What was I thinking?

There’s nothing down there!

Go back. Go back. Go back!

No! She swam. Down. Into the depths. Into the darkness. Her frantic heartbeats would not dissuade her!

“You’re pathetic, Celestia. Look at you, running away from your problems. You should be facing them, facing me. But no, you’d rather risk everything on some nonsense feeling that everything will go right if you just take the path that makes no sense!”

Gritting her teeth, she ignored the taunting. She had to go deeper. Even as her heart pounded, it sang for that which called for it. Her destination needed her as much as she needed it! She didn’t think about her tormentor, would not succumb to the strain in her lungs. Her every ounce of dwindling energy would be spent on the goal, as mysterious as it was.

“What goal? Death? Will you be a martyr? That’s just like you, to try to make yourself out to be so special!”

The voice… it was changing. Lighter, but still with a hard edge to it. Young.

Familiar.

“What will all your precious ponies do when they find out you killed yourself over—" an emotion, a niggling feeling that you just couldn’t ignore?

It was more than that. It had to be! Though her lungs began to burn, Celestia refused to acknowledge her need for air. There were things far more important. It was within reach, it had to be!

You will never know, because you’re going to get yourself killed. Drowned like a stupid rat! Is that all you are, Celestia? Vermin too dumb to know when to head for shore?

If only she could identify that voice…

Why do you keep swimming? Why? Do you not want to live?

Of course she did. But she had responsibilities. She had to find it. She had to ignore the fire in her lungs. Keep swimming. Down. Deeper. Farther. It was there, she knew it!

You don’t even know what it is! What if it’s nothing? And who are you to speak of responsibilities? You had a responsibility, and you blew it! But it never occurred to you that the great and wise Celestia could fail, did it?

She… could fail. She’d failed before. It might happen again. Here. Now. But she was so close!

It will. I can feel your lungs. They’re going to burst soon. You will die if you don’t turn back now. Turn back, Celestia. Turn back and admit your failure!

No. She’d never turn back. Not to that. Never to that! Her mind begged for air, but she kept going deeper. Even if she failed.

Even if she died.

And you will. You’re going to die. And for what? You’re worthless.

By the Gods, her chest could take no more! The air burst from her mouth, bubbles swirling before her eyes on their way to freedom. Her heart throbbed as black water invaded her throat. She kicked and fought and kept going down, down, down before it was too late!

Far too late.

She’d never make it back to the surface.

I can get you back. Let me save you.

Her head and her lungs agreed. They screamed at her for mercy, for pity, working to lock her thrashing limbs.

She would not yield! This was ending on her terms.

You… You stupid pony! Will you not accept my help even for this?

Temptation gnawed at her, but she slapped it down with another thrust of her trembling wings. Its help could only lead to lies. Even if she never reached the truth…

Truth? You want truth? You’re a stupid bitch, and you’re going to die! How’s that for truth?

Her body concurred. She ached all over. Every beat of her wings was a struggle, a desperate fight. Her legs felt like they were pushing against molasses. Down. More. Just a little more! Surely. Her body couldn’t fail her now!

Nopony will remember you. Nopony will care. And why should they?

A little more…

I hate you.

The darkness was growing. Just a little more…

You deserve it.

Keep swimming…

I can still save you. Just give up.

Down…

Give up.

She really was going to die.

Give up.

But she would never go back.

Give up!

One more stroke. One more kick.

Please, give up!

The world twisted.