https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXSf8doNvXY

Fear stared longingly at Dim, with wide, pleading eyes and a gentle frown. The colt didn't know where to begin, what to say, or anything. All he knew was that he had to try and make things right. But how can you possibly make right a murder? It didn't really matter either way, Fear knew he had to try, he had to take a stab in the dar- no, wait, that's a bad metaphor. He had to... root around in the dark for a light switch. Yes, that was much better. He needed to scavenge the pieces leftover and put them together into something new. With hammering heart in the dreamscape, Fear put a hoof to his chest and cleared his throat. “So, uh, Miss Nova. I'm... sorry.”

Dim Nova was unimpressed, and her heart ached beyond belief. Fear could tell, he could feel it radiating from her like staring at a broken vase. There was nothing that could put it back together. “You say sorry, but I don't really feel it.” She had her forelegs crossed over her chest, sitting on her haunches.

The colt had a lot of choices on how to react to that. Of course I feel it, he thought, I've never stopped feeling it, never stopped regretting it. But it wasn't time to argue with her, he knew that. Nyx had taught him to navigate conversations like this. “What I mean is... is there any way I can make it up to you?”

Dim lifted an eyebrow, looking as if she was about to snap and beat Fear to a pulp. “You really think anything can possibly make up for what you took from me?” Dim glanced around. “Luna! Princess Luna! I want to go now!” She called.

“Look. Uhh... miss Nova. I...”

“No! You look! You stupid, horrible little colt!” Dim Nova was practically screaming at him, standing on all fours and pointing a hoof at him, nearly jabbing it in his chest. Fear didn't react, just staring down at it. “You took something precious from me! Something I can never get back! There is no replacing what I've lost! What you've taken from me! Nothing could ever take back your choices and I for one don't see the pain I feel on your face! I want to make you suffer! I want you to lose everything!”

Fear's hooves curled under him as he pursed his lips, ears twitching. His frown deepened and tears formed in his eyes, but he held them back. This wasn't the time to cry. It was just manipulative. “I... feel the same way.”

“Liar! You're just saying that because... because you're trying to lull me into a false sense of security!”

Fear continued staring at the ground, eyes wide, a little speechless. She can see the cracks in her own argument. The colt's mouth closed and he looked up at her with a defiant, glassy gaze. “Do you really think that?” He saw the next words coming.

“Yes! That's all raiders like you ever think about, how you can best hurt the next pony you come across. All you care about is infecting everything with your disease! I bet you go around eating other ponies! Why is Princess Luna making me do this!? Why do I have to be here!?”

Fear had a lot of things he could say. He tapped a hoof on the ground, considering his options. “I figured you would want to see the pony who took so much away from you, to do whatever you want to him.”

Dim shrieked. “All I want to do is kill you, you evil little colt! You don't deserve to live! You don't deserve happiness! Because of you my family will never live again! Because of you I will never see my son grow up, find a mare to be with, and be happy! Because of you my husband will never, ever sing to me again! You are a horrible, revolting little colt and I want to murder you and take all you love!”

Fear weathered the screaming. “Then do it. You can kill me as much as you want here. You can take out your aggressions as many time as you want. I promise I won't wake up from shock.”

Dim took the invitation to heart, as if it was the only thing she needed to pounce on him and start beating the living daylights out of him, rearing back a foreleg and striking him in the face with it, pulling back the other and pounding it down into his muzzle, jamming, slapping, and punching him ceaselessly, without end, hooves connecting in swift succession, never letting up, relentlessly showering him in a rain of blows, his muzzle getting screwed up, face swelling and bruising, skull cracking apart, lips splitting, tongue getting bit, throat collapsing, ears tearing, eyes gouged out.

The mare stood up, not yet satisfied. Even with the supposed brain damage Dim could feel the life still inside of him. She continued hammering into him, trampling her hooves into his body, slamming it down into his ribs again and again, first bruising, then cracking, then snapping off and puncturing his lungs, his heart weakly beating back in an attempt to stay going. Dim pulled one of his forelegs up to her mouth and bit down, as hard as she could, and tore from side to side, trying to rip a piece of him out and spit it out, only succeeding in making a multitude of bite marks. The mare screamed wildly, hitting him indiscriminately, kicking his body around, messing up and randomizing his organs with every blow of her hooves, crushing his scrotum and using all the strength she could to snap his legs in half with loud, disgusting, gruesome cracks.

Fear felt all of it. He almost failed to keep his promise in not waking up from shock because, even if it was all in his head, he knew how it should feel. It was a dull, throbbing sensation in the back of his mind, the way his body fell apart from the brutal assault was all too real to him. His windpipe was smashed, nearly shattered, and it was hard to breathe in waking too. If not impossible. Fear laid there, dying in a way as authentically to him as if he was awake. It brought back all sorts of memories of his vision dying by Chrono Corona, and recollections of dying by Faith's hoof, being shot by her. He remembered it intimately, and despite being far more painful than either of those encounters put together it felt the same. Everything fading away. He tried desperately to cling to life, to cling to sleep, to not wake up and leave Dim there alone, but it was becoming so far away.

Dim was sobbing into her hooves, crying her heart out, in reality and in dreaming, her entire body feeling exhausted and somehow... fresh. She could feel again, certainly. It wasn't just sadness. Getting out all the fury left her mourning all over again. She wasn't sorry, but she felt dirty and humiliated, like she'd done something wrong in the sight of some powerful being. She wasn't apologetic at all, and she'd never say she was sorry. “It's... not... enough...” Dim gasped out between her weeping, her chest heaving as everything clouded with tears and snot. “It'll never be enough.”

Fear heard her cries and through sheer will managed to fix at least part of himself, his mind brimming with wild sensory input, still remembering the state he was in, as if he couldn't just shrug off the entire thing because he didn't have that kind of control over his dreams. His voice came out in a wheeze, unable to see above him because his eyes were too swollen shut, one nearly crushed and hanging out of its socket from being pounded out of his skull. He shook his head. “Dim...”

Dim looked up, surprised. How could he still be alive? Or asleep? Or whatever it was that mattered here? How could he even speak!? She was pretty sure she'd deflated his larynx. Dim stared at the mess of colt on the ground and glared at him. “What do you want!?” She spat with such venom it was clear she'd not forgiven him at all.

“F-forgive me...”

Dim interrupted. “I will never forgive you!” She reached up to slam her hoof into him again, but hesitated.

“For being so... brash but...” Fear gasped out, breathing roughly, air coming out in labored pants. “But what if... what if I try to be the... colt you lost? Or... something?”

Dim sighed deeply, like a tumultuous tsunami leaving her lips. She wasn't sure if she was impressed by the colt's gall and determination to set things right, or offended by it and his very existence. Maybe both. But it came out as a tired, unnaturally calm response. “What makes you think you could possibly live up to my son and husband? I told you, there's no way they could ever be replaced.”

Fear closed his eyes, or at least as much as he could when they were so engorged from broken blood vessels and irritated flesh. “No... not that. What if I could...” he was grasping at straws, and it was noticeable by his voice, he didn't know how to word what he was trying to say. “What if I could... be somepony you could put your faith in. To be better. And to achieve your wishes.” Every word came out raspy, as if he couldn't speak right. “Make the future better, all for you. Dedi... dedicate my life to atoning. In the name of your... loved ones.” Fear coughed and hacked, and it nearly caused his throat to collapse all over again.

Dim was once again both impressed and offended. But, as much as she wanted to, she couldn't fault the colt for trying his hardest to make things right. It would never be right, but as she watched the colt try his damndest anyway, she couldn't help but realize... maybe it was possible to move on and latch onto something new? The hole in her heart may not be able to be filled, and the loss would always be rattling around inside of her mind, but perhaps she could build onto her heart until the hole was eclipsed.

==========================================================================================

Saway had spent a lot of time thinking ever since she'd been convinced Fear had lost, convinced that she was going to lose all past and future. And now, with Fear back, she'd had to spend even more time thinking. First it was coping with the stages of grief, of which she'd not finished, and then she'd had to spend time coping with the relief and newfound admiration she felt toward Fear. Never before had she actually believed in such things as heroes. As far as she was concerned every hero disappointed you eventually, but that was partly because, as a hero, she'd disappointed others and she'd seen her greatest heros disappoint her. Of which she had maybe one. But now, as she looked on the still crippled Fear, debilitated from his run in with Dim, only keeping the facade of his bodily damage in order to remind himself of what he'd done, and what he'd accomplished, Saway couldn't help but see Fear as a new breed of hero.

One that, hopefully, wouldn't disappoint her.

“Colt. I mean, Fearei. It pains me to admit, but I think you might've grown far better than me,” her voice rasped out as violently as ever, undertones of resignation buried in it. She didn't have the heart to fight her newfound feelings. It felt so much better to embrace them, but with it also came a strange sense of depression she couldn't articulate.

Fear, with swollen eyes and barely fixed legs, spoke up with as much exhaustion as Saway felt. “Eh.” He hardly had the energy to discuss anything, tired in both dream and waking from what he'd achieved with Dim Nova, and how he'd achieved it.

“No, really,” Saway continued as if she was having a whole conversation with the speechless colt. “I've decided that... if I had never found my true purpose, I'd've wanted you to be the one to put me down.” It seemed to take all of her strength to vocally admit it, but... there it was.

“Saway...” Fear sighed. “I would have spent my life trying to convince you to step down. With my murderlust dormant now I can't help but feel a sense of...” Fear rolled a hoof around, causing the bones to rattle as he looked off and to the ceiling. “That thing where you just want peace.”

Saway nodded once, rather sullenly. “Pacifism. The word you're looking for is pacifism.”

Fear thought about it. “Yeah. I guess. But y'eh, I don't want to hurt you Saway. I don't want to hurt anyone. I feel like when I was a foal again but... I know sometimes you have to hurt others in order to get places. It's... complicated.” He glanced to the floor.

Somehow the two of them got the feeling that if the world had forced them to fight, it would've played out exactly as Fear stated. Still...

“Besides, I learned from the best,” Fear continued, “so thank you. Don't count yourself out. You helped me a lot.”

Later, Luna and Nyx, both dealing with the heavy weight of progress being restored and maintained, commended Fear on his heroic duties. The alicorn just wished she had something new to bestow upon Fear to memorialize his accomplishment, both in seeking some ounce of forgiveness and in restoring order to the multiverse. For now. Nyx on the other hoof was just glad he could live in peace again, and promised himself he'd be sharing that harmony with Fear when and where he could.

==========================================================================================

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GE9p0Mugsi4

Amelio had been very insistent that Fear not meet with her yet. Not until she was ready to show him what had happened. Not until she was ready to explain it all. With body back to some semblance of normality, color restored to her mane and tail, and her cutiemark throbbing with shafts of black light as brilliantly as ever, she did her best to explain what had happened starting with her visit from fate, and her becoming Ameliofate.

“By the way, Fearei, we wanted to tell you...” Amelio continued, unnerving Fear with her usage of plural pronouns to the point he shifted in place. “Nothing is set in stone, but they are set in a dirt road. It can be added to, it can be taken away, you can modify it however you wish, and once you roll your wagon in the same path too much it will be the only one you can take without struggling. We tell you this simply because we know you've been having doubts about killing Breiker. That is just how you are, always considering your options after the fact. After you have dived in headfirst into everything you ever do, we know you finally start asking questions. And finally, we know you are going to have issues dealing with all your new traumas, with losing Amelio in some small way, with being killed by your family. Et cetera.”

Fear was silent.

“Life is going to be hard for you off and on, Brother, but we know you can endure. Unfortunately, though we will be able to help you in your endeavors to heal yourself, we can no longer spend time together like we used to anymore, Fearei. It is not right.”

The colt had been quiet for a long time, holding back tears he was sure would come out any moment. His voice cracked as he questioned why, why he was losing one of his favorite past times. Spending time with his sister.

“Because, Fearei. It is... a sensation that the Amelio side of us has when mixing with the fate side. The best way I can describe it is an inherent sense of wrongness. I feel more like a mentor to you now than any friend, or any sister, or any lover. The best way to describe it is to compare our relationship to old Equestrian laws about age of consent. We no longer feel comfortable spending time with you like that. Or in really any way that is not a teaching position.”

Fear managed a weak grin. “For a pony whose morality has become skewed, that sure is a mortal mindset.” Fear twisted a hoof around, trying to alleviate the depression he felt with a sense of humor.

“It is more than that. You will understand someday, Fearei Shatter.”

The colt was more than uncomfortable with his full name being used by this conglomeration of entity and sister.

==========================================================================================

Fear's family hadn't left Stable 47 yet. There were still a few more things to do before they could happily depart. One was relaxing and enjoying what the place had to offer, another was Fear discussing with his family what they'd been through.

It was Sim's turn first, and that had gone rather well. Sim had explained he'd get through it well enough, he just needed some time to get through his own thoughts on the matter. He'd explained he was sorry for attacking Fear, and that he wished he could take it back, but knew he never would. Still, he sang the song for Fear he'd been crafting, the song he'd last sung while they were spending time in the changeling baths.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYj0B71M06I

Fear was enamored by it.

Next was Faith. They'd had a good, long talk. The mare was desperate for Fear's forgiveness, and he gave it with ease. It still hurt him, sure. He wasn't sure he'd ever get over the image of taking a bullet for his father, of being shot by a mare he considered family, maybe even a sort of mother figure, but he'd do his best to get over it, remembering Amelio's words that he had to be careful of accidental resentment. And to be cautious about the paths his thoughts took when he was at his weakest.

Gentler was third and final. He was a strict, silent Abyssinian in those moments, but he apologized cleanly to Fear. The colt could tell it was eating away at Gentler to the point he blamed himself for not being strong enough at the time, and still faulted himself for being too weak to handle it even now. Fear took steps to assuage that by bringing him to Freiya, and together the three of them looked through the new Seer's Eye they'd been gifted by Amelio's spell to see just what was going to become of Abyssinia in many futures. They couldn't determine what would happen in theirs, it was too far up in the air based on what choices they made in the here and now, but the possibilities they did see were varied. Fear promised him that they'd take a trip to Abyssinia once they found a way in order to protect it from that probable zebra warlord who would one day be taking a trip to Gentler's old home.

Freiya (whose consciousness had merely been ingested, not killed) explained to Fear, when they were alone, what happened to Amor Fati. The cause behind Breiker getting some of her power. They'd come to the conclusion that the stallion had been blinded by a sense of parental obligation, a reluctance to go against his daughter's cutiemark, and a desire to have even more purpose in his life. It was because of that they weren't going to execute him, but he certainly had shown he didn't have the kind of inner strength and responsibility to be Overstallion. Freiya promised Fear they'd be grooming a new overmare or stallion immediately so his grandma could retire as soon as possible. While spending time with her, the mare asked Fear what he thought of her songs.

Fear replied that his favorite was probably that Pollyanna one. It reminded him so much of what he used to be, and so much of what he wanted to be.

Freiya told Fear that she believed every silver timeline was a silver lining, a new source of infinite potential as long as you knew what to make of it. And that Freiya would help him in all his endeavors in the future. If he ever needed help, he could request Princess Luna summon her to the world of dreams and he would give him a look into the pendant if he so needed. And that she would be paying attention to it to make sure he stayed safe.

==========================================================================================

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqBvaEHnjZg

When they got back to Dryfield, where Fear had kept his plushie due to not wanting it to get damaged, and his Garand because he didn't think he'd have enough ammo to keep it worthwhile, the colt helped his father now and then to practice for his upcoming play, and continued spending time with his family, making new memories and preparing for his next big adventure. It was certainly exciting in an awfully redundant way, occasionally fending off raiders and having fun like a colt should.

Eventually, while laying in the guest bed at the farm, Fear looked back on his journey up to this point, from losing his mother to meeting Crate and Angel, all the way through killing Chrono and finding his new family, as well as going through his own ordeals and defeating Solanum and Breiker. And finally, he thought about his vague, distant memories of meeting his mother in the cusp of the afterlife and what she'd sung to him, her true feelings toward him. Fear realized something in those moments. We don't have to let misery define us, we can overcome. Life is a blank slate painted on by everyone, and misery is just part of the rainbow that makes it up. The colt twisted in bed, leaning to the other side. I'm not going to erase my traumas, but I am going to paint over them, build them into something new. I grow stronger in spite of my damage, not because of it. Just because I live in a wasteland doesn't mean everything is devoid of hope.

Author's Notes:

It seems far more appropriate to me for Fear to acknowledge the misery and go, "you know, it's part of life, but there's a lot to it all than just misery." Fear's technically lost his sister a second time, and he's now dealing with the trauma of having been killed by his family. If he's careful about it, it won't make him resentful. It might not have been explicitly their fault, but emotions are irrational and it doesn't erase the fact that it happened, you're still likely to dwell and brood if you're not cautious. Saying "life isn't so miserable anymore" just feels too happy. I want it to be a hopeful ending, not saccharine. Fear's going to appreciate the good things about life and move on from the bad.

Besides, I'd rather subvert the title of the story in an unexpected, philosophical way, rather than completely deviate from it. It's foolish to think life isn't going to continue throwing bad things at you, but it's going to continue throwing good things at you too. Fear's young and inexperienced, but he's starting to realize that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiJ6Msj9uPY