A warm early evening light was beaming down upon the city of Canterlot as Luna prepared for her nightly duties. After a quick stretch and the donning of her royal garb, she started to make her way to the door.

Just before she reached the towering doorway, she spotted something upon her dresser. It was her calendar with a large red circle with the words ‘Celestia’s Birthday’ written within, only a week away from the present day.

This will be a most special birthday for her, Luna thought to herself as she made her way through the halls of the palace to meet with her sister. After what she did for my birthday, she deserves something truly grand.

The dark blue mare pondered as she trotted forward, eventually reaching Celestia’s room.

The question is, ‘What should I get her?’, or better yet, ‘What should I do for her?’ The night princess gently nosed open the sun-emblazoned door, making her way inside where she spotted her sister on the balcony, gazing out towards the lowering sun.

“Good evening, Luna,” the alabaster alicorn said softly as the younger mare came up to her side. Celestia leaned in close to nuzzle the smaller alicorn. “Are you ready for you nightly duties?”

“As always, dear sister,” Luna merrily answered as she returned the nuzzle. After a brief bout of their exceptionally powerful magic, the sun sunk below the horizon while the moon ascended skyward.

“Well Luna, I hope you have a good night tonight,” the sun princess said as she strolled into her room, taking a seat on a cushion near her unlit fireplace. “At least you didn’t have to deal with the prime minister of Woolachia.”

“Yes, that’s one ram who refused to lead anywhere.” Luna tittered, drawing a chuckle for her elder sister. The younger princess began to canter over to the door, but paused before she placed her hoof on the knob. “Sister…” She looked back over her shoulder, seeing Celestia had brought a book up to her eyes.

“Yes, Luna?” Celestia began to rise from her cushion, only for her sister to casually wave.

“Nothing.” Luna forced a smile as she rubbed the back of her neck. “I was simply wondering…” Think, Luna. Do not make it sound like you have no idea what you’re doing here. She mentally chided herself before nervously gulping. “Is there anything you’d like for your birthday?”

“Oh, that?” Celestia replied casually as she sank back into the cushion. “Honestly, anything you do for it will be wonderful, Luna; no matter what.”

“Really, Sister?” Luna’s eyebrow rose as Celestia placed a hoof to her chin.

“Well…” the elder mare singsonged, making Luna raise her hoof to interrupt.

“Let me guess, a large cake?” the mare of midnight smirked as she saw the last vestiges of Celestia’s restraint start to crumble.

“You know me all too well, sister.” The snow white mare chuckled as she leaned into her cushion, raising her book up once more. “At any rate, I hope you have a pleasant night.”

“As do you, Celestia,” the younger replied as she stepped out of the room, taking a deep breath.

As she trotted down the halls, she kept up a pleasant smile, making all those she passed assume her night was going rather swimmingly. In her mind, however…

Faust curse it! That gave me no idea what to do for her! She wants a big cake, what a surprise!

Reaching the throne room doors, two night guards opened the way for her and she strolled inside.

“Thank you, my guards” Luna said once she’d walked by them, the pair silently nodded in response.

After a brief trip up the dais, Luna took her place on the throne to handle night court as Raven quickly took to her side with a clipboard in her magic.

“Raven,” Luna kept her eyes trained forward. “What have we scheduled for tonight?”

The bespectacled mare’s eyes quickly scanned over the clipboard and papers. “Well, Short Circuit and Hotwire of the science division had to cancel at the last moment due to food poisoning. We could send in Ms. Quickshot for her appointment early if you so choose.”

Luna rubbed her chin ponderously. “Before we do that, there’s something I would like to ask you.”

“And what would that be, Princess?” the snowy unicorn inquired, pushing her glasses up as she tilted her head.

“My knowledge of how modern ponies celebrate the birthdays of adult friends and family is rather limited.” Luna leaned closer to her assistant, making the smaller mare start to sweat. “Mayhaps you could provide some suggestions for what I could do for my sister’s coming birthday.”

“Y-yes, well…” Raven swallowed hard as she tugged at her cravat, mind running a mile-a-minute to try and think up an appropriate response. After several seconds of thought, she gave her reply. “The last time I went to a birthday party, we got a stallion to pop out of the top of the cake.”

“A stallion within a cake?” The princess’s eyebrow cocked in perplexment. “Why would one do something like that? Wouldn’t it ruin the cake? And how does the stallion survive the baking?”

“Well your highness, the cake has a hollow area in the middle,” Raven answered as she tried to straighten out her cravat and glasses. “The stallion gets inside after the cake is baked.”

“I see.” Luna nodded as she took in the information. “But why would one want a stallion in their cake?”

“Your highness, the stallion in the cake is usually…” A bright crimson spread across Raven’s face as her eyes fell to the floor. “A stripper… or an erotic dancer…”

“Ahh! I see!” Luna’s eyes shined like stars as a large smile graced her face. Celestia’s always had a healthy appreciation for the male form. This and cake will make a wonderful gift for her! “Raven, after tonight’s business has concluded, I would like for you to arrange a meeting for such a stallion. I now know what to give Celestia for her birthday.”

“Very well, your highness.” Raven quickly scribbled down a note upon her clipboard. “Should I send Ms. Quickshot in?”

“Yes please.” Luna answered, nodding merrily. As Raven descended the steps of the dais, Luna giddily rubbed her hooves together.

This is perfect! This will be a gift Celestia will never forget! Nothing could go wrong!

“What do you mean you couldn’t find a stripper for this?!” Luna shouted as she sat slack upon the throne, making the white unicorn flinch.

“I’m sorry, your highness; but all the professional organizations that normally provide this kind of service are all fully booked.” Raven swallowed as she took a slow step back.

“This is unbelievable…” Luna sighed and rubbed her temples. “Sorry for shouting at you, Raven. Are you sure they’re all booked?”

“Yes Ma’am, I was very thorough in my search.” Raven shifted her glasses and she went through a list on her clipboard. “Super Studs, Fine Flanks, Bananas, they’re all fully booked for the next month. However, I was able to find a stallion amongst the palace staff that would be willing to take the job.”

“You have?” A smile spread across her face, her mind thinking of the possibilities.

This is great! This stallion’s likely one of our more attractive guards. Maybe we can count this as an on duty assignment and save a few bits.

“Raven, may we please see this stallion?” Luna eagerly rubbed her hooves together and bounced in her seat.

“Of course, Princess.” The pale mare nodded before darting down to the throne rooms towering doors. Sticking her head outside, she said something Luna could not hear before returning to the throne nervously. “Princess Luna, allow me to introduce our volunteer.” She sweat bullets as she gestured toward the door grandly.

The doors slowly parted and a nervous looking stallion made his way into the room, taking his place at the bottom of the dais. Luna was stunned at the sight of him.

Is this stallion really the best Raven could find?

The freckled stallion before the pair was fairly young and shorter in stature than even Raven. His coat was a dark shade of green with a dirt brown mane and tail. The thing that stuck out the most about him was the white muzzle that sharply contrasted the rest of him. Secured snugly upon his shoulders was a lime green vest, indicating he was one of the gardening staff.

Luna let out a tired sigh before slapping her frog against her forehead, much to the stallion’s chagrin.

“Raven,” the midnight blue alicorn whispered to her aid. “Were there seriously no other stallions on staff who’d volunteer for this?”

“I’m afraid not, Princess,” Raven whispered her reply into the royal ear. “Every other stallion had some form of objection to this, ranging from finding it degrading to simply not feeling comfortable about this.”

“I guess he’ll have to do,” the princess sighed as she rose from the throne. “Tell me, what is your name, stallion?”

“V-V-Verdant Range, your highness.” He nervously stepped back as Luna descended the steps.

“Verdant Range,” Luna’s stare felt soul-piercing to the stallion as she grew ever closer. “Why did you volunteer for this while the rest of the staff turned this down?”

“Ms. Raven said that she needed somepony to serve a task for one of the royals.” Verdant gulped as Luna reached the bottom of the steps, towering over the shaking stallion; the top of his head barely reaching her neck. “Since nopony else volunteered, I felt it was my duty to do so to serve the crown.”

“Hmm…” the alicorn hummed suspiciously, her eyebrow raising as she stepped closer to him. “And you have no ulterior motive to do this?” The smaller stallion was sweating bullets as her eyes seemed to bore into his soul.

“There is…” he squeaked before coughing into his forehoof, his voice soon returning to normal. “There is, your highness. Ms. Raven said I would get paid for my time doing this.”

Giving the green pony a hard stare for what seemed like an eternity to him; Princess Luna pulled back and inhaled deeply. “Very well. Your services are appreciated and you shall do.”

The green stallion nervously nodded as Luna rose back up the dais, taking her place on the throne once more.

“Verdant Range, you are to meet with the head chef tomorrow morning so he may take measurements needed for the cake. Be sure to have a clean vest with you when you’re put in the cake. You’re the closest we could get to a stripper so we’ll simply have to make due. You may leave now.” Luna said with an air regal authority, making the stallion salute before heading out the door. Rubbing her temples, Luna turned to the mare at her side. “Raven, could you please have somepony fetch some liquor for me?”

“I’ll send one the guards to fetch something for you, princess.” The alabaster unicorn descended the steps once more, making her way to the doors. “Hopefully that Barrier stallion hasn’t emptied us out again,” she muttered to herself as she pushed the door open.

The days passed by relatively pleasantly for Luna and the palace staff as they diligently worked to prepare for Celestia’s party, having opted to close off one of the castle’s ballrooms and hang a multitude of beautifully designed white and gold banners emblazoned with the ever-familiar sun.

Upon one table was a large assortment of wrapped gifts sent to Celestia from various nobles, ambassadors, heads of various countries and her closest friends. Still, as Luna sized up the stack of presents for her sister, she beamed with pride, confident that her gift was the one Celestia would love the most.

On the table across from the presents was a breathtakingly decorated three tiered cake. It was stencilled in gold upon snow white fondant images depicting some of Celestia’s greatest feats throughout the centuries. The lowest tier was carefully lined with some of the freshest strawberries in Equestria, while the second tier had layers of frosting draped over it in a way reminiscent of fine silk curtains.

The third and final tier had the pièce de résistance; the top of the cake was covered in an ornate gold piping laid in the shape of Celestia’s cutie-mark with a small-scale representation of Princess Celestia herself in the form of the finest modeling chocolate Prance could provide and hoof-crafted by a master artisan.

Luna had kept the amount of ponies who knew about the surprise waiting in the depths of Celestia’s cake to a bare minimum, not wanting word of the idea to reach her sister too early. Only she, Raven, Verdant and the three chefs that had made the cake were privy to the secret.

“Magnificent.” Luna beamed as she and Raven examined the cake. “Now all that’s left is to get the stallion in the cake.”

“Already taken care of, Princess.” Raven pulled away from Luna’s side. “Verdant, are you okay in there? Can you hear us?”

“Yes, ma’am!” A muffled reply reached the two’s ears from inside the cake. “Everything’s going smoothly on my end.”

“Fantastic!” The moon princess giddily clapped her hooves together. “Things are going magnificently.” Catching her overly enthusiastic tone, Luna cleared her throat before shifting to a more authoritative tone. “Verdant, you are to remain silent until you hear me say, ‘Surprise’. That will be your que to pop out. Do you understand?”

“Yes, your highness. Will do,” the voice from the cake answered swiftly.

“Right, I will fetch my sister.” Luna raised her voice as her horn started to glow. “Places, everypony!” As the staff and guests scrambled to their hiding places, Luna’s horn glowed even brighter until she vanished in a flash of blue light.

An instant later, the midnight blue alicorn reappeared in her sister’s bedroom, making the elder mare stumble off her bed in surprise.

“Oh, sister!” Luna sang as she flared her horn once more, summoning a yellow handkerchief into existence. “Are you ready to go to your party?”

Celestia groaned and pulled herself to her hooves, quickly putting on a gentle front. “Of course, Luna,” she beamed as Luna levitated the cloth over her eyes. The younger sister soon came to Celestia’s side, draping a wing across her back.

As the two started to move forward, Luna acting as her sister’s guide, the elder alicorn was shaking in anticipation.

“I’ve been looking forward to this all week, Luna.” The blindfolded mare grinned as they travelled down the hallway. “Is the cake going to be a big one? I skipped dinner and I feel so hungry that I could swallow a cake in one gulp!”

“Oh please, sister,” Luna chortled at Celestia’s exuberance. “Even at your most enthusiastic, you couldn’t swallow a whole cake in a single gulp.”

“We’ll see about that. I’m sure I’ll love it even if it’s a small cake.”

“In that case, I’d say you’ll love this cake so much, it would be enough to make Chrysalis explode!” Luna’s horn ignited, pushing the massive twin doors open for the royal pair. Stretching a foreleg out, Luna brought her blinded sister to a halt. “Are you ready to see what we’ve got for you, sister?”

“Oh, you bet I am!” the elder princess merrily answered as she struggled to stand still in her excitement. Celestia’s ears flicked as she heard the hum of Luna’s magic behind her head, untying the blindfold.

As the blindfold fell from her face, and her eyes laid themselves upon her gifts, Celestia’s jaw dropped before the hidden guests all popped out from their hiding spots from behind pillars or under tables.

“Happy Birthday, Princess Celestia!” The mass collection of guests’ voices echoed throughout the room, bringing a massive smile to Celestia’s face.

“Oh, Luna,” the princess pulled midnight blue mare into a bone-crushing hug. “This is wonderful. This is the best birthday I’ve ever h-” Celestia paused, gasping at the sight of her cake and dropping Luna from her grasp. “Mother of me…” A single tear slid down Celestia’s visage as she stepped forward with a lick of her lips.

“I’m glad you’re happy, Celestia.” Luna dusted herself off as she rose from the floor, quickly taking her place at her sister’s side. Luna smiled happily, her eyes closed as she boasted. “I made it special so it’s unlike any cake you’ve likely ever had before. In fact...” With a wave of her hoof, all the guests, save for Raven, quickly and quietly shuffled out of the room. “This cake has something special, meant for your eyes only.”

The only response Luna received from her sister was a loud growl coming from her stomach.

“Sister?” As Luna’s eyes opened, Celestia had charged towards the cake, taking a flying leap at the three-tiered pastry.

“Happy Birthday, Princess Celestia!” The shout of the happy crowd penetrated the layers of the cake, reaching the ears of the patiently waiting pony.

Okay, Verdant. Get ready. This could be the thing that makes or breaks your career, maybe even your whole life!

The earth pony nervously swallowed as the wait dragged on in the dark.

Just hold still until Luna says ‘surprise’, then pop out, do a little dance and try to look sexy for the princess as you take off your vest. Do that right and everything should be-

Verdant’s train of thought was derailed as he was rapidly tumbled about, becoming disoriented.

“Ugh…” He spoke in a groaned whisper, rubbing his forehead as he tried to make the small dark chamber stop spinning. “What the hay just happened?”

As his head stopped spinning, he felt the cake was being gently rocked back and forth by something.

Maybe the cake’s being moved from the one table and somepony tripped trying to move it? Guess I should get ready.

Verdant shifted his stance as much as he could in the cramped space, preparing for his leap.

Oddly, no signal came for the confused pony. He heard muffled talking from Celestia and Luna, but nothing loud or clear enough to make out as time dragged on.

“When is Princess Luna going to give me the signal to pop out?” the baffled pony whispered as he brought a hoof to his chin. “I think the cake fell off the table.”

Luna stood dumbstruck at the sight that had occurred. Somehow, defying her comprehension, Celestia’s jaw had unhinged like something out of a horror movie as she somehow managed to swallow the entire cake whole in a single flying leap. She rolled across the floor before coming to a halt by the wall.

“Ahhh.” Celestia contently sighed as she rubbed her swollen belly. “And you said I couldn’t eat a whole cake in a single gulp.” She smugly said, her closed eyes not seeing the horrified looks upon Luna and Raven’s faces.

“I...I…” Luna sputtered as her sister rose to her hooves and stretched.

“I really needed that.” The alabaster alicorn chuckled before bringing a hoof to her mouth, suppressing a belch. “I felt so hungry; I could’ve eaten a horse.”

“No kidding,” Raven squeaked as she stared at the swollen, swaying stomach; thinking of the fate of the poor pony trapped within.

“So Luna, what was so special about the cake that made it ‘for my eyes only’?” Celestia smiled as she came trotting up to her stunned sister.

“What...what we had inside…” Luna swallowed, making her sister gasp.

“Oh dear,” Celestia frowned as she pulled Luna into a hug, pressing her against her big belly. “Sorry about that, Luna. I promise that the next time you have a cake for me, I won’t just inhale it like I did today.”

“Sister... I nee-”

“So, Princess Celestia!” Raven exclaimed as she dashed in between the alicorn pair. “Should we bring the guests back in and get this party started?”

“Oh, course.” The elder alicorn nodded as she sauntered over to the table, the large stack of gifts resting and waiting upon it. “I shouldn’t be the only one celebrating. Come on in, everypony! The party’s about to really get started!” She cheered as the far doors opened up, letting a large crowd of ponies back into the ballroom.

As the jubilus ponies danced and chatted amongst themselves, a nervous bespectacled unicorn crept over to the night alicorn's side as she watched her sister dance about, her grand gut swinging about as she swayed.

“Princess Luna,” Raven harshly whispered into the alicorn’s ear. “What are we going to do?! This is a disaster!”

“I don’t know!” Luna hissed with a glare, making the unicorn shudder. “Sorry.” Luna glanced away to her sister for a moment. “All we can do right now is hope it passes.”

“This situation…” Raven’s head tilted in confusing. “Or Verdant?”

Author's Notes:

Hey there, everyone. Hope this story got a laugh or two out of you. This won't be the only chapter, but I will have a poll in the comments. On May first, I'll tally the votes and write around that for the second chapter; A Royal Meal II: Electric Scootaloo.

So with that, how will poor Verdant possibly escape from his freshly prison?

Option 1: Through the front entrance.Option 2: Through the back exit.Option 3: He decides to stay.

Hope you had a pleasant April Fools. Rest assured, this will have no impact on the rate of APD: Homeward chapters coming out.