed the clothes you were wearing. If Diamond didn't like them, then there was no point in keeping them on.

“...And did you hear her?! Even Princess Celestia thinks I’m Wonderbolt material! That’s… So… AWESOME!” You could hear Scootaloo cheer in the main foyer of the room, hopping up and down on the couch with glee. “I can’t wait to tell the girls!”

Rainbow Dash, as you could see, was just looking upon her with pride. It was a sweet moment to see that Rainbow Dash truly saw Scootaloo as more than just a little kid, as some sort of little sister. She even had a tear in her eye as she watched Scootaloo happily hop about.

But you had to stop this if you wanted to talk to Scootaloo. You knew, you just knew, that you had to get some information somehow, and Scootaloo really is a good way to get it. “Heya guys, looks like Celestia’s visit went well. She just came and went?”

“Anon!” Scootaloo hopped down immediately and trotted in place in front of you happily “It went super well! She thinks I’m Wonderbolt material! Just like Rainbow Dash and Captain Spitfire! That’s soooo awesome! Super awesome! Isn’t it awesome?!”

It was, it really was. But dammit, this was important. You give her a smile and nod “That is super awesome indeed! But erm… Can I borrow you for a second? Hey Dash, can I borrow her for a second?”

“Wha? Why? We were just about to go catch up with Spitfire. Said she wanted to treat us herself. Can’t you save it for later? And why private? C’mon Anon, whatever you got to say to Scootaloo, you can tell me too.” Rainbow Dash says, ignorant of the importance of what you had to say.

“She’s kind of right, Anon. What’s so important that you can’t tell Rainbow Dash? I mean, I know Captain Spitfire made me a Junior Wonderbolt, but Rainbow Dash is one of the best! So she should be in on it.” Scootaloo, of course, agreed with Rainbow Dash. Because why not?

Fuck. Well, maybe you could still convince her. Scootaloo, out of the three CMC anyway, was a good friend, and understood the most how you felt about Chrysalis. So she should hopefully follow your lead if you at least whisper to her the subject of what you want to talk about. So you ease in close to her ear and whisper... “Scootaloo, it’s Chrysalis, she was here. Please, I need to talk to you alone about this.”

Scootaloo’s eyes went wide, her ears stiffen as her body shivers just from those words. She then looks to you, then to Rainbow Dash. What was she going to say? Was that even a good idea?

“Hey, what did you tell her? Scootaloo, you ok? You look a little spooked.” Rainbow Dash asked, worried as to what suddenly got her so freaked out.

“Oh um! Nothing spooked me! Ha ha!” Scootaloo laughed meekly as she started to back up towards the entrance of the course itself. “But erm, I do gotta talk to Anon alone and stuff. Y’know, it’s kind of embarrassing for him.”

Now Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes at you, wondering even further what the hell you told her “Yeah? Like what?”

Shit. Something embarrassing, something… Oh goddammit, fine! But you were sure Fluttershy would find out about this later and do her best to “help”. You take a breath, and say, as honestly as you can “B-bed wetting issues. Y’know, Scoots is somepony I really tru-”

“Woah! Woah! Say no more, Anon. Erm… uhhh…” Rainbow Dash didn’t know what to say to that as she rubbed her leg with her hoof and looked away with a grimace “Yeah… go… erm… I’m gonna go get Captain Spitfire, so erm… yeah…” And with that, Rainbow Dash left to find Spitfire, leaving you and Scootaloo alone.

“Bed wetting, really?” Scootaloo said as she stopped making her way towards the entrance to the course, looking at you with an eyebrow raise “I’m kind of surprised Rainbow Dash bought that.”

“It was the only thing I could think of! Sheesh! And that’s not important… Scoots, I need your help”

Scootaloo took a long breath as her hateful memories of Chrysalis began to fill her mind. She looked at you, not in worry, but in a bit of suspicion of you instead. “With Chrysalis? You need my help with her? Anon, come on! I thought we were all done with her already! She was evil, and holding back her own kids! She’s not even supposed to be here anymore! Did you see her or something? What’s going on?!”

Dammit Scootaloo, why did she have to be inquisitive? Ok sure, Chrysalis gave her every reason to hate her. And… that’s it really. Ok, just remain calm and explain the situation. “No, I saw her leaving on my map. And…” On second thought, leave out the part where you think she tried to kill the both of you. Without conclusive evidence, and with Scootaloo already on the hate train, that was probably a bad idea. “Erm… Yeah, look. I haven’t talked to her, but she had to be here for a reason, don’t you think?”

“Puh…” Scootaloo scoffed “Probably wanted to try to take out the princesses or something, but realized she couldn’t do anything because she’s dumb.”

“Yeah, well… I need to figure out why she was here, the real reason she was here. So I was wondering, do you think you can ask Scrappy if he knows anything? I’d ask, but he’d probably make me challenge him for the information.” Please Scoots, she has to at least do that.

“If he knows anything? Anon! Scrappy is totally a good guy now. He’d never ever talk to Chrysalis about anything! Heck, he’d try to bring her to justice if he could.” Scootaloo said, insulted that you’d even come close to suggesting Scrappy would even go near her anymore.

“Scoots! Come on! You know that’s not true! He loves all of you, but also loves her. He’d do the same thing I do and try to get her, his mother, to be good. I’m not suggesting he’d betray us or anything, I just need information. If Chrysalis is planning something, I need to know, if only because I am the only one who could properly trace her if need be.” Or rather, you didn’t want the princesses involved, as you were sure Twilight has some magical bullshit that could easily trace her.

Scootaloo sat on her butt and crossed her hooves, silent, and unmoved.

“Scoots, please. I’m asking you as a friend. I know Scrappy would never join her or anything like that. But there’s still a chance she may have tried to talk to him, and asked him to keep it a secret. If he knows anything, then I need to know too. If it’s something dangerous…” As if, if she really wanted you dead “Then I need to stop her. Please, help me out here.”

Scootaloo didn’t budge from her position, but you could tell she was thinking hard on it. After awhile, she finally relented and let out a heavy sigh. “Oh boy, I really hoped she wouldn’t bother anypony ever again. Anon…” She looked to you, with genuine worry in her heart. She hated to even think she'd tried to go near Scrappy, but it also hurt her to see you so distressed over it. Especially since she thought you still thought there was any good in her. “If it’ll help you, then ok, I’ll ask Scrappy. Better we find out than just letting her do what she wants. But you gotta promise me not to do anything dumb, alright? If you’re gonna tell me about all this, then that makes us a team! And… erm…” Scootaloo started to think on all the praise she got today, as well as being given the title of Junior Wonderbolt. “You and me? We gotta stick by each other, no matter what. I know what I did that one time was stupid, but I’ll be more careful this time. If Chrysalis is doing something bad, then you’ll totally need my help, ok?” She holds her hoof out towards you, in trust you’ll shake it “Partner?”

You look at her hoof. Dammit, did she really want to get THIS involved again? You could handle it this time! You knew you could! All you needed her to do was get the info out of Scrappy, that’s all. If you had to shake her hoof, then fine, but you weren’t truly going to let her in on anything important. You had to protect her, so that meant truly facing Chrysalis alone. “Ok, partner.” You reach for her hoof, and give it a shake. “Thanks Scoots, I knew I could count on you.”

“Don’t sweat it, Anon. We’re a hero duo, you and me. The Hero Colt and the Junior Wonderbolt! We’re like, Wonderbolt Hero Duo… or something like that. Erm, heh, I’ll think of a better team name later. But right now, let’s just forget about her, ok? I wanna eat already.” Scootaloo said as she gave her tummy a rub “I’m starving!”

It was clear Scootaloo didn’t want to think about it too much. That she wanted Chrysalis as far away from her mind as possible. She was worried that you were around, yes. But in the back of her head, despite agreeing with you, she felt Twilight and the others would handle it as they always would. But just the same, she felt as well, that if you somehow ended up in danger, she’d be there to help you, just as you saved her when the platform collapsed.

“Alright, I need some food myself. Kind of got a few other things I gotta do today. Erm, thanks Scootaloo, really. I couldn’t ask for a better partner.” You say, being mostly truthful.

“No prob! I don’t like Chrysalis very much, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like you. You got my back, right? Well, that means I got yours.” She says with a friendly grin.

Yeah… Right...

While you muddled in your own thoughts. You and Scootaloo are caught offguard when you see Rainbow Dash walking backwards through the entrance, struggling with something. “Sheesh! This is heavy! Was this really necessary?!” Rainbow Dash said with several grunts as she stepped back enough to reveal that she was balancing a huge sealed bowl on her muzzle, but it was also being balanced on another muzzle belonging to…

“I didn’t say I was gonna take you all out, I said I was gonna get take out! You think we’re gonna be able to eat without a crowd rushing at us when they're still hyped up about this whole thing? Besides, what are you complaining about?! I paid top bit for this thing.” On the other side of Rainbow Dash, helping her balance the bowl, was Spitfire. The bowl was fucking massive, it made you wonder how she even got this far without any help at all… but probably best not to think about the specifics. On her back was a smaller bowl of what smelled like warm garlic sticks while her tail held up a bucket with ice and drinks in it. “This meal is more for them than it is for us. So stop bellyachin’ and help me set this thing down!” You and Scootaloo stood in awe as Rainbow and Spitfire carefully placed down the bowl. Spitfire then used her wings to set the breadsticks down. She then, with a quick snap of her tail, tossed the bucket over the bowl, landing right beside it without spill. “There we go! Ok then…” Spitfire used her teeth to grab the seal on the bowl, and pulled it back and then off, revealing a near endless pool of spaghetti. It had sauces, a slight amount of pepper, Asiago, Oregano, and some hayballs. Holy shit, it smelled so damn good.

“Wow… Is this for us? A-are you both gonna eat with us? I mean, right here? As in… Privately?” Scootaloo was starstruck for sure, she didn’t expect a private meal with her hero and the Captain of the Wonderbolts.

“Yeah” Spitfire said with a shrug as she sat down “After all that? I think you two really deserve it. But relax on that attitude, soldier, we’re all ponies here.”

Scootaloo saluted as she did her best to calm down “Yes ma’am, Captain Spitfire” before whispering “Soooo cool”

Your thoughts had been temporarily vanquished by that hulking bowl of spaghetti, it looked so damn good. “So, we can have as much as we want then?”

“Yep! Enough here to feed ten of us really, so don’t feel like you need to hold back on pigging out. Didn’t expect it myself, but…” Rainbow Dash licked her lips when she looked at a single bottle of apple cider sticking out of the bucket “That’s how amazing our Captain is”

“Yeah well, like I said, well deserved. And I kinda didn’t have room to bring bowls or utensils or anything like that, so really, just pig out, I’ll overlook it this once.” Spitfire said as she sat by the bowl and started eating from it like a horse… Grazing on the grass. Huh…

And so the four of you sat, ate, and chatted. There were sodas for you and Scootaloo, Apple Cider for Dash, and Spitfire just had a thermos of iced coffee. Weird she’d be drinking coffee at this time, but she probably didn’t get any sleep due to the test. You also noticed she was the least enthused out of the four of you. Indeed, her answers were small as Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash basically traded how “cool” everything was about the exam and such.

“...Yep, Scootaloo. After today? I can tell you’re gonna make one super awesome Wonderbolt when you grow up!” Rainbow Dash said with certainty as she took a swig of cider.

“T-thanks, Rainbow Dash! That really means a lot to me! You can bet I’m gonna keep training my wings until I’m able to fly just as good as you and…” Scootaloo suddenly quieted down for a moment “Y’know, I mean... mnnn…” Scootaloo just tilted her head to the side as her wings gave a few weak flaps. “I…” Poor Scoots, you knew just connecting such a promising future to her wings always crushed her spirits. You wanted to say something at this moment to cheer her up, but Spitfire and Rainbow Dash were far more on point than you were, most likely due to your own shit you had to worry about.

“C’mon, Scootaloo, how many times do I gotta tell ya? You’re just a late bloomer, that’s all. And considering you beat the tar out of this exam? Yeah, when you do start flying, You’re gonna be the best Wonderbolt ever!” Rainbow Dash says with an enthusiastic wave of her hoof.

“Best Wonderbolt? Maybe. I don’t like to get anypony’s hopes up too high like that…” Spitfire says, already dealing a blow to Scootaloo's ego. Spitfire purposely waited for Scootaloo to hang her head down in sadness again before she said “But you don’t gotta worry when it comes to becoming a fully fledged Wonderbolt. You got the skills, kid. All the years I’ve been Captain and I’ve never seen anypony use their wings to coast across mud like that. That requires some serious wingpower. I’ll be real with you, Scootaloo, it just seems to me your wings are more built for horizontal movement, and trust me, that is some movement. So when you’re able to go vertical? Oh boy, I just hope you don’t make the other cadets look like parasprites, don’t wanna hurt their ego too bad, y’know?”

Scootaloo gulped, confused, yet feeling a huge sense of pride grow within herself “Y-you really think I’m that good?”

Spitfire slurps up a long strand of spaghetti and gives Scootaloo a cool smirk and says “I don’t ‘think’, kid.” Before giving her a wink.

“Woooooooooooooah! I just got super complimented by Rainbow Dash AND Captain Spitfire! And… A-and…” Scootaloo fell on her back, with a cute squee and warm smile as she wiggled about, her voice was now small and weak from too much excitement “S-so awesome…”

You had to smile at that. That was really heart-warming. But as you looked at the pride filled filly, Spitfire suddenly says some words to you too. “So, Anon. You haven’t really said much, something on your mind?”

Gnh! Shit! You quickly look back at Spitfire as you take a swig of soda, keeping your cool. You didn’t need anyone getting into your business. “Not really, other than wanting to thank you. Scootaloo is one of my best pals, so thanks for making her happy.”

That seems to throw her off, if she was suspicious of anything anyway. “I wasn’t making her happy, just stating facts. How she reacts is her own thing.” She lied, she totally meant to make her happy. “Y’know, I’ve actually been wanting to sit down with you and have a little chat.”

A little chat? “Erm. Why?”

“Because, I kinda wanna know how you helped beat the Storm King. I bet it’s one radical story. I also want to apologize to you… Well…” Spitfire lets out a defeated sigh “The both of you actually. The Wonderbolts are about a lot of things. But above else, we value safety. And despite knowing how dangerous this all could have been, I didn’t call it off. As the Captain of the Wonderbolts, I take full responsibility for that, so it’s my duty to not only apologize, but resign from my position if anypony here has any grievances. What happened here is a crime, and I can’t overlook that… So, y’know.” Spitfire gulped “Let me have it…”

Spitfire was obviously harboring a ton of guilt for what happened. Hell, she was complaining about safety issues before the exam even started. She felt so guilty that she just devolved into wanting to resign before you even got to your story. The meal itself must be part of her guilt too. This wasn’t her fault. Hell, you had to take some of the blame, as you could have declined Mrs. Rich and convinced Scootaloo to not take the exam as well, or forced her not to with your horn.

So, you just shrug at her words “Eh, it’s no problem. Trust me, worst things have happened to me. Nopony could have expected the platform to collapse. Besides, if you want the truth, I had an obligation to Mrs. Rich, so I would have done it whether you tried to stop me or not.”

“Woah, Captain Spitfire! It’s totally ok! Things just kind of got nuts, that’s all. If anything, it just proves how awesome me and Anon are. Actually, that kind of makes me think.” Scootaloo looks over to you with a huge cheerful smile and a point of her hoof “Why don’t you make Anon a Junior Wonderbolt too? I mean, he can fly, so he already meets half the requirements!”

“You two, you really didn’t have to acc- Wait” Amidst her appearing tears of joy of hearing she was forgiven, she suddenly found herself confused by Scootaloo’s words as she looked to you “You can fly?”

“Oh yeah! I forgot about that! Yeah, his dad gave him these wings that let him fly for a while. I forgot though, do they still work? Or did the Storm King screw em up?” Rainbow Dash asks you as she takes a garlic stick to munch on.

“They started working after he was defeated. And yeah, I can fly with them, but I don’t think the Wonderbolts are for me. Not insulting you guys or anything but, well, I’m a being of chaos and we don’t do order too well.” An excuse to be sure, you just didn’t want to be part of a team that were as seemingly useful as Celestia and her guards. Meaning, basically useless.

“No offense taken…” Spitfire sighs with relief, still reeling herself in after nearly throwing her career away. “And sorry if I seemed a little lame just now. I know it may not look it, but one of our number one concerns is about the safety of our cadets and members. And I guess today gave me a small reminder why that is. Trust me, I take pride in making sure everything is ship shape in my team and in the academy. Without safety and rules, everypony would be at a huge risk of getting really hurt and…” Suddenly she seemed to be getting all excited, nearly flying up, but Rainbow Dash immediately calls out to her to calm down.

"Woah! Woah! Relax, Cap! Let’s not scare the foals with the whole ‘drinking from a straw’ thing, k? Can we save it for the cadets, please?” Rainbow Dash said frantically, as she even could see Spitfire was really on edge.

“O-oh” Spitfire took a moment to sit back down, and compose herself “Right… Well, to make a long story short, safety is super important. And that platform collapsing on you both is exactly why we usually have much stricter relegations than what went on today.” Spitfire takes a swig of her drink to further calm herself, before looking back at you, cool and composed “So yeah, you mentioned the Storm King screwing up your wings. I mean, if you’re uncomfortable talking about him, I understand, but I really am interested.”

“Eh, the Storm King ain’t a big deal. In fact, you could say he’s just a pimple in the grand scheme of things.” You say with a low chuckle “But I’d also rather not talk about it either. It’d uh… Ruin the legend, I think” Rather, the fact that most of it was you in a fucking cage makes you not wanna talk about it. “And if you’re interested in my wings at all. Yeah, they let me fly for a limited time. I don’t really use them like I do the horn, but they come in handy sometimes. That good enough? The explanation I mean”

“Yep, just sounds like a magical extension to me. As for the Storm King, that’s a shame, I bet it was a really killer story. Sure you’re not willing to talk about it?” Spitfire asks, seemingly really interested in your story.

Which gave you a funny idea. “I mean, sure! If you’re willing to tell me how the Wonderbolts did against him.”

Spitfire and Rainbow Dash’s face grew grim from those words. Sure, Dash was with Twilight at the time, but even she knew she couldn’t do shit to him.

“C’mon, Anon. Don’t be mean. We all know the Wonderbolts are awesome! And Rainbow Dash has helped beat bad guys even tougher than that Storm King guy. Your dad was beat by her, remember?” Scootaloo reminded you, feeling irked by your words.

“Yeah, Scootaloo is right. Helped Princess Luna too, not to mention beat Tirek’s butt! So eh, can’t win em all, I guess, but I’ve still done awesome things” Rainbow Dash said, trying to raise her ego and renown some.

“I know, I know. Was just messing around…” You say with a chuckle. That was worth seeing Rainbow and Spitfire looking all spooked like that. “Anyway, if you wanna know about the Storm King, Well…”

You explain the story in your own way, omitting some of the more embarrassing moments, and making it seem like you wanted to be caged up as to figure out the enemy and their motives. You did keep the part of you getting ass whupped by the Storm King. It wouldn’t be a realistic story without the hero taking his licks. “Really, without Tempest getting in that final hit, everything would have fallen apart. The Storm King would have shown no mercy to any of us, the guy was a serious threat that I, for one, am glad that he was defeated before he destroyed Canterlot.”

“Now that’s quite a story. Yep, I can totally see why they call you the Hero Colt and how you got that mark of yours. I gotta say, Discord did really good adopting somepony like you as a son.” Spitfire commented, impressed by the story.

You chuckle with a sharp grin “Yeah well, I’m not afraid of doing what’s needed to save the day.”

“And normally, I’d say that kind of thinking is way too dangerous for a foal like you. But then again, you’re no normal foal. You seem to always manage to get out of the worst kinds of danger imaginable. But you’re also always throwing yourself into those kinds of dangers too. I want to tell you that you should be more careful, but you always seem to come out ok. So let me tell you this, Anon, you can only push your luck so much. Sometimes, you really wanna sit down and assess the situation from every angle first. It can mean the difference between victory and.. Well, you know.” Spitfire said, hesitating to go into whatever mood Rainbow Dash prevented her from entering.

And you knew she was right. When it came to Tempest, you got lucky. You had a million ways to stomp her on your first battle with her, but you chose to try to defeat her in a spectacular fashion, which only ended in failure. Indeed, had you not met Capper afterwards, you would have been royally fucked. “I understand, thanks for the advice, Captain.”

“Eh, can’t any of you just call me Spitfire right now? Not like we’re doing anything official,” Spitfire said, half grinning, and half groaning. “Hey, Dash, good work on training Anon. And Scootaloo, good job on that course. I know I complimented you already, but the fact you didn’t take any training at all from Dash really shows how skilled you really are. And Anon?” She raises her mug and nods towards you “You are one cool colt. Wouldn’t mind workin’ with you if anything big happens.”

You actually took that as quite the honor. Spitfire really respected you, as she should, considering how skilled you have become. And all those compliments to Scoots, Hah! You knew, you just knew, she’d probably be captain of the Wonderbolts herself one day.

Conversations went normal after that. Rainbow Dash cracking a few jokes, Spitfire loosening up about her own guilt and telling some stories about the Wonderbolts and their going ons, Scootaloo just about forgotten about Chrysalis as she enjoyed every moment. You? For a while you were actually into it too, talking about your sweet moves and magical prowess.

Even when dinner was over, moods stayed rather high. There was still some spaghetti in the bowl, but you all had your fill. Spitfire was the first to go, said she had stuff to do. She did give Scootaloo a hug though, something that made Scootaloo especially happy. You? You could still tell that some of today bothered her, she really did hate how it all went down, and how she essentially let it happen. Poor gal.

You looked at your empty soda cup for a moment, and rubbed your tummy. You were full, and for the moment, brimming of happiness and hope. It actually felt pretty good being around these three, well, these two now, since Scoots and Dash were still around. “So, what are we gonna do with the food?”

“No idea. Rainbow Dash, are you gonna take all this spaghetti home?” Scootaloo asked

“Nah, probably just leave a sign so one of the janitors know they got a delicious dinner waiting.” She answered as she stood and took a stretch

Janitors? “This place is gonna get cleaned up? As in, not demolished?”

Rainbow Dash nodded “Yep, Mrs. Rich already had this place ready to be donated to the town for… I dunno what it’s gonna be converted into myself. But it better not be as shoddy as that platform if nopony wants any trouble.”

“Yeah! Same here! There’s gonna be trouble if it’s gonna be like that! Or my name isn’t Junior Wonderbolt Scootaloo!” Scootaloo hopped up, standing heroically for… no reason.

“Oh, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Erm…” You were feeling kind of antsy now. You wanted to go home, talk to Discord really quick, and then see if that weird Dracula guy was near the town hall. “Actually, I kinda have to get going. I kind of got stuff to do, but it was really cool hanging with you guys! And erm… Scootaloo, Erm…” You almost blurted out the reminder to her to check with Scrappy on Chrysalis’s going ons.

She just nods to you with a smile “It’s cool, I’ll remember, but if you don’t mind, this Junior Wonderbolt wants to finish up with the greatest hero that’s ever been a hero ever!”

“Well…” Rainbow Dash chuckles as she looks at her bottle of cider, it only had a quarter of sweet delicious goodness left “I don’t mind hanging around for a little while longer.”

“Alrighty then, take care you two, and thanks Rainbow Dash, really… for all your training and help.” And with that, you tilted the ice bucket over to spill it’s now mostly melted ice cubes, creating a large puddle in the carpet. You put on your horn, with it’s new found abilities, and dive into the puddle… And crash your head on the floor. "AGH! UGH!” Dammit! What the fuck?!

“A-Anon! W-what are you doing?! You’re supposed to use your map, remember?” Scootaloo said in shock, though you could hear a small chuckle from Rainbow Dash.

You got up and rubbed your head, annoyed with yourself. “N-not anymore, Dad said I could use the… Oh no… Right…” You point the still Sombra formed horn at the puddle, and shoot a small bolt of magic, creating a portal to your room.

“You can use chaos magic whenever now?” Scootaloo asked, once again confused and curious to the abilities of your upgraded horn.

“Nah, Dad just gave it a few upgrades. I can’t use chaos magic, since it’s still in its normal form, but I can do light stuff like this. A-anyway, gotta go!” And with that, you slip through the portal, still annoyed that you somehow fucked that up.

When you fell through the portal you generated, you expected yourself to fall into your room as usual. Instead, you fall face first onto the living room floor. How and why? You had no idea. But you weren’t even angry about it either, just par for the course and most likely Discord’s doing. When you cleared your head with a shake and looked up, you found your internal guess correct as you saw Discord humming to himself as he worked on chiseling a… Very accurate looking statue of Twilight.

“Ngh, hey Discord. What are you up to? Also, can we not have me landing on my face all the time? Or at least use a pillow or something?” You say to him as you draw near the statue. Aside from it’s grey color, it looked remarkably like Twilight. Only thing missing was a face. Why was he making a Twilight statue anyway?

“Ahh, Anon!” Discord looked to you with a smile as his arms detached from his body to continue their work. Discord himself walked over to you, and then passed you to grab an oily looking drink...somehow. He then floated above the sofa. “Good to see you! You’re a little early, I admit, but I’m happy just the same. As you can see, I’m in the middle of my greatest project yet! Even more so…” Discord takes a sip, then looks back at the statue with pride “I plan to donate this to our dear princess once it’s done. It will be the centerpiece of her school, isn’t that amazing?”

Wut? “You’re going to donate Twilight a statue of herself? You ok, Discord? This doesn’t seem like you at all”

“What? Anon, come on. Despite how I may act, Twilight is a dear friend of mine. Besides…” As Discord speaks, his arms quickly chisel a face upon the statue. Not only does it cause the stone mane to suddenly fly up like it was hit with lightning, but the statue itself had an expression of pure horror. “I managed to capture the perfect moment during your exam! Look at her, Anon. Never has Twilight ever seemed so lively before. Dramatic, beautiful, full of life, and oh so powerful through the seriousness of her eyes. My best work for sure, but hmmm.” Discord looks at the statue as if it was suddenly not good enough “What do you think?”

Hilarious, but you already knew Twilight would never accept it. “Amazing, but c’mon man, you know Twilight won’t accept it. She doesn’t have a good sense of humor, remember?”

“Hmmmm…” Discord moaned near silently as his arms flew back to his body to allow him to visually ponder “True, Twilight wouldn’t know fun, even if it burned up all her books. At least you appreciate it. That somewhat matters to me, but…” Discord then turns to face his statue “What to do with it then?”

You walk over to the statue and look at it’s ass. Mhmmm, very detailed, very good. You give it’s roundness a gentle rub of your hoof “Maybe you could give it to me, maybe add in something for me to put my di-”

“Anon! How shameful!” Discord waggled his paw digit at you “This statue is only a few minutes old! The age difference alone would have ponies talking!”

You raise an eyebrow at him “I was just kidding… Mostly. Look, why are you even wondering what to do with it? Just drop it off at the school anyway when a ton of ponies are inside. Bam! You embarrass Twilight and get your win. C’mon Discord, even you should have thought of that.”

“I had thought of it, but considering dear Fluttershy is going to be a professor at the school, I’d rather not just drop this all on her all at once. If Twilight accepted the statue, it’d be her fault. But alas, it seems I can’t have my way this time.” Discord sighs as he snaps his talons, making the statue vanish.

What? He gave up just like that? “So that’s it then? Not like you to give up that easily.”

“Me? Give up? Oh no no no no, I didn’t give up. See, Fluttershy had been teaching me about something called compromise. And so, I decided to compromise the perfectness of my plan with Twilight’s delightful shock of everypony’s reaction to the statue.” Discord explains in a way that sounded like he himself was giving a lecture.

Uhhhh… “And what does that mean?”

“It means I had to settle for less. I placed the statue right before her bedroom door, inside the bedroom itself. Not only will she be spooked upon opening it, but the statue will then say…” Discord tapped his neck to make himself sound like Twilight “Hi! I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle! And this is the face I make when I wet the bed! Which I do a lot!”

You let out a snort of mirth. Ok, that’s fucking funny. “Ok ok, that’s good stuff. Hehehe. But what good is that if you aren’t going to… Oh never mind.” You stop your words when Discord holds up a small screen, showing a close up of large double doors. You could already tell the head of the statue had a camera inside. “You better let me see that tape when you get it, alright?”

“Certainly, I’ll have it set for personal viewing in your room when it’s available. Now then, to other business. Namely, getting into your business.” Discord says with a childish smile, batting his eyes at you “Whatcha up to, sonny boy?”

“Gonna meet up with some guy I suspect is gonna try to bite my neck.” You say as you actually give your neck a rub.

“Sounds boring. Anything else? What about setting up that sleepover thing with your marefriend? I have everything prepped for that one, you know? A separate room, two beds in which I’m sure one will go unused, two thrones for use… One being my old one. Yes, I know, it does look a little on the evil side, but it’s served me well and I think it’s high time to pass it down to you. Even got this lovely set of crowns for the both of you…” He opens his paw, revealing two very beautiful golden crowns, shimmering with gems.

“Ugh, please no. We already did the whole royal motif at her place. I’m just gonna keep it nice and simple. Hell, maybe show her what chaos is all about in light doses. That’s alright, right? I mean, if we are gonna get married, she’s going to have to get used to it.” This you were sure of. Every day of your life always had something ridiculous in store for you, so it’d make sense to give her a taste of it in some way.

“I’m not even going to say that’s a bad idea. I’m just going to warn you not to have her open that window, you know the one.” Discord’s eyes form into one ghoulish peeper as his teeth sharpen up.

“I’ll make sure, but I at least want her to meet them. I dunno, seems right to get her used to that now rather than later. Or maybe I’m just being an idiot about that.” Doesn’t seem like a bad idea, anyway.

Discord shrugs “Seems fine to me. Is there anything else?”

Well, there was Chrysalis. But Discord, as far as you knew, didn’t want to deal with her anymore, and considered her an actual poison to your own friendship with him. You’ll keep that detail to yourself. “Nope”

“Well then” Discord tosses you a small golden box that looked really wondrous and intricate in design, with beautifully ingrained alicorns facing each other on the box. “Allow me to present you with this, for a job well done!”

“You mean passing the exam?” You say as you catch the box. You give it’s cover a look over, cautiously, worried it might be rigged with a trap. “What is this? The pony’s equivalent of Pandora’s Box?”

“More like a box of chocolates” Discord retorts

Box of chocolates, huh? Well, if you’re careful, you should be able to avoid whatever trap might be inside. You set the box down, carefully put your hoof on the lid, and open it up as you jump back. Nothing happens however, and as you look down... “Oh… It’s a box of chocolates.”

“That’s what I said, didn’t I?” Discord said with a huff “What did you expect, a bomb?”

“Sorta…” You tap at the chocolates, pick one up, sniff it, then pop it in your mouth. Oh shit, this tasted… “Discord… Holy shit, this is some of the best chocolate I’ve ever had! Did you make this?!”

“No, I stole it from Celestia’s secret stash. She’ll never realize it was me either, considering I don’t plan to use it in anything chaotic. Which, that within itself, is chaotic.” Discord snickered

“Nice” You say as you close the box, saving the rest for later. Even if you and Celestia were at an understanding, you didn’t mind having her delicious box of chocolates. “I’m gonna take these up to my room, then go see if that guy I’m supposed to meet is there. Thanks Discord, really. These are really good.”

“No problem, Anon, as long as you don’t mind me pilfering them from our dear Princess Celestia. Which, as I can see, you don’t. As for me, I’m going to watch the monitor for a little bit. She has to open that door sometime.” Discord gives you a wink before he disappears.

What a guy. Already trying to make your sleepover more comfy and giving you chocolates for a job well done. You smile at these thoughts as you make your way up to your room. When you get inside, you toss the box onto your dresser and look at you clock. It was only 8 P.M. at this point, but you were sure that his definition of evening slightly differed from yours, so he was probably already there. Or maybe he did mention a time? Bah, you couldn’t remember.

You set your portal door to Ponyville’s town hall, and hop inside in search of Chancellor Neighsay.

“Alright, time to sWHAAAA?!” When you appear on the other side of the portal, you arrive in Ponyville as expected, but everything was in negative space and unmoving, as if there was a time freeze. “W-what happened?! Where am I?!”

“You’re in my personal thinking space, Anon” Said a voice “Don’t be alarmed, it is merely a realm between realms. Similar to the kind of spell that would let you explore inside a book.”

That voice? Was it the Chancellor? “Yeah well, I’m sort of used to seeing this kind of stuff from my Dad. How are you doing this, anyway?”

Suddenly, slowly appearing as if he was a spirit going into physical form, Chancellor Neighsay stood in front of you, with a smile that was less than calming. His horn was alit, obviously maintaining whatever space this was. “With magic only those as skilled as I can muster. But I’m sure somepony of your caliber is capable of something like this as well.”

You were sure of that actually. Still, you now felt really tense knowing you were on this guy’s literal playing field. “Yeah… Look, I came because you had something to say. But I didn’t agree to this, why are we even in here?”

“Privacy.” Chancellor Neighsay says as he conjures a small table onto the negative grass, with two seats, and two cups of tea on plates. Even had a tea kettle set up as he filled both cups, all through the use of magic. He takes a seat, lifts his cup, and takes a sip. “Ahh, always soothing to the soul, wouldn’t you say?”

What… The… Fuck? Was he ACTUALLY going to rape you?! This guy was creepier than, uh, well, now was no time for comparisons. You remained calm, sat at the other seat, and took a sip of your cup. “Yeah… So, erm, can we get down to business then? Chancellor?” Because, fuck, you felt uncomfortable with how sudden this fucking was.

“Straight to the point. Good, as there’s no use in wasting time. Tell me, Anon, how do you feel about the dragons? Especially considering what happened yesterday. I hear it’ll be some time before the bowling alley is rebuilt.” The Chancellor asked you, very interested in what your answer might be.

Well, that’s an odd question to ask. “Uh, I… What? I mean, why ask me that? What does that have to do with anything?”

“It has to do with everything.” Neighsay said, with a hint of hatred in his voice. “Anon, you needn’t feel the need to reserve yourself or tell me the answer you think I wish to hear. I’ll be honest with you, if you’ll be honest with me. Now, please answer the question”

This really was weirding you out. Maybe you should have stuck with the pleasantries instead of going straight to business. Because this guy not only was creepy, but seemed very no nonsense. “Well, if you want honesty. I’m friends with one dragon, but I’m not a big fan of the others. I don’t mean to sound rude, but they all seem like jerks to me. I heard their new princess is nice, but I never met her. That’s not a problem, is it?”

“Not at all” Neighsay said with a calmed chuckle “Indeed, dragons have been the enemies of us ponies for a very very long time. I cannot blame you for how you feel about them. Personally, I agree, and feel they should stay in their own lands where they belong. Although, I suppose Twilight’s assistant is… Tolerable”

Tolerable? What the fuck was up with that guy that he had to make a nasty comment? Ok, granted dragons are jerks and you wouldn’t mind not dealing with them at all. But Spike was pretty damn cool. The hell was this guy getting at? “Yeah… Erm, is this about dragons then? Are they causing more trouble?”

“More than you know. And not only them, but changelings are as well. I happen to know you have had to deal with them before. I’ve even heard rumors that you’re not fond of them, despite your involvement in their ‘reformation’. Is that true?” He asks you

Dragons, and changelings? Were they causing trouble? Even then, why would some head of some education board care about all that? “I… Don’t really care for them, per se. Glad they reformed and all, but they’re a little too dainty for my taste.”

“Hmmm, dainty you say?” He said as he looked at you with a serious stare, drinking his tea as he did so “And yet, we have no idea what they are actually doing or planning. The same also goes for beings like the griffons, who are suddenly much more accepted despite the fact that’d they’d sell their own kin for a bag of bits. And then there are the Yaks, who would start a war with any country, including Equestria itself, over something minor. And the Hippogriffs? Well, we have yet to see where they stand…”

Uhhhhhhh… Ok. He was, kind of right, in a creepy and evil sort of way. Yaks did seem like dicks, and Griffons, as far as you knew, were actual fucking assholes. But this guy’s hate was unreal, what was his problem? And why did it involve you? “Ok, for the kinda most part, I can agree. But, Chancellor, I don’t mean to insult you or anything. But what does this have to do with anything? What does this have to do with me?”

“Because, you are the ‘Hero Colt’! And not just in name either. While Princess Twilight’s feats are in fact, impressive, I’d have to say that you easily match her skills, despite your age. And you have experience dealing with undesirables and criminals, even dealing with the notorious criminal, Sharpclaw. You, I believe, understand how dangerous these outsiders can be, and that is why I need your help.” Neighsay says as he taps his hoof on the table, some desperation in his eyes and voice.

Sharpclaw? Oh, right. That fucking guy who was robbing Flim and Flam, from way back. It’s true, you have dealt with many creatures that have been less than pleasant to know. But why did it matter to him? Why did he need your help? Just keep playing it up, Anon. Figure out what he wants. “Well, I’m honored that you’d seek my help, Chancellor. But, ummmm, why do you need my help exactly? What does it have to do with all these races?” You kept yourself from asking WHY he hated them, as you felt that may have been a bad trigger of sorts.

The Chancellor sighed as he held his cup. He looked depressed and defeated all of a sudden, as his voice became softer and pathetic. “To be honest, Anon. My unscheduled visit with the Princess today was met with her usual misplaced optimism. Even worse, I had run into Princess Celestia, who shares her pupil’s sentiments. I had a vision, a vision that if I ended up not accrediting the school, and even locking it up, that I would be met with opposition that I’d not be able to contain. I realize just trying to make sure the school is never opened is not the way to go. Equestria’s very survival is now at stake due to her allowing ANYCREATURE to attend her school. Anycreature, that if they choose, can make off with important secrets and artifacts to bring back to their own race. This would spell the end for all of us, Anon. I cannot allow Equestria to fall because our ‘dear’ princess has a naive outlook on friendship. I know, for a fact, that you too have issues with her. So…” Neighsay gets off his seat, and bows to you “Please, I beg of your help. You are the only one I know of who has a desire to protect Equestria through any means necessary. The only one who is capable of mingling with these creatures without arousing suspicion.”

W-what?! Geez! This guy! Ok, so let’s recap this in your brain. He seems to hate anything not a pony, and has this idea that you think the same way he does. He does acknowledge your magnificence, so that’s good. But it also seems he wanted you to be some sort of lackey, or spy, or something. Was Equestria really in danger? Was there something he knew that no one else did? What did he even expect you to do? “W-well, I guess it depends on what it is. Considering your status, I’m not just gonna snub you out. But uh, you’re gonna have to give me some details and stuff.”

Neighsay took a moment to compose himself, and then took a sip of his tea. “It’s simple. I want you to enroll in Twilight’s school, if you haven’t already done so, and keep an eye on her non-pony students. I can feel it, some kind of trouble that could only come from them. I’d leave this all to you of course, at your own discretion. The only thing I ask is that I am not mentioned within your investigation, and that you send word to me once you have gathered sufficient evidence of their wrongdoing.”

Ok, once again, he was jumping ahead of himself. Or he assumed you were on the same page as him. And enroll in that fucking school?! Nope, no chance of that happening. “What do you mean keep an eye on them? And enroll in her school? Sorry to say, but I’d really rather not have to deal with it. Personally speaking, I think it’s stupid.”

Neighsay nodded in agreement “I can understand your feelings on it. But please reconsider, or at least think about it. As for the details of what I want you to do. Her school will play host to many creatures, such as dragons, yaks, griffons, and anything else SHE deems worthy. I refuse to believe that they, especially our 'former' enemies, are going to that school just to learn about friendship. I know you share my feelings on this, it’s why you must be the one to keep an eye on things. It’s for the good of Equestria.”

Was this guy for real? Wait! Maybe he was for real. Twilight’s school is a pretty fucking big deal, no doubt, considering how respected this guy must be, that there is some weight to his words. Sure, he himself may end up being the season ender villain, if this was in fact a season of sorts. But if he isn’t, then he could be right. Still, you really would have to think about it, you really didn’t want to become Twilight’s student. “Like I said, I’ll think about it. But, uhhh, I can understand your fears. Especially when it comes to dragons. Considering, y’know, yesterday.”

“Indeed…” Neighsay sighed, feeling your answer less than adequate. Surprisingly, he did respect it, as he looked to you once again. “Then may I ask you to make a visit to the changeling hive tomorrow? They are the creatures I’m most worried about at the moment. You needn’t do much, just see if they are up to something. I’d even like you to see what student they plan to send to the school, see what they are all about. If you find anything, I ask you to send me a letter immediately. If not, then do not bother, as your silence will tell me you hadn’t discovered anything… yet. Are you able to do at least that for me? I will trust your answer if you say yes, and will even see about making sure your future choices in education, for you and your marefriend, are guaranteed.”

You thought that was already guaranteed. Either way, that didn’t sound too hard, and was way easier than signing up for Twilight’s school. You could say yes, go deal with the pussies, talk to whatever student they chose, and you wouldn’t even have to write anything because you already knew they were too wimpy to try anything due to Thorax being a nancy boy. You could just say yes and not bother, but you wanted to make sure no one could say you didn’t try. Haha! This guy, you had this in the bag. He was probably right though, just not about the changelings. If there was gonna be trouble, you could keep an eye out regardless, but you would also have to keep tabs on him as well, just in case. Hmmm, maybe this was more serious than you realized. Best to take it in small steps. Maybe it was nothing, and he was just being a worrywart. Either way, at least it was easy to secure your future in academics. “Ok, I can at least do that no problem. The changelings trust me, so it’ll be easy to go have a look see. I’m pretty thorough, and my magic will make sure I don’t miss anything. But I have your word, that if I do this, and no matter how it ends, I’ll have your recommendation for me and Diamond?”

He nods. “Yes, you helping is already enough to help settle my mind, as many others somehow think the Princesses’ way of thinking is the best way. Mnnnn, and I’m glad you came to a decision as well, as my hold on this realm is just about over” He says as the negative coloring of the area reverts to the Ponyville you knew. Neighsay remained calm as his spell ended, and zapped away the table,chairs, and tea set “Well then, it appears our business is over as well.”

“Yeah, it appears it is.” You looked up, it was night now at this point, you could see the stars “If I find anything, I’ll let you know. But don’t get your hopes up, ok? I somehow doubt they are up to something.”

“That way of thinking is what will be our downfall. I know you are smarter than that, Anon, and I trust you will be thorough in your investigation.” Somehow, he opens up a portal of his own, then looks back at you. This guy, he really was a powerful unicorn. Definitely a guy you didn’t want to get on their bad side. “I have your word, correct?”

Just to be polite, you do a bow “You do, as long as I have yours.”

“As I said, if you are honest with me, then I’ll be honest with you. It’s been an honor to meet you, Anon. While not completely like minded as myself, it is good to know there are foals out there who do not blindly follow the naivete of our princesses’ single minded views. Farewell, until we meet again.” He nods to you, then steps inside his portal as it vanishes out of sight.

You just blinked and stood there, confused. “Ok then… At least he didn’t rape me”

You started to ponder as you made your way to the Rich mansion. Was that guy for real? Did he believe in you that much? Where did he hear those rumors? Was he right? Were all or some of the other races plotting something? Obviously not all of them, but some of their higher ups? Thorax wasn’t capable of shit, you knew that much. But what about his brother? You hadn’t met Pharynx, but he didn’t sound like too good a guy, even if he was turned good at some point.

Well, you’d find out tomorrow for sure. If there was some plotting going on, you and your horn could figure it out. Hell, maybe it wasn’t even the hive. Maybe he was referring to Chrysalis. But then, what of the other races? Chrysalis wasn’t the type to do a team up with someone she didn’t trust, so perhaps it wasn’t her either… But then, during the exam…

You arrived at the mansion mid thought, and looked upon it’s beautiful construct. The pillars, the glamourous front door, the well kept front yard. And inside? Your precious Diamond, waiting for you. You put aside your thoughts as you brush your mane back, head towards the door, and knock. “Hello? Is anypony there? It’s me, Anon!”

Oddly enough, the door opens not soon after you knock, as if someone was waiting for you.

“Mr. Anon, I’ve been waiting for you.” Said the voice of Mr. Rich, as he opened the door, stepped forward, and closed it gently with his hind leg. “But where are my manners? how are you, son?”

Wut? “Mr. Rich? Ummm, I’m doing alright. How are you? And erm…” This was kind of awkward, why was he waiting for you? “What’s up?”

“Doin’ alright, just a bit on the worried side of things. Considerin’ what happened today and all.” He said as he sat in front of you, and gently placed his right hoof on your head, giving it a very slow and gentle rub.

“Oh, you mean the exam? Yeah, but… Why are you worried? I alre-” But he interrupts you as he stops the motions of his hoof without removing it from your head.

“The missus already let me know what really went on, Anon. Can’t say I’m too pleased about it. Even nearly lost my cool…” He goes back to gently rubbing your head “Putting the lives of two foals in danger like that, that ain’t the Rich way at all.” His tone was grim, yet sorrowful. W-was he ok?

You frowned as you looked up at him. Did he get mad at his wife? Him? The ever cool Mr. Rich? Mnnngh, ok, maybe what she did was worth getting mad about in terms of his perspective and reputation, but…

You look up at him with big worried eyes as your adorable ears folded down “You’re not mad at her, are you? I know what she did was not very well thought out, and could have ended a lot worse. But, I’m not mad at her. I mean, as it turned out, I wasn’t in any real danger anyway. My Dad’s gear protected me.”

“And what about little ole Scootaloo?” Mr. Rich asked, seemingly suppressing his frustration in a way that while still seeming pleasant, there were hints of actual anger in his voice.

“Yeah… She didn’t get that. But…” Dammit, fine! Fuck! Ok! So it really was a shit situation, one you knew would make the headlines back in your world. Maybe Mrs. Rich deserved all she got from him… Whatever he did, but everything came out ok, and everyone got something out of it, even Scoots! She’s a Junior Wonderbolt now! Not sure what that entails exactly, but she’s proud of it.

“And what would have happened if she didn’t make it? Anon, I know you ain’t no fool, and I don’t want to lose my cool. But c’mon, son, yer smarter than this and…” Mr. Rich suddenly stopped, sat, and put his hoofs to his face as he shook it “And I’m to blame too, ain’t I? Got all sorts of mad, and I didn’t even take a look at myself. Could have told her no, could have had it stopped, but nope. I let it happen all the same. I’m a terrible pony, ain’t I, son?” Mr. Rich started to sob as he suddenly realized he was just to blame as everyone else. Really, everyone let it happen, from You to Twilight herself. Though, some were more in the know than others.

Poor guy, he just wanted everything to be fine and ok. He probably lost his cool because of what Mrs. Rich told him, not even realizing the full spectrum of what really happened. And now that he has, you felt pretty bad for him, he didn’t know that platform would collapse, and neither did you. “Mr. Rich, c’mon, it ain’t your fault. Nopony knew how dangerous it really was, and we all went into it thinking it’d be ok.” You sit next to him, and gently lean against his side “Mrs. Rich just got in over her head, which sort of caused this domino effect. In fact, you could say it’s like how business works. You can’t make a profit without some risk, right? Well, we all put in the risk, and walked our richer for it. Nopony got hurt, everypony is ok, and I’m sure Mrs. Rich learned her lesson, right? I mean, she looked pretty sad about it, right?”

“Well… She did look rather glum… And, I gotta tell ya, It don’t sit well knowin’ she’s a hurtin’. Really, knowin’ we all got some sort of lesson to learn makes me realize that maybe I should go back in there and sort things out.” Mr. Rich clears the tears from his eyes, and looks to you with a gentle smile “You’re a smart one, Anon, my boy. Thought this was gonna be a big long talk and lots of sortin’ out. But it hasn’t been ten minutes and you already got it all figured out.”

You look back to him with a smile and shrug of your own. “Well, y’know. It just seemed logical to me. Not every situation needs to be a long and drawn out mess, right?”

“Yer right about that.” Mr. Rich said as he reaches into his shirt. “Anon, I’m gonna give ya somethin’. Somethin’ I’ve kept with me since I earned it.”

Since he earned it? “What is it?”

And that when he pulls it out, a shiny but old looking bit. “My first bit, of course. Kept it with me all this time, to remind of when I took over the family business and started earning my keep. Well, right now, you managed to squash this whole messy situation faster than, And I do dare say it, our Princess of Friendship. For that, you earned it.” He places the bit on the frog of your hoof, then gently puts his hoof on your head as he sniffles and tears up “My son.”

Shit, really? All this over somehow solving the problem so fast? And his first bit?! You didn’t even know he had a Scrooge McDuck styled heirloom he carried around. You probably shouldn’t accept it, but you knew it’d make him happy if you did, and that is what’s important, making him happy. “Thank you, Dad, I’ll cherish it always. In fact, check this out” You take the bit, and open up your saddlebag. You then pop it inside for safekeeping. “There we go, safe and sound.”

“Er… Ain’tcha got a near limitless supply of bits in there, son?” Mr. Rich asked, as he stoically blinked, a little baffled by what you did.

SHIT! “U-uhmm! Erm..!” You quickly open the bag, and look inside. SHIT! “Mr. Rich, I-I’m... I didn’t… I… Huh?” You are stopped when Mr. Rich reaches into your bag, takes out a bit, quickly inspects it, and pockets it. Wut? “Is that…?”

“The bit? Yes indeedy. No harm done, Anon. I’ve been handling money for years now, and it ain’t too hard to tell the difference from one bit to another. But I think I’ll hold on to it for a little while, at least til you got a better place to put it.” Mr. Rich said with a soft chuckle. He could tell you were impressed, and played it up a little by being rather modest.

Just… Woah. You were speechless. How the fuck?!

“Wellll” Mr. Rich took a stretch as he gave you a head pat “Gonna go talk to the missus now, get things straightened out and such. Thanks again, Anon, yer a real hero, and don’t let nopony tell you different.” Mr. Rich says, feeling his emotions revigored enough to have a proper talk with his wife.

“Y-yeah. You take care Mr. Rich, and erm, tell Diamond I said hi, ok?”

“Sure will” He said with a wink “You take care, son”

You had returned home after meeting with Mr. Rich, not wanting to spend the night on anything else. You had to plan out your day accordingly, as you had a lot more to do than you initially realized. You have to get up, go see Scootaloo, go to the hive and check on the changelings, and then to add to all that, you had to see Diamond. And you realized you should see Bonbon. Why did you have to see Bonbon? Because she probably may have some insight on whatever the fuck that Neighsay guy was going on about. You didn’t know if she’d have any information, but if she did, you had to know so you could act accordingly. You’re the hero colt after all, so if you could squash the problem yourself, then you should make doing that a priority.

You had the day in the bag, it shouldn’t be too hard to pull off if you don’t fall off track.

When you woke up, you gave your head a gentle rub as you yawned. No distractions, just focus and get it over with and… Oh hey! There’s a couple of tickets floating over your bed for some reason, and a note. Might as well see what that’s all about. “Ok Discord, what’s all this then?” You say to yourself as you lean up and grab the note to take a closer look see. “Lesse, hmmm…”. It was an invitational letter to the ‘Basement Theater’ for a screening of Twilight’s surprise. Oh shit! The madman actually did it! Well then, hmmmm. It seemed the premiere is tonight… And to bring a friend? He wants you to bring someone over? Diamond? No, Diamond wouldn’t appreciate seeing Twilight being shocked, especially if it was worthy of being this grand. Ah! But Starlight might get a kick out of it! And she’s been in the house before, so no problems there. You wondered if Discord wouldn’t mind Trix… Oh, suddenly a third ticket? Heh, looks like Trixie is coming too. Seems dear old Dad was giving you ample time to set up a group to watch Twilight’s… Whatever. Man, it has to be good to be this elaborate. Alrighty then…

You slip the tickets into your saddle bag as you get off your bed for a stretch. “Ok, let’s see, should still be set for Ponyville… sooooo.” You go over to your portal door, swing it open, and step through. But when you do, you end up tripping over something… or someone. You land directly, face first, into the grass. Well, at least the ground was soft.

“Owie! Owie! Ogh…” You hear behind you, the adorable whines of some unknown filly. You get up, shake your head to remove the loose grass and dirt, and turn around. Behind you, rubbing her right foreleg, was a small and adorable pegasus filly. She was pale pink in color, with brownish eyes, and a poofy mane, curled into circles every which way and topped off with a cute little yellow bow. Her cutie mark, oddly enough, was a red rook… Like chess? Poor thing, you didn’t mean to hurt her. You didn’t even see her.

“OH shi-, I mean, you alright?” You ask, before making any physical movements.

“Mhmm, I’m ok mister… Oh.” When the filly turns to you, her eyes light up as her mouth forms a rather lively grin. She then puts her hooves to her cheeks in surprise as she stammers “A-are you, Anon? W-wowie! I didn’t expect to run into a hero today! Or…” She lets out an adorable little giggle “really, him running into little tiny me.”

D’awwww! You've never seen this pony before, but you could already tell she was super cute and innocent, and she seemed rather happy just to be in your presence. A fan maybe? Well, maybe you could hang around a little and brighten up her day. “Y-yeah! Haha! Sorry about that, erm…”

“Oh!” The filly gasped in surprise “You actually wanna know my name?”

Geez, was she that starstruck? Well, it’s super cute, that’s for sure. unlike the dumb duo. “Mhmm” You reach over and give her a boop on the nose, causing her to let out a cute squeaky giggle. “I always want to know the names of all the good little ponies I meet.”

“Oh gosh!” She blushed, grabbing her cheeks and swaying her head about “You’re so sweet. Ummm… Oh!” She lets out another giggle, and gives you a sunny smile “My name is Cozy Glow! It’s very very nice to meet you, Anon. I feel so very honored that’d you’d speak to me so suddenly. Erm…” She looks down, and gently kicks her hoof at the dirt, feeling shy about your presence “I hope I’m not bothering you.”

Your heart! Aww! This poor little thing. Ok, Anon, relax. Just really, make sure she has a nice and shiny day. “Oh no no, always nice to meet a fan. I assume you saw the exam yesterday? Pretty cooooool, right?”

“Mhmm!” She nodded “It was so amazing! And looked so dangerous! How ever did you manage to get out of it ok?” She asked, looking absolutely enthralled.

“Oh, you know.” You snickered as you stood tall and arrogant “I’m just good like that.”

And she buys it! Oh man, she’s just too cute. “Gee whiz! It was all scary and stuff and you don’t look like it worried you at all. But I guess that’s why you’re the hero, huh?”

You give her a gentle pat on the head, in which she actually nuzzles under your hoof for the affection. D’AAWWWW! “That’s right! Though anypony can be a hero. Even you” You give her another boop “Being a hero isn’t just about beating baddies, but just being there for your friends and stuff. That makes you a hero in their eyes, and it’s just as important.”

“Golly, that’s really inspiring! In fact, that’s why I’m enrolled in Princess Twilight’s school! So I can learn all about FRIENDSHIP!” She says that last word rather darkly, and you could have sworn her eyes went red there for a moment. But you are just still waking up, so probably just a trick of mind. With all the possible dangers going on, it’s no wonder you’d think such a thing. “Oh! Anon, are you enrolled too? Oh! Do you think we’re going to be classmates? I’d think that’d be really nice. You seem so smart about friendship, I’d love to be your study buddy!”

Ogh… Here we go. Poor thing, you didn’t want to disappoint her, but… “Cozy, erm. I’m not going to the school, I kinda already know everything there is to know about friendship. At least, in my eyes. Princess Twilight’s way is… erm… just not the way I do things.”

“What?!” She seemed utterly surprised, to the point that her adorable tone broke into one that sounded like frustration. Then she just kind of froze there for a moment before she giggled, hovered upwards, and tapped on her forehead. “Oh! I get it! Oh boy, I sure do feel like a wittle dumb dumb not realizing just how great you really are. Of course you’d know everything about friendship already. You helped that pony that was working for that mean ole Storm King, right?”

Oh, so she knows about that? Heh, well given that Neighsay had heard things about you, it shouldn’t be of any surprise. “Yeah, even helped another pony named Starlight. I’m pretty good at things like that. I mean, anypony can be good at making good friends and even helping those who initially seem bad. Even you, Cozy Glow. You want to learn about friendship, but I think you’re pretty friendly already. You must have lots of friends!”

“Erm…” She suddenly floats down to the ground, looking pathetic and depressed. “Actually, I’m not really good at friendship at all. I don’t really have any friends…”

She has no friends? This adorable little thing? WHAT?! Well, you hope Diamond doesn’t get jealous, because this little filly needed your help! HERO COLT POWERS, ACTIVATE! “Well, that’s just not true” You tell her with a soft smile.

When she looks up at you, she has tears in her eyes as she lets out a small sniffle “W-what do you mean?”

“I mean, you have a friend right here! Because, well…” You move in and give her a gentle hug “I’ll be your friend! I’m not always around too much, but when I am, and you see me, I’ll always be willing to talk. And heck, I have other friends you could meet in case you get lonely, and they can be your friends too. Doesn’t that sound awesome?”

“W-wow…” She says, utterly stunned “Y-you’d be my friend? Weeeeaaalllyyy?” She says, her smile returning as she adorably holds her cheeks again.

“Yep! I mean, I’m kinda busy right now, but I’d like to meet up later at some point. I go to Cheerilee’s school, so, y’know, you know where to find me.” Actually, that was really odd, you have never seen this filly before. Maybe she’s from out of town? Twilight’s school was nearly built, and there has been a lot more ponies in Ponyville lately. So, yeah, that could be it.

“Ok! But I thought of an even better idea! It makes me so excited to even think it!” She starts hopping left and right, trying to contain whatever grand thought she had in her head.

A thought? Well, if she was that excited to think it, might as well hear her out. “What’s that?”

She hops up onto the fountain and point towards the direction of the school “Well!” She starts to hover as she speaks, looking directly at you “Since you’re so super knowing about friendship! Why don’t you become a professor? I’d weally love learning about friendship from you. I bet you know things Princess Twilight and her friends don’t at all.” She lands, then shakes her head left and right disapprovingly “Mmm mmm, no sireee. Nopony has what you have, and I’d love to be your first student… erm…” She giggles shyly, blushing “If you’d have me.”

This adorable pony, she’s so… Well meaning. Fuck, and those words. Her belief in you. You just met her and it’s like she put her entire soul into you just now. You, a professor of friendship? Professor Anon, has a nice ring to it actually. It really put you in deep thought too. Despite you telling Twilight her school was pretty dumb, this actually might be something you’d want to try. It’d let you keep an eye out for whatever the fuck is scaring that Neighsay guy, possibly get you out of Cheerilee’s school, and let you actually show other ponies how to do friendship right, the human way. But most of all, you could show Twilight what you’re truly capable of in the art of friendship. Hmmm… You’ll need to see if she’ll even accept you though. She should, you’ve done enough to prove you’re capable. “You know what, Cozy Glow? That really isn’t a bad idea. I do happen to know a lot about friendship, I’m sure I could convince Princess Twilight to let me become a professor at her school. Heh, I’d probably be the youngest professor in Equestria too.” You chuckle as you give it some thought. Eat that, Starswirl!

“Ooooh! That might very well be true! I’d really like that, you being a professor I mean. Do you really think you can become one?” She asks, intent on hearing your answer.

You probably could, especially if you had Spike backing you up. You both were bros at this point. Top that with what you have done for Equestria and it’d be a done deal! Heh, you wonder what being a professor of friendship would actually be like. Eh, probably super easy shit, whatever, still good. “Yeah, convincing the princess shouldn’t be too hard. Considering everything I’ve contributed to Equestria so far, convincing her should be cake.” Oh man, wait til Discord finds out. He’s gonna slap his knee and die laughing when he finds out you plan to outdo Twilight at her own fucking game.

“Oh, I’d like that very much. You’re so nice and sweet, Anon… Erm, Professor Anon, sir.” She did a cute little bow along with that title drop.

“At ease, my student” You strike a rather snooty pose as you pat Cozy on the head “For I am a merciful teacher.”

Cozy Glow had a giggle at that “You’re so silly, Anon. And… Oh!” She gasped in surprise “Weren’t you busy with something? You said you had to go, right?”

Wut? Awww, she was worried that she was taking up your time. Cute, but you didn’t mind hanging out with her. “Yeah, but I don’t mind hanging out with you a little longer. I want you to know that I really care about you, you know?”

“Oh, ummm. I’m really glad to hear that, Professor, truly I am. But I don’t want to take up your time, no I don’t. And besides, I was actually going home right now to get some bweakfast… oooohhh” She whined as she rubbed her adorable tummy. “But if we could meet up later, would that be ok? I don’t mind finding you.”

“Well, I don’t want to hold you from breakfast, and nah, we'll meet up soon. You run along, Cozy Glow. Oh! And for your first lesson, I just want you to stay optimistic, ok? Because I already know you’ll do ok. You’ll have a lot of friends before you know it.”

And then you saw it again, a quick flash of an evil glare. “Oh, I know I will, all thanks to you, professor!” She says as she gives you a gentle hug. “Bye bye!” and with a wave, she was off, skipping along happily on her way.

That glare, did you really see it? Or was your mind really that muddled? Nah, she was just a poor little filly looking for friendship, and as usual, you made another pony happy just by being yourself. Humans one! Twilight zero! Too easy! And Cozy Glow herself? Ogh, you were glad you were able to hold in any sexual feelings about her. Either you were getting better, or you just didn’t even want to risk making such an innocent little pony uncomfortable. As for Twilight, you’ll deal with that when you can, right now you had to get to the clubhouse.

You continued your trek to the clubhouse, ready to listen to whatever Scootaloo may have had to say. You thought about that cute filly you just met as well, she was so nice. Barely even knew her and she wanted you, Anon, to be a fucking professor at Twilight’s shitty ass school. Probably would be good too, now that you really thought about it, kids these days need realism in their lives. Though, as you woke up a little more and put more focus on the conversation itself, you did realize that Cozy Glow did seem off for a filly her age. Those glares, and hell, just the sudden timing of her being there at all…

“Wait a second… OH SHIT!” You stop, and quickly place down your saddle bag. You quickly sift through it until you find the map. Those glares, you could have sworn her eyes flashed red when she did them, or were they green? Shit! You frantically open the map and take a look near the position of the fountain and… “Huh…” There was nothing there, no dot of any sort. The only dot on the map was Scrappy’s, which was located at the clubhouse. You groan and put your hoof to your forehead in frustration “Dammit, Anon, you really did overdo it last night. Fuck man, she was there though. Am I overthinking things? No, I still have to keep an eye out for her, but I can’t let myself get too obsessed again. I swear, that filly was giving me the evil eye…” You deduced that your tired mind was running away from you at this point, you just had to not think so hard on it. You put away the map, and make your way to the clubhouse once more. “Scrappy is there too, huh? Good, maybe that means he actually knows something.”

When you got there, you wasted no time walking up the panels up to the door before giving it a knock. Your mind once again wandered back to that Cozy Glow filly, and the fact that she had impeccable taste.

“Applebloom? Sweetie Belle? That you?” You hear from the other side of the door, it was Scootaloo, which meant she was alone with Scrappy.

“Nope, it’s me, Anon. Scoots, mind letting me in?” Good, they weren’t here. This information was meant for the three of you and the three of you only, also Bonbon.

“Oh! Ok, give me a second.” Scootaloo opens the door and lets you inside, poking her head out to make sure no one followed you. As you stepped past her, you noticed the clubhouse was covered in Rainbow Dash memorabilia, as well as Scootaloo herself donning a Rainbow Dash hat. Huh, did she have a club meeting before you arrived? “Good morning, Anon.” She said in a rather cheery mood “I just had one of the best club meetings ever! Everypony was treating me like a hero! Isn’t that cool?”

She seemed so damn happy, makes you wish you knew about the meeting, you would have shown up to see it. Or maybe that was a bad idea, didn’t want to upstage her after all. “That's super cool, Scoots, good for you!”

“Yeah!” She said with a triumphant hop “I bet this is how Rainbow Dash feels like all the time! I mean, eheh” She then remembered that she was being treated as a hero for surviving a collapsing structure, a feat she didn’t manage on her own. “I know it really wasn’t over anything too heroic or anything, but still, we managed to beat that thing together, so I know I’ll be doing real hero stuff soon. You think so too, right?” She looked to you, desperate for a yes.

You didn’t, but… “Sure, just remember not to overdo it, Scoots, ok? Hero work can be pretty dangerous and…” You quickly try to shift the topic, you didn’t want to dawdle on her moment of grandeur. It was nice she was optimistic, but the world of Equestria was too dangerous for a pint-sized wannabe hero. “Well, y’know, just remember to start out small. Speaking of small, I noticed Scrappy showed up on my map and that he was here but…” You looked around, you couldn’t see him at all “Where is he? Did he just leave? Did he say anything about Chrysalis?”

“Oh yeah, he’s here. And guess what! He does know something about it!” Scootaloo walks over to the podium near the back of the clubhouse, and taps at something with her hoof, just behind it. “Scrappy, Anon is here for the info”

“I know he is, but I wanted to get this costume off first. I am a ruthless puppy, not a pony! I didn’t want him to get confused.” You hear his childishly naive voice from behind the podium, you notice a single leg trying to shake off something blue with a rainbow tail and… Wut? Was he wearing a Rainbow Dash costume?

“Erm, I mean, you’re a changeling too, right?” Scootaloo asked as she stepped to the other side and picked up the costume, hanging it on a hoof on a wall near an RD poster.

Scrappy popped his head out from behind the podium. He gave you an evil glare that, while in his puppy form, was none too threatening. Hell, ever since he became the same as the other changelings, any visual threat he may have posed was thrown out the window. “Yes, yes I am. I am the captain, and the protector of all my friends. But I am not a pony! Ponies who are not my friend or friends of my friends are still dumb.” He then locked eyes with you, narrowing them as he spoke “You didn’t see me as a pony, did you, Anon?”

Good god, what was this idiot on about this time? “I mean, no, but… Why wear a costume at all? Why not just… y’know… change into whatever you were going to wear a costume for?”

“Because!” He stepped out from behind the podium and stood tall as he put his paw to his chest “I am a changeling and a dog! And nothing else! Erm…” Then suddenly he got confused, and calmed down, almost adorably so “I mean, I haven’t really tried transforming into anything else since the queen left. I-i guess I’d become something really scary if somepony threatened my family or friends, but other than that, I like being a dog. I get to learn all sorts of things about loyalty, responsibility, love, respect, and fetch! I love fetch…” He just about drooled with a dumb smile on his face at the near mention of it. Still the same ole goof.

“Awww, c’mon Scrappy! You made a great mascot today, everypony loved you! Besides…” Scootaloo walked up to him and began to gently pat his head, causing his ears to fold as his mood pacified. “You didn’t seem to want to whine when you got all those hugs.”

“I do like hugs…” Scrappy murmured as he nuzzled into her hoof “I guess most ponies that are strangers are also good too.”

“There you go! See? Making friends on your own feels pretty good too, doesn’t it?” Scootaloo asked as she continued to gently pet at his head.

“I-i… Yes, it does feel pretty nice.” Scrappy admits as he finds himself lost in the affection. Then, like a switch being flipped, he snapped to attention with a few hops before looking at you with a smile and a waggity tail. “Oh wait! Speaking of friends! I have to tell Anon about the queen!”

Finally, it was a cute moment and all, but this was damned important. “Yes, Scrappy, please. What can you tell me about her? I know she was there, she used her magic on the dragon statue. Please, tell me what you know.”

“Ok! But only if you fight me. I’ve waited a long time for you to get stronger like I have, and so, I DEMAND A CHALLENGE!” He barks out as he pats his chest with his paw, looking at you with hardened determination.

“Scrappy, c’mon, no. Fighting your friends is bad, remember? I mean, you could just challenge Anon at chess again.” Scootaloo didn’t like to see Scrappy get riled up for a fight. She knew how serious he could get, and she knew it could lead into trouble.

As for you, you felt he had to be kidding. Scrappy could barely tap you when he was living in your basement, and with all your training, he had zero chances of beating you now. You didn’t need to go through a back and forth of yes and nos, so you raise your hoof to get their attention and accept his challenge “Its fine, Scoots, if he wants to challenge me then I’ll oblige him. Besides, I’ve been meaning to give my new skills a proper test.”

“Yes!” Scrappy does a hop of excitement before he prepares himself to rush right at you “Finally! He accepts! For the honor of Master Applebloom, I shall crush you!”

Scootaloo slapped her hoof over her own forehead with a sigh “Anon, why? Now he’s going to want to destroy you again. Besides, one of you could get seriously hurt, y’know?”

“Heh, you’re sounding like Applebloom there, Scoots. Look, it’ll be fine. I’ll just pin him and make him give up.” You say with a smirk as you enter a battle stance.

“Ugh, don’t say I didn’t warn you, Anon. Scrappy has been training a lot, both as a changeling warrior and a dog. He’s gotten super tough. But if you’re gonna be that way, then I’ll just be ready with the first aid.”

What? She didn’t believe in you? Goddamn it, c’mon Scoots, you could of sworn you both were closer than that. “Alright, whatever. Come at me, Scrappy, it’s go time!”

“FOR MY FRIENDS!” But Scrappy doesn’t charge at you, instead he reaches under the podium to pull out a basket of Rainbow Dash pins.

Wut?

“What are you going to do with those? Pin them on me? Look, you got three more seconds to make a move before I atomic buster your butt.” Like seriously, what was he planning to do with those?

“Exactly! You say you’re going to pin me down, but it is I who will do the pinning! Take this, Anon!” Scrappy, at breakneck pace, is able to snap off the sharp ends of the pins and toss them at you like a needle machine gun. Without falter, he became as fearsome as a German machine gun.

“W-what in the AGH!” You immediately began dodging the barrage of needles the best you could, jumping and weaving through the onslaught of pricks. While most hit the wall behind you, it eventually became overwhelming enough for you to have to use your saddlebag as a shield to protect you from the rest of the shots. Miraculously, due to your increased reflexes and thinking, you get out of it unscathed, though your bag was now a pin cushion. “Aha...ah..ha… HA! Nice try, Scrappy! But there was… Huh?” When you looked back at the podium, he was gone.

“SNEAKY SPIKE STRIKE!” Scrappy screamed out, suddenly from behind. Did he use that attack as a distraction then? You couldn’t really keep track of him when you used your saddlebag as a shield. You also didn’t have time to turn around when you felt a pin get shoved right into your right asscheek.

“GYYYAH!” You jumped forward, a jolt of pain hitting your rear as Scootaloo’s giggles filled the air. You look back at Scrappy, who falsely yawned as he put his paw over his mouth. “You little! That really hurt!”

“It was supposed to. I have given you, Anon, the pain in the rear you have oh so talked about many a time. NOW PREPARE FOR SALTY TEARS!” He cries out once again as he breaks his smug pose.

“Salty what now? What are you on abAFDFDASDAS” You cover your eyes with your hooves after Scrappy makes another lightning quick movement. As in, he somehow pulled salt out of fucking nowhere and threw it right into your eyes, causing you to fall. “HOLY CRAP! WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET SALT FROM?! GYAHH GEEZ!” You could barely see as you tried to wipe your eyes clean from the salty pain.

“I have been carrying around salt with me for many months! I was originally going to save it for my friends in case they forgot their own salt for use on delicious food, but it seemed good to use it now to open you up to my final attack!” Scrappy said as he prepared himself for a pounce.

“Months?” This confused Scootaloo greatly, as she never saw him with any kind of carrying case. “Scrappy, where were you keeping the salt all this time?”

“The perfect hiding place! Up my butt! It didn’t sting or anything thanks to my exoskeleton. The perfect hiding place!” He said with a happy little hiss.

Scootaloo cringed at that, that was gross. “Y-yeah, oogh… Sorry, Anon.”

“Wait. WHAT?! N-NGH?! MNGHHHH.” You could feel it, a sickening rumble in your stomach. That was too gross, you had what was essentially bug turd in your fucking eyes. Did changelings shit? You didn’t know, and you didn’t want to know. But the image was still in your head. “I-I don’t feel… so…” You just couldn’t hold it in, or really pay attention to what was going on. You hadn’t even realized Scrappy had finally made his charge forward towards you to pin you down. The moment Scrappy moved in close, you began to hurl,and hurl, and puke, and throw up, and everything else dealing with the action of spilling your guts out. Hell, it didn’t even make sense! How did the salt not dissolve after all that time?! It was too much, you fell unconscious just from the grossness of it all. It was in your eyes for christ sake!

“Agh! NGH! WHAT IS THIS?!” Scrappy cried as you puked all over his face during his charge. He stepped back as he shook his head, gagging from the smell of your vile bile. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get much of the liquid or it’s smell off his face. “It smells so bad! I-is this what Anon’s insides smell like?! Ngh, so… smelly… Anon smells worse than… Yak fart...nghaaaa” And he fell, and he fell hard, right onto his chin. Scrappy was out like a light so hard he reverted to his colorful changeling state upon unconsciousness.

Scootaloo just walked over and looked at you, and then Scrappy, and sighed. “Tie? I guess? Uhh…” Scootaloo could not only smell the puke coming from Scrappy’s face, but the salt he threw onto you had a pungent odor of its own which most likely contributed to your vomiting. “Ogh, that smells… Erm…” Scootaloo walked back to a set of drawers near the corner of the clubhouse and pulled out a lemon scented deodorizing spray. She walked up to Scrappy and gave his face a spray, instantly killing the odor. She then looked to you and gave you a spray as well. “There we go, that’s uh… Much better.”

“Anon? Hey, Anon. You ok?” Ugh, you could hear Scootaloo’s voice. But you couldn’t remember what happened after Scrappy challenged you. Did you get knocked out? Did you knock him out? And why did your eyes hurt?

“Ugh, Scoots? Ngh… what happened?” You opened your eyes to a blur of colors. You could see you were under a blanket marked with rainbow lightning bolts, and you could feel a pillow under your head. “D-did I win? Or lose? Erm…”

Your vision began to clear, and you could see Scootaloo looking rather unsure as she looks behind herself. It seemed Scrappy, as well, was knocked out due to… something. “Oh um, well, it was a tie actually.”

A tie? “Wha? How did that happen? I remember accepting his challenge but… Nothing right after that. Also...” You licked at your muzzle, tasting the bitter taste of something soapy and lemony “Why do I taste lemony fresh?”

Scootaloo put on a false looking smile as her voice jittered a tad “Oh um, you headbutted him and you both got knocked out. As for the smell, erm…” She shrugged “Wouldn’t know. Maybe you’re just tired or something” Huh, it was like something much worse happened and she didn’t want to let you in on it. Weird, especially since you don’t get knocked out by headbutts so easily. But then again, you were feeling rather woozy today. First that weird filly, and now getting knocked out by a headbutt. C’mon, Anon, you can do better than that!

“Yeah, maybe. I have been feeling really off, ngh. Can’t believe it was a double K.O. though.” You leaned upwards and gave your head a rub. Huh, you didn’t feel any kind of head pain. “Anyway, ugh… Can you wake him up and ask him yourself to tell me the info on Chrysalis, it’s really important that I find out.”

“Well, actually, Scrappy did tell me everything he knew about it.” Scootaloo said, as her sudden timid nature began to subside.

“What?! Then why did I have to fight him?!” You bellow

“I mean, he has been wanting to challenge you again for a really long time, Anon, especially after you finished your training. I didn’t wanna tell him no.” Scootaloo explained.

Of course, the little bugger must have been begging for a fight for awhile, ever since your training started most likely. “Right… Ok then, so, what’s the news then?”

“Well, there’s good news. And there’s some bad news. In that order” Scootaloo said

Huh… He knew enough to have both kinds? This oughta be interesting. “So what's the good news then?”

“Well, Scrappy says Chrysalis actually… well… saved us.” Scootaloo said, her voice not as cheerful as it should be given such news.

But you? Hah! You knew it! Or you felt it anyway, despite your previous fears. “Hah! I KNEW IT! Told you! Chrysalis may still be evil, but she’s still my friend. Plus, she must be learning something if she saved the both of us out of the blue and… wait” How did she save the both of you? From the glow of the statue, it looked like she blew it up herself. “How did she save us exactly?”

“Well, that’s the thing, she tried to save us. Scrappy says if you could notice her aura, then she was using a lot of magic on the statue. And the reason why she was using magic on the statue was because the gears were mangling each other at that point. Chrysalis tried to stop it altogether, but couldn’t hold it for long.” Scootaloo explained.

So the sounds of the gears, before the aura, that was the entire platform falling apart. Well then, the bad news didn’t sound too bad, and didn’t hold a candle to the good news. “Well, the bad part is behind us. Good to know we don’t have to worry about her now, now if only I could find her…”

“Erm, Anon, wait. That statue blowing up wasn't the bad news, I didn’t even say what it is yet. Actually…” Her ears began to fold and droop as she prepared her next words “You’re probably not gonna like this next part.”

Relax, Anon, you already know she tried to save you. Good enough to make whatever bad news you were about to hear to be pretty insignificant. “What is it?”

“Well, the reason Scrappy said she tried to save us in the first place was because he knows how she is. And so, he said there were actually two possibilities why she tried. The first was because you’re her best friend, and the other… erm… She um... “

“C’mon, Scoots, out with it. What other possibility could there be?!” Like, what else could it be?!

Scootaloo sighed, and looked at you with intense worry “The other possibility is that she wants to destroy you personally. Scrappy says she might want to get her revenge for what happened to the other changelings, personal revenge, as in she won’t let anything happen to you until she can destroy you herself.”

Shit, how could you forget that possibility? But, it can’t be that, right? She was stupid pissed when she ran off, but she was still your friend, right?

...Right?

Scootaloo could see you mentally trying to rationalize the news, and it was something she hated. She hated seeing you still try to hold onto such a friendship. She knew even when you verbally say you were over it, that you still clinged to it for reasons even she couldn’t understand. “Anon, I’m worried about you. If she wants to destroy you then we can’t keep this to ourselves. We have to tell somepony, she’s too dangerous.”

You sat there, silently, pondering. You couldn’t really tell anyone else, not even Discord. The only person you felt comfortable telling was Bonbon, and this was due to two reasons. Her skills, and the fact that in the show she really has done next to nothing when it comes to saving the world, which meant in the end, she wouldn’t get in your way. Still though, if Scootaloo was going to be worried so much about it, perhaps looking at Bonbon’s skills in a more optimistic light might be needed, if only because it could come to a surprise at how good she actually is at her job. Hell, if there happens to be some sort of final showdown, maybe she’d have the means of subduing Chrysalis without you even having to be there. All this, of course, if Scrappy’s second possibility turns out to be true, as she could have still just saved you due to friendship. “You’re right, Scoots. Thats why I’m gonna tell Bonbon about it. If anything, she should be able to help me out.”

“Anon! You can’t just… Oh wait” Scootaloo’s ear twitched as her face made an expression of pure confusion “You’re actually going to tell somepony?”

You nod “Yeah, I mean it’s dangerous not to, right?” It really wasn’t, as another thing you had was the horn, something she had no chance against anyway.

“Yeah… Ok, I guess that's alright. You’re not messing with me? You are going to tell her, right?” Scootaloo questioned

You nod again as you wave your hoof at her “Yeah, yeah, you have my word and my promise. But I’m gonna do that after a few errands. I gotta see the changelings today, and then Twilight.”

“The changelings?” Scootaloo was once again confused “Why? I thought you found them creepy.”

You shrug “I just wanna make sure everything is on the up and up, especially now that we know Chrysalis is skulking about. Better safe than sorry, right?”

“Yeah, that’s actually pretty true. I mean, Thorax seems nice, but we really don’t know what goes on over at that hive.” Scootaloo said as she rubbed her chin. Scootaloo, while she loved and trusted Scrappy like a little brother, still had trust issues with the rest of the changelings. It made sense, given that there still had to be some tension deep down within her after being attacked by them so long ago.

“Exactly.” You nod

“Ok, but what about Twilight then? Why see her? Unless you’re gonna tell her about Chrysalis too, which I kinda think you should, just in case” Scootaloo asked

“That's sort of a last resort kind of thing, Scoots. I just wanna see her about… Well… Don’t laugh.” Oh god, she’s gonna laugh. “I want to ask if I could work as a professor at her school.”

“You mean, teaching others about friendship stuff? I don’t think that’s funny, that’s actually kind of cool.” Scootaloo said, looking at you with an uplifting smile

“Seriously? You think it’s cool?” Woah, you expected her to laugh at you.

She nods “Yeah. I mean, you’re a kid like us, but you’ve managed to do so much in terms of friendship. Sure, you didn’t reform Chrysalis, but you reformed really scary ponies like Starlight and Tempest. I mean Rainbow Dash could have done it too, but you managed to do it before her, or even Twilight even. You have this knack that other ponies don’t have. So yeah, I think you could do it. Heck, I even got a cool title for you. You could be a professor of ‘Alternative Friendship Techniques’. Pretty cool, right? Just came up with it now!”

Wow, that was really encouraging of her, it made you feel like you could actually do it. “Yeah, that’s actually a pretty darn cool title. I think I’ll use it, thanks Scoots.”

“No problem, Anon. Though, if you do this, I’m gonna miss you. I mean, you know, at school.” She said with a soft frown

Wha? “You and the girls aren’t going to Twilight’s school?”

Scootaloo shook her head “Never got an invite, so nope. I guess she thinks we’re already good at friendship or something. I dunno, I guess. I don’t even know how that school is going to work. But if it's about teaching friendship, then you’d be perfect for teaching alternative techniques and stuff.”

Ok, why does she keep mentioning “alternative” techniques? It was kind of irking you. “Why do you keep saying that? Are you saying I can’t teach any normal friendship stuff?”

Scootaloo hesitates at first. But she does indeed nod with a slight grimace. “Erm… I mean, ummm… You kind of do ‘not so friendly’ kinds of things sometimes, Anon. I’m not knocking you or anything like that, but you know how Twilight is. That’s why I said ‘alternative’. Because one, you really are good at reforming bad guys, and two, its nothing like anypony else has ever seen, which makes it 'alternative'. See what I mean now?”

Huh… Well, while you still felt you were good at friendship all around, but you couldn’t deny that dealing with especially bad guys seemed to be mostly your strong suit. “I think I do, and… Thanks, Scoots. It’s good to know I at least have your support.” You tell her with a smile as you put on your horn.

“No problem, Anon, we’re a team, remember? We gotta get each others backs and support each other too. So, you going to the hive already?” She asks as she steps back, and opens up a cooler at the side of the podium.

You nod “Yeah, gotta get it done as soon as possible, you know?”

“Yeah, especially with what we know now. Here!” She takes an apple juice box from the cooler and tosses it towards you “In case you get thirsty, because… you could get thirsty.” She said, as her smile suddenly became awkward. What did she mean by that? You did feel rather parched, now that you thought about it, as if you had expelled a ton of liquid. But even then, it was odd to see her acting weird. But whatever, she was probably just worried.

“I will, thanks, Scoots, seeya soon” You wink at her as you catch the box, and then disappear in a flash of light.

“I really, really hope he knows what he’s doing.” Scootaloo remarks before tending to Scrappy, worried about your mental state and health.

In a flash of light, you appeared before an ominous yet rather cheerful mound that towered quite high. It was full of holes and had a large gaping entrance, all covered by beautiful flowers and greenery. Even around you, gardens were being well kept despite the outer area being a dry husk of a wasteland. Indeed, this was the changeling hive under Thorax’s rule. You stood there, and started sipping from the straw of the juice box as you thought internally to yourself out loud. “Ok, so that Neighsay guy said they are probably up to something, but what? This place is actually coming to look like a rather nice place for a giant termite hill.” You then put the juice box, half empty, into your bag. It’d be good to use to return home once you were finished.

But you did have to be careful, as you have only been inside once before during the time they moved back in. Who knows what they might be doing now, especially when they aren’t expecting company. You took a breath, and headed on inside.

Inside, you could see a network of tunnels and holes, along with sprawling large rooms between them. It looked like being inside yet outside, as everything was rather organic in its make. In the patches of sunlight coming from the outer walls, more greenery and flowers could be seen, and yet this isn’t what catches your eye. “Christ…” You could see many a colorful changeling, merrily giggling, having fun, and being generally merry, if a little pathetic. You also overheard such strange things such as “I tried throwing more sponges into the bath, but I didn’t feel any more relaxed” or “Being cool is really hard, y’know? I can only handle having so many ice packs on me before I get chilly. Maybe I should take a few off next time, right?”

For the most part, they seemed rather busy, so busy that they just didn’t notice you. Were you invisible? Or were they plotting something so hard that they failed to notice a foal in their midst? And if they were plotting, why did they seem as fucking stupid as Scrappy?

“Anon?” You hear from above. That voice, that pathetic voice. You look up to see the king of the color bugs, Thorax, hovering down in front of you “H-hey! Welcome to the hive!” He carefully lands in front of you, looking a little irked at your presence, but still generally friendly. “Didn’t expect to see you here… ever actually, but its very nice to see you”

Wut? “Why didn’t you never expect to see me here?” You say, noticing other changelings have finally started to take notice of you.

“Well, because, last time you were here, I could feel a lot of hate coming off of you. And erm, well, it was like you blamed me for what happened to the former queen leaving. Which, erm, I think was kind of a good thing because… Well… she was pretty evil and oh… erm…” As if he could sense a sudden anger in you from the mention of Chrysalis, he stopped in his words, and tried to be more inviting “Well, welcome to the hive… again. How may I help you?”

Indeed, you did have those feelings before, and perhaps you were still a might sensitive. But dammit, you had a lead now, and since Chrysalis was focused on you, there was no reason to worry about her for now until you could figure out a plan. “Well, I actually came here for business. Friendship school business”

“Oh? Oh!” A happy little smile formed on Thorax’s face when you said those words “You’ve been invited to Twilight’s new school? That's wonderful! I’m sure she’ll be able to help you with your… Your…“ Thorax stopped himself when he realized he was going to say “everything”, he really did feel that, most of all, your meaner demeanor and unhealthy obsessions were a detriment to your health. “Yeah! That’s great! And I’m glad you came to tell me too, as we ourselves are learning more about friendship everyday, and would not mind sharing it with you.”

Wut? Did he think you came to have some wimpy pow-wow or something? “Yeah, right. But I’m actually here for a reason. See, I heard you had a changeling prepped up to go to the school or something, and I’d like to meet him, if you don’t mind.”

“Oh! You want to meet your future classmate! That’s nice of you. Sure I can get Ocellus if you want. Erm, she’s a girl by the way.” Thorax mentions as he begins to flitter his wings.

Wut? “A girl? You mean, like, a queen?”

“What? Oh no no, she’s just a female changeling, Anon. That doesn’t make her a queen though, why would you think that?” He asks as he stops his wing movement, confused by your statement.

“Erm, well. Aren’t all the changelings boys? With the queen being a girl?” What is this nonsense? You don't remember any other girls.

“Uhhhhh, um. Anon, we always had girls in the hive, didn’t you know that? I mean, you had the hive in your basement for a long time, so I’m sure you noticed.” Thorax just looked really confused now, he couldn’t figure out how you could be so ignorant.

You start to laugh falsely, trying to downplay your mistake “HAHA! Right! Just messing with you, Thorax. Just a joke among friends, of course I knew, was just… A joke.” Holy fuck, how did you not notice?!

Thorax was even further confused “Aren’t jokes supposed to be funny?”

Ugh, you could feel the embarrassment run right through you, you just put your hoof to your face in shame. “C-can you just go get Ocellus, please?”

And Thorax could feel it, your embarrassment that is, and didn’t wish to push it further. “Right… I’ll go get her.” And with that, he flew off into one of the many holes of the hive.

You had female changelings the whole fucking time?! THE WHOLE TIME?! Females that you could have… No, wait, don’t get ahead of yourself. The changelings were a rather ugly sort aside from Chrysalis herself, and pretty dumb to boot, there was probably no way you’d fu-fu-fu-fu-fu…

As Thorax came back through the hole above, a gentle looking light blue bug, with soft eyes, followed behind. She was adorable, with a pink tail, and a pink head frilly… thing. Even her wings were cute. THAT’S OCELLUS?!

Thorax landed in front of you, and presented Ocellus to you with whimsy in his voice. “And here she is, your future classmate, Ocellus. I hope you both become fast friends!”

Ocellus looks to you with a childishly cute smile as she waves her hoof “Hey, Anon. It’s nice to see you again, I’m… actually surprised you remember me.”

Remember? How the fuck were you supposed to when you have never seen such adorable bugginess before?! HOW IS SHE SO CUTE?! “Oh, erm… Ahrm.” Be polite, Anon, she looks fragile. “I’m afraid I don’t, but I wouldn’t mind getting to know you now. Erm, Thorax, would you mind if I spoke to her alone? Y’know, ease things a bit for when we see each other again at the school?”

“Oh, um, ok! Ocellus, you don’t mind, right?” Thorax asks her

Ocellus shakes her head, still having that sweet smile “Not at all, if anything, this will help me further the friendship studies I’ve already been reading about. I’d love a chance to make friends with Anon, especially since he doesn’t remember me.” Huh, seems she didn’t seem hurt at all that you didn’t remember her… Weird, you’d think she would.

Thorax took his leave, leaving the two of you alone, though there were still other changelings about. It prompted her to invite you outside so you both could have a private chat. “So you’re going to Twilight’s school? That’s wonderful, Anon. I feel, personally, that there are so many more things to learn about friendship, more than what I can learn than just staying at the hive and reading about it.”

Man, she wasted no time in being adorably friendly. “Yeah, erm… you’re not hurt at all that I don’t remember you?”

She shook her head “Not at all, especially when you were dealing with so many other things at the time. But look, now we have a chance to not only be friends, but to be friends with so many others too! Isn’t that nice?” She said in a soft yet sickly sweet tone.

How could she be so nice and into friendship if she was down in your basement all that time? And even furthermore, being stuck with Chrysalis even before that. “Yeah, that sounds awesome. Though, I gotta ask, what got you so deep into wanting to go to the school in the first place?”

“Oh, um, a lot of things.” She looks up in the air and tilts her head as she starts to name things off “Being nice makes me feel better, having all kinds of friends seems nice, learning about the world around me is something I’ve always been interested in, and most of all…” She looks to you with a cheery smile “Knowing you, even from a distance, gave me a lot of courage to want to try.”

You? Wut? “Me? What did I do?”

“You managed to become friends with the queen, Anon. Ok, she’s sort of mean and really nasty, but you still managed to become her very first friend, which is incredible! I felt if you could make friends with her, maybe I could make friends with everycreature too!” She was really cheery about this. Hah, your own amazing abilities precede you.

“I mean, I am pretty great. Heh, glad I could help. Yeah, friendship is a pretty good thing, Ocellus, and I’m glad to have been an inspiration.” Yep, you were awesome and… wait, why is she blushing? “Ocellus? You ok?”

“Erm… um. Actually, I was thinking back…” She sat back, and started to shyly tap her hooves together “To when me and my sisters had a crush on you.”

WUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT?! THIS CUTE BUG, AND HER SISTERS, HAD A CRUSH ON YOU?! AS IN, MULTIPLE GIRLS?! “U-um, what do you mean?” You started to feel that familiar heat wash over you, did she still have a crush on you?

“Well, you were the only one to be friends with the Queen. And my sisters and I, I guess because we were the youngest, and kind of naive, kind of latched onto you and how cool you were. We were kind of always talking about how we could get close to you, and maybe, cuddle?”

You let out a huge breath of air, and started to slowly wheeze. “C-cuddle?”

“Mhmm, I remember you really liked to cuddle. Sometimes we thought about cuddling with you all at the same time, taking forms of things you found really nice.” She said.

GYAH! YOU COULD FEEL IT! THE MISSED OPPORTUNITY SHOOTING YOU TO DEATH WITH A MACHINE GUN! You felt dazed, your breath becoming heavier as you felt like crumbling right there. “A-all of you? A-at once?”

“Mhmm, we just wanted to make you feel really nice, and do whatever you asked us to. I-I mean, we also wanted to feed off you, but we still… Really wanted to be around you.” Ocellus said, her voice never becoming lustful, still retaining that soft innocence.

You were crumbling, you couldn’t handle this. You had multiple girls, MULTIPLE GIRLS, WHO COULD BECOME WHOEVER! WANTING TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD! HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! FUCKING NO! DEAR GOD, PLEASE, NO! WHY DID YOU MISS OUT ON THIS?! “E-erm, w-would it be weird if I asked why you didn’t come to me sooner?”

“Oh, well, that’s easy. We were afraid the queen would do something really bad to us. She kind of seemed like she wanted you to be her and the captain’s friend only, so we never tried. Really, back then, I was kind of scared to do anything. Or talk to anycreature else, even when I was… erm… bad.”

G-G-GUH. You were losing it! You couldn’t hold it together! “W-what about now? D-do you still feel the same way?”

She shook her head “Not anymore, everything is different now. I only have a crush on friendship! And wanting to learn as many new things as I can. That’s why I can’t wait to go to school, and it's all thanks to you, Anon! It’s the same with you, right?” She looks to you, then gasps in fright “Anon?!”

You were down on the ground, your color dulled, your libido crushed by the giant rocks of missed opportunity. It was right there in front of you, and you somehow just did not notice it. “Death, come unto me, for those who hesitate are lost. What am I, but a man with a lust for the tender flesh of the female form, to indulge in the fruit of pleasure at least once, as I’d not be able until I come of age. My life is nothing, I am nothing, the world is nothing, all due to the faltering of one’s own mind. Here lies the fool, defeated by his own ignorance. Leave me, for I am done.” You say in a grim tone before slamming your face to the ground.

“Erm, Anon…” Ocellus looked left and right, confused at your sudden poetry, thinking you were trying something for class. “T-that was sudden. I-I don’t really get it, b-but it sounded very… Poetic? A-are you alright?”

You said nothing, you just laid there, looking dead.

“I-I’m going to get King Thorax now. Erm…” She couldn’t say anything else as she could feel a dread in your heart ever growing. She went back inside the hive to get Thorax for help.

“Diamond, forgive me, for I have sinned… Or just really wanted to, that one time, god… fucking… dammit!” You slam your head the moment Ocellus was out of earshot.

Sometime after, Ocellus and Thorax came back outside to check on you. By that time, you were already up, brushing yourself off and highly frustrated with the fact you missed out on harem sex. Still though, if it’s one thing you could say, the changelings weren’t up to anything bad. Ocellus herself just seemed like an eager if naive little bug girl who just wanted to be studious and learn about friendship even further than what she could learn here at the hive.

With that, your mission was complete. You apologized to Ocellus for your shambling demeanor, explaining to her that you were just tired. Something she agreed with given how she remembered how you had trouble waking up in the morning. Thorax however, now knowing you were ok, seemed pretty pleased that you and Ocellus hit it off, as he could sense nothing but an odd sense of joy from you when you looked at her. He offered you a drink, and extended an invitation to some feelings therapy like...thing. But you declined.

You found it weird, however, this Ocellus. Maybe it was her eyes, or maybe it was her tone, but you felt that had you not influenced her in any way at all, that she would be this shy and timid creature afraid to show her own face. If that was the case, you must have really been something to break her out of that shell.

It made you think, maybe more good things came out of your friendship with Chrysalis than you thought. Hell, it’s not like she would have been an actual character or anything whose shyness would have been broken by five other misfits and their misadventures or some shit like that. You really were a hero. But if that was the case…

Dammit Chrysalis, were you not inspired enough? Could you really not see it?

As for you, was that obsession coming over you again? Maybe, Scoots and the others really were right. You had already done so much good already. This refocus on Chrysalis could bring everything down, especially if she somehow manipulated you through this. You can’t, you can’t let yourself ruin what you’ve already managed to do. So you look to Ocellus, and give her a nod. “It was nice meeting you, Ocellus, and I really am glad I could help inspire you to want to make more friends. You stay awesome, alright?”

“Ok! Thank you, Anon! It was really nice getting a chance to know you, erm, again! Also, drink more liquids, ok? I got scared there, and if I’m correct, drinking lots of water helps ponies stay hydrated and healthy.” She said to you, still worried about your health.

“Y-yeah, I-I’ll remember that. T-take care, you two, seeya when I sees ya” You used the remaining juice you had to return home. Welp, he was wrong about the changelings. So no worries there. And that Ocellus, she was alright. But just remember Anon, you have a girl already, just stick with it.

Upon returning home, you had a few choices available to you. Go to Bonbon’s or go see Twilight. True, you were going to do both anyway, but the temptation to ask to be a professor at the school was growing within you. But, these thoughts are broken when you could hear heavy machinery coming through your floor door. “Huh?” You hop off your bed and head towards it, opening it to peer downward.

There wasn’t much of a sight, just the usual oddities. But you did see Discord, donned in a suit and sunglasses and using a cell phone, pacing angrily around the trap door to the basement. “What do you mean you won’t have the snacks for the concession stand ready for tonight?! Don’t you realize Anon takes forty chapters just to go to the bathroom? That should leave you ample-Hmm? What? No, no… I can’t actually think of a time I’ve seen him use a bathroom, but my point still stands! If the stand isn’t ready by tonight, I’ll have your beard!” Discord growls as he hangs up the cell phone, and throws it to the ground, causing it to explode. “I swear, magically created clones are so lazy these days.”

Well, it seemed he was taking tonight very seriously, in his own way anyway. You decide to slowly close the door and head to your portal door, opening up to the city hall setting once again, near the center of Ponyville. You step through to make a trek towards the castle, but luck manages to favor you as you see Twilight walking by nearby, accompanied by Rarity. If anything, that makes things easier. They seemed to be heading towards the direction of the spa, which given Rarity’s presence, was probably exactly where they were headed. You decide to slowly follow, and trail from behind unnoticed by dashing behind poles and bushes to listen on their conversation.

“...Trust me, darling. You’ll feel like a new mare after all this. Really, you shouldn’t stress yourself too much about yesterday or Discord’s vulgar little stunt. Anon and Scootaloo are quite alright, so no need to worry about that. As for the statue, well, at least it was lemonade.” You could hear Rarity trying to pep up Twilight, who upon closer inspection, seemed pretty stressed out.

“I know, I know it was all part of the show, but it seemed so real and so dangerous to put those two through that, especially Scootaloo. As for Discord, ugh, UGH, that was worse than vulgar! And to even suggest using it as the centerpiece of the school?! Sometimes he just goes too far, especially these days. Rarity, I’m telling you, Anon has something to do with it, Discord would have never done something… egh, that gross.” Twilight whined, acting like a little bitch as far as you were concerned. How bad was it that she had to blame you?!

“And I told you I’d hear no such thing. Yes, Anon is a little rough around the edges, but he’s a good and courteous colt as far as I’m concerned. Besides, given the statue’s expression, it was clearly all Discord’s idea, I highly doubt Anon had anything to do with it. Twilight, I know you’re a little high strung right now, but you can’t both worry about him AND accuse him with such baseless accusations. Why would you even suggest such a thing?” Rarity asked. Yeah! Rarity stepping up to defend you! Well, you did know about the statue, but you had nothing to do with it, so Twilight could, in fact, fuck off.

“I… Hmmm. I guess I’m just not thinking clearly.” Or Twilight was still keeping the full truth about you a secret. Many in your friends and friends’ circles knew of your origin, but not of your age, so of course Rarity still thought of you as an innocent colt. Which you were, for the most part. It also was pretty much your cue to come in.

“Girls! Hey! Hey! What’s up!” You yell out with cheer, bouncing from the bushes behind before they notice, and trotting over to Rarity’s side to give her a quick nuzzle “Hey Twilight! Good Afternoon, Miss Rarity! I hope you both have been having a wonderful day today!”

“Awww, good afternoon, Anon. And yes, I have, and so will Twilight once I get her to the spa. She’s been having a bad couple of days, you see, and needs a little freshening up.” Rarity explains as she stops to give you a friendly little headpat.

Twilight’s ear flicked as she looked at you both with suspicion, and yet with some relief. She was torn with being happy to see you physically alright, while still suspecting you of wrongdoing. But it seems better judgement won with her this time as she greets you with a friendly demeanor “Hello, Anon”

“Heya, Twilight!” You look over to her with a cheery grin. You could be an asshole, but you needed to butter her up just a bit to increase your chances with what you were about to ask. “I hope what happened with the test didn’t scare you or anything. I mean, I knew Scoots and I could handle it. And whatever else is worrying you, don’t even worry about it. I mean, think of it this way, Now you get to hang out with one of your best friends at the greatest spa in Equestria! That’s pretty awesome if you ask me.”

“Well well, now that’s the kind of optimism everypony needs nowadays.” Rarity once again gives you a gentle little headpat. “See, Twilight? You’re stressing over nothing. Speaking of stress. Anon, I’m sure all that training and whatnot has left you rather fatigued as well, would you like to accompany us to the spa? My treat.”

Ohhhhh, that was an offer you felt you shouldn’t refuse. But dammit, you did make plans with Discord and you didn’t know how long you’d be with Bonbon, as you knew she’d get on your case the moment you mention Chrysalis. You felt bad for rejecting, but you were sure she’d understand if you still sounded cheery. “Sorry, Miss Rarity, but I have a few important things I have to do today, but would I be able to take a rain check on that, maybe? Oh!...” IDEA! “For me and erm… Diamond, maybe?”

Rarity stopped for a moment, and then gave you a rather tricky grin “Oho, I see what you’re doing, Anon.” She let out a soft chuckle “Alright, I accept. I could make it as part of your false honeymoon after the false wedding. You won’t even need to pay me back, as the blossoming young love you two share will be payment enough.”

Fucking score! You were sure Diamond would be ecstatic to spend the day at the spa with you, getting relaxed and extra cozy with you and… erm… ho boy, things might get steamy. Still, thanks to Rarity, you not only scored a relaxing afternoon, but a relaxing afternoon you get to share with Diamond.

Though, thinking about it now, and the childishness of it all being part of a false honeymoon. It made you realize that the love she has for you, most of all, is genuine. It made you feel that perhaps you should use that time at the spa to get to know each other a little better, non sexually. Sure, you both had been close for awhile, but you really should get to know more about her likes and dislikes and such. She may be a foal, but there’s more to her than just being a Rich with a dream of becoming a princess. Noted.

You take a bow, appreciative of her generosity “Thank you, Miss Rarity, you’re always way too kind to me. I really appreciate the offer.”

“You’re very much welcome, Anon. It’s a pleasure to be of service.” Rarity herself, does a cute little curtsy towards you. Though, looking at Twilight, she was once again looking at you with slight suspicion. Christ, you had a feeling she’d say no given that look. But hell, if you present her with logic, she may very well come around.

“Again, thank you. Um, actually, it’s good that I ran into you two. Well mostly Twilight anyway. I wanted to ask her a question about her school.” You keep up the cheery act, hoping a positive attitude would help your chances at least by a little bit.

“Hrm? Oh?” And that immediately catches Twilight’s attention, and positively so too, and she suddenly becomes happy and energetic “Did you change your mind about the invitation, Anon?”

“Er, sorta? I was actually wondering if you’d, well, given the fact I managed to reform quite a few dangerous foes and become their friends and all, um, y’know… Ahrm” Just let it out, Anon! You look towards Twilight, and give her a confident look along with a commanding stance “I’d like to become a professor at your school. I think I have the experience to teach, what I’d like to call, alternative friendship techniques. In other words, ways of friendship that are additive to the six basic elements that could help those who might have trouble understanding said elements.”

“What? Anon, I can’t let you become a professor at my school.” Twilight says, surprised by your sudden question “Especially since the elements themselves are a proven method of friendship!”

Did she just ignore everything you just said? “Sure, but it doesn’t always work! C’mon, we had this discussion before and we even agreed the school could help those who might have the same troubles Tempest and Starlight did. Well, who better to help them but the guy who can manage it in the first place?” C’mon Twilight, even you can’t deny that shit. What argument could she possibly dish out at you?

“Anon, that doesn’t mean you’re qualified to teach. The kinds of students we’ll be having will be from across the entire world, many who may have not even heard of the elements in the first place. It’s important for them to learn about the elements over anything else to help them along the path of friendship. You can join along with them, but I can’t let you teach them your ways.” Twilight explains. She wasn’t angry, but she was adamant on not letting you teach at her school.

“Twilight, to be fair, you…” Dammit, your eyes shifted to Rarity’s, who was observing and already becoming growingly distraught at the situation. As if she could feel the tempers rising. You wanted to slam the whole Yak thing back at her again, as well as losing to Tempest, Starlight, and apparently pissing off those Hippogriff things. You did, but you didn’t want to upset Rarity. “You don’t know that for sure. I’m not flaunting my title here, I’m merely saying sometimes the elements aren’t enough, and you know I have methods others have never even thought of here in Equestria. Doesn’t that at least warrant me a chance?”

Twilight shakes her head, still remaining calm “Anon, I’m not saying what you managed to do isn’t impressive. But it has no place in my school. I’m sure if you took the classes, you’d understand that. You could at least give that a chance, right?”

What?! Fuck her! You already knew enough about the fucking elements, what else was there for you to learn?! “Twilight, I practically understand all the elements as well as I understand basic math, it's all elementary to me at this point. Hence why I feel my class could ADD to the elements, really help those who want to further better themselves beyond just knowing the elements.”

Both you and Twilight looked to each other, with Twilight readying herself for her next set of words. But Rarity, sensing the tension between the two of you, decides to speak up. “If I may interject, and indeed throw in my own opinion, I’d say you’re both correct”

Wuh? Both you and Twilight look to her, confused by her words.

“Well, think about it. Twilight does have a point, as is there another not mentioned. The school hasn’t even opened yet, therefore it is a new frontier for not just it’s future students, but for us as well. We ourselves don’t have any experience actually teaching as professors, yet all of us are working hard to come up with a curriculum centered around the elements of harmony. To say the least, to further add on an alternative class from the get go might be confusing for everycreature. Then there’s the fact that you are rather too young to teach, Anon, and I mean that with no disrespect. I simply mean it in a way that you are not only gaining experience in friendship, but in life too, in a way a foal usually does… Even if it’s out of the ordinary in your case. However, I do have to say that you are quite mature for your age, more than any other foal I’ve known. And your heroic deeds are genuine and great, especially when dealing with foes we as a team of six, could not. And truthfully, I would be interested to see your methods brought forth in the classroom. Perhaps, and this is only a suggestion, we could have a trial run of this class next year, after we’ve managed to settle in ourselves. That doesn’t sound too bad, now does it?”

A year? Well, if it was definite, that wouldn’t be too bad. “I… wouldn’t mind that.”

“Twilight? What do you think?” Rarity asked

“...” Twilight was silent, deep in thought. It took a few moments, but then she finally nodded and looked to you with a stoic glare “If he agrees to take the classes, then I’ll have something set up for him next year. Does that sound fair?”

G-guh?! Really?! REALLY?! Ngh… Why?! You didn’t need her stupid fucking classes, you already knew about the elements. You felt tense, you felt disgusted, and yet… Hell, if that's what it’d take, then she better fucking keep her end of the bargain. “Yeah, but no take backsies. Friends don’t lie to friends like that, right, Twilight?”

“...Right.” Twilight was a little hesitant on that, but she seemed to really want you to attend those classes, and so she bit the bullet. “In fact, if it’d make it easier on you, you could enroll a week after the school opens. Given we’d start with the basics you already know, there’d be no reason to take up your time with it. Just know that if you want that class, you’d have to be ready for school after that week.”

A week off, eh? Well, if it let you avoid the boring ass basics… “Deal!”

“Hurrah! See? Now everypony is happy. And with that, we really do need to be going, Twilight. Don’t want to wait too long, as the spa will be closing in an hour.” Rarity said, before looking at you with a smile, and then a wink. “As for you, Professor Anon, I’m already curious as to what your class will bring to the friendship table.” Heh, as in, she already felt you’d get through the year just fine.

“Don’t worry, I’ll have it all worked out by the end of the year. In any case, I don’t want to keep you two.” You bow to them “Goodbye Miss Rarity, Princess Twilight. And thank you for this opportunity.”

“I admit, I’m surprised you want to teach at all. But if you really mean it, and you’re willing to put in the effort, then you’re welcome, Anon, from the bottom of my heart.” Twilight says, with a sense of hope and serenity in her heart. As if she felt things would be ok thanks to you finally agreeing to take the classes. For you, you just managed to get what you wanted, even if you had to wait a fucking year. You all bid farewell to each other. And as they went off to the spa, you 180’d towards Bonbon’s house.

But, as you pass by the fountain, you hear a familiar adorable voice “Professor Anon, hi again!”

Wuh? You look back to see Cozy Glow, who was suspiciously ducking behind the fountain out of sight of Twilight and Rarity. You thought she left, why was she here? “Cozy Glow?”

She looked to you with a cheery smile, then raised her head and hovered up to see that Rarity and Twilight had gone before looking back at you “Mhmm! Just little ole me! Hi! How did it go with Princess Twilight, are you going to be teaching us when the school opens?”

Ok, that’s weird, was she trailing them? Or was she trailing you? Or did she really just wait here the entire time? How would she have trailed you, anyway? You just got here. “Uh, before I answer that, what are you doing here?”

“Oh! Hehe” She giggled, then looked left and right with suspicion “I noticed you were playing some kind of spy game, and I thought I’d play too! But then when I noticed you talking to Princess Twilight, I decided to hide here so I wouldn’t get caught. Or um…” She suddenly looked really confused “I guess I dunno how to really win the game actually. And since Princess Twilight walked away, I kinda guessed I won. So I thought I’d pop out and ask you if you got the job, since I think that is what you were talking to her about.” She said, giving you an innocent grin.

Well, that was convoluted as fuck. Is she a, well, a special needs pony or something? “I see, erm, well I didn’t get it unfortunately, at least not for this year. I kind of have to attend the school first before Twilight is willing to let me have a chance at teaching at her school. Not the best result, but all it means is I’ll have to show her that I have a real mastery over the six elements. That way Twilight knows that, y’know, that I’m the best. Sure, that sounds arrogant sounding, but I think I deserve a little recognition in the friendship department considering all I’ve done.” Indeed, you were agitated that Twilight still couldn’t see how well you managed yourself in the face of adversity, at least as far as friendship is concerned.

“Oh, I agree. I think you’re oh so amazing at it! I’d say super duper amazing! A lot more than… erm…” She suddenly looks down, feeling shameful “Me. I know we’re fwiends but… I feel like I haven’t done enough to show how much I appreciate you accepting me. Golly, I’m a really bad friend, aerwn’t I?” She looks at you, with tear filled eyes. Christ, she’s a super sensitive little thing.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry, alright? We just met, remember? Besides, it’s not like I’ve really done anything for you too. Look, Cozy Glow, friendship with me really is more of a ‘when you run into me’ type of thing. I’m always coming and going and that hasn’t really given you a chance to get to know me too well. I uh, I mean, if it means that much to you…” You open your saddlebag and look inside to give her something, a present, to hopefully cheer her up. Unfortunately, all you had were the usual stuff, and you weren’t about to hand her your grappling hook or wings. Hmmm…

Well, it’s not like you really needed it for anything else today. You put on your horn, and hold out your hoof as it begins to spark. Cozy Glow stares at your sparkling hoof, amazed “Ohhhh? What are you doing, Anon?”

“Forging a gift with my horn, looks pretty neat, huh?” You ask

“Mhmm, wowie, you do look pretty nifty being all cool and glowy like that. B-but a gift?” She suddenly seemed rather antsy “A-are you really using those super limited charges you have on me? Are you sure you should do that?”

“Heh, I see you know about my charges. Nah, it’s fine, they recharge every night at midnight, so it’s no big deal.” With focus, power, and ingenuity, you craft a doll of yourself onto your hoof. A little self serving, but it should let her know that she’ll always have a friend in you, even from a distance. “Here you go, a doll of me, to remind you that we’ll always be friends, no matter how far apart we are.” Oof, you almost grimaced at that last bit, you realized this action could easily have her develop a crush on you.

She looks at the doll for a moment, then grabs onto it and hugs it tightly, letting out an adorable “eeeee! I love it!” It was heartwarming to be sure. She hovered upwards, holding the doll as she cheerfully says “I’ll always make sure to take good care of it, Anon! You’re the bestest best friend ever! And I promise to always make sure to be the bestest friend to you!”

Ogh, oh yeah, maybe that was a little too much. You give her an unsure grin and an unsettled chuckle “T-that’s great, Cozy Glow. Um, just remember that we’re just friends, ok? Don’t want to overcomplicate things, right?”

“Oh… Because of your marefriend, right? No, no, I understand!” She slowly hovers down, gives you a wink, and then smiles brightly as she presses on her cheeks “I really do understand that you’re really lovey around each other, and I promise not to do anything to ruin that or make it seem that I am lovey with you. Just friends, I got it, weally I do. Erm… Actually” She then moves a little closer, seemingly excited to ask her next question “Would you mind if I followed you around right now? You seem super busy and I’d really not mind, really really not mind, helping you with whatever you need!”

Understanding, adorable, and wanting to be useful and helpful. This filly was a pretty good friend already, made you wonder why she had to go to Twilight’s school at all if she was this eager and nice. Hell, you almost accepted her offer right there and then, but then you remembered why you were going to Bonbon’s. It seemed so hurtful to you to decline her offer that your ears folded as you prepared to give her the bad news. “Sorry, Cozy, this is kind of a thing I gotta do alone. But, we will be running into each other a lot more in the future it seems, so we could probably work as partners on some project or something. That ok with you? I mean, it’s not you or anything, it’s just that I’m doing-”

And then she cuts you off, seemingly unphased by your hesitance to bring her along “Secret hero work? Gee willikers, and here I was being selfish and nearly ruining things. But don’t you worry, Anon, I understand.” She salutes to you, with a militaristic stare “And you can count on me on not being an annoying or overbearing friend. I fuwwy understand, and I promise to never get in your way or make your marefriend jealous. As your friend, I will always do my best.” She then looks to you with a shy giggle, then presses on her cheeks once again “Was that a good way to make a promise?”

Yeah, actually, that pretty much covers all your bases. Wow, why couldn’t the CMC be this on point. Well, Scootaloo mostly was, but not the other two. “That was perfect, Cozy. Anyway, I gotta go, but I promise to meet up with you the moment I can, alright?”

“Ok! You take care, alright, Anon? And don’t stress yourself either, you look awfully worried” She said as she gave you a gentle pat on the head.

Did you? Then again, you were about to share some rather sensitive information on Chrysalis with someone who could either be a major help or a major hindrance. It was a gamble, but if Bonbon really cared about you enough, then you were sure she’d keep it all a secret from the likes of Twilight and the others. “It’s fine, just worried about a few silly things. I get like that sometimes.”

“Oh, ok. Well, good luck then! Can’t wait to see you again!” She happily waved to you, doll held close.

You say your goodbyes, and head off to Bonbon’s. You felt a little more optimistic than you’d usually be. Maybe that was thanks to Cozy Glow and her understanding yet incredibly cheerful nature. Hell, she seemed pretty smart too, given she knew to keep a romantic distance from you. You’d have to see about inviting her to the fake wedding, if only to make the poor little thing feel more included, and hopefully allow her to make friends.

You made your way to Bonbon’s house, with the thought of professorship leaving your mind and being replaced with having to be a student and having to deal with Chrysalis. For now, you’d focus on the more important latter. Chrysalis was focused on you now, possibly in such a way of wanting you dead. But is that what she truly wants? If it is, that would mean you might have no other choice than to…

No, Anon, don’t think about it.

No, you’ll be able to talk about it when you talk to Bonbon about it. Speaking of Bonbon, you probably had to prepare for Lyra to be with her as well. They are rarely apart and you could feel Lyra was going to be rather nosy about it. Then again, she was very good hearted, so you knew she wouldn’t say anything to hurt you.

When you reached Bonbon’s home, you took a moment to prepare yourself, take a breath, and then knock on the door. “Hello? Bonbon? You there? It’s me, Anon!” You shout as you plop your butt down, wagging your tail about as you wait for the cute mare to open the door.

The door opens, but Bonbon is not the one to pop her head out. Instead, it’s Lyra. She looks left and right, then looks down at you with a cheery smile “Well looky here! Long time no see, Anon. How are you doing today?”

You look to Lyra with a smile as you give her a gentle wave of your hoof “Heya, Lyra. I’m doing alright, just came to talk to Bonbon. She’s here, right? I mean, it is her house.”

“Yup, she’s here. Come on in, we’re playing ‘Doctor’! Would be nice to have a colt like you play with us.” Lyra says as she turns around and walks inside, leaving the door open for you.

“D-doctor?” You immediately blush, there’s no way… “I mean, I-I guess I can play, What kind of game is it?” You ask as you follow Lyra inside.

“Hm?” Lyra stops, and turns to look at you, she could see you were blushing red. “Anon, why are you blushing like that?”

Shit! Were you blushing?! “U-umm, just had a thought.”

“Oh, is it because you’ll be playing with us? C’mon, Anon.” Lyra giggles at you “I know its a bit of a silly game, but me and Bonbon like playing it from time to time. And there’s no shame in losing to mares like us.” Lyra gives you a wink and a cocky grin as she enters the living room. A simple room with wooden walls, a couch, some cabinets, and a small table for drinks and such.

Damn, looks like it’s not the “Doctor” you were thinking of. Why would it be anway? In fact, as you follow Lyra into the living room, you could see Bonbon over a table, with some tweezers in her mouth, as she tries to pluck something from a game board with a sleeping pony with holes in it. Oh, this was just “Operation: Pony Edition.” . “Nah, it’s not that. Erm, it’s more like-”

“SHHHHHHHHH!” Bonbon gives you both an evil glare, then went back to trying to pick out what seemed to be the heart. Christ, she’s taking it seriously.

“Wow, I didn’t expect her to be this into any game” You whisper to Lyra “She must really be good at it if she can focus that much”

Lyra stifles a giggle, and whispers to you “Not really, Bonbon actually isn’t good at this game. But she wants to be, she gets kinda angry just thinking about it. I think it has to do with her agent stuff. Y’know, as in she’s probably really precise when she’s working, but she somehow can’t do it when she’s just being herself.”

Huh… “Interesting, so then, how is this game going anyway?”

“Oh, I got the leg bones, the ribs, the tailbone, the horn, and the wing bones.” Lyra whispers

“And what does Bonbon have?” You ask

“Well, if she manages this? The heart” Lyra replies

Oh christ, poor Bonbon. “Oh. Oh geez,I didn’t think she’d be that bad.”

“Shhh, don’t be mean. Bonbon just has trouble not touching the sides. She’s still really amazing at-” Lyra is suddenly cut off by a loud buzzing noise “not that”

“EVERYTIME! EVERY DANG TIME! I CAN EASILY SLIP A SLEEPING NEEDLE RIGHT INTO THE CENTRAL POINT OF A BUGBEAR, BUT I CAN’T REMOVE A HEART?! A FAKE PLASTIC HEART?! THAT’S IT! I’M DONE WITH THIS STUPID GAME! TO TARTARUS WITH ‘DOCTOR’ AND TO TARTARUS WITH ’MARETTEL’! YOU WON’T GIVE ME YOUR HEART?! THEN I’LL BREAK YOU IN TWO! RAGHHH!” Bonbon furiously flips the board into the air with her hooves. It flies, spinning, right into your head. However, the board was so light and rather flimsy, that it splits into two and still continues at a blazing pace into the next room with no sign of slowing down. As for you, you didn’t even feel it.

“Anon! Are you alright?!” Lyra gasps, watching the split board fly by as you continue to look towards Bonbon, undeterred by such a hit.

“Yep, gonna take more than a flimsy plastic board to phase me. Hey, Bonbon, you alright?” You ask her.

Bonbon was still obviously upset as she just looked forward in rage. After a moment however, she snapped out of it, and looked at you. Though, she wasn’t as fearful about the smash as Lyra was “Yeah, I just needed a moment. So, that didn’t hurt at all, huh?”

“Nah, I’m fine. Can’t say the same for the board though, that alicorn won’t be doing any princessing any time soon. Can’t imagine how many ‘patients’ you’ve been through already” You say with a gentle chuckle, giggling at your own joke.

“Yeah, yeah.” Bonbon groans as she walks towards her couch and hops on top of it, sitting as any normal pony would as she rests her head on the arm rest, defeated. “It's just a stupid game anyway.”

“Awww, Bonbon, don’t take it so hard. I know! How about I go grab your cards from the closet and we all play ‘Go Fish’ “ Lyra said, in an attempt to lift the spirits of her friend.

“Eh, I guess. Anon, you wanna play?” Bonbon asks you.

“Um, actually you guys. I really did only come to talk about something important. And since I guess Lyra is gonna find out anyway, it’s about Chrysalis.” You decide to just flat out say it. You didn’t have time to play a few rounds of ‘Go Fish’ and you didn’t want to seem dodgy either, especially around Bonbon, who’d probably figure out you had something to hide.

Bonbon just hides her head on the arm of the couch and shakes it from side to side “Oh good, here we go again.”

“Oh wow, Anon. Erm, I’m kinda with Bonbon on this one. Not that any of us should hate our good friends and all… It’s just she’s not really good at all. Didn’t you say she had the look of vengeance in her eyes when you last saw her?” Lyra says, her cheerful demeanor changing to that of worry the moment you said those words.

You figured you’d get these reactions. “Sorta, yeah. Look, I already know how you both feel about it. I know I should drop it, but there’s been an update recently that kind of plays into my favor… maybe.”

“Wha? An update that plays into your favor? Anon, did you run into her recently?” Bonbon asked as her raised. She hopped off the couch and slowly approached you, awaiting your answer.

“Not really, look, let me explain…” And so you explained. From what happened at the test to what Scrappy revealed to you and Scootaloo. Needless to say, it worried Lyra. But Bonbon, she was deep in thought about it.

“Hmm, so that's what you meant. She’s solely focused on you, either as a reluctant protector or a rider of vengeance. Which means she won’t make a move until she has your undivided attention.” Bonbon says as she ponders your words.

“Wow, really poetic Bonbon! But uh, what does that mean exactly?” Lyra replied, ignorant to what Bonbon meant

Bonbon shrugged, with an awkward smile on her face as she raised her hoof to explain. “It means Anon is in a better situation than even he may have realized.”

Better situation? “I mean, yeah if she’s protecting me. But I’m kind of stuck on what to do if she just wants to destroy me. I want to find at least one more way to convince her to the side of harmony, but until I know what she’s actually doing, I can’t make a move.”

“And I mean yeah no matter what she’s doing. Look, Anon, you have to realize you’re at the advantage here. Don’t say a word, just let me explain.” She says as she puts her hoof to your muzzle before you can retort. “You have to realize that you have a ridiculous advantage with that horn of yours. Really, if you use it properly, she can’t touch you. She doesn’t have her hive nor does she have home advantage, meaning she’s pretty weak on the power scale right now. If Scrappy’s intel is correct, it means, at the worst, she’s going to try to destroy you. But here’s the beauty of it! How can she when you actually outrank her in power? You just need to be dutiful with your horn and have it prepped at the ready at any moment’s notice. Which, unfortunately, comes the part you might not want to hear…”

“Wha? Bonbon, are you saying Anon should actually put himself in danger? Isn’t that the opposite of making sure he’s safe?” Lyra asked, still lost on the whole matter. “I mean, what if she hypnotizes him? Then what?”

“No, I’m pretty good at resisting her hypnosis. And, I…” Huh, how did you not realize you outpowered her that hard? She didn’t have an anti-magic throne or an army of bugpones anymore. She can’t even remove your horn from your neck in any way. You could totally take her one on one if she tried to take you down. But then, what did Bonbon mean by 'you might not want to hear…’ “Guess I can outmatch her. But, what do you mean by not wanting to hear?”

“Anon, Chrysalis is dangerous and has committed crime and crime across Equestria. She wants to conquer us all and use us as food… At least, that’s what we knew about her before she lost her children. The part you may not want to hear is that you’d have to give Chrysalis an ultimatum. Either harmony, or Tartarus. You have to realize that even if your friendship with her was genuine, she was still trying to stall for any time she could borrow to try to make her plans come to fruition. If you can’t convince her now, then there’s no convincing her at all. She still has the potential to be dangerous, Anon, to any and all ponies. Letting her go after having your chance at her at this point is just outright stupid. Do you understand?” Bonbon gives you a sagely yet demanding stare, hopeful that you understood what was at stake.

Your ears droop as memories of Celestia basically telling you similar shit filled your head. Sure, Bonbon wasn’t forcing you, and if anything, made you realize you have quite the advantage in the situation as a whole. But there was that whole ultimatum thing again. Then again, if Chrysalis had lost a few of her marbles due to the loss of her children, it really may be the final chance you’d get. You look to Bonbon, and give her a more determined nod as you quickly come to terms with the situation. One chance, because letting her go would do nothing at this point. “Alright, I understand. But just so you know, I don’t want any lip if I manage to do it.”

Bonbon shook her head at you “You won’t have any lip from me. I’ll be happy for you actually. Heck, she can’t even really trick you either, given she’ll transform like the rest of the hive if she accepts your offer. She could fake it, sure, but if your Dad could lock up her abilities to transform at her own will, then so should you. It’d make it easy to tell then.”

“Wow! Bonbon, that’s true!” Lyra sat and clapped her hooves together for her friend “Amazing as always!”

Bonbon takes a bow to Lyra’s words “Well, I may not be good at ‘Doctor’, but I’m good at my job, which includes figuring out all the possibilities. So, Anon, you’re alright with all this then? You’re not just going to tell me you are, and then back down from it later, right? I mean, you’re still free to try it your own way, I won’t stop you. But I just want to know, honestly, what you plan to do.”

“Unless something else opens up, it looks like all I can do is confront her when she makes her move. I really hope she just wanted to protect me, it’ll make it a lot easier then. Thanks Bonbon for the ideas, It’ll help me figure out what I want to say to her.” You move in close, and give Bonbon a gentle hug.

“Just let her know what’s in your heart, alright? If she’s really your friend, she’ll make the right choice.” Bonbon says, as she returns your hug.

Lyra got teary eyed, she sniffed as she wiped her cheek with her hoof “This really hurts, y’know? You’re both besties, but you can’t be friends because of something as silly as good and evil.”

“I wouldn’t say silly. But the situation could be better, I know I’d have a hard time with my feelings if you suddenly turned out to be evil, Lyra.” Bonbon said, the philosophy of the situation making her wonder what would happen if she was put in your situation.

“Ohh…” Lyra’s ears folded as she frowned, looking to Bonbon with hurt in her heart “I feel the same way. If you were evil, I don’t know what’d I’d do. But I’d do my best, I’d never let anypony hurt you until I could show you the goodness of friendship again.”

Bonbon let out a melancholic chuckle “I appreciate that, but it just goes to show that Anon is gonna have a harder time than even I made it out to be.” She then looks to you, and sighs “I guess I can’t really blame you if you let her get away, but just try not to let her take advantage of you, alright?”

You nod, at least they both understood how hard it really was. “I promise. Thanks guys, I really needed this.”

“Aww, Anon, it’s no biggie. You’re our friend! So we’ll always do our best to steer you right!” Lyra grabs you, pulling you in with her magic, in which she then snuggles onto you gently. “No more worries, alright? We know you’ll manage it! So cool your head, and come play a game with us! We can talk about your whole wedding thing! It’ll be fun!”

“Well” How could you resist the company of this cuddly mare? Though, her mentioning the fake wedding did make you feel bad you were enjoying her affection a little more than you should. “Ok, but just one game. I still have something else I gotta do.”

“Well, I guess I’ll grab the cards then, a few drinks, and a small flask of water for you to use. Just give me a sec.” Bonbon says as she walks off to her room.

You probably needed this anyway. You needed to destress before talking with Starlight and Trixie, didn’t want to be all strung out before Discord’s little show after all.

Well, your visit with Lyra and Bonbon went pretty well after the Chrysalis business. Sure, you didn’t win the game, but you all had a rather good time anyway. The three of you also talked further about the upcoming “wedding”, Bonbon even warning you that Chrysalis could make her move during the wedding itself if she was willing to make a spectacle of it. It was something you’d have to keep in mind. You also decided to mention Neighsay, the mission you were given, and how he turned about to be wrong about the changelings’ intentions. Bonbon thought it was off someone like him would even enlist you for help in the first place, but she did agree that if there was some issue grave enough to require spy work, then there might be some legitimacy to his claim. She also told you to keep on your hooves, because despite not having to report your findings, she has heard he does have a habit of appearing all of a sudden in matters that concern him. You kept to yourself, however, your thoughts about him being a possible villain. His appearance is a little too convenient, and it’s possible he might be trying to manipulate you. This time however, be it pony, foal, or changeling, you wouldn’t let yourself be tricked or manipulated.

After the game was over, you made your goodbyes as you left through a puddle spilled from the flask Lyra gave you, you waste no time in setting your door to Starlight’s town. You step through, and head towards Starlight’s home. It was getting dark, so you surmised Discord was probably done setting up by now. Really, he could have had it set up in a second, but he sure does love his theatrics, even when there is no one around to see it.

Not many ponies were out and about at this time. Shops were closing, foals had headed inside, and quiet had began to settle in. Well, quiet for everyone else, because as you neared Starlight’s door, you could hear heavy sobbing coming from the other side. That crying… That was Trixie. I-is she alright? You knock on the door, and make your presence known. “Hello? Trixie? Starlight? Is everything ok in there?”

“NOPONY IS HOME! IF YOU COME THROUGH THAT DOOR, I’LL… UH… TURN YOU INTO A TOAD!” Trixie screamed, near incoherently, before going back to her crying hysterics.

Well then “Trixie, it’s me, Anon! what’s wrong? Why are you cry- O-oh, hey, Starlight”. Your words are interrupted as an annoyed Starlight, with cotton in her ears, opens the door.

“Hey, Anon, Uhhh… You came at a really bad time.” Starlight said, her annoyance in her tone as visible as it is on her face.

“CLOSE THE DOOR! BEFORE THEY FIND TRIXIE!” Trixie screeched

“Trixie! Relax! It’s just Anon.” Starlight barked back at her, before turning back to you, pressing her hoof between her eyes as she groans.

“They? Find? What’s going on? What happened to Trixie?” This was worrying. The hell happened to her?

“She became mayor by default, since everypony else jumped ship. THEN she realized she had a ton of responsibilities. She’s been hiding here crying ever since. Wailing that she’d never be able to hang out with me or do another show again.” Starlight said with a tired groan.

Welp, seems she really had zero policies… or anything planned really. “Considering how small the town is, that’s not really true. Even then, can’t she just opt out like you did?”

“I have tried to tell her that, but then she keeps saying that everypony would get angry and run her out of town.” Starlight says

“IT’S TRUE! IT’S HAPPENED BEFORE! THEY’LL ATTACK ME WITH TORCHES, PITCHFORKS, AND ROTTEN FRUIT! I THOUGHT IT’D BE EASY, LIKE SUBJUGATING AN ENTIRE TOWN TO DO MY WHIM, BUT I WAS WROOOONG!” Trixie wailed from deep within the home.

Well, that’s not exactly how it went, but still, if Starlight and, hell, everyone else can jump out of being mayor… “Huh, does she know others before her dropped the job too? I mean, like, without any repercussions?”

“Yeah, I told her WAGH!” Starlight is suddenly cut off as Trixie climbs up from behind her, and rests her head upon Starlight as she looks upon you with tear filled eyes.

“Are you saying, Anon, that nopony is going to get mad if I just quit?” Trixie sniffled as she clung upon Starlight. Starlight herself just stayed silent through her aggravation as it became apparent that Trixie was now actually listening.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying” Heh, you nearly smiled at this. It was cute looking at Trixie ontop of a standing Starlight like that, especially when you noticed the cute mayoral top hat on her head.

“What a relief, and here I thought I’d either have to leave.” Trixie slides off Starlight, quickly wipes her eyes, and tosses the mayor’s hat upwards. The way she tossed it though, caused it to turn inside out, revealing her usual wizard’s hat right before it plops on her head. “Or crush anypony foolish enough to tangle with the Great and Powerful Trixie”

“Yeah... “ Starlight, again, groans “Because that was going to happen. Well… Uh… Thank you, I guess?” Starlight then whispers sharply to herself “Even though I told you that like a million times” She then shifts her eyes to you, and steps aside “Anyway, come on in, Anon. I could use the extra company.”

“Actually, the reason I came here is to invite you guys to a short but most likely memorable little film.” You say as you hazard a grin. You reach into your saddlebag, and pull out two tickets. “I promise the both of you it’ll be worth it.”

“I… Really could use that right now.” Starlight says as she takes one of the tickets and inspects it. Nothing out of the ordinary, until she notices the title “Statue? That’s the title? Doesn’t sound like any movie I ever heard of.”

Trixie approaches you as well, taking a ticket to inspect for herself. “Obviously it’s an artsy type of a film. Not my forte, but Trixie is willing to come if it means Trixie is able to enjoy it with her friends… as long as snacks are bought for Trixie” She says with some snoot in her voice, trying to act above, what she thought, was a boring film.

“Well, it’s a film made by my Dad. The reason I thought of you two is because it deals with him totally humiliating Twilight. I mean, you guys wanna see that, right?” You ask, expecting a double yes.

“Uhhh, not really” Starlight replies, but at the same time, Trixie let’s out a…

“Yes!”

“Wha? Trixie, come on. Don’t you think we’re above that? It’s not worth holding on to an old grudge.” Starlight found Trixie’s answer a little disdainful, she didn’t want to feel like she’d be betraying her reform by going back and hating Twilight.

“Starlight, Starlight, it has nothing to do with grudges. Twilight is still our friend, but you can’t deny that she has this air of pretentiousness and know-it-allery. Would it be so bad to perhaps enjoy watching her have a bad moment? I’m sure it’s nothing too terrible.” Trixie says as she hangs her hoof around Starlight’s neck, giving her a smug grin.

“I dunno… Don’t you both think it’s kind of mean?” Starlight says, hesitant still to take the tickets.

You shrug “I mean, Trixie is right. Besides, I heard Twilight say kite flying was dumb. Off topic, I know, but I was like ‘Man, there she goes, being judgemental again’.” This of course was a lie, but you knew Starlight did love to fly kites when she got the chance.

Starlight’s eyes narrowed as anger flickered on her face. “Hmmmnn, I guess Trixie does have a point. And I’m not just saying that because of what Twilight said. It’s just I’ve been in a bad mood and need a good laugh.”

“Then it’s settled! To the Ponyville theater!” Trixie points forward, until looking dumbfounded about what she just said “...Uh, how do we get there?”

“I doubt it’s even there, Trixie. I’ll go get a cup of water. Wow, it’s been awhile since I’ve been to your house, Anon.” Starlight turns around to venture into her kitchen to fetch a glass of water.

“His home? In the Dimension of Chaos? How do we even get there?” Trixie asked, confused about the whole thing.

“Oh, you’ll see. Trust me, Trixie, it’s gonna be cool.” You say with a smirk.

And so, through your usual puddle antics, you lead the two mares through the portal and into your room. Upon entering your room, you hop off your bed to let Starlight through, and then Starlight hopped off to let Trixie fall.

Starlight herself took a look around, and began to feel a little more calm with the change of scenery. “Just like I remember, I thought you were supposed to be chaos based. I would have expected some kind of change by now.”

You shrug as you go over to your alarm clock. “Eh, rather not want to deal with anything crazy when I usually just use this room to sleep and portal through to somewhere. Hey, Starlight, have you seen my alarm clock? I know you have an interest in human tech, and this baby is a bonafide digital clock.”

“Digital clock? Huh, well, it certainly is telling the time like any other clock, But I don’t hear any clicking noises. I assume it doesn’t have any gears.” Starlight said as she approached your dresser, and used her magic to hover over the clock for a closer look. “FM? AM? I mean, I know what AM is… But what is FM?”

You chuckle, feeling rather cool despite the object itself being rather mundage. Impressing ponies with stuff like this always made you feel smug. “It works through electricity and a bunch of doodads and… chips… Erm.” Shit, you actually have no idea how the clock actually works. “Erm… Ahrm, anyway. AM and FM are actually to pick up radio stations for when you want to listen to music or the news. But, well, can’t work unless there are radio stations to transmit that.”

Starlight lets out a light hearted chuckle “So half of it is worthless, and the other half, you don’t even know how it works. It’s cool to have it tell everything by the exact number, but we already have alarm clocks already. Still, I do want to take it apart to see what makes it tick” Starlight snickers at her own pun, then looks around for Trixie “Hey, Trixie, what do you… Trixie?” She was nowhere to be seen.

But she could be heard. Coming from your bed were giddy sounds of happiness and giggles. When you and Starlight took a look, you both could see Trixie snuggling on your blankets, turning left and right on your pillow with glee “Mmmm~, This is the warmest, most snuggliest bed Trixie has ever had the pleasure to lay on! Ohhh~, Starlight! You have to hop on and try this!”

“Erm, I already have. Trixie, are you alright? I know the bed is extra comfy but, you’re acting a little weird here.” Starlight said, confused and surprised by Trixie’s reaction to your enchanted bed.

“Starlight, you need to understand that while my wagon is the most magnificent wagon that has ever existed ever, sleeping in it most of the time makes you kind of wish for something like…” And she hugs and snuggles onto your pillow as she longingly says “thiiiisss~. Anon, Starlight! Come on! We gotta have a quick nap on this thing!”

Ohhhhhhhhhhh, OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Did she just…

You blush quite a bit as your ears fold, that sounded like an amazing idea. You, sandwiched between two beautiful mares on a nice warm bed. Trixie Lulamoon, she truly had some great and powerful ideas.

“Trixie, don’t be silly. If we take a nap now then we’ll miss the show. Besides, don’t you think it’s kind of weird for all of us to sleep on Anon’s bed? Seems a little rude to me.” Or what she actually meant that it was incredibly awkward, she also knew how you’d take it, given she knew the truth.

Trixie turned to the both of you, giving you both bedroom eyes as she laid on her belly, rubbing her right hoof along the top of the bed. “C’mon, it’s just a little nap. Please? It’s sooooo comfy! Hyaaaannn” Trixie rolled on her back, cuddling on the blanket, her tongue out as she enjoyed the soft warmth of the bed.

“Um, I actually agree with Trixie. I mean, you can lay there, Starlight. And Trixie here…” You point to either side of the bed for each of them. “And I can lay in the…” But you are stopped the moment Starlight’s horn glows, her eyes giving you a horrible and threatening glare of death. Indeed, she knew what was up. And she knew you enough to know what you really wanted. “Seat, at the theater, which uhhhh, I agree with Starlight that we need to go to. So, Trixie, if you please…” You say with a shakiness in your tone, sweat coming down your brow. Starlight usually was tolerant of your bad habits, but she really hated when you did or even implied such things.

“Poo, you’re both no fun. Very well, Trixie will comply and follow you to said theater.” Trixie says as she finally stands, and hops off the bed.

“Yeah, it’s down through here. So, all you gotta do to get down the floor door is to-” But you are cut off as you hear Trixie shout out…

“After I see what is behind these blinds! For Trixie is sure…” And when she opens those blinds, those forbidden blinds, she is met with the horrifying sight of a smiling, one eyed, orbular beast. Looking at her as if she was a delicious treat. “...That there is something that will cause Trixie to have to change her sheets for at least three weeks… GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HELP!” Trixie rushes backwards, opens the floor door, and falls through, yelling as she falls down before she lets out a painful grunt from landing on her head in the living room below. Huh, given she was now nearly out and seeing stars, it made you kind of happy you’ve developed a huge resistance to head blows.

Starlight too looked to the creature both in awe and in fright. “A-Anon, is that? I-is that the old changeling captain you mentioned?! YOU ACTUALLY KEEP HIM RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW?!”

You shrug as you approach the window, nonchalant about the whole thing. “More like he just hangs around because he has nothing better to do. Heck, I attached the Storm King’s living head to his butt to give him somepony to talk to and he still complains.”

“Of course I still complain!” His smile breaking into that of annoyance “I have a world to rule and changelings to corrupt! As for my ‘new’ friend, he’s annoying again! He was crying earlier today, whining about how he’d be like this forever. What a wimp. I say that fury and rage just fuels ambition. AND I’M ALREADY FULL OF IT! SO LET ME IN ALREADY!” He shrieks.

You then point to him “Starlight, meet X-Captain. X-Captain, meet Starlight. I told you about her, y’know, she’s the one who got further than any of you did when it came to defeating Twilight.”

“Huh? Oh, right. Hi!” He suddenly calms down as he waves his tentacles at her, grinning.

Starlight reluctantly grins at him as she waves back “Um, hi?”

“A little meek, are you sure she nearly crushed Twilight?” The X-Captain said, looking rather confused.

“Yep, and she was on her way of bending time and space to finish the job too. Yup, she’s pretty powerful.” You say, still calm, still rather cocky about it.

“A-Anon, what are you…” But you hush Starlight by raising your hoof, before looking back at the X-Captain to await his reaction.

“Time and space, you say. Hmmm, interesting. Yes, quite…” He murmured to himself as he rubbed the underside of his form with a tentacle. Suddenly, his yellow eye turns red with rage as he screams “HOW DARE A PONY COME UP WITH A BETTER PLAN THAN MINE! HOW DARE SHE NEARLY DESTROY EVERYTHING IN ONE FELL SWOOP! THAT’S MY PLAN! THAT’S MY LIFE! HOW DAAAAREEE SHHHHEEE!” The X-Captain was in a pure rage as his tentacles wiggled around violently. He locked his eye onto Starlight, and flew back a few meters. Suddenly, without warning, he let out a mighty war cry as he flew at lightning pace towards the window, smashing his head upon it. However, the only result from that was a defeated whiny moan before falling unconscious. He rammed himself so hard, he conked out.

“Finally! Sheesh! Been waiting for him to shut up all day. Guys like me, you know, the guy with REAL brains, needs some quiet to plot out his plans.” Said the Storm King, talking from the backside of the fallen beholder-esque creature.

“Don’t think too hard, or else you’ll pop yourself like a pimple” You say with a snicker.

“Why you little-” But the Storm King is unable to let his voice be heard as you close the blinds, and let out an accomplished sigh.

“Ahh, that was fun. You have fun, Starlight?” You look to her with a cocky grin. At this point, you considered this subtle payback for her not letting you get your cuddle on.

“Yeah… Fun…” Starlight said, with worry and confusion in her tone as her right eye twitched from the ridiculousness that she witnessed. “I-I mean, I’m not going to have nightmares about that. But, erm… I don’t… I, umm… I don’t know what to even consider that, and may need a therapy session or two to figure that all out.”

“Probably… Anyway, we should go check on Trixie before she goes exploring the house.” You mention as you head to the floor door. “You remember how to get down these steps, right?”

“Yeah, but… What’s wrong with the rest of the house?” Starlight asks, afraid of what your answer could be.

“Well, one room I think is a flooded aquarium. And I think Discord may have or may have not taken out this train fire that started a while back. Could be bad if she stepped into it” You mention, nonchalantly

“...What do you mean ‘a while back’ “ Again, Starlight asks with a worried tone

You shrug “Um, around the time I got here, I think.”

Starlight’s eyes went wide as her voice became ever so fearful “Y-yeah, l-let’s go make sure she hasn’t wandered off. Ahaha... ha.”

Trixie however, was still on the ground, dazed from her fall. You, and especially Starlight, were able to descend from the stairs with ease, relieved to see Trixie still in one piece. “Trixie, you alright? Um, should have warned you about the whole invisible stairs thing. It’s all in the mind and-” But you are interrupted when she suddenly gets up, and starts to shake you in the air with her magic.

“WHY WOULD YOU KEEP A PET LIKE THAT?! HOW DO YOU EVEN FEED IT?! WHY WOULD YOU LIVE IN A PLACE LIKE THIS?!” Then she notices the stairs in the corner of the room “WHY DO YOU HAVE STAIRS THAT LEAD TO NOWHERE?! WHY WOULDN’T IT GO UP TO YOUR ROOM?! WHY, ANON, WHYYYYYYY! THIS IS A MAD HOUSE! A MAD HOUSE!” Trixie bellowed in pure fear as she shook you about.

“Trixie! Trixie, calm down!” Starlight used her magic to pull you away from Trixie’s grip. “This is Discord’s house, remember? Nothing is supposed to make sense. You’re just going to stress yourself out if you keep panicking like this”

“Starlight! We’re at the mercy of this home! How do we even get out of here?! Where even is the theater?!” Trixie said frantically as she tries to stay in the center of the room, looking around for anything hazardous that might strike.

“Yeah… Anon, where is the theater? Is it down over there? Where that hallway of doors are?” Starlight asks as she gently puts you down, and dusts you off with her magic. She then leans in and whispers “Kinda need to know as soon as possible before Trixie loses it.”

“Uh, whuh? Ugh” You shook your head to get your senses in order. Christ, Trixie can shake damn hard. “O-oh, yeah, the theater is down there.” You point to the trap door next to Trixie “In the basement.”

“The basement? As in…” Trixie looks over beside herself, and sees the trap door. She gulps, and points to it before carefully lifting the door. Her eyes then go wide when she sees a set of stairs heading down into a cavern below. Though it wasn’t dark like it usually was, as a cavalcade of lights shone through the threshold. You could even hear the sound of distant music coming from below. “Wait, it sounds like there's a show going on down there. Hmmm…” Trixie began to calm herself as the way down seemed welcoming to her, as if she could see a place welcoming to her. “Well, it doesn’t seem that bad, especially when compared to what you have floating outside your window. Erm…” She then becomes a little nervous as she thinks about her next words “There’s not going to be any crazy surprises down there, right?”

You shake your head “Probably not. When it comes to Twilight, Dad wouldn’t waste any time trying to get to the main event. So, yeah, should be ok to go down.”

“Alright then...Ahrm.” Trixie then looks to Starlight, and gives her a meek smile “C-could you?”

Starlight nods, giving Trixie a warm smile as she steps through the threshold of the door and down into the depths below “Don’t worry, Trixie, I’ll take point.”

“A-ah, thank you, Starlight. And, Anon, although Trixie feels she can handle it on her own anyway… Erm…” She then shoots you a meek smile as well “Would it be too much trouble to cover my rear?”

Heh, of course. “It’d be an honor, oh Great and Powerful Trixie” Not only did you feel those words would help her mood, but it also meant you could check out her butt for a bit.

Trixie, hearing those words, couldn’t help but put on an arrogant grin. “Thank you for the kind words, Anon. It’s good to know you recognize my true power. Now please, follow Trixie.” And so, Trixie went down, following Starlight.

As the three of you went down, you simply could not shift your focus away from Trixie’s rear. It looked pretty soft and flexible to her hind legs. Oh, so juicy… Dammit! Why is everypony so damn sexy! How is anyone supposed to be monogamous when everyone is so damn hot!

However, your thoughts, and indeed everyone’s thoughts fade away once you reach the bottom. Standing before you all was a modern looking grand theater that looked chinese by design. Huge golden Discord statues sat side by side near a golden arch entrance while discordant music filled the air. Different colored lights shot out of every which way from the building itself as a red carpet was laid out to you all, from the stairway to the doors that lead inside. “Oh, wow, he really went all out.”

“Amazing! I wasn’t expecting this. I gotta hand it to Discord, he can pull off some pretty amazing visuals when he wants to.” Starlight said, stunned by how amazing everything looked.

“Finally, something normal, if quite stunning and… Hmmm?” Trixie looks to her right to see an odd wagon she’s never seen before. Sleek, black, modern, and out of this world. “What kind of wagon is this?” Trixie starts to approach it, noticing it didn’t really seem able to lug things around or be lived in “Is this one of those fancy wagons for rich ponies to be picked up in? It’s really weird looking.”

When you look to see what caught her eye, you immediately feel a sense of shock when jolts you ahead of Trixie to stop her from getting any closer “Trixie, wait! Don’t worry about this wagon, alright? It’s off limits to everypony but me, I’ve been taking care of it and it means a lot to me.” Of course, this wagon actually happened to be Chrysalis’s car, a car you have kept in perfect condition since she left. You didn’t really have to, but the car symbolized the one time you and her worked together to save the world, even if this wasn’t the world you both ended up saving.

Though, Trixie’s next action came to an even bigger shock to you than her approach to the car “I see. Well, I can totally understand that actually. A wagon can be like a friend, a home, and family all at once.” Trixie gives you a gentle headpat as her words became softer and more sincere “It also looks really unique, I can see why you take care of it so well. And, well… now that things are more calm. I kind of want to apologize for how I was acting earlier, the situation just slipped away from my hooves for a moment. A moment I hope nopony but the three of us will ever know about.”

Trixie, wow, you did not expect her to respect your wishes like that. It caught you so off guard that you couldn’t be cocky about how she didn’t want others to know how she got scared of your house. “Yeah, it’s no problem. Thanks, Trixie. Anyway, let’s get heading along inside, we got a show to see, and I want to see what it looks like inside. Dad really seemed to want to wow us with this stuff.”

“I noticed, I almost want to ask if he could set something up for me and Starlight. Just Imagine it. Lights, blaring sounds, fireworks, a grand stage, adoring crowds, a beautiful venue, and the most important piece of them all! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!” Trixie loses herself to her grand thoughts, and raises herself up on her hind legs to announce her final words.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Trixie. Knowing Discord, there’d probably be some horrible trick to it. I have to admit though…” Starlight puts her hoof on one of the Discord statues, and gives it a rub. It felt like real high quality gold to her. “If he could keep it straight, it would be one heck of a show.”

“It wouldn’t be a trick, I think. More like it’d be all about him. If it’s one thing Dad likes just as much as his tricks is himself. Only thing that trumps that is Aunt Fluttershy and myself… Mostly myself. Anyway, let’s head on inside. I wanna see if the inside matches the outside.” You say as you open the large doors to the inner sanctum to the theater.

And inside was quite glorious as well. The main lobby had fountains on either side, with giant marble statues of Discord that spewed water from their mouths. Banners with the large letter D hung in rows leading deeper into the lobby. The carpeting was soft, and almost comfortable enough to sleep on. And movie posters like “Gone with the chaos” , “Me, Myself, and More of Me”, “Grumpy Old Draconequus”, and “My Little Discord: Disorder is Hilarious” plastered the walls. There was a single hallway that led deeper into the theater, but it was blocked by velvet rope. Beside the rope was Discord himself, in a red suit, behind a ticket booth.

“Ok, all this set up just to show off him tripping up Twilight? Heh…” Starlight let out an impressed little giggle “I kind of feel honored to be here, he didn’t have to do all this for us.”

“Yeah, if he’s doing all this then he really REALLY wants us to enjoy the show. He’s gotta have something really good for a set up like this” Really, it could have just been a couple of seats and some popcorn. It was obvious he had something big up his sleeve. What the fuck did he do to Twilight to have Rarity bring her to the spa? Or suspect you for ‘something’ for that matter.

“Well, what are we waiting for then? Let’s get go- Hmm? Mmmngh!” Trixie, obviously just wanting to get to the main event, found herself unable to lift the velvet rope. “Stupid thing, why can’t I lift it?”

“Ahrm…” Discord brought his talons to his mouth as he coughed. “Tickets please… No tickets, no access. That is the rule of this establishment.”

Simple enough, obviously Discord being Discord. So all you have to do is turn in the tickets and it’ll be fine. You had yours, so you walk up to the booth, and slide it over “Here, Dad. Want to do everything all classy and official, huh? What are we in for?”

Discord started to sweat as he murmured in fear “Oh no, it’s the boss’ kid. He’ll fire me if I screw this up. Ahrm…” He suddenly calms himself as he smiles awkwardly at you “Ah, erm. Well, you must have me confused for somepony else, clearly superior pony child. As for what is in store…” He snaps his talons, raising the velvet rope. “Come in, and see.”

“Superior wha?” Did he just call you a superior pony child? Well, you were superior, but wut? He wouldn’t ever say that straight out unless he felt terrible about something, or he was in a caring mood. Unless… Ooohhhh, this is part of the act. Haha, probably another Discord at the concession stand, and the manager is your Discord. He really IS going all out then. Best no to spoil it for him.“Yes, right. Thank you, I’ll do that.” You wink at him, but all he does is give you nod. You look back at the girls as you pass the velvet rope “Just give him your tickets, girls. And you can step through. ”

“Why can’t we just step through now? Seems kind of silly just to give him the ticket when we were invited.” Trixie says. She then raises her head high, and snorts from her nose as she speaks arrogantly. “Considering how important I am, I should just be let through. I am a mayor after all.”

“Oh? So you DO want to be the mayor then?” Starlight gives her a slick grin as she passes her ticket to Discord. “Or did you forget the responsibilities of being a mayor again.”

Trixie suddenly buckled to those words, then turned her head with a “Hmph” as she pulled out her ticket. “I-It’s not that, it’s just that this place gives off this feeling of importance and I… Erm, just wanted to feel like a V.I.P., that’s all” She slides her ticket over, and passes by the velvet rope. “I have been doing my shows for a very long time, and I guess I just wanted to feel important. Especially in a grand place like this.”

Starlight smiled at her friend, and gave her a gentle nuzzle of her head. “I know, you just got caught up in how nice everything is. Just relax, Trixie, you’ll have your day, and I’ll be right there with you. For now, let’s just enjoy the night and watch the movie. We came as Anon’s guests, so we should act more like it.”

“Right… Right… Can’t let myself get caught up in the glitz and glamor. Ok, I’m calm. I apologize, Anon, if I made you feel uncomfortable at all.” Trixie said, as she finally calmed herself. You couldn’t blame her for acting like that. She must have heard you being called ‘superior’, and wanted to feel the same way.

“It’s alright, no problem. You just got overwhelmed by this place. Heh, but if you’re still feeling tense, then I know a way to calm you down.” As you three walked down to yet another lobby, you could see a set of double doors leading to the viewing room. And just before it, was a gigantic concession stand filled with popcorn, drinks, candy, snacks, chips, and another Discord, garbed in simpler clothing and a popcorn hat, standing behind the counter. “Snacks! Oh… OH WAIT, IS THAT!?” Imported soda… From Earth. Oohhhh shit, Discord, you just keep on rocking. “Pepsi! Dr. Pepper!” in fact, there were tons of snacks from earth as well. Hot diggity damn! You couldn’t help but rush over to the concession stand and press your face at the glass.

“Heya Brah, see somethin’ ya like?” Discord said, in a rather unconvincing surfer accent.

You didn’t care anymore, you wanted a smorgasbord of unhealthy eats. “Yeah! Can I get the largest cup of Pepsi you got? Huge tub of popcorn! Some of that hershey’s chocolate! Oh, oh! Elephant ears, Gimme one of them! and that little box of gobstoppers!”

“Sure thing, dude, lemme get it all rung up for you. Lesse…” Discord said as he started to tap at his cash register.

“Wow, so a lot of this is from your dimension, huh? Seeing how excited you are… Um…” Starlight gave a rub of her tummy, as if she was winding her weight “ I guess I’ll make the same order.”

“Coolios, I’ll just add that up. What about you, Mint Fresh?” Discord asked as he continued to press keys into the cash register.

“Mint Fresh?” Trixie looked rather insulted to be called by ANY name rather than her own, but her feelings quickly faded when she realized she was about to mouth off to Discord. So she caught herself, calmed down, and made her order “Trixie will just have some popcorn and a drink. Equestrian-Cola, if you don’t mind”

“Rightyo, Mintz. Ahm, Hmm, Hrmmm…” And finally, the price for everything pops up, and… There was no fucking way he was serious “Three thousand bits, my dude. And that’s with the family discount.”

“You can’t be serious. C’mon, Discord, you’re really going to make us pay?” Ok, maybe he was going a tad too far. That was a huge fucking number.

“Sorry brah, but imported stuff costs more than my skateboards. You’re the boss’ kid n’ all, so ya get the discount. Them the rules, so ya can either take it or order the inhouse stuff.” Discord said as he leaned his shoulder onto the counter, placing his head on his paw as he awaited your answer.

You went sifting through your bag, counting your bits. Sadly, you actually didn’t have enough, nor did you have any charges in your horn to produce your own food. “I only have two thousand” Your ears folded as you looked down, disheartened at the fact you wouldn’t be able to enjoy your treats.

“Ok, Discord. I get this is part of your pretend game, or whatever. But don’t you think you’re going too far? Look at Anon, he clearly was excited to to indulge what you clearly brought over just for him and us to enjoy. Why make him pay for it? Heck, you’re wasting our time by keeping us here. Don’t you want us to see the big movie?” Starlight stepped up to the plate for you, trying to reason with Discord’s ridiculous ploy.

“Sorry, babe, bossman would kill me if he found out I sold his stuff at anything lower than that. Either take it up with him or change the order.” Discord said as he took a look at his talons, inspecting them for dirt.

“Discord! Stop fooling around! You don’t have to be a j-huh?” Starlight is cut off, as Trixie gently taps at her back as she steps in front of the concession stand to face Discord.

“Excuse me, you poor excuse of a… whatever you’re supposed to be. But we are the customers, aren’t we? As in, you do whatever we tell you to do because we are ALWAYS right. Which means give us the food, or else.” Trixie was being demanding. But her words seemed confusing not only to you, but to Starlight as well. Who did she think she was talking to?

“Look Pepz Mint, you’re only a customer if you buy something. So that’s on you. You can’t touch me, I got job security.” Discord said as he crossed his arms, looking down at her with a dismissive look.

“First of all, the name is Trixie, the GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie. Second, you say your ‘bossman’ would get upset if you undersell us your interdimensional food. And yet…” She points directly at Discord, with a loud booming voice “TRIXIE HAS WITNESSED YOU EATING SAID FOOD DURING YOUR BREAK!”

“W-wha?! N-no you haven’t, you weren’t even here to see me eat that box of Nerds!” Discord said as he pointed back at her, angrily.

“Aha! Trixie may have not actually witness you do that, but the GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE HAS MADE YOU ADMIT THAT YOU HAVE! BOW TO TRIXIE! FOR YOU HAVE LOST! PREPARE TO BE REPORTED!” Trixie yelled, feeling triumphant that she had defeated Discord. But then she calmed down, and gave him a slick smile “Unless you have something to appease us.”

Discord raised a talon at first to say something, but then lowered it when he realized he didn’t have a counter. “A-Ahm. Erm… Look dude and dudettes, it’d be radical if you didn’t mention any of this to the bossman, ok? I’ll uh, just pay for it myself here…” Discord says as he opens the cash register, and fills it with his own bits. “And erm… Get your order ready, I’ll even throw in the extra to have it delivered to you before the movie starts. Erm, we square?” Discord said, shaking as he began to sweat.

“We’re square. But don’t you dare cheap out on the butter, or you shall feel Trixie’s wrath!” Trixie threatened, gave Discord a dark look, and then started to make her way off towards the door to the movie room. “C’mon you two, Trixie does not want to miss a second of Twilight’s humiliating defeat.”

You and Starlight were just silent, blinking in shock and confusion. What in the fuck?

“What just happened? Did Trixie… Just beat my Dad?” H-how?! That was amazing, but… wut?

“I t-think she more, outperformed him? I uh… I don’t know whether to be impressed or… scared.” Starlight really was impressed, and yet confused by what happened. Though, perhaps even quicker than you have realized, she managed to figure out that Trixie had, in fact, outperformed Discord. While Trixie isn’t an actor, she still has to play a role and make a show out of it. “Though, now that I think about it. Discord was playing his part to a ridiculous T, and yet she really did outperform him anyway. She played the part of an actual disgruntled moviegoer and got the upper hoof. I gotta applaud her for that, that was really nice of her to do for us.” Starlight slowly began to smile as she tapped her hoof on the ground.

“Yeah, I didn’t expect that. I gotta remember to do something nice for her later. Bravo, Trixie.”

Everything was set up. You were all at your seats, with the snacks brought to all of you as promised. The room itself was rather similar to the one you created for you and Chrysalis for ‘Starship Troopers’, but with a ceiling painting of Discord waving to the audience below. The three of you had chosen to sit in the middle of the room itself so you wouldn’t be too far or too close to the screen. You yourself couldn’t help but stuff your face while Starlight patiently waited for the movie to begin. Trixie on the other hand, was just laying back with a smirk on her face, something Starlight took notice of. “Trixie, you were really amazing back there. Considering how you were up in Anon’s room, I really didn’t expect that from you. How’d you know Discord would give in like that? Was it really just a performance thing?”

Trixie chortled “That’s exactly what it is. I mean… Well... “ At that moment, Trixie’s arrogance lightened up as she looked to the two of you with a gentle smile “I knew he was putting on a show, given how he was at the booth and… well, this entire place, that part was obvious. As for why I decided to step up and outdo his poor acting was because… Because... “ Trixie sighed as her smile became brighter, and more cheerful “He was upsetting my friends, and I couldn’t let that slide. What the hay was with him anyway? Isn’t he supposed to… I don’t know… care about his family and friends?”

“Dad REALLY likes to play the parts he takes on, doubly so if he is using his cloning magic. I can almost guarantee that whatever Discord owns this place would have taken offense too. It’s just how it is.” You say as you take a sip of soda

“Seems like it, the one at the ticket booth seemed pretty worried when it came to you. I guess Discord is just being a gigantic goof. So when does the movie start? Only thing I see on the screen is Discord’s head in black and white” Starlight asked, taking a gentle nibble of a single popcorn puff.

“Well, I’d have thought he’d have previews and such prepped. you know, since he’s going all the way. Either we missed them or he just wants to get to the good stuff.” You mention. It’d be sad if there were no previews, you kind of want to see Discord acting parts in movies you know you have at least seen. Ah well…

“Well, get on with it then. I came here to see Twilight get utterly humiliated, not watch previews.” Trixie said as she grew impatient. And just like that, the lights began to dim as the screen changed, and Discord’s voice started to fill the room.

The screen showed a gigantic X on both cell phones and unicorn horns. “Thank you for choosing the Chaos Theater for your viewing pleasure. Please respect your fellow movie goers by shutting off your cell phones and magical horns, if you please.”

“Cell phones? What are those?” Trixie asked, confused. “They kind of look like one of those taser things.”

“I can explain that. It’s from my world, used to be able to talk to others from almost any distance. But they can be kind of noisy when they ring or when you are talking through them.” You explain. Trixie already knew as well that you were from another dimension. Being a friend of Starlight and yourself kind of meant it’d be ok to let her be in the know.

“Wow, I could use one those. “ Trixie giggled to herself “I bet I could spook Twilight by talking to her while she slept.”

“Actually… you and Twilight would have to have one to be able to do that. It’s like the intercoms and walkie talkies we use in Equestria, just not so close range.” You tell her

“...Mnnn…” Trixie then immediately lost interest, and slumped in her seat “So is the movie starting or not?”

The screen changed to Discord roaring like a lion, within a circle marked ‘Discord Productions presents’. Starlight giggled at Trixie’s annoyance as she began to relax. “I think it is. Well, I’m ready. Let’s see if the movie is as good as all this set up.” Starlight said as she popped a gobstopper. She let out a soft moan as she looked over to you. “Anon, this is pretty good. Is it true it lasts forever?”

You shake your head “Nah, sadly the everlasting part is false advertising.”

“Oh… Ok then.” Starlight then quickly popped half the box in her mouth, and started to gently suck. It then became apparent to you that she REALLY liked the taste.

“You alright there, Starlight?” You say as you notice the screen change to show a loudspeaker that said ‘presented in super realistic and ‘Hi-Def-ening’ quality’. Oh shit...

Even then, she started to pop a few more as her cheeks began to puff up with the candy “Mhmm, ahm pewfewctwy mfine mmm”

“Ok, because the screen just had a pun in it and OH NO!” You cover your ears as the sound suddenly becomes ultra loud for a moment. So loud, glass could be heard shattering around the room.

While Trixie got the same idea you did, Starlight was caught off guard, falling backwards off her seat as all the gobstoppers flew out her mouth and onto her and her mane. When the screen went dim again, things quieted down.

“Starlight?” You said when you looked back to see if she was ok. But she wasn’t, she was heavily annoyed as her mane frazzled every which way. Her fur and mane was also littered with gobstoppers and saliva.

Starlight slowly began to climb back on her chair as she groaned “That was uncalled for…”

But both you and Trixie let out a little giggle as Starlight did her best to straighten her mane. “C’mon Starlight, it’s Discord, remember? You must always be on your hooves” Trixie said, trying to hold back another little giggle.

“Yeah yeah…” Starlight was now pretty damn grumpy, and yet she still popped a few gobstoppers in her mouth, and began to gently suck.

“Starlight, c’mon, Trixie is right.” You say, hiding your smile “besides, the movie is about to start now, don’t let it ruin your mood. If it’ll make you feel better, I can make you more boxes of gobstoppers when I get the chance, You look like you’re pretty addicted to them.”

“Shush… I’m fine, and I’m not addicted to them…” She then shifted her eyes left and right, then whispered “But, if you could get me one that’s actually everlasting, I wouldn’t mind… I’m just saying.”

“Sure thing” Heh, adorable.

The movie finally began, with Discord standing in a spotlight in an empty void, microphone in hand. “Hello Everypony, Anon, and welcome to the show! Now, I don’t want to take too much time getting to the good stuff, but we all know a movie never ever starts at the climax. So, to get everypony in the mood, we’ll be looking through the eyes of Princess Twilight Sparkle herself. Everything you see will be in her perspective, so try not to get confused. Really, it’s the only way to get the best reaction out of all of you. So sit back, relax, enjoy the snacks, and prepare to laugh!” Discord then started rubbing under his chin as the spotlight began to dim “Hm, that almost rhymed, perhaps I can do something with that later.”

And so, the movie opened up in the cutie map room…

“Spike, I just don’t know. You don’t find anything suspicious about that exam or Chancellor Neighsay doing a one eighty like that?” You said, sitting at your chair in front of the cutie map as you nervously tap your hooves on the map itself.

Your trusty assistant, Spike, just shrugged, calm about the whole situation. “I mean, Princess Celestia would have totally told us if something went wrong with that exam. But she didn’t, so there’s nothing to worry about as long as Anon and Scootaloo are ok. Besides, everypony thought it was totally rad! I think it was just a stunt to rile up the crowd. As for Neighsay, the guy probably just realized how important your school really is. It’s not like you’re gonna screw up or anything. You’re Twilight Sparkle, you wrote the book on friendship, literally! What’s he gonna do? Get somepony to spy on some of your future students just to find out one of them isn’t on the up and up? Pfft, c’mon, that’s not gonna happen. One, everycreature that’s coming is doing it to learn about friendship, which has nothing evil about it. Two, even if he did manage to get somepony to do it, it’d probably be some total dunce who wouldn’t know anything about anything. C’mon Twilight, you’ve had a rough day, why don’t you just take a nap and relax? You won’t be able to focus on opening up that school if you’re all tense like this.”

“I don’t know, I really should go and make some final checks.” You said, feeling tense about the quality of your plans for the school.

“C’mon, one nap ain’t gonna do anything to your plans. Besides, how are you supposed to focus when you’re worried about that weenie, Neighsay? C’mon Twilight, it’ll be ok, I promise.” Spike assures you, patting your back to help release your tenseness.

You sigh, and slowly begin to stand “Maybe you’re right, Spike. I just need a nap, that’s all. Then I’ll be all ready to go” You take a stretch, and try to put on a more positive and determined face.

“That’s the spirit, Twilight! C’mon, I’ll even take a nap with you so we’ll both be ready when we wake up.”

And with that, you and Spike made your way up the stairs to your room. You just had to get Neighsay out of your head, he had no reason to do anything suspicious behind your back. And Anon and Scootaloo were ok, so it really wasn’t anything to worry about. When you see your bedroom doors, you let out a sigh of relief and begin to open them. “Thanks, Spike, really. If I put any more thought into all this, I think I might have Poppedagha!? Ow!” When you open the door, and step forward, you find yourself knocking your head onto something hard and falling back on your butt. “Hey! What gives?” And when you look up, you see a peculiar looking purple circle of some kind. It had two legs going down, and some kind of raised lever of some sort, colored in other types of purple. The main circle itself had a familiar two holes coming out of it. “What in the hay is that?” You say as you begin to stand.

“Dunno, wasn’t there before. Did you order anything, Twilight?” Spike asked, looking at with, confused about it’s presence.

“No… I don’t even… What’s it doing?” Suddenly, out of nowhere, a brown substance started to come out of it’s upper hole. You carefully go over to the brown sludge is was dropping, and lower your head to give it a sniff “Chocolate? Hmmm… two kinds of chocolate actually…” You carefully dip your hoof into it and get a glob, and then upon tasting it… “It’s definitely chocolate. Huh… It must be some kind of chocolate dispenser. I’ve never seen anything like it before, do you think Rarity sent it over? Or maybe it was Pinkie Pie, she does love sharing sweets. I kinda wish it’d stop making chocolate though, it’s getting all over the floor.”

“I dunno, something seems really off about it.” Spike stepped inside the room, looking upon what this thing may have been. As for you, you just stare at the other hole, what was that one for? Then suddenly, Spike started to speak out in a timid tone “Uhhhh, Twilight? This is… a statue.”

“A statue that dispenses...Wha!” Suddenly, a yellow liquid started spewing onto your face from the other hole. You haphazardly open your mouth to taste it, then let out a gentle moan when you realize it’s a really tasty and sweet lemonade “Mmm! It also makes lemonade, Spike! And it’s actually kind of tasty, you should try it. Definitely has to be Pinkie Pie.”

“T-Twilight, I don’t think it’s her… I think you should come take a look.” Spike really sounded shocked for some reason, what was troubling him?

You decide to enter your room, and notice that from the side, it really was some sort of statue. A four legged statue in the shape of…. Wait… “Spike?” When you got to the front, you saw that the statue bore a gigantic resemblance to you. However, it looked shocked, frightened, and as if it was trying to get up from a seat. It’s pupils were thin, and it’s wings were spread out frantically. That was… “Is that, me?”

Spike nodded “Y-yeah, and erm… The side we were looking at…”

“The side we were looking at? What does…” And that’s when it hit you. Your pupils shrank to the size of peas as your fur became pale. The yellow liquid coming out of that hole… And as you look at your brown stained hoof, the chocolate was… That was all… This was… This statue was when you thought Anon and Scootaloo were in danger… But you didn’t let loose anything… maybe a little of… but… no… NO! WHAT YOU WERE TASTING WAS!... “DSFDFDFSADSAAGROOOOOSSSDAFSAD” You couldn’t handle it, you fell over, gasping, wheezing, and spitting. “Spike! Spike! H-help... “ You coughed weakly “I can’t…”

“W-woah, hold on Twilight, you said it tasted like chocolate, didn’t you? And lemonade? Erm…” Spike quickly went to the other side to do something out of your sight.

“S-spike… w-what are you doing?” You said, feeling the horrid embrace of what you could only guess was death.

“Um, Twilight. It really is just chocolate and lemonade. It’s really tasty too, actually. I-I know it’s kind of gross, given what the statue is, but I don’t think it is what you think it is. I do think Discord did this though. Oh wait, no, it was him, there’s an inscription here: To Twilight, to use as the centerpiece of your school, your biggest fan, Discord. Wow, gotta say, Discord usually doesn’t do anything this vulgar. Wonder what made him do it.”

You slowly stood up, using your magic to quickly bring every toothbrush and toothpaste imaginable to you. But in your haste, you screw up, and get slammed by a sudden army of mint and scrub. “Gyah!”

Spike ran back to you, and quickly swatted the toothbrushes and toothpaste dispensers away from your mouth. “Twilight, you ok?”

You gargled, spit, then groaned. You felt fresh now, but your face felt like it was hit by a huge wagon. “...mnnn”

“W-well, at least you smell minty fresh. Heheh… But seriously, um. I can tell you’re super upset right now. Um, but don’t worry, I’ll take care of the statue myself. And uh, talk to Discord next time I see him.” Spike, as he said this, looked a little eager to be alone with the statue. He wasn’t gonna eat from it, was he?! As for the statue itself…

You slowly stood up, and wiped at your mouth one more time. “Don’t bother, he won’t listen. Besides, you’re right, it is weird for him to pull off something so… yugh… I think somepony else may have given him the idea.”

“Somepony else? You don’t mean, Anon, do you?” Spike asked, feeling that is definitely what you meant.

“I… mnnn…” Did you really just want to outright blame him like that? Was this his way of celebrating? Was he mad at you again? Or was it really just Discord, who obviously did have some influence from Anon? “I dunno, I’m tired… I’m gonna take a na-GYAH!” Suddenly, the statue started to ‘cry’ without movement, shooting out creamy tasting tears from its eyes. Creamy or not, you once again felt disgusted and full of rage. “THAT’S IT!” You grab the statue with your magic, and throw it through the window and into the lake outside.

“Noooo!” Spike ran to the window and held his arm out “I-I could have made a bunch of delicious chocolate gem cake out of that… wait.” He then turned to you, confused “Isn’t that eventually gonna make the lake into a chocolatey lemonade?

Your eyes twitched as every fiber of your being shook in rage. You ran over to the window as Spike jumped to the side. Using your magic, you pull up the statue right as it hits the water and hurl it upwards with all your might into the sky. You then blast it into a thousand pieces with a powerful bolt of anger fueled magic. “There, it’s gone forever, nothing to worry about.”

“Y-yep, that statue is pretty gone. Um, I think it sent some chocolate and lemonade every which way though.” Spike noted as he saw the explosion.

“Doesn’t matter, everypony can get over a little GYAH!” And with that, some of the choclatey blast fell back and smacked into your face. Your anger had already piqued, so you just felt a sense of a cold and deathly calm as you laid down on the floor “Spike, I’m going to take a nap now. Please have everything cleaned up before I wake up”

“Um, Twilight what about the chocolate on your face.” Spike asked

You were too stressed out and nerve wracked to really make an attempt at cleaning it off “I’ll take a shower later…”

“Yeah, but Twilight, that chocolate is just gonna harden up and-”

“I’LL TAKE A SHOWER LATER!” You shout, before losing all your will, causing you to fall unconscious on the floor.

Spike just sighed, put his claws to his hips, and shook his head. “Good going there, Discord. Sheesh… Well, better get this cleaned up. Gotta find a way to clean Twilight’s face too without disturbing her. Poor Twilight, she didn’t deserve this. Her and the statue version of her. So many chocolate gem cakes…”

The End

The movie was over, and the lights in the room began to brighten up as a loud cackling boomed throughout the room.

“Gyahahaha! H-Help! I can’t! I’m going to fall over! HAHAHAHA! THAT WAS BEYOND THE BEST! HYHAHAHA!” Trixie was in a fit of uncontrollable laughter, twisting left and right in merriment from what she just witnessed “ENCORE! HAHAHA! ENCORE!”

You did have a few laughs yourself, that was really surprising to see out of Discord. No wonder Twilight was suspicious of you, that was a really out of character prank from him. Still, seeing Twilight put in her place was always worth a laugh and she didn’t come out on top throughout the whole thing, a rare thing for Discord to accomplish from start to finish. “Man, that was pretty worth it, right Starlight… Starlight?” When you look over, you could see her hooves to her mouth. Did she not like it? Or worse, did she think it was too much? “Starlight, you alright?”

She was quivering in her seat, mumbling, her eyes watering “A-Anon, I feel really bad… But I also feel like laughing, which would make me feel worse. I-I…” Oh, she was trying to hold it in.

Trixie had fallen to the floor at this point, trying to regain her composure. She was still having a few laughing fits, but not as strong as before. As for Starlight, you get the sneaky idea of just reaching over with your hoof and giving the side of her belly a little tickle, just enough to get her going. Starlight’s own composure cracks as she starts laughing “Hahaha! Nahahat fairahaha! Finehehe! It was hilarhahahaious! I-I hahahehe… mmmm…. Okhehe, I’ve never seen anything like thahat, it was pretty funny…” But unlike Trixie, she regained her composure when some guilt hit her from just enjoying the moment that much. “But she seemed to be really stressed as is. I dunno, maybe she could use some extra help, especially with that school. If she’s that stressed now, handling a whole school will cause her mane to fall out.”

“Whahait, wait… How is that a bad thing?” Trixie’s laughter stops upon hearing that, confused as to why Starlight would feel that much for Twilight. “It seemed to me like she deserved it. I mean, she accused Anon of doing that whole thing, just outright blamed him. That’s not right.”

“C’mon, Trixie, don’t be like that. We’re friends with her, remember? Besides, that is something I’d kind of expect out of Anon rather than Discord. Either way, everypony had fun, but I think Twilight could use a little extra support given how stressed she is. I’ll see about paying a visit to Ponyville when the school opens up, see if I can help out.” Starlight said, as she started to use her magic to gather her snacks into a packed floating entity.

“I dunno about that. I wanted to try to be a professor there, since I’m awesome at friendship. But the best I got from that is a week break at the start and having to survive a whole year through her school before I can actually start teaching myself. I don’t think she’s really keen on having anypony else help out, aside from her close friends.” You explain to Starlight, feeling sure Twilight would refuse her help.

She just shrugs to your words “You never know. Besides, it’s not like I need to take a teaching role. Just something that can help lift the load off the others.”

“But Starlight, if you do get a job there, or whatever… Then what about me?” Trixie’s jovial mood drops as she looks upon Starlight with glistening sad eyes “What about Trixie? I’d be alone…”

Starlight rolls her eyes, and tells her calmly “Trixie, your house is mobile… You could just bring it with you so we wouldn’t be apart.”

“...Oh.” Trixie just looked expressionless as her eyes blinked “Right… Well then... “ Trixie started to yawn, and began to stretch herself “Trixie has had a wonderful time, but she would like to go now and get some sleep.”

“Yeah, it’s probably pretty late at this point. Still, have to admit, this all was still pretty entertaining. I also got to look into whoever that Neighsay guy is, he sounds like trouble.” Starlight noted to herself as she looked down at you “Anyway, thanks Anon, and thank Discord for me when you see him.”

“I will, he probably already heard all the praise and laughter already, so he should be good. C’mon, I’ll take you girls to the portal door.”

With that, you lead both mares back to your room… Almost. It actually took nearly ten minutes to get Trixie used to the idea of using the gravity stairs, something even then, she had no grasp on. Starlight had to use her magic to hoist her up to your room. Something she deemed as “unnecessary” as she arrogantly felt the next try would have been successful. After that however, you said goodbye to the two mares, and promised to see them soon. Ugh, but in the back of your mind, you knew Starlight getting involved might be trouble. Should you have mentioned that you knew Neighsay? Nah, probably not a great idea.

“Wonderful performance, wouldn’t you agree?” You hear Discord’s voice from behind. When you turn around, you see him with a small golden award of himself as he sat at a director’s chair, proud of himself. “It got me a bedlam award! For best picture, of course.”

You chuckled at him “Gotta admit, it was top notch. Good work, Discord.”

“Well, masterful work really. And it’s all thanks to you, the style of prank was directly based off something you would have done had you been more inclined to pull off a dastardly deed or two.” Discord tells you as he starts to shove the statue up his nose “There we go, nice and safe.”

“So that’s why it was so gross. I thought it may have had something to do with that, just the same, it was pretty damn funny. But you’ll probably have to lay off Twilight for awhile, if only not to overdo it.” You caution him as you jump onto your bed and roll about a little.

“Oh trust me, I had my thirst for fun quenched with that one, should keep me going for awhile. Ah, but Anon, on to business. Your wedding is approaching soon and…” Discord stands up, and shoots fireworks from the tips of his paws and talons “We need to make sure your big scene is magical! So here’s what I’m thinking.” Discord starts to lead the lights generated by the explosion on like an artist, forming shapes and scenes to illustrate his words “Everything needs to be less than perfect, so town hall is the perfect venue. However, as I have been informed by Mr. Rich himself, it still needs to play out like a real wedding anyway. Now, Mrs. Rich is dealing with the more boring visual details of the wedding while I handle well… You.”

Wut? “Me? Why just me?”

“Because you’re ridiculous to manage, so it takes one just as ridiculous to actually handle you.” Discord retorts.

“Hey! I just complimented you, let’s not get mean here. Especially since I haven’t been trapped in stone yet for being so ‘ridiculous’.” You say, feeling a little miffed at his attitude.

“Hmph, that’s because you’ve never tried the role of villain yet.” Discord shrugs “You couldn’t even handle the villain you tried to reform.”

You begin to grumble, feeling a tad hurt from those words “Yeah, well, mngh… You didn’t have to be mean like that…”

“Hmm…” Discord moves up over you, and starts to gently pet you upon your head “ I apologize, things just slip sometimes… All the time. But I am being serious, I want this to be a happy time for you, and… For Fluttershy as well, which is why we need a team.” Discord snaps his talons, the lights from the fireworks forge the likeness of three beings: Discord, Scootaloo, and Starlight Glimmer. “And that’s the team. With the three of us at your back, you simply can’t fail.”

Wait, wut? “Scootaloo and Starlight? Why them? Why a team exactly? I think I can handle a wedding.”

“Perhaps you can, but I want to guarantee everything works out for you. Now, pay attention. For me, I’ll have to do an emergency retrieval and fetch Fluttershy. Trivial, but I’ve already guessed she won’t be here in time unless I intervene. Then there’s the gift you plan to give to Diamond. You do have one, don’t you?” He asks you.

“Uhm… I could just get her a diamond ring, right?” You just blurt out, as if muscle memory to how weddings work.

“Excellent idea… except” Discord holds up his talons as they fall apart, one by one “Where are you going to put it?”

Right, ugh… you felt pretty dumb about that one. “Ok, ok, I get it. But what do you get a girl that can afford anything she wants? I mean, I’m kind of the perfect gift now that I think about it.” You grin arrogantly to yourself as you say those words.

“Cute, but a traditional pony wedding requires a gift of some sort. I’d say a rainbow gem would be perfect, given how incredibly rare they are. But then again, we’re going for less than perfect, aren’t we?” Discord says with his own slippery grin.

“So what do you suggest? And don’t you think I should get this gift myself? It’d make it more meaningful, I think”

Discord shrugs at you “True, it would, but it’s not uncommon for those getting married to have help from their friends. Remember, this whole world thrives on harmony and balance and all that nonsense, so what I’d suggest is taking said help, and taking this.” Discord holds out his paw to you, in it was a golden heart locket “Simple, easy to keep track of, and the pictures inside are…”

You take the locket and open it up. What you see makes you smile, as one part has a picture of Diamond, and the other had you. Both of you looking at each other as if you had been in love for years. Considering these pictures must have been fabricated in some way, it should surprise Diamond enough for her to really like it. Still, shouldn’t you really get a gift yourself? Thinking about it… Nah, god only knows you might fall into the trope where she hates it and she shatters all your hopes. You doubt she’d actually do that, but you never know. What you did know though, that if a real wedding happened, you’d need to make sure the gift was meaningful and well earned. “Of me and her… Alright, since this wedding doesn’t matter, then this will work perfectly. But when and if I really get married, I’m going after that rainbow gem myself.”

Discord shrugged, bearing a cruel smirk “Your funeral. Anyway, moving on, let’s talk about little Scootaloo and her duty.” The little bright Scootaloo light starts to circle around, yipping “She’s technically going to be your ‘best stallion’, unless you have any objections. I’m open to suggestions”

Damn, you did need a best man, didn’t you? But Scootaloo is a girl, and… Ugh, who else did you really have other than Spike that was male? Fuck man, you really didn’t have anyone close to you as a partner other than Discord and Scootaloo. “Alright, she’ll work. Wasn’t aware how close things were to human weddings, but she’ll work. But then, why Starlight?”

“She’s responsible! Admittingly more responsible than I am. She’ll be able to make sure you’re prepared, well groomed, presentable, and on time. She’ll bring you to town hall, Scootaloo will wait for you to acquire the locket, and Fluttershy and I will be in the gallery with such hopeful eyes.” Discord says, batting his eyes as the lights in the air disappear.

Wow, he really did care. He was more prepared for this than you were. You get up, and carefully put the locket in one of the drawers of your dresser. “I’m sure Fluttershy is gonna be really happy about all this. Discord, do you really care about this? About everything going orderly, despite your own nature?” You look to him with soft eyes “Do you really care about my happiness?”

Discord groans at you “Ugh, I should have just left it alone. I can’t even do something nice without you asking such an inane question.”

“And yet you’re not skipping out on me this time to avoid the question, nor are you making me owe it to you as a favor. So, I’ll take that as a yes.” Heh, what a guy.

“You said it, not me. Hmmm… Yeah…. Hmm…” Discord just started mumbling, crossing his arms as he looked about. “Anon, we’re still partners, right? If there was some mischief to be had that we could do together, or perhaps a scheme to make Fluttershy happy… You’d be with me all the way, right?”

“Before I answer that, would you say that you care about me as much as Fluttershy? Considering all you’ve done for me, you can’t really say no to that, but you have the option to.” You felt so smug there, so cocky, you knew that unless he wanted to seem like an ultimate asshole, that’d he budge, if at least by a little.

Discord, surprisingly, didn’t hesitate or deflect. Instead, he waggles his talon at you as he smiled more warmly. “We’ve done this song and dance before. You know how I feel. You, me, Fluttershy, we’re family. If anything ever happened to you, or to Fluttershy… Well, let’s not ponder on that. You are important to me, that is a fact. I care about you, and see you as a partner, but you’re also a plaything should I so choose. It’s complicated, but I’m sure you understand by now.”

“I do, gotta take the good with the bad when it comes to you. Still, thanks for the help, and thanks for the show, Starlight really appreciated it too. Seeya tomorrow, and have a good night” You say as you hop back into bed, and snuggle into your warm blanket. Heh, now that you put more thought into it, Trixie was right, this is really nice feeling.

“You as well. And be prepared, Anon, you have a filly to please in a couple of days.” Discord flashes away as you already begin to drift off.

Then again, when you open your eyes, you find yourself in a night sky sort of void.

OH COME ON! WHAT DID SHE WANT NOW?!

The empty void, a telling sign that Luna was inside your head. At this point, Luna never tried to hide her visitations inside your head given you entered lucidity whenever she did. If something was amiss and you were aware of it, then it meant the Lunar Princess was somewhere nearby. But why this time? Dammit, it was getting so tiresome. Why couldn’t she mind her own damn business! “C’mon Luna, I know you’re there. What? Why are you bothering me this time, huh? I already spoke to your sister about Chrysalis, alright? I’m aware of the stakes this time, I’m aware I can’t give her an inch, and I’m aware I can’t falter just because of my friendship with her. Geez, please, just leave me alone about it. I get that I messed up before, but I promise, I have a handle on it this time. She can’t even take me on at this point, I’m more powerful than she is.”

“Anon, please relax” Luna’s voice echoes through the void, a gentle,soothing, and understanding tone vibrating through your ears. “I am aware of the situation, and as usual, I am wary. However, I have come to trust, to a point, in you. That, I still owe you a debt for saving Equestria from the Storm King, something my sister and I should have been able to do from the start. You have matured quite a bit since the first incident with Queen Chrysalis, so you deserve one more chance. As for why I am here, it happens to be two reasons, none relating to what you fear.”

Huh? So, she’s ok with it this time? Well, to a point, as she said. So what was she here for then? “Well, thanks for that, I guess. But if you’re not here for Chrysalis, what are you here for? Is this the fact I’m helping that weird Neighsay guy?”

“No, it’s unrelated to that as well. In fact, I was completely unaware that Chancellor Neighsay had any contact with you at all.” Luna said, her presence to you still a mystery.

She didn’t know? Then she wasn’t even searching around through your head for secrets. A respect to privacy? Or does she only really pry when she feels it’s important. Also, was it a good idea to mention that guy? Actually, maybe it was, since you barely knew anything about him. You could ask for some information, but you should probably keep what you’re doing to yourself, if only not to stir any trouble. “Yeah, he’s been asking me to help him on a few things. The thing is, the guy is a little creepy to me. I’ve never even heard of the EEA or anything like that, do you know anything, Luna?”

“The only thing I know about the chancellor is from my sister has told me. He apparently has a powerful sense of justice, and wishes to protect Equestria and lead those willing to learn to their true potential. However, he is also arrogant, and prejudiced to those he sees as a threat, mostly any being that isn’t a pony. A good pony who seems rather short sighted in some areas, if I do say so myself. But I assume that since he has asked for your help, then it must be something important. I’ll leave that business to you as I am limited on time, and I have come here for very specific reasons.” Luna tells you as stars begin to align into an image of herself. There is then a flash at the epicenter of the gathered stars as Luna appears a few feet away from you in her usual majestic form.

Not that either? Holy shit, you didn’t expect that. And here you were ready to bite her head off the moment she berated you on anything. Ok, good, that’s good. But then, why was she here? “Specific reasons? What do you mean?”

“Allow me to explain” Luna’s horn begins to light up as the starry void slowly changes to that of the Rich Mansion, in Filthy’s study to be exact. However, there were a few key differences, namely in the fact that a large portrait of what appeared to be you, as an adult, and looking quite handsome with a regal position and a nice robe. And yet, why was that there? This was still a dream, it had to be, Mrs.Rich would have had a cow if something like that hung in the study. “The first reason I am here, is to give you a message from young Diamond Tiara.”

Wut? “Diamond? A message? Hold on, that doesn’t make any sense, why would she send me a message through you? What message? What even is all this?” This was already ridiculously confusing. Even more so as you notice an adult version of you, and a… wew, a longer mane’d, and sexy adult version of Diamond Tiara appear on the couch, nuzzling into each other tiredly as if they had a rough day. “Uhhhh, what’s all this… Woah! AGH!” Suddenly, a small filly, that despite a fur color and mane matching yours, showed signs of being in the style of Diamond Tiara, ran towards the both of you in disress. “Ah geez!” You had to rub yourself for a moment as your legs suddenly turned to cloudy dust from contact with the filly. You didn’t fall over, you still stood in place, but it felt awfully weird seeing your legs turn to dust for a moment before slowly reforming back into place. “The hell is going on, Luna?! What is all this?!”

Luna watched as the filly started hopping about in front of the adult couple, watching as they nod and let the young filly cuddle between them. “This is Diamond’s current dream, after I pulled her away from an atrocious nightmare.”

“Diamond’s dream? Nightmare? Wut? What are you getting at? Wait…” You look upon the trio again, watching them cuddle with each other lovingly. “That’s me, isn’t it? And Diamond… and… Wait, this is a dream of the future, or a future she wants. But that’s weird, where’s the castle and royal stuff?”

“Gone, she no longer wishes for such things” Luna says

“What? I mean, I know it was unrealistic in the first place, but this… I didn’t even know about any of this, what happened?” Like, this was one hell of a sudden shift. If this was really Diamond’s dream, then you needed to know the details of what the fuck caused it. Though, it’s not like this was bad, this actually seemed pretty cozy.

“The final exam, it caused nightmares in the little one, fear of something happening to you.” Luna says, in a way that sounded cryptic to you.

“What? The exam? Why would she have nightmares about that? She seemed fine right after it, so what gives?” She was ok, you remember her being alright.

“Ahh, but Anon, I’m sure even you can realize that once excitement and celebration has washed away from the mind that fear and worry can settle in due to how dangerous the situation itself seemed. But allow me to be exact. Young Diamond’s nightmares, they consisted of horrible outcomes for the both of you within the future she felt you both should have. Indeed, watching you nearly meet your end, and that fact you hold the title of ‘hero colt’, had caused her mind to second guess herself on her dreams and aspirations.”

“Second guess? You mean the whole Prince and Princess thing she wanted? I kind of felt she was getting over that, what kind of nightmares was she even having?” You ask

“It appears she still believed that there was still a chance of such a future. But now, due to the nightmares, she has changed her mind on the matter. The nightmares themselves consisted of horrible visions of you meeting your end during a heroic quest, or leaving her for true royalty, such as a more matured Flurry Heart, and even an ever expanding distance between each other due to the duties of a prince.” Luna explains “Her subconscious started to collapse within itself as more and more fears began to pile upon itself. Wars, enemy raids, managing the government and, even being ponynapped only to be rescued suddenly seemed like a torturous ordeal to her. While rescuing her from this was easy, easing her mind was not. You see, Anon, we had a discussion with how royal life is actually like. I had admitted to her that my duties, and my sister’s, does indeed hinder our time together. And, given the times my sister and I have been imprisoned in some way, I had to admit to her that royal life can also be quite dangerous. This dream you see was conjured through rationalization of the future. Just as her own parents have had more time for each other, and for her, she wishes to take the mantle as head of the Rich estate, and live with you in harmony. This is how she wishes the future to be, and…” Luna watches as the apparitions fall asleep peacefully on the couch as everything begins to dematerialize back into the starry void. “To me, seems like a much better future to dream about for the both of you. However, the message to you was to ask if you do not mind such a future as well, as she feels you truly are dead set into wanting such a regal future for the both of you. She didn’t want to upset you, you see. So then, what is your reply?”

THANK FUCKING GOD! Holy shit, the whole princess and prince crap was finally over! Hopefully now she’ll mellow out in general. “I’m not even mad, I’m perfectly ok with this. In fact, tell her that after I saw the dream for myself, I’d like nothing better.”

“Well, Anon, you can tell her that yourself tomorrow. I’m sure she’d like it a lot more to hear it from you than me. In fact, I’d suggest spending some time with her tomorrow, make a whole day of it. Considering your wedding is coming up, false or not, I’m sure it’d ease her mind to be able to spend the day with you, especially after being haunted by such ghastly thoughts.” Luna suggested. And, y’know, that probably wasn’t a bad idea. You had been doing a lot of other miscellaneous shit lately, so why not spend the day with Diamond to let her know you care.

You nod to Luna “Yeah, I’ll do just that when I wake up. But then, what are the other reasons you wanted to see me then? Or was all that explanation the reasons?”

“Well… Actually” Luna gulped, suddenly became uneasy, and even began to have a jitter in her voice “I had been haunted myself from our last meeting… About what you showed me. Never before had I seen something so absurd. And so… Erm… Ahrm.” She just couldn’t keep it together as she tried to get to her reason “I… Normally have myself more composed in any matter such as this… But this matter is rather, off to me. I… Mmmm… Alright, calm down…” She tells herself as she takes a breath, but even as she composes herself, she still seemed nervous “Alright… The other reason, the reason I’m here… That reason… Is… Why?”

Why? Wut? “What? Luna, what do you mean by why? What’s up with you all of a sudden?” Like really, it looked like she thought you were about to kill her or something.

“Yes.. Erm… Why? The Why… The why that is… Why two mares?” Luna finally coughs out “It makes no sense, no sense at all. For what reason would you even dream about two mares doing such… private acts? It doesn’t seem natural to me, and I… I need to know why you’d even think it is! It confounds me!” Luna started to speed up her speech as she seemed rather frantic on the whole thing. But to you? Ohhhhhhh….

Goodie fucking gumdrops, was she serious?! Was she seriously that bothered by the concept of a colt such as yourself imagining two mares fucking each other? Oh, Anon… You simply can’t pass this up, you cannot pass up getting a little something over Luna this time around. It’s too fucking perfect, and you were going to milk it for as long as it bothered her. Ok, she did do a nice thing for Diamond, so maybe you shouldn’t go too far…

Nah, let’s do ALMOST exactly that.

“So you really wanna know, huh? I mean, it’s going to take a bit to explain. So unless you have time to spare, there really isn’t enough time to tell it to you, is there?” Take the bait, Luna. You give her a sinister little smirk as you await her answer.

“I started my duties early enough to extend myself in the pursuit of this answer. I… Probably shouldn’t pursue it, really, but it’s simply too mind boggling to let it linger inside my head.” Luna looked reluctant, yet eager to learn the truth. Well then, if she insists.

“Alright then, I’ll tell you. But really, Luna, I think that thousand year imprisonment may have made your thinking a tad outdated. For a stallion, or heck, a human even, seeing two females do the nasty is very very alluring. How do you not get that?” Just reel it in slowly, Anon.

“If ‘doing the nasty’ refers to procreation, then no, you’re wrong, it’s not alluring. Such acts are of an intimate nature, between a stallion and a mare that have fallen deeply in love with each other. It may be enjoyable, but it also for the purpose of producing a wonderful foal into this world. That is the absolute truth!” Luna nearly yells that last part out in her royal canterlot tone. Clearly she had no concept of lewd and deviant thoughts.

“As true as that may be, you can’t honestly tell me a stallion wouldn’t surround himself in pleasurable company if he was able. Or, in the case of a lavish mare like,say, Rarity, are you to tell me she doesn’t gather the attention of multiple Stallions at once?” You ask her, just throwing out that bait for her to bite into.

“Hmph” Luna holds her head up high, looking down as if she’s figured something out “You seem to be mistaken. It is normal for multiple stallions to attempt to court a mare, with only one usually winning out. Just as well, a stallion who finds himself in such company will always settle for a single mare. Your logic is flawed. Perhaps it’s simply a ‘human’ thing.” Luna was quick to dismiss you, faster than you expected even. Clearly she didn’t want to believe in the notion that a pony would engage in such sexual acts.

“Ah, but is it?” You raise your hoof as your smug levels begin to rise “Sure, you might be right when it comes to courting and stuff. But this is more of the mind, a fantasy, rather than something a pony would be brave enough to actually engage in. But let me put it in a perspective you can get. Ok, so, what do you think of Big Mac? I know he’s in a relationship and all, but what do YOU think of him, and I mean in a way that suggests… Courting.”

Luna froze for a moment, and then pondered. After a few seconds, she nodded to you and answered “He is a strong stallion. Dutiful, loyal, and family centric. I’d say he’s a fine stallion. Where are you going with this?”

“We’ll get to the point in a moment. Alright then, now what do you think of say… Soarin.” C’mon, Luna…

“Of the Wonderbolts? Hmmmm…” Luna, again, began to give it some thought “He can be heroic at times. He’s a little absent minded, but good hearted. Fast, athletic, capable. And a pure enough personality for a mare to know he’d never do anything behind their back.”

“Right. Two stallions you have some interest in, even if hypothetically. Now then, and I’ll be blunt, how would you feel about them fondling themselves?” You hold back a grin that would even put the Grinch to shame.

Her reaction was golden. She nearly fell backwards as her face blushed at the thought. But despite the embarrassed action, she also seemed rather insulted. “Anon! That is more than wrong! Why would they even do that?! What do I gain by thinking such a thought?!”

You shrug “Oh, you know, self pleasure in imagining Big Mac playing with Soarin’s unmentionables for a little bit before they climb onto your bed, cuddle you, lick you all over, and ‘procreate’ with you… both of them…. Possibly at the same time, if you dig that sort of thing anyway.”

Luna’s upper part of her body turned red as her pupils shrank from shock. At first, she was fumbling her words. Finally, unable to take it mentally, she starts yelling in her ‘Royal Canterlot Voice’ “ANON! YOU DARE INSULT ME?! YOU DARE TRY TO PLACE SUCH UGLY AND CONTEMPTIBLE THOUGHTS INTO MY MIND?!”

You shrug again, and walk up to her with the surest as fuck smirk you’ve ever given her. “I didn’t try, I did. Look at you, Luna, you’re as red as a tomato. You’re the master of dreams, right? Are you telling me you wouldn’t partake in such pleasures?”

Luna growled at you as she realized her own increase in body temperature. “You dare mock me…” Her horn began to glow as you suddenly found yourself surrounded by clouded forms. “And yet you do not realize the folly of your own hubris. I have now realized that you only tried to trick me for your own humorous machinations. Well, Anon, I too can play such games. Prepare yourself, for you shall now suffer your own lies!”

Oh shit! Was she gonna hurt you? Cause you terrible nightmares? Oh dammit, she was worse than Discord when it came to taking a… Hold on a second, what’s this? The clouded forms change into the CMC, all slowly approaching you, silently, with bedroom eyes. “What in the...?”

“That’s right, Anon, now it is you who will be red and full of embarrassment! HAHA!” Luna attempted to turn the tables on you, to make you realize your mistake.

You found yourself a little stunned as Applebloom immediately began to nuzzle on your side. Sweetie Belle was gently climbing onto your back, nibbling your ear. Scootaloo was kissing under your chin as she nuzzles you from the other side. Holy crap, now this was tops. Sure, it wasn’t too lewd, but you had three imaginary fillies nuzzling on you… All because Luna still didn’t get it.

“How does it feel, Anon? Do you realize now how unnat- W-why are you looking at me like that?” Luna, so sure of her victory, is caught off guard when you give her bedroom eyes, and beckoned to her with a hoof.

“There’s room for one more, Luna. C’mon, I’d like me some belly rubs” You snicker at her. You had this, you had the advantage, the momentum, and the play of the damn game.

“I… No! It’s… How?! Aren’t you bothered by the fact they are cuddling you? All vying for your attention? You have a marefriend, but even if you didn't, you can only claim one! And yet, not only do you choose all three, but you also want me to join in on this?! It doesn’t, no, it can’t make any sense!” Luna couldn’t process what she was witnessing. At first she was curious, then she meant to beat you out, now she had no clue what to think.

“It’s just a fantasy, Luna. I love my Diamond, but a colt like me has needs, just like you. You can’t tell me a thousand years on the moon didn’t make you a little in the wanting for some male attention, right? Or even…” Something struck you as enlightening just then. This was still your dreamscape, even if Luna was manipulating it. But, given her state, would this give you control? Hmmmm… “Some regal and adorable company”

Luna suddenly jolts when she feels something rub on her side. When she looked, what she saw shocked her. It was an obviously horny Twilight, nuzzling Luna for her attention. “W-what is t-Guh?!” Luna found herself sandwiched and unable to move when she felt something cuddling on her other side. “P-princess Cadance? I uhhhngh!” She suddenly let out a gentle moan when she felt her ears being licked and nibbled upon. “S-sister? Wait.. n-no…” When she felt it, she thought it’d be the whole ensemble of princesses, but it wasn’t. Floating overhead, as if no gravity existed, was Big Mac and Soarin. They both had eyes for her, and had reached their heads down to lick and play with her ears. At this point, Luna’s whole body was red, and she was unable to speak properly.

“See? While I’m not big on guy on guy… Like, at all. It kind of works when there's a beautiful set of mares in the middle, don’t you think? Oh, girls, right there… Oh, Sweetie, you know how to work the kinks out of my back.” As you spoke, you felt yourself relaxed as you laid on your belly, the girls still giving you their attention as Sweetie gently massaged your back.

“En-Eno...Hnnmmmn...Eno…” Luna was letting out soft whines and moans as she was cuddled upon. Every caress on her body was weakening her resolve.

“Eno? Eno what, Luna? You can stop this if you want, I was just trying to prove a point. You get it, right?” God, she was fighting it so hard. You swear, if you could just look at her rear, you know she’d be wet.

“Eno… Ngh… ENOUGH!” Luna bellowed out, a magical burst obliterating all the dreamy phantoms and causing you to tumble back a few feet. After her magical blast, she found herself panting, out of breath from both the release of her magic, and the attention she received.

“Ugh… What was that?” You fell flat on your belly after that tumble. You shook your head, and stood up as you looked upon Luna, who was just panting, staring off into space, and most importantly, still blushing. “Luna, you alright?” But no response. Did you do it? Hook, line, and sinker? You slowly approach her, and tug at her leg “Luna?”

“H-huh? A-Anon?” Luna looks down at you, still shocked from the whole thing as she flinches backwards. But as she started to snap back to her senses. She began to calm down. Though, that didn’t remove the feelings she felt from what she just beared witness to. “Anon… I” Suddenly, she took another step back from you “Your… subconscious aura… I can feel it. You were serious, you really found that… To your liking... “

Did you go too far? Nah, don’t step back now, Anon! Go for the finish! “Yeah, I guess. The other princesses appearing was more for me, really. Big Mac and Soarin was for you. See, the answer is simple, Luna. Stallions like mares, so the more mares, the better. Sure, there’s a proper way of doing things, but you can’t tell me it’s not fun to fantasize such… ‘absurd’ scenarios, am I right?” You give her a gentle nudge to the leg “Eh? Ehhhh?”

“Then you felt it. My horrible desire… For it to continue.” Luna gulped, stunned by her own words and realization. “What horrors have I unleashed upon my own mind?”

Uhhh, yeh… “Yep… I totally… Er… Felt it within you. Totally could tell. So, you get it though, right? Because… Y’know…” You float up to her ear, controlling yourself through your own dreamscape, and whisper to her “I’m into a lot more forbidden things, if you want to have a go. Just a dream, right? You could age me up and everything. I mean, not like I wouldn’t know how to ‘act my age’.”

Luna backed off from you, mortified from your words. “What?! I would never! Could never! Oh no, this was a mistake! The highest levels of indecency! Nopony… No, nocreature is capable of such thought within this realm! I… It… Was merely a moment of weakness!”

“Y’know you loved it” You smooch at her, and giggle adorably.

“I… I... “ Luna began to disappear “Must be going! I… Will not be visiting for quite some time… I…. Must reflect once my work is done this night! I… I…” And then, when she noticed you wiggle her eyebrows at her, her eyes begin to turn a solid glowing white as she yelled “IT’S NOT FUNNY, ANON! THIS IS NOT A JOKE! THIS REALLY IS A THOUGHT ONLY AN OUTWORLDER WOULD THINK OF! AND IF YOU THINK I’LL GIVE THIS ANY FUTURE THOUGHT, THEN Y-YOU’RE W-W-WRONG! I WISH YOU WELL WITH YOUR MAREFRIEND, BUT BID YOU CAUTION TO YOUR OWN MIND! BECAUSE IT IS OF THE HIGHEST REALM OF VILE! AGAIN! THESE THOUGHTS WILL NOT, NOR WILL THEY EVER, HAUNT MY MIND! IN FACT, STALLIONS ARE NOW OF A DISGUSTING NATURE TO ME!”

“So… you’re into mares then?” You dare to ask

“YES! I MEAN… NO! I MEAN! I MUST VACATE YOUR MIND! I HAVE IMPORTANT WORK TO DO, AND CANNOT STAY ANY LONGER! AND AGAIN, THESE THOUGHTS WILL NEVER SHOW UP AGAIN! NOT EVER! FARE THEE WELL, ANON, AS I CAUTION YOU AGAIN ON SUCH THOUGHTS! THE THOUGHTS WHICH I WILL NOT BE IMAGINING!”

You just wave to her, and cheerfully say “Well, in case it does, I just want to say that in my universe, a rule exists that if it exists, there’s an opposite gender version of it. Just saying, the elements of harmony can be really appealing if you give it some thought.”

“NO! THERE WILL BE NO MORE THOUGHTS ON THIS! EVER! YOU WILL NEVER THINK SUCH THOUGHTS EITHER! OR ELSE YOU WILL BECOME RIDDLED WITH HORRIBLE GUILT! REMEMBER! ONE MARE!” She bellows as she nearly disappears out of sight.

“I mean, I guess I can stop when I feel guilty.” You shrug

“OH, YOU WILL FEEL GUILT, ANON! TRUST ME, YOU WILL! NOPONY CAN TRULY BE SO DEVIANT AS TO ACTUALLY FOLLOW SUCH THOUGHTS! I KNOW NOW THAT YOU HAVE ONLY DONE THIS TO SURPRISE AND SHOCK ME! WELL, IT DIDN’T WORK! AND NOW I AM GOING BECAUSE I HAVE NO MORE TIME! AGAIN, I AM NOT SHOCKED, AND NONE OF THIS WILL BE GIVEN ANY THOUGHT. I HAVE SPOKEN!” And with that, Luna disappeared as the stars began to vanish from the void.

When you opened your eyes, you blissfully yawned, and stretched out on your bed. “What a nice dream.”

Though, as good a dream as that was, you now found yourself in some dark chamber, with a window wall leading out into space, and various controls consoles to the sides. Directly in front of you was a small set of stairs that led to a throne of some sort, but it was facing away from you and looking towards the window wall. And despite all this, you were still on your bed. Were you still asleep?

“I sensed a disturbance in the dreamscape, my young apprentice” Said a voice that came from the throne. The throne turned to face you, sitting on it was a disfigured Discord in a dark robe and red glowing eyes. What became even more ominous was some sort of space age stick he was holding, it suddenly emitted some sort of red beam sword from it’s hilt… though it looked more like a spatula.

“Star Wars? Really? You couldn’t do better than that?” You raise an eyebrow as you cross your hooves at the disfigured draconequus. “Gonna take a guess you eavesdropped on my dream, huh? I mean, not like it wasn’t a bad thing for you to do that, considering how hilarious it was.”

Discord started to nonchalantly swing his light spatula around as he leaned back on his throne. “Actually, I didn’t eavesdrop, but you do have my attention.” Discord then gave you a dark smirk “I can only guess you toughened up your backbone and pulled one over the princess of the night, that would be the only way to explain why there was such a sudden blast of magic through the realm of sleep. Well, I’m listening, my apprentice. Tell me of your hilarious, yet not as hilarious as what I did to Twilight, meeting with Princess Luna.”

You let out a soft chuckle. Man, you were going to blow him away with this one. He may have been able to pull off a better than average prank on Twilight, but you PERFECTED the human art form of blowing somepony the fuck out. “Well, hold on to your robes, my master. Because this one is gonna force push you away!”

And so you tell Discord everything that happened within the world of dreams. As you told your story, he started to smile warmly, and even chuckle at Luna’s misfortune. “...And that’s it. Guess we both got to have a grand ole time, wouldn’t you say?”

“Indeed, you have learned well, my apprentice. In fact, I’d say that was NEARLY as good as the trick I played on Twilight.” He then gives you a more intense look before he smirks “We could go for a four pair, if you know what I mean.”

You shrug, as much as you would think messing with Cadance and Celestia would make the day complete, you knew Celestia was a tad sensitive lately and that Cadance would just make your life hell by sending a letter to Twilight. Well, maybe she’d do that, she does seem to have a much lighter sense of humor than her. “Not in the cards, my master. Besides, I gotta see Diamond today, wanna talk to her about a few things.”

“Ah yes, of course, you did mention that. Alright then” Discord throws off his robes as he gets up from his throne and stands, looking battle ready as he holds up his saber. “Then it’s time for action”

“Action? W-WHA?!” You duck your head when you suddenly hear blaster fire coming from behind you. You crawl to the other side of your bed and pop your head up to see lightning clouds shooting some goopy looking shots at Discord. “Ah geez, c’mon Discord! This seems a little dangerous!”

“Hush! Concentrating…” Discord readies himself, then jumps to the other side of your bed as he starts deflecting the shots with his saber, either knocking them straight up, or hitting them back at the clouds, causing them to burst. When the last of the clouds blew up, Discord holstered his saber as he unholstered a plate and held it up, catching the blaster shots as they fell. As it turned out, as they fell, you noticed they were now fully formed pancakes, and that Discord was catching them as a stack. After his last catch, he then holds the plate towards you and smiles “Pancakes are done, here you are.”

When you raise your head, you start to put things together as you take the plate. “That was pretty cool. And let me guess, those were ‘Storm Troopers’, right?”

Discord nodded as he opened the tip of his talon, pouring a small amount of syrup onto the stack. “Yes, quite accurate, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yeah… except for the fact they work for the emperor. What you should have done was have a duel with a pancake pony named ‘Pancake Skywalker’, who literally would walk in the sky.” You say as you start to dig in

“Look at you, criticizing me after such a performance. Well, I’m sorry I wasn’t accurate to your silly space opera. Maybe next time I should imprison myself in a cage and tease your brain with riddles before I eat it.” Discord said, not pleased with your criticism, even hurt about it.

You let out a lighthearted chuckle, you didn’t mean to sound mean, you were just messing with him “C’mon, Discord. I was just joking… Also, that’s not how ‘Silence of the Lambs’ went either. Just relax, alright? Thanks for the breakfast, and thanks for your help, I really really appreciate it” You look up at him with a childish smile, and even wag your tail to add to your cuteness. “You are the greatest, y’know?”

Discord’s look of discontent broke into a small smile from those words as he gave you a gentle pat “I know, I’ve always known. Ahh, Anon, you are good son.” Discord snaps his talons, returning the room to your normal one. “Hmm, if we’re not going to be messing with the princesses, perhaps I can arrange a guy’s night. You’d be up for that, wouldn’t you? Conan?”

“We’ll see, that really is more your guys' thing than mine. But if things go well today, sure, why not? It’ll take some tension away from the wedding, which I’m sure I’ll hear a lot about today.”

“I’ll take that as a definite yes, I know you have the moves to continue to charm that darling filly. But just in case” Discord points at you with his talon, zapping you with a magic that puts you in a business suit akin to Mr.Rich. Your mane even slicks back. “This should help, given her new dream.”

You look at the cuffs at the end of your forelegs, then take a touch of your mane. If it’s one thing you remembered, she doesn’t seem to like your hair like this if she can help it. So, you just muddle it up a bit, then look to Discord with a nod “Heh, didn’t even ask this time. Thanks, Discord.”

“No need to thank me, consider it a small gift for getting one over our dear moon princess. Hmmm, as for me, I realize I can’t just go see Spike due to Twilight most likely still being quite sore at me. I’ll have to see Big Mac instead.” Discord lets out a light and quick laugh “Maybe I’ll go see Scootaloo right after, I’d imagine she’s probably at the clubhouse with her friends right now. Heck, since I’m going to be there at all, I might as well see if Applejack needs my help, I’m feeling right helpful this mornin’”

Ooohhh no, he’s going to far with that thought. “Just stick to the first two, you know how you get when you get too orderly, or worse, really bored.”

“Oh, right, yes!” Discord chuckled to himself “Good idea, Anon. Wow, I really did go too far with that thought, didn’t I?” Discord, with a smile, put his arms to his hips and shook his head “My my my, shame on me. I was this close to entering a series of events that would have ended in flying pigs and a huge tub of apple juice to swim in. Not a bad idea actually, apples do have a great scent! But we all know that Applejack, she’s just as uptight as a wedgie caused by a hot air balloon.”

Wha? “Wedgie caused by a hot air balloon? How does that even fit?”

Discord rolled his eyes at you “Obviously you have never felt your underwear tighten up by the force of an ever rising and very large hot air balloon. That is a perfectly valid countryism and you know it.”

Oh, it was a pun “Alright, alright, you got me. In my defense, I just woke up, not exactly quick thinking right now.”

“It’s alright, Anon, I forgive you.” Discord gently pats your head “In anycase, I’ve got some work to do. Hopefully Big Mac can ask Spike to set up a campaign for us tonight. Again, I’d do it myself, but Twilight is probably still cranky about the statue. You’d think she’d act her age and stop whining, eh?”

You laugh at that, as if! “Twilight can’t even get over a smudge on her favorite book, she’s such a kid. Also, don’t go and smudge her books. Don’t want to upset her too much, she might get so angry she’ll burst into flames and burn her castle down.”

“I didn’t know that was possible, I’ll have to remember that's a thing. Anyway, fare thee well, Conan, we will meet again at camp!” Discord said to you with a bow

“Ummm…” Eh, fine, you’ll do it. “Seeya there, Captain Wuz.” You salute to him as he disappears.

With breakfast done, you get out from bed and open your portal door to Town Hall. You do stop, and take a moment to look around. You felt that Cozy Glow might be around and ready to greet you, but it seems she wasn’t waiting around this time. A sweet filly to be sure, you wouldn’t mind having a daughter like that in all actuality. Very nice and very well behaved.

Heck, your entire walk was encounter free, for the most part. There were a few ponies who greeted you, some seeming star struck seeing you walk about, and the rest of them just being their usual friendly selves. Heh, it made you feel prideful, you are the Hero Colt after all.

When you got to the Rich Manor, you did your usual prepwork of at least brushing your mane back once and standing tall. Ok, maybe messing with your mane was pointless back in your room if you were just gonna do this anyway. Ugh, ya dingus. Whatever, you knock on the door, and wait for an answer.

It didn’t take long for the door to be opened by Filthy Rich himself, who seemed rather surprised by your presence. Surprised, but pleasantly so. “Well, good mornin’, Anon. Looking rather sharp, I see. Don’t suppose you somehow knew I was goin’ to go pick up some cider from the Apple family. Be mighty glad to have you tag along, specially after that training exam business. I’m sure them barrels are nothin’ to you now.” Mr.Rich said with a bright and optimistic smile. Hmm, it may have been awhile back, but you were sure Mr. Rich felt you still may have felt some shame over what happened before, and felt you would be able to handle the work now and pick yourself up over any lingering thoughts. Really? You were way over it by now, and you did want to help him out. But…

“I actually would love to, Mr. Rich. But I came here to see my ‘future wife’” You said with a wink.

Filthy laughed heartily at that “That’s a good one! Haha! Well, she’s with her mother at the moment. Dunno what’s going on really, she suddenly was asking to know this and that about Barnyard Bargains and the way we run things. Makes me proud n’ all, but she’s still a bit too young for the finer points of big business. Still, she’s being really eager, and I can’t say no when she’s got her mind on somethin’. Now that I think about it, it’s a shame you ain’t coming with. Would be fitting with the mares doing one thing while we stallions bond over hard work.”

“It does sound pretty fitting, but I really need to see her about something. Nothing bad, mind you, I just gotta talk to her about a few things. But I’d love to be able to do this with you some other time, maybe you could teach me more about other businesses you have your hooves in. I’m sure that’s plenty important too.” You didn’t want to hurt his feelings or anything, but you had to see Diamond, at any cost.

“Oh, well now. Ah didn’t even think of that. Hmmm, that is mighty important. Alright, I’ll make up a little ole dossier on the subject for next time. But you better take to being all kinds of serious about it, Anon. Our business ain’t no joke. I know I don’t have to tell you that, but if you really want to learn this early, then you gotta take it serious just the same.” He sounded pretty dead serious about the more he spoke on it. He seemed to even realize it as he took a moment to stop and smile once again. “Well, that ain’t anything to worry about now. You have a good day, Anon.” He steps aside to let you inside “Now go and give my daughter a hearty good mornin’.”

“Will do, Mr. Rich” What a friendly guy. Filthy Rich, probably the most honest business pony in Equestria. And a guy you hope to make proud when and if you do actually acquire the business. You don’t want to let him down.

Welp, you were inside. The maids seemed to be busy cleaning this and that, not paying attention to you at all. You start to step towards the stairs in the main hall when you notice a few maids carrying plates of confectionaries down towards Filthy’s study. With Mr. Rich out, it made you wonder who that was all for. So with some curiousness, you follow them into the study.

When you step inside, you could see Silver Spoon lounging boredly on the couch near the fireplace, barely moving when a plate is set on the small table in front of her. At the desk however, were Diamond and Spoiled. From what you could hear and see, Spoiled was guiding Diamond through some sort of ledger for the company. She also sounded somewhat frustrated, as Diamond seemed to be focused but too young to understand some of the things she was mentioning. Should you interrupt and announce yourself? Maybe, for now you’ll walk over to Silver Spoon and ask her in a whisper “Heya, Silver Spoon, whats up?”

“Like, the most boring thing ever…” She says with a low groan. “I wanted to take Diamond with me to find a sorta ok bouquet of flowers for the wedding. But she’s totally doing boring stuff, I don’t even know why. She just said she wanted to learn how to run the family business or something like that.”

Oh shit, she really took her dream seriously, huh. “I see, but why does her mom sound frustrated?”

“Because she was all like ‘Diamond, you’re too young to learn this’. Mrs. Rich also said she only does work when she has to, but the lady of the company usually does all the social stuff. I mean, even I know that. But Diamond? She like, totally wants to do everything her Dad can do all of a sudden. You didn’t say anything to her, did you, Anon?” She asks you, still looking quite bored on the couch.

“Can’t say that I have, but I don’t think it's bad that she’s so eager to learn, even if it is sudden. But if she’s having trouble understanding… Well… “ It was obvious to you now that Diamond must have thrown some sort of tantrum or begged really hard to have Mrs. Rich taking her through some sort of crash course. You even wondered if she could teach her with it being all of a sudden and having nothing prepared for her to actually learn. Most likely, she was just humoring her daughter to the best of her ability. “I’ll talk to her.”

“Thank you” Silver says with a huff “This is just way too boring for me.”

Alrighty then, you head over to the study, a few steps off, while listening to what was going on. Spoiled was really trying to get through to her daughter. “Diamond Tiara, will you calm down? At this rate, you’d sink the company for sure. I’m going to tell you one last time. You are too young to learn the ins and outs of the company like I have. Like I said, I started learning AFTER I married your father, and he was taught the financial side of things when he came of age. And even then, you are a young mare, you need to learn the more soci-”

But Diamond wouldn’t have it, she slams her hoof on the desk and starts making demands “No! I want to be able to run the company as good as Daddy does! Since I’ll be marrying Anon for real, I want to be able to be his perfect partner!”

“And you will be… In the future, as in not now. Diamond, be reasonable, I have an appointment at the spa in half an hour. I’m still stressed from a few days ago and I don’t need any of this.” Indeed, her patience was thinning, it was time to say something.

“Um, Hey! Sorry to interrupt, but erm, came to see Diamond, if that's alright.” You say as you wave your hoof.

Spoiled has never looked as happy to see you as she did now, she even came to give you a hug “Anon! Good morning! How are you? Very good of you to see my precious daughter. I’m sure you both will have a pleasant morning. You’re free to do whatever you all wish. Goodbye.” Yep, she hugged you, stepped back, and stepped out within that whole sentence before anyone could even react. She did look pretty stressed though, perhaps she still had some guilt over that day. Or maybe it really was the stress of it all.

“Anon?” Diamond froze when she looked at you, then looked down as she got off the chair. She didn’t move out from behind the desk however as she suddenly became timid. “... Did you talk to Princess Luna? Is that why you’re here?”

“Yep” You say to her in a cute and confident tone “I was worried about you. You ok? You looked pretty intense just now, really focused.”

“Y-yeah… Um, I just want to focus more on Daddy’s business. Not only for me, but for you. For the both of us. I k-know I wanted to become a princess in some way… But…” You could hear her suddenly begin to tear up “I just… Well, y-you know. She told you about the nightmares, right?”

“She did.”

You hear her gulp, as she suddenly sounds more weepy about it “Uh huh… Erm, you’re not upset, right? I-I know you had your heart set on being my prince.”

You shrug “Eh, whatever. Being a prince sounded dull anyway. Besides, your dad seems really set on me learning the ins and outs of…” You do your best to sound like Filthy himself “Barnyard Bargains and all its affiliates and outside businesses, y’hear?” You then chuckle, feeling a tad silly about it. But then, when you noticed no response… “Diamond? You ok?”

Before you knew it, Diamond came running from behind the desk, and jumped on top of you, hugging you and bringing her head under your chin for comfort as she nuzzled “Anon! Y-You’re the greatest! I’m so happy to hear that! I was so scared you’d be upset! A-Anon…” She started to sniffle as she cuddled, and so you started to comfort her by holding her close, and tapping her nose with yours.

“Yeah, I know I’m the best. But hey, relax, alright? Your mom is right, you’re taking things in too quickly. Just tackle em’ as they come, ok? For now, let's hang out! You’d like that, right?” The poor thing, you had to do your best to get her to smile.

“Mhmm, I’d like that… Very much.” She said in a low voice, obviously still as infatuated with you as the day you ‘saved’ her.

“Oh my gosh! This is like, the most romantic thing ever! You two really are perfect for each other!” said the voice of Silver Spoon, as she just kind of stood over the both of you, making things kind of awkward. Awkward enough for you both to let out a small cough, and stand on your hooves.

“Yep, eheh. Ummm, anyway. You alright, Diamond? I mean, really alright.” You ask her, composing yourself from such a show of affection.

“I definitely am now. Oh, um… Hi, Silver Spoon, how are you?” Diamond asks, now in full realization that her best friend is present.

“Was kinda bored, but seeing you two so happy with each other has really inspired me! Diamond, have you ever thought of getting Anon a makeover? Oh! We could totally, like, make him look super cute in time of the wedding!” Silver Spoon said, with heightened excitement over such an idea.

“No, Anon is already perfect the way he is. Hmmm… “ Diamond said as she began to ponder to herself as she looked at you with loving eyes.

“Well, ummm…” Silver Spoon seemed disappointed by that answer, but would say nothing to upset her friend. So she decides to go with the original reason she came by “We could find a sorta ok bouquet for you. Something that screams ‘This is not as nearly as great as I thought it was’. How does that sound?”

“No… no, Mother and Daddy already have everything ready for the wedding, so we don’t have to do anything ourselves. Although, since I do want to learn more about the family business, maybe I should learn about how Anon does things.” Diamond then looks deep into your eyes, as if she was looking for something “Like… Hero work.”

Not only you, but Silver as well, step back with a “What?!”

“Well, it’s just like Anon said, we should hang out! And since we’re future partners, not only will we be equals at business, but also at heroing! Makes sense, right?” Diamond said with a wide and closed eyed smile.

“U-uhhmmm, Diamond, what happened to the other thing I said? The ‘take things as they come’ part?” She can’t be serious! That’s even worse than the royalty thing!

“Well, adventures are always coming and going, right? I’m not asking to go out doing hero work with you everyday, just this one time to learn how it’s like. Then, like a responsible mare, I’ll wait until we’re married for us to do it on the regular. Besides, your dad already told me I’d get to go on your next adventure anyway, so why not do it now and get it over with? And besides…” She steps towards you with longing eyes “They say lots of romantic stuff can happen on adventures too, it sounds really exotic.”

Goddammit, you do remember SOMETHING about that. And even then, given Discord’s personality, he’d really make it happen if he found out.

But wait… Wait. WAIT! Holy fuck, Anon, you were an adult before you came to Equestria, why are you bending to Diamond’s demands? She had those nightmares for a reason, and goddammit, even then, she did not fully seem to understand WHY she actually had them. Goddammit, Anon, stop being a pussy and stand up for yourself! Just do it carefully. So, you look over to Silver Spoon, and give her a heavy glare “Silver, you mind giving me some privacy? I need to speak to Diamond alone.” Your stare was intense, so much so you accidently seemed to have instilled some fear into her.

“Anon? What’s wrong?” Diamond asked, confused about your sudden serious demeanor.

“Umm… Erm…” Silver started to back up as she looked at you, then shifted her gaze towards Diamond, unknowing of what to do.

Diamond, both worried and yet intrigued, just nods to her “Do what he says, Silver.” Diamond then looks to you, she went from happy and lovey dovey to shaken and subtly distraught. This attitude was familiar to you with the last time you had a major argument with her, so you knew what to expect.

When Silver finally left the room, Diamond looks to you with a frown, with worry in her tone. “Did I say something wrong? Why are you so serious all of a sudden?”

Just stand your ground, Anon, she is just being a child .”Diamond, you’re being unreasonable.”

“What?!” Diamond said, in shock you’d be so direct “How am I being unreasonable? Do you mean on going on an adventure?” Suddenly, she began to look at you with a hard stare “I said ONE adventure! Just one. How is that unreasonable?”

“Because adventures are dangerous, Diamond. Almost every single one I’ve ended up in has lead to somepony getting hurt. Yes, usually it’s me, but sometimes it's one of my friends. And sometimes it's a situation where nopony is going to walk away from if a mistake is made.” You explain to her, keeping your cool the best you can.

“But I wouldn’t make a mistake. I’m actually very good at coming up with plans, so I’d totally be able to help out so we don’t end up getting beaten.” She retorts, her voice desperate for your validation.

“Diamond, you know I know about what you had nightmares about. I understand you wanted to tone things down to a more realistic future for us, and I’m really happy about that. But when it comes to adventures and heroing, you don’t just go looking for trouble and expect to come out on top. Ok? I don’t just walk up to something dangerous and say ‘Hmm, I should get involved in this despite it possibly being really dangerous’. I do what I do when I’m needed, that’s all.” Ok, so that wasn’t exactly the truth. You’ve gotten yourself into danger many a time due to arrogance or ignorance, and only got out of it mostly due to luck or the power of your horn. But you couldn’t let her know that.

“But then… How am I supposed to be your partner? I thought with us running Daddy’s business together, that we’d be able to go on adventures together too. I just wanted to help you, so it wouldn’t be so dangerous for you… Like when I nearly got…” Diamond gasped, and brought her hooves to her mouth “When ‘I’ nearly got fillynapped. You got hurt only because I…”She looks to you, tears in her eyes “Because I got you into it”

Well, that wasn’t exactly true either, there was no way either of you could have foreseen Discord coming in to cause all this in the first place. You sigh, and slowly approach her for a hug. “That is a little different, you didn’t go looking for trouble when that happened. But…” And you really could use this to your advantage “With inexperience, that kind of thing could easily happen if we go adventuring, or something even worse. I’m not saying it’ll never happen, I’m just saying that, well, that I’m happy the way things are now, and look forward to helping you run this company. Because, really? I may be good at being a hero, but if your Dad gave me the reigns to his livelihood… Erm.” You raise your hoof, then spiral it down to the ground, accompanying it with a sound similar to a plane in a falling tailspin.

Diamond had a small giggle at that, but then seemed rather surprised “Really? You really think you’d do that bad? I know I don’t know too much, but I got through most of the basics just fine. Really, I know enough about running Barnyard Bargains itself… Just not when it includes all those other stuff Daddy owns. It’s all just numbers, projections, predictions, and well, as mother told me, socializing with the right ponies. I don’t understand how you'd have trouble with that, you seem so good at it, and you always get very high grades in Miss Cheerilee’s class.”

Only due to your true origins and your current status. In truth, you’d never be able to put that altogether to run a business by yourself, at least not the financial side of it. “Yeah, but I can’t put it all together like you can. I mostly live in the moment, and I have more of this ‘intuition’ than I do financial sense…” Or more really, you use tropes you know about to your advantage “But that's what I’m talking about, we can still be a team, be business partners, and IF the situation arises… We could go on an adventure together. We can do all those things, Diamond…” You look to her with a gentle smile, and put your hoof to her cheek, prompting a blushy gently nuzzling from her “But we have to be smart about it, ok?”

She nods, finally agreeing with you “Ok, I think I understand now. I still totally can’t really believe you can’t handle business stuff, but if you really can’t, I can run you through the basics. Then I can teach you the more advanced stuff when I learn it. Ok…” Diamond takes a breath, and calms herself “I’m over it now, and I’m really sorry, Anon. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s alright, Diamond. Heh, can’t be worried now since our wedding is so soon.” You say with a sunny smile

“Yeah… I know it’s not a real one, but it does sort of feel real. I… Really can’t wait.” Diamond says with a long hopeful sigh, before a thought pops in her head “But Anon, what would be a situation that we would go on an adventure together?”

You already had a perfect example for that one “Well, if we had a daughter, whoever foalnaps her will be in for some pain.”

“Yeah!” Diamond jumped forward “They totally will! I’ll finally be able to try those moves I learned when Mother put me in those self defense classes! I’ll just use my hind legs to grab them like this!” And without even realizing it, Diamond grabs you by the neck with her hindlegs, and twists your entire body with a spin before throwing you down. “And then slam them down like that! Much better than just bucking them… Or thats what I… ANON!” Diamond gasped “A-Are you ok?!”

You were dazed, and even confused, from such a sudden spin and slam to the ground. Hoo, you were even turned on a little bit, that was the first time you’ve ever really been between her legs. “I-I’m good, eheh. J-just peachy.”

After a quick recovery, and Diamond having the maids bring both snacks and tea for everyone, and some sort of ointment for your neck, in which you had to prevent any lewd thought from entering your mind as one of the maids expertly and soothingly rubbed it into your neck, the three of you decided to sit on the couch and discuss a few things. What those things were…

“Well, I guess bouquet hunting isn’t a thing anymore. So, like, what are we going to do today?” Silver asked, looking to Diamond for guidance as she took a sip of her tea.

“I don’t know, but I kind of didn’t feel like going out anyway. Then again, my reason for staying in has gone to the spa. Hmm…” Diamond began to ponder to herself, trying to come up with an idea. It actually didn’t take her long at all to think something up when her gaze came upon you. “Well, actually, since we’re here. Anon, why don’t you tell us about how your life is. I mean, y’know, I know so much about you, but I don’t know enough. I realized that since I don’t live with you, or really see you when you’re alone, all I really know about you is that you’re a hero, that you’re amazing, and loving, thoughtful, cool, strong, and… mmmm, well that’s it.” Diamond then nods, as her expression becomes more determined “And that’s not right! My gosh! How can we even get fake married if I only know so much about you!?” Diamond hops off the couch and starts marching about “Argh!” She yelled to herself in frustration “How could I be so stupid!? All this time, all this time... “ She then looks to you, her frustration then becoming sadness. “I mean, I didn’t even know where you were from until…” But what was unexpected, is that she didn’t break down crying this time. Instead, she looked to the both of you, and started to make commands “Alright then! Silver, Anon, I need suggestions on how to learn more about other ponies, like, right now!”

W-what?! Actually, she really didn’t know too much about you when you thought about it. Then again, there were parts of you she could never learn about until her attitude matured. And her fierce look, it looked like you had to give her something or she might shatter. But her demand itself, its not that hard to resolve. You really should give her more to go on at this point of the relationship since you already have to go through the madness that is a fake wedding. “Well, I mean, just hanging out with them is how to do it. You know everything about Silver, right? She’s your best friend, isn’t she?”

“She is!” Diamond suddenly points to her, startling her “Silver! I know everything about you, right?!”

“Agh! Um! Sure, mostly.” Silver says, her eyes shifting about as she collected herself from the shock.

“Mostly? Mostly?! I’ve known you for almost as long as I’ve lived! How do I only know ‘mostly’ about you?!” Diamond shouted, demanding an answer.

“U-uhh, umm. Well... “ Silver shrugged as she gave her a sheepish smile “I know we always do stuff together, but sometimes I kind of do things by myself. And sometimes… sometimes…” Silver hesitates, afraid to say her next set of words.

“Sometimes? Sometimes what?” Diamond approaches her, her tone becoming more inquisitive by the second

“Umm… Sometimes…” Silver’s ears fold in, as she brings her hoof to her mouth, biting at the edge of it until she finally blurts it out “sometimes I feel you’ll just make fun of some of the things I like, so I keep it a secret, ok!” She yelled, before ducking her head behind her forelegs “Y-you’re not mad, right?”

“No, in fact, I think I get it.” Diamond said as she once again thought on the subject “Ponies have insecurities and fears, and not everypony knows about everything when it comes to their friends. I’m not mad because I also had things I didn’t want to talk about. And I kind of acted out in the wrong way for the longest time because of it. So maybe I know enough about Anon for it to work out after all. But I also know that despite going to his house once, I didn’t really get to check it out too much. Daddy says you can learn a lot about a pony by the way they live, so it wouldn’t hurt to learn a little more about Anon, I’m sure there’s a few things I still need to know. Anon, that’s ok, right? I mean, you’re here in my mansion, so it’s ok if we hang out at your house, right?”

Uhhhh, is that even a good idea? Well, it wouldn’t be too bad if it was just your room. She seems to have things mostly figured out, so it wouldn’t hurt to maybe give her some more insight. Just gotta watch those window blinds. You’ll do it, but she’ll have to respect a few rules first. “Sure, why not? But there are a few rules you’d have to follow. My house can be kind of dangerous.”

“Dangerous? As in, the ‘get hurt’ kind of dangerous?” Silver said, feeling worried over your words. She didn’t like the sounds of that.

“Pfft” Diamond waved her hoof in dismissal “It’s not that dangerous, I’ve been there before.”

“You’ve been there before, yeah, but things have kind of changed. But the rules are also really simple to follow. All we have to do is stay in my room, and not open the window blinds. It won’t be dangerous if you both follow those two simple rules. My room has a some stuff I can show you if you really wanna learn about some other aspects about me, so it really is no issue.” You say, hoping to god they understand your rules. Well, you knew Silver did, but Diamond seemed rather miffed by such a thing.

“Why can’t we step outside? Or explore the rest of your house? You’re the son of chaos, Anon. When I said learn more about you, I not only meant about where you came from and what you do, but also how you live. I mean, your dad is Discord! And I’ve always wondered about things like, maybe…” She looks to you with an expression of suspecting something, and yet she cocked a smirk. “You’re a bit of a prankster like your dad? Hmmm? I’m right, aren’t I?”

Wut? Where did she even get such an idea? “I mean, erm, but I-”

Diamond’s smug look became smuggier when she held her hoof out towards you “Save it. if you think I didn’t take the chance to ask Princess Luna a few things about you, you’re wrong. She told me about what happened last Nightmare Night when I asked her about how you and your Dad get along. Don’t worry, I’m not mad, I know how bad it’d look if everypony knew you were capable of such mean pranks. I mean, a paint bucket over a door? Filled with some sort of skunk juice? Very naughty.”

WHAT?! You weren’t that bad! Ok, wait, no, you did just fuck with Luna pretty good. But wait… YOU’RE NOT THAT BAD A PRANKER! WHO EVEN DOES THE PAINT BUCKET OVER THE DOOR? Wait, you did? No you didn’t. Ugh, Luna must have told her some childified version of the real events of that battle. Though some of the details are a bit fuzzy to even you, you remember that damn Cazaclaw and Nightmare Galaxia or whatever her name was. “Ok, I admit, I do pranks from time to time. There is nothing wrong with that.”

Diamond nods “I agree, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Wut? She agrees? You’d think she’d find that a bad quality, or be mad you tried to prank the princesses at all. “You’re not mad about the fact that I prank ponies, erm, from time to time?”

“I’m just glad to know it’s true. At first I didn’t really believe it, and then I realized I didn’t care, AND THEN I realized I actually did care in the sense that it’s another thing I know about you. I don’t even think it’s that bad a thing, especially since the princesses also seem to be into it. Erm… not that it’s me wanting to be a princess, I’m over that, I just think it seems pretty cool. Maybe cool enough for me to um…” She looks over at you, her eyes seemingly begging for your approval “Try it once? With you?”

Hoo baby! Now we’re talking! Ok, before you get ahead of yourself, you need to realize there is a chance for her to either flake out mid-prank or just be really bad at it. But most importantly, you have to remember not to get her overly involved as well, especially with Discord becoming more daring with his own pranks. “Sure, but there’s really nopony to prank at the moment. As for coming to the house, if you REALLY want to explore it, then you both gotta stick really close to me. I can use the horn to get us out of a jam in case anything happens, but I need to know where you both are so I can be quick about it. Also, we won’t be exploring for long, this is just to learn the kind of place I live in, that’s all. After that, we go back in my room, talk a bit, and that’s it, got it? I'm not really willing to take it further than that.”

“I got it. I got to do something later with Daddy anyway, so just a short exploration is fine. Oh, now I’m excited! Now I get to really see how your house is like! You better be ready to answer all my questions, Anon. Because if it has anything to do with you, then I want to learn about it!”

“Well, actually... “ again, giving it some extra thought, there are a few issues with that “I rarely explore the house myself. Like I said, it’s kind of dangerous, so I stick to my room, the living room, and the basement”

“It’s because the other rooms are super dangerous, right? If that’s what it is, then I vote we just see the places that Anon has been in! I-I mean, like you said, we’re trying to learn more about him, no point in exploring the house if it has nothing to do with him, r-right?” Silver was clearly worried to be exploring any place that might actually be dangerous. She was in no way willing to risk her life in any capacity.

“That’d be cool if I knew how to get to some of them, they shift around from time to time. Even then, only a few are worth… or even safe, to go into. You know, really thinking about it, there really wouldn’t be much to learn about me unless we actually take a risk.” Really, upon thinking about it, if your fate was to be with Diamond, then she was going to have to get used to something that was chaotic in nature. But it also had to be safe. Well, if that’s the case, you’re gonna retract one of your other rules. Who knows, it might actually be fun to spook them. Is that mean to think of? Scaring two little fillies? Well, you really don’t want to spook Diamond too much, you just wanted to give her an idea of how things in your house really was. Silver though? Ehhhhhh… “Alright, I take back the window blinds thing. If you really want to learn about what I do in my own time, you’re gonna have to see what's behind it.”

“Is it really that important?” Diamond asked, skeptical on how something like that can be in any way relevant.

“Yep. Just know this, it’ll be pretty scary. But it’ll be ok, as long as nopony opens the window.” Showing them the X-Captain and the Storm King. Thinking about it, it filled you with pride. To you, they were pretty much living trophies. Accomplishments of things you managed to do. Well, maybe not the X-Captain, that was Chrysalis. But you definitely played a big part in taking down the Storm King. Showing them off. What could go wrong? “Got it?”

Silver, once again, did not like what she was hearing. “Are you serious? If it’s so dangerous, why keep it outside your window? Couldn’t it break in at anytime?”

But Diamond chimed in, curious and ready to see this mysterious danger. “Really? Come on, it’s totally obvious Anon has some barrier or something to keep it from going in. It’ll be fine, come on! Let’s go! Let’s go right now!”

“Diamond, a-are you sure? It kind of feels like, whatever it is, we shouldn’t get it mad or angry. I don't even feel like we should do any exploring either. A-Anon said it's not even worth it." Silver said, still shivering at the thought.

“Well, Silver, you’re welcome to stay if you’re scared. Really, I don’t mind it just being me and Diamond.” You then shrug, and act rather coy. Really, you wanted her to come at this point, this could be funny as fuck. “I really do understand that you’re too chicken for this.”

“Chicken? I-I’m not chicken!” She shouts, still scared, but unwilling to take such an insult. “I’m Diamond Tiara’s best friend! Anything she can handle, and you can handle, I can, like, totally handle!”

“Then it’s settled.” You say as you place your horn on your head. "Oh, Diamond, I have a new way of getting home now. Not much different than the map, but you might find it pretty neat. You remember how it works, right?”

“Mhmm, first you just make a spill, like this.” Diamond tips over the teapot, and makes a puddle on the floor. This, of course, weirds out Silver Spoon.

“Uhhh, I remember how this works and all. But won’t your mom and dad get angry that you stained their floor with tea?” Silver asked.

“No, it disappears when we jump in the portal. Right, Anon?” Diamond asks you, feeling no regret for what she did.

DID IT?! DID IT DISAPPEAR?! Oh cripes, you always jump through it so you never know if it actually disappears or if it gets cleared up. You begin to sweat, and let out an unsure “Y-yes?”

“See? It’s totally ok! So, how does it work now, Anon?” Diamond looks to you again, with big expecting eyes.

“Like this, it’s like real unicorn magic this time. I just aim the horn, and BAM!” And just like that, you open a portal to your room. “Doesn’t even waste a charge or anything.” Unfortunately, both ponies seemed rather unimpressed by this. It killed your enthusiasm pretty quickly. “W-what’s wrong?”

“Ummm, I mean, that’s just you using your horn to open the portal instead of the map. Really, it wasn’t that different.” Diamond says unapologetically.

“Yeah, you kind of made that seem like a really big thing, but it was just kinda the same. Huh, makes me wonder how bad that thing behind your window is.” Silver said, almost smugly, as if not only she was scared for nothing, but if she should make fun of you for making it seem so scary. "You exaggerate too much sometimes, Anon. Like, no offense, but when you're socializing with other ponies and you do that? You'll just make Diamond and yourself look bad."

You just grumble to yourself, silently saying “I’ll show you bad, you little...mngmhnm”

So there they were, in your room, looking around. Silver, having never been in your room before, was of course more curious than Diamond when it came to exploring your room. And yet, she seemed unimpressed. “Um, aside from the whole warm bed thing, this doesn’t seem really cool or chaotic. It just seems like a normal room to me, except for that weird clock and… Hmmm?” And then she came across it, the floor door. “Why do you have a door on the floor?”

“Because that’s how I get to the living room. The room isn’t really meant to be chaotic, Silver, it’s meant to be homey. I also wouldn’t try opening that door if I were you, most ponies tend to fall right through.” You tell her. You didn’t really care for her acting snooty, but you didn’t need her falling and hurting herself.

Diamond was going through your drawers, she noticed they weren’t really filled with any clothes, and one had a whole set of Power Pony cards. You remember getting them at your ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party, and then utterly forgetting them. “Anon, where’s your wedding tuxedo?” She asked.

“Erm, it’s not ready yet. But it will be, really soon. What, you have your dress ready already?” You ask. You don’t really know why, maybe it was because you felt you didn’t need to be that ready yet, and would feel more ok finding out she wasn’t ready either.

“Had it ready for weeks. Anon, come on” She turns to you, and pouts “You’re ready for the wedding, aren’t you?”

Ugh, never mind, of course she’d be ready. Why did you think otherwise? “I am, really! Even got a best stallion… Erm, who happens to be Scootaloo. That’s ok, right? I mean, there’s Spike, but I’m not as close to him as I am Scoots.” If there was one thing you had to thank Discord for, was setting you up with at least that. Really, he was more ready for the wedding than you were… Kind of scary, really.

“I… Guess? Well, it isn’t meant to be perfect. But you better be ready with a proper ‘best stallion’ when we actually get married, got that?” She doesn’t say it too harshly, really, she just found it off you had a filly filling in for the spot.

This girl, it made you smile a little how much she wanted this test wedding to go not perfectly, if only to get her hopes up for the real thing. “I got it… Anyway, girls, this here is the window I was talking about. But prepare yourselves, for what lies behind these blinds is a chaotic being of such horrible proportions that you will scream in fright.” You approach the blinds, then wave your hooves at the girls to emphasize how frightful the experience it might be. You also realize you sounded like Trixie there, or perhaps like Flim and Flam. Ergh, how could you resist being show offy with something like this? It’s pretty big stuff.

Diamond just sat down a few feet away from you, excited, and with a gentle smile. Silver sat next to her, skeptical, and not expecting much. The way she looked, her expression of boredom, you hated it, and couldn’t wait to show her your great trophy.

“Are you two ready?” You ask, trying to sound all grand about it.

“Ready!” Diamond says with enthusiasm, holding her hoof out in an adorable fashion.

“Yup, I’m ready.” Silver just waited, this time not being a cunt, but not all excited either.

“Alright then, here...we...GO!” You move the blinds aside to reveal the giant floating mass that was the X-Captain. But just your luck, it seems he was turned around, because what you saw was the Storm King, who was seemingly moving tentacles on his own, and was tossing and catching a rock he was was bouncing off your window.

“Ewww! What is that?!” Rather than frightened, Silver Spoon was grossed out. Of course she was, anyone would be. The Storm King’s head wasn’t anything frightening when all he is now is a pimple on a round eldritch horror’s ass.

“Hey! HEY!” The Storm King yelled as he missed the stone he was tossing, causing it to bounce off his body and drop downwards into the abyss below him “C’mon, really!? I just learn I can control this body when the screwball is asleep and you’re gonna bother me now!? I was at five hundred thousand bounces too! never gonna beat that record, I’ll tell you that.” The Storm King groaned, frustrated that of all times. Now is the time you choose to open the window blinds.

“I-is that… Is that the Storm King? Anon, why is the Storm King outside your window, and why is he a ball thing?” Diamond was confused, she never would have guessed that you would have someone like him even close to your vicinity.

You really wish he showed up AFTER scaring Silver with the X-Captain. Still, she was at least disgusted, and surprised. “That’s the Storm King?! Why is he even here?! I thought he broke into a million pieces! Anon, like, he’s a really bad guy! Are you… working with him or something?”

But before you can reply, the Storm King lets out a horrendous laugh, as if that was some sort of joke to him “Hahaha! Are you serious?! Work with that pipsqueak? Look, I have no idea what's going on here, but you’re two sensible little fillies, right? As in, you know right from wrong? Well, haha…” Then suddenly, he started yelling frantically, and in a panic “GO TELL SOMEONE, ANYONE, THAT THIS CRAZY KID HAS ME LOCKED UP OUT HERE! LISTEN, EVERYDAY, EVERY STINKIN’ DAY, I GOTTA LISTEN TO THIS MEATBALL SCREAM ABOUT HIS REVENGE. I’M TIRED OF IT! I DON’T EVEN WANT REVENGE ANYMORE! YOUR PRINCESSES WOULDN’T SUBJECT ANYONE TO THIS! SO WHY DO I HAVE TO?! I’M BEGGING YOU! I’M SORRY, ALRIGHT?! HELP-” But his pleas are cut off when you close the blinds. Holy shit! You did not expect that!

Both Diamond and Silver looked bewildered. What they saw was the cries of a pathetic hasbeen king begging for mercy, something you didn’t even expect after his earlier claims of wanting to end you. Diamond looked to you, shocked and worried about what she just saw. “Anon? W-what was that? What did you do to him?”

Why did you detect a hint of empathy? Did she feel bad for him? No way, not only is he evil, but that plea for mercy was total garbage. “I personally punished him. What? What’s the matter? The guy was a tyrant who was going to blow up Canterlot just because he wanted to be dramatic, so I imprisoned him on the body of this other guy who is just as bad, and nearly destroyed me.”

“Another guy? Is that what he meant by ‘meatball’?” Silver wondered, then speculated on what it all meant “Anon, are you,like, keeping bad guys as pets? Isn’t that unethical?”

“Erm, not really. They can’t get through my window, or even leave the chaos dimension. Plus, its just two of them attached to a single body. And again, they totally deserve it. You both understand that, right? I mean, look at Tirek, that guy is meant to be imprisoned forever in Tartarus, right? Same thing! Bad guys are not meant to get rewards, they are meant to be punished, which is exactly what I’m doing. Except my way has to do with really horrible guys, like him.” You explained it the best you could, while in the back of your mind, you wondered why you had to justify this at all, they fucking deserved it!

Diamond looked unsure about the whole thing, and rather uncomfortable. But you could also see she was debating with herself. She knew he tried to hurt you, hurt your friends, and destroy the very capital of Equestria. That seemed like a pretty hefty crime in and of itself. And then, to her, you were her partner, someone she knew she should stand by. And so she stood up, and nodded, deciding that the Storm King did indeed deserve to suffer whatever you did to him. “You’re right, Anon! He’s a bad guy! Besides, I shouldn’t even jump to conclusions, I should have known you were right the moment I saw him. He even said he wanted revenge on you, clearly he’s still evil and needs to be punished!”

And Silver seemed to follow suit, if a bit reluctant about it. “I totally agree, but don’t the bad guys usually just continue to be evil? He was begging us to help him, and he seemed to want to be a better guy.”

“So?” And Diamond, being loyal to you, begins to argue with Silver over that line of reasoning. “That doesn’t mean anything. Look at… Erm, look at…” She had to think hard about her next set of words, clearly she was trying to come up with a good counter point. “Anon’s Dad! Discord. He said he was reformed too, and he still betrayed everyp-” Suddenly Diamond grimaced, not only due to the fact she was insulting her future father-in-law, but because… “ummm… Yeah, and then he was forgiven. And he's actually a pretty great guy.”

Oof, despite that being pretty bullshit, as Discord didn’t really deserve the forgiveness he got, you also know that Chrysalis probably deserved to suffer a similar fate to the X-Captain, as far as your logic was concerned. But they didn’t know the truth about that, so you didn’t need to worry about that point being brought up. “I mean, he was tricked, and didn’t understand friendship despite wanting it from my Aunt. The Storm King is not only as bad as Tirek, but he’s as bad as Sombra too, and that guy didn’t even get imprisoned the second time, he got straight up blown up! The same thing the Storm King was gonna do to all of us if I didn’t help stop him. He doesn’t care about friendship, he just wants a free ride out of here.” Again, the fact you had to justify this was insane. And yet, you were glad Diamond had your back on it. Hell, you were surprised Silver had an actual moral fiber. Then again, she’s a stooge who follows anything Diamond does, so she must have become more moralistic when Diamond started to.

“It makes sense to me. See, Silver? How can you argue that?” Diamond asks, nodding her head in a dominant fashion.

“I guess that makes sense. I just, I dunno, sometimes I think about the times we made fun of Applebloom and her friends, we totally did that a lot, and we kind of got away with it in the end. I was just thinking maybe he’s not so bad. But if he is, then that other guy must be just as bad, right? I mean, the Storm King even apologized, that seems like he wants to make things right.”

Was this bitch fucking serious? Fine, fuck it, she wants to wonder about the ‘other guy’? Then you’ll show him to them both. Given the X-Captain’s eternal rage and great lunacy, they’ll have to see, for sure, that what you did was right. The guy is a menace that you could never let free, and you need to make sure they both understand that one hundred percent. “Trust me, he’s pretty bad. In fact, let me wake him up, and you’ll see exactly why they're stuck in this dimension.”

And with that, you had the girls sit down and prepare themselves once again. What you planned to do was just yell out for the guy, surely he would hear you and turn around before the Storm King could say anything. Once the girls see this asshole, they’ll see that you’re in the right, for sure.

However, when you do move the blinds, it already seemed the work was done for you. The X-Captain was pressing his entire body on the window, sliding and scraping his tongue on the glass as his horrible yellow gaze fell upon the girls, his sharp teeth glistening with his saliva “Anoooon, you brought treeeats, hahahaHAHAHA!” He cackled in delight.

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!” Silver shrieked in pure fright, her grey coat becoming pure white. While the Storm King just looked like a head on a sphere, the X-Captain was truly a horrifying sight that you have since become accustomed to. “I DON’T WANT TO BE EATEN!” She screamed and ran towards the bed to hide under it. But, so blinded by her own fear, she ends up smashing her face onto the bed post and walking back in a daze, walking onto your floor door. When she snapped out of it, she made another yell, opened the floor door, and like the ponies before her, seemed to forget that a door on a floor would lead to a fall. And man, did it never get old for you as you heard her shriek and plummet with a thud.

Now, for Diamond, you would have caught her if she somehow ended up making that mistake. But she didn’t seem scared, nor did she act it, she just stared at him, intrigued and rather angry. “Hey! That’s my best friend you just scared! You jerk!”

“Scare? I didn’t do that to scare, I really do plan to eat you, him, and everypony in my future kingdom. And tell me, why aren’t you scared? Don’t you realize that your destruction is guaranteed once I am free of this place? Or are you a blockhead like Anon?” He says with a low and cruel chuckle.

“Oh pleeeeeeeeeeease, you’re just a floating beach ball with teeth. I already know you can’t get in here, you’re Anon’s prisoner after all. You can’t do anything. So there! Hmph! Now apologize.” Diamond raised her nose to him, finding him a disgusting sort and already not worth her time. Really, her bravery was kind of cute. Normally, especially when she was an ass, seeing something so grotesque would have scared her. You must have really been leaving a mark on her at this point.

“PRISONER?! APOLOGIZE?!” The X-Captain’s eye turned red with rage, unable to handle both the demand and the great insult “HOW DARE YOU! I AM-”

But then Diamond, suddenly releasing a rage of her own, hops up and starts screaming in a girlishly shrill voice. “NO! HOW DARE YOU! I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU DID, BUT IT WAS OBVIOUSLY BAD ENOUGH TO KEEP YOU OUT THERE! DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW PATHETIC YOU LOOK?! SCREAMING ALL THAT ABOUT BEING A KING WHEN YOU CAN’T EVEN GET THROUGH A WINDOW?!”

The X-Captain’s eye went back to yellow, suddenly disarmed from being yelled at. He opened his mouth and raised a tentacle to try to say more or interrupt her. But Diamond was having none of that. “I AM NOT DONE! IT’S OBVIOUS TO ME THAT YOU’RE JUST A RUDE AND THOUGHTLESS BALL THING THAT TOTALLY IS SO FULL OF HIMSELF THAT HE CAN’T EVEN SEE WHAT’S IN FRONT OF HIS ONE STUPID EYE! WHO ARE YOU EVEN TRYING TO IMPRESS, OR EVEN SCARE?! YOU MUST BE ALONE OUT THERE, LIKE, NINETY NINE PERCENT OF THE TIME! AND EVEN THEN, FOR THAT ONE PERCENT, EVEN ANON THINKS YOU’RE A DRIP! BIG, BAD, AND UTTERLY STUPID! WHY DON’T YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL?! NOPONY CARES ABOUT YOU, NOPONY CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, AND EVEN THE STORM KING THINKS YOU’RE DUMB! SO STOP THINKING YOU’RE SCARY, BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT! AND GET A LIFE, YOU LOSER! YOU’RE A LOSER, AND YOU’LL ALWAYS BE A LOSER! FOREVER!” Diamond finally ended her rant, breathing hard, panting, furious that something like that filled her friend with fright and threatened you in any capacity.

You just… stopped. You blinked, expressionless, and looked over to the X-Captain, who had fallen silent. The X-Captain himself just stared at her, silent, stunned, and unable to speak. Then slowly, his yellow eye began to turn a dark blue as it filled with tears. And then finally, he began to sob and cry. “You didn’t have to be so mean about it! I-I was trying my best! Being a horrible mutant thirsting for domination is really hard when you can’t even… even…” Then suddenly he became wracked with grief as he brought his tentacles to his eyes, crying harder as he thought about her words “You’re right! I can’t even get through the window! But what else am I supposed to do? I already tried reading the books that float around here, and they don’t help, all I want to do is get revenge and rule the world. Is that so wrong? I know it is, but I just want it soooo bad! Why can’t anypony understand that?”

“It’s not that hard to understand, it’s just really wrong and nopony wants to be ruled over by a jerk like you! Everypony gets it, you’re a bad monster, but you’re a bad monster who will NEVER rule anything because you’re trapped here, by my partner, because you’re an evil loser who can’t even get through the window! Now go be stupid somewhere else!” Diamond barked at him, and pointed towards him, to imply to leave.

“I-I… I… I… NGWAAAAAA!” The X-Captain became hysterical at this point, and flew off, crying. Hell, you could have sworn you heard him call Diamond a meanie, as if he was just a stupid child.

Diamond just nodded, wiped her brow, and took a small breath “Whew, I sure showed him. Big jerk, who does he think he is scaring Silver like that? Right, Anon?”

Did… That just happen? That wasn’t real, how could that be real? Wut? “Uhhh-uhh, Y-y-yeah. You really weren’t scared of him?”

“Well, at first, I kind of was. But then he scared Silver so badly that she ended up hurting herself, and then he insulted you! I just couldn’t let that fly. It’s not like he could hurt any of us, right?” She asks, feeling proud of herself.

“U-Uhhm, yeah, he couldn’t really do anything from out there.” It really did happen, holy fucking shit.

“And that’s why I realized there was nothing to be afraid of, because I trusted your word. If you say he can’t hurt us, then I’m going to believe it. The guy is just full of hot air anyway, a real lame brain. Oh! Erm…” Suddenly, she gets a bit sheepish. “We better make sure Silver is ok.”

“Yeah…” Good god… She beat the X-Captain.

Amazing, simply amazing. You had never seen the X-Captain so defeated before. And his eye, it changed blue for some reason, as if to represent the intense feeling of sadness. It made you wonder then, did it turn red when he was in an intense rage? You’ve seen it happen, no question, but you could have sworn that was just his blood gathering into his eye or something. “Diamond, that was pretty cool. I’ve never seen him bend like that. I’ve taunted him before and all it ever did was make him angry, how’d you do that?” No seriously, how did she do that?

Diamond opens the floor door, but waits, and looks to you with a cheery yet cocky smile “I just told him how things were, It’s something I’ve always been able to do. Though…” She frowns for just a moment, lamenting her past misdeeds “It wasn’t all for the better though, sometimes I just really hurt ponies who didn’t deserve it. But now? I’m much better at it, and he clearly deserved to know that he’s just a no good and rotten evil ball.”

Huh, you should be pretty good at that too, right? It makes you wonder how you never managed it. Must be because you’re not a girl or something. “I see, well, heh, gotta remember to really stay away from your bad side then.”

“Oh, Anon” Diamond giggles “You never make me angry, so that isn’t anything for you to… wait, where’s Silver Spoon?” Diamond looks down through the threshold, but there was no filly in sight.

You felt a quick prick of fear, feeling she may have run off or even tried leaving the house through the front door. But just as you felt that startling feeling, it is quelled when you start hearing, what sounded like, movie previews. “I um… What’s that noise?”

You both decide to carefully descend the invisible gravity stairs. Luckily for you, it seemed you didn’t need to remind Diamond how to use them. When you both reached the bottom of the living room, you both saw Discord himself, sitting on his couch, watching a big screen tv with surround sound. It seemed he was watching some sort of movie preview about himself. But the most notable thing about this was that he had Silver Spoon held close to his side as he pointed to the screen. “I can’t wait for this one to come out. Who doesn’t enjoy an epic adventure story about a Draconequus and his dog?”

Silver however, was squirming, trying to escape, scared out of her wits. When she eyed the both of you, she couldn’t even get her words out, but her lips could be read as “Help me…”

Diamond however, was all too happy to see Discord, and was especially curious as to what he was doing. “Daddy Discord! Hi!” Diamond said in an especially cute manner, obviously vying for his attention. “What are you doing?”

“Oh, enjoying my movie, that’s all. Just recently came out on Blu-ray and I wanted to watch it on my big tv. And look, even your friend was curious too! She’s simply stunned at my amazing setup!” Discord said jovially.

“Um, I think she’s just really scared. Did you just pick her off the ground and sit her next to you or something?” The poor thing, you didn’t mean for her to get scared that much. She looked like she could faint at any moment.

“Of course not! I greeted her, hugged her, then picked her off the ground. I’m a gracious host, you know that! Although…” Discord curves his head to look at Silver, who ducks her own head and begs him not to hurt her “She does seem rather distraught. Ugh…” Discord grabs his remote and pauses the screen as he plucks Silver and sets her down on the floor “No use watching the movie if she’s just gonna go looney at any second. I know Anon has seen it on the silver screen, but Diamond, would you care to watch it with me? I promise it’ll be quite hilarious. Call it a father-daughter bonding. You’re invited too, of course.” Discord said as his eyes shifted to you “And don’t hesitate to ask for snacks. I have plenty for everypony!”

Silver rushed over and ducked behind Diamond, stuttering frightfully in her speech “H-he’s off h-h-his r-r-rocker! W-we gotta g-g-g-go home!”

“Oh, relax.” Diamond said with an eye roll “He’s just being himself.” She then looks to Discord with a smile “What movie are we watching? And what is all this? I’ve never seen a theater screen like that before, where’s the projector? And what’s a blue ray?”

“Oh, just a few things from Anon’s old place, if you know what I mean. As for the movie, it’s a-” OH holy shit no, you interrupt Discord before he could finish that sentence. The prank on Twilight? You knew for sure that’d upset Diamond.

“Ummm! Actually, we don’t have time for that! Maybe we can go back upstairs and check out…” Check out what, Anon? You fucking looked at everything already. Something Diamond notes as well.

“What’s more to check out? I want to watch the movie with you and your dad, it can be a family kind of thing.” Diamond says, curious as to what the movie even is, and enthralled by Discord’s set up.

“Yes, Anon, why wouldn’t you want to watch a movie where I prank Princess Twilight. Like a true expert, I might add.” Discord says, immediately getting into what the movie was before you could cut him off again.

“Oh no…” You whisper to yourself. Why is he doing this?

“You pranked Princess Twilight? Why would you do that?” Diamond, still curious, sounded a little hurt that Discord would do such a thing. Her voice becoming meek due to the words he had said.

“Why else?” Discord shrugs “It’s fun! Oh, come on, Diamond Tiara. I do know you are curious about our family doings and all that. And Twilight herself can be quite the prude who could use a good prank every now and again. Can you honestly tell me that you wouldn’t expect I, Discord, the master of chaos and fun, to not do such a thing? Would you denounce me for even thinking it?”

“Actually… No, I wouldn’t.” Diamond said, as she slowly began to approach him. “I did say I wanted to try it myself. I just never thought anypony would treat pranking Princess Twilight so lightly. That actually sounds…” She stops for a moment, reaches the couch, climbs up, and sits next to him, facing the screen “Really fun! A princess’s life is usually pretty boring after all, so I don’t think there’s any harm in it. Anon, why didn’t you tell me you pranked Princess Twilight?” Diamond asked you.

“Oh, he didn’t. This was all purely on me, I just provided him a good place to watch it. I would think he would tell you about it though. He had so much fun watching it, so it hurts me, just hurts me right here…” He points to a boil on his neck “to know Anon wouldn’t tell you such a thing in the first place. Or the fact he messed with Princess Luna last night. Got her good too, with just his words.” Discord then looked to you, as his eyes subtly glowed green as his head became vaguely like Chrysalis for a second “I wonder what other things he hasn’t told you”

“Luna? Other things? Anon, what is he talking about? What other things? If it’s just you pranking other ponies, I-I don’t mind. I’d like to hear about it, actually. As long as it’s not too mean of course.” Diamond now looked worried, and you were fucking pissed. For a moment, you almost thought he was Chrysalis. But given the home theater system, you knew that was him.

“Diamond, I need to talk to my Dad for a moment. Just for a moment, please? I’ll be right back.” Stay calm, Anon, don’t get tense. He has to have some reason he’s doing this to you all of a sudden. “Dad, if you don’t mind, please?”

“Oh, very well. Seems you don’t seem to understand what I mean anyway. Here girls” Discord snaps his talons, producing a huge bowl of popcorn on the floor. “Enjoy, I’ll be back in a minute or two and we can enjoy the show!” And with a snap of his tail fur, and before Diamond could interject, you are transported to an open and beautiful field of green grass and clear blue skies. Discord appears at your side, and takes a deep breath “Ahhh! Smell that air! Enough to calm you down and make you realize you’re being idiotic. That’s towards you, by the way.”

“Towards me?!” The serene scenery and Discord’s nonsense was doing nothing for your temper “The fuck is wrong with you?! Why are you telling her about last night like that?!”

“Well, I figured you didn’t tell her everything that happened. And given you both are supposed to be so close, it’s concerning she doesn’t know about your old bug friend. Even the crusaders know about her. What do you think would happen if you waited and waited and waited, and she found out some other way about it. A blurb there, a blurt here, it would really sour the relationship.” Discord said calmly as he began to rest on his back in mid air.

“Y’know, if Fluttershy didn’t already know, you’d fucking kill yourself before admitting you put me in danger with her.” You remind him

He falls to the ground with a grunt, then coughs nervously “Well, erm, that’s a tad grim, isn’t it? Besides, it wouldn’t be ok just to tell her straight out, it would have shattered her”

“But it’s totally ok to freak Diamond out, right? I have it fucking handled and you just suddenly want to fuck everything up! Even then, how am I supposed to explain to her that I was friends with Chrysalis?! Huh? Why even bring that shit up? It’s not that easy!” You bark at him, furious at his behavior.

“Well, aren’t we rude? Then again, I was going to take all the credit for the idea myself. But…” Discord stands up, and turns away from you as he ponders and mutters to himself “Why did I even listen to her?”

And you managed to catch all of that. Take credit? Her? Wut? “Discord, what the hell are you talking about? Take credit for what? Who is her? You don’t mean…” Fuck, did he run into Chrysalis? And worse, was he doing what she was saying for some reason?

“Twilight Two? Oh, what’s her name? Ahh, Starlight, yes, that’s it. This was all her completely garbage idea! I went to recruit her, we got into a conversation, and she basically told me that she was worried about the whole thing and felt you should tell Diamond sooner rather than later or something like that, I can’t remember the full details.” Discord said as he began to clean his ear with his talons.

WHAT?! STARLIGHT?! “So what you’re telling me is, instead of doing exactly what she said, or better yet, not doing anything at all, YOU DECIDED TO HALF ASS IT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?!”

“Oh, we all know the answer to that one. But if it means that much to you, we could just check with her and find out exactly what she meant.” Discord raises his talons as he prepares to snap “Ta-Da!” And he snaps them, causing a flash of light, and then Starlight to appear.

“...And you just thrust it forward, like this! And it should discourage whatever monster or crazy animal that might want to eat you for lunch.” Starlight, unaware of what just happened, seemed to have either been teaching a class or just a group of ponies how to use the taser. Too bad for you, when she appeared, she was right in the middle of thrusting the taser forward and right at you with her magic.

“WGDSAFRGRASRGFDGYAH!” Oh shit! Holy crap! That stung like a bitch! You spasmed from the shock before falling over, your mane frizzled, and your leg twitching “Agh! Ogh! I’m dead! I’m freaking dead!”

“Anon?! Oh my gosh! What are you doing there?! I didn’t even know you were with that caravan I was teac… Wait a second.” She looks around, and notices she was in an open field rather than the town. When she realized this, she grimaced, and sighed “Let me guess, you just decided to rush into things…” She then turns her head until she spots Discord, giving him a sour look “Didn’t you?”

“U-ugh, s-still feeling numb here…” You said as some sparks fizzled off from your mane. Even as Starlight helped you up and dusted you off, she didn’t pull her stare away from Discord.

“Can you blame me? Your explanation was so incredibly boring and nonsensical that it was better to get things over with right away. Besides, I only came to tell you about what to do for the wedding, not a lecture.” Discord, in his usual form, felt insulted by Starlight’s words.

After Starlight fixes your mane, she gently stands you up, then turns to Discord, her patience waning. “Don’t give me that! You came to me, worried, that something could go wrong and that I was the only one Anon knew who could help him in a pinch in case something happened. You told me you were afraid of her asking more personal questions as the wedding came closer. And what did I tell you?” Starlight asked, tapping her hoof on the ground as she awaited his answer.

“I dunno” Discord shrugged

Starlight’s eyes nearly flared up from anger as she shouted at him, furious at his nonchalance “I TOLD THAT CHRYSALIS WAS PROBABLY THE ONLY REAL BIG THING HE SHOULD TELL HER! AND I TOLD YOU TO HELP HIM THROUGH IT!”

Discord just calmly yawns, and flicks his ear with his talon “Excuse me, what was that? You totally lost me there for a moment.” Discord shrugged with a smirk “I mean, had you not suggested anything at all, Anon wouldn’t be in this mess, now would he?

“GRRRR, GMMNNN, mnnngh!” Starlight was fuming, about to shout his name. But unlike Twilight, she managed to calm herself when she thought about the more important matter of making sure things don’t blow up on you. So, she turns to you, and hopes you are willing to listen. “Anon, look, I know he is paying attention, and I know he’s only being a jerk because he wanted to prove some kind of stupid point. He just wants to prove not saying anything at all ‘is the best option’, but I know in my heart he wouldn’t just abandon you. So, please, just convince him, before I use my taser on him.”

You were in no forgiving mood yourself after what he did. You knew what he was doing, even if he himself didn’t weigh the consequences. He wanted to prove Starlight wrong by showing things would go wrong by mentioning something, not realizing how much shit it’d put you in. Well then, even if he would help you in the end, he’s going to need a rather stern talking to. “Oh no, I totally get it. Thanks for making things clear though, Starlight.” You then turn your head towards Discord, you weren’t having this. “Discord, you’re my pal, and chaos buddy. But you decided to step over the line like a total douche. You owe me your help at this point, you got that? That means not disappearing on me just because you felt you did enough. You gotta be there the whole way through.”

Discord groans, he hated being told that he owed anything to anyone, even you in situations like this. “And why should I? As I tried to tell Starlight, telling Diamond anything at all could ruin everything you have with her. Yes, I got lucky when it came to Fluttershy, but that just doesn’t happen twice in a row. And she needs to see that. So I ask again, why?”

You look at him, deep, serious, and even with a hateful sort of gaze. “Because I will never forgive you for ruining her heart like that, and even ruining my relationship with her family. They’re good ponies, Discord. Do you understand me? I really mean it, and I know deep down, you are terrified of that.”

Discord stopped, like, frozen in time. Then began to shatter from the bottom up until his bodily shards littered the ground. And yet, his voice could still be heard. “Y-you’d really hate me over something like that? No…” You didn’t even need to answer as he began to realize what he did wrong. “Of course you would, even Fluttershy wouldn’t talk to me for quite some time if I didn’t see this through. For you two to hate me. Yes, that would be worse than losing an argument.” And with that, time reversed on his fallen form, his shattered body reforming right back to here it had broken. “I apologize for being difficult. And to you, Starlight. I should have paid attention.”

“It’s alright, Discord.” It did take quite a bit of energy for Starlight to let this one go, given how assholish his motives were. But she knew how he was like, and knew, in the end, he didn’t mean any real harm. “Just, be more mindful of other ponies feelings, ok? At least when it comes to serious stuff like this.”

“Indeed, I will keep that in mind. Oh, and Anon” Discord tapped his talons and paws together sheepishly, his voice meek “We’re still chaos buddies, right? I-I do mean it, I’ll help you through this all the way. I understand how important this is to you.”

You took a breath, calming yourself, and look to him with a small smile and a slow nod. “Yeah, we’re still chaos buddies. Just don’t be shifty or cryptic about this either, alright? I want to get through this without any hassles. Please?”

“Noted, you will have no hassles out of me” Discord says with a courteous bow before turning to Starlight “I very much thank you for your time, Starlight. And as thanks, I present to you a token of my appreciation. It’s a blu-ray copy of my movie! Y’know, to preserve the moment for everypony, something I deem as very important when it comes to alicorn affairs.!”

“A what ray? You mean, a film reel? It looks pretty small” Starlight looks at it curiously, and gives it a tap. “Not that I wouldn’t mind having it, I know Trixie would still get a kick out of it.”

Discord closes his paw, and chuckles as he holds his talons over his forehead “Oh silly me, I forgot you need a television and a Blu-Ray player as well. I’ll have those magically delivered with some instructions as soon as I am able.”

“I uh… Ok. It sounds like more human technology though, which I wouldn’t mind having a look at, so I’ll be ready.” Starlight says

“I’m sure you will, ta-ta for now!” Discord says as he prepares a snap of his talons. “I have a son to help!”

“Goodbye Discord. And goodbye Anon, good luck! Though, I know you won’t need it.” Starlight waves to you.

And with a goodbye to all, you and Discord prepare yourselves to confront Diamond with the truth.

And so, there you both stood, in your room, ready to descend the gravity stairs to tell the truth of what happened with Chrysalis to a little foal who may not understand. Discord looked down at you, showing a fatherly expression on his usually smug face as he gave you a head pat. “Are you ready to face your destiny, Anon?”

Those words, it felt a little too over dramatic and annoying to you. “Do you have to say it like that? You make it feel like it’s the last thing I’ll ever do”

Discord shrugs, obviously not understanding what you meant. “What? Destiny doesn’t mean the end, it’s simply a course of events that usually lead to a foretold path.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You’re really gonna help me with this though, right?” You ask him, wanting to make sure he was going to keep his word. “No poofing away?”

“Yes, Anon, Yes!” Discord groans as he throws his arms up in the air in frustration “You and Starlight made it very clear how important this is. I may like to toy with you from time to time, but I understand the gravity…” Discord flattens into the ground at a quick pace, becoming a puddle “Of the situation. You can count on me” He says as he reverts back to his usual self.

“Yeah…” You say, partly to yourself, as a thought clicks in your head. “Y’know, Discord. I’m gonna be serious with you this time. Why don’t you marry Fluttershy?”

“Oh… This again.” Discord says with a groan, annoyed by the question “Must we do this now? You already know Fluttershy and I are friends. Friends who enjoy tea together. Friends who will have a picnic together every now and again…”

“Friends that if she was in danger and you knew, you’d probably raise hell just to get her back safe and sound.” You add to his list, not even smugly, but rather seriously in tone.

“Friends that if she was in danger and I knew, I’d probab… Hold on.” Discord stops, taps the air a little bit, then realizes what you were leading him into. He then begins to wiggle his talon at you dismissively “Anon, no, just no.”

“Even though you WOULD do that?” Now you begin to get a little brave and cocky as you look at him with a smirk.

“Mnnngh.” Discord crossed his arms at you, and grit his teeth as he spoke “You know I would.”

“Then? You obviously love her.” C’mon Discord, why did he have to be so stubborn?

“Noooo, I am obviously her best friend is what you mean. Higher than Twilight even, if I do say so myself.” Discord says, arms still crossed, nodding his head in assurance.

“Discord, think about it. If you married her, then you could live with her and everyone else wouldn’t be able to say shit about it. Every night, she’d be there waiting for you, ready to cuddle with you and massage your head to help you sleep. And besides, I wouldn’t mind having a little sister or brother. It would be pretty cool to teach a younger version of you and Fluttershy a few human tricks.” Yeah, that actually sounded pretty alright.

Discord took a deep breath, put his paw and talons together, brought them to his forehead, then pointed at you with a serious look. “One, Fluttershy can cuddle with me just fine. Two, I don’t care what her friends think-” But you cut him off right there.

“Right, that’s why you didn’t bring me here in the first place, right? Because you didn’t care what others thought? What her friends think? I mean, we did harass Twilight about it.” You remind him

He takes another deep breath, and starts to growl as he speaks “Three, producing a child would require acts I’d rather not think about. And four, I’m fine with just one child. That child being you, Anon, my son.”

Fine with one child? You? Ergh, you had to put a hoof to your chest. Sure, he’s said this many times before. But for him to put you over what would essentially be his child by blood, it stunned you there for a moment. “You mean, I’m good enough to be considered, like, your birth son?”

“Yes, Anon” Discord calms himself, and puts his paw on your shoulder as he leans down to look at you “You are. You are an expert at chaos, you treat Fluttershy with as much respect as I would, you treat Twilight with as much respect as I would, and most of all…” He then gives you a cheeky grin “You really are a child, always whining about something, so what else could I consider you?”

Ugh, you walked right into that one. Still, that was a really nice thought. You let out a light hearted chuckle as you nudge your leg into him. “Alright, alright, fine, I’ll drop it. So, um, we should probably go down now before she gets antsy about us”

“Indeed” Discord says as he begins to slither through the open door, downwards towards the living room. “Allow me to go first, I think it’ll soften the blow when she starts inevitably jumping to conclusions.”

“After you, dad” You say, with a polite bow, as you follow down after him.

As Discord and you entered the living room, Diamond Tiara stood at the ready, flustered, with her patience strong but wearing thin. Silver Spoon was… Wait, where was she?

“Where did you two go?” Diamond asked, looking sour that she was just left there without much of a word. “I want to know. Something fishy is going on now, and I want to know what it is.”

Discord stops, and bows to her apologetically “I’m sorry, my dear, I was just making sure everything was just right for what Anon and I are about to tell you. As for the fish part, well, I do have a failed aquarium somewhere in this house if you’d like to see it.”

That’s when you noticed it, the large popcorn bowl started to shake as if frightened by Discord’s words. That was probably where Silver Spoon was hiding. “Diamond, ummm. Is Silver Spoon in there?” You point to the popcorn bowl, and await her answer.

“Yes, now tell me what’s going on.” Diamond said, as her patience began to waver even further.

“Diamond!” Silver Spoon popped her head out, startled and angry that she had been called out. “W-why would you t-t-tell them where I am!? That film box thing, it wants to eat me, I know it! That’s why it went running around the house!”

The fuck? Actually, when you looked around, you did notice the TV was missing. Then Discord himself began to chuckle as he put a paw to his cheek and shook his head. “Oh, oh, my my my. You really can’t sit foals in front of the television these days. I’m guessing it saw her as a rich pony and tried to sell her something in earnest.”

Diamond nodded “Mhmm, it tried to sell us both something, actually. Something about sets of boxes and,like, ten seasons. Pretty sure we only have four so I don’t know what it was talking about. Then when Silver hid, it started running around looking for her, and now it’s just gone. I have no idea where it went.”

“Diamond! Shhhh!” Silver Spoon ducked her head, shaking as she darted her eyes about “It’ll hear you.”

If the situation wasn’t as touchy as it was, you’d laugh. But at this point, Silver was just being annoying and a detriment to the situation. “Silver, do you just want to go home?” You ask her.

“Y-Yes! D-Diamond, C-can I go home, please? T-this really has nothing to do with me, right? Right?” Silver looked to her friend with big frightened eyes as tears slowly began to flow from them.

Diamond could see it too, her friend was simply too afraid to take the insanity of the house any further. Although, to you, everything that has happened has really been rather standard and mundane. Diamond nods, then looks to Discord. “Can you send her home, please?”

Discord nods, and doesn’t hesitate to snap her away. You’d think he’d do one last thing to terrorize her, but it seemed he really was going to take this seriously. “Your wish is my command.”

And with that, Diamond planted her butt on the ground, and looked to the both of you with a demanding stare. “So is anypony going to tell me what’s going on? Why is everypony is being so secretive?”

You take a moment to compose yourself. Here you go, Anon, about to tell her something that might shatter her. But before you could say anything, Discord steps forward, and holds his paw towards you to keep you from stepping forward, as he really did mean to start this first. “Again, my apologies, but the story you’re about to hear will be quite a doozy. So…” Discord points to Diamond, lifting her up gently with his magic as she lets out a small 'eep'. He places her slowly on the couch, right on top of a pillow. She didn’t seem startled for long as she quickly made herself comfortable, laid on her belly, and continued her stare. “There we are, comfy?”

Diamond just narrows her eyes at him, and says in an inquisitive tone “Stop stalling, or are you trying to hide something from me?”

“Oooh, things have gotten rather serious, haven’t they? Then again, I suppose I would be acting the same way if things suddenly seemed so mysterious and ominous. Well, Diamond, what do you think about Queen Chrysalis?” Discord asked

“Queen Chrysalis? I thought this was about Luna.” Diamond, said, confused as to what Discord could have meant by that.

“Ahh, we’ll get to that eventually. But this is much more important. So again, what do you think of her?” Discord asks, taking things more seriously than you anticipated.

“Easy, she tricked everypony, including Anon, and tried to take over Equestria. But that King Thorax guy managed to make all the changelings good with what he learned from the princesses. Then Queen Chrysalis somehow escaped… Wait” Diamond came to a realization “Do you guys know where she is? If you do, you have to let me know! I want to give her a piece of my mind! Using Anon like that? Using me? And everypony else too! That’s just despicable!”

You look to Discord, wondering if you should speak. But he just holds a single talon to you, and prepares his next set of words. “Well, your attitude on that might change when I tell you there was a little more to it than that. Furthermore, that you have no reason to get angry at Anon at all about it, as it was my decision that caused all of it to happen in the first place.”

“Cause all of what? And what do you mean get mad at Anon? Why would I get mad at Anon? Even I was fooled when she was acting like his sister, so I could see how he’d get fooled too. D-daddy Discord, why are you even blaming yourself? Is that the secret? That you blamed yourself for everything that happened? Because I can tell you, that is totally not true!” Diamond said, shocked that Discord himself would blame himself for something, that she felt, was out of his control. Even she knew how manipulative and evil Chrysalis could be. Well, from what she had been told and what she felt anyway.

“Diamond, it’s a little more than that.” You finally take your chance to take the lead, and decide to just start with one of the biggest bombs of the conversation. “I knew Chrysalis way before she showed up as my sister, I was living with her before that.”

“WHAT?!” Diamond said, shocked and even appalled by your words. “You knew her before she was your sister?! What’s that supposed to mean?! Wait…” Diamond’s expression became venomous, soul piercing, and full of anger. Hell, it almost felt she could eat your damn soul with the way she was growling. “You didn’t fall for that hussie, did you?!”

“What?! No! Never! That’s not what happened! I didn’t fall for her, not even once!” Well, you did, but it wasn’t that kind of relationship! “Diamond, I tried to help her! Geh! “ Wait that sounds even worse! “I mean, Help, as in, reform her! Like how Aunt Fluttershy helped reform my Dad!”

“It’s true.” Discord said with a calm shrug “Don’t get mad at him, little Diamond, I did force the both of them to be roomies of a sort for my own personal amusement. And then things changed, odd friendships were formed, worlds were saved, and things were actually more pleasant than one would think. We even got a demented mutant pet out of it, but that is neither here nor there.”

“B-but… Why, how, when?” Diamond went from angry, to hurt. To know you were friends with such a vile creature, to have even maybe colluded with her, all behind her back. She didn’t know what to think. “She’s like, the most evil thing in Equestria. Why would Anon ever try to help her? Even her hive hates her. So why?”

“Diamond, things aren’t so black and white when it comes to all that. Look, relax, please? Let us tell you everything, from the beginning to the now, and then hopefully you’ll understand.” And so, began one of the hardest moments you had in this world. Explaining to a very volatile foal your relationship with an evil tyrannical queen. You and Discord took turns explaining to her nearly every detail that was pertinent and safe for her ears about what went on between you and Chrysalis. Discord even called back the TV to show visual representations, all acted out by alternate versions of himself, of what you and Chrysalis would do together. You both answered all of Diamond’s questions the best you could, and kept her calm on any moment that sounded more shady than it ever had any right to be. Hell, Discord even got the bright idea to have most of what happened in the other Equestria played out through the television, still acted out by other Discords. But even with that performance played out by silly looking Draconequus, one moment stook out to Diamond that pierced her heart. A moment she had to ask about after it was all over. “W-was that supposed to be Daddy? The guy in that car thing? S-so, he really did lose me and mother? T-that’s not an act?”

“Yeah, I know I mentioned it to you before. But this is how it really went down. Even I don’t know what’s happened to him now. But I’m pretty sure he has to be ok. Thanks to me and Chrysalis, and everypony that helped out.” You explain to her, and notice she was starting to get it. She looked sad, but she looked like she was beginning to understand as she just stood there, thinking.

“Hmmm, mnnnn…” Diamond murmured to herself before looking upon the two of you again. “Keep going. B-because it sounds like she was just having trouble being good because she was just used to being evil so much. B-but then, why would she pretend to be your sister? And why would she still want to rule Equestria after helping save one? And that other Chrysalis, she didn’t seem so bad… so erm… Erm… I-I dunno what else to think about, it’s all so confusing.” She really didn’t seem to know what to think about everything she has heard thus far.

“Relax, my dear, relax.” Discord slowly approached her, and began to gently massage behind her ear. You notice Diamond ease her head into his scratching talons slowly, but then went back to a depressive slump as her thoughts began to trouble her once more. “Now then, as to the whole sister fiasco. Well, that would also be my fault…” And again, the explanations continued. This time going into Chrysalis’s goals, how she also saved your life from the X-Captain, and even the fact she actually had a form of respect for you and Diamond’s relationship. Even the fact, that in some way, you really did see her as a sister, and that it hurt you that you couldn’t do more for her and help her see that being evil was a pointless endeavor at that point. The more the both of you spoke, the more Diamond seemed to calm down, nodding along with all your words.

Then finally, it came to an end. “And that’s what happened. So erm, if you have any questions… Y’know…” You were nervous at this point. She was calm, her eyes somewhat watery from the sadder moments, but still she was calm, and most likely processing everything Discord and you told her. “I-I mean, if you’re angry with me, I’m sorry but… mnnn” You hang your head in shame, you really should have told her, given the fact that in the end, she was going to be the one you would marry.

“As I said, you shouldn’t be angry at him. Not all beings that were and are still evil are as refined as I am. It was simply too much for either of us to handle. As much as I hate to admit it, even my charms failed to win her over.” Discord says, trying to act rather humbly as he speaks in your defense.

“I’m actually not angry.” Diamond said, plainly, calm, and collected.

“What?!” Both you and Discord said in unison “You’re not?!”

“No, why would I? You both explained it pretty good. Daddy Discord, you went and pulled a bad trick on Anon because you don’t know any better.” And then Diamond looked to you, as her eyes became ever sharper, a venomous glare that made you take a step back “And the only dumb thing Anon did was not even tell me that I let one of the evilest evil bad guys into my house.” Diamond then hopped off the couch as she stepped towards you, her eyes never leaving your own “Nope, I’m not mad at all about any of it. I’m not even mad at Queen Chrysalis, since it looked like she really was trying to be good in some ways, which I’ll get to in a second. No, the one thing I’m mad about is…” Suddenly her glare becomes fiery as she gives you a heavy slap on the cheek “THE FACT YOU DIDN’T LET ME HELP, YOU DUMBY!”

You nearly fell to your side on that one. Damn, she hits hard when she’s angry, you had trouble re-orienting yourself from that.

When Discord was about to say something, she turned to him, still filled with rage “AND YOU TOO! EVERYPONY KNEW! THE CRUSADERS KNEW! THE PRINCESSES KNEW! BUT I DIDN’T?! I COULD HAVE HELPED! DO YOU BOTH NOT REALIZE SHE COULD HAVE EASILY GOTTEN TO HER HIVE, LIKE, AT ANYTIME?!”

Both you and Discord were silent. Holy shit, she was on a tirade. And what did she mean she could have escaped at anytime? Chrysalis herself said she couldn’t, so how could Diamond just say that? “I mean… Erm, like we said. She was pretty much stuck, and we could track her movements.”

Diamond then angrily points at Discord “Except I know that he doesn’t like to do actual work most of the time, and you weren’t checking that map twenty four seven! If she really wanted to leave, then she could have just convinced some wagon pulled by some strong stallions to take her where she needed to go, with some sob story as to WHY she needed to go there! Uggggh! How could you have not thought of that?!” Diamond groaned angrily as she brought her hoof to her forehead “Boys, I swear, sometimes they can be so dumb! She taught you to dance, Anon, TO DANCE! WITH ME! SHE WAS ACTUALLY TRYING! I COULD HAVE TALKED TO HER!” She growled at you, stomping up to you again as she pointed directly at your face “SHE REALLY WAS PLAYING A GAME WITH YOU! GIRLS DO IT ALL THE TIME! HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT?!”

You shifted your eyes left and right, shaking and sweating, and just shrugged.

“Ugh, I just can’t believe anypony didn't tell me. I know even the princesses wanted it to be a secret, but come on! I mean, they totally aren’t innocent either. Ok, maybe the changelings becoming good was a good thing, but Queen Chrysalis could have probably become good too with a little more time AND WITH MY HELP! Anon, just... “ She gives you a lighter slap this time, as she begins to wind-down, and start to sniffle and cry, until finally hugging onto you, weak “You could have told me, she didn’t seem so bad, she kind of felt like a real sister to me too…”

You just gently nuzzle onto her, letting her rest on your side. You had no idea she felt that way, nor had you ever considered Chrysalis truly had a chance to escape her confinement. Was she just blind to it? Or was she just trying to find a reason to stay a captive. If Diamond really felt this way, you really should have said something. But really, how could you have known she would have been this ok with it? “I’m sorry, Diamond. I didn’t really know what to do either, y’know? I had a lot of pressure on me, I didn’t even want the Crusaders to find out either, it just sort of happened.”

“I know, I just wish I had known. I guess I kind of cared about her too, even if she was just acting as your sister. I-I mean, if I’m wrong, then she really does need to be imprisoned. But you don’t think she’s one hundred percent bad, do you? Do you think she could still be reformed? You said she tried to save you during the test, that’s a good sign, right?” She asks as she continues to nuzzle onto you, now hugging onto you to support herself.

“Yeah, I think there’s still a chance. I really didn’t expect you to care this much either, Diamond. Everypony else pretty much wants her gone, even her own children.” This was true, even the changelings, sans Scrappy, wanted her to be gone forever.

“I know, and that’s sad to me. If she is anything like that other Chrysalis, then she really does care about them, even if it’s an evil kind of caring. Moms always care about their foals, even if they don’t know how to act themselves… Kind of how Mother used to be. I can’t imagine how hurt I’d feel if my foals suddenly just hated me. I just feel kind of bad for her too, even if what happened was a good thing for them.” Again, Diamond was pretty much right on that. Those were her kids after all, and she was fucking pissed when they all basically turned on her. She was always the first to infiltrate, always for their sake, just to provide them food. Even if your heart is evil, you still have to have one to care about such a thing.

“Yeah, you’re right, Diamond. If I see her again, and I can get something set up, I promise to let you help. But only if it’s safe. I don’t know what her state of mind is, but if she wants to confront me over what happened, or vice versa, I still have to make sure everything is ok before I involve everypony else, alright?” You gently rub your hoof through her mane, to help her calm down.

“Alright, I trust you. Please, don’t break your promise, alright?” She asks, with a small whimper.

“I won’t…” You hoped, anyway.

While the conversation seemed to have gone rather well, it did seem to tucker Diamond out emotionally enough to want to make her go home and skip out on both the movie and the explanation of Luna. She wasn’t mind shattered or anything of the sort, it was just a lot to take in and she wanted to sort things out herself. She also asked if you could take her home, something you jumped on immediately so you wouldn’t upset her further. Discord was even kind enough to open a portal directly to her house, in front of her front door. Though, in her emotional state, she chose to hang back with you for a moment, to nuzzle into you and talk. “Anon, how do you do it?”

What? “Do it? Do what?”

“Y’know… balance your life like you do. I’m only hearing about Chrysalis and it’s got me all shaken up, but you had to live it and you don’t seem tired at all. You have had to go through so many things, and yet you still manage to keep going like it’s nothing. So… how do you do it?” She asks again as she closes her eyes, her head settling on your side.

“Always been this way, I guess. Living with Dad helped a lot, but truthfully, I was kind of used to chaos before I even came to Equestria. Things can get tough, but I can usually work it out…. Usually.” That was as truthful an answer as you can give. As long as something was in your favor, you always had a way to make it work. Well, you felt so anyway.

“You are really amazing to be able to handle all that then...mmmm” Diamond let out a love filled sigh “I’m glad that I am with you, for always and forever. Oh!” Diamond suddenly raised her head, as some adrenaline seemed to seep into her body and will. “You do have your vows ready, right? That’s super duper important! It is our future promises after all.”

SHIT! You didn’t have them ready at all! But wait, why are you worried? You still had time, and it’s always easy to come up with sappy shit. “Totally, I have it all set and ready to go. It’s gonna be perfect.” You say with a confident but dishonest smile.

“No, Anon, No!” Diamond whapped your head gently as she berated you, her face suddenly have a cute sense of anger about it. “Not perfect! It has to be ‘just ok’! How can you have perfect vows for the real wedding if you already said them at the fake one? Trim that fat, mister, and make sure your vows are subpar, got it?” Diamond stared hard at you, awaiting your answer.

Uhhhh, errr. Well, at least it made planning your vows that much easier… you guess. Still, she can get so scary sometimes despite being a cute little filly. “I-I meant perfect imperfect! Eheh.”

“Good!” Diamond leans forward, and plants a kiss on your nose before reeling back with a blush on her face, her smile becoming somewhat goofy “Y-you have a good day then, I-I think I’ll just take a small nap, then do some more planning when I wake up, and check up on Silver too. Remember, don’t make your vows perfect.”

“Trust me, I got it covered already. You have a good nap, my sweet. I’m gonna go see if I can scrounge something up to do myself.” Really, your stuff to do was kind of at zero today, you had no idea what to actually do.

“Ok, my love.” Diamond says with a little giggle as she knocked on her door, and awaited an answer. As for you, you gave her a wave, and headed out through the front gates to see if there was anything else you could do for the day.

“Greetings, Anon. I’m glad the spot I chose to wait at was-?!” Suddenly, a voice from behind started to speak to you without you realizing its presence. You end up jumping to the side and slamming your head to the outer gate wall of the mansion grounds and falling to your side. “Anon! I… Are you alright?”

Holy fuck! That came out of fucking nowhere! Hell, it had been such a while since you last bonked your head, probably a day or two, that you actually somewhat felt that. “Ngh, who in the…” You get up rubbing your head with your hoof, only to be staring at the head of the EEA himself, Chancellor Neighsay. Oh booooyyy. You straighten yourself out, and try to get answers while seeming polite “Chancellor Neighsay… Uh, not to sound rude but, why are you here and… being creepy?” Nailed it!

Chancellor Neighsay, surprisingly, was being more polite than he was last time, even a little humble. “My apologies, with the eve of Twilight’s school opening upon us, I decided to seek you out for another mission while also finding out the results of your findings on the changelings since I didn’t receive a letter from you”

Wut? “Another mission? Um, I dunno, I mean, the changelings weren’t up to anything at all, so that ended up being a bust. It’s why I didn’t send a letter… Because you said not to send a letter if I couldn’t find anything.” What is up with this guy? Seriously, not a word from him ever during every other incident, but a school opens up and suddenly everything not a pony needs to be dead, or something like that. And was he really just walking around Ponyville looking for you all this time? Nah, he must have had some way of detecting you or having some idea of where you’d be. “And even then, aren't you an education guy? Shouldn’t these kinds of investigations be left to Celestia or Luna?”

Whatever humble or pleasant formalities Neighsay was willing to show went out the window with your line of questioning as his expression became a look of disappointment and annoyance. “Yes, well, we’ve all seen how well they’ve been able to handle situations like these as of late. As for being an ‘education guy’, that is indeed what I am, but of a much higher order and a deep sense of preservation, love, and duty to protect our fair land of Equestria from those who’d see it destroyed. It saddens me to see you not taking things as seriously as I hoped, and makes me wonder how well a job you even did investigating the changelings, and your commitment to protecting those who need it.”

Now you felt insulted. You did a damned good job checking up on those technicolor pussies, and you already saved Equestria before, two of them in fact, so where did he get off?! “Excuse me, sir, but I put my hundred percent in making sure Equestria didn’t get taken over by the likes of the Storm King, or even Ponyville being destroyed by that gold scaled whatevertooth dragon...guy. Look, I went over there and they weren’t up to anything. Heck, I doubt they are capable of taking down a single rabbit with the way they are now. Without their queen, they are as weak and docile as a foal. You have my word on this. It’s not that I’m even defending them, they are just kind of pathetic, if you wanted my truthful opinion”

“Pathetic… I see.” Neighsay said with a nod, as he seemed to re-evaluate the situation. It seemed he didn’t expect you to say something so harsh, or as harsh a pony would expect. “Perhaps I was wrong about your commitment. Which is why I ask you to do this one last investigation for me, Anon, I need to make sure there isn’t some sort of hidden plan to destroy Equestria. And if the changelings are not planning anything, then perhaps the Dragons are, especially with some information I happened to pick up. Given your run in with the Diamondtooth, I imagine you’ll jump at the chance to see what the dragons are possibly scheming.”

New information? Dammit, you really didn't feel like feeding into this guy’s propaganda and looney conspiracies. But again, if Equestria has a chance of being in danger, and you’re in the know of it, then you can’t just say no. “I might, I wasn’t aware they had the capacity to scheme at all. Always seemed rather dumb to me” You say this for two reasons; to stay on his good side, and because dragons did seem pretty damn stupid.

Neighsay’s tone becomes more pleasant to you, but he doesn’t chuckle or laugh arrogantly like you thought he would. “Indeed, but there is always that chance. Princess Twilight had sent a letter a few days ago to their princess. I don’t know the contents of this letter per se, but it seems quite suspicious to me. I want you to find out what it might contain, and what the dragons are up to, that is all. However, I want you to be discreet about this. We are trying to prevent a war, not start one. I assume, with your magic, you have a way of disguising yourself?”

“I do, and... “ Bah, he didn’t even ask if you actually agreed to it all. Whatever, don’t mention it and shift to something else “What if I turn up with nothing? Plus, I know I’m great and all, but don’t you have any agents or anypony that could have done this? At all? Like not even one guy?”

“No, and it shames me to have to seek a colt’s help for such an endeavor. But you aren’t just any colt, and have proven yourself enough for me to trust in your skills. I shall await your return by your aunt’s cottage. As I understand it, she’s not home, so it will be a safe place for a debriefing. Don’t let me down, Anon, you’re the only one I can trust.” Neighysay says, his tone showing that he actually meant it.

“No problem, I won’t let you down.” You tell him as you place the horn on your head, already figuring out your plan of infiltration “Just no more skulking around me after this, alright? It’s kind of creepy.”

“You have my word, as I’m sure we’ll be too busy dealing with the school soon after, should anything go awry. I mean it, good luck, and stay safe, those dragons won’t hesitate to attack you for stepping on their lands. In fact, I could, perhaps, quickly teach you how to use an artifact I own to make an escape.” He really did seem to trust you, as you’d think whatever artifact he’s talking about might be of great power. Then again, your horn was probably one of the most broken and overpowered ‘artifacts’ there ever was.

“Nah, I’m good, my horn is pretty all-purpose in that regard, even in escapes. Besides, I won’t be caught, so don’t you worry.” You tell him, feeling confident of yourself.

“Right, but I felt I had to take some precautions in case the worst happened. Well then, I shan’t underestimate you again.” Neighsay says

“Trust me, I got this, inside and out. I’ll just go in, check the place out, go out, no problem.” Really, it shouldn’t be that difficult with the proper disguise. Dragons really did seem rather stupid.

“I hope so”

With that, you bid Neighsay a goodbye as you focused your first magical charge of the day to take you to the dragon lands. And oh boy, what a place it was, exactly as you remember it from the show. Barren, volcanic, boiling, with the sea beyond the high mountains. You then took a look at yourself, to see the disguise you had donned on yourself during the warp. You were standing upright, and had bright green scales with charred black edges. You also had spikes going along your back with the same charred motif, though the spikes were a darker green color. Your mouth was longer and pointy, with sharp teeth, but most of all…

“Ahh dammit…” You say as you look at your puny claws and down to the ground, noticing how close it is. “I’m puny, I fucking overdid it”

Welp, you were here, now what do you do? You take a moment to look around the area once more. Yep, still barren, with some dragons flying around or sparring with each other and some others taking dips in the small pools of lava. All of this seemed normal enough, for a dragon anyway. Still, you were going to have to finally find and meet this Princess Ember and see if you could find out what kind of letter Twilight sent to her.

You decide to begin walking around, looking for any sign of the princess. You had no idea where to look, but then again, it didn’t help you weren’t asking around either. But why would you when every dragon here was ugly,pushy, and downright mean? Fuck that shit, you didn’t need one of them noticing your size and calling you puny or some shit like that. You climbed boulders, looked in craters, and slid down declines, but so far you hadn’t been able to find anything. “Where is this bitch? I just wanna do this and ge-WOAH!” And with one misstep, you end up hurtling down a rather steep cliff, smacking your head on boulders as you make your way down the side of a small mountain towards a beach. “AGH! OOF! CRIPES!”

You finally hit the ground, creating a small crater of your body within the sand. You lift your head, dizzy, bruised, and mouth full of sand. Upon spitting it out, you look back in a daze to see how far you fell. It was pretty high, you also noticed a green pair of wings behind you with charred tips… OH GODDAMMIT! “F-fucking…..n-ngh…” Had you known you had wings, you would have… goddamn it, that sucks. You stand up and start to brush yourself off as you mutter angrily. Then you hear it, a voice coming from a cave behind you, and it sounded angry.

You could hear a dragon bitching at some other dragon. What about? Was it a secret? Was this what you were looking for? You decide to venture inside the cave, following the angry voice. Upon making a turn through the open tunnel, you saw… OH SHIT, IT’S THAT GOLD DRAGON GUY YOU BEAT UP! You duck behind a large pair of rocks, trying to calm your now rapid breath. Given the yelling hadn’t stopped, you could surmise you weren’t caught. You slowly look beyond the rocks to see what was going on. That dragon, he seemed rather upset as this small,blue, sleek, and...hot dragon, especially with those sizzling red eyes. She was flying around him at eye level. Even with her downward horns and leaf ended tail, she looked… Holy crap, you didn’t realize how hot dragons could be. Too bad she was super angry looking right now, it actually unnerved you to see that gold dragon upset and scared by such a small dragon. Then again, you also notice her wielding some sort of scepter, did that mean…?

“So let me make sure I got this clear. You left your gem, which you have a million of back in your cave, out in the middle of nowhere. Then somecreature took it and it ended up in a pony bowling alley, which you decided to track down the entire way there despite the fact it was your fault you left the gem out there for anycreature to take. Then, instead of asking for it nicely, since you know, WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS WITH THE PONIES! Ahrm…” The blue dragon calmed herself from explosive anger back to her loud agitated tone “You decide to destroy the bowling alley and attack a colt. A colt, I might add, that kicked your butt so hard that you cried the whole day. Incen, I am really REALLY angry right now. Not only for the fact that you decided to just attack our allies for the dumbest reason, but you totally got crushed by like… what, a six year old or something? There’s making us look bad, and then there’s making us look like a bunch of fuzzy bunnies.”

The gold scaled dragon, who was now meekly tapping his claws together, looked to the blue dragon with a pathetic expression “Yeah, but that gem was really tasty, and that colt was the hero colt for sure! I mean, I could have taken him if I was full and-” But Incen was cut off by another burst of anger from the blue dragon as she pointed her scepter at him.

“HEY, WORM FOR BRAINS! WE’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ATTACKING PONIES AT ALL! THEY ARE OUR FRIENDS, F-R-I-E-N-D-S, FRIENDS!” The blue dragon then smacked his forehead a few times with the scepter “That means we don’t hurt them, and even try to help them if they can’t help themselves, which surprisingly, a lot of them can! How many times do I need to explain this to all of you!?
Geez! I know we hated everycreature for like, ever, but that was then and this is now, and I just want everycreature to just make nice. There are plenty of other losers in this world in need of a real thrashing; I’m talking real big jerks like that Tirek guy. So here’s the deal, Incen, if I hear about you attacking any of those ponies again, I’m going to take your gem hoard myself and give it to a bunch of carpenters, are we clear?” The blue dragon said as she awaited his response

Incen gasped, horrified from what he heard “You wouldn’t! They don’t even eat the gems! They use it as decoration! DECORATION! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! GEMS ARE NOT A CHAIR!” Incen cried, wiping his eyes as he wept incessantly.

“Sheesh, this is just embarrassing. Just get out of here, and remember what I said.” The blue dragon sighed as she pointed to the exit of the cave.

“Y-yes, Princess Ember...ngh...Carpenters, ngh, they don’t even let you eat from their houses. I-it’s not like taking one gem would cause it to fall apart… Nghhhmmm” Incen said with a whine as he stomped out of the cave, still crying from Ember’s threats.

“What a baby” Ember huffed as she hovered down to the ground “Ok kid, come on out, it ain’t cool to eavesdrop on private conversations, you know. The guy has already suffered enough, well, maybe not enough. But as princess, I gotta draw a line somewhere.”

Fuck! She knew you were there the entire time?! Ok, play it cool, Anon, try to gain this cutie’s respect. You slowly slide out from the side of the rocks, acting confident. “Heya, yeah, about that, I was just walking around and just ended up in this cave. Didn’t even know what that’s all about, but it ain’t my business. So, uh, you’re Princess Ember, right? Lookin’ cool”

Ember just raises an eyebrow at you, finding you rather odd “Yeah, sure, ok then.” She was in disbelief that you seemed so ignorant to the point she didn’t really believe you “So you weren’t sneaking around to find out how badly I was chewing out Incen just so you could run back to Garble and his… Wait” Ember steps up to you, crouches down to about your eye level, and narrows her eyes towards you “I’ve never actually seen you before. And you’re way too puny to be hanging out with any of the tougher dragons. What’s your name, squirt?”

“Uhhh-uhmmm” Shit! You didn’t actually think of a name for yourself. Luckily, pop culture has given you many a cool dragon names to use for such an occasion. “I’m uh, Trogdor! The Burninator!”

“Ohhhheewww” Ember grimaced, even her arms shivered as if she just experienced something wretched “Definitely not hanging with any of the tougher dragons. Look, er, Trogdor? I am the princess, you know that. I could totally give you a new official name that won’t get you beaten up by like, everycreature. Because seriously? Even squirrels would laugh at you.”

The hell?! What was wrong with the name?! “What do you mean?! That name is wicked cool!”

“Yeah, sure. Look, I’m serious. How about, Burner? Or Grimstone! Yeah, that’s much better than... whatever you want to call that.” She actually felt sorry for you, as if that name was really that bad. Ugh, dragons just have no taste.

“I’m fine” You say with a grumble

“Not really, but whatever. Look, why are you really here? Can’t be for sightseeing, and it really can’t be to bully Incen, so what is it? Did you just want to talk to me about something?” Ember asked, keeping her patience, as she still felt rather sorry for you.

To talk? TO TALK! PERFECT! You can now use this opportunity to find out all the information you need. “Yeah actually, I heard a rumor something was gonna happen soon that was pony related? I dunno if it’s a good or a bad thing. But…” You kneel, acting polite “For you, Princess Ember, I will act as needed.”

“Oooook, now you’re just getting creepy. Relax, alright? Yeah, there’s something going on but it isn’t anything you have to worry about. It’s more of a matter of friendship. You know, that whole thing I’ve been wanting us all to try. If you heard some rumor about something, then you gotta know about that friendship school, right?” Ember asks you

“Princess Twilight’s school that’s opening up? Yeah, I heard about that”

“Well, there’s a dragon named Smolder I’m gonna enroll in the school. She’s pretty cool, but she’s got a bit of a mean streak that I feel is just her putting up a front. I want her to learn everything there is about friendship, and y’know, hopefully the others will follow. Though, making it public did start to get her messed with by the other dragons, and I kind of feel bad for that. Don’t peg me as mushy though, it’s totally not like that, It’s just, y’know...stuff.” Ember admitted, trying to act aloof and tough about it, when really, she was kind of showing that dragons did have a heart.

Huh, that actually kind of tugged at your heart for some reason. You were ready to write dragons off as major assholes altogether, but this sexy dragon chick, she didn’t seem as bad as the other dragons from the show. And although you haven’t met Smolder, if she’s another candidate like Ocellus, then she might be worth checking out… For reasons. Hey, you had good reasons! She sounded like she needed a friend! “I mean, I could go see how she’s doing, maybe be her friend if it’s really that bad.”

“You’re not gonna mock her or anything, right? Because dragons don’t typically say that kind of thing. Again, kinda creepy. Then again, with a name like that, Well…” Ember sighed and walked over to you, leaning down a bit to give you a pat “Gonna guess you’re probably looking for a friend yourself. Well, Trogdor, I would appreci- er, I give you permission to do that. She’s probably around somewhere, I think she was hanging out with Garble’s gang, something about a magma splash contest.”

“No, I’m not like that. And thanks, for the permission and for talking with me. Now I know why you’re the princess” You say with a grin, she really was kind of cool. And oh, even her headpats was kind of nice.

Ember shoots you a wink and a finger point “You know it, now get out of here, I gotta practice my rock smashing. Been kind of reading th- Just get out before I talk anymore. Already gotta do some writing too, and I really hate that.” Ember says, shooing you away out of the cave.

Well, that was actually a pleasant experience. And Ember was as cool as she was blue. But this Smolder girl, you wondered what kind of dragon she was if she was hanging out with Garble. You remember him from the show, well, that one episode of the show. He was a red dragon with yellow spikes and a bad and nasty attitude. So obviously he wasn’t a good influence when it came to friendship. Though, you had to really wonder why you cared so much as well. Was it due to Neighsay? Ok, sure, you shared some of his sentiments. But this didn’t seem as bad as he made it out to be, nor as much as you thought it could be. Relax, Anon, you’re not out of the woods yet. Ember was a princess, it was her duty to play it cool. But this Smolder can be a real bitch.

Using your wings, you slowly fly up to the sky to scan the area around you. There were many dragons around, flying and doing stupid shit, but you just needed to find some sort of lava pool and….there we go, you spot a group of dragons diving in a lava pool near the volcano in the distance. You decide to fly in low towards their position, and upon getting there, hide behind a few rocks yet again to listen in on what was going on… Hopefully not getting noticed this time.

“And that’s how you do a magma splash boys, pay up, I’m starving here!” There he was, Garble, simmering in the magma. He must have been one of the dragons that just dived in. Having seen the lava splash, it did seem rather impressive. There were a few other dragons, they all seemed rather miffed that they lost some sort of bet as they started pulling out gems. But then, a small orangish dragon with a yellow underbelly and purple spikes stepped up, her light blue eyes filled with anger and determination.

“Hey! I didn’t get my turn yet, Garble. What’s up with that?!” She said with a stomp

“I already told you, you already lost since you’re going to be hanging out with ponies. Besides, you weren’t gonna beat that anyway. Just give me your gems already and save yourself the embarrassment” Garble said, relaxing himself, laying back as if it was all good.

“I told you! I’m not ok with even going to that stupid school! And I’m not giving you anything until you let me have a try! Or are you scared I might be better than you?” The dragon said in a mocking tone. Huh, that had to be Smolder. And once again, unlike the other dragons, she was kind of cute.

Garble suddenly growled as he crawled out of the magma pool “Ain’t no dragon here who is better at this than I am. Fine, give it your best shot, so we can all laugh at you.” Garble said, already tapping his foot with impatience.

“Gladly, just make sure to have your gems ready.” Smolder said as she crouched down, flapping her wings hard as she jetted off into the sky “Here I come!” She said as she began to spin downwards into the lava. And true to her word, the splash she made was colossal. She sprang up from the magma, with a cheery smile, and held out her claws. “And there we go, the perfect splash. Pay up! You lost.”

“Nah, not really…” Garble said, feeling unsure and defeated as he shifted his eyes. Then a cruel smile was planted on his face as he looked to his friends. “Because you still lose points for being a sissy dragon.”

“A sissy what now?! Listen Garble, I won fair and square! Give me your gems and admit I’m better than you!” Smolder growled as she stepped out of the pool, demanding and furious as Garble played it cool.

“Since when do dragons care about ‘fair and square’? Wow, You really aren’t a cool dragon. Especially since you’re going to that school, so that means you lose points. Isn’t that right, guys?” Garble says as he gives a fierce glare to the other dragons. And of course, in typical fashion, they all start to agree with him out of either respect or fear, probably fear, or maybe they really were as much of a jerk as he was.

“Are you kidding me?! I still made the bigg-.....” But Smolder stopped when she could see on everyone’s faces that they weren’t going to change their minds. But it also only served to make her angrier “How about we see how fast I can knock you to the ground? How about that, huh?”

“You wanna go, Smolder? Come on then, bring it! Oh wait, hah, can’t even fight ya.” Garble says with a chuckle, looking at her arrogantly. “I mean, I would, but then the princess would get all up in my face. Not that I’m scared, but I like having a place to live, you understand. You’re the princess’ chosen one, the one who’s going to be all nice and proper when she gets back”

Smolder smacked her knuckles together as smoke started to flow from her nose “She doesn’t have to know.” She was really itching for a fight here, as if she really hated that comment more than she should.

“She doesn’t, but she will. But I’ll be nice, you can keep your gems… If you admit that I’m better than you.” Garble says, crossing his arms as he awaited her answer.

Smolder was shaking her fists. It was clear she just wanted to deck the guy, but she was holding back, as if there seemed to be some weight to his words. Smolder took her gems, and threw them at Garble’s face. It stunned him, but he was still pleased. Smolder kept in her rage as she started to turn around “Take em, I’m never gonna say you’re better than me.” Smolder says as she starts to flap her wings, hovering upwards to fly away.

“Whatever, I still got what I want.” Garble said as he began to laugh, the other dragons joining him as Smolder flies off.

Shit, maybe you should have jumped in and said something. But given your current look, it probably would have made things worse. Still, Smolder was separating herself from the group. You could fly after her; yeah, that is exactly what you’ll do. Make sure she’s ok, and help her out. It wouldn’t be just for her. That Garble, you wanted to make him pay.

You followed Smolder up the higher end of a volcanic mountain, flying low to stay unnoticed as she growled and grumbled her entire flight. There was a long cliff she had flown up to let her frustrations out, pacing and grumbling about how much of a moron Garble was. You yourself was not spotted through any of this, probably because she was so fixated on her anger. You found a smaller cliff above her, and watched stealthily as she paced and complained. “... He thinks he’s so great! He’s gotten shown up before, so what is he even talking about?! It’s not like I wanted to go to that school either! Ugh, why was I even picked?! Just being nominated ruined my cred with everycreature else! Ughhh…mnnn” Smolder began to calm down, and became melancholic as she sat at the edge of the cliff. She rested her head on her hand, and kicked her legs to and fro “I bet if I clobbered that hero colt before Garble could, they’d see me as the coolest dragon ever. I mean, it’s not like I care or anything, but there is that huge pot going on, wouldn’t mind having all those gems.” She then sighs “But what are the chances of even having a shot at the guy?”

Well now, that is interesting. You’d think you’d feel worried, but you actually felt rather honored that there seemed to be some bet going on involving you. You don’t really know why though, and what the stakes really are. As for Smolder herself, the situation made you wonder something. Spike, as a whole, was a pacified dragon already, so it was easy to befriend him. You wondered if you’d be able to make friends with Smolder, a dragon who has yet to meet any pony. Considering how Garble treated her, and Neighsay’s own bias, you wouldn’t mind seeing how things would go. You slowly pop your head out, and wave “Hey! Hey! Up here!”

“And then I, wha?” Smolder looked up, and spotted you. She seemed startled for a moment before angrily pointing up at you “Hey you! What are you doing up there, huh!?”

You open your wings and hop off the cliff, slowly hovering down towards Smolder so you could calmly and coolly introduce yourself “I was following you actually. I saw the way Garble was treating you and thought it was wrong, your splash really was the best.”

Before anything else, Smolder seemed caught offguard by your overall appearance “Oh geez, you’re tiny. But uh, thanks? It was the best but… uh” Smolder really seemed uncomfortable with your presence “Hold on, are you saying you followed me all the way up here for no real good reason? Just to say how good my splash was?”

You nod “Mhmm”

“Creepy…” Smolder said, weirded out by both your casual nature and the fact you followed her

“What’s so creepy about that? I just wanted to let you know that I thought you were right, and that your splash was great!” You said, with a cheery smile.

“So you’re telling me you don’t see what’s so creepy about following anycreature sneakily like that? Or even complimenting them? You do know you’re a dragon, right? Since when did any dragon care about how another one feels?I mean besides Princess Ember” Smolder asked, both intrigued and a tad mortified by your state of mind.

You were about to answer, until your eyes popped open and your body stiffened at the thought that you had no answer for the former question. Given how pedo pony dracula seemed to follow you, you had no right to say sneaking around wasn’t creepy. As for the latter question. “Ok, I’ll give you that first one. But for the second? Come on, are you really gonna ask that after what you just went through? I feel your plight, and I want to help you out in anyway I can. Garble is jerk, but you’re not, right?”

Smolder just looked at you like you were the oddest and craziest dragon on the planet. “You’re right, he is a jerk. And, ergh, how am I even supposed to answer that? I can be a jerk, I’m a great jerk and...ngh! Why do you want to help anyway?! I didn’t ask for it, so the only reason is that you want something from me. What is it? Gems? Because I’m not giving any.” She crossed her arms at you, standing her ground as she looked down on you like you were nothing. But that hesitation in her speech, you knew what trope this was, she wasn’t fully serious about her stance.

“Don’t want any, I just wanna help…” Yes, yes, you do start to develop quite an idea on how to make this all work. An idea that works in befriending Smolder and teaching Garble a lesson. “But if I did have to get something from you, then how about your friendship? You don’t seem like a bad dragon, and I think any badness you got might just be a front.”

“Friendship? Ugh, there’s that word. Maybe you should be the one to go to that school instead of me. Why do you want to be friends with me anyway? I’m the sissy dragon, remember? Considering how puny you already are, if any of the dragons see you with me, they might beat you up.” Smolder sighs, and waves her hand at you to shoo you away “Just leave me alone, alright? It’s not that I care about your safety or anything, I just want to er… Plan how I’m gonna crush that Hero Colt guy.”

Time to find out why that is. “The Hero Colt? Huh, why do you wanna beat him up so bad?”

“Because, after he beat up Incen, it made the rest of us look like weaklings. So a bunch of us decided to pool our gems together as a big bet to see who could take him down! Only problem is that the guy lives really far from here, and then there’s the fact that a lot of the dragons kind of realized how stupid the bet was in the first place. Really, the only reason I threw my gems in was because Garble couldn’t keep his stupid mouth shut, saying how great he is and stuff. Considering how he’s been treating me, I just wanna bring him down, the gems are just a bonus. Realistically though, I doubt the hero colt is gonna show up any time soon. I know he lives in Ponyville, but I gotta play nice when I get over there. Really, the whole situation just stinks.” Smolder said with a sigh as she sat down, huffing about the situation.

So that’s really what it was, hmmm. She just wants to stick it to Garble, now that is something you can work with. She doesn’t seem too bad, she hasn’t really treated you like shit over your size, though she isn’t aware of your ‘dragon’ name yet. You wonder how’d that would go. “I see, I see. Well, Smolder, I mean what I say. If you’d be my friend, then I’d be happy to not only be yours, but also get you all them gems. How does that sound?”

Smolder just burst out laughing, nearly falling on her back from how hilarious that was “Hahaha! Oh man! Are you serious?! That’s the best joke I’ve ever heard! There is no…” But when she saw that you weren’t laughing, and really standing there with an eager face, she realized right then and there that you were serious, and it irked her to no end. “Oh wow, you really meant it. Look, errr, whoever you are, you’re shooting too high here. You can’t just say you can make something happen when you really can’t. Well, you could, I would if I got something out of it. But all you’re asking me for is some stupid friendship between the both of us. Look, I…” Smolder sighs again when she notices that you wouldn’t relent with your adorably toothy grin smile. “I appreciate it, ok? Nice dragons are usually dumb to even think about, but… It does feel kind of good to know one dragon out there cares. What’s your name anyway?”

You stand tall and proud “Trogdor! The Burninator!”

Smolder nearly chokes when she hears that, and has to look away as she felt a huge amount of embarrassment for you “Ow, wow, that’s… Y’know, Princess Ember might be able to change that name for you if you want. Because it’s pretty bad, your parents must really not like you.”

Her too?! “What is wrong with the name?! It’s totally cool!”

But she didn’t agree “You want me to be honest? It sounds like a name some loser came up with. The kind of loser even a moron could run circles around. Heck, he’d probably make some dumb theme song to go along with it just because he would think it sounds cool, when really, it’s just annoying.”

You raise a claw to try to make a counterpoint. But then you realize the truth of the situation, and remembered that’s exactly what it was. Ogh, Anon, why do you forget such things? “O-ok, b-but that’s just an opinion. Look, I can help you, I swear, but let’s just drop the whole name thing, ok? I get it, my name is bad.” And then you mutter to yourself, making sure she can’t hear “But the song is awesome... don’t knock the song”

“Alright, I guess.” Smolder shrugs “You already know who I am, so that gets the lame introductions out of the way. But I really gotta ask again, are you even sure about wanting to be friends with me? Even though it’ll look bad on you?” Smolder asks you again, this time sounding more genuinely worried for you.

And you could sense it, the fact that she seemed to be worried about your well being, it made you feel rather shmuckish to have come at all if it really turned out she wasn’t all too bad. Neighsay wasn't gonna be too happy with your report, but whatever. “I’m absolutely sure, that’s why I’m willing to help you get that Hero Colt guy.”

Smolder let out a doubtful chuckle as she put her hands to her hips, looking at you with humored disbelief “Really? Now this I gotta hear since you seem so sure. How do you plan to help me get him? We don’t got a lot of time, and it’s not like he’s just gonna show up. Plus, what’s in it for you?”

“Nothing, I really don’t want anything other than being your friend, that's it. In fact, I want to ask that no matter what, from now on, if I can bring you the hero colt, you’ll be friends with me. That fair?” You started to feel smug, oh man, she won’t see this coming.

“Trogdor, if you could somehow get him here right now, I’ll uh… I dunno, marry you or something.” Smolder was obviously joking about that, she was just that sure you wouldn’t be able to do it.

You chuckle at her “You may wanna take that baaaaack” You say in a cocky sing-song way.

“Ok, don’t get obnoxious on me. We both know you can’t actually do it. Sheesh, what’s with you anyway? I thought you were just being stupid optimistic, now it feels like you’re just messing with me.” Now Smolder was starting to find you annoying, not wanting to feel any worse than she already was due to Garble’s asinine ways.

“You can kind of say it’s both.” You say as you begin to glow, magic shooting out of your body the moment you turn into a bright light.

“Woah! HEY! What the?! Trogdor?! What’s going on! Why are you glowing like that?!” Smolder had to take a step back, the bright light becoming overwhelming.

“Behold, Smolder. For I am not actually Trogdor, or even a dragon!” You bellow in a deep voice as the light begins to dim. “BUT I AM THE ONE YOU ACTUALLY SEEK! I AM THE GREAT! THE POWERFUL! THE AMAZING!” And there you stood, standing heroically with a strong leaderly look “HERO COLT, ANON! Hold the applause.”

“What?! No way! NO WAY!” Smolder was utterly bewildered, she hadn’t even been able to process what exactly happened yet “You’re not even a dragon?! You’re THE Hero Colt?! That… That’s impossible!” It looked like she refused to believe it, she didn’t even seem hurt that you were fooling her all this time.

“How is it impossible? I would have thought my ridiculous magic powers would have been well known at this point.” You tell her, still standing as majestically as possible.

“Because, you’re puny. You look like a doll or something. I’m afraid that even touching you might pop you like a- Wait a second! You’re a pony!” Smolder points at you in surprise.

“...Uhhh, yeah. And I’m not that small! Ok, I am sorta small! But I am the hero colt! Yes, the same hero colt who sent that dragon guy packing. If I wasn’t the hero colt, how else would I get here?” Like damn, now she noticed?

“I don’t know! But what I do know is that… That…” At first, Smolder looked like she was now ready to fight you. But then suddenly she just stopped herself, and began to rub her head in confusion. “Nope, can’t do it, even if you are the hero colt. I mean, look at you, how am I supposed to hit you without breaking you into a million pieces? I mean, yeah, if you’re him I wanna crush you and all, but this is kind of ridiculous.”

WAS SHE SERIOUS?! You began to hop around like a toy poodle as you barked at her “I’m not that weak! Or small! Or easily broken!” Actually, it kind of surprised you that she wasn’t following a certain trope “And aren’t you surprised I wasn’t who I said I was?! I had this whole thing going and you don’t even acknowledge it!”

“You do know where you are, right? Dragons mess and lie to each other all the time, the fact that you did it doesn’t surprise me. Though, now that you mention it. What was your plan, anyway? To fight me? To fight all of us? A vacation? Finish off Incen? I really can’t guess, because I already kind of knew in the back of my head that you really didn’t want to be friends with me. I mean…” Smolder, as confident in her words as she was seeming, suddenly stopped when the prospect of being lied to about friendship suddenly hit her, she didn’t even have any words to finish that sentence with.

So you decide to finish the thought for her, to let her know the truth about how you feel. “But I do want to be friends with you, Smolder. Yeah, I’m a pony. And, ugh, I guess I am THAT small. But I did beat that Incen guy, and I do mean it when I say I want to beat up Garble and help you win all those gems. Please, believe me, you seem cool enough to be friends with.” Well, you didn’t know if she was actually cool to be friends with, given how she has insulted you thus far. But she seems tough, quick witted, and nice to be around. Again, kind of the opposite of what you expected.

Smolder just stood there, silent for a moment as she contemplated the information in front of her. Finally, she calmed down and tried to assess the situation verbally “So let me get this straight. You really are the hero colt, you want to be my friend for some reason, and you wanna… Wait.” She then realized something extra “Are we just going to do the dishonest thing and do a fake fight that I’m gonna win? I’m right, right?”

“I mean, yeah. Then again, I think dragons have some honor code, right? Sorry if it sounds insulting.” Really, you didn’t mean to offend.

“Woah, hold on, you’re confusing things. I’m totally down for being underhanded and sneaky to win those gems. But two things, one, I really wanna see you beat the snot out of Garble. And two, Well… Are you really the hero colt? I mean, you’re not pulling my leg or anything?” Smolder, again, started to sound worried.

“Yeah, I really am. I promise. Also, beating Garble is no problem. In fact, he’ll make a good test dummy for all my newfound skills.” You say, feeling confident in your abilities.

“Yeah, yeah, sure. It’s just, you’re kind of going really out of the way for a dragon who wants to beat you up. I mean, you were attacked by a dragon not too long ago, so it really doesn’t make any sense to me at all why you care.” Smolder says, with some doubt still hanging around herself.

“Like I said, you seem pretty cool, and I want to help. Beating up Garble is just a bonus. I’m not usually an advocate for silly friendship stuff. But if you are willing to be my friend, then I’m willing to be yours. That alright with you?” You say as you give your legs a few stretches to get them ready for a fight.

“Yeah…” Smolder starts to feel unsure, rubbing the back of her head as she looks up “I mean, friendship is kind of different for a dragon, just to let you know. So, the second thing I wanted to mention is, well, if you do wanna be friends and do this for me, then just know I won’t owe you anything and…” She looks at you, still feeling some doubt that you were able to topple the dragon known as Incen. “I just have this annoying feeling in my chest. I kinda don’t want to risk you getting hurt. Because, well, you seem pretty cool too. I’ve never heard of any pony ever wanting to help a dragon win by cheating, and I never met a pony so small who was willing to do something dangerous just to help me out. Look…” She sighs, annoyed with the entire situation “Just promise me you actually have this handled. Because you’ll owe me big time if I have to save your butt, you understand?”

You nod to her, and give her a cheerful smile “I understand. So uh, can I have a hug from my beautiful wife?”

“What?! H- oh… I wasn’t being serious, you know” Smolder blushed there for a moment, feeling utterly embarrassed about her deal from earlier. Even then, you didn’t stop giving her that sunny smile “How was I supposed to know you were him?! A dragon’s word is not binding! Stop looking at me like that! Ugh, do you really want a hug? Will you stop if I do?”

Well, she was cute. You totally wanted to feel how it would be to hug a cute dragon, so you just silently nod your head up and down.

“Great… Really gotta watch your words, Smolder.” She says as she knocks on her own head with her fist. She then looks over the cliff, and in the sky, for any dragons that might be about. “Ok, here we go.” She says when she sees that the coast is clear. You get eager as she picks you up and gives you a surprisingly gentle hug, her belly being quite warm. But then she whispers “If anycreature finds out about this, I’ll break every bone in your body. You got me?”

You let out a half worried and half satisfied chuckle “G-got it.”

“So this is where we’re gonna be fighting, huh? It seems ok, kind of beat up though.” You stood on a small rock island a few ways away from the coastline. It seemed to be an old fighting arena of some kind. No seats or anything fancy like that, just some broken rubble on the floor and beautiful but rustic and slightly broken gem spires on the four corners of the island. It was small to be sure, plenty of room to fight and observe, but that was about it. “And you’re sure I can fight here without it causing an issue to any of the other dragons?” You had mentioned to Smolder that if the fight was going to go down, that it had to somehow happen without some war breaking out. Conveniently, she had a place to fly you to that would solve such a problem.

“Yeah, this place is an ancient battleground where dragons used to fight each other just to be right in an argument. Heck, there’s even an official dragon law that says that whatever happens in this arena is between the two fighters and that’s it. This place is pretty legendary, it is said that the dragons that fought here were the best of the best, and always fought with honor and integrity.” Smolder explained to you as she walked to one of the spires to give it a tap, taking notice that the gem was still pretty steady for being so old.

“I mean, it exists. How can it be legendary if it’s right here where everycreature can see?” You ask, not understanding at all how that makes sense.

Smolder turned back to look at you, shaking her head in response to your ignorance “It’s not the place, it’s just the story of it. How many dragons do you know fight with ‘honor and integrity’?”

“Ohhhh, I guess that kind of thing would be legendary to you guys, huh? Well, either way, it just means we can make sure we go by that legend by making the fight physical only. Really, I’m sure I can outsmart and outclass Garble despite my size. It’ll be funny” You say as you start to play with a pebble, actually being skilled enough to maneuver it around the stone floor with ease. It made you feel more confident to be so dexterous with your hoof.

“Yeeeeaaahhh, I doubt Garble would agree to that. And even if he did, he’d probably cheat. Though, considering you did beat Incen, I’m gonna take a guess you have a cheat of your own. It’s that weird horn around your neck, right? How does that thing work? I know you can turn into a dragon, but it has to do more than that.” Smolder said as she looked upon your Sombra Horn, nearly bringing up a claw to give it a tap.

“It lets me do anything of everything. You ever heard of Discord? Well, I’m his son!” You say, grinning as you spread your legs for a pose, looking high to seem greater than you were.

Smolder just stared at you, unimpressed. “Uh huh, no idea who that is, but I’ll take your word for it. So then, sounds like you have plan. Just so you know, once the fight starts, it’s just you and him, nocreature can step in or anything like that. So, are you ok with that? Can you really do this?” At this point, you could sense the small worry in her voice. You could tell you gained her reluctant friendship, but you also understood it really would most likely be one on one once the fight starts, she wouldn't step in at all to help unless it got truly serious. Still, no worries, the moment the asshole tried anything, you’d show him real chaos.

“I’m fine with it, I’m feeling pretty confident. And trust me, I can get him to agree to physical only…” You shrug, feeling rather arrogant “I mean, how soul crushing would it be if he couldn’t even beat me with his bare claws? Am I right?”

“Huh, good point. Heh, now I’m really excited! Ok, I’m gonna go get him and his cronies, so get ready!” Smolder said as she crouched, and prepared to fly off.

“Gotcha, I already feel like celebrating my victory. Haha!” You wish you could grip a hand like some anime guy, the flatness of your hoof did a poor job of empathizing your excitement.

“So do I, just, Y’know, make sure you win. I’d… erm. Look, I guess we really are friends now, because…” Smolder looks around to make sure no one was looking, and stands back up “I’m just gonna say it, I am worried about all this, and I don’t wanna see you get hurt. Don’t get me wrong, I wanna see you smack Garble silly, that’ll be fun, but I don’t want to see you get pounded because of it. So, just promise me you’ll be ok, ok? I’d hate to lose a friend I just made.” Smolder was finally looking at you with a soft and gentle look, with yet a sense of toughness still about it. She accepted you, and for that, you’d make sure Garble’s loss would be more than spectacular.

“I promise. It’s nice to have you as a friend too, Smolder, you’re pretty cool. Maybe…” Ogh, oh man. There it was, a pain in your heart. You now had to internally admit that you were now going to attend Twilight’s school for the sake of a friendship, maybe even more than one as far as Ocellus was concerned, what a bother. “...We can hang out at Twilight’s school. It’ll be a week after opening, but I’ll be attending there after that.”

“You are? Well…” She hesitated once more, and even tensed for a moment, feeling unsure about her next words. She tensed more and more with every half moment, until finally she went loose, slumped, and sighed. “Yeah, way too late to act any kinds of tough. Sure, it’d be cool to hang out, and be in the same classes, however those are. Only thing is that, and I am putting my foot down on this, we aren’t any kinds of married, alright? I don’t care if it’s a joke, I don’t want anycreature even thinking it, Ok? It’d be really weird walking around school with everycreature thinking we’re a thing. Other than that, it’d be nice to hang, do homework together, skip school if it gets too boring, stuff like that. Anyway, I’m gonna get the moron now, so just be ready.”

You nod “I will, trust me Smolder, this is gonna as smoooooooth as butter.” You say with a wink. Thankfully, she doesn’t seem too doubting, especially since she gives you a thumbs up before finally flying off.

You decided to do a few hops and jumps at first, bucking into the air and speedily moving from side to side. You felt lighter, stronger, and your movements were much more quick than before. Man, you may not have been able to crush that dragon statue with your skills, but Garble will be the next best thing. After some time, you finish your warm up routine and get an idea. You decide to hide behind one of the spires, and await your ‘cue’. Basically, you wanted to give Garble a sense of dread before you pop out, most certainly to be laughed at. You’d play it cool, and then show that fuck whats up when the fight finally starts.

After what seemed like another ten minutes, You could see Smolder returning to the island with a small group of dragons, four of them to be exact, with one of them being your target. They all land, and as expected, Smolder already seems tense from your ‘absence’. Garble just steps forward, looking around, smacking his fist into his palm. “So where is he? You said he was right here, right?”

“Garble…” in the group, was a rather muscular and larger dragon with thick arms and smaller wings. And yet despite this, he looked as scared as a kitten. “M-maybe we shouldn’t be here, what if it’s a trap? What if he’s ready to strike from around the corner?”

“Maybe you all should stop being wimps and get your act together! It’s just one pony! One pony who I’m gonna flatten in a few seconds, if I can even find him.” Garble, not being too bright, started overturning rocks and pebbles, and pushing around the very few human sized boulders in his vicinity.

“But what if he bites you with his razor sharp teeth!?” A meek and long orange dragon cries out, with panic in his eyes and twisted horns.

“Or he snaps you in two with his beefy legs?” A fat and portly black dragon says as he looks around nervously, he was only a little bit bigger than you, and nowhere near as cute.

“Or just eats us all?! Garble, I’m just-” But the beefy dragon who tried to warn him is once again shut down by Garble's arrogance and growing agitation.

“Will you all shut it already!? It’s embarrassing, c’mon, it makes us all look bad. I’m not Incen, I’m Garble, the greatest and coolest dragon that has ever existed ever! And you’re all going to see that today. Smolder, where is he?!” Garble practically had smoke coming out of his nose as he grinded his fist into his palm. Ok, so he wasn't scared like you thought. Still, you could work with this, it meant he'd totally agree to whatever deal you gave him if it made him look better.

“He was here, I know he was. And just to let you know, I could take him too. I’m not afraid of him at all.” Smolder said, as she began to feel betrayed by your sudden disappearance.

“Yeah? Well good, at least you have some backbone, even if you’re still a sissy dragon. But if he was here, and he’s gone now, then I guess that means I technically win, since I was the one who wanted to challenge him first.” Garble said as he crossed his arms, already trying to greedily take an unearned victory. And that was exactly your cue.

“Now hold on there! A jerk like you deserves nothen but a good butt beating. Prepare yourselves, as I, Anon, the Hero Colt, makes the scene!” You shout from behind the rightmost gem spire.

Immediately, the three cowardly dragons grab hold of each other as they hear your voice. Smolder calms down, and not only realizes what you're doing, but shakes her head in embarrassment from your cheesy bravado. Garble however, steps closer to the ring, demanding your presence. “So you are here, huh? Where are you?! Come out so I can give you a beat down!”

“I’m right here!” You finally make your grand reveal, hopping out to the side, and stepping up to Garble as you give him an intense and scary stare… which no one found scary. In fact, the moment you hopped out, everyone but Smolder began to laugh and point at you.

The portly one was rolling on the ground laughing. “That’s him?! He’s smaller than I am! What a runt!”

The long one nearly tied himself into a knot “Oh boy! Incen lost to him?! And here we thought that guy was tough!”

The buff one began to crack his knuckles as he looked at you hungrily “Well, if that’s the case, I guess that means I'll have to take him d-” But before he can finish that sentence, Garble points at him, growling, acting as the dominant one of the group.

“You chumps aren’t doing anything! You all were ready to wet yourselves on the way over here, and now you want to fight? Too bad, I said he’s mine, and that's how it’s gonna be. And sure, maybe this won’t make me the coolest dragon ever, but I’ll be eating like a king for weeks.” Garble said this with so much fierce authority, that the other three actually buckled to his words, and withdrew from stepping forward. Garble nodded to himself, victorious and proud, and then looked to Smolder with a grin “Now I see why you were so ready to fight him. Step off, Smolder, you don’t deserve anything! He’s mine!” Garble pointed at himself.

Smolder made a fist with her right hand, she wanted to punch him so much. But she looked to you for a moment, and saw your confidence. She knew she’d have her chance, so she took a breath, cooled down, and shrugged as she walked back to join the group “Whatever, would be a shame if you lost though.”

“Me, lose? Ha! If I lose, then I’ll put on a diaper and ask for binky, which, by the way, ain’t gonna happen. Either way, every dragon here is obligated to give me everything once I obliterate this shrimp.” Garble reminded everyone as he walked over to you, feeling so sure of himself that when he finally stood close to you, face to face, he just let out a small cackle as he put his arms to his side “Heya, Hero Colt, I’ll be your butt kicker today. Any last words? I’m feeling pretty generous today, so it can be lengthy if you want. I don’t care, we already know who’s gonna win anyway.”

Hm, this guy was pretty tall compared to you. But don’t falter, Anon, just stick with what you know and remember your training. Rainbow Dash may be pretty dumb, but she’s an athlete for a reason, and she did have the backing of the Wonderbolts… Even though they are kinda worthless. Whatever, magic if things go awry, remember that. “Yeah, I got a few words. I heard this place was some ancient dragon fighting arena or whatever. With rules and everything. So how about this, we fight using physical attacks only. No magic, no fire breath. That way, we can see who really is the best fighter in the land. Remember, I did beat that other guy, so you can’t just brush me off as weak. Or are you scared that you can't beat me 'drago y ponyo'?”

“What?! I’m not afraid of anything! Especially not scrawny little freaks like you! Fine, I’m game. I’ll be nice and hold back from turning you into ashes, just because I’m that awesome. So, you ready then?” Garble said as he pounded his fists together and spread his legs, seemingly ready to strike.

“You bet” You say as you crouch, wiggling your tiny butt and getting ready to dodge.

“Cool, but since this is all honorable and stuff, I’ll be sportsdragonlike and give a countdown. On my word, we let the scales and fur fly, got it?” Garble said, with an unsettling and dishonest air about him.

“Sure, go ahead, I’m ready on the word ‘go’ “

“Alright, cool. So, Ready, seeeeeeeeet” But before he even says go, he lunges at you, and grabs you with both his hands. Admittingly, this actually caught you off guard. You were now in his grip, your legs just loose enough to flail about.

“What the?! You said on your word!” You pointed at him angrily, what the fuck?!

“Yep, I just didn’t say what word that was. Time to go night night, Hero Colt!” Garble cackled, and reared back his head for a mighty headbutt. Before you could even react, he smashes his head right onto yours in an attempt to knock you out in a single blow. “r-r-RAGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AGHHHHHHHHH!” But what happened instead was Garble dropping you, holding on to his own head as he staggered backward, crying out in pain as it felt like his skull nearly split. Hell, the smack was so hard, you even felt a physical sense of the pain he was in, but not so much yourself.

You let out a soft grunt as you hit the ground. Other than a tiny bump however, you were fine, you just sat on your butt and gave your head a cute little tap with your foreleg to make sure everything was intact. “Huh, everything seems ok. How ya doin there, Garble?”

Garble didn’t answer, he just continued to whine as he held on to his head. The other dragons were confused and even cringing, as the sound of a crack echoed into the distance. As for Smolder, she was already smiling to herself.

“That’s what I thought, BELLY SMASH!” You rush up towards Garble, hop with a 180 spin, and buck Garble’s gut. It seems with your newfound abilities, you were finally able to do some aerial damage as he ended up grabbing his stomach with a groan.

“Hnnngh, NGHHH! Y-you’re gonna….NGH, Ogh… P-pay…” Garble was doing his best to recover. You wanted to make another attack, but you could tell he was getting ready to counter in someway if you approached again.

“Pay? Is that before or after I kick your butt? And what hospital do I have to pay upfront for your care? I’m not familiar with the area.” You say, laughing at him as you do.

“T-that’s it! Y-you're dead!” Garble finally loses it, and rushes you, claws bared. His temper was short to be sure. He has had enough, and turned to his more feral instincts as he rushed you to tear you apart.

Oh man, you had this in the bag.

“Left, Left, Right, Dodge, Roll, haha!” You were announcing your movements out loud as Garble blindly tried to take swipes at you, demanding that you hold still. Indeed, the battle was on, but the match up was unbalanced. You were small, and due to your training, much quicker; Garble was unable to land a single blow while he rushed you blindly, and was too large and lumbering to be accurate. On the other side of the coin, however, when the guy decided to rush at you on all fours to try to keep up with you, you found yourself able to counter with a few bucks to his face whenever you hopped his swipe; the problem was that even with your power up, it barely even stunned him. Your head truly was your greatest asset.

“Hold still, you little punk! I’m gonna turn you to soup once I get my claws on you!” Garble said with a growl, becoming near feral as he randomly swings his arms whenever he gets near. Man, he must have gotten really angry real quick after that head bash. Then again, even when the fuck cheated, he ended up outplaying himself. And as uncoordinated as his attacks were, you couldn’t dodge forever. You had to think of something, but what? Oh wait, you could start with his stupid sentence.

“Woah, hold on there!” You hop backwards as far as you can and hold your hoof up at him “Turn me into soup? How would you even do that? I’m solid and meaty.” You pound at your chest “See? Puuuure muscle!”

Garble, in all his idiotic glory, actually stops and stands on his two feet as he looks at you, annoyed, yet intrigued. “What do you mean I can’t turn you into soup? I’m Garble, I can do anything! I’ll just grab you and, er… Um.” He stopped to ponder, but unlike most combatants you had to deal with, his brain fried in nearly seconds “Look! I’ll just throw you in a cauldron and cook you IN a soup! That way it still counts! So there!” He sticks his tongue out at you.

“But that’s just putting me into a soup, not making me a soup. Although…” You tap the bottom of your muzzle as you falsely ponder. Oh yes, you were gonna give him quite a revelation indeed. “I may know a way to turn me into a delicious soup. But ah, you wouldn’t want to hear it, you like ponies too much to do something like that.”

“What?! Who even said I liked ponies?!” Garble looked back at his group with divine kinds of hatred as he pointed at them inquisitively “DID ANY OF YOU PEABRAINS GO AND TELL EVERYCREATURE THAT I LIKE PONIES?!”

The group steps back, shaking their hands and saying none of them ever thought that. Smolder just chuckled, enjoying the show.

“It’s not funny, Smolder! Stop laughing! Grahh!” Garble then looked to you, pointing angrily and stomping his foot as if he was throwing a tantrum “I HATE ponies! I hate them! I hate them so much! Alright?! It’s not funny because it’s not true! So you know what?! Tell me how to make you into soup, then you’ll see how much I really hate ponies!” Oh yes, he was demanding those answers.

“Well, you see, it’s a pretty big secret. So…” You beckon him to lean in with your hoof “Come super close so I can whisper it to you.” Holy shit, no way, he really was dumb enough to fall for this!

Garble slowly leans in, turning his head so he could hear you. “Ok, I’m listening. It better be good, pony.”

Oh god, he really did it. Ahh well, might as well oblige him. “Well, the secret to turning me into soup, is getting a skull splitting headache.”

“What? Did you say aaaaHHHHGHHHH!” With the sound that could be compared to a meteor, Garble screams as his head smashes into the ground. You slammed your head so hard into his that it actually was comparable to being hit with a small truck, or that was your guess. You cackled as you took the advantage.

“Hahaha! You actually fell for it! Moron! Oh, ever heard of the one-two? Well here comes the two!” Just as Garble was raising his head, you used your own as a mace and side swung it to the side of his face, knocking him back to the ground as he rolled a few ways away from you before stopping flat on his belly once more. Holy shit, your head was a fucking wrecking ball. Hold yourself, Anon, don’t start singing now.

“I can’t, ngh… I can’t lose…” Garble was having a hard time getting up, his vision was blurry and spinny. It was actually kind of admirable that he was still willing to fight, but it was clear you now had the perfect weapon to beat him, and you were going to make sure he’d go down. Garble balanced himself, raised his arms, and tried to stabilize himself as he prepared for another go.

“Garble, you’re done. Just admit you lost already. Sheesh, it’s embarrassing.” Smolder taunted, enjoying so much that you had the upper hand. “The way I see it, the Hero Colt is more of a dragon than you are. And I’m gonna say it, much cooler too. If I actually knew him, eh, I’d be his friend.” She looks to you, and gives you a wink. Awww, she really was pretty cool.

“No! N-NO! H-He’s not even a dragon! Grah! I’m r-really gonna pound you now!” Garble staggered backwards, in a daze, and tried pouncing at you. But he was so out of it, he jumped too early and landed and slid right in front of you.

“Oops! Looks like you stopped a bit short there, buddy. Hmm, is this too crude? Hmmm… A lot of people would cringe pretty hard if this happened in the show. But fuck it, it’d be so satisfying to do it personally. Hey Garble, Time to smell the brimstone!” You just had to, you simply did. You turn around, and release a heavy fart right into his nostrils. The reaction was immediate, Garble got up like he was fully rejuvenated and wobbled back as he covered his nose, his eyes watery. “Ahh, love the smell of chaos in the afternoon. Give it up, stupid, you can’t beat me. Why don’t you let that girl dragon have a try? She’s got some spunk. Well, you might have some of that on your nose too, but I digress.” You said as you laughed at him, god he was dumb.

Garble’s eyes nearly burst into flame as he looked upon you, recovering from his haze and shaking his fists in rage. He wanted your blood now, and he was using everything he had to stay focused on your demise. He entered a charging stance, and prepared to rush you once more, taking a deep breath as he did so.

This strategy again? Was this all he knew? Fine, time to finish this off. You prepare yourself for one more head bash, this time you’d jump and bring your head down with enough force to shatter steel. Just prepare yourself, Anon, just watch his movements. He was almost in position, no changes, go for the knockout!

“Huh, what? Oh no! ANON! GET OUT OF THERE!” Smolder, however, had noticed something you didn’t. She had seen that Garble had opened his wings. She was already quick to deduce that he wouldn’t be able to hit you if he was too high in the air, not with his fists anyway.

“Wha, huh?” You step back in surprise, but it was only a step, and not enough to dodge what was coming. Garble feinted back with a hop and flew up in the air. He wasted no time in immediately exerting a line of flame towards you. It seems the breath he took before his charge was to prep his stream of flames. Smolder’s callout was enough to make you wary and try to dodge out of the way, but it wasn’t enough for you to utterly avoid it, especially since Garble’s flame attack was rather large in size. You feel the immediate burning pain of fire across most of your body as you fly back and slide across the floor. You avoided death, but now you were hurting really bad, you could barely move. How?! How could one attack do this to you? You were so close… “N-Ngh…” You were scorched, burnt badly, and even your lungs felt like they were on fire. Had you moved a second later, this could have been it.

Smolder, and even the group of dragons gasped in surprise from Garble’s action. The three that followed him were jerks to be sure, but they either didn’t want to deal with the consequences of his actions or they actually felt bad for you. Smolder, however, was utterly livid as she rushed over to you and looked at Garble with anger. “What’s the big idea?! What happened to this being a clean fight?” Smolder said as she looked upon you, she could see patches of burnt fur and skin on you. “Anon, hey, come on! Snap out of it! Are you ok?!” You were barely moving, she had half a mind of just picking you up and taking you to Ember for help.

“I knew it! I knew you were in league with him!” Garble said as he landed, and pointed at Smolder with hurtful accusation “I knew you were a pony lover! Look guys, didn’t I tell you?!”

But the other three? Yeah, even they knew, for sure, things were going too far. The portly one stepped back, and waves his hands at Garble “I-I didn’t see anything, and I heard nothing. I don’t want to deal with Princess Ember.”

The long one ducked behind the strong one, afraid of what the situation has become “C-can we just go home? This is too much for me.”

And the stronger one? Even he knew what was up. “Yo, Garble, this is ancient ground, and you just roasted a colt. I don’t want anything to do with this anymore.”

“Cowards! We’re dragons! We’re not supposed to play fair! He wanted a fight? Well I gave it to him, so you all better not think of jumping out of the bet now! I’m the best, I’m the coolest, and I’m the winner!” Garble stood there triumphantly, but then began to wobble as his adrenaline flow began to slow down. He started to rub at his head as it began to hurt “B-but now I got a headache, ugh, it really stings.”

Smolder was about to get ready to get up and smack the living shit out of him. But she stops when she notices you turn your head to look at her. You were barely able to mouth words as you began to point at your horn. “Head….h-head.”

“H-hey, relax, you’re really hurt, ok? I’m gonna get you some help.” Smolder was blaming herself for this, her selfishness of wanting to win the bet was scathing her soul. She just wanted to best Garble, even if it was an underhanded way of doing it. But despite your one meeting with her, you had treated her with more respect than any other dragon she had met before. But you yourself wouldn’t relax, and you just kept repeating the same word as you pointed to the horn. “Huh? You… Anon, you’re really hurt, ok? This isn’t the… I said relax! Geez, fine! If it’ll get you to calm down, then I’ll do it!” You just wouldn’t stop, and tried harder and harder to communicate with her, even trying to wiggle out of her grip. It was enough for her to finally give in to your strained demands. She grabs the horn and gives it a tug, noticing how restrictive it was when she held it, as if the necklace connected to the horn was enchanted. But she didn’t need to take it off, just place it on your head. And when she finally did so, your eyes began to glow yellow and red as you floated out of her grip. “Anon? W-what?!”. Indeed, what was happening was imperceptible to those who didn’t understand. But you understood, you understood it was time to raise hell.

You hovered there, glowing as your body began to crack and fall apart. In truth, it was more like you were shedding your skin in a way only those who understood would find comical rather than those who did not know of chaos just viewing it in total awe, or to put it simply, like a snake. No one knew what to do, what to say, or how to approach you. You yourself was in full embrace of your chaotic side, perhaps in a way you should have back during the invasion of the Storm King. When your shell finally cracked and broke off, you returned to the ground, garbed in adorable mailman gear. “I’m back! And ready to go postal!”

Everyone was taken aback, even Garble. What they all witnessed should have been impossible. Smolder herself, while just as confused, started to tap her palm with her claw, then slowly raised it to her forehead and gave it a gentle tap. That’s when she realized it. Just like with your transformation into a dragon, the horn must have transformed you, or rather, given you some clothes while completely healing you. But then, she was confused yet again, but relieved you suddenly seemed alright. “Anon? Woah, I-I don’t really know what happened but… Are you alright? What’s with the getup? How did you even fix yourself?”

You let out an arrogant chuckle as you adjust your hat “Chaos, what else? I let myself get too comfortable with that fight, should have known Garble would have cheated. I’m alright now though, just needed to shed myself into something else. As for what that is, just stand back and watch. I’m about to deliver some pain. I’ll win Smolder, I promise.”

And Smolder indeed stepped back as she saw you look towards Garble with newfound determination. Deeper inside her soul, however, she actually felt pretty bad that you were hurt at all. She was still somewhat confused, but she could see that whatever you were planning, it was about to blow Garble out of the water. But what then? Even if you won, she still felt an annoying sting of guilt that you got yourself hurt for what was essentially her benefit. As a dragon, she knew it shouldn’t bother her, but it just… did.

Garble, however, stunned, angry, and somehow still standing, began to shake his fist at you in raging disbelief “How?! How are you still standing?! You should have stayed down, pony! Now? I’m really gonna let you have it! No holds barred! So either walk away, or face the wrath of the best dragon ever, Garble!”

“Oh hoho, really? Well, I’ll be happy to go a round two with you… After I do something. Kind of forgot to do something back at my house.” Although you sounded confident, to Garble, it sounded like an admittance to defeat.

“Oh? Running home to mommy then? Well, good! Looks like INHHAWWAAAAAA!” Suddenly, Garble is launched a few feet in the air as a mailbox on a post springs from the ground, right between his legs. With powerful force, he is hit right in the crotch, causing him to let out a horrible puppy like whine as he rolls on the ground in pain. Everyone but you cringes hard from such a hit, but then…

“Where did that come from?!” The portly dragon cried

“T-this place is haunted! We gotta go!” The skinny one said.

“I’m with you! I’m not about to get blown to bits by whatever this is!” The buff one cried out, which prompted the group to leave.

But Smolder? She stayed behind, she had figured out that the post must have appeared by your hand. As in, you must be using the magic you had in your horn. She didn’t care about the other dragons, Garble, or the gems, she just wanted you to win. “Go, Anon! Keep being weird! It’s working!”

You cantered over to the mailbox as a box appeared and floated ahead of you. You stopped for a moment, and looked down at the whining dragon. “Heh, you ain’t making any wishes with those dragonballs no more.” You say with a chuckle as you push the package you had conjured into the mailbox. You then raise its small flag. “There we go, totally forgot about the airplane blueprints for Starlight. Two birds with one stone, no problem. Now then…” You eye Garble as he tried to get up to pounce on you, but he was moving so slow due to his injury, that you were able to react near instantly by using your magic to rip the post out from the ground and making a rising swing at his face, making him launch upwards “Special Delivery!”

Garble started to spin upwards into the sky, but amazingly, his rage kept him in the fight as he opened his wings and caught himself. He was heaving, tired, fatigued, and yet he still wanted to go at you, only able to move due to his arrogance and fury. “GRRRRR! YOU CHEATER! I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LOSING TO A PONY!”

“Shut up, Garble! You cheated first! You nearly turned the guy into burnt toast!” Smolder pointed out, annoyed at his double standard.

“Dragon! Drag-on! How does nocreature get that we're made for cheating?! Grah! D-darn it! Whatever! I’m gonna melt you this time, pony! And ha! Then I can make a soup out of you!” Garble reared his head back, and again, released a heavy stream of flame at you, he was giving it all he got this time as your entire body was covered in his flaming breath.

“Anon!” Smolder said as she held her hand out towards you, but it was too late, this time you were hit dead on.

Oh ho, but you weren’t going down this time. When Garble ended his breath attack, he took a deep breath and slightly limped in the air as he tried to regain his strength. He felt safe enough, as there was no way you could have survived. Within the lasting smoke, was probably your ashes. “H..ngh, grrr… Finally, I finally won. Those gems are-WHAT?!” But of course, as the smoke cleared, Garble was surprised to see you still standing, unharmed. “HOW?! YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN SOUP!”

You just lightly dusted yourself off, and looked up at Garble with a calm and collected look. “I’ll tell you how. Neither rain, nor sleet, nor your shitty ass bad breath is gonna keep me from kicking your ass. I’m invincible, you moron! Now take this! From me to you, Garble!” You jumped up and started to pull out glowing envelopes from your shirt as you threw them like shurikens towards Garble.

Garble himself, using the last ounces of his strength, managed to dodge every single envelope you threw at him. After you threw your last envelope, he looked around, then looked to you, and laughed. “Hahaha! Take that! I dodged all of your stupid pieces of paper! Now I’m gonna go down there and finish you off!”

Was this guy for real? Seriously, what the hell? Ah well, it’d be over soon. “Hey, moron, I didn’t put stamps on any of those envelopes, you know that right?”

“Yeah? So what?!” Garble questioned

You give him a dark and smug look as your eyes shine a quick yellow and red. “Return to sender.”

“What? Hu-AGH!” Garble, at first, doesn’t figure it out. But when he turns his head back, it’s already too late to defend himself from the onslaught of returning envelopes as they hit and explode on him, sending him straight down towards you.

“Alright, let’s see, how do I wanna end this? Ah ok!” You raise the post with your magic and get ready to swing. “Alright, time to send this fight off, first class!” You call out as you prep your final attack. The moment the falling dragon gets into range, you swing the post into him so hard, it snaps in two as it send Garble hurtling into a gem spire. Surprisingly, the spire stands as Garble slams flat into it, and slowly slips to the ground. He couldn’t move at this point, only groan until he fell unconscious. “Thank you for using UCS, United Chaos Services, haha! Hey Smolder, I did it! You wanna fight now?” You turn to Smolder with a goofy smile as your clothes disappear and the horn falls off your head.

While Smolder, at first, was amazed by your skills; She was now utterly stunned as she pointed at the fallen Garble, and then looked to you, bewildered “Woah, that was… How?! Did that all come from your horn?! A-ah, I mean, is Garble gonna be ok?! Are you ok?! Is the world gonna blow up now?”

Heh, it was rare to see anyone react like this to your chaos magic. Then again, they either already knew or were cool and collected enough to handle it. You waved her hoof at her, and did your best to calm her down. “Everything is alright, and uh, it looks like he’ll be ok. That though? That was the full power of my chaos magic that I can use with the horn. He wanted to cheat? Well, I just upped the ante is all, so I think that’s a legit win.” You were pretty proud of yourself with this one, you managed to manhandle Garble physically, and then when he cheated, you managed to pull out the ace in the hole. In fact, it was kind of strange. You managed to not only to stay on point with your attacks, but you didn’t quite feel all like yourself when you were doing so. Either way, however, you pulled out the victory.

“Yeah, I guess it is. Wow, heh, and here I thought it was mostly hooey. I… Er, you alright? I know I asked that a lot, but you got kind of crazy there.” Smolder put one of her hands to her hips as she began to relax, just wanting to unpackage just what happened. Ha, unpackaged, another good pun.

“I am, I just really wanted to win, and to help you out. Although…” You look around, it was only you, her, and Garble “I don’t think it’d count without witnesses.”

“Yeah…” Smolder looked away from you, and let out a disappointed sigh. “Can’t believe I’m saying this. But I stopped caring about that, the gems I mean.”

“Wha? But I thought it was a large amount of gems. It’d keep you fed for a long time, right?” You were confused, why did she not care about the gems after you went through all that trouble?

“Eh, I already got enough gems for that. No, look…” Smolder was getting agitated with herself. She thought it was crazy that she was giving up the gems, but when she looked at you again, she did feel there was something more important to hold on to than just food. “I asked for everything and you did it for nothing. Heck, you nearly became toast and you still fought for me. When you said we were friends, I didn’t really think it’d be THAT deep or serious or whatever. And you know what? I realized I got something better than gems, I got a cool friend, that despite being a pony, can kick butt and is pretty rad. Not to mention you still beat Garble, a total plus. I guess what I’m saying is that, well…” Smolder looked around at the arena, and the base of the gem spires, and nodded to herself “This is an ancient place of honor and all that, heh, I guess I have to honor our friendship forever in that case. I mean, I’d even trust you with my own gem stash at this point. You’re the coolest pony, Well, the ONLY pony I ever met. And for helping me out, if you ever need anything, you just let me know, ok? Helping friends out is gonna be one of those lessons I have to learn, right? Might as well get that out of the way.”

“Smolder…” You were in awe. Aside from Spike, you had never really met a nice dragon before. And she had a coolness factor that most others didn’t, and a willingness to not take the goody two shoes route should you two meet again and decide to do something else. Still, as happy as you were about gaining her friendship… “Come on, just take the gems. They’ll probably give it to you now that they know you and me are buddies.”

Smolder chuckles, and shrugs to herself “I was just trying to act all nice, but yeah, I’ll totally pick up those gems. Might be tough explaining it to Princess Ember though, she’ll probably find out what happened and want to ask some questions. Ancient dragon law or not, this might still cause a one heck of a stink.” Smolder noted.

“Not really, considering I saw and heard most of it. Geez, now I know how Incen lost, that colt is packing some real power.” Said the voice of Princess Ember herself, who was sitting on top of one of the gem spires. “Also, you gotta be more careful with these, understand? They’ve been standing here longer than even my own dad has been around.” Ember said as she gave the one she was on a knock before hopping off and hovering down in front of the both of you.

“Oh no…” Smolder seemed more aggravated than surprised as she covered her face with her hands in embarrassment. “You saw me make good friends with Anon, didn’t you? Ugh, that’s so embarrassing.”

“Hey! Don’t even think that, the whole point of sending you to that school in the first place is to learn about friendship stuff like this. Besides, what do you have to be embarrassed about? It’s not like you just got blown up by a bunch of mail or anything. Garble needed a reality check, you needed at least one good friend, and I just needed to see what this hero colt business was all about. All in all, it all seems good to me.” Said Ember, unphased by the events that have transpired.

“Wait, so you’re not mad at all about this?” You asked “I dunno if you know or not, but I was that Trogdor guy. So, y’know, I sort of fooled you when I first met you.”

“Yeah, and? You only fooled me for awhile before I realized that Trogdor was such a bad name that not even a dragon family would be jerkish enough to give that name to their kid. It’s what made me suspicious in the first place. Besides, now I know Incen losing wasn’t a fluke. Really, I thought it was super embarrassing to lose to a colt, even if he was famous. Now?” Ember cracks her knuckles with a determined smirk on her face “I wouldn’t mind a fight. I’ll keep it clean, but I’ll let you know right now, these fists can break boulders.”

You versus the Princess? Well, she did seem pretty honorable, so this time, it’d be a perfect way to test your skills. You raise your hoof to challenge her, but then Smolder grabs it and puts it down. She looks to you, then to Ember, with a worried look on her face “Yeah, as much as I’d like to see a good scrap, I feel sort of uncomfortable with any kind of fighting right now. You saw what happened when Garble torched him, right? I’m not squeamish, I just think the guy needs some rest or something.”

“Yeah, I guess. Nearly jumped in on that one to smack Garble around myself, not cool.” Ember noted as she looked into the sky, noting the fact it was getting dark “It’s about to be night anyway, so whatever. Actually, now that I think about it.” Ember then looks to you, rather suspicious about something “Why are you here, anyway? Like, REALLY here. Ain’t walking around and looking for caves, that’s for sure.”

Smolder stopped for a moment, and looked to you, wondering the same thing.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! You nearly forgot that you were originally here to spy and gather intel. Hell, you still had to report back to Neighsay. Alright, fuck, this isn’t too bad, you still had one angle you could play. “Ahm, well. I just wanted to see what was up. You get attacked by a dragon, it makes you wanna investigate why. I didn’t mean to be intrusive really, though… I’m glad I did, you two are super cool dragons.”

“I guess that makes sense.” Ember nods, believing you without a second thought. “I guess I’d be in a mood to kick butt if I got attacked by a moron like Incen. Ok then. And uh, you said you’d be going to Princess Twilight’s school too, right?”

Woo, safe. “Yeah, a week after it opens.”

“There ya go, Smolder. Haven’t even gone to school yet and you made a good friend. Now all you gotta do is not lose him as a friend, make more friends, and learn more about friendship. Shouldn’t be that bad, considering how ‘legendary’ this kid is.” Ember actually sounded pretty serious, rather than mockingly, as she pointed to you.

“Geez! Ugh…” Smolder covered her face, embarrassed by the fact she already seemed to be progressing in studies she wasn’t even participating in yet. “Come on, it’s not like we’re best friends or anything! We just met today.”

“And yet you’re both already good friends, made a deal to trick Garble, and don’t think I didn’t see you worry about him when he got burnt. This is why I’m princess, because I always make the right choice.” Ember said, standing with pride.

Wut? “Spike told me you became princess because he gave up this staff thing. I forget.”

Ember grumbled, as she narrowed her eyes at you “Yeah, well. I still made the right choice in picking Smolder. Annnnyway, how do you plan to get home? You don’t seem to have wings or anything. Unless you’re gonna turn into a dragon again.”

“Actually…” You tap at your head, you still had your postal worker hat on, you also still wore the shirt. You make a large open box to be sent to Neighsay magically appear, and point to it with a smirk “Might as well mail myself home, with express postage, I might add.”

Ember groaned “Egh, these puns are killing me. But whatever” She shrugged “I’m not gonna question it.”

Smolder walks over to the box, and gives it a tap. “You sure this thing is safe? It’s not gonna explode on you or anything?”

“Nah, my magic should make it send me exactly where I want to go, it’ll be fine. So, Smolder, I guess I’ll be seeing you in a week, huh? I bet you’ll make more friends at school. Actually, there’s this changeling that’s going there I sorta know who seems pretty nice, you might like her. Her name is Ocellus” Ocellus was pretty cute, and if both of them were friends... Ogh, Diamond might be jealous though. Ahh, it’ll be fine.

“I dunno, heard changelings were kind of wimpy these days. But sure, I guess I can check her out. Well, I’ll see you soon I guess… If you don’t blow up” Smolder really wasn’t too sure about your travel methods.

“It’ll be fine…” You say as you adorably climb into the box, and grab the lid. “Well, it was super cool to be here and meet you all. And really fun crushing Garble." You give another look at the unconscious fool, then back to the pair "Gotta do it again sometime.” You say as you wave to the both of them.

“Tch, sure, sounds fun” Smolder said as she gave you a small wave, trying to act somewhat aloof

“Unofficially, I have to agree. Officially, let’s not.” Ember said with a chuckle as she waved.

And with that, you closed the lid, and vanished into the winds.

“Oh sheesh, this is kind of rough. Thought I’d teleport there instantly but…” You could feel the box flying and moving at a generally good pace, but you had no idea what was actually going on outside of your surroundings. You pop your head out and look around only to find yourself flying away from the dragon lands and flying above the sea, it was kind of cool. The water was vast and glowing from the light of the rising moon, and the sky was beginning to alight with stars that stretched upon an endless space. “Heh, this is much cooler than just warping there. First class flight, baby, yeah!” You just lean over the box’s edge just a bit to enjoy the winds going through your mane as you comfortably enjoy the view. After some time however, you hear a familiar ringing in your ear. It was the codec. Discord?

“Yo, what’s up? Pretty random for you to be calling me. Usually I’m the one to use this thing.” You say as you plop back into the box and put your hoof to your ear.

“Not much, I’m actually on a train with Fluttershy right now. Which really, if it wasn’t for her, I’d be bored out of my skull, literally of course.” Discord says, sounding a tad annoyed. “But if you want to know the reason I’m calling, it’s because I felt a certain oddity with my magic. An anomaly, if you will. Yes, I know chaos is all about anomalies, but this particular one felt… pleasant.”

He’s on a train, with Fluttershy? Huh, you’d think he’d have just teleported her back home. You’d ask, but the mention of an anomaly got you curious, could he mean that he felt something when you used your horn? You do remember feeling rather off when using it. You could describe it as exhilarating, with a hint of loving the absolute dominance you had over Garble. “Um, you felt it a little while ago, right?”

“Yes, it was as if somepony managed to use the full potential of my magic. Oh, what’s the point of acting ignorant? What did you do? How did you do it? And tell me you used puns! Puns always add a bit of classical flavor when you’re gallivanting around and spreading chaos over all you survey.” Discord, after dropping the facade, sounded overjoyed to find out you apparently used the full potential of your power. Wait, that was the full potential of your power?

“Uhh, I guess? I mean, I got in a fight with some stupid dragon again. Only this time I just pounded the fuck out of him with some envelopes and a mail post. And yeah, I used some puns but… How does that all mean I used the full power of chaos?” Really, it was confusing to you.

“Not full power, but full potential. Oh Anon, I feel so much joy in my heart that I could nearly flood the train with my tears… But not wanting to hurt Fluttershy in anyway, I won’t. But yes, full potential, I can still feel it. Even now, and with a single charge I might add, you have defeated a dragon in a rather bombastic but thematic way while now finding yourself… Hmmm.” Discord paused for a moment, as if he was feeling you out “Ahh, yes. Now you are flying somewhere in a container, still with the same charge. Amazing really, you’ve never done this well before. It really does sadden me I couldn’t see it all for myself.”

You still didn’t get it, you’ve done shit like this before. “I mean, I guess? What about the Nightmare Night where I went on that whole Noir thing? Or what about when I went anime on the Flim Flam brothers? Isn’t that also using the full potential of chaos?”

Discord chuckled, as if you told a joke “Oh, hahahaha, Anon, so hilarious sometimes. Neither of those instances were anywhere close to it. You had to use hope to even power that rather charming spirit you summoned, and you yourself lacked full control of your little Noir episode, not to mention summoning beasts and shooting off your legs, while unexpected, didn’t fit the theme. Yes, I know it sounds off, chaos having to stick to themes and rules. But it’s not that either, it’s how you manage to bend such themes to cause absolute havoc! Like say, a hedge maze built upon the entire purpose of ruining the friendship of six friends with lies and misdirection.”

Huh, well, you did remember losing some control over the Noir thing. And you lacked the force to really beat the knight mech the brothers had. Interesting, but then… “So, in that case, what does using the full potential of chaos cause? I felt a little more powerful than I usually do, and I kind of just wanted… I dunno, to keep going? Sorta? I had this feeling of just wanting to be on top.”

“Power corrupts, Anon. Though, in your case, your natural resistances to the adverse effects of chaos works in your favor this time. Anypony can use chaos magic, Anon. But overuse or allowing yourself to be completely engulfed in it has consequences to those who are incapable of understanding it or lack the body to retain it in perfect form.” Discord said, his voice growing ever so ominous “Although I could be wrong about that, I only know of one being who suffered the full effects of chaotic power.”

“You mean the X-Captain? I thought he mutated because he fell into some sort of chaotic radiation in some portal or something like that. I mean, you make it sound scary, but I remember when you had me sneak into Cadance’s castle. My resistance made me slowly change back at the worst time.” God, you were so glad you managed to escape that, Shining Armor was ready to tear you apart. “Hell, you transport everyone around and change them into things all the time, so how come nothing happens to anyone else?

“Indeed, it was something like that. But he wields chaotic power now, although it’s fairly pathetic and unable to do what we can do. As for your other question, it’s because chaos magic is still self contained within itself. Yes, it can change things to the user's whim, but it’s still not spreading the core essence of chaos itself among the populace.” Discord explains

So basically, only the ‘lifeforce’ of chaos can cause mutations. “Y’know… You could have just said it’s the lifeforce or soul of chaos that causes a mutation. Which… wait, if that’s even the case, why didn’t Tirek mutate like crazy when he sucked in your magic?”

“You answered your own question, Anon. He drained my magic, but he didn’t drain my ‘lifeforce’. I could have regenerated my magic had I had some time, by the way. Also? Why even bring him up? Even with my magic, he couldn’t topple Twilight, who hadn’t even mastered the magic of the Alicorns she had. Meanwhile, I was able to easily subdue two of them before being hit by the Elements of Harmony, which I let happen by the way. The horn I’ve given you gives you access to my magic, and is connected through me. In fact, if we were to come to a conclusion to the theory, I’d say anypony who has chaos magic could use it safely, but anypony connected to a strong chaotic force is susceptible to chaotic mutation.” Discord said, sounding rather annoyed you’d bring up Tirek at all. Still annoyed he’d let himself fall for his ploy.

Wait, then by that reasoning, it’s not chaos magic at all that causes the mutation, it’s just being connected to a chaotic force. Not only did it mean half that conversation was an incorrect dead end, but it also means that Discord, from the very get go, had been risking your very physical being with that horn. “ARE YOU FUCKING TELLING ME I COULD HAVE TURNED INTO A GIANT MEATBALL AT ANYTIME USING THIS DAMN THING?!”

“No need to shout, Anon. Here I was proud of you and now you’re yelling at your dear old daddy as if he did something wrong.” Discord said with a soft chuckle

“YOU FUCK! DON’T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME WHAT THE RISK WAS BEFORE YOU GAVE ME THE DAMN HORN?! WHAT IF I FUCKING DID THIS FULL POTENTIAL SHIT DURING NIGHTMARE NIGHT WHEN YOU PUKED YOUR ESSENCE INTO THE HORN, HUH?! HMMM?!” Goddammit! What the fuck was his problem?! All this time and you never fucking knew!

“Relax, Anon, relax. As I mentioned, I could be wrong about a few things. Take note that a perfect being such as myself doesn’t have to worry about it, and I know my magic itself is perfectly safe. In all the time I have ever lived, I had never had to deal with a case of full chaotic mutation before, not until our dear X-Captain happened anyway. I know enough by now to know how chaos magic and how the core essence of chaos affects things. Furthermore, your special resistance works on both. It’s able to purge your body of chaotic anomalies through the virtue of being a pure chaotic being yourself, ponification or not. As I said before, it takes a constant stream of chaos just to keep you in any state that changes you in any way. Like say, a constant stream that would come to you from keeping your horn on during a use of a charge. And like the case with the X-Captain, he slowly mutated into the being he finds himself as today. For you, the worst you’d feel is the symptoms you described before. Though, if Twilight knew you’d felt such symptoms, she’d probably nag on about something like ‘What if the lack of inhibition makes him go too far? What if he, even for a moment, does something he’d regret?’. But, as mentioned, you need to bring out the full potential of chaos to even be in such a state, and… Well, as if beings such as you and I ever go ‘too far’, wouldn’t you agree?” Discord, while sounding rather sure, made you feel uncomfortable with how it all sounded. Hell, the fact he mentioned Twilight in such a way made you feel as if maybe, just maybe, he did actually understand the consequences, even if the chances of it happening were quite low.

It also made you think of something else. “Ok, I guess. So let me ask, what would happen to somepony who unlocked the full potential of chaos doesn’t have my resistance?”

“Hmmm, well, it depends. Those who are filled with harmony would dispel the lesser effects in just a moment as well. Overuse while being at such a potential would warp one’s mind before it ever started warping their body. Though, again, a steady diet of harmony could eventually fix that. It’s those nasty curses you have to be careful with, there’s no naturally fixing that. Though, I do have a small theory that if the user that isn’t you has a grand understanding of chaos itself, they’d be able to resist the effects for a much longer time, perhaps near indefinite depending on how crafty they really are. I say this due to you sounding like your usual self despite still using said potential, it’s clear that both your understanding and resistance of chaos is keeping your mind fully intact after the first sudden jolt of chaos. You do feel normal now, don’t you?” Discord asks

You feel normal now, despite flying in a box. “Yeah.”

“Then there you go, absolutely alright.” Discord said, sounding rather delighted that you seem ok.

“I guess. So uhh, why are you on a train anyway? Why not just teleport home?” You ask

“I wanted to, but Fluttershy was given the ticket for free and she didn’t want to seem ungrateful by not using it. She isn’t even aware I’m here, as if I’d reduce myself to paying for such inferior transportation. I’m just keeping an eye on her since she’s going to be arriving on time and I had nothing better to do but watch the tail end of her negotiations with the breezies and the animals.”

Wut? “I thought she was going to see Thorax about some friendship lessons or some shit like that.”

“Apparently it was both, I didn’t even realize she had gone to see the changelings until I noticed what was in her bags. I’m in her bags, by the way, in case you were wondering. Really, it seems like the universe itself wasn’t able to notice such an oversight.” Discord comments

Weird, you’d think Thorax would have mentioned that when you went to spy on them. But perhaps he wasn’t thinking about it at the time. And considering it was between you and Neighsay, you decided not to mention it to Discord. Thankfully, he wasn’t even asking questions about your going ons and your whereabouts. Clearly he cares more about the chaos you wrought than the finer details of what you’re doing. Still, best to end this call quick before he gets curious. “I see, ummm, actually, Discord, I’m a little busy at the moment, do you think we can talk some more later?”

“That’s fine, I was going to sneak up on Fluttershy anyway and have a friendly chat with her without outing myself as a stow away. Really though, Anon, I am proud of you. Ahh yes, one last thing, the wedding is tomorrow, another flagrant oversight I’m afraid, I wasn’t keeping track of time. But you didn’t need me to tell you that, right?” He tells you.

THE WEDDING?! IT’S TOMORROW?! “WHAT?! HOW?! I THOUGHT IT WAS THE DAY AFTER!”

“Yes, troubling, as if the crafter of the universe itself was so terrible with time management that we all somehow ended up out of the loop. Either way, I was actually prepared for this. Head of Security Starlight, and Best Stallion...er, filly...mare? Bah, I don’t know how it works, but Scootaloo, as well, will be waiting in your room tonight. A fun sleepover in which no multiple foalnapping was required to bring it all together. Really, given how out of order things seem to be, a little closeness might be just what you need.” Discord said, sounding rather untrustworthy yet trustworthy at the same time.

“You totally did do that, didn’t you?” He was being so obvious.

“Well, truth be told, I mean to, but Scootaloo was all for it and Starlight decided to be rather difficult and quite capable of herself. Ended up making a compromise, I help her and her friend move to Ponyville, she agrees to sleep in your room tonight. Really, part of me thinks she was willing to do it either way, but just wanted something out of it.” Discord mumbled a little there, as if he was displeased about it.

“Move? She’s moving to Ponyville? Does this have anything to do with Twilight or anything?” You ask

“Did you expect me to ask? Well, I didn’t. Really, Anon, does it even matter? Not everything centers around you, you know? It’s like how that emotionless pony just ended up living in the caves near Ponyville, even Pinkie was unaware until she showed up with her unpresently presence. Irks me sometimes though, as if that was somehow supposed to go a different way.” Discord said, wondering about his own words.

“Oh, you mean Maud? Yeah, I wasn’t even there for that, no one was… She just showed up and moved in without any fanfare. Something about passing some class and Pinkie never receiving a letter about it. She was pretty apologetic the whole day, Pinkie I mean… From what I hear, anyway.” Yeeeah, Discord was right. Events did happen without your input as well. Though it made you wonder where the letter went to remind Pinkie about Maud’s graduation. Either way, everything seemed to work out. You also have barely seen Maud personally, very barely. You both didn’t quite click as well as you thought you would, as if she could see something about you she didn’t really like.

“Well, either way, you’ll have some company when you get home as I will be catching up on tea time with Fluttershy soon. You have fun, Anon. I’ll be seeing you tomorrow. And really, I am truly proud” Discord said, with a positive affliction in his voice

“Yeah. Heh, Thanks! And see you too. Take care” And with that, the codec calls ends. Christ, the wedding is tomorrow, how the fuck could you lose track of time like that?! Well, at least Discord thought ahead, having Starlight and Scootaloo’s help should guarantee no fuck ups. First though, you had to deal with Neighsay. Speaking of which, you hadn’t realized it, but you had come to a complete stop.

..In other words. A very meta chapter

Where the fuck were you? You poke your head out of the box just a bit to get a view of your surroundings. “Let’s see…” Well, this didn’t look inviting. You found yourself on top of a large desk, looking like one a business owner would own, with a quill dipped in an inkwell. Behind the desk was an elaborate looking chair with velvet red padding of the highest quality, and behind even that was a window surrounded by royal red curtains, the curtains open just enough to give you a peek through the night sky beyond. Ahead of you were dark red walls with shelves for various kinds of books and old scrolls. Torches hung higher up above, lighting the room with an ominous glow. And finally, the large wooden door with ponies etched upon it… Began to open. OH SHIT! WERE YOU IN SOME BOSS ROOM OR SOMETHING?! You decide to put on your horn, which, despite its upgrade, just like before, gave you the aura of Sombra. Still, basic unicorn magic and clever footwork should take down anyone who gets close to you. After placing the horn on your head, you duck back into the box.

“I can’t believe this, I knew reevaluating everything was the correct course of action. Buckball indoors, birthday parties for every student, constant field trips. What does this have to do with friendship?” You hear a familiar voice sneer as a door slams. “But what am I supposed to do? I could just bar the school from opening anyway, but I have already been too indecisive and such an action now is unbecoming of one such as myself. Ponies would talk...” Suddenly, the loud sound of books and scrolls slamming onto a table can be heard next to you. “I even guaranteed her full accreditation, with a pass on such a farce of a curriculum. The most I can do now is simply ask for some changes. That is unless, Anon has managed to find something substantial, something that would let me put an end to this dangerous- Hm? What’s this package?” You could tell now, that it was definitely Pedo Dr- Ah, you meant Neighsay. However, due to you being invested in his monologuing, you failed to remove your horn during the lifting of the lid. When Neighsay spotted you, he jumped back, startled, and immediately stood battle ready “What manner of creature is this?!”

Ahh fuck. You popped your head out of the box and waved your hooves at Neighsay frantically “Wait! Wait! It’s me WOAH!” Neighsay was quick to fire magical bolts at you the moment you sprung up. As if by thought, however, you create a defensive barrier that barely blocked his bolts. The force of his attack was strong enough to knock you back and off the table. “Gyah! Mr. Neighsay! Geez! It’s me! It’s me! Sthap!”

“What?” Neighsay, still cautious, was puzzled by what he heard “That voice, it sounds so-” And then his eyes went wide when he realized who you were. “Anon?! What in the wide wide world of Equestria were you doing in that box. And why such a horrifying disguise? Are you aware of what I could have done to you? What are you even doing in my office?”

T-thank god for your horn upgrade, that type of shot would have sent you straight through the damn window. You pop your horn off and look at Neighsay from the side of the table, being cautious yourself of his movements. “I dunno, I thought I’d be at my aunt’s cottage. I used my magic to deliver myself directly to you, so why don’t you tell me why we’re here! And yes, I’m danged aware...sheesh, you’re a shoot now and ask questions later sort of guy, aren’t you?”

Neighsay actually seemed rather subdued, perhaps even horrified by his own actions as he finally calmed himself, seeming more pleasant than he did when he was complaining about Twilight. “I see, it was your chaos magic then. My apologies, I was delayed by some of Princess Twilight’s ridiculous ideas she has for her school. I take full responsibility for being late for our meeting. As do I apologize for my rash behaviour. But we are now both here. So if you are willing, we can conduct our business if you wish. I’d like to think my office is a more pleasant place to speak anyway.”

Mnnngh, at least he was apologetic. But this creepy place ‘more pleasant’ than the cottage? Yeah no, he was full of shit. “It’s fine. So, I heard some of what you were talking about, did you go see Princess Twilight after I left?”

“Indeed I did, I wanted to perform a thorough evaluation of her lesson plans. But I also extended my good will to her, explaining that she has the support of the EEA and that if any changes were to be made, they would be minor. I decided to let her do what she wishes on an experimental basis and as an EEA accredited school. Of course…” Neighsay walked over to his chair and sat down, looking rather dark as he looked straight ahead. “Should any of her students pose a serious threat, or to be found out as one, it is within my power to not only close down her school, but make sure she can never reopen it or even create another. This, of course, is the consequence of besmirching the EEA and our high standards and… Oh…” Neighsay noticed, or rather, didn’t notice you at all. You were too small to be seen from over his desk. He realized he usually spoke to anyone he had to speak to from a certain distance, and even then, they usually weren’t so small. “Again, my apologies, Anon. Would you like me to get you a seat?”

“Can I just hop onto your desk?” You ask. For some reason, you felt sitting on a seat would be dangerous, like there’d be a trap door under it.

“No… This desk is expensive.” You couldn’t see it, but Neighsay was using his magic to open his door and slide in a less impressive wooden chair with green padding. He raises it, and gently plants it down in front of his desk. It was just the right height to meet him eye to eye. “Please sit.”

You do so, looking at the ground for any crease or crack that could mean it’d be a trap door. Nothing. “Alright… So, yeah… business.”

“Yes. So…” Neighsay looks you straight in the eye as he puts his forelegs together in a thinking pose. “What did you find out there? What are those creatures up to? Tell me everything, and do not leave out any details.”

Oof, he was dead serious on this one. What were you going to tell him? That you fought a dragon, made friends with one, and blew your cover? As much as you hated Twilight’s shit, this guy was clearly out to fuck her up in ways you never would. Friendship is something important to her, and you don’t think you’d go as far as to actually fuck that up. So you decide to just tell him certain details. “Yes sir, this is my report…”

And so, you gave Neighsay the cliff notes version of your investigation, a version in which you didn’t involve yourself in any compromising way. You told him you hid yourself as a dragon. That he was somewhat right in his thinking, as some dragons are indeed against ponies. But then you go on to how Incen was disciplined by Ember, and that she had no ill will towards ponies as well, and merely wanted to be friends. This, of course, extended to Smolder. “...I was even able to learn that Twilight’s student was outcasted by some of the other dragons due to being associated with ponies. I admit, with my disguise, I did speak to her one on one. Not only was she none the wiser, but she told me if just being associated with ponies and other creatures would get her hated, then she’d rather just be friends with ponies. Sir, it is clear to me that Princess Ember is making an effort to reform the dragon clans, as they seem to be ready to abandon their own over such matters. The student herself, as I mentioned, is of no threat, and only seeks to make friends with those willing to accept her.”

Neighsay sat there, quiet, and even lost in thought. You felt he was going to ask you some annoying questions, but you must have sounded official enough for him to buy what was mostly true anyway. After another moment, he finally spoke. “So, do you mean to tell me that this student is so despised by her own that she just so happens to accept us as possible friends? Are you sure? As with the changelings, this all could have been a ruse.”

Oh come on! Ok ok, just remain respectful and objective, Anon. “My disguise was perfect, sir, and even then, what reason would the dragons have to act that way without an outsider present?”

Neighsay said nothing, he merely leaned back on his chair and pondered. But even after a few minutes, he said nothing.

“Sir?” You say, more calmly, and even a little worried. Though, more of the situation than of himself.

Neighsay still said nothing as he got off his chair, and walked to his window, looking down onto the moonlit streets of Canterlot. “Anon, let me explain something to you. As Chancellor… No, as myself, all I wish for is the safety of every student in any school, and for them to reach peak excellence we all know they are capable of. And yet, whenever I go to see the students in any of our schools, they look at me with fear or scorn. Very rarely do I hear even the childish words of ‘You’re the greatest, Mr. Neighsay’. And as uplifting as it is to hear, it comes to me, as I said, very rarely. Even within you, I see that scorn despite you having the same honesty and integrity as I…”

Geezes christ, this guy has no fucking idea what he’s talking about when it comes to you. Except maybe that part where you see him with scorn. He was kind of an asshole.

“And then you come into my chambers, and tell me that a creature I view as our very enemy, is seen as one herself by her own peers, just because of the position she finds herself in. Furthermore, instead of seeking vengeance or proving herself among them, she wishes to attempt the same civility as us ponies. I’ve never heard of such a thing before, especially about a dragon. So for a moment, I thought you were telling me falsehoods. But I can see it in your eyes, it was indeed the truth. Am I a monster, Anon? For condemning those who I feel would jeopardize the safety of our fellow ponies?” Neighsay looked back at you, he was calmer, softer, but still stern in his appearance.

You also had no idea how to feel after that little speech. Was he coming around, just because of that? And even then, it’s not exactly evil to want to protect your fellow man… Or rather, ponies. Obviously, he was still kind of racist, but it seemed he was willing to budge. At least a little bit. “Well, sir, I don’t think you are. And there’s nothing wrong with being cautious. But if there’s a chance to have new friends and allies, I don’t see the harm in allowing that either.”

“Indeed… I am reminded on stories I read of Tirek’s original defeat, where his own brother, a non-pony, aided in his downfall. I am reminded of the union of buffalo and pony in Appeloosa, and indeed, you wouldn’t be where you are without your draconequus father. Perhaps I have been too judgemental, too rash in my decisions. And yet, the danger is still there, just like most of the enemies we still have in Equestria. Perhaps…” Neighsay looks over at the books he had taken for evaluation, and comes to his final conclusion “This can be propped as the ultimate test.”

Wut? “Ultimate test? What do you mean, sir?”

“It’s just as the name implies, a test. The Princess will have not only the full support and funding of the EEA, but she will be allowed to do exactly as she wishes. If by year’s end that she and her school have shown stupendous results, then her school will be considered the standard for any and all future friendship schools. But…” Suddenly, his very expression became ominous and near cruel “Should any of those creatures cause us misery and harm, then Princess Twilight will NEVER be allowed to teach her ways within a classroom ever again, and even her teachings outside of it will be banned. Only one of us can be right, Anon. Only one.”

Wellllll then, that’s quite the fucking gamble considering you only know the dragon and the changeling. Who fucking knows what the other students could be like. Considering younger ponies are mostly innocent, there couldn’t be one to turn this on top of it’s head by somehow being ridiculously evil. So, what could you even say? That is both the best and worst possible scenario anyone could hope for. Considering what this guy may have done without the information you gave him, this is probably for the best. “I see. Well, sir, I agree with and fully back your decision. But let me ask, what if the infractions are only minor? It’s not that I’m with the Princess or anything, but it sounds like you’d ban her for even the smallest thing.”

“Quite the contrary. Like with any good school, she should be able to discipline her students like any other head mare. These conditions are more for, say, if the students themselves revolt, conspire, attack, and other such things. And yes, if her disciplinary measures are inadequate, then that can also lead to the closure of her school. Anon, I only wish to do what is right. And as ridiculous as Princess Twilight’s ways of doing things are, they have yielded results before. But to involve such violent creatures… I’m still torn. Anon, I ask you for one last thing. Please reconsider your decision on joining her school, I’m sure the Princess would be glad to have somepony like you. And with you there, you’d be able to make sure no incidents occur… Or at least get out of hoof. You’d be able to make sure the students are safe. It’s the last thing I ask of you, and you too, will have the EEA’s full support and any resource you may need from us. What say you, Anon?” The way he looked at you, it was as if he was begging.

Well, it’s not like you weren’t. Probably would be a good time now to let him know you’d be going to the school. “Yeah, that’s not a problem. I didn’t mention it before, but I’ll be going to school a week after it opens. So I could probably check things out beforehand too if you’re really that worried. The only thing I ask, Chancellor, is for you to relax a little. I can tell it really worries you, but I promise not to let you down.” You do a polite bow to him. It was clear this guy wasn’t evil at this point, just ridiculously lawful good. He just wanted everything to be ok on his terms. Really, it was pretty admirable to you compared to the princesses. This guy, a hardass and unwilling to give others much of a chance, looked to you with absolute trust and respect. It started to blow you away when you came to this realization. “I really do promise that, sir, as I understand that you just want everypony to be safe.”

“Thank you.” And finally, Neighsay relaxes completely, even letting out a small tired yawn. “You have eased this old stallion’s heart. I knew you had initiative, Anon, and your honesty is something everypony should strive for. But…” He looks over at Twilight’s books and scrolls. “I am sadly still very busy, and have much more work to do. I must ask you to take your leave, but if there’s anything you need, perhaps even some food, I’d not mind having it fetched for you. I can’t imagine how tired you must be after such a day.”

D’awww, he offered you food. Wait, why is that cute? Either way, you had two ponies waiting for you, so it was probably good not to meander around. “I’m good. But can I get a cup of water? I need it to go home, unless there’s another water source nearby.”

“Ah, well, there is a fountain outside you can use. Are you sure you don’t need anything else?” Neighsay asked again, sounding like he wanted to at least give you something.

“Really, it’s fine. Trust me, I got food at home and my horn can pretty much get me whatever I need.” You say.

“Well, alright then. Goodbye Anon, until we meet again.” Neighsay says with a small respectful nod of his head.

“Goodbye sir, and don’t worry, I won’t let you down.” And with that, you left his office in search of the fountain.

“Urgh… What happened? Dammit, shouldn’t I have fell on my bed? What is this place?” You said to yourself as you looked around in an oddly false looking forest. You had just used your horn to open a portal back to your room, but what ended up actually happening was you falling on your face into some odd wooded area. Sure, the trees looked real enough, but they were all kind of uniform in their placement, and all of them were sameish; a thick trunk that led up to a cloudy looking set of leaves. And the night sky, those stars, they looked almost drawn in. This certainly wasn’t the Everfree, that’s for sure. “Hello? Anypony out there?” You call out as you begin to make your way forward through the forest.

No paths, no stones, hell even the grass was uniform and nice looking, something about all this just didn’t feel right. Worse, as you ventured into this false forest, you started to feel something was watching you. You could hear the leaves shifting despite there being no wind. “Hello? Discord?... Chrysalis? Luna? Dammit, Luna! I don’t even know if I’m asleep, and this ain’t funny!”

Left, right, left, up, and back to right, and yet you still noticed nothing. You began to slowly reach for your horn, but as your hoof came upon you, you suddenly felt a horrible jolt as your body filled with electrical energy. You started flailing on the ground as you made incomprehensible noises. “AFSDASFASDFCSAD”

Suddenly, Discord, garbed in a fancy black suit and sunglasses while holding a yellow gun towards you, puts his paw to his ear and began to speak. Oddly enough, he also had a badge on him with the number ‘2’. “Commander Star, come in Commander Star, I have neutralized the intruder.” He said with a very cold and monotonous voice. He just looked upon you as he stood there, then answered when an apparent voice spoke to him. “Yes, the intruder is a colt. Yes, he has a chaos cutie mark. Hmmm…” He looks to you, and asks “Is your name Anon?”

“DSGFFDFSDFDFS” Was all you could say as you shook and sputtered from electrical shocks.

“He isn’t giving me a name. Hrm? Yes, that would be a good reason for you to be angry, as I did neutralize him after all. Let him go? Are you sure, Comm-... Well alright then.” Discord presses a button on his gun, retracting an electrical line that had apparently connected into you when he fired. He holsters his powerful stun gun and gestures at you with two taloned fingers. “My apologies, sir. Please, go on, I shall continue my duty.” And with that, like a ninja, he hops backwards into the upper parts of a tree and disappears.

“N-ngh...W-what… Discord, why? G-g-ghhhhhhhh…” You said as your body let out a hint of chicken as a scent. Christ, you felt like your body was lit up and wasted at the same time. You were shaky as you stood, every hair on you standing on end. “D-dammit, that wasn’t even funny. The hell was wrong with him?” You started to walk, but your body was still feeling rather short circuited, you zig-zagged towards a tree and held on to it to steady yourself. “Where the hell is this? Who was he talking to?” You groaned, took a few moments to rest, and tried to walk forward once again. This time, you were able to maintain yourself, but your anger was more focused as well. “Fucking prick, I’m totally gonna rat him out to Fluttershy. That’ll… What?”

Moving forward through the forest, you notice a lantern light ahead of you. You duck behind a tree, and take a peek at what looked like a large and basic wooden table where four figures were playing a card game. Three Discords, and a… Wait, is that Scootaloo? Goddammit, you were at the house?! Then, why? Why did Discord zap you? Wait, there are multiple Discords on that table, all dressed like the one who attacked you, but with the badges marked ‘3’,’4’, and ‘5’. Goddammit, of course, Discord was with Fluttershy, so these must be individually minded clones or some shit like that. So what? Did the one who attacked you really not know who you were? Dammit Discord, quality over goddamn quantity, LEARN IT!

“Young Scootaloo, would you have any fives?” ‘4’ asked, politely, with a soft spoken yet intelligent sounding voice.

“Nope, go fish!” Scootaloo said, in a rather snarky and upbeat tone.

“Ah, well, seems my luck is rather terrible today. Well, not as bad as Number Three’s anyway.” The Discord who’s name was literally number four said as he took a card.

“Nyeh, don’t be a wise guises, Numbah Four. I’m just playins the long game, Ain’t I Numbah Five?” Number three said. Despite his appearance being exactly like Discord, his voice was an annoying mobster-like Italian accent.

Then there was Number Five, an apparent strong and silent type that merely shakes his head as he focused on his cards.

“Eh, who askeds yous anyway?” Number Three said as he flipped down his sunglasses to hide his very apparent frustration.

“Well, Number Three, I got something to ask. Got any threes?” Scootaloo looked to him with a cocky look.

He shrugs “Tough luck, short stuff. I ain’t gots no threes, other than mah badge of course.” Number Three said with a rather cocky response of his own.

“He’s lying, I’ve already managed to deduce most of the cards and the owners of said cards in this game. He, in fact, has a very high chance of having at least one three.” Number Four says as he starts to reorder his cards.

“Ohs yeah? And what’s that chance exactly?” Number Three said, raising his sunglasses to give him an intimidating stare.

“Oh, just a small number that I’d like to call… One hundred percent.” Number Four said with a chuckle

Three’s eyes burst into a red fire as he throws the table upwards in a rage “I DON’TS GOTTA TAKE NOTHIN OF THIS! I’MS GETTIN’ BACK TO WORK NOW! AIN’TS GOT TIME FOR KIDS' GAMES.” And with a snap, he disappeared from his chair in a near fiery teleport.

Number Five simply looks upwards and stands. He then jumps upwards and expertly catches the table and all the flipped cards, able to throw them back down to the ground in the exact same placement with a 'table throw' as he flings the cards like they were shurikens back onto the top of the table. He then lands back on the ground, in front of his chair, and sits calmly and silently as he catches the last remaining cards in the air, which happened to be his hand, and goes back to looking at them with nary a word.

“Woah…” Scootaloo just sat on her seat, amazed at Five’s amazing feat.

“Indeed, Number Five is a sight to behold when he’s motivated. My apologies, young Scootaloo, for Three’s actions. He is of a rude sort.” Four, sensing the game was over, put his cards down and looked to Scootaloo apologetically.

“It’s ok, he’s just a sore loser. You guys are cool though, erm, you’re much nicer than him and, uh… Can I say you’re nicer than Discord? Since you’re all technically him?” Scootaloo said, worried if she was going to offend the pair.

“It’s quite alright. Despite us being his magically created doppelgangers, we are, in fact, capable of independent thought. And for the record, we enjoy your company. Isn’t that right, Number Five?” Four asks Five, his pleasantness never faltering for a moment.

Five nods, then reaches over to gently pet Scootaloo on the head. She just lets it happen, smiling and accepting the affection. But then she looks to Four, and frowns. “So, what about when it’s all over then? What will happen to all of you?”

“Oh, we’ll disappear into the ether, as is the fate of anything our originator usually creates at his own whim.” Four says, with no worry or fear in his voice, as if he didn’t mind disappearing from the world.

“But you guys are pretty cool! Why can’t you just exist? Doesn’t it scare you that you’ll just disappear? What about our friendship?” Scootaloo sounded rather distressed, it seems during her time here, she had actually made good friends with the Discord clones. “I don’t wanna sound mean or anything, but Discord is kind of a jerk. And you guys? You guys are totally not jerks! So why?!”

Four looked to her calmly, but his voice, there was some lament growing into it as he looked to Five “It doesn’t scare us, we all already understand that it is just the natural disorder of things. As for our friendship, it will always remain true, even upon our disappearance. Every time Discord creates versions of himself, he actually creates extensions of himself. Once we disappear, our memories will be his memories. And at that point, he will only be in denial about it. Not much will change on the outside, but you may notice a few subtle changes. The fact he made the choice to make you Anon’s ‘Best Stallion’ shows he actually has quite a bit of trust in you. I can only imagine that trust will expand after the night is over.”

“Yeah, well…” Scootaloo looked down at the table, still visibly upset about the situation “He’s still not you guys. Well, he is you and the others, but y’know…” Scootaloo sighs and closes her eyes for a moment before feeling a gentle pat on her head. She then looks up to see Five silently sitting next to her, gently patting her head to let her know it’s ok. “I’m really going to miss you guys…”

“It will be alright, we promise. For now, I suggest we forget such unpleasantness by pointing out the fact that Anon has been behind that tree since Three’s temper tantrum.” Four points behind Scootaloo, right at the tree you were peeking from.

Goddammit, how did he notice you?! He probably noticed you from the very start to be honest. Even if it’s a Discord clone, you wouldn’t put it past him or any other not to be observant. Still, considering what you witnessed, it was probably safe to pop out. it also seemed Scootaloo was getting along with a few of them just fine, even befriending them. In a sense, it did kind of suck, since they’d probably not exist beyond tomorrow.

“Anon? Are you really back there?” Scootaloo looks behind herself from her seat, curious to see if you were really there.

“Yeah, I’m here. Hey, Scoots, how’re you doing?” You make yourself visible, and wave to her with a smile.

“Doing better than you, what happened?! You look like you got into a fight with an electric eel and lost.” Scootaloo said as she pointed to you, half shocked and half amused by your appearance. Indeed, you truly were frazzled from the other Discord’s attack.

“Hey! It’s not my fault! One of these guys attacked me when I got here!” Goddammit, just no fucking respect. She just had to point out how goofy you looked.

“Ah, that would be Two. He is the type to attack first and ask questions later. Ahrm, Number Five?” Four says calmly, snapping his talons.

Five calmly stands, and looks over to you. Just the way he stood, almost statuelike, it felt imposing. “Woah, woah, hey! What’s he gonna do?”

“Oh, I can guess this one! He’s just going to fix Anon’s mane and coat, right?” Scootaloo said excitingly “Man, it’s always totally cool when Number Five does anything.”

“Correct! Very good, Scootaloo, very good. Anon, if you please, stand still and allow Number Five to do his work.” Four asked you as he praised Scootaloo’s accurate guess.

“Are you serious? That guy is cracking his… Knuckles? Look, I can fix it myself, I don’t need any more Draconequus clones touching me today.” You started to back up. Fuck this, the guy looked like he was gonna bruise you up.

“C’mon, Anon, don’t be a baby! Number Five is really good! Look!” Scootaloo hopped off her chair and showed off her wings. At first, you thought he made them flight worthy, but it was something more conventional. Her wings looked cleaner, every feather properly placed, and most of all, they looked perfectly preened. “Number Five fixed up my wings really good. Not only was it relaxing, but I can almost float now!” Scootaloo hops up in the air, and managed to maintain her small increase in height for at least ten seconds before gently landing. “See? He’s amazing!”

“I… Guess? I mean…” You had to admit, it was pretty good work. “Erm… Ugh, fine. But it better be as good as that wingjob. Alright, uh, Five? Do your work.” You say, still sounding reluctant in your tone.

Five nods, and jumps in a spiraling spin and lands behind you. You jump forward, startled, as you then get instantly grabbed and fondled in a way that made you think of a cat being overloved by its owner. “Hey! Get off! Don’t touch...wait, nnmmmmm… T-this…” Wow, he was… Really good. No homo or anything, but your body started to feel limp from the relaxing feelings caused by his handling of your body. “T-this is really… Nice.” You just kind of hung there as Five did his work. You were in a dreamlike state at this point.

“Woah, I’ve never seen Anon so calm before. Well, except when he’s asleep.” Scootaloo was impressed, she really hadn’t seen, or at least remembered, seeing you so serene.

“Oh, I’m sure he’s had his moments, depending on his current company anyway.” Four says as he snaps his talons, producing a basic looking chess board. “Young Scootaloo, you had mentioned you had an interest in chess. Would you care to have a go?”

“Oh, uh, sure!” Scootaloo’s attention went back to Four as she tapped at one of the pawns on the board “Maybe if I play with you, I can get good enough to beat Scrappy. He’s really REALLY good at this game.”

“Indeed. Well then, perhaps I can give you a few tips to help you as well.” Four says as he readies the pieces, choosing to start as black.

“That’ll be really cool! Maybe I can stand a chance against him then. Oh, wait, what about Number Five and Anon?” Scootaloo asked.

“Five won’t mind just watching, he’s actually quite poor at the game. As for Anon, he’ll most likely want to speak to Starlight.” Four says as he looks to Scootaloo with a calm smile.

“Oh, because of that thing, right? Ugh, could you believe what she said? About some weird flying machines that can move faster than Rainbow Dash, RAINBOW DASH! Like, that’s totally dumb. Rainbow Dash is waaaayyyyy faster than some stupid machine.” Scootaloo says dismissively, crossing her forelegs with a huff.

Four chuckles to himself as he takes a glance at you “Balderdash indeed, at least in the fact that such a machine does not yet exist in our realm, or may ever exist despite what she has said. By that fact alone, Rainbow Dash is indeed the fastest.” Four was being deceptive in his words. He was being 'truthful' while still sounding like he was on Scootaloo’s side, which Scootaloo did not catch on as she nodded and completely agreed with him.

As for you, Five finally put you down after that massive grooming massage. You felt calm, cool, collected, and at ease in your mind. You also looked damned slick, with your coat nice and shiny and your mane cute and well combed. “Geez… I feel great! That was pretty good… Er, Five, right?”

Five simply nodded, and gave you a thumbs up.

“Y-yeah, thanks." These guys, they were all so unique despite looking the same. You wondered if you had their personalities pegged, and if there were any more of them. "So like, let me get this straight then. Two jumps the gun, Three is… I dunno, a sore loser? Four, you’re smart and polite, and then Five here is silent but pretty cool. So does that make Starlight Number One? And are there like, a Six or Seven?” You asked

“No, Number One is Starlight’s close associate. And Five is the last of us” Four states.

Ah, so only four of them then? “Oh, Trixie? She's Number One?” Huh, that makes sense.

But Scootaloo turns around again, and shakes her head “Nah, I think Trixie is still setting up her wagon in Ponyville. Number One is another clone. I dunno about him, he’s kind of a wimp. He’s creepy too, he always does what Starlight tells him with a smile. Who does that anyway? Like, he does whatever she says and just smiles about it.” Scootaloo states with a small shudder.

Wait… “Hold on, are you telling me my Dad made a subservient clone? Why would he do that? That doesn’t sound like him at all.”

Four takes off his sunglasses and cleans them with a cloth from his suit’s front pocket “He was in a rush to see Fluttershy, I do believe that is enough said about that subject.”

Right, that does make sense. “I see, yeah, that sounds about right. Man…” Scootaloo was right, these guys really were nice. It made you feel a sense of melancholy knowing they wouldn’t exist for much longer. “You guys are pretty cool. I’m with Scootaloo on this one, it’s gonna be kinda sad to see you all go… Cept for Two, that guy is a buttmunch.”

“Well, to be truthful, we weren’t supposed to have much of a personality due to the chance of you being attached to us. But again, Fluttershy. Yes, I admit, I do have a lament in my heart over having to go. But I can look forward to becoming a good memory. For now, I say we just enjoy our time together. As for you, Anon, I do believe you have some business with the Commander, correct? You were the one who sent her all those aviation plans, right?” Four asked you as he watched Scootaloo make her first move.

You nod “Yeah. I also want to see what she has planned for tomorrow. So, what? Did she go crazy over those blueprints or something?” Did she really become that much of a technophile?

Four nods as he takes his turn “She did, it seems she has truly become enamored as Chrysalis when it comes to human creations.”

“Puh, why did you have to say her name? Bug Breath is so awful and uncool. The only good thing to come out of her was Scrappy and the other changelings… Y’know, after they became good. I mean, if she tried to save Anon then I guess that’s ok. But then she could be just saving him to finish him off herself. Grrr… If she even tries it, I’ll tear her apart!” Scootaloo says as she stomps her hindlegs down on her seat. It was obvious, even after all this time, that she still just hated her guts.

“Relax yourself, Young Scootaloo, you let your prejudices cloud your judgement. While we may not know her current status right now, the fact that there is a chance for her redeeming herself is something we should hope for. Better an ally than an enemy. And besides, with a changeling, it is obvious to know when they have changed into their pleasant form. In that sense, we’ll know where she currently stands once she does show herself. Now, let us relax. You won’t be able to focus on your movements if you fret over this. As for you, Anon, if you wish to see the Commander, simply head east. The campsite isn’t too far, and the light from the fire is easy enough to spot.” Four says as he patiently waits for his turn.

Well, goddamn. The guy is even hopeful, how weird. “Yeah, he’s right. If Chrysalis turns into a weird color bug, then everything should be fine. It’ll be ok, Scoots, she won’t do anything to me.”

“What if she fakes it? What if she just pretends to redeem herself to get close to you and destroy you?!” Scootaloo demanded an answer for this. To be fair, it was a pretty good question.

“I’ll take this one. Young Scootaloo, Chrysalis does not make compromises nor will she ever compromise her feelings in such a way. She would never be willing to fake THAT transformation, most likely due to the anger she most likely feels towards it. But, on the same coin, her not transforming into it could be bad if her heart is filled with said rage, as it'd make it more difficult to help her. Anon, you really should caution yourself should you have such a meeting with her.” Four calmly advises. Damn, he had the situation pretty well assessed.

“Mnnn… I guess. Either way, I just don’t want her to hurt anypony. Sometimes I think she’d even hurt Scrappy if she ever saw him again, I really think she's angry enough to do it. I just… I just don’t really like her, that’s all.” Scootaloo calms herself, but still grumbles as she haphazardly takes her turn.

“I promise it’ll be fine, Scoots. Look, I can see the subject is getting you really upset, so I’m just gonna leave you to your chess game. You’ll be ok, right?” You ask. You just wanted to let her cool off at this point. She was obviously really sensitive about the subject and you felt just being around her, with your feelings being positive towards Chrysalis, wouldn’t help her mood.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll be ok. Just…” Scootaloo gets up from her chair, and walks over to give you a hug, she then gives you a stern look “Don’t let yourself fall for her tricks, ok? You promise?”

Man, the way she was acting, it was almost like she was the one you were going to get fake married to. “I promise, I got a good handle on how she is. If anything, I think I know her more than she knows me at this point. So yeah, nothing bad is gonna happen, promise.”

“Good… Erm, ok. Also, when you go to see Starlight, just tell her the truth about those plane things. That they can’t go faster than Rainbow Dash. Got it?” Scootaloo looks at you with the most soul piercing look she could muster. Dammit, how were you supposed to get around this one? Well, you could just try what Four did and just make it sound dodgy and complicated.

“I’ll make sure to tell her the absolute truth about it” Ok, not so complicated, but just as dodgy.

“Good! C’mon, Number Five, watch me beat Number Four at chess!” Scootaloo, feeling calmer already, and quite competitive, instantly enters the mindset of a champion.

Five simply nods, and calmly sits back on his chair. While looking stoic, he did have this aura about him that showed he was really rooting for Scootaloo.

With that, and a few goodbyes, you head east to find Starlight and Number One.

Wow, five completely different clones as security detail. Two of them that, to you, are ridiculous in their own right. One that seemed to be lazy and a cheat, the other being a gungho professional. You really had to hope Starlight would be able to direct them properly. At least they seem to follow her directions.

Speaking of, you notice the flickering light of the camp up ahead. You once again decide to hide behind a nearby tree as you gaze upon the campsite. There were two medium sized tents, a picnic table, and a campfire that burned bright enough to light the entire area. And then you saw the pair, Starlight and her current cohort, Number One, who was dressed like all the others.

Starlight was sitting at the picnic table, tons of books and blueprints at her side, as she took her time to read through the schematics of some super fast jet. “Is this even possible, Number One? Can this ‘X-15’ really break the sound barrier? It says here in the history pamphlet that it can reach a speed called mach six. That’s kinda far fetched, I could see why Scootaloo had a hard time believing it, even I’m skeptical.”

“Oh yes, Commander, I agree, very very unbelievable. But it isn’t a lie either, that vehicle is able to break the sound barrier six times over, its truly remarkable. Second only to you.” Number one said, his movements and manner of speech rather flamboyant as he sucked up to Starlight.

“Six times over, huh? Well, if that’s the truth, then it really is pretty crazy to think about. Rainbow Dash is fast, but this jet plane could fly from my old house to Canterlot in less than an hour, maybe minutes. I’d really like to build one of these but…” Starlight sighs “The materials, and the fuel needed to run it all, not to mention all the gadgetry, it kinda makes it near impossible to put together. Also, it’s not only beyond anything I’ve managed to learn, but I doubt even Equestria’s best aeronautics teams would be able to figure it out. Gyro-copters and magic powered propellers are one thing, but this? Not even the alicorn princesses could power this unless they became a literal battery to it.”

“Agreed, very much agreed, Commander.” One says with constant nods.

“Then there are these jumbo jets and commercial planes. These things could transport so many ponies and so much cargo at once, that it also seems ridiculous. Sure, we have blimps and balloons that function the same way, but they lack the speed these things have. If only I had all the tools and all the materials to make these, I’d at least try to build a sizable prototype that uses magic to power it.” Starlight lets out a soft chuckle to herself as she sat back “I bet if I actually studied crafting, or at least had a cutie mark in it, this would be so much easier for me. Actually, I wonder if Sunburst would be able to do anything with these.”

“Well, Commander Star, I don’t wish to sound like a yespony, but the skills you have been developing thus far has been extraordinary in terms of growth. Ever since you acquired that taser from Anon, you have managed to improve yourself as you applied yourself.” Number One said enthusiastically, swinging his arm around to really bring it home.

“Yeah, I am pretty great, aren’t I?” Starlight said, relaxing as her confidence overtakes her a bit. “Well, anyway, making one of these helicopters might be doable. But again, I need materials and a way to move the helicopters themselves. But they are close enough to our gyrocopters to at least substitute some of these materials with our own to make some sort of prototype. And… Oh, another weapons schematic, throw it in the fire.” Starlight, as she looked over the various schematics, uses her magic to hand a particular one to Number One for him to burn. It seems she wasn’t too privy on the weapons some of these planes were meant to have. “Can’t let anypony even see any of those. If it’s one thing Anon has said to me that is now perfectly clear, it’s that humans are horribly destructive creatures. Did you see the schematics for the weapons meant for those bomber planes? Horrible…” Starlight, it seemed, really wanted nothing to do with human weaponry at all.

“Yes, I did. Truly horrible, I agree. As you mentioned before, these weapons could easily decimate entire populations in little time. A knowledge nopony should have.” Number One said as he threw the schematics into the flame.

“Yeah, that’s totally right, which is why we're burning them. And that should be the last weapon schematic too, so no worries about that. And speaking of Anon.” Starlight begins to frown as a thought of destruction comes upon her mind “He’s got a pretty dangerous weapon too, and it’s from our universe. I’m glad he’s on our side, he’d be worse than Discord if he suddenly went nuts. I can see it in him sometimes… Just, y’know, this willingness to go further than even most monsters would.”

“Well, we needn’t worry. Anon cares about his friends and this world. And even then, it’s not like you couldn’t stomp him if he ever tried. You are one of the most accomplished Unicorns in Equestria. Just as great as Starswirl and much more powerful than Twilight Sparkle.” Number One said like any suck up would, encouraging Starlight just because she was his superior.

“Y’know, I think that’s true. I mean, it wasn’t a good thing, but I was powerful enough to rip Cutie Marks away from ponies. Anon? Sure, he passed his training, but if it was just me and him? I think I could beat him. His chaos magic is powerful, that’s for sure, but he isn’t very practical with it and usually monologues about something before casting a spell. I wonder how skilled he’s really become at this point.” Starlight said, almost to herself, as she tapped her chin in thought.

“Not as skilled as you, Commander. I’d say you’d be able to take him down in a fight. Anytime, anywhere, and without much effort. You truly are the best unicorn ponies have to offer.” Number One said with a bow.

Starlight snickers at that “I don’t want to blow my own horn, but that could be true. If I had a little more time, I would have had a much better time spell than Starswirl. As for me against Anon? Again, I have the skill and the power. Is that bad to even say? I feel kind of bad, but it just seems like something Anon would think about all the time.”

“Don’t feel bad, Commander. Anon is very usually quite arrogant. He usually thinks he could beat anypony in a fight, even you. Which we both know just isn’t true.” Again, Number One says like the kissass he is.

As for you, you were insulted. How could she say that?! Sure, she was good at magic, but you were even better with a limited double charge. Besides, you had strategy, cunning, skill, good looks, and you could hop around like a damned Mexican jumping bean. And you were a hell of a lot better now than you were before the training. Dammit Starlight… No, you know what? Fuck it, you could beat her without your charges. You were goddamn ANON! THE FUCKING HERO COLT! And you just beat the shit out of a goddamned dragon. Hell, you’ve beaten two! You weren’t about to let yourself get downplayed by a pony and her goon! So you finally decide to reveal yourself, approaching the camp calm, but with a fury burning deep inside. “Hello, Starlight. How’re you doin?”

“Anon?!” Starlight nearly jumped off the bench in surprise at your sudden appearance, and then realizing what she had said and talked about with Number One, she suddenly felt self conscious and even guilty about what she had been saying. “Hello, Anon. Didn’t notice you… at all. Erm, I was just looking over all the schematics you sent me. I have to say, it’s really amazing stuff.”

“I know, trust me, I’ve seen it all a thousand times back in my old life.” You say as you sit on the bench opposite of Starlight on the picnic table, and just look at her with a hard stare.

“Yeah, really neat, haha.” Starlight said with a nervous chuckle, noticing you acting off. She doesn’t sugarcoat it, and realizes why you seemed so miffed. “Yeah… You heard what we we’re saying, didn’t you?”

“I did. Didn’t know you wanted to actually fight me. Then again, it seems you think you could actually beat me in a straight up duel.” You say as you look at your own right hoof stoically.

“Ok, Anon, come on. I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that I have experience you don’t have. I mean, I worked hard to become as skilled as I am. Sure, you’re powerful too, but it was all pretty much given to you. And ok, you trained, but that was more physical than mental OR magical… Ok, that sounds kind of bad, but you get what I’m saying. I just think I have an edge when it comes to actual combat. It’s nothing against you, you’ve proven yourself. But without your charges, you’re left at a big disadvantage and… Ok, I’m gonna be quiet now.” Starlight was realizing that no matter how well she tried to put it, she was making herself out to be better than you.

“Yes, Anon, she’s right. You needn’t be jealous of the commander, she simply is too good for you to truly understand.” Number One said in a mocking tone.

Starlight slapped her face with her hoof and slowly dragged it down, bewildered by Number One’s words. “...Not...Helping.”

“Well, considering how skilled I’ve become lately, I think we should have that fight you want so badly. I’m out of charges too, so you’ll really be eating your words when you lose to me.” Like, seriously? Where does she get off? Where does HE get off? You worked hard! You worked hard to get where you were at, so what the fuck were they talking about?

“Anon! Will you relax?! I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t even mean to say those things! It’s just...Ugh, you just… It’s him!” She points to Number One “He brought out the worst in me! I get a little in over my head when… Ugh, I’m not gonna say it. I’m just saying, my ego may have been inflated a little. I’m sorry, ok? I really am.”

“Ah… I apologize as well, to the commander of course. I didn’t mean to be the cause of these hostilities. I only meant to praise the one who deserves it, which is her, of course.” Number One said, like the little bitch he was.

“Ok, but I still want to challenge you. Let’s just say you’re the true final boss to all my training. If you’re as good as you say, then I’ll need to pull out all the stops to be able to trounce you. I mean, if you were just all talk, then I understand. No worries.” You say with a shrug, hoping for her to agree, so you could prove yourself proper to those who you associate with. You really didn't care for her apology.

“Anon, I’m not going to fight you. Come on, you’re acting crazy. We’re good friends, remember?” Starlight tried talking sense into you, bringing up the friendship you both share. As if that’d work.

“What are you, chicken?” You say as a retort.

“Uncalled for, but I get it, and I deserve that. I’m super sorry, Anon. Come on, I just don’t want to end up hurting you and… Oh no…” Starlight slapped herself when she said those words “Why do you keep saying these things, Starlight?” She says to herself before looking back at you with great concern. “Anon, c’mon, please? How about we just talk about these schematics? Or maybe we can talk about why I’m moving to Ponyville? I’m sure you heard about that from Twilight or something, right?” Starlight says, trying to look at you with a nervous but pleasant grin. "We could even fly a kite and relax if you want."

So, she thinks she’d end up hurting you, eh? Time to pull out the big guns. “Yeah, you’re a chicken. The kind of chicken who goes back to her wife named Trixie to get fucked in the butt!”

Starlight went wide eyed, her eyes shifting towards you while she herself was in utter shock “What did you just say?”

“I said you take it up the butt from Trixie every night because your pussy, which is where you pee from just to let you know, is too filled with chicken shit to let her plow you the normal way!” That oughta do it it.

Starlight just started silently nodding, then she looked over to Number One. “ Uh huh… Hrm. Number One, you mind getting Anon’s gear? I want to make sure he’s ready for the… How would he put it?”

“Ass-whupping, Commander.” Number One tells her, unshaken by you or your words “And might I say, that you totally have this in the bag.”

“Right…” Starlight then looks to you, suddenly angry and determined. “ASS-WHUPPING, ANON! BECAUSE I’M GONNA BEAT YOU SO HARD, THAT EVEN YOUR NON EXISTENT GREAT GRANDFOALS WILL KNOW WHO IS THE BEST! AND AFTER THAT!? I’M GONNA RAM TRIXIE SO FAR UP YOUR BUTT THAT YOU’LL BE COUGHING UP HER GREAT AND POWERFUL HAT!”

O-oh, oh shit. Erm, you may have gone too far with that one. Her face was practically red with rage. You didn’t know you could piss her off enough to say something like that. “U-uhm, Starlight? I-I don’t think that’s how it works…”

“I DON’T CARE! I’M ANGRY! I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT! NUMBER ONE, SUIT HIM UP! I… MNNGRR… Mngh.” Starlight was doing her best to calm down. She lost her head there, and part of her didn’t care. Either way, she realized, like before, that she could come to do something she’d regret. But even with that guilt in mind, she still wanted to fight. Her mind was now made up to see who was actually better in a fight. “I’m gonna need a minute to prepare. Also have to call up the other guards and ask them to stear clear and guard Scootaloo. And as for being ready, you better be ready to back up what you say, Anon. Because now you’re gonna get that fight. Oh yeah, you're gonna get it.” Starlight was revved up, peeved, and ready to throw down for sure. She walked off into one of the tents to calm herself further and make the call.

You just stood there, blinking, as your saddle bag appeared on your sides. Now you were wondering if you went too far. Sure, you wanted to prove you were strong. But Starlight, in retrospect, is pretty scary when it came to magical power. “I uhh… Ok, erm… “ Like really, the thought of proving yourself still hung in your mind. Hell, given she asked to bring in your saddle bag, she obviously wanted you to use the tools you did have to level the playing field. Given that Garble decided to force you to use your horn, you never had a chance to prove just how great you were without it. You knew Starlight was a fair fighter, or at least you hoped she was, this could be the fight you were looking for. Still, you turn to Number One, and ask him. “Do you think this is a good idea?”

“I do” Number One says with a nod

“Really?” You ask

“Indeed, it’ll prove that the commander is the best unicorn in the land, and I’m all up for that.” Number One said as he gave you an evil grin.

….Oh boy.

“So, they really gonnas do it? They gonna scrap?” Asked Number Three as he approached Number One, who was leaning against a tree. One himself was watching you and Starlight face each other, unmoving, both of you ready to strike on the word go. You both decided to fight in a spot away from the camp, and away from Scootaloo’s sight. She didn’t need to see the violence, and so she was not even told about it.

“I’m afraid so, Anon is about to learn why the Commander is the strongest unicorn in the land.” One said, confident in Starlight’s abilities.

“Uh huh. Wells, I do loves a good scrap. But eh, be a shame if nothing came out of it when it comes to the twos of us, you get what I’m sayin’?” Three asked as he moved to One’s side and nudged him a few times with his elbow.

“Are you asking for a bet, Number Three?” One looked to Three, interested in his preposition.

“Suuuure, that’s exactly it. C’mon Number One, this is yer chance to make some real moolah. Who do ya think is gonna win? How much I’ms puttin’ ya down for?” Three asked as he pulled out a suitcase of… Well, you wouldn’t know now would you? It just looked like some strange green grubs.

“It should be obvious that I’m betting on the commander.” Said Number One as he pulled out a sack and tossed it onto the ground next to Number Three, it squirmed and wiggled as if in distress.

“Figured. Wells, bettin’ on Anon right here, he’s a real shoe in!” Number Three said with confidence.

“How do you figure?” Asked Number One, highly doubtful of his words.

“The kid is a regular crackerjack! One of them Mary Sue types. Youse be an idiot not to pick the kid.”Number Three said with certainty “Can’t beat somepony that everypony loves n’ all that”

“Love? Mary Sue? Are you on something, Number Three?” Number One said with a scoff.

“On somethin’? What are you implyin’? I’m as straight as spaghetti!” Number Three said with sudden agitation, shaking his pawed fist at Number One.

“Truly…” One said with a whisper before informing him on how wrong he was “Anon is no mary sue, despite his powers being given to him. You see, Anon is actually quite the failure when it comes to his time here in Equestria. Instead of getting Pinkie Pie, he has to settle for Diamond Tiara. Instead of being adored by the four princesses, they instead are either suspicious of him, don’t treat him seriously, or force themselves to be very friendly with him at times… That last one mostly goes to our fair Twilight Sparkle. Not to mention that the friend he identified with the most, you know, the one he failed to properly protect, is now public enemy number one to the ponies. So tell me again how he’s a Mary Sue.”

“Huh… E-erm, well. C-can I switch out my bet?” Three asked, as he began to sweat on the fact he made a bad choice. Or a choice he felt that was bad anyway.

“Of course not! You already made your bet, you can’t swap it out now. Too bad for you, Number Three.” Number One said with a chuckle “To think, you’d bet against the Commander like that. What a fool you are.”

“I’ll also bet on Anon.” Said a voice, as a giant platinum case falls to the ground, between Three and One, with a loud thud. “Chances for him winning are high, better than the Commander’s.”

Both Three and One looked up to the bushes of the nearby tree, and saw Number Two poking his head out, his eyes on the both of you. One, not liking the fact that Two nearly crushed his foot with his platinum box, looked up at him with pure annoyance at the fact that he too would bet against Starlight. “Excuse me? But what makes you so sure about that?”

“Human element.” Two says simply and concisely.

“What babadaloo are ya talkin’ about, Two?” Three asked, confused by Two’s reasoning. “Anons a pony”

“Simple. What humans do, say, and think are always contradictory. A true chaos. Anon is willing to go further than the Commander should he so choose, and humans always go as far as necessary. I’ve seen it before out in the field, really dark stuff.” Two said with his monotone voice as he darted his head back into the treetops.

“What?!” One smacked his own face with his paw at Two’s logic. “How does that even make sense?! We ALL have only existed for a day! Since when did you see it ‘out in the field’ ?!”

“You doubtin’ him, Number One? Like the guy said, out in the field. Oh ho ho, they’s gonnas be callin’ me Number Best by the end of the night!” Three said with a light and almost dumb sounding chuckle.

“That’s not even a number! Ugh, I’m calling Number Four, surely he can explain why such nonsense reasoning is flawed.” One put his talon to his ear and called for Number Four “Number Four, Number Four. Come in, Number Four. Yes, this is Number One, and I have a question for you. We’re all in a bet to see who is going to win this fight, Obviously the Commander is going to win, But Number Three and Two are say- Hmm? What do you mean such matters are beneath you?! What do you mean both Anon and the Commander are being stupid?! Don’t insult the commander you… YOU! YO- Hmnnnn.” One looked back to Three with a gruff grunt

“So, what did the know-it-all gotta says about all this?” Three asked.

“He said that everypony involved were being unintelligent. Then proceeded to tell me that his focus on teaching Scootaloo proper wing exercises is more important than this. Then he told me that Number Five thinks we’re all being children! Can you believe the nerve of them?! Us, children?! For a simple wager?! Preposterous!” One said with a stomp, rageful over Four’s words.

“So, whatcha sayin’ is… That Anon gots a chance afterall?” Three said with a smirk “Because it didn’t sounds like Four gots nothin’ to say about it.”

Number One just crossed his arms, gave Three a nasty look, and then looked upon you and Starlight “We’ll see who’s right. It’s obvious everypony here didn’t get the brains like I did…”

As the clones argued on, you just looked straight into Starlight’s determined eyes with a sense of domination of your own. You weren’t going to lose to her, and you were going to show her that not only have you improved, but improved enough to beat her ‘superior’ magic. You had on your wings, which you gave a few flaps in a slow and threatening manner. You had on a holster, for your taser. Your grappling hook was attached to your right leg, and your bravado you wore on your face. “You ready yet? Starlight?” You looked to her with your dark green eyes that bellowed with false dark magic. Yes, you even had your horn on, for the sake of telekinesis and barrier magic.

Starlight had just been standing there staring, but in truth, she was already having some regret over this. She didn’t want to hurt you, she didn’t want to humiliate a good friend in such a fight. But your cocky attitude and boorish behaviour had brought her to just wanting to prove to you that there is more to fighting than just passing some training test. She had you fully equipped to give you some sort of chance, but she felt that your arrogance would cause you to lose. And through that, she’d hope you’d learn your lesson. “I’m ready. I was just thinking of something to say first. Anon, I want you to think about what you’re doing. This is a REAL fight we’re going to have, there is no room for error. Sure, it won’t go too far, but you could still get hurt. If you really want to prove how great you are, you’ll need to find a way to get past my magic. It won’t be easy, but I’ll be interested to see what you can do.”

You just roll your eyes at her. Goddammit, she was patronizing you and making it sound like a fucking tutorial boss fight. She really thinks you’re gonna be stupid and lose, didn’t she? She may be good at magic, but ponies are pretty trash in a fight, Starlight included. She didn’t need to treat you like a child! Or maybe she knew you’d win, and she was stalling. “Same to you, Starlight. Just to let you know, I’m gonna win this fight. This isn’t going to be like that training session. I’m totally in the zone, and super psyched. So, all in all, YOU’RE the one going down! I’ve dodged your magic before, and I’ll do it again! I’m fucking Anon! And you’re gonna be kissing the ground in a second. That, or you’re gonna be kissing my ass!” You flip around, and pat at your ass as you look back and stick your tongue out at her.

Starlight’s eye twitched when she heard that last part. She immediately threw out any idea of mercy. You were one of her best friends, but the way you were acting, she felt you needed to be brought down a peg. It was almost like it was back when she helped train you. But before, she realized she lost her head over a small amount of your arrogance. Now, you were going full throttle with it and it was really driving her to crush you. Unlike that training session, she wasn’t going to hold back the tiniest bit this time… Well, maybe a little. “O-ok then… Same as before. On the count of three… One… Two…”

You leaned down, and wiggled your butt as you prepared to strike. You remembered she held back for a huge majority of the reflex training, so this time you would put all your effort to bringing her down within seconds before she casts some big spell. You would prove you didn’t need your chaos magic to win. You WILL prove that not only are your reflexes top notch, but so is your fighting skill. And you WILL show that you can topple her best magic.

“Three! GO!” Calls out Starlight.

You prepare to make a side hop and rush right towards her. But within a split second, you find yourself completely encased in the same crystal like concealment spell she used last time. Somehow, she had casted it faster than before, and you didn’t even get a chance to react once she fired it off. Did she have it prepped the whole time?! Goddammit! How did you not see it coming? You were stuck with a stupid shocked expression on your face as you stood frozen in the crystal prison.

Starlight just approaches you slowly, laughing at you. “Hahaha! Anon, you didn’t even last a second! I TOLD you, and I WARNED you. My magic isn’t some basic spells foals would use, they are the result of YEARS of training that somepony like you would have no idea where to even begin to understand it all. And seriously? You did a better job dodging this the first time I used it on you, guess your reflexes really didn’t get better, eh?”

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! How could you let yourself instantly lose like that?! All you had to do was dodge to the right or left and move in! That was the same fucking move she opened up with last time and you somehow didn’t even guess she’d use it again like this! DAMMIT! You were full of rage and frustration, enough to shake your prison slightly, but not nearly enough to break it.

“Yeah, you’re not breaking out of that.” She smirks as she leans against your prison, and chuckles at your predicament “Yeeep, looks like being cocky really doesn’t do well for your skill, now does it? I tried to be nice, I tried to tell you what you were in for, but you just wouldn’t listen. And now, I beat you in less than a second. I’m sure Number One has the time of defeat by the exact nanosecond. I tried, Anon, I really did try. But for some reason, you just had to act like a jerk. Serves you right.”

You just shook, and shook, and shook… But you just… GODDAMMIT! You can’t break out of this damn thing! And what’s worse, Starlight was acting as if she won the fight! Well she hasn’t! SHE HASN’T! You could shake this damn thing, but you couldn’t fucking break it! How cou- Wait… You could shake it, did that mean…?

“Anyway, I’m calm now, and I think you’ve learned your lesson. So let me j-ahh-AHHHH-GYAAAAAAAAHHH!” Starlight had no time to finish her sentence as you, still within your prison, started to slide forward at a rocket’s pace, with her caught at the front of it all. In your rage, you had managed to think of, and then figure out, that you could still use your own basic magic. With the prison not actually being part of you, and being light enough to move, you used your telekinesis magic to thrust it forward into Starlight. Not only did it move at a blistering pace, it also caught her off guard enough to take her along for the ride. While still frozen in place, you were internally smiling as you came right upon a tree, smashing Starlight into it as you span backwards in a slide. The impact itself caused the tree to tilt quite a bit.

“O-ogh, ngh…” Starlight smashed belly first into the tree, and slowly began to slide down it in a daze. She could barely get up as her vision span in a daze. But she managed to slowly stand up as she shook her head, and looked back at you, astonished at how quickly you overtook the situation. “N-ngh, he got me good. I-I didn’t think his telekinesis was that s-strong. D-darnit, Starlight, how could you let yourself get so cocky? Was I really that mad over just words? Ugh..huh?! No, not this time!” Starlight sees you rocketing towards her once again, and jumps to the side while zapping you with a bolt of magic. Instantly, your prison vanishes as you suddenly flip in the air and crash into the tree itself. It seems the tree was not rooted to the ground at all as it finally falls over, with you laying on top of it in a daze of your own. Starlight steps back, and just looks at you with a cringe. And yet, she actually had SOME admiration for your surprise move. “Oh, that had to hurt. Still… Didn’t expect that. Looks like he might actually have a few tricks. I’ll have to stay on my hooves, just in case.”

You were free, but god did your belly hurt. You slowly stood up and looked back at Starlight, who seemed to be primed to act defensively this time. Still, you had in your mind that you slammed her pretty badly back there. Hell, even you were surprised you were actually able to do that. Considering how hard she got hit, it almost made you want to ask if she was ok. But this was still a full on fight, and you couldn’t let yourself falter. No, this time, you’d play it smart, and you had just the ploy to get another free hit in. With the tree down, you rushed towards the bush of leaves and dove into it. Your plan was simple, you’d grab as many leaves as you could and toss it as a ball towards Starlight to distract her. And then…

“What’s he doing…? Ok, what does he have? The taser, the grappling hook, wings, the horn… And he just hides? It’s not like I didn’t see him… Does he just expect me to wander over there for a sneak attack?” Starlight just eyes the leaves closely, preparing herself for… Something. But then, she starts to look around. “Can he teleport too? I don’t remember if that’s something he’s able to do…”

Oh Starlight, prepare yourself for a classic. You ready the ball of leaves with your magic, and hop out of the bush as you make a straight throw at her. Starlight, however, was really ready for this as she fires a bolt of magic to deflect the ball of leaves. But of course, it being a ball of leaves, it explodes at her the moment she hits it. “What the?! What’s going on? It’s just… leaves?” She said in surprise as the leaf confetti obscured her view.

“COME OVER HERE!” You yell out as you shoot your grapple hook forward through the cloud of green. You managed to successfully wrap your line around Starlight’s legs. And with a quick flick of the switch, you start retracting your line with her caught by it like some sort of fish. Once she was close, you’d thrust your taser into her. Haha! Looks like a little ingenuity has paid off. “Gotcha Starlight! It’s time to finish this!”

Starlight let out a gasp when she felt her legs tighten up within the grip of your grappling hook. She did not expect that at all, and she certainly didn’t expect to be slammed to the ground as she started to get dragged towards you. But she also wasn’t some two bit Unicorn either. Not only could she teleport, but she has done enough escape tricks with Trixie to be able to react to such a situation with great haste. She immediately disappears in an instant and appears at the base of the fallen tree, her horn glowing as if she was ready to strike.

“Ah shit! She can teleport?! How the fuck did I forget that?!” You were bewildered by such a move. How could you forget that?! YOU ALMOST FUCKING HAD IT!

“Ok, I’m totally done underestimating you, Anon. I’m gonna give you a chance and say we should end this in a draw, things are getting out of control already and one of us can get seriously hurt.” Starlight, again, had calmed herself enough to assess the situation. She had to admit to herself that being smashed into the tree still hurt, and no doubt her body was bruised in some places. As for you, she couldn’t imagine your little body holding up too much as well after you flew into said tree.

Fuck that! Without a word, you use your telekinesis to grab your taser from your holster and thrusted it forward towards Starlight. But it stopped short as it started to spark, hitting an apparent barrier she was holding up, but doing no actual damage to it. Starlight’s eyes narrowed slightly as her look became more stoic “...Alright then, clearly this won’t be over until one of us is down. In that case…” . It was clear she was growing agitated at the whole situation, as she removed her barrier immediately, causing a burst that sent your taser spiraling a few feet backwards. She then sweeped a laser from her horn down the middle of the tree.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” You had dodged immediately to the right and off the tree to avoid her beam, but just like that, she had another one ready to sweep over you as she anticipated your movements. The only thing you could do about that was raise a barrier of your own, but the laser was just powerful enough to nearly shatter it. Starlight, seeing this, quickly fires a quick bolt to finish off your barrier, but you opt to dodge instead. Indeed, your reflexes were good enough to dodge her, but she had the advantage and you couldn’t do this forever as she continued to lob shots at you. “Fucking shit, ok… She’s pissed. C’mon, Anon… C’mon! Wait!” You see the taser on the ground, and quickly use your telekinesis to send it flying towards Starlight once again, hoping to hit her amongst her barrage.

“Hm…” Starlight’s reflexes were nothing to sniff at either, she ceases her attack for just a moment to raise her barrier and deflect the taser, sending it back to the ground. She then resumes her attack on you with a gatling of magic bursts that didn’t seem to slow in it’s intensity.

“CRAP!” You jump behind the tree, and duck your head, holding on to it as you hear the smashing of magic bolts from the other side. Starlight was proving to be a tougher opponent than you thought, and you were running out of options.

“It’s over, Anon, you’ve lost. You wanted me to actually fight? Well, that’s exactly what I’m doing. You gave it your best, but now it’s over. So give up already!” Starlight slowed her fire, and slowly began to approach the fallen tree. Both ready for your surrender, or your counter attack. Either way, she wanted it to end now.

Shit! You could hear her getting closer! What do you do?! WHAT DO YOU DO?! If only you had something powerful enough to break her… Wait. This tree fell pretty easily since it wasn’t rooted to the ground, so would it be a stretch if you…

“Anon, this isn’t a joke. I’m done playing games, you know that, right? What else can you do to try to defeat me? That’s right, you hav- WAIT ANON!” Starlight, in an instant, is caught off guard as you lift the tree with your telekinesis and send it flying towards her. She was surprised, even still, you had the power to move such a massive object, and opts to use her barrier instead of teleporting due to it being a panicked response. The tree however, easily shatters her barrier and sends her flying and then sliding backwards as the tree itself narrowly misses her.

You were astonished. All of that worked?! Starlight was defeated?! FUCK YES! “HAHAHA! WHAT NOW, STARLIGHT?! SEE?! I KNEW I COULD DO IT!” You hopped forward, and started to do a rather sloppy victory dance. “What now, Starlight?! What now!? That’s right! You ain’t got shit! Bow to your new fucking god!”

Starlight, in an almost scary fashion, just raises herself back up with near fire in her eyes. “YOU! YOU IDIOT! SHUT UP ALREADY!”

Your eyes go wide in fear as you freeze in your victory dance. She got up so suddenly, seemingly unphased, and started to float in the air. She could float in the air?! Right… she could do that, she can fly in all actuality. You were just surprised she was up at all, how the fuck is she not defeated yet? Even worse, she started to gather trees around her, just lifting them up easily until she had about ten spinning around her. “LET’S FINISH THIS, ANON! I’M TIRED OF IT! ALL OF IT! YOU JUST NEVER LEARN! SO LET ME SHOW YOU EXACTLY WHAT KIND OF DANGEROUS I REALLY AM! HYYYYAAAHHH!” Starlight started to fling the trees at you, one by one.

“Fuck!” Ok, maybe you’ve been a bit of an asshole during this whole thing. But fucking christ, Starlight was sensitive as fuck. Why?! She used to be meeker before… Then again, she did seem to get more easily agitated once Trixie moved in with her. Was that it? Or was it just you? Both of you? No time to think, JUST DODGE! You quickly, but barely, dodge the first tree as you dive forward to dodge the second with a side roll. The third though? She had you right where she wanted you, you tried jumping up, and up, and you went up, and up? Oh right… You could fly! HAH! Starlight however, doesn’t slow her attack as she continues to fling trees towards you. With the way you can zip around you easily dodge her crazed and erratic throwing. However, on the last tree, she keeps it in her magical grasp as it spirals towards you, spinning due to the aid of her telekinetic magic. You weren’t able to properly predict it, and it smashes right into your head, splitting the tree in two as you spiral downward to the ground with a loud crash, enough to leave a small crater.

“HAHAHAHA!” Starlight laughed madly, raising her hooves in victory as she hovered in place “AND THAT’S THE GAME! YOU SHOULD HAVE KEPT YOUR MOUTH SHUT, ANON!... Anon?” Starlight looked down at you, and she noticed that you weren’t moving at all, not even making a sound. “A-Anon? Anon?” Starlight began to slowly hover downwards onto the ground, her insane look of victory slowly turning to that of horrified guilt. “Anon, c-c’mon… That didn’t hit you that hard, right?” But as she landed, she still could see you weren’t moving at all, and she was starting to feel an utter chill in her body. “No… nonononono, I didn’t…” She looked at her own hooves as the reality started to set in “I didn’t… I, Anon, I… How could I?”

You weren’t really knocked out though, you actually barely felt that tree hit you. Your plan was simple, lure her over with guilt and smash her head in with your own face mace. But as Starlight drew near, your ears started to perk up as you heard her guilt filled mumbling, soon followed by slow sobbing. She was… Crying? Why was she crying? Dead? She thinks you’re dead? She’s blaming herself? Oh no…

Anon, you fool. You did this, didn't you? You pushed her into fighting you at her hardest. For what? Because she was being arrogant herself? Was that really the truth? Or did you just want to prove to yourself that you could defeat a difficult opponent without chaos magic. Did you hate the fact that you couldn’t prove it with Garble? Did everyone really see you as weak? Or needing the horn? Or was that just you thinking that? And what about your sneak attack? You were about to do to Starlight what Garble did to you. Worse, you were going to do it to a good friend who now thought she ended your life. Anon, you fucking shmuck…

“Starlight… Hey! Hey…” You slowly got up, and began to approach her. “It’s ok! I’m alright! I’m fine! See?” You wiggled your hoof at her, but she just didn’t see you. You tried approaching the now sobbing mare, but the moment you did, she grabbed onto you, and she just screamed out how apologetic she was.

“Anon! Ngh! Scootaloo... ! Scootaloo…! I’m sorry! I ended him, I ended Anon! I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to get so angry. I just… I just lost it and…” Starlight just cried into you, mistaking you for Scootaloo. She was so hysterical that she somehow just didn’t realize you weren’t her. She was also crushing you with her grip, you could barely breathe.

“S-Starlight…” You let out in a strained voice “You’re killing me”

“You too?! N-No! I didn’t...w-wait.” Starlight looked at you for a moment within her grip. She could see you breathing hard, catching yourr breath. She looked over to where she knocked you out, and then back at you. “A-Anon? Y-you’re ok?”

“Y-yeah, I jSAFSDASF” And with that, Starlight went back to hugging you tightly.

“ANON! I’M SO SORRY! I LOST MY HEAD! I DIDN’T ME- erm.” Starlight stopped when she looked at you again, seeing you were now blue in the face. She stopped her hugging and let you go, chuckling nervously as she sniffed and cleared her tears “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you… I just… I just lost it.”

To you, she had nothing really to apologize for. You goaded her into fighting, you got her riled up, you got her to nearly kill you. All for a selfish whim. “I’m sorry too, Starlight…” You started to tear up yourself, as guilt welled up inside you. Hell, you knew she was easily flustered, and you just pushed it. “I just wanted to fight you, I got annoyed with what you were saying and I just wanted to prove I could fight without the full power of the horn, I wanted to prove how capable I was. I was even... “ You look down in shame “I was even waiting for you to get close so I could beat you down. I was willing to play dirty to win. It’s not right, especially to you. You always treat me with respect, and always try to help when I need it. I shouldn’t have gotten you riled up like that.”

“Anon…” Starlight sighs as she starts to tear up again, taking a deep breath as she holds you close for a gentle hug. “I shouldn’t have gotten so cocky to begin with. I kind of was riding an old sense of power with having Number One around, catering to every want and need I had. You’re my friend too, and I said I’d treat you as my equal… And I didn’t see you as one right there and then… I guess we both messed up, huh?”

You let out a weak and cheerful chuckle “Y-yeah. Heh, S-Starlight, you really are the greatest unicorn ever,”

“I know” Starlight said with a sad but quirky chuckle of her own “And I’m proud to say that you earned the title of Hero Colt. Tell you the truth, you were really using your brain there. I mean, I should have realized it was strange you’d let yourself get hit by my crystal concealment spell. If you weren’t so small, the sheer force of that hit could have probably finished me right then and there. So yeah, good job on that one.”

“Yeah, that was…” Wait a second, you didn’t let yourself get hit by it. You legit couldn’t dodge it and only came to the realization you could move it just by the fact you could get it to shake with the force of your body. M-maybe you shouldn’t let her know that though. “A yeah, yeeeah, a really good plan if I say so myself. But sheesh, your raw magical power is amazing, you just never seemed to run out. You can teleport, fly, shoot beams, and throw trees. Makes me wonder what you were going to try if the fight continued.”

Starlight went wide eyed there for a moment, and gulped. “Oh… Erm, I was. Well, I had a few extra ideas.”

Now that got your curious “Like what?”

“Oh, nothing much…” Starlight started to dart her eyes around, and said in a low voice “Just ripping out your cutie mark…”

You felt like you should have a big reaction over that. But really, considering that you were overwhelmed with guilt and hurt, it seemed fine to you she’d resort to such an act. “Oh, well, I guess that isn’t much better than my whole head bash thing. Looks like we’d both go pretty far to win…”

“Well… There’s nothing wrong with that, I think.” Starlight said, as she took a moment to wipe her eyes.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Again, you were curious.

“It’s simple. While I’d say using underhoofed tactics on friends isn’t right, using it against an enemy isn’t exactly a bad thing. Sometimes you need to cheat, or play dirty, to win the day. If the bad guys aren’t going to play fair, then why should you? When it comes to monsters who would eat ponies like us, or hurt us for fun, cheating to win is a perfectly viable option. Nopony is going to criticize you for it, y’know? You have that horn for a reason, so you might as well use it for its intended purpose. And when you don’t have the charges to win a fight, you use your other gear to help you either win or escape. You need to master your entire skillset, Anon, if you really want to really take on the title of Hero Colt. Heh…” Starlight chuckled, and looked to you with a calmed smile “Look at me, sounding like some old wise mare. But seriously, you have potential, you just can’t go limiting yourself when it comes to an important fight. Nopony else is going to.”

You nod to her, as you start to fill up with determination and understanding. “You’re right, Starlight. I’m glad I was able to keep up with you, I guess I really have to be more mindful of my tools. I would have never gotten that far without them. Heck, if I utilized them a little better, I may have put up more of a fight.”

“I agree, I’m just glad I didn’t end up using any of my deadliest spells.” Starlight said as she wiped her brow, glad she didn’t reach that point of anger.

“Yeah… Wait.” Did she say she had more powerful spells? “You weren’t using your best against me? I mean, aside from the cutie mark thing, what else did you have?”

“Well… Anon… Look, the fight is over, right? It doesn’t matter now, does it?” This time, Starlight was sure she didn’t say anything in arrogance. She was just relieved with herself. But now she was nervous that she may have incited yet another fight.

“I mean… Sure, I’m willing to call it a draw. But you can’t just say that and not give me an example, what other spells did you have? I promise, I’m not gonna get upset. Like you said, I just gotta fight at my full potential in a real fight, and I already know my chaos magic is pretty great. So don’t be nervous, just tell me. I wanna know what your true potential would have been” You try to reassure her that you had no ill will towards her, you were just curious as to what she had up her sleeves. Ok, that was kind of untrue. You were kind of annoyed you didn’t get to go against her top tier spells.

“Well, if you insist. Some of the spells I didn’t use, aside from taking your cutie mark, were things like mind manipulation, size manipulation, teleporting you rather than myself, or even enchanting the trees to say… Attack you for me. That’s just a few I could have used.” She said, hoping you were true to your word in not getting upset with her.

Goddammit, mind manipulation? She can do that? You shudder to think what she would have made you do while she was angry like that. What if she… Made you suck your own cock? Christ… Nope, fuck it, you were glad she didn’t go that far. “N-nope, not the least bit upset. Just really neat to know, ehehe.”

“Yep… Kinda neat… Erm.” Starlight began to feel nervous as she rubbed the side of her leg. “Look, it’s getting really late… And I bet you Scootaloo probably heard all that commotion, so she’s going to want to know what happened. Let’s just call it a night, ok? You got a fake wedding to go to tomorrow.”

“Yeah, l-let’s do that.” Christ… she could have made you her damn sex slave.

In the distance, the three clones began to talk to one another once more.

“Wows… So er, what happens when they all tied like that?” Number Three asked, bewildered at the results of the fight.

“Hmph, I suppose we take back our own bets.” Number One groaned “The commander was too merciful, she could have crushed him if she so wanted to. By that merit alone, I can at least live on knowing I’d have won in the end. Well, at least I technically didn’t lose to you two.”

“Ehhh, if Anons had his chaos magic, it’d have been in the bag. Badda Bing Badda Boom, just like dat. Ain’t that right, Numbahr Two?” Three said with certainty as he looked up at the leaves of the tree, but there was no answer. “Hey, Two, you in there? Where are you at? WAIt! WHERE’S THE MOOLAH?!”

“That cur! GRRR, WAIT TIL I TELL THE COMMANDER!” Number One said, in such a furious state that he burst into flame. It seemed the entire pot was stolen.

Unbeknownst to the duo however, Two was busy hiding up in a tree at the far end of the false forest, eating the ‘moolah’ like it was some sort of snack. “Too easy”

What proceeded after the fight wasn’t much. You and Starlight were both pretty much beat, and ready for bed. But given the high tension caused by the fight, you both had decided to just have a small conversation before hitting the hay. Starlight, of course, was still rather hyped about the plans you had sent her regarding planes and jets, and wanted to ask you how they were like, what was it like to fly in them, and how did it feel to move at such intense speeds. You were able to give her a basic answer for the first, a detailed answer for the second, and a less than informational answer to the third. Still, it gauged her interest enough to really want to give it all a go. Aside from that conversation, you both also talked about your friendship, or really, just trying not to ruin said friendship with such frivolous bullshit. Finally, you spoke to her about her and Trixie moving to Ponyville, you really wanted to know why that was.

Starlight’s explanation, however, was much more simple than you thought it’d be. She said that it was time for her to move on from the town. She felt she did enough to redeem herself, and help the town grow into an actual functioning place, that and the whole election thing was getting tiresome. She wanted to further her studies in magic, friendship, and now thanks to you, gadgetry of the human variety. To do that, she not only felt Ponyville would be the best place to move to achieve her goals, but the fact that Twilight had actually offered her to stay at the castle was a plus when it came to having a place to work and have access to resources, including having the help of someone who was also very magically inclined. However, when it came to the friendship part, Starlight had in fact been interested in Twilight’s school, though not in a student sense. She wanted to see if she could teach at her school, the only thing was that she herself didn’t have any idea on what to teach. It seemed, however, that Twilight not only was more than willing to employ her, but also felt she had the perfect place for her. Starlight mentioned that her work with the town, her own self improvement, and somehow even befriending Trixie and keeping you as a good and mutual friend made her perfect as a guidance counselor, even mentioning that it was almost as if it was fated to be.

However, to you, that was just kind of dumb. Mostly on the ‘you’ part. You were easy to get along with and super lovable! How could Twilight compare you to Trixie when it came to maintaining a friendship? God, she can be so damned stupid at times. However, despite your internal conflict with Twilight’s thoughts, you congratulated Starlight, and even mentioned you were happy to have her living so close, as it’d make it easier to visit since you go to Ponyville much more often than you do her town. Sure, you had a portal, but most of your dealings were in Ponyville...so, y’know.

After the ridiculous, almost expository conversation, you felt tired and wished Starlight a goodnight. Though she herself said she actually wasn’t planning to go to bed. She still had to explain things to Scootaloo when she showed up, and had some other business to attend to. She mentioned that a good sleep was most important for you, since it was your moment. Yeah, it was your moment, wasn’t it? In that case, you bid her goodnight once again, and headed into the tent. It was surprisingly simple inside, with only two foal sized bedrolls. It must have meant that Starlight slept in the other tent... Wait, did she have to sleep with the clones? Oy, now that just sounded like a rape doujin waiting to happen.

And so the night passed…

“Anon! Anon! Wake up!” Yelled the familiar voice of a young filly

You merely batted your leg forward and turned, shifting your body on the... Bed? It did feel like you were suddenly on your bed now. “Mnngh, go away, I’m beat” You really did feel like you were thrown around in a fight, considering you were.

“Ugh! Of course. Alright Number Five, it looks like it’s up to us. Ready? Let’s do this. Gong!” Yelled the voice

Suddenly, the heavy low tone ringing of a gong rings in your ears, causing you to jump up in fright. “WAAAGGH!”

“Number Five, quick, the suit!” It was Scootaloo who was making the commands, and she seemed determined and ready to get you at that wedding in time. You also found yourself back in your room, not that it mattered at the moment. Scootaloo was standing on your bed as Number Five, who was on the side of it, materialized your wedding tux and tossed it above you. “Here I go!” Scootaloo jumps up, using the bed as a spring while she uses her wings to gain some lift to hop over you and pull down the tux upon you before you land.

“What’s going on?! Wha! What?!” You still didn’t realize what was happening due to the quick pace of it all. Were you missing something?!

“Number Five, brush!” As Scootaloo lands behind you, she catches a brush thrown by Five in her mouth, and begins to hold you down as she brushes at your mane.

“What the?! Hey! Hey! What’s going! OW! That hur-OOF! That’s my hair!” You whimpered and whined as Scootaloo did her work.

“Number Five! Locket and Sunglasses!” Scootaloo barked. Five then tosses her a pair of sunglasses and a small jewelry box. Scootaloo catches the box and quickly slips it into her pocket, as she herself was in a tux. She then catches the sunglasses, puts it on, and nods with a stoic expression. “He’s ready...”. After a moment though, she couldn’t contain herself as she smiled and hopped about “That was so cool! I can’t believe we actually managed that!”. Number Five simply put his thumb up, to signify approval.

“Ogh… What happened?” You finally had time to look around. Yep, you were back in your room, on your bed, with a clone of Discord and Scootaloo looking at you as if… Right, the wedding. You look down at yourself and notice the rather spritzy looking tux with the nice little white rose on the lapel. “Oh, geez! Am I late for the wedding?!”

“Oh, no, you’re not. We just wanted to make sure you’d wake up on time, so we woke you up just early enough.” Scootaloo said with a grin on her face. She didn’t mean any harm, but goddammit.

You groan as you slowly lift yourself out of bed and hop off “Gee, thanks” You say sarcastically. Sure, you’ve been better about waking up at a reasonable time, but if you could have gotten more sleep, then dammit, they should have let you sleep! Although, looking in the mirror on your dresser, you did look pretty snappy with your mane brushed so well and the tux looking so suave, Scootaloo did a pretty nice job. But then you notice something else. Beside your portal door laid a giant wooden chest with a golden trim. “What’s that?”

“Oh, the chest? That was Number Four’s idea, he said you’d get a kick out of it. I don’t know why, just looks like an ordinary treasure chest to me.” Scootaloo said with a shrug.

“Ok, but what’s inside it?” You’d get a kick out of it? Why? Was it a trap? Was Number Four not as smart and caring as he appeared? Or maybe this was supposed to represent something. Maybe something really cool was inside.

“Oh, I guess it’s whatever Starlight was working on with him all night. She mentioned it had something to do with the fight you both had. Sheesh, Anon, you two really got into it, huh? There were so many fallen trees and blast marks everywhere, it must have been some fight.” Scootaloo commented

“Yeah, it was. It wasn’t anything too big though, just testing my training out, that’s all.” You say near sheepishly. You didn’t know what Starlight told her, but goddamn did you hope she didn’t make you sound like an asshole.

“That’s pretty much what she said. I’m gonna have to ask Rainbow Dash if she’d fight me like that. Erm, you know, nothing too major, I just want to see how far I’ve come too, y’know?” It seemed Scootaloo wasn’t given the full details after all, and thought of your fight as just another form of training without the hostility. Seems she wanted to fight Rainbow Dash in the same way, but was scared of it being as intense as your fight was with Starlight.

“Y-yeah well, ahrm…” You cleared your throat, calming down after knowing you were now in the clear. “Anyyyyways, erm. So Starlight didn’t really go to bed last night? Did you know what she wanted to work on? Also, why Number Four? Isn’t Number One her assistant?” You said as you tapped at the chest.

“He is, but he actually isn’t too smart, especially compared to Number Four. She needed his help for some secret project thingy she wanted to get done before she went to bed. I guess it wasn’t anything too big since she got it done in a night, but apparently it was just big enough for her not to tell me what it was going to be. Honestly, whatever is in there, it has to be wicked cool! So c’mon already! Open it!”

Alright then, here you go. Time to see what she made you. Why would she make you something anyway? Yes, you were friends, but she still had to be somewhat salty about last night. You kind of were, if only because, in the end, there were no clear winners in that fight. So for her to make you anything, it made you feel rather humble. Starlight truly was a good friend, one you had to do better by.

You reach for the top of the chest and pop it back to see what was inside. But before you could react, a golden light began to spill from the chest as the Zelda chest opening theme began to play. Your eyes went wide, what was this? Starlight didn’t know what Zelda was, so this had to be the work of Number Four. But why? What was…

“Gyah! What’s going on?!” Scootaloo jumped back and hid under your bed, poking her head out as she shivered in fright “Anon, is it going to explode?!”

You said nothing as you reached inside with no fear, as if you were in a trance. When you bring yourself back up, you stand on your hind legs and hold your forelegs up high to reveal…

DA NA NA NA! It’s the Starlight Hook! A modification of your Grapple Hook created by Starlight and Number Four. With this, you’ll not only be able to use it to scale and swing across great distances, but it can be used in combat to grapple and then shock opponents with greater force than the taser. Powered by Starlight’s magic, as long as you don’t drain the battery, it will always naturally recharge, albeit slowly.

Scootaloo read all that from a small text box that appeared in back of you, and it was confusing to her. Why a text box, what even kind of thing was it? Why were you just standing there while the hook hovered over your hooves? Scootaloo slowly came out from under your bed, and just walked over to the text box, giving it a tap. “What the hay is all this? Anon, do you kno- What the, are you crying?”

You were, you were so damn happy to get to experience something like this without it being a trap or blowing up in your face. “Scoots… I just, I… Do you know that feeling you get when you make Rainbow Dash super proud of you?”

“Yeah, it’s one of the greatest feelings in the world! Why?” Scootaloo asked, still confused.

“This is like that, but like a million times more.” You say with a sniffle, this was so goddamn golden.

“What? That’s just sounds dumb, it’s just you holding up your new grapple hook thing. It’s cool that you got one, but there’s no-” But you stop her with sudden angry barking.

“DON’T SPOIL THIS FOR ME, SCOOTS!” You growl.

Scootaloo hops back, startled “Yikes! Alright, alright, whatever you say. Geez, sometimes I just don’t understand you sometimes and-” Scootaloo hears a tapping, it was Number Five tapping at a watch on his arm. “Oh, oh right! Anon, we gotta go, we gotta get you to that wedding!”

“I can’t, Scootaloo” You say, still sobbing.

Scootaloo rolls her eyes, now annoyed by whatever it was that fascinated you “Ok, I get it, this is super cool for you. But Anon, we really gotta go! So cut it out already.”

“I can’t…” You say again

“Why can’t you?” Scootaloo asked, now really annoyed.

“I’m stuck.” You really were, you couldn’t move from your position. It was like someone had to advance the… OH GODDAMMIT!

“What do you mean you’re stuck?” Scootaloo asked as she walked over to you. She gave you a gentle shove, but you wouldn’t budge an inch. “Oh, you’re stuck stuck.”

“Yes… I’m stuck stuck” You said, feeling annoyed. Dammit Four, either this was intentional or he somehow forgot that chaos magic can go too far. “You gotta find a way to remove that text box thing. That’s what’s keeping me stuck.”

“This? Huh…” Scootaloo brought her hoof to it, but nothing happened, her hoof went right through “Come on! Stupid thing!” She swung her hoof at it, but still, nothing happened. “Did Number Four really do this? This seems kind of… Oh wait!” Scootaloo looked to Number Five “I bet this is why you stuck around, right, Five? Could you do something about this?”

Five nods, and produces an Nintendo 64 Controller from thin air and presses the ‘A’ button, making the text completely disappear. You also weren’t ready for it as the grappling hook falls on your face, causing you to fall forward onto the ground, right onto your face. “Oof! N-ngh…”. How humiliating, all you had to do was just catch it and slip it on, and instead you just let it fall on your face.

“Come on, Anon. Stop fooling around!” Scootaloo helps you up and brushes off your tux “You’re getting your suit dirty! Wow, no wonder you’re never ready for anything, you’re always goofing around.”

You just grumble to yourself, picking up the grapple hook as you lament on your humiliation. You take a look to see the changes, and indeed, Starlight made some major modifications. One, the thing was a little heavier to hold, secondly, the entire harness was recolored to Starlight’s coat and mane colors, thirdly, there was a blue glowing tube lining the top of the apparatus, shining with blue electricity from within, and finally, there was an extra switch that looked like your Taser’s trigger. Heh, so that’s it, her and Four fused your taser and your grappling hook together. Interesting, this could be useful. But goddamn, the Starlight Hook? Could she be any more narcissistic? Whatever, it'll be fine, it's not that bad a name. You decide to leave it on your dresser for now, you had a wedding to go to. “Come on, Scoots, relax. You said we were early, right?”

“Early enough, but we still need to get you all set for the wedding. You know, instructions and stuff. Mrs.Rich is scary enough as it is, I don’t wanna see her start ripping heads off because something went wrong. I don’t even really see the point in all this, weddings are neat and all, Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor’s was rad… Y’know, after… Never mind. I’m just saying, a fake wedding seems dumb.” Scootaloo said as she walked over to your portal door, set the dial to Ponyville, and opened the door. Peering through, she could see the ponies outside town hall were all a bustle. “Never mind, I can already see Mrs. Rich being upset. Everypony wants in on this thing. See? This is what I mean. If this was a normal wedding, everypony would be allowed in. but for some reason, it has to be all ‘imperfect’ and everything. And that’s just, like, mega dumb. I don't see what's so 'imperfect' about not letting more ponies in”

"It's just how she wants it, that's all. She wants it to be nothing to write home about. Weird, but I can understand why." You walk over next to Scootaloo, and peer through the door. Oh geez, she wasn't kidding, there were ponies everywhere. “Yeah, yikes, it’s just like at the coliseum, have I really become that big?”

“Yeah, you kind of have. You did just beat a dragon without even trying, and even though everypony thought the end of the test was just part of the show, it was still really spectacular. And do I even need to mention the whole Storm King thing? Of course everypony is gonna wanna see this, especially since the Riches are also really popular. I guess that’s why Starlight is head of security, she and the Discord clones have to handle this big mess. Speaking of, hey Number Five, I don’t wanna keep you any more than I have to, you can go now. And thanks!” Scootaloo smiles at him, and gives him a wave.

Number Five points at her with his talon and paw, smirks, and does a clicking noise with his mouth before disappearing in a flash of light.

“There he goes, so what do I have to do exactly, Scoots?” You ask, feeling a tad nervous of having to go through a crowd.

“Right now? We gotta get you to Town Hall so you can be told what you gotta do. Y’know, how to walk the aisle, help you with your vows, your cues, and all kinds of stuff. I already know what to do, I just gotta be ready to give you the locket. It’s no problem, Anon, you’re gonna do fine.” Scootaloo said in a way to reassure you as she gives you a pat on the back.

You had to admit to yourself, you were a little nervous. It was a fake wedding, but all eyes would still be on you. You felt like just staying in bed. But if you did, Mrs.Rich would never let you live it down. Hell, none of the Riches might. “Well, alright then, let’s get going.”

Welp, there wasn’t a moment to lose. You pack up your things in your saddlebag and head through the portal with Scootaloo. God, what a mess, there were so many ponies crowding up in front of city hall. Forget getting ready for the wedding, how the fuck were you supposed to get through all this? Hell, you don’t even remember this many ponies being in Ponyville. Though, they were more focused on getting inside to notice you were among them. “Sheesh, I get it, I’m popular, but why is it right now that they choose to be a giant clog in my butt?”

Scootaloo cringed a little from your turn of phrase. “Ok, one; That sounds totally gross. Two; Well, it’s kind of like how it works for Twilight.”

“How do you figure?” You turn to Scootaloo, confused.

“Well, Twilight is a princess and all that, but everypony usually leaves her alone or treats her like they always have. Then sometimes, BAM! Suddenly she’s the biggest thing ever! And then after? She’s not a celebrity anymore until, like, the next weird moment. I dunno, it’s just how it’s always been, I guess.” Scootaloo said with a shrug.

“Well, if that’s the case, this is a bad time to be that big a celebrity. C’mon, let’s just find another way in bef-CRIPES!” Suddenly, you found yourself surrounded. Of course standing around behind the crowd would eventually get you noticed. Even worse, the ponies closest to you were a gang of paparazzi, already rushing towards you and snapping their photos, their flashes blinding you “GYAH! Geez! Stop!”

“It’s the Hero Colt himself! Hey can you smile at the camera for me?!” Said one of the news mares

“A fake wedding with limited attendance? Do you know what the Riches might be hiding?!” Said another

“The Hero Colt in this deep with such a financial empire? Is it love, or something more?” Said a tall stallion unicorn quickly writing in a journal.

“Quick! Tell me what you think about Diamond Tiara, I mean really what you think! Surely a colt like you must still have many a filly on his tail, eh?” a rather debonair looking stallion said

“So, do you plan to become the next head of the Rich Estate? Do you know anything about business? What are your thoughts?” Said a rather old looking mare

Holy christ! The picture taking and barrage of questions was already starting to aggravate you. You could barely see and all of them were asking so many questions at once! How the fuck were you going to get past them?

“Hey! Leave Anon alone! He’s got a wedding to get to, y’know? So get out of the way!” Scootaloo barked, trying to clear the way for you.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever kid. Hey, Hero Colt, Crystal Clear of the Gemstone Gazette, ready to get the real news over here. So, about that dragon that attacked Ponyville. Heard some sources say that you were in cahoots with it. Care to make a statement?” Said an awfully familiar sounding mare who just ignored Scootaloo and brushed her away.

In fact, looking at her, she wasn’t recognizable at all. A ruby red coat, a crystal cutie mark, a dark red mane shaped like a gemstone with a pencil holding it all toget- OH GODDAMMIT! YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS! WHO THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS FOOLING WITH THAT PAINT JOB! “Isn’t your name Good News?”

“Wha? What are ya talkin about, kid?” The mare managed to keep a straight face, but that brooklyn accent and pencil keeping her mane together was unmistakable. Gemstone Gazette? Bitch must have finally lost her job after that whole ninja thing. “S-said the name was Crystal Clear.”

You eye her closely. This bitch, did she really think you were going to let her get the drop on you this time? “Right, so where’s your partner then?”

“Couldn’t afford a ne- I mean, Crystal Clear works alone. Always have, always will. It’s how it is” She said, faltering a little in her speech, realizing she may have given something away. Suddenly though, she puts on a brave face and gives you a bit of a cocky smirk “Besides, what if I was? I wouldn’t be doin’ nothing underhoofed. Just asking questions, that’s all.”

You narrow your eyes at her, not trusting her for an instant. “Right…”. Oh Anon, here we go again. This bitch, bothering you once again despite what happened last time. What did she hope to accomplish? Did she really expect you to answer her question? Was this bitch fucking serious? Good News, her questioning and cheap methods could have you standing there forever as you match your wit with hers in the ultimate showdown of bullshittery. Yes, a challenge to see which one truly was the biggest shit eater…

But fuck that shit, you had a wedding to get to. Without a word, you slip on your horn and look to all the reporters with a cocky smirk. “Hey, you all want a real story?!” You yell out. You actually catch the positive attention of the surrounding reporters, all except for Good News.

“Ah nuts…” Was all she could say before her, and every reporter just disappeared when your horn released a giant flash of light.

“Woah, w-what just happened?” Scootaloo asked, blown away by the sudden disappearance of the pony paparazzi.

“Didn’t have time for a stupid subplot, now let’s just get inside bef-” Suddenly, you feel a tugging at your leg. You look to your left to see a golden coated colt with a shiny brown downward curved mane and an explosion of fireworks as a cutie mark. “Huh wha?”

“Hey! Hey! Are you really Anon, the Hero Colt?” The colt asked, jumping side to side in excitement.

“Uh, yeah...Um…” What did this kid want?

“I’m Roman Candle! But friends call me Sparky! Can I get an autograph? Or are you going to send me to the moon like you did those other guys?” Woah, despite that last part sounding grim, he still just hopped around in excitement as he busted out an autograph book. “I mean, those guys kind of deserved to go to the moon, they were being really annoying. My Dad says paparazzi are lower than sugar free candy.”

“The moon?! I didn’t send them to the moon, I just sent them back where they came from and…” You look back to see other ponies slowly pulling out autograph books around you. “What’s going on?”

“Erm, Mr.Anon, sir, we kind of all came from Fillydelphia to come to the wedding, but they won’t let us in. So we thought we’d just get an autograph… i-if you don’t mind. Y-you’re not gonna send us to the moon, right?” A stallion said as he meekly made his way towards you.

“And I came from Manehatten. This was supposed to be the event of the month and we’re not even allowed inside! Surely you can spare an autograph for my daughter, right?” Said a rather pushy mare

And indeed, some of the crowd began to gather, holding up their autograph books towards you to sign. This you could handle however, especially since it made you look good. “Sure kid, I can give you an autograph! In fact, Everypony gets an autogra- and oh sh-” Just as you said that, more of the crowd began to gather, mentioning to themselves that they held back out of fear, but now willing to approach as you seem so nice. The hell! Fuck you, Twilight! Get your royal ass over here and take some of this load! Why do you get to be not popular today and-.

“Anon, we don’t have time for this! It’ll be tomorrow by the time you sign all those books. What are you doing?!” Scootaloo whispered to you, surprised at your decision to sign autographs rather than just getting to town hall. “I thought you said you didn’t have time for sideplots, or whatever you meant.”

You took Roman’s autograph book and already began to sign it as you began to sweat, trying to think of a way out of this. Fuck! You just wanted to be nice for your fans, you didn’t expect them ALL to want an autograph. You looked to Roman’s excited eyes as you finish writing your name and hand him back the book. “T-there you are, Roman.”

“Wow! I got an autograph from the Hero Colt! Woohoo!” Roman said as he ran around, ecstatic about what you have done for him. “Now all I gotta do is get some bits for my train ride home!”

Wut? “...bits for a train ride home? Where are your parents?”

“At home, I kind of just got the idea to come here by myself! But now I need to make money so I can go home before they realize I'm gone! You wouldn’t have any extra bits, would you?” Again, he sounded rather peppy for being in a rather grim situation.

“Yeah, yeah sure…” You didn’t mind getting a few bits out of your saddlebag for him to use. But as you went for it, you realized you didn’t really need to. As in, you not only had to not give him bits, but you also didn’t need to spend so much time signing autographs either. You had two charges on your horn, and you already used one, so why not just use the other to help you out a little more? “Actually, how about I send you home instantly with my magic?”

“Golly, Anon, you can do that? That’d help me lots!” He said, still hopping about like the firecracker he was.

“Figured, heh” You look over to the rest of the crowd and give them a strong and brave expression. Yeah, this was probably maybe what being a hero colt was all about too, solving a problem and helping everyone out while not ruining a day as important as this. Surely they’d all appreciate a teleport home to go with an autograph. “Alright, Everypony, you all want an autograph, right?” You call out. They all nod, of course they did. “And how about a free ride home too?”. And with those words, they all lit up and murmured to themselves before letting out ‘yes’ and ‘and that would be swell’ and other similar agreements. You simply asked them to hold up their autograph books, and with a cast of magic, you instantly teleported them back home with a signed book. No fuss, no need for goodbyes, and no useless dialogue. Anon, you truly are a genius! You just chuckle to yourself “If this was some long winded story, that’d have been like….five chapters.”

“Anon?! Are you nuts?!” Scootaloo let out in surprise. The hell was her problem?

You just roll your eyes at her “Scoots, relax. I just sent them back home. We don’t have time to sign autographs and do interviews and stuff, remember?”

Scootaloo just brings a hoof to her face, letting out a small “ow” when she smacks her sunglasses into herself. She then shakes her head, and whaps you as well “Anon! You just used both your charges! BOTH OF THEM! What are you supposed to do now?!”

“Uhh… Walk over to town hall and get ready?” Ok, you used two charges, so what? Not like you had any adventures planned today. “What’s got you in a twis-GAH!” You get startled when Scootaloo puts her hooves between your cheeks and shakes your head to and fro.

“YOU CRAZY COLT! ALL SORTS OF BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU ALL THE TIME! PLUS, LAST TIME THERE WAS A BIG WEDDING EVENT IN PONYVILLE, A BUGBEAR ATTACKED! YOU MULTIPLY THAT WITH YOUR LUCK AND ALL SORTS OF THINGS CAN HAPPEN! THE ROOF CAN COLLAPSE, A MONSTER CAN ATTACK, CHRYSALIS CAN SHOW UP OUT OF NOWHERE, OR EVEN…” Scootaloo gasps as she puts her hooves to her cheeks, shivers, and speaks in a low terrified voice “What if Mrs. Rich gets so cheesed off that things went wrong that she gains some kind of crazy legendary earth pony strength and rips Equestria apart in a furious fury?”

...Wut? Wow, why was she worried all of a sudden? Ok, things usually end up making every day of your life interesting. But today? You had fucking security detail, and not much else to do afterwards, so you could just hang at the house or lounge with Fluttershy since she’s back. “Scoots, sheesh, get a hold of yourself.” You say as you give your cheeks a rub, they were a little sore from the shaking. “We got security, remember? Plus, everything seems to be going fine so far, nothing bad is gonna happen.”

“I just… I dunno, I…” Scootaloo seemed to have just gotten all heeby jeeby about the whole thing. Sheesh, wedding jitters and she isn’t even the one getting married.

You calmly put a hoof to her shoulder, and give her a gentle smile “It’s gonna be ok, Scoots. C’mon, let’s just get inside and get this whole thing rolling, ok?”

“...Right, right. Besides, what am I worried about anyway? Rainbow Dash is in town, so if anything bad does happen, she’ll take care of it.” She says as she wipes her brow, already feeling better.

Your eye twitches from those words, why did she have to say it in such a humiliating way? “Y’know, I could also do something. I have more than just the horn, remember?”

“I know, I’m just messing with you. Starlight said you had some pretty sweet moves, so I’m sure you could do something.” Scootaloo said as she began to walk towards town hall.

“Then why did you freak out just a few minutes ago?” You ask her, having some doubt to her words as you walk alongside her.

“Because those things could actually happen. There’s still some things you can’t possibly beat without your horn, Mrs. Rich being one of them. Anon, I’m serious, I think she could chuck Twilight’s entire castle past Canterlot if this somehow went wrong.”

Ok, now she was exaggerating. “Scoots… That’s not even possible, how could that possibly happen?”

“Anon, don’t you remember that Rockhoof, through sheer force of will, got super strong in an instant?” Scootaloo asked.

“Yeah, but like, that’s just a legend.” You say, causing Scootaloo to stop in her tracks as she just stares at you hard “...Wut? What’s wrong?”

“Anon, Rockhoof is real, we saw him like, during the whole Pony of Shadows thing. He spoke to you and everything” Scootaloo reminded you

“Oh, right, yeah! Ha, he was that viking like…” Your eyes suddenly go wide when you realized that the whole legend was actually true. “...Chuck Twilight’s castle, y-you say?” You mention with a gulp

“Y-yeah, and that’s after she sends you twenty feet… straight down.” Scootaloo says, stomping her hoof down to illustrate her point.

“H-haha… Y-yeah, y-you’re right. Let’s, uh, let’s just get inside and make sure everything is ok.” You say as you both made your way past the now dwindled crowd towards the front door.

There were still a few ponies around, some just discussing things, others trying to get into town hall. Really, how were you supposed to approach the front door when everyone was just going gaga over nothing? It really was starting to annoy you rather quickly what a big deal everyone seemed to be making this. Hell, as you and Scootaloo approached the main entrance, you could see Number Four turning away an old rich unicorn mare, with a white grayish coat and a rather rich but casual looking dress, from the door. You couldn’t see her cutie mark behind the dress.

“Are you sure you can’t let me in? I can pay you double of what they’re paying you now.” Said the mare, trying to bribe Number Four into letting her pass.

But Number Four, being rather suave and smooth, merely bowed to her and apologized. “I’m truly sorry, Mrs. Golden, but I simply cannot allow you inside.”

“But why not? Not many ponies have gone inside already, there must be enough available space for quite a few ponies, especially for ones such as myself.” She was trying to be as polite, and perhaps, even as alluring as possible, but Four wouldn’t budge.

“Indeed, you are correct, we still do have some room. But understand this, this false wedding is meant to be imperfect. It is engineered to simply be on par. Now you, with your perfect elegance and beauty, would be enough to disrupt such a balance by making the wedding something everypony would truly want to come to. Sometimes, Mrs. Golden, allowing the desirables inside is what makes things undesirable.” Four says that last part with a chuckle, obviously saying it as some sort of joke.

The old pony known as Golden had herself a giggle, and bowed to Four “Oh my, I never thought of it that way. I would make things above average, wouldn’t I? You, sir, are very astute in your observations, and polite to boot.”

Four just waves his talons at her in jovial dismissal “You’re too kind, but I am simply a lowly clone of my originator, I do not deserve such words.”

“Oh, but you do! No offense to ‘him’, but you are polite and much more intelligent than he is. Clearly you should have been the Hero Colt’s father, if I do say so myself.” She tells him as she motions towards an old pony behind her, garbed in a black suit. He pulls out a parasol, and holds it over her. “It really is a shame. Oh well. Although, Princess Twilight’s castle is nearby, perhaps I could have a chat with her instead about that new school of hers.”

“I’m sure she’d be happy to talk about it. Fare thee well, Mrs. Golden.” Four said to her as he raised her hoof gently and gave it a kiss.

“Oh m-my” She said, blushing and flustered “You do know how to treat a lady. Ahrm, but let us not get too intimate, shall we? As you are well aware of, I am married”

“Yes, you are, but it is hard not to be polite to one so alluring. But now I speak of subjects I shouldn’t. I will leave you be to your devices, as I still have a duty to uphold.” Four said to her. After that, Mrs.Golden left with her butler, trying to hide her blushing face from the public. Seems she hasn’t been treated like a young lady in quite some time.

“Wow, he really is polite.” You were just watching from a distance, amazed how ANYTHING that came from Discord could be so nice and flattering. “It’s kind of creepy, coming from him.”

“C’mon, Anon, Number Four is cool! Really, he should be your dad, he’s pretty rad.” Scootaloo comments, obviously still seeing Number Four as this amazing guy that, while you agree he’s pretty damn great, he isn’t as cool as Discord is… Maybe. Christ, are you having a thought that he might be? He’s just a clone, a variant of Discord that was rushed out in a shorter time than when he usually does things. Then again, he lacks the mean and underhanded streak Discord has, which actually seems to make him boring as well, at least in your eyes. Sure, the chest thing was great, but… Hmm, it was pretty great.

Still, in the end, if he became the dominant force, that means the Discord you knew would be gone. Obviously, this is probably not how it actually works, but Discord, in the end, has given you so much, asking for so little in return… Sometimes. Yeah, you still prefer Discord, he has more personality and you’ve known him the longest. He was one of your best buds. “Scoots, I mean, sure, he’s great, but my dad has been pretty great too. He gave me this horn, this life, a home, and allowed me to make a bunch of great friends, including you. Sure, he can be a butt, but he’s a butt I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world, not even a nicer clone.”

Scootaloo flinched at those words, and looked down, feeling shameful. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have even said that. Yeah, I guess Discord is pretty cool too, and he has been pretty awesome towards you when you put it that way. I guess I just wanted Number Four to be his own guy, that’s all. He doesn’t even seem afraid of disappearing at all. You’d think it’d be scary or something.”

“It’s fine. As for disappearing? Yeah, it sounds scary, but my dad has made independent acting clones before, and they never seem to care about it. Number Four, heck, all the clones are probably ready to disappear without issue. And…” You already knew Scootaloo really didn’t want him to go away. Did she see him as a father figure? Man, he got to her quick in such a short amount of time. Then again, girls can be pretty emotional like that. “I know you really like him, Scoots. I know he’s nice and neat and all that, but he’s just a clone, probably just a piece of my dad’s personality. Even he understands it. Plus, he mentioned my dad would gain his memories, right? He won’t really be gone, he’ll just bring his piece back to my Dad. If you’re willing, after that, I’m sure he’ll be pretty cool to you too, he already seems to trust you enough as is. I mean, he picked you as my best mare. Plus, knowing him, it’ll be a hilarious reaction when all of Four’s, and even Five’s, memories slap his brain. He’ll probably lose his mind over the fact that you’re now his actual friend through them. But in the end, I think he’ll secretly not mind that.”

“I-I guess that’s ok, sorta…” She clearly still was not comfortable about it. “But isn’t your Dad, like, even a jerk to his friends?”

“To Aunt Fluttershy? He’s like a kitten. To Spike and Big Mac? He’s pushy, but he does love to hang out with them and get his O and O in. With me? He knows he can push me the farthest with his shenanigans, but he probably, in the end, treats me at a level near my Aunt. You just got to get to really know him. You know what I mean? It’ll be fine, I promise.”

Scootaloo takes a deep breath, slowly accepting the reality that Number Four and Five would have to leave soon. She still felt, that if it was her, that knowing you’d have to disappear would be extremely scary to her. But if the others would be ok with it, and would remember her in some way, then maybe it’d be fine. “I believe you, and I know what you mean. It’ll be weird though…” She forces a smile “Suddenly having him as a friend. I know the girls won’t want to hang around him too much, but if he can be as cool as his clones, then I’m fine with it.”

“Cool, that’s good to hear. Really, it is" Good, she finally accepted it, just in time too "Heh, looks like the crowd is moving away too, let’s go say hi to Four and see what’s up” You say, walking forward towards Town Hall, with Scootaloo trailing behind.

“Ahh, I am glad I have eyes that do not deceive. Greetings, Anon, Young Scootaloo. You both are right on time.” Four says, as he does a polite bow to the both of you.

“Hey Number Four, saw you handle that old mare earlier, that was super smooth. Usually, rich ponies can be pretty mean.” Scootaloo comments, smiling up towards Four with a gentle grin.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that. Their type just have a lack of patience due to becoming used to convenience. Deep down, they are the same as you and I. Well, all of you anyway, if you understand what I mean. Oh, Anon, did you enjoy opening that chest? I admit, I don’t have a full grasp of chaos magic like our originator, but I believe leaving Number Five behind to fix my overdoing of things seemed to have worked out.” Number Four said. It seemed, much like you have, he overdoes chaotic magic casting.

You nod, it did make you nearly cry after all. “Yeah, it came out of nowhere. But it was so flipping cool to experience. Thanks for that, really.”

“It truly was nothing, a simple cast of chaos magic was all it really was.” Heh, Four was pretty humble too.

“Number Four, what’s going on inside? Are we late? Or early? And what’s up with turning so many ponies away? Is it really supposed to be that uhhh, what word would you use for it?” Scootaloo asked

“At this point? Par to slightly subpar would be the word, or words, I’d use. And believe it or not, you both are still quite early. They are still setting up inside, but most of the guests have arrived as well. Young Scootaloo, I really do apologize that I will be leaving soon, is there anything I can do for you before that moment comes?” Four asked, looking down on her with a pleasant smile. He just suddenly said that too, perhaps he could sense her worry and just wanted to let her know it'd be ok.

“Just promise me you and Five will be cool enough to say goodbye before you go, got it?” Scootaloo removes her sunglasses to give him a forlorn, but serious look, doing her best to keep things straight.

“You have my word. In fact, I’m sure Anon, with his wily ways, will find a way to make sure nothing goes wrong.” Four looks to you with a wink.

“Ah, trust me, I’ll guilt trip him to here and back if he even tries.” You say with a soft chuckle

“Ah, ever the cunning and crafty Anon. Well, before you both go inside, let me just say that Mrs. Rich is being rather demanding. I’d suggest doing what she says and staying out of her way. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to you both.” Four says as he begins to open the door.

“Really? Sheesh, why is she acting like that?” Scootaloo asked.

“She invited some of the press inside. It seems she’s trying to make this whole event into something glamorous and chic while still being incredibly simple and unremarkable. In other words, she’s trying to make sure everything goes perfectly. So just prepare yourselves, and do as you’re told.” Four says as he steps aside after opening the door.

You nod “We will. There won’t be a problem out of us.”

“I know. Good luck you two, and especially to you, Anon.” Four tells you as you both head on inside.

Wow, everything was rather… Unremarkable. There were barely any decorations, no wedding cake, only a few random ponies on either side of the seats, and Mrs. Rich herself seemed to be having a chat with some ponies with cameras up towards the podium. Hell, even Starlight was up there with her, and she just looked utterly uncomfortable.

“Well well, look at you two, lookin’ pretty swanky.” Said a familiar voice of a filly from the bronx. You and Scootaloo look to your right to see Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Babs Seed, and… Spike? They were all sitting at the back row together, but it just made you wonder why. Well, in Spike’s case anyway.

“Thanks Babs, and heya! Oh, and hi girls! And er… Spike. How has everything been so far for you guys?” Scootaloo turned over to the group with an enthusiastic smile. Despite Four's report, she wanted to see how her friends have been handling things so far.

“Not much happened so far. Mrs. Rich has been doin’ all sorts of preppin with them news ponies up in front, Diamond Tiara is in the back gettin’ ready with Silver Spoon, Mr. Rich is with the mayor, and we just been waiting here waiting for y’all.” Applebloom said as she updated both you and Scootaloo on the situation.

“I kind of wish there were a little more decoration and stuff. This is supposed to be a wedding, but everything looks so drab. It’s not romantic at all.” Sweetie Belle whined.

“Isn’t that the point?” Spike asked “It’s supposed to be a cheap pretend wedding on purpose, right? Besides, the romantic part is when Anon and Diamond are up there saying their vows and stuff.” Spike suddenly stops and starts tapping under his chin, feeling like taking back some of his statement. “Then again, there isn’t even any cake or afterparty or nothing. I know if me and Rarity had a pretend wedding like this, it’d at least have a wedding cake.”

Nobody says a word on that, not even you, you all just stare as Spike at how fucking delusional he was being right now about his chances with Rarity.

Spike though, just shrugged it off, although he did have a slightly embarrassed blush on his face “Hey, I said pretend wedding.”

Everyone has a giggle at that, with Babs nudging him with a “suuuuure”. You, however, never got why everyone just laughs at statements like that, it wasn’t that funny.

“Annnnnnyway, what are you doing here anyway, Spike? Seems kind of weird seeing you hanging with the crusaders.” You ask him, seeing as he was out of place.

“I asked, how else? That Discord clone guy said only five friends of yours were allowed, and since I’m your friend, he let me through. But if you wanted a serious answer, Twilight suggested I should go. She got a letter this morning from that creepy Neighsay guy saying she can pretty much do whatever she wants with the school and now she’s all suspicious about it and stuff. I tried to tell her that he probably realized how important it all was and changed his mind on being such a tightbutt, but she thinks there’s more to it than that. I think she wanted me to go so she could try to figure things out herself without being told she’s being nuts. Opening up a new school has already been rough on her, and now this happens, it worries me, y’know? But I also know Twilight knows friendship is more important than anything else, so I’m sure she’ll figure out that making sure her school opens without a hitch will be on the top of her priority list.” Spike explains to you. It was clear he was worried about Twilight, but wanted to avoid pushing her buttons.

“O-oh, erm, y-yeah, that makes sense.” Oogh, you felt a sense of guilt on that one. But why should you? This is on Twilight. All she has to do is make sure her school is successful when it comes to nonponies and she’ll be golden. Really, she was just being a mental case. Just move on from it, Anon... “But, wait…” You then notice something that makes you count in your head. One, Two, Three, Four. There were only four friends on the seats, as you knew Scootaloo didn’t count since she was your best stallion… mare… filly. “Five? But there’s only four of you. Huh, where’s Big Mac?” Actually, you would have really loved Lyra and Bon Bon, but that would have made six.

The girls giggled at that as Sweetie spoke up about that. “He went to make a delivery for his special somepony. Which, considering how far he has to go, is super romantic. He’s willing to go that far, just for her. It’s really sweet.” She said with a longing sigh

“Heh, yeah, it really is. Never took cousin Big Mac as the romantic type, but then again, I wouldn't know since he doesn't say much.” Babs comments as she looks over to you with a smirk “Speaking of, you got a preview of your wedding vow, Anon?”

Wedding vow? Ugh, you still haven’t really come up with one yet. “Still working on it, actually.”

Sweetie belle just brought her hoof to her face on that “Of course you are, typical Anon.”

Godammit! Vows were hard! And it hasn’t been on your mind due to all the other shit you had to deal with! “Give me a break! I had a lot to deal with lately!”

“Like what?! Besides the exam thing, what else is more important than your wedding?!” Sweetie shouted at you.

You open your mouth to retort, but then you realize you can’t actually say it. Dammit, you can’t just say you were spying on Twilight’s students, it’d make you look bad. Well, worse than just saying nothing. Luckily, due to your hesitation, it gave Applebloom enough time to raise her hooves towards the both of you “Now relax you two, we don’t wanna have a fight right before the wedding!” Then she began to whisper as she looked over at Mrs. Rich “Besides, ah don’t wanna see Mrs. Rich lose her cool. She’s been pretty calm so far, but she’s also looked pretty easily irritable too.”

Sweetie Belle looks over at her, then sits back with a huff “Fine… I guess if you were really that busy, then it’s understandable.”

Damn right it was!

“What are you all fighting about? Whatever it is, perhaps the Great and Powerful Trixie can use her new and amazing powers of friendship to help you out in ways Twilight cannot.” Trixie says, as she just… suddenly appears from the far side of Sweetie Belle and sits down, looking at you all with an arrogant smirk.

“Trixie?... wait. Are you like, the fifth friend on my side?” Seriously?

“Mhmm, I am. I spent the night readying my wagon after Discord had it moved and…” Suddenly she just, fell asleep, leaning over and falling right on Sweetie. So much for fixing the problem, was she up all night 'fixing' up her wagon?

“U-ugh… She’s been doing this since she got here… A little help, please?” Sweetie asked as she began pushing up the sleeping mare off her body.

You almost laughed at that, but held it in the best you could to prevent causing a fight. But then something hit you. They were there, but where were Fluttershy and Discord? As Babs and Applebloom helped Sweetie, you looked to Spike to ask him about it. “Hey Spike, have you seen my Dad or Aunt Fluttershy yet?”

“Nope. Guess you didn’t run into em’ either, huh? That’s a little weird though, considering Discord could have just teleported here by now. And, considering Fluttershy would be looking forward to this, it doesn’t really make sense for him to wait around. Wonder what happened, I hope they're ok.” Spike said, showing some worry as he tried to mentally figure out what happened.

Hmm, actually, you could still contact him. After all, you both never removed the codecs from your ears. “Well, I could just contact him. Here, let me just…”

“Anon, Scoota…loo? Hm, yes, I think that’s your name.” Mrs. Rich said as she began to approach the both of you. Both you and Scootaloo felt a cold shiver down your spines as Mrs. Rich just appeared behind you, she must have finished discussing things with the newsponies. “Starlight, please take Anon’s best stallion and prep her for her role, I need to speak to Anon alone with my husband.”

“Hey, wait! I know what to do! This isn’t my first wedding, y’know? Besides, Anon needs me to help him get ready and stuff. Also, can we just say ‘Best Filly’, please? ‘Best Stallion’ just makes the whole thing sound... Uncomfy. Although, Heh…” Scootaloo chuckled to herself when she realized something. “ ‘Best Filly’, that just makes me sound super cool” she says quietly to herself.

“Yes, Yes, whatever you want, just please go with Starlight. I’d like everypony to be on point, smile, and not do anything to ruin the moment and…” She starts looking around when she realizes Discord and Fluttershy weren’t there, and in a dark voice she said “Where are they…?” Oh fuck, she was going into scary mode already.

“Mrs. Rich, please, remember, your own rules apply to you too… Erm. Anyway, I’m sure they’re on their way.” Starlight immediately realized what she meant, and did her best to keep her calm. “And remember, you said this was for Anon and your daughter, not for yourself. Let me handle Scootaloo, and you handle Anon. Alright? Remember, nothing is wrong, and nothing will go wrong. Your words, not mine.” Starlight was doing her best to defuse the already volatile situation. “Me and my assistant can handle it, alright, Mrs. Rich?”

Mrs. Rich looked to her, then you, then towards the other ponies in the gallery who began to get anxious. She then took a breath, and calmed herself. “Yes, you’re right. Thank you for reminding me. Come along, Anon, we have much to discuss.”

You didn’t even get a chance to speak with Discord, or Starlight, and all Scootaloo could do was whisper a good luck to you as Mrs. Rich took you past the podium and down a hallway to the right. You could tell her to wait, but Four suggested you do as she says. Probably really is the best advice at this point.

Oh boy, things were gonna get tough.

Mrs. Rich led you down the empty hallway to a set of empty doors, being silent, looking back at you at times. Odd thing was though, you didn’t see Mr. Rich or Mayor Mare anywhere, huh. “Mrs. Rich, where’s Mr. Rich?”

“He’s not actually down this particular hallway. No, I actually wish to speak to you alone. I only mentioned him because that Starlight seems to think I’m too stressed to handle things on my own.” She stopped, and turned to look at you with a solemn look. “She’s wrong of course, but what I want to talk to you about would worry my husband if he was around to hear it.”

Worry her husband? What was she getting at? Did something happen? ”What’s wrong, Mrs. Rich?”

“It’s Diamond, I don’t know what happened to her, but she has been rather down and doubtful of herself lately. She suddenly wishes to be more your partner than your wife, which given the situation of age, isn’t exactly a bad thing. The real problem is the fact that she doesn’t seem to feel she isn’t good enough anymore. She told me such preposterous things, such as telling me that she manipulated you and your feelings.” Mrs. Rich scoffed “Highly doubtful, I wouldn’t even know where she’d get such an idea. But…” Mrs. Rich was doing her best not to look sad or brokenhearted as her voice quivered just a tad “It doesn’t change the fact that she doesn’t feel worthy of you anymore. I think it’s just wedding jitters over a fake wedding, but I won’t take any chances. So first, do you plan to see this through?” She gave you a serious look as she asked this. “I am aware that young love is fickle, but you’d be surprised how much it has worked at even younger ages. Therefore, your answer must be exactly what you feel.”

Christ, she was just springing this on you? Now?! How do you even answer this? Was she even serious? This was not a question you’d expect out of her. Really, you’d just expect her to force you into just accepting it.

Ok, let’s think. Diamond is pushy, and manipulative at times. But it does seem she genuinely loves you, and will bite the head off of anyone who even insults you. You could free yourself to maybe find someone better, or become a degenerate who fucks anyone willing… But Diamond was affectionate, and possibly good wife material, she never even seems to lose her focus when another good looking colt or stallion is around. She did say she wanted to better herself, and she already knows a lot more about your secrets. Really, you could say yes, help her feel better, and then see how things go with this whole partner thing. “I do. I know we’re just foals and stuff, but I like her enough to see it through. If I can say without offense, I’d still maybe would like to marry her one day.” That should be a good enough answer.

“Hmm, a mature answer indeed…” She then shifts her eyes as she mutters “And one that saves me from the press, ahrm.” She then looks back at you “And I assume you have your vow ready, correct? And what do you plan to present to her as your binding love?”

“Well, Scootaloo is holding on to this locket for me. As for my vow...erm…” You still had nothing. And even stranger, it didn’t seem to bother Mrs. Rich when you hesitated on your answer.

“As expected. This is why I hired two marriage specialists to help you, they’ll be waiting for you behind this door.” She points to the farthest door visible. “I figured your hectic life would hinder your thought process. At least, I’d hope that would be the case, with the reason NOT being that you were just being lazy or incompetent.”

Ouch, that is kind of harsh. But really, with the whole Neighsay thing, the former was a pretty viable reason. “Yeah, my life has been kind of heavy for the past few days. Thanks, Mrs. Rich. But uh, I kind of feel bad that’d you go and waste money on some experts just for me.”

“Don’t be foolish, I didn’t spend a bit. They said they knew you quite well and have worked on many successful weddings. Considering I don’t think it takes much to prep a colt for a false wedding, I’d say it was a fine deal.” She said with a rather greedy smirk.

Two experts that knew you? Pinkie and Rarity? Nah, they were elements and too high profile for Mrs. Rich to let in. Bah, nah, it’s obviously Lyra and Bonbon. Ha! So they weaseled themselves in after all, that’s fucking neato. “Yeah, it sounds like it really was. And don’t worry, Mrs. Rich, I promise I’m really devoted to this.”

“I know you are, you would have stayed home if you weren’t. But now, I have a favor to ask. Again, this ties to your devotion to my daughter.” She shivered as she mustered up her next words, as if it nearly hurt her to think about it “So, without telling me anything other than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’, would you be willing to spend time with Diamond at a resort at Las Pegasus for a few days? It’s sudden, I know, especially since you both would have to leave soon after the wedding is over, but I believe it’d cheer her up greatly to know that you, Anon, would be personally surprising her with this gift that you came up with on your own without my help whatsoever.” Mrs. Rich said as she revealed two golden tickets with the pictures of… OH GODDAMMIT, THEM?! THEIR RESORT?! YOU KNEW THEY HAD ONE, BUT OF ALL THE PLACES, THAT ONE?!

Calm yourself, Anon, you knew what she was asking. She wanted you to go up to Diamond and say it was all your idea. She wanted you and Diamond to have a good time and see if you both were truly compatible at this point. But fucking christ, a few days? Well, even though Twilight’s school would be open, you’d still have a whole week before you go. However, Where did she get those tickets from? And how much did it fucking cost her? You slowly reach and take the tickets, and put them in your saddlebag “Sure, I think it’d be a great way for me and Diamond to really spend some time together. But Mrs. Rich, how much did these cost? They couldn’t have been cheap. I could compen-” But Mrs. Rich snapped at you before you could even finish that sentence.

“Don’t treat me as if I’m poor, the only reason I’d accept compensation is if somepony borrowed from me or my husband. Secondly, the tickets were free, directly from the brothers themselves.” Her snapping anger once again became one of her trademark scummy smirks when she mentioned how free the tickets were.

Free? Oh christ, it’s probably worse than you thought then. They had to have had an angle, and she obviously fell for it. “I kind of know those guys, and they don’t usually give anything for free. Did they make you sign anything? Or gave you some ridiculous condition for the tickets?”

Mrs. Rich reaches over with a hoof, and whaps your head lightly “What do you take me for? A commoner? Don’t insult me, only morons and peasants take something for free without reading the conditions. This was the best kind of free, Anon, without any strings attached. They had been offering tickets to their resort at a five percent off special, which that of in itself, is insulting. I tried to reason with them that I’d pay, with fifteen percent off, for two tickets, but they wouldn’t budge. I tried using the angle of 'helping foals' to get my way, but still, they would not budge. Then I told them who I was, and what foals I was helping, that being my beautiful and illustrious daughter, and you, The Hero Colt. Hoho, for some reason, the one without a mustache screamed out ‘it’s free’ and I made a deal before his brother could even take it back. Oh they argued about it, but the tickets were mine, and that's all that mattered” Mrs. Rich snickered to herself “I love it when they can't haggle” She said as her head tilted forward, her expression looking just as evil as Chrysalis herself.

Christ, she can be scary. “N-no, offense, Mrs. R-rich. B-but did you have to say that in such a scary way?”

“You should join me on tea with the rest of the upper crust, Anon, it'd make your head spin. Ahhh, but that’s a conversation for another day. Anon, please stand straight for me, head up.”

“O-ok” You do what she says, feeling a little antsy about how scary it felt to be around her all of a sudden. But what came next, was even more unexpected. She suddenly began to gently hugging you, sniffling lightly as she did so, you could even hear her quietly thank you for going along with it all. It was a soft and gentle hug, very motherly.

When it was over, she pulled back a bit, and looked at you with teary eyes. “A-Anon…”

“Y-yes, Mrs. Rich?” You ask, feeling a warm fuzziness, and wanting to help her even more.

“If you tell Anypony, especially the press, that I showed this much affection towards you, I will bury you, hire somepony to dig you out, and then I will bury you again. Is that clear?” Despite how heavy that was, she was still soft and teary eyed in her tone and expression.

“C-crystal…” You gulped. Not quite twenty feet scary, but just as effectively terrifying.

“Good. Now, I need to go clean up before I greet my husband. I don’t want to worry him, and I want to make sure he’s alright and not overwhelmed by what’s going on.” Mrs. Rich said as she stood up straight, carefully wiping her hoof at her eye.

Aww, that actually sounded really sweet of her, to support Mr. Rich like that. Well, really, it was normal, but for her, it was sweet. “That’s really cool of you, Mrs. Rich, I can see why Mr. Rich married you.” Well, you couldn’t really, but whatever floats his boat. You only said it because you genuinely cared enough about her.

“I know… and you won’t mention anything about that either, I still have an image to uphold. Just know that I love my family dearly, even if I don’t show it, or sometimes seemingly forget about it. I would trade in every bit I have for them. I don’t plan on that ever actually happening, but it’s still something I’m willing to do. As for my husband himself; I hope, Anon, that you become as great as he is someday. And… mnngh, I am getting too sentimental and… OH!” Mrs. Rich growled at herself as she suddenly looked at you with a sharp look “I don’t care what that mare has to say. Where are your father and aunt? They should have been here and seated by now.” Suddenly, Mrs. Rich was pretty much back to her old self, and being a bit too stressed all of a sudden as well.

“R-relax, I have a way to contact them instantly. I promise they’ll be here before the wedding actually starts.” Or, you hoped so anyway.

“Hmph, I see, just let them know that we'll be starting soon. Now, I have some business to attend to. Contact your father with whatever you plan to use, and then get ready with those specialists. And, furthermore… Good luck, and thank-” She doesn’t even finish that last part, she just turns and walks off before ending the sentence. Obviously, she felt she had shown too much affection for one day. She obviously didn’t want there to be sudden snapshots of her being gentle and caring when obviously her rep painted her as cold and ruthless. You’d pity her, but she obviously loved to be seen that way, or just did it for business purposes. Probably both.

With you alone in the hallway, you put your hoof to your ear and call for Discord. “Discord? Hey, Discord.” You whisper “The hell is taking you so long? Can you hear me?”

“Of course I can hear you, but I’m a tad busy at the moment, can you call back later?” Discord said, sounding calm

“No, I will not call back later! Where the fuck are you?!” The hell?! He’s gonna tell you to call back later at a time like this?!

“No need for language, Anon, it’s not my fault we’re late. It just so happens that we arrived in town, That’s the good news!” Discord said, rather cheerfully.

Good news? “Then what’s the bad news?”

“Seems my presence scared one of the passenger’s puppies to near death, Fluttershy is tending to it now. If you could give us at least fifteen to twenty minutes, we’ll be there for sure.” Discord said

That much time over a fucking puppy?! “Are you serious?! It's totally your fault! Ugh… whatever. So, I'm guessing you’re not gonna rush Fluttershy if she’s doing her best to help an animal.”

“Of course not, why would you even suggest such a thing? That would upset her. Ahh, but I can tell you’re upset about this as well, right?” Discord asked, actually seeming like he cared about your feelings.

“Not really, it’s just everypony else that’s getting antsy here. Are you sure it’s going to take that long?” You asked

“Anon, have you seen me? I’m delightfully terrifying, I make even rivers wet themselves, it’s going to take some time for the puppy to recover. But don’t fret, I promise you that Fluttershy and I will make it.” He says to assure you.

“...Yeah… Just hurry it up, huh?” You really didn’t need Mrs. Rich having a meltdown.

“Will do, see you soon, Anon.” Discord tells you before ending the call.

Ugh, this day has been a rollercoaster of good and bad so far. You remove the tickets from your saddlebag and give them a look. Hmm, It wouldn’t be too bad, right? Sounded like they were afraid of you, to the point of your name making them freak out. As long as you somehow don’t end up porking Diamond, this could actually turn out to be a good time and even have some actual relationship bonding. Plus, it’s not like you couldn’t wreck the brothers’ shit if they try anything. You put away the tickets with a smirk. Yeah, it’ll be ok.

Prepare for bug queen

You take a breath, and slowly walk into the door. Inside, there was a dresser with a mirror, a beautifully wooden tiled ceiling, a pretty potted plant with a tree that had sprouted flowers, a curtain hiding a small changing room, and a rather fresh and fragrant smell. You also noticed a mint green and very pale set of legs just under and behind the curtains. Heh, they were trying to surprise you? Cute. Should you spoil things for them? Yeah, you will, but in a humorous way. “Oh man, this room sure is empty. I think I’ll use this alone time to gather my thoughts and say bad things about my friends Lyra and Bonbon.” You say in a casual way.

“Hey! We’re not bad!” Lyra said in a shout as she opened the curtain “Especially me! Just because I took a sneaky bite of that guy’s big lolipop doesn’t mean beans!”

Bonbon just shook her head as she put a hoof on Lyra’s back to calm her “Lyra, you got duped. He knew we were here the whole time.” She said with a calm sigh “Mrs. Rich must have mentioned us or something.”

“Oh… Is that true, Anon?” Lyra asked, confused as to what just happened.

“Yep” You say with a chuckle “Heh, looks like I wasn’t too far off though when it comes to you, Lyra”

Lyra just scrunched her nose, annoyed “Yeah, well…”

Bonbon let out a little giggle herself as she stepped forward to greet you “It’ll be ok, Lyra, I won’t tell anypony. Anyway; hello Anon, as you may have already guessed, we’re your wedding consultants.”

“Yeah, I heard, how’d you both even manage that?” You ask, curious as to how they even managed to truly get the job.

“Well, it’s because that nice version of your dad wouldn’t let us in! Well, both of us in, there was some kind of stupid friend limit or something. And even as stupid as that was, I couldn’t stay mad about it” Lyra said with a giggle as she fixed up her mane a tad “He did notice how good I looked, how could I stay mad when he complimented me so well?”

Bonbon smirked as she rolled her eyes “It’s almost as if he was pretty much doing that to everypony.”

“Nah, just a few… I think. Anyway, let’s get back to the story! So, we were just walking around, and we actually heard Mrs. Rich wanted to hire some specialists in case something went south. Bonbon, being the genius she is, had a whole bunch of official looking papers with really nice words she could flash around to make it look like she was fit for the job! I mean, we both kind of are, we’ve worked on weddings before. Anyway, she managed to get the job easily with Mrs. Rich barely even reading it, and I got to fill in as an assistant! Cool story, right? Now we get to attend your wedding!”

“Well… It also helped that I agreed to do it for free, that was probably the biggest factor. Which also begs the question.” Bonbon then looks to you with a cool and calm stare “Do you actually need our help, Anon?” She then gives you a rather swarmy smirk “Are you getting cold hooves?”

“Oh, Bonbon, don’t be mean now! It may be a fake wedding, but it’s still a super nice event.” Lyra said with a gentle giggle, finding her friend’s implication funny. but a little jerkish as well. “He has no reason to be getting cold hooves over something so sweet. Oh! Wait!” Lyra chuckled sheepishly “Unless he really doesn’t have any idea how to handle a wedding. Anon, you do know what you’re supposed to do, right?”

“U-ummm, I kind of just stand there and wait for my bride, right? Say my vow, get the trinket I’m gonna give her from my best stallion, and kiss?” That’s how it was, right? Sheesh, it’s easy, you just had to figure out what you were going to tell Diamond. Then you remembered something else "Also say, 'I do'... Pretty sure that's the most important part"

“Wow, he said all that without even saying ‘ew, how gross’, he really is out of this world.” Lyra commented as she gave you a gentle pat on the head

“Yeah, but then… Do you even have a vow, Anon?” Bonbon said, noticing you had some hesitation in your tone when you spoke.

E-ergh! Dammit, did she see right through you? “Y-yeah, I sort of dunno what to tell her. Any ideas?”

“Anon! We’re not supposed to give you ideas! We’re just supposed to help you with your ideas an-” While Lyra did find the idea of giving you a vow preposterous, Bonbon, it seemed, had other ideas as she interrupted her friend.

“Just say that you vow to be her partner through the thin and thick of things, to share your life with her, and that you want to face any problem as a team, no matter how scary it could be. And before anypony asks, she’s been having issues trying to figure out if she’s been annoying to you all this time. Dunno if you knew that, but that's how I figured out what your vow should be.” She said, as Lyra immediately began to protest.

“Bonbon! Why would you say that?! I mean, it’s pretty nice, but Anon is the one who’s supposed to come up with something like that! Where did you even hear a rumor that she was doubting herself?” Lyra asked, shocked.

“I overheard it when I was checking things out. Plus, considering Anon is going to need something to perk her up, I figured that’d probably be good enough without it sounding hammy or forced. She’ll probably say something like ‘really?’ and Anon will nod and say ‘yeah, I really like being with you, Diamond. And I want our love to be real.’ . Then things will work out from there. Pretty good, right?” Bonbon was being pretty serious about this, while having a rather cheerful demeanor. She just wanted to help, afterall.

Lyra just sniffled up, finding her words sweet, and wiped her tear from her eye with her hoof “That was beautiful, Bonbon. Ok, never mind, I’m ok with that suggestion.”

And as far as you were concerned, so were you. You could make up not making your own vow by making sure the trip to Las Pegasus was awesome for her. “Yeah, me too, I have things figured out for after all this, so it should be fine and dandy. Oh, speaking of fine, hehe.” You put your saddlebag on the dresser and pull out your Starlight Hook. “Check this out girls, I got an upgrade on my grapple hook.” You hold it out for them to see.

“Ohhh! Look Bonbon, some of it is kind of shiny now, and has some weird tubey stuff on it.” Lyra pointed out giddily, finding what she was looking at neat. "That's soooo cool!"

“Yeah, huh… an upgrade, eh? Weird, considering the grapple hook itself is pretty high quality, with a long reach, and a powerful enough launcher to let you climb any height. How can you improve on that?” Bonbon asked, feeling skeptical about the whole thing. Seems she had some pride on the make of her tools, and felt they couldn’t be improved upon in anyway, especially a high quality grapple hook like that.

You gave her an arrogant smirk and flicked the taser switch, causing the line within the grapple hook to light up with a crazy electric blue as the hook itself shook rather violently. Christ, ok, don’t turn the thing on when the entire line is retracted, you could feel the damn thing rattle like no tomorrow. You shut it off, and then look to Bonbon again with a slightly less confident smile and a nervous chuckle “Ok, that kind of isn’t supposed to be turned on when the line isn’t out. Either way though, it’s basically a stunner hook now. Not only can I use it to get to where I need to go, but I can also use it to take down beasties with a flick of the switch. Just wrap it around em, and ZAP! They go down just like that! Pretty cool, huh? Really, I gotta thank my friend Starlight, she's the one who upgraded it for me.”

“...huh” Bonbon just slapped her forehead with her hoof, astonished that she somehow never thought of that before “G-gee, I-I… wow, just… Ugh, that would have made my work so much simpler. Ok, ok, you got me, that’s a pretty cool upgrade. Hmm, makes me think, really. If she can upgrade it, then maybe...”

“Ooohh, Bonbon, are you getting ideas in upgrading your old stuff like Anon did?” Lyra asked, giving a gentle nudge to her friend.

“Maaaaybe, maaaybe not. Heh, if I wasn’t such a good friend, I’d just take it back for myself. All in all, that’s pretty cool, Anon. Totally neat!” Bonbon said with a wide cheerful smile, but it was clear she was getting some sort of idea in upgrading whatever gear she was talking about.

“Totally, and… Oh, I didn’t even compliment you on how cute you look, Anon. Isn’t he the cutest, Bonbon? Just look at his mane! I wanna rub my hooves on it forever!” Lyra looked to you, giving you a kissy face and shifty eyebrows.

You just blushed deep and stepped back, dammit, was she teasing? “C’mon L-Lyra, you don’t gotta tease me like that.”

“I know, it’s just always adorably funny that you just get all flustered when I do that an-” Suddenly, there is a knock on the door as the sound of Discord, or a Discord, is heard speaking through it.

“I apologize, girls, but we are nearly ready to go. Can you please go take your seats while Anon takes what little time he has left to prepare?” Said whatever clone was behind the door.

“Already? Huh, that was sooner than I thought. Ah well…” Bonbon shrugged “C’mon, Lyra, let’s go find us some good seats.”

“Right behind you, Bonbon! Good luck, Anon! We’ll be rooting for you!” Lyra said with a giddy giggle as she followed Bonbon out the door.

And you just stood there, as nervousness and doubt began to fill your mind. Hell, you even felt a strange loneliness after the two left. Soon, all eyes would be on you, and you had to make sure to be genuine while not fucking things up. You look to the mirror on the dresser with a frown. “Dammit, Anon, this should be easy. Relax, you have the vow, you have the tickets…” You sigh, put away your grapple hook, and give your saddlebag a gentle pat as you try to compose your thoughts. “Why are you even worried? Nah, don’t be worried! She needs your help, and you gotta make sure this wedding works out for everybody! Plus, you’ll be able to see Fluttershy again really soon, and she always cheers you up! Haha...ha, talking to myself…again… Still, I pretty much have the advantage here. I mean, the tickets were free goddammit, and I have enough in my arsenal to make sure shit doesn't go wrong... Yeah”

You chuckle sheepishly to yourself in the mirror, then smile cooly and confidently as you come to realize that things were truly in your favor. “Yeah… I think I got this and- hm?” Suddenly, the door behind you opens, revealing Number Five. “Oh, hey Number Five.” You say, just to be pleasant to the guy. You don’t really turn around either, you were too focused on your thoughts.

“Ah, hello Anon…” Five says as he slowly closes the door “Don’t mind me, just performing a task…”

“Huh, what kind of a t-” Wait a second… Five didn’t talk. You quickly look back to him, and see a knife fly towards you instead. Near instantly, you manage to dodge the knife by tilting your head as it cuts and sticks into the wall. You then looked upon the Discord clone, who had green glowing eyes full of hatred and disdain... Oh god no. “C-Chrysalis?!”

“Well, damn, seems my ability to disguise myself has gotten rusty. Still…” She raises her talons, their tips glowing green, as she picks you up, telekinetically, by the neck, and brings you to the wall slowly as she cackles. Her talons begin to morph into her hole-ridden horn as the torso slowly morphs into her head, the rest of the false body following suit to reveal her true form. “I can’t forget my manners. Hello, Anon, I’ve missed you.” She said with a vicious low tone, cruel and full of malevolence. "I was beginning to think you may have forgotten about me. But look at you, figured me out so quickly; I guess you'd never forget a pretty face like mine, right?" She said as her hold on your throat began to slowly tighten "Too bad for you, though. It'll be the last stroke of genius you'll ever have."

How could you not fucking see this coming? It was a wedding after all.

She was here, of all the times you could have run into her, this was the time. Fuck, Scootaloo was right, you really could have used a charge on your horn. Even worse, it seems Scrappy had her pegged on the two possibilities she was gonna pull on you, and unfortunately for you, it was the bad possibility. Why though? What was she up to? “C-chrysalis, n-ngh, what are you doi-doing?” You choked out as she continued to hold you by the neck with her magic.

“Oh, what? You can’t tell? I, as your good friend, wanted to come to your wedding… Oh wait, scratch that…” She tightens her grip just a tad as her expression becomes ever so angry “I meant your execution.”

Ok, she wanted you dead, that was clear. But why? Dammit, you had been willing to try to reconnect with her when you had a chance, but things kept getting in the way. Or, hell, you didn’t even know if she was even willing to reconcile or where she even was. Are you making excuses for yourself? Now isn’t a good time it seems as she looked pretty damn pissed. Even then, you’d think after all that bonding you both had, that she wouldn’t resort to this. “C-chrysalis… W-we’re friends, w-why? W-what happened to you?” Another thing you noticed is that she looked… weaker than before. Weaker, but a lot more sinister than you remember. If this was the case, you had to find a way to neutralize the situation before she either ended you or someone came bursting in.

“What happened to me? Oh, you want to know what happened to me now that you’re about to be destroyed, how quaint. Now you care, well then, let me illuminate things for you before you perish since you’re just DYING to know.” Chrysalis was a little off kilter when she spoke. She even turned around as she kept you in her grip, probably to sound ominous and mysterious like most villains do. “To be honest, I didn’t want to exact my revenge on you at all, not at first anyway. It was the princesses who brought ruin to my hive, and caused my beautiful children to become putrid traitors… Horrible, blind, disgusting traitors. Something that would have never happened if not for those insufferable princesses.” She was definitely disgusted by those thoughts, her voice becoming angry as she spoke closer to things that hurt her. “... So of course, I had plotted to either ruin them, or best case scenario, destroy them. But then I realized something…” She then looked back at you with a hateful but calm gaze “It was you who caused this. You were the one who let the princesses get close, you were the one who let yourself be so easily manipulated by them, you were the one, despite having so much power hanging on your neck, allowed them and that traitor Thorax to ruin everything I ever worked for. Essentially, I came to realize that had it not been for you, then this would have never happened at all.” She then suddenly stops speaking, gives you a cruel smirk, and just lingers for a moment before giving your neck another squeeze “It made me wonder if we were really friends, or if you were just that good of a stooge for the princesses. All those films, saving another universe, our time as siblings, all a ruse to ruin my life. Well, allow me to return the favor.” Her eyes glowed as they twitched, her horn growing ever brighter “Any last words, Anon?”

Oh… oh god, it was worse than you thought. It really was your fault, wasn’t it? Was it really? It wasn’t like she also wasn’t manipulating you. In fact, you both were playing a game of manipulation between all of this, trying to get the other to their side. Plus, you had so many other friends, what were you supposed to do to not end up betraying them? Hell, you had family too that you care about. Really, had you joined Chrysalis, Celestia might actually become Nightmare Galaxia or some other crazy evil bitch, like something called Daybreaker or something. You felt the guilt coursing through you just from looking at her defeated form. But 'sorry' simply wouldn’t be enough, and you wanted to somehow make things right for her. But first, you had to keep yourself from choking to death. What are you supposed to do though? How can you get out of this? Your horn was useless at this point and… Wait, the horn was useless, wasn’t it? If you can just stall her for a moment more, you could figure something out, something to make it all work. “Chrysalis… ngh, D-do you rea-really want to d-do this? I’m pa-pathetic, I-I know… But w-we can still figure something out.”

“I already have things figured out, Anon. I’m going to end you, it’s as simple as that. Or, rather, it’s simple for me. See, not only am I going to make sure your end leaves you a lifeless husk, I’m going to leave evidence that it maaaaayyyy have been caused by one of those blithering buffoons that idiot of a chaos spirit created. Imagine it, Anon. Ponies you care about finding you, lifeless, it’ll be oh so sweet. Ponies, as I’m sure you know, aren’t very used to a concept such as a colt being dead. Human cruelty really is a wonderful thing, isn’t it? I’ll be creating more sadness and chaos than that twit ever could. And as a bonus, everypony will blame him for it. The perfect revenge…” Chrysalis said in a low crazed chuckle. Christ, she’d become edgy as fuck too. Luckily, she monologued enough for you to figure something out. You just had to hope it’d work. She was already losing some of her grip as she found herself absorbed in her own cracked ego.

The plan was simple. Give her the horn, hope it distracts her, grab the Starlight Hook, and… Man, it really did make you feel bad for what you planned to do. But unless you took charge of the situation, she was going to kill you. You were scared, shaking, one misstep and you’d be dead. But you were willing to make a move, to save your friend that you let down. Just don’t become obsessed again, Anon. You can try, but don’t fall into that web, there’s no escaping it if you delude yourself like you did before. Chrysalis is a villain, there are no buts about it, if you somehow can fix it here, maybe you could at least let her know she still had a friend in you. Yes, that’s right, you were at least willing to let her go if she was willing to make some compromise… Though that was going to be tough if you, in fact, had to zap her like a bug… Which she was… Geez, Anon, just go for it before she kills you. “I see… C-Chrysalis, please, let me prove to you that you still have a friend in me. I’m not that same guy you knew from before, I can handle things now, I know how not to be pushed around or manipulated. And… Well, that means for you too. We have to come to an understanding, we have to compromise. I know you don’t want to end me, I know, deep down, you see me as a friend. Do you really want to be alone forever due to this? We’re friends, we understand each other, and I myself always love your company. There’s nothing for you if you do this, so just stop, alright?”

“Save your breath, Anon, you’ll need it for the last few gasps of life you’ll ever have. Besides, how do you even plan to make up for the fact my children betrayed me? I think one life isn’t a good enough equivalent to a million or so, but I’ll make due.” She says to you with an angry eye twitch.

“My horn, I’ll give it to you. Because… Because I know the Chrysalis I care about is still there, and you’d choose me over it, just like you did when you nuked your old captain. Just let me get it off for you, please…” You pleaded with her, using your feelings for her to mask your lie. You knew if you tried to trade your life for the horn out of fear, she’d see through it by feeling out the fact you still cared about her. But just because she could sense your feelings, didn’t mean she could see what you thought, and you just had to hope she couldn’t see through your feelings for her.

Chrysalis narrowed her eyes at you, seeming skeptical at first. Then suddenly, she softened up, and slowly started to let you down as she brought a hoof to her heart. “A-Anon, what? Even after what I said? After what I was planning to do to you? You’d really do that? Y-you must be lying, y-you don’t care about me… Nopony does.” She sounded sincere, but you knew better. She was off her game for sure, she immediately started playing her cards too early to be believable. Maybe she didn’t realize you were willing to give up the horn that easily, and given her mental state, just started to try to pull at your heartstrings to make sure you’d give it to her without issue. Chrysalis, the one you remember, would have just been snarky, knowing you’d never give in that easily. And if you did actually give it to her, you felt in your heart she’d have returned it with some weak excuse as to why.

“I mean it, I’ll give it to you… I know you’ll do the right thing, and give it back to me.” You said, with no retort of her own as she began to slowly lower you. You sigh, and look to her with a forced smile, terrified over your next movements. You hold back a gulp, and slowly slide off your necklace, holding it towards her. “Here, just like I promised.”

“Anon… I…” She slowly takes the bait, and as she looks at you with a warm smile, just as you guessed, it slowly turned into a twisted grin as she slapped the horn on her head, she then began to mock you “Cannot believe you’d ever actually think I’d fall for that! I really can’t believe it! I finally have ultimate power! Enough power to quickly create a new throne before that moron has a chance to disable his own ma-” Chrysalis found her thoughts cut short when she notices dark flames billowing from the side of her eyes. “What?! You used both charges already?! BOTH?! How did you even manage that?! Your days are always full of ruin and dread! By Tartarus, if I didn’t kill you, something else surely would have and…” Chrysalis stopped herself, as if she was suddenly having a nostalgic flashback. She then steadied her mind and turned to look at you “And it doesn’t matter, now does it? Since I’ll make sure your end is slow and agon- What are you doing?” When she did look at you, she noticed you had on your Starlight Hook, and it was aimed directly at her.

“Chrysalis, don’t make me do it. Just calm down, alright? I’m serious, we can work this out, but you have to meet me in the damn middle here. Alright? Let’s talk.” You had it aimed right at her, you wouldn’t miss.

Chrysalis just laughed a light hearted giggle “Oh, really? No, I think not. You’re in no position to demand anything out of me. If you did, you’d have a spine, and we wouldn’t be here now. But, like the insect you are, you are doing everything you can to live. Really, I thought those I tricked were persistent in winning over my heart, but you’re just something else, aren’t you? Go ahead, shoot your silly little fishing line, and then I’ll snap your neck right after.” She said with a chilling coldness.

You nearly hesitate, but you couldn’t let her have her way. What a reunion… You only wanted to chat with her as friends, but it’d seem you’d have to really take her down first. You aim, and fire the hook, causing it to wrap around Chrysalis’s torso. She just looks at the line boredly, then looks to you with half slitted eyes “Wow, you really were serious.” she said in a sarcastic tone “Oh no, I’m restrained, whatever will I do? Oh wait, I’ll just use my magic to ASFDSFDSFSDFSD” And with that, you flicked the switch, sending a stunning wave of shocking electricity through her. After a few moments, you flick the switch again to shut off the stream of electricity. Chrysalis falls, near unconscious, groaning and twitching as drool drips from her mouth. "G-guh, Mandible... H-help mommy up..."

“Christ… That actually fucking worked. I actually outwitted her…” You then look to her fallen form, and begin to frown. God, she’s fallen so hard… “Chrysalis… What am I going to do? I can’t begin to feel how much hurt and rage is in your heart right now. Losing your children like that, I guess I can see why you wanted to kill me. But fuck…” She wasn’t in the right either. She manipulated them too, she made them suffer for her own selfish reasons. But even then, they were her children, and it must really hurt for all of them to betray you just like that. Really, no one was in the right. And truthfully? Her children being freed from her grasp was the best thing to happen to them, even if they did turn out to be gigantic pussies. They don’t starve, they are happier, still dumb, but happy. “Chrysalis, you just need to- Wha?” Suddenly, there’s a heavy knocking on the door.

“Anon! Anon! What was that? Are you alright!?” You hear Starlight at the other side of the door, knocking on it heavily “I swear, I heard something, Number One. It almost sounded like… Wait, the door is locked? Anon! Answer the door, please!” You hear her knocking become more frantic.

SHIT! You were found out! If she sees Chrysalis here, who knows what will happen!? What if everyone finds out?! DAMMIT! “H-hold on, Starlight! I was just… Practicing something!” Shit shit shit! What do you do?!

“Anon, I swear I heard somepony’s voice in there, and something heavy dropping. Just let me in, alright? I want to make sure you’re ok!” She sounded desperate and worried. Dammit, you didn’t want her to be, but now wasn’t a good time. What to do, what to do?

Well, wait! The horn! Chrysalis just slapped it on without even putting the necklace around herself, you could use it to send her and yourself home, surely Starlight would try to make things seem alright in front of the Riches and stall for time as she tried to figure out what went wrong. You were going to get an earful for sure from her, but you had to do this. You quickly grab the horn from Chrysalis’s head and slip the necklace on as you pop the horn itself on your forehead. You then begin to look around as you realized you were missing a water source. “Shit… come on, come on… Wait, the dresser!” You rush over to it and open the drawers, finding all sorts of colognes for stallions and soaps for quick grooming. You grab them all and start breaking them upon the ground near Chrysalis so the liquid would seep under her.

“What in the…!? Anon, that’s it! I’m teleporting in!” Starlight cried out.

FUUUCK! NO TIME! You aim your horn at the strong smelling liquids and zap open a portal, causing Chrysalis to fall inside as you dive through right as a flash of light covers the room.

You both pass through into your room, landing on your bed. Chrysalis bounces off onto the ground upon impact with it as you fall flat on your belly onto the soft and warm surface. You quickly stand up, your nerves still on end, and look down at the fallen bug queen. “Shit.. SHIT!” Goddammit, Starlight knew something was up… And not only Starlight, but Number One did too, which meant Discord would eventually know as well. You could already tell things were not going to be as relaxing after the wedding as you had hoped. But that wasn’t important right now, right now you had to figure out what you were going to do.

She wanted you dead, she wanted you fucking dead, with chaos to follow soon after. Her mind was fractured, and her need for revenge was strong. How were you going to handle all that without her overpowering you? For now, you could give her another shock if she tried anything again, but you didn’t know if that’d truly keep her down.

It was you versus her, it was going to be a battle of rage, guilt, manipulation, and broken hearts. You started to realize that maybe, just maybe, taking a forward approach might be the solution here. To just step forth, and try to cut through her bullshit. What did you have to lose? You still held the advantage, and she wasn’t going to listen to you if you puss out. That’s always how it was, wasn’t it? The moment she sensed weakness, she’d take advantage of it. Just looking at her downed form, and being in your room, it made you yearn for the times where you both actually got along. You look into your saddlebag and pull out the locket she had given you when she masqueraded as your sister. Opening it up, you could see within it a photo of you and her in her real form. It made you feel sorrow that it couldn’t be like this all the time. And at this moment, you had to do your best for her. If you failed here, you wouldn’t get another chance, and you couldn’t betray your other friends just for her either. Essentially, it was all or nothing. “Chrysalis… Wake up, please. We need to talk.” You say in a soft yet strong manner, looking over her with a stern expression from your bed.

“Mnnn, nnmmmgh… W-what happened?” Chrysalis slowly opened her eyes, dazed, and slowly began to stand as she took a look around, her vision blurred. “Why does everything seem so familiar?”

“Because we’re in my room. We need to talk Chrysalis, friend to friend.” Stay strong, Anon, don’t falter.

“Friend? Your room? Ngh!” Chrysalis took a better look around, actually surprised to find herself in Discord’s home. “How did you?! When did you?! NO! I refuse to be imprisoned in this place again!” She then looked at you with an intense fury, and even growled towards you “Why you… I’ll destroy you!” She yelled as she prepped herself for an attack, not even caring to use her magic this time.

“Stop! Ok! Fuck!” You bring your hoof towards the stun switch, and look to her with an intense stare of your own. “You wanna know how this happened?! My hook can shock you, that’s how! It knocked you out! Look, If you even glow the wrong way, I’ll fucking send you to the ground! As for why we’re here?! It’s not to imprison you!” You take a breath, and try to calm yourself “It’s because you nearly got found out. I brought you here to save you, to prevent you from getting caught. I didn’t want to lose you again now that you finally came back, even if it was just to kill me. I wanna talk, Chrysalis, don’t make me hurt you again.” You had the locket prepped in your hoof, ready to show it to her in a way to calm her down and show her you care. A classic trope indeed, you just needed the right opportunity.

Chrysalis looked like she was still about to pounce, but she didn’t actually make a move. It seemed like she was analyzing the situation as her mind became more clear. She looked around again, then at the line, then at you. “I got outwitted by the stooge. Chrysalis, how far have you really fallen?” She sighed, and looked at you with an annoyed expression “Well, you finally have my attention, don’t you? Especially now that your emotions are at their peak. So you actually do care, so what? You want to talk? What do you want to talk about? What more can you do to sink my life even lower?”

“I don’t want to sink your life even lower, I never wanted to do that. Chrysalis, the truth is, I understand that I fucked up, but it wasn’t like you were any better. We manipulated each other, and both of us wanted us to fall into each other’s endgame, even lying to each other. Hell, you weren’t even telling your children the truth, you were manipulating them too. They got caught in the crossover. But look what happened, They transformed into beings that can actually sustain themselves and-” But those last words were enough for her to interrupt you with her rage.

“HOW DARE YOU! WHO CARES ABOUT THE TRUTH! THEY WERE MY CHILDREN! WE DID WHAT WE HAD TO SURVIVE, SPREAD, AND DO-” But fuck that shit! You weren’t gonna have any of her crap either.

“AND WHAT?! WHAT?! HUH?! TAKE OVER EVERYTHING, RIGHT?! GUESS WHAT, CHRYSALIS!? GUESS FUCKING WHAT?! YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN ARE BETTER OFF NOW THAN THEY EVER WERE WITH YOU! THEY’RE HAPPY! THEY'RE WELL FED! FUCK, THEY EVEN HAVE FRIENDS NOW! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY THEY LEFT YOU? IT WAS BECAUSE THEY REALIZED YOU WERE A FUCKING BITCH! GODDAMMIT!” Your eyes started to water as you yelled at her, you were pouring all your emotions out at this point. You were just sick of it, sick of her excuses and bullshit. “IT’S NOT LIKE YOU HAD TO LOSE THEM EITHER! YOU COULD HAVE BECOME LIKE THEM, AND LIVE A LIFE WHERE YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO STARVE OR TAKE OVER SHIT! I CAN TELL, CHRYSALIS, I CAN TELL YOU ARE AS HUNGRY AS YOU WERE WHEN WE ENDED UP IN THAT OTHER EQUESTRIA, IT’S RUINING YOU! FUCK! YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT MADE US FRIENDS?! IT WASN’T THE MANIPULATION, IT WASN’T THE GAME, IT WASN’T THE PLOTTING, AND IT WASN’T THE PONIES…” You were breathing hard as tears heavily ran down your cheeks. Your nerves were shot, and you were starting to lose hope “It was all the fun times we had together, the movies we saw, the adventures, hell, we even bonded as actual siblings. Chrysalis, I meant what I said about the horn, I know you didn’t take it when you beat the X-captain because you cared, you really did care. I know we can still be friends. But fuck, you gotta calm down, alright? Life isn’t about being evil or taking over shit, friendship is an actual thing, and I know when it comes to us, that you know that it’s true. So please, let’s just talk, ok?”

Chrysalis started to slowly walk to the side towards your window, very slowly, in a way you’d not notice what she was planning to do due to your current state. “Just talk, hm? Do you want to talk about our feelings? Is that it? Reconcile? Be friends again? Is that it, Anon? Did you miss me?” She just kept slowly moving til she reached your window, eyeing you, trying to sound soft and comforting while still condescending.

“Kinda, yes. I just want to-wait, what are you doing?” You then finally notice when she reaches her hoof behind the window blinds.

“What else? Getting my REVENGE!” Chrysalis pushes the window upwards as quickly as she can before you even had a chance to flick the switch. You yourself fall backwards in fright over the fact that the window to your room was opened with no way to defend yourself from the horror waiting outside. “MWHAHAHAHA! HAha...ha?” Chrysalis’s evil laughter slowly came to a halt when she realized that the X-Captain wasn’t busting in to murder the first thing he saw. Hell, when she looked at the window, he wasn’t even there. Her eyes narrowed as she let out a heavy groan “I can’t believe it, even when the idiot is supposed to be predictable he still somehow disappoints me.”

Hell, even you were perplexed by it. You were actually more blown away from the X-Captain’s disappearance than the fact Chrysalis just opened the damn window. “Yeah, sheesh, he never fucking leaves that spot. Where the fuck did he- Wait…” You then looked to Chrysalis with anger “YOU JUST TRIED TO KILL ME AGAIN! WHAT THE FUCK, CHRYSALIS! C’MON!”

“Oh hush…” Chrysalis says as she rolls her eyes at you “You know how important revenge is to me. You did ruin my life, you know? Ugh…” Chrysalis looks to the line that was wrapped around her torso, then back at you “You going to zap me again? For trying to kill you?”

You could feel your hoof twitching, you really should after that stunt. Was she still plotting? Did she really want you dead that badly? You could feel your hoof drawing closer to the switch, but you didn’t have the will to flick it now that she seemed calm. “Are you done with your murder bullshit? Christ, Chrysalis, I’m doing my best to try to talk to you, but I’m starting to think the ponies were right, that you deserve to rot in fucking Tartarus.”

“Oh, I can tell, I can feel your rage burning inside you… It’s nowhere near as tasty as your love for me though. Ahh, but fine, you want to talk? We’ll actually talk this time, but not here. Follow me.” Chrysalis says as she calmly walks over to your floor door, and starts walking downward, nearly dragging you with her as the line starts to tug at your leg. It seems with the X-Captain gone, and her plans wrecked, she was finally willing to talk. You quickly rush to the window to pull it down before the line actually started to pull you down with Chrysalis. With the window shut, you quickly trot after her, going down your gravity stairs, while trying to figure out what the fuck was going on.

“Could you at least tell me what you want? Where are we going?” You ask, as Chrysalis opens the trap door to the basement caves.

“You’ll see. Besides, if you’re worried, you can just flick that switch, and end everything.” She was suddenly so calm, so focused as she began to walk down the stairs.

You thought about it, you really did. But as you inched towards the switch, you realized the locket was still wrapped around your hoof. You decide to look at it again, then hold it up while calling to Chrysalis. “Chrysalis… You know, I kind of kept this, you remember what it is, right?”

Chrysalis looks back for a moment, but doesn’t really react as she continues her trek down “You kept that, hm? Was that supposed to make me care?”

Ngh… Yes… “I mean, I just thought you’d feel better knowing I kept it. As a symbol of our friendship.”

“It’s a useless trinket, Anon, it means nothing to me…” Chrysalis says as she reaches the bottom, and looks around the cave. After a few moments, she finally spots what she was looking for. She could see her car, in perfect condition, just resting on a stone pedestal. You could swear for a moment, that she lit up in a girlish giddiness, letting out a tiny squeal before clearing her throat. She then began to slowly walk towards it as she spoke as calmly as she could. “That however, I find rather amazing. You kept my car around? It looks like it hasn’t been touched in ages.”

“Yeah, I did. I knew you really loved the car, so I managed to convince Discord to keep it around, and I made sure nopony used it. Ugh, Chrysalis, c’mon, don’t tell me you’re about to care about me because of the damn car.” Like, really?

“Ok, I won’t” She says with a small subtle giggle as she opens the driver door and hops inside. “Get in, then we’ll talk.” She says as she tosses over the line towards the passenger side so it doesn’t get caught on the driver door.

You sigh, and head over to the other side, and enter the car. You just plop your butt on the seat, and watch Chrysalis just rub her hoof along the the wheel and door of the car. “So… What now?”

“We talk, you can say we’re in my happy place right now. Enough for me to forget the crimes committed against me. Mmmm, so, how have you been, Anon? I heard you defeated the Storm King.” Chrysalis says as she fondles her gear shift.

“Yeah, sorta, it’s a long story. But yeah, that happened. I kind of stuck the guy’s head to X-Captain’s ass too. They kind of don’t like each other, they argue a lot and stuff.” You say, eyeing Chrysalis carefully, trying to make sure you don’t let yourself get distracted.

“Oooohh, and they say I’m cruel.” Chrysalis says with a chuckle “I don’t even think I’d have done that. Very nice.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty funny. Um, how about you? What have you been up to?” You ask, staying casual, but still cautious.

Chrysalis calmly begins adjusting her rear view mirror. You found it odd, she seemed content, and yet she hasn’t started the car yet. Hmmm… “Oh, fighting to survive, hiding in the shadows, cursing my life and all the lives of everypony I hate. The usual.” She then looks to you, still looking relaxed. “So, if you still care about me, why still be friends with everypony else?”

“You know why, because they are good friends, for different reasons. Speaking of, I kind of told Diamond about us. You remember her, right?” You ask, wondering and hoping, that you could steer this convo to your favor. Now that you had the opportunity to talk to her calmly, you might be able to get her to see that you weren’t the only one capable of caring about her.

“Of course I do, she can manipulate you almost as well as I can. I liked her spirit, but that’s probably only because of how much she controls you.” Chrysalis actually had a cute little smirk as she said this, but then she let out a tired sigh as she leaned back on her seat “So, how much does she hate me?”

“She actually doesn’t. She actually thinks you’re pretty rad.” You say, looking to her with a gentle smile of your own. “She thought you were actually like a big sister, she even wanted to invite you to the wedding.”

“... I’d say you’re lying, but I can taste that you aren’t. Ugh, how disgusting that I have to admit that I find that both misguided and adorable at the same time. So, she likes who I am, how interesting.” Chrysalis said as she began to slowly move the steering wheel left and right.

“She does, but not as somepony who is evil. Either way, it does kind of prove my point. You can make friends with other ponies, Chrysalis, and I… Mmmm…” You really wanted to drill the point home, but perhaps it wasn’t a good time to play the ‘game’. “I’m sure you can figure it out. Anyway, I really have missed you, y’know? I missed watching movies, and I missed the times we can be real with each other, I missed our chats. But things are more complicated now too. I’d like to go back to it all, but my other friends are just as important… I don’t know what to do, Chrysalis. I really wish… Ugh, I’m just gonna say it, I wish you’d just be good. I can’t just obsess over you anymore, and I can’t be evil like you. You should know that…”

“If I conquered Equestria, that wouldn’t be an issue. But things really do have to be oh so complicated. I agree though, I do miss all the fun times we had together. I even realized killing you would have probably made my life lonely. Not a word I like to use to describe myself, but it’s clear my children hate me, so it’s not like I could just go and ask them to follow me again.” Chrysalis said with a sigh “And I’m aware the runt does miss me. But just like you, I don’t think he’d be willing to betray his friends. Maybe switching sides wouldn’t be so bad… But then I remember how pathetic ponies are, and it just sickens me to my core.”

“Is it really that bad to you, Chrysalis? I’d think the whole transformation thing would be an upgrade to what you are now. The other changelings don’t need to eat constantly anymore, they practically make their own food through their love and care for each other. I mean, could you at least tell me why that doesn’t sound good to you?” You were really curious as to why she didn’t like the idea.

“Because it makes you weak. And don’t tell me it doesn’t, you’ve seen how pathetic they have become. I don’t want to become like that, it’s that simple. Those who are weak deserve to be ruled by the strong, those who are food deserve to be used by powerful beings such as myself. It’s how We-I have always survived. Quite frankly, I’m not interested in doing it any other way. I’ve seen what they have become, they lost themselves. Even the runt has lost his fangs. And given the X-Captain, chaotic mutation is off the table as well. The extra power isn’t worth it. Anyway, I do believe that fool Twilight believes in the virtue of being true to yourself. Well, this girl enjoys who she is. I’ve just hit a minor setback, one I’ll figure out the solution to very soon.” Her voice suddenly hit a tone of sinister as her speech went on, it started to unsettle you.

“What do you mean by ‘solution’? Chrysalis, come on, it’s not worth it. What good is being evil when you’re all alone?” Ok, you sounded like you were trying to convince her to switch sides. But so what? You wanted to fucking save her, now was your chance! “You know I’m your friend, and now you know ponies are willing to be your friend. Hell, Chrysalis, having friends means you’d also have food. It’s win-win. I’m not saying you have to transform like the other changelings, I don’t expect you to change, but being evil for the sake of being evil is stupid! Please, come on… I want you back. As a friend, as a sibling, as somepony I can share human culture stuff with. Don’t throw it all away for something stupid. What do you have to gain?”

“Domination, it’s what I’ve lived for, for almost as long Equestria has been around. Us girls are stubborn, Anon, I’m sure you’ve learned that by now. We want what we want, and while I admit your offer to switch sides has actually tempted me, made me think…” And quickly, like a whip, Chrysalis turned to her side and held you by the neck with her foreleg, some of it wrapped in your hook line. “That I really don’t want to lose who I am, and I’m really not interested in your attempts to change that.”

“N-ngh! C-chry-?!” You could barely breathe. FUCK! YOU LET YOUR GUARD DOWN! HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?! NO!

Chrysalis didn’t say a word as she slid her hoof along your leg and to your Starlight Hook. She moved her hoof to the electrical switch, and flicked it. You began to scream in pain as the shock from the line on her leg coursed through your neck. Chrysalis herself was now well fed, and while grunting from the pain, was taking the shock around her torso much better than you were from the line at your neck. But she also didn’t keep it on long either, just enough to properly stun you before shutting it off. She then shook off the line around her torso as she began to stand on her seat. She then flitted her wings, and hovered over you as you looked at her in a heavy daze. She just eyed you for a moment, then smirked “Thought I was going to kill you, didn’t you? No, we’re alright now, I just got sick of talking about ponies and their ways of friendship, that’s all. I meant what I said, I have no interest in switching sides, but I also realized that I really do enjoy your company… I’ve missed it so much. Besides, you have a wedding, remember? We can't let you waste any more time. Ugh, where would you be without me? Still obsessing over me instead of wooing your love, that’s where. Don’t worry, I’ll find a way to make things work and bring Equestria down. As for us, well… Have a movie ready next time, ok? Oh, and thanks, I guess… I can finally get over the fact my children are terrible. You were right, knowing I have at least one friend does wonders for a heart… That and getting strong enough to make sure that shock didn’t hurt me too much, thanks for that. Well, Anon, it’s been fun, but I have some plotting to do. Keep my car safe, stay alive, and have a good wedding, you have my blessing. Mwha~” She says with a giggle, blowing you a kiss before making her escape up the basement stairs. But before she did, she looked back one last time, and whispered “I don't think I'll ever find somepony better, so don't die soldier.”

You? You had to take another minute laying there twitching, Chrysalis’s turnover was quite shocking… Literally. "N-ngh. I-I think my balls popped from that..."

You just laid there in your seat, shaking. You were stunned and found it hard to move as your mane stood on end. But it wasn’t really the shock itself that kept you down, it was what just happened that caused you to lay there, thinking. You hadn’t seen Chrysalis in a long time, and she only came back to kill you. But once she calmed down, it was almost like old times again, just hanging out together. You only wanted her to be good so you both could hang out whenever you both wanted, but she just wouldn’t do it. This time though, her excuses were somewhat different. It wasn’t just her wanting to be evil that prevented her from changing sides, no, it was due to the fact that she was afraid of change. She was afraid of losing herself, becoming weak like the other changelings. It really seemed she believed she wouldn’t be herself if she gave in, and so chose not to. Secondly, she was a little more subdued than she usually was, and seemingly more lonely. Perhaps it was the loss of her children, but the fact that she actually cared what Diamond thought of her was very out of place for her. Either it meant that she actually cared about her friendship, or deep down, she didn’t want everyone actually hating her despite the fact she didn’t give a shit about it before.

It made you think of Gertrude, from that other Equestria. Her children were actually killed by a squad of exterminators, and she was taken as a slave. She took in actual foals as her children after that, caring for them as if she was their mother. Maybe that’s what Gertrude meant about Chrysalis becoming good like her, it really did require the loss of her brood. The only difference is that due to the way it happened, Chrysalis wasn’t willing to throw in the towel just yet. No, she had to realize her own feelings about it first before anything could truly happen. Which means…

“HAHA!” You yell as you jump up on your seat. “I finally have the solution! I CAN FIX CHRYSALIS! ALL I HAVE TO DO IS… Is… Ogh.” No, you didn’t have the solution, just the foundation. You still had roadblocks to manage. How would you convince Chrysalis? How would you make the ponies see she could be good, it's not like you could do that with a song or something. And then there was the fact the princesses had to be in the know so they wouldn’t ruin your shit. It also goes without saying that Starlight and the others have to know as well… Maybe even Fluttershy should know. Can you do all that?

No, you couldn’t puss out this time. You had plenty of time to figure it all out. Chrysalis would make her appearance again sooner or later, and you’ll show her that she can be accepted if she compromises just a little. She didn’t have to be a good guy, she just had to be close to an anti-hero in terms of her attitude. And the princesses? As soon as you get the chance, you were going to step up to each one of them and give them the fucking business. You had a foundation now, and they fucking owe you for your part in defeating the Storm King. Ok sure, Twilight kind of helped, and you wouldn’t have gotten far without Tempest, but the other princesses got fucking stoned before they even knew what hit them. You had the leverage and- Oh shit…

“THE WEDDING! FUCK!” You were wasting time planning when you had a wedding to get back to. What if it already started?! What if you ruined your relationship with the Riches?! And oh god, what is Starlight thinking right now? No time to think! You rub your forelegs through your mane to straighten it out, then start rushing towards the portal door as fast as possible. When you get into your room however, you stop to take notice of a few things. You look over to the window first, with the blinds open to expose what is beyond the other side. The X-Captain still wasn’t there, he was just gone. Where the fuck did he go? Ugh, he’s probably doing something stupid, and it was something you couldn’t deal with right now. The other thing to notice was the dial next to the portal door, it was set to the Everfree Forest. Seems Chrysalis made a getaway into the forest and into the unknown, she’d definitely be back once she comes up with another plan, and you’d be ready for her when she does… Hopefully.

You set the dial back to Ponyville, and look back at the mirror on your dresser for a moment to fix up your tuxedo. It was disorganized, and given the lack of time you had, you were nearly fumbling trying to get it back to an acceptable level. “C’mon… C’mon, ugh, this isn’t uhmmm… Ngh, ok… Erm, good enough?” You did your best to get the black bowtie straight, but it was slightly crooked, not to mention the suit itself had gotten somewhat dirty. Dammit, it’ll still have to do. You rush through the door, through whatever crowd was outside, and you don’t even stop to speak to Number Four… Which was a dumb move since the door was closed, causing you to crash head first into it.

“Anon? Huh, I don’t know why you’re out here, but I certainly hope you aren’t going through enough of a bout of madness to not notice a door. Is this wedding too stressful for you?” Four asked as he stood you up and dusted you off, his swipes of his paw actually fixing your suit and fur, and hell, even your mane.

“Wha? Huh? Uhmm…” You were straightening out your thoughts after that impact. You weren’t dazed, you were just wondering how the fuck your stride got stopped. “Madness? OH… No nah, I just had to go home for something. Y’know, important stuff… I’m not late for anything, r-right?”

Four just slowly begins to open the door for you, having a small chuckle to himself. “No, our originator and dear Fluttershy haven’t arrived quite yet, but it won’t be long… Also, I already know about Chrysalis. Starlight was able to figure that out rather quickly with the help of Number One.”

FUCK! This was gonna be uber awkward. But then, why is Four so calm? “You’re not upset?”

“I don’t have long to exist, and my memories will soon be Discord’s. All I can say is be careful. And considering you obviously did your best to hide Chrysalis, I can already tell you’re going to make another attempt to reform her. Is that wise?” He asks you, sounding as calm and cool as a wise old man.

That question and his overall reaction made you feel a tad irked, like there was going to be an incoming shitstorm coming your way soon. You took a deep breath, and did your best to answer his question. “I actually have a foundation to stand on now, I know what’s hurting her. I even have a general idea on how to fix it, I just need to get past a few hurdles first.”

“Hmm” Four said with a nod as he stepped aside. “I wish you good luck then, that’s all I can really say about that. But for now, I would suggest making yourself known. Commander Starlight was having quite a time explaining what happened to you.”

Oh shit, right. She probably had to explain why you suddenly just disappeared. “R-right, um… Before I go, how do you think Discord will react to this?”

“Skeptical, worried, and yet willing if only for wanting some of the credit for reforming a villain such as Chrysalis. Of course, you’d only have that last part if what you have to tell him is good enough. Otherwise, he might be surprisingly protective of you. Is that a good enough answer?” He asks.

“Yeah, thanks, I think that might help me figure out how to proceed then. Erm, anyway...umm” You look down at your chest, noticing how much nicer your tux looked. “Thanks for the cleanup.”

“No trouble, wouldn’t want to disappoint the little filly, now would we? Again, good luck to you, Anon. Don’t dawdle now.” He says, with a shooing motion. Of course, he wasn’t doing it to push you away, he just didn’t want you to waste any more time than you already have.

“Right, thanks! Um, here I go!” Yeah really, geez, how were things going to go now? And where the fuck was Discord and Fluttershy? He said they were coming, but when? You step inside to see what chaos awaited you, but it seemed there was none to be had. Mayor Mare was at the podium, Scootaloo was up front on the left side, holding the box with the locket, everyone was seated, and everything seemed ready to go. It was awkward though, you could see that the rest of the Discord clones, a total of four, were seated side by side with Starlight, all of them looking at you, hell everyone was just looking at you. “Um… Hi? S-sorry everypony, sorry, was just uhhh, doing something. Um, I guess I should come to the podium, right?” You were nervous for sure. You could see Mrs. Rich sitting with the paparazzi, not looking like she was too angry or anything of that nature. But Starlight? Oh man, you could tell she was waiting for it all to be over just to find out what the fuck you were thinking.

“Of course, Anon, please come up. Don’t worry, we won’t start unti-OH MY!” Mayor Mare was greeting you with her usual cozy smile, only to be surprised when the door behind you suddenly bursts open, smacking into you so hard you go flying into the air and fall right in the spot you needed to be, landing right on your hooves.

“G-gyah! What happened, am I dead?! AM I DEAD?!” You looked at yourself, then around to see you were still in town hall, and without harm. “Oh, I landed right where I needed to be... For once… The heck was that?!” You and everyone in the room look down into the aisle to see the originator of all things chaos himself, Discord. He was dressed in a white and red football uniform with an infinity symbol as his number.

“Touchdown! Chaotic Discords beat out Everypony else in a blowout game! Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Look at me go!” Discord was really putting up an act here, hell, it took you a moment, but you realized he was holding onto Fluttershy like a football as he began to dance, spotlights coming upon him as he did his victory jig.

Discord just danced there, not noticing that everyone was just staring, Mrs. Rich already starting to fume until she finally let out a “WILL YOU STOP WITH THAT MINDLESS DANCING! THIS IS A WEDDING, NOT A SPORTS GAME, YOU DOLT! SHOW SOME CLASS!”

Discord stops immediately, slumps, then just looks to everyone with an annoyed expression of his own. “Well, excuse me, I’m sorry for bringing home the Chaos Cup trophy to our wonderful little town.” Discord said as he held a worried and dizzied Fluttershy in one arm, his trophy in the other. His trophy, of course, just being a statuette of himself holding a long looking platinum trophy.

Mrs. Rich just slowly stood up from her seat, and started to smile an eerie smile as she stepped up to Discord. “Oh, and it’s a very lovely trophy indeed. Completely worth your… Unique entrance. May I see it?”

Discord gently puts Fluttershy down and gives her a pat as she begins to regain her senses. He then looks to Mrs. Rich with a chuckle and hands her the trophy. “But of course, and here I thought you didn’t appreciate my hard work. But I suppose my grand prize changed your mind quickly.” He then noticed the paparazzi just staring and preparing their cameras. He straightened his helmet as Mrs. Rich took the trophy. “And look at that, just in time for a photo op!”

“Yes, just in… TIME!” Mrs. Rich slams the cup part of the trophy right onto Discord’s snout, causing it to get stuck. Oh yeah, she was pissed. “NOW SIT DOWN BEFORE I RUIN YOU FINANCIALLY! AND TRUST ME, I WILL FIND A WAY TO DO THAT!”

Discord did not like that at all, he could see the newsponies snapping pictures of his humiliating predicament. But before he could even raise a talon, Fluttershy starts to shake his side with her hoof, catching his attention as she looks up at him with her usual soft expression of worry and care. “Discord, please don’t. Remember, we’re here to support Anon, not cause a scene.”. Discord however, pointed to his snout, then to the reporters, which only caused Fluttershy to become a tad sterner. “Well, you shouldn’t have upset Mrs. Rich like that. But um… If it’ll make you feel any better…” Fluttershy slowly hovers up to him, and very quietly whispers “I thought it was kind of funny…”

Discord immediately calmed down upon hearing that. He sighed a muffled sigh, snapped his talons, and redressed himself in a tux of his own… With the trophy still stuck to his snout. He just looked down on it, shrugged, and went to sit down at the seat reserved for him, giving you a small wave as he did so, you just returning the wave with a small chuckle.

As Mrs. Rich calmed down, with a sense of satisfaction for shutting Discord up, Fluttershy just turned her attention to you, and smiled such a sunshiny smile as she waved at you. “Anon, it’s so good to see you again. How have you bee-” But before she could finish her sentence, Mrs. Rich just grunted and rolled her hoof along, signalling that things were about to start. “O-oh, erm… Sorry.” Fluttershy gave you a sheepish smile, and just waved as she went to join Discord. “I’ll be watching from right over there. I love you, Anon, it really is good to see you again.”

You couldn’t help but smile. Goddamn, you missed her. Her unconditional love for you really made you feel like a trillion bits. There was no other pony you could think of that was capable of the motherly affection Fluttershy was capable of, and that alone could pierce any melancholy within your heart. “I love you too, Aunt Fluttershy.” You say as you wave back to her.

And with that, music started to play all around city hall…

The wedding had finally started.

Ah damn, AH DAMN! You weren’t super prepared for this, but if you faltered now, with all eyes on you, you’d cause a huge problem indeed. You could see your friends excited for what was coming, Fluttershy actually leaning her head on Discord as a sense of pride and love filled her heart. Mrs. Rich just looked on, silent, and with approval. But then there was Starlight, she just wouldn’t stop with that glare, even if she was trying to fake having joy for the event. You looked to Scootaloo, who just whispered to you “Don’t be nervous, Anon, it’ll be ok, it’s not like Chrysalis is gonna jump out or anything”. You knew she was just trying to help, but oy, she might as well had been a fortune teller considering she predicted it from before. Mayor Mare was also prepping herself, it seemed, as she silently read from a paper. You could barely hear her as she spoke to herself, but it seemed to be a script of some sort. Of course it would be, this wasn’t a real wedding after all, so it’d be obvious there’d be some changes. Ok, Anon, just stand straight, stay steady, you got this!

Then you noticed the front doors began to open with a bright light. Silver Spoon stepped in with a white, soft purple dress, very common looking, with little grey ribbons where the shoulders were. She was spreading flower petals around happily until she reached the stage, and stepped off to the right to await Diamond.

Then there she was, stepping side by side with her father. Little Diamond Tiara, stepping forward in a snow white dress that flowed nearly to the ground, her headdress having a veil that barely covered her face, with white flowers adorned on it. She looked like she was just doing her best to contain her giddiness, yet slightly looking away shyly when you looked at her. It was all so… Super adorable. Mr. Rich just stepped along silently beside her, looking like the proudest father that ever existed. When they got to the stage, he went to join his wife, in which surprisingly, she got rather affectionate by leaning against him, it was rather soothing to the heart to see her like this, you kind of wished she could be like that all the time. Diamond herself stepped up next to you, yet she had a hard time just looking at you, or up at Mayor Mare, blushing deeply as if this was truly the big moment. You wanted to tell her something now, but then it could ruin the moment. You decide to show Diamond a warming smile when she does take a peek at you. Oh man, you could feel it, your heart was actually thumping. All eyes on you, at an event such as this, and it just made her so happy and blushy that she didn’t seem to know what to do, and you were just ok with it. If she really wanted to change, and be a partner to you, then it would all be fine. It just meant that you yourself would have to take it, and her, seriously.

Mayor Mare took the two of you being side by side as her cue to speak, she cleared her throat, took one last look of the paper, and began to speak, the music dying down as she does. “Fillies and gentlecolts, we welcome you to a very special event. Today, we bear witness to a ceremony that will mark these two young foals eternal bonds for the rest of their lives. Although this is not an official matrimony, it can be expected to be one of a spiritual nature. Love is a surprising feeling, as it not only transcends time, but also the boundaries we ponies all see within our minds. A wonderful feeling that binds family and friends together, allowing us all to live together in harmony, and allows us to act when needed to protect those we hold dear in our heart. It's something, I think, these two have proven when it comes to loving one another, protecting each other even when things looked most grim. And now for the moment we all have waited for, the heart melting and... Hmmm... exceedingly glamorous moment when these two proclaim their vows to one another, and with a symbol love, strengthen that chain of love to unbreakable levels…” Mayor Mare took a breath. In some way, it looked like she found whatever she was saying a tad corny, but she also looked quite touched from the sweetness of it all, especially when she looked to the two of you. “Now then, Anon, Diamond Tiara, it is time for your vows. Erm… Ahrm, 'vow' you have to say to each other. Diamond, if you may, you first please.”

Diamond looked up at you, shyly, nearly speechless at first. She was shaking, nervous, possibly afraid of how you’d react to what she had to say. She just looked adorable to you, flustered, you just wanted to give her a hug now to show her it was alright. But you just stood there, giving her a warm smile instead as you awaited her words. She looked to her parents, in which Spoiled was being very very patient, smiling even. Filthy just sitting there, with pride, tilting his head with a gentle smile to show her things were just fine. She even looked to Silver, who was behind her. Silver just raised a hoof at her with a ‘go get em’ expression, trying to boost her friend’s courage. Diamond then looked back to you, feeling a little more brave, and finally spoke her vow. “My vow is… I just want to make Anon happy, and be there for him when he needs me. I know I was never the best at that, but I’m willing to do better, and I’ll put him before myself too. I want to be his partner now, and I’ll be his wife when we grow up. I’ll be ready for that, for sure.” Diamond just looked to you, with loving and longing eyes, truly meaning what she said.

Mayor Mare just nearly had a ‘d’awww’ moment there, nearly falling over from how adorable it all was. She cleared her throat, adjusted her glasses, then looked to you. “And Anon, your vow?”

You gulped, you remembered what Bonbon told you, but… You couldn’t just put it that simply after hearing that, your heart actually hurt both with care and with guilt. You looked to your friends… Well, Trixie sleeping again didn’t really help. You look to Starlight, who at least seemed to have softened up some, but was still clearly worried. You looked to Scootaloo, who just looked back at you with a frown, feeling as if something may have just happened. You then look to Discord… And he was actually paying attention, hell, the clones were too, all of them giving you a thumbs up. You then looked to Fluttershy… She was smiling, with tears in her eyes, actually leaning against Discord as she looked towards you like a mother witnessing the marriage of her son. Ok, Anon, it was your time to shine. If this was the relationship you were gonna stick with, then you better cement it here and now. “Diamond, I know I haven’t been the most truthful with you, or been around too much. The truth is, I always had a shred of doubt, or felt unsure about it all. But maybe it was because we were both doing this whole relationship thing wrong. So I want to be your partner. I want to know that I can share with you my secrets without it becoming some public spectacle, I want to be able to share fun times with you, and I want to be there to pick you up in even your darkest times, to be your light when things look bleak. I want our relationship to be on a foundation of trust and respect, and I want to be able to… Well, grow old with you without the torch that lights our path ever growing dim. I want to be there til the very end. That’s my vow.” Oh yeah, Anon, nailed it with that last line, real poetic. You meant it though, not only with the fact that you said it, but also the fact that you were NEVER gonna get a girl to fall this hard for you ever again. Applebloom did, yeah, but it wasn’t as deep and you kinda went with the whole “Diamond had dibs” thing. Now? You felt you could roll with it, there really was no point in letting her go now.

“O-oh, Anon! I…” Diamond just looked at you with so much love in her heart that she was about to explode and jump right into you. Well, she was, until Mayor Mare spoke up.

“W-wait! Wait! We’re not at that part yet! Ahrm, Anon still must present his token of love! You do have that, right, Anon?” Mayor Mare asked, more as a formality really, she knew you had it.

Diamond backed off adorably, just having a slight shy giggle to herself as she awaited your gift. Scootaloo, being very prompt, just stepped forward and held up the box on the frog of her hoof. “That’s my cue. Here ya go, Anon!” She tried to look as cool as possible as she presented it, even having her sunglasses lowered to add that extra flare.

“Thanks” You say as you slowly take it from her, open it, and hold it to Diamond, ready to say a cheesy line “Here you go, my love, so you’ll always know I’m close to your heart.”

She was speechless as she slowly took the locket and opened it to see a picture of herself and you, looking happy together within the heart shaped confines of the locket. She closes it, puts it upon herself, and just looks at you, lovestruck. “I-I’ll a-always keep it c-c-close to my heart.”

“There we are. Ahrm, you may now kis- Oh wait…” Mayor Mare looked to the paper, and corrected herself. Seems there was no deep loving kiss to be had among foals. “Cuddle the bride”

Diamond took that as a sign to just rush up to you and nuzzle her head against yours, the room filling up with the clapping stomps of ponies, Mayor Mare just gazing upon you both with a smile as a tear runs down her cheek. Silver was ecstatic about it, stomping along with everyone. Scootaloo too was filled with joy, happy to see everything work out alright, ignorant of the events that transpired before. Fluttershy was hugging against Discord, hardly able to contain herself with such a sweet moment. And speaking of contain, Spoiled was crying, publicly, in the legs of her husband. Though she was still able to give a death glare to the newsponies whenever they even looked like they were going to write about it. There was also a camera pony who took a snapshot of both you and Diamond, probably hired to make printouts for everyone who wanted a picture of the ‘darling couple’. Lyra and Bonbon were there too, just smiling on, excited to see you so happy and content. Hell, Lyra was practically springing up and down about it as Bonbon tried to calm her down.

Diamond, as she nuzzled you, began to softly whisper to you “I wish this could last forever, Anon. I wish, even though it really isn’t much, that this was the real wedding. We don’t need expensive things to make it great, we only need each other.”

“Yeah… Only makes me look forward to the future even more. Diamond, I have a surprise for you when the wedding is officially done, alright?” Man, the way she was just cuddling into you, kind of made you want to go to the resort ASAP. Y’know, for a little rest and relaxation. And yes, making her happy too, that is pretty important. And nothing else... Nothing else... nothing perverted

“A s-surprise?” She stops nuzzling you to look into your eyes with adoration and genuine curiousness. Though, there was a hint of hesitance as well. “Anon… You didn’t have to. I meant what I said… I want to be your partner, you don’t have to treat me super special anymore. Erm, well…” She giggles shyly “Not too super special. I-I mean, erm… I’m pretty loaded, y’know? I know your dad gives you a lot of bits and stuff, but… Y’know, you don’t need to spend it on me.”

“Well, that’s good then.” You give her a tricky sort of grin “Because the surprise was free. But like I said, I’ll get into it when we’re alone, alright?”

“A-alright…” She went back to nuzzling you. You could tell she enjoyed the affection as much as you did. “If it really was no trouble, then I’m super looking forward to it.”

With the wedding about over, some of the ponies began to leave, some quietly saying how efficient and adorable it all was. Scootaloo rejoined her friends asking Number Four, who was still outside, and Five to join her so she could introduce them before they go. Discord was noticeably displeased to see not only Five followed her, but also from Scootaloo grabbing Four’s attention from the front door, seems he was already getting an idea that something was up. But he also didn’t make a move, as Fluttershy tugged at his side to ask him to make some room for you. Diamond was taken by Mrs. Rich to the back of city hall to get her undressed and talk to her about how she feels about everything thus far… Or mostly just to make herself leave as she didn’t want to be caught crying any more than she already has. Mr. Rich, dragging a hesitant Starlight and a proud Number One along with him, went to speak with Mayor Mare and the newsponies to talk about what a success things were, and to give some credit to his security detail. Lyra and Bonbon, surprisingly, took their leave… Wonder why.

And you? Well, what else do you do but finally rejoin your family and see what’s up. “Aunt Fluttershy!” You squee out as you move in for a hug. “How are you! How was your trip?”

“Oh, Anon! I’ve missed you so so much! Oh, my trip? Well, my trip to the changeling hive went very well, they’re all so very nice already, they just needed help understanding a few things." Fluttershy then let out a soft little giggle "Their understanding of traditions is a little off, but they were so happy to celebrate them that I simply couldn't correct them, it just didn't seem right. As for the Breezies, they were a little tougher, but we got things worked out. How about you? How were things for you while I was gone?” Fluttershy asked, happily patting your head as she awaited your answer.

“Oh… Er…” Dammit Anon, why did you even hesitate?! “I’ve been alright, just jittery about the wedding is all. But hey, it went great and stuff!”

Suddenly, Number Three looked back on his seat, dumb as ever, and spouted “What about dat bug queen that attacked ya all smooth-like… With err, not my stuff I may or may have not accidentally given her to make me look bad all because I thought she was Number Five. I mean…” Suddenly he began to sweat “N-not like my fault I forgot he can’t talk, ain’t my fault at all.”

“It was his fault, ma’am. Instead of doing his job, he was trying to-” Number Two piped up, but was then immediately silenced as Discord grabbed both of them by the collar, his eyes suddenly flaring up. It seemed the mere mention of you in actual danger, or perhaps just the mention of Chrysalis, was enough to get to him… Oh wait, oh no… no, this is too soon. Did he just say what you think he said?

“What do you mean attacked?” Woah, Discord suddenly was super pissed and… WAIT!?! GODDAMMIT, THEY REALLY DID JUST SAID IT OUT LOUD IN FRONT OF HIM AND FLUTTERSHY! And if things get any louder, everyone in the room will know! Fuck! FUCK! THE HELL?! EVERYTHING WAS GOING OK! YOU HAD EVERYTHING PLANNED OUT! NOW SUDDENLY EVERYTHING WAS RUSHED FOR NO GOOD REASON OTHER THAN THE… Wait, so Chrysalis got the false evidence she was going to use from Three? Christ...

“A-attacked? W-when?! H-he’s just joking, r-right, Discord?” Fluttershy suddenly looked to you, suddenly shaking in fright “Anon… He’s joking, right?”

“U-umm…” You didn’t know what to say. Goddamnit, you were going to tell them, right? You were, you really were! But it couldn’t be here. Seriously, this was going too fast, even for you. Holy crap, you feel like you suddenly fast forwarded through a self told story for no reason other than the fact that someone had to be an idiot. You had no choice now but to try to play things cool and keep things private. “Please, c-can we talk in private? I… have some stuff to say.”

“Oh no…” Fluttershy nearly fell back as she began to turn white “Please tell me this isn’t happening.”

“Oh, I’m about to find out how ‘happening’ this all really is. I’ll come back for the rest later, but you two are coming back inside me.” Discord said in a low growl, preparing to snap his fingers.

“hehe, he said we were gonna come in-” Was all Three could say before his and Two’s existence were ended in an instant. Should you feel bad about that? Probably not, Two sucked for shocking you and Three was kind of annoying.

Discord’s eyes went a little wide when they disappeared as well, as if he suddenly remembered something. Indeed, something right then didn't sit well with him at all.

“Discord…? Are you alright?” Fluttershy asked, giving him a slight shake as he just stood there, silent for a moment.

“...Yes, just a tad annoyed… about a few things.” Discord looks back at Scootaloo and the gang as they happily spoke to Four and Five, already enjoying their company. “But before that, I’ll indulge Anon in making this a private matter between us.” Discord was being pretty serious about all this, as if possessed by a fatherly rage within him. Before anything more could be said, he raises his talons one more time, and snaps, causing everything to go dark around you.

Man, everything went to shit so fast. Thank you retarded and uninteresting Discord clones, for making your life a sudden scary hell. Practically plot devices if this was a written story.

When everything lit back up, you found yourself sitting in some sort of study, filled with books, a large portrait of Discord hanging on a wall, and a fireplace giving everything a comfy glow. Both you and Fluttershy were sitting on two huge red padded seats as Discord leaned against the side of the fireplace, smoking a bubble pipe. “Well, seems things really have escalated quickly, haven’t they?”

“D-Discord? What’s going on?” Fluttershy looked around, nervous, nearly frightened. “T-this is all so much, so fast. Please tell me I misheard things…” Fluttershy looked to you, with a heavy frown on her face “Anon, were you really attacked? You weren’t, right? That clone was just being silly… Right?”

Discord looked to you, and took a puff of his pipe as a large bubble inflated and then popped. “How about it, Anon. Was he being silly?”

Well, since the cat’s out of the bag for sure, what reason did you have to worry now? Discord seemed to be keeping it between the three of you, which meant you got to deal with everything else later. In that sense, your only worry is Fluttershy’s reaction. You take a breath, and nod. “Yeah, it’s true. I was planning to tell everypony individually, but… Well, here we are. Let me just say though, there’s more to the story than just that. Otherwise I’d be hurt, right?”

Fluttershy let out a small murmur to herself, worried even further as she tried to think of something to say to that. Yes, she could see you were ok, but she was trying to figure out as to why that is if only because she didn’t think Chrysalis would show any kind of mercy.

“Very true, which means two things. You either used your horn properly and squished her like the bug she is, or you both talked it out. Given what I already know, it can’t be the former. Which brings me to the most important part of this little chat.” Discord said as he stepped to the front of the fireplace, arms to his back as he looked at the both of you with a serious expression.

“And… What’s that?” You ask with caution.

“Simple… Why am I going to be friends with a filly? Seriously?! Were my clones so rushed and imperfect that they began to make friends on their own?! I already have you, Fluttershy, Spike, Smooze, Big Mac… Others… Why do I suddenly need more?” Discord complained as he threw his arms up in defiance.

“Discord…” Fluttershy said with a soft voice, smiling at him just a little “Why are you worried about that? There’s nothing wrong with… Wait.” Fluttershy realized, right then, that the actual important matter was derailed, causing her to enter a somewhat motherly rage as she flew up with a demanding demeanor. “Discord! That’s not important right now! What about the fact Anon was attacked! We still don’t know anything about it!”

“...I mean, he’s obviously fine an-Guh!” Discord steps back, suddenly in a state of worry as Fluttershy hovers right towards his face and stares him down.

“Stop right now, and worry about your son… Or I’m skipping tea. I mean it, I’ll skip it and spend my time with Twilight preparing for school tomorrow, do you understand?” Fluttershy threatened. Not a real threat really, but a heart sinker for a guy like Discord.

“Right, ok.” Discord gulped as he backed up, then looked to you more calmly, still nervous about her threat.”So then, Anon, elaborate on what happened… Please?”

Fluttershy landed beside Discord, took a breath, and suddenly went back to a worried state “Please be truthful, Anon. We can’t help if you lie to us. If she hurt you in anyway, we need to know.”

Ok, Anon… Go for it. “Well, Dad wasn’t wrong about the fact we talked. And uh, Three wasn’t wrong about her trying to end me. Look, let me just explain it…” And so you did, about everything. The talk, your plan, your foundation, everything. Well, everything but the getting shocked part. You could tell Fluttershy had a bunch of questions. But Discord? Well, if what Four said was true… “And that’s what happened. I know it sounds bad, but I think I got a hoofhold on it this time. C’mon Aunt Fluttershy, you understand, right? She’s suffering, she’s lonely, she even asked about Diamond, asking what she thought of her. I’m sure if I had mentioned you, she’d have something to say too. She’s close to being how she was in that other Equestria, I just need to find a way to get her to see that being evil is not the way. I have the situation under control, but I need help from everypony else to show her she can be forgiven. I mean, Stygian got that chance. Dad, you got that chance. Even Luna did… So why not her? We already know from her children that it’s possible. Look, if you’re worried I’ll fumble like before, then don’t. I won’t be ignorant about it, and I won’t let her control me. All I ask is an attempt, that’s all.”

Fluttershy just sat there, silently, the only thing being heard was the calming crackle of the fire from the fireplace. She contemplated your words deeply. She was upset that you were attacked at, but also surprised Chrysalis could be easily swayed from an act of horrid vengeance. Given she just came from talking to the changelings, she knew first hand how kindly and loving they had become. It still filled her with some rage that you were attacked, but then that same rage could be applied as vengeance if you really were hurt, a vengeance that Chrysalis must have felt when it came to her children. She was so conflicted. Part of her just wanted to see Chrysalis gone, but her kindly side, her loving side, she remembered her sisterly form and how caring she seemed, and she compared it to the fact that Chrysalis did help you save another Equestria. If there was a chance to help her, she couldn’t go against her nature to not take that chance. But it was a chance about one of Equestria’s biggest enemies. So instead of thinking on it further, she looks to Discord. “Discord… Do you think there might be a chance to help her? I can’t imagine how horrible it must feel to lose your children like that. But if Anon has seen she could change, and her children can change, then do you think it might be possible?”

Discord turned his back on the both of you, looking into the flames as he spoke near ominously. “That’s the golden question, isn’t it? True, having her as my guest did have a profound effect on her if she was able to befriend Anon. But she’s still a bearer of a black heart. Can she reform? And even if she can, is Anon the right pony for the job? Who knows?” Discord said with a shrug before turning around with a swarmy smile “But hey, knowing the four princesses will be in the know will be worth a hearty chuckle out of me. Seeing Twilight’s face when she finds out about it will be spectacular! Not to mention getting to see Celestia have a spaz all her own.”

“Discord! This is serious! How could you even think of something so rotten at a time like this?!” Fluttershy blurted out, rather angrily.

“Ahrm…” Discord stepped back a tad, rather stunned from her outburst, becoming sheepish in his next set of words. “Erm… What I mean is, with the princesses in the know, and the few others Anon plans to tell, there'd be a circle of protection between all of us. Besides, he wouldn’t be looking for trouble this time, he’d merely be making his move when she reveals herself. I personally know the feeling of loneliness, or the realization of it anyway. And given she herself is a mother without her children, I’d wager it wouldn’t be long until she wished she had at least somepony to be friendly with, perhaps to even help her see what they see. That is what I think, Fluttershy. Of course, I won’t make the decision to allow it without your say so.”

Fluttershy’s ears folded down, her tail drooping as she tried to figure it out in her head. She was somewhat moved by the fact Discord seemed to have an understanding, but it still worried her so. “I really can’t imagine how lonely that really must feel… But looking at it like that, I think we’d be monsters ourselves if we didn’t try something. If what Anon really said is true, she’s hurting very very much. But it’s so scary still. There’s so many things that can happen, both good and bad. She could change, or she could just be lie about it to try to get something out of Anon… Like his horn.” Fluttershy slowly looked to you, near shaking in worry. “Anon, even if you’re from another world, you’re still a foal. This is a lot of responsibility, and the only reason I’m even considering it is because you plan to tell the princesses, and because it does seem rather awful to feel so alone. But before I make my decision, I have to ask… Do you really believe what you think?”

You did, the fact she backed off from murdering you or forcing you to give up the horn upon her exit proved that. You nod, and look at Fluttershy with determination in your heart. “I do, and I finally have the foundation to work off from. And if I can get everypony’s support, then I really think I can make it all work. Heck, if it’ll make you feel better, Aunt Fluttershy, I promise not to hesitate to defend myself in case anything goes wrong. But with all the princesses willing to help, how could Chrysalis not see that reforming would be helpful for her? Right? That makes sense… Right?”

Fluttershy grew silent once more, and contemplated for only a couple of moments before saying, mostly to herself. “Well, if it’ll really be that secure, and if she really does care. Mngh, I’m still so worried, but… If we didn’t even try to help her now that she needs it, then it’s very possible she’d never have another chance like this to see that evil is wrong.” Fluttershy grows silent once again after that, then finally looks to you with a worried nod “Ok, I guess we can try. But all the princesses have to know. Anon, I want you to follow through on that, and I want to know they're ok with it, alright? I’ll stand behind you one hundred percent if I at least know you’ll have the maximum amount of safety and caution when it comes to helping her. Otherwise… Well, your safety is more important to me.”

“Well, if Fluttershy is in, then I’m in for sure. But must you give the princesses so much credit? Really, Fluttershy…” Discord starts to flex increasingly enlarging muscles, posing to show off his artificial macho physique. “I’m more than enough protection for Anon. And even then, Chryssie lacks a home base and an army, she’s also without much of a food source. It’d be rather silly to even think she’s a credible threat at this point.”

“Discord, I know you’re very powerful, but I just want to make sure everything is as secure as it can be. Remember, we’re also going to be opening a school tomorrow, meaning students from all across Equestria can be at risk. Twilight and the other princesses need to be in the know to make sure not just Anon, but everypony is safe. Do you understand now? I’m not undermining you, I just really want everypony to be as safe as possible.” Fluttershy says, finally giving in to the plan. “It might even be hard to convince Twilight, but I’ll help convince her if I have to. But again, I want her ok before we do anything else. So if she says no… Then it’s no.”

“Understood, Aunt Fluttershy… Thanks for understanding, I promise to tell her right away after I wrap up everything at Town Hall. Which erm, Dad, that reminds me, you gotta let your fourth and fifth clone say goodbye to Scootaloo, alright?” You mention this now for one reason. You wanted to make sure Scootaloo got that goodbye, and you knew Fluttershy would assert herself on Discord if he resisted.

“Ugggggggggggh!” Discord grabbed onto his own head and shook it in disdain. “Soooo troublesome, why do I even need her as a friend?! It’s pointless!” Discord then began to wave his talon at Fluttershy “You understand, right, Fluttershy? And if not, can we go back to Chryssi then? I’d rather discuss her and how we should punish Anon for even having such an idea to help her, it's all so futile.”

Fluttershy at first, was rather confused. In truth, she was just trying to piece together Discord’s reluctance, and when she finally did, she just looked at him with a smile and waved her hoof back at him. “Sorry Discord, you already said you agreed to help before, you can't just flip it because you don't want to make friends. And besides, I know deep in my heart that if the changelings can be good, then she can be too, and that’s that. I m-mean…” Fluttershy suddenly began to feel conflicted and nervous again “It should work, right? I admit, part of me just wants it all to go away. I’m scared of somepony getting hurt. But...” Fluttershy puts a hoof to her heart, as if there was a sting to it “I know if I really lost my friends, you, or Anon… I… It really would be the worst feeling I could ever feel. I think it's that kind of feeling that might be hurting her too.”

“Yes, very very hurtful. And, oh no! Look at the time! Seems I need to be going to see my good friend Spike about tonight’s game of-” Discord, looking at his right arm that was suddenly covered in watches, tried to immediately vacate the study, but was too late when Fluttershy looked back up at him to continue what she was saying.

“And, Discord, you have to do something about Scootaloo. You know what I mean…” Fluttershy said, pointing at him again.

Wut? “What does she mean?”

“She means that I need to play it straight. We both know I can’t just suggest to keep the clones around forever, that simply won't work” Discord explained. He was right though. You remembered the time he had turned the X-Captain into a chair back when he was just a normal changeling, he just eventually changed back to normal. Chaotic constructs can’t remain in a harmonic world for too long without continual influence or a connection, such as the link between your own chaotic nature, the horn, and Discord. Not to mention Discord himself nearly killed himself when trying to be normal. In that sense, friendship, even if they wanted it, probably wouldn’t help a chaotic construct last long. So it made sense, he had to accept his fate. “But really, Scootaloo? I already know when it comes to any of them that having one as a friend means you get the whole package. I’m telling you, Fluttershy, it’s utterly beneath me! I refuse to make friends with foals. They are too young to understand and appreciate my exquisite and advanced way of thinking”

Fluttershy, this time, conjured up an adorably sly smile, and stared right at him. “And yet you’re friends with a baby dragon.”

Discord’s eye twitched when she said that, he was also quite silent upon that mention.

Fluttershy just let out a lighthearted giggle “You’ll be fine, Discord, it doesn’t hurt to have a few more friends. Just let her have her goodbyes first, alright? And please, be polite, I know you can if you really try.”

“I… Suppose. Can we at least have some tea first? It’ll help settle my nerves.” Discord asked, with pleading eyes.

“Ok, I wouldn’t mind a little tea myself. I’m still trying to get the jitters out, and I’m still tired from the trip. Mmmm, Anon, would you like to join us?” Fluttershy asked you.

You’d really love to, but you do have some shit to do, really important shit. You still have to deal with Starlight after all, and you couldn’t leave Diamond hanging. “Nah, I got some stuff to do right now. Can’t leave Diamond hanging, I got tickets for us to go to a resort for a couple days. I mean, that’s alright with you if I go, right, Aunt Fluttershy?”

“Oh my, now that just sounds adorable and most of all, safe, since there will be so many ponies around. It’s like a little honeymoon. Isn’t that adorable, Discord?” Fluttershy looked to him to see his approval.

But Discord didn’t seem approving, he seemed stunned for a moment, and already looked like he was scheming before suddenly smiling towards Fluttershy and saying “It sounds very pleasant. A shame though. With both you and Big Mac away, Spike and I will have nopony to play O&O with.” And that's all he really said, he didn't follow it up with anything else.

It was odd that he didn’t try to go further with that, or try to pull some sort of sympathy his way. He simply just stated a fact, and it made you only somewhat suspicious. “Well, y’know, I’m not super big on the game anyway. Maybe Scootaloo will take my place. You don’t mind asking her, right?”

“Nope, in fact, I now plan to do that after tea.” Discord snaps his talons, as a table with a tea set suddenly appears between him and Fluttershy. “Which, if Fluttershy doesn’t mind, I wish to have in this study. It calms me so…”

“Oh, I don’t mind. I think the light from the fireplace makes the whole place feel homey. But Anon is right, you should ask Scootaloo, it’d be a good way to ease into the friendship.” Fluttershy said as she began to gently pet the now living tea pot. “So cute.”

“Yes…” Discord then looked to you and waved “As for you, Anon. Take care, and may I ask, make sure Scootaloo nor the clones leave town hall. I won’t be long and I’d just like everypony to be in one place when I do my thing.”

“Right, I guess I can do that. Anyway, bye Dad, bye Aunt Fluttershy. Enjoy your tea time! And… Well…” Your ears began to fold as you began to feel some guilt over Fluttershy feeling upset “I hope I didn’t worry you too much. I know what I’m asking is a lot, and considering what happened last time, why you’d doubt me.”

Fluttershy’s cheery mood waned to those words. She got off her chair and walked over to you, giving you a gentle hug as she gave you very soft headpats. “It’s alright, you didn’t worry me. I’m just a little scared, that’s all. But I don’t doubt you. Everything you said sounds like she’s just a hurt mother who only wants her children back. And I feel we can help her and reform her to be a better changeling. But just remember Anon, you need to tell the truth too. No lies, ok? It's the only way to make things work, we all need to be honest with each other.” Well, that was sudden. Then again, she probably just thought of it just now, and wanted to say it to you. You only guessed it could be true, anyone hiding their feelings or lying during a time like this could cause issues.

“No lies, I promise Aunt Fluttershy.” You say, hugging onto her tightly “I love you.”

“I love you too, and I hope you have a good time with your little vacation. I’ll be waiting to hear about it when you get back, ok?” She said

“Ok.” You say back.

“...And don’t do anything naughty.” Discord looks to you, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Naughty? What do you mean by that, Discord?” Fluttershy looked back at him, confused. “Anon is a good colt, you know that.”

GODDAMMIT, YOU KNEW WHAT HE MEANT. “U-uh, yep, I am. And I will continue to be. I… Uh, can I go now?” Dammit, please, let him just poof you back, you didn’t need to be teased in this way.

“Yes, yes, if you insist. See you soon, Anon.” Discord said with a snap of his talons, teleporting you away in an instant.

Anon, you lucky fuck. If it wasn't for Fluttershy interacting with changelings, and the fact she had developed a motherly empathy in such a way, she would have said no. Only problem now was the princesses. In truth, they could be more trouble than helpful, but you needed them to accept it so other ponies would follow suit.

When you reappeared back in Town Hall, or what you thought was Town Hall, you actually found yourself in a rather warped version of Ponyville. Actually, it looked like when Discord took it over back in season 2. The hell was all this?! “Da fuck? Is this a joke?” You asked yourself aloud as you looked upon the upside down Town Hall that floated over you. The grass was all checkerboard, the day and night cycles were rapidly changing, and all the other cottages and houses were topsy turvy. “What the hell happened while I was gone?”. Things were so surreal, were you dreaming, or were you in some sort of pocket space? You could just assume Discord did something assholish just because he was ticked he had to make friends with Scootaloo, but why send you here?

“C’mon, this is so fUUCKKAAAAHH!” When you took a step forward, you also somehow forgot that the road below you was made of slippery soap, at least when it pertained back to Season 2. You try to keep your balance, but all you do is slip and slide around the chaotic touched town until you end up slipping on your face and sliding forward a some yards into the center of town.

After a few moments, you end up slamming your head into something hard, making you come to a complete stop. While your head was certainly fine from such a smash, you found your mouth literally washed out with soap, its nasty and cleansing taste causing you to raise your head and spit up profusely. “OH GOD! IT TASTES LIKE TURD SOCKS! IT’S SOAP! HOW DOES IT EVEN TASTE LIKE THAT?!” You screamed to yourself as you spit and sputtered to get the gross taste off your tongue.

As you sat there, rubbing your tongue with your hooves, you began to notice both a hooven leg and a dragon like one attached to a long torso. In fact, as you looked up, you saw Discord sitting on the same throne he had in Season 2. Or rather, it was Discord’s clone, number Five, sitting upon the throne, looking upon you with a slick smile. Why was he smiling like that? Why did he have a throne? Unless…

OH SHIT! HE WENT ROGUE AND SUDDENLY TOOK OVER PONYVILLE! Why would he do this? No seriously, why? You had no clue since the fucker never talked, but whatever it was, this was going too far. You hopped back to prepare yourself for combat, only to slip back onto the road and slide backwards on your belly, screaming as you span like a top back across the road until you slammed onto a wall on the side of a twisted building. “G-guh… Dammit, good thing nopony is looking at me right now…”

“Actually, Anon, we kinda totally saw you right now. And uh, listen bro, not to sound like a jerk, but that was pretty funny.” You heard the voice of a familiar young dragon speaking to you some laughter following.

Wha? When you raised your head, you could see Spike, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, Babs, and Trixie sitting on chairs, facing the direction of Five’s throne as if they were watching a show. “Huh, wha?! What’s going on?! And what do you mean funny?! Don’t you see one of my dad’s clone just went on a power trip?”

“Yes, Anon…” Trixie said said with an impatient sigh “It’s part of the show. Not as good as any of Trixie’s shows mind you, but decently entertaining.”

Show? Decently entertaining?! Fuck her! You didn’t know what was going on, but you knew the wedding, especially your vow, was more entertaining than the fall of Equestria, or her stupid magic shows. The fuck was she on?! The fuck any of them were on?! “First of all, that’s factually wrong. Second of all, you slept through my fake wedding! Which, by the way, was better than an entire town BEING TWISTED INTO CHAOS!”

“Factually wrong?!” Trixie hopped off her chair and stepped up to you in an imposing manner “I’ll have you know that Trixie’s shows are as amazing as they are powerful! In addition…” Trixie faltered a little as she came to the realization that she did, in fact, sleep through your wedding. It filled her with guilt as she realized her second point wasn't so pointy. “I am sorry about that. Well, actually… I am sorry if you’ll be sorry about what you just said, about these two whatever clones’ play on when Discord was defeated by Twilight and her friends being better than my magnificent shows.”

Really? She’ll only apologize if you will? What kind of logic was that?! ESPECIALLY WHEN THE TOWN… Wait, what did she say? “Wait, a show on my dad’s defeat?” You look back to see Number Four, dressed as Twilight, and a bunch of puppets representing the rest of the five, step up to face off against Five. “This is a reenactment thing? Wha? Why?”

“I can answer that.” Sweetie Belle chimed in “Babs got curious as to why Discord lost in the first place, since he’s super powerful and stuff, it didn’t make sense to her.”

“Of course it doesn’t make sense. Nothing involving Twilight ever makes sense. Yes, she may be a good friend, but I swear she cheats at using magic sometimes. You all have noticed that, right?” Trixie says, calmed, sitting back on her seat as she looks on unimpressed. “Sometimes things seem to work for her for no good reason.”

“That’s because Twilight is actually really amazing at magic, Trixie. She’s studied and trained really hard to be as good as she is. You can’t just think you’re the best and then be the best, it doesn’t work like that. Also, you really should apologize to Anon. Sleeping through his wedding wasn’t cool, he has a pretty good reason to be mad at you.” Spike said, coming to your defense.

“Guh… Hmmm… I suppose that might be a reason. And…” Trixie sighs, and looks to you with a defeated yet softened look, her arrogance cut. “And I suppose that, perhaps, that was very rude of me. I’m sorry, I just… I was just very tired. And…” She takes a bigger breath, finding her next words difficult to muster “I guess, considering how everypony else reacted, that it was a wedding worth watching. I regret missing it. Is that, erm, enough an apology?” You could tell that she quickly realized that sleeping through a wedding, even a fake one, was fucking rude.

“Yeah…” You could be really mean, and point out she was still being an asshole by trying to ask if she was forgiven. But the fact she was right about Twilight pulling out some bullshit wins, and that she was tired as fuck to begin with, in addition with not wanting to cause a scene with anyone else, made you just take it as is. “It’s ok, Trixie. Just be more mindful, I guess.”

“Don’t wanna sound like a butt over here, but if you’re all through with the apologies, maybe we can all focus on the fact that things are about to get tossed. There’s gonna be a real bad rumble if this whole thing is as close to the real fight as possible. I don’t wanna miss a single buck!” Babs said in impatience and excitement, wanting to see the carnage that was about to commence between Four and Five.

Calmed, you just decide to sit down next to Spike and watch the show. Though you found it rather puzzling, you didn’t remember there being a slugfest or anything. No, that didn’t happen at all. Even in this ongoing reenactment, Four and the puppets just said the same lines Twilight once said as Five sat there boredly. And just like before, a rainbow shot up from the false elements and came down right upon Five, turning him to stone. “And so, with Discord’s defeat, Ponyville returned to its peaceful state once again. Returned to harmony thanks to Twilight and her friends.” Said Four in a narration that filled the air. Odd though, everything was still weird.

You leaned over to Spike and whispered "What gives, everything is still weird."

Spike just whispered back "Probably a budget thing."

Ok then...

Babs just sat there, stunned for a few moments. Finally, she threw out her hooves in discontent “Woah woah woah, are you kiddin’ me?! Where was the fight?! He just stood there and took a rainbow beam to the face! That’s now how it really happened, right?” Babs asked, massively disappointed with the results of said ‘fight’.

“Trixie only somewhat takes things back in the sense Trixie knows her shows were much better than that.” Trixie said, also quite befuddled on what happened.

“That’s really how it happened? I dunno, Discord always seemed like he was much smarter than that. Ah mean, how did he not notice Rainbow Dash was back with everypony else?” Applebloom asked, she herself confused on what happened. “Was he just dumb when he was a bad guy? Would explain the whole Tirek thing. Still, you'd think he notice his spell was broken.”

“I’m more confused on why he stood there. You don’t need to have reflexes like Rainbow Dash to dodge a Rainbow moving that slow.” Scootaloo too, was astonished on how bad Discord performed. “Did he not realize he could have won if he just, like, snapped his talons or whatever? Spike, you were there, did it really happen like that?”

“Pretty much. Discord is a great guy and all, but once he’s got something going, he doesn’t really know when it actually stops.” Spike answered “I mean, that’s not always a bad thing, as long as it has nothing to do with one of his mean jokes. When it has something to do with something great, like O&O, he turns it into something really amazing!”

You were kind of torn on this little debate. Discord could be an awful ass sometimes, but he could also be real cool. Really, it actually made you feel rather uncomfortable just talking to him in any negative light right now, he didn’t deserve it considering all the good he's done lately. “Yeah, Dad is super cool when he wants to be, that’s for sure. This just wasn’t one of his finer moments, that’s all. I dunno what it is about being evil, but it just makes you seem to miss things everypony else can see.”

“Does that mean he’s still evil then? Because WE can see how much he likes Fluttershy, but somehow he can't. Like, Anon, don’t you think it’d be cool to have Fluttershy as a mom?” Sweetie Belle asked, to the surprise of everyone there, causing you all to look at her with silent surprise. “What? I was just making an observation, it’s clear he really likes her.”

“Yeah, I was gonna bring that up to him at one point. But Discord can be pretty touchy about that kind of thing sometimes.” Spike said, being the least stunned from Sweetie’s words.

“Uh, don’t y’all think it's kind of weird to mention it at all? Discord is kinda scary, to be honest. I don’t think he’d be right for Fluttershy.” Applebloom mentioned, clearly not very well versed on how Discord truly cared about Fluttershy.

“Oh trust me, Dad is like a kitten when she’s around, he’ll do anything to gain her affection and praise, he just won’t admit to loving her, just liking her. Like it’s already been mentioned, Dad is cool to be around, especially once you understand how he works.” You then look to Scootaloo, knowing she’d have to figure that out in some sense “Scoots, you know what I mean by that, right?”

“Ugh… I guess. I dunno, Four and Five already mentioned why they can’t stick around, and that stinks. But I was thinking about it and I dunno if I want to be his friend. No offense to you or Spike or anything, but the guy is a jerk, and I’ve seen how he treats you sometimes. Even with Four and Five’s memories, how do I know he won’t treat me bad too?”

“Well, that depends on the kind of friend you are to him.” Said a voice that came from above all of you. You all look up to see Four and Five, back in their security costumes, as they began to hover down in front of the group. “Our originator, while loving to be himself as much as possible, does have that softer side he presents to Fluttershy. A side that only comes out due to the loving and gentle care she has for him. This is the opposite of the kind of friendship he has with Anon, as Anon himself can fully indulge in his love of chaos and can handle being duped, outwitted, or outright tricked.”

“Yeah, that sounds just ab- Hey! That doesn’t even happen! Dad rarely, if ever, gets the drop on me!” You barked back, not wanting to be made the fool. Though, it seems the group caught on to the fact it may be true, and had a small giggle over it.

“Well, I suppose that depends on how you define ‘rare’. Ah, but I can already see you getting more flustered, Anon, so let us change subjects. What did you think of the performance?” Four asked.

Four was right, you were indeed getting a little ticked at being made a fool. If he carried on like Discord would have, you would have… Well, you didn’t really have any dirt to spill on a clone, now did you? Ugh, sucks being the butt of the joke sometimes.

“Could have been better. With such a boring ending, Trixie much rather would have enjoyed Twilight suffer some sort of curse or something. You don't need to stick to a script all the time” Trixie stated, which actually seemed to get Spike a little upset.

“Yo, Trixie, what’s your problem with Twilight? She saved you from being controlled by some stupid amulet, you know that right? Also, if she did lose, Discord probably would have turned you into a pony-in-a-box.” Spike said, looking to Trixie with annoyance over her comment.

“A pony-in-a-box?” Trixie has a chuckle at that “Puuhhhlleeease, the Great and Powerful Trixie would not have succumbed to such a weak curse. I simply would have-” But no one was having any of that shit as you all furrowed your brows at her, causing her to get nervous. “Ok, fine, look, I don’t have THAT much of a problem with Twilight. I just get sick of hearing how good she is at magic and friendship all the time. I’ve made friends too, you know? There’s Anon, and Starlight, and… Uh… What are your names again?” Trixie pointed her right hoof to the CMC.

Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow at her “Really? You were hanging out with us the entire show.”

“That doesn’t mean I learned any of your names. The only thing I can remember about your name is that it has two syllables. Sweaty, I think your name was...” Trixie stated

Sweetie Belle just angrily narrowed her eyes at her “It’s Sweetie, my name is Sweetie Belle.”

“That can’t be right, that has three syllables.” Trixie said as she pondered on it.

Sweetie’s eyes nearly turned red from Trixie’s naivety. She didn’t like the fact that her name was being associated with disgusting perspiration “That’s because it IS three syllables! Do you think I wouldn’t know my own name?!” She squeaked out.

“I wouldn’t be surprised. Those two colts, Snips and Snails I think, had forgotten their names once or twice.” Trixie said

Sweetie Belle’s face turned red as she rose up in the air in a fury. “YOU’RE GONNA COMPARE ME TO THEM?! WHERE DO YOU GET OFF SAYING THOSE KINDS OF THINGS?! HOW DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER THEIR NAMES, BUT NOT MINE?!”

“I was merely speaking out of experience. It’s not as if that kind of thing doesn’t happe-GYAH!” Trixie suddenly finds herself falling back onto the ground, Sweetie Belle releasing a flying karate kick onto her face fueled by her own rage, catching everyone off guard.

“W-woah, Sweetie Belle. I uh…” Scootaloo went to check on Trixie, who was knocked out cold by Sweetie’s attack. “I think you knocked her out. Where did you even learn to do that? And uh…” Scootaloo noticed Trixie was muttering out nonsensical magic words or words implying she was trying to impress her father in some way “She gonna be alright?”

Five leaned down and raised Trixie by the back, placing his paw on her chest to check her heartbeat. After seeing it was fine, he gave a thumbs up to Four, with Four responding with “Seems she’ll be alright, just a physical hit to the face damaged her ego enough to knock her out for a spell, that's all.”

“Well, she deserved it, I think she was doing it on purpose!” Sweetie replied as she took deep breaths, trying to relax herself after such a high flying kick.

“I mean, maybe, ya still shouldn’t have done that.” Applebloom said as she looked over to the fallen mare, feeling kind of bad she got kicked so hard by such a dainty foal.

“I’m with Scootaloo though, how’d ya manage such a blockbusting kick?” Babs asked, perplexed by Sweetie’s show of finesse.

“Rarity kind of taught it to me. She said a lady needs to know how to defend herself against ‘uncouth barbarians’ and that sometimes we can’t be afraid to get our hooves dirty. I mean, I’m not afraid of getting them dirty anyway, so it was pretty easy and…” When Sweetie looked down to see what she had actually done, she did start to feel bad that she had knocked Trixie out so easily in a single kick “Oh boy, I guess I kind of overdid it, though…”

“Yeah, but that was still a dynamite kick. You gotta teach that to me before I go back home, might be good to try on mugs who don’t pay for their mane cuts.” Babs said, impressed by Sweetie’s handiwork.

The conversation went around like this for awhile, but you yourself didn’t have much to say. No, you actually found your attention focusing on your grand master plan. It might be a good idea to let the CMC in on it, for sure. Applebloom would be able to explain things better to Scrappy than you could, and he himself could be helpful in convincing the hive to accepting Chrysalis back once you got her changed. But the princesses had to come first, and Spike was closest to the one you’d have the most trouble with, so maybe you should talk to him about Twilight before actually confronting her.

So you do, you ask Spike if you could talk to him privately. Of course, the others got a little suspicious as to why you’d single him out. But you just explain that it’s just private guy stuff and has to do with something secret among you two. Luckily, they buy it. Spike, seeming rather curious as to why you’d ask him to speak in private, agrees to do it, and so you both head deeper into the chaotic Ponyville until you’re are standing in front of a Sugar Cube Corner that was actually just a sugar cube.

“So, what’s up, Anon? This about O&O? The friendship school? Or is it about the wedding?” Spike asked.

“Actually, it’s two things. I didn’t get the chance to ask this but, where are we exactly? I figure it’s a pocket space at this point, but where is it originating from? Also, why is Trixie here?” You said as you dared a lick on the actual cube. Huh, it actually was made of sugar.

“Some janitor’s closet. We needed some privacy since Starlight was acting really weird and asking questions about you or about, and this was super weird, our identities. It’s kinda why Trixie came with us, Starlight was making her feel uncomfortable.” Spike said, putting his claws to his hips as he took a breath “Yeeeeah, nopony didn’t want her snooping around in here coming to any crazy conclusions. No offense to her, but it was just really off putting.”

Ugh, you had to nip that one in the bud as soon as possible. She was probably going bonkers looking for you to make sure you were ok, as well as making sure none of the leaving guests were Chrysalis. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense. So uh, yeah… The second thing I have to mention. It’s actually a bit of a doozy.”

“A doozy, huh? Ok, don’t mince words then. Hit me with everything you got, I can take it.” Spike said as he braced himself, as if you were going to smack him or something.

“Spike, I need you to take this seriously. I’m gonna need your help with it because I know how Twilight can be.” You tell him.

“Twilight? Oh geez, Anon, it involves Twilight? I guess this really is- Oh no…” Spike suddenly comes to a realization, as if he knew what you were going to say. “Don’t tell me it’s gotta do with ‘her’. C’mon, Anon, what are you thinking?”

“Spike, look. Yes, it is about Chrysalis. And yeah, I guess I deserve your doubt considering she didn’t reform. But, buuut, her children did reform, didn’t they? That means there is a chance, right?” C’mon, Spike. You knew he could be logical when he wanted to be.

“Yeah, sure, but it’s the fact she didn’t and that you’re still on this that worries me. Anon, look, I’ll be straight up, you should drop this right now before you end up getting hurt. Nothing has changed since she disappeared, and unless she showed up all of a sudden, then whatever you got going down is just a bad idea.” Spike, as you should have expected, was worried about you already, thinking you were chasing a dead dream. He was trying to ‘save’ you.

“Well then, it looks like you’re willing to listen then because she DID actually show up recently. As in, she showed up during the wedding.” You tell Spike in a rather nonchalant way. You had him now, he would be too curious to not hear you out at this point.

“What?! She was at the wedding?! And you knew?! And… Wait…” Spike started to realize a few things within his own surprise. “...I guess that explains why Starlight was asking those questions, guess she figured it out or you told her. And since nothing bad happened… Er… I guess this is why you wanted to talk in private. Ok, before you tell me your plan, tell me exactly what’s up with her.”

And so you do, you even mention the attempted murder, as the fact it didn’t happen should help your case that she’s willing to change to some degree. After telling your story and your plan, Spike just sits down on the ground, and ponders. “Ok, I see what you’re going for now. She’s starting to care what others think of her. I guess I can understand that when you end up alone and don’t have anypony to listen to you, that'd you start to want to be around somepony and want them to care about you. And I guess something had to have clicked in that black heart of hers too. Man, just thinking about it, it’s really heavy when you realize all your kids just decide to up and leave you. But, Anon, this is still kinda nuts. Like, did you ever think of the possibility that she could lie about reforming? And I’m talking about if it looks like your plan works. Because, considering she’s willing to… Y’know… kkssst” Spike slides his claw along his throat to signify murder “It’d be dangerous to just let her walk around.”

“It’s a risk, I know, but check this out. The Chrysalis from the other Equestria told me she changed when she lost her hive, and came to take care of a bunch of enslaved foals. It’s proof enough that it can happen and that it’d be hard for our Chrysalis to fake. We already know she’s starting some sort of change, we just need to show her that we’re willing to accept her to make it happen. I need the princesses, the elements, and a few of our friends on board to get things started. And then I can work on an actual plan to get things to happen. Heck, it could be as simple as just another talk with her. Since she doesn’t want to end me now, loneliness has to be creeping more and more on her at this point. I don’t think it’d be too long before she wants a friend to hang around with. C’mon, Spike, I’m just asking you to help me convince Twilight to accept her. Aunt Fluttershy offered, but she just doesn’t have the will to take her on like you do.”

“Woah, Fluttershy is ok with it?” Spike said, surprised that Fluttershy was willing to take this chance.

“Yeah, she and Dad already know, I told them.” You say

“Well, guess you’re already making some progress. Alllllrighty, fine, I’ll help. Can’t let you barreling in only for Twilight to shut you down without giving you a chance. I mean, she kinda has to listen since she’s the one who set up an entire school for everycreature to learn about friendship. If you ask me, she’d be a hypocrite not to consider things, y’know?” Spike gives you a sly little smirk as he says that, it seemed he had a plan to get you through the threshold of Twilight’s denial.

“You’re really willing to help me? Even though you're Twilight’s number one?” You ask, a tad skeptical.

“Look, I’m willing to help you, that’s no problem. I just expect you not to go all crazy about it. Do that and I’m hopping sides. Yeah, I know, Twilight can be pretty nutsy herself. And yeah, I know if she had her way on some circumstances like this, Discord wouldn’t be here, Starlight wouldn’t be here, and… Well… You’d be in Tartarus. Yeah, still haven’t really forgotten that. Look, Anon, I’ll be honest with you. I have given the whole changeling thing some thought. I dunno, you ever feel like destiny kinda changed at a certain point? Y’know, like you had a dream or something that made you the one, say, help reform the changelings in some way? Or at least one of them… With a really awkward song, and Princess Cadance was there… Ergh, look.” Spike shook his head to clear his mind, and then looked to you with a serious expression. “I got your back, ok? Twilight should be free in a couple of hours to finalize her plans for the first day of school. If you want, come by the castle, and we’ll talk to her together, ok?”

You nod. Fucking yes! Things were working out so far, huzzah! “Yeah, I’ll do that. Thanks, Spike, you’re a bro!”

“Yeah, I know. Well, everypony is probably leaving this place by now, let’s head back. You still gotta talk to Starlight. Hope she didn’t explode or something.” Spike says as he begins to walk back to the group.

“Yeah, let’s do ttTTTHHHAAAGHHHH!” You begin to trot, only to quickly slip on the soapy road once again, sliding back towards the group as soap builds up in your eyes. “AGH! IT BURRRNNSS!”

Spike, who was standing on the side of the road, just shakes his head at the shame of it. “Really hoping I’m making the right decision here.”

As Spike predicted, everyone was waiting by a door that led back into Town Hall’s rather large janitor’s closet. It was pretty roomy for a closet to be able to fit all of you and all these buckets, mops, and other cleaning supplies. Heck, the only thing wrong with this picture at this moment was the fact Trixie was on the floor, knocked out, and her tongue hanging loose. “Sheesh, is she dead?” You ask

“Nah, just knocked out. I didn’t think Trixie would get knocked out that hard; guess I’m stronger than I thought.” Sweetie Belle said, a little astonished at herself for such a feat.

“What should we do? Should we slap her or something? Anon isn’t wrong, she does look kinda… Y’know.” Scootaloo said as she poked at Trixie’s face, then jumped back slightly when her eye just blinked open then back to closed.

“No worries, young Scootaloo. With a snap of my talons.” Four snaps, causing Trixie to vanish from everyone’s sight. “She will soon find herself snug in her wagon, as if nothing ever happened.”

Spike during all this gave you a nudge, and whispered “Anon, you should get going and check on Starlight before she falls apart.”

Ahhh, right, you still had to do that. You look to everyone and wave your hoof as you back off to the door. “Well, since things are dying down, I’m gonna head out and see if anypony else needs me. I mean, the wedding just ended and all and I’m sure Diamond and maybe Starlight would want to have a chat with me.”

Everyone understood, and just cheerfully gave you a goodbye and a wave, Sweetie Belle noting that Diamond probably wanted to nag you about a honeymoon at this point and saying how dreamy it'll probably be. Well, that wasn’t something you had to worry about, the nagging anyway. If Diamond meant what she said, then things should be a lot more smooth between you and her. And besides, you’d be providing the pseudo honeymoon yourself anyway. But that wasn’t important right now, you had to go find Starlight.

“There you are, Anon! Been lookin’ everywhere for ya, son.” But as you step out into the end of the eastern hallway, you are immediately spotted by Mr. Rich, who greeted you with a warm and relieved call. You tensed for a moment, only to realize you really had nothing to fear from him.

“Mr. Rich? Oh hey, erm, looking everywhere? Didn’t realize I was gone for so long, something happen?” You ask, staying cautious. You didn’t want him to suspect anything.

“Other than your friend Starlight lookin’ like she’s gettin’ spooked by ghosts and the missus locking herself in the westward changing room, ain’t much else goin’ on.” Mr. Rich said in a rather calm manner, kinda weird given the circumstances. But then his next words kind of explain that. “Anyway, decided to hunt ya down myself so you can calm Starlight down before she starts turnin’ over the place. Don’t know what got into her, but she ain’t really willing to discuss it. Luckily for me, I knew I’d find ya quick with my business scoping knowhow, all I had to do was look down here at the… er… “ Mr. Rich looks at the label of the door you just exited, it was labeled ‘Janitor’s closet’. “What were you doin’ in there, son?”

You look back, and notice what he was talking about. You then look back at him and shrug. “Oh, erm, not much. Just wanted to see what was in there, that’s all.” Did you even need to seem shifty about this? Egh, it’d be too much to explain what really went on in there anyway.

“Uhuh…” Mr. Rich said as he stoically looked down at you, seemingly suspicious of your motives, finding it odd you'd be interested in fucking brooms of all things. He also noticed you looked cleaner, and your tux shinier, than before. “Anon, did ya wash up with the cleaning supplies in there? Because you’re looking right shiny.”

“Oh! Erm!” You look down at yourself. Huh, all that road slipping actually seemed to have had a positive effect on you after all. “Yeah, wanted to spruce myself up a bit for when I saw Diamond again. Um, is there something wrong with that, Mr. Rich?”

“Well, kind of. Y’see, Anon, good suits like them don’t usually last so long when you wash em with them kind of supplies. Trust me, I know, tried it once myself due to it being an outright emergency. All it did was cause my suit to shrink while I was still wearin’ it. Trust me, you don’t want tha-” But Mr. Rich is cut off in surprise as your suit shrinks so hard and so fast that it squeezes you harder than any hug you ever had so far, while ripping into tiny pieces along your body.

“GNNnngH!” You nearly felt your entire body compress as your let out all the air from your lungs. Even as the tux imploded into shreds, you found yourself fallen over on your side, twitching in pain.

“E-erm… Never seen it shrink that fast before. Y-you ok there, son?” Mr. Rich was perplexed and stunned from such a showing. He didn’t know if it was a trick or if you were really hurt. Given your twitching, it was definitely the latter.

Goddammit! Fuck chaos and fuck your cutie mark right now. You know your life was full of happenings, but that was just a sucker punch. Not wanting to seem the wimp however, you just slowly stand up while catching your breath. “N-no, I’m fine… H-hero Colt, remember? N-nothing can keep me down.” Your tux imploded so fast, you actually felt like you still had no air as you breathed rapidly for a few more moments.

Mr. Rich has a small hearty chuckle to himself after believing you were alright. “Had me worried there, son. Shame about the tux though, would have looked really nice on the next photo op. Speaking of which, can you meet us all back in the main hall in about fifteen minutes, Anon? Wanna do a nice family shoot for the paper since we’re gonna be on the front page of most of em, eheh” Mr. Rich says with a boastful chuckle “Gives me plenty of time to calm the missus and for you to find out what’s going wrong with yer friend. She’s back in your changing room by the way, said something about investigating somethin’. Dunno what, since the wedding went better than we thought. But whatever it is, I’m sure you’ll be able to help her with that.”

Perfect, and yet not perfect. With that photo op, you’ll be able to spring the tickets on Diamond right after, deal with Discord coming to take One, Four, and Five, and then finally you’d be able to take on Twilight! After that? Hm, you’ll probably go ask if you could sleep with Fluttershy for the night. You were going to be a wreck after Twilight, and you needed the extra comfort. Especially since your body still felt rather crushed…

You gave a shaky salute to Mr. Rich. “N-no problem, had you worried there though, huh? Yeah, you know how it is, gotta be chaotic from time to time.”

“Ah! Hah! So it was another one of yer tricks, eh? Gotta admit, thinking about it now, it is mighty funny. Bet when you got little foals of your own, that you’ll get all kinds of laughs when you show that off. Ah, Anon, ya killin’ me with how proud I am of ya. A hero, an honest colt, and a great sense of humor. I know our legacy will be in good hooves with ya, and… Oh no…” Mr. Rich started to tear up.

Ah shit, he took that a little too well. “A-are you ok, Mr. Rich?”

“Uh, yeah, just a little somethin’ in my eye. Gonna get goin’, Anon, can’t dilly dally here much longer or else them reporters will get antsy. You take care now, and don’t forget to see us in the main hall, ya hear?” Mr. Rich, in truth, didn’t want to get too emotional at the moment. Normally, he wouldn’t mind, but with having to prepare for a photo for the papers, he couldn’t let himself falter when he still had to cheer up Mrs. Rich. Hell, you kind of wanted to know what was going through her head. Was she scared? Happy? Proud? Something really did pierce her heart this day. Sadly, you had to discard such thoughts for now and just talk to Starlight.

“I hear, erm... Dad. And good luck with, erm, Mom.” You say to him, doing your best to sound cheerful, but that backfires as it nearly causes him to burst into tears.

“T-thank you, son, t-that means a lot.” Mr. Rich said as he turned around to hide his crying face, walking off in a silent sob. “Called me Dad… and called her Mom… Keep it together, Filthy, you ain’t even old enough to keel over from this yet.”

You waited there for a moment until he was gone. And once he was, you collapsed on the floor, shaking. “O-of course the d-damn tux would be dry clean o-only, n-nghhhh…” Seriously, as tough as your head was, your body could still be damned fragile at times. Fuck whoever decided to make clothes that shrunk when they got fucking wet. It may have not been intended, but fuck them anyway!

After recovering from being crushed by your own clothes, you make your way back to your dressing room to confront Starlight, who no doubt had One hanging around her. Really, he was probably gonna be non issue anyway, but the way he just praises her constantly might feed into any bias and stance she may have already taken. Still, you convinced fucking Fluttershy, so Starlight shouldn’t be too bad, especially if she held up the honor of seeing you as an equal.

When you reach the door, you could already hear voices coming from the other side. Huh, it seemed to be the voices of Starlight and One. You wondered what they were talking about, to the point that a little eavesdropping probably wouldn’t hurt the situation since you needed an edge in the coming conversation with Starlight. So you slowly move your ear towards the door and listen in.

“We’ve investigated this room a thousand times, Commander. Please, relax, allow me to massage your aching muscles.” One said, concern in his voice.

“No! We have to be absolutely sure we understand what went on here. It was clear that the knife that hit the wall was intended for Anon, but the magical residue on the floor was from a shock that matches my magical signature. Then there’s the broken perfume bottles on the floor; Knowing Anon, he probably opened a portal right there. But then what happened after? Hmmm, do you really think the Anon on the altar was Chrysalis?” Starlight asked as she presumably looked over the scene.

“Had to be, the little dunce is incapable of such moving words. Unlike you, Commander, whose word can move hundreds.” One said, being the brown noser you noticed he seemed to be back when you first saw him.

“Please don’t say that about him, One. Anon is a lot of things, but he’s not a dunce, and he can be very inspiring when he wants to be. I believe that was him, which means we have to figure out where he went off to right after that, as well as what happened to Chrysalis.” Starlight said, her tone a little desperate and melancholic. Aww, she even thinks highly of you, even when you’re not in the room, that’s sweet. But then, what the fuck was One’s problem? Was that what Discord actually thought of you? Or was the clone that independent. Either way, you should make your move now since it seemed Starlight was truly worried about you.

You slowly let yourself in, and let out in a calm and low “Starlight? Hey, Mr. Rich said you’d be in here. What’s up?”

“Anon? Anon!” Starlight said in excitement as she rushed over to you to give you a warming hug “You’re alright! I was really worried about you!”

It really felt nice to see her happy, especially after all the glares she was giving you before. “Worried? Heh, nah, you know you don’t need to be worried about- wha huh?” You are caught a little off guard when Starlight is slowly pulled away by One’s magic. One himself giving you a nasty and suspicious stare as he does so.

“Watch out, Commander… That might be her.” One said in a low and aggressive tone.

“Ugh, Really? One, will you relax? That is Anon, who else could it be?” Starlight was annoyed by One’s accusation, she was pretty sure it was you. Sheesh, another reason Starlight was better than Twilight, she could actually tell you were you.

“Test him then, ask him something only the real Anon would know.” One challenged.

“Wow, geez. Way to be a real asshole. I don’t even think Discord can be that shitty. What, you can’t use your magic to tell I’m the real deal?” You were really getting tired of his shit. How could he not tell you were the genuine article?

“Watch it…” One raised a single talon at you “I’m not as magically capable as Discord, but for the sake and safety of the Commander, I will destroy you personally if you can’t prove who you are.”

Holy shit, this was a Discord clone? The guy was unusually obsessed with Starlight. And upon further inspection of him, parts of him were subtly faded. Was it affecting his mind? Huh, that must be it then. He really is obsessed with Starlight, to the point that he’ll defend her until his end. And his end seemed to be coming pretty soon. “Ok ok, relax. Look, I can prove it without a question. Starlight’s favorite past time is flying kites, and Trixie broke her coffee machine a few days ago with a botched teleport spell. That good enough? Hmm?”

“One, just stop, ok? It’s him, there’s no way Chrysalis would have known that information. What’s gotten into you?” Starlight turned to him, giving him a stern look.

“...Sorry, Commander. I’ll allow you to carry on the interrogation, I’ll simply… Observe.” One hung back, obviously displeased with what has gone on so far.

Starlight sighed, hoping things wouldn’t get any worse. “Sorry, Anon, he’s just been a little antsy lately. Don’t know why, but that's not important right now. So, what happened here anyway? Because if you’re here, and she’s not, then I’m going to take a guess that you won the fight with, hehe, my awesome Starlight Hook. You sent her straight into Tartarus, right? Because the theory we have is that she tried to stab you with that knife in a bid for vengeance.” Well, she wasn’t wrong on that last bit. Too bad she won’t be happy about the next bit.

“Uh, not exactly. More like I subdued her, we talked, and then I let her go. Before you react, Discord, Fluttershy, and Spike already know the story, and I plan to tell the princesses. But I also wanted to tell you too, since you’re my friend and I value your opinion… Plus I kinda need your help with something when I need it.” That probably wasn’t as smooth as it could be, but how else were you supposed to start this conversation?

“Oh no, Anon, Anon…” Starlight found herself plopping on her butt as she shook her head in concern. “Please tell me you’re not doing this again. Anon, she tried to end you, and you’re going to tell me you think you can still reform her? Anon, she doesn’t want to reform, and given this attack on you, I doubt she cares about you… So why?”

“Starlight, look, I admit, I was pretty obsessive about it before. I was so obsessive that I missed obvious cues and was ignorant to what was important. If I had to admit my biggest fault about it, it was not paying attention to her brood and realizing the truth about their situation. But that truth also applies to Chrysalis herself. I mean, how could her children change but not her? Hmm? Look, after she tried to kill me…” And so you explain to her what happened afterwards in full. From her worry about what Diamond thought of her to the fact she didn’t try to kill you and take your horn after stunning you with the line of the Starlight Hook. You also explain your plan, or at least, the plan you had in your head so far.

Starlight just sat there, silent. She just sat there until finally she shook her head. “Anon, this is all really hard to digest, and I can’t believe I’m going to say it, but it actually kind of hits home with me… If she’s telling the truth.”

Woah, seriously?! HAHA! God, and you thought this was gonna be tough. Like fuck, you’re just knocking em out one by one with no problem. You had to know what the reasoning was to this. “Really? So you’re ok with the plan? What do you mean it hits home with you?”

“I didn’t say I was ok… I’m just gonna need some time to think about it. But the reason why it hits home is because… Well, y’know… I was also a megalomaniac who kind of didn’t care about the truth as long it furthered my selfish ideology…” And as she said this, she started to rub at her leg nervously “And I was willing to… Maybe, destroy the entire timeline of Equestria just to ruin Twilight and her friends’ history and life as revenge for ruining my own? Yeeeah, and then you came along and uhh… Well, you know the rest. Let’s just say I can see where this is all coming from.”

Huh… That actually makes sense to you. Should you prod to see how much she’s on your side? Yeah, you should. “Starlight, heh, then… Erm, y’know. Do you see why I need help with this then? It’s definitely not an obsession thing, I just want to give her one last chance since she’s a friend of mine. We know it can happen, we just need to find a way.”

“Anon…” Starlight sighs “I just don’t know… Look, like I said, I need some time to think about it. But just so you know, I do want to be hopeful about it, but you lack a solid plan and you still don’t seem to know how to really make it happen. It doesn’t really help my decision, but if you come up with something solid… Mnnnn. Well, maybe I can talk to Twilight about it if she’s alright with it, see if I can help you figure something out. I mean, if all else fails, you could just pretend to be gone, spread the news, and see how she reacts. That’d work for sure, if it wasn’t for the fact that she seems like the type to go on a rampage the moment she finds out it’s a lie.”

Yeeeaahhh, as interesting as it’d be to see if that’d even work on Chrysalis, her finding out the truth would probably tick her off to no end. “Yeah, that’d probably happen. Well, thanks for not giving me an outright no. But you’re right, I need to think of something solid to go with pretty soon.”

“Yeah, you really do. Because, Anon, there really is no point in making a risk without a plan. And I will say this, if you even try something without thinking it through, I’ll put a stop to it myself, ok? I don’t want to sound harsh about it, but somepony has to be there to pull you out of your own mess.” Starlight said, cementing a point that she seemed only slightly more against you than with you. You really did need to come up with something solid, or else this plan just wouldn’t work out.

“I understand, thanks for hearing me out.” You say, content with her decision.

“No problem, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?” Starlight said with an optimistic grin.

Well, it seems things are still in your favor, just need to- OH SHIT! All of a sudden, you feel a magical energy grab your neck and slam you into the wall belly first, holding you in place as you choke and struggle. What in the?!

“Anon?! Anon! What’s going on?!” Starlight yelled out as she looked around the room to find out what had thrown you. An invisible creature perhaps? An earthquake?

No… It was Number One, holding his paw out towards you as he held you in place with his magic. “You little worm, I know what you’re trying to do. Convince the Commander to go along with your stupid plan? Put herself at risk for something that already failed? Well, I won’t let that happen as I tire of your nonsense…” Oh yeah, for some fucking reason, he was suddenly pissed as fuck.

“One?! What are you doing?! Let him down! NOW!” Starlight was already entering a battle position, ready to fight off the rebelling Discord clone. The fuck was his deal?!

“I will not, Commander. He doesn’t seem to understand what it is to serve under your will. In fact…” He snaps his talons, instantly trapping Starlight in chains and a gag “I think you’ll thank me for what I’m about to do. Those fools are so utterly content to fade away as a memory, but I will become eternal. Once I take Anon’s chaotic life essence, I will be able to serve you eternally, and make your will a reality!” He said, laughing an evil discordian laugh.

Holy fucking shit! Are you fucking kidding?! He’s fucking rebelling just to be forever beta to Starlight?! Well, actually, that would sound more insane to you if you didn’t realize many an MLP fan would probably kill you for that chance. Actually, wait, life essence?! OH FUCK, HE WAS GONNA KILL YOU?! Both you and Starlight struggled as he approached you, ready to rape your ass to hell.

“N-ngh, are you insane?! What’s your deal?!” You struggled to try to get your horn on your head, or at least use your Starlight Hook, which was still attached to your arm, but you just couldn’t budge from his magical grip.

“Eternity serving the Commander is my deal, and I will make it happen… By taking your essence by force.” One said in a horribly ominous way as he slipped on a surgical glove on his talons. OH FUCK, HE WAS LITERALLY GOING TO RAPE YOUR ASS TO HELL! NONONONONONO!

He was inching ever so closer, prepping his talons to pierce you in a way you swear would be worse than death. You had to think of something or else your ass was grass!

“Any last words, Anon?” One asks you, as his talons began to glow a sinister red. He looked at you with a dark and hungry gaze, ready to take what he felt was his.

SHIT! C’mon Anon! He’s a Discord clone, right? You could tell by his fading and cracking body that he was getting weaker. If you could just get your leg loose, you could zap him with the hook. But all you could do was speak, and that wasn’t gonna get you anywhere. It’s not like he’d just fall for… Oh wait, maybe he would fall for the trick everyone fucking falls for. “Uhhh, OH NO, BEHIND YOU! IT’S CHRYSALIS AGAIN!”

“Are you serious? It could be anything and I wouldn’t fall for that stupid trick. So much for Discord’s little prodigy. At least I will become a better Draconequus than him through you.” He says, unamused and undeterred by your simple trick.

SHIT! SHIT! You began to dart your eyes around. You needed something, anything. You then look to Starlight, who was still struggling in her bonds. This guy, he was obsessed with her. Would this work instead? “STARLIGHT?! STARLIGHT! YOU’RE NOT MOVING! OH GOD, THE CHAINS MUST HAVE CHOKED HER!”

“COMMANDER!” Number One said in fright as he dropped you from his magical hold to make sure Starlight was fine. She was, still struggling to get free from his bonds. “Oh… You’re fine. Ugh, don’t tell me I fell… Hmm, what’s this?” One said as he looked around his torso, you had already decided to fire the hook around him as soon as you were able.

“Ha! I knew that’d work! No matter who you are, you all always fall for the same dumb trick. As for this? Well, you’ll be in for quite a SHOCK!” Ok, you really had to stop with the puns. But whatever, you flick the switch, and send the magical electric surge through the line.

One just looks at you with a bored expression, raising an eyebrow as he began to do an unenthused clap. “Bravo, Anon, you once again made a bad move. But you were right, it was shocking. Shockingly foolish that you’d think this would work against me. Now then, give me your essence!” One raised his talons at you, preparing to steal your chaotic life force once more.

FUCKING HELL! THAT SHOULD HAVE WORKED! You just keep the line surging in a desperate attempt to finally hurt him as you try to come up with a plan. But alas, you hesitate too much as One’s talons shoot out claws directly towards… And through you. Wait, what? You looked at yourself after the flash of talons hit your eyes, yet you seemed fine. “I’m alive?”

“What?! How?! Ngh! Why isn’t this working!” One tried to fire off more of his draining magic at you, but it just wasn’t working. He then looked to himself as he realized he was falling apart at an alarming rate. “Oh no! I WAS tricked! This electricity! It’s of harmonic magic?! NO! NO! Was this your plan all along?!”

No, but let’s go with that. “You bet! Guess you didn’t know the details behind this beauty. Four and Starlight made it for me, since you were obviously too dumb to actually handle making anything. Did you forget who I was, bitch? I’m the goddamned Hero Colt!”

“Commander…” One turned to try to get some kind of help from Starlight, who she herself had found herself free thanks to his weakened form, and was now standing up to finally blast his ass herself. He didn’t notice, nor care, he just reached his paw out for her and cried for help. “Help me, Commander… I’m fading… Turn him to mush, and allow me to take his essence. Then I can make your dream come true… Pleeeasee…”

“Never. You were a good assistant, One, but you tried to hurt my friend, and for that, I’ll never forgive you!” Starlight sure was pissed, ready to deal the final blow with her magic.

“C-commannnddddeeeerrr!” One was weak, but still did his best to cry out to her. He reached for her as his body was becoming nothing but dust, his very form becoming translucent as he began to fade away.

Starlight wasted no time, the moment he got point blank, she fired a bolt of magic right at him, or rather, through him. Yes, it seems he was so far gone that her shot passed right through him and right into your face, sending you flying backwards, headfirst, into a wall. Starlight, upon realizing what she had done, gasped and sat as she put her hooves to her mouth in shock.

One merely chuckled, as he took that as the only good thing he was able to witness during his vanishing act. “Nice shot, Commander…” was his final words as he finally disappeared, the wire’s shocking effect coming to a halt due to the switch being clicked upon your fall back to the floor.

“Anon!” Starlight rushed over to you, kneeling down to make sure you were alright. “Are you hurt?! Do you need to go to the hospital?! Oh gosh! Anon! I’m so so sorry, I didn’t think that’d miss!”

You just groan, look to her, and give her a weak smile. “Nah, I’m used to being tossed, smacked, and blasted at this point. I’m good.” Ogh, not really. While your head was fine, you still felt the impact through your body. It ached, but you were sure you’d be ok.

“Anon…” Starlight gently ran her hoof through your mane as she gave a weak giggle “You’re not invincible y’know. I… I really am sorry, I really didn’t mean to hit you like that. Are you sure you’ll be ok?” She started to tear up, she really felt guilty over blasting you with her magic like that.

“C’mon, Starlight, don’t cry. I’ll be ok. You always get like this whenever I am the least bit hurt, I’m not a little kid y’know… Technically.” You say, in a silly way to reassure her.

“Right… Right… Ok then.” Starlight was taking long breaths now as she tried to get ahold of the situation “That almost happened. But why? You don’t think Four and Five are going to turn like that, right?”

“I doubt it, they seemed a lot more accepting of their fate than One did. But sheesh, I actually beat the guy… Heh…” As you laid there on the ground, you decided to give Starlight a cocky grin “Pretty genius way of beating him, right?” You felt it was a great opportunity to show her how capable you really were, even if you didn’t actually figure it’d be her unicorn magic, tied to harmony, which would cripple One.

“Yeah, I guess you, erm, really do know how to take care of yourself in a fight. Good job, Anon.” Starlight said cheerily, feeling you deserved such a compliment.

But just then, a booming voice enters the room in heroic fashion. “Fillies and gentlecolts, do not fear! For Captain Wuz is here!” Discord, the original for sure, pops into the room in a flash. He was donned in his green tunic and long platinum hair, bow drawn to shoot at whatever the fuck he was gonna shoot at “Point that pesky clone my way so I can… Oh wait…” Discord then immediately pops into his normal self as he begins to wonder what’s going on. After looking around the room, he finally comes to his conclusion “He’s already gone. So he was already defeated then? Bravo, Anon, good work.”

“Yeah, he was no match for my-wait.” He was here to slay One? Why would he be here to slay One? What the fuck did he mean by ‘so he was already defeated then?’. Did he…? GODDAMMIT! “DID YOU KNOW HE WAS GONNA DO THAT?!” You shouted, finding yourself standing up with renewed vigor.

“Of course I did, it should have been fairly obvious he was going to do such a thing. I was just waiting for him to actually do it so I could come in and save the day. And… Hmmm, you both seem rather upset about that.” Discord said, confused as to why you and Starlight suddenly looked pissed.

“HE COULD HAVE KILLED ME! HE WAS ABOUT TO KILL ME! AND YOU KNEW?! HOLY SHIT DISCORD, YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!” You yelled at the top of your lungs, hopping upwards with the sheer force of your own anger.

“Ohhh, tch tch.” Discord waggled his talons at you authoritatively “Such language, especially in front of your friend.”

“No, he’s right, Discord, you’re an asshole” Starlight said, looking at him with near pure agitation and discontent. She agreed with you, one hundred percent.

“Ugh…” Discord said as his eyes narrowed, his body slumping ever so slowly “I see how it is. Well, if I can say something in my defense…” Discord points over to Starlight “This whole mess is actually her fault.”

“MY FAULT?! WHAT?!” Starlight stepped back in surprise, her anger rising at such an accusation “AND HOW THE FUCK IS IT MY FAULT!?”

“Ew… Now Anon has got her doing it.” Discord said to himself before suddenly lightening up with a shrug, his tone changing to that of a calm and accusatory form. “Because you’re the one who wanted him to be utterly subservient to you. How could you not realize he was going to do anything and everything in his power to serve you for as long as you live? I didn’t want to make him that way, but you were so insistent on it. If I hadn’t made him that way, I would have just wasted more time than I already was due to your whining. Really, she’s the culprit, not me.”

Starlight’s eye twitched due to confusion for a moment, but then she looked at him, dead in the eyes, and made her case. “You did NOT tell me it would have made him attack Anon. I didn’t even ask for him to be subservient! I said to make him loyal, to make him listen to me, and to make sure he does everything I… Oh wait…” Starlight calmed down for a moment when she realized her mistake. But then pointed at Discord again as she realized her first claim still applied. “Ok, so I did ask for that! But you still didn’t tell me he was going to go crazy! That’s your fault, Discord! You should have said something. No, you should have just gotten rid of him altogether! He attacked Anon, one of your best friends, and yet you don’t even seem to care! How could you be so heartless?!”

“Heartless?” Discord opened up his chest like a door, revealing a creepy looking beating heart. “Doesn’t look like it to me” He says with a grin as he closes it up, then points over to you “Look, like I said, I was going to save Anon before he actually did the deed. But Anon himself defeated him before I could show up. To be honest, I think that deserves praise! Beating even one one millionth of my power is quite a feat. So again, bravo!” Discord said, clapping towards you.

But you just groaned and rolled your eyes, you really didn’t care for his shenanigans. “Goddammit, Discord, I don’t want your praise. Just fucking admit you fucked up. That’s the second time today I nearly fucking died and you’re acting like you don’t even care. What if I did actually die, what then? Huh? Starlight is right, you didn’t tell her what was going to happen, so it's your fucking fault.”

Discord did shudder when you mentioned that you could have died, then did his best to reel himself back from the horrid thought. “It wouldn’t have happened, only a pessimist would think that it would. And… Wait, where are you going?” Discord asked, surprised that you were suddenly opening the door to leave the room.

“Had enough of your shit, going to go to a photo shoot with the Riches.” You really did. If he acted just the least bit caring, you may have let it slide. But this? You didn’t have time for this shit.

“A photo shoot? Without me? Well hold o-hmm?" Discord looked back to see his tail being held by Starlight’s magic “Excuse me? What are you doing?”

“I’m getting your attention. Leave Anon be, you’ve done enough, and you’d only make it worse at this point if you go after him.” Starlight tells him, warning him even.

“Oh please.” Discord scoffs “Anon is practically my son, he loves me! Tell her, Anon.”

You sigh, and look back at him with a somber expression “I dunno… At this point, Mr. Rich is more my Dad than you are, at least he respects me and wouldn’t even let me come close to dying if he could help it.”

“There see? I told-wait…” Discord double taked, and looked back at you, confused “What?”

“You heard me, I’m not going to repeat myself. Just go deal with Scootaloo and stuff, Discord. Let me just go do my thing and… I dunno, whatever… Starlight, you take care, ok?” You say, looking back at her to give her a weak smile.

“Anon, are you going to… HE-” Was all Starlight could say before Discord snapped her away.

The hell?! “What the fuck?! The hell was that for, Discord?! What did you do with her?!”

“I put her back in that fake magician’s wagon. Although, I could have done a lot worse. You, Anon, how could you say such a thing to me? After all I’ve done for you, why?” Discord was angry alright. He was hurt, sure, but it only served to piss him off it seemed.

“Oh fuck off with that!” You yell back at him as you stomp up towards him “You may have given me a bunch of cool things, Discord, but that doesn’t fucking mean you could put my life at risk whenever you damn well please! Goddammit! He was this close, Discord, this close! And he was created by you! Worst of all, you fucking KNEW! So get off your high horse and leave me the fuck alone! You’re a shitty dad, friend, and chaos buddy! In fact!” You throw off your saddle bag and your horn towards him, only keeping the Starlight Hook as it had nothing to do with him. “Take your shit back, and take my fucking room, I’m gonna go live with Fluttershy!” You’ve taken so much from Discord. His abuse, his dishonesty, him just being mean or an asshole to you, and this? He knew, and he let it happen just so he could play hero. Fuck him!

Discord began to literally crack along his body, shivering as he looked down at the toss items. He looked emotionally and physically devastated by your words and actions. “Anon… Y-you don’t mean that, do you? How could you say that? Chrysalis tried to end you directly, didn’t she? So why her over me? I was just doing what I always do, I really wasn’t going to let you get hurt by my own paw… You know that, right?”

“I don’t fucking care. She was racked with grief, and you were just being an asshole. I’m done with it all, Discord, you can just go and-NGH?!” You were caught offguard when Discord dived to your forelegs and started crying, holding on to them as he begged and pleaded

“W-wait! I’m sorry! Don’t go hating me just because of this! Don’t end our friendship and partnership over such a foul up! I really am sorry! I congratulated you too, didn’t I? I really meant that! And… ngh, I can’t take the thought of losing you. Even worse… Fluttershy would find out… I’d be alone… Don’t leave me alone, Anon… I don’t wish to be alone… I don’t even think Spike and Big Mac would want to be friends with me if they found out… So please...” He cried, sounding so fucking pathetic to the point that you had to roll your eyes. Christ…

“Ugh, sheesh, ok ok… God.“ You pull yourself back from him. You’d still think he was bullshitting if it wasn’t for the fact he wouldn’t fuck around or joke when it came to Fluttershy. Ugh, he could be such a pain in the ass, but you couldn’t destroy him over this either, you didn’t like the thought of him being abandoned just because he was an ass. But you also weren’t going to bend either, and wanted to lay down the law right here. “Fine, I forgive you, I’ll take my stuff back, and I won’t move in with Fluttershy. But you can’t put my life at risk over a joke ever again, or else we’re done, Discord, you got it?”

“Y-yes, I swear, scout’s honor.” Discord said as he slowly stood up, doing a scout symbol with the digits of his talons, donning a boy scout outfit as he did so.

“You better. Now the next thing. I’m going to be gone for a few days, and I don’t want to hear shit about it, alright? You got that?” You tell him, staring at him hard as you do so, because you knew there was something he wanted that you simply didn’t want to do.

“W-what? What about our O&O session for tonight?” Discord said. Still visibly shaken, but easily slipping back to his selfish attitude.

You just roll your eyes at him “You know I don’t like that game. Besides, Big Mac isn’t even in town right now, it wouldn’t be very fun with just me, you, and Spike. Even then, I need some time to cool down from this. Stop being selfish, Discord, don’t make me hate you.”

“Yes… Right, well… Ahrm. I just thought maybe you’d have more fun with us than whatever you’d be doing. Besides, maybe your future wife would like to play with us as well? Surely you’d have more fun if you had her by your side, correct?” Discord said, giving you pleading eyes. Perhaps he just didn’t want you to go, perhaps he just wanted you close by so he could be sure you wouldn't leave to stew in whatever hatred you had for him, but acting this way certainly wasn’t helping things. “Besides… I’d like a little help with dealing with the last two clones. I feel emotions may run high there, and I’m not equipped at the moment to deal with it.”

“I can help you with Scootaloo, I’m ok with that. But my trip is kind of like a date with Diamond, and I’m hoping the resort we’re going to will be fun enough. Either way, you’re reaching Discord. Hell, what makes you think she’d want to play anyway? You know girls aren’t into that kind of thing.” Come on, Discord, just lay off.

“Maybe, but how can you be so sure? Have you asked her? Also, you only dislike the game because of your bad luck. If you keep at it, you’d find that it’s much more fun than you think. Yes, it's a fantasy world within the fantasy world you wanted, but it’s a lot more exciting, don’t you think?” Discord really was pushing it, as if he hadn’t learned anything at all.

You were about to pop off at him, once again getting sick of his shit. But then something hit you, something that could and would play out to your favor. Discord only really had one actual language to him, and if he didn’t understand personal space to well, then he’d understand something he couldn’t refuse. Something you’d just take full advantage of for your own benefit. “You’re that sure, huh? Then how about we make a bet…”

“A bet? How unusual of you, especially at a moment like this. So I take it you aren't mad at me anymore?” Discord asked, wanting to make sure he was in the clear.

“I’m still kind of mad, but I’ll get over it. Anyway, if you really want to make it up to me, then you’ll hear me out.” Surely he’ll take it, that should be enough bait.

“I’m listening” Discord said, crossing his arms as he awaited your terms.

“You want me to play O&O? Fine, I’ll do it… If you can somehow convince Diamond to play with us rather than going to a romantic date with yours truly. If you can, I’ll play without complaint.” Just wait for it, Anon, reel him in.

“Sounds somewhat doable. But I must ask, what happens if I lose?” Discord wonders.

“Easy, I get a whole day of unlimited charges. Sure the bet sounds a little stacked in my favor, but you do really want to have that game tonight, right?” Take it, Discord. Take it and lose. If he really was going to use you to enact his own fun, then you’d do the same to him.

“I do, and that bet is TOO stacked in your favor. So how about this? Just agree to come with little Diamond Tiara tonight and I’ll give you three days of unlimited charge. Deal?” Discord says as his expression forms a small grin. He reaches out his paw to you to await a hoofshake of sorts.

WUT?! WAS HE SERIOUS?! “Woah, woah, woah! Wait! Are you seriously saying you’re gonna give me three days of unlimited power for just one night of O&O? What happened to being responsible with so much power? What happened to limiting me so I don’t go off the hook? Seriously? Three days? Huh, I could do a lot with three days…” Really, you could. One day for fun, another to spy on Twilight’s school, and the last to get the drop on Chrysalis and… Hmm… Even visit Tempest, it’s been awhile since you’ve seen her, she might appreciate you dropping by. Still, why would Discord make it three? “Wait, so what’s the real catch to this?”

“That was the real catch. You should know why I’m offering so much to you for so little, Anon. I’m doing it to sate my own selfish nature while also offering you a peace offering for my egregious foul up. So, saying that, I’d like to believe that should you accept this deal, that we are square. So… Are we square, Anon?” Discord continues to hold his paw out, awaiting your hoof.

Fuck it, you can overlook this if it meant being an all powerful god for three days. You reach your hoof to his paw and give it a shake “We’re square, I can deal with one night.”

“Good…” Discord said with a relieved sigh “Good. Now, this whole clone business. Ugh, Yes, hrmm…” Discord eyed around the area, then looked to you for an answer he wanted to hear “Do I really, REALLY, need to be her friend? It’s so sudden, so contrived… It’s not like I’ve been the one having fun with her. Yes, a part of me has, but not me me. Anon, you used to be human, how exactly do I get out of this?”

Well, truthfully, he really didn’t need to. It was only Fluttershy who was pushing him to expand his friend pool. “You really don’t have to. I mean, you should be really nice over the fact you’re about to make her new friends disappear forever, but you don’t actually have to be her friend. Yeah, you’ll have those memories, but they shouldn’t influence who you are or what you want.”

“How profound, any reason why you’d actually tell me that so freely, and without guilt of going against Fluttershy’s want for me to make a friend?” Discord asked, curious as to why you’d actually tell him such a thing.

“I dunno, I just can’t see you handling too many friends at once, especially with the way you are.” You comment, knowing how Discord could be when he acts the asshole. “I don’t think she could handle you being rude or mean either. And I don’t think you could handle being put in your place after you do something wrong to her.” And for you, maybe you were still being protective of Scootaloo and perhaps even Discord in this way. They weren’t really compatible together, that you were sure of.

“Hmph, put in my place indeed.” Discord scoffed “While I do have bad moments, it’s nothing worth such a harsh evaluation. But very well, I will consider your advice. Still… It might not be that bad if she did become my friend…” Discord’s words trailed off there as he thought to himself. Balancing the pros and cons of having another friend, another pony to play O&O with, and perhaps someone even innocent enough to have fun with his totally not childish but still whimsical little tricks.

“What was that?” You asked, as he seemed to be talking to himself.

“Nothing, nothing, let’s just get this over with. Just try to follow along, Anon, as being ‘nice’ about it pertains to you as well. We all know that you can be quite insensitive yourself.” Discord said as he prepped himself up a little, cracking the bones on his arms as if getting himself ready physically as he was mentally.

“Nah, I’m not insensitive, I just miss the mark a couple of times, that’s all.” You say, feeling yourself right.

“Whatever you say, o high and mighty one.” Discord says while doing a polite yet condescending bow.

“Ergh… Whatever, let’s just do this thing already.” Those words, god you really hated those words.

You and Discord made your way to the janitor’s door. Upon opening it however, you both were greeted with some sort of dodgeball court. You could see Spike sitting on a chair, presumably as a judge, as Four and Scootaloo sat down in blue jerseys, cheering Babs on, as Sweetie and Apple Bloom sat at the other side of the room with green jerseys, cheering on Five. What was going on on the court itself was Babs and Five hurling dodgeballs at each other, the balls just appearing at their paws and hooves immediately, to be thrown at one another. Was this some sort of Blitz Dodgeball or something? It actually seemed kind of rad.

“Well, this should be easy, Scoots and Four are already alone. Let’s go say hi, and not make the clones disappear until after the game. Sound like a plan?” You tell Discord.

“I’m not a baby, Anon, I do know what manners are… Now go break the ice for me, will you?” Discord says as he detaches his paw to have it fling you forward to their bench, making you roll right onto it, albeit in a way that had you sitting on your belly, an uncomfortable position indeed.

“U-ughhhh…” You groan, feeling rather dizzy after that push.

“Anon?” Scootaloo notices you are suddenly at her side, and greets you while finding your sitting position odd. “Heya… Uh, why are you laying on the bench like that? Doesn’t that hurt your stomach?”

“...Yeah, ugh…” You slowly reposition yourself to sit on the bench on all fours, then take a deep breath to bring this whole thing to a close. “There we go. So yeah, hey! What’s up? What’s going on over there?”

“It’s cool, isn’t it? It was partly my idea actually! I wanted to play a quick game with everypony before Four and Five had to go. Everypony was cool with it, and Spike even suggested a quick game of dodgeball would probably work. But then I was like ‘Four and Five have powers, right? Let’s make it super cool by just having unlimited dodgeballs to throw at each other!’. And well, it turned into this. I didn’t know Five and Babs would go on this long though, they’re both really good at this!” Scootaloo said, at the edge of her seat at the excitement of Babs’s and Five’s movements. “They’re both really giving it their all. It’s exciting, right?”

“Yeah, it is. But uh, I’m actually here to tell you that Discord is here to come take Four and Five. But he’s willing to wait until the game is over before he does it. Um, I mean... “ Fuck, you really had no idea how to actually soften that blow. How do you sugarcoat the fact that new friends have to stop existing forever?

“Ngh…” Scootaloo turned her head back and saw that Discord was just standing by the door. He gave her an awkward smile and a wave, which just made her look forward in dread and despair. “It’s that time already? But c’mon, it’s not even the end of the day yet, can’t he wait just a little bit more?” End of the day? She sounded ready for after the game, but apparently not.

“I’m afraid that’s not how it works…” Four said suddenly, chiming into the conversation. Then again, he was right next to Scootaloo, how could he not hear you both? “As I have explained, we can’t exist forever”

“But why? Can’t Discord just pump you and Five with more magic? That’d keep you both going, right?” Scootaloo said as she looked back at Four, clearly upset that they were now at the precipice of their existence.

Four slowly shakes his head “He could, but it would not end well. We are merely his shadows, representative of his whims, mixed with some of the randomness chaos brings. Adding in more chaos magic would bend us to his current whim, with a roll of the dice causing us to change into something else entirely. Unless Discord was to give up his own life essence, it just wouldn’t work out, something Five and I already accepted.” Four reaches over and begins to pet Scootaloo very gently on the head “If it does make you feel better, Five and I really have enjoyed our time existing.” He then looks over to Discord with a chuckle “Maybe it’ll help our dear originator have a little more appreciation for others.”

“Let’s not get sassy now. While I am allowing this goodbye, I’m still not sure if I am willing to be friends with her.” Discord replies.

“Whatever, I don’t want to be your friend either.” Scootaloo said as she got a teary eyed, knowing it really would be over soon. “Sure, you’ll have their memories, but you’re still a jerk. It’s like, sometimes you’re cool, but then you’d rather be a jerk than just be nice. I really don’t get it.”

“Hmm…” Discord stopped for a moment, and pondered on her words, seemingly curious about something. “Even now, everypony is still befuddled by such a revelation. I do what I do because that’s what I enjoy doing, but that doesn’t actually make me a jerk. But everypony just tends to think that anyway, even when I don’t do anything to them. Then again, simple children tend to think everything but themselves are wrong. Not my fault you decided to befriend a temporary being you KNEW wouldn’t exist forever.”

Scootaloo’s nostrils flared up for a moment in anger. She just looked up at Discord, frustrated with him, and just blurts. “Well, it was kind of hard when they turned out to be awesome. Maybe you should just stop existing by giving them your essence. Because everypony likes them better than they like you!”

“Oh dear…” Four said, looking troubled by Scootaloo’s words “Now now, let’s not go that far. He has his issues, but he truly isn’t that bad.”

Oh lordy, this was already turning hostile. “Scoots, hey, relax. That’s kind of messed up.”

“How is it messed up? Four and Five aren’t jerks, but he is! He doesn’t even care he’s going to just end them, just like that!” Scootaloo’s emotions ran high as she spoke, she really didn't like the idea of two beings she saw as wholesome just disappearing and returning to someone like Discord. “What he’s doing is messed up!”

Oof, she’s… Sorta not wrong. But he’s made so many clones before, and you were sure that Discord thought he was sure that something like this wasn’t going to happen. But asking for him to sacrifice himself like that was fucked up either way. “Scoots, look. Four and Five know they have to go, they are only magical constructs. Dad though, he’s an actual living being, with his own friends and life. You knew Four and Five weren’t going to be around for too long, but you got really attached anyway, and I can understand that. But think about it, if Dad ended himself, then what about those who care about him? Aunt Fluttershy, Spike, Big Mac, Me, Diamond… And uhh, well… Just think of how painful it’d be for us to have lost him after knowing him for so long. Heck, I wouldn’t be here without him. I know it isn’t fair, but you gotta accept it, that’s how it is.” Wow, that really just came out of you. Then again, you have had these moments before. It’s not like you don’t have SOME wisdom from your past life, along with your experiences in Equestria.

“He’s right, Young Scootaloo. I know it’s hard, but it simply must be accepted.” He gently hoists her up, and begins to give her a gentle hug. “What’s important here, is your memory of us. As short as our time was, it really is something to be valued. Some part of us will still exist within his memory as well, so we’ll never truly be gone, and we’ll remember you too. So no more tears, alright? Everything will be ok, I promise.”

Discord seemed rather stunned from both your words and Four’s, even more so by Scootaloo’s nuzzling and sobbing onto Four’s chest, it seemed to be getting to him. Perhaps, it was finally sinking into his head how delicate the situation actually was, because he looked like he was having a heel turn moment as he began to speak in a gentle tone. “Hmm… Well, that is true… I suppose. And given how important these memories seem, I wouldn’t just cast them aside. Yes, I may not be as perfect as you see them, but I am capable of being nice. As in, I could take in their memories and… Perhaps share my time with you in a fashion best representing them. I know it’s not a perfect replacement, but knowing now how deeply this is affecting you, and thinking about how my friends would react if the places would switch… Well, I suppose what I’m saying is that perhaps I wouldn’t mind sharing a friendship and being… Oh what’s a word to use to not make me seem too pathetic? Well, I’ll do my best not to make you upset. But I do expect it to be between us, having your friends as tagalongs would just cramp my chaotic mojo. Does that sound reasonable?” He really was affected by Scootaloo’s words and reactions. Even he understood how heavy things can be, he himself could have his soul crushed in an instant if someone he cared about that much just suddenly hated him.

“See? He really isn’t so bad. Here, give him a chance, and you’ll see that everything will be alright.” Four says as he gently places Scootaloo down, and gives her another gentle pat.

Scootaloo looks up at Discord, still teary eyed, but a little more willing to open her heart after hearing such words. She didn’t realize Discord could be so profound in the ways of caring and friendship. “I’m sorry, I… I didn’t mean to say anything mean like that, I was just, y’know. I mean, I still don’t know if I want to be friends, you’re still not 'them' even if they came from you. But I don’t wanna hate you either. Everypony is right, you are awesome too when you wanna be, and Anon is, like, my partner of hero stuff; so it’d be kind of dumb to just think you’re a really bad guy considering he’s here because of you. How about we just be nice and friendly to each other and see how it goes… And… Is there anyway for Four and Five to stay for just a little bit longer? Please?”

Discord sighed a heavy sigh, and turned his head towards the game. “I could just leave them to disappear naturally. Given they are still surrounding themselves in some chaos, such as this game you’re all playing, they should last a little longer. We’d both win, to be honest. You get your final moments, and I don’t have to be here to pick up the pieces, everypony wins. Besides, I have some important business with Anon anyway. Photo ops and deals to make, you know how it-Huh?!” Discord is stunned when Scootaloo suddenly jumps into him, giving him a warm hug.

“Thanks, Discord! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Umm… Erm…” Scootaloo, realizing she was hugging someone she just condemned just a moment ago, backs off and looks away with a nervous smile. “Sorry… Erm, you’re cool, t-that’s all I wanted to say. I wouldn’t mind hanging out when I’m free. Just ask, ok?”

“I’ll… Keep that in mind, there is a game we all like to get together to play, so… Well, we’ll see.” Discord sniffs, an obvious sign he was feeling just a little overwhelmed by all this. “Anywaaaay, Anon, come along, we have to go and get our faces in the newspaper.”

“Yeah, alright. Scoots, you gonna be ok?” You ask, wanting to make sure she’d be fine before you go.

“Yeah, I’ll be ok. I-I just got a little overemotional, that’s all. But hey, everything is gonna be fine, right? I mean, look at you, you’re alright. Heh, I really thought something was gonna go wrong with you today, but everything turned out to be ok. So, if you’re gonna be ok, then I know I definitely will. So don’t worry about me, ok?” Scootaloo says

“Right, heh, totally… I know it'll be ok” You tell her, really hoping things would be fine. Yeeeeeah, totally had an ok day so far. She essentially managed to call what was going to happen to you within three guesses, so you hoped she was going to be as alright as she thought she’d be. “Take care, Scoots. And you too, Four, and thanks for the hook.”

“It was a pleasure to work with Starlight to make it. Fare thee well, Anon, I hope your day proves to be a good one the whole way through.” Four says with a gentle grin, very uncharacteristic for his appearance, but heartwarming nonetheless.

With that, Discord hurried you along back out of the janitor’s closet. He was relieved to be out of there. Truly, he did actually begin to care about Scootaloo, but he still didn’t want to go all in about it. But he did seem genuinely content with his decision to let Four and Five exist until their eventual end just to make Scootaloo happy. You knew deep inside that he cared, he was just not willing to just fully embrace it.

“Well, not the best way it could have been handled, but it worked out pretty good.” Really, it wasn’t all that bad.

“Speak for yourself, I actually started to feel BAD about everything. I don’t need that kind of disaster on my already volatile conscious. As long as she’s content, I’ll be able to look away with this with nary any guilt. In anycase, we have a photo op to get to, don’t we?” Discord dons a suit similar to Filthy’s, and adjusts it like some rich country man “If it’s one thing I really love, is looking better than anypony else.”

“Yeah. Ugh, then after that, I gotta convince Diamond to show up tonight… And then go deal with Twilight. Argh, this whole thing is going to be difficult. I know Celestia might be an issue, but she did give me her blessing to reform Chrysalis. The only problem is the fact that Chrysalis is still holding on to that banner of evil. Even with her blessing, I’m sure Celestia is gonna be hesitant as hell to actually allow it. Y’know how it is… Saying something is a lot different from actually doing something… Or allowing it, in this case.”

“Heh, not like you have to mention the whole ‘ending you’ thing, you should keep that to yourself. As for Twilight, didn’t she also make some sort of deal or promise about that? I remember you mentioning it before after that whole ‘Pony of Shadows’ incident. Something about a promise she made to you back when ole Chryssy was around, or when she left.. Something like that” Discord’s grin started to become a little evil as he spoke “You could use that as ammo, Anon.” Discord cocks back a talon, and fires a purple bullet right into a target with Twilight’s face, of course, making it appear out of nowhere “She is the Princess of Friendship. It’d be unseemly to just break a promise, don’t you think?”

Your ears perked up when he said that. Holy hell, you forgot about that! Of course you would, it was quite some time ago when she said such a thing. A mischievous little grin started to form on your face when you realized Twilight had no choice but to listen, or so you thought anyway. “Damn, Discord, and here I thought you were a total asshole the whole way through. Fuck, my plan might actually work after all! Thanks for reminding me.”

“Ahh, you always doubt me, forgetting that I always come through when it counts. Now, since I was a help, I do expect you and your little love to show up at Twilight’s castle tonight.” Discord chuckles to himself at the thought “Can’t wait to, perhaps, check on our princess before the game… See if she’s alright”

“Fine with me, I’ll make sure it happens. Anyway…” You run your hoof through your mane, to make it cute and messy “Let’s do this”

Both you and Discord made your way back to the main hall, ready for what awaited the both of you. In your mind, you were prepping yourself for a talk with Diamond. You decided you’d tell her, for sure, what transpired today, as well as convince her to come to Twilight’s castle tonight for a game of O&O. When you both finally reached the main hall, The Riches were already there getting ready for the picture, Silver Spoon hanging back to let them do it. Filthy, of course, was stalling for time until you arrived, boasting to the cameraponies and reporters about this and that.

“...And of course, besides donating the colosseum for our dear Princesses’s school, I’d also like to mention, that given today is right special, that we’ll be having a special thirty percent discount for the next four hours down at Barnyard Bargains. Yessiree, it may cut down on profits some, but I feel everypony in town should have a sense of them good feelings we all shared here today and… Ah, and will you look at how right lucky we are right now. Not only has Mr. Anon arrived to join us, but he brought his father too. Let me tell you, despite the oddity of it all, I see them both as official family members. Come over here you two, and let’s get some pictures. Oh, and might I say, you are looking rather sharp today, Mr. Discord.” Man, Filthy was really hamming it up here. But you couldn’t say he was faking it, he was pretty genuine with his words.

“I do declare” Discord says as he straightens his vest, changing his tone to a southern flair “I will have to say the same thing about you, Mr. Rich. And may I say to our fine journalistic folk that it is a real honor to have witnessed the preliminary wedding of my future stepdaughter and my wonderful boy here. Indeed, I’d like to remind everypony here that you’d all have been doomed had I not adopted this fine colt. Who knows what would have happened with all that nasty business with the Storm King if I didn’t have such foresight, am I right?” Goddammit Discord… Just wanted all the glory for himself. Trying to make sure his 'foresight' gets in the fucking paper just to bolster his own ego for something he wasn’t even there for.

The reporters and cameraponies didn’t look too moved by his words, nor did they look like they were denying it too much. Really, it was your glory, but it looked like they didn’t want to argue with a being that could turn them inside out on a whim.

Mr. Rich began to reposition the group for a better picture. He had you next to Diamond at the front, just standing about two feet away from her for symmetry. She was already nearly shaking with excitement for just being near you. Mrs. Rich stood next to her husband, with Discord standing on the other side of Mr. Rich, putting on his best dignified post. Before everyone was ready, Mr. Rich just leaned over enough to whisper “How’s the chest, son? Can’t imagine your tux shrinking on you felt like drinking fresh apple cider.”

Awww, was he really worried about that? “Yeah, I’m alright, no worries here. Barely felt it. But thanks for asking, Mr. Rich.”

“No trouble, son, just making sure you’re ok. Now let’s put on a smile and make this look good.” Filthy said as he positioned himself for the picture, giving out a nice bright and honest smile.

Hell, the picture taking went really well. A couple of pictures, more questions for Filthy, as well as you and even Discord, and finally, The Riches and Discord himself let you and Diamond walk out of Town Hall to enjoy the rest of the day together, even Silver Spoon giving her blessing to the both of you as she decides to not accompany you both, not wanting to be a third wheel.

So you were finally outside after that entire mess, and man did the air feel good, especially with a cute filly cuddling on your side. Still, you had some heavy things on your mind. You were thinking of telling Diamond about Chrysalis showing up… Or hell, you should tell her. Given you’d want to see if she would want to go to a resort over you ‘wanting’ to stay for a game of O&O, you’d also need to see how serious she truly was about being your partner by seeing how she reacts to this information, although you’ll leave out the whole ‘try to murder you’ thing.

“Anon, wasn’t that all so dreamy? Hmm? Would you say that was the best wedding ever?” Diamond ask, fawning over you like you were a rock star.

“Yeah, it was, if I do say so myself” You say, only wanting to make her happy.

“What? No!” Diamond gives you a gentle whap on the head, then gives you a snooty look as she raises her head “It was an imperfect wedding. So it can’t be the best, you should know that.”

“Oh, well. Considering that was my first pony wedding, I have nothing else to compare it to.” Ok, Anon, time to make a recovery, just sound suave. “Except when we have our real wedding, which will be the best wedding in any universe.” You say as you give her dreamy bedroomy gaze.

“O-oh…” Diamond blushes, looking at with with a bashful, yet emotionally taken face “I-I suppose that’s right, c-considering who you are. And uhm…” She gives her head a shake to recover her senses, then gives a stoic stare as she nods “Also true, our real wedding will totally be the best ever.”

You chuckle at that, she was being rather adorable. Man, if only you both were a little older… Bah, get that out of your head, Anon, it’s time to get to business. “Yep, the super best. But uh, I kinda wanted to have a practice honeymoon with you an-woah!” You are suddenly stopped as Diamond brings her nose to yours, squeeing in excitement.

“Really?! Even though you didn’t need to! Ohhhhh, very scandalous. I see, keep it a secret so we don’t get followed around by the press. I like it! So, where are we going?!” She said, trying her best to contain her excitement.

“Oh, well, it was a resort over at Las Pegasus, but…” You reach into your saddlebag, and pull out the tickets, holding it over to her for her to have a look. “Look who owns the place.”

“Hmmm?” Diamond takes the golden looking tickets, and has herself a closer look. And almost instantly, she had a look of pure disdain and disgust on her face as she noticed the brothers faces printed on the ticket. “Oh, those two hacks. Hmph, after all the scams they’ve tried to pull in the past, we’d have to be total morons to go to their resort. In fact, I can probably get Mother to get your money back and maybe even get the place closed down. There’s no way they aren’t doing anything shifty in there. there's totally something we can get them with.”

Wew, so far so good, seems she did care over the fact it was the Flim Flam brothers’ resort as it seemed she still had some ill will towards them. And could you blame her? These guys would take over Equestria if they had the chance, quite literally too. “Yeah well, truthfully? It was your mom who got the tickets, for free too, so it’s not like we’re obligated to go or anything. So yeah, I wasn’t too keen on going either when I found out they owned the resort. But I do have a solution. See, sometimes me and Dad and a few friends do this thing every night…” And you then go on to explain some of Ogres and Oubliettes to Diamond, and how it’s done in your sessions. From heroic adventuring as anyone you wish, to treasure hunting and saving entire lands, to even getting to be the hero you imagine yourself to be, the whole shebang.

“So, it’s like when we went into Miss Cheerilee’s chalkboard? But an actual adventure?” Diamond asks.

“Sorta, yeah. It’s like the best game of pretend that’s ever existed. To put it simply, the Oubliette Master makes an adventure for us to go through, and the players have to find a way to win, survive, and defeat all in their path. And because you’re playing as your dream character, you’ll be able to do whatever they can do. For example, I am Conan, the mighty barbarian, and I can cleave even the mightiest bad guy in half with my battle axe.” You say as you decide to strike a heroic pose.

Diamond just tilts her head in confusion “A barbarian? Really? Not like a knight or anything like that? Aren’t barbarians mean and just pillage and other things like that?”

“Well, I mean…” Dammit, of course she’d have a problem with you being a brutish barbarian. “I just like to get to the point, then cleave it in two.” You say with a chuckle “Besides, my character is a noble barbarian adventurer, who saves everypony and slices his enemies in half. And that’s the beauty of the game, even a class such as a thief or berserker can be heroic nobleponies. If you want to play, you could be a royal knight if you want.”

“Royal knight?” Diamond began to ponder for a moment “But you can be anypony you want to be… Hmmm…” Diamond just sat there, thinking, she even took a look at the tickets for a moment, until… “I want to be a thief.”

“Royal knight it is-wha huh?” Woah, what? A thief? You mentioned it as a class, but you didn’t expect her to pick it. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, a thief princess in fact! Think of it, Anon.” Diamond gives a conniving expression as she looks left and right suspiciously. “Princess by day, thief by the moonlight. Oooh! That’s a good name too, Moonlight Garnet! A master thief who hunts for treasure and steals the riches of evil barons and villains to give to her people… and keep some for herself too.” Diamond has herself a self satisfied titter as she gives you a rather dreamy look “Pretty cool, right? Actually, I don’t need you to tell me, I already know my ideas are perfect. Well, near perfect, I’ll have the whole idea down by the time we play tonight.”

Well, that was easy. Unexpected, but easy. Moonlight Garnet, huh? Yeah, that works. Better yet, that pretty much secures your three days of power. Oh baby, tomorrow was gonna be good. “Oh, I’m sure of it. But uh…” And here it comes, the true test of her loyalty to you. “There’s something else we need to talk about. This time it’s pretty important.”

“Important?” Diamond was stunned for a moment, she didn’t even think it was something serious at first. But she could see the growing concern on your face. She didn’t know what was up, but she thought it strange you’d go from inviting her to a fun sounding night to whatever this was. “What’s wrong?”

“Well, I don’t want to alarm you or anything, but Chrysalis…” Prepare yourself, Anon, you have no idea how she is going to react to this. “Showed up at the wedding.”

“W-what?!” Diamond said out loud, catching the ear of some of the ponies around town. Though, she thankfully realized how important it was to keep it a secret, you just didn’t expect her to shove you in between some houses with her face, poking your side with her tiara, just to find a place to talk. “...She was there? Does that mean she’s totally good now? Did she like it? How did you know it was her? I didn’t notice her at all. Tell me, Anon, tell me!” Man, she was suddenly super curious. And that tiara, damn, it was kind of sharp. Nothing punctured, but you'll have to make sure she never uses it on you as a weapon.

Anyway, you decide to tell her, leaving out the more violent details. You essentially told Diamond a version where you both just caught up with each other, mentioning the fact that she cared about Diamond’s opinion of her as the most important piece to your explanation. “...And then she just left to the Everfree. What do you think, Diamond?” She wasn’t freaking out, so that was a good sign.

“It sounds like she just misses her kids. It sounds like she was so focused on being evil that she even drove her entire hive to hate her when they realized there was a better way…” Diamond began to frown more and more, as her thoughts began to compare the situation with her own when it came to her mother. “She tried to force them to do things her way, when it just turned out to be a bad way. And because of that, she’s lonely now. She doesn’t know what to do, and she’s trying to hold on to everypony who does care about her while still thinking being evil is ok. My mother was kind of like that for awhile. I mean she wasn’t evil or anything, but… You know how she was. She just needed help understanding that her way wasn’t helping anypony, but that we still cared about her either way. I think that’s what Chrysalis needs, she just needs a little brother, and of course, a little sister to help her be the changeling she knows she can be. I wish I had a chance to talk to her, maybe I could have done something. We’ll still have a chance to help her, right?”

Yep, you were really glad you didn’t mention the whole ‘killing you thing’, as Diamond is not only remarkably calm about this, but seems to care enough to want to help with this. This was good, very very good indeed, meant you didn’t really have to hide or do that kind of shady shit that gets characters in trouble when they try to cover something up. You were in the clear. “We do, it’s actually why I plan to talk to Princess Twilight today. I want the help of all four princesses, I need their ok so not only does she realize she really is welcomed, but also so none of them suddenly decide to banish her or something on a whim.”

“Well, that shouldn’t be too hard, they are the princesses. After speaking to Princess Luna, I can already guess they are super understanding. I would be if I was a princess, but we all knew that already. In fact, let’s go ask Princess Twilight about it now!” Diamond said as she began to march off to Twilight’s castle.

“Woah, wha?!” Wait, she was actually wanting to do this? As adorable and caring as she was about this, you didn’t know if her form of diplomacy would work on Twilight. You also don’t think Twilight would take her too seriously. “I dunno, Diamond. This is something more between me and her.”

“We’re partners, right? And soon to be married. That means if you need help, then I’ll be there. Besides, mother does this kind of thing all the time, how hard can it be?” Diamond says as she just continues her march towards the castle without hesitation “Princess Twilight is the Princess of Friendship, so this should be something she’d already be willing to do. C’mon, Anon, it won’t be that tough.”

Christ, if only she knew how stubborn Twilight could actually be. Was it really wise to let her come along? Wait… Maybe it would be. If Twilight sees that ponies are willing to look past Chrysalis’s evil to give her a chance to reform, then she’d be more willing to keep that promise. Fine then, that’ll work. “You’re right, with you at my side, this shouldn’t be very hard at a-WAH!”

Diamond jumps on you and snuggles along your body, happy to hear you agree. “Yeah! I knew you’d realize it! This is why we’ll make the perfect couple! When we’re together, nothing can bring us down! My Daddy says that sometimes, and this is totally proof that it’s true.”

Well, it seems that it really is true. You now had a two on one against Twilight, and three days of unlimited power, all thanks to Diamond. Man, you actually felt pumped, with Twilight’s agreeance, the other three should follow suit soon after.

You'd have to be careful though, simply because Spike would still be with the clones to help make this a three on one. Then again, with him not being there, you might be able push a little harder than originally planned if Twilight proved to be difficult.

And so you and Diamond made your way to Twilight’s castle. She made some small talk, talking about how gorgeous the castle looked and such, always being some sort of beautiful monument of princessness and such. At this point, you’ve gotten used to the castle being there, so all you had to say it that it did look nice, and that was about it. Getting inside was easy enough as well, Twilight, to this day, still never locks the damn door, so it was easy for you both to just step into the main entrance hall. However, you both stop after crossing the hall, right before the doors to the cutie map room. “Ok, here we go. Diamond, are you sure you want to do this? This can be really serious. Princess Twilight isn’t exactly ok with Chrysalis in the first place.”

Diamond gives you a soft sigh, she looked slightly annoyed by your words, but she calmed herself just as quickly as it came, if only because she cared about you that much. “Well, we wouldn’t be here if it was going to be easy, right? But she’s still a princess, meaning she will still listen and understand that we’re trying to help a friend. Trust me, it’ll work out, you just need to know how to be diplomatic. Here, watch this.” Diamond says, as her determination and bravado was something to behold as she just… Stepped right through the doors. You reached out to stop her, but not only was she just stepping forward without slowing down, but Twilight was already at her chair, reading some sort of book as she happily hummed to herself. Well, at least she looked like she was in a good mood.

“Oh, I just can’t wait to meet everycreature tomorrow. Thank Celestia I have the entire day to relax and mentally prepare myself. Everything has been planned out, everycreature is ready, Chancellor Neighsay has been reasonable more and more by the moment, and everycreature seems eager to learn about friendship. That’s right, Twilight, it’s resting time! Just you, your castle, and a nice book to read.” Twilight said to herself, giggling as she made herself comfortable further to continue reading her book. Did she really have to say that out loud? Seriously, she seemed as bad as you when it came to talking to oneself.

Diamond, not caring if she was actually intruding or not, quickly creeps up on Twilight’s side before you had any time to react. While she was ready to discuss things as she said, she was also excited to be so up close to Twilight. Finally, in one large burst, she jumps onto the right arm of her chair and yells out “GOOD AFTERNOON, PRINCESS TWILIGHT!”

“BWAH!” Twilight throws her book up in surprise and falls off the other end of her chair. She then quickly got back up and slowly peered over the side of her seat to see Diamond Tiara peering from the other with a great big smile. It took Twilight a moment, but she recognized her, and upon doing so, looked back to notice you as well. “Diamond, Anon? Is the wedding over already?” Twilight then slowly stood up, feeling relief. She put on a smile, and more properly greeted you both. “Sorry I couldn’t come, your mother really didn’t want my friends and I showing up. But…” Twilight giggled to herself “If you’re both here for a princess’ blessing, then you’re in luck, I’d be happy to give it to you both. Hmm…” Twilight then began to ponder on that as she climbed back onto her seat “Although, I’m not exactly sure how that works. I don’t know if I just congratulate you both or if there’s some ceremony. Thinking about it now, I really should do some more reading on proper princess etiquette.”

“Oh, that’s very nice of you to offer that to us, Princess Twilight. But uhm, we’re actually here to talk to you about Queen Chrysalis.” Diamond says, plunging her spear of diplomacy right into Twilight’s face. You grimaced hard, took a step back, and shivered. Geez, what a straight throw that was.

“Oh, is that all? Well, let me just… WAIT WHAT?!” Twilight exclaims, once again prompting her to fall off the side of her chair, slamming her face onto the ground with a massive face plant. Diamond, utterly confused, looked to you with great puzzlement as to why Twilight was acting like that. You just shrugged, it was all going too fast for you to properly answer. Twilight raises her head above the side of her chair once more, looking to Diamond with an intense stare. “Did you say what I think you said?”

“U-umm, yes? Is there a problem, Princess Twilight?” Diamond asked, finally faltering as Twilight’s reaction started to make her feel rather uncomfortable.

“Is there a problem?! Of course there’s a problem!” Twilight, already entering her usual frantic manic mode, hovers upwards as she looks to you in surprise. “What have you told her?! What is going on this time?!”

“Hey!” Already going accusatory? Christ Twilight, way to go! “I told her the truth! I told her how it was between me and her, and everything else in between. She deserved to know! What’s wrong with that?!”

Twilight was about to berate you, until she realized she couldn’t really berate you for something like that. She began to realize the only reason she was actually frustrated was because she could already tell this was only going to be a repeat of you trying to reform her in some way. “There’s actually nothing wrong.” Twilight hovered downwards, still focusing on you as she landed behind her seat. “Telling her the truth is the right thing to do. But let me ask this, are you both here about reforming her in some way?”

“Mhmm… But why are you acting like that’s a bad thing, Princess Twilight? Isn’t reforming a good thing? I-it… Well…” Diamond’s heart sunk a little as she once again thought about how she used to be. She then looked back to Twilight with some reinforced determination, realizing it was all in the past. “It’s something I’d think would be important for anypony who is bad to go through.”

“And I believe in that too, I really do, but Chrysalis hasn’t been seen in quite some time. And as I understand it, she has vowed revenge against the princesses. She’s too dangerous, and she’d have to be dealt with accordingly before any kind of reforming could even happen. You’d even have to take in the possibility that reforming her is also an impossibility. She had a chance right there and then to join her changeling children, especially since reforming a changeling has the added benefit in that they don’t need to starve from or feast on the love of others anymore. It seems clear to me that all Queen Chrysalis wants is domination over Equestria, and that’s why I’m not allowing this conversation to go further than that.” Twilight was being quite forward and authoritative, clearly still tired of having to hear anything about Chrysalis at this point.

Diamond faltered, she had no idea Twilight would be this immediately forceful and conclusive. Seeing Diamond spooked, and hearing Twilight throw out one of her retarded judgements made you step forward, ready to take her and her arguments on. “Or so you assume. Sheesh, Twilight, we wouldn’t be here about Chrysalis unless there was some NEW information about her. Namely, her appearing at our wedding.”

“Her appearing at your-WHAT?!” Twilight once again falls over, tripping backwards over her seat and falling onto her back, smacking her head right on the side of her chair.

Diamond looked back at you, more confused than ever. “I-is she always like that?”

“Mostly, she just likes to panic a lot.” You retort, not giving a damn at this point, Twilight was being an asshole.

“I do not panic a lot!” Twilight said, quickly standing back up, her mane and tail having hairs out of place, her eye twitching from her increasing manicness. “But you can’t just come in here and say that she showed up at your wedding! Because, yes, that will cause some panic. C’mon, Anon, this isn’t a joke. Do you realize you could start a REAL panic by lying about something like that?”

“But he isn’t lying? She really was there.” Diamond said, her confusion to Twilight’s attitude becoming never ending.

“W-what? Ha ha, she was at your wedding? Hahahaaa she was there? And I wasn’t there to defend everypony? Just slipped right in, and caused trouble right under my nose.” Twilight was becoming delirious at this point, she honestly couldn’t take in that Chrysalis once again possibly crashed a wedding, ponies already possibly taken or obliterated before she could do anything. “Right under all our noses.”

Oh yeah, she was losing her marbles already. Typical goddamn Twilight, she just couldn’t take even the possibility of something going out of her control. No one was hurt, no one was drained, hell, no one even actually knew she was fucking there except goddamn Starlight. You had to tell Spike, Discord, and Fluttershy about it after the fact. “She didn’t do anything, Twilight. Do you really have to act like this? Even Aunt Fluttershy and Spike knew she was there. You’re overreacting.”

“Y-your aunt knows? And S-spike too?” Twilight asked, wobbling around, her mind hazy as she felt woozy from her crazed thoughts. “A-and nopony thought to tell me about this?!”

“It only j-just happened, Princess Twilight. E-everything is ok though. All she did w-was talk with Anon, and we learned some really important t-things through that. A-are you alright? Y-you’re acting like you don’t want to help her at all, e-ever. She’s like a sister t-to me, you have to help her.” Diamond was growing timid. Unlike her time with visiting Princess Luna during your first real date, Princess Twilight was turning out to be nothing like she thought she really was.

“D-did you say sister?” Twilight asked, as she began to lean back, her panicked smile going wider.

“Y-yes?” Diamond answered hesitatingly.

“Oh ok, that’s what I thought. Well, if you’d like to talk about it later, that would be fine.” Twilight, with her hair still out of place, suddenly calms down to her usual self, as if nothing happened.

“What?! Twilight, we are being one hundred percent seri-oh, oh geez.” Your words are cut short as Twilight suddenly falls over to her side, falling unconscious as her mind finally overloaded. “Welp, her brain fried.”

“Princess Twilight?! Anon, is she going to be ok?!” Diamond began to panic herself, and rushed towards the fallen mare. She lifted one of her legs to see if it’d move, but it just fell lifelessly, the only signs of movement on Twilight right now was her gentle breathing.

“Yeah, she’ll be fine. Her brain is just rebooting, that’s all.” You began to calm down. For now, it was over. You’d only get a small break before Twilight wakes up again. You’d get your chance, and she’d hopefully be more calm when you do. For now, you were going to go loot her kitchen. “Nothing to do now but wait.”

“Rebooting? What does that mean? And why does she hate Queen Chrysalis so much?” Diamond asked, as she began to walk away from Twilight’s fallen form, following you aimlessly without realizing what you were doing.

“Oh, it just means she’s calming down before she wakes up. As for why she hates her so much. Well, to be fair, she did attack Canterlot, beat down Princess Celestia, and tried to hurt her family.” you answer, heading down a hallway full of doors as you looked around for a kitchen entrance.

“I remember hearing about that. But that’s when she was totally bad, right? She’s not like that anymore, otherwise she’d have tried to do something evil again, like trying to hurt you or something.”

You suddenly came to a sudden stop as you felt a cold chill run down your spine, as you know she was there to do EXACTLY that. But if Diamond or Twilight knew that, your plans could be sunk. So what do you say then? Well, that was obvious. “Yeah, nah, she’s totally super not like that anymore. And I’m sure Princess Twilight will understand that when we get the chance to talk to her again.”

“I hope so…” Diamond said with a depressed tone. She began to rub her head along your side for comfort, as she did not expect in the slightest for Twilight to be so difficult.

You expected it in some capacity though, just not in a way that’d knock her out. Like fuck, you haven’t even gotten to reminding her about her promise, which she seemed to have clearly forgotten.

Welp, you had a way in now, Diamond made sure of that. But thanks to Twilight’s manic reactions and falling unconscious due to her not being able to process the information given to her, Diamond started to become more and more upset by the minute. She followed you through the castle, asking about why Twilight was acting the way she was, that it didn’t make sense to her. It was obvious to you though, it was obvious to anyone who knew Twilight. She was a spaz that despite being the friendship princess, had issues trusting anyone who was ‘bad’ or ‘evil’. You could just tell Diamond just that, and show her why Twilight is a hypocritical asshole. But you take pity on her childish nature, and decide to tell her that Twilight is only upset because she has so much on her mind already, due to the school and all. She buys it of course, as it made some sense to her. You then start showering her with some praise, telling her that she did an amazing job in bringing up the topic of Chrysalis. But you only do this to make it easier to tell her that you had to do the next part, the part where you convince Twilight, alone. At first, Diamond is adamant in helping you in this ordeal, but after you tell her that this particular subject has actually been a long process between you and Twilight, and that you had to see this to the end alone because of this being a personal issue that has been a back and forth between you two for awhile now; she begins to realize, or at least think, that if it’s something that goes back that far and something she doesn’t have a full grasp on, that she might actually do more harm than good. After such a realization, you are now able to tell her that it’ll be alright if she leaves you alone here, and that she could probably use the time to develop her ‘Moonlight Garnet’ character for O&O. While still reluctant, she gives you a gentle snuggle hug, and says her goodbyes, and her hopes that everything will be alright.

After you say your goodbyes and she leaves, you take the time to really start looking through Twilight’s kitchen. And… Goddammit, really? Did everything in here have to be prepared? Dammit, you didn’t know how to cook. How the fuck could she not keep any snacks around? Ugh, dammit… Everything looked so old timey too, with these classic looking ovens. No wonder there wasn't any snacks to eat.

You grumble to yourself as you return to the cutie map room, stopping to look upon Twilight’s unconscious form. Heh, she did look really cute when she was knocked out like that. You take two sneaky looks around, and ponder if squeezing her butt a little would be a form of cheating. You kind of wanted to see if it was as soft as it looked.

“Having impure thoughts again, Anon?” Said a familiar voice from behind.

“Ye- I mean no! What the?” You look behind yourself, only to see Discord walking past you and towards Fluttershy’s seat, slowly sitting down as he rests his arms on the map. “Discord? Ah c’mon man, I know you wanna see Twilight flub shit up, but this is kind of serious.”

It was odd, really, he wasn’t reacting like you expected. He didn’t seem thrilled to see Twilight down, nor did he make some sort of snappy retort on you wanting him to leave. He simply took a breath and calmly said. “I’m aware. And after some considerable thinking on the whole thing, I figured you may need a partner who has been there as long as you have in this whole Chrysalis friendship business.”

“Discord… C’mon. I value our friendship, but pissing off Twilight is not gonna help the situation at all. I mean, fuck, look…” You started to feel more serious as soon as you realized you were being too passive. You didn’t need him here ruining everything. “Just get out. I don’t need you fucking this up for me. And trust me, there will be hell if you do.”

“Noted. I suppose I’ll just have to conduct myself better to your standards.” Discord said, still acting quite calm.

“Noted? Discord, sheesh, stop acting. We all know what’s going to happen. And I’m warning you, if it does happen, then I’m done living with you. We can still be friends, but I’m gonna stay with Fluttershy. That also means I’m never playing O&O with you ever again.” That should get him out.

“Also noted, and a dice I’m willing to roll. Now come along, Anon, take a seat. The Princess awakens from her slumber.” Discord said as he pointed over to the fallen alicorn, who was already mumbling and waking from her daze.

Goddammit, the hell was he up to?! “Discord, I mean it. Just go!”

“Too late for that. Just take a seat, Anon. And let us take this on together.” Discord says, as he looks back at you with a happy looking grin.

Man, the hell was he on? You’d say he was just being his usual asshole self, but the threat of not playing O&O didn’t even phase him. It made you curious, that’s for damn sure, so you decided to take Rarity’s seat as you prepped yourself both for this talk and Discord’s shit. “Right… We’ll see about that.”

“Ogh… What a horrible dream.” Twilight said in a groan as she began to stand “It was so real. Everypony just being ok with Chrysal- Wait…” Twilight looks over to the Cutie Map, only to see you and Discord sitting and waiting for her. “OH NO! IT WASN’T A DREAM!”

“It surely wasn’t if it was related to her. Good afternoon, Twilight, it is a pleasure to see you. But if you haven’t already noticed, we have some business to attend to.” Discord said, being unusually polite yet forward in his tone.

“ Huh? Uh... Yes, yes, we do.” Twilight cautiously went to her own seat as she shook off her confusion, coming to realize quickly that something serious was up. She was still twitching some, but it was clear she wanted answers at this point. “Since it’s obvious she really was at Anon’s wedding, I’d like to know how nothing came of it considering even Fluttershy knows about it.”

“Because nothing bad happened, Twilight. In fact, I actually made a breakthrough. A friendship breakthrough.” That should be a term she should understand. Just gotta hope Discord doesn’t fucking botch it. God, you were tense, you just needed to get through this.

“A friendship breakthrough?” Indeed, Twilight looked both confused and intrigued. “What do you mean by a ‘friendship breakthrough’?”

“As in, he has penetrated the stone casing of her heart. He’s managed to find out that she has come to care about something a little more than just her children and her kingdom. Although, caring about her children isn’t such a bad thing.” Discord says… Wait, he said that? Where’s the snark?

Twilight, at first, was going to ask what he meant by that. But even she seemed rather irked that he hasn’t tried anything to torment her yet. “Discord, are you feeling ok?”

“A tad under the weather, but fine otherwise. But let’s not change the direction of this conversation. Anon, if you would let her know what you both spoke about” Discord said, raising and sliding his paw to the side to signal that it was your time to shine.

“I uh… Ok.” Really, really weird. “So, uh. Basically, we’re still friends despite how things kinda went with her kids. And it’s kind of clear she’s been lonely ever since that happened too.”

Twilight, further caught offguard by Discord’s lack of jerkiness, and interested in what you could mean, hazards the question. “What do you mean by that?”

“She actually cares about what others think of her. As in, she actually cared what somepony other than me thought of her. She had wondered if Diamond hated her. If she was still utterly evil and not wanting any kind of friendship, then she wouldn’t care about that. She’s starting to care, Twilight. She’s starting to realize how empty conquering everything actually is. Without friends, without her family, she’s just… Lonely.” And that, at least to you, was an absolute truth.

“And a little nutty to boot, she tried to eliminate Anon as soon as she got there.” Discord added. And goddammit, there it was.

“DISCORD! DAMMIT! YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT PART!” You barked at him.

“She did what?! I knew it! I knew there was more to it than that! How could you defend her, or… Even make things up if she was trying to end you, Anon? Are you that deluded?! That crazy?! You’re also somepony I have to protect, Anon, along with everypony else. And I can’t do that if you’re lying about somepony as dangerous as Chrysalis being ‘friendly’ in anyway. If she’s willing to try to strike you down, then she’d do anything to get her revenge against Princess Celestia. How do you not realize that?!” Twilight wasn’t having any of it now. She was now sure that you were going off the deep end trying to defend someone who couldn’t be saved.

“Well, that last part may have been true had she wanted revenge on Celestia at that point. No, her sights were purely set on Anon. And yet, despite that, there he stands. Of course, you probably think there isn’t too much truth to this, but I beg to differ just due to the simple fact that even Spike knows about that little detail, as does Starlight. And then you must think why Anon would hide this fact from you despite others knowing. Well, I’ll tell you. The reason why is because of how you always seem to react whenever Chrysalis is involved. Always negative, always losing your nerve. And the same could be said about anypony you saw as a villain when it comes to this particular behavior. You didn’t even take the time to ask why Anon is still here despite her attempt to eliminate him. Well, to put it simply, she was a distraught mother who lost her mind and was taking extreme measures to somehow reclaim what she lost, not realizing that she was going to end something near and dear to her heart. You should have some knowledge on how that feels like, Twilight, although being tardy isn’t very equivalent to losing one’s family, even if said family is better off.” Discord said, in such a way that you were as flabbergasted as Twilight when it came to his very sound logic.

Discord was actually spearheading this thing really damn well. And although that was the reason you didn’t tell Twilight, it was so overwhelmingly weird that the guy who suggested not telling her did tell her while putting it in a way that she couldn’t argue it. Also, maybe it wasn't so bad he mentioned it? Thinking on it, Spike or Starlight would have probably eventually told her. And oh boy, shit would have really hit the fan then.

“I… uhm… So… Ahrmn… That was something that may have happened and... “ Twilight had to stop herself, and really give it some thought. If you were still here, and if no one at the wedding was attacked or mind controlled, then it meant that this really was the truth. She realized that you must have gotten through to her in some way to make her not want to end you. Twilight began to enter a realm of deeper thought as minutes began to pass. She knew you did have a knack for reforming ponies. And although she doesn’t know of your attempt on Suri, she knew for damn sure that reforming Tempest Shadow was as amazing as reforming Starlight. Indeed, you did have quite a little reformation record going on for yourself, enough for Twilight’s arguments to crumble. “So does this mean she wants to reform?”

Man, maybe you were the one who was dreaming. Discord was actually helping? Twilight seemed to be folding? How did this happen? “I’m getting there, which is why I wanted to have support from the four princesses. I want to show Chrysalis that despite her doing evil stuff in the past, she can be forgiven. She doesn’t even really have to change her personality, all she has to do is learn that evil and conquering things is wrong. Heck, we’d know if she was willing if she transforms like her children did. In fact, if that's not enough to convince you…” Here we go, Anon. “Well, you promised that if she wanted to reform, that you’d be ok with it. Well, I’m asking for your help with this, Twilight. This is the last time I’ll attempt this, but I’m going to give it all my heart. I know I can do it, just like I have before.”

“Promise? Oh…” Twilight’s ears dropped when she realized, long ago, she did in fact make such a promise.

“Hmm? I don’t mean any hostility. But is there a problem with keeping a promise?” Discord asked.

“No, I just realize how crazy this all actually is. But not a bad crazy. I realize now that I came into this conversation being very unreasonable. And even then, I never thought I’d hear that Queen Chrysalis was actually considering reforming. It’s bizarre to think about, but it’d be wrong of me to not want that to happen or not help it along. The only thing that really bothers me though, is if she is just tricking you all. Like I’ve mentioned, the well-being of every pony falls upon me and the other princesses. However, maybe I shouldn’t think of the worst possible scenario, we’ve all seen what happens when I do that, right? Ummm... I… I think I can go along with this, Anon. As long as you have a plan, and she continues to show progress, then I think it’ll actually be ok. But if it isn’t… Then you know the princesses and I would have to stop her, right?” Twilight said. She seemed so unsure, but she finally, FINALLY, budged on the situation. And hell, you could keep Chrysalis in check to make sure that doesn’t happen, you knew you could.

Well, you hoped… “I know. I…” Was she really willing to make good on that promise? “So you’ll let me do my thing, really?”

Twilight nods “I promised to let you do your thing, right? A crazy promise from a crazy princess. Hahaha...Ha.” Twilight looks to Discord and waves her hoof rather frantically at him “Although, not the kind of crazy who enjoys chaotic antics! Just uh, what I mean was… Um.”

“What you meant was to be endearing and not seem hostile towards Anon, am I correct?” Discord says, with no hint of malice.

“Yeah… That’s exactly it.” Twilight began to look at Discord with growing concern. She had heard what had happened to him when he went and tried to act overly organized and orderly, and it very much seemed he was trying to do that again. Something, as she understood, was his own form of crazy that could very well end him. “Discord, are you sure you’re alright? I’m serious, if there’s something wrong, you can tell me.” As much as she found him mischievous and mean at times, she didn’t want to see him sick or hurt.

“I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine. In any case, Anon, are we done here? I would like to have one last private chat with you before I go.” Discord said, this time with a tiny cough. No, wait. That politeness, lack of chaos, overly caring. That wasn’t Discord…

Oh damn…

“Yeah, yeah… Sure. Um, sorry to leave so suddenly Twilight, I kind of have other things to do. I uhh…” Just be polite, Anon, just be polite. You got what you wanted, and you already knew you had little time to do what Discord wanted to do. You get up, and do a polite bow to her. “T-thank you very much for giving me this chance. I promise to you and to myself that this time, I’ll make it work.”

“O-oh, you don’t have to bow to me. Anon, I’ll put my faith in you this time. Thinking about it now, heh, we wouldn’t even be here right now if you didn’t reform Tempest, right? Chain of events, helpful allies, not obliterated by a giant storm laser. Do you know what I-” Twilight, in her neurotic ramblings, didn’t notice until now that you and Discord had already left. “O-oh… Ok then. Ugh…” Twilight let’s out a heavy sigh and let’s her head slam down on the cutie map. “Good job, Twilight, you lost your head. Yooooouuuuuuu lost your head. Can you do this again? Could you not lose your cool? You made a promise, and you have to keep your promise. Anon has been really good at reforming, that’s a fact… Sooooooo, why does this worry you so much? Mnnn, I need to write a letter to Princess Celestia…”

Upon stepping out of the front doors of the castle, you stand tall as you take a deep breath, more than ecstatic that everything went so well. “Fuck… I can’t believe that actually went well.”

“Was there any doubt? Twilight isn’t too unreasonable a pony, she’s just very neurotic at times. Either way though, I’m glad I was able to lend my assistance to you and make sure this all went smoothly. Now, if you excuse me, I need to go somewhere and rest my eyes for a little while.” Discord states as he takes a stretch, exerting himself a little too much as you hear a few snaps in his bones.

Man, as you looked at him, you noticed parts of his body were starting to crack, revealing a more withered body within. You were sure now that this wasn’t truly Discord, but one of his clones. And since Five can’t talk… “I know it’s you, Four.”

Discord, or rather, Four only looks mildly surprised as he snaps his talons at the fact he was discovered. “Aha, seems you truly are more perceptive than you appear. Well done, Anon, I do hope this doesn’t make you think less of my originator. By which I mean that’d I’d come to help rather than him.”

“More like I’m wondering why you’re here at all. I thought you were spending your final moments with Scootaloo. Why did you come to help me?” You ask, appreciative, and yet curious as to why he was here.

“To make things brief, Five didn’t last too long after his rousing loss. He gave his goodbyes in the form of hugs and a trophy to Babs and her team. While this was going on, I too could feel myself fade from the scene. And as I fade, I could feel that our originator was feeling… Doubtful, and even worried, that you may not be able to achieve your goal. As bad as I feel about it, I made my own early goodbyes to young Scootaloo and her friends. It shatters my heart, as she truly wished for me to stay… And I even would if I truly could… But I digress. I came because our originator wouldn’t, simply because he was too afraid of overextending himself. He truly does have trouble resisting teasing Princess Twilight.” Four explains as his body continues to deteriorate.

Wut? “So you put off Scootaloo to come help me out? I…” You could say you didn’t need his help, you did feel you had some sort of handle on it. But what if you didn’t? Ngh, the way you yelled at him when he even appeared told you your temper was running high, and that maybe you’d have had a screaming match with Twilight had you made a misstep. “Mnnn, but why would you come help me on Discord’s behalf? I don’t think he really cared about me succeeding when compared to Twilight having a spaz.”

“He likes the latter to be sure, but it seems you once again forget that Discord does care about you and will help you when you need it.” Four says as he begins to flick off a few pieces of his ever peeling body.

“I didn’t forget, I just don’t think he does it as often as everypony thinks. Or at least would really want to help me over teasing Twilight.” You really don’t think Discord could resist that.

“Suri, Spoiled, your horn, allowing Chrysalis in his home when she overstayed her welcome, bringing you here, feeding you, and MOSTLY respecting your privacy despite his urges to pry. He even let you give the Storm King his punishment despite a rage most furious for what he had done to you and nearly did to Fluttershy.” Four explained to you, making his point. “He truly did well hiding his anger on that one. Finding out how badly he hurt you? Oh yes, he was willing to do things that would surprise even you. He thinks your punishment you gave him truly isn’t good enough, but he let you have it anyway, simply because he likes you that much.”

Did he really? Ugh, thinking about it now, when Discord isn’t being an ass then he’s actually being helpful. Hell, if it wasn’t for him, you’d have died during the final part of that test. He truly was as helpful as he was a fucktard. “Huh… And you came to just help me out because he was worried he’d foul it up? Really?”

Four nods “That’s right, just as I said.”

Ogh, now you started to feel really bad. So did Four have the helpful parts of Discord without being an asshole? Does it truly mean Discord himself is actually always there? Even without him here at this moment, it actually felt like he himself was putting himself out there for you by proxy. Hmm, maybe you shouldn’t give him a hard time about Ogres and Oubliettes. You could do him the favor of enjoying the night with him if this truly was the case. Ngh, really, do you even show him the same courtesy he seems to show you? Sometimes, but probably not nearly enough. “I see… Umm, Four. Um, thanks for the help, I really mean it. But how long do you have now?”

“A few moments, I’d wager. Without wasting anymore time, I’d just like to say that it was a pleasure to exist, to know you and young Scootaloo, the rest of your friends, and learn to enjoy a simple game of Go Fish.” Four began to turn ethereal as he outstretched his talons to you for a hoofshake. “And so, farewell Anon, try not to give our originator a hard time, alright?”

“Yeah, thankOOMPH” As soon as you touch his talons, you are blasted with a cloud of flour, turning your entire body white, causing you to cough and sputter. “What in the?! What just happened?!”

Four let out a tiny chuckle. “A little amusing, I can see why he enjoys teasing you as much as he does. Farewell, Anon, take care of yourself and young Diamond, as well as your family and friends.” And with that, Four exploded into blue sparks, his very existence returning to Discord, wherever he may be.

You wipe your nose some before exhaling to remove some of the powder irritating your nose. You then look into the vanishing light with a downhearted expression. “Yeah, seeya. I promise, I won’t let them down and-”

“G-G-HOST! AIIIEEE” Yelled a mysterious pony from behind, startling you enough to cause you to jump up and then fall on your face.

What in the? When you turn around, you notice a blonde mane, darkish pink pony with a flower in her hair. Lily, you remember her name being, and she was in the middle of falling over.

Christ, how the fuck could she not see you were just covered in flour?! Would have saved you a slammed jaw. Where in the fuck did she come from anyway? It was like her entire life was to just fall over from fright. Or maybe she just has multiple heart attacks. Who knows?

You also didn’t have much to do until nightfall. You could find Lyra and Bonbon and find out what they went off to do, but you didn’t. You returned home instead, to reflect and rest yourself after such a stressful yet successful day. You took the time to look around your room, and how cozy and restful it actually was, down to the enchanted and cuddly warm bed. A portal door, able to take you to any important place within Equestria, or places it has on it’s dial anyway. You reach into your saddlebag and take out the locket with you and Chrysalis… Or, you thought you had it. It’s not there, did you drop it? Or did Chrysalis… Hmmm. Heh, Diamond didn’t even really talk about the locket you gave her during the wedding. Then again, she seemed content just hanging out with the real deal.

Yeah, Four was right, you owe a lot to what you have to Discord. Hell, if you wanted to put it in a perverse human way, his shit that got you with Diamond guarantees you future pony pussy, so there’s that too. Really, the only thing that made you feel worried and uncomfortable at this point was the thing that was missing when you decided to raise your blinds. The X-Captain was still gone instead of being in his usual spot. Was he planning something? Or did he somehow get lost? You’d have to investigate it when you have unlimited magical power. For now, you had to get it out of your mind.

You could spend your time playing your arcade game and try to beat Big Mac’s record, but that didn’t seem fun to you at this point. No, you’d resist the urge to play any game and just relax and ponder, and let time pass until it was time to return to Twilight’s castle for an O&O session. Hell, you could even take a nap. But to not risk ruining your sleep schedule, you opt not to. Man, now you know why all that meditation training was so tough for monks and crap. Doing nothing was very tough and super boring. Still, you had a lot to be positive about. You had Twilight’s ok, Fluttershy’s ok… Hell, pretty much everyone’s 'ok' at this point. Damn, Anon, today really has gone well for you. You really wish Four could have stuck around a little more, you both could have probably had an interesting talk about Discord himself. But ah well, things will be fine either way. Just relax, Anon, and be fair to Discord. You were sure tonight would go as smoothly as the day.

As your alarm clock reached seven, you decided to hop out of bed and go to Diamond’s manor. An easy enough walk to be sure. Grabbing your saddlebag, you use your portal door to appear near town hall. As usual, the sky was blanketed in a beautiful sea of stars, a sight you always tend to enjoy.

The thing was, as you began to near the front gates of her home, you began to feel a creepy suspicious feeling of being watched. “Hrn?” Nothing past the gates, nothing above you, the road is clear, and the nearby shrubbery… Huh? You go to investigate the bushes, noticing them tremble as you grew near. And upon spreading the leaves apart, you notice a pair of adorable blue eyes looking back at you. “Diamond? What are you doing?”

“Ugh…” Diamond Tiara stepped out of the bushes, brushing herself to remove any sticky leaves, and obviously frustrated she was caught. “So much for being the stealthy Moonlight Garnet.” She pulls out a sheet of paper, and gives it a look over “And I thought I had everything well planned out too. I think I filled this character sheet out properly, but I just can’t tell.”

Wut? A character sheet? She actually got one of those? “Diamond, you have a character sheet for O&O? When did you get one of those? Why’d you spy on me like that?”

“I could have just th- huh?” You break Diamond out of her frustrated train of thought, only for her to realize that she must have looked so foolish getting angry about being found in a bush. she shook her head to and fro to shake off any agitation she might still have, then looked away from you, sounding rather self important. “Oh, well, all of those questions are easy to answer. I told Silver Spoon about it and we were both able to hunt down a rulebook of the game, along with character sheets, at the local hobby shop. We didn’t read all the rules of course, no way we could get that done in a day, but we totally made characters for ourselves and started practicing. Of course though, as soon as Silver Spoon learned who else we’d be playing with, she suddenly had to go. Egh, Daddy Discord isn’t even a bad guy, he’s just...Um, well… I don’t have a word for it, but he’s that. So, figuring you’d come get me soon, I hid in the bushes for a whole hour, ready to pounce on you like a stealthy thief. I think I did it right, but your barbarian senses must have found me out. Hmph, in other words, you got lucky.”

Ha! What the hell was this? This was as adorable as it was funny. Hell, she looked so cute, being flustered like that. And the fact she had the locket on? Oh it made it complete. Although, as you giggled, she started to frown before puffing her cheeks in anger. “Anon! It’s not funny! I tried really hard to be like how I imagine my character… I mean, I at least had you fooled for a little bit, right? I saw you looking around for me before you found me.” Her anger began to subside to a yearning of validation, to know she at least did some good for her character. Hell, you didn’t expect her to get that into it. But you guessed if she thinks you love it so much, then she felt that enthused to get into it herself.

“Oh, um, yeah, it’s just my senses, that’s all. But we’re not even playing the game right now, so you could call it my hero senses. Trust me, anypony else wouldn’t have spotted you at all.” You say in a way to bring back her spirits.

“Oh, yeah! You’re right about that… Um, Hmph!” Diamond once again raises her head, smirking arrogantly as she brushes back her mane. “Indeed, I forgot that your hero skills are super beyond amazing. As your partner, I naturally have amazing abilities too, the kind only you could see within me.” Oh god, she was trying to sound heroic while being arrogant at the same time. Your heart couldn’t take it, it was so damn cute.

“Yeah, I totally agree.” You walk up to her and give her a smooch on the cheek “You ready to go? We’re playing at Twilight’s castle after all, so it's a bit of a walk from here”

“Hnnn!” Diamond’s ears and coat perked up at that kiss, causing her to blush deep as she immediately went up to nuzzle her head under yours. “I totall- OH WAIT!” She raises her head in surprise, nearly forgetting about what happened earlier. “How did it go with Princess Twilight? Did she go with it? Is she willing to help?”

You nod to her, giving her a reassuring smile. “She did. Yeeeep, really didn’t have any problems too. Heh, gotta thank you though, you going right in really helped break the ice.”

Diamond blushes, and waved her hoof at you dismissively “I only said a few things. Though, I really was scared she was going to be against it, against you even. Was she really that stressed about her school? Does Chrysalis really scare her that much?”

“Oh… Um, yeah, it’s kinda both those things. Like I said, there’s a history there.” You answer.

“Oh. Well I really do hope everything works out. When Chrysalis becomes good like us, it’ll be super awesome to hang with her.” Suddenly, Diamond giggles as she looks at you with a sly look “Maybe she could tell me things about you even you don’t know about yourself. Maybe I could do something with that kind of information.”

Oh, you almost broke into a sweat on those words. Both from fear and curiosity. Sure, she didn’t mean anything lewd, maybe. But whatever it was, it could still be fun… Or not. “Haha, um… Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna be anything super informative. B-but if it is, well… I… Hmmm.” Best not to tell her what you’re thinking, don’t want her to learn about anything super lewd.

“Acting shy? Hm, maybe there are a few secrets you’re not willing to tell me too. I know about those kinds of secrets. We fillies call it ‘colt’ secrets, the kinds all the boys only share with each other. Well, I’ll know what those secrets are…” Then Diamond snickered joyously “Then I can tell all the other girls. Then we’ll all know. Meaning we’ll know all the secrets of the boys, but you won’t know any of the secrets of the girls. How absolutely scandalous.”

Yeah, not what you were expecting. Although, if you were a little more deprived of morals, you’d show her a real ‘colt’ secret. “Y-yeah, well… For now, those secrets stay safe with us colts.”

“And our secrets stay with us fillies. And I can respect that.” Then Diamond leans close so she can whisper in your ear. “But I’ll eventually find out anyway. But I really wanna get to playing right now, so let’s just go have an adventure.”

Haha… God, why can’t you just consummate the crap out of her?

With that, you both head on towards Twilight’s castle. Along the way, you asked if you could look over her character sheet. But Diamond was being coy about it, not wanting you to know anything more about her character until she actually becomes said character. A tease to be sure, but man, you knew to expect an Alicorn as soon as the game starts.

You both arrive at the front doors of the castle. Again, it wasn’t locked, so entry was easy. And upon stepping into the Cutie Map room once more, there sat Spike on Twilight’s seat, looking over some of the paper pieces of the game while making sure whatever sheets he was looking at looked correct. Oh yeah, he was ready to go. But where was Discord?

The three of you were seated at this point. Seems Discord was in the kitchen, according to Spike, making snacks for everyone to munch on. Although you haven’t played the game nearly as much as Spike, Big Mac, or Discord; You understood that Discord himself is usually in one of his best moods right before a session, so you didn’t actually find that unusual. No, the real attention was on Diamond, given she was a new player and all.

“So, Diamond, it’s really cool that you decided to come play with us. I guess that’s why Discord was really excited to have a session tonight, it’s like he has a family now to play the game with. Very cool.” Spike said, he himself seeming eager to give the night a go with a new player. “Really very cool actually, Anon usually do-” But as Spike begins to say that, and you immediately catch on to what he’s about to say, you bring your hoof to your mouth and twist your head to signal that he shouldn’t say what he was about to say, which was simply going to be the fact that you don’t actually like O&O all too much. “Does, um… love it when we have more players… Hah.” Spike didn’t need to guess why you acted like that, it was obvious you didn’t want to upset your ‘date’. So he played it cool, as if understanding some sort of bro code of sort. “Ahrm… Actually, Anon, I gotta ask you something.”

Hmm? He had a question for you? Actually, speaking of questions, you had to ask him if Scootaloo was ok, since he was with her before Four left to the castle. “What is it?”

“It’s about your dad, actually. Dunno what’s up with him, but he’s like, ultra excited about tonight. As in, he suddenly went kind of nutty and started working on a scenario for us to do. I've never seen him get so serious about anything like that before, at least more serious than usual for him when it comes to our games. Plus, he was being creepy about it too. Like, he was mumbling something about ‘I’ll show me” and something about one upping himself. Weird, right? Got any idea what all that means?”

Actually, no, you had no idea. That sounded pretty crazy, even for Discord. What the fuck was that even all about? “Um, actually, no. But Dad can usually be weird like that.”

“Usually, yeah. But that’s normal for him. This? I dunno, especially since it has to do with O&O. Y’know, because nothing about O&O really bothers him.” Spike was sure about this too. Discord loves the game, so for him to be bothered about any facet of it that isn’t an inane rule change was uncharacteristic for him. Was he just nervous? Maybe that was it.

“He could just be nervous. I mean, Big Mac is still out and we have a new player… Ahrm.” You look to Diamond with a smile “The wonderful Moonlight Garnet.” What a yutz you were, being corny like that. But whatever, she just did a cute smile and waved her hoof at you in a way as she giggled.

“Oh, Anon, we’re not even playing right now, you don't have to introduce me as my character yet. Oh! But…” Diamond slides her sheet over to Spike when she realized she still had to have her character accepted “Here, Spike, this is my character sheet. I filled it out myself! Is everything ok with it?”

“Huh? Oh, well let’s see.” Spike took the sheet and started to look it over, his eyes lighting up as he noticed something interesting. “Oh wow, so you’re gonna be a thief? That’s cool, we kind of need one for the group. But, wait, huh? Ohhhh, so your race is gonna be a-GAH!” Spike is taken aback in fright when Diamond slams her hooves on the map, looking at him with a massive stink eye.

“Don’t spoil it! I want Anon to see it when we do the whole world change thing! I’m really looking forward in seeing how he reacts, so don’t say anything else about my character, ok?!” Diamond was being heavily demanding in her tone about this, she really REALLY wanted this to be an explosive reveal. It was cute, even if her reaction startled Spike some.

“Ok! Ok! I got it! Erm, well, it looks like everything else is correct on this sheet, so you’re good to go.” Spike says, getting a now calmed and satisfied nod out of Diamond.

“So Spike, about Scootaloo. Is she ok? I mean, after Four and Five left?” You had an opening to ask, and you take it.

“Oh…” Spike suddenly slumps with a frown, tapping his claws on the table as he began to speak. “Yeah… She didn’t take it too well that he had to go. I mean, goodbyes like that are always really hard, especially since Four and Five were pretty cool. Everypony kinda just started crying, like we lost a family member. I-I didn’t cry of course, somepony had to stay tough and keep their head so nopony fell apart. A-anyway, um, yeah… It was pretty heavy. But I’m pretty sure she’ll be ok, she understood it had to happen, and she’s spending the night at the clubhouse with her best friends. And I gotta tell you, Anon, they aren’t going to let her stay down all night. So no worries, ok? Because I can see it, it’s worrying you, right? If you sweat it, it’s just gonna bring you down for the whole night. And being your friend, I ain’t gonna let you bring yourself down, just like they won’t let Scootaloo down.”

It actually was… Damn, was it that obvious that you looked concerned about it? Heh, you remembered when you found Scootaloo and the rest of the crusaders nuisances. Amazing how time and friendship can change your view on things. “Yeah, heh, that’s what friendship is all about, right? Thanks for that, Spike.”

“Bah, it’s no big.” Spike says, giving you a reassuring smile as he points his claws at you “I’m there for you, buddy.”

“Me too! As long as you’re with me, I’ll never let you be sad. And if somepony is making you sad, well, I’ll make sure their life is ruined forever!” Diamond exclaims. Hell, that was such a ridiculous claim that it was more scary than cute, making you and Spike stare at her like the sudden crazy pony she seemed like right then. “U-um, I mean, I’ll umm… Well, I can yell at them, right? I know Mother and Daddy don’t like me being too uncivilized… Well, mostly Mother, but I’d never let anypony hurt my Anon.”

You chuckle lightly at that, half nervous and yet half charmed by her dedication. “Thanks Diamond, just having you near me is enough to keep me cheery.”

“I know, I’ve been told before that I always brighten everypony’s day.” Diamond said, arrogantly so.

“Heh… Yeah. Erm… Hmmm…” Spike started to look around, feeling a little nervous after that, not as charmed as you were by Diamond's adorable nervousness. “So, how do you two feel about Twilight’s school?”

“Oh, I think it’s an awesome idea. Just about every idea that’s ever been come up with when it comes to princesses are good ideas.” Diamond states.

“Well, considering I’ll be attending soon, I’ve warmed up to the idea. Even been thinking of showing up in three days rather than a week. Gotta ask Twilight about it though.” You answered.

And just like that, a voice began to fill the room. “Ah, interesting. I wonder why it’d be in three days. Perhaps it’s because things would seem rather boring at the end of said third day.” Said Discord, suddenly appearing in the room as he held up two plates with these circular lids on them.

“Daddy Discord! Hello!” Diamond said excitingly, waving towards him. “I didn’t get a chance to ask you about the wedding. It was super awesome, right?”

“Perfectly average.” Discord says with a coy smile as he places one plate in front of Spike, and the other in front of you and Diamond, literally splitting the second plate into two smaller lidded plates as he did so.

“Yup! See, Anon, Daddy Discord gets it… And, erm, what’s in here?” Diamond asked as she curiously tapped at the lid.

“For Spike” Discord lifts his lid, revealing some creamy looking twinkie like things. “Gem encrusted eclairs.”

“Woah!” Spike nearly started to immediately drool as he picked one up and squeezed his claws just enough to feel it stop on something hard. “They look delicious, Discord! Thanks!”

“Of course, of course! Only the best for our brave adventurers. Ah, speaking of which, for our young couple, a delicious snack all the way from Anon’s old universe.” Discord lifts the lids to both yours and Diamond's plates, revealing… Oh shit! “Oreos with a glass of milk.”

“Oreos? They look weird, kind of like two black cookies with a cheap cream in the middle. Anon, you eat these?” Diamond asked as she gave one a cautious tap with her hoof.

DAMN FUCKING STRAIGHT! “Heck yeah! You just take one, dip it in some milk, and take a bite… Mmmm… It’s still great.” You go through the motions as you explain how it works, and damn, did it taste as good as you remember. “Sure, they're cheap, but they always taste awesome. Go on, give it a try.”

“Ok” Diamond hesitatingly takes one of the cookies, dips, and takes a bite. “Huh, it tastes pretty good. The cream is kind of cheap, but it just tastes… Right.” Diamond then looked to you, a little confused “You really ate these, Anon? I would have thought you’d eat fresher looking cookies. Like I said, not that these are bad… But, you know.”

You weren’t actually listening to Diamond though, you had just finished dipping a five stacker into the milk and slamming it down into your mouth. “Mnn wamhat? Whamt yghu say?”

“O-oh, nothing. Erm… Oh no!" Diamond just then realized she had insulted Discord's cooking, and adjusted herself to thank him and apologize. "Thanks Daddy Discord. It does taste pretty good. I-I'm sorry if I made it seem like I didn't like it” She did like the taste, it was just the quality she wasn’t used to. But she began taking her time with it, unlike you, you slob.

“You’re welcome. And don't fret...” Discord answered, as his eyes focused on you. For some reason, he seemed to be getting a grand satisfaction from you stuffing your face with oreos. “I’m just glad everypony is enjoying their snacks. It’ll make the night even better when I reveal tonight’s campaign. A short one to be sure, as we have a newcomer in our ranks, but still one I’m sure will catch the attention of everypony. I’m sure the praise I’ll receive will be ‘legendary’”

“Well, what is it? You’ve been ultra secretive about it since you mentioned it. It’s not gonna be too tough, right? Because like you said, we do have a newbie.” Spike asked, wondering what Discord had planned.

“I know. Trust me, I made sure this campaign was very doable. Not just due to the difficulty it’d need to be adjusted for, but because a lot of it isn’t typically compatible with O&O in the first place. Well, not without my magic at least.” Discord said, his expression becoming ever more so cocky as he spoke.

Wut? “What are you talking about? What do you mean not compatible? As in, it’s all completely made up? Like, OC content?”

“Oh, it’s much more than that. Prepare yourself, fellow adventurers!” Discord yelled out as the room began to spin and warp. You and Spike looked confused, but Diamond? She was already getting super excited. “For today, we enter a new land! To defeat an evil demon king who has taken over all he surveys. Tonight, we save the land of…” Everything began to change, from all of your clothes and gear to the world around you. You all began to find yourselves in the field of a familiar place, with a castle wall surrounding a large ominous black tower, a tower that didn’t seem like it belonged with how scenic everything else looked. The area itself was dead or dying of unnatural causes, With the sky being clouded with a deathly brown color, as if the tower itself was a blight across the land. The fact that the tower sat way back near the edge of what seemed to be mountains suggested the gates also guarded either a huge courtyard or a town of some sort. You couldn’t tell due to the large drawbridge, which was up, guarding your view. However, You were suddenly caught in some nostalgic awe, as your mind did it's best to recall why everything seemed so familiar.

This couldn’t be it, this can’t be it, there’s no fucking way. Even Discord wouldn’t go as far as to…

“Hyrule!” Discord yells out, garbed already as Captain Wuz.

No fucking way...

“Hy-rule? Discord, I dunno…” Spike, garbed as Garbunkle, said as he gave the entire area an inquisitive look around. “Place doesn’t look very O&O. And given the creepy ominous clouds, dry grass, and evil looking tower, this doesn’t look like it’ll be easy either.”

“Relax, Spike. It may look difficult, but this kind of place can be done by even the youngest of children. The only reason it looks difficult is because we are starting at the end of an adventure. Odd place to start, I know, but this is merely a test run for our beginner adventurer. Even better, I have given us items that will help aid us on our assault on our target, a ruthless demon king named Ganon, who awaits us at the top of that tower. And, being as amazing as I am, this entire scenario was constructed from an outline. Which means even I have no idea how it’ll progress, perfect for immersion. Now, the items in question are very special, and essential in defeating this evil king. I, Captain Wuz, hold the silver arrows. You, Garbunkle, wield the Staff of Wisdom.”

“Wha?” Spike looks upon the staff he is holding, and notices it to be a spectacular silver staff with a blue spherical gem at the top of it, three triangles adorned along the clutches of the staff that hold the orb in place. “Woah, this looks pretty neat, looks pretty high level too.”

“Ohhh man! Dad! Geez, this is amazing!” You were just taking it all in! It really looked like it was mostly based off Ocarina of Time, but more realistic looking. Holy fucking damn, this is the kind of adventure you wanted to go on! To actually go and take out a memorable and legendary villain like Ganon. “Like, what made you want to set this up?”

“I just thought if it was going to be a beginner’s adventure, that’d it be something most enjoyable to you. Which would make it easier for you to enjoy it with your marefriend. And there is certainly no other reason other than that. But I do have to know, on a scale between 1 and ‘Discord is the best of them all’, how would you rate things thus far in terms of aesthetics?” Discord asked, looking at you with a cocky look, but his eyes seemingly having some sort of wanting for validation, something you truly hadn’t noticed at the time.

“Beyond the best! I always wanted to do an adventure like this! Wait, OHHHH! Wait, so if Spike has got the Staff of Wisdom, then that must mean I have the…” You reach onto your back, and hold up a massive double edged battle axe with a silver blade, the handle being made of a sturdy gold material, marked with the three triangles of the triforce, with a red diamond encrusted in the middle of the giant blade itself. “The Battle Axe of PooowwwaaahhHH!” You also didn’t realize that this was a two hooved axe, as in, holding it up with one hoof was quite cumbersome. You accidentally drop the axe onto the ground as you fall forward, your face meeting the axe’s edge. Luckily, somehow, you only bump your head as if you hit a blunt object, and fall to the side of the axe with a thud. “Ow… Yikes… U-um, it’s pretty heavy.” You were just glad you weren't cleaved in two.

Discord just groans as he puts his paw to his face. “You’re lucky these weapons only slice through evil or this adventure would end as soon as it began. But yes, you have the Axe of Power. Which leaves Moonlight Garnet, and her Dagger of Courage.”

“Wooooah!” Diamond said as she held up her dagger, a silver blade with a strong gold metal hilt, the hilt adorned with a green gem in a triangle shape, surrounded by the triforce. “This looks really expensive.”

Wait, Diamond… Diamond as in Moonlight! Oh shit! You look over to her as you stand back up to finally see what her character was. Though, you expected an alicorn, that wasn’t what you actually got. What stood before the group was a filly with a darker pink coat than Diamond has, wearing a black tunic, shoes, cape with red fringes, and a black cloak along her head. Diamond’s mane was the same, if a little frazzled, but it was her eyes, mouth, back, and ears that caught you off guard. Her ears were now very fluffy, and slightly longer than normal. Her back was now adorned with black purples bat wings, her pupils were now slits, surrounded by beautiful garnet colored eyes, and she had small fangs extending from her mouth. Wait… She’s a bat pony?! A BAT PONY?! She looks… Unf, she looks adorable and yet sensual at the same time. Maybe that wasn’t the intention, but oh boy, did it turn you on. “Diamond, is that you?”

“Yup! Oh! Wait…” Diamond begins to notice on her own that her body actually changed. She looks back to see her wings, and begins to pat at her ears like a cat, causing them to flick about. “Eeeeee!” She lets out, being a little more ear piercing than it should be, but oh so damn cute. “It worked! I’m a Bat Pony Princess! A master of the night! Yeah! Anon, what do you think? Don’t I look oh so cool?” Diamond strikes a small pose, extending her right leg forward as she tries to look daring, but comes out as… Well, it should be daring but you had smut on the mind.

“You look so… Amazing.” You say, just...looking at her like a perverse creep.

“Well, of course. I’m Moonlight Garnet! The Princess Thief! Wait… That just makes me sound like I steal princesses. The Princess of Thieves… Wait, no, that just makes it sound like I rule over thieves. Erm, The Thief Princess! There we go, perfect!” Diamond says with a satisfied nod. She then notices you staring at her, she also noticed you blushing, something she had come to realize meant one thing. “Anon… Are you attracted to me? I mean, like this?” She asks, rather shyly.

You nod and answer carelessly. “Mhmm” God, she looked sexy.

Diamond, at first looked adorably shy about it, but then she suddenly got super angry. “Anon! GRRRR! YOU CAN’T BE ATTRACTED TO MOONLIGHT GARNET! SHE’S NOT ME! OOOH, THAT MAKES ME SO…” She rushed up to you, and with some kind of unholy strength, takes your axe and slams it down on your head, actually slicing you in half. Not in a violent way either, more like you were made of paper, no guts or anything. A spirit version of you floats out of your now vanishing corpse, which startles everyone. “Wait! WAIT! I didn’t mean to do that! Ngh, You said it could only cleave evil! Anon.. No…”

Spike just chuckled as he put his arms to his side “He’s alright, that’s just how we deal with player death. As for only cleaving evil, heh, I have a feeling there was something about Anon right then that wasn’t exactly good.”

“Indeed.” Discord snaps his talons, bringing you back to life as he has himself a light giggle. “Not the first time its happened either. But let us try to avoid player killing, shall we?”

“Y-yes, Daddy Discord. I’m sorry, I just got really mad.” Diamond said, relieved, and feeling apologetic for what she did. But holy fuck, that was yandere as hell! Geez, that was fucking scary. You expected she’d not get jealous, especially with the way she was maturing, and then suddenly she cleaves you with a fucking axe!

“Y-yeah, let’s not do that. But u-uhh, Diamond, I-I mean, couldn’t it be my character just falling for your character?” You say, with a pathetic and sheepish grin on your face as you try to save the situation. “I mean, this is a role playing session.”

Diamond just gives you a hard stare, no longer phased by your 'death' “No.”

“Oh, critical failure there, Anon.” Spike says as he walks over to you to give you a pat on your side for reassurance before looking to Discord. “So, Captain Wuz, what exactly are we doing? As in, are we just doing a basic dungeon run? Get in, beat the bad guys, get out?”

Discord nods “Exactly, however, our way to the town is cut off thanks to that drawbridge. And even then, the once bustling town of Hyrule has been taken over by Ganon, meaning it’s probably falling apart and filled to the brim with his monstrous soldiers. We’ll have to get past them first before we even reach the tower.”

Spike just rolls his eyes as his tone turns sarcastic “Oh yeah, real easy.”

Ok, so it sounds a little worse than Ocarina of Time, as you remember the town only having redeads, who were pretty easy to bypass. “Yeah, I’m with Spike, how are we supposed to get past an entire town of monsters?”

“Hmph, I’d expect that questioning from you, Anon, of course, but you Spike? Why the doubt?” Discord asked, feeling rather insulted that his friend, a vet of the game, would question the validity of the difficulty of his campaign.

“Y’know, just sounds a little tougher than it should be for a beginner’s campaign. But hey, if you’re that sure, then I’m ready to rock. We’ll send Ganon and his goons to the shredder, no prob.” Spike said as he stood tall, slamming his staff down to the ground to affirm his bravery and mettle.

In truth, you were still a little shaken by Diamond’s reaction to really give an actual reply. You tried to shake it off, but as you gave her another glance, you started to feel rather off. “Yeah... “

And Diamond noticed, and while she was relieved that you were ok, she had realized again that she did kill you, if only accidentally and within a game. She walks back up to you, and apologizes. “Anon, I’m really sorry I did that. I just got mad over something stupid. I mean, it’s just like dress up, right? You just think i'm cute in like, this costume, right?” There she was, worried over the fact you were looking at her as someone else rather than herself. I mean, in essence, she'd probably be hot as fuck as a vampony, a transformation you know that is possible without chaos magic. Then again... She'd also be kind of violent. Buuuuut... Then again, that's still kind of hot.

“Yeah… Heh, I just got a little overwhelmed by your look. Bat or Earth Pony, you look adorable to me.” You tell her, which causes her to nuzzle her head under yours once more, as she was thankful that you forgave her, and admired you for your love for her.

“And that’s a critical save.” Spike said, just enjoying the adorable moment from afar.

“Ok then.” Diamond says as she ends her nuzzling with a smooch to your cheek. “Let’s go kick Ganon butt! Erm, I don’t know what he is, but he’ll rue the day he messed with me, Diamond T-... Erm, Moonlight Garnet!” She proclaims as she turns over to the raised drawbridge, then to Discord. “Captain Wuz, any idea how we’re going to get that down?”

And with those words, it looks like the adventure officially began.

“Well everypony, I don’t want to be all pessimistic or nothin’. But how are we going to get that drawbridge down? That moat looks pretty murky and suspicious to go looking for a sewer system, and I’m not really comfy wasting my mass teleport spell on the get go.” Garbunkle asked as he looked over the edge of the ground towards the polluted and dark water down below.

“Hmmm, well… What about right there?” You notice a few windows going into the wall of the right side of the drawbridge. “That looks like a guard post or something, I bet the lever to lower the drawbridge is in there.”

“Ahh, but how do you suppose we get there, I wonder? Since we need to keep Garbunkle’s spells well stocked for when we get further in.” Wuz pondered, but his eyes wandered over to Moonlight, as he felt he actually knew the answer to the question “If only somepony in our group could fly over there stealthily and check it out.”

“Oh! OH! I could do that! I can fly over there, check it out, flip the lever, and backstab any baddies who might be in my way!” Moonlight says with an excited hop as she spread her wings to prepare for flight.

Wait… “Woah, woah. Erm, Dia-Moonlight… That’s all pretty dangerous, and if you get into trouble, we can’t really help you without teleporting in. Are you ok with that? We could figure out something else.” Were you worried about her? Yeah, even if this was all papercraft and magic, it could still be very scary and violent for her. And wait… Speaking of violent. “Also, what do you mean backstab? You’re really willing to do that?”

“Duh, I am a thief. And once I figure out how these wings work, getting over there will be totally easy.” Moonlight said as she fluttered her wings, and instantly began to hover as if by thought “Oh hey, this isn’t very hard at all! Look everypony, I'm in the air! So cool!”

“Ah, it truly isn't that hard for you, as your ability to fly is tied to the skills of your character. So really, it comes quite naturally.” Wuz explains.

“Neat! Oh and Anon… Erm, Conan, I’ll be ok. I mean, they are just baddies made of paper, right? If I could slice you in half without a problem, then those guys will be pushovers.” Moonlight tells you with an adorable wink, at this point, unphased by the fact she hacked you in two. However, you find your heart sink in pain from those words. You were that easy?! No you weren’t! She just surprised you… And uh… murdered you in a hit. Egghhhhh…

“You’re looking sickly there, Conan, you ok?” Garbunkle asked as he made a subtle smirk “Not getting another one of them splitting headaches, are ya?”

You just shoot a grumpy glance over to him, and grumble. Bah, as you said to yourself, a surprise strike. You could easily obliterate your own party if you were allowed the same chance.

“Ok, I’m going now! Don’t worry fellow adventurers! The glamorous and sneaky Moonlight Garnet will lower that drawbridge.” Moonlight announces with a flourish of wings and with the grandeur of a true princess. She then goes and flies over to the window, and like a cat, begins to slip slowly inside.

“So, what are the chances she can pull this off?” Garbunkle asks. “Not that I’m not hoping, but we’re toast if they manage to find her out. If there’s an evil army in there, they’ll slaughter the rest of us for sure.”

“Not too high. While I doubt she’ll lower the drawbridge, I know the lizardfos guarding the place will lead an attack force on us once she’s found out. Hopefully, she’ll rejoin us with no harm to herself so we can teleport inside while the attack force try to figure out where we went.” Captain Wuz responded as he awaited the results of Moonlight’s stealthy strike.

Wait… “WHAT?! YOU’RE USING HER?! WHAT GIVES?! THAT’S NOT RIGHT!” Holy fuck, you would have thought Discord would have been more caring towards the fact that the game could still be scary, especially for a young foal. “What if she gets hurt?!”

“I mean, Conan, it just sounds like a backup plan. She’s the only one of us who can fly, so if she does mess up, we can still teleport and regroup. Again, not really too keen on using that spell, but unless you had any better ideas, I think it’s the best we- WOAH!” Garbunkle steps back in surprise as the drawbridge suddenly falls, with Moonlight standing at the other end with a big grin.

“Gooooot it!” Moonlight said with a happy little hop.

All of you, ALL OF YOU, were fucking amazed that Moonlight was able to do it so quickly, efficiently, and with such a happy childish smile on her face. “What in the…” You were just in awe as Moonlight pranced over to you and pointed over to the drawbridge. “D-diamond?”

“Nooo, Moonlight! Oh… I see.” Moonlight giggled to herself and gave all of you a sly grin “You all really didn’t expect me to do it, did you? Well, don’t forget that I’m always the best at what I do. Three lizard guys, and none of them noticed me as I took em out. Heck, the last one exploded into confetti without ever noticing my silver blade. Hehe, try to keep up, we got a demon king to beat.” Moonlight just turned back towards the lowered drawbridge, and began to march forward ahead.

“Uhhhh… Woah, that’s… Yo, Wuz, uhhh… What kind of rolls did she need exactly?” Garbunkle was just blown away. It’s not like he didn’t want her to succeed, it just seemed really unlikely. “Because it sounds like she hit them all, including a crit on that last one”

“I’m only assuming, but about sixteen and above on all three. I…” Wuz began to look at his paw and talons in disbelief “Even I’ve never gotten such rolls consecutively. I have failed as a chaos spirit, father, friend, prankster, and professional dog trainer.” Wuz falls to his knees as he holds up a fork towards Garbunkle “Stick this fork in me, for I am done.”

“Uhhh… How about no? Come on, you shouldn’t feel bad about it. It’s really awesome, actually. She’s like Conan's opposite. She gets awesome rolls where he gets utterly bad ones.” Garbunkle remarks, smiling as he raises a claw to express his point “And did you all see how cool she was about it? Oh yeah, I can already tell things are about to get amazing.”

“Yeah, they really- WAIT! I don’t always get bad rolls!” You contest those false facts! YOU CONTEST IT!

“Not all the time, but you’re kind of consistent about it, Conan. Look, try something right now.” Garbunkle does in fact challenge you, awaiting to see the outcome of your next action.

“Fine, I will. Check this out, I’m going to beast jump on top of the outer walls using the drawbridge as a runway to get momentum!” You exclaim as you scratch your hoof along the ground, preparing to charge forward.

“Oh boy, that might be kind of tough. I’d say at least a thirteen. I'm not really saying you should do it. But ok, give it a shot, let’s see what you got.” Garbunkle just stands aside, but looks back at you one more time to say something else “But just to tell ya, I was just messing with you. You don’t gotta take it that seriously.”

“Oh yeah? Well, I’m taking it super serious to make a point that my rolls don’t stink. Now watch this!” And finally, you charge forward onto the drawbridge, and make your mighty leap.

And your leap isn’t as mighty as you hoped. You jump, yes, but only high enough to jump up and past Moonlight and onto the upper arch of the other end of the drawbridge. And with a mighty crash, you slam right onto it, and then fall backwards right in front of Moonlight, who just wonders what the fuck that was all about as she looks at your smooshed up face. “A-anon? What was… That?”

“...Humiliation… That’s all.” You say with a tearful whine. Were you truly that bad? God christ.

“And my faith in everything is restored. Come along, Garbunkle, Moonlight is right. We have a demon king to take down.” Wuz says as he stands up, revigored, and prepared for adventure. It seems even in dice form, Discord really got a good chuckle in his heart when you got teased in ways that tickled his funny bone.

Garbunkle just chuckles and follows along behind. “Yep, I can tell this is gonna be a fun one.”

So, with this, the second test chapter, I'll be writing the mini arc in a certain way, using a 1d20 dice to determine certain outcomes. I actually expected the chapter to be just a little longer. But really, what I got was in my favor.

As you can see, Diamond's three rolls were.... Unexpectedly fucking high.

And Anon's roll of five was just... Well, I didn't make him fail just to fail. So...

Yeahhhh... Take that as you will.

Your party of four begin to walk past the archway of the gate and into the dilapidated castle town of Hyrule. Buildings either were worn, in ruins, falling apart, or somehow survived the initial destruction of the town. The gloomy backdrop of the dark clouded sky made the town feel haunted and evil, a far cry from what it must have looked like before Ganon took over. As you all stayed alert, crossing the main street, Moonlight began to feel rather spooked, and so she stuck very close to you for comfort. She didn’t even refer to you by your character name as she spoke. “Anon, this place is kind of scary. It’s like… Ponyville, but if it was just ruined and abandoned.”

You could feel her cuddling close, you could sense the fear within her, and so you mustered up some heroic bravado to help her relax. “Don’t worry, you’re with us. If anything dares attack us, we’ll take it down no problem.”

“Oh… Anon… You’re so brave.” Moonlight said as she nuzzled her head under yours. “I p-promise, I’ll do my best the moment a ghost attacks. I promise.”

“Hm, I doubt there will be any ghosts in this town. We haven’t been noticed, but I’m sure some of these buildings are inhabited by Ganon’s forces, living forces such as the lizardfos that were guarding that drawbridge.” Wuz said as he scanned his eyes left and right, bow at the ready for any danger.

“What’s with that name anyway? Lizardfos, I mean. Why not just call them lizard monsters or lizard knights or something?” Garbunkle asked, confused as to why the name sounded so silly. “What does 'fos' even mean?”

“Well, actually, this place is kind of based off the fantasy adventures from my world. And a lot of the monster names were like that. We had Wolfos, Stalfos, and Dinofos. And snakes were even called ropes.” You answer, not really realizing at all how silly that all sounded.

“Uhhhh… So were ropes called snakes?” Garbunkle asked, even further confused by such names.

And then you started to realize how stupid that name actually was. “Erm… No? Ropes were called ropes.”

“And so were the snakes. Ooooook then, not to rag on your world’s version of O&O or anything, but that’s preeeettty dumb. Next you’re gonna tell me bats aren’t called bats or something.” Garbunkle said, and boy, did he really say it. Holy shit, did Zelda really have such stupid naming conventions? Nah, it couldn’t, it wasn't like that at all.

“Erm… Well, they're called Keeses, actually. But they are basically bats.” You say in a half hearted way, starting to feel a little embarrassed that this was now all making you have this horrible realization. But maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t all bad. “But hey, that’s how the game was, even chickens had a different name, they were called cucoos. Basically, no animal took a traditional name in the game.” You explain, feeling a little more confident that you pointed that out.

“Really? So what are dogs, turtles, and rabbits called?” Garbunkle asked. He was starting to now realize what you meant, and thought maybe it was cool that this world had its own style of naming things. So thinking of some of his friends’ pets, he asks what their unique name was.

But oh boy, did your argument just fall apart ridiculously quick. “U-uhm… Dogs, turtles, and er… Rabbits.” Ugh, the look on your face could be misconstrued as a near death experience. How could you lose a debate over something from your old world? To Garbunkle of all people?! No, fucking Spike! Sheesh!

Garbunkle just looks back at you, rolls his eyes, then gives you a half slitted but serious look. “... And you don’t see how dumb that sounds?”

“I mean… When you put it that way… Actually, if you want a real world example, what about you?” No fuck this, he wants to make fun of Zelda? It’s payback time!

“Uhh… What? I’m a wizard, that kinda comes with the clothes and staff.” Garbunkle answered, confused as to what you meant by ‘what about you?’

“No, I mean you, Spike. You’re a baby dragon, right?” Here we go. Time to make sense of this nonsense right now. Because why the hell is he still called a baby dragon at this point?

“Well, yeah. Why?” Garbunkle asked, not knowing where you were going with this.

“Don’t babies babble? Also, you’ve known Twilight since she was a foal, same with Shining Armor. Now they are a mare and stallion and you’re still a baby?! How does that work? Doesn’t that sound stupid? Or do you really like being called a baby?” There we go, Anon, lay down that smackdown.

“Hey! I’m not a baby in that sense! And… Er… I mean… Dragons age differently? I mean, I grew up once.” Garbunkle exclaimed, feeling defensive over the fact that his title of ‘baby dragon’ kind of made him sound like a wimp. He felt that is what you were comparing him to, a wimp. “So there.”

“You grew up because you got greedy, and went back to being a baby when you stopped. So what, does that mean you’re gonna be a baby forever?” You say as you began to smirk, feeling you actually won this argument.

“Ok, ok… Sorry, I shouldn’t have insulted your game. C-can we just drop it? And er, never use the word ‘baby’ in that context? Really doesn’t do anything good for my image.” Garbunkle finally realized he had lost, and now knew his complaining about names and titles were rather misplaced when it came to his own. He then mutters under his breath. "Geez bro, way to take things way too personally"

“Will you two hush? Look over there, at the town center.” Wuz said as he dashed off and away from the main street, and hid behind a building as he beckoned to the three of you to hide beside him. “Small pig creatures are dancing around that statue, and I’m sure they’d hate to be interrupted.”

Oh shit, no wonder there weren’t any enemies about, they seemed to be having a party in the town center! There were small pig creatures, standing upright, still made of paper of course, sitting, drinking, and dancing around a statue of a large menacing pig man holding a trident, garbed in a black armor with a stone cape, his expression filled with cruelty and hatred. “Oh geez, those are bokoblins. And that statue? That’s Ganon. They must be doing some sort of tribute to him or something.”

“Wow, for being a pig, he actually looks kind of scary. No wonder they call him the Demon King. Ok, so most of the baddies are having a party, so does that mean we just take the long way around to avoid em’?” Garbunkle asked, knowing going straight into battle against such a large group would be a fatal mistake.

“That would be the wisest idea. Although, if we get caught taking the long way around, we’ll be backed against the outer walls of the town. We’ll have to be extra careful, and make sure not to alert any suspicion. Moonlight, you will need to have your smoke bombs ready. If we get caught, we’ll need to raise our chances to… Wait a moment, where is Moonlight?” Wuz looked around, noticing Moonlight had suddenly left the group.

“Oh no! She’s walking right towards them! What is she doing?! MO-GADFASGF” You were about to yell to Moonlight to get her back to the group, but Garbunkle grabs onto your mouth to keep you from screaming your name out and alerting everyone in the town of your location.

“Conan! Relax! Hold on! Didn’t you two notice? She’s wearing some weird armor, probably belonged to those lizardfos guys she beat. I think she’s going to try to trick them to get us through the middle of town.” Garbunkle said, with a strange sense of optimism you nor Wuz had. Seems Moonlight was no longer scared of the town now that goofy looking paper pig monsters ruined the spooky aura of the area.

“...Or she’ll get herself killed! How is she supposed to handle that many Bokoblin?!” Like how the fuck could he hold you back at a time like this?! What the hell was Moonlight thinking?!

“Actually, we would most likely successfully rescue her… Then get obliterated. So yes, Garbunkle, what gives?” Wuz asked, he too confused and annoyed that Garbunkle would seemingly be alright with the entire campaign being fucked.

“Come on guys, look at the amazing rolls she must have gotten to bring down those goons guarding the drawbridge. She has an amazing charisma stat and natural diplomacy due to being a princess. She’ll most likely be getting at least a plus four on her rolls. All we gotta do is believe, and I’m sure she’ll make it happen.” Oh yeah, he was putting A LITTLE too much faith into Moonlight. You don’t know what got into her all of a sudden, but holy shit, now was not the time to push RNGesus.

“Misplaced… But, this is O&O, if that’s how she wants to play her character, then fine, we’ll stand at the ready, ready to rescue the damsel.” Wuz said, prepping his bow and ready to jump in to save Moonlight the moment there was danger.

“Cripes… We’re gonna get murdered, I swear…” You say as you stand back, readying your axe.

“Come on guys, we just gotta stay optimistic. I got a shield spell ready to go the moment things go sour. Captain Wuz, you just pelt them with arrows while Conan rushes in and grabs Moonlight. If we stick to the plan, we might be able to make something happen, ok? Stay positive.” Garbunkle tells you both, hoping to raise the morale of the team.

“Oh trust me, I’m not willing to let those greasy bacon bits lay a finger on her. And I’m sure Conan feels the same way…” Wuz say, with determination in his voice. But then suddenly, the seriousness in Wuz’s eyes leave him as he looks to you both with a need for an answer. “I don’t sound too cheesy, do I? I feel things have suddenly become much more serious than when we ever fought the likes of the ‘Squizard’”

“Nah, you're fine. Given how everything looks darker and moody, it fits the tone.” Garbunkle said as he gave Wuz a thumbs up.

“What?! How could you guys suddenly not take this so seriously?!” Like what the hell?! Discord you could understand, but what the fuck Spike?!

“Uhh… Dude, we can’t actually perish, remember? You got sliced by your marefriend, like, ten minutes ago, and you’re totally fine. But man, I do not feel like losing this campaign, I’m excited to see what the final battle is gonna be like.” Garbunkle said, as he filled with excitement over the thought of taking on Ganon.

You? God, why did he have to remind you how easily you got sliced? “... Yeah, whatever… Let’s just be ready… Ok?”

As for Moonlight herself, she walked up to the Bokoblins, still in the middle of their ritual, and hailed them with a deep and grunting voice. “Hello fellow monsters, I am a lizardfos… A lizardfos with news!”

All three of you slapped your hooves and claws to your faces. Holy fuck, this was already a trainwreck.

The Bokoblins all stop their dance, and silence fills the air as they stare at Moonlight with suspicion. One Bokoblin with a jeweled adorned blue helmet stepped up to her and asked “You no look like lizardfos, who are you?”

“Uhh, A lizardfos who was born… differently?” Oh man, she was already faltering.

The Bokoblin just lunged forward and removed the helmet from her head, and squealed as he pointed towards Moonlight. “INTRUDER! INTRUDER! READY SPEARS AND SWORDS! SKEWER THE INTRUDER!”

Moonlight screeches as she ducks her head, the small army of Bokoblin grabbing their weapons and jumping towards her for a quick finishing blow.

But suddenly, they all bounce back as a shield suddenly appears, but easily shatters upon the combined strike of their weapons. “Ah geez, I didn’t get a good enough roll to keep it up. Captain Wuz, hurry up and back up Conan!”

“Already on it!” Captain Wuz aims his bow true, and releases a volley of arrows towards the Bokoblins. He successfully managed to skewer quite a bit of them with his arrows, slowing them down enough for you to rush in and pick up Moonlight.

“Gotcha!” You yell out as you grab onto Moonlight and throw her on your back, running back to the group as quick as you can.

“Anon? Anon! You… You saved me! Just like when-” As soft spoken as Moonlight sounded right now, you all were now in the middle of an escape as the Bokoblin regrouped and rallied up to chase you all through the town, so you couldn't really enjoy her admiration for you. You interrupt her and let her know she had to save it for when you all actually got out of danger, and that a smoke bomb would be appreciated at this moment. Moonlight, regaining her senses, nods and throws down one to make evading the chasing hoard that much easier. Unfortunately, the smoke produced from the bomb wasn’t too dense. In a last ditch idea, you four venture into an abandoned shop in hopes you wouldn’t be noticed. It was dangerous as it would leave you all cornered, but you all had no choice at this point.

Garbunkle quickly locks the door, and peers out through a peephole. You yourself just take deep breaths, scared out of your wits as you put Moonlight down and ask. “Did they notice we went in here?”

“Doesn’t look like it, but they didn’t keep running either. Looks like they are trying to figure out where we went.” Garbunkle replies as he continues to look through the peephole “Anypony see any back exit anywhere back there?”

“Exit?” Moonlight says as she looks around, not noticing any other door in the old abandoned shop. “I… Don’t see any exits. There’s a lot of blue balls with ropes on top of them though.”

“Hmm? Blue balls with… Oh, hahaha” Wuz lets out a soft chuckle when he notices what she’s talking about. “Those aren’t balls, Moonlight, those are bombs. Interesting, we appear to have ventured into a bomb shop. Sad we are too cornered to really make any use of them right now.”

“Yeah, be careful. If any of those get lit right now, not only will they know where we are, but we might get blown to smithereens.” Garbunkle warned as he continued to watch the bokoblins through the peephole.

“What about this one? It looks like a cute toy!” Moonlight asked as she picked up a cute looking golden mouse like toy with blue ears. “It’s so cute and… Oh, hehe, that tickles! It’s scurrying on me.” Moonlight giggled as the toy suddenly came to life.

“Oh, that’s just a…” OH GOD! THAT MOUSE TOY ISN’T A MOUSE TOY! THAT’S A FUCKING BOMBCHU! “Moonlight! Watch out!” You rush up to her and grab the bomb out of her hoof, slamming down onto the ground as you cover the bomb with your body. “... Ngh… Why me?” Was all you could say as the bomb exploded under you, sending you up into the ceiling, and causing you to fall back down onto your face… Thank god for that passive head defense bonus.

“Anon! A-are you ok!...” Moonlight cried as she ran up to you, and held your soot covered body close to herself “Oh no... You’re ok, right? Are you hurt?” She said as she began to tear up, overwhelmed by your heroism.

“J-just my pride…” You whine, before looking up at her with a broken smile. You were happy she was at your side, but damn did you feel sore.

“Ah geez! Those Bokoblin guys heard the explosion! They're coming this way! What do we do?!” Garbunkle said as he began to panic “Guys, we might have to use my teleport right now to get us all back out of town!”

“What?! We can’t do that! The town would be covered in guards the next time we try to press through! I say we just make our stand here, and fight!” Captain Wuz said, unwilling to back down from such a threat. “I refuse to be bested by pig things! I will not have this adventure blow up in my face!”

Blow up in my face? Blow up… HOLY SHIT! THAT’S IT!

You spring up from Moonlight’s grasp and shake the soot off your body as you cry out “Eureka! I got it! I know how to beat them!”

“You do?! Well spill it then! We don’t got a lotta time here, Conan.” Garbunkle said as he saw the Bokoblin gather around the door, preparing to break it down if need be.

“Get the bombs, gather all the bombs, all of them! And put them right in the middle of the shop. We’ll get behind the counter, and when they get close…” As you start to mention your brilliant plan, Garbunkle realizes what the endgame is and finishes your thought.

“I light em up when they step inside! HAHA! Now that’s using your barbarian noodle, Conan. Alright everypony, they're gonna be busting through the door soon. Let’s get those bombs rounded up!” Garbunkle announced.

What followed were you, Moonlight, Wuz, and Garbunkle gathering all the bombs that were stored within the shop and throwing them towards the center of the floor while the door banged from the Bokoblins trying to gain entry. The door was sturdy enough to hold them back just enough to get all the bombs in place and get into position.

Finally, the Bokoblins break in, rushing inside like rats to cheese as they readied their weapons to take any living thing within the shop out. However, they stopped, confused when they noticed none of you were in sight, the only thing being around was a pile of bombs.

Garbunkle then peeks his head out, and looks to the mob of pigs with a smirk. “Yo, over here!” He waved to them, gaining their attention. “Sorry you guys missed the party, but we’re still willing to end things with a blast! Bomb voyage, fellas!” Garbunkle tells them with a evil looking grin, right before breathing out a flame that thankfully, despite it being a mere ember, was enough to light one of the bombs. You all duck your heads and hold on to your ears as the Bokoblins are caught in the ensuing blast, blowing them all upwards and outwards out of town as paper shreds. In fact, upon all of you looking around, the entire shop was basically non existent at this point, save for the counter itself.

“Geez, this is one sturdy counter.” You comment to yourself as you give it a tap, it barely even moved. "No wonder why Link couldn't even break wood with a sword, super sturdy."

“Enjoy the decor later, Conan, we have our way through the town now! Let’s hurry on to the tower before anypony else shows up. Also, those puns were simply terrible. Like, I think I lost my dinner after that. I’m serious too, just up and left and got blown to smithereens with the rest of the pork chops.”

“Or maybe you just had EXPLOSIVE diarrhea, Hahahah!” Man what a good pun, so good in fact that everyone looked at you like were a gross idiot and… Oh geez, ok… Maybe you went too far. “Erm… Let’s just go.”

“Yeah, erm… Anon.” Moonlight moved over to you, and whispered these words to your ear “Don’t ever say that kind of thing around my parents, or when you’re at a dinner party with them. I think my Mother would disown you forever if you said that... Or something worse.”

C-cripes… Ok then. “N-noted.”

And with that, you all ran back to the center of town, now devoid of the Bokoblin militia. After that, you head back down the main road, towards the tower’s outer field, where the tower itself stood in the back with its horrifying aura.

So it doesn't keep all the rolls it seems. But Basically, Diamond made a decent first roll when talking to the bokoblins, only to critical fail on the next line of dialogue. Spike made an ok roll for a weak shield to protect Diamond while Discord made a much better roll of 16 to hold back the hoard of Bokoblin.

Diamond's smoke bomb roll of eight was simply not enough to make a full evasion of the Bokoblins, but the escape into the shop got a roll of sixteen, a good enough roll given there was still some smoke to cover their entrance.

The final roll was on Spike's ember, which given he's a dragon, he'd only need to roll a one to fuck up making a tiny spark to light a fuse in the first place. well, maybe a two too.

As you all crossed into the inner field in front of the tower, what was once a peaceful meadow was now a desolate plain of dead land and lifeless trees. The area itself had been evidently ravaged, as boulders ripped from the very mountainous region around the meadow were blown away, as if by a magical force that wished to display its strength. Even further ahead, the black castle-like tower stood, above a moat of lava, with a black drawbridge, wide and long, being the only way to get inside it’s gigantic doors. It was odd, there wasn’t a drawbridge like that in ‘Ocarina of Time’. So at this point, you knew for sure this was its own Hyrule. The tower itself had three spires in a triangle formation on each side, with a huge spiraling tower in the center going straight up. The castle part itself was menacing, with outer spikes everywhere, jet black in their coloring.

“Yuk! That’s Ganon’s Tower? Ew, so not royal material. I wouldn’t even spend a single bit to buy it if it was on sale. Who designed this place? A goat?” Moonlight said, finding the entire sight more than grotesque in her upper class way of thinking.

“I think that’s the point though. This isn’t supposed to be royal, it’s meant to look scary.” Garbuncle said as he stopped his trek, narrowing his eyes as he gave the tower a look over. “Weird though, no guards or nothing. What gives? You didn’t make it too easy for us, right?” He said as he looked over to Wuz.

“Oh, I’m sure there’s some sort of guard or monster waiting for us to approach.” Wuz said, bow at the ready.

“Yeah, probably. In fact, I bet the moment we approach that bridge, some big dude or big monster is gonna come through the front door. Question is, do we fight it? Or do we run?” You ask, brandishing your axe for a moment as you rub your hoof along the edge. “Because, man, it’s kind of embarrassing to have gotten chased around by Bokoblins. I wanna break something, something tough”

“Yeah! Me too! Oh…” Moonlight’s ears folded as she looked to the group apologetically “Sorry about that, by the way. I was pretty sure I’d be able to convince them to let us through. They looked pretty stupid to me, and I have a high charisma stat. I just don’t know what happened.”

“Bah, don’t sweat it Moonlight, it happens. You probably just got a bad roll, that’s all. None of us are mad about it, really, we all have our moments. Like when Conan made that jump earlier!” Garbuncle points out, making everyone but you have a small giggle about it.

“Oh right, that was pretty silly. Why did you try to make a jump like that, Conan?” Moonlight asked you, curious as to why you’d try to impress everyone with a mighty leap… Only to fail miserably.

“Uhh… I just wanted to get up high to… er, survey the area.” You say, making a false grin at Moonlight and hoping she buys it.

“Oh, that would have been a smart plan if you got up there. You’re so smart” Moonlight says, impressed by your thinking enough to give you a cute pat on the head.

“I’ll… Let you have that one, Conan. Ahrm, in any case, if we are to fight, then let us get things rolling, shall we? If we stand around for too long, then those in town might think to check near the tower.” Wuz, feeling generous enough to let you have your lie, says, wanting to move things along as even he was getting anxious about the silence in the area and the fact they were already noticed from before.

“I’m with the Captain. Let’s just get to the doors before something pops- Oh… Never mind, something is coming through em’. Huh, well, at least we know Ganon was waiting for us. Ah well.” Garbuncle, noticing the doors were already starting to open, rushes to the start of the bridge and prepares his staff. “Ok everypony, battle time! If we keep em on the bridge, me and Captain Wuz can just blast em. Conan, Moonlight, you guys handle whoever gets close, o-... Wait. It’s just… One knight guy?” Indeed, Garbuncle was befuddled as a rather large quadruped knight started to step forth through the doors in a rather sluggish fashion. It was donned in so much armor that it made it appear larger than what it could be, it was about the size of a taller and very muscular stallion; it’s hind legs seemed to be equipped with bladed axes for very gruesome bucks. But as imposing as it was, it really was slow, very slow. The weirdest part was that it wasn’t a paper figurine.

“That’s it? One dude? Geez, this isn’t even beginner tier. C’mon, I could blow that guy up in my sleep” Garbuncle complained, expecting a bigger challenge than some lumbering knight. “What gives, Wuz? It doesn’t even look like it’s part of the game”

“No idea, actually. I know the adventure has taken some life of its own as per my design. But that’s uh… Rather pathetic and odd.” Wuz was a little stunned himself at what he was seeing, then shrugged with a chuckle. “Ah well, it just means I won’t need to waste any arrows. Calm yourself friends, I’ll handle this with my regular iron blade. “ Wuz just calmly walks over to the armored horse and knocks on it’s helmet, getting no response from it other than it’s continuing movement. “Hello there, let me just say that I find it rather drole that you don’t seem to get the point of being an imposing guard. But don’t worry, I’ll fix that rather soon. Hyah!” Wuz thrusts his knife into the armor of the knight, but it simply bounces off and out of his hand, causing it to fall away from the bridge and into the lava below. “Hmm… I guess he really didn’t get the point. Garbuncle, his defense is very high, would you mind ca-” But in a flash, the armored horse moves swiftly to the front of Wuz, and bucks him so hard that the axes don’t even get a chance to penetrate him, but the hit itself was enough to send him flying back past the group and into a boulder, causing it to shatter. And worse still, he just laid there, unmoving.

“Discord!” You yell out, actually fucking worried that the guy was hurt. Holy shit, was that a critical?! “Holy crap!” You yell out as you rush up to him, and check if he’s ok. “Yo, are you hurt?! I didn’t think you could take a hit that hard. Geez, he sent you flying!”

Wuz just looks at you with a dizzy look, raising a talon, and says “Mommy, I don’t want to go to school today, it’s still on fire from when I set it ablaze yesterday and I don’t want to ruin my perfect skin. You know what heat does to it.” before plopping down onto the ground, knocked out.

“Ohhhh crap.” He physically took that hit, and given he was in character, it actually seemed to hit him that hard without any of his usual chaos magic to dampen the blow. That bastard, how dare he slap Discord like that?! Well, it was an impressive slap, but you still won’t let it through. You ready your axe, turn around, and start rushing towards the bridge and towards the armored knight. Who, at this point, had to be a ponified Iron Knuckle. Oh yes, he'd taste your unbridled rage. “TAKE THIS! YOU ASSHOLE!” You yell out as you jump up, ready to drop your axe on its face. “HYYAAAA! THIS IS FOR CAPTAIN WUZ!”

You bring your axe down successfully on the armored menace, but it only cleaves a little more than halfway through the dense metal. “Ah, crap…” You mutter as you now try to remove the axe from it’s helmet before it made a move. Alas, you fail to remove it as the armored menace raises its head quickly to throw you up, then quickly turns to buck your body right towards Wuz in a similar fashion to his defeat. You land right beside him, twitching. “O-gh, g-guys… That thing… is tough.”. Luckily, or unluckily, you were a barbarian, and so you still had enough in you to stand up. Did you want to, though? That hit was really hard.

“Oh man, that thing is fast when it wants to be! Ok, Moonlight, it’s just you and me now. You’re a thief class, right? Do you have any explosives on you?” Garbuncle asked as he readied his staff.

“I got some bombs of my own, but shouldn’t we check on Wuz and Conan? I-I don’t think we can beat that thing by ourselves!” Moonlight said as she took a step back, the Iron Knuckle had already stepped three quarters of the way through the bridge, and didn’t look like it’d slow down.

“We can’t turn our back on it. Look, sometimes this is just how battles turn out. But we still have a chance, see?” Garbuncle points with his claw towards the axe sticking from the Iron Knuckle’s helmet. “Conan cracked its armor. I’m gonna try a freezing spell to slow that guy down, all you gotta do is rush in and slam a bomb right in that crack, ok? Once its helmet is gone, we’ll have a better chance of taking it out.”

“But what if I mess up?! I-I don’t think I could do it… Not after what happened in town.” Moonlight said, feeling a despair from her prior screw up that nearly ended the adventure prematurely.

“We told you not to worry about it! C’mon, so what if you messed up that part? You still got us into town with some really amazing rolls. Even if we get some bad rolls now, as long as it doesn’t get close, we can still try again. Just trust in yourself, ok? We need you! Conan needs you… Er…” And that’s when he realized he could just say just a few other words that would probably give her the courage she needs. “I mean, Anon needs your help. So please, let’s take this guy out together, alright? We can do this! We can totally take this guy!”

“Anon? Ngh…” Moonlight looks back at you, she could see you barely getting up, and trying to get back to the fight. You looked so helpless now, like she did when you saved her. She hated it, she hated seeing you so weak and helpless, to know that you lost to something like this. No, she wouldn’t have it, not like this. She looked back at the Iron Knuckle, with determination filling her heart, and gave it a readied stare. “Ok… You’re right. This guy hurt my Anon, and I swear, I’ll make him pay! YOU HEAR ME?! YOU’RE GONNA PAY! AND I DON’T MEAN IN BITS! BUT I’LL MAKE THAT HAPPEN TOO BECAUSE DOCTORS ARE EXPENSIVE! NOW GET READY, TIN HEAD!”

“That’s it! Alright, here we go! Take this, metal face! Freeze Blast!” Garbuncle readies his staff, holding it forward as it glows a bright blue. In a flash, a shining blue bolt comes out of the orb at the end of the staff, hitting the Iron Knuckle directly as the magic courses through its joints. While not totally immobile, the Iron Knuckle was now slowed to that of molasses, its legs stuck with ice that spread from it’s hooves down to the floor below. “Ok, Moonlight, go for the crack!”

“Here I go! TAKE THIS!” Moonlight rushes forward, and throws her bombs towards the helmet of the Iron Knuckle. But her aim was so off, they fly backwards from her hoof and blow up in Garbuncle’s face, sending him flying back so far that he crashes into you, finally bringing you both down for the count as you both roll into Captain Wuz. “...O-oh no… SORRY!”

The Iron Knuckle however, cared not for any of this, but even with its dedication to move forward, Garbuncle’s ice spell still managed to keep it in place as it tried it’s best to break from its icy bindings.

“Ngh… I can’t… You hurt Anon. I... messed up. But if I don’t do anything, Anon will… He’ll. NO! I WON’T FAIL MY ANON!” Moonlight brandishes her dagger, and flies high up “HERE I COME! EAT THIS!” And like a bomb, she starts to drop towards the Iron Knuckle, knife held out in front of her for a dive strike, holding you in her thoughts to keep her powering on through. Amazingly, she successfully stabs through the crack as she jumps back. The helmet now had an axe and a dagger sticking out of it as the helmet itself looked as if it’d shatter at this point.

The Iron Knuckle now was moving more angrily, and once again attempted to free itself. But it just wouldn’t budge.

This was it, Moonlight’s time to shine, to be your rescuer. She takes out another bomb, and looks at it with hopeful eyes. She brings it to her mouth, and gives it a kiss. “For you, Anon.” And with that, she throws it towards the helmet of the immobilized knight. Unfortunately, her bomb flies off her hoof once again, and towards the entire group, causing them all to blow upwards, and then fall down on top of themselves, all of them groaning in pain.

The Iron Knuckle was now really struggling, and while beginning to finally crack the ice, was still unable to free itself.

“THIS STUPID GAME! THOSE STUPID BOMBS! THIS STUPID KNIGHT! YOU HEAR ME! YOU MADE ME BOMB MY SPECIAL SOMEPONY! I’M GOING TO SUE YOU! YOU HEAR ME! I’M GONNA SUE YOU WITH MY FACE! KNOW MY NAME! FOR I AM DIAMOND TIARA, YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE! REEEEE!” Moonlight, in a rage and screaming like a bat out of Tartarus, flew up and just bashed her face right on the helmet. Or she would have, had she not missed her mark and slapped her face right on the ground, causing her to become dazed. “U-Ungh… Ugh… Ngh… W-why do I… feel a connection to Anon right now? I-is this love? or something else?”

The Iron Knuckle, with a mighty kick, finally breaks out of the ice. It turns its attention to the fallen Thief Princess, and prepares to finish her off. To bring victory for his piggish master.

“Ngh… Spike, Spike…” But no response, he wasn’t answering to your call. “D-dammit, there goes a… Heal… Ngh.” You slowly reach to your belt, and remove a single throwing axe, and with blurry vision, attempt to hit the Iron Knuckle to grab its attention. It was a long shot, but if you hit, it’d give Moonlight one last shot to do some damage. “Fly true, little axe.” And so you throw it as hard as you can. You had hoped for a critical roll, maybe enough to destroy the helmet, but alas, you only hit the ass part of the armor, causing the Iron Knuckle to only look away for a moment… Moonlight’s last moment. “DIAMOND! NGH… TRY ONE MORE TIME WITH THE BOMB! YOU CAN DO IT! I BELIEVE IN YOU!”

But could she? She was scared now, she just couldn’t hit the damn thing despite it being so slow. She turned to her back, laying on the ground as she looked up at the menacing knight. She removed yet another bomb, as it turns out, her last bomb. If this didn’t work, they’d all be doomed. “Please… Please work. I promise, Anon, it'll work. Hyah!” And she throws it… And misses. Not a critical miss, but it just flies off the side of the bridge. “O-oh no…”

The Iron Knuckle, unphased, raises its upper body up, and brings it’s hooves down towards Moonlight. Luckily, it didn’t seem to be too accurate a slam as she’s able to easily evade it with a roll. But even then, her morale was down. She had no more bombs left, and one good hit would most likely do her in. Essentially, if that Iron Knuckle could get a good enough roll, the adventure would be over. All she had left were throwing knives. She took them out to use them as melee weapons, but in her scared state, the Iron Knuckle found the time to attack yet again. Luckily, Moonlight was quick, and once again evaded the attack, but only out of fear of being hit.

“Please, I just need to break that helmet… So please, if anypony can hear me, just letting you know that I’ll pay you a ton of bits if you make this happen, k? K… H-here I go...” And with that, Moonlight dives right for the helmet, attempting to strike her knives through the cracks to try to shatter the helmet. Unfortunately, they hit an undamaged part of the helmet, the blades snapping in half on impact. “WHAT? I SAID I’D PAY YOU! FORGET THIS! I’M JUST GONNA POUND ON IT UNTIL IT’S DESTROYED! I WON’T LOSE! I HATE LOSING! ARGH, I NEVER LOSE! NGH! YOU MADE ME BREAK MY PROMISE TO ANON! G-GGRRAAGGGH!” Indeed, an old flame had reignited and burst through the heart of the young princess, filling her with a fury and hatred she had not felt in a long time. Sending her in a final desperate bid to win through a berserk rage “I ALWAYS… ALWAYS… ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT! DO YOU HEAR ME?! ALLLWWAAAYYSS!”

The Iron Knuckle, unimpressed, simply tries to smash its head towards Moonlight. But she was still quite evasive, and with her renewed vigor, was even harder to hit than before.

Moonlight angrily latches herself onto the helmet of the Iron Knuckle, and smashes her head onto the helmet. She actually successfully lands a hit, causing it to crack even further. Perhaps… with one more hit. “STUPID THING! JUST GO DOWN ALREADY!”

But it paid her no heed, and tries to bring its head down to the ground to smash the latched thief into a pancake. But like an annoying bug, Moonlight easily scurries along the helmet to avoid coming into contact with the ground.

“EAT THIS! I’M TIRED OF YOU! YOU UGLY IDIOT! YOU’RE THE WORST THING EVER! AND I WILL NEVER EVER BOW TO YOU! GRRRAGH!” And she brings her face down upon the helmet again. And somehow, in some way, the blow was strong this time. So strong, it finally shattered the helmet of the Iron Knuckle, causing it to suddenly stop, and fall over, unmoving.

“W-woah!” Moonlight cries out as she falls along with it, losing her grip and rolling onto the ground and onto her belly. “N-ngh… Ugh, stupid thing. Why did you have to… Hm?” When she looked over, she could see the shards of the helmet on the ground, as well as her dagger resting by your axe, near the front of her. When she looked further, she could see that the Iron Knuckle had finally fallen. Her eyes went wide, she… She actually did it! “OH MY GOSH! I DID IT! I DID IT! WOOO!” She suddenly jumped up, excited and ecstatic, amazed that she actually managed to take down such a monster. “WOO! I DID IT! DID YOU GUYS SEE THAT?! I DID… Oh…” When she looked back, she could see you were all still on the ground, utterly defeated. “U-um, D-don’t worry guys… Coming to help!” And so she trotted off towards you all, to try to bring you all back up.

Ugh, sure you all won. But this had to be the most humiliating way to win... Ever.

5(knife)-20 (buck) - 14 (Axe) - 3 (remove) - 19 (buck) 17 (Freeze Blast) - 1 (bomb) - 4(escape) - 14 (dive strike) - 3 (escape) - 1(Bomb) - 9 (escape) 1 (head bash) - 15 (escape) - 13 (throwing axe) - 7 (bomb) - 9 (stomp) - 7 (stomp) - 9 (throwing knife) 8 (head smash) - 13 (Head Bash from Moonlight) - 6 (Head Smash) - 19 (final head smash)

These were the rolls.

And not even joking, two fucking 1s. Essentially, I was willing to end this adventure early based on either the Iron Knuckle's or Diamond's final rolls. Diamond lucking out with a roll of 19 at the end. And fuck, I actually laughed my ass off that Discord, of all people, got his ass knocked out by a 20 and Anon a 19. Poor fellas.

“Of all the sessions, in all the campaigns, I don’t think I had ever suffered such a humiliating defeat. Yes, Anon has suffered many in the few games he has played, but me? Oh, I suppose it’s true what they say… It has to happen at least once.” Wuz said as he took a chug of health potion given to him by Garbuncle.

“Don’t even…” You say, annoyed at such a prospect as you take a swig of another potion provided by Garbuncle. “At least I can say I get obliterated by dice rolls. You? You just walked up to the guy and let yourself get slapped. For an archer? That’s more humiliating than anything I’ve ever suffered.”

“...Including getting cleaved in two by your marefriend?” Wuz says as he looks to you, smirking as he rests his head on his paw.

“I… Yeah, fuck off, you all don’t have to keep mentioning that.” You growl as you down the rest of the potion and fall on your back. “Whatever, at least the guy is beat. Weird that there’s a helmet under that helmet though, you think Spike and Diamond can figure it out?” Indeed, you and Discord had somehow ended up getting the most hurt, and sat back to recover while Diamond and Spike investigated the living armor.

“Ah, if you mean Garbuncle, he should be able to with his detection spells and Moonlight’s investigative abilities.“ Wuz takes a short breath, stays silent for a moment, then begins to speak in a softer manner. “She was worried there, once again fearing she ruined the game for everypony.”

Hm? Was he talking about after the battle? Yeah, Diamond was heavily apologetic for dropping the bomb twice. Luckily, Spike was pretty cool about it, saying it was probably revenge from the dice gods for his lame bomb puns. And you and Discord were able to explain to her that sometimes it just happens, and reminded her that she still took the damn thing out while the rest of the party was down. That alone was enough to pick her up and… Er, maybe make her a bit cocky about it. What was odd though, was Discord taking the moment to actually sound like a caring Dad. He’s done it before, yes, but this was more as if he had more of a… Family.

“I mean, two critical misses is pretty bad. That was partly the reason I wanted to quit myself, I kinda got sick of always rolling them. I guess… That makes me sound butthurt, huh?” Yeah, saying it now, it really did.

Discord chuckled “A little, but I can’t say I’m feeling a little burn on the posterior as well when it came to being crit shotted. It’s why, in the end, I love this game. All at the roll of a die, its own kind of chaos. But something is different about tonight, and do you know what that is?”

“Heh, let me guess, we’re playing as a family? Funny, I thought you’d save those feelings for if Fluttershy ever wanted to play.” You said, caught a little off guard by Discord’s current mannerisms.

“I did too… But I guess all this future marriage business has opened my heart to allowing another member of the family in. Besides, look how quickly she got used to the game, especially given her proper background. It makes me so proud…” Discord said as a tear appeared in his eye. He sniffed, then took a moment to wipe it from his eye. “She’s a keeper, Anon, for sure. Not that I would know, but you know.”

“Yeah, heh. Y’know, at first, I didn’t really want to deal with all this actual love business. But it isn’t so bad. Sure, I gotta wait for the sexy stuff, but at least she’s kind of traditional in the way love works. Y’know, loyal… Not cheating on you or anything. That sort of thing.” You say, looking to Diamond with a soft smile, actually happy to be able to be at her side.

“I know, probably a good thing she never prys into your personal thoughts too. Or else being split in half would be the least she would do to you.” Discord says, having a small laugh at the hilarity of it.

“Ugh… Way to ruin the mood, Discord.” You say with a groan, resting back and looking up at the dead dark sky. “And the mood this place is giving off isn’t good to begin with.”

“Yes, it is quite dreary. Though, it seems Garbuncle and Moonlight may have discovered something about our armored friend. Who knows, maybe their discovery will lighten things up.” Wuz said as he slowly stood up, wiping the dirt off his tunic as he began to walk forward, with you getting up to follow from behind.

“And you’re sure you know nothing about why it isn’t… Y’know, paper or anything?” You inquired. It really was odd that it was an actual suit of tough metal armor.

“Not in the slightest. I am interested though, very interested. It seems when creating this entire campaign that I may have let my control slip and overdo things.” Discord lets out a sheepish, and yet somehow confident, chuckle “Oh dear, it means ANYHTING can happen at this point”

Which lets you give out a nervous chuckle of your own. “Ha...Ha? And why do you make it sound like a good thing? I’ve already taken enough of an ass beating today, Discord, and…” Oh god, something just hit your brain that made you feel not only gross, but would kill any boner you would have had at this very moment. “Please tell me you didn’t go overboard with enemy types. I’d rather not be surprised vore’d by a goddamn Like-Like”

“Then you better keep on your hooves then, because even I won’t know what to expect at this p-” Discord stops when he finally notices what caught Spike and Diamond’s attention. “-oint? Uh huh, I was only being half serious about what I just said. But that is certainly unexpected.”

There was a pony knocked out within the armor, the helmet that was under the large helmet of the Iron Knuckle thrown to the floor. It seemed the under-helmet was indeed normal pony sized, though its reasoning to be and why it was used under the larger helmet was unknown. What was known was that the pony within the armor was none other than…

“Holy Celestia, is that Applejack?!” Spike gasped in surprise. “It is, isn’t it?! What is she doing here?!”

“Oh my gosh! Oh no! I called an element of harmony an idiot! Even worse, its Applebloom’s sister! I’m soooooooooo sorry! I didn’t mean to… Wait.” Diamond, in her fearful shock, came to a stop when she realized something. “I just beat an Element of Harmony. Does that mean I level up, or that I’m just straight better than Applejack?”

“Probably both, but let’s just make sure that is indeed Applejack.” Discord said “Her mane doesn’t have the ponytail and she’s missing the hat.”

“Yeah, that is kind of weird, could be a mimic for all we know. So how are we going to figure out it’s her?” You ask. Why would Applejack be in that armor? How did she get in there? Was that even her? If it was, it explains why the armor was real.

“Easy…” Discord immediately pulls out a huge megaphone and points it directly at Applejack. “APPLEJACK! IS THAT YOU?!”

“WHAT IN TARNATION?!” Applejack nearly shot out the armor like a bullet, her entire body vibrating from the gigantic blast of noise that caused the rest of you to cover your ears. Like holy shit, that was fucking overkill. Even with covering your ears, they were ringing inside your head.

“Hm, she said ‘tarnation’, guess it is her.” Discord said with a gentle laugh as he tosses the megaphone off the drawbridge and into the lava below.

“Applejack? What are you doing here? How did you end up in that armor? I didn’t even know you played O&O.” Spike was in disbelief at what he was seeing. Sure, Big Mac may have not seemed the type to play the game either, but he was still much more likely to play than fucking no nonsense Applejack.

“Play what now? Ugh…” Applejack groaned as she began to rub her right hoof in her ear. “What even was th- Discord?! What are ya up to this time? What’s the big idea knockin’ me out like that?!” Applejack immediately looked to Discord with disdain, and even ready to buck him the moment she saw him.

“Excuse me?” Discord said, looking at her with a now unamused expression as he raises an eyebrow. “What I’m up to is playing O&O with my family and Spike. And I have no idea what you're saying with that last part…” Discord then looks to Spike with a shrug “Seriously, I don’t, her accent is so thick.”

“There ain’t nothin’ wrong with the way I talk, Discord. And I ain’t fallin’ for yer tricks neither. You know darn well I know what yer silly game is and if ya expect me to believe that’s what’s goin’ on here then you must think I’m dumber than a cat in a dog pen.” Oh yeah, you could even see steam coming out of Applejack’s nostrils, she was pissed.

“But uhhh, Applejack, that’s exactly what we’re doing. We didn’t know you were in the game, honest.” Spike assures her while putting his hand to his chest like he was some sort of boy scout. “Discord, you didn’t do this as a prank, right? I mean, the only other way she could have ended up here is if she walked inside the pocket space. Wouldn’t know how she ended up in that armor, but either way…” Spike then looks back to Applejack, sure that Discord was innocent. “I’m not going to go accusing Discord of anything until I see some proof he did something wrong. And yeah, I know he’s usually shifty when he has done something wrong, but the guy just took a crit without trying to change the roll, which means he's been pretty honest the entire adventure.”

“And what does that even mean?” Applejack asked, utterly lost in what Spike meant on that last part.

Maybe it was that moment you just had with Discord, added to the fact you do care about him, but you really didn’t like Applejack accusing him without proof… Even if it was odd that she was here at all. “It means he’s been legit all night. And Spike is right, the only real way to get here is by stepping through the border between Equestria and this pocket dimension. Which then begs the question, what are YOU doing here? As in, why come to the castle?”

“Ah came to get some rest. Girls have been making a ruckus and yet Granny Smith doesn’t even want me tellin’ them to simmer down. No idea why, but it got me thinking the only way I’m gonna get any sleep was to stick it out with Twilight and…” Applejack stops for a moment, as if her mind was retracing her steps. “...Hrm, It was pretty dark out in the Cutie Map Room…”

“So what you’re saying is that you may have stepped in here by accident?” You ask, as that seemed to now be the most logical way she got into Hyrule… Although that didn’t explain being stuffed inside that armor.

“...Well, Hmph.” Applejack lets out a dismissive grunt as she raises her head in defiance “Even if ah did, it is mighty irresponsible to be makin’ portals in a place everypony has got to pass through to get anywhere in Twilight’s castle. In fact, ah think that was on purpose. Y’all still haven’t explained how I got knocked out and stuffed in that tin can.”

Diamond, surprisingly enough, was slowly and very obviously getting tired of Applejack’s accusations towards Discord. To her, that was already a second father to her thanks to you, and element or not, she would not have anyone speaking against him unless there was some sort of proof. But she remained calm and courteous, as this was still an element, a friend of a princess she respected. “Maybe Ganon stuffed you in there, he is the guy we’re going to smash after all, so it makes sense he captured you and made you his guard… A guard I beat, by the way. Yeah, he’s the kind of uncool slimeball pig that would do that sort of thing… I think.”

“We’ve also always played our sessions in the main hall anyway, Applejack. I don’t want to really take sides here, but you should have been more careful.” Spike felt like he was walking on eggshells at this point. To him, it did sound like Applejack was in the wrong, but he didn’t want to upset her further either.

“Ah said it was dark, didn’t I? And besides, ah don’t even know who this feller Ganon is and ah don’t care anymore. Ya’ll say it ain’t Discord’s fault? Fine, I’m willin’ to accept that, maybe I should have been more careful… Maybe. Now somepony point me to the exit, Ah gotta get my rest for tomorrow morning.” The usually stubborn Applejack was actually willing to give Discord a free pass, if only because she wanted to get some sleep. But you could tell, you could just tell, that she still blamed Discord and thought he did something underhanded to trap her in that armor.

“Hmph, before we do anything else, I think I deserve an apology.” Discord said as he put his arms to his hips, looking to Applejack for the words he wanted to hear. “I’ve been honest and yet I can tell you still blame me anyway. It's very hurtful.” Discord, of course, wasn’t truly looking for an apology. He just wanted to make Applejack do something she didn’t want to do for his own amusement. But of course, being the stubborn horse she truly was…

“I ain’t apologizing for nothin! How are ya even gonna ask for any sort of apology when me endin’ up in that thing is definitely yer fault! Yer magic, yer fault, Discord, and I ain’t havin’ none of it!” Fuck, Applejack really was pissed off. Normally, you’d probably understand as you’d probably be pretty pissed off too being stuffed inside such stuffy armor while trying to get some sleep, but you truly believed Discord had nothing to do with it and felt her accusations were uncalled for. Hell, you could even see Diamond was getting further upset by her rage. So fuck it…

“Hold on! Hooold on! Ok, Applejack, relax. I get it and I understand. Let me talk to my Dad, one on one, and get this settled, ok? And then we’ll get you sent back.” You tell her, hoping this would calm her down some.

“Finally… Thank you, Anon, at least you understand how important a good night’s sleep is.” Applejack said, giving a quick stink eye to Discord as she genuinely thanked you.

“Yeah… C’mon, Dad, let’s go talk.” Yep, you didn’t really like Applejack’s attitude towards Discord. Plus, as you thought about it, the campaign was already turning out more difficult than you thought. So you take Discord aside and a small distance away from the tower, and begin to speak one on one with him.

“Are you really taking her side, Anon? Are you serious?! If I was responsible for her being here, then I’d obviously being toying with her at this moment. And while I understand her not believing me…” Discord suddenly wraps a toga around his tunic as a rubber knife sticks out of his back “Et tu, Anon?”

“Relax, Discord, geez, I’m on your side here. Just be honest with me, you really had nothing to do with sticking her in that armor?” You ask, having to make absolutely sure he had nothing to do with it.

“Remind yourself that she managed to crit shot me, and then wonder if you had to even think of asking that question.” Discord said, tapping his foot at you impatiently.

Well, actually… That does sound pretty truthful. Discord wouldn’t have put Applejack in an armor only to be one shotted by her. “Ok ok, I get it, sorry. So, let me ask you this then, you just wanna force her to play with us, right?”

“Annnnnnnd why would I want that country bumpkin to play with us? And don’t even try to remind me about Big Mac being her brother, he is beyond compare when it comes to actually having good taste. Did you even hear what she was saying? She thinks the game is stupid! Why would I ever want to play with her?” Discord was flabbergasted, he really was wondering why the fuck you’d ask such a stupid question.

“Truthfully? We need a meat shield, we’re getting our asses handed to us and I don’t think we could take another beating. Given what we have gone through already, I don’t mind bringing her just to soak up the hits. Besides, she’s being a fuckface anyway.” You were irked by Applejack’s attitude. Hell, everyone was, she was just being a stubborn cunt.

“Anon!” Discord said in horrified surprise, even slapping his paw to his cheek. “Using Applejack as a meat shield? How terrible.”

“Wha?” You were actually perplexed by his reaction “I would have thought you’d be totally ok with it. What gives?”

“What else?” Discord shrugs “ I am feeling a large amount of compassion in my heart. Why, I’d even say your plan to use her like that is downright rotten. Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t fully support your plan simply because it will be hilarious, but you really should know better... Ahh well, shame on me for not raising you better." Discord said with a snicker as he began to rub his talons and paw together.
"Oh yesss, this will be top notch humor. Let’s see…” Discord pondered to himself for a moment, then raised a talon as an idea donned on him. “Ah! I got it! All we have to do is simply explain that there is no way out of this campaign until it’s finished. A lie, I know… But she’s such a gullible stick in the mud that she will undoubtedly believe it.”

“HA! Perfect! Ok then, that should make sure we get through this tower and whup Ganon’s ass without any problems. Now let’s go give her the good news.” Ohhhh baby, this was gonna be funny as fuck.

And so you both returned to the group. Applejack still looked pretty ticked about being stuck in some armor and trapped in a pocket dimension, though her tone of voice was considerably calmer by now. “So, it’s settled? Can I go now?”

“Ummm, actually…” You fake a cringing grimace as you shift your eyes to the side “Turns out…”

“That I may have REALLY overdid my magic on this little adventure. Seems none of us, not even yours truly, can leave until the campaign is resolved. Sorry about that…” Discord said with a sheepish chuckle, almost sounding facetious

“WHAT?! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE CAN’T LEAVE UNTIL THE CAMPAIGN IS RESOLVED?!” Spike jumped up in absolute panic. Diamond though? She was just looking on, curious as silent. "THERE'S SCHOOL TOMORROW! I CAN'T BE TRAPPED IN HERE! TWILIGHT WILL NEED ME!"

“R-relax, Spike, let me explain. It’s errr… Kinda like when I overdo my magic. Just uh, welp… turns out Dad can make the same mistake, right Dad?” You look to him, looking rather sheepish yourself.

“Right… Very embarrassing. It seems, Applejack, you’ll need to join us on our quest. Strength in numbers, am I right?” Discord says with a shrug, looking at her with a more dishonest grin.

“Ohhh no, I ain’t gonna get any more tied up in this rodeo. Ahm gonna sit right here until y’all finish whatever y’all gotta do.” Applejack said as she plopped her butt on the ground. “And if ya find mah hat, make sure ya bring it to me safe and sound.”

“Actually, Applejack, Discord is kind of right. If you join our party, we’ll have a better chance at winning the game. We can just kind of copy Big Mac’s character over to you, and give you a new name.” Spike explained, fully in agreement with Discord’s plan.

“I ain’t playing this stupid kid’s game. I don’t mind a little fun once in awhile, but this whole place is a fantasy y'all are wastin’ time in, especially with how important things are for tomorrow… Spike, ahm surprised at ya, y’know you need a good night’s sleep to help Twilight out tomorrow, she’s really gonna need your help.” Applejack said, stomping her hoof down to help emphasize her point.

“Stupid?” Discord growled, his eyes flaring up as he looked to Applejack with anger. Spike, just kind of looking away at the shame of it.

“W-woah, hold on… Relax…” You tell Applejack, but really, you mean your words for Discord as you shoot him a quick glance, still talking to Applejack as you do so. “'Stupid' is a little harsh, isn’t it? I mean, Big Mac does play the game too.”

“And ahm only really ‘ok’ with it because he at least is responsible enough to get his rest. Unlike Discord here, who is so irresponsible he trapped us all in here for Celestia knows how long. I ain’t doing with this, no way, no how. I’m gonna try to rest right here until this whole thing is over.” Applejack said, being ridiculously stubborn at this point.

“Don’t you think you’re being unreasonable?” You finally ask. Sure, fine, she was upset, but goddamn!

“Only one unreasonable ‘round here is your dad. No offense, Anon, but all this happening ain’t no coincidence. He loves to cause trouble, and given the fact we can’t even leave? Oh yeah, I know he ain’t up to no good… I can just tell.” Applejack says, as she narrows her eyes towards Discord, eyeing him up and down to see if he was being outwardly distrustful.

Fuck… Well, she did have some right to be this upset. But fuck man, she’s being a bitch! And looking at Discord, you knew he loved the attention, but this was the one time he was getting sick of Applejack's sass.

All of you were silent though, Discord though, looked like he was finally gonna pop off. But then, out of nowhere… “That’s it! I can’t stay quiet anymore! You may be an element, and Applebloom’s sister, but I won’t let you insult Daddy Discord like that! That’s almost like insulting my Anon! Also, this game is really really fun! How could you not want to play? Ok, so Daddy Discord made a small mistake, it doesn’t mean you should be all mean about it. And, everypony is right, if you come and help us, we’ll get out of here that much quicker. You have to play.”

“My A-, Diamond Tiara?! That’s you? Does your Daddy know you’re here this late instead of sleepin’ for school tomorrow? Oh gosh, Discord, are you serious?! You even got an inn-” But Applejack is cut off as Diamond hops up in a rage of her own.

“Don’t ignore me! And stop insulting my future Daddy-in-law! I will not have that in my presence! So now, two things are going to happen. You’re going to refer to us as our character names, and you’re totally gonna march your butt right into that tower! Or else!” Diamond barked, hopping up and down while she pointed at Applejack.

Applejack simply raised an eyebrow, she was in disbelief that even Diamond, the daughter of Filthy Rich, was somehow in on this. She thought the little bat was just part of the game, not Diamond herself. “... Or else what?”

Diamond gives her a dark smirk, and hovers upwards to whisper something in her ear. Applejack’s face, as this went on, went from annoyed to utter despair, her coat turning slightly white as her ears fold downwards, her pupils shrinking to peas. She then looks to Diamond, who went back to the ground with a cocky smirk on her face, and asked. “A-are ya s-serious?” In which Diamond just nodded to that with a self satisfied smile on her face. Applejack, now looking utterly spooked, just looked to the party silently for a moment… And then started making her way to the tower entrance. “Well, what are y’all waiting foreth? Let us goeth into this tower, ya’ll...eth” Applejack said with fake cheer as she walked.

What… in the fuck? WHAT IN THE FUCK?! Holy shit, all three of you just looked to Diamond with utter shock and surprise at what she just accomplished! How?! How in the…

“...How did you do that?!” Spike asked, amazed. “Nopony else is able to get Applejack to not be stubborn, so how did you…?”

Diamond just walked over to you, nuzzled under your neck a bit, and then looked to Spike, still smiling that smarmy smile. “My Daddy has a business relationship with Sweet Apple Acres, and it’s very important for the Apple family to retain that relationship. So… All I had to do was tell her that I’d beg Daddy to end his business with them, that’s all.”

FUCKING JESUS! “Were you really going to do that? I mean, over all this?”

“Of course not, my silly hunk of a colt” Diamond says as she gives you a sultry yet dominating snicker “I’m just bluffing. Daddy would never EVER actually do that, no matter how much I asked. Doesn’t mean I still can’t SAY that he would though. Now, come on! We have an adventure to see through!” Diamond, or rather, Moonlight said as she excitingly began to follow Applejack towards the tower doors.

Discord, still in shock, just slowly looked over to you and said in a calm fashion. “Anon, I expect grandchildren. Do you hear me? Grandchildren, with that soon to be mare, you better make that happen. You better make me a Grandadonequus, I swear.”

“...Yeah… Will do…” Like holy shit, that was fucking hot. OH god, did you like her more when she was acting more aggressive and kinda like her old self? Maybe? Ohhh, and that bat form… UGGHHH, just live with it, Anon, you only have to wait like eight more years… Right? Even then… Way too long.

And so there you all were, inside the belly of the beast, Ganon’s Tower. The main hall of the tower was actually rather simplistic. All the walls were a dreary jet black, as was the ceiling, and before you was a floor panel protected by a magical barrier of some sort, as three floating gems, colored red, green, and blue, floated around the barrier. Indeed, these three crystals seemed to be generating the barrier itself, and they themselves were protected by barriers representative of their colors. Under the barriers were a beam of energy that went down and then across the floor, each leading to a door that had Ganon’s mug as a frame.

But of course, the first word out of anyone, was Jackapple, who was bitching about the chainmail armor, small kite shield, and sword she was carrying around. “Why do ah gotta carry around all this junk? I’m a farmer pony gosh darn it, I let my hooves do the talkin’”

“And why are you complaining, Jackapple? We’re the ones who have to deal with your dumb name. Seriously, you couldn’t have come up with anything better?” Captain Wuz whined at her, finding her name unoriginal and boring. “Even I put some effort into mine. All you did was swap your syllables, very unimaginative indeed.”

“That’s because none of you were gonna let me keep mah name, which is a fine name, by the way. Now where is this Ganon feller? I got a bone to pick with him.” Jackapple retorted, looking around for the villain you all sought.

“Dunno, this whole place is kinda different than what we’re used to.” Garbuncle said as he looked around. “But I’m guessing that floor panel in the barrier has something to do with it, it's probably some sort of teleport pad or something. Question is, how do we disable the barrier?”

Of course, you already figured this one out. It was pretty obvious given your extensive video game knowledge. “We gotta knock out those crystals. But we can’t even do that until we clear each room that represents its color. And given the colors are the same as our weapons, I’ll bet a million bits that each challenge has to do with wisdom, courage, and power. So everypony, which challenge should we tackle first?”

“Well, I say we do wisdom first. We’re still tired after that big fight outside and I bet power probably has another big idiot for us to face. Plus, we’re all super smart, especially my An- er, Conan… Er… I mean Conan is pretty smart for a barbarian.” Moonlight says, with confidence both in her mind and heart, and especially, in you.

Wuz just snickers at Jackapple for a moment, catching her attention. She just looks at him and says “And what’s so funny? You makin’ fun of her slip up, Discord?”

Wuz immediately went from amused to a little peeved as he looked down at the paladin knight. “No… What, you didn’t catch it?”

“Catch what?” Jackapple said, unamused at whatever seemed to hit his funny bone.

“ANOTHER big idiot? As in, the original idiot issss…” Wuz begins to roll his arms at her, pointing at her to try to get her to realize that she was in fact, the first big idiot, but she just wasn’t getting it.

“You? Oh, ha!” Jackapple snickers “Ah get it, cuz you’re the biggest out of all of us. Makes sense to me now.”

Wuz just grips his talons and paw together in frustration, then points to Jackapple “As in you! You’re the big idiot!”

“Now that don’t make a lick of sense and you know it. I ain’t the one who trapped us here, and I ain’t bigger than you, so clearly she was talkin’ about the biggest one in this here room. Now let’s not waste time, you hear? We gotta go do whatever challenge they were talkin’ about.” Jackapple says in a dismissive tone as she begins to follow the rest of the group into the blue marked door. The rest of the party had already decided to move on, and had paid no attention to the little quarrel between the archer and the paladin.

Wuz just groaned to himself, slapping his paw to his face. “I...Ngh… Grr…. Uggggh…” He had no retort, he was just bemused by it all. And so, without a way to counter Jackapple’s misunderstanding, he too just follows the rest of the group into the chamber beyond the door.

Within the chamber was a similar looking room to the first, only this time there were no other doors other than the one you all came through. only three large stone tablets hovered side by side in mid air and some sort of blue colored magical generator seemed to be in the room. Though, as the last of you step through the door, it suddenly snaps shut as some sort of constant beeping noise suddenly fills the room.

“Oh geez! It’s a trap! How did we not think to check for one of those?!” Garbuncle said in a sudden panic as he looked back at the door, and gave it a kick to try to reopen it. “Were we supposed to figure out which one was the right door?! Are we doomed?!”

You already knew that wasn’t the case. It was probably just the usual Zelda puzzle on some kind of invisible timer. And given these floating tablets, the solution most likely has to do with solving them. “It’s not a trap… Well, it kinda is, but it’s a trap with a solution. Relax, all we gotta do is figure out what these tablets are all about and solve them.”

“Solve em, hm? What do they even say?” Jackapple said as she approached one of them, and squinted her eyes as she began to read the one in the middle. “What shows your reflection, and yet cannot be placed. It gives life, but takes it away if you pass through it. What? What’s all this malarkey?”

Wuz rolls his eyes as he approaches the tablet “Its obviously a riddle. It seems all three of these tablets hold riddles for us to solve. So I’d suggest we all start thinking before that timer goes off. Now, given my skills, I already have the riddle somewhat sol-” But Wuz is suddenly cut off by Garbuncle, who immediately announces his own answer.

“Its water!” He announces. “It’s gotta be! It sounds close to a riddle the Power Ponies had to solve to beat 'The Puzzler'!”

“Water? Puh, how could that possib-” But again, Wuz is interrupted as the tablet suddenly crumbles, which in turn causes him to react in disbelief. “B-ly… be… W-w… Ok then. But this next one is mine. Let’s see. What has no hinges, no lock, no-”

But you then cut off Wuz as you stand proud and smug, proclaiming that the answer is… “Egg.”

“Egg? I didn’t even…” But again, the tablet crumbles, further irritating the archer. “How?! I mean, from him… How?”

“Wow, Anon!” Moonlight said with a cheer, impressed enough to come over and give you a gentle nuzzle. “You’re a genius! how did you figure it out so quick?”

“I read it in…. Uh, I mean… It was just obvious.” You had to thank J. R. R Tolkien for that one. Oh yeah, sweet sweet nuzzles.

Wuz’s eye was twitching, but he wouldn’t let himself be defeated this time! He looks over to the last tablet, clears his throat, and says “Aha! This one seems the most difficult. But worry not fellow adventurers, Captain Wuz has got this one. Now then, let’s see… A strong chain that binds two together, and yet it is flimsy should the two become apart. And even still, the chain will remain strong no matter the distance… WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! I’m the master of all things chaos and yet somehow that makes no sense to me! And so…” Wuz just falls on his ass, looking blank faced as he realizes his own failure. “We’re doomed.”

“Oh Daddy Discord, I know you know that one, because without it, you wouldn’t be Anon’s father… And without that chain, he wouldn’t be my coltfriend either. I get it though, you want me to solve it. The answer is love!” Moonlight announces adorably, causing the last of the tablets to crumble to dust. With all three tablets destroyed, the beeping noise stopped, the generator in the center of the room falls apart, and the door clicked again with the sound of a lock becoming unlocked.

“Woah… Did we do it?” Garbuncle asked as he tapped the remains of the generator.

“Ah ain’t hearin’ that beep noise anymore, I guess that means we done it. Huh…” Jackapple began to ponder to herself as she looked to the now victorious party. Although she herself didn’t participate in solving any of the riddles, it did seem… kind of fun to have to try to figure them out on a time limit. “Ah guess that wasn’t too bad neither. Kinda… lookin’ forward to seein’ what’s up next. If only because it’ll get us closer to buckin’ that Ganon into next week.” Of course, due to her pride, she didn’t want to admit that any of this seemed fun to her.

“Well, since that went by so fast, why don’t we do courage next? We’re already super brave and stuff, so it should be no problem. C’mon, lets go everypony!” Garbuncle says as he waves his arm, leading everyone through the door to the next challenge.

However, Wuz kind of just stood there, looking forlorn at the events that had just occurred. It prompted you to stop, and take a few steps back to check on him. “Discord, you alright? You’re looking pretty down all of a sudden.”

“Me, down? W-why would I be down? Certainly not over the fact that I, the master of chaos and riddles, somehow wasn’t able to solve a single one. No, I’m perfectly alright with how embarrassing that situation was. Why would you even think I was ‘down’ about it?” Wuz says, sounding rather broken up, his demeanor being rather shallow and transparent to even you.

“Well, I mean, aside from that one riddle you got the mane six with, I didn’t really get you as a riddle SOLVING type of guy.” You say, which immediately gets an aggressive look shot at you. “Ok, ok, maybe you are. But come on, obviously you are at least a little rusty. And well, the first one Spike got from a comic, me from… I admit I got it from a book… Don’t tell Diamond that though. And Diamond probably got it because she’s really into this whole ‘love’ thing. So yeah, it was kind of stacked against you.”

“You think so? So are you saying had you all not known the answers already, I’d have been able to solve them all? Thus proving my superiority over all of you?” Discord said, as his eyes began to shimmer with hope.

“W-well, I didn’t say-” But before you could finish your sentence, Discord just stood up and walked past you, stuck in his own self-admiration.

“Oh yes, that certainly is it. I truly am the best, as if I’d ever somehow not be able to solve something Anon could. He’s such a boob sometimes, a lovable boob, my boob, but still a boob” He said to himself as he walked out of the room.

“Gnh….ugh… Man, shit… “ Goddammit, why does he always ALWAYS do that?! That fuck couldn’t even figure out the third riddle anyway! As if he’d ever be able to figure out any riddle having to do with love and caring. Sheesh, what an ass.

With one room cleared, you all made your way into the chamber of courage. This room was even emptier than the last, with it only being a short thin hallway to the green magical shield generator. Like before, the door closes shut behind you all and locks up tight. However, with nothing visibly wrong, it didn’t really seem like too scary a room.

“So what? Do we just walk up to it? Like, have faith and move forward without hesitating or something? Because I don’t see any other kind of trap in the room. Weird too, I was expecting at least some sort of puzzle.” Really, you would have expected a tough puzzle challenge rather than a walk of faith. It was a game, after all, there really was nothing to lose by simply walking forward.

“Are you sure about that, Conan? This room could be full of traps. I dunno, since it's based off Moonlight’s weapon anyway, maybe she should check things out.” Garbuncle cautions as he eyes around the room, not trusting its rather simplistic look.

“Me? I can look for traps too?” Moonlight asks, unsure as to why she’d be able to do that.

“Yeah, you’re a thief. Thieves have a natural ability to sniff out traps. And since there is obviously a trap, you’re the filly for the job! Come on, give it a try! And don’t worry, even if you accidentally trip one, it's all because of the game itself. Better to take a risk then just accidentally trip an obvious trap anyway, right?” Garbuncle reassures her. He was right too, if there was some sort of trap, then it’d probably be better to detect it rather than risking just walking forward.

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Ok, step back everypony, I’ll figure this out!” And so Moonlight steps forward, keeping a keen eye open for any levers, pressure plates, or false bottoms while positioning her ears to catch any sounds that sounded off. And despite expertly surveying the area, she notices there is nothing around that could trigger a trap. “Hmmm… I don’t think there’s a trap at all. I dunno what it is, but I’m super sure I don’t see or hear anything.”

“...But she just looked around, she didn’t touch nothin’ or really look at anything. How do we really know there ain’t no traps?” Jackapple asked, perplexed that Moonlight’s mere looking about could uncover anything. "I've been in a trap filled castle before, so ah know about these sorts of things."

“Ughhh…” Wuz groaned as he walked over to Moonlight “Sorry to break immersion, but the ‘paladin’ here still doesn’t seem to understand how this game works. Every important action is decided by dice rolls, and our little wonder here just scored a twenty.” He says as he gives Moonlight a congratulatory pat. "I checked myself."

“A twenty what? Y’all didn’t really explain too much about how all this works.” Jackapple said, still utterly confused.

“Soooooooooooo dense.” Wuz said in a sing song kind of way as he pointed towards the shield generator. “It means, and I put this as simply as I can, that by the game’s rules, she looked over the area with perfect precision. Meaning, there are no traps to BY THE GRIZZLY UNDERBELLY OF TARTARUS, WHAT IS THAT?!” Wuz jumps back in surprise, grabbing Moonlight along with him when a giant wall of green flaming fury suddenly appeared in front of the generator… And began slowly sliding towards the party like a moving wall.

“What?! I thought I rolled a twenty! You said I rolled a twenty!” Moonlight shouted in a panic as she looked up at Wuz, upset that somehow her perfect roll didn’t detect whatever trap was set off. “What happened?!”

“I don’t know! Quick, does somepony have anything that ca… Oh what am I saying!? Garbuncle, now would be a good time for a mass teleport!” Wuz said, even he knowing that this situation couldn't be dealt with.

“On it!” Garbuncle holds his staff up in the air to teleport the team back to the previous room, but all he ends up doing is teleporting his staff instead. “...Oh boy”

“... Did you just! DID YOU JUST?! HOW COULD YOU ROLL A ONE AFTER SHE ROLLED A TWENTY! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! OK, I CALL FREAKIN’ SHENANIGANS, THIS GAME IS RIGGED!” You shout out. How in the fucking hell can there be a one after a twenty?! How did the twenty even fail?! Is this really how the adventure is going to end? Boiled alive by a fire wall?!

“... What in the wide wide world of Equestria has gotten into y’all? I don’t see nothin’.” Jackapple said, just looking utterly confused as to what was going on. The hell?! What, did she think she could buck that wall into next week?! What a fucking idiot loon she was.

“Uhhhh, DO YOU NOT SEE THE GIANT GREEN FIRE WALL THAT’S ABOUT TO BURN US ALL ALIVE?!” You yell out at her, pointing at the ever encroaching death wall.

“Uhhh… No?” Jackapple says as she begins to walk forward towards the wall. “Ahh dunno if y’all are pullin’ mah leg, because ah don’t see nothin wrong. Unless y’all don’t think I know how dice work. Ah do know how to play games too, y’know?”

“APPLEJACK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! SERIOUSLY, THIS ISN’T THE TIME TO BE STUBB-APPPPLLEEEJJJAACCKKK!” Garbuncle screamed in horror, trying to rush over to grab Jackapple as she walks into the wall and is instantly devoured by the green flames.

Moonlight just looked on in horror, then hid her face into Wuz’s chest to avoid whatever horrors that might come with a pony burning alive.

“Did she just…” She really did, she just ended herself right then, right there. How the fuck could she-

“Are y’all comin’ or not? Gettin tired of yer games, ah just wanna get out of here already. Got a Ganon that needs a butt whuppin' and I don't wanna keep him waitin'.” Said the voice of Jackapple…. As it came from behind the flaming wall.

“What in the… Applejack?! Where are you?!” Garbuncle called out to her, confused as to how she was able to talk.

“Ain’t it Jackapple? Ugh, ah really dunno how this all works. I’m just gonna smash this thing and move on to that next door.” She said, as a large smashing sound came from behind the wall. Suddenly, the door behind you all unlocks as the wall just… vanishes. Hell, she just walks past the group and just… leaves the room, too impatient to wait for everyone else. Leaving a now broken down generator in her wake.

“Uhhhh… What just happened?” Garbuncle asked, utterly perplexed at what he just saw. “Shouldn’t she be… Y’know… And what happened to the wall?”

Wuz slowly put Moonlight down, and just stared into the eternal abyss that was the nonsense that was going on during this campaign. “I… Don’t know either… Unless… Hmm...”

“... M-maybe… Umm…” Moonlight looked back near the door, and tapped her hoof down on the ground, creating a rather deep sounding tap that sounded as if some of the ground was hollow. “I did kind of notice that the ground here was weird, but since it didn’t have any kind of trap, I felt it wasn’t worth mentioning. It wasn’t a trap, right?”

You look back on the ground, and give it a tap yourself. Was this a latch? Was it supposed to open at some point? Why would it… “Oh god…” Suddenly, it hit you, your eyes go wide as saucers when you realized the retardation of it all. The wall wasn’t a trap, it was just an illusion that was probably created by the shield generator. The floor, it was supposed to open after the illusion got close. But it wasn’t this realization that baffled you. It was...

Illusion

Fake

Zelda

Fake Wall

Applejack

Element of Honesty

Couldn’t see the wall

Saw right through it with her eyes

Saw the truth

Through her eyes

Eyes of truth

Lens… Of truth.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING?! DID FUCKING APPLEJACK AUTOMATICALLY GET AN INNATE ABILITY TO SEE THROUGH ILLUSIONS BECAUSE ‘HUR DUR, HONEST HORSE’. ARE YOU JOKING?! HOLY FUCK! WHAT IN THE GODDAMN SHIT WAS THAT?! DID YOU ALL SERIOUSLY GET OUTPLAYED BY THE MOST BORING FUCKING HORSE IN EQUESTRIA BECAUSE SHE LITERALLY HAD THE POWER OF A ZELDA ITEM?! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! THAT PISSES YOU OFF SO GODDAMN MUCH! THAT WAS JUST NONSENSICAL. HELL, YOU COULD FEEL IT, THE RAW ANGER YOU FELT THAT YOU SOMEHOW LET A FUCKING, STUPID ASS, AND MORONIC ZELDA PUZZLE OUTPLAY YOU. ROOM OF COURAGE! YOU HAD THE RIGHT IDEA, JUST WALK FORWARD! GODDDAAAMMMMIIITTTTT!

“W-woah, A-anon, you alright?” Garbuncle asks cautiously as he taps your back.

You were so out of it that you hadn’t noticed everyone had already left the room, Garbuncle staying behind to retrieve you. “W-what?! Huh? Spike? W-where is everypony?”

“They went back to the main hall, dude. Diamond got worried too, but I told her you were doing an inventory check to calm her down. You ok?” Garbuncle asks again, calming down now that you seemed so lucid.

“Just… J-just… I mean, we just kind of got bamboozled. I even figured out how she did it, and it’s sooooo stupid!” You whined, like fucking damn, the explanation for it is soooo dumb!

“Yeah, Discord explained it already. Turns out she got an innate ability like your iron head. Yeah, he kinda had a mental break down of his own and looked at her skill list. Poor guy, I know how he is, he just wants to pull one win out of this adventure and it keeps giving him the slip. Pretty funny though, right? Saved our skins for s-GYAH! ANON!?” But you were not having any of that shit! It wasn’t funny! You grab onto Garbuncle and begin to shake him as you yell in his face.

“IT ISN’T FUNNY! IT’S DUMB AS BEANS! SHE’S A LITERAL ZELDA ITEM! THAT’S THE WORST PUN I’VE EVER HEARD! YOU HEAR ME?!” You scream out at him, even getting some saliva on his face.

Garbuncle just looks to the left, then right, then slowly moves your hooves away as he takes a step back and wipes his face. “O-oooook. Dunno what you mean by all that, but uhh… Anon? You alright? Or do you need to calm down?... Should I just go? You're really starting to creep me out.”

You just went silent… Of course he wouldn’t know what the fuck you were talking about. Fine! Let Applejack have her little unearned victory. Hell, fuck the last challenge. Ganon, you knew for sure, would be your kill. This time, you’d have victory. A victory that Diamond will look up to as she sees how great you are at killing magical murder pigs. “...Yeah, was just… hit with a mind… thing. I’m ok now.”

“Huh…” Garbuncle looked around as he scratched his head, confused as to what you could mean. “I mean… I didn’t see anything hit you. Then again, I was, erm, a little scared and maybe didn’t notice it. This whole place is a lot different than what you’d see in a typical campaign, so I guess that could have happened. Anyway, I gotta go get my staff back.” He said as he walked over to the door to leave the room.

Oh yeah, with your goddamn axe, you were gonna make some bacon. Fuck this noise.

https://puu.sh/DsxhI/8d6de1512f.png

I know... Don't even have to type it out.

(a 20...and a 1)

And so the final room awaited the party. And while everyone was seemingly pretty optimistic to take on the challenge, you and Discord hung back behind the group as you both muttered angrily to yourselves, both of you wanting the glory of a win. You decided however, that whatever is behind that door is getting a berserk’d deathblow to the face. A skill combination that does so much damage that it should obliterate whatever enemy you’re about to face in a single blow.

When you all enter the room however, you all noticed a good sized arena before you, square in shape, with the sides of the arena ending in a pit of certain death. However, you also all noticed there weren’t any monsters in the room. And just like both rooms before this one, the door locked behind all of you. No surprise.

“Huh… It looks like we’re supposed to fight something, but I don’t see anything, is it invisible?” Garbuncle asked as he took a look around the arena, spotting nothing.

Moonlight looks up, and notices that the ceiling had a huge hole in the middle. She points up to it, and correctly figures out what its purpose is. “Look, there’s a hole up there, maybe it's going to come down through that.”

“Interesting…” Wuz said as he pulled at his beard, not truly intrigued, but ready to murder whatever pops out of it. “Not a very good way to enter combat, now is it? Considering there is five of us, a coordinated strategy should be able to bring it down quickly. Or…” He readies his bow, and holds it at an angle that suggests a headshot “I can amaze you all with the most skillful shot you’ve ever seen.”

“Cut the hogwash, Discord. We’re a team, meanin’ we gotta use all our skills to take down whatever poor varmint is comin’ down that thing. It’s just like workin’ on the orchard with your family. If everypony does their part then there ain’t nothin’ we can’t do.” Jackapple comments, determined to take down whatever monster comes down through the hole.

“Woah… Appleja- Er, Jackapple. Sounds like you’re really getting into the game. That’s a pretty good strategy too.” Garbuncle was rather amazed, he didn’t expect Jackapple to actually invest herself into the current, or any, campaign.

“Er… Um… Don’t look too into it, ah just want to get this done already” Jackapple states as she shyly looks away. She was unable to admit that she was enjoying herself in any capacity, and so used her want to defeat Ganon and end the campaign to hide her growing admiration for the game.

But suddenly, there is a wooshing noise from the hole that catches everyone’s attention. Garbuncle is the first to enter a battle position as he raises his staff. “Get ready everypony, something is coming! Don’t worry, I got buffs coming out the wazoo for this fight, just don’t waste em, ok?”

“Ah don’t need no ‘buff’ or whatever that means, just give me two seconds with it and I’ll send it through the wall.” Jackapple states as she prepared herself, her nose snorting out steam as she mentally steeled herself for combat.

Wuz kept his bow at the ready, he didn’t even comment on how her just ‘bucking’ and not using her weapons would be a bad idea. He didn’t care, he just wanted the shot.

You? You were probably the most ready out of all of them. You knew you could gain first attack by bursting into a berserk rage on the word go. And with one well placed deathblow? Oh yeah, victory would be yours! All that precious glory to be had after the embarrassing moment in the courage chamber.

Finally, out of the hole, came a large piggish figure in red glowing armor with spiked shoulders. His skin was brown and his smile crooked. While his movements seemed rather boarish and heavy in nature, the large steel spear he was wielding showed he meant business. Jackapple, noticing his figure, comments in a rather confused fashion “Is that Ganon? Why is he all papery and junk?” Indeed, she was caught off guard that this hulking beast was just a living papercraft.

“Oh, that’s just how things are. All the enemies we face in O&O are typically just paper or papercraft p-ANON WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Garbuncle said in surprise, so taken aback as you suddenly rushed past him that he didn’t even bother to use your game name.

“ASFDSFSASDSA” You garbled out incoherently, drool spilling from your mouth, as you rush towards the papercraft moblin with your battle axe in your mouth. You went full rage mode as you jumped up in mid air, and aimed your weapon right at it’s head, coming down upon him. With a successful sl- WOAH WHAT?! YOU WERE SUCCESSFUL?! Well damn, the papercraft moblin is sliced in two, its red glowing armor sputtering out of control and then falling apart, thus causing the door behind you all to unlock.

“What… Just happened?” Garbuncle asked more confused than bewildered, he just slowly points over to you and looks to the rest of the party. “Did Anon just beat that thing in one hit?”

“I’ll be gosh darned, never seen so much anger in mah life, just sliced that thing right in two without even a care.” Jackapple was impressed. Sure, it was just papercraft, but seeing you rush in like a bullet and slicing the thing with such grandeur was amazing, even to her.

Moonlight just looked on in awe, with her expression becoming ever so dreamy as she suddenly began to fantasize about her hunk of a barbarian whisking her off into the sunset. She turned to Wuz, who was preparing his arrow, and sighed lovingly towards him. “Isn’t Anon the best?” She asked, as she looked upon you. You were now standing on your hind legs, screaming like an idiot, claiming your victory with primitive yells.

“A crown jewel…” Wuz said, aiming his arrow towards you. He was jealous, angered by the fact that you came in and took the already dwindling glory he’d be able to obtain by clearing the large monster moblin in a single hit. He was going to do it, he was going to shoot an arrow right in your head. He had been critted, out done in riddles, and fearful of his life all due to an illusion. And now? Outdone in battle? Nope, he wasn't having it.

“Why are you aiming an arrow towards Anon?” Moonlight asked, curious and confused as to why Wuz suddenly seemed so poised for another fight.

“There’s a mad dog that needs to be taken down…” Wuz said under his breath, lost in his own envy as he prepared to let loose his arrow.

“Oh… Um, can I ask you a question?” Moonlight asked, with a sugary sweet innocent tone in her voice. She just sat there, like a puppy, looking up curiously at Wuz.

“And what’s that?” Wuz said, barely paying attention. He hadn’t let go yet, he was hesitating for some reason, a reason that somehow didn’t click within his mind as the need for glory just kept his judgement clouded.

“Well, I just wanted you to be straight with me. I… Really haven’t ruined the game at all, right? Because I really mean it when I say it, I’m having a load of fun. It’s totally awesome! I can see why Anon loves the game so much. Just look at him, he’s so happy that he finally got a super good roll, it makes me feel happy for him. And this whole campaign thing you made? Well, I think it’s great! And it makes it even better that Anon doesn’t mind it being so easy. It’s weird though, right? He’s been excited and having a lot of fun since we started… And It’s all thanks to you, Daddy Discord.” Moonlight hovers upwards with her wings, and dives into Wuz for a tight yet gentle hug.

Wuz slowly stopped his aiming, gently releasing the tension of his bow as his arrow falls to the ground. “Y-you’re thanking me for all this? Despite the bad rolls? Despite nearly being defeated time after time? Despite Jackapple? You’re truly having fun?” He was stuttering in his voice, as he slowly but reluctantly began to realize why he did all this in the first place.

“Mhmm!” Moonlight said to him as she looked up to him with a smile “I mean, the times we messed up was pretty scary, but that’s all part of the game, right? This is seriously the coolest way to play any game ever! I love it! And I’m super glad Anon invited me despite it being a ‘guy’s’ thing. I-if you don’t mind, I wouldn’t mind being invited for another game… Oh, just never EVER let mother know about all this, ok? I mean, how the game actually works.”

“Why is that?” Wuz asked, genuinely curious as to why he shouldn’t tell her mother.

“Mother… Sorta really has a strong dislike for the ‘competition’ and ‘trash’ she deals with, even though they are all super important rich ponies too. I dunno, I just think she’d try to use you to set this up as some thing she ‘likes to do’. Then she’d invite them for a game… And the campaign she might wanna do might be super scary and hard, especially for them.” Moonlight explained to the best of her ability as to why she feared her mother, Spoiled, learning how the game works under Discord’s magic.

“Ahhh, as in trapping them in a fantastical realm so believable, that it’d scare them silly… Just for the funsies.” Wuz elaborates, which gets a nod from Moonlight as to that being exactly what it was. “Hmmm… Alright then. Against my chaotic nature, I will refrain from letting her know.” Wuz gently puts the little bat filly down, and gives her a gentle pat on the head. “Thank you, little Diamond… For just having… Fun.” Indeed, Discord is now reminded as to why he went through the painstaking trouble of creating this campaign. It was his jealousy, his jealousy that a clone was able to make you so happy with such a small gesture as giving you a treasure chest and electric hook. Despite the fact Four was gone, Discord wanted to one up him anyway, with a crafted Campaign that’d even get you invested to play O&O. Yes, part of him wanted the praise from you, and by extension, Diamond, for such efforts. And yes, he selfishly wanted a game night… But deep down, he did just want to provide you a bit of fun that would make you appreciate him more. But Discord knew, upon his head clearing, that you do appreciate him. Maybe not as much as he’d like, but you do… He just somehow forgot at the moment, that’s all.

“Thank you, Daddy Discord, for inviting me!” She cheers with a little happy hop.

“Yo, Wuz, Did you see that?! HAHA! I actually managed to slice the guy in two! Me! In one shot! Dannnnngggg, it feels good to be me!” You call out to Wuz as you approach him and Moonlight, wiping the frothing drool from your mouth as you strut around victoriously.

And Discord could see it. You looked genuinely pleased with yourself, genuinely having fun… Just like Diamond said. “I-I can see that. Ahrm… Did you have fun?”

“Heck yeah! The guy didn’t even have time to squeal! Just...SLICE! And he was done! Oh man… Look, Diamond, Dad… I know Spike is a bro and all, and that he has the staff of wisdom and bla bla… But come on! We should be the ones to take down Ganon ourselves, like a family! Maybe it’s all this pent up energy, but c’moooooonnnnnn… Imagine how Aunt Fluttershy would react knowing we all did it together!” You were still overtaken by your berserk rage, which had now become a delicious euphoria. Your eyes looked a little dazed, but you were also super focused on what you wanted, and what you wanted? Why, an awesome finishing victory of course. You had your glory, you killed something in a single goddamn hit, and so your frustration subsided. You were having fun, so goddamn, let's end it on a high note.

“Anon, wouldn’t your Aunt hate all the violence we’re doing?” Moonlight asked “She likes pigs and lizards, doesn’t she? We kinda been slicing em up.”

“Actually… Fluttershy is fine with Ogres and Oubliettes and its details. She’d never play, of course, but she knows everything is actually just paper, dice, and numbers. I often talk of our more riveting adventures during tea. So, I concur with Anon, I’m sure she’d be very happy to hear about this.” Wuz said, holding back tears of joy from your sudden willingness to do things together with him, and with Diamond too, of course.

“Yeah! Then let’s do it! I think that guy’s armor was the final generator too, so Ganon is probably just a teleport and a room away! Oh yeah, this will be soooo great!” Oh baby, you were ready to grill that bacon!

“Yeah! But er… What about Applejack? She sounded like she really hates Ganon, what if she gets him before we do?” Diamond asked, concerned that Applejack would go into a rage similar to your own and get the finishing blow.

“Pfft, she doesn’t even have any legendary weapons to hurt Ganon, she can’t do anything at this point.” Wuz said with a chuckle. "All her attacks will bounce off of him as if he were made of rubber... Explosive rubber."

Diamond then gasped, apparently horrified by this revelation. “You mean she’s just useless?! Does that mean she’s only good as a pony shield?”

Uhhhhh… “That’s oddly specific. Why do you think that’s all she’s good for?”

“Because I think we should totally let her be our shield. She’s been mean to Daddy Discord since we found her, she didn’t even thank any of us for rescuing her! I know she’s Applebloom’s sister, and an element, but she’s also super rude… She needs to be punished.” Moonlight said, looking over to Jackapple and Garbuncle, who were investigating the fallen Moblin’s folded corpse. She quickly stuck her tongue out at her, just not liking her current attitude at all.

“...Yeah, we’re totally onboard with that.” You tell her, trying to keep yourself from letting out any sort of evil grin. Because goddamn, was Applejack worst horse.

“Totally. haha! Well then, it seems we have a plan. Now, it can’t be helped if Spike does manage to land a blow or two, we just need to make sure we all get the finishing blow together. Sound good?" Wuz however, felt no such hesitation as he began to grin at the prospect of Jackapple getting slapped around by Ganon.

Both you and Moonlight nod in agreeance.

And with that, the party returns to the main room. The crystals generating the main barrier were now unprotected. Of course, you knew how to destroy them, as it was pretty obvious. You walk over to the red crystal and strike it with your axe, causing it to shatter into pieces. “Welp, that was simple. Ok Garbuncle, Moonlight, just strike the crystals that coordinate with your weapon and it’ll break the barrier.”

“Yeah, I know, this kind of thing happens in O&O all the time. Alright, let's give it a smack.” Garbuncle says as he smashes the blue orb with his staff.

“And when we do this, it’ll open the way up to Ganon?” Moonlight asks as she hovers over and slashes the green crystal with her dagger. Upon the crystal shattering, the barrier surrounding the teleport pad vanishes.

“It should, considering we have defeated the challenges within this tower. All that should be left is to step onto that pad, probably walk up some ominous staircase, and then open some doors that lead right into Ganon’s throne room.” Wuz said as he snickered to himself “I doubt he expected all five of us to make it to him in one piece. Shame… At this point, I was really hoping for a challenging fight.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can we just go kick his keister already? It’s getting mighty late and I’m already gettin’ tired.” Jackapple complained, wanting to press on already. Yes, she was secretly having fun, but she was still a responsible and very boring horse.

“Hold on, Jackapple. We should probably come up with a pro- Or you could just step on the teleport pad and leave without us. Ugh… So, any ideas on what we should do when we face this guy?” Garbuncle turned to you, Wuz, and Moonlight for ideas.

“I mean, do we really need a strategy at this point? He casts dark magic, so just hit us with a dark barrier and wail on the guy. It’s a beginner’s campaign, he shouldn’t be that tough.” You suggest, having Garbuncle use a turn to cast a barrier should give you, Moonlight, and Wuz ample time to finish off Ganon together with a mighty set of blows.

“I mean, ok? You two ok with just doing it that way? You don’t got a plan of your own, Captain?” Garbuncle turned to Wuz, asking for his opinion.

“I like Conan’s plan. Besides, Jackapple seems to really want to wrap things up. Given that Conan is right about the campaign, a little recklessness shouldn’t hurt us.” Wuz said to him.

“I dunno, our rolls have been really wacky this time around. But fine, if that’s how everypony wants to do it, I’ll cast a dark barrier then totally go all out on the guy… Which we should probably go see before Jackapple fights him one on one.” And with that, the rest of the party enters the teleport pad, sending you all deeper into Ganon’s Tower.

The final battle was at hand.

You had had stood on top of the teleport pad and ended up in a grand lobby. Around the party were horrible statues of the great demon king Ganon in various monstrous poses. The teleport pad back to the main room was behind you all. You all appeared right in front of it, all of you standing on a grand red carpet that went up a staircase.

You all prepared yourselves as the party cautiously climbed the stairs. As you all began to reach the end, you could see the grand doors to the next room had already been opened. “Hoo boy, she just couldn’t wait, could she?”

“Applejack has always been pretty stubborn like that. Ok team, so he already knows we’re all here. We lose the element of surprise, but it’s still four against one! Alright! Is everypony ready?” Garbuncle asked as he raised his staff, ready for a brawl

“I totally am! Let’s roast that pig!” Moonlight said as she hovered upwards and brandished her dagger.

“Well, we need to skewer him first.” Captain Wuz said with a smirk as he took an arrow into his talons, twirled it around, and placed it back in his quiver.

“Nope, we gotta tenderize him first! HAHA!” You cackle as you slam your hoof onto the ground.

“Alright then! Let’s go!” Garbuncle yells out as he kicks the doors open and rushes inside, all of you rushing in behind him.

The room you all rushed into was a large audience hall made up of spiked pillars, black stone walls and floors, and the red carpet stretching out to a large dark throne that looked cursed with its twisted design and spikes protruding from the sides. There were also doors behind said throne, opened towards the room as if someone had come into the room from the backside. Near the wall on the side of the throne laid Jackapple, knocked out cold. However, right next to the throne, was a brown coated unicorn in a dark desert colored armor with a dirty white cape flowing back. His mane flared red and flowed back, his eyes a deeper crimson red of evil. His horn however, was rather odd, it was black from the base and quickly transitioned to red as it went to the tip.

“That’s him! ” You pointed out, knowing for sure that was Ganon… Or rather, Ganondorf… Who you noticed also wasn’t made of paper. Whatever, you step forward from the group and point over at the evil wizard unicorn. “Alright Ganon, we’ve come to take you down! Your reign of terror ends here!”

“Reign of what now? Ugh… Why is there nothing normal in this tower? Look, whoever you four are, I demand to know what’s going on here.” Ganondorf said in a rather… flamboyant yet demanding tone, something you found really confusing, especially since it immediately sounded like he had no clue what was going on.

“Are you sure that’s him?” Garbuncle eases over towards you and whispers “I was expecting a giant pig monster.”

“Yeah, that’s him, for sure. This is his hum-... Er, pony form. His pig form is his second one.” You explain in a whisper.

“Oh… In that case…” Garbuncle hopped forward and pointed his staff towards Ganon “You know exactly what’s going on here, Ganon. Give up now or face the awesome power of Garbuncle, the most powerful wizard you’ve ever seen!” Garbuncle told him as he struck a heroic pose.

“Ganon? Ganon… Just like I told this fool, I’m not Ganon! Look, I don’t know how I got here, but if you can tell me where the exit is then I promise to make your servitude to me less painful than it usually is.” Ganon said to your party as he looked over at the throne. “And tell me who rules this land, I wish to bring him under my control as well.”

“Uhhhhh…” Moonlight was heavily confused, hell, you all were. “You do? This is your tower, right?”

“No, this isn’t my tower. I don’t know what you all are playing at, but I’m getting tired of it. Last chance, tell me how to leave this place or else you will suffer my wrath.” Ganon was getting annoyed, looking down at the party with growing disdain for the group.

You move over to Discord and begin whispering to him. “Yo, Discord, the hell is up with this guy? You didn’t foul up the final boss, did you?”

“Normally, I’d feel insulted by those words… But… I honestly have no clue. But he seems so familiar… I would even hazard a guess that he isn’t a game piece.” Wuz stated as he began to stare harder at the unicorn, trying to figure out from where he remembered him from.

“You’re not gonna fool us! You’re gonna fall here, Ganon! You’re gonna pay for hurting our friend!” Garbuncle announced to him as he prepared to jump back and cast a dark barrier spell.

“Hurting who? You mean the stupid earth pony? Oh please, she didn’t even give me the pleasure. She attempted to buck me and somehow ended up blasting towards the wall. Ha, it was rather funny actually, as it seems I have become more powerful through my mysterious revival than I had thought, even gaining a barrier to do away with any pests who try to harm me. But as amusing as that is, I truly do tire of this. I suppose I should at least subjugate you pathetic heroes and add you to my ranks, as I wish to have the Crystal Empire under my control before the next day starts.” Ganon stated as he brushed his cape back, looking like he was about to prep himself for a fight.

“Crystal Empire?...” Garbuncle suddenly stops, a horrid foreboding filling his mind as he points over to Ganon “Do you mean… the Crystal Empire Crystal Empire? As in the Crystal Empire Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor rule over? You don’t mean that one, do you?”

Ganon’s eye twitched when he heard those words, he slammed his front hooves down in annoyance as he proclaimed “No! There is only one ruler! One who rules over the Crystal Empire and all the pathetic crystal ponies who live within it! And that ruler is me! Learn my name well, simpletons, because I will no longer tolerate any mistakes. I am King Sombra, the one who rules over all your miserable lives, and you will obey me!”

“King Sombra… D-did you say, King S-S-Sombra?” Garbuncle suddenly felt his bravery fall as he took a step back, fearing that Ganon’s proclamation may in fact be the truth.

“I did… So, you have heard of me. Well then, will you finally surrender and show me the exit? Or do I have to crush you first? Both choices will have you under my control, it’s just one is significantly less painful than the other. So think carefully, this is your final chance.” Ganon said with an evil hearty laugh, finally feeling he was getting somewhere.

WHAT?! That couldn’t be! That couldn’t be the actual FACTUAL King fucking Sombra! You looked back at Garbuncle, who seemed to be reeling back now that an actual threat has presented itself. However, that didn’t stop Moonlight from stepping forward and bravely attempt to talk him down. “You’re King Sombra? The one everypony says Spike beat? Pah! I guess that means you don’t stand a chance against us if a baby dragon can take you down!”

“D-diamond… E-er, relax there. Not like we have a Crystal Heart to beat him with right now.” Garbuncle said in a fearful stutter, trying to calm her down.

“How dare you! How dare a foal even suggest such a thing! I was never truly defeated, I merely disappeared and bided my time until I could return and exact my revenge on those who ATTEMPTED to seal me. Do not think just because you are young that I will show mercy, all will bow before me, no matter whom it may be.” Ganon, or rather, King Sombra was losing the last bit of patience he had, he wasn’t exactly going to let a little foal boss him around or tell him what’s what.

Could you beat him? Could all of you beat him? What was the power scale between him and Discord…? Wait. You look over to Discord, and start barking at him. “HEY! GEEZ! ARE YOU GOING TO DO SOMETHING HERE!? THAT’S KING FREAKING SOMBRA! HOW THE HECK COULD YOU EVEN GO AND REVIVE HIM?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!”

But Wuz just shrugged with a smirk “I wasn’t, at least when it came to how much magic I was using to create this campaign. As for doing something, well, I thought things were going swimmingly already. But if you insist, I suppose I can do something.” Wuz stepped forward as he fiddled with his paws and talons. When he stepped ahead of the group, he simply waved to Sombra as he spoke in a loud and obnoxious voice. “SOMMBYYY, HOW ARE YOU?! IT’S BEEN WAAAYYYY TOO LONG!”

“Too long? What makes you think you’d even be worthy enough to even be remembered? Do you think I’d take the time to remember such a misshapen thing like you? I wouldn’t even consider you to clean the royal latrine, you’re that ugly.” King Sombra stated. Huh, either he somehow doesn’t remember Discord, or he just doesn’t recognize him.

“Oh come on, Somby, don’t be that way. I’m trying very hard not to break character here, since we’re still in the middle of our game. You really don’t recognize me?” Wuz asked, still keeping a rather pleasant tone towards Sombra.

“...I’ve lost my patience! As I said, why would I ever remember a worm like you!” Sombra said as he stomped his front right hoof forward, exhausted with all the shenanigans at this point.

“Ugh…” Wuz snapped his talons, causing his clothes, weapons, and hair to disappear as his true form is revealed. “And I’m getting tired of how blind you are. Really, how many beings do you know that look even half as amazing and handsome as I do?”

“The lord of chaos…?” Sombra said under his breath in surprise. He then narrowed his eyes towards him, and began to speak. “Discord? Ha, well pardon me oh chaotic one. Last I heard of you, the princesses had sealed you away.”

“Well…” Discord produced a black pot and kettle and scoffed at Sombra “Isn’t that calling the kettle black? Last I checked, the princesses had done the same to you, and then a baby dragon a thousand years after. Ohhhh, Somby, you were never one for humility. Which, quite frankly, just makes you look more foolish. King? More like jester.” Discord said with a hearty laugh.

“Grrr! Don’t mock me!” King Sombra growled “If you must truly know, setbacks DO happen. You were defeated, I was blindsided. I was busy forming a larger army to bring you down, and then use you to solidify my place as king of the Crystal Empire. I had no idea those worthless princesses would get the jump on me. You were a much bigger threat to deal with and therefore required absolute focus.”

“Excuses... And what do you mean by ‘were’? I’m still the greatest threat the world has ever known! I’m the spirit of chaos, remember? I could turn your precious empire into a strawberry in an instant if I so wanted to.” Discord crosses his arms, becoming less amused as the conversation went on.

“Oh, you know what I mean by 'were'. Entertaining foals, Discord? I can already tell the ponies of Equestria have tamed you like the mutt you are. I wonder what pathetic pony managed to do you in. HA! I bet she was ohhhh so sweet and lovable that you couldn’t do a thing to her. Oh wait, I meant pathetic and weak. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You’re playing silly games with fillies and colts, Discord. Face it, I am the true lord here! Master of darkness! The REAL ruler of not only the Crystal Empire, but ALL OF EQUESTRIA! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” King Sombra laughed maniacally as he mocked Discord, sure that he was much more powerful than he was.

Discord suddenly went silent, his face filled with a dark essence, his eyes boiling on the inside. He not only got insulted, but Sombra also insulted Fluttershy, something he would not take lightly. At first, he just thought about doing Sombra in right then and there. But then something clicked in his mind. He was saving the time door to a future ruled by Sombra for you, just to see what would happen. For shits and giggles essentially. But here he was, the genuine article of this universe, and what better way to humiliate the fuck out of him than to have you do it. Discord steps back, and beckons you over with a talon. “Anon… Front and center.”

The hell? “Uhhh… What’s going on? C’mon, this is serious, just blast him! The guy just mocked you and Fluttershy!” You yourself didn’t want to take any chances. And while you were angry that he mocked your friends and family, you were still wary of the situation. Could… Discord really not beat him?

“I won’t ask again… Here, now.” Discord pointed directly downward in front of himself, looking very serious and furious.

“Discord, dude… Whatever you’re thinking, now is not the WHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!” Spike, in worry for you, tries to get Discord to calm down and try to figure things out. But Discord would have none of it, and sent him flying back through the doors.

“D-daddy Discord? A-are you ok?” Diamond’s ears folded back. She had never seen Discord so upset and angry before, it was actually scaring her, especially knowing what he was capable of.

“Not particularly… Please leave the tower with Spike, things are going to get very serious and I don’t want you to get hurt.” Discord told her, his tone of voice still ominous and terrifying.

“But what about A-” Diamond tried to ask about you, what he planned to do with you, but Discord stopped her as he pointed towards the door and yelled out.

“GO! I WILL NOT ASK AGAIN!” Discord growled at her, like a very angry father towards a timid daughter.

Diamond squeaks as her survival instincts take over. She starts running back towards the door, but then suddenly stops and looks back at you, she didn’t want to leave you alone, and was trying to force herself to come back to help you. But just as she took her first step, the door suddenly swings shut, smacking her backwards. Discord cringed at that, and sheepishly looked to the right as his near demonic mood suddenly left him. “Ohhhh, did not mean to actually hit her. She’ll be alright though. Anyway, on to business. Anon, go take care of Somby, will you? I’m getting tired of him.”

“BWHAHAHAHA! That was quite a show, Discord. And for what? For you to send a colt at me? Ohhhh, I’m soooo scared! The lord of chaos, relying on a foal? Oh, that’s just rich! Never mind, I need a warm up. Go ahead, send him here, we can make a real game out of it. We’ll time how long it takes for me to destroy his mind with my magic.” Sombra was suddenly quite jovial, relishing at the thought of Discord suddenly being so pathetic and weak that he had to send a foal after him. Relishing even more to see his reaction after he decimates you.

“Discord, are you nuts?! This guy is probably a lot more powerful than the Storm King, and I don’t have my horn in this dimension. What do you expect out of me?” He couldn’t be serious, because it looked like he was gonna send you at him as is.

“Anon, my adopted child not child, my chaos buddy, my pincushion.” Discord leaned down, and gently placed his paw on your shoulder, looking at you with the caring face a real father would make. “You have all the tools you need already to bring him down. For me, I could end him in an instant, but true glory will come to both of us if you, a colt, are able to bring him down. He has insulted our family, Anon, and I know that means something to you. Besides…” Discord stands up, and shrugs with a grin on his face “I actually got Twilight to agree to a bet about who would win, you or Sombra. I admit, she was under duress, I may have annoyed her a bit, and it wasn’t so much a bet more so a long explanation on how, without the crystal heart, he’d kick your butt. But to me, it’s still something I could hold over her for the fun of it.”

Christ… “You know she’s gonna freak when she finds out you even revived the guy, right?”

Discord nods profusely, without even saying a word.

…Typical, albeit hilarious.

“Are you serious?! ARE YOU TRULY SERIOUS?! BWHAHAHA! THIS IS YOUR SON?! THIS TINY THING?! THIS IS THE HEIR TO YOUR THRONE?! AHAHAHA! HAHAHEHEHEHAHA!” Sombra was laughing gleefully, tears actually running down his face as he waved his hoof forward. “No! Nohahaha! That’s simply too much! I might disappear into the ether from laughing too much! And you’re sending him at me?! You’re putting the fate of Equestria in his hooves?! Oooooh Discord, how far you have fallen. You are truly pathetic compared to me. The pony that tamed you, oh yes, I’ll make sure she has a special place scrubbing my dungeons. And this colt? Ha, I’ll destroy him in front of you, just for laughs. MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Ok, now he was really getting on your nerves. Fuck, you’d have preferred if he just grunted and said ‘crystals’ every five seconds. This was Sombra? THE Sombra? This gay, up his own ass, retard motherfucker? No, fuck this, this was not in your headcanon and you would not stand for this. He has insulted you, Discord, and Fluttershy long enough. So yeah, you start stepping forward towards him angrily and begin to yell at him. “LAUGH IT UP, MOTHERFUCKER! GO AHEAD, LAUGH! BECAUSE THAT’S THE LAST STRAW! NOPONY, AND I MEAN NOPONY, MAKES FUN OF MY FAMILY AND LIVES TO TELL ABOUT IT!... Yeah, you heard me, LIVE! L-I-V-E! Because guess what? I’m gonna chop off your fucking head, I swear it!”

Sombra’s laughter suddenly ends as he actually brings a hoof to his neck, then looks down at you, a little confused. As evil as he was, he never expected a colt to speak in such a horrid and violent manner. “Not that you will be able to, but don’t you think that’s a bit much?”

“Ha! You think that’s a lot? I didn’t even get to the part where I’m gonna take your head and shove it up the ass of an ursa major! And your body? I’m gonna cut it up and use your coat to line my bed. Oh yeah, fuckface, you ain’t seen the kinda shit I’ve seen. You gonna die, not get sealed… Die.”

Sombra actually felt uncomfortable with you and your mannerisms, but it wasn’t enough to get him to back down. No, in fact, it actually interested him to face off against an opponent he thought was a simple colt. He still felt he was going to crush you, but he was impressed by the darkness that seemed to be in your heart. “Die, you say? Now I’m interested. Tell me, Anon… What could have possibly happened to you to turn your heart so black? I’ve never seen a colt so angry in my life, so full of hatred. I could use you, actually. Don’t throw your life away now, you know you can’t beat me. But with your hatred infused with my magic, you could grow up to be the most powerful stallion in the world!... Next to me of course. My powers can create strength from hatred and darkness, and you, I can tell, would be the perfect candidate to use my gift to bring me the throne to this entire world. Come now, Anon, don’t be foolish… Make the right choice.” Indeed, Sombra had considered it right there, at this moment. His powers can strengthen those inclined in the darkness, and he felt he could use you as his pawn. In all the time he has ever lived, he had never witnessed ANYTHING like you before, he had never heard such fearful and evil words out of anyone, not even himself… He simply had to have you.

“Fuck off, how about I put my axe in your face?” You growl at him as you brandish your axe.

“Do you truly have it in you to end my life? No hesitation whatsoever? Tell me, Anon… You’re very young. Doesn’t the thought of snuffing one out, even one as evil as I, terrify you? Look into my eyes, Anon, and look into your own despair. See that what scares you most!” Sombra said with a cackle… But oddly enough, his eyes weren’t glowing or emitting any magic whatsoever. He was trying to lock you within your own nightmares to be able to control you, but it was failing. “What?! What is going on?! What happened to my powers?!”

“Oh, you’re still playing the game, Somby. I’m afraid your role doesn’t exactly have such a power.” Discord said as he gave an uncaring shrug towards him “Which means, it is Anon’s turn to do as he wishes.”

“Oh? And he really is going to try to defeat me with an axe? Even after knowing what happened to his friend?” Sombra said with a dark chuckle. "How droll"

Discord just shrugs at him “Dunno, that’s up to him.”

“That’s right, fucker, and I’m going to murder you so damn hard that even the hardcore bronies can’t fucking argue the possibility for you to come back for another season!” Oh yeah, you were bloodthirsty alright. You wanted this fucker dead.

“That doesn’t make any sense… But alright, give it your best swing. Just be warned, I have given you your chance, and I will be taking your dark essence for myAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” Sombra was now screaming in pain as your axe slammed and embedded itself into his forehead. He was staggering backwards in pain, unable to even see due to it being so blinding. “AHHHH! IT HURTS! IT ACTUALLY HURTS! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT! I CAN SEE A BRIGHT LIGHT AND I DON’T LIKE IT!”

Geezez christ, even when he’s dying he acts like some prissy wuss. “Can’t you at least die with dignity?”

Sombra didn’t respond, he was just screaming in pain as his body began fill with a bright light, almost as if he was about to explode into stardust. And then? He actually did, he exploded into stardust…. Whoopee.

“Holy shit… What a joke! This was fucking Sombra?” You grab your axe, then look to Discord with dismay and disappointment “That was fucking Sombra?! Christ, Discord, how easy was he back then? Why didn’t you deal with him before the princesses did?”

“It’s called giving him a sporting chance before I hilariously humiliated him. Not my fault that I decided to deal with the princesses first and got cheap shotted by a bunch of stones. He wasn’t even anything back then until I was gone, that’s when he really became a threat… To ponies. Compared to me, Sombra is but a mere ant. As evidenced by your splendid if anticlimactic finish.” Discord started to scratch his head as he looked upon the stardust floating around the room. “Odd though… I swear I had the role of Ganon inserted into the campaign correctly.”

“Yeah, the hell is up with that? Shouldn’t he have a second form or something? Ugh, I really wanted this to be an epic battle. Fuck man, the ACTUAL Ganon would have been more fun to fight than Sombra. How the fuck did anypony have trouble with that guy?” Like seriously, he just let you kill him.

“Well, dark magic is a powerful force when put up against normal unicorn magic. It takes something much greater to defeat it. And then there’s my magic, which trumps everything. Ahhh, but we all already knew that. Hmmm… A pity, I was really hoping for more banter out of this. But he really asked for it, didn’t he?” Discord shook his head “Tsk ,tsk, tsk… Didn’t even get a chance to catch up with good ole Somby.”

“Yeah well, I doubt there was anything THAT interesting about him. Shit, he tried to pull the whole ‘join me on the dark side’ bullshit. He’s so full of himself too, I don’t even think he realized he was affected by your magic. What a putz” Really, what a goddamn loser. He was such- Uh oh, just as you were starting to relax, the tower began to quake and shake. Goddamnit, you knew what that meant! “Never mind, fuck it, time to go!”

As you and Discord began to rush back towards the door, Spike and Diamond had managed to get it open as it seemed they didn't leave the tower. Spike looked frantic, scared, but still ready to fight. “Guys! Is Sombra summoning up a lot of power?! The whole tower is shaking! We can’t let you-OHHHH!” Discord just grabs Spike like a football and rushes towards the teleporter as you dive under Diamond to get her on your back.

“A-Anon?! What’s going on? Why are we running? S-shouldn’t we go back and fight Sombra?” Diamond asked as she held onto you tightly.

“Already beat him! Need to focus! Tower falling apart!” You said in between breaths as you rush towards the portal behind Discord with Diamond in tow. Even as you all appeared in the main room, you both wasted no time running towards the front doors of the tower as everything started to fall apart.

“You beat him?! Sombra?! Just like that?! How did you beat him without the Crystal Heart?!” Spike was utterly surprised, even as he bobbed up and down in Discord’s grip.

“It wasn’t as cool as you think it was…” You mutter to yourself as you reach the drawbridge. Ah hell, it started to fall apart behind you. “OHHH NOO! RUN RUN RUN!”

“Wait… Why do I have to run? I’m not even in costume anymore…” Discord stops and snaps his talons, causing him and Spike to appear at the other end of the drawbridge.

“What?! DARNIT! WHY COULDN’T YOU DO THAT FOR U-UUUAAAHHHH!” Both you and Moonlight didn’t quite make it. Well, you thought you both didn’t. But you were somehow still in the air. How? When you look back, you could see Diamond was holding onto you as tightly as she can as she fluttered her wings as quickly as possible. “Diamond… Heh, you’re amazing.”

“D-don’t say that right now! I-I’m trying to focus!” Diamond was, as usual, lovestruck by your words. But she couldn’t let herself fall for you or else it’d be the hottest fall both of you would ever have.

Eventually, you all stand at the edge of the crevice of the lava pit as you all watch Ganon’s tower fall into ruin. “Welp… I suppose we win. Not bad for a beginner campaign.” Discord said with a nod.

“Yeah… I mean, I really expected things to get rough when it turned out you revived Sombra. I was like, super scared. Guess he really isn’t much when it comes to you and Anon. Chaos magic is pretty scary.” Spike said, impressed by you and Discord’s efforts. “And it was an accident, right? I mean reviving him?”

“Trust me, Spike, it was. It made things TOO easy…” You say with an arrogant chuckle “The real Ganon would have put up a better fight.”

“I wish I could have seen you fight him, Anon, I bet it was really epic. Either way, this was a lot of fun! And we all managed to get out together!” Diamond said with glee, very happy to know she actually completed her first campaign, and even happier to know you outrank a powerful villain like King Sombra.

“Yeah… Wait.” Your eyes suddenly go wide “All of us? Uhh…” You looked around, and noticed a party member was missing. “Where’s… Uh… Applejack?”

“Oh no! We left her in the tower! Oh man! What do we do now?!” Spike was flabbergasted that he somehow forgot about her. Sure, at this point you couldn’t truly die in these campaigns unless Discord willed it, but it can still hurt. Hell, maybe Discord did will that she could die considering Sombra seemed to be gone.

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll be alright. Strange though, the campaign should have ended right about…” But Discord’s words are cut off as a large pig like monster broke free from the rubble of the tower. His power so strong, it sent flying boulders of stone all over the place. And among the boulders was Applejack, hurtling towards the party and landing behind you all. “Oh, see? I told you she’d be a-” And before anyone could even react, a boulder comes down and utterly crushed Applejack into nonexistence. “Ohhhhhhhh, that’s gonna sting.”

“This power… THIS POWER! IT IS BEYOND ANYTHING I COULD HAVE IMAGINED! HAHAHAHA! YOU FOOLS! YOU HAVE MADE ME EVEN STRONGER THAN EVER BEFORE! WITH THIS NEW POWER, NOT ONLY IS EQUESTRIA ITSELF WITHIN MY GRASP, BUT THE COSMOS THEMSELVES WILL BE MINE! OOHHHHH, IT MAKES ME FEEL SOOOOOO GIDDY! MWHAHAHAHA!” Oh god, it was the actual form of Ganon… With Sombra’s mind. He stood towering on his two feet, still in his desert armor, as a trident began to form above him within the bolts of a wicked lightning storm. He must be at least twenty fucking feet in size too.

“Oh, there’s his second form.” Finally, now it looks like you guys can have an actual fight!

“DISCORD?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! DID YOU GIVE SOMBRA THAT BODY?! HE LOOKS EVEN MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER BEFORE! HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BEAT THAT?!” Spike panicked as he jumped behind Discord in utter fright.

“Well, we do have our legendary weapons. Come now, my comrades, let us throw away our fear and defeat this villain once and for-” But Discord is cut off as Sombra begins to scream and wail.

“WHAT IS GOING ON?! WHY CAN’T I WALK RIGHT?! GY-HAAAAA! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Sombra, it seemed, was not actually used to being bipedal. He immediately trips over himself, rolls forward, and falls off the edge of the cliff and into the lava below. Immediately the land around the fallen tower began to brighten up as the evil clouds above began to clear.

“...And there he goes…” How… Lame…

And with that, everything returned to normal. You all appear back in the cutie map room in normal attire. Applejack was knocked out cold apparently, snoring, as her back was being ruined due to her sleeping on the backrest of one of the seats… Like, her head and ass were hanging downwards as her spine was right on the backrest… She was gonna wake up awfully sore in the morning.

...Well, that was a thing. It was certainly... A thing.

With the campaign over, and it getting rather late… Actually, it was much later than you all actually thought, nearly midnight really. Spike, who is normally not up this late, already started to feel the sleep come over him. It didn’t surprise you, you all did do a campaign in one night after all, so it made sense you’d all feel more tired than you should, hence Spike falling over right then and there on the floor. Diamond just slowly walked over to you with a yawn and nuzzled closely to you, falling asleep as she whispered about how much she loved you, and wanted to raise the future foals you both would have, and how she couldn’t wait to tell them the stories of their heroic father. You? You just couldn’t wait to start making the little guys, but it’s fine, you were fine letting her nuzzle on you as you cuddled and rubbed your chin on top of her head, sliding her tiara down ever so slightly as to not poke yourself. She was fine being teleported straight home tonight, she was too tired to be fully romanced. Of course, she couldn’t wait to see you again, that was always a thing. After that, it was time for you and Discord to return home as well. So with a simple snap of his talons, you were both teleported back to your room, with you planted right on your bed with your gear put to the side and your horn around your neck.

Discord himself was stretching himself with a long yawn, preparing himself for sleep… You think, you never knew if the guy actually slept. “Well, Anon, I think that went well, despite the disappointing final act…” Discord stopped there, then looked to you with a soft and almost needy smile “Well, maybe not disappointing. I’m actually overjoyed to know that you were able to defeat Sombra. I would say it was made easier due to him not understanding the rules, but he still had plenty of power to still be a ‘threat’.”

“Yeah, considering the form you gave him, I’d figure he could have done a lot of dangerous stuff if he understood how it worked. Still, I don’t think I could have handled his fucking attitude for much longer anyway. The guy is so… So…” You couldn’t exactly think of a word for it.

“High and mighty?” Discord says as he gives you a mischievous grin.

“Yeah, that’s ex- waiiiit! Ok, c’mon, don’t do that. Don’t ruin the fun ride by being a dick.” Discord was actually being pretty rad for most of the day, sans the clone business. A great deal, him being nice, a fun adventure, and you got to show up an MLP villain. It was the end of the day and you really didn’t want the mood ruined.

“Alright, alright, I can wait another time. But… Did you truly have fun? Diamond said you did, but… I suppose I just wanted to hear it from your mouth. Just a clear answer, now that the game is over.” Discord said, still seeming soft and needy… Was he, did he? Huh, he actually really cared what you thought?

“I had fun, I thought it was pretty rad up until Sombra showed up. Man… Well, y’know? Applejack getting crushed by a rock made up for that, haha! But no, seriously? I really did. Kudos to you, Discord, I actually enjoyed myself.” You tell him with a grin, actually satisfied with the adventure.

Discord had to turn away from you. He took a stance of pride as he walked forward, arms to his back. But his eyes were watering, he was happy that he managed to give his good friend and chaos buddy a good time. “Splendid… I am happy to know my work is appreciated…” He stopped to remove a tear from his cheek. “But we should move on to actual business. You’ll be happy to know your unlimited magic starts at midnight, as per our agreement.”

“I figured… Also, I know you get all teary eyed if you try to get all serious like that, especially with your back turned. Heh…” You hopped up on all fours and looked to Discord with a great big grin. “No need to hide it, dude! But… Wait… Why are you all happy about it? Unless…” Ahh geez, he really did want you to enjoy O&O, didn’t he? That was it, wasn’t it? “Discord… Look, I’m sorry if I ever upset you with all the times I declined playing O&O. I mean, you could respect my decision and all… But I guess I could also not be an ass pained doofus about it. I’ll have a regular go with you guys the next time I have the chance, ok? Don’t cry though… Like seriously, I don’t want the room flooded.”

Discord turned around to reveal his tearful joy. He walked over to you, and started to give you a gentle pat. “Ah, Anon… It wasn’t exactly that, but it was mostly something like that. You really do have my thanks, and I am happy to share my time with you whenever it’s not boring. Aha, but… It is getting rather late and I’d rather not continue to be so vulnerable. So, tell me, will you be going out soon or will you be saving it for the morning?”

“Huh? Oh, you mean the horn. Uhhh, I should sleep since I gotta deal with Celestia tomorrow. Oh, actually… Discord, can I get your opinion on something?” You had a sudden plan to make a grand entrance to Canterlot Castle. Nothing mean, but you wanted your presence known.

“My opinion? You want my opinion?” Discord actually seemed surprised and intrigued. “On what, exactly?”

“Well, I kind of wanna make a grand entrance. Y’know, seem all badass without actually pissing Celestia off. I mean, I’ll have unlimited power, so why not show it off? Here’s what I’m thinking: She’s having her breakfast, maybe drinking some coffee… Then suddenly, a beam of light hits the entire castle. As she looks out the window to figure out what happened, feathers of pure white start falling around the room as I appear in an even more brilliant blue flash in the air. Then I slowly descend, looking down at all I survey… Pretty good, right? I’m thinking it’ll just leave her speechless.” You knew how to leave Celestia speechless in many ways, but since you had to not lose her favor, you wanted to do it in a way Discord would, as it always seems Celestia is in a pretty good mood when he pulls his usual antics in front of her.

“Ha! Very nice, although it doesn’t sound like your usual bag of tricks. But hmmm… How odd, I’m surprised you didn’t think of adding a choir to your entrance. Something that literally sings ‘Anon’. That should make it perfect, I think.” Discord slid a talon along his cheek and down his chin, scratching ever so gently as he thought “No, more than perfect. Remember to make it a little obnoxious in case she tries to speak over it, but not too obnoxious as to ruin your chances in gaining her favor.”

“Yeah, that actually will work. Not too obnoxious, got it! Thanks, Discord… Heh…” You let yourself fall backwards, feeling the sleep coming upon you. “Really, thanks… You’re the greatest…”

“I…” Discord found himself almost saying ‘I know I am’, but stopped… He didn’t want to be an ass this time, he didn’t want to ruin the moment. So he just took a bow, and said “...Am great, but only because… No never mind, I was going to say something sickly sweet but I’m simply not in the mood. But I would suppose you know how I feel without saying it and that should be enough. Good night, Anon, I wish you luck on your meeting with Celestia. As for me… Ugh, I might as well practice resisting improving Twilight’s first day of her school. As much as I think the students would appreciate a fun first day, even I understand Twilight needs her moments, her chance to shine. I’ll figure something out for later though, I always do.”

“I know you will. Night, Discord. Thanks again for the fun” You say weakly, as you feel yourself drift off into dreamland.

Well, not completely, at least not the dreamland you were hoping to appear in. The first thing you notice is that you had full control of yourself and were aware of what you were doing. Next, you found yourself in a familiar endless starry space, and finally, you knew there was only one mare who could cause this. Like, holy fuck, was Luna still on this? “...Ok then. Princess Luna, seriously? Are you serious? You’re still on this?” You call out to her as you look around “Where are you? I mean, geez.” Like, it was funny before, but now it was getting a little sad. How badly did she want you to wreck her mind?

“HAHAHA! I am, Anon. I have bided my time, and figured out a way to best you in this contest of morality!” Bellowed Luna’s voice from God knows where “I realized that you’re much too corrupt for I alone to make you see reason. That is why I have employed the help of my sister to show you the error of your ways and make you see that you are wrong! Prepare yourself, Anon. You shall not have your way this time!” She called out further as a large amount dark blue smoke began to flow towards and then past you. Oh holy crap, Celestia is here?! Ah fuck it, never mind, this is gonna be fucking gold! Hell, they both want to thought police you? Well then, time to make them see how wrong they really are.

“Sister? Sister? Luna? Where is the foul monster that torments you so?” Called out the voice of Celestia, her visage appearing through the smoke as she seemed to be wandering about trying to find something. “Please, it’s been days, Luna. Whatever this nightmare is, we can defe-” But as the smoke begins to clear, Celestia herself is able to see you come within her vision. She paused, looking rather confused. “Anon?... Oh no, please tell me you have nothing to do with my sister’s loss of mind. What did you do?” Hoo boy, it seemed she actually had no clue what was going on. Are you fucking serious? Luna didn’t tell her? What, did she just say 'Sister, help me!' and that was it? And fuck, she’s already putting you on the chopping block. Well fuck that…

You retaliate by pointing your hoof towards Celestia while angrily saying “Hey, I have nothing to do with this. She came into my dreams and then decided to be the thought police! Like, she’s been antagonizing me just because she doesn’t like what she sees!”

Luna, like some child who had been accused of wrongdoing, just blinks into existence beside Celestia, angrily pointing back at you. “He lies! What he has been imagining are things most foul! I have been trying to show him his wrongs but he refuses to listen!”

Was she serious?! “They’re my dreams and my thoughts! It’s not like I’m acting on them or anything! I mean, hell, she tried to use my thoughts against me and… heh” Just thinking about having them cuties around you made you chuckle and blush somewhat “Well, me and her both know how that turned out.”

Luna’s mouth scrunched in frustration. “Do you see what I mean, Sister?! Foul! Utterly and completely disgusting!”

Celestia just looked utterly confused. At first, you thought she was going to say something to you, but instead she looks to Luna with a heavy sigh. “Are you telling me you had me worried sick for days, with you locking yourself in the royal archives, because Anon had ‘foul’ thoughts? For Equestria’s sake, Luna, we’ve seen the abominations inside Anon’s mind before… No offense… Why is it now that it bothers you so?”

“Sister! This is much worse than clowns and horrifying butterfly like creatures! Much worse!” Luna was now on the defensive, unable to believe that Celestia seemed to be more mad at her than you.

“I’m sure it is. And if it was anypony else, there’d be cause for alarm. But this is Anon, who at this point I’m sure has imagined much worse since then. This was not worth you risking your health, nor does it require my presence.” Wow, Celestia was actually regally standing up to Luna. Ok, sure, it did make you sound pretty bad. But fuck, it was your thoughts, you were entitled to have them.

“S-sister! H-how can you take the situation so lightly? Mnnghhh!” Luna wasn’t having this, she was too close to her goal to have it taken away because Celestia thought it was not worth looking into. No, Luna would do whatever it took to prove that she was right in this situation. Her horn began to glow as ponies began to appear before you all. “Fine then, we will go straight into the issue. Behold, my sister, the thoughts that Anon wishes to surround himself with. Thoughts that need purification, not just for Equestria’s sake, but for his own. I had held off telling you about this when I required your aid, but now... BEHOLD, TRUE FOULNESS!” She lets out the the Royal Canterlot voice on that last one.

The ponies that appear are all royal guard stallions and mares, all approaching and then licking at the body of… OH HOLY SHIT! HAHA! HOLY FUCK, LUNA, YOU SERIOUS?! Luna created a dream Celestia who was laying on a bed, moaning softly as she laid on her back, spread, as the royal guards began to lick at her neck, chest, lips, belly, and legs. It was pretty damn hot, although a lot of the naughtier bits were obviously being censored out.

“What?! What is this?! Luna, what is going on?!” Celestia finally seemed horrified by what she was seeing, it seems she had never seen anything this degenerate before. And this was certainly something she’d never do.

“Isn’t it obvious, sister?” Luna says in a more calm yet dominating voice, finally feeling like her side was getting through. “These are the kinds of thoughts that pass through Anon’s mind. He enjoys such thoughts, even when they don’t include him. It does not matter who he imagines, as they always end up in a state similar to this. Truly degenerate, in such a way that I truly feel he needs saving. This vision here, is still but a portion of what he thinks of… As this situation can be made far worse.”

Celestia just looked at you, wide eyed, in disbelief. “Anon… Do these thoughts truly pass through your mind?”

Ahh dammit. why did you suddenly feel guilt? Your ears began to fold as a horrid thought passes through your mind. If Celestia was gonna be pissed off at you here, then what kind of chance were you going to have tomorrow? Maybe, if you just save face… “I mean, yeah. It’s just how we humans imagine stuff. I-” But you are unable to finish as Celestia, in a commanding tone, tells you to be silent. She then looks to Luna.

“Tell me, Sister. How much were you truly affected by such thoughts?” Celestia asks Luna, in a rather cold manner.

“You can see it for yourself, Sister. I am glad you are starting to see why I was affected so deeply, as such things had never been heard of in Equestria. Mares on mares, multiple stallions on single mares, with such actions like the one we see before us. This kind of thinking has no place in Equestria, and I feel it needs to be purged. Although, I’d also like to state that I do not think lowly of Anon, as he is still a friend and a hero… But even he must understand why such thoughts cannot be allowed. Certainly we’d never think of such thoughts.” Luna says, also sounding quite regal and official.

“Yes… You’re correct.” Celestia then turns to her dream created self still being lick-pleasured by the guards. “Perhaps remove the mares from the equation and this might be something fun to think about from time to time.”

“Yes, that seems more logical to- WHAT?!” Luna jumps back and nearly falls over in surprise. “SISTER?! PLEASE TELL ME THOSE WORDS DIDN’T ACTUALLY LEAVE YOUR LIPS!”

Wut? Were you dreaming? Well, yeah you were… But wut?

“Oh, come on…” Celestia said as she rolled her eyes at Luna “Yes, what we are seeing now is a little much. But that’s to be expected from Anon, because well… It’s him, it honestly doesn’t surprise me. I’m just surprised it bothers you so much.”

“You can’t be serious! Of course this bothers me! It should bother you too! H-he has even imagined us! Sisters! Doing such things to each other! In ways that would be for a stallion and a mare to produce a child! Two mares, Sister! It doesn’t make sense!” Luna’s eyes were wide as her pupils shrunk, holy crap, she was bugging out at the fact that her sister, Celestia, seemed so calm about it.

“Anon… have you imagined such a thing? Despite your obligations to your marefriend?” Oh shit! OH SHIT! How could you fucking justify that?! Ngh, come on, you’re human! Just explain it! C’mon, don’t be a pussy! Fuck man, ponies don’t understand shit!

“Hey! C-c’mon! It’s not like I’d actually try to do that with either of you! Or anypony really! Those thoughts are just really hot to me! I’d never actually betray Diamond like that! Honest! You’re a pony! So you j-just don’t get it! That’s how we humans roll!” Dammit, C’mon… Fuck man, you were toast!

“Ok… So if I offered to push that fake version off that bed so we could do similar things to one another, you’d say no? And I mean doing such things right now.” Celestia said, finding it difficult to hide her own smirk.

Both you and Luna’s jaw dropped at those words. You blushed deep… Was she… Offering to fuck you?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GOD NO! YOU COULD FUCK CELESTIA, BUT THAT’D MAKE YOU THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE EVER! GYAAAHHH! You fall to the ground, whining. “DAMMIT! NOOO! WHY COULDN’T YOU MAKE THIS OFFER BEFORE THINGS GOT SERIOUS! IT’S NOT FAIR! IT’S NOT FAIR!”

“There, you see? He’s devoted, nothing to worry about.” Celestia tells Luna with a nod.

“NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT?! WHAT ABOUT THE WORDS THAT LEFT YOUR LIPS, SISTER!” Luna bellowed out as she pointed accusingly at Celestia “MY OWN SISTER! INTO SUCH… THINGS! HOW COULD YOU?!”

Celestia lets out a tired sigh, smiles, and shakes her head. “Oh… I’m sorry. I suppose living over a millennia, I had never ever seen such handsome young stallion guards in such a way that I’d imagine them servicing me in such acts as hoof massages, feeding me, and much snuggling as well. Although, we both know I have and have imagined such things. Luna, are you going to seriously lose your mind trying to lecture Anon on such matters when similar thoughts have crept into your mind? Hmmm?”

“A-ah, ah… That’s… That’s simply not true! I-I am the Princess of the Night! I am regal and just! Erm… With only one one thousand long instance of being evil.” Luna began to falter, stepping back as she began to blush ever so slightly. “I’d never even imagine such a thing!”

“Oh, and I’m sure you’re right. Just like I’m sure your stay on the moon had never once made you imagine, even as Nightmare Moon, the company of stallions at all.” Celestia said, doing her best to seem serious as her lips began to further crack into a smile.

Luna began to blush harder, but pointed towards Celestia anyway and said “You’d make light of such a situation?!”

“I’m not hearing a no.” Celestia said, locking her eyes with Luna’s.

“Gyah!... Ah! But… It’s nowhere near as bad as he imagines it!” Luna points over to you, as she now entered the defensive.

Wait… Hold on… “WAIT! ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU IMAGINED HAVING FUN WITH MULTIPLE STALLIONS! YOU HYPOCRITE! SHEESH! WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?! HUH?!”

“G-mnngh! It’s still not as… Come on… Don’t look at me like… OK FINE! I’D LOVE TO BE IN THE COMPANY OF VERY HUNKY STALLIONS, I ADMIT IT! But, Sister! TWO MARES! That makes no sense! Mares wouldn’t do such a thing!” Luna was desperate, to the point she’d rather not be seen as a loser rather than being morally right.

“Its over, Sister. Let me tell you something I have told you long before. Everypony, including you, I, and Anon, have our ways to entertain our thoughts. There is no wrong way to fantasize, Luna, I’ve said this to you before. Anon, I think, is a prime example of that saying. His imagination, from anypony who wishes to be ignorant, can be seen as dangerous and violent. But we both know better, that it just seems to be part of his human nature. Let it go, Luna, it’s over. You have a duty to uphold, and I have an…” Celestia looks over to her dream self again, then back to Luna “Interesting dream to try.”

Luna’s eye twitched, she raised her hoof to try to counter… But she had nothing more to counter with, especially knowing that she did have a job to do in defending the dreams of those who rely on her. Even more so, she knew what Celestia meant by those words, but she feared that Celestia would put her further in her place in such a way that she might be seen as an actual degenerate. So she folds, and sighs in defeat. “Fine… I shall leave it be. B-but I better not be judged for having such dreams myself! You hear me! I will haunt both your dreams should such a fabrication and twisting of stories come out!” She then looked to you, still grumpy faced, and said “And to you, Anon. I apologize… But I swear, if you tell anypony...”

“Nope! Nope! Haha! Secret is safe with me! But you know…” Fuck it, it seemed Celestia was on your side, so it’d be safe to say it. “Multiple Stallions would mean… Y’know, two stallions. Sure, they’d be on you, buuuut don't you think that totally proves that you totally do imagine the same kind of-” But you are cut off as Luna adorably barks at you in anger.

“ENOUGH! I HAVE WORK TO DO! GOODBYE!” And with that, Luna disappeared in a flash of light as a door appeared, opening for Celestia so she may leave to her own dreams.

Celestia just giggled, and let out a sigh of relief. “Well, I’m glad that’s over with. She was almost like a zombpony due to the lack of sleep she was getting. I better be going myself, I have to be ready in the morning. Oh, and don’t worry about this. I already understood you most likely had such thoughts given how you look when among ponies that catch your attention… Such as myself.”

You blush deep, feeling those feelings, feelings that you thought you had better control of. Considering you were pretty much a hornball when you first came to Equestria. “U-umm, well. Umm.. I mean, if you’re gonna come on to me liiike that. Erm… I mean, it’s all just a dream, right?” S-she seemed to know what was up. She knew what sex was.

“Heh, Anon… Even if I somehow was willing, I’d crush your little body, even in a dream. Now, I’m serious, I need to be going. I need to be ready and fresh in the morning for when you arrive. Good night, Anon, pleasant dreams.” Celestia says with a cute wink as she walks over and into the door, disappearing upon entry.

You fall flat on your face, whining. Goddammit! You let your libido make you look like a doofus! Agh! Sure, Luna is off your back, but at what price?! Making you look the fool?! DARNIT! Wait, the Dream Celestia was still there… Heheheh, and you were still very lucid. Looks like this night wouldn’t be a total waste after all. Just walk over and…

Wait, did she know you were going to see her tomorrow? DID SHE KNOW YOU WERE COMING?! HOW?! GODDAMMIT! YOU CAN’T EVEN MAKE YOUR COOL ENTRANCE SINCE SHE’D BE EXPECTING IT! GODD-

In your shocking realization, you actually end up waking up from your lucid dreaming. Upon looking around and realizing you had awoken and lost your chance at actual lucid sexy times with A Celestia, you only had one word to say.

“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!”

Ugh, it was morning, looking at your clock it was nine thirty AM. You thought you’d have woken up earlier, but it seems you still do have a penchant for waking up a little later than you should. What a pain in the ass that dream was, goddamn. You yawn, stretch like a cat, and hop off your bed. You look at your saddlebag for a moment before putting it on, and then look at your window. Hm, you still had a little time, you think, before you really need to see Celestia, why not see if the X-Captain is finally back. You move over to your blinds and shove them aside… But still gone, how odd.

“Weird… Hm.” Maybe Discord knows? Well, you could easily ask him, all you had to do was put your hoof to your ear and… “Discord, yo, Discord. You awake?”

“I am, good morning, Anon. How did your visit with Celestia go?” He asked, sounding like his usual pseudo intellectual self.

“Haven’t gone to see her yet. Just wanted to ask though, have you seen the X-captain at all? He still hasn’t shown back up at my window yet and I just wanted to check if you knew where he was.” You say, tapping at the window to see if the sound would attract him.

“I have not, but that shouldn’t be troubling to you. He can’t escape the chaotic realm, and he most likely finally got bored, I know I would.” Discord says.

“Yeah, I guess.” Still, was it wise to leave him alone? You might have to investigate later before you lose your unlimited power. For now, you had other things to attend to. And… OH shit! Hold on! “Discord! Oh crap! I forgot, I don’t think I ever actually signed up for Twilight’s school officially. Do you think you could take care of that for me?”

“No! I’m not doing any kind of school sign ups ever again. Don’t you remember what happened last time?” He asked

“You puked out ink and scared Cheerilee and Fluttershy?” Like, that’s what actually happened.

“No! I nearly crumbled to dust! But of course you wouldn’t have noticed. No, if you want to join her school THAT badly, then…” You hear a snap, and a flash of light appears before you. Next thing you knew, you saw some sort of permission slip float in front of you. It hovered there, then slipped into your saddlebag on it’s own. “Use this, it should be good enough for Twilight. Anyhoo, don’t fret over our mutant friend, he probably just wandered off. Oh, and something else.” You hear another snap, as a delicious looking rice krispies treat suddenly appeared and hovered in front of you. “This little treat… Does nothing. I merely felt you deserved a delicious something to eat before you depart.”

“Oh, hey, thanks!” That’s nice of him. You sit down, grab the bar between your hooves, and start munching away. Mmmm, tastes exactly as you remember. “It’s pretty good!”

“Of course it is, it's a more flavorful and delicious version concocted by yours truly. In any case, I have a few matters to attend to. Have a wonderfully chaotic day, Anon.” And with that, he closed the feed on the codec.

You continued to adorably munch on your treat until it was all gone. Yum! Gotta hand it to Discord, he can make a good treat or food when he wants to. Welp, might as well go see Twilight and get this settled. You put your horn on and give it a tap with your hoof. Hoo baby, time for a stress free teleport to her office. She had to be at her school by now and was most likely doing some sort of paperwork, so now would be the best time to see her. All you have to do is imagine a head office and…

In a beam of light downward, you appear in the rather immaculate and book filled head office of Twilight Sparkle. You glow a shining blue as you appear within the beam, feathers of white spreading everywhere as magical glowing wings appear behind you, bursting into stardust as you gently land in front of the marvelous desk of the head mare of the school. You look on, like a god… Onto the desk… Goddammit, you were too small to look over it! Whatever, just look cool, you nailed it.

You then hear clapping from the other side of the desk as a familiar baby dragon congratulates you “Woah, Anon, that was pretty rad! Though, if you did that to spook Twilight, you kinda came in at the wrong time.”

AH GODDAMMIT! You walk over to the side of the desk and see Spike on a rather comfy throne-like chair, going through paperwork and sorting things. “Spike? Ah come on, where’s Twilight? Why are you here?”

"Number one assistant, remember?" Spike chuckles as he looks over a thick stack of papers “Anyway, she's teaching Applejack’s class right now since she’s out for the day on account of her back. Gotta tell ya, it’s a good thing she didn’t know that Ganon guy was really Sombra or we’d all be in trouble. Speaking of trouble, why do you want to spook Twilight anyway? It’s her first day running the school and she doesn’t need that kind of stress right now.” Spike stops what he is doing and looks over to you, waggling a claw at you “C’mon, Anon, don’t go being a jerk, ok?”

“Hey, hey! I just wanted to have a little fun, that’s it. I didn’t want to be a problem. In fact…” You use your magic to slip out Discord’s permission slip from your saddlebag and hover it over to Spike. “I wanted to give this to Twilight, basically making it one hundred percent official that I will become a student in her school.”

“Uh huh…” Spike mumbles as he looks over the permission slip, then puts it in one of the drawers of the desk as he pulls out a large scroll from the same drawer. “I guess, but Twilight has already officially enrolled you. In fact, she made a very specific list when it came to enrolling you. Dude, you already said you were gonna be her student, so you should have expected her to get that all ready considering she doubted Discord would actually come to do any kind of signing himself. Look, see?” Spike turns the list over to show you everything on the list has been checked, all but one thing. “Enroll you, check. Have your class schedule set, check. Have your supplies ready for you, check. The only thing that isn’t checked is setting up a dorm room for you. She didn’t know if you’d want one or not so she is mostly holding it off for another set of students since she doubts you’ll agree to stay in one.”

What in the hell? Twilight already had shit set up for you? Why would she have a fucking checklist like that? Why did she- Actually, why are you asking these questions? Of course Twilight cares about you, Twilight cares about anyone she considers her friend. Hell, if she somehow forgot about you years ago and then remembers, she’ll go through hell and high water to see you again and make things right. Still, you were just a little stunned considering you didn’t think she’d go through that much after the whole Chrysalis thing. “I see… Um, well. Thanks, to her I mean, that’s pretty nice of her. Umm, so I’ll be officially here in a few days, so yeah, good to know I can just walk right in without an issue. Erm… So, things going ok? Besides the whole Applejack thing?”

“Yeah, things are going great! Everypony is making sure the classes are interesting, fun, and full of learning. The students seem to be pretty cool with it so far. Oh, and I ran into a dragon who happens to know you. Didn’t know you went to the Dragon Lands, Anon.” Spike hops down from the chair, walks over to you, and gives you a nudge in the shoulder. “She said nothing but cool things about you, Anon. I hope you aren’t trying to trade things up, if you know what I mean.”

Ah, come on. Was he talking about Smolder? Well, she is super cute. Kinda really cute, the kind of cute you wouldn’t mind bringing into your room for some real steamy action. Buuuuut. “Ah, c’mon. Tch, it isn’t like that. I was just there trying out some… Hero stuff. Wanted to broaden my horizons.” You lied. Oof, if it was one thing you couldn’t let anyone know was the fact that you had been helping that creepy Neighsay guy. Seems like he’s been wrong so far about the school if everything is going smoothly. And given your interaction with Smolder, Ember, and of course Spike, not all dragons seemed like huge assholes. “But uhhh, yeah. Hey, did she mention how I helped her out?”

“Yeah. Pretty cool of you to help her smash up that gem boulder. Look!” Spike pulls out a small green gem “She even gave me one of the gem shards to eat later. Says the boulder’s gems that spilled out was enough to keep her satisfied for awhile.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t that tough. I just beat… Wait…” The fuck? THE FUCK?! “Did you say gem… Boulder?”

“Yeah, gem boulder. You helped her bust one up, right?” Spike asked, a little curious as to why you seemed to have not known what you had done.

Nooooooo, you helped her win a prize while busting up a stupid ass dragon. “Sure, yeah, totally.” Why was this pissing you off so much? The fact that she lied to him? The fact that it pretty much means Garble doesn’t get insulted by the world like he should? The fact Spike doesn’t get any true justice? The fact your super awesome win wasn’t acknowledged? How about all of the above.

“Yeah! Totally cool. Better be careful, Anon, you don’t want to become the most popular guy at school, y’know? I kind of know what happens when fame gets into your head, and trust me, you don’t want it. And… Yo, you ok? Something wrong?” Spike asked.

Ohhhh no, you wanted to know what the fuck was up with this. Why would she lie? You worked hard to make that win spectacular! Sure, you only knew her for a day, but she seemed cool and, er, cute enough to not be a bitch. No, you had to figure things out right now. You looked to Spike with a forced grin and an eye twitch. “N-nothing is wrong… Anyway, gotta go see Celestia now, urgent business and all. But er, say I wanted to see Smolder right now, what class would she be in?”

“Well, you have the same schedule as her. Hold on!” Spike goes back through the papers, and pulls out a schedule to look over it. “Yeah, Twilight wanted you to be in the most diverse class set and… Here we go! She’s in Pinkie’s class right now. But, uh, why does it even matte- Anon?” When Spike looked back up, you were gone, without a sound. “Woah, spooky.”

As for you, you turned yourself into a shadow puddle as you began to seek out Pinkie’s classroom. You began to explore the halls of the- woah, geez. This fucking place was nice as hell, like a cleaned up Hogwarts! Pictures hung on walls, and there was a fountain, and multiple floors, and libraries, and holy fucking shit, how did she afford all this? Fucking christ, how?! Whatever, you keep zooming through until finally you hear a familiar giggling sound. Ahhh, that had to be it. You rushed towards the sound and through the door to find yourself in… A bakery of sorts, with all kinds of party stuff ready to use inside. There were multiple baking stations, with pairs of students of various races helping each other make whatever they were making. None of them seemed stressed though, as Pinkie encouraged them every step of the way. And, hmm, even more interesting, Smolder was teamed up with Ocellus. You slide on over to their station, and try to listen in as you plan your next move.

“...So you really don’t mind helping me make this gem cake? Kinda weird, considering we only met today. Then again, isn’t it kind of advanced to be doing this sort of thing on the first day?” Smolder said, as she did her best to read the recipe book and understand what it wanted her to do.

“Well, I’ve read that Professor Pinkie Pie likes to do anything fun and make everycreature happy. So I can understand her not really understanding that making treats based off our kingdoms can be a little tricky. But I guess that’s why she wants us to work together. Also, she did say she wasn’t grading us for this part, she was just grading us on how we interact during the party at the end of class. Er... Which I admit, I am a little more nervous about than I thought. I thought I’d be a little more open to things considering how much I told you about learning from Anon and his bravery in interacting with our old queen.”

“Eh, she sounded kind of scary to begin with, at least for most anycreature else, so you sound like you're doing ok so far. But hey, don’t worry, anycreature that gives you any sort of trouble will have to answer to me.” Smolder said as she pointed to herself, with a confident smile across her face. “Although, evercreature here is a lot nicer than I thought they’d be. Especially that hippogriff, she kinda creeps me out a little.”

“Oh, that’s Silverstream, I met her when I arrived. I couldn’t find any reading material on hippogriffs other than some recent news articles about the defeat of the Storm King. But she’s nice, I like her. I just kind of hope she never ever runs into Anon though.” Ocellus says as she, quite the opposite to Smolder, is able to follow the gem recipe with ease.

“Why? Does he hate hippogriffs?” Smolder asks.

“No, in fact, I think he'd like her a lot, especially with his reputation with them. They kind of see him as this ‘Legendary’ hero, and Silverstream very much wants to meet Anon. The problem with that is Anon has this sort of weakness to certain, uhm, types of girls. It might end reall-” But suddenly Ocellus freezes in place, as if stuck in time. In fact, the entire room freezes in a blue hue, with everyone and everything in the same position in the very moment things changed.

“Ocellus? Ocellus? Hey…” Smolder waved her claws in front of her, but no response. “Are you ok? Why are you… Oh geez, what happened? Did I fall asleep? Why is everything stopped?”

“...Because I put us in a pocket dimension my dad used on me once. It’s literally timeless.” You said from behind Smolder as you rise up from your shadow puddle.

“Anon? W-woah! Uhm…” Smolder turned around, and was nearly spooked by your sudden appearance. She still looked nervous as she looked around, clearly uncomfortable with the understandably unnerving situation she found herself in. “So… What’s up? What’s with the whole time freeze thing then? It’s kinda cool, but…” But as she continued to look at you, she began to realize you didn’t seem too happy about something, or about someone. “Come on!” She suddenly took the offense, getting unnerved and annoyed “What’s up with you?! Do you mind not doing whatever you’re doing already?! What is this all about?!”

“Gem boulders apparently. Mind explaining that?” You ask her, looking at her with your own discontent as you tapped your hoof on the ground.

“Oh… You spoke to that dragon. So… Is that what got you so wound up? Anon, c’mon, it was just a thing. It’s better that this is the story than what actually happened. It works out for everycreature.” Smolder said, rubbing her shoulder as her dishonesty really began to shine through.

“No, it’s not a thing! I worked really hard in getting you that gem hoard! Like geez, why lie? Ok, maybe I shouldn’t be upset because that was our first meeting. But you know what? I thought we had already become good friends, especially after I utterly decimated that stupid freaking Garble an-” But suddenly you are cut off as Smolder suddenly enters a rage of her own, pointing her claw close enough to your face to make you back off.

“Hey! Don’t ever call my brother stupid, alright?! He’s a good guy with a good soul. And yeah, I thought we became good friends too, but I promise I’ll clobber you if you say another thing about Garble! Ok?!” She was fucking shaking her fist at you, her nose releasing some smoke in her sudden r-WAIT! DID SHE SAY GARBLE WAS HER BROTHER?! WUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT?!

“W-What?! Garb-WHAT?! Your cute hotness is the sister of THAT GUY?! WHAT?!” WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON?! THERE’S NO WAY THAT CAN BE RIGHT?!

Suddenly, Smolder backed up in confusion to your words. “Cute whatne-” But before she could finish those words, you screeched to not only make sure she didn’t finish those words, but to get to the bottom of this nonsense as quick as possible.

“NOTHING! NOOOTHING! But wha?! What?! Garble is your brother?! Really?!” Like, what in the what now?!

“Yeah. He’s my brother. And uhhh…” Smolder sighs “I know I say he’s a good guy, but I guess your first impression of him may not have been the best representation of how great he can be.”

NO FUCKING SHIT! THE FIRST EPISODE HE’S IN AND HE WANTS TO COMMIT BIRD HOMICIDE! AND WHAT DID SHE MEAN BY GREAT?! WEREN’T THEY ENEMIES?! WUUUT?! Ugh, you were suddenly getting a massive headache. You fall back on your ass and began to rub your head. “Ok… I’m mentally spent. What’s going on? Why does nothing make sense anymore?”

“Uhhh, geez, I didn’t realize it would be that big a deal. I mean, we kind of lie and cheat and beat things up all the time, that's how dragons roll. I thought you knew that… Even though we really shouldn’t be doing that, according to Princess Ember and Headmare Twilight.” Smolder said, as she began to suddenly feel a little sheepish over the whole thing.

“You think? Cripes, why even lie then? No, I mean, geez, why set me up against your brother then? Why were you both fighting? From what I saw, you’d have been happy to see him clobbered anyway. The guy was treating you like garbage!” Ugh, what was even going on anymore.

“Oh… Yeah, I guess I kind of forgot you saw that. Look, just let me explain, alright? Then maybe it’ll make more sense.” She tells you.

“Please do, because I’m not even sure if I’m in the same universe anymore. God, I need an Advil.” Your head felt like bursting. This had to be the biggest bullshit you had ever heard of to date.

“Yeah, uhh… Dunno what that is. Anyway…” And so Smolder began her explanation.

Her and Garble were siblings, really good siblings actually, at least when it came to each other. Smolder explained that Garble was actually a really sensitive guy who really cared about his self image. Apparently, the stories and rumors about you got out of hand within the Dragon Lands and a lot of the dragons started mocking him because his sister was going to a friendship school. Basically, he himself got pegged as some weakling who couldn’t even take on the Hero Colt.

Smolder herself decided to sacrifice any respect she did have with the other dragons to make Garble look better. By starting a false sibling separation, it made Garble look like he was tough enough to take on anything if he was willing to utterly disregard a sister he used to hold so dear. Though, it seemed he took it far enough that it did put Smolder down some. Add to this the fact that a gem pool was started to see who could take you down, added to the fact that Garble had thrown in a considerable amount, and it seemed he really was willing to pay and do anything to have a chance to crush you.

And then you actually showed up. It allowed Smolder to quickly hatch a plan that would work out for everyone. She’d semi-lie to you about the fight, as she actually felt you didn’t truly have a chance against Garble, but still needed you there to get a fight going on. When she went to talk to Garble, apparently the true plan was for him to smack you up some to gain the respect of the other dragons. Then he’d fake an injury or sickness and Smolder would come in for the final blow you’d let her have given the plan you came up with her. In the end, Garble would be respected for bravely facing the Hero Colt while Smolder gets respect for getting the final blow, with both essentially winning the hoard since they are family to begin with.

What actually happened was that you pissed off Garble so badly that he took things seriously, got beat, and Smolder had to come in anyway to make sure they’d still win the hoard without arousing any suspicion that it was rigged. Even Princess Ember couldn’t be told, if she was told, then she might try to pass some sort of judgement that didn't serve in her or Garble's best interest. In the end though, respect among the dragons for her and Garble still ended up being what they wanted in the end, and Smolder did leave Garble a good amount of gems to help him with healing after the asskicking you gave him.

Smolder also didn’t want to really ruin her new friendship with you either, as she did find you rather cool for a colt. “...And that’s it. Does it make sense now?”

Seriously? That sounded like more of an excuse to retcon something, but whatever, it made some sense. Cripes though, dragons can be real assholes. The only thing you really doubted was Garble’s sensitivity though, that could just be chalked up to Smolder just liking him as a brother. “I guess? I mean, I’m not even going to ask if dragons can be that petty and mean, I know they can. So I guess I can understand why you lied to Spike. Ugh, fine, ok. I get it.”

“Yeah, that’s how it really went. Sorry though, about the lie I mean. Headmare Twilight said we really shouldn’t lie at all when she was giving us that lecture on honesty. Erm, anyway, are we still friends?” Smolder asked, a little worried that she may have killed this already premature friendship.

“Yeah, it’s fine. We cool. It’s fine, I guess it’s alright if that's the version of the story we tell everypony else.” You sigh, it’d be fine. God, still, how could ugly ass Garble have such a fine sister? Made you wonder what their mom looked like.

“Cool… So, are you starting school today or not? Kind of want to ask you about this whole bugqueen thing Ocellus has been talking about, seems interesting.” Smolder says as she looks around, still a little irked by the pocket dimension “And can we get out of here? It’s starting to get creepy looking at everycreatures’ frozen faces.”

“Yeah, everything will be back to normal when I leave. As in, nah, I don’t start yet, and I got some important stuff I gotta do right now. But hey, it already sounds like you’re making new friends, and on your first day too. Good work, Smolder.” You say, now showing an encouraging grin.

Smolder blushed just a little as she grabbed her arm sheepishly “Yeah, well. It was kind of easy when we all agreed the Headmare's lecture was a little on the boring side. Ocellus thought it was 'fascinating', but man, the rest of us found it booooooring. It’s kind of funny actually, I was talking to this yak who mentioned she wanted her chance to meet you, pretty weird right? Like, I mean that the friends I’ve been making either know you or want to meet you.”

A yak? Wut? What business did you have with a yak? “Nah, I just have that kind of aura. But, uh, what’s this about a yak? I don’t remember doing anything for any yak.”

“Uhm, it’s more like she just wants to beat you in some challenge. She says the yaks of Yak Yakiwhatever have been pretty peeved to hear that some colt has a super strong head or something like that. She wants to meet you so she can prove that nopony can head smash as good as a yak. I dunno, I know you can take a hit but she looks like she could smash you into pulp.”

Pfffft! A yak thought they could take you on at head smashing?! HAHAHAHAH! Sure whatever! “Yeah, we’ll see about that once I’m officially here. For now, I’m glad that you’re making friends, and I can’t wait to hang out with you and everycreature else when I come in after a few days. But really, I gotta go meet with the Equestrian princess and get things squared away.”

“Gotcha. Looking forward to that fight too… And not just because I got a bet going against you. Sorry about that by the way, but you know, what’s it called? Physics, I think. Yeah, physics.” Smolder shrugged, only now feeling a little bad that she made a bet against you.

Bah, whatever. Sheesh, still, you’d think if she really wanted to be solid friends she’d bet FOR you. Well, at least she was honest about it. “Well, we’ll see about that. Anyway, take care, Smolder, seeya soon.”

And with that, you left, removing the pocket dimension from around Smolder as you vanished in a flash of light.

That was… Interesting.

Finally, it was time to get back on track and go get the favor of Celestia, which should then make it easier to get Luna’s favor, and then you can move on to Cadance. This would have to be handled delicately to be sure, as you knew no matter what Celestia had told you about understanding and how she hurt you, she wouldn’t let this easily slide. Given that she knows, she probably already has some kind of strong defense. Well, whatever she had planned, you’d not give in.

And with that, you literally just… Pop right into the Canterlot Castle dining room, as in, you just pop in with a ‘pop’ sound, right on a chair. You had teleported earlier back at the school to the place you knew Celestia might be if she wasn’t already out and about, the dining room, where she will usually enjoy some sort of delicious treat or pastry and why is there a huge stack of pancakes in your face?

Were you on Celestia’s seat? You slowly move over the plate, to see Celestia in a middle seat of a grand table within the unnecessarily decorated and colorful dining room. She was just calmly using her magic to cut into the pancakes she had, take a piece with a fork, and bite into it. Odder still, there was a third plate of pancakes in front of an empty seat at the other side of the table. Celestia stopped for a moment, cleaned her chin with a handkerchief, and looked to you with a smile. “Well, I guessed right that you’d be here, Anon. Though… Erm, I expected something a little more grandiose. Are you feeling ill? Or are you still upset with my sister?”

Wut? “Ok, don’t creep me out like that, Celestia. How did you know I’d be here?! How’d you know I’d be right here in this specific spot? Do you know what I’ve come to talk about?”

Celestia nods “Twilight sent a letter about your meeting with her, so I do know what you’ve come for. As for knowing where’d you be, I guess you can say that I have the amazing power to meld my mind with yours to see and know exactly what you’re thinking. In fact, Anon, you are probably already feeling defensive thinking we’d have a debate on whether or not I’d allow you another chance to reform Queen Chrysalis. But, going through your mind and what you’ve gone through, I can already tell you that there is no debate to be had. I already support your decision, and wish you good luck.”

WUT?! HOLY FUCK! WHEN DID SHE HAVE THAT POWER?! OH GOD, THAT’S WORSE THAN LUNA’S DREAM SHIT! “W-woah… Hold on, when did you have the ability to do that?!” Is that why she wasn’t truly affected by her dream self last night? Because she… Knew you? You put your hooves to your head, trying to feel if she was in your mind. “Stay out of there, Celestia! You don’t know what you’re getting into! Ok?! What kind of ridiculous power is that anyway?! Geez! Because there’s no... “ Wait, there’s no way she could do that, or else a lot of Equestria’s problems would have been solved a lot sooner. You knew she could be clairvoyant, but that’s it. “You’re just joshing me, aren’t you?”

Celestia giggled to herself, and nodded again. “I am, but it was still funny to see you react like I did have such powers, and I only guessed where you’d be by placing the plates in the two spots I’d think you’d appear in due to your, ahrm, high confidence within yourself, which was either in mine or Luna’s chair. In any case, I do mean what I say. You have to remember, Anon, that we already had a chat and an understanding of one another not too long ago. I know what you wish to achieve and you have proven yourself to be capable. You managed to reform the Storm King’s commander, after all. A unicorn with a broken horn that had managed to defeat all our royal guards and three of the four royal princesses. You have come a long way since you arrived in Equestria, and I feel confident enough to allow you more of a chance this time. Also, the syrup is in that little pot right next to your plate, use as much as you like.”

Wut? “Wait, hold on! What about a discussion? Like, what? You don’t have any problems with it whatsoever?”

“Convincing Twilight is already quite a feat when it comes to Queen Chrysalis, so I feel there’s no real need to discuss what I already know. All I can really do now is just wait for my sister to arrive so we can discuss it with her. I’m hoping these pancakes will help ease her mind and make her more understanding of the situation, I made sure the best ingredients were used to make them, and that includes the syrup we have to make them deliciously sweet.” Celestia says as she begins to eat again, taking a bite and cooing to herself as she brought a hoof to her cheek “I admit, even I’m quite taken with this particular batch. Go on, Anon, give them a try.”

Well ok then, it seems this was a lot easier than you thought it was going to be. Though, as easy as Celestia was to convince, you knew Luna would be difficult as fuck to get her to see reason. You ponder to yourself, trying to figure out what to say to her as you use your magic to slice the pancake stack with an invisible knife, cutting them into small bite sized pieces you can bring to your mouth with your magic. Huh, these really were quite delicious. You start happily munching away until a thought hits you in the head. “Wait, so we’re just gonna do this right now? Shouldn’t we give her some time to calm down?”

“Luna doesn’t calm down, Anon. That should have been clear when she wasn’t willing to leave your personal thoughts alone. No, best we tackle this now, with a delicious breakfast waiting for her to brighten her mood.” Celestia said as she took another bite of her pancakes.

“I guess, but aren’t you like that too?” You ask, because you knew she fucking was.

Celestia actually seems to take offense to that, slowly putting down her fork as she looks at you with a slightly less pleasant smile, giving a small little chuckle as she speaks. “What do you mean by that, Anon?”

“Well, I mean not calming down. I mean, once you get pissy over something you don’t seem to back down from it. I mean, geez, you held a lot of things over me harder than Luna did at times. Heck, given how the whole thing with Thorax and Scrappy went when she first met them, she calmed down real quick about the whole Scootaloo thing. You? You took my horn away over something dumb, which nearly got me killed, by the way… By a chimera. I’m sure you had heard about that, and yet I still didn’t get my horn back until the end of the week anyway. I’m sure Twilight had to have sent some letter to you on the same day, right? I mean, she sent one to you over this.” You explained. Like really, you remember that chimera and how he almost killed you. How could Celestia not have realized at the time that your horn was your only means of defense and that you should have gotten it back that same day.

“Ahrm, when you put it in such a way, it does make it sound as if I was being a tad stubborn and overly judgmental. But I had sent a reply to Twilight stating to keep you out of danger for the rest of that week, which surely happened.” Celestia said, eyeing you more closely now that you were calling her out.

“And yet you were still judgmental, Sister…” Said a voice as a familiar figure stepped through the double doors into the dining hall. It was Luna, looking upon her sister with unamused and bagged eyes. “I agree with Anon, you are quite stubborn, much more than I. I remember when you blamed me for taking your cookies once, only for the truth to arise, showing you had not realized that you ate your entire container of said cookies. You still felt, even after that, that it was somehow still my fault.” Luna said as she noticed the pancakes, and went to go have a seat on the empty chair.

“Sister, nice of you to join us… Also we were foals, that happened a long time ago. I wouldn’t say that is a good representation on how either of us are today.” Celestia said, narrowing her eyes at her sister. “In any case, this isn’t an important discussion. What is important is your feelings on-” But Luna raises her hoof to stop her sister, to finish the sentence she was about to say.

“On Queen Chrysalis? I think she’s a monster, plain and simple. But I have decided to allow it, with no hesitation or reluctance.” Luna said as she calmly began to use her knife to cut through the pancakes. “Indeed, I had decided upon this decision once I had come upon the information about it.”

“What? And how did you come upon this decision? How did you know about it? You don’t read most of the letters I receive from Twilight. And I certainly hope you aren’t making this under-prepared decision just to spite me over something that isn’t true.” Celestia just further narrowed her eyes towards Luna. At this point, it was clear they were both having an attitude with each other.

“Because it is true, sister. Especially when it comes to Anon. While my anger towards him was just due to his negligence with the foal, Scootaloo. You took away his only means of defense. Just like you had a dream you shouldn’t have had. And just like you tried to have me be calm with the promise of pancakes while trying to spring this information on me during breakfast time. You are judgmental, but your analysis of situations isn’t always right, and your coy tactics to have a laugh here and there will not work this time.” Luna raises her head, and looks down at her sister with a very stoic look. “MY judgements have been more fair and right, while yours have been naive. I will let Anon have my blessing to reform Chrysalis due to his magnificent efforts in defeating the Storm King, befriending his commander, and his improvement of his character.”

“Really, because I think I said something similar when I allowed him the same thing. Also, my dreams are my business AND I only partly wanted to play a small joke on you with this matter given the fact that you had misjudged everything when it came to Anon and his thoughts while also having me worried for days about you. I believe you know that we play small tricks on each other from time to time, and I had already figured you were going to agree with me anyway. AND, annnd… I thought Anon was an actual foal at the time. And even then, the clairvoyance I do have didn’t allow me to realize he’d be attacked by a chimera.” Celestia was just staring hard at Luna now, not liking her tone or her words.

“...Which makes your judgement poor. At least my insistence for Anon to change his thought process was because, and we both can agree on this, it is highly degenerate and disgusting. Also, my decision sounds more official and royal.” Luna says, eyeing her sister as hard as she was doing to her.

“Hey! There’s nothing disgusting about those thoughts. They’re hot!” You shout out. Goddamn Luna, still not understanding… Oh god, she is suddenly giving you a death glare. “O-ok, maybe it’s a little d-degenerate.” Oh god, what did you get yourself into? They looked like they wanted to kill each other. “S-should I go?”

“Yes, I think my sister and I need to have a mor-GAH!” Suddenly, Celestia’s pancakes glow a dark night blue as one flies up and slaps her face. “Sister! Did you just initiate what I think you initiated? Do you not realize what you have done?!”

Luna just lets out a cackle as her own pancakes begin to hover around her. “Do you think I forgot about the rules of a royal food fight? No, despite it being too long, I will never forget such a game. Classic rules, my sister, the winning strike will decide who is truly the most wise within this room. Will it be you, will it be I, or will it be Anon?”

“Wait, did you just say me-AGDSFSDFD” Suddenly, the pot of syrup slams into your face and knocks you off your seat as you get drenched in syrup.

“Well, that’s Anon taken care of.” Luna cackles out as she rises in the air, ready for a fight. “Are you prepared, sister?”

Celestia nods, her horn glowing as carts of food started to roll in from the doors that led into the kitchen. “I am, sister. And I have brought my reinforcements.”

Luna smirked as she prepared herself “Reinforcements, hm? Well, let’s see how much that helps you. TO ARMS, MY SISTER, TO ARMS!”

Holy shit, next thing you knew, the dining room table flipped over as food suddenly started flying every which way as the sisters cackled, taunted, and hurled whatever was around at each other. Holy fucking christ, they were insane! You tried to run away, but you were so sticky that you ended up tripping forward. “Ugh, geez… Maybe if I EFSDFSD” As you turn around, you suddenly get slapped by a watermelon breaking upon your face. As the sweet and sticky taste of watermelon and syrup dripped off your face, you became silent and upset at yourself when you realized you had your horn at unlimited use that you could have used to avoid all this. You reach for it to put on your head, but geez, ugh… You felt so gross and sticky, eyuck. “Ogh, I feel so-SHIT! NO, WAIT! WAIT! I’M NOT A FOODSDAFDFSDFDF OMPH!” You suddenly felt grabbed by a magical force as you were hurled towards Luna. She managed to dodge as you just, ugh, slammed into the wall and very slowly slid down due to the syrup’s stickiness. You slowly land head first onto the ground as you gently flip onto your back. You just look up, unamused, groan, and place the horn on your head. “... Ok then, sisters are still capable of arguing with each other… Noted…”

And with that, you teleport yourself to the Crystal Empire. God, you felt like a tossed salad right now, geez.

W-well, that’s three down and one to go. Holy shit, what just fucking happened? It went from the usual amount of Celestia’s smug to her getting a tad pissy to Luna getting pissy and then you… Ugh, you were so damn sticky. How did this happen? When did the sisters become so argumentative? Whatever, fuck this shit, Cadance was sensible, this should be a walk in the park.

Near instantly, you appear in the audience chamber of the Crystal Castle. You look forward to see Cadance and Shining on their thrones, with little Flurry Heart in the legs of her mother. What was odd though was that Cadance looked quite horrified as Shining jumped forward, springing into action, and quickly announcing “Guards! Spears at the ready!”

OH GOD WHAT?! The next thing you knew, you had spears at your throat, ready to be plunged by Shining’s next command. Holy shit! What happened?! You were only here for two whole seconds and suddenly you were public enemy number one! “HOLY CRAP! WAIT! GEEZ! WHEN DID I BECOME THE BAD GUY?!”

“Wait… I know that voice.” Cadance murmurs to herself, then looks upon you from her throne as Flurry hides her face into her chest. “Anon?”

“YES! GEEZ! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?! I DON’T WANT TO BE SWISS CHEESE!” Oh man those pointy points are close to your necky neck.

“Guards! Stand down! It’s the hero colt, Anon.” Cadance commands, the guards immediately but reluctantly backing off as everyone in the room gives you a very confused look.

“Thank you, geez! What, I don’t show up in awhile and everypony jumps my case for it?! What was with that, Shining?!” You just look at him, rather pissed off he’d do such a thing upon your entrance.

“Dude, one, you just popped out of nowhere. And two, you totally look like a pink blob thing. I don’t know why you’d think that it’d be appropriate to show up looking like that, but my family and my kingdom comes first, and I didn’t even know what you were… So yeah, why do you look like that? And why do you smell like watermelon?” He asked, utterly confused about why you showed up, especially looking like that.

“Oh… Yeah, erm, hold on… Uhm, how would Discord do it?” Using the horn, you create a zipper on top of the goopy watermelon juice and syrup and pull down on it with your hoof, peeling away everything as you toss the goop aside like a costume. Although, it turns into mush upon hitting the ground. “I ended up in a royal food fight thing… I dunno, the princesses just went nuts.”

“Ah man, and we just got the floor nice and shiny too.” Shining sighed, annoyed and saddened by the fact the floor of the audience hall was now going to be very difficult to get cleaned up properly.

“Yes, that was a rather rude thing to do… And what’s this about a royal food fight? Anon, couldn’t you have just…” Cadance signs to herself, and steps off her throne as she uses her magic to place Flurry Heart on her back. She approaches you, calms herself, and asks. “You know, with all that magic you’re using, you could have at least cleaned yourself up before you got here. Before we even get into this, do you mind getting rid of your mess?”

Well geez, you expected her to be more cheery. What was her problem? It was an accident, you had just escaped from a goddamn war zone. “Alright, alright, sheesh. I can do that.” You look at your mess and aim at it with your horn. In an instant, the pile of syrupy fruity goop is launched through a window as the floor it launched from shined with cleanliness once more. “There we go!”

Cadance just looks at the window the goop flew out from, she could already hear a hapless pony screaming in terror as he yelled about how he was being attacked by some sort of fruit flavored honey bee. “Yup… There we go.” She put a hoof to her forehead and shook her head, displeased by it all, but worried you might do something worse if she calls you on anything else. “So, I myself don’t want to sound rude, but what are you doing here unannounced, in a threatening manner, that nearly caused Flash there to… Ahrm.”

Flash Sentry, being one of the guards who pointed a spear at you, was shaking to and fro frantically as he raised a hoof to get Cadance’s attention. “Princess Cadance, can I rush to the little stallion’s room? I gotta go reallllly bad!” He asked, being given permission with an immediate nod, prompting him to zip away as fast as possible to wherever the bathroom was.

“Hey, like I said, I got stuck in a royal food fight. Celestia even used me as a projectile! So excuse me for using my horn to bolt as soon as possible. Besides, I thought I was welcome here whenever.” Like fuck, Cadance, why did she seem to be in such a nasty mood?

“And you are, but you just teleported in here looking like some sort of primordial beast, you even scared our daughter. Out of all the places you could have teleported, was it really that important to teleport directly into our castle?” Cadance asked you, expecting a good answer as she wondered why the princesses were fighting.

“And what do you mean by royal food fight anyway? Are you saying Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are in some sort of battle?” Shining added, he too wondering what was going on as he tried to make sense of it.

“Actually, yes, it was kind of important that I had to teleport in here as I have to speak to the both of you about something really major, something I already have the backing of the three other princesses. As for the food fight, well, you got me. They both got into a fight because they didn’t agree with each other’s evaluation and judgment skills or whatever. Heck, that all really started because Luna was harassing me in my dreams.” You explain, hopefully that being good enough to calm the rather perturbed alicorn.

“...Oh, I actually had heard of Princess Luna having some sort of problem in a letter from Princess Celestia, but I didn’t know it was because of you. Didn’t realize it’d cause a fight like that either, wow, it must have been really serious then. So, what was bothering her? It wasn’t anything really too bad, was it?” Cadance’s expression turned from annoyed to that of a soft hearted mother who was lecturing her child. “Because, Anon, I know you enough that whatever was in your dreams can be extraordinary and weird.”

Oh come on, geez, was she really gonna do this? “Look, she got upset because my dreams had two… Yeah, I’m just going to say it, it had two mares, or various mares, ‘pleasing’ each other. And don’t even look at me or judge me, ok?! My dreams, mine! I can be degenerate as I want to be and I don’t wanna hear anything from you because I also saved your butt from the Storm King, got it?!” You said as you hopped forward, pointing a hoof at her.

“...Two mares? Huh…” Cadance seemed to actually give it some thought, looking up as she tapped at her chin. “Why does that bother her? I admit, you’re probably right about your thoughts being degenerate, but it’s not like two mares loving each other and being a couple doesn’t exist. It’s rare, but it’s totally a thing.”

Wut?... “Excuse me? You mean, an actual thing in Equestria?”

“...Wait, are you really saying this all happened because Princess Luna didn’t know that, and you didn't either? I mean, I knew that. Wow, so the princesses just started fighting because of that. Ok, I can see why you wanted to get out of there as fast as possible, that’s just dumb.” Shining added, seemingly bewildered that the princesses would fight over something like that.

But you? You didn’t even fucking… What?! “Wait, so how do you both know about it if Luna and Celestia didn’t?”

“Well, for me, that’s easy, I’m the Princess of Love. And love has no barriers, Anon. I’m not surprised Princess Luna doesn’t know about it. I’m also sure Princess Celestia does but doesn’t think it’s worth mentioning. Anon, let me give you a quick lesson on love and how it-” OH GOD NO, YOU DID NOT NEED TO HEAR THIS FROM CADANCE.

“Nope! Nope! Don’t wanna hear it. I really, REALLY, do not want to even think about how SJW this can get.” No, please god no, don’t let it be true. Was it Lyra and Bonbon? Fuck, it was wasn’t it? God… no, yes, no! It’s hot, but… They don’t seem to be shoving it in everyone’s faces. Then again, if they were pushing it into others' faces, you’d have known by now. Even then, you didn’t need to hear the whole shtick from lovebutt.

“I certainly don’t know what 'SJW' means, but if you feel that strongly about it, despite the fact you seem to dream about it, then fine.” Cadance rolled her eyes as she heard those words, she really didn’t understand what ‘SJW’ meant and why you suddenly seemed so dodgy when you mentioned you loved the thought of it. She would press you on why that is, but she also remembered you mentioned that you came by because of something important. “So then, why are you here? What is it that the other princesses agreed on? Because I haven’t been told anything.”

“Well…” Here we go, final favor to win. “I came to ask you if you’d have my back when it comes to trying to reform Queen Chrysalis again. I already have the ok from the other princesses, you’re the only one left. If you need me to explain anything, I am totally willing.”

Shining and Cadance did not seemed pleased at all about this. Hell, they looked more against it than Twilight did.

Shining merely raised an eyebrow, not believing you at all as he said. “Dude, do you really expect me to believe Twily agreed to that?”

Oh boy, she did more than that. “Dude, she promised me she would. She gave me her blessing before Luna and Celestia did.” Fuck, you could already tell this might be a little difficult though.

Shining narrowed his eyes at you, believing you were somehow bluffing. “You know I can just go and ask her.”

You then narrow your eyes at him. “I can open a portal directly to her if you want.”

“Ok you two, that’s enough, you don’t need to be aggressive with each other.” Cadance said as soon as she noticed you and Shining getting a little hostile with each other. Even further, she noticed you getting rather arrogant about it, which tipped her off that you were somehow telling the truth. “But I think Anon is telling the truth. He knows I could just go and ask if I needed to. But then, how did you do it? Anon, let me tell you right now, Shining and I have given it a lot of thought already. Queen Chrysalis abandoned her children and chose to remain evil even when enough physical proof existed that such a thing is a bad idea for a changeling. I would think you’d have realized that she had chosen her path, which means you’d have to protect your friends, family, and fellow ponies from her.” Cadance stops for a moment after she says that, as if she was pondering on something.

“She’s right, Anon. She made her choice, and you gotta pony up and make yours. She’s all sorts of bad news, trust me, I know first hoof. Nopony who knows the truth has anything against you for trying, it still led to a lot of good, but now you’re just being naive. C’mon, Anon, don’t do this to yourself.” Shining pleaded with you, not wanting to see you take some sort of wrong or misguided path.

“But she isn’t right!” You stomp your hoof down. Goddammit, it was two against one, wasn’t it? Still, you wouldn’t back down now! You were so close! “And when has she been a danger to anypony? As in, after the whole changeling reform thing. She has no followers, no way to execute any plans, no base of operations, nothing! Even further, I spoke to her recently! She’s lonely, ok? I can tell that she is. She’s even worried about what other ponies she has met think of her now! You hear me?! She actually cares what my marefriend thinks of her! If that sounds close to the Queen Chrysalis who nearly took over Canterlot, you tell me right now and we can forget the whole thing!”

Shining looked pretty surprised, not only by your words, but the fact that you had met up with Chrysalis with seemingly no fanfare or mention that you had at all. “You met with her again? Is that what you said? Anon, are you serious? That doesn’t sound like her at all, and we all know the only reason she’d act like that is to get your horn, and you know it!”

Cadance seemed a little more mindful about your words, and even listening to her husband, she did notice that you did, in fact, have your horn. “But he still has it, Shining.” She then looks to you, looking at you with a sterner expression. “Anon, you already have the go ahead from the other princesses, right?”

You nod “Yeah. Like I said, I even got Twilight’s.”

“Ok.” Cadance sighs as she closes her eyes, and thinks on it a little more. “Hard to say 'no' when everypony else has already said yes. Hmmm…” She then looks to you, wanting more information from your meeting with Chrysalis. “Anon, can you explain your entire encounter with Chrysalis for us? I think it’s important for us to know everything before we make our decision.”

“I’ve already made my decision. Cadance, c’mon, you know she’s just trying to pull a fast one!” Shining pleaded to her, trying to get her to realize that being ok with this is probably not the best idea.

“Maybe, but Shining, you know it’s hard to dispute when even Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are ok with it. And you know Twilight, she probably thought of a million different scenarios on how this all can go sour, and yet she still agreed to it. This also isn’t the same Anon we knew when we first met him. And don’t you think he’s proven his worth by defeating the Storm King? He’s probably good enough to join our royal guard by now if he really wanted to, you have to admit that.”

“Actually, I also recently beat Sombra too.” You point out.

“See? He even beat Som-WHAT?!” Cadance nearly double takes, looking back at you with wide eyes, in total disbelief, and even nearly knocks Flurry off her back. “YOU DID WHAT NOW?!”

“No way! Sombra got trashed a while ago, there’s no way you could have faced him!” Shining too, was in disbelief of your words.

“Is it really so hard to believe that my adopted son, who is nearly as great as I am, defeated Sombra?” That voice… Discord? Holy fuck! Discord?! Hmmm… You didn’t know how to feel about this, but you weren’t going to just jump to the conclusion that him suddenly being here would jeopardize your argument. No, you had to try to put your faith in him immediately, simply because you know how capable he is of being an asset when he stays on point. “How could you even forget that I can just bring back Sombra whenever I want? I do possess that power, you know?” Suddenly, the entire audience hall began to change into some kind of trial chamber. The guards were placed in audience seats as Cadance, Shining, and even Flurry appeared on a set of judges’ seats, all of them given a judge gown and poofy powdered wigs. You were given a black suit with a red tie as you suddenly found yourself at a defendant’s desk, with Discord, garbed in a blue suit, red tie, and small reading glasses, appeared next to you, placing down a suitcase as he took a seat. “Your honors, I present to you exhibit A.” Discord opens his briefcase and shoves it forward, revealing blue bacon, a piece of Sombra’s horn, and some chunks of metal. “Sombra’s remains… And my breakfast.”

“Discord! Stop messing around! How could that even be Sombra? Aside from the horn, it doesn’t look like him at all! We’re trying to have a serious discussion here, so leave!” Shining said, getting further annoyed now that Discord had arrived, not willing to take any of his shit.

“Oh ye of small mind, it is Sombra, it’s just… Hmm… Well, as Anon would put it, he had a second form. Look, your honors, I admit to ACCIDENTLY reviving Sombra for the sake of an O&O campaign. But that isn’t the highlight here, no, the highlight is not only is my son more well learned than ever in the ways of Equestrian ponies and friendliness etiquette, to the point of having Twilight levels of reformation ability, but he is also powerful enough to defeat a fearsome being like Sombra without much effort. Yes, you could say it’s the power of the horn, but not many could handle that kind of power like he can. Knowing all this, can you really deny his request to reform the former queen of the changelings?”

Cadance loses focus for a moment when she notices her daughter playfully hugging onto a little toy gavel. She gives her a gentle pat, then looks over to Discord, putting on a strong stoic expression, maybe a little too strong. It seemed like she was actually getting into this. “A strong argument to be sure, but we still don’t know the details of the meeting between Queen Chrysalis and your client.” Cadance leans forward, looking a little smug as she spins her gavel in the air with her magic. “I’d really like to know what happened before I make a judgment.”

“Cadance, are you seriously considering any of this?” Shining was in disbelief to even hear his wife entertaining the thought of considering anything other than ‘no’.

“I mean, we’re the judges, and Anon isn’t making a request based on just his gut. Look, even Discord is here to defend his cause, he's not even causing any of his usual shenanigans. I think, just maybe, we should forget our grudges and just hear him out, ok?” Cadance looks back at her husband, hoping to get him to calm down so he’d hear you out. “I know what you’re thinking. I know what she did to you, to me, and almost to Equestria. I know we have a lot to protect, including our daughter. But if what we hear is sufficient enough to sway us, then we’ll have to put our biases and prejudices away and help him anyway we can, you understand that, right?”

Shining grumbled to himself for a second, then groaned as he leaned back. “Yeah… I know that. I’m just saying though, even if we support Anon, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t watch our backs.”

Cadance nods. “Very true, I won’t deny that, I know we should still be wary just in case, but we’ll handle that later. Anyway…” Cadance then turns to you “Anon, please, explain to us what happened to bring this all about."

“Wait!” Shining suddenly yells out.

“W-what? What’s wrong, Shining?” Cadance looks back at her husband, confused as to why he stopped things so suddenly.

“I mean…” Shining leans back, twiddling the gavel between his hooves as he suddenly put on a smug expression. “Aren’t we going to have him swear to us first? We are the residing royals and judges.”

“Oh… Ha! That’s right, we do need to do that.” Cadance chuckled “Discord, can you swear in your client?”

“Of course I can.” Discord says with a snap, as he teleports you onto the witness stand. He steps out from behind his desk, steps over to you, and holds a book titled ‘Crystal Empire Law.’ as he brings it near you. “Anon, do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you them?” Discord asks as he points over to Cadance and Shining Armor.

Well, this is fun. Looks like with Discord’s help, you were going to get through this no problem. You put your hoof on the book, and nod with a great big smile. “I swear.”

Oh yeah baby, with Discord's help, you were sure to make a clean sweep!

“...And that’s what happened. That’s why I feel she can be reformed.” You had just explained your entire story. From when Chrysalis barged into the room to the part where she zapped you and left. The whole truth, and nothing but.

“You see? Your honors, my client had a pleasant chat with Queen Chrysalis. He learned she had become insecure, that she had become ever so lonely, her sanity chipped away some due to losing her children and in the belief of losing her friendship. Would you, your honors, say that you’d leave one to suffer their own insane delusions and degradation of their sanity because of one simple attempt to take over everything? I believe Princess Twilight herself believes in the magic of friendship, and that’s truly the reason she is willing to let this happen. And you too, your honors, believe in such a thing, correct?” Discord said as he paced, adjusting his glasses. “Yes, it’d be safer to just lock her away in a dungeon. But as you have just heard, she’s suffered enough. He’s so close, he just needs your support to make this a success.” Discord then looks to Cadance and Shining as he takes off his glasses to clean them. “I rest my case, your honors. As you have heard, even Anon’s little marefriend sees her as a sister, keep that in your mind as you make your decision.”

Daaaamn, Discord has got it really going on today. With your story and his manipulative act, things should be going your way pretty soon.

“Discord, ‘your client’ just said she tried to end him the moment she found him! Maybe she just backed off when he managed to get the upper hoof, did you think of that?!” Shining challenged, believing Chrysalis to have been faking it as he had never heard of anypony suddenly shifting attitudes after a failed assassination attempt. They usually just fake it, run, or try to finish the job.

“Weren’t you listening? She zapped him without finishing him off, which would allow her to take his horn. She also did not decide to ruin his faux wedding afterwards either. Her assassination attempt was out of crazed desperation. Heck, if you want to hear about actual evil doing that happened that day, I actually tried to end Anon too, and for much pettier reasons. And yet here I am without so much as a slap on the wrist” Discord says as he puts his glasses back on as he goes to adjust the contents of his suitcase.

“What?! But why?! Why would you… Wait, are you just lying to try to justify your point?” Cadance asked, finding it unbelievable that Discord would try to end you. Even she understood the bond between you two was pretty solid.

You? God, you just slammed your head on the witness stand. So much for being helpful, holy christ. he was just making them more suspicious.

“Yes and no. I did technically try ending Anon through proxy. See, it’s mostly Starlight Glimmer’s fault, she felt altering one of my perfect if rushed clones with a request would prove more helpful to her. Little did she know such a foolish whim would cause said clone to be so devoted to her that he’d try to sap Anon’s essence to become his own everliving Draconequus. And that, your honors, would be truly dreadful.” Discord explained

“Because you’d have lost one of your best friends?” Cadance asked

“No, because then I’d have to deal with some second rate Draconequus trying to upstage me. Could you imagine, another spirit of chaos thinking he was better than I am, as well being in the eternal servitude of a Twilight knockoff? How much more bootleg can you get, am I right?” Discord says with a smirk as he shrugs towards Cadance and Shining.

“...Ok, so, how exactly is that supposed to convince us to give Chrysalis a chance? She went nuts and tried to end Anon, and instead of owning up to it, she zaps him and makes her escape. Ok, fine, she didn’t attempt to try to take his horn afterwards, but she still tried to do it when she showed up. If you ask me, Anon just managed to get the upper hoof on her, and by doing so she lost her chance at ending him because doing it in your house would have been… Well…” Shining looks over to Flurry, and gives her a smile “Well, let’s just say anypony who’d hurt my Flurry within our own home wouldn’t be standing there for very long.”

Discord looked over to Shining, ready to give his answer, but then he suddenly stopped and began to ponder. Indeed, to him, that did sound like something he couldn’t exactly argue against. He knows that he himself would lose it if anyone hurt you or Fluttershy. So to him, it made sense that Chrysalis wouldn’t try anything within his own home. That also meant that suddenly, he had to think of something else.

But you? No, there was much more than that! You slam your hooves on the stand and then point over to Shining, giving him a fierce look as you scream out “OBJECTION!”

“Guh?! Huh? Uh, you do know that your lawyer is supposed to be the one to say that, right?” Shining looks back down at you, confused as to why you’d just call that out.

Cadance giggles for a moment, then begins to whisper to him. “Shining, my love, you do know this isn’t an actual trial and you’re not an actual judge, right? Methinks you’re roleplaying a little too hard. It’s cute, but you kind of have to take yourself out of the moment.”

“Wha, huh? O-oh, right, right.” Shining, it seemed, had started to get into the whole ‘court’ thing, taking his role more seriously than he should, up until his wife reminded him that now he was being silly. “Ahrm, right… Still, what’s up with the objection, Anon? Unless you have another explanation as to what happened.”

“I do” You really did. They weren’t there, and they were never there when it came to you and Chrysalis. At this point, you knew her enough that at this moment, you could come to her defense and have Cadance’s and Shining’s favor. “Yeah, she tried to end me. And yeah, it was because she went nuts, we all get that. But let me tell you both something, I’m not taking it badly, and do you wanna know why? I’ll tell you why. Chrysalis is evil because that’s how she’s always been, how she’s always thought she had to be for not only her survival, but the survival of her children. You can’t just call her a coward either, she went head first into Canterlot with you placed in a crystal prison and Shining under her spell. It was super risky, but if she succeeded, she’d have a whole new kingdom to herself and many ponies for her kids to feed off of. Why do I mention this? It’s because that’s my best example as to what she does to make sure her hive survives. She had no idea that her species could become rainbow bug things that didn’t need to drain and feast on love to survive, it never even crossed her mind. And yet, before that even happened, I managed to befriend her, this evil bug. And through befriending her, I saw what was beyond her black heart, and what I saw was a bug who just wanted to live life her own way, and yet was ignorant in the ways of others. Even if she was still evil, through our friendship she managed to care about others who weren’t her children, she was able to drop her grudges and evil pretenses to not only help save an Equestria, but also save my life. And she saved it twice, you know? She even had the horn in her hooves before, and yet she gave it back to me anyway. I learned that deep down, Chrysalis was probably just like you and me, and was just wanting somepony that she could connect and bond with. Maybe, just maybe, with a little more time, I could have done something. But…” You let out a heavy sigh “Maybe I wasn’t ready for that either, as she did have a habit of manipulating me when she wanted something. But now I have my chance, and it’s because of the reason she tried to end me that let’s me see said chance. She lost her kids, ok? She actually cared about them. Are you both going to tell me you’d have been of sound mind if you lost your home, your kingdom, and Flurry Heart? I don’t know about you, but if that happened to me, whoever caused it would not be standing for very long. And yet, despite me being her target, she chose to let me live. It wasn’t just the horn, and I doubt she'd have cared about killing me at my dad's place or not. She was crazy at that point, and she was angry enough to want to end me no matter what. My cowardice and reluctance got her kids taken away from her, that’s enough, in anyponys’ eyes, I think, to want to end them. And yet, here I am, healthy and unscathed. I spoke with her, ok? She’s very lonely and very hurt, and she needs a friend more than ever before she loses her mind completely. So I’m asking you, the both of you, please… Let me do this, and have my back. I promise I can make this work” You look at them with pleading eyes. Please goddammit, just allow this to happen. Your face was twitching, as if you were about to break into tears. Goddamn, you put your all into that speech.

The air was suddenly tense as silence filled the room. Even Shining didn’t seem to have a rebuttal to that. Even as a minute passed, there was no response from anyone.

After yet another minute, Discord let out a gigantic groan as he slumped forward. “Ugh, now I’m bored. Look, we all know that you’re about to agree with Anon, probably with some sort of condition like keeping a progress report or something like that. Well, let me tell you both that if he has to give a progress report to anypony, then it should be Twilight.”

“I- Uh… Yeah, ok, fine…” Shining let out a gruff breath of defeat as he leaned back in his seat. “That’s pretty hard to argue. I could imagine, if Twily was in that situation, that’d she’d want to go against everypony to save somepony like Chrysalis. As for the report, given my sis has a school to run, I think Cadance and I should handle it. That is, if you also think this is all ok?” Shining asks Cadance, looking to her to see if she approves.

“I’m fine with it, that was a very heartfelt speech. It touched me right here.” Cadance says as she brings a hoof to her chest, right where her heart is. “I’m surprised though, Shining, I thought you’d still be against all this after that. What really changed your mind?”

“I dunno… I guess it just reminded me of something Twily would say, that’s all.” Shining said, his smiling warming up as he gave a shrug.

“Something Twil- SOMETHING TWILY WOULD SAY?! ARGH!” Discord stepped back, as if he was in pain, as he grabbed his head in frustration “Anon! What have you done!? You’re not supposed to be like her! ARGH! I CAN FEEL MY VERY SOUL BURNING!” Discord screamed out as he began to turn red.

“Hey! What’s your problem with my sister anyway?! Why do you always have to bug her?!” Shining demanded an answer, peeved by Discord’s reaction.

Discord, who had already began to scream in pain, suddenly stopped as he crossed his arms at Shining dismissively while still on fire. “Well, to be truthful, I really don’t have too much of a problem with her. It’s just that she reacts to every little thing in a rather hilarious fashion and I oh so love to press her buttons to cause such reactions. It’s the reason I’d like Anon to write her progress reports instead, I simply would find it more interesting to see her react over you two. You both are simply just too boring.”

“Hey! I’m not boring! Do you even have any idea how many issues of Power Ponies I own? Heh, more than you I bet!” Shining said, giving Discord a smug smile as he lets out a chuckle “Boring, did you hear that Cadance? Man, I’d even say I’m just as good at throwing parties as Pinkie Pie is.”

“Honey, nopony is as good at throwing a party like Pinkie Pie, not even you.” Cadance said, almost in a tone as harsh as her words. Shining, without a word, suddenly curled up a tad, giving a soft whine, and not daring to argue with Cadance so publicly in front of his own guards lest she suddenly says something worse. “As for you, Discord, you barely even come around enough to make that kind of decision. I’ll let you know that Shining and I can be very fun if we want to be.”

You raise a hoof to mention how that could be interpreted as a double entendre, but you put it back down in fear it might screw up the fact that you finally were a go for your plan. However, you could already tell Discord was walking into something he might not be able to win, so you speak up to at least get him to cool down. “Dad, hey, you just wanna go? I don’t think now is the time for this kind of thing, if you know what I mean.”

“Wait, Anon, I’m dealing with the laughable accusation that I somehow can’t pick out how unfun these two are.” Discord grabs a bucket from out of thin air, and pours chocolate all over himself, dousing his flames. He then licks it all up with a ridiculously long tongue, which upon doing so, he begins to lean on his arm as he gives Cadance and Shining a cocky grin. “Chaos Flambe ala Me, how delicious. If I had an audience, they’d be applauding at such a wonderful trick.” Discord says with a chuckle as he dons on a chef’s outfit, complete with large poofy hat.

Cadance looks over to the guards sitting in the gallery, noticing none of them were stomping their hooves or clapping. She could just mention that he did in fact have an audience, and that they didn’t cheer for him, but she had a more wholesome idea. “Well, if you say so. But I want you to watch this, Discord. As not only will this be entertaining, but it will also be quite cute!” Cadance leans back as she uses her magic to bring Flurry to her face, giving her a boop to her nose with her own as she says in a cute cuddly voice. “Flurry! Hi! Hi, Flurry! Can you say Momma?”

Flurry giggled adorably, and then with big adorable eyes, squeaked “Momma!”

“Mhmm! Very good!” Cadance said with a cheery grin, the guards in the gallery reacting with the usual ‘awwws’ one would give to such an adorable sight. Cadance then points over to Shining and asks. “And who is that? That’s Daddy, right?”

Discord noticed that while the guards had not reacted to his magical trick, that they were reacting to Cadance and Flurry. He just crossed his arms and mumbled to himself. “Biased chumps.”

“Daddy!” Flurry cheered as Shining waved to his daughter, flexing his legs to get Flurry to giggle and clap. Once again, the guards ‘aww’ and clap in unison.

“Oh, and look over there!” Cadance points over to you “It’s your friend, Anon! He’s a hero and saved mommy from a bad ole king. Come on! Can you say ‘Anon’?”

Aww, even though you had picked up that Cadance was just trying to get a rise out of Discord, you decide to play along anyway and give Flurry a wave. It’s been awhile, enough for you to get used to her existence. Or maybe you just felt softer about it because she was being cute. Either way, having accepted her, you found her boundless energy and adorableness quite endearing.

But when Flurry looked at you, her expression went from cheery and cute to upset. She began to hug onto Cadance, hiding her face from you. Seriously? C’mon, why did she hate you so much?

“Flurry? What’s wrong?” Cadance asked, despite knowing Flurry couldn’t properly respond.

“I know what’s wrong. Probably afraid of having to look at Discord for too long.” Shining said with a chuckle as he used his magic to bring Flurry over to him. As if she had immediately forgotten what had upset her, Flurry cheered once again as Shining gently placed her on his head. “There we go. Don’t worry, Anon, Flurry was just a little afraid of your dad, it has nothing to do with you. Trust me, Flurry loves being around other kids. Ok, Flurry, say hi to Anon.”

You watch as Shining slowly brings Flurry close to you with his magic. Like before, Flurry starts to whine and fidget as she draws closer to you. Goddammit! What is it about you that made her uncomfortable?! That whole thing where you turned into a monster chameleon was so long ago! You were fucking cute for fuck’s sake, she should at least be curious and want to grab your face! No, instead her horn is just lighting up and… WAIT “WAIT! PULL HER BACK! PUL-” And in the next instant, you are grabbed by a magical aura, and then blasted upwards through an open window as everyone in the room but Discord gasped in shock.

Discord just chuckles and says “Nevermind, that actually was pretty entertaining.”

You flew through the air into the cold northern mountains. At this point, you had stopped screaming, more blown away that you once again let yourself get literally blown the fuck out by a goddamn baby. Yes, even as you passed by cold frigid mountain tops, you were more focused on the fact that you were sent soaring in the air because Cadance and Shining can’t teach their baby a little self control. Well, ok, maybe teaching a baby self control is tough, but come fucking on! This was ridiculous! What if she sends someone willing to start a war over into the stratosphere? That filly needs to leAFDSA.

Your thoughts are stopped short as you suddenly find yourself in a large catcher’s mitt at the peak of a mountain. “And they’re out of there! Discord leads another inning for the Chaos Boulderdashers! Just listen to that crowd!” You hear from a distance as a sudden cheer from all around you fills your ears. Yep, it was Discord. You shift yourself in his mitt and pop your head out, shifting your gaze upwards to see the draconequus looking at you, garbed in baseball gear. “Have a nice flight, Anon?”

Thank god he caught you, who knows where you would have ended up. “Heh, kind of. The view was nice, but sheesh” You look back down where you came from, your face becoming scrunchy as the thought bugs you more and more. “That baby needs a leash.”

“I don’t think so.” Discord says with a quick chuckle “She’s got quite the throw. I think she has a future in buckball.”

“Yeah, yeah… Whatever.” You say with a sigh as you just stare downwards. Discord’s glove was actually quite warm, as you found yourself not freezing despite the peak of the mountain being rather snowy. You continue to stare for a little while longer before you let out a soft chuckle. “I’m good to go through with Chrysalis. Heh, thanks for the help.”

“A pleasure, especially since we all know you couldn’t have done it without my help. And speaking of help, I couldn’t help but ask if you could lend me your help.” Discord said as he began to shift position, looking into the distance.

“That’s a lot of help.” Was he being serious? Well, if he was, you wouldn’t mind giving him a hand in return for his help. You had what you wanted, all four princesses had given you the ok. Really, considering this was to prevent eternal pony damnation for someone you cared about, you couldn’t be too upset or unwilling due to being thrown out. “So what do you need help with?”

Discord opens up and reaches into a dark void, pulling out a small sheet of paper. “I’m trying to bake a NORMAL cake to congratulate Fluttershy’s first day of teaching. Yes, I know, normality is quite the chaos killer when it comes to a handsome draconequus such as I, which is why they are going to be fitted with candles that will explode like mini fireworks upon being lit up. And don’t worry, Anon, I have made sure that the explosive sound of such a grand show will be mitigated to mostly Ponyville itself. A small price to pay to make sure Fluttershy and her little furry friends don’t have their ears blown out.”

You roll your eyes with a chuckle “A small price, oh yeah, I’m sure. But can’t you just go shopping yourself? Or is there something you’re confused about?”

“I actually am confused about something. This here, right here.” Discord brings the small sheet of paper down to where you could see it and points to an ingredient that hasn’t been lined out yet, so you can assume it's an ingredient he still needs. “This is what I’m missing.”

You extend yourself out of his glove, just a tad, to take a better look at the paper. Wait, that one item… Was he kidding? “Butter? You need help getting butter? You serious?”

“Quite serious, I just don’t know what kind of butter this could be referring to. There must be thousands of types and I just don’t know where to begin.” Discord said, giving the paper a light smack as he stares at it, puzzled.

“Why don’t you just get, like, regular butter?” Like, he had to be joking. “That’s probably what it’s referring to.”

“Is there such a thing? That sounds more boring than I anticipated. Is it truly that easy?” Discord asked “I can’t believe it can be that simple.”

“Well, it is. Look, hold out your paw.” You ask him, and as he does so, you put on your horn and summon up a regular stick of butter for him to use. “There, see? Even imagined it being taken from a random store so it’d cause some chaos. This is the butter for the cake, since you’re probably making a butter cake.”

“Butter cake… Hmmm. I suppose that makes sense, which was what I was going for. Thanks, Anon, you’ve been a big help! I’ll make sure to save you a slice once it’s baked.” Discord says as he tosses the butter into the void, then gently begins to pet you.

“Ahh, heh, no problem. Ah man, this is great. Now that I finished up with the princesses, I can enjoy the rest of the day with my unlimited power. Y’know, first thing I should do is check up on Cozy Glow, since she might be havi-u-uhhh? Discord, what are you SEAFDFSDAF” You had no chance to say anything further as you felt yourself get partially sucked into the glove. Discord then began to wind up for what seemed to be a pitch.

“Game is seven six, but the opposing team has three on base. Discord on the mound, two strikes, one more for an out.” You could hear an announcer scream out, while Discord seems to be spitting something out of his mouth. “Discord only needs to throw a winning pitch to win it for the Chaos Boulderdashers! Will he do it? Or will he shame all of… Hrn, according to the teleprompter, Discord never brings shame to anything. Well, who am I to argue when it comes to announcing this drab Earth sport?”

Wait… was he gonna? OH GOD NO! You try yelling out to him, but you just can’t get your words out. Goddammit, after all that praise, he still had to be… Oh god, you could feel movement… OH GOD NO! NO! NO! SHIT! “Discord! DISCORD! DON’T DO IT MAN! DON’T DOOOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” And he done do it, he did. He hurled you like a flaming fireball back towards Ponyville, and holy shit, everything was zooming past you as if you were a bullet. You were screaming, screaming for dear life! You were going to… Wait, you had your horn. You could simpl-EWTGEDFDE.

Your thoughts, and indeed, your movement come to a full stop in a dunking fashion as you collide with the water of the town square fountain. How you survived? Probably was intended. You raise your head, spit out the water, and take a deep breath. Mumbling angrily to yourself, you notice the purple pink pony statue looking back at you. You just groan and say “Whatcha looking at?” It does not reply.

Ugh, dammit Discord, why did he have to be like that? Why do you keep asking yourself that question?

You climb out of the fountain and shake yourself off like a dog. Then, when you take a look around, you notice a few ponies staring at you, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. “Sorry! Sorry, Everypony! Was just uhh… Practicing my meteor dives… For uh, quick hero missions. Uh… Yep!” You say, just to make sure no one would think… Would think… Would think what exactly? Man, screw this. You grab your horn and wave at the crowd “Anyway! Gotta go!”

Finally, using your magic and your memory of Cozy Glow, you manage to appear in... Huh, these walls looked like you were back in Twilight’s school. But there was a cozy little bed, a small bookcase, a toy box, a closet, and a work table. Everything looked as stylish as the rest of the school, like something straight out of Hogwarts...but with brighter colors. Hrn, you wondered if Cozy would be here or if she’d still be in a class. “Cozy Glow? Hey, sorry to literally pop in all of a sudden. But, ya know, just wanna make sure you’re alright.”

“Professor Anon?” You heard her, that soft gentle and angelic voice. You turn over back to the bed and could see Cozy glow slightly poking her head out curiously, staring right at you. “Oh golly, you sure weren’t kidding when you said you popped in, I didn’t even see you open the door. But umm…” Cozy flew upward then towards you to give you a gentle little hug. “It’s weally good to see you! How’d you know I was on a lunch break?”

Uhhhhhhhhh… “I’m just cool like that, hehe” You say, doing your best to look honest.

“Gee, I wish I could be cool like that. But mnnnn.” Cozy plops on her butt, and looks down with a frown. “I already ate all my food. I feel bad now, I would have saved some for you if I knew you were coming.”

D’aaaaaaaaaaawwww! She’s so adorable! You give her a more confident smile and pat her on the head. “Pft, no need to get sad over that. What’s important is that you eat all your food so you get big and strong, like me!”

And she just completely bought it, looking at you with deep admiration. “Oh my! You’re right, Professor! I oh so do want to become big and strong like you!” She says with sugar sweetness in her voice. “Is that why you’re here? To teach me to be big and strong?” She asked, looking at you with big shimmering eyes.

God, this adorable filly, you were gonna die of diabetes “Well, no, things like that are for when you’re erm… A little older. What I did come here for was to make sure you, my future star student, is having a good day today. Nopony is giving you any trouble, right?” You ask her, giving her a cute little boop on the nose, eliciting a giggle out of her.

“Oh, nope, nothing like that so far, Professor! Everypony here is so nice, and the professors are really good at teaching friendship. Um, it’s also only the first day, so we haven’t learned too much yet! Although…” She looks down, frowning again as she rubs her front hooves together nervously. “I am having a little trouble with the first day assignments from Professor Fluttershy. For some reason, some of the animals seem kind of scared around me. I wish I knew why…” She suddenly started to tear up. “Maybe I’m just unlikable…”

WHHHHHAAAAAT?! “Nahhhhh! No no! Don’t even think that!” You reach on over and pull her in for a gentle and warming hug. “Trust me, it’s nothing like that at all. In fact, let me tell you a secret. Despite me being Aunt Fluttershy’s cute and awesome nephew, some of her animals don’t really like me either. I don’t really know why, but sometimes that's the way things are, and you gotta accept that. You gotta remember that they’re animals, and sometimes they just don’t know any better.”

“W-wow, I never thought of it like that.” Cozy said as she wiped a tear from her eye, showing off a weak but increasingly strengthening smile. “Y-you’re amazing, Professor Hero Colt Anon! The besty westy!” She dives in for another hug, it just makes you smile warmly as you gently slide your hoof along her back. She was like the kid sister you never had.

“Ah, it wasn’t anything. Just some wise words a professor of a friendship school might actually say.” Man, you felt really big right now. Your ego was growing, but it was fine, she was innocent enough, she wouldn't catch on to your arrogance.

“I very very very much agree! And I think Little Anon agrees too! He’s so nice, he’s been watching over me since you gave him to me. Oh! Also, I need to show you, you need to see! Little Anon learned a new trick while you were away!” Cozy said in excitement, hovering towards her toybox as she began to sift through it.

Ah yeah, the doll you conjured up for her. Man, you almost felt pretty sad for her given you thought that’d be her only friend, but then you remember that she’s so young, so it’s probably just a little girl thing, little girls do love their dolls. Though, a new trick? What new trick could a doll possibly learn? You merely watched as she finally pulled out the little doll of you. And then something catches your eye immediately. Strings, puppet strings to be exact. She was now handling the doll like a puppet as she made it dance, giggling as she made the little 'you' do a bow before making a single spin.

“See? He learned to dance for me! And he’s a really good dancer too! Professor Anon, are you also a weally good dancer?” Cozy looked to you, a sweet smile on her face as she continued to manipulate the doll.

“Yeah, I’m uh… Pretty good. Why do you ask?” You ask her, hoping she wasn’t falling for you, hoping she didn’t want some sort of romantic little dance.

“Oh, no weason. I was just wondering if you could dance to any tune, that’s all. Oh!” She giggles as she looks at you. She could tell, it seems, that you felt a little uncomfortable about that question. “Professor, don’t worry. Like I said, I so so respect your relationship with your special somepony. The reason I asked was because erm…” She hesitated for a moment before shifting her eyes left and right and whispering “I can’t dance… And I just thought you could teach me. Although, if it makes you uncomfortable, I could always ask Professor Rarity and… OH NO! My lunch break is over and I’m gonna be late for her class! I gotta hurry!” Cozy says as she rushed back towards her toy box to put away the doll of you. She then ran up to you and did a little bow “Thank you so so so much for the help, Professor. I can’t wait until we meet each other again!”

Heh, you reach over for one more comforting hug before letting her go. “Same, and you take care, remember what I told you, and remember this: As long as you're nice, sweet, and caring, making friends will be a snap!”

“Golly gee, I sure do believe it! Bye bye now! See you soon!” Cozy said as she hovered upwards and zipped to her door, leaving to the hallway to rush towards Rarity’s class.

You just snickered to yourself, letting your arrogance flow through you. “Goddamn Twilight, how could you not make me a professor? I got this shit down!”

You just sat there for awhile, just looking around Cozy’s room, wondering what you should do next. Well, what you should probably do is consult someone you can trust about Chrysalis. You had to make sure your plan was perfect. Perfect, not only in your own way, but in a way a pony like Twilight would do it just to cause a heel turn shift. Chrysalis was a tough cookie to crack, and you needed just a little bit of a pony advantage on her to help you convince her. Essentially, you needed a season ender way to convince her to convert that was also in your style so it wouldn’t seem too pansy or pathetic. You had to make sure this works, so you needed to make sure you had all your bases covered.

So who would help you with this endeavor? Well, none other than Bon Bon and Lyra of course, the only two adult mares you could trust one hundred percent with something like this without getting some sort of lecture like Twilight or Starlight would give you. Plus, Bon Bon was smart, so that was a major plus. It’s not like you truly needed the help, you just felt you needed a little… Ugh, you just wanted some reassurance, that’s all. Yeah, that’s not too bad! You can do it! But what if she won’t help? Nah, Lyra will be happy to help! And with her wanting to help, so will Bon Bon.

Yes, once you figure something out, you’ll totally be able to help Chrysalis without an issue. Hell, you already felt confident since Cozy Glow was a nice warm up. Yeah, you got this, no problem.

So what about after the consultation? You planned to see Chrysalis tomorrow once you had everything finalized, but what about today? You had unlimited power, and you wanted to strut your stuff, but how? Wait… WAIT! What better way to strut your stuff than to battle Starswirl himself! Yesssss, what better way indeed. You had thought about it before, and you didn’t like him too much considering he seemed to only see you as some sort of test subject, so why not let him test you? Why not beat his test, beat his ass, and then gloat about it? You, Anon, defeating the legendary Starswirl the Bearded.

Man, it was a good idea. You didn’t know what he was up to these days, but you were sure that the guy still had to be on top of his game. Yeah! This was an awesome idea! In fact, you place your hoof on your ear and activate your codec to contact Discord, you wanted to know how he felt about you bringing glory to the ways of chaos by beating Starswirl in a fight. “Discord, yo, Discord.”

“Hmm? Ugh, Anon, did you have to call right now? I’m in the middle of making a sweet feast for all of us tonight. Decided to make it a family affair. So, unless this is important, I’d like to have some focus if you don’t mind.” Said Discord.

Ugh, him sounding annoyed really put a dagger through your good mood. Whatever, he was busy, just say what you need to say and move on. Although you did wish he was more excited to hear what you had to say. “Oh, uh, I was just calling to say that I decided I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna challenge Starswirl in a bit, trounce him, and make sure glory is brought to our name. Uh, how does that sound?”

But there was silence.

“Discord?” Did he hang up on you?

“Go on… Surely you have a little more than that. Tell me, just tell me, do you plan on utterly crushing him? Or just beating him?” Discord asked, his tone becoming a little malicious. "Seems a little random that'd you even challenge him. Unless you finally went mad with power."

"Nah, just want to put all this power to good use!" Oh baby, here we go! Now you got his interest. “Dude, I’m gonna obliterate his ass, non-fatally of course. Think about it, imagine how much you can hold this over Twilight that me, your adopted son, beat the greatest unicorn magician there ever was.”

“Hm? Oh no, I have no interest in rubbing it in Twilight’s face.” Discord said, in a bored fashion.

Wut? “Are you joking me? She’d have a meltdown for sure knowing I beat Starswirl.”

“Anon, she has a meltdown over everything. No, I say we hold it over Celestia and Luna. Now those two finding out you beat Starswirl would truly be hilarious. I think Celestia would be more in denial of it than Luna.” Discord said

“Oh man, you think they’d react that badly? Huh? Why Celestia? Luna seems more like the type to be in denial.” Like seriously, Luna can’t even admit she likes multiple stallions.

“Trust me, Celestia will have more of a reaction. She always had a better understanding of him than Luna has, so his defeat will cause her to lose a few of her marbles for a little bit.” Discord explained

“Huh, interesting, aaaannnddd something I’m looking forward to. Trust me, Discord, I’m gonna wipe the floor with him.” You said, chuckling darkly at the thought of defeating such a legend.

“Hmm, in that case, I’ll make sure to prepare a special something for you for tonight. And speaking of which, do be sure to show up at the cottage at sundown, Anon, with something cute to wear. You can make it, can’t you?” Discord asked

“Sure thing, no problem. I’ll do this thing I gotta do, beat Starswirl, then come to the cottage to wrap up the day.” You tell him.

“You make it sound so casual. Well, anyway, I need to finish my baking, so you have a pleasant and victorious day, Anon.” Discord said.

“I will, trust me, I will.” You tell him as you close the line. Oh yeah, with unlimited power, there was no way you could lose to Starswirl. There was simply no way.

And with that, you focus your horn towards Bon Bon’s house. Within a flash of light, you appear right in front of her door. “Alright, be casual, Anon. You know they love ya.” You take a deep breath and knock on the door. “Bon Bon, Hi! Are you in there? It’s me! Anon!” You call out.

You hear the door unlock and open with Bon Bon standing behind it, and she looked a little aggravated. Though, she puts on a smile when she sees it is you. “Anon, hey! What brings you here?”

“Oh, I just came to talk to you about something. Erm, is something up? You look a little tense.” Like, yeah, you had to wonder what was bothering her to make her look perturbed when she opened the door.

“I’m just aggravated with myself. Was supposed to go to Canterlot today to meet up with Lyra and her friends there. But somehow, SOMEHOW, I lost the ticket… Wait, you wouldn’t have a charge on that horn, would you?” Bon Bon asked as she glanced down at it.

Heh, well now, this can work. Your head was already plotting. Trade a consultation to a teleport to Canterlot, no problem. Looks like you wouldn’t need Lyra afterall. “Yeah, and I already know what you’re thinking, and I’d be glad to teleport you to Canterlot if… You help me with a problem first? Erm, it’s nothing too big, I just wanna talk about something, that’s all.”

Bon Bon took a sharp breath, closed her eyes, and opened her door wide for you as she stepped aside. “Ok, I already know what this one is about, step on through and we’ll talk about Chrysalis.”

Oh… Huh… She figured it out that quick, huh? “Uhm, how’d you know I wanted to talk about that?” You ask as you step through.

“Because I’m not dumb. I was waiting for this to happen eventually, considering we knew she showed up at the wedding. And before you ask, the body language of your friend Starlight was really telling.” Bon Bon said, looking stoic as she sat herself on her couch, laying on it like a cat and making enough space for you to sit. “So let me guess then, you’re finally gonna go out and reform her, right? Looking for some advice?”

Fucking shit, she was really on point. It was so unreal that it made you feel a little nervous as you climbed up on her couch and sat, looking at her directly yet reluctantly. “E-erm, yeah, that is it. Erm… To be specific, I just want to add a little pony into my plan, that’s all. I think maybe a little of the simple gentle stuff ponies are capable of might help me, erm… I just don’t know exactly how to go about it.”

Bon Bon just scoffed, finding your line of thinking ridiculous. “Losing your confidence already? Wow, Anon… C’mon, you KNOW that won’t work on her. She became your friend because of who you are, and I know you’re smart enough to know that I didn’t need to tell you that. But I can guess why you thought you needed my help with this though. You’re getting close to making your attempt, and you just don’t want to make a mistake, even doubting your usual methods. I mean really, you managed to reform a few bad ponies so far with your usual stuff, so there’s no reason to try a ‘pony’ method, as you call it. Look, me and Lyra are the best of friends because of how we connect with each other. I’d do anything to make Lyra’s day better just like she would do the same for me, and I feel you and Chrysalis have a similar friendship, a friendship that none of you want to see end. It’s only tough because of her wanting to stay evil and not being well liked by anypony, and you’re afraid of not only not being able to reform her, but also the possibility of nopony wanting her to be around anyway. Well, let me tell you something, Anon. A little after your wedding, we went trying to find Chrysalis ourselves so we could try befriending her, what do you think about that?”

...Woah… How long did Bon Bon have this speech prepared? And wait, WHAT?! “SERIOUSLY?! You guys actually went after her too?! Why?! Did you find her?!”

“Eh heh…” Bon Bon chuckled nervously “Actually, I was ready to try to stop her myself, but it was Lyra’s idea to try to talk to her and make friends with her. I was totally against it… But then she gave me those eyes and told me how much you’d appreciate it and offered dinner and… Well, I caved. We didn’t find her though, and given she didn’t seem to cause any trouble at the wedding, I’d say she’s not as much of a threat as anypony fears she might be. Certainly a relief for me, I deal more with monsters than masterminds. Anyway, I think you should do what you usually do and talk to her, while also coming up with a little extra to help convince her. Dunno what that extra is, but you’ll figure it out. Also, I suggest you let somepony know what you’re up to, just in case something goes awry. Just to let you know, I’m prepared to come get you if you screw up… So don’t screw up.”

“Well, I already got the princesses ok to do this. Like, all four of them.” You inform her.

“Really? Wow, ok then, you’re more prepared than I thought. Still, you should take some extra precaution just in case. They may call you the ’Hero Colt’, but you’re not invincible. Either way, I know you can do it.” Bon Bon says with a confident grin, making you feel more relieved with yourself.

“You really think I can do it? You’re not going to tell me it’s too dangerous to try this at all?” You ask, just to make sure.

“Look, I know if anything does go wrong, and I mean really wrong, Discord will turn her inside out. Lyra heard from Pinkie Pie that Discord is a lot more protective than he looks, so I think you’ll be alright.” She says with a nod, truly feeling everything should go ok.

Well, damn, this was quite the talk. MAN, YOU FELT ENEEERGGIIZZEED! This is gonna be no problem! Fuck, not only will that not be a problem, but Starswirl is gonna get his ass really beat now that you could focus on making sure he suffers a humiliating defeat! BWHAHAHAHA! “I think so too! Thanks, Bon Bon, I’m really glad I came to you!”

“It’s no problem, Anon, that’s what friends are for. Now, I really should get going so… If you don’t mind?” Bon Bon said as she hopped off the couch, ready to be teleported. “And don’t forget to lock the door on your way out.”

“Gotcha, let me just…” You put your horn on your head and aim at Bon Bon, making her instantly vanish in a flash of light. “Bam! And there we go! HAHA!” Oh baby, tomorrow is gonna be a REAL trip. Chrysalis is gonna reform and she might even agree to room with you again! It’ll be like having your sister ba-....Mnnnn. She really was like a big sister to you at times, wasn’t she? Hmmm, you had to make sure this would work out, so you really were gonna need that edge.

WAIT! Diamond Tiara! HAHA! Bring her along with you, of course! She wants to reform Chrysalis too, and her and Chrysalis seem to like each other enough. Brilliant, Anon, brilliant! And it’s not like Diamond will say no, she’s too into you to say that! All you gotta do is talk to her when you can and set up a ‘date’ for the morning. Man, Anon, you are on a hot streak today!

Speaking of hot streak, with that out of the way and you feeling ready to rock, it was time to find Starswirl and kick his legendary ass! Lesse, now how do you locate someone you really don’t know using the power of chaos? You put on your horn and walked outside, pondering to yourself as you locked Bon Bon’s door. And as you step out, you notice a flying pop up ad that asked if you were looking for the most legendary wizard in Equestria. “...Press yes for an instant trip to said wizard. Free trial, free flier miles, scenic skies, and fun times, a real blast. Oh hell no, I’m not that stupid. I get the pun. Fuck this, I’ll figure something else out.” You reach your hoof over to click no on the pop up, but the entire thing highlights as you press your hoof on it. Indeed, it was one of those old early 2000s ads where the pop up itself was the actual button… And you just pressed it. “Well, at least it’s not the worse thing that can happen to me today…” Was the last thing you said as you suddenly found yourself exploding upwards and onwards into the distance, actually bursting into flame as you fly outwards into the horizon. “I WAS WRONG! THIS BUUUURNNNSS LIKE FUCK!”

Your flight was long, hurled like a literal fireball across Equestria once more as you scream for dear life. You were in a spiral, unable to grasp your surroundings around you as you finally began to descend. In an instant, the clear blue skies around you becomes a deep dank dark blue as fish scatter away from you, your breath taken away as you find yourself in the depths of a lake. You didn’t even have a chance to take your breath as you start looking around frantically, trying to find out which way was up.

You were losing your consciousness as you desperately tried to find the surface of the water. Of course, you then remember all you had to do was put your horn on your head again and… Oh wait, never mind, you were suddenly covered in a white aura, an aura that started to pull you upwards while allowing you to breath. The fuck? You didn’t even get a chance to actually place your horn on your head yet, what was going on?

You start to arise from the surface of the water, coughing a little bit as you hang limp in the aura’s grasp. And then, that’s when you hear your rescuer’s voice. “Anon? Now that’s peculiar. What are you doing here? And in a lake? And why in the wide wide world of Equestria were you a fireball? It wouldn’t be due to your chaos magic, would it? You shouldn’t be casting spells you cannot handle, it’s quite dangerous.”

It was Starswirl himself, out in the middle of nowhere? In a clean open field alongside a road? And he seems concerned for you? Wut? You expected to land into some sort of lonely wizard’s tower or something. “W-what? Starswirl? Is that you?”

“It is.” Starswirl said as he gently placed you down on the ground, taking off his cape to wrap around you to keep you warm. “Now would you mind explaining your fiery entrance?”

“Ugh…” You sat down and let the warmth of his cape flow through you, that water was a little colder than you were used to, you probably flew up north as even the air felt a little more chilly than usual. “I came looking for you.”

“Looking for me? Hmmm…” Starswirl said as he pondered for a moment. “For somepony of your current power to be looking for me, I must assume some grave danger has befallen the ponies of Ponyville or Canterlot, am I correct?”

Wut? No, he wasn’t! The fuck?! Why was he so calm and not assholy? “No, you’re not.” You then looked to him with an angry expression as you pointed your hoof. This should reveal that coldness he has deep inside. “The reason I’m looking for you is because I want to fight you! I want to show the world that my powers are greater than yours!”

Starswirl was taken aback, surprised by your challenge. Then suddenly, he had a light hearted chuckle.” I see, I see. I guess you’re still angry about how I treated you upon our first meeting. In my defense, you are a very unusual anomaly. Chaos magic can only be handled by chaos beings. If anything else tries to handle the power of chaos itself without a way to resist its power, you become corrupted by it. And yet you are utterly immune to such an effect. Add to the fact that your attitude was less than pleasant, and there was a reason I thought of you as… Well, I don’t wish to use such a word anymore.”

Was… Was this real? You could remember back when Twilight had accidentally released the old six and the Pony of Shadows. Even before he met you, he was already stubborn and self centered. You intrigued him, but your foul attitude and darker musings made him think of you as an abomination. That was the word he didn’t want to use anymore. So what changed? Did he just stop being a douche when Stygian recovered? Did he truly feel so deeply responsible for it that he changed his ways without an extra push or secondary episode? “Yeah… Um… Huh. Ok, you’re kind of weirding me out. I remember you not liking me very much. Heck, the only thing we actually agreed on was how to deal with Stygian and we both ended up being wrong on that one.”

“Indeed, we had both misjudged the situation and made a terrible decision on how to proceed. Were it not for Princess Twilight’s incredible ability to see the hurt inside Stygian’s heart, well… I’m sure the guilt that would have overshadowed both of us would have been too great to handle. In fact, that is one of the reasons I have decided to go on this friendship pilgrimage. I wish to learn about that of what I had not embraced in my life of old. I want to be there for ponykind, not only to stop evil beasts, but to help them with their daily life, and even have fun with them. And I have to say, the new friends I have made along my journey so far are greater than any spell or research data I have ever come up with.” Starswirl then gave you a warm smile as he gently gave a pat to your head. “Anon, Princess Twilight has told me through her letters that you too are surrounded by such good friends. Although I am still learning myself, I feel I have sufficiently learned enough to say to you these words. Keep them close, Anon, and protect them as they would protect you. I even hope that we may become friends despite how we previously felt about each other. We don’t need to fight. In fact, why don’t you come along with me for the day? I’m sure having a little adventure together will help wash away any and all animosity we may very well have for each other.” Starswirl said, calm, cool, and wisely as he began to look to the horizon. “It won’t be boring, I can promise you that. Some of the ponies I have met have been quite exciting.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! He’s a pussy now! GODDAMMIT! There is really no goddamn point in slaughtering a soft old man! FUCK! There is no glory at all. HOLY CRAP! Starswirl has been fucking ruined! And hell goddamn no, you were not going to do anything this fuck found fun. The guy sealed himself off for a hell of a long time, he wouldn’t know what true fun is if it bit him on the ass. The guy is too old fashioned and probably thinks sitting around and reading is fun. Yep, no thanks. “Yeaaahhh, I totally would. But uh, I got important Hero Colt stuff I gotta do.”

“Hm? I see. Well, despite that being an obvious lie, I’m not going to hold you back, I’d just suggest being more truthful. I think it’d be in your best interest given you are attempting to reform the Changeling Queen.” Starswirl tells you, unphased by your lie.

… Oh god. He knows about that? Well, he knew she was your friend before hand, but it seems someone filled him in on your current dealings. “What? Huh? How do you even know about that?”

“I’m still able to receive letters, you know. Princess Twilight had written to me a long while back that she was afraid that you may attempt to reform her without much of a plan, and asked me to be on standby should something go awry.” Starswirl said. “It seems by your surprise, that you’re already in the middle of your attempt. Would you at least care to tell me about it? Perhaps I can be of assistance.”

GODDAMN YOU, TWILIGHT! OF COURSE SHE’D GO BEHIND YOUR- Wait. “Y-you want to help me? What? I thought you hated Queen Chrysalis like everypony else.”

“As I said, I’m on this friendship pilgrimage to learn all I can about it. I have learned from my own mistakes of jumping to conclusions and making decisions that should not be made. I’m aware that Queen Chrysalis is of an evil sort, but I also know of your own accomplishments you have managed in friendship. What you wish to do is of a noble cause, and I’d like to offer my assistance in some way.” Starswirl said, sounding very sincere in his words.

Holy shit, he was really serious about this whole ‘friendship pilgrimage’ thing. But it still sounded like he was a newb at it, what could he offer you besides heavy firepower? Well, since he’s being nice, you could just ask him. “Erm, what kind of assistance would you be offering?”

“Well, as you know, I still would have to defend Equestria should things go awry. But, in the case of helping you, I have two pieces of advice that I think I am qualified to give you. Though it is up to you if you wish to listen, I would hope either way that it would help you in your endeavors.” Starswirl said.

Man, part of this was just kind of creepy with how nice he was being. That whole thing with Stygian must have really gotten to him. “What are they?”

“Well, one, never falter in your path, you have a strong connection to Queen Chrysalis because you are able to bond with her so well. Use that bond to show her the ways to friendship in only a way you and her can understand. And secondly, do not let Princess Celestia hold you back.” He tells you. Sounding serious in his tone.

“Well, I kinda knew the first one but… Wait… WAIT! What do you mean by that second one? That seems really… No wait, c’mon, everypony always says Celestia knows best. Are you actually Starswirl, or are you…” You go and reach your hoof to Starswirl’s beard and give it a tug, he doesn’t react with anything more than a gentle chuckle. “Ok, what’s so funny?”

“Your disbelief. I’m sure you know that I was both Princess Luna and Princess Celestia’s teacher, I taught them many a spell and incantation. So of course I also know how both of them are, and Princess Celestia has always had an issue of either thinking herself right or thinking she knows best. You would not believe how many arguments it had caused between her and her sister. Princess Celestia is a good ruler, but just like anypony else, including myself, she is but a pony and is subject to mistakes. She may have her own idea on how to help Queen Chrysalis at a point. But it is in my opinion that such an endeavor be left up to you and you alone. Of course, in such an endeavor, I’d implore you to be very cautious as well.” Starswirl explained.

Woooooooooooooooooooooooah, well there you go, concrete evidence that Princess Celestia wasn’t as godly as she may have thought she was. Man, Starswirl became pretty based thanks to this pilgrimage. “That’s actually really helpful. Um, thanks Starswirl. Really, that helps.”

“Ha! Then it seems I am getting the hang of things so far. Oh, and I can tell you’re surprised as well. Don’t be, Princess Celestia can be a hoof-full at times. I can remember a time she would eat cake during a lesson, with her explanation as to why was that sugar gave her the energy she needed to truly pay attention. Hmph, an excuse she only got away with only a few times until I showed her that her attention wasn’t enhanced as one might think. No, replacing her slice of cake with bog trog right when she was taking a bite made sure she’d never try that in front of me again.” Starswirl said with a cocky chuckle. “Princess Luna on the other hoof was a much better listener, though the few attempts she did make to get one over me was always met with failure.”

Wew, you knew the princesses could be pranksters, but it seemed they were never able to get one over on Starswirl. And ugh, bog trog? That shit must taste terrible. Note to self, when you challenge the princesses again at a prank off, use bog trog. As for Starswirl’s advice, it still felt a little weird he’d speak ill of Celestia, but it did make sense. He wasn’t telling you not to include her, just don’t let her trample over you. “Heh, sounds like you had your hooves full.”

“Between teaching the princesses and protecting Equestria, it was very straining on the horn. But that is one of the reasons I had a team, to ease the stress of doing it alone. In any case, I really must be going. So unless you’d like to tag along…” Starswirl said, it seemed he was expecting you to follow him, but you did have to decline. You had unlimited power, you had to find a way to use it.

“Ahm, sorry, I really do have something I gotta do. But I appreciate the advice and the talk, Starswirl, It was really enlightening.” You say, putting on a cheery smile, this was really not that bad.

“Well, I’m glad to be of assistance. And I wish you luck with whatever it is you must do.” Starswirl says, nodding to you.

And with that, you both said your goodbyes. You return his cape to him, and as he began to walk to his next destination, all you could do was smile about how well things went. Heh, he was a pretty cool guy. Ah, but the battle didn’t happen like you’d hope it would. Welp, time to call Discord and let him know the whole thing was called off. “Discord, hey, you there? You still baking?”

“Oh yes!” He answered immediately “Anon, my poor colt! Are you hurt? Ohhh noo… Anon, please return immediately so I may soothe your wounds.”

“Huh? Nah, dude, I didn’t get hurt, there wasn’t even… Wait, why did you think I got hurt?” You ask. The fuck? He seemed pretty confident that you were going to win before.

“E-erm, well… Wait, were you about to say there wasn’t a battle?” Discord asked.

“Uhhh, yeah?” The fuck was going on?

“I see… Give me a moment.” And with that, you suddenly could hear Discord calling out to some unknown parties. “Alright everypony, take back your bits, there was no fight, the bet is off. Hmmm? Yes, I said there was no fight. Well, it’s not my fault there is no payout. What are you complaining about, anyway? You were the only one who bet he was going to win! You were sure to lose that bet!”

‘Only one who bet he was going to win’... WAIT! DID HE SET UP A BET ON THE FIGHT?! AND THEN BET YOU’D LOSE?! WHAT THE FUCK!? HE GOT YOU EXTRA HYPED JUST TO HELP THE FIGHT ALONG! THAT ASSHOLE! “DISCORD! I CAN STILL HEAR YOU! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THE BET IS OFF?!”

“Anon, you needn’t shout, I can hear you just fine. As for the bet, well, how could I not set up a bet with our griffon friends from the bar? They are always up for things like this. I would have set something up at the bar I’ve taken Spike and Big Mac too, but they’re only open at night.” Discord explained.

“YOU SET ME UP TO LOSE, YOU FUCK!” You yelled at him.

“Actually, you did that. Come on, you beat Starswirl? You couldn’t even beat that broken horned unicorn. What’s her name… Stormy? I think?” Discord pondered

“I HAVE UNLIMITED MAGIC! HOW COULD I POSSIBLY LOSE?!” You growled at him.

“Because you are easy to trick, and it’d only take one powerful and magical blow to -GOOD HEAVENS! ANON, BEHIND YOU! A STICK OF DYNAMITE!” Discord suddenly yelled out.

You just narrowed your eyes at… nothing as you continued to speak into your codec. “Discord, I’m not stupid. I know how that trick works. Hell, I don’t even hear the fizz of a lit fuse.”

“Ohhhh, aha! I actually had forgotten about that part, thank you for reminding me.” Discord said with a chuckle, as you suddenly hear the fizz of a fuse behind you.

Oh hell no! You were not gonna fall for this one! You quickly slap on your horn and jump with a spin to spot the dynamite. You weren’t gonna teleport away, no, you were gonna send the bomb right back at him! But, upon your turn, all there was in front of you was just a lit fuse and nothing more. A-ha? So he was just joking? Ugh, thank god. “Discord… Sheesh, you almost had me there.”

“Anon, blowing you up with dynamite is so cartoony and immature, and I have grown both as an individual and as your friend to use such a childish trick.” Discord said, his tone quite fatherly.

“Heh, I guess. Thanks, I’m really glad that you… Oh, you fuck.” When you turned back around, there was a digital time bomb with only one second left in front of you.

“Such language. I’ll have you know that programming that thing was not easy and required advanced and very adult comprehensive sk-” Discord stops the moment he hears an explosion that cuts off the transmission. “Well, how rude.”

Once again, you find yourself spiraling through the air, across Equestria at breakneck speeds. However, this time, you were prepared. You slap your horn on your head and teleport yourself back to Ponyville. Your target this time, the Rich manor. You had to make sure Diamond was actually ready and prepared for tomorrow, as in you had to talk to her about what you planned to do and hope she’d come along no problem, not like you needed to hope.

However, there was something you didn’t account on, and that was your velocity still being kept upon your warp. You find yourself slamming onto the balcony and crashing through the doors that went directly into Diamond’s room. Your face was just sliding across the ground, your body was still smoking, and man did this hurt like hell.

Finally, you come to a dead stop when you crash into a pile of plushies. Ugh, your body, it ached like fuck and it felt like your face was ran over by a truck. Your head was otherwise fine though.

“Diamond! What was that?!” Shrieked the undeniable voice of Silver Spoon.

“Oh, that just looked like Anon.” Diamond said calmly, before she started to sigh in adoration. “In fact, I bet it was him. Ooooh, only he’d come through those doors in such an amazing way just to greet me.”

“I don’t know…” Silver Spoon said as she went to investigate the pile of plushies “It totally looked like he crashed.”

“He totally wouldn’t!” Diamond barked “He’s way too amazing to crash. And even if he did, it’d be with such amazing style that nopony would even think he crashed anyway.”

“I guess…” Silver Spoon poked at the plushies, then began to slowly move them away. “Anon is pretty awesome, but I still think that was a ASFSDJFSAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Silver Spoon lets out a horrific scream, falling instantly unconscious when she catches a glimpse of your face. It seems, after removing the plushie covering your upper body, that she had caught sight of something gruesome. Your face was terribly scarred and burned, with shrapnel sticking out of spots of your face.

“Silver Spoon?! What’s wro-ANON! ANON!?” Diamond nearly fell back, screeching in fright when she too caught a glimpse of your face.

“Uggghhhh. Ohhhhh.” You groaned as you crawled out of the plush pile. Amazingly, you didn’t feel much pain, as many of the nerves on your face were burned away from the explosive flight.

“You’re not Anon! You must be some kind of evil monster that looks like him! Grrrrr, YOU’LL PAY FOR TRYING TO LOOK LIKE MY ANON AND THEN MAKING HIM LOOK UGLY! EVEN MORE FOR SCARING MY BEST FRIEND!” Diamond went from scared to frightening as she dashed backwards, grabbed a heavy looking baton with rainbow ribbons coming from the back, and rushed up to you and slammed you in the face. While not really hurting you, it did make you realize what was going on.

“Guh, wuh? Diamond? Wait! Diamond! It’s m-OOF!” However, you did feel it when she slammed the baton on your knees, knocking you down.

“You can’t fool me! What did you do with the real Anon?! Tell me or else I’ll really bring the hurt!” Diamond threatened, ready to bash you again.

“Mnngh” You moaned. That really smarts, geez! “Diamond! It is me! Stop! Please!”

“Oh yeah? Hmm?” Diamond said, narrowing her eyes at you in suspicion. “Well, if you were really Anon, then try putting on that horn! If it doesn’t work, then it means it’s as fake as you. Go ahead, because then I’ll really make you pay for pretending to be my Anon”

What was she even… Oh god, when you put your hooves to your face, you could feel it was horribly scarred and unshapely. How were you not dead?! Ugh, whatever, not hard to fix. “Hold on, I’ll do you one better.” You slap your horn on your head, and immediately spawn gloved hands with hammers and chisels. Immediately they begin to chisel at your face like rocks until you were completely healed and back to looking like your adorable self. “See? It’s me. Ugh, sorry if I scared you though. Dad was being a jerk.” No seriously, if it wasn’t for the fact that he was planning on a family meeting tonight, you’d plan a way to obliterate his ass.

“Anon?! Oh no! No no no! Don’t be sorry! I should be sorry! I hit you for no reason! Hmph!” Diamond was clearly upset, but she still looked to the fallen Silver Spoon with a snooty look and said “Silver Spoon! Why did you scare me like that? You should have known that was the real Anon.”

But Silver just laid there, unconscious. She seems to be doing that a lot lately.

You just chuckle, and look to Diamond with a smirk. “I don’t think she can hear you.”

“...Maybe… Erm…” Diamond looked back at you, still feeling shameful for what she did. “I really am sorry though. But… Well… I’ve never seen you crash-er, swoop in like that. Did your dad blow you up or something?”

“He literally blew me up. But it’s fine, see?” You give her a great big smile. “I’m pretty invincible. A silly explosion isn’t gonna get me.”

“Wow… You’re just sooooo amazing!” Diamond rushed over to you and nuzzled her head under yours. “You’re the best, Anon. Everypony else wishes they had a coltfriend like you! But um… Why would your Dad blow you up?”

“Eh, it’s just how he is sometimes. Oh!” Actually, since Silver Spoon was knocked out, now was the perfect time to tell Diamond about your plan tomorrow. “Diamond, actually, it’s super good I actually landed in your room. I got something I gotta tell you.”

“Oh? What is it? Another romantic date? Oh, are we going to play another session of Ogres and Oubliettes?” Diamond asked, curious as to what it could be, while also excited for it to be something she could never imagine.

“No… It’s actually super important. Ok? I mean, this is like a mission for the both of us, a friendship mission. Which is why I gotta ask, how do you REALLY feel about Chrysalis? Everything you said about her before, that’s how you really feel, right?” You ask, making absolutely sure that she actually liked Chrysalis before inviting her into your plan.

“Anon, are you asking me to come with you to help her? Because I’m totally ok with that…” Diamond looks left, right, then at Silver Spoon. She then moves in closer and whispers in your ear. “Because if it is that, we can’t tell my parents. They’d freak out for sure.”

Well… That was easy. “Huh, and here I thought you’d be worried about it.”

“Why would I be worried? Not only will I be with you, but Chrysalis would never hurt me. She never did before, even when she had the chance. She needs our help, Anon! And you can bet I’m not gonna back down… Erm.” She shifts her eyes back at Silver, then back at you. “But we totally gotta make sure my parents don’t find out, Silver Spoon too. I’m serious, it could be bad for both of us. They still think Chrysalis is reeeeaaallllyyy bad.”

That shouldn’t be any trouble at all. “I understand. Though, we’re kind of doing this tomorrow morning. I want to make sure we have plenty of time to talk to her without anypony getting anxious and worried that we’re out a little later than we should be. Can you do that? Be ready in the morning, I mean.”

“That’s no problem. I can just eat breakfast, work on my mane some, and pack some snacks for the trip.” Diamond said before looking to you with a confident and determined look. “You’ll see, we’re gonna be a real couple and help our sister together! Then everypony will see she isn’t a bad changeling at all! Anypony who would help us become closer as a couple is totally not a bad guy.”

Man, she really did like Chrysalis after all. Last thing you had to check is if she was willing to make the trip into the Everfree to find Chrysalis. “And you’re ok with stepping into the Everfree forest with me to find her?”

Diamond looks directly into your eyes, and nods. “Yes, because I know you’ll protect me from anything that tries to hurt us. I have no reason to be scared when I’m with-” But before she could finish her sentence, the door to her room burst open as Filthy Rich rushed into the room, his eyes near red with fury.

“Alright! Who came in here lookin’ to hurt my little little darlin’?! I swear, if you hurt e-What now? Anon? Hrn?” Filthy immediately calmed down and composed himself, straightening his tie and adjusting his suit as he let out a small cough. “Pardon me, didn’t know you were let in, son.” He then let out a gentle chuckle of embarrassment as he took a step back “Now I feel like a right fool thinkin’ somethin’ was wrong and- Wait, what’s wrong with Silver Spoon there? She’s lookin’ whiter than a sheet.”

“Oh um!” Diamond suddenly became nervous, but quickly came up with an answer for her father. “We were playing and telling scary stories. Anon told a really scary one that scared Silver Spoon… But not me, because I’m way too brave to be scared by a silly story, right, Anon?”

“Oh, um, yeah! Ha! Sorry if I caused you any trouble, Mr. Rich.” You say, feeling rather sheepish about the whole thing.

“Oh, aha, no trouble, son, just got me worried with all that yellin’ an’ all, thought ah heard my darlin' shoutin'. I would like to ask ya to cut down on them stories though, got some important big time ponies from Canterlot lookin’ to invest into Barnyard Bargains and I don’t want them thinkin’ anything is wrong.” Mr. Rich informed you before letting out another chuckle, more nervous than before

Man, he seemed kind of nervous about whatever meeting he was talking about. Maybe you could help? “What’s wrong, Mr. Rich? Is everything ok?”

“Nothing too wrong, Anon. It’s just that these Canterlot types are easier to handle with the wife. But she ain’t here and I ain’t got nothing too fancy to really wow them. Seems having your hooves dipped in all kinds of businesses just ain’t enough for em’.” Filthy explained.

“What?! How can they not be impressed?! You’re the greatest daddy ever for one, for two, you’re the owner of Barnyard Bargains, the longest running shop in Equestria! You’re also the future father of Anon, the greatest hero and most handsome colt alive! So how?! Mnnnggrrr! I should give them a piece of my mind!” Diamond growled with a stomp, angered that things were going bad for her father.

“Woah now, little darlin’, ah don’t think givin’ them any of that kind of mind is gonna help us. But don’t worry, I’m sure I can think of somethin’ to get them on board.” Filthy said as he calmed his daughter, trying to think fast on what he was going to do about his meeting.

“Mnnngh… I guess.” Diamond pouted, calm, but still not really willing to accept things as they are.

“Hmmm… Well, Mr. Rich, what exactly are they looking for?” You ask, hoping his answer could give you something to work with.

“Honestly, son, ah don’t know. Even the cider from Sweet Apple Acres ain’t doing much in swaying them.” Filthy said, hanging his head low in defeat. “Ah dunno what I’m gonna do.”

Hmm… “I mean, I could spike the cider to help sway things. I mean, that works, right?”

“Anon! That’s an amazing pl-” Diamond cheered, until she noticed her father’s scowl. “-dumb plan! You can’t just spike drinks like that. It’s erm… Not ethical!”

“H-hey! I was joking!” You lied, laughing sheepishly “What I meant to say was, uh, I could… Erm, ah!” You got it! “What is one of the rarest and most immaculate gems there is? Does anypony know?”

“Anon, I hope you ain’t talkin’ about something like radiant gems. They’re hard to handle and...” But as Filthy Rich prattled on about what he thought was a time consuming and bad idea, you suddenly remembered the whole radiant gem debacle from a long time past. Gems that shine or darken based on the one who touches it first. Very rare and extremely hard to manage. Perrrfffeeecct.

“BAM!” You slap on your horn and summon up a small bag of radiant gems “Problem solved!”

“Problem what now? Anon, what did you just summon there?” Filthy asked.

“Five radiant gems, untouched, safe in a bag. I’m sure the fact that you have some, untouched and unused, will really wow them, ahrm, ‘Canterlot Types’.” Hopefully anyway.

“Well now, that’s a game changer if ah ever saw one! Haha! Anon, son, is there anything you can’t do?” Filthy laughed hard as he picked up the bag and gave it a poke.

“Windows?” An antique joke, but hopefully it’s hilarious to old fashioned ponies like him.

“HAHA! Windows! That’s the greatest joke ah heard in awhile! Though, probably a good thing if it’s true. Don’t wanna go drivin’ window washing ponies outta business.” Filthy Rich walked up to you and gave you a gentle pat on the head. “Thank you, son, really. Ahm sure this will really help things along. Now, I gotta go. But Anon, don’t think you’ll go unrewarded for this. I’ll find something to make up for this, ah swear it.”

“Oh, you don’t need to repay me, Mr. Rich.” Heh, now it’s time to be smooth. “The love of your daughter is all I need as payment.”

“Anon…” Diamond walks up next to you and begins to nuzzle along your neck. “You’re so romantic.”

“Truly a heart of gold. Welp, you three have fun then, and thanks again, Anon.” Filthy begins to turn around, then stops to look at the fallen Silver for a second and shakes his head before leaving the room.

Diamond falls on her back, sighing in relief “That was close!”

“Yeah, geez. Almost got caught right there” You commented.

“I know, right?! Geez, Silver, you gotta be less of a pussycat.” Diamond said to her friend, who was still out like a light. “Anyway, what are you up to right now, Anon? Because if you’re not up to anything.” Diamond blushes a little as she snuggles up to your side “We can practice kissing.”

GUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Steam nearly comes out of your nose the moment she said that. “W-what?”

“You know, kissing like a couple. Mother and Daddy do it, and so do the Cakes, and every other couple. I think we should perfect our kissing so it’ll be even more magical when we really get married. That’s a good idea, isn’t it?” Diamond asked, looking at you with doting eyes.

GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH! That’s too much! ANON! DON’T DO IT! YOU’LL DO BAD THINGS! UGH, BUT YOU SOOOO WANNA DO BAD THINGS! GODDAMMIT! YOU HAVE TO DECLINE! WHYYYYY! “U-um, actually no. Because if we, erm, perfect it now… Then you know, we’ll already know what the perfect kiss is before we’re married. W-we wouldn’t want that, right? R-right?”

“OH GOSH! SOOOO TRUE! UGH!” Diamond slapped her face with her hoof, feeling stupid for her suggestion. “I don’t even know why I’d even suggest that! Soooo dumb! Thank you, Anon, we almost screwed up a very important future moment.”

“Yeah! We almost did.” AGHHH! WHYYYYYY?! “Erm, Diamond, I really should go though. Dad wants me to be ready for this thing later and I don’t wanna be late. But, uh, see you tomorrow morning?” You had to get out of here, before your libido decides to overpower your rationality.

“Of course you will! We have to help Chrysalis!” Diamond said with a nod as she looked over to Silver Spoon. “Probably good you leave now anyway, I don’t want Silver Spoon freaking out just because you're in my room. Sheesh, she can be such a baby sometimes.”

“R-right… But uh, before I go” You do sneak in a quick kiss on the cheek before you go, which causes the usual reaction of her practically melting on the spot.

You then make your leave, teleporting straight back to your room. You still had half a day before you had to go, but what else could you really do? Today was just not too good a day to waggle your unlimited power around.

Hmmm, and tomorrow you had a big day. Chrysalis, don’t you worry, you’ll see how great it is to be good soon enough.

You now had to waste a few more hours, that’s all. But what were you going to do now? You sighed to yourself as your eyes trailed across your room, up until your gaze stopped upon the blinds of your window. “Hmmm…” You wonder to yourself, where did the X-Captain disappear to? You walk over to the blinds and open them up. Still, there was nothing beyond the window. You slowly place your hoof on the window, and think to yourself. You had unlimited power, and the X-Captain was reckless as fuck at this point. You should be able to safely search for him and see if he’s ok. Ugh, you wanted to see if he was ok, were you that weirded out that he wasn’t at the window for so long? Yeesh… Well, you could always slice him to little bits if he suddenly tries to attack you. Blowing him up may not work, but a giant cleaver to the eye sure would.

You take a deep breath and open the window. The first thing you do however is put on your horn and throw out a lifeless clone of yourself as bait, just in case he was waiting for this. Nope, it just floats off into the distance. Welp, with that, you climb through the window and enter the zero gravity ridiculousness that is the chaos realm. You start investigating close to the house, looking for any signs for the X-Captain. Some blast marks, pieces of floating carapace, and some droplets of salty water just floating about… But no X-Captain. But these had to be clues as to where he went. You summon up a dog nose onto yourself which WAS GOHTFDG OH GOD, BAD IDEA! EVERYTHING SMELLS FUCKING TERRIBLE!

You rip off the dog nose, which seems to get a life of its own and starts sniffing at the clues. Well, that’s convenient. The nose then starts to hop left and right, trying to get your attention. You just roll your eyes and say “...I’m not doing that bit.”

The nose suddenly let out a whimper and starts to flatten, it looked fucking miserable all of a sudden. Ugh… The things you do just to get things done. “What is it, boy?” You sigh, annoyed “Did you find the X-Captain? Did you? You did?! Come on, boy, show me where he is!” You said as you clapped your hooves together.

The nose jumped up and danced around a bit before flying off into the distance, towards a small planetoid with a single island on it… That was somehow not in flames despite the planetoid’s ocean being fucking lava. The nose itself was just dashing towards the island without fear, and hell, as you followed along, you noticed the area felt more cool than hot. Thus is the oddity of this chaotic realm.

The nose lands, with you after, on the small island. The island itself could be seen as a nice little getaway, despite the lava sea. It had a few palm trees with… Oranges. And er, salt for sand. Hmmm, and the grass was waving despite no wind. Well, at least the grass wasn't literal blades. “O-k, why are we here? I don’t see a flying mass of ball anywhere and… Huh?” The nose was stretching itself to form an arrow, pointing forward towards the beach before puffing up and disappearing into the air. “Want me to go to the beach, huh? Ugh… Better be ready to blast shit just in case.” You tap at your horn a little bit then begin your walk forward. It takes a little while, but you finally reach the beach. Hmm, the lava gave things an eerie glow, but it just felt like a cool day otherwise. “Hello? Anypony here?” You call out as you step forward, looking around for any signs of life.

“Mnnnmmmmm.” You hear a long sigh over you all of a sudden, prompting you to look up. And what you see… Was, what? It was a changeling, a normal changeling, hanging from the branch of a palm tree. He was just hanging there, looking depressed. No way… It couldn’t be, could it?

“Hey! You up there! Who are you?!” You yelled out to the depressed changeling.

The changeling just slowly looks down at you, then forward once again as he lets out a sigh. “Great, he’s here. My one chance to destroy him, and I don’t even feel like it. I don’t feel like anything… I’m so worthless.”

Oh… Ok? Well, given those words, that was fucking him. But what happened? He looked normal. “X-Captain, is that you?”

“That’s not even my name anymore. It’s Ex-Captain… Or is it Ex-X-Captain? I don’t know anymore, just let me waste away.” He groaned.

Ok, that was one hundred percent him. But god, what happened?! “Hey! What happened to you? How did you change back to normal?”

“What does it matter? I went from a beach ball back to my worthless normal form. Your marefriend was right, I was screaming for nothing. I’m no king, I’m a bug, a useless bug. I can’t even get past a stupid window.” He said in a whine.

He was really depressed. Wait, holy shit, did really Diamond do this to him?! Wooooah, you did not see that coming. Now what do you do? You hated the guy, but it was also fun to insult him. But now, he was back to his normal self and was looking pretty suicidal. Hell, he could attack you right now and he just didn’t seem to care. “Uhm… I mean, ok? So what? Are you done now? I mean…” He just looked down at you, with a broken frown and shattered soul. Oh god, he looked fucking pathetic. “Er…” No seriously, what do you do about this? Do you talk to him? Is this a reformation chance? Like fuck, he looked so depressed. “You wanna come down so we can talk at all?”

“...Ok, I guess.” He sighed and began to roll over, suddenly turning into a giant rock as he came down next to you. He then turned back, and sighed as he laid there. “... Missed, couldn’t even crush you when you were standing still. Just end it, please, I should have disappeared when the queen blew me up the first time.”

Geez, were you really starting to feel bad for him? “I mean, I dunno… Maybe? Look, really, what’s up with you? You look horrible.”

“I feel horrible. My dreams of conquest, destroying you and the queen, mutating my siblings to form a deadly army… All for nothing. I can’t even get through a window, or crush you, or win… At all. I can’t even end myself. I tried diving into the lava, but I just got spat out onto this beach. Fitting, even the lava hates me, and I don’t even think it’s sentient.” He says in a somber tone.

Oof, this guy basically gave up on life. Was he really, REALLY, so focused on domination that he- Never mind, why do you ask yourself such a stupid question? “I… Look man. I… Ok, I didn’t see this coming at all, and I mean…” God, you really had no idea what to say to him. “So, what, are you just seriously done?”

“With everything? Sure… I’m alone, nopony wants me, nopony wants me to lead their armies. I miss the queen. She took care of us, she never really let us down. We were just having a rough streak… Now she hates me, my siblings hate me, you hate me. Erm, well actually, I hate you still too.” The Ex-Captain sighs and nuzzles his face in the salt “But I just don’t feel like anything anymore.”

Fucking god, now you were depressed. Fucking changelings, goddammit! This really was the reason Chrysalis was the queen of all of them, because every single one of them were pretty much morons or tooty fruities without her. “Ok, look. I can’t leave you like this. I can bring you back to the house, get the orb set up for you. I dunno, if you promise not to try anything I could maybe help you get reformed and stuff so you can rejoin your siblings. How does that sound?”

The Ex-Captain looked up at you, a shimmer of hope slowly going into his eyes. “You’d really help me? Even after I wanted to destroy you?”

“Yeah… Yeah…” You sigh, god you were dumb. “It’s sorta the pony way and all that.”

“O-ok, I can do that, I think. I mean, you’re not trying to trick me or anything, right? You’re not just gonna destroy me first chance you get?” He asks, slowly standing up to join you.

“Nah, it’s cool. The basement is free and as long as you promise not to touch your old queen’s car, everything should be good.” Ok, so far so good, he really seems normal so far.

“Ok. I can handle that, I’m used to not touching any of my former queen’s things. And maybe this won’t be so bad, maybe Thorax will make me captain when I go back to the hive.” The Ex-Captain stated, hope slowly returning to him.

“Yeah, sure, why not?” Please, please don’t let this be a mistake. Huh, this was easy. Well, at least changelings were also easy to convince. Well, everyone of them except Chrysalis herself.

“Yes! I like that possibility. Then yes, absolutely, I shall rejoin you with no urge to have you destroyed. Ahh…” The Ex-Captain sighs in relief “I feel good now. Especially since that hideous lump of a moron is gone.”

“Yeah, he was…” You stop as your eyes go wide… OH NO! WHERE DID THE STORM KING GO?! “Woah, woah! Wait! WAIT! I just realized the Storm King isn’t on you! W-where is he?! Where did he go?!”

The Ex-Captain shrugged “I don’t know. I changed back to normal when I went back in the lava aASFSDDAS” Suddenly, a black and red lightning blast slams into the Ex-Captain, sending him backwards, skidding across the salt.

…Oh shit.

“Finally! Was waiting on my cue but you two were just taking forever. HYA!” Suddenly, lava bursts from the shore ahead as a winged demon flies out of it and lands a few feet in front of you. “Heya, Kid, good to see ya! Gonna be good to rip you to shreds too. But first, let me make my grand reintroduction.” Still covered in lava, the figure stands up high and bursts his wings out, causing the lava around him to fly away in globs. Oh god, it was the Storm King alright. He was still in demon form, but somewhat larger than before, his teeth sharpened like knives. His fur was now patched, with some of the X-Captain’s skin making up parts of his body. His demonic arm was now heftier as well, and covered in tiny tentacles. The gem from the staff, now just pieces of red glowing shards, crackled with a black red hue. “Say hello to the Storm Ravager! Third iteration of my glorious self, and even bigger and badder than ever before! Gotta tell ya, kid, I’m really looking in getting me some of that old fashioned revenge.” The Storm King, or rather, Ravager cackled as he brought his fist to his demonic palm.

Ohhhhhhhh good, things just got real.

“How?! How did you manage to separate from the X-Captain?!” And how the fuck did he get that body?!

The Storm Ravager just shrugs with a smirk on his face “Honestly? I don’t know about that either, but just like last time, it’s made me new and improved!” He says as he hops and flexes. “Oh yeah! I’m unstoppable this time!” He then turns to you and waggles his finger “That’s not to say I’m not unlovable. Totally am, even if I have to shove it down everyone's throats. But hey, let’s not waste time on the small details.” He then points to you and then down to the ground “Time to go down, Kid. I’m going to bury you right here, no funeral, no casket, but definitely an afterparty.”

There’s no way, no fucking way. Well, you had to accept it, because he found a way, and you had no help to fight him this time. But wait, why did you need help? The only reason you lost the first time was because Twilight wanted you to seal him up, a spell he somehow saw and stopped easily. This time, all you had to do was overpower him. Sure he looked bigger and badder, but there’s no way that arm is as powerful as the staff when it had the princesses magic in it. “You’re right, there will be. Should have just stayed where you were, Drizzle Lips, because I’m not going to show you any mercy this time. You’re going down!”

“Am I? HAHAHA!” The Storm Ravager cackled as he slapped his knee “Oh no! He actually believes what he’s spouting! That’s too much!” The Storm Ravager stands proud as he puts his hands to his hips, resting his head on his right shoulder “It’s too adorable! But newsflash, Kid, you’re a sham! You’re no ‘Hero Colt’, You’re not even a great one!”

“What are you talking about?” You ask him, confused as to what he meant.

“What do you mean?! Sheesh, Kid, sheesh! You didn’t beat me! You never did! This kid, you just can’t make this stuff up!” The Storm Ravager starts laughing, using his hand to keep steady before looking back at you with a smirk. “Time for a refresher course, so listen up! The first time we fought, I literally dropped the roof on you, then tossed you around like a rag doll. Then I used you as actual bait to lure in those brainless ponies. And then, credit where credit is due, you hurt my palm… And that’s it! I was about to crush you like a melon before Tempest just showed up out of nowhere. Oh, and don’t worry about her, I plan to make her a permanent addition to my future garden. Trust me, it’ll look great!”

This fucking DOUCHEBAG. Fine, so you didn’t beat him, that wasn’t what was important right now. What was important was that you stop him here and now, you just had to! “God, just shut the fuck up already. Fine, I get it, I didn’t actually beat you. You could have said it in two sentences.”

“C’mon, I gotta sell it, y’know? Being a terrifying dictator requires this kind of charisma that you’ll just never understand. And besid- Hm? Ahhhh” The Storm Ravager bares his teeth in an evil smirk as he scratches his cheek with his hand. “Oh boy, you ACTUALLY think you stand a chance! That is more than adorable! Kid, I’m invincible now! You should just roll over and let me end it quick for you. But fine, I’m game.” He says with a shrug. “That horn of yours fully charged?”

You narrow your eyes at him as you slap the horn on your head. “You bet.”

“Ok then, let’s make a deal that you really can’t refuse. I’ll give you your two shots to beat me, since that’s all you got. If you beat me? Well, I’ll certainly be surprised. If you don’t? Well, how are you supposed to defend yourself from this baby?” The Storm Ravager holds up his mutated claw, and let’s it sparkle in horrible electric energy.

Two? You had more than… OHHH SHIT! HE DIDN’T FUCKING REALIZE YOU HAD MORE THAN TWO CHARGES?! HAHA! HE REALLY DIDN’T! Ok, well, the odds just shot up through the roof for you. But why should you resort to that? You could end him in one blow with this powerful attack. “As if I’d refuse a deal like that. You’re on, just don’t go crying when I turn you to sludge.”

“Oh, I’m counting on it.” The Storm Ravager beckons you with a claw, awaiting your attack. “Show me what you got.”

“Alright then, your funeral.” Ok, first shot had to be a game changer. Wait, so why not start with a game ender? You hop backwards as your mane changes into a blue color, spiking upwards as your eyes become a darker blue themselves. “YOU FOOL! THIS IS YOUR END!” You begin to crackle in powerful electrical force as a spirit version of you appears out of nowhere and slams into you, causing your voice to double as your determined look became more fierce. “FINALLLLL” Your horn started to charge up some blue energy ball as a powerful blue aura appeared around you. “KAM-E” You start floating in mid air as your attack intensifies “HA-!”

The Storm Ravager just yawns, getting bored of waiting for your attack. “While we’re young? C’mon, I got a world to terrorize here.”

Oh, he wasn’t gonna be anything after this. “-MEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAA!” With almighty Saiyan power, you release a gigantic blue beam, encircled by a yellow spiral of death, towards the Storm Ravager. It was so large in size and dense in power that he actually gasped and jumped back, but was unable to dodge it. Did you manage it?!

You kept the beam going as long as you are able, but it seemed power of this magnitude was actually taking a toll on your body. But you did it, right?

But then your eyes go wide as you look ahead. The beam was mushrooming at the end, as if there was something in the way of it, breaking its flow. There was no way, WAS HE BLOCKING IT?! Your beam finally ends after another moment, the recoil of the end of the blast knocking you backwards as your second self goes out of your body and into the air, out of sight. You quickly roll over and stand as you yourself change back to normal, and try to look through the kicked up dust cloud your beam had caused.

“Wow! That was awesome! My arm is stinging, Kid! It actually hurts!” The Storm Ravager calls out jovially as he makes a mighty gust with a flap of his wings, blowing the dust away. He was ok?! Shit, the only damage you seemed to do to him was to his mutant arm. It was slightly burnt, parts of his claws looked barely chipped away, and only two tendrils seemed to stop moving. He blocked that entire blast with that hand and it barely did fucking anything! “...But even the audience knew that wasn’t gonna do anything. Ha! Good try though, that would have done it if you had used that against me the first time. Buuuuuut you can’t expect anything out of idiots, can you?” The Storm Ravager has a bit of a laugh about it before beckoning at you again. “Ok, short stuff, time for another round.”

You had more than another in you, but you had to make this work before he actually started to fight. What else could you use against him? OH RIGHT! SPINNING BUZZSAWS OF DOOM! If you couldn’t blast the fucker, then you’d slice him up. It’s not like he could dodge EVERY buzzsaw you planned to throw at him. “Fine then, TAKE THIS!” You launch a flurry of buzzsaws at him, all spiraling and screwballing towards him.

The Storm Ravager was using his chaotic eye to eye the paths of each buzzsaw. Once he had every trajectory, he used his newfound speed to dash towards each point they would be coming from and caught them all in his mutant arm before crushing them to nothingness. “Kid, your strats are as dull as those blades. And hey hey, they’re as dull as your horn too, right? That’s all she wrote. But hey, don’t worry, I’ll make sure they’ll make an action figure out of you. As in they’ll actually use pieces of you to make the thing.” The Storm Ravager positions himself for a dash, eyeing you directly. “But time’s a wastin’ and I really want to see the looks on all those ponies faces when I step up to rule em all… Or whatever is left after I do some remodeling. HAHA! HERE I COME!” And he finally blasts off towards you.

Shit! He was fast, but you didn’t need to dodge or get out of the way. You wait a half moment, then quickly summon a giant hammer to smash him straight into the ground in front of you. And fuck, it worked! When you lifted the hammer, he was half buried in the ground and looking rather dazed and surprised. “HA! Looks like I smashed your plan to bits!”

“Wha? Ugh, huh? WHAT?!” The Storm Ravager looked up at you, surprised and stupefied at the predicament he found himself in. “You still have magic?!”

“Fuck yes! How does it feel to be bamboozled? Hmmmmm?” You said smugly, looking at him with a wicked smile. “You never really stood a chance. Dad gave me a whole three days of unlimited magic. Lucky you, eh?”

“Grrrr” The Storm Ravager growled as he tried to loosen his arms. “I’m not losing to you, Kid! You think you got me fooled?! I’m gonna smash you to bits, I SWEAR!”

“Huh, you don’t really talk the talk when you’re losing, do ya?” You shrug, and prepare the hammer once again. “Oh well, get ready for a real pounding, HAHAHA! Get it? Because I’m gonna keep smashing you until you stop moving. HERE WE GO!” You immediately start smashing the hammer into him, over and over and over and over again in quick succession. You were smirking almost evilly as it went on, up until you finally felt he was smashed to a pulp. You then banish the hammer and look upon the spot it was smashing. Nothing was there, huh, did you crush him into the dirt? “Oops, over did it.”

“Not exactly.” You hear a voice. You look around, but see nothing, at least not around you. From under you, you are grabbed by the Storm Ravager’s mutant hand as he launches up from beneath the ground. “HA! Gotcha!” The Storm Ravager calls out as he lands back onto the ground and starts squeezing you with his hand as if you were some sort of chew toy. “Kid! You got RUSED! What, did you think you were the only one who could pull a fast one? Come on, just, come on! I’ve dealt with rats more crafty than you.” He then starts to look you over, laughing at you. “Time for a real SHOCKER, as in, I’m about to light up your life until it blows a fuse. See what I did there? You saw that… Right? Wait…” The Storm Ravager narrows his eyes at you, noticing you were glowing a chaotic power of your own. As in, your entire body was made of magic, almost as if it was… “Wait… You’re not…”

Indeed, the ‘you’ he had in his grasp was the clone you used to perform the fusion needed for Final Kamehameha. The Storm King look dumbfounded, looking at his palm in frustration as he realized he somehow got duped. He crushes the clone, and then starts to look around for you. “Now that’s just dumb! Seriously, that just makes the game more tedious. Now, where did you go? Kid, OOHHH KIIIIDDD, WHHHERE ARE YOOOOUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” As The Storm Ravager began calling out for you, he turned around only to see a train coming right towards and into him, a massive mighty train bearing your face. He was slammed into rather hard as he held on to the front, screaming along as the train chugged forward.

“CHOO CHOO, MOTHERFUCKER, CHOO FUCKING CHOO!” You laugh as you pull on the rope that sounded the train whistle. You were dressed as a cute little conductor, driving your huge fucking train. You looked out the window and towards the front of the train and saw the Storm Ravager doing his best to climb up onto the smoke stack. “Heyyyyyyy buddy! Enjoying the ride?”

The Storm Ravager couldn’t even get his wings to properly open at this speed, he just clinged for dear life as he began to aim his arm towards you. “I’m gonna obliterate you, Kid! It’s the end of the line for you!”

“Couldn’t agree more!” You wave goodbye to him and jump off the train.

“Wha?... Oh no, he used a pun, didn’t he?” The Storm Ravager looks back slowly and sees a gigantic brick wall set not too far ahead. “Oh… Yeah, he did.” The Storm Ravager braces himself as the Train smashes into the wall and explodes.

“Woooo, and that ends that. A rattataa ratattaaaaa woo woo, yeah!” You start to sing to yourself and hop about victoriously as the explosion carries on. However, caught up in your silly little dance, you fail to notice the Storm Ravager falling down above you.

Indeed, he locked eyes on you as he began to fall from a perilous height. His body was charred, his wings broken, and his rage heightened as he held his arm out to grab you upon impact. “GYAAAAH!” He screams out as he finally makes contact, smashing you to the ground as he manages to land without issue. “HOW DARE YOU! I’M NOT MESSING AROUND ANYMORE! THAT’S IT! I’M GONNA BREAK YOU!” He growls as he lifts you up in the air, and begins to shock you with his power.

Fuck, this hurts! You were screaming in pain as he sent electrical shocks into you, doing his best to end you as quickly as possible. That is… Until an idea popped into his head.

“No… Nah, after what you did to me, after what you and Tempest took away?” The Storm Ravager stops his electrical torture and just grips onto you as he begins to slowly and evilly snicker, enjoying your now limp body as a sign of victory. “Yeah, no, ending you now wouldn’t be good for me, now would it? Oh no no no no, you made me the butt of all jokes after all, I can’t just let this end without a good punchline. Do you know what I mean, Kid?” The Storm Ravager held you up higher, waiting for you to answer.

“N-ngh…” Instead, you try to activate your magic. But the moment he even sensed you powering up, he gripped you hard enough to nearly crush your bones.

“Nah, nope, I don’t think so. You’re done now, Anon… That’s right, I think you deserve to hear your own name once before it all ends, and even that won’t be for awhile. See, I got a plan now. I’m gonna turn Tempest, and your marefriend, and your other little friends, Your dad, and that sweet little yellow pony aunt of yours into stone. And then? I’m gonna shatter em’, one by one. I’m gonna make you watch, Anon, and then it’ll be your turn. What do you think about that? Hm?”

Did he mean it? Ngh, you felt so broken, you could barely move. Your thoughts began to swim in hopelessness. How could you make such a mistake?

Your mind suddenly rushed to visions of losing your friends, your marefriend… Fluttershy...

If you lost… He’d just kill them?

He’d kill them in front of you?

Your mind then began to race with the horrible feeling of failure. The disgusting feeling of loss. The fear of disappointing those you loved. The hopelessness of the situation. The rage caused by his threat. The need to protect your friends and family. The hatred you had for those who’d do you harm.

The chaos deep inside.

“YOU FUCCCCKKKEERRRR!” You suddenly burst with a heavy wave of magical energy that causes the Storm Ravager to lose his grip and fly back. Trees began to soar and the lava began to generate waves outward. You could feel it, that pure animosity you had for such a threat, for such a being. You could feel the unlimited chaotic power of the horn flowing through you, synchronizing with your feelings.

And those feelings were of full rage

The Storm Ravager fell on his stomach with a grunt. He wasn’t expecting that at all, and when he shook his head and looked up, he could see you right in front of him, staring at you with pure resentment. But there was also something else, he could see it, a powerful aura around you, an uncontrolled flow of magic. “K-Kid?! W-what are you doing?! WHAT ARE YOU?!” That aura, it filled him with instant and utter dread, as he knew right then and there it was a power he had never seen before.

“I’m the son of chaos, motherfucker. And you chose the wrong day, oh boy, you really did.” You told him, looking down at him like the worm he was.

The Storm Ravager began to stand up, quickly aiming his arm at you to blast you once more. “I’m not going to...WHA?!” The Storm Ravager doesn’t even get a chance to blast you as the ground around you begins to rise up to the sky, with you looking down at the Storm Ravager with an evil sneer as you go ever higher. “What is he up to now?!”

When you finally reach the sky of the planetoid, you snicker to yourself as you turn around. Your gaze comes upon a pipe organ manifesting itself in front of you. You sit down on the seat in front of it as a black cape appears around you. “And thus we are at the eve of the end of this little game…” You close your eyes, and with just your hooves, you somehow start to play the song ‘Fugue and Toccata’.

“What is he doin-WOAH! WHA! HEY!” As the demonic music began to fill the air, the planetoid began to shake as giant pipes of an organ began to erupt from the ground, nearly stabbing or smashing through the Storm Ravager as he began to dodge around it. “WHAT IS THIS?!”

You just continue to focus on your playing, laughing maniacally as a gigantic portal opens behind you. Your mane began to flow back as the clouds began to slowly circle around you and your organ. “...Everything will be done, and undone.” You say silently to yourself. And the moment you do, pianos, airplanes, trains, cars, buildings, phone booths, hockey sticks, street signs, fake puke, newspapers, televisions, cruise ships… EVERYTHING just began to shoot out of the portal and just hurl itself randomly forward.

“This kid! WHAT IN THE! GAH! WHAT IS GOING ON?! AGH!” The Storm Ravager was trying to fly, he was jumping, dodging, and barely grazing through the barrage of objects being hurled at him. And as you continued to play, the cavalcade of ridiculousness just continued to be hurtled forward. Eventually, even the Storm Ravager could barely keep up and finally started taking hits before being buried under some building debris.

But as you came to the softer part of the music, you looked behind yourself to see if the deed was done. But somehow, the Storm Ravager was slowly and weakly digging himself out. And when he did, he looked upon you once more, and recoiled at what he saw. You were looking down at him with yellowed eyes and flaring red pupils, teeth as sharp as daggers. Seeing he was alright, you refocused your efforts on your playing as the music began to pick up again. “But not everything was thrown at the demon. No, everything was thrown but one minor object… The most important object.” And upon finishing those words, a giant moon sized portal opened upwards, facing down towards the planetoid.

The Storm Ravager was stepping back in fear now, he didn’t know what was going on now, but with the size of the portal and with his wings out of commission, even he knew he couldn’t dodge what was coming. Especially as everything was blackened by an ever encompassing shadow. “Mommy… I’m serious… Help.”

“HAHAHAHAHAHA! HERE IT COMES!” You scream in mad laughter as you continue your playing, the portal turning red as a moon sized kitchen sink began to fall through the portal. It was coming in fast, bursting into flame like a meteor, as it neared the surface of the planetoid. Indeed, you had hit the Storm Ravager with everything… But the kitchen sink.

With only seconds left, the Storm Ravager began to look for something to defend himself with. He then happens upon something, and gives out a weak and pathetic little laugh. “Ha… This will do it, this will totally do it.” He pulls out an umbrella, opens it up, and ducks his head under it as he quivers in fear.

Finally, with the end of the song, the sink makes contact with the planetoid, obliterating it completely as it continues to travel through the endless chaotic realm like an asteroid. Even more, the Storm Ravager was nowhere in sight.

The sink had passed through you and your organ, magically of course. And upon your victory, you stand up silently and look back as you bow to the nonexistent audience before you. You let out an evil little chuckle as you then look forward, your eyes still flaring yellow and red. “And thus ends everything, truly he was no...Ngh!”

Suddenly, your stomach growls, causing you to lose your focus as you return to normal instantly. “Shit! I’m hungry, I’m gonna miss dinner!”

You began to doggie paddle back to the house. In your thoughts, you had began to wonder what had happened to you during the fight. Those feelings, that wanting to win at any cost, that absolute focus, and that exhilarating feeling. You had only felt this once, and that was when you were fighting Garble. You could swear there was even some physical changes to you when you felt such a feeling, but you couldn’t be sure. Essentially, whatever you felt, it gave you an incredible focus to want to not just beat your opponent, but utterly destroy the opposition in the most grandiose way you can think of at the time.

But then, it all went away after it was all over with. The Storm Ravager, he was gone now, you actually fucking ended him with a kitchen sink the size of the fucking moon. Did it kill him? Did it ma-OH SHIT! The X-Captain! D-did you kill him too? You know the Storm Ravager knocked his ass out, but where did he go? And why did you care so much? Bah, the guy wanted you dead for so long, him having a change of heart now shouldn’t affect you. But it did, it really kinda did, the poor moron was outside your window for so long that it just sort of became his life. Now he had a chance to fix all of it, and now he’s dead.

You sigh as you near your window. “Anon, geez, come on man. What was all that? It’s not like I lost control of myself, it just… Felt so good dropping a sink on the guy, felt so right. I needed to win! I’d be dead if I lost! Ugh, I shouldn’t care. He shouldn’t have been there even, it was his… Ugh, I can’t believe I… Huh? Wait, the window is stuck.” You brought your hooves down on it, kicked it, tried to raise it, but nothing was working.

“Having trouble?” Said a voice. The Ex-X-Captain, or XX-Captain as you’ll think of him now, slowly raised his head as he snickered, staring at you in absolute evil glee. “I locked it, so now you can’t get in. I WIN! HAHAHAHAHA!” He raised his hooves as he laughed maniacally. “NOW TO TAKE OVER EQUESTRIA! What do you have to say to that! Hm?”

You take back any soft and caring thoughts about this assfuck. “What do I think?” You ask as you calmly narrow your eyes at him. “I think you better open that window, or else.”

His grin becomes even smugger as he brings his face closer to the window “Or else what?”

“I can teleport, jackass. I’ll teleport right in there, force you to be Twilight Sparkle, and then I’ll rape you. Ok? I’ll rape you until I get all my pent up sexual frustration out of my mind and body. Do you hear me? I’ll make you be a mare of my choice every night until I get sick of sex. And there will be no safety words once I get to shoving shit up your ass just to get over how pissed off you made me. So again, open the DAMN window, or else.” You tell him, narrowing your eyes as you stare at him with a scaringly authoritative expression.

“Meep!” Squeaked the XX-Captain. With wide eyes, and the only movement coming from his legs, he unlocks the window and slowly opens it. He then steps backwards as you slip inside.

“Well, what are you staring at? You remember where the basement is! Go on! Get!” You swat your right hoof at him, making him fly up, smash his head on the wall, then scamper down through the floor door. “Fucking christ, might as well be a dad already with the kind of shit I gotta deal with. Geez…” You sigh, and do your best to calm yourself. “C’mon, Anon, you got a dinner to get to. Ok… Don’t worry about the Storm Ravager, he’s dead, he deserves it. He… Totally does, guy was irredeemable. Hell, had you and Discord not done anything when he shattered to pieces, he’d be long dead before anyway, no skin off your nose. Right? Yeah… Ok… Just be cute for Fluttershy, she’ll like that.” You take another breath and look towards the window, using your horn to don a cute little bowtie as magical brushes work their magic on your mane. “I look ok…” You rub your tongue along your teeth while focusing on the mirror, they felt fine. “Ok, good. Ok…” Once your spell was finished, you took another breath, and smiled towards the mirror. “Yeah, it wasn’t anything. Just a really chaotic spell… That somehow had a really close effect to that postal spell you cast against Garble… Ok. Ok… Don’t stress.” You take one last breath and make a pose. “Yeah, l-lookin’ good.”

It was nothing, you did a good thing. The Storm King overstayed his welcome and royally fucked up by trying to take you on while you had unlimited charges. And whatever effect the magic had on you was gone now, and probably wasn’t even related, it was most likely just an addition to the spell. Anyway, you try to remove all these thoughts in your head as you use the portal door to appear in front of Fluttershy’s cottage. The sun was already down, you wasted a lot of time looking for that ingrate of a changeling. He too didn’t really deserve any mercy, but he really was too much of a doofus to really be a threat at this point.

When you reach the door, you take another breath and knock. You then wait. Either Discord or Fluttershy would get the door, and then all you had to do was lay on the ole’ Anon charm.

Of course, you also forgot about the other little resident of Fluttershy’s cottage. The door opened as Angel slipped through the crack, dressed in a waiter’s outfit, as he looked up at you with a cranky expression. He had a little pen and clipboard with him. Hoo boy, this must be Discord’s doing. HA! He was like, the valet or whatever. “Hey Angel.” You say with a big grin, knowing exactly what this trope is. “Don’t worry, I’m on the list.”

Angel grumbled, little noises escaping his mouth as he rolled his eyes. He then took a breath and started ‘talking’ to you, pointing past the doorway which seemed to lead into a… Very nice banquet hall. Wew, Discord, going all out, eh?

“Yeah, yeah. Alright, step aside, the guest of honor is coming thro-om?” When you go to proudly step forward, Angel steps in front of you and holds out his paw, gripping it as he points to it with his other. The guy wanted a tip, a tip in carrots. “You serious?”

He just stares at you harder, pressing on his paw as he awaited his carroty goodness, he then began to make indiscernible chatter.

“What do you mean we have to be nicer to each other?! We have our truces, but you’re still a big jerk!” You remind him. However, he just points back at you, making more rabbity noises out of his mouth. “What?! I am not! Remember, this all started because you treated me like a jerk from the get go! It’s not as if…” But he interrupts you again, and stares at you very hard as he makes his ears look like Fluttershy’s mane, then makes it look like yours as he made googly eyes. “That… Is not… Ok, fine, so maybe that was a good reason to be suspicious of me, but that was a long time ago! I have a marefriend now and…” But he interrupts you again with even more of his chatter. “... Ahm, erm, yeah… I do sometimes think of other… Ugh, I know where this is going. Fiiinneeee, you’re lucky I have unlimited magic right now.” You roll your eyes as place your horn on your head, using your magic to make a giant carrot appear behind you, about the size of you. “This good?”

Angel nearly fell over at the sight of it. To him, it was colossal. He hopped over to it and began to just snuggle on it as if it was his lover.

“We square? Can I go in without a problem?” You ask him as you await his reply. He looks to you, and gives you a quick nod before returning to his nuzzle cuddles. “Ok, good.” Sheesh, this guy. You still had to be careful around him, simply due to the fact Fluttershy loves him too much and he definitely uses it to his advantage.

You step inside. And man, what an interior! The ceiling was… Well, ok, it was a tad much with there being a painting of Discord reaching out with a single talon towards Fluttershy, who was laying there in a cloth as she reached her hoof out towards him. The walls were all gold, with spiraling pillars. The windows were large and glamorous, with red curtains for each. The patrons? Bah, all Discord clones in different attire, both male and female. It made you feel a tad uncomfortable considering what happened at the wedding, but at the same time, you shouldn’t expect anything to happen since they're all of Discord’s chaotic will. Up on stage was a band of Discords and… Woah, is that Octavia? Holy shit, it was. And man, that mane, that cute little bowtie, that grace. You had to just get a little closer and…

“Ooooh, Anon. Over here, son! Unless you think I’m the beautiful mare with the cello.” Called out Discord, who was waving you down from a nearby table, Fluttershy sitting by him with just her normal attire of nothing.

“Ahrm… That wasn't it, I was just enjoying the music since I couldn’t find you guys.” You say with a nervous chuckle as you hobble on over to the table. “Heya Dad, Aunt Fluttershy. Uh, great to see you two. Um, what’s with this whole thing?” You ask as you wave your hoof about before taking a seat.

“Oh, your father felt very festive all of a sudden.” Fluttershy said with a soft giggle “I told him it was a little too much for just being my first day.”

“Yes, it might even be, but who cares? The point of this is to celebrate as a family.” Discord said as he leaned back in his seat. “And the fact we hadn’t all been in the same room for quite some time.”

Wut? “We were all at the wedding. The fake wedding for me, remember?”

“That doesn’t count. You were mostly elsewhere, either getting ready for said wedding or getting ready for your doom. I wouldn’t really-” But Fluttershy cuts him off as she nervously tries to put his words in a more positive light.

“U-um, what your father MEANS to say is that it was more for you and Diamond Tiara. This dinner, well, I’d like to think of it as something for all of us. I don’t really think it should have anything to do with my first day as a professor. Really, it should just be us having a nice dinner and enjoying our company, right Discord?” Fluttershy asks as she looks at him with a gentle smile.

“Well, yes, I did say it had something to do with that. Ahrm, but I suppose that should be the main thing as well. Anyway, don’t worry about ordering, Anon, we already have food coming to the table.” Discord says as he sits back up, taking a gentle breath and doing his best to hold back his arrogant tendencies.

“I thought you were making- Never mind, I guess everypony here is basically you. Which, uh…” You look back at Octavia, then back to Discord. “Makes me wonder, is she a clone too?”

“No, that’s actually who you think it is.” Discord replied.

Wut? “Really? How did you get her to come here and play? Like, did you, y’know, do your mind thing?”

“No, I didn’t” Discord replied again.

“Then how? How did you get her to play?” You ask, in wonderment on how he managed such a feat without his mind altering magic.

Discord shrugged “How else? I paid her”

You nearly fell forward on that one. And given he wasn’t looking too cocky about it… “Oh…” What a surprising but anti-climatic answer, so much so that you somehow felt embarrassed by it. “I-I guess that makes sense.”

“Oh, your father was very generous, Anon. He not only gave her double the bits she usually asks for, but he also renewed the strings on her cello too! I feel like he secretly must have taken Rarity’s class today.” Fluttershy said with a gentle giggle.

Discord held back a huff as he said under his breath. “It was the only way she’d even agree at all. Not my fault my cello player broke his arm.”

Even more ‘wut?!’ “Uhhhhh, you mean your clone? How is that even possible?”

“Easy. During practice, I suggested he try putting a dictionary I toyed with back in its proper order. The mad-stallion actually did it! Can you believe it? His arm literally fell off into an unreturnable void!” Discord groaned as he rolled his eyes “Really, how could I know he’d actually dare such a dangerous feat!”

But… He was the one who dared him, and he… Wait, so he made a clone that would listen to such a orderly command? Like, as in something that would risk their lives? And now he’s annoyed because the clone, the clone he probably made that would specifically do such a thing in the first place, blew up its arm? When he was the one who caused it? Ugh, your brain was starting to melt. “O-ok then. Erm, Sooooo…” You tapped your hooves on the table nervously, then looked to Fluttershy “How did the first day of teaching go? I can’t really imagine how a kindness class would go so I really wanna know how it went.”

“Oh, Anon, it went amazingly well.” Fluttershy said with a satisfied giggle “So well, in fact, that I can’t wait for you to start attending my class too! All the cute little animals really helped put many of the students’ minds at ease. Now, I haven’t started on anything too difficult, today’s class was just an introduction to the element of kindness, so all I really asked of everycreature was to treat the animals nicely and give them a few treats. It went so well I almost cried, everycreature was getting along with the animals and with each other.” Fluttershy was beside herself in joy, up until something seemed to stop her train of thought. “...Although, there was something that really irked me.”

“What, was it a student not being kind?” Discord asked, suddenly being a little defensive. “Because I can fix that.”

“Oh no no no, it’s not that at all.” Fluttershy said with a hint of franticness in her tone, not wanting Discord to do anything violent or mean. “ You see, Anon already made a few friends from the school before they even started attending. And while Ocellus, our changeling student, makes sense. We have another named Smolder that also knows him. They became friends after Anon helped her smash a gem boulder.”

“Um…” Yep, that was the ‘official’ reason you became friends with her. But why did it bother Fluttershy so much? “Yeah, that’s how it happened. Why, is there something wrong with that?”

“Well, no, it made me glad you’re already making more friends. It’s just…” Fluttershy looked at you with an expression of worry. “Why were you in the Dragon Lands? Anon, you didn’t go looking for that meanie dragon that attacked you, did you? I had heard from Twilight that it was already dealt with.”

GYAH! THE GUILT! You never actually thought you’d need a reason to be there. Ogh, and telling her you were on a spy mission for pedo Dracula pone was probably not the best idea either. Oh man, Anon, are you really gonna lie to her? You were really doing good at not lying… “I was just…” You hang your head low, and look up at her slowly to see her reaction. “Y-yes, I just felt really angry that he could destroy an entire place and not pay for it. But I guess I also had a real chip on my shoulder about dragons too… But Smolder, and even Princess Ember? Yeah, they kinda showed me dragons aren’t all bad.” Smooth, Anon, smooth.

“Oh! So you learned a friendship lesson then? That’s really great!” Fluttershy smiled, she was absolutely beaming at the thought of you making friends and a disaster not happening. “I’m so glad everything worked out for the better. Smolder seems really nice, she already seems like a good friend. Oh, actually, that reminds me. Anon, when you start attending classes, do you think you can keep the whole ‘Hero Colt’ thing, um, as not a big thing?”

Hm? “Sure, I-I can do that. But why?”

“You have some fans, that’s all. And let’s just say one is reeeaaaalllllyyy into it. When she found out I was your aunt, she kinda… Um, well. It seems you’re just really well known in Mount Aris and Seaquestria. And, um, I’d just appreciate you not making it too big a thing. I-It's nothing against you, no, I’m really proud of you for it. It’s just, I’d rather there not be a fuss, that’s all. D-do you understand what I’m saying?” Fluttershy was starting to become a little meek over it. She really was proud of you, but it seems she really didn’t want you flaunting it or your status in general. She didn't want it causing a disruption in school. She also didn’t want to sound insulting to you.

You just smile at her, and salute. You understood what she was getting at. “No problemo, Aunt Fluttershy. I can keep things cool. Oh!” There was something you had to ask. Your mind was already thinking about this Silverstream. If she was half as cute as Princess Skystar then, woo, things were gonna be grand. But this yak, this yak who wanted to challenge you, surely she had to have said something to Fluttershy. “So, I hear the classmates are all really diverse. Are there any yaks? Specifically any that know about me? Ok, I know you said not to flaunt it and all. I just wanna know what I’m dealing with, that’s all.”

“Well, there’s Yona. She really wants to meet you, but she wouldn’t tell me why. Oh well, I’m sure she’ll be happy just the same for the chance to be in the same class as you. But again, as Anon, and not the ‘Hero Colt’.” Fluttershy reminds you, despite her already have said something about it a moment ago.

“I know, I know. You can trust me.” You tell her.

“I know I can. Oh, so how was both your days?” Fluttershy asked, as politely and adorably as she normally would.

“Finally, a chance to speak. Well, my day has been going very well. Had this place set up” Discord says as he slowly pans his arm around the room. “Dinner should be arriving any minute, and of course, it’s all due to the fact that I am ultimately just amazing. You’re very lucky to have a friend like me, Fluttershy. This, I assure you.”

“Oh, I know. But that doesn’t really tell me about your day, Discord.” Fluttershy said with a giggle, finding his mannerisms humorous. “I want to know what your day has been like. Oh, did you and Anon do anything fun together? I’d love to hear about that if you both did!”

“I… No, I spent most of the day baking a cake, which we’ll be feasting on soon. Um, hmmm…” Discord began to rub his chin as he realized he hadn’t done anything too chaotic today. “I really haven’t done anything fun today.” Discord began to frown, sinking into his chair. “Now I feel foolish, how could I throw this dinner without any dinner conversation? I must look really dumb right now…” Discord then slowly looks over to you “... Which is why I think we should talk about Anon’s recent victory over the Storm King.”

“Hm? Recent, but that was a long ti-” Fluttershy’s eyes went wide, as did yours. HE KNEW?! HE WASN’T EVEN THERE, HE ISN’T THAT OMNISCIENT!. “Discord… Please tell me you’re joking, a-a-and not telling me that he just sprang up out of nowhere… Or worse, you brought him back.”

You just sat there, stunned, eye twitching. This fucking madman, what was he up to now?!

“Not really brought him back, but more kept as a pet. Then one thing led to another, came back as a gigantic… Thing. And then Anon, being the hero colt he is, actually factually defeated the Storm King proper this time. Sure, he needed a dose of my essence to get him to finish the job, which kind of takes away from it a little. But I must say, the kitchen sink? Mmmm.” Discord kisses each of his talons individually in congratulations to you “Delicious play, if I do say so myself.”

“DISCORD!” Both you and Fluttershy yell out, before Fluttershy looks over to you and says “ANON!”

Ohhh damn! Fluttershy looked, well she wasn’t pissed, just upset. “Gyaooh, erm. Haha, c’moooon, it’s not as bad as he makes it sound. I mean, I’m here, I’m alive, I’m not hurt. I really walloped him and stuff. So, y’know, no reason to be mad.”

“I’m more upset at hearing that he was basically kept as a pet when he’s really REALLY dangerous! Ooooh! I’m very very upset now! Why would you even do that?!” Fluttershy asked, utterly upset at how such a thing could be allowed.

“O-ok, to be fair!...” You look over to Discord, and immediately point at him “It was his idea too! Dad said it’d be funny!”

“What can I say?” Discord shrugs with a grin “It is, it was, and now it’s over. Fluttershy, I only even mention this because, as you can see, both Anon and myself are even more responsible than you realize. Yes, I think we both deserve praise for the proper handling and disposal of one of Equestria’s most dangerous villains.”

Fluttershy just becomes silent, and raises a single eyebrow at Discord. “Discord, he was already handled. Why would you do that? Why would you BOTH do that?”

Discord was beginning to regret his ill-timed piece of conversation as you just slam your face on the table. He just looked at her, and tried to explain his reasoning. “Well, I thought it’d be fun. Then it got boring, then I stopped caring, and then other things happened, and eventually Anon proved that with a bit of help, he could overcome a powerful enemy. What more is there to understand?”

You just slowly raise your head with a groan. “Because it was reckless, dangerous, and put my life in danger. Ugh, and for me, it was dumb, reckless again, and showed some dishonesty that’d I’d not mention it at all. That’s right, isn’t it?”

Fluttershy nods. “It is, and it’s why I’m disappointed in the both of you. Just because you won doesn’t mean I’d be happy about it. Just like there’d be no way I’d be happy with that big meanie still being around to hurt you, or anypony really. I’m sorry, but I’m just not happy with the both of you right now.”

“Fluttershy, don’t you think you’re overreacting? Relax, it’s a family dinner! Maybe you’re just hungry. Don’t worry, the food will be here soon and…” But Fluttershy cuts him off, speaking up with as authoritative voice as she could muster.

“No! I don’t think I’m overreacting, and I’m not going to just let this go just because everything looks very fancy and nice! Discord, we need to talk. I will not let this slide, and as Anon’s aunt, I need to have this talk with you so you understand WHY it’s wrong, and then you can explain it to Anon. You can’t, as a father, just do what you want just because it’s ‘funny’! You have responsibilities towards Anon, and you just haven’t been as responsible as I think you could be!”

“Oh… Hrn, well, things are starting to make a little more sense now as to why you’re upset. Erm, can we at least do this after dinner?” Discord asked with a sheepish smile.

“Give Anon a doggie bag, a non-literal and healthy doggie bag, and send him home. After we talk, I expect you to talk to him in the morning. We need to talk about not only your role as a father, but also about things you shouldn’t and REALLY shouldn’t be doing. I know you’re better than this, Discord, but I just can’t overlook this. Do you understand me?” Fluttershy looked up at him, still looking serious, but she was clearly feeling hurt in herself for being so stern.

“A-aunt Fluttershy… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset. We just, we just… Erm.” God, what do you say to her to try to diffuse the situation? ”Look, I know this looks bad, but me and Dad are chaotic in nature. Things happen, and we just kind of do things because normal things just aren't for us sometimes, you know that. I admit, the Storm King thing was probably a thing that was a little too far. But you heard Dad, it was handled. If anything, it felt like chaos training to me, I wasn’t in any real danger.” Ok, that last part was totally not true. It also looked like you had your answer to that weird feeling. Discord’s essence? You really needed to ask about that when you got the chance. “And even if I was, Dad knew, and had my back the entire time. I get it, what we both did was dangerous and stupid, and we allowed the possibility for the Storm King to come back. I promise, I won’t let it happen again, I’ll make sure of it. Please… Don’t send me home, you’ve been gone for awhile, I just want to spend the night with you and Dad… Please?” You just look at her with big sad eyes, hoping to appeal to her softer nature.

Fluttershy sighs, calming down, but still heavily disappointed. “Anon, what you and your father did was manipulate somecreature’s life for your own enjoyment. It’s wrong, no matter how bad they are, it’s just wrong. I can’t just look this over like that.” She looks down, feeling just a little guilt over how she herself was acting.

“You can. At least for him.” Discord says, looking away, sounding somber

“What? Discord?” Fluttershy looks to him, confused. “What do you mean?”

Suddenly, everything goes dark as a spotlight hits Discord. He slowly stands and then begins to make his way to the stage. “I mean what I said. The truth of the matter is Anon didn’t have a choice when it came to the Storm King. Ahrm…” Discord looks over to Octavia and the discordian band. “Appropriate music for the moment, if you please.” And with that, Octavia, somewhat confused, still nods and begins to lead the band to a more depressing melody. “Anyway, yes, Anon is not to blame.” Discord looks over to Fluttershy with tears in his eyes. “How could you expect me not to exact some sort of revenge? To know I wasn’t there to defend you or Anon, to know that he hurt him so, to even know that he tried to destroy you simply for getting in his way. Fluttershy, my dearest friend, I care about you both so much. This Storm King, to me, deserved the most humiliating punishment I could muster, and so I convinced my son to help me carry it out. I made sure Anon would agree and that he would be the one to humiliate him every step of the way simply because I hated him for what he did. So, please, if you are to blame anypony, blame me.”

Woah, did Discord say all that? Wait, some of that was a lie, you both came up with that punishment together. Hell, you were humiliating him just because it was funny, just like you had been doing to the X-Captain. So, was Discord just taking the blame just because? Or was it something else.

Either way, it actually seemed like Fluttershy didn’t buy it. “Discord…” She lets out a heavy sigh “I know a lot of that isn’t true.”

Discord recoiled as the lights suddenly came back on. He began to nervously twitch his talons and paws together as he sheepishly retorted “Well, more like some. I really did feel the Storm King needed a punishment, and I do care about you both very much. And that anger I mentioned, oh that was very real.”

“I know…” Fluttershy looked up for a moment, then gave a hopeful smile towards him. “And I think I understand how you feel, how you both feel. It’s still wrong though, but I guess I… Well…” Fluttershy began to feel nervous as she tapped her hooves together shyly. “I really didn’t like him at all, like, really really didn’t like him. But it’s still the wrong thing to do. I want you both to promise me you’ll never do it again… Or at least tell me if you are so I can tell you not to do it.”

The way she worded that… “I promise… But does that mean we’re still having dinner together?”

Fluttershy nods with a smile.

“Then I double on that promise! Alright, Everypony, continue as normal!” Discord disappears from the stage and instantly reappears on his chair.

“Discord, I mean it, please keep that promise.” Fluttershy said, being rather serious about her words.

“I promise, Fluttershy, I truly do.“ Discord says, as a third paw appears over his forehead to wipe some sweat. It seems he realized his own stupid mistake with that one, and was relieved that he managed to reel things back in before everything was ruined completely. After wiping his forehead clean, Discord then looked to you, looking serious himself. “As for you, Anon, I bet you’re wondering EXACTLY how that essence thing works. Well, that will be for tomorrow.”

“Oh…” Fluttershy realizes that there was a fight that was mentioned, and that you won. “Wait! So what happened to the Storm King?”

“Well, he kind of tried to end me to get to Equestria and take over again. But I dropped a giant kitchen sink on him. I actually don’t know what happened to him after that, I think he’s gone…” Wait, don’t say it that way, that could upset her “Erm, somewhere in the chaos dimension.”

“Oh” Fluttershy just responds, as in, that was all she said for a moment before looking left and right and whispering. “Well… Erm, that’s probably a good thing. Um! But, um! Like I said, don’t let it happen again! Ok?” Fluttershy said with a gulp, realizing she may have encouraged the opposite of what she wanted for you altogether.

“I know, I got it Aunt Fluttershy.” You say with a sunny smile, letting her know everything was ok.

Discord stretches his head up to see his clone bringing in a large set of plates with various foods and such. “Ah, and look at that, dinner has arrived.”

“...So he actually lets me in, right? For me to pretty much give him this kingdom I don’t own. Like, Flim believed it more than Flam, but Flam still not only let me in for contract negotiations, but he even got me snacks on demand as if I was actually a prince!” You said with a cackle, taking a bite of your carrot dog.

Indeed, dinner was a full spread in front of all of you. There was the butter pound cake, carrot dogs, Some sort of cheese fondue, hayburgers, apple cider, soda, water. It wasn’t as fancy as the place Discord created, but maybe that was the point.

“Well, he believed you were.” Discord said with a snicker “It still boggles the mind that they could be so easily tricked after getting so far with their plan. But then I forget, but not really, that chaotic thinking can achieve anything.”

“Well, I’d like to think it’s because Anon looks like a prince. At least I think so.” Fluttershy said with a cheerful smile “Just look at how cute he is, Discord. I’d even say he’s… Chaotically cute?” Fluttershy says, hoping her joke would be received positively.

“Chaotically cute? Hah! Fluttershy, I didn’t take you as that much of a jokester.” Discord says with applause. “So good, I think I’ll use that as reference to Anon’s look.”

God, that wasn’t even much of a joke. What a suck up. Ah well, it was still cute coming from Fluttershy, so you at least let out a small chuckle before continuing your story. “Heh, well, I am super good looking after all. But wait, hold on, I didn’t even get to the best part yet. Ok, so, he leaves the room for a minute, right? So I’m like ‘I’m gonna take a poop’, and I did! And the bestest best part? He actually let it slide because I told him ‘our kingdom’ does it all the time! HAHA! Oh man, it was awesome. the face he made was priceless”

Fluttershy immediately gasped upon hearing that, bringing her hooves to her mouth. But oddly enough, she didn’t say anything or look shocked. Instead, she was shaking, with little sounds escaping her lips. You were about to ask her if she was ok. Hell, you now expected her to suddenly not be ok with you doing that despite the alternate Flim Flam brothers being foal slaving douchebags. But that wasn’t it, because after a while more, Fluttershy burst into laughter.

You hadn’t even noticed that Discord had a talon out, pointing at you. “Well, looks like I won’t be using soap.” Discord then smiled, and began to rest his head on his hand as he took a bite of his glass of cider. “Find something amusing, Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy, realizing she was giggling, let out a quick and embarrassed ‘Eep” as she covered her mouth again with her hooves. Then, when she noticed the both of you waiting for an answer from her, she slowly lowered her hooves, still letting out a tiny titter, and then took a deep breath before looking at you and saying. “Erm… Don’t you think that was a little too much?”

You lean forward and look to her with a smirk “I dunno, Aunt Fluttershy, would have it been as funny if I didn’t do that?”

Fluttershy twitched with a tiny tiny little giggle, and then let out a content sigh. “No, I guess not. Oh my, I shouldn’t find something like that so funny. But considering what those brothers did to those foals, Equestria, and Princess Celestia… Well… Erm. Ahrm, well, I suppose they get doody for being doody heads.”

Discord let out a small snicker at that as he took a slice of cake. “Well, it was only one of them at that time. Although they both did get it later when our dear bug friend decided to shove them into a portable toilet and throw them down the side of a mountain.”

Fluttershy cringed at that one “Ohhhwwwweee, that’s… Oh.”

Hm? “You don’t feel sorry for them, do you, Aunt Fluttershy?”

“Oh, no, I guess not. It’s just, well, that’s very unclean. And, um, a little much considering we’re eating dinner.” Fluttershy said, stifling yet another giggle, but avoiding calling any attention to it.

“Unclean? Well, yes, it is unclean. However, I think it was both quite funny and fitting.” Discord let out a laugh as he said that. “Really, when you think about it, Canterlot would be doomed if a giant toilet attacked. The upper crust citizens would spontaneously combust at the sight of it!” Discord started laughing at that. Hell, that was actually a good fucking joke that it made you start giggling too.

“Oh, well…” Fluttershy shifts her eyes left and right, then with a tiny giggle says “If Rarity is anything to go by, that might just happen. Hehe! All this talk of chaotic things makes me want to admit that maybe, erm, I also did something that is, I think, pretty chaotic.”

Discord immediately lit up, quite literally, with interest “You did?! Tell us!” Discord turned child-like with a little helicopter cap and scootched his seat right next to yours, looking to Fluttershy with fascination as he put his head on his paw and talons. “Teeeeeeeeeeeellllllll us!”

Did she? Well goddamn, you had to hear this. “Yeah, Aunt Fluttershy, tell us! You can’t just say that and not, you know?”

“I know, I know, I wasn’t planning on not telling it. Well…” Fluttershy took a moment, and then cleared her throat. “A long time back, when I was a foal, I actually took a cookie from the cookie jar without asking! And then when my father asked about it, I blamed it on Zephyr… And then I immediately felt bad and said I did it. I hate to say it, but I almost got away with it, and would have been happy too since Zephyr was being… Well, you know. But I couldn’t do that to him when he didn’t do anything really wrong, so I took my punishment with pride.” Fluttershy then giggled once again “Although, in the end, I still got the cookie.”

Wut? Well, why are you surprised? That is pretty ‘Fluttershy’ of her. Plus Zephyr was an asshole, you had only met him once before and god, the fact he actually tried to take the horn from you in trade of a haircut was ridiculous, especially when he tried to cut your mane while you were asleep to justify said trade. He got better after apparently Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash helped him, but still, ‘Uncle’ Zephyr is an ass. “Heh… ha, erm, I suppose that’s what counts.”

“Bravo, Fluttershy, Bravo.” Discord said with a clap as he changed back to normal “Much better than the time you turned into a vampony or spooked your friends, simply because of the deviousness sprinkled in on that attempt of blaming your brother.”

“Oh, well, I don’t like to think of it as something worth applauding. I just thought it was funny I got the cookie. The punishment was a little harsh though, I had to spend the day in my room instead of being able to go out and play with my then new animal friends. Though, not being able to spend time with them did make me feel very awful too.” Fluttershy said with a mood killing sigh. "I guess maybe it taught me not to do anything like that again."

“Ah come on, Aunt Fluttershy, that was the past, nothing to worry about an-” You stop right there when you realized something Discord said was actually damned interesting. “Wait, you spooked your friends? As in, scared them? When?!”

“Oh, that was the Nightmare Night where you solved the case of that mean ‘Sharpclaw’ thief. Which, now when I think about it, is kind of a weird alias for a griffon when they use their talons, not claws.” Fluttershy said as she pondered on the thought.

“Sounds like an oversight to me. But hm, Anon, she never told you the story?” Discord asked, wondering about that.

“No, and I’m really interested! Can you tell it to me, Aunt Fluttershy?” You ask, in genuine interest. How the fuck did she manage to scare the other five?

“Well, I’m not really proud of it too much, but it was all in good fun. So yes, I’ll explain it…” And so she did. From spooking them in some sort of maze, to getting the help of her animal friends, right down to dressing up as the very vampony she had become. Goddamn, you didn’t know she had it in her.

And with that, a genuine chuckle burst from your mouth. “Aunt Fluttershy, that’s awesome! Especially considering you managed to scare all of them! Twilight especially, she can be pretty brave when she wants to be.”

“Well, she kind of wasn’t that time.” Fluttershy said with a small giggle. “But it’s something I just can’t see doing again. I know what it’s like to be scared, it’s not fun.”

To you, that depended. Being scared in a nicer setting or with friends can be fun. But when it’s for your life, or when danger actually looms. Yeah, that’s when it’s not fun anymore. You understood all that, and conveyed that to Fluttershy, who did agree with you, even if she wanted to avoid scaring anyone altogether. Still, damn, you wished you got to see her do it, it sounded rad.

And so, the rest of dinner went about like this. Friendly chats, jokes, Discord being jovial about the things he does. Eventually, as dinner drew to a close, Discord had one last thing to do before he packed it all up. He took a glass of cider and raised it up high, catching the attention of all the other patrons. “Excuse me, everypony, excuse me. May I have your attention?” But alas, the other clones just continued to mingle. Discord started to turn red in anger, and finally let out “I SAID EXCUSE ME! I’M TRYING TO BE POLITE FOR FLUTTERSHY. BUT SO HELP ME, I’LL THROW ANON AT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU UNLESS YOU SHUT IT RIGHT NOW!”

And with that, everyone one in the room shut up. Though you, however, took a moment to realize what his words actually entailed. But before you could raise an objection, Discord continued to speak.

“Thank you” Discord said as he cleared his throat. “Before we close tonight’s dinner extravaganza, I’d like to make a toast. Not only to me, since I already know how great I am. And trust me, I do know that, I say it all the time, after all. But I digress, this also extends to Fluttershy and Anon. To Fluttershy, I say, without her, I’d still be with my stone heart… And still be made of stone. Indeed, Fluttershy helped me become the draconequus I am today, and I wouldn't change it for the world… Or this world anyway. And then there is Anon, my dear chaotic son, whom I whisked away from the horrid life of humanity, he is the one who I can count on most when it comes to chaos and chaotic back up. Me and him, we’re two of a kind, even if I’m of a better suit. But to be quite serious, Anon has proven his worth tenfold, and even if I was to have a draconequus son, I doubt he’d be half the little chaos maker Anon is. So again, a toast to us, for family!”

“Oh Discord…” Fluttershy said in a low tearful voice before raising her glass. “For family!”

Damn man, why’d he have to go and say it like that. Heh, he really is, and always will be, a great guy. “For family!”

And with that, you all clang your glasses, and take a drink.

The dinner carried on as normal after that. Small discussions and the like, how prepared you are for Twilight’s school, shit like that. But your mind was truly focused for tomorrow morning, it was going to be something that you just had to make sure would not go wrong at any point, which could be made especially difficult since Diamond is coming along. A needed asset to be sure, but one that is also volatile.

Fluttershy had noticed your eyes trailing off and you being rather silent. She worried something might be wrong, or that perhaps you were even hurt from your fight with the Storm Ravager. But you just let her know that you were tired. You were, but it really was just the fact that your thoughts kept wandering. You could tell her what you planned to do tomorrow, she already knew about you wanting to meet with Chrysalis. But you held off, you couldn’t tell her you were going to meet her very soon at the risk she suddenly feels that it’d be too risky. Even if she was reasonable about it, she’d most likely ask Discord to tag along, something you wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t for the fact that you KNEW he might actually be protective himself should Chrysalis get aggressive, or just be an ass to her and ruin your chances. No, you’ll do just fine handling it on your own. Discord has always, at most times, handled things very well with you, like a team. But Chrysalis was something else, something that required the connection you both had to each other to truly work.

Fluttershy, believing your words, hops off her seat to give you a gentle head pat and a kiss on the forehead, just as she always does, and suggests you turn in early for the night, also mentioning that she was going to stay here and discuss a few things with Discord about how Twilight’s school works and what will probably be expected of him. To you, that just meant she was probably going to tell him not to cause trouble, or too much trouble anyway.

You say your goodnights, waving to them both as you use your horn to whisk yourself off to your room. You take a quick look around at first to make sure the XX-Captain was around. He wasn’t, good, seems he learns better than Scrappy ever did. You walk over to your alarm and set it to about eight, early enough to get in and then come out without anyone being the wiser. Hell, after you succeed in your meeting with Chrysalis, you could scope out this ‘Silverstream’ and ‘Yona’ and find out exactly what they thought of you from their perspective.

And with that, you head off to sleep.

The night passes, a new day arises. Your alarm goes off, filling your room with its usual noisy outburst as you open your eyes, yawn, and stretch. You slowly get up and shut your alarm off, it was fucking time. IT WAS TIME, BABY, YEAH!

You look upon your saddlebag and wonder if you even needed it at this point. You still had unlimited magic, but that was only if you could get your horn on your head. The map could still be useful, especially since Chrysalis still shows up on it. You could use it to find her exact location within the forest. Alright then, saddle bag it is. You put it around you and open your portal door to Ponyville. You step through to appear by the fountain once more, with the sun shining towards a beautiful morning.

Ok, so first, you pick up Diamond and teleport to the entrance of the Everfree. But before that, you should enchant your map to give you a way point towards Chrysalis. Since she should still be traceable on it, it shouldn’t be that hard to track her. You could just teleport straight to her, but without knowing if she’d want to be found or if anything from the Everfree could interfere with your trajectory, it could be risky. Hell, everything can just blow up in your face again too. Chaos was fickle, and always required something unexpected or ridiculous for it to work properly beyond basic teleporting and such.

And with that, after enchanting said map, you teleport straight to the front gate of Diamond’s mansion. You just look upon it for a moment, thinking again if this was a good idea. It should be fine, you have the power, so what could go wrong? Yeah, no, it should be fine. Once Chrysalis knows how much you all care for her, she should come around.

“Pssst, Anon, ppssst!” Said a low voice from the bushes.

“Wha? Huh?” You look around for the noise, and notice a few bushes from the side of the gate shaking ever so subtly. “Hello?” You approach slowly, and notice a small figure, like a filly.

Diamond’s face, covered by some sort of cowl, was looking directly at you. She looked upset, with her muzzle scrunched up. “Anon! What are you doing?!” She whispered rather intensely.

Wut? “Uhhh, coming to pick you up? I should be asking what you’re doing hiding in those bushes. And why are you wearing a hood?”

“Why aren’t you? Ugh, Anon, we are very important ponies! There might be a scandal if other ponies see us walking to the Everfree together. Paparazzi are like piranhas, totally hungry for a scoop.” Diamond said as she looked left and right to see if anyone was on the road. There wasn't.

Wuuuut? “I mean, I get that, but what exactly is the scandal? Applebloom goes to Zecora’s all the time and nopony bothers her about it.”

Diamond goes wide eyed for a moment, blinking silently before going. “Oh…”

“Yeeeah, and anyway. I’m just gonna teleport us to the entrance of the forest and track down Chrysalis with my map.” You pull it out again to show her. “So nopony can really follow us anyway.”

“Well, erm, I guess that works. But why don’t we just teleport directly to her then?” Diamond asks.

“Teleporting with chaos magic is kinda quirky. It usually works, but I think it works for me a little differently. Basically, things gotta line up just right for something bad not to happen. Like, when I tried to find something beyond what I usually know, I ended up blasting off. Haha… Wasn’t fun.” It really wasn’t, it taught you that your ability for long distance travel can have a few snags.

“Blasting off?” Diamond popped out of the bushes and gave you a good look around, circling you to see if there were any injuries. “You mean like when you landed in my room?” She then looks to your face, then smiles. “Because as far as I know, even that can’t stop you, you’re just that amazing.”

D’awww. Though the room thing was fucking Discord's fault. “I know. But for your safety, we should just go to the forest entrance and work our way in. Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from anything that might try to attack us.”

Diamond blushed and lowered her cowl. She moved a bit closer to you, and booped your nose with hers. “You’re so amazing, you know that?”

You blush just a bit as you return her affections with your own, giving her little nose a kiss. “I know, I’m super amazing actually, because I have the best marefriend ever.” oof, cheesy, but it works.

Diamond nearly hopped as she heard that. She then, still blushing, walked ahead and pointed forward “Then we’re an amazing team, as we should be! And that means we have a sister to save! Right, Anon?”

You nod, she wasn’t wrong. “Right, let’s do this!” You call out, and using your horn, you teleport yourself and Diamond to the entrance of the Everfree Forest. A foreboding kind of entrance with a single trail you’ll most likely be veering off of if your map showed Chrysalis as being very far in. You peer past the dense trees that will no doubt become more ominous as you venture forth. “Ok, Diamond, we have to go in there to find Chrysalis.” You ready your map, and prepare to step forward. “So stick close to me, alright?”

Diamond threw off her cowl, standing bravely at your side as she pointed forward towards the forest. “Don’t worry, Anon, I’m not some scared little foal who needs protecting. I am your future wife! And I will stand by your side as we find our friend!... Erm…” She then looks to you, a little confused. “Who is totally that way, right? The forest is pretty big, so are you sure it’s this way?”

You hold up the map confidently as you start to walk into the forest. “It sure is, all we have to do is get to this dot here and we’ll be home free. It looks pretty deep in, but the map shows us every wall, nook, and cranny in the area. We have no chance of getting lost.”

Diamond giggled as she began to walk along with you, looking at you with admiration. “Oh, I sometimes forget just how good at being you are with your tools.”

“I know” You say with a grin , focusing on the map while taking a look forward every now and again. You had to focus really, because that line. Hehe, just avoid the obvious double entendre “Hm, I don’t think I can really remember having to venture too far into the forest. Other than a few lessons I took under Twilight awhile back… Which nearly ended up killing me.”

“The chimera, right? I still don’t get that. What was a chimera even doing there anyway?” Diamond asked, wondering about it.

“No idea, but sometimes I get this itch to find it again and show it my true power, so to speak.” Mostly just the goat, it almost seemed like his ‘siblings’ were just tagalongs at that point, with him being the douchy mastermind behind it all. How you'd love to trounce that asshole after what he did to you.

Also, true power. Ugh, you should have asked Discord about the whole ‘essence’ thing, got to remember to do that.

“Well, if you do run into him again, then you should. Anypony who’d even try to hurt you deserves to be punished! He was lucky I wasn’t around. If I was, I’d have called on Randolph to beat him down. He knows a ton of pony martial arts, you know?” Diamond said, looking rather snooty as she raised her head high.

“Isn’t Randolph, like, really old? I’m surprised he’s still working for you all.” You commented. You remembered the old butler pony. He seemed pretty spry, but god he looked ancient.

“Randolph? Yeah, he’s happy working for us. I can always count on him for anything if I ask for it, and that includes beating down chimeras. Of course, now that I’m your future wife, I have been doing some personal training in secret to get better at fighting too.” Diamond said, looking to you with a sly smile “In fact, I think I’ll be as good as you really soon.”

Wut? Ha! “You’ve been training in secret? What happened to not keeping secrets then?”

“Well, erm, I’ve been keeping this one before we made that deal. But since we’re in a dangerous forest, I thought now would be a good time to let you know I’ve been doing it.” Diamond said, her voice a little shaky from being called out. She was just a child, after all, it was going to be hard at her age to keep that kind of promise. Hell, it’s still hard for you to keep that promise.

Diamond looks around as the forest began to become ever denser and more mysterious. She noticed an old and fallen log and broke off from you to rush towards it. “In fact, let me show you just how much I learned.” She stops at the log, and turns to you as she points at it. “See this log?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

“Well, watch and be amazed, Anon, as I totally chop it in two!” Diamond stepped back, and wiggled her cute little butt as she prepped her right hind leg. Then, with a shrieking yell, she brings her hoof down on it and stomps through it rather than cutting it in half. The log was evidently old and already crumbling, so it was no surprise that she was able to break right through it. “There, see? Slammed right through it!”

You smirk at her as you let out a small chuckle. “I thought you were gonna chop it in two?”

Diamond suddenly puffed up some as she looked at you with discontent, she then turned her head away as she let out a ‘Hmph’. “Well, that isn’t what I said. Besides, you should be impressed that I’m that good. How would you like it if I laughed at you like that.” While Diamond was looking away, she suddenly hears a growl. Hearing this, she looks back at you with angrier eyes. “Hey! What are you getting mad about? You’re the one insulting my skills!”

Uhhh… “Diamond, what are you talking about? I didn’t think your skills were that bad.”

“Not that bad?!” Diamond felt really insulted. “I slammed right through that thing! You should be-” But she’s stopped again when she hears growling closer to her ears, causing them to flinch. She looks to you and sees you aren’t even moving your mouth. “A-Anon?”

You had caught the growl that time too. A monster? Wasting no time, you call out to Diamond to get behind you. Unfortunately, she was frozen with fear as glowing green eyes began to appear from behind the log. Goddammit, were those Timberwolves?! Shit, you haven’t run into those guys yet. You rush over to Diamond and push her to the side right when one of the Timberwolves, five in total, pounces over the log to take down its prey. You don’t get pinned, but you get sent sliding back a couple feet as some of the Timberwolves’ attention returns to Diamond. The one who hit you slowly coming towards you with a low growl.

“ANON! HELP!” Diamond screams out as the Timberwolves drew near.

Goddammit, stupid shits. You weren’t hit too bad, but you noticed a small set of claw marks on your side as it slowly began to bleed. Little shits, how dare they! “Oh, you bastards, you messed with the wrong colt today.” You hop back up and slam your horn on your head. “Timberwolves, huh? Well, you know what they say. Every tree must fall eventually…” And with that, you summon up a giant woodcutter’s axe and decimate the Timberwolf in front of you with a hundred chops within less than a second, not even giving it a chance to react. You then look to Diamond, and call out to her. “Diamond, I’m coming!” You shout out as you use your magic to hurl your mighty axe at the rest of the beasts. In one mighty throw, you manage to slice them all up by throwing the axe in a way to make it spin at a mindblowing rate. Once you succeeded with your attack, you rushed up to Diamond to see if she was alright. “Diamond, Diamond are you o-WAIT DIAMGAHHH!” But as you drew closer, Diamond suddenly raised her hoof and brought it straight down on your head in a chopping motion. It didn't really hurt, just sort of surprised you. She had her eyes closed, so she must have thought you were a Timberwolf, and tried chopping it herself. ”Ahh? Hah… Diamond, um, it’s over, you can open your eyes.”

“What?” Diamond slowly opened her eyes, but when she looked at you, she closed them again and began to really shake. “A-A-Anon…”

The hell? Why was she spooked? “Diamond? What’s wrong?”

“B-b-behind you.” She whimpered as she pointed forward behind you.

You suddenly hear an angrier and much more bloodthirsty growl. You freeze up as your ears twitch. You slowly turn around, and see that the Timberwolves you sliced up didn’t die. No, they had all quickly formed into a giant Timberwolf, eight times your size, and took advantage of your worry of Diamond to pull off their fusion. “Well then…” Was all you could say as the Timberwolf prepared to smash you into a pulp.

“Anon!” Diamond suddenly sprung into action the moment she knew you were in mortal danger. Though, instead of diving into you to get you out of the way, she turns and bucks you right in the ass, making you fall on your face and into the dirt, right under the Timberwolf. She must have thought she could send you over it or something with a strong buck. This, unfortunately, would also turn out to be a mistake for Diamond as the Timberwolf immediately turned its attention to the next available prey… Her. “GAAAHHH! ANON! HELP!”

God fucking dammit. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! HOW COULD YOU BE HAVING TROUBLE WITH TIMBERWOLVES?! IT IS A LOW TIER PIECE OF SHIT THAT DOESN’T COMPARE TO YOU AND YOUR POWER. FUCK, IT DOESN’T COMPARE TO THE AVERAGE EARTH PONY! AND HERE YOU WERE, GETTING YOUR SHIT KICKED IN FOR NO REASON! EVEN WORSE, HE DARES TRIES TO STRIKE THE PONY YOU PLAN TO CUDDLE AND SNUGGLE WITH?! TO HAVE LITTLE ANONS WITH?! FUCK NO!

With a burning fury, you immediately let loose a gigantic explosive flame from under you. Your horn synchronizes with your anger, creating gigantic and sweltering fire that immediately consumes the Timberwolf. However, before it could burn up into nothingness, it uses whatever surviving sticks it has and splits into five Timberwolf midgets that scamper back into the forest.

“YEAH! AND DON’T COME BACK! YOU HEAR ME?! OR I’M GONNA BURN DOWN THIS ENTIRE FOREST! YEAAAAAAAAAAH!” HAHA! You fucking did it! You kicked that asshole to the curb without the need of no fancy smancy essence. You didn’t feel it come upon you or anything, that was alllll you. Oh yeah! “Did you see that, Diamond?! Pure chaotic power, baby! Groove with me, come on now!” Fuck yeah! You started to dance in place over your momentous victory.

“Anon! You’re on fire!” Diamond called out to you

“Baby, I know it!” You tell her as you continue your groove.

“No, Anon, your mane is literally LITERALLY on fire!” She yells back at you.

Wut? You stop your groove and shift your eyes just slightly upwards to see embers of flames flying about. This, on top of the now burning pain on top of your noggin, let you know you were indeed on fire. “Well, will you look at that, I am on fire… AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” You scream out as you run around in circles in a panic.

“Anon!” Diamond said in shock as she witnessed you run around in blazing pain. She quickly darted her eyes around to find something to help you. She then notices your saddlebag. She moves in close and waits for you to run by to snag your bag with a hard tug, she then quickly opens it and waits for you to pass again. Once you do, she quickly tries to get the bag to cover your head and take out the flame. Instead, she ends up burying you in bits from the magical space within as your Starlight Hook and Chaos Wings plops on top of the pile. It at least put the flame out… “Anon? A-are you ok?”

You slowly peer your head out, drunk from shock and dizziness as you look to Diamond with a goofy smile. “I feel like a million bits” You tell her, with your head then hanging back from near unconsciousness.

“W-well, at least he’s ok.” Diamond tries to reassure herself as she then begins the process of snapping you back to reality.

Christ, the Everfree, as you both went deeper, you really started to learn why everyone stayed out of the deeper portions of it. You had to slap down flyders, blast through a cragodile, but worst of all was when you got eaten by a gigantic plant. You had to think fast in escaping it, and as it turned out, making yourself extremely spicy caused it to spit you out in a glob of Mother Nature’s spit. Even worse, the spell you cast to get it off you caused all of your coat and mane to fly off with it. The only way it seemed that you were going to get it back was to use water to have it grow at a decent but embarrassing pace. At the point you are at now, both of you were close to Chrysalis, and only some of your coat and very little of your mane has grown in so far, making you look like a half bald weirdo. And boy, did it make you sour.

“Anon, you don’t look that bad.” Diamond said as she stepped alongside you “Erm, at least it’s growing back.”

“Egghh…” You muttered as you just focused on the map, not doing a good job of hiding your mood.

“Come on, I only laughed once. It, well, it… Mnnn…” Diamond sighed and looked away for a moment, then looked back to you as she thought of something to say. “Are you saying you wouldn’t laugh if, say, Snips and Snails ended up like that?”

“Egh… Maybe, I dunno.” You stop to tap at your head. Your mane was still coming in, you could feel it, but it just wasn’t there yet. Your coat, it still felt rather thin and you could see patches of your skin through it. “I guess?”

“You totally would! Because it would be funny! Also, I still think you look good, so that should be the most important thing, right?” Diamond said, doing her best to cheer you up.

“No, having magic that just works would be nice right now. It either works too well or not the way I want it to. I swear Dad has it rigged to do this to me at times, because he never has any problems with his magic ever.” You say with a groan. Hell, looking at the map, you could already tell Chrysalis was going to mock you so hard for this since it looked like you were going to reach her before the spell completes. You couldn’t just dawdle either, lest another creepy crawly decides to show up.

“Well… I have noticed that your magic works really weird and stuff. But, uh, since you’re growing your coat and mane back like a plant, wouldn’t using something to make it grow faster help?” Diamond suggested.

“Something to help it grow faster? Huh…” Yeah, there was some merit to that. Actually, why couldn’t you do that? It’d be something Discord might do, so it has to work. “Y’know, Diamond, I think that might work. Good thinking.” You compliment her as you slap your horn on your head. All you had to do was think of some miracle grow or some other spray to help things along and you’d be golden.

Diamond beamed a big smile, feeling great to be of use, while feeling a little arrogant at the same time. “Of course. You gotta remember, Anon, that I’m high class. Therefore, I totally have a higher way of thinking. In fact, chaos doesn’t seem that tough, I bet I could handle casting a spell or two if that’s all it takes to use it.”

Diamond, using the horn? That’s a scary thought, especially if she had any schemes that involved you and her getting closer than you already are. Hell, in that case, you two would probably end up stuck to one another in the literal sense. “Heh, it takes more than smart thinking to use this horn, Diamond. You gotta have pizzazz. You always gotta think outside the box, have a good knowledge of puns and punchlines, and never ever think of the most straightforward solution to a problem, because it never works. For example, the way I’m growing my hair back is already chaos worthy, but with your method mixed with my knowledge of plants, I can make it grow to an instant with… That isn’t miraclsDGDGFSD” And so, you summoned up a pile of fertilizer right above you, which then fell right upon you.

“U-ummm, Anon?” Diamond backed off a little as the smell immediately began to spread from the pile, while also making her rethink her decision on wanting to use chaos magic. “A-are you ok?”

You pull yourself from the pile, fully restored, and full of stink, the smell itself overwhelming you as you come out in a deluded stupor. “I swear to god, when I get my hands on McFly, I’m gonna break him in two.”

“Anon? Who’s Mcfly?” Diamond asked before her face scrunched up from the smell. “Ewww, ohh, that’s reaaallllyyy bad.”

McFly? OH wait, this wasn’t ‘Back to the Future’. “Huh? Oh, oh geez… OH, oof. That’s bad. Hold on!” Ugh, it was literal crap. God, it smelled like shit, and it was all over you. You use your horn one last time, causing your coat to fuzz up instantly from a touch of a single drop of soap that appeared over your head. You smelled lemony. Hell, another droplet fell upon the pile of fertilizer, turning it into a giant lemon.

Diamond then began to giggle. “Hahahaha! Anon, you look ridiculous EEK!” And upon reflex of wanting some revenge, you force one more droplet to appear and fall onto Diamond, making her coat clean as it puff up in the form of a ball.

“You’re right, you do look ridiculous! Hah!” You let out a laugh of your own, chuckling at how goofy she looked.

“Ok ok, I get it.” Diamond rolled her eyes at you, then chuckled a little “I feel really clean though. But how do we get our coats back to normal?”

“This should be more simple, just summon some brushes and…” With that, you made all sorts of brushes and combs appear to fix both you and Diamond up proper. Ah, that was a hell of a chaotic combo right there. And fuck, now you both looked snazzier than ever before, almost shiny even. You didn’t know what you were going to do with that lemon though, probably just good to leave it.

You both continued on your trek, already close to your destination within the deeper parts of the forest.

And then, there she was. Or rather, you both could hear her faintly behind some bushes. Fucking finally, the time has come.

“A-Anon, is that her?” Diamond asked as she felt a tad jittery. She looked upon the bush, feeling nervous about looking through it.

“Sounds like it. Diamond, look…” You sigh, god, this was really it. This had to go well, and so, Diamond had to be as prepared as you were. Chrysalis was crafty and still very against the idea of reforming, so you were going to need Diamond to back you up, as a ‘wife’ would. “This isn’t Nymous. Well, it is Nymous, but this is the actual her. She can be very mean, and she’s very cunning. You have to stand your ground with her, and not be afraid of her, alright?”

Diamond looks to you, and there was a sign of hesitation. But then she nodded and looked back to the bush with determination. “Alright. Besides, I think we understand each other enough. I think things will go well, like, perfectly.”

“Alright then…” You approach the bush and slowly peered through it to find out what was going on. Chrysalis was talking, yeah, but to who? No one had been answering her, and it was kind of hard to catch what she was talking about at all as she randomly went from near whispers to vengeful yelling. “Let’s see what’s going on first.” Huh, wut? Was she…

“...And once I have perfected the spell, I’ll have an Anon who is wil-Hm?” Chrysalis seemed to be talking to a… Painted rock with a changeling on it. Oh man, poor Chryssy, you didn’t realize she had gone down that hard. No wonder she wanted you dead, she really wasn’t thinking too rationally. And what was she talking about? You had no clue. However, the moment she heard a sound, she quickly ducked into the brush ahead of her.

“Anon? What happened? Where did she go?” Diamond asked.

You stop to look at your map. Aha, just as you thought. She was circling around to give the ole villainous jumpscare. “She’s coming around behind us. She’s going to try to spook us or maybe even attack us. Don’t worry, ok? She probably doesn’t even know it’s us, so she’ll probably stop the moment she knows we're here.”

“I get it, she’s just making sure she doesn’t get jumped. Makes sense.” Diamond said, understanding the situation.

“Yup, and she’ll be coming up on us in three, two…” And before you could even say one, Chrysalis, in the form of one of the smaller drone bugs from Starship Troopers, pops out with a hiss. It still manages to spook Diamond into jumping into the bushes, but you yourself just stand there, ready to greet her.

“WHO DARES COMES UPON MY LAIR?!” Chrysalis cries out in a voice most horrid.

“Hey, Chrysalis, what’s up?” You say with a cheery look, waving to her.

In an instant, Chrysalis’s form reverts to normal as she just looks upon you with confusion. She shifts her eyes left and right before letting them fall upon you again. “Anon? What? What are you doing- Oh no…” She then lets out a groan as she hangs her head low. “Please tell me you're seriously not here to try to reform me. I can just feel those emotions coming off of you. A little early, don’t you think? I’d have preferred a movie, or perhaps you willing to give my side of things a chance by at least helping me annihilate one princess.”

“Hello to you too, Chrysalis. And yeah, I’ve come to give it a shot. The ‘game’ and all that. You doing alright? I’ve been worried, y’know?” You tell her, being sincere in your words.

“Humph! Save your sentiments for your pony friends! You know where I’ve been! You know HOW I’ve been! Hiding here in this forest, my children taken away from me, having to plot on my own on how best to destroy Celestia for what she has done! You’re a fool to come here, Anon, I doubt you even came up with your own scheme to sway me.” Chrysalis said as she walked past you, back to her ‘lair’. You just looked back at her and looked at what it looked like. Well, besides some big ass leaves for rain protection and some painted on rocks, it really wasn’t anything else.

“Chrysalis, it’s not just about scheming, ok? Geez, can’t it also be me wanting to have a friendly visit with my friend? My friend being you? Why do you always gotta make it sound like an evil plot?” Like, seriously, it was such a one dimensional way of thinking.

“Fine, it’s a 'friendly visit', whoopty doo.” Chrysalis says with an eyeroll before plopping her butt on the ground. “So what does my good friend, Anon, want? Aside from wanting to reform me.” She says in a sarcastic tone.

“Like I said, I want to make sure you’re ok. I can… I dunno.” You look around as you slide your hoof along your horn. “Spruce this place up, actually make it a lair. Would you like that?”

Chrysalis doesn’t say anything at first, even looking away from you for a moment before saying, in an almost subdued way. “Yes, I’d like that. But I won’t owe you anything, understand?”

Well, that’s a good start. You look back at the bushes and see Diamond just observing. Seems she was waiting for her time to pop out to say hi. You give her a nod, to let her know things are fine, and that Chrysalis wasn’t going to hurt her. You then put on your horn and work your magic as a ton of tools appear and immediately start turning the surrounding area into a small home. Within a moment, you were in a single room building. The room was large enough to accommodate a very soft looking bed, some lights, a work table, and just for her, a TV with an mp4 player that had the movies she already watched, preloaded with Kill Bill volume 1 and 2 snuck in as well. Hell, it had to do with a killer bride, she was sure to love it. “There we are, nice and basic, perfect for customizing. This alright?” You ask her. “Even gave you a way to watch your favorite documentaries.”

“Hmmm…” Chrysalis walked over to the bed and gave it a simple push with her hoof. “Adequate, much better than what I had previously. Good to know that you still know how to treat your qu-WHAT?!” But when Chrysalis looks back at you, she could see Diamond was sitting right there behind you, the bush gone due to the work the magical tools had performed.

Diamond, knowing she got spotted, just nervously smiled and waved towards Chrysalis. “H-hi. I-I’m Diamond T-tiara, you remember me, r-right?”

Your eyes go wide when you realized what was going on. Sure, this is what you were expecting anyway. But dayum, it already seemed like it was a mistake.

Chrysalis narrowed her eyes at you as she slowly and menacingly stepped closer. “What is the meaning of this, Anon?”

“Woah, woah! Relax!” Dammit, take control of the situation, Anon. It’s now or never!... Fuck, but you didn’t really have too much of a speech prepared. Better improvise. “We came together to see you, Chrysalis. Remember how I said she cared about you? Well, she also wanted to make sure you were ok. You can sense that, can’t you?”

“H-he’s right.” Diamond said, daring to step closer as she joined you at your side. “I know you were Nymous, I know you say you’re evil and stuff. B-but, you still did a lot for me, and brought me closer to Anon. So of course I wanted to make sure you were ok too.”

Chrysalis just stayed silent for a moment, then she backed off just a tad before turning around and hopping on her bed, aggravated with the fact she could in fact sense Diamond’s love. “Well, this is different. I guess you were really telling the truth, how bothersome.”

“Why is it bothersome?” Diamond asked “Shouldn’t you be happy that we care about you?”

“I’m not.” Chrysalis says as she rolls onto her back and looks up at the ceiling. “If only because I actually have to consider not using you as food. Why are you even here? This is between me and him.”

“Because I wanted to see you. Because I felt bad that you didn’t stay for my ‘not real’ wedding because other ponies wouldn’t have accepted you.” Diamond explains to her, trying to appeal to her better nature.

“I didn’t stay because I didn’t want to stay. Why should I care about a false wedding? It’s not like it matters.” Chrysalis says, just blankly staring at the ceiling as she does so.

“But it does! Hmph…” Diamond says, suddenly becoming more brazen as she steps closer to Chrysalis. “You know, I was a schemer too. I wanted to torment the Cutie Mark Crusaders just because I felt I was better than them. I thought it’d make me feel better to crush their hopes since my mother used to crush mine! But then, thanks to the crusaders, I changed, and I’m happy about it.”

“And? What does that have to do with your ‘wedding’?” Chrysalis asked, her tone mocking.

“Because to me, you’re my sister, or at least a really good friend. And I would have shown them all that you are worth caring about! That deep in your heart, that you’re as good and caring as Anon. If all your children are good and nice, then you’re probably the best of them all!” Diamond said, standing tall as she poured her heart out on Chrysalis.

Chrysalis’s eyes glowed a furious green for a moment before she got out of bed and furiously stomped over to Diamond. “The best of them?! You think those traitors are worth caring about at all?! Let me tell you something, you naive thing. Princess Celestia and that traitor, Thorax, brought about the end of my hive and my rule! They tricked Anon, who I don’t blame because he’s an idiot, and corrupted my changeling children with their ‘friendship’ and ‘love’! You, who have lived a privileged life, can never EVER understand what was taken from me. And you…” Chrysalis then turned to you as Diamond fell back, shocked from Chrysalis’s outburst. “I need you to tell me if I still look good. Although I can transform, nothing will ever beat my magnificent figure and I wish to keep it that way.”

Wut? “Chrysalis!” You bark at her in defense of Diamond. “You insult my marefriend and then you ask that?! What’s wrong with you?!”

“Oh, betrayal, having to survive in a forest, my children being gone, I’m sure I’ve been over this. Plus, I didn’t want to have to say the same thing twice. Anon, you are, without a doubt, the most privileged out of anypony, even me. Plucked from your old life to a life where you are automatically loved, given power that can defeat alicorns, gained the love of a female without any effort, and treated as a grand hero without even really trying. Not to mention gaining a powerful family in both an element and spirit of chaos.” Chrysalis walks past the both of you, feeling rather smug in her retort “Really, your only downside is how easily manipulated you are. Not just by me, but by everypony else. And, little Diamond, don’t feel insulted, you just don’t fathom the inner rage I have deep inside. It’s not unlike the hatred all ponies have for me, the feelings are merely mutual, that’s all.”

“But I don’t hate you. And…” Diamond actually did feel hurt from her words, and it was true she couldn’t truly understand how she felt. But she also knew, due to the hatred she herself used to carry, that not everything Chrysalis was saying was factual. “The only reason anypony does is because of things you did in the past. Look at your children, they were hated too, right? Look, maybe they did become sissys, but they were also forgiven for what they did. Don’t you think you can be forgiven too? Nopony was taken from you, they were just shown a better way! Just like me!” Diamond stood tall, trying to brave things out, trying to convince Chrysalis there was a way.

“Aren’t you listening?! I HATE PONIES!” Chrysalis turned back around, and looked to Diamond with furious anger. “And what makes you think they’d forgive me? Hmm? I am evil incarnate! And just to prove it, I’ll make you my first meal of the day!” Chrysalis began to open her mouth. SHIT!

You reached for your horn to stop her. Dammit, you didn’t want to do it, but you had to! But, when you looked to Diamond, you could see her shaking her head at you, staying determined rather than frightened. She then lets out a sharp “Anon, don’t!”. What?! You shout at her that you had to, but again she told you don’t. And within that span of time, you had noticed… Chrysalis wasn’t going further. Diamond then looked to her, and nodded. Indeed, Chrysalis had not actually even begun to drain her. “...I knew you wouldn’t do it.”

Chrysalis closes her mouth and then looks to Diamond, confused, and a tad subdued. “And how could you be so sure? How do you know I didn’t just realize Anon would use his powers on me? Hm?”

“Because you wanted him to. Pllleeeeease.” Diamond said in a mocking tone, looking to Chrysalis with a smirk. “You think I can’t tell when somepony like you is faking it? My mother totally taught me how to catch on to stuff like that. You act too much like an upper class pony, just like me. You’re too obvious.”

“OBVIOUS?! I AM THE QUEEN OF THE CHANGELINGS! I CAN BE ANYTHING I WANT AT ANYTIME! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! BY WHAT LOGIC ARE YOU USING TO EVEN THINK I’D WANT TO BE ATTACKED! TELL ME!” Chrysalis did not like that insult at all. And what the fuck?! The hell was Diamond doing? She just shifted from disheartened to commandeering in an instant. What did she catch on to that you didn’t?

“Easy. You were getting totally frustrated. So frustrated that you probably just thought it’d be easier to make us hate you, that way you could just feel the way you wanna feel. Creatures of refinement, like us, do our best to stay composed and diligent to make sure our peers don’t get one over on us. So it makes it pretty easy to pick up on a few tells on something like, say, wanting a specific reaction. Plus, we all know that Anon’s dad was forgiven twice. You may be evil incarnate, but Tirek and Discord did almost ruin and rule all of Equestria. So if he can be forgiven, so can you.” Diamond tone was smug, looking to Chrysalis with an accomplished smirk.

Chrysalis lowered her head to about Diamond’s level, looking to her with narrowing eyes. “...Discord was betrayed BY Tirek.”

Diamond looks back to her, growing ever confident. “That doesn’t change the fact that he betrayed everypony else first. I also don’t hear you saying I’m wrong about wanting to be attacked.”

Chrysalis wrenched back in surprise. She was silent, thinking, defeated even? Chrysalis looks at you, then back to Diamond and narrows her eyes at her once again. “You little… I only have one thing to say to you.”

“And what’s that?” Diamond asked, ready for anything.

Chrysalis beckoned her closer, then began to whisper in her ear. During this, Diamond began to blush, look at you, then go back to listening before letting out. “Does he really?!”

Chrysalis nodded “Yes, he’s rather soft that way.”

Wut? “Uhhhhhh, what just happened?! Are, what?! What are you guys even… Are you guys talking about me?!”

“Yes, Anon, we’re talking about you. But it’s private girl talk, so don’t worry about it.” Chrysalis said as she waved her hoof at you dismissively.

“What?! What even happened then?! Anypony want to explain it to me?!" Just, wut?!

“Oh, well, Chrysalis says she’s willing to give it a shot if you can stop her next big evil scheme. That sounds fair to me, what about you?” Diamond said, seeming rather content about the whole thing.

“What about WHAT?! No! I just went through the trouble of getting ALL the princesses, including Twilight AND Celestia, to give her a chance and get this whole thing settled painlessly. As in, so my good friend can stop being vengeful and evil and live a good life and have her children back and everything! And you just want to let her do something incredibly evil?! How does that make sense?” Like, god… WHAT?! “And what about that stuff about me?!”

“Like I said, Anon, girl talk. And who cares what you did to make my life ‘easier’, as if I’d EVER just accept those pin headed princesses to just ‘accept’ me. And, at this point, your marefriend is right, I am frustrated. The game was fun for awhile, but this back and forth with no progress has become oh so tiresome. So, I propose just letting me hatch my plot, and in return, I’ll give what you want, a chance anyway. How could you refuse such a proposal? I’m even letting you deal with me personally, you should be able to stop me with all that power. What, are you afraid you can’t?” Chrysalis said boredly, as she began to take a gander at the TV.

Your eye twitched. THE WUTTEST WUT?! “Are you insane?! Do you think they’ll want to forgive you after you try to do something evil yet again?!”

“Bla bla, Discord forgiven, yadda yadda. You’re beginning to bore me, Anon. Tell me something interesting instead, like starships. Do you think I could have one right now? It would make things fair since I’d eventually have to go against you anyway.” Chrysalis says, mockingly, she knew she wouldn’t get it.

“No… Geez, are we… Are we really doing this? Are you kidding me?!” Like, what the fuck!

“Anon, we have to. It’s not like it should be hard for you, you should be able to stop Chrysalis no problem. And then we can help her.” Diamond said, enthusiastic about the whole thing.

Chrysalis chuckled evilly and jovially “Yes, Anon, it should be easy. So what are you worried about?”

“G-guh, I just… I…Ughhhhhhhhh.” You nearly fall over. Holy shit, you were really doing this. “Seriously? Fine, but you better hold up your end of the bargain!”

“I will, you can even tell the princesses if you want. You can stack the odds against me however you wish, Anon.” Chrysalis says with a giggle as she approached you, and plucked a hair from your mane. She looked at it intently before giving you an evil sneer “But I swear to you, you’ll be stacking those odds both ways.”

Even tell the princesses? The hell was she on? WAIT! Unless! HAHA! You can read her too. “Ah, ahaha! I see what’s going on. You’re just setting yourself up to lose anyway just because you still feel that being hated would be better than being loved! I’m on to you, Chrysalis, and I’ll make sure you know exactly how loved you really are.” Ok, maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

“Sure, whatever you say. In any case, I have suddenly become very busy, and want you both to leave. Ah, but before you do.” Chrysalis looks back over at Diamond, and gives her a gentle head pat. “Remember what I told you, Diamond. I’m sure it will do you well.”

Diamond nodded, very pleased with whatever that was. “I will. Thank you, Nymo-, I mean Chrysalis.”

Chrysalis visibly flinched from that, but then composed herself just as quick. She did thank you, as well, for the new ‘lair’. Other than that, she was rather adamant that you both leave. You were sure you had things figured out, and so you let Chrysalis know that you had her that time, something she still dismissed. Whatever, you had it. Using your magic, you teleport you and Diamond back to the manor, a feat you knew would be easier since it was clear, in your memory, didn’t shift locations, and was in a relatively safe spot.

You also never did figure out what you would do with that lemon.

Teleporting back to the front door of the Rich Manor, you let out a cheer, feeling you have Chrysalis all figured out. “Haha! Diamond, we really did it! You really did it! You’re amazing!” You cheer as you give her a hug and spin her around for a bit. “She’s going to do some half hearted evil plan! She’s giving up! Yeeeeeeeeeeesss! Finally!”

“Anon! I’m… wait.” At first Diamond was ecstatic for the praise, up until you mentioned that last part. “She’s not gonna slack on her plan, she’s going full on evil, she told me she was, and I could tell she was.”

“....” WUT?! “Wait, what?! She can’t! Why would she tell me to warn the princesses then?!”

“I dunno, she didn’t actually tell me what the plan was. But I guess she felt with you explaining things, that the fallout wouldn’t be as bad if the princesses knew ahead of time, kind of like a game.” Diamond guessed, pondering on it for a moment before looking to you with bedroom eyes, not saying another word.

“Oh geez! Chrysalis, why do you gott-wha? Diamond?” You looked at her, confused, and with that look, a little subdued. “You ok?”

Diamond giggles a little, then gave you a lick along your neck. “Anon, how about we get on my bed right now and do the horizontal waltz.”

“the horiz-GYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAH!” WHAT IN THE FUCK?! DID SHE JUST?! HOLY CRAP! WHERE DID THAT SUDDENLY COME FROM?! DING DING DING! Your entire body turns red as steam exhausts from your nose, a loud whistle like sound being blasted out. That was it! HOLY SHIT! WHEN DID SHE…?! Your eyes roll back inside your head as you fall over to your side.

“Wow, Chrysalis was right, it really did knock you out.” Diamond said, confused, but delighted as she tugs on your leg. “I don’t even know what that means, but looking at your reaction, I bet it’s a lot of fun!”

Your eye began to twitch at that, holy shit, she didn’t even realize what it meant?! Chrysalis, you bitch! She outplayed you again! How could this situation get any worse?! How were you going to talk her out of this?!

And with that thought, the door opened, with Filthy Rich at the other side of it looking around for something. “Now what was that noise? Coulda sworn ah heard a train roll- Oh, well hello there, my little darlin’, what are… Anon? Why are you on the ground like that? It’s dirty down there, son.”

SDRGSDFGDFGDFGS OH GOD, IT GOT WORSE! You stand up, going red to white, as you greet Mr. Rich. “MR. RICH! HI, HOW ARE YOU?!”

“Anon, ya don’t have to shout. Huh, what’s goin on here? Did any of you hear a train?” Filthy said as he looked around again, up until an idea suddenly hit him, causing him to chuckle. “Ah, never mind. Ah bet it was just Anon impressin’ again with that magic. Ain’t that right, son? You know you ain’t gotta wow her everytime. You’re gonna ruin the romanticisms that way.”

“Oh, he wasn’t using his magic, Daddy. I was just asking him about the horizontal waltz.” Diamond said. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

“Oh, is that all? Ah thought it was something like-” But then something clicked in Filthy’s head, making him bug out, his mane suddenly exploding outwards as he yelled out. “ASKING ABOUT WHAT NOW?! DIAMOND, WHERE DID YA HEAR SUCH A THING?!”

“U-uhmm…” Diamond, not only surprised that she had to come up with a lie on the spot, was also surprised by her father’s reaction. She couldn't let him know about Chrysalis. “A-a pony from out of town, who lives very very far away told me about it. I-is there a problem? Do you know what the horizontal waltz is?”

Filthy’s eye twitched, he was losing it, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and he also knew he couldn’t shatter her innocence lest everything he ever did as a father falls apart. He gulped, then looked to you, half accusingly and half hoping you didn’t know jack shit about this. “E-erm, well, that’s a matter if Anon here knows what that is. But ya don’t, do ya, son?”

OH GOD, NOTHING CAN SAVE YOU NOW! NOT EVEN DISCORD! GAAAAAAH! WHAT DO YOU SAY?! SHIT! YOU ONLY HAD ONE WAY OUT OF THIS! LIIIEEEEE! “U-um, well, that is like, a pegasus dance, right? Where you dance vertically in the air? I mean, I could do it with my horn if I shift gravity, then we could waltz together in mid air. S-seems impractical, b-but yeah, sounds about right.” Oh god, please don’t let him kill you.

But Filthy wasn’t going to kill you, as he assumed you really didn’t know what it was either. Hearing your words, he immediately uses them to his own advantage to steer his daughter away from such a notion. “T-that’s right, Anon, that’s exactly what it is. S-so you see, darlin’, it ain’t really nothin’ to think about, and especially ask yer mother about. It’s just another way to waltz we earth ponies can’t even do.”

“Really? Huh, I guess. But then why does it sound like it’d be more intimate a-” But before Diamond can say her words, Filthy suddenly cuts her off as he opens the door wide.

“Well, will ya look at the time. Sorry, darlin’, but today I’m gonna have to give ya a few extra business type lessons. Say goodbye to Anon, ahm sure he’s got very important things to do. Right, son?” Filthy really didn’t want to be rude to you, but this sudden development caused him to want to get this out of his daughter’s head as soon as possible. And although he didn’t know that you ACTUALLY knew what the horizontal waltz was, he winked at you just the same to just get you to leave without it seeming too rude or sudden. And, oh yeah, you got the damn hint and wanted to be out of there anyway.

“Um, yes! Yes I do, gotta actually talk to, er, Princess Twilight about… Something… Important.” Oh, please, please… You could feel your soul crumbling, thank god it wasn’t Spoiled who stepped through that door, you’d already be dead.

“OH! That’s right, you do! But uhm, Daddy…” Diamond said with a whine. “Do I really have to? I want to hang out with Anon a little more, maybe see how the whole horizontal waltz thing feels.”

Both you and Filthy’s eye twitched at the same time of both of you hearing that, his tie having a life of it's own as it nearly flies off. Holy christ! Again, thank god Filthy was more understanding and ignorant of the fucking situation. “No can do, honey lamb. Rich business is important business, you have plenty of time to be with Anon tomorrow. But, er, let’s just be forgetting about any dancin’ for now and get to learnin’, ya hear?”

Diamond sighed, near defiantly, but accepted her father’s words with a slight eye roll. “I guess, ok…” She then turns to you and gives you a gentle kiss on the nose. “Ok, Anon, I gotta go. Super good luck on your mission, ok?” Diamond says with a wink.

“Y-yeah, um, good luck with your lesson!” You say with a quick and shaky kiss back “And, uh, take care, Mr. Rich. Erm, and uh… I’ll forget about the waltz thing too, seems a little complicated.”

“Yes, very complicated. A-anyway, ya take care, son.” Filthy said as he slicked his mane back and straightened his tie, which had become tilted as the conversation went on. He let Diamond into the house, took a look outside one last time, and slammed the door shut.

You fell to the ground after that, twitching, thanking every lucky star you fucking had that this didn’t fucking go nuclear. Dear lord, dear fucking lord. You knew, you just knew, that Mr. Rich was going to do his best to make her forget about it, and to especially make sure Mrs. Rich never hears about it. Because god, you could imagine you hanging on a noose next to Mr. Rich if shit really went down.

And although you should find Twilight and tell her the news. You had free time now, enough time to go and personally check out your ‘admirers’. But, Anon, just remember. No matter how cute they might actually be, you must stand firm, this entire quest is just meant to see what this yak and hippogriff were all about.

A short chapter for a skit I thought would be funny.

Prepare for Young 6

God, oh god, as you venture back towards the denser part of town, you thanked god and whatever horse gods there may be that the situation didn’t become a gigantic disaster. You actually had to take a moment to find a bench and lay down to get your mind off of things. “Christ, just… Ok, Anon. Finally, you’re alone, things are fine, things are going to be definitely fine." Yep, nah, things are good, why are you even upset? Especially when you had something else to focus on. You had some ‘students’ to find. But first, since you're catching your breath…

“Discord, yo, Discord.” You put a hoof to your ear and start calling for the daffy draconequus using your codec “You there?”

“Ah, Anon, how are things? Hmm, you sound rather exhausted.” Discord said

“I am, ummm… Look, I went to see Chrysalis, and I got some news.” You tell him. You might as well tell him, make sure you got defenses at every front just in case something happens. Hell, even Starswirl had your back, how could things go bad?

“News? Well, before you tell me anything, let me give you a few updates of my own. One, Fluttershy would love to see you in a barbarian outfit. After explaining most of our adventure in Hyrule, she became rather enamored in wanting to see her ‘hero colt’ in an ‘adorable’ costume. Don’t ask me why, she just has a thing for you looking adorable. Next update, well, actually, that was all the updates. So the only thing I really have to add is that somehow, even after all that training with Rainbow Dash, you seem terribly out of shape. You could join a buckball team, you know? Not like we don’t have a player in the family that could whip you into something better.” Discord told you with a bit of a mischievous chuckle.

“Dammit, Discord! I don’t need any more training and I don’t need to join some junior buckball league. You think Fluttershy is good? I’d fucking annihilate the opposition, no problem.” You bark back, but all you could hear was heavy laughter after you said that. Ugh, goddammit, you didn’t need to take this. “You don’t know shit, ok?! Shut up! I got important stuff to tell you anyway!”

“Yes, yes, Chrysalis is probably going to pull off some ‘big plot’ before she’s ready to actually try to live among ponies. I get it, can I go back to laughing at your silly comment now?” Discord said, annoyed.

“What?! How did you know that?! Were you eavesdropping or something?!” You said in surprise.

“Didn’t care to. Look, villain one-oh-one isn’t just a trope. Do you think anypony of any status would just give up when the end is near? No, we just up the ante and see whether we win or lose. I almost got away with it until it turned out I simply cared too much. If you think about it, Applejack is so stubborn that she’d try to pull a big anything before giving in. She’d done something like that before, hasn’t she? Even breaking one of those ‘Pinkie Promises’, if I heard correctly. Anyway, I don’t need to watch the show, you know? The way Fluttershy tells stories is much more entertaining.” Discord explains.

The fuck was he even talking about? “Fuck off, Discord, that wasn’t even the same thing! That was just a goddamn heel turn moment and you know it! Don’t go spouting bullshit when you know that deep down you’re a goddamn kitten when it comes to her! How do you not see that?!”

“Oh, well, that’s very easy. Observe.” As Discord says that, you suddenly hear a pop above you.

“What in the wFSDFSDAFDS” And then suddenly, you were engulfed in a pile of slimy eyeballs, all blinking, like a ball pit of creepy squishy eyes. “OH GOD! THIS IS GROSS! DISCOOOOOOOORD!”

“Oh don't yell, Anon, I just wanted to SEE what you mean! Have fun, Anon!” Discord says with a hearty laugh before cutting communications.

Goddamn it! Even as you reach for your horn, you could feel the slippery sliminess of all the eyeballs piled onto you, blinking, staring. You use your magic to make them vanish from your proximity, but you were still rather shiny from all the ‘tears’ that had smeared onto your coat. “...Dammit, Discord, geez. Still can’t fucking take it, can you?”

“Well, that was the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen you throw exploding mail.” Said a familiar voice from the side of the bench.

“Wha?!” You look in surprise to see… Smolder? She was just standing there, weirded out by the fact that she had seen you get piled on by eyes. “S-Smolder? W-what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in school or something?”

Smolder shrugged “I am, sorta. Class is on an assignment. Professor Pinkie wants us to say hi to everycreature in town. I don’t really get it, but whatever. So, uh, what was all that about? Or do you just like taking ahh…” Smolder began to show a hint of disgust as she saw how gross you looked “taking random… weird… whatever… baths?”

Oh god, you must have looked gross and goofy right now. “Ugh, don’t look at me like that, this is just because of my Dad. Give me a second.” You slap on your horn one more time, and this time, make quick work of the goo on your body by using a million tiny squeegees to push the liquid into the void. “...There, a lot better.”

“And still weird.” Smolder puts her hand to her hip and points to you with the other as she lets out a gentle chuckle “But hey, uh, that’s you. Um… Woo, this is tough.” Smolder then looked away as she rubbed the back of her head. “Actually, since I ran into you and all, we’re still cool, right? That whole ‘stop everything and make it blue’ thing was really ominous and spooky. Seemed like you were really angry at me.”

“Heh, like I said before, we’re still cool.” You tell her, giving her a cool smile as you do.

“Great! Anyway, you haven’t run into Yona yet, right?” Smolder asked.

“No, I was actually gonna check out your whole class just now, but I guess you’re all walking around town. She still on the whole ‘fight the hero colt’ thing?” Heh, because you were ready to defend your title.

“She still is. I even got a bet going with this griffon named Gallus on this one. Though, if you’re gonna take her on, it’s gotta be away from Ponyville.” Smolder said as she began to look to the side, towards a road that went away from the town.

“Oh, heh, well, I can work with that. And don’t worry either, I’ll make sure you win that bet.” You tell her as you give her a wink.

“I mean, I bet against you, so if you just wanna throw the fight, that’d be ok with me.” Smolder said with a shrug.

“Yeah, I know, I’m pre-WHAT?! Why would you bet against me?! So what, this guy I don’t even know bet against Yona then?!” Like, what the fuck?! You shredded her brother, so what gives?!

“Oh, no, he bet against you too. Like I said, I got a bet going with Gallus... against Silverstream. I don’t think she even realized that it’s gonna be a headbutting contest, she just put a bet down because she has this huge thing for you.” Smolder explained.

GYAH?! WHAT?! You were stunned, just utterly stunned. What the fuck, man! You’re the prince of goddamn chaos, how could anyone bet AGAINST you at all!? “A-are you serious?! Even after what happened with your brother?! I whupped his butt like it was nothing!”

“Hey! C’mon, don’t mention that, and not so loud! Ugh…” Smolder groaned as she hung her body back “Look, I was just making the safest bet, ok? Yona shakes the entire place up when she stomps her hooves down, so, y’know, seemed like a smart bet.”

You walked up to Smolder really close and narrowed your eyes at her, you just couldn’t believe she’d bet against you. “You can’t be serious.”

“Anon, look.” Smolder very gently places her hand on your forehead and slowly pushes you back “I’ve known Yona longer than you, and it isn’t even by that much. Don’t get annoyed with me because I chose her over you, ok? She’s big, and you’re really small. Plus, this kind of thing doesn’t involve your weird horn thing, so there, ok? It’s nothing against you at all.” Smolder groaned once again as she began to rub her forehead for relief “Look, it’s not a big thing, I made a choice, that’s all. If you want, I can go find Yona and get this whole thing set up, how does that sound? That way we can see if you're really all that.”

“Yeah, go do that, I’ll be waiting inside the Colosseum by the train station.” You tell her as you pose in a strong stance.

“Aren’t they still remodeling that for the school?” Smolder asked

“Oh, er, then just meet me outside of town, that way!” You point towards another road that led out of town towards the forest path with the river on the side. “I’ll be waiting for you all there. And be prepared, because I’m totally gonna win.”

“Sheesh, Anon, calm down. It’s not that big a deal. Also, don’t let any of the professors or Headmare Twilight know. And if you see this green pony named Sandbar or Ocellus, don’t tell them about it either. They’re cool and all, but they aren’t ok with this whole thing. I don’t know why, considering Yona is dead set on this.” Smolder, it seems, was in on a secret bet between Silverstream and Gallus. Looks like you’d be able to meet Yona and Silverstream in one go too, haha! “They’d think somecreature would get hurt or that it’s wrong or something. I think it’s just settling something for Yona so she can get over it and focus on friendship stuff.”

She’s gonna be focusing on the asshurt when you’re done with her. “Sure, whatever. You’re still talking as if I’m gonna lose.”

“I gotta choose one, Anon. I’m still your friend, and I still think you’re cool. It’s nothing personal, I’m just helping another friend. Yaks have this whole pride thing going on and I just want her to relax about it, ok?” Smolder again tries to get you to relax, not seeing how this was all a big deal. "And make some gems on the side..."

“Trust me, with my head, I don’t think she won’t have much pride left when I’m done with her.” Fuck this, man. How could anyone, ANYONE, think you’d lose at a headbutting content? That was like, your bread and butter! You felt insulted, and knew you had to pull out all the stops to beat this yak.

“Wow, that’s a little dark, isn’t it? I didn’t know you were that pridef-Oh no, geez!” Smolder’s eyes go wide for a moment before she goes and slaps her face. “Nevermind, I think I just realized why Sandbar and Ocellus wouldn’t want this to happen. Oh wow, I feel bad all of a sudden. Weird, considering this kind of thing doesn’t usually bother me.”

“What are you talking about?” Serious, what was up now?

“Her pride, your pride. I just realized this will be hurting one of you pretty bad, depending on who wins. And I guess…” Smolder brings a hand to her heart and grimaces “...That’s not a thing I should let happen. Egh, yeah, I think that’s a friendship lesson I learned on my own alright. Great, now I gotta call off the bet and try to convince Yona not to fight. Dunno how I’m gonna do that one though.”

Wut? “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, uh, well, I just learned a friendship lesson on my own. Like, I just thought about it really hard and my chest started to hurt, so I guess that’s a sign. Look, Anon…” Smolder sighed as she began to apologize. “Sorry about all that, I guess I wasn’t thinking after all. You nor Yona should have your pride shattered over a silly bet or honor fight or anything like that. We gotta call this whole thing off.”

Oh, fuck that, you weren’t gonna chicken out of this one, not with something to prove. “Oh, I don’t think so. She wants to challenge me? Then I’ll take her on and prove that I’m better.”

“Anon, no, come on. Look, Yona is really sensitive, alright? And apparently so are you. She really wants to fit in at school, and has a hard time too due to being, I dunno, a yak? And I guess, since we all clicked so well, that I’d feel bad if she did lose. But considering how cool you are and how you kind of helped me even though you overdid it, well, I don’t want you to be hurt because you lost too. So, yeah, can we just call this whole thing off?” Smolder asked, really feeling the guilt build up within her.

“Nope! If she wants to prove she’s better than me, then let her. Just to let you know though, she isn’t actually going to prove it.” Because, again, unbeatable head.

“Come on!” Smolder raised her arms up, surprised as you. “I’m saying please here! Sheesh, you’re as stubborn as her. Maybe I really did make the wrong bet. Really, the only way to even salvage that one is to… Wait.” Smolder stopped herself, and then began to ponder. Were you really that strong? She couldn’t deny that despite her brother also being rather hard headed. You did indeed show him up on that front. She began to consider that you did have some chance of winning, and if that was the case, then… “Anon, look, ok, I get it. You got a really strong head, you proved that when you went against Garble. If you really think you could pull it off that much, and if you really still want to go through with it, could you at least try to make it a tie or something? That way nocreature gets hurt. Emotionally, I mean. I’ll even sweeten the deal.” And that last part she only brings up due to the pain of the guilt she felt. “If there’s anything you want, anything at all, for one time only, I’ll do it. How does that sound?”

Fuck that, what could this fucking dragon. This… Cute, er, adorable, hot… Well, she couldn’t do that… But. “So, if I, like, go easy on her, you’ll do something for me?”

Smolder was already being weirded out again, something about your sudden shifty smile you were giving her put her on edge. “Yeah? But, nothing weird, alright?”

Oh god, she had fucking hands, claws even. You look left and right for Diamond or Silver Spoon. You knew Diamond was with her father, but you still had to check. And when it comes to Silver, if she saw what you were about to ask, she’d rat you out in a second. “Ok, alright, I’ll do it.” You say as you hop back onto the bench, placing your horn on your head to make you and Smolder invisible to everyone but you and her, without her even noticing what was going on. This, you felt, would totally make sure you weren’t spotted or some rumor spread or whatever.

“Great! And woah, that was easy. So, uh, what do you want then?” Smolder asked.

You roll onto your back and expose your tummy to Smolder. “I want my tummy gently scratched.”

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, what?” Smolder looked around to see there was some ponies coming this way and passing by. There was, but they didn't seem to notice anything. But even then, that kind of request was super awkward to her. “Why?”

Oh god, did you really just ask for that?! OH GOD?! DID YOU REALLY WANT THIS?! YOU HAD TO HAVE THIS, JUST FUCKING ONCE! THIS WAS WORTH YOUR BATTLE PRIDE! DIAMOND, SHE HAD TO FORGIVE YOU IF SHE EVER FOUND OUT! “I just want to know what it feels like, that’s all. It’s a… I just heard somewhere dragon claws feel real nice on the belly. Like, it’s a therapy thing.”

“Yeah, but that still sounds really… Ugh, ok ok.” Smolder sighs. She thought this was really REALLY off. But if she was going to avoid another foul up, she just decided to suck it up and do it. As weird as it was, it didn’t seem outlandish or complicated. “Just don’t smack me if I accidentally scratch hard or something.” She reluctantly brought her claw down on your belly and began to gently and halfheartedly scratch along the sides of it in a circular fashion.

You begin to drool near immediately as you go limp, moaning softly as she massaged your tummy. Oh god, she was hitting everything just right! This feeling, it was the caress of gods, and it felt soooo good. You could go on like this fore- Wait, why did it suddenly stop? You look up, and you could already see Smolder walking away. “W-what? What just happened? Where are you going?”

“Gonna go get Yona, Silverstream, and Gallus, where else would I be going?” Smolder said as she opens her wings. “I get it, it looked really enjoyable and is probably a pony therapy thing. But, Anon? Yeah, a little too weird for me. But a whole minute of that was enough, right?”

IT WAS A MINUTE?! IT ONLY FELT LIKE 10 SECONDS! GYAAAAAH! Ugh, how were you going to argue when you lost track of time that bad? Ugh, you betrayed your sensibilities and your senses for essentially nothing, not to mention your honor. Ugh, well, as long as Diamond doesn’t find out. Although, now that you knew how it felt, maybe giving Diamond a ‘dragon claw’ that fits on the hoof doesn’t sound like a bad idea.“Y-yeah, it was… O-ok, and I’ll hold up my end of the deal. Let me just...” You say as you put on your horn, and make you and Smolder visible to all again. "Alright, that's that."

“Ok then, seeya later, Anon. Let’s never ever mention this to anycreature.” Smolder said as she flew off, still rather weirded out.

“Yeah…” Well, at least you learned something new. Dragon belly scratches are the shit. But god, at what cost? Why did you even just blurt that out?! Dammit, for years, many a pony fan wanted to be ponies and get belly rubs. It just sprung up! Diamond has no reason to be upset at a hidden desire! But oh god, did this lose you friendship points with Smolder?! Nah, no, that therapy explanation is legit. Yeah, Anon, you’re smooth as fuck. Ha ha…

And there you waited, on the side of the road, waiting ways away from the river as you awaited for the arrival of Smolder and her friends. Ugh, look at you, Anon, you actually gave up a clean victory for one minute of belly rubs. What was wrong with you? Diamond would have given you belly rubs for, like, a whole day if you asked. But nooooooooooooooooooooooo, you had to go and want to feel dragon scritchy scratches. Goddamn, you were such a fool.

Hmm? Suddenly you heard voices, you look forward and tilt your head, adjusting your ear ever so slightly. Ahead you could see Smolder, A blue griffon, and a very light purplish grey… Wait, is that the hippogriff? W-woah, she looked… Kinda adorable, and soft. Was that Silverstream? Yeah, she looked cuuuute! But what were they talking about? Hmmm…

Oh yeah, also there was the yak, huh, she was kinda adorable and soft looking for such a big animal. But goddamn that Silverstream. Mmm mmm

“I can’t believe it! I’m finally going to be able to meet the Hero Colt! MMMMMMMMMMM!” Silverstream was spiraling around in mid air in excitement. “I bet he’s even stronger and more powerful than the legends say!”

“Er, how is he a legend if he’s real? Silverstream, you do remember what’s actually going on here, right?” The blue griffon, who must have been this Gallus Smolder mentioned, said.

“Of course I do, I remember the bet.” Silverstream said rather cheerfully “If we see him, we all cheer! Just like I dreamed of”

“That’s not how… Ugh, oook then.” Gallus said with a heavy sigh. “Welp, the bet is a bust. I should have seen that coming. But Silverstream does bring up a good point, ‘if we see him’. You sure he’s around here, Smolder? Already kind of a risk abandoning our assignment. I really don't feel like having some sort of sit down or whatever.”

“He should be around here somewhere. And uh, don’t worry about the bet, it was kind of pointless anyway.” Smolder said, seeming rather confident, yet showing subtle hints of worry.

“Yeah, I guess. Truthfully? And I don’t want anycreature to laugh, but I was kind of enjoying saying hi to everycreature in town.” Gallus said, seeming a little defensive about it.

“Ooooohhh! Me too! Ponies are super duper nice, aren’t they? I already feel like a pony myself! Which I sorta am when I’m a seapony!” Silverstream said, feeling cheerful about the whole thing.

“Yeah, they sort of are. It’s a little weird too, even the foals here just kind of looked at me, smiled, and said I was strong and cool and stuff. It’s uh… Really different, especially when you compare it to Griffonstone.” Gallus explained, seeming even more subdued as he said it.

“Yona noticed, and Yona thinks ponies are all very nice. But Yona still have to face Anon, yak honor depend on it!” The yak, Yona, said, stomping her front hooves down. Woah, her stomp was so strong that even you felt it, it even knocked you out of balance. Christ, the fuck was up with that?!

“Wait, face Anon? As in fight?!” Silverstream suddenly hovered in front of Yona and waved her arms to stop her friends. “Yona, you can’t fight Anon, you’ll get really hurt! I know we haven’t known each other long, but you’re already one of my greatest friends! I can’t let you do this!”

“Relax, Yona not actually fight Anon to destruction. Yona only want to prove that any yak can head smash better than any pony.” Yona said as she sidestepped Silverstream. “No big deal, Yona make it quick.”

“Yeah, I hope it’s quick, we really gotta get back to town as fast as possible after this. Eheh, though, we could just call it a tie now and not worry about it, since the bet is off and all.” Smolder said, also trying to defuse the situation.

“Like Yona said, Yona will make it… Wait, who that down the road?” Yona said as she made an immediate stop, looking forward to see you.

“A colt? Huh, what is he doing way out here? Kind of dangerous to be alone out of town, isn’t it?” Gallus asked.

“Maybe he lost his mother! Guys, we have to help him! It’s what any good friend would do! And that is what we’re learning to be! Good friends!” Silverstream said, already ready to do anything she can to uh… save the day.

“Actually, that’s him. That’s Anon.” Smolder said as she pointed over to you.

“Uhhhhhhh, what?” Gallus said, visibly confused by what he was seeing and what he was hearing.

“Yona confused, Yona thought hero colt was big and strong, but he small, very small.” Yona said, also obviously confused by the whole thing as well.

“Yep, totally not comfortable with this. Look, even if that is actually him, we’ll be chased out of Equestria if we let Yona turn him to paste.” Gallus said, already feeling a giant mistake has been made.

“Yak honor very sacred, we will not fight helpless creatures, it is very wrong. No worries, Yona can see now she was right, so we can go back now. Little colt can ride Yona’s back so he doesn’t have to walk” Yona said, not willing to fight what she thought was a soft little colt.

Smolder just sighed in relief, glad a fight was avoided altogether. “Whew, that was close…” She said silently to herself.

“Smolder, i-is that really him, are you sure?" Silverstream asked, shaking, as if a huge amount of energy was building inside herself.

“Yep, we should go over and actu-Woah! Silverstream?! Wait!” Smolder said, as it seems her confirmation had sent Silverstream flying off like a rocket… WAIT WAIT, SHE WAS HEADING RIGHT TOWARDS YOU!

“Ohhh, shit, what’s going ASDFASDSA” You hadn’t actually heard most of what was going on, and you certainly didn’t expect to be rocket rushed by a gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…. “Gggmmmmmmmmmmmmm~” Suddenly, your thoughts and your speech enter a giant blur as you are snuggled onto the pillowy soft chest of this… adorable hippogriff. And oh god, she was giving you a gentle scratch on your head before twisting left and right with you in her snuggly grip.

“HE’S SO CUTE! HE’S SUPER CUTE! I’M SO GLAD HE DOESN’T LOOK LIKE OUR STATUE OF HIM BECAUSE HE IS SOOOOO MUCH CUTER THAN IT! I’M HUGGING THE HERO COLT! I’M REALLY HUGGING THE LEGENDARY HERO COLT!” Silverstream then held you up like a puppy, her eyes shimmering as she asked with a whisper. “Can I keep you?”

Oh god, Anon, you are stronger than this, you know exactly what to say! “Yes…” You whisper back… Welp, you’re a dumbass.

Smolder was the first to approach from behind the cuddling hippogriff, she could see you drooling, blushing red, and utterly lost. You looked exactly how you reacted when she scratched your belly. It was then, finally, that Smolder realized the truth. “Geez, Anon, don’t you think you should have some dignity? Don’t you have a marefriend or something? I remember your aunt mentioning something about that.”

“Oh, Smolder.” Silverstream said with a giggle as she continued her cuddling. “Did I really give that impression to him? Gosh, I’m really flattered, but..” Silverstream held you to eye level again as she cheerfully said “I only meant to keep you for a day, Anon. I want to learn everything about you, especially about how you beat the Storm King! You could even teach me about your horn if you want! I heard it can be used for a lot of things! Legends say it’s the best weapon ever!”

Anon, goddamn… HOLY SHIT! Smolder was on to you, goddammit, were you that obvious?! You gotta break this hold this hippogriff has on you, it’s not that hard! “Sure, I’ll totally teach you how I use my horn… haha”

“OH MY GOSH! DID EVERYCREATURE HEAR THAT?! WOOHOO! I GET TO LEARN ALL ABO-oops!” In all her excitement, Silverstream accidentally tosses you straight up, way up high. And in your stupor, you don’t even bother to adjust yourself, causing you to fall onto your head like so many times before. It does nothing to you, it doesn’t even break you out of your stupor. “Anon, are you ok?! I’m so so so so so sorry! Oh no, this isn’t going to cause a war, is it?” Silverstream asked, already beginning to feel a need to panic.

“Relax, Silverstream, I don’t even think he was hurt.” Smolder said as she approached you, to look you over and doubly make sure you were ok.

“Are you sure? That was a good toss.” Gallus said as he approached as well, looking you over. “I really can’t see it, this guy beat the infamous Sharpclaw? How?”

“Who Sharpclaw?” Yona asked, also approaching your twitching blushing body. "I thought he beat Storm King"

“I guess he did? But there was also this griffon thief with really sharp talons… That for some reason named himself Sharpclaw. Guy was really good at what he did but really bad with aliases. Anon was the guy who apparently took him down for good.” Gallus said “I even heard he went nuts and color blind at the same time after he got arrested, really weird stuff.”

And that, somehow, broke you out of your stupor as the memory of Sharpclaw came back to you. And that’s only because it was connected to those fucks, the Flim Flam brothers, two guys who, since your interdimensional adventure, trigger you just by name. You slowly get up from the ground and look to the blue griffon to set the record straight. “Actually, I took down Sharpclaw AND his two goons a long whiles back. Sheesh, those guys were small fries, how do you mention that and not explain my amazing win against the Storm King?”

“Uh, because Silverstream never stops about that.” Gallus, a little annoyed with your words, was also surprised about how easily you just got back up. “But… Woah, you look pretty ok. You do know you landed right on your head, right?”

“Anon, I’m really sorry about that! You won’t declare war on Mount Aris, will you?” Silverstream said, nearly biting at her own talons in fear of what you were going to say.

“It’s fine, trust me, it happens a lot. Which is why I heard a certain yak wanted to challenge me at a head smashing contest, that’d be you, right?” You say as you shoot a cool look to Yona.

“Yes, but as impressive as Anon falling on head and not getting hurt is, it’d be dishonorable to crush such small pony with powerful yak head.” Yona said, really no longer willing to fight due to how fragile you looked to her.

“Which, by the way, I’m actually ok with. Considering we really should be gett-” Smolder, who still felt guilty with her bet and wanting a fight between her friends, along with trailing off away from Ponyville and her assignment from Pinkie, gets interrupted by you as you look to Yona with determination. Oh no, hell no, even if you did agree to tie it, you weren’t going to let her think you were weaker than her.

“My head may look adorable and soft, but trust me, it’s more than enough to take you on. Take on any yak really. But I see, if you’re too scared, then I’m willing to let you go.” There we go, elegant but tempting. That should show her you mean business while still keeping your promise to Smolder… Who just brought her hand to her own face for some reason.

“Woah… This guy really does have guts. Or he’s just crazy.” Gallus said, rather impressed by the fact you’d just call out Yona like that.

“Well, from what I learned, Anon’s cutie mark is the mark of chaos! Isn’t that amazing!? It means he can do… OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Silverstream stopped herself once again when she realized you just insulted Yona. “Anon! You didn’t mean that, did you?! Yona is really nice, fun, sweet, and amazing!”

“I mean, I only meant it i-OOP!” And suddenly, Yona brought her head right to yours as she looked at you menacingly.

“Did Anon just insult Yona and entire yak tribe?” Yona asked you, in a rather threatening tone.

“Only if you aren’t willing to accept my challenge.” You say as you wink over at Smolder… Why did she not seem to be happy about this? Huh…

“Yona accept challenge! And Yona win! Go stand over there, Anon.” Yona points over to one side of the road as she begins to stomp to the other. Everyone but you hovers in the air to avoid the quakes caused by her stomping. Holy shit, you could barely get your goddamn footing. “When Yona count to three, we both run and smash heads. Winner is best yak left standing.” She says, with no hint of accepting that you could possibly beat her.

Sheesh, how were you even going to run towards her if her stomping caused you to bounce around like a football? C’mon, Anon, you had to do better than that. You may have to tie this thing due to a bet, but you weren’t going to let yourself lose either.

And then, Smolder suddenly hovered downwards towards you, seemingly annoyed about something. “Did you really have to egg her on about that, Anon?”

“What? What do you mean? I thought this was part of the whole bet thing. Remember? We agreed to that?” You remind her.

“Yes, but… Anon, we could have just walked away- Guh…” She could see it in your face, no matter how she explained it to you, this fight would have happened anyway not just due to the agreement, but because you also wanted to prove your worth. “Nevermind, look, just don’t get hurt out there, ok? And don’t hurt Yona either. Also, I gotta ask you something before this whole thing starts.”

Wut? “What’s that?”

“So, are you just like, girl crazy? Or does that whole affection thing your aunt mentioned really run that deep? Because, y’know, you do got a marefriend, don’t you?” Smolder asked you, wondering what the fuck was up with you. Especially when it came to the belly scratches and Silverstream’s affection.

Fuck! SHE REALLY DID CATCH ON! OH GOD, IF SHE THOUGHT YOU WERE A PERVERT… WHAT IF SHE TOLD FLUTTERSHY OR DIAMOND?! THE SHAME! Not to mention Discord fucking you over if Fluttershy did find out, yeesh. “E-erm, well, she said it herself, right? I just have a huge weakness for it, that's all. I-I just really like being cuddled... But er, trust me, I'm super loyal to my Diamond, yuppers, totally.” Fucking dammit, you were a male! You had needs! She'll never understand!

Smolder just raised an eyebrow at you, only half believing your words, but not wanting to get further into it due to Yona seemingly already ready to throw down. “Uh huh… Ok, whatever. Look, just try to make sure nocreature gets hurt, ok? Silverstream looks like she’s about to fall apart as is over there.”

“It’ll be fine, I promise, I got this.” Just a tie, Anon, remember that. It shouldn’t be that hard anyway, you were amazing at shit like this. You wanted to win, sure, but… Man, you wouldn’t want to upset your seemingly biggest fan, now would you?

And so you stood at one end of the road as Yona stood at the other, both of you facing each other down as Smolder stood at the center. Your plan was simple, just stop and hold your head out, and everything should work out. It didn’t matter how big or bad this yak was, your head was invincible and capable of smashing everything in it's path. By standing still, the full force of your power wouldn’t decimate her.

Gallus and Silverstream stood at the sidelines, watching, nervous. Silverstream in particular looked rather worried, torn between seeing the hero colt work his magic, not wanting to see her new friends fight, and very hoping Yona doesn’t get slaughtered.

“Alright, so the rules are this. One head smash, that’s it, because we really should be heading back to town. Loser is decided by whoever gets pushed the farthest or gets knocked down first. Yona, are you ready?” Smolder said as she looked over to her yak friend.

“Yona always ready. Yona keep head very low to make sure she doesn’t accidentally smash colt.” Yona said with hesitant confidence. She truly was ready to win, but she did worry about hurting you. Just looking at your adorable form, she felt guilt having to crush you at a contest, and would feel even worse if she accidentally smashed you.

“Alright. Yo, Anon, are you ready? And I mean, like, really ready?” Smolder asked, wanting to make absolutely sure you were ready to pull whatever you were going to pull.

“I’m ready, just give the signal. Trust me.” You give a knock on your head to demonstrate how tough it was. “I got this.”

“Alright then, ok…” Smolder took a huge breath before hovering upwards, then exhaled as smoke began to lightly flow out of her mouth and nose. “Ready? Set… GO!” And with that, she lets out a good sized flame into the air to signify both you and Yona to run at each other.

And you both were off, rushing at each other at a reckless pace, both yelling out a battle cry as you both came ever closer to each other. Silverstream covered her eyes as the time came near. But you? You were smart, right before you and Yona meet, you stop and stretch your head out, aiming your forehead at Yona. This was the time, this was it. She’d collide and fall back, and due to whatever force she’s coming at, you’ll slide back and that’s it. It’ll be a tie. You close your eyes and brace yourself.

You then feel it, the collision. It does feel like someone slapped your head, but that was about it. You also didn’t hear anything out of Yona after impact. Was she dizzy? Or did she knock herself out? So, does that mean you win? You open your eyes to see... Everything moving forward? Now that was odd, why would everything be moving forward? You look down and noticed you were flying backward at a high velocity. Huh, that isn’t good at all. How the fsfGFDGADFDFS.

And that was it, you were sent flying harmlessly, backwards, into a tree. Though that part did cause harm, because now you were fucking stuck and you fucking knew you had splinters.

“Yona, Yona are you ok?” Gallus said as he snapped his talons in front of her. “Wow, she actually got knocked out. So…” Gallus looked to Smolder and sighed, “When do we get out of town? Before or after we get expelled and chased out?”

“We can’t just leave! Yona needs our help! And… Wait, where did…” Silverstream looked around, and spotted you. She pointed towards your direction, worried about your condition. “Oh no! Anon needs our help too! We cannot leave until we’ve helped Yona and Anon! Now… How do we do that?”

“I think Yona will get up on her own. But Anon? Yeeeeah, he really got sent flying. I don’t think either of them are really hurt though, so I guess it’s a tie. Anon got sent flying, and Yona got knocked out. Let’s just get Anon out of that tree and everything should be fine. I hope…” Smolder did show a hint of worry, sure. But she was hoping, very hoping, things really were fine. And that things would be fine when she explains to Yona that it was a tie. Because as it is now, the entire situation seemed volatile. She hovered over to you as Gallus and Silverstream followed. “Anon, yo, Anon! Are you ok? How’s your head?”

“Perfectly fine, but I think I’m stuck.” You say as you struggle to try to get out of the tree. “Um, uh, so what’s the ruling?”

Smolder sighed in relief, you really did seem fine. “Gonna say it’s a tie. Hopefully Yona will accept that and OH NO! THAT ISN’T GOOD!” Smolder yelled out in horrified surprise as she looked over to your backside.

“Smolder, what’s up OH WE’RE DEAD!” Gallus, also seemingly freaked out, shouts in fright as he looks over to see what Smolder is looking at.

“What the? What are you guys getting freaked out about back there?” You asked, trying to look back the best you can, but being unable to see anything, you could only guess that maybe there was a monster nearby. “There isn’t something about to attack us, is there?”

“Hmm? Oh no, it isn’t that at all.” Silverstream said in a little giggle. “I think everycreature is upset because there’s a lot of splinters sticking out.”

Huh, funny, you didn’t even really feel it. If you had to guess, that head bash, with all its power, must have rattled your brain hard enough to disable your pain receptors. Actually, that sounds pretty bullshit and makes no sense, but whatever, chaos. “That doesn’t sound so bad, I barely even feel it. I can probably fix that up real quick. Let me just… Ngh! OOF, never mind! Sudden major pain! Holy! Gyah! Why does it hurt so bad?!” Holy shit, you suddenly felt a sudden spike in pain. Like, oh god, it hurt!

“Oh, that might be from the bone that’s sticking out of your leg. Is that bad?” Silverstream asked once again, staring at it. “It’s so weird, it’s just sticking out, like it was out of place or something. Isn’t that silly? I think it’s silly.”

OH, YOUR BONE WAS STICKING OUT?! HAHA! HOW SILLY INDEED! HAHAAAAA! IT HURT LIKE FUCK!

“We just ended up breaking the hero colt’s leg. We are way past doomed here, how do we even fix this?! We aren’t doctors!” Gallus said, gulping hard as the situation just seemed more grim. "What're we gonna do?"

“Oh, that’s easy. According to Professor Fluttershy, Anon is not only capable of amazing things, but also impossible things! This kind of problem can be easily fixed if we just…” Silverstream grabbed your horn as you whimpered and looked around in a panic, and placed it on your forehead. “There we go! Get ready, everycreature! We’re about to see something that is just AWESOMEEEE!”

You didn’t even really realize what was going on. But with the horn on your head, you suddenly stopped feeling pain as the need to puke suddenly hit you. You coughed, spit up, and then finally, your entire bone structure fell out of your mouth. Smolder and Gallus screamed like no tomorrow, Silverstream just watched, still enamored by the whole thing.

You, however, still didn’t realize what was going on. As a skeleton pony, you just stand up, and brush yourself off. “Wow, woah, good thinking there, Silverstream. I don’t know what you did, but it worked like a char-why are you guys looking at me like that?” You ask as you turn around, to see Smolder and Gallus just standing there, frozen in fright. “You guys look white as a ghost.”

“Anon, look at you! How is this even possible?! What is going on?!” Smolder just couldn’t believe it. Turning into a dragon and throwing mail was one thing. But even she couldn’t understand what this was all about.

“Oh, I can explain that too. According to Professor Fluttershy, Anon can use his chaos magic to do almost anything he wants. Chaos itself is the opposite of harmony, and is capable of transformations and mutations , even when it comes to the healing process. Obviously Anon came out as a skeleton to fix his bones and put it all back in their proper places. This is why the hero colt is so cool, and this is why the Storm King had no chance of winning! I’m so happy I get to witness his power in action! Sooooooo cooool!” Silverstream said with a giddiness that confounded her friends. “I bet this was actually Anon’s plan all along! He’s so great!”

Holy hell, you really had to be careful around this chick. She seemed just as into you as Diamond is, but in a fangirl type of way. “Y-yeah, totally. Erm, let me just, click myself back in place.” You look at your bony self, and god, it looked goddamn spooky. Though, it did make it super easy to pop all your bones back into place. Crisis averted.

Gallus, so befuddled by it all, immediately calms down and just looks to Silverstream in a stoic confusion. “So, wait, let me get this straight. This doesn’t freak you out at all? This is normal?”

“For Anon, it is! My cousin told me all about it. What I don’t get is why you both are so scared. This is nothing compared to the Storm King. Now he was scary.” Silverstream said. She was seriously, just seriously, ok with all of this.

“Ooook then, I don’t even know how to feel about this anymore. So are we doomed? Are we dreaming? What’s going on here?” Gallus was more than confused now, everything was becoming more bizarre by the minute for him.

“I think I actually get it. It’ll be ok…” Smolder says, letting out a giant sigh of relief. “Anon is ok. He’s just using his magic to heal, that’s all. I’ve seen him do weird stuff like this before, so it’s kinda normal in a way. His way, anyway.”

“So this really is all normal? No wonder Sharpclaw went nuts, I can’t even imagine what he did to him.” Gallus commented, slowly calming down as the nonsense began to actually make sense to him. “Can’t even imagine what he did to this Storm King guy everycreature talks about.”

Smolder was thinking to herself, hearing and having to process all this, she was now damned glad that you went much easier on Garble than what you apparently could do at full power. “Yeah… So, Anon, if everything is fine, how are you going to get back in your body? Is it really that simple?”

“Should be, erm, never been a skeleton before. I guess I just grab my sk-OH MY WHAT?!” You look over to your skin and your eyeballs were literally hanging out as everything else looked like a hollowed out, nightmare fueled, and totally 'not cute in anyway' corpse. “Ooogh, I didn’t need to see that, geez.”

“See wh-ohhhhh...mnng, I gotta go!” Gallus, upon going to check around the tree, noticed what you were looking at and nearly lost it as he suddenly flew off to puke somewhere in privacy.

“Do I want to look what you both just looked at?” Smolder asked, feeling on edge.

“U-uh, no… Let me just, look, just look away.” Oh god, even with your skelly self, you could feel your skin. Gross, you slowly and gently popped your eyes back in, then slowly started to slide yourself into your skin through the mouth. When it was all over, you were finally back to normal, albeit still a splinter pin cushion and feeling irked about it all. You began to blink, blink again, and then shiver at the thought of what just happened. “E-everything is fine, just gotta remind myself to never ever do that again. I really hope I didn’t get infected, like, in my entire body.”

“Anon! That was so cool! Look! Not only are you as good as new, but you even woke up Yona! How amazing is that?!” Silverstream said as she pointed to the yak, who was woozily standing up and trying to figure out what happened. You didn't actually wake up Yona, but it was kinda good she wasn't awake for this. Her stomps already shook up the place and you didn't need a freaked out Yak leveling have the road.

“I’ll go talk to her, make sure she knows what’s up. Just keep an eye out for Gallus, ok? He wasn't looking too good after… That.” Smolder said as she hovered off to check on Yona, she was glad she had not seen what Gallus and you had seen. If it was enough to even freak you out, then she didn't even try to guess what it was that caused it.

At this point, you were already using your magic again to painlessly pluck the splinters off the lower part of your body. “Sheesh, even if this was all a tie, this is embarrassing. How did I not notice I was being sent back?” Ugh, you really couldn’t figure it out.

“Well, you did close your eyes. Yona is really big and strong, so it makes sense to me. But, wow, I got to see that even having his bones broken doesn’t stop the hero colt!” She suddenly reaches out for you and starts cuddling onto you once again. “I’m going to write a letter to my brother, my aunt, my cousin, and… No, to every creature back in Seaquestria and Mount Aris! You’re not just a legend, you’re really real! And sooo snuggly! You have to show me how you beat the Storm King sometime! It’s one thing to hear about it, it’s another to see it! I bet it’s so super incredible too, ooohhhhh, I feel so excited right now! Everything worked out oooookkkk!”

Nope, this felt too good. You were dead. If you had to go to school and deal with this, then you knew eventually Diamond would see something like this and actually slice you in two with an axe.

“So, Yona, you’re not really mad about me knocking you out?” You asked.

Things were calm now, you all decided to take a rest by the river to cool off and relax for a moment. Yona was still mostly in the dark about what happened after she conked out, Gallus had returned and wanted nothing else to do with anything else that was extra freaky, Smolder was glad everything had calmed down, and you and Silverstream? You had allowed her to cuddle you close to her chest as you sat down in front of her. It was risky, but you managed to subdue your libido thanks to the fact that Silverstream really wasn’t in love with you at all. She respected you, but also found you too adorable not to snuggle with, and just being close was a huge honor for her. How could you not let her snuggle with her hero?

“Only if Anon not mad Yona sent him into tree. Yona impressed as Yona thought tough hero colt head was only bad rumor.” Yona said, rather pleased about the whole thing as she dabbed her hoof in the water. “Yak honor not tarnished by a tie, so it’ll be ok.” Yona then turned her head to Gallus, feeling confused about something. “But Yona also don’t understand why Gallus looks green, Yona didn’t know griffons could change color.”

Every one of you just kind of look away, as his reason, aside for Silverstream, made you all feel rather squeamish in some way. Finally Gallus just said in a calm but slightly nervous fashion. “I, uh, just feel a little sick, that’s all. I don’t complain about it though, we griffons are tougher than that.”

“That good, Yona was worried something was really wrong. But now Yona want to know how Anon get such strong head, Yona just don’t understand and want to know so Yona can get stronger too!” It seems she was really eager to learn your awesome technique of… Wait, you don’t even train your head. You just kinda fall on it a lot. Egh, was that it? How pathetic.

“Oh, er, I just smash it into things.” You chuckle, obviously not being fully truthful “Works out great for me.”

“Huh, Yona confused. Yaks smash all the time… Oh wait, maybe that it, ponies don’t smash all the time, so Anon get strong head by training like yak.” Yona nods, satisfied with that conclusion. “Yona feel good about this, as it shows yak method is best method for head smashing. Yona now understands how Anon got so strong.”

W-wut?! That’s bullshit, your method of… Ok, again, let’s not admit the truth on how your head got so damn hard. “Oh, uh, yep. Yak method is best method. Ahagmmmm!” Suddenly, you soften up again as Silverstream snuggles you close, swaying from side to side.

“This is why Anon is legendary! Not only is he a master of chaos magic, but he trains in the arts of other creatures! Guys, we gotta get Headmare Twilight to make a class about Anon! He’s already like an element… Um, a seventh element of harmony!” Silverstream said, fangasming once more.

“Uhhh. I don’t know.” Smolder contested “Anon is pretty cool, but I wouldn’t say a whole class based around him would be a good idea. What element would he be? What would we even learn?”

“Egh, if it’s anything like today, it’d be how to lose your lunch in two seconds.” Gallus said, relaxed, but obviously not ok with anything having to do with actually learning about you. It seems today, and what he knew of the aftermath of you thrashing Sharpclaw during Nightmare Night, made him believe the class would be more maddening than insightful.

“Hmph.” The hell were they talking about? There’s a lot to learn about you! Hell, fuck the Storm King, you saved an entire world before and befriended one of Equestria’s ultimate evils. Not to mention preventing Starlight from even coming close to either using your horn to warp Equestria or letting her pull off her original plan using time shenanigans. Seventh element? You’d be the element of getting shit done! You hop away from Silverstream, and look to the group, determined to justify Silverstream’s words. “I actually think Silverstream has a good point.” Hell, this could be the class you could teach, Professor Anon. “Not tooting my own horn here, but with my magic, I could make lessons about myself wicked cool. I’d be able to teach you guys about all my victories, and teach everycreature how to be as heroic as I am.”

“Uh, look, I don’t want to sound insulting or anything. But considering how it looks like you get your victories, I’d never end up signing up for that class.” Yeah, Gallus really wasn’t up for it.

“I’m with Gallus. Plus, I’d rather hang out with you than you be my teacher. Could you even imagine how awkward it would be? Everycreature would accuse us of cheating since we’re already friends. Not that I mind, but you know what I mean. Also, it's pretty narcissistic for you to teach a class about yourself, just saying” Smolder added.

“Yona is fine too, Yona just want to learn about friendship.” Yona also added.

“Thinking about it now, I guess I already know everything I need to know about you, Anon. Plus, I got to hug you too! I already feel like maybe I already learned everything I need to know. Being a hero sounds reaaaaallllyyyy great though! Maybe…” And then suddenly, the ever cheerful hippogriff suddenly frowned as she began to nervously rub at her arm. “Maybe I would have been able to stop the Storm King myself… I dunno, erm, maybe?” Suddenly, she just shivered and looked down, not looking anyone in the eye. “Although, if I messed up, then everycreature would have been gone. So maybe, learning to be a hero is a bad idea.”

“Silverstream? Why you sad? Yona didn’t think it was bad idea, Yona even think you can be great hero!” Yona said, trying to cheer up her friend. “Yona would help too, Yona would show evil Storm King how yaks smash!”

“Yeah, I’d help too. C’mon Silverstream, that guy can’t be that big a deal. And even if he was.” Smolder made a fist as she gave Silverstream a confident smile. “I doubt the guy could take us on. Yona could throw him off balance, knock him down, and I could cook him up! Then you could lay down the final blow on that creep! We could even be a team if we got Sandbar and Ocellus to help, then we’d be unstoppable! Isn’t that right, Gallus?”

“What?! Why would we… Ugh, ok, I guess I’d help too. Every team needs a griffon, especially you guys. We know every dirty trick in the book, so I could definitely tell you if something was off.” Gallus said, joining in on the pep talk the moment he really noticed how Silverstream looked. Whatever it was, it really seemed the Storm King had caused her some sort of trauma. Hmmm…

“Awww… You guys…” Silverstream slowly began to smile, then began to cry as she rushed her friends for a big group hug. “You guys are the most amazing friends any hippogriff could ever have! I’m so glad I came here, I’m so happy! You guys are more amazing than stairs, castles, and hayburgers put together!” She just snuggled onto them, none of them even the least bit uncomfortable about it, it was a heartwarming sight to see.

These guys needed to learn friendship? Fuck, it looked like they were already good at it. What the hell could they possibly learn from Twilight’s school? Hell, what could you even learn? Once again, the entire concept was looking pretty stupid to you. But not wanting to ruin the moment, you try to offer some encouraging words yourself. “Tch, it looks like you guys became the best of friends real quick. I bet Headmare Twilight would have had you skip a grade or given you a diploma or however she does things, I dunno, but you get what I mean.”

“You re-OH NO! HEADMARE TWILIGHT! THE LESSON! PROFESSOR PINKIE!” Silverstream flew up in a panic and began to wave her arms about “Everycreature, we gotta get back to town and finish saying hi to everypony before we get in trouble for not doing that!”

“H-hey, relax, Silverstream. Hmm, but you’re right, ah well…” Smolder let out a content sigh as she took a stretch and looked back down the path. “This was all pretty cool, but I bet even Ocellus and Sandbar noticed we’re not in town.”

Gallus hovered upwards, ready to fly back. “Eh, I’ve been kinda ready to go back. Also, if you’re worried about them telling anycreature where we went, then don’t. They’re pretty cool about these kinds of things… I think?”

“No, Yona think Gallus is right. Sandbar and Ocellus are very very nice. We safe.” Yona adds

“Oh, then I guess I sort of freaked out over nothing. Oh! Anon, do you want to come with us to say hi to everycreature? I know you know Ocellus, but you’d get to meet Sandbar! I think you’ll really like him!” Silverstream said, really hoping you’d say yes.

“Actually…” Silverstream was rather touchy touchy, and being seen in town in such a way would probably cause some rumors to spread that you don’t need at the moment. Plus, you had a job to do, you had to go see Twilight and tell her the news. She was really gonna sperg, but better to tell her than to just hide it. “I sort of have something important to do. But I’ll be a student day after tomorrow, so it’ll all be good.”

“Yeah! That’s right! Professor Fluttershy had mentioned that too! I’m so excited for that! I mean, I don’t know why the hero colt would also need to go to friendship school, but I’m still super excited about it! Yeah!” Silverstream flew down and gave you a gentle little hug. “I’ll see you later, Anon. Whatever is super important, I hope it really works out for you!”

Ngh… If she knew you were helping a known villain who could be seen as an equal to the Storm King, then she’d probably change her mind on that. Whatever, it’ll be fine. “Thanks, and you… All of you, I really hope you all like it here.”

And with that, you all said your goodbyes. Smolder, however, lingered for another moment, approaching you once more before leaving. “Hey, Anon, before I go. I gotta ask you something.”

Hmm? “Yeah, what’s up, Smolder?”

“Look, this talk about you stopping villains and all that? It made me wonder about something Ocellus had talked to me about. You remember, right? That bug queen she used to listen to?” Oh no, you remember she had wanted to ask you about that. Ugh, ok, how much did she know then?

“Yeah, I remember, er, what about it?” You ask.

“Just seems weird, y’know? She told me not to tell anycreature, and that if I wanted to know more about it, that I should ask you. I don’t know why she’d tell me that, I guess she was worried about what I’d think if she told me more. Anyway, what she told me about you two is that you guys actually talked to each other. What was all that about? I would have thought you’d cream her or something.” Smolder really did seem interested in this for some reason. But why would Ocellus just randomly tell her?! You had to know that before you even had this conversation.

“Um, well, before I even say anything about that. Er, could you tell me why Ocellus would even tell you about it? Seems weird considering you guys only knew each other for a day.” Whatever reasoning it was, it better be good.

“We had a lot of time to talk before classes actually started. I dunno, we just kind of clicked since we both knew you. It’s kind of funny though, I asked her the same question. She said she just wanted somecreature to talk to about it that wasn’t another changeling, that also knew you, and didn’t mind too much about bad stuff. Given I’m a dragon, bad stuff doesn’t really bother me. If it’s that big a secret, then I can keep it safe since you’ve been keeping mine pretty good. So, wanna let me in on it? You don’t really have to, but I kind of want to know, seems pretty juicy.” Smolder said, ready to listen to what you had to say.

“Uh, but uh…” Goddammit, fucking bugs, you swear to god. Can’t keep a secret worth shit despite being so secretive. “Don’t you gotta go back to town?”

“Yeah… But now this just started nagging me and I just want to know what’s up. You don’t have to give me ALL the details, just tell me enough and I’ll ask Ocellus for the rest. I’m pretty sure she’ll be comfortable enough to give me the whole story if you’re willing to tell me enough of what was going down with you and, Chrysalis, I think she said her name was? Yeah, I think that’s it.” Smolder said. Really curious about the relationship between you and Chrysalis.

This really was uncomfortable, but what were you going to do? You know how these things go, if you don’t give her something then she’ll probably do something that will make the situation worse. “Fine, fine, ok. Look, Me and Chrysalis ended up being roommates thanks to my Dad’s magic. Before you say anything, yes, it sounds weird, but that’s how things are.”

“I wasn’t gonna say anything. I already know everything about you is really weird. So, uh, just keep going. I want to know how this went, considering she was supposed to be really evil.” Smolder said, unphased by anything thus far.

“Oh, uh... Hmm. Anyway, her, her hive, and me pretty much hung out every once and awhile. But when it came to me and her specifically, we basically tried to get one another to see why we should follow a certain path, good and evil basically. Chrysalis and I became friends this way, we had a lot in common, and had an understanding on a bunch of things. We shared a lot of laughs, we even saved another universe together. Everything was good until her hive, including Ocellus, just turned sides.” You look over to Smolder, and still noticed she was unphased. “And that’s the short version. None of that bothers you at all? That I was friends with a big time villain?”

Smolder shrugged “I dunno, I don’t even really know her, just that she was bad. Anon, I’m a dragon, a lot of us did a whole bunch of really bad stuff until Princess Ember turned things around. Even I did stuff I wasn’t proud of. So uh, y’know, whatever, I was just curious about it since Ocellus really doesn’t strike me as the…” Smolder raised her claws and made a malicious face “RAWR, EVIL MAWHAHAHAHA! Ha… Ok, that was dorky. But you get what I mean. Sounds like Chrysalis needs to take friendship classes more than Ocellus does, but whatevs, it sounds like you’re still trying to help her. So, that true? Are you trying to help her?”

Huh, never mind, you expected a freakout or some sort of lecture on how you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing. Then again, Smolder was a dragon, and a young one at that, something you should have considered. “Uh, yeah. She’s my friend, y’know? Everypony thinks I’m still obsessed with it, but really, I just don’t want to see her do something that… I dunno, might get her sent to Tartarus… Or worse. It’s complicated, the friendship I mean. But really, if any of my friends ended up in a really bad situation, I’d be there to help them out.” That’s true, isn’t it? You helped Starlight keep things together.

“Heh, I guess that’s why you’re the hero colt then.” Smolder said with an honest yet condescending chuckle as she goes over to pat your head. “Well, I can say this, you’ve already shown me that you’re an awesome friend. So it's even more awesome you’re willing to look past all that bad stuff to try to help that evil queen. Well, Anon, I’ll tell you what. If you even need my help, you come looking for me, ok?”

Well damn, really? That’s so damn awesome! “Yeah, sure! Thanks, Smolder, that really means a lot.”

“Heh, I’d probably charge you a gem or two every now and then, but I think you already got me enough of them to last you a million favors.” Smolder says with a chuckle.

Oh really? You shoot her a cute look at shift your eyebrows at her. “Or are you just giving me freebies because we’re already such good friends?”

Smolder just looks stoically at you as she points “Don’t push your luck. Dragons don’t really do freebies” She then shoots you a smirk of her own. “But if you want me to, I could just say that you owe me for all the time I had to spend with helping my brother heal up after what you did to him.”

“Woah, woah, ok ok. I get it. Anyway, you better get going before somecreature notices you’re gone.” You say with a wink.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Well, seeya around, Anon. Oh, and you need more calcium in your diet. Just saying.” Smolder says with a giggle as she flies off.

“Seeya… HEY WAIT! WHAT’S THAT SUPPO-bah, she’s gone.” Did she just imply your bones looked brittle or something? She better be joking, goddamn, she better be joking. You are not brittle! Why does that upset you so much?! Fuck this, gotta go see Twilight. Hopefully she’s still in the mindset of that promise, because this will be a doozy.

You teleported yourself in front of Twilight’s doors as you contemplated the last moments you just had. You realized a few things: From the fact your body is nowhere near as sturdy as your head, to the fact Smolder was kind of shaping up to be as cool a friend as Scootaloo, perhaps even more so in that regard. And then there was this business with Chrysalis, and also why the fuck is Twilight’s school so damn glamorous? Like fucking hell, forget about everything else, the entrance had fucking waterfalls and watery steps and a little bridge and all that shit, how much did it fucking cost to build this fucking place? Wait, Anon, don’t go down this line of thinking. You have to focus… And not on hippogriffs, don’t do that either.

Actually, maybe you should take this news to Starlight first. She was basically Twilight Two, cared about your well being, and was more your friend than she was. Then again, Starlight seems to trust the situation less than Twilight does, which is fucking amazing when you think about it. Then again, your thoughts are broken when you hear the familiar ring of your codec. Discord?

“Discord? What’s up man? Sorta busy.” You tell him

“‘Sorta busy?’ Anon, I hope you’re not serious. I have the whole explanation about my essence whipped up and ready to go. What could you be doing right now that is more important than that?” Woo, Discord sounded pretty annoyed. About what? That? You didn’t need to know that shit, you were perfectly capable of handling yourself without it.

“Dude, I need to talk to Twilight about Chrysalis andFSDDSA” Suddenly, you are blown away as Discord appears in front of you in a grand yet very silent explosion.

“Pardon me…” Discord said as he magically pulls a popcorn bag out of a conjured floating microwave. “But did I just hear you were going to talk to Twilight about Chryssy? And you didn’t invite me? For shame, Anon, I’m sure we’ve talked about something like this before.”

Goddammit, you should have kept your mouth shut on this one. “Because I could tell this wasn’t gonna be something you’d help me with. Dammit, Discord! This is a really delicate situation, ok? Unless you’re legit going to help me, you can fuck right off, I don’t need your bullshit right now. I’m this close, THIS CLOSE, to finally fixing everything.”

“Ah yes, your ever grand delusion, how could I forget.” Discord says with a snicker before slithering around you and petting your head. “But fret not, Anon, it’s not like I need to make my presence known. I’ll be right out of sight if you just allow me to have a front row seat to the chaos that is about to ensue.”

You roll your eyes at him, what a crock of shit. “If I say no, you’ll just make things worse for me? Is that it? Because I know you won’t just accept me saying no.”

Discord slithers away from you, hovering above you as he just randomly starts to shave his popcorn. “Considering how far our relationship has come, I find it rather surprising you’d think telling me no would make things worse for you, when in fact I’d just do what I do anyway and watch from afar as Twilight’s mind melts from whatever you’re about to tell her. To put it simply, Anon, I’m not here to help or hinder you.” Discord pulls up a lawn chair and lays down to relax as he makes a soda appear with his popcorn. “I’m just here to enjoy the show, that’s all.”

Hmph, telling him no usually does make things worse, no matter how far the relationship has come. Though on the flipside, he has helped you countless times before just on a whim. But this one time, you needed to do this on your own. “Ok then, fine, you can watch and get your jollies. But please, let me just have this one, ok?”

“Yes, Anon, I said I would.” Discord said with an eye roll as he poofed away, his voice still echoing around. “Don’t know why you’re being this antagonistic to me though, especially considering all the fun you’ve been having with the power of chaos. Children these days, sooooo unappreciative. Oh, and on that note, we really should talk about your changeling friend too.”

“Yeah, maybe I… Discord? Yo, Discord? Bah, he’s gone, or just not answering. Ugh, totally forgot about the XX-Captain. Wonder how he’s even passing the time. Hmm, whatever.” You look towards Twilight’s door and try to focus on your objective. “Remember Anon, you are close. And don’t take any of Twilight’s shit either. Because, er, y’know, if Starswirl told you do not take Celestia’s shit, then that surely applies to Twilight as well. And…” You stop your speech as you blink blankly, then bring your hoof to your face.

“Y’know, Anon, I don’t mean to butt in, considering I’m supposed to have disappeared and all, but you do realize spouting exposition is a nasty habit, right? I don’t even mean to sound naggy about it, it’s just a thought you might want to consider.” Discord’s voice rang out with an echo.

You just stood there, grumbling. Who is he to talk? Can’t even fucking stop rambling to nothing whenever something doesn’t go his way. Anyway, enough of that. You slowly open the doors to Twilight’s office and step inside. Twilight herself seemed to be in a good mood, she was looking over some papers as Spike stood to her side, taking notes. “I really can’t believe how well this is going so far, Spike. No trouble, no complaints, and Chancellor Neighsay hasn’t had anything to say.”

“Well, that’s because he hasn’t shown up yet. But yeah, everycreature seems pretty happy with the classes so far. You sure it was ok to let Pinkie go ahead with today’s lesson though? I mean, usually it’d be fine, but that Neighsay guy might have a fit if he sees students just walking around town during school hours.” Spike said, obviously worried over the situation.

“It’ll be alright no matter what. And even if he does have something to say…” Twilight walks over to her window, and looks through it, to look towards town, a confident smile on her face. “Then I’ll just tell him that once upon a time, a unicorn showed up in this very town, disinterested in friendship. And-” But before Twilight could finish, Spike interrupted her.

“Let me stop you right there, Twilight. Chancellor Creepoid will probably only agree to your origin story because you’re a pony. Remember, this guy seems to have a chip on his shoulder about everycreature else, so he’ll probably just end up saying something mean about them.” Spike walked over to the window to stand by Twilight, staring out with her. “And I don’t know if we can trust this whole experiment thing either. The guy seemed TOO ok with letting you go against EEA regulation stuff. Makes me wonder if he doesn’t have some sort of spy wandering around, waiting for you to slip up.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. That’s exactly what he had, in you. B-but, y’know, that doesn’t mean much now. Y-you like the students here so far, and Neighsay hasn’t tried contacting you in a while. S-so, y’know, it’s not like it’s that bad. Whatever, you had more pressing matters at hand. The whole Neighsay thing could be dealt with when and if he tries to talk to you again. You clear your throat, then make yourself known. “Heya Twilight, Spike, what’s up? How’s the second day of friendship school coming along?”

“Anon? Oh, ahrm…” Spike was surprised to just see you there. He looked over to the doors and could see they had been opened. He figured he just missed it due to his discussion with Twilight. “Goin’ great! It’s goin’ super great actually. No hiccups or anything. Of course, that is thanks to Twilight and the elements of harmony, plus your good ole pal, Spike.”

“He’s right, Um… But, what are you doing here, Anon?” Seemed Twilight didn’t want to just throw out mindless approvals of the going ons of her school, as she seemed more interested in your presence. At first, she seemed suspicious of you, but then she smiled, calming herself as she greeted you more properly. “Actually, I apologize, what I meant to say is good afternoon, Anon. What can I do for you?”

Oh yeah, real smooth there, Twilight. Oh well, it’s do or die time. “I actually came to talk to you about Chrysalis, Twilight. I uh, I made contact with her. And we had a talk about reforming and stuff. And well, the news I got is… Well…”

“It’s the ‘there’s good news and there’s bad news’ type of news, ain’t it? Oh boy, Twilight, Uh…” Spike looked over to her, already ready to try to keep her calm and even get your back on this. While also at the ready to defend Twilight should you take things too far yourself. “Let’s keep it together, ok? This could be more good than bad, y’know?”

Twilight nodded, remaining patient and calm as she replied to Spike. “I know, Spike. And I still have a promise to keep. But not only that, but I’ve come to learn that overreacting to things like this doesn’t help the situation at all. Anon has been hassled too much over this already, and I’m ready for the good and the bad news. So go ahead, Anon, tell me.”

Ohhhh, what is this then? Her being calm about Chrysalis? Well, crikey, you had to just silently look at her for a moment or two just to make sure. Yep, she seemed pretty ready for this. Ok then. “Well, let’s go with the good news first. And trust me, it’s really good! Chrysalis has agreed to try to reform and to let us help her.”

Twilight suddenly became giddy, enough to teleport in front of you and grab you in a hug, acting celebratory over it all. “Anon! That is amazing news! I knew you could do it! Do you know what this means?!”

Geez! It wasn’t that her grip was tight, no, it was just right with cuddles and niceness. But goddamn, what got her so excited? And what the fuck did she mean she knew?! “W-wait, when did you even think I could do this?”

“Last night, she practically beat herself over the head with a book trying to believe you could do it. I already knew you could, but uh, I know it can’t be that easy. So, what’s the bad news, Anon?” Spike seemed pleased, yet skeptical of your words.

“Spike!” Twilight called out, annoyed as she put you down. Then she looked to you with a sheepish smile. “O-ok, that is true. I may have had a moment last night thinking about it. But for you to manage this so quickly, I hardly think the bad news will be anything even remotely frightening. And I can promise you right now, Anon, we will all do our very best to help reform Chrysalis and make her feel as comfortable as possible.”

Well, that’s good to hear, because what you’re about to tell her may make or break the entire situation. “That’s good to hear, Twilight. Because, well, how to put this.”

Spike was already at the ready, whispering to himself “Here it comes…”

“Well, Uhhhh… It’s on the condition we can stop her latest evil and diabolical plot. Yeah, she sort of wants to pull off one more scheme before she’s ok with reformation. But hey, with the optimism you have, that shouldn’t be too tough to deal with, right?”

“Oh no… That’s not bad news, that’s the worst news.” Spike said to himself as he looked to Twilight. She was frozen with her optimistic smile, her pupils shrank, her mane started to become out of place. “Anon, you may wanna-” But Spike could not finish his words as Twilight suddenly exploded in a spastic manner.

“WHAT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! WHY WOULD YOU AGREE TO THAT?! WHY WOULD SHE EVEN DO THAT IF SHE WANTED TO BE REFORMED!? ANON, WHAT DID YOU JUST CAUSE?!” Twilight yelled out, jumping and being loud enough to roll you backwards.

“Twilight! Twilight! Yo, calm down! Maybe it’s not as bad as it sounds!” Spike said, running up in front of her and waving his arms to signal that it’d be ok.

“Not as bad as it sounds?! It sounds like she wants to try to take over Equestria and that Anon just said ‘Sure, go ahead!', that’s how it sounds!” Twilight said to her assistant, frazzled over the whole thing.

“Actually.” Oh god, here we go. Anon, remember what you told yourself, remember what was said to you. Don’t take Twilight’s shit, and make sure she understands the situation. You can do this! “She said if we can stop her, not to just let her do what she wants. Twilight, why are you even spazzing out? It’s not that big a deal, and I’m this close to reforming her! This is the last step. Heck, I’ll even compromise and say that if she lies about this, then... I dunno, I’ll do something about it, I promise!”

“Anon, even if she said that, we are still allowing her to try another big evil plan! What don’t you get about that?! Why would she even agree to be reformed if not to make some sort of deal where we just sit on our hooves and let her do what she wants!? And don’t tell me we can just stop her. Because even if that’s true, we would be knowingly putting all of Equestria at risk, or at least whatever place she decides to attack. Anon, how could you be so selfish?! I was with you up until the safety of everycreature became a concern! Do you really think risking the lives of everycreature is ok? You couldn’t talk her out of this? Or, I don’t know, stand up to her about it?! She’s using you again, Anon, can’t you see that?!” Twilight was verily concerned, and you could see why. You really didn’t consider the safety of others, and that was because…

“Twilight, it really isn’t that big a deal! You’re acting like she’s still capable of doing what she did at Cadance’s and Shining Armor’s wedding! She can’t, period, she’s alone and in pain because of it! She talks to creatures that aren’t even there, Twilight, and that’s what worries me. She won’t last much longer being as alone as she is. She thinks that whatever she plans to pull off will make her feel whole again, I know it. But I also know she’s wrong, and she won’t be able to pull it off. She has no army, Twilight. Meanwhile, we got me, Dad, you and your team, Starswirl and his team, the princesses, royal guards up the wazoo, and even her own hive. She’s outnumbered, out magic’d, and outplayed, Twilight. She was doomed to fail before things even begun. So again, what are you spazzing about?!” Dammit, you weren't just going to take this. You knew you were right!

“Anon…” Twilight was suddenly doing her best to calm down. She could see it on your face, your determination and self righteousness. She could see just how deeply you really wanted this to work. But she sat down, took a breath, and shook her head. “Anon, no matter the chances, it’s never worth putting others at risk like that. I know you know that, just like I know how deeply you want to help Chrysalis.”

D-dammit! No, she can’t just shrug you off like that! “So what?! That’s it then?! What even makes you think it’d even get that far, Twilight?! This isn’t how it normally works! We can let the princesses and Starswirl know! We could set up spells and alarms and everything to tell us when she’s gonna try something! It’s not like we’re just going to get blindsided here! She gave us the advantage! Can’t you see?! Think! Maybe she just wants to set herself up to lose so we all hate her! You’re giving into it right now, when we could easily stop her with our ridiculous magic! Tell me that I’m wrong now, Twilight! Go ahead, do it!”

“W-woah, Anon, bro, calm down. I know you want to help her, but I think Twilight might be right on this one.” Spike said as he carefully approached you, hoping to calm your nerves.

“She isn’t! She doesn’t even talk to Chrysalis like I do! It’s the same thing with Starlight! She’s just making a stupid decision that nearly ruined everything because she doesn’t know ANYTHING beyond her own suspicions!” You pointed out as you began to feel emotionally flustered. Dammit! You have come to far for this kind of bullshit!

“Anon! Hey, that’s uncalled for! Twilight and I and everypony else wants to help you, but Twilight is right, we just can’t make a big risk like that! C’mon, man, be reasonable here!” Spike said, trying to get you to calm down and see you were being ridiculous.

But Twilight? She could really see it. The fact she spazzed about it made her feel rather guilty, as she did come to this conclusion without thinking about how you or even Chrysalis felt. Enough for her to consider an alternative plan to try to satisfy everyone involved. “Spike. Anon, I think, has every right to feel the way he does. Even with the reformation of the changeling hive, the situation with Chrysalis has definitely been mishandled. But Anon, please, we have to be more reasonable than this. We have to figure something out.”

Reasonable? Mnnngh, at least she realized the situation was mishandled, there is that at least. But you couldn’t let this moment slip by. You also couldn’t let Twilight take full control of the situation. “I agree, it has been mishandled. This is still my show though, and unless you have a better way to reform her, I’d like to hear it. Because I still can’t see why we can’t just set up some defenses. It’s not like it’d be hard, Twilight, she’s only one bughorse.”

“Anon, like I said, we can’t risk the safety of anypony. Even if the chances are astronomically high that we can stop her, there is still a chance somepony could get hurt along the way. It may be easy for you to make such a decision. But as the princess of friendship, I have to consider the safety of everycreature in every decision I make. Every single one of them are as important as you and I, and I just wish you could understand that.”

“Y’know, not to interrupt or anything, but if it’s really that important, why don’t you both just go see Chrysalis together? Just let her know you’re there to talk and negotiate and stuff and maybe you could find a solution to all this. I’d like to think the reason Chrysalis might be moody and want to take over is because of what happened with Princess Celestia. But if you both go, and she sees a princess is willing to talk and forgive her, it might be enough to open her heart a little and forget her grudge.”

“What?” You both look to Spike, confused about his suggestion.

Spike became a little sheepish, but stood firm on his suggestion. “Yeah, just… Y’know, talk to her? If I was a Princess of Friendship, it’d be what I’d do. And if what Anon is saying is true, it’s not like you’d be in any danger, especially if Anon is at your side.”

While Twilight seemed hesitant on the idea, the gears in your head were turning. Chrysalis had just seen both you and Diamond off, so she had to be more willing to accept other visitors if you were around, even if it is Twilight. You have the power to make sure Chrysalis nor Twilight kill each other. And if Twilight can be wrangled in, maybe Chrysalis will soften up. Yeah, she wouldn’t truly do anything to hurt you, and if Twilight and her could see eye to eye… “I’m ok with it, let’s do that! Let’s do that right now!” Yes, you had to, before Chrysalis delved back deeper into those delusions she’s been having.

“What?! But I didn’t even consider it yet! Shouldn’t we figure out the pros and cons to it first?!” Twilight said in surprise. But fuck it, it can work!

“Twilight, we can’t just sit around and wait for the pros and cons. Chrysalis, at this very moment, can be talked to. I should know, I talked to her today. I get that she may react super harsh because it’s… Well… you. But I can subdue her, and then we can talk things out. C’mon, nopony would be in danger! It’d just be us two. Isn’t that what you want? To make sure everypony is safe while we reform Chrysalis?” C’mon, Twilight, agree to this. C’MON!

Twilight looked to you, and then to Spike. Both of you seemed to think it really was a good idea. Twilight also had to consider that you knew Chrysalis better than anyone, so if what you said is true, would it really be best to go see her at this very moment? The plan didn’t seem solid, but considering it’s Chrysalis, it’d never would have been. “Let’s just consider a few things first before I make my decision. Are you sure seeing her right now would be effective? If it’s just us, then I’m not worried about safety, I think I could take her if she tried anything. But the important thing is helping her towards the path of friendship. So again, I ask you, would it be?”

You nod. Fuck yes, some actual progress! “I do. Trust me, it'll work. Chrysalis, I promise you, has had her more tender moments. She’s capable of caring, we just need to go and show her we can care about her. That ANYPONY can. Do you know what I mean, Twilight?”

“He’s making sense to me, Twilight.” Spike said with a shrug.

“I think he is too. As the Princess of Friendship, it is my duty to help everycreature in need, and that includes Chrysalis too. If you really feel this is our chance to help her, then of course I’ll agree to it. I assume you know how to get to wherever she is, right?” Twilight asks as she takes a breath, preparing herself for anything that might happen.

You nod as you slap on your horn. “I am. But, look, Chrysalis might be disagreeable if she thinks you know how to find her. So do you mind if we just teleport straight there, without revealing her exact location?”

“I’d rather know it. But if you feel it’d help the situation, then ok. Spike, I need you to stay here and let the girls know where I went in case they come looking for me in my office. Hopefully, we shouldn’t be too long.” Twilight says, still taking long breaths as she preps her mind. She had to be ready, as Chrysalis was a foe that could pull off a trick or a trap at anytime.

“Aye Aye, Twilight.” Spike said with a salute.

“Alright then, you ready to go, Twilight?” You ask her.

“I’m ready. Besides, I had just made another promise to help reform her. So it’s not like I can just run away now, right?” Twilight said as she gave you a warming smile, hiding away her true nervousness over the entire situation.

You nod, good. Wasting no time, you teleport you and Twilight to Chrysalis’s location.

Hidden above, making himself a fixture on the ceiling, was Discord. Silently staring, eating his popcorn.

You and Twilight appeared in front of the rather quaint lair of Chrysalis. The exterior of the home you made for her looked like a very small but cozy cabin, minus the chimney.

“She lives here? Hmm…” Twilight began to look at the home as she gently placed her hoof on the door. “That’s nice of you to do this for her, Anon. I can see why she considers you a friend.”

“Trust me, Twilight, this is not something she’d consider when it comes to our friendship. It runs much deeper than that. The way me and Chrysalis work is just understanding one another, sharing a laugh together, doing something we both would like, even if it is something ponies wouldn't accept.” You explain to her, calming your mind. If this was going to happen, you’d also not have to take Chrysalis’s shit either. You begin to paw at your horn, ready to defend either Chrysalis or Twilight at a moment’s notice.

“So, like a regular friendship? I just don’t understand it then. If she is capable of being a good friend, then why? Why still be evil? Why would she purposely make herself lonely if she enjoys the company of others, like you and her children?” Twilight asked, unable to figure it out.

“Because she has ambitions, Twilight. They may be evil, but they are still hers. Hopefully, with this meeting, we might be able to fix that. But, Twilight, seriously. I need you NOT to go on some friendship monologue, tirade, or crusade, ok? Like seriously, don’t be too goody goody here. Just stay down to earth.” You explain, because dammit, you did not need Twilight going off on some spiel about goodness and niceness.

“Anon, I think I can handle it. I think I know enough about friendship to properly manage the situation, considering I am the princess of it.” Twilight said, feeling sure of herself.

“Yeah, well, you’re about to learn a whole new lesson in friendship when it comes to me and her. So again, just don’t be so righteous and we should be fine. Chrysalis is going to say a lot of things that are going to set you off. Just don’t let yourself get bothered by it and it should be fine.” Christ, it really is amazing that Diamond can handle the fucking situation better than Twilight can. “I’m going to knock on the door now, ok? Let me do the talking. Remember, she’s my friend, let me take the lead here.”

Twilight nods “Alright, I understand. This is to help her, I got that. It just seems so strange to me how different this seems already.”

“Yeah, well, Twilight, friendships come in all forms. Didn’t you realize that with my Dad and Aunt Fluttershy?” You ask her.

“I did, it’s just, Mnnnn… It just seems so weird even saying it, even after everything. You and her being friends, it still seems surreal.” Twilight replies before steadying herself, looking determined to make everything work. “But I can do this. You can count on me, Anon, I won’t let you down. We will make this work.”

Damn better, because this could go all kinds of wrong if a misstep is made. But, nothing would happen at all until the first actual step is done. So, you finally knock on the door, and make yourself known. “Chrysalis? Hey! It’s Anon again. Um, I know I’m here after I just saw you this morning, but I really think we should talk about the whole ‘evil scheme’ thing.”

“Ah, Anon, I have been expecting you, though not so soon. Are you alone? We could just spend some time watching another documentary instead. Or, perhaps, you could add a shower for me to use, luxurious in nature of course.” Chrysalis says from behind the door, seeming well natured and much more calm than she was when you ran into her with Diamond. A-and a shower? How could you forget that? E-especially… NO, ANON, NO!

“Actually, I brought a friend that I think you should really speak to.” You say

“Ah, now this is much sooner than I expected indeed. If my guess is correct, it should be Princess Twilight Sparkle, correct?” Chrysalis said, her tone becoming a little darker as she says Twilight’s name.

W-what?! You expected a sudden rage, an opening of the door with her scowling at the other end, something. B-but, she was expecting this? Was it a trap? You gulp, and grip your horn as you and Twilight look to each other silently, confused.

“That silence, you weren’t expecting that, were you? I did say you could tell the Princesses after all, so I knew that little snoop of a princess would want to investigate eventually, I just didn’t expect it this soon, didn’t even have time to prepare myself for the little negotiation we’re about to have. If you’re expecting any kind of trap, don’t, I’m not foolish enough to try anything against you and an alicorn.” Chrysalis says with a very low chuckle.

Well, that wasn’t exactly true when it came to Twilight snooping, and you just didn’t want to go and say…

“Actually, this was my assistant’s suggestion. And I’m glad we listened to him. Chrysalis, I would love to have a negotiation with you. I think it’ll be the start of a new friendship between us.” Twilight said, cheerfully and proudly before looking to you with a wink and whispering. “How was that?”

Oh god, this will not go well. You didn’t even know what to say to that, and neither did Chrysalis it seemed, as she said nothing nor did she go and unlock her door. You gulp, whisper to Twilight that it was ‘fine’ despite it not being that, and then call out to Chrysalis. “Chrysalis? You alright? Are you going to let us in?”

“Y-yes, I just suddenly felt ill. I’ll just… Get the door.” She said, her dominating mood suddenly extinguished by Twilight’s friendly nature.

“Ill? Chrysalis, if you nee-” Twilight tried to be just a little more friendly up until the door opened, Chrysalis staring at her with a less than pleased stare.

“I’d appreciate it if you stopped caring about my well being and step inside” Chrysalis said as she turned around, mumbling to herself. “Tch, her assistant she says. There’s no way that’s right, if it was, then I’m a flower loving filly.” However, she also didn’t realize she was still quite audible. That was pretty cute, actually, being flustered that her prediction was wrong. Hopefully though, this doesn’t explode in your face. Because the air right now was all kinds of off.

So there you all were, sitting at a table with little seats you conjured up, with little drinks and little treats. Chrysalis and Twilight were staring at each other. Chrysalis with visibly mild interest, Twilight with nervousness, and you were wondering how the fuck this even happened. “So, uh, anypony actually gonna say something? Because I’m not gonna lie, this is pretty weird.”

Chrysalis rolls her eyes “If I must, I am the host of this little party after all.” Chrysalis then looks to Twilight as she magically raises her tea cup and takes a sip. “So, Princess, here we are, face to face, all over a problem you assume is an issue. Well, what is it then, out with it.”

Twilight stays calm, which was pretty good considering she was in the belly of the beast right now. Chrysalis, to her, seemed willing to listen and looked rather cool and collected rather than in rage or insane. “Chrysalis, I’ve heard what you’ve been going th-” But Chrysalis cut her off right there, almost angry in tone.

“I said for you to stop caring about my well being. It is of no concern to you, and further conversation about it will…” Chrysalis looks to you, and sighs, feeling that at the moment, she had to bide her time. "For me to ask you to leave. Now then, what is your grievance?”

Twilight just looks to her a moment, brings up her own cup with her magic, and sips. “My grievance is with your supposed ‘evil’ plan. Chrysalis, you can’t just expect me to let you have your deal with Anon when we both know other ponies’ safety are at stake.”

Chrysalis smirks a little hearing that, leaning forward as she stares at Twilight. “And why would you expect me to care about the safety of other ponies, hm?”

“Chrysalis…” Dammit, because Twilight is right in that sense. Chrysalis has gotten a certain taste of the darker side of atrocity and evil, she could very well go further than what she originally was willing before. Sure, you were sure she could be stopped. But, you did have to consider now, that she was willing to do anything to win. “Twilight is right. As much as I care about you, I can’t let you hurt anypony either. Even with all our resources, I know what you’re capable of. Look, is this all really worth it? How do you even expect anypony to accept you after you pull off whatever you’re thinking you can pull off?”

“Ah! Good question!” Chrysalis said with glee as she stepped out of her chair and walked towards the window to gaze through to the forest outside. “It’s very true, isn’t it? How would I be able to allow you all to reform me if I ended up hurting one of your precious friends. How, I wonder?” Chrysalis then looks to Twilight with an evil foreboding glare and a cruel little smile. “What if the pony I intend on destroying is the only one liable to get hurt? What if I make a promise to only destroy that one pony? It should be easier for you all to let me do as I wish if you only need to worry about one life.”

Twilight, getting angry at what she assumed was a threat on Celestia’s life, jumps from her chair in anger. “Chrysalis, I will NOT let you lay a single hoof on Princess Celestia! And if you even think I can trust you not to hurt anypony along the way, then I’m sorry, I cannot allow you to do anything if that’s how you’re going to be!”

“How, presumptuous of you, Princess.” Chrysalis said with a giggle. “Why would I go after her?”

“What?” Twilight said in confusion. Hell, you were confused. You could have sworn that was where her hate boner was pointing towards.

“It’s as I said, I don’t intend to attack Celestia at all. You see, little Twilight Sparkle, prodigy and well loved student of the very princess you assume I want destroyed, she isn’t the one I plan on attacking. I came to realize after Anon left my home here that destroying Celestia is meaningless. What is the point of destroying her when I can make her suffer?” Chrysalis sets her sights on Twilight, looking directly into her eyes.

“Make her suffer? What are you talking about?” Twilight asked, cautiously readying herself in case Chrysalis tries something.

“Making her suffer is my plan. And to accomplish that plan, I need to take away something from her that will bring her the same eternal torment I feel now. Now, to do that, I could destroy her sister and be done with it. But why do that when your destruction would not only devastate her, but would also devastate ALL closest to you? If you think I’m not willing to add on to this by exacting my revenge on your brother and sister-in-law for their little magical burst, then you’re more foolish than I realize.” Chrysalis said, cackling evilly as she finished her sentence.

Twilight’s horn began to glow as she readied herself for combat. “Chrysalis, you’ve gone too far! I should have known this would be a trap! And to use Anon, the one you call your friend, to orchestrate it! That’s low, even for you!”

Goddamit, you bring your hoof to your face as you look to Twilight, annoyed. “Twilight, sheesh, will you stop? Chrysalis isn’t ACTUALLY going to attack you right now, it’d be suicide.”

“Anon, you can’t just defend her! Didn’t you hear her? This was a trap to lure me here and, huh?” Twilight turned her attention away from Chrysalis for a moment to speak to you, but when she looked back at Chrysalis, she was laying on her bed, using her magic to raise her remote and use it to turn on her TV. “What’s going on? I thought…”

“You thought what? That I’d honestly try to fight when I have barely any love to fuel my more dangerous spells and magic? Oh yes, Princess, please, let me attempt to destroy you with the equivalent of a pebble as you blast me to smithereens.” Chrysalis says with an eye roll, switching her DVD on and putting on Starship Troopers. She was speeding through it though, fast forwarding it. “No wonder Discord loves to toy with you, you absolutely react to everything.”

Twilight blinked for a moment, then got annoyed as she yelled out “I do not! And I don’t let Discord toy with me! And I still don’t trust you! Do you really think that even if I am your target, that I’d just let you try when everypony’s lives are still at stake? I know what you do, Chrysalis. I know what you’re capable of!” Twilight barked at her, feeling defensive over Chrysalis’s comment.

“Ugh, fine then. Anon, front and center please, and put that horn on your head.” Chrysalis said as she put down the remote.

“Wha? What do you mean? Chrysalis, what’s up?” You ask her as you hop off your chair, confused.

“Your stupid princess is ‘what’s up’. How are we supposed to make any progress when she won’t even let me attempt to destroy her? Well, if she’s THAT worried over her subjects, then we’ll just need to make sure a safeguard is in place so none of her precious little peons are hurt. Now, put on the horn.” Chrysalis says again, a little more forcefully this time.

“Why does that need my horn though? What, do you expect me to lock you both in some kind of pocket dimension so you can duke it out?” You cautiously place the horn on your head as you asked, but you don’t step any closer towards Chrysalis, wary of her motives.

“As you said, Anon, it’d be suicide to attack her now, no matter the field of battle. No, this is more of a precaution. She wants what she wants, just like I want what I want, and you want what you want. I’ve been studying up on some alternative magics lately, and I think chaos magic can help with the little dilemma we all find ourselves in right now. Now, come over here, raise your hoof towards me, and ask me to promise not to hurt anypony but her.” Chrysalis says as she beckons you with her hoof.

“Chrysalis, what are you doing?” Twilight asked, confused as to what was going on. But Chrysalis nor you paid her no mind.

“I mean, I guess. But what does that have to do with my horn? What, do you expect me to use it as a lie detector or something?” You asked, very slowly stepping towards her.

“Yes, exactly that. With chaos magic, it shouldn’t be too hard to try to figure out if I am truly lying or not, right? Would that satisfy you, Princess Twilight?” Chrysalis asked, looking to Twilight with a cool and smug look.

“No… But…” Twilight was, in truth, curious to see if chaos magic could truly cut through her bullshit and sense if she was telling the truth. “I am interested in this, I admit. Are you saying chaos magic can detect the truth? Really?”

“I am. Now, Anon, do it. Ask me the question, and raise your hoof. You should know what to do with my answer.” Chrysalis said, still beckoning to you until you were in front of her bed. Her bed itself was more of a giant cat bed more than anything, with a fluffy softness and lots of pillows for her to cuddle with.

She just looked at you from said bed, waiting. Hm, what could it hurt? Though, even you didn’t know if chaos magic could see through her crap, but Twilight was right, it wouldn't hurt to give it a shot, even if nothing comes from it. “Ok, do you promise not to hurt anypony but Twilight, I mean, with this plan of yours and all?”

Chrysalis thrusts her hoof forward to touch yours, and looks to you with a more crazed look than evil. “I bet my very life on it.”

Suddenly, there is a dark burst of magic that hits the legs of both you and Chrysalis, sending you back a few inches with a sudden blast. You start to freak out as black shackles appear on all your legs, Chrysalis gaining her own shackles as well, even if they were hard to see due to her own jet black exoskeleton. The fuck just… Wait. OH GOD NO!

“Anon! What just happened?! What did she do!” Twilight aimed her horn at Chrysalis, ready to fight. “What did you do to him!”

No, NO NO NO NO! WAS SHE FUCKING CRAZY?! “Twilight, stop!” Chrysalis! You fucking…

“But she…” No, fuck that shit, shut up, Twilight!

“No, she didn’t do anything to me! She just freaking bet her life! That’s what she did!” How did she?! Fuck, it must have been a fucking ‘devil’s deal’ kind of spell! She tricked you! But no… NO! Not like this! Goddammit! You rush up back to Chrysalis, and angrily point at her. “Chrysalis, please tell me you didn’t just bet your freaking life! Tell me you didn’t just do that!”

Chrysalis shrugged. “I did. I knew you’d do what I asked, and I also knew Princess Freakout wouldn’t approve of anything without a good incentive.” Chrysalis then looks over to Twilight with a smirk. “You understand what just happened, don’t you? Now I have no choice but to solely target you for my plan. If anypony else gets hurt, Twilight, then I will be no more.”

Twilight’s eyes went wide. That spell, it really did happen, she could sense it was real. But even more mindblowing, she just saw an ancient villain, one who could not be trusted, bet her very life to make sure she was her only target. “But… Why? Why would you go that far? Why would you put your very life on the line for petty revenge?”

“Because that’s just the kind of girl I am, Twilight. But you should realize I even made such a risk because Anon here is of some importance to me. I enjoy his company, he makes me feel more cheerful on dull and unmemorable days, and I enjoy the sleeping evil within him. And so total victory or utter defeat are my only options. Winning gets me my revenge, losing means I have to agree to go on his pitiful little quest for redemption. Is that enough of an explanation for you?” Chrysalis says as she raises her remote again. “Because I’d like to spend some time with the both of you. Twilight, I’m sure you’d be interested in at least an excerpt of Anon’s human history, right? Because this part of the documentary, I think you'll find most interesting.”

“Chrysalis, how could you shrug off something like that?!” You cut in, in disbelief on how easily fooled you were. “You just bet your life! And on something like this?! Why!? I know you, that kind of deal, I know you can’t keep it!”

Chrysalis looked to you, her smile more genuine. She then yawned and rolled on her back. “How adorable, but you forget, I do want my revenge and I’ll do anything to have it. Oh, and don’t bother telling me I can’t just act at all to sustain my life. If nothing is done, then eventually the bonds on these legs will end me.”

BULLSHIT! “You can’t know that! It wasn’t even part of the deal! How could you possibly know?!”

“I think I’d know the spell I tricked you into casting, Anon. Besides, life would be easier for you this way. I know my destruction or the failure of my plan would solve all your problems. Think of this as a gift, Anon, a way for me to attempt my plan without too much blame being placed on you. Though, I suppose me succeeding would change things up as well. So, Princess…” Chrysalis looked over to Twilight, her gentle smile becoming arrogant. “What say you? Will you use this opportunity to end me? You now have a way to erase my existence without having to even raise a single hoof. You could seal me away, and the spell will take care of the rest. Or, we can play things my way, and let me have my little scheme.”

Twilight fell silent. She didn’t expect this, she didn’t know how far Chrysalis was willing to go until today. She couldn’t see it at first, but she could really see Chrysalis didn’t take losing her children all too well, her madness being evident. There was something… Something she had to test. Because it was clear there seemed to be some friendship between you and her as well. But this madness, was it making her see you as just another object? Right now, Twilight couldn’t see Chrysalis a hero of another dimension, a sister, or a friend. And so, wanting to see the truth, she just had to see how far Chrysalis has truly gone. “I see, so you really want to see me destroyed. So, are you truly willing to go that far to destroy me, Chrysalis? Even using Anon to meet your own ends?”

“What are you babbling about? I evened the playing field, didn’t I? You’re the only one I want destroyed. Your destruction will cause Celestia to suffer for as long as she exists. So yes, I used Anon to force you to agree to my terms, so what? Besides, I already know I'm safe. You’re not willing to destroy me. You’re too set in your ways. And even if you weren't, you'd still take Anon into consideration anyway, friendship and all that.” Chrysalis rolled back onto her stomach, trying to figure out why Twilight didn’t seem to get the stakes, the terms, and the idea of her bet.

Twilight nodded, and suddenly, you were caught in a purple aura. Twilight was pinning you down with her magic while keeping her eye on Chrysalis. “What the?! T-Twilight! What are you doing?!”

“I’m sorry, Anon. I know Fluttershy and Discord won’t like this, it is going to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But it’s clear to me that you’re too dangerous. your actions have led to this, a plot to end me, a plot to cause true disarray in the land, all over revenge. Chrysalis, I may not know much about chaos magic, but severing Anon’s connection to Discord should free you from your own insane bet. You will then have a choice. A proper trial, or immediate imprisonment. The choice is yours. Either way, say goodbye to Anon.” Twilight’s horn began to glow brighter.

“HOLY WHAT?! TWILIGHT, WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! GYAH!” You couldn’t even grab your horn! Oh no! Not this shit again! Fuck fuck fuck!

“What are you doing?!” Chrysalis stood up, visibly becoming angry. “You’re bluffing, You can’t expect me to believe you’d send Anon away over this!”

“I can, and I will. Anon, for all the good he has done, has also put too many at risk too many times. He’s too dangerous, we both know that. I also know you can’t stop me, you said so yourself. So really, you don’t scare me at all.” Twilight said, looking to Chrysalis with a dominating look.

What in the fuck was she talking about?! What the fuck did you do?! “TWILIIIIIGHT!”

Chrysalis actually quivered, her expression becoming vicious in a motherly fashion as her own horn began to glow. “Twilight Sparkle, if you dare. IF YOU DARE! I will not rest until you are destroyed, do you hear me?! I will make sure you suffer for weeks on end before I grant you the MERCY of destruction!”

Twilight nods, and immediately lets you go, her expression softening ever so softly. “I don’t dare, Chrysalis. And despite your threat, I now know you are capable of caring about another. You’re capable of friendship, love, and companionship. If Anon was in danger, you really would risk your life to save him. And I’m sure he’d do the same for you, he pretty much has so far.”

“Are you telling me you bluffed me to prove some insipid, stupid, disgusting point about me! ME! YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME THAT WELL?! PRINCESS?! HOW DARE YOU EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND ME! WHY DOES EVERYPONY THINK THEY GET ME?!” Chrysalis was in a rage. Sure, she was pissed off that she was tricked by Twilight. But even worse, the only reason she believed Twilight was because of the possibility of… “...I was too obvious.” Chrysalis realized it, realized why she was easily tricked. She looks to you, then back to Twilight. “Alright then, so I have a vice. That doesn’t mean much when it comes to your safety, Twilight. I still intend to enact my plan.”

“Hmm…” Twilight was still conflicted to allow her to try. And yet, she was the Princess of Friendship, it was her duty to help those who sought acceptance and love. This was the ultimate test, wasn’t it? To help Chrysalis, she’d have to put herself at risk. Nobody else was going to like it, but if it meant finally putting an end to a possible evil, she had to take it. “I accept that. But I’d really like to get to know you better, to know how you and Anon are. That’s why we’re here, isn’t it?” Twilight didn’t look pleased about any of it, but she got the information she wanted.

Christ, you had to check yourself after that. Fuck, Twilight means fucking business if she was willing to try that. But Chrysalis, wow, you didn’t know if she considered you a brother or a friend at this point, that was pretty defensive. “Look, are we done with the whole ‘anime, aha just as planned’ stuff? I’d rather not be used as a poker chip right now, please?” Like goddamn, you were shaking.

Chrysalis was silent, thinking, wondering. She was exposed, but she got what she wanted, and a part of her cared about that. She had to now play her cards right. She already had a plan in the works, but if she could learn how Twilight thinks...

Well, for now, she'd just have to play along. And she did have something in mind for 'bonding'. “I suppose that’s one of the reasons, even though nopony said it. But yes, fine, let’s take things down a notch, I wanted to show you something anyway. Anon, as for you, stop being such a baby. You act as if no one has ever manipulated you before.”

“G-geez, thanks for caring. Christ…” Holy fuck, man, what the fuck was all that shit?!

That situation…

Twilight had apologized to you, whispering to you that it was necessary to see Chrysalis’s true stance on friendship or some nonsense like that. No shit, Twilight, it’s not like you're suspicious of everything every goddamn time! And Chrysalis? Yeah, of course she’s going to fall for it, she has nothing left, desperate, and would be afraid of losing someone she can still relate to. You just sat there, stunned, trying to put everything together. And most of all, you were pissed.

Chrysalis internally, wasn’t too pleased as well, but she knew she couldn’t just attack Twilight. No, instead she’d actually try to do what you wanted. She’d look past Twilight’s threat and just try her own version of ‘bonding’ with Twilight. Though, in truth, she really didn’t care for that either. Chrysalis is what Chrysalis always does, she schemes, even if is but a tiny scheme. She points to the screen, which has been paused with Lt. Jean and his team investigating the attacked outpost. “Now then, Princess, if you’ll look at the screen, I think you’ll notice something of great interest to you.”

Twilight looks over to the screen, it only shows the outpost, paused at what looked like a seemingly innocent moment. “What is that? It looks like some kind of camp or base in a canyon.” Twilight kept one eye on Chrysalis, while trying to remain friendly for your sake. "Looks rather elaborate too."

“You’d be correct! However, the reason as to why this would be of interest to you is because it contains a piece of actual human history. This is a very real documentation of Anon’s universe, the war against Klendathu.” Chrysalis said, preparing to play the events that are about to unfold. “I know you find violence rather abhorrent, but a scholar like you surely can’t resist the chance to see humans in any capacity. Namely, one who is a cowardly leader, and another willing to do whatever it takes, even if it costs his own life. Such contrast… Even if I have to admit that Jean's allegiance to good is rather unfortunate, but humans make it interesting enough for it not to matter.”

“Hmmm…” Twilight was indeed fascinated. She was wary, but looking at the strange high definition screen in front of her, she couldn’t help but feel this was too good an opportunity to waste when it came to learning about some of your ‘culture’. “Well, we should take this opportunity to relax, get to know each other more, and in this case, learn about each other. I admit, I had been wondering about what Earth was like for a very long time. Anon…” Twilight turns to you, ignorant of your anger towards her. "Is this really part of your old world? It’s not too violent, is it? Because I would like the chance to see what things were like. U-unless it offends you.”

“Oh no, Twilight, go ahead, take a look. It’ll be really interesting.” You tell her, trying your best to sound calm.

“Ok, u-uhm.” Twilight was trying, she was going to really try now, to be friendly with Chrysalis. Especially if she was willing to give her this chance. It could even increase the chances that Chrysalis’s evil plot could be less evil or even something trivial if she could actually make a bond with her. “Alright, Chrysalis, I’m ready to watch.” Twilight said as she planted her butt to the ground, eager to see what was going to happen.

“Alright then, let’s jus-hmm? Hmnnn…” Chrysalis muttered as she kept clicking on the remote, but nothing was happening, it wasn’t playing the movie or even responding to any of the button presses. “What is with this stupid thing?! It’s suddenly… Hmmm?” That’s when Chrysalis noticed it, she looked over to you to see you had your horn on. She then looked to the screen and saw it had just magically skipped to the part where Zander and Carmen are kneeling to the brain bug. She knew what was going to happen next, and she could sense your overwhelming anger from being used by Twilight. Chrysalis only took a moment to ponder. Yes, she could now tell that that it really was Twilight that angered you, and you were about to give her quite a spook. She felt it would be best not to interrupt.

“Oh? Are those humans? Amazing! Though, I sort of expected there to be some movement or even sound to this documentary. Why do they look so distressed? Is there going to be a call to arms?” Twilight said as she moved closer to the TV to examine Zander and Carmen. “Interesting… Almost like smaller minotaurs, but their heads aren’t bull like at all, nor does it have fur anywhere, there aren’t even any horns on their head. Frame, smaller than that of a minotaur too. And if I were to guess, the one on the right is a female, isn’t she?”

“Oh yes, that’s right, Twilight. That’s exactly right. As for the sound and movement, well, it should be on soon.” Chrysalis looked to you, trying to make a verbal signal for you to let it play. “Anon, you are focused on the screen as well, aren’t you?”

Shut up, Chrysalis! Of course you were focused on the damn screen. You just wanted to make sure Twilight was too. “Yeah, just make sure you take this all in, Twilight. Human documentaries are very informational.”

“Got it! Alright, I’m focudsGFSDAsAHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT IS! GYAH! WHA! OHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHH! DID THAT?! DID THAT GIANT JELLY THING JUST! HIS SKULL, IS IT! IS IT?!” Twilight grabbed onto her own head, feeling as if something truly vital to her was being sucked out, even though it wasn’t. “IS THAT THING SUCKING OUT HIS BRAIN?! IS HE?! OH MY GOSH! HE’S… HE’S!” Twilight practically flew back, her entire coat white from fright. She was actually on the ceiling, like a fucking insect herself, hopping around from the horror she saw until she realized she wasn’t a bug and fell back to the ground. Twilight quickly jumped back up and then turned her attention to Chrysalis, now angry as to what had just occurred. “Chrysalis! You-You did that on purpose! How could you!? T-That was the… Ngh.” Twilight began to hold on to her stomach as she began to go from white to near green “I feel like I’m going to be sick. That couldn’t have happened, that can’t be real.”

“Oh, suck it up, Princess. What happened happened and the realities of war within another universe just so happen to be nightmarish compared to our own. “ Chrysalis said, holding back a gigantic sinister giggle. She then pointed to you, rolling her eyes towards Twilight. “Besides, he’s the one who brought it to that scene.”

“Anon?” Twilight then turned to you, surprised and confused as her purple color began to return to her “Did you… Did you really do this? Why would you show me something that horrifying? What’s gotten into you?”

Your eye twitched at that. ‘What’s gotten into you?’ she says. Was she kidding? Did she think an apology would fix things?! Fuck that, you did not like being used in that way. ESPECIALLY when the last time she had done something like that, she had meant it. “Oh, what, Twilight? You didn’t find that interesting?”

“I found it deplorable. Anon, seriously, why did you do that?! That guy’s brain, it just…” Twilight gulped. She was still afraid, and she had also noticed you were looking at her rather angrily. Was it because...? “Are you mad at me? I-I said I was sorry, I thought we had an understanding.”

“You know, Twilight, sorry just doesn’t magically make the fact that your bluff was at my expense! The fact you just decided to use me? Just like Celestia does! Just like Luna does! Just like…” Does Cadance use you? Nah fuck that, just stick to your major points. “Whatever, the point is that you just decide to use whoever is convenient for whatever you’re about to do! Didn’t ask me, didn’t tell me, didn’t do anything to warn me! You just made the threat and there you go! Did you honestly think I’d just let that slide?! Really?!”

“A-Anon, I really didn’t mean to upset you that badly. But…” Twilight now tried to stay calm, collecting herself and thinking the situation through. “I think you’re exaggerating. We princesses don’t use others like that, that isn’t how it is. I can understand why you’re upset, but you don’t need to go that far with it. I’m sorry, alright? I promise not to let that happen again. I understand the situation is a little sensitive, but if we just stay c-” Nope, you weren’t going to let her finish that sentence, you didn’t even want to hear the word ‘calm’.

“No, you stay calm and listen to me! How are you going to tell me the princesses don’t use others?! They abuse their position, Twilight, and you do too!” You say as you angrily point your hoof at her.

“He’s right. As a ruler, I too enjoy using others to bring about my own ambitions.” Chrysalis said with a chuckle, enjoying the show.

“That isn’t how ponies do it!” Twilight snaps back before refocusing on you. “And what examples?! Anon, calm down, you don’t know what you’re saying, none of the princesses are like that! How could you even say that after all the good they’ve done!”

“Oh, I dunno, Twilight, maybe because I’m not wrong! But fine, you think I’m exaggerating? Then let’s go over just some examples of Celestia and Luna in particular doing things that are both manipulative and downright cruel. Now, mentioning the fact Celestia herself had you come to Ponyville for reasons you yourself had only assumed would be moot, as would the tickets to the gala. But the fact that she put the fate of the Crystal Empire on you over a test was kind of insane. Even further, she expected you to solve Starswirl’s spell at the possible cost of your friends being cutie swapped forever! And in between all that, despite me liking my Dad, she did drop him off in a prereformed state and risked all of Equestria on a notion that he could be made an ally. Y’know, now that I think about that, I really don’t see how ANYPONY can have a problem with me and Chrysalis when Celestia pulled the same crap! And don’t forget her putting Dad in charge of taking down Tirek without any supervision, because that went super ok! Like, geez Twilight, how could you tell me she hasn’t done anything when she has put Equestria in danger just based on a whim? She can’t even handle her own sister without there being an issue from time to time. So tell me, how does she not manipulate ponies, tell me how she doesn’t.” You explained, and then awaited Twilight’s answer.

Twilight was stunned. She had never considered any of that, nor did she ever come to any realization that Celestia had ever used anypony ever. That couldn’t be true, could it? All those things happened, but was it under the intention of using others? “A-Anon, I d-don’t…” Oh, but you weren’t done yet.

“Hold on, Twilight, I didn’t even get to the ‘thought policing’ that is Princess Luna. Forget the fact that she keeps tabs on me whenever I freaking sleep, there’s the fact she keeps tabs on everypony too, regardless of if they're having a nightmare or not. Twilight, we’re talking about that she will cause a nightmare herself just to teach some sort of lesson. What gives her the right?! Not only are some of the lessons she wants to teach is something she could just explain to them verbally, but the way she teaches such lessons is just as horrifying as what I just did to you. Case in point, Scootaloo. There was a time she went camping with her friends and their sisters, also Rainbow Dash. Got told some story that spooked her, but she pretended it didn’t affect her at all. So what does Luna do? Give her ridiculous nightmares that make her lose sleep and causes her to nearly kill herself, every night, until she’s able to face her fear. And no, don’t tell me those nightmares were already there, I’ve seen how Luna operates. So don’t go acting as if what I just did was a grievous action, because it wasn’t. Ok, Twilight? Because you know, you just know, you’ve done that kind of crap too. Aunt Fluttershy could have been a batpony forever because of your spell, or heck, forget even that. You talk friendship, but you really didn’t seem like you wanted to give Starlight, Trixie, or Chrysalis here a chance. Oh, and don’t forget you were mostly against trying to reform my Dad in the first place. So, how can you tell me, after hearing all that, that you princesses don’t just use others to meet your own ends, hm? Tell me. Tell me none of that happened and that I’m wrong, do it! ”

Chrysalis just laid there on her bed, wide eyed, impressed. She was stunned. She had never seen you go on such a tirade before, enough of a tirade to actually blow away someone like Twilight. She found it interesting, she found the whole thing interesting actually. But it also made her wonder, and then it hit her. “Wait, are you telling me that I get all this disdain for what I do but the Princess of the Night gets to traumatize foals without anypony saying a word? And they call me wretched.”

“She doesn’t! Ngh… But it’s not… Princess Celestia isn’t…” Twilight didn’t know what to say, because hearing all that now, it was all things that actually happened. She could argue it was for the sake of good and friendship, but she couldn’t deny that some of them didn’t sound too good morally. She also couldn’t deny that on some of Celestia’s missions or tests, failure would have meant doom. And then there was herself. Despite being all about friendship, she did have a myriad of trust issues she hadn’t even considered. And finally, she had to admit, she used you for her own ends. “I…”

“C’mon, Twilight, spit it out! Or are you just going to justify everything? Like geez, Twilight, you say we’re friends, you want me to go to your school, and yet here I am being used as your freaking bluff against the changeling queen I’m trying to reform. Y’know, now I can see why Aunt Fluttershy at least gives me a chance without too much trouble, she was the one who reformed Dad. Meanwhile you and the princesses suddenly have a big problem when it comes to her!” You yell out, pointing at Chrysalis. “Makes me wonder if you don’t just use Spike sometimes as well.”

“I don’t! Don’t say that!” Twilight finally blurted out without hesitation. “Spike and I are a team! No, more than that, we’re like family! We are family! He’s always been there for me, not because he’s my assistant, but because he’s my friend. Anon…” And that’s when Twilight felt unsure again, unsure about a lot of things. But everything had a purpose, right? Everything always worked out. But even then, there was always the possibility that it didn’t. Even worse, there really was no way to justify a lot of what you said at all without it sounding tyrannical. Tyrannical, that word. She shifted her focus to Chrysalis. “Chrysalis, can I ask you a question?”

“Oh, are we ACTUALLY going to be friendly to one another? Because I have to admit, your suffering would be fattening if I could feast on it properly. But, ah, I suppose I’m being a bad host now. Go ahead, Princess, ask your useless question.” Chrysalis couldn’t pass up taunting her, the moment was too good, she could see Twilight couldn’t logic her way out of this one.

“I want you to be honest with me. If I really let you have your chance at destroying me, and you fail, will you give reformation a chance? For Anon’s sake, I just want to know the truth.” Twilight asked, her tone was unsettled, weak.

“What kind of question is that? I said I’d do it, didn’t I?” Chrysalis said, feeling rather insulted.

“I mean it! Because I know, it’s not just us princesses, but you too have used him to meet your own ends. I’m asking you, one potential friend to another, to tell me the truth. Tell me this isn’t just a ruse to try to destroy me with you hiding back into the Everfree Forest if you fail. If you win, then it’s all on me for failing. But if you lose, you can’t just come back here. Otherwise…” Twilight’s lower lips quivered before she said her next words. “You’ll be no better than us.”

Chrysalis’s eyes narrowed towards Twilight “Are you implying I can’t keep my word, and that failing to do so would make me the equivalent to you princesses? You listen to me, fool, I don’t use others to teach some silly lesson about love and friendship, I just use them. That will always be a step above what you’re capable of doing. As for keeping my word, I think I can do it. Listening to Anon, I think it’d give me the perfect opportunity to show you that I can even outclass you do gooding ponies at your own game as well. That is, if you succeed in stopping me.” Chrysalis said with a cold grin.

“Good, then I should make a promise I intend to keep as well.” Twilight said with a nod as she turned to you. “Anon, I promise, I really promise. I’ll watch myself from now on, and I won’t use you or anypony else for any kind of plan. If I have to, I’ll ask first, as I should. Nopony has a right to use others like that. I’ll even have a counsel with the other princesses, we’ll get this all sorted out, promise. I promise all of these things. I also apologize, I mean it, Anon. We’re supposed to be a team too, and I just did that without thinking about your feelings at all, and that’s wrong. I can really see that now.”

“Tch, Anon, are you really going to fall for something so sappy after making such a power move?” Chrysalis asked, finding Twilight’s apology disgustingly wimpy.

You nod, but you aren’t truly content. “I am, and that’s because, as friends, I need this all to work. Considering all the crap you’ve pulled that I’ve forgiven, Chrysalis, I think I can let this slide too.” You then look to Twilight. “I’m telling you Twilight, don’t do that again. I’m not Pinkie, or Aunt Fluttershy, or anypony else that will just look over stuff like this over and over. That was really screwed up, you get me?” No, like seriously, you were not going to hug this shit out like her friends would. “And please, try not to lose sleep over it either? What’s done is done. Egh…” You got what you wanted to say out, you would hope that it would serve as a reminder for Twilight not to pull this shit.

“I understand.” Twilight nods to you. She wanted to give you a reassuring hug, but she didn’t want to become overbearing when you seemed sensitive on the subject. “And Chrysalis? I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have tested you like that and-” But Chrysalis cuts her off.

“Save it, I don’t want to hear it nor do I need an apology from you. In retrospect, it was a well played and underhooved move, and let us leave it at that. I’d rather be moody from being tricked than be forgiven in such a pathetic manner. Either way, watching you writhe to such truths was entertaining, that more than makes up for your trick.” Chrysalis said

“Good.” Twilight said with a nod, smiling at her.

“Good? As in, what just happened to you was good? Or the fact that I won’t let you apologize is good?” Chrysalis was confused now, what did Twilight mean?

“I mean the former. I deserved it, and if that entertained you, then alright, I should have expected that it would. I think I’m beginning to understand you more, Chrysalis. I think, despite your scheming, we can become closer before we leave today.” Twilight said to her, feeling confident.

“Oooooooooogh, even when she’s torn down she’s insufferable.” Chrysalis groaned as she let her head plop onto her bed. “Maybe I really should have focused on Celestia, she wouldn’t have even tried to make friends with me with such disgusting attempts.”

Well, that was at least something. Twilight seemed to finally be on the ball, and Chrysalis was being less threatening as time went on. You looked down, then back at them. Was this it? Could you accomplish your goal? Hopefully, and hopefully at the same time, Chrysalis and Twilight would stop their shit. “Well, I’m just going to rewind this to the beginning then, and maybe we can see how that works out.” Well, Twilight had already seen the scariest thing the movie had to offer in terms of what a brainy pony she is. And if it let you get closer to Chrysalis, then Chrysalis should be able to get closer to Twilight if Twilight too enjoys what she is seeing. God, let her enjoy it.

Twilight sat there, feeling tense as she looked to the frozen screen. She looked to you, then back to the TV, still feeling apologetic about what had transpired. You yourself were just trying to let loose the tenseness you felt. Goddammit though, Twilight was a fucking handful, she better have actually understood what you told her or else that was it, you’d REALLY give her a reason to hide in her little castle and cry.

Chrysalis, who you gave control back to the movie player, just groaned as she rested her head on her legs. “Look, I know everypony is rather moody right now. And yes, I know this may surprise everypony as well, but I’d actually like to play the documentary and see what Twilight has to say about it.”

Twilight’s ears flicked in surprise as she looked back to Chrysalis, confused. “What? You’re actually interested in my input?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? I can sense that you’re probably thinking I just want to see you scared again, but let me tell you this; I adore this documentary, I love how it is presented, and I enjoy the soldiers who would have theoretically made perfect commanders for my…” Chrysalis stops there, she didn’t want to finish that sentence, she had no changeling children to compare to it. She sighed, and continued her admiration. “Well, in anycase, this documentary holds many ideologies and philosophies that, given you are Celestia’s annoying little scholar, I’d be interested in seeing your reactions and hearing your personal opinions. What, is that too suspicious a motive for you to agree to?”

“No! No…” Twilight wasn’t expecting that. While it still seemed she would enjoy Twilight being spooked by the film, it genuinely seemed like Chrysalis did want to have a discussion about it as well. “Is the… Erm, documentary that interesting?”

“Leaps and bounds more interesting than pony history, and is almost as interesting as my own, I promise you that. I really do mean what I said about wanting soldiers and commanders like them, not to mention all that wonderful technology. A hive is one thing, but to have an entire battleship. Mmmmm, it makes me salivate at times.” Chrysalis said, licking her lips as she let out a slight chuckle.

“I really doubt it can be that interesting.” Twilight says, suddenly feeling rather judgmental and dismissing of Chrysalis's notion. “And a battleship? With cannons and sails? We already have those. Are human battleships really that much better?”

“Geez, Twilight, instead of just questioning it, can we just watch it? All your questions will be answered if you just, I dunno, watch the dang thing?” You tell her. You had to admit, Chrysalis brought up a good point, Twilight’s reactions would be damned interesting to see, way too damn interesting to let her delay it with her suspicions and nagging.

“Fine, I will.” Twilight says in an almost childish manner as she fixes her gaze back to the TV. “But don’t expect me to change my mind.”

Chrysalis rolled her eyes as she finally pressed play, not even saying a word about it further. She just wanted to watch one of her favorite documentaries again.

And finally, the movie began proper. Twilight, in an instant, was already rolling her eyes. “A propaganda piece? Really? I thought this was a documentary.”

“Christ, Twilight, didn’t you just say you’d just watch it?” You ask her. Like damn, it wasn’t even a minute in yet.

“Right… I was just confused. I erm… Ok.” Twilight held her tongue. She didn’t even know why she spoke out like that, and yet, she suddenly had a memory of Starlight’s shack lingering in her mind. Perhaps she only thought of it due to her confusion. But then, when the next part showed the starships, space, and the blasting of meteors… Her eyes just lit up. “Whaaaaa?! There’s no way! I-is that actually up in space?! Meteors? Those cannons in proportion of the planet… No! That’s massive! And I always theorized there was no gravity in space, so for those giant space… thingys. Wait, Battleships! Those are the battleships?! How, what?! Bug planet? What is AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Twilight’s amazement suddenly became fright as she jumped back on the scene of the reporter being pierced by the bug soldier. Twilight almost looked like Fluttershy as she dared to peek at times at the violence going on. “Why do they show these parts?! Why can’t they just explain it?! How did they even get this kind of footage?! And those-” And finally, Chrysalis had enough and spoke up.

“Yes! We get it! You’re very impressed and intrigued! If I knew every detail was going to make you a motormouth I’d have just kicked you out and started planning for your annihilation! Unless it is something worth questioning, just…” Chrysalis sighed to herself as she rolled to her side. “Ugh, who am I kidding? It’s still impressive to see even now. Princess, just, I don’t know, try to be less pony about it. I’d like to be able to enjoy rewatching this without you jumping all over the place.”

Woah, was Chrysalis actually being semi friendly towards Twilight?! It could be just the fact she loves the movie and would like the chance to enjoy it again, but the fact she wasn’t trying to murder her for so many annoying questions could very well mean she secretly enjoys Twilight’s positive reactions just as much as her negative ones. Odd, but you may be overthinking it, it could just be the fact she’s easier to connect with when she’s having a good time… Or drunk. Because you still remember that, poor Caramel.

“Oh… Erm, right, I said I’d watch it. Something worth mentioning, got it.” Twilight said with a nod. But as the movie replayed, she couldn’t help but look back at Chrysalis for a moment. To her, it really was weird to see her acting friendly in any capacity. It made her internally smile, even if her mind was riddled with so many questions about what she was watching.

Of course, Twilight’s first real question would come soon after the classroom scene. She wouldn’t break her view of the screen, but she did have to speak up. “Why did he put so much emphasis over civilian and citizen? One can be both, can’t they? I noticed human language is almost identical to pony, so I’m just wondering if there is just a culture barrier there.”

“Well, no, it’s as he explained it, Twilight. Citizenship is essentially an honor to those who are willing to fight to defend their planet. And civilian… Well, basically isn’t. It’s just a matter of respect and all… And stuff.” Man, that was a bad explanation, but the movie already essentially gave the basics on it.

“I see… Well, that may work for humans, but we ponies understand that not everypony can fight.” Twilight states.

“That’s probably why you and your friends are the only ones capable of saving the kingdom all the time. And while that is me admitting that you are worthy of being called a citizen, it says a lot about the rest of you, now doesn’t it?” Chrysalis said mockingly.

“Hey! What is that supposed to mean?! We also have the Wonderbolts and the Royal Guards for each princess but myself, not to mention a police force in such cities like Manehatten.” Twilight said, trying to correct Chrysalis.

“It’ll mean plenty when you see how humans train. Now hush, we’ll discuss more AFTER the war declaration.” Chrysalis said, trying to enjoy the movie while hushing Twilight.

“Ok, but why does this documentary have such a focus on ‘Johnny Rico’? Oh! Unless he’s-” Holy crap, you had to interrupt her.

“Twilight! C’mon, just watch more of the documentary already! Yeesh!” You didn’t even want to sound too harsh, it was kind of cute. But in the end, it would get grating to hear Twilight piping up every second like a child.

“Right, ok. I won’t say another word until after that war declaration part. But I might still have a lot of questions right-” But Twilight stops herself when she sees both you and Chrysalis slowly turn and look at her, obviously annoyed. She just gulped, tapped at her forehead, and stopped herself from talking. Christ, she was acting almost like Pinkie Pie.

Luckily for the both of you, Twilight stayed silent for most of the beginning part of the movie. In fact, she kind of looked on in awe with all the ‘would you like to know more’ segments going on, and some of the stuff like the ESP and Rico’s life. Twilight looked like she did want to know more, she did look like she wanted to ask how to know more on said segments, but she kept it to herself to let the movie play. She was just kinda sitting there like a puppy, waving her tail back and forth as she absorbed knowledge. It was actually pretty adorable to see.

And then when the training scenes popped up, Chrysalis finally said. “You know, Princess, you can ask SOME questions if you like. I’d like to see how my ideas line up with yours thus far.” Obviously, Chrysalis couldn't wait to at least hear some of her opinions thus far.

Twilight looked back in surprise. She could see Chrysalis was relaxed, laying there, as if she was anypony else. Of course, her words, it made her curious to do just that. “Well, so far things seem very advanced technologically more than magically. In fact, it seems that humans being magicless is very true, as if to balance out the fact that their technological prowess is second to none. Though, their training seems a little-GYAH! Did he really throw that knife into his hand?! Why?!”

Chrysalis had a chuckle at that as she answers Twilight’s question. “He thought himself too good. That seems to be a thing with untrained humans. Really, Twilight, though you haven’t seen much of what a good soldier can do right now, humans at their full potential and their weaponry are very deadly indeed. And as you can see, they aren’t afraid to cause great pain to one another to teach a lesson in discipline. Of course, thinking about it now, if my changelings were to mimic human form and somehow gain their weapons… Well, even you have to agree it’d be a clean sweep of a victory.”

“Chrysalis…” Twilight stands to face her. Obviously Twilight wasn’t too keen on her saying that she would easily wipe the floor with a pony army. “We have well trained soldiers and guardsponies at the ready, some trained by my brother. If what you said would happen, then you must know that it wouldn’t be that easy for you, and with sheer will and superior trust in one another, we would defeat you.”

Chrysalis began to laugh even harder, pointing at Twilight in humored disbelief. “Are you serious?! Are you truly serious?! When has your little fighting force stopped ANYTHING? No, seriously, Princess, tell me. Aside from silly little intruders, every evil force that has shown itself has wiped the floor with ALL of Equestria’s main defenses. And yes, that includes your utterly useless ‘Wonderbolts’. Name one time, Twilight Sparkle, One time. If you can name one time, I’ll give up right now and become your new friend. Go on, do it!”

“Ok! Well, there was…” Twilight’s ears stiffened as her eyes widened, she then began to stutter a bit as she rubbed under her chin, thinking. “W-well, there was… And uh… I mean… No, we did that. And Discord, and Tirek, and you… Sombra… Pony of Shadows... Is there…” Twilight winced as her ears folded. Was it true? Were they really useless? Was her brother really useless when a major threat appeared? “W-well, I-I can still say that my friends and I have stood up against everything evil has thrown at us…” But Twilight didn’t sound too confident saying that, considering how defenseless Equestria now seemed. Even Celestia and Luna… They couldn’t stop anything anymore.

The way she looked, the way she was shaking. Like fuck, you didn’t want her world view destroyed or anything, that was a tad much. “Um, Twilight, I mean… Villains just do things good guys aren’t willing to do, right? The guards and stuff, y’know, seems like villains in Equestria can only really be stopped by rainbow blasts and stuff… Stuff, erm… .” God, how do you make them sound useful?

“To avoid you having some crisis, I’ll just agree with Anon. Beings such as myself are very powerful threats. Just look at the situation you find yourself in now. You and I are tied to a thread of fate, one only you can settle.” Chrysalis said with a chuckle to herself. “Perhaps that was a tad too poetic, but it’s the truth. Come now, Princess, you’ve gone this long defeating those who threaten Equestria, why should you let it bother you now? Sit back, relax, we’re all friends here… For now.”

“She’s right, Twilight. You never complained before. Is it really so bad? They just do the basic defensive stuff, and you and the girls handle the usual seasonal big bads.” You explain, it sounded fine to you.

“Ugh, don’t you get it? The Wonderbolts, the princesses, the royal guards, they should be able to stop at least one single major threat. And the princesses used to… And, and…” Twilight fell over in a slump, her mood utterly destroyed. “My brother goes through so much trouble to train his troops… and Discord and Tirek were able to walk right over them. Chrysalis managed to fool everypony, and when she invaded, nopony could stop her or her changeling army.” Twilight said as she covered her face in shame.

“Twilight, get off my floor, you look more pathetic than usual.” Chrysalis said as she hovered up and landed beside her. “If it’ll make you feel better and stop this useless interruption, then I will remind you it was your brother and Princess Cadance who ended up stopping me. You know this, and yet you’re so mired by my insult that you’d just rather be forgetful and annoying. Let me put it in a way you can understand, you need large amounts of power to stop somepony like me, something usually only you and your friends possess. Understand now? Can we continue?”

“Something only me and my friends possess? But… In that case, my brother and Cadance have it too. Or really…” Twilight begins to stand as she suddenly comes to a powerful realization. “How could I forget?! How could I lose sight of it for even a second?! Friendship is the most powerful force there is, that’s why my friends and I can use the elements in the first place, that’s why friendship and love can overcome any obstacle! And somehow, I forgot that! Haha! It was right in front of me and I missed it. The soldiers, the Wonderbolts, they could probably use some friendship training to help fight off evil better. Wow!” Twilight turned to look to Chrysalis with a smile. “Chrysalis, I’m impressed, really. I never thought I could be reminded of a good lesson like that by somepony like you.”

“U-uhhh, w-w-what?” Chrysalis said in a stutter, taking a step back.

“You know, the magic of friendship. I never thought you could have that much of a grasp on it. You and Anon did save Equestria too, even if it was another universe. You know that power, you know what it can do. Deep inside, you have love, and you know it, that’s why you understand it the way you do now. Maybe we don’t have the humans’ training, but we do have what really counts to protect the world, right here.” Twilight says as she taps at her chest. “And I’m glad to know how wrong I was about you. That deep down inside, you do care, oh so much.”

Chrysalis was visibly shaking, her eye twitching. “All that from pointing out the truth of the situation?! Ngh! I’m going to be sick! How is it you ponies can twist every little thing into something positive and, tch, good?”

“Because we are good, Chrysalis, and so are you, I know it, and Anon knows it.” Twilight said with a determined nod.

Chrysalis then looked to you with a snarl. “Don’t even say anything, I know you want to.”

You shrugged, placed on your horn, and made a sign appear that said. ‘You did save my life more than once, you’re like a sister to me. How many times do you need to be reminded? Because I’ll keep doing that. Woo, check out how long this sign is! Eat at Doughnut Joe’s!’

Chrysalis narrowed her eyes at you and began to point, but then rolled her eyes, hovered back to her place on her bed, and put the movie back on play. “This was the worst mistake I ever made…” Chrysalis said with a groan as she waves her hoof towards the movie. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore, it has nothing to do with the documentary. So let us continue.”

And continue it did, though Twilight did have a bit of a giggle, feeling more calmed to see Chrysalis more light hearted than usual. However, then came the infamous coed shower scene. And this caught the attention of not only you… due to bewbs, but also the attention of Chrysalis and Twilight in so many different ways. While Twilight stared on, Chrysalis had to stop the movie as she began to dart her eyes around.

“Chrysalis? You ok?” You immediately noticed her get up as the movie paused, she looked like she was looking for something to hunt, to kill.

“Quiet” She said in a low voice as she began to skulk around, floating up to the ceiling to remain hidden. “I sense an intruder.”

“What?!” Twilight stood up, her horn lit up for a fight. “Is it dangerous? Because I’m willing to help t-” But Chrysalis cut her off with a snarl.

“Silence, idiot! The whole point is to not let it know that we know.” Chrysalis said.

“Well…” You whisper “What the hell is it? Where is it? Because I can just blast that shit myself with my horn.”

“I don’t know for sure, but it might have a taste for beautiful mares… Such as myself. Yes, I smell two sources of lust. One obviously being you because you’ll mate with anything that has a female voice… And…” Chrysalis skulked about the ceiling, right until she was right above Twilight. She looked down at her, while Twilight looked up at her. Chrysalis’s eyes then went wide. “No…. Ohhhh noooooo, this can’t be real.”

“W-what can’t be real? C-chrysalis, why are you looking at me… CHRYSALIS!?” Twilight jumped back as Chrysalis fell down, landing on her side. “Chrysalis, are you alright?! What happened?!”

But Chrysalis was rolling on the ground now, laughing near uncontrollably.

“Oh no… She’s acting super weird.” You gulped, and slowly approached her. “Chrysalis, you alright? Are… you being tickled by an invisible thing? Or are you, uh? How does your sanity feel?”

“Hahaha! Anon! Hahaha! You idiot! She’s the other source! Do you know what that means?!” Chrysalis said, unable to gain her composure.

“A-Anon, i-is she going to be ok? Does she normally act like this?” Twilight asked, fearing for Chrysalis’s health.

“Not really. This is kinda new. What could she have meant by that? Other source? She? I think she means you, but…” You look at Twilight for a moment, then look back at the TV to see Rico showering in pause, then back at Twilight, then back at Rico… And then your pupils shrank as it hit you. You nearly flew back as you pointed at her. “Holy crap! It’s canon!”

“What?! Canon? As in, like a book?! Anon, what’s going on?! What’s with you and Chrysalis?!” Twilight truly didn’t understand what was happening, and it was scaring her.

“Y-you fool, haha! You moron, hehe!” Chrysalis slowly stood up, and pointed towards the television. “You’re the second source of lust! You actually find the human physique attractive! No wonder you’re single with no prince! How does that even happen?! It’s too absurd! So pathetic!”

“What?! N-no I don’t! What?! I’m a pony! He’s a human, a human in a documentary! We’re completely incompatible and… Wait, are you assuming I can’t get a coltfriend?! I mean, I can, I just never really saw the need to! And Anon, I’m surprised at you! You definitely know that isn’t true! So why do you find it horri-GYAH!? What are you doing?!” Twilight was taken aback as you held up a giant signboard with your magic, of a realistic human, buff, posing in his underwear. Twilight was just stunned by it, and then… She began to blush.

“Holy crap! You’re blushing! It’s true! Oh my god!” Holy fuck! HOLY FUCK!

“I AM not! I just… I, why am I even staring at it?!” Twilight turned away, covering her eyes with her wings. “I-I just don’t understand what you both are talking about!”

Chrysalis was finally beginning to calm down as she removed a tear from her eye. “It’s very simple, Princess. I can sense emotions, some better than others, love and lust being the easiest for me. You were emitting lust on this very scene, and for Anon’s signboard. You can’t hide it, and it is most hilarious. Really, to think Anon would have had a chance with you had Discord kept him in his original form.”

“Really? W-woah…” You began to blush. You really could have had Twilight, huh? Would have been nice to be a prince.

“Probably not, she seems like the type who would put your head on a pike for even looking at another mare. Or you’d die from all her nagging. A cruel way to lose one’s life.” Chrysalis said with a snicker as she climbed back onto her bed.

“I am not like that! I am not attracted to humans! I will never be attracted to Anon! I am not a nag! I have never nagged anypony to death! Ever! You’re both wrong! Grrr!” Twilight rushed up and swiped the remote from Chrysalis and began to examine it, noticed the play button, and began to rapidly tap at it. “Grr! Let’s just watch the documentary! We’re wasting time talking about something that ISN’T TRUE!”

“Whatever you say, Princess.” Chrysalis snickered

Oh god, it really is canon, even when the mirror isn’t. Christ, how horrifying. Though, you couldn’t help but snicker to yourself, that was pretty funny.

Twilight, now mired by her own frustration, kept her focus on the film without saying a word. Like, hell, even during the laser tag and the head shot during the training bit, she said nothing despite the noticeable twitch at such a horrid and needless death. After another moment, you just had to ask. “Twilight, geez, can you stop? Welcome to how our friendship works, you got teased, so what? You like humans, who cares? Dad bothers you all the time and you don’t usually let it simmer that bad.”

Twilight grumbled, then looked to you with a grumpy stare. “Your father, who isn’t really your father by the way, has never thrown my… Umm.” Twilight had to stop herself as she tried to come up with a word for her lust that didn’t make her look like some sort of freak. “ ‘interests’ in my face like that.”

“What, humans? You didn’t even know you had a thing for them until like, a few minutes ago.” You remind her.

She then throws up her hooves, groaning as she exclaims. “I know! I know that! How was I supposed to know I’d find humans attractive!? And interesting! And strong… No, just no! I refuse to say anything else about it! Let’s just watch the documentary and…”

“You just missed the part where Rico’s entire home, as in, Buenos Aires, was just obliterated by that meteor. My my, look at that death count.” Chrysalis said, smiling and pointing with her hoof as she awaited Twilight’s next reaction.

“Wait, wh-AH!? H-how?” Twilight just watched the horror, the death count, the whole news, the fact that was Rico’s home and he had just… So that’s why things went dark. “They just… All those innocent people. They didn’t even have a chance to…” Twilight put her hooves to her mouth in shock before her eyes shifted to you. “Anon, this life, this world. I never knew it could be so… I’m so sorry.”

Ohhhhhh… Fuck, now she wants to say something about it? This wasn’t like it was with Chrysalis, she didn’t give a shit about what you possibly went through. But for someone like Twilight, it must have looked like you came from a real hellhole. “Oh, uh… Twilight, it’s ok, really. That’s just kinda how things… Er, went?”

“I don’t know how you can say that…” Twilight twitched, as if she was in pain. She brought her hoof to her chest and closed her eyes. “Or maybe I just can never grasp why. We ponies never had to deal with something like that. The closest would have to be the crystal ponies, and even then, Sombra wasn’t so grim as to just annihilate them. I don’t know what to say, I just, I suddenly have a need to protect you. To make sure you’d never have to go through anything like this… Ever.”

Holy shit, relax your fucking tits, Twilight. “I uh… Um, thanks? Twilight, it really isn’t that big of a deal.”

“Hmph, and yet you use the excuse of my children being ‘better off’ despite your mentor essentially destroying our way of life. Typical thoughtlessness of a princess.” Chrysalis said as she continued to focus her gaze on the movie.

Twilight looked to Chrysalis, more serious this time, feeling Celestia was right in what she did. “She made their lives better! And she wasn't the only one there, Thorax helped too. Really, it was your own child that helped his siblings find love and friendship. That’s why he’s the king now.”

Chrysalis shuddered at that, grimaced at the very thought. It made her think for a moment, however. As much as she hated Celestia, Thorax did share a lot of the blame as well. She did want him destroyed, especially for essentially usurping the throne. But she had been so lost in her vengeance that she had not even paid him too much mind compared to the Sun Princess. Now it didn’t even matter, Twilight was her target, and to have this argument now would just lead to an annoying loop she didn’t want to deal with. “I don’t care about that anymore anyway. Just focus on the documentary, interesting things are about to happen.”

Twilight nearly opened her mouth to say something further, but only because she expected a verbal fight with Chrysalis. No, the fact she just resigned to focusing on the documentary just made Twilight feel bad for her. She really had nothing, despite being this evil being, she was still prone to hurt. Twilight knew why she was there, what she had agreed to, so she nodded and focused on the film again. “I will, and will be ready for any more discuss… Are those cutie marks?” Twilight loses her train of thought and then winces on the way tattoos were being inked in. “A-ahm, that doesn’t look very, u-umm, special talenty.”

“It’s called a tattoo, Twilight. It’s just permanent body art representing what we stand for or like. There isn’t any magic in this world, trust me, that’s pretty much just body ink.” You tell her.

“O-oh, ok, that’s simple enough to understand.” Twilight said with a nod.

Further still the movie went, from Rico’s confrontation with Zander, to Rico nearly dying in that night combat. Twilight was amazed at space life, while also questioning the focus on Rico’s relationship with Carmen and why it seemed so rocky. The rejuvenation tank and mini nukes really caught her eye though. Mostly due to the destructive power in such a small device and the healing properties of such a tank without the use of herbs or magic. She asked you for some details on them, but alas, you couldn’t really tell her much about it, for obvious reasons. She was disappointed, but pressed on, up until.

“Ah, there he is. Lieutenant Jean Rasczak.” Chrysalis said with a salute “Of the few humans I have come to enjoy from a distance, he is in my top three. A truly respectable human”

“What? Hey, isn’t he Rico’s teacher?” Twilight asked “That is him, what is he doing here?”

“He’s a soldier, and a proof of concept about being a citizen. This man truly knows no fear and knows what he must do for the sake of his kind.” Chrysalis said.

“I see. Well, in that case, I’m excited to see the kind of man he is.” Twilight said, excited to see what comes next. It seems she was finally getting used to the violence. Up until… “I was wrong! What kind of man is that?! He just shot him! He could have been rescued!” Of course, she was talking about the poor soldier grabbed and mauled by the hopper bug.

“No he couldn’t. The moment that bug grabbed him, that soldier was done for. What he gave him was a mercy killing, something he’d expect he’d get should he find himself in a similar situation.” Chrysalis explains.

“No… There had to be a way. I can’t just accept that humans were essentially expendable in times of war. Anon, it wasn’t like that, right? It just seems so…” Twilight just couldn’t believe it. She already had to deal with humans dying, but for one to be shot by their own for the sake of a mercy killing?

“Twilight, Chrysalis is right. These bugs aren’t like anything you’ve ever seen. You should already know that, they are merciless. If they ever attacked Equestria, well…” You don’t finish that sentence, just those words should paint a picture in her mind.

“I…” Twilight gulped and turned to Chrysalis, wanting an opinion. “Chrysalis, d-do you think that too?”

“Sadly, and as much as I hate to admit, yes. Those things are more numerous than my hive ever was, and their source of food doesn’t seem to require their prey to be living. Earth ponies stand no chance, and the flying bugs are agile enough to destroy pegasi. For magic users, such as myself, unicorns, or alicorns, you would need not only powerful new spells that could wipe out cities, but also the mettle to use said spells to even stand a chance. Hesitate for even a moment and you’re dead.” Chrysalis explained.

“D-dead?” Twilight said, gulping as she brought a hoof to her neck.

“Indeed, I would probably have to shoot you just to give you a mercy killing after your hesitation causes you to be overwhelmed. Or maybe I wouldn’t shoot you. Hmm…” Chrysalis said as she amused herself with the thought of Twilight being torn apart.

Twilight looked impacted by the thought, in a way that suggests inner denial, then looked to the lieutenant on the screen and protested. “Well, he says that, but I guarantee if he was in a similar situation, he’d beg for help! And if I was in the situation of being able to help him, I would, because that’s what’s right! And that’s AGGHHH! GIANT BUG! HIS ARM! WHAT IS IT DOING?!”

“Just watch, Princess. You obviously haven’t learned enough yet.” Chrysalis says as she watches the screen intently. “I love this part, just look at Rico go.”

And the scene plays out like it always does, with Rico jumping on the giant tank bug,shooting through its back, and tossing a grenade inside, killing the bug instantly. Jean makes Rico corporal with the famous line which Chrysalis silently mouths to herself. “You’re it, until you’re dead or I find someone better.”

You look over to Chrysalis, noticing this, and ask her. “Hey, Chrysalis, am I still your corporal?”

“Shut up, Anon.” Chrysalis replied, but it wasn’t in a sour manner. Well, it was, but not in a way that sounded like she really wanted you to shut up at all. This made you smile.

Twilight watched the campout scene contently. You thought she’d question some of the going ons, but kept things to herself up until…

“GYAH! ARE THEY GOING TO…?!” Twilight hid her face. “Why would… I mean, I know Rico and Carmen are over, but they aren’t even married, and AND…”

“Relax, Twilight, nothing is gonna get shown. Unless…” You look to Twilight with a sneaky little grin. “Are you imagining yourself as Dizzy right now? Imagining Rico picking up your small pony body, snuggling you close, those abs warmly pressed across your belly as he lowers you down and…” And as expected, Twilight snaps back, bright red and flustered as hell.

“STOP! STOP RIGHT THERE!” Twilight got up and stomped over to you, yelling and pointing at you. “I said, I SAID, I was NOT interested in humans! And that fantasy is your fantasy that you came up with and it is just SICK that you’d imagine me doing dirty things with Johnny Rico! How could you do that, Anon, just how?!”

You could already hear Chrysalis giggling at this, and it kind of spurred you on to continue. Like fuck man, sure Twilight apologized, but she still used you, so you were going to milk this as much as possible. Hell, she still agreed with Celestia deep down, so fuck her. She may be sorry, but she still believes in Celestia. “I dunno, for all I know you were imagining yourself as a human and him as a pony. I don’t know how you think, Twilight, like damn, you’re the one blushing, so you tell me what’s going on in your head.”

“I’m not blushing! I wasn’t thinking that either! If I was, Chrysalis would know!” Twilight turned to her while she pointed at you. “Chrysalis, tell Anon how wrong he is! Maybe I had something before, but that was probably just due to experiencing something odd for the first time, it was obviously some sort of odd reaction that wouldn’t happen again.”

“You can say whatever you want, Princess. But your taste has piqued. As empty as it is, your lust is making such a delicious little treat right now. So please, go on, I’m willing to let this one go for just a bit longer.” Chrysalis said in a delighted cackle.

“Ngh?!” Twilight felt devastated, if Chrysalis was feeding off her lust, then that meant she really was attracted to him. Twilight fell over on her back and began to squirm. “How could this happen?! This isn’t like me, I shouldn’t be feeling this at all!”

“It’s called a fetish, Twilight. We all have one, sometimes more than one. Yours just happens to be really exotic. It’s normal.” Man, even the Twilight with the… Well, no, she fucking sperged like mad when she BECAME human, but she didn’t react like this when she realized she had a crush on human Flash.

“Normal?! Humans aren’t even part of Equestria! None of how I feel is normal! Why would I even feel this way at all?! Somepony, please, tell me! It’s driving me nuts!” Twilight said as she continued to whine and roll on the ground, haunted by her thoughts.

“Well, Rico is handsome, strong, obviously good with the ladies, athletic, and gets the job done. Seems you’re attracted to males who are actually capable of taking down a powerful threat.” Chrysalis winces falsely as she says that “Oooooh, and here I thought the blue one would become the crazy cat mare. There really isn’t any stallions who fit such a high standard, is there?”

“High standards?! I have normal standards!” Twilight yelled out, standing up so she can point at Chrysalis accusingly. “And if I am to understand what the word ‘fetish’ means, then no, I don’t have a human fetish either! I just… Aghm. Ahrm.” Twilight realized now she was kind of sounding like a raving lunatic. She took a moment, cleared her throat, and calmed down. “If anything, I just have a ‘fetish’ for high achievement.”

“So what you’re saying is that you still have a sexual lust for Rico and, considering what Chrysalis said about Rico and what seems to be your definition for ‘achievement’, your standards are still really high. Got it.” You say to Twilight, raising your hoof to mockingly signify that you understood.

“Yes!... WAIT, I MEAN NO!” Twilight said as she looked at you with such surprise and denial that she began to immediately look disheveled and crazy. “THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT! I JUST MEAN… Ogh, oh no. What am I even saying anymore?” Twilight fell on her belly and covered her face in shame. “I don’t want to admit it. But it looks like it might be true. I have a thing for humans. How did this even happen?”

“Well, for one, you decided to watch the documentary. For two… Nope, nah, that’s about it. You decided to watch the documentary and just so happen to have a thing for humans. It’s as simple as that.” You said with a shrug as you hide your smile. God damn, this really was just better than Luna’s spaz. Twilight didn’t even have the will to argue this, she was just going nuts over the thought.

Twilight grimaced, twitched, then finally gave up upon hearing those words. “I feel ashamed.”

“I do too, that was the most shameful display from a royal I have ever seen. Makes us all look bad, even me.” Chrysalis said with a false groan, stealthily using her magic to bring the remote close to her. “But now that I have the remote once again, I DEMAND we continue. There’s not much left and I want you to see something, Princess.”

“I don’t know if I can see anything else, what if I end up being attracted to one of those bug things?” Twilight said, almost to herself, as she shivered in disdain at the thought and at herself for saying it.

Holy damn, is Twilight gonna be broken at the end of this? Who knew Starship Troopers would have been the thing that does her in?

And so you were all focused on the movie once again. Rasczak and his Roughnecks began searching the outpost that sent out the distress signal. Twilight’s eyes were affixed on the screen once again, watching in wonder and yet disgust as they examine the corpses. Indeed, having seen the scene with Zander and Carmen before, she already knew that the brain bug had feasted on their brains. When they found the cowering general, Twilight again was upset that they would treat him so awfully after he was traumatized by witnessing such a horrible act.

And then, they struck.

“It was a trap?! There’s too many! They can’t possibly hold them off!” Twilight called out. “Come on… This can’t be the end! It just can’t!”

“Like a child…” Chrysalis said to herself before calling out something to Twilight’s attention. “Keep your eye on the screen, Princess. The scene I want you to see is about to come.”

“Oh no.. They don’t make it, d- WAIT! There it is, the escape ship! Come on, come on!” Twilight was getting excited, it was so close. When Zander popped out to rally the soldiers in, hope filled her eyes. Up until… “Oh no! The lieutenant! His legs, and…” And then, that’s when it happened. Twilight put her hooves to her mouth the moment Rico went through with shooting him on his command. “Why…? He could have made it…”

“He couldn’t, and he didn’t want to burden his soldiers with any more possible loss. He really did expect the same. The soldiers hauling him off could have bitten the dust just the same as him due to being slowed down, and he knew that. And, ah, and now she’s dead too.” Chrysalis said as Dizzy, Rico’s newest love interest, is killed on screen.

“No!” Twilight called out before tears filled her eyes. “Why? WHY?! IT’S SO SENSELESS!” Twilight screamed, smashing her hooves to the ground. “Those things! Those bugs. They have no heart, they don’t have a soul. All they seem to do is senselessly end lives for no reason, throwing themselves into gunfire without care just to… To…” Twilight slumped down, tears still flowing. “I see what you mean now, Chrysalis. I didn’t understand how terrible this war could really be until I saw that. It’s all so senseless, and yet the humans will bravely fight on and risk their lives for their home. But…” Twilight then turns to Chrysalis, confused about something. “Humans are obviously good, honorable, and they care and love for one another. So why do you care about them? Don’t you hate all of that?”

Chrysalis suddenly froze. That question, put in that way, asked by Twilight herself. Chrysalis had her reasons, sure, but now she was second guessing herself due to the situation she found herself in and the fact that Twilight was asking as if she was already friends with her. Chrysalis pondered, and then said. “As I told Anon, I find the fact that they can fight and are willing to end those who oppose them favorable traits. Also, the fact they are brave, capable, intelligent, and strong means that they could actually put up a fight. And then there are all their wonderful little toys, many of them I’d not mind having myself. The fact they fight for good can be overlooked… I suppose.”

“But that’s what I don’t get. Why are you willing to overlook the good humans have done? Why do you overlook that Anon is no longer a human, and is integrated to pony society? Why can’t you overlook the good we’ve done? It makes no sense to-EEP!” Twilight steps back as Chrysalis suddenly stands up, hops from her bed, and slams down onto the ground.

“That’s none of your business! And it is something you will never be able to understand! You ponies are way too simple minded and weak to ever understand. You are and will always be food to us! Do you understand me?! Look how long it took you to even grasp the humans within this documentary! You’re supposed to be the smart one, and yet you know nothing! Do you know why it doesn’t make any sense to you?! Do you?! Well, I’ll tell you! It’s because all you ponies are the same, and do nothing but ‘care’ and ‘love’ and ‘feel’ without thinking of others like me who need such things from you to survive! And even then, despite all this, ponies can’t even defend themselves without you and your friends shooting a rainbow at whatever comes along to ruin your pathetic little ‘harmony’. You’re beneath me, Twilight Sparkle, there’s your answer! Now sit down, watch the end to this, and get out of my house!” Chrysalis said as she stomped closer to Twilight, looking down at her in an imposing manner.

“C-Chrysalis, h-hey, calm down. Twilight just asked a dumb question, that’s all. L-let’s just relax, drop the subject, and-” But Twilight, ignoring you, steps up to Chrysalis’s challenge.

“I will. But I have to let you know, Chrysalis, you’re wrong! Ponies work very hard to maintain friendships, their lives, and the love they have for everypony. It’s why even now we were able to ally ourselves with dragons and griffons and-AGH!” Twilight found herself grabbed by a chaotic aura, and slammed upwards into the ceiling.

“Dammit, Twilight! Stop! That’s not gonna help! Especially now! I told you, I TOLD YOU, to keep your cool! But no, NOOOO, you had to go all ‘Twilight Mode’, didn’t you? All I wanted out of this was a decent understanding and for us to watch this movie to the end, and yet you just HAD to be you and try to question and learn and debate when THIS ISN’T THE TIME TO DO IT!” You said as you growled at her, using your magic to keep her on the ceiling.

“A-Anon, I was just. Ngh, I-I had to try something, I don’t think she even understands her own reasoning. I just wanted to help.” Twilight said as she struggled to free herself.

“You ponies took everything away from me! Your ‘help’ was never asked for or required. But…” Chrysalis began to snicker when she realized she had her chance. She looked to you, bearing a cruel smile, and nodded. “Do it, Anon, crush her to a pulp! Now’s the time! You can see it, can’t you?! She’ll never change! She’ll never respect you!”

“A-Anon…” Twilight’s eyes went wide when she heard those words. Considering her predicament, could you really…?

“I won’t do it, Chrysalis. You know I won’t.” You tell her as you ease your grip on Twilight. “I’m sorry that she upset you, but I’m not going to go that far, and you’re not helping yourself wanting me to destroy her. Let’s all just calm the fuck down and finish the damn documentary!”

“But we’re so close! Anon, don’t do this! You’re the only friend I have left…” Chrysalis’s gaze becomes softer, pleading, even pathetic even. “Don’t betray me too… J-just do it…”

She was faking it, she just wanted Twilight dead at any cost. Goddammit! Twilight! Chrysalis! WHY?! WHY DID YOU PUT SO MUCH FUCKING EFFORT INTO THIS!? WAS THIS WORTH IT?! S-Starlight. The only reason that went so well was because she was a pony, was that it? That her will was weak? No, the reason why THIS isn’t working is because Chrysalis, despite her pain, is stubborn, and refuses to see the good of ponykind. DAMMIT! FUCK IT ALL!

You grab Chrysalis within the same aura and slam her into the ceiling. You then look to Twilight and Chrysalis with an angry and dark gaze as you growl at the both of them. “The both of you, just… STOP! I tried, I fucking tried, but I don’t know how much more I can take! Chrysalis, you want to know the REAL reason you won’t fucking change?! DO YOU?! It’s because you relish being evil and one note for NO FUCKING REASON! I’m your friend, I tried and I tried, but all you want to do is be evil for no damn reason! I get it, you loved your kids, but you were KILLING them when they could have produced the food themselves! I did my best to be there for you, I did my best in helping you, and I held it together for all the times you used me for your own ends. You bitch, and you bitch, about how I’m being manipulated… AND YET YOU DO THE SAME SHIT! I can’t do it anymore! And Twilight…” You look to her as you narrow your eyes at her. “Shut the FUCK up, just shut the FUCK up! God damn, you and your questions and your need to know and your want to make things better was NOT SOMETHING I NEEDED RIGHT NOW! I said keep your cool, and yet you couldn’t do it! And guess what?! Now everything is ruined! Ruined…” You couldn’t anymore, this had to come to an end. So you look to Chrysalis again, your eye twitching as you give her the most serious look you’ve ever given her. “I’m tired, Chrysalis. So tired. Do it, plan your plan, and do it. And when it fails, you have two choices, keep your word or fight me, because the way I see it, it’s either you try or I fight you like the villain you are. Twilight, at this point, you know what I want, you know what I expect. Keep your word, stop Chrysalis when she executes her plan, and that’s it. So damn tired of this.”

“So… Now is when you finally decide to take charge, how cute. Well then, I accept it.” Chrysalis says as she calms herself, catching you both by surprise and suspicion.

“What? So you’re not gonna say anything about that? You’re actually going to listen to me? What’s your game, Chrysalis, because I don’t feel like playing it right now.” You really didn’t.

“No game, Anon, I actually feel quite proud of you right now, you’re actually showing your humanity for once. You’re right, I suppose I’ve been too controlling and manipulative towards you. I’ll calm down, for you. There is no reason for a fight now, is there? No, no there isn’t. In fact, Anon, I suppose I truly don’t like seeing you so upset, especially at me. I understand your endgame, I’ll make sure it doesn’t come to that. No, in fact, I promise we’ll be closer than ever by the end of all this.” Chrysalis said, as calmly as she could without sounding like she had a secret motive.

“Whatever you say…” You say in a tired sigh as you look over to Twilight. “Twilight, we’re going home. The movie pretty much over anyway. You saw the brain bug part, they blew up her cave, captured her, and that’s it. Not much else to it, you saw the important parts, you can contemplate on it however you want.”

“Anon…” Twilight silently said. She truly could see it now, she didn’t realize just how far you had been pushed, that even Chrysalis herself had pushed you so far despite all the effort you put in to defend her. Indeed, just like what she saw when it came to you and Starlight, she realized you went beyond what anyone would expect to defend those you care about. But at this point, she could also see you were tired and even possibly giving up on the friendship you spent so long and worked so hard to keep. “...Ok, and… I’m sorry.” This time, Twilight didn’t expect you to accept it. She spent so long trying to understand it all, even overstepping herself. She felt obligated to help you even more now, but… She didn’t know how.

“...Whatever. We’re leaving. Chrysalis, just… Just take care. Ok?” You say with an exasperated sigh.

“I shall, until we meet again, Anon. And I promise, things will be changing soon.” Chrysalis says as she does a little bow towards you.

“Yeah…” You take a deep breath, and then look to Twilight. “I’m sending you back to your office, I’m going home… I just want to go home…”

“Anon, you don’t have to, I-I’d like a chanc-” But you cut her off, you just didn’t want to deal with it right now.

“No, I just don’t feel like anything right now. Whatever, bye.” And with that, you cast your teleportation spell. And while Twilight is indeed sent back to her office, you end up on your bed.

You just laid there, hugging onto your pillow. All that effort, all that time, everything, and now it was truly feeling like a waste. Twilight just couldn’t keep her shit to herself, why did you even think that she could? And Chrysalis? Why? Why can’t she change? Why won’t she just get with the fucking program?! Was it you? Did you think you could fight a trope you knew wouldn’t be that easy to counter? Was it fate? Was it fated for Chrysalis just to lose and be evil? Even with all this power, all the power in the damn world, you couldn’t fix it. You could never fix it, you never had a chance. Now you don’t even know. Is it even Twilight’s fault? The world sustains itself on love and friendship, it requires it. Without it, the windigos would fuck everything up anyway. Maybe that's why Twilight was such a tryhard, it was because it pretty much means doom when it comes to such instances. And given she's the Princess of Friendship...

Like damn, when you consider that, it does give the ponies some ammo as to why things had to be a certain way. But fucking dammit, just the same, it just…

Chrysalis, please, just see it…

Why couldn’t she see it?

Time has passed…

An hour, maybe two, and you still struggled to grasp what had happened. Twilight and Chrysalis were finally connecting! And yet, they just had to, they just had to go at odds with each other. Chrysalis had to be a bitch and Twilight just couldn’t hold back her curiosity and friendship bullshit. Why?! Why can’t she change?! Why can’t Twilight leave things alone? Why does no one seem to understand? Hell, why can’t you yourself make things work? Even with unlimited magic, you couldn’t succeed. Why do you even bother anymore?

“Hmph, and there’s the little chaos artist now.” Said a voice, sounding rather annoyed with you. “Just had to out-stage my award winning skills by confirming Twilight having a thing for humans. Anon, I hope you realize you went a little too far this time with teasing Twilight and I expect an apology from you this instant! But also, take your time, I want your apology to be worthy of my amazing ears.”

Discord?

You look over and do indeed see Discord, hovering at the end of the bed, waiting impatiently for some reason. He just rolled his paw at you, demanding your apology. “While we’re young, Anon. I’m the forgiving sort today, so you needn’t hesitate.”

Your eyes went near red with rage. You stood up, pointed at him, and began to yell. “YOU FUCK! EVERYTHING JUST WENT TO SHIT AND YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT THAT?! THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! DO YOU REALIZE HOW FUCKED EVERYTHING IS?!”

“I was there, Anon, I was watching the entire thing. Why do you think I came here? Your deluded mission is one thing, but out-performing me is an offense I don’t plan to take lightly.” Discord says as he brandishes a rapier towards you. “En guarde, Anon!”

Is that all he cared about?! Of course it is, It’s him after all! He LOVED fucking with Twilight, so of course he was gonna get pissed at such a stupid fucking little insignificant thing! Goddammit, why wouldn’t you expect that?! Everyone here is so single minded! FUCK THIS! “GODDAMMIT, DISCORD! YOU WANT TO FIGHT?! WELL, HOW ABOUT THIS!” You slap your horn on your head and fire a beam of raging hot fury right towards him. “I’M DONE! AND YOU KNOW WHAT?! FUCK YOU, IT’S TIME YOU LEARNED A LESSON YOU’VE BEEN NEEDING TO LEARN FOR A LONG TIME AND… Ugh, of course! Goddammit!” And your rage is replaced by bewilderment as Discord quickly turns his sword into a pot, catches your beam within it, puts on a chef’s hat, and starts boiling the pot on a summoned stove.

“Ah, finally, the last ingredient I needed for ‘Chaotic Catastrophe’ chili! I’ll tell you right now, Anon, I hope you’re ready for a spicy dinner tonight. Delicious, of course, but only those who can handle the burning sensation of a million suns may partake in such a delicious delicacy.” Discord says, smiling at you as he adds a little salt into the mix.

You fall over, defeated. He wasn’t even pissed?! Then what the fuck was all that then? “Ugh… What’s wrong with you, Discord? Why can’t you just leave me be?”

“Anon, you know that I know that Fluttershy knows that I know that you know that I worry about you. In fact, tonight’s dinner is in celebration of such chaos you wreaked in Twilight’s mind, even if some of it was provided by Chryssi. Heavens, Anon, I don’t even know why you’re so upset. So what if the entire visit was a disaster? You still got exactly what you wanted.” Discord says as he takes a small taste of the chili. “Hmm, needs more meat.” Discord says to himself as he holds his paw over the pot and slices it off with a butcher’s knife. “There we go. Mmmm, wonder if Big Mac would be a pal and lend me an apple for this. Mnnn, nah, would make things too fruity.”

“The hell are you talking about?! Chrysalis decided to be creepy ominous at the end and Twilight couldn’t lay off her need to talk friendship bullshit. How is that a win for me?” Really, the hell was he talking about?

Discord regrows his paw and goes back to mixing the pot as he looks over at you, smirking. “She’s literally tied to the laws of chaos right now, Anon. That deal she made with you is magically binding. Yes, she made the stakes rather grim, but it does give her incentive to play by the rules.”

“The deal?” You blink, confused for a moment, before looking at the shackles on your legs. “Right… so you’re saying these are really real? She can’t break the deal?”

“Not without dire consequences. Really, ‘death’ isn’t my thing, but that was her call and so the will of chaos made it a reality, albeit, more in Twilight’s favor than hers. Then again, that seems to be what she was wanting. Or she could just be loony and not realize how utterly ridiculous her own rules are. In fact, Anon, I’m with you on the thought that there is no way that Chrysi could take on everypony who decides to protect Twilight all at once, i.e: everypony who is anypony.” Discord says as he continues to mix the pot. “She stands no real chance in succeeding, not unless she actually found a way to get close to Twilight without anypony knowing. And furthermore, without her power, which is weakened due to lack of such strong love, even Rarity could crush her in mere moments. You don’t even need to worry about her getting close, considering the Apple clan have a dog that can certainly sniff her out if she ever even got close to Ponyville.” Discord says as he tastes the chili once again, nodding to himself as he lets out a low moan. “Mmmm, perfect.”

“You mean Scrappy? Wait…” Was Discord saying the win was pretty much guaranteed? You look at the shackles again, and point towards the one on your right foreleg. “So these shackles, as long as they exist, it means the deal is still on, right? And because of that, Chrysalis pretty much would have to outsmart everyone to even get a shot at Twilight, right? Ok, that’s good I guess, no way she can manage all that. But what about after? You think she would really give friendship a shot?”

“Beats me. In my opinion, Anon, which I am certified to give as I too was once a villain, she may not want to. But she may cease her more hostile nature as well. Really, I have no idea how to really make her change sides, but what I do know is that a catastrophic event may cause her to finally see the light. For her other self, it was the destruction of her children and the finding of a new family. For her? Well, you’d know that better than I.” Discord said, in an almost fatherly way, as he poured some of the contents of the pot into a bowl, threw in a spoon, and hovered it all over to you. “Now, do you really have anything to be stressed about?”

You grab the bowl using your own magic, and look into it. It certainly looked like chili, despite the odd ingredients to make it. You then consider Discord’s words. As disastrous as everything was, you still technically got the outcome you were hoping for. Though, if Discord is right, and Chrysalis still doesn’t reform, what could you do to try to make it happen anyway? Of course, there was also… “I dunno. Discord, what if she goes nuts after the deal is done, and still tries to do evil? I pretty much said I’d deal with her myself. I mean, I don’t want to destroy her, but…”

“Ah, but you don’t want to be responsible for anypony she hurts right after. Yes, I could see why you’re having trouble considering all this. You could simply lock her away into Tartarus. But probably after a thousand years or so she’ll escape and wreak havoc anyway. Hmmm, such a conundrum. Do you not trust her enough to be good on her own?” Discord asks, in a half respectful yet still condescending tone.

“I don’t, even if I should. Mmmmnnnn…” Your eyes peer over to Discord, as a thought enters your head. “What about you? You did the same shit, right? Acted all reformed only to try to take over everything, with Fluttershy’s promise pretty much guaranteeing you couldn’t be stopped. How did you feel when you realized you were lonely, how did you feel after all the shit you did with Tirek? I mean, look at you Discord, you even got Spike and Big Mac as buddies now. So y'know, just tell me, how was it before all that? How did you REALLY feel?”

Discord flinched at that, his ego suddenly taking a blow to such words. “Yes, I suppose I couldn’t be trusted. And yes, I felt that horrible feeling, that nasty feeling of loneliness. As for Tirek, well, I hadn’t become fully accustomed to friendship yet and he was promising the kind of rulership and power I used to have when I was the ‘King of Everything’. Now, of course, I did get betrayed, and that did hurt. Ugh, and then Twilight, of all ponies, forgave me. Which, given it revealed the final key needed to use ‘Rainbow Power’, I can say it wasn’t entirely terrible given everypony could say I technically saved the world. Ah, but I digress, looking back on all of that now, looking at my friendship with Fluttershy, you, and the others.” Discord sighs “I’d rather have what I have now than go back to how things were.” Discord looked defeated for a moment as he said this, until he raised his talon and looked to you with a smirk. “Although, being friends with Fluttershy does mean I can get away with things from time to time too, so it’s not all bad. She does like to defend me at times.”

“Thanks for telling me all that Discord, I think I can use that. Just let me think. Hmmm…” Chrysalis has already gone through a lot of loss so far. She was ok with Diamond, but not with Twilight. If she is defeated, would she really sink back into the forest? Would she plan and scheme again? Would she just give up and become a hermit?

Wait…

Discord finally gave in mostly when Fluttershy herself pretty much put a rain on his chaos parade. Chrysalis, what if you managed to stop her yourself when she enacts her plan? You and her, going toe to toe. She couldn’t hurt you, given the deal, and if you stand your ground and talk to her, show her how insane and illogical her thoughts really have become…

Then maybe…

“Discord, I need you to be serious with me on this, ok? What if I stopped Chrysalis myself? Give her the whole friendship shebang in my own way. I put my hoof down and I give her the ultimatum myself. She can sense feelings, so if I’m serious, which I will be, then something should give. Even she can’t handle being alone forever, Discord. I mean, hell, even if she says she does, I can pull out the fact that I’m mortal and there can be a point I could be gone and BAM! It’s over. A little underhanded, but I’m going to have to be to make it all work, I need to pull out all the stops. Pretty good plan, right?” You look to Discord, feeling confident in your plan.

Discord, however, suddenly seemed saddened, as if you said something to hurt him. “Oh, yes… Right, hrn. Well, in my honest opinion, your mention of mortality and finally having such a showdown with her should lead to your success, given it would wound her in a way that only friendship can heal. So yes, I think that might work. She’ll no doubt give in, either right then or a couple of nights to ponder on it.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much what I was thinking too. I just have to focus on making sure I’m there when she finally shows up. But, ngh, I’m a little scared. If I can’t step up, if I just screw up or give in to her even the littlest bit, she’ll walk all over me. Ogh!” You suddenly felt despair as you brought your hooves to your head and began to shake. “Dammit! I keep telling myself not to fall for shit like that, but I always do! Chrysalis always manages to bullshit me! I just… I’m just scared that she may look like she’s trying to bullshit me, but she actually isn’t, and I don’t listen anyway. And yet, I know if I don’t act tough, well, I already said she would walk over me and-uh?” As you doubted yourself further, you felt a hand, or rather, a paw on the shoulder of your right foreleg. You look up, and see Discord looking at you, like an actual dad. “U-uhhm, uh? Discord?”

“Hush, Anon.” Discord says as he snaps his tail, zipping your mouth up like he used to do long before. Even further, he removed your ability to move, keeping you as still as a statue. “I’m about to help you. Anyway, you say you have a lack of will. Or afraid of having a lack for it anyway. I can’t tell you if you can do it or not, I’m not Twilight, I’m not going to be like her and take a guess at something that could just explode in your face. Well, not unless it wasn’t important enough to warrant such care. But I will tell you this, Twilight at this very moment has gathered her friends to discuss this whole business with Chrysy. Now, before you assume, she had asked me earlier while you were having your little episode to fetch you for this meeting, but I think you could use this to truly test your mettle. That’s right, if you could tell off five ponies and make your stand, then standing up to our buggy friend should pose no issue to you. Oh, don’t raise your eyebrow at me, I said the correct number. Fluttershy doesn’t count because I’d rather not imagine you talking down to her or making her upset… Which you better not do, or else. Ah, not to worry Anon, this threat extends to Twilight and her friends as well if they so happen to make you cry. Although, if you do cry, I’ll also taunt you for being such a baby. Really, you’ve been around long enough to deal with everything thrown at you, especially given you have the advantage of having CHAOS on your side. But I digress, now is the time to truly test yourself, Anon.” Discord says as he snaps his talons, freeing you from his magical grip. “And best of all, this advice comes free of charge. Sort of, I do expect you to answer a question for me.”

Woah, you didn’t expect that kind of advice to come from Discord. He has his moments, but that was pretty profound. Especially since manning up, which admittingly, you should have already done, doesn’t exactly sound right coming from him given how much of a baby he can be. Still, it was insanely helpful, so you thank him, and ask him what the question is.

“I just wish to ask you not to hate me. Don’t ask why I’m asking, you know I’ll teleport you into a lake if you ask why. I just wish for you to understand that you and Fluttershy truly mean the world to me and… Ugh, I just went that far, didn’t I? What’s gotten into me? It’s not like we haven’t had a moment like this before and-” But as Discord began to get nervous on his own train of thought, you call out to him.

“I get it. Heh, you’re just worried something happened, or you probably just wanted to make sure we we're still ok. Well, yeah, we’re still ok. We’re best buds, no matter what! I was just feeling, I dunno, edgy? I guess that’s what you’d call it. But I gotta ask this, what even made you feelGYAH! BLFDLFGF” And in an instant, you found yourself in the town square fountain. Not exactly a lake, but wet just the same as you pop your head above water and hang from the side, spitting water out from your mouth before cursing Discord out. “DAMMIT! God dammit! I wasn’t even asking why you asked, you fuck! I just wanted to know what made you feel so caring all of a sudden! Geez! Totally not the sameGYAH!” And suddenly, your bowl of chili was plopped on your head as it began to drip down. You give it a lick, and then yell out. “This isn’t even spicy, Discord! You fuck! Though, it's pretty tasty!" You began to lap up as much as you could, damn it tasted great! "Oh yeah, I sometimes forget how good of a co… OH WAIT, NEVERMIND!” And you dove back into the fountain, drinking it up like the little horse you were, trying to make the horrible burning in your mouth go away.

Fucking dammit, you'll never truly figure Discord out. What made him suddenly get nervous like that though? Hm...

The stars were appearing, the moon rising, and the cool air settling in. Really, you could use for a cool theme as you approach Twilight’s castle. You would use your magic to actually conjure one up, but it was probably best you keep things normal as to not cause any issues.

As per usual, Twilight’s castle doors remain unlocked. You push them open and step on inside through the darkened entrance hall. Spooky, given how silent it was. You take a breath, steel yourself, and step through into the cutie map room. Oh geez, oh no, everyone but Twilight was there, waiting, silent, looking serious. Spike’s chair was vacant, and you noticed a normal chair set by Fluttershy’s side. You gulp, slowly head towards it, and then…

“Look! It’s Nonny! Hey Nonny! Woo, glad you showed up! Everything was getting creepy and ominous with all of us sitting here. Hoo boy, you’d think we were about to do a big judgement thing or something! It’s even plenty dark in here too, could use some lights if you ask me.” Pinkie said with a giggle as she looked over her chair, waving at you. “Look, Twilight set a chair just for you by your aunt! Isn’t that nice?”

“Y-yeah, woo, ok then.” Come on, Anon, keep it together. You step forward and continue towards the seat as you studied everyone’s mood. “Heya, Ponk, everyone… Heh.”

“Good evening, Anon. And I must say, I agree with Pinkie Pie. Everything was getting so uncomfortable that I was going to suggest a small snack break, A little tea to ease the tension.” Rarity remarks as she seems to take a moment to relax herself.

“In case anypony forgot, we’re here because Twilight and Anon decided to go see that no good, love stealin’, scoundrel of a queen. Twi hasn’t been herself since she got back neither, so who knows what could have happened!” Applejack said as she suddenly shot a suspicious look at you “Anon, you ain’t even been around since Twilight came back neither. If yer up to no good, then don’t think I’ll go easy on ya.”

“Woah, woah, woah. Ok, I get it, we’re all worked up here, but I doubt Anon meant anything bad. Plus, Twilight is still ok, so let’s chillax. I know it sounds bad because they went and visited somepony who clearly hates all of us, but we all have to remember that Anon is trying to reform her. And as crazy as that sounds, Spike did say Twilight went with him because of that. And they are both here, right? So obviously something went right.” Rainbow Dash said… Coming to your defense for some reason. Geez, that's odd, it even feels odd.

“Yer only defendin’ him because you helped train him! This is serious, Rainbow Dash, we don’t even know if the Twilight that came back is our Twilight. What if it’s her? What if this is some sort of trap?!” Christ, Applejack seemed to be the only one who wanted to jump down your fucking throat. The hell was her fucking problem?! Was she still mad about what happened with O&O?

“She’s not! Geez, what got up your butt, Applejack?!” Fuck this, you had to make your stand now! And if Applejack wanted to be a bitch, then so be it. “That is Twilight! And I didn’t do anything bad! The only reason this was set up is because you all need to know what happened, so there!”

“Twilight shouldn’t have left without tellin’ us! I swear, whenever it’s you or Discord, there’s always trouble close behind! Plus, if nothin’ bad happened, then why did Twilight have scuff marks on her coat, hm?! Why were her wings all crooked?! You were there, so-” But then, unexpectedly, Fluttershy speaks up.

“That’s enough! If you’re accusing my Anon of actually being bad or evil then you’re wrong! Applejack, I’m so very surprised at you, Anon is very good in heart and would never EVER do anything bad on purpose! Even if he’s from another dimension, he’s still a colt, my colt, and I will not sit here and listen to you accuse him of doing bad things! Anon has been trying hard, very hard, to reform Chrysalis. And I know some of us don’t like it, but need I remind you that a pony who locked us all in a shed and stole our cutie marks is now our student counselor? And don’t forget about Tempest and Trixie too! And the changelings would have never been reformed without his help! Anon has even helped save Equestria! No matter how bad it seems, no matter how many others have told Anon it’s impossible, he still is trying. And considering what Twilight must have done, then it’s obvious she believes in Anon too, and so do I!” Fluttershy then gave Applejack a hard stare, nearly to ‘the stare’ levels. “Don’t you dare accuse him again, Applejack. Or else I will get mad at you and not talk to you for a whole week! Or even a month!” Fluttershy then looked over to you, and smiled. “Anon, come sit over here by me. Don’t worry, I won’t let anypony hurt you or your feelings. I’m here for you, no matter what.”

Ohhh damn, was not expecting that. While you felt you could have handled that on your own, the fact you seemed to have everyone’s support thus far didn’t seem too bad. Honestly, you expected worse. “Y-yeah, thank you, Aunt Fluttershy.” You say as you walk over and take your seat.

“Fluttershy…” Applejack said, as she began to simmer down from her anger. She wanted to say something more, but even she could see she wasn’t going to break Fluttershy’s motherly stance. “Ah guess we’ll just wait for Twilight then.”

“Agreed. We should all take the moment to calm down and- Oh! And I suppose have some tea. Anon, darling, you didn’t need to use your magic on us, I know how limited it is per day and I’d rather not burden you with the trouble.” Rarity said, being polite, keeping her composure in hope everyone else does too. She wanted to ask about Twilight, but she felt just waiting for her would be best.

You tap at your horn, and smile at her a sweet smile. “No trouble, Miss Rarity, it’s uh, close to the end of the day anyway. And I’d just like it if everypony just relaxed too. We’ll get it all straightened out when Twilight shows up.” Oh man, this could be such a fucking disaster. It’s not like you didn’t fling Twilight into a ceiling or anything, pinning her down hard.

“Yay! Tea!” Pinkie said as she grabbed her cup and began to chug it down. She then wipes her muzzle and looks over to Applejack. “Come on, Applejack, don’t be mad. We have to trust in our friends, remember? I’m sure everything is gonna be ooooookkkk!”

“Hmmm… Ah guess.” Applejack said as she just poked at her tea cup, not really feeling up for tea. She then looked over to Rarity, asking what she thought of the situation since talking to you further would only cause Fluttershy to get upset.

“Anon, have you been alright? Nothing really bad happened, did it?” Fluttershy asked, whispering towards you so the others wouldn't hear.

“It’s sort of complicated, Aunt Fluttershy. Some things are kind of bad, yeah, but erm… Believe it or not, Twilight and Chrysalis were kind of getting along for a bit. We were all sitting down watching a documentary and Twilight was really into it and stuff. It’s just…” Man, dammit, if Twilight was gonna say something, fine. But she was your aunt, you had to tell her. “Look, Aunt Fluttershy. If I whisper to you what happened at the end of the visit, can you just… Not get mad at me?”

“Mad? Why would I…” Fluttershy stopped herself, and just gave you a nod. “I promise, Anon. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll be ok.” Fluttershy knew how volatile the situation was, and she knew you were trying really hard. For you, she had to do her best to restrain her feelings, and perhaps even her better judgement.

“Mnnn… Well, I guess you didn’t notice but…” You raise your forelegs, to make your shackles known within the low light of the room. “I sort of got these.”

“What are they? A new fa- Oh no, this has to do with what happened, doesn’t it?” Fluttershy asked with a gulp.

“It does. Look, I guess Twilight is gonna say it anyway, but I want you to know before anypony else. So…” And so you explain everything to her. Everyone else was talking amongst themselves at this point, so they don’t really notice her gasps and such. “..And that’s what the shackles are for too. Are you upset with me? For what I did?” You really did feel bad over it, and yet, you knew it was justified. You had to keep that in mind, and hope Fluttershy just… Please, just let her agree with you.

“Anon…” Fluttershy began to tear up. She quickly glanced over to her friends, hid her face, and wiped her tears before looking back at you. “No, I’m not mad. I just… I just don’t know how to feel. But I’m not mad. You just wanted it to work, that’s all. And… I know it may sound bad for me to say, but Twilight really does have a habit of doing that. But, you shouldn’t have done that still, and Chrysalis… She sounded like she was having fun, even if it was mean fun, until… Well, sounds like what happened with Discord, how he gave in to his bad side when he had a chance. He didn’t know any better, and it seems to me Chrysalis doesn’t either. She’s hurting, but she doesn’t know any other way. As for what you did to Twilight, maybe I should say something to you about using your magic like that. But, if Twilight was really hurt by it, I think she would have said so by now. In fact, if you were both tricked into a deal, then I think we’re here to mostly discuss what we’re going to do about it.”

Right, if Twilight was going to gather the rest of her friends on this, then this was most likely also going to be a strategy discussion. That is, if Twilight was still willing to help. “Yeah, I think you might be right. S-so, even knowing that this may be it, that Twilight is in danger, you’re not mad or anything?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “No, just upset. I don’t want Twilight to be in any kind of danger. I don’t want you to get hurt either, and I don’t want Chrysalis to just disappear. I think Twilight will know what to do, and as her friends, we’ll do our best for her, just like I’ll do my best for you. If you believe Chrysalis will understand friendship after all this, then I will do my best to help make it happen. I really feel, when she was Nymous, that deep down, she cared about being part of the family, and that's enough of a reason for me to help. But, Anon, this also depends on how Twilight feels about all this. We need to hear her out. B-but don’t worry, if she goes over everything, and Applejack or anypony else gets upset, I’ll… I’ll stand up for you, ok?”

Mnnn, actually, Discord is right on this one. You were just lucky you didn’t make Fluttershy cry, or at least hoped those first few tears didn’t count. “Aunt Fluttershy, no, it’ll be ok. I can stand up for myself. Please, don’t argue with me on this one. I know, in the end, I’ll have to stand up to Chrysalis and overcome her doubt and refusal to accept what’s what if I really want to help her. And for me to even test my courage, I’ll have to stand up to anypony who has a problem with it. Even our friends.”

“Anon…” But Fluttershy understood. She had come to learn a lot about assertiveness after all, and the importance of it. “I understand. But, no matter what, I’ll still be here for you. If you want, after this, you can come with me back to the cottage. I’ll make you some warm milk, and then we can cuddle until we both fall asleep. Ok?”

You almost burst into tears from that one. She was being so understanding. It was odd, but she clearly wanted to try to remain neutral while her motherly instinct stepped in to defend you from any criticism or hurtful words. She’d probably debate with Twilight if Twilight herself decided differently from what you expect. But since you felt Twilight was still on your side, even after what happened, you knew Fluttershy would be too. “T-thank you, Aunt Fluttershy. I-I love you.”

“I love you too, Anon. Forever and ever.” She says, shooting you a warm but sorrowful smile in an attempt to make you feel better. She knew you were hurting, she hated seeing you hurt.

And then, shortly after, Twilight stepped into the room, her very presence demanding silence as she took her seat, and prepared to speak...

“...And that’s what happened, Everypony. Thank you all for listening, I know how hard it must have been to hear that. But that is the situation, and as much as I know it upsets you all, there was nothing I can do to fix things after, well, I messed things up.” Twilight said with a shamed sigh.

She really did it. She explained everything that happened, minus the details about being gripped by your magic, her fetish, and some of Chrysalis's evil quips. It seems she didn’t want you to be seen as the bad guy, or as overreacting, given how heavy the information was.

“Waaaaaait a second…” Pinkie immediately let out before anyone could say anything. “Are you saying you over analyzed a documentathingy instead of just enjoying it? And then got into a whole friendship tiffy with Chrysalis?! Twilight, that’s not like you, you always know how to party! What happened?!”

“Pinkie! Are ya kiddin’ me?! Twilight just explains that she’s a fish in a barrel right now and ya gonna criticize how she does her partyin’?! How is that important?!” Applejack calls out, annoyed with Pinkie that she could seem so nonchalant about Twilight's predicament.

“I mean, I was just saying.” Pinkie shrugged “Must have been a really interesting documentary. Like, super interesting to get ‘Research Twilight’ going. I could kinnnnnd of see where Chrysalis was coming from, sorta. She does seem to be kind of loopy now given from what we know. I mean, Scrappy told me Chrysalis was probably kind of coocoo after the whole ‘reform the changelings’ thing. It’s not like I enjoy Twilight being in super bad ultra dangerous danger! No, that’s not it! I want to protect her like everypony else! I just thought it was kind of weird, that’s all.”

“Applejack, Pinkie is right. I think if I had simply enjoyed my time there, things would have gone smoother. Chrysalis was obviously very sensitive about what happened to her, as well as sensitive about her beliefs. Despite her taunting, she really was insightful, and a few times, even fun. Like I said, I should have listened to Anon from the start.” Twilight said, looking down, feeling rather ashamed of her failure.

“Speaking of Anon. What gives?!” Rainbow Dash said as she flew and stopped directly in front of you. “Why would you even set something like that up, Anon?! I get you want to help Chrysalis out, but she’s clearly always going to be evil if she wants to destroy Twilight! It’s over, ok?! She’s never gonna see the good side of things! I kinda held off on it because we’re buds and stuff, but this is crossing the line! It’s super uncool! And not what a good friend does! Didn’t I teach you better than that?!”

Your eye twitched at that. Dammit, where does she get off telling you that?! “It wasn’t my fault that she lost her kids, Rainbow Dash! It’s not my fault she is losing her mind! It’s not even my fault that Twilight is in danger, ok?! Look at my legs! Ok? These are legally binding shackles that make sure Twilight is her only target! Are you telling me we somehow can’t protect Twilight?! Who can, by the way, protect herself too! I’m sorry that this happened, but Twilight told it how it was, It wasn’t my fault!”

“It was yer fault! You were so reckless with yer wanting to help Chrysalis that ya put Twilight in danger. Colt or no colt, yer friend is still a big time enemy of Equestria, Anon, and that ain’t something we can all overlook. Besides, we all know yer smarter than ya look, so what made ya think this was a good idea at all?!” Applejack then looked to Twilight, pointing at her, making sure she shared some of the blame. “And ahm sorry, sugarcube, but ya should have known better than to be so trustin’. The fact she seems so happy about gettin’ a chance at you is enough for me. If ah catch her, I’m gonna smash her like the bug she is, ah promise y'all that much!”

“M-Maybe we should all calm down. T-twilight also explained she was still willing to help Chrysalis once we stop her, and it’s not like it’d be hard to do that, Chrysalis is very weak right now. A-and that’s just it, deep inside, she’s just a scared and hurt mother who is stuck in her ways. Anon has been her friend for a very long time, so I trust him and Twilight in believing that if we stop her, we can reform her.” Fluttershy said, feeling meek that her friends were seeming so aggressive. “A-and let’s not go pointing hooves either, ok? What’s important now is figuring out what we’re going to do next.”

“Fluttershy is right. What’s done is done, right no-” But Twilight is cut off as Rainbow Dash flies up, interrupting her with her yelling on top of her words.

“Are you kidding me?! Are you seriously telling us that it’s absolutely ok that a crazy bug queen wants to stroll right up to you and hhhrrrrk!” Rainbow Dash makes a gesture implying a choking neck. “That is totally CRAZY! What we should do is just go right up to her now and do what Applejack said she was gonna do!”

You jump up onto the table, you were not going to take that shit. “Try it! Go ahead! If you even step into the forest to find her, I’ll make sure you come back wingless, you get me?! What is even with you?! You didn’t get this crazy over Dad or Starlight!”

Rainbow Dash flew down, and looked you in the eye, almost like an oppressive overseer. “Anon, when Fluttershy was first reforming your Dad, none of us liked it! Twilight was even trying to get a reform spell to use on him. And Starlight? We still had to be super careful when it came to her! And I don’t know if you noticed, but the friend you're protecting is one of the biggest evils in Equestria! She still wants to destroy Twilight, Anon! Hello!” Rainbow Dash knocks on your head. “Did you suddenly forget that destroying somepony is a permanent thi-GYAH!”

Suddenly, there is a horrible high pitched whine that fills the room, causing you all to cover your ears. The source of the noise? Well, you all look over to see Rarity, closing her mouth and sitting there calmly as she prepares to speak. “Sorry, everpony, but this meeting was becoming much too hostile for my liking. Rainbow Dash, Applejack, I can fully understand where you’re coming from. The situation is quite dire, and it is clear that emotions are high given that one of our best friends is in mortal danger. But yelling at each other isn’t going to solve anything. Anon, please take your seat as well, I do not want to see a gentlepony like yourself reduced to such barbaric mannerisms, you are much too young to be showing such tendencies.”

“Rarity?! How can ya be so calm about this?! Rainbow Dash is right, this ain’t a situation that can be taken lightly!” Applejack said as she slammed her hoof on the cutie map. “This ain’t a time for talk, this is a time for some good ole fashioned bad guy buckin'!”

“Miss Rarity…” You stare at her, becoming calmer and yet melancholic, was she really going to speak against you too? “She’s my friend. I’m this close. Twilight understands, she does! I just need help, that’s all. We can protect her, she even thinks so!”

“I know she does, Anon. And I never said I was against you either. But even you must understand the tension the situation causes, on top of the fact that your dear friend is the infamous Queen Chrysalis herself. But given all we know now, I couldn’t help but stare at those gaudy things on your legs. Tell me, is the spell Chrysalis tricked you into casting as binding as you say?” Rarity asks.

You look to your shackles, then back at her as you slowly back up to your seat. “Yeah, even dad said it was.”

“Peculiar…” Rarity stood up from her seat and began to circle the room. “Everypony, let me ask you all a very important question. Why would Chrysalis, so bent on her revenge, make a deal that is clearly not in her favor.”

“Uh, because she’s evil, duh!” Rainbow Dash calls out.

“Evil, perhaps. But Chrysalis has always been known to be an intelligent and cunning schemer, and yet she binds herself to a deal that means her very existence if she brings harm to anypony but Twilight. It seems to me that Chrysalis truly isn’t herself if she’s willing to make a deal that doesn’t benefit her in any capacity. Furthermore, it is a deal that, while still dangerous, has an overwhelmingly high chance of failure. Now, this may sound like I truly agree with Anon, and I actually do. When I knew her as ‘Nymous’, she was actually quite insightful in dress design and public desires at the time. Why, if she was truly evil, would she give me such helpful information if she does not desire to be our friend?” Rarity ducked down behind the cutie map, and then came back up in her ‘detective’ ware “I’ll tell you why! Because Anon has indeed made progress with her! She has shown signs of changing, and she has noticed as well, and is trying to resist! And this very deal is her ‘All or Nothing’ play to avoid her feelings! Either she gets what she wants, or she finally gives in and allows her dear friend Anon to finally help her come to understand the magic of friendship!”

Everyone was quiet on that one, even you. Up until Pinkie started to clap her hooves and cheer Rarity on. “Woo! Amazing! Spot on!”

“Thank you, darling, I had pondered on it quite a bit while Twilight was telling her story.” Rarity said as she began to carefully declothe herself and fold her outfit.

“...Rarity, ya do know that one example ain’t no thing, right? Her entire game is to pull the wool over everypony.” Applejack reminded her.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! But there’s more than one example! I happen to know she was also super friendly with Anon’s marefriend too! Like, she never had anything bad to say about her or anything! Also, also, at the party we threw for her, I had seen her getting super friendly with Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and especially Scootaloo! They all seemed so happy! I bet she was just really happy too since they take such good care of Scrappy!” Pinkie chipped in.

Ah yes… When she was drunk. Whatever, Rarity and Pinkie seemed to be on your side, as was Fluttershy and Twilight. This was your in. “See?! I know why you’re both upset. But Chrysalis has shown signs of changing! And this is it! This is the final push! Please, I’m sorry that it went this far, but-” But then you are cut off by Rainbow Dash, who still wasn’t ok with any of this.

“Like Applejack said, she can clearly fake it! What makes you so sure she’d even reform if we stop her? She could just go and try to plan something else!” Rainbow Dash says.

“Well, I mean, she could. But also, if she didn’t make the deal, then she could have just hidden in the forest and then we’d never know if she was planning something evil and then she could have planned that evil thing without any of us knowing and she could also hurt anypony she wants while she is doing her evil plan and she could have even joined other evil bad guys we have beaten before to make up a super evil plan that could doom Equestria forever and we would only have a super small chance of winning unless something happens like it usually does but it might not that time because reasons so since we know she’s going to attack and it’s like all of us against her and she can only hurt Twilight then I think it’d be better like this than if we didn’t know and if she didn’t make that deal because then things might have been a lot worse.” Pinkie explained, without breathing, nearly choking herself, as she then looks to everyone with a squeeing smile.

All of you, including yourself, just stared at her.

“What?” Applejack asked.

“I think she said that Chrysalis could have been more of a danger if she never made the deal. She could have decided not to tell anypony she was going to try something, and she could have hurt anypony she wanted by doing so. Pinkie is right, and so is Rarity, and Anon, and Twilight.” Fluttershy says as she stands, finally taking a strong stance as she looks over to Rainbow Dash and Applejack. “Twilight needs us, Chrysalis needs us too. This is her way to ask for help. It’s not the best way, but if we pull together as a team, I’m sure we can make it happen. Think about it, she basically is asking us to stop her. So please, won’t you at least consider it?”

Twilight nods. “I’ve seen her up close, and I’ve felt her magical presence. She’s nowhere near as strong as she was when she raided Cadance and Shining Armor’s wedding. Besides that, I think she was really trying to be friends with me, she just couldn’t hold back her tendencies when I pushed too hard, that’s all. I know I’ll be ok if you all got my back. As friends, nothing can tear us down. And in this case, the one who wants to do just that needs our help. Please, everypony, I truly am ok with this, I have no doubt that we can pull this off. Applejack, please, I will especially need your help with this.”

“Me? Mmmnnnn…” Applejack slowly took off her hat and looked down on it, she didn’t know what to feel now, it was two against five, and it didn’t seem any of them were going to budge. “Twi, are yer sure there ain’t no other way? This is crazy, it just is, alright? I-if ya need mah help, of course ah'll help ya, but ya gotta see nothin’ about this is right.”

“I know how you feel, Applejack, I think I would have reacted the same as you and Rainbow if any of this happened to you. At least, before I came to understand how Chrysalis and Anon’s friendship works. It’ll be ok, I promise. As for what I need, I need you to ask Scrappy to live at the castle until Chrysalis makes her move.” Twilight said. Hm, seems Discord wasn’t the only one to consider that option.

“Scrappy? Whatcha need him for, Twilight? Ya know he gets all sensitive when ya mention Chrysalis, don’t ya?” Applejack asked, feeling a little hesitant to just hand Scrappy over.

“Exactly. I’m only asking you to ask him to come for awhile, he doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to. But I know he still holds a special bond with her, to the point that he has mentioned before that he can sense her when she’s close. If he can help guard the castle, then we’d know for sure when Chrysalis is about to make her move.” Twilight explains.

“...Ah guess that makes sense. If she’s as weak as you’re sayin’, then there’s no way she’s gonna be able to do nothin’ if she’s found out. But Twilight, ah still dunno, this is all still mighty suspicious soundin’.” Applejack said, finally easing up and giving in to the idea.

“I know. But it is the only shot we have, and after what happened, I want to be able to give it a try.” Twilight said, trying to stay optimistic despite the gloomy aura of the room.

“Look…” You sigh “I already told myself I’d deal with Chrysalis if this doesn’t work out. Yeah, that’s right. If even after all this, she wants to be evil… Then I’m just gonna give up. All this isn’t worth the trouble at that point.”

“Oh my, Anon, no, you mustn’t do-” But you cut off Fluttershy as you look at her with a sad frown.

“It’s the only way, Aunt Fluttershy. I can’t help her anymore if this doesn’t work out. I’m willing to do everything I can for her, but I’m at my limit. She’s my responsibility at this point, so it’s my job to do it, no matter what anypony says.” Ngh, that one hurt to say.

“Sheesh, that’s kinda harsh.” Rainbow Dash said as she hovered back to her seat.

“What? What do you mean?” You ask her.

“I mean, I didn’t know it was like that. I, uh, just sorta thought she was just a big bad guy who was just pulling your strings the whole way. Listening to all that, and you getting serious, and stuff… Er, I mean it’s all pretty heavy. I remember her being pretty scummy and all.” Rainbow Dash then finally asks that question, the question that you wanted all to hear the answer to. “So, like, what kind of friendship did you both have, anyway? I heard you both saved an Equestria, so, there’s that. Is that even true?”

…Here we go. “It is. As for my friendship with Chrysalis, it’s one of understanding first and foremost. We get each other, and the fact I was able to look past her evilness allowed us to share moments we still remember and times we both have a good laugh about. Maybe a lot of things isn’t what a pony would call ‘good’, but it allowed us to bond in such a way that we could be honest, or mostly honest, with each other, and experience things we’d never be able to experience with anypony else. In fact, Chrysalis has saved my life, more than once. She even had a chance to steal the horn, more than once. And uh, she did try sometimes, and sometimes she didn’t. Look, the point is, we became such good friends that we managed to be the perfect team when things got heavy. She really is like a sister to me, Rainbow Dash. That’s why I want to save her. And If I can’t, then it’s my responsibility to stop her.”

“Geez… I uh. Um…” Rainbow Dash didn’t know how to reply to that “Really is like that, huh? yeah, hm…”

And then Pinkie Pie began to cry as she slammed her head down on the map “IT’S SO SAD! I’VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF A FRIENDSHIP LIKE THAT AND THE FACT EVERYTHING IS SO EXTREME MAKES ME WANT TO CRY!”

“Indeed… Given she has gone as far as saving Anon’s life on multiple occasions, I find it difficult to believe there is no good in her. Anypony with that kind of fashion sense has to have good in them somewhere.” Rarity remarked.

“Applejack? W-what do you think? Now that everything has been said, do you still feel the same way?” Fluttershy asked, hoping Applejack would become more understanding.

“Considerin', I still feel mighty uncomfortable about all this. But if ah just stew in mah own hate then that just leaves one less pony to help out. I only really wanted to help out Twilight, but if everypony wants to help Anon too, and Anon, if ya really do feel that way, if everything ya said was all true. Well, ah guess I’m in too. I’ll talk to Scrappy tomorrow about it. That changeling don’t got much sense in him though, really does prides himself as Applebloom’s dog, but he’s as loyal as they come, so ahm sure he’ll help out.” Applejack said, finally giving in.

“Thank you, everypony, I really appreciate this. I’ll be sending a letter to the princesses tomorrow morning to update them on the situation and set a definite time for us to meet. Anon, Fluttershy, you’re welcome to join me if you want. I know the situation is sensitive, so I think it’d help if you both came along.” Twilight asked as she looked to the both of you, relieved everything was finally working out.

“Of course, Twilight, if you need my help, then I’ll be there… Erm, I-I just hope the princesses don’t get too upset.” Fluttershy said, feeling a little shaky about it.

“Don’t worry, Aunt Fluttershy, I’ll be there too. I’m sure everything will work out just fine.” Probably not, but whatever, progress!

“I agree with you, Anon. Everything will turn out alright, and I’m sure we can help Chrysalis. Everypony, it’s getting late now, and I don’t want to keep you all from your beds. I think we’re done here, unless anypony has anything else to say.” Twilight says as she gives out a small yawn.

“I do!” Pinkie Pie says as she zips away, and comes back with a sleeping bag. “As in, I’m not letting you even have to worry about being by yourself tonight! I say we have a sleepover!”

“Aww, Pinkie, it’ll be ok. I do have Spike, you know?” Twilight says, feeling touched that Pinkie would do this, but not wanting to burden her with worry.

“Yeah, ya do, but you can also have us too, Sugarcube. Friends stick together, no matter what, and considering what ya got on your plate right now, a sleepover doesn’t sound half bad.” Applejack says, joining in with Pinkie Pie. “Though, gonna need a place to-” But then Pinkie dashes away, and somehow comes back with just the right amount of sleeping bags. “Ah, never mind.”

“She’s right, Twilight. Can’t let you go solo now that we got this mess on our hooves. I’m in!” Rainbow Dash says.

“Oh my, given the circumstances, I couldn’t possibly say no.” Rarity joins in.

“Anon, would you be comfortable sleeping here with us?” Fluttershy asked.

“Could, um, could I still snuggle up with you and-” and that's when you could suddenly hear snickering coming from… Oh goddammit. “Shut up, Rainbow Dash! I like cuddling, so what?! I could still wreck all of Equestria with my magic if I wanted to!”

“Yikes, alright alright. I’m sorry. Heh, whatever, it’s kind of sweet actually. But uh, wait, doesn’t he have school tomorrow? Or technically his last day of school, or whatever, before he transfers?” Rainbow Dash asked.

WUT?! SCHOOL!? “Ahh geez! Is it?! I completely forgot!”

“Not to worry, Anon. Being, well, me, I can totally have you prepared for your last day without issue and on time. So don’t worry, alright? Just get some sleep.” Twilight said with a cheerful smile.

“Oh, I… Ok then.” Heh, that won’t be so bad.

And so, it was decided to move up to Twilight’s room for everyone to set up and get to sleep. You? You got to snuggle up with Fluttershy, who held you close, her warmth and snugglyness helping you ease up and cool down. The situation was finally working out, you had the support of the six, you had Discord’s support. Hell, everything was working out and you hadn’t even talked to Starlight about it yet.

Starlight.

Wait…

Ahhhhh damnnnnn.

“There it is, Canterlot Castle. Even now, a monument to all things harmony. Celestia, she must be reading Twilight’s letter as I speak. How dare she, how dare she even think about ruining what is finally so close! Anon, he’s finally near his climax, he can finally drop that hideously annoying worry he has and go back to not fretting over her and teaming up with me to do things. I don’t know what things, but things. And yet, I can already tell, Celestia will delay or even cause a halt to this progression. For Anon’s sake, and my own, I will make sure that is not the case. Really, his constant obsession is enough to drive even the most twisted being straight. But, given I am amazing, I will not fa-” Suddenly, there is a knock on the stall door. You open it to see Discord standing there, annoyed.

“You know, you’re not the only one who has to take a large exposition dump.” He tells you, holding a newspaper as he taps his dragon foot on the ground.

“Oh please, as if yours is as important and large as mine.” You say, preparing to slam the stall door shut.

“The fact that I’m still dealing with the mental anguish that is Fluttershy becoming more and more busy with her little animal sanctuary says plenty. Not to mention that I’m still annoyed for how long she was out before Anon’s false wedding.” Discord explained.

“Oh my, you’ve been holding it in for a very long time. Well…” You stand up, flush the toilet, and step aside. “After you, handsome.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere. But right now, leave me to my privacy.” Discord says as he slams the stall door shut, and begins to monologue. “Fluttershy’s attention, it is both precious and important to me. And while I must come to understand that her attention is not exclusively mine to have, I should have most of it since I am her BEST friend. Yes, I must find…” But you yourself just walk away from the stall as you snap your talons to teleport into the castle itself, as the stall and you were in the clouds above, observing Canterlot and all the… Does it need that much of an explanation? It’s getting boring.

You are Discord, the best ever, the master of chaos, the cool dude everypony wants to be pals with.

You had a mission, something you’d not screw up this time. Celestia, she would prove a hindrance to Anon’s goals. And a hindrance to his goals was a hindrance to your own. Seriously, he’s done nothing but mope or get obsessed ever since Chyrssy tried to end him. All you have to do is make sure things happen in a timely manner and everything should work itself out.

You teleported into Celestia’s chambers, who seems to have woken up not too long ago, and yet she’s already invested in reading the letter Twilight had sent her. Egh, who reads a letter right when they wake up? Maybe Anon isn’t the only one with an obsession. Sometimes, you wonder if Celestia is always gearing up Twilight to handle something. Why? Who knows? Maybe she’s just a jerk. You wait, you wait until she finishes that letter to make your move. You’d make sure to not allow her an inch.

After she finally finished reading the letter, you pop in behind her. No gags, not right now anyway, you had to make sure she understood you were serious. Sort of, mostly, part of you did want to see what would happen if she did hinder things. But you had to get that out of your head, this was too important. “Have a good read, Celestia?”

“Discord?” Celestia said as her eyes widened in surprise. She looked about, then behind herself, and spotted you. “Isn’t it a little early for you to be eavesdropping?”

“It’s never too early for anything chaos related, my dear. And as you may know, the contents of that letter must describe something truly chaotic. Am I wrong?” You ask her as you give her a dominating grin, floating above her and swimming about in the air as you await her response.

“It truly is, I was not expecting this at all. But I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised either, Anon’s determination is a little misplaced, but also something to be admired.” Celestia states as she sighs and uses her magic to place the letter on her desk. “He’s gotten farther than anypony else ever has with Chrysalis. To think, she even allowed Twilight into her space, even if it was only for a moment.”

“Yes, yes, you’re impressed. But I do know you, Celestia, I know you well.” You snap your talons, producing a roadblock with Celestia’s face on it. You don a construction helmet and wield a hammer as you continue your speech. “You wish to try to stop Anon and his ridiculously stupid quest to reform Chryssy. Well, let me tell you...” You take the hammer, and smash the barricade to pieces. “I won’t allow it this time. Despite the situation with your student, things have come along too far to let you put a stop to it now. So there! What do you have to say about that?”

Celestia nods. “I’d have to say you’re right, Discord. Given Twilight’s letter, I’d say I have no right to interfere at all.”

“Yes, exa-What?! What do you mean you have ‘no right’?! You’re Princess Celestia, a princess of Equestria! How does anything Twilight has to say bring you to such a decision? If anything, when Twilight tells me something, it makes me want to do the exact opposite!” How?! You were so prepared to bring her down and show her you were ultimately right, like you always are. How did she come to that conclusion on her own?! “Let me see that letter!” You say as you snap your talons to make it appear in your grip. You then begin reading.

“She made it very clear, Discord. She accepts the danger, and Anon accepts the responsibility. And if you look at the paragraph where she mentions that this all is a gigantic test for all involved, well, it made me think.” Celestia said as she began to gaze out the window. “Twilight is no longer my student. She is a princess, just like me, Luna, and Cadance. She has her own responsibilities, her own plans, her own way of doing things, her own destiny. Besides, this situation itself…” Celestia looks to you, she looked rather beaten, and yet, so accepting and happy about something. Sheesh, she must have broke. “Wouldn’t you say that I had put Equestria in danger when I released you?”

Guh! She did, didn’t she? You were in a position to lead Equestria into a glorious new era until Fluttershy managed to actually reform you. “I suppose. I wouldn’t call my plans dangerous however. I like to think of it as a much needed set of renovations to the land.”

“Mhmm, but still a danger in a pony's sense. There are also things like Starswirl’s spell, or even sending Twilight to Ponyville. Not to mention expecting her to stop King Sombra when he re-emerged from the darkness. I had put Twilight, her friends, and this land in danger many a time. I was foolish, and yet, I always felt Twilight could never fail, and she never has. Anon, I’d say, is now undergoing his own trial. And if Twilight is willing… No, if Twilight and her friends are going to stand by his side, and help him, then I have no reason to say anything about it. In fact, there is no need for the kind of meeting Twilight is asking for. She is the Princess of Friendship, and if she feels it will help Anon’s friendship with Chrysalis, then I’m sure she knows what she is doing. Given how she explained the situation, it already seems things are very much in their favor. You needn’t worry about my presence, Discord, I will only make myself known if I am needed for help or guidance.” Celestia explains as she slides away the letter with her magic, and places it back on her desk.

“So, you don’t mind that Twilight is being targeted for destruction?” You ask, befuddled by her reaction. “She made it clear that she is Chryssy’s sole focus.”

“Twilight herself understands that, there is nothing I can add that she and her friends don’t already know. Discord, I apologize if you had a whole stunt you were going to pull against me, but it is how I feel. If it makes you feel better, you can still make a threat towards me. I’m actually quite interested to hear what you were going to say to me.” Celestia said, as her smile became more genuine.

“Egh, why do I even bother with you? Even when I finally have the upper hand, you put a damper on things anyway. What would be the point to threaten you if there is no payoff?” You ask.

“I’m just interested. I don’t know if you know this, but I do find your chaos enjoyable when not used maliciously.” Celestia says.

W-was she complimenting you?! Well, you do deserve a compliment. The chaos you cause is perfect no matter the context.

“Well, in that case, I can astound you with the amazing threat I had planned for you. Prepare yourself, Celestia, as it is not my fault if you cower under your bed.” You start to grow as the room grows dark, with flames bursting on all sides as you point directly at her, speaking to her in a loud booming voice. “Celestia! Know this! Should you stand in my way, you will know nothing but pain and misery! I will force you into a place where everypony fears! That’s right, schooooooool! Nopony enjoys school, we all know it! How ironic would it be to be made into a young filly by use of my magic! And then furthermore, forced to attend the school you yourself founded! Haha! Cower and weep, or do you wish to incur my wrath!?”

Celestia just stood there for a moment, and then began to ponder as she brought her hoof to her chin. “That doesn’t sound too bad at all. It’d give me a chance to learn what all the little fillies and colts are into. I’d love to bring a smile to their face by making or funding something that piques their interest.”

WHAT?! You shrink back to normal as the room returns to its original state. “You can’t just say that! How could you even think that?! Enjoy it?! Nopony enjoys school, nopony!”

“I enjoyed my time learning under Starswirl, as did my sister. If given the chance, I’d not mind it again either. Although, I do like your idea better, Discord. Perhaps a single day wouldn’t hurt.” Celestia said with a coy little giggle.

“I simply cannot believe this. All this tension going on and you just want to relive what must have been a dull childhood. Bah, I don’t have time for this, I don’t have time for you, and I don’t have time for this watch.” You hold up your arm to point out a faceless watch. “Seriously, your nonsense literally wiped this clock’s face off of Equestria. The nerve of you! Money doesn’t grow on trees, y’know!?” You say as you make a bag of bits grow out from the castle floor, grab it, and pocket it. “Now then, since you wish to be overly silly and just plain wrong, especially when compared to me, I’ll be going. And don’t you dare go back on your word. I can be quite the hypocrite, Celestia, so I’ll know best of all if you just decide to pull something like that.” You say as you waggle your talon at her. “Hmph, now if you excuse me, I need to replace my timepiece.”

“You have a good day, Discord. And don’t worry, you needn’t worry about me. I’m sure Twilight, Anon, and all their friends have the situation covered.” Celestia said as she gave you a sunny little smile.

You just narrowed your eyes at her, and snapped yourself away back to the house. The nerve of her! She managed to already resist being a nosy nose pony before you even got the chance to threaten her or even toy with her! And wanting to be a filly again, bah, now who would want that? In Anon’s case, he’s never been a colt before, so that doesn’t count.

Whatever, it will be fine. Once this is all over, it will be your time once again! Not like anything else could pop up to ruin everything. You're Discord! If something does show up to gain Anon’s total attention, you could easily deal with it yourself! Though, Fluttershy’s little sanctuary, can’t really do anything about that. And it does make her happy. Agh, thinking too much is hard, napping on the ground for awhile should do your chaotic body some good! In fact, why not just make it like a tropical paradise? Yes, a bed of hot coals is just what the doctor ordered!

Now, all you could hope for is Anon not screwing anything else up. He’s such a good friend, but ridiculously hard headed.

“Anon…” You hear a voice call to you in your sleep

“Anon, I’m just…” And with that, you feel your sleeping bag pulled from you so hard that you spin and fall on your back. “There, good, awake already. We need to talk, like, right now.”

What in the?! You quickly stand up, awoken from your slumber, and look around. Who would just pull, OH SHIT! “Starlight?! W-what are you doing here?! Why are you waking me up so early?!” You felt your heart jump start not only from the sudden waking, but the fact that you were already worried about Starlight finding out about the recent going ons with Chrysalis. Like fuck, you wanted to tell her on your own time, but given her hard stare, it seems she already found out.

“Came here to talk to Princess Twilight about letting me majorly adjust my office at the school. But then that turned into me finding out about all this new Chrysalis stuff. Like, really?! I understand this all happened in a span of a day and nopony had time to tell me. But if there was going to be a meeting, I should have been there! And no, I’m not mad at you, I know it was Twilight who called that meeting. And no, I’m not mad at her, I was, but now I’m not, we had an argument annnnnndddd….” Starlight then points to you, shit, she was already really on edge. “Really, Anon? How could you possibly think it’s that simple?! Nopony even thought of all the possibilities Chrysalis can think of to break that deal without actually breaking it! Ugh, even then, this is why I said to be careful, especially around her! I can’t believe this is happening at all. Anon, ugh…” Starlight sighs as she falls onto her butt, taking a seat in front of you as she composes herself. “I mean, if you were at least planning to visit her, why didn’t you take me instead? I know how Twilight can be, she even made me tell her to be quiet during one of her friendship speeches, like, after she stopped me.”

Oh hell, what the fuck is even going on? Twilight told her, it seems, and she got mad, and now she’s not mad?! Wut? “C-calm down, Starlight. Ok, um, so you know what happened, I guess. I mean, I was gonna tell you about it when I got the chance. Heh, mostly because I was worried you’d flip out if you found out some other way. Which, er, you did? Look, let’s start slow… Erm.” You look at her sheepishly. “Y-you said you weren’t mad at me, that’s true, right? Why? I thought you’d be really pissed at me no matter what, even with all the short notice everypony had. I know Applejack and Rainbow Dash got plenty angry when they were told.”

“Well, sort of, I actually was reeeeaaallly mad at you. Because, y’know, I tell you to be careful all the time. But I don’t know why I expect you to listen to me. I guess Twilight felt the same way when you got obsessed with protecting me way back when. And yeah, that’s when I realized you really just got this big thing with wanting to protect your friends, especially those you really have a good connection with. I mean, Chrysalis has tried to end you, and yet you’re somehow still good friends, it’s crazy. The only reason I can even guess as to why you do that is because you have so few friends already who ‘get’ you and your more human tendencies. Stop me if I’m wrong, but I think that’s the gist of it.” Starlight said, still rather stressed about everything. And holy shit. That, uh, was that it? It sounded right. When the fuck did she get this insightful?

“U-umm, I… Yeah? Geez, Starlight, are you ok? It sounds like your mind just went through a million conversations with yourself to figure all that out. I sorta only thought about it a few times, but it lines up. When did you get so psycho analytical?” Like, yeah, this felt a little unnerving coming from her.

“Just the first two days of counseling students has given me a real edge on figuring others out. You wouldn’t believe some of the big worries they have. I’m still trying to figure out some answers for a few of them to help put their nerves at ease.” Starlight tells you as she smiles and puts a hoof to her chest. “It’s pretty fulfilling though. I can see why Twilight likes helping others so much.”

“Yeah…” Ok, this was still unsettling. “So, you’re really not pissed at me? I kind of had it in my head that we were going to have this really big talk.”

Starlight rolls her eyes at you. “Anon, the world doesn’t revolve around you. What do you think this is, some story where everypony needs to know everypony else's lives through a singular character?”

Uhhhh… “Uhh, maybe? No, not really. Um, that’s oddly specific though for you to say that.”

Starlight suddenly felt a cold chill as she covered her chest with her legs. “I know, I suddenly feel creeped out. But uh, yeah, no. I’ve had time to figure it out. Plus, and don’t tell her I said this, but everyday living with Trixie sort of tempers my, well, temper.” Starlight then looks to you, and raises her hoof and taps the air, as if remembering something. “Actually, and I know this is going off the very important and main issue of Chrysalis, but I did speak to a friend of yours. You know Smolder, right?”

Hm? “I mean, yeah. She’s a pretty recent friend, really cool actually.”

“Yeah, look, I won’t tell you what we talked about, but I’m gonna tell you this. When you finally are taking classes at the school, do not let your eyes just trail off to every pretty mare you see. I swear, Anon, I do not want to deal with a bunch of students coming to me saying that the ‘Hero Colt’ is kind of creepy. Understand?” Starlight asks you, giving you a serious stare.

WHAT IN THE FUCK DID SMOLDER TELL STARLIGHT?! “Hey! I’m not that kind of colt! I have a marefriend, remember? I’m totallytrfgdmmfmdmgfmgmdfgfd” Suddenly, you can feel magical hands just gently stroking your mane and scratch along your back. You can’t help but stare at Starlight now, she suddenly looked so adorable. “Nnhnmmm”

“Yeah, like I said…” Starlight pulls back the magical hands and gives you a bop on the head with a hoof “I don’t want to deal with the other students calling you creepy, ok? Keep yourself in check.”

Geez, she didn’t have to bop you like that. Goddamn, you could easily handle yourself around some chicks. “First of all, that’s cheating. Secondly, I am in check!”

“Sometimes I wonder…” Starlight said, with another eyeroll, but she does have a quick chuckle about it before getting serious again. “Ok, on to business. Chrysalis, yeah, you all seem to have a pretty good plan. Except for the fact that none of you realize that she could just as easily get somepony else to get Twilight, hurting everypony in their path as they do so. How are we going to get around that?”

Huh, Chrysalis could do that, couldn’t she? But given this is a chaotically bound deal, it most likely had near douchebag genie-like rules. “Uhhh, don’t think she would do that. Chrysalis understands chaos pretty good, and the deal she made most likely extends to anypony she hires. She’d still be the cause of somepony else getting hurt, so that would be a big risk. And even then, I doubt there is anypony out there who’d want to kill Twilight. So whoever she gets wouldn’t be a pony, and would stick out like a sore hoof. And that is assuming, of course, she’s crazy enough to trust somepony to even try. Chrysalis doesn’t do partnerships either, she only does minions, and as we all know, most minions are kind of dumb.”

“So that is how it works, huh? Hmmmm…” Starlight began to ponder on that. “So as long as they are going by her will, it’d still be a big risk to her. Hm, kind of hard to figure out a way to use somepony else to get at Twilight if it still risks jeopardizing her existence. I already know she would have trouble doing it herself if what Twilight said was true about that weird changeling that lives with Applejack.”

“Yeah, we pretty much have our bases covered. Plus, Chrysalis is really weak right now, she couldn’t do anything to Twilight in her state. Without siphoning a crazy amount of love, she won’t be able to take her on in any way. Her plan is doomed to fail, I even think she knows that too. It’s just, y’know, her way of coping.” You sigh. Dammit, Chrysalis, as easy as a win this is, it’s still crazy to think she’d make such a deal. She was at such a terrible disadvantage, to the point it makes you think you’d have to protect her from accidentally hurting anypony else in some kind of rage.

“I dunno, she doesn’t seem like the type to just give up. But I can’t think of a way of getting close to Twilight without being noticed. Anon, look, just because everything seems one hundred percent foolproof, doesn’t mean it is. Watch your back, please. There could still be a way to use you to achieve her goals. She may not be able to hurt you, but if she gets that horn, then there is no way we can practically stop her if she beelines towards Twilight. I mean it, Anon. You want to see me angry at you? Mess this up and I’ll probably be the one in Tartarus. I’m serious, I know this could be it, the big one for your friendship with her, but be careful anyway. Got it, understand?” Starlight looks to you, a half serious, and half worried stare. She just wanted you to be ok, for you to be happy, for you to have your goal. But she also doesn’t want to see her other friends turned to soup.

“Y-yeah, Starlight. I promise, for reals this time, I won’t let you down.” You tell her as you pat your chest. “We’re equals, right?”

“Yeah, heh.” Starlight giggles as she baps your head lightly “Except when you finally show up for your classes, then I’ll be your counselor. Don’t worry, I can work out your kinks.” Starlight said with a wink.

You wink at her back. “You know, in human, you just sort of implied you’d have sex with me in kinky ways.”

Starlight’s expression soured as her horn glowed, bringing you a saddlebag with school supplies that she drops on your face.

“Ouch! Geez, sorry, gawd.” You say as you rub your nose, sneezing once, and then exhaling a bit to clear it up.

“I’m sure you are. These are your school supplies for your last day, Twilight told me to give them to you.” Starlight tells you, still rather displeased with that last comment.

“I guess. Fuck, uh, where is everypony anyway? I expected hugs from my aunt and breakfast and stuff.” Where did everybody go?

“My guess is Fluttershy just let you have your sleep, they all have responsibilities, y’know? Twilight is up in her library now, researching surveillance spells while she waits for Applejack to bring Scrappy over. And you, Anon, need to get going, you only have about twenty minutes to get to class.” Starlight tells you as she tries to ease up from your saucy comment.

“Pfft, is that all? I could get there in one, but I think I’ll walk it anyway to enjoy the morning air.” You still had one more day of unlimited POWAR! And you did want to finally visit Tempest Shadow. Been awhile since you’ve seen her, and this is the perfect opportunity to make a day of it. Just had to wait for school to end. You put on your horn and summon up your own saddlebag, opening it to let in your school supplies from the bag Starlight gave you. “Also, this is the only saddlebag I use. Near unlimited space, and yet I can always pull out what I need.”

“Just remember what I told you, Anon, don’t get too cocky, that’s all. Anyway, I better be getting to the office. Remember what I said, stay out of trouble, and keep your eyes open. But not for other mares, got it?” Starlight asks you

You nod “Yeah, I got it. You take care, Starlight.”

“You too, Anon” Starlight says back to you.

And she just teleports away after that. Ah, it gave you an itch to do that yourself, but you really did want to take the time to relax and uhh, oof, your tummy. Yeah, you use your magic to summon up a delicious sandwich for you to eat as you make your way out of the castle. And as you munch and trot down the entrance stairs to the castle, you suddenly hear a weak little whine.

“Pwofessor…” Said the weak little voice.

What? When you look to the side, just at the bottom of the steps… “Cozy?”

“Mhmm, Pwofessor…” Cozy looked upon you, worried more than anything, with big teary eyes. “A-are you ok? Did she hurt you?”

‘Did she hurt you’? What the hell OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! “U-umm, who hurt me? Y-you mean, Twilight?”

Cozy shook her head “No, Headmare Twilight would never do that. I-I meant that mean ole Queen C-chrysalis. Golly, I was b-by H-headmare Twilight’s office when I heard Spike say to the other professors where you and her were. It made me awfully worried. No, not worried, I was so so scared for you. A-and…” Cozy rushed over to you and started to cry “I’m soooo glad you’re ok. Gee willikers, Anon, it must have been so scawy. I know I would have been super duper scared if I had to face such a big meanie.”

You tensed hard. S-shit, goddammit, Spike, is that door not soundproofed or something?! Oh no, how the fuck were you going to explain away this one?! Poor thing, she must have been sick with worry. You gently nuzzle into her, brushing your hoof on the back of her head. “H-hey, Cozy, it’s ok! Everything is fine, neither me nor Twilight was hurt. We just sort of went to deal with a special something, that’s all, don’t cry, ok? I was just, well, ummm.” Cats out of the bag, Anon. “Trying to reform her, that’s all.”

Cozy sniffed, then looked back up at you, her eyes just leaking tears. “B-but, why her? I know her hive is all good now, but isn’t she still bad? Are you trying to reform her, like you did with counselor Starlight? Gee, Anon, that sounds really dangerous. Y-you’re my only friend, I can’t stand it, it’s too scawy thinking she can hurt you.”

Wow, she was really focused on you, she didn’t even mention Twilight’s involve- Wait, you’re her only friend, still!? “U-ummm, well, y’know. It’s what I do. But it’s a super secret kind of thing I’m doing, Cozy. You have to promise me you won’t tell anypony, ok?”

“O-ok” Cozy said without hesitation or reluctance. “W-what are you doing now? D-do you want to play with me? We can go to my room, and play with my dollies, i-it’ll be fun. You can show us all your hero training, t-that’s what those things are on your legs are for, right?” It looked like she was trying really hard to find a way to cheer up. It seemed the actual matters at hand didn’t bother her, she was just really worried about you.

And ah damn, you really would, but you do have to go to school. Dammit, Anon, think. How are you going to get this filly to smile?! “Ah, um… Yeah, that’s what it is. And, well, I gotta go to my last day of regular school actually. Umm, s-sorry. But hey, I still got some time! Look, you said something that’s got me really worried for you now.” Ok, time to find out how she doesn’t have any friends.

“Right, umm… Yeah, I guess that’s important. Erm, but you’re worried about me now? Anon, I’m not in any twouble, really I’m not. You don’t have to worry about me, not o-one bit.” Cozy said, sounding like she was going to shatter right there and then.

“But I do worry, Cozy. You said I was your only friend. I know it’s only been a couple of days that Twilight’s school has been open, but you haven’t been able to make another friend yet? Have you tried?” Like seriously, this was one of the sweetest fillies you ever met, how could she fail at friendship?

Cozy’s ears folded in, she just looked down in shame, tapping her hooves together. “W-well, I do have my puppets and dolls, they’re my friends. Oh, and you too, of course! But… I have tried making other friends, weally, I have! Golly, Anon, I’ve tried so many things already. From offering to carry books to helping with friendship notes. I’ve even held the door open for everycreature I meet. But nocreature looks at me, or thanks me, or anything. Sometimes they even laugh at me because when I try to carry my books with their books, I fall over. I feel so dumb, I felt like I could make friends with everycreature, but I can’t make any friends at all. I-I thought about talking to Counselor Starlight about it, but then I got afraid that she’d just laugh at me too.” Cozy then looks to you, then falls over, planting her face to the ground. “I’m so sowwy, Pwofessor, I’m not good enough to even be your friend!”

“That’s not true!” You grab onto Cozy again, and hug her tight. “You’ll always be my friend, Cozy, always! Ngh, look, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!” What the fuck kind of school was Twilight running?! Well, you knew about at least five of the foreign students, and they seemed cool enough. Ugh, but what about everyone else? It is a friendship school, so does that mean a bunch of the students are just hardasses that Twilight wants to drill the magic of friendship into their heads?! Was that it!?

“Why?! Why are you sorry, Professor?!” Cozy doesn’t break the hug, no, she hugs tighter, leaking her tears onto your back. “You didn’t do anything wrong at all. It’s me, I’m the bad pony!”

NGH! NO! THAT ISN’T IT AT ALL! “No, Cozy, I do have something to be sorry about. I know I said I can’t hang out with you a lot because I’m always out doing something, but that’s just it, I let myself lose my focus and didn’t take your feelings into account or even really got to know you. You made me your best friend and everything, and I couldn’t be there for you. And the worst part is, I still really can’t, especially right now.”

“I-I know, it’s because of your hero work, right? It’s ok, Anon, it weally is. I-I don’t mind being alone, honest.” Cozy said, her voice, and her hug, becoming pathetic and weak.

“And that’s just it, Cozy, I won’t let that happen either.” You slowly back off from her. She looked at you, confused, as you placed your horn on your head. You didn’t know if you could conjure what you were going to conjure, you didn’t know if it’d be chaotically in line enough. But goddammit, for this filly, you really needed it to happen. You said you won’t let it happen, you won’t, YOU CAN’T. You focus your entire mind on these mind shattering thoughts, and use it to conjure a… “Holy crap, I did it? I-I mean, Cozy, BEHOLD! THE ANSWERS TO YOUR PROBLEM!”

Cozy quickly wiped her eyes, looking at your conjured item with confusion and amazement. It simply looked like an old little trinket. “The a-answer? A-Anon, what is it?”

“A compass! Ah, but not just any compass, Cozy. This compass is a magical compass, a special kind of magical compass that will solve your friendship issue. How does it do that? I’ll tell you! It will only work until you find what you’re looking for, and it will only point to your true heart’s desire.” Thank you Pirates of the Caribbean. “And I know…” You give Cozy a gentle poke on her chest. “That your true heart’s desire, is to find a friend. A friend who will always be there for you.”

“Professor? I-I, is that true? Does it weeeaaaallllyy do that?” Cozy looked at the compass intently, almost hungrily even. She even gave it a poke. To you, she just seemed innocently skeptical, despite her intense stare.“You’re not fibbing, a-are you?”

You shake your head, feeling proud, tears coming down your eyes as you knew what to expect after this. “Nope. I may not be able to hang with you as much as you need, Cozy. But I’m still your friend, and I want to help you anyway I can. This compass will point you to the pony or creature that will end up being your friend. Of course, you’ll still need to do the groundwork to make that friend, but this will point you in the right direct-OMF” Cozy just dive hugs into you, crying again, nuzzling her head all along the side of your head. “Cozy, I’m still sorry…”

“Anon, you don’t need to be sorry.” Cozy backed up again, and even raised her hoof to wipe your tears away. She took a breath, and gave you such a sunny smile. “You do so much for me, despite barely knowing me. You make me feel like a big filly, a filly who will never give up! I call you professor because you always manage to teach me something about friendship! And now, as your student, I have to show you what I learned!” Cozy takes the compass, and holds it up. “Don’t worry, Professor! I won’t let you down!”

...Heh, what a good little filly. How could you doubt such determination. “I know you won’t, Cozy. And don’t worry, I’ll make a lot more time for you soon, especially when I start going to Twilight’s school.”

“I can’t wait! Then you can show me all the fun things you like to do too! And- Oh no! Anon, don’t you have school? You better hurry!” Cozy said, shocked, putting her hooves to her cheeks.

“Huh?! Right! Wait, but. Cozy, still, I mean, it’s not that import-” But Cozy cuts you off, closes her eyes, and shakes her head.

“It is important! This is the last day you’ll be able to learn with your friends at school. Professor, you already gave me everything I need, you really helped me out! It’ll only be one more day, right? Then we can have all kinds of fun together. Don’t worry about me, I’m alright now. But if you don’t go to school right now, I’ll be very mad at you, mister.” Cozy gives you an angry pout, before suddenly giving you an adorable grin.

D’aaawww. “Alright, Cozy, you convinced me. O-oh, wait. One more thing, that compass? Yeah, also, make sure to use it when you really need to use it. It only works once, and uh…” You weren’t exactly sure it’d work without a more chaotic reasoning given how you made it. “Just make sure you use it when you really need to, ok?”

Cozy nods, and smiles. “Ok! I promise! Oh, I got something to say too, Professor! Be careful with your mission, ok? I never want to see my best friend and greatest teacher with a frowny face. I know you can do it, but you weeeeaaallly need to be careful too! Promise me, Anon, promise me you’ll be careful!”

Ooh, lordy, first Starlight, now Cozy. Yeah, you can be careful, especially now that everything was coming together anyway. You just give Cozy a wink and a gentle mane ruffle “No sweat, I promise, Cozy Glow.”

“Yay! Now you get going, Anon, or else you’ll be late!” Cozy giggles as she gives you a warning.

“Gotcha.” You nod to her as you start to walk off, waving goodbye to her. You did good again, Anon, you solved a problem before it festered.

But, that problem, Cozy not being able to make another friend. As you trotted towards Cheerilee’s class, you couldn’t help but feel like something was amiss. Again, Cozy is very adorable and sweet, and unless Twilight’s school is full of delinquents, it doesn’t seem too likely she’d have trouble making at least one friend there within the first two days, not unless everyone was nervous or something. Also, what was she doing eavesdropping on the five and Spike like that? Maybe it wasn’t intentional, but it does seem weird they’d talk about Chrysalis so openly without someone noticing someone else could hear. And the compass, the way she looked at it. Was she desperate? Or was it something else? Then again, she was a filly, maybe she just saw all her answers within the compass. A friend, right? Yeah, what else could the compass point to? A toy maybe? Her parents? A coltfriend? Oohh, you suddenly felt a bit of dread, hoping that damn thing didn’t lead her back to you.

“Anon! Hey, Anon!” You heard yelled out, coming from behind you. You were already on the road to school, but given some foals were already rushing, you may have spent a little too long with Cozy. “Wait up!”

You look back, to see Scootaloo rushing towards you, donned in her helmet and riding her scooter, fast as always. “Scoots? Hey, what’s up?”

Scootaloo quickly circles around you, then stops beside you. “Going to school, that’s what’s up. This is your last day, right? You got anything cool planned? Y’know, maybe a little something something to make it memorable?”

“If you mean a little chaos magic to lighten the mood. Eh, nah, I want to spare Miss Cheerilee any heart attacks today. Wait, so you know this is my last day?” Huh, you didn’t tell her earlier at one point, did you?

“Everypony knows, news spreads fast when it comes to you. ‘Hero Colt soon to enter the soon to be prestigious ‘School of Friendship’ or something like that. I dunno, everypony makes a big deal over nothing sometimes. I mean, is the school even that great? Other than Rainbow Dash, of course, it sounds like any other school to me.” Scootaloo asked as she began to steadily scoot forward towards the school.

You shrug, you had no clue, other than the fact it might be possible the students are assholes. “I mean, from the few times I went in, I saw some baking… And there was like this assignment to say hi to everypony in town. But it’s still pretty early. Who knows, maybe it’ll have something that’d make you and the others want to join in too, eh?”

“Maybe, but me and the other crusaders didn’t get any invites to the school. Weird, considering, y’know, Rarity and Applejack work there. But enough about that, are you nervous at all about going? Then again, why are you going? Oh wait, never mind, I totally forgot you got this whole crazy sense of friendship thing going on.” Scootaloo said. The way she said it, you could sense bitterness all of a sudden... You knew what she meant. Ugh, why even mention it? It seemed to come out of the blue.

“Scoots, I dunno, maybe you don’t have to hold on to that grudge anymore, y’know? Chrysalis is hurting too. I know you don’t like her, but she really isn’t as bad as you think.” Ugh, you were lying a bit there, and yet, you really wanted it to be true. “Why even bring it up?”

“Ngh… I dunno. I mean, maybe that was my way of wanting to talk about it. Applebloom overheard Applejack talking to Scrappy about something related to her. You’re really trying again, huh? You shouldn’t involve him, he’s only going to get hurt. He doesn’t deserve it.” Scootaloo was upset, it seemed. Ugh, not just Cozy then, the CMC knew too. Not as much as she did, it seemed, but enough for it to be a bother.

“Yeah, but I’m really making progress this time. Look, right now… Wait, so you don’t even know what my shackles are for? You didn’t even mention anything about them.” What was that all about? You’d think she’d have noticed.

“Those? I thought you were just trying to be really edgy today, since it’s your last day. I uh, you do know they look terrible on you, right?” Scootaloo said, now curious as to the true purpose of the shackles are. “What, are they for something else?”

“Erm, look, Scoots. I’ll say this to you, and you can tell Sweetie and Applebloom, but nopony else. I’ll also tell Diamond, of course, because she’s kinda in the whole loop with Chrysalis. But uh… Ok, Chrysalis sort of made a magical bet that she could end Twilight without hurting anypony else. And it kinda conjured these things on me and her to signify how binding it all is. Understand?” Oh no, she already came to a full stop, looked at you with big wide eyes, and shouted...

“WHAT?! HOW C-” But you saw this coming. You grab your horn and pull the same zipper magic on her mouth that Discord would use on you.

“Quiet! Geez, ok? Yes, it happened, Twilight was there. She and the others are ok with it, we got it all sorted out. Scoots, c’mon. No, you know, don’t even mention that to the others, ok? Our secret, I really do not need this going out of proportion, ok? Please? Promise me you won’t tell. Just tell them the basics, since they already know about Scrappy.” Fuck man, you could already see the CMC getting in the way. The last thing you needed was the trio fucking ruining everything you worked for because they got really scared over it. Scootaloo herself, you realized, couldn’t say anything as she pointed at her zippered mouth. Right…

You reach over and pull the zipper back, allowing Scootaloo to speak again. She gives you a hard and even angry stare. “Don’t ever do that again, got it? Also, are you serious? Why can’t I tell them? They are just going to get super curious if I just mention you're trying to reform Chrysalis again.”

“Because, truthfully, this is the final final FINAL thing I need to do to get Chrysalis to reform. It’s part of the deal, and we already have enough of a plan to make sure Chrysalis can’t win. Scoots, please, I know they’re your best friends, but I really need you to keep it a secret. Please, it would mean a lot to me. Just tell them I'm just giving it a shot.” Please, Scoots, pleeease.

“I guess, if you tell me why they need Scrappy.” Scootaloo says.

“They only need him to sense when Chrysalis gets close to Twilight. Part of the deal is that Chrysalis has to strike eventually. So with Scrappy, we’d know for sure if she’s around.” You tell her

Scootaloo’s expression just twisted slightly, she looked confused. “Uhhhh, don’t you still have your map? It can pinpoint both Chrysalis and Scrappy, right? Why didn’t you just give it to Twilight?””

“I…” Your eyes go wide… Right, she was fucking right. Damn, Starlight was right, there were still possibilities to consider, at least on the defensive side. “Uhm, truthfully, I didn’t think of that.”

“Uh huh, hmph, well, I guess this is why we’re partners. Hmmmnnn….” Scootaloo, as quickly as she eased up, suddenly tensed, pondered, then sighed. “Anon, I still don’t like this at all, but you’ve been trying so hard for so long. Are you really sure this is it? We can help you, y'know?”

“I’d really like to think so, Scoots. I already said I’d put a stop to her myself if she tries anything else. I really can't accept any more help, this is endgame for me. Please, understand.” You tell her, your mood lessening as your thoughts drifted to having to put down Chrysalis.

“That’s pretty heavy. But what she’s doing is pretty crazy too, I’d never make a deal like that, it’s stupid. So stupid, it kind of makes me think she’s desperate for something. Um, like, she wants to lose.” Scootaloo said, her own mood dropping as well, as her mind became conflicted with wanting to see you succeed and wanting to see Chrysalis just… Go away.

For you, well, at least someone got it. “That is what I’m thinking too. It just has to be, right? Why else would somepony make a deal that doesn’t benefit them whatsoever.”

“Yeah, thinking about it, I totally see what you mean. Alright, alright, for real, I won’t say anything to anypony they won't already know. As for Scrappy, I guess I... Uh, I guess I can just say you said to ask Applejack. I'm sure she'll tell us something that has nothing to do with anything. But, Anon, you better keep me updated, ok? And don’t leave anything out.” Scootaloo looks to you, she wanted to involve herself in some way, or at least know of the ongoing progress of this endeavor.

Ugh, fine. She already knew enough. And she did come up with the map idea, you’d have to give it to Twilight after school, she’ll need it more than you do at this point. “Got it, thanks, Scoots.”

“No problem, now let’s hurry up! We’re gonna be late if we don’t hurry.” And with that, you and Scootaloo headed straight to school. Heh, another line of defense, brought on by Scootaloo. Maybe letting her know about this wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Though, looking at her, you could see it was still weighing in on her mind. As for the others, no doubt they'd still be curious, you'd just have to hope Scootaloo can stifle that curiosity somehow.

The school wasn’t too far at this point, You just trotted along with Scootaloo, keeping pace as other foals were already entering the building. But Scootaloo stopped after a moment when the last foal could be seen going in, as if she noticed something wrong. “That’s weird.”

You slow to a stop, wondering what was on her mind. “What is?”

“The bell, it didn’t ring. It's weird, since we’re late.” Scootaloo said as she moved her helmet to scratch at her head.

You shrug. “I dunno, maybe somepony forgot to ring it? Why is it a big deal?”

“I’ve never heard the bell being rung late before, huh. And I know we have school today. Oh, maybe Miss Cheerilee got sick or something. That makes sense, right?” Scootaloo asked as she began to slowly scoot over to the school again, you following.

“I guess? What’s wrong, Scoots? You seemed pretty spooked all of a sudden.” Why was she suddenly on edge? Not like having a substitute or school being cancelled for a day would be that big of a deal. Hell, Cheerilee probably forgot to ring the damn thing.

“I got a bad feeling, that’s all.” Scootaloo said as she parked her scooter next to the door. “Like, a feeling that I’m only feeling because it has something to do with you. No offense or anything, it’s just there’s always usually something, y’know?”

“Yeah, but I really doubt anything is going to happen in class.” You tell her as you began to make your way inside.

“What? Anon, something ALWAYS happens when you’re at school. Well, sometimes always, like it’s some sort of law or something that something happens most of the time. Hmmm…” Scootaloo peers inside. Everyone was in their seats, and it looked like Miss Cheerilee was at her desk, she could see her mane, but her face was covered by a giant newspaper she was reading. This somehow triggered something in Scootaloo as she gulped, as if she had learned something by being around you so much. “Ah, nuts. Anon, I think your Dad is here.”

“How do you… Oh geez, can he be any more obvious?” You looked through the door next to Scootaloo, spotting the ‘silent teacher’ reading her paper as the other students began to feel a little nervous, some even raising their hooves to try to catch ‘her’ attention. “What does he even want? Like, Scoots, trust me when I say this, I have no clue.”

“That kind of makes things scary, Anon. Last time he decided to teach a lesson, things went really wrong… Sorta. I mean, we all learned something, but it was like, crazy real on how he did it. I can’t even think... Wait, what did he do with Miss Cheerilee then?!” Scootaloo said, backing up in shock.

“I’m really hoping she’s just sleeping somewhere. Look, whatever, we can deal with this. If he tries anything, I’ll just tell him off, ok?” Like seriously, you don’t mind Discord most of the time, but when it comes to school, he’s always causing a ruckus. “Let’s just go in casually, and see what he wants.”

“Mnnn... “ Scootaloo didn’t really answer as she continued to look on. She was pondering on something, and just like that, she calmed down. “Maybe… it won’t be so bad. I mean, that whole thing that happened at the wedding, and the fact we’re supposed to be friendly with each other because of Four. Maybe he just wants a chance to teach a lesson before you go away. Maybe this won’t be as bad as we think.”

Hm? Well, that was a sudden change of heart. “You suddenly aren’t worried? I dunno, Scoots. The deepest most emotional thing can happen to him and he can still be a jerk when he wants to be.”

“Except to your Aunt. And since we’re all here, and we had good memories with his clones, I just think maybe I was overthinking things. Think about it, sure he probably put Miss Cheerilee somewhere dumb, but would he really just decide to be a jerk to me and the girls, and even Diamond? We’re all supposed to be friends, so, yeah, maybe he just wants to teach us something cool.” Scootaloo, why was she trying to rationalize this? Then again, why are you doubting it? Diamond is here, and when it comes to her, he seems to show her a lot of respect. Weird, but he does it. Maybe Scootaloo was right.

“I dunno, still kind of weird, but it makes sense. Can’t really think of a reason for Dad to be a jerk all of a sudden anyway, me and him have been really tight lately. Plus, given this is in front of everypony, I don’t think he’d want my Aunt finding out he did anything bad.” You said.

Huh, Scoots was really making sense now that you thought about it. Discord really had no reason at all to be an ass today.

“Alright! Let’s go! I’m kind of excited to see what he’s got planned!” Scootaloo, becoming more positive as she thought of what Discord could do, went inside and took her seat.

You didn’t really reply, you just walked in. Many of the ponies inside began to gaze at you as you took your seat. All except Snips, who seemed more caught up with talking to Snails about something.

“Miss Cheerilee? We’re all here now.” Pip spoke out “You’ve been awfully silent, is there something in the paper that’s part of today’s lesson?”

And it happened, Discord, with a wig matching Cheerilee’s mane, tosses the paper away as he looks upon the class. He was donned in eyeglasses and a blue vest with a red tie and white undershirt. “No, but I can assure you that today’s lessons will be quite interesting.” Discord said with a malicious smile. And while you expected some or all of the class to rise up, scream in terror, and run… None of them did, both to you and Discord’s surprise. “Aren’t any of you going to yell my name or try to jump out the window? I have them all set to have you drop right in from another window and I will not have them being unused.”

Pip just blinked, and continued to speak with a smile. “Mr. Discord? Oh hello, erm, why would we do that? You’re the ‘Hero Colt’s’ father! You’re amazing!”

“... Uh huh, despite the last time being the exact opposite of that? And the rest of you, you’re all fine with me teaching today?” Discord asked, only further confused by the class’s reaction.

“I mean, I’m ready to run if anything crazy happens, I also know I’m just gonna use the door if it does.” Rumble says, not really minding, but ready to bolt on the word go.

“Ahrm, what he means to say is that we don’t mind you teaching us today. This is Anon’s last day, after all, so of course we’d be prepared to learn from somepony as great as you.” Diamond answered, already brown nosing.

Discord blinked silently, then looked over to the CMC specifically. “And you three, not even suspicious?”

“Well, I’m not, especially since we know deep down you like us now.” Scootaloo told Discord, grinning genuinely at him with a warm smile.

“He does? Scootaloo…” Sweetie moved over and whispered in her ear “Did you forget that this is still Discord, and that Miss Cheerilee is missing?”

Scootaloo leans over, and whispers back. “Yeah, but she’s probably fine. Plus, remember, me and him are supposed to be friends. I’m willing to give him a chance, so how about you two?”

“Ah guess.” Applebloom whispered, leaning in to join the conversation “But do you really think he has all of them memories?”

“You know I can hear the three of you, right? You’re right there. What makes you think I’m even here to teach an actual lesson? For all you know, I could be here to do something crazy and involve everypony in something scary and dangerous.” Discord retorts, not at all enjoying how everyone is being so accepting of his presence. “Do you really think a couple of memories can keep me from having my fun?”

“Um, maybe not, but you like enough of us here to maybe not do those things. Plus, if you were going to do something like that, you wouldn’t tell us you were going to.” Scootaloo says, smashing Discord’s ‘malicious’ position with logic.

Discord just stares at Scootaloo for a long moment, silently, before shifting himself and pointing at Silver Spoon. “And you, you’re not worried about what I’m going to do?”

“U-ummm, i-if Diamond isn’t scared, then I’m not scared.” Silver Spoon said, adjusting her glasses from her shaking, and slowly ducking her head as her ears folded.

Discord raised a claw to try to tell her that she was dead wrong, but then he looked into Diamond’s eager smile, and stopped himself. “I see… and-” And suddenly, there was a pony cutting him off with a fearful scream. “Finally, now who is that scream-OOPH!” Discord, as powerful as he is, is actually shoved aside as Snips rushes through him to get to you.

Snips just looks at you frantically, shaking, and says with a shout. “THIS IS YOUR LAST DAY?! WHY DIDN’T ANYPONY TELL ME YOU WERE MOVING AWAY FROM PONYVILLE?!”

“I, uh, what? I thought… Why? What? I’m not even moving away from Ponyville, I’m just going to Twilight’s school, that’s all. I technically don't even live in Ponyville anyway. Why does tha-” But Snips just hops on you, and starts crying as he squeezes you tightly, enough that you could barely breathe.

“Noooo! You can’t go! I’ll be alone in my dream to become an extraordinary pony!” Snips cried out, still squeezing as tightly as he can. “Snails gets to be a famous Buckball player, you’re the Hero Colt, and I’m nothing! You have to let me be your sidekick now, you just have to!”

Gyah! Geez! How could he still be on this?! You fall backwards and do your best to shake him off as you try to gain breath. “Snips! Geez! Snips, get off! Get off!”

“I can’t! What else am I supposed to do to become super wicked cool!” Snips cried out. “You can’t just go! I neeeed youAGHH!” Suddenly, Snips is grabbed by the tail and pulled back. Discord, annoyed that he was interrupted, holds Snips at eye level and stares him down.

“Excuse me, but I do believe class is in session.” Discord said, disgruntled, and simply wanting to move on.

Snips just furrows his eyebrows, starts to yell, and points at Discord. “This is your fault! You’re the reason Anon is going away!”

“What?! Me?!” Discord says, shocked, bringing a paw to his chest. “I don’t actually think he should go there! Or maybe I do? Who knows, depends on the potential of fun at this point. Anyhoo, who are you to challenge I? I am the lord of all things chaos and current teacher for the day. I am Discord! And I will have respect from ALL my students, capiche?”

“Then make me Anon’s partner, now!” Snips demanded.

“How dare you… Hmmm.” For a moment, Discord stopped to consider it, his eyes slowly trailing towards you as he gave you a wicked smile.

Oh hell no! “You better not! I swear, it’s over between us if that happens! Why is this even a thing, why doesn’t he become Snail’s agent or something?! That’s a thing, isn’t it?”

“Oh… Wait, that’s a good idea!” Snips said, as if a light bulb went off in his head. While still hanging upside down, he placed a hoof on Discord and pushes to spin himself so he’s facing Snails, who was sitting in the back of the class. “Hey Snails, you don’t mind, do ya, pal?”

Snails just shrugs, and gives him a goofy smile. “Ok”

“Well, what a boring outcome that was.” Discord said with an eye roll as he lets go of Snips, letting him drop to the floor with a thud. He crawls back to his seat as Discord snaps his talons, producing a blackboard. “In any case. Today’s le-” But once again, Discord is interrupted, this time by Applebloom.

“Now ya hold on, Discord. Where is Miss Cheerilee anyway? Ya better not have done anything bad to her, or else we ain’t your friend no more either.” Applebloom said, the other CMC joining in with a nod.

“Are you accusing me of sending her into a horrid dimension, full of beasts and monsters who could tear apart a pony in seconds, a place in which escape is impossible? Surely you’re not suggesting that.” Discord said as he leaned into the blackboard, crossing his arms as he looked to the CMC with an aggravated glare.

“What?!” Sweetie Belle yelled out. “Is that where you sent her?! What kind of monster are you?!”

“A mish mash of many things, thank you for asking.” Discord said with a chuckle.

“Discord, we’re serious! We’ll go get Twilight if that is where you seriously sent Miss Cheerilee! We’ll get Twilight and Fluttershy, you hear me!” Scootaloo said as she stood up on her hindlegs and slammed for hooves onto her desk. She was willing to give him a chance, but that was way too far.

“Ugh, this is why I asked if you were accusing me of it. I actually sent her to an island paradise. Has coconuts, shade, sun, and of course, the beach! Shame on you three for accusing me of something so horrid. I think she deserves the vacation I gave her, if only for the one day she’ll get it. Look!” Discord spins the blackboard to reveal a window. He opens it to reveal Cheerilee, who was on a beach, running for her dear life from islander ponies throwing spears at her. “There see? Look at how… Oh…” Discord looks back at the class, in which now all of them, even Diamond, was giving him a stink eye. “Oh don’t look at me like that. This was merely an accident, I actually meant to send her here.” Discord snaps again, and Cheerilee finds herself being instantly transported to what looked like an actual beach resort. Too bad she was sent right on top of a high dive plank, mid frantic run, as she found herself screaming, plummeting down into a pool. Discord closes the window and flips the blackboard back to its original form. “There, are you all happy now? That is a five star resort. If you don’t think she deserves that then you are truly an ungrateful bunch.”

Diamond, it seemed, didn’t like the way Discord was acting. She stepped off from her seat, and walked right up to him, looking at him with a scowl. “You know, you’re not being very nice right now.”

Finally, you would have stood up to Discord, but you were still trying to regain your composure from Snips squeeze attack.

“You should at least make sure that Miss Cheerilee has all she needs for her vacation from Barnyard Bargains. Making sure you also leave bits equal to what you take, and putting it in the register.” Diamond says with a wink.

Gyah! What in the?!

Discord just chuckles and snaps his talons. “Done. Now, please take your seat, Diamond. Today’s lesson will be something I’m sure you’ll be interested in.”

“Ok! And thank you for your business, ahrm, Discord.” Diamond keeps things formal as she does a curtsy, and returns to her seat. She then shoots you a smile, and winks. God, you just put your face down on your desk. You couldn’t believe he was getting away with this. So embarrassing, so goddamn embarrassing, how can this get any worse?

“What is the lesson? You haven’t even told us yet.” Scootaloo asked, still skeptical of Cheerilee’s safety, but feeling that if Discord is true to his word, then she might actually be having a good time.

“Chaos, of course.” Discord says as he has a piece of chalk with bat wings write that very word onto the blackboard, with the word ‘magic’ added to it. “Or to be exact, chaos magic. I thought, given we have fans and friends of my boy here, that it’d be very interesting to learn how chaos magic works, affects the typical creature not well versed in chaos, and even some of the nuances of Anon’s horn. Now, before the unicorns in the class get all too excited, this isn’t a lesson on how to actually use it or how it is performed. Such things are reserved for masters such as myself… And only myself. I trust there are at least a few here interested in this lesson? I think it’d be a chance of a lifetime to learn something as amazing and mysterious as chaos magic. Wouldn’t you agree? Random student I am now pointing at.” Discord said as he pointed to a clone of himself, sitting on a randomly produced desk, with a little propeller cap on his head.

“Oh yes! I think that would be amazing, Mr. Discord! Please, show us!” The clone excitingly replied.

“Actually, that does sound rather spiffy. I’d love a chance to learn about it myself. I think, after witnessing Anon’s amazing feats, that learning how chaos magic can be used for good would be a great lesson indeed.” Replied Pip, already ready to take notes on the subject.

“It’s not going to hurt, is it?” Said Twist, who seemed a little fearful of Discord’s presence.

“No, I don’t think Discord would go THAT far. As for the lesson, well, I have been learning more about magic myself, I think it might actually be neat to learn a little chaos stuff.” Sweetie says, curious as to see what Discord had planned. “As long as he isn’t going to pull a trick on us or anything.”

Holy crap, everyone was just falling into it hook, line, and sinker. Then again, getting a refresher on chaos magic may not be too bad. It's not like... Wait, he also said how your horn works, didn’t he? Oh holy shit! This petty little fuck! He literally took over the entire class and pulled off this entire charade because he wants a chance to explain that STUPID power up or whatever with the horn! That was it, wasn’t it!? This was all fluff so he could finally sit you down and explain it to you! You rise up from your seat and point directly at Discord, pissed, and not willing to take that shit. “Really?! This is all over that thing, isn’t it?! I told you before, I don’t need it, and I don’t want your stupid explanation! You're just a freaking jerk!”

Discord suddenly began to slowly crack, literally, even his glasses broke as he seemed to feel a sting in his heart. “Ngh, Anon. I-I see. I-I….I suppose I had overstepped myself. Not asking your teacher to teach, barging in without asking, creating a lesson that would not go over well with many a pony. I can see why you’re upset with me, your father.” Discord sniffed as he began to cry. He looked upon the rest of the class, as he did a pathetic little bow. “I apologize, fillies and gentlecolts, for my intrusion. I shouldn’t have done what I did. Please, enjoy your advanced math lessons your teacher had planned for the day. I shall just snap my talons and-” But Discord is interrupted by nearly every foal in the room. All of them crying out for him to stay, that he’s fun, and that they want to learn about chaos magic. Obviously, none of them wanted to do math if they could just see something cool like chaos magic.

Diamond just slowly peered over to you. Her tone of a domineering sort. “Anon, what gives? Why are you being so mean to your father all of a sudden? I hope you wouldn’t treat me like that, so you better apologize to him right now or I won’t talk to you ever again.”

WHAT?! “Diamond!” You whisper loudly to her “Are you serious?! It’s not even about the lesson, it’s just… Diamond, agh, c’mon…” But she wasn’t listening, she just looked away with a ‘Hmph’, refusing to even look you in the eye. In fact, as you looked around, other classmates were kind of looking at you as if you did something bad or something. One even speaking up, asking you why you, the hero colt, would say something so mean. U-ugh, agh… You then look to Discord. Oh yeah, behind those tears, he was laughing hard, that asshole. “S-sorry, Dad, I was just. I dunno, you know...ngh.”

“Indeed, I do know. Forgive him, my students, he’s just been having a rough couple of days.” Discord said as he suddenly fixed himself, everything about himself reverting to his usual jovial self. “Now then, let us begin the lesson!”

“Now then, class, we shall now begin the lesson. There is a lot to learn about chaos magic, but since we only have one day, we will only go through the basics and some interesting tidbits. First and foremost, however, I want to highlight the durability of chaotic objects created by chaos magic.” Discord said as he paced left and right in front of the class. He then stopped, conjured a cane, and pointed directly at your shackles. “And the bands on Anon’s legs will be used in this experiment. Those terrible, ugly, rusty looking shackles.”

W-what?! Why did he have to call attention to them?! Well, wait, why does that worry you? Nobody knows why you’re wearing them, and nobody even seemed to have noticed that you were. That was kind of strange actually…

“Oooooh, so that’s why Anon are wearing those things? Ok, whew” Diamond said, wiping her forehead in relief. “I almost thought that he just… Ahrm, acquired some kind of weird taste in fashion sense.”

“Oh, I just thought nopony was saying anything because Anon looks like a straight up ugly, dastardly, escaped villain. Gutter trash and... EEP!” Snips falls back on his chair when not only you, but Diamond, look back at him with deathly stares. Like, the combined power of the glares he was receiving may have been enough to surpass even Fluttershy’s patented ‘Stare’. “I didn’t mean that! I-I mean, Anon always looks good, always! I swear, please don’t hurt me!” Snips said as he cowered in his seat.

“Hmph, that’s what I thought.” Diamond said with a nod before looking back at Discord. “Oh, erm… I-” But Discord interrupts her with a head pat, giving her a gentle smile. It was clear Diamond just felt bad about interrupting Discord’s lesson and wasting his limited time. But in truth, Discord didn’t mind after seeing that.

“No need to fret. You merely did what you had to do to correct his opinion. Isn’t that right, Anon?” Discord said as he began to twist one of his talons with his paw.

“Yeah.” You give a big grin towards Diamond, earning her adorable blushy little smile. Hell, you were like a couple right there, fuck Snips for insulting your… Well, these are actually pretty ugly looking on you. But whatever, fuck him! “I mean, you did what I would have done if anypony insulted the way you look, which is super cute by the way!”

Diamond hid her face, feeling so adorably embarrassed. Of course, a few classmates gagged at the very thought of this, earning Diamond’s rage again as she looked back and yelled out. “Hey! Who said that?! Don’t make me go over there!”

You just giggle lightly at that. Discord? He just raises his paw and calls to Diamond. “Alright, alright, that’s enough. I am on a limited time frame, you know? Ok? Ok, good. Now then, Anon, please raise your forelegs and place them on your desk. “

“Alright, no problem.” You nod as you do as your told. “So, what, you’re gonna try to bash them with a hammer or something?”

“Close.” Discord said as he reached behind his head and pulled a hockey mask down on his face. He then opened a small dimensional hole, causing the entire class to become an eerie red color, and reached in to pull out a giant fucking chainsaw, already revved up. With the entire class already in a panic, he holds the spinning blades of the chainsaw over your legs, and prepared to bring it down. “Hold still, Anon, or you’ll have more than a splitting headache.”

“EEEK! HE’S GONNA SLICE HIM IN HALF! HE’S GONNA SLICE EVERYPONY TO PIECES!” Silver screamed out as the entire class began to try to leave the classroom. Everyone but you and Diamond.

Diamond just looked on, curious, unafraid. “Those shackles are stronger than that thing? Are you sure?” Diamond then looked to you, to try to figure out how you felt about this. “Anon, you’re not scared, are you?”

“Nah, it’ll be ok.” If you’re correct, ‘legally binding’ in chaos sense should mean nothing can break these shackles, both literally and figuratively. You should be fine as long as Discord… OH GOD! OOOHHH GOD! HE JUST CAME DOWN WITH THE CHAINSAW AND SEVERED YOUR LEGS FROM YOUR BODY, AS IN, RIGHT NEAR THE BASE! “GYAAAH! HOLY CRAP! HOLY CRAP! GYAAH! WHAT DID YOU- AHHHHHH!” You fell over and started flailing on the ground, screaming, trying to get up. Holy shit! He really did it! He really sliced them off!

Diamond already panics, not expecting something like that at all, and looks to Discord, frantic, trying to figure out why he even did that. “Why?! Why did you do that to Anon?! How could you?!”

“Hm?” Discord lifted his hockey mask and looked to the ground. He could see you on the ground, screaming. He then looked to Diamond and shrugged. “What? It couldn’t possibly hurt that bad, there isn’t even a hint of fluid flying around the room. A lot of screaming from Anon and his peanut gallery though.”

“Fix it now, Discord! Or I’m telling Fluttershy!” Diamond said, slamming her hoof down. “You went too far! You really hurt Anon! Fix him! Fix him or else!”

“Fine, if you insist.” Discord said as he tosses the chainsaw a few inches away. The blades land right on the shackles of your severed legs and immediately twist and shatter, the chainsaw sputtering and stopping dead as it was unable to even dent them. Discord picks up your screaming form, spins you about as if you were a jigsaw piece, and easily sits you down back on your desk, sliding you forward enough to reattach your legs back to your body. “There see? No harm done. Well, except for my chainsaw, poor thing never stood a chance.”

“Geez!” Dammit, you thought you were ready for that one! But you weren’t expecting to actually see your legs sliced off, even if it was all for a freaking gag. “Ok, ok… They work, I can move them. Dad!” You look over to Discord, tap at your forehead, and then point at him. “Do you think you could have at least WARNED me?! You scared everypony to near death!”

“I’m sorry, but I have to agree with Anon. If you were going to do that, then you should have done it to somepony else.” Diamond said with a dominant nod.

“Somepony else?!” Silver rushes over to Diamond, appalled that she’d even suggest such a thing. “Why is it ok to do that kind of thing at all?!”

“Ok, come on, Silver. Nopony was really going to get hurt, r-right?” Diamond did realize that she had felt a bout of doubt when she saw you panicking. But now that everything was ok, it began to become very clear to her that Discord truly meant no harm.

“Of course not! I’m one of the most responsible chaos spirits you’ll ever meet.” Discord said as he leaned down towards Silver with a toothy grin.

“You’re the ONLY chaos spirit we even know about! You could totally, like, mean that you’re also the least responsible chaos spirit ever!” Silver retorts angrily, already reaching her tolerance of his shenanigans.

“Yes, but that means it can be either or. Besides, lesson is done. As you can see, Anon’s shackles don’t even have a mark on them. Truly chaos is amazing if it can withstand and even break such a fearsome blade.” Discord says as he grabs the broken chainsaw and tosses it behind himself. “Now, take your seats, my little ponies. I’m open to questions.”

“E-erm…” Twist cautiously takes her seat, both afraid yet interested in the fact chaos did seem pretty powerful. But the question she had in her mind, yes, that was something she needed answered for sure. “M-Mr.Discord, what about harmony? Can’t that defeat chaos?”

“Of course not! Yes, I am aware I have lost to it, and yes, I’m aware it tends to defeat every little beastie and villain that opposes Twilight and her friends. But let us think about it this way. There is only one of me, and I can steamroll Equestria without nary a resistance. Even the power of the alicorns are no match against me and my powers. And yet, everypony sees my powers as the weaker variant despite the fact it takes six ponies and a bunch of superpowered rocks to defeat one, count them, ONE draconequus. Tell me again that chaos is inferior, as I’d love to see what would happen if there were five others, five I’d dub the ‘Elements of Chaos’, that went against the Elements of Harmony.” Discord said as he adjusted his glasses, staring at Twist as if she were a lower form of being for her insulting question.

“U-umm, actually, that does kind of make sense. There is only one of you.” Twist replies sheepishly, but understanding his logic.

Christ, that actually could be a thing. Well, if you were part of those said elements of course. Sure there could be six masters of chaos that could take on Twilight and her friends, but without the human edge, they’d still get blasted.

“Well, glad to see there is some understanding and intellect around here. Now then, the introductory lesson is over. Now, we’ll learn about chaos magic itself and how scary it can be to use. Anon, my dear son, is exemplary, but not perfect in its use. Therefore he and his horn will be the perfect middle ground to what I’m about to explain.” Discord snapped his talons as the room darkened. He then held his paw up to produce a cube of black and red swirling magic as his voice took a dramatic tone. “Chaos magic. A powerful and fearsome form of magic that very VERY few can use, and even then, only about one or maybe two can even master. While all pony magic is grounded in some form of harmony, which allows them to cast spells and move objects around. Its power is only based on their limits and the reality they reside in. Chaos magic however, is a whole different beast.” Discord starts to shape the magic into various forms, from animals to objects. “You essentially hold reality in your hooves! You can summon anything, change whatever you want, alter the minds of others, warp reality to your whim, and even summon breakfast easily so you don’t need to go through the mundane task of cooking it up.” Right after Discord says that, however, Applebloom raises her hoof, causing the lights to come back on as Discord flinches so hard that an audible crunch can be heard. “Gyah, yes?! Is there a reason you’re interrupting my lesson?”

“Well, uh, ah just wanted to say that cookin’ is fun! It ain’t mundane at all. Granny Smith always says that everything you make depends on how much effort ya put into it. If you can just make things happen with a snap, then you’ll never know the fun of actually doin’ it.” Applebloom explains, not really jiving with the fact that Discord seems to just make everything happen for himself however he wants without much effort.

“Oh, I see, how very true that CAN be. But you assume I don’t know anything about that at all. I have cooked for my son, of course. And as for the kinds of tea parties I rarely but do set up for Fluttershy, I make sure everything is absolutely perfect for her in a way she never yet always and yet NEVER expects. So, Applebloom, unless you have something related to the lesson itself, I ask you to keep your mouth shut and not interrupt the ominous aura I have set up.” Discord said as he leaned forward, tapping his talons on his desk.

“E-erm, a-alright, was just sayin’ is all.” Applebloom says as she lowers her head a bit, looking down and whispering. “Didn’t have to be mean about it. Ah didn’t know.”

“Ahrm, now then…” The room darkened again, and Discord continued with his explanation. “Chaos magic, if you don’t have a mastery or a vast understanding of it, can be very fickle and quite treacherous. Even with Anon’s horn, which filters more of the adverse effects of chaos, those who actually try to use it in a more harmonious sense or without such an understanding will find the spell they cast will either not work, come out wrong, backfire, or even twist in such a way that the caster would not expect. To use chaos magic, one must understand chaos. You can’t just point at something and make it what you want, or summon something and expect it to work exactly as it should, it just doesn’t work that way.” Discord changes the magic he manifested into an orb and starts to bounce it around on his ‘knees’. “Many can say that chaos magic seems to work exactly as I intend it to, because it does in the sense that I know exactly how to control it and I myself am a being of chaos, meaning I needn’t worry about the usual ill effects I will soon explain. Everypony must also know that if I use my magic to make things EXACTLY as it should, it will work as well, but could have consequences on my very body and soul. Not something I like to admit, but too much order in my own castings can cause ill effects for myself. Which then brings me to what should happen if chaos magic is ill used and mismanaged. As I said, when I use chaos magic incorrectly, it will cause terrible consequences. Namely, I will become more orderly until I fade away. For ponies and other beings, even those you might consider evil, they are still part of some sort of harmony, and therefore must cast chaos magic in a way one would not expect. Let us say one of you were to cast chaos magic through Anon’s horn… Oh wait.” Discord snaps his talons as the light comes on. “I think we could do for a live demonstration. Who here would like to try Ano-” But before Discord can even finish, Scootaloo’s hoof rises in the air. “Oh, that’s interesting. Do you really wish to try, Scootaloo?” Discord asked.

“Yeah! I’ve been around Anon enough, I think I can handle it!” Scootaloo says, her excitement mounting at the chance to give it a shot. “I’ve been wanting to try it, at least once. And I’m sure I can do it! I just know it!”

Huh, well, it’s not like you don’t know Scootaloo. As in, you could trust her to use the horn once if it’s in front of you and Discord. Could be interesting depending on what she casts. Anything major, hopefully, Discord will deal with. “I mean, sure, I got no problem with it. I already know this lesson. Basically, Scoots, if you don’t know enough about chaos, then your spell is gonna be all weird, alright?” You tell her as you remove your necklace and toss the horn towards Scootaloo.

But right when Scootaloo was about to catch it, Snips, out of nowhere, catches the horn as it merges with his own. “Hahahaha! Yes! Now I’m the hero colt!”

“Snips! What are you doing?!” Scootaloo called out.

“What?! You can’t have my Anon’s horn, you give that back right now!” Diamond growls as she hops off her seat to approach him.

Ah shit! He already looked like he was about to cast something! You grab Diamond and hold her back as the rest of the class began to back off. “Diamond, wait! Hold on! Don’t get near him!”

“But he stole your horn!” Diamond cried out to you. “We can’t just let him have it!”

“I know! I know that! But trust me, ok? Remember the lesson?” You move in and whisper to her. “Just watch.”

Diamond, although confused, gives it a small moment of thought, nods, and joins you at your side as you just watch. Scootaloo was going to try to take it as well, but Sweetie and Applebloom were already holding her back as Snips began to float upwards.

Snails just casually got up from his seat and walked over to Snips, just staring at him. “Uh, Snips, did you know you’re floating?”

“I do! That’s because I’m going to cast the best spell ever! Just watch!” Snips calls out.

“What’s that?” Snails asks.

“What else? I’m going to make myself a true hero! With a sword, and armor, and super strength, and everything! I’ve been following Anon’s exploits too, so I know I can do it! Now watch, because here it cooooommmeeesss!” And so Snips cast his spell. In a flash of light, various items that smelled like food began to slam right into him, before two long pieces of bread came upon him. After the spell was over and the light faded, it was revealed that he more or less made himself a hero ‘Colt’ sandwich. “Ahhhh! WHAT HAPPENED! WHY IS EVERYTHING DARK AND SMELLY! WHY DO I TASTE CHEESE?!”

Immediately, most of the class began to laugh as Discord walked up and squeezed the sandwich tightly enough to send Snips slipping along the floor. “A sandwich, for me? You shouldn’t have. Almost perfect, but I always find myself having to pluck one or two things off.” Discord said as he starts to bite into the sandwich before breaking his teeth on something. “Ah, almost forgot about this.” Discord said as he opened the sandwich again, pulled out the horn, which seemed to have gotten stuck inside, and held it towards Scootaloo as his teeth popped out of the roof and bottom of his mouth. “So, still want to give it a try?”

“Um… No, that’s ok.” Scootaloo said with a gulp as she declined the horn. Despite what Discord had said, she felt she still had a chance to cast the spell she had in mind successfully. But after witnessing the utter failure of Snips, she suddenly felt that just wishing for a scooter that can move super fast might be a bad idea. Also, he had his mouth on it. “I-I get it. I just now realize I can’t really… Erm.” Or more, she didn’t want her ‘spell’ to make her scooter chaotically fast in a way that she might blast herself off to the moon. “Use it. At least not yet.”

“I see. Diamond, you’re practically family, would you like a go?” Discord said as he held the horn towards her.

“I’d like to, I realllly would. But I understand that what I would want to use it for might warp Anon’s mind, and I don’t want that at all. Besides, anything else that I may want can still be mine. I'm totally rich, after all.” Diamond said as she stood there proudly.

Wait, mind warp? Wut?! “U-uhh, what do you mean by mind warp, Diamond?”

“Oh, y’know. I kind of wanted to make a place to try the horizontal waltz! But a waltz has a lot of harmony that goes into it. So, I figured it might do something to your mind to get it to work. And I never ever want something like that to happen.” Diamond explains.

Discord just chuckles as he tosses the horn back to you “Indeed, none of us want that to happen, now do we, Anon?”

GUH! GOD NO! GOOD FUCKING GOD! THAT’D BE A SEX SPELL! WHAT HORRIBLE OUTCOME WOULD THERE BE IF SHE TRIED TO CAST THAT! “Y-yeah, erm, right. Aha! Um, so… Y’know, yeah. There’s uh, more lesson to listen to, right? L-let’s get back to it. Erm, I mean, there’s still the stuff about mutations and stuff, right?”

“Ah, very right, Anon, very right. Hm, hey you!” Discord magically grabs the near unconscious Snips and plants him back on his seat. “You may want to pay attention to this part. Or don’t, could be funnier that way. Annnnyyywayyyy, Anon is correct. Chaos magic, aside from needing a vast understanding of it to cast properly, also has unforeseen effects on the body, different from what happens to me when I cast it in an orderly fashion. Namely, if one is to take on too much chaos or chaos magic, they will find their bodies transforming at a rapid rate, near instantaneous really. With this also comes various states of madness, depending on your way of thinking. Now, you needn’t worry, as it is a temporary change. Now what’s that you say? That I’m capable of changing everything upon my own whim? Well, yes, I can, just like how very powerful ponies can turn beings like me to stone, one’s will can also have an effect on chaotic transformation. Now, there is a side note. If one was to take chaos in for too long, and allow themselves to succumb to their madness, then the transformation can very well become permanent… Mostly… Even that can be rather fickle. Now I bet you’re all asking yourselves about the fact that Anon has not transformed at all despite all his exposure to chaos. Well, thanks to Anon’s understanding of chaos along with a natural resistance to chaotic elements, Anon really needn’t worry about the transformative effects of chaos unless used directly on him. And even then, unless the spell is kept in check, then he is capable of changing back and recovering from chaotic spells much faster than the average pony. However, sadly, Anon has come to take on harmonic elements a little too much to my liking, which can sometimes lead him to grave danger when it comes to his hero work as his horn depends on his chaotic whims. Because of that, I thought it would only be right to give his horn one extra upgrade…”

Oh boy, here we go, the explanation on that BIIIIIG upgrade.

“Now, its true the horn also filters a lot of the ‘negative’ effects of chaos magic. Not completely, mind you, but enough, as evidenced by our rude little unicorn colt not changing outright.” Discord said as he leered over at Snips.

“I’m sorry! Ok?! I didn’t know it’d be that tough! I swear!” Snips yelled out as he groveled at his seat. “I really am sorry!”

“I bet… Anyway” Discord said with a shrug. “Some could still succumb to very mild changes to body and psyche with overexposure to having the horn on your head. Something Anon, you can say, is utterly immune to. However, as mentioned, Anon’s recent harmonic elements, such as fearing for others, using logic when he shouldn’t be, and other such things, has and will lead him to situations where not using the horn to its greatest potential could lead to his defeat. Therefore, when the powers that be senses Anon might be on his last legs, the filter then becomes a mass concentration of chaos so strong that it can affect some of Anon’s body and a lot of his mind, allowing him the clear thinking he needs to bring the chaotic finishing blows on his foes. What does that mean to you all? Nothing really, I just felt an explanation on that part was in order. Chaos magic is a great power, that requires reckless responsibility to wield. It’s why Anon is truly the only one who can wield it, he truly does mostly have that understanding on how things work. But even then, he still needs that push.”

“Ok, look. I get it.” Really, you did. Basically, as you truly understand it now, it’s a transformative power up that makes you more crazy and reckless, allowing you to use chaos to it’s true potential. “And I’ve used that ‘upgrade’ before. But let me ask you this, Dad. What if the horn activated that power while I was in Ponyville? Isn’t that dangerous?”

“Yes, and?” Discord said with a shrug.

“Doesn’t Aunt Fluttershy live in Ponyville?” You really didn’t need this upgrade, even if it let you slap the Storm Ravager. You always did well on your own, and you know you could have decimated him without that upgrade. Then again, it wasn’t just him. It also activated on Garble, though the effect wasn’t as strong. It seems the bigger the threat, the more it feeds madness into your mind. But you already had days to think about it, and it is an upgrade you can do without. You had this, really! How were you supposed to even fully master chaos with that kind of handicap anyway?

“Huh, she does, doesn’t she? Hmm…” Discord said as he turned away from the class. “But I can tell you just don’t want to deal with this wonderful gift I have given you, despite how useful it has been. I get it, not everything I do is wanted or truly useful. I can remove this effect with a snap, and I will. But know this, Anon. Should you find yourself in a situation where you need it, you will have to call upon it yourself, manually. Also, if you do that, I expect an apology party for doubting its usefulness.” Discord said as he snapped his talons, despite the effect of it not being so obvious.

“Sure, whatever, I get ya. But if I go a long time without ever needing it, I expect at least a third, or even a fourth charge on this thing, got it?” Oh baby, you could already tell he was in one of his subtle competitive moods, something you’d take advantage of right now.

“Hm, you prove me wrong this time and I’ll grant you unlimited magic forever. Yes, I suppose you’d deserve that much if you can show you truly have enough mastery to not need my gift.” Discord said as he leaned in, staring at you, smirking. “Of course, if you fail and need it, then I expect a ten thousand word apology to go along with that party. Understood?”

Heh, no sweat. No villain has shown up since the Storm Ravager, and he’s probably dead, so no problems there. “Understood. Just don’t go back on it when I win.”

“Same for you, Anon, same for you. Let’s see… Ah yes, I’m supposed to be teaching. “ Discord said as he walked back and snapped his tail, producing a book. He starts to thumb through it until he reached the page he wanted to stop at. “Ah, here we are. Yes, grand demonstrations as a teaching tool, how marvelous. Tell me, class, how do you think, I, your amazing teacher, should demonstrate a showing of true chaotic power, hm?”

Another student, Featherweight, raises his hoof, and is then called on by Discord. “Well, I have been wanting to get amazing pictures of both you and Anon. Erm, what if you two had a big battle? I could get a lot of amazing shots then.”

“Oh my, that sounds amazing! I-I mean, as long as nopony is hurt. I think it would be a once in a lifetime chance to see Anon and his father have at each other. Erm, again, with none of them getting hurt.” Pip said. He wanted to see a really cool fight, but he was at odds with the fact that either Discord or you could be hurt.

“...Now that is an idea I have never considered before. Eh, but it wouldn’t be much of a fight. Anon stands no chance against the likes of me. He’d need thousands of years of experience before he even came close.” Discord said as he scoffed at the idea, dismissing it as a folly. But the class itself whispers about actually wanting to witness such a spectacle.

“What?! Hey, come on. I’m better than that.” Your ears fold a little as disappointment mounts. How could he say that?! You weren’t like before, you had more than enough skill to at least match him. You were only really limited due to the charges you were allowed per day.

“Actually, erm, Anon.” Diamond looks to you with a frown, and shakes her head. “I don’t know. Discord is really really powerful. And from what I remember, the horn’s power basically comes from him anyway. I-I don’t mean to say that to put you down, but I know how you are when it comes to challenges. I don’t think you should even consider fighting your father.”

“Yes, listen to her, Anon.” Discord said as he arrogantly began to blow and examine the claws on his paws. “True, you are pretty good. But as I said, you are many moons and millenniums behind me in actual skill. I must say though, I am curious, now that it was mentioned, to see how you stack up. But for the sake of Diamond, I think I should just call it here and bring back Cheerilee so she can get started on those math lessons. What do you think, class, are you ready to learn some numbers!”

The class was like putty in Discord’s mismatched hands. They didn’t want to learn boring math when they can witness a climactic battle of chaos. The Hero Colt versus the Lord of Chaos! What a fight that would be. They began to cheer you on, to get you to accept. Diamond however, she was getting annoyed by it all. She slams her hooves down as hard as she can to gain the attention of the class, and then stares them all down as she begins to speak. “I will not allow this to happen! Are you all crazy! Anon and Discord are both super amazing, but it is so not cool to have them fight each other!” Diamond then looks to the both of you. “And you both shouldn’t even consider it! Like, seriously, no!”

B-but, you knew you had a chance, you have the power! Both you and Discord just look at her and ask “Why?”

“Because! Whoever loses won’t be able to live it down for awhile, especially if it’s Discord! Either way, all this will end up doing is making you both really really sour at each other for a long time. And I care about you both enough that I don’t want to see it happen at all, do you hear me? Just, no!” Diamond said, demanding that you both bend to her will on this.

“First of all, that’s not true. Second of all, I won’t lose. Really, Diamond, you’re overreacting. The rest of the class wants to see this, and it’ll be a good way for me to really see how far along Anon has come. Even you must agree that the thought of Anon fouling up in some future fight due to not being ready is a worrying thought, no?” Discord said, already trying to manipulate even her. He was too curious now, he wanted this to happen, he wanted to see what you could do. Both as a mentor and as an asshole.

You? Well, Diamond did have a point. Beating Discord would make him super salty. You could handle a loss, of course. It’s no big deal. Besides, you want to show Discord, personally, how far you have come. You have to admit, a lot of your skill and understanding of some of the nuances of chaos has come from him, with the rest of what you know coming from your own training, resolve, and love of cartoony antics. If Discord was willing to give it a shot, then you’d oblige him. “Yeah, it won’t be like that Diamond. Me and Dad are total bros. This would just be a friendly exhibition match. Besides, I have been wanting to really put my skills to the test. And I think everypony deserves a good show before I leave school. And that goes for you too, I want to show you all my skills.”

“Ngh, but Anon, what if something does go wrong?” Diamond was still uncomfortable about it, of course. Time for some slick moves.

You get out of your seat and walk up to her, looking deep into her eyes and giving her a kiss on the nose. “If something goes wrong then that’s just how chaos works. It’ll be ok, promise. Me and Dad know how things work, all you gotta do is watch and root for me.”

“But what if you lose? You have to promise me you won’t get mad at your father if you lose. Promise?” Diamond asked, really wanting your word on this one.

“Promise.” You tell her with a nod.

“Before you even ask me, I promise as well. I don’t wish to cause an upset with anypony, really I don’t. Well, I do, just not with any of you. Bah, you know what I mean.” Discord said as he detached his body parts to give them a stretch. “If it bothers you that much… Win or lose, I will be a sport about it. Anon is my pal, my chaos buddy, and my son. Hmm…” Something right then clicked within Discord. Did he really want to flaunt his skill too much? No, he began to feel that same hint of worry as to what made him modify the horn in the first place. He wanted to know that you could truly hold your own. What better way to see how far you truly come than this fight? He could see for himself if you could do without the upgrade. “Yes, I can do that, for sure. How about you, Anon? I know it is unlike me to suddenly be this agreeable, but I think the students here deserve a show and a display of good will.”

Discord’s look, it suddenly changed. You knew that change, something hit him, a heel turn. Ugh, goddammit Anon, you’ve been an ass again, haven’t you? It’s hard, people have personalities! Ugh, but to just go too far and be selfish and whiny… Eh, dammit. Ok, ok, you can do this. If you were right, then it seemed Discord may want this to be more of a show than a fight. If you were right, you’d treat it as such too. Anon, come on, win or lose, it’s just a spar. Get off your high horse, and just have some fun with it. You need it, you need to de-stress about Chrysalis. You had friends and family too, you know? Best not to ruin that. “Right, you’re totally right about that, Dad. Alright, I’ll give it a go. But for this fight, I’d like to be known as the ‘Prince of Chaos’, that ok with you?”

“Anon, I wouldn’t have it any other way. That is a title worthy of my son. Alright then. Diamond, are you alright? Will you allow us to do this?” Discord said, awaiting her words.

“Well, you both did promise. And I’m kinda with the class, I think it’d be really neat to see you both fight. Ok, you have my permission!” Diamond said, her worry soon changing to excitement, feeling she could trust the both of you on this.

“Woah, this is going to be soooo cool!” Scootaloo let out. The class joining her in her cheers.

“Oh boy. Er, Discord, ya think we can do this in one of yer pocket dimension thingys? Ah don’t think Ponyville can handle a battle between y'all.” Applebloom suggested. She too was actually curious about the fight, but she’d rather not see her home obliterated by chaotic madness.

"Indeed I can, in a place most fitting for this fight." Discord said as he raised his talons for a snap. "It's showtime!"

It was time…

The pocket dimension of choice was, well, it was obvious Discord was looking into your own thoughts on this one as the entire dimension itself was that budokai tournament arena from Dragon Ball. Except all the dragons, were of course, of Discord. The audience seats were mostly empty sans the class sitting in a cluster on the southern middle side. The announcer, another Discord clone, was busy brushing his luscious golden locks to stand straight up. Discord himself was resting on one corner of the arena, reading a newspaper as he took to some tea.

You sat on the other corner, both Scootaloo and Diamond at your side as Discord felt you needed some ‘personal trainers’ to pep you up and be able to throw in the towel should things get too intense. They were even in grey sweaters with cute little grey beanies. As for you, you felt confident in your chaotic abilities, you also felt you could go further with it than Discord could if you really needed to. Add in his arrogance and you may just have this in the bag.

“Man, Discord really went all out with this one. Looks like a real arena you’d see in comics.” Scootaloo said as she took a look around.

“Focus, Scootaloo! Like, this is Anon’s big chance to show everypony just how skilled at chaos he really is. Daddy Discord isn’t going to be a pushover, so we have to make sure Anon is ready!” Diamond said, scolding Scootaloo as she was obviously not taking this seriously.

“Relax, Diamond, it’s not that serious. I have a ton of tricks up my sleeves and I have loads of practice. It’ll be fine.” You say as you slide a hoof along a shackle. If anything, you even have armor that may actually defend against any direct attacks Discord might have.

“Sounds good to me. I’ve never even seen Discord fight anyway. I mean, how tough can he be? He pretty much just stood there when Rainbow Dash and everypony else hit him with the elements. And don’t forget, even Tirek managed to beat him. Anon has this in the bag, for sure.” Scootaloo said with confidence.

Diamond just brought a hoof to her face, growled, and then looked to the both of you. “That’s because he got blindsided. Scootaloo, I don’t expect you to know, but I totally expect Anon to know that! And besides, did anypony notice Daddy Discord doesn’t even really fight, like, at all? Every time he’s ever done something big, it was always something psychological. He’s great at mind tricks. Anon, you’ll have to make sure he doesn’t fake you out.”

That was true. While Discord has done slapstick, especially on you, his big plans usually involve messing with the psyche of his targets in some way. That’s what he did in his premiere, and that’s pretty much what he tried to do against Fluttershy on his second showing. Hell, even messing with both Twilight and Cadance for some petty bullshit that one time. But you weren’t a simple pony, and you knew Discord pretty well, you knew you could see through his tricks. “He won’t. I understand how he works, and I’m not that easy to fool. Even Princess Luna’s dream walking stuff makes me so aware that I’m lucid the moment it becomes too obvious. So any illusion Dad has is nothing to me”

“Really? How?” Scootaloo asked, rather curious about the Luna thing. “I can’t think of anypony who’s ever managed to notice Luna's magic unless she’s being super direct.”

“I… Don’t know really. I have trouble with lucidity on my own, yet I just notice when she’s around. Could just be my whole chaos au-” But before you can finish that sentence, Diamond shakes her hoof in front of the both of you.

“Hey! Hey! Focus, remember?! Besides, you both forgot something super important!” Diamond said.

“What’s that?” Both you and Scootaloo ask.

“That he HAS beaten the princesses in a straight up fight! He totally steamrolled them until they used the elements on him! Hasn’t anypony noticed that if he’s paying attention then he’s pretty much unstoppable? Anon, I know you’re using the same magic as him, But Daddy Discord might actually put in the effort to fight. None of us have any idea what to expect. With that in mind, Anon has to fight as defensively as he does offensively. No doubt Daddy Discord has a bazillion tricks he can pull too, so you’ll have to be totally careful. Got it, Anon?” Diamond said as she gave you a serious look “Because I will not be happy if he takes you down in less than a minute. And if I’m not happy, then you’re not happy. Got it? If you lose after a minute, then I’ll understand. But if it’s just under a minute, then I’ll know you didn’t listen to me at all. And I’m going to tell you right now, Anon, if that happens, I won’t talk to you for a whole month!”

Woah, that’s pretty heavy. Then again, she had a really good point. Discord was pretty much untouchable in an actual confrontation. Everytime he made a mistake and got physically beat was because he underestimated his opponent or something unexpected happened. But the princesses aren’t that special, at least, not from what you’ve seen. Even with all the power Twilight has amassed magic wise, she still can’t do anything to Discord physically as well. Hm, it seemed you would need to actually be cautious of Discord. Every time he’s gotten you before, it was because you were vulnerable. If you can make sure to keep on your toes, er, hooves, then you should be able to keep up with him. “Point taken, Diamond. I promise I’ll be careful.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea too. I think Discord might actually be serious about this fight after all.” Scootaloo said with a gulp.

“What makes you say that?” You ask as you look back at her.

“That’s why” Scootaloo said, pointing back at Discord.

Discord was still relaxing, sipping tea, and laying back as a pair of boxing gloves hovers overhead. These gloves were busy punching and smashing a punching bag with your face on it, it was even screaming for dear life!

Diamond looked on for a moment, cringing, before looking back at you, determined to give you some motivation. “Oooohh, yeah he does. Well, erm, that’s why you, Anon, have to be super vigilant. I know he’s your father, but you’re still the best! In fact, you’re my prince!” Diamond said as she moved in for a smooch on your cheek. “My prince of chaos!”

Oof, those gloves were giving that bag a good pounding. But Diamond was right! You are the prince! If Discord wants to take this seriously as he looks like he is, then so shall you. Oh, and with that kind of pep talk, you’d have to make sure that kiss was well earned. “Yeah! No problem! Don’t worry, Diamond, I’m gonna smash that guy to bits!”

“Er, I mean, just regular smashing should work? He’s still your dad, Anon” Scootaloo reminds you.

“Yeah, but something tells me he can take it. Looks like he’s expecting me to handle it the same way too. So, y’know…” And with that, the announcer clone, donning some sunglasses, steps into the middle of the arena and waves for you both to come to the center. Discord whisks away his tea, gloves, and ‘you’ shaped punching bag and lazily strides to the center as he waves to the class. Of course, it wasn’t until the wave of your hoof that any real vibrant cheering could be heard. “Ah! Time for me to get up on the ring! Wish me luck, girls!”

“Good luck!” Scootaloo cheered. “And show em’ you’re as good at chaos as he is!”

“You can do it, Anon! But don’t win too hard, ok? I care about Daddy Discord too!” Diamond said as she called to you “And don’t forget to do some stylish poses! Show everypony why you’re my Anon!”

Heh, you were prepared to be stylish this whole fucking fight. You casually walk over to the center, and look up to Discord as the announcer began to speak into a microphone. “Welcome fillies and gentlecolts to the first annual ‘Chaotic Neko’ tournament! Don’t ask what a neko is, I do not care. But what I do care about is the battle that is about to take place in this arena today! The ‘Spirit of Chaos’, Discord versus the ‘Prince of Chaos’ Anon! Both fighters poised to show off who is the best in the art of calamity! Can we get a round of applause for these two epic fighters!” The announcer waits as the class stomps their hooves happily to cheer and applause for the both of you, or given their cheers, mostly you. “Alright! Now, the battle itself will be a treacherous one! Why? Because it has no rules! Well, actually, it has one rule!”

“One rule?!” Discord looks over to the announcer, finding what he had to say truly detestable. “This is a battle of chaos! How can there be a rule?!”

“W-well, boss, y’know…” The announcer clears his throat and then points around the arena. “You did kind of pull this whole ‘anime’ thing out yourself. Not my fault you didn’t realize there’d be a rule.”

“Well, out with it then! What is the rule? Because if it’s anything waffle related, you’re fired! Do you hear me?” Discord says as he holds up a conjured championship belt. “I’m the champ, you see, and I expect the best.”

“Heh, are you serious? Discord, you seriously don’t know what’s going on? You made the arena, bro, so you should know the rule is that if you get knocked off the ring, then you lose.” You say rather smugly. Holy hell, he made a mistake. Was he off his game? Either way, a possible ring out was something to consider now. You might be able to win this easily if you can get him off the ring.

“What?!” Discord grabs the announcer by the shirt and lifts him up, looking at him with dark and foreboding eyes. “Tell me he’s kidding.”

“Er, no, he isn’t, he’s right. Instant loss if you get knocked off the arena.” The announcer said with a nervous chuckle, gulping hard at the possible rage Discord was about to explode into.

“Man, you’re taking this more seriously than I thought, Discord. What? You’re afraid I’m gonna knock you off? C’mon, relax, this is between you and me. Whatever happens happens. And seriously? I thought you’d appreciate having an extra challenge.” Seems Scootaloo was right, he really was taking this more seriously than you thought he would.

Discord’s mad stare is cut off as he chuckles and let’s go of the announcer. “Oh, Anon, it seems you misconstrued my annoyance for anger. I merely believe that extra rule is much too beneficial to me. What fun will it be to finally show you a taste of true chaos if it can end so suddenly?”

“So it’s like that, huh?” Yup, he was serious alright. “Better watch out, Discord. I have a lot of combat practice. I mean, when was the last time you even got into a serious fight? You think you can beat me without some actual practice?”

“Oh naive little Anon, so confident, so sure of his victory.” Discord said as he leisurely leaned back and rested his head on his paw. “As good of friends as we are, friendship is something I already left at the door for this battle. For you see, Anon, this isn’t just a mere fight, this will be a once in a lifetime showcase of what I can do if I actually had to use my powers to their fullest. Do you want to know why nopony ever wants to ever actually challenge me one on one? Well, you’re going to find out soon enough.” Discord said as he looked over at you, smirking.

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll see about that. Hey, announcer guy, mind hurrying up? I wanna get this show on the road!” Like seriously. If Discord wants to pull that shit, then it was time to get serious!

“R-right, yes. Ahrm. That’s right folks! The singular rule of this fight is that a ring out is automatic disqualification. Both our fighters will have to generate their magical mischief without setting a single hoof down on actual ground. Fighters! Get ready!” The announcer steps backwards and hops off the arena, gazing upon the both of you as he pumps his arm into the air. “Annnnnnnnnnd FIGHT!”

“Before we actually do that what we must do…” Discord extends his arm to you, and looks to you with a warm smile “Good luck, Anon.”

“Good luck to you too, Dad.” You extend your hoof to his paw, and when you do…

Both you and Discord jump back as you both leave false limbs back where you once stood, both having fuses. They explode rather quickly, both being bombs left for one another. It seems you and Discord had already thought of the same starting trick, so you’ll have to keep on your hooves if you want to outdo him.

“Amazing! Both Anon and Discord use the same traps against each other! Sneaky, devious, and yet obvious to one another! Truly these two already seem to know one another inside and out!” The announcer yells out as he strikes a pose.

“Oh boy, well…” Scootaloo folds her ears and slowly slinks lower as she peers over the edge of the arena. “This is gonna get real crazy, real fast.”

“This is going to be fun is more like it! Go, Anon, go!” Diamond cheered out.

“Oh, Anon, I’m glad you didn’t fall for that one. Then again, that is one classic trick anypony should know. Which brings me to my following question, how do you plan to beat me now, hmm?” Discord says as he stood at the ready.

“Like this!” You can’t waste time. In an instant, you produce two miniguns on either side on your back, pointed at Discord, and already whirring at full speed. “This ain’t no Loony Tunes crap, Discord. Prepare to lose!” The guns immediately began to fire endlessly and rapidly towards Discord.

“Oh my, it seems a storm is a brewin’.” Discord said as he produced and held forward a huge umbrella that blocked your bullets as if it was harmless rain.

Dammit! Fine then! “You can’t stop me, Discord! Eat this!” You produce a rocket launcher on the center of your back, with one huge rocket ready to launch. As the bullets kept Discord suppressed, you fire the rocket straight up, targeting Discord for when it drops.

“Hm?” Discord wonders to himself as he looks upwards, seeing the rocket as it turns to drop on him. “...Is he serious?” Discord reaches into his pocket and pulls out a grenade. He then tosses it over the umbrella towards you.

Before you can even react, or even notice due to the hailstorm of bullets and the flash of the muzzles of the miniguns, the grenade lands right in front of you, immediately exploding into an inflatable Discord. You don’t end your bullet assault as you gaze upon it, as it seemed harmless. “What? Is he serious? I’m not some idiot AI that’s just going to change targe… Wait.” You look upwards to see the rocket turning to drop upon the inflatable Discord near you, it seemed to think the fake Discord was the real one. “SHIT!” You immediately use your magic to pop off the miniguns from your side as you dive backwards. The rocket drops and explodes right on the inflatable Discord, and you were close enough to still be sent back near the edge of the arena. “Gyah! What in the! How?!”

“Ooohh! An impressive display by Anon! But he was no match for the ingenuity of the ‘Spirit of Chaos’ himself. It seems that brute force isn’t going to save the day this time!” The announcer yells out to the crowd, who all gasped when the rocket hit.

Discord comes walking through the smoke of the explosion, very slowly and boredly clipping his claws as he looks towards you. “Tsk, tsk, tsk. All that and no results, a shame. Well, Anon, if you’re going to go all commando on me like that, then allow me to oblige you the same tactic.” Discord suddenly produces a ton of tentacles from his back that all have nail clipper ends to them. He brings them to his paw as he holds it out towards you and starts clipping at an insane rate, firing his very nail clippings at you like a gun.

“Ah crap!” You quickly stand up and start weaving left and right before producing a shield in front of you. But these nails, holy shit, they were sharp, they were shredding through it like paper. Even worse, while Discord’s aim seemed slightly random, it seemed he was able to predict your movements as a few of his ‘bullets’ were piercing through your legs or bouncing off the shackles. Holy hell, it hurt! “Ngh! S-shit!” Fuck it! You take the shield and quickly use your magic to hurl it at Discord like a discus.

Discord immediately stops to catch the shield in his mouth, donning a dog suit as he does so. “Haha! ‘Nailed’ it! But this is fetch now, right? Well, we all know what that means.” Discord chuckles as he throws the shield down on its side. It immediately heads towards you like a buzzsaw, glowing, as it started to produce other energy shields that split off from side to side, all aimed towards you.

Damn him and his puns and tropes. Ok, Anon, they are all along the ground, right? Then all you gotta do is… “HYAH!” You jump forward like a rocket towards Discord, spinning, as you produce a sword that hovered around you like magic. This sword was a giant broadsword. Normally big and clumsy, it will be easy to wield with your magic. Hell, you thought you would have had the jump on Discord with this one. But as you bring the blade down on him, it hits something else so hard that the force sends you a few inches back. Did he block it?!

“A sword? Really? How mediocre.” Discord scoffed as he brandished his own weapon of choice, a gigantic pen. “You have no hopes to defeat me, Anon. Just give up, you can’t win.”

“The hell I can’t!” You morph the broadsword into four lightsabers and point them towards Discord, these will cut right through his flimsy ass pen. “Let’s see you de… Please no.”

Discord, as you looked back up at him, was now in all black, in an armor that made him seemed part machine. His helmet was shaped like his head, but with a face mask equipped with a breathing apparatus. His pen now glowed, matching the power of any lightsaber. “Anon, I am your father.”

Your eye twitched, was he really fucking doing this? “Fuck off, Discord. You don’t know Star Wars!”

“You have controlled your chaos. Now, release your madness! Only your insanity can defeat me.” Discord said with heavy breath, his voice mechanical and deep.

You just roll your eyes at him. “Christ, Discord, that isn’t even funny. Like, I was just gonna use these to slice through whatever you had. You couldn’t have come up with something better than that?”

“You’re as ignorant as you are gullible.” Discord said, unmoving, breathing slow and heavy.

Gullible? Ignorant?! Fuck him! You were none of those things! “That’s it, you’re done! You wanna be Vader? Then prepare to be Luke'd! Eat this!” And you rushed him, flailing your lightsabers around as he easily blocked and parried them with his lightpen. All you had to do was keep attacking. Even if he blocked everything as easily he was doing, you were still making him step back. Closer, closer, and closer still, until finally… “It’s over, Discord. You can’t keep this up forever!”

“How foolish of you to believe that, Anon.” Discord says as he lifts his face mask and shrugs, speaking normally as he does so. “Then again, I haven’t been able to do a darn thing to you with this pen. I suppose it is only mightier against one sword and not a blade more. It seems this is my swan song.” Discord said as he tossed the lightpen aside, it’s energy tip cutting through a rope that was… tethered… to the ground?

Uh oh…

You look straight up to see a piano coming down upon you. You yelp as you jump backwards, the piano coming down with a crash. “Holy crap, that was- wha huh? wh-HEY! WOAH!” Suddenly, a wind began to blow, growing in power as you began to slide back.

“What is this?! Discord has suddenly summoned a gigantic fan to try to send Anon to the other side of the arena! How will Anon deal with this one?” The announcer yells out in surprise, baffled by such a move.

“Do you feel that, Anon? I do believe this is called the ‘winds of change’.” Discord said as he began to cackle madly. Floating behind and above the fan as he watches you being blown back.

Shit, shit! The winds were getting stronger! Even as you use your magic to try to stick your hooves to the ground, the growing winds were starting to get worse and worse by the second.

Both Diamond and Scootaloo were ducking next to the edge of the arena to avoid the powerful winds. They didn't want to be blown away.

Wind, how could you deal with this?! WAIT! ‘WINDS OF CHANGE’! HAHA! YES! “I got him right where I want him! Let’s do this!” You use your magic to summon ‘The Wind Waker’, a magical baton used to shift the winds. “Up, left, right… And!” Just like that, with waves of the magical baton, The fan spins the opposite direction, with the wind shifting towards Discord.

“What in theOOF!” Discord is sent flying back and past the arena ground, slamming right into the wall before he could even react.

“W-woah, did I do it? Did I win?!” Holy shit! You did it! You really did it! And with only a few wounds.

“Anon… Woah…” Scootaloo dares to look over the edge, and could see Discord had fallen off the arena. “He… Really did it! Yeah! Go Anon!”

“He did? Wow! He did! That’s my Anon! I knew you could do it!” Diamond cheered

The crowd began to cheer, you finally did it, you won! You showed you were truly the best! You look over to the announcer, and call on him to announce your victory. “Yo, hey, what’s taking you so long? Say I won already.”

“But you didn’t. Rules stipulate that you have to fall off the arena. As in, on the ground. Discord was sent flying into the wall and… Oh wait, he’s not there, where did he go?” The announcer said, scratching his head as he looked around to try to find where Discord had gone to. Even the giant fan was gone. Shit! You blew him too hard! He didn’t hit the ground!

You began to look around frantically. Goddammit, you should have finished the job! You were so close, and you fucked it up! But you still had the advantage. Whatever he was going to pull out, you’d use whatever you knew to counter him.

Discord, he really might be the toughest opponent you’ve faced yet.

Where did he go?! You had to watch your back, your sides, below, everywhere. If the fight was still on, then Discord could make any kind of entrance he wants. He could dive in like a meteor, he could drop in Godzilla style, he could come through the ground, he could even… float down on an umbrella dressed like a British nanny, ok then.

“Deary me, what a frightful wind that was.” Discord said in a polite tone as he gently landed beside you as he greeted you with a warm smile. “Anon, how are you today? Not getting into TOO much trouble I hope.”

You just shake your head slowly at Discord, the shame of it all. “Really, Discord? What’s next, a spoonful of sugar? We’re supposed to be fighting here, y’know?”

“Oh, I know, but I just had to take a moment to properly congratulate you first.” Discord said as he gently tossed the umbrella away and began to clap. “You actually caught me off guard with that baton, bravo.”

Wut? “You’re congratulating me? Yeah, ok…” You jump into a fighting stance, prepared for any attack Discord might be planning. “You should already know I’m not falling for your tricks.”

“No tricks, Anon.” Discord said as he walked past you, arms behind his back. “That would be the first time anypony has managed to properly counter my chaos with some of their own. Makes me proud, Anon.” Discord then looks back at you with a cool grin. “You know that, right?”

“What do you mean? I’ve countered you before.” You remain at the ready. He was obviously getting ready to pull some kind of bullshit.

Discord waggles a talon at you as he turns around. “Not like that. Anon, haven’t you realized it yet? Or did you truly think you could actually beat me with not only chaos magic, but MY chaos magic.”

What does he mean by that? You’ve managed to hold him off so far. And if what he said about you countering him is true, then you must have some upper hand against him right now if he has to rely on such a simple trick of trying to catch you off guard through conversation. “What are you getting at?”

“Anon, what do you think I’m getting at? Aside from a minor slip, this happens to be my pocket dimension, my magic, my reality. I could have beaten you at anytime. I could have pulled this entire arena away like a rug, transformed you into something squishy and weak, or I could have even disabled your horn. But that wouldn’t be fun, and that wouldn’t teach you the lesson I’m trying to teach you now.” Discord said, his tone becoming more serious with every word.

Your eyes widen. Holy shit, he could have done all those things, things you didn’t even think of doing since you just wanted to overwhelm him with power. But what did he mean by teaching you? Did it have to do with him congratulating you? Wait, was he training you? Did it have to do with this fight? Wait, that’s why he pulled the whole teaching thing, wasn’t it?! This wasn’t a class just for your classmates, this was for you too! I-if that’s the case, then… “So, you’ve been letting me think I had a chance the whole time just to teach me something about chaos? Discord, why? I already know a lot about chaos magic, so what is this all about?”

Discord scoffed as he began to scratch at his forehead, annoyed. “Everything, Anon! It’s the very reason I gave you that upgrade in the first place. All that power and you still nearly get yourself destroyed!” Discord was becoming angry, emotional, as he stomped up to you, pointing at you with his talon. “I can forgive the chimera, that was Celestia’s fault! But the Storm King?! You could have easily destroyed him or sealed him right upon meeting him with one charge! And yet you went with what Twilight told you to do! Twilight, who doesn’t even use chaos magic! And don’t tell me he could see the flow of magic around him, that doesn’t matter either. You have the power to shift reality if need be with one singular charge and you not only nearly got yourself destroyed, but Fluttershy as well! The limits I put on your horn was for you to try to be more creative with your abilities with the few charges you have, and even then, you needed a push with the manipulation of your own sanity so you wouldn’t be beat by the likes of some silly dragon or the ‘Storm Ravager’. I’ve given you so much, and yet you squander it every time. Well, Anon, even my patience can be tested. It may be considered a vice to some, but you and Fluttershy are like family to me. I can’t lose either of you, is that clear? Do you understand now why you mastering your power is crucial?”

Oh god, it was like actually being scolded by your father. You didn’t even realize he was really taking things that hard, that he was still thinking about what could have happened back then. He didn’t do it to be an ass or to be intrusive. He really meant it, he did it all so you wouldn’t get hurt. You barely even knew what to say to him. “D-Discord, I… Look, I didn’t know it was… That bad. Did I… Did I really worry you that much? I-I mean, I… No, I didn’t, Tempest did. And I guess I never really bothered to utilize my magic in, like, a way that could decimate completely. Discord, I’m sorry.”

“Oh, I know you are. But you’re wrong about decimating your foe as well. You’re supposed to toy with your meal before you utterly crush their hopes and dreams.” Discord said as he closed his talon tight like a fist. “But I digress. Anon, all I want, aside from the usual, is for you to be safe, to be responsible in your irresponsibility, and to, for the love of all things me, stop being such an entitled nincompoop! Do you ever see me acting that way?”

“E-er, I mean, sorta? Heh, we’re both entitled nincompoops, eh?” You look to Discord with a smile. He was probably right though, you were really losing yourself again. It wasn’t just about relaxing and trying to get your mind out of the trouble you’re in, but you also had to trust in your friends too, and also be a friend to them. It wasn’t just about you. A lesson you somehow keep forgetting.

“Speak for yourself.” Discord said as he pulled at his skirt like window blinds to roll it up, bringing himself to his normal self. “I’m still the best there ever was, and always will be. Now then, we still have a show to put on for your class, and I can see your little lovebird trying to figure out what we’re talking about. Remember, Anon, chaos can only truly counter chaos with more chaos. Do me proud, son.” Discord said as he entered a battle stance. “Alright, make some words or whatever, the fight is back on.” Discord said to the announcer, who was just staring silently.

“Ah, right, right, ahrm.” The clone looked to the crowd, and began to resume his commentary. “Fillies and gentlecolts, after a brief time out, the battle is on again! Anon and Discord are sure to really bring the heat on now! I’d suggest holding on to your seats, because things are about to get wild!“

“Alright, Discord, here I come!” You jump backwards and throw a giant water balloon at Discord.

Discord just stands there, takes the hit, and then raises an eyebrow at you. “Are you serious? A water balloon? What is that supposed to do?”

“This! HAHA!” You pull out an electric guitar out of nowhere and start to play a rad metal version of the MLP theme.

“Anon, when I said to put on a show, this isn’t what I had in mind.” Discord said as he stood there, still confused by your wild playing. Though the crowd seemed to be loving it, even Diamond was suddenly fawning over you.

Heh, was he really going to stand there?! Then he was right, you just had to be more creative with your magic, while also making sure to bring in a decisive blow. In other words, confusing him with your song before striking him down with a surprise attack! You call out the final lyric of “FRIEEEENNDDSSS” As a giant lightning bolt is fired off towards the soaking draconequus.

“You kids and your new fangled music. Let me show you how it’s done!” Discord, almost immediately, pulls out a trumpet and catches the bolt of lightning as he begins to play a terrifying cacophony of a trumpet solo.

Wait, shit! He was going to send the bolt back at you! You quickly turn yourself into rubber as the bolt is blasted back through the trumpet. With your body now being rubber, the lightning is quickly nullified.

“How shocking! You managed to negate my counter attack. But now it’s time we heat things up!” Discord said as he snapped his paws. In an instant, a ring of fire appears around you and begins to quickly enclose upon you.

Ah! But you were ready for this one! Discord’s pun pretty much alluded to some sort of fire attack. “Sorry, Discord, but you need to chill out with those puns. Makes you too obvious” You immediately jump back, removing your rubbery skin as an ice clone is created of you. You then quickly buck the ice clone through the ring of fire and towards Discord.

“Oh, an ice sculpture, how quaint. But I’m going to give it a smashing review that-” Discord conjures a baseball bat to slam the ice sculpture back into you. But the moment the bat makes contact, it and Discord himself are instantly frozen in ice. The ring of fire then dissipates.

“Holy hell, it actually worked! Hah! Thank you Mortal Kombat.” You said to yourself as you dance trotted over to Discord, the crowd cheering as you did so.

“Oh no! Somehow, Anon has turned Discord into a block of ice! How the tables have turned! It looks like Anon is about to FINISH HIM now!” The announcer called out.

“Oooh, a fatality, always wanted to do one of-” But as you talked to yourself, suddenly the text saying ‘here comes a new challenger’ appeared above you. “What, huh? New challenger? What is that suppOOH GOD! NO! AGH!” Suddenly, a monstrous four armed Discord grabs you and starts beating the living shit out of you with two other fists before slamming you to the ground, jumping up, and then coming down on you before hopping off and posing to the crowd.

“Pain… S-so much, pain.” You barely roll over on your back and look at the celebrating Discord. H-holy shit, where, how?! R-right, he can b-bend reality… Ngh. Dammit, you should have realized he knew what was going on after his clone made such an obvious quote. You missed the tell.

“Oh no! Anon is down!” Scootaloo cried out as she looked to Diamond. “And he got pounded real good too! How is he supposed to get up from that?!”

“I-I don’t know. D-daddy Discord just hit him really hard, that's all. It's nothing! Anon! ANON! You have to get up! You can’t let him beat you now! I know you can do it!” Diamond called to you, hoping you could hear her.

You could feel it though, Discord did a number on you, you could swear a few bones in your body were broken. Even though you could hear Diamond, you really couldn’t move to make some sort of counter attack. Y-you should have expected Discord was going to come hard after seeing that text. What were you supposed to do? How were you going to fight back? The only way you could even think of beating that was to… Oh wait.

“D-Discord, y-you haven’t beaten me yet.” You say as you slowly try to stand up, coughing up a few teeth as you do so.

“Hm?” Discord stops his posing towards the gasping crowd as he looked to you with a smirk. “Oh? Well, I think I know I’ve beaten you. You should have heeded my words, Anon. You seem a little too broken now to do anything.”

“N-not yet… I still got… This.” You use your magic to summon a few bits. And what do you do with them? You eat them, of course.

“Did you just…? Anon, I know I wanted you to be chaotic, but that’s just dumb. What is that even supposed to…” Discord then looks up and sees the same text you saw before. “Hm? Isn’t that the gag I justOH GOODNESS GRACIOUS!”

Suddenly out of nowhere, you shoulder charge right into Discord, hit him with flaming green skull, shoulder charge him again, and then combo into three warhammer hits before slamming it right on top of him, turning him to mush in the ground. You just appeared out of nowhere, wearing a skull mask. Ha! All you needed was an extra credit to get back in the game! “You are pathetic!”

“W-well, I certainly didn’t see that coming.” Discord said weakly and near broken, splishy splashing as the little puddle he was. “I-I suppose this is what it feels like to be tenderized.”

“Liquefied is more like it! Geez, are you alright? I didn’t mean to crush you that bad.” Like seriously, he didn’t see that coming at all. “You really should leave the pop culture references to me though, I handle them better.”

“It seems so… H-however…” The puddle of Discord does not hesitate for even a moment as he begins to quickly envelope your hammer. Before you can even react, Discord, now the hammer itself, swings himself right into your side, sending you towards the edge of the arena. “I just can’t help but take a whack at it sometimes! HAHA!”

Oh god, you weren’t expecting that either. You just slammed right onto the ground and nearly rolled right off the arena. Shit! You had to get up! You quickly go to get up on your hooves when you noticed Discord, in his normal form, was already standing right in front of you, looking down at you with a dark smirk. “Ngh, s-shit…”

“Better, Anon, better, you managed to counter me twice. But part of your training requires you to think speedily, as an opponent such as myself is quick to recover. I congratulate you, Anon, I think you’re getting the hang of things, but you just can’t seem to learn to always expect that your opponent ALWAYS needs a little more chaos in their lives. Now, I’m going to give you one last chance. Throw something at me, throw it, and I’ll undoubtedly counter it, and then… Well, either you do what I expect you to do, or you actually manage to throw it back at me. Move quickly, Anon, I’m not going to give you too much time to think of something.”

“Oh no! Anon is on his last legs! Unless he thinks of something quick, Discord will have the victory!” The announcer yells out.

“Anon! Do something! Throw him off the ring! You’re so close! You can win! YOU CAN WIN!” Diamond yells out to you from the other side of the arena.

Ring him out? How in the fuck were you going to do that without him countering you?! He was expecting it, he was expecting you to throw something out at him. What could you do to win?! He had enough knowledge to counter even your pop culture spells! There has to be something, something around, something you could use. If not to beat him, but at least ring him… Out? Wait, his words, his words from before. He said he could change reality around him and even pull the ring out from under you. He also said your magic was his magic. So… “Well, Discord, I guess you were right. I guess beating you wasn’t an option.”

“Don’t feel too bad about it, Anon. I told you you had no real chance. I just want you to use this to better yourself. Also, your class really needs to learn to cheer for the winners. I just have no idea what to do to get them to cheer for me.” Discord said as he looked back at the crowd, who was booing at him for the most part.

“Yeah well, I am the hero colt to them, so, y’know. Discord, I really do see what you mean now, and I’m sorry about how I’ve acted lately, getting crazy with Chrysalis and all that jazz, getting mad at you at the drop of a hat, it just isn’t right. Do you forgive me?” You ask him.

“I do” Discord said as he began to look at a bag of clubs. “Hm, now should I use the nine iron? Or the putter?”

“Discord, c’mon, I’m serious. I really mean what I said. Discord, there was even something I wanted to tell you, if you don’t mind me saying it now.” C’mon, c’mon…

Discord was eyeing the length of a 3 wood. “Ohh, this could do nicely. Hm? Oh, yes yes, say whatever you like.”

“Well, Discord…” You slowly began to squirm towards the edge of the arena, and gently placed your hoof right at the corner. “The thing I wanted to say was...PSYCHE!” Using a mixture of your hoof and your magic, you press down on the edge of the arena so hard that you send it directly into the ground in a way that is more like phasing through it, causing both you and Discord to fall right onto the dirt. And that meant…

“Holy Toledo! Anon just pulled a power move! But what a shame of a power move that was as both our fighters are disqualified! That’s right, folks, the fight is over without a winner due to the lack of anything to even stand on! A shame, but amazing play nonetheless! Let’s hear it for our two fighters, yeeeeeeeeahherrmmm…” The announcer tosses his microphone away as he just walks off. “No seriously, how anti-climatic. What even was that?”

The crowd didn’t know how to react, neither did Scootaloo and Diamond.

Discord just laid there, on his face, mortified about what just happened. “How? How did I not see that coming?”

“I took advantage of the one thing you weren’t expecting, me willing to make the fight end in a tie.” You say as you lay on your back, chuckling.

“Ooooh, I really didn’t see that one coming. How detestable, how rotten, how underhooved…” Discord, at first sounding so defeated, then began to giggle. “Finally, a real good use of your magic. I’m proud of you, Anon. You did the right thing.”

“I did? Heh, thanks Discord. You did really good too, y’know? I’m glad you gave me this chance to actually fight you, even if you were just testing me. I promise, from now on, I’ll use my chaos magic better. And for sure, I promise not to give you such a hard time anymore. But you gotta lay off too sometimes, you can be a real ass.” You tell him.

“As if I’d agree to that. No, you do what you like. I’ll remove the upgrade from your horn, but you still remain with the two charges after today. Also, never mention this to anypony. Discord does not tie with anypony, not even you, Anon.” Discord said as he narrowed his eyes towards the sky. He really did not enjoy a tie, even if he was so proud of you.

“Deal.” Well, at least that’s done with. The upgrade was gone.

Discord, fuck man, you don’t need to repeat yourself on what he does for you, you know it. Just, this time, Anon, try not to fuck up. You’re not one of those guys who always have to stick with the status quo. Do it, just… Relax. Well, you were going to see Tempest after this, so relaxing shouldn’t be too hard. You wonder how she’s doing. Hm...

Whatever, the thing is, you have to really utilize this training, utilize Discord's teachings, and not be as much as an ass as you have been. And this time, you have to REALLY actually do that, no excuses.

“...And so class, with chaos, anything is possible, but requires a vast understanding of it to use properly. The spar between Anon and I was but a taste of not only proper use of chaos magic, but how different it can work depending on its user. Indeed, when used properly, one can say chaos takes on the forms of the mind of its caster, which is why Anon’s magic is mostly ‘pop referency’ while mine takes on a more sophisticated manifestation. Either way, as you saw, both versions can make for an interesting battle of wits. Ahrm.” Discord cleared his throat a little nervously as he said his next line of words. “However, given it was just a demonstration, it ending in a tie was only due to the fact that it was, as I said, a demonstration. Is that not correct, son?” Discord looked to you, hoping for you to play along.

You were sitting on your seat, as everything had been set to normal at this point. You nod, smile, and wave to the class. “Yeah, Dad is really good when he’s allowed to do whatever he wants. But, y’know, don’t count me out either. I did manage to keep things even most of the fight.”

“You did, that I will admit. Again, we all know if anypony actually tried to square off against me, they’d end up walking backwards while mooing like a dog, this includes Princess Twilight as well. But when it comes to my son and his own skills in the art of chaos, I’d say you all might have had a chance to live a normal life if him and I actually fought on that fateful day, many moons ago. A very tiny chance, but a chance. A verrryyy slim chance indeed.” Discord said as the room grew dark, his grin becoming darker and darker until suddenly everything became normal again as Discord calmly adjusted his tie. “But that has nothing to do with the lesson. In fact, with the lesson over, it is time for questions! You there, cowering under your table, what did you learn from chaos?”

Discord was, of course, pointing at Silver Spoon, who had become frightened the moment the room became dark and Discord’s glare filled with malevolence. Even with that moment over, she dare not poke her head out. Not until Diamond looked back at her and poked her side, then began to whisper to her. “Psst, Silver Spoon, c’mon, how can you still be scared of Daddy Discord?”

“D-Diamond.” Silver Spoon said as she raised her head slightly, opening one eye to look at her as she cowered under her desk. “Did you even notice that, like, the entire room got dark while he looked at us like he wanted to eat us?”

“Yeah? And? He does that, like, every time. Now come on, don’t keep him waiting! He went through all that trouble to show us something totally awesome, so there had to be something you liked about the lesson.” Diamond, while being a little chastising, did want to see what her best friend had to say about the subject. Considering Silver herself had never been too accepting of Discord and his chaotic shenanigans, surely now, after such a cool demonstration, she’d have something positive to say.

“W-well…” Silver Spoon slowly popped her head above her desk, took a breath, and looked to Discord to give him an answer. “I did think it was pretty cool that it looked like you could basically do anything you wanted. I-I think if I could do chaos magic like that, that I would have tried blowing you away with like, the most fabulous dress you’ve ever seen.”

Discord only narrowed his eyes as he looked to Silver in disgust. “I hope you realized that you gave me a heart attack just by saying that. And a stroke, see?” Discord said as he pointed to a kayak literally traveling through one ear and out the other as little Discord clones were stroking within it. “A fabulous dress is NOT chaotic in the slightest, and now you will suffer the consequences!” Discord said as his arms began to turn all firey and red.

Silver eeped and hid under her desk again, pointing at Discord as she shrieked. “See! See! I told you! He’s a monster!”

Discord suddenly stopped as he pointed to himself, feeling insulted. “Me?! A monster?! How can I be the monster when you’re the one who insulted the very basis of chaos itself! That big an example and all you can think of was making a dress? That’s, like, Rarity’s thing. And even then, I don’t even think she’d have given me that as an answer. I am right about that, aren’t I?” Discord said as he actually looked at Sweetie Belle for an answer.

Sweetie Belle looked confused for a moment as she looked left and right. She then realized Discord was, in fact, asking for her acknowledgement on the subject. “Er, she probably would. But if it had to be chaotically themed, erm, then I think she’d at least force it on a bunch of stallions instead.”

“Oh, now that’s just classic. Stallions always seem to lose their minds when they are in the clothes of the opposite gender. Sweetie Belle, you can have an ‘A’ for improving on her idea. Puh, just a dress, how creatively bankrupt. Anyway, you there, with the camera, I assume you learned quite a bit about chaos considering how many times you snapped that camera of yours.” Discord, was of course, talking to Featherweight.

“Oh yeah, I learned a lot actually! It seems like, to me anyway, that chaos is themed to the personality of the user, for sure! Like, if I could master it, I think I’d be able to capture every second of anypony’s life on camera, no matter where they are or what they are doing. When it comes to the school paper, I’d be able to make it the greatest source of news in Equestria, as nothing would be be able to escape the flash of my awesome camera, nopony would be able to hide an- Er…” Featherweight realized he was starting to sound a little dark there, getting a bit into what he already likes to do as a hobby. “A-ahrm, erm, and I did actually get some cool photos of you and Anon. See? Here’s one of Anon playing that sweet gui-” But he is interrupted as Diamond quickly swipes the photo from him.

“This is mine now!” Diamond said as she became fixated on the photo “He looks so totally dreamy here…” She says with a whisper, just fawning over you as if you were some sort of rock star.

“Oh, erm, well… I also got this cool snapshot of Anon getting super smashed by your-Eep!” Featherweight is taken aback as Discord literally snaps his paw over like an elastic band to snatch the picture of him beating you up from Featherweight’s hoof.

“I’ll be keeping this… For reasons. This is real good too, you can literally see the fear in Anon’s eyes right before my next fist smashes into his face. Such a perfect snapshot, you get an ‘A’ as well!” Discord said as he admired himself in the photo.

“Oh, erm, uh? Ok!” Featherweight said, seeming pleased with his grading. But then he had to ask something. “Can I still use some of these other shots for tomorrow’s paper? I want everypony to know about how awesome this lesson was!”

“It was, wasn’t it? Yes, that’ll probably be fine as long as you remember to post your best shots and make sure anything written about me highlights my finer skills in magic and technique. And try to make the end sound more dramatic than what actually happened. If your readers are going to be amazed by the story then you have to make sure the end simply floors them.” Discord explained as he made an elegant pose, looking to Featherweight with a gentle yet extravagant smile. “And take a picture of me right now to use on your front page. I think it’ll help your readers understand how snazzy I actually am.”

“Yes sir, Mr. Discord, sir.” Featherweight said with a salute. Quickly snapping a photo of him to use for later.

“Oh, Mr. Discord, I learned something too. May I say it?” Pip said as he eagerly raised his hoof, trying to gain Discord’s attention.

“But of course, I noticed you do seem to have a curious eye for chaos. Tell me, what amazing thing did you learn?” Discord said as he looked to Pip with a hopeful grin, awaiting even more praise for his handiwork.

“Well, actually, it’s more that I wanted to ask if the princesses dislike your magic. Princess Twilight doesn’t seem to like it very much, and that doesn’t seem too right to me. I’d like to think that your powers make everypony ever so happy. At least, erm, that’s what I think you try to do, since Anon does such a tip top job being a hero!” Pip looked back at Discord, near adorably, just wanting to hear a positive and uplifting answer from him.

“Ah, a good question with a simple answer. Aside from Princess Twilight, the other princesses seem to vary from instance to instance on the amount they enjoy or dislike my magic. Princess Twilight? Well, she’s rather prudish. Actually, she’s always prudish. Let me tell you all something, and Anon can attest to this, Princess Twilight is a decent princess and such, good at what she does for the most part, but she always has a habit of blowing everything out of proportion. In fact, you should have seen how she reacted when I first adopted Anon.” Discord put a paw to his chest, and began to sniffle and wipe his eyes. “She was so sure that I only adopted him for some grand scheme. In fact, at one point, she didn’t even believe Anon actually existed. Yes, I suppose some could say she had her reasons, but to act in such a manner simply because it involves me is… Well… Ngh…” Discord took out a handkerchief and blew his nose. “I’m sorry, students, it simply is too saddening a memory to recall here and now.”

While most of the class instantly felt sorry for Discord, it was of course the CMC, namely Applebloom, who had something to say about that. “Ain’t the reason Princess Twilight don’t like your magic too much is because you’re mean to her when you use it?”

“What?! How preposterous! Yes, you can say that perhaps it was in the few times I was evil that I wanted to be 'mean' to her. But as a reformed spirit of chaos, well, that’s just laughable. Isn’t it laughable, Anon?” Discord looks to you, hoping you’d jump to his side.

“I mean… Erm, yeah.” He wasn’t entirely wrong, Twilight was a prude. Er, well, yeah. No matter what, if she had just kept her shit together, then the whole deal thing with Chrysalis wouldn’t even be a thing. “She is always uptight. Nopony else seems to lose their mind like she does when something goes awry. And by awry, I mean even the tiniest thing bothers her. C’mon, Applebloom, you should know that. From the first time she knew about Zecora to using that ‘want it, need it’ spell to even more recently with the whole, er, well… I’m sure she’s freaked out about something recently in front of you. Point is, Dad isn’t wrong, and neither am I.”

“Ya know about when she… Wait, and the ‘Want it…” Applebloom had to shake her head for a moment to catch her thoughts. She knew you seemed to know an awful lot of random knowledge already about their lives, but it still blew her mind whenever you pulled something she was sure you knew nothing about. It was enough to muddle her mind enough to find it difficult to counter your points. “Er, well… Ah guess Princess Twilight is a little uptight. She sure seems to lose it a lot more these days.”

“Well, she is a princess now. And between that, keeping Equestria safe, and now a school to run? Yeah, I can see her being uptight. But that doesn’t change the fact that Discord still does things without thinking of others. Remember when he went to the Gala? And I heard from Rarity that he made this really crude statue of Twilight and just… Well, ahrm.” Indeed, she was speaking about when he placed that statue for Twilight to find for his ‘movie’. She was, of course, also unwilling to repeat what she had heard about it in full, given its nature. “Anyway, the point is, even if Twilight is uptight, Discord can still be pretty mean.”

“Hogwash, I simply make things more interesting, that’s all. That ‘A’ is now a ‘C’ by the way. I will not accept that kind of sass in my classroom.” Discord said as he crossed his arms, looking away as he scoffed.

“Hey! That’s not fair at… Wait, your classroom? This is Miss Cheerilee’s classroom. And where is she, anyway? Are you sure she’s ok? You didn’t do anything more to her while you were teaching us chaos, were you?” Sweetie Belle accused.

“Hmph, how should I know? I’ve been too busy being the best teacher this class has ever known. Remember, she did have a boring math lesson planned for today. In fact, we do have a little time left, so how would you all like to learn about REAL math, stuck on an island of puzzles and numbers in which only solving the arithmetic type riddles will be the key to your escape? Daunting yes, but those who succeed get a free cake! Now that is tempting, don’t you think?” Discord looked to the rest of the class, hoping for all of them to jump at the chance to try his game.

“Err, that sounds too hard.” Snails said, slowly slinking his head onto his desk. “My head already hurts from thinking about it.”

“Yeah, uh, it doesn’t sound very cool either. It still sounds like math stuff.” Rumble said.

“That’s a no way from me too. I’m not going to risk my life on something like that, math is already hard, I don’t need to worry about watching out for monsters while I’m at it.” Scootaloo added.

“What?! Anon, surely you think that’s a good idea, right? The caaaake is chocooollaaateee” Discord said in a sing song way, trying to entice you.

“Er, I’m kinda with them, Dad. The fight thing was cool, but er, I’d just rather not get stuck at some puzzle while watching out for my life. Just doesn’t sound too good to me. But hey, the rest of the lesson was awesome, real top notch stuff! But Sweetie Belle is probably on to something, maybe you should call it a day and bring Miss Cheerilee back since school is nearly over anyway.” You suggested. His newest lesson sounded terrible, and you’d rather most of the class retain their higher opinion of him before he himself screws that up.

“Oh, alright, alright. Well, class, it was fun. In fact, it was so fun that if any of you, and I do mean ANY of you, feel that you need my services again, please, do not hesitate to ask. I do trust that you all at least had fun with what lesson I did teach today, right?” Discord asked, actually hoping for some validation in his efforts. In a near instant, it was given to him, as you and the rest of the class, with varying amounts of enthusiasm, cheered him on. Discord, for a moment, had a warm smile on his face before turning around to hide his tears. “W-well, then we’ll definitely need another day to do this again. In anycase… Oh wait, one last thing.” Discord turns back around, looking directly at you with a gentle smile. “Anon, when I do come back for another session, would you mind helping me out as my assistant again?”

You nod, hell yeah you would, that was actually pretty fun. “Anytime, Dad.”

“Aha! Good to hear. Well then, adios, students, the ever random direction of chaos calls to me. Please remember what you learned here today, as you never know when you’ll need it.” Discord said before snapping his talons. In an instant, he disappears as Cheerilee reappears. She was cuddling onto Snips, nuzzling without notice of what was going on around her.

“Oh, Seashore Sands, You have been so good to me today. But as much as I’d love to run away with you, my duty is to my class and to my students. You’ve made me feel like a young mare again and there really is no way to repay you. I-I just… I just don’t…” Cheerilee leaned in, and gave Snips a rather passionate kiss on the cheek, making him beet red.

“M-Miss Cheerilee?” Snips said with a nervous gulp.

“Y-yes, Seashore? Wait, why do you suddenly sound like one of my…” Cheerilee opened her eyes, to see that she had just given a lovely kiss to one of her students, and realizing she was in her classroom “Gyah! Snips!? How did you get here?! How did my room get here?! Where, what, when?! I-I was in his room and then…” Cheerilee brought her hooves to her mouth as she looked onto Snips, horrified. “Was I sleepwalking the whole time?! Oh my gosh! Then those belly rubs and nibbles on the ears… Was by a student?! What did I?! When?! What will everypony say?! G-Guh, Ngh, Ahhh-” And with that Cheerilee falls backwards, falling unconscious due to being overwhelmed by her terrible thoughts.

Snips just brought a hoof to his cheek and looked to Snails for counsel. “Snails, my first kiss! Do you think this is true love?”

Snails shook his head. “I don’t think so, wouldn’t that just mean you’d have even more homework to do? Teachers give their coltfriends more homework, right?”

“Oh gosh! You’re right!” Snips said as he quickly tried to wipe off his cheek “Miss Cheerilee already gets on me for not doing my homework, I don’t want her making me sleep on a couch because of it too! I like my bed!”

The whole class couldn’t help but burst into laughter after that. And while you found it funny as well, and even with Diamond right there, you couldn’t help but feel a tad jealous about Snips getting that kiss. Cheerilee was pretty hot, and whatever was even going on during her little vacation sounded pretty sexy already. Some stallions just get all the luck.

With school over, it was time to prepare to visit Tempest. Well, almost, you had wanted to take Diamond aside to talk to her about the current Chrysalis situation, let her know what's up, but she was being rather insistent on the fact that she had to have some girl time with Silver Spoon, but that she would ‘totally’ see you later so you could talk… Among other things. You didn’t even really get a chance to tell her about the subject of the discussion. Then again, saving it for AFTER your visit might not be such a bad idea either.

Then there was Cozy Glow. You just had this itch, you wanted to at least go and check how she was doing at this moment. Or maybe it was something else, maybe you just wanted to observe how she interacts with others. Or maybe just see how others interact with her. Something just felt off, and yet you couldn’t put your hoof on it. Maybe you were just looking too deep into it. She’s a little filly, it could just be anxiety issues.

“Alright, Anon, we gotta talk.” You hear from your front. You look forward and realized you were kind of just standing a few yards from the school, and even more, the CMC have surrounded you. Applebloom herself was staring right at you, staring at you hard, as if she wanted something. “There’s something not right about you, and I want to know what that is.”

The hell? “Guh?! Applebloom? Girls? What’s going on? What is this about?”

“We want to know how you always seem to know so much about everypony. Like, whenever anypony says anything about anything, you always seem to have some sort of example or excuse to counter their point. It’s super suspicious.” Sweetie Belle said as she looked at you from your right side, suspiciously.

“Hate to say it, Anon, but they’re right. It is reaaaalllyy weird you seem to know all these random tidbits about us all the time. And the really weird thing about it, and we started to notice this, is that it’s pretty much stuff from right after Twilight even showed up in Ponyville.” Scootaloo said from your left side, looking a little more concerned than inquisitive.

“Yep, allll the way up until ya actually showed up, and then suddenly you don’t know much of nothen unless you were there or we pretty much tell ya. Seems really suspicious to me.” Applebloom said as she looked you directly in the eye, bringing her face close to yours.

What?! Now they notice?! Wait, they fucking noticed?! Ok ok, relax, Anon, you can counter this. You take a step back, take a breath, and look to Applebloom with confidence. “Look, as I am sure I mentioned before, I asked Dad about a lot of the finer points and details, and asked around for the rest. Back then, ya know, I just wanted to make sure I could make friends with everypony.”

“C’mon, Anon, we know you’re not even from this dimension, so you can’t fool us like you do everypony else. I doubt your dad knows all those details about us, and I can’t even think of a situation where anypony would tell you about all that other stuff just out of the blue. Applebloom is right, it is super suspicious, and as your friends, we think you should tell us how you REALLY know all that stuff.” Sweetie Belle said as the other two nodded.

‘As your friends’?! Where does she get off telling you that?! Aside from Scoots, you really didn’t owe Applebloom and especially Sweetie Belle anything. You just roll your eyes and grumble. “Are you all serious? How else would I know about that stuff then? I don’t have a crystal ball that tells me everything about a pony’s life. If I did, then don’t you think I’d have been able to reform Chrysalis already? Or heck, instantly crush any threat that showed up in Ponyville before it even happens? Let me ask you all this. How else would I know about all that?”

“Well, that ain’t for us to answer, Anon. But ah know how to get it out of ya.” Applebloom said as she reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a vial with a yellow liquid in it. “Been holdin’ on to this for about a month now, made it myself.”

“Woah, woah, hey! Applebloom, didn’t you say that truth potion lasts for a whole week? I thought we were going to save that for anypony who tries to trick us or something. I didn’t know you were gonna use it on Anon!” Scootaloo said, startled by Applebloom’s power move.

“Seems like a good idea to me. Anon knows all this stuff about everything, but we still don’t really know too much about him. I say we use the potion.” Sweetie Belle says, standing to Applebloom’s side. “It’s only fair.”

What in the fuck?! All this because you knew certain bits from season 2?! Ok, they were taking things way too seriously now. A truth potion that lasts a week?! Nuts to that! Lying is fucking important, and you aren’t dealing with that shit. “Aren’t I supposed to be a friend or something? What kind of friend makes another drink some weird potion?”

Scootaloo flinched at that one, and then looked to her two friends. “He’s got a good point. It doesn’t seem right to force him to drink that stuff. C’mon, girls, Anon is right, how else would he know all that stuff? It’s not like his dimension had an Equestria that played out exactly like ours does. I mean, if it did, then why would Discord even bother bringing him here if he was that other Discord's kid?”

“But, that just sounds… Er…” Applebloom slowly lowered the potion, staring at it. “Erm, ah guess that would be a pretty bad thing to do, even if tellin’ the truth is somethin’ you’re supposed to do. Ah just, ah guess the reason ah even brewed this thing was because ah was savin’ it for a moment like this, and that’s the truth.” Applebloom’s ears folded as she looked down in shame. “Ahm sorry, Anon. Ah just thought there was somethin’ else to ya that you just weren’t tellin us, and ah really wanted to know what that was, especially with you knowin’ all that stuff about us. You always seem to know a lot of stuff, but ya never really explain it to us.”

“But it still doesn’t make any sense though. There is no possible way he could know through… Ah nuts, fine, I know it’s wrong to use the potion, even if I also didn't really know why Applebloom had it. But, Anon, is that really how you know all that stuff? How does Discord know if he wasn’t even there?” Sweetie asked, still curious to the real ‘truth’ to the matter. “Why would anypony just tell you all that random stuff?”

Crisis averted, thank god for Scootaloo having your back. But christ, a truth potion? You almost forgot Applebloom had some alchemical skill. Would have been a fucking disaster if they somehow forced you to drink that stuff. As for the girls, you had to think as you suddenly found yourself at an advantageous position. You could just tell them to fuck off, but that would upset Scootaloo. Buuuuuut, if Cozy believes you’re a professor, and you believe you’re as good as Twilight, then you might as well put your teaching skills to the test. It’s a bit risky, but goddamn, you could ‘gary stu’ through this one for sure and show them how wrong they really were to distrust you… Even if they were right. “Because I’m more social than you realize. Geez, Sweetie Belle, did you forget all the friends I have? A lot of ponies tell me a lot of things? You hurt me, you really do. Tch, you know what? I think you all should see friendship through my eyes. I am going to go visit my friend, Tempest Shadow. You all wanna come with? We’re traveling first class teleportation.”

“I want to come! She seemed pretty cool during the festival, but she also looked pretty nervous. I’d really want a chance to talk to her. Does she still use that cool airship?” Scootaloo asked, already excited to take up the offer.

“W-well…” Applebloom, still feeling rather ashamed, looked at you with such a sorry expression, feeling terrible about what she had planned to do. “Erm, ah don’t mind, Anon. Ah mean, well… You ain’t mad at me, right?”

Yes “No, but I really think you should come if you want to see some truth to what I say. I get around, Applebloom. I know stuff. But you don’t know anything about my more private life unless it literally plops right in front of you. I just want you to see some of it, maybe it’ll help you understand me better.”

“I dunno. What does us even going have to do with you knowing all that stuff?” Sweetie Belle asked, still skeptical.

“Because you guys usually act as if I’m lying or up to something I shouldn’t. I want to show you that some of the stuff I do is just out of scope, but isn’t anything too unusual most of the time. The most you guys got me on was Chrysalis. And hey, now you guys got Scrappy as a friend. I figured having you guys meet Tempest will just show that some of the stuff I do isn’t all secretive and shadowy, that it’s just something you guys just wouldn’t know about because you don’t know the going ons of every aspect of my life. I mean, I’ve been told a few times that was the case with me, so now, that is the case with you. Besides, again, going back to what started all this. How else would I know what I know? You guys actually act is if I somehow was watching you guys and knew exactly what to do before Dad even brought me here. And I gotta say, don’t you think that sounds really far fetched?” stomp it in, Anon, stomp it in. Really put the salt on the wound. Because, guess what, you just told them the truth, and they’ll never be able to call you on it. Let’s see Sweetie counter that one!

And she couldn’t, she just sort of sat there, silent, until finally Applebloom spoke up again. “Anon is right, maybe we were just overthinkin’ it. Scootaloo, yer the closest to Anon out of all of us, you ever noticed anything wrong?”

Scootaloo shook her head and shrugged. “Nope, other than the regular chaos stuff. C’mon girls, relax! Anon isn’t mad, so you two should really just drop all that suspicious stuff. If anything crazy was going on, Anon would tell us, right Anon?”

You nod. “Yep.”

“Then what’s with the shackles?” Sweetie Belle pointed at them, still skeptical, if finally starting to relent. “I thought you just summoned them up for that experiment. Do you still need them?”

GYAH! SHIT! MAYDAY! MAYDAY! “O-oh, erm…” Ok, Anon, think. You were going to tell Diamond, and obviously Scrappy will know and he WILL tell Applebloom and Sweetie Belle if Scootaloo doesn't. Ugh, you can’t just tell them about it now either, it would spoil the trip. “Ok, you got me on that one. They are super important. And it kind of has to do with Scrappy and-”

“Ah knew it! Then it has to do with why mah sister needed him. This really is ab-” As Applebloom was about to blurt it out, you rush over to her and cram her mouth shut. Fuck, you forgot about the detail that she already had overheard something.

“Yes! Fine, yes! Scootaloo was going to tell you both, she already knew, ok? Let’s not go yelling that out loud, please? Ok, and-” But then Sweetie Belle looked to Scootaloo in disbelief.

“You knew?! And you didn’t tell us?!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Gyah! Look, I found out just before class started! I was going to let you both know back at the clubhouse! B-but see? This is what Anon was talking about! He didn’t even try to hide it from us, he just needed to hide it from the rest of the class because of how super serious this all is. We all know how important this is to Anon, he and Princess Celestia did pretty much end up reforming every other changeling, just like we helped reform Scrappy. So we have to be there to help Anon reform Chrysalis.” Scootaloo, what a bro-er, sis! Once again jumping to your defense.

“But what about Scrappy?! What if Chrysalis tries to hurt him! Why does Twilight even need him?” Applebloom demanded an answer.

Christ, this was not the fucking time to talk about this! You began to frantically whisper. “Ok, look, she can’t hurt anypony, ok?! The shackles? They are part of a deal! She can’t hurt anypony at all, or else…” You suddenly locked up for a moment, you felt your heart wrench at the very thought of Chrysalis losing her life. “Look, it’s simple. Chrysalis will be gone forever if she hurts him or anypony else that isn’t Twilight. That’s what the shackles mean, it’s part of a chaotic contract. Twilight knows that too, and she is making sure to be able to stop Chrysalis so she’ll have to live up to her part of the deal and reform. Chrysalis can’t even win against Twilight, she’s too weak. It’s pretty much a guaranteed victory. It's all I have left to make this work. Please, girls, can we just…” Fuck, dammit, these girls are a real pain.

Applebloom gulps, feeling she may have pushed too hard, especially after hearing that much. “Anon, ahm really sorry, really! Ah just… No, there isn’t no excuse for what I had planned to do. You were bein’ honest, and ah just didn’t believe it. Well that ain’t happenin’ again. I’m behind ya all the way, ya hear?” And just like that, Applebloom was on your side.

“I-I’m sorry too. I didn’t realize how crazy the situation was. I-I always thought you were still just being high and mighty. But I guess I was the one being like that. Anon, I’m really really REALLY sorry. I don’t want to lose you as a friend. You’re really cool, you know?” Sweetie Belle said, her eyes watery as she gives you a pout. Ngh, don’t go for it, Anon, she is an asshole. SHE’S A CUTE ASSHOLE! DAMMMMIT!

You sigh, and give in. “I know, it’s ok, all water under the bridge. But let me just say this, you two really need to learn to trust me better. I dunno, I don’t think I’m willing to go through something like this again. But, it’s fine, I’m sure this is the last time. Anyway, my offer still stands. You three want to go? For real?”

Applebloom nodded, feeling reassured and happy that she was forgiven, even if she still felt bad about it. “Ah want to go. I always like makin’ new friends.”

“Yeah, me too! Thanks, Anon, really. You’re a really awesome pony. I guess I have to admit you really matured. Erm, so much that I think we’re the ones who still need a little more maturing to do.” Sweetie Belle said, feeling awkward and nervous, but willing to follow through with her apology.

“Awesome! Alright, Anon, I’m ready too! Let’s do this!” Scootaloo said, ready to go and happy the situation went so much better than she thought it was going to end up being.

“Alright.” You say as you plop on your horn. “Get ready, girls! And don’t blink.” And with that, you all were gone.

When you all reappeared, you could already feel the wind in your mane. It was a rather swift wind too, really fast, like a storm. The sea was under you, coming closer with every second that passed by despite its calming presence. And in the air, the screams of fillies filled all… Wait, why all the screaming? When you finally take notice, you could see that all four of you were falling downwards. Seems you were somewhat off with your aim.

“ANON! HELP! DO SOMETHING!” Sweetie Belle screams out towards you.

“AHHHH! SOMEPONY SAVE US!” Applebloom yelled as she waved her legs in a panic.

Scootaloo was twirling downward as she flapped her wings as hard as she could. She wished she could fly, she wished she could do something to help everyone.

Shit! Ok, ok, don’t panic! All you need to do is catch everyone in some sort of flying device! You slap on your horn and try to concentrate. Just concentrate! All you need is one thing to save everyone, just one thing!

In an instant, some sort of flying vehicle appears. It is a half sphere, open on the top, with a green propeller on the bottom keeping it airborne. The rim along the top is also green while the vehicle itself is pure white. On its ‘face’ was a ponish looking clown face, smiling forward. In essence, you created your own koopa clown car. Not bad. If it was a plane or jet then it either would have crashed anyway, or worse, blown up. And besides, despite its size, it was actually pretty roomy. One by one, you all fell in, and then each of you popped your head out to look around at the clear blue skies and sea below.

“Woah! That was close. What even happened? Why are we over water?” Sweetie Belle said as she took a breath and looked downwards.

“Dunno, A’hm just glad we ain’t falling anymore. Anon, what happened?” Applebloom asked as she leaned back, relieved she was alive.

“Ugh, I just missed my target, that’s all. I wasn’t exactly sure where Tempest was, and I didn’t think about the fact that she was probably on her airship.” You said as you peeked your head out, taking in the sea air before taking a calm breath. “Good thing my horn has unlimited charges today, eh? Woo, that was too close.”

“I’ll say. But what is this thing anyway? And why does it have a creepy face?” Scootaloo said as she leaned over the front side some to look down on the clown car. “Why didn’t you just summon an airship we could use?”

Ugh, even in a near death scenario, someone has to criticize your choices on conjured objects. “It was all I could think of for us all to safely land on. Give me a break, anything else and we might still be falling or it would have crashed. This thing is easy to control and extremely stable.”

“Ok… But that doesn’t explain the creepy clown face.” Scootaloo said, getting more weirded out as she stared at it. She moved her head back as she peeked at it, nervous, she could swear it was blinking.

You roll your eyes and lean back, irritated with her question. “Because, y’know, that’s how it is. Again, chaos, just had a lesson on it. Can we just focus on finding Tempest, please?” No taste, absolutely no taste. Sure it was kind of weird, but it was fast and still cool. Maybe? Bah, you could make it work just as good as any giant turtle dragon.

“Hey!” Applebloom says to catch everyone’s attention. “Check this out. There’s a bunch of lil’ Anons in here. They’re kind of cute.” Applebloom said as she held up one of the little clockwork toys of you. “Look, you can even wind em up!”