“You’re getting more ambitious.”

Again in awe of the dark-haired beauty in front of her, Sunset breathed, “I am?”

“Yes.” Already making her way out of the bathroom and Sunset’s bedroom, Twilight took a moment to drag her fingertip along a row of books that populated her sizable bookshelf. She ‘hummed’ softly as she took in the various titles that Sunset saw fit to stock. Finally, the freshly-summon goddess entered to her living room and perched on the nearest arm of the couch. “I felt a lot more blood tying me to the spell this time. What, did you squeeze?”

Just at that moment, Sunset had gone to the kitchen and leaned over the sink to wash her hands, and paused. When Twilight only smirked over her shoulder, she went ahead with cleaning her hands. “Maybe I did. So what?”

“Nothing. But it’s more… how should I put this?” Turning, she slid straight down the arm of the couch, not teetering or hesitating in the slightest. “Imagine walking through a rusty screen door that smacks you on the ass on your way through. That was my welcome last time, due to the amount of life force that fuelled the summoning. Now, imagine walking through motorized sliding double doors at a supermarket, with that air conditioning over the doorway blasting down on you all like, ‘Ahhh, it’s soooo gooooood.’ Better, right?”

“Uh, I guess,” Sunset half-laughed as she joined Twilight in the living room.

“Either way, I still make it here. But it is nice for the trip to be smoother. More comfortable. You get the idea.” Then she grinned lazily. “So… I take it you’re still up for some mischief?”

“Potentially.” After a moment’s hesitation, she stepped closer. “Do you mind if I…?”

“Touch me? Is it reality-check-o’clock, already? Sure; I was waiting for this to come up anyway.”

Holding out both arms, Twilight sighed slightly and sat there, patiently waiting for Sunset to do what she was going to do. As it turned out, her plan was to raise one index finger and run it along the inside of her forearm. It felt almost exactly like regular human flesh — only just a tad warmer, as her fingertip had been before. When she reached the crook of her elbow, she wrapped her entire hand around the circumference of the arm and slid it back down to her wrist.

“Mmm,” Twilight breathed quietly. “You have soft hands, and a gentle touch. Flash sure is missing out.”

Sunset felt her eyes widen. “What? Um… thanks? I think.”

Smirking up at her, she then raised a dark purple eyebrow. “Satisfied yet? I mean, you can fondle other parts of my body all night if you want, but…” When Sunset’s hand was snatched back, she snickered. “Very well, then. To business!”

“Right,” Sunset muttered, her cheeks warming. “So, um, are we still getting the small fry out of the way first, and then working our way up to the bigger assholes?” If Twilight was polite enough to ignore her sudden discomfort that the situation caused her, she had no impetus to acknowledge it, either.

“If that’s what you want. And if so, you have one or two names to pick from. Pick your poison and we’ll get started.”

“Pizza is my poison,” Sunset breathed as she stepped closer to Twilight again. “Let’s go after that jerkface who couldn’t seem to figure out where my eyes are.”

Twilight’s grin was devious, and held no shortage of excitement. “Sunny, darling… do you have an old t-shirt I can use that you wouldn’t mind losing forever?”

There wasn’t a whole lot you could say about Noteworthy. Even if you were Noteworthy; he thought he was great, exactly as his name implied, but that didn’t mean he was a complicated man.

For the past six years since he graduated high school, he had schlepped for the local pizza joint. Trying all the different combinations of shirts eventually landed him in the evening slot, where he could more or less avoid the lunch rush and the more manageable dinner rush didn’t tax him overly. Then, cleaning and locking up gave him the solitude that was in such short supply when the restaurant was more crowded. A simple, uncomplicated life that gave him plenty of time for more… leisurely pursuits.

One of which was the weekly wet t-shirt contest at the local bar. There was nothing terribly unique about his chosen watering hole, other than the fact that is was always full to capacity during every season but summer. There simply weren’t enough bars in town, and this was one of the two that catered to a younger clientele whereas the rest were where old men went to drink and die.

Tonight was no different from the last week. After stacking chairs on tables, mopping the floor, wiping down the counters and hanging up his apron, Noteworthy made his way a few blocks down to the bar and took his place at his usual stool. Sometimes, if he was lucky, one of the girls participating would be wearing a skirt and fail to realize the implications of standing on a countertop where men were seated underneath. That was an extra little thrill when it happened.

He had been there about fifteen minutes and downed three beers when the bartender clapped his hands and said, “Alright, let’s get this party started!!!”

The crowd cheered and the barback went to the stereo in the corner and kicked off some bass-laden dubstep, and a machine started flashing colored strobe lights around the room. Men and women cheered. Noteworthy often found himself wondering if the women who cheered were at least a little queer, or if they just thought the spectacle was amusing.

Maybe both.

“Today, we have five — count ‘em, five — contestants! Some are returning favorites, and there are even a couple new faces here for you!” He paused for comedic effect. “But then again, it’s probably not their faces you’re all interested in!”

More bawdy laughter as the barback ducked out of the bar, then placed a step stool at one end of it. The women’s restroom at the far end opened, and five women in white tees — whom Noteworthy would all rate between a six and a nine on a ten-point scale of hotness — began to walk toward the stool. Indeed, he already knew that Roseluck was back from her sorority, and Cloud Kicker and Sea Swirl always entered. One sad night, Sea Swirl had actually one first prize because the competition was so pathetic.

Then there were two new entries. One, a dark haired girl that looked to be about as old as Roseluck, and was talking to her as they approached the bar. The other wore a dusty, well worn-looking cowboy hat, her blonde hair spilling out in waves from underneath the brim. She was a little wider around the waist than the other four, but her curves were flawless — and her face was hands down the most attractive out of the five, even if it wasn’t ‘model perfect’.

“And give it up for Sea Swirl, back again!” The crowd was clapping. Noteworthy had been so curious about the blonde that he hadn’t even heard Cloud Kicker’s introduction this time. Alas, none of the girls were wearing skirts; it was getting a bit late in the year to hope for that. However, as Roseluck prepared to take the stage, he saw that her cutoffs were pretty short. A small consolation prize.

“Next, a new recruit that Roseluck ran out and got for us — and she looks like she might be stiff competition!” The crowd ‘oooeh’ on cue. “Give it up for, Rarity!!!”

As Rarity smiled and waved at the crowd, her smile both nervous and pained, Noteworthy took the opportunity to drink in her curves. She was a little thin for his taste, almost too thin, but that didn’t make her any less beautiful to his eyes. Of course, her hair was probably faked with dyes and extensions, and she wore too much jewelry. But that didn’t matter; none of it would once the games were underway.

“...Roseluck!” As she pranced around and waved, blowing kisses, Noteworthy’s eyes slid over to the other newbie. She didn’t look nervous in the slightest, but she was scanning the crowd, and checking out her competition on the bar. “And our last new recruit for our weekly wet t-shirt contest is an out-of-towner!” There were some half-hearted boos, but the bartender called for them to settle back down. “Now, now, don’t be like that — her tits are as welcome here as anyone else’s! We don’t discriminate here!” Now they were laughing again, and he grinned through his thick beard and said, “Let’s hear a warm welcome for… Twiiiiiii!”

The crowd cheered as much for as as for Rarity, but she didn’t wave back, didn’t pander to them. All she did was walk up onto the bar and strike a pose with a hand on one hip, tapping the rim of her hat with the other. It irritated Noteworthy that she wasn’t working the crowd the way the other four were, but there was also a part of him deep down that was impressed with her nonchalant confidence.

“Alright ladies, you know the rules; no touching the guys, and no taking off your clothes. We’re not zoned for that — unfortunately!” Laughter poisoned with groans rang out, and Sea Swirl shrugged as if to say she would have been absolutely fine with stripping if it would get her a win. Hell, she’d tried before. “When you’re all soaked, you have thirty seconds to strut your stuff for the fine ladies and gentlemen! When time’s up, the music will stop, and then we’ll put it to a vote! Alright, are you ready to be sprayed?!”

As everybody cheered, Noteworthy leaned forward slightly, gripping the lower half of his pint. This was it, the moment he waited all week for. Maybe that was a little pathetic, but what did it matter? Regardless, he was about to enjoy some voyeuristic entertainment without having to drive outside of town to the strip clubs.

The barback paused the music and continued to fiddle with the stereo which the bartender took careful aim with his tap. “Alright — here we go, ladies, lean in together! The audience doesn’t get a free drink, now! Okay; three, two, one!”

A stream of beer shot out from the tap and began to coat the five chests that were pressed up against each other. By now, the man was a deadshot; Noteworthy could still remember his first few contests in which he would start the nozzle with it aimed either too high, shooting Cloud Kicker in the face, or too low and it ended up pooling in the bottom of the girls’ shoes. Now he was able to keep from ‘wasting’ a single drop, in a relative sense. Whether or not any of this counted as wasting beer was all a matter of perspective.

“Alright, I’ll start the clock!” Raising his wrist, he took a careful look as his wristwatch and raised the other hand in the stereo’s direction. “Your thirty seconds starts… now! Go, go, go!”

The music blared, pounding into Noteworthy’s ears as the five women spun in place. Of course, he gave his casual glance to Cloud Kicker and Sea Swirl first, purely out of loyalty, but then he turned to look at the other three more properly while keeping the regulars in his peripheral vision — just in case they pulled out any interesting moves. Though he’d only seen Roseluck dance a few other times, she still had a way of moving that almost made him laugh, but that fact that she never seemed to care very nearly balanced the whole thing out. He watched her for a few seconds, nodded, and then moved on to Rarity.

And he winced. The dumb girl had no idea what she was doing up there. Though she was easily the most conventionally attractive girl, edging out Sea Swirl and Roseluck by a very narrow margin, she also clearly didn’t spend a lot of time dancing or otherwise performing in front of a crowd. Even her back was arched the wrong way, as if trying to minimize how much her tits were visible through the wet shirt. He would almost feel bad for her if this weren’t a voluntary contest; she shouldn’t have agreed to get up there if she wasn’t going to really strut her stuff. Still, he could see her pulling the sympathy vote — and the vote of those who chose based purely on how attractive the girl was, disregarding how they performed. Noteworthy hated those people. There was no point in having contestants get up and dance if they could just as easily submit a photo, in his opinion.

Sighing into his fourth beer, he turned to look at Twi, not expecting much. After all, she had seemed almost disinterested in the whole proceedings. That kind of attitude usually led to some half-hearted dance moves that didn’t impress anyone. He’d seen it a million times. Maybe she would end up taking her top off in a last-ditch effort to win the competition, even though it was against the rules.

However, he found himself decidedly blown away. Shaking her shoulders, flipping lightly-moistened hair, dropping to both knees with her hand landing on the bar between them and popping back up as if nothing had happened… she was either some kind of ringer, or just a naturally gifted performer. All the while, her breasts — which weren’t as large as some of the others, but large enough to matter unbound by a bra as they were — bounced and jiggled as she moved and undulated like a pro. Noteworthy couldn’t even find it in him to feign disinterest. He leaned forward without it being a conscious action, hoping to see more.

And he did. Spotting his sudden interest, the vixen stared right into his eyes for a second, winked a single bright purple — purple! — eye, and ran her hands over her breasts along the outside of her sopping shirt. It was a glorious sight, and he set his beer down so enthusiastically that it actually broke off in his hand.

Her hat never once fell from her head all the while.

“And time is up!” the bartender shouted, and the barback turned off the music before rushing over to clean up Noteworthy’s accidental mess, and to ask if he was okay. “Alright, those were some great moves out there, ladies — way to show off your, uh, assets!” More hoots and hollers. “Let’s start the voting!”

As he was given a fresh beer, Noteworthy sized up the contestants. Now, there were all more or less standing around the bar and waiting to see what would happen. Cloud Kicker and Sea Swirl were chatting together, and Roseluck was trying to comfort a distraught-looking Rarity. However, Twi was simply standing there, one hand on her hip and the other fiddling with the brim of her cowboy hat, chest thrust outwards as if awaiting inspection.

The decision was a bit easier than anyone expected. Cloud Kicker and Sea Swirl got their usual votes, and Roseluck did reasonably well for not having tried dancing in a while. Rarity was not given any more clapping than was due for a newbie who had performed in such a lackluster fashion; that, at least, satisfied Noteworthy’s sense of fair play. Then, of course, Twi got thunderous applause for utilising her strong points and doing it to the extreme.

“Winner by a landslide — the rambunctious Twi, everybody!” Both her arms went up and she waved her hands vigorously, both celebrating her well-earned victory and giving those who made it possible an extra after-show. “She gets all she can drink tonight, and a twenty dollar gift card to our local pizza joint! Give it up one last time!”

More cheers as the other four girls waved and descended from the stage. Rarity looked put out, but the others were only too happy to pat her on the back and tell her ‘there’s always next time’. Noteworthy wondered if there would be a next time, or if she would feel too discouraged to try again. Part of him wanted her to come back; she was beautiful, despite being a bit gunshy.

As the excitement began to wind down, Twi finally climbed down from the bar, where she began to get offers of phone numbers, or more blatant solicitations, which she politely declined. By the time she made her way to Noteworthy, he didn’t see any point in asking her; he never did. He was content to commit the women to memory and think of them later that night, when he was alone in his place.

But then something different happened. Her lips parted and she said with a heavy southern twang, “Hey, Sugarcube.”

“Me?” Mentally kicking himself, he cleared his throat and tried again. “Uh, yeah. Hey.”

“Y’all sure were watchin’ me awful close there. Care to get a girl a gee-and-tee?”

Nodding vigorously, he flagged down the bartender and put in an order, which was filled quickly enough; it was an even easier decision since he didn’t have to pay for the winner’s drinks, anyway. “You were, uh, pretty good up there. Really good for a new girl.”

“Well, thanky kindly,” she giggled, leaning against the bar and tipping the brim of her hat. Her chest was still damp, and he couldn't help glancing down at it every few seconds, drawn in by the chance to see even the outline of her shapely peaks close up. “Y’all come here often?”

“Sort of,” he admitted. “I mean, I always come here after work for a beer. This is just… a bonus once a week, I guess.”

“You guess. Well, Ahm happy to oblige.” When he didn’t answer, she eventually laughed and folded her arms over her chest. “Sure do aim to get a lot of the show than jus’ a little ‘bonus’.”

“Sorry,” he chuckled as he finally looked up into her face. He once again noticed her purple eyes, and now that the light was at the right angle, he spotted a few freckles dotting her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. “Just… yeah, they’re nice.”

“They sure are.” He raised an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes as the bartender left her gin and tonic on a thin napkin. “Ah mean, mama didn’t raise no fool; Ah know what Ah got and what Ah don’t. Might as well use what Ah can, right?”

He nodded, and she kept staring at him, as if searching through his eyes to find something in particular. When he couldn’t stand the lull in the conversation anymore, he said, “I, uh, I hope we see you in here again. Especially if you keep dancing the way you do.”

“Well, Ah don’t plan on dancin’ any other way, seein’ as Ah won this time!” They both laughed, and she leaned in and patted his cheek. “You’re sweet. What’s your name, Sugarcube?”

“Noteworthy.”

“Mm, worth rememberin’.” She grinned at her joke and took a sip of her drink, tracing her finger along the collar of his uniform. “You know, you’re the only one who ain’t offered to give me a ride home, or your phone number — and that cuss in the blue hat offered me somethin’ Ah won’t repeat,” she added in an undertone.

“Oh, yeah, well… he does that,” he signed, mildly annoyed. “You don’t get anything better out of him than that, really. Big cocksucker.”

One of her eyebrows went up. “Ooh, Ah didn’t think he swung that way! Ahm joshin’, Ahm joshin’.” Another gulp of her drink. “But you are sweet, especially… compared with those other boys.”

He was nodding, but then he began to notice she was leaning against him a little. “Yeah, I, uh… yeah. Hey, are you okay?”

“Hm? No, fine, I just… whoo-ee, is it hot in here or is it just… me?” Clearing her throat, she managed to set the drink down without knocking it over, then pressed her lips against his ear and slurred, “Can y—you get me outta here? Ah think I need some air.”

How could he resist that kind of request from such an attractive woman? Tossing a twenty dollar bill onto the counter, Noteworthy made a much earlier exit than usual after telling his darts buddy their rematch would have to be postponed.

The night air was crisp and cool, just enough to wake him up a tad and remove the slight buzz that the beers had brought. Also useful in this respect was the warm body pressed up against his side as he helped her along, trying to keep up with the way she occasionally staggered.

“Don’t… don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she giggled, fanning herself with her hat and keeping a firm hold on Noteworthy with her other hand. “Normally Ah c—can hold mah liquor, Ah swear, Ah just… tonight ain’t mah night. Well, other than this.” She waved the gift card around , and it blew out of her fingers. The strength of the wind shouldn’t have been able to do that, so it must have just meant her grip wasn’t tight enough. “Whoops! Oh well — easy come, easy go…”

“I’ll get it!” Leaning her against his own car, he went back to pick up the card. A quick swipe across his jeans and it was good as new, and he delicately stuffed it into her jeans pocket for her before he fumbled open the car door. “Okay, um… I don’t think you should be driving, and I don’t know where you’re parked… Where are you staying?”

“Around,” she sighed heavily, sagging against him. Eventually, he managed to wrangle her into the passenger seat, trying not to let his gaze linger too long on the peaks of her nipples straining against her still-damp t-shirt. But he did get her strapped in, and then climbed in himself and pulled the door closed.

“Seriously,” he prompted gently. “Where do you live? Are you in a hotel, or what?”

“Downtown,” she laughed. When he didn’t respond, she frowned at him. “Aww, you don’t have to bother with me. I’ll be… fine. Boy howdy, I’m hotter than two cats in a fur coat!”

And then, unbelievably, she flicked her hat off and started to pull her top all the way up.

Noteworthy felt his heart leap into his throat. This wasn’t possible. Nothing like this had ever happened to him — well, other than the time he walked in on one of his distant cousins changing clothes, and that had earned him a black eye and a long, long lecture. This time, Twi knew he was there and was still removing her clothing. Maybe she wasn’t sober enough to be fully conscious of her actions, but she was doing it anyway, and he was there to bear witness.

Just a few more inches…

Then then he stopped himself. She was drunk. He wanted to see this more than he wanted to find a better job and get out of this stupid ass town, but she didn’t know what she was doing. If he let it happen, he would pretty much be scum — even if temporarily-happy scum.

“Hey, y-you shouldn’t do that,” he managed to stutter.

“Do what?” she asked as she paused. When she noticed where his eyes were glued, she chuckled and slapped him on the shoulder with one hand while the other bunched her shirt up. “Awww, shucks, Ah didn’t know you was shy! Wouldn’t think it with your eyeballs glued to me in the bar before!”

“Yeah, but…” She did have a point, but it was different. How could he put this? “In there, it was part of the show. You were supposed to get wet, and not take anything off. Out here…”

Then she did take the shirt off, and he saw everything. They were perfect, everything he had ever dreamed they would be. Smooth and pert. Not the biggest he’d ever seen, but just large enough to fit comfortably in his hands… at least, he imagined they would be. They weren’t too-perfect like those ones made of artificial material, but fully authentic and breathtaking.

“Yeah,” she breathed, voice slurring but not as much as before.”You like mah girls. Know ya do.”

“Yeah,” he managed to croak somehow.

“What do you wanna do with ‘em?”

That made Noteworthy pause, and he found himself dumbfounded. He didn’t know. All his life, he’d ogled them and dreamed about them, but never actually had the opportunity to interact with a pair of actual breasts before. What should his first move be?

“Just… touch them.”

“Go right ahead, then,” she said with a tiny grin, laying back and placing her hat back on her head, tilting it forward so that it covered her eyes; almost as if she was napping. “All yours, Sugarcube. Just don’t hurt me or nothin’.”

His hand got about halfway there before her last words sank in. Don’t hurt her. Yes, he knew that she was mostly joking, and even then she meant not to literally cause her any hard. Still…

“I… I can’t.”

“You gay?”

“What?!”

She reached up and flicked the brim of her hat back so she could peer down at him. “Well, you said you can’t. If you don’t like boobs, you might be gay. Nothin’ wrong with that, o’ course.”

“I’m not gay,” he grunted in mild irritation. “I just… this doesn’t feel right with you about ten seconds from passing out. Sorry.”

“Ah am not,” she grunted right back.

Rolling his eyes, he picked up her shirt and gently placed it over her bare chest. “Sure you are.”

“What do you care, anyhow?” She broke eye contact with him to look out of the window. “Just a pair o’ boobs to you in the firs’ place.”

“That’s… not true.”

“You come in here every week to watch us get wet an’ wild,” she went on -- and while her words were harsh, her tone was more factual, as if she was simply giving a lecture instead of trying to convince him to fondle her. “Can’t wait to watch all them tiddies floppin’ around, deciding which ones is nicest. Hold one girl up as sexier, like she’s worth more’n the others ‘cuz of her tits. And now you’re actin’ like you care whether or not I’m sober enough to let you touch mine?”

Frowning, he turned forward with his hands on the wheel. She had a point. She wasn’t completely right, but of course she was right about the wet t-shirt contest being a less-than-stellar moral decision on his part. He just didn’t appreciate it being thrown back in his face when he was trying to do the right thing.

“Yeah,” she finally murmured. When he glanced at her, he saw that she was staring right back at him, like she had been for hours, eyes clear as polished amethyst. “Don’t get me wrong, you done a good thing jus’ now. Ah was… outta mah head for a second, and you tried to let me keep my dignity. But…”

“But I shouldn’t come to these kinds of things.” Chuckling harshly, Noteworthy leaned back against his seat and shut his eyes for a moment. “Maybe you’re right, but it sure does sound like bullshit coming from you, who just entered. I mean, all of you did.”

“Ah guess we did.” She paused for a moment. “Do you know why we did?”

“Well… Cloud Kicker and Sea Swirl do because they like being the regulars. How should I know why you would?”

By the time he looked back at Twi, she had pulled her shirt back on and was currently tugging her hair out of the neckhole. “Poor li’l Sea Swirl does it because her husband makes her feel about as sexy as a hunk a’ meatloaf, and she wants more. Married young, y’see, ‘cuz her daddy made her. Cloud Kicker misses her days as homecomin’ queen, and this makes her feel jus’ a li’l bit pretty. Roseluck just wants the free booze, and don’t mind using her body to get it… because she’s been taught by her mama that women gotta use the gifts God gave ‘em.”

Trying to get around the fact that, somehow, she knew all those things about the other girls, he found himself asking, “And… and Rarity?”

Only now did she frown at him sadly. “That there’s a girl with a broken heart. She feels so awful about herself right now that she’d do just about anythin’ to feel a li’l bit better. And now she feels even worse, because nopony voted for her — and Roseluck doesn’t even see the damage she did by bringing her here. Breaks mah heart to see a friend like this.”

Before he could bring himself to ask how Twi managed to call a girl she probably only met that night her friend, her smile came back, bitter instead of sweet. “But hey, them’s the breaks, right? They knew what they were signin’ up for. Just a harmless contest. Just another way to show girls they’re jus’ slabs o’ meat for men to drool over, and if they ain’t tender enough?” Her thumb jerked out of the window toward a nearby dumpster. “Well, we all know where bad meat ends up, don’t we?”

“Don’t give me all that,” he said, but his tone lacking conviction. “It’s just a stupid contest.”

“Sure it is.” When he didn’t budge again, she leaned in and kissed his cheek. “But just because the world ain’t fair doesn’t mean Ah forgot what you tried to do for me. Did do, Ah guess.”

Now he didn’t know how to react. A moment ago, she had been twisting the knife in him about even coming to see the contest, and now she was thanking him for being ‘gentlemanly’. He was so confused that he bypassed all that, putting it on the backburner to think about later.

“You… are you sure you’re okay now?” he asked.

“Reckon Ah will be. Take care of mahself pretty good, most of the time.” Patting his knee, she turned and opened the passenger door. “You got an honest heart, Noteworthy... an’ that’s a good thing. ‘Lotta people look for that inna friend, includin’ me. And if you keep treatin’ ladies like you did me jus’ now, instead of how those other boys did in the bar... you might stand a better chance, Sugarcube.”

She had just about shut the door when he said “Wait!” As she blinked at him, he tossed his spare work shirt from the back seat of his car. “You’re, uh, not dressed for this kind of weather.”

“Cold don’t bother me none,” she said with a small smile, but pulled it on all the same. “But it’s much appreciated. You take care now.” Then she was walking through the lot and down the sidewalk, holding the mostly-clean, but warm, shirt tightly around herself.

“...Oh.”

“Yeah, sorry this story has such a boring ending.” Twilight sighed as she placed the gift card for pizza in Sunset’s hand. “Probably not the results you were anticipating, but I assure you, they will have the desired effect.”

“He… really did that? Turned down the chance to… you know, test the fruit for ripeness?”

As Twilight nodded in firm confirmation, the goddess walked toward the couch — and as she did, her cowboy boots rippled and transformed into sneakers and pink-and-purple knee socks again, the jeans and Sunset’s tee above them into her usual poodle skirt and blouse with the little purple bowtie. The cowboy hat remained on her head, even though her hair shimmered back to her normal indigo shade with the pink stripe running through it.

Flopping back against the couch, she sighed and tipped the hat down over her eyes.

“You might be resistant to the idea, and I don’t blame you, but I gave him every opportunity to prove himself a complete scumbucket… and he didn’t. Maybe he’s not a perfect gentleman, but he’s at least tolerable. The ‘full treatment’ I gave Mr. Blueblood wasn’t needed for this one.”

Tossing the gift card onto her coffee table, Sunset couldn’t help but ask, “What kind of full treatment would you have given him? If he didn’t hold back like he did?”

“Well…” Again, that smile was back, with just enough of a hint of mischief that it made Sunset’s flesh break out into goosebumbs. “If I dropped the phrase ‘mammary dentata’, would that be enough?”

“Okay. Forget I asked.”

Nodding, Twilight frowned. “I’m really sorry if these results aren’t satisfactory. Do you want a do-over?”

“Nah. I mean, like you said, you gave him something to think about in the ‘breasts aren’t there for you to gawk at’ department. That’s something.”

“It is something. You know…” Then Twilight shrugged and fell silent.

“What?”

“Just wondering why you summoned me again. Though you did seem to have unfinished business, you also freaked out a lot when I first arrived. So you were kind of a toss-up; I wasn’t sure whether or not you would actually call again.”

“Hey,” Sunset began awkwardly. “This is kind of the only exciting thing that’s ever happened in my life. You really think I’d just be like ‘Okay, that was fun, now let’s never do it again’?”

Twilight’s musical laughter filled the living room as she threw her head back and clapped. “This is your idea of fun?” she finally managed to cackle. “Tormenting… oh, what’s that human term? We used to say ‘chauvinist stallion’ but that’s not even in style back home anymore…”

“Fuckboy?”

“Right, that!” Twilight nodded gleefully. “It’s hard to keep track of trends on Earth when you spend a lot of your time on another plane of existence.”

Smirking, Sunset sat down on the other end of the couch and leaned back, trying not to laugh at the goddess. It seemed unwise. “Oh, it’s always fun to fuck with a fuckboy. Nice to be able to turn that around around for a change, right?”

“Mmm.”

“That was pretty, uh… non-committal, there.”

“Was it?” Heading off Sunset’s exasperated sigh, Twilight poked her in the leg with her foot and said, “Lighten up. I’m just trying to make sure you’re getting what you want out of this little arrangement. On my end, it’s all hayfries and catsup as long as you're happy.”

It took a few seconds before Twilight’s words made contact with Sunset’s brain, and when they did, she glared hard at the goddess. “Oh, no you didn’t.”

Twilight blinked. “I didn’t what?”

“You did not just say ‘catsup’,” Sunset sneered, her eyes narrowed to slits. “Every person worth their salt says ‘ketchup’.”

The surprise in Twilight’s face shifted to bemusement, and she shot back, “Oh, yeah? Says who?”

“Says me, that’s who.”

Chuckling, Twilight shrugged. “Says the girl who probably pronounces tomato like to-mah-to.”

“Ooh!” she shivered dramatically, giving her hands a shake to add to the effect of disgust. “Don’t ever compare me to those people. Monsters.” Twilight laughed, and after a moment Sunset joined in. After they quieted, she asked the question that had been bothering her ever since Twilight returned from her ‘errand’. “By the way… what’s with that hat?”

Blinking, the goddess reached up and touched the brim of her hat with a finger. “My hat? What about it?”

“It’s just… it looks old, is all.”

“Because it is old,” Twilight said dryly. “Well spotted.”

“No, I mean… why bother creating a hat from nothing and make it look like it’s been through a dozen wars and then some? Why not make it new, like your boots and jeans?”

For a moment, Twilight looked uncomfortable, and Sunset didn’t think she would answer her. Eventually, though, she said, “Because I didn’t create if from nothing. It’s mine.”

“It’s yours?” Sunset peered at the hat. It was old, true, and the rim and corners were a bit frayed; but it was clear the hat had been cared for greatly, however… “Don’t take this the wrong way or anything… but you don’t seem the type to whip out a Stetson whenever you want.”

Slowly, Twilight plucked the hat from her head and held it to her chest, fingering the brim with slow movements. “That’s because it… actually belonged to a friend of mine. One of my best friends. A long time ago.”

“Oh.” Sunset shifted uncomfortably at her end of the couch, unsure of what to add to that. The subject of friends and ‘friendship’ seemed important to Twilight — that much Sunset gathered from their previous interactions — and she wasn’t sure just how to breach a subject like that. Seriously, how do you talk to the Goddess of Friendship about her friends? Does she make friends everywhere she goes? Or did she have to make a quota; like she had to keep making friends to stay a goddess? Or did her title just make her extra friendly? Sunset didn’t know. But what she did know was...

“She... sounds like she was a good friend.” Sunset paused, raising her hands. “Um, she was a girl, right?”

Twilight giggled. “Something like that. Girl ponies are called ‘mares’, by the way.”

“Oh. Stallions and mares, right?” When the goddess nodded, Sunset mirrored the motion. “Makes sense. Maybe you can tell me about your friends sometime?”

“I… maybe.” Twilight murmured, unsure. She chewed on her lip for a moment, and then shook her head. “Another time. For the moment, as long as you're satisfied, my work here is done.” She put the hat back on her head and grinned widely at Sunset’s thoughtful expression. “Hey, lighten up, Sugarcube!” she drawled with a rather convincing twang. “Didn’t Ah tell you? You look more depressed than ever. Anythin’ wrong?”

And there it was again; that sense of unease. The thought that something was off, or that there was something big that Twilight wasn’t telling her. Nothing bad, of course. She didn’t know how exactly, but deep down inside, Sunset could feel that Twilight would never hurt her. After all, what kind of princess and friendship goddess hurt people?

But then again, what kind of friendship goddess had no qualms about offering to hurt, or even kill, people on her behalf? She’d certainly never heard of something like that before. It was an interesting, and quite frankly confusing, puzzle that Sunset had no idea how to even begin to solve.

More on that, what would Twilight think of Sunset if they merely met in one of her classes? Would they be actual friends? Or would they not interact at all? It was impossible to know. That situation could never exist; even though she liked her and the goddess was nothing but friendly, they would always be the summoner and summoned.

Shaking her head vigorously, all Sunset said was, “Nothing, sorry. Just an overactive brain.”