“I’m sorry,” you interject assertively, “It is stiflingly humid in...wherever this is, and it is making me very uncomfortable. Do you have a dehumidifier, or something?”

“...What?” Queen Chrysalis asks, blinking a few times. “No, I do not have a dehumidifer, because this is the humidity with which I am most comfortable.” She furrows her brow and scowls at you. “Also, I just realized that I don’t care if you’re comfortable or not! You are my prisoner that I plan to do unspeakable things to!”

You roll your eyes. “Well, could you at least tape a few silica gel packs under my front legs? It is so unbelievably damp in here that I’m already starting to sweat, which is not going to be good for either of us, believe me. Seriously, what is the dew point in here? Like sixty? Sixty-five?”

Queen Chrysalis unleashes a scary hiss, her tongue coming out of her mouth and rattling around in anger. “Silence, you ANIMAL!” Her voice begins to sound raspy as she continues. “I do not care for your comfort or well-being, and I plan to hurt you in ways tha-”

Chrysalis enters another coughing fit that lasts for almost twenty seconds.

You wince in empathy. “Oooh, the bronchitis got you, huh? That’s cough number two in like, a minute.” You gesture with your head towards your belongings, which have been lumped together on one side of the room. “I think I have some cough drops in my bag, you can have one if you think it will help.”

Queen Chrysalis shakes her head and scowls at you. “No! There will be no further discussion of the humidity, nor of my health! Now be silent, and cower in fear!”

To cower in fear at Queen Chrysalis, proceed to Chapter 2.

To enthusiastically jump at the opportunity to get a small spark of romantic company in your otherwise sad and lonely existence, proceed to Chapter 3.