The first sign that things weren’t quite right was that Trixie was the prison warden. Trixie was many things, Greengrass knew, but she wasn’t a prison warden. So this was a dream, or hallucination, or…

“Ah, we’ve been waiting for you!”

Trixie seemed to have grown a foot or two, and her cloak and hat were both a dark-ish red (and her hat had horns, which was just pretentious, Greengrass thought), but it was still clearly Lulamoon. “What is this?” demanded Greengrass.

“This? This is your punishment! Canterlot Correctional Facility. Or, as I like to call it…” She grinned. “Welcome to Pony Hell!”

Behind Trixie, the other Elements walked out into… wherever they were (it was like a long hallway, though it didn’t seem to go anywhere), and began to sing instrumental tones.

“Music? Really? Now? Can’t I get settled in first?” asked Greengrass. There was a small bottle right next to him, of bourbon, and he took it in his mouth. Maybe that would help him figure out what was happening –

Trixie’s horn glowed, and then Greengrass was falling into a boggy, brackish pool. With – he quickly found out – crocodiles. The suddenly-pouring rain didn’t help. “What’s going on?” he demanded as he floundered.

Trixie floated above him and began:

”Bourbon’s good, it’s not for villains;

Water’s so much worse, as you’ll soon tell

What a sorry fella;

Drowning to the tune of our accapella

Here on level one of Pony Hell!”

Greengrass felt himself falling again, and suddenly, he was in the Night Court council room. “Hey!”

Trixie laughed. Meanwhile, a pile of money and some legislative bills popped into existence before him.

”Bribery’s wrong and so is cheating;

Forging phony Court reports is too.

Let’s let Lady Luck decide

What sort of torture’s justified –

I’m Warden here on Level 2!”

Greengrass found himself strapped to a big roulette wheel, which Trixie spun. It stopped just before his nausea became physically painful.

“Ooh!” said Trixie. “Rainbow-dunked pony! My favorite!”

And Greengrass found himself in a skillet above a pool of liquid rainbow.  Trixie began to operate it, dunking him in the rainbow juice. Which, as it turned out, was somehow even more painful than he’d have thought.

So Greengrass demanded:

”Just tell me why!”

”Please read this fifty-five page warrant!”

”I’m sure there’s ponies worse than I!”

”We checked around, there really aren’t.”

”Then let me educate:

My crimes are normal for the Game”

”Your minions shaved off Ditzy’s mane!”

”Don’t blame me, blame the whole Court!”

Trixie grinned. ”But this is my new favorite sport!”

Greengrass found himself dumped down several more levels, before a few soldiers whose careers he had ruined. Trixie popped into existence behind him.

”Wrecking officer’s careers is wrong;

Those ponies need that income to survive!”

The other ponies began to kick at Greengrass with legs that seemed to extend without limit.

”Hey Greengrass, gonna make some noise!

With your flank black and blue from Capt. Lightning’s boys!

They kicked him several more times.

”That’s what’cha, what’cha, what’cha get on Level Five!”

From somewhere far above him, Greengrass could suddenly see two figures zipping downwards on a mysterious slide.

Notary? Flim? What kind of weird dream is this?

Flim gulped.

”I don’t feel well.”

Notary shrugged. ”It’s up to us to rescue him!”

”Maybe he’d rather rule in Hell.”

”It’s us who exposed his grave sins.”

”Maybe he’s back at a motel.”

Notary chuckled. ”Come on, Flim, don’t be scared. I’m sure at least one of us will be spared.

So just sit back; enjoy the ride!”

”My flank is blistered from the slide!”

Greengrass’s attention was brought back down by Trixie dumping him into a weird pool of slime.

”Fixing votes, blackmailing nobles,

Printing lies in phony magazines!

You’ll pay for every crime,

Knee-deep in the Smooze and slime,

Suffering till the end of time,

Enduring tortures – most of which rhyme—

Trapped forever, here in Pony Hell!”

The slime surged over his head, like it was trying to asphyxiate him, and--

Greengrass awoke with a start. He put a hoof to his head. That had been a weird dream.

“Notary?”

“Yes, sir?” Notary trotted into his room. It looked like she’d been doing paperwork. “You’ll up early. Is everything okay?”

Greengrass glanced out the window. It looked noon-ish. “Ugh. Did I eat something unusual before going to bed?”

“That pickle-habanera sandwich at Stud Poker’s party, sir. He was asking his guests to help save a pickle & habanera pepper business; it’s run by his cousin.”

Greengrass remembered. Stud would be a useful ally, but…

“Notary, regrettably, some things are beyond even my wisdom.” If he never had to deal with a nightmare like that again, it would be too soon. “Tell Stud I’m not interested, okay?”

“Yes, sir.”

Greengrass fell back on his bed. Hopefully, this time he would sleep without any crazy nightmares.

Greengrass found himself in a chain gang. Behind him, he saw Blueblood, Puissance, Fisher, and others.

And the others began to sing.

”Breaking rocks in the hot sun!

“I fought the Court and the Court won!”

Greengrass bonked his head on the boulder in front of him. This was going to be a long day.