“So what does the club do?” Dinky asked, cocking her head to the side with a hoof to her chin. “I wanna make sure I do it right.”

“We’re glad you asked!” Ivan looked on from the relaxing shade of a nearby tree, wondering when they had the chance to plan this. Considering that Dinky only ‘joined up’ yesterday night when they were split up by angry siblings, and had only just met up ten minutes ago, this defied possibility.

…unless they had somehow planned this on the chance they got a ‘new recruit’.

Applebloom had somehow whipped up a stage out of nowhere, and they managed to wiggle into costumes and put on a song and dance number on what they were and how awesome that was. Dinky watched in amazement, and burst into raucous applause when it had finished.

“Wow, that answered every question I had!”

“We hoped it would! Now we don’t have to waste valuable time recapping information that everypony should know!”

Ivan didn’t feel like pointing out that such an explanation would’ve taken five minutes tops, compared to the half hour or so of setting up and executing the impromptu concert. No matter how impressive that ingenuity was.

“So yeah, right now we’re doin’ all that by helpin’ Ivan find work.”

“How does that help?”

“When Ivan takes an odd job, we help out to see if it gets us our cutie marks! It didn’t go so well last time since he was already finished when we got there, but… Ivan gets paid and we get to cross another thing off the list!” Sweetie Belle brandished a rather long roll of paper, and it hit the ground and rolled it’s way quite a ways before stopping at Ivan’s hooves.

“Yeah, Ivan hasn’t been a crusader much longer then you. So we’re also helping him find his!”

“He doesn’t have a cutie mark?” Dinky asked, trotting up to Ivan and looking him in the (covered) eyes, studying him carefully as if it would somehow reveal every secret he had. Soon after she shrugged, not seeming to care much.

While Ivan was a little miffed at having such a thing casually handed out to the little grey unicorn, he wondered if it was naivete or a more mature way of thinking that made her react as if Scootaloo had remarked on the weather. Could’ve been both.

Dinky gave up trying to pick Ivan apart with her gaze alone and looked at the list still laid out. Ivan did as well out of idle curiosity.

“…hey.” He said, the rough sound of his voice throwing all attention on him. He poked an entry near the bottom of the list, and Dinky read it out loud.

“…farmhoof?”

“But that would be like so boring!”

“Need work. Lots on farms.” Ivan spoke from experience. Farm hands would come and go like clockwork, normally. He got to his hooves.

“Which way?”

“Oh, Ah live on that farm! I bet Applejack’d let ya help out easy! C’mon!”

Ivan slipped on his saddlebags and was just finishing pulling the strap when he noticed that Dinky had clambered onto his back.

…quite stealthily since he didn’t notice until he looked back to fasten the bags…

“You don’t mind, do you? Please?” She didn’t pout, didn’t try to coerce him with large eyes… just smiled at him bright as the sun.

Given that he barely noticed her weight, and that she wasn’t trying to manipulate him in the slightest, Ivan decided that a ride wasn’t any trouble.

“Thanks Ivan!” She said when he shrugged, and his longer strides quickly caught up with the other crusaders.

“Hey, how come she gets a ride?” Scootaloo asked, looking accusingly at the younger filly nestled between Ivan’s saddlebags.

“Asked. Polite.”

“Well can I ride too?”

“One seat. Next time.” Even with the promise, Scootaloo huffed in irritation. He wondered if she took it personally that the new recruit got the first ride.

“We’re not even that far off. Just over that hill is Sweet Apple Acres!” And sure enough, over it were more apple trees then Ivan had ever seen in his life.

Multiple varieties sectioned off in the orchard all looked as delicious as the last. He wondered idly if the hired help were allowed to take one or two on the side…

Applebloom’s older sister was already out in the fields with a large red stallion Ivan didn’t recognise.

…he silently gave Applejack a few points to her intelligence, when he caught the slight ‘hoo boy’ in her expression upon sighting the crusaders marching in her direction with a purpose. It was nice to see he wasn’t the only one to put up with their trouble on what was quickly becoming a regular basis.

“Well howdy little sister. What can I do ya for?”

“You can hire the resident superhero for starters!” Ivan shook his head in a way that plainly communicated ‘I did not tell her to say that’ Thankfully, either Applejack understood, or just assumed it was obvious.

“...Superhero?”

“Ivan here needs a job, and you totally need a farmhoof!”

“Well Ah guess an extra helpin’ hoof wouldn’t hurt much. ‘Cept his is broken.”

“Unicorn.” Ivan replied flatly.

“Oh, right. Forgot, what with the hat ‘n all.”

“Rarity didn’t tell you he’s a magical dynamo?” Sweetie Belle said sceptically. Last she heard, Rarity was talking about that ‘dashing stranger’ with any customers that came in for extended periods of time.

“Ah’ve been busy lately. Applebucking season and all. Well, how good are ya with that horn?”

“Ah bet he could grab every apple in that tree!”

“I bet he could grab every apple in three.” Scootaloo countered, turning to Applebloom. This continued for a bit while Ivan trotted over to a nearby tree and removed every apple in it with practised ease, depositing them in softly in the gathered baskets.

“Huh, not bad. Well ya can hold your own, and you’ve been lookin’ after Applebloom, so Ah guess ya can come aboard. Don’t fall behind now. We’ve got a lot of applebuckin’ ahead of us.”

“Ooh! I remember you!” Ivan almost bucked Dinky clear off his back in surprise. Directly behind him, stealthy as a ghost, Pinkie Pie had seemed to teleport right behind him. He could say teleport with real authority since the other crusaders looked as surprised as he did. And Pinkie Pie had snuck behind him undetected while the fillies were watching his back.

“Can you teach me how to do that?!” Of course Dinky thought this was just awesome, probably unaware Ivan nearly sent her right into a tree.

“Do what? Say hello? That’s like the first thing you learn! Right up there with ‘mama’ and ‘dada’! Did you forget?”

“Um…” Dinky put a hoof to her chin in deep thought about something.

“Such a silly filly, yes you are!” She cooed, poking a now giggling Dinky in the tummy with a hoof. She turned to Ivan. “So, how’s your busted leg?”

“Healing.”

“Super! I felt really bad when it got broken at my party. Really, I think the author is trying to stop you from looking too much like a Mary Sue by having horrible things happen to you all the time. Kind of mean if you ask me.” Ivan had no idea who Pinky was talking about, but he immediately hated the entity in question.

“Pinky Pie, for the last time, there is no author. Really, where did you get an idea like that?”

“Oh come on Applejack! The evidence is everywhere! If you know where to look…” She trailed off for a moment.

“Hey, do you think that me breaking the fourth wall like that is getting old? It’s pretty much in every fic ever. I don’t know what I’d do if one of my favourite things became, like, routine. Stale jokes are the worst!”

“…Tell ya what Pinky, Ah’ll give you an apple. In exchange, don’t mention ‘the author’ in front of me anymore.”

“Ooh! Healthy yummies!” Pinkie, successfully bribed, took off prancing toward the nearby hills.

“…Ah have no idea where she gets those ideas of hers… Welp, Ivan, you’d better get to work. Those apples ain’t gonna pick themselves.”

Paycheque secured, Ivan obeyed.

--

The work wasn’t that strenuous on him. To be safe, Ivan didn’t unload more the one or two trees at a time for fear he would bruise the apples in his magical grip.

The crusaders didn’t do a lot to help. Dinky never had a reason to get off his back, and at some point, decided to take a nap there. The others generally followed him around and gabbed on whatever first entered their heads. Ivan honestly didn’t pay a lot of attention unless they spoke to him.

“Alright, that’s enough for today.” Applejack said once she noticed the sun starting to dip into the horizon. “Feel like stayin’ for supper?” Ivan always felt like a free meal. He nodded.

“Right. Send the fillies home and come inside.” Applejack started back towards the house as Ivan turned back to the other crusaders.

“Well Ah live here, so I ain’t goin’ nowhere.” Applebloom said. Ivan rolled his eyes and looked to the other two.

“Yeah, we’ll go.” Said Sweetie Belle, as she turned to leave.

“Wait.” Ivan called, turning to the side to display the still snoozing Dinky.

“What about her?” Scootaloo asked.

“Take her?”

“Home you mean? Yeah sure. Just remember I get the next ride.” The pegasus replied, smirking. Ivan sighed, and nudged the sleeping unicorn.

“…mommy…?” Dinky slurred, rousing. “…huh. Where am I?”

“At the farm. Come on, it’s time to go home.” Sweetie Belle replied.

“Oh… alright.” Dinky said, jumping down. “Goo-ooaaahh…” She cut herself off with a yawn. Ivan tried not to note how adorable this was.

“…goodnight.” And she followed the other two crusaders back into town.

--

“So. This is that Ivan Hooves character you’ve been goin’ on about?” Ivan heard as he crossed the threshold.

The speaker was an aged green pony in a rocking chair.

“Sure is grams!”

“…looks a little depressin’ if ya ask me.” She said, trying to get a good look at him. “Honestly, that frown of his looks welded there. Ah bet the wind changed and it got stuck that way.”

“Grams! He saved our lives!”

“Ah don’t recall bein’ in any danger.”

“No, Ah mean me and my friends! Ah told ya about the diamond dogs!”

“Ahh, that ya did… it was nice to hear about somethin’ nice for a change. All Ah hear about is this flu goin’ round… Much obliged, colt.”

“Thanks a lot for that. Sorry Ah didn’t tell ya earlier.” Applejack chimed in as she set the table.

“Eeyup.” A large red stallion agreed. He was carrying a few dishes over to the table. “Ah’m Big Macintosh by the way.” He walked over to Ivan, offering a hoof, before retracting it awkwardly when he caught sight of the cast.

“Yer always welcome, bein’ that ya risked life and broken limb and all that.” Applejack said, seating herself next to Applebloom.

“Maybe yer not as depressin’ as ya look.” The ancient pony mused as she lumbered over. “Granny Smith, by the by. Pleased to meet ya.” Ivan nodded, removing his hat and seating himself beside Applebloom, using magic to shovel himself a slice of daisy and onion lasagne.

“…ya don’t talk much, do ya?” Applejack noted after a good while of silence. Ivan shrugged, face betraying neither annoyance or anything else at a question he probably got a lot.

“Ivan’s just like that. Nothin’ wrong with that!” Applebloom said in his defense.

“Ah never said there was. Just wonderin’ if he was skittish around strangers is all. We’re all friends here.” Ivan raised his eyebrows at that, wondering just what he’d done to earn anything like that.

“Well of course ya are.” Applebloom said, smiling up at him. “Takes a… a real gentlepony to save a bunch of little fillies in danger!”

“Probably won’t be too long ‘fore word gets round the town, and ya’ll be a local hero.” Ivan wasn’t really sure if he liked the sound of that. While it might make finding work easier while his leg healed, he wasn’t sure if he liked the idea of getting stopped on the street while people told him how awesome he was.

He also wasn’t sure how he felt about making ‘friends’ if he was planning on leaving not too far in the future. Sending more mail would detract from funds that he had to live rather tightly by.

…though, those problems didn’t seem very big right now. He was sitting at the dinner table of a family of ponies that were radiating acceptance. Acknowledgement he had earned for doing what he viewed as common courtesy.

…did that mean he deserved it? It didn’t really feel like he had gone above and beyond at all…

A minute passed as Ivan felt overwhelmed for reasons he wasn’t entirely sure of. He just wished he was wearing his hat for this.

--

You didn’t get to be as old as Granny Smith without learning how to read the young folk. Ivan though, even among her grandchildren, was an open book.

He had removed his hat before sitting at the table, a sign of good manners. Probably didn’t want to look bad in front of his employers. She was now starting to form theories as to why he wore it over his eyes. They were a lot more talkative then the pony himself.

At Applejack’s admission of friendship, and Applebloom’s praise, he seemed to retreat into himself a little. His eyes widened ever so slightly, not really in panic. More like surprise, Smith guessed. What her grandchildren had said was unexpected.

He was a drifter, she recalled hearing. She wasn’t ashamed to admit that alone had made her concerned when she had heard Applebloom and her friends were spending a lot of time recently in his company. She had crafted an image of a selfish stallion, wandering because he lacked the will to stay in one place, or lacked the personality to be welcome for very long. She expected to hear about how he had waltzed into town, used up some nice mare, and moved on. It wasn’t what she took as Celestia’s truth, but she wouldn’t have been surprised if this is what she had heard.

Instead she heard he had run to her granddaughter’s rescue, and refused any form of monetary compensation. She decided that for this at least, the mysterious Ivan deserved the benefit of the doubt, and she resolved to greet him as unbiased as she could if they crossed paths.

The stallion in front of her now was silent, and she could tell it was because he just didn’t know what else to do. He was as awkward as a foal learning how to walk. Really, he was just plain acting like a foal here. Bashful and maybe a little lost.

That was fine. Preferred really. Grandparents were good at reading foals.

“…thank you.” She barely heard the stallion say. And she chuckled. Such a silly colt that had found his way into her home…

--

“Well howdy Miss Cheerilee!” Applejack greeted as the purple mare walked up to the gate.

“Good afternoon Applejack. How are things?”

“Pretty good. We’re makin’ good time with the harvest. Hirin’ that Ivan fellow on was probably a good idea. Does what he’s told, doesn’t complain. Wish we got more farm hooves like that.”

“I had heard Ivan was here… tell me, what do you think of him exactly?”

“Well, he’s a rather silent character. Seems good for Applebloom, actually. She latched onto him right quick, her and her friends. Recently heard that he went right into Everfree to yank ‘em outta the fire. Somethin’ about an adult cockatrice.”

“…really?”

“Ya seem awful worried. Is it about the fillies hangin’ off of him?”

“Well yes… he hasn’t been here very long, and it seems like the fillies just can’t stay away from him. I was concerned at first, but now I’m wondering why exactly that is. He’s not a very social sort from what I’ve seen. Standoffish. I’d say it was the heroics, but they were apparently hanging around him before that.”

“Might be they felt guilty about the leg.”

“Ivan’s broken leg? He said it was an accident.” Applejack laughed.

“Sure as shootin’ it was. The crusaders caught sight of him before he entered town and thought he might’ave been a bad sort. Wanted to see what he was hidin’ under that hat of his. Cooked up a buncha’ schemes, but none of ‘em worked until Scootaloo decided to try and tackle it off his head and play it off as an accident. Turns out he was keeping a grip on it with magic, so when she grabbed it, it ended real messy.”

“Well I hope they apologised.”

“Oh, they did alright. Rarity even did up his clothes and saddlebags to sweeten the deal. It was after that they started hangin’ around him Ah think. So, got yer eye on him?”

“Please.” Said Cheerilee as she rolled her eyes. Why did everypony assume she was desperate for a lover? “He’s a drifter. I’m just watching after the children.”

“Understandable. Ah guess that Ah’d be investigatin’ too if he didn’t start doing hero things right out of the gates. He seems like an upstandin’ guy though. Ah guess ya could talk to him ta be sure?”

“I think I’ve interrogated him enough.”

“Come on, Ah was just headin’ over ta where him and Big Mac are takin’ a break. Ah’d welcome the company if ya’d back me up. Ah’m outnumbered by the male presence, and ya’d get a free glass of cider.”

“…couldn’t hurt.” Cheerilee conceded. If nothing else, she’d at least get a drink of the best cider around out of it. Not that she needed such a reason to indulge Applejack’s company.

The two stallions were holed up in the shade of the barn, taking long drags from a bottle of cider. Ivan had his hat off, and Cheerilee was treated to the sight of his blue eyes and sharp horn.

“So, that hat does come off.” She quipped as she and Applejack approached.

“Howdy ma’am.” Big Mac called as she approached. “What brings ya up to this neck of the woods?”

“I was in the neighbourhood. The fillies are normally either with Ivan, or at their clubhouse, so I figured I’d see how they were. Rumour has it that poor Dinky’s their newest recruit.”

“She didn’t seem so ‘poor’ when Ivan was givin’ her rides ‘round the orchard yesterday.”

“Really? He did that?”

“…Asked.” Ivan clarified, looking off to the side.

“You could’ve said no.” Cheerilee said, leaning forward to try and catch his gaze. A little teasing to loosen him up, she thought. Harmless enough.

In a moment, his hat had snapped from where it was sitting over to his head. She could see only half of his face now.

“Pressing. Why?” Alright, evidently a little teasing wasn’t so harmless.

“Calm down pard. She’s just doin’ that thing the lady folk do when a stallion does somethin’ that can be viewed as ‘adorable’. Take it in stride or they’ll have ammo to fire at ya later.”

“…Hm.” Ivan said, thinking to himself. He then reached his good hoof over to the cider bottle and took a pull from it.

“There ya go. First thing to do when ya find yourself in a hole is to stop digging.”

“…Big Mac, I’m not sure if I appreciate the way you’re slanderin’ my gender.”

“It ain’t slander if it’s true sister.” Big Mac said, chuckling. “Welp, Ah think that’s about it for us.” The red stallion drained what was left in the bottle and lumbered toward the barn entrance. Ivan followed.

“…What just happened?” Applejack asked, watching them go.

“I… I tried a bit of teasing and Big Mac might have made him completely immune. Like… in seconds.”

“…Well that’s no fun. See what I mean though? He’s harmless. Ah mean yeah, he’s pretty good with that horn of his, but if that’s grounds to suspect he’s got untoward goals, ya’d have to be wary of every unicorn in town.”

“…Alright. Fine. I accept that he’s not a bad influence on the children. Nopony who reacts like a little foal when teased is going to be a threat.”

“Well Ah’m glad ya think so. Wouldn’t do for him to sic the crusaders on ya.”

“Oh they woul-“

“Applejack.” Big Mac interrupted, having returned from wherever. “We got trouble.”

“What’s goin’ on?”

“Crop thieves.”

--

Cheerilee had followed, wanting to offer help if she could give it. They arrived at a tree with empty branches, and notably empty buckets underneath. Ivan appeared to be looking for clues.

“Find anythin’?”

“No.”

“…just one tree?” Cheerilee asked. “There’s hundreds here.”

“This is our livelihood. If somepony’s takin’ from us, and keeps doin’ it, bad things happen.”

“…are you in any financial trouble?” Cheerilee asked in concern.”

“Pfft, no. We’ve got the best apples in the whole dang world. Everypony knows it too. Really though, somepony’s stealin’ from us. Somepony’s gettin’ bucked upside the head.”

“Eeyup.” Big Mac agreed.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders Crime Scene Investigation yaaay!”

“Holy-!” From out of nowhere, four fillies had appeared wearing Sherlock Pones hats and were now turning the area upside down for leads.

“Report Ivan.” Scootaloo ordered, flipping open a notebook and waiting expectantly.

Ivan heaved a sigh and ignored her.

“Applebloom, what in tarna-“

“You’re contaminating the crime scene sis-“

“Alright, what in the moon’s goin’ on here?” Big Mac asked, effectively stopping Applebloom from shoving her sister out of the small area Sweetie Belle had just finished putting black and yellow tape around.

“We’re getting our CSI cutie marks! We’ll solve this case and make all of Ponyville a better and safer place for the public!”

“Ooh! Can I join in?”

“By Luna’s beard!” the farmmare yelled in surprise.

“Applejack, silly, Luna doesn’t have a beard!”

“Pinkie Pie, what are you doing in the tree.”

“Aha! It was you!” Dinky declared, levelling a hoof at the incriminatingly placed pink mare. Her little pipe spouted bubbles as menacingly as she could manage.

“What did I do this time?”

“Stole a tree full of apples!”

“…why can’t I remember any of this? Normally I don’t move when I sugar coma…”

“Alright, that’s about enough.” Applejack said. “Pinkie Pie wouldn’t steal from us. She just wouldn’t.”

“Well if I didn’t do it… who did?”

“Somepony who’s made a big mistake, that’s who.”

“Why can’t I find any tracks?” Scootaloo asked, scanning the ground with a magnifying glass.

“Why would the perp make tracks if nopony else here is?” Applebloom responded

“Good point…”

“Pinkie, what are ya even doin’ here?” Applejack asked, fearing the answer.

“Oh, I was on my way to visit the local OC. Not you Ivan, a different one.”

“…This is that author stuff again, isn’t it?”

“I can’t tell you. You bribed me.”

“…Right then. Next time you’re in town, could ya ask Twilight to give us a hand with this? There’s probably some spell she could find for this. Luna knows she’s got a spell for every other occasion.”

“Of course she’d know. They tell each other everything.”

“…how would ya know that?”

“I can’t tell you. You bribed me.” Applejack’s eye twitched. Everypony in the vicinity (except Pinky) took a cautious step away from her.

“…anyway, this looks like it might take a while, and I’ll be late if I stay much longer. I’ll tell Twilight you need her help next time I’m in town! Bye bye everypony!”

“Bye bye!” Dinky called, waving her hoof for all it was worth. Everypony else just stared as she pranced off.

“…well that accomplished nothin’. Right, Ah think we should get back to work. We’ll deal with this when Twilight’s available. Keep an eye out for anythin’ suspicious. We’ll talk about a night watch later.” Big Mac didn’t offer any arguments, and lumbered off. Ivan levitated the empty buckets around the robbed tree and moved on to one that hadn’t been harvested. As he was about to get back to work, something filly shaped landed on his back. He turned back to see a grinning Scootaloo.

“My turn now, right?”

“…Sure.”

“We’ll help ya keep an eye out for dirty thieves!” Applebloom said. “The nerve, stealin’ from my farm. Who’d do such a thing?”

“Somepony who’s hungry?” Dinky wondered, studying one of the apples Ivan lowered into the buckets.

“If they were hungry, wouldn’t they just buy the apples? Unless they have no money?” Sweetie Belle mused. “Does that mean you were hit by a bunch of hobo thieves?”

“Could be. But the only hobo around here is Ivan.” Applebloom answered, bucking a nearby tree. Not a single apple budged. The earth pony pouted.

“Maybe it’s only one pony?” Sweetie Belle asked. “I mean, there was only one tree hit, right? If there were more then one pony, why would they hit one tree?” Ivan stopped for a moment, raising an eyebrow at this uncommon show of common sense.

“You might be onto something Sweetie!”

“Really?! Quick, check my flank!” Well, Ivan mused, it was nice while it lasted.

“Nothin’.”

“Aw ponyfeathers.”

“Helping Ivan?” Cheerilee asked as she wandered onto the scene.

“Where’d ya go Miss Cheerilee?”

“Applejack promised me some cider when I came over in the first place. I felt like getting that before she forgot. How’s the farm hand work?”

“Simple.” Ivan said, focusing on the task at hand.

“…that leg of yours giving you any trouble?”

“No.”

“…Do you not like me?” That got Ivan’s attention. He turned, waiting for an explanation.

“Well, you don’t really say much. It feels like you’re waiting for me to go away.”

“Aw shucks Miss Cheerilee, that’s just the way Ivan is! Don’t mean he doesn’t care.” Applebloom answered.

“He talks to everypony that way. If he didn’t care about us though, he probably wouldn’t have charged into that forest after us.” Sweetie Belle added. “Really helped save our butts. And that was like, the second time!” Ivan couldn’t help but wonder how many times they were going to mention that.

Shouldn’t foals be repressing traumatic memories?

“Started giving us rides too.” Scootaloo said from his back. “This sure beats walking.”

“Fly then.” Ivan deadpanned as he unloaded another tree.

“That’d require effort. Dinky had the right idea, I could nap up here and get to where I’m going.”

Ivan sighed. Cheerilee stifled a laugh.

“So you’re just going to do this all day until the harvest is done?”

“Eeyup.” Ivan answered, working another tree. Cheerilee couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“Made a friend, have you?”

“Sure.”

“He’s a good stallion.”

“Mm.”

…this was going nowhere, Cheerilee decided.

“…I want to apologise.”

“Mm?”

“I think I attacked you a little when I first met you. Verbally. Passive aggressively. You get it.”

“Yes.” Ivan agreed.

“You attacked him?!”

“No, Dinky, that’s not what I meant. I treated him… a little rudely. Pressed, as Ivan mentioned to me earlier.”

“Why’d you do that?” The grey unicorn asked, tilting her head in confusion.

“Because several little fillies were hanging around a strange stallion dressed in a long coat that nopony had ever seen before. You’ll understand when you’re older, but those things don’t typically end well.”

“Ooooh…”

Ivan raised an eyebrow at her explanation, and supposed that yes, a stranger hanging around with a bunch of kids all day, against his will or not, was probably quite suspicious looking.

The sort of thing that would have Colt Hansen trot in and tell him to have a seat over there.

…Perhaps establishing himself with general acts of unselfish heroism was a good thing.

“Accepted.” Ivan said.

“Oh, that’s good.”

“Clean slate?”

“That’s also good.” Ivan nodded. Then returned to work.

“So why are a set of fillies hanging around you?”

“Beats me.” Ivan answered. “Interesting?”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” The teacher answered with a slight giggle. She smiled mischievously, and said; “Might it have anything to do with that cast of yours?”

“We’re gonna help him get better!” Applebloom cut in quickly. “There might be a cutie mark in there somewhere…”

“…Hm.” Cheerilee pretended to accept, but Ivan could see she was amused by something.

She probably talked to Applejack. She probably knew why his leg was broken. Since she wasn’t making a huge deal about it though, it was probably fine.

…good thing too. Three of the crusaders would probably make a lot of noise if she decided to attack them about it.

“…Don’t care.” Ivan said.

“Oh?”

“Will heal.”

“I know a lot of ponies that would be much angrier then this about a broken limb.”

“Different then.”

“Yes… I suppose you are.” Cheerilee agreed. Most of the conversation from that point onward was Cheerliee making small talk with the fillies while Ivan worked.

It was a happy atmosphere, and time seemed to pass quickly.

--

“…looks like Scootaloo did decide to take a nap. Is your back really that comfortable?”

“Never tried.”

“Oh, I’m glad you didn’t say that in front of Pinkie Pie. The tangent she would’ve went off on… Wonderful mare though.”

The sun was setting, and Ivan’s horn was starting to ache a bit from the constant use it had seen that day. Looking out over the trees he had harvested, he couldn’t help but feel good about how much he had managed to get done, despite the constant distraction from his entourage.

Not that he was complaining. Cheerilee had managed to keep the crusaders occupied for the most part, so they hadn’t stuck their hooves in anything life threatening. Or dangerous in any way. Really that’s all he could ask for.

…he wondered idly if keeping them safe was a full time job. Did that make today a day off?

“I think it’s about time for everypony to go home.” Cheerilee said in her ‘teacher’ tone.

“Ah am home though.”

“There are still three fillies who aren’t. Ivan, do you know where Scootaloo lives?”

“Yes.”

“Oh good. I had better come with you anyway though. Playpen gets a bit protective of his charges. He’s the stallion who runs the orphanage.”

“Let’s go.” Ivan said. The other two fillies followed him without an argument, and Cheerilee found herself wishing she could do that as easily.

“Rarity’s boutique is closest. We’ll start there.”

--

Ivan managed to find out where Dinky lived, and filed the information away for later. Celestia knew that he’d probably have to stop by to ask Ditzy to kick another monster in the face.

…he was somewhat glad the mailmare was on their side.

When he and the teacher arrived at the orphanage, he tried to nudge Scootaloo awake, only for her to mumble in her sleep and snuggle into his neck.

…and by the smirk on Cheerilee’s face, she was resisting the urge to say all sorts of things.

“If you lift her onto my back, I’ll take her in.” She offered instead. Thankfully, the pegasus didn’t have a strong grip around his throat, so the transition was easy.

The green glow of his magic hadn’t even faded before Cheerliee found herself the same victim of Scootaloo’s unknowing affection.

“I almost wish she was like this when she was awake. Such a rambunctious little thing…” She said fondly as she walked up to the door.

She was a little surprised to note that Ivan had waited for her.

“Are you going to escort me home?”

Ivan shrugged. “Sure.”

Cheerilee smiled. “This way.”

The moon had risen by that point. Ivan found himself liking the feeling of walking through a world where everypony was sleeping. Normally he hadn’t had much of a reason to walk around at night before this.

“You’ll be leaving after that leg heals?”

“Yes.”

“That’s too bad. The fillies seem to really like you.” Ivan didn’t respond to that.

“Where are you staying Ivan?” Cheerilee asked when they had reached her house.

“Barn.”

“…really?”

“Big Mac offered.”

“Where were you before that?”

“Under tree.”

“You’ve been sleeping outside this whole time?”

“Yes.”

“Well what if it rains?” Ivan shrugged.

“…If it starts to rain, you can come here.” She found herself offering. “I have a spare bedroom for visitors.”

Ivan’s head tilted a bit, and Cheerilee wondered if his eyes had widened under his brim. He definitely hadn’t expected that.

“You’re taking care of Ponyville’s children, whether you want to or not. You should get some thanks for it.”

“…Thank you.” He said, turning his gaze away from her. She found herself wishing she could take that hat off so she could see what he was trying to hide, but she supposed that would be like taking the security blanket from a foal.

How long have you been hiding like this? What are you scared of?

“Well, goodnight then. You’ve got a lot of work ahead of you, so I shouldn’t keep you up.”

Ivan shrugged. “Nightwatch.” He said, but turned to leave anyway. All that meant was that his work just wasn’t over.

“Goodnight.” He said, nodding politely at the schoolteacher before starting back to Sweet Apple Acres.

--

When he had returned, he volunteered for first watch. He was also informed that he would get a few extra bits for the service, which he gratefully accepted.

Walking amongst the appletrees, he wished he could cast a sensory spell. He didn’t like the possibility of letting the thief pass under his radar.

He found himself, not for the first time, cursing his special talent.

His musings were interrupted by the sound of a snapping twig nearby, and he stopped, glad he was wearing black. Chances were he could sneak up on the thief himself. He slowly removed his hat and uncovered his horn, trying to place where he had heard the noise.

“Augh! Blast it…” Whoever it was, wasn’t a very good thief. All the better.

He crept closer, coming upon a pony trying to climb into a full apple tree with little success. He ran through his limited repertoire of spells for something that wouldn’t outright kill the intruder, and settled on projection. A spectral green club formed out of nothing near his horn, and he threw it forward to bludgeon the hapless pony.

Sadly, the pony avoided the attack by accidentally tumbling out of the tree at the precise moment.

By the light cast from Ivan’s magic, he could see the thief quite clearly. An adult earth pony, stark white in body and extremely unkempt mane. He wore a long coat as white as he was, covering his cutie mark. He looked up into the light and froze at the sight of Ivan.

“…I can explain.” He said, red eyes wide behind a pair of thick spectacles. Being a reasonable sort, Ivan waited.

Then the mystery pony turned tail and ran. Ivan said several unflattering things about the thief’s parentage under his breath as he gave chase.

The broken leg slowed him up quite a bit, though on the bright side, the thief seemed incredibly unfit. Ivan couldn’t fire anything harmful for fear of hurting the trees they were weaving through, and the pony kept stumbling out of the path of Ivan’s club.

Finally, they cleared the trees, but the thief had gained a lot of ground. And parked on the nearby road was a patchwork vehicle of some kind loaded down with apples. Since the pony hopped in and started fiddling with it, he probably expected it to move.

So Ivan did what he did best, and aimed his horn.

The explosion was deafening, but the pony’s unnatural luck held, and the vehicle lurched forward out of harm’s way. Worse, the pony was driving like he was drunk off his flanks, and the other shots Ivan fired missed.

At the speed the thief was going, Ivan simply didn’t stand a chance at catching him at this rate. He sighed, at least knowing that the thief wouldn’t be back for a while.

…he then mentally kicked himself wondering why he didn’t just attempt to lift the vehicle altogether.

“Ivan, what the hay?!” Applejack said, galloping full tilt towards him. Big Macintosh wasn’t far behind. “Ah heard that clear from the house! Scared my socks clear off!”

“Socks?”

“…nevermind that. What happened?”

“Thief.” Ivan said, gesturing to the distant vehicle.

“…that’s awfully fast…”

“Another tree?” Big Mac asked.

“Mm.”

“Shoot. Well Ah hope ya at least scared him good.”

“Yes.” Ivan replied, resisting the urge to smirk. He remembered the way the thief was praying to the heavenly princesses as he ran. That thief was terrified.

“He won’t be back tonight then. Let’s head back for some shuteye. We’ll talk about this in the mornin’.”

“Well on the bright side, yer watch was cut short, and we can just sleep clear to the next day.”

“Applebloom, what are ya doin’ up? Ah told ya to go back to sleep!” Applejack scolded, rounding on the filly that had apparently snuck out.

“It’s my farm too! Why can’t Ah protect the homestead?”

“Yer too little. If we’re dealin’ with a hardened criminal, yer likely to get hurt.”

“Ah can take care of myself!”

“Yer recent track record suggests otherwise.”

“But this is a pony! Not some kinda crazy dangerous monster!”

“Ponies can be plenty dangerous. Especially to little colts and fillies that think they know better. Now, back to the house. This conversation is over.”

Applebloom was obviously holding back some incredible outburst. Eyes watering, face red, she turned and dashed back toward the house.

“…she’ll be sore ‘bout that for a while.” Big Mac mused.

“Will she ever. Ah’m surprised she didn’t try and get Ivan on her side.”

“She might’ve if ya didn’t ‘end the conversation’ there. Ya alright there Ivan?”

“Fine.”

“Right. Let’s head back then.”

--

“Well, at least the criminal left us a convenient set of tracks to follow. Mighty nice of ‘em.” Applejack said the next morning.

Whatever the criminal had driven off in left tracks in it’s wake, now very visible in the daylight.

Ivan, glad that he didn’t have to follow a set of tracks into a forest that would apparently try and kill him for a change, set off down the trail, Applejack and Big Mac in tow.

“Oh, Ivan, ‘fore I forget, did ya see Applebloom at all this mornin’?”

“No.” Ivan answered, already seeing where this was going.

“Well it’s possible that she just went somewhere to blow off some steam from last night. Sleepin’ on that can’t have been good.” Big Mac considered for a moment. Then he said what everypony was thinking.

“Course, it’s also possible that she’s gone to try and catch the thief on her own.”

“Most likely, yeah.”

“Buck.” Spat Ivan.

“We appreciate ya comin’ along Ivan. We really do.” Applejack said in a somewhat placating manner. Big Mac chuckled.

“Gotta wonder though. All this stuff apparently started happenin’ when ya rolled into town. Gotta wonder if yer cursed or somethin’.”

“Pinkie Pie’d blame that author thing.”

“Might do to blame somethin’. If this is somepony’s idea of a joke…”

“Well, don’t you worry Ivan. If we do find Applebloom out here, ya can bet yer flank she’ll be grounded for the rest of the buckin’ season. With her indoors and you out in the fields, and the fillies probably on ya like Spike on Rarity, trouble won’t find ya unless it comes lookin’.”

“Jinxed.” Ivan deadpanned, hanging his head.

“…now ya might be right there…”

--

Applejack laying into her the way she did, Big Mac and Ivan not saying a word…

Did nopony remember the Zecora incident? She could take care of herself Luna darn it!

Oh she’d show them. She’d show them all.

And get some kind of crazy wicked awesome cutie mark out of it to boot!

Her apologies went out to her comrades, but this was a matter of family. This would be a solo mission.

The thief probably expected her to follow the tracks, but she was two or maybe four and a half steps ahead of him! She went off the road and snuck up by way of the bushes. Nopony would see her coming until it was too late.

“Hello!”

Applebloom screamed.

--

…and her siblings and Ivan heard it from quite far off. Applebloom had one heck of a set of lungs in her.

“Motherbucker.” Applejack growled. Ivan agreed. The three took off at a run down the road, soon coming to a small plot of trees.

The orange pony ran in first, tripped a wire, and was slammed in the face with a swinging log.

She landed in an undignified heap at the feet of the two stallions.

“Applejack, ya alright?” Big Mac asked, tugging her sister to her hooves.

“Awww, Rarity, c’mere an’ give ush shome sugar…” Big Mac and Ivan exchanged glances, decided there were much more important things to worry about, and the red stallion gave her a slap across the face.

“Hooo, good glory Ah needed that. Much obliged brother.”

“No problem.”

“Trapped.” Ivan stated, examining the log.

“…so it is. Any ideas?” Big Mac asked.

“Yes.” Ivan said as he removed his hat. A large green shape appeared in front of them, resembling the cowcatcher of a train.

“…Ah like yer style Ivan.” Applejack said. “Now let’s run!”

To Ivan’s credit, it worked for a good minute or so. Then the ground gave way and they fell into a well dug pit. Thankfully, Ivan landed on Big Mac and avoided breaking anything else.

“…well this is a fine kettle of fish. Ivan, got a magical solution for this?”

“Yes.” A green platform began to elevate them out.

“…huh. Didn’t expect that. Alright, do that wall thing again. Applebloom needs us.” Tripping another wire caused a tennis ball launcher to shoot up from somewhere unseen behind them. Well, it didn’t look like any tennis ball launcher that Ivan had ever seen, but it shot tennis balls. Hard. Ivan crafted another shield before they got too many bruises.

“Alright. This is startin’ to tick me off.”

“Keep runnin’!”

--

“Hey, professor, what is this even gonna be?”

“…You know, I haven’t the foggiest. What do yo-“

The door exploded inwards to reveal a bruised, beaten, somewhat singed, and immensely pissed trio of ponies.

“…Oh by the sun, now I have to set all those traps agai- …oh dear…” The thief trailed off as he recognised Ivan, and remembered the explosive death he was flinging at him just the other night. The other two ponies didn’t look too happy either.

“If ya don’t give me back my sister Ah will take yer head and buck it clear t-“

“Hiya Applejack!”

“Not now Pinkie Pie, I really need to-…” Her head slowly turned to face Pinkie Pie, standing there grinning as if nothing was wrong.

Applebloom was there too, looking at her livid sister with wide eyed shock.

“…What the buck.”

“…Ah think everypony has some explainin’ to do.” Big Mac said, turning a toppled chair back on it’s legs and settling down on it.

“…One thing. Ivan, this is the thief, right?” Applejack asked.

“Yes.”

“Good. We’ll start here. Explain yerself ‘fore I get angry.”

“Ah, right, I-I-I’m P-Professor Jerryrig. A-and you a-a-are?”

“Not in the mood. Why did ya steal two trees of apples, why is my sister here, and why is Pinkie Pie.”

“Why… is Pinkie pie what?”

“No, just… Why. Is. She.”

“Oh, Professor Jerryrig is a good friend of mine Applejack! He’s the one who made me my copter-bike!”

“…ya know, Ah always wondered ‘bout that…”

“The apples?” Big Mac pressed, narrowing his eyes at the trembling pony.

“I… was hungry, and your apples were just right there and I didn’t think you would miss so few!”

“If yer hungry, ya take a snack. Ya took two trees worth.”

“Putting some aside for a rainy day? I don’t really leave very of-DON’T TOUCH-“ He suddenly shouted at the sound of a rather large buzzer and the flash of a bright red light. He bounded to where Applebloom was fiddling with something on a work-bench.

“…the sides…” He finished, exhaling in relief.

“…How many are left?” Applejack asked, driving the conversation back on topic.

“Nearly all of them…”

“Cart ‘em back. And yer gonna work off the ones ya ate.”

“B-b-but-“

“Either that, or my friend Ivan gets to show ya just how much he liked yer traps.” Ivan, personally, looked geared to blow the whole house sky high.

“Er… right…”

“Then we’re gonna talk about how ya can pay off any more ya want.”

“…what?”

“If ya need food, we’ve got some to spare. Gotta work for it though. What’s yer special talent?”

“Oh!” The professor pulled up his coat revealing a set of mis-matched gears on his flank. “As you can see, I’m quite good at building things. I’m an inventor you see, and quite a brilliant one!”

“He totally made my copter-bike! He’s also got this bus in the back of the place, and-“

“Wait, busses have already been invented.”

“This bus is like, five busses though! A super bus!”

“…hang on, Pinkie, why didn’t ya tell me ‘bout this guy when the apples went missing?”

“I didn’t suspect him! We’re friends after all! Also I’m very disapoint.”

“I p-p-p-promise not to d-do it again…” Pinkie’s eyes narrowed, and Jerryrig feared for his life.

“…Pinkie promise.”

“C-c-cross my heart, hope to fly, stick… it was ‘cupcake’, wasn’t it?”

As the professor stumbled through the unorthodox verbal contract, Ivan turned to Big Mac with a raised eyebrow. The other stallion, still seated comfortably, raised both hooves in the universal ‘I have no idea’ gesture.

“Well now that’s over with. Ya can fix stuff, right?” Applejack asked. The timid ‘professor’ (there was no degree that anypony could see displayed anywhere) puffed himself up.

“Certainly. You’ll find nopony better with a toolbox in all of Equestria!”

“Good. We could use a handypony to tune up a few things ‘round the farm. The barn’s roof’s got a bit of a leak for starters…”

--

“Oh, Applebloom.” Applejack said offhoofedly as they all walked back. “Yer grounded ‘till the end of the harvest.”

“But why?!”

“Because ya went off on yer own to track down a thief that nopony knew anythin’ about. Ya coulda been hurt, or worse. I’m just thankful that it turned out to be that… odd stallion who was the culprit.”

“But nothin’ bad happened! And now we got cheap labour for the farm!”

“The path here was trapped, and we had to rush it because we thought ya were hurt. We had to deal with swinging logs, pitfalls, tennisball launchers, catapults, arrows, and a flamethrower. If Ivan didn’t have shields to throw up, we would’ve been in bad shape.”

“How was Ah supposed to know there were traps everywhere?!”

“Ya didn’t!” Applejack yelled, temper finally snapping. Big Mac stealthily lead Ivan away from the blast radius as the orange mare let her sister have it.

“Ya didn’t know a blighted thing! Ya didn’t know if it was dangerous, what we were lookin’ for, who or what we were dealin’ with, nothin’! If ya didn’t skip out on the main path, you woulda hit all those traps on yer own, and we woulda found ya at the bottom of a pit, or worse!”

“Bu-“

“And what if the thief was dangerous!? What if it was some strong mean pony that saw a little filly out in the middle of nowhere and decided somepony’d be willin’ to pay to have her back!? Bad things happen when foals go out on their own! Did ya forget what happened in Everfree Forest already?! It was three days ago!”

“Ah…”

“Ah’d walk through fire for ya Applebloom, never think Ah wouldn’t. But ya should have more sense then to start the fire Ah have to walk through. Yer smarter then this Applebloom. Ah know ya are.”

“…Ah’m… sorry sis…”

“So yer grounded. Ya can still hang around Ivan while he’s workin’ since it’s on the farm, but ya can’t leave the property, or go to yer clubhouse. Not until the harvest’s over. Understand?”

“…yeah…”

“Good. Now come on. Ah feel like a cider. Ah just want ta forget today happened.” Applejack turned and cantered to where Big Mac and Ivan were waiting farther up the road.

Applebloom took a moment to dry her tears before running up after them. She didn’t want Ivan to see her cry.

--

Dinner eventually came, and Granny Smith surprised everypony by hobbling over and giving Ivan a quick hug when she heard that he had done his best to keep her grandchildren safe.

Applebloom promptly got her ears boxed. Strangely, she didn’t raise much of a fuss afterwards.

Soon after, Applejack noticed the scribbles on Ivan’s cast and it didn’t take long for the unicorn’s pen to get passed around again.

The meal after that was a quiet affair, save for Applebloom talking about all the weird gadgets and machines that Jerryrig had all over his workshop. Applejack started taking note of all the things they could put the tinker up to for the next day, and the two stallions talked about nothing until Ivan decided to turn in early.

He sighed in relief as he settled into a comfortable pile of hay, looking forward to the quiet days ahead, and making a note to visit Rarity for repairs to his coat. On the Apple family’s coin, to be paid back by Jerryrig later, of course.

--

Swing by the farm whenever you’re in the area. We’ll have a space open at the table for you.

-Applejack

I owe you one. Good luck, friend.

-Big Macintosh

Look happier colt. You deserve that much.

-Granny Smith