Caress-Your-Own-Chrysalis
by CategoricalGrant
First published
A Choose-Your-Own-Adventure romantic random comedy in which you are kidnapped by Queen Chrysalis. Will she become your waifu, or will you be left sobbing into your lifesize pony plushie as usual? The choices and consequences are your own!
Queen Chrysalis, the most evil and despised enemy of ponykind, has kidnapped you! For most ponies, this would be the time to say their prayers, but not for you- this might be your only opportunity to change things so you don't die alone!
In this Choose-Your-Own-Adventure random romcom, the choices (and the consequences, hilarious or not) are your own! A spiritual successor to Cuddle-Your-Own-Celestia, Love-Your-Own-Luna, and Date-Your-Own-Dashie.
Introduction (START YOUR ADVENTURE HERE)
Author's Notes:
Book horse won the poll on who is coming next. This is just a short one, I promise.
A fraternity brother of mine once found a Youtube playlist entitled 'important cancer' and I'd like to think this story would qualify for a position there.
Also it's Memorial Day. God Bless the Troops.
You groan softly as you try and move your limbs. You are barely even able to wiggle them, and what little motion you are able to instill in them is enough to inform you that they are incredibly sore. Wincing, you open your eyes.
You are most definitely not in your bedroom. It’s fairly dark where you are, but while squinting you are able to make out strange, organic shapes present in the architecture of the room.
Craning your neck to look at your hooves, you find that they have been adhered to the black wall by some sort of sticky, green substance. You’re really not sure what is going on, but you are comforted by the fact that you’re alive and apparently in no immediate danger.
You take a few moments to compose yourself, taking deep breaths. It is during this time that you notice that for whatever reason, the room is incredibly humid; your coat is already starting to get damp just from exposure to the air.
Feeling a bit stronger, and unable to wait aimlessly any longer, you clear your throat. “Hello?” You call. “Helloooo?”
“Oh good, you are awake,” a booming voice responds. “I was afraid that I had killed you on accident.”
Looking toward the source of the noise, your eyes widen as a tall, black creature rounds a corner and enters your vision. She looks vaguely like a pony, but the crystalline wings and porous limbs reveal that her appearance is deceiving.
“Well, I mean, not on accident, persay,” she revises, grinning devilishly at you as she continues to slowly approach. “I do hurt ponies rather often, but it wouldn’t have been ideal for you to die, in this case.”
Your eyes suddenly widen in understanding. This must be the changeling queen, Chrysalis! You saw her picture in a copy of the Canterlot post, once. In that photo she had looked sleek, confident, and intimidatingly alluring.
Looking at her now, she appears a little ragged and particularly skinny. She’d really let herself go downhill.
“However, now,” she continues her monologue, drawing close enough to boop your muzzle threateningly, “I shall suck every last drop of love from your body and leave you an empty shell!”
She laughs evilly for a few seconds, before the cackle devolves into a hacking cough.
To ask Queen Chrysalis to turn down the humidity, proceed to Chapter 1.
To cower in fear before Queen Chrysalis, proceed to Chapter 2.
To enthusiastically jump at the opportunity to get a small spark of romantic company in your otherwise sad and lonely existence, proceed to Chapter 3.
Chapter 1
“I’m sorry,” you interject assertively, “It is stiflingly humid in...wherever this is, and it is making me very uncomfortable. Do you have a dehumidifier, or something?”
“...What?” Queen Chrysalis asks, blinking a few times. “No, I do not have a dehumidifer, because this is the humidity with which I am most comfortable.” She furrows her brow and scowls at you. “Also, I just realized that I don’t care if you’re comfortable or not! You are my prisoner that I plan to do unspeakable things to!”
You roll your eyes. “Well, could you at least tape a few silica gel packs under my front legs? It is so unbelievably damp in here that I’m already starting to sweat, which is not going to be good for either of us, believe me. Seriously, what is the dew point in here? Like sixty? Sixty-five?”
Queen Chrysalis unleashes a scary hiss, her tongue coming out of her mouth and rattling around in anger. “Silence, you ANIMAL!” Her voice begins to sound raspy as she continues. “I do not care for your comfort or well-being, and I plan to hurt you in ways tha-”
Chrysalis enters another coughing fit that lasts for almost twenty seconds.
You wince in empathy. “Oooh, the bronchitis got you, huh? That’s cough number two in like, a minute.” You gesture with your head towards your belongings, which have been lumped together on one side of the room. “I think I have some cough drops in my bag, you can have one if you think it will help.”
Queen Chrysalis shakes her head and scowls at you. “No! There will be no further discussion of the humidity, nor of my health! Now be silent, and cower in fear!”
To cower in fear at Queen Chrysalis, proceed to Chapter 2.
To enthusiastically jump at the opportunity to get a small spark of romantic company in your otherwise sad and lonely existence, proceed to Chapter 3.
Chapter 2
You begin shivering in fear. “No! N-nonono! S-stay away!”
Queen Chrysalis smiles fiendishly, her tongue snaking out and rattling in your face. She draws it up your cheek as she clambers onto you, her body pressing yours into the wall. “Now I shall feast on your love!”
You shiver at the touch of Chrysalis’ smooth, warm chitin, and you can feel your love being drawn out of you slowly. It feels rather nice, actually, although you are already feeling fatigued.
To begin screaming incoherently, proceed to Chapter 4.
To slowly start entering into a submissive roleplay, proceed to Chapter 5.
Chapter 3
“Oh boy!” you start wiggling in excitement. “I can’t wait to share my love with you! I have so much love to give!’
Queen Chrysalis scrunches up her muzzle in confusion. “What? No! Cower in fear, don’t tremble in anticipation!”
“I can’t help it,” you squee. “I’ve been so lonely for so long that this is a dream come true!”
“But I’m going to suck out all of your love and let you waste away without food until you die! Aren’t you scared?”
“Well, if you fed me and just kept me around then you won’t have to kidnap any more ponies,” you suggest. “You can just come and get love from me whenever you want.”
“I...that is a pretty good idea, I suppose,” Chrysalis ponders aloud, ripping you off of the wall and holding you close to her.
As you cuddle the changeling regent, you can feel a pleasant tingling as she eats your love. You hum happily and lean into her. “Wow, this is so pleasant. It’s way better than crying myself to sleep in my empty studio apartment,” you coo.
Chrysalis blushes softly and looks away from you. “Be silent so that I may more easily devour your affections.”
You stick your muzzle into her mane and inhale deeply. “Oh, wow,” you comment, ignoring her previous orders. “You smell awesome, like dirt and blueberries mixed together.” You look up at her face, next. “Oh, and you’re really beautiful.”
Chrysalis huffs. “Will you stop making me feel good? I don’t like it, it makes me feel funny inside.”
To stop complimenting Chrysalis, proceed to Chapter 10.
To compliment her even harder, proceed to Chapter 11.
Chapter 4
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” You screech, wiggling your entire form in a feeble attempt to escape. “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! OHOHOHOHOHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
Queen Chrysalis lets out bouts of joyous laughter at your doomed struggle. “Scream all you want, nopony can hear you!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
“Yes,” she seethes, running her tongue up your ear. “I will drain you of your love and nothing you can say will stop me!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Chrysalis winces and her horn-like aural flaps flatten in annoyance. “Alright, alright, I get it, you’re scared! Stop screaming already.”
To continue screaming, proceed to Chapter 6.
To stop screaming and apologize, proceed to Chapter 7.
Chapter 5
“I’ll do whatever you want,” you moan as the love flows out of your heart and into Chrysalis, leaving your body tingling.
“Good,” she whispers in your ear. “You broke much quicker than the others. You will find that following my orders will lead to much less agony on your part.”
You shiver profusely as Queen Chrysalis begins rubbing her chitinous barrel up and down yours.
The restraints on your front hooves suddenly melt away under the influence of Queen Chrysalis’ magic. “Hold me so that I may suck you love out more easily,” she commands.
You immediately wrap your hooves around Chrysalis’ midsection and rest your face against her elegant neck. “Yes, master.”
You can feel Chrysalis shift uncomfortably. “Uh...yes. I suppose you could...uh...call me your master.”
To continue making things weird, proceed to Chapter 8.
To start kissing Chrysalis’ neck, proceed to Chapter 9.
Chapter 6
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” you scream, your eyes tightly shut.
A few seconds of silence follow.
You peek one eye open and see Chrysalis shooting you a deadpan glare. “Shut up, please.”
You inhale again. “AAAAA-”
Chrysalis plugs your mouth shut with a hoof. “Wow, you really are quite annoying. I’m going to kill you now so you’ll stop screaming.”
Rule one of being a kidnapping victim: bitches end up in stitches, dude.
WORST ENDING
Chapter 7
“Sorry,” you apologize. “I was scared.”
“No, it’s fine, I get it,” Chrysalis nonchalantly responds. “Happens more often than you would think with kidnappings.”
“So I guess I’m your prisoner and your going to suck out all my love until I die, then?”
“Yeah, that’s basically the plan,” she responds, resting her head under your neck and nonchalantly examining her hoof as the love continues to flow out of you and nourish her.
“...Do I get my own room?” you ask.
“Most definitely,” she responds. “I mean, you’re a prisoner so I have to chain you up and everything, but it’s got a king-size gel cocoon.”
“Oh, sweet.”
“Yeah, we’ve got this merchandising deal with another changeling kingdom,” she responds, rubbing your cutie marks in tiny circles to elicit more love flow from you. “We buy the cocoons wholesale and get a great deal.”
“Will I have cable?” you ask.
Chrysalis inhales awkwardly. “Oooooh, uh, no. Satellite.”
“Oh.” Your ears flop to the sides of your head.
“Is that acceptable?”
“Y-yeah, totally,” you stammer back politely. “I’ll find a way to make it work. Also, just for the record, how long will it take to suck out all my love?”
“How long can ponies last without food?” Chrysalis gives you a hug and a tight squeeze, resorbing your affection.
“Like about a month, I think?”
“Then about a month.”
You frown solemnly as you consider your situation. Then, you shrug indifferently. “Free cuddles from a bug queen, but I get my love sucked out and I die...The candle that burns twice as bright, burns half as long, I suppose.”
OK ENDING
Chapter 8
“Your love flow is slowing,” Chrysalis sneers, flicking your horn with a hoof as if checking a gauge. “What on earth happened?” She squeezes you tightly against her, seemingly in an attempt to wring more love out of your fatigued body.
“Erghhh,” you moan as your fur slides across her smooth carapace. “Harder Mommy!”
Chrysalis looks at you immediately with a mix of shock and disgust. “What?”
“What?” you reply quickly.
“What did you just say?”
“What did who just say?”
Rolling her eyes, Chrysalis removes herself from you and removes your remaining restraints with her magic. “You made this weird. Get out of my house.”
Your head sinks low to the floor. “Aw. Okay.” You gather up your belongings from the corner and slink out of the chamber.
You return a moment later. “Uh, how do I get out of the hive?”
Chrysalis huffs impatiently. “Head down that hall, take the second left, make three consecutive rights, take the fourth left, up the spiral ramp two floors, take the second right, and it’s the seventh sphincter on the left.”
You narrow your eyes and repeat the directions in your head. “...Okay, yup, got it, thanks.”
Then, you slink away, waifu-less as usual.
BAD ENDING
Chapter 9
You lean forward and press your lips sensually into Chrysalis’ hard carapace. You moan into her and run your tongue up her neck.
“Wh-what are you doing!?” she cries, blushing.
“I want you, I need you,” you whisper, running your tongue all the way up her neck to her lips. “You don’t have to take my love, I’ll give it to you. I’ll give you more than you can handle.”
“Oooooh~” Chrysalis moans sensually. “Kiss me, you incredibly attractive pony!”
Immediately, you press your lips to Chrysalis’ and run your tongue past her fangs and into her wet maw. Her long tongue immediately wraps around yours, leaving it ample room to enter and explore your mouth, going so far as to paint your tonsils with her saliva.
Wrapping your hooves around her flanks, you squeeze her hips into yours and moan loudly into her mouth. You lift her tail and-
“Woah, woah, woah!” Twilight Sparkle says, slamming the book shut quickly. “I didn’t know this was going to be pornographic! When in Equestria did you get into writing fictional Choose-Your-Own-Adventure pornography?”
“Hey, watch your mouth. This is not fiction,” the black pegasus across the table corrects, leaning over the table to snatch the book away. “This is an adaptation of my memoir, tentatively entitled, ‘Thunderlane: An Erotic Life’, into a form which allows the reader to experience my conquests. It’s a work of art and nonfiction, all at the same time.”
Twilight raises an eyebrow. “You know that the things in a memoir have to actually happen, right?”
“I totally bedded Queen Chrysalis!” Thunderlane protests.
“Oh, I’m not doubting that,” Twilight responds. “That bitch is notoriously promiscuous. What I am doubting is that you had a casual summer fling with Princess Luna, were intimate with every female Wonderbolt in one evening, or turned down a marriage proposal from Dragon Lord Ember.”
“Those all happened! I don’t need your disapproval, alright? I’m very sex-positive and it’s not my fault some ponies are judgmental prudes.”
Twilight’s horn glows, removing the book from his grasp and floating it back over to her. Opening it to a specific page, she places it back down at the table and taps it with a hoof. “And what about this part here where it says I let you give me a butt massage? I guarantee that never happened.”
Thunderlane’s eyes flicked back and forth between the page and Twilight. “We can make it happen, if you want.”
Twilight scoffs in disgust and rubs her eyes with a hoof. “Look, I love to proofread, but I can’t edit this smut for you. It’s immoral. If you really need an editor, go take this to Rarity, she eats this kind of stuff for breakfast.”
“Fine,” Thunderlane indignantly sneers, snatching the book away and putting it into his saddlebags. “She owes me one anyway.”
SECRET ENDING 1 (REJECTED BY BOOK PUBLISHER)
Chapter 10
“Okay, but only because it’s you and you’re my new marefriend,” you say, booping her on the muzzle.
“I am not your marefriend, and if you ever touch my face like that again I will bite your hoof, then rip your front leg off and beat you to death with it,” she growls back at you.
It looks like the ol’ horse bug ball and chain is a little displeased with you. You better change the subject or figure out some other way to pass the time, lest she make you sleep on the couch!
To start inserting your hoof into Chrysalis’ leg-holes in boredom, proceed to Chapter 12.
To ask Chrysalis if she wants to make out, proceed to Chapter 13.
Chapter 11
“I mean, really, really beautiful,” you coo, looking up starry-eyed at your new love-sucking buddy. “Your eyes are all iridescent and unique, they’re so stunning! Your magic is pretty powerful too, and wow, I can’t even imagine how intelligent you must be to have kidnapped me so easily. It must have been a clever plan!”
“W-what are you doing?” Chrysalis asks, furrowing her brow. You can feel her heart beating quickly in her chest. “Stop it. Stop it right now!”
‘“Your carapace is super smooth, and you look stunning in this low-light environment.”
Chrysalis begins to softly glow, and her eyes widen in horror. “N-no! Please, stop!”
“You have a good heart, too. I know you said you let ponies starve to death but I don’t believe it. It must be for show because you’re too kind for that,” you muse. “Overall, you’re just so sweet and adorable, and I’m glad to be your friend!”
The glowing around Chrysalis becomes a blinding white light, and she screams in agony for a few seconds before it fades.
Your eyes widen in surprise, and you smile widely. “WOW! Now you’re even prettier, Your Highness!”
Chrysalis is now a soft lilac color, with a flowing mane of light green and pupils shaped like hearts. She looks down at one of her legs and gasps in horror. “No! No!” Running over to a polished wall that she ostensibly uses as a mirror, she looks at herself and lets out a single sob of terror. “Look what you did to me!”
You clop your hooves together in joy. “Wait, I made you even more beautiful? I am so glad to have helped!”
“Now I look like that wimpy traitor Thorax, or one of his gay friends!” Chrysalis laments, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. “Why did you have to be nice to me? This existence is pure pain!”
“Aw, I don’t think it’s that bad,” you say. “You look so huggable! I bet kids will love you!”
“I hate foals,” Chrysalis sobs.
Just then, a wall on the other side of the room explodes inward. Thorax the Changeling King strolls in with several friendly-looking pastel changelings in tow. “Hello? I detected a strong flare-up of gay magic and we came as soon as we could,” he declares, looking around the room. His eyes widen when they fall on Chrysalis, and he smiles widely. “Chrysalis! You’ve decided to join us!”
Chrysalis collapses to her haunches and scoots backwards with her hooves. “N-no...stay away!”
“Aww, c’mere,” Thorax beckons, holding a hoof out wide in an invitation to a hug as he approaches Chrysalis.
“No! Noooo!” Chrysalis backs into the wall and holds up her hooves in front of her face as a defensive mechanism. “Get away from me!”
Thorax pulls her into a hug, eliciting a shriek of angst from Chrysalis. “Yay, friendship!” he cheers as he holds her.
The other changelings cheer as well, and you join in on the cheering party, too.
Thorax finally lets go of Chrysalis and begins to gush about his kingdom. “Oh, I’m so glad you made this decision! We have all sorts of great things, like arts and crafts, and a feelings circle, and corporate diversity training, and a pen pal program…”
Chrysalis simply cries quietly in the corner as Thorax continues his list.
“Hey, that stuff sounds pretty good,” you comment. “Can I come too?”
“Sure!” Thorax chirps. “The more the merrier! Isn’t that right, Chryssi?”
Chrysalis removes her hooves from her bloodshot eyes and struggles to catch her breath. “I-I-I hate you all!”
Well, I think you might have just lowkey saved Equestria from the clutches of a maniacal bug monster. Good work!
SECRET ENDING 2 (HERO OF EQUESTRIA)
Chapter 12
Gently, you move your hoof towards Chrysalis’ leg.
You steal a glance up at her. She is still looking away from you indignantly and hasn’t noticed.
Softly, you insert your hoof into one of her leg holes and gasp. “It’s a perfect fit…” you whisper.
“What on earth are you on about this time!?” Chrysalis demands, looking down at you. “Hey! Stop that!” She lifts her leg, but your hoof is still caught in the hole.
“Now it’s like we’re holding hooves,” you coo happily.
Chrysalis violently shakes her leg until your hoof falls out of it. “You are incredibly impetuous. If you are looking for something to do, then why don’t you tell me all of Equestria’s weaknesses so I can plan my next invasion!?”
To explain in detail the military weaknesses of ponykind, proceed to Chapter 14.
To explain the ideal process of how to extract love from a pony, proceed to Chapter 15.
Chapter 13
“Wanna make out?” you ask, kissing Chrysalis on the cheek. You sing song your next statement to entice her. “~It’ll make my loooove come out faster~.”
Queen Chrysalis sneers and opens her mouth to say something, but then closes her mouth and thinks about it. Shrugging, she then presses her lips to yours in a passionate kiss. Moaning, she flips you onto your back, and you proceed to spend the next hour rolling around in on the floor of the hive frenching.
“So, how did you escape?” one of the stallions in the crowd gathered around you asks.
“She ate so much of my love that she just went into a food coma and fell asleep,” you nonchalantly explain. You take a swig of your cider. “Ahhh. Yup. Took me a while to find my way out of that catacomb, but now I’m the only pony in town that’s made out with a bug queen.”
The crowd cheers.
“You’re a legend!” another stallion calls from further back.
“That’s why they call him ‘The Legend’,” the stereotypically gruff but good-hearted bartender explains as he wipes down the bar, motioning to the framed portrait of you on the wall entitled ‘The Legend’.
You smirk smugly, but before you’re able to launch into another story about romantic conquest, your magic crystal cell phone goes off. “Uhp, hold on one sec guys,” you excuse, holding up a hoof.
Pulling out the cell phone, you look down at the screen.
Incoming Call From: Queen Chrys-a-THOT
“Yeah, I gotta take this.” You put the phone to your ear. “Yo.”
“Bae, come over,” Chrysalis’ voice comes through the line. “I’m hungry.”
“I can’t,” you explain. “I’m regaling the boys with tales from my life.”
“My landlord isn’t home and I bought a dehumidifier.”
You instantly end the call and slap down a hoof-full of bits onto the counter. “I gotta go, uh, do a thing. See you later, boys.”
“See you around, Legend,” the bartender says, shooting you a respectful nod.
GREAT ENDING
Chapter 14
A few months later, you stand on a hilltop watching Canterlot burn to the ground. You purse your lips as you consider your life decisions. To be honest, this outcome seemed inevitable, and you’re not sure you could have done anything to avoid it.
The buzzing of wings signals the arrival of queen Chrysalis to the hilltop, and she trots up beside you. “Thanks a bunch, love,” she mocks, kissing you on the cheek. “Now, go get in the chariot and let me take you to be imprisoned in the labor camp.”
With little hearts in your eyes, you stumble over to the chariot blindly. “C-can I have another kiss on the way?” you ask.
Chrysalis cups your muzzle in her hooves. “You can have as many kisses as you want, my traitorous little sugarbug.”
‘GOOD’ (?) ENDING
Chapter 15
“Alright, listen carefully,” you explain. “I am going to explain the exact perfect process for how to steal love from a pony.”
“Very well. Go on,” Chrysalis commands, regarding you skeptically.
“First, you have to pick out a pony that tickles your fancy and with lots of love inside.”
“I already have one of those,” Chrysalis complains impatiently. “Get on with the next step.”
“Okay, next, you have to spend lots of time with that pony doing activities you both enjoy. That will fill up the pony with even more love.”
“Oh, shit, this is actually gold,” Chrysalis mutters to herself, using her magic to teleport a notepad and quill to her. She begins furiously scribbling notes on the paper. “I did a stint as an imposter princess for a while and in retrospect some of the stuff the stallion wanted to do is suddenly making sense.”
“Then it’s important to be kind, give lots of compliments and gifts, and when the pony is comfortable, you should start kissing him. Then, after that, the next step is to…”
“...And if you’ve done all of that stuff correctly, a year or so later the pony should give you a pretty ring and ask you to marry him. You should say yes, and then get married, which will be an entire day of just love.”
Chrysalis shudders and licks her lips. “I can already taste it.”
“Then finally, you should have lots of beautiful changeling-pony children and move to Ponyville, which has a great friendship school for them. Then, you can live happily ever after, feasting on all of the love that pony has to give.’
Finishing her notes, Chrysalis slams the quill down on the ground and smiles wickedly at you. “You are an absolutely ignorant buffoon! Now, I shall use all of these steps on you, making you my love slave for as long as you live!”
“O-oh no,” you quake in faux fear. “What a terrible mistake I’ve made!”
Chrysalis chuckles evilly. “Now then, my little...uh…” she looks at her notes. “My little stud muffin. I think that it is time for us to engage in an appointment...no, that’s not it...a date in which we will get ice cream together and snuggle close while watching a movie in an outdoor theater!”
“Oh, that sounds awful but I just can’t stop myself from accepting,” you moan, stumbling to your hooves.
Chrysalis also rises to her hooves and checks her notes. Then, she takes your hoof in hers and wraps her tail around yours. “We’re going to be totally in love,” she cackles evilly as she leads you out of the hive, “and there is nothing you can do about it!”
“I’m so excited,” you whisper to yourself, biting your lip to keep yourself from giggling in joy.
PERFECT ENDING
CONGRATULATIONS YOU NOW HAVE A BUG WAIFU