Airship Mauled

by Darkonshadows

First published 31st of March, 2018

We crash landed on a goddess. Welcome to Airship Mauled, where everything could possibly be worse.

We crash landed on a goddess.

Welcome to Airship Mauled, where everything could possibly be worse.

Prolonged Prologue: Stuff you don't need to know.

It all started when… well… it started when I was born I guess.

I am a reincarnated being, meaning I have memories of a past life.

Other reincarnated beings might get some small samplings of their past lives, some might not at all and then there were the outliers.

I on the other hand… I remembered every single detail of my past life from birth to friendless, lonely and exceedingly painful death by starvation.

I cried a lot as a baby because of how all the information hurt being squeezed into my tiny little baby skull, said information never went away and it got easier to cope with given time. I managed to hide how intelligent I was well enough, up until my vocal chords developed anyway.

I was born into this world an outlier in every way imaginable, I wasn’t normal for my species and I knew exactly what world I had been born into. All things imagined for entertainment was just a gateway to another world, another time and place where the laws of reality as we know them don’t work the same way we imagine them to. Anything you have ever dreamed of has likely happened in another dimension, even a dimension where spelling errors are actually how you spell a word sometimes.

I was reborn into the world of My Little Pony, on the very planet of Equus the show was aired and the time I was born was approximately eighteen years before the show really got started with the Nightmare Moon event.

Many people would imagine being born as a Pony, usually a Unicorn, a Pegasus or the rare seldom used Earth Pony. If they were used, said Earth Ponies can control their hair, had resilience to sicknesses and were physically stronger than their bodies should allow for. The even rarer chance would be an Earth Pony might have a talent for psychic or reality bending abilities.

I was not any of these, nor was I a Dragon with its mighty halitosis and tough hide, a Yak with dwarf like tendencies which are just less magical versions of Earth Ponies or even a Griffon with their eagle eyes.

No, I wasn’t a Changeling either, though that might have been fun. I wasn’t a Nightmare, one of the storm kings army, a Minotaur, a Centaur, a Hippogriff, a Mer-pony or even a Zebra. Also just for the sake of clarification, I certainly wasn’t a Sea Pony even though I will jokingly say shoo-bee-doo shoo-shoo-bee-doo.

Breathing underwater did later become a permanent talent of mine thanks to the shenanigans of my very existence, you’ll learn about that soon enough.

I was an Abyssinian, a humanoid cat person and an exceptionally unusual one at that. The first twelve years of my new life were spent in a relatively quiet location known as the town of Palicoast, a coastal fishing town part of the trade nation of Abyssinia.

As any… would I really call myself a protagonist? I’m more of a do what feels right person. Where was I?

Anyway, I was born into the town of Palicoast as one of the most interesting sights the sleepy fishing town had seen in years. I was an Abyssinian that actually could grow long hair, I’d eventually have long bushy bright green hair down my back around the time I hit thirteen. Surprisingly I wasn’t called a freak for it, but there were implications that my mother had slept with a pony and aside from that most Abyssinians treated me like just another Abyssinian despite me being slightly unique in appearance.

Aside from the hair, my body was covered completely in beige colored fur, my eyes were green and there was a tail of moderate length popping out my feminine backside. I looked nothing like my strange mother.

I was the basic plot for any starting RPG hero. Except I don’t think running into people’s houses and stealing everything, including the stuff that is also nailed down, would be welcome and would generally aggravate a lot of people.

General RPG protagonists started out a plot as such, they grew up in a sleepy or peaceful place with one notable parent and no other family around in their existence with a simple life style with various minor oddities. Eventually said RPG character would set out on an adventure or stick around in one place long enough to watch their home town get burnt down to the ground by a bunch of assholes that they’ll swear revenge upon and then take years adventuring to culminate their revenge slash justice plot.

At least the town getting burned down never happened, though it might have burned down after me and my 'wonderful' mother left it when I was thirteen. Why am I comparing my life to a role playing game? Well apparently some things in RPGs work in this reality, such as Celestia or the sun being my patron goddess giving me a single really broken and rather ridiculous ability for starters. One of the other things that worked other than my unique goddess given ability was magical alchemy, something of which my mother is slowly becoming far more proficient in to a scary degree despite having no one to teach her how to do it.

The Abyssinian that gave birth to me in this world was Kurilian La Perm, or Kuril as she’s more commonly known. She had beautiful silver and white fur and truly cared for me, even if I was a reincarnated with perfect recall of a past life.

Ever since the age of six when I told her of my past life and my reincarnation, one would expect she was highly skeptical of me. She wasn’t skeptical at all given I was finally talking and with far more intelligence then a kitten my age should be, she actually thought it was interesting and told me to help do the dishes afterwards because I was more intelligent than a child my age should be. If I was going to have an adult mind, which as she pointed out I was still capable of being emotionally fragile despite my intelligence, then she would treat me like an adult with emotional problems.

Kuril, my mother, was the proprietor of Kuril’s Curing Canteen of Port Palicoast, again up until I turned thirteen. She never married though she did take some passing interest in some of our customers. We had a pleasant life even if I didn’t know who my father or possibly other mother was, I wouldn’t put it past the abilities of magic to do anything in this world. My mom was paid in both money and leftovers of whatever she cooked that was brought to her. People brought the food in and paid a small sum for cooking it expertly. They’d leave with happy bellies and we’d have more fish jerky than you can shake your claws at.

My mother was a talented lady, she knew how to make fish eye soup my second favorite meal behind potato stew. Mom made a heavenly tasting potato stew and darn it she only let me have it once a month because she actually cared about my health and the fact that I was continuing my trend of being completely friendless and a bum like I was in my last life.

From the age of seven I and mom started playing Ogres and Oubliettes while discussing the future of what happens in Abyssinia and the world at large, more importantly what would happen in Equestria and the ponies I wanted to meet before they became a tightly knitted group. Kuril wanted me to have friends and I could think of none better than those to attempt to be friends with.

Our various talks over the game of O and O led mom to confiding in me that she always wanted to be a witch. When I had asked why she couldn’t be one, she told me she didn’t have the first idea about how to do magic even if she did magic all the time with various foods. Mom didn’t think cooking magic was quite the same, only we later found out that cooking magic actually existed and was a thing. Kuril’s food was in fact magically enhanced to make eaters healthier than they would be otherwise. A bit of information that made my mother happy to hear, but we didn’t discover that until after we ended up in Equestria and what we discovered before we went there was more important.

It was mom’s wish to be a practicing heroic witch that led to me telling her about a video game based alchemy system of magic. I didn’t quite explain intrinsically that it was from a work of fiction in my previous life and just told her that it used ingredients to do various things. Even things that weren’t very magical at all, when given enough magic, would actually change to be a mystically active thing for use in magical alchemy.

The first bit of magical alchemy Kuril did was with fish bones, we had a ton of bones just sitting around doing nothing until that point. At first she just made them glow in various colors and used them to light up the room when I was eight, as far as decorative magically powered overhead lights went they were well received all Abyssinians and the aroma of fish attracted customers. My mother was on the way to becoming the good witch she’s always wanted to be and it was all thanks to me, what she discovered led to a discovery of my own.

I, jokingly enough, praised the goddess Celestia and the sun a lot, thanks to that I gained the intrinsic knowledge to use a very unique magical ability from my constant worship of either Celestia or the sun. I’m banking on it being the sun that gave me this ability, as it was a ridiculously broken ability and it seemed harmless from an outsider’s point of view. That is, if they didn’t know what the ability actually did like I do and just how much it broke so many laws of physics, especially that of thermodynamics. I could use the ability anywhere and almost at any time, there was some kind of cooldown factor of about two minutes before I could use it again, but I could only have all the permanent results of said ability in one spot at any given time.

It was from that point that I first used the ability for the first time that I knew I could break this world in silly ways that nobody would have ever accounted for, praise the sun for it will give you one uniquely broken magical ability. It made me wonder what would happen if I praised the moon after Luna returned when Nightmare was no longer an issue.

I was living in a fantasy world where the laws of logic from a previous existence ceased to exist and knowing that... I started working towards my chosen class as if I were a literal O and O character. My mother and I kept up to date character sheets of ourselves and our capabilities, my mother would not have her class be anything other than purely witch and I was dual classing as a priest and a rogue. I also did dabbled in some magical alchemy, but my mother was more fervent about using it than I was and was the leading world expert on it.

When I got to the age of thirteen Kuril shut down her canteen, much to the sadness of our many beloved patrons, we then set out for Equestria on an airship. Knowing what I did about this world, I told mom to be prepared for an imminent disaster as soon as we arrive in Equestria. The name of the airship was The Predestined Paradox after all and with a name like that... we were definitely screwed from the outset.

One rainbow colored sonic boom to our the uniquely named airship and all the passengers fell overboard into the sea near some incredibly jagged and rocky shoals in a matter of seconds, with the exception of me and my mother thanks to our claws.

This was where the legend started.

I smugly told my mother I called it while clinging to the completely vertical deck and the remaining working balloon that kept us barely in the air until we were over land. Not that being over land was exactly safer, we were quickly falling towards the ground at an increasingly worsening rate with only one working balloon to hold the whole ship aloft. I wonder if Rainbow Dash had ever realized or was told just how many people she might have just accidentally grievously injured performing that so called ‘cool’ stunt of hers.

Mom would certainly hate her guts and would be having some words with Windy Whistles about it later.

The legend beginning here was about a place called Airship Mauled.

Author's Notes:

The prologue will keep going up and until Airship Mauled is actually start which will take about ten chapters.

Prolonged Prologue: Stuff you didn't need to know.

“Mom, I’m slipping, could you maybe hurry it up with the saving my life here!” My claws were losing grip on the splintering wood of the deck, below me was nothing but solid ground and a fall from this height would either kill me or break my legs.

“Hold on, hold on, you know you can’t rush magical alchemy Jade.” Calmly stated my aggravating mother Kuril, the somewhat friendly white and grey cat lady that gave birth to me. She was being way too calm about how everyone, but the two of us at least, were grievously injured or worse. She was crouched up on the very back end of the ship searching through her large brown over the shoulder bag.

“Well do something, this cheap wood is coming apart under my claws and if I fall right now then I’m good as dead!” Sure I was panicking a little, I had all my claws, both feet and hands stuck into the deck and was slowly beginning to slide down towards the front end of the vessel pointing at the ground. “What kind of mother are you if I die!?”

“Grip tighter then, I thought you were classing as a rogue. Why don’t you ever LARP like it? I mean rogues are supposed to be agile and can do stuff like climb walls and other incredible feats of acrobatics.” My mother continued to search her bag while not looking at me. “You are a Abyssinian, so wouldn’t acrobatics be part of our racial talents?”

“I’m technically more of a priest of the sun at the moment than a true rogue and of course you know that. Also wouldn’t racial talents differ by varying species of Abyssinian? I’m technically a genetic half pony mutt if the neighbors were right about how you got pregnant with me.” Yeah my one unique ability would only make this situation worse unless I was able to aim it correctly at the only thing slowing our fall down and maybe give us more lift instead of getting us killed faster. “Look, why don’t you use an alchemy cast to trade places with me and see how well you take to holding on for your life!”

“I’ll do you one better… for here I have a raven’s feather!” My mother pulled out a black colored feather, I often wondered why she thought witches needed to rhyme. I knew she was going to do this cast with a rhyme, even when it wasn’t necessary and it would take up precious time in saving my life. “Portents of the darkening last breath, let this feather help me save my precious daughter from death!”

The flash signified the destruction of the feather and the magical spell created from that destruction immediately covered my form for a second before fading.

“That didn’t seem to…” It was at that point that the chunks of wood, of which I walked on days prior to the rainbow colored sonic boom that destroyed two of the three balloons to the airship we were on, broke. I was soon falling at terminal velocity. “Heeeeeeeelp~!”

“…” Kuril didn’t say much and just watched me with worry in her eyes, which is until as my fall suddenly slowed down and then I found myself miraculously falling sideways. There was a relieved look on her face and I glared at her hard as I quickly fell away from her in a different direction, I also flexed what would count as my two middle digits out at her.

If I was right I was quickly falling… to the north. What kind of alchemy effect did that Raven’s feather have on me? Was this another one of mom’s untested castings? Please don’t let me die before I get a chance to strangle my mother over this.

-

“Well… that was unexpected… and quite rude of my daughter no less.” Kuril said slowly as she had lazily watched her daughter’s momentum changed from down to abruptly sideways. She pulled out another raven’s feather and thought about whether or not she should use it on herself after what happened to Jade. “What would happen… if I used it on the ship?”

Well it wasn’t like Kuril cared if the ship survived. If it did land intact, then she could probably find her money more easily and get it back from paying for this suddenly ruined voyage. To think that exploding rainbow had been so pretty up until it upended almost everyone overboard.

-

I crossed my arms and sighed as I kept falling sideways and downwards, then I came to an abrupt stop and fell right on top of someone else. Someone I already knew very well that was just getting her cutie mark right around now.

“I, love, everythi…” Fluttershy was cut off by me bodily landing on top of her from twenty feet up, the animals all around her scattered in fright at the sudden interruption.

I quickly got off the poor filly and looked at her to see if she was okay, please tell me mom and I didn’t accidentally kill one of the heroes. I don’t think I’d be a very good replacement for her, please oh great sun that gave me the power of that one ridiculous ability. I needed a sign to know that I didn’t just kill one of the most innocent characters ever!

Her flank flashed and she received her cutie mark, three butterflies like it was supposed to be. At least there was an acknowledgment that she was still alive and my mother’s spell hadn’t traded my life for another. I looked around and smiled sheepishly at all the animals staring at me.

“Sorry about that, I’ll just be taking her. Don’t worry, I’ll get her healed up so she can come back to finish doing her singing princess routine.” The animals just watched as I scooped up the unconscious teenaged filly into a fireman’s carry and started to slowly walk away. “You’ll see her again, I promise! Just don’t let nature take its course until then. You guys wouldn’t want to make a liar out of me right?”

One of the rabbits nodded that he wouldn’t, that had to be Angel who was giving me the rabbit version of a thumbs up.

Now if only I knew which way I was… a loud crashing noise in the distance, followed with a horribly loud pained feminine screeching noise, scattering of birds in the distance and of course a large plume of smoke even when the airship hadn’t been on fire when it was crashing.

That way then, I just hope that scream wasn’t mom as that would be a horribly RPG thing to do to me in arriving in these land alone... and freshly orphaned. She’s catty at times, but she’s still my mother in this world.

The smoke was the least logical thing about this, but it helped choose a direction. I better paw it then before the animals get rowdy about me carrying off the rather adorable pony. I also wanted to get to the airship before night fell, because my mom would be in danger without me being there to use my specially ability if she was alright.

-

Okay, this was not the sight I expected to walk into. I mean I expected my mother to be hurt, instead I find the airship had miraculously landed right side up and ‘mostly’ intact no less and my mother in one piece and not groaning in agony.

“Well, you got here in a timely manner.” I watched as mom snuffed the smoke coming off of her hand with but a flick of her wrist. “Apparently the sustained effect of using sunlight as an alchemy ingredient is to cause smoke as if something was burning.”

“You used that cast on me untested didn’t you?” There was a bit of guilt on moms face as she looked away.

“Yes, but I did know some of what it would do. Flight from death was the most obvious outcome, instead it seems that using a raven’s feather in a cast form of usage is to make the target land on someone safely.” She pointed at the large near burgundy paw sticking out from under the boat. “Incidentally I might have broken her spine by accident.”

“I’m okay… and nothing is broken… I’m just in a lot of pain.” Muttered a voice from under the boat. It belonged to a particular Sphinx that tricked Somnambula into freeing her from having to be stuck guarding a temple or at least that's what I believed anyway.

“Well that’s a lot off my… where did you get that filly?” The only response that I could dignify my mother with was a glare at her. “Oh right… the cast usage of the raven feather. The effect must be landed on someone safely, right then. What shall we do now?”

“Should I do the thing?” I wondered if we even had enough fish for the poor Sphinx my mom made the airship crash land on top of, we really needed a peace offering for when she eventually got out from under there.

“Yes, you should probably do the thing.” My mother smiled at me quaintly as she got up, walked over to me and brought me into a tight hug. “I’m sorry I made you land on someone sweetie. I may not be a medic, but the filly looks perfectly fine at least.”

“I’m going to riddle you with riddles when I get out from under here…” The suddenly struggling and angry form beneath the crashed airship groused out.

“Should we be worried about that?” Mom asked me in while pointing her thumb over her shoulder at the squashed Sphinx.

“No, she’ll be fine, she’s not evil at all and I’m sure she’ll be willing to talk to us after you dropped an airship on her skull.” Sarcasm aside, I always thought that there was something about the Sphinx that Somnambula met and I was hopefully not wrong about my supposition. I was going to need to confirm it sometime after she finished getting out from under our damaged and pretty broken airship.

“Well now, I really guess I should apologize for that as it was my magic that made it happen. I’m also sorry for doing an untested cast on you my lovely, graciously forgiving and loving daughter.” Pausing mom pulled away from me and dusted off her whitish robes before sitting down to pull out yet another raven’s feather, an ink pot and a small journal. Having recently eaten proverbial crow, she had plenty of feathers to spare in her alchemy bag. Said bag needed sorting pouches for the ease of acquiring magical alchemy supplies quickly. She dipped the feather into the pot and I watched as she started writing down what she learned from using two feathers. She spoke out loud as she did with her tail flicking back and forth excitedly. “A raven’s feather when used in the cast form of magical alchemy has the unusual effects of causing one to safely land on a nearby living being without injury or damage to the target the cast is used upon. The living being, which the target of the cast landed on, might not be so forgiving. Will test if cast still works on object that is not already falling, if so, might be able to direct object magically in the form of an offensive alchemic spell to land on aggressive problems. Note: discover sustained magical alchemy effects of what raven feathers are.”

“Seriously mom…” I groaned out, did she need to talk out loud while writing? I sat down in the grass in the clearing looking over at the Sphinx slowly pulling herself free from the mass on her back.

“Yes, seriously Jade. You’re my daughter and you might inherit some of my legacy someday… that or my grandchildren will inherit the La Perm family tradition of the magical Abyssinian witches.” I gave her a look that said that that will never happen, especially not now that there aren’t any Abyssinians around to possibly date. Probably wouldn’t stop mom from pestering me about getting a boyfriend… or a girlfriend which is more likely at this rate concerning my past life having colored this one. “Now do your thing dear and I’ll just step away to about ten feet and test the sustained effect of this raven feather.”

“You mean the same raven feather that now has the additive of ink?” I just had to point that out in case Kuril forgot that magical alchemy does have additive effects depending on how many objects are used together in conjunction. The ink would certainly throw off her mission to accurately learn all she could about alchemy, it wouldn’t do for her to have a horrible misfire. “Mom, I’ve told you several times to be careful about magical alchemy and how it worked from my past life.”

“Yes, but what did you know about it working here exactly? It worked and now I’m the expert in the field of continuing to make it work.” She wasn’t wrong there, but mom’s experimenting was dangerous and I worried about the crazy cat lady when she was testing new objects with this form of magic. “Aside from cooking, you know I’ve always wanted to do magic and didn’t we decide to bring it up to Celestia when we got a chance to go to Canterlot?”

“You mean if we can get to Canterlot alive at this rate. Judging by the map I had on me before the ship sent everyone else falling, we were still flying north along the coast towards Manehatten before we were slammed with the sonic rainbow blast and turned more westward.” I pulled the map from my pocket, I was wearing yellow shorts, panties and a simple green shirt. I wasn’t one for extravagance or dresses, I will absolutely destroy any dress Rarity tries to put on me should we meet by using it in a magical alchemy cast. I won’t care what happens when I do.

“At this time Cloudsdale should be floating directly south of Ponyville and we crash landed… further south and more to the west of that." I wasn’t exactly good at judging where we were. "We'll need to go east to find the train tracks or shore so we can follow either of them to civilization.”

We had fallen pretty far inland, but I’d think we’re in a forest in the vast expanse somewhere between Appleoosa and Ponyville. Cloudsdale tended to revolve around Ponyville and depending on the time of year it was always in a different spot, it’s why it’s called the ‘drifty city’. I could see it from here and get my bearings.

“Sounds like a plan, but I think we have bigger problems to worry about.” It seems the Sphinx the airship crash landed on was now out and angry at us. I still hadn’t done my thing yet and I wasn’t worried about the upcoming fight.

We still had to get my stuff from the airship, but both I and mom could handle a mystically all powerful Sphinx of legend. Maybe…

Prolonged Prologue: Stuff you won't need to know.

Okay let’s see, angry Sphinx approaches. Unconscious party member Fluttershy I just left on the grass unable to act in her own defense, I was unfortunately closer to the Sphinx and I still hadn’t done my thing yet because I’ve been continually interrupted. Mom, was… what mom was doing with that inky feather and why was she posing like that.

“Look if you act like a foul creature, and by that I mean if you attack us, I shall bash you over the head with the power of this feather!” As far as threats go that sounded lame if you didn’t take into account that the feather was still partially covered in ink.

I didn’t have an inkling as to what a cast magical alchemy spell with that additive would do. To be fair it was quite threatening to me if the spell couldn’t be aimed properly and I was suddenly hit with whatever mom targeted.

-

Magical alchemy came in two different flavors, casting and sustained. Various body parts, objects and other things always had various differing effects depending on the shape, color or origin of said objects, parts or otherwise. There were of course rules to magical alchemy and we were blindly stumbling upon them all the time.

Casting magical alchemy tended to destroy the object used in the cast, usually for a powerful magical spell of various effects. You could not use something that was living or still attached to the living in a casting. In example, I couldn’t use unicorn hair to do whatever that hair would do if it was still attached to the unicorn in question.

One example of casting is that fish bones gave one the ability to breathe underwater, like a fish, with the bones being the essence of an aquatic creature that made complete sense. If you were to cast multiple times with the same kind of object in a very short period of time, like say fifty times within a few hours, the temporary effect could actually become permanent.

This is why I told my mom that if she ever used a cast with an axe as her object, she better not cast with another axe if it was a spell that caused one to become a violently powerful berserker.

Magical alchemy could be dangerous to the user, what wasn’t dangerous was the fact that we were two proud aquatic capable Abyssinians. Sure we didn’t ‘technically’ have more than permanent water breathing or protection from being crushed by deep depths, but we were completely safe from drowning at the very least.

I made it a rule that temporary beneficial effects that alter emotions or appearance should never be used in quick succession more than two times, then you should at least wait a day or two so the magical effects didn’t cause permanent issues and to be sure they dissipated correctly. For a temporary effect to become permanent, it requires a certain number of active uses in a row. The effect of one use, no matter how much was used in that one use, could never be, thankfully enough, permanent.

A hand full of fish scales for instance causes ones fur to become more scale like and armored, it wasn’t armored like a dragon and the scales were far more protective in water than out of it. I was not going to walk around for the rest of my life looking like a cat fish and my mother agreed with the rule to watch what we did with our alchemy ingredients when we discovered their effects.

Also I banned any testing of catnip as an alchemy ingredient, I certainly didn’t want to know what it did as a cast or sustained. My mom only acquiesced after I implied what catnip might do to the both of us, especially if euphoria became a permanent effect from multiple casts and we couldn't stop ourselves.

It was an important thing for us to remember that while most fish bones might give you the ability of water breathing, other different kinds of fish bones might yield you far more different unexpected effects.

Sustained magical alchemy was different from casting. Instead of destroying the object for a powerful spell, a different more passive effect occurred that mostly only worked on the user and sometimes the effect would sustain itself without needing to use concentration.

An example of this is aside from glowing brightly, the fish bones sustained main effect made you more agile in water and capable of handling deeper depths more easily. It wasn’t technically permanent, if you didn’t concentrate on keeping the effect going or the bone were removed from your possession you’ll lose the effect immediately. Lose the thing keeping that effect going two thousand feet below sea level and you’d be mulched, the glowing was a self sustaining effect that didn't require concentration.

I had a simple glow in the dark fish bone necklace I could use if I ever had to go deep sea diving. I knew how to use the sustained effect of the fish bones and it wasn’t hard to concentrate on them to keep using said effect.

Fish scales had an odd sustained effect that neither I nor my mother quite understood, why fish scales gave you the sustained effect of being able to spit blasts of water from your mouth was something we've never been able to figure out. Said blasts came from our bodily fluids and we’d need to rehydrate after ten shots out of water. It was interesting and might prove somewhat useful against dragons, so we always had some fish scale necklace on us for sustained usage only.

Only one sustained effect could be held at any given time unless the effect was self sustaining and they can't become permanent like a cast effect. I was currently wearing a pretty fish scale necklace at the time. You could cast as much as you have the ingredients to cast with. The matter is not destroyed, it is however repurposed and even repurposed the essence used in a cast eventually returns to the planet and the magical nature of this world.

Now you understand how magical alchemy works, for the most part anyway. It’s not an exact science… yet.

My sun given ability was not magical alchemy, but it almost looked like it if I decided to make a show of it and pretended it was magical alchemy.

-

“Well hello to you too.” The unnamed Sphinx said in a sickly sweet voice. I knew what was coming, but mom didn’t. “I seriously don’t think a feather is going to save you from being my next meal.”

“Wouldn’t it be cannibalism if you ate us? We’re cats like you. By the way, hi I’m Jade La Perm and this is my mother Kurilian La Perm or just Kuril to friends. We aren’t looking for a fight here, but we will defend ourselves if we have to.” I pointed out to the one seriously threatening her with a feather and it wasn’t an empty one by any stretch of the imagination, plus my dagger was still in the ship behind the intimidating Sphinx. Said dagger had a nice magical alchemy sustained effect to it too, unfortunately I wouldn’t be able to get to it before we were all violently ripped to shreds. That included Fluttershy who had nothing to do with this at all, which was a big 'oops' if I let that occur. “Said mother who owes you a bit of an apology for redirecting an airship into hitting your body at a pretty good velocity…”

I stalled my words as I waited for the aggressive giant magical cat with wings to give me her name, this was in the hopes of forging a peaceful outcome.

“I am Sekhet Sphinx lowly mortal, I have lived for quite a long time and I doubt you’re wise to pick a fight with the likes of me.” Her name was Sekhet, well crap, if I remember history that meant she was a warrior goddess with incredible healing abilities. It explains why her spine isn’t broken from the weight of a galleon sized airship smashing into her back. “However I must still follow the guidelines of all sphinxes and give you a riddle, if you get it correct then you can explain yourselves and apologize to me. If you get it wrong, then we will fight and should you win the battle I might actually owe you a boon. Most people don’t survive longer than three minutes, most of which is spent running from me.”

Okay what were the several titles of Sekhet again?

‘The one who is powerful’, being the meaning of her name and not a title. She’s a freaking Sphinx, so of course she is powerful.

‘One before whom evil trembles’. Not applicable here… or is it? We did kind of trespass an evil upon her by accident, dung beetles, this was quite bad. I’m going to blame Rainbow Dash for this and some of it on my mother.

‘Mistress of Dread’. I was certainly dreading what she’ll soon do to us.

‘She who mauls’. That was the very description of what a sphinx this size can do.

“Mom, don’t antagonize her, we will not win a fight with a physical goddess who has the title of She Who Mauls.” The Sphinx smiled and puffed up looking proud that I knew who she was just by name and title. “She can heal from all wounds with time, she is after all a warrior goddess in the same vein that Celestia is goddess of the sun.”

“Yeah, that… that’s pretty bad for us.” Kuril agreed immediately as we looked up at the grinning sharp toothed visage of the Egyptian goddess of ‘honorable’ slaughter. I’m getting the idea that she didn’t kill off all those ponies back in the past because they weren’t a threat to her at the very least and it wouldn’t have been very honorable to murder them. “So what is this riddle you want us to answer?”

“Also why couldn’t we have landed on Bastet, she’d have been a much friendlier Sphinx to meet.” Not that I hated Sekhet, but Bastet was a goddess of protection and cats, sometimes she was also the goddess of fertility. I got the feeling that Bastet was a large friendly Sphinx in this world and Sekhet confirmed my suspicions.

“You know of my loving sister? Bah, I haven’t seen her since she was tasked with guarding an ancient pyramid. Unlike her, the temple of the kingdom I was saddled with is still surprisingly above ground.” She sounded angry and her eyes narrowed upon me, Sekhet was also goddess of rage on top of the healing and being a warrior. “Still, it’s interesting that you know of her. As the legends of her existence has died off, she should still be guarding it to this day. It is a riddle I will pursue after you answer this one… no... make that two riddles. You inconvenienced my hunt for food by landing on me, as such I will require you to answer two.”

At her size and given how healthy she looks to be, I don’t think she’s lost her warriors edge at all and as such she was quite dangerous even if she didn’t use her magical prowess to render the three of us into puddles of flesh, blood and bone. I haven’t forgotten about Fluttershy, like mom hadn’t forgotten to keep her journal open until the ink dries.

“So be it, tell us the first riddle. We are waiting on you oh mighty Sekhet.” I bowed before Sehket Sphinx on my knees with my head to the ground and my palms touching the dirt. I slowly got back to my feet and looked at her surprised eyes. The surprise did not last long, but it had been there.

“It cannot be seen, cannot be felt, cannot be heard and cannot be smelt. It lies behind stars and under hills, and empty holes it fills. It comes first and follows after, ends life and kills laughter.” Her voice was really quite nice to hear, if she wasn’t seriously threatening to end our lives over something we only vaguely had some control over. “What am I?”

“Wow, you were really going easy on Somnambula back then weren’t you?” There was that curious look again, but Sekhet didn’t say anything about my comment. I looked to mom to see if she any idea what the answer to the riddle was, she shook her head no. If it cannot be seen, like a… that’s it! “The answer is, you are the dark or darkness itself.”

“Correct.” It was all Sekhet said as she continued to give me several funny looks. There was a long pause as she considered her next riddle. “This is not my riddle, but what occupations do you have? I find myself intrigued as to why you two are here in this land, so far from home.”

“I am a burgeoning witch and I used to run a restaurant, should we survive you… I wouldn’t mind sharing a meal if you can find enough for me to cook.” Turning from my mom’s answer to look at me, I gave the Sphinx a dubious look and a smirk.

Mom had the right idea to bribe the goddess with something she doesn’t get very often, a home cooked delicious meal made by the amazing Kurilian La Perm. Maybe an offer of friendship wouldn’t be amiss either given this is Equestria. It has probably been a long time since the goddess has spoke to anyone really.

“I am a rogue sun priest, I think the sun gifted me with one unique ability because it likes me.” That had the mighty Sekhet even more flummoxed than before when I had bowed to her.

“Really now… I hope to see what you make and as for you… your… interesting.” I now had a goddess interested in me, I certainly would have felt special if she wasn’t threatening to kill us if we failed her riddle. “Here’s my second riddle. Say my name and I disappear, what am I?”

Okay, that… that was actually a tough one because of how short it was and didn’t give me much to work with. The order in which she told the riddles meant she was less upset to get bodied by an airship and was more upset about not being able to catch her prey. However my mom broke me out of my thought processes by yelling a single word.

“Silence!” My mother shouted with a firm smile on her face and I just stared at her, why did she… oh. That was the answer.

The Sphinx frowned and growled at us a bit, but she didn’t attack she instead sat down before us and her large tail curled around her left side.

“If I provide the food, will you cook a meal for all?” I noticed that Sekhet was looking at the unconscious filly on the ground with what I considered to be a friendly smile. “I will not ask you to eat anything that can talk back. For I will provide both plant and fish, if you can make me a tasty dish. Then we will talk about how you came to be, especially with the boat that landed upon me.”

Oh great, now I was dealing with two people that liked to rhyme.

Author's Notes:

Bastet and Sekhet, the goddess sphinxes of life and death.

In a similar vein to Celestia and Luna's sun and moon.

Prolonged Prologue: Stuff you can't need to know.

“Mmm… where… where am I?” You, Fluttershy were at a campsite using a pillow and a blanket scavenged from the wreckage of The Predestined Paradox, the blanket that was keeping you warm slipped off of you. I did my thing as soon as Sekhet left to go get the food, I didn’t want the sphinx to watch me do my thing after all. “What’s going on?”

“Hello there cutie, finally awake I see, sorry about ruining your moment with all those adorable animals.” My first action was to apologize to Fluttershy which made her blush and then I give her the whammy that her friend might have just endangered a lot of lives or ended them by mistake. It was like ripping off a bandage that got stuck in your fur, while painful, it had to be done. Our ship to Manehatten was never going to arrive and I don’t know what was happening with all of the passengers. All I knew was that we were completely safe right where we were. “I accidentally fell on top of you while you were singing after our airship started crashing thanks to an exploding rainbow.”

Fluttershy just silently looked at me and how odd I was, she then turned her head to see the ship I was staring at and whimpered.

“It's okay, I wasn't seriously hurt. I'm very sorry about what my friend did though, she didn’t mean for that... to happen… uh… what are you?” Gosh darn it Fluttershy was adorable as she took in my full stature. “Who are you?”

“Never seen an Abyssinian before huh? Well I’m not exactly the standard for what one looks like, but I’m close enough.” I gave her a friendly cat smile and started rubbing the poor shivering dear behind the ears while pulling the blanket up and around her. “I’m Jade La Perm and that over there is my mother scavenging the remnants of our crashed ship for a pot to boil water in and a goddess is off collecting some fresh food for us. The food on the ship is not very safe for consumption thanks to the crash.”

Kuril was coming back on deck with more stuff in her arms, she had a list of things she was going to scavenge and she started it by getting a blanket and a pillow for Fluttershy. Mom knew this was the pony of kindness I told her about.

“P-p-p-princess Celestia is here?!” The filly seemed worried about that. She should be, because Celestia probably would never be notified about the crashing of a foreign airship, mostly because there was nobody important on board. In fact the ponies in charge of international travel would probably just keep it hidden from her unless we made the journey to bring the crash to light.

“There are more goddesses, and gods, than Celestia or the mare in the moon… they are also not always alicorns my friend.” I said looking up at the visage of Nightmare Moon slowly rising as the evening set in, well she’d be dealt with in five years and it was no skin off my nose whether or not I was around to help with it. If I was going to be there, then I was going to be there. “By the way, be respectful of the goddess Sekhet when she comes back. She seems like a very lonely lady and I can tell we’re the first group she’s had a chance to interact with in a long time. Can you do that for me?”

“Uh… okay.” Said an unsure Fluttershy learning that her friend caused an airship to crash probably wasn’t much to smile about, but I had to get her feeling better as she looked so down about it. I had a soft spot for the filly even if this was going to be vastly different from the show, even if it wasn’t so vastly different too.

“I wouldn’t worry, most of the passenger fell off while we were still over the sea. It’s only me and my mom that ended up over land.” I was not mentioning the jagged rocky shoals or the likelihood of survivors surviving, not to this young filly who’s probably lived a happy life free of consequences up to this point. I didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news after all, but my honest words weren’t really helping much here. I wasn’t about to lie to Fluttershy and say that they all had parachutes and will be living in a land of sunshine and rainbows. Technically this was that land, but it wasn’t all sunshine though Celestia could technically do that. “You broke my fall, so you did a good thing and I owe you for that. My mom kind of helped the airship drop on top of the goddess, so the goddess might be a bit cranky. Don’t worry the goddess is actually quite friendly and I’m sure she won’t do anything to you because you had nothing to do with the airship or its many passengers miss…”

I looked at her and waited as she pulled the blanket tight around herself hiding her face in it, she was starting to cry.

“What’s wrong cutie?” Of things I didn’t want to be responsible for, it’s making Fluttershy cry.

“I can’t get home… I’m not a very good flyer and my friend Rainbow Dash… she… she caused this crash.” Yes and I would be blaming Rainbow Dash for that more if it wasn’t for the ships name being The Predestined Paradox. I didn’t think the ships name to be coincidental in the slightest.

“It’s alright, I’m sure someone will come looking for you eventually. Until then you can stick with us, we did kind of have a trip planned for Canterlot to tell Celestia about this if she hasn’t already heard of what happened. While we do that, we can alert a Pegasus or two to your situation.” Giving it some thought I decided to be a bit more soothing. “I’m quite sure that your friend didn’t mean for the airship to crash on purpose and I know for a fact that she wasn’t the reason it landed on a goddess… that one was my mom’s fault. My mother's name is Kurilian La Perm, just call her Kuril. I was falling off the ship and she had to cast a spell on me before doing it to the ship. I’m quite sorry that her spell made me land on you, in fact that’s why the ship landed on the goddess in the first place. For you see the spell lets you land safely, but it also makes you land on someone in the course of landing safely.”

“Who would make a spell like that?” Fluttershy asked a bit more interested now as she sat up and looked down at the pillow leaning against the bench log of the campsite.

“Well the way I and my mother casts our spells is very unique compared to unicorns, so she didn't actually create it. We're still learning how to do magic and I would assume that the spell will always work in that way, if you’re falling that is. If you’re standing on the ground when that spell is cast, we’re assuming it’ll launch whatever we target into the air and it’ll make the target land on someone at random or by choice of the caster.” I had Fluttershy’s attention, I just needed her to tell me her name so I can start using it. “If you ever needed the ability to breathe underwater then just ask for Kuril, she can set you up with that ability innately. I’m completely incapable of drowning thanks to that.”

“That does actually sound useful.” Mumbled Fluttershy who still looked quite down.

“Why are you still so glum, you got your cutie mark today didn’t you?” Well that caused Fluttershy to freeze up and I could only hope that she cheered up a little. “Cheer up a little, today is still a good day for you cutie from what I’ve heard about the importance of those symbols. Even if today was a slightly lousy one for me and my mother.”

Fluttershy quickly threw off the blanket and looked at the three little sweet butterflies on her flank, for a moment she forgot that her friend unintentionally knocked her off a cloud, almost to her doom, and caused an airship to crash, almost to our doom. There was also all the other passengers, but I didn’t know them all well enough to care about what happened to them.

I heard a thundering steps as something heavy came towards us, it had to be Sekhet carrying the food back. Fluttershy cowered next to me bringing the thin blanket back over her head in a frightened manner, despite how safe we were with my ability active. The filly was looking up at the large imposing Sekhet Sphinx who stared at the campsite with a critical eye, but mostly she was looking at the roaring fire keeping us warm from the chilly evening air.

“It seems you are indeed a sun priest, an interesting one at that. Here are bags of fish, fruit and vegetables. I did harm to no one to claim them... if you were worried about that.” After she set the one wet and two dry bags down, she also put a barrel sloshing with fresh water down next to those. Celestia was just the closest representation of a sun controlling god that I knew existed, now it had me wondering who moved the sun on the other side of the planet after Celestia makes it set and if it was related to a being named Ra. “I also brought fresh water for drinking and soup, I hope your mother’s skills are as good as you say they are Priest Jade.”

A roar sounded off in the distance and one of Sekhet’s ears twitched, she turned and started running towards the noise without a word to us about staying here or keeping safe.

“W-w-w-what was that?” Poor Fluttershy, I had almost forgotten that you spent most of your life in the clouds and hardly any of it on the ground, sounded like a bear. A really huge bear… wait… weren’t Ursa Minors and Majors a thing here in Equestria?

“It was just a massive bear, don’t worry about it. The goddess, remember her name is pronounced Sekhet, probably went to see what was causing a disturbance and will make sure it doesn’t disturb us.” Not that anything could get into the campsite with my ability running, praise the sun for it gives protection to a true believer… well technically the protection came as a side effect of the ability I had.

Sekhet obviously wanted a good fight and it was likely to make her less cranky. We still needed to tell her of how we came to be here after all and she’ll be in a much better mood to hear it, though I did feel quite sorry for the Ursa that got her attention.

Mom eventually came to the campfire with the pot and I pointed out the barrel of water and the food so graciously gathered by Sekhet. Which is unusual considering Sekhet spent a lot of her time forcing ponies to give her food and now she was willingly helping us?

I was now almost quite certain that the whole Somnambula thing was a set up to free herself from the temple she was supposed to be guarding. She failed to guard it square and a little too fair in my opinion, plus Somnambula only told her to leave the kingdom and never return. In this day and age it was no longer a kingdom, even then the temple itself counted as a kingdom on it's own while Sekhet was trapped there.

Once Sekhet left the area it was no longer a kingdom as it no longer had any people left in it and she could have freely gone back to kill Somnambula, but why would she when Somnambula did her a big favor by literally ordering her to be free of her job.

It was well within Sekhet’s abilities to have destroyed the ponies settling near the temple as Somnambula never said anything to protect it or the kingdom she was a part of. Somnambula luckily didn't have to.

I was going to bring it up when Sekhet eventually came back to the campfire.

-

She never thought her life would end this way, apparently the thing that gave her this scar and took her horn from her came chasing after her. She thought she could make it on her own to find a way to restore her horn, she was now on her back with a gushing wound in her side. She could still run, but keeping ahead of that beast was going to be quite hard.

Just when the large creature from her nightmares was set to strike her again or continue giving chase, it met a rather unfortunate fate with an exceptionally large cat like creature she had never seen the likes of before. The bloody battle only lasted for about three minutes in total before the nightmare that haunted her died perilously at the jaws of the large cat digging into it’s now lifeless throat. It was then, seconds after her victory and a mild bit of preening, that the clearly intelligent creature turned their slit orange eyes upon her.

“Answer my riddle and I will help you survive the night and you get to eat a wondrous meal, get it wrong and I will leave you to your fate to go to said wondrous meal.” The creature told her, it had her wondering whether or not this being was benevolent. “Whatever that fate may be should you choose to go on your own as injured as you are.”

The cat creature gave her a toothy grin, it was then that she recognized it for what it was. It was a Sphinx, a legendary beast and it didn’t seem to want her dead. For once in her life, she was not going to rely on herself as she seriously needed the help. She could survive the night on her own, but she needed to eat something substantial as it’s been a while since her last meal.

Wait a minute… even if she failed to answer the riddle correctly, she could just follow the great beast that just saved her life to the food anyway. The riddle was just a formality because she was a Sphinx.

“Answering the riddle is pointless isn’t it?” She stated while staring at the beast.

“It’s the difference between you walking there and me carrying you, I would be faster and you’d get help much sooner and you wouldn’t lose nearly as much of your strength.” The Sphinx smiled a bit. “I know a fighter when I see one and you need not fight for your life alone, you earned my attention as much as you did the bears.”

“I’ll take your riddle.” She had little strength to spare following such an incredible being, but she didn’t want to lose that strength and then be eaten by her. She had all to gain and nothing to lose by trying to at least show this being some trust. After having long since lost her childhood innocence, she once again felt something akin to hope.

Author's Notes:

Magical Alchemy list.

1. Fish Bones (simple).

Cast: Water breathing (Temporary passive water terrain survival buff). Breathing water as if you had gills, permanence can be achieved with repeated casts.

Sustain: Swimming efficiency and deep water survivability increases.

Self-Sustaining: Luminescence. Once used in a sustain effect bones glow softly on their own.

2. Fish Scales (simple).

Cast: Fish Scale Skin (Temporary defense buff). Possible permanence with multiple casts, more effective underwater.

Sustain: Water Projection (Offensive ability). Able to spit or project volatile volumes of water, drains fluids from body quickly with excessive use.

Self-Sustaining: None.

3. Raven Feather.

Cast: Survive a fall, fall on something safely or 'possibly' target launches and falls on something by user’s choice or at random. (One-time air terrain survival buff, possible Offensive ability).

Sustain:???.

Self-sustaining: ???.

Prolonged Prologue: Stuff you shouldn't need to know.

“Jade, here’s your knife.” My mom had finally found my knife, but she was already in the midst of cooking the meal.

Mom was using the plates, bowls and other pots and pans that hadn’t been too badly damaged by the crash, the galley like everywhere below deck had been empty of people. She gave it to me and a tray covered in fish.

“Let me guess, I got fishing duty.” I said dryly, mom always made me work with the fish. “What do you want off to the side to play with this time?”

“I also want you to chop up the carrots and keep the tops. If the so far unnamed friend there wants to help, then she may. Oh and leave the guts off to the side dear, I’m using everything else.” After saying that my mother kneeled in front of a shy looking Fluttershy and squeezed on her cheeks making her squeak adorably. “Things will be alright sweetie, you’ll see. Do you want to help me cook?”

“Um… yes… I would like to help if you don’t mind.” Fluttershy soon found herself in a crushing hug and I found myself getting jealous that mom was snuggling her. After that mom started telling her what to do. “And… sorry for not telling you two, but… my name is Fluttershy.”

“I swear you’re treating her better than you ever did me.” A bushel of carrots was tossed on to my tray expertly by the deft hands of the witch I called mom, my knife was a simple short blade and the sheath was just as simple. I sat down on the log by the fire with the tray on my lap and pulled my knife from the sheath to begin working, but first I utilized the sustain ability my knife gave me. “At least I won’t complain about the portions I receive, your cooking is the best magic that the world has ever had.”

“I’m not treating her better, she’s just cuter.” My mother preened at the praise as she came over to me and gave me an affectionate pat on the head. “You never did have a cute phase my little tom cat, the only thing feminine about you is your long hair. I swear, when you find a lover, you better be the one to get your partner pregnant. Even if your partner turns out to be male, as a witch’s daughter they should be the one getting pregnant and carrying my grandchildren. Goodness knows no one would survive you if you were the one to be carrying.”

“I’ll just get to work mom.” I grunted sourly. The sustain ability of the knife was simple. I was a tom boy and a lay about, but the knife improved my dexterity and made me alert to my surroundings. Not to mention the longer I used it the more exercise I got, so it was good for getting me active. I unfortunately couldn’t sleep a wink while using it as my sustain effect and the self-sustaining effect of giving me plenty of exercise helped quite a bit, thank goodness it was a sustain effect instead of a cast. I can’t imagine being permanently unable to sleep without feeling aware of my surroundings constantly.

I wondered what a cast would do with a knife, never tested it before and I don’t want to if it was something that could hurt someone. As long as it was close to me I could do acrobatics with the best of them, had I brought my knife on deck I wouldn’t have fallen off the air ship. The sustain effect helped immensely with muscle memory so I knew how to wield the knife like a sailor, my home town of Palicoast had plenty of salty sea cats to learn from.

It made sense that the knife made me dexterous and alert, as the essence of a knife was the weapon of a thief, bandit or a lazy fish scaler like me. I wanted to class as a rogue and a knife was one of the things that helped train my muscles and skills, the more I used it the better I got without needing the sustain effect.

The knife sheath had a sustain effect that protected me from being cut by small weapons, the cast for the previous few sheaths I owned had the dubious effect of trapping one thing for a limited time. I’m quite sure a sheath of similar make will always do the same thing, bigger sheaths probably lasted longer. Said limited time doesn’t care how powerful you were, given I stopped a whale shark completely in its tracks for the same amount of time I stopped a little guppy. Long story.

I had sat the sheath off to the side of the log as I got to work with the stuff on my tray.

Three swipes of the knife and on fish completely missing its scales and the guts were spilling out. I dumped the scale on the ground and pushed the guts off to the side. I placed a carrot before me and carefully chopped it, saving the top of the carrot as asked. I couldn’t cook like mom could, but I could help prepare well enough.

After I finished chopping the carrots and fish filets, I shoved the carrots into the pot of slowly heating water and looked to mom as to what to do with the filets and guts.

“Throw four filets in for flavor, I’m grilling and spicing the rest. If everything in the galley wasn’t covered in wood we’d be having problems with food right about now.” Turning from me as I set about my duty mom addressed Fluttershy. “Are you alright with fish dear? I know that not all Pegasi eat fish and I wouldn’t want to upset you, Sekhet did say make a meal for everyone and pony fair will be on the menu. Speaking of, can you pass me those metal bars and some of those vegetables? I’m making vegetable skewers.”

“I’m okay with fish, though I don’t like the idea of eating something that was alive… then again plants are alive and I eat those…” Fluttershy started to cover her face with her mane and she gathered the various vegetables shyly. “I guess I’m not entirely upset about it, though please don’t ask me to eat anything more intelligent.”

“I would never, I’m asking so that I know how much to make and I’m going to be making a lot because of Sekhet. I need to know if you wanted any before we start serving her, it’s so I can save some off to the side for you.” I can see my mother shivering at the idea of Sekhet being displeased with us. “She’s going to get a large portion of what we’re making, she wasn’t exactly happy about me magically redirecting a crashing airship onto her skull. Can you tell me more about that daughter of mine? You seem to know quite a bit about her.”

“She’s Sekhet, a sphinx goddess of righteous rage, war and healing apparently. If she fights, which is invoked when you are considered evil, issuing a challenge or have crossed her enough to qualify for a battle where she issues you the challenge, then the chances of surviving her are very slim if she considers it a battle to the death. Unless you set the terms of victory to explicitly exclude her from killing you. If you didn’t issue the challenge, as a sphinx, she has to ask you a riddle if she wants to pursue a form of justice against you. She wouldn’t have left us alone if we didn’t answer her and we would have been seen as guilty if we tried to avoid her, even if said injury has already healed completely. The guiltier we become in her eyes, the more she can act against us.” I was quite calm while explaining this. I continued to slice and gut fish and chop carrots, I wasn’t sugar coating this for the whimpering Fluttershy and I knew the pony wouldn’t upset Sekhet. I think Sekhet would never ask someone innocent a riddle unless she wanted to help them. “If you are considered evil or happen to turn evil in her presence, then she will just attack you outright without setting the terms for victory. Depending on how she feels about the situation she will either try to return you to your senses or more than likely attempt to kill you outright, you’re actually lucky if you’re possessed by something because she’ll only actually attack the malignant spirit to save you. She must knowingly inform you of the consequences of getting a riddle wrong should you decide to take the riddle, we didn’t cross her well enough and she is curious as to why dropping a ship on her head didn’t let her immediately end us as per the rules she follows.”

It was our asses that were on the line and I was well aware Sekhet wasn’t just testing my mom’s cooking skills. It was Sekhet that had been out on a hunt and was just in generally enjoying a quiet life, mom was the one that actually perpetrated an evil upon her by accident and I was not as in danger as she was. Despite a thousand years passing Sekhet’s purple Nemes headdress, Usekh necklace and earrings looked perfectly fine so she was definitely a healthy and magically active goddess. I was mixing my knowledge of Sphinxes and Sekhet together for this, as such I believed this meal for everyone was a test of my mother’s character as much as mine.

“So yes, she’s quite dangerous if you upset her enough for her to want to mash you into the ground. Beating her would be a long shot even with our magical talents mom and provided that she didn’t use hers as a handicap. Her sister is apparently Bastet a goddess of life, protection and cats, sometimes fertility and she is also just as dangerous in her own ways if crossed or wronged.” I was going to continue my little campfire lore telling as I started up my fourth tray of fish and some other vegetables this time. “Upsetting Bastet would technically be worse as Sekhet will not hurt the weak or already infirmed and if you were either she would technically be honor bound to make you strong again so that you can be worthy of fighting for your life against her. We technically don’t count as weak or infirmed, mom proved her strength by redirecting the galleon and I proved it through my knowledge of the goddess herself. Neither of us is sick. I think the war goddess is misunderstood personally, she can actually be friendly and might even tell riddles if she wants to be helpful beyond a normal sense. She brought this food for us in trade for a meal after all and didn’t complain about it as she was getting a fair trade in return.”

“Why should I complain? The company here is quite well informed of who I am by now Priest Jade.” That was Sekhet stomping her way up to the campsite and through the protective effects as if they didn’t exist, if she wanted to kill me she might be able to do it despite the side effect of my sun priest ability protecting me and those I wish to be protected. “You’ve have my attention, you might just be very unlucky for that…”

After that was said, Sekhet held out her left wing and placed a slightly confused, if injured, pony upon the ground. Sekhet then moved to quietly sit by the campfire and stared at the burning flickering fire with something approaching intrigue and as for the food my mother was working on, she looked upon it with complete awe.

Okay things just got a little more complex for the future if that was really the teenaged Fizzle Pop Berry Twist that Sekhet had just dropped off or as she might be known as in the future, Tempest Shadow. I could avert her fate and maybe even restore her horn through magical alchemy… Celestia had a phoenix right? I had a magical alchemy idea to help her, but I would need to earn her trust.

“I hope you don’t mind if I help you, I’m Jade La Perm.” I passed the tray to Fluttershy and mom watched as I went to the blanket that we used to wrap up the unconscious Fluttershy and I dipped some of it into the fresh water and made my way over to Fizzle.

“I don’t really need your…” Fizzle started dryly and seemed upset at my approach, but I began to clean her wound with the wet portion of the blanket and she hissed before sending a glare my way. She started to light her broken horn… “Get away from…”

“Silence brave one… let her do her job...” The giant claw attached to the equally giant paw of Sekhet touched the glowing broken portion of Fizzle’s horn and it ceased working immediately. That scared Fizzle quite a lot and she didn’t say anything about it.

I ignored this interaction and pulled out my knife, which made Fizzle’s eyes widen in my direction as I slashed away the wet blood covered portion of blanket used to wipe her gash clean. I worked the remaining dry portions of the blanket around her barrel and tied it off tightly.

“We’re going to need to change this out tomorrow, but for right now a blanket tourniquet works just as well until we can find a medical kit in the wreckage to sew that wound up.” Despite the suspicious look I was getting, I gave her a kind smile and gently rubbed her behind one her ears. She continued to give me an aggravated stare after that. “Don’t worry, you’re in good paws… if you give us enough time we can do more than just heal that wound in your side. We might be able to fix that poor horn of yours as well.”

Fizzle gave me a disbelieving stare. Given how long she’s been without a fully working horn, it was to be expected. Fixing the broken horn would be easy or hard depending on what ingredients we needed to perform a magical alchemy to do so, thus the qualifier might. I was thinking phoenix feathers or phoenix tears, both if possible. There were other options like a small hydra’s head or hydra skin, at least something that could regenerate lost limbs would work just as well.

“That’ll be quite an interesting feat to see… I’ll be sticking around for that reason alone.” I did not appreciate Sekhet's words or her looking at me as if I were her personal toy to play with. The flicking tail and creepy smile didn’t help my mood much either, there was a certain beauty to her threatening appearance though.

“If you could, you’d be the first.” Fizzle muttered with resentment and looked away from me as I went back to helping mom finish preparing the meal as the night got darker.

In fact, Tempest didn’t say anything else as we started in on our meals. I and mom told the goddess of what happened to us. I afterwards decided to ask Sekhet about the true history of what happened between her and Somnambula, maybe what riddle she gave Tempest, if she did in fact give her one.

Author's Notes:

New Magical Alchemy Discovered.

Magical Alchemy List.

5. Knife.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Rogue Enhancements (Continuous passive buff). Heightened dexterity, agility and environmental awareness

Sustain side effect: Inability to sleep or relax.

Self-sustaining: Trains muscles and exercises body for similar maneuvers used without needing the sustain effect.

Prolonged Prologue: Stuff I wish I could forget.

The meal was quite delicious, mom could really cook even when she was using slap dash equipment. The two ponies were eating quietly and I noticed that Tempest was trying not to look at any of us, especially not Sekhet who brought her to us.

“So… since you obviously have nothing against us anymore, there’s something I wanted to know about.” Yep, ancient history was something of an interest to me given I didn’t know much of this world, excepting for the fact that myths and legends were more real here. Well, aside from specific already possibly ruined events because of my interference.

The large sphinx swallowed her mouthful and looked at me in a lazy manner.

“If you are looking for permission, then you have it.” Sekhet dove her face back into the food, she was a one hungry lady and she looked pleased with the food, and that mom thought ahead with her larger portions.

“I just want to confirm something really. A little more than a thousand years ago the temple you were guarding as the last remaining member of a fallen kingdom was attacked by ponies. Ponies of whom you were bullying into giving you food in the hopes of achieving a specific outcome.” I paused to make sure everyone knew how old the being eating with us was. “Following that attack and your defeat of a massive army, without any reported casualties mind you, you captured the prince and held him captive in the temple. I heard that you didn’t even harm him even after you roughed up his people. So getting to the point and what I want to know is, did you set all of that up to happen the way it did so someone would eventually come and free you from your job?”

“…. you are well informed. Yes, that did happen. I may be a warrior and I may have a ceaseless rage at times, but that doesn’t mean I lose my mind when I’m angry. An intelligent and thinking being can do so much worse than a mindless animal controlled by their anger.” Sekhet’s tail flicked back and forth as her claw stabbed into a grilled piece of fish which was soon flipped into her large maw. She closed her eyes and smiled brightly as the taste slapped against her tongue. “The army wasn’t worthy of death, in fact they were all quite pathetic really. As you say, I roughed them up without doing anything permanent. Their arrows and spears fell upon me and broke or slid from my body and my flesh healed anew, they were quite powerless against me. I could not issue any of them a challenge that would set me free of my duty, so I put a plan into motion by taking Prince Hisan. I hoped someone would brave my possible wrath and offer me a proper challenge that would allow them to make me vacate my duty. They were the ones that settled near the temple, so I am not to blame for all the ponies lacking foresight. I did nothing wrong in ordering tithes from them to prevent my wrath.”

“You still tried to starve them out though, you were performing your duty in protecting the surrounding lands by forcing the ponies to pay you to use them.” It was telling when I saw that she wasn’t about to defend herself or her actions. Sekhet had been bound to protect the lands around that temple and taxing the ponies was one of the methods to getting rid of them without a fight. “So after taking the prince, that’s when you met Somnambula I take it?”

“Yes… but there is one thing you are missing here, the reason why I was taking so much from the ponies was because I couldn’t go very far from the temple and I was thankful that they didn’t know that. The lack of food was really quite harsh on me and though I am immortal, not being able to eat would still weaken me even if it will not kill me.” I watched as she happily shoving some vegetable into her maw and she chewed quietly, she washed it down with some soup. After she was done swallowing and humming in appreciation at my mother’s cooking, Sekhet returned her focus on me. “I'd like to see you try going hundreds of years without a decent meal.”

“So what was Somnambula like Ms. Sphinx?” My mother was eating slowly and watching everyone else make appreciative noises.

“For not being a warrior, she was a very brave individual." Sekhet spoke of Somnambula as if she were a close friend and I could certainly understand why. "I do not know what became of her, but she was one of the few who actually faced me successfully.”

“She freed you from your duty of guarding the temple. You gave her an easy riddle and then you made her challenge you on purpose.” I looked to Tempest and then back to Sekhet. “You gave her the same riddle I take it?”

“Hope shines brightest in the darkness and I had hope that I would escape my situation. As you can see… I did.” I watched Sekhet motion to her chest with her left paw and then she gave me another toothy smile. “It was thanks to her that I could do whatever I will and as I have been for the last nine hundred plus years ever since her disappearance. I could have gone back at any time to decimate them, I’m actually quite merciful to those who deserve it. So I followed the spirit of Somnambula’s orders and stayed away, even though my kingdom ceased existing with me gone allowing me the freedom to go wherever I please. They may tell tales of me being evil, but what they don’t know won’t hurt their view of the world and its cruelties. This one here knows what I am talking about.”

Sekhet pointed a claw at Tempest who just stared at the goddess and didn’t say anything, she just continued eating quietly and she wasn’t very willing to open up to any of us. Even the ridiculously dangerous goddess that brought her here didn’t push her to talk or do anything. Fluttershy looked like she wanted to say something kind to Tempest, but my mother kept her from doing so.

Eventually we finished our meal and I rewrapped Fizzle’s wounds, we all settled down near the camp fire with blankets and pillows. I looked up at Sekhet with wonder.

“As a goddess of healing… how long has it been since you’ve healed others instead of just yourself?” The goddess laying on her belly just gave me a softened look, but she didn’t say anything as she rested her head upon her paws and then closed her eyes.

I curled up in my blanket next to the fire, we would decide where we were all going form here in the morning. Fluttershy was tucked in by mom, Tempest took care of herself though mom still went over to her to make sure she was okay and my eyes started to slowly drift shut.

-

The sunlight slid through the trees and into our campsite, the fire was still going when I woke up. If you can’t guess by now, my ability involves the campfire and why it never needed any more wood once it was started. My ability was quite magical like that.

I sat up and stretched out my back popping a joint or two, the protections of my ability kept the bugs and other nasty monster out of the campsite. I grabbed my tail and unkinked it and flicked it about a bit to loosen it up, then I took in the campsite. At any time Fizzle or Sekhet could have left and yet they were still here, Fizzle was awake and sitting against a tree and… she was staring at me. There was Sekhet who was gazing upon the airship with curiosity. My mom was already cooking breakfast and Fluttershy was still sleeping.

It was time for me to do my one task as a priest, well a rogue priest anyway. I stood up and performed the act of a sun salutation, first part the mountain position with my hand clapped together in prayer.

It was some time during when I was praising the sun that Sekhet started looking my way. She was giving me an intrigued look and she wasn’t the only one, Fizzle the broken unicorn seemed thoughtful.

“Well that completes my morning ritual.” I said out loud as I moved over to sit near mom, I decided to address their stares. “What…? It’s basically the circle of life, a wheel of fortune if you will.”

“What kind of fortune and for who?” Asked Sekhet wryly and with a sudden movement we both watched as Fizzle got up from the tree and came over to me.

She closed her eyes inhaled through her nose and then opened to give me a steely gaze, then she finally said something to me.

“Thank you, both of you.” It was at that point that I noticed something quite off about her side as she was thanking me and my mother. Fizzle turned to Sekhet. “I… I guess I should be thanking you as well.”

Sekhet looked entirely aloof and just motioned with her paw that she didn’t particularly seem to care about being thanked.

Fizzle’s side was stitched up and I seriously don’t think mom did that concerning how nice the stitches looked. Fluttershy would be training to be a vet for the next five years, she didn’t exactly have the talent for medical stuff yet. That left… I leveled my gaze at Sekhet who looked right back at me without a hint of emotion on her face. Slowly that look turned into a faint smile… or was that a smirk? Hard to tell with the pony faced giant lioness with wings.

“You’re welcome.” All three of us said that at the same time and in unison, Sekhet being louder because she was the biggest of us.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think we introduced ourselves last night.” I realized that Fizzelpop Berrytwist didn’t know our names yet, she just ended up at a campsite randomly by way of goddess and then got a good meal in her. She even looked a bit healthier then she previously did.

“To be fair, I wasn’t about to ask for any or tell my own. You can call me… Tempest.” Oh don’t you dare do the dark and broody thing Tempest!

“I’m Jade La Perm… well technically my name is Jaded La Perm, I just prefer Jade.” My favorite color was green, my hair was naturally green and I was wearing a green shirt that I slept in. I couldn’t wait to get back to civilization and a warm bath, but my name was truly ‘Jaded’ and that’s how mom felt when whatever partner she had left her pregnant with someone like me.

“I’m Kurilian La Perm, Jade’s mother and she’s my little tom cat.” I don’t think my mother would ever stop calling me a tom cat, she wasn’t wrong about my tendencies to not care for being feminine. “As you can tell I’m quite the cook, wouldn’t you agree Ms. Sphinx?”

“Sekhet Sphinx, last night was a feast fit for any god.” That was all Sekhet had to say about it and she was right, mom’s cooking tended to get a bit divine when she was in a good mood.

“And… her?” Here Tempest pointed at the dozing yellow furred filly with the awkward long legs that the pink haired pony hadn’t grown into yet.

“Her name is Fluttershy, she's the filly I fell on from last night’s story.” It was only now that I was noticing the similarities in colors between Sekhet and Tempest, which made me stare at the Tempest’s beautiful blue-green eyes. I didn’t like Tempest’s mane style personally, but the color was quite fetching on her and I was perfectly okay with her tail. Oh great, puberty just hit me, I’m ogling the broken unicorn that I intend to befriend.

“So Tempest, I have to ask…” I was cut off when Tempest held up her hoof.

“If it’s about my horn...” She started before I moved closer to her and ran my fingers through her mane making her stop to glare at me, she didn't shove my hand away so that's progress.

“No, no, no, it isn’t that beautiful… I mean Tempest! I was wanting to ask, what you were doing out here before you ran into Sekhet?” I rubbed behind her ears trying to calm her down, I mentally added the thought that Sekhet can possibly change size and she sewed Tempest up without waking her. Darn it, Tempest was a beautiful mare and that scar really adds character. I’m just guessing that Sekhet took last night's comment about her healing others seriously and decided to help with healing Tempest’s physical wounds, maybe even her spiritual and mental ones as well.

“Oh…” Tempest sounded horribly surprised that I wasn’t asking her about her horn, many ponies must have asked her about it as a conversation starter and made her relive that moment time and again. I would think that to be quite an upsetting trend for the burgeoning mare. Her gaze turned towards the ground. “I was just looking for… something I guess.”

Reading between the lines, Tempest was just wandering around aimlessly. She got into trouble and then Sekhet came upon her to wreck an aggressive giant star bear. Thus the goddess saved her from having to run from it after acquiring a nasty injury to her barrel. Knowing what I do, she'd have lived through it.

There was an awkward silence and I decided to break it.

“Well you can stick with us for a while if you want. Mom and I are going to go report our airship crashing in Canterlot, we’ll stop at a town on the way to find a Pegasus that can help Fluttershy get home safely.” I stood up to go wake Fluttershy.

“The question that my daughter is avoiding is, what are you going to do now Ms. Sphinx?” Mom asked the goddess as I was busy rousing a comfortable looking Fluttershy.

“I could just go about my business…” Sekhet paused and I could almost feel her sending a leer my direction as Fluttershy started to rub at her eyes. “What I am going to do is suggest that you and… Tempest… should stay here, while Priest Jade goes to report the airship crash and get the filly back to her parents. I will provide for you and will make sure the airship doesn’t go anywhere. All that I ask in return is that Kuril cooks several more meals for me.”

The quickest way to please a goddess like Sekhet was through her stomach apparently. Unfortunately for us, she probably won't leave us alone because we fed her.

“That might save me a lot of walking, besides we don’t really have a place to stay aside from the airship. I really don’t want to pay for an inn in Canterlot, it would be too expensive for us for even one night.” Mom rubs her chin and gives Sekhet a thoughtful look before nodding to herself. “It looks like you’re going on an adventure Jade!"

Author's Notes:

End of the Prolonged Prologue.

6. Knife Sheath

Cast: Traps one target temporarily. Time limit for stopping a target is the same every time for sheaths of similar design. Sheaths for different or larger weapons probably improves time limit.

Sustain: Increased protection against knives, arrows and other small bladed weapons. Warning: Does not protect against anything larger, or anything else for that matter.

Self-sustaining: None.

Chapter One, To Canterlot and Back: A line is never so straight.

It was after a solemn and ridiculously silent breakfast that mom started setting up for my trip to Canterlot, on the way I’d find someone to help Fluttershy out of her jam. I’d likely be making a stop in Ponyville, if I was quick enough I could get an early morning train to Canterlot.

“Are you sure you want to stay here with Sekhet, mom?” I ask because Sekhet was a scary sphinx shaped goddess that threatened to eat us not too long ago, in fact it was only yesterday.

“I’ll be fine… well at least I will be if you don’t use your ability and providing that Sekhet absolutely wants me to be alive to cook for her.” Mom ruffled my hair and smiled at her, she then shoved my pack into my chest and pointed over to Fluttershy. “You make sure she gets back home safely okay? I at least know you’ll be fine, the pack has been filled with dried fruits, left over vegetable mashed into a fine pasted and of course the classic Abyssinian favorite, fish jerky. I also took the liberty of boiling some water for your canteen.”

“Look, I like fish jerky as much as the next Abyssinian mom, but it’s really beginning to wear quite thin with me after years of eating it.” I dare you to find an Abyssinian that was completely tired of fish for every meal other than me, it was the least likely thing to happen. Still, I didn’t think I was complaining too much about it. “That’s even when I don’t want it to go to waste. Anyway, thanks for helping me pack up for the trip mom.”

“Well I can’t let my dear sweet daughter go off unprepared, do you have everything? Fish bone necklace, fish scale necklace, two spare raven feathers, your knife, the sheath for it and something to tie your hair back?” I rolled my eyes and sighed at my mother’s being slightly overbearing.

“Yes mom, I’m quite sure I have everything on me.” Speaking of, I took out my hair tie and put my hair up in a thick ponytail. I turned to Tempest with a pleading look on my face. “Please tell me you’ll stick around with my mother until I get back. You don’t have to do anything, even if Sphinx doesn’t want you going anywhere, you can do whatever you want. Just please don’t make me leave my mother alone with Sekhet.”

Tempest tilted her head and looked quite thoughtful for a moment, she was trying to decide whether or not to stay here for a while.

“Look, you’re going to need those stitches removed eventually. So you may as well stay here and let yourself heal until we can do that.” Sekhet butted in while poking Tempest’s broken horn, which definitely annoyed Tempest. You’d think with all the power that Sekhet has, she could just simply fix Tempest’s horn like magic. It made me wonder why she didn’t or couldn’t, there had to be some limits to how well she could heal others.

“… fine, I’ll stick around.” The next few seconds for Tempest must have been quite a surprise for her, because I had immediately jogged over to her and wrapped my paws around her neck to hug her tightly. I avoided my first instinct to grab her around the barrel where the wounds on her were. Tempest was so surprised that she didn’t try to push me away until after at least fifteen seconds had passed. “Will you stop touching me?”

“No, because I think you, my friend, need more hugs. You look like you’ve been horribly deprived of them for a long time.” That was an understatement, as I knew she hadn’t received any positive attention since her horn was broken. Hopefully Tempest never went to the dark side because I was willing to help her through her issues. Speaking of issues, I backed off from the slightly aggravated pony and turned to Fluttershy. “Are you ready to go Fluttershy, we’re wasting daylight here!”

Did Tempest even have parents? Was she a runaway? If anything, it’s almost like my supposition that Starlight Glimmer didn’t have parents to curb her darker thoughts or actions. If Tempest did have parents, then where were they when her horn broke and why didn’t they ever try to comfort her? Equestria must have had a glut of evil unicorns due to bad or barely messed up childhoods and Sunset Shimmer would be one of those examples that Celestia had caused personally. In fact, Unicorns were the most likely pony type to go evil in the first place.

“Oh, um… yes I am Jade.” The fresh barrel of water was running a bit low, Fluttershy had used a bit of it to scrub herself clean. The filly looked happy and had taken care of herself quite well, it was hard to stay jealous of Fluttershy stealing my mother’s attention when she was so sweet.

“Well come on then, let’s hit the road. We’ll be heading northeast.” What I wouldn’t do for a compass right now… wait a minute. “Mom, do you have a compass?”

“Hold on, I think I might have found one in the wreckage yesterday.” Digging through the pile of stuff she liberated from the airship she eventually found a small compass and put it my left hand.

“Well it’s working at least.” I commented dryly.

“Be careful and come back to me safely my little tom cat, or at least in one piece if you’re not sane.” I gave my mother a hug and started too walked towards the northeast only to be intercepted by Sekhet moving into my path. “I’ll know if you’re in trouble if anything happens to the protections your ability creates.”

“Priest Jade, do not tarry with coming back, also beware the princess of the sun and the way she may act.” With that said, Sekhet got out of my way and I stared after her. She went to sit next to the large airship and then made a shooing motion with one of her paws. “She will become quite… odd… around you. So I warn you, pay attention to what she does.”

“Right then, every journey starts with the first step.” I took my first step and then another while waving goodbye to my mom and Tempest with the filly Fluttershy in tow.

-

It didn’t take thirty minutes and crossing the shallower portion of a river to find the train tracks. Luck was on our side as we could just follow them to Ponyville, I marked the location thoroughly so I could remember how to get back to the crash site. Cloudsdale was quite visible at this distance, it was kind of hard to miss unless it was raining.

So there we were, the two of us walking along the tracks in silence. Me with a blue pack loaded with food on my back with a canteen hooked to it, a knife at my right hip and my fish scale necklace that would give me a defensive options should I need to fend off a predator. A tightly controlled jet of water can do some serious damage. I was doubtful of ever running across a predator or monster this close to the train tracks.

Somewhere along the way were passing by some bushes while still following the tracks to Ponyville and they started shaking, I immediately put myself in front of Fluttershy and narrowed my eyes at the bushes. I inhaled through my nose to prepare for exhaling at the target, I was using my necklace's sustain effect.

“Surpri..urghfflblblblbe.” My reaction time was pretty good, good enough to catch the young Pinkie Pie in the mouth with a ball of water that ejected from mine. It had knocked her flat on her back spluttering. I was afraid it might have been a pack of pukwudgies, a nest of aggressive flyders, maybe even a baby hydra or a manticore.

Instead I got the naturally occurring reality breaking pink Earth Pony, why was she here of all places?

Coughing and spitting up the water that ended up flying down her throat the wrong way, Pinkie eventually became all smiles when she was breathing normally again.

“Oh my goodness, are you alright?” Fluttershy had been worried for a moment, but then calmed down when she saw that it was just a pony. One that I knew came from a rock farm and was nowhere near it at the moment.

“I’m okay and that was really cool!” It seems that Pinkie didn’t care that I was not a pony, then again I don’t know where her mental state is after seeing the rainbow blasting across the sky the other day. “How did you do that?”

“Magic.” I then snorted twice in a cute manner. Yes I was a lazy butt in my previous life, but I will always remember the classics fondly. I could have also said, ‘that, is a secret’ or ‘that would be telling’.

“Oh of course, how silly of me! Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie and you two are?” Well Pinkie introduced herself with a wagging tail, like a puppy really, so I may as well do the same.

“I'm Jade La Perm.” I looked to Fluttershy who was hiding behind my legs and I gave her a light tap to the head with my tail making her squeak.

“O-oh, I-I’m Fluttershy, nice to meet you Pinkie.” The poor girl was being a bit shy and I really couldn’t fault Fluttershy for it as that’s just who she was.

“Speaking of meeting you…” I was almost too afraid to ask this question knowing who I was talking to, unless she hasn’t hit her zany phase yet. “What in the world are you doing out here all alone?”

“Well I got my cutie mark yesterday after seeing the most amazing thing ever!” Pinkie said excitedly while I looked to Fluttershy for help, only to realize that Fluttershy wouldn't be able to help me calm down this pink ball of sheep fluff. I was technically the adult here and would just have to deal with it.

“Let me guess, a rainbow exploded across the sky that filled your boring life with color and then Equestria was made?” I already knew how Equestria was made thank you very much.

“A rainbow exploded across the… oh your really good at this!” Exclaimed Pinkie clapping her hooves, I just rolled my eyes at the excitable ball of energy. Said ball was a young filly who started bouncing around me in a circle. “Well I’m out here looking for my place in the world. It certainly isn’t the rock farm I came from, even if I really, really, REALLY love my family a whole big bunch!”

“You’re going to follow us aren't you?” I was already following the tracks towards Ponyville, Fluttershy fell into step with me and was looking back at Pinkie who bounced along behind us.

“I already am of course.” Pinkie threw a comically bad salute with her left hoof. “New party member Pinkie Pie reporting for duty, emphasis on the party part as that’s my special talent!”

I looked to Fluttershy who just shrugged at me while flaring her wings slightly and I sighed, I stroked my fingers through Fluttershy’s mane several times and she blushed while squeaking at the attention I was giving her.

“Keep up then, you don’t seem like the kind of pony that would take no for answer.” I wasn't about to let a young Pinkie out of my sight, so we were all moving alongside the tracks together.

“Woohoo, I made some new friends and one of them is a really tall friendly cat!” That’s when Pinkie Pie decided to start showboating and dancing on her hind legs “Go me, go Pinkie, it’s not my birthday, but it might soon be! I’m dropping them some big hints! Of who I want at my party!”

I slapped my forehead in aggravation and released a long drawn out hiss. Try to keep it together Jade, even if this trip was going to be a long one.

-

I was checking my map, who thought it was a good idea to make the tracks run near Flame Geyser Swamp? Still following the tracks was safe and I had to continue ignoring Pinkie’s nattering, I lifted an ear to listen in on what she was talking about now.

“So anyway… I was like Boulder, bad rock! He should have at least waited for Maud to let him outside.” Yeah, Pinkie was still going on about her inane rock farm stories. I really did not need to know her life story or how boring the early parts of it were, though Boulder apparently peeing on the carpet was a thing. “After that I was like… oh my tail is twitching! I wonder if a Pegasus will fall from the sky.”

One already has and she’s been a little angel this entire time, unlike… wait… the Pinkie Sense was never wrong and we were around a bunch of trees near the edges of Flame Geyser Swamp? On instinct I swiftly turned around and scooped up Fluttershy and grabbed Pinkie out of the air mid hop and lunged into a roll. I heard a thunderous crash behind me. A shower of dirt was launched into the air, some of which splattered the three of us.

This was the reward for my quick thinking, I’m so glad I didn’t look up first and thankfully none of us got hurt… yet.

I quickly dropped both Fluttershy and Pinkie on the ground and turned around to look at the creature that tried to pounce on us from the trees.

It wasn’t a manticore, something I would have preferred facing in this situation. It was something far worse, it was a chimera. It was currently dazed because it missed us and had slammed bodily into the ground.

“Girls… I want you two to start running, stick together and keep following the tracks.” I spoke softly and didn’t turn my eyes away from the chimera and I was already using my knife as my magical alchemy sustain. I’d have to switch in the middle of the fight if I wanted to blast them with water, I even popped the claws on my hands to prepare for what was coming. “Don’t come back for me. I’ll catch up with you, I promise.”

“Do you Pinkie promise?” Asked a rather frightened Pinkie as she and Fluttershy gathered their wits, I gave them a rather sharp look.

“Just go, don’t worry about me!” I might have been a little harsh that time, but I didn’t have the time to go through the whole Pinkie Promise thing. That sent the two fillies in my care running along the tracks, as the Chimera got up and lunged for them.

One of the dumbest things you can ever do is tackle a chimera. I checked their side with my increased agility and sent them sprawling and narrowly avoided the snapping teeth of the snake headed tail that came within an inch of my face.

The chimera stood up and three sets of eyes glared at me. I just pulled my knife out with my left hand and gestured to them with my right, I have more meat on me than the fillies do at least.

When you spoke of a chimera, you would have to use plural terms as a chimera had multiple intelligent heads.

Author's Notes:

The full magical alchemy list will be shown at the start of every chapter, all of which have multiple parts. The magical alchemy list can update during chapters if a new effect is discovered or used. Also (NEW INFORMATION!) may be acquired as the story continues.

Magical Alchemy list.

1. Fish Bones (simple).

Cast: Water breathing (Temporary passive water terrain survival buff). Breathing water as if you had gills, permanence can be achieved with repeated casts.

Sustain: Swimming efficiency and deep water survivability increases.

Self-Sustaining: Luminescence. Once used as a sustain effect, bones glow softly on their own.

2. Fish Scales (simple).

Cast: Fish Scale Skin (Temporary defense buff). Possible permanence with multiple casts, more effective underwater.

Sustain: Water Projection (Offensive ability). Able to spit or project volatile volumes of water, drains fluids from body with excessive use. (NEW INFORMATION!) You can actively control the volumes of water you project and how focused that projection is.

Self-Sustaining: None.

3. Raven Feather.

Cast: Survive a fall, fall on something safely or possibly target launches and falls on something by user’s choice or at random. (One time air terrain survival buff, possible Offensive ability).

Sustain:???.

Self-sustaining: ???.

4. Sunlight.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Smoke signaling. Causes smoke to appear as if something was burning.

Self-sustaining: Warms the planet.

5. Knife.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Rogue Enhancements (Continuous passive buff). Heightened dexterity, agility and environmental awareness.

Sustain side effect: Inability to sleep or relax.

Self-sustaining: Trains muscles and exercises body for similar maneuvers used while wielding the sustain effect.

6. Knife Sheath

Cast: Traps one target temporarily (One use support spell). Time limit for stopping a target is the same every time for sheaths of similar design. Sheaths for different or larger weapons ‘probably’ improves time limit.

Sustain: Increased protection against knives, arrows and other small bladed weapons (Continuous passive buff). Warning: Does not protect against anything larger, or anything else for that matter.

Self-sustaining: None.

Chapter One, To Canterlot and Back: A triangle is never so pointy.

There were legends of chimera being fire breathers like dragons, but on a small scale. Concerning the fact that they live in a place called Flame Geyser Swamp, I wouldn’t put it past them to be the fire breathers. There were also legends of Manticores breathing fire, but I didn’t see it as being the truth and I was someone that liked mythology.

At a guess, I would think it to be the male chimera that breaths fire and the lion head could be confused for a manticore.

I would have preferred facing down a manticore. For one a manticore has only one head, two it was a beast that could be easily distracted and three, while it might have been powerful I would have been able to outmaneuver it.

This was a chimera though and female from the looks of it. It had a feminine saber toothed tiger head with rather beautiful green eyes, a goat head growing out its back that could either be on the right or left side of the Chimera. The goat head was on the left side that had… where those earrings? How does a being like this find a place to get its ears pierced? What kind of society did they lead where they were technologically capable of making earrings at all? Those yellow bar pupils of the goat head made me a bit uneasy.

The tail ended with a stretchy snake head with scary red sclera that had nearly bit me when I tackled it to get its attention off of the fillies, said snake could reach any part of its body for swift retaliation and possibly poisoning.

A chimera was intelligent, far more so than a manticore, which was my major problem here. The front two heads were dangerous for different reasons, but the snake head was especially problematic as it could keep track of its surroundings while the front two heads are busy attacking prey.

A chimera was dangerous, it’s front half consisting of a tiger body with big claws, big toothy tiger jaws and the goat’s serrated horns. This means that you certainly didn’t want to face a chimera head on and the tail is the only reason why you can’t get it from behind or the side without retaliation as that head had the fastest reaction time.

A chimera was fast, the powerful rear legs were that of a goats just adding onto its burst movement potential, with a few harmless reptilian spines thrown in on the butt leading into the snake headed tail. The legs gave them the power to do damaging lunge attacks with their goat horns or take a bite out of me with the saber toothed head. The legs were good for jumping or running, but they weren’t good at taking hits and thus the snake head was there to make up for that weakness.

Nature in this world was scary, I didn’t have any method of disabling the snake head effectively and the front two heads were definitely focusing my way.

-

“Is Jade really going to be okay Fluttershy?” Poor little Pinkie thought that traveling with the two would be all fun and games until that monster dropped in on them. She would certainly take her Pinkie Sense more seriously now.

“I don’t know Pinkie.” Fluttershy looked back and nibbled at her bottom lip, wondering with gnawing worry when Jade would catch up to them like she promised. Maybe Jade just promised to get them moving, she silently pleaded that it wasn’t the case.

-

“Look, before we do a thing, can we talk about this?” If I could avoid this confrontation, then all the better. I wasn’t exactly as strong as a chimera, even one that was possibly half starved. I held my knife at the ready and if I was separated from it, then I’d lose my heightened ability to dodge. The strength of the magical alchemy sustain probably had a maximum plateau for how much it could improve my natural abilities for when I wasn’t using it. I haven’t exactly hit that plateau yet, but given a few more years of using this knife and I’d be like a real rogue I wanted to class as. Right now I was a scrawny teenage humanoid cat. “If you want some food, I have plenty of fish jerky you can eat. Besides wouldn’t eating me be one third cannibalism? Can’t I just give you some food and then we can go our separate ways?”

I now knew for a fact that Sekhet was only joking about eating us. She would have certainly slaughtered us of course, but she at least wouldn’t have eaten us. If Sekhet were feeling nice, then she might have even given us a proper burial. This chimera was a bit lower on the scale of friendliness compared to the goddess, what is my life coming to?

“How about…” The tiger head started, nice voice.

“We kill you…” The goat head intoned, it had a standard warbling effect.

“Then eat you and your food!” I saw the attack coming as the silkily speaking snake head spoke and backpedaled sideways, backpedaling straight would have gotten me a claw to the chest and would have put me on my back.

“I would say so be it, but chatting while something is going for your throat is… ugh…” I did the most unexpected thing of me and lunged forward underneath them as they kicked off for me. They sailed over my prone form and I rolled to the side as soon as I was behind them to avoid the snake tail snapping at where I was. “Beyond the pale!”

I quickly stood up and slashed at the snake head with the knife to make it back off from committing to a second strike and backed away. You do not turn your back on something faster than you at a straight run. The chimera turned and started to circle me while growling, in stereo.

I stood at the ready with my knife and kept myself facing towards them, hopefully the fillies were far away from here. They may have been my age, but they certainly weren’t in my weight class when it came to defending themselves and they really shouldn’t witness the level of violence that the four of us were about to perpetrate against one another.

We were both just testing the waters for the moment, but sooner or later this was going to get messy and I needed to avoid permanent injury or mom would never let me out of her sight again if I survived this.

I just needed to remind myself that I wasn’t a warrior and should not get caught up in defeating or ending the chimera’s life, I was just an Abyssinian teenager in over her head and if I could disable them without doing further harm then that was good a good thing. I didn’t want to kill an intelligent being before I was an adult and I was going to actively avoid putting them down.

The chimera charged, raised its left paw and reared up on to its hind legs and swung. I stepped into the hit and took it sharply across the face, leaving three bleeding marks flowing from most of my right cheek and large portion of my head. I was agile enough to avoid losing an eye, I just clenched my teeth and reacted quickly to get the better end of the exchange. If I had stepped away I would have been far worse off.

I definitely had the last laugh, though the paw hit me and it was really quite painful, they had just impaled their front left leg on my tightly held knife. I had held my knife so that their own momentum would put it deeply in their wrist halting their movement to swing the other paw.

Three voices screamed in agonizing pain as having a knife digging deeply into their tendons would do that, I followed stabbing them through the wrist by gripping the leg tightly with my meager by comparison claws and then kicked them in the belly with my left leg as hard as I could.

They were unbalanced by standing on their goat hooves to claw at me, so I was easily capable of flipping them on to their back with my kick and my knife pulled free when they fell.

I followed this up by slapping the goat head across the face with my right hand set of claws making smaller but still defining claw marks across the left side of the goats face.

The tail came up between their hind legs, but I had already danced out of the snake heads range. It was only thanks to the leverage and the spasm from the hobbling blow to their paw that kept them from getting up as fast as they could.

“You’ll pay for hurting my sister!” Growled the tiger head and I probably would too, I wasn’t going to go down that easily though.

“Hey, excuse me, but you’re the ones who want to kill and eat me!” Don’t blame me for your aggressive tendencies. I did know where the leg would be after it hit me and acted accordingly to claw your abdomen with my toes and to get that revenge swipe in because I’m quite a petty kitty. She was one third cat, so what cat like being aside from me would have such a distaste for fish jerky? “After I so kindly offered you some filling food that you might have actually liked too!”

“We are strong, we don’t need your pittance!” All three voices said and they all grimaced as they put weight on the stabbed paw. They kicked off the ground with the goat head leading the charge in an attempt to gore me.

I tried to dodge the sudden burst of speed they put out with that jump, I didn’t make it. The left horn of the goat head dug deeply into my left shoulder and it caused me to reflexively send my knife flying from my claws as spun and fell onto my chest. I growled at the painful gash in my shoulder, I had lost my knife’s sustain and hurriedly switched to my fish scale necklace as my current sustain.

If it really came down to it I can still burn my sheath in a cast, but I was going to be stubborn to the last! Oh darn it, I hope I’m not being infected with the mom and Sphinx rhymes. Why that alone would just lead to me causing many crimes!

What’s worse than a bleeding wound? A bleeding wet wound getting caked in mud of course! I didn’t know if my fish scale water blasts were sanitary. Did their species even have medical practices? Yeah, this might incidentally kill them down the line indirectly, but they lived in a swamp on top of being a hardy and strong sapient being.

I fumbled my way onto my back as my agility was lost and I had to roll to the right to avoid getting several claws to the chest from another pounce. The Chimera seemed confused for a moment by my less than agile floundering, but I wasn't about to give them a chance to realize that something had drastically changed about me.

I had enough time to prop myself up into a crouch and inhale through my nose sharply and covered my mouth with my right palm, I also made sure to keep my nose tightly bound between my thumb and pointer finger as well. This always hurt whenever I did it, but it was for a good cause as the chimera lunged for me again.

I released two tight powerful jets of water… from my ears. Yes, you heard me right, I fired two powerful blasts of water from my ears and it really hurts a lot! My poor eardrums were going to need minutes to recover after this as it was quite disorienting, it wasn’t nearly as bad as what happened to my sinuses if I had used my nose for this.

I might have water breathing, but that doesn’t help my nose after using it for water projection. My mouth was definitely the safest orifice to project water from and the less said about using the other unmentioned orifices the better.

The look on the front two faces of the chimera had been quite comical from my perspective. The force of the blast not only sent the chimera sprawling onto their back bashing their front two heads against the ground after getting smashed by my spiraling water blasts, but it had also knocked me flat on mine.

My mouth was suddenly quite dry, I sat up and pulled out my canteen. I popped it open and took several quick drags of it to recover my lost bodily fluids. I stood up and started searching the grass for my knife while the chimera was still disoriented.

The snake head was glaring at me and trying to get the body standing, apparently the force of the blows to both the front heads had knocked them both out. Go me! I also learned that one head can operate the entire body on its own as it was standing shakily and starting to slowly approach me, apparently the snake head didn’t have practice with the main body and why would it when it was the literal rearguard?

I finally saw my knife sticking halfway out of a large tree, oh come on! Though that did tell me that my increased agility had an affect on things that I could throw, I’d definitely look into that later. I still had one third of a chimera still on my butt.

“Look, do we really have to keep going? You’re worse off than I and I’m magically gifted.” I put on some bravado as I started backing towards the tree with my knife in it, I grabbed it and tugged. Yeah, it was quite unfortunate for my knife to be stuck the way it was. I would need both my hands to pull it free, which would mean turning my back on the chimera. Something I wasn't going to do. “I still have some tricks up my sleeve and I’m wearing a shirt here.”

“Yes~ I do believe we have to.” The snake said while making the body with the unconscious heads slowly stalk towards me.

“Your sister’s funerals then.” I threatened while grabbing a raven feather from an easily accessed pouch on my pack and looked for a large enough object to use it on. The snake head noticed my gaze searching the surroundings, it made her pause and consider her sisters two heads.

The snake head could control the body, but she couldn’t control the front two heads or protect them very well if she assaulted me like this. She was quite awkward with the staggering walk she had going on and had been noticeably wincing with every limp.

“Maybe we can come to an agreement.” The snake head hissed after a moment of contemplation, in a less than threatening amiable tone too.

“I’m listening.” I wasn’t about to trust the snake head. If I could end this peaceably without crushing the chimera with a tree or boulder, then I would certainly take it.

I would regret this later, but not for the reasons you'd think.

Chapter One, To Canterlot and Back: A square is never so sturdy.

“Oh she has to be alright, she just has to.” Fluttershy was fretting over the fact that it had been two hours and they hadn’t seen Jade. Someone that risked herself for them.

“Nope, she still isn’t coming.” Reported Pinkie looking left and right down the tracks they had walked from.

The two fillies had made it to Ponyville unscathed, they were waiting at the train station for their friend to show up and the mayor was with them. She had already alerted a Pegasus to go find Fluttershy’s parents and as for Pinkie she was being quite stubborn about wanting to stay in Ponyville.

“Maybe you just have to face facts girls, your friend doesn’t seem to be… coming.” The pony with them was only known as Mayor Mare, she had seen a lot of heartache in her life and these poor fillies didn’t need to hear that their friend wasn’t going to be around any longer. It was like what happened to Bright Mac and Pear Butter all over again, they were just gone one day.

“I know she’s still alive, my Pinkie sense says so.” It was getting close to noon and even Pinkie was a little worried that her sensing abilities were off.

It was another three minutes before they spotted the first signs of a horrible, but equally wonderful sight.

-

My legs weren’t injured at least, I was feeling pretty awful after that fight. At least the outcome wasn’t terrible on both sides, I had no permanent injuries and I successfully fended off a chimera. I wouldn’t have survived two and the one I fought wasn’t even fully grown one yet. A person who fights monsters I was not.

The right side of my face must look like a mess, my left shoulder was definitely a mess, my back hurt and my ears were still stinging from the high powered water jets I forced through them. That and my body was badly bruised from several tumbles. I’m surprised I wasn’t crying, I was just going to suck it up and keep going. My previous life taught me that life wasn’t fair sometimes, the teenage filly and pre-teen filly didn’t need to learn that lesson so soon and I couldn’t keep them waiting.

What was the bright side to all of this? I unloaded all my fish jerky on someone who would appreciate a good meal. Thinking of food, I pulled out a dried piece of apricot and chucked it in my mouth and started chewing. Oh look, the train station... I was miserable and I was going to make people miserable just by looking at me. I hiked up my pack and continued forward.

As soon as I approached the station I noticed that there were only four ponies here, the ticket selling stallion being one I didn’t recognize all too well. It was hard to recognize anything when your right eye was covered in drying blood. The other was Mayor Mare who was giving me a very disturbed look, I am after all the cat that just dragged itself in.

My appearance must have been frightening to Fluttershy and Pinkie, because they were both giving me sad looks. They tried to come toward me, but I held up my right hand to stall them.

“Hey girls, I’m okay, just a bit roughed up. Please don’t tackle me with a hug just yet, heh, at least wait until I’m feeling better.” I was mauled and the injuries I dealt to the chimera were negligible compared to mine, I would still like to think that I came out of that fight in the positive side of things. I still had the advantage at the end there, given I knocked out two of my three deadly opponents. I also damaged their front left paw badly enough that they’d be limping for weeks. “Oh and I managed to make friends with the chimera, odd thing that.”

I might have even been coloring my experiences to make myself look better in my own mind, I didn’t do much more than minimal damage in that short fight and the chimera could have killed me if the saber toothed head got it’s jaws around my neck at any point.

“Really?” Asked a happy Pinkie in a naïve manner, obviously she thought befriending a chimera was possible.

It admittedly was possible, I did it after all. It required that you prove yourself to be stronger than them if not in body or physical prowess, then at least stronger in spirit. My spirit was currently shot right now my pony friends, can you hear mine screaming? Come back later when I’ve cleaned up my poor injury riddled body. I just wanted to flop into a seat on a train and sleep on the way to Canterlot.

“Yes, but I can’t recommend my particular method of befriending one Pinkie.” I turned to Mayor Mare, she was older than the main six and at least old enough to be mayor of the town at this moment. “You wouldn’t happen to have a medical kit anywhere nearby would you?”

“You’re the friend they were talking about?” She seemed confused, as if she thought the friend they were talking about was another pony.

“Yes, I am… apparently. It’s not like ponies can have friends in different species, goodness knows where the three pony tribes would be if they couldn’t live with differing species. Yes, ponies certainly can’t get along with anyone else that isn’t a pony.” I was feeling like I needed to be snarky about this with the mayor and she looked rather sheepish. ”If you haven’t noticed I got injured fending off the chimera for these two, they did what I told them too and I did what I promised them I’d do. I hope you get back to Cloudsdale alright Fluttershy and I suggest you go to a place called Sugar Cube Corner Pinkie. You’ll be cheered right round up if you do. If all of you will excuse me… I have something I really need to do.”

I slowly made my way over to the stallion in the ticket station, I ignored the two worried fillies and the upset mare.

“One ticket for a train to Canterlot please.” The stallion blinked owlishly at me as if I were some kind of mauling victim asking for a train ticket in a normal tone despite my current state of appearance. All as if it were the most common thing in the world.

“That’ll be five bits, the ticket is good for any train you get on heading for Canterlot.” Oh good, it wasn’t too expensive. I reached into my backpack and got a pouch out, I had at least fifty on me. Mom had the rest with her. I needed to admit that I hadn’t entirely come out of that fight in anything resembling an okay condition as my current mental state would suggest. “Just thought you’d like to know if you missed the next train due to… certain conditions.”

That was his commentary of my current state, my poor shirt was caked with my own blood and I was feeling a bit lightheaded.

“Thank you good sir.” Being polite as I paid and took the ticket from him, I slowly turned away from the stallion. “I will now go lay down on a nearby bench and pass out. Have someone wake me gently when the train arrives, I’ll worry about how I look after facing a chimera later.”

I took off my pack and flopped onto the bench while using it as a pillow, both the fillies sent Mayor Mare a slightly worried look and I gave them a small smile as what remained of my vision faded to black.

-

I slowly came to as something rubbed against my face, I opened my eyes and my right eye was no longer bothered by drying blood clotting on it. The thing rubbing my face was a slightly damp purple sponge that smelled of chemicals.

“Oh you wake up easily. Sorry to disturb your rest miss, hold still while I fix you up. Your train isn’t here yet, but it will be soon and you can’t go to Canterlot in this state. The nobles would eat you alive, well not literally and I think you get the idea.” The unicorn stallion was wearing a lab coat and had a stethoscope, he had short dark brown hair, pink eyes and blue coat. His cutie mark was a bandage, scalpel and syringe crossing one another. “You were roughed up quite a fair bit. Bruising to the spine. I don’t know exactly what you did to your ears, but it obviously stung quite a bit. No ear wax or any lasting damage in there though, which is good for you. Your face won’t scar as soon as the healing magic is done. Your shoulder will need stitches, but it’ll feel a lot better afterwards and you’ll have to find the nearest doctor to remove them for you wherever you are in a few days.”

“So… I’m still at the train station?” It certainly looks like it, I didn’t move from my position and let the doctor do his work. “What’s this visit going to cost?”

“Nothing, never worked on an Abyssinian before. This is quite a unique experience for me and I’m doing this free of charge. Pro bono if you will.” He got a bit of numbing agent, a needle and a thread out of the bag. “Just don’t bite my head off when I start stitching you up. Anyone that can go a round with a chimera and walk away like you did has to be tough, I’m just not seeing it here as your body is kind of scrawny. Quick Patch at your service miss. I’m a trauma and quick medical assistance specialist, the mayor wanted me to mend a hero and I didn’t expect that hero to be an Abyssinian.”

“To be fair, it wasn’t a full grown chimera. Got a bit of wood or rubber I can bite into for the stitches?” He held out a rubber dog bone and I gave him an unamused look.

“It’s sanitized I assure you.” His friendly smile did not make me feel any better.

“A dog toy… do I look like a Diamond Dog to you?” Call me grumpy from the blood loss, but I really didn’t like this if it was a joke.

“It’s cheap and effective, plus I’ve had to a do a lot with less before.” He soon stopped smiling and gave me a stern look. “So be glad I even have this, as your shoulder needs to be stitched before I can use magic to help it heal. You’ll be glad to know your face won’t scar, but your fur might be a little off for a while.”

“I’m not really that worried about my appearance.” It was kind of sad that I wouldn’t be sporting some cool scars left by Mara, Maria and Marie. That’s at least what Marie the snake head told me to call them anyway.

“All the same, you shouldn’t be walking around with scars if you don’t have to miss.” Mr. Patch squeezed my left bicep and I bit down on the rubber bone, it didn't take him long to sew my shoulder shut. “You’re good for travel now, remember to eat healthy and don’t do anything too strenuous for a while. Also don’t upset those stitches, I can’t tell my patients that enough!”

“Jade La Perm, thanks for patching me up Mr. Patch.” He nodded and backed away with a quirky smile, what was he… I suddenly had Pinkie and Fluttershy on top of my chest and belly hugging me.

“You’re welcome.” The cheeky stallion said before leaving me with two fillies that were trying to get my attention, I chose to give more attention to Fluttershy.

Fluttershy was almost like a pet, sweet, innocent and willing to cuddle for some friendly affection.

-

The train roared into the station and both Fluttershy and Pinkie looked at me sadly.

“Well, I got to go girls. Try to stay happy for me okay?” I felt something bump against me and then I saw Pinkie looking up at me with a cupcake sitting in front of her. “What’s this?”

“It’s a cupcake, I made it just for you!” I kind of figured referencing Pinkie to the Cakes would make her happy and I took a bite of it. it didn't taste very good, but I kept eating it. “Thanks for telling me about Sugar Cube Corner!”

“I know we haven’t known each other for long, but… will we see each other again Jade?” Her question had me smiling and I played with her mane a bit.

“Grow your mane out a bit and I’ll certainly recognize you cutie, you’ll likely be a beautiful butterfly the next time I see you.” I just made her blush again and made my way onto the train. “I’m sure we’ll still be friends in the future, but I have things to do and a goddess to get back to before she does something to mom.”

“I’m glad you’re okay, goodbye Jade.” Fluttershy was going to be fine and she had one last thing to say before the doors closed. “Oh and all the animals said thank you for making sure I was alright!”

It was going to be a bit of a trip, so I secluded myself in a train car and sat down to look out the window as the train started up. First two days in Equestria and things were already complicated, no more lazy days for me I guess.

I still can’t believe I managed to escape the chimera by bluffing it and now I was going to see Celestia, I wondered if Sekhet’s warning would actually amount to anything.

-

In Canterlot a purple unicorn filly and a great white alicorn with colorful hair were in the middle of a teaching session.

“Now Twilight…” Celestia paused and looked off into the distance, slowly her eyes dilated and an unbelievably happy smile appeared on her face. “Oh my goodness, I have to go prepare for them!”

“What’s going on princess, prepare for who?” As curious as Twilight was, she had been a little bit frightened by the sudden change in Celestia’s demeanor.

“Don’t worry about it Twilight, it’s just that something important came up. Give me a few seconds to tell the guards to be on the lookout for anything.... unusual.” Using her wings to scoop up the little filly into a gentle hug, Celestia nuzzled her newest protégé. Hopefully Twilight wouldn’t turn out like the others, Celestia was still crying herself to sleep at night over her many numerous mistakes. Ten seconds to tell the guards what she wanted and she was back with Twilight, she had to focus on teaching this filly correctly. “Okay, now where was I?”

“I believe we were talking about levitation and the many different magical applications of it.” Ever eager to please the princess, Twilight wouldn’t stop putting her full effort into every little thing Celestia wanted her to do. “Also the theories involving every unicorn’s aptitude for lifting things and the formula behind how much weight a unicorn can technically handle.”

“Right… and I was about to tell you that a unicorn can do more than they logically can if they only believed that they can.” It was fun for Celestia to see the look on Twilight’s face. “A little concentration can go a long way Twilight.”

Chapter One, To Canterlot and Back: A circle is never so round.

-Kuril-

I sat in front of the campfire watching as the glutton continued eating a huge amount of food, I at least knew she wasn’t angry with me or my daughter anymore. It would take about two or so days for my daughter to get back, I was accounting for her being waylaid by circumstances beyond her control and being a tourist.

I looked over at Tempest sitting to my right and she seemed thoughtful. Sure she’s got a broken horn and is wandering around out in the middle of nowhere, but she seems like a big girl that left home too early. Injuries like that don’t make life pleasant and her mind must have been in a bad place since she lost a very important integral part of her identity.

“So… what were the two of you going to do once you had arrived at this Manehatten place?” Ms. Sphinx was mostly interested in food until now, I was caught a little off guard by the question and jolted a bit.

Of course the Sphinx had a rather smarmy evil looking smile, I wonder how powerful she is and how she can be so intimidating one minute and nonchalant the next. She was stated as partially being a god of healing by my daughter and so far the most impressive things she’s done is take down an Ursa Medium, somehow expertly stitched up Tempest despite her size, stopped Tempest from channeling through her broken horn and acquired enough food to feed several mouths including her own over the course of an hour or two.

“Well I and my daughter were going to start up a business around Manehatten’s harbor, Abyssinia is a trade nation and I figured we could help work up a stronger rapport with the pony kinds. I would have opened a restaurant, one with a mostly pony friendly menu and fish for the more carnivorous. I’d also continue working on being the leading expert in the La Perm family practice of magical alchemy, I will become the world’s best good witch.” Yes, that was our initial plan. It might even still be the plan. We could always just find a nearby river and build a small hotel for passing wanderers, the river would have to be fish rich though. “My daughter had some plans of her own, whatever they were. She’s quite knowledgeable about many things and I think she was planning on writing a bestiary of mythological monsters or something.”

“Lofty goals those.” After saying that Ms. Sphinx just licked her paw of some juices from the food she had been consuming. “I would visit your restaurant every day and eat well, the magic you put into your food is quite edible.”

“There’s magic in the food?” Tempest looked down at the smiling vegetable platter that she had been nibbling at, I was quite proud that the poor dear actually spoke up.

Tempest was so quiet and broody, nothing like my ragamuffin tom cat of a daughter. I was a little cross with my daughter using 'the eyes' to ask her to stay, I’m a little surprised that Ms. Sphinx even helped her talk Tempest into it.

“Oh yes, it’s been a long time since I found someone who could cook with magic. It’s quite a rare gift that you have there. Where ponies are concerned it’s quite common, but it usually has a singular focus. None of which involves fish, while you seem to be good with just about any dish.” Sekhet popped a piece of cooked fish in her mouth and immediately swallowing without chewing. “Usually people cook the magic out of the food without realizing it, but Lady Kuril here keeps the magic and it is why her food tastes so… decent. There is nothing negative to eating food made this way.”

I would have called her rude for not chewing and calling my cooking decent, but the fact that my food is actually filled with magic means I’m likely to be saddled with a title like ‘The Witch of Good Taste’. My daughter warned me that I could be saddled with a silly title depending on my actions, like how a character in O and O can be given a silly bard song. What would a little ditty about me be like?

I’d think it’d be something like, ‘here comes Kuril The Witch of Good Taste, any food she makes is eaten, devoured and consumed with great haste... and none of it has ever truly gone to waste’. I snickered in amusement at my own thoughts. I should remember to sing that to my daughter once, she’d find it just as silly. Wait a minute, I can make that my title and force everyone to call me that! I’d be known as both a famous witch and a cook!

“Thank you for informing me about this Ms. Sphinx.” First I had to thank her, then I had to tell her off. “Also… decent… who are you trying to kid? Show my cooking the respect it deserves, goodness knows my daughter does! Tempest, is my food decent?”

“I… well no…” I would have been angry with the broken unicorn, but I waited patiently. Jade might have flown off the handle, but I’m going to let her speak her mind. “It’s really quite delicious ma’am.”

I stood up and made my way over to her and hugged her, my daughter said ponies were cute. This one was adorable even with the scar and the missing magical focus... I'll look into making a wand for her.

“Why thank you.” I rubbed my face against her neck, this was how ponies showed affection right? Well I wasn’t a pony, but cats did stuff like this all the time and Abyssinians were really just bigger cats. Well, most of us were.

Tempest’s reaction to my affectionate gestures was to stiffen up a bit, she eventually relaxed and then I decided to let go. I swear Tempest needed help and not for her broken horn, but her broken spirit and I’m quite sure my daughter wanted to do the same thing.

-

When the royal guard went on alert, they themselves were alerted, apparently Celestia had a vision of something unusual coming to Canterlot and they had to watch out for whatever dangers that might pop up.

They had two on the gates already and the two of them personally were watching the train depot, looking at every pony on the off chance that one of them might have been acting oddly. This could be the sign of a changeling infiltration, changelings were a crafty bunch.

It was quite late in the evening when a train arrived with a most unusual thing, she stepped off the train looking around at the city of Canterlot in wonder. The two watching her knew what she was. Why was she here and what kind of doom did Celestia see her bringing to have the guards this active? She didn’t look to be very old, she was quite unusual given she had green hair which was unusual for an Abyssinian. If this was a changeling infiltration it was a pretty laughable attempt, everyone knew that Abyssinians could never grow hair like that.

This cat was going to be tagged for watching, time to send in Agent Sweetie Drops to see what she could find out about this individual and maybe discern whether it is an infiltrator or something else. It came from a south bound train and Abyssinians didn’t live that way, it might have even been a Sphinx in disguise. That spelled a lot of trouble if she was a creature that powerful.

-Jade-

Well so much for getting here in a timely manner, I at least made it before it was too dark and I could hopefully get an audience with Princess Celestia without any trouble.

Oh who was I kidding? Even if I didn’t want trouble, it was going to find me in some way. I stopped to get my bearings, Canterlot was an interesting city for something built into the side of a mountain.

“Excuse me, but you look a little lost there." I turned to see a pink and blue mane, beige coat and blue eyes. I looked at her three candies for a cutie mark and immediately knew who this was, might as well do something silly. "Do you need help?”

“Not really agent Sweetie Drops, I’m just getting my bearings before I head to Canterlot Castle.” The young Bon-Bon immediately froze and I walked off cackling to myself.

“Hey wait a minute, get back here!” I wasn’t about to slow down my walking speed for Bon-Bon and she got in front of me, I sauntered around her on my course for the castle and I wanted to get there before Celestia stopped taking visitors for the evening. “How do you know who I am, is our organization compromised, are you a changeling and if so why aren’t you afraid of being captured by me?”

“In order, what S.M.I.L.E exactly does is make ponies forget memories, not erase them. You can’t perfectly erase or remove a memory unless you have an artifact to store them in like the memory stone and I know where that is. It’s easy to jog your memories if you leave a note to yourself before forgetting and I’m immune to memory erasure. The only reason why it hasn’t gotten out is because no pony would believe those who do remember. I assume you’re a newbie agent and that they haven’t told you about the N.E.I.G.H organization yet.” It was time lie like crazy, that would hopefully prevent them from trying mess with me and hopefully they’ll be too busy with the chaos verifying it to bother me. I wasn’t ready for the cloak and dagger stuff yet, give me two more years at least. “Speaking of compromised, your organization is so terribly compromised to the point that there’s actually a changeling in the ranks and the changeling didn’t even kidnap a pony to get that position either. You might want to look into your director for that one, there are quite a few discrepancies about his past.”

“You still haven’t answer me about being changeling.” Her eyes were narrowed at me and she looked ready to buck me in the head.

“Nope, not a changeling personally. My appearance is completely natural and I’m here to talk to Celestia about something important.” The disbelieving looked made me stop and crouch down to look her in the eyes. “I am actually an Abyssinian even if my long hair is unusual, my mother was said to have been with a pony. I don’t think she’ll ever tell me who my father or mother was, not that I really care who that is at this point in my life.”

I stood up and continued onward towards the castle.

“Hold on a minute, I’m not done talking to you!” Bon-Bon continued to hound me. Even if I was attracting a lot of attention, I acted like nothing was off.

“Well I’m on a schedule and I definitely don’t want to pay for a hotel tonight. If you insist on following me, then keep up. Could I stand to sleep out of a cardboard box? Nah, the rents horrible on those things.” I would continue onwards despite Bon-Bon and I had to wonder where all the royal guards were, I hadn’t seen one since I got into the city proper. “So is there anything else you or your partner over there want to know.”

Bon-Bon looked at the pony I randomly pointed out and paled.

“How did you…” Bon-Bon started and I looked at the pony sitting at the café reading a newspaper to try and quickly find something off about him.

“The newspaper of course, it’s obviously an early morning newspaper.” I nodded to myself, which made complete sense and now the faulty logic to go with it. “Like Celestia is an early morning pony.”

“Lots of ponies read their early morning papers in the evening.” Bon-Bon glared at me as she followed along towards the castle.

“Even week old papers in the evening, with…” I sniffed the air. “A double espresso coffee from the smell of it?”

“Yes… but what does the coffee have to do with it?” The ever curious secret agent Bon-Bon.

“It’s about to become night time, aren't most ponies usually preparing for bed in an hour or so? His cutie mark doesn’t scream night-time job at all.” I had my little follower spluttering for something to say in her coworker's defense, she stopped glaring at me and glared at her handler. I was wondering if foreknowledge was a thing in this world, aside from Celestia’s future sight ability that is. “Your handler’s not exactly on his game today I take it?”

“No, no he is most certainly not and you’re right!” Bon-Bon’s ears wilted as she blushed and turned a sad look to me. “I can see how completely out of place he’s being when you pointed it all out, wearing sunglasses this late in the evening doesn’t help.”

“Yeah, hiding in plain sight that badly is for idiots... and ponies apparently. Your species generally doesn’t pay attention to the small things that seem out of place, but is likely seen on a regular basis like multiple ponies sitting around with sunglasses in the evening. I’d suggest a sunset viewers club as an excuse for them.” I was getting closer to the castle and Bon-Bon was still following me. “In any case, when you eventually get a mission with a bugbear, you’ll eventually be reassigned to Ponyville after that with the official statement that your organization is shutting down. In truth you’re going to be in Ponyville to watch some important ponies to make sure they don’t get seriously hurt, oh and you’ll be best friends with a mint flavored pony. Don’t forget to ask Pony Joe about his fudge donuts since you’re obviously going to tell your handler everything over them.”

She blinked at me and stopped, I confused her badly enough with bluffs that I walked up to the castle without her following me. Oddly there were no guards around. I swear, the royal guards were all seriously horrible at their jobs. I walked into the entrance and looked around at the splendor, I was quite the tourist as I approached what would be the throne room and I finally saw two guards who leveled their spears at me.

“Halt, what is your business here… uh… whatever you are?” Abyssinians really needed to become better known, we had lots of trade agreements with ponies for crying out loud! Do ponies never wonder where some of their more exotic makeup products come from?

“Abyssinian here to see Celestia about an incident, is evening court still going in the throne room?” The guards looked to one another and seemed to silently communicate with body language, they turned to me and nodded. I was led into the throne room by the two and saw Celestia with tiny reading glasses going over several papers.

I opened my mouth to speak and she suddenly looked up with me with an intense stare, before I knew it my world went black. The last thing I saw was golden pair of shoes on a beautiful white furred mare with hair like an aurora coming at me, also the glasses spinning in the air and a scattered pile of papers.

Author's Notes:

The knife's self-sustain is an effect of using it over a prolonged period, it is neither quick nor fast acting. Jade won't be a rogue in a year, it'll take a lot more than that to double class as a rogue/priest.

Chapter One, To Canterlot and Back: A pentagon is never so protective.

I came to in a bed, it was comfortable at least and kind of warm. I was probably in a direct sunbeam judging by the light on my eyelids, cats tended to lay around in the sunlight and like a cat I just felt like staying right where I was.

I didn’t fall back asleep for a few reasons.

For one I can remember the last thing I was doing and that was me walking up to Celestia, then a flash of white and colors coming at me and then darkness to now.

Another is that I was currently naked in bed, I could tell with just a bit of shifting and my tail felt something silky when I shifted it about. Being naked wouldn’t be much of a problem even if I preferred sleeping in my clothing.

For the last thing, that was actually quite troubling to me, is that upon cracking my eyes open slightly I could see that I had white feathered wings wrapped around me. If what I was feeling was correct, then those large hooves wrapped around my belly probably belonged to a rather large horse size being.

Celestia was snuggled up against me wasn’t she? I felt very awkward about this, on the one hand a pretty pony princess snuggles felt nice and on the other… this felt like situation where I needed an adult that wasn’t over a thousand years old.

“There, now that the suns up… time to rise and shine!” Her horn dimmed and she nuzzled my neck and I tried not to react negatively.

“Quick question, where are my clothes? You know, the things like my shirt with the blood stain on the shoulder.” Yeah this was both awkward and surprisingly comfortable, was I using her mane as a pillow? It smelled nice at least. “Also shining a beam of sunlight on my face is more likely to make me sleep longer.”

“Oh right, you’re an Abyssinian, always lazing about in the sun like a normal cat.” Celestia leaned over to kiss my forehead, she pulled back and loosened her grip allowing me to sit up and look her in the eyes. “I’m quite sorry about my… er… enthusiastic greeting. It’s been little more than six hundred years since I last saw a sun priest.”

“You call knocking me out enthusiastic?” I wasn’t about to deny that she was actively snuggling me. As long as it was just cuddling I was okay with it. “I also noticed that you just dodged my question.”

“You’re quite intelligent.” Celestia got up out of bed and I watched as she approached the door, she talked to someone outside before she came back to me and I gave her a raised brow. “Your shirt is being mended and cleaned, as are your other clothes. I’ve taken the liberty of… well that is to say… I may have invaded your privacy a bit.”

“With the way I woke up next to you, I hope you can word that a bit better.” I stated flatly shooting the blushing a princess a glare. “Look I came to Canterlot for a reason.”

“You mean aside from messing up the S.M.I.L.E organization by outing a Changeling in their ranks, do tell.” She snickered a bit at me keeping myself covered with the blanket. Ponies, they have no modesty. “No, I mean I had you measured so we can make something for you. How do you feel about robes?”

“Not particularly fond of them, I prefer cloaks.” That got a strange reaction, given the odd stare in my direction.

“How do you feel about staffs?” Okay where was Celestia going with this and why did I get a sinking feeling that her thoughts were completely wrong on something.

“Not fond of staves either, I’m getting pretty good with knives though. Why do you ask?” Now her ears were wilting and my suspicions were just rising by the second. “Better question, why do you think I came to Canterlot in the first place?”

“Well now, this may sound silly, but…” Those weren’t the words Celestia would say if there wasn’t some kind of misunderstanding going on here, plus she was poking both her front hooves together in a nervous manner.

“Hold on, don’t tell me… you misunderstood my reason for needing an audience with you? Can I please get my stuff back sometime today, I have to get back to the location of the crash site to make sure my mom is alright.” Now those words got a reaction out of her and I was wondering what she’d say next.

“What crash site?” Now Celestia seemed to be quite intent on hearing what I had to say and less perky, she was more attentive as her ears went straight up and her flowing mane stilled. Her smile became less real by the second and I was surprised that I could actually perceive it becoming a false one.

“You know that exploding rainbow across the sky the other day? I know someone who knows who caused that, it knocked the airship I was on out of the sky.” There was a muted look of shock on the face of the princess, I just wrapped my arms around my knees underneath the sheets while giving her an unamused look. “That rainbow wave burst the front two balloons on the airship and sent everyone overboard close to some rather pointy shoals, we were flying up the coast on our way to Manehatten when it happened. You might want to check the east coast down south for survivors or get in contact with the sea ponies in that general area to see if they saw or saved anyone recently.”

“I… why do I not know about this?” Celestia had immediately started making her way out of the room, in a fit of anger judging by the way her mane started to flow as if it were about to catch fire. It looked like she had some fish to fry.

Speaking of fish to fry, I’m hungry, who did I have to beat over the head to get some food around here? The room service is here lousy and forget bed bugs, you got entire alicorns in your bed in Canterlot Castle. At least alicorns were less annoying, I’ll give the accommodations that much.

There were some questions that I wanted to ask that wasn’t related to me getting breakfast, what does being a full on sun priest exactly entail and what was it that Celestia had expected me to say when I answered her two questions?

“Did she just leave me here and forget about me?” Well I was up a creek, where's my paddle? I wasn’t about to go walking around naked as I had a past life stigma about it. At least I wasn’t prideful enough to ignore my first option, which is calling for help. “Hello, is there anyone around here!”

“Huh, are you the one I’m supposed to be in charge of caring for?” In came a maid who froze and saw me sitting there on the bed.

“Hello there, I’m Jade and you are?” The maid seemed a little unnerved by my appearance, I was just an Abyssinian for crying out loud. There are way worst things than a cat girl that you could meet that were like cats. After a moment she gasped and shook her head realizing that she was being rude.

“I’m Fresh Start, a pleasure to make you’re acquaintance milady.” She curtsied and smiled at me, she had a floor length mixed blonde and orange mane, a bright purple coat, ruby red eyes and a maid dress that hid her cutie mark. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Get me some clothes for one, also could you get some breakfast for me while you’re at it? I can get a bath in while you’re busy with that.” I got up with the blanket still wrapped around me toga style and made my way for the bathroom, I was quickly stopped by the maid.

“Wait a second, you need to be careful with that shoulder when you wash it!” Ah yes, Fresh just had to point out the stitched up and scabbing wound. How could I ever forget that? “Also what would you like to eat?”

“A fried egg, broken yoke mixed in with the white, salt and pepper, two fresh slices of bread, a small hash brown, the fruit of the day, a waffle with butter and strawberry or blueberry syrup if available and an apple tart to finish it off.” As I rattled that out, I noticed that the earth pony had already pulled out a notepad from her dress and was immediately jotting everything down. “Okay what’s what with the shampoo or soap and where can I get a towel after I’m done?”

“What shampoo scent do you want?” She asked blithely as she looked over everything she wrote. “Favorite color for the clothes while we’re at it.”

“Kiwi, waterfall mist or sea breeze, kiwi preferred.” The maid quickly set about and gathered a bottle, a bar of soap and put a towel off to the side for and me. “My favorite color is green, I’m also partial to blue as well.”

“Okay, just be careful with that shoulder of yours. I wouldn’t want to fail in my duty to take care of you my first day on the job.” She then started to bustle off only to stop, she turned back to me. “Oh and leave the blanket by the door, I’ll take care of it and the other sheets.”

I started to run a bath and thought back to the conversation I had with Celestia, one interesting thought crossed my mind. I was right about the SM.I.L.E. director being a Changeling, that was supposed to be a bluff. What are the chances of that happening? Well, what are the chances I could walk from the train station straight to the castle without ever seeing a royal guard until I got there? Quite astronomical I’d imagine, like the sun… oh right.

I entered the mountain prayer position and did my morning routine of a sun salutation, before I hopped into a nice hot tub of water.

-Celestia-

I was quite livid, I had thought the Sonic Rainboom was incredibly beautiful. Now I was learning that nobody had informed me of incidents occurring because of it! Well I’d see what my little ponies in charge of air traffic had to say for themselves.

“Please tell me gentle ponies, why was I never informed about one or more airships crashing within my borders as an end result of that exploding rainbow more than a day ago?” I believed the sun priest, in fact I hadn’t even gotten the cats name before she rushed off. Even then, I still believed her about the crash landing.

Even when I called these ponies into this meeting and they didn’t look too particularly worried… yet. I was pretty sure they were connected to stupid things the nobles were trying to do.

“What are you talking, what crashed airships?” One of the various unicorns before me asked, I noted the lack of a single pegasus pony from air traffic control being in the room with me. “The airspace was completely clear that day, except for any Pegasus flying near cloudsdale.”

“Are you seriously going to sit there and try to cover it up when I already have proof?” I was quite certain I was going to hear something that would be telling right about…

“Oh, really, where is this so called pegasus with their proof that an airship was violating their airspace?” The unicorn came off as haughty and he decided to dig himself deeper. “As you can see, I don’t see any pegasi here trying to show their vaunted proof. Whoever it is, they are obviously lying about whatever it is they’re telling you.”

“Who said that it was a pegasus that was my proof?” That caused all the ponies in the room to gulp loudly, I had stumbled onto something and I wasn’t letting a single unicorn leave this room until I squeezed the information out of them. “Also what’s this about violating Cloudsdale’s airspace? I would really like to know, as the proof I was talking about involved an Abyssinian coming to report a crashed airship and I only just heard about it this morning. An even more important question comes to mind, what did you do with the air traffic control pegasi?”

Now that had all the unicorn ponies paling, as they hadn’t informed her of any crashed airships at all or that airships were flying in illegal airspaces they shouldn’t be. She had them and she knew it, as such today would be a good day for fighting corruption when it just gave itself away so blatantly.

-Jade-

Sitting next to my towel wrapped form was a stack of empty plates and Fresh Start was just staring at me with awe.

“Where did you even put it all?” She asked as I had just finished swallowing the last bits of egg between two slices of bread.

Stating that I starved in a previous life probably wouldn’t have gone over very well as an excuse for my rather healthy appetite.

“What can I say, I was hungry.” All she did was numbly nod at my answer, I leaned back sighing contently and started picking at my teeth with a claw.

After a lot of silence and with me relaxing with a towel around my waste, Fresh spoke up.

“Does your shoulder hurt?” One would think she was trying to make a conversation magically appear out of a hat.

“It’s fine.” I told Celestia what I came to tell her, now I had to get my stuff and get back to mom. “So about those clothes I asked for, also where’s all my other stuff?”

“Oh right, the shirt with the blood stain and the other clothing, It should finished quite soon milady.” Having said that Fresh bowed to me. “All your stuff will be returned to you soon.”

“Everything including the two black feathers in my pack?” A simple nod and I just sat there for a moment before responding. “Well the sooner you do that, the sooner I can get out of here.”

“Wait… what? Aren’t you going to stay here and help Celestia as a sun priest?” There was something akin to panic in Fresh Start’s eyes.

“I never agreed to anything and Celestia hasn’t asked me to stay so…” I dragged it out for emphasis while twirling my left hand in her direction. “I’ll just be going as soon as you get my stuff and the fresh clothes you promised me.”

“Well I did agree to something, I promised to be your maid for Celestia.” I gave Fresh Start an unconcerned look, did she do that in writing? If so, it was a serious problem for her and it was none of my business. “She said this job was important, that means I have to follow you when you leave!”

“Then you better get packing, because I’m catching the next train out of Canterlot before Celestia tries to talk me into anything.” I guess I wasn’t leaving Canterlot without at least some trouble following me, I think Celestia might just want a little bit too much of my time and she had acted rather creepy towards me.

I hoped to get out Canterlot before the guards could stop me.

Chapter One, To Canterlot and Back: A jump is never so scary.

Thanks to Fresh Start, I could now ditch the towel for a yellow shirt, unmentionables, green shorts and a forest green cloak with my fish necklace underneath. I insisted on the cloak, I was going to be a heroic rogue and nobody could stop me! I’d look into the possibilities of what the cloak can do when used as my magical alchemy sustain.

Speaking of stopping me, I noticed that Fresh Start was looking at me expectantly with her own pack. My canteen was full of water and the dried food mom made was still good.

Whatever Celestia was busy with, I better bounce before she gets back to me. If I could ditch Fresh Start on the way, then she wouldn’t get in trouble. The perfect plan right? First I had to see a phoenix about her feathers, because the feathers she molts could be useful in restoring Tempest’s horn.

“Do you know where Celestia’s friend Philomena is? It’ll keep me in the castle longer and I’ll return to the room after I bargain with her and then I will try to make my escape, I hope you’re a fast runner.” It was thanks to my wording that Fresh Start led me to phoenix’s cage and she wasn’t currently in it. Instead she was at a nearby table playing cards with three pegasus guards and she had a large pile of bird seed next to her. “Seriously… gambling? I thought the royal guard were better than that! Your even implicating Philomena too, shame on all of you.”

The phoenix chirped something unintelligible yet intelligent sounding for about thirty second, the guards around the phoenix had frozen up at our approach. They stared at me in horror at being caught out gambling bird seed with Celestia’s favorite, supposedly pet, fire bird.

Of course it might have been Philomena who started these card games, but I was going to blame these guards anyway for letting Philomena run roughshod over them like this. At least they weren’t betting bits, so they’d probably only get a few slaps on the hooves if caught.

“Yeah, I didn’t understand a word of that.” I didn’t speak phoenix and wished Fluttershy were here with me. Her special talent reads as understanding animalistic languages, it would have been really useful. “I’m not going to narc on you guys for this if that’s what you’re worried about, as I have better things I could be doing. I wanted to trade something for some of Philomena’s less useful feathers or feathers she was going to molt off anyway.”

The phoenix tilted her head and gave me a curious warble before pointing out the pile of bird seed with a wing and then poking an empty spot on the table while giving me a look.

“What’s my offer?” I received a nod from the flaming avian, I pulled out two packs of unopened plastic bags loaded with dried apricots made lovingly by my mother. “Okay, how about several bags worth of dried fruit for say… four feathers? My mom’s really good at making food and promise you’ll enjoy this.”

Philomena gave it some thought and tapped the table twice, she wanted some more. I place a bag of dried pears down and she tapped the table once more. I placed a pack of dried banana chips on the table and she shook her head no, I took that back and sighed as it seemed Philomena didn’t like bananas for some reason. I was going to regret this as mom rarely ever made these for me, but it was going to a good cause.

“Okay, so you don’t like banana chips, how about half a bag of kiwi candies?” Half a plastic bag of kiwi chunks were set on the table, I opened it up and took one out for Philomena to get a taste of. “They are rarely ever made and I can assure you that you won’t have tasted anything like them. Try one and tell me if it’s worth the price.”

Philomena took the kiwi candy and threw it in her beak, after chewing the candy a bit she froze and seemed to shiver. Yep my mom’s really good with candied fruit whenever she can get the fruit to make it. Philomena started to rapidly nod at me and pointed to the bag, I sighed sadly and placed it on the table and Philomena started preening for loose feathers. I didn’t get the four feathers I originally wanted, I instead received ten loose feathers as Philomena was making this as fair a trade as possible.

“Pleasure doing business with you Philo!” Cheerily turning about face and ignoring the happy cooing noise at my back as I stowed away the bushel of feathers in my pack, I looked to Fresh Start who was staring at me with disbelief before she started leading me back to Celestia’s room.

“I think… I might have seen some things that I really didn’t need to know.” Apparently Fresh Start’s world view was shattered, poor her.

Now time for my amazing escape plan!

-

Okay back in Celestia’s room, I have two raven feathers to burn for a casting. I moved over to the balcony and looked over the city, the view was spectacular and quite fitting for a princess who raised the sun. More importantly, I was looking for a target nobody would mind me landing on.

“So, when are we leaving?” Fresh Start asked as I saw a blond fop of a white furred stallion approaching the castle and he started talking to guards which seemed to have annoyed them quite a bit.

“Oh I’m leaving right about…” I tapped my dagger to start using it as my magical sustain and then I pulled out a raven feather and it evaporated as I used the cast on myself. I focused on targeting the blond haired unicorn, took a few steps away from the balcony and then charged towards it. “Now!”

I pushed off from the edge of the balcony and soared, my fall stopped for a second twenty feet above my target.

I gave grin back to the horrified Fresh Start as I froze in the air, then I came down upon the pony known as Prince Blueblood feet first and stomped down on his head.

I bounced off, rolled and then I started using my heightened agility to start running for it full tilt down the street.

I saw a particular donut shop and skidded to a stop, I calmly entered the establishment. Seconds later the two guards that were giving chase to me for knocking out Blueblood ran by. They were either going to thank me or arrest me for my actions, I wasn’t ready to find out which it was.

I came up to the counter and leaned on it, my tail flicking back and forth at the sweet smells permeating the room.

“Hello there… well you’re an unusual sight.” The slightly portly brown haired and beige furred Donut Joe said upon seeing me leaning against the counter with a canary eating grin. “Anyway, I’m Donut Joe what do you want?”

“Hello Double O’ Joe, I’d like at triple braided tiger tail with strawberry, vanilla and chocolate twisted in if you can manage that. Oh and a raspberry and cream cheese filled donut to go.” He seemed to freeze up as I stated his supposed secret agent name, I guess he was one S.M.I.L.E. agent that actually smiled. “I have a long trip ahead of me and I’m getting that donut for my mom so package it up. Oh and did Agent Sweetie Drops come by for the fudge donuts?”

“Yes… she did… I’ll get right on your order and will you be eating that tiger tail or do you want me to package it up like the other one?” Well he didn’t seem very put off about me knowing about him or the organization he worked with.

“I guess I’ll take it packaged too, I might not have the time to stop and eat it as I’m going to be very busy today Mr. Joe.” My bright cheerful tone made him smile. If I don’t make it to the next train out of Canterlot, then I’d have to improvise and eat the tiger tail on the road later. “Oh and can you make sure that both snacks are protected against being smashed? I might accidentally end up on my back at some point and I wouldn’t want to ruin such delectable treats.”

“Why thank you for the compliment and yes, I can do that as I tend to get a clumsy customer every now and then. She’s quite the muffin fanatic.” I waited for ten minutes and he eventually sat the bag on the counter and then cast a spell over it. “That’ll be fifteen bits.”

“The economic costs of living here huh? Well they are really big donuts, so I’m getting my money’s worth at least.” I’d be left with thirty bits, but this was going to be worth it and I was bringing mom something nice from my short trip to Canterlot. I paid him and took the bag. “Thanks Mr. Joe and see you later when I need some really delicious snacks.”

“Okay, thanks for the business and have a good day miss.” Donut Joe waved me good bye and I took off my pack to stow the paper bag away. I was going to eventually want to meet that muffin fanatic and worship her a bit, but I’d better get moving. I’ve dallied long enough for Fresh Start to start asking around for me down the street. “Oh and thanks for outing that Changeling for us!”

I exited the shop and started running again, now where was the train station?

-

“There she is, get her!” I paused in the intersection and noticed that all the ponies were parting for several guards and I could hear music starting to play around me.

So, heart songs were actually a thing here, who was singing it? It was then that I realized that a strange feeling was coming over me. Oh for the love of, it’s me!

I even knew why this magical tune sounded familiar, I just hoped I could fudge the lyrics well enough as I was outrunning the guards. I wouldn’t want to be the cause of copyright infringement even if nobody here would charge me for it.

“Have to go, all that much faster~. One skip, ahead of a burgeoning disaster~.” I said as I leapt up and over the diving armored winged mare that just plowed into the street missing me by a few feet, digging a small trench in sold stone. “I don’t want to be stuck here working for Celestia, because I just might get spiritually bored~. Quite frankly.”

“One hop, ahead of the royal guards~. Seriously, you guys are a joke~.” I pulled my knife deflected the edge of an incoming hovering spear. I grabbed it near the head, spun around and swung the blunt end of the shaft into the head of the unicorn that had been wielding it. I easily knocked him flat, I let go of the spear and kept running. Through the square towards the train station or at least I hope I was. “These guys probably wouldn’t appreciate it if it’s something against Celestia that I spoke~!”

“What’s that~?” Yelled one guard chasing after me.

“Darn cat~!” Another guard shouted angrily following his buddy.

“Stun spells, take that~!” Several unicorn guards teleported in and fired at me. I performed a hand spring up onto a bunch of boxes and then bounced off the awning of a nearby restaurant and grabbed a window. I pulled myself in and looked back at the guards glaring at me.

“Come on, can’t we talk guys~?” Even though this musical number was making me insult you something fierce.

“Catch her and book her for possibly spreading the Celestia is fat lies~!” Oh come on! That was too ridiculous for them to have sung honestly and with straight faces. I ducked out of the way of several blasts of magic hitting the window sill.

“Okay, this song has a bent~. I need to face the facts, and get out of here real soon~!” I turned and went for the window on the opposite side of the room, but apparently the musical number wasn’t done with me yet.

“Who… oh my, it’s a sad cat with the royal guards on her bottom, is she here performing some kind of silly crime~?” A sexy white furred and pink haired mare came up to me and hugged me while rubbing up against me. Oh hey, it was Fleur De Lis. “I’d suggest you get out of here, but your so cute that I’d want to cuddle you and take up your time~.”

“Have to keep moving, got to get away, I would like a signed autograph later when it’s not my freedom on the line~!” I broke free of the mare and charged for the other window and leapt out of it without looking leaving smiling Fleur looking after me. “One hop ahead of the armored, one bounce as I croon… I know for a fact that I’m not coming back anytime soon~!”

I grabbed a clothesline as I fell and slid along it into some clothes and dropped into a heap onto the ground below, oh dang I was doing a perfect imitation parody of the original song wasn’t I?

“I’m still ahead the guards, slightly flush ahead of that herd~. I think I’ll just try to stop singing before I’m captured~.” I burst away from the pile of dirtied clothes and made my way down the street with the guards on my heels, I should probably look into shoes instead of being barefoot all the time.

“Freeze bandit~! Robber~!” I turned a corner and saw a pony stealing a purse, I clotheslined the pony and threw the purse back to the owner.

“Found her~!” Several guards surrounded me and backed me towards a door and I smiled weakly.

“Come on, let’s not get all huffy~!” Then I found myself being squeezed by a giant pony that burst from the door and had seen my act of heroism.

“Because she’s rather friendly and fluffy~!” The giant blue green coated pony with the green mane said.

“Do me a quick favor, and toss me onto the roof~. Otherwise I’m going to be quite screwed~!” I’m surprised I was allowed to sing that and even more surprised when she launched me upwards.

“Hey~!” The guards yelled angrily as I started clambering across the rooftops where I had to avoid several pegasus ponies trying to grab me.

“Quick feet, ahead of their hoof beats~. (Where’s that~).” I sang, I wished this song was over with as I jumped onto another roof top and saw Celestia standing near the edge of Canterlot. I eyed her pristine looking feathers. “One lunge ahead of these jocks~. (Darn cat~!).”

“I have one trick to save me from disaster~. (Founder Her~!).” I hope this worked, I dropped down to the street and charged my way towards Celestia who looked towards me in shock. I grabbed some loose feathers as I passed by her. “They might be fast, but I can be faster~. Hey there Celestia~! Hope you can find my stand in, as I hope this is a happy landing~. See you later because now that I’ve got to… leap~!”

I jumped off the side of Canterlot.

Chapter Two, Airship Mauled: To begin anew.

-Kuril-

I sat down next to Tempest who was just watching the fire blankly, the fire that hadn’t had a single piece of wood added to it since my daughter started it. Her ability was really quite amazing, but it didn’t really seem to do all that much aside from some protection and constant warmth. Sekhet was off somewhere doing who knows what, the whimsy of the goddess was not for me to guess or judge.

“Tempest, I want to ask you something.” This was something I thought that Tempest might need, all she did was lift her left ear and she didn’t look at me. I asked my question anyway without her permission. “What did you want to eventually be when you grew up?”

“I… I don’t know… I don’t think I ever did.” Here Tempest looked away from me and she was brooding again. That wasn’t healthy for a girl her age, she was still growing and needed some motherly love.

“What did you dream of doing before you… ended up broken?” This would hurt and I knew it would, my question caused her to turn to me in anger and that anger quickly softened at the look on my face. “In more ways than one I mean.”

“I… I wanted to go to Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns with my friends.” A sudden large amount of resentment showed up on her face. “Some friends they were after my horn was broken… I learned that day that I should just rely on myself. That the best way to survive is on my own.”

“Being self-sufficient is all well and good and it can certainly get you far, but no person or pony is an island. Nobody can start anywhere in this world without help Tempest. A baby, or a foal if you will, could not have survived childhood without at least some love and care.” I moved my right hand to caress her behind the ears. I was expecting her to swat my hand away, but she just slumped slightly. The poor dear must have been so lonely. “A foal can’t really rely on themselves, would you leave foal all alone in the world if it was your own? You must have had a mother that loved you or else you wouldn’t even be here. It’s a parents job to protect their foals and yours weren’t around to make sure you were okay, but they at least made sure that you lived to be where you are now right?”

“I remember some things… a parent… might have been looking out for me. I… was too young to remember them clearly. I know they at least left me in a safe place, well mostly safe anyway. Anyone can see the end results of that. I was okay with living in my village and for a time I was happy. If only the mares and stallions around the area had been watching us a little more closely or had appointed a more watchful guardian, then maybe I might not have lost my horn.” The way Tempest was staring at the fire sadly was breaking my heart, I think it would break my daughters too if she could see Tempest like this. I looked up from her at the fire and saw Sekhet sitting in the shadow of a tree across from us with a frown on her face and her orange eyes glowing in the shade. “We were being raised communally, I only had my friends and they… they just… abandoned me.”

Tears started to fill Tempest’s eyes and I brought her head into my lap to start stroking her head.

“It’s all because my broken horn scared them off, it’s like it pours liquid magic whenever I try to use it and I just can’t help but try to. I wanted to be able to do magic again and that’s why I’m wandering around trying to find a way to fix it, so maybe one day I can… I can feel normal again. Maybe… even rekindle what we had. Even though I know it’s long gone.” It was a surprise that Tempest was actually opening up to me, I thought it would be much harder to break her shell. “I… might have had one adult that cared about me back in my village, but I haven’t actually seen them in years. If they’re even still around.”

I continued to silently listen to her and stroked her mane softly, she needed to let it all out. This must have been bottled up for a long time.

“I don’t know what became of my parents, but I guess I was too young and innocent to understand that they were gone...” I could hear Tempest choking off a sob. “That I was missing something big in my life.”

“Do you want me to stop petting you?” It was a concern of mine that Tempest was hitting an emotional breaking point and I was the cause.

“No… please… don’t stop.” Tempest wrapped her hooves around my waist and held me tight. “I… I want to feel… like somebody cares. That maybe… maybe I won’t be treated like something that’s about to explode violently.”

“That’s funny, because I do care.” I leaned forward and kissed the mare on my lap on her left temple. “Opening yourself up to others can hurt, but it isn’t just you that can be hurt. You can hurt others as well and I don’t just mean physically. Since we’re talking about ourselves I might as well tell you something about myself and my daughter.”

Tempest grunted a bit, but she didn’t remove herself from my lap. I got her comfortable with me and I wasn’t about to push her away, she needed all the attention she could get.

“When I was a little kitten, I always wanted to do magic and to learn about the world around me. I wanted to travel, to see and do amazing things. Eventually… those dreams died when I couldn’t figure out how to do magic. In fact, I couldn’t get enchanting down at all and that was something Abyssinians could actually do in a limited fashion.” This was my trip down memory lane, as soon as I was done talking about it I would move on to my daughter. Bless her reincarnated soul, I hope she’s okay. No mother should outlive their child. “I put my dreams aside and settled for being a cook in a lazy little coastal town, one where fishing is a pastime that everyone knows. Also fish jerky is consumed daily and in metric tons.”

Tempest snorted and her tears slowed a bit, she looked up at me and while there was anger at the world, there was something akin to a small spark of innocence still left in her that hadn’t been stamped out by her bitter lot in life. No child should be like this, not even my daughter, who I was doing my best to raise even if she had a prior history. Why if I were to die right now… my daughter would die the same way she did last time. Alone and completely starved of love, I don’t want that to happen to her again.

I want Jade to live a fulfilling life… the life I never got until recently. I pretended to be strong for her, to be the O and O character I always dreamed I could be, but it’s so hard some days.

“It shattered me to know that I couldn’t be magical, to know that I couldn’t do amazing things. I didn’t feel special at all.” I suddenly had a captive audience in Tempest, she was staring at me… if not in understanding then at least she could feel as I do. “But you know what? I think I gave up way too soon… It wasn’t until Jade came along that I learned that every single person, pony or even every intelligent being in existence can’t be replaced so easily. You can’t be replaced either Tempest… and… I want you to stick around. If not for me, then for my daughter’s sake. If something were to happen to me… well I’m all that she has at the moment.”

Tempest just stared at me with wonder, as if she’s never been offered a place with a family before. She lifted her left hoof and slowly gripped my right hand with it. I gripped the hoof back and gave her determined look as I felt tears filling my eyes, but I continued the tale of my life.

“I grew into a bitter and rather jaded adult, it’s kind of why I named my daughter Jaded.” I couldn’t live my dreams and then I get pregnant, which was a miracle to me considering my partner. I didn’t think I could carry a child to term or even raise one, I didn’t believe in myself. If it hadn’t been for the people of Palicoast… all of them had banded together just for me. A little tight knit community filled to the brim with compassion. “It took me getting pregnant with Jade to know that I had some magic in me, that I could bring life into the world. The one bit of magic I could perform and it was a bittersweet event, Jade came into the world with only one parent.”

I noticed Sekhet just staring at us thoughtfully, she was still sitting in the shade and not joining us in our conversation. It made me consider how goddesses are born and the circumstances under which they are raised. They live for so long and must be so lonely, seeing us like this just might be rekindling something in her or its making her feel more and more like an outsider.

“I wouldn’t have been able to make it if the people of Palicoast hadn’t been there for me. I wouldn’t have made it and Jade wouldn’t have been given a chance to be brought into this world, to do the things I never could.” I pulled Tempest into a tight hug, she hugged me back. Shared pain is halved, when shared the same. “There are just some things you can’t do alone Tempest, it’s something I want you to learn from someone who knows what’s it like. I… I even know how you feel.”

We just sat in silence for a minute to let that sink in as we held one another, an Abyssinian that’s growing older and a growing young mare who still had her entire life ahead of her. One of which Tempest seemed determined to waste getting back what was lost, she direly needed a family.

“My daughter was… interesting… for the first few years of her life. I already knew she was magical with that green hair of hers, she only got more interesting when she started talking. She didn’t exactly have too many friends growing up as there weren’t many Abyssinians born around the time that she was.” Oh the memories, how they made me smile. My best friend is my daughter and I hers, which was sad as Jade had been born between generations and had no friends her age to relate to in her second life. A life I won’t let her squander. “She was what kept me going in a dreary world, then we both discovered that we could do our own form of magic and it reignited a dream in me I had thought long since dead. It’s why I want to call myself the ‘Witch of Good Taste’ now, I will keep doing magic to my dying days and I will not stop trying to live the dreams I once had. My daughter needs more people in her life to keep pushing her to follow a dream, I hope that you will be one of them.”

It’s why I shut down the canteen in Palicoast and decided to try my hand at living in the future Equestria that Jade had talked about fondly. A future world where many creatures can come together in friendship. I want my daughter to be happy and I’ll work towards such a future my own way. We might not have been part of the original plot, but darn it if we weren’t going to mess it up so badly that it still happened anyway in spite of the changes we’re making. I will make that bright future shine with everything I have!

I looked at Tempest curiously and she looked away, she seemed to be thinking about things. I now had something to tell her and she needed to hear this like yesterday. I noticed her probing her broken horn with her right hoof.

“If you can’t use your horn to do magic, then why don’t you try doing other forms of magic or try doing magic in a different way?” This would strike her like lighting, but it had to be said and I was going to be the one to say it. “I learned to do magic when I thought I couldn’t, then why can’t you do the same? Just because you have a broken horn doesn’t mean you should give up on your dreams or even try making new ones, it doesn’t mean you need to get it fixed to do magic. Fixing your horn shouldn’t define everything you are, but you shouldn’t give up on that either! If you can’t do something, then find a new way to do it. Break the mold! You’re a magical pony aren’t you? Show some creativity then. Also… don’t give up on having friends, my daughter is awkward enough as it is and she needs as many as she can get.”

Tempest looked at me with wide eyes, we stared at each other and I smiled at her. Slowly she leaned her head against my belly and curled up against me.

“Thank you…” A few minutes of holding me and sobbing, she slowly calmed down and she finally spoke to me while flicking an ear. “Could you…”

I started petting her again and she sighed happily, probably the first time she’s been happy in a long time.

“When it seems like the world isn’t fair, when your life’s a mess and no one seems to care.” It is said that when you do a great good deed, an angel gets their wings. Pegasi were like angels right? I wouldn’t know, I was just trying to cheer up Tempest. “Just tell someone and a real friend might appear there, to help you pick up the pieces and will help make things square.”

I looked up at Sekhet and she had her back to me, but I could see the upturned corner of her mouth. A goddess that enjoys watching others heal… interesting.

“My name is Fizzlepop Berrytwist.” My attention returned to Tempest and I was a little honored that she was willing to tell me who she really was. “Can we… can we be friends?”

“We already are Fizzle. You, me and my daughter.” I glanced in the direction of the retreating giant lion tailed goddess. “Even Sekhet, which is if she wants to be friends with us.”

-Jade-

I was falling, the air whipping by as my velocity started increasing to its maximum. I clutched desperately at the white feather in my left hand. I believed I would survive, I was afraid of being wrong.

I clenched my eyes shut and cast, a bright blinding light and tinkling noise followed.

I was... flying?

I had wings!

Author's Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMS4rMJpYo4

Let's not forget, casts are always powerful... if exceedingly temporary.

Magical Alchemy List.

1. Fish Bones (simple).

Cast: Water breathing (Temporary passive water terrain survival buff). Breathing water as if you had gills, permanence can be achieved with repeated casts.

Sustain: Swimming efficiency and deep water survivability increases.

Self-Sustaining: Luminescence. Once used as a sustain effect, bones glow softly on their own.

2. Fish Scales (simple).

Cast: Fish Scale Skin (Temporary defense buff). Possible permanence with multiple casts, more effective underwater.

Sustain: Water Projection (Offensive ability). Able to spit or project volatile volumes of water, drains fluids from body with excessive use. You can actively control the volumes of water you project and how focused that projection is.

Self-Sustaining: None.

3. Raven Feather. (New Information!)

Cast: Survive a fall, fall on something safely or possibly target launches and falls on something by user’s choice or at random. (One time air terrain survival buff, possible Offensive ability). (New!) Target tends to end up freezing twenty feet above something living.

Sustain:???.

Self-sustaining: ???.

4. Sunlight.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Smoke signaling. Causes smoke to appear as if something was burning.

Self-sustaining: Warms the planet.

5. Knife.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Rogue Enhancements (Continuous passive buff). Heightened dexterity, agility and environmental awareness.

Sustain side effect: Inability to sleep or relax.

Self-sustaining: Trains muscles and exercises body for similar maneuvers used while wielding the sustain effect.

6. Knife Sheath

Cast: Traps one target temporarily (One use support spell). Time limit for stopping a target is the same every time for sheaths of similar design. Sheaths for different or larger weapons ‘probably’ improves time limit.

Sustain: Increased protection against knives, arrows and other small bladed weapons (Continuous passive buff). Warning: Does not protect against anything larger, or anything else for that matter.

Self-sustaining: None.

(New Magical Alchemy)

7. Alicorn Feather (Celestia).

Cast: Wings of sunlight! (Limited air terrain mobility buff.) Target is given wings of pure sunlight. (More information is needed.)

Sustain: ???.

Self-sustaining: ???.

Chapter Two, Airship Mauled: To begin a flight.

-Spitfire-

I was a rising pegasus rookie in the Wonder Bolts and lately… things have been pretty weird in Canterlot since Celestia put the royal guard on high alert. The guard had been catching things left and right all day yesterday. They were putting out previously undiscovered figurative fires all over the city, who the buck would embezzle an orphanages funding? It’s stallions like that that make me despise nobles sometimes.

There were just some things that weren’t right here in Canterlot, then there was the odd stranger that the guards were supposed to be looking out for.

Where did they find this stranger? Escaping from Canterlot Castle under mysterious circumstances. Even I was curious as to what she had been doing there, apparently there were a lot of rumors about the cat and nothing criminally substantial other than badly mussing up Blueblood’s mane while knocking him out with a stomp to the head. A lot of the royal guards would have wanted to thank the being who was unafraid to do that.

As per usual nature of our lands, a spontaneous musical broke out in the streets. Only this one had an interesting beat to it and it was surrounding the singing cat in the cloak running from the guards, I was impressed that she could sing while running like that. The cat even gave Sturdy Spear a fierce knock to the head with his own weapon for trying to slow her down with violence, she even sung a scathing line about the royal guard and she wasn’t exactly wrong.

At least my squad could keep up with her, we even witnessed her stop another crime in progress while the royal guards were still trying to chase her down. I thought it odd that a supposed criminal would stop to put down another one, it got some guards off her butt at least. So I’ll give her a win on that one and some benefit of a doubt that she was a real criminal.

When she was launched onto the roof tops by the… let’s face it, she was a chubby large bulky pony of a mare with a cutie mark of her own face on it. Larger than life that one. We took our chances to try and grab the cat as she jumped across the rooftops. She was unusually agile for her scrawny appearance and the music even had me singing ‘darn cat’ after I slammed into the rooftop trying to grab her.

It was near the edge of Canterlot that the cat did something that got me and many of the other guards angry, the music was hitting a crescendo as she snatched some loose feathers from one of Celestia’s wings. I was now definitely taking that as a personal offense against Princess Celestia, who just looked after the cat in utter confusion. Wasn’t this the unusual visitor that she had warned the guard about?

The cat then had the gall, and even some very large stones, to just jump right off the side of Canterlot. Was she crazy, what was going on? Celestia moved towards the edge while looking worried and we flew up right next to her.

“Don’t worry Celestia, we’ll catch that feather stealing feline before she goes splat!” I turned to my friends and comrades. “Soarin, Fleetfoot, Surprise, Blaze, come on, let’s catch us a cat burglar!”

“No, why would she…!” Celestia’s frightened eyes weren’t on us or me, but on the form still falling through the air and then a bright blinding light shined from the cat and a loud tinkling noise rang throughout the area. It made us all pause and then, the cat was flying on wings made out of pure light as if it was from the sun itself. “W-What… she’s… that’s incredible… I’ve never seen any of them do something like that before!”

“Well of course she chooses now of all times to learn how to fly, let’s move!” I swooped down after the cat with my friends following my lead. Celestia started saying something and I yelled back. “Don’t worry about us princess, we won’t endanger ourselves unnecessarily!”

-Celestia-

I am the sun princess of pony kind, the crown is always so heavy upon my head and my false smile is a rictus that I wish wasn’t needed to appease my little ponies.

“Wait! I-I don’t want you to… hurt…. her…” It was too late, the youthful Wonder Bolts squad was already out of ear shot before I could finish telling them what I wanted and they were after the admittedly strange Abyssinian.

Where had this all gone so wrong? I… I just wanted to talk to the sun priest, not have her arrested! I mean, I might have been a bit too… hasty… in my assumptions that she was here to help me and join my court I admit. Seeing her jumping over the edge of Canterlot scared several years off of me, thanks to my longevity that wasn’t the issue. I didn’t even care that she had stolen some of my loose feathers.

I just… I wanted a friend who knew how the sun truly felt. I never even got the sun priestess’s name or even had a chance to explain myself.

Though I did kind of spook her when she woke up, curse my natural habit to doing naturally awkward things… and that was supposed to be a prank! I… I should have known better. I mean after Sunset… I tried not to remember that. I was blocking out the memories of those once innocent eyes slowly becoming filled with greed that I didn’t curb at all.

There were plenty of moon priests still around and they were waiting on Luna to be free of being Nightmare Moon, they were still telling the very real tale of Luna’s sealing. I even had a prophecy to that effect, one that I had hoped I would be able to handle with some ample help from the young Abyssinian that came to inform me of an airship crashing thanks to that Sonic Rain Boom.

Even if I had stamped out most of the truth of the matter in the public eye, it still bothered me that there was a holiday based around my sister’s fall to darkness. Nightmare Night was my most hated holiday, one that many ponies have come to enjoy.

The moon priests didn’t hate me, but they didn’t want much to do with me either. They were all thestrals, so I could understand why. They were nocturnal and they hadn’t helped Luna a thousand years ago and they regretted failing the princess of the moon every single day since through the various generations.

We shared our regrets. Even if we weren’t too great at working with one another, I still received thestrals for the night guard. They were always Luna’s knights, I shouldn’t even be in charge of them.

I had to find out why the Abyssinian was on the run like that and just what kind of mess my guards had started! I also needed to focus on other things… like Twilight, yes I needed to focus on her and the baby dragon that was born not too long ago. I couldn’t let myself get too caught up in this, even if it was my fault and I had to live with the consequences.

If the priest ever came back, I would approach her personally and apologize for all the trouble that I’ve caused her. I would absolve her of any crimes she may have committed today in her fleeing of Canterlot, it was all… just a big misunderstanding. A misunderstanding I should have paid more attention to, I thought I was better than this after what happened to Luna because of my ignorance.

-Jade-

Well I could say that partially fit into the role of a rogue now, a rogue priest that does what she will! What I’m going to do now is fly and I felt a brilliant song building in my heart with the music. I had expected a different effect, maybe feather falling or I become ‘light’ enough that my fall would have slowed to a safe speed.

I was not expecting wings or another song after the first one, but the magic filling me wanted me to sing again and I couldn’t help it or stop the words from exiting my mouth. I was getting really tired of musical numbers. If you ever come to Equestria, this is what will happen to you even if you aren’t a pony.

“What is this feeling, that I feel~? Am I flying, is this for real~? At least I’m not splattering across the ground and dying~!” I passed under the cloud and suddenly my wings dimmed and started fade until I got back into the sunlight, I had fallen quite a distance thanks to that. Passing under that cloud had weakened my magical wings tremendously. “It appears that my magical wings are really bright~! And they just happen to be made of pure sunlight~! This is certainly not a spell I’d want to use around the time of midnight~. I certainly enjoy this soaring feeling as I burst through the sky~! My heart swells and I feel as if the air itself can tell no lie~. As I feel free, like that all is quite well and that I am happy~.”

“Hey you get back here you stupid crazy cat~. Do you really think we’ll let you get away, especially with stealing the princesses feathers just like that~!” I turned and saw a young yellow furred Spitfire singing to the tune of the whimsical music that had me feeling great. “We’ll show you what us Wonder Bolts can do~. Because we’re a flying team unlike you~! Form up Soarin with Surprise and Fleetfoot with Blaze~. I am Spitfire and I can keep flying for days~! We’re coming for you and you’ll see, that you’re not getting away from them or me~!”

My good feelings were certainly gone now and at least the music wasn’t urging me to sing anymore. Apparently the magic won’t force you if you were upset enough about it, good to know as I turned and started fleeing towards the south with the five Wonder Bolts coming after me.

There was a certain irony of this situation, it was that I had to stay in sunlight or my wings would weaken and become faded making my flying become a crawl. Which was of course, bad. I couldn’t stay too high off the ground either, because when the cast ended… Yeah, I might want to fly as quickly as I can while avoiding the Wonder Bolts.

Spitfire swooped at me and I swerved out of her way. I started to fly lower and towards a lake with that flaming mane on my butt with her four friends flying higher and keeping up with us. Didn’t a goddess control a similar spell like this for her chosen hero?

Well I don’t think I had an auto-pilot like that, also I didn’t know how to fight in the air like this. This was the first time I’ve ever flown before.

I swerved and rolled between several trees and amazingly Spitfire was keeping up with me. I had been slowed down by nicking the shade and shadows too much. She was also using my wake to accelerate at me, her friends were just likely waiting for an opportunity to come at me themselves.

Idea! I swerved towards the lake and skimmed across the lake at high speeds and instinctively straightened out the energy wings on my back. Jets of water sprung up behind me and upon catching the tips of my wings they immediately turned into clouds from the heat the wings were giving off.

I lifted away to see that Spitfire was shaking her hoof at me, she had gotten stuck in the straight line of cloud that I left hovering over the lake.

Spitfire had thankfully lost all her momentum. I’m glad I remembered that clouds were, relatively, solid for winged ponies and I found out that I didn’t really need to flap my wings all too hard to get some height again. I was still moving at an incredible speed as I approached Ponyville, that’s when Soarin and Surprise swooped down and sped up towards me.

They chased me down the streets at high speeds above a bunch of surprised ponies, I tightly swerved and turned corners on a dime. Why did this feel so easy, when flying should have been far more difficult than this? Oh right, I was still using my knife as my magical sustain and it seems to be greatly improving the effects of my cast.

Blaze and Fleetfoot were still flying high, while Soarin and Surprise were literally almost on my tail. I swerved down a street and suddenly, I felt something get shoved into my hands. I looked down at the wrapped up cupcake with a note on it and I looked back to see a smiling Pinkie Pie. Soarin was on his back with his face was covered in the remains of a cupcake and Surprise had stopped to sit down and eat her sugary snack, much to my surprise that she wasn’t continuing pursuit.

I smiled stowing away the cupcake and gave a nod to Pinkie, she just winked at me and stuck out her tongue cheekily. Apparently I had flown by Sugar Cube Corner and she had to have used her Pinkie Sense to set that up. I should do her a big favor sometime later.

I quickly angled upwards sharply and shot towards Cloudsdale, I was veering around patches of shadow from the clouds above me and avoiding my wings being hit with any kind of darkness. I’d try losing the last two Wonder Bolts in the drifty city, I might even see Fluttershy on the way. I just couldn’t stick around, because who knew how long these wings would last me.

Blaze and Fleetfoot were catching up as I reached the edge of the cloud city and I started swooping around the many pillars and other Greek styled cloud architecture. I was trying not to be out the sunlight for too long. I flew over a home and saw Fluttershy talking to Rainbow shyly, I swooped for them.

“Hey Fluttershy, bye Fluttershy!” I had made the poor filly squeak and fall on her back before she got up and looked after me. At least her friend seemed excited about the two Wonder Bolts still trailing after me, I just couldn’t shake them.

Flying between clouds and the houses built out of them, I swerved through air traffic. I even performed a quick loop when they got too close. The two ponies on me just wouldn’t give up, then I had another idea.

I dove down sharply with my claws out and forward, air pressure building up and…

I would like to silently apologize for anyone inconvenienced by this like me and my mom were days prior.

I exploded downwards creating a small Sonic Light Boom that sent my dazed pursuers flying, then I went horizontal and kept going.

It was quite unfortunate for me that I wasn’t built to handle the stress of moving so fast and I was beginning to black out from the pressure of several G's being put on my body.

I was soon the center of a blazing corona of light heading south... and I wasn't exactly in control of it.

Author's Notes:

The chapter titles will never be normal, that said. Also Cat burglar is a horrible pun when in reference to an Abyssinian.

(New magical alchemy information!)

5. Knife.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Rogue Enhancements (Continuous passive buff). Heightened dexterity, agility and environmental awareness. (New Information!) Strengthens all mobility based buffs.

Sustain side effect: Inability to sleep or relax.

Self-sustaining: Trains muscles and exercises body for similar maneuvers used while wielding the sustain effect.

7. Alicorn Feather (Celestia).

Cast: Wings of sunlight (Limited air terrain mobility buff). Target is given wings of pure sunlight. (New Information!) Darkness, shade or shadows can weaken the flying power the wings generate, at night they'd be far less effective. The power of the wings can be combined with a knife's or similar sustain effects for improved flying ability. The wings might be extinguished by water and could be useless while it’s raining.

Sustain: ???.

Self-sustaining: ???.

Chapter Two, Airship Mauled: To begin a game.

-Sekhet-

Why was I even still bothering with these mortals? I guess I just want the luxury of being able to talk to someone. I’ve lived quite fine in peace until Lady Kuril dropped an already crashing airship on my head. If I didn’t know I could heal from it, I would swear it’s the head injury keeping me here.

When the airship hit me, I had felt the revenge of the many workers who did all the, quite literally, back breaking work in turmoil so many years ago when it came to building in the desert. The structures they built have lasted a long time and were considered quite the mortal achievement in architecture. It made me wonder if my anti-flight zone curse is still on that temple, I can do things that last as long too you know.

Talking was a luxury I could afford, as was keeping up with the times and all the advancements going on in the world. I was at least up to date with the world, because every once in a while I go visit nearby civilizations in disguise and most won’t even recognize me when I do.

I guessed that I was sticking around here for the freshly cooked magical food, I no longer had any reason to hound the two Abyssinians and I was even beginning to respect them quite a bit. My interest right now was watching the young broken pony heal spiritually. As the priest… well, as the rogue priest Jade had alluded to me, I had not paid enough attention to the healing aspect of myself in a long time. The only exception was healing myself from injuries and not others which was actually a part of my healing prowess.

I’ve been a huntress for hundreds of years, one that many a creature has come to fear earning the ire of or even a smidgen of my grand attention. Not once had I stopped to save lives in equal numbers as those I took, I’ve been quite greedy and lazy. I’m not bothered about my decadent life style up until now as I’m quite sure that Anubis made use of those deaths, but I wished for something new to do after so long.

I was a goddess who was powerful, wise and magical… also a tad lonely as finding any ‘good’ immortal companionship is quite hard.

All mortal lives are really quite short, but they made for excellent companions like no other and most immortal beings tended to forget that. They also forget that without mortals, we wouldn’t have much reason to be around and I had definitely lost my reason to be around a long time ago. Free time was never going to be an issue for me.

I know Celestia hasn’t forgotten the importance of mortals, especially not an unusual one like Jade. Being a young goddess helped the sun princess, but she certainly has problems controlling all of her rambunctious mortals. At least she is doing a better job to keep them thriving than I or even Bastet could with our own.

This is why I want to help the broken unicorn, it was something different to do after all that hunting day in and out. It was a dream, a really long vacation if you will, that I finally woke up from and finally decided to do something else.

I can’t just give the mortal her horn back, but I can continue to aid in the recovery of her spirit with some careful guidance. Said spirit is no longer completely in a dark place thanks to the rogue sun priest’s mother, but it needed to be brought further into the light of day.

I might even help Fizzle become a warrior if she wishes to learn how to fend for herself better. She will never be able to cast magic in a controlled manner, but bigger more complicated wide ranging spells should still be possible for her if Priest Jade and Lady Kuril can’t help her.

That got me thinking about sun priests.

Ah yes, sun priests, always the guiding lights even when they don’t realize it. They don’t even need to know where they are going or even to act in any given specific way, they will always find a home somewhere and people will always come to them for guidance or help. It is inevitable, even if they aren’t acting like the traditional idea of what a priest is.

If I had to guess, Celestia would have expected robes, staves and a sense of tradition with Jade. She would be sorely disappointed as Jade wasn’t fit for such an arbitrary mold.

It was another reason for me to stick around, it’ll be amusing to see what kind of trouble Jade could get into. It has been a long time since a priestess like her has been around, Jade was quite a rarity to run into these days and many would want her help even if they don’t know what they are in for by asking for it.

I’m quite certain Jade doesn’t know either, no one has told her yet as far as I know and all she would have to do is to know to ask me. I wasn’t about to tell her if she didn’t want to know after all. Don’t mind the toothy smile on my face, it’s nothing of importance.

I can make sure that Jade isn’t taken advantage of by anyone… but what would be the fun in that? Who would even know how to take advantage anyway? Mortals learned more from their mistakes than they do from doing everything right the first time. It’s like how I can forgive many slights, but I’ll never forget them… ever.

Speaking of the solar priest… I feel her coming. She shines brightly to those who know what to look for and she’s coming this way quite fast, my curiosity is now piqued.

I think Jade might be in need of a little divine intervention, who am I as a goddess to not respond to such a need? This is the beginning of a new chapter in my long, long life. It might even be quite the read.

“Your daughter is coming back and she’ll be here in approximately a minute.” I think Kurilian misunderstood my meaning and got up to look in the directions Jade would have probably walked in from, that is if she had been walking.

“I don’t see my little tom cat.” Of course you wouldn’t Lady Kuril, I can sense that she’s actually coming at us a lot higher than an Abyssinian is supposed to be. Flying at such a speeds cannot be healthy for such a fragile mortal.

Even the recently named Fizzle was confused as she didn’t see Jade coming either, but I knew and didn’t need to see. I could feel her just fine.

“I did not say she would be walking here, watch the north… and you will soon see something of great interest.” I spread my wings while chuckling with mirth and lifted myself up into the air straight into Jade’s path. “In fact I’ll just show you when she comes in, it’ll be quite the sight I think.”

Getting high enough I closed my eyes, I spread out my front legs straight out from my sides and brought my rear ones together underneath me to start hovering in the air without the need to flap my mighty wings. I didn’t need to see the glow forming before me or what it was doing, it is my ancient power at work. It has been quite a while since I flexed my magical muscles.

If one were to look at me, then one would see a faint ankh shaped glow coming from my body. The soul, the life that drives the body, this is what an ankh represented and anyone who would defile a soul would earn my ultimate rage and I would not hold an ounce of my power at bay.

This was just me naturally using my magic, the center of my being, in a more visible and showy fashion. I was showing off even if I didn’t have to, I absolutely wanted to! Jade knows of me and my distant sister in legend, well it’s about time I returned from said ancient legends, for I am Sekhet!

A dot of light slowly created a circle in the air as I hummed softly and concentrated. I opened my eyes and there was a two dimensional circle of magic that filled in immediately before me in the air, I now waited for her to come.

A bright blazing light approached me and then hit the circle dead center, it appears that I have not lost my touch at all and have safely caught the poor feline. It might have been my sister’s job to protect the Abyssinians and others of cat kind, but she isn’t exactly here is she?

The middle of the circle stretched and then the circle collapsed around the bright light into a bubble, the end result left a figure floating in the middle of it. It was Jade and she had the most beauteous looking wings made of sunlight.

I was somewhat impressed that she still got back in one piece even when she wasn’t conscious and looking at her body, I could tell that she was going to be quite sore for a while. She needed to rest and I would not rouse her from her slumber.

I came down with the bubble between my paws, both Kuril and Fizzle looked at the sleeping form inside of it.

“She is fine, but she needs time to rest. She’s obviously had a busy morning and she might be up for dinner this evening or breakfast on the morrow.” I popped the bubble and gently sat Jade on the ground while removing her pack, her hair was like glopaz in the sun. It reminded me of Somnambula dealing with an exceedingly irritating snake, so many memories of watching mortals from a distance.

It was feeling quite nostalgic, I would like to help build something from all these feelings.

-Fizzlepop ‘Tempest’ Berrytwist-

I was too busy staring at the wings sprouting from Jade’s back to notice anything else, how did she get wings? Was this part of something about getting my horn back? I… after my talk with Ms. La Perm I just… it just didn’t feel as important to me anymore.

Jade looked to be in pretty bad condition and she had been that ball of light shooting across the sky. I was actually afraid for someone else… I mean I haven’t even told Jade that I want to be friends yet or my real name for that matter.

I know I hadn’t been very talkative and these last two days have been… strange. Strange like the warm campfire that never went out or was never unbearable to be near, in fact it was very comforting to know it was still there.

A loud cracking noise was heard and the wings dissipated into thin air, they had been going for the last few minutes I had been staring at them in awe. I, Kuril and Sekhet were all staring at Jade now.

“That was some powerful magic, especially if she flew here all the way from Canterlot on them.” If Sekhet said something was powerful and was a goddess as both Jade and Kuril believe she is, then I knew it was a fact.

Those wings weren’t permanent, I felt a little upset about that as I had wanted to touch them. I wasn’t about to disturb Jade’s rest to talk about it, she looked like she needed it.

I watched as Kuril tucked her daughter in with a blanket, and put a pillow beneath her head with a warm smile. I wished some days that someone could do that for… maybe she would if I bothered to ask.

“Well Jade’s fine, what do we do now? Oh wait… you don’t have a complete education do you Fizzle?” Kuril turned to me and I blinked owlishly at her. An education? I was plenty smart enough as is.

“I would think not, if she has been wandering for as long as I think she has.” What would Sekhet know about me? I’m plenty smart enough, all unicorns are great at retaining knowledge. “She is at least world smart, learning by the experience of her travels. What she would be missing is a more classical education now that you mention it. I can teach math quite well and I’ve personally lived through and watched history unfold, do you know how to read or write?”

“Of course I do!” I wasn’t an imbecile, give me some credit here. I just stopped going to school when I set out to find a way to fix my broken horn. I was quite educated, thank you! “If you’re so worried about how smart I am, then what of Jade?”

“Jade’s somewhat horrible at complicated math, but she’s knows a lot of mythology, monsters, history and quite a bit about magic as you all very well know. I should show you how she plays a game of Ogre’s and Oubliettes sometime, our gaming pack survived the crash and we can even play the game some until I have to cook dinner.” What Kuril said surprised me a little, Jade was bad at math? I would not have pegged her for it given that she can do powerful magic that gave her those strange looking wings temporarily. “I might have neglected her education a bit by coming here to Equestria, but she really doesn’t need that much of an education.”

I was quite good at math personally. Unicorns needed math to perform some of the most complex spells in existence, yet Jade was doing spells without needing to know said complex math. It actually had me hoping that I could learn to do magic in spite of my… disability. It’s just that no one had tried to do magic differently than what was taught in schools, it wasn’t necessary for them to do so. For me, it was a necessity.

“Jade’s education is fine, especially since she can identify who I am. That's all the education she needs.” The sphinx just puffed herself up with pride, Sekhet was kind of weird to me and a bit terrifying. She was clearly powerful and dangerous, an Ursa Medium wouldn’t go down so easily to someone who wasn’t. “What is this Ogre’s and Oubliettes game though? If it is entertainment, then I could give it a try.”

“It’s a fantasy roleplaying game, one that actually has some real life applications.” Started off Kuril. I hadn’t had fun in a long time and I was interested in where this was going. “It’s like designing a different you. A character you create that plays a role by going on imaginary adventures with a specific set of rules in place regarding what that character can and can’t do, said rules make luck and chance decide the outcome of what happens to the character you or others design within reason.”

“Describe your character to me so I can get a better grasp of the concept…” Said an equally interested Sekhet, I then turned to Kuril as I too was curious enough.

“I’ll do you one, better.” The way Kuril was rubbing her hands together had me worried. “I’ll help you and Fizzle create your own characters and we’ll party up!”

Chapter Two, Airship Mauled: To begin a fresh start.

-Fresh Start-

Okay, I knew she flew to the south, I’ll just keep going that way until I find her. Celestia wasn’t upset with me, but she did tell me to go find Jade and to keep doing my job to make sure that she stayed healthy. She also gave me a note of apology, once and if I find her. She hadn’t even known Jade’s name before I told her.

I have to wonder what was so special about her that Celestia had me going to all this trouble. Well there is the fact that she jumped off a balcony and then froze in midair before dropping onto Blueblood’s skull. The staff at Canterlot Castle couldn’t stop talking about it, a few of them wanted to thank Jade for saving them from another Blueblood alert. There was also jumping off the edge of Canterlot and sprouting wings, the young Wonder Bolts squad had lost her when she exploded into a ball of light heading south.

She had passed through two places of importance, one was Ponyville and the other was Cloudsdale. I was going to stop by Ponyville and ask around if anyone knew where Jade could have went.

It still surprises me that Jade wasn’t guilty of any crime, aside from landing on Blueblood and no one could prove she did that on purpose. The guards were awfully tight lipped about whether or not it looked like a purposeful stomp to the head too. I knew the score, they were trying to cover for Jade. Unlike the many other guards that had been chasing Jade while harboring a huge misunderstanding of the situation.

Jade had even stopped a crime while being pursued by the royal guard, so Celestia said she was to be commended for her swift actions of civilian justice without permanently injuring the thief. Nobody was complaining to Celestia about that except maybe Sturdy Spear, his case wouldn’t hold up as he did kind of go at Jade with lethal intent so it was a case of self-defense. The case would have been thrown out immediately, because Sturdy Spear himself would have been put on trial soon after.

How did one Abyssinian cause so much chaos without any negative repercussions to herself? A Hoofdini in the making from what I know. Celestia seemed to be interested in Jade’s overall safety when it looked like Jade could take care of herself, especially when she could outrun the whole royal guard. It needed to be stated, if Shining Armor hadn’t been busy with Princess Cadence then maybe Jade might have actually been caught.

The only thing I can think to charge Jade with is causing a riot, a laugh riot. She had stopped to buy snacks in the middle of the chase and even waited for them to be finished, not one guard saw her entering or exiting Donut Joe’s establishment. Ponies said she wandered around aimlessly for a good ten minutes before the guards even spotted her again to begin the song and dance.

I’m catching a train to Ponyville and should be there in the evening. I kind of wondered though… did Jade get Fleur’s autograph when they met one another? It was mentioned that Jade trespassed in her home, but she wasn’t willing to press charges and just wanted to snuggle the Abyssinian more. Fleur De Lis really liked cats, who knew? A lot of ponies had Fleur pegged for being more of a dog pony.

I heard there’s a pony in Ponyville who’s friends with an Abyssinian, given there’s only been the one around here it wasn’t hard to guess who that Abyssinian was. I’d spend the night and then talk to the pink pony in the morning at the local bakery to see if she knows where I can find Jade.

-Jade-

I smelled something, a smelly smell, a smell I’m quite familiar with and it was heavenly. I immediately jumped up and then flopped onto my face on the blanket, every inch of my body felt sore. It was late in the evening and whatever that smell was it was entrancing.

“You’re dead Sphinx.” I heard my mother flatly intoned, it was the same tone she used to inform me that I was dead.

“I still have a use of resurrecting requiem left.” That was Sekhet. Were they? They were, mom was totally playing Ogre’s and Oubliettes without me! Also a cleric, really Sekhet? I guess it is the only class that has healing and the ability to dish out traumatizing divine damage against undead, evil beings, corrupted monsters and possessed party members. It was actually kind of fitting really, especially if Sekhet thought to give her cleric an enhanced physical and magical offensive ability while dumping charisma. “I resurrect myself.”

“You’re characters ability has resurrected them back to being close to death, you now have twenty health points. Your move Fizzle.” Wait, what did mom just call Tempest? Did Tempest and mom have a moment together? It figures, mom loves others more than me because I refused to be cute while growing up… or it’s just my imagination.

“I use Arcane Armor Assault.” From what Fizzle just said I can already tell that she was either a fighter, a paladin or a spellsword. I could already hear the multiple dice rolls happening for each piece of armor.

That was the one spell that made your armor fly off your body explosively. The armor seeks out and rams into the target or targets at insane speeds. Depending on how many pieces hit what, it can really rip apart boss monsters with heavy single targeting damage or do a good bit of damage to a crowd depending on the armor and how many pieces it came in.

Downside to the spell is that you’d lose the protectiveness of the armor and would have to wait until the fight is over to put it back on, upside is you’d gain a lot of initiative from losing all that weight. The spell dealt both magical and physical damage. If you were weak to either or both, then the target takes double damage from the attack type they were weak too.

Since they probably started today or yesterday and Fizzle already had that spell, I would think that it was a spellsword. A spellsword eventually got a particular spell called Rearm-Mor that created or recreated armor, the fighter and paladin had their own methods of getting their armor back.

“Wow, those were some pretty good rolls Fizzle. Let me calculate the damage now… huh you destroyed the whole room.” Sounds like mom was impressed that Fizzle was doing so well. “Kind of like what my daughter does when she stabs a room full of orcs in one move.”

“How did she do that as a rogue? Wouldn’t her stealth have dropped as soon as she stabbed the first orc?” Good question Fizzle, let’s see if mom remembers the exact bit of wittiness I pulled that day.

“She had enough intelligence to learn the Replicate Round spell.” Oh, so mom did remember.

“Isn’t that a useless moderately costly ability that repeats a physical attack action to do the same amount of damage again?” Be prepared to be amazed Sekhet, because my craftiness knows no bounds even if I didn’t like to do the math. “It’s useless because there are far more better abilities you could be using than being able to hit at the same strength time and again for the one room the effect lasts in, it’s practically useless with armored or shielded opponents.

“I thought that too, apparently my daughter had other ideas. Did you know that if you replicate a stealth strike, it’s still a ‘stealth’ strike? None of the orcs could detect her because she was replicating the stealth based backstab action on everything in the room.” My mother gave off an exasperated sigh and I smiled from my position on the ground. “It only worked because the orcs all had less health than the first orc she managed to get a backstab roll on and she had the energy to get away with doing that multiple times. She didn’t need dice rolls to succeed, just the energy to copy her successful backstab action. I never thought a high intelligence stat on a rogue could be so dangerous.”

“Seriously, that’s kind of broken… like my horn...” I was surprised to hear that Fizzle snorting loudly in amusement, what did mom do to her to make her be less broody?

“It was basically instant death to all those poor misbegotten monsters with one dice roll. Backstab a single soft target or give her a chance to flank something and… well you get Jade’s idea of how to deal with a room full problems that all the protection in the world won’t stop.” I could almost hear my mother smiling proudly. “There are huge downsides, the set up for it is so horrendous to your stats overall and it takes a while to get around to being able to do it. My daughter insisted on a high intelligence rogue and I had no idea why when she had a lot of problems keeping said rogue alive. Until her rogue learned Replicate Round and even a little after that I thought she was being masochistic.”

I could hear Sekhet laughing and Fizzle was actually giggling. Giggling, the future Tempest Shadow, mom you’re a miracle worker!

Okay it probably wasn’t my imagination then, they were all ignoring the fact that I woke up to continue the game and if my nose is correct... never mind, mom loves me dearly and I’m just mom’s silly lovable little kitten. It was the smell of her simmering Potato Stew that woke me up, my mouth was watering already and I couldn’t get up because I was so horribly sore.

Note to self, magical wings do not protect against gravitational forces exerted on body nor do they protect against a lack of oxygen at a high altitude. Said lack of oxygen may have messed up my thought processes and led to me thinking it was a good idea to put my body through Mach speeds without the same protection a pegasus naturally has. Ergo my current state of full bodied soreness was not very pleasant in the slightest.

I should really apologize to mom about getting onto her case about not taking greater precautions with magical alchemy. I should also remember to listen to my own advice on taking precaution when using this magic, because now I was quite hypocritical by making the same mistakes I had warned mother about.

“I think the potato stew is done mom!” At my words, like lightning my mother was up and going to the cauldron and she sent me a mirth filled smile while flicking her tail in my direction.

“I knew this would wake you up, nothing would stop you from eating this stew. You could be half dead to the world, but the second the scent hits your nose you’re up and… well mostly full of vigor.” My mother was already scooping me a bowl full of sweet delicious buttery potato and vegetable strewn heaven. “How are you feeling sweetie and what happened in Canterlot?”

“Oh this and that, by the way I picked up dessert for you and I don’t mind giving one of the snacks I picked up to Tempest.” It was then that I saw mom sending me a stern stare and I understood what she wanted from me. “I’m sorry for not heeding my own advice about using magic, how was I supposed to know those magical wings wouldn’t protect me as if I were pegasus?”

“That’s why we learn what our magic does in a safe environment Jaded. Now how many helpings of this are you going to eat this time? I made a double batch because I know you’ll fight Sekhet for the extra portions.” Mom, you are a really cruel and unusual being that knows how to punish me justly and without pause.

I looked Sekhet in the eyes and she looked into mine, we narrowed them at each other. Fizzle started to slowly back away from the two of us and started to move closer to my mother for safety, neither of us would raise a claw to her. Mom cooks the food after all.

I wasn’t backing down from you over this goddess. My mom, my food! Go get your own mom to… wait… you probably don’t have a mom at this time. Stop using my mother as a surrogate you crazy goddess!

-Sekhet-

I’m not backing down to you over this mortal. The food smells absolutely divine and she made it for everyone, first come first serve! I’ll use your mother as a surrogate as much as I… wait… where the 'Duat' are my thoughts going? I don’t truly see Lady Kuril in that familiar a manner at all!

-Jade & Sekhet-

This means war!

-Fresh Start-

It was a brand new day the sun was shining and I was on my way to get a pastry at the bakery where Jade’s pink pony friend was. I was hoping she’d give me directions to where Jade might have went.

“Excuse me, but do you know where Jade might be? I have to deliver a letter to her.” After I asked that of the bright eyed filly, I turned my head to the side to mutter. “I just hope nobody forgets my paychecks just because I’m not working in the castle.”

“Nope, but you can talk to my newest best friend forever Fluttershy over there about my distant best friend forever Jade!” The perky pink filly was pointing to the yellow one with the butterflies on her flank sitting with three other pegasus ponies. “I bet she knows where Jade lives, did you know that Jade could grow wings, because I sure didn’t and she flew straight through here yesterday looking all cool and stuff! She was a bit too busy to play though.”

“Thank you.” I turned from the filly who went bouncing around the place to approach the table with the four ponies that were pointed out to me. “Excuse me, but do you know where I can find Jade?”

The filly squeaked, hid her face behind her mane and then cowered under the table and… so did her parents. The only one that didn’t was the colt.

- Several Hours Later-

It should be around here somewhere according to Fluttershy, whoa…

What happened here? I walked into a scene of carnage unlike any other a small distance away from a nice looking campfire. At the campfire was a… was that a unicorn with a broken horn huddled up against an older looking Abyssinian, they seemed to be relaxing and chatting calmly with one another.

Wait, that wasn’t what was important. What was important was that Jade was covered in scratches, bruises and painful looking welts. She was lying next to an unconscious Celestia sized pony with similar injuries, was that a lion's tail?

“What happened to them?” I asked as I approached the two that were awake, they looked at me lazily.

“I happened to them.” The Abyssinian lady answered. “If my daughter thought that she was sore before she started fighting, then she’s definitely going to be in pain for a while after that.”

- Kuril -

I'm surprised, proud and completely embarrassed that my daughter managed a victory against Sekhet for the dumbest of reasons.

Author's Notes:

(New Magical Alchemy Information!)

7. Alicorn Feather (Celestia).

Cast: Wings of sunlight (Limited air terrain mobility buff). Target is given wings of pure sunlight.

Darkness, shade or shadows can weaken the flying power the wings generate, at night they'd be far less effective. The power of the wings can be combined with a knife's or similar sustain effects for improved flying ability.The wings might be extinguished by water and could be useless while it’s raining. (New!) Does not protect the user from gravitational or high speed stress and lack of oxygen at high altitudes like a pegasus would be by their magic.

Sustain: ???.

Self-sustaining: ???.

Chapter Two, Airship Mauled: To begin a chance.

-Jade-

I came to and it was morning. Next to me was the, relatively, smaller alicorn sized form of the goddess Sekhet. I gave her quite the beating last night, nobody stops me from getting extra portions of potato stew, nobody! I know mom will wait another month before making it again and while I was aching, last night had been quite fun and I got my fill of food.

If your definition of fun involves claws out and stopping for food between rounds of beating each other senseless, then you were in luck if you were nearby last night.

Sekhet probably shouldn’t have turned off her ability to heal or shrunk down close to my level for the fight, but she was quite honorable in giving me a relatively fair fight. It was just unfair for her that I was quite determined to get more extra portions than she was.

I stood up and went through my sun salutation exercise and began working out the kinks in my body. The several hours of sleep took care of my soreness, but the light claw marks and bruises would remain for a while. They sure did sting quite a bit, Sekhet doesn’t go down without a good fight and I think she was just humoring me at the start.

At the campfire was my mother, Tempest and… oh look Fresh Start too. Well time to see what’s going to happen next. I made my way over to them, Sekhet would be fine right where she was because she can walk it off. That was unfair, mostly because I can’t walk off my own injuries like she could.

“Morning Tempest, morning mom.” They greeted me as I made my way over to them and sat down on my mom’s left, on her right was Tempest and across from us was Fresh Start. “Hey Fresh, what are you doing here?”

“Don’t you hey Fresh me! You jumped off a balcony and stomped on Prince Blueblood’s head… I have to thank you for that on the behalf of Canterlot Castle’s staff by the way. You also gave the royal guards the run around and then you jumped off the side of Canterlot and continued on to evade the Wonder Bolts! After all that and nobody is going to charge you with anything.” Well Fresh seemed to be a bit miffed, mom didn’t seem surprised at her words and Fizzle just shrugged. “I’m here to deliver a letter and offer an apology from Princess Celestia for all the trouble that she thinks she caused you. The only trouble you’ll have in Canterlot is the one irate unicorn guard. For whatever reason Celestia deems you so important, she’s paying me to lend my services to you. so here I am.”

“Sounds like you had fun in the city my little tom cat.” That was an understatement mom.

Celestia shouldn’t have made me feel caged, I was already feeling pretty antsy the other day after meeting Bon-Bon. Sekhet’s warning certainly came to mind after Celestia had slammed into me and knocked me out in her uncontrolled exuberance.

“Yep, but I really don’t know what we are going to do now mom, or where we’re going from here exactly. Celestia knows about the airship crash, so my job informing her is done.” I reclined against the log and warmed my toes by the fire that has been going for the past few days and was still strong without any extra wood. Magic was amazing like that. “Oh right, aside from those sweets I picked up at Donut Joe's place in Canterlot, a pony called Pinkie gave me a wrapped cupcake on the way back yesterday. I should probably eat the snack and read the note.”

“I’ve got no other place to be either, so I’m going to stay with you two… if you don’t mind.” Will wonders never cease? Tempest is actually being a bit shy and… I really wouldn’t mind her staying with us. “Oh and I’m Fizzlepop Berrytwist by the way, sorry I haven’t properly introduced myself until now. Even if you can’t get my horn back, then at least you can promise me that you’ll always try to help me.”

“We’d be happy to have you around Fizzle, I promise that I’ll find a way to help you in some way eventually or I’ll live trying.” I got up to hug Fizzle and she accepted it and nuzzled my neck while hugging me back, she was actually being affectionate. I could hardly believe it, I just ran my hand down her mane and she even happily leaned into it. “Thanks for not leaving my mom alone with Sekhet, who knows what that goddess would have done to my poor sweet mother if you hadn’t been around?”

I then turned to Fresh Start who moved up next to me and held out a letter to me, I took the letter from her hoof and she went to sit back down on the other side of the campfire while grumbling about life in general.

Sitting back down, I perused the letter and then looked to mom.

“Mom, give me something to write with please.” I received the two items, an ink well and the raven feather that had its tip stained with ink. I started to jot something down on the message Celestia sent with the maid I thought I had ditched back in Canterlot.

I was willing to accept Celestia’s apology, but I’m not going to work for her. I still had my misgivings about her. I wrote down that I had no idea where we were going, but I and mom weren’t going to live in Canterlot… or even in Ponyville for that matter. Far too close to the chaos and action that will occur around there a few years from now.

I’d rather we lived somewhere remote, or at least continue with our plans for Manehatten and somewhere where the fish were plentiful even if fish jerky is a bit of an anathema to me. After I signed my name Jaded La Perm and added a post script that she was basically breaking her own child labor laws by trying to hire me, I rolled up the paper and put it back in the envelope. I then tossed it into my fire and a magical smoke wafted up from it to zip northwards.

“Is that how you generally use messaging magic?” I nodded to Fizzle’s query and smiled, she even smiled back. Friendship, it was happening and I could feel it!

“So what services do you offer Fresh Start and what exactly did Jade do to have Celestia put you here with us?” Mom was quite intrigued about the new pony in our midst.

We now had our own personal paid servant and we certainly weren’t going to abuse her presence here out in the middle of nowhere, nope, no sir… okay so we were totally going to abuse the fact that we have a prepaid maid now. It was on the crowns dime no less, we just had to find jobs for her to do and let her at them.

“I have no earthly clue, but Celestia must have a reason as she seems intent on making sure Jade stays safe. To answer you’re other question, I cook, clean and mend, plus a few other general things that a maid would do. I’m really good at early morning chores, but I tend to get a bit lethargic in the afternoon. As such I usually go to bed early.” Fresh Start with her thick long hair bound up in a bun bowed to us. “I’m not a tailor though, so don’t expect much from me in making clothes from scratch.”

Fizzle looked like she was about to ask something when a ball of magic came back and coalesced into a scroll. I grabbed it out the air and read it. Apparently Celestia was going to drop by and see the wreckage herself and to talk with us personally. New information has also come up about the crew and the other passengers that had been with us. She was, thankfully, backing off from being persistent about offering me a job in her court.

The shoo-be-doo’s, sea ponies, that were nearby had saved them all from a watery grave and they are currently stuck on the south eastern shores of Equestria, stuck with various bad to critical injuries no less. They were all accounted for as far as Celestia knew, she was having several medical teams mobilized to help the less fortunate passengers and was also sending a relief effort to them so that the sea ponies can get back to their lives.

“Okay before anything else happens, I want to see if something works.” Come on let it work, I lost my kiwi candy for these feathers. I pulled out a single phoenix feather. Please don’t make everything explode into flames, I beg of you innocent looking feather of a fire bird. “This might be the thing to help you out Fizzle, but first I’m going to stand a distance away before I try anything with it.”

“What kind of feather is that?” My mother asked looking at the feather loosely held in my grip, she immediately had her journal open and ready to record some new information into it.

“I traded a Phoenix for some of its loose feathers, just some dried fruit… and what was left of my kiwi candy.” I moved away from the camp site and closer to Sekhet, I started the cast and the feather disintegrated. The magic didn’t feel like heat or burning death, so that’s good. What was the magic doing though? It was just kind of a ball of white fire that was pulsing with energy and hovering right next to me. “Uh, I don’t know if this is safe, but I think the magic might be waiting for me to choose a target.”

This was always the problem with casts, you never know what you’ll get or what it’ll do until you do it. We needed a better method for discovering what a cast will do, at least magical alchemy sustains are always safe to figure out because we could just simply stop it if something went wrong.

“What does it feel like Jade?” Well mom, I wasn’t quite able to put it into words yet. There wasn’t any loss of magic and it wasn’t leaking or anything, it just sat there as a magical mass radiating good vibes.

“I know what it feels like… something good as far as I can tell. I know this might be a little strange to ask, but would you mind if I targeted you with this spell Fizzle?” If I were Fizzle, and I’m not, I would probably decline the idea of having an unknown white orb of pure fire hitting me. “It might even do what I hope it will.”

“Uh… what do you hope it will do?” Hopefully something amazing for you Fizzle. Phoenixes are known for fire and holy elements. This cast just might be the power of rebirth for your destroyed horn.

“Possibly give you back your horn, but our magic is not an exact science yet.” I stressed this openly and clearly, it was Fizzle’s decision to test this unknown cast. It looked vaguely dangerous. “The wings the other day and flying was nice, but I was expecting something else to happen. You saw how sore I was, this is kind of a slapdash form of magic. At least once you’ve figured something out, then you’ve figured it out period.”

“…” She stared silently at the glowing orb of white fire, then looked to me warily. “Okay then, hit me with it.”

“Are you sure?” I really didn’t want to be responsible for hurting her worse than she already is, I didn't want to see pain in those beautiful eyes.

“I’m unsure, but I’m going through with it anyway. You want to help me, a trial by fire wouldn’t be too bad and it’s my choice.” I targeted Fizzle and let the orb fly. She closed her eyes as it shot straight into her, nothing happened. The orb exited her body, it came flying back to me and… it turned back into a feather? That's new.

“That didn’t seem to do much, it appears that the cast failed.” Or it worked perfectly mom, I think I know what the effect is and it would be a good idea to always have these feathers on hand.

“It didn’t fail, it’s just the criteria for the magic to take effect wasn’t there.” If for instance I were right about the effects of the feather, then it wasn’t reviving someone from death. The real effects of the cast are not what I wanted, but it was still pretty powerful. "I know what the phoenix feather cast is supposed to do mom."

“That felt weird and my horn isn’t fixed, what does the spell with that feather actually do?” Good question Fizzle, I had to tell this to mom anyway.

“Phoenix Feather, restoration from ailments, name for the cast is cleansing flames. Can cure sicknesses, diseases, poison and various magical effects such as magically induced confusion, mind control and being turned to stone.” Yep, I just got the world’s most powerful remedy for what ails anyone, it could possibly even cure the permanent water breathing that I and mom had. Powerful, but it wouldn’t heal the damage done to Fizzle's stump.

I decided to test the magical sustain too, mostly out of idle curiosity. My entire body felt warm, like I would never be cold again.

“Sustain is protection from all things cold, basically an anti-wendigo sustain.” It’d be the ultimate protection from wendigoes if that ever became a problem, I wouldn’t even need to dress warmly during the winter months.

“Despite it not being what you thought Jade, it still has some very useful applications. Right then, now that that’s settled.” My mother’s words were comforting as she set the alchemy journal off to the side to let the ink dry. She dragged Fizzle over to me and pulled us into a hug. “You're family Fizzle, we're here for you.”

“That’s what you needed Philomena’s feathers for?” It seemed Fresh Start was sympathetic to Fizzle’s plight and she watched as we huddled together against my mother’s body. “You thought it could fix your friend's horn?”

“It didn’t pan out, but I still have some ideas left.” Like various dangerous large magical lizards for one, maybe Sekhet might know where I can find Bennu. One of Bennu’s feathers might have a different and more powerful result.

A flash of sunlight and Celestia winked in nearby to start looking about. She spotted us cuddling with my mother and noticed Fizzle's broken horn, she then immediately showed concern for her.

“Who did this to you?” This was Celestia’s first meeting with Fizzle after all. At least Fresh hadn’t asked about the horn, which is something that I’m sure Fizzle appreciated.

“Ursa, happened a few years ago, don’t worry about it.” She acted aloof, but I knew it still bothered her.

“…. very well then… so this is the airship that crashed?” Celestia started trotting over to inspect the ship. “Since you do not seem keen on living near the capital of Equestria, and I can hardly blame you for that, then might I suggest building a town here? It seems to be a good place for one.”

Author's Notes:

An antidote stops the poison, but it does not fix the damage already done.

Magical alchemy knowledge.

Cast failure- Upon failure of a cast, item used in cast will return to it's previous form. Knowing this, it may be possible to cancel a cast to get the item back after the cast has already begun.

(New alchemy ingredient!)

8. Phoenix Feather.

Cast: Cleansing Flames (Support healing spell). Finds and stops negative foreign bodily ailment or ailments that are magical or mundane, does not heal damage. Can possibly stop positive ailments.

Sustain: Protection from the cold (Continuous defensive buff). Immunity to cold, increased defensive ability against ice and relative elemental based magic.

Self-Sustaining: None.

Chapter Two, Airship Mauled: The start of our home. (We're doomed.)

-Celestia-

Don’t pressure her, don’t pressure her, don’t pressure her, I have to remember that she is still a young and growing incredible magic user… where is she getting her education from? Maybe she could come to my school and… darn it I feel like pressuring her about something!

-Jade-

There’s an uncomfortable look in Celestia’s eyes as she looked back at me from inspecting the damaged airship.

“A town, really, here of all places?” I had my suspicions that Celestia wanted me around, they weren’t exactly suspicions so much as the probability that she really won’t leave me alone until she knows she can come to me for problems that I’m not exactly fit to handle. Twilight and a full grown dragon comes to mind, what was Celestia thinking there? Twilight was not a diplomat and using her as one while not professionally trained was kind of dumb. “Are you sure you’re not just trying to keep me around for the… ‘the stars shall aid in her escape’… thing.”

“No of course not, I… wait… how do you know about… moon priest... of course you know, why wouldn’t you?” She gave me a depressed look, Luna was almost more important to her than her kingdom. “I guess you’re quite clever for your age. Still though, why did you come to Equestria originally?”

“Well I and mom wanted to set up in Manehatten, just start up a small restaurant on the coast and try to get Abyssinians into the mainstream consciousness of ponies and maybe take on a few griffon customers to work up to equality for various species. You know Abyssinia is a trade nation and we Abyssinians, for the most part, are not recognizable around here despite how much trade we have going between us.” I stopped and considered my words carefully. “Also I wanted some friends my age, if you must know my mother and I come from a sleepy little coastal town with not much going on. Around here there’s some excitement, like how I befriended a chimera the same day I ended up in Canterlot.”

“A chimera, well that certainly explains the injury to your shoulder at least. Wait, friends... maybe… that could work.” There was something thoughtful on Celestia’s face and she glanced at me and I gave her a raised brow while tapping a foot impatiently. “Oh sorry, that sounds like a noble goal, but what of your education?”

“I’m pretty well educated already, I can certainly identify most monsters on sight and how to deal with them safely. I’m a fish scaler, a rogue sun priest and a unique magic user. I also know quite some things about history, like Luna for one, so try me.” I made Celestia wince, I’m not apologizing for that. She did seal her sister in the moon and she’s still there to this day. “That and I can ensure the destruction of normally impervious magical artifacts and objects, though the energy released from such destruction has to go somewhere. So I can get rid of dangerous magical items as a side business for AK Yearling.”

“What would you call a two-headed snake with no tail?” Oh, it looks like Celestia went full on teacher mode for me. Also she seemed to flinch when I said AK Yearling, so Celestia did know about Daring Do at least.

“An amphisbaena. If you get swallowed alive by a large enough one, and provided you can survive its insides, then you can possibly come out the other end. Just avoid the fangs.” I shivered at the thought of being swallowed by a gigantic amphisbaena. “I heard it’s not recommended, but there are usually not amphisbaena’s big enough for that. They are quite venomous and a feminine name for said species would be anphivena. They primarily start life eating ants and are said to possibly be from the blood of gorgons.”

“No wonder an outbreak started after me and Luna accidentally… never mind that, old history." The questions would continue it seemed, Celestia wasn’t about to let me off the hook unless I could prove myself educated enough to not need school. "What would you call a lobster or crab made from lava?”

“A cherufe is my guess, you’re not very likely to meet one unless you live in volcanic regions like dragons do. They are quite dangerous to approach especially while they are covered in lava or magma depending on where you meet them.” I leveled a flat look at Celestia. “The kids are said to be a major cause of earthquakes and tectonic problems, the parents cause less volatile situations and are protective of their young. Any more questions?”

“No I think you’ve proved that you are quite educated about two creatures that live quite far off from one another.” She looked at my mother, oh here we go. “Still, hello I’m Princess Celestia. You must be Jade’s mother.”

“Ms. Kurilian La Perm, yes I’m her mother and I happen to be Fizzle’s guardian.” It seemed that mom introduced Fizzle because she was being rather quiet. Fizzle looked a little surprised that mom claimed to be her guardian and seemed happy to accept it. “Call me Kuril and this is the aforementioned Fizzle.”

“Hello, do you know of a way to fix my horn princess?” Of course Fizzle would ask Celestia that, she would likely take every opportunity to ask around to see if anyone can help her.

“No, but I would if I could, no unicorn should go through life like this.” The way Celestia said that made me gaze at her softly. She may be a bit manipulative, but she wasn’t evil and she was still quite sorrowful about her sister.

Still, Celestia was a bit focused on unicorns. I think it’s mostly because they had a penchant for going evil more often than the pegasi or earth ponies.

“Well thanks for not getting my hopes up at least.” Fizzle mumbled sarcastically and I wanted to hug her. Darn it Tempest Shadow, you’re ridiculously adorable when you aren’t evil for reasons of promised horn fixing.

“Still, I’ll try to look into it. Just know that nothing might come of it.” Thank you Celestia, it’s not like I and mom were already going to do that ourselves with magical alchemy. “You still need an education though and I suggest you continue the same with your daughter’s education Kuril.”

My first idea was a dud and I wasn’t sure that wrestling with monsters like a cragadile would do me any favors or help Fizzle. It was going to take some research to find something that could heal Fizzle, in fact me and mom haven’t exactly got into mixing magical alchemy ingredients for casts yet and a combination of ingredients would make for a very powerful cast. We were taking it slow and learning to do things one item at a time.

“I would like it if you were to live somewhere nearby, would you be opposed to living in a town if I got some ponies started on building it here?” Really Celestia, who were you fooling? Not my mother, or me for that matter. You were staring at my fire in the same way Sekhet did, you knew what it was and so did Sekhet. Also where is Sekhet? You’d think she’d be around to meet Celestia and get into an action packed battle that would inevitably destroy the entire area, which would be useful for land development now that I think of it. “There’s a nearby river that has plenty of fish and clean water in it, this would be a nice place to settle down right?”

“You just want us around because my daughter is a sun priest, a rogue one at that. She’s obviously quite different from what you would expect and don’t you dare try and force her to be something she’s not!” Sure I may joke about mom not caring about me, but you if tried to hurt me she will respond with a viciousness that most in Palicoast would say is a true mother’s love. The salty sea cats around there can tell you how fierce she can get when pushed. “Would you take a daughter away from her mother?”

“I, no… I wouldn’t do that.” Okay now Celestia was wilting and looking pathetic, was she a powerful and benevolent goddess level ruler or not?

“Then you may want to instill that family is important in whatever student you have at the moment.” The flowing hair stopped flowing and went straight as I got Celestia’s attention, I just stared at her coolly and she nibbled at her bottom lip a bit. I rolled my eyes. “If you can get a sturdy house with a theme restaurant constructed, alongside a school and a train station sometime today or tomorrow I may consider sticking around. Also you’d have to give us the land to live on if you want us to stay here. Of course foreigners having land in the middle of Equestrian soil will definitely upset all your nobles considering how close to home we’ll be.”

“Does your daughter usually do the negotiations for you?” The princess said turning to my mother, her mane started up again and she seemed somewhat happy. “She’s quite sharp.”

“Like her claws, she’s my bright little tom cat and she should definitely get some say in it. I would suggest using the remains of the crashed airship in the creation of our house. We used to have a good sturdy restaurant back in the port town of Palicoast with a similar ship based theme.” I flicked an ear at mom, she got the signal that I wouldn’t mind this option. It would be what we were going to do anyway, but Manhattan would have been more expensive than starting fresh out here on Celestia’s funding. “You’d need to clean up the wood, get the belongings of the other passengers back to them and then make it resistant to weather, but I think the crashed airship would make a good home. Provided that we can buy the remains from the captain. He’ll sell for cheap as some of the keel is a bit busted and it can no longer make emergency water landings, it’s definitely unsafe for use as an airship. We’ll also need something like a larder around here.”

I hadn’t even thought of that, my mom did run a restaurant and was business savvy. It sounded like a good deal if Celestia could set all of that up. Mom turned to Fizzle.

“What would you like to be a part of this imaginary town Celestia proposes that we live in Fizzle?” My mom was sweet to ask the suddenly flummoxed Fizzle who didn’t have an answer and looked thoughtful for a while.

“Well I wouldn’t mind a place that welcomed everyone, no matter the species or… disabilities.” I could see where Fizzle was going with it and I nodded to Celestia.

“We can’t very well have a place of our own, especially if ponies are just going to move in and kick us out for being different.” As soon as I said that Celestia got rather defensive.

“I wouldn’t let that happen!” If it were up to Celestia or if she were informed of it happening anyway.

“Uh, you kind of already have princess.” Now entering Fresh Start as part of the conversation, I wonder what she had to say about this proposal Celestia started. “Do you remember when Appleoosa was built? It’s in the middle of the Buffalo stampeding trails. So… you… technically already did let it happen princess. Just with someone else and the buffaloes have been causing problems ever since because of it. They were truly there first, before our settlers built a town down in the middle of their nomadic territories. Appleoosa is always in trouble when they stampede through the apple orchards and they also cause a lot of damage to the town in retaliation.”

“Do you mean that you wouldn’t let it happen now specifically or at a much later date?” There was a very strong and long silence after my snarky comeback, I looked to mom and Fizzle who looked back at me. Mom was okay with it and Fizzle snorted slightly in amusement.

We all turned to Celestia to see what she had to say about this, she looked to still be in shock from what our personal maid had told her. Said maid had yet to really do anything around here, but we’re giving her plenty of leeway on that.

“I… I need to consider some things, but I will agree to the fact that you can’t be removed from these lands by any pony.” I would say that’s nice, but could you actually actively enforce that Celestia? I don’t tend to trust the general pony population for their negative tendencies towards xenophobia and things that are too different from them. Like what happened to Fizzle in becoming a lost outcast. “Within reason at the very least.”

“Agreed, but there’s one last thing to be considered. I get to the name town if you’re going to help fund the start of one here.” A town with a name that nobody would want to visit because of how ridiculous it would be.

“Okay, tell me what you would like to name it then.” To think you seemed so sure of yourself upon arrival princess, but now you were flagging and you probably won’t like my name for the town. If you actually went along with this, then I’ll be thoroughly surprised. “I’m quite willing to do all that other stuff and will get to work on it immediately, plus I have a few other things I need to look into now.”

“I want to name the town Airship Mauled!” It would always remind me that the Predestined Paradox had landed on Sekhet, plus it was pure gold for a name as far as I was concerned. I bowed my head solemnly while clasping my hands in prayer. “It’s in memory of a fortress I know about that was named Ship Killed, one that was sadly crushed under a pack of rabid pachyderms, goblins, the rampant ensuing madness and a unfortunately placed lava based kill switch that would bring the whole fortress, built at the base of a volcano, down. Sitting on it was bound to happen eventually and it took hundreds of years, but someone eventually forgot what that switch did!”

“Your… joking… you have to be.” Started Celestia as she stared flatly at me, only for my mother to bow her head solemnly and put her hands up in prayer.

“The poor people of Ship Killed. We’ll always remember, the fifth of November, when that store of gunpowder blew the fortress in half as it was being buried under lava. Thankfully none of the goblins survived, but the killer elephants certainly did.” Thank you mom for joining me in this endeavor. Ship Killed was quite fun, especially when I based that O and O scenario on something else. We had to get our characters out of the fortress and away from the carnage before it blew up, fun times were had that day. “It was a sad day indeed and I think it would be perfectly nice if we named this place Airship Mauled in memory of the fallen fortress.”

Fizzle stared at Celestia wondering if she would really give in to these two jokers.

“Fine, the town will be Airship Mauled.” Muttered a tired Celestia.

Author's Notes:

The allusion here is something called 'Boat Murdered'.

Chapter Three, Parties, Pukwudgies and Pirates: The starting scenario.

-Fizzlepop-

As soon as Celestia left, with a tired look on her face, I turned to the two weirdoes that I was becoming quite attached to. One of them just claimed guardianship over me. I should feel upset that she didn’t ask me, but I can only feel happy about it and I actually wanted to be coddled more. I was just too afraid to ask for more than they’re already giving me, I didn’t want to wear out their hospitality.

“Do you seriously need to have the town be named that of all things?” I asked with some vehemence in my voice.

“Yes, of course we do!” They both said at the same time in unison. Why was I not so surprised about this? I should be more surprised. It actually made me see them as a daughter and mother despite their very visible differences.

“I don’t know why I like you two so much.” The both of them were weird, but they did know a fun game at least.

O and O was an intellectual pastime for them and now I had my own character to join them with. I felt included and welcomed, but most of all they made me feel like I had a home now. It’s something I didn’t know I needed so badly.

“Hey Fizzy, do you want to share a cupcake?” What did she just call me? It sounded much better than Fizzle to me at least or maybe it was the way she said it.

“I think I like being called Fizzy. Also sure, I wouldn’t mind a snack.” The campfire was as inviting as ever, I went to sit down next to Jade. “It’s Celestia’s loss that she wasn’t willing to stick around for lunch, but I guess she’s really busy running a country.”

Jade held her knife out over the fire letting the flames lick the blade. After a moment she pulled it back and waited for it to cool down before wiping it off with a bit of clean cloth, she then opened the wrapped cupcake with the message in it.

“Oh right, I should get started on that right away!” I think we all almost forgot she was here, what was her name again? I believe it was Fresh Start.

“Oh no you don’t, I’m the head chef around here my lovely yet lowly waiter!” I watched as Kuril got up and into Fresh’s face, I’d be upset too if the best cook around wasn’t allowed to make a meal when she wanted to. “You haven’t tasted my food yet and you’ll be our guest for lunch. We’re not letting you cook until you’re ready to live up to the lofty expectations I represent.”

“Waiter? I’m a maid!” You might not be a maid much longer Fresh, I silently thought, not with that attitude anyway. “I’m supposed to be doing the work for you guys!”

“Let, my mom, do the cooking.” That was possibly the flattest most threatening delivery of a sentence I’ve ever heard Jade say, Fresh should probably listen to her after what happened to Sekhet last night. Where was she anyway? Oh look, there she is and she’s back to being much larger than the rest of us. “You won’t be disappointed and I even bet you’ll want her to keep cooking at first bite.”

“Hello there… what’s black and white, while being read all over?” Did Sekhet just ask one of the simplest riddles ever? She must be only slightly annoyed with Fresh.

“A… big… big… C-c-c-…” Oh right, we haven’t exactly introduce Fresh Start to Sekhet have we? She was cowering in fright at the big toothy grin that Sekhet was sporting.

Even a goddess of healing couldn’t fix my horn, though I do guess she’s more about healing herself than others. Healing’s a good talent to have as a war goddess, she’s actually quite amiable to get along with and knows how to be a good cleric as an O and O character.

“Fresh Start, say hello to our resident goddess. The amazing stray cat, Sekhet!” There was mirth on Jade’s face as she smiled towards Fresh. “We fed her and now she won’t leave. Please tell me we can keep her Fresh?”

Sekhet helped me even when she didn’t have to and I was going to respect her for it, except for the fact that she lost to Jade the other night while fighting over food. I was not telling her any of my thoughts on that to her face though.

“I don’t know if we can keep a whole sphinx fresh Jade. It sounds really hard to do.” With Kuril’s words, I think I know where I went wrong in life. It was me meeting Kuril and her daughter Jade. I watched as Kuril poked at one of Sekhet’s legs. “Where would we even start cleaning her?”

“Okay, enough of that you two, I am not a stray animal!” Again I wouldn’t voice it to Sekhet, but she had certainly acted like one last night. Even I could tell she wouldn’t leave because Kuril fed her, to be fair I wouldn’t leave either if I could keep eating good meals like what she makes. Who would want to leave when they had nowhere else to be after getting a hearty meal from Kuril? “Now answer my riddle lowly mortal, you who would dare prevent ‘The Witch of Good Taste’ from plying her most important trade. That being keeping me happy and not violent, so I will tell you the riddle again if you have forgotten already from witnessing my rather majestic presence. What is black and white, while being read all over?”

“Black and white, while red… wait read as in reading… a newspaper?” Fresh watched as Sekhet sat down and smiled.

“Correct, you have avoided my wrath for now. I would have also accepted a skunk covered in red paint or recently eviscerated by a predator and a monochrome picture as seen through red lenses.” Is it me or was Sekhet and everyone else ganging up on the poor earth pony? I had to put a stop to this. “Don’t try to stop Lady Kuril again or else I will riddle harder, don’t think I won’t. This was just a warning riddle.”

“You need to create an O and O character if you’re going to be living with us.” Wait, what was that that just came out of my mouth. Well it’s not like we were actively going hurt Fresh Start and it was all in good… fun. I felt a warmth in my chest at the idea. "If Airship Mauled is going to be a town, then O and O will be it's favorite pastime. We're going to make a thing of it!"

I was receiving some surprised stares from my guardian, my friend and Sekhet.

“What are you… wait, Ogres and Oubliettes? I think Shining and Cadence are going to miss me at the next game, but I already have a character. I just need to get my character sheet out of my saddle bags.” She had come here with a loaded bags full of stuff, she eventually pulled out her character sheet.

Apparently Fresh Start’s character was a spoony bard, the class that sings positive and negative effects while fighting at the same time. Weak offensive attributes, but great defensive and support.

“Hey look, we’ve already corrupted our first pony mom! Fizzy is definitely one of us now. One of us, one of us, octopus, octopus, octo… wait, why am I saying octopus?” I gave Jade a light shove and we started laughing.

When she eventually managed to control her giggling Jade finally offered up the larger half of the cupcake she had sliced with her knife. I took it without question and bit into it, my world exploded as it was quite delicious. Somebody had a special talent for making cupcakes, also I’m quite glad I had the larger half now.

As I was eating that half of the cupcake, Jade was reading the note that came with it.

-Jade-

“Deer Jade, it’s me Pinkie Pie, you’re supposed to start a letter with deer right? You’re not a deer though, if you were a deer then you wouldn’t have claws and I know you’re still a magical cat. You are still a magical cat right? I should put Cat Jade down the next time I write a letter to make sure you’re not a deer when I see you next. I mean you magically grew wings so who’s to say you can’t change into a deer? I hope you liked the cupcake! Oh and you’re invited to a special event, Fluttershy is going to hold her cuteceanera here at Sugar Cube Corner and your invited to the party. My Pinkie Senses told me she was going to have the party here. I’m the planner for it and the Cakes, the nice baker ponies who are letting me live here as a part time baking assistant, are letting me invite all my friends. All two of them! Can you believe it? It’ll be so much fun! I’m going to make friends with the whole town eventually, but I’m still settling in and I have to go to school here for some reason even when I have a job I love. At least it’s not as boring as where I used to live, It’s kind of sad that my sisters won’t be able to come to the party. I’ll just have to party that much harder for all of us! Hope you can come Jade. It’s the beginning of this weekend after school lets out. Also, bring anyone you want with you too, the more the merrier!”

I read the note and rolled my eyes, so she actually does write like she talks. I stretched out and considered how I was going to spend the rest of my day, I looked to Fizzle enjoying the cupcake and figured I might want to get to know her better. I mean everything I know about her right now can’t be all there is to her right? I think I would be sorely disappointed, but I would still get her to try new things.

“Hey Fizzy, want to go to a party?” Something tells me I shouldn’t have asked that, she looked rather pensive about the idea of going near other ponies. She didn’t seem nearly as bad around us… then again most of those who were here weren’t ponies.

“A… party? I don’t think that’s a good idea Jade. I’ll probably cause a scene.” She was talking about her horn and I understood why it would cause a scene.

“You can wear my cloak and keep the hood up the whole time, though I’m sure Pinkie or Fluttershy wouldn’t care.” Carefully I positioned myself so I could run my hand right hand down her mane, she seems to like any kind of attention she can get. “Look if ponies cause a scene, then I’ll do something to draw attention away from you if you want me to.”

“I don’t know…” She didn’t seem to like the idea, but I wanted her to meet Pinkie and to see Fluttershy again in a more talkative capacity. I was going to friend her so hard, she’ll know that she’s loved and is special to us!

“Just think on it Fizzy, I want you to be at the party with me. I also want mom to come with us.” That brought my mother’s attention to us as she was already setting up for lunch, fried vegetables and several kinds of dipping sauce. I didn’t like the spicy sauce, I always went with the sweet sauce.

“Oh, are we going somewhere my little tom cat?” Look mom, you know darn well what we were talking about. “I thought we were staying here at Airship Mauled.”

“It seems Fluttershy is inviting us to her cutie mark party in the afternoon at the start of this weekend. I want you to come with us to it mom.” Yet I still repeated myself anyway. Only you could make me want to face palm mom, never change. “You can get a scope of Ponyville and we can advertise your new restaurant opening here soon in the town of Airship Mauled, provided that Celestia can actually set it up in the next twenty four hours. So what are we calling this one? We can’t exactly be Kuril’s Coastal Canteen if we’re not on a coast.”

“Sounds like a plan for us and I already have a name for the restaurant. What are you doing for the rest of this afternoon though?” Good question mother, I had nothing and I figured I could get away with being lazy for the rest of the day. My shoulder kind of smarts and my injuries still needed to be licked a bit.

“Maybe get a little exercise with my knife’s sustain, test out a few other items and record their sustain effects.” I pretended to have something to do and hope that mom doesn’t question it.

“Sounds fair, just no lazing about. I know you too well and I know that you’re going to try and do nothing for the rest of the day! Fresh Start you can help me prepare the food, but I’ll still do all the cooking.” She made a shooing motion to both of us and I noticed Sekhet approaching mom. “Go have some fun with Fizzle, I’ll call you two when lunch is ready.”

I went to grab some stuff and would be testing what the sustain on several items we’ve yet to test would do, mom called me out on trying to be lazy so I can’t get away with it today. She'd know if I did laze about.

-Sekhet-

“I would like to inform you that you didn’t give birth to a daughter, you gave birth to a demon that disguises itself as your daughter and your food is the only thing that appeases its anger.” Of course I was exaggerating, but Priest Jade was quite vicious last night.

“What can I say, she loves a good potato stew.” Lady Kuril shrugged and got started on the food with the assistance of the serf Fresh Start. “So where were you when Celestia was around?”

I had of course been watching Celestia from a 'safe' distance. We could both feel Jade when she was nearby, but each other? Not so much, it appears a new domain was starting here and I was willing to watch over it.

“I was walking off my injuries from the prior night. I’m fully healed, thanks for asking by the way.” Ah yes the popular past time of immortal beings, sarcasm.

“What’s your take on Celestia, can she actually create a town in less than twenty four hours?” So Lady Kuril knew, well I wouldn’t put it past Priest Jade to know too.

“She certainly has the resources to do it if she isn’t trying to build more than a few small buildings.” In comparison to my resources being a paw full of beings that I'll silently admit are my friends.

-Jade-

I spent the rest of the afternoon showing and explaining our magical alchemy to Fizzle, mostly by testing the magical alchemy sustain of a raven feather, one of the two remaining feathers from Celestia and the cloak I got from Fresh Start in Canterlot. Sustains were always easy to test, but figuring out the effect was another matter.

Author's Notes:

Time skip to the cuteceanera of Fluttershy

Magical Alchemy list.

(New Magical Alchemy Information!)

1. Fish Bones (simple).

Cast: Water breathing (Temporary passive water terrain survival buff). Breathing water as if you had gills, permanence can be achieved with repeated casts.

Sustain: Swimming efficiency and deep water survivability increases.

Self-Sustaining: Luminescence. Once used as a sustain effect, bones glow softly on their own.

2. Fish Scales (simple).

Cast: Fish Scale Skin (Temporary defense buff). Possible permanence with multiple casts, more effective underwater.

Sustain: Water Projection (Offensive ability). Able to spit or project volatile volumes of water, drains fluids from body with excessive use. You can actively control the volumes of water you project and how focused that projection is.

Self-Sustaining: None.

3. Raven Feather.

Cast: Survive a fall, fall on something safely or possibly target launches and falls on something by user’s choice or at random. (One time air terrain survival buff, possible Offensive ability). Target tends to end up freezing twenty feet above something living.

Sustain: (New!) Project thoughts. Not able to receive thoughts, but you can project them to others.

Self-sustaining: (New!) none.

4. Sunlight.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Smoke signaling. Causes smoke to appear as if something was burning.

Self-sustaining: Warms the planet.

5. Knife.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Rogue Enhancements (Continuous passive buff). Heightened dexterity, agility and environmental awareness. Strengthens all mobility based buffs.

Sustain side effect: Inability to sleep or relax.

Self-sustaining: Trains muscles and exercises body for similar maneuvers used while wielding the sustain effect.

6. Knife Sheath

Cast: Traps one target temporarily (One use support spell). Time limit for stopping a target is the same every time for sheaths of similar design. Sheaths for different or larger weapons ‘probably’ improves time limit.

Sustain: Increased protection against knives, arrows and other small bladed weapons (Continuous passive buff). Warning: Does not protect against anything larger, or anything else for that matter.

Self-sustaining: None.

7. Alicorn Feather (Celestia).

Cast: Wings of sunlight (Limited air terrain mobility buff). Target is given wings of pure sunlight. Darkness, shade or shadows can weaken the flying power the wings generate, at night they'd be far less effective. The power of the wings can be combined with a knife's or similar sustain effects for improved flying ability. The wings might be extinguished by water and could be useless while it’s raining. Does not protect the user from gravitational or high speed stress and lack of oxygen at high altitudes like a pegasus would be by their magic.

Sustain: (New!) Redirect sunlight (Defensive support buff). Is only useful during the day and allows for blinding opponents or aggressors with light.

Self-sustaining: (New!) Minor protection from darkness (Automatic defensive buff while feather is on, worn or wielded by person). Needs to be charged with sunlight and to have been used as a magical alchemy sustain at least once to work.

8. Phoenix Feather.

Cast: Cleansing Flames (Support healing spell). Finds and stops negative foreign bodily ailment or ailments that are magical or mundane, does not heal damage. Can possibly stop positive ailments.

Sustain: Protection from the cold (Continuous defensive buff). Immunity to cold, increased defensive ability against ice and relative elemental based magic.

Self-Sustaining: None.

(New Alchemy Ingredient!)

9. Jade’s Cloak.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: ???. (Effect seems to do nothing, need more information.)

Self-Sustain: Makes sneaking easier (Moderate stealth buff).

------------

Chapter Three, Parties, Pukwudgies and Pirates: The cutie scenario.

-Jade-

Okay, so I and Fizzle discovered what a Raven and Celestia’s Feathers would do when used in a magical sustain. We still had no idea what a cloak does when used as one.

Raven feathers allowed for projection of thoughts. Could be useful as a distraction or silent communication, but it couldn’t actually hurt anyone. Interesting given that Ravens in mythology are seen as messengers and bad luck. The cast must be the bad luck part and the magical sustain for it must be the messenger portion.

Fizzle was a little surprised and blushing afterwards, maybe because I had been thinking about how beautiful her eyes were when I sustained the feather.

Celestia’s feather did something rather expected of the princess of the sun, it redirected sunlight. I couldn’t get enough sunlight together to do more than be blinding. So no solar beams of doom for me. It didn’t take long afterwards for Fizzle to point out something I hadn’t noticed.

Sitting underneath a tree after playing with sunlight redirection, Fizzle was the first to notice that I had no shadow. It was shortly after that we discovered the effect required the feather to have been already used as a magical sustain and needs to have been in sunlight for some time. The other feather didn’t make me lack shadows, until I used it as a sustain as well. Protection from darkness as a self-sustain was rather unusual.

We still have no idea what the cloak did after trying quite a few things with it, it did have a useful self-sustain effect of making me stealthier. That would certainly be useful, I can think of many things to use that effect for later.

When lunch was called, Fresh Start found out what we were talking about when it came to mom’s cooking. The fried broccoli with a bit of the sweet glaze was delicious, about as delicious as the rest of the breaded and fried vegetables. The fried and chopped pickle bits were particularly popular.

It was a few hours after lunch that Celestia came back with three different construction crews, the princess said hello and thankfully didn’t forget to put up a bubble of silence around our campsite while the crews got to work. Sekhet didn’t make herself scarce this time, but she did transform into a more cat sized and cat like form. Was she actually avoiding Celestia because a fight might break out? I was a little concerned, wouldn’t a war goddess be more likely to actively seek out a battle?

Celestia didn’t stay for long and she soon left, she was too busy in Canterlot to really watch the construction efforts. When Celestia left, Sekhet returned to her Alicorn size and we started up a game of O and O for the evening with five party members. None of the ponies made mention of Sekhet changing appearances or even size, especially when she did it performing a showy backflip for that matter.

It would have been interesting to watch the multiple crews building the makings of a small town in less than twenty four hours, but I’d rather be having fun with my family and friends.

-Kuril-

Making food for the construction crews wasn’t hard and the compliments kept coming, they were thankful for the meal. If I were to blush for every compliment they gave my cooking, then I would have a beet red face for the rest of my life. My ears were burning at the very least about how well my vegetable jambalaya was coming along. I hadn’t been very good at it at first, I had some trouble with cooking rice correctly, but dinner tonight seems to have gone quite well all things considered.

I was going to earn my title, I would just need to make more recipes and learn to cook some new things. I can’t forget about my fish eating patrons either, including my daughter, Sekhet and even Fizzle. I had to inform Fizzle that she ate fish the night she came to our camp via the magical goddess express, the look on her face was priceless and she said it didn’t taste bad at all. Fizzle must have had some pegasus blood in her.

Fresh Start was rather helpful in spooning out portions to everyone and it was a good evening all around. She was quite fair about the portions she dished out to the hungry workers and there were plenty of seconds going around, it was nice to be appreciated like this by people who weren’t my daughter.

My cooking apparently had an effect on the three construction crews, they all organized to finish our restaurant and home first. It was getting late and Fresh Start was already flossing and turning in early like she said she did.

I wonder how this will turn out, Celestia was going to a lot of effort to keep my little tom cat around. I mean a train station, a school and a home. Not much of a town was it? I’m sure Airship Mauled will grow, but we’re going to need a lot more than what Celestia was willing to give us.

-Jade, one day later-

“I can’t believe it, she actually managed to get a larder installed… well most would call it a refrigerator.” I was a little surprised that Celestia had managed a school, but thankfully there were no teachers and I was walking out of our new restaurant based home. Our new home was ready for use, it was a restaurant alright and you could hardly tell it used to be a crashed airship. Plenty of room to make it run as an inn as well, we all had our rooms picked out already. “It looks like a home to me, but we need to get going to Ponyville if we’re going to make it to the cuteceanera in time. Are you sure you can watch things here Fresh?”

Abyssinia may be a tad lackluster in schooling, but at least we didn’t forget to staff a place we built for the express purpose of making sure that young minds were educated. Mine wasn’t exactly young, but Fizzle’s certainly was. Well we could have a teacher in the school, but I’m not sure how many people would accept being taught about myths, monsters and creatures by someone as young as me.

We certainly weren’t teaching magical alchemy to anyone yet, not until we’ve explored it more thoroughly. I may have shown and explained to Fizzlepop how magical alchemy works, but I didn’t tell her how to actually do it.

We haven’t even gotten around to mixing ingredients into our casts yet and when mom and I did… we probably wouldn’t be ready for the end results of what will happen.

“I’ll be fine. Besides, I need to make sure everything in the house works and that they didn’t half ass any of it.” Fresh then entered the restaurant that mom had named ‘The Witch’s Fare’. I thought it was a nice name for it, especially since my mother was going to continue wearing robes and would eventually find a pointy hat to use as a chef’s toque.

“I’ll be here to protect her from other predators or other people if there is a problem.” Sekhet said lazily lying next to the once upon a time crashed airship, I wondered if she was going to be around for the rest of my natural life. I better not bother her enough to ask me a truly dangerous enough riddle if she is.

It still bothered me that Sekhet can decimate entire armies and yet she can look and feel so lazy, I think she just didn’t want to bother with fighting Celestia’s soldiers as it wouldn’t be fair for them to have to fight her.

“I know, isn’t our new home just wonderful? I mean after it was so graciously donated to us by Celestia buying the crashed Predestined Paradox and refurbishing it… at no cost to us of course. When we can finally get some train tracks out here traveling to Ponyville won’t be such a problem.” You’re not being very classy by calling attention to it mom. The nearby empty train station was a bit useless at the moment, but it did make finding home easier. “Still, I hope Celestia doesn’t bother you too much Jade. I'm ready to go, how about you my adorable little Fizzle?”

We were getting ready to set out and Fizzle looked a bit nervous.

“About as ready as I’ll ever be.” Mom and I both knew that Fizzle was not feeling particularly fond about going into a town full of ponies.

She had even taken to wearing my cloak while the construction crews were around to hide her broken horn, she shouldn’t feel so ashamed about a horrible incident. Well, aside from the fact that she didn’t recognize the clear warning signs on the ursa’s cave for what they were, she was just a little filly that didn’t know any better. She should be as bitter or broody as she was when we met her, she has opened up to us quite a bit.

“Right, let’s go celebrate a cutie making her mark on this lovely world!” I thrust my right fist into the air, hefted my pack and started north.

We’d save time by cutting through the Ever Free Forest this time, it was surprisingly quiet during the day.

- Pinkie-

Hey everyone, it’s me Pinkie Pie the filly talking to you live from the computer screen! I’m going to have so much fun when school lets out and it’ll do that in three… two… one!

The ringing of the bell tower in the distance sounded off and I was a blur to start setting up the party. Why I was already in Sugar Cube Corner within five seconds of exiting the school, that’s mostly thanks to an unseen scene transition in the text. I’m sure people don’t mind if I do that right? I really want this party to work since all my friends are coming to it!

I wonder if Jade will be coming as a deer?

-Fluttershy-

School let out and I was so nervous about the party, I really didn’t like big surprises. I was kind of nervous, but Pinkie assured me Jade would be there and it wasn’t a surprise party. Also Rainbow and her parents would be coming with me and my own. I just hoped Ms. La Perm didn’t get too mad with Rainbow Dash when she showed up, I don’t want Mrs. Whistles and Mr. Hothoof to get into a fight with Jade’s mother.

My little brother was growing bigger every day, soon he’d be even bigger than I am. He’d still always be my lazy little brother Zephyr.

I sighed, it was time to get going. You only get one cutecenera and at least I’m spending it with friends, I’m so thankful my parents weren’t excitable like Rainbow’s parents.

-Jade-

We were getting plenty of stares, because two of us were certainly an abnormality to the daily lives of ponies. I didn’t entirely come into town when I was previously here and got fixed up by Quick Patch, so I really shouldn’t be this surprised that ponies were going to stare at the two cats walking into town with a cloaked pony.

Speaking of my shoulder, it needed a few more days before the stitches can be removed according to Sekhet. At least I hadn’t failed to keep my shoulder clean even if it was a bit itchy and I was kind of glad Sekhet hadn’t targeted my shoulder when we were clawing at each other over food.

“Here it is, Sugar Cube Corner.” I looked upon Pinkie’s new place in the world, a home with a gingerbread house theme.

“Looks like a place I wouldn’t mind living in, it looks sweet.” Only because it’s basically the style of house that a fairytale witch would normally live in mom.

“Are you okay Fizzy?” I looked back at Fizzle keeping her head down and being rather skittish.

“I’m… I’m okay.” She was trying to appear quite brave as she followed us into to the bakery.

“Hello there, I’m Carrot Cake and welcome to Sugar Cube Corner.” Green eyes, yellow fur and orange mane, he was quite a friendly fellow. “What can I do for you three?”

“We’re here for the cuteceanera of my friend, I believe Pinkie has already finished setting that up?” I pointed out the decorations for Fluttershy’s cutie mark related party in the corner of the Corner.

“Oh, you're friends with Pinkie? Well you’re not exactly what I expected when she said that all her friends were going to be here for the party.” He didn’t seemed put off by the fact that I and my mother were unusual friends or that Fizzle kept her head covered with a hood. “Well go on and sit down, Pinkie is in the middle of baking a cake for that shy filly with my wife Cup Cake. The party is already paid for and you have that area reserved for it, so enjoy. A pony can only ever get their cutie mark once, so make this party something your friend will remember forever.”

“Oh we will, don’t worry about that. I’ll chaperone things here until the others arrive.” Waving off the stallion, mom motioned for us to follow her over to the reserved area for the cuteceanera. We'd wait for the other guests.

We were only seated for about two minutes when Pinkie rushed out and placed a platter of cupcakes before us with a bright smile. She seemed to be quite happy to be here.

“Hey, Jade! Oh, so you’re not a deer today, well okay then. Is that your mother, who’s your friend in the cloak? Hello I’m Pinkie Pie, I want us to be best friends! Want some cupcakes?” The exuberant and cheerful Pinkie made Fizzle shy away slightly, even so Fizzle still picked up a cupcake and started to eat it. “We’re still waiting on the guest of honor, I’m sure she’ll be here real soon!”

“I’m… Fizzlepop Berrytwist, you can call me Fizzle.” Once bitten, less shy, the cupcake really had Fizzle perking up quite a bit as she recognized the taste from the one I previously shared with her. “You make really good cupcakes by the way.”

“Thank you!” Pinkie’s shout had Fizzle reeling back a bit and the hyper pony turned back to me. “We’re almost done with the cutie cake, I’ve got a piñata, we’re going to play pin the tail on the pony and I even know music we can dance to!”

“Okay then, get right to it Pinkie, Fluttershy shouldn’t have a party without a cake.” I watched as Pinkie gasped and zipped off to continue helping Mrs. Cake.

“Would you like some drinks?” Mr. Cake offered as he came over to us, it seemed that it was a slow day here in the bakery.

“Sure, if you have pomegranate juice or lemonade.” It wasn’t too long after we got our drinks that Fluttershy was seen coming in, she spotted me and mom easily enough and immediately fluttered over to us.

“Nice to see you again Jade, Kuril and Tempest.” Fluttershy's attention was quickly grabbed by Fizzle. Fluttershy turned a questioning gaze to her.

“I'm Fizzlepop Berrytwist, it's nice to greet you properly.” Thus was the start of the party that would soon be ruined by circumstances beyond our control.

Chapter Three, Parties, Pukwudgies and Pirates: The party scenario.

-Fizzle-

I think things were going okay, for the most part, after Fluttershy and the others arrived. Kuril had pulled the parents off to the side to have a conversation with them and left us to our own devices. We were left to party with Fluttershy, who introduced us to her little brother Zephyr and her best friend Rainbow Dash.

For some reason there was a slight bit of resentment in Jade’s eyes as she looked towards Rainbow Dash. It was soon after that I remember the story she and her mother told about the crashing airship after that rainbow exploding across the sky being caused by Fluttershy’s friend. So Rainbow Dash was the cause of that.

We all ate cupcakes as Jade introduced herself to Rainbow and Zephyr.

“I’m Jade La Perm and this is my best friend Fizzle. I would like to say it’s nice to meet them cutie, but I’m taking a raincheck on that after what Rainbow caused to happen.” I could kind of understand where Jade is coming from, but if that had never happened… then we would have never met. I felt a constriction in my chest at the thought at not having met Jade or her mother Kuril, also did she just call me her best friend? “Also I don’t know about much about your brother either.”

I blushed and my heart sped up a bit, it made me feel special. She liked me even though I didn’t have my horn and I know she definitely liked my eyes, her thoughts on how they sparkled had made me feel a bit unusual before. It was only now that I was beginning to understand this feeling, now that I was actually willing to acknowledge that I was something special to both Jade and Kuril.

“Huh, what did I do?” Were voices supposed to sound that scratchy? The pegasus likely needed something for her throat and I didn’t have anything on me that would do that. I didn’t have much more than the cloak and it smelled nice.

I was going to try and give this Rainbow Dash a chance, she obviously didn’t blow that airship out of the sky on purpose. If that hadn’t happened, then I wouldn’t have met Sekhet, Kuril and Jade. I still didn’t know what to think of Fresh Start, but at least she didn’t stare at my forehead as if I were some kind of monster.

I remembered where I was the day that rainbow explosion happened. That rainbow explosion had me quite baffled and I couldn’t quite figure out what kind of magic would be able to cause something that powerful that had been so visible for miles on end. I had moved towards it looking for the powerful source of magic thinking it could help me and the disappointing cause of it was sitting near me right now.

Rainbow was the cause of that incident and I kind of wanted to thank her. Not for causing the airship to crash of course, that would be stupid of me to want to have happened, but for helping me to meet my… is that what I thought of them?

We hadn’t known each other for long, but I was willing to call them Jade and Kuril my family. A family that didn’t care that I couldn’t do magic with my horn, they accepted me anyway. They cared about me and the wonderful snuggles and hugs they gave certainly weren’t coloring my views on this at all. My face was definitely not scrunching up if someone were to look at me at this moment.

“I told you that you knocked one or more airships out of the sky with your Sonic Rain Boom Rainbow.” One or more? What did Fluttershy know that I didn’t? Though I do admit that the airship that Jade and Kuril were on couldn’t have been the only one in the sky that day, it was just the only one that I absolutely knew about personally.

“Really, that’s so…” Rainbow stopped in her building excitement by Jade’s flat angry stare. Rainbow’s nose immediately went to her chest and her wings wilted. I didn’t know Jade could glare that hard or get that angry, she seemed rather laid back most of the time.

“Think about all the lives you endangered before you continue that sentence, you almost killed me and my mom and I know for a fact that Celestia told us all the other passengers were badly injured.” There was nothing to say to that, Jade had a good point and I had to side with her on it. Rainbow was getting away with a lot here come to think of it, who knows how many she could have just accidentally injured and it would be without repercussions to herself. Since those who were injured wouldn’t know who to blame, we on the other hoof did know the cause and exactly who it was. “I and my mother are the only ones that were mostly unscathed. I had to fight a chimera to protect your friend not too long after that incident too.”

“You were also the one who knocked me off the clouds at the start of the race Rainbow.” The reminder from Fluttershy made Rainbow wince quite a bit and it had me wondering what race she was talking about. Rainbow did that explosion thing because of a race? “The Sonic Rain Boom was beautiful, but it’s a bit… dangerous. I at least found my cutie mark because of it and that’s what we’re currently celebrating right now. So can we please drop the subject?”

“Yeah, because I want to talk about this pretty kitty right here!” Zephyr the green furred and blonde haired pegasus brother to Fluttershy moved up next to Jade, leaned over and wrapped his right hoof around Jade’s left arm and tugged at it. I don’t think Jade appreciated that or his bravery in this matter considering her reaction.

-Jade-

“Remove the hoof or else you’ll quickly learn why you’re not a cat kind of pony.” I lifted my right hand. With a single flex my claws popped out and were soon under the colts chin. I was making him sweat quite a bit. “I can and will scar you for life.”

“Okay, okay, I understand. I guess I’m just too much for such a sophisticated kitten like yourself!” He shrunk back and whimpered as I swung my claws towards his face and paused long before I would even come close to impact, he popped his left eye open at my claws in his face and swiftly closed it again. He thankfully released me and turned his romantic attention away from me and onto a less dangerous or threatening target. I retracted my claws and nodded to his intelligence in the matter. “Hey, are you seeing anyone Rainbow? I hope you can see the rainbow connection between us, because we’re at both ends and we can definitely meet in the middle.”

Rainbow Dash gagged loudly, rolled her eyes and stuffed a cupcake into her mouth. The party might not have started all too well, but it eventually got better. At least I thought it did when Pinkie joined in and brought the fun, that wasn’t happening yet as Rainbow Dash had to ask me a question.

“Wait, couldn’t you have done that awesome wing thing you did the other day when we saw you fly by with the Wonder Bolts? That was so cool!” I would one day hope to expand Rainbow’s vocabulary because quite frankly she was going to end up saying ‘awesome’ and ‘cool’ for the rest of her life. Rainbow was certainly a ‘mondo’ example of her species when it came to brain power.

“I didn’t know I could do that until a day or two after the airship crashed, so we could have still been grievously injured. The wings are also quite a temporary and limited thing.” A temporary thing that lasted longer than the arbitrary expected time limit of five minutes admittedly, flying was fun but it puts a lot of stress on the body that wasn’t naturally or magically aerodynamic already. “Can we change the subject now Rainbow?”

“I… er… I’m sorry for everything that happened to you.” It must have been hard for Rainbow to apologize, she was giving me a pathetic look.

I decided to cheer Rainbow up in the general Sugar Cube Corner style, all it required was a bit of shouting to attract 'her' attention. I wonder if Pinkie would actually react to this at all, I mean she only started recently so she couldn’t possibly take parties that seriously yet… could she?

“Pinkie Pie, sad sack, frowny face, unhappy party guest alert!” If one of those didn’t, holy flipping Duat! How did she… oh right Pinkie can use out of sight teleportation and I just invoked her name with several words.

She immediately appeared as if she were Candle J… I better not invoke that name even though this isn’t the right dimension for him to show up in. Anything could happen with Pinkie Pie and I wasn’t willing to deal with Mr. Jack if he actually shows up, I wouldn’t know where to find a hot pie and a trap on such short notice. Maybe Sweet Apple Acres for the pie, but the trap would still take a while to set up.

Pinkie had appeared next to the table as if out of nowhere examining Rainbow’s face sternly and closely, her presence was making me think too many weird thoughts and I started to roughly shake my head to get it back in gear.

Even Rainbow was a little surprised and knocked out of her funk by the hyperactive filly’s sudden presence.

“She needs some CC’s stat, which means some cuddles and cake!” Maybe I really should have thought of invoking Pinkie’s name through a bit more, it was too late now and I wouldn’t be able to stop the party pony from partying us with every ounce of her being. “We can also get her into a party game, but she needs that look off her face like yesterday!”

Pinkie’s hooves were hugging Rainbow and she was frantic to get out of Pinkie’s grip. Sorry, not sorry Rainbow, but it’s already too late for you… and the rest of us of course. Well then party pony, bring… it… on!

-Fluttershy-

Things turned out so nicely when Pinkie joined the party, pin the tail on the pony was fun, the cake was delicious and Rainbow was smiling again. Jade really enjoyed hitting the piñata... a little too enthusiastically. Pinkie is a really good friend, though she’s a bit too exuberant sometimes. I wonder how Jade knew that Pinkie was under the table… or was Pinkie even under the table before she popped up. I’m kind of confused now… oh the pony pokey!

I know what it’s all about, but Jade would have some problems sticking her hooves in as she didn’t have hooves.

-Fizzle-

I have to admit that Pinkie was an interesting creature, I didn’t think she was a normal earth pony. No pony should be able to move that fast or be all over the place like the pink ball of energy. Pin the tail on the pony was quite interesting, though I think Jade was cheating using her knife to increase her dexterity after being spun around several times.

-Rainbow-

So I might have been in trouble with the strange talking cat, but I think we’re cool now… maybe. I wanted to do the Sonic Rain Boom again, but I was going to be careful about it the next time I did it. Well if I could figure out how I did it the first time anyway, I wanted that to be my signature trick for the Wonder Bolts!

Oh the cake is so awesome, now if only this crazy pink pony would let me enjoy it instead of bugging me every five seconds. Heh, she was doing so much to get me to smile and she was succeeding every step of the way, I’m really beginning to enjoy this party.

Wait… doesn’t this count as my cuteceanera too? I really need to ask my parents about this, I mean Fluttershy wasn’t the only one who got her cutie mark that day!

-Kuril-

“I knew my daughter wouldn’t hurt your son.” I was lying of course, I didn’t know for sure if Jade would have clawed him or not if he had been a little more insistent on hitting on her. It was still nice to see Jade smiling and happy as this Pinkie Pie started directing the party with what I assumed to be her special talent. “See, they are doing alright.”

“I don’t know Hothoof, maybe we’ve been encouraging Rainbow a little too much.” Ms. Whistles understood when I told her of all the damage Rainbow caused with her stunt after that race, at least we all knew what her special talent was.

“Or maybe we haven’t been encouraging her enough! She’s special in so many ways Windy.” The two nuzzled each other, I kind of felt sad that I didn’t have that kind of relationship or a significant other in my life.

Fluttershy’s parents were less enthusiastic about their daughter than both Hothoof and Whistles were, but they were loving parents all the same and I doubt anyone could be as enthusiastic about raising a daughter as Rainbow’s parents could be.

“Hey, why do I feel that you’re sad about something?” I looked down and noticed Pinkie staring up at me, oh goodness she could sense sadness… and possibly fear.

-Pinkie-

Party, party, party, I want to have a party~! Let’s get a party going~! When it’s time to party, we will party hardy~!

-Jade-

It was some time into the party that all good things had to come to an end and it wasn’t my or anyone else’s fault really. It was the sound of screaming and running ponies that did it for me.

I curiously walked out the door of Sugar Cube Corner and an arrow slammed into the ground in front of me.

“Mom… do you remember how I said that there were good reasons I didn’t want to live here in Ponyville?” I was staring at a large problem, one that I could currently hardly comprehend or handle. I didn't have enough water in my body for this.

“Yes, why, what is going… oh dear.” She came up next to me at the doorway and paused, some of the buildings in Ponyville were on fire and it was quite clear that the town was being raided. Next to the Ever Free Forest, of course it was.

One might expect large monstrous creatures invading the town, instead it was a pretty sizable army of smaller invaders. Smaller than ponies, but they definitely had enough numbers to be a threat. There were also several ponies on the ground not moving, but they didn't look like they had been hit by any of the poisonous arrows.

“This would be one of them, because where else in the world could you possibly get attacked by an army of highland pukwudgies out of nowhere!” I pointed at the numerous hedgehog like creatures with sharp teeth down the street with crossbows on wheels acting as tiny mobile ballistae for them.

They were all wearing kilts and half their faces were painted blue, the blue ones humorously had half their faces painted white.

Author's Notes:

Pukwudgies are known for several things: Fire, poisonous arrows and leading people to their deaths with magic in a Fae court kind of way. They are dangerous tricksters to not be taken lightly.

MLP turned them into hedgehog like creatures that can fire their spines and show some intelligent group tactics. I'm going to mix in some of their true lore into this with some more intelligent versions of an MLP pukwudgie, mostly just to exacerbate things.

Chapter Three, Parties, Pukwudgies and Pirates: The dangerous scenario.

-Jade-

I admit that threatening Zephyr might have been much, but it was one of the best ways to get him to leave me alone. Fluttershy had just sighed from off to the side at my actions towards her brother, as if I weren’t the first one to turn him down that harshly. We got along well enough after that, thankfully Rainbow couldn’t make the same threat. Speaking of threat, the town was being raided by pukwudgies with a highland motif this fine late evening.

The party had been enjoyable, I even really liked smacking the piñata around. It was like a bouncy yarn ball. Now wasn’t the time to party however.

The crossbows on wheels with the poison arrows needed to be dealt with. The fires they were starting needed to be put out. The pukwudgies with the face paint down the street needed to lose their spears and swords before they hurt someone important to me. The most important thing that needed to be done was to find the leader behind this whole assault and deal with them in a way that wouldn’t upset a single pony‘s delicate sensibilities. I’d prefer to not to have to deal with this, but if they came our way I would protect my friends.

Okay examining the ponies on the ground not moving, they were still breathing and they weren’t bleeding. The pukwudgies were even ignoring them, why weren’t they getting up and running away then? Did they get nicked by arrows and were paralyzed?

I backed away from the dangerous mutant and possibly magical hedgehogs towards the entrance and mom put a hand on my shoulder. I looked at her worriedly and she gave me a brave smile.

“What do you have on you at the moment?” Okay, working with mom I’d be able to protect Sugar Cube Corner at least.

“Knife, sheath for it, fish scale necklace, four phoenix feathers, my clothes, my pack and various bits of dried fruit I’ve been saving for emergencies if I ever got lost. I left anything else back in my room in The Witch’s Fare.” Now that I thought of it, I could have been more threatening to Zephyr if I pulled my knife. No… that would have been too much for the colt, my claws were the better…

Mom grabbed me and pulled me roughly out of the path of several arrows that hit the door behind me solidly.

“Jade, please stop zoning out and give me some info on our little rodent problem here.” Oh right, I had to tell my mother what we were dealing with instead of… mom just pulled me inside and several more arrows punctured the door. “I wouldn’t go out there! It seems the town is under attack and some houses are being set on fire.”

Fluttershy’s parents cowered, Zephyr seemed a little less lazy and was starting to resemble his quiet parents and Fluttershy wasn’t happy with the sudden change in mood. Rainbow looked like she wanted to get into a fight, Windy and Bow were surprisingly taking the prudent action of taking cover.

The door seemed to be holding up, so standing behind it was safe for the time being. Another thunderous crunch noise made me and mom put some distance from it and the new arrow head sticking through it a few good inches. At least they had a limited rate of fire. It took them a while to draw back the small crossbow ballistae and even load them, but they were well protected by their numbers.

“Okay, pukwudgies are aggressive and intelligent, they like setting things on fire and can fire the spines off of their backs. The arrows are probably loaded with a paralytics, though I haven’t seen someone get injured by them yet. So at this point it’s just a supposition and I wouldn’t put it past them to have their spines coated in something equally dangerous as well.” I looked to Rainbow Dash looking out the window before she was pulled down by her parents who held her tightly between themselves. “It wouldn’t be wise to chase them if you’ve got them on the run. They are really good at laying traps for the unwary that follow after them, which definitely means keeping Rainbow out of being involved in any of this. I’ve got no ideas of how we’re going to deal with an army of that size.”

“Well we got to do something, those party poopers are being big meanies for being so small!” I was right there with you preteen Pinkie, we had to do something before they thought setting Sugar Cube Corner or any other nearby buildings on fire was a good idea.

At least Ponyville’s current weather team were already in the process of getting rain clouds to put out the fires, the pukwudgies were probably setting the fires to stop them from interfering in the raid. They certainly seemed to have plenty of ammunition to deal with unicorns and earth ponies, but they had nothing to stop lightning attacks from a well-trained weather pegasus.

“No… get away!” I moved to the window that Rainbow’s parents were ducked under and looked outside, there was a unicorn stallion on his back scrabbling away from something around the street corner. After a moment the pony’s eyes widened and he froze up.

He was still breathing, but he ceased scrambling for safety and like the other ponies laying in the street and just flopped onto his back unmoving.

A deranged clucking noise was heard and from around the corner came a small nightmare that I was afraid to go near. Said problem had a rider that was a larger than normal grey pukwudgie with an ugly kilt and malevolent purple eyes. The problem the pukwudgie was riding was a one eyed cockatrice that was wearing an eyepatch over its left eye, it even had a really cool scar across its beak.

The leading pukwudgie swung its tiny sword forward in our general direction. It growled loudly while waving the sword at the various other pukwudgies.

“I think that’s the leader, we have to deal with him to stop this attack or at least get them to retreat from town.” When the pukwudgie grabbed and pulled at its comb, I watched the cockatrice spread its wings, let out a crow and started to scratch at the ground with its feet. It was pointed towards the building we were all sequestered in.

“That explains the paralyzed ponies at least, let’s just not get hit by the arrows if they are more dangerous than being paralyzed by a one eyed cockatrice.” I knew why the ponies weren’t getting up now. “With only one eye a cockatrice can only paralyze prey or predators, at least it can’t turn anyone to stone.”

“Why are they focusing on the bakery?” Good question Fluttershy, let me answer it while they were forming up to march on us. Spine shooters first, followed by weapon wielders and the crossbow ballistae in the back.

“They’re likely here to steal food and I think the leader of that war band has a sweet tooth.” I could be wrong, but that pukwudgie definitely seemed focused on the Cakes bakery. His tongue was even sliding around the edges of his mouth in the manner that meant he was hungry.

“Well we have to do something, we just can’t let them take our livelihood!” I looked to Mr. and Mrs. Cake and then the few ponies cowering around the room, the only exception seemed to be Fizzle who had a calculating look.

“So if we got rid of the leader they would run?” Please don’t tell me you have an idea Fizzle, ideas tend to get people hurt. I wasn’t a hero, neither were you for that matter.

My mother and I are not some super powered saviors or people who can run straight into a wall of arrows and miraculously survive it. I also didn’t want my mom to get injured in this fracas, because I knew good and well that she’d put up a fight. Magical alchemy could do a lot, but we didn’t have the right stuff for a long fight.

“Well yes, but it wouldn’t be a good idea to give chase to them when they do start running. Even without their leader commanding them, they’d still be dangerous to give chase to if we manage to push them back.” Several more arrows impacted the bakery and they shattered the window to my right. “We’d have to disable the cockatrice first if we want to even get at their leader.”

“Well do something soon, because they’re getting another round ready.” Windy Whistles the mare with the short red hair with the oranges streaks glared over her shoulder out the window at the pukwudgies as she held her husband Bow and daughter Rainbow close to her.

“Would something reflective work?” I’m surprised that it didn’t take more than a second for Fizzle to think up a simple means to stop the cockatrice.

“Provided you could even get close enough to reflect its gaze back onto itself, the wheeled crossbows are covering that and I don’t want to find out what those arrows are coated in.” The leader was pretty bright, anyone that could cause him trouble had to deal with his mount. Anyone that could deal with his mount would be attacked by the artillery. All bases covered pretty well with several other pukwudgies running around starting fires. “We need some pegasi in the air to use lightning bolts on their crossbows, then we’ll be open to dealing with their ground troops. Isn’t there a back door to this place?”

“I’m not abandoning our home!” Mr. Cake looked irate that I would even suggest that, which I wasn’t.

“Get a mirror!” Fizzle shouted to Mrs. Cake, the blue furred mare quickly started up the stairs to find something.

“That’s not what I want you to do Mr. Cake.” Did I seriously have to be the one to point this out? “We have pegasi here and they can go to get help, we need you guys to get airborne and to find someone that the weather team can spare to use some lightning bolts on those wheeled crossbows before we can really start fighting back. We’ll hold them off here, though I hope you don’t mind if we use your baked goods as ammunition.”

Rainbow’s family moved away from the window and towards the back after Fluttershy’s family. Several pukwudgies spines started pelting the floor at their heels as they made for the back door.

“Works for me, if they want something sweet then we’ll give them something sweet!” Pinkie moved up to the window with a large cupcake platter and started tossing cupcake at the pukwudgies. There was a grunt of aggravation as I heard the sounded of a cupcake splattering against one of the spiny nuisances. “Return fire, we’ll barrage them with cupcakes!”

The marching pukwudgies were getting closer as Mr. Cake was getting the two pegasi families out the back. We covered their escape with thrown cupcakes and hoped help would return in time.

I know I suggested it, but why do ponies almost always immediately agree to use thrown pastries as weapons when it’s brought up?

-Fluttershy-

We were able to safely get away, but looking back towards the ground almost made my wings lock up, there were an awful lot of pukwudgies attacking the bakery. I hope my friends would be safe.

-Fizzle-

I felt something brushing across my face and I reeled back from the window in shock still holding a cupcake.

Okay that arrow almost got the hood on the cloak… and my face. They were scarily accurate with those crossbows. I threw a cupcake out and splattered one of the pukwudgies that were backing towards the bakery and firing their spines in volleys, at least the pastry knocked a few of them down.

“Pinkie get us some water, we’re going to need it after this!” I watched as Jade and her mother crawl up to the window and then inhaled sharply while covering their faces, what were they about to do?

The two crouching Abyssinians angled their ears and then fired several powerful bursts of water from them, it was rather bizarre to watch in action.

I looked out the window as the water exploded in a series of concussive hits that struck the spine firing formation coming towards us and even hit the pukwudgies behind them. The weapon wielding formation was still mostly standing, but the spine shooters were mostly down.

The cockatrice riding pukwudgie was organizing the weapon wielders for a full on charge, all those tiny spears, swords and clubs wouldn’t be pleasant to face up close.

“I got the mirror!” Mrs. Cake, the swirly haired mare with the raspberry mane came down the stairs with a round compact, just what I needed to deal with the cockatrice. Now we just needed those crossbows out of the way.

“I really don’t like doing that, my poor ears.” While I listened to Jade’s whining and she was getting a glass from Pinkie, I watched the pukwudgies forming up for a charge and… was that a battering ram?

Where in the world did that come from? Did they just build it or did it just arrive? It certainly wasn’t there a second ago.

“I know how you feel right now my little tom cat.” Kuril was also complaining and was rubbing her ears vigorously before she received her own glass of water, I don’t think they could do that again so soon. It literally took a lot out of them. “That really stings, at least I know my ear wax is cleared up.”

An arrow went through the door and nearly hit Mrs. Cake and sunk into the counter, she fumbled with the mirror and caught it. I made my way over to her while avoiding several arrows flying through the broken window.

“Here you go, if you can’t get it back to me then that’ll be okay.” After giving me the mirror Mrs. Cake quickly proceeded behind the counter where her husband held her close. I just looked at how close the two were for a moment, before returning to the broken window.

“Okay there’s an armored battering ram now.” Flatly delivered Jade. “Where in the world did that even come from, this is completely ridiculous!”

What could we do aside from abandoning the bakery? I certainly wasn’t going to brave those wheeled crossbows. Wait… didn’t this cloak make you stealthier on its own after it was used as a magical alchemy sustain once? Even I could use the self-sustain effect since I didn’t have to do anything special to activate it, but I wasn’t going out there until those crossbows were gone.

“So, what can we do now?” I looked out the window and saw several cupcakes coming from above and they landed in front of the battering ram and on the wheels stopping them up. The crossbows were turned upwards and fired, a squeaking noise was heard and the two Cakes gasped.

“Pinkie Pie!” The two bakery owners made their way upstairs to make sure Pinkie was okay.

-Jade-

“Okay, time to do something drastic!” If they were willing to aim lethal implements at Pinkie, then I was going to do something dumb to stop them. “I know this might do something odd, but we were running out of cupcakes anyway.”

I cast with a cupcake.

Author's Notes:

(New Alchemy Ingredient!)

10. Cupcake (Yes, seriously).

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Likely none.

Self-Sustain: Delicious.

Chapter Three, Parties, Pukwudgies and Pirates: The off-screen scenario.

-Kuril-

My daughter must be somewhat clinically insane, even if she did have a point about the absurdities that went on here and the ponies that have to live with it. It doesn’t help that my daughter decided to fight the ridiculousness of this evening assault with her own fire. I should probably tell her that fighting fire with fire tends to cause more fire to spring up everywhere.

I mean using a cupcake as a cast. Inventive surely, but it’s weird considering we’ve been using items that didn’t have a limited lifespan or so many different elements to them. I’m pretty sure most perishable food items wouldn’t be very useful for sustains, but a cast? What would a cast with a cupcake even do?

Most of the casts we’ve been doing were with things we wouldn’t mind losing and were singular solid objects we could get away with casting.

What was the essence of a cupcake really? Our practice of magical alchemy so far seems to be following a trend of the effect being definitively connected to the object used in some intrinsic way as far as casts are concerned. So I was worried when Jade reacted badly to hearing Pinkie squeak loudly from upstairs after getting shot at by those little ballistae.

At least Pinkie delayed the encroaching battering ram pretty well with a few well thrown cupcakes.

The cast was a lot more powerful than I thought for something as temporary as a delicious baked snack, the effects were also impossibly bizarre. How does a cupcake cause all of what is happening now? How was I going to remember all of what’s happening here? Sure it’s memorable, but what were the exact effects the cupcake was having?

-Fizzle-

Okay, so, Jade did a cast with a cupcake, didn’t she say that doing a cast with multiple things at once would do weird things? I didn’t think she meant literally this weird... what were in the cupcakes again?

Let’s see icing, the cake itself, vanilla and some of them had fruit filling. Jade liked the strawberry ones, then again she had a notable thing for fruit.

“Jade… what the… I can’t even find the words for this.” I really couldn’t, there were no words for it. Just what was this cast doing and why was a cupcake making all of that happen?

-Jade-

The horror, what have I just unleashed? No seriously, what did I just do to those pukwudgies? Well I can certainly say that I’ve stalled them for the next few minutes or so. Hopefully we’ll get some air support before then and it’ll wipe out those crossbows.

The cupcake had disintegrated in my hand, I unleashed the magic created by said sugary treat out the window towards the pukwudgies threatening Sugar Cube Corner in the shape of a wide cone of glittering magical light. I probably shouldn’t have done that, the effects were instant and quite horrific.

This late evening assault couldn’t possibly get any weirder than this because now… now I wasn’t going to ever look at cupcakes the same way ever again. Oh, I’d still eat them, I would almost never do another cast with one though.

“I think I might have just broken the Ge-neigh-va convention.” There were horrified screams from the pukwudgies and what was happening to them after I had managed to hit them with the magical wave and those screams became quite warped seconds later as things got worse.

“In this case, I would try to disagree with you by pointing out that ponies probably don’t have these pukwudgies in a formal peace treaty.” My mom just watched the chaos going on outside as the pukewudgies were quite impossible for the leader to organize at the moment. “I would try, but I think I’d have to agree with you on this one. I’m adding cupcakes to the banned list of magical alchemy ingredients.”

The only pukwudgies still assaulting Sugar Cube Corner were the crossbow crews still firing arrows into the bakery, they had been far enough away from the magical wave I launched out the window. A cupcake was quite a short range magical alchemy cast, but the effects were obscenely horrific. The leader had also unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you feel, evaded the horrors that the cupcake had unleashed upon his people.

“Hey, the frog mucus is very useful I’ll have you know!” It was, it’s just that my mom didn’t see it that way.

“So remind me if I’m wrong, but didn’t the frog mucus cause a massive mess that plastered both of us to the nearest wall? It took hours before someone came and peeled us off them.” Look mom, it was a definitively useful effect. It’s just that we weren’t prepared for it is all! “It took me forever to do the laundry again.”

“Hey, it was a useful effect, we just need to be ready for…” Mom held up her hand stopping me and then she just pointed out the window in response. It made me look at the horrors I had inflicted on the puckwudgies. “Oh that? That’s temporary…. probably… and you know it! It has to wear off eventually and then they’ll be back to happily raiding Sugar Cube Corner.”

“Didn’t you tell me that your knife sheath protect you from small bladed weaponry?” Yes and I knew where you were going with this Fizzle, but I’ll just wait for you to ask as I’m not that rude. “Why can’t you use that to rush the leader right now?”

“Their wheeled crossbows are still up, the knife sheath only makes me resilient. It doesn’t stop the arrows from nicking me even if they won’t puncture straight through me.” I knew what I was doing Fizzle, I’m not a complete idiot. I’m only partially an idiot for casting with a cupcake, it was disturbing to watch the end results of that and would haunt my nightmares. “Trust me, I’m quite certain there is poison on those arrows. So even a little nick would be a bad thing for me, especially while doing things that would make my blood pump the poison through me faster.”

“Well that explains why Pinkie isn’t responsive, we need to get her some help!” Mr. Cake came down the stairs clutching at a pale looking Pinkie in one hoof, there was a shallow bleeding scratch at the base of her neck and she looked to be having problems breathing.

“Patch the scratch, I can take care of the poison.” I wasn’t going anywhere without a phoenix feather on me just for such an occasion as this. I brought four, one for me, Fizzle, mom and a spare. I’d have to return to Canterlot soon if I kept using up the feathers, unless I could find a better source of them instead of just interrupting Philomena’s little bird seed gambling ring. “You do have a medical kit right?”

“Right here, but how are you going to deal with the poison? It looks like pinkie is having a really bad reaction to it if it it’s just a paralytic.” Setting down a medical kit Mrs. Cake looked to me, I just simply pulled out the same phoenix feather I tried to use on Fizzle a day or so ago. Pinkie was a hyperactive pony, a paralytic would certainly cause havoc on her body and have a very negative reaction. Sitting still was not something Pinkie would ever do voluntarily, unless she was sleeping or relaxing. “A feather? What’s that going to do?”

“Exactly what I expect it to do. Now bandage her already, this feather will cure the poison. The pukwudgies are occupied at the moment.” An arrows zoomed by my head coming close enough to one of my ears that I could hear it making a whistling noise before it impacted the back wall, I slowly crouched down with a weak grin forming on my face as I corrected myself. “Mostly occupied.”

“We’ll all be happier and better off when those crossbows are taken down.” Muttered Fizzle angrily as she and mom came over to me. “I’m so thankful it didn’t hit you, but they are really accurate with those things. I don’t suggest standing still and being highly visible.”

Pinkie’s neck wound was quickly cleaned and bandaged, I held up the feather and used the resulting white flaming ball of fire from the cast on Pinkie. Her color returned immediately and she was soon breathing better as the white flames sunk into her body and burned out the poison.

“You okay Pinkie?” She smiled up at me and nuzzled her face against Mrs. Cake’s leg in response. “Yeah, she’ll be fine. I can only do that three more times though, older more adult ponies would probably be able to handle the poison better. You see, this is why I don’t want to be nicked by pukwudgie poison Fizzy.”

“Well we can’t just sit here waiting for the effects of the cupcake cast to wear off on the pukwudgies, they’re going to be very mad when and if they can recover from that.” What did you want from me Fizzle, those crossbows were still very dangerous to… approach?

Several cracks and flashes were heard outside, we looked out the broken window and watched as a pukwudgie abandoned one of the remaining crossbows and it exploded in a blast of lightning. It was about time we got some help.

“That’s our cue Fizzy!” The crossbows were destroyed and their ammunition supply was still laying around and I had an opportunity to pick up some of those arrows for later. The only pukwudgie not trying to recuperate from the sudden loss of momentum to their remaining offensive capability was the leader.

The pukwudgie commander turned his stead towards me as I exited Sugar Cube Corner and the cockatrice crowed loudly trying to look me in the eyes. I covered my eyes with my right arm as I grabbed for my knife with my left hand.

Fizzle was nowhere to be seen as I had a cockatrice with the world’s ugliest pukwudgie on it coming at me to stab me with his sword and I couldn’t look at him or else his mount would get me.

“Hey you, chicken lizard riding jerk!” Okay that cloak really was quite effective if it let Fizzle get behind the pukwudgie leader. I lowered my arm slightly and saw that the purple eyed pukwudige had turned the bird around, only for the cockatrice to stop as Fizzle held the open compact mirror up to the cockatrice.

The cockatrice clucked confusedly as its magical stare bounced back into its own face. It flopped onto the ground in a boneless heap dropping the pudgy pukwudgie. The pukwudgie got up and started stomping on the ground while angrily shouting what sounded like expletives.

“Excuse me, but can I get a little lightning bolt action down here on that guy?” I received an answer from above when a small bolt struck the lead pukwudgies backside causing him to yelp, he turned to his battered army and started calling for a retreat. By then the cast effects were wearing off and had taken their toll. There were barfing pukwudgies everywhere forming up for a quick retreat, while continuing to puke as they did. “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome!” I heard back from the pegasus up in the clouds.

“This is so gross, all of this is going to take a lot of time to clean up.” I stepped around whatever the pukwudgie puke was made of, I was sickened to my stomach just looking at it all. I wasn’t going to use that cast again on anyone unless they were a mortal enemy of mine. Speaking of enemies, Fizzle started to follow after them. “Fizzy what are you doing, you don’t follow pukwudiges for any reason!”

“I’m just going to make sure they don’t stick around!” Fizzle was already sneaking out of my sight and off after them. I sighed, I need to follow her to make sure she didn’t get hurt.

There are many reasons as to why you don’t follow pukwudgies anywhere, even when they were retreating from you! Knowing mythology as well as I do, they already have multiple traps planned for their retreat long before they started attacking Ponyville. Even if she was still stealthy thanks to that cloak, stealth didn’t matter if you couldn’t spot a trap or avoid them.

-Kuril-

What a mess, the Cake’s home had been wrecked by arrows and there were hundreds of spines sticking to the wall outside. That poor delightfully cheerful little filly Pinkie got hurt, but my little tom cat and Mrs. Cake took care of that soundly. We’d need a fresh source of phoenix feathers if we were to keep dealing with poisonous or mystical problems like this.

I watched as Jade stopped to gather several of the arrows that were left behind, she then moved off to chase after Fizzle.

The strange rainbow colored vomit was both disgusting and kind of appropriate considering what casting a cupcake did to them. That horrific sight was going to be burned into my memory for quite a while and I was still quite unsure of the true effects, but at least it worked and it wasn’t like Jade had actually killed any of them. I’m quite sure that some of them will actually wish they were dead after that, but I wasn’t about to care for the psychological scarring that the pukwudgies may have received from this.

A bright and powerful explosion happened in the distance and I rushed to the location, to see what happened. I hoped my girls were okay.

-Fizzle-

It seemed that they were still leaving town entirely, but where were they? I had lost sight of them as I crept up the bridge at the edge of town and looked around. It seemed that the pukwudgies were no longer dangerous and I just wanted to be sure they wouldn’t bother Pinkie or anyone else any time soon. I turned around and started to head back into town.

“Darn it Fizzy, watch out!” I turned back to Jade charging up the bridge in a panic, she tapped her sheath and jumped to my left. What was she…? An arrow slammed into Jade’s chest with enough force to send her rolling over my back with a yowl and off the side of the bridge into the river below with a huge splash of water.

I stood there for a moment trying to comprehend the series of events that just happened, I turned around slowly and narrowed my eyes beneath the hood. I could feel my body shaking and my horn started sparking wildly with magic, some of the magical energy splashed against the ground as I felt the world turn bright red. I was angry… no this wasn’t any simply anger… it was something more powerful than that and my magic was responding how I felt right now.

This feeling was not directed just at the pukwudgie or the crossbow, it was also at myself for letting this happen.

It was pure rage!

-Jade-

Okay, my world was pain. My body was surrounded by water, there was blood in it. I tried to reach into my pack to get a feather, I was getting quite numb. It is Equestria, so fast acting poisons were likely a thing here and... my knife sheath saved me from the arrow’s blade, but I was going to black... out...

Author's Notes:

(New Magical Alchemy Information!)

10. Cupcake (Banned by Kuril).

Cast: (New!) You don't want to know.

Sustain: Likely none.

Self-Sustain: Delicious.

(New, but banned, Magical Alchemy Ingredient!)

11. Frog Mucus (Banned by Kuril).

Cast: Magical wide area sticky substance bomb (Hard to get out of clothing).

Sustain: ???.

Self-sustain: ???.

Chapter Three, Parties, Pukwudgies and Pirates: Privateers need no privacy.

-Rainbow-

“I think I’m going to join Ponyville’s weather team before I become a Wonder Bolt.” The monsters were driven back to where they belong and I thought it was just plain awesome that no one got hurt too badly.

“Rainbow, you’d have to know what you’re doing to be on a weather team.” I turned to Flutteshy and gave her one of my patented smiles.

“You worry too much Fluttershy, I’ll be great at working on the weather around here!” I am going to be so awesome at making the weather around here worthwhile, but first I got to make enough money to buy up some airspace for a house fit for someone as cool as me. “It’s an easy job with a lot of free time to practice my moves and I can get in a lot of naps too!”

“I’m going to go check on Ms. La Perm, she’s carrying Fizzle back and I don’t see Jade with her.” I kind of felt bad for Fluttershy’s party getting ruined, it was kind of my party too. I looked to my parents and my mother just ruffled my mane.

“Go on Rainbow, don’t let Fluttershy go down there by herself.” My mother urged me on after Fluttershy prodding me with her wing. My parents could be so embarrassing sometimes, but I know they loved me. “Check on your friends and come right back, we’re headed for home and you need to get some sleep. So say goodbye to your friends, we’ll keep watch up here.”

“But mom…” I yawned loudly, okay I admit I was tired. The party was great until those little hedgehog things showed up and ruined our fun. I set out after Fluttershy, she was my best friend and I was supposed to look out for her. I failed to do that once, never again.

-Fluttershy-

I stopped in front of Kurilian outside of Sugar Cube Corner, I thought that was a strange name for a pretty and friendly cat lady. The ground looked really icky and it was quite smelly, whatever that stuff is I wasn’t going to touch it. Unlike Rainbow apparently who was looking quite tempted to poke at it, was she going to grab a stick? She was... she was absolutely going to poke at that stuff.

I sometimes fear that all the friends I have are weird, but at least Pinkie seems normal. I was always so shy around other ponies, but Pinkie wouldn’t let me stay out of the party and she was so friendly about it.

I think I’m not as shy with Kuril or Jade because they’re not ponies. Sure they’re not like normal cats, but they remind me of them and I like cats. Well I also liked dogs, squirrels, birds and a lot of other creatures scaled or furry, I knew what I wanted to do in life and that’s working with animals in some way. It was my special talent and I really liked that it was my special talent.

If Rainbow was going to live here in Ponyville, then maybe I can find a place here too. I’d prefer to live on the ground though. You know instead of the sky, something a bit closer to nature.

I really liked Kuril, Jade and even Fizzle as friends, only I didn’t see Jade anywhere and Fizzle looked to be sleeping peacefully in Kuril’s limbs. Having friends that weren’t ponies was interesting, well Fizzle was a pony but it was hard to be shy of her when she was already so distant. She was even wearing that cloak to hide her lost horn, it’s really sad to think about and she had been warming up to the party so well too.

“Kuril, is everything alright, where’s Jade?” I watched as she carefully put the sleeping Fizzle on the ground, I idly wondered where Fizzle got the cloak. It looks like something Jade would wear given how big it is, maybe Jade gave her the cloak?

I should take up sewing, it’s a nice safe activity and it can even be used as a medical skill! Taking care of animals… that’s my dream job now and I’m going to work for it.

“She’s fine, it’s a good thing that nobody was seriously hurt. Pinkie got nicked by one of the arrows, but she’ll be okay. The only thing left now is for the Cakes to clean up their damaged home.” Why did I think Kuril was trying to hide something, her words sounded a bit… off… to me at least. “Jade’s making sure the road home is safe, we have a place built and everything. Poor Fizzle here tuckered herself out from all the excitement and there are no longer pukwudgies causing problems here. We ran them out of town.”

“Hey Fluttershy, hurry it up! We need to get back home so we can sleep and get up to do some fun things tomorrow." That was Rainbow, she was always in such a hurry to go everywhere or go to sleep. I’m surprised she’s not as upset about all this as I am, she sometime doesn’t consider the feelings of others even if she defended me from those bullies. "I’m sure things will be okay here.”

“Wait, you have a home?” I asked as they had come to Equestria to make a home for themselves and now they had one. It made me happy that I could possibly visit them since they were going to be staying here in Equestria.

“Yes, Celestia herself came and turned the crashed airship into a home for us, she even wants us to help build a town there.” Really? That was quite nice of the princess to do for them, if I were a princess I’d want to help them out of the goodness of my heart too. “I’ve even got a restaurant up and running out of our home called The Witch’s Fare, you can come by whenever you want. Bring your family on by if you want some of my cooking! First meals free for you Fluttershy.”

“Okay, I will.” Though I’d wait a few weeks, it seems like Jade and Kuril attracted way too much excitement for me to handle, I needed time to get back on my hooves. I gave Kuril a smile despite feeling that there was something I was missing here, Kuril turned to talk to the Cakes and I saw a tired looking Pinkie with a bandage on her neck. “Pinkie Pie are you okay?”

“Oh come on Fluttershy, your friends are fine!” I think Rainbow could learn to have a little patience. “Let’s go already, my bed is calling me!”

“I’m okay Fluttershy, just a bit tired. Come on back when pukwudgies aren’t invading the town for another party okay?” Pinkie seemed to slow down and gave a long drawn out yawn, which got me yawning as well. It was getting really late. “I get to throw you your next birthday party Fluttershy! What day is it anyway? I Pinkie Promise I’ll never forget it, cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye! Oh and today was a bit scary, but things are going to be okay… once we finish cleaning up this mess at least. I don’t think I like party crashers all too much.”

I smiled and told her when my birthday was and she told me hers, we hugged one another and said goodbye. I was saddened that I didn’t get to say goodbye to Jade, but I said goodbye to her mother and was on my way back to Cloudsdale.

I tried to ignore the feeling that I was missing something, things would be okay as nobody was seriously injured right?

-Kuril-

Okay a little white lie wouldn’t hurt the young mare. I didn’t know where Jade actually was, but the huge crater left behind by Fizzle was quite noticeable and an indicator that she might know where my daughter went. She look like she expended her magic all in one large burst and it knocked her cold.

I think the pukwudgies learned their lesson from all of this, never let my daughter use a cupcake for magical purposes. The only thing in the crater was a badly hurt pukwudgie with several bits of wood sticking into its body. I’m sure it’ll be fine, it didn’t look too bad and was still breathing.

Just like I’m sure my daughter was fine, she could take care of herself after all… but I still worried about her. It was my job to be her guide in this world and I wasn’t doing a very good job of guiding her at all. She really doesn’t ask me for guidance despite being her mother.

I felt kind of helpless sometimes because my daughter was smarter than the average kid. I felt like a bad mother at times even though I logically knew I wasn’t that bad… was I? I did lose the location of my daughter in the aftermath of the highland pukwudgie raid, she could be alone and hurting. In that situation would Jade really be so scared and calling for me?

Not likely, she’s a tough one and would be more worried about me and Fizzle.

Now I have to carry this pony back home by myself, I was not going to abandon Fizzle and I wasn’t about to let her abandon us either. I’m sure whatever happened, Jade will turn up eventually. I claimed responsibility for this pony and as such I needed to take care of Fizzlepop to the best of my abilities. She is definitely family, but in what capacity? An adoptive daughter? A potential daughter-in-law maybe?

Still, I trusted my little tom cat to come back to me in a relatively good condition, at least with her body intact and no missing limbs. I had to stop fretting and keep moving forward. I held Fizzle close to me and started heading my way home in the darkness looking for that ever burning light. If I see the campfire still going back at Airship Mauled, then I know Jade’s perfectly fine and can rest a little easier knowing she’ll eventually find her way home.

She just has to.

-Jade-

“What is this now eh? We didn’t see anything like this running about on the airship when we shot it down. A stowaway perhaps?” The throaty voice of a bird like being made me stir a bit, I opened my mouth and coughed up quite a bit of water and then I opened my eyes to the light of day. “What in the world… appears we dredged up a live one here boys! I don’t know how a half drowned kitten like you is still alive, but you must be of some importance. If not, then becoming a slave might work for a survivor like you, and we can earn some coin selling you to the highest bidder.”

I wish I hadn’t opened my eyes I was laying on my side on the deck of a water logged ship, assumedly an airship that was shot down and then was raised for looting opportunities by what I would assume to be sky pirates. In my view there was a griffon gazing down at me, I could see the sky and in it was an airship hovering above with a black flag on the ship and a rope ladder leading to the deck I was laying on.

My body was still trying to fight the effects of the poison, so I could be excused for not immediately leaping up and trying to jump into the river, sea or wherever I was to end up on top of the airship that they had recently shot down.

I was thankful for my water breathing ability, it was why I wasn’t what something else dragged in. Coughing up the water every time you left it got annoying, but my body did prefer fresh air. I was thinking too slowly, because I just realized that he implied he was going to try to find someone to ransom me to or the likely worse option, sell me into slavery.

Now that I thought of it, magical alchemy prevents me from being tied up or bound. Better yet, do a partial cast and then return the chains or rope back to their original state and leave no evidence of how I got out, it would certainly give me more materials to work with. Now that was rogue thinking and mentioning rogues, I was being lifted by one of the heftier looking griffons that came forward.

I’m pretty sure I’m getting shanghaied into what will be an amazing adventure for me in the world of being forced to do some jerks bidding… provided that I didn’t escape my situation and I had plenty of methods for doing that.

“Look at what we dragged in captain!” The burly griffon slapped me bodily against the deck, I think the poison was thankfully numbing the pain. “It’s a cat.”

When this poison fully wears off, I will kick all of your asses just for that joke at my expense alone. I’m quite a petty kitty and cats are the ones that are supposed to be dragging things in, not the other way around!

“So we dragged in a cat eh? Well see her to the brig, she doesn’t look like she can talk a wit and I’m perfectly fine if she never talks again.” I’m sure there’s a certain place in Tartarus reserved for a griffon like you with your black beak, solid scarlet colored feathers and that jaunty tricorne. “When she starts moving around a bit, we can keep her fed just well enough to be worth something to someone. If she dies, then we strip her bones for food and then throw the rest overboard. We won’t let the lass go to waste now will we? She should be proud to be of some use to us.”

Your scarred grizzled face doesn’t scare me in the slightest. Your amber eyes may be sharp and giving me a once over as if I were nothing special because I was a bit waterlogged. But know this you feather bearded jerk, I promise to be more trouble than I’m absolutely worth and you will eventually learn to fear the name of Jaded La Perm!

“Well lass, this just isn’t your day is it?” The thug started to carry me down into the ship towards the brig. “Whether You’ll be for food or pleasure, you’re going to be in for some unpleasant business soon enough. I don’t even know if you’re aware right now with that glassy look in your eyes, but you’re going to be a guest of Captain Gash until we figure out what to do with ye.”

I was carelessly thrown unceremoniously into a cell at the bottom of the airship and I just glared at him.

“Oh sure, now you’ve got spirit , but you’re not going to be able to do a thing to us in your current condition. You won’t be needing your effects either when we’re through with you.” The burly thug didn’t seem so tough, even if I couldn’t take him in a fair fight. He took away my pack and my knife, he thankfully left the clothes on my body. At least he was letting me have some dignity as he closed the door to start walking away. “So enjoy the ride cat, for however long that lasts.”

Chapter Four, DLC: Defining Loquacious Consciousness.

-Sekhet-

I find myself curious as to where the rogue sun priest jade was, Lady Kuril had come home without her. I was loathe to involve myself too deeply in the affairs of mortals, mostly since I didn’t want to deal with the emotional pain of them eventually dying.

I was actually thinking of seriously becoming a guardian of a place once more, I was a Sphinx after all and I was meant to protect things of precious value. The temple had nothing left of worth except maybe the sleeping mask in the sludge pit. I valued life far more than trinkets, though I wasn’t about to give up my nemes.

Celestia tied herself to mortals all the time, only to never marry or fall in love with them for good reason. She had probably lived long enough to know what kind of problems most young immortals face. Very little is permanent in this world aside from those of us with lifespans that can far outstrip that of a dragons.

I also didn’t have much reason to seek out war or take part in one for any side, challengers didn’t come to me for I was far too powerful and I couldn’t be challenged. At this point I’m a mostly neutral entity with some bias towards what I’ll loosely call my subjects, of which live in this general area. The serf really hadn’t done much more then clean and maintain the restaurant, the laughably small school building and the train station with no tracks leading anywhere.

They may not worship me, but I didn’t care much for praise that was unwarranted. Other gods preferred to live in decadence or extravagance, a trap which Celestia couldn’t escape from as she chose to be a ruler and thus built a gilded cage of her own making. Her people really needed guidance to learn how to fend for themselves instead of relying on fickle contrivances and the magic of harmony itself to protect them.

All it would take is Tirek getting free to topple Celestia’s kingdom and she doesn’t properly prepare for the other inevitabilities that will happen eventually, her sister being one of them. It would be hard for anyone as long lived as we were to miss the image on the moon, we remembered what the moon used to look like after all. Celestia likely seeks Jade’s aid in the latter, but doesn’t think of the former and ignores the other possibilities like Discord getting free again.

Discord is chaos, chaos can never be held back permanently as it was an intrinsic force that the world needed or else the entire world would stagnate. Try telling Celestia that and she’d likely get upset. I couldn’t and wouldn’t stop Discord if he was freed, but he couldn’t do anything to me or mine in turn unless they did something to him first. If he did something to mine first, he would earn my wrath.

Sealing things away does not prevent them from becoming a threat again, it just left them to be forgotten to become an even bigger threat that no one in the future knew how to deal with. Provided that what you sealed away has a long lifespan or eventually changes into a shade, wraith or revenant out of anger.

I preferred to be praised or worshipped for doing something of logical merit. If someone was weak, then I could trained them to be strong. If someone was dumb, then I should teach them to be clever. If they were both weak and dumb, then I’d be looking more closely for the true hidden potential.

Fools could do more things than even those of vaunted genius or impossible strength, mostly for the fact that fools will achieve things in ignorance that others would hastily claim impossible in cowardice. Never challenge a fool to prove you wrong, they will always try to at the very least. Impossible only exists if you stopped thinking outside the same shape that everyone else thinks within.

A fool’s strength is not just ignorance, but also determination to do something deemed impossible physically, mentally or magically with their very being put behind the effort.

Fizzle had used all her magic in one burst, but she had controlled it so finely that I could feel the effects from here. Fizzle had been angry. Her rage had felt unquenchable and then, much to my surprise, she unleashed it safely without repercussion to herself and the magic did what she willed it to. It definitely destroyed the object of her ire.

I am not stupid enough to think that I know everything or that there is none stronger than me, for one can always learn more and there are beings out there that can rival my raw power. I can be humbled and I shouldn’t get angry when I am, I should learn from the experience so as to avoid being humbled the same way twice.

That said, I envied some of what Celestia had. Only I think she would do better without the endless praise and false adulations that were continuously shoved down her throat, which is mostly done by those seeking more than what they already had to work with or even barely deserved at all.

“So Lady Kuril, what happened to your daughter?” As far as war goddesses went, I had no war needing my attention at the moment and I wanted to try my paw at leadership without being directly in control. Something more advisory like a vizier to a pharaoh.

It is no longer the time of pharaohs, rulers and kings, but I could make it work and would have to make sure that my efforts remained quite contained to one area.

“I haven’t a clue, but Fizzle does.” Well Lady Kuril, news like that would certainly make Celestia panic. “We’ll know when she wakes up some time today.”

I on the other paw wondered what Jade was getting into this time, fending off a chimera was an interesting feat as much as forging wings with sunlight from a single feather. I could even smell it on Jade that she had bloodied the chimera and then made it leave her be in a rather unusual manner.

I wonder if Jade even knows what she truly did to that chimera, if she didn’t then things were going to get interesting around here when the chimera came to terms with its selves.

A lost sun priest is like a fool, something to behold with awe…. at a fair distance. Something spectacular was bound to happen when a sun priest, known for being guiding lights, couldn’t find their own way. What did this exactly say about a sun priest who wanted to be a rogue on purpose? Yes, I could plainly see the tapestry of life going quite awry at this.

I continued my contemplations as I waited for breakfast, Kuril was making fried eggs in a most unusual manner. I flipped backwards and shrunk down to a more manageable size to feed.

Looking at the motherly matron and thinking of family like I was, I was wondering if I should try to help my sister. Nah, she can stew for a few hundred more years.

Bastet had led an interesting fight against King Anubis and I would continue to stay out of the age old conflict of cats and jackals. It still hasn’t gone anywhere after a millennia and a war that lasts that long is dumb in my purview. Wars always had purpose and an eventual end goal, whether that goal was uniting the world or conquering it.

What my sister started wasn’t a war, it was just the continuation of an endless petty squabble between two factions with no end in sight and I washed my paws of it. My sister sometimes flirted with chaos too much, which would explain why I heard hearsay of her licking Discord one thousand years ago and that he ran like a bat out of hell. I think Discord had the right idea in that situation, which is why I’m better off where I am today.

For today, I am contemplating becoming the guardian of Airship Mauled and maybe I’ll eventually tell Kuril that her cooking can do more than just taste like divinity.

-Jade-

Come on… come on… why won’t my big toe wiggle? They made it look so easy in the movie! Then again that was a movie and it was in a more comfortable position than I was currently in. Wait… I was uncomfortable? I could actually feel a part of myself, thank goodness for that! The poison must either be wearing off or I might be becoming more resilient to it.

I tried twitching every muscle in my body until I found a response, my eyes went to my right hand and a single claw popped out. Yay, I can still be the Abyssinian equivalent of rude! Now if only I can get my arms working.

“The cat in the brig is a quiet one, I don’t like it when they’re quiet.” My right ear twitched as I heard the tall tell sound of a thug talking near my cell, I’ll call him thug one.

“She’s been too roughed up, she’s no threat to us and can hardly move in the condition she’s in. It’s a miracle she’s even breathing with how long she had to have been in the water.” Not really a miracle, more of a useful ability me and my mom gave ourselves. Permanent water breathing, it’ll keep you from drowning thug two. “What can that lass even do with a bum shoulder and that wound to her chest? Maybe she can bleed on us perhaps?”

“I don’t like it, there was no sign of her being on the ship before we raided it and we just happen to find her on the deck coughing up water after we raised it from the depths?” Thug one grumbled something unintelligible. “There’s something fishy about that cat mark my words, she doesn’t look like a normal Abyssinian and she doesn’t have the markings of a noble birth.”

“You’re just being paranoid. It’s not like she’s a murderous kelpie and besides, Captain Gash has already decided her fate.” Thank you for underestimating me, I’ll make sure you get your comeuppance forthwith when I can finally move more than a single claw on my right arm. “See, the lass hasn’t moved from her… it seems there’s enough life in her to make unseemly gestures at least and not much else.”

Oh hey, I can flex my digits now! They were in front of the cell staring at me and they even noticed my rude gesture. Aw, thanks you guys, you’re the best captors I’ve ever had! You’re also the only ones I’ve ever had and I don’t count Canterlot as having held me captive.

“I still don’t like it, someone who can hold their breath underwater for more than ten minutes has to be a legendary pirate that no one has ever caught in the act. I will agree that she looks too pathetic to put up any fight... at the moment.” The two griffons turned away from me and walked away from my cell. It appears thug one was one of the more instinctive intelligent guards. Well this would be tricky then, I wonder how crazy I can drive everyone? “Don’t underestimate a prisoner just because she’s waterlogged, injured and possibly even poisoned. Cats be dangerous creatures when rubbed the wrong way. She certainly didn’t get this way through malnutrition and she had a knife on her, she’s someone who know how to fight and that’s dangerous.”

“She’s in the brig, just let it go already. She’s not going anywhere as she is.” As thug two said that, my eyes lowered to the big toe on my left foot. It didn’t wiggle, but all my claws popped out on my left foot and I retreated them just as quickly. “We’ll be in Turtle Toga soon enough and then she won’t be our problem anymore.”

Give me one good hour and I’ll at least get my dried fruit back from you. Also Turtle Toga? If that’s the kind of place I think it is, then I was going to be in a place filled with cantankerous pirates, brigands, thieves and rogues of the worst sort.

Sounds fun, but I probably wouldn’t want to live there. The property values must be a steal at least.

These guys weren’t exactly my kind of people. No honor among pirates unless you were part of a tightly knit crew, then popularity and notoriety also came into it. I had neither. Some pirates just wanted to prove themselves better than the rest by waving the bigger stick around and would go to great lengths to show that they could get away with more than any other.

I preferred noble rogue’s or pirates with at least some code of ethics, Captain Gash looked like a griffon that liked to get his claws dirty and I didn’t think we’d ever be friends. Oh hey, I can put weight on my leg now! Only a little more bodily control and then I can start planning to get some food for myself.

If I could spook the pirates enough and maybe grab a few griffon feathers before I jumped ship… then they’ll want to leave me alone. Silent antagonist mode engaged! I don’t say a word and I can infer that I’m not the one causing all the trouble on the ship. If I’m good enough at it, then maybe I can convince them that it’s a Changeling causing trouble.

If we’re over sea, I’ll just have to wait until we get to this Turtle Toga place to make my escape. I’m sure there’s a small airship I can ransack for my own purposes, in what I hope to be a mostly lawless place that won’t care if one goes missing.

-About thirty minutes later-

I prodded the bars that I was weakly standing next to, one of the rules of magical alchemy is that there is a limit to the size, weight and mass of an object that can be used in a cast. It was, kind of, proportional to the user’s size.

As such I couldn’t use the whole planet, all the air, the entire sea or anything as large as an entire airship in a cast. I couldn’t threaten to destroy the entire world using magical alchemy if I ever got the idea to go megalomaniacal, but I could use it for a bluff at least once.

The door on my cell? No problem, as it wasn’t entirely connected to the ship and was its own separate object.

-Minutes later-

“Oy, cat, if you can move then this will be your… where did you get that?” I just simply looked up at thug two and raised a silent brow at him and continued eating my dried fruit. He absentmindedly shoved the gruel he was holding through the slot.

On today’s menu was the sweet and sugary dried pear chunks with a side of banana chips, which will be washed down with the water from my canteen.

I just looked at him as if he were an idiot and shrugged, if a griffon ate my snacks in front of me then I was going to get testy about it.

I started putting my fruit in the gruel after I tasted it, it was so much better with the fruit.

Author's Notes:

(New Magical Alchemy Information!)

Partial Casting- Thanks to watching a phoenix feather reconsitute itself, both Jade and Kuril have the knowledge that they can stop, hold and even reverse the process of a cast.

Said process can be quite useful for getting through doors or doing many other things. When a cast is reversed instead of used up, it'll revert to it's previous state as an object.

This could possibly be used in aid of enchanting objects with magical alchemy, but testing would still have to be done to see if it is possible.

Magical Alchemy list. (No banned items shown.)

1. Fish Bones (simple).

Cast: Water breathing (Temporary passive water terrain survival buff). Breathing water as if you had gills, permanence can be achieved with repeated casts.

Sustain: Swimming efficiency and deep water survivability increases.

Self-Sustaining: Luminescence. Once used as a sustain effect, bones glow softly on their own.

2. Fish Scales (simple).

Cast: Fish Scale Skin (Temporary defense buff). Possible permanence with multiple casts, more effective underwater.

Sustain: Water Projection (Offensive ability). Able to spit or project volatile volumes of water, drains fluids from body with excessive use. You can actively control the volumes of water you project and how focused that projection is.

Self-Sustaining: None.

3. Raven Feather.

Cast: Survive a fall, fall on something safely or possibly target launches and falls on something by user’s choice or at random. (One time air terrain survival buff, possible Offensive ability). Target tends to end up freezing twenty feet above something living.

Sustain: Projecting thoughts. Not able to receive thoughts, but you can project them to others.

Self-sustaining: none.

4. Sunlight.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Smoke signaling. Causes smoke to appear as if something was burning.

Self-sustaining: Warms the planet.

5. Knife.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Rogue Enhancements (Continuous passive buff). Heightened dexterity, agility and environmental awareness. Strengthens all mobility based buffs.

Sustain side effect: Inability to sleep or relax.

Self-sustaining: Trains muscles and exercises body for similar maneuvers used while wielding the sustain effect.

6. Knife Sheath

Cast: Traps one target temporarily (One use support spell). Time limit for stopping a target is the same every time for sheaths of similar design. Sheaths for different or larger weapons ‘probably’ improves time limit.

Sustain: Increased protection against knives, arrows and other small bladed weapons (Continuous passive buff). Warning: Does not protect against anything larger, or anything else for that matter.

Self-sustaining: None.

7. Alicorn Feather (Celestia).

Cast: Wings of sunlight (Limited air terrain mobility buff). Target is given wings of pure sunlight. Darkness, shade or shadows can weaken the flying power the wings generate, at night they'd be far less effective. The power of the wings can be combined with a knife's or similar sustain effects for improved flying ability. The wings might be extinguished by water and could be useless while it’s raining. Does not protect the user from gravitational or high speed stress and lack of oxygen at high altitudes like a pegasus would be by their magic.

Sustain: Redirect sunlight (Defensive support buff). Is only useful during the day and allows for blinding opponents or aggressors with light.

Self-sustaining: Minor protection from darkness (Automatic defensive buff while feather is on person). Needs to be charged with sunlight and to have been used as a magical alchemy sustain at least once to work.

8. Phoenix Feather.

Cast: Cleansing Flames (Support healing spell). Finds and stops negative foreign bodily ailment or ailments that are magical or mundane, does not heal damage. Can possibly stop positive ailments.

Sustain: Protection from the cold (Continuous defensive buff). Immunity to cold, increased defensive ability against ice and relative elemental based magic.

Self-Sustaining: None.

9. Jade’s Cloak.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: ???. (Effect seems to do nothing, need more information.)

Self-Sustain: Makes sneaking easier (Moderate stealth buff).

Chapter Four, DLC: Dumb Lackluster Corsairs.

-Jade-

Okay, may have acquired some suspicion when I got out of my cell and got some my snacks from my beloved pack. I now had someone watching me to make sure I didn’t do anything funny, thankfully it was griffon thug number two and I was absolutely planning to do funny things. Funny for me at least.

In my state I wouldn’t have been able to fend off griffon thug one if he entered my cell to beat me black and blue out of suspicion after the stunt I pulled with managing to sneak to my pack to get my dried fruit. I would always invest in waterproof travel packs, especially if you lived next to the ocean for the earlier parts of your life like I have. Soggy food doesn’t taste too good unless it was fish.

The griffon before me had a sturdy amounts of muscles on him. He wasn’t bulky, but he was big enough to be somewhat intimidating and the silver tipped brown feathers were kind of neat. He looked bored and was nodding off every now and then, how would I get him to leave so that I can escape my cell to commit some shenanigans?

They obviously wanted me alive, since I’m worth more that way. If I’m not caught moving around down here, then I might be able to get into their galley. Again, how to do that though?

I looked to the wooden ceiling and a figurative lightbulb went off above my head, so long as the wood was in good condition I could pull this off. I looked back towards the griffon and he continued to give me a bored look and I smiled at him faintly.

“What are you smiling about?” He asked gruffly, I opened my mouth and he looked interested in what I had to say.

I queried him with a happy sounding meowing noise and gave him a innocent look, I would play dumb until he closed his eyes for too long.

“I know you’re intelligent and that you still have your tongue in your head!” I tilted my head at the griffon questioningly and gave him dumb look as if I didn’t know what he was saying. “Don’t play dumb with me, nobody can just walk into a store and buy something by pointing and nodding.”

Sitting up and acting excited, I nodded and pointed at him and made an exaggerated friendly growl.

“I’m not going to dignify you with any further responses, now sit down and stop acting like you don’t know what I’m talking about.” Doing exactly what the guard told me to, I sat down with a serious look on my face as if I were constantly vigilant. “Cute, but cute is not going to save you.”

I kept my vigilant appearance as if I were waiting for a mouse to crawl out of a hole, Abyssinians never had rat problems for obvious reasons. After five minutes of nothing happening, the griffon closed his eyes for a bit too long.

“What the… where did she…” The griffon looked into the cell upon opening his orange eyes and looked both left and right for me. “Darn it, how did she get out? I’ve got to go tell someone about this!”

After listening for the griffon to be far enough away, I slowly lowered myself from clinging to the ceiling and grabbed the door, one partial cast later and I was on the other side of the door.

I released the cast putting the hinged cell door right back where it was, I proceeded to start sniffing the air as I left the brig. Griffons liked fish right? This was a pirate ship, now where is the fishy smell on this vessel? If it smells anything like fish oil, then I must be getting close.

I slinked down the corridor away from my cell, past my belonging that I wasn’t going to move until we reached Turtle Toga and went up the stairs. I ducked behind two barrels as several griffons went past and then I continued onwards sniffing the air. After passing by various doors I eventually found the empty galley, the only doors on this vessel with locks were apparently the cell doors and the captain’s cabin.

After closing the door to the galley, I rubbed my hands together. Now let’s see what I could get away with grabbing.

Checking the counter there were several candles here, many kinds of salts and some pepper. Did they use fish oil in their lanterns? Nice smell, maybe I should take some fish oil for some aroma therapy. These pirates at least had some taste. I look around as I stowed some candles in my pockets, both a salt and pepper shaker, along with a few stoppered vials of fish oil and continued on to find the larder.

Jackpot, there was fish here for the taking!

“She couldn’t have gone far, she might be trying to steal from the treasury!” Nope, why would I need pirate treasure thug one? Well it would be nice to be rich, but I was in a treasury of a different sort. Their food supply was my idea of a treasury, why would I steal money? It would just weigh me down and you would search me for it anyway when you find me, it wasn’t like I could escape right now when we’re still over the ocean.

I grabbed several large fish and stuffed them under my left arm while one went into my mouth. Eating fish a bit raw wouldn’t bother me, Abyssinians did it all the time when fishing. I enjoyed sushi and would have to get my mom onboard with the idea of making some when I got back to her.

I idly sucked on the mouthwatering fish juices as I started to make my way to the door. Mom must be quite worried about me. Well I’m equally worried about her and Fizzle! My ear twitched as something was opening the door, I opened a nearby cabinet and dove inside while carefully closing the door with a flick of my tail.

“She’s not in the galley!” Shows what you know exceedingly gruff thug voice number three, I waited and twitched my ears a few times before I snuck back to the two barrels. I then carefully made my way back down to the cells with my booty and entered the cell before the one I was originally thrown into and sat down to eat.

-

“I’m telling you Captain Gash she couldn’t have opened the door to get out.” Ah thug two was talking to the approaching red feathered bearded guy who thought he could hold me, well this will be the day you should take the hint that I’m more crafty than you’d think. “One second she was there and then she was gone!”

“Looks like she’s still in her cell to me, now who’s the yellow bellied scallywag that let her out and gave the lass fish!” I looked up at the captain’s angry countenance questioningly and smiled at thug two. All part of the plan, thankfully the captain hadn’t thought to ask what cell I had been in previously.

“Mew.” It was my only response and a happy sounding one at that as I looked towards thug two. I went back to ripping the scales off the fish I had with my teeth and consuming it happily.

Thug two gave me an angry stare and I started licking the fur on the back of my left hand in apparent ignorance before returning to my fish.

“She’s a smart one captain, I’m telling you right now that that smug cat is plotting our downfall!” Who me, thug two? Couldn’t be, I’m nice to you! Darn it, Sekhet and mom did infect me with the rhyming virus, it certainly felt like it would be a chronic thing.

“Mew?” I queried dumbly before continuing into my fish, thank you Abyssinian constitution! I even stopped to lick my right hand and rub it against my face cutely.

“She doesn’t even look like she has enough brains between her ears to be a threat to us!” You’ll regret saying that later Captain Bloody-looking-feathered-beard. “If she did, then she’d know to fear my wrath.”

He glared at me and I gave him an excited expression while rolling onto my back and pawing at the air, after that I took up a bit of fish in my mouth and made my way to him on all fours before dropping it on the floor and nudging it with my nose.

“I’m telling you right now captain, that cat is not normal!” He pointed at me with a talon, I moved forward. Since it was close enough, I licked the claw with my tongue through the bars and smiled. Somebody had been eating hippoglossus recently. “Gah, she’s pure evil I tell you!”

“Gilder… it’s an Abyssinian cat and a dumb one at that. It probably likes you and your habit of eating halibut.” Oh goody, I’m clearly as innocent as I acted for the captain. “Why she’s not even nearly close to being as evil as we are and… is that halibut she’s eating?”

Why yes, yes it was. Thank you for noticing Captain Gash! I’m your best friend forever and I would never try to betray you like the newly named Mr. Gilder here.

“Gilder, I appreciate you trying to dodge the blame for this, but passing the buck is a true pirates game lad.” Mr. Gash then proceed to glare harshly at Gilder who shied away from him, yeah this wasn’t going to end well for any of you by the time I’m through with you. “Do better next time if you’re going to try and frame someone else for any wrongdoing on my ship. Also stop sneaking fish you barnacle brained, starfish snorting, swordfish slider! I’m cutting the food you get for your next meal and you better not complain about it.”

Mr. Gash, the wonderful scarlet feathered griffon that he was, stalked off angrily and I just smiled at Gilder. He sent me a glare and I gave him a friendly noise for his troubles.

“Mew.” This time I gave him quite a mocking look.

“You’ll pay for that!” I rolled my eyes, I’d like to see him try and make me.

-

“Captain, we caught Gilder and Gaylord snuggled up to each other in the same cell that the cat was being held in and I think they rubbed fish oil all over each other. I suppose they moved the cat and locked the door to have some private time while letting the cat watch them.” What actually happened thug four, was that they both charged into my cell in an effort to beat the snot out of me.

I just set things up to make it look like the two manly griffons were getting it on, I mean that happens on pirate ships with so many men doesn’t it? Now if only the two guys had thought to swab up the slippery fish oil I poured on the floor before they charge in without their talons gripping the floor, then they wouldn’t have both slipped and slammed into the back wall knocking themselves unconscious. Aren’t I a precocious little kitten?

“Take the keys and leave them in the cell, what they do with each other is no business of ours as long as they can still fight!” Well that was rather progressive of you Captain Gash, maybe you do give some leeway to your crew and here I thought you were a complete and utter jerk to everyone. “Watch the cat Gibs.”

“Mew.” I happily intoned while wagging my tail at the poor innocent griffon named Gibs. They were going to need more men by the end of this.

In particular this Gibs looked and even smelled like a drunkard, which means that I could actually get away with doing things in front of him and nobody would believe him.

I had to remember to steal some feathers from these griffons, I knew I was having too much fun with this and should actually take my situation seriously.

-

“Mr. Gibs… can you please explain to me why you bothered to dye my hat the color PINK?!” I was quietly licking the pink raspberry juice off of my paws, I didn’t want to be caught pink handed by the lovable Captain Gash now. “You know I despise pink with every inch of my being!”

Gash was waving around his now happy looking jaunty pink hat, didn’t he know that real griffons wear pink? At least his bandanna was still black, it went quite well with the pink. Black goes with everything after all!

“It wasn’t me, I swear!” Sorry Gibs, but you didn’t take me seriously enough. Next victim if you will please Captain Gash!

“Who else has a taste for raspberry beer in this crew?” He glared at the griffon and shoved him in the cell next to mine. “Certainly not the cat!”

I didn’t like alcohol and would never imbibe it, it was probably why my previous life went so horribly. I really liked raspberries and most fruits though.

“It was her, it had to be her!” Okay, you’re a hysterical drunkard that drinks a really niche flavor of alcohol, who would actually believe you in this situation? Not me for one, especially if I were Captain Gash. “She was doing things like making the door disappear, she’s magic I tell you!”

Captain Gash grabbed the door to my current cell and shook it roughly, he tested all the bars and the lock a few times and I didn’t move from my spot when he opened the door and sent me a glare to stay put. I was the perfect model of innocence as I continued to lick my fur.

“Mew?” What magic, I certainly didn’t do anything unusual here like perform something magical in front of a drunk person and got away with it. He closed and locked the door, then he went back to Gibs.

“Why is it whenever we get a prisoner you jokers decide start screwing around behind my back in an attempt to make me kill them? We need the funds for food and drink in Turtle Toga. There’s food there that is a far sight better than eating that bilge swallowing cat!” My angry beloved captain at heart screeched loudly at the griffon making him whimper. “In some cases the screwing around is quite literal with Gilder and Gaylord. Also an Abyssinian that can do magic? What folk tale are you telling lad? She’s not old or smart enough to be an enchanter and I’ve had my time with a few enchanters before, those were some of the best nights of my life me hearty. She’s no plain-dealer in any sense of the word, now sit down and be quiet you lily livered buzzard!”

True, enchanters required a decent grasp of mathematics of which I was sorely poor at. So frankly I didn’t have to act like I was dumb this time. Magical alchemy wasn’t a mainstream thing or you’d be singing a different tune Captain Gash.

-

“Espy, descry, Turtle Toga!” My left ear twitched as I barely heard those words. I got up and did a sun salutation out of habit more than anything, time for the jailbreak. I hefted my pack and went to the cell door, my knife at my hip.

Author's Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OPc7MRm4Y8

Chapter Four, DLC: Demons, Love and Customers.

-Fizzle-

“So Fizzle, want to go out and play?” I turned to Jade and smiled, it’s been so long since I’ve had a friend like her.

“Of course I want to play with you Jade!” We romped through the forest until we saw a strange sight, a glowing orb that flew a small circle trying to entice us. “What’s that?”

“It’s a wisp. They could be omens for good or bad, depends on how you feel. I don’t think we should follow it.” Despite her words I felt enticed to give chase to the sphere, which soon turned into a bouncing ball from my childhood and I continued to follow it.

When the ball stopped, I looked up and saw that it was now night when it was once day a second ago. A large ursine shaped shadow loomed over me in the light of the moon and it raised its right paw back to swing forward.

“Darn it Fizzy, look out!” I was shoved to the side and then splattered with a viscous red substance, as I got up the bear stalked off into the forest. Turning to look at my savior I froze, making my way over to her I pulled her into my hooves and stared at her.

I sat there watching as Jade bled in my hooves with the arrow sticking out of her chest, I just held her in her last moments and I was quite horrified by the sight. I was angry at the arrow and the bear for throwing it. Wait… the bear threw an arrow, wasn’t it trying to use its claws?

Looking down upon Jade’s form, I considered how she was the first friend that I have had in a long time. A friend that didn’t expect or even need me to be capable of magic. I looked up at her mother as she approached slowly. The white robes Kuril was wearing turned blood red, as did her eyes.

“I welcome you as one of my own and you get my daughter killed.” Why was she growing larger by the second? “I’ll show you why you don’t harm the daughter of a witch! What say you Sekhet?”

“I say she’s guilty of killing her best friend.” I looked to see the giant Sphinx who was wearing a blindfold and holding some scales aloft, they were tilted to one side.

“I… I didn’t, I couldn’t have…” I looked down at the body in my hooves and the arrow sticking out of her chest. She wasn’t moving, her eyes were closed and her beautiful green hair seemed to be turning gray.

“You’re sentence is…” Before the blindfolded Sekhet could finish, a light shined and a glowing ankh formed in the air. Out of the ankh stepped a second more upset looking Sekhet.

“Who dares intrude upon this soul?” This Sekhet was not blindfolded and I watched her look at the blindfolded Sekhet with contempt. “Ah, a nightmare, of course one would pay a visit to someone who is defenseless and still recovering. Leave, you will not possess her or lead her astray, for she is loved!”

“You have no power here goddess, we nightmares have had run of the realm of dreams for hundreds of years unchecked.” The blindfolded Sekhet and Kuril started to slowly fuse together and shrink down into the shape of a pony made out of shadows. “The limitations we are under are weakening swiftly, it is only a matter of time until the living nightmare returns. The stars will aid in her escape, she will escape her imprisonment and all will be darkness!”

“Yes, so it has been said multiple times by many seers, nightmares and creatures of darkness.” A glowing ankh appeared intersecting the nightmares body and it froze. “Unfortunately for you, I do have power here. You are touching this mare’s soul and are evil, both things of which I find highly detestable. Souls are sacred, darkness is allowed and choices bad or good can be made without judgment. When it comes to true evil like you, I will and can smite you… with some help. Otherwise I can hold you in check until then.”

“You can’t actually do that, this is her realm and I control it!” What did this… was it actually a physical embodiment of my nightmares? That’s a bit scary and what did it mean that it controlled me? I didn’t believe that for a second! I turned to Sekhet with hope that she could do something.

“You have my permission to do what you can to help me Sekhet.” Saying this felt like the right thing for me to do, I believed in and trusted the strange goddess to do right by me.

“Luceat lux in tenebris.” At Sekhet’s calm words, my world was filled with light as bright as the sun.

The imaginary grass of the night with the blood stains of my friend disappeared as did the forest, the nightmare started wailing as it began evaporating. The nightmare was trying to scrabble desperately for a shadow to hide in, but the light that filled the sudden void left nothing except blue skies. The nightmare, having absolutely no place to hide, eventually faded from existence.

Soon several figures appeared at a distance standing on nothing. The closest was Kuril, almost within distance of patting me on the head.

The next and only slightly more distant was Jade who took a few steps forward and stopped near Kuril.

Beyond Jade was a second friendlier looking Sekhet giving me a warm smile as she moved forward several steps, she was nearer to Jade and Kuril now.

A little further behind the goddess was Fluttershy.

Farther still were Pinkie and Rainbow sitting still next to each other.

The other figures that were standing quite far away was Fresh Start, Zephyr, Fluttershy’s parents, Rainbow’s parents and the Cakes.

“I am surprised that you see me moving that much closer, the distance at which they stand represent how closely you feel for them. I’m sorry I trespassed on this.” With that an ankh formed around the real Sekhet and she slowly disappeared. “They’ll get as close as you want them to be, pleasant dreams to you.”

I blinked and I was sitting at a party, with Fluttershy talking about animals and her cutie mark. Jade was batting at the piñata with her claws as if it were a giant yarn ball, she looked silly doing that. Rainbow was zipping around going on about the Wonder Bolts to anyone who would listen. Pinkie was making sure I was okay and involved, she got me to play pin the tail on the pony and didn’t make me remove my hood. I saw Kuril chatting with the other parents and she kept looking my way with a smile.

There was a fuzzy feeling in my chest about all of these things and I didn’t want to forget any of this.

-

With a gasp I woke up. Sitting up in bed, the blankets tumbled down around my barrel and I looked about the room I had chosen as my own. Had any of that really happened? A pure white glowing feather fell from my forehead onto my nose making me sneeze.

“Ah good, you’re awake for lunch. Try not to attract any more nightmares through powerful feats of anger and magic please.” The alicorn sized Sekhet smirked, she walked away and closed the door with her tail as she left me to my thoughts.

I slowly got out of bed wondering what my dreams were trying to tell me and what nightmares was Sekhet talking about? I don’t remember having nightmares. I vaguely remember screaming and thrashing shadows, but not anything that can be considered a nightmare.

I moved towards the stairs and made my way down into the restaurant area. I got onto a seat at the counter and might have even said hello to Fresh Start. It wasn’t long before Kuril came around and gave me a hug.

“Sekhet said you were having problems sleeping.” Kuril was ruffling my mane and I reveled in the feeling of affection quietly. “You look tired, do you need to go back to bed?”

“No, I’m… okay I’m not fine.” My words made Kuril quietly tighten her hug. “Sekhet said something about me having nightmares and I think she helped me with them.”

“Well don’t worry, you're safe here Fizzle.” She eventually let go of me and went back to working in the kitchen where the smell of food wafted up from it. “It’s my daughter I’m worried about.”

I remembered a scant echo of my nightmare involving Kuril, only it sounded more demented and nothing like her at all.

“Jade, is she alright?!” I remembered the last thing I did, magic surging from my horn and exploding violently. I should have jumped in the river and grabbed Jade, instead I let my anger get the best of me.

“Calm down little warrior. She will be fine, her fire still burns bright.” Sekhet came up next to me and sat down to my left. “I guess you’re still a mess after that nightmare tried to wiggle its way into the darkness in your heart, Celestia’s feather was quite helpful in that endeavor. Do you mind if I clean you up? I am only offering once.”

“Er… okay, sure.” Sekhet turn me to the right and then she started licking my ears. This felt weird and I tried to shift about to ask Sekhet what she was doing.

“Stop fidgeting so much, this is how all mothers naturally take care of their kittens.” Wait.. what? Sekhet was treating me like a kitten? Well I was still technically a young mare. “No one did this for me when I was coming into my existence, so you should feel pleased I’m willing to do it for you. Even if your mane will be a problem. Why don’t you distract yourself with telling me what happened to Jade?”

That was actually kind of sad to hear, did goddesses even have mothers? Well they must have had someone at the very least? She continued to lick my head. This felt strange and really awkward, but I think I was actually beginning to like it and found it oddly comforting.

“The last thing I remember is after following the pukwudgies to the edge of town, I turned back not seeing any pukwudgies.” My ears wilted and I felt Sekhet’s chest pressing against my back as she continued to lick my head. “Then Jade… she ran up and took an arrow for me and fell into the river. I… I think I actually used magic correctly for the first time since my horn was broken.”

Sekhet stopped and coughed up a ball of loose fur. That was a bit much to have licked off of me, was some if it her fur as well?

“You should have kept facing the direction they went and backed away while looking for danger. They ambush the unwary that follow them and the Priest Jade was quite well aware of that.” She licked me a few more times before saying. “You need to work on your instincts.”

"Wait, the is campfire still going?” I hadn't asked what the significance of the fire was, but there was definitely something magical about it.

“Yes, the fire outside still burns.” After that Sekhet continued to lick away at my head and now my mane too.

“What does that magical campfire exactly do?" Fresh stopped dusting a table and came over to us. "I don’t think any of you have ever really explained it.”

“Only Jade can explain it in full. As long as the campfire burns, just know that my daughter is still alive. She might have fallen into the river with a poison arrow in her chest, but she can’t drown unless she loses her water breathing ability.” The robe and apron wearing Kuril came out of the kitchen looking a bit worried to me, it was good news to me that Jade was alright. “It doesn’t tell us of her condition though, I hope this is not another whale shark thing. That almost scared the life out of me.”

“Children will always scare their parents in so many ways as they grow.” Sekhet muttered before continuing to bathe me with her tongue.

“Fresh get ready to take some orders, we have incoming customers!” With that a twitchy eared Kuril turned around and went back into the kitchen.

What customers? Aside from me, Fresh and Sekhet, no one else was here to order anything.

“Excuse me if I may sound rude, but is this a restaurant that serves great food?” I turned to see three zebras enter the establishment, the one who had spoken was the stallion of the group. “The smell is quite attractive to my nose, there are quite a few other questions I would like to pose.”

“Things like what is this place, and of whom do we come to face?” The mare with the mostly gray mane next to the stallion stated plainly.

“Why does the smell feel like a Shamans alchemic brew? Also that campfire outside is quite unusual too.” The colt with them spoke up in rhyme as well.

“All great questions my family as we meet those who are new, I have currency as my family would like some food and a clue.” It seemed that Fresh Start did have something to do as she approached the zebra stallion and bowed to him.

“Welcome to The Witch’s Fare where all our food are tasty dishes, for it is all made by the friendliest of witches.” Okay why was Fresh Start… I started giggling as Sekhet’s tongue hit a particularly ticklish spot on my neck. “I’ll get a table set right up for you three, after I give you your menus I will leave you be. Please peruse the menus at your leisure, to attract my attention close the menus and I’ll be there quick within a timely measure. Now what would you like to drink?”

“Something fruit flavored, sweet and not alcoholic I’d think.” Okay this was getting a bit annoying to me now.

I opened my mouth to complain only to get a sharp tug on my mane that felt good, why didn’t it feel painful? It was then that Sekhet started cleaning my face.

“Hello there and welcome to Airship Mauled, this town isn’t very well established yet and we’re just getting started. Outside is the campfire of a rogue sun priest which happens to belong to my wayward daughter who farted. I’m Kurilian La Perm or Kuril if you will, I’m ‘The Witch of Good Taste’ with hungry bellies to fill.” The zebras giggled at Kuril’s words and I found the laughter infectious, maybe it was just Sekhet’s tongue slapping my face periodically. “What you smell is me cooking lunch, but I can easily get started on something for you guys. Over there being cleaned by our local goddess Sekhet is Fizzle and the waiter is Fresh Start. My daughter is currently off gallivanting around somewhere in the world, you’ll know her when you see her as she’s an Abyssinian like no other.”

"Oh that poor dear what happened to her horn, to be without that with which she was born?" The zebra mare made my mood dive steeply.

"Fizzle doesn't like to talk about it." Kuril stated quickly with a strained smile. "So please don't ask, it's really quite a touchy subject."

Author's Notes:

Lore

The campfire is tied to Jaded La Perm's life.

Chapter Four, DLC: Diving, Legends and Casts.

-Sekhet-

“Kuril is our current mayor.” I knew she wasn’t or that nobody had claimed to be mayor of this dot in the world, so I decided to do it in Kuril’s stead. I’m sure she won’t mind, it’s not like the zebras were going to stick around forever, they looked like they were well traveled. ”I’m here as her advisor to make sure Airship Mauled stays running smoothly, before you ask no I don’t want any leadership roles beyond what I have already.”

“Seriously?” Fresh Start asked as she came back carrying a tray of refreshments and gave me a dubious look.

“Would you rather it be Priest Jade?” My flat delivery had Fresh giving me a thoughtful look. “She’s crazy and everyone knows it.”

“Good point, Kuril is definitely going to continue being our mayor for the foreseeable future.” Now that someone had agreed with me, even if it was the serf, I was quite sure things would proceed apace.

The zebras probably didn’t know me by name or title. They likely didn’t know exactly what I was about as a goddess. Even with my nemes being a big hint as to where I’m from, it was sometimes better to not be well known. It would be bad for Kuril’s business if everyone ran away because of me despite how good the food was.

-Jade-

I had so far managed to avoid alarming anyone, despite the fact that I had taken an hour to test some new casts and sustains. I was just lucky that I had everything I could possibly need. In a straight up fight with any of these griffons I’d be in serious trouble as they had numbers, muscle and… no I wouldn’t say that brains are a thing with them so scratch that last one.

I was moving slowly and looking through the eyeholes inside a barrel, I wanted to get the hat that I dyed pink and turn it a more fitting green color. This would require that I cause a distraction and get into the captains chamber if he didn’t just throw the hat overboard. Better yet, I’ll steal all the hats that aren’t pink and then Captain Gash will have to wear it!

I needed some fresh clothing after this, but I can get that on Turtle Toga. There has to be at least one tailor that catered to all kinds of weirdoes in the town. I can steal or gamble for the money necessary for clean clothes, I probably wouldn’t even be asked where I got my money from.

Something hit the barrel and I barely held it in place.

“Blasted… who put this barrel here?!” Growling a bit, the griffon seemed to be thinking about what to do. “Nothing for, I’ll take care of it later. I’ve got other things to do.”

That was a close one, I didn’t want to spend any of my casts yet until I was up on deck or at least up another flight of steps. Limited resources and all that.

I carefully walked my barrel up the steps. Stopping at the top, I slowly turned the barrel left and right, coast was clear and I couldn’t hear anyone nearby. I moved up the next flight of stairs carefully and stopped in a corner. Up the stairs from here is the deck and in the opposite direction was Captain Gash’s cabin.

I could have gone up to the deck, but I was going for the captain’s door. If he wasn’t up on deck, I could figure out a way to disable him before he causes any trouble. I moved away from my sneaking barrel and touched the door, I started a cast and the door disintegrated. I moved to the other side and reversed the cast.

It seems the captain was on deck, which was good for me as I now had free reign of his room. Where would I put my hats if I were a captain? I’ll just check the treasure chest, I needed a map of Turtle Toga’s position in comparison to the rest of the world and maybe some cash for the road. Who would arrest me for stealing from pirates or thieves?

I checked the captain’s personal chest and since it was locked, I used a cast to make it disappear and reversed the cast in a different spot. This spilled the chests contents all over the floor.

Unless it was protected from magic, locks couldn’t stop me now!

Not like they could have stopped me or mom before, even if I couldn’t have reversed a cast. I could still have made a door or locked chest disappear without cast reversal, but I’d have to use the resulting magical spell on something if I hadn’t learned to stop casts. This way was much stealthier, given that people won’t notice a lot of missing things and I had Philomena and Fizzle to thank for this.

Without Fizzle being healthy, relatively of course, then I would have never found out that casts could even be reversed. Said knowledge of reversal wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for Philomena.

Looting done, now for my daring and epic explosive exit where I start falling with style!

-

I stomped out onto deck into the midday sun looking particularly proud of myself and with a swagger that none could match, I had found out what the hats still in Captain Gash’s room did when used as a cast. It was a time limited charisma buff, one that works with whatever you wanted to do too!

Why Captain Gash had three spare hats I’ll never know, his only spare remaining was the pink one. I was wearing one right now and the other one that hadn’t been pink had been used in a cast. I was going to destroy the hat Captain Gash was wearing as I made my escape.

I just tromped on by Captain Gash at the wheel and down the stairs with my tail flicking back and forth, I was smiling merrily as I made my way towards the gangplank with everyone staring at me.

Yes, I was enjoying all the attention! A likely side effect of the hat cast.

Be prepared pirates, because this was going to be one trick you didn’t want to miss from the Great and Powerful Jaded! Also its revenge time, someone here ate a portion of my dried apricots.

“Lass, I don’t know how you escaped my brig, but you better go back there if you don’t want be keelhauled.” Don’t worry Captain Gash, that won’t happen as I have something more fun planned.

“Mew.” I said smugly as I reached into my pack. I hid my griffon feather cast, I would probably be using two for this, and then I pulled out my first magical alchemy concoction.

I had figured out how to learn what the effects of a cast would be without actually doing it, I was going to show mom when I got back to her. She’ll be so proud that our art is that much safer now! Darn it, the charisma was getting to me, better do this now before they charge me with those swords.

“Mew-mew-mew mew mew~! Mew-mew-mew mew mew~! Mew-mew-mew-mew-MEW~!” I pulled my hand out of the pack and raised the cylindrical candle into the air while singing the jar of dirt ditty in cat and waved it around. Only the ditty would be more like ‘I’ve got a can-dle~, I’ve got a can-dle~, and guess what it’ll do’~! The griffons just gave me flat looks as I kicked and stepped onto the gangplank. My smug smile met their disbelieving faces. “Mew?”

“A candle lass? You must be dumber than I thought if you think that will be a threat to my crew!” I raised my brow delicately at Captain Gash. “Now come along quietly and I promise you that you will survive to be enslaved, despite my crew attempting to kill you.”

The candle exploded into what looked like a small constantly exploding firework in my left hand, it was my form of disagreement to the assumption that I was an idiot. I actually tested this before I planned my escape thank you very much.

The griffons who thought they were sneakily moving towards me suddenly stopped and backed well away from the shifting explosion in my hand with wide eyes. My right hand stealthily picked an arrow out of my pack, I also cast with it and held that behind my back.

I gave them all a bright, friendly… completely devious, misbegotten and quite an evil looking grin! It was the best look I could have ever had on my face while looking at the balloon holding this ship aloft.

All the griffons including Captain Gash started shaking their head no rapidly, I just nodded yes slowly with a broad happy looking cat smile on my face as I started bouncing on the gangplank. I’m pretty sure they were too distracted to notice I was falling slower and jumping much higher than I normally could with each bounce.

Once I got a high enough bounce I tossed the explosive cast straight at the balloon. While the griffons were distracted with that, a beam of energy exited my right hand and it ripped through Captain Gash’s hat. Petty kitty goal reached and achievement acquired!

I spun around in mid-air while closing my eyes and bounced off the gangplank as I high as I could go. I smiled as I felt the explosion push me forward and down at an angle.

After a second I spread my arms wide, opened my eyes and started to glide through the blue sky above the sea towards the only piece of land that I could see for miles of ocean.

I could vaguely see a busy looking town built on the landmass in the distance, which was my destination. I hoped I could reach it, as I had a natural inclination to fear sea monsters and a strong respect for the dangers that the ocean represented.

I left a falling pirate ship full of blinded and sneezing griffons in my wake, now heading towards the giant turtle shaped island.

My first magical alchemy combination was a success and technically the arrow was its own combination, so make that two magical alchemy combinations! I would need this knowledge to help Fizzle later. Combining a bunch of regeneration related ingredients together would seriously help her, a phoenix feather would even prevent any bad side effects from sticking.

All I had to do now, was coast through the air and maybe cast with another griffon feather. A griffon feathers cast was short lived.

“You’ll not be getting away that easily lass!” I looked over my shoulder at the swooping Captain Gash, he looked angry with me. I can’t understand why that would be, I did the most pirate thing imaginable and sacked some loot from his treasure chest and practically scuttled his ship.

Doesn’t he like pirates that do a good job? Some captain he is.

I reached into my pack and pulled out another beloved Chaos Candle. I didn’t want to use another so soon, but I had three flying griffons breathing down my tail and I’m not exactly maneuverable like this. This is why I had a backup plan in case there were some that had avoided the sneezing flash bomb.

Did you know I also found out that a cast can be sustained, but only if enough ingredients are used? This is why turned about in the air and held out another prepared candle and then did a cast sustain. As you can imagine I can’t use another sustain while doing this and given that I have to keep the cast going, I can hardly do any other casts while doing this too.

A jet of flame erupted from the end of the candle sending me rocketing out of the path of Good ol’ Captain Gash who went through the smoke trail left by the candle and started sneezing wildly. The other two griffons avoided the exhaust cloud I was leaving behind.

“Mew!” I called out mockingly as Gash had troubles flying and sneezing at the same time. I saw that one of the two remaining griffons rolled and swooped at my side.

I quickly angled the jet upwards and increased the rate at which the candle was burning away, he ended up with a face full of candle smoke and sneezing like his captain. I was getting much closer to the ocean, that only left me with about half a candle left that was getting harder to hold onto as I eased up on the burn rate.

The last griffon screeched angrily at me while shaking his fist, but he chose to go help his captain and friend. I smiled, as I was… falling much faster! I really needed a griffon feather before I hit the water!

I burned the rest of the candle immediately to slow my descent towards the ocean and quickly pulled out a griffon feather and started using it as my magical sustain. I didn’t want to waste more supplies than I needed to, the griffon pirates had obviously given up on me.

I didn’t know how many feet above the water I was, but I kicked off the air and my downward momentum stopped immediately and then I hit the water with a soft splash. I just did a classic long fall trick with the double jump that the griffon feather provided me.

The Isle of Turtle Toga was a few miles away in the distance. Time to use my knowledge of legends to see if they were true and if they were, I could get a ride.

“Shoo-be-doo shoo-shoo-be-doo~!” I called out loudly while treading water. And… nothing... seriously? After all that cool stuff I just did, this is where I get stuck? Maybe they hadn’t heard me. “Shoo-be-doo shoo-shoo-be-doo~!”

I waited a few minutes, still treading water and my limbs were getting a bit tired. Sure I wouldn’t drown, but I was afraid I’d be facing deep sea monsters if I didn’t get help soon.

A large shadow appeared beneath me and I hoped it wasn’t a predator, especially not a whale shark. I don’t like sharks in general at all, the shadow shot up underneath me and I closed my eyes.

My chest was slightly above the water now, I slowly opened one of my eyes and saw that I was being lifted up by a large sea turtle.

There was an equally big turtle right next to it too and with a small baby turtle on its back that had a piece of waterproof parchment in its mouth. The baby turtle held out the parchment to me, the turtle it was sitting on top of made a friendly noise.

I tentatively took the parchment and read what was on it… then my expression grew quite flat.

“Dear person who signaled SOS, we cannot come to save you from distress right now. Please accept these helpful sea turtles instead, we are sorry for the inconvenience. Sincerely Life Guardian, Seaquestria Turtle Toga Outpost.”

“Can you get me to over there please?” I stowed the message away and was looking to the sea turtle I was resting on.

It smiled and nodded and started to swim, I was upset that the sea ponies weren't giving me a song and dance number.

Oh, I just had an awful idea!

Sea turtles mate, sea turtles...

Author's Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3DjQID6g_s

(New Knowledge!)

Combinations- You've used magical alchemy before, but have you ever thought of what you'd get when you mixed things together?

Cast Sustain- Sustaining a cast stretches the burn of the items used for casting, requires a combination to be used.

(New Magical Alchemy Ingredients!)

12. Griffon Feather.

Cast: Feather Falling (Limited air terrain support buff). Lowers gravity’s effect on an individual for a minute.

Sustain: Double Jump (Continuous Mobility buff). Can jump off the air one time after leaving a solid surface.

Self-sustain: None.

13. Fish (or any) Oil.

Cast: Ignition (Multipurpose offensive and support spell). Ignites itself and anything around it except the user.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

14. Candle Wax.

Cast: Slow Down (Supportive debuff spell). Stiffens a target, can have a wide area of effect for reduced effectiveness.

Sustain: Heat resistance (Limited continuous defensive buff). Does not stop heat damage entirely and candle takes heat damage in place of the user.

Self-Sustain: None.

15. Pepper.

Cast: Sneezing cloud (Limited continuous Defensive spell). Wide range spell that doesn’t affect the user, causes continuous sneezing on contact and doesn’t necessarily need to be breathed to take effect.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

16. Tricorne.

Cast: Charisma boost (Limited status buff). Gives one the ability to walk around with confidence.

Side-effect: May instill need for showboating in user.

Sustain: ???.

Self-Sustain: ???.

(New Magical Alchemy Combinations!)

Combination 1: Candle Wax + Oil (any) + Pepper = Chaos Candle. Candle hollowed out and filled with the other two ingredients mixed together equals devastating results.

Cast: Sneezing flash bomb (Offensive one use spell). Blinding, sinus wrecking and volatile magical cast.

Sustain Cast: Weak jet propulsion device (Limited air terrain support buff), Flamethrower (Limited offensive spell). Doing this will slowly destroy the candle and chemicals used in it. Exhaust fumes has a lesser effect of casting with pepper.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

Combination 2: Feather + stick + arrowhead (material any) = arrow. Arrow + poison = special status ailment added to casting effect based on poison used. Pukwudgie Poison (Paralysis for a few hours).

Cast: Arcing Arrow Beam (Offensive spell). Fires a beam that is effected by gravity as if it were an arrow, it can only damage one target and that’s the first thing it touches. If it grazes a wall and then hits you, it will do nothing to you.

Sustain Cast: Spray of multiple weaker beam shots.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

---

Okay, the Magical Alchemy List is going to be quite complicated with time. Would having it as seperate chapter be illegal if it's an intrinsic part of the story?

Also because you might have had expectations, the thing below is probably the one I should have used at the top of the authors note.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27mB8verLK8

Chapter Four, DLC: Dangerous Living Conditions.

-Jade-

I hummed softly to myself, I was being watched by a few people on the busy pier full of pirates, brigands, thieves and rogues. There was a reason for this, I was riding into the harbor on the backs of two sea turtles with a baby seat turtle hugging my ankle.

In the distance I could hear the sounds of cannons firing, I could smell of gun powder in the air among the sea breeze as the gentle winds caressed this loud port town filled with all walks of life. Most of said life was violent, unruly and savage.

It left me wondering, what would my welcoming committee to Turtle Toga be?

The sea turtles were really friendly about allowing me to do this, they stopped at a ladder in the water and I got off of their backs. Turning to them as I clung to the ladder, I had a few words to say to my friends.

“Thanks for the lift, the cool entrance into port and for humoring my silly desires.” I reached up for the rung above the one I was holding onto and I heard a noise behind me. I turned to see one of the turtles holding the baby turtle in its flippers out to me. “Uh, what do you want from me?”

It held the baby up to me, in a ‘take it’ kind of gesture.

“You… want me to take the baby turtle with me.” The two large sea turtles nodded and I groaned. "Are you sure?"

I had heard stories about turtle parenting skills, but this took the cake. Again they were nodded that yes, they wanted me to have the little turtle.

I couldn’t tell you why they thought this was a good idea, even if Turtles were considered a wise creature this was a rather unwise decision on their part.

“Well okay then.” I grabbed the turtle and placed it on my right shoulder, it started to cling to me and nuzzled my neck fur. It even made a cutesy sounding hissing noises. It was probably a female then, female turtles tended to hiss where males tend to growl.

As far as companions went, turtles were generally quiet and friendly. This one wouldn’t be hard to feed as it was vegan species of turtle.

It was only once I was at the top of the ladder that I realized that the baby turtle was not the same species as the two turtles who gave her to me. The two turtles in question were leatherbacks, this turtle on my shoulder was a green sea turtle. I tabled my confusion for the moment.

“Is there any particular reason they wanted you with me?” Who would really expect a response from a young turtle like this one? I probably should have, as it shook its head no to the question. It pointed to itself with its right flipper and hissed a bit before pointing towards me. “You wanted to be with me?”

The tiny turtle nodded and I finished climbing the ladder onto the docks of Turtle Toga with a turtle on my right shoulder. I feel like I was being set up for some sort of cosmic level joke.

“Well I don’t know what to call you, so it’ll be a while before I give you a name.” I started along the pier towards town, at least it was a nice shade of green. “Also, I think you're making poor life choices.”

As I walked along the pier towards town, I spotted something yellow falling in front of me within my peripheral visual range and my foot happened to go down on it.

What followed was me slipping on what I can only assume is a banana peel and doing a complete backflip. I stuck the landing and caught the falling turtle on my right shoulder. I also grabbed my souvenir pirate hat out of the air with my left hand and placed it back on my head.

I blinked for a second and then slowly turned towards the one who threw the banana peel with an angry gaze.

“What exactly were you expecting to happen there?” I asked of the parrot girl just staring at me dumbfounded that I hadn’t fallen flat on my ass, she was laying on a bunch of boxes to my right. “I’m an Abyssinian, we can always land on our feet.”

“For you to take a bad tumble and me getting a good laugh for one. You seem like a smooth operator there captain.” She had black and white feathers, the long black feathers on her head looked almost like they were braided and framing her face. Her bright purple eyes surrounded by white feathers were filled with a sense of wonder as she looked upon me. Upon closer inspection of the lounging anthropomorphic parrot with a bunch of bananas next to her, her long feathers were actually braided together. It was a really neat look for the parrot, she was also wearing a white shirt and black vest and brown pants. “I’m…”

“No, wait, don’t tell me… Jaqueline Sparrow?” Because what else could she be named given her appearance.

“I wish... I’m Jacky Chickadee.” Wait, did Jacky here just confirm to me that there was someone actually called Sparrow in this world? How in the world does that work? Well this is a magical fantasy world with anthropomorphic bird people, so of course it works. “Now who are you captain?”

“Why am I your captain and what’s your angle here?” I wasn’t exactly known worldwide for my exploits yet, yet this Parrot already seemed invested in me. “I just got into town and I lack any form of notoriety whatsoever.”

“Then what better place to start than here, eh my wonderful captain? You need a guide and I need a friend!” Ms. Chick sat up while clasping her hands together and wheedled at me while I just stared at her blankly. She closed her eyes and continued speaking. “You see, it works out for the both of us and I don’t care where you’re going as long as I get to come…. along? Hey, where are you going?!”

I was walking away from this one at an even pace along the strip of buildings with various maritime flavors, I was washing my paws of that parrot immediately!

“To find a decent tailor, get some fresh clothes, receive the one rare as Tartarus soap bar in this dingy town, use it, do some extreme ship shopping and to get away from you!” I continued forward while shouting back over my shoulder. “I can get into all kinds of trouble by myself without your help! Also you didn’t answer my question and tried to dodge it, which would have been more effective if I were a complete idiot.”

“Oh come on, don’t be like that Captain Kitty!” She started to follow me into the town and I ignored her presence.

I passed by several salty sea dogs that were drunk. They were quite literal sea dogs, given that they were Diamond Dogs that seemed to be sleeping off hangovers. Average pirate grunts from the look of it.

I was walking by a store that seemed to sell compasses when the window was smashed outward and I stepped around the unconscious dark blue earth pony stallion on the ground.

There was a pitched fight going on to my right, it was between two cutlass wielding Minotaurs who looked quite skilled at wielding such small and lightweight weapons.

Now if I were a…

A thunderous explosion and a wall of dirt kicked up in my face. I looked at the ground and saw a cannonball resting there, having dug its way into the street ahead of me. That could have killed me, even if I had seen it coming it would have killed me had I been a few seconds faster. I didn’t have a cast or sustain that could have stopped a cannonball cold, except maybe the knife sheath.

“Okay I’m sold on you being my captain! A lesser pirate would have absolutely been in position to lose a limb. All the best pirates are the ones that haven’t lost a limb yet or are quite skilled despite missing one.” I ignored the commentary of the following Jacky. “So where do you want to… hey are you still ignoring me? Come on now captain, I’m offering my services to you with no strings attached you know!”

“It’s the unattached strings or the unseen ones that I’m worried about.” If this were a pirate story, then it was dangerous for me to even acknowledge that Jacky even existed knowing this world.

“Uh hey, you’re not thinking of going in there right?” I looked to the building Jacky pointed out and she seemed a bit reluctant to go in there. It was tavern, just the place I needed to go.

This was a world where two parrots could wrestle over a fish sandwich apparently, I moved past the two pirates fighting for the right to eat said sandwich at the entrance and entered the bar. It was less than what I expected, but it still had the feel of a seedy pirate bar.

I entered a cavernous open room with less than half its furniture smashed, by pirate standards this was probably the ritziest place in all of Turtle Toga.

There was the running dice rolling game at a table with unicorns that all looked to be cheating, their cutie marks seemed to be directly tied to gambling enough for it. I wouldn’t challenge them to a game if I was smart, it seemed to be about who could cheat the best.

I stopped to watch a pegasus mare with a cutlass cutie mark for a few seconds. She was in the middle of beating a diamond dog black and blue with her bare hooves. I decided to steer clear of that altercation.

There was a yak playing a piano… poorly. I would have probably been better off without ears right now, it was the most horrible thing I’ve heard since I got here.

I was noticing a distinct lack of Abyssinians of any kind here, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of an Abyssinian pirate before and I doubt I ever really would. When you were a mercantile nation, it was a bad idea to mess with your people’s ability to survive.

The odd thing out here is that the bartender was a yellow hippogriff with a blue bandana on his head, he looked up from the glass he was wiping. I sat down on the stool and gave the yak a glance.

“A yak on the piano… who did you lose a bet to for that to happen?” The hippogriff gave me a flat stare.

“That’s my wife.” That explained so much about the hippogriff, I looked at his wife and she wasn’t ugly by any means. She was probably a rarity around here and not too bad looking, but her piano playing was destroying my ears.

“That explains a lot about why you haven’t stopped her horrible playing yet, at least she looks nice.” He just nods at me without comment and continues to clean the glass. “Do you know anything about Jacky Chickadee, a place where I can get clean clothes and an airship that nobody would miss if stolen? Given the kind of customers you get around here, you can just point me at whoever you like the least.”

“Yes, on all counts. Jacky’s an odd bird, she believes one day she’ll find a lucky person to follow around by sticking around here. Not many people who are here are lucky in any respect or else they wouldn't call this place home, except for me that is.” He smiled towards the female yak fondly, despite cringing at her piano playing. He got a bowl out and started pouring some cream in it before shoving it to me. “On the house, don’t worry about paying. Anyway, I don’t know why Jacky’s really here, not exactly the safest town for a girl like her. She gets by well enough on her own though, she’s sometimes known as Black Jack.”

“Thanks for the cream.” Sniffing it to be sure it was safe, I picked up the bowl and started to partake in it. The cream was quite tasty and any Abyssinian was keen on eating dairy, except for the exceedingly rare and quite sad lactose intolerant Abyssinian.

“Don’t mention it, because I’m sure my wife will as she likes it when I do nice things for friendly folk.” Eventually the noise, that could barely be called music, stopped and I heard the sound of the yak thundering over to the counter. “If you need some clothes fresh, and not stolen off someone’s back, there’s a shop out the door to the left and down the next street. It’s the only thrift store in town. I'm sure you know why, pirate town and all.”

“Is Eir’s husband being nice and making friends again?” The yak heavy with thick brown fur walked around behind the counter and then pulled the poor hippogriff into a crushing hug that made the poor guys bones pop. The hippogriff really seemed to like it despite the slightly pained look on his face. “Eir is loving Gallant Bluster as life companion.”

“That sounds…” I started to mutter and stopped. If it was the Eir that was known for her medical talents… and her battle prowess as a Valkyrie. For the love of… I just ran into the Norse version of Sekhet. On an island of pirates of all things! “Excuse me, could you remove the stitches from my left shoulder? They’re chafing.”

“How did you know Eir is being good at medicine? Oh right, you are friend of husband, how silly of me to be forgetful! You are being in need of Eir’s care yes?” After finishing my cream, Eir led me to the back room to have my stitches removed. It also led to one very embarrassing medical checkup via Eir the out of place medical Valkyrie.

I came back to the tavern once I was finished getting cleaned up and healed. I was looking much better than when I had left and I was now a fan of the Valkyrie Eir. Gallant addressed me once more.

“As for your last question before my wife dragged you off to see to your health. Yes, I do know of a ship you can take, you’ll be doing me and a few others a big favor.” The hippogriff blushed as his large wife cuddled up to him. “There’s a small pirate airship in particular nearby, it’s the one that’s been firing cannonballs randomly into town and we’d like it to be taken from its three owners.”

Eir nodded in agreement, as did a few of the other patrons when I looked around the tavern.

“It’s been bad for business, the real pirates certainly don’t want to deal with the riffraff until necessary.” Gallant ran a claw through his feathers. “The ship you’re looking for is The Double Dare, it shouldn’t be hard for you to steal.”

“What am I expecting here?” This didn’t sound too problematic.

“Three diamond dogs.” He sighed as another cannon shot was heard. “Without the ship they really won’t be so much trouble.”

I nodded and turned to leave only for a familiar, if younger, green feathered parrot to walk in. The young Celaeno still had both her legs.

Author's Notes:

Even chickadees have a mythological background.

Chapter Four, DLC: Cannot look dumber.

-Celestia-

“What do you mean she isn’t here?!” This was bad, the sun priest is in danger and I couldn’t do anything to help them. Why were they so hard to keep track of? They were already hard enough to protect as is it when their existence is discovered by the wrong hooves.

Said wrong hooves had to of have at least figured it out by now.

Jade was probably the only sun priest in this generation, at least she was the only one that I knew of. I just wished she could live a fulfilling life even if she never did anything else as a sun priest. I was even actually going to make an effort to periodically check in on her to make sure she was doing okay and was well protected.

“She took an arrow to the chest from a pukwudgie for me and fell into the river in Ponyville during a recent raid. We don’t exactly know where she is.” There was no other option than to believe Fizzle as Pukwudgies had attacked Ponyville recently and she looked quite upset by the event.

I turned to the campfire. It was still going, so at least I know that Jade was still alive at least. I tried to use a locator spell, but the location she was at was completely unplottable. I felt a mild bit of panic at that.

There were a lot of places Jade could be, some of which were not very pleasant. I hoped she could take care of herself, she was so young and fragile.

Zebras? Oh, they had visitors! Seeing the zebra colt made me realize something… I forgot to post a teacher for the school that I had built here. I slowly pulled my right hoof from its shoe and slapped it to my face.

-Jade-

I had simply ignored the young parrot pirate Celaeno’s presence.

I said goodbye to Gallant and Eir, then left to seek out the clothing store I was told about. As long as I didn’t do anything to attract Celaeno’s attention, then nothing horrible would happen. It’s like tiptoeing around a vat of nitroglycerine, you don’t want to make any sudden movements or else everything explodes violently.

Jacky followed me to the clothing store and I ignored her insistence that she could help me or the fact that the turtle on my right shoulder was currently eating a lettuce leaf held between its two flippers calmly. I didn’t even care where it got the lettuce from, it could obviously take care of itself.

The unicorn at the clothing store was named Stitching Crossbones or Stitch as she preferred to be called. Stitch was an exclusively pirate themed pony clothier. She only made pirate styled clothes, at least she was amiable about my chosen purchases. Though I could hardly get her to make anything normal for me.

The clothing I was now wearing now was at least comfortable. I was wearing a green long coat, white shirt and brown pants. The only thing that doesn’t follow Stitch’s rule of only making pirate themed clothing was the underwear.

I was so thankful that she could do normal underwear that I bought two extra hats, they were souvenirs for mom and Fizzy. Apparently Stitch didn’t mind cross theming a pirate hat with a witch’s hat nor did she mind putting a firework design above a soda bottle on the hat I was getting for Fizzy. She also modified the pirate hat I had stolen from Gash to have a symbol of a cute smiling cat face on it in my fur color.

I will admit that Stitch did really good work and the smiling cat face on my hat was adorable, she was quite surprised when I paid her in full. It’s not like it was my money to begin with, I was paying for this stuff with the booty stolen from good old Captain Gash.

It was getting late in the evening as I left the store, I decided I needed a place to rest. I’d attack the three diamond dogs at dawn, I didn’t care to figure out why they were firing cannonballs into the town randomly.

“Okay Jacky, you’ve been following me for quite a while now.” Just for the sake of posterity I had to ask. “Will you eventually stop following me around?”

“No captain, I’m as loyal as they come!” Ms. Chickadee at least sounded sincere about that.

“Know a good place where I can sleep for the night at least?” Well if she was going to keep bothering me, then I may as well ask her for some help.

“Sure thing captain!” Before I knew it, Jacky was dragging me along to the nearest inn in town.

Was she doing all this just because I refused to do a comedic pratfall?

- The next day and a sun salutation later. –

I spy with my eyes, a ship with three diamond dogs in the early morning sun. I was sneaking up on the ship to stop them from hitting me with that cannon.

Unlike Sekhet, I was not immortal nor did I think myself invincible. You probably wouldn’t know it by the way I threw myself off of high places, Captain Gash’s ship and Canterlot being two notable occasions.

They were somewhat smart dogs, they had parked the airship on the nearby beach at the edge of the water.

There would have been nothing but open ground between me and the ship had I decided to walk along the beach. Instead I got some help from my little green sea turtle friend and approached the ship from the sea on the back of another large turtle.

I had made sure to check my stuff before I set out on this venture, surprisingly Jacky hadn’t tried to rob me blind or do anything untoward to me at all. In fact I didn’t know where she was or what she was doing when I left the inn this morning.

I had one chaos candle, seventeen griffon feathers, three phoenix feathers, two vials of fish oil, my fish scale necklace, a quarter of a pepper shaker, a full salt shaker, three bits of leftover wax from modifying the candles and eight pukwudgie arrows. I wanted to save the chaos candle to show to mom and it would have been a bit too destructive to use. I wasn’t about to use the fish oil either, I actually wanted to take the ship intact.

The arrows were the least useful thing I had on me at the moment. I could fire one big beam or an inaccurate spray of multiple smaller beams. The damage the big beams dealt would be negligible if it hit clothing, or anything else for that matter, before touching any part of the target itself. The little beams from the cast sustain would do more damage by comparison because each beam would hit something different, but I’d have to get close enough to hit anything with them given how bad the spread was and my ammo supply was quite limited.

The bits of wax was the most useful stuff, as I had enough for the diamond dogs. I didn’t know what to do with them once I knocked them out, did I just leave them on the beach? Well I wasn’t about to harm them too much and I was conscious of the current tide.

The turtle pulled up next to the ship, my claws came out and I started carefully scaling the side quietly. I didn’t want to be heard by the dogs before I could get a sneak attack off.

“Thanks for the lift buddy.” I whispered back to the turtle, it gave me a friendly nod before swimming off. I gripped the edge of the ship and looked around on deck, it appears nobody was up yet. Let sleeping sea dogs lie.

I reached up and grabbed the rail to pull myself onboard and looked to the turtle on my shoulder munching on a bit of carrot. Someone had apparently taken advantage of the free salad bar this morning. I swear that was the least pirate thing about the island, aside from the friendly people I’ve met.

Who has ever really heard of pirates that eat salads anyway? Well aside from pony pirates when it’s an absolutely necessary dietary need.

This island was just a big pirate themed theme park wasn’t it? The cannonball yesterday had certainly been real and dangerous, not to mention the several fights going on in town. I had expected less normalcy than this, but I guess even pirates needed their down time.

I was standing on deck and looking about, this ship was of a pretty decent size. Good enough for a small crew of at least fifteen people. Probably about two to four times the size of an average catboat.

Catboats are used a lot in Abyssinia for obvious reasons if the pun wasn’t bad enough. Even I knew how to pilot a catboat, but I didn’t know how to fully pilot an airship.

I’m sure I could figure it out, it couldn’t be that hard.

“What is mangy cat doing on deck?” In answer to your question random diamond dog standing behind me, I was scoping out the real estate with a small hold, likely four rooms, a captain’s cabin and the balloon that wasn’t present despite there being rigging for it.

“Looking for a place to ambush some really dumb flea bitten mutts and steal this ship.” Answering it in a conversational tone was probably the best way to go about things. “In the middle of a sentence if I have to.”

“Well mangy cat won’t be able to…” I swung around and launched a devastating right hook across his jaw, completed the spin and went back to scoping things out like that didn’t just happen.

“That’s what you get for calling me mangy two times. I washed myself quite thoroughly this morning you jerk!” I’m surprised he was actually standing close enough for me to do that. I saved one of my wax casts doing that, because all I heard from him now was his groaning form on the deck at the moment. “At least I take my hygiene seriously.”

Looking about after that outburst, I grabbed the diamond dog by his yellow vest and dragged him over to the beach side of the ship and heaved him overboard. I dusted my hands off turned around and jumped back from the clumsy, but quite fast, swing for my head by a smaller diamond dog.

I quickly reached into my pants pocket and immediately threw a wax cast directly into his… er… her? Well I cast in its face and then I kicked them hard knocking them on their back. If diamond dogs struggled to win a fight with civilian ponies despite having numbers on their side, then the three salty dogs shouldn’t be hard for me to take down.

I think I just wasted my cast on the… was it a female diamond dog? It was hard to tell, they looked so masculine despite the minor feminine features.

“Excuse me for asking this, but are you a female dog?” The brown furred diamond dog with floppy ears just gave me a highly confused look. I sighed, it was sad that this was a legitimate question that I had to ask. “Are you a bitch?”

“Yes, I am. Why is body hard to move?” Oh good, at least I had confirmation, because her voice was hard to read as well. “Like being in sand, but not!”

“That’ll wear off eventually… are you with child by any chance?” She shook her head no as she slowly moved towards me with all her muscles stiffened up.

“Oh good, then I can do this with a clear conscience!” I jumped to her right dodging the clumsy grab and tackled her face with my shoulder and knocked her off the side of the ship.

I looked over the side to make sure she was okay. It appears that she had landed on her head, so she was definitely fine.

I heard a growling noise coming at me from behind and I barely avoided the third diamond dog clawing my face off by rolling backwards, he was slightly bigger than the other two. His clubbed tail looked like a baseball bat just to name something of compensation going on here.

At least I know why the other two diamond dogs looked scrawny. This was their alpha and he had a bit more meat on him, he looked like a bulldog species.

Growling angrily at me, he charged and I could feel my ears wilting. My cat instincts were kicking in and telling me to run, so I did so on all fours with a barking diamond dog on my tail also running on his four limbs.

The next estimated five minutes were spent by me running in aimless circles on the deck with me ducking and jumping around him trying to get his teeth in me.

I eventually came to my senses and leapt up onto the beach side rail, tapped my knife for its magical sustain and did a well-timed backflip. I kicked off the back of the diamond dogs head doing another flip while sending him off the side of the ship.

“Now all I have to… do... if there were only three diamond dogs, then why is the balloon already inflating?” The balloon was starting to lift the ship from the beach.

“Don’t worry captain, I got the ship ready to go while you were dealing with them!” Please, for the love of all that was the holy sun, tell me that wasn't Jacky. I moved towards the center of the ship and saw her behind the wheel.

“Let me guess, you got here before me and were waiting on me?” The bird nodded at me cheerfully with a bright smile on her beak as she took the helm. “Okay, I’m beginning to think there’s something horribly wrong with you being around me.”

“What makes you say that captain?” I held my hands out to both my sides showing Jacky exhibit A and exhibit B.

On one side of me was Captain Gash with four pirate griffons and on the other was Celaeno with four pirate parrots. They were all pointing swords towards me. Why was I suddenly the center of two different pirate groups?

“Call it a hunch, but I think you might be a living jinx Black Jack.” My words made Jacky wince a bit and she looked away ruffling her braided feathers.

“Did you seriously think I’d let you get away with dropping my ship into the sea lass? We pulled into port last night and we’ve been looking for you!” Well that explains Captain Gash being here, I turned to Celaeno and raised my brow delicately.

“I’m here for the ship of course, you haven’t done wrong by me yet.” Celaeno of course chooses now of all times to become an active pirate. “What’s your name anyway?”

“I’m Jaded La Perm, rogue sun priest.” I quickly turned to point at Captain Gash. “Parley!”

“Damn it all!” Captain Gash screeched angrily, I knew that much of the pirate code jerk ass and your men can’t touch me until we’ve done business.

“Some priestess.” Muttered Celaeno sarcastically in my direction while crossing her arms loosely. "Are you sure you're not some talented pirate? You certainly have the look of one."

Chapter Five, Building Relationships: Romance of the three rogues.

-Jacky B. Chickadee-

“Can you steer us closer to the port without us all dying?” Captain Jade might not have understood that this was my chance to start life for real and do something with myself, but I forgave her for that.

“Aye aye, Captain La Perm!” I started to steer the ship for the port. As long as I didn’t go too far out, then things wouldn’t hopefully get so bad.

“For the record, despite her calling me that, we only met yesterday and I think she’s unintentionally trying to kill me.” That hurt a bit, but she wasn’t wrong and her anger towards me was completely understandable. I wasn’t trying to kill her, I was hoping she’d actually survive me.

My captain had been lucky so far, the banana peel thing had made me sit up and take attention. Sure all the banana peel slips I’ve seen had been funny, but the laughter was bitter as I'm reminded of my… situation.

The thing she said about always landing on her feet had quite a bit of meaning. It mean that no matter how bad things got for her, she’d always try to come out standing. That really meant a lot to me.

That cannonball missing by several feet and only getting her covered slightly in dirt was what really opened my eyes to the possibility that I had finally found my captain.

It was bad enough that my presence probably somehow let the diamond dogs sneak up on Captain La Perm, but she dealt with them well enough. Now she had five pirates on both sides of her down on the deck and things didn’t look too good until she called for a parley. Captain La Perm would probably be better off if I didn’t try to help her right now.

-Jade-

Once we were parked over the open water above the port, I decided to get things moving along.

“Okay, to start things off I absolutely need this ship. The pirate parrots want this ship, but don’t necessarily need it.” I pointed to Celaeno and then turned to Captain Gash. “You Captain Gash want both this ship… and my head.”

“Aye, you’ve run my patience down and I’ve none left for you.” He waved his sword in my direction with a scowl. “Parley is just delaying the inevitable. We can all just finish you off quickly enough and then get to dealing with each other.”

“I don’t feel like killing someone today, also there’s the code to think of.” The young teenage Celaeno wasn’t on my side, but at least she wasn’t bloodthirsty like Captain Gash currently was. “She has made no aggressive moves against any of us yet since calling parley, she also has yet to barter with either of us. Just to be sure we’re all on the up and up, parley to the both of you.”

“Okay then.” While in parley I was safe for the moment, Captain Gash could not order his men to attack me and he couldn’t attack me himself until we absolutely talked about a possible deal. In turn I couldn’t do anything aggressive either and since Celaeno agreed to parley with us both, that means she’s also bound by the code. “Hey Jacky, can you find me a sword and toss it to me? I'll need it when we get to fighting.”

Chickadee looked a bit worried about the idea of even throwing a sheathed sword at me.

“Are you sure about that captain, couldn’t I just… give it to you?” Well you could do that Jacky, but I’d really like to see what will happen if you threw it at me. “Do I really have to throw it?”

“Yes.” I just really wanted to confirm something here. Jacky opened her mouth to say something and I made her stop with a glare. “I’m quite sure.”

“Fine, I’ll do it. Just know that I’m warning you now that something will go wrong.” With that Jacky set out to look for a sword in the ship and I sat down to wait. The parrot pirates and Gash’s griffons followed my lead in taking a seat.

“While she’s busy with that, I’m going to suggest a ‘mêlée a trois’ for ownership of The Double Dare.” I was getting a stink eye from Captain Gash at the suggestion, but Celaeno seemed interested in a fight. “It would be fitting.”

“Hmm… no magic is allowed in the fight in any form.” It was Captain Gash’s right to set a term if we’re going to fight. That’s a big if, depending on what Celaeno said.

“Agreed… what say you?” After I accepted Gash’s terms, we turned to Celaeno. His conditions had me a bit worried, at least he didn’t anything say anything too hard to follow. “I’m sorry, I don't know your name. This guy is Captain Gash and the pink hat is my fault, just to give you an idea of why he’s so keen on drawing and quartering me.”

“Call me Celaeno, I actually think that hat looks charming on the old codger. I agree to his terms.” She closed her eyes to think and her four friends looked in her direction. After a minute she opened her eyes, I had no idea what she was thinking when it came to Gash’s terms or my agreement with them. “No swapping in substitutes or getting outside help during the fight, we three fight until we can’t fight any more or give up.”

“Agreed.” I and Gash agreed to the terms at the same time.

They both looked to me, it was my turn to set the terms if I could actually think of anything. The one suggesting the mêlée was the last to set a term. If I couldn’t think of anything, then we’d go with what we had.

“We all fight on even footing. No backup weapons, just the swords and our bodies.” The two pirates looked thoughtful at my words.

Each one of our terms was to give ourselves an advantage.

Gash wanted the advantage over me and didn’t want me using magic. This fight was going hurt, a lot. I wasn’t exactly trained to fight with a sword.

Celaeno’s advantage was an escape clause and not having to deal with more than two opponents, young pirates would often use it if they didn’t think they had enough experience to survive the fight.

My advantage was worded carefully, even footing meant that captain Gash couldn’t fly and had to fight us on the ground with just a sword or whatever his body could do naturally.

“Agreed.” Celaeno didn’t see any problem with my terms and it was up to Captain Gash, we haven’t exactly said anything about not killing one another.

“Agreed.” It took Captain Gash long enough, he was definitely thinking hard about whether or not he could take either of us without flying. “It seems we are waiting on your sword you ugly guttersnipe.”

“Of course we are bleeding beard.” If he was going to start insulting, then I was going to do some myself. “Don’t open any more arteries in yourself, you might accidentally fill the world with your taint. Goodness knows, your blood is not fit for the sea or the sky.”

“You are absolutely the worst priestess I’ve ever heard.” Celaeno didn’t insult me all too hard, she then turned to Captain Gash. “You are a scum sucking pufferfish and the only thing that inflates for you anymore is your ego.”

“It’s not the size that matters, but what you do with it you wailing harpy of a fat manatee.” Last insult fired, we all waited for Jacky.

Jacky came back three minutes later with a sheathed sword and was about to walk down the steps.

“I told you to throw it to me.” She was quite uneasy and she looked at the steps between me and her, she tossed the sword.

I quickly got up to my feet and took a single step back. The sword somehow fell out of the sheath, spun end over end and slammed down between my legs blade side up almost touching my new pants. The sheath smacked me in the head making me rub the spot it hit, but nothing much worse happened.

“That could have killed you.” Celaeno said lazily as she eyed Jacky with some suspicion. “If you hadn’t moved… it could have pierced your head.”

“It thankfully didn’t though.” That was all I had to say on the subject as I put the cutlass in the sheath and held it upside down, it didn’t fall out. Ms. Chickadee was really unlucky. “I suggest she be the one to start us off on our mêlée a trois.”

“Now you just be tempting fate horribly, I accept.” Anything to get an advantage, eh Captain Gash?

-

We three stood at the ready in the middle of the deck, equidistant from one another. To my left was Captain Gash and on my right was Celaeno. I held my cutlass forward with my left hand, both Caelano and Gash were holding theirs in their right.

We had nothing on us except our clothes and our weapons.

Weapons pointed towards the center of the three person circle, we waited for the battle to start.

Green feathers, white plumage, the rose eyed Celaeno look ready with her sword. Pink hat of rage and a beard of red feathers, Captain Gash wanted to rip his opponent’s apart. I was the odd one out as I held my sword, of which I had no training or any skill with.

“Ready arms… begin!” Jacky quickly backed out of the way sending me a worried look and we immediately started.

Captain Gash went for me, but I in turn went for Celaeno surprising both of them. Celaeno blocked my clumsy leftwards slash and I danced out of the way of Gash’s stab taking a light graze to my left arm.

We all stopped and looked between one another, then we started tapping our feet to an unseen rhythm.

Celaeno struck out at me, I ducked under her swing and tried to swing for Gash who deflected my blow and riposted expertly and tried to get Celaeno in the shoulder. I had already backed out of range and Celaeno deflected Gash, now we were looking between each other more carefully.

I was the least skilled and experienced, but a wild card was always dangerous. Celaeno was young and strong, Gash was old and experienced. We were balanced, as neither of them wanted to lose sight of me or each other.

All three of use clashed our swords together at the same time, while they were locked I swung my right hand claws at Gash’s face catching him sharply above his left eye. Give that wound a minute to bleed over the left side of his face and he’d be blinded in one eye. Celaeno quickly sucker punched me turning my right eye black with a bruise and she took a shallow cut to the right leg from Gash.

We backed away and were now stomping to an intense rhythm and we started to slowly move in a clockwise circle with the parrots and griffons egging us on.

One of us had to go down if any of us were to gain an advantage, my best bet was to play Celaeno and Gash off one another.

We moved, I stabbed my sword downwards into the deck. Gash’s sword hit it stopping it from getting any closer to hitting me. I ducked under Celaeno’s blow coming in from my right and I kicked Gash in his belly winding him, I grabbed my sword and spun around with it to the left. It clipped Celaeno’s left shoulder and hitting Gash’s sword as it came up to deflect me. I stumbled back from the deflection.

“Are you sure you’re a priestess? You’ve got good instincts.” Celaeno said conversationally as she came at me with a flourish, I blocked her first swing and the second slid across the left side of my face drawing blood. I launched my fist at her and she stepped backwards with a smile. The smile was soon gone as she had almost gotten run through by Captain Gash.

I charged and managed to smack the attacking Gash’s wrist with the back of my sword with an upwards flick, it almost made him almost drop his sword.

He growled as he strengthened the grip on his sword and changed tactics to unleash a rapid flourish at me. I barely managed to deflect the worst of it as I took several painful wounds across my body. Celaeno thankfully distracted him.

Celaeno held her own against Captain Gash and they traded blows sending some sparks flying. I interrupted them by thrusting at Gash’s side and managed to get a good portion of his right wing making him grunt in pain and staggering him.

“She’s not traditionally trained, but her instincts for finding openings is admittedly quite good.” Gash actually complimented me, I’m touched. we started to slowly circle again watching one another’s movements closely. “Wish she’d just up and die though.”

Less touched.

We were practically dancing with how fast we were moving into and out of each other’s range trying to find a good opportunity to press the attack. We deflected blows, blocked them and attacked one another in a shifting rhythm.

With a twitch of my right ear I swung for Celaeno’s head as Gash came at me. Celaeno blocked and I held that block shifted it into the path of the blow meant for me from Gash and then slid my blade upwards catching Gash shallowly in the throat beneath his beard.

Gash started coughing as he backed away from me clutching his throat and I quickly dropped my sword. This was much to Celaeno’s surprise when her first attack wasn’t blocked and her following attack missed me because I was busy knocking her legs out from under her.

Once she fell, I got into a crouching position where I somersaulted forward and slammed my right heel into her chest winding her. Celaeno grabbed my leg and slammed me belly first to the deck, she took my sword and deflected Gash from stabbing me through the back while I was down.

I soon stood up shakily from that near death experience, I would have to thank Celaeno for that later. Both Celaeno and Gash were busy fencing with one another, Gash was looking quite unbalanced and Celaeno was getting roughed up by him.

I looked to Celaeno’s sword, I had an idea. I took aim and kicked the sword forward while charging Celaeno.

The sword I kicked ended up between Gash’s hind legs, his left foot shifted backwards and into the hilt, the next shift of his legs sent the blade digging into his right heel. Howling in pain, he toppled and smashed the back of his head against the deck. He was out of the fight.

Celaeno tried to react to the change in the battle, but I had already gripped her wrist with my right hand. I might not be good at sword fighting, but I definitely knew brawling.

I sent my left elbow into Celaeno's face dazing her, I brought my right knee straight up into her elbow while lowering her arm with my grip. This resulted in her to dropping her sword, and then I maneuvered myself to slam my head into hers.

I was hurting badly, but I was standing.

Author's Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KGwWyZtKkE

Combinations are likely have no sustain or self sustain effects because of the mixture of things involved in them.

Magical Alchemy list.

1. Fish Bones (simple).

Cast: Water breathing (Temporary passive water terrain survival buff). Breathing water as if you had gills, permanence can be achieved with repeated casts.

Sustain: Swimming efficiency and deep water survivability increases.

Self-Sustaining: Luminescence. Once used as a sustain effect, bones glow softly on their own.

2. Fish Scales (simple).

Cast: Fish Scale Skin (Temporary defense buff). Possible permanence with multiple casts, more effective underwater.

Sustain: Water Projection (Continuous offensive ability). Able to spit or project volatile volumes of water, drains fluids from body with excessive use. You can actively control the volumes of water you project and how focused that projection is.

Self-Sustaining: None.

3. Raven Feather.

Cast: Survive a fall, fall on something safely or possibly target launches and falls on something by user’s choice or at random (One time air terrain survival buff, possible offensive spell). Target tends to end up freezing twenty feet above something living.

Sustain: Projecting thoughts. Not able to receive thoughts, but you can project them to others.

Self-sustaining: none.

4. Sunlight.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Smoke signaling. Causes smoke to appear as if something was burning.

Self-sustaining: Warms the planet.

5. Knife.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Rogue Enhancements (Continuous passive buff). Heightened dexterity, agility and environmental awareness. Strengthens all mobility based buffs.

Sustain side effect: Inability to sleep or relax.

Self-sustaining: Trains muscles and exercises body for similar maneuvers used while wielding the sustain effect.

6. Knife Sheath

Cast: Traps one target temporarily (One use support spell). Time limit for stopping a target is the same every time for sheaths of similar design. Sheaths for different or larger weapons ‘probably’ improves time limit.

Sustain: Increased protection against knives, arrows and other small bladed weapons (Continuous passive buff). Warning: Does not protect against anything larger, or anything else for that matter.

Self-sustaining: None.

7. Alicorn Feather (Celestia).

Cast: Wings of sunlight (Limited air terrain mobility buff). Target is given wings of pure sunlight. Darkness, shade or shadows can weaken the flying power the wings generate, at night they'd be far less effective. The power of the wings can be combined with a knife's or similar sustain effects for improved flying ability. The wings might be extinguished by water and could be useless while it’s raining. Does not protect the user from gravitational or high speed stress and lack of oxygen at high altitudes like a pegasus would be by their magic.

Sustain: Redirect sunlight (Defensive support buff). Is only useful during the day and allows for blinding opponents or aggressors with light.

Self-sustaining: Minor protection from darkness (Automatic defensive buff while feather is on person). Needs to be charged with sunlight and to have been used as a magical alchemy sustain at least once to work.

8. Phoenix Feather.

Cast: Cleansing Flames (Support healing spell). Finds and stops negative foreign bodily ailment or ailments that are magical or mundane, does not heal damage. Can possibly stop positive ailments.

Sustain: Protection from the cold (Continuous defensive buff). Immunity to cold, increased defensive ability against ice and relative elemental based magic.

Self-Sustaining: None.

9. Jade’s Cloak.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: ???. (Effect seems to do nothing, need more information.)

Self-Sustain: Makes sneaking easier (Moderate stealth buff).

10. Cupcake (Banned).

11. Frog mucus (Banned).

12. Griffon Feather.

Cast: Feather Falling (Limited air terrain support buff). Lowers gravity’s effect on an individual for a minute.

Sustain: Double Jump (Continuous Mobility buff). Can jump off the air one extra time after leaving a solid surface and only one time.

Self-sustain: None.

13. Fish Oil.

Cast: Ignition (Multipurpose offensive and support spell). Ignites itself and anything around it except the user.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

14. Candle Wax.

Cast: Stiffness. Slow down a target, can have a wide area of effect for reduced effectiveness.

Sustain: Heat resistance (Limited continuous defensive buff). Does not stop heat damage entirely and candle takes heat damage in place of the user.

Self-Sustain: None.

15. Pepper.

Cast: Sneezing cloud (Limited continuous Defensive spell). Wide range spell that doesn’t affect the user, causes continuous sneezing on contact and doesn’t necessarily need to be breathed in to take effect.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

16. Tricorne.

Cast: Charisma boost (Limited status buff). Gives one the ability to walk around with confidence.

Side-effect: May instill need for showboating in user.

Sustain: ???.

Self-Sustain: ???.

Combinations.

Combination 1: Candle Wax + Oil (any) + Pepper = Chaos Candle. Candle hollowed out and filled with the other two ingredients mixed together equals devastating results.

Cast: Sneezing flash bomb (Offensive one use spell). Blinding, sinus wrecking and volatile magical cast.

Sustain Cast: Weak jet propulsion device (Limited air terrain support buff), Flamethrower (Limited offensive spell). Doing this will slowly destroy the candle and chemicals used in it. Exhaust fumes has a lesser effect of casting with pepper.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

Combination 2: Feather + stick + arrowhead (material any) = Arrow. Arrow + poison = special status ailment added to casting effect based on poison used. Pukwudgie Poison (Paralysis for a few hours).

Cast: Arcing Arrow Beam (Offensive spell). Fires a beam that is effected by gravity as if it were an arrow, it can only damage one target and that’s the first thing it touches. If it grazes a wall and then hits you, it will do nothing to you.

Sustain Cast: Spray of multiple weaker beam shots.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

Chapter Five, Building Relationships: Romance of the airship.

-Jade-

I should never challenge any pirate to a one on one duel, if a three way was that hard to survive. I had a stab wound in my right side, the left side of my bleeding face still hurts where Celaeno slapped me with her sword and there were nicks and cuts along my arms.

I couldn’t rest or relax yet. There was a big problem that I hadn’t considered when we were setting terms, I was now acting captain of The Double Dare.

Just because I had ownership of my own airship through being the last one standing, it didn’t actually mean I could hold onto it. Say if I were suddenly attacked by pirates and it was taken from me right now, then that would have been the shortest ownership period ever.

“Congratulations on your victory, now hand over the ship and yourself to some real pirates!” One of the four griffons from captain Gash’s ship said mockingly as he turned his sword on me. “You’ll not survive a tussle with us.”

I inhaled while tapping in my fish scale necklace. This was going to hurt a whole lot, but I was going to keep this ship after a fight like that. If it required putting my blood, sweat and tears into it... then I would do that literally. I scooped up my sword that I forced Celaeno to drop and held it unsteadily.

“Jacky I don’t care what problems you have with Gallant or Eir, just get me and Celaeno to the tavern for medical help after I’m done with these guys. That’s an order first mate!” I looked back at Celaeno’s friends, they get so messed up in the future. Yet they were still capable of smiling because they had Celaeno to follow. “I hope you parrots are honorable pirates, sky or sea! Celaeno did right by me and I owe her one, help throw Captain Gash overboard after I’m done with his penguins.”

“Penguins… well I guess we are being a bit cold!” I turned back and blocked the sword coming for me while my head was turned away, I struggled against the blade held by the griffon. I think it was Gaylord, I couldn’t tell as I was tired from the fight and my right eye was swollen shut.

“Do you know why your captain had no magic as his term? He feared what my magic could do and this… is why!” My open wounds exploded into four blasts of blood, I knocked the surprised griffons off the side of the ship and into the bay.

Blood was quite thick and hits harder than water when projected.

Okay, that… had seriously hurt a lot... bad idea. The pain was indescribable, I would never do that again unless it was to save someone’s life. It was worse than the… worse than the ears.... I was so dizzy, probably from the massive blood loss. I stumbled about and then I saw the deck coming up to meet me. Hello deck, meet darkness my old friend. Let’s have a tea party!

Jacky was shouting something, was it my name?

-Jacky B. Chickadee-

I… what in the locker… did my captain just. All that blood just came flying out of her body like it was typhoon season on Turtle Toga and then she just collapsed.

“Captain La Perm!” I didn’t care if the other pirates turned on me, I ran down to cradle her body. My captain was a tough one, she just had to live! My curse couldn’t take her from me like this… it just couldn’t. I didn’t want to be stuck here in Turtle Toga, I wanted to explore the world! Orders, she gave me orders… and she even called me her first mate. She probably wouldn’t have done that if she were in her right mind, but Gallant and Eir? I… it was captains orders, I’d just have to swallow my pride and turn to them. “Who knows how to land an airship?”

I know how to get an airship into the air, but I never learned how to land it. One of the parrots came forward raising a hand.

“Please land it and help me carry my captain to the tavern…” I didn’t care about the ship or getting off the island, my captain needed me!

-Eir-

My piano playing was not the best, but I am being happy here on dangerous island with husband! Pirates were like yak, strong and violent! They all be needing good healing and Eir is always happy to help friends of husband.

Wait… is that… it is! It’s the lonely cursed Chickadee and is that… what has happened to friend of husband?! She looks one step from Yakhalla, if she is dying she’ll need an escort. She has certainly earned her rest from a recent battle at least. No… she’ll live. She’s quite close though, she has suffered a major loss of internal vitality.

I am seeing Jade as being worthy enough for a wonderful afterlife of battle, food and drink. What more can she be needing if she doesn’t come back from the brink with my help? Death is not always a sad thing, it is a grand honor for the brave to die from the wounds of battle!

“Help her...” You didn't need to ask Black Jack. I am a yak, I would've helped without prompting.

“Of course I will help her, she is friend of husband and Eir!” I bustled over to Black Jack and took the wounded one from her. Jade would live, I’m a great healer! I saw another injured carried in by parrots. Celaeno is being friendly and strong too, I will gladly help her as well.

-Jade-

“Ugh… my body.” I blearily opened my left eye and looked about, my other was covered in bandages. “Am I dead Valkyrie?”

“No, you are not currently visiting Yakhalla. Not any time soon if you are taking medicine!” Okay Eir was taking care of me, that’s good. She may sound airheaded, but she was definitely a goddess of healing in her own particular weight class. “It will be helping inner vitality come back to you swiftly, I am happily choosing life for you! Friend Black Jack is being quite the worrier.”

I felt Eir force something down my throat and it tasted awful. Like a horrible cross between sweaty gym socks, a rotten egg, a half rotten fish barfed up by a regular bear and guano that’s been out in the sun for several days and was festering with maggots. Eir held my nose and mouth shut while rubbing my throat until I swallowed.

“Don’t take this the wrong way Eir, but I think I’d prefer the Elysium Fields.” She squeezed my cheek quite hard and cooed over me.

“I am not being upset. If it is where you wish to go in death, then you might end up there. Just know that you are always being welcome in Yakhalla, I have deemed you worthy of it personally!” I almost find the yak form of Valkyrie to be hard to take seriously, but knowing that she was ‘The Eir’ caused me shivers.

I haven’t seen her fight yet, but Eir’s medical talents were proving quite effective. I felt livelier in a few minutes after ingesting whatever it was she just forced down my throat, I didn’t even feel like asking what it was and I’m quite sure I didn’t want to know.

“So… I know I didn’t bring this up in front of Gallant previously, but does he know you’re a goddess?” I see Eir turn away from me to inspect an out cold Celaeno with an ice pack on her forehead.

“Husband is not needing to know. As long as I am being good wife to him, it is not mattering anyway.” The yak finished checking over Celaeno before coming back over to me with a smile.

“How long have I been out for?” If she wasn’t going to discuss it, then I wasn’t going to press the issue. She seemed quite cheerful despite me bringing it up. I stood up shakily, Eir quickly braced me and comfortingly rubbed my back.

“You are being down for three hours, that you are already up is saying something of my skills in tending to mortals." She held her head up proudly with a brighter smile. "Is also personal record!”

“Been in any good fights lately?” I asked conversationally as I started stumble and move forward, I needed to get out of Turtle Toga today. I didn’t want the rest of Gash’s crew to come at me too.

“I am enjoying many various tavern brawls, smashing chairs over the heads of idiots is quite fun.” Ah, she’s the fun type of Valkyrie who took violence in a less than serious manner. “Protecting cute husband is keeping Eir’s battle skills quite sharp!”

“Am I good to go?” I might be a bit wobbly, but I was standing on my own strength as Eir had stopped bracing me thirty seconds ago. She shoved my pack into my chest and grinned. “That answers that… do you know a goddess named Sekhet?”

“The sphinx? Eir is knowing of her, she is said to be fierce and strong! I am never meeting her though.” She pushed me through the door into the tavern and Jacky was instantly moving towards me for big hug. Jacky was grabbed out of the air by a standing Eir, the yak had caught Jacky by the scruff of her neck before she could tackle me. “She is still healing Black Jack, be more responsible of her health. Also Celaeno will be completely fine.”

“One last question Eir. If a unicorn has a broken a horn, could you possibly fix it?” There was an odd silence as Eir gave me a searching look. I gave her a clear serious expression.

“That is not a very easy thing to fix, is like growing a new limb… only much harder. I will try to find information and will give it to you if you ever come back to Turtle Toga.” After Eir’s words, the pirate parrots started talking to each other as I sat down and gave Gallant a friendly wave.

I paused and thought of something… I needed to write a note and leave it with Celaeno. I was going to warn her about the misfortune malachite, hopefully she takes my warning seriously. The misfortune malachite was an Abyssinian treasure that the storm king definitely deserved to have, mostly because it’ll end him trying to use it.

- Thirty minutes later on The Double Dare-

“It was nice meeting you guys, but I have to get home. Try a different ship, I’m sure you’ll find one eventually!” Celaeno’s pirate parrots were quite friendly, they even paid for a round of cream for me and they were waving us off as we lifted into the sky. I didn’t want to stick around with Gash still being in the area after he was tossed unceremoniously into the bay. It’ll be blamed on me so that he doesn’t bother Celaeno, because her crew were the ones that actually did that. “Come on Jacky, we’ve got to get this bucket moving today! I really want to get home by this evening to see my mom’s food waiting for me.”

“Aye, aye, Captain, but are you sure you’re lucky enough to get me away from Turtle Toga?” It's okay Jacky. We've a map, a compass and a general idea of where the moving island currently was in relation to Equestria. Plus I think I can understand your curse. “I’ve been stuck here my whole life because no matter what I tried, I couldn’t get off the island! I mean I tried everything, even being a slave and that ship sunk two miles away.”

“Don’t worry about a thing Jacky, I can navigate us to my home. Did we forget anything?” I felt something rub against my ankle. I turned and looked down at the small sea turtle cuddling up to me. “I guess not.”

“Er... Captain, there’s a storm brewing and I think it’s got my number on it.” The roiling dark clouds ahead and powerful winds threatened to push us back to Turtle Toga. “What do we do?”

“What none of the other guys did when you tried to escape the island previously Black Jack, I’m going to test our luck.” I struck a pose and pointed at the churning clouds of fate before me. I probably should remind myself that I was not a captain nor did I know how to captain an airship. Right now I was trying to be captain enough for Jacky. “Fly straight into it!”

“Uh… of course Captain!” We were swallowed by rains and winds aplenty in the next two minutes and Ms. Chickadee was willing to put her faith in my leadership.

I didn’t believe I had any leadership qualities whatsoever, but I could at least beat her curse for her.

- Sekhet-

I felt her presence, it was getting close to dinner time and she was approaching from the air and at a much slower speed this time. In the next few minutes I stood up looking around at the cloudy sky.

“What is it Sekhet?” Lady Kuril asked of me.

“Priest Jade, your daughter, is back now.” Though I couldn’t see where she was coming from, because the clouds were quite thick. I could just fly up there, but it didn’t seem like Priest Jade was in any trouble this time.

“Oh thank goodness... I better get started on dinner. Knowing my daughter, she’ll be complaining about not eating my food for the last day or so.” I could feel the happiness wafting off of Kuril in waves, the food tonight would be excellent.

“Why are you always sitting so far away from the campfire Sekhet?” I turned to tell Fizzle why I was not sitting closer when my left ear perked up and I heard a faint whistling sound. It almost sounded like…

- Fizzle-

The large falling object and resulting loud crashing sound had spooked me into running inside The Witch’s Fare. I turned around at the door and saw that Sekhet had been crushed... by an airship.

What I saw next made me happy, it was Jade. She was… a bit injured, but alright enough for me! What was she wearing and who was that falling alongside her?

-Jade–

“Whoops… that’s definitely going earn me a bad riddle.” Once again Sekhet ended up taking an airship to the head, Airship Mauled would be quite aptly named if that happened a third time. Feather falling down to the ground, I stumbled a bit and saw Fizzle. “Fizzy, you’re okay!”

“Idiot I should be saying that to you! You’ve been gone for almost two days and your mother’s been worried about you. I’ve… been worried about you…” She paused in front of me looking at the ground and pawed at it cutely with a hoof. She eventually looked at me. “What are you wearing and what happened to your eye?”

“Ran into some pirate’s, got some pirate clothing. My eye will be completely fine once the swelling goes down. I got you all souvenirs and I even got Sekhet a worshipper!” I pointed to Jacky who gave me a confused look.

“Is Sekhet even alive, she looks a bit…” Fizzle watched as the paw sticking out from underneath the airship started clawing the air. “I guess she's fine.”

Author's Notes:

Sekhet's mauled by an airship counter: *ding* 2.

Sorry about this chapter, some things were written in poor taste.

Valkyrie's can choose whether a warrior continues living or dies after battle.

(New Magical Alchemy Information!)

2. Fish Scales (simple).

Cast: Fish Scale Skin (Temporary defense buff). Possible permanence with multiple casts, more effective underwater.

Sustain: Water Projection (Continuous offensive ability). Able to spit or project volatile volumes of water, drains fluids from body with excessive use. You can actively control the volumes of water you project and how focused that projection is.

(New!) Sustain 2: Blood Projection (Dangerous continuous offensive ability). Capable of performing a powerful projection, but only from open wounds. As one would imagine blood projection is exceedingly painful, taxing on the body and ultimately dangerous to the user. The intimidation factor might be worth the agony in the right situations, but it will always be a detriment to one's health.

Self-Sustaining: None.

Chapter Five, Building Relationships: Romance of the slice.

-Kuril-

My daughter came back. Sure her eye was bandaged up and she looked like a pirate, but she was perfectly fine.

My daughter’s new stray was just looking at everything as if it were her first time seeing a forest and she seemed awed by the clearing we lived in. She was a cute parrot with a black bandanna skull cap on her head and the braided feathers were really adorable, I was always meeting those that were more adorable than my little tom cat.

The bird my daughter brought home was keeping mostly to herself and she looked to be sitting quietly in a corner with a sea turtle. Speaking of my daughter, where was she? Maybe I should ask Fizzle.

“Fizzle dear, where’s my daughter? Dinner will be in thirty minutes, then we can play some Ogres and Oubliettes before bed time.” The pony had been giving the parrot curious looks and she turned back to me with an upset look.

“She did kind of drop an airship on Sekhet by accident.” Well that would explain Fizzle suddenly running inside and the crashing noise I heard, maybe that’s how we’ll build the town. Give everything a crashed airship theme.

“It wasn’t the captain’s fault that the balloon exploded… mostly.” The teenage parrot spoke up defensively while hugging the turtle to her chest.

“My daughter is your captain… that’s so adorable!” After a moment I stopped clasping my hands together and coughed into my right fist. Fresh Start, Fizzle, the turtle and even the new stray were staring at me for the squeal I had unleashed. “Ahem, anyway, I take it Sekhet is going to give her a hard riddling away from all of us?”

“Yes, she dragged Jade off to riddle her.” With that Fizzle sighed while looking away from me. “It sounds like she’s going to ask a hard one this time and she doesn’t want anyone helping Jade.”

“Riddle, why would she just simply ask a riddle after taking an airship to her head?” Well stranger, even I and everyone here knew Sekhet was actually a friendly goddess. “If I were her, I’d have crushed us with my big meaty paws.”

Sekhet was relatively friendly anyway, she liked my cooking at least and I knew she would never threaten to kill Jade. There are worse things than death that could happen to my daughter. Though Sekhet did rip out an Ursa Medium’s throat in front of Fizzle, but we don’t talk about that.

“I’m Jade’s mother, who are you?” The food was simmering at the moment and didn’t need me to watch it, but I only had two minutes before I needed to get back to it. It’s vegetable chili night with crackers, corn chips and my daughter’s favorite partial obsession parmesan. My daughter always was more of a dairy loving Abyssinian than a fish loving one.

-Jade-

“Okay Sekhet, let’s get this over with. Give me what you think is a riddle worthy of this accident.” I resigned myself to this, I wondered just what kind of punishment she would give me if I failed to answer correctly.

“Gladly, but its two riddles like last time. Your failure will involve you giving me half your portion of whatever Lady Kuril is making for dessert.” Sekhet could see I was about to object, so she held up a giant paw and stopped me. “Though it may have been an accident, the airship was moving at terminal velocity this time.”

“I’ll give you that, because last time it was about twenty feet above your head before it dropped.” This time the boat had been dropped from much higher up and it wasn’t like I was aiming to land it on Sekhet on purpose. It just happened that way as I only had enough time to cast two griffon feathers at myself and Jacky.

“Here’s my first riddle. What usually loses its head in the morning, but gets it back at night?” Okay that was an interesting one, makes me wonder if Sekhet will write books on the subject. If I could sleep on this riddle then I might… sleep… that’s it!

“A pillow.” She nodded that I was right. A pillow loses the head that rests on it in the morning, but it gets it back in the evening when you go to bed. “Unless you’re nocturnal or an insomniac, then your pillow gets lonely and wants a friend to share in its misery of going headless.”

“Cute, but no less true of those who don’t sleep at night.” That actually had Sekhet snickering, she quickly stopped and stared at me with a look of contempt. “Moving on to my next riddle. Using only the numbers four and six, how can they be half of five without dividing?”

“A math riddle?” I now know for certain that Sekhet wasn’t playing around. “I didn’t even know a Sphinx could do those! You’re playing dirty you giant piece of…”

“Mud can be quite cleansing I hear, ever been to a spa that doesn’t ask questions? Las Pegasus is quite nice for things like that.” Sekhet's toothy smile would not intimidate me, I glared at her as hard as I could manage. “Now answer the riddle Priest Jade, or do you want to give up on your dessert this evening?”

Well a Sphinx couldn’t tell a riddle that was completely impossible to solve, that would be completely unfair and would break the spirit of the thing that they were known for. How could you use just four and six to equal half of five without division? This was horribly complicated. What kind of math problem could possibly… wait... putting two and two together... eureka!

Clever girl Sphinx, clever ancient girl. I almost didn’t get this one, but you’re not winning my so dearly cherished dessert on the night I just got back you blatantly evil food hoarding goddess!

“The answer are the letters ‘I’ and ‘V’.” There was a long moment that I was being stared at by a wide eyed Sekhet, she started smashing her paws against the ground angrily.

“Darn it and I thought that would get you too! Apparently you know your numerals.” We went back to the restaurant together and she shrunk down to her alicorn size. “Your dessert is safe from me… this time at least.”

Sekhet honestly wouldn’t sound too threatening to anyone who heard her whining about not winning half my dessert. She was still a goddess and should be treated with respect for the fact that she can defeat entire armies on her own, so don’t ever drop an airship on her head on purpose.

-

The chili was quite good. My mom knows I don’t like spicy foods, but she makes the chili so well that I can’t help but eat it. The fine taste of spices, beans, garlic, pepper and onions and my coveted parmesan. Sometimes mom thought I was more mouse than cat, but both species liked dairy products and everyone knows that.

As for the dessert that I had saved from Sekhet? It was a nice and tart raspberry sauce drizzled over a delicious slice of cheesecake!

Jacky joined the O and O club the town had going this evening. Well the town of only one big, slightly dysfunctional, family living in The Witch’s Fare. That would start changing soon, thanks to some zebra word of mouth and the inn we planned on building here.

First we had to help Chickadee make herself a character. We already had a witch, a rogue, a spell sword, a cleric and a spoony bard, so what would a parrot choose as her class? Jacky Blackcap Chickadee liked the archer class, because she wanted to stay at range and not let her bad luck effect our game.

I didn’t have the heart to tell Jacky that her curse wasn’t that big a deal anymore, despite all of us getting some really bad dice rolls. It made the game more interesting and hectic for all of us, so bad luck wasn’t necessarily a bad thing in this instance.

My pirate souvenirs were a hit with mom and Fizzle. Mom liked her hat because it was shaped like that of a witch’s given a jaunty pirate theme. Fizzle liked hers because it could cover her stump, she could go out in public without having to wear the cloak. A cloak, I noted, that she seemed quite unwilling to part with.

I don’t think Sekhet liked her worshipper though, mostly because Jacky worshipped me more as her captain and didn’t really know much about Sekhet at all.

-A week later-

It seems mom had quickly adopted Jacky as well, I sometimes wished my mom would give me more hugs like she does those two. I was a little jealous, but that jealousy was tempered by the fact that Fizzle and Jacky had had somewhat less than stellar childhoods. My childhood in Abyssinia was actually quite upbeat in comparison.

I truly had no problem with Blackcap, which was her nickname now. After her bad luck seemed to have significantly dropped to a less life threatening level, it was now relegated to causing minor misfortunes that weren’t a big issue for any of us to handle. Jacky wasn’t going to be called Black Jack around here, as it is a nickname that seems to upset her and she preferred us using her middle name of Blackcap more.

I only had one issue with Jacky, she wouldn’t call me anything other than ‘Captain’. This is even when I explained to her I wasn’t a pirate or a captain and that I was in fact a rogue sun priest. She didn’t care, I would always be her captain that sailed us through the hellish storm that was made of her horrible luck literally out to get her and me. Her luck’s apparent last revenge was to eventually end up with Sekhet getting crushed under The Double Dare.

The Double Dare was now useless for the same reason the Predestined Paradox was, its keel broke upon Sekhet’s unbreakable spine. At least the rainbow the next morning had been beautiful, we didn’t have weather mares and we didn’t need them.

We here at Airship Mauled would take what nature, life and anything else could throw at us. Having a goddess that was domesticated by my mother’s cooking helped immensely, Sekhet wasn’t hiding the fact that she wasn’t leaving after she declared herself my mother’s advisor. Apparently mom is also the mayor of our one home town.

I was walking along the tracks to Ponyville with my two friends, if we had train tracks to our home then this trip wouldn’t be as problematic. Things had been pretty quiet at Airship Mauled, which was nice as it allowed my eye to get better and I had a week of fun hanging out with both Fizzle and Jacky.

The three of us were heading to Ponyville on small adventure. We had to get one of the construction crews Celestia hired to modify the first crashed airship into our home, we were turning the second crashed airship into a small inn. The second thing we had to do was meet the teacher Celestia was hiring and would be teaching us for the next few years.

Our educations were wide and varied.

Fizzle’s education had stopped cold and she was at the right age where her education equaled up to what she had been training for at the age she had lost her horn. Getting into Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns didn’t require just learning and using incredible magic, it also required that you learn a lot of other subjects.

If Tempest was allowed to carry on for the next seven years without help, then she would be quite poor socially and lacking in a good education. For example, she would be gullible enough to believe that an evil villain would actually fix her horn and wouldn’t just keep stalling on doing just that to keep her as expendable pawn. Note to self, recruit Grubber.

I would also like to point out that Fizzle might never get a cutie mark thanks to her broken magic, but I wasn’t about to tell her my theory on that.

Jacky’s education was very pirate centered, she almost knew everything she needed to know about being a pirate. Surprisingly enough, she was well educated by the school in Turtle Toga which was taught by a rotation of pirates. Physical education apparently involved fighting with weighted wooden cutlasses, pirate accountants taught math and pirates taught pirate related history.

Writing, reading and cussing counted as their own language classes, pirates had to learn how to write their memoirs somehow and selling said books was a thing successful pirates did for their retirement.

I didn’t know where Jacky would have been in the next few years, but being stuck on Turtle Toga was my best guess after the storm we flew straight through. The ship ended up falling out from under us after that and everyone that lives in Airship Mauled knew what happened next.

I believe Jacky would have been lonely and still waiting for a captain to appear. Nobody liked being near someone who is cursed in some way, well she was cursed until I helped weaken it considerably with my actions. I might not have been what she wanted exactly, but I was what she needed in the end.

My own education was not up for discussion.

I can tell that we are almost at Ponyville’s train station since a train just rushed past us. It was still early morning when we arrived, we were making really good time here.

All we had to do was find our teacher here, she’d be holding a… no way… it couldn’t be! Why was it her of all the ponies that Celestia could have gotten for this?

Let’s see crimped pink shaded hair, cutie mark of three smiling flowers, coat color of… I want to say light purplish cerise. Yep it was a younger Cheerilee. It could be her sister Cherry Blossom, but I highly doubted it.

“Excuse me, but you wouldn’t happen to be a teacher looking for some students would you?” Even if she were, we still had business in Ponyville. She jumped a little in shock and looked towards us.

“Why yes, I am. I’m Cheerilee and I’m waiting for my students, I’m supposed to meet them here and get escorted to their school.” I hoped that Cheerilee was going to transfer to Ponyville after she was done with us.

She was pleasant enough, but she kind of just wrote us off as we weren’t ponies.

“Did you a get a description of said students that you’re supposed to be teaching?” I looked to both Jacky and Fizzle, both of them felt as awkward as I did about this.

“Not really, but Celestia herself told me they would be quite special and that they’d be a real challenge to teach.” Your expectations were for pony students then. Said special students and challenge are currently standing in front of you.

“Hello teach, we’ve still got some business in Ponyville. If you want to back out of teaching us now that you know that some of us aren't ponies, we’ll understand.” I had never seen a jaw drop, ears wilt and tail scrunch up between a pony's hind legs so fast in disbelief before now. “Well you’ve got to begin somewhere, teaching all of us will be fun!”

Author's Notes:

Another dry chapter, at least it has a Sekhet riddle section.

Next chapter, the chimera.

Chapter Five, Building Relationships: Romance of the chimera.

-Cheerilee-

“Thanks for letting us know we’re needed again, we’ll gladly come by Airship Mauled later next week and we’ll get to work on it.” The stallion tipped his hard hat to our as of yet unnamed cat leader. “Let your mother know ahead of time to cook some extra for us, her food would absolutely be worth the trip almost on its own. We’ll at least give Celestia a large discount for the services rendered.”

“Thanks, oh and don’t forget to bring a unicorn that can cast a bubble of silence around our home.” After that the cat turned to leave and I was now curious as to why the town was called Airship Mauled.

I was still trying to come to terms with the fact that my students weren’t fillies and colts. The three I was following were friendly enough and Celestia had said the school needed someone to run it, but I didn’t know it was so out of the way.

“We’ll stop by Sugar Cube Corner for some snacks and drinks, then we’re heading straight back to Airship Mauled. Hey, are you still with us teach?” The Abyssinian addressed me affectionately, she was the one that informed me that I was the one to be teaching them.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that…” I had been following them silently for a while and I was being quite rude to them. The only one that seemed normal of the three was the pony and she didn’t seem very talkative. The scar she had and the pirate hat she was wearing around town seemed unusual to me.

I’m a little confused that all the ponies here in Ponyville acted like the pirate hat was a normal everyday occurrence, they were at least slightly skittish of the Abyssinian or even the parrot.

“Don’t worry, I understand. We’re not what you were exactly expecting, let me introduce myself properly Ms. Cheerilee. I’m Jaded La Perm, my friends call me Jade.” Jade turned from me and pointed out her friends, she introduce the pony first and then the parrot. “This here is Fizzlepop Berrytwist, she prefers to be called Fizzle and there’s something she’s going to have to show you later if you plan to stick around. That there is Jacky Blackcap Chickadee, she’s was stuck on an island until recently and it’s why she’s looking around everywhere in excitement.”

“Hello.” It was all the pony said to me as she gave me a pensive glance, but gave warmer look towards the Abyssinian. She didn’t think much of me and I wondered why.

“Hey Captain, how come ponies don’t use airships more often? I’m only seeing them around that Canterlot place in the distance.” It was a good question from Ms. Chickadee and I cleared my throat to answer it.

“Well airships are costly to build and maintain, the few who own the airships around Canterlot are the rich and noble.” I was quite willing to share my knowledge with a new student.

“In other words. The nobles of Canterlot have a monopoly on airship building, transport and trade in the given area and are actually holding the rest of the ponies back from growing the industry. They are making it too costly for normal ponies to afford easily and are doing it out of hedonism, a sense of power and to flaunt their egos with having something that others can’t possibly afford. ” Well Jade seemed to know quite a bit about things and that was quite an accurate summation of why we don’t have as many airships as other places. It was kind of sad, but it was the truth that the nobles were in the way of airships being commercially available to the rest of the public. “The nobles are just thankful there aren’t any pirates here who would want to tussle with the local Wonder Bolt squads, at least when said squads are on their game. Also, no we are not going to pillage and or loot them Jacky.”

Wait… what!?

“What do you…?” I started and was cut off.

“Aw, come on Captain. Why can’t we just do a little looting, pillaging and plundering?” Okay what kind of person was this Jacky that she would suggest robbing the nobles out loud like that, more importantly what kind of environment was she raised in? Jade did say she came from an island, so that’s a clue. “I mean it’s not like there are people that actually like those rich snobs right? We could make better use of those airships, if they weren’t being built so shoddily just to only look impressive. The construction on that one in particular looks like it’d perform poorly in a fight. It’s like a sad flying peacock, all visuals and very little in the way of actual function compared to form. A single cannonball to the tail of that thing would have it dropping to the ground in a minute.”

“I think that might be one of Prince Blueblood’s airships.” I muttered out loud, it looked like it was a decadent enough cruiser to be one of his.

“I’m sorry about Jacky, she was raised on an island that was made by, and is mostly for, pirates. I’m her captain for life after getting her off said island.” After a moment of silence to think it over as we entered Sugar Cube Corner, she then added. “Correction we can raid one of Blueblood’s ships later, but we’d have to ask Celestia for permission to do some limited and rather specific… privateering.”

“Fine by me Captain, I wouldn’t want you to get you in trouble with the sun princess!” I can’t believe those two were actually considering it, much less that they would even ask Celestia if they could. What kind of students was I being saddled with?

“You two are nuts.” Fizzle aptly described how I felt about them, but she was the one with the scar and pirate hat making it sound more ridiculous coming from her mouth. “If you actually end up doing that, then take me with you. I’m getting tired of just sitting around Airship Mauled and would welcome the adventure.”

There were no words for what I was dealing with right now.

-Jade-

It was always nice seeing Pinkie, but we couldn’t stay in Ponyville all day and play pirate with her. We had to get Cheerilee introduced to our hovel of a humble town after all. Though Pinkie pretending to be a sugar pirate would explain why most of the ponies around us were ignoring Fizzle’s pirate hat, admittedly the hat gave her facial scar quite a bit of flavor to her appearance.

“So your education wasn’t that bad?” Cheerilee was a bit shy about talking to us, but she eventually opened up enough to ask us about our schooling. “Just hearing about your physical education sounds like a nightmare!”

“Wooden cutlasses hurt a lot, sure, but I wouldn’t call my school bad. Though the worst ones were the ones that were splintering a lot from too much use.” I did not need to know about her pirating school any more, Jacky had decent marks in all her classes and if it weren’t for her bad luck she would have been off the island sooner. “We got extra credit for carving out new swords for ourselves and others. I’m no less educated than Captain La Perm or Quartermaster Fizzle.”

“I don’t like being called a quartermaster Blackcap.” Fizzle actually got along with Jacky most of the time, she just didn’t like being called a quartermaster. It probably sounded like an insult given that Fizzle only had about a quarter of her horn left.

Speaking of Fizzle’s horn.

“I think we’re far enough away from Ponyville Fizzle.” She looked at me while wincing, she really didn’t want to show Cheerilee her broken horn. “Better to show her now before she discovers later, do it while she still has the time to turn around and go back. Also Jacky is not using Quartermaster as a derogatory term, she’s actually trying to endear herself to you. Quartermaster is a very important position in a pirate crew for someone highly intelligent and she’s actually trying to compliment you… in her own way.”

“I know… it just sounds a bit derogatory to me considering…” At a point Fizzle just drifted off looking away. She didn’t sound angry, just upset that she had to show Cheerilee what’s under the hat.

Fizzle still didn’t really like talking about her horn, in fact I’d say she was mostly trying to forget she was a unicorn or had ever been one at all. It was a part of her history and it might be a part of it again eventually if I had any say about it.

“Show me what?” Well Cheerilee this might shock you, but Fizzle is more than meets the eye. She should stop the deception and or conning about being an earth pony.

I sent Fizzle a look as I put my left arm around her comfortingly, she didn’t shrug me off. We stopped walking and Fizzle gave me a look. Fizzy closed her eyes and removed her hat with her left hoof while sighing loudly.

Cheerilee gasped at the sight. It was old news to me and Jacky, though I wished Jacky had held back on suggesting installing a hook where Fizzle’s horn once was. The suggestion had been a bit insensitive to Fizzle and I had let Jacky know how I felt about her upsetting my friend.

“Oh… well then… if it bothers you, I won’t talk about it and we can just move on.” At least Cheerilee understood it was a touchy subject, she’d be a great teacher for her empathy.

“I was attacked by an Ursa… it’s where I got my scar from.” I hugged Fizzle tighter, she gave me a weak smile and hugged me around the waist with her right hoof.

“For what it’s worth, you seem to be coping better than most ponies would.” That was actually quite comforting for Cheerilee to state, as Fizzle seemed to lose tension in her body and she nuzzled up against me.

“It’s because I’ve got people that care about me.” I tussled Fizzle’s mane and she smiled a bit more, eventually we separated.

“The Captain is love, the Captain is life and a good one takes care of their crew in times of strife!” Only because you wouldn’t accept anything else Jacky.

Ms. Chickadee might still annoy me or Fizzle at times, she may be a bit unlucky, but she’s always going to be our friend come Tartarus or planetary flooding. If there was a current active element of loyalty, it was certainly Blackcap.

A loud shifting in the nearby trees caused us to pause, this area seemed rather… oh… right.

I was forced to the ground by a familiar chimera pouncing on me. We were currently walking right by flame geyser swamp, I had forgotten that an old friend practically patrolled the tracks for track kill when her hunting was going poorly.

Fizzle’s reaction was to get ready for a rough fight, she growled and her stump starting to spark up wildly. Jacky’s reaction was to pull the sword I used from the mêlée a trois, she was a much better sword fighter than I was. Cheerilee looked to have a panicked expression on her face and looked stuck between a fight or flight response.

As for me?

“Hey, Bloody Maries… how’s life treating you?” One would hope the others noticed that I was rather calm about having been shoved to the ground and had a chimera standing over me.

“Can’t complain, though our front left leg has been a bit of an issue since we faced you in battle.” All three heads said at once. Well I did address them as a whole being, so as such they’d speak as one. After a moment Mara the tiger head decided to nuzzle me affectionately. “Hello mate, you are looking quite well.”

“Er… what... I just thought I and Marie had a deal.” Now I lost composure, did the chimera just seriously call me her mate? I made an offer of nonaggression and friendship based on Bloody Maries not killing any intelligent thinking beings. It was something she had yet to actually do and not for the lack of trying mind you. “Didn’t she tell you?”

I did ask Marie to stick to wild animals or other carnivores, which shouldn’t have been too hard and the snake head had even agreed with me at the time. How had things changed so drastically from then to now?

Of course there were now horrific implications to my current positioning beneath them and I almost wished it meant she was going to consume me… eat me… rip me a new one? Nope, I couldn’t think of a way to make this sound any less perverted and that’s with an intelligent flesh eating monster standing over me. She did have sense of exotic beauty though… darn you hormones!

“Captain… you… know this strange land creature?” Jacky never had to deal with a number of creatures before, she was seriously thinking of getting a pet flying squirrel after seeing one for the first time. She put away the sword.

“Yes, she does. Now if you will excuse us, we will converse with our mate about things of importance that have happened to us since we last met.” What had happened to Bloody Maries? I was currently and completely lost, maybe even caught a bit flatfooted and might be even too flabbergasted to respond. “Yes Marie told us of your dealings with her, but I and Maria have decided to further the deal into something more.”

“Wouldn’t that require that I be there to discuss it?” I could sense trouble in my near future, given they all shook their heads no.

“Your presence wasn’t required, you who achieved victory over us.” Maria leaned down and slapped her tongue against my neck and dragged straight up the side of my face mussing up my fur. “We give you our affection.”

“You know what, save me from her… please!” My friends looked ready for a fight, but backed off when the Bloody Maries glared at them and started to cuddle me between her tiger paws.

“We will follow our mate wherever she goes!” All heads said at once in a possessive manner. “You can’t keep us away forever.”

“Only you can end up in a situation like this Jade.” My dear friend Fizzle muttered dryly, she shook her head and started walking in the direction we were originally going. “Well nothing for it, we’ll have to bring her home with us.”

“I will gladly accept living in your cave, I have no place anymore among my kind.” As she collectively said this, Bloody Maries quickly tossed me deftly onto her back. I looked down at her in surprise and a little bit of worry. “Do not feel sad for us mate, once we chose to pursue you our six parents saw us off properly as is traditional among chimera.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m feeling right now… let’s go with that.” Instead what I was truly feeling, which was fear mixed with a sprinkling of horror at possibly having a chimera following me around for the rest of my life.

“Is this normal for you?” A curious Cheerilee asked of my two friends.

“For the Captain?" Soon followed Jacky’s swift and eloquent reply. "Yep, certainly!”

Author's Notes:

"SUPER SENTAI ROMANCE TAG ACTIVATE!"

"Form of, horror show!"

"Shape of, future ridiculousness!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktUx57i63e0

It's easy to guess what Sekhet's reaction to this will be.

Chapter Five, Building Relationships: Romance of the mind.

-Fluttershy-

I’m kind of surprise my parents were letting me come here for lunch, I was invited for a good meal and I was going to take this opportunity to say hello to Jade and her mother today. I might even be able to talk to Sekhet a little bit more, coming with me were Rainbow and her mother Windy.

“Are we there yet?” Oh come on Rainbow, we haven’t even been flying for more than a minute. We should be there soon, it’s faster to get there by air than by land.

“No, but we’ll be there in few minutes.” I was glad we didn’t have to worry about getting attacked by monsters on the ground and the skies were clear today.

“Are you doing alright Fluttershy?” It was so nice of Windy to come along with us, I wonder what Mr. Hothoof and my parents are doing while she’s here with us. “I know my little champ is perfectly fine, but if you need to rest we can stop.”

“I’m doing okay Mrs. Whistles.” I wasn’t that weak. Sure I’m meek or didn’t fly very well, but I wasn’t made of paper. “We should be there soon, they are building a town out here.”

I might also be a fraidy… scaredy… okay, I couldn’t exactly use those bullying terms without thinking about how brave Jade and her mother are. A lot of things frightened me, but I really liked animals and there were a lot scary animals out there. Jade protected me and Pinkie from a chimera, then she and her mother faced down a pack of mean pukwudgies together.

I would think of myself as a chicken, but even chickens have claws and fight back. Even a cornered scared mouse can be stronger.

Speaking of pukwudgies. They looked adorable despite their violent tendencies, I spent a lot of time looking them up and learning about them. I wonder what Jade knew about them personally. Well I would find out soon, their home is located where the airship crashed right? So all I have to do is look for the campfire, if it was even still going that is.

-Jade-

I was walking alongside Fizzle and Jacky, trying not to pay attention to Bloody Maries. I didn’t know what to think of their affection towards me and she still hadn’t explained what happened to her between then and now. I was glad that she let me start walking on my own, because I really didn't want the chimera as a mount or for her to get any strange ideas about us.

Together and collectively the three of them were the Bloody Maries, separately as individual heads they were Mara the tiger, Maria the goat and Marie the snake. I just wanted to be friends and they chose to want something a little more.

Apparently I was the one they wanted as a mate, hopefully I could find someone more compatible for them and get them to stop calling me that as swiftly as possible.

My friends weren’t apparently going to be of any help, they didn’t want to hurt me or themselves trying to help me. I didn’t exactly want Bloody Maries to get hurt either. I just had to ask Bloody Maries a question or two as we were almost back to the campsite.

Cheerilee seemed to be staying well away from the chimera and kept giving it distrustful looks, what was truly scary about it was that it was actually serious about following me back to my ‘cave’.

“Quick question, do you expect me to mate with you against my will Maries?” That was the most important and straightforward question that I needed an answer to, everything else was secondary.

“No. Our species may be violent, but we aren’t completely barbaric.” I’m guessing Maries would be a barbarian class when we started our next town wide O and O game. Given her age, she would also be going to school with us… oh ‘joy’. Their ability to speak completely in unison is a bit creepy. “We will just keep being affectionate with you until you accept us, we will not push farther than you are comfortable with. Aside from that we are both still too young for such things. How do they say it in the civilization you people enjoy? I believe it is stated as get your head out of the drain pipe.”

“Well that’s a huge load off of my mind.” Taking this moment to see what the reactions were to my question, the results were quite varied.

Fizzle sighed with relief, good friend to be worried about such a thing.

Jacky shuddered at the implications I just brought up, she would probably appreciate it if I didn’t try to hook her up with Maries.

Cheerilee was the odd one as she had a disbelieving look.

Teach was probably disturbed that I already knew about how birds fly into bee hives and then the honey goes everywhere. That leads to the birds having to pay for the damages instilled and eventually the queen bee is running a quite lucrative bird seed racket. The birds are drugged on the queens beauty alone and she manipulates them like she does her other drug trafficking workers to go looking for pollen to pollinate things with. It would at least explain why the hummingbird mafia rubbed up against bees so often, probably passing the pollen on the sly.

Where was my mind going with that again? Did I just seriously go full on cloud cuckoo land resident? I think I dropped a euphemism somewhere in that train derailment. The cause of the derailment in my thought processes was certainly caused by me suddenly realizing the fact that it was the chimera telling me, of all the beings around here, to keep my mind out of the gutter.

We were soon upon the campsite and mom had broken out the cauldron again, it smelled like some kind of soup being cooked over my fire. Everyone likes soup and some bread to soak up the excess which I can already smell being baked, I was certainly not trying to distract myself from the chimera in the area as if she were an elephant with spatial issues.

“Quick Sekhet, you have to save Jade from the chimera!” Really Fizzle, that was the plan you had going on all along? Wait until we got back and then you try to get Sekhet to help save me from a vaguely dangerous relationship.

Sekhet just looked at the chimera who stared wide eyed at the large goddess, said goddess then turned a glance to me and snorted slightly.

“Save her from what? The chimera is clearly not aggressive at all and it doesn’t seem like it is stupid enough to assault me.” Oh here we go, once Sekhet hears about this she probably wouldn’t let me hear the end of it. “In fact they look to have quite a spark of intelligence for their species, they know when an apex predator around. Look, they're already trusting their instincts around me.”

Well Bloody Maries instincts told her to bow to Sekhet and to prostrate herself before the goddess. She left herself completely open and vulnerable to Sekhet’s whims, meaning that all her necks were showing to the greater predator here.

“I swear my little tom cat, can’t you go more than a week or two without something happening like bringing a chimera home?” She wasn’t going to be a pet mom, she was trying for something a little higher on the relationship chain. “They can stay if they want to. Though I must admit, you weren’t exaggerating about all kinds of weird things happening here in Equestria. Just please stop bringing strays home, it’s getting a bit hard to cook for all of them and a goddess with a bottomless stomach.”

“See… even Kuril knows they're not a threat." Resting her head on her crossed paws, Sekhet gave us a bored look and lazily flicked her tail from side to side. "So please, explain to me why I should bother myself with running them off.”

-Fluttershy-

“Are you sure it’s safe down there? There’s two monsters right there.” There was a bit of worry in Windy’s voice, even then she sniffed the air a bit and hummed at the wonderful smell coming from below.

Kuril’s cooking tasted wonderful the first time I tried it, I would like whatever it is that she’s making right now.

“It’s perfectly fine, also the bigger one is not a monster. It’s a goddess that Jade and her mother are friends with.” Though to ease our chaperones mind, I decided to suggest something. “We can land a little bit away and approach on hoof. I remember Jade saying she befriended the chimera and that looks like the same one that attacked me and Pinkie weeks ago.”

“Can I touch the snake tail mom?” Only Rainbow would seriously tempt that big cuddly creature to claw her face off.

“Ask the chimera for permission first Rainbow.” Well at least Windy was respectful of Ms. Chimera’s space.

-Bloody Maries-

That… is a big alpha.

Is it an Alpha though?

She’s humongous.

Our mate certainly doesn’t need our protection at all, she’s powerful and has powerful allies.

Sisters, what should we do it’s just staring at us?

It doesn’t see us as a threat, we should attack and make it know all our names!

I know for certain that fighting it will surely get us killed, let’s run!

Like we didn’t already know that fact Maria, I will sit and await judgement.

Come on Marie, help me out with Mara here. We need to start running and fast!

Nope, I’m not getting in on this, you two were the ones that wanted Jade as a mate. We can still fall back on just being friends.

Never!

Never!

Look is it really that hard to just work up a friendship first? We’re not even sure if we’re exactly compatible in any given way, shape or form. I will abstain from following your suggestions, we're sitting still and not moving.

Look Maria, father never ran from danger and is a powerful hunter. We are a mighty and proud chimera, we do not run away from danger no matter how grand! You are being cowardly.

Mara, father lost five teeth in that encounter with the Hydra and his ability to spit fire was weakened for several days afterwards. I’m not a coward, I just don’t want to be stupid and take on more than I can chew.

Mara, Maria, must I remind the both of you that I’m the smart one here? Let’s just try to greet everyone in a friendly and calm manner. If that alpha thing decides to be upset with us, she will win the confrontation. I really don’t think all the poison that I can inject her with will do anything to her at all.

Also could you not think the word 'chew' Maria? It reminds me of all those tin cans you keep eating and you know Mara and I don’t like it when you do that.

I agree with Marie, no more tin cans please Maria.

Tin cans fills our belly for a while though and they taste good.

Good to you maybe, I and Mara have to deal with the consequences of what you eat.

The consequences have never bothered me. I still want Jade to be our mate, but I do not want to fight that thing as it is both above us and beyond. You both know my instincts are right!

You’re the part of us that can consume anything, of course it doesn’t bother you Maria! Just know that I do not think we should pursue Jade too roughly, if you are actually set on her being our mate.

On that we agree.

-Jade-

“She wants Jade to be her mate and she would have hurt us if we tried to get Jade away from her. We brought her here so you could deal with her!” There was a long silence after Fizzle told Sekhet that.

I could see Sekhet’s mouth starting to crinkle up and her eyes welled with tears, she was going to be hysterical for the next few minutes.

“Pftt…hahaha~” As she started laughing she started beating her curled paws against the ground. She was crying tears of joy, she obviously found my current predicament hilarious.

“You know Sekhet, I swear the next airship that falls in this area will be intentionally dropped on your head and it will be heavier than the previous two put together.” That was not an idle threat, I will in fact do that.

“This thing between you and the chimera will end in hilarity since you’re you. It’s probably the most amusing thing to ever occur in the last nine hundred years for me!” Sekhet continued laughing at my situation and she spoke while continuing said laugh. “I will actually let the next intentional airship dropped on me go without a riddle or any aggression against you just for this bit of amusement alone.”

“Can you swear on that as a goddess for me please?” Oh yes, I was definitely taking advantage of that lovely offer. I moved over to Jacky and whispered to her. “Hey Jacky, how heavy would an airship made out of gold, jewels and other unnecessary materials be?”

“If you’re talking about the airship Cheerilee said belonged to that Blueblood guy, then many times heavier than the airship you converted into a restaurant here Captain. The average sized sailing galleon is over five hundred tons in wood alone.” Here Jacky paused and started doing the math in her head. “Assuming it’s an airship of a relatively similar size made with gold. I’d estimate that it would be somewhere in the range of ten thousand tons, give or take a thousand or so. Gold is about twenty times heavier than most woods in cubic feet. A heavy ship like that is likely illegally constructed.”

“Perfect, thanks for doing the math for me Jacky.” I rubbed my hands together grinning. I'm not evil, what goddess comeuppance plans? Blackcap was good at O and O because she could actually accurately calculate her character's aim with a bow to a good degree.

When Jacky said Blueblood’s airship was like a sad peacock with very little in the way of function, she wasn’t kidding, especially not about the single cannonball thing. Clearly pony taxpayers money doing important work.

“Sure, do your worst Priest Jade. I doubt it will have me in traction for long.” You’d eventually eat those words Sekhet. “Anyway, the chimera is not an issue. She can live here if she’s intending to stay.”

“Thank you gracious and mighty alpha above alphas!” The Bloody Maries spoke reverently in unison, she was terrified stiff of Sekhet. Like the completely paralyzed Cheerilee.

“Lunch is ready everyone, come and get it before I have Sekhet lick the cauldron clean!” Mom’s words were music to the ears. I would try to get my mind off the chimera seeking to earn my affection with delicious food.

“Yes, finally, give me some of that!” What was Rainbow Dash doing here? Following the blue blur was Fluttershy and Windy.

“Hey, did you hear everything?” Well I’m a bit embarrassed.

Fluttershy came over to me for a quick hug.

“I think she's moving your friendship along a little too fast for you.” I idly wondered if Fluttershy would like to date a chimera.

Chapter Five, Building Relationships: Actual Romance.

-Jade-

“Don’t worry about it cutie, she’s not really all that bad even if she is trying to push our relationship farther than I want it to be. Quite frankly, I haven’t known her for more than a few hours and we really don’t even know each other all too well.” I was sitting down at my never ending campfire to eat a hot bowl of soup and a large chunk of bread wrapped in a napkin. “In fact, why don’t you try to get to know her? She’s made of three animals, seems like something you’d be interested in.”

Hopefully I planted the idea in Fluttershy’s head to try and make friends with the Maries, she did seem curious.

Cheerilee was eating quietly and sitting across from Sekhet and Maries, even an alicorn sized Sekhet was intimidating to both her and Maries. It was understandable that they feared her, even I was somewhat afraid of a goddess with the power to squish me like a grape.

Rainbow wasn’t scared of Sekhet or Maries, Windy was at least respectful and keeping a close eye on Rainbow to make sure she didn’t do anything silly.

“So, what was your name again? Maries I believe my daughter has been calling you.” Looking over at mom, I wondered what she was going to ask the chimera. “Tell me about a bit about yourself or your life.”

“Collectively we are Bloody Maries, individually we are Mara, Maria and Marie. We are of the Bloody Tracks clan, our father Flames has two male heads and one female, our mother Traces has three female heads.” Going by what Maries just told us, it would be no surprise to me that all chimera are bisexual given they might be one or even two thirds female or male. While the two of her front heads ate, Marie was doing the talking. “Chimera are not always omnivorous, sometimes we are carnivorous and rarely ever herbivorous depending on the heads we are born with. Thankfully we have omnivorous capability. Food is always an issue for us in the swamps as our clan fights and trains to hunt for various things, it is necessary for our continued survival. We may have violent and or even brutal practices among our kin, but we do not hurt one another permanently unless such an injury is warranted. We are not evil… we are just following nature.”

“Um… since your friends with Jade, does that mean you don’t need to follow your nature as much?” Yes, keep doing things like being innocent and adorable Fluttershy!

“We are tying ourselves to a new clan, with new rules to follow.” Marie looked to Sekhet. “We believe the matriarch is the one who has the final say and we have not yet learned the rules of our prospective mate’s home.”

“I’m not the matriarch or leader, that’s technically her job.” Sekhet pointed to mom sitting next to me and Fizzle, mom just rolled her eyes and continued eating.

“The mother of our mate is truly the matriarch?” Marie sounded a bit surprised that my mom wore the robes around here. “What a strange hierarchy when an alpha among alphas lives here, but we will learn in time.”

After that we learned that chimera were based around being strong or getting good hunts, for the more herbivorous it was survival and supporting the other chimera. Chimera would never hunt and eat another chimera, outliers still existed though. They were savage to an extent and civilized in others, but they were below diamond dogs from a civilization standpoint.

Fluttershy had been curious to learn about things from the predatory Maries point of view, it seemed there were no hard feelings between them. She even got to meet the friendly sea turtle, she got so excited and started talking about how cute the shelled critter was.

Soon lunch was over and the visitors had to leave, they thanked mom for the food and promised to come back again some time. Throughout all this Fresh Start had been just giving the chimera odd looks, but just shrugged and went with things like she did after meeting Sekhet. Fresh was quite stoic.

After the three winged ponies were flying their way home, mom turned on the Maries and started to lay down some ground rules for how we did things around here.

Rule one, Maries must try and court me appropriately and not just say that we were mates right off the bat thanks to a trial by combat.

She must take my feelings into consideration and be friends with me first or else my mother would never make food for her again. That had Maries grumbling that I was already her mate by right, but she still accepted that rule. It was already too late for her… she had tasted my mother’s cooking.

I had to thank my mom for that, Maries kept looking at me a like a piece of meat.

Rule two, don’t eat, kill or take anything that was intelligent, a pet like our resident sea turtle or anything else that someone cared about. If she wanted to hunt something, then she would do so away from the town and had to make sure it was something we wouldn’t care about missing. Like dangerous predators that would hurt those who lived here that decide to encroach upon our territory.

No problems at all with that at all, in fact she agreed to the terms quite well.

Rule three, learn to use a toilet and or litterbox.

Maries easily agreed to learn that particular skill, especially washing her paws.

Rule four, she would be joining us for school to learn more about the various societies we all came from.

Mara didn’t take this so well. Maria was somewhat curious about it. Marie was all for it. So they eventually agreed to learn how to live with us.

- Two weeks later, Fizzle-

I nuzzled up against Jade’s side as we relaxed under the tree. I was relieved that Kuril was able to stop the chimera from forcing Jade into anything, it wouldn’t have worked anyway. Still Bloody Maries was quite persistent even when she wasn’t making too much progress in getting much more than sisterly affection out of Jade, any positive affection made the chimera happy.

Just like any affection I received made me happy. Things like fingers rubbing the back of my ears or just going through my mane. Currently her hand was rubbing my neck and my head was in her lap, I was quite happy right where I was.

I and Jacky were starting to come around to being friends with Bloody Maries, at least parts of her. I got along with Marie and Jacky got along with Maria.

Ms. Cheerilee’s classes were interesting, at least she wouldn’t have any trouble teaching a bunch of rabid fillies and colts. Not when she was doing so well with teaching a broken unicorn, a friendly chimera, an unlucky parrot and the insane cat that took an arrow for me and somehow ended up fighting pirates days later.

We were relaxing as it was the weekend, Jade said she was thinking of ways to help me use magic and that she might have an idea after we were tired of being lazy for the morning.

“So what does wood do when cast or sustained?” Magical alchemy was interesting to me, it was a completely untapped area of magic that both Kuril and Jade were pioneering.

“Wood when cast causes the target to become tougher with skin and fur becoming like the bark of a tree, not the kind of effect I’d want to have on me permanently as it kind of chafes badly. Though it is useful, unlike the fish scales it can be cast on objects to improve their durability.” Jade explained to me. Airship Mauled is a magical place to live, I didn’t want to leave. I had family, except I always felt strange around Jade as if there was something more to it. “As for the magical sustain well… it’s not really useful.”

“Oh this should be good, now I have to know what it does!” Sustains always had curious effects. Neither I nor Jade had figured out what using the sustain effect for a cloak does and it does actually take up the one sustain limit Jade says is a hard rule of their magic. “Also wouldn’t casting fish scales on an object make it water proof?”

“I… hadn’t actually considered the possibility of making an object water proof with the multiple cast permanence effect.” Only Jade could be half as smart as she is dumb at times, that’s why I’m here to point things out for her and then cuddle her because that always felt nice. “As for what the wood sustain does… it makes hair like a mane or tail grow slightly faster in sunlight. Thankfully it doesn’t cause rapid aging and I had Sekhet confirm the effects for me.”

“I don’t know, it might have its uses.” I hummed and looked at Jade’s shaggy green hair and noticed that it was halfway down her back instead of just below her shoulders. It’s probably the prettiest thing about the tom cat… what was this strange feeling in my cheeks? She could take care of her hair a bit better, maybe brush or comb it more often.

I sometimes felt like I wasn’t capable of much, but I was training my body up with the expert coaching of our resident physical education teacher Sekhet. Sekhet really knows how to put a body through the wringer and she certainly remembers how to train warriors, Maries was even becoming her star pupil.

Speaking of the goddess in helping catalogue the effects of wood used in magical alchemy, It’s about time Sekhet did something around here instead of being as lazy as Jade attempts to be. Surprisingly, Cheerilee found Sekhet’s exercise regiments to be within educational standards of Equestria or even better.

I, Jacky and Maries wouldn’t let Jade rest for too long or even get fat, though her slight pudge was cute and when she was drenched with sweat… did my heart just speed up there for a bit?

Huh, I don’t feel sick at all… anyway if Jade’s idea actually allows me to use magic, then I’m all for whatever the idea is.

“So what have you been working on, that’ll help me do magic?” I feel the fingers of her left paw caress the left side of my face softly, it was a very pleasant feeling. I’ve only been these people for a little more than a month, but I was right at home here with them.

I didn’t even know I needed what I currently have now until I decided to stay with Kuril at Jade’s request.

“Well it’s not anything really big, it’s just using what we already have in a unique manner.” That was modest sounding of her… and rather cryptic. So what was the catch here? I know that Jade doesn’t do normal when she’s motivated to do something. “I have to thank you Fizzy and the best way I know how is giving you some capability to do magic.”

“What would you have to thank me for?” Every time she called me Fizzy, something in my gut twisted in an unusually pleasant manner. I hardly do much of anything around here aside from washing dishes or a few minor chores. I idly thought about how the construction crew got that inn built after eating some of Kuril’s cooking.

“Several things really. Giving me a fresh perspective on things like magical alchemy for one, being my friend is another and I now even have an idea for a really good birthday present to get Jacky when it comes around thanks to you. Blackcap’s been pretty interested in archery from our games of O and O lately.” That much was true, but why couldn’t Jade just get to telling me how she’s going to get me doing magic already. “Also don’t think none of us haven’t noticed you attempting to use magic when you sneak off on some evenings, you tend to pass out trying and Sekhet has been making sure you safely come back. Your important to all of us Fizzy, so stop doing things that worry us so much. You can do that stuff around Airship Mauled you know.”

I… I felt bad for worrying them.

“I’m sorry... for worrying you.” She pulled my head close to her belly in a hug, I started to wrap my hooves around her and nuzzled up against her chest. This felt right. I was quite excited to hear her idea, I wanted some of my functionality back without passing out from draining my entire body of magic for one burst.

“It’s okay Fizzy, just don’t hurt yourself. Now get up, we’ve got something to try.” With that, I got off of Jade and she looked over to where Jacky was napping on a nearby tree’s branch. “Hey, Jacky!”

“Whuh… agh… oof… ach… ow… #@$^!” That poor parrot fell out of the tree hitting several branches on the way down. I don’t even know what that last grunt of pain was before she slammed bodily into the ground face first. She slowly picked herself up and came over to us and threw Jade a salute. “What do you need Captain?”

I was surprised that she wasn’t complaining about the several painful bruises likely forming on her body.

“Sword me, and I don’t mean accidentally stab me in the butt with it this time.” Yeah, that was an upsetting experience Jade or I would rather not relive. I watched as Jacky pulled the sword out without her belt coming off or her pants dropping, she carefully handed it to Jade as if it were a loaded crossbow. It probably would do something almost exactly like that in her hands. “Thanks Blackcap, go about your business.”

Jacky sat down to watch us as Jade turned to me.

“Okay, so you know how I and mom have Ogres and Oubliettes character sheets for ourselves? Well I’m going to need you to light your horn for a bit, but don’t discharge.” I Gave Jade a nod and closed my eyes to get ready. “I need you to focus on fire, ice, energy, water, wind or at least something elemental like you would expect from O and O while charging your horn. Do it when you’re ready.”

I reached deep down into myself. I had a large well of power, but little to use it on. What did I feel like using? Fire, like Jade’s… warm, comforting and close to my heart.

“Okay perfect, hold that thought whatever it is.” I could a feel a portion of my magic rushing out of my broken horn, usually it just explodes out of me all at once uncontrolled. “Done, open your eyes and stop the magic.”

I did so and was met with a sword covered in a thin layer of flames. Did I… did I do that?

“Guess what, you just might be a spell sword Fizzy!” Jade swung the sword upwards and a blast of fire shot out and exploded as a bright colorful firework above us.

I felt a powerful tingle travel up my flank. I decided to act on my first urge and quickly tackled Jade. I pushed my mouth over hers and then like the colorful explosion that went off in the sky… bliss.

Author's Notes:

Love, it hits you when you least expect it... also stand up for Fizzlepop Berrytwist's theme in this story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BtI43kqkOI

(New Magical Alchemy Information!)

2. Fish Scales (simple).

Cast: Fish Scale Skin (Temporary defense buff). Possible permanence with multiple casts, more effective underwater. (New!) Can be used to water proof objects.

Sustain: Water Projection (Continuous offensive ability). Able to spit or project volatile volumes of water, drains fluids from body with excessive use. You can actively control the volumes of water you project and how focused that projection is.

Sustain 2: Blood Projection (Dangerous offensive ability). Capable of performing a powerful projection, but only from open wounds. As one would imagine blood projection is exceedingly painful, taxing on the body and ultimately dangerous to the user. The intimidation factor might be worth the agony in the right situations, but it will always be a detriment to one’s health.

Self-Sustaining: None.

(New Alchemy Ingredient!)

17. Wood.

Cast: Bark skin (Temporary defensive buff). Make skin and fur tough like tree bark, like most casts can become permanent with multiple consecutive uses. Increases durability of objects when targeted. Causes mildly uncomfortable chafing on a living target.

Sustain: Hair growth in sunlight (Limited utility effect). Only works in direct sunlight.

Self-sustain: Magically enhanced building material.

Chapter Six, Mariachi Changelings: Clique bait.

-Jacky-

I wonder if Fizzle has forgotten that I was here in her excitement, she certainly seemed to be trying to eat the Captain’s face something fierce.

…

Wow, the pony was really going at Captain and was holding her tight.

Fizzle must really like the fact that she can do some magic again.

It’s either that or she’s in love with the Captain, it was kind of likely given how quickly she deepened the kiss.

…

I loved the Captain too, but not nearly that much.

…

Okay now you’re just getting a bit excessive with the Captain there Fizzle.

…

I preferred males personally, I just haven’t had any… heh. Yeah, falling out the tree is probably going to be the worst thing to happen to me today. Well, one could only hope that’s the worst of it anyway.

Oh look, Captain is finally reacting and she’s… oh she’s starting to returning favor by wrapping her arms around Fizzle! That’s really cute, until now it had all been all Fizzle’s enthusiasm.

…

No… wait… I think the Captain’s trying to get air and Fizzle is kissing the life out of her.

…

Why am I still sitting here watching what is happening, I should really do something.

…

I don’t know if I should stop this, Fizzlepop seems so happy. It is kind of killing the Captain though.

…

“Hey, stop that, she needs air Fizzle!” At the sound of my voice there was a sudden pause. Fizzle slowly pulled her head away from Captain’s face and gave me a wide eyed look.

Captain La Perm took in a gasp of air once her face was free.

It was then that Fizzle’s face turned as red as Kuril’s vegetable chili, she then looked down at Captain La Perm and began looking sheepish about her actions.

Captain was breathing quite deeply and was just staring straight into the sky for a minute. She eventually blinked and turned her eyes on me, I noted that she didn’t try to get Fizzle off of her.

“Thank you for noticing my lack of air Jacky!” Well you don’t have to sound so sarcastic Captain La Perm.

“You’re welcome Captain.” I’m more surprised that I returned the sarcastic sentiment sincerely.

“I would like to deliver a cheesy pickup line to you Fizzle, if you don’t mind.” At the Captain’s words Fizzle just gave her an odd look. Fizzle obviously wasn’t relinquishing her perch. “When I look at you, you take my breath away… quite literally in fact.”

“I… it… that was so corny Jade!” Fizzle was only slightly upset with the Captain, given she was still snuggled up against her. She started to cry, I can tell those were definitely tears of happiness as giggling followed. It took Fizzle a while to calm down and eventually plant a kiss on the Captain’s cheek. “Can you tell me how that worked exactly, you said it was simple right?”

“Well I do love corn chips… anyway it really is simple Fizzy. It requires effort on your part to focus on what you want to happen, it can’t be an effect that requires continuous magic though. So don’t expect to be capable of levitation.” The Captain was smart to have come up with this method of magic for Fizzle, so she likely knew what she was talking about. “It requires a sturdy object, you just touch said object to your horn and force magic into it while thinking of what you want to happen. I consider the elemental attacks from O and O to be the simplest form of magic, which is why I had you focus on that.”

“Aside from the fact that I can’t cast continuous magic, are there any other limitations to this…” Fizzle was getting rather affectionate with the Captain. I wasn’t going to complain unless she almost choked my Captain to death with her tongue again. “What is it exactly? I already know it’s based on the make believe spell sword class of magic, but what would you call it?”

“At best it would be called ‘Imbuing’. Know that it’s not the same as enchanting an object, I read my mother’s old notes on enchanting while coming up with this. Whatever object you imbue can only take so much magic from your horn. An object will either explode or something catastrophic will happen if you put too much magic into it.” Thank goodness the Captain was already warning her about the dangers of doing magic this way. “I figured it would work best with a pointy object to start with. A unicorn uses their horn to focus magic, the tip of which is the controlling factor whereas the base is the channeling factor. You still have the channeling, you’re missing the control.”

It certainly sounded quite dangerous already with having to put something sharp like the sword close to her head and around me of all people.

“So I can use objects like you do with magical alchemy to give me a limited form of control, but only quick spells and if the object can handle the stress of having my magic pushed into it.” After Fizzle said that she had a thoughtful look on her face, she still wasn’t getting off of Captain La Perm. “Will there be a lot of magic bleed off from my horn? Attempting to cast even one spell knocks me out.”

“Yes, the bleed off is inevitable, but you really don’t need to cast with your horn to do this. The quicker you imbue an object with your magic, the less energy you’ll lose.” Captain carefully pushed Fizzle away and went to pick up the sword she dropped when she was tackled. “I helped you the first time. Now we have to see if you can do it on your own, just know that I believe in you Fizzy. Just keep your eyes open and try not to hold it to your horn for too long.”

Fizzle looked at the sword handle being held out to her, she got a determined look on her face and took it in her right hoof. She looked the blade over and then glance up at the stump on her forehead. Some unicorns closed their eyes to concentrate on channeling magic, but Fizzle had to do this with her eyes completely on what she was using.

“Yeah, show us what you can do Fizzle!” Hey, I wanted to encourage her too Captain! She needs all the positive reinforcement she can get. “Just don’t hurt yourself doing it.”

-Fizzle-

Okay, I can do this. Jade helped me with imbuing it with fire the first time, but this time I had to do it on my own. Concentrate… warmth, the fire, Jade’s cuddly body… I can’t get distracted like that! I need to focus, I didn’t want to damage my horn any worse than it already is.

Fire, protective and warm against a cold night, comforting and close to my heart. These were the things I needed to concentrate on, like how nice the kiss with Jade felt. I wanted to protect what I held dear with the ability to do magic this way!

I held the sword against my horn and I felt the drain on my magic and watched the sword, it started getting brighter and brighter. I pulled it away and was now holding a sword glowing with fire.

Something felt off about it though.

I swung it upwards, the flames jumped from the sword and surrounded us with a hemisphere shaped wall of pink fire.

It was fire alright, but it wasn’t burning the grass and was making me feel oddly safe. I created a magical barrier of flames? How did that happen? I’m rather confused… no… I think I actually get it now that I think about it.

Flames of protection and love, made for my friends that I cared about and in turn I knew that they cared about me. Yep we were all certainly still just… who am I kidding? Not myself for one when it comes to Jade.

The barrier fell having only lasted about five seconds. It did so without anything happening to the area around us, it only looked really impressive. Jade was now giving me a curious look, my heart was beating a bit faster with the cute way her ears flopped.

I tapped the sword to my horn again while charging it, the first time I imbued the sword I was thinking of fire in a different way. I focused on how Jade’s fire crackled and popped, it was always combusting brightly and I had thought about how living around here had filled my life with color.

I wanted to spread the color I had found throughout my world of gray, I wanted to protect my friends and I wanted to be useful. I knew, absolutely, that this is what I wanted to do! I was going to try many things, I was going to do many things and I was going to be many things.

I’ll shine no matter what I’m doing here, the world will see that spark in me igniting the sky!

I pulled the sword away and now there was a thin film of flames on it.

I feel like kissing Jade again, because I can use magic in spite of my horn's condition!

Well in a very limited manner, but it was still something after the last few years I’ve been living like a pale shadow of the little filly I once was.

I swung the sword upwards. Fire erupted from the blade and exploded above our heads in a far more colorful and brilliant fashion.

I felt a surge of triumph throughout my body and once again I felt a familiar feeling in my flank, only it wasn’t a tingle this time. It felt like the entire world just became a little brighter for some reason and I could feel it pulsing.

“I hope you know that we’ll still work on fixing your horn Fizzy.” I already know that Jade, you already promised me that you would at least try. No one from the village I grew up in even tried for me.

“I know, but at least you gave me an outlet even if it turns out that my horn is truly impossible to fix.” I didn’t want to believe it was impossible, but it would be pretty hard to achieve. I wobbled a bit, using my magic like that took a bit out of me. “I need to rest a bit, let’s get back to your campfire.”

I stumbled a bit, yeah it was less tiring than trying to do a single spell with a broken horn. Imbuing… I can live for the rest of my life with at least this much.

“Take it easy Fi…” Why had Jade gone silent all of the sudden, I looked to her and Jacky.

Why were they both staring at my… oh… that would certainly be something to stare at.

Jade, I’m sorry, but you may die of asphyxiation. I’ll marry Maries in your stead as an apology... if she doesn’t kill me first that is.

-???-

“Hey, did you guys see that? Someone’s shooting off fireworks out here!” We had been wandering around for a while now, aimless and lost until we saw that pretty explosion. I was already sold on going that way. “There’s some kind of celebration going on there, maybe they’ll let us perform.”

“Yeah, seems like someone has something going on. Where there’s people and a party, there’s a place to play our music!” I had to agree with my buddy, maybe we can do a song or two before the pitchforks came out this time. We weren’t bad musicians, people just didn’t appreciate our species even if we were good folk. “Let’s go get our groove on then!”

-Jade-

Okay, Fizzle was being much gentler this time. The third time she's kissed me in the last few minutes really. After she finally released me, I was feeling quite shy... and lightheaded.

I seriously wondered where Fizzle learned to kiss like that.

There was a smile that only the sun could outshine on Fizzle’s face and it was really beautiful to see. We went back to the campfire to see what everyone else was getting up to.

Upon arriving back at the campsite mom was outside and I could tell she was about to ask what was going on. She took one look at Fizzle and smiled quite a bit, she could definitely guess what the fireworks were about.

Sekhet was looking upon Fizzle in interest and more than a mild sense of curiosity, next to her was Maries who looked to be recovering from an extensive exercise routine with Sekhet.

Even Maries sat up and noticed something different about Fizzle, because we had a party to plan.

-Approximately thirty minutes later-

I think Fizzle might have finally calmed down. Things would hopefully be quiet for lunch today, Fizzle was at least chatting with Marie in a less than hyper mood she had going for a while.

“So she has her cutie mark now, even with her magic broken like it is no less.” Sekhet nodded to me as she spoke. “I must admit that you are a miracle worker Priest Jade. It seems we are living in interesting times.”

Oh sun, I hoped Sekhet just didn’t say what I thought she just said. Those words always meant something unpredictable would happen!

“Sekhet, did you just seriously invoke the interesting times curse on me?” Cue evil grin and my lackluster response to it, she had said it on purpose.

It seems Jacky was about to comment on what I just said, but it was already too late. We heard music playing and coming up to the campfire was a carriage.

Pulling said carriage was a brightly colored changeling, how in the world did that exist before Thorax? He was a little more than twice the size of a normal changelings. On top of said carriage were four other colorful normal sized changelings idly strumming guitars and or playing trumpets. The only changeling that was out of place was the standard one that seemed to be sitting with them.

The colorful sombrero wearing changelings stopped playing and the leader of the group addressed us.

“Hello there, it seems you have attracted a group of amazing musicians with your colorful displays.” Oh for the love of, a band of colorful mariachi changelings. How the Tartarus did this happen? “I am Clypeus and we are The Shapeshifting Siesta! These here are my four amigos Labrum, Labium, Tarsus and...”

“Wait, why don’t you look like him?” I pointed to the less colorful changeling, what the bug ponies should naturally look like with tattered wings, bodies and jagged horns.

“We are changeling wanderers who instead of taking love, we share it… in the form of music!” He strummed his guitar once dramatically. “That changeling is our requisite groupie. The big guy there is our final member, Big McLarge Huge!”

We all burst out laughing at that, even the stoic Fresh Start couldn’t keep a straight face. The big changeling just smiled at us.

“Yeah, the best name in our group is always saved for last.” Clypeus certainly had a high charisma stat.

I looked at the not so colorful changeling.

“Hello, I’m Kevin. I’m just here for the food.” That... was incredible. There are absolutely no words for Kevin's completely straight delivery.

Author's Notes:

Kevin is what I'd liked to call an unusually uninteresting sight in the MLP world, he walks around without a disguise and nobody seems to care and was seen at Cranky's wedding.

Yet in the Crystal Empire, everyone overreacts to Thorax in the extreme.

Kevin must be a really cool dude to not have spears shoved in his face constantly.

Fizzle's cutie mark will be never be described, use your own imaginations.

Magical Alchemy list.

1. Fish Bones (simple).

Cast: Water breathing (Temporary passive water terrain survival buff). Breathing water as if you had gills, permanence can be achieved with repeated casts.

Sustain: Swimming efficiency and deep water survivability increases.

Self-Sustaining: Luminescence. Once used as a sustain effect, bones glow softly on their own.

2. Fish Scales (simple).

Cast: Fish Scale Skin (Temporary defense buff). Possible permanence with multiple casts, more effective underwater. Can be used to water proof objects.

Sustain: Water Projection (Continuous offensive ability). Able to spit or project volatile volumes of water, drains fluids from body with excessive use. You can actively control the volumes of water you project and how focused that projection is.

Sustain 2: Blood Projection (Dangerous offensive ability). Capable of performing a powerful projection, but only from open wounds. As one would imagine blood projection is exceedingly painful, taxing on the body and ultimately dangerous to the user. The intimidation factor might be worth the agony in the right situations, but it will always be a detriment to one’s health.
Self-Sustaining: None.

3. Raven Feather.

Cast: Survive a fall, fall on something safely or possibly target launches and falls on something by user’s choice or at random (One time air terrain survival buff, possible offensive spell). Target tends to end up freezing twenty feet above something living.

Sustain: Projecting thoughts. Not able to receive thoughts, but you can project them to others.

Self-sustaining: none.

4. Sunlight.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Smoke signaling. Causes smoke to appear as if something was burning.

Self-sustaining: Warms the planet.

5. Knife.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Rogue Enhancements (Continuous passive buff). Heightened dexterity, agility and environmental awareness. Strengthens all mobility based buffs.

Sustain side effect: Inability to sleep or relax.

Self-sustaining: Trains muscles and exercises body for similar maneuvers used while wielding the sustain effect.

6. Knife Sheath

Cast: Traps one target temporarily (One use support spell). Time limit for stopping a target is the same every time for sheaths of similar design. Sheaths for different or larger weapons ‘probably’ improves time limit.

Sustain: Increased protection against knives, arrows and other small bladed weapons (Continuous passive buff). Warning: Does not protect against anything larger, or anything else for that matter.

Self-sustaining: None.

7. Alicorn Feather (Celestia).

Cast: Wings of sunlight (Limited air terrain mobility buff). Target is given wings of pure sunlight. Darkness, shade or shadows can weaken the flying power the wings generate, at night they'd be far less effective. The power of the wings can be combined with a knife's or similar sustain effects for improved flying ability. The wings might be extinguished by water and could be useless while it’s raining. Does not protect the user from gravitational or high speed stress and lack of oxygen at high altitudes like a pegasus would be by their magic.

Sustain: Redirect sunlight (Defensive support buff). Is only useful during the day and allows for blinding opponents or aggressors with light.

Self-sustaining: Minor protection from darkness (Automatic defensive buff while feather is on person). Needs to be charged with sunlight and to have been used as a magical alchemy sustain at least once to work.

8. Phoenix Feather.

Cast: Cleansing Flames (Support healing spell). Finds and stops negative foreign bodily ailment or ailments that are magical or mundane, does not heal damage. Can possibly stop positive ailments.

Sustain: Protection from the cold (Continuous defensive buff). Immunity to cold, increased defensive ability against ice and relative elemental based magic.

Self-Sustaining: None.

9. Jade’s Cloak.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: ???. (Effect seems to do nothing, need more information.)

Self-Sustain: Makes sneaking easier (Moderate stealth buff).

10. Cupcake (Banned by Kuril).

Cast: You don’t want to know.

Sustain: Likely none.

Self-Sustain: Delicious.

11. Frog Mucus (Banned by Kuril).
Cast: Magical wide area sticky substance bomb (Hard to get out of clothing).
Sustain: ???.
Self-sustain: ???.

12. Griffon Feather.

Cast: Feather Falling (Limited air terrain support buff). Lowers gravity’s effect on an individual for a minute.

Sustain: Double Jump (Continuous Mobility buff). Can jump off the air one extra time after leaving a solid surface and only one time.

Self-sustain: None.

13. Fish Oil.

Cast: Ignition (Multipurpose offensive and support spell). Ignites itself and anything around it except the user.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

14. Candle Wax.

Cast: Stiffness. Slow down a target, can have a wide area of effect for reduced effectiveness.

Sustain: Heat resistance (Limited continuous defensive buff). Does not stop heat damage entirely and candle takes heat damage in place of the user.

Self-Sustain: None.

15. Pepper.

Cast: Sneezing cloud (Limited continuous Defensive spell). Wide range spell that doesn’t affect the user, causes continuous sneezing on contact and doesn’t necessarily need to be breathed in to take effect.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

16. Tricorne.

Cast: Charisma boost (Limited status buff). Gives one the ability to walk around with confidence.

Side-effect: May instill need for showboating in user.

Sustain: ???.

Self-Sustain: ???.

17. Wood.

Cast: Bark skin (Temporary defensive buff). Make skin and fur tough like tree bark, like most casts can become permanent with multiple consecutive uses. Increases durability of objects when targeted. Causes mildly uncomfortable chafing on a living target.

Sustain: Hair growth in sunlight (Limited utility effect). Only works in direct sunlight.

Self-sustain: Magically enhanced building material.

Combination 1: Candle Wax + Oil (any) + Pepper = Chaos Candle. Candle hollowed out and filled with the other two ingredients mixed together equals devastating results.

Cast: Sneezing flash bomb (Offensive one use spell). Blinding, sinus wrecking and volatile magical cast.

Sustain Cast: Weak jet propulsion device (Limited air terrain support buff), Flamethrower (Limited offensive spell). Doing this will slowly destroy the candle and chemicals used in it. Exhaust fumes has a lesser effect of casting with pepper.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

Combination 2: Feather + stick + arrowhead (material any) = Arrow. Arrow + poison = special status ailment added to casting effect based on poison used. Pukwudgie Poison (Paralysis for a few hours).

Cast: Arcing Arrow Beam (Offensive spell). Fires a beam that is effected by gravity as if it were an arrow, it can only damage one target and that’s the first thing it touches. If it grazes a wall and then hits you, it will do nothing to you.

Sustain Cast: Spray of multiple weaker beam shots.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

Chapter Six, Mariachi Changelings: Risk take.

-Kuril-

“It’s nice to meet everyone, I’m Kurilian La Perm or just Kuril. Due to the jerks that are also a part of this place known as Airship Mauled, I’m the current acting mayor.” Why was everyone giving me innocent smiles? Sekhet certainly couldn’t do innocent if she tried. She was a goddess of war that can do war in any form, which obviously includes mental and or prank wars. I wouldn’t be surprised if she could fight political wars either. Maries was the only one that wasn’t smiling at me and she was looking at the changelings hungrily, I should get started on lunch soon. “Welcome to our little town, where there is oddness to be found! We have an inn, a restaurant and an incomplete train station. Also no Maries, you can’t eat them… they haven’t done anything yet to warrant it. Speaking of doing something, there’s something very familiar about your group.”

I rubbed my chin in thought, where have I heard of The Shapeshifting Siesta before? Oh right, that thing that happened in Klugetown. That place isn’t exactly safe to raise a child, but my daughter would have probably fit in somewhat now. I’m just reaffirming the fact that Palicoast was definitely the right place to have my child.

“Familiar good or familiar bad?” Asked Clypeus in a slight worried tone, he and his band mates were putting away their instruments in the carriage. He was a purple colored changeling. His friends were blue, yellow, green and Mr. Huge was red.

“I’d say a middle ground, both good and bad. You have good music, but…” I made all the changelings wince except for Kevin, who just gave them a blank look. “You’re the reason changelings are banned from Klugetown, after one of you did something with a shrew if I recall?”

“Yeah, that fiasco was all Tarsus’s fault.” I gave him a stern look and he gulped while rubbing at his neck. “Won’t happen here I swear it, you have my word or else we’ll disband because of a certain idiot we can’t play without!”

“Hey! How was I supposed to know that her favorite food was pickles?” There was a story there about the blue male changeling Tarsus, but it didn’t sound like the one the papers talked about. “What went on after that could have happened to anyone and what we shared was special! I even wish I could go back and do right by her, but the mercenaries that were hired by that guy would be out for my blood if I went anywhere near my belle now. I’m a lover and not much of a fighter in the slightest, even if full to bursting with shared love.”

“It’s kind of like a love story…” Start Green female changeling called Labrum.

“One that ends in tragedy.” Finished the yellow female changeling Labium.

“With no one dead thankfully.” Both of Labium and Labrum intoned in unison like Maries tended to do at times. “It certainly helps him play sad songs at least!”

The two of them looked like twins given how similar their features are aside from their colors, Mr. Huge nodded with a frown on his face at their words. Seemed like they all knew the real story.

“Well we’re not going to judge you based on your past actions here. We’ll judge you on what you do in the here and now.” That was quite fair of me, I wondered why Jade wasn’t doing anything. She was usually more talkative, right now she was just sitting off to the side waiting for something. Oh dear, what happened? Jade wants to talk to me alone, given how she flicked her tail and ears at me while staring intently. “It is a bit fortuitous that you’re here, do you do cuteceaneras for ponies?”

“Depends. Will they scream while grabbing pitchforks and torches at the sight of us?” At Clypeus’s question, I simply pointed to Fizzle. She just looked at us and shrugged before going back to her discussion with Tail Marie. “Okay, we’re in! We don’t need much pay, as long as we get to play our music for you without horrible unexpected interruptions.”

“We’ll discuss business and what you’ll play at the party later Clypeus, why don’t you get yourselves settled in. Apparently I’ve got some business with my daughter. A daughter that none of you are to go near with any funny ideas, understand?” I flicked out the claws on my hands and Clypeus nodded vigorously. I quickly pulled my claws back in my fingers. “Good, glad we came to an understanding, I hope you’ll come to The Witch’s Fare for lunch. I promise the food is good, even if it does nothing for you.”

-Kevin-

The Shapeshifting Siesta guys were really interesting specimens of my kind, what was also interesting was how the younger cat seemed to take my words with some form of amazement. All I did was tell her exactly what I was doing here. It was quite logical, so why was she so surprised?

Anyway the band was setting up at the nondescript inn, the residents here were idling about and the mayor was taking her daughter into the restaurant. She was protective of her offspring, a logical sentiment for a mother to have.

I sometimes don’t get people or even other changelings. Why hide what we are? Someone will eventually figure out and it causes negative consequences for changeling kind as a whole. I just walked around as I am and speak plainly, so far I’m having more luck than my entire hive combined in receiving love without having to steal it. So really, the methods currently employed by the hive are quite inefficient.

Is it really so hard for other changelings to be like me? Or like these changelings who I’ve noticed don’t suffer from love sickness, which is an extreme lack of love in a changeling. Speaking of food, I could sense love in the air between five individuals.

The cat, the chimera and the pony… that’s quite an odd combination. One way love for the chimera the cat is friends with, two way for the pony and cat as of right now.

“You don’t seem so big to me Big McLarge Huge.” That was the one they were calling Sekhet, she was the size of an alicorn. Yet, there was no horn on her head and she had paws like a cat despite being pony like. “I can show you what big is really like.”

Mr. Huge gave her a questioning look and then she grew to enormous proportions beyond that of Mr. Huge’s stature. I mentally noted she was dangerous and powerful, that size alteration was quite real and without using the amount of magic a changeling would have used to do something similar.

I also took note of the other dangerous thing around here, the chimera. They seemed quite tame which is odd. Much of this place feels odd, yet there’s a certain kind of logic to how so many disparate parts worked together.

I would do well to not overstep my boundaries here, but I find this place fascinating since it is constructed with two crashed airships. It seems to still be in the process of being built and welcoming all kinds of beings, which seems like a prudent thing to do.

Many beings coming together to share a common goal with various skills, that goal being mutually assured survival. I approve, this place was certainly something I’d never tell Chrysalis about.

-Jade-

Mom had me scaling and fileting fish. She knew I wanted to talk with her and was making me do this as her way of giving me some time, just so that I could think about some of what I wanted to tell her and or discuss.

Mom hardly ever got the chance to do any parenting with me, she really cherished these moments quite a bit. On the rare times I turned to her for guidance, she was caught flatfooted when I asked for her help or advice.

“Okay, what is it my little tom cat, what can mommy do for you?” There were very few times that Kuril ever got to ask that of me and I wouldn’t begrudge her that. This was a time she actually had some serious mothering to do and she did it surprisingly well.

It always left me feeling a bit horrible about being completely capable of taking care of myself, at least in this life.

“To start off… how do you know if you’re in love with someone?” My words obviously shocked mom quite a bit, she wouldn’t tell me about my other parent and I wasn’t going to ask her about that. Though this question may as well have been asking about the other parent of Jaded La Perm. “I understand familial love thanks to you. I might even get friendship given how many I’ve dragged into living around here. This question is important to me and I wanted to discuss it… mommy.”

“Working on lunch can wait it seems, this is really quite important.” Mom wiped a tear from her eye and placed the fish fileting tray off to the side and wrapped her right arm around me. “What led up to you asking me this Jaded?”

“Well Fizzle kissed me on the cheek…” She gave me a warm smile and it got even bigger than that when I continued. “She also did it twice with tongue, I don’t know where she could have learned to kiss like that. She almost suffocated me the first time and the third time she was being quite gentle. She may have been a little afraid of hurting me in her enthusiasm at that point.”

“She was pretty excited about doing some form of magic again I take it?” I snorted at mom’s understatement. “Hey, if you were a unicorn that lost what made you what you were, you’d be pretty excited too! Her horn is what makes her what she is, to her. It may even be a unicorn’s whole world, but it doesn’t make her ‘who’ she is.”

“Who and what?” I asked.

“Exactly! I think she might slowly be realizing the difference and is coming to terms with that by finally turning away from what she was, to finding who she is as a person. She’s trying to accept things.” Mom looked me in the eyes while continuing to talk to me. “We’re helping her with that. Since you’re both so close to one another, she wanted to show you how she feels about all we’re doing for her. She feels like she’s useless without her horn and we’re proudly proving her wrong!”

“She was quite happy that I helped her earn her mark. In a more intimate way.” I really did like Fizzle, but I was concerned about several things. “I’m concerned about whether or not she wants us to be more. I mean a lot of good things are going her way today. She’s had one of the best mornings in her life, one she’ll never truly forget.”

“I don’t think that’s a really big concern. You’re old enough to date now and I, as a parent, sadly have to acknowledge that fact. Though I think she could have just hugged and kissed, licked and or nuzzled you on the cheek all three times. What she did was going a little bit too far for a month long relationship of being friends… I’ll just have to lay down the law with her like I did Maries.” Mom started to rub my back soothingly as I listened to her. If that’s what she felt was the right thing to do, no complaints. “Though this makes things a tad awkward because I kind of see Fizzle as another daughter, Jacky too for that matter. I’m a bit iffy on Maries and whether or not she’d accept me mothering her. She certainly accepts Sekhet as a superior.”

“Mom, can you get back to the subject I originally wanted to talk about please? I don’t even know how to date or have ever been on one really.” Why wasn’t she taking me a bit more seriously? And now she's laughing. “Why are you laughing?”

“I’m sorry for laughing, but it’s just… I seriously didn’t think you’d be coming to me about something like this Jaded.” Mom started rubbing me behind my right ear. “I can hardly imagine you dating by the book, much less wearing a dress.”

“You know I’ll never wear a dress mom.” Was she seriously trying to distract me from the topic of my original question about love?

“Never say never Jaded! Wouldn’t you want to pretty yourself up for a date? I think Fizzle would look really nice in a tuxedo, I don’t honestly know what Maries would wear if you dated her.” Mom certainly had a point, Fizzle would look good in a tuxedo as much as she would a dress. How would a dress even work with a chimera?

I however didn’t like dresses and would never wear one for any extended period of time! I’d rather go nude, which was thankfully a thing you could do here in Equestria. I had fur covering my whole body for a reason!

“Fizzle would look good in either a tuxedo or a dress. If we do end up on a date, then I’m never wearing a dress or prettying myself up for it.” Quite frankly the standards for the beauty of outer appearances were pointless in the end. When all is said and done the person will eventually know what you look like without makeup anyway, plus it was rather expensive habit to form. “If she can’t accept me as is, then why bother dating?”

“It’s about making an effort to strengthen a connection Jaded. If you truly love someone, then you’ll do some pretty bizarre, insane and or crazy things just to make them happy or keep them safe.” There was a sad, wistful look on mom’s face. “Even if said things are really stupid, it builds character and good memories.”

“I have enough character as it is mom.” She snickered at my words.

“True, I guess there’s nothing better than being yourself.” Mom seemed kind of sad that I wouldn’t do girly things, but then she grinned at me. “Why if you were to put on makeup and a dress, then you just wouldn’t be my daughter anymore. You might just give me a heart attack, would you really do that to your poor dear old mother?”

“You’re not that old mom.” I received a sharp stare from her and I didn’t flinch.

“You need to take risks when it comes to love Jaded, to open yourself up to someone else completely and utterly is a big one. To learn them inside and out as well as they do the same to you.” She inhaled, trying to calm herself. She pulled me close. “Romantic love requires that opening of yourself, which can lead to the possibility of forever losing someone that you can hardly live without. For when they do go away… they take large chunks of you with them. We took that risk, I and your other... parent. They were a stranger in a strange land that I had formed a strong bond with. I was hurt by it terribly when it ended… then you came along my kitten. You're really in love... when you never want to be separated by anything.”

Author's Notes:

Tail Marie is a pun.

Chapter Six, Mariachi Changelings: Fresh’s state.

-Kuril-

“Thanks for talking with me about this mom.” Jaded wasn’t asking about her other parent? I just snuggled my kitten and held her, she’s growing so big.

I guess it really didn’t matter from her perspective, Jade didn’t need them. What she needed was me. Maybe I can try and look for love again, but the hurt would always be there though. The pain is faded and dull now, it used to be so sharp and cutting like a dagger applied to the heart.

At least she knows how I felt about them now, those memories were painful and yet I still held them close to my heart all the same. Hopefully, she’ll take my advice and eventually put on a dress just to tell whoever she ends up with that she’s actually making an effort for them… because that’ll the day I’ll have a camera ready.

“Jaded, your previous life was obviously horrible.” I stated flatly as I went to get started on cooking food, I had six extra mouths to feed here. “Now finish scaling and fileting the fish.”

“One serious talk and you’re already putting me back on fish duty.” Oh my sweet little tom cat. You may have had a previous life, but it certainly didn’t do you any favors to remember it in its entirety. “Of course you are.”

To love and be loved, is better than to have never known love at all.

-Fresh Start-

Okay, Cheerilee is the only other normal pony around and I was living a weird life. I’m living with the fact that I have to look after the strange kids, keep the litterbox clean, help serve the food and do basically everything a regular maid would be expected to do.

It’s just that I felt like an outsider sometimes.

“What are you doing?” I jumped at the voice and turned to see Mara and Maria, it seemed Marie was taking a nap and her sisters were keeping her head off the ground. Otherwise they’d be dragging Marie through the dirt everywhere.

Isn’t having one head asleep dangerous for a chimera? Well it is rather safe around here and I’m sure they’d wake her up if they had to fight off something. Did I just seriously worry about…? I’m actually taking the monsters feelings into consideration?

I must be losing my mind. Sure the monster was intelligent and going to school with the other girls to be taught by the only other sane pony around, but Maries is a carnivorous beast that has tried to eat ponies!

Tried being the key word, she never succeeded and probably would never do so now that she was friends with Ms. Berrytwist. How could that pony be so brave? Then again, if there was anyone who was feeling more like an outsider than I do, then it would be them.

What is my life and why did I take this assignment form Princess Celestia? This is not exactly what I was expecting when I was told I was getting an important duty.

I’ve been thinking too long, I better answer them.

“I’m setting up the tables for lunch.” I hoped that was all that the chimera bothered me with, any sane pony would be afraid of her.

“I… would like to… help you with that.” Wait… what?! I don’t even. Why did Mara say that? The way she struggled with saying that left me feeling sorry for her, I shouldn’t be feeling sorry for her like this! “You are the dens caretaker yes? I wish to assist you.”

“I… don’t know how to take that.” She got a bit angry with me and growled, I shied away and then… she just looked frustrated. Not with me, it was mostly directed at herself.

“I apologize for my sister, she is having a hard time with living here.” The bleating head of Maria spoke up from next to Mara, who was looking away with her head and ears wilting. “We all are… this kind of living is really unusual for us. It isn’t bad though, as long as we can keep meeting Sekhet in combat for exercise.”

“I…” Was I really considering this? Yes, yes I was. I think I might be coming down with something if I was considering allowing the beast to set up the tables. “You can help me. Set out the napkins and cups at each spot to sit at these two tables. I’ll get the silverware for those who use it.”

“Was that a crack at us being savages?” I looked Mara in the eyes after she asked that and had something to say.

“No, Sekhet doesn’t use silverware either and I don’t think she’s savage for our alpha of alphas as you call her.” I paused to consider what I was saying to Mara, I was actually thinking about this. “In fact, aside from spoons, I don’t see why unicorns even bother with silverware when they could just levitate food into their mouths with magic. I don’t honestly think any less of you for not using silverware Maries… you can also help set out the plates if you want.”

Mara gave me a surprised look and I gave her one back, I… I don’t think I was looking at her as a beast anymore.

I mean the few weeks they’ve been here, I’ve been scared of Maries for the longest time and now… something just clicked. My special talent involved more than just getting up early in the morning, it’s also about seeing others who are trying for new beginnings or getting a good jump on things by helping someone with whatever it is they were doing. An example would be helping Celestia or Cadence get a generally good morning going when I still worked in Canterlot.

“You surprise me den caretaker, we could smell your fear of us and yet… it’s now gone.” As Mara said that I was already setting out a number of plates, cups and napkins for her to start placing on the tables.

“I think I’m surprised about that myself.” I was actually considering being friends with a… no… she’s not a monster. She’s just a kid like Jade, Fizzle and Jacky. “So how has exercising with Sekhet been going?”

Exercising with the goddess was one of the things Mara enjoyed doing around here, aside from cuddling up to and nuzzling Jade affectionately. There was a sisterly bond, but I could tell Maries wanted more. Only she was kept at limb’s length, which could be quite frustrating for her. I was now thinking of how she came here to begin a new life.

“She is mighty, no matter her size.” Mara had a lot of respect for the goddess Sekhet and it showed. Following her words was Maria’s statement about how things went. “We have learned that size does not always matter. She tossed us all around the area this morning using only a small portion of her strength and we know she was holding back the entire time. Even if only slightly bigger than us, she is very formidable.”

Of course she was holding back, she’s a goddess of war! Though she was also said to be a goddess of healing and that doesn’t really come up much. Well at least I haven’t seen her healing anyone or doing anything too nice for anybody.

“She could kill us at the size of an average cat in under a minute.” That was my belief at least, provided we didn’t have an airship or something equally heavy to stall her long enough to get away. Not that I could run ten miles in the time it would take for her to get out from under the airship and track me down.

“Am I… scary… or is it intimidating?” What was Mara trying to ask me here, she was at least setting everything up correctly and I waited for her to get finished with the napkins before I started placing the silverware down.

“You are definitely both, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.” I just said the word, how did I just say it so plainly?

“Would Cheerilee eventually be friends with me?” Was Mara seriously asking me that personally as a separate entity from her sisters? “She fears me more than my sisters.”

“I’m sure she will get over her fear eventually, just give her some more time.” Wait, I was actually giving Mara advice now? The aggressive head of the Maries? “Come on Maries, let’s go clean up a few rooms before lunch.”

-Cheerilee-

Out of all my students, Fizzle seems to be the brightest. Unicorns tended towards education and when they didn’t, they tended towards specialization in their cutie mark related talent.

As for the rest of my students, it was a bit of a mixed bag.

Jade was knowledgeable about many creatures and even pointed out many things she’s observed about Maries and how her body work. She was quite good at many subjects, there was a problem area though. She couldn’t do advanced math to save her life.

When I had brought it up with her, she made a joke about never telling her the odds. She then stated that she’d likely prove people wrong by overcoming them out of ignorance. I know for a fact that that is something that actually happens, given my sister is a professional wrestler who doesn’t know the meaning of quit.

Quit, to stop or discontinue an action or activity, to resign from a job or leave a place.

Jacky was bright, she knew everything about pirates and there was little she didn’t know about pirate history. I didn’t know pirates had such good schooling, because Jacky was good at math. She got really good when it came to the pirate version of math, where a pirate accountant was likely to pocket some extra booty for themselves on the sly.

I actually got a percentage rating for how noticeable a few extra gold coins off of each haul is depending on the size of the vessel plundered. She gave me a fully detailed graph as homework to show how much a pirate accountant could actually get away with before the captain became suspicious of duplicity. It was really quite fascinating, also a little bit disturbing.

She was like the opposite of Jade, she wasn’t very knowledgeable about the world as a whole and wasn’t interested in history that didn’t have action, cannons and swords. I’m kind of surprised the Equestrian Education Association hasn’t come by to check on my class yet, it wasn’t exactly a pony class so they probably wouldn’t ever show up here.

Maries… I was quite scared of them. I was also very scared of the resident goddess Sekhet, who was a living breathing historical figure from the tale of Somnabula. Still, I found Maries to be interesting students.

Mara was the hardest one to teach because she was the most aggressive of them. Maria at least seemed somewhat interested in learning. Marie was bright and studious. Collectively speaking, they were scary when they put their heads together.

These were the odd students that I had to work with.

“Excuse me ma’am, but I have to ask. What do you do here?” I turned to the brightly colored purple pony bug thing called a changeling.

Jade knew what they were and thought something was odd about the one called Kevin out of all of them. I admit I was curious about the visitors that came to this oddball place, I didn’t know anything about them or their culture.

“I’m the local school teacher for the next few years.” What was his name again? Come on, think Cheerilee. Oh that’s right, it was Clypeus! “Why do you ask Mr. Clypeus?”

“I was wondering who here runs the inn.” That was actually a very good question Clypeus.

“Uh… Fizzle! Who runs the inn?” Someone had to know, so I turned to Fizzle sitting at the campfire that never goes out. She was staring at it with a warm smile on her face, my words knocked her out of her comfortable dazed state.

“Huh… oh… no one does really, they can stay there for free.” Well there you have it from Fizzle’s mouth, I guess the band of changelings were staying here free of charge. “We still need to find someone to run it.”

“Well okay then, we’ll give you a discount on the cost of our performing here. We’re already not asking for much, but we still need at least some money to maintain our instruments and our mode of transportation.” With that Clypeus walked off while shouting out the names of his friends to tell them the news.

“Did you need anything else Ms. Cheerilee?” I trotted over to Ms. Berrytwist.

“Well I have been considering changing my mane style.” The crimped look sadly just wasn’t in anymore. It was fun while it lasted, but I was a teacher now. “I’m thinking of straightening my mane and tail, maybe even getting it trimmed a bit. I wouldn’t mind getting your opinion on that.”

“My opinion? Well it might make you look more professional as a teacher. When are you going to Ponyville for that?” Thanks for the reminder Fizzlepop, I had almost forgotten that this place didn’t have much. Airship mauled counted as a hamlet, but I really didn’t want to ruin everyone’s dream of calling it a town by correcting them. “You’ll need someone to escort you there teach.”

“I’ll ask around for whoever wants to go.” I hoped it would be a nice visit. When I was done teaching here at Airship Mauled, I’m going to take a teaching job in Ponyville. “Though Maries might cause a panic if she chooses to go. I won’t stop her if she wants to, but she should really be warned of trouble cropping up because of what they are.”

-Fresh Start, some time later-

“Thanks for helping me Maries.” They had helped me clean up and tidy a few rooms upstairs while another wonderful lunch was being cooked by Kuril, I sniffed the air and knew we’d be having something good. “Something smells really good.”

“You are welcome to our aid.” They said in unison, I thought that was kind of neat and not at all completely creepy.

Okay, it was totally creepy that they could do it so easily, but I wasn’t going to say that out loud to their faces.

We made our way down the stairs and Kuril popped out of the kitchen.

“Can you get everyone together Fresh? Lunch is about ready to be served. Jade is currently helping me with the finishing touches on the dessert.” Throwing Kuril a salute I made my way for the door outside with Maries following me. “Oh and when you’re done with that, come back here and help me bring out the food!”

“Hey Mara, would you do something for me?” I thought of something interesting, it seemed like a pretty good idea to get everyone’s attention. “I want you to roar loudly to get everyone’s attention. Can you tell everyone that lunch is ready? I’ll go help Kuril with bringing out the food.”

“It has been a while since I let one loose.” Mara muttered as their body made its way out the door.

Ah, life here. It almost seems normal. So when is Jade going to inevitably mess that up or do something weird?

-Mara-

Inhaling, I belted out a powerful, deafening roar from my throat!

Author's Notes:

Are you bored yet? Have I driven this story into the ground? I can't ever tell when I start doing so.

Chapter Six, Mariachi Changelings: Playing date.

-Sekhet-

“What was that in effort of?” I looked over to the changelings at the doors to the inn, they looked about ready to bolt.

“It is lunch…” Maries started, only to blink as the breeze of my passing slammed into them bodily. “Time.”

-Jacky-

Sekhet just left behind a confused chimera and a cloud in the shape of herself, one that seemed to look left and right before running towards the door. The Sekhet shaped dust cloud started pawing at it and one could hear the wind as it tried to open the door with its useless paws made of dust.

That… I don’t know how Sekhet left behind a sentient dust cloud that wanted food as badly as she did.

To think Captain is one of the tamest strange things around here.

“Well you guys are in for a treat, Kuril the mayor always cooks good meals.” The Captain’s mother was always good at filling an empty stomach and I wondered what lunch was today. I took note of the cowering changelings sending Maries scared looks. “Don’t worry about them, they wouldn’t hurt you unless you hurt them first. Come on, follow me! It’s perfectly safe.”

“Well… if y-you’re sure.” A shivering Clypeus said while pressing himself up against Big McLarge Huge like all the other changelings, at least they had the right idea with using numbers. The execution could use a little work though.

A roaring chimera was definitely a unique way to get everyone’s attention and Quartermaster Fizzle was already making her way over to me. I just had to remind myself not to call her that out loud, I didn’t want to be insensitive.

“Like Blackcap said, don’t worry about Maries. It’s just an unusual way to call for lunch.” As Fizzle started to walk into the restaurant, Kuril quickly came out and pulled her off to the side.

“I need to have a talk with you about something important young mare, everyone else go in and enjoy the buffet before Sekhet devours everything.” It seemed Kuril had something important to say to Fizzle.

I walked up to the door and stopped to look at the sentient dust cloud that tilted its head at me, I decided to ignore it and continued on inside. The local goddess being weird was nothing to give a second glance.

-Fizzle-

The changelings were slowly, but surely, getting over their fright at Mara’s roar as they followed Jacky inside. It had been rather loud and frightening in a bone chilling way, so I could understand their apprehension. I was less apprehensive about it, only for Kuril to pull me off to the side.

“How have you been feeling around my daughter lately?” Well that was an odd question for Kuril to ask, but yes I have been feeling rather odd of late. I was certainly happy to have my cutie mark now though. “Has your body been doing anything strange around Jade?”

“Well my heart speeds up, I like her touching me, my stomach flutters and for some reason my cheeks clench a lot around her.” It’s almost like how I could understand what a pick up line was, but not the context behind why someone would say one. It’s supposed to be just a pun related joke right? “I don’t know why I’ve been feeling like this, I’m not sick am I?”

“Do you know what romantic love is my little Fizzle?” There was a certain tightness to Kuril’s words, I shook my head no.

“Not really, but I know how to kiss someone who makes you really exceedingly happy.” There was something going on here and I was missing something big, where was Kuril going with this? I really liked Jade and she really liked me, that’s all there is to it right?

“Just like Jade then… come sit down with me for a minute before we go in and eat. It appears I definitely need to lay down the law with you like I did Maries.” Kuril sat down and she patted her lap while looking to me expectantly, I laid down putting the front half of my body in her lap. She started to run her digits comfortingly through my mane. “Okay to start things off, have you ever heard about the birds and the bees?”

“I know of birds and bees.” Bees hurt and birds sometimes flew into things dumbly, what more did I really need to know?

“Now that you have a cutie mark I think you’re old enough to hear this.” Hear what exactly, what were you going to tell me Kuril? “So a bird flies straight into a bee hive and the honey gets spilled everywhere. The queen bee forces the bird to pay for the damages instilled and eventually gets them under control because she’s so beautiful. This is what eventually leads to the hummingbird mafia working for the bees…”

-Jade-

“Hey Jacky, where did mom go?” I had all the food set up at a table with Fresh’s help.

“I think she had to talk with Fizzle outside about something.” Nodding to Jacky, I moved to get everyone’s attention.

“Hello everyone, today we have special guests in the form of The Shapeshifting Siesta and Kevin the friendly changeling.” Looking at me, Kevin just gave me a lazy wave. The five more colorful changelings stood up to bow together before sitting back down. “For today’s lunch, mom went for simple. We have sushi rolls over there stacked three high and twelve by twelve to a tray, raw fish rolls are on the right and vegetable sushi rolls are on the left for those of whom meat doesn’t agree with. Note the sea turtle that randomly pops up in odd places around here, it is currently eating a vegetable sushi roll. You can try it with soy sauce and we have clearly provided the cups for holding said sauce.”

The sea turtle just looked up at me innocently with a small portion of its face covered in rice. It dunked the bit of its sushi roll into some soy sauce and just went back to nibbling at the sushi roll, we still needed a name for her.

“Next on the menu, we have a huge pot of gazpacho soup. I assure you that it’s supposed to be served cold and mom is apparently on a bit of a multicultural kick today. It goes really good with the grilled and sliced garlic bread or the crackers we’ve set out.” Lazily I moved on to the next item, one that I was going to partake quite a bit of. “For the final main meal item, we have a warm pile of linguini smothered in a delectable and decadent cheese sauce. We’ll bring out dessert after we’re done eating the main course, so save room for it. Now everyone dig in, except for you Sekhet. At the very least leave some for the rest of us you gluttonous goddess.”

“I’m not gluttonous, I’m just big!” Thus I and Sekhet entered a staring contest, it was getting much easier to stare down the alicorn sized form of the war goddess. “Fine, I’ll eat normal sized portions this time! It’s only because we have guests though.”

The changelings took up their plates and started grabbing food, I started to shovel fish sushi onto a plate, grabbed some gazpacho and a small mound of flat noodles. Alfredo was a creamy sauce I could get behind, the only thing here that filled my dairy loving passion. It was an odd mix of foods, but it wasn’t bad.

-Clypeus-

I was the lead singer and guitarist of our band, but those weren’t the only instruments I played.

I took my first bite of the gazpacho soup and froze, love… there was so much of it in that one spoonful alone. We who shared love didn’t require it nearly as much, but it still tasted good. Mayor Kuril could fill up an army of changelings full of love on one pot of this alone.

Looking over to Kevin, I watched as he slurped up a single cheese covered noodle. He didn’t get much to eat, but when he ate that one noodle his mood changed to shock and his stomach swelled slightly.

We seriously needed more changelings around that understood how to share the love, or at the very least are less cruel in their methods like Kevin who walks around and asks for love instead of pretending to be someone he’s not.

-Kevin-

Did I just find the holy grail of my race? I thought a grail would be less edible than this food. Now I know for certain that I should never inform Chrysalis of this. She’d absolutely find a way to ruin it.

So much love in a single swallow, is this food made purely out of love?

-Labium and Labrum-

“We are of a shared mind like you…” I started to say to the chimera, before my sister butted in. She even took a sushi roll from my plate and popped it into her mouth.

“We know what it’s like to share everything…” I didn’t want to be mean to my sister, but we’ve been doing this since forever. I let her take a sushi roll from my plate to make up for it.

“It can be a huge hassle.” We stated at the same time, our minds worked quite well together when it came to us the trumpet twins of The Shapeshifting Siesta.

“Yeah, it bothers us at times too.” As the goat head said this, we watched the one called Mara going to town face first in the gazpacho and after she swallowed the snake headed one let out a loud belch.

“Ugh, Mara don’t eat too fast, your making me snot!” The snake head looked like she needed some help and we decided to offer a napkin to rub her nose against. She did so and gave us a smile. “Thanks for that, when she eats too fast it causes me problems back here.”

“It’s so delicious with this fish sue-she stuff in it though.” We didn’t find a problem with the tiger head’s candor and we figured we could be friends through shared interest of being able to combine our minds.

-Big McLarge Huge-

The food is very good, wish I could tell them that.

“So… mute huh?” The suddenness of someone talking to me made me jump, it was the one known as Sekhet and she was consuming a lot of sushi rolls both fish and vegetable.

I simply nodded to her sadly.

“You’ve got some really good friends.” I smiled at her words of praise, her visage grew serious. “Take good care of them. Who knows when you’ll ever find something like what you have with them again if you lose them.”

I looked to Clypeus, he was my leader and something special to me. I would protect them as I was an unusually tough changeling who could play music just as well as the rest of the group. I showed the goddess my determination.

“Heh, that’s the spirit big guy.” She then continued eating without another word towards me.

-Tarsus-

“Do you guys have any alcohol around here?” I’m a blue changeling that look as I felt, a bit sad. At least I have my friends, even if I couldn’t be with my belle. Being a part of the band was all I had these days. I could still play good happy music, but I shined with more sorrowful sounding tones. “I want to drown my memories.”

“Not unless we have smugglers that I don’t know about, the town is clean of the stuff.” I believe she was the one called Jacky, why did I get pirate vibes from her. Maybe it’s the skull cap with the parrot skull and crossed bones on it.

“It figures.” I stated lethargically, it was just another day without her in my life. Even if the food is filled to the brim with love, all it is doing is reminding me of her. “What I wouldn’t do for some help, I can’t just sneak into Klugetown and try to ride off into the sunset with my belle.”

“Want to talk about it, I know a thing or two about bad luck.” How unlucky could this Jacky be compared to my hardships?

“Sure, why not… it all started with me buying a jar of pickles in that rat hole of a town. Though some rats are not nearly as ugly as some of the people who live there.” This is how I started weaving my sordid tale of how changelings got banned from Klugetown. “That’s an action that led me to meeting the belle of my life, the most beautiful shrew around...”

-Jade-

I had to stop eating to save room for dessert, I couldn’t miss that. It seemed like the changelings were actually enjoying the food, mom’s magical cooking did have unusual properties. Though simple stuff like this wasn’t exactly cooking, but it seemed to be having an effect all the same.

I had at least gotten mom to make sushi, so that was a win in my book even if I was the one that had to cut up the fish. Mom did chop up the vegetables for that, but the most cooking she did was for the linguini and the homemade soy sauce.

We were all enjoying the food together as friends, family and strangers, this is exactly the kind of thing I and mom wanted to build in Manehatten. A place for all walks of life, no matter how strange.

It wasn’t a minute later that a wide eyed Fizzle walked in and she took one look at me and turned straight red. This took up her entire face, neck and most of the front half of her body. She shyly looked away from me and went to get her fill of food before Sekhet would be allowed to unleash her full rampage.

We hardly ever had leftovers around here thanks to our garbage disposal unit named Sekhet.

I wondered what was up with Fizzle, she seemed very embarrassed about something. She eventually came over to me looking less red and nuzzled against me slightly.

“I'm sorry about almost suffocating you with our first kiss…” Fizzle's cheeks turned straight pink.

“It’s not a problem Fizzy.” I shrugged, I didn’t see it as a problem.

-Ten minutes later, Clypeus-

“Guys get your instruments, we're showing Mayor Kuril what we can do before they bring out dessert. Also we have a set date for our gig here!” My companions cheered gleefully, this actually might be a gig that didn’t go explosively wrong. We’re keeping it stupidly simple!

Once we got our stuff together, I pointed out to the twins to start playing and sent them a hoof signal for which music to start.

“Hello, we’re definitely glad to be here~. We’re certainly making a lot of new friends~!” I sang from my heart. “I’m glad that you invited us in without fear~. We’re The Shapeshifting Siesta of all lands~!”

“We’re certainly glad to meet you~. Even if some of you are really quite scary~!” The twins sang. “We’re quite sure this fact is true~. It’s that you’re all lovely and hairy~!”

“I don’t think I can sing~. About all that my friendships do bring~.” Sang Tarsus. “But if there’s one thing about that I’m quite sure~. It’s that we will never really get quite bored~!”

They played for a while.

Author's Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3w9vyHjy_8

I seek to wield my form of rampant insanity for a good cause! I can't let my imaginative side peter out!

Also the green sea turtle isn't just a sea turtle... it's a very smart sea turtle!

Apparently Kuril preparing any kind of food has a magical effect that can feed changelings.

Chapter Six, Mariachi Changelings: Snicker's great.

-One week later, Jade-

I hear a hissing noise and rolled over in bed without opening my eyes, the churros we had for dessert last week were just perfect. I spent the whole week happy.

“Marie, if that’s you, can’t whatever it is wait until morning?” After groaning that out, my response was to hear a hiss followed by a cooing noise.

My eyes opened, I almost flopped out of bed in shock at the green sea turtle being in my face.

I bit back the scream building in my throat, it was just a turtle. A turtle looking at me in an adorable and completely non-threatening manner.

“Oh, it’s you… how did you get on the bed?” The turtle just gave me a bright unassuming smile. “Look what do you want from me?”

The sea turtle hissed in a raspy manner, it seemed a bit parched.

“You’re thirsty and you want me to get you some water to swim in?” It pointed at me with a flipper and nodded, I sighed and threw the covers off of myself and opened the door. “How did you even get into my room?”

The sea turtle just smiled at me and held out its flippers to my rather tired and sleepy form. I wanted to continue sleeping, but the strange turtle needed me. I rolled my eyes and went back to pick her up, after placing her on my shoulder I started making my way down the corridor. I went right on by the rooms belonging to mom, Jacky and Fizzle.

I muttered grumpily as I went down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. The turtle on my shoulder chirruped happily that I was doing this at this time of… what time was it anyway? It was probably morning and Celestia had yet to move the sun.

I looked up at the waning moonlight shining through a window as I got a bowl out. It would be a while before the visage was off of the moon and when that happened, I would find out what Luna’s feathers do in comparison to her sisters. It was probably something to do with shadows, dreams or darkness knowing Luna.

I turned back to what I was doing, I wondered how the construction ponies installed plumbing out here so fast, probably used shortcuts with magic which explained the absolute need for unicorns.

“Would you mind if I got water from the sink?” Why was I asking this? I guess I was trying to be polite, but was it technically unnecessary in this situation.

The sea turtle shook that yes it minded, I sighed and searched around for a canteen of fresh water. I eventually poured some water into the bowl and looked at the happy turtle.

“Do you want salt with that water? I can get pretty salty since you disturbed my sleep for this.” The turtle shook its head no and pointed at the bowl. I rubbed my forehead and then slowly lowered the turtle into the water where it happily hissed as it swam small circles while taking large gulps of water.

I could honestly just go back to bed now and wake up later, but I was a little more than curious about the strange turtle. It was the weekend and I wanted to explore the surroundings around Airship Mauled with Jacky, Fizzle and maybe even Maries for added protection.

What I truly wanted was a little adventure, something more amazing and exciting. This was a world of magic and I was kind of stuck in the doldrums of having an average life. At least The Shapeshifting Siesta were amazing musicians and would be here all week even after taking care of Fizzle’s cuteceanera today.

Maybe they'd stick around. If they did then… we'd personally need an airship to get into Klugetown to help Tarsus find his beloved anthropomorphic shrew. I was tired of his whining and he had friends that could help him.

Or maybe… we could just steal an airship, but not the golden one the young Blueblood apparently owns. We needed something smaller and faster for the long journey.

A splash came from the bowl and I turned my head lazily to look at the turtle and I saw something unusual about it that I hadn’t seen before.

“What the…” The turtle swam to the edge of the bowl and smiled at me while cooing lightly. “Don’t you look at me innocently like that, just when exactly were you going to tell… er… show me those?”

The turtle waved a flipper at me in a friendly manner before waving to itself, as if this was showing me right here and now.

“Yes, yes, you’re showing them to me now. I get it, but it’s the principle of the thing!” I had assumed she was a normal sea turtle, I guess any assumptions in this world could be wildly off the mark. “What are you? If I didn’t know any better… I’d think you were a…”

-Cheerilee-

I could have lived in the inn, but I instead decided to have my sleeping quarters in The Witch’s Fare. I heard something strange going on and decided to investigate it, I groggily made my way downstairs where I saw the shadow of someone familiar in the dark.

It must be early morning, the glowing fish bones hanging from the ceiling were beginning to dim from the sunlight filtering into restaurant. Vaguely morbid décor aside, it was one of my students.

Jade was awake and she wasn’t wearing any clothing, not that it was important that she was as naked as I was.

I wondered what she was looking at. I moved forward slightly and saw it personally. Well… that certainly explains a lot about how the little sea turtle got around and popped up in strange places.

“What is going on here?” I jumped and turned to see Fresh Start the maid. I pointed over to what was going on in the dimly lit kitchen.

-Fresh Start-

It wasn’t just any sea turtle, it wasn’t even a normal one. I’ve only heard legend of a strange wondrously beautiful creature like it. I’m surprised that Cadence didn’t have one or even know what I was talking about when I asked her if she had one as a pet.

Apparently Jade had one as her pet and it was amazing that she even found it, they are very rare creatures.

I watched as Jade toy with the turtle for a bit and I smiled warmly. Where was a camera when you needed one? This was really cute to watch, to think Kuril complained that her daughter didn’t do adorable things.

Poor Mayor Kuril was missing her daughter playing with her odd pet that took residence with us.

Thinking about it... we had to do something! That turtle is probably a sacred creature and we needed to protect it from anyone who would want to harm it.

-Jade-

It was a sea turtle alright… just one that happened to come with wings. Yep, I couldn’t do normal for too long if I tried.

I got a little playful with it and the turtle kept bopping me on the nose in a cutesy manner. We did several playful things together between bouts of the turtle taking drinks of water. The green feathered wings were coming out of small flaps in the front part of the shell that raised up for them.

After it had tired of flying around the little sea turtle landed on my shoulder and it tucked its wings back into its shell. Rainbow Dash must never hear of this kind of animal before she gets a tortoise.

Now that I thought of it, I finally had a name for her and it’s based on something I liked.

“I’ve got a name for you, would you like to hear it?” I turned from the nodding turtle and was about to make for my room when I saw the two mares just staring at me. “Uh, you saw all that I take it?”

“Jade I don’t want to alarm you, but that thing is a rare creature called a…” I held up my left hand stalling Fresh before she could get started.

“I know what she is... were you about to say she’s a turtle dove?” It was quite literally a turtle with wings like that of a doves, it wasn’t that hard to figure out. Fresh Start’s reaction told me I was right about what the green sea turtle dove was.

“What’s a turtle dove?” Cheerilee asked mystified by the turtle clinging lovingly to my shoulder.

“It’s something I thought that Princess Cadence would know about considering their status as creatures of love.” Yes, Fresh Start, that’s what they were certainly known for.

If I remembered right, there was some mythology behind having one around you. Given how often mythology was used around here, I knew this bit of knowledge.

They are considered sacred creatures by goddesses of love, fertility and harvest. This adds more oomph to me being a sun priest than I would have liked, if this turtle dove was in fact what I thought it was to me.

I just ended up with a literal symbol of peace, friendship and love, which was to be expected given I was in Equestria, as a familiar. There is no other reason why it was following me around and chose me out of all the beings in the world to be friends with.

I wondered what Sekhet’s sister Bastet would have to say about the turtle dove. She was a goddess of fertility, so she’d probably know a thing or two about it. Maybe Sekhet herself knew and probably didn’t tell anyone, because she likely didn’t care since it was outside her purview.

The turtle tickled the fur on my neck and I giggled a bit, before glaring at the smiling turtle.

“Okay, you are now henceforth known as Snickers the green sea turtle dove.” I wondered why Ms. Start’s right eye was twitching so horribly.

“Are you seriously going to name a rare and sacred creature like that, of all things, Snickers?” The turtle glared at her before turning to me and nodding happily while clapping her flippers lightly together.

“She seems to like it, right Snickers?” The turtle nodded while smiling at me, before she sent a deathly glare towards Fresh. Wow, the turtle didn’t like Fresh for some reason. “I don’t think Snickers likes you putting her on a pedestal like that.”

“But… she’s a turtle dove Jade, do you know how rare her species is or what they are even capable of?” There goes Fresh’s hooves clasping her head, she's panicking slightly. “She needs to be in an aquarium and protected from those who’d want to hurt her!”

“Vaguely, in a sense yes, I think I do know what she can do.” My little turtle with the hidden wings could simply just be a smart animal or she could be some kind of magical creature that does something amazing. I didn’t care which it was. Snickers was a cool turtle with wings, she didn’t seem to care about being seen as anything special and I could get behind that. If she wanted to be treated like I normally treated her, then I would. “Do you want me to treat you any differently from the way I already have as a sacred, noble creature Snickers?”

Snickers shook her head no, I shrugged at Fresh Start.

“There you have it, she gets no special treatment just because she's a strange and rare creature that can disguise herself as a normal sea turtle. I’ll just continue treating her like I always have, as background noise. Though I may ask her to do a few favors for me from time to time, you okay with that Snickers?” The turtle chirruped and hissed happily from my shoulder as she rubbed her head against my neck. “Well, since I’m up already and given going back to sleep is not an option at this point... I guess I better get started on breakfast!”

“Really, you’re going to cook? I haven’t seen you cook before and…. wait a minute, I’ve still got to tell you about turtle doves and why you should take great care with one!” Look Fresh, I'm already here and I know how to cook given my mother runs a restaurant. You would think that I might have learned a thing or two, after all these years of being raised by mom. Snickers launched from my shoulder and dropped onto Fresh’s nose glaring at her in an angry manner. “I could just pretend that you’re not a turtle dove and not bother Jade?”

Snickers nodded seriously and flew over to me, all while cooing at me affectionately.

“You want to help Snickers, sure thing! Hey Cheerilee, you want to join us?” The teacher just looked between me and Fresh, she just shrugged and came over to me. “Grab some eggs, flour, salt, baking powder, sugar and whatever fruit you can find. I’m making omelets and waffles for breakfast. It’s about time mom took a break from cooking every day for all of the hungry mouths around here! Want to help mix the batter Fresh?”

“No, you just go on.” Fresh Start seemed very upset that Snickers didn’t like her.

“Come on Snickers, show her a little love. She’s not about to take you away from me and put you in an aquarium. I won’t let that happen and even if it eventually does end up happening, then I’ll just pull a ridiculously explosive jailbreak for you regardless of what anyone else wants.” The turtle hovered in front of me and seemed to mull it over, she then flew over to Fresh and begrudgingly rubbed up against her in a friendly manner.

“Thank you Jade, but I really don’t think Snickers likes me very much.” Okay I could see Fresh was somewhat sorry, but not completely.

“Look, if Snickers wanted protection and a safe life, then she could have stayed in the sea and well away from me.” After I said that, Snickers thrusted her right flipper in the air and agreed with me by making her own adorable noises to that effect. “Also don’t be a grump, find the waffle mallet and a spatula would you?”

“Fine, but I will need to bring this to Celestia’s attention when she eventually comes around.” She started searching for the waffling mallet that I wanted. In the meantime Cheerilee brought the ingredients for the waffles and omelets over to me.

“You go ahead and do just that Fresh, we’ll see what happens then.” The turtle hissed in agreement with me before hugging my shoulder protectively. “I don’t think Celestia would ever take a pet from their owner.”

Waffle mallets, for the fun kind of percussive breakfast options.

-Fizzle-

Something smelled good and delicious. I numbly walked into the restaurant portion of The Witch’s Fare while looking around for that wonderful scent.

“Sit down Fizzle, I’m covering breakfast today." It sounded like Jade was busy in the kitchen. "I’ll be with you in a minute, what do you want on your omelet?”

“Salt, pepper, onions and a small amount of bell pepper.” I just heard a grunt of confirmation as a clanging noise sounded from the kitchen. My cuteceanera today was going to be good, I can just feel it.

Minutes later, Jade walks out of the kitchen without clothes and my mind goes completely blank.

Chapter Six, Mariachi Changelings: Serendipitous Ding!

-Jade-

“Hello… Fizzle? Are you there?” At my words the pony blinked and continued to stare at me. Is it because I wasn’t wearing any clothes? She certainly didn’t act like this around Cheerilee or even Sekhet who wore very little. Tartarus, even The Shapeshifting Siesta were all nude and not a single reaction like this one. “Well here’s breakfast, eat up before it gets cold and get ready for your celebration. Our friends should be coming soon to help set up the party.”

The turtle on my shoulder made an exceptionally happy sounding noise when looking between me and Fizzle. Snickers was pointing at Fizzle and me while smiling brightly, I ignored Snickers and walked away to go quickly put some clothes on.

If Fizzle was going to act like me being nude was weird by being weird herself about it when she was mostly nude all the time, then I was going to let her quietly reboot her brain on her own time. I will admit that her entire body turning red was cute.

Lots of people went nude around here in Equstria, ponies practically form the biggest nudist colony in the world next to the zebras, griffons, sea ponies and hippogriffs. Technically Abyssinian’s were a clothes wearing race, but we didn’t really have a taboo on nudity or a lack of pants like minotaurs did.

-Fizzle-

Where was I just now? Oh food!

Hmm… this wasn’t made by Kuril, was it cooked by Jade? The omelet tastes good and… are those waffles with various bits of fruit? Then there are the bottles that were dropped off with breakfast, maple syrup and…

I just stared at the bottle of honey blankly for the next ten seconds while my mind rewound to something Jade said less than a minute prior while I was… staring.

Now I’m completely embarrassed about it and I don’t know why, I always see Sekhet and Cheerilee naked every day. Fresh Start is naked sometimes, but only to wash her maid uniform.

-Jacky-

I actually woke up on the right side of the bed today, I didn’t see what the joke was in that.

I got up, while straightening out my long black head feathers with my talons. Eventually I cleaned my teeth, polished my beak, braided my head feathers, checked my black and white plumage, straightened out and brushed my tail feathers and stepped out the door to come face to face with Jade leaving her room.

“Can’t talk, still making breakfast.” She was already on her way down the stairs. “Wake mom would you?”

“Aye, aye, Captain La Perm!” I opened the door to Kuril’s room and saw her curled up on her bed like any real cat would be when it came to sleeping. My Captain and her mother were adorable, but they were no less fierce for their friendly appearances. “Oy, Chief Cook, Jade says to get up! She’s got breakfast handled today.”

Lazily Kuril’s ears flicked and she got up on all four limbs and arched her back. It made a pop or two before she got off the bed. She eventually opened her eyes while going to get her robe and hat.

“Jade’s good at breakfast, but she doesn’t have my magical cooking ability.” Kuril lazily threw on her robes and her pirate witch hat before exiting the room in a sleepy daze. I followed to make sure she didn’t get hurt going down the stairs in this state. “I better go make some sandwiches for the changelings then.”

Fortunately she didn’t fall down the stairs, unfortunately I did and I passed by her slightly amused expression as I did.

“You okay there Jacky?” She said while smiling at me as she got to the bottom of the stairs.

“A bit bruised, but I’m fine Chief Cook Kuril.” I sat up and she patted me on the head before continuing on into the restaurant area to sit down next to Fizzle. She was a nice lady and she’s my captain’s mother, the captain of my captain even.

-Kuril-

“Morning Fizzle… waffles and omelets this time?” I received a very shy nod from Fizzle as she tentatively poured some honey onto a bit of fruit filled waffled before eating a bit. “It’s a good thing Sekhet keeps us supplied or else we would be having more problems.”

Like the fact that we lack an income, of which I’m surprised Celestia hasn’t thought about. We weren’t self-sufficient without Sekhet yet and we currently needed the goddess around to survive.

I wondered what was up with Fizzle, she seemed distracted. I was about to ask if she was feeling okay as she ate, but I was soon distracted myself by the clanging noise of Jade using the waffle mallet in the kitchen.

My tom cat shouldn’t swing it so hard, she might damage the mallet. Note to self: Test waffle mallet for sustain effect.

-Several hours later, Clypeus-

It’s been three months and Tarsus is still crying himself to sleep at night, though we can’t blame him for liking pickles or buying that jar. Heck, we don’t even blame him for loving that girl, we even wanted to help him and we really couldn’t do much.

“Thank you all for coming to the Fizzle’s cuteceanera! We, The Shapeshifting Siesta, will be playing while you get to enjoy the party.” I informed everyone who came to this party for the poor unicorn pony with the broken horn, she was still able to smile at least. Unlike Tarsus who was completely down in the dumps, which surprisingly didn’t affect his playing one bit. “We’ll enjoy ourselves after we’re done, so leave some of whatever Kuril made for us to snack on.”

We started a few warm up songs before we decided to go with the interesting show stopper. The song started with two grunts and me strumming my guitar slightly, repeat and then the song starts for real. Tarsus helping me sing it, one upbeat sad sack song coming right up!

We’d switch out instruments as needed, but Mr. Huge would be on the drums. Not everything we did was mariachi based and ponies weren’t the only ones who can start heart songs. Plus playing instruments make a song from the heart that much stronger.

“We’re going to, we’re going to go, and we’ll do something imbecilic~.” I started with Tarsus singing backup with me. “We’re going to go~!”

“We’re going to, we’re going to go, as we can’t do things that are tame~!” Tarsus sang out with me backing him, before one of the twins went solo with a trombone. Much to the surprise of the audience.

“We know, it’s my fault, that I’m missing my belle friend~.” Tarsus intoned alone sadly. “And you think, I’m alright, but I’m not man~.”

“Maybe, it’s too soon~. Though we don’t think it’s too late… but how can, we reverse Tarsus’s fate~?” The twins alternated singing with me using Tarsus’s voice while blasting their trumpets.

“You know it’s just not right~?” I felt badly for Tarsus and I thought a slightly upbeat depressing song would make him feel better.

“You met your girl man~.” The green Labrum sang.

“I fell in love that night~!” He was singing from the heart, the poor guy.

“She was a shrew and…~” The yellow Labium followed up.

“I just wanted to be with her, but then those thugs started coming in~.” Despite him keeping the tone of the song he was tearing up. “She was the one~, you guys!”

“So we’re going to, we’re going to go, and we’ll do something imbecilic~.” I leaned up against Tarsus while singing this. “We’re going to go~!”

“We’re going to, we’re going to go, and we’ll do some very violent things~!” I wish we could, but singing about it seemed to be helping. We were really bad at combat and we weren’t warrior changelings, we became musicians because it was what we were good at collectively.

A bit of music playing to keep the tune with my guitar, while the trumpet twins did their magic.

“Maybe I’m losing sight~.” Tarsus muttered loudly.

“She is your girl man~!” Sang Labium.

“You know we cannot fight~.” Tarsus wasn’t wrong, we couldn’t bring the same muscle those pigs could.

“Show some backbone and…~” Now it was Labrum following up.

“You know we’ll get slaughtered, before could get too far~. But I’m starting to wonder if~…” Tarsus continued to sing a bit dully, before his mood swiftly turned around. “If we can really do it~, you guys?”

We started to play an encore of the beginning of this song, but Tarsus seemed a little bit cheerier. The audience was cheering us on and the rhythm was good. Tarsus wasn’t going to stop lamenting until he faced his problems.

“Well I certainly know, that going back will definitely be certain death and it’ll be where I’ll meet my end~!” Tarsus seemed a bit braver. Pony land heart songs, you just got to love them even if they allowed you to sing dourly. “But I know, that I know, I don’t care if I can see my belle again~!”

“See her again~.” The twins intoned.

The music continued for a bit.

“Knowing if I fight~.” Tarsus sang serenely.

“You can do it man~!” The twins sang together.

“Even with all my might~.” Tarsus was probably the scrawniest changeling I’ve ever seen.

“We’ll make a plan and~…” The twins continued.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt for my sake, because all of you are my friends~.” Tarsus rubbed his eyes. “You guys are all my best friends~… so we’ll make them see what we’ve got, haha~!”

The rest of us idiots were smiling in Tarsus’s direction, even Kevin looked to be smiling slightly and we played one last round of the song.

“We’re going to, we’re going to go, and we’ll do something absolutely stupid~!” The four of us sang while Mr. Huge smiled towards the back of Tarsus’s head. “We’re going to go~!”

“I got to, I got to go, and find my lovely cupid~!” Among the band hovering above Tarsus’s head and flying small circles was a happy looking Snickers.

“We’re going to, we’re going to go, and get into something stupid~!” The four of us sang together. “We have to go~!”

“For us, we all kno-o-o-w, that it’s our fate~!” The band ceased playing and bowed at the stomping hooves and clapping appendages.

-A minute later-

“Were we singing that ironically or…” Tarsus started before I shoved my hoof in his mouth.

“Even if we die, at least we know we did it helping you.” I stated calmly, before I started shouting. “Most changelings don’t do that often enough for one another!”

“We can help you survive it.” We all turned to the one called Jade with her arms crossed and her tail flicking back and forth agitatedly. “We’re going to need an airship though.”

“Where would we find one around here, It’s not like one will just fall out of the sky here!” That was a little dramatic Tarsus, but… why is everyone suddenly scrambling to get away from the local goddess?

“Oh lovely queens, every changeling scramble!” I quickly yelled, we grabbed all our instruments.

The goddess just looked over her shoulder at the incoming shadow.

-Sekhet-

“I’m not moving from this spot, I’m just going to take it like the goddess of war I am.” I stated loudly just before the airship crushed the back half of my body. I unleashed an agonized yowl from my throat.

-Jade-

I offered to help because I wanted to see Tarsus fight for his love, but I also wanted to see Klugetown and learn a bit about the culture.

Wondering why this airship was crashing, I watched as it dug a furrow in the ground using Sekhet’s body as a plow. It was going more horizontal than down and that looked exceedingly painful for Sekhet. From what I could see the balloon was losing lots of air.

Hey, we have farm lands now! Good thing we held our cuteceanera away from the other buildings.

I calmly followed the trail of destruction until I saw the front half of Sekhet sticking out from under the airship and she looked quite moody.

“So… riddling whoever did this?" I received a flat stare from Sekhet as she spat out a mound of dirt and nodded, she was quite angry. "Because I and mom had absolutely nothing to do with this one and you know it!”

“See I managed to land it safely and nobody around here got hurt!” That scratchy voice sounded similar to Rainbow Dash’s, only older. It couldn’t be anyone else other than…

A pith helmet wearing pony with rose colored eyes poked her head over the side of the ship to look down at Sekhet’s visage glaring back up at her. Her monochrome colored mane told me immediately who this was.

“Are you okay Ms. Sphinx?” Fluttershy came over with Pinkie hopping along behind her, Rainbow didn’t get an invite and was doing other things with a griffon anyway.

"Just PEACHY." Was Sekhet's succinct reply.

“Correction, I just landed on a Sphinx and made her absolutely angry with me.” Well don’t look so sheepish about it, you managed to land the airship intact without breaking the keel on Sekhet’s spine. That takes some real talent I’ll have you know.

“Eh, it’s a common occurrence around here in Airship Mauled.” It was becoming one anyway, only this time the airship looked like it could take off again. The balloon losing air needed to be patched up a lot though. “Our goddess is practically airship magnet at this point.”

“Yes, make fun of my current misfortune why don’t you?” Sekhet started to dig her paws into the dirt, she was getting really good at digging herself out from under airships.

“Excuse me, but you owe our favorite local goddess an apology and to be asked at least one scathingly hard riddle.” The pony dropped down to meet us all on the ground and walked up to me with a curious gaze.

“Yeah… there’s no escaping an angry Sphinx until you let them give you a riddle. I know, I’ve tried. Can I just start of by saying that I’m completely sorry and that it was an accident?” The mare that had yet to introduce herself asked of Sekhet who finished pulling her body out from under the ship.

“You can, but you’re going to get two riddles, tough ones. If you can’t answer either of them, then we’ll take the airship.” I give Sekhet a look and she smiled at me, she was making the most of this situation it seems.

“Ugh... the Equestrian Artifact Association and Celestia are going to kill me if I get either one wrong.” Did we really need to ask if she borrowed the airship without permission?

“They won’t, there are worse things than death A.K. Yearling.” I whispered to her, she goggled at me.

“You know who…” The mares started.

“Yes, you’re Daring Do. Your accident is actually kind of helpful for us, we kind of need an airship that can still fly right now.” Please pick up on our need for this airship Daring, I silently beg of you. “Celestia hasn’t mentioned me yet has she?”

“No and since I hate winging it, I’ll take those riddles." Daring seemed to be as boisterous and proud as I thought she’d be. "I'm on my merry way to Mare-Akech afterwards.”

Author's Notes:

Sekhet's Airship Mauled counter: *ding* 3.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_v5f7S5xuw

I'm not going to make musical chapters a thing too often, they take a while to make.

Chapter Seven, Shrew-d Operators: Vacation plans.

-Sekhet-

“Quick question, what if I get one right and one wrong?” This Daring asked looking at me with suspicion.

“Good question, you’ll have to at least get my friends a ride to where they need to be if you get only one right.” I received a surprised stare from Priest Jade, mostly because I admitted that we were friends. “Yes, we are friends. Don’t take advantage of it.”

“Fine throw your first one at me, I’m ready for it sphinx.” You are so certain of yourself, I might just prove you wrong.

“Hey, wait a minute, I’m the captain of this vessel.” The griffon that said this dropped down next to Daring. “I should answer one of the riddles!”

“Will you let him answer one?” I just might get one by them.

“If he gets it wrong, then that’s on him.” That means Daring accepted only having to be responsible for one question.

“Once one of you answers, only the other may answer the next. Now for my first riddle.” I was a creature of riddles and I had quite a good one. “I can bring tears to your eyes. I resurrect the dead, Make you smile and reverse time. I form in an instant, but I last a lifetime. What am I?”

“Do you want to answer it Captain Grit?” Daring asked of the griffon. “I got nothing.”

“I know the answer to this one… it’s a memory.” The griffon got it right, now I turned to the one called Daring.

“He’s right. Now for the riddle you and you alone have to answer.” I had a devious one for her and I wondered she would get this one. “What is at the beginning of the end, the start of eternity, at the end of time and space, was in the middle of yesterday, but is nowhere in tomorrow?”

“Wow, that’s… that is a rather tough one.” Daring sat down to think. “Is there even an answer for this one?”

“If you know anything, then you know that I can’t ask a riddle that is completely impossible to answer.” There were even some dangerous emergency riddles for some people who really deserved it, I’ve never had to speak one of those. The answers were open invitations for a sphinx to attack if the person got the riddle right.

The real answer to one of those riddles, was to know that they were trick questions and to call the Sphinx out on them.

“Fine, is the answer a moment?” I thank you Daring Do, there goes my losing streak.

“You… are wrong.” I turned to Jade and addressed her with a toothy smile. “Okay Priest Jade, plan for your trip to help the love hungry bug with the grating depression problem.”

“So do we just drop them off? We can do that easily enough.” Yes, the penalty would be significantly easier on you griffon. I should have asked for more.

I wondered how they were going to get back from their trip. They were quite resourceful and I’m sure they’ll figure it out. I really didn’t want to be without Kuril’s cooking for too long after all.

-Jade-

“First we’re going to need a lot of water, we’re heading for a rather arid place.” I turned away from Sekhet and headed towards The Witch’s Fare to begin preparing. “We need someone here to look after our home and Sekhet, we’re also going to need some cloaks and to gather the magical alchemy ingredients.”

“So who’s going with us?” Jacky looked quite determined to go with me.

“I am for one, you are not going to Klugetown without my supervision my little tom cat.” It appears mom will be joining the trip.

“Then that means Fresh Start has to stay, we need someone around here that can cook. Cheerilee doesn’t need to go and I assume you’re staying here Sekhet.” I looked back at the goddess who nodded, following along beside her were Fluttershy and Pinkie.

“What’s Klugetown like?” You’ll eventually end up there if history somehow repeats itself Pinkie.

“It's a pretty bad place where everything has a price, you don’t want to go there unless you have an absolutely good reason to.” My mom knew about the place given it was to the southwest of Abyssinia. While the people of Abyssinia did trade with the people that lived there, they weren’t exactly big fans of what went on in the town.

“Yeah, but it won’t be a problem for us to get in and out in less than a week.” I received a hoof to my chest.

“I’m going with you to make sure you don’t get hurt.” It seems Fizzle was definitely on board with us.

“You already know I’m coming Captain, you can’t go on an adventure without me!” Jacky threw me a smile and a chipper salute.

“Do you want to come Maries?” If all my friends were coming, then it would definitely become a thing.

“No, we will stay here with the alpha of alphas and train to get stronger, we will consider traveling with you next time… friend.” Maries was still trying to find her place in our humble spot in the world, she quickly came up to me and I was slapped in the face by two different tongues at the same time. At least Marie held back and just nuzzled me a bit. “We will also protect the den.”

“Okay, so that’s mom, Fizzle, Jacky and me that are going on a dangerous adventure. Well let’s go get prepare for it, come on!” I clapped my hands together and stopped to look at the remains of Fizzle’s cuteceanera. “After we’re done cleaning things up.”

“Hey, leave that to me and Fluttershy!” Pinkie wrapped a hoof around Fluttershy, the poor older filly tried to break free from her grasp. “We’ll clean things up here, you go get ready for your adventure and bring back a neat story like you did with Jacky and the pirates!”

“Fizzy, grab what we might need to take aside from water and cloaks, I’m talking things like alchemy ingredients or clothes. Jacky, help them fix the balloon.” Fizzle nodded and was immediately off, Jacky turned around and went for the airship. I finally turned to the six Changelings still with me. “Tarsus has to come, but will the rest of you be staying here?”

“We’re family, of course we’re going!” Despite Clypeus’s strong answer, Kevin took a step away from the group. “Tarsus is not facing this alone.”

“I choose to go my own way, I may visit again some time for more love filled food. I wish you luck.” With that Kevin, the friendliest love taking changeling next to a guy named Thorax, started to leave. It made the other changelings slightly upset. “It is logical that you will come back alive, please don’t prove me wrong. I would be… upset.”

I guess that was his way of saying that while he cared, he wasn’t willing to go that much farther with them. This would explain why he wasn’t already a colorful changeling yet like the other five. He wasn’t willing to be a true friend yet or even share his earned love.

-Fizzle-

Let’s see here, I have the cloak I got from Jade. We need to get three more, unless some of Kuril's robes come with hoods. Starting simple we’ll take the packs with some clothes, Jade will want to take her knife of course.

I was thinking we take ten griffon feathers, eight phoenix feathers and two raven feathers. We really didn’t have much here aside from food and each other. It was a nice and quaint way of living.

I’m sure Kuril and Jade can make up the lack of helpful ingredients by picking up stuff nobody else wants. Why do I suddenly feel like the two most important people in my life are kleptomaniacs?

The feathers will be split evenly between Jade and Kuril, I’ll take Jacky’s sword and practice my imbuing on the way to this Klugetown and Jacky will need something to protect herself with. Kuril and Jade both almost constantly wore their fish scale necklaces, except this morning when Jade was…

Right, where was I and were my cheeks clenching again? I can’t really look at honey, much less eat flowers, without thinking about it thanks to Kuril. Knowing Kuril and Jade could take care of themselves, I worried more about Jacky’s luck popping up and causing problems for her. So we'd be looking for something she can use on arrival.

I was going to actively take part in this adventure and I wasn’t going to let Jade get injured. This whole thing was all for a shaky cause, because who knows what Tarsus’s queen bee was getting up to at this point and if she even still cared for the changeling.

I'll pack a jar of pickles anyway.

-Jacky-

I was going to work on the ship, patching the balloon wouldn’t take too long and we could get going by this late evening.

“Thank you for saving my ship, I don’t expect you to pay extra and I will still get you into Mare-Akesh. That is, if you still want that. What you do from here is up to you.” Mr. Grit was talking to Daring Do and I listened in while carefully patching the balloon. “Like what they do when we drop them off will be entirely up to them. We only have to get them there, nobody said that we have to bring them back.”

“Still, can’t we stick around for a while to find out what they are getting into?” It sounded like Daring might actually want to help us in our endeavors, it was either that or she was curious as to why we were going there. “I’m sure I can find some artifacts in this Klugetown place.”

“That may be true, but there are criminals and scum all over that town. If you get caught, don’t expect me to come rescue you from being auctioned off to the highest bidder.” Grit didn’t seem like he wanted to stick around and wait for Daring if she decided to follow us into town. “You either get dropped off at Mare-Akesh or you stay in Klugetown, choose one as we’re not sticking around for you to go search the black market there for stuff. I’m not about to endanger my crew again so soon, even if I am part of the EAA.”

“I’ll… think on it.” Daring turned away spreading her wings and shot off towards The Witch’s Fare as Mr. Grit came over to me.

“You seem to know you’re way around patching a balloon.” Giving the adult griffon a smile, I answered him in a friendly manner.

“I was raised by pirates for most of my life, so I know a thing or two about sailing in the air or sea.” Adventure was in my blood and my Captain was going on one. I was quite excited to be going as well, since this would be really fun. “I just haven’t gone far from home, until I came to live here in Airship Mauled.”

“Why not?” Grit gave me a concerned look. “Also, I would have expected a grimmer looking parrot from someone who was raised by pirates.”

“The reason why I haven’t gone far is because I was trapped there for a while. I simply prefer to be a more romanticized version of pirate, that being those who are free to go where they will. I’m not a bad person at all despite the way I was raised on Turtle Toga.” Continuing to stitch up holes in the balloon, I chirped cheerily at finishing another patch. I knew there was one thing tying me down and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I might eventually wander to look for some handsome male companionship, but I’ll always come back to my Captain’s side. “I’m not entirely free though, I’m tied to my Captain who got me out into the world. So don’t go expecting me to call you anything other than Mr. Grit.”

“So you’re a loyalty almost beyond all reason kind of girl eh?” Mr. Grit chuckled at me. “You do realize that Turtle Toga is a myth and completely unplottable?”

“Yes and I don’t really need to go back to my place of birth for any reason, but anyone who’s been there at least once can eventually find it again.” I didn’t care if he knew this information, it wasn’t like he could use it. “It’s just quite difficult to do, even if you have been there.”

“Huh… I should probably tell EAA that.” You know, one would think Mr. Grit would have been a little less friendly for a griffon. He must be a more sociable from spending so much time in the presence of ponies. “They've been looking into it for a while now, are you certain it exists?”

“I’m breathing proof and my Captain will back me on that, because here she comes now.” I waved over the side at Jade and she looked up at me, she and Fizzle were carrying a large barrel of water for the trip. “Hey, Captain! Does Turtle Toga exist?”

“Of course it does, but we don’t have a reason to go back yet. Can somebody help us haul this heavy barrel of water up?” Since I was free for the moment, I went to grab some rope to help Captain La Perm out.

-Jade-

“You’re a captain?” The griffon asked looking a little confused.

“No, she just calls me that since I’m the one that got her off of Turtle Toga.” I and Fizzle waited for Jacky to do whatever it was she was going to. “I’m a rogue and sun priest, which together makes me a rogue sun priest.”

“A sun priest?! Does Celestia know you’re here?” Giving Grit a lazy stare, I just rolled my eyes.

“She knows I’m here, I’ve been here for quite a while at least.” For once, I decided to ask about the subject. “Is there anything important I should know about being a sun priest?”

“Only that you should have a moon priest for your protection.” What he said was news to me, I had no such protection detail. “I’m guessing there’s a thestral somewhere around here?”

“Nope.” Popping the P as I said that, I just gave him a lazy look as Jacky dropped some rope for us to tie around the barrel.

“What is Celestia thinking!? Do you know how many beings out there would want to get their hands, claws, hooves, talons or even tentacles on you?” The griffon was staring at me with worry, I just gave him a shrug. “Of course you don’t, there’s also those who would just outright kill you! How have you lived for this long?”

“I’m thinking it’s the obscurity of living here, that no one has said much about my status as a sun priest and I’m also friends with a war goddess. I’m clearly still being called a priest by said goddess, so it must mean something at least.” Though there wasn’t exactly much happening just because I’m a sun priest and it hasn’t been a real issue yet. “We’re not exactly on any maps and I don’t think Celestia has loose lips about when I visited her in Canterlot.”

“You went to Canterlot… and you're still alive…" Grit slapped his talons against his forehead. "Why am I not surprised?!”

Author's Notes:

Magical Alchemy list.

1. Fish Bones (simple).

Cast: Water breathing (Temporary passive water terrain survival buff). Breathing water as if you had gills, permanence can be achieved with repeated casts.

Sustain: Swimming efficiency and deep water survivability increases.

Self-Sustaining: Luminescence. Once used as a sustain effect, bones glow softly on their own.

2. Fish Scales (simple).

Cast: Fish Scale Skin (Temporary defense buff). Possible permanence with multiple casts, more effective underwater. Can be used to water proof objects.

Sustain: Water Projection (Continuous offensive ability). Able to spit or project volatile volumes of water, drains fluids from body with excessive use. You can actively control the volumes of water you project and how focused that projection is.

Sustain 2: Blood Projection (Dangerous offensive ability). Capable of performing a powerful projection, but only from open wounds. As one would imagine blood projection is exceedingly painful, taxing on the body and ultimately dangerous to the user. The intimidation factor might be worth the agony in the right situations, but it will always be a detriment to one’s health.
Self-Sustaining: None.

3. Raven Feather.

Cast: Survive a fall, fall on something safely or possibly target launches and falls on something by user’s choice or at random (One time air terrain survival buff, possible offensive spell). Target tends to end up freezing twenty feet above something living.

Sustain: Projecting thoughts. Not able to receive thoughts, but you can project them to others.

Self-sustaining: none.

4. Sunlight.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Smoke signaling. Causes smoke to appear as if something was burning.

Self-sustaining: Warms the planet.

5. Knife.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Rogue Enhancements (Continuous passive buff). Heightened dexterity, agility and environmental awareness. Strengthens all mobility based buffs.

Sustain side effect: Inability to sleep or relax.

Self-sustaining: Trains muscles and exercises body for similar maneuvers used while wielding the sustain effect.

6. Knife Sheath

Cast: Traps one target temporarily (One use support spell). Time limit for stopping a target is the same every time for sheaths of similar design. Sheaths for different or larger weapons ‘probably’ improves time limit.

Sustain: Increased protection against knives, arrows and other small bladed weapons (Continuous passive buff). Warning: Does not protect against anything larger, or anything else for that matter.

Self-sustaining: None.

7. Alicorn Feather (Celestia).

Cast: Wings of sunlight (Limited air terrain mobility buff). Target is given wings of pure sunlight. Darkness, shade or shadows can weaken the flying power the wings generate, at night they'd be far less effective. The power of the wings can be combined with a knife's or similar sustain effects for improved flying ability. The wings might be extinguished by water and could be useless while it’s raining. Does not protect the user from gravitational or high speed stress and lack of oxygen at high altitudes like a pegasus would be by their magic.

Sustain: Redirect sunlight (Defensive support buff). Is only useful during the day and allows for blinding opponents or aggressors with light.

Self-sustaining: Minor protection from darkness (Automatic defensive buff while feather is on person). Needs to be charged with sunlight and to have been used as a magical alchemy sustain at least once to work.

8. Phoenix Feather.

Cast: Cleansing Flames (Support healing spell). Finds and stops negative foreign bodily ailment or ailments that are magical or mundane, does not heal damage. Can possibly stop positive ailments.

Sustain: Protection from the cold (Continuous defensive buff). Immunity to cold, increased defensive ability against ice and relative elemental based magic.

Self-Sustaining: None.

9. Jade’s Cloak.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: ???. (Effect seems to do nothing, need more information.)

Self-Sustain: Makes sneaking easier (Moderate stealth buff).

10. Cupcake (Banned by Kuril).

Cast: You don’t want to know.

Sustain: Likely none.

Self-Sustain: Delicious.

11. Frog Mucus (Banned by Kuril).
Cast: Magical wide area sticky substance bomb (Hard to get out of clothing).
Sustain: ???.
Self-sustain: ???.

12. Griffon Feather.

Cast: Feather Falling (Limited air terrain support buff). Lowers gravity’s effect on an individual for a minute.

Sustain: Double Jump (Continuous Mobility buff). Can jump off the air one extra time after leaving a solid surface and only one time.

Self-sustain: None.

13. Fish Oil.

Cast: Ignition (Multipurpose offensive and support spell). Ignites itself and anything around it except the user.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

14. Candle Wax.

Cast: Stiffness. Slow down a target, can have a wide area of effect for reduced effectiveness.

Sustain: Heat resistance (Limited continuous defensive buff). Does not stop heat damage entirely and candle takes heat damage in place of the user.

Self-Sustain: None.

15. Pepper.

Cast: Sneezing cloud (Limited continuous Defensive spell). Wide range spell that doesn’t affect the user, causes continuous sneezing on contact and doesn’t necessarily need to be breathed in to take effect.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

16. Tricorne.

Cast: Charisma boost (Limited status buff). Gives one the ability to walk around with confidence.

Side-effect: May instill need for showboating in user.

Sustain: ???.

Self-Sustain: ???.

17. Wood.

Cast: Bark skin (Temporary defensive buff). Make skin and fur tough like tree bark, like most casts can become permanent with multiple consecutive uses. Increases durability of objects when targeted. Causes mildly uncomfortable chafing on a living target.

Sustain: Hair growth in sunlight (Limited utility effect). Only works in direct sunlight.

Self-sustain: Magically enhanced building material.

Combination 1: Candle Wax + Oil (any) + Pepper = Chaos Candle. Candle hollowed out and filled with the other two ingredients mixed together equals devastating results.

Cast: Sneezing flash bomb (Offensive one use spell). Blinding, sinus wrecking and volatile magical cast.

Sustain Cast: Weak jet propulsion device (Limited air terrain support buff), Flamethrower (Limited offensive spell). Doing this will slowly destroy the candle and chemicals used in it. Exhaust fumes has a lesser effect of casting with pepper.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

Combination 2: Feather + stick + arrowhead (material any) = Arrow. Arrow + poison = special status ailment added to casting effect based on poison used. Pukwudgie Poison (Paralysis for a few hours).

Cast: Arcing Arrow Beam (Offensive spell). Fires a beam that is effected by gravity as if it were an arrow, it can only damage one target and that’s the first thing it touches. If it grazes a wall and then hits you, it will do nothing to you.

Sustain Cast: Spray of multiple weaker beam shots.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

Chapter Seven, Shrew-d Operators: Scouting plans.

-???-

A figure in a cloak was up on the shaft leading to some windmill blades and another cloaked figure looked up at them from below.

The second figure watched as the first figure was doing something to the shaft the windmill blades were attached to.

“What are you doing Jade?” The cloaked figure turned to the cloaked pony.

-Jade-

We had arrived in Klugetown safely enough. Mom and Jacky were out scouting a portion of the town and so were we. Fizzle didn’t like this place and I don’t blame her, I didn’t like it either.

“If I’m right, then it’ll be something you’ll look back on years from now and you’ll remember me doing this.” I snickered at Fizzle as I checked the base of the windmill blades themselves and smile. “You, are going to be so mad at me for this later.”

“Why would I ever be mad at you Jade?” She gave me a worried look.

“You’ll only be mad, if it actually happens.” I received a confused look, which I just returned with what I hoped was a heartwarming smile at her. “Just remember me if you do come back here and it does in fact happen.”

“What will happen?” Fizzle asked of me looking a little on edge.

“Eh, you’ll know it when you see it Fizzy. It’s not important, or even anything to worry about right now.” Yep, nothing important to worry about at all, just something that might be of interest in the far flung future.

-Tempest Shadow, approximately seven years from now. The future that refused to change.-

“Get her, now!” I felt my eyes light up and my horn sparked, there was something very familiar about this place.

“You going to be scared now ponies!” Grubber the little rotund sugar swallowing hedgehog said from beside me. He was annoying, but despite that I think we’d always be friends. He was quirky like that and he wasn’t even remotely evil in any given way. In fact, he was highly incompetent and I sorely needed that.

Wait, was one of my storm creatures grabbing… windmill blades?! I… I couldn’t say anything about it. I just… I had to keep going. I couldn’t lose composure here.

“Grubber watch the cat for a minute, don’t let him out of your sight.” I went outside and headed towards the nearby rock wall. “I have something important to do.”

I looked over my shoulder to make sure nobody was watching. They were all likely distracted by the windmill blades carrying the six ponies and little dragon away, entirely across town and completely out of our grasps to the docks.

We’d never catch up to them, to think that two of those ponies were my friends. I hoped they were okay.

I slammed my hoof into the rock wall, I even cracked it a bit. Closing my eyes, I clearly felt my tears spilling from them. I… I wasn’t angry… with you… never… actually, I was laughing. Why was I laughing this hard about the Princess of Friendship getting away? Why was this so funny to me? I had to calm down, I… I couldn’t be seen acting hysterical like this.

“It seems you were wrong about this… I didn’t get mad.” Having regained some composure, I had to deal with that blue haired Abyssinian. He wouldn’t tell me the truth about where they were going, I just know it. Still, I was going to ask him anyway and possibly be purposefully led astray.

Darn it Jade, you knew this would happen you… you lovable, beautiful, fluffy, math challenged idiot!

I missed you dearly, I know everyone else does too... so where are you?!

-Fluttershy-

I pulled Pinkie over to the corner of the storage space and looked to her worriedly.

“Pinkie, why do you think Fizzle is really doing all this?” I whispered trying not to be too loud.

“That’s not Fizzle, silly. That mean pony is Tempest Shadow.” She whispered back to me. “They are completely different ponies Fluttershy, shame on you for thinking otherwise.”

Either you were in complete denial Pinkie, or you knew something that I didn’t. Rainbow doesn’t recognize her either. Then again, I don’t think Rainbow has ever actually seen Fizzle’s broken horn before.

It has been a few years since I became the element of kindness, I haven’t exactly visited Airship Mauled in all this time or have really talked to all my other friends there.

Did I and Pinkie… did we forget them? Some friends we are.

-Approximately seven years prior in Klugetown, Fizzle-

Jade just dropped down in front of me and I gave her a sardonic look. I’m going to remember this location why? It’s not like I was ever going to have any reason to come back here to this place.

“Jade, aren’t we supposed to be asking around about Merriami Sorex?” It seemed to me like Jade was putting things off to play tourist. That was the name of the shrew we came here to find on Tarsus’s behalf after all and Jade was goofing off and doing strange things at this pointless windmill. “All we’re doing is goofing off. I don’t mind that we’re spending time together, but aren’t we supposed to be helping someone here?”

“No need to rush things, that’d just be drawing attention to ourselves my dear Fizzy. Besides, I’m smarter than that and we haven’t been goofing off.” She looked at me with a smirk on her face. “We ask questions about Ami directly and you can bet we’ll be in trouble before the day is out, especially with whoever has her. We don’t want people to start following us around or back to our camp to be ambushed. You’re the one that thought to grab a large tent from Ponyville before we left, that was a good call. Now use that wonderful brain of yours here Fizzy.”

“Then why have we been just walking all over the town aimlessly to look at things?” This place was in the middle of an inhospitable desert and was swarming with the most horrible people I think I’ve ever had the misfortune to see.

“It hasn’t been aimless. Unlike you, I’ve actually been listening to the conversations going on around here to get a scope of the land and the people in it.” Wait, was that why Jade stopped at that horn shop and stared at those horns for a while? I shivered in disgust. If it had been for a good reason, then I was willing to swallow my bile and hear Jade out. “Apparently the current local crime boss is apparently a big pig called Gonnan. This is someone I can’t deal with directly who’s got both size, muscle and numbers on us and I already know the name of his mob’s main enforcer Lin. They are not anyone we want to mess with.”

“What does that have to do with why we’re here?” That seemed like really inconsequential information to me.

“I’m getting to that. Have a little patience Fizzy, you’re going to need it eventually. I know the perfect place to get information on Ami. It just happens to be in the middle of the big pig’s territory.” Now Jade was making me a little worried, how would she know what’s the place to get the best information on our goal? “We’re just up here to see how the pigs around here are patrolling the streets, we’re going to need to know this later. Also what times they’ll be patrolling any particular street and how they move when alerted to trouble.”

Jade pointed off into the streets below and I saw two pigs wielding spears, they stopped to talk to one another.

“How do you think Jacky and your mother are doing?” I take it this would eventually lead us to Merriami.

“Pretty well, this isn’t an entirely despotic regime, but the pigs have definitely corner the market on real estate around here.” Jade crossed her arms and leaned against the wall behind her. “So they can talk freely about some things, but I warned them to never mention Merriami out loud anywhere. We’ll meet up with them outside of town at the campsite, after we scout the place I want to go to and we’ll ask the right questions there.”

“What place would that be?” Call me curious, but Jade was being rather cagey about things or what she was doing up on the windmills shaft.

“The only, beyond my very disbelief, truly clean bar in all of Klugetown!” She pointed out a section of the town that looked vaguely nicer than the rest of this dusty dump we found ourselves in. “The pigs apparently like their alcohol. Alcohol creates both problems and loose lips, I hate the stuff personally.”

The way Jade talked about alcohol, it sounded like she had a bad personal experience and Kuril didn’t seem to like the stuff either. So was Jade’s other parent abusive and that’s why they weren’t around? Kuril seemed rather tight lipped about things involving Jade’s father.

“Well come on Fizzy, it’s getting late and we have a bar to go to. I heard someone talking about the guards celebrating something.” Jade started for the stairs and I followed, why did I feel a sense of dread about going to the bar?

We quietly made our way away from the windmill she tampered with, I quickly forgot about it as it seemed unimportant.

-Jade-

It was getting late and we were approaching the outside of the bar, it was called The Whole Hog. Walking inside, I saw that we weren’t the only ones to come here. Sitting in the back corner were Jacky and Mom, they looked to be quietly discussing something.

“There’s mom and Blackcap, go over to them and tell them I’m about to start something that’ll give me a chance to talk to the bartender without any ears listening in on our conversation.” Fizzle looked at me and I made a gesture for her to go. “Don’t worry, I won’t be hurt. Just stay out of the fighting and everything will be okay. I’m not even going to be scratched by any of it.”

“If you’re sure…” Looking away from me, Fizzle made her way over to mom and Jacky in the corner.

I went up to the bar and sat down.

“Hello there, nice establishment you have here.” The lizard behind the bar gave me a flat look.

“What do you want cat?” The lizard looked to be of the frilled variety, said frill was orange, black and a little bit yellow. He looked to be quite clean compared to all the slightly grungy patrons he had in the bar.

“I’m Jade La Perm and I want to ask you about your bar here, it’s… a bit too nice for the area it’s in.” He winced at my words and I knew I was on the right track.

“You could definitely say that, Chlam King. I’m the owner of The Whole Hog.” He nodded to me with a suspicious glance. “Is there something you needed from me specifically Jade? You don’t look old enough to drink and I know Abyssinians.”

“I’m not good sir, thank you for noticing and not offering me a drink. I despise alcohol.” He gave me a curious glance for saying that. “I would like to ask if you would like to dirty up your establishment and are being prevented from doing so.”

“I’m not liable to discuss such a thing.” He said calmly while glancing around the bar at the clean alcohol swilling pigs. Pigs were actually very clean animals, they just needed mud and water to stay cool. The pigs here could actually sweat and were much cleaner.

“So you’ve never had a brawl in your bar before?” He froze up and gave me a sad look. “Not much of a real rough and tumble place Klugetown.”

“You’d be wrong about the rough and tumble part, but the pigs are too well organized even while drunk to start a fight in my establishment.” I could see a gleam in his eyes as he wiped a glass clean.

“Bartender, I need some honey mead over here!” The pig at the end of the bar slammed his empty mug down.

“I’ll be right with you sir!” Chlam turned to me and smiled slightly. “If you could get a bar brawl going in here, I would appreciate it. It’s really quite impossible though, their camaraderie is too strong for that.”

“We’ll see about that… hold his drink back, because challenge accepted! Just give me the information I need when I do get the fight going. I don’t want any ears here to hear what I want to know.” I poked the bartender in the chest while speaking softly as I got up off my stool, I picked up said seat and held it aloft. “Attention everyone! I would like to proclaim that if a chair is thrown in a bar, a fight will inevitably break out regardless if it hits anyone or not as long as it goes more than a foot away from the thrower.”

“Pahaha… you think throwing that stool will really make us all get into a fight, do you know who we are?” The pig at the end of the bar in the tough guy jacket squealed with delight at my proclamation. “This bar has never had any fights, ever! So go ahead and throw that stool and see what happens. If you hit one of us, we’ll all just gang up on you and afterwards we’ll just continue drinking our fill.”

I gently tossed the stool, it didn’t go very far. Now for my horrible math skills to be useful for a change.

“There you have it, I threw the stool exactly one foot away!” I sat on the neighboring stool, put my elbows on the bar and steeple my fingers while giving the bartender an amused look.

“What was that in aid of?” I held up a finger at Chlam in a waiting gesture and resumed the steeple finger position.

“Pahaha… that’s your ploy to get us to fight, the stool didn’t go more than half a foot!” The pig at the end of the bar stated.

“I saw it make three fourths of a foot!” Another pig shouted, and thus the setting up of the dominoes began.

“What are you blind, it only made it a quarter of a foot!” All the pigs were drunk so distance would be hard for any of them to judge as they were.

“If you’re blind, then I’m definitely seeing it as having gone more than a foot and a half!” Several pigs got up and started generally talking about how far I threw the stool, it then started getting heated.

The pig at the end of the bar even got into it and tried to break them up, then I threw the match on the powder keg I just started.

“Seriously guys, it’s exactly one foot three inches.” I said lazily, they glared at me and I leaned back with a warding gesture.

“It is not, it’s exactly one foot!” That’s when the first punch was thrown, then all the pigs in the bar started brawling.

I turned my seat back to the amazed bartender with a calm, canary eating smile. I basked in the chaos going on behind me.

“So, what do you need to know Ms. La Perm?” A happy Chlam King asked me.

Chapter Seven, Shrew-d Operators: Meeting plans.

-Kuril-

Fizzle came to sit with us and told us what Jade was up to, I sighed and shook my head. I and Jacky were talking about what we saw, what we heard and what we think is going on in this town.

“Why did the Captain do all of that and how did a fight come out of it?” Anyone could see that Jacky was a bit excited about the bar brawl going on and I had several hunches as to why my little tom cat did that.

“I know why she did it, it’s really quite easy to understand. I think she just helped one of the less visible factions of this city with her actions. The pigs are the largest faction and the bartender is obviously in someone else’s pocket. Jade just helped him out and now they’re trading information with one another.” I could see Jade talking fast and the bartender was talking equally fast while sending glances at the brawlers every now and then, he was looking out for when they eventually stopped. “She’s actually live action roleplaying right now, we’ve had quite a few Ogre’s and Oubliettes games based around a town of thieves’ scenario. How she caused the fight is simple, she got someone to agree with her original assessment. Somebody didn’t like that she changed her mind and someone didn’t like it at all when they agreed with her about it being exactly one foot.”

“What’s rather interesting is that she threw the stool away from herself so that its length is at least within a foot of all their answers.” Don’t look so confused Fizzle, that’s how you start a bar brawl the smart way without having to resort to violence personally. She could have still started a bar brawl by hitting someone with the stool, but my daughter would have been on the wrong end of a thrashing. Jade had backed out correctly.

“She let them all build up to it too, that’s my girl and I wouldn’t exchange her for a pretty princess version of her on any day.” I was quite proud of Jade, she managed to start a bar brawl without investing herself in it personally. She wasn’t being attack by all the pigs currently beating the literal snot out of each other. “She’s much more interesting as she is anyway.”

“I can’t imagine Captain being a pretty princess… eugh…” Jacky looked like she was about to throw up, even I was beginning to see the merits of having a complete tom cat for a daughter. “The thought gives me a shiver in my timbers and that’s not even an actual pirate saying. It could just be the piece of wood digging into my side.”

Jacky picked up a small plank of wood she had found lying around at the shipyard and docks, we needed an airship and there were a few around we might have been window shopping for. This was when Jade took Fizzle sightseeing around the city. I really wanted to see those two go on their first date together, that’ll be so adorable to watch.

It would do as a weapon in a pinch, but I wasn’t going to let Jacky rely on it. I wasn’t about to let any of my girls get hurt by anyone if I was around to do something about it. I had a waffle mallet and I knew what its sustain did. I wonder if my daughter would start using it or if it would be my main weapon, magic users did tend to use magical cudgels as weapons. A hammer was a cudgel right?

Jade suddenly got up and skirted around the fighting with a small smile and made her way over to us, she sat down quietly and rested her chin on the table and her whiskers twitched imperceptibly. She had certainly found out about something interesting.

“Did you find out where Merriami Sorex is Jade?” She lifted her head and nodded to me with a grin on her face.

“I did, apparently Mr. King really doesn’t like the pig crime faction being in his bar. We need to go back to the changelings and have them scout the city patrols from the air tonight. We’ll check and see if Ami is where she is said to be some time tomorrow. The bartender is going to tell his ‘friends’ that a fight took down a number of the pig enforcers. The number of guards will be a bit light tomorrow.” Jade moved closer to Fizzle and wrapped an arm around her. “In other news, thank to my actions, the rats, moles and several other factions are going to be on the move soon. The pigs here were celebrating their boss’s anniversary of taking over Klugetown. The big pig Gonnan has too much of a monopoly on things around here and the crime boss for the shrews wants his daughter free…”

“Now I know why you think it’s important to walk around and listen to the people.” Fizzle nuzzled up against Jade and they looked so cute together, I give it another second before Fizzle catches on to what Jade just said. “Wait… Merriami is part of a crime family here?!”

“Quiet down Fizzy. That’s just the kind of trouble that Tarsus has involved himself with, it’s on him whether he wants to continue pursuing this. Merriami is actually a good girl, in the same sense that our Jacky here is.” My daughter apparently got all that she needed from her quick discussion with the bartender. Jacky is a good girl, but she’s willing to lie, steal and cheat if it means helping us, and she’d do it without regrets. “She’s not exactly into the family business so to speak, but she certainly knows about it and we’ve got a meeting with the boss of the local shrews. Tarsus needs to join us for that tomorrow morning.”

“Well come on then, all we have to do now is exit the bar calmly without drawing attention to ourselves.” I stood up and waited for the others, they followed me past the pile of groaning, pummeled pigs and out of The Whole Hog bar.

We quietly made our way down the street and Jade stopped to look behind use and was acting a bit paranoid. Even I was feeling some paranoia myself, everything in Klugetown has a price and Jade might not have paid enough for the information she received.

“Did you two hear anything about the lizard faction?” Jade asked of us, she was unsure about the bartender then.

“A bit, I heard they were trying to stay neutral.” Well Jacky did leave my sight a few times while we were at the airship docks, so I wasn’t so surprised to hear that she heard something while I was looking into ships we could possibly steal.

My daughter sighed with relief as we exited the town watching our backs.

-Tarsus, campsite-

I was so worried about my belle, Merriami Sorex was a beautiful shrew and I was idly eating a pickle in memory of her. Sharing the love was all well and good, but I wanted to share mine with someone special to me. I was afraid of going into town, but I would still do it if they didn’t return soon.

We heard someone coming and four cloaked figures approached the campsite some way down below Klugetown and hidden among the rocks near the walkway leading into town.

“Did you find her, is she okay?” I was up and running over to them immediately.

“Calm down, we know where she might be.” At Jade’s words I sighed with relief, it seems she was as professional a mercenary as she tried to sell herself as. I don’t know what I can do to pay any of them back. “But there are a few… complications.”

Huh… there’s something wrong with my belle?

“W-what is it?” My friends came over to me when they heard a tremor in my voice, we had all been relaxing and waiting. We had even did an a-cappella or two while we waited.

“First of all, did you know that Merriami Sorex is the daughter to the head of a crime family?” Fizzle seemed more than a bit mad at me.

“No, but I don’t care. I want to help her if she’s in trouble!” Even if she was the daughter of a crime family boss, I couldn’t care less as long as I got to see her again and at least tell her how I felt.

“Which may involve shifting the entire nature of the city to do it. Are you willing to live with the consequences of that?” I didn’t immediately answer Jade, she seemed to be giving me a cool glance while I thought things over.

“Yes, I’m willing to do anything for her.” That was when I was approached by Jade, who kneeled down and patted me on the head.

“Good, because you’ll be meeting her father tomorrow morning and I don’t think he’ll be very happy with seeing you.” She just patted me on the head to be comforting before delivering that news. “We need your friends to do something only they can, we need them to watch and map out the porcine patrols in various parts of the city. You guys are at least good at stealth right?”

“We’re not good at direct confrontation, except maybe for Mr. Huge here, but we are changelings.” Clypeus moved forward putting a hoof to his chest, Mr. Huge and the trumpet twins nodded in agreement. “You won’t find another species more natural at stealth than we are! If it’ll help our buddy out, then we can do that much at least. We didn’t come all this way to sit around and do nothing, just give us some paper, ink and quills. I swear by tomorrow morning, we’ll give you a comprehensive list of their patrols without being caught.”

“We’re not asking you to replace or get anywhere close to them.” I had wondered if Kuril was going to say anything, she was the eldest here. “This is strictly a keep your distance and don’t do anything stupid kind of thing. We already have an idea of what airships we can procure for our escape, but we need to work with the locals if we’re to get anywhere.”

“We’re not that stupid, the town has many magical measures against changeling infiltration. It’s how we were discovered and ran out of town the last time we were here.” I stated sadly. There were some magical artifacts littering the town that could prevent us from shapeshifting entirely, some created a zones where a changeling let loose burst of magic randomly and some artifacts were even contact based. It was a dangerous no bug’s land for my kind. “They’ll keep their distance, trust me on that. They wouldn’t be able to get too close to Ms. Sorex if they tried to sneak in disguised as guards anyway.”

“Well mom, best get started on dinner.” At Jade’s words, Kuril nodded and started getting out our limited supplies. She turned to me. “You’re friends are in for a long night Tarsus and you absolutely need to get some sleep.”

-The next day, Jade-

I woke up, with Fizzle’s head pressed against my neck. She was nuzzling me in her sleep, I enjoyed the affection for a bit before shaking her awake. We had a meeting to get to this morning, once the other changelings got back from their scouting.

-Fizzle-

So it was just the two of us and a cloaked Tarsus who was trying to not to seem skittish about walking around Klugetown. We were almost at the meeting place according to Jade. I was just waiting for something to go horribly wrong and if it did, I had the sword to do magic with on me.

We stopped in an alleyway and looked about, this was the location of the meeting.

“Are you guys the ones that Chlam told us about?” We turned around and saw a tall shrew that had appeared behind us from out of nowhere, he looked rather wiry to me. His clothing looked Saddle Arabian.

“We are. Are you our contact?” Jade stated calmly while her eyes darted about, it seems she was just as tense I was about all this.

“Good, follow me and try to avoid getting spotted by the patrols.” He stated looking out from the alleyway, his dark brown fur made him blend in around here quite well.

We followed the male shrew across the town and avoided several patrols while doing so. We used a lot of back alleys, jumped between buildings and even used some bits of scaffolding while sneaking around. It was a bit rough for me and Tarsus as we had hooves instead of the dexterous fingers the shrew and Jade used to maneuver about.

“Inside, quickly.” The shrew eventually opened up the door to a building on the lower side of town while keeping look out. Once inside we were met with a large number of shrews geared for desert survival.

One of them had been in the middle of saying something. He stopped upon seeing us, stood up and came over to look us over.

“So you’re the ones that Chlam was talking about, you’re a bit young to be mercenaries.” He pulled a scimitar from his side and held his blade pointed towards us. None of the other shrews in the room look worried or even seemed to be anything more than relaxed, this guy was quite capable of taking care of us himself it seemed. “So who are you with and why are you asking questions about my daughter’s captivity? We ‘The Desert Shrews’ would certainly like know that, as I’m their leader Soricini Sorex. Answer quickly and I may have some time for you, the bar fight you started helped us quite a bit last night and you have garnered my attention.”

He didn’t look that old, even with a scar over one eye, underneath the other and two crossing across his snout. His tail was missing a bit at the tip; it whipped back and forth agitatedly as he stared us down. He had some muscle on him and he looked quite tough.

“We’re free agents helping someone that your daughter possibly fell in love with. He returned with us to see about meeting her again. He was run out of town by some thugs the last time he was here and I’m sure they’ve been quite a thorn in your side since then.” What are you doing Jade? Why are you telling him that to start things off with? He probably won’t like hearing his daughter was in any kind of relationship. Kuril taught me how protective parents could be about this sort of thing. “Mr. Tarsus here is absolutely smitten with your daughter’s beauty… and her apparent love of pickles. We wish to help see your daughter safely out of her predicament and very far away from town.”

“What kind of pickles does she like the most?” Soricini said, staring sternly at Tarsus who pulled his hood down and stared back. The muscular shrew didn’t seem too surprised that Tarsus was a colorful changeling.

“That’s a trick question, she likes all kinds of pickled things!” There was a fond smile on Tarsus’s face. "I met her over a jar of pickles with twelves spices and herbs, it's how I got to know her.”

Author's Notes:

(New alchemy Ingredient!)

18. Waffle Mallet.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Random confusion effect chance (Weapon specific offensive buff). While sustained, the hammer has a low chance to cause confusion and or dizziness upon any impact. Said chance goes up significantly when hitting the head of a target.

Self-sustain: ???.

Chapter Seven, Shrew-d Operators: Rescue plans.

-Soricini Sorex-

This contemptable… well I can’t exactly call him a maggot, he practically is one. This bug thought he could be with my daughter? At least I knew he wasn’t in this for the power, if my daughter actually likes him then I’ll be fine with that much. This Tarsus is not a threat to me in any sense and is pretty much not very interesting, aside from being an oddly colorful changeling.

I looked at the free agents. They didn’t seem like much, but looks were deceiving. That cat was a clever one, she’s the one that gave me an opening and I used it for all it was worth. The pony… I didn’t know much about ponies, but she had come armed with a sword at least. So there’s that.

I’ve been a desert traveling nomad most of my life and being stuck here because of a big, wild and boorish monster call Gonnan had soured my mood quite a bit. I wanted to fill him full of gunpowder and shove a torch down his throat.

At least Verko is willing to make decent deals with me and not kidnap my daughter, he didn’t exactly have the manpower to keep her out of my grasp anyway and was setting himself up as the next crime boss. I cared little about that as Gonnan did kidnap my daughter and we’d make him pay, but we can’t take any direct actions against him yet.

“You’d be right, my daughter has a thing for all kinds of pickled foods.” The changeling just gave me a friendly smile. It was almost disturbing to see a changeling that wasn’t full of holes. I turned to the two free agents. “How much do you want for your services? Whatever the changeling is paying you, I can double it.”

I focused on the Abyssinian, she was the interesting one. To just walk into a bar and leave it with her companions without so much as a single scratch after instigating the fight that knocked out a number of Gonnan’s enforcers.

“How does one pay twice of nothing?” She queried innocently and I just stared at the cat completely flabbergasted.

“Maybe they’ve actually figured out how to divide by zero.” The pony commented dryly looking to her friend with something approaching passionate affection.

“Don’t be silly Fizzy, everyone knows the answer to that is always two zeroes.” What… even… is the cat actually serious about that?

“Jade, you’re an idiot sometimes.” The giggling pony received a cheeky smile from the cat.

“He’s… not paying you to be here then?” I slowly asked, just to make sure I heard them right.

“Not a single bit, doubloon or chunk of gold, did I stutter when I said we were ‘free’ agents? At least I’ve personally already gotten something out of coming to Klugetown.” There was an amused look on the cats face and I felt a cold sensation travel down my spine. How is she profiting from this? “We’ll also take whatever we can carry and will steal an airship on our way out, so there’s also that. Speaking of taking things, why haven’t you rescued your daughter yet if you already know where she is?”

“The problem is that Gonnan always has the keys on him to every room in the building she’s being held captive in.” I couldn’t rescue her without going straight through the swine, I haven’t come up with a solution to that yet. “We can’t steal just one key or all of them, because he’ll definitely know about it if we tried to steal them. He’s the only one allowed to touch them and he’s one of the toughest crime bosses around, his entourage isn’t any easier to deal with and they’re only about half his massive size.”

“I take it he’s a bore.” The cat stated out loud.

“The biggest one around, he’s holding everyone to a status quo.” I put away my sword and crossed my arms to stare down the lazy looking cat. “His version of it anyway. It is admittedly effective.”

“Definitely boring for a crime boss then.” I will admit her words made me snort a bit, as I realized what she actually meant. She wasn’t talking about Gonnan’s species. What she said next had my attention. “I’m a walking skeleton key, I can get through any door easily enough.”

“The locks are impossible to pick thanks to the magic specifically meant to prevent that from happening, the second you put a pick in that door it will shock you and or vaporize your tools.” I quickly cut the cat off from commenting. “Before you ask, the surrounding walls are made of a sturdy material also protected by magic.”

“Are the doors themselves magic or are protected by magic?” She must be asking this out of idle curiosity.

“Aside from the locks I don’t think so, but there’s no way anyone could cut through the metal without at least alerting someone.” Why was the cat suddenly smiling?

“We can possibly get her out sometime later this evening. Depends on the time it takes us to set up for the jailbreak and if you can run interference to keep everyone else away from where your daughter is being held. Well, that would certainly help things quite a bit.” You weren’t telling me how you’re going to do it, but you seemed too confident in your abilities. You weren’t lying then, or at the very least didn’t think you were. “If you already have an airship that you wouldn’t mind letting us have, then we wouldn’t have to worry about stealing one. Also, would you mind if your daughter Ami lived with a band of traveling mariachi changelings if she does in fact like this guy here?”

“I’m not giving you an airship, but I can run interference and yes I would mind if she suddenly up and left without talking to me first.” I wanted to see my daughter again and then have one long talk with her, especially about her choice for a boyfriend. If the blue bug is in fact her boyfriend. “So you’re bringing her back to me and then you’re stealing that airship. You will leave without her if I find her words lacking passion.”

“I can live with that, just as long as she’s safe.” It seems this Tarsus wasn’t a complete idiot and truly did care, so colorful changelings weren’t as deceitful as their darker brethren. “Just… protect her better this time will you?”

Oh I will, I’ll be going for Gonnan’s throat personally.

-Hours later, Jade-

The doors themselves were not protected by magic, as such I could get through them even if they were made of metal. The ones leading into the compound were a bit large. I hadn’t seen Gonnan personally, but those huge doors meant the guy was a giant.

The two guards outside the place were quite large and my dinky little knife wasn’t going to cut it or their folds of fat and muscle. The dexterity boost was a must, because I certainly didn’t want to get hit by the double bladed axes those two pigs were wielding even once. At least it would be a mostly painless death if the blow was fatal.

The Shapeshifting Siesta and my group hit our first obstacle, how to get by the two deadly guards that are said to be smaller than the big pig himself. Said pig I haven’t seen yet, but I was getting a feeling of dread of dealing with a large guy with tusks that could easily gore me.

Soricini likely had the right idea in avoiding confrontation with this guy if his daughter is this well guarded. The building looked like a fortress with no windows, it was only slightly out of place in appearance with the rest of Klugetown.

Oh look a hedgehog girl, which makes twelve differing anthropomorphic species I can identify in this town of scum and rot. The shark people weirded me out and scared me a bit, I had a healthy fear of ocean dwelling creatures.

“Fizzy, stick with mom and watch the entrance, you two will be our backup plan. Jacky your with me and Tarsus, be prepared to use that wood in any way necessary.” I received a salute from Jacky and Tarsus looked a bit nervous about what we were going to do. Mom and Fizzle were already in position on this rooftop. “Clypeus, your group is going to do some wild goose chasing with those two pigs at the front. I only need them to move away from the compound for thirty seconds and then we’re in. Circle back around and wait for us with our backup, if we’re not out in a few hours then mom will take over the rescue operation from there. We’ll be needing one ourselves at that point.”

“How will we know where to go once we’re inside?” That was a rather good point Jacky, how would we know where to go once we got inside? All we knew is that Merriami Sorex was here.

“I haven’t the foggiest Blackcap, none of The Desert Shrews have managed to get inside before and we’re likely going to be winging it.” I’m sure that tidbit didn’t make Tarsus any feel better. “Wait for us to get into position, we’ll signal you when we’re ready Clypeus.”

“Tarsus, stay safe dude.” Clypeus and the other changelings left and were preparing to cause a distraction.

“Same to you guys too.” Returned Tarsus, he didn’t care about how dangerous this was, we were about to break into a very large criminal’s fortress.

Jacky, Tarsus and I climbed down from the roof and we stood at the mouth of a nearby alleyway looking towards the guards. I could see Clypeus poking out of another with three other heads down the street, I looked to Jacky and Tarsus who nodded at me. I held out a thumb and popped a claw.

The four changelings waltzed out of the alley and the trumpet twins were carrying their instruments, I had thought they had all left those at their carriage back in Airship Mauled.

“The trumpet twins are never without an instrument.” Tarsus told me as the four changelings took to the air and got close to the two large pigs guarding the doors.

“A five, six…” Shouted Labium.

“Seven, eight… now!” Labrum followed and the twins both blew their trumpets loudly into the ears of the two five foot tall walls of bacon. Mmm… bacon.

Clypeus and Mr. Huge blasted the guards in their faces with magic, they were aiming for the eyes. As was expected of their girths, the pigs stayed standing and got quite mad. They started taking swings at the four changelings who quickly took evasive actions, but they didn’t go high enough to be out of range of the two guards.

Once the two pigs were successfully led away from the doors and far enough away, I darted out for them with Tarsus and Jacky on my heels. Jacky was already wielding her plank of wood and was watching the directions the guards went in.

I put my hand up to the door and started a cast, the door slowly dissolved much to Tarsus’s amazement. He hadn’t seen the true power of magical alchemy yet, I and mom were still only scratching that surface.

Once one of the doors fully disappeared, the magical lock on it fell to the ground. Jacky scooped it up and moved on into the building. Tarsus followed her and I moved to the other side of the door and reversed my cast, so that the door was now back in place.

We’re in…

-Jacky-

Trouble already! It didn’t take us seconds after getting through the door and already we met resistance. I moved forward blocked the spear the small pig was wielding, he had almost stabbed Tarsus.

As the tip jammed its way into my piece of wood, I remembered what Jade told me on the trip here.

-Days prior-

“Jacky I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. You may be unlucky, but have you ever thought of using that bad luck constructively or overcoming it?” Captain smiled at me and I had to wonder where she was going with this, I looked over the airships railing at the view.

“How would I even go about doing that?” While I haven’t been much use to the Captain, I hoped to be useful to her eventually.

“Jacky you’re smart, more so than me in specific ways.” My Captain gave me a compliment and I was appreciative of it, but where was she going with this. “If you have enough skill at something to the point that bad luck couldn’t do anything to stop you from achieving your goal with said skill, then it wouldn’t be as problematic would it?”

“What if my luck gets so horrible that skill couldn’t overcome it?” At the time, I really had thought that my luck could get so horrible that it would be impossible to beat.

“Then make your own luck Jacky, you can’t sit around forever waiting for life to throw you bones.” Which it obviously did once, because I met you Captain. “If life throws you a bone, you take it and beat up life with that bone and then take the rest of the skeleton to use. Were you raised by pirates or not?”

“Captain… thanks for the pep talk.” After I thanked her I decided to go think about how to turn things going wrong around to my favor. “I’ve got some thinking to do.”

-Days from then-

Okay a spear was stuck in my piece of wood which was bad because I couldn’t use it, or could I? His weapon was stuck as well. What to do… I could wait until Tarsus comes to his senses at the near miss and let him attack, or I could actually do something useful with this.

I twisted my piece of wood and the pig yelped as the shaft of the spear twisted in his grip hurting his hands. I jerked the plank, with spear still embedded, to the right and swung it to the left. The shaft of the spear struck the pig in the head dazing him and it knocked the spear loose onto the floor.

Taking up the wood in both hands, I swung it towards his skull and the wood broke roughly in half knocking him out. I just stared at the wood feeling a bit sad, it had been a good plank of solid wood… on the positive side I now have a spear!

-Jade-

Jacky didn’t need my assistance after all. She actually handled that small pork rind by herself and took up the spear in both hands. She nodded to me after testing its weight.

The building wasn’t exactly humongous, but it did have several archways to go through. Of the three directions, I choose left!

The left hallway had an upper walkway with armed pigs patrolling it, we snuck by them quietly on the ground floor down the hallway towards a door. Bypassing said door and heading through a corridor leading right, we found another door with a staircase leading downwards behind it.

Traveling down the stairs we came into a dungeon area, one with an armored pig watching a cell at the far end of the room. He hasn't noticed us yet.

After three protected doors, we had likely found Ami.

Chapter Seven, Shrew-d Operators: Escape plans.

-Jacky-

“Captain, how do we take care of that guard?” That guy in the wooden chair was an armored pig, the smallest pigs were between two and four feet tall. I can handle that easily. This guy was more in the range of four to six, while being much more physically inclined that Captain La Perm was.

“It’s times like this that having a knife as my primary weapon doesn’t help me in the slightest.” You could say that again Captain. “Tarsus any ideas.”

“I want to save my magic for something really important, I’m also not magically gifted and anything that I can think to shapeshift into would be of limited help here.” Well its little wonder why you needed us here to help you, I’m sure Captain will come up with something. “He’s not currently wearing his helmet, if only we could hit him hard enough in the head with something heavy.”

“Well I’ve got nothing.” So much for my belief in you Captain. “Still, if he’s not wearing his helmet then where is it?”

Not much here aside from some chairs a desk and a circular shield hanging high on the wall.

“Say Captain, could we use that shield?” I watched as Captain smiled and quietly moved a wooden chair underneath the shield. She got up on the chair to pry the metal buckler off the wall and then strapped it to her back.

“We can use it later Jacky, but for now I think a simple solution will save us some trouble.” What simple solution? “Jacky, Tarsus, grab a chair and get on both sides of the corridor. Be prepared to swing with all your worth, aim for his exposed head. If he doesn’t go down to whatever we can throw at him, then we’re going to be in trouble.”

“Captain, please tell me you’re not going to do something stupid.” Given how she avoided looking in my direction, she was going to do something like that.

-Jade-

“Ready, good, wait until you can get him from behind. Hey, fatso, your mother was so pretty she won a miss congeniality contest!” I had definitely earned the pigs attention. He was immediately up and staring in my direction.

“Hey, take that back, my mother is ugly as Tartarus and her attitude matches!” I blinked confusedly at his statement, I thought I was the one that was supposed to be confusing him here! “Wait, how did you even get down here, the boss doesn’t like intruders in his dungeon.”

The pig charged for me pulling out his sword, he swung for me and I leapt backwards. That’s when Tarsus decided to slam the chair he was levitating into the right side of the pigs head.

The chair broke into pieces against the pig’s skull. He continued standing there rubbing at his head looking aggravated.

“You think that’ll take me down? I’m the prison guard down here for a reason!” The gruff voiced guard turned to Tarsus, that’s when Jacky made her move and leapt for his back. She put her full weight into the downwards swing, the guard simply turned around after that chair broke upon his skull. “More of you guys? Do you runts seriously think you can handle me?”

Tarsus levitated another chair and swung for the left side of his head while he was paying attention to Jacky. He turned around and charged forward to grab Tarsus by the throat.

While the thickheaded guard was busy threatening Tarsus with his sword and choking the life out of him, I motioned to Jacky that I needed her and moved towards the desk. Jacky immediately joined me knowing where I was going with this.

“Would you stop that please? My head is much too hard to be taken down by something so…” I and Jack heaved the desk for the back of his skull and he finally went down while releasing Tarsus. “Small…”

The guard fell to the floor with a loud thud, his red armor was making quite a racket. Tarsus, who had been released upon the desks impact, scrambled away from the guard taking in several deep breaths of life giving air.

“By the sun, how can someone take three chairs to the head and still be well enough afterwards to nearly choke the life out of someone!” I wanted to rant about this, because usually big guys like that are supposed to go down on the first hit. “If this is just one of the guards, what’s their boss even like?”

“Is someone there… what happened to the guard?” At the sound of that voice Tarsus took off running down the hallway.

“Jacky watch the guard.” I followed Tarsus, let’s see who Tarsus has been kicking up all this fuss about.

“Merriami, are you alright?” Tarsus was looking into the window into the cell.

“Tarsus?! How did you survive the guard?” Her voice sounded alright, now to finally see what we were rescuing. “You’re like wet tissue paper when it comes to a direct confrontation, then again that’s a generally assumed fact about your species.”

“Well gee, tell me how you really feel about me coming to rescue you.” Tarsus certainly had a reason to be sarcastic.

“Look, I’m sorry Tarsus, but I wasn’t exactly expecting you to come to my rescue.” I looked into the window Tarsus was peering through while wagging his tail and saw his belle, what I saw wasn’t what I expected. “I was actually kind of losing hope for any kind of rescue at all. How did you get the keys off of Gonnan?”

Inside the cell was… a rather plain looking shrew girl with light brown fur, she had a thick metal collar around her neck which was chained to the wall. I was expecting something more along the lines of completely ugly or at least a tarnished ravishing beauty to look at, one that could do much better than Tarsus.

Merriami looked weak and was wearing a tattered skirt, the only bit of dignity the pigs left her with, and not much else. Her appearance was… underwhelming really. She looked nice, but not in an extravagant way. She seemed quite thin, probably malnourished by her stay in casa de porky. In all, she would be ridiculously average looking if not for her current state.

“We didn’t, we just happen to have a very good skeleton key.” Thank you for recognizing my major talent as a rogue Tarsus.

“Can you get me out of here?” She was giving us a pitiful soulful glance with her dark blue eyes.

“Could you take care of this door please?” The way Tarsus was pleading with his eyes made me roll my own.

Well of course I would, I didn’t come all this way just to set up something that might not even happen later. You and Merriami better get together after all this Tarsus.

I swear, if you ended up friend zoning each other, I will do something very unpleasant to the both of you with a cupcake!

I stepped forward, did a partial cast of the door and released the door off to the side. These thick door casts were getting rather tiring.

Tarsus immediately ran into the room to hug the shrew girl and she hugged him back, well they definitely liked one another. Good enough for me.

“So… you and him.” The shrew just blushed and looked at me while holding Tarsus close to herself. “Would you say that you’re in love?”

“Yes. I would say that, but I don’t think my father would approve of him.” She started to pet Tarsus and he growled cutely as he curled up against her. “He’s pretty wimpy, but at least he’s my wimp.”

“Hey, I came into this place against my better judgment for you!” It looked like Tarsus had more to say only his tail went ramrod straight when Merriami kissed him on the lips. “What were you saying beautiful, I think I forgot the last few minutes.”

“I do appreciate you coming for me, but you’re an idiot for coming here. You could have gotten hurt trying to rescue me!” Speaking of that Ami, I had something to do.

I crouched next to her and cast one of the links in the chain next to her neck brace. Once free from the wall, Ami tried to stand and seemed to be struggling with doing even that.

“You say I’m made of tissue paper, you can hardly even stand.” Tarsus flickered with green fire and turned into a familiar looking shrew. He looked like the one we met in the alley that led us to Mr. Sorex’s location.

“Speaking of rescue, we’re not exactly done yet.” They both gave me blank stares. “We still have to get out here and she’s obviously not in any condition to be running anywhere. Knowing our horrible luck, we’re going to have some problems escaping.”

“I’m going train myself up when we get out of here and you can be the distressed damsel next time.” Merriami Sorex muttered out loud.

“Sure thing, changelings like having strong females in their lives.” I take it Tarsus was referencing a changeling queen. It makes perfect sense that they'd like strong women.

“He’ll definitely be the damsel, he’s already met your father.” I cast and reversed the link of the chain closest to the wall. Taking the length of chain, I stowed it away in one of my packs pockets.

“What did he have to say about you Tarsus?” As soon as Merriami asked that, I clapped my hands together loudly getting their attentions.

“Look, is now really the time for this? We’re still in danger here.” I got the two of them staring at me, after a moment they shrugged. Jacky joined us as we started walked towards the one solitary entrance to the dungeon. “Let me put it this way, is Ami in any real condition to help us fight our way out of here?”

“You can tell the answer just by looking at me, I must be quite a sight.” Merriami was walking slowly while being propped up by Tarsus. “Which way did you come in?”

“The front door.” I was being looked at as if I had just lied about how we got in here. “The balcony wouldn’t have been any easier to get through.”

“We might want to leave through a balcony.” Merriami had me a bit curious. I just had to know what these two saw in each other, now wasn’t the time for that though. “They probably have the entrance covered by now if you entered that way, Gonnan has to be on his way if you tripped his magical sensors entering the building.”

“Magical sensors?” I asked feeling a sudden sense of dread.

I cast the door to the dungeon out of the way and as soon as we set foot in the corridor, the door down the way to our right slammed wide open. We had come in from that direction and it was obvious that someone wasn’t very happy about the magical locks not working.

I turned to see who was coming and froze, the big heavy thumps of his footfalls caused the building to shake. He was a ten foot tall giant, quite wide and mostly muscle and the two big white tusks sticking out the sides of his mouth looked like they had been bloodied in combat. He had dark greyish purple fur, spiky black hair, a blood red vest, dark brown pants and solid black eyes filled with malice.

I felt a sense of mortal terror just looking at him, so it couldn’t be anyone else other than Gonnan.

“So the little rat is trying to escape my hospitality, amusing.” Even his voice and chuckling caused a deep and vibrating sense of dread throughout the corridor. He pointed a larger than life pitchfork at us that ended in four swords instead of spikes.

“Jacky, remind me to buy a surplus of knife sheaths later on. You know, just for situations like this.” Sure Sekhet was powerful, but she looked friendly and at least somewhat approachable despite her size. I was quite terrified of this guy. “It doesn’t need to be said, but go in the opposite of that thing.”

I started backing away down the left portion of the corridor coming out of the dungeon. Gonnan snorted and charged for us, his every step shaking the entire corridor. The guy must weigh a ton and yet he was able to move so fast, I quickly cast my knife sheath and his thunderous approach stopped immediately. I stowed my knife in my pack afterwards.

“That won’t stop him for long, move!” I turned around and ran for the locked door and cast it out of the way. After they made it through, I was about to put it back when Jacky bent down to pick up the magical lock. She held it in the air looking at me, I reversed the cast and the magical lock took up its correct position in the doorway. “Good thinking Blackcap! That should stop him for a bit.”

A thundering was heard on the other side of the door as we made our way down the hallway while trying not to attract attention from the pigs on the upper walkways. A loud ripping noise was heard behind us, I looked back and wished I hadn’t. Two tusks were perforating the solid metal door, they quickly pulled themselves free and several fist shaped dents started noisily warping the door.

“Move faster.” I immediately charged up the stairs ahead of them and leapt onto a surprised pigs face to started bashing him down with my fist. The limping Merriami and Tarsus were getting up the stairs when the door was blown off its hinges and Gonnan marched through to look towards us.

Jacky was taking care of another guard alerted by the noise, while I cast the door on the second floor leading to the balcony out of the way. Walking out onto the balcony I could see fighting in the streets, it seemed The Desert Shrews were making a move.

“He’s coming Captain!” Yes Jacky, I know, believe me. You can't possibly miss something that terrifying.

“Tarsus, you’ve got a minute to get Ami as far away from here as possible.” I pulled out two griffon feathers and a raven feather, I cast a griffon feather at Merriami and sustained the raven feather to send a message. “Grab her and fly!”

Tarsus didn’t need to be told twice. Weighing less than she did a second ago, Tarsus was able to lift off with Merriami in his natural form and get her airborne. I put away the raven feather and cast the other griffon feather at Jacky.

“Captain, what are you…” I grabbed Jacky by the leg and swung her around to throw her towards mom, she let loose a shriek as she crossed the distance between the buildings.

Now to make my... I yowled, pain… my world was pain! I was sent flying off the building, with the feeling of metal digging into my back.

I was on course to slam into the building across the street, the shield on my back thankfully took the brunt of that blow and even then I felt that in my entire skeleton.

A cast settled over me and I slowed down to hit the wall softly.

I love you mom, but I think I might be currently paralyzed and still endangered.

Author's Notes:

Rogue's are not good against big targets.

Chapter Seven, Shrew-d Operator: A time for action!

-Kuril-

Okay, my daughter just took a punch to the spine that dented metal and sent her flying. I was thankfully preparing a griffon feather for a cast already and stopped her from getting injured even worse.

Fizzle was climbing down in a panic to go pick Jade up as she wasn’t getting up from her fall.

Jacky just jumped off the building after I caught her, she floated down while the feather falling effect was still going. I assumed that she was going to help Jade out as well.

We helped rescue Tarsus’s girlfriend, can’t we just leave this place now before Jade or any of my other girls get injured or worse?

Jade was on the ground and wasn’t getting up, but at least she was breathing. The shield on her back had an imprint of the knuckles from that large monster in it, I didn’t need to know what would have happened if that large pig had decided to skewer her with the pitchfork’s blades instead. I considered myself lucky that my poor daughter was still alive.

The big pig I assumed to be Gonnan jumped off the second story balcony and entered the fray started by The Desert Shrews. The pigs weren’t having a good time of fighting the more agile shrews in the streets, but the arrival of Gonnan made the shrews start backing off immediately and they gave the large boar a wide berth.

Why wouldn’t they back off? His landing created a shockwave that knocked down everything within twenty feet of him, he was also large, muscular and quite threatening. I had to get down there and make sure Jacky and Fizzle didn’t get hurt helping Jade out, what to do though?

I’m a magic user… think. I did not want to stay close to that monster for long after seeing what he did to my daughter. You better believe I was going to get my pound of flesh from his hide for that! That monster has earned my ire.

Gonnan not only looks tough, but he was taking various sword hits like a champ. The shrews weren’t putting a dent in him and he wasn’t even wearing any armor. The guy probably didn’t need it anyway considering how many hits he was handling with his thick hide.

Fizzle and Jacky have reached Jade, it looks like they’re checking her over. Fizzle seems relieved and a little worried about something. Jacky was soon carefully lifting Jade up and over Fizzle’s back.

I turned back to the fight. Gonnan wasn’t weakening and some of the shrews were cutting their losses once they took serious enough injuries trying to do something to that hulking boar. Gonnan knocked several of them back with a single swing of his weapon.

There were a bunch of downed pigs and the shrews were beginning to flee in various directions after getting in a few more swings at the crime boss.

Gonnan let loose a roar of rage, then he turned his sight on my girls. Fizzle was securing my unconscious daughter on her back and Jacky turned to him holding the recently acquired spear protectively.

Leaning forward, Gonnan scraped his right foot against the ground.

I pulled out a griffon feather and cast it at myself, I took a few steps back and gauged the distance and where I would be landing. I pulled out the waffle mallet and started sustaining it, its hammer time!

I ran forward and leapt from the building, my current given arc was not going to land anywhere near Gonnan unless he did what I thought he was about to do.

“With each hit of this power I do hope to break a mental cog, let the mind hopefully become like that of fog!” He charged forward and I came down on his right shoulder, he had been a bit too focused on the girls to really slow down and deal with me. I started to rapidly tap my mallet against him as much as I could. It doesn’t matter how hard I hit, just that I hit until the effect eventually takes hold.

At some point his straight line for my girls turned into swerving left and right down the street wildly, eventually it turned into a U-turn. That’s when I leapt off and landed on my paws to watch him run a tight circle and then subsequently ram face first through a buildings wall.

Despite a good portion of the building collapsing in on him, within seconds he just bursts from the rubble and staggers about looking dizzy.

“Kuril, look out!” I turned to see what Jacky was warning me about and almost received a sword to the back from an armored pig, only it was stopped by a shrew intercepting him.

“We got your back lady.” It seems the shrews were trying to regroup and had just rotated in a fresh uninjured squad, he pushed the pig away from me. “These streets aren’t very safe at the moment.”

I turned my attention to the stumbling crime boss, he shook his head rapidly and then glared at me. I glared right on back, nobody threatens my girls! He started to charge for me and I raised my right hand and almost closed my eyes completely, I waited until he was close and performed a cast with the evening sunlight.

“Sunlight that is already quite bright, create an incredible blinding sight!” I fully closed my eyes as a bright light flared from my hand in the direction of the crime boss’s face. I opened my eyes after the light died down and saw him clutching at his face in pain.

He had fallen and was roaring angrily, that had temporarily blinded the monster that hit my daughter. I quickly made my way over to the girls.

“That was awesome Kuril!” Thank you Jacky, I did find out what casting sunlight does and it apparently creates a blinding light as bright as a solar flare. I was more careful with that this time than the last time I used it, poor Sekhet. “No wait, he’s getting up again.”

“Fizzle dear, please imbue your sword with ice.” The large pig was brawny, I’ll give him that. What Gonnan clearly had in brawn and endurance, I could match with my brains.

“Huh… okay, I’ll try.” She made sure Jade was securely on her back as she pulled out the sword with her hoof and concentrated.

“Think about this guy almost killing Jade and use that to influence a literal cold rage.” What I just said had sparked something in Fizzle, because her eyes narrowed and the glow of her horn strengthened.

I turned away from Fizzle and to the approaching boar monster.

“You are an interesting one cat.” My does he seem to be quite brutish, even in the way he spoke as he stomped towards us wielding that bladed pitchfork of his. It looks like he was wising up and wasn’t just going to rush me again. “Join me and we could rule this town, or you can perish here.”

“How about no.” He grunted at me in anger, I stood tall in the face of the danger he represented. “I’m the witch of good taste, Kurilian La Perm. I think you have a horrible sense of taste after you hurt my daughter and because of that I will never join you. You will also sadly never know the taste of my food, it’s quite good from what I hear.”

“Got it, now what?” I turned to see that Fizzle had gotten the sword glowing in the colors of white and pale blue.

“Give it to me for a second.” Though she was curious as to what I was about to do, Fizzle still dropped the sword into my right hand. “Back off and leave us be, or else.”

“A magical sword, do you think that you will truly get close enough to harm me with it?” Not that Gonnan knew this, but I didn’t need to get close. He took a few steps forward and I invoked my next rhyme.

“Imbued this sword of icy wind, through you breaths of sharpened water I do send!” Sustain my fish scale necklace and… I rapidly spat multiple times into the blade until the magic on it ran out.

I had sent a number of sharp icicles screaming through the air, all of which pierced a surprised Gonnan’s hulking mass.

Gonnan let loose a scream of pain as the icicles buried themselves in his body, he stumbled backwards and away from me. After my volley ended, I calmly hand the sword back to a surprised Fizzle and stared down the pockmarked enemy before me.

“Thanks for the help Fizzle, try to figure out lightning next. Jacky you’re going to throw the spear over his head, so get ready for that.” I kept my eyes on Gonnan and moved to stand in front of my girls, both Jacky and Fizzle gave me a confused looks. “Never underestimate the power of a good witch that’s angry, especially not if you attempt to hurt that witch’s family.”

“I have a score to settle with him, back away and let me handle this.” I turned to the approaching male shrew with the scar covered body and stared at him flatly, so this was Soricini Sorex. He was a tad handsome, but I don’t think I’d ever want my daughter to look as scar riddled as him.

Hopefully Jade’s escapades never ruined her beautiful personality or her tom cat nature.

“You can have at him after I’m done with him myself.” I glared at the pig, the icicles had done quite some damage and were melting in his wounds opening them up.

He was wary of approaching me now, he had good reason for that.

“Got it, what do I do with it?” I turned to see that Fizzle had the sword crackling with energy, perfect.

I pulled out my raven feather and sustained it to give them both an idea of what I wanted to do.

“Yikes, remind me to never make you mad Chief Cook.” Sorry for the imagery Jacky, but it needed to be seen so you could do exactly what I wanted you to do. I put the feather away.

“I don’t know about you Blackcap, but I can get behind that.” That’s only because of how much you like my daughter Fizzle.

“Last warning, turn away from my family or else what we’ll do next will leave you in a worse state than you already are.” He looked at me and took a single solitary step forward, I inhaled and blasted him with water.

I started slowly walking forward. The water hadn’t done much to him, but I had soaked him.

“Girls, if you will.” I took my hammer in my right hand and waited.

Jacky took a javelin throwers stance and ran forward to toss the spear over Gonnan’s head. Fizzle swung the magically electrified sword upwards, then she spun around and quickly threw it to Gonnan’s right. I tossed my hammer to the left and what happened next was spectacular.

The crescent bolt of raw energy struck his soaked body and the lighting ran through the ice chunks that hadn’t melted yet. The electrical energy running through his body leapt off and into the three metallic weapons surrounding him in a triangle formation. It was a triangle of raw energy for a few seconds that got worse when the weapons struck the water on the ground electrifying him even further.

After that he was swaying on his feet before he fell to his butt. I calmly walked forward and picked up the sword, the spear and the hammer. I then made my way back to the girls quietly with the brute stiffened up from the shock.

“Okay, now he’s yours.” I walked on by Soricini with confidence in my steps.

“Take your daughter to our compound, tell someone ‘the desert left salt in the wounds’. She will be seen to quickly.” I nodded and tipped my hat to him, I continued on my merry way while giving the spear and sword back to my girls.

“I just realized that I could have done worse, I could have thrown the shield too.” I said looking at my daughter draped over Fizzle’s back. “Come on girls, let’s go.”

Gonnan wasn’t finished and he struggled to stand up, but it was too late. We were no longer part of the battle. We did what we came here to do, it was now up to Mr. Sorex and his people as to how things went.

-Fizzle-

“The desert left salt in the wounds.” The shrew nodded to Kuril and quickly left, eventually several shrews came and took Jade from my back. After they pulled the shield off of her they went to work checking her over.

“How did someone manage to knock her spine this badly out of alignment, she’s practically paralyzed.” Minute's later they were standing over a stripped down Jade and looking her over, I stood behind them nibbling my lips with worry. “Her only other injury is a light slash to the chest.”

“Is she going to be okay?” I turned to see Tarsus coming up to me, beside him was Merriami.

“We can pop her spine back into position, but she will be in large amounts of pain when she wakes up and she’s going to need a nice place to rest. Preferably not here in Klugetown, we’re going to prescribe some powerful painkillers for her.” The doctor started to pull out a strange substance and rubbed it into Jade’s fur, after that he started to pulling and pushing on Jade’s back. There were several sharp cracking noises that made me feel uneasy. “The air here in Klugetown isn’t going to do her any favors, I’d recommend moving her to a more hospitable climate as she’s not in a critical condition.”

“Well it seems we’re going to need that airship like yesterday, I know a good place to park my daughter for a nice relaxing day or two.” At least Kuril had an idea of what to do. “Would a coastal venue be good for my daughter?”

“Yes, as long as the air isn’t dusty where you’re going, her spine being knocked out of alignment messed up the rest of her body. Which includes her lungs.” The doctor gave Jade a pitying look. “She’ll need two weeks to recover from her injuries, so you better force those painkillers I’m going to give you down her throat. She’ll need them.”

“But she was only hit once!” I exclaimed.

“Yeah and that one hit really did a number on her.” The doctor replied. “Who did she even get hit by to cause this much damage?”

“Gonnan, the big pig himself.” Everyone turned to the sound of Soricini’s voice, he was being carried in by his people. He looked like a mess, but he was smiling. “Get them an airship.”

“Yes, that would certainly do it.” The doctor nodded before turning to Kuril. “Look the sooner you can get her out of here, the quicker she can recover in that place you have in mind.”

-Klugetown-

Thanks to the actions of Jade and the others, Klugetown would still be run by criminals. Only it had changed for the better, if ever so slightly. Thus started the rise of the naked mole rat crime boss, Verko. Said crime boss would eventually meet an Abyssinian named Capper Dapperpaws.

Author's Notes:

Gonnan the physical tank... very little magical/elemental defense or even status ailment protection.

(New magical alchemy information!)

3. Raven Feather.

Cast: Survive a fall, fall on something safely or possibly target launches and falls on something by user’s choice or at random (One time air terrain survival buff, possible offensive spell). Target tends to end up freezing twenty feet above something living.

Sustain: Projecting thoughts. Not able to receive thoughts, but you can project them to others. (New!) Can project mental images.

Self-sustaining: none.

4. Sunlight.

Cast: (New!) Solar Flare. Creates a blinding light. Can only be used during the day time while standing directly in sunlight.

Sustain: Smoke signaling. Causes smoke to appear as if something was burning.

Self-sustaining: Warms the planet.

18. Waffle Mallet.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Random confusion effect chance (Weapon specific offensive buff). While sustained, the hammer has a low chance to cause confusion and or dizziness upon any impact. Said chance goes up significantly when hitting the head of a target. (New!) The strength of the impact doesn't matter, effect can still happen with the barest of taps.

Self-sustain:(New!) none.

(New Magical Alchemy combination!)

Combination 3: Sustained Fish Scales + ambient ice magic = Ice projection.

Combination requires outside source of ice or freezing magic to wield. This combination has no cast or sustain capability. The wielder of the fish scales can alter projectile size and shape until the ice magic runs out or a sufficient amount of water from the fish scale wielders body is lost.

Chapter Eight: Caring Cozy Coast: Aftermath Diagnosis.

-Jacky-

“Are you sure we can’t go to black skull island?” There was sure to be some kind of treasure there to dig up and it would be relaxing to me at least.

“No Blackcap, Jade’s in no condition for us to go on an adventure or get sidetracked!” You may be upset Fizzle and a little uptight at the moment, but I was just as upset that Captain was ailing and out of action. “She needs us to be around to take care of her and she needs rest, we’re going straight to where Kuril thinks she’ll be able to relax.”

“Hey, at least we left Klugetown without any permanent disfiguring injuries.” If the captain hadn’t thrown me first, then that might have been me provided I could do magical alchemy at the time. I would have done the exact same thing and would have thrown her to safety.

It wasn't long after that she took that punch to the spine, but to be fair I did tell her he was coming.

“Tell me Blackcap, was all that effort really worth it?” I can understand you having doubts Fizzle. Look at it this way, it was an adventure and you can’t possibly expect everything to go smoothly. I certainly didn’t and it went pretty well. “Jade’s practically going to be paralyzed from the neck down for more than a week! If we were to take her to a professional hospital, which I will remind you one doesn't exist in Klugetown, I’m sure we’d find out that her spine is cracked.”

“I think it was all worthwhile. We saved a damsel in distress and helped a guy get together with someone he loved. Plus we have an airship! That’s a pretty expensive thing to get out of an adventure.” The adventure was pretty low key and I got to hit someone with a chair and a desk, I even fought a pig or two. It all still worked out in the end and it could have gone far worse than it did with me around. “The captain will be capable of walking again, provided she doesn’t take another skeleton shaking blow to her back. She just needs time to heal Fizzle.”

“She’s going to wake up to pain Jacky.” That’s what the painkillers are for Fizzle, though I could understand how you felt about Captain being hurt as she was. She was my Captain after all. “I feel a bit helpless knowing that I can’t help her with that.”

“Look at it this way, you get to play nurse for her and can even ensure she gets better before she does anything else.” There was the thought provoking look I was trying to bring about in Fizzle, she was silent for a long while. “I’m upset that she’s hurting too. Don’t forget that she’s my friend as well.”

“Fine… are we still on course?” Of course we are Fizzle, I’m not bad at navigation and steering. Though I could do a little more work on landing an airship safely.

“We’re almost where Kuril wanted us to go, we should see it soon if you want to go take a look over the side. Otherwise go see how everyone else is doing.” She nodded to me and then went below deck.

I stayed at my post and would be busy making sure we all got to our next destination in as safe a manner as possible. I’m thinking of my luck in that regard, hopefully we can land this airship intact and be capable of takeoff again.

We renamed this ship The Ardent Survivor, we were absolutely going to try and keep this one from crashing.

Knowing our collective luck, Sekhet might just get a new skull ornament when we return home. A smile crossed my beak as I thought of what I called home, Airship Mauled would always be my last port of call in any adventure.

-Kuril-

I sat at the bedside staring at my daughter, her breathing was a bit abnormal. As soon as she woke up, she was going to need to immediately ingest the painkillers. Someone had to be here to do that for her and it may as well be me.

Holding her hand was all that I could do for Jade right now, she looked so frail to me. She hardly ever got sick and she was so full of life, now though... I just stared at her troubled form.

We sorely needed a hospital for Airship Mauled. As mayor, I needed to figure out how to get one built.

We needed a lot of things really. An income, more people, more businesses and a steady food supply that isn’t reliant on a somewhat lazy goddess that’s taken on a job of being my secretary. It made me wonder what Sekhet and Maries were getting up to back home.

-Sekhet-

An explosion happened and I poked my head up over the wall.

“Bring it on Celestia, you will not take any more from me!” I shook a curled paw at the sun princess. “You want a war, I’ll absolutely give you one!”

“Isn’t this a bit ridiculous Sekhet?” The Maries all asked at once. “Starting a war over a slice of cake, we honestly don’t see what you see in such sugary treats. Fruit pies are better.”

“See, you have those who speak blasphemy on your side, you’ll never win!” Celestia shouted while pointing to the chimera.

“Maries, I respect your existence, but she ate my cake and that means war!” I shouted and the Maries just backed out of this. This must be getting too dumb for them.

“I’ll take whatever you can dish out sphinx!” Despite my currently being bigger than her, Celestia came nose to angry nose with me.

“Hey everyone, I made caramel cake with chocolate chunks and cinnamon!” Both us goddess level beings immediately stopped getting into each other’s faces and went to sit down and stare at Fresh Start with begging eyes. “Why am I not surprised at all, that that’s what it takes to get you two to stop fighting? Sekhet gets first slice, because 'somebody' ate her cake.”

“That’s completely unfair! I’m your princess, shouldn’t I get the first slice? How was I supposed to know it belonged to someone? It was just sitting on a plate out in the open with a beautiful candlelight vista behind it of the setting sun, with a fork and a sign that says doughnut eat in front of it.” Yes, because I put that sign there Celestia, you’re just as goddess as I am about food. “It’s not a doughnut though and it was a very enjoyable slice of cake.”

“I didn’t know the princess of the sun was that illiterate, how has your nation held together for this long without need of a more literate goddess like me?” If one were looking at me, they’d easily tell that I was quite mad at the sun princess.

“Hey, I’m only illiterate when it suits my needs and gets me a slice of completely unguarded cake!” That’s not a defense Celestia, that's you admitting your guilt.

“You knocked us out and we were the ones guarding the cake for her!” My fateful friends the Maries intoned.

“Yes, as you can see, that poor unguarded cake would have fallen to the mouths of an evil chimera if I hadn’t stepped in! So it’s a good thing that I did.” At this point I don’t even think that you’re hiding it at all Celestia. You are just dragging this out just to be amusing to me and are hoping for a lighter punishment. “Just think. You, the evil chimera, might have eaten it and then you’d be in trouble with this massive sphinx. It’s a good thing I saved you from the temptation and the siren call of that most impossibly attractive snack. In fact, you should be thanking me for eating it!”

“That’s it, everyone in this room is being asked a riddle!” My angry shouting shook the walls, try and be cute now Celestia. You can’t escape as I’ve magically disabled teleportation, flight and all means of quick escapes from the area. “No ifs ands or buts allowed!”

-Fresh Start-

Celestia’s first true meeting with Sekhet did not go how I expected it would, I thought our burgeoning town would be leveled to the ground in a pitched battle of violence and destruction. Instead it’s just petty squabbling at its finest.

I can now never look at Celestia in awe, especially with knowing that she’s actually quite evil when it comes to unattended cake.

-Kuril-

I had to think about all of that, on top of being Jade’s mother, a witch and a restaurant owner.

So many things to deal with at once, but I’m sure I could manage by dealing with one thing at a time as they come. Nobody said doing any of these things would be easy and trying to do them all at once would be just plain nuts.

I sure hope Cheerilee and Fresh Start could last another week or two without us.

-Some time later, Jade-

My first thought was ‘pain’ upon my eyes snapping open and I moved to scream only to have something forcefully shoved into my mouth. The thing in my mouth tasted absolutely horrible. I was going to try and spit it out, only for a hand to clamp down on my mouth tightly.

After that, I looked up at my mom. She was standing over me using her right hand to hold my mouth shut. She gently rubbed my throat with her left hand until I swallowed the horrible tasting thing she forced upon my horrified tongue.

Why did medicine always have to taste so horribly bitter?

“Sorry about this my little tom cat, but how would you rate your pain upon waking up. Left eye for one and right eye for something much higher.” Well mom here’s my response, I winked my right eye multiple times. “Okay, pretty bad, give the painkiller dosage a minute to kick in. You’ll be feeling much nicer and I’ll take my hand off your mouth then. Just breath gently through your nose Jaded, you need to save your energy if you are to get better quicker.”

Define better mother. Aside from the sharp constant and slowly dulling pain, I couldn’t feel my arms or legs very well at the moment. That my limbs still hurt let me know that I wasn’t going to be permanently disabled. Just disabled for a while.

“Did… you…” I started croakily as soon as mom removed her hand, how long had I been out?

“Did I what my little tom cat?” she ran her hand over my head and pulled some loose strands of green hair out of my face.

“Did you get… the number of that donkey cart?” My mother smiled fondly at me and caressed my cheek, she even started giggling a bit.

“I can tell you’re going to be just fine Jaded, but don’t try to get up please.” Mom, I don’t think I could even if I wanted to at the moment.

“Don’t… think I can.” I was gently pulled into a hug.

“It’ll be okay, you need to rest for a week or two.” Oh sure, because that’s the natural amount of time someone would take to heal from injuries that leaves them mostly paralyzed.

“What about… Fizzy N’ Jacky?” I was far more concerned about them than myself.

“What am I going to do with you? You’re always more concerned about your friends, which actually makes me pretty proud of you. Jacky took some minor injuries fighting some of those pigs off, but that’s her natural state of existence anyway.” Mom don’t make me laugh, giggle or snort. It vaguely hurts, that strong painkiller must be really kicking in now. “Fizzle’s a bit drained of her magic and she’s hurting emotionally because you’re hurting physically. She’ll hopefully be fine once you start getting better.”

My ears twitched. I was hearing the soft sounds of shifting tides, the song of seagulls going about their day and a salty sea breeze permeated the air. It all sounded and smelled so familiar. I looked beyond my mother at my surroundings, I was not on an airship and I wasn’t in Klugetown given the bright colorful buildings.

“Where are we?” Why did I feel as if this place was familiar? At least it felt familiar. “Also, could I get something for the taste in my mouth?”

“Since we were in the neighborhood and you needed a better environment to rest and relax in. I had us brought back to Palicoast for a temporary visit.” This would be one of your better ideas mom, it would certainly be a really nice place to relax. “Now hold on while I go and get you something to drink. You’ve been out for more than a day so try to stay awake for a little while, Fizzle will be really happy to talk with you.”

I wondered if our old neighbors were around. They likely were, as not much really happened around here in the place of my birth. I wondered if I was in the local hospital, it didn’t seem white or dreary enough for one.

“Jade… you’re awake!” The tremor in Fizzle’s voice brought me out of my introspection. She came over to me and gently nuzzled her face up against my neck.

“It’s good to see you too Fizzy, what happened?” Sitting down beside me, Fizzle the adorable pony started telling me a story about how mom got quite mad and tore into Gonnan's hide. It was kind of hard to believe my mom could do something like that. “So you helped mom take Gonnan down a peg using your powerful imbuements. What happened after that?”

“We left after she picked up all the weapons. We don’t exactly know what happened, but Soricini came back badly roughed up.” So casting with sunlight caused a localized blinding solar flare. It made me wonder what casting and sustaining with air would exactly do. I was going to remember this. “He told his men to set us up with an airship, he also had a long talk with Tarsus and his daughter. I think everything worked out. The Shapeshifting Siesta are doing A Capella on a street corner near here, Mr. Huge is just tap dancing though. They are telling people to not trust less colorful changelings nearly as much, it sounds like it’s going to be their disclaimer. I think Merriami Sorex is going to join their group as a dancer, she’s doing much better than you are with a few good meals from Kuril in her.”

“Here you go Jade, some water to get that taste out of your mouth and some warm soup.” My mother held a water filled cup out to me straw first and I greedily sucked down some water to get the taste out of my mouth. She gently pulled it away and sat down next to me. “Don’t take in too much, too fast Jaded. Now open your mouth and get a taste of my version of medicine, its soul food for your tongue.”

“You really know how to spoil me mom.” I took in the broccoli cheddar soup and smiled, tasted euphoric like always. “How long are we going to be in Palicoast, a few days?”

“Try a week or two Jade.” Mom spooned me another bit of soup.

Author's Notes:

Welcome to some peaceful slice of life chapters or adventuring around Jade's old home town.

Magical Alchemy list.

1. Fish Bones (simple).

Cast: Water breathing (Temporary passive water terrain survival buff). Breathing water as if you had gills, permanence can be achieved with repeated casts.

Sustain: Swimming efficiency and deep water survivability increases.

Self-Sustaining: Luminescence. Once used as a sustain effect, bones glow softly on their own.

2. Fish Scales (simple).

Cast: Fish Scale Skin (Temporary defense buff). Possible permanence with multiple casts, more effective underwater. Can be used to water proof objects.

Sustain: Water Projection (Continuous offensive ability). Able to spit or project volatile volumes of water, drains fluids from body with excessive use. You can actively control the volumes of water you project and how focused that projection is.

Sustain 2: Blood Projection (Dangerous offensive ability). Capable of performing a powerful projection, but only from open wounds. As one would imagine blood projection is exceedingly painful, taxing on the body and ultimately dangerous to the user. The intimidation factor might be worth the agony in the right situations, but it will always be a detriment to one’s health.

Self-Sustaining: None.

3. Raven Feather.

Cast: Survive a fall, fall on something safely or possibly target launches and falls on something by user’s choice or at random (One time air terrain survival buff, possible offensive spell). Target tends to end up freezing twenty feet above something living.

Sustain: Projecting thoughts. Not able to receive thoughts, but you can project them to others. Can project mental images.

Self-sustaining: none.

4. Sunlight.

Cast: Solar Flare. Creates a blinding light. Can only be used during the day time while standing in sunlight.

Sustain: Smoke signaling. Causes smoke to appear as if something was burning.

Self-sustaining: Warms the planet.

5. Knife.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Rogue Enhancements (Continuous passive buff). Heightened dexterity, agility and environmental awareness. Strengthens all mobility based buffs.

Sustain side effect: Inability to sleep or relax.

Self-sustaining: Trains muscles and exercises body for similar maneuvers used while wielding the sustain effect.

6. Knife Sheath

Cast: Traps one target temporarily (One use support spell). Time limit for stopping a target is the same every time for sheaths of similar design. Sheaths for different or larger weapons ‘probably’ improves time limit.

Sustain: Increased protection against knives, arrows and other small bladed weapons (Continuous passive buff). Warning: Does not protect against anything larger, or anything else for that matter.

Self-sustaining: None.

7. Alicorn Feather (Celestia).

Cast: Wings of sunlight (Limited air terrain mobility buff). Target is given wings of pure sunlight. Darkness, shade or shadows can weaken the flying power the wings generate, at night they'd be far less effective. The power of the wings can be combined with a knife's or similar sustain effects for improved flying ability. The wings might be extinguished by water and could be useless while it’s raining. Does not protect the user from gravitational or high speed stress and lack of oxygen at high altitudes like a pegasus would be by their magic.

Sustain: Redirect sunlight (Defensive support buff). Is only useful during the day and allows for blinding opponents or aggressors with light.

Self-sustaining: Minor protection from darkness (Automatic defensive buff while feather is on person). Needs to be charged with sunlight and to have been used as a magical alchemy sustain at least once to work.

8. Phoenix Feather.

Cast: Cleansing Flames (Support healing spell). Finds and stops negative foreign bodily ailment or ailments that are magical or mundane, does not heal damage. Can possibly stop positive ailments.

Sustain: Protection from the cold (Continuous defensive buff). Immunity to cold, increased defensive ability against ice and relative elemental based magic.

Self-Sustaining: None.

9. Jade’s Cloak, Cloaks in general.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: ???. (Effect seems to do nothing, need more information.)

Self-Sustain: Makes sneaking easier (Moderate stealth buff).

10. Cupcake (Banned by Kuril).

Cast: You don’t want to know.

Sustain: Likely none.

Self-Sustain: Delicious.

11. Frog Mucus (Banned by Kuril).
Cast: Magical wide area sticky substance bomb (Hard to get out of clothing).
Sustain: ???.
Self-sustain: ???.

12. Griffon Feather.

Cast: Feather Falling (Limited air terrain support buff). Lowers gravity’s effect on an individual for a minute.

Sustain: Double Jump (Continuous Mobility buff). Can jump off the air one extra time after leaving a solid surface and only one time.

Self-sustain: None.

13. Fish Oil.

Cast: Ignition (Multipurpose offensive and support spell). Ignites itself and anything around it except the user.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

14. Candle Wax.

Cast: Stiffness. Slow down a target, can have a wide area of effect for reduced effectiveness.

Sustain: Heat resistance (Limited continuous defensive buff). Does not stop heat damage entirely and candle takes heat damage in place of the user.

Self-Sustain: None.

15. Pepper.

Cast: Sneezing cloud (Limited continuous Defensive spell). Wide range spell that doesn’t affect the user, causes continuous sneezing on contact and doesn’t necessarily need to be breathed in to take effect.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

16. Tricorne.

Cast: Charisma boost (Limited status buff). Gives one the ability to walk around with confidence.

Side-effect: May instill need for showboating in user.

Sustain: ???.

Self-Sustain: ???.

17. Wood.

Cast: Bark skin (Temporary defensive buff). Make skin and fur tough like tree bark, like most casts can become permanent with multiple consecutive uses. Increases durability of objects when targeted. Causes mildly uncomfortable chafing on a living target.

Sustain: Hair growth in sunlight (Limited utility effect). Only works in direct sunlight.

Self-sustain: Magically enhanced building material.

18. Waffle Mallet.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Random confusion effect chance (Weapon specific offensive buff). While sustained, the hammer has a low chance to cause confusion and or dizziness upon any impact. Said chance goes up significantly when hitting the head of a target. The strength of the impact doesn't matter, effect can still happen with the barest of taps.

Self-sustain: none.

Combination 1: Candle Wax + Oil (any) + Pepper = Chaos Candle. Candle hollowed out and filled with the other two ingredients mixed together equals devastating results.

Cast: Sneezing flash bomb (Offensive one use spell). Blinding, sinus wrecking and volatile magical cast.

Sustain Cast: Weak jet propulsion device (Limited air terrain support buff), Flamethrower (Limited offensive spell). Doing this will slowly destroy the candle and chemicals used in it. Exhaust fumes has a lesser effect of casting with pepper.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

Combination 2: Feather + stick + arrowhead (material any) = Arrow. Arrow + poison = special status ailment added to casting effect based on poison used. Pukwudgie Poison (Paralysis for a few hours).

Cast: Arcing Arrow Beam (Offensive spell). Fires a beam that is effected by gravity as if it were an arrow, it can only damage one target and that’s the first thing it touches. If it grazes a wall and then hits you, it will do nothing to you.

Sustain Cast: Spray of multiple weaker beam shots.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

Combination 3: Sustained Fish Scales + ambient ice magic = Ice projection.

Combination requires outside source of ice or freezing magic to wield. This combination has no cast or sustain capability. The wielder of the fish scales can alter projectile size and shape until the ice magic runs out or a sufficient amount of water from the fish scale wielders body is lost.

Chapter Eight, Caring Cozy Coast: Gossip Diagnosis.

-Jade-

A week or two stuck on my back, at least we were in Palicoast for it. I can understand why mom wanted to be here. It was a safe place and I could heal in peace, without the trouble that being in Equestria brings.

I was going to be quite bored here, it made me wonder what my friends were doing.

-Jacky-

I was walking along the docks of the port, I liked looking at boats and airships as they come and go. It felt like the place I grew up. Only there was less cannon fire, people beating each other senseless in the streets and a lot more cats.

Fishing seemed kind of boring for a pastime, but Abyssinian’s did eat a lot of fish. At least I knew Kuril and the Captain did, Fizzle did eat fish sometimes and she’s a pony. Cheerilee and Fresh Start always sent Fizzle weird looks when she enjoys a nice piece of baked or grilled fish. I could eat fish too, but I didn’t get weird looks because I was an omnivorous parrot and something that can eat meat.

I didn’t mind fish personally, but you try living on an island for the most of your life where the biggest legal export is coconuts. I hated coconuts with a passion, I have and always will prefer bananas. Yes, even pirates had their own mercantile ships. It’s just that they were entirely hands off to any pirate, as they carried various supplies Turtle Toga needed.

“I heard from my friend that fishing is a local pastime around here.” I addressed the tubby white furred fellow sitting on the edge of the docks.

“Birman’s the name and fishing is something of a specialty around here miss.” The male cat introduced himself, he then went back to what he was doing and that was preparing a lure. ”Everybody who lives here in Palicoast knows how to fish and with all sorts of methods involved therein. We also know how much fishing is too much. Whether it is fishing in a lake, river, out in the ocean and even off the edge of these docks. Just assume we’re mostly good at fishing around here, there are some exceptions though. The exceptionally good and the exceptionally bad.”

“Despite living on an island for most of my life, I haven’t learned how to fish.” The cat was just giving me this disbelieving stare, I just shrugged at him not knowing what to say aside from the truth. He was a jovial kind of person with a moderately deep voice. “It seems kind of boring, sorry if that sounds a bit offensive.”

“Oh it is boring, I’ll give you that much for a young thing like you. It’s all about patience and getting food without wasting energy, sitting around patiently is not something youths like you are known for.” He stood up, closed his eyes and crossed his arms thinking about something. He then opened them and gave me observing look. “With young ones, it’s always about exploring your surroundings and finding your place in the world. I found my place a long time ago being a well-known fishing cat around here. So does that friend of yours know how to fish?”

“Does the name Jaded La Perm mean anything to you?” Something makes me think I said the wrong thing, because he immediately started laughing raucously.

“Are you talking about Kurilian’s whole world, that Jaded La Perm you mean?” He gave me a rather amused smile and I nodded at him. “Oh it definitely means a lot around here, poor girl ran afoul of the worst kind of fishing problem a few times here at the docks. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not terrible at fishing. It’s just that there’s this whale shark in the local waters that really doesn’t like her very much, or it may even be the very opposite and it likes her far too much. It’s hard to tell with an intelligent fish like that one.”

“Sounds like a story I’d like to hear.” I sat down giving this cat my complete attention.

“Oh it’s definitely a whale of a tale alright or a cats tail in any case. If I remember right Jade like’s to go fishing with her tail. Tail fishing involves dipping your tail in the water with a protective covering and waggling it around, it’s a better method of fishing around rivers. It’s used to get a number of small fish easily.” Birman shook his head chuckling a bit. “Jaded fished in the ocean and got dragged in a few times by a whale shark that has a thing for playing with Abyssinians. It doesn’t eat them and it’s a pretty docile thing, but it makes tail fishing here a dangerous sport as it likes to drag you into the sea if it catches you dipping your tail in anywhere around here. If it were only that, then it wouldn’t be such a tall tale that it is.”

“What do you mean?” I was quite curious to hear about Jade’s adventures in her place of birth, she had an adventure in mine so it was only fair that I have one in hers. Captain grew up in a really nice place.

“It seems the whale shark is always smart enough to know when Jade was fishing with a pole, as such it always knew which line to pull to get Kurilians’s poor little kitten into the water.” As he spoke Birman held out a fishing pole to me and I took it from him, he pulled out a second fishing pole and motioned for me to follow him down the docks. I got up and followed him. “Those interactions led poor Jaded to fearing sea monsters or large aquatic creatures because of that, but it didn’t stop her from swimming or doing some deep diving. Come on and join me while I spin you a few of my best yarns about that crazy green haired cat and a few other legends around here. While I do that, let me show you how to play ‘go fish’ the literal way.”

He showed me how to cast a fishing line and what to do when the bobber eventually sinks into the water. Eventually, I ended up next to him with my own fishing line in the ocean.

“Ever since she learned to breathe underwater, we’ve taken to giving Jaded the nickname Catfish around here. Not that any of us would ever say that to her face, that would be rather rude.” He pulled his rod back and swung it forward launching his fishing hook off the side of the dock. It landed in the water with a small splash a fair distance away. “It’s definitely a healthy fear to worry about large creatures when you’re not as agile in water as you are on land, especially when you have an oafish shark continuing to bother you while you are trying to help your mother with getting food. Kurilian, her mother, makes some of the best broiled fish I’ve ever taste.”

I would learn several more things about the Captain as we waited for a fish to take a bite of our lures.

-Fizzle-

I know I saw Jacky heading towards the docks, but I wasn’t as interested in the boats or the fishing which was as natural a thing around here as breathing. I was more interested in hearing if there was anything magical around here to see.

The buildings here were quaint, if well built, structures. Far better than what I saw in Ponyville at least. The Abyssinians walking around didn’t stare at my broken horn or even bothered me too much about anything, they were keeping to themselves. I tried to listen in on the conversations around here like Jade told me she did back in Klugetown.

I stopped and sat down to look at a kiosk with scratching posts, apparently Abyssinians liked to sharpen their claws on them. Even though they really don’t use their claws for much really from what I’ve seen with Jade.

“Hey, did you hear?” It didn’t take me long to hear something from a group of gathering cats. “Kurilian’s back in town with her kitten.”

“I heard she’s got a place of her own going now and she’s only here because her kitten was hurt and needed a nice place to stay.” There were several feminine felines gathering together into a clowder now.

“She’s a good mother, to think she had so many doubts about raising her kitten.” Another one of the cats intoned as she joined.

“Speaking of the kitten, she must be lucky to have a mother like Kurilian.” A male cat joined the group much to my surprise. “Do you think she’ll cook for anyone around here while she’s in town?”

“Not if she’s taking care of her kitten exclusively.” One of the females moved and wagged a finger at the male. “So don’t you dare bother her about it, just leave her be. Even if we miss her food, we can’t force her to cook for the entire town when she came here to relax!”

“Right, what am I thinking? Her daughter is laid up and here I am thinking with my stomach.” Shaking his head, the male continued on. “Did you also hear that Kurilian is the mayor of her own town?”

Wow, news travelled pretty fast around here from what I’m hearing. I turned back to the scratching post seller.

“Sorry I’m…” I started only for the lazy male cat to hold up a hand.

“Curious about those who live in Abyssinia, I know. You came into town helping Kurilian carry the Catfish.” He sat up and gave me a smile. “How've they been doing, aside from what I’ve been hearing about Kurilian’s kitten being badly hurt?”

“I’d like to think they were doing okay, up until Jade got hurt at least.” Here I was with nothing to do except listen in on other people’s conversations, I wasn’t a medic nor could I really help Jade get better quicker.

“The name’s Devon, would you like a scratching post to give to Jaded?” Was he trying to make a sale, I couldn’t tell. “I’m sure she’d like one as a gift.”

“Sorry, but I don’t really have any…” This young thin faced male cat with the grey and black fur pushed a bright green scratching post forward.

“Don’t worry about paying, I just want you to confirm one thing… is Kurilian really the mayor of her own town in Equestria?” Devon seemed to be a curious sort himself, I blinked and just nodded. “That must be something really interesting to see, I’m sure she was voted into the office on her cooking skills alone. Let me ring you up, here’s a receipt and now you have a get well gift for Jaded.”

“Um… really?” I just looked at it warily. He smiled and nodded as he put the scratching post in a bag and stuffed the receipt in there as well. He pushed it before me smiling.

“Yep, just like that.” This Devon confirmed with a cheerful attitude. “You look a little depressed about Jaded being injured. Jaded needs good friends around her age like you, being born between generations and being on your own a lot of the time is no fun. Not that being alone has really bothered Jaded all too much before.”

“I don’t feel like a good friend.” I grabbed the bag with a hoof and looked at the green post inside it, I then closed it up.

“If you’re upset that the Catfish is hurting, then you’re definitely a good friend.” He had a somber expression on his face now. “Some people have worse ways of showing they care.”

“How do you know Jade?” There, now that I put that out there I wondered what Devon would tell me.

“We used to go to school together, though I never bothered or talked to her much. I’m several years older than her, which is one of the reasons we never interacted much.” Another cat came up to the stand and after Devon was done with selling them a nice looking brown scratching post, he turned right back to me. “We’re all one big family living here in Palicoast. It was a bit surprising for us all to hear that Jaded and Kurilian were going to move away, mostly because Kurilian’s cooking is well respected here. We gave them a nice send off at least. Sorry if this is a bit much, but is Jade still getting schooling in Equestria?”

“Yes, she is.” My response was a little terse at best, but that didn’t deter Devon.

“Oh good, because she needs all the help she can get with complicated math.” He gained an interesting smile on his face. “So what are you going to do here besides moping around and eavesdropping on people in the streets?”

“Wait for Jade to get better so we can get out of here.” It didn’t seem like there was much to do around here.

“No, no, no, that just won’t do at all.” He looked upset with me, did I offend him somehow? “While you’re in Palicoast you need to have a little fun! Get around town, talk to people, find the sights and see them. If there is anything you wanted to do while you’re waiting for Catfish to get back on her feet, then now would be the time for it!”

“Maybe see if what Jade says is true about bar fights and throwing a stool a foot away from yourself?” He let out a silly sounding laugh at my words.

“Now that actually sounds pretty fun, to bad I’m busy with my store at the moment. If you want to get into the middle of the fighting when you do that, then do so.” It seemed like Devon really wanted to go with me. “The salty sea cats around here pull their punches and it’ll at least help get the aggression out of your system about feeling like your helpless. The harder you hit, the harder they hit, so watch yourself and don’t go too far. You bloody someone, knock them unconscious or they start coughing badly, then you back off immediately. The bar is down that street and hang a right, you can’t miss it. Just remember, have some fun!”

I began walking towards the bar wondering if I would really do what Jade did back in Klugetown.

-Kuril-

“So as you can imagine my little tom cat, everyone is happy to see us again.” I’m sure this was the third time my daughter heard of this.

“It’s nice to hear Savannah is still around, has she had any kittens?” At least my daughter was interested in hearing about how our old neighbors were doing, she must be so bored with sitting here all day.

“That tigress?" I snorted derisively. "She'll never settle down!”

“Jade, Kuril, guess what?” Jacky came in with a bucket filled to the top with fish. “I finally learned how to fish today!”

“It seems like you got a good haul there Jacky.” I must admit that was more than just good.

“I’m back.” I turned to the pained voice and looked at my little Fizzle in shock.

”Oh my goodness, what happened to you Fizzle?” My little pony looked badly bruised.

“I tossed a chair in a bar.” Despite her gruesome disheveled appearance, Fizzle started smiling a bit.

Chapter Eight, Caring Cozy Coast: Future Diagnosis.

-Fizzle-

The bruises actually felt pretty good and I got a lot of the stress out of the way, I felt much better. It left me wondering why Jade or Kuril would ever want to leave. This place was quiet and… a little too nice. There was something wrong with this place, but I just couldn’t quite put my hoof on why.

“Oh and I also picked something up for you Jade, I guess it reminds me of you.” Someone reminded me to pick up the bag with the scratching post in it and I guess that was nice of them. I took the scratching post out of the bag and placed it at her bedside.

“Awe, you got her a get well gift Fizzle!” I found myself being hugged by a happy Kuril, I admit that I enjoyed being hugged far too much. “That’s so sweet of you! Jades been needing a new scratching post for a while. When she can move again she’ll be able to take care of her claws… wait, how did you get it? You don’t exactly have an allowance yet until we can get Airship Mauled built up.”

Was she really going to give me an allowance? I… didn’t know how feel about that. Completely appreciative that I had a mother figure in my life, even if it isn't necessarily my birth mother.

“I got it from a kiosk owner, it has a receipt and everything.” I showed the receipt to Kuril and she looked it over.

“It seems you’ve met Devon Rex, he’s a nice fellow.” That’s something I’ve notice around here Kuril, everyone’s nice… way too nice to everyone else to. I was treated as something normal, no pity and only a little curiosity. They talked to me as if I were just another part of life here, there was something vaguely fishy about all this. “He’s always so worried about claw care. Nice to see has a business going”

“Excuse me, but something seems a little off about this town. Why is everyone here so friendly?” I just had to voice it, this has been niggling at me all day. “It just seems way too nice, why would you ever want to leave here?”

“It’s just how Palicoast is, everyone’s got a pal here. If you don’t have a pal and are lonely, you’ll soon find yourself meeting someone who can help alleviate your boredom. That is, if they’re not too busy.” Sighing Kuril turned to the quiet looking Jade just laying there in bed. “Around here everyone tries to stay only acquaintances. They are usually too busy with their daily lives to really form strong bonds with anyone unless they’re searching for love. They’re not bad people though, I already told you how they try to make time for anyone who needs help.”

“Again, why would you ever leave a place like this? It seems so… perfect.” It was beautiful town, even the view out the door was breathtaking. What was I missing here?

The people here were friendly and unassuming. The town was built to last and was quite sturdy.

The food was… well I was still eating what Kuril made and I had heard them talking about asking Kuril to cook for them.

They had plenty of fish here, judging from the amount Jacky caught.

They also had the fruits from nearby trees, but I think the vegetables must have been imported. What was the local export then? More fish? I'd ask them later.

“It’s not perfect though, it’s just... idyllic.” Idyllic, yeah that would be the word for this place Kuril. It just seems too much to be real. Jade, with her head propped up on a pillow, was being rather silent or was she thinking about something? I couldn’t tell at the moment. “I’m a little surprised I can still recognize the difference even now after Jade had pointed it out for me months ago. Trust me, despite how everything looks, it isn’t as perfect as it seems.”

“Can you be a little more specific, what kind of problems does this town exactly have?” I wasn’t seeing it.

“Well for one, unless you’re a merchant, you won’t really get very far from town. It’s quite reliant on Abyssinia and other places being around to trade with. If anything happens to Abyssinia’s capital or the surrounding places of trade, then this town will get hit hard with really bad times. This town has no plans for such a massive disruption! The prosperity here isn’t exactly built to last on its own without outside help, it’ll collapse in on itself economically due to said disruption.” As soon as Jade said that, I had my attention completely on her. “Kraken season isn’t so nice around here either, let me tell you. It’s tentacles for weeks and the noise is really horrific the closer you are to the coast. It certainly makes sleeping almost impossible. Unless you have food squared away for that, then you might go a bit hungry. While friendly, the people around here have a capacity to be overly aloof, especially with how busy things can get.”

“She’s not wrong about any of that. It's really a nice place to live, but staying here for the rest of your life is a bad idea if you have any hopes or dreams like my little tom cat does. You'd be sitting on a daily grind and going nowhere otherwise.” There was a strange look on Kuril’s face. “The peace is nice, but the only people here who can fight are the sailing cats and they won’t stand for very long against a large assault of any kind. I’m quite surprised that pirates haven’t taken advantage of this port already. The people here should really be prepared for the many possibilities of things going wrong in the future… they definitely aren’t.”

I could tell that both Jade and Kuril were being a bit weird about something. I wondered what Kuril was thinking, much less Jade. They both seemed distracted.

“I think it hasn’t been hit by pirates because they’ve been lucky enough to avoid being rich enough in resources to attract attention.” That makes about as much sense as anything else Jacky, but there was something strange about that.

“That luck won’t last forever, this place might even become another Klugetown...” Okay Jade, I think we get the idea. That comment caused me to feel shivers down my spine. “Peace can only last as long as there are those who are willing to protect it with their very lives. At best I can only protect those close to me with my very being. Well not at the moment, I can’t exactly stand as I am now.”

That caused my spine to freeze up far more and I gave Jade a worried look. Would she really be willing to die for me? I didn’t like that thought, her not being around anymore would probably be one of my worst fears come true.

This place didn’t really have anyone to protect it. That’s what was wrong! There were no guards here, then again there really wasn’t much crime here either.

I guess it’s not rich enough for pirate attacks, but it’s not poor enough to be squalid. It was a delicate balance and they weren’t prepared for the worst to happen, I can see now what Jade and Kuril were talking about. Too much of a big change and...

They were living day to day, but never were they prepared or even ready for the distant future.

-Approximately seven years into the future, Tempest. The future that refused to change.-

“Look at that rainbow. Look at that rainbow!” Yes Grubber, I can see it. Rainbow was just a mare that certainly couldn’t do subtle if she tried, never take her on any stealth mission. “Whoa, that’s so cool.”

“Yeah, of them to alert us.” I smiled a bit, at least those two were okay. Rainbow wouldn’t have been happy enough to give away their position like this and attract my attention if any of them had been badly hurt. “Funny though, they don’t seem to be heading to black skull island.”

I turned to the Abyssinian. I knew he was going to lead us astray, but I didn’t care to really rush towards black skull island and was promptly rewarded. I wasn’t going to hurt him much, I found it hard to raise a hoof against any Abyssinian. Even one as scumbag as this one was.

After all, many Abyssinian’s lost their homes in the assault that ripped apart their capital.

I ignored what the cat was saying, he was just trying to make excuses at this point. I pushed Grubber out the way. No need to apologize, I’m being evil right now or at least I’m just playing my role in all this.

I pushed the throttle forward and steered the airship towards theirs, to think it was Jacky that taught me how to fly an airship in the first place. I think she was currently stuck in Turtle Toga, I’ve never been there. The Storm King and none of his storm creatures, thankfully enough, haven't been there either.

At least Blackcap was safe where she was, unlike the rest of the world if the Storm King gets his way. She would only be safe until someone forces a captured pirate to lead them straight to that magical island, someone like Celaeno for instance.

I knew that those ponies would likely be down in the hold of the ship, but I was going to waste time and let them escape again.

I already had an idea of where they were going anyway, it wouldn’t be too hard to catch Princess Twilight at Mount Aris after all. She wouldn’t be able to get too far without transportation.

It wouldn’t be long before Grubber eventually did something seemingly competent, if I didn’t already know where those six were going to begin with.

“Fire the harpoon!” This moment was reminding me of Palicoast as I watched our harpoon strike the other airship.

How were those people doing now? Not all too well after the Storm King took everything from them I’d think. Not many people could stand up to his army of storm creatures or fight off an airship bombardment.

They were likely to be in dire straits.

Both Kuril and... they at least saw the writing on the wall about that. I hoped Kuril would stay put during all this, I wouldn’t be able to stand her looking at me in disappointment.

It still hurts even now, I can hardly think of what I had, it’s knowing they’d all be quite unhappy that I’m doing all this. I wasn’t part of the invasion of Abyssinia, but I had heard of it happening and didn’t lift a single hoof to help.

I would have likely just been caught up in the devastation for trying to help.

Instead, I was later caught with that stupid magical green glowing rock and offered a position in the Storm King’s army.

One of those voices that told me to get rid of the rock sounded like… hers. I should have dropped it like hot garbage instead of running from the storm creatures and Grubber.

I wondered what happened when the storm king destroyed it… the magic in cursed things like that just doesn’t simply go away because you destroy the container.

Did he… did he accidentally absorb all of it? I shook his hand with my hoof not to long after that… I think that was indicative of something about me being bad luck for him.

I've heard that some things involving magic were hardly ever coincidental, I just hoped that whatever cursed magic that was in that stone was effecting only the Storm King and not me by proximity to its destruction. I did not want to be like Jacky!

The invasion of Canterlot that I did take part in was at least less violent and horrific thanks to me. The destruction and injuries were kept to a minimum, no pony died. The royal guards really didn't do much and there wasn’t much of a fight to be had, I had even taken down the princesses important to the worlds continued existence.

At least turned to stone they could still do their jobs of raising the sun and moon.

The only pony that I could truly rely on at this moment is myself, I had a plan and I’m sticking to it.

Though I logically knew the storm king was going to destroy the world, after he’s already destroyed so much.

In the end, I hoped to be rewarded with what I’m after.

...

I’m going to have a lot to answer for once this is all over with.

-Fluttershy, Mt. Aris-

Fizzle was scaring me quite a bit, maybe she wouldn’t be like this if I knew what was going on with her.

What was also scary was that everything here was so… quiet.

This place was unnerving, cold, no cuddly animals around… very little noise. Rarity’s complaining being louder than the wind. She’d say she wasn’t whining in the slightest, but she did kind of have a point that the bad guys were winning.

We’ve been on the run for a while now with very little rest.

What was wrong with you Fizzle? Where was… Jade…

Fizzle would hardly ever let Jade out of her sight. That was after Jade got injured pretty badly during a trip they took, after that she was really quite protective of her.

Something really bad must have happened. I felt really bad for not being there, but my new friendship with Twilight was so… magical. It also took up a lot of my time when I wasn’t caring for all of my animals.

If it wasn’t Twilight getting into some kind of situation, me being too busy to visit Airship Mauled or the many other things that took up my time, then maybe I might know what’s going on.

I felt just awful about whatever Fizzlepop was going through. Pinkie keeps insisting that she’s just Tempest Shadow, but I knew our old friend when I saw her. I would like to say that I’m still her friend, but at the moment she doesn’t seem to be mine.

Fizzle’s still in there somewhere underneath her scary appearance and angry visage, she just had to be.

Jade wouldn’t have ever let something like this happen unless she were… no, Fizzle would have never let something like that happen… then what did happen? This place was quickly becoming depressing.

-Approximately seven years prior. Palicoast, Jacky.-

“What are the chances of something really bad happening to Abyssinia?” I tried to brighten the mood in the room, both Kuril and Captain were getting all moody for no reason. They were even bringing down Fizzle with them. “It’s a beloved peaceful trading nation, who would ever attack it so viciously?”

“You’d be utterly surprised at what some people would do for power.” Jade glanced at Fizzle for some reason. “You’d be surprised Blackcap.”

Was there something the Captain or Kuril weren’t telling me here? I know being bedridden wasn’t a pleasant thing, but at least Jade had us right? We’d always have her back and it was only a matter of time before she gets better.

I wasn’t going to get my tail feathers in a twist, maybe a trip to the beach is called for. We could build some sand castles.

Author's Notes:

Well this one took a while, hope everyone's happy with it.

Otherwise I'm just going throw my hands up in the air and keep going.

Chapter Eight, Caring Cozy Coast: Beach Diagnosis.

-Six days later in Palicoast, Jacky-

Captain was up and… well she wasn’t moving on her own, but she was up. Being on pain killers almost constantly for several days probably kept her from screaming in pain as we helped her along towards the beach.

I had finally gotten Fizzle to agree to a beach day, don’t honestly know what we’re doing for lunch or in the evening. This morning was going to be so fun and Jade would be lazing about in the sand.

“Are those pain killers effective?” I asked as I helped Captain walk.

“Yes… very.” The captain needed a few more days of rest, but she was looking better already and Kuril said she needed some sun and exercise.

“Are you sure you should be up and moving Jade?” Come on Fizzle, Captain’s perfectly fine for getting out for a little while. We can’t confined her to a bed forever. “You seem uncomfortable.”

“Don’t worry about me Fizzy, I’m getting better. Who knew a single punch to the spine could put me down for that long?” Captain smiled at our pony companion and slowly ran her right hand along Fizzle’s head. Fizzle leaned into the touch and smiled at her. “I certainly didn’t and now I know what it’s like to get hit by a carriage full of lead going down a hill would feel like.”

“Actually you would be dead if you were hit by something like that Captain.” I wondered if Captain La Perm has no sense of mortality. “You did see the dent in that shield right? Imagine if you hadn’t put that on your back.”

“Point, you absolutely have one.” The Captain was smiling weakly. “When was your last round of bad luck? I’m trying to work out if I can time it to a clock.”

“It’s been about…” I started to say before fishing spear slammed into the street between my legs, the shaft wobbled upwards smacking me painfully between the legs once. Fizzle managed to catch Captain while I fell to the ground in pain. I took a few seconds to respond. “About fifteen seconds ago.”

“Er… sorry about that!” A sheepish looking fishing cat pried his dangerous multipronged spear out of the ground and then ran off at the sight of our combined glares.

“I’m okay guys, let’s keep going.” I eventually got up, I’m not missing this day. I have been asking for a trip to the beach over the last few days and we were going to enjoy it.

Bad luck or not, I was going to make this a day for my friends to remember!

We continued on our way through town towards the beach, cats stopped to wave or give a greeting and continued on about their day. We had just about everything we needed for a day on the beach, including a blanket and parasol.

I had the parasol and Fizzle had the blanket. We could play and Jade could just relax, all while Kuril could do several things in town.

We made our way down the wooden stairs to the beachfront and looked about, not many people playing out here or even enjoying the beach. You’d think this would be a constantly swarmed location for tourists.

Those who were here, were the younger cats with a few older cats to watch out for them.

“So where’s a good spot to put down the blanket?” Fizzle looked around the beach, she seemed unsure about things. I don’t think she’s ever been to a beach for fun before.

“Right around there, but not too close to the water.” It seemed Captain did have the experience of a beach bum, it looked like a nice location.

Fizzle unfurled the blanket and I placed the parasol, however we both realized we left Jade standing by herself and she was staring at something.

“I’m not going near the water today…” Captain muttered quietly while shivering in fear.

“Why not Captain La Perm?” I looked towards the ocean and saw something diving into the water.

“Just call it a hunch, but I think there’s something out there that is out to get me.” What makes the Captain think that? She was being a bit paranoid.

The sun was shining, there was nothing but calm waters throughout the horizon and waves were gently lapping at the shore.

“Afraid of a little water Jade, how much danger could you possibly be in this far from the it?” Cue something making Fizzle eat her words.

Something quite large and brown leapt out the water on a long arcing trajectory for the Captain, we both just looked at the incoming wide mouthed creatures with dull shock.

Fizzle was the first to make a move. She quickly leapt to wrap her hooves around Jade and rolled out of the way of the large brown speckled creature that slammed into the sand.

It was a whale shark, probably the same one that wouldn’t stop bothering the Captain from Birman’s tales.

The large creature flopped upright in an organized manner, then it managed to turn itself around and got back into the water by bouncing in a controlled manner with its flippers. Its dorsal fin was last seen diving into the water. That thing was really quite intelligent for such a large fish.

-Fizzle-

Jade was whimpering while curling up against me. I started trying to comfort and calm her down. Her ears were firmly pressed back and her tail was between her legs, she was the large frightened mass of cat on top of me.

I don’t know how Kuril could ever complain that Jade never did cute things, I think she was being really adorable right now. Maybe she only did adorable things when Kuril wasn’t around. That would certainly upset mom to no end.

I shouldn’t laugh about this, because that had surprised the heck out of us and it had certainly terrified Jade.

I continued running my hoof through her hair and she clamped onto me, I then started running my hoof up and down her back.

“Don’t worry, the big scary fish is not going to get you Jade.” I softly intoned before the shark jumped out of the water again. I turned my head and immediately fired a wildly zigzagging bolt of lightning from my horn. I had managed to somehow miraculously hit it and the impact knocked that shark back into the sea. “As I was saying! It’s okay Jade. See, there’s no big scary fish out to get you. Now let’s get you onto the blanket so you can rest while watching us playing in the sand.”

My unaided magic was powerful, unstable and quite draining as all get out, but that had been absolutely worth it. At least I had managed to stay conscious this time.

“Okay…” Her quiet voice tugged at my heart, I held her close and kissed her forehead before releasing her. For someone so brave, incredible and insane, she seemed so fearful right now.

“Come on.” I goaded Jade back onto her feet, she was still a bit jittery and her eyes kept shooting towards the water. I managed to get her on the blanket where I let her cuddle me until she could finally calm down. “I’m sorry for mocking your very clear and quite real fear of the water Jade.”

“It’s okay and… thank you Fizzy.” I was enjoyed the comforting feeling of Jade snuggling me. We spent the next few minutes like that.

“Well now that you’re done protecting Captain from a crazy shark, I believe we can get our beach day started right!” The soonest Jacky said that a large kraken popped up out of the water, I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

I don’t think I had enough magical power in my body to blast another sea creature.

-Thirty minutes later.-

I looked over to Jade and saw her bumping her fist against a curled up bit of tentacle. We had been a bit worried about the monster appearing until Jade talked the kraken into relaxing with her.

That didn’t make sense as she was coming off of being scared of being attacked by a shark jumping out of the water at her. She was scared of the shark, but she was okay with a kraken that just slithered aimlessly onto the beach?

It seems like the kraken was entirely cool with hanging out with Jade under the shade of the parasol, it was just being as lazy as Jade was. I had no words for that, but Jade obviously had things under control.

“One second she’s scared out of her wits and whimpering against me, the next she’s friends with a Kraken… never have I met a more vexing being than her.” I turned back to what I was doing with Jacky. What was sitting before me wasn’t a sand castle, it was more like a sand sculpture of an airship with a paw sticking out from under it. “We’re building an airship out of sand and not a castle, also why am I even sculpting Sekhet’s paw sticking out from under the airship?”

“Maybe because it fits with the theme of our sand sculpture and you’re doing pretty good in detailing the paw... can we make it more of a yak long boat though?” After Jacky said that, I heard Jade giggling quite a bit. “I can’t do a mast made of sand and I think sculpting oars would be much easier.”

“Okay, what exactly is so funny Jade?” Stopping in the middle of my sculpting of the second paw, I turned to the giggling cat on the blanket.

“Can you actually imagine Sekhet being hit by anything other than an airship?” After stopping to consider that, Jade got a very horrified look on her face. “We wouldn’t be able to keep our towns name if something other than an airship ever hit her!”

“Yes, because that would be quite horrible and not at all the real problem of things falling from the sky over Airship Mauled.” Please note my sarcasm Jade, I was using it quite liberally here.

“Look, if getting hit by falling objects was a real problem, then don’t you think Sekhet or Celestia would have taken care of it by now? At least one of them would have thought of precautions.” Just because they are goddesses, it does not mean they are always smart or proactive like that Jade.

“Have you ever thought that maybe they haven’t thought of doing something protective like that yet and probably never will unless absolutely prompted?” I received looks from both Jade and the kraken, they both shrugged and continued relaxing. “Of course they haven’t thought of that. So when do you think mom is… did I just call her… Jade, did I really just…”

“Yeah, you just called my mother mom.” Jade and the kraken both sat up to stare at me and I turned to Jacky who was also staring at me.

“Well if it upsets you…” Jade got up and stumbled on her way over to me, but the following kraken propped her up and she eventually got to me. She crouched down and pulled me against herself with some strength.

“Fizzle, it doesn’t upset me one bit and you’re already family. I’m not upset and I think Jacky will eventually start calling her that too.” She smiled and started to chuckle, her whiskers tickled my face and fur as she nuzzled up to me. “Go ahead Fizzle, call her mom to her face and see what happens. I know for a fact that she’ll love hearing it.”

“Speaking of Chief Cook Kuril, what is she doing right now?” Jacky poked her head up from her side of the now more long boat styled airship made of sand.

“I remember mom saying something about getting an idea of how we should build Airship Mauled up without crashing more airships into Sekhet before we left.” Jade let go of me, I most certainly didn’t whine out loud about that because of how much I was enjoying her hug. “Speaking of crashes, Captain Grit’s ship left us with a bit of farm land dug out using Sekhet’s face, so we should grab some fruit seeds while we’re here. I want to grow some lemon trees, Jacky will probably want bananas and that leaves an idea for what trees you want Fizzle.”

“I’d actually prefer a strawberry patch.” It was something I knew we could do easily at Airship Mauled.

“I’m sure we can find some Abyssinian strawberry seeds around here and we can cross pollinate them with Equestrian strawberries for a better crop.” That sounds just fine Jade, though it’ll take a while for the lemon trees to really start producing and banana trees also take a while. Unless we were to get trees that were already producing.

Strawberries were a quick and easy fruit to grow and I knew how much of a fruit lover you were Jade. Maybe we can talk to a few cows without a home into moving in so we can make fruit smoothies and ice cream.

“That sounds great Jade, now get back on the blanket and continue resting!” The cheeky pained smile being sent my way by Jade made my realize soemthing. “Wait... did you even take those pain killers this morning?!”

“Nope, I don’t need them as badly anymore.” I saw Jade sit down and I notice that she twitched and winced a bit.

How much pain was she tolerating by being out here with us and exactly how high was her pain tolerance?

-Jade-

Even with that little bit of activity my body felt like it was on fire. Another week around here would be better now that I could move around. Being stuck in bed for more than six days straight is no fun, even with mom taking good care of me for most of that.

“Say, do you do massages?” I addressed the kraken and it tilted its cone shaped head at me questioningly while shrugging with its tentacles. “Right, here’s what I want you to do…”

-Kuril-

I was thankful that I could convince Mayor Manx to agree with me that building a town wide hidden bunker over the next few years would be a good idea. Hopefully it’ll actually save lives, unless the mayor just kept it all to himself.

I didn’t think the mayor of Palicoast was evil, just a politician with an overly inflated sense of self-worth. Like most politicians really… except I have my insane daughter to keep me grounded in reality.

I also had two other children to care for as well and they may as well be mine with how close we’re all getting to one another. Jacky was always so clumsy, it was either that or her horrible luck getting the better of her. Fizzle always seems so quiet and sweet, she was the one in need of the most attention.

As I made my way onto the beach I saw a really weird scene before me, an airship shaped long boat with oars made of sand with a pair of well sculpted paws sticking out from under it. I giggled and looked to the kraken that was giving my daughter a massage… wait… what?!

How in the world did Jade… you know what? I’m not going to bother trying to figure out how she taught a kraken to give massages, or even ask what a kraken was doing on the beach.

Author's Notes:

Sekhet under an airship meter: *Ding!* 4.

Unexplained authors note embed!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdyJoJz4iI0

Chapter Eight, Caring Cozy Coast: Motherly Diagnosis.

-Kuril-

“Isn’t it a bit dangerous to have some random kraken massaging you Jade?” I walked up to my purring kitten and she just looked up to me in a slight daze.

“He’s not some random kraken though, his name is Escargot.” In response to my daughter’s purred words, the kraken waved a tentacle at me and then continued to rub Jade’s back. This elicited more purring from my daughter, looking at Fizzle I could see she was giving the kraken jealous looks. “He’s really helping me out a lot here, you should try this. It feels really nice.”

What does Fizzle have to be jealous of? It wasn’t like Jade was going to fall in love with a kraken. A chimera was completely okay in my book, but I’m putting my foot down with more bestial creatures that couldn’t speak in a language I could understand.

“Just so long as he doesn’t touch you anywhere inappropriate and is actually helping you feel better.” That made the kraken give me an upset look and it started to gesture with its tentacle that it would never do such a thing. A kraken that’s an absolute gentle tom, now I can say that I’ve seen a lot. When I finally get to dancing hippos on my bingo card, I’ll be able to turn it in for thousands of bits. “Fine, but why did you name the kraken Escargot?”

“I didn’t name Escargot, that’s his name and he knows how to write. Show her Escargot, and could you get my left shoulder while you’re at it? He’s really good at multitasking.” Two tentacles moved to work over my daughter’s left shoulder and she sighed, the kraken also wrote ‘hi’ in the sand. “I think he might have sea pony friends in Seaquestria.”

“Shoo-be-doo shoo-shoo-be-doo?” The kraken threw me a salute after I blandly intoned the general call for help in the ocean that my daughter told me about. I had yet to meet a sea pony, but they had to be real from the way the kraken reacted.

“Thanks for confirming it mom.” Well Jade was currently okay in the tentacles of the kraken. Not a sentence I ever thought I’d be thinking without panicking about it. Now to see what my other two girls were getting up to. “Oh, and thank you too Escargot for being so friendly. This is really good stress relief and it’s helping my injuries heal a little bit faster.”

The kraken clacked and gurgled in a manner that made him sound happy to be of help as I walked over to see what Fizzle and Jacky were getting up to.

“Hey girls, what are you up to?” From what I could see of Fizzle, she was still just jealously glaring at the kraken that was making my daughter purr.

“Nothing much mom, we’re just relaxing. Though I could use help with getting all this sand out of my fur and hair after we’re done having fun.” Despite how lazy she said it, Fizzle had said a word that made me quite happy. I quickly pulled the pony against myself into a tight loving hug. “Ulp… too tight.”

“I’m sorry Fizzle, but you called me mom. I’m not entirely responsible for my actions at this moment.” Though I did loosen up my cuddling strangle hold on the young mare and would eventually let go of her. “Also Abyssinian’s have several good methods for getting sand out of odd places, don’t worry about it.”

“You think sand is hard to get out of fur, try having feathers.” Turning to Jacky, she was in the midst of sculpting a pyramid on the beach and a crab seemed to be helping her with it. “I’m making more sand sculptures before we have to leave… how long do we have before we have to get cleaned up for an early dinner?”

“I’m giving us two hours at least, then you girls need to clean yourselves up.” I glanced in Jade’s direction, the red kraken was still being so gentle with her and it was still slightly unnerving to watch. “So is the kraken being friendly weird to you guys too?”

“Not really, I’ve seen weirder things happen in Turtle Toga just by throwing banana peels around. Just so you know, banana peels are not as slippery as legends would suggest unless the peel was left to sit out for a while.” Jacky turned away from the finished pyramid sculpture and left it to the gathering crabs to play with. “Want to help me build an actual sand castle mom… ulp... why did I say that?”

“Welcome to the party Blackcap, now figure out a way to get Kuril to stop snuggling us to death.” Don’t complain Fizzle, you loved all forms of affection given to you by me and Jade. “She’s going to hug us to death.”

“Why don’t we just say that we love her and hope that she let’s go of us?” I like the never give up attitude you have there Jacky.

“We love you mom!” They both said at the same time as they hugged me back, I felt my heart soar.

It made me feel like a competent mother to have these two turn to me for parenting and motherly affection. I loved my daughter Jade, really I do, but sometimes she just made me feel slightly iffy on the subject of being a mother. It’s been quite a journey so far and now I have two extra daughters to dote on.

“I love both of you girls too and I’m not about to let you go anytime soon until you’re all grown up and then you’ll cruelly leave me all alone without anyone to care for.” I pressed both Fizzle and Jacky up against me tightly. “The both of you will become so beautiful, unlike my daughter who won’t even put in the effort to making herself look good.”

“She doesn’t have to make herself look good, I think she’s already beautiful the way she is!” After she said that, Fizzle dug her face into my neck with an embarrassed sounding groan and red face. “Did I just seriously say that out loud?”

Now you see, Fizzle is how a cute daughter is supposed to act!

“Yep, but it’s not like it’s a secret that you really like Captain La Perm.” After saying this Jacky turned to me and poked my neck with her beak. “Now can you please let us go?”

I sighed and released them, I was going to spend some quality time with them now.

-Three days later, Fizzle-

Kuril was really quite happy to be our mother, like I was happy enough to call her mom.

It even felt nice when she started brushing my mane. I kind of wished that it was Jade doing this, it was just as nice though to have Kuril doing it while she hummed. It was really quite comforting.

“I swear I still feel like I have sand in my feathers. I love playing on a beach, but it’s less fun when you have to wash yourself off afterwards.” There was a general sentiment of agreement at Jacky’s words.

“Say Jacky, could you teach me how to pilot an airship?” If I ever had to fly The Ardent Survivor myself for any reason whatsoever, it would be useful information to know.

“Sure thing, we might as well make a day of it. I was going to do some maintenance on the ship anyway.” Stretching out, Jacky put her hands behind her head and leaned back in the chair. We both looked to Jade as she slept. “Captain and Kuril will have to learn to do it as well, we can’t rely on my bad luck to stay entirely away from me while I’m piloting.”

“Hey, you got us to Palicoast in one piece Blackcap. You even landed the airship intact and in good working condition too.” Come on Jade, you have to know that it was a complete miracle considering your luck on airships. “You’ve even got the most piloting skills out of the four of us.”

I agree, Jacky was the best pilot we have and her luck wasn’t going to stop her from being our designated pilot.

“I’m not that great Captain…” It seems Jacky Blackcap Chickadee was being way too modest for her own good.

Sure she had horrible luck at times and it tended to randomly target those around her, but she was earnest about wanting be our friend. We all made quite a concerted effort to ignore the fact that she was a jinx because of that, she was loyal to a fault and knew how to keep going even if fate really hated her on some days. I respected her and so did mom, Jade and the other people of Airship Mauled.

“Jacky, you are the pluckiest and friendliest bird I know, you’re also the one that knows the most about airships, boats, sword fighting, tying knots and lots of other things like how to aim and fire a cannon accurately.” I leaned into the next brush stroke as I spoke, this was really relaxing. “You may be unlucky, but you’re really talented at a lot of things.”

“I still wonder why you like your hair sticking up and out like this as your preferred hairstyle, it certainly makes you quite unique.” Another brush stroke from Kuril had me feeling really pleasant. “I guess it’s just how ponies roll. Whenever they get a style they like, they tend to spend almost the rest of their lives with it. Unless they force a big change to their appearance.”

“It keeps my hair out of my eyes and it’s an easy style to maintain. It’s the same style I’ve had since…. since my filly days really.” I wasn’t going to change it anytime soon, but maybe I would eventually. Mom wasn’t wrong about most ponies keeping one style of mane for most of their lives with very little change throughout. “So when are we going to get to those flying lessons?”

“Whenever we’re through eating breakfast would be a good time.” Kuril stated calmly.

“Breakfast, who said breakfast, I want breakfast!” We all jumped away from Jade, who immediately woke up at the word.

“That’s my little tom cat for you, always thinking of her next meal. We’re not having breakfast yet, besides I need to finish combing Fizzle’s mane.” The brush strokes stopped and Kuril went to pick up a comb, it was nice to know what having a mother felt like. “You should probably let me care for that shaggy green mess of yours Jade.”

“Not going to happen, I like being a bit scruffy. It makes me look less like a sun priest.” Then why were you still going through your sun salutation ritual Jade? You certainly seemed happier that you could do that again with only a mild amount of wincing. I’m sure that the sun doesn’t begrudge you the days that you missed.

“We’re going to learn how to pilot airships after breakfast, can you go tell The Shapeshifting Siesta and their new groupie slash member of the group that we aren’t going to leave them behind?” The comb strokes Kuril was performing had me blushing, I guess it just felt that nice. “We’re going to be in Palicoast for at least two more days and you’re still not one hundred percent dear daughter of mine. Don’t think I didn’t notice you avoiding the pain killers, we’re going to have a long talk about your health Jade.”

“I don’t want to get an addiction mom, I don’t need them anymore.” After finishing her exercise, Jade gave us a salute and left the room of the inn we’ve been staying at... by jumping off the third floor balcony.

Well it was the quickest way to the first floor and Jade did have a griffon feather to do that strange double jump before she hit the ground thing. How does the feather’s sustain account for all that momentum and allow one to jump off the air without breaking their legs? Magical alchemy was still a bizarre thing to me, like earth pony magic.

I also didn’t understand Jade’s ridiculous fascination with jumping off of high places, she didn’t seem like that much of a thrill seeker to me.

-Hours later, Jade-

“If it’s fine with you, we wish to be on the ship while you do this.” Well that didn’t sound very untrusting at all Clypeus, because we weren’t actually planning to leave any of you behind. I wasn’t about to forget our colorful changeling friends, who might have incidentally changed back to being dark changelings if we ever betrayed them horribly.

“Sure, no pressure to not crash the ship into the nearest deity then. Well let’s get things started Jacky, what’s the first thing we need to know about airships?” At my question we all turned to the parrot who was getting a bit shy at all the attention she was receiving.

“Well to start off Captain La Perm, airships are constructed a bit differently from sea faring vessels. For one they are made to work primarily in the air. They only work in the water in the case of an engineering emergency.” Started up Jacky, she seemed nervous about teaching us stuff. “Is this how Cheerilee feels when she teaches us? Anyway, they are built with as sturdy and lightweight a material as you can get. The Keel is always the first to hit the water or the ground and it has to be made of a stronger material to help create the skeleton of the ship. Depending on propulsion, the ship will be just as easy to use in the water as it is in the air. Any questions so far?”

Nothing but silence here Jacky, we’re listening.

“There are various forms of airship propulsion. Magic propulsion is hard to keep fueled. Jet propulsion doesn’t work in the water in the event of a crash and is a bit explosive. Fin propulsion is the slowest safest form of propulsion and a bit tiring to work manually. Propeller propulsion is useful in just about any situation if a little bit more dangerous than the fins.” Now that Jacky brought up the methods of propulsion, I noticed how most pony ships tended towards aerial fin propulsion or manual propeller propulsion. At least ponies were about safety and conscious of being environmentally clean. “This ship in particular has propeller propulsion which is powered by a small slow oil burning engine, with pegasus made pollutant capturing filters that are still working at eighty percent capacity. When they get down to twenty percent capacity, it’s time to trade them out and recycle the ones you have safely. Some ships can have two or more forms of propulsion and those would be a bit faster than The Ardent Survivor and its two propellers if they were working efficiently together.”

“Question, when can we get to some real piloting here?” Well don’t ignore Fizzle, she raised her hoof and everything Jacky.

“When I go over all the rules of what not to do when flying an airship and how to recognize when something is terribly wrong with the balloon, the ropes, the body and the propulsion systems on the vessel.” It sounded like Jacky has seen every kind of technical problem that could possibly occur on an airship. “Not to mention everything else that can go wrong when I'm on one.”

Author's Notes:

Next: Leaving Palicoast for home, will The Ardent Survivor land safely? At this point...

It's up in the air.

Chapter Eight, Caring Cozy Coast: Unexpected Luck Syndrome.

-Final day in Palicoast, Jade-

The flying lessons went pretty well, we avoided causing any incidents while flying around. Fizzle seemed to enjoy piloting the airship and our landings were only slightly rough. Once The Ardent Survivor was airborne it flew pretty well.

Speaking of our newest possible Airship Mauled victim, we were outside it today making some final preparations and we were testing some new magical alchemy.

“Please be careful now girls.” Mom’s words just made me roll my eyes.

“I’m fine mom, I’m not in pain anymore.” I was feeling much better now and I was now testing the magical sustain on the knuckle imprinted shield. “Hit it moderately hard Jacky!”

The shield does what one would expect when using it in a sustain effect, it shielded in the direction it was pointed. Only it projected a decent sized octagonal orange energy barrier that seemed to flow outwards constantly from a central point.

Jacky reared back with the spear and thrusted it forward. Despite the barrier not being connected to the shield, I felt the impact of the spear thrust and I stumbled a bit. The shield was undamaged, but I had still felt the impact of the spear as if Jacky hit the shield I’m holding directly.

So the sustain projects a larger area of protection in a given direction, only the ability to handle the blow was still on the user and if the projection is hit then the shield isn’t damaged. I could still be knocked down and trying to block strong impacts would be a detriment to keeping ones arm in its socket, alongside the chance of possibly breaking bones in said arm.

So even if I had used this against Gonnan, the end result would have been about the same. Only the shield wouldn’t have dented and it would have gone straight into my spine itself, thus taking one of my nine lives. If that was even a thing Abyssinians had.

I tried to expand the area of the projection, nothing happened. I tried to mentally shrink the area and that actually had an effect. So the area of protection had a maximum limit to how far it could stretch or how big the field could get.

I gave it some thought and the flowing octagonal energy transformed into a regular sized orange cat of flowing energy. Okay entirely malleable magical barrier energy that couldn’t go too far from the shield and could take on various shapes, this sustain would be really fun for someone who was looking to be a barrier warrior. This would be more my mom’s speed, it was too heavy for my tastes.

I started to make the barrier cat bounce around and frolic with each movement of the shield and a bit of thought into the given movement. It couldn’t go too far away before it seemed to hit an invisible wall nor could it go outside a widening cone of the shields orientation. I stopped sustaining and the barrier cat disappeared, I tapped the shield a bit. No self-sustaining properties then.

“Okay that… was really adorable Jade. I didn’t even know you had it in you. You know I’m just worried about you, but I guess you’re right. We’ve been here long enough and we need to get a move on.” I was quickly grabbed and brought into a tight hug by mom and she put her head on top of mine. “We do after all have to relieve Cheerilee and Fresh Start from the stress of having to deal with Sekhet all day, every day. And you need to get back to school. I haven’t been able to do this for a while for fear of hurting you Jaded. If you somehow become a mother some day in the future, then you’ll eventually know what I’m feeling right now my kitten.”

“Do you think we should prepare ourselves a proper send off? Maybe make a huge batch of soup for the people around here before we lift off.” I was released and mom looked thoughtful tapping her right hand fingers against her cheek while her other hand held her elbow. “Also would you like to give the shield a try?”

“Sure, to both of those ideas.” Mom seemed to bounce back from her gloomy state pretty fast.

I pulled the shield from my left arm and gave it to her, she put it on her right and started magically sustaining the shield to create the outward flowing octagon of orange energy. I sat down to watch.

She started warping the barrier energy and it turned into a clawed hand holding a shield, soon the shield warped into a sword and swung downwards with mom performing that exact motion to do that. The sword and hand disappeared, mom just gave me a look.

“Hm… this is probably one of the more unique sustain effects we’ve ever found, despite how limited the area and range we have to work with on top of the limited amount of energy we can shape. An inventive person could use this to do a lot.” Mom aimed the shield at a chair and formed claws to pick it up and stumbled bit once she did lift the chair off the ground and quickly put the chair down. “Okay, definitely not the same as unicorn levitation. I’m guessing the barrier is effected by force and weight, if it gets hit with weight or any amount of force, then it hits you personally with it.”

“Yep, you figured that out rather quickly mom. You still have to move the shield to do anything with the magical sustain too, so you can’t forget that being a slight issue as well.” It always helped to know the limitations of our magical alchemy discoveries. “Still, what the shield can do is pretty good, just don’t let the barrier energy be hit too hard and it’ll protect you. Otherwise a large enough blow will hurt you, as such it’s dependent on what the user can stand up to personally.”

An explosion of bright colorful lights appeared in the sky attracting our attention to Fizzle, she was trying not to use too much energy and was alternating between using the sword and her horn to get a feel for the differences between them.

“Well I think I’ve exhausted my magic for the day.” Was it really that tiring for you Fizzle? You only did three fireworks based displays with both your horn and imbuing an object to do the same thing.

“Are you feeling okay Fizzy?” I knew Fizzlepop was becoming more and more prominent in my life. I was okay with that because I loved her and I knew she liked me.

“I’m fine, but it’s really draining to practice my magic.” She gave me a friendly smile, before moving closer to nuzzle my neck and then planted a gentle kiss my on the cheek. She was getting bolder and eventually she might work her way up to asking me out on a date. “Thanks for worrying about me Jade. Did you test the chain yet?”

“Not yet, I’m still watching mom play with the shield.” We both turned to see Jacky holding a stick and with a swing of the shield, mom sent the orange sword she created through the stick cutting it in half.

“That’s a little below the sharpness of a normal sword, but I think the force matched the strength of your arms swing.” Jacky stated while studying the cut part of the stick she was still holding with interest. “It works offensively at least, but the projection seems to only be capable of going about ten feet from the shield, or three meters, before it loses cohesion. It can only go off to the side for about five feet at its farthest and only one foot at its closest. The more shapes used to form a projection, the smaller that projection is. This is all really quite complicated for something as simple as a metal shield.”

“Yeah and if we account for the weight I can lift with one arm including the shields own weight, then I might be able to move some smaller more lightweight things around easily.” Mom looked like she wanted to test how much weight she could put on her arm. “Leverage wouldn’t be a problem, it’s the actual lifting that is problematic.”

To show everyone what she was talking about, mom sent the orange energy out to grab the spear from Jacky. The energy got beneath Blackcap’s fingers and pried the spear loose. With a tug of the shield mom it brought the spear back close to the shield where she took it into her empty left hand.

“Could you use it to grapple onto things and pull yourself towards them?” My question made mom give me a curious look and she moved closer to the ship and made the energy grab onto the railing above, she pulled and didn’t leave the ground. “Well it’s not a complete grappling hook then. Try making a propeller, attach it to the shield directly and get it spinning.”

Mom concentrated until there was an orange propeller shape clutching the shield tightly, it looked kind of like she was wearing a large clock on her arm. She started making circular motions with her right arm until the propeller started spinning rapidly, it produced enough air to blow her onto her back.

After standing up, mom scrutinized the shield. She started making the circular motions again, but then held the shield straight up and went up about twenty feet into the air when the propeller started spinning rapidly. She slowly fell back down, the propeller immediately stopped when she hit the ground.

After a moment of scrutinizing the propeller on the shield, she turned to me.

“I can’t fly with this, it’s not possible. The circular motions needed to do what I just did is like winding a rubber band, the tension will only last so long after it goes off. I need to do this while standing on the ground to build it up, but at least at least I can do assisted jumps with this. I can even make a makeshift parachute using the shield if I’m falling from way too high up… where did you get the idea for this Jade?” Everyone turned to me at mom’s pertinent question.

“Comic books, specifically Power Pony comic books.” Said comic books are sold in Ponyville, too bad the enchanted variety isn’t sold around there too. “Radiance can do something similar to what the shield does, only she’s not as limited to size, distance or range. You should read it mom, you’ll get a lot of ideas out of it. We can also get plenty of ideas of how to use the shield from some imaginative games of O and O. I’ve also figured out that the sustain effect would be really good against energy based attacks that don’t cause much of a physical impact. So who wants to help Kuril cook a moderate lunch for Palicoast? It’ll be first come first serve, while supplies last!”

-One hour of cooking later, Kuril-

A white furred, wild looking, Abyssinian with black spots and stripes sat next to me eating soup. Her longs ears twitched in appreciation and I could see a smile forming on her face.

“Did you hear I was cooking and decided to come running Savannah?” I addressed Jade’s old kitten sitter, she just chuckled.

“No, I just wanted to say goodbye again Kurilian… and eat your food of course.” I didn’t use her services often, but she was still considered a family friend. “Can’t possibly miss the Kurilian special when it’s in such limited supply around here. In any case, I hope you continue having good times in the pony lands mayor Kuril.”

“You’re plan for a town wide bunker is going to be approved Kuril.” I turned away from Savannah and to the approaching blonde furred cat. “I think we’ll eventually need it too.”

-Fizzle, a day later-

It was the moment of truth, we were descending towards the bright spot in the distance, the fire that Jade started and had yet to ever truly cease. Hopefully it never disappeared, if Jade disappears again it’ll let us know she’s alright.

There were a few new things about airship Mauled, but I’m sure we’d get an explanation about it quite soon.

“Come on, we’re almost there.” Jacky was slowly lowering us into place.

We were slowing down immensely and before we knew it, The Ardent Survivor had landed without slamming into Sekhet. Speaking of powerful immortal beings, where was the giant winged cat of riddles?

“See, we can land in Airship Mauled without crushing our favorite local goddess of exercise.” I jokingly said out loud, that got a few giggles all around.

“So… you’re not going to crash land into me on accident or with purpose today?” Sekhet walked up to the airship a glanced at us in interest. “Well that’s a literal load off my mind, also thanks for the new title… now I have to live with that for the rest of my life.”

“Sekhet, our beloved mighty goddess of exercise! Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t remember us having built a relatively small pyramid here.” After Jade mentioned it, we all turned to the pyramid sitting a distance away from the inn and restaurant.

Yeah it was a small pyramid just sitting on the outskirts of our town’s main building area. It had a large enough entrance for Sekhet and the sphinx did look somewhat particularly proud of it.

“It was taking you guys so long to get back, I decided to do something constructive with my time.” Sekhet gestured to the pyramid with her large paw. “Like build a home that is more befitting my great stature around here, bask in its geometric splendor!”

“Yeah, yeah, interesting and all, now where’s this wagon my guys live in with my sweet little Tarsus?” Merriami had already climbed down the side of the airship and was holding a happy looking changeling against her body.

Tarsus better be happy after all the trouble we went through for him, especially Jade getting hurt. Merriami was the one wearing the pants in their relationship and the changeling didn’t mind that.

“Speaking of our wagon, let us play you some music in thanks for helping out our good friend!” Clypeus was walking back from the wagon wearing his sombrero and he was smiling at us. “Tarsus certainly owes you more than we do friends, we would like to help him make up for all the trouble we put you through.”

“Oh thank goodness you’re back, Celestia and Sekhet wouldn’t stop fighting over cake!” Poor Cheerilee looked a little harried. Wait, Celestia knew Sekhet was living here now? I expected more destruction and to come back to a smoldering hole in the ground.

“It wasn’t that bad Cheerilee, you just have to know how to make the goddesses calm and happy.” Easy for you to say Fresh Start. You were the only one that could cook around here while we were gone and as such you wouldn’t be a designated target for anything that happens between the two goddesses. “Speaking of, I’ll never be able to ever look at them the same way ever again… they fight like little foals. So anything happen on the trip?”

Before I could answer, Maries pounced onto Jade and The Shapeshifting Siesta started playing.

Author's Notes:

This chapter brought to you by AT fields and AE's Sky Flyer.

Is the story too bizarre?

In any case, whatever a commenter has to say, it's time for a moderately large time skip! Also getting more mileage out of the violence tag. Before comment about the shield, let me just be clear that Radiance is the most broken Power Pony character ever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YxU2ACLF_w

(New Magical Alchemy Ingredients!)

19. The Knuckler (A Shield).

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Battle Barrier (Armor reliant ability). Creates a malleable and limited field of barrier energy that is very protective against low impact energy, ranged or weak area of effect based attacks.

Point blank the barrier energy can only operate within the radius of a foot from the direction the shield is pointing, at the maximum of ten feet away it can operate within a five foot radius. Field can be used for offensive purposes by generating weapons.

Can grab and move small objects with barrier energy depending on how much weight the arm using the sustain can support.

The weight of the shield itself is a problem. It cannot be used to move the wielder around with the grappling effect. Cannot be used to fly. Can be used for assisted jumping and gliding.

Any sufficient weight or force exerted on the barrier field is sent straight to the user, the chances for arm based injuries is increased by a factor of two while sustain is in effect.

Self-Sustain: None.

20. Chain Link.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: ???. (Effect seems to do nothing, need more information.)

Self-Sustain: Linked strength (Passive instant buff). While physically touching someone else that is close to the wielder, both wielder and ‘friendly’ target gain a ten percent boost to all stats. Clothing interferes in effect, must absolutely be making physical contact with 'friendly' target.

Due to how complicated the Alchemy list is getting, it will only be posted once more and then the magical alchemy used in any chapter will be posted in the authors note. Otherwise the authors note would become longer than the chapters themselves and that would be just plain ridiculous.

Chapter Nine, Exercises In Utility: Fizzlepop Berrytwist.

-???, One year since Airship Mauled was founded.-

Flames flickered and danced, making the shadows sway as the pony known as Fizzlepop faced down her opponent in the coming moonlight. Said opponent was a dangerous growling chimera, the fierce and powerful creature started stalking towards her.

Fizzlepop spread her hooves out and took a horse stance to show she wasn’t afraid of the chimera.

It probably wasn’t the best idea to challenge a chimera like this, but she had her reasons to stand up to this dangerous creature. She wanted to show everyone she was strong and just what exactly it was a unicorn with a broken horn can do, to prove that she was quite capable of taking care of herself.

The chimera lunged forward.

Fizzlepop rolled onto her back, braced her front two legs against the ground and brought her rear legs together. She bucked upwards catching the surprised chimera in the chest and barely avoided the paw swiping at her face.

Not only did Fizzlepop buck the chimera in the chest, she acted swiftly to get in another blow. Which required her to move with the chimera’s momentum and not let it press its weight down on her.

The world seemed to slow down. She twisted her front legs to press the bottoms of her hooves against the ground, she also pulled her rear legs inwards.

Fizzlepop’s current position was a scrunched up hoof stand, with a grunt of effort she pushed with her front and rear hooves and sent the chimera flying as she came back to a standing position from her backwards somersault.

She had used the chimera’s momentum against them twice, first when she bucked upwards into their chest and again when she bucked them away.

Fizzlepop didn’t look behind her, but the crashing noise and the resulting pained roar had her smiling calmly. She closed her eyes and waited, she wasn’t going to run. What she was doing was waiting for her opponent to come back at her, she could hear the chimera roll and get to its feet growling while also gasping in pain.

The pony slowly turned around and stared down the chimera and waited patiently as the chimera stalked towards her and started to circle her.

The shining cat eyes were seen in the dimly lit area, the reptilian eyes near it were glowing and the beady serpentine eyes behind them all was watching and waiting for the moment to join in.

The first hit went to Fizzlepop, she was going to play the slow game. She had to use hit and run tactics to tire the chimera out and avoid the tail to the best of her ability. It wasn’t the most dangerous thing about this chimera, but it was up there.

Fizzlepop was trying to analyze this chimera to see what she had to avoid and she was trying to remember what kind of biology she knew about their constituent parts. It was the same thing Jaded La Perm did when she first met Maries.

She leapt backwards and saw the barest flicker of a spark, she heard the sound of a cracking noise of something moving blindingly fast.

The pony narrowed her eyes and leapt to the left avoiding the whip like tongue striking where she had been within a quarter of a second. The tongue pulled back to the head that launched it and they seemed to smile tauntingly at the unicorn.

It was quite apparent that Fizzlepop was wary of the chimera as she shifted her legs and made a slow approach for the combination creature, it was quite a bit more dangerous than she had accounted for.

There was the barest hint of movement, Fizzlepop ducked under the tongue as it cracked like a whip barely missing her head. She moved in and quickly stopped to pull her head back from the snapping jaws of the other head while the tongue was still being reeled back in.

The pony did a rolling jump to her left over the chimera’s right paw swipe coming for her and then she tackled the chimera's side knocking them over.

While the chimera was knocked onto their side, the tail showed its true colors and sent a bolt of energy roaring towards Fizzlepop’s face in an attempt to get her to back off.

The pony ignited her horn and a majority of the incoming energy splashed off of her quickly summoned unstable magic. Some of that energy got through and made Fizzlepop grit her teeth in pain as she leapt onto the chimera's back as it was trying to stand up.

The aggressive equine bucked out her right rear leg and clocked the tail hard across the face when it tried to bite her. Having dazed the head she shot out her other leg smacking it under the chin and then reached out with both of her rear legs to wrap them around the tail’s head and squeezed tightly. She made that head entirely incapable of opening its mouth.

The chimera let out a growl of pain as Fizzlepop threatened to crush their rearguard head between her hind legs and thighs. Stretching the front half of her body, Fizzlepop wrapped her front hooves around the tongue shooting heads neck and squeezed it.

The energy spitting head couldn’t do anything if it couldn’t get its mouth open and the tongue spitting head couldn’t do anything while it was being choked.

-Fizzle-

“Yield or I’ll knock them out and continue on to you.” I stated firmly and squeezed the gagging lizard head between my front two hooves. The eel head stuck between my hind legs couldn’t do anything as it thrashed in an attempt to dislodge itself from me.

After a moment the thrashing ceased and the remaining head turned her eyes to me.

“You have proven yourself capable and the capability of your clan is recognized, without my two sisters being able to act I am at a disadvantage. You may release me now, I will not act against you.” I gave the remaining head a look, then I slowly released both the electric eel head and the lizard head. The panther head had a comment for when I eventually got off of them. “Our daughter is in good company. Just know that I went easy on you as you are one of my daughter’s beloved clan mates and your clan has its own rules of which I have to respect.”

It was Bloody Maries mothers, Bloody Traces. Tracer the panther head, with partner head in the front Tracia the lizard head and finally Tracy the electric eel tail head, they were the full package that was Bloody Traces.

Traces was quite scary to look at and thanks to her eel headed tail she was amphibious. Tracy had the ability to spit blasts of lightning and Tracia had what amounted to a whip for a tongue that can cleave flesh from bone with a single debilitating strike. The panther head Tracer meant they were all capable of tracking and seeing in the dark. Thanks to the strong panther front legs and the lizard style hind legs ending in webbed rounded toes, they could switch to bipedal form of locomotion like an Abyssinian and could climb walls or trees easily.

Compared to her larger daughter Maries, Traces was a bit small for a chimera. It was confirmed that Maries father Bloody Flames was much bigger.

“Do you respect our clan’s customs because an alpha of alphas is here mother?” At this point Maries knew we weren’t exactly a real clan. Like Jacky, she went with what she knew best. She knew quite a bit about how other civilizations worked now thanks to Cheerilee.

Civilization wasn’t exactly Maries cup of tea. They lived with it as long as they could continue learning how to fight from Sekhet, be around Jade in an annoying manner and had full stomachs when the day was out.

“No, I respect your clan for what it is. Something different and unusual to me and mine, but your choice is not entirely undesirable.” Traces three heads all spoke as one like Maries tended to do at times. “I even approve, they’ve got strong spirits among them even without the alpha among alphas watching over them and teaching them strength.”

“Well now that that’s over with, how about some dinner?” Yep, Kuril’s words caused a ripple throughout the crowd. I felt kind of sorry for Traces, she’d never taste anything quite like this again unless she kept visiting.

Also I utilized my horn for more than just imbuing, I managed to stave off a large portion of Tracy’s electric blast with it. That’s the win in my book.

-The next day-

Airship Mauled had a few families living here now, like Grace and Arizona the cows. They lived at the inn and were even running it for us. Grace was the overly friendly inn keeper that was also a milk maiden, she's slightly dim though.

The other cow, Arizona, was a young rough and tumble cow that started participating in our school and had a slight rivalry going with Mara specifically. She was also the inn’s protector and looked out for Grace, she didn’t have much to do in that respect as we only tended to get people that were passing through for a stop at The Witch’s Fare.

We had two earth stallions and one mare who lived at the farm built nearby and were helping our face dug field of crops grow quicker, the strawberries were certainly coming in quickly and constantly thanks to their magic. They were Mr. Mango L. Refreshment, Mr. Potassium Permanganate and Ms. Wary Berry.

Mango liked making fruit juices and growing said fruits, yellow coat and orange hair. Simple if friendly guy that knew how to grow various fruits, his favorite of course was his namesake.

Potassium was a fur and skin care doctor, dabbled as a scientist and fruit growing was a third passion of his. He had a blonde hair and dark brown fur.

As for Wary… she wasn’t actually a fan of fruit and was the quality control for our crops, she was here because it was hard for her to find a place where they’d accept her annoying habit of being overly judgmental of fruit. Said annoying trait was entirely related to her special talent and Jade certainly didn’t like her.

“So Airship Mauled has been around for a year, it’s hard to believe.” Jade spoke quietly staring at the clouds in the early morning sky, she turned back to her work of carving a large curved stick with her knife. “You did pretty well against Traces last night, imagine if they had been going full blast though…”

“Yeah, Maries mothers are not to be taken lightly because of their size.” Our little town was still cozy and if not for the minor strange occurrences or attacks that happened around here, then we’d be bored to tears. “It just goes to show that we're being trained well. I guess Sekhet really is the goddess of exercise and really loves being our physical education instructor. Also mom's rather lazy secretary.”

Weird things happened around here all the time, like the various Highland Pukwudgie attacks whenever someone says the words ‘Highland Pukwudgies’ out loud around here. We thought it was a fluke the first three times it happened over the last few months.

The first time had been when we were explaining to Arizona why Jacky had so much pirate paraphernalia and how Jade even met our lovable parrot friend, now we knew better than to invoke those troublesome well-armed mutant hedgehogs.

“Doing anything special today Fizzy?” Turning to Jade I raised a questioning eye. “I mean this town has been around for a year and we haven’t been crushed under all the highland… you know… those guys that attack whenever we say those specific words.”

I sighed with relief as Jade realized what she was about to say, she hadn’t invoked them and hopefully she never would again. I still didn’t understand why they were ‘highland’ pukwudgies specifically, but they could really hold a grudge for that battle at Sugar Cube Corner apparently. I personally think it was because we had the leader’s one eyed cockatrice detained.

“No, why do you ask?” If she had an idea, then I was quite willing to hear it.

“Well…” Jade started off only to be cut off by a familiar screaming friend running around with her tail feathers on fire.

Immediately Jade spat a blast of water in Jacky’s direction and the parrot was knocked to the ground by the water.

“Thanks Captain… I probably shouldn’t do things around the kitchen for a while.” At least Jacky never ran out of incidents to amuse or endanger us with, though I’m wondering how she managed to set herself on fire this time.

“Are you okay Jacky, how did that even happen?” A beautiful voice spoke as she came in for a landing near us, Fluttershy was a common sight around here when she chose to visit. She regularly popped in on the weekends to say hello to us and to in general talk to us about how the critters around here are doing.

She was getting in a lot of training for her dream job in Ponyville and would always talk to this one really weird white rabbit that was more aggressive than the rest of his entire species. At least the rabbit got along with Snickers the turtle dove.

“I was trying to make banana oatmeal, I just poured the milk into a bowl full of grain and oats. Apparently the moderate water and fat content of the milk combusted because I poured it wrong.” If it were coming from anyone else Jacky, I probably wouldn’t believe it like I do. Wait... how did she only set her tail of fire if it exploded in her face? “The potassium in the bananas might have been the main reason it ignited.”

“That’ll be interesting to look into, can you please write me a paper on why you think that happened later this evening Ms. Chickadee?” Cheerilee was on her way to talk to Grace, the two were good friends. “Also speak to Mr. Permanganate about it, he might know something.”

“Oatmeal are you crazy! That’s insane, oatmeal shouldn’t be able to catch fire like that… wait that sounds like a good setup to a joke.” Incoming Pinkie alert. Whenever Fluttershy visited, so too did everyone’s favorite peppy baker in Ponyville. “Oh I’m going to tell my best friends what I just came up with when I meet them… so did you hear the joke about the oatmeal?”

We were her best friends and she was already here, though she certainly had a lot of acquaintances in Ponyville. She was even becoming friends with two ponies named Applejack and Rarity.

“Maybe you should just ask Kuril for breakfast this morning Jacky, you’re not good at domestic things.” I knew she wasn’t, she really wasn’t. I turned to Pinkie. “Not too busy today?”

“Nope, I felt the need for a party and came running.” Pinkie looked really eager to start partying. She really needed to curb her enthusiasm a little, she sometimes did things that upset Fluttershy. “What’s the celebration?”

“Airship Mauled has officially been a town for a year.” After I said that, the pony known as Pinkie disappeared in a pink flash. “She’s going to get her party supplies isn’t she?”

Author's Notes:

Last time for the magical alchemy list before it get's it's own chapter.

Magical Alchemy list.

1. Fish Bones (simple).

Cast: Water breathing (Temporary passive water terrain survival buff). Breathing water as if you had gills, permanence can be achieved with repeated casts.

Sustain: Swimming efficiency and deep water survivability increases.

Self-Sustaining: Luminescence. Once used as a sustain effect, bones glow softly on their own.

2. Fish Scales (simple).

Cast: Fish Scale Skin (Temporary defense buff). Possible permanence with multiple casts, more effective underwater. Can be used to water proof objects.

Sustain: Water Projection (Continuous offensive ability). Able to spit or project volatile volumes of water, drains fluids from body with excessive use. You can actively control the volumes of water you project and how focused that projection is.

Sustain 2: Blood Projection (Dangerous offensive ability). Capable of performing a powerful projection, but only from open wounds. As one would imagine blood projection is exceedingly painful, taxing on the body and ultimately dangerous to the user. The intimidation factor might be worth the agony in the right situations, but it will always be a detriment to one’s health.

Self-Sustaining: None.

3. Raven Feather.

Cast: Survive a fall, fall on something safely or possibly target launches and falls on something by user’s choice or at random (One time air terrain survival buff, possible offensive spell). Target tends to end up freezing twenty feet above something living.

Sustain: Projecting thoughts. Not able to receive thoughts, but you can project them to others. Can project mental images.

Self-sustaining: none.

4. Sunlight.

Cast: Solar Flare. Creates a blinding light. Can only be used during the day time while standing in sunlight.

Sustain: Smoke signaling. Causes smoke to appear as if something was burning.

Self-sustaining: Warms the planet.

5. Knife.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Rogue Enhancements (Continuous passive buff). Heightened dexterity, agility and environmental awareness. Strengthens all mobility based buffs.

Sustain side effect: Inability to sleep or relax.

Self-sustaining: Trains muscles and exercises body for similar maneuvers used while wielding the sustain effect.

6. Knife Sheath

Cast: Traps one target temporarily (One use support spell). Time limit for stopping a target is the same every time for sheaths of similar design. Sheaths for different or larger weapons ‘probably’ improves time limit.

Sustain: Increased protection against knives, arrows and other small bladed weapons (Continuous passive buff). Warning: Does not protect against anything larger, or anything else for that matter.

Self-sustaining: None.

7. Alicorn Feather (Celestia).

Cast: Wings of sunlight (Limited air terrain mobility buff). Target is given wings of pure sunlight. Darkness, shade or shadows can weaken the flying power the wings generate, at night they'd be far less effective. The power of the wings can be combined with a knife's or similar sustain effects for improved flying ability. The wings might be extinguished by water and could be useless while it’s raining. Does not protect the user from gravitational or high speed stress and lack of oxygen at high altitudes like a pegasus would be by their magic.

Sustain: Redirect sunlight (Defensive support buff). Is only useful during the day and allows for blinding opponents or aggressors with light.

Self-sustaining: Minor protection from darkness (Automatic defensive buff while feather is on person). Needs to be charged with sunlight and to have been used as a magical alchemy sustain at least once to work.

8. Phoenix Feather.

Cast: Cleansing Flames (Support healing spell). Finds and stops negative foreign bodily ailment or ailments that are magical or mundane, does not heal damage. Can possibly stop positive ailments.

Sustain: Protection from the cold (Continuous defensive buff). Immunity to cold, increased defensive ability against ice and relative elemental based magic.

Self-Sustaining: None.

9. Jade’s Cloak, Cloaks in general.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: ???. (Effect seems to do nothing, need more information.)

Self-Sustain: Makes sneaking easier (Moderate stealth buff).

10. Cupcake (Banned by Kuril).

Cast: You don’t want to know.

Sustain: Likely none.

Self-Sustain: Delicious.

11. Frog Mucus (Banned by Kuril).
Cast: Magical wide area sticky substance bomb (Hard to get out of clothing).
Sustain: ???.
Self-sustain: ???.

12. Griffon Feather.

Cast: Feather Falling (Limited air terrain support buff). Lowers gravity’s effect on an individual for a minute.

Sustain: Double Jump (Continuous Mobility buff). Can jump off the air one extra time after leaving a solid surface and only one time.

Self-sustain: None.

13. Fish Oil.

Cast: Ignition (Multipurpose offensive and support spell). Ignites itself and anything around it except the user.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

14. Candle Wax.

Cast: Stiffness. Slow down a target, can have a wide area of effect for reduced effectiveness.

Sustain: Heat resistance (Limited continuous defensive buff). Does not stop heat damage entirely and candle takes heat damage in place of the user.

Self-Sustain: None.

15. Pepper.

Cast: Sneezing cloud (Limited continuous Defensive spell). Wide range spell that doesn’t affect the user, causes continuous sneezing on contact and doesn’t necessarily need to be breathed in to take effect.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

16. Tricorne.

Cast: Charisma boost (Limited status buff). Gives one the ability to walk around with confidence.

Side-effect: May instill need for showboating in user.

Sustain: ???.

Self-Sustain: ???.

17. Wood.

Cast: Bark skin (Temporary defensive buff). Make skin and fur tough like tree bark, like most casts can become permanent with multiple consecutive uses. Increases durability of objects when targeted. Causes mildly uncomfortable chafing on a living target.

Sustain: Hair growth in sunlight (Limited utility effect). Only works in direct sunlight.

Self-sustain: Magically enhanced building material.

18. Waffle Mallet.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Random confusion effect chance (Weapon specific offensive buff). While sustained, the hammer has a low chance to cause confusion and or dizziness upon any impact. Said chance goes up significantly when hitting the head of a target. The strength of the impact doesn't matter, effect can still happen with the barest of taps.

Self-sustain: none.

19. The Knuckler (A Shield).

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Battle Barrier (Armor reliant ability). Creates a malleable and limited field of barrier energy that is very protective against low impact energy, ranged or weak area of effect based attacks.

Point blank the barrier energy can only operate within the radius of a foot from the direction the shield is pointing, at the maximum of ten feet away it can operate within a five foot radius. Field can be used for offensive purposes by generating weapons.

Can grab and move small objects with barrier energy depending on how much weight the arm using the sustain can support.

The weight of the shield itself is a problem. It cannot be used to move the wielder around with the grappling effect. Cannot be used to fly. Can be used for assisted jumping and gliding.

Any sufficient weight or force exerted on the barrier field is sent straight to the user, the chances for arm based injuries is increased by a factor of two while sustain is in effect.

Self-Sustain: None.

20. Chain Link.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: ???. (Effect seems to do nothing, need more information.)

Self-Sustain: Linked strength (Passive instant buff). While physically touching someone else that is close to the wielder, both wielder and ‘friendly’ target gain a ten percent boost to all stats. Clothing interferes in effect.

Combination 1: Candle Wax + Oil (any) + Pepper = Chaos Candle. Candle hollowed out and filled with the other two ingredients mixed together equals devastating results.

Cast: Sneezing flash bomb (Offensive one use spell). Blinding, sinus wrecking and volatile magical cast.

Sustain Cast: Weak jet propulsion device (Limited air terrain support buff), Flamethrower (Limited offensive spell). Doing this will slowly destroy the candle and chemicals used in it. Exhaust fumes has a lesser effect of casting with pepper.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

Combination 2: Feather + stick + arrowhead (material any) = Arrow. Arrow + poison = special status ailment added to casting effect based on poison used. Pukwudgie Poison (Paralysis for a few hours).

Cast: Arcing Arrow Beam (Offensive spell). Fires a beam that is effected by gravity as if it were an arrow, it can only damage one target and that’s the first thing it touches. If it grazes a wall and then hits you, it will do nothing to you.

Sustain Cast: Spray of multiple weaker beam shots.

Sustain: None.

Self-Sustain: None.

Combination 3: Sustained Fish Scales + ambient ice magic = Ice projection.

Combination requires outside source of ice or freezing magic to wield. This combination has no cast or sustain capability. The wielder of the fish scales can alter projectile size and shape until the ice magic runs out or a sufficient amount of water from the fish scale wielders body is lost.

Chapter Nine, Exercises In Utility: Jacky Blackcap Chickadee.

-Jacky B. Chickadee-

My luck must be in full force this morning.

First I fell out of bed onto my beak and that always stings. That’s where my days always tend to start unless I somehow get out of bed the correct way.

Next I only got three sixes from the judges for the stumble down the stairs, only because I didn’t make musical noises while doing it.

Don’t they realize how hard it is to top the musical noises I did while falling down the stairs that one time that started an entire musical number? I believe ponies call them heart songs. Also since when was Cheerilee interested in judging my unlucky pratfalls anyway?

Following that I tried to make banana oatmeal for breakfast… and promptly set my tail on fire. I just wanted to take a little work off of Chief Cook Kuril, she just does so much for everyone around here and I wanted to do something nice.

Something nice like take care of my own needs so she wouldn’t be bothered with having to for a day so she could have more time for herself. Thankfully my Captain helped save my tail feathers and they weren’t too scorched. I just had to wipe the blackened bits of oatmeal off of them.

Cheerilee gave me a request to figure out how I lit the oatmeal on fire, while not actual homework she was quite curious. I didn’t have to do it, but I really wanted to as she was both a good friend and teacher.

After I finished breakfast and got a hug from Kuril for trying, which was a nice and bright point in my day, I tripped over a rock exiting The Witch’s Fare. I sighed, picked it up and just looked at it.

The rock ruffled my feathers quite a bit, but something was familiar about it.

“There you are Boulder, what have I told you about getting under other people’s hooves? Bad rock.” Insert Maud, Pinkie Pie’s sister. She spoke, acted and moved blandly, but she was really quite friendly despite her constant mostly expressionless face. “Sorry about Boulder.”

“It’s alright Maud, you don’t need to apologize for your pet rock tripping me up. Did Pinkie drag you all the way here for something?” If there was one thing I liked about Maud, it was that she was easy to talk to and was a good listener. “I swear your sister could power an entire fleet of airships on her energy.”

“She said I’m here for a party with her friends.” Here Maud sighed and I felt for her.

“Yet you don’t like parties, sweet things or several other things about your hyper sister.” I’m not blind Maud so don’t look faintly surprised, parrots had pretty good eyesight. “You still try to like them for her sake at least.”

“Yes. Don’t tell Pinkie.” Maud looked away from me only vaguely upset. “I don’t want to upset her.”

“Don’t worry, I can keep secret.” This was just a calm moment before the storm of bad luck. ”Loose lips can sink ships as any pirate will say.”

“Thank you.” Maud nodded and walked away, while holding onto Boulder.

I took two steps and I heard a rumbling, looking up I saw a cloud crackling with lightning hovering above me.

It was just going to be one of those days wasn’t it?

I dove forward as I felt the air around me become charged with energy. A lightning bolt exploded the ground behind me and then the cloud turned into a rainbow.

Of course it did. Why wouldn't an unnaturally aggressive cloud try to look cute after doing that?

Yes, just continue being an adorable rainbow after dropping what would have been imminent pain on me had I not dodged you! …. I was okay.... just covered in dirt from the lighting exploding the ground.

If you think that was the worst of my day, it hasn’t even started yet. I stood up and stretched out the bruises.

“Are you okay there Jacky?” It seemed Captain saw the lightning and came to see if I was alright.

“Just fine Captain La Perm!” I was learning to anticipate random occurrences of lightning now, so that’s a new skill for me to utilize to its fullest effect. In fact, I was beginning to get a feel for imminent danger whenever my luck turned south on me. “The lightning missed me entirely this time.”

“Well okay then, but you might want to watch out for…” I was turning away from her to go talk to Potassium about how I managed to do what I did with the oatmeal. Only I got a face full of turtle dove knocking me onto my back. “Snickers.”

I sat up, causing the turtle to flutter off of my face and land in my lap. I looked at the turtle dove, she looked up at me and began cooing cheerfully. This strange little flying turtle named Snickers, supposedly Jade’s familiar, was apparently trying to cheer me up.

Familiars were an odd thing to hear about, but it certainly explained how pony’s pets lived as long as the ponies do. Any being with a lick of magic in them can bond with an animal and that animal can eventually become a familiar, said magical bond of companionship shared a number of things between the two beings involved.

For animals with ridiculously short lives, it was always a pretty dramatic extension to how long they could live for. According to Jade, it’s why some animals actively sought out ponies to be friends with.

Fluttershy had been asking around if a flying squirrel needed a home or friend on my behalf. When she eventually found one, I hoped we were compatible enough to form such a bond like what I saw building between Fluttershy and the rabbit she named Angel.

A strong familiar bond was like what Celestia and her phoenix familiar Philomena share. Another familiar bond was like what Angel the cantankerous rabbit and Fluttershy were starting to build. Jade said it hadn’t formed fully yet, but it was only a matter of time before the two were companions for life.

I felt our little friendship and love seeker put her flippers up against my belly and began to nuzzle me, I accepted it for what it was. Snickers making an amiable attempt to make me feel better as I was having a lousy morning.

I simply patted her on the head and then set her off to the side, she gave me a slightly upset look.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me. Shouldn’t you be more worried about what’s going on between Maries, Jade and Fizzle?” The turtle made an odd gesture with its flippers that I didn’t understand and she seemed very excited that I brought up the subject with cooing and hissing, I shrugged and continued on my way. “Whatever, go bother Jade about it. Maybe see if Grace will play with you, she’s always open for fun.”

Snickers flared her wings and started flying towards the Helping Hoof Inn, the cows named it that and it stuck. So it was what it was.

“Hey Jacky, I need to talk to you! Come on in to my pyramid.” What could Sekhet possibly want to talk to me about? I can understand if she wanted to call Jade for something or maybe even Kuril, but me?

I don’t know what my luck could have possibly done to the goddess. In fact, I think I was the only one of my close friends that didn’t have to answer a riddle yet. Sekhet also didn’t focus too much on me, but she did mention that she was looking into my luck and why Jade wouldn’t just cast a phoenix feather at me, in fact Kuril also refused to do so.

It was a bit telling that they could not cure my luck problem, at least not currently. Give them some time and the right item to cast with.

Sekhet shrunk down to her alicorn size as I walked into her small pyramid lair, it was kind of cozy in here. Nice air flow, cool, but not too cold. That’s just the entrances hallway leading into a throne room that split off into two separate guest rooms, an armory with nothing in it and an empty treasury. Then there were the stone stairs to the three rooms on the upper floor behind the throne.

Despite not having a horn on her head, Sekhet was definitely well recognized divinity around here for having built this place. Anyone can see why her throne room was central, someone would have to get by her to get anywhere in her ‘relatively’ small pyramid. It was made with her full size in mind as a Sphinx, but it was made to let ponies and the like get around in here too.

She sat down on the stone flooring and patted it, she was meeting me at my level and not on her large stone throne.

“What can I do for you Sekhet?” I was almost too afraid to find out.

“I wanted to discuss how you view your luck, if you’re not too busy.” That’s all Sekhet wanted of me? Okay, what’s the catch here?

Since I’m thinking of it at the moment, did she possibly install traps in this place? I wonder if she had a rolling rock trap that is set off by a pedestal with a specific weighted object on it.

“Um… okay.” I took a seat on the sandstone floor, this place was alright and there was a certain magic in the air. I was getting used to that feeling. “What about my luck?”

“Have you ever thought that maybe it isn’t actually that bad?” Did Sekhet truly miss seeing me nearly get struck by a bolt of lightning outside? I gave her a flat expression, she waved her right paw at me lazily. “I mean, you obviously have a lot of good things going for you for someone who has as many accidents as you do.”

“Are you going to dance around the subject and lead me to an answer slowly, or are you going to get to the point and flat out tell me what you think I should know?” I crossed my arms and waited for her response.

“Look Jacky, you’re a perceptive bird and I’ve been looking into your problem for a while now, but I’m supposed to be a goddess that does things in the mysterious and long drawn out way.” She titled her head at me and flicked her tail. “Would you truly begrudge your beloved goddess of exercise for having some fun?”

“No, I’d begrudge you for not telling Jade about why you keep calling her a priest.” That’s something I never understood, Sekhet called her Priest Jade quite often. “What aren’t you telling her?”

“Not calling her Captain? Odd moment to drop that verbal tic you’ve kept going since you came here… and all just for me. I feel special.” There was no need to mock the mortal girl Sekhet. “What I’m not telling her is that no matter what she does at this point, she will always be a sun priest if she stays true to herself and I’ll continue recognizing her as such unless something drastically changes in her personality.”

“So it’s more of a title that does nothing?” Where was this conversation headed exactly? “Also I’m sure you’re going to tell me something like all my bad luck is coincidental and it’s all in my head.”

“Believe you me, when things happen as much as they do around you.” She smirked. “It is hardly coincidental.”

“Meaning?” Was my starch reply.

“You’re unlucky in general, but you’re always lucky where it truly counts the most to you. I think you’re positive attitude is a counterbalance to your bad luck and I wish to improve on that attitude through a simple conversation about how you feel your luck has done its worst to you.” Was Sekhet seriously doing what I thought she was? “I mean your luck led you to escaping your island, it got you a lot of friends, family and a new life. All surely horrible things you don’t care about, especially for the low price of those constant daily inconveniences you have to personally deal with. You’re lucky you weren’t born a goddess. Our problems are way more complicated than your little trifles and infinitesimally short life compared to my own.”

“You’re using your power of war to fight my traumatic morning with words aren’t you?” If she was as powerful as had been implied to me, then Sekhet could fight war in any way, shape or form as long as it can be called a war in some way.

Currently she could be fighting a war of attrition with her heart about showing more compassion to us all, she’d be losing it right now since she wants to help me work through this.

“Warring with my own emotions is something I do more often than you’d think.” She was quite relaxed as she took to laying on her side while continuing to look towards me, she was at least letting me know she was paying attention to me. “If it’s outside your control then why be angry at yourself for being incapable of changing things? You should change what you currently can for a more favorable outcome, if you can’t change something then look for help from those around you to change things in ways that you can’t. If that doesn’t work, then become strong enough to change it yourself or help others become strong enough to change things for you. Nothing is impossible in this world, I felt the ascension of a filly becoming an alicorn some years back and she is now Celestia’s adopted niece. A fledgling goddess of love, but no less powerful for what she is and has yet to truly realize her true potential and strength.”

“You’re actually lecturing me and giving me good advice… who are you and what have you done with our airship landing pad?” Technically we didn’t have one of those and The Ardent Survivor had yet to be destroyed, so it was the one airship that was living up to its name.

In fact living up to its name is why Kuril wanted it to have that name in the first place, it wouldn’t be an energetic survivor if it was destroyed in its first twenty flights. It made trips to Ponyville relatively simple and it could even carry a good amount of cargo back home easily.

“Heh, very funny.” Sekhet sat up and looked at me seriously. “Think on this. Would you trade what you have right now for all the good luck in the world? I mean the life you live currently, memories, every friend, every decision, your family and everything you own. Would you trade that all away for ceaseless good luck that never ends, knowing that you’d never see any of us ever again?”

“If I was always lucky…” I considered the possibilities, I admit I sat there for a few minutes with a goddess staring blankly at me. A smile formed on my beak. “It would be a really poor trade Sekhet, I’d rather make my own luck and continue on as I am!”

“Good answer.” Sekhet smiled at me fondly. “Let me tell you the story of the Misfortune Malachite and how it hurt the Abyssinians.”

Author's Notes:

Airship Mauled Magical Alchemy Story Appendix will be up soon.

New alchemy information will pop up in the author's notes, but it will also be added to the appendix.

Chapter Nine, Exercises In Utility: Jaded La Perm.

-Jacky-

“You mean… but that’s horrible!” I could hardly contain my feelings about what I just heard. “Do Jade and Kuril know about this?”

“It is horrible. So when you say you’ll make your own luck, just don’t do it in exactly that way specifically. Nothing good can come from removing luck magically, good or bad, from anyone's soul. A lucky charm that deafens bad luck is perfectly fine though, just so long as the luck isn’t removed.” Sekhet flew over to her large stone throne and laid down in it. I idly wondered what her feathers would do for Kuril and Jade, probably something incredible at the very least if it was a feather from a goddess. “I think all Abyssinians learned from that sordid bit of history of the Misfortune Malachite, so I’m certain they know. Which is why it's thoroughly sealed away. You may go now, I have no more to discuss with you.”

“I guess I have to go hug one of my best friends now. After that I can get back to what I was doing.” I turned to leave, but I stopped. I turned around and climbed up onto the Sphinx sized throne with the alicorn sized Sekhet and she gave me a curious look with a frown. I crouched down and hugged her gently around the neck. “Thank you coach, for making me see things in a different light. And for haunting my nightmares with that horrific story.”

“You are welcome… friend.” Sekhet hugged me back hesitantly, it almost felt like she was afraid to hug me back or acknowledge that we were friends.

Sekhet had acknowledged Jade as friend and that was about as much as we got out of her all those months ago when we went to Klugetown thanks to her help.

Sphinx was cranky at times, a glutton at her worst and a real drill instructor when it came to running us through our paces, but she really cared about us.

-Jaded La Perm-

“Jacky’s not having a good morning.” I sat down at the fire and Arizona snorted loudly.

“What else is new? I’ve only been here for a little more than a month and even I know she’s a walking disaster area.” Says Arizona, the young cow that had anger issues, likes destroying things with her horns and couldn’t be left alone in a shop of full of ceramics. “How are you still friends with her, didn’t you say her luck nearly got you killed several times?”

“Her luck, not her personally. She’s a loyal and trustworthy character as they come, for a quasi-pirate parrot anyway.” I kicked back and relaxed. “Jacky’s been getting more skilled at dodging her own luck and eventually she’ll utilize the signs to avoid her bad luck entirely… unless she can figure out how to use it to her advantage.”

“I’ll work on that Captain!” Chirped a cheerful Jacky as she approached and gave me a strong hug. “I’ve got some things to ask you and your mother about later. Right now I’ve got to go ask Mr. Permanganate about some combusting oatmeal.”

“That and she always bounces back.” I could feel my lips turn upwards in a smile. “Speaking of utilizing unique talents, you got a new use out of your horn, so that means there’s still quite a bit of utility in it.”

“Yeah… I guess it’s not as useless as it looks huh?” Watching Fizzle self-consciously put her hoof to her horn made me feel a bit bad about not searching for solutions more actively to help her fix it. I’ve been a bit busy helping the new people settle in. “I still need to exercise it as well as my body.”

“You can exercise all you want, but it takes some real gumption and heart to be strong.” Arizona stood up and stared at Fizzle. “You put in the work and I’m sure you’ll eventually get results. I’m going to see how Grace is doing with that strange turtle with wings.”

“You better not hurt Snickers!” I was beginning to really like having a flying turtle for a companion. I didn’t treat her like she was special at all and she liked it, plus she could mostly took care of herself anyway. “You do anything to her and you’ll have to answer to me Zone.”

“Oh I’m so scared. I’m not going to hurt your little critter friend, not without a good reason anyway.” Snorted out Arizona dryly as she started towards the inn. “I’m just going to make sure that she and Grace aren’t causing any trouble for each other.”

“So have you learned anything interesting lately Jade?” At Fizzle’s question I look at the fire and thought about it. There wasn’t much going on today, aside from Pinkie setting up her party stuff.

“I’ve learned that sustaining my pack creates more space in it, but I can’t drop the magical sustain without all the stuff safely exploding out of the pack.” I was about to continue when I noticed Fizzle opening her mouth.

“How does you’re pack count as a singular object when it has stitching, flaps and other things on it?” She was looking at me with curiosity now. “I’ve never thought about it before, but the cloak you gave me is like that too right?”

“As long as everything is tightly bound enough together to count as a singular object, then it can be sustained as such. There’s all kind of rules to it that mom and I have yet to work out, like how a slider for a zipper is still considered separate from the sustain since it’s considered its own thing.” Which gets confusing because the rules for magical alchemy were like an ancient dead language to us, but we were doing pretty well at making new discoveries. “The self-sustain for the pack is really quite interesting.”

“Really? Since when were self-sustains interesting.” My lovely and wonderful pony friend Fizzle, you had little faith and you could use some more. “They are both rare and are hardly very useful for anything, they are mostly just minor and quirky side effects of sustaining an object. A cloaks effect of improving stealth being the exception.”

“True, self-sustains are rare and are equally rarely useful like that, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be incredible.” That made her quirk and eye at me, so I elaborated with a friendly cat smile on my face. “Like say for instance my packs self-sustain perfectly preserves food, water any anything else put into it, said objects will always come back out the same as they were going in.”

“Tell me, because quite frankly that sounds a bit absurd for a self-sustain, how in the world did you figure this one out?” I’ll sate your curiosity Fizzle, I've nothing better to do.

“I accidentally left a bushel of strawberries in there for a few days.” I looked away from Fizzle feeling really sheepish about the incredulous stare those bright beautiful eyes were sending my way. I could feel the blush on my cheeks as I went to go get my pack and I came back with it, I sat down and pulled a strawberry out and tossed it to her. No mold, no fuzz and definitely as fresh as the day it was picked and washed. “Try it, it’s been in my pack for the past week. I put it in after I washed it, it’s still in the same state as when I put it in.”

She just looked at the strawberry and then to me, she then turned back to the strawberry. After shrugging, she popped the entire thing into her mouth and chewed. She hummed loudly at the sweet taste in her mouth and eventually swallowed.

Ponies could easily consume the leaves of a strawberry, but I didn’t personally like the leaves even if they had some health benefits.

“Got anything else of interest in the world of magical alchemy to hear about Jade?” Fizzle sidled up next to me and leaned her head towards me. I instinctively started petting her and she sighed. “Just out of curiosity. There’s not really much else going on around here at the moment other than Pinkie and she is really going.”

I turned to look at Pinkie as she zipped around in a blur and party supplies were appearing out of nowhere, even Maud was slowly watching Pinkie zip around setting up for the one year anniversary of Airship Mauled.

“Well I do have one other thing…” Here I had a pony leaning in close to me with a beatific smile as my fingers traced one of her ears. Her eyes were closed and she looked happy, I was glad to be the one putting a smile on her face.

“Well what is it Jade?” Fizzle rested her head in my lap and my fingers moved to gently fondle her mane. “Don’t keep me in suspense here.”

“Well that tricorne I kept for myself from my pirate adventure has a sustain that allows me to find things of monetary worth more easily. As for the self-sustain it can…” My voice slowly dropped off as she gave me an exceedingly lazy look. “Well it’s really annoying, I’ll say that much.”

“Annoying how?” She muttered with a lilt in her voice at my caressing her neck.

“It makes you entirely capable of whistling enjoyable jaunty tunes, which can lead to a heart song. I’m not even capable of whistling normally, take it off my head if you feel a musical number coming on.” I pulled the hat out of my pack and put it on my head. “It’s much easier to show you what I mean than it is to explain it.”

I started whistling a bit and then a tune started to build from what I was whistling.

The tune was one I was quite familiar with and then music started playing out of nowhere, yep the innate ability to whistle while I was wearing the hat tended to do this. I didn’t need to whistle while wearing the hat, that I could control, but once I got it going however…

“I am the very modern model of a friendly Abyssinian, with my sharp claws, loving friends and incredible wits there’s all kinds of battles I can win~.” I started singing, of course it would be to that rapid back and forth tune. “Ever since I came here I knowingly fell in love with a certain Equestrian~.”

“She fell in love with a certain equestrian, she fell in love with a certain equestrian, she fell in love with a certain equestrian~!” Oh good Maries was my backup three part singer, this can only end well when the song was over with and she gets angry at me for singing about Fizzle and not her. Maybe a I could swing it neutrally?

“She has bright and beautiful eyes, a wonderful spirit that just never dies, and if she ever asked I would date her with no lies~.” I paused for a second, nope couldn’t neutral the song. I better think of something quick. “Because that may very well lead to own my demise~.”

Fizzle just stared at me with a concerned expression and a small smile playing on her lips.

“She’s likes snuggles, hugs and The Witch’s Fare. I really hate the music that’s now in the air, because there’s not really much that could quite compare… to the finery of the soft mane that belongs to such a lovely mare~.” While the song wouldn’t crack, I still managed to get in my distaste for it while still praising Fizzle. “Now would be a very good time, to stop me from singing in a metronomic rhyme, especially before I make the Maries cause a violent crime~!”

There was now a blush permeating Fizzle’s face.

“Oh we wouldn’t really hurt her she’s our friend too mate, we really wouldn’t hurt her she’s our friend too mate, we really wouldn’t hurt her she’s our friend too mate~!” All of Maries was giving me sad and upset looks.

“I swear to you that you are the best of friends to me Maries, I might be able to love you too and here I am stuck with quandaries~. So please don’t kill me if I say I love Fizzle… please~? I swear to you my heart might have room for four so if you can just put my mind at ease~!” The music paused as the Maries walked over to me scrutinizing me with angry looks and I was soon slapped across the face by three separate tongues, they walked away smiling back at me. Did chimeras do herds? Oh goddesses I involved fizzle, what did I just do? The music started up again. “Well it’s a relief that I’m not dead, for another day I guess I’ll keep my head, if there’s one thing about all this that could be said~… Fizzle you ridiculously beautiful pony blow this freaking, damned and blasted hat off instead~!”

The hat was swiftly blasted off my head by the cute and completely red faced Fizzle, yet the musical number didn’t end. The music kept going and it just dragged me along with it.

“Apparently that really didn’t stop the song, so unfortunately for me I’m still going be singing along~. I seriously swear that I’ll avoid whistling with this hat again in a manner that is wrong~.” I grouched out loud as the Maries sang their three verses of my last few words. “Mara your strong with equally nice and really fierce eyes, Maria you always got tough sharp horns and can always with insights surprise, Marie you’re the smartest one here which probably means you likely know how to make rubber vulcanize~. Maries you’re a wonderful being, and ‘that’… no one here has ever really said or denies~.”

“So this song is coming to end and with my claws, wits and wonderful friends I can bear it~.” One last verse and I could finally stop this embarrassing mass of magical torment. “I’m the very model of a friendly Abyssinian, I’m at least quite thankful that I wasn’t born a ferret~!”

I heard laughter and turned to Arizona, she wasn’t the only one around that was laughing.

“Sure, laugh at my expense because of the magic here in Equestria forced me through that Zone, see if I care.” I suddenly received a pair of lips to my cheek from Fizzle and she hugged me affectionately. Okay that felt a bit better… then Maries hugged us… which felt a bit worse because she was getting really quite strong. Eh, I’ll call it even in the end.

“Maries… you’re… crushing us…” As soon as she heard my choked words, Maries let us go and we received three sheepish looks.

“That was amazing… I want to try it!” Pinkie put the mostly undamaged hat on her head and began whistling the same tune, much to everyone’s horror.

“No!” Everyone dove for Pinkie, even a wide eyed Maud as Boulder leapt from her hoof for Pinkie.

-Twenty minutes and several rounds of a highly show tune filled noodle incident later-

“You were right Jade, that is a really quite annoying thing for a self-sustain to do.” Well at least Fizzle agreed that we shouldn’t whistle while wearing the hat, but I wasn’t going to destroy it. It was my personal souvenir from my lovely time with Captain Gash. “There’s quite a few things I really liked about that song though.”

Author's Notes:

(New magical alchemy info!)

16. Tricorne.

Cast: Charisma boost (Limited status buff). Gives one the ability to walk around with confidence.

Side-effect: May instill need for showboating in user.

Sustain: (New!) Sense unclaimed treasure.

Self-Sustain: (New!) Gain the ability to whistle jaunty tunes, even if you can’t naturally whistle. Increases chances of heart songs occurring.

(New Alchemy Ingredient!)

21. Pack.

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Storage capacity of pack magically increases (Continuous equipment specific utility buff). When sustain drops, a number of objects fly out of the pack without destroying it until carrying capacity normalizes. No weight canceling effect.

Self-Sustain: Stasis Storage (Permanent passive equipment upgrade). Anything that goes into the pack does not deteriorate and will always come out in the same state as it was when put in.

(Added to Chapter X, Magical Alchemy Appendix.)

Chapter Nine, Exercises In Utility: Kurilian La Perm.

-Maries-

It seems we have a challenge.

Yes, we do indeed have a challenge.

It is not a challenge you two, I want you to stop and think about what we’re going to do before you do something stupid. I’m a full brain to your two halves.

Really Marie, how is it not a challenge to earn the affection of two unique and strong beings as they?

Well Mara, for one we’re not dealing with another chimera here, two trying to treat them as challenges is belittling them as the thinking beings that they are and three our very nature might be a problem in the pursuit of having multiple mates that are not like the rest our species. They are likely to not be open to the idea of us being with the both of them and there will be friction to it.

Friction… two or more objects or surface areas acting against one another while moving?

Oh good, you can remember Cheerilee’s science lessons Mara, I thought I was the only one out of the three of us that takes our schooling seriously. I’m talking more figuratively, another definition for friction would be more emotional, as in a clash of wills, temperaments and opinions.

I do take our schooling seriously. Physical education with Ms. Sphinx is my favorite part of a school day and I think we have learned a lot from her. Also that kind of friction sounds fun and like something we’d do.

That actually wouldn’t be fun for us Mara, we do not want to be at odds with the ones we’re attempting to court. I agree with Marie based on what we want to achieve, it will not be easy. Even if we were all to work together.

Look at the both you. Growing brains, more so in Maria’s case anyway, I’m so proud of you my sisters! Also before you say anything Maria, I’m absolutely open to the idea of strengthening our bonds around here. It’s just that we have a lot going against us here, Jade said she might have enough room for us and ‘might’ is a pretty hard word to take as straight truth and a sure thing. She seems to be getting much closer to Fizzle as if they were slowly gravitating towards each other. They have not started courting, but it’s only a matter of time

…

…

Can we stop them?

Maria that’s dumb and you should feel bad, we do not interfere in the courting of others. It just wouldn’t be right.

Okay now I’m concerned about our mental state when it’s Mara that’s being the reasonable one. Where did our aggressive brain go?

I know, I’m scared too Marie.

I sometimes dislike the fact that we share a body, but I couldn’t live without either of you.

Aww… thanks Mara.

No, I meant that literally Marie. From what Jade says, a chimera can’t survive or even regulate their body without at least two live heads.

Sounds correct to me Marie, is it any wonder why I’m always the cautious one.

Let’s agree that we’re all a bunch of jerks.

Agreed.

Agreed.

So… how do we proceed?

We argue mentally for the next hour and eventually agree that we can’t make up our minds about how to proceed with courting either Jade or Fizzle. Then we wake up with our face buried in lunch thanks to the Matriarch Kuril.

That certainly sounds like us Mara. So how do we start this argument Marie?

Let’s see, oh I know how to start our long internal monologue based argument!

Wouldn’t it be a multi-logue argument considering we’re three separate beings in one body?

That’s not how I wanted our argument to start!

Yes it is and you know it Marie!

-Kuril-

“Hello… huh, well I guess Maries are in deep thought.” I simply placed Marie’s head on the table and made sure both Mara’s and Maria’s heads were just as comfortable. I continued on my way outside to see Pinkie running around and was almost finished with setting up the celebration. This was going to take a lot of clean up afterwards, she was going all out. “Are you done yet Pinkie?”

“Give me five more minutes… this is my biggest set up for a party yet. I really need to learn how to plan ahead for occasions like this. Hmm… maybe emergency stashes all over the place.” The pink blur stopped in front of me giving me the biggest puppy eyes I’ve ever seen on a pony and Fizzle’s were pretty big. “I forgot to ask, can my sister Marble and Limestone come too mayor Jade’s mother ma’am?”

“Call me Kuril and of course they can, provided you can get them here in a timely manner while still setting up for the party.” Three… two… one. Cue my words causing both of Pinkie’s eyes to go wonky directions and her mind trying to cope with problem of having to do both at the same time, oh and one of them even started twitching. I really like how adorable ponies are.

Now to go talk to my embarrassed daughter about her cutely singing her declaration of love, I wonder if Fizzle will actually take her up on it and ask my sweet little tom cat out on a date to Ponyville. I figure dating here would be kind of a drag, because they’d be dating in front of their mother if they chose to eat at The Witch’s Fare. At least I know to avoid whistling if I ever have to sustain my hat for any reason.

I made my way up to my daughter’s room to see how she was feeling.

“Are you okay my little tom cat?” I looked into her room to see her face in a pillow.

“You heard the song and dance number right?” Jade mumbled into the pillow.

“Yes, I thought it was kind of nice. At least Fizzle knows how you feel and I guess you don’t mind the Maries liking you either.” Though the chances of me ever getting grandchildren is looking quite slim, I was okay with my daughter’s choices. “I take it you’re very embarrassed about it?”

“Yes…” She said in a muffled slightly upset tone. “Why is it wherever ponies’ live there’s magical music?”

“I wouldn’t be able to tell you, I’ve only been here for about a year and it’s still very weird how spontaneous the musical numbers are.” It truly was a miracle of life to watch a bunch of ponies or my daughter randomly break out into song. “I think Fizzle reacted positively to the song, so I really don’t understand why you’re moping. Also you’re right, her hair is quite soft and yet it looks so stiff with the way she has it styled.”

“It’s not that she reacted positively that I’m worried about. It’s that Maries might have reacted negatively.” Yeah, that could put a damper Jade’s day.

“Negatively how?” I was crouching next to my daughter’s bed and she lifted up her head to stare at me.

“I might have drawn Maries attention to Fizzle and I don’t want her to have to deal with Maries advances like I do.” So Jade had a slight issue with the idea of a multiple partner romance and admittedly I don’t know how Fizzle would react to Maries suddenly showing her affection.

“Has Maries overstepped her boundaries?” If you needed help, you could just ask me for advice Jade.

“Not really, but I’m afraid of that eventually happening. The ball is in both their and Fizzle’s court now, whatever they decide to do is what will happen.” Jade was silent for a moment and I was about to say something until I saw her ears twitch in a particular way. She was about to say something else, so I held my tongue. “Do you think Fizzle will ask me on a date? I really wouldn’t know what being on one would be like, but I know for a fact that I’m still not ever wearing a dress.”

“I think she will eventually, you just have to be patient kitten. As for what to do while on a date, just be yourself and don’t do anything too horribly bizarre or different from what you would actually do.” I had to ask just to get a feel for the situation. “What do you think a date entails?”

“I think it’s all about spending quality time with someone you like. Usually by going to the movies, eating at a restaurant and or going to a nice place to relax.” She sat up and gave me a flat look. “The chances of doing that normally in Equestria without anything interrupting the date in an over the top explosive manner are really quite low. That’s a factor on top of friends trying to interfere with or even following the two that are on said date around. Said friends will cause wacky hijinks while trying to hide the fact that they are attempting to eavesdrop on what should be a private party for two.”

“Well then, I’ve got nothing else to tell you. You apparently know everything about dating already, it’s only that you’ve never been on one or experienced it personally.” It turned to leave the room, but not without one last word to my daughter. “Also yes, having people mess with you on a date is a time honored tradition in all nations. I wonder what Jacky, Arizona or even Maries will get up to when you go on one with Fizzle?”

“You’re just making me dread it even more mom.” She looked a little tweaked, was she tweaked? Yeah, that look in Jade's eyes was tweaked.

“Just do what makes you happy Jade, I know it’s why I can smile as much as I do.” I smiled and left her to her thoughts, I had to go pick up the dented shield I’ve become quite fond of using for unusual things.

I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen to start cooking lunch, I started wielding the shields magical sustain to grab the ingredients and move things around the kitchen. It required that I move the shield and concentrate on what I wanted the energy to do.

The utility of the shield was really quite wonderful, I wonder why my Jaded didn’t want one that weighs a less than this one did. A slightly lighter shield wouldn’t be that much trouble for her to wield right? It’s not just the weight or the size, it seems like she’s avoiding shields as much as she does staffs.

I was thinking something along the lines of fudge brownies today for a snack, it’d certainly be something Pinkie wouldn’t think of for the party. So I started making some from scratch, this would require that I make some chocolate mix with oil for a chewier chocolatey goodness. I knew my daughter would appreciate it, even if she didn’t like chocolate nearly as much as she liked fruit based baked goods.

What should I make for a meal, what haven’t I made recently for lunch? Oh… I had an idea! I gathered lettuce, cheese, tomato, corn flour and beans. I turned the projection from the shield into a comb of knives and brought it down on the lettuce roughly slicing into chunks all at once with the dull energy blades.

It’s too bad I couldn’t make the blades sharper and that was just another limitation of the shield’s magical sustain. I was going to make some tacos for lunch. I’d leave the grilled fish, guacamole, sour cream and hot sauce I’d make off to the side.

Jade doesn’t like guacamole or hot sauce at all, but she loved sour cream and a good fish taco. In a similar vein Fizzle loved fish and sour cream, but guacamole also wasn’t to her taste. Jacky like them all so no complaints there. Maries would eat anything. Arizona would like most of this stuff too.

Actually I could do a quicker solution to a meal today and make it something everyone can enjoy, a make your own taco bar! I just need to prepare all the fixings and let everyone else handle what they wanted. Maybe an option for nachos too, did we have jalapenos? I don’t know why my daughter despised spicy things, I loved spicy foods personally. Maybe my Jaded just had too sensitive a palate for it.

As I grated the cheese using the barrier energy as a multipurpose kitchen tool by generating a flat barrier with a cheese grater style surface. I just made simple up and down movements of the shield while holding the cheese to the grating barrier.

I eventually came to a conclusion about why Jade doesn’t want to use a shield. It concerns the fact that the shields sustain require more focus than usual to wield correctly, it would be hard to use it while moving and Jade was more about evasion than deflection.

She preferred the use of her knifes sustain effect almost exclusively, she still trains and exercises while using it when going through physical education with Sekhet.

Having to wield more than one sustain that requires some form of prolonged usage would be counterproductive and Jade already carried a griffon feather and fish scales on her at all times.

The knife doesn’t require much more than a tap to get the magical sustain going and you didn’t need to focus on what you actually wanted that sustain to do, unlike this shield I’ve taken a shine to. Jade always used her maneuverability to its fullest while mock fighting against Jacky, Fizzle or Maries. Arizona and Jade haven’t exactly fought yet, but it’s only a matter of time before Sekhet puts them up against one another.

Sekhet is exercising them like warriors, but at least she’s not pushing them too hard and is letting them move at their own pace. The choice is up to them whether they pursue combat training after the exercise regimen Sekhet puts them through.

Arizona was already a really remarkable cow for having so much muscle for someone so young, she’s younger than everyone else and she could keep up with the kind of pace that Maries is known for setting.

With that thought. I just continued on to scaling, fileting and preparing the fish myself. I’d let Jade get a nap in today. Her problems were entirely based in her social life and she needed to work that out.

“Um… Kuril.” I had just gotten the pan onto the stove, when I turned to see Jacky coming into the kitchen looking disturbed.

“What’s the matter Jacky?” I always had time for my girls even when I was preparing food. I hadn’t put the fish to the pan yet, so I didn’t have to focus on that. “You know you can call me mom if you want to.”

“Well… Sekhet told me a really disturbing story about something called the Misfortune Malachite.” My poor little Jacky, I gave her a comforting hug. Did Sekhet really have to give one of my girls a nightmare story about that thing? “Is it true?”

“Is what true Jacky?” There were many tales about the Misfortune Malachite. What did she hear?

"That the Misfortune Malachite traps the souls of those who died wielding it?" She was clearly upset, I gave her a wan smile.

"It actually does far worse than that." I guess she should know the truth about it.

Author's Notes:

Fine... I'll ask.

Any questions or comments?

Also, since Roc's exist. So to do elephants.

Chapter Nine, Exercises In Utility: Fluttershy.

-Jacky-

“Why would someone make something like that?” That it was a real thing was awful to me, somebody actually made something to concentrate bad luck and turn it into a malignant form of power.

It worked a little too well from what Kuril was telling me, turning all good luck to bad and powering itself off that to eventually kill someone who holds onto it for too long. It only got worse if someone actually tried to actively use the Misfortune Malachite’s power, it positively radiated bad luck even when you didn’t use it.

Recovering from the Misfortune Malachite could take anywhere from a few days, to years depending on how much you wielded it before getting rid of it. Even destroying it was an exceptionally bad idea all around, but at least the curse would eventually end if someone did do that.

“I don’t honestly know what the people of the past were thinking, but I’d assume they made it with good intentions.” Watching as Kuril started making another tortilla in the pan, she had a stack of them going right next to her, I shivered at the thought of those who created such a dangerous mystical artifact. “I know one thing for sure, that cursed thing is safely sealed away. As long as it doesn’t get any more powerful, then it won’t threaten the whole world or eternally torment any poor soul that ends up holding onto it for too long. It has a counterpart called the Good Fortune Garnet. Would you like to hear about that? It's a much nicer magical artifact. It isn’t nearly as bad, just hard to use. ”

“There’s something else out there like the Misfortune Malachite?” I asked with a bit of horror.

“Yes, but the Good Fortune Garnet was made in a way that prevents it from doing horrible things like the Misfortune Malachite.” She turned to me with a more upbeat smile than she previously had after explaining the Misfortune Malachite to me. “For one major difference it couldn’t take anything from its surroundings, which was the Misfortune Malachite’s biggest problem. It can only temporarily give from the user to another and no one who is greedy can wield its power since it specifically only works for those who wish to use it in helping others. That's why it’s so hard to wield, it requires a completely selfless heart to give up their own luck to another for a while. I don’t honestly know where it is now, but the artifact was likely made by the same people and the pegasi were the last to have it. Say, do you know the history of your people or Ornithia?”

“Not really, do you?” Well that was a load off my mind, the Good Fortune Garnet sounded much friendlier version of the Misfortune Malachite. It required the user to sacrifice for others and since said sacrifice isn’t permanent, it doesn’t horribly upset the balance of things in the way that Sekhet told me the Misfortune Malachite does.

“No, but I wanted to at least ask a parrot about it.” Kuril sounded a bit sad to not know anything about Ornithia. “I apologize, I forgot you were stuck on an island for most of your life and have never been there.”

“Don’t worry about mom, I’m not upset.” Yeah a visit to Ornithia would be nice, someday I’ll travel there and explore it to my heart’s content. “I’ll eventually want to go there someday, just to see the where parrots like me originated from. Maybe I’ll even get to see or meet a harpy.”

“Be careful if you do. Harpies are considered wind spirits, thieves of food and are punishers of evil in a rather loose sense.” You know what Kuril, that sounds like someone the Captain would be happy to be friends with. Except for the food stealing part. “Specifically, they go after those who do not keep to their word for whatever reason. They don’t care if people get caught in the crossfire once they start dishing out their form of justice. Plus, unlike parrots like you, they can actually fly and are dangerous even when they’re being friendly.”

Okay, forget Captain liking a harpy for a friend.

-Fluttershy-

Airship Mauled was always a strange place to visit, but at least I was getting in some practice with my special talent here.

I had an afterschool job that was helping me make money so that I could find myself a nice home near Ponyville, all while I was taking my own courses in animal care on the side. Once I graduate at sixteen, I can move out to start my dream career in caring for all kinds of cuddly animals!

I was still a young filly and I couldn’t put the entire world on my withers yet. The world was really quite scary in so many ways. I was even still scared of my own shadow sometimes… also loud noises, odd sounds, ponies that speak to loudly like Pinkie or Rainbow do sometimes, Nightmare Night, thunder, other ponies in general and dragons. I was absolutely and rightfully terrified of dragons.

If some pony wonders why I want to live in Ponyville and not here, well it had to do with location and need. Ponyville was civilization and had a marketplace and resources. Here they really didn’t have much, but at least they had each other. They also really didn’t need an animal caretaker out here, Sekhet kept most of the larger animals at bay with her very presence. As for the smaller animals, they don’t really cause problems or need too much help here.

It was a nice place to visit every once in a while, but I wouldn’t want to live here. No offense meant to Maries or Sekhet, but they were a little too scary and intense. I was always meek around unknown ponies, but around here that wasn’t really a problem and I wanted to step my hoof slightly out of my comfort zone.

Being here was quite comforting, even if it gets attacked by pukwudgies infrequently. It was just so nice to take a break from life and sit by the campfire here with my friends and this slowly building community. A place where my much busier life could wait for me until tomorrow.

Oh, is that Snickers!

The flying turtle was so adorable and sweet, it liked making friends with everyone and didn’t mind that Jade didn’t take care of her all too much. I would have told Jade off for not caring for her pet well enough, but Snickers didn’t want me to and she preferred to take care of herself.

Snickers really liked how Jade treated her, like a friend instead of the pet and owner dynamic people would expect of the two. I respected her wishes on that, she did have the final say in what was entirely her business after all.

If Snickers really wanted Jade to do something for her, then she’d just tell Jade herself what she wanted. From the story Snickers told me, Jade got out of bed early in the morning to get her some water when she was getting really dry and hardly complained about it.

Speaking of turtle doves, I still have yet to find any information on them. From what Fresh Start has told me, they are very rare and unusual magical creatures. Ones that were powerful in an unspecified way, how powerful could a little cutie like Snickers really be?

This led to me thinking about how I was learning so many dialects by coming here. My special talent was really very unique in how I could utilize it. I could understand and even talk to animals as long as I exercised my talent frequently.

At first I couldn’t really communicate all too well with anything, mostly I could only read body language at first. After learning my first animal language, which was how to speak bird, my whole world opened up to the many possibilities. Once I eventually figured out what each tweet and twitter meant that is.

I could also speak some squirrel, rabbit and mouse, they weren’t very complicated and shared similar vocalizations to one another. Gopher and beaver was still very hard for me to learn. I’d eventually work my way up to being able to talk to all the cuddly animals, and I do mean all of them!

“Hello Snickers, how are you feeling today?” Snickers landed on my nose and hugged me with her flippers, she started cooing and hissing in a friendly manner.

“Oh that’s nice of Grace, have you eaten anything recently?” I received more cooing from the winged turtle that tickled my face with the green feathers that blended in with her shell. “Really? Jade seemed so embarrassed after singing all that, I know I’d be embarrassed if magical music made me sing about how beautiful I think Gilda is. Please, don’t tell anyone I told you this, but she’s a really pretty griffon even if she’s quite aggressive and a little too possessive of my best friend Rainbow Dash.”

After I said that Snickers said something that had me blushing, I guess I understood reptiles well enough to know what she was saying to me. Well half of what she said sounded like a mix of reptile and bird, I’d have to talk to a few snakes to be sure though.

“What, no, I don’t think she’d like me nearly that much! She calls me a dweeb and thinks I’m weak… mostly because I am.” Snickers just nuzzled my face and said something about seeing strength in my eyes, I didn’t understand what she meant nor did I catch every word she said. What she said next I did understand quite clearly, she told me I’d eventually find love that worked at my own pace. She then took off for The Witch’s Fare. “Uh… that’s nice?”

I shook my head and went to sit down next a contemplative and slightly angry looking Fizzle. Why was she angry? She was blushing and smiling after weird song Jade sang out loud in front of everyone, but now she looked a bit upset. Also Angel was here and he came over to sit with us while staring at me in an odd manner.

“What’s wrong Fizzle?” I asked while petting the bunny with my hoof.

“Nothing is actually wrong Fluttershy. I’m just a bit angry at myself.” What did you have to be angry about?

“Why?” That was the simplest question anyone could ask.

“It’s Jade… what does she even see in a broken unicorn like me?” That’s no way to talk Fizzle, Jade really likes you and I know it. You like her a lot too, you hardly ever let her go too far away before you follow after her. “I can’t cook, I’m only vaguely good at cleaning, if you haven’t noticed my slightly sour personality leaves something to be desired, I’m not exactly fit to be called beautiful with this scar on my face and to top it all off I can’t even protect Jade from herself! Violence might be one of the only things I’m really good at, so why does she expect me to ask her on a date? What can I really offer her aside from a different perspective?”

“A pony she likes and wants to make happy.” It sounded simple to me, but also a bit complicated because they were different in so many ways. I don’t understand dating, after being regularly bullied by stallions like I am, but I knew what love was like. “I think a date might help you work out your current relationship issues as friends. I wouldn’t know if it actually could, I’ve never been on one personally. You two are really great friends, it could give you an opportunity to talk things out.”

“Maybe so, but I’m also coming to terms with what I see in her. She’s impulsive, she likes jumping off of high places, she’s a bit of a glutton, she doesn’t care for her appearance all too much, some of the things Abyssinians do in general disgusts me, she doesn’t look to the future too often and she’s just as awkward as I am. Actually… that last one might be a good thing.” She stared at the fire for a minute before turning to me with a look of sad wonder in her eyes. “She’s definitely got her flaws, but despite that she’d put herself in harm’s way for me in less than a heartbeat. I really don’t want her to endanger herself on my behalf! She helped me learn to imbue things with magic and made me stop my silly quest to get my horn back. I don’t even know where to start with that myself except for finding something magically powerful! She said she’d even help me with that, I know she meant it too even if she has had absolutely no progress.”

She sighed and put her hooves to her face looking quite glum. I looked to Angel and tilted my head towards Fizzle, he crossed his arms and glared at me. He was a very spirited rabbit, but he was also so adorable it was hard to take his attitude seriously.

I stared at him a bit more and he finally threw his paws up in the air and caved in to what I wanted him to do. He went and snuggled up against Fizzle while being as cute as possible, it made her smile a bit and she start petting him gently.

“You know I was wandering aimlessly before I ended up here. Without my quest to fix my horn, who was I as Fizzlepop Berrytwist? A nonentity, with no direction, going nowhere. If Jade and I started something, how would I even support her? She can already do several amazing things with magical alchemy alone that would help her make money easily. Maries could even hunt and keep her fed and is stronger than me. Jade… she doesn’t really need me.” It wasn’t exactly healthy to compare yourself to a chimera Fizzle. “I want to show everyone what I can do, but I’m having problems even coming up with something that's completely my idea alone. I’m not one for traveling around and being a show pony, using magic for me is quite draining. I already know what I’m talented at, but it’s not exactly a full blown paying job now is it? I can distract, I can learn to fight, I can think, but at the end of the day I’m still me and my special talent feels very limited by this stump of mine.”

“It's not your horn that Jade cares about, it's you! You must know that. I know what it feels like to feel helpless Fizzle…” How can I not when other pegasus ponies make fun of me for not being able to fly so well? I also get bullied because I’m always meek and scared. My best friends are animals and or beings far outside my own species, except for you, Rainbow and Pinkie. “I think Jade does need you, as a friend and maybe a special some-pony if you’re willing. She's not pressuring you.”

“I’m afraid she'll stop caring about me...” Muttered Fizzle as she clutched Angel Bunny to her.

“It’s okay to be afraid.” I know this from experience. "It's what you do with that fear that shows everyone exactly what you are truly capable of."

Author's Notes:

So there's a little drama.

Chapter Nine, Exercises In Utility: Zecora's here!

-Fizzle-

I was still afraid of being abandoned, even though I logically knew I was loved.

Though I feared waking up from the dream I was living, I managed to enjoy the party.

My sleep was going to be uneasy dreams… or they could just be of me sitting under a tree in comfort with my friends.

They were all so close to me now, I just needed to get my anxiety under control.

I truly wanted to ask Jade out on a date after she gave me an open invitation to, but I couldn’t do it any time soon if I’m going just to doubt myself among other things. I wanted to be of a completely sound mind when I asked Jade out.

Aside from the anxiety, I think I can get through this evening just fine.

-The next day, Zecora-

I have been traveling for a while, it’s been far more than a single mile.

I really don’t need to think in rhyme, but it helps me gather my thoughts. I shoved a bush out of my way and tried to find the way towards the place of a rumored alchemist or witch. The zebras I spoke to couldn’t agree on what she was talented in, but they said her food was magical at the very least.

Apparently this witch of good taste lived out here in a little know place, it is something I wished to see for myself with the eyes in my face.

Pushing another bush out of my way, I came upon a sight rather queer. It was quite unusual an empty place with signs of a party having been here. There was a large amount of destruction, what had happened?

I stayed in the bush and looked about. Nearby I could see farm lands, two boats turned into buildings and a flying boat that looked alright and untouched.

None of the buildings were damaged, but the ground had the prints of wild elephants around. Also marking of tentacles, humongous feathered wings and several other curious things. Elephants weren’t even native to this region or at least I didn’t think they were, well I did see a giraffe or two. Whatever made those markings on the ground, it was no elephant.

“Something terrible must have happened here! Hello, is any pony near?” I looked through the destroyed party stuff and eventually found something moving under a banner next to the fire.

I quickly hurried over to it to see, if someone was in need of me. Lifting the banner, the reaction wasn’t what I sought, much less the appearance beneath the banner was not someone injured that I thought.

“Excuse me, I’m trying to rest here after a one eyed flying purple pony eater attacked last night.” The pony before me had purple blunt cut hair, judging by her clothing she looked to have been roughed up by something larger than a simple mare. On the whole she looked perfectly healthy. “It tried to eat one of my sisters, one of the friends I made here and a resident at the nearby farm. I was displeased with that state of events.”

“It seems like the creature was truly quite massive, also why do you seem so passive?” Especially after an attack from a creature as large as the one that made the tracks through this area. There were a few other curious things around here and quite amazing to me, because how did I not notice that pyramid until I got this close? Also the fire had a powerful magic surrounding it, more than needed for a camp where marshmallows will toast. I took note of the foot prints and the markings in the ground not moving anywhere close to the fire. “Furthermore tell me about this place I have found, why is there no one around?”

“Well my sisters all went home and are safe, but I stayed here to help clean up the mess I made. I should get on that. Also the creature clearly chose the wrong place to attack, especially when the goddess got involved.” She was really quite bland, especially for a mare of the land. “My name is Maud Pie. This is my pet Boulder. This place is called Airship Mauled. I’m going to start cleaning up now, my sister overdid it on setting up this party and I think all of this might be salvageable.”

“Maud do not make me pout, what was the party about?” It certainly seemed as if she was the only one around and I just stumbled across her sleeping on the ground. Also her pet was a rock, an admittedly old one with about six hundred years of history to it. “Where are the people who live here? What has happened to them, I ask in fear?”

“It was to celebrate the one year anniversary of this hamlet being formed. Everyone who lives here is okay, most of them are just off dealing with a pukwudgie attack. The ponies who live at the farm and the inn keeper are still here.” What pukwudgie attack was Maud talking about? I didn’t see any of those dangerous creatures around, but they are native and could be found everywhere in the nearby forests. “Saying the word ‘highland’ around here is taboo because they keep attacking whenever someone says highland pukwudgie or pukwudgies.”

A single pukwudgie charged out of the bush I had been in, much to my very shock as it was the only bush around there and it was open ground all around. Where had the pukwudgie been hiding? It hadn’t been big enough for the both of us.

Maud didn’t react too much to the creature’s single minded aggressive charge. We just watched as it slammed into an invisible wall of some sort a good distance away to fall onto its back. She calmly walked over to it and turned around once close enough.

With a one hoofed buck, she sent the pukwudgie screaming for the horizon as she picked something up off the ground and moved it over to the building pile of damaged party supplies.

She was so calm, and she hadn’t exactly reacted wrong. At least I knew now not to say highland pukwudgie around here.

“Do you know when they’ll be back, at least a place I can have a snack?” After I asked that an answer was swiftly given for free, Maud just pointed out The Witch’s Fare to me.

“You can wait in there or go talk to the inn keeper.” After she said that she continued to pick up the remains of the surroundings. “I’m going to stay here another day and take soil samples myself, I’ll see you around I guess. My sister could still use all the shredded stuff for Nightmare Night parties.”

“Thank you Maud for your time, hopefully the inn keeper has some thyme.” This is where I proceed for the Helping Hoof Inn, hopefully a bit of thyme tea will slake my thirst.

Upon entering the inn I was met with a counter and yet another strange sight, a turtle with wings carrying little orange ball back to a blonde furred cow.

Said adult cow was sitting cross legged behind a desk, she held out her hoof and the flying turtle dropped the ball into the peaceful looking cows hoof.

“Thank you Snickers, do you want me to throw it again?” She had a rather gentle voice and I cleared my throat to get her attention. “Oh hello there, do you want throw the ball too? You can give it a go if you want, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind chasing after it again.”

The turtle landed on the desk and sent me a questioning gaze, she looked to be an intelligent being that was not easy to phase.

“I am not here for the ball, much less throwing it against the nearest wall.” I figured I was addressing the owner of this inn, I hoped to get a room here. “I am Zecora maiden of a mother’s love, is that creature a turtle dove? I would like a room here if you will, also a snack that can fill.”

“Yes, but don’t get to excited about it. She doesn’t like anyone fawning over her because of what she is. Thank you for noticing that my mother was a lovely person.” After stating that she leaned forward against the counter. “Also my name is not Will, it’s Grace. Would you like some already chewed cud?”

“I would like to decline that offer so kind, do you have anything else in mind?” I did not want to tell her what I really thought, a sickness in my stomach is what that brought. “Something a little more to my taste, I do not want your cud to go into the nearest receptacle of waste.

“Well we do have milk and cookies for paying customers, I even made them myself.” Honestly, was this cow as strange as she sounded? I’m beginning to notice she has an airy way of speaking and as gentle as she is, she doesn’t sound like she has much going on upstairs. “Until Arizona made it a rule to not eat more than three cookies a day.”

“Can you tell me from your seat, are the cookies safe to eat?” My words made her look thoughtful for a moment.

“Well I baked some oatmeal cookies and they are completely safe as far as I know, there are no ingredients in them that a pony wouldn’t use.” That sounded okay enough to me cow named Grace. “You don’t mind organic cookies right?”

“Cookies like those I would certainly take, but tea is something I’d rather make.” I don’t think I’d want to drink her milk.

“Tea? Sure, that’s fine by me, just share some with me and Snickers.” Grace seemed quite pleasant and I wouldn’t mind sharing a cup of tea. “You can use the kitchen. Here, let me sign you in Ms. Zecora!”

I was given the clipboard, there were not many names on the paper. Clypeus, Labrum, Labium, Tarsus, Kevin and… is some pony out there seriously named Big Mclarge Huge? I shook my head and just signed my name.

“I must ask how much do I pay?” I queried quite flatly. “As in how much will it cost to stay?”

“For free, only pay what you feel like if you want to.” Really, that sounds a little too nice, Grace didn’t seem to be hiding any ulterior motives. “It’s not like Arizona and I have that much need of money at the moment, we're a completely friendly operation here at Airship Mauled.”

“I believe together we will drink, while having an intriguing discussion I think.” It’s been a while since I exercised some of my knowledge. There is more than one use for my shamanistic practices and alchemy. “I will fix us a nice herbal brew, then we’ll have tea for more than two.”

It seems Snickers the flying turtle approved of my plan to make tea, it should be quite safe for her to consume.

-Jade-

“Okay Fizzy, now that we’re back after that bit of trauma. I’ve got something to do to stop you from moping about me having to rescue you from the monster last night.” I could hear Fizzle grumbling that she wasn’t moping. We were all covered in scratches and nicks from having to deal with puckwudgies… again. “You’re also moping about the fear that you’re not important to me. Well guess what, I’m not going to stop caring about you Fizzle and you shouldn’t be afraid! In fact, mom… I’m going for a highly volatile friendship moment. Jacky help mom prevent anyone from interfering in our moment. Also stay out this Maries, this is between me and Fizzy!”

Maries had been about to say something before I told her off, she obediently sat down. Cheerilee looked worried, she had held up pretty well for having been dragged into a pukwudgie fight with the rest of us. Even Fresh Start got in a few good hits in that fight. We all walked away with minor injuries to show for it, but all the pukwudgies would hopefully stay in traction for a while.

“Really Jade? Fine, my daughter just can’t do things by half or let you mope in peace Fizzle.” Mom absolutely had Fizzle confused. “Give me your stuff, then do it to get it out of your system my little tom cat.”

I gave my griffon feather, knife, the new sheath for the knife and my fish scale necklace all to mom. I proceeded to walk up to Fizzle with only my clothes, my claws and absolutely no magical alchemy. Unless I wanted to use my clothes and I didn’t.

“Fizzle do you really think you’re not strong enough to be my friend, do you think I’ll stop caring about and for you?” I wouldn’t and never will, but what I was about to do would horrify some of the group that helped us stave off another pukwudgie incursion. “Is your anxiety and the resulting sleeping problems really that bad?”

“Yes, it is that bad.” She stated quite clearly.

“I don’t think it is.” I walked forward crouched down so that my eyes met Fizzle’s and I pulled back my hand and slapped her hard across the face. “Fight me!”

“Wha… what are you…” She was crying and I slapped her again, she quickly grew angry and retaliated with a hoof to my chin. Knocking me onto my back, she looked like she immediately regretted it. “Jade… I…”

“Fizzle, you are going to fight and hurt me.” I pounced for her and she rolled away looking at me with the general wide-eyed deer look. “Whether you like it or not, I will make you kick my ass!”

“Why would I ever want to do that?!” I kicked her chin, flipping her back. I jumped on top of her to start hitting her. She knocked me off with a right hook to the face and she bucked me in the stomach, I grunted as I folded around her hooves. “Please stop Jade, I don’t want to…”

I charged for Fizzle and leapt onto her back and she started bucking wildly as I punched her in the barrel repeatedly. She eventually slammed me into the ground by rolling over on top of me and after pinning me to the ground she gave me a split lip with her next hit.

Fizzle then did something particularly brutal to me, in her anger she grabbed both my arms while I was dazed and pulled. She reeled back her head and butted me hard. She dislocated both my arms in a sickening manner and I almost blacked out from the pain. She hit me one more time and was about to again, only stopping once she realized I was helpless.

“Why Jade?!” She was quite angry with me. So I explained myself quite succinctly.

“You can’t be sad and moody… if you’re angry." I smiled at her horrified face. Forcing my left shoulder back into it's socket, I quickly propped myself up to kiss Fizzle on the lips, I held that kiss for a short while. "You’re a beautiful and strong pony Fizzy, also a rather silly one.”

I lifted my arm and poked her nose gently.

"See, you're stronger than me, if only you could see how I see you." I smiled to her. “Fizzy... I know I could wait an eternity for you.”

Author's Notes:

I don't know whethter to take this story seriously or not... I'm conflicted about the one eye purple pony eater part and the end of this chapter.

Chapter Ten, Ass-assins and the "normal date": Talking Contract.

-Fizzle, two months later-

I woke up with a start and I was feeling alright with the world, in my hooves was a sleeping Jade and I found myself feeling really conflicted about snuggling her like this. I was also conflicted that she was okay with being in the same room with me.

How can she sleep so peacefully after what I did to her months ago? How can I? I’m surprised that nobody absolutely hated me after I did that, they all almost unanimously sided with me. I didn’t know how to feel about that. I was happy that everyone around liked me, but at Jade’s expense?

Why do I even still like Jade? I should not want anything to do with her, yet there’s something compelling about her actions and why she did exactly what she did. She brought out my insecurities and showed me that strength wasn’t everything, after all what did my strength do other than hurt her? She hadn’t even screamed and she just took it, her tolerance for pain was just plain absurd.

Why did Jade even do that to me? One thing was sure, Jade hadn’t actually attacked me with her full ferocity and I did far worse to her than she did to me.

Jade might have been a huge jerk, but being angry at her was hard when she was apologizing for it all so well without having to apologize out loud.

Now that I’ve had time to contemplate things, I noted that she had never even used her claws against me. She got aggressive with me, sure, but she never gave me more than a few mild bruises. I bloodied her and wrenched her arms out of their sockets and she, sort of, made me do it. Only my actions were my own, that she gave me a smile and a kiss afterwards had me both angry and scared in a different way.

Nobody even said a word about how I pulled her arms out of their sockets or even helped Jade force them back in. If she wanted to prove to me that I was strong and cared for, that had to be one of the absolute worst and dumbest ways to go about doing it. Making everyone hate her, just so I’d know that they’d care for me even if I did something horrible. I’m still more than a little confused about it even now.

It had pushed me towards training with Sekhet to get a handle on my emotions, I remembered she was quite knowledgeable about the subject. I had yet to ask her what she thought of the situation, but she didn’t seem upset with Jade at all.

Didn’t Jade know how upsetting what she did to me was? I didn’t want to be like Maud, but I wanted at least some control of my anger towards Jade for pushing me to hurt her like that. I was angry at myself for actually hurting her. Jade actions were just so frustrating and out of nowhere!

I guess she was actually making it up to me by letting me cuddle her. She really didn’t have to do this for me, but it did make sleeping easier at night and she was a really comfortable pillow.

Now I felt a blush running through my entire body, I couldn’t think of my current position without feeling a bit awkward about how much I liked it. She’s average or less than average in appearance by Abyssinian standards, but to me she was something beautiful, special and unique. She still was, but it was only slightly muted by her odd actions.

Logically, Cheerilee and Fresh Start were both a bit scared of me after that. Yet Jade was still willing to lay next to me and let me cuddle her at night to prove there were no hard feelings. I was having trouble coming to terms with this and no longer feared that I couldn’t protect her, I feared that I cared for someone who was a bit sanity challenged.

Surprisingly enough, this made me feel normal and that’s probably what she was aiming for. Normal in the sense that my horn was definitely something along the lines of yesterday’s news. I had a broken horn, but I wasn’t going to cry too much over it anymore.

She didn’t want me to be hurt, but I still wanted to protect her. In the same vein she wanted to protect me, but I didn’t want her getting hurt on my behalf.

Maybe that’s why I’m not as upset as I could be, we both wanted the same thing. To keep each other safe, even if it meant getting seriously harmed for it. Insert the painful tiebreaker Jade set off, so we'd hurt each other. She showed me just how much we could hurt one another and it was so easy for her to do, starting with a single callous action.

It was totally stupid, Jade forces me to hurt her physically while hurting me emotionally. She upset just about everyone she cared about doing it. She didn’t even care it’d change how people thought of her.

She wasn’t afraid of being hurt by me, but I had been afraid of being hurt by her. I was more worried about her now than ever and was actually less scared of being hurt by her. I’m still trying to figure out how that works!

“Still upset about what Jade did to get you to stop being so anxious?” I looked up at mom, she was up earlier than usual as she walked towards us. She sat down on the edge of the bed and tussled my mane affectionately. “You seem comfortable my adorable unicorn daughter.”

“Oh I’m still anxious, but about completely different things now. My previous anxiety was obliterated when Jade decided to go through with her idiotic plan, why did you even let her do that mom?” I asked as I clutched Jade tightly and nuzzled her neck, she was a heavy sleeper. I had finally asked the question that had been on my mind, mom let this happen and even knew what Jade would do. Why didn’t she stop Jade from doing something it? Better yet, why didn’t she stop me? Everyone just let us fight. “Also, why did it take you so long to come talk to me about it?”

“I’m glad that you’re still calling me mom after what my Jaded made you do to her.” You’d always be my mom Kuril, I wouldn’t ever want to disappoint you. “Jaded has been a bit upset that you wouldn’t be her friend anymore after what she did. I let her do it because she wanted to make a mistake and she felt like it was the right thing to do. Do you forgive her for it?”

“What kind of question is that, it should be obvious!” I was still snuggling Jade after all. “Of course I forgive her, how can she ever forgive me?! She didn’t go all out against me and barely even bruised me at all. I temporarily crippled her!”

A friend I still loved despite her highly flawed plan actually working. If it was flawed and it worked… was it really flawed to begin with?

“She psychologically scarred you Fizzle, my kitten deserved exactly what she got for doing that to you. Just know that that was just as hard for her as it was for you.” I wanted to tell her that Jade didn’t deserve what I did to her, but I couldn’t.

"Things just haven't felt right around here since that happened." I sighed loudly, putting my face against Jade's shoulder and smiled a bit. Wait… why was mom holding a camera? I blinked the spots out of my eyes after the camera flashed.

“Now that’s a real keeper.” Kuril smiled warmly at the picture she was holding. “It’s almost like that fight never happened.”

"Oh believe me, it did." Sarcasm was a form of defense right? "I was there for most of it mom."

“I swear you two will drive each other insane. I did say she would do crazy things in the name of love, but that took the cake and then some.” She showed me the photo she just took of me nuzzling Jade, I could even see the smile on the cats sleeping face and the blush showing through my fur on my own smiling muzzle. I could feel my heart slump a little at the adorable sight. ”I’ve been punishing Jaded in my own way and I think her punishment is just about up, just think about all the meals we’ve been having and you’ll know what I’m talking about.”

“You haven’t made potato stew once ever since Zecora started staying here, also you’ve held back on giving her desert for dinner.” Her favorite meals were practically banned and here I thought I had been cruel to her, at least I hadn’t taken away Jade’s favorite meal or sugary treats. “You aren’t the only one punishing her, why hasn’t she said anything about how you’re all treating her? I’m the one that beat her up! Why am I the victim? She’s as much a victim of her own plan too!”

“She has you, she doesn’t need to say anything. She’s perfectly content with whatever punishment you’re willing to ask of her that will lead to forgiveness. I would have told her to continue staying away from you for a while, but you already went and approached her anyway. I think punishing her with affection isn’t the best way to go about things, but it’s your relationship.” She shook her head with an amused smile. “Now come on and get up, no reason for Jade to wake up next to a beautiful face in the morning. A reminder, its Jacky’s birthday today. Despite the fact that you’ve already forgiven her, never forget that it happened or that my biological daughter is weirder than you think she is. You’re my daughter too Fizzy and I don’t like seeing you two being so quiet around one another.”

I loved Jade… those last words she said to me on that day before we spent the rest of it in silence were quite ominous. We didn’t talk after that and today, I would try to talk to her.

She could wait forever for me to ask her out on a date, could I do the same for her?

-Jade-

Mom was right, love will make me do crazy things. I woke up alone and didn’t mind. As long as Fizzle hadn’t run away because me, I’d be fine. If she had, then I’d feel quite horrible. I tried to get up only for Fizzle to come back in the room with a tray on her back.

“Fizzy…” I was going to apologize to her and she put a hoof over my mouth, a freshly washed hoof at that. It smelled nice.

“No, I’ve got something to say to you Jade!” Just like that she released my mouth and put the tray in my lap. “I love you, you complete and utter jerk. It’s been two months Jade, stop being so quiet. You're supposed to be a charismatic rogue for crying out loud, did you dump your intelligence and charisma stats for luck?”

She said it so dryly and flatly that I giggled, she didn’t glare at me and just smiled a bit.

“Love you too Fizzy and breakfast in bed? Really? You’re being way too nice to someone who hurt you as much as I did.” She nuzzled me and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. “Fizzy?”

“Jade, what you did was upsetting. I want you to explain it to me step by step why you thought any of that was a good idea.” The look in Fizzle’s eyes made me winced and looked away, she crawled up onto the bed to take a spot next to me and the currently untouched food. “I realized you pulled your punches. I was so angry that you slapped me the second time, I didn’t recognize what you were doing at the time.”

“Well, I wanted to do something absolutely stupid in the name of love, so what was one of the worst things I could ever possibly think of doing after hearing what Fluttershy told me you told her that could end in a positive outcome? To start off... Make you important and supported by everyone. Stopped you from being afraid of me not caring anymore by trying to make you stop caring for me first, which was the only thing that didn’t work.” The only hiccup in the plan really. “You needed to support yourself before you can support others, so I forced you to stand up to me. Thus the fight was needed. Your special talents feels limited to you, so I limited myself to what I’m normally capable of, especially as if Magical alchemy had never been invented. Incidentally you can use the horrible memory in case I ever get mind controlled by magic, replaced with a changeling and or have an evil clone made of me. I reduced my number of friends around here so I could be yours exclusively and you wouldn't have cared as much about me anymore, so I'd basically be putting myself in your position before you ended up in Airship Mauled and would be able to know how you feel despite how much I tried to keep you happy. To that end I even stopped using Magical Alchemy for the last two months to get a good feel of what it's like to be missing a horn. In all I really think you can do so much better than me Fizzy, I'm being quite serious here. All this took was me making a pariah of myself for you. Most of my goals were achieved, so mission definitely accomplished and I’m a literal magnificent bastard. On a side note, did Maries bother you?”

“More like a literal genie that Fluttershy let out of the bottle and I should really read your comic books to find out if that’s where you came up with the plan… that ultimately worked in exactly the ways you likely thought it would. As for Maries, they only asked me two things.” Fizzle started laughing. “When will we get our other prospective mate back and when can we start courting the two of you together?”

“I’ve been back, just not as responsive… why is there so much on the tray?” Scooting up next to me Fizzle deftly forked a piece of pancake.

“Why do you think?” Okay Fizzle’s words may have made me blush a bit, before she actually told me why. “I haven’t eaten breakfast with my professional idiot in a while.”

“The best and brightest at jumping off of high places, I got to know Arizona better.” The cow didn’t see a single problem with my bizarre actions. “She’s the only one who sided with me. Mom was truly neutral. Sekhet knew why I did it and I’m surprised you didn’t ask her or that she didn’t tell you.”

“This weekend.” Her words made me pause in the middle of taking a bite of egg.

“Hm?” I queried before shoving the bit of egg into my mouth.

“We’re going on a date this weekend and we’ll air out everything we like and hate about one another.” Fizzle’s mood was surprisingly chipper, I did give her two months to cool down.

Author's Notes:

Refer to- "Chapter Nine, Exercises In Utility: Fluttershy."

Using violence to flip the script!

Chapter Ten, Ass-assins and the "normal date": Birthday Contract.

- ??? -

A knife in the dark, a blade that comes from out of nowhere, a shadow that haunts those of importance and is never seen coming.

I was an assassin, a good one too. Apparently my employers have heard that a sun priest was around and it took them a year to even locate her whereabouts.

Why they wanted the priest dead was none of my business. All it would take is one quick stab to the heart, in and out just like that.

There was nothing that could stop me.

- Snickers -

“Coo…?” Something had activated her protective instincts, someone was going to mess with the lovers she protected and this familiar certainly wasn’t happy with that. “Hiss!”

Also it seemed like the link between kitty and pony was all better, happiness!

-Jacky-

“So has she apologized yet?” I held my arms crossed as I gave Captain a look, she had a smarmy cat smile on her face and Fizzle didn’t seem to be treating that look with disdain.

Still, good or bad she was still my Captain, even if I didn’t entirely agree with her methods whatever they were.

“She doesn’t really need to, it beggars the belief the lengths she’d go to in trying to feel like I do at times. Have you actually seen her doing anything with magical alchemy over the last few months?” Now that you mention it Fizzle I hadn’t seen Jade touch any of her magical alchemy ingredients and her mom still held her knife.

“No, can’t say that I’ve seen her doing anything strange or magical these last two months, which is unusual for her.” It left me wondering why Captain would avoid doing any magic. If I could do magic, I wouldn’t have avoided it for no reason.

“Okay, how has everyone been treating me since Jade forced me to fight her?” Well that was an easy one for me Fizzle. We’ve been asking you for help more often, we’ve been giving you more attention and you’ve been really quite helpful just about… that’s exactly what Captain wanted wasn’t it?

“You’re kidding...” I finally said after a minute, when I realized exactly why Jade did all that. “Captain that’s pretty dumb, bold and ridiculous.”

“Nope, not kidding, Jade tried to solve all my problem in one idiotic fell swoop and she swore off Magical Alchemy in attempt to make herself feel like I did without the use of my horn when we first met. It was mostly successful, though it makes me think I shouldn’t have told Fluttershy I was worried about Jade not caring about me anymore. Then Jade wouldn’t have preempted me in trying to make stop caring for her first, I didn’t think she needed me when she had everyone else and now she absolutely does need me to make up with all of our friends. Except Arizona who apparently thinks fighting is magic.” Yeah, that fits everything we knew Fizzle. “Thank you for letting Jade loose upon me Fluttershy, don’t you ever do it again!”

I among everyone else knew the not caring about Jade thing obviously didn’t work with Fizzle, she was very upset that Jade was avoiding everyone and she seemed pretty actively intent on trying to depress herself. She never got sad once, she’s certainly mentally made of sterner stuff than the rest of us.

Captain you’re an absurd creature and I hoped that you never fell in love with me in a platonic sense you complete lunatic. I’d have to turn Captain down gently if she ever wanted to do something romantic with me.

“I’m sorry Fizzle, I didn’t know telling her your issues would lead to her doing all of that.” I patted Fluttershy soothingly on the back, Captain called her cutie and she was cute in the way she hid her face behind her mane. Good friend the shy lass is to the rest of us. “I really didn’t know Jade would do something so… extreme. It’s actually kind of sounds like something Rainbow Dash would do.”

“Exactly my thoughts on it! Thinking like Rainbow Dash is always good for a bad idea and she was a clear inspiration to me.” Well don’t look so proud of yourself Captain. “Also I would like to formally apologize to Fizzle for attempting to depress myself horribly so I could understand her better while in the course of simultaneously making her more important to everyone else around here by making myself look bad. Just know I won’t act like a jerk just for the sake of being a jerk to the people I love, I’ll have good reasons for it. Everyone will definitely be able to feel the absolute vitriol I have for anyone I may come to hate, it’ll be very obvious too. So stop me if I go overboard.”

“I’m not about to say I’d accept an apology.” Well why not Fizzle, Captain just offered it up to you just like that and she even means it! Our favorite unicorn companion stood on her hind legs and wrapped Captain in a hug and nuzzled up to her. ”You’ve got nothing to apologize for, I already forgave you a while ago. The sentiment of actually saying it is nice at least, so yes I accept it.”

“Are you sure it’s okay Fizzle?” Fluttershy moved away from me to sit at a table, while giving her a worried look.

“Don’t worry about it Fluttershy, knowing why she did it doesn’t mean I like it… but it’s actually pretty touching though. Given that she’s willing to go months without potato stew for me.” I’m not quite sure everyone would think it was that touching Fizzle.

Well it might be once you knew Captain treats some foods like it’s her very lifeblood and she hasn’t been getting desserts for months either. How hasn’t she ultimately cracked yet?!

I think the only reason why Captain isn’t a depressed emotional wreck like she tried to become, is because you were a around Fizzle. We should probably dedicate her to an insane asylum, because it’s amazing that she managed to go through with trying to do depressing things to herself. Say what you will about the Captain, but she always gets results in some way in the end.

“So I can finally stop saying Captain in a sarcastic tone? Oh sure, that makes me feel so much better.” I watched as Jade walked away and eventually she came back with a large birthday present. She thrust it into my arms and I just stared at her smile. “Correction, I’m good with Captain La Perm because she has a big birthday present for me.”

“Happy birthday Blackcap, I hope you like it. I worked pretty hard on it, took quite a bit of magical energy to make and test.” Taking the long purple box with the white ribbon from Jade, it weighed a few pounds. I wondered what was in it and what could the Captain have gotten for me that required packaging this large. “You can open it whenever.”

“The cake is baking everyone, let’s just spend the rest of this day having fun okay?” Sure thing my Captain’s mother and everyone’s mom, it’s nice to see Captain and Fizzle acting normal again. Well normal for around here anyway.

Someone else who was quite happy for things to be back to weird was Maries, who just knocked both Fizzle and Jade to the floor to start licking them both.

-Fizzle, thirty minutes later-

“So what did you get Jacky for her birthday jade?” Darn it, why couldn’t I get away from her touching my ears? I liked it sure, but she’s always rubbing them and making me feel so embarrassed about how much I liked it. I’ve missed this as much as I’ve missed her petting me, just because she did something stupid we missed months of quality time where she could have been caressing me like this. “Also please don’t do that to any of us again, I didn’t like you avoiding us!”

“I can’t make any promises about the future Fizzle, I’m a do what feels right to me kind of person. If I feel like I really need to do that again, then I will. Jacky’s present is something I think she’ll like, you’ll see it when she opens it. At least you definitively know you’re liked around here and that’s what matters.” Yes Jade, I get it. I’ll stop being a sad sack, but don’t you dare you stop cheering me up so much. “You know we haven’t talked about it, but do you realize how scared I was when that flying one eyed purple pony eater grabbed you, Wary Berry and Cheerilee?”

Even if Jade didn’t care about Wary Berry, she still rescued that purple furred and blue haired mare from the tentacles of that horrific thing. In fact she was the last one Jade rescued despite being the closest pony she could get to, she had rescued me first. Wary was overly critical about fruit, a most common source of nutrition for many beings including my favorite Abyssinian next to mom. Jade had obviously resented that a bit.

“Yes and then you went an upset me and everyone else. It was nice getting all that attention, but all that attention from them doesn’t compare to what I get from you.” I told you I love you and I meant it. You’ve said it back to me and all is forgiven, now we just have to go on several dates and see how well we can keep ourselves together. “Still though, what is it that you got Jacky that requires such a big box?”

“I’m the rogue. Maries is a barbarian. Mom is a witch. You, Fizzle, are my… our lovely spell sword. So Jacky would be the…” she trailed off looking to me to finish.

Don’t think I didn’t notice you changing your choice of words Jade! It’s kind of hard to hide the fact that we loved one another, especially when you are willing to do absurd things that I didn’t ask for. Well I did kind of ask for it when I told Fluttershy how I felt, but never mind that!

“Archer… you bought her a bow?” Frankly my and everyone else’s obsession with Ogre’s and Oubliettes had become muted without Jade around to play with, we all missed having her around and I don’t think anyone liked her avoiding the rest of us.

“Bought? Oh no, I didn’t buy it! That would be way too easy, also ponies don’t make good weapons.” Nobody would disagree with you on that Jade. Pony made weaponry was never too great in quality. Armor and shields were a bit better, so I couldn’t actually see you buying a store bought weapon. “I made it special for her, with twenty arrows, a quiver and it’s even practically indestructible in case of bad luck.”

“What did you do?” I was still a little suspicious of you Jade, but don’t worry. That’ll clear up once we go on our date, we’re not doing anything special for it and we’re not going to dress up for it. Eventually I might convince you to wear a skirt at least

“Nothing special. Though quite a bit of magical alchemy went into it, before I forced you to brutalize me.” Would you please stop bringing it up Jade?

“Can we not mention that anymore?” My mane was being stroked by her gentle fingers.

“Okay, but I still think it improved how you see yourself around here.” It did clearly let me see who cared and you’re already making it up to me Jade.

It wasn’t long before the party was thrown with Pinkie in attendance, she was much happier to see that we were getting along again. Games, cake, ice cream and Jacky’s favorite food, it was just another day with my best friends and my special some cat.

Jacky got to test out her knew bow. Made with magically reinforced, water proofed wood. Both via wood casting bark skin on the wood of the bow itself and fish scale as a water repellant that smoothed the roughness from the bark skin.

My idea about the waterproof effect had actually helped make the bow what it is and I was accredited as it being partially from me.

The string was green and made of cat hair that was also reinforced with magical alchemy like the rest of the bow, specifically it used hair from Jade’s mane. She just grew it back by sustaining the wood she was working on and if for whatever reason the braided green bow string broke, Jacky had plenty of spares to work with given how much Jade must have cut off.

Speaking of Jade’s hair, I’m only noticing now that it was slightly shorter than it had previously been. It could be a little longer, I think I liked the idea of Jade having slightly longer hair. I could bring it up on our date later.

The fish leather handles for the bow was quite nice and it’d go with Jacky’s new set of fingerless gloves I got her. The quiver went over the top of her tail.

There were thankfully no repeating gifts other than what mom got for Jacky.

Fluttershy got Jacky a book about preparing for disasters, which Jacky definitely appreciated.

Pinkie Pie got Jacky a pirate themed party cannon, no one even knew such a thing as a party cannon store existed. Jacky would have to read the instruction manual for that later.

Maries got Jacky a fiddle, who knows how they managed that without us hearing about a chimera scare.

Sekhet got Jacky a treasure chest with twenty bits in it.

Arizona just gave Jacky a cow bell, like we needed more of those around here.

Kuril was the one with the silly gift, it was two mattresses. One for both sides of Jacky’s bed for when she fell out in the morning by rolling too far. I think she should have gotten Jacky three, there was one side of the bed that Jacky could still fall off of that wasn’t covered.

- Zecora -

“This place is quite strange, especially when danger is always in range.” I was talking to the one know as Jade La Perm. This place had a certain madness about it, mostly the good kind. “The celebration and tea is nice, but could I bother you to get me some ice?”

“Sure thing Cora, so how are your talks with my mom going?” I followed her and she got some ice from a box to put in my cup, for the rest of today I was just going to sup. Kurilian’s food is quite filling, especially for those who are hungry and quite willing.

“We are learning each other’s ways as we teach, I have been fair in my dealings as I am not a leech.” I was quite amazed at what Kuril could do, she could cook magical effects directly into her food depending on what she uses. The one that pops up most often for her was health and fulfillment, something a witch of great taste should be known for. “Your mother is quite humble to say she’s a witch of good taste, especially in the grand ways she makes all kinds of food without haste.”

“So need help finding a tree, in the Ever Free?” She was a cunning cat, and a friend to me at that.

Author's Notes:

An assassin appears, will they be able to kill the unknown sun priest... yeah we all know who they're after.

Chapter Ten, Ass-assins and the "normal date": Attempting Contract.

-???-

There she was at a birthday party, my target was so calm and sure of herself. She’d be dead in the next few seconds.

I held the blow pipe up to my mouth, once I exhaled I had better start running fast. She, wouldn’t know what hit her.

“Coo…” I froze, slowly I turned my eyes to what had made that noise. It was just a sea turtle, I turned back to blow into the pipe and stopped. I looked back to the sea turtle that was just staring at me, what was a sea turtle doing up a tree and how did it even get up here?

What’s more, why was it staring at me like that? I shook my head. The sea turtle wasn’t important, I had to get my target while she was out in the open!

I went to breathe into the pipe when I heard a crunching noise, I stopped and turned to the sea turtle. A bit of the bark was missing from the branch I was on and the turtle had a cricket sticking halfway out of its mouth, which it inhaled fully.

Okay, I was going to do this and stop thinking about how a sea turtle got this far onto land or up into a tree without help! Crickets couldn’t get this high up either, but that didn’t matter at the moment.

I quickly inhaled and put my lips to the blow pipe, then a sharp cracking noise was heard. I ignored it and blew, unfortunately for me the angle of the pipe was straight up as I was falling towards the ground.

- Snickers-

The dart flew straight into some clouds that Fluttershy had rode on her way to Airship Mauled and it started drifting away with the unspent dart stuck halfway into it.

“Coo…” Bug yummy, but love hurting being falling even yummier. Warn bad thing that want hurt lovers, but they no listen. No hurt lovers while I here!

“Interesting, keep doing your job little guardian.” I like super winged kitty, she’s friendly and even feels cuddly! She has extra cuddly kin somewhere. “I’m going to get plenty of amusement out of watching this. No point in interfering unless I absolutely have to.”

-???-

I was paranoid, that sea turtle had caused me to fail what should have been an extremely easy shot on purpose. I looked around and I brought up my right hoof to aim a mounted crossbow this time.

My blow pipe had broken when I fell on top of it.

They were watching the parrot wielding that bow with the green string. She pulled an arrow from her tail mounted quiver and nocked it to aim at the target a decent distance away.

The parrot didn’t look like she knew how to use the bow and was wielding it like a complete beginner. I didn’t care about the bow or the wielder of it, they weren’t my target.

“Coo…” I froze, I looked at the sea turtle. It wouldn’t eat through the branch this time, I chose a really sturdy one for this... how did it even get up here this time!

I glared at the turtle and it started to crawl away from me on its flippers squeaking with fear.

Turning back to fire my crossbow, the arrow launched on a direct course for the green haired target with beige fur.

It was going straight for her heart... only for the most absurd and impossible to predict thing to occur.

Somehow, the parrot letting go of the string to the bow saved my target. Instead of flying forward, the arrow went spinning wildly backwards out of the bow into the air and that sent everyone scattering. Including my target.

My bolt hit the tail end of the arrow, which spun on a new axis with the bolt stuck in it. Then, before I understood what was even happening, I saw the bolt coming straight back towards my face.

I tried to dodge backwards, only the bolt caught the inside of my hood somehow and it lodged itself into the tree.

I fell down and started to be strangled by my own clothing like a tightening noose.

I was trying to figure out how in Tartarus did this just happen, or even if any of what just occurred was feasibly possible. It obviously was, because my clothing became a tightening noose around my own neck.

“Coo…” I looked up to the sea turtle looking at the hood, it looked at me and saw my face. Said face must have been turning blue or purple by now because I couldn’t breathe.

It tilted its head questioningly at my struggling form, before it moved over to where my hood was trapped by the bolt and started to nibble at the fabric.

Several nibbles and a ripping sound later, I found myself slamming into the ground. I was then, somehow, hit with a huge wad of sticky tree sap that quickly stuck me to the ground.

I was at least in a good position to watch the parrot try to shoot the target again, and she managed to hit the edge of it this time.

Not bad for a second shot at least.

-Snickers-

“Well timed distraction little guardian!” Happiness for praise! “Though you probably shouldn’t have saved him.”

“Coo...” I didn’t like the face the love hurting being was making, it looked sad and colorful.

“You know he’ll just try to kill your partner again.” Super winged kitty is big smart. “Oh he can definitely try, but he won’t ever be truly close to succeeding.”

Really extra super big smart, I smart too with great bond to kitty!

-Jade-

“See Jacky, your luck isn’t so horrible and absolutely nobody got hurt!” I pat the parrot on the back for her first successful shot, may she have many more in the future. “You even hit the target.”

“The bow is a bit unwieldly Jade and I’ve never used one before, but there’s something exhilarating about managing to hit the target on my first try.” As long as you were happy Jacky, today was your day after all. “The try that actually went forward that is.”

“Oh, hey Snickers, what do you have there, a metal crossbow bolt?” I received a cooing noise from the ground bound turtle, Snickers held the bolt up at me with her flippers. I wondered why she wasn’t using her wings, but shrugged that off and carefully took the sap covered crossbow bolt. “Well okay then. Don’t know where you got it, but I guess I can hold onto it for you.”

-???-

Okay, long range was out, this time I was waited until night. I watched their festivities from the shadows and I learned which room belonged to my target.

There was no way I could miss with a knife from point blank range while my target was asleep, I’d start as soon as everyone was in bed.

I’d give them some time to really fall asleep and then I would strike.

This place was weird. There’s the two crashed airships turned into buildings, a farm land that looks like it was trench dug out with someone’s face and a small pyramid. Why was this place even here? No matter, soon my target would be dead and I’d be paid what I’m owed.

-Later at night.-

The Witch’s Fare place was across from me, it was some kind of restaurant. Probably didn’t get many customers out here. Nobody was around out here, so I silently dropped down and darted for the door only to slam into something, causing my nose to make an audible crunching noise from the impact.

Okay that hurt… I lifted a hoof and pressed it against the air. I slowly worked my way around the invisible barrier surrounding the campfire. A campfire that, I just realized, had never gone out for as long as I was watching these people.

So even with a broken horn, the unicorn would be absolutely dangerous if I woke her up. She had to be the one that made that barrier to protect against ill intentions and I was here to kill someone. The barrier thankfully didn’t cover the front door of the restaurant.

I picked the lock and stepped inside, only to stop immediately. I silently turned around, stepped back outside, closed the door and locked it back up. There was a chimera curled up and sleeping on a rug in the restaurant, if I had made one wrong noise I’d have been ripped to pieces.

Why was there even a chimera in the restaurant?! What is wrong with this insane place that the sun priest was guarded by a freaking chimera!

Okay, option two, go in through the roof to reach her room.

“Coo…?” I jumped and almost made a loud noise outside the door, I strangled my own shout by covering my mouth with my hooves and turned to the turtle on the ground in irritation.

If I had tried to take care of the chimera, then this insufferable, irritating, little shelled creature would have likely woke it up at the wrong moment. I went to go get my grappling hook, completely ignoring the exceedingly strange and eccentric sea turtle.

-Snickers-

Bad love hurting being still wanted to hurt love, I protect kitty of great bond!

“Well little guardian, what will you do now?” Don’t worry super winged kitty, I big smart! “It appears he doesn’t think going through the front door will work and your plan to wake up Maries while he was in the room fell through.”

“Hiss… coo… coo hiss coo!” Would friend super winged kitty help?

“Oh, do tell…” Yay, super winged kitty was smiling, friends!

-???-

On the deck of the airship I opened the door that wasn’t locked, the fools. Anyone who could fly would have gotten in here easily.

-Snickers-

Door being open for bad love hurting being, not knowing that I big smart.

Nose hurt, but big need for big smart.

-???-

I entered the room. Since the door on deck wasn’t locked, the door to her room wasn’t either. There lied the sun priest curled up in her sheets. Sleeping on her right side, her heart was exposed for me to stab at.

As I got closer I smelled the stench of fish, just what I expected from an Abyssinian. Fish lovers the lot of them.

I slid my knife from its sheath carefully, watching the rise and fall of the blankets and the gently breathing shaped beneath them.

I lashed out with my knife in the dark and a squelching noise was heard, the blanket started to become heavy with fluids. I wrenched my knife free of the suddenly still form and wiped it on the bed.

The dark red of blood, yes this was an easy mission and I would soon receive my pay.

I quietly made my exit, my mission was accomplished.

-Five minutes later-

“Excuse me.” I immediately turned and fired at the voice. The crossbow bolt stopped in the air an inch from the beings face, the orange eyes were glowing with the shape of ankhs in the pupils. Lion body, wings and a pony face, it looked familiar. “What was that in aid of?”

There was no magical glow, the hoof mounted crossbow bolt just floated there. I tried to turn and run, only I found my body unable to move.

“I’ll give you the use of your mouth so you may answer my riddle.” Oh no… I just shot at a sphinx! Wait, why was it here… the pyramid, of course! It lived next to the sun priest’s home. “Get my riddle right, I’ll let you go… in that direction specifically and only that direction. Get it wrong and… well… you won’t get it wrong now will you? That sun priest was my friend I’ll have you know.”

I swallowed loudly, my body trapped in the Sphinx’s power as she approached me with a slow gait and wicked smile.

“Here’s my riddle. I’m almost blind and my true sight is my big ears, I hang upside down, feed on bugs and spend lots of time in caves filled with your fears.” That… didn’t seem so bad really, what’s the catch? “What am I?”

“A bat?” She smiled so coyly at me. It seemed too… simple. I guess Sphinx’s weren’t as dangerous as many think they are.

“Very good, correct even. I am a sphinx of my word, you are to go in that direction for a while and eventually you’ll be able to go in a different direction.” She released me from the grip of her power and I ran.

-Sekhet-

“Off to Barely Bearable Woods, maybe I should have warned him about the drop bears...” Chuckles audibly spilled from my throat. “Nah, he’ll be fine.”

-Snickers-

I play kitty of great bond dead. Love hurting being be leaving, I come out from under blankets!

I super big smart, need hug super winged kitty later.

-The next morning, Fizzle-

“Jade… ugh… where is she?” She got up before I did, I’ll check her room. Opening the door I saw that Snickers had made a huge mess on Jade’s bed. “Snickers, bad turtle dove!”

The shell shivered a bit and I heard a whining noise.

“Yes, she’s been a very bad turtle. Help me clean up the fish and the catsup she spilled everywhere under the blankets.” Jade had come up to me carrying some cleaning supplies with her, she shook her head as she looked at the mess. “Fish and catsup... if you wanted a change of diet, you could have just told me little buddy.”

“Coo…” Whined the turtle cutely poking her head slightly out of the catsup stained shell, I could swear I saw a faint hint of a smirk on her face.

“Come on, let’s go get you cleaned up Snickers.” Having picked up Snickers, Jade walked to the door and stopped to turn to me. “Fizzle, dump all the ruined fish into the bucket and toss it out into the river. Mom will take care of the sheets.”

“I’m making potato stew tonight.” As soon as mom said that, I had to watch as Jade almost gave herself whiplash from turning after her mother.

Jade’s tail was now waggling like a dogs and it was so adorable to see that sudden bright smile on her face. I snickered at the sight and rubbed up against her before I went over to the bed to start throwing the ruined fish into the bucket.

“I swear you’re more cat than me Fizzle and I’m the Abyssinian here!” Her words got me giggling and before we knew it, we were both laughing. It was good for things to be back to relatively normal.

“Yeah and I’m the Ornithian that’s never been to Ornithia… whoa, what happened here?” Looking into the room Jacky saw the mess and looked at us curiously with her purple eyes. “Anyway, the extra mattresses worked. No painful beak to the floor for me this morning, mom really knew what I needed!”

“Yep, mom chose her gifts wisely. Snickers somehow got into a bottle of catsup and smeared it and a lot of fish everywhere randomly all over the bed and then wrapped it up in a blanket.” It seemed Jade was considering something. “I now have to clean my naughty buddy off. Quick question, how do you punish a sea turtle dove that’s done something bad?”

Author's Notes:

Familiar Bond: Snickers, already being a rather intelligent sea turtle dove, has bonded to Jaded strongly enough to gain a weaker copy of her cunning.

Drop Bears are an Australian mythological hoax.

In Equestria however… they are very much real creatures that would resembled Ewoks.

Only deadlier, longer limbed, faster, more dangerous and overall not a bunch of living friendly teddy bears.

Chapter Ten, Ass-assins and the "normal date": Beautiful Contract

-Several days later on the weekend, Fizzle-

I approached mom’s room this morning, I was a little pensive about asking her for help. Though if I did ask her, I knew I’d get cuddles for it. I haven’t exactly told anyone me and Jade were going on a date, even if neither I nor Jade had anything special to wear for it.

We didn’t need anything special, but I still wanted a little help with my appearance. Someone to style my mane a bit differently and apply some makeup, I wasn’t good at any of that.

Jade didn’t care that I had noticeable scar or a broken horn, but I’m sure the ponies of Ponyville would care a little more and might freak out a bit. I’d rather not cause a panic and I also wanted to look a little bit good.

I wanted a change of pace for a short while and it was my first date, I wanted it to be special.

So I put my right hoof to the door and knocked twice.

“Come in.” Mom was just waking up and stretching out as I entered. “Oh hello my little Fizzle, what can I do for you as a mother? That seems to be the only reason you girls come to me anymore, it’s never just to say hello or give me a wake up hug. Of course with you making my daughter your personal snuggle toy, I can understand why I’m not needed nearly as much.”

“Stop making so flustered mom!” I could feel myself blushing already.

“Well stop being so cute!” She smiled at me and I could feel my blush worsen. “You haven’t done anything inappropriate in bed with my cat daughter have you?”

“No, but I was wondering if you could…” Was I really going to ask her to do this for me?

“If I could what?” Her ears were perking up now, she seemed more intent on me than she was a second ago, do I really want to ask mom for help with this? “You are certainly being awfully shy right now Fizzle.”

By now Jade would be doing her morning sun salutation exercise and then she’d probably go downstairs to wait for breakfast with Maries. I wanted to do this before she saw me today. Jade might not put that much care into maintaining her appearance and wasn’t at all feminine, but I cared slightly more than she did.

“I want you to style my mane… and help me prepare for my date with Jade.” I closed my eyes, clamped my hooves down on my ears and waited for the squeal. It didn’t come and I opened one eye.

Kuril look misty eyed and wiped her tears away with a smiling face.

I removed my hooves from my ears… and then mom chose exactly that moment to squeal loudly.

-Five minutes later.-

“That’s why you don’t try to avoid the squeal Fizzle, I could wait all day until you were vulnerable to show my appreciation for asking me to help you with this.” As she said that, warm water splashed against my head and down my back. I felt mom’s hands gently rubbing the shampoo into my wet mane as I sat in a tub of hot water. “Who’s a cute blushing pony, you are Fizzle!”

“I’m almost a full grown mare mom.” I just sighed happily as mom scrubbed my back.

“Maybe so, but you’ve adopted me as your mother and it’s too late for you to turn back on that. We’re not doing just your mane, we’ll style your tail too and if you’re willing I can add some eyeshadow.” I was beginning to fall asleep as I sat here, it was just so comfortable with mom rubbing shampoo into my fur, tail and mane. “You’re quite naturally beautiful Fizzle, so you don’t actually need makeup at all and you should know that Jade already likes how you look normally. She tends to get lost in your eyes when you’re happy, they glow so much when you smile dear.”

“I don’t feel beautiful a lot of the time.” It was the scar and the horn that mostly made me feel like that.

“You are if I say you are Fizzle, you’re a beautiful young pony and I think Jade will be happy you’re going to the trouble for your date. I bet Jaded doesn’t change a single thing about herself for it though.” Look mom, it really wouldn’t bother me if Jade really didn’t do anything special. It’s just about spending a day with someone I cared about.

-A few minutes later.-

“So just styling or do you want a trim, maybe a different cut?” As mom asked this of me, I was seated in a stool looking at myself in the mirror with my wet mane evenly plastered to both sides of my neck.

My hair wasn’t sticking up in its usual manner and was all weighed down with water. Mom grabbed a towel and started to rub my mane dry, I admittedly squeaked a bit when she started drying me off.

What did I want? I’ve always kept my hair a somewhat medium length, except the point where the hair stuck directly out of the back of my head and from there I kept it shorter going down my neck. My tail had always had that strange little cowlick that I never took care of, I guess it was time to say goodbye to that strange little feature for a while. I could always get it back after the date.

“You have to tell me or I won’t know what to do and I may just cuddle you until you do.” Darn it mom, you make this all sound so easy!

“Just style it differently please, to the right side of my neck and over my horn and scar.” At my words mom simply got to work on brushing my mane out. She would then take a comb to it and style it how I wanted it, I was a bit nervous about seeing Jade after this.

-Some time later, Jade.-

“Where’s Fizzle?” You were going to find out soon enough anyway Jacky.

“Don’t know, but I think she’s busy with mom. Can you go get The Ardent Survivor ready? We’re heading to Ponyville today and while we’re there you can do a few jobs and buy some stuff.” I was wondering when she’d notice that there was something different about me. “I’ll be busy going on a date personally.”

“Oh okay… wait you’re going on a date!” Yep, this is exactly how you are being informed about it and don’t you look surprised. I’m more surprised that you haven’t noticed something different about me. “Well that explains why I felt something was off, when did you get something like that? Also does Fizzle know you’re going out on a date?”

“I talked to an aspiring fashion pony in Ponyville and she made this for me…. for free.” Yes, I did that and said fashion pony seemed interested in getting a cat ever since then. She’d probably end up with Opal the kitten soon. “Also yes, Fizzle knows, she’s the one that asked me out.”

“She has to be nuts to want to date you Captain.” She quickly held up her talons in a warding gesture as I gave her a flat stare. “No offense meant, but I just think you’re clinically insane.”

“No offense taken, I am insane and will acknowledge it openly.” I sat back and waited for Fizzle to come down the stairs. I wondered what her reaction would be, it’d certainly be a surprise for her.

“By the way, looking good Captain! I didn’t know you could clean up like that, if I weren’t straight you’d be someone I’d look at more than twice.” Thank you for the vote of confidence you friendly pirate raised scoundrel you. “I’ll go prep the ship, call me when Kuril has breakfast ready.”

“We agree with her assessment of you Jade, Fizzle will appreciate you preening yourself.” After Maries stated that, snake head Marie spoke up alone. “Though we will always like you even if you don’t preen too often, you are of strong spirit and know how to fight. That’s what impresses my sisters the most, I like your cunning nature better personally.”

I turned away from them to look towards the stairs, I could hear the sounds of six different impacts coming down and smiled. If I’m right, this was going to be absolutely hilarious.

Mom was coming down the stairs in front of Fizzle to keep her from my sight. Unfortunately she hadn’t seen my appearance yet. I got up and waited in clear view and as soon as I saw mom I called out to her.

“Hey mom!” I said impishly with a cheeky grin. If you’re evil and you know it, clap your hands…

I resisted the urge to actually clap my hands as I didn’t want to do something so silly at this moment in time. I just held the camera at the ready and…

“Hey my little tom cat guess… oh what the…!” My mom suddenly caught sight of me doing a cutesy pose and smile, I cranked my adorability up to eleven and then pushed it a little bit further to twelve by winking at her.

Mom’s foot missed the next step and she went bouncing down the rest of the stairs on her butt. She just stared at me wide-eyed in shock and clutched at her chest. I looked at the picture coolly and nodded to myself while laughing gaily.

I heard Fizzle coming down the stairs next and smiled brightly, wait for it… and… strike a pose!

“Mom are you alright… what the…!” Cue Fizzle tripping and rolling down the stairs, she ended up flopping into mom’s lap with a bounce. She too was staring at me equally wide-eyed.

I simply took another picture, while smiling cheekily. Fizzle looked away her face turning a flaming red color.

“Jaded, is that you?” Oh Kuril, your little girl has decided to show her more attractive side. How will you respond to this? She started to cry and smile at the same. “Oh my goodness!”

“Like I said, I will ‘NEVER’ wear a dress mom!” I moved over to them and bowed to Fizzle, I then kneeled took her right hoof into my hands and gently put my lips to it. I looked up into Fizzle’s wonderful eyes and comically red face. “I never said anything about not wearing skirts though, completely different thing entirely. Not all too different from shorts really, but not nearly as hip hugging.”

I waggled my eyebrows at Fizzle as I stood up and shifted my hips a bit making my skirt flow slightly.

“I… but… you… that… the hair and the… wow.” Was that all I rated to you Fizzle, after all the effort I went through? Just a wow? I should contact my modeling agent about this. “You look amazing Jade!”

“You're darn right I do!” Placing my fists on my hips, I stood tall giving the two of them a smirk.

I was wearing a simple purple shirt in the same shade as Fizzle’s fur, when she wasn’t blushing like she currently was. As for the knee length circle skirt I had on, it was red and in the shade of Fizzle’s mane. I thought it looked nice on me and that it’d surprise my mother and Fizzle like no tomorrow. Also I brushed the bushiness out of my hair and it resulted in a curtain of center parted silk hanging straight over my shoulders.

“This is making me feel a little underdressed.” Don’t look so embarrassed about it Fizzle, I just wanted to really freak mom out. I pulled that off quite successfully.

“I really like the mane style, but don’t keep it on my account.” I looked at Fizzle’s mane, it had been styled so that her hair swept over her broken horn and covered most of her right eye to hide the scar. “You look fine and are exceptionally pretty Fizzy. Still… do you want me to go naked to make us even?”

“No! I mean no, what you’re wearing is… really good actually.” You were having such a hard time looking at me without blushing weren’t you Fizzle? I didn’t think I looked that great really, I swear if I went naked right now I think you’d absolutely pounce on me.

“It should be. My favorite color may be green and I have an entire collection of shirts and shorts to that effect, but these colors are special to me.” I waited for her to figure out why.

“Why would those colors be so… oh…” Her right eye looked like it was comparing her mane to my skirt and then both her eyes looked at the fur on her nose and then at my shirt. Looks like she got it easily enough.

I didn’t think Fizzle could pop her blush any harder than that… I’d like to try and see if could make her do that though.

“Jade, this is possibly the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen you do… I don’t think my mind can even comprehend this.” Thrusting the camera into my dazed mother’s claws and pulling Fizzle to her hooves, I dragged Fizzle with me out to an open space in front of mom.

After turning Fizzle around, I crouched next to her and threw my right arm around her withers to pull her close. After giving her a kiss on the left cheek, cue another use of the camera which we both smiled for.

It was time to get our date on!

-???-

“Your target is still alive.” The stereotypical shadowy figure stated. “She’s been spotted getting off an airship in Ponyville recently with what we assume is her bodyguard, apparently she doesn’t have a thestral moon priest to watch her. I want her dead before she gets one.”

“She must have multiple lives then, because I know I stabbed her!” I was still a nervous wreck after all those bears falling from the sky and trying to land on me, they were like giant flying killer squirrels. “Among my troubles were a Sphinx, a freaky sea turtle, a chimera, drop bears, one of my own crossbow bolts coming back at me without anyone noticing I even fired it and my blowpipe was destroyed. I demand some hazard pay right now!”

“Of course, I’ll even pay you in reparation for your lost equipment Mr. Obelus. A jack of your talents is hard to come by.” The figure slid forward a bag of bits and I took them without a word. “Still, you didn’t kill her. If you had half as much trouble as you say you did, then I will send two other assassins to assist you in making sure she’s dead and buried. All of you will be paid the same amount.”

“I don’t need help.” I didn’t, I had just become careless after so many easy commissions.

"They could still be of great use to you.” The shadowy figure motioned forward two people. “Say hello to Matilda and Blade.”

“One of the people you're sending after her is a thestral?” I looked at Matilda, she was a jenny with curly dark brown hair, blue eyes and light brown colored fur. I turned to Blade, the mare was a dark grey coated thestral with buzzed white hair and golden eyes.

Author's Notes:

Yes, it's that Matilda.

How does that work?

Chapter Ten, Ass-assins and the "normal date": Starting Contract.

-Fizzle-

I’m still surprised that naming our airship The Ardent Survivor is what was keeping it from crashing when we flew it to Ponyville and back. The name may even be the only reason why it hasn’t crashed yet.

We landed just outside of Ponyville safely this time, but I was counting the number of days until the next incident.

Things started simply enough, I just had to get off the airship without anything exploding. That’s a lot harder than you’d think, especially with Jade around.

Jade had this annoying habit of attracting or finding danger like a moth going into a flame, flying out and then flying back in because it didn’t learn its lesson the first time it got burned. If it wasn’t nearly walking into the drop bear territory in Barely Bearable Woods, then it was saying highland pukwudgies or attacking that one eyed purple pony eater that still looked strange and horrific to me.

Snuggling Jade helped to keep the nightmares of that last thing away, I never thought I’d be more afraid of something that wasn’t a giant star bear.

Why did a creature that specifically ate purple ponies even exist? It wasn’t even like purple ponies were special in some way, why did there have to be a creature out there that would specifically target me out of a number of colorful ponies that aren’t mostly purple? Does it go after ponies with purple manes, if not then why does a pony having a purple coat attract it?

I stepped off the ship and looked about wildly, expecting something to happen. Jade started rubbing my ears, I admit that that will always have a very calming effect on me.

“Calm down Fizzy, I don’t think anything unusual is going to happen today… then again this is Ponyville. At least it’s not Tuesday.” Yes, because everything horrible that happens in Ponyville obviously has to happen on an arbitrary day at least once a week for no apparent reason. “Just relax and we’ll go for a nice calm walk to the park and we can talk while we do, but first I have to place this sign down.”

Jade jammed a sign into the ground that read “Beware of chimera in heat”. Yeah that would definitely keep anyone away from the airship alright, it was a scary message that thankfully wasn’t true. Even if we were leaving Maries behind to guard the ship.

“So let’s start off, I like that you’re cuddly, quite intelligent, happen to be very strong and your eyes are very beautiful in how they shine when you smile.” From you Jade, I can accept all those things. What didn’t you like about me though? “What I don’t like is you being pessimistic, that you sometimes focus too much on what you’ve lost instead of what you’ve gained, that you don’t think you can do amazing things when I absolutely know you can. I believe in you and think that you are the one that is holding yourself back from being the incredible mare that I know you can be. Your turn Fizzy.”

“Well I like that you’re cunning, that you can be cute at times, that you put yourself in danger for others and that you are willing to go to such lengths to make someone like me happy.” Moving closer to me as we headed towards the park, Jade hugged me to her and we passed by several ponies giving me odd stares because I was leaning my head against her side. Let them stare, I was content as I was right now. “What I dislike about you is that you don’t consider the consequences of your actions before you do them, including things like you jumping off of high places. You tend to run headlong into danger, your horrible at math, you're an idiot with a stupidly high tolerance for pain and I dislike your habit of getting hurt. You really disgust me when you lick yourself and then cough up hairballs. I have to ask, do all Abyssinians do that?”

“Pretty much, licking ourselves is just something we do. At least it keeps my fur clean, I’m not about to get onto you about what ponies use their mouths for.” Jade shivered violently at the thought. “Do Earth Ponies seriously change foal diapers with their mouths? Thank goodness for paws with opposable digits!”

Okay, now that she had said it out loud, licking her fur clean is not nearly as disgusting depending on what she’s licking off. If it’s too disgusting to lick off, at least I know she’ll take a bath and that I don’t have to worry about her kissing me with a disgusting mouth. She had more to be worried about from me in that respect, the hairballs were still disgusting though.

“You have a pretty good point, ponies do use their mouths for a lot more disgusting things.” I sat down under a tree and Jade sat beside me and ran her fingers through my mane once. I always like these affectionate gestures. “There’s also the fact that you are sometimes distracted by cardboard boxes, points of bright light and string.”

“Since when have I ever been distracted by any of those things Fizzy?” There was something you needed to know Jade, I had only looked away from you for a second and you had already somehow done the impossible.

“Like right now, you’re sitting in a cardboard box… where did you even get that? That wasn’t even here when we sat down!” I watched as Jade considered the large cardboard box she was sitting in and the taut string she held that was staking the shape of a unicorn with a short horn between her fingers. She slowly lowered her hands into the cardboard box and gave me a sheepish grin.

“I honestly don’t know what to tell you Fizzy, it just fell out of the sky and I have no idea where this string came from.” Jade ruffled her hair and I suddenly wanted to touch it, I crawled into the cardboard box with her and ran my hoof through her hair and over her ears until she started purring.

“I think I like making you purr Jade.” I started petting her and she cuddled up to me purring away.

-Derpy the Muffin Queen.-

Oops, I dropped the box… oh a kitty and a pony are having fun with it!

It was an empty box that we didn’t need, so they can keep it.

I did a good thing today!

-Matilda-

Obelus the gray donkey and Blade the thestral, what droll company for a high class assassin such as myself. The target didn’t look dangerous and was even on a playful romp with her friend, one would even suggest that they were in love. The young love was quite sweet and it would certainly be cruel for anyone to ruin it, but alas we assassins couldn't wait for better opportunities forever.

It kind of reminds me of a handsome jack I met at a gala where I set things up to go poorly for that one noble. I was more refined in my takedown methods. A little drop of poison and something that a pony has a seemingly allergic reaction to and none are the wiser for it when said pony needs to be rushed to the hospital. I never sully my hooves by outright killing my target, I only make it easier for my target to die naturally.

“So which one of you wants to go after them first? Not many ponies in the park to witness an attempt on their lives.” Well now Mr. Obelus, it would be a quite brutish thing to do for such an ass like you. Taking out two happy girls having fun in a cardboard box that appeared out of nowhere once we all blinked, I preferred to get them while they were at lunch. “I’ve already tried several times, so one of you should have the first shot.”

It’s always the slow approach for me really. I take several steps back and watched as Blade moved forward narrowing her eyes, the assassin hasn’t said a single thing since we were assured she definitely wouldn’t turn on us to protect the target. She spread her wings and took to the air.

I was more curious than anything about who we were meant to kill and if we even should kill her. She wasn't currently an active threat to anyone, but she would definitely become one to the one paying us to do this once the wind picks up.

My rules were as follows. Never take a contract on Celestia or anyone important to the world’s survival. Never take a contract on someone whose importance will cause worldwide trouble. My last is never take a contract that involves young children, the target was barely old enough to be above that rule.

-Jade-

Darn it Fizzy, your making my mind all fuzzy. I get it, you like that I combed my hair out. Now stop making me purr so much! It’s embarrassing even if no one can see us in the cardboard box.

“Stop…” I purred out and Fizzle immediately did so letting me up. “Thank you, come on let’s get…”

The cardboard box was cut in half vertically by flash of steel, I looked up at the pony with bat wings curving around to stare at us with her golden eyes and short shorn down white hair.

“You’ll pay for destroying the cardboard box, I would have named him George and I would have loved him and played with him!” I received a confused look from the hovering thestral, maybe I should explain why I’m angry. “I only got to know him for ten minutes and then you came along and shredded him… I really wanted to be the one to eventually do that!”

“Seriously Jade?” Not now Fizzle, we were about to be attacked by the mare that assassinated my cardboard box! “Don’t we have more to worry about, like how she tried to hurt or even possibly kill us?”

Shaking her head thestral swooped down with her wings spread wide and a glint of metal on them, she was wearing wing blades and she was targeting me. Oh joy, the assassins Grit mentioned finally decided show up, I thought he had been kidding about that.

Sustain, inhale and… spit a large bullet of water. My blast caught her in the chest and sent her spinning backwards towards a waiting Fizzle who figured out what I was going to do and ran forward to prepare accordingly.

“You’re…. interrupting… our… date!” Fizzle gave the spinning mare a buck to the spine, which bounced her off the tree we had sat under and back towards Fizzle. Fizzle leapt up and threw a vicious downwards left hoof slamming the poor mare into the grass where she bounced off the ground slightly, then Fizzle came down on the mare with a double axe handle to the chest using her front hooves. She shouted ‘date’ slapping the mare harshly across her temple with her right hoof, knocking her out.

“I don’t think she’ll get up from that easily, you really are strong Fizzy.” I had Fizzle blushing at my praise and then I saw the assassin roll to her hooves.

She extended her wings blades and leapt for Fizzle’s back with a dagger in hoof, quite ready to drive home all her weapons into Fizzle.

The assassin had been so close too, if only she hadn’t been hit in the head by a falling stone block. Fizzle jumped and turned to the poor mare that had been hammered into the ground again.

“Come on and help me get the stone block off of her, we’ll divest her of all her weapons and then we need to get her to a hospital.” Despite the disbelieving stare I received, Fizzle still helped me carry the mare to Ponyville’s hospital.

-Derpy the Muffin Queen-

Oops... my bad assassin lady!

-Matilda-

I felt kind of bad about trying to kill the target, she was a good cat and I’m sure Blade would recover given time. Now what would they do for lunch? Obelus was just chuckling at Blade’s misfortune to be struck down by a random block of stone falling from the sky.

We now knew our target could spit pressurized blasts of water from her mouth powerful enough to knock a winged pony out of flight at least. Her companion knew how to fight and they both could handle themselves in a dangerous situation.

-Fizzle-

After delivering the barely breathing assassin to the hospital, goodness knows what Jade was thinking when we did that, we stopped by The Ardent Survivor to drop off all the weapons we found on the assassin.

“I still can’t believe where she had that stiletto switchblade hidden.” That and Jade had to thoroughly wash her hands in scalding hot water at the horror of where she found one of those weapons. Said weapon was also washed off quite thoroughly as well.

“You can say that again Jade.” Flying, walking and in general moving around with that where it was must have been constantly uncomfortable. “Can you get your mind back on our date? Also when were you going to tell me you had your knife, griffon feather and fish scale necklace on you?”

“If you had asked, I would have told you Fizzy.” Okay, I’ll give Jade that. I hadn’t really asked her to come on this date unarmed and it was rather prudent that she was armed. “I had them on me just in case something went wrong. Which it did… because the box got destroyed!”

“Can you please stop going on about the box Jade?” I sighed and decided to say something I might regret later. “We’ll stop by a furniture store and get another box for you once we’re ready to head home, but you better not destroy it!”

Jade’s ears perked up immediately, her childishness just made me smile.

We were out to find a nice place for lunch. A place that wouldn’t look down on Jade for not being a pony. Jade could eat vegetarian, she didn’t necessarily need meat when her diet already consisted mostly of fruit, cheese, beans and vegetables.

“How about that café Fizzy?” It looks good to me Jade, I nodded and we waited to be seated. “Just a heads up, we have a budget for lunch. We can’t spend more than thirty bits on it.”

“I’m sure the food here is not nearly that expensive Jade.” So this was how dates were supposed to go? Spend some time in the park, get attacked by a silent assassin that we stole weapons off of like kleptomaniacs and then just go to lunch like it didn't happen.

We were soon seated by the stallion waiter.

“What will you ladies be having to drink this evening?” The stallion didn’t act snooty and he wasn’t treating Jade poorly. This might be a nice place to visit again, the food was affordable and we were both being treated fairly.

“Lemonade, and I already know what I want. The vegetable lasagna, hold the squash.” The stallion seemed a bit surprised that Jade’s order didn’t involve meat, but he took it down and turned to me.

“I’d like some pomegranate juice and the broccoli casserole please.” With my order taken, I started some small talk. "Is there anywhere fun you'd like to go afterwards?"

Chapter Ten, Ass-assins and the "normal date": Donkey wrong.

-Matilda-

Okay, time to approach them and ask about that unique skirt, don’t think I’ve ever seen an Abyssinian wear something like that. I haven’t really met many to begin with.

“Excuse me, but where did you get that nice skirt miss?” I approached the two and prepared to lace the drink with poison when I’ve managed to distract them well enough.

“A local unicorn made it, but I prefer wearing shorts though and I don’t care how fashionable it is.” The cat that was our target seemed a bit flippant about her appearance. “I’ll only wearing skirts on dates.”

“Why, I think you look good in a skirt.” Her protective pony companion asked while looking at her.

“Too much loose fabric that can get caught up on things while running around, even if I can hide things in it like a knife or a few spare arrows for Jacky.” Okay I’m getting the feeling that the cat was not just a regular priest just from hearing that, she was armed and dangerous. “Do you think a skirt would work better on Jacky? We don’t know what she would look like outside of her pirate outfits.”

“Jacky wearing a skirt wouldn’t be bad, I think she’d wear one if it were pirate themed.” The pony snorted and started giggling into her hoof. “I’m just imagining all the trouble she’d get into wearing a skirt.”

“Yeah, that would be pretty bad.” The cat agreed snickering.

“Excuse me, but did you need the name of who made my skirt miss…?” The target looked to me for a name.

“My name is Matilda, it’s nice to me you.” I never needed to use a false name, because I was never caught in the act. I started hoofing my choice of poison delivery, I just needed a single moment to get it in the drink. “Also yes, it might be nice to know the name of a new clothier.”

“I’m Jade and this is Fizzle. My skirt made by a pony named Rarity and she’s not a clothier.” Well that was disappointing to hear Miss Jade. “At least not yet anyway, she’s training to be a fashion designer. I think she’ll eventually get quite good at it.”

“She made that skirt for you for free right?” Fizzle narrowed her eyes at Jade.

“Yeah, but she has delusions of grandeur, is forcing a fake airy Canterlot accent and wants to eventually marry a prince.” Jade reached out with a paw and settled it on one of Fizzle’s hooves, they were looking into each other’s eyes. I took this opportunity to drop the dissolving poison cube into the glass. “So really, you don’t have to worry about much there Fizzy.”

Sorry girls, but that poison will make the Jade very sick and she’ll die of natural causes thanks to the antibody killing poison.

“As heartwarming as this is...” I made my way for the exit as the waiter was bringing them their food, no one was the wiser. “I have other things to do and I thank you for your time.”

-Jade-

I dipped my claws carefully into the glass of lemonade and pulled out the barely visible melted cube, barely visible to a pony's eyesight anyway. Fizzle looked at the cube with a highly perplexed expression on her face.

I turned to the waiter and could not believe what I was about to ask him, what’s more I could not believe that Matilda was an assassin. Good thing Fizzle’s eyes are so reflective, bright and wonderful to look into, or else I wouldn’t have noticed Matilda making a move to put something in my drink.

Matilda was supposed to be a nice jenny, I guess even a friendly face like hers could be dangerous. This might explain how she got into the gala to meet Cranky, which is a rather exclusive stomping grounds for nobles, a who’s who of high profile people and those rare few that could get a ticket to the event.

It made me wonder if Cranky was also a… no… that thought led to complete madness.

“Waiter, could you get me a new glass of lemonade, I think an assassin just poisoned this one.” I dropped the cube onto the napkin and carefully wiped my claws off on it.

“Very well miss, I’ll see to it that the glass is thoroughly washed and will bring you a new one.” That was the calmest response to an assassin trying to poison someone that I’ve ever heard, the stallion started placing our food on the table. He took up my glass and looked at the melted cube questioningly. I carefully wrapped it up and moved it over to his tray. “I’ll just dispose of this safely, I’m sorry you experienced trouble at our restaurant miss. I offer my humblest apologies.”

“I should be apologizing, the assassin was after me and they possibly ruined one of your glasses.” The stallion simply nodded.

“Very well then. I accept your apology and you must accept ours… would a free dessert for two help?” The stallion got an big smile from me.

“It sure would! I need to go wash my claws, I’ll be back in a minute Fizzy.” I got up and went towards the bathroom. “Oh and you can start eating without me!”

-Fizzle-

“You seem rather unperturbed by this.” I idly commented to our waiter, I looked around the streets for that ass and didn’t see her anywhere.

Well no point in going after her now, I might as well dig into the food. Only, I was a bit hesitant.

“This isn’t the first time someone’s tried to ruin our good service record miss.” The blue haired stallion took up his tray and nodded to me. “I’m Mr. Fare, one of the owners of this restaurant. I can at least assure you that the food wasn’t tampered with, for what it’s worth I can take a bite out of those dishes personally to make sure.”

“No need to do that, I trust you.” I doubt the owners of this restaurant would want to poison us or let it be known that one of their customers was poisoned by a sneaky ass.

What would have happened if Jade hadn’t caught seen the assassin poisoning her glass? We’d be down a phoenix feather at best. Well I would have to hope that she’s carrying a phoenix feather on her for safety from things like that.

“Very well, I’ll be back with the lemonade for your special friend. Tell her that when you’re done with your meal you can either take a dessert for two now or you can do so later with a voucher.” He smiled at me. “The two of you are quite cute together.”

“I… well thank you Mr. Fare.” Knowing my cat as well as I do, I felt like Jade would go for something sweet and delicious. “Knowing her, she’ll want that dessert after we're done eating.”

“That Abyssinian seems to want to have you for dessert, but I personally think the both of you are far too young for that sort of thing.” His chuckling caused me to blush a bit. “Oh, so you know about the birds and the bees?”

“Yes, what do you know about the hummingbird mafia personally?” I didn’t understand why I was getting such a perplexed look.

-Matilda-

“You’ve failed, the cat immediately knew the glass was poisoned somehow.” Thanks for informing me that I should watch my back Mr. Obelus. “She didn’t even see you slip the poison in, yet she already knew it was there as soon as you left and pulled the remaining bit of the cube out more than halfway dissolved.”

“I guess I’ll need to lay low for a while, a nice trip to Las Pegasus is in order.” I wasn’t sticking around here, I didn’t want those two to point me out as an assassin if they stuck around. I had a good reputation in Ponyville. “I have a few easier contracts that I can take around there.”

“You go do that, I can easily take the target out myself.” You are a cold jack Mr. Obelus. I tried and the target is smart enough to catch me in the act, so I’m definitely out. I might try getting out of the game of intrigue entirely.

“You can try, but I’m not going to pursue this any further.” I left Mr. Obelus to his work to go pack for a nice relaxing stay in Las Pegasus, they’d forget me eventually if I stayed out of sight and out of mind. “The pay may be good, but it’s not worth sticking around for at this rate.”

-Obelus-

I set up after Matilda left, she had gotten pretty close with her poison. Blade hadn’t even scratched them and the pony took her down swiftly with a little help from the one that is supposedly a priest.

Useless the both of them, I took aim and was ready to shoot the girl as soon as she left the restaurant. I was using a full sized crossbow this time.

-Jade-

This lasagna was pretty good, I wondered if Fizzle would want to discuss the things mom learned from Zecora. Mom could feasibly make potions now, she just hasn’t tried yet. Instead I focused on the food.

“So how’s your broccoli casserole Fizzy?” There was a problem with my date, she looked a little glum while she was eating. “Fizz… are you feeling alright?”

“How can you be so carefree Jade, especially when there are assassins out to kill you?!” Don’t worry about this so much Fizzle.

I wonder if mom knows the recipe for this lasagna?

“For one, I know for a fact that you’ll protect me if I’m in danger. You’ll come to save me, like I would you.” Please understand that I trust you to watch my back Fizzle. “Sekhet's training is really paying off, did you see what you did to that poor assassin in the park? You bounced her off the tree and then smashed her down into the ground, she could hardly get up after that.”

“Yeah and I almost took a knife to my back because I got careless again.” She looked down at her plate, I stood up and moved my chair and food around to her side and lifted her chin with my left hand. I looked her in the eyes.

“Fizzy stop being sad, no one’s perfect and I’m definitely not.” I kissed her on the cheek. “A pretty pony like you doesn’t deserve to be sad.”

“I sometimes feel like we don’t deserve to be friends.” She threw a leg around me when I frowned at her, she sent me a reassuring smile while pulling me close. “Though I’m definitely glad to have met you and I can say for certain that we have something special. So what do you want for dessert?”

“A lady always chooses first.” My chivalry was met with a derisive snort.

Fizzle gave me a simple humor filled smirk, it reminded me of an echo of her future self.

“Aren’t you a girl too Jade?” At her words I shifted my backside a bit and my tail swatted her butt making her yelp.

“I may be female, but you know I’m no lady Fizzy!” Forking the remainder of my lasagna, I thrust it messily into my mouth. I wiped my face off and leaned into Fizzle who was almost done with her food. “You, Fizzy, are like a princess to me. I can be your shining knight, even if the princess herself can fight harder than her knight can.”

“You’re not a knight though Jade.” We waited for the waiter to get back to us about that dessert, she started giggling a bit. “You’re a rogue priest, but I guess I can settle for that.”

We chose the baked apple dumpling and ice cream, served with chocolate, caramel and nuts.

“This was a nice choice Fizzle, but not nearly sweet as you are.” I spoon up a bit of the ice cream, caramel and chocolate for a bite. Smiling, I dabbed what was left onto Fizzle’s nose. Making her blink at me questioningly. “It seems you’ve got a bit of something on your nose Fizzle, let me take care of that.”

I licked it off and she turned straight red. That was a new record for me.

I giggled in amusement before my own noise was swatted with a bit of apple, Fizzle was looking at me with her narrowed eyes. She then smiled fondly and took the apple chunk in her teeth and swallowed it, then followed that up by licking my nose off.

“I took care of some of the stuff on your nose as well.” I swear, we were being so sweet right now. It was to the point that we were giving people cavities by proximity. “Now I know why you do it so much. I’m not meek Jade, I will and can retaliate by making you blush too!”

“I think I may have bitten off more that I can…” Fizzle kissed me and forced bits of dumpling and ice cream into my mouth.

“More than you can ever possibly chew Jade.” Seeing Fizzle’s brave side was something I liked. “You’re my special some cat.”

"Says my special some pony." I think we’re done here, especially since Fizzle fed me the last of the dessert.

I just have to pay for lunch, then we’d do something fun to work off the weight.

-Obelus-

It looks like they were done and coming out. I took aim and stopped, I glance around looking for anything that could possibly disturb me. No crazy pink pony asking for a party, no insane turtle that could possibly pop up out of nowhere and no evil Sphinx.

This shot was one hundred percent foolproof. I aimed my crossbow, they walked out and I was about to pull the trigger. Only something familiar entered my nose, I looked up at the cloud with a small dent in it shaped like the dart now taking up my face.

I hated life and everything in it right now.

The poison started screwing up my vision immediately. I quickly scrabbled to get a syringe with the antidote out and flailed about trying to stick the needle into myself. Once I managed to stick myself in the leg, I started to lose control of my limbs and it became a bit hard to push plunger down.

Once I managed to finally solidly push the plunger on the syringe in, I sighed with relief. Only then did I realize that I was missing my opportunity!

I sat up and took aim. I fired at the green target despite my vision blurring, afterwards I fell over and waited for the antidote to work its way into my system.

-Bon-Bon-

Ugh, why couldn’t life stop being so… darn it! I quickly flicked up the nearby trash can lid and it took the arrow sailing for Lyra’s head with a clang. I immediately slammed the lid back onto the garbage can before Lyra noticed anything was off.

“What was that Bon-Bon?” Lyra turned back to me with a curious look on her face.

“Just a raccoon Lyra, excuse me.” I had an assassin to beat up.

-Fizzle-

“Can’t we just ignore the salamanders Jade?” I knew we would fight the fire breathing lizards.

"Nope!" Jade charged forward.

I sighed, rolled my eyes, smiled and then followed after her.

Author's Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DxV5_A-K_4

Chapter Eleven, Blueblood Bandits: Permission slanted.

-One week later, Jade-

Okay I couldn’t have known this at the time, but now that I thought about it… I might have been partially responsible for Cranky getting the run around from Matilda. When Cranky said he searched everywhere for her, he was literally searching in all the right places only for Matilda to start running.

From Matilda’s side of things, she could have been avoiding someone chasing after her that might know she’s an assassin or she might think someone sent assassins after her. As an assassin she was rightfully paranoid, thus it would be years before the two donkeys met and got together.

I felt bad about that, but it’ll happen eventually… right?

Anyway, it wasn’t my fault that Cranky missed the note that Matilda left about finding her in Ponyville. The note likely went ignored and was put in the trash somewhere by a maid, so that clearly wasn’t on me! What was on me is Cranky missing Matilda in Ponyville because I caught her trying to poison me.

As interesting as it is to be a part of fate, among being an absolutely large gray area for me, it was time for me and my friends to do something huge and get away with it.

First I had to run it by my team first, by letting them know that we even were a team to begin with. I would then run it by Celestia by not speaking directly about what I’m actually going to do and then, and only then, can I carry out my plan to steal a heavy malleable precious metal ship that’s eating up a ton of resources in upkeep that could be better spent elsewhere.

Does anyone know how expensive it is to replace machinery made out of gold? I’m sure Jacky does and could crunch those numbers.

Hopefully Celestia didn’t believe in solid gold toilets.

I would just be bringing it to Celestia’s attention, like how Sekhet was brought to her attention. Said attention would happen by no one ever telling Celestia anything about it, at least until it was too late and she finds out on her own.

“Jade… hello… you feeling okay in there?” Fizzle was in my face and I jumped back in shock, she gave me a worried look when my cardboard box flipped onto its side.

Her mane was back in its customary pulled back style, as for me I told her if she wanted my hair to look nice then she’d have to take care of it herself outside of dates. Fizzle took that as a challenge and was now brushing and combing my hair daily. I appreciated the effort and it felt nice to have someone care about you that much.

“Sorry Fizzy, I was a little preoccupied with my thoughts.” I flipped my cardboard box back into position and stood up, I have had an odd obsession with it ever since we got it at the furniture store. It sometimes made me wonder how much of my cat instincts were coming into play when it came to loving my cardboard box as I did. “Did you get everyone together?”

“Yes, that’s what you asked for, even Sekhet is waiting on you. What’s this all about? Is this about the salamanders we fought on our date last week?” We handled ourselves pretty well that day Fizzle.

Salamanders were easy to handle when you throw what amounts to a bucket of water down their throats. It left them completely incapable of breathing fire for a while, I knew for a fact that something like that wouldn’t ever work on a dragon’s magical flames.

“No this is something else, Celestia is visiting today and I’m about to make Jacky a happy bird.” Okay, maybe I should have worded that a bit better. Fizzle was now delicately raising her brow with the scar running through it at me. I had to admit she was cute when she got jealous over me. “I hope you assume I meant that in a platonic sense, we’re going to do something huge that will attract a lot of attention in a pirate like manner.”

“You better have meant that in a platonic sense Jade! It’s already complicated with Maries making moves on the both of us. I don’t exactly dislike that she’s doing it either…” It was so nice to be told off by my special some pony, it let me know that not everyone agrees with the things I do. They would definitely tell me if I was going too far and it was nice to hear Maries was making some headway with Fizzle, she hasn’t gotten very far with me yet. “I think I might have an addiction to receiving special attention.”

“Well you have my attention right now Fizzy.” Just lay on the charm and I could make her smile while blushing a bit.

“Right, come on down and explain to us what you’re going to get us into this time Jade.” Why of course my dear Fizzle. I went to the door and held it open for her while bowing. “It better not be something we can’t handle.”

“After you my lady and I assure you it won’t be that bad.” She nuzzled me on the way out the door.

-Thirty minutes later.-

I had laid everything out to them and the first to respond was our friendly morning pony Fresh, who was busy serving our needs as I told everyone the two things I wanted to do.

“What!?” Fresh Start obviously didn’t like my idea. “Are you insane?”

“Yes.” I calmly answered.

“Well at least the Captain admits to it.” Of course I do Jacky, I’m just making sure everyone else knew that I obviously was. Apparently Fresh hadn’t acknowledged that yet. "Sounds like they're good plans to me Captain."

“Jade, that’s almost well thought out, but how will we know which ship is the right one?” Looking to Fizzle, I pointed out the flying turtle cuddling my right shoulder affectionately. She nodded in understanding. “I rescind my question, Jade has thought of that.”

“A guild run by Sekhet would be pretty nice and it wouldn’t be too hard for her to do as she doesn’t have much to do as my secretary yet, but that second thing is a little bit more iffy my little tom cat.” Mom needed me to convince her that it was a good idea, but I knew we that we could pull it all off without charges being brought against us. I should be a lawyer that says ‘objection’ a lot. “I’m not letting you do it unless I can come along to make sure you don’t get into any trouble you can’t wiggle your way out of. I’m still rather upset that your date last week involved assassins and salamanders.”

“The salamanders were more like wimpy alligators after we doused them mom, they weren’t that dangerous.” Backup from Fizzle, my hearts aflutter! Speaking of Fluttershy, I wondered if our epic pacifistic druid was joining our game of O and O later after this meeting.

“I notice that you didn’t correct me on the assassins not being dangerous my little Fizzle.” It wasn’t like we could say that they weren’t dangerous mom, at least I haven’t had a single attempt on me for the last few days since then.

Someone out there has an open price on my head and I did absolutely nothing to warrant it, at least I don’t think I did… or did I? Huh, maybe I’m reaping what I sowed? I wouldn’t know, because the assassins never explained to me what I was being targeted for.

If it was because I was a sun priest, then that was a really flimsy reason to have me killed! It would just aggravate me into taking action against the one that was employing them. As far as I knew, I wasn’t doing anything a standard sun priest would. Therefore I don’t see why someone would go to the effort to have me killed, it was like they were actively trying to make me their problem.

“I’m willing to make my pyramid the guild and town hall.” At least Sekhet gave me a vote of confidence of that.

“I’m fine with that, but do you seriously think you can get Celestia to agree to letting you do what you plan to do?” Cheerilee seemed less worried about my plan and more worried about Celestia seeing something wrong with it.

“Easily teach. When she comes, I’ll just ask her and you’ll see. I’ll even get her exact words on paper.” Because I wasn’t going to tell her everything like I just told all of you. “She’ll be completely fine with it and will grant me permission to do as I see fit.”

“By the way your math skills are still horrible Jade. Do I need to get Jacky or Maries to tutor you?” Well that would certainly be embarrassing, did you seriously have to bring that up right now Cheerilee?

“Get Fizzle to do it, she’s slowly coming to understand Jade’s idiosyncrasies in the places where I can’t.” Go mom, make Fizzle cuddle me more!

“I don’t think that’s a good suggestion, I think Jade would get too… distracted.” Cheerilee was giving me a sharp look and I looked away trying to act innocently.

I was failing quite badly, so I decided to speak up.

“Anything else anyone wants to bring up? Something that’s not related to my minor dyscalculia problem?” It was definitely only a minor problem, they were always blowing this way out of proportion. “It’s only high level complicated math that gives me problems, I can function in society with the math skills I have right now.”

“That may be so, but I want you to get the best education I can give you Jade.” Cheerilee was openly teaching a classroom that looked like a circus.

Come and be amazed at beast tamer Maries, no she’s not the beast, she’s is in fact the tamer of the beasts folks. Come watch our professional clown Jacky Blackcap Chickadee cause humorous calamity and woe with her very proximity! Join me ring keeper Jade and my beautiful magical assistant Fizzy for a show of amazing prestidigitation that will boggle minds. Introducing our newest member the strong cow, the mighty Arizona! Despite her size, can move fast and hit hard… like a donkey cart even!

“Jade just zoned out again.” Hearing Fizzle’s words, I blinked and came back to the present.

“Sorry, was anything important said while I was thinking about my plans for the Airship Maulers?” What… why were you all staring? It was the name of our guild, it was not indicative of our local goddess’s plight or our habit of wrecking airships at all.

We still had The Ardent Survivor after all, so what if it was named to survive the rigors of our collective insanities?

“Airship Maulers, that sounds a little too on the beak doesn’t it Captain?” Oh sure, like you could have come up with something much better Blackcap.

“Excuse me, but I think I would like to bring up the topic of fruit.” Oh goddesses here we go again the daily Wary Berry report! Annoying fruit hating purple furred, blue haired busybody. I shouldn’t have saved her from the one eyed flying purple pony eater. “Everything seems fine with our fruit grove, but I think we should keep a closer eye on it. Who knows when the fruit will go bad. The fruit may even jump off the trees and attack us!”

-One hour later, Celestia.-

I walked into The Witch’s Fare, everyone turned to me and only the ponies bowed. I was still getting used to the idea that not everyone would praise the ground I walked upon, it was very refreshing to be treated as normal around here.

It makes my day really, but only when Twilight or Spike haven’t made my day themselves. Spike was such an adorable baby dragon. I guess I had Sekhet to thank for this. In fact, I glared in her direction and she glared right back. We had a mutual dislike of one another going and it meant we were truly the best of immortal friends!

Jade immediately got up and approached me while tossing some O&O dice over her shoulder.

“Jade’s character survives, but both her legs are crippled and she’s now on the ground.” After hearing Sekhet dryly state that out loud, I watched as the pony that I believed is called Fluttershy whimper loudly.

“Darn it, I thought the end result of that toss would be cooler…” Muttered the feline sun priest grumpily.

“It happened my little tom cat, get over it.” It seems like Mayor Kuril was sour about how the game was currently going. “I don’t even see what you have to complain about, my character has a cursed spear still sticking out of her torso and can’t even remove it without dying.”

“Fresh, roll for me and make the dumbest moves possible, I’m feeling reckless today.” After telling their live in maid that, Jade turned to me. “Can we talk outside so we don’t interrupt the game?”

“Of course.” I turned and exited the restaurant with Jade on my heels. “What did you want to talk to me about? It seems the fruit grove is coming in nicely since I last visited.”

“It is coming in quite nicely, our strawberry patch is certainly producing tasty results. I was wanting to ask, what should I do if I suddenly found out about anything illicit going on in Canterlot?” There seems to be something to this question that Jade was telling me.

I pondered for a moment on my answer, she was being a bit shifty about something.

“You’d tell the royal guard of course.” That seemed like a decent response to me and the cat just frowned.

“What if they guards didn’t believe me or were being paid to ignore my concerns about such illicit activities?” She was trying to lead me somewhere, I just have this feeling something was up.

“I’m quite sure that the royal guard wouldn’t be involved in any illegal activity.” Was that a smile I saw, it was off her face too fast to tell. She knew something about the royal guard involving illicit activities, maybe it’s just Cadence and Shining Armor.

“So, would you say I’d have to find evidence of such illicit activities and then place it in your hooves directly?” You seemed almost too eager to do just that. Why am I so suspicious of you being up to no good? A sun priest shouldn’t feel like this. “You know to prevent anyone from tampering with the evidence.”

“Yes, you could do that, if you can prove to me without a doubt that the evidence isn’t forged and it comes from someone who is doing said illicit activities.” Nodding the cat ran off and eventually came back with ink and paper.

“Could you write a list down for me about this very subject?” You were being peculiar Jade, then again you’re not a normal sun priest by any stretch of the imagination. I wrote down several things for her based on the laws that she was asking about and she smiled, what did I do and why did my spine chill at her smile. “Is that all?”

“Yep, come back inside Celestia, mom made some cake brownies!” I was no longer in control of my body at her seductive words.

Author's Notes:

Jaded La Perm uses Cake Brownies!

It's super effective!

Celestia has fainted... at the taste of cake and brownie intertwined.

The opponent is about to be Luna.

Would you like to change food items?

(Yes)/ maybe/ no/ cuddle.

Jaded La Perm sets out BF Moon Pies!

Chapter Eleven, Blueblood Bandits: Permission entry.

-Jade-

As soon as Celestia left I turned to everyone else.

“Okay, we will do it, I basically got all the written permission I need right here! First Maries, I need you to come to Ponyville with me, Cheerilee and Dr. Permanganate. We need to you to study for a really hard test and a few hundred laws. Some of them will be obscure, but only you can do this for me… please?” I had Maries confused, but she nodded anyway. “Good. Fizzle you and Jacky are going to be working on two different things. Jacky I need you to work on your archery and learn how to do trick shots… with a party cannon. If you can do them with the bow, then we’re even better off. Fizzle you’ll need to work on your stamina and endurance because you’ll be doing a lot of running around for me, learn some acrobatic evasion maneuvers while you’re at it. Mom will help you with that by making a stamina potion or two, but she’ll be mostly working on the powder we’ll need to pull this all off and you need to know how to pace yourself. As for me… I’ll be working on how to do a Bavarian Fire Drill correctly. If it actually works, then it’ll all just go a little smoother and as planned.”

“What’s a Bavarian Fire Drill?” Fluttershy asked confusedly as she nibbled at a cake brownie.

“Don’t worry about it Fluttershy. If you want in on this you can be a lookout or just continue being a simple bystander to our actions, we’ll owe you a huge favor later if you help us though.” She didn’t seem to like that idea so I changed up my thoughts on this. “If you don’t want anything to do with robbing a criminal and then alerting Celestia to the evidence in an over the top showy fashion, and we will need to steal said evidence since it’s so large, then you can opt out and leave while you still have complete plausible deniability.”

“What would I have to do as a lookout?” Fluttershy’s words had me shocked, which was an understatement. Innocent little Fluttershy would help a group of criminals and scoundrels? Well we’re not criminals yet and if she sells us out, I can probably make that work too.

“Not much, I would just need you to inform Fizzle when it’s the right time for her to act and whether my ridiculously convoluted plot is going south or not. If it goes south, it’ll still work as intended.” And the only one that could really screw over or stop my plans is Shining Armor. “Come on Maries, Cheerilee and Mr. Permanganate, we’re heading to Ponyville!”

My reasoning was that Shining Armor would be a huge linchpin to my plan something fierce, just because of the fact that he has absolutely nothing to do with it. I understood how the magic of this world worked and there was no feasible way we could get away without a single individual finding out about the plot and trying to screw it over. So I specifically thought of the first person I would want to screw up my convoluted plot, Shining Armor.

“I didn’t agree to do any of this.” Cheerilee stated loudly, I moved over to her and whispered in her ear. She blinked, had a thoughtful look on her face, then she smiled. “Okay, I’ll do it, but only if Maries can actually pass that test in the next five days.”

-One week later, Shining Armor.-

I was a blue haired unicorn stallion with white fur that had a powerful little sister, it made me feel a bit inadequate at times that she was so gifted.

“Excuse me, but who are you?” I stared at the tall bipedal figure wearing an obviously fake mustache, overalls with a green shirt and was carrying a ladder under her left limb. She was also wearing a green cap with a bright green ‘J’ emblazoned on it. I could tell it was going to be one of those days. “Also, do we really look that stupid? Come on Spearhead back me up here.”

“Yes, do tell us why you’re here and really… that has got to be the dumbest disguise I’ve ever seen in all my life.” My friend in the Pegasus guard armor moved up to glare at the feline figure, who was staying remarkably calm in the face of trying to infiltrate the castle and badly at that. “You’re not even hiding the fact that you’re obviously up to something!”

Did this female cat think she could just waltz on by my post without me questioning anything odd about her?

“I’m the window person here to get an assessment for the ‘Glasses and Staches’ Company and before you ask, the mustache is in fact an absolute company policy while on the job. Which is one of the reasons why not many people are willing to work for ‘Glasses and Staches’, it also sounds too much like a joke shop company.” That was so stupid. I, or anybody else for that matter, would or could not possibly believe that such a dumb sounding company actually exists. “So if I could just move on through to measure the new windows for this stained glass order, then I can give the crafts ponies the measurements for the new artistic panes Celestia wants installed.”

“Look, do you seriously think I’m going to buy that? Then sell me a bridge Manehatten you….” I started only to be cut off by my one true love in life.

“Oh you’re from the ‘Glasses and Staches’ Company, come on in!” Wha… Cadence what are you doing? The unusual cat is obviously trying to infiltrate the castle for something nefarious!

“Sure thing princess… wait… there’s more than one princess?” Your fake surprise doesn’t fool me cat, I know that you’re up to something and I’m going to find out what!

“Let me escort you Cadence and this… worker. Spearhead stay here and watch our post.” I had a suspicious cat creature to keep an eye on.

-Jacky-

“Huh, she actually managed to get in.” I pulled a pouch off my side and dropped it into Fizzle’s waiting hoof. “Darn it Captain, I didn’t think you were that smooth!”

“Never bet against Jade when she has something going, she’ll always surprise you. Even if this is the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard of.” Fizzle got up and started trotting away with the money from our bet. “Still, if it works… is Jade’s plan really so stupid?”

“If it’s the Captain, then yes, it’s a stupid plan that works.” This was exasperating and I was shaking my head in disbelief as I followed after Fizzle. “It doesn’t help that she has legitimately found a rather ridiculous company that’ll actually pay her for doing a legally obtained job for only a few hours. The stuff she has to wear for this looks horrible.”

“Yeah, I hate the fake mustache too Blackcap.” Sorry Fizzle, but that wasn’t what I was talking about.

“I was talking about the overalls, the mustache is at least good with that hat.” It’s what I thought and you couldn’t change my mind on it Fizzle, the Captain is absolutely working that mustache.

“No the overalls are what goes great with that hat, the mustache is the completely superfluous part of this whole thing!” I gave Fizzle a flat look and she returns it with her own.

“It’s part of the job and she has to wear it to get into the castle!” Technically that wasn’t true, Celestia could have just let her into the castle and given her free reign to run around for a while. That would have implicated the princess and we needed her as a judge in case we get thrown into jail over this, Celestia couldn’t be our judge if she was the one that let Jade into the castle. Princes Cadence on the other talon… she was alright. “Besides she needs at least one of the guards suspicious of her if she’s to get her plan to work correctly and she’s really rocking that mustache.”

“It’s the hat that’s really pulling the whole ensemble together and you know it!” We started arguing with one another as we started moving about Canterlot setting things up for later.

-Cadence-

“What is your problem with her Shiny?” He seemed quite suspicious of the cute Abyssinian worker. “She’s not doing anything wrong and yes the ‘Glasses and Staches’ Company is a real thing. They do really good work, even if their policies on mustaches leaves something to be desired… although she doesn’t look to bad in it.”

“I actually think it’s the hat that’s pulling her disguise together Cady, but that’s not the point. Don’t you find her the least bit suspicious?” What was suspicious about her Shiny, was it that she existed?

“Look, if you’re so worried about her why don’t you ask her for her credentials?” That would solve this matter very quickly. “There’s nothing illegal about her getting a job here in Equestria.”

“You, stop!” I watched as Shiny pointed towards the cat in the strange get up with the ladder, she did as asked and then Shiny made his way up to her. “Do you have any credentials on you to prove that you are working for this Gas Company?”

“You said gas.” The cat started sniggering while covering her face with her right hand. After she calmed down, she reached into a pocket and pulled out a bunch of papers with a card.

After looking over them, Shiny froze for a few seconds and then handed them back to the worker.

“Those credentials can’t be faked, she’s really working for a company named that.” Well don’t looked so shocked, Celestia has always used the ‘Glasses and Staches’ brand. In fact, I think auntie is even going to teach or will eventually get Twilight to learn the mustache spell. Auntie Celestia always does have a nice sense of humor.

“Excuse me, but if Celestia is the princess of the sun… what are you the princess of?” I dropped on back to have a chat with the green haired cat, while Shining glared at her. Really now, it wasn’t like she was the world’s most competent cat burglar. Who steals cats anyway?

“I’m Princess Mi Amore Cadenza the princess of love, but you can call me Cadence.” Maybe I could have a new friend after Fresh Start moved away, it would certainly be nice. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Jaded La Perm, but I prefer Jade personally.” She looked to me in a curious manner. “So if you’re really the princess of love then maybe you could…”

“No, I don’t like abusing my magic in any way that you can think of.” The horrors of false love laid on a path of good intentions, I wasn’t the mare to take advantage of such power.

“Magic… what does that have to do with asking for help with getting a very special pony a present for her birthday?” Her words made me blush, I might have jumped to conclusions far too fast. She was just asking for advice.

“Sorry, it’s just that so many ponies assume I can or would want to force love to happen given where my talents lie.” To say I was sick and tired of it was an understatement, sometimes I wish I didn’t become a princess and could just continue being what I once was. “What can you tell me about this pony of yours?”

“I really don’t know what to get her, she’s not really one for jewelry or baubles really.” If she really needed my advice on this, I would think of something to tell her. “She’s kind of Spartan and doesn’t really want for much, but what she needs is love and I’m trying to give her plenty of that given how much we like snuggling.”

“That sounds cute.” Though such a relationship was a bit unusual, I could clearly feel the love the cat had had for that pony from her voice alone. “Have you thought of getting her something like a locket? She might not be big on jewelry, but if you really do like each other a lot then a locket with a picture may work.”

“Well that’s something to think about, it looks like we’re here. Let me get to work and maybe we can discuss some things on another day.” She sat the ladder against the wall, but then stopped. “Could you maybe hold the ladder for me while I measure the window?”

“Sure.” I moved over to the ladder to assist her, she seemed like a nice cat.

-That evening, Fizzle-

“How did the set up go?” As soon as Jade asked us that, approaching after having swapped into her usual attire, I smiled. It was quiet up here on the rooftops and most ponies don’t look up except for maybe a pegasus pony. “I got my pay and if I ever need work, then the ‘Glasses and Staches’ Company wouldn’t mind having me run a few more errands for them.”

“We’ve got everything ready, all we need to do is gather and strike at an opportune moment.” There was still one problem, which I needed to point out. “Is the ship even in the air docks and are we completely sure it’s the one made mostly out of gold?”

“Snickers!” At Jade’s call, Snickers the turtle dove came flying and she was carrying a small chunk of gold with some paint on it. “You got a piece of that gold ship like I asked to buddy.”

“Coo!” Snickers gave Jade a salute after Jade took the gold.

“Good work buddy.” The flying turtle gave Jade a happy smile as she turned to us. “That confirms it, we’re going after a ship called The Gilded Buttress. Let’s get back to The Ardent Survivor and get ready for tomorrow night’s excitement.”

“I’m glad we’re going to crash that peacock of a noble’s wet dream.” Now that you say that Jacky, I can agree that it needs to be brought to light. “It’s not a real ship in my book, even if it can fly with all that weight.”

“Jade are you really going to hit Sekhet with that airship?” Among my friends, I was still questioning whether we would crash it on Sekhet or not.

“Yes, I’ll hit her with an airship Fizzle, but I will at least give her fair warning before I do and I won’t just immediately ram it into her.” You know Jade, I do love you, but I have to wonder why you are so cold to Sekhet after everything she’s done for us. “I know it may seem cruel, but Sekhet’s a big girl and besides… in the culture she’s from gold is seen as holy or divine. Only it’s actually just highly reactive to magic and a minor ingredient in making magical armor, that's why it’s sometimes referred to as the skin of gods. Problem is, normal gold alone isn’t all that great for anything more than decorative purposes. Electrum is truly what goddesses like Sekhet really use, it’s why her nemes is practically indestructible to so many things.”

“Wouldn’t it be more of a silver color if it was electrum Captain?” Okay a bit lost here, what were you talking about Jacky?

“Sekhet obviously made it look like traditional gold.” Jade informed us while nodding sagely.

Chapter Eleven, Blueblood Bandits: Permission preparations.

-Fluttershy-

Why did I agree to this? I did a lot of dumb things for Rainbow, I guess I was just so used to acquiescing to demands from friends that I agreed to this almost immediately. There is something I could use Jade’s help with though, she seems to be able to do just about anything she puts her mind to with the help of her friends.

“Okay have we got everything, we’re only going to be able to do everything once people! Mostly since they’ll make laws to prevent this from happening again.” It seemed Jade was a bit high strung at the moment. “Plastic ten gallon jug loaded with banana pudding and cake mix?”

“Yes.” Jacky was stuffing it into the party cannon Pinkie got for her, it was nice that she was going to actually use it. Well she was from an island of scary pirates, so she would have eventually anyway I guess.

“Someone help us all if you miss your shot due to bad luck.” Why did Jade have to make me a feel a chill down my spine, I wasn’t going to be directly involved in any of this and even that made it sound dangerous. “Fizzle, bag of torches and self-sustain effect cloak?”

“Got it right here Jade, I also have my route planned. I’m not relying on anything anyone can move and I double checked the time between needing to take those stamina potions.” It sounded like Fizzle had a really tough job ahead of her, she had a one flap bag hanging around her chest and right leg. Sticking out of it were hoof made torches and two corked bottles with strange bright purple fluids. “They don’t make the aching muscles go away afterwards, but those things can keep me going as if I were on an adrenaline rush. Mom, you do really good work.”

“Thank you my sweet little pony.” Kuril was a good mother.

“We’ll try and figure out a horn restoring potion if magical alchemy alone can’t solve the problem. Next…. mom, massive quantities illusion dust?” As Jade went onto the next thing, I began to wonder how they were paying for all this stuff they were using.

“It’s like was born to make illusion dust my little tom cat. I’m definitely a witch with the right stuff.” What was illusion dust, it sounded really magical Kuril. “Our zebra friend might not have an easy time of it as a seasonal thing, but I don’t have that same issue with my magical cooking prowess to speed things up. Also having a massive bag with the same effect as your pack to keep the stuff in top quality conditions helps.”

“Maries, do you have a briefcase, documents, parade dragon costume and a rubber chicken?” Jade rattled off.

“Yes, we’ve got all that settled Jade.” Mara had a portion of the parade dragon costume scrunched up under her right paw. Next to her Maria held a briefcase in her mouth, it was likely filled with the documents they needed for whatever reason. Maries lifted her head high and spoke. “We’re ready for all legal issues of everything we’re going to do, I assure you. Heck most of this won’t likely even be illegal or at least nobody would be able to stick us with any out and out crime, except maybe for the theft of an illegal airship. At most we might end up paying a fine, but I doubt it will come to pass. I’m personally surprised and a bit stunned that there are no laws against using a rubber chicken like that.”

“Yes, Jade should definitely become an evil mastermind.” No she shouldn’t Fizzle, that wouldn’t be very… oh. You were being sarcastic weren’t you? “Would the rubber chicken thing even feasibly work?”

“It better, I spent a lot of time trying to work a rubber chicken into my plan just because it would be too bizarre not to at this point.” Even when you explained it to me Jade, I still couldn’t figure out if you were serious or joking about how you were going to utilize the rubber chicken. I really didn’t need to know what you were going to do with it specifically and now I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

This all seemed really crazy to me, why was I taking part in this again? Well it wasn’t like I was going to do anything big or noticeable and I did want that favor.

“Arizona, got the cow bell?” The young cow rolled her eyes at Jade and just smirked. “Okay, I’ll take that as a yes, because goodness knows where you even keep getting them from. You’ll be with Jacky on takedown duty after she fires the shot that will keep Celestia from interfering for a while.”

“Can’t wait to crack some armor, this is going to be one big hoedown!” I didn’t like Arizona very much, she was very aggressive for such a young cow. She kind of reminded me of Rainbow Dash in a lot of ways, also Gilda… was I blushing?

“The last things we need, well I already have them on me.” Jade produced three items from her pack. One was a visor of some kind with a griffon’s styled visage on it. The next was a red flag with a bunny symbol at the top and the word’s 'Petty Kitty' written on it. The last thing was a simple yellow ocarina. “A flag, a griffon mask and an ocarina.”

“What does the mask do exactly Jade?” The only response Fizzle got was a rather insane grin from Jade.

Oh dear, it was something horrific wasn’t it? Kuril and Jade’s magical alchemy did all sorts of weird things and this must have been something really, really strange. I was afraid of what the answer was, but Jade never answered and just continued to grin as she walked away.

-Aboard The Ardent Survivor, midday above Canterlot with Maries.-

“You know if we get caught, then we can’t defend our actions as well as if we didn’t get caught.” Of the three of us Maria was the most worried about all we would be doing. Our part of the plan was to make an escape route for Jade, if that wasn’t possible then we would at least inform others of things going wrong at that part of the plan.

“The problem is the usage of the rubber chicken and when we use it. It is mockery at its finest, but it is not illegal to use in such a manner. I triple checked while you and Marie were asleep.” Two thirds of us were surprised that Mara actually triple checked our findings.

“That’s a bit surprising coming from you Mara.” Why is that Marie? You may be the most of our intellect and Maria is the most of our caution, but I am the most aggressive in all things.

“Yes and it is up to us to make sure Jade can walk away with currency if she goes through illegal incarceration.” No matter what, I am the drive that keeps us going. I will push us to make sure we succeed in all our endeavors as is my part of our whole. “Our prospective mates want our help, so we will oblige by doing all this as one and eventually… we may be able to eventually ask one or both of them out on a date!”

“Yeah, but where will we go and what will we do for the date that doesn’t result in mass panic?” Maria was always the one to throw in a good thought and the other two of us acknowledged this.

“Who says the date has to be to a place of civilization?” Why did I of the three of us have to open my mouth about that, I Bloody Marie do hereby declare myself an idiot as part of the large whole of the Bloody Maries collective. I hadn’t exactly wanted my sisters to get wind of this idea.

“What do you mean Marie?” Mara turned to me as I looked over the side of the airship towards Canterlot. Then Maria turned to me as well. “Yeah sis, what gives?”

“A date does not necessarily exclusively mean having a meal at a restaurant and or going to locations in civilization to spend time with someone you wish to eventually mate with once you are old enough. To remind you, none of us are old enough according to Matriarch Kurilian.” Well Marie, in for a bit, in for a solid pound of them. So I may as well lay it out to the front two dunderheads. “It is just the meaning of how most civilizations do it. Our date could simply consist of us taking Jade on a fishing trip, since it is a activity we’ve heard that she enjoys from her place of birth. We can also invite prospective mate Fizzlepop on a nature walk and talk to her more. So technically speaking, we don’t have to worry about causing a panic when we do go on our dates. We will cause a panic if we have to do what Jade says we will if we fail to achieve our portion of the mission’s parameters.”

“Yack, yack, yack, all I’m hearing is we’ve definitely got something to do later with Fizzle and Jade.” How astute of you Maria. “So what was the route again? Oh thanks Mara, you seemed to have burned it into all our collective brains.”

“I’m just not leaving anything to chance, unlike our prospective mate Jade does.” We all agreed that the chances of certain things going wrong were pretty high.

-Fizzle, Canterlot that evening.-

Walking around the streets, I was making sure that the set ups were still in place and that no one has tampered with them. This evening was going to be quite chaotic, I looked to Fluttershy who seemed nervous about everything we were doing. I had my cloak on, hood up and a hat over my horn just to make sure nobody causes a scene if my hood gets blown off for any reason.

“You okay there Fluttershy?” The shy pony really didn’t seem like she wanted to take part in any of this.

“I’ll be okay Fizzle, it’s just that there are so many ponies around here.” Right there with you Fluttershy, I didn’t do too well in crowds either with my horn exposed to the world.

“I can understand the feeling, I don’t like other ponies staring at what sets me apart from normal unicorns.” I turned to move away and stopped. “I’ll be watching you, you’ll be fine Fluttershy. Just give me the signal and then get away to a nice spot to watch things play out.”

“O-okay Fizzle, I will.” It seemed Fluttershy was determined to stay and help us with this crazy scheme.

All I had to do now is get into position, watch out for Fluttershy and wait for the signal.

Jade was going to actively rile up Shining Armor, one of the royal guards she met the other day. She may have made a few excuses as to why she was going to do it as part of her plan, but I knew the truth.

Knowing Jade as well as I do, she was likely going to be a petty kitty about something. She hardly let things go by without retaliation, unless someone knew they happened so that they could reason with Jade about it.

I unfortunately didn’t know if Jade had something to be petty about, I was just assuming she did because of the whole rubber chicken thing. I wouldn’t be entirely surprised if something happened to Jade during her portion of the plan, her portion was the most difficult to escape from, which is why Maries are the backup plan for Jade.

Just so long as Jade isn’t hurt badly and is able to come home safely, I’ll be just fine.

-Jade, outside Canterlot Castle.-

I chewed on the honey bun, it was so soft, sweet and delicious. Donut Friendly Joe knows how to make them and be a secret agent on top of being a popular low key establishment.

I was going to need the sugar for all the calisthenics I was going to be doing, outrunning the royal guard wasn’t easy I’ll have you know. Yes, a lot of them were very much incompetent, but their numbers were not to be scoffed at.

Shining Armor was the real problem. The guy would eventually earn his captain of the royal guard position, but today was not that day. He was still a low rank nobody among the royal guard, one that I was about to lure into being a patsy. He was entirely unimportant to my plan, but if I could get him to rile up a number of guards to give chase to me then that would be a success on my part.

It was going to be rough keeping my pack sustained, I couldn’t use my knife’s sustain and had to do this on my own merits. I could still cast, but I didn’t have the resources. I was going to have to make do without my usual loadout of magical alchemy sustain items.

“Hey Shining Armor, guess what?” Groaning at the sound of my cheeky voice was his first response. He was thankfully still on shift and had yet to be swapped out with the night guard. Shining really didn’t like me being friends with Cadence, which was tough luck for him. “You are completely right to be suspicious of me! Isn’t that great for you?”

I liked Cadence and being her friend, though this action might strain our friendship a bit. There were also a few things I didn’t like about Cadence. She was a major girly girl for one, most of my friends were tom cats like me only less masculine than I was.

Jacky didn’t care much for feminine looks, but she was cute and kept that look working for her. She didn’t care for looking better than cute. Fizzle only kept her appearance tidy and didn’t really go all out feminine like she did on our date, I even know for a fact that the eye shadow was definitely mom’s idea and she must be seriously awkward when it comes to prettying herself up.

“What are you talking about?” He turned towards me more alert than before, so did his partner and the two other guards with him.

“Well, I've done my job for the ‘Glasses and Staches’ Company. Now I can carry out my nefarious plot!” Well they seemed to be a bit dull at my proclamation, they were all staring at me. A solid minute passed and one of three other guards coughed into his hoof, I sighed. Okay plan C then. “Okay, fine, you’re not interested in asking. I’ll just have to say something that will get your attention! I’m going to tell Cadence what you really think of her O and O playing skills.”

“You most evil and utterly vile fiend!” Shining Amor shouted, I started running as he had nearly nailed me with a magic blast. “Get her!”

He apparently took his O and O games as seriously as the rest of the people who lived at Airship Mauled! Thankfully Shining Armor had fired first, so I cannot be held accountable for any of the guards I injured for making empty threats. This made me wonder how bad a player Cadence was.

Author's Notes:

I hope the story hasn't gotten to horrible yet, because next chapter is the start of a three part saga about how an airship made out of gold was stolen.

Chapter Eleven, Blueblood Bandits: Permission parade.

-Jade-

My job was simply to gather as many of the royal guard as possible and keep them away from the airship docks. That meant I had to make some noise and attract an egregious amount of attention.

I had succeeded in getting Shining Armor angry, so that wouldn’t be too hard.

If I could find Sturdy Spear, then all the better as he likely still holds a grudge against me.

I wasn’t going to be involved in the theft of the airship directly, that was Jacky’s job.

I was just simply the distraction. Well not so simple really, as dodging blasts of magic from the unicorns wasn’t doing me any favors. However, I would not take the blame for all the collateral damage to the surroundings they were causing. That would just be rude of them, they should really work on their aim and stop blaming the one they are chasing for the damages caused.

Thinking of my pirate parrot pal, she should be firing the party cannon right about now. She had better not miss, because so help me the plan would fall apart entirely if she does!

I jumped over a confused night guard who was just about to go on shift and he took a face full of magic, I would like to point out that I’m not the one that hit him. That one would be on Shining Armor.

Oh look, more armored guards chasing after me. I swear someone is playing a saxophone at high speeds right now. No wait, there was a musician actually chasing us with a saxophone and was playing that music.

I quickly slid under a diving thestral night guard and she slammed into Shining Armor, I started running faster because now I had more than several guards angry. I had quite a few earth ponies trying to tackle me, pegasi and thestrals trying grapple me, all that with unicorns on my ass and I was starting to run out of steam.

Ponies were really fast and hard to evade when you were trying to stay out in the open streets.

“Would you stop following us and playing that music already?!” Shining Armor turned to the saxophone playing pony while still giving chase, she now had a band with her riding on a pony drawn carriage.

Let’s see trumpets, drums, tambourines, xylophone, a banjo player and even hoof held electronic keyboard, wow I was getting a lot of musical support for this chase scene. They’d be useful for what I planned for later, once I eventually got cornered.

“It seems so appropriate though, besides we’re not even in the way!” The saxophone playing mare had a point and Shining Armor just turned back to chasing his quarry, which was me, and fired his horn.

“My cabbages!”

-Jacky-

“My kitten is on the move and she’s attracting more guards to her by the second… oh ouch, that must have hurt. That poor winged pony... anyway she’ll be running past the airship docks soon!” That’s got to be the signal from Kuril to fire the cannon, so I went over to begin aiming the cannon while I listened to her commentary on what the Captain was doing. “Also Jade just caused the destruction of a cabbage stand, isn’t it usually fruit stands that get destroyed in frantic chases like this? No, wait… she’s actively avoiding all the late evening fruits stands and is even making sure they don’t get hit. My daughter loves fruit way too much to want to see any of it destroyed like that… that’s so adorable of her! I mean if she wasn’t being chased by guards firing spells at her, I would gush more about it.”

“Knowing your luck, do you reckon you can even hit such an itty bitty target Chick?” You do know that we’re about to find that out right now Arizona. “Also, from what Jade told us, you need to bounce it up under the bombardment shield the castle has.”

“I’m well aware of that thank you! Jade didn’t take the measurements of that empty window and became friends with the princess of love for nothing.” I noted that the princess didn’t seem to be part of this at all. “Well I think the princess of love thing was not part of the plot, but Captain wanted to be friends with her anyway. So we’ll treat her like our friend too… I wonder if she’s any good at O and O. I should ask Fresh Start when we get home, she knows Princess Cadence pretty well.”

“Meh, who cares, I’m the best fighter in the realm at the game.” Well you better be prepared to help kick some flank Arizona the fighter, because Jade was going to do her best to get enough guards off The Gilded Buttress so we can take it with minimal effort.

Whatever guards Jade doesn’t get away from here by being distracting, we’ll have to scare off or manipulate with the illusion powder once we started pouring it out over the docks.

I looked over the side towards the airship docks and saw a green speck running full tilt down the streets jumping, ducking and weaving between several ponies trying to tackle her to the ground. The Captain seriously needed the exercise.

I took aim at a roof short of Canterlot castle and looked at the window, Celestia was going to be there and I had better do this without hurting anyone. Missing would mean Celestia would interfere in our plans and while I knew we couldn’t keep the gold ship, it was still fun to get away with stealing it for a while.

“Fire in the hole! Please don’t miss…” I offered my prayers to the shot I’m about to take, to anyone who would listen that could make this happen.

I pulled the cord and the ten gallon jug of banana pudding and cake mix rocketed away and bounced off three rooves and was spinning through the air wildly for the window.

-Discord-

I am a draconequus my dear audience, there’s a taste of chaos in the air and it was quite sweet I’ll have you know. That it was righteous chaos was a tad bitter to me, but it would help me gain some of my strength back. At least enough to break free later after the whole Nightmare Moon thing was dealt with.

Whoever it was that prayed for the help of chaos, ask and ye’ shall receive. Wow, somebody has really lousy luck. I’ll do what I can, but no promises!

There’s no stopping that kind of luck after all.

-Celestia-

“Yes, this is the window I want the design in, did you get the measurements for this?” I asked because I didn’t remember one coming by.

“Don’t worry, we got the measurements from a temp job. She came to the castle yesterday. We’ll get right to work on getting it together and installing it tonight.” After she said that I heard a curious noise and looked up at the ten gallon bottle of something balanced precariously in the window. The jug wobbled back and forth, it noticeably had a rubber nipple on it.

Kind of looked like a giant version of a foal bottle really… then I felt a slight pulse of chaos. I’d have to check if Discord was still trapped after I figured out what was in this bottle that just fell into the hallway was. I lifted it, brought it over to me and scanned it thoroughly with my magic.

It was filled with cake mix, banana pudding and a small amount of fresh milk? My magic detected no poison, no curdling and it was all quite fresh. I turned the jug about and found a note attached. I read the note silently.

For Princess Celestia, if found, please give to her immediately. Well I was Princess Celestia, I looked to the ‘Glasses and Staches’ worker.

“You may go prepare the installation now, I’ll deal with this circumspect object.” The mare nodded and ran off.

I looked around to make sure nobody was watching me and that I was completely alone with the alicorn sized baby bottle.

I smiled brightly and rolled on to my back. Spreading my wings wide, I clutched at the bottle with all four hooves and started suckling at the divine substance within. Whoever thought to mix the baked cake mix with the banana pudding was an absolute genius.

It was even chilled to a nice temperature and quite refreshing too!

-Jacky-

“Phew, that was a close one. Celestia successfully pacified!” I bounced the bottle off two roofs, banking it off a third to land in the window precisely. I actually intended it to go through the window and it barely made it past the bombardment barrier. “And you thought I couldn’t do it.”

With my pirate scope, I could see Celestia suckling on the bottle through the window. She’d be busy drinking it.

“Yeah, yeah, you get lucky every now and then.” Arizona was already twirling the lasso and looked exceptionally excited to beat up some ponies. “Get ready to commandeer that ship, we’re going to hogtie whoever is still aboard and throw them off. This is going to be one heck of a rodeo!”

-Jade-

I’m glad I wasn’t bad at geometry or else I might not have gotten the measurements right, I saw the bottle flying towards the castle. I could only hope it kept Celestia busy long enough for me to escape or have already been captured by the time she shows up. Either way the plan would still be successful.

I ducked under a pair of wing blades and saw a flash of golden eyes, oh it was that thestral assassin that tried to kill me! Of course now was not a really good time for her to show up to try and kill me, but I could make it work. Even while I was outrunning, let’s see… one, two, three, four, five, ten, seventeen, carry the two… just a lot of royal and night guards!

I jumped over another pegasus and stomped down on the flame haired one behind them. Oh hey, it was Spitfire!

“Welcome to the party hot stuff!” I don’t think Spitfire liked being called hot stuff, she got up and redoubled her efforts to grab me.

“Why are you being chased this time and why are you annoyingly butting in on my night off tonight?!” Yeah, she was definitely ticked off and nearly got her wing clipped by the incoming spell fire launched by Shining Armor’s unicorn brigade.

“Well then excuse me for living and having a nefarious plan in the works that involves all of the guards chasing me!” I shouted back to her.

Shining was a scarily competent royal guard given how close he’s been to tagging me since I’ve started this chase, which was about to end now that I was about to corner myself… I hoped Fizzle was ready to start moving.

We needed to time this perfectly and I was thankful to the ponies that gave an amusing musical accompaniment to our chase. We already had a band prepared for what I was about to do, but the extra musicians would only help add to selling this huge diversion.

Even if the saxophone player hadn’t joined in with several other ponies, we already scheduled a marching band to be waiting right where I planned to corner myself. The only thing that was iffy about my portion of the plan was getting away with it.

Everyone else could get out easily, because they wouldn’t be in focus. Still Fizzle had to run across the city to get to The Gilded Buttress, while lighting the fuses at the right moments.

The corner point came up on me fast. I came to a stop and turned around to look at all the armored ponies glaring at me and closing in. I released the magical sustain on my pack, my flag popped up launching the two objects I sat on top of it into the air. This spooked all the royal guards into backing up a little bit.

Quickly sustaining my knife I leaned out and quickly caught the ocarina in my left hand. The mask fluttered down and landed in my right. My grin was fifty thousand watts of power and pushing to overload.

“Now to carry out my nefarious plan for all of you!” I stated loudly and theatrically, now wearing the griffon mask that covered my eyes and nose. I held the ocarina up to my mouth, before I started playing Shining managed to get in some comments.

“Really and what are you going to do to stop all of us?” I had at least fifty or more guards here, not bad. “There’s only one of you.”

I didn’t answer him, because I started marching in place and started sustaining my mask. I was so excited that this was going to work. I was sure something would have gone explosively wrong by now, at least on my end of things.

I had done a cast with a copy of this mask and knew what that would do, I might add a griffon mask to my repertoire just for the self-sustaining effect alone. The sustain effect had too many requirements to be really useful, plus it kind of left me vulnerable to monsters. The ocarina itself did less useful things then you would expect as a magical alchemy ingredient. Haven’t tested the flag yet, much less a skirt or the salamander scales.

Thankfully there were no monsters in the city to knock me out of my magical march, unfortunately for everyone else about to be involved in a flash parade.

Lifting my thighs high into the air, I started to slowly trundle forward. The assassin came at me, the guards might have mistaken her for one of their own. She stopped and blinked owlishly as she started following me in my march. The area of effect started growing and I couldn’t keep the smirk off my face as soon as Shining Armor got pulled into the march as I played my music.

The band we truly scheduled for this parade was waiting right where they needed to be and after a minute the marching music suddenly evolved when they joined. I had formed a parade where more than half the ponies wanted to throttle my ass, but couldn’t because they were stuck parading behind my slowly marching form as my tail bounced in time to the rhythm of the music.

The minute I stopped the march, I’d be dogpiled by all the royal guards or killed by Miss Stabby Mcstabberson the thestral.

It would have to inevitably stop, I couldn’t keep this up forever.

-Fluttershy-

Wow, Jade had a lot of guards following her… oh right the signal!

“Sorry, but I’m getting a bit tired.” I yawned and spread my wings widely and flapped them twice, the chirping birds started tweeting sadly. I had fun feeding the birds as I waited for things to start. “I can come back to visit or you can visit me in Cloudsdale, besides it’s getting late. Shouldn’t all of you be getting to your nests?”

-Fizzle-

Maybe this plan wasn’t such a train wreck after all… I pulled out a torch, lit my horn and held the torch up to it. It ignited and I started lighting the fuses.

The fireworks went brilliantly with the building parade, I needed to move now and fast!

Author's Notes:

(New Magical Alchemy Ingredients!)

22. Griffon Mask.
23. Ocarina.

First this tune.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dqUKAQIu6E

Then this is how it changes, note how similar the tunes sound. Only this one is far more grandiose.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wL3boAkvkA4

Chapter Eleven, Blueblood Bandits: Permission commandeer.

-Maries-

Joining parade right about… now!

From the alleyway, we marched out into the parade started by Jade and were not caught up by the music or the magical effects. Of course we were wearing the parade dragon costume and marching along with everyone else. We were not stupid enough to enter the parade as ourselves, we’d be a major target when the music eventually stopped and we were needed for other things.

Our job was to make sure nothing knocked Jade out of her ability to keep the magical parade going, it was all so… interesting. We had never seen a parade, much less been a part of one and the most we knew is that Jade was mostly safe as long as she kept playing.

The fireworks were quite pretty and we got a chance to see them as Marie peeking out from under the costume to watch them for us. We even saw a glimpse of Fizzle galloping and majestically leaping across the rooftops.

It was amazing for us to be a part of a thing much larger than us like this and have it not be of grave importance to our clan’s survival, we would even say it is… fun.

It was surprising that the marchers just let us into their formation without question, the ones that were the guards were too busy glaring hard at Jade to really notice us. The musicians just kept playing and marching along, there were quite a lot of ponies watching us as we meandered down the street slowly.

We were bestial enough for the magical effects to not bother us in the same way that had all the ponies entrapped by it marching along to the tune. We didn’t exactly know how to feel about that. As Jade’s backup, Maria was watching the killer marching along behind our prospective mate.

Once upon a time we might have thought ourselves killers, but we were more than that now and we could hardly go back. Killers in civilization didn’t eat their kill and only killed for a goal that did not further society as it was, only sometimes was that ever truly the outcome.

We did not believe killing our prospective mate would further society. That kind of killer didn’t follow nature or civilization. Killing as a means for them was different, they were abhorrent and aberrant to us... we used to be almost just like them. At least we didn’t leave the body to rot or waste away, all chimera respected their kills. When we killed, it was to serve the purpose of filling our stomachs as nature intends. No longer needing to do that, we could focus on so many other things.

I, Mara, was keeping us in line with the parade and making sure we kept up and were moving at the same pace with everyone else. We were not following the parade against our will nor were we being forced to march, thankfully nobody has yet noticed the discrepancy of our presence.

Also we got close enough to use the rubber chicken and Marie had done her part in using it, thankfully nobody took notice of it.

-Kuril-

“I hope you two are ready to board The Gilded Buttress! Take the wheel Jacky.” I released the wheel and my parrot daughter grabbed a hold of it. “Fly towards one end of the docks and be prepared to circle around, it’s time to use the illusion dust!”

My kitten was quite happy to hear that I had learned how to make this stuff from our guest Zecora and it was really fun stuff to use too. Completely harmless, but it could create ghostly images in the air and will make just about anyone see things.

What I was doing was preventing anyone from seeing the ship going missing. If I could scare some guards away, then that would be helpful too.

I was a true witch now and happen to be living the dream, I wasn’t about to be bored with magic anytime soon.

I moved over to the big bag at the back of The Ardent Survivor and waited as we circled around. Once turned around and heading towards one edge of the docks, I opened the bag. I sustained this bag myself for the self-sustaining properties of keeping the illusion dust fresh.

Tilting it over the side, the air was now being filled with green dust slowly falling towards the docks and several shapes were already forming.

No, the amount of illusion dust we were currently using was most certainly not overkill. Even if it started creating a hazy green colored fog over all of the docks that would follow my will and scare everyone except us away. I started cackling in an evil manner… maybe it was just a bit over the top.

Once the docks were completely covered I took back the wheel and turned to Jacky and Arizona.

“Okay girls, I’m positioning us above the ship.” It didn’t take us long and I brought the airship to a stop above The Gilded Buttress which still had ponies on it. Some of which were screaming and jumping overboard as several frightening phantasms chased after them. “Jacky, Arizona, you’re on!”

-Jacky-

With my spear and bow equipped, I grabbed the rope and tugged it sharply twice to make sure it didn’t snap when I put any amount of weight on it. I jumped off the side of the ship and began slowly sliding down the rope.

I let go and fell onto the deck behind the shivering pony who stiffened up and slowly turned his head to me.

“Boo.” I wasn’t that scary and I expected him to buck me in the face, instead he screamed like a mare and jumped overboard. That guy was last seen running into the green fog.

The illusion dust must have spooked him fiercely, he looked like a regular crew member and not a royal guard. I pulled my spear out and looked about, I was saving my arrows for when the fog cleared up.

I heard the sound of shredding metal, I turned holding my spear at the ready and then lowered it.

“Yahoo!” Two royal guards were missing their armor and were looking quite scared before they were both sent flying towards the city by Arizona ramming into them with her horns. She may be young, but Arizona had a lot of muscle in her. I don’t think I even knew her or Grace’s story, they just showed up at Airship Mauled one day and needed help. So they took the inn. “Come on Jacky, pick up the pace! I’ll clear out the ship, you work on getting it flying.”

She seemed rather excited about all this, I looked at the deck and dragged the tip of my spear across the wood.

It wasn’t wood… the deck was made of painted over gold too. Talk about hiding riches hidden in plain sight, this expensive piece of heavy junk had better fly.

There were quite a few ponies screaming and running to jump overboard, the illusion dust was doing wonders in cutting down the numbers we had to deal with. It was either that or Arizona was terrifying in how she could rip through their enchanted armor like tissue paper.

I made my way towards the steering on this ship which was a cabin at the back of the ship, it was a indoor piloting. I stopped at the door when I saw it slam open and took cover around the corner, a winged pony flew away from the door and out into the fog.

The look on his face was that of sheer terror. In the distance I could hear the parade still going strong and could see several flashes of light through the eerie fog. I think Fizzle will have lit the last of them soon. We had about ten minutes to commandeer this vessel and get it out of here.

“Cowards the lot of you, it’s just some powerful illusion!” The armored unicorn screamed, he was wearing royal guard armor and he looked like one scrawny unicorn. “There’s no real danger here!”

I quietly swapped my spear out for the bow, I pulled out an arrow from the quiver on my tail and nock it to take aim.

The pony grunted angrily and turned around to go back in.

I let the arrow go and… it didn’t shoot straight or hit the pony in the head.

My blunted arrow instead spun end over end and the tail of it slapped him roughly across the flank making him yelp. I just gave my bow a disappointed look, how in the world does that even keep happening?!

I’ve hit just about everyone in Airship Mauled in the butt like that, my Captain’s response to it was just give me a saucy look as if she’d eat me alive. That memory made me shiver violently.

I ducked around the corner and some magic splashed off the wall and made a shockwave that knocked me down, I also heard him grunt as he was hit by his own shockwave. Didn’t Jade say something about gold being magically reactive? I can understand maybe using gold for the engine in that case, but the whole darn ship was made of painted over gold!

I couldn’t let him cast any more magic, a blast of magic fired through a green illusionary image of myself and he growled. I peeked around the corner, he saw movement and another illusionary copy of me dodged a shot while sticking its out tongue.

Okay, this illusion dust stuff was really nifty!

This guy seemed to be able to react to movement swiftly as he tried to shoot away several more illusions of me, but only as long as he can see it coming or moving within his field of view. That obviously included peripheral.

I heard a scream and looked towards front of the ship to see Arizona slinging an earth pony overboard with her lasso. I couldn’t get distracted… I had to get the balloon filled up and prepared for launch.

“Show yourself!” The stallion apparently didn’t like my illusion dust doubles. I nock another arrow and peeked around the same corner again, he wasn’t that bright. “There you are!”

I pulled my head back and a bolt fly pasts me. Another shockwave rocks the ship when it strikes the deck, this sent Arizona tumbling. How would I get him without him taking another shot at me? Oh idea! He was quick to shoot, but what if he shot at something else?

“I don’t know who you are, but if you think you can take this ship. Then it will be over my...” He jumped around the corner and didn’t see me. “Dead body? You don’t know who you’re messing with, I’m Lieutenant Skeet Shoot and I can hit anything that’s moving!”

I fired an arrow straight up, he aimed his magic towards the sky and hit the arrow. I jumped from the cabin's roof while he was distracted by the arrow and came down smashing my bow over his head with a two-handed swing.

My bow was undamaged, that helmet of his on the other talon had crumpled and was knocked clean off. He staggered around on his hooves, I quickly grabbed his horn and slammed his head roughly into the deck. His eyes rolled up into the back of his head and he fainted with an agonized groan.

Okay that was the cabin secure… and the arrow I fired as a distraction just rammed its way into my tail feathers. Of course it did. I sighed and carefully wrenched it out of my tail feathers and smoothed them out.

“What in the world was with that shockwave Chick?” I looked to the brown and white furred tough cow dully as she bucked two more ponies off the ship.

“That is something that will become a problem if there are any other unicorns still around, toss him off the ship and don’t let any unicorns use magic around here!” I went into the cabin and started hitting a few things, the controls for flight were on and now I had to get this ugly ship out of the docks. I felt dirty just knowing I would be piloting this thing. “I’ll get started on preparing us for flight, finish up and take care of the moorings while you’re at it!”

I soon exited the cabin and got started on inflating the balloon, I had to go check on the engine room next and while I was on my way to go below deck I heard a shout. Turning I saw a lightly armored pegasus mare coming right for me, only she was tackled out of the air by a cloaked figure. Her face was struck harshly with a left hoof, she was knocked out.

“The parade is out of fireworks and has about ten more minutes scheduled, Jade is getting pretty tired out there. We need this massive weight in the air like yesterday Jacky!” Fizzle was gasping and sweating quite a bit, but at least she was speaking clearly and concisely. “The illusion dust isn't going to last that much longer either. I am so tired, it’s like I ran several miles in the last twenty minutes.”

“I’d say about one, with all the firework points you had to hit across the city to attract attention to the parade.” I watched her lay down to catch her breath.

“Oh no, no, no, wait!” A unicorn went flying quite far overboard after having his horn released from Arizona’s teeth. We heard him slap the ground in the fog roughly and he squealed a bit.

“The ship is entirely clear Chick!” It seems Arizona took care of most of our problems. “How are we for flying?”

“The ship is not floating well enough yet. Fizzle, I need to check the engine room, can you steer?” She nodded to me and I turned to Arizona. “Better yet, can you somehow get a message up to Kuril to bring The Ardent Survivor around so we can tie a line to it? We don’t have enough time to wait for the balloon to inflate fully, we’re going to tow it out of here!”

“I can get a message to Kuril...” We turned to Fluttershy who blushed and looked away from us shyly.

“Then do it!” I started below deck and ran for the engine room, I snatched up a box of tools on the way.

-Maries-

I hopped onto the ship with my captive, nobody had noticed us grabbing her out of the parade and they really didn’t notice that the fake dragon left the parade. Once we reached the green fog, we had quickly ditched our costume and scared any pony we met on our way to the ship.

Marie was wrapped around the unconscious killer, keeping her on our back. Jade had signaled for us to snatch her and we did, she was now our captive for the foreseeable future.

“Jade signaled that she can’t make it out!” Maria informed everyone as loudly as she could. “Too many guards are following her.”

“Don’t worry about it Maries, remember Jade already had a plan for this. She just needs her, ‘legal experts’, to help her when she's put on trial.” Fizzle turned to us as she said that. “Until then she’s going to start quite a huge hissy fit to give us some more time!”

Chapter Eleven, Blueblood Bandits: Shining Armor vs. Jade.

-Arizona-

I had a good time and we were starting to pull away from Canterlot, but I had to wonder about the one who planned all this. She was a wily one, what was she up to staying behind like she did? There had to be more to this plan.

“You seem rather calm about your special cat friend being left behind.” The broken horned pony didn’t seem too afraid for someone she clearly loved and it was a tad suspicious, she hardly ever lets the cat out of her sight from what I know upon having met them. “Aren’t you worried the royal or night guard will kill her?”

“The chances of anyone in the Royal Guard, Wonder Bolts or even the Night Guard of killing anyone, much less killing Jade ‘freaking’ La Perm herself, is really quite miniscule.” That was when Fizzle snorted, likely at her own thoughts, then she turned her eyes from looking back to me. “I would be more worried about assassins like the one that Maries caught, she’s the same one that attacked us in the park. Jade will be just fine and I really want to see what Maries can do with that law degree they earned, she is one third snake after all.”

-Prince Blueblood-

Ugh I have a wine stain on my coat. At least it didn’t touch my precious pristine white fur and my lovely blonde hair, both of which have been completely impeccable today. This is the only truly horrific spot on an otherwise perfect day spent in the company of so many elites.

I wonder if I can rent out The Gilded Buttress tomorrow.

-Jade-

I stopped playing, turned around and bowed to the crowd. I had decided to stop playing back where I started the parade at. The guards were about to move towards me when I held up my left palm towards them with my fingers splayed. Taking off my mask, I put both it and the ocarina away with my right hand.

“I thank all of you music players for joining the parade! To those in the marching band, I already sent recommendations out to several companies. You might get jobs soon for your varying great musical talents. As for you the saxophone mare and the others who joined our parade, thank you for accompanying us on our wondrous journey.” It pays to be polite to all the friends I made here today. “I’m sorry for those of you who didn’t sign up for the parade, I can’t send out recommendations for any of you. Though I will say that you are all also very good musicians in your respective fields. By the way, what’s your name mare with the awesome saxophone playing? I’ll try to remember it, promise!”

“I’m Speedy Sax and yes I know how my name sounds, just call me Quick.” The royal guards burst out laughing at the mare’s declaration, she was a cool pegasus pony in my book.

She looked kind of average with the brown mane, but the black fur was an odd color I don’t see too often on ponies and she had bright blue colored eyes. I would remember her fondly.

“Like Quick Sax is any better.” I stated, which caused the laughter to start up again.

“It’s a far sight better than the nickname Prince Blue Balls.” Another round of laughter, this time including most of the guards as well, Speedy bowed to them.

“Alright that’s enough, all of you who are not in the royal guard or are equivalent equestrian military personnel should leave… I’m about to get my ass thoroughly kicked for the forced march I put you all through.” I’m surprised they were even letting me talk and haven’t jumped me yet.

“The parade I got forced into wasn’t all that bad and I had fun, what’s your name so I can remember you too!” My name wasn’t really a secret Sax.

“Jaded La Perm, I prefer Jade. We’re friends now Quick! Now get out of here, go on, shoo.” All the musicians started chatting with each other and then they moved off to the side and sat down. “You’re all going to stay and watch this aren’t you?”

“How often does anyone get to see the guard actually do something around here?” Quick asked loudly, a lot of chuckling rippled throughout the many musician ponies. The guard ponies grumbled loudly.

“Good point. If all of you are going to stick around, can I at least get some people who know how to riff a guitar and play the drums involved in this? Here Sax, hold my flag.” Handing Sax my flag, I was going to plead with the crowd of musicians. “I’m going to do something very anime and try to fight all these wonderful guards by myself. So please stay out of it if you aren’t going to be playing music to this, do not involve yourself in my fight. This may seem horribly lopsided against me, but I’m pretty tough as you will soon find out and I will absolutely get away with everything I’ve pulled off this evening even if they do catch me. Do not ruin your lives on my account by trying to help, just let me go down with awesome music!”

Several guitar wielding ponies and some drum users all moved to set up, while the other musician ponies cheered.

“Oh you are so not getting away with this.” Shining stated quite clearly.

“We’ll see about that, music!” The cymbals were hit twice and then it began, my fight to see how many guards I can down. I immediately started sustaining my knife, I wasn’t about to use it on ponies.

I was going full brawler for this one.

-Shining Armor vs. Jade La Perm-

Three armored earth ponies charged forward and Jade charged them back. The first pony tried to tackle Jade and she jumped straight up and stomped down on him at an angle that sent him skidding across the ground with her on top.

Jade ducked the second pony while body surfing the first one, she reached out and grappled the third lunging armored earth pony and managed bring them into the path of several blast from the various unicorns.

Kicking the ground, Jade spun the sparking armored pony she was riding and used the spin to throw the third thoroughly stunned pony into the crowd of militant ponies. The cat leapt back and kicked the now stopped pony she had been body surfing at Shining Armor.

Shining lit his horn and the earth pony smashed into the barrier before flopping to the ground unconscious. Shining grit his teeth and fired several bolts from his horn at the cat.

Jade dodged to the left and right while continuing to charge only to be cut off by a thestral trying to sideswipe her. Grabbing the outstretched wing of the thestral, Jade spun around with the mare’s momentum and then sent the thestral flying straight into Spitfire’s surprised face, it knocked the Wonder Bolt out of the air.

The other unicorns got scared looks on their faces as Jade thumbed her nose and held up her fists bouncing back and forth on her feet, she then started forward.

Shining fired started firing shots at Jade, as she continued to weave through the crowd of spell fire. One clipped Jade’s shoulder and another struck her in the thigh, she slowed with each hit and winced slightly.

The cat kicked a unicorn up into the air like a hacky sack, spun and kicked them into the path of several stun spells and a thestral pony trying to charge forward.

Shining leapt forward and fired several blast from closer range, Jade dropped under them into a back spin and kicking out several times making Shining back away.

The other unicorns were more wary of attacking, because they might hit their own people.

A pegasus and earth pony guards weren’t so lucky to approach Jade as spun on her back and knocked them down by kicking their hooves out from under them. Their head hit the ground and they were out of the fight with mild concussions.

When Jade stopped spinning, Shining tried to jump forward and stomp down on her.

Jade rolled and from her supine position, she did a kip-up that ended up putting both her feet into a unicorn guard’s face.

Jade kicked off the guards face into a backflip, leaving him getting tackled by a surprised thestral mare who knocked herself out slamming into the poor unicorn.

Shining tried to ram the cat and she twirled out the way and leapt backwards over an earth pony diving for her back.

Jade went to all fours and growled loudly, quite a few guards backed away from her and she pounced on the earth pony to cover his eyes making him panic.

His friends tried to come to his aid and get the crazy cat off his back. The earth pony guard was strong enough to carry Jade’s weight and was wildly bucking around, he accidentally sent a pegasus mare flying when he connected a buck with her helmet.

Jade took her right hand off his eyes and rammed her fist into the guard’s throat making him gasp and stagger. She rolled backwards holding onto the earth pony guard and got into a standing position with him held above her head.

Jade heaved and sent him flying into several other unicorn, earth and pegasus ponies, thus scattering them all about.

“We need a plan!” As Shining said this, he avoided the thrown body and fired several bolts of energy at the cat who dodged them. He recognized that they weren’t very well organized, they were all trying to find a moment of opportunity only to keep getting in each other’s way.

“We’re beyond plans now!” Spitfire tried to ram Jade and flapped backwards to avoid the incoming left kick, but didn’t dodge the following straight right to the face knocking her to the ground again.

Shining watched as Jade dodged several pegasus pony swoops and earth pony tackle attempts, she was evading almost everything they were throwing at her.

Almost being the key word, Jade just took another hit to the right arm and she had to kick a pegasus off her left leg. She was taking hits, but not nearly enough to be debilitating.

Shining recognized that this Jade was actually pretty scary cat to fight when she wasn’t running from them, the other guards were quickly losing their morale.

Shining leaned back from the sliding kick Jade launched at him and he dragged the tip of his horn across her right thigh causing her to hiss and stumble back. She barely dodged the thestral shrieking at her from directly above.

Jade grabbed the armored thestral's rear legs and pulled her upwards out of her controlled drop to slam her belly first against the ground. Shining had dodged being smacked by the night guard and fired his horn at her.

The cat then held the thestral up to take several shots from the unicorns that were still standing, she threw stunned thestral bodily at two unicorns taking them down.

Spitfire darted in and tried to punch the cat who blocked and tried to hit Spitfire with a left hook, but she flapped backwards out of the way. Spitfire then threw a rough right hoof upper cut that Jade took to the chin making her stumble.

Shining fired a shot and Jade fell into a backwards somersault where she stopped in a crouch, then jumped forward and hit Shining across the left eye with a right hook.

Shining tried to fire a spell of point blank and managed to connect with Jade’s left shoulder making her yowl and back up quite fast.

Spitfire tried to buck Jade in the back, only she missed.

Jade rolled to the right and swept the legs at from under a nearby unicorn guard, she grabbed his horn as he fell and swung him around. Jade released the unicorn to smack Spitfire out of the air.

The thrown unicorn fired off a blast that missed Jade and accidentally struck a pegasus guard, the unicorn landed roughly on their side breathing heavily.

“You know if I could shoot magical energy like that at you by casting the air, I would!” Jade thrust her left hand out and actually tried to cast the air.

Imagine Jade’s and everyone else’s surprise when a tennis ball sized oval shaped blast of energy erupted from the cat’s hand. It knocked Spitfire from the air after having just gotten back off the ground.

Jade looked a bit drained after firing that blast and moved a bit sluggishly, she took a hit and was sent flying by an Earth Pony bucking her in the stomach.

All the remaining ponies that were still standing froze, they all saw a slow smile build up on Jade’s face.

“That really hurt, but I just learned how to do a magic missile!” A giggling Jade braced her left forearm with her right hand and she fired an oval into the earth pony knocking her down with a whimper. “So all is forgiven.”

There were only a few uninjured ponies still standing, all the other ponies were taking the time to recover from their injuries.

Spitfire was up and flying again only her right wing to be hit by sphere of energy fire from Jade that knocked her to the ground where she gasped in pain. She glared at Jade in defiance, but she wasn’t getting up.

“I think I really dislike you Jade!” Commented Spitfire out loud.

“Sorry for making you feel this way hot stuff!” It even sounded like Jade truly meant that.

Shining and three other unicorn ponies started to combine their fire. Jade started to strafe around them and fire back, with each shot she started to stumble and slow down.

Aside from the four unicorns, there were a few cowering earth and pegasus ponies taking refuge in the completely undisturbed audience of musician ponies.

Jade's shots still hit their marks and it left Shining standing, she went down to one knee and fired a single blast of magic at Shining who just blocked it with a barrier. He then entrapped Jade in a barrier preventing her from doing anything else.

-Shining-

“Well you were a lot of trouble to take down.” Okay that should not have been nearly that hard, were ponies really that weak? I needed to work out more. “Anything to say for yourself?”

“Mission accomplished.” How did Jade accomplish her mission? I was missing something.

“What are you talking about?” The cat trapped in my barrier smiled weakly at me. “You never came close to telling Cadence about how I think she’s a lousy O and O player!”

The cat lifted her right claw and pointed at me. No, she was pointing at something behind me… I turned around and came face to face with an angry Cadence.

“Oh really, anything else I should know Shiny?” Oh Cadence, what a surprise… you heard all that didn’t you? “Why are there so many hurt guards lying around here?”

“I hurt them, but they should fine.” You were a very surprising cat Jade, I didn’t think you’d admit it so cleanly. “They are all just a bit bruised. I'm a battered, tired and very sleepy kitty. So if you’ll take my stuff, stuff me in a jail cell and excuse me… I need a cat nap.”

Author's Notes:

Jade got away with her nefarious plans... or has she?

Maybe her plans aren't done yet. The rubber chicken's use has yet to be mentioned and there are documents that have yet to be used... was the briefcase ever really important?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GRcrbWto1w

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(New Alchemy Ingredient!)

24. Air (It's a thing).

Chapter Twelve, Courtroom Chimera: Objection princess.

-Ten hours later, Canterlot Castle Dungeon, Jade-

I yawned, opened my eyes and found myself in a cell, I just stayed where I was. Unless the cell door was special in how it was magically protected, I could escape at any time. I won’t do that, I was in fact going to stay in place.

“I’m awake, so who’s going to interrogate me?” Idle curiosity on my part, but spoken loudly enough to attract attention to me being awake.

If I ever had to fight him again, I would have to find a way neutralize Shining Armor’s barriers. He could render me helpless by slowing me down and then eventually trapping me. I barely managed a hit on him, though I had been pretty tired and tossing ponies around isn’t very easy.

Shining Armor was kind of powerful just using barriers alone and his only weakness was his magical stamina, which if I remember correctly is completely absurd beyond belief. Without magic, Shining Armor would be pretty much vulnerable to anything.

Learning how to use magic missiles last night was one the most amazing moments in my life, unfortunately I learned the downside to casting air a little too late. It is quite draining, every shot I fired felt like the world turned to molasses for me and that wasn’t because I was moving slower. It was because I lost quite a bit of energy firing them and I was already tired as it was, even if I had been pacing myself during the parade.

I couldn’t increase the power or alter it, it was a very cut and dry cast given it would do the same thing every single time. The only way I could think to change that is to find a magical alchemy sustain that can alter the magic missiles properties. I was still weaker than a unicorn pony in terms of versatility, and they can do beam fights.

I heard the door opening and in walked an upset Celestia, she closed the door behind her.

“Were you involved in the missing airship?” These were the first words out of Celestia’s mouth to me.

“Yes, did it happen to belong to Prince Blueblood?” I brightened up and asked.

“No, the ship belongs to someone else.” Why do you look so disappointed with me, you’ll be thanking me for this later.

“Well that’s a pity. If it was Blueblood’s ship, then that would have been just perfect once you figure out why I wanted to steal it.” At my words her disappointed look shifted to a curious one. “Remember when I asked about evidence, we got the evidence. It’s just a little bit… big.”

“Why did you want to steal it?” She was now more curious and less disappointed in me.

“Go to Airship Mauled and talk to my lawyer, I assume you’ll be my judge for the trial?” Now I got a confused look.

“Trial? I came here to ascertain why a sun priest would take down twenty percent of the royal guard currently stationed here in Canterlot.” The condescending look she received from me was warranted.

“Talk to my lawyer, she’ll lay it all out for you. The theft of the airship, the impromptu parade and the thing with the rubber chicken.” Let’s just say if I’m correct, the rubber chicken will be very interesting when it comes up. “In any case the royal guard attacked me first and I was just defending myself… quite vigorously at that."

“I heard about the parade and the theft of the airship, but what rubber chicken are you talking?” Well Celestia the thing about the rubber chicken is why I was currently grinning like a loon. Nobody saw it? Oh my goodness! I started laughing into my hands. “What’s so funny?”

“Again just go to Airship Mauled and talk to my lawyer, I’m sure everyone will explain the rubber chicken thing to you if you ask. It’s why I’m laughing.” Oh it worked, it so totally worked! I didn’t think we’d get away with the rubber chicken thing and it was kind of a shot in the dark, but now I know that it was going to cause some interesting things to happen. To legally use of a rubber chicken like that, it was going to be fun to find out when the it was discovered. That is, if it was ever discovered. “Let me assure you Celestia, you will want to be the judge for my trial.”

“I could just pardon you right now if your reason for stealing the airship was good enough…” Looking at Celestia I sat up in a panic.

“No, don’t do that!” That would ruin all that work I had Maries do to get ready for this possibility, besides I wanted to see if my chimera could court a room. Did I just seriously think of them as mine? Oh great, Fizzle is not the only one with chimera affection syndrome. “I absolutely need to be put to trial for my actions!”

“Okay, whatever you say, but your trial will take a week to set up and until then you’ll be stuck here. Since I have some free time right now, I’ll go to Airship Mauled and find out what this is all about.” Celestia stepped outside the cell, went down the hall and said some words to the guards and then teleported away.

Oh thank goodness, I will get to see how well a chimera would handle courtroom politics. Lawyers are supposed to be predatory, so we took it to the next logical conclusion by making a predator a lawyer.

The clacking of horseshoes against the floor came down the hallway.

“She’s in here, are you sure you want to be left alone with her?” That was nondescript Guard A, the unsung hero of the dungeon.

“Yes, I don’t think she’s dangerous. A bit weird, but not dangerous.” The door opened and in walked Cadence, balancing something on her back. She was giving me an odd look as she shut the door behind her. “Hello, Jade… was all that talk about your mare friend a lie just to get to know me?”

“Nope, I really do have a mare friend and she’s a beautiful mare." Looking at me for a second. Cadence lit her horn and blinked twice, before narrowing her eyes. "Quite strong too, I’m sure you’ll meet her eventually.”

“Well you aren’t faking the love." Again it seems I have attracted the attention of a princess. "Why did you make Shining chase and attack you?”

“I needed to stall the royal guards so that a particularly dangerous airship could be stolen, we thought it might belong to Prince Blueblood.” Sighing I leaned back and looked to the stony ceiling. “I wished it did, at least I know whoever it belongs to is going to get one really big surprise in the way of an angry alicorn.”

“Why?” That’s a question that is often asked, that causes more question and leads to a joke loop where all one person has to say is that word. For you Cadence, I’ll condense it down to an easy to understand manner for you.

“Imagine if someone made a solid gold toilet, now imagine the maintenance of said toilet taking up half of the taxes ponies pay every year when it would be cheaper to use better lower maintenance materials for a toilet.” The Gilded Buttress was said flying gold toilet, I knew it was wasting money. I just couldn’t do the math to tell you how much, but knowing gold like I do… it was a lot. “I just told your adoptive aunt about this toilet flushing down millions of bits into itself and the embezzlement someone has going on involving it. I just pointed her at a noble who’s going to be quite screwed when Celestia gets a hold of whoever they are.”

“… do you know how to play Ogre’s and Oubliettes?” Cadence took the thing off her back and revealed it to be O and O.

“Does charming Skellinore into being my characters best friend mean anything to you?” I’d be friends with a skeleton, as long as they ate spaghetti and had a cute personality. Cadence shook her head no at my question. “Yes, I do know how to play O and O, I just can’t do the math accurately. What kind of character do you use? I base mine on me, a proud and noble rogue. Did you know the game can have real life applications?”

“How can it have real life applications, it’s just a game isn’t it?” Oh you’d think so Cadence, but I and mom got living the game down to an art form. “Also my character is priest.”

Oh the irony.

“Yeah, priest sounds like it fits you. As for real life applications, the game can teach you math and how to think outside the box just to name the two most notable examples.” I started setting up for a game with my visitor. “So despite hitting your stallion friend in the face, are we still friends?”

“Oh me and Shining, we’re not… um… maybe I am a little upset with you.” Cadence quickly changed her tune when I quirked an eye at her. “He’s really quite handsome and sweet, but our dates are less romantic than I want them to be. Also, yes, we are still friends Jade.”

“As long as you love spending time with him, does it really matter if he’s not into classy things? My special some pony doesn’t mind how we spend our time together, just as long as we are near one another.” I picked up the rogue figurine and smiled at Cadence, who smiled back at me and picked up a priest figurine. “Let’s talk about our romantic interests while we play, I’ll try to see what you’re doing wrong and why Shining might not like how you play.”

“Sounds fun.” With that Cadence settled on the dingy floor of the cell with me. “The décor kind of matches the game we’re about to play.”

-Fizzle-

“It’s official, Jade’s captured and I didn’t sleep well last night because of it.” I looked into the mirror this morning to see that my eyes were slightly bloodshot. I was okay with Jade being jailed, but what I wasn’t okay with was that she wasn’t here cuddling me. She made sleeping so much easier and I’ve become addicted nuzzling her when we slept together. We were like sisters, truthfully we knew that we were far closer than that.

“You kind of look like a mess Fizzle, has Captain become that important to you?” Of course she has Jacky! I can’t rest knowing my dumb cat might be danger, also I now know for certain that I’m attracted to mares and or any female equivalent in other species. I slumped at the table. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Excuse me, but can anyone tell me why there’s a stolen airship crashed here?” Celestia came into The Witch’s Fare and saw us seated at the table. Sekhet was the one to respond.

“We can tell you, or you can take a closer look at what’s wrong with the ship yourself. Scratch the paint off with some magic.” No we didn’t crash land into Sekhet, but it was a close thing and we had spooked the goddess with the crater we left in the ground with the now mauled airship. “I think you will be quite surprised Sunburn.”

Ten thousand tons of gold left quite an impression, one large enough to create a swimming pond once Celestia took care of moving the gold out of here. Good thing we were all on the Ardent Survivor before The Gilded Buttress crashed.

“I’ll do that Quizzer, also who here is Jade’s lawyer?” You were about to be shocked Celestia, because even I was a little unnerved by how quickly Maries managed to earn her law degree.

Surprisingly our school counted as a university well enough that our favorite chimera could take her bar exam and get a license to be a lawyer in equestria thanks to various loopholes. There were no laws against a chimera taking a bar exam, much less against her being a licensed lawyer thanks to the fact that she was certainly born on equestrian soil.

“We are.” Maries spoke and smiled as they turned to Celestia.

Celestia just gave them a dumbfounded look.

“You’re her lawyer?!” Well don’t looked so surprised, Cheerilee was also shocked when she found out that it was possible for Maries to earn her law degree less than two days ago.

They have three heads worth of knowledge retention going on, Maries was quite gifted in that department. I was kind of surprised chimeras weren’t more profound, smarter or civilized with that kind of ability and were still somewhat tribal.

Cheerilee was now quite proud to have a student like Maries.

-Celestia-

After checking to make sure Maries was telling me the truth, that she did in fact have a license to be a lawyer in Equestria, I was a little stunned how easy it was for them to become esquires. Then I walked up to the crashed ship and sighed, they had five other crashed ships around here doing nothing.

I guess they were trying to figure out what to do with them all, but I knew what I was going to do when I got back to Canterlot. I was going to make Airship Mauled a warning zone for airships.

I walk up to The Gilded Buttress and saw something unusual immediately. The crashed ships crack and chipped paint had flecks of gold underneath, I stripped some of the paint away.

I can now see why Jade wanted to ask me about writing down a list of how to present evidence, this was evidence enough. The ship was made of gold, but just to be sure it wasn’t gold plated I lit my horn and scanned the entire vessel. It was almost made entirely of gold!

I’m quite sorry that I thought ill of a sun priest, because she has shined a light on this illicitly built airship. One that, if it were to crash in a populated area, it would have killed a lot of my little ponies. Jade has done me a favor by removing it from the city… I owe her a debt of gratitude.

I’ll be the judge for her trial and we’ll see what kind of shenanigans she gets up to, Twilight could learn a thing or two about thinking outside of her books every once in a while. Twilight has ponies that want to be her friends and they are practically throwing themselves at her, yet she ignores them on a day to day basis. They are ponies that don’t even care that she’s my star pupil, which is quite literal with that star on her flank.

My dear Twilight was becoming a horrible shut in and I was having problems with getting her nose out of those books. At least she wasn’t power hungry like my previous perturbed pernicious powerful personal pony pupil... I’m still good at alliteration it seems.

After all the failures and successes that life has dropped on me these last thousand years, it was only a few more years now… it was time to ask myself again. Would I be willing to hurt her? No, I still don’t think I can actually harm my sister Luna with my own hooves or magic.

Author's Notes:

Sekhet's Airship Mauled Counter (Including the now mentioned off screen hits): *ding* 8.5.

(One ship fell over and crushed her halfway after she just got out from under it.)

Continuing on, Maries is a lawyer, because that's certainly normal and not at all a frightening prospect that'll send ponies into a panic.

Chapter Twelve, Courtroom Chimera: Objection attorney.

-A week later, Canterlot Dungeon, Maries-

“So how is Fizzle doing without me Maries?” Jade was quite worried, as she is our prospective mate we should answer her swiftly.

“She is not sleeping well without you to warm her bed.” It was sad for us to watch, but Fizzle was really quite upset without her snuggles. The matriarch is at least supplementing things by snuggling her often. “We believe she is fine otherwise and misses you.”

“Remind me to make it up to her after we’re done here. Though I should probably wean her off getting too clingy.” Do not worry Jade, we will assuredly remind you. “So, are you ready to turn the world on its head?”

“We are most certainly ready, we will let Maria do the talking unless one of us has something to say. We will be putting our best paw forward with our more herbivorous head.” Mara spoke for us, then Marie spoke up next. “I will be remembering any small details of the trial and will remind Maria or Mara if they miss anything.”

“I don’t think we’ll have any trouble Jade.” As the speaker for our group, I, Maria, would have to worry about what I say. I’m the cautious one so that won’t be a problem. “We have all the knowledge we need to handle this case.”

-Breakfast and two hours later, Courtroom, Jade-

“Quick question Celestia, do you have a spell that makes someone tell the truth?” I sat down in the defendant’s seat, my lawyer would be coming in soon and boy would that cause some interesting reactions.

I noticed a problem with the jury almost immediately when I looked around, there were plenty of royal guards out of armor in the crowd. I could already see them as being a bit biased here.

“Yes, the ‘Circle of the Concise’ spell. It creates a grey circle, anyone that sits in the circle has to tell the truth as the circle turns green when you do. It turns red when you lie.” That sounded useful for the court justice system, it sounded quite prominently useful to me. “Do you wish to use such option?”

“Yes, but what does it do when a liar paradox or a logic bomb occurs?” That was the part that could rub my fur the wrong way and I wanted to hear what Celestia had to say about it.

“What’s a liar paradox or a logic bomb?” Celestia titled her head as if she doesn’t understand the question I was asking.

“I’ll explain it by making a statement that will sound odd, my example is this.” I wanted to give her at least one that she could understand. “Everything I say is a lie.”

“If that were true then wouldn’t you be telling the truth about saying everything is a….” Celestia’s eyes crossed once it occurred to her how what I just said actually works.

If everything I say is a lie then how can ever tell the truth about lying all the time?

“How about an easier one.” She nodded to me and I cleared my throat. “This statement is false.”

“I think I get the idea Jade. Just for the sake of clarity, do you have any more?” Oh the princess was interested in it now, I’ll give her a more interesting one.

“Well it’s a bit rough, but… a crocodile steals a foal and promises its return to the parents if they can correctly guess exactly what the crocodile will do.” My guess is, it will take a few seconds for Celestia to comprehend how this one is paradoxical. “How does it respond if you guess that the foal will not be returned?”

“If the crocodile keeps the foal then that would be verifying the answer, but giving the foal back would cause the answer to become false and thus it can’t return the foal. The crocodile would be stuck and incapable of doing anything.” Thinking on it for a while, Celestia groaned while rubbing her head with her hooves shifting her glorious long flowing mane a bit. “I’d wait for the crocodile to give the foal back, then I would make a run for it before it can say that the answer became false by giving back the child. Though the paradox still exists, at least the foal will be alright and it’s cutting the middle mare out of the equation.”

“That or cutting the Minotaur lands most famous knot. If it actually happened in the real world, then that would probably be the most prudent course of action. Provided that the crocodile has some honor… this is a creature that kidnapped a foal after all.” Both I and Celestia shuddered at the other implication. “Sorry for the mental image.”

“It’s okay, I did ask. Knowing what I do now, I have no idea how the ‘Circle of the Concise’ spell would work in that situation.” Well that’s an interesting tidbit, I also gave Celestia a headache. Go me! “I will give you a fair and just trial, have no doubt in my words. Even if the jury is suspiciously made of those who are biased against you.”

“Can’t I have most of the jury thrown out on the issues of ‘challenge for cause’?” I asked looking at all the ponies in the crowd.

“You could, but then you wouldn’t get the real equestrian trial that you wanted, we’d have to throw most of the jury out in that case. In any event, if they show bias because of what you are, then I will do my best to support you and remind my little ponies that they’d be in contempt of court. I unfortunately will have to remain neutral to you once we get started.” A thought occurred to me after Celestia said those words, I smiled brightly at her. “Did you think of something?”

“Let’s keep the jury just as they are… they’ll be siding with me by the end of this.” I happily stated. “I’ll just have to run it by my lawyer though.”

“Yes, your lawyer, I believe their entrance will cause quite the commotion.” Celestia nodded and turned to trot up to the judge’s podium and sat down. In came the plaintiff and the prosecutor.

Shining Armor and some guy named Pace Set, a unicorn with a short grey mane and burgundy fur. As far as prosecutors go, he wasn’t intimidating even if he was currently trying to be as he sent an icy stare my way. I just gave this Pace Set guy a lazy wave.

“Your honor and royal highness, where is the defendants attorney?” Like you actually care Mr. Set.

“I believe they will be here in a short amount of time.” The words Celestia spoke led to some confusion among the plaintiff Shining and the Prosecutor Pace. She turned to the royal guard in the courtroom. “Bailiff could you look outside and see if they are here?”

“She has more than one lawyer willing to work with her?” Asking this, Shining Armor glanced at me askance.

“No, it’s just the one, but they are certainly unique.” Here Celestia smiled impishly, that smile grew even worse when the bailiff quickly stumbled back into the courtroom looking pale and made his way up to her.

I’m guessing that the bailiff met my lawyer. Oh Maries, please tell me they’re going to cause a ruckus. Something that I can smile and laugh about later.

-Celestia-

The bailiff looks so pale, it’s like he’s never seen a friendly chimera before. Then again I’ve only ever seen the one friendly chimera and she’s quite intelligent. It goes to show that the mostly carnivorous monsters can be our friends too… under the right circumstances.

“Celestia… we have a problem, there’s a chimera out there and I think it might have eaten the defendants attorney.” This poor little pony, he was trying to warn me about something I already knew. I was trying to keep a straight face and it would be a while before the real trial started, it would be fun to nail the noble who owned The Gilded Buttress when he came in to file his formal complaint.

“Don’t worry bailiff I will handle things, when it comes into the room.” I assured him calmly, the Bloody Maries would be handling themselves quite well.

“Wouldn’t it be better to go out there and deal with it princess?” The shaking guard said.

“No, in this case I think it’s best to see for yourself why I want them to come in here.” Again I remained calm and Jade looked as equally calm, but she was smirking and looking towards the door.

I’ll have to deal with the panic of this won’t I? Still it wasn’t a bad idea for a prank, all things considered. I knew nobody would be hurt and the attorney would be on their best behaviors after this one small thing.

-Jade-

The doors to the courtroom burst open and then Mara roared.

All the ponies, immediately faced with the threat of a chimera, suddenly started running about and slamming into each other and screaming like chickens with their heads cut off.

Mara just smiled and Maries walked silently to the defendants table and took her seat next to me. Maria put the briefcase down and they opened it with their paws to start getting their documents organized.

Celestia did nothing aside from smile, Shining was staring at her as if she were a lunatic for doing absolutely nothing to stop the monster from taking a seat next to me. Shining had put a barrier around himself and it didn’t seem like he wanted to drop it anytime soon.

The ponies eventually calmed down and out of curiosity they all looked towards the chimera calmly organizing the stuff on our table. Maries were whispering small details to themselves out loud, they didn’t need to do that as they had a connected mental network. The reason they did this is to calm down all the ponies, by acting as if their presence was completely normal.

Nothing like a little refuge in audacity to get the blood flowing, I’m so glad I made Shining Armor start that Bavarian Fire Drill when giving chase to me.

“Egad, are you serious!” Pace was the first to realize the truth of why I had a chimera sitting next to me. “Is that the cat’s attorney!”

“Yes.” Celestia solemnly intoned.

“Your honor, I object to having that beast here in the courtroom!” While Pace was saying this, Shining eventually dropped the barrier and gave me a befuddled look.

I simply waved jauntily to Shining Armor and leaned against Marie’s side. Bizarrely enough, the ponies actually went back to their seats while giving my attorney plenty of wary glances.

“You honor, we object to having an asshole here in the courtroom!” Maria riposted before turning to a mule sitting among the jury. “No offense meant to the mule in the jury of course.”

“None taken beautiful.” The grey buck toothed donkey stated happily while winking.

“We’re already trying to see someone.” Responded Maria blandly.

“Both objections are noted and overruled.” Though Celestia did smile in Maries’s direction a bit.

“That beast can’t possibly be an attorney!” That’s not what the attorney badge she’s wearing on her sash says to me Pace. “I wish to test the veracity of her being an attorney before we begin!”

“You may state what part of her credentials you wish to test Mr. Pace, we will then start the trial of Jaded La Perm vs. Canterlot.” Oh this should be good, given Celestia already knew it was quite legal.

Despite Maries never having taken a case, by equestrian law itself she was a fully capable of being here and has passed her bar exam. One did not expect a hyper smart chimera, they were that smart when they all focused on doing one thing together with teamwork.

“First, I want to point out that this beast is not even an equestrian citizen.” Well aren’t you a boring stallion, but you’d be wrong by the definition of what an equestrian citizen entails.

I had dual citizenship with Equestria and Abyssia, he’d probably try to say I’m not a citizen either. Good luck with that. The jury seemed to agree with Pace a bit, given they didn’t understand how being like Maries could be an attorney in their lands.

“We have a question for you Mr. Set, is all the soil between Appleoosa and Canterlot considered to be within equestria’s territory?” Oh Maria looked to be having a lot of fun with this as she and Mara calmly stared at him.

“Yes, it is.” Now Mr. Set was curious as to where Maries was going with this, but I already knew he’d be upset. He was a tad racist, but that was understandable given the history of the chimeras wasn’t anything close to being sunshine and rainbows. “Why do you ask beast?”

“Then we are an equestrian citizen, by your very own words Mr. Set. The very fact that chimera’s have been settled here since the three pony tribes came and started claiming land. Which includes the territory my clans live in and concerning the fact that we have not disputed this land taking and you have not disturbed our living arrangements. Chimera, by living wherever they do within pony claimed territories, own and have rights to said land as equestrian citizens.” We were going by their own laws here, so really I was thinking this was a cute move pulled by Maries. “All the ponies who were killed on our land as equestrian citizens were trespassing, but know this… we’ve never killed a pony ourselves and we will be willing to sit in the ‘Circle of the Concise’ to prove that matter. My father and mother were both born within equestrian territory by your laws, as such I can claim citizenship for every chimera clan right here and now.”

“What…” Aw, it’s so cute that Pace Set was so flabbergasted that he couldn’t respond.

“They are correct, by our laws they have prior claim and nobody has disputed it for years after they didn’t dispute our claiming of the surrounding lands including the territories they live in. They are intelligent enough to argue the point. So therefore, I declare that the territories belonging to my citizens, the chimeras, are in fact theirs.” With that Celestia banged the gavel. “However, I don’t recommend intruding upon their lands, they are within their rights to govern themselves in a violent manner. We, as ponies, do not offer chimeras any goods and services, they do not need to pay us any taxes. I do not wish to start a war with beings that have many varying dangerous abilities.”

“You can’t be serious!” Pace quickly clammed up when Celestia sent him a glare, he sighed. “Fine, it is within our own laws that this happened. I can accept that. Is the chimera at least licensed to act as an attorney and can I get a record of her…”

I was chuckling as we already had the prosecutor on the back hoof and we haven’t even begun to fight.

“Excuse us, but use a plural when in reference to us please, we are always more than one.” Stated Maria.

“As I was saying, I wish to check the records of ‘their’ bar exam and license to be here as an attorney.” He was quite upset when he saw the prepared and notarized documentation.

Author's Notes:

Next on "Ace Attorney: The Capable Chimera."

The whole song and dance as we going into our opening statements!

Joy...

Chapter Twelve, Courtroom Chimera: Objection statements.

Author's Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=As6NRNCeMRI

If you can't tell already, this will get pretty silly, but how will Jade avoid all the charges brought against her?

In the opening statements!

Let the trial truly begin.

-Kuril-

“Does the little bat want the fruit… does she? Who’s a good little girl?” You’d think I care more that the thestral tried to actively assassinate my kitten or that she was glaring at me. Nope she just took the offered peach into her mouth with a voracious bite. “Wow, you’re a hungry one aren’t you?”

It was sad that the thestral couldn’t talk, but she liked her fruit and I was making sure to not give her a way to escape. I reached up and rubbed at one of her damaged, but still fluffy ears. She gave off a squeak of defiance and then calmed down immediately once I started petting her shaved head. She even leaned into it.

“I wonder how Jade’s trial is going.” Don’t worry so much about it Fizzle, we’re the ones with an assassin thoroughly tied to a chair here and she was sort of cute. In her own given volatile way.

If we could keep the thestral here long enough, then maybe we could get her to grow her hair out. I don’t mind the shaved look she had going on, but she looked kind of sad with a tail and mane shorn so short. I ran my fingers gently over her other ear. She growled, but didn’t snap at me as I was already putting another fruit up to her mouth.

Why couldn’t this thestral talk? What was wrong with her? I knew she was an assassin, but why? What had happened to you? Ponies should be sweet, innocent and full of love, Fizzle was because we helped her find the ability to be adorable again. That and Fizzle absolutely loves my crazy kitten.

I wanted to make you happy too.

-Celestia-

I banged the gavel.

“That’s quite enough Mr. Set, do you wish to be held in contempt of court?” There was only so much I could take and he was really beginning to push things. “Bloody Maries esquire or Mara esquire, Maria esquire and Marie esquire are rightfully attorneys and recognized by the court. They have shown their full documentation and it has been legally notarized.”

“I have to accept that then, I guess.” He was a fine prosecutor, but Pace was pursuing the wrong thing for the last ten minutes. For all intents and purposes, Maries were Jade’s lawyers and he couldn’t have them thrown out on the principle of what they were.

“Moving on, if you will cease holding up the trial Mr. Set, I would like to get to our opening statements.” I slammed the gavel again. “Please, let’s get this trial started.”

“Of course your highness and honor.” Pace Set, took a few documents and looked at them, he stood up and started to move around the floor while looking thoughtful. “I am here today to prove that without a single doubt that Jaded La Perm is guilty of these crimes I will now list off. She is accused of such... disturbing the peace, using fireworks illegally, fighting with lethal intent, forming an illegal parade, provoking the royal guard to assault, mind controlling the royal guard with magic, resisting arrest, destroying a cabbage stand alongside other various other forms of collateral damage to various places in Canterlot, taking party to the theft of an airship used frequently by nobles called The Gilded Buttress and being party to a larger conspiracy to commit grand theft. Those are the crimes I will be bringing against Jaded La Perm, now how does the defendant plead?”

Only most of that was true, I would be awaiting on the one who owned The Gilded Buttress to move into Jade’s trap. We’d have to work our way to the theft of said airship and the conspiracy to commit grand theft. I hoped that Jade and Maries knew what they were doing, they seemed quite prepared for the trial or looked like they did.

I decided that now was a time to bring up that the defendant wanted the ‘Circle of the Concise’ spell to be used as Pace Set sat down. Maries stood up and prepared to take to the floor.

“In effort to find the truth of these matters, Jaded La Perm has agreed to take the use of the ‘Circle of the Concise’ spell in this trial.” It seemed like I would be seeing exactly why Jade had nothing to hide soon enough, but I still had to give Maries her opening statement and Pace Set looked exceptionally smug today. Mostly Pace thinks Jade has doomed herself by taking a circle that will reveal the truth of her words, but hearing about the liar’s paradox… I’m not quite so sure that the ‘Circle of the Concise’ was made to deal with someone clever like Jade. The prosecutor had to make all the things stick and if Jade and Maries can talk their way around them... hmm… this would be quite an interesting case. “The defendant’s attorney will now give their opening statements.”

“While I cannot deny that some of my client’s actions are a bit… juvenile. I believe her to be not guilty on most of those charges and will prove as such to those of the court.” Saying the word ‘Juvenile’ was Maria’s way of pointing out that Jade was still a minor, which thankfully means that she can’t get the worst of anything the court systems could do to her even if Maries fails. The goat head continued on. “Furthermore, we would like to withhold stating what things she is not guilty to, as we will handle the accusations as they are brought up one at a time. I will show that no one can doubt that my client is absolutely innocent of any true wrong doing.”

“Are you sure that you wish to withhold statements of which accusations you think she’s not guilty to?” I had to ask this of Maries, it would make Jade look pretty bad in the eyes of the courtroom if they fail to successfully defend their client’s actions.

“As her lawyer we will try to make sure that all the statements she’s accused of being guilty to are completely dropped by the end of this trial.” Watching as the front two head's smile in a predatory manner while Jade conversed with the snake head about something in whispers, I knew Jade was telling Maries about how she was going to get everyone in the courtroom on her side.

An evil smile crossed the snakes face before she dropped it when their body went to sit down. Jade’s lawyer was one third snake, many a pony have stated that lawyers were snakes. This was now partially literal.

“Then let the trial of Jaded La Perm vs. Canterlot commence.” I banged my gavel, then lit my horn to set up the ‘Circle of the Concise’ around the witnesses stand.

“For my first witness, I wish call to the stand Jaded La Perm herself!” Apparently Pace Set was really going to try and do this quickly.

-Jade-

I sat down at the stand with my hands in my lap and a smile on my face, was my tail wagging? Who cares if it was? This would be absolutely fun.

“Jaded La Perm, you are sitting in a circle that requires you to tell the truth correct?” Mr. Set was testing the waters of the spell.

“Mmm… I want to say… Yes. I am in fact trusting that Celestia, your princess and current judge, knows how to cast this spell.” The circle turned green and I smiled, I liked the color green and if it was honesty that made it turn green, then so be it.

“Tell a lie to be assured the fact that the circle is working as intended.” Oh I had a good one for you prosecutor, what will you do when I say this?

“I’m absolutely guilty of all those crimes and didn’t have a very good reason for doing any of the things I’m being accused of!” The circle turned straight red and glowed so powerfully that I had to cover my eyes. I looked to the prosecutor. “Is it working correctly?”

“I would like to test it personally, return to the defendants table Ms. La Perm.” Pace Set’s eyes were twitching just a bit given how powerful my lie was. I returned to my seat and he sat down in the circle. “I will permit Maries to ask me a question.”

“Are you a racist pony Mr. Set?” Ouch, Maries, especially after I just proved that I lied about being totally guilty of my crimes.

“No.” The circle turned red underneath Pace Set who looked down at it wide eyed. “What I mean to say is that no, I am not acting specifically racist towards you and I will keep myself under proper control. I will be able to perform my duties adequately, I lost my father to an elevator related incident I do not wish to speak of that involves a monster. It would horrify some ponies if I told them about it. I’m not racist towards either of you specifically, but I am racist towards something else that may have colored my views of you and with good reason.”

Quite a few ponies in the jury were conversing with one another about all this, because the circle had turned straight bright green. Pace Set sighed and looked at the floor sadly from the stand.

“It is working correctly your honor, however, I will still try to see to it that the defendant is seen as guilty for at least one crime.” He got up and moved back to the prosecutors table. “I request that Ms. La Perm take the stand again.”

I stood up and made my way to sit down while smiling at the prosecutor wanly, he had no idea what he was in for when it came to me.

“State your full name, occupation if you have one and place of birth for the court.” You know Pace Set, these dull proceedings better brighten up soon or else I’d have to brighten them up personally. You really don’t want me to make a circus of this Mr. Set.

“I am Jaded La Perm. I prefer to go by Jade and I was born in the town of Port Palicoast in Abyssia, a sleepy fishing town. Before you ask, I have a dual citizenship for Equestria and Abyssia, not that it comes up very much. Immigration is an open policy around here.” The circle turned green beneath me as I leaned forward placed my elbows on the stand before me. “As for a jobs, I don’t have any.”

The circle glowed red.

“What I meant to say, is that I don’t have any paying or working jobs.” The circle turned green and I rolled my eyes. “Do you ever get the feeling that this circle doesn’t understand the difference between job classes in Ogres and Oubliettes and real life jobs?”

The circle didn’t respond and stayed gray.

“I object to any continuation of this line of questioning as Ogres and Oubliettes has nothing to do with this case currently.” Okay Maries certainly jumped on that quickly enough, hopefully Pace wouldn’t ask the right question about that.

“Moving on then… why did you provoke the royal guards into attacking you?” Oh that was a tough one to circumvent Pace, but I had an idea. Mr. Set’s wording could use a little work.

“I didn’t provoke the royal guards into assaulting me.” The circle turned green much to the disbelief of the jury who started getting angry and rowdy.

I provoked a royal guard, the not plural Shining Armor specifically, and he’s the one that I made Bavarian Fire Drill the rest of the royal guards into attacking me when he doesn’t currently have the authority to lead said guards.

“How in the world is that statement true, you were clearly seen attacking the royal guards?!” Wow, you are a sad and angry prosecutor. If you stopped to think about it, you would ask why I specifically provoked Shining Armor out of all the other guards around.

“They physically attacked me first, the royal guards caused all the collateral damage and I didn’t destroy a single bit of property while they were giving chase to me. I ran because they started firing spells at me and I had yet to actually do anything to them.” Technically true, which is why the circle turned green for me. I hadn’t done anything to them as a group. Again, Shining Armor was not the entire group and I only implied I would tell Cadence what he thought of her O and O playing. “I ask, shouldn’t they be held accountable for the damages they caused while chasing me?”

“My client is correct, most of the damages were caused by unicorn spell fire. Including, but not limited to the destruction of an entire cabbage filled booth worth hundreds of bits.” Thank you for the timely backup Maria. “So in essence… she can’t be charged or held accountable with the destruction of property as she never destroyed anyone’s property personally while being chased.”

“I believe that the charges will be dropped in concerns of collateral damage, unless you have reason to pursue that line of questioning any further?” Celestia asked as she looked towards the thoroughly dazed Pace, he couldn’t stick me with those charges at all. “We will be talking to the royal guards who were too enthusiastic about their jobs and their inability to control their magic at a later date. We find the defendant not guilty to the charge of collateral damage caused while she was being chased. We will be going through all the personnel on duty that night to see if they are culpable for their actions.”

The gavel swung and I was one accusation lighter on my list. The mind control accusation was quite iffy, but I already knew the fireworks and parade were a done deal. It just had to be brought up.

“Why were you attacked and chased down by the royal guard?” Oh finally, the prosecution actually asked a good question.

“Well… I, falsely, claimed I was up to no good because the plaintiff Shining Armor was suspicious about me becoming friends with Princess Mi Amore Cadenza or Cadence for short. I decided to confirm that suspicion as a joke and said something that provoked his personal reaction.” The circle glowed green, I thought provoking Shining Armor like I did was rather funny and the joke was definitely on him. “Just to make things quick and before you ask your next question… he assaulted me when I declared to tell Cadence what he truly thought of her Ogres and Oubliettes playing skills. He dragged his friends into attacking me and then a good number of the other royal guards began chasing me on his words.”

Again the circle was green, none of what I said was objectively a lie.

“I would like to call Shining Armor to the stand to hear his testimony.” Goat head Maria was figuratively on fire today, also quite on point with what I wanted her to do.

“I object your honor, Shining Armor is not the one on trial here!” Pace Set was a bit vehement in the way he said that.

“Overruled, it is relevant to the case at hoof. Jaded La Perm you may take your seat, Shining Armor get up on the stand for questioning.” Thank you Celestia, you’re a great lawful good friend.

Chapter Twelve, Courtroom Chimera: Objection questionable.

Author's Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTHYnXmavng

The plot thickens... add some parmesan to it, it tastes great apparently.

-Maries-

“No.” Shining said while looking down, the circle turned green. So he was telling the truth. We’ll give him a pass on that. The last of our questions asked, the unicorn stallion looked upset and had answered them all honestly and had proven himself to have gone quite a bit beyond his normal authority his current rank would give him.

“No more questions your honor, it’s up to your judgement.” We were delegating the punishment to Celestia.

“Shining, we’ll be talking later.” The sun mover, Celestia, would surely punish him as necessary. We didn’t care, we just wanted it known that Shining had gone above his rank as guard by ordering an attack on an equestrian civilian who was not taking any aggressive actions and hadn’t until the end of the parade. “Take your seat at the prosecution table. Will the prosecution proceed to tell us what accusation we should focus on next?”

“I would like to address the illegal operation of a parade, fireworks and the use of mind controlling magic.” We could immediately throw out two of those accusations, not that Pace Set would be happy when we did.

“May we present evidence that the parade and the fireworks were entirely legal?” It didn’t surprise us in the slightest that Jade went through all the proper channels.

“Yes, but first I want Ms. La Perm sitting in the witness stand.” He would have been better off if he asked us to sit in the witness stand, Jade could lie by telling the complete truth. A little more than a year ago we would have not thought such a thing possible. “I also request the right to ask her questions before the evidence is presented your honor.”

“Granted.” Nodding to the prosecutor, Celestia turned to us and waited.

We watched as Jade got up and moved to sit in the witness stand, Pace Set got up and took to the floor.

“Why, if there was a parade scheduled, did no one know it was going to happen?” Pace Set started pacing around, he stalked like a predator. We didn’t know what he was trying to prove. “Also did you get a permit for a parade and the fireworks used during it? Do you even realize what could have happened if a pegasus pony had been hit by those fireworks.”

“I have an idea as to what can happen to a pegasus if they had been directly hit by the fireworks, but that’s not what’s important. The skies were cleared that night and the weather team knew to not fly above a certain height, they also kept the airspace clear for the fireworks being put on display during the parade. Not a single pegasus was in danger.” While Jade was speaking, she stopped to look at the green glow that popped up every now and then. “We obtained a signed permit for the parade from a member of the royal guard named Rally Cry, scheduled a marching band to wait at a predefined location and the route was readily approved ahead of time. The reason nobody else knew of it other than those who were involved in it, was because the parade was not highly advertised.”

“Why didn’t you advertise the parade?” As if everyone didn’t know the answer to the Mr. Set, we knew why she did it personally.

“Well I wanted it to be a surprise.” A green glow appeared. Knowing Jade as well as we do, we’d say it was a complete surprise for the royal guards that got caught up in it.

“Who was this surprise meant for?” Okay now Pace was asking the right kind of questions, we thought we’d have go through this fighting an entirely unarmed opponent.

“The ponies in Canterlot at the time, they were all quite surprised.” At least Jade didn’t need our assistance at the moment as the circle glowed green with her honesty, she was handling her own quite well. 'Ponies in Canterlot' included the royal guards. “As for the rubber chicken, it really wasn’t important to any of this.”

The circle glowed red, then Jade sent us a wink. We smiled and winked back, she had just told the truth and it came out as a lie. It was of importance, just not to the trial or the current case. It was important to Jade who was part of this Trial.

“What rubber chicken?” Oh how that caused Pace to be thoroughly interested and his ears were immediately at attention.

“If you don’t know about it, then it’s not that important.” Again the circle glowed red and Jade smiled smugly, our prospective mate was quite good. “I’m sorry I brought it up if no one has yet to discover what was done with it.”

“No I think it is important. What is it about the rubber chicken that you don’t want me to know about?” Oh this would be interesting, Mr. Set’s thoughts had been derailed by Jade’s humorous insertion into the trial.

“Nothing...” That caused a red glow, then Jade said something that confused everyone in the courtroom. “I did nothing with a rubber chicken.”

The circle now glowed green when seconds before it had been red.

“What… but… how… Celestia, I would like to test the ‘Circle of the Concise’ again!” It was a minute later that Pace took the witness stand and looked towards us.

“Okay ask me a question that I have to answer truthfully.” This should be interesting at the very least Pace. What could we, as collective minds, bring against him?

“Do you take bribes?” A simple yes or no question like that shouldn’t trip him up.

“No, I have never taken a bribe and likely never will.” The circle glowed green, so Pace was not a sleazy prosecutor as far as we knew. “Now ask me a question that I have to lie to.”

“Are you happy with your life at this moment?” Giving us a flat look, Pace rolled his eyes and answered.

“Oh yes, I’m perfectly fine with what life is throwing at me at the moment and am not at all jaded by all of the shenanigans going on in this courtroom. Why meeting a chimera that’s an attorney in the courtroom is among one of the most enjoyable things that I’ve ever experienced!” The circle turned red and we didn’t appreciate his sarcasm. He sent Jade an inquisitive narrowed eyed stare. “Okay, its working… you may present your evidence now.”

Getting up from the witness stand, he made his way back to his seat while staring at Jade. We coughed and picked up our copies of the documents in question and delivered them to both Celestia and Mr. Set.

“This is evidence of the parade plans, the fireworks display launch sites and zoning to keep pegasus ponies from getting hurt. You’ll find it all in order.” If I, Maria, didn’t see to it personally, then Mara or Marie would have surely remembered for us if we had forgotten to think of something.

We hadn’t forgotten the evidence and we as Maries were currently on a roll. One might even say we were enjoying our job too much, even knowing we were not being paid to do this.

“It checks out.” It seemed Celestia didn’t seem the least bit surprised that we had legal documents to have a parade, parade route, fireworks and fireworks launching locations all laid out. Along with the permit allowing us to do as such. “The parade and fireworks were legally used at the correct times they were said to be. Even if not advertised, all precautions were apparently taken and the parade went on as scheduled.”

“Yes, but what doesn’t check out is the possible use of mind controlling magic that lead the various guard members into taking part in the parade.” This one was a thing that Pace had some merit in pushing, Jade hadn’t prepared for that. “I would like to focus on that issue now.”

“Granted, defense you will be given a few minutes recess to discuss your strategy and then put forth whether Jaded is guilty or not of the particular crime of mind controlling the royal guards into joining the parade.” After saying that Celestia banged her gavel. “A portion of the crime of disturbing the peace in Canterlot will be rescinded from the point Shining Armor started chasing Jaded La Perm to the parade taking place until its end. The parade was legally formed through all the proper channels, though it was not advertised and did not need to be. Disturbing the peace cannot have happened within that given time frame, unless Shining Armor wishes to be charged for causing the disturbance of peace among the royal guard himself. As you said Mr. Set, he’s not on trial and will be seen to at a later date.”

We looked to Shining and he wilted a bit, Marie and Mara were beginning to feel a bit sorry for him. Even I felt a bit sorry for him. The least we can do is convince Jade to help Shining with the courting of his prospective mate Cadence. He does not seem like a grand warrior and would thus probably need a little nudge to prove his worth to such a strong female as the one who creates lasting mating bonds.

“I agree to that your honor, it’s what happened after the parade that may still count as disturbing the peace.” It seemed Pace Set had firmed his resolve to continue the trial.

We immediately turned to Jade to start working up a defense, this would be tough. We had to convince Celestia, the jury and the prosecutor that mind control was not used.

“How do we do this Maries? This isn’t one of the things I had considered being brought up on when I did my pied piper act.” Our prospective mates were not perfect, but we still wanted Jade and Fizzle anyways. They were wonderful together and we wished to be wonderful with them.

Jade told us the story of the pied piper, how an Abyssinian fluted all the rats out of infesting a town and then never went hungry because they forced the rats into captivity. It resulted in a lucrative rat farm where the Abyssinian ate happily for the rest of their days.

“Well we’d have to convince them that you’re music does not entrance that mind, but the body. Yours as much as anyone else's.” Marie started, but couldn’t seem to figure out where to go from there.

“What if we convinced them that Jade could not do what she did without sympathetic magic?” My saber toothed sister Mara queried curiously. “Then it wouldn’t be of the mind that the magic controls.”

“How would we swing it though sisters? We don’t want Jade to be guilty of this crime, even if it isn’t dark magic and we could prove it did not control the mind. They could still claim that it illegally controlled the body.” I was approaching their two thoughts cautiously, as is my nature, while thinking of my own solution. “This is a tough situation… unless… Jade, do you trust us?”

“Our sister has just had a very intriguing thought.” Mara turned to me with a smirk. “It should do for our purposes.”

“Yes, I find that to be an effective strategy.” After hearing my thoughts, Marie concluded that my idea was sound. Our snake sister leaned over to start hissing in Jade’s ear and her eyes went wide. Jade smiled brightly. “Do you approve prospective mate Jade?”

“Of course… it’ll be quite interesting to see what Pace Set has to say about it.” After looking thoughtful for a moment Jade smiled and gave us all a kiss on the cheek. “He can’t deny that I had a right to do it if we go that direction, do it Maria!”

“Your honor, we’re ready to push forward on the allegations of mind controlling royal guards.” I intoned as the speaker for our job as the attorney in this case. We, Bloody Maries esquire, will defend our prospective mate to the best of our abilities.

“Okay, court is now back in session.” The gavel was slammed by Celestia’s magic. “How do you respond to the accusation of Jade performing mind control magic on the various related military units that night?”

“First off I would like to state, that the magic my client used does not in fact control the mind. It does however control the body, but only under a very specific set of circumstances. In this case I would like to put forward that my client is innocent by way of self-defense against multiple highly aggressive ponies.” We heard Pace Set scoff in our direction at this, well he wouldn’t be scoffing for long.

“How did your client control the bodies of my ponies and how would it count as self-defense?” In answer to that question Celestia, we were going to need Jade’s things.

“For her to force a body to march, she needs several requirements. One she has to have a wind instrument, two she has to have a griffon mask, three she has to be marching and four she has to be playing prior mentioned instrument while marching. We can give you a demonstration of the effects if you are to trust my client with the two required items.” We saw that neither Celestia nor Pace could see how this counted as self-defense. “It is self-defense because of one last requirement, you have to enter the range in which the magic will take effect. Every pony caught up in the parade tried to assault my client physically with their hooves and not with their magic, under that threat she’d be free of the accusation as they moved close enough to her of their own free will.”

“That… is very annoying.” Stated Pace after a minute. “Fine, let’s examine the effects in the courtroom.”

One test of the marching mask and the ocarina later by Jade, Celestia came to a verdict about the accusation. So far we hadn’t needed the jury to actually do anything if the issue was clear cut and judge Celestia could call it without a doubt.

“I find the defendant not guilty of not using mind control magic, she did use body controlling magic that has a limited range and in self-defense.” None of the jury spoke up against the verdict Celestia just laid out, we were proud of ourselves. “She cannot attack violently while playing the music instrument and marching, she can only delay an inevitable beating. Next accusation.”

“… I will skip fighting with lethal intent for now, I wish to get to the accusation that Jaded La Perm took party to the theft of the airship The Gilded Buttress and was part of a conspiracy to commit grand theft.” Here Pace paused and pointed to the doors opening into the courtroom. “To that end, I sent a summons for Mr. Billion Karats to make an appearance in the courtroom as it was his ship that was stolen.”

-Jade-

I could already see Celestia smiling deviously.

“I hope to end this swiftly.” A unicorn stallion with gold colored fur and blonde hair came into the courtroom, he was wearing a fancy coat, top hat and monocle. He even had a mustache that screamed fancy.“This young cur is so far beneath me, she’s not even worth being called dirt.”

Oh yes, I definitely hit a jackpot here...

This guy was going down and hard!

Chapter Twelve, Courtroom Chimera: Objection turnabout.

Author's Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rC5g5PHEFa4

Telling truths, lies and the massive turnaround this chapter!

-Celestia-

Okay we had the owner of that death trap of an airship in the courtroom, the very pony that has also been embezzling funds for repairing an overly expensive airship that takes way too much effort to maintain. It was also a large waste of the everyday normal tax paying ponies’ money.

How was Jade going to get him to… oh… no one has told Mr. Karats about the ‘Circle of the Concise’. How are you going to get him on the stand though?

“How do you plead to the accusation that you took part in the theft of Mr. Billions Karats airship and were part of the conspiracy to commit the theft?” Like I didn’t already know that she was going to plead…

“Completely guilty your honor.” Plainly stated the bored looking Jade, who caused the jury to gasp audibly.

Wait… what! I don’t even… did she just seriously admit that she was actually guilty of the crime? She’s starting to remind me of Discord. I knew she was actually guilty, mostly because she masterminded this whole thing.

From what Maries told me, Jade thought Blueblood owned the airship and wanted to catch him in the act of owning the illegal vessel in question. Obviously Prince Blueblood doesn’t own the vessel, but the pony who did and rented it out to several other nobles was still quite worthy of my ire.

Why was she even pleading guilty to this? There was also that whole thing about the rubber chicken that I still didn’t understand as to why Jade brought it up and then denied having done anything with the rubber chicken. Obviously there was something important about the aforementioned rubber chicken, but Jade said that she specifically did nothing with one.

“I’m still going to claim innocence for my client, as there is no evidence she took part in the theft of the airship personally.” It seemed Maria esquire was going to continue the trial as normal. “I request Billion Karats to take the stand please, so I can ask him a few pertinent questions about the night it was stolen.”

Ah, that’s how they were going to get him on the stand, but how can they ask him a question when they can’t provide the evidence that the airship is not what it seems? They can’t lead the witness and he can refuse to answer any question put to him, Billion Karats stood up and went to sit in the witness stand.

“State your name, occupation and place of birth for the court.” Maria lazily rattled off, the standard questions so the jury knows who they were dealing with.

“My name is Billion Karats, I am of a bloodline most royal and noble.” The circle was green for the first part, but started glowing red when he stated he was of a royal or noble bloodline. Mr. Karats didn’t notice it because had his eyes closed and a hoof pressed against his chest proudly. “I’m in the business of airships and or funding modes of transport for the rich and elite, I am even one of the richest ponies in all of Canterlot!”

Green glow, so he was being truthful about that.

“I was born here and given my noble stature, I quickly rose to power with good investments that made me the stallion I am today.” Judging by the blood red glow, he wasn’t even a noble or born in Canterlot at all and the way he said investments was highly suspect given how red the circle turned.

I’m just going to assume that Jade has caught out one of the worst scam artists to ever live in Canterlot, one that might even be scamming the nobles. If he is scamming the nobles, then I feel slightly conflicted about ousting him.

Only slightly, I hoped we could find out the truth today and get rid of this haughty blemish of a pony.

“Where were you on the night that the airship you supposedly own was stolen?” As Maria asked that, Jade sat up and stared at the stallion with something approaching disapproval.

“I was here in Canterlot visiting some friends of mine at a bar.” Started Billion with a green glow beneath him. “It came to my shock that I heard that there was trouble at the docks. This dust mite must have been the one to steal the airship! I hurried as quickly as I could to the docks, but alas my ship was already missing.”

The circle glowed red, obviously he didn’t know that we all already knew that he was wrong. He also didn’t hurry to the docks. I wondered, what was he really doing if he didn’t head to the docks immediately?

“Actually, she was only seen running by the scene of the crime some time before it happened, the airship was still in the docks and multiple royal guards are witnesses to it as still being there while they were chasing my client under false pretenses. She was never seen on the airship in question and there is no evidence to support that my client has ever even touched the ship.” Mostly because the ship is gone and with the absence of the evidence Maries could easily argue her point. I wondered, why hadn’t they jumped on Billion Karats yet? “Can my client be proven guilty without evidence?”

“Your honor I call Jaded La Perm to the stand so she can give testimony on why she thinks she’s guilty of stealing the airship.” After Pace said that, Billion stepped down and Jade got up on the stand.

Jade motioned for me to lean closer to her and I did so.

“We’re waiting for the right moment to expose him Celestia.” She whispered to me, apparently Jade had it covered. “Just continue the trial.”

-Jade-

Just you wait Billion. You surprised me, you’re not even a Canterlot elite and you are most certainly not a noble of any sort and you knew that for fact well enough for the circle to go disturbingly red. Also when he said he was hurrying from the bar it was a lie, what was he really doing at that night aside from visiting some friends?

“Do you know exactly where the airship called The Gilded Buttress currently is?” At Pace’s question, I considered lying to get a lie response. The truth causing a lie response was much better for me.

“Yes, I know ‘exactly’ where the ship is.” The circle turned red, it would have done that anyway if I had said no. The only reason why it responded that I was lying was that the circle didn’t consider some of the more pertinent facts.

I didn’t know ‘exactly’ where the airship landed or the ‘exact’ location it is at, but I know for certain that the golden airship was somewhere in or near Airship Mauled.

The word ‘exactly’ is what caused it to be a lie. I don’t know what happened to the airship other than where it was generally, but not exactly its location by latitude or longitude. The circle picked up on those exact thoughts and gave a false negative for me. You can easily manipulate it, but it requires a certain amount of specificity to get away with it.

“Yet you claim to have plotted the theft of the ship, did you just commit perjury?” Pace asked calmly, he was quite angry at all the stuff I was going to get away with. Hoofdini has nothing on my current act.

“No, I haven’t perjured myself. I did in fact plan the airship’s theft down to the finest degree.” I was happy to note that the circle glowed green.

“Then how could you have not planned on where it was to be taken?!” Mr. Set slammed his hooves onto the table and Billion Karats looked a little lost, nobody explained to him about the ‘Circle of the Concise’ spell yet. I hoped that we can keep it that way for a bit longer.

“I did plan on where it was taken, I just don’t know if it ever got there or if it is somewhere else. Right now it’s basically Humdinger’s cat in a box paradox.” Green glow again, oh I am ever good at this and Celestia just stared at me wide eyed. I turned a grin her way.

All I needed Pace to do is ask one important question, it was 'why did I steal that ship specifically' or any variation thereof. Billion wasn’t going to like it at all when I actually answered that question.

“Can you tell the court just what a Humdinger’s Cat Paradox is?” It seemed Mr. Set was up-Set, he muttered loudly to the court. “It better not be about a certain annoying intelligence flaunting cat in the courtroom.”

“I am not flaunting my knowledge, I’ve been sitting here quietly while my sister performs our duty as our client’s attorney.” Spoke up Mara, who looked vaguely angry.

“I wasn’t talking about you, though I will begrudgingly admit that you three are actually pretty decent attorneys.” Mr. Set sent a glare my way. Was it just because I was making a mockery of the ‘Circle of the Concise’ by being myself?

Maybe it was my antics with trying to get him focused on the rubber chicken thing. Said rubber chicken was actually currently in the room with us now, despite no one aside from me or Maries knowing where it was. I’m thoroughly surprised that it hasn’t been discovered yet, I would like to post-humorously thank Chancellor Pudding Head for a certain peculiar and still very valid ancient law involving that.

“Okay, Humdinger was an interesting earth pony. He did a thought experiment with a regular cat and not an Abyssinian like me.” That was my opening for this story and I was about to continue, if not for the interruption.

“This is a farce isn’t it? Why is Celestia even your judge! This seems like a conflict of interest and the princess shouldn’t be judging this case.” Okay Billion, I’m curious, how would you know Celestia being the judge is a conflict of interest?

“Quiet, you may speak when Pace and Jade are done. Speak out of turn two more times and I will hold you in contempt of court.” Thanks to Princess Celestia, the stallion clammed up quite fast. “The defendant will continue her story on Humdinger’s cat.”

“Now where was I? Humdinger, with the help of a unicorn, put the cat in a box. He had the unicorn cast an object teleportation spell on whatever was in the box at the time, he surmised that the spell would either ignore the cat or teleport it. It was discussed that until the box is opened, the cat is considered in a state of limbo of being there and not there at the same time, thus was Humdinger’s paradox born.” Letting that sink in, I added onto my statement. “The airship is in the box, but I don’t know if the spell to teleport it truly worked or not. As I have yet to open the box, would you say that the ship reached its destination successfully? You know, since I was captured by the royal guard, I haven’t exactly had the chance to go see for myself.”

“Are you quite done you piece of unwanted lint?” Okay, Billion was working up my distaste meter quite a bit with that snobby tone and the accent didn’t help either. It was so tempting to just do something like a petty kitty right now, but I would withhold myself from acting on the basest of my urges for a better outcome.

“Yes.” I strained out. The circle flicked between red and green, before turning green.

“Okay so you planned the theft of the ship, it was obviously successful.” Rubbing his chin and thinking on it, Pace suddenly asked the question I wanted him to. “Why did you steal that airship specifically and none of the others present in the air docks at the time? It’s had a history of breaking down so much and seems to cost a fortune in upkeep, why would you steal something that would be so costly and hard to get rid of or even keep because of how easily recognizable it is? It doesn’t seem like such a smart move for someone of your interesting intellect to take something worthless.”

“The ship was definitely stolen for a good reason, it’s because I knew the truth about the ship and it is only seemingly worthless.” A green glow came from below me and a slow building look of horror came over Billion Karats face as he realized where I was going with this. I smugly smiled at the unicorn. “For the gilded butt rests secret is...”

“I move to have the current judge removed on the basis that she is biased towards the defendant!” Billion almost shouted in interruption, ‘almost’ being the key word.

“On what grounds could she possibly have a bias towards the defendant?” Asked Pace who noticed that the pony next to him and Shining Armor was looking a little pale in the face and was sweating a bit.

“The defendant is a Sun Priest, so Celestia has to have a bias for her!” As soon as he said that, my eyes widened and then narrowed. The jury started talking and they looked quite confused by this turn of events. “I move that the court immediately instates a new judge of my choosing!”

Celestia kept a pretty tight lid on that information. How could he possibly know that I was a priestess? I knew that gold bar on his flank did not mean he was of great intelligence, he did just oust himself here by knowing about that. He might even possibly be responsible for sending those assassins after me.

“What’s a Sun Priest?” Shining looked a little confused, he’d been pretty quiet up until now. He was probably thinking about his actions.

“Not important, but what is important is how Mr. Karats knows that I’m even a Sun Priest in the first place. I actually happen to be an unacknowledged Sun Priest.” The ground below the stand glowed green, but I ignored it.

“Hold it! My client is not formally recognized or known as an acting or active Sun Priest by Celestia or any one noble.” It seemed Maria cottoned onto something. “By the laws that have yet to be repealed, Celestia cannot have a bias or conflict of interest unless Jade actually becomes fully recognized as a Sun Priest.”

“Then I move to have the stinking flea bag recognized as a Sun Priest, so that we can appoint another judge!” Billion angrily glared at me. I just wondered what he knew about Sun Priests and why he didn’t seem to like me so much.

“Are you really sure you want to do that?” The lackadaisical uppity tone Marie spoke in was just perfect.

“Yes, I want to acknowledge her as a Sun Priest!” Everyone turned from looking at Billion to Celestia.

“I formally acknowledge that she is a Sun Priest.” Stated Celestia, we smiled at one another.

“See, now you have to stop being the judge!” Unfortunately for Billion, he didn’t understand the reason why Celestia agreed with him.

“Nope, the charges against Jaded La Perm were immediately dropped... thanks to your actions Mr. Karats.” Banging her gavel, Celestia smiled at Billion. The gavel dropped again. “Mr. Karats, I'm quite glad to welcome you to your trial!”

Chapter Twelve, Courtroom Chimera: Don't get cocky!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pBWGp7vDKI&t=16s

-Maries-

“What… what are you talking about?!” Billion didn’t know what was going on or why Jade was suddenly free of all her charges. “You’re clearly showing bias towards the defendant.”

“Oh that doesn’t matter anymore.” A calm Maria stated. “Just one more crime, among several others. You aren’t a noble and therefore you can’t acknowledge Jade as a sun priest or throw out judge Celestia. In fact you don’t have any power in the courtroom come to think of it, I wonder what other illegal things have you done lately.”

“Of course I’m a noble, there’s nothing that says I’m not!” Billion Karats, you were a sad and pathetic stallion. We definitely had the arguments to show that you weren’t capable of acknowledging Jade. “So I have some authority.”

“Actually you don’t. Quick question, can you prove that you are a noble? I’m sure if we looked into your background, we’d find a pony who has tried to pass himself off as a noble and doesn’t even have documented proof.” We were bringing it into the light now, telling everyone what was wrong with this situation was Mara. We slammed our paws down on the defendants table. “Among the ways to become nobles are as follows: Our personal favorite is serving in Equestria’s military where you don’t have to do anything big to get a title of nobility. You can also hereditarily earning the noble title from previous family members or be given the title for incredible noble actions and being of service to Celestia directly. Can you, without a doubt, prove that you did one of these things before the court? Since Jade cannot be acknowledged as a sun priest by you… you’ve proven that you lack the rank of nobility to make it so Celestia has a reason to be considered biased. Your pending trial isn’t a farce, it’s very much real!”

“What do you mean, I did acknowledge her!” Now you were about to find out where you screwed up so much Mr. Karats.

“Yes, you tried to at least, but it didn’t work. Do you even know what happens when you truthfully acknowledge a sun priest? Of course you don’t, at least some nobles would keep up with the laws to make sure they can learn how to tip toe around them. You don’t even know that much!” Marie was going to lay it out for him. “Unless Celestia has suddenly stopped being a princess for some reason, the acknowledgment didn’t take. This means only one thing, which is that you were never a noble and nobles don’t exactly have the greatest of legal authority to begin with. The only reason why you want Celestia to step down is because the defendant was about to reveal the whole point of all her actions last week. Take it away Jade.”

“The truth about the Gilded Buttress is that it’s an illegally made airship and I’m the one that performed the investigation into it. If that ship were to ever crash, given its penchant for being costly in maintenance it would have eventually done so given how easy it is to damage, the results would have been quite devastating to the surroundings and many lives would have been lost or just outright endangered. The danger comes from the fact that the airship is almost entirely made out of gold and is twenty times heavier than a normal airship! That is way beyond the legal weight limit airships are allowed to have.” The jury just gasped. As Jade spoke we watched the look on Billion’s face turn downright scared and horrified. “It’s just not the airship that’s the problem though, it is Billion Karats rampant embezzlement to even keep the airship flying that’s the real trouble. Given that he’s been siphoning money from various government related jobs to keep his business going. If you don’t understand what this means, this means that he’s been stealing the money that the royal guards, garbage ponies, health care institutions and many other things this and other cities need to function correctly. He didn’t get rich by investments at all, he got rich by stealing tax money!”

Half the jury, made up of guards coming off of their injuries from Jade, turned towards Billion Karats with glares upon seeing the green glow from the ‘Circle of the Concise’. Billion got up and walked up to the witness stand and slammed his hooves on top of the desk in front of Jade.

“None of what you said is true, who’s going to believe a rotten little nothing like you!” The circle turned blood red, Billion’s really wasn’t getting away with this and was only digging himself deeper.

“The jury will, you’re standing in something called the ‘Circle of the Concise’. It is a spell that is now glowing red because you just basically told everyone I’m telling the truth because you’re currently lying and quite loudly at that.” At Jade’s words his eyes widened as he looked down and finally noticed the circle. “Thanks for basically telling us that you were not of noble blood by the way, very informative how it turned red earlier. That’s why Celestia asked if you wanted to acknowledge me… since you actually can’t. We’ve proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’re not as noble as you pretend to be.”

“Well… it seems that I have… maybe…” Billion Karats started backing away from the witness stand, looking all about and like he was about to have a mental break down. He turned around and started to gallop away.

“Shining, bailiff, someone, arrest that stallion!” Both the bailiff and Shining jumped to their hooves at Celestia’s orders and giving chase after the stallion, they fired stunning blasts at Billion.

The unicorn just stopped and smirk. The magic stunning spells didn’t seem to do a single thing to him, making both Shining and the bailiff stop and leaving us all perplexed. We could get up and do something, but it seems Jade already had it handled as she got up and approached Shining Armor with a very lazy walk.

“Think of this as the day that you almost caught me, I’m wearing an artifact that can protect me from magic!” He turned around to start running. “You’ll never get me!”

-Billion Karats-

Damn it all, I’ve been had, that sun priest has ruined absolutely everything! The last laugh will be mine because I’m going to get away to plot my revenge and then…

Something knocked the hat off my head, I then tripped on it and flipped over onto my back. I then felt something enter my open mouth and started choking me. I clawed at the object in my throat trying to get it out with my hooves, but it was hard to get a good grip on it.

-Jade-

The bailiff pounced on the pony and held a struggling Billion Karats down, who was currently busy choking on a rubber chicken.

“… did you just pull that from my…” Shining could hardly find the words for how violated he felt about having the rubber chicken pulled from where it was placed.

“Why yes, I did just pull a rubber cock right out of you. His name is Boneless by the way, he’s even kind of named after you!” I made my way over to the pinned and choking pony to help the bailiff, I left a stuttering mess of a pony named Shining Armor in my wake. “I would have named him Boner… but… yeah…tasteless...”

Running forward, I roughly kicked the side of Billion’s head. I successfully knocked him senseless before I retrieved the rubber chicken from his throat with the same hand I just threw it with. I dropped the chicken off to the side and started pulling stuff off of Billion Karats. I eventually found an amulet of some kind under his clothes, which I swiftly removed from his body. It was kind of warm, it probably could only stop a certain amount of magic before it fully overloaded.

The bailiff unleashed a point blank stun spell as soon as the protective amulet was removed, it seems we have just caught ourselves a pretty bad scam artist with a gold theme.

-Celestia-

“Well now, I can see why the rubber chicken was so important to her.” I heard Pace Set comment idly as he leered in Shining’s direction. “Now she can’t say that she honestly didn’t do anything with a rubber chicken. Though I wonder how that got there in the first place, much less how it went ignored for so long by someone who’s supposed to be an alert and well trained royal guard.”

“No wonder I was walking so funny for this entire week… it would also explain my irritability among so many other things.” With a glance I could see that Shining looked very embarrassed about the situation. How long has that rubber chicken exactly been stuck up in there? I would still punish him with a week of not seeing Cadence, but the rubber chicken thing was almost punishment enough on its own.

“Thank you for helping set this up prosecutor Pace.” I followed up my words by tittering into my hooves. How did Jade even throw it so accurately and was it just a lucky coincidence that Billion Karats ended up deep throating it? In any case, this was absolutely hilarious and we just caught ourselves a criminal. Thanks to an obscure law, Shining couldn't even charge anyone over the rubber chicken.

“You could at least have warned me that this was a fake trial princess, this has been a waste of my time.” Pace Set should cheer up. I mean when is he ever going to see someone get stopped by a rubber chicken like that again?

“Oh Jade’s trial is quite real, but now it’s someone else who’s going to put up there on the stand and she was well on her way to being acquitted of all her charges anyway. You were kind of fighting a losing battle Mr. Set.” I nodded to him amiably while smiling, not one of my daily fake plastered on smiles either. This was one of my true heartwarming smiles I’d give to Twilight, Spike or anyone else who's worthy. Currently, Pace Set truly deserved it. He’s gone miles in this trial and was stopped at the very edge. Miles Edge Worth… nah, that wouldn’t be a good name for Pace Set. “By the way, Jade never pulled her knife or used her claws, so she never caused anything close to life threatening injuries or attacked with intent to kill. So that would have been tossed out as well. Who’s going to accuse her of stealing an illegal ship and safely getting it away from any inhabited areas now, especially without implicating themselves of knowing about what the ship is made of in the process?”

“I…” Pace Set huffed audibly and looked at the floor. “You’re correct your majesty. We won’t have anyone left that can actively press charges against her activities… I would try, but I don’t want to be implicated as having known the ship was made of gold. I already told everyone I don’t take bribes, I’m an honorable stallion and I know when I’ve lost a case. I won’t lose this next one though… is there a particular reason why there are no other lawyers around today?”

Shining came back to the witness stand with a tied up Billion Karats and slapped him into the seat angrily. He was quite upset with Billion, he wasn’t the only royal guard who was upset. Had the guards in the jury been capable and weren’t still figuratively licking their wounds, they would have jumped on Billion Karats themselves.

“Yes, I believe Billion Karats has the right to an attorney. Why, oh my goodness, there’s three right over there!” My left hoof pointed out Mara, Maria and Marie who all gave us three evil smiles.

“You’re making this way too easy Celestia… I’ll cherish this gift of putting a criminal where he belongs.” There was a smug smirk on Pace Set’s face.

-Ten minutes later, Jade-

“Were you the one that sent those assassins after me?” I asked seriously. I washed off my hands and had Boneless completely magically cleaned, I planned to give the chicken away to the first colt I saw.

“What, no, I never sent assassins after anyone…” A broken Billion Karats was sitting in the box and he was whining about it quite a bit, he was at least telling the truth on this matter.

“Could any of your friends have possibly sent them, the ones who knew I was a priestess?” Billion Karats’ trial was actually kangaroo court flavored and more of a farce than my trial had been, everyone knew he was positively guilty. He couldn’t hide try and hide it either now.

We’ve been asking Billions about everything. We asked him whether certain royal guards were being paid off, if the crew knew the ship was made of gold and even how he started this whole set up to begin with.

None of the other nobles apparently knew about his duplicity. I so wanted to get Blueblood on criminal charges too… ah well. You can’t win all the time. We still had an airship made of gold sitting at Airship Mauled and as long as nobody remembered it was there… well… nobody said that we couldn’t keep it yet...

“Yes, but I don’t know who among them did, I just wished they were successful!” There was a bit of bite in Billion’s words as the circle turned green.

“You know, it’s not very easy to defend you when you make comments about wishing someone was dead.” Maries was actually making somewhat of an effort, but they knew that they couldn’t defend Billion Karats at all.

“Like you’re even actually defending me at this point!” Well she was actually, it was Maries job to be impartial and try to argue a lesser punishment for him. She was arguing, but it was clear cut that Pace Set was going to win this one and my case had taken longer than this one has.

“You could enter a plea bargain for a lighter sentence you know.” They actually were trying as I told them to not fake it, it was just that bad of a case that no lawyer could find legs to stand on to get him acquitted. “You could tell us about those ponies you met with and what they are doing.”

“They’d kill me if did, I’m not squealing on them.” Yep, this about wraps it up, but if Nil-ion didn’t send those two assassins after me, then who did? “I’d rather do my time thank you very much.”

-Airship Mauled, Jade-

“Guess what guys, Maries got me a not guilty verdict and even held her own in the courtroom!” I walked into The Witch’s Fare attracted to the smell of food, it was just unfortunate for me that I was going to be accosted before I could get anything eat.

“You, me, bed… now!” I was being dragged away by Fizzle, who obviously missed me and had a very strong grip on my left shoulder.

My favorite unicorn looks a little perturbed and tired, it’s like she hasn’t gotten any sleep lately. I guess we were having a good nap together.

-Cheese Sandwich-

Hello, I’m Cheese Sandwich, I like accordions and this rubber chicken that a cat gave to me!

Author's Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0q27gh4nhE

(New Alchemy Ingredient!)

25. Rubber Chicken (Yes).

Chapter Thirteen, Salve Searching: Close ingredients.

-Fizzle-

I can’t believe I slept for twelve hours, it was quite comfortable snuggling up to Jade. I nuzzled her fur and she shifted, was she awake?

“Can you let me up, I need to go… badly.” I released Jade like she had a plague, she jumped up and ran for the nearest bathroom.

I sighed, she waited for me to wake up didn’t she? She’s very sweet like that, I should really apologize to her for pinning her underneath me so that I could get some restful sleep in.

I got up and headed downstairs, mom was already awake today. It looked like she was doing cinnamon toast today. I sat down at a table and called out to her.

“Hey mom!” I could see the breakfast she was making was huge. “What’s with all the food?”

“Do you know what happens when my daughter misses a meal? They’ve been keeping my kitten fed up in Canterlot, but now that she’s home she’s going to be quite voracious given you kept her from eating a meal and I’m just preparing for that.” That sounded like a good idea Kuril, you certainly knew and understood just exactly how Jade worked. “I talked to Maries about what went on up there while you were dragging Jade off to bed… you didn’t do anything to my kitten did you?”

“No, I would never do something to hurt Jade like that!” I wondered if Jade had any complaints, she probably didn’t given how often she was ready to do a lot of things for me. “Though I did kind of force her to be a cuddle toy…”

“Good, wait until you are both old enough and keep it above the waist. I don’t mind kissing, hugs and snuggles in my house, but you are slowly starting to become a bit inseparable from Jade and as a mother I worry about all my children.” She approached me and started placing food before me. I began to happily eat. “You need to become a little more independent Fizzle, Jade has little problem with wandering off and endangering herself. While I admit that it scares me whenever she goes near Barely Bearable Woods, she needs to learn how to fend for herself and she’s pretty good at that. You need to learn how to survive on your own too, why if anything were to ever happen to me… well I won’t try to let that happen.”

“Mom, you took on a ten foot tall boar that was almost made of muscle and knocked him down quite a few pegs.” Despite the dryness in which I spoke, I knew that she could protect us when she needed to.

“Yes and I was scared for my life, but I was more scared for your lives than my own.” Kuril rubbed at one of her ears before continuing to cook a large amount of food. “Nobody hurts my kitten, pony or parrot in front of me and gets away with it!”

“You are a bit possessive of us.” Not that I mind it, I liked having someone who cared about me so much. “Being independent is not in the cards for me Kuril, remember how I lost my horn? I was more independent then, but thanks to that psychological scarring I’m having problems wanting to go anywhere by myself when I have friends that I can stick next to. I thought I was doing fine on my own, but then I met Sekhet and I found myself lacking”

“You stick more to Jade than anyone else. While I know you love each other, maybe you could try sticking to Jacky or Maries for a day or go camping together with Sekhet to chaperone.” That did sound like fun Kuril, but I was not going anywhere near Barely Bearable Woods. I might have had a slight case of Arkoudaphobia and the existence of what Jade calls drop bears didn’t help that fear. “A little bit of wilderness survival wouldn’t hurt Fizzle.”

“I guess it might help save my life someday… so I wouldn’t mind learning how to make a camp.” I could actually use wilderness survival training, considering how well I was getting by just by myself before I met these people and started living here.

“I apologize for interrupting, but we are currently experiencing a great amount of discomfort and wish to inform you of something important about ourselves.” We both turned to Mara and her fur looked a bit rumpled and Marie looked dried out. “We are currently going through our shedding… it has been a while since we did that. We will be shedding all our skin and the fur on top of it.”

-Jade-

“Did you just say shedding… like Marie the snake kind of shedding?” Okay I had an interest in this as I walked in on the conversation. “Quick question, do you heal when you shed that skin?”

“Yes, our body recovers… why do you ask Jade?” Maria was the one to respond to me and I had an idea.

“I was wondering, if it’s not too much to ask of you and it’s not of concern, can we have that shed skin?” It’s about time I decided to start working towards that horn fixing cure for Fizzle and maybe the shedding of a chimera could help with that. “I mean if it’s not too sacred or something.”

“No, we never have a use for what we shed because of me.” Marie seemed to be keeping her head lowered in embarrassment at how dry and flaking her skin currently looked. Her appearance was okay for a snake going through a shedding growth period, only this looked more full body shedding and it must have been uncomfortable for the other two sisters. “If it could be of use to you, then we will gladly give it away freely.”

“Well don’t shed in here! Go to Sekhet’s pyramid and do it in her home, I’m trying to run a clean establishment here.” Mom just reminded me that there was something that I really needed to do concerning Sekhet.

“I’ll go with her, I need to talk to Sekhet about something anyway.” I was about to walk off when mom said something that made me immediately turn around.

“Here I thought you were going to sit down and eat a very large breakfast, especially the fried eggs, toast and cheese filled biscuits.” It was much to my mother's surprise that it looked like I teleported across the room to the table, she sighed and started carrying out several plates worth food. “You are always the hungry one my gluttonous kitten. Come on Maries, sit down and have some food.”

“Of course matriarch Kuril.” They looked hungry, the Maries could always eat about as much as I could. So I could honestly say that I eat like a chimera.

-One hour later-

Maries started to lightly scratch at herself and her fur looked like it would peel away at any second.

“When your fur peels off are you furless underneath?” This might be embarrassing for the chimera, but I wanted to know and was curious.

“No, our fur is already growing underneath the skin and fur that we’re going to shed.” Maria rubbed a tiger paw at her neck the fur seemed to be very loose looking. It was almost disgusting, but I had seen worse things from the hairballs I’ve coughed up. “This is uncomfortable for us, but it is something we do.”

“Why do you want our shed fur and skin prospective mate Jade?” Well I should explain to Mara and the other parts of them why I was looking forward to this.

“It might be one part of what I need to fix Fizzle’s horn. I say 'might', because it is a state magical renewal and that would possibly help renew what is broken. It’s about time I really started knuckling down and searching for ingredients.” Though I was wary of going after hydra scales, they can regrow heads and that meant they had a magical form of renewal all of their own. There were two ways to kill a hydra, stab the heart or cut off enough heads in a short amount of time that the rest of the body couldn’t support itself when it grows too many heads. I didn’t want to kill a hydra, but I did want some of ones scales without being eaten and digested. “I have plenty of ideas of what to look for to help Fizzle, but none of it is a sure thing. If your skin might help in my research, then I’m asking politely if I can use it.”

“You may, we would not deny prospective mate Fizzle the chance to be whole once more.” Well that was a relief. Even if Maries shed skin and fur doesn’t help, it was still a good gesture that they were willing to part with something they had no use for.

I considered a list of things I could search for to help Fizzy as we approached Sekhet.

My ideas included searching for Bennu the deity of rebirth who is likely a phoenix, a god version of a phoenix might have different results from a regular phoenix. I wanted to go retrieve the chunks of Fizzle’s broken off horn from the den of the ursa minor that scarred her, unicorn horn was said to have something related to mystical healing properties in legend. I could possibly use Fizzle’s own horn to fix itself!

A few other things that I could think of would be downright dangerous to locate, like say for instance if something like Nanteos’s cup exists in this world, then it would definitely be protected by something extremely lethal. Something that Daring Do might run across in her travels… I had to find her and ask her to help with the search if she was willing to look into it. I already had Eir the Yak Valkyrie working on it from the island of Turtle Toga.

New idea, I could also go after antlered beings who could regrow their horns!

Darn it, there were just so many places to start! Provided that I didn’t previously exist in the timeline where Tempest Shadow comes into existence, who hopefully never does while I’m here to love and care about Fizzle, then Fizzle would have been searching forever and would never find a way to ever fix the damage done to her horn.

If Tempest Shadow still happened, despite me possibly changing Fizzle’s fate, even then I wouldn’t give up on her and I wouldn’t let her give up either.

-Sekhet-

“Hello Priest Jade, Warrior Maries, to what do I owe the pleasure of you visiting me in my home?” There was something I could feel as being off about Maries, their fur seemed to be sloughing a big and their scaly head seemed to be drying and the skin is ripping. Ah, they are shedding and molting their skin and fur off.

“Would you mind if Maries shed off her skin and fur in an empty room? I promise I’ll pick it up, I’m going to study it to see if I can get some healing properties out of it.” Upfront and honest, but with a hint of hidden amusement. What were you planning to do now Jade? You were an amusing mortal, but there is more you wished to do.

“Of course she may, go into that room over there and renew yourself in privacy.” I pointed my paw to an unused room off to the side and Maries bowed to us and moved off to do that. Turning back to Jade, I gave her a curious stare. “What is it that you want of me Priest Jade?”

Jade reached into her backpack, pulled out a bottle and threw it at my face. It shattered and the pieces covered the floor.

“That was in the effort of what exactly?” I knew Priest Jade, she didn’t do things for no reason. Though I am a little perplexed as to why she threw a bottle at me with bits of wood in it, I’m mostly just confused and not angry. I could hardly get angry with those I choose to protect, at least I wasn’t magically stuck here protecting them.

“That counts as crashing an airship into you, just freeing you of your word and the freebie you owe me.” Wait… why would Jade do that? Now that I looked at the pieces on the floor, I could see the deflated balloon and pieces of a tiny wooden boat. “I made an airship in a bottle while I was stuck in the Canterlot dungeons, Cadence was nice enough to get a kit for me so I wouldn’t be bored between our sessions of O and O. Nice pony that girl, a bit of a love freak though and she wouldn’t stop talking with me about my special some pony.”

“Doesn’t count, it’s not a full sized airship.” I tried only for Jade to shake her head in disagreement.

“Nope, it definitely counts, it’s still an airship. A very tine harmless one that I, Rogue Sun Priest Jaded La Perm, intentionally crashed into you.” This was way too nice of Jade, I had her pegged for being a clever jerk. What was clever in freeing me from the boon I gave her?

“What do you want?” This could be the only reason why she would free me of an offered free shot to have an airship slam into me without having to answer a riddle.

“For Fizzle’s horn to be fixed of course, but you as a goddess of healing, physical education and war can’t do that now can you?” Why yes Jade, please do keep rubbing it in that my healing prowess doesn’t match my ability to fell entire armies or coach you on how to get warrior like physiques. “In truth, I want nothing for this and just wanted to see the look on your face over me doing it this way. Aside from that I wanted to run several ideas past you about objects that may lead to healing the broken horn.”

“Interesting….” I lowered my paw over the glass and broken bits of wood and deflated cloth, with a snap of my paw the bottle reverted to its unbroken state in a flash of magic. It was an airship in a bottle, how very interesting and droll… I’m going to cast a spell to make this impervious to destruction. “I thank you for giving me a gift, even if it took some magic to reassemble it.”

“You are a very powerful and magical lady Sekhet. First off, do you know where I can find Bennu?” That is going to be a bit troublesome Jade, Bennu hasn’t been around for a long, long time.

“You wouldn’t be able to find him, he’s been long since gone Priest Jade and even I’d be hard pressed to locate him if he were still alive.” I think he might have actually died a true death, for a god of rebirth that would be rather ironic. Though I think I understand why you would ask of him first Jade, his power of rebirth ‘might’ have the power to restore Fizzle’s horn without any horrible side effects. “If you wanted to find my sister Bastet. That would be far easier, she’s guarding the tomb of a powerful pharaoh who was said to be the maker of the first cake in existence.”

Author's Notes:

Fresh blood can not be used as a magical alchemy ingredient, because it is necessarily alive. Dried scabbed blood is different and might be useful.

This is a thing that seperates Magical Alchemy from Regular Alchemy that Zebra's use in brews.

Chapter Thirteen, Salve Searching: “Easy” ingredients.

-Jade-

“So where would I find a Jackalope around here?” It was my friendly neighborhood goddess Sekhet that brought up Jackalopes, strange rabbits that grew antlers from their heads. Our discussion wasn’t long, but it had been somewhat interesting.

They could grow back their antlers once lost and are not very different from normal rabbits. I think I’m going to need Fluttershy’s help on finding one. Maries shed off skin and fur was a bit disgusting, but for the most part it was almost one solid mass that she pulled off like a jacket by ripping it down the center from between both their front head heads and then all the way back to where Marie started.

It was kind of like a cicada shell, only instead of coming out her own back, she came out of her own chest. I would ask Zecora to study some of that molted skin and fur later, right now I was writing down the things that Sekhet said might be viable to look into.

I wondered what Fizzle was up to right now, it didn’t matter because I was going to have to wait for Fluttershy to pop in to Airship Mauled before I can try to find a Jackalope. Hydra weren’t hard to find, it’s actually surviving one long enough to get away with stealing some of its scales that would be the issue.

Froggy Bottom Bog, the place where a hydra or two could be found. It’s not safe to be anywhere near a swamp if you know a hydra would be there.

A smart hydra would snap you up off solid ground at the edge of any swamp, then you’d instantly be either swallowed alive or crushed in the mouth and you’d be luckier if the hydra didn’t chew its food. If I was swallowed alive, I could just stab my way out as being swallowed alive is not nearly as lethal as being crushed then swallowed.

If the hydra was dumb, or a fan of theatrics, it would rise out the swamp slowly before trying to get you on land. Hydra were not known for their great land speeds, they had to move slowly and were much more dangerous to encounter in water or swamps.

As dangerous as stepping on a highly poisonous stone fish really, you’d never see it and before you knew it you were on your way to dying.

While I was waiting for Fluttershy to show up I might as well find something to busy myself with… magic missile aiming practice? Oh right, I haven’t been able to tell mom about that yet have I. Fizzle just immediately dragged me off to bed as soon as I got back, but she really did need the sleep.

It’s kind of hard to disturb a sleeping pony when they looked so peaceful and cute, especially while they were cuddling up to you and sighing happily.

“Well time to go ask mom if she wants to…” I stopped and stared at the jackalope staring at my fire as if mesmerized. There was no way I was this lucky, this had to be a trick.

Still… I had to try! I slowly snuck up on the grey antlered rabbit creature.

-Fizzle-

“Why do you want to kill Jade, what exactly has she done to deserve your ire aside from existing?” There was one thing that I couldn’t wrap my head around, it was just something Jade couldn’t have possibly missed. What she ignored was that the thestral assassin being in the same room as her was the most notable thing Jade didn’t draw any attention to whatsoever.

The thestral just sent me a glare, her golden eyes affixed upon my own, Kuril eventually came over and patted the thestral on the head. She didn’t look too old or young, in fact without a voice it was kind of hard to judge her age.

From what Kuril told me, she seemed to be mute and it wasn’t because her vocal chords didn’t work. It was because her vocal chords worked too well that she couldn’t talk, anything that came out of her mouth would be too high pitched to hear. She couldn’t physically speak without hurting someone’s ears, including her own.

She looks like she’s seen a lot of things before we caught her and tied her to the chair. Getting captured by Maries during the parade must have scared the wits out of her, every time she saw the chimera she shivered and didn’t glare at everyone in the room like she has been doing for the past few days she’s been stuck to the chair with mom taking care of her needs.

I wondered if Maries could hear the thestral if she were to try speaking. I heard a crash from outside and sighed, was it another Pukwudgie attack? I trotted out the door and saw Jade sitting in the middle of her fire, she was glaring at a confused looking antlered rabbit.

“Were you expecting my tail to catch fire or something humorous like that?” Jade didn’t look happy and she was about five seconds from entering petty kitty mode, I guess her fire wouldn’t hurt her judging by the way she wasn’t panicking by sitting in the middle of the flames.

The antlered rabbit nodded while smiling sheepishly, it looked like it was about ready to start running and it had better be. Jade was getting really quite fast.

“Then you don’t know me very well, let’s get acquainted!” Jade pounced and the antler rabbit leapt away and Jade started chasing after it on all fours. They leapt into some bushes and I could kind of make out the rustling shapes of both of them moving away

“Get back here and give me your antlers!” Wow, Jade sounds kind of angry there. I had to find something to do other than chase after Jade or watch the assassin that mom is caring for.

What to do, what to do… maybe Jacky is doing something interesting. I think I’ve been too clingy lately and if Jade wants to go chase a rabbit with antlers, who am I to judge? As long as she doesn’t come back half dead… I heard a loud explosion and a cat yowl.

If she dies, I was going to force her to haunt me for the rest of my life. I could learn to love a ghost.

Somehow I feel like I’m going to grow up to be a very sarcastic adult if I have to keep dealing with all the insanity around here.

Shaking my head, I made my way over to the fruit grove looking for Jacky. I eventually found them.

-Dr. Permanganate-

“So it can be toxic if misused or handled incorrectly Ms. Chickadee.” It was so nice to teach young minds about dangerous chemicals and or substances. I narrowed my blue eyes upon the youth to make sure she understood the dangers. “So be careful when handling such chemicals.”

“Right, because I don’t want those chemicals to eat through my feathers…” Jacky was quite a clumsy girl, but she was quite intelligent. I saw the one they called Fizzle joining us, I’m sure she’ll pick up on what we’re talking about soon enough. “What would you suggest for stopping bleeding in a fast and messy way? As in a no other choice kind of manner where you’re bleeding quite badly and need a quick patch.”

“A first aid scenario? Well I’m not that kind of doctor, but… I do know a few tricks.” I needed to keep repeating that I wasn’t a medical doctor, I was a skin, fur and feather care doctor. “Like take deodorant for instance. Most deodorants have Aluminum Chloride, which can clot nicks quite fast. However, you should never use pure Aluminum Chloride as it will burn and itch, but if all you have is pure Aluminum Chloride then beggars can’t be choosers. It’ll hurt, but it will stop the bleeding.”

“I would like to hear more about this.” Oh it would be nice to be able to entertain another young mind like yours Fizzle. I knew some quick and easy medical science, again medicine was not my specialty so much as topical creams were. I just happened to know some cheap medical tricks.

“Considering you’re a pirate, do you know what plantains are Jacky? I mean the ones that aren’t related to bananas.” I now had two students to teach, I was not trying to steal Cheerilee’s students, but they were coming to me to learn so I might as well give them something useful to remember if they ever get lost in the wilderness.

“Wide leafed plants that get about as big as a lettuce leaf that can grow just about anywhere?” Ah yes, then she knew what to look for.

“Yes, any genus of Plantago, not Musa, can be used to seal wounds. They are always used in ointment styled medicine called spit poultices, which is actually something within the realm of my specialty.” I started my lecture, if they were interested who was I to let knowledge sit around doing nothing. “When you have been bitten by a bug or a snake, chew some of a plantain plant leaves thoroughly to a mush and then spit it on the problem area. Let it dry out and it’ll suck the poison right out of nasty stings or itchy bites, but it’s not particularly useful against stronger poisons and it stops bleeding quite well. Plantains usually contain allantoin, baicalein, catapol and a few other helpful things. If you’d like to know more about those chemical, look them up.”

“Any other methods or plants to look for?” Ah yes, don’t you worry Fizzle, I had plenty of knowledge in the subject.

“Why yes, there’s also Soldier’s Woundwort which is better known as yarrow. It too is a chew and spit poultice.” Yes, I knew quite a few of those, but I still wasn’t a medical doctor. Just to be on the safe side I should really start a garden with a few of those plants, the children around here seem to get into vicious battles with pukwudgies and other things quite often. “If you really want something out there that can stop a bleeding wound in an emergency, then you need to look no further than lip balm.”

“Lip balm… never had a need for the stuff.” Well of course you didn’t Jacky, you had a beak and beak beings never had to worry about drying lips like we ponies sometimes do.

“Yes, well you have a beak my friend. Just know that a good lip balm can make for a pretty good sealant to large cuts and will stop scabs from forming, not all lip balms are created equal though. Watch out for the ones with cancerous compounds.” Was there any more I could tell them? Ah yes, there was an interesting one. “I also know a recipe for something called Instant Scab, it uses potassium ferrate. Potassium Ferrate is not toxic and is generally purple colored salt. It’s a chemical that requires some making and has a rather poor shelf life, but when mixed with the right stuff you can stop a bleeding artery almost instantly. It works for a good hemostatic powder that can prevent horrible scarring.”

“Could you maybe direct me to a few books on this?” Jacky asked pleasantly while clamping her talons together.

“Of course I will, it’s so nice to see young ones like you wanting to learn useful knowledge. My knowledge is all in topical stuff.” If they ever had some trouble I can eventually give them a live demonstration. “So if you need my help with something related to that then you can come to me… well I think I might be able to show you my stuff right now. You girls keep your friend entertained while I go get something for all those stings she has.”

Both girls turned away from me and towards the lumpy mess of a cat that was grumbling about jackass jackalopes under her breath. She was one to talk about being slightly jerkish.

-Fizzle-

“Okay Jade, what happened to you? You look like you lost a fight with a bee hive.” All those welts I could see covering her body must really hurt a lot.

“That darn jackalope dropped a fire wasp nest on me, at least it wasn’t flash bees or… flyder’s.” Nobody likes flyders Jade, nobody. So stop shivering in the thought getting caught up in a flyder swarm, because you’re giving me the shivers too! “Just so you know, I will catch the little monster and I will get what I want out of him. Mark my words, I’m going to war with that jackalope.”

“I would say don’t do that, but knowing you… you probably wouldn’t listen to me.” To me, it looked like she wasn’t about let this one go. “So, how are you feeling Jade?”

“How do you think I feel?” Jade was acting rather calm if she was supposed to be very uncomfortable I was not seeing it. “I’m going to thank my high pain tolerance on this one, fire wasp stings make you feel like your entire body is lit on fire. Like literally lit on fire, it’s quite excruciating I’ll have you know.”

“Oh… ouch.” Jacky hissed out loud and looked away. “At least your acting calmly, I’d be pretty bad off in your situation. Maybe possibly screaming angrily to the heavens and asking why the world seriously hates me so much to do this to me.”

“First thing I did was scream 'jackalope' in the angriest voice I could manage to get out.” Wow Jade had really good control of her body, I can only see her faintly twitching or the small flashes of grimaces appearing on her face. “So yes, I did something to that effect.”

“Right then, I’ve got some yarrow and some plantain leaves. Would you like to apply the spit poultice to your special some cat personally Fizzle?” He held out the bushels of the plants needs to help jade and I took them all in hoof. “Apply directly to all her welts wherever they may be after you’ve chewed them nice and proper.”

“Yes, please do hurry and make it stop Fizzy.” It was so disturbing to hear Jade say that so flatly, but I threw some of the yarrow and plantain leaves into my mouth and got to work on chewing them.

After having chewed the yarrow and plantain leaves for a while I spat a large wad out into my hoof and looked ups at Jade as she took her shirt off.

I moved over to Jade and started to rub this gunk into her fur, smoke started coming off of her in a hissing noise like that of a fire being put out. Jade sighed with audible relief and leaned into the circular motions I was making with my hooves.

“Be sure to evenly coat her welts Ms. Berrytwist and she’ll be feeling better in no time.” You were a good stallion Dr. Permanganate.

“No, time already happened, just a little more caressing like this and I’ll be in Elysium.” Smiling, I started to get Jade behind the ears and she almost melted into my hooves. "Yep, I've gone to Elysium. Tell my friends I loved them."

"Stop being so dramatic Jade." I threw some more herbs into my mouth and began chewing. "You've had worse than this."

Author's Notes:

I hope I got my 'spit poultice' facts correct. I decided also make this story slightly more educational now!

Chapter Thirteen, Salve Searching: Wrong ingredients.

-Celestia-

I sighed as I teleported to Airship Mauled. I had forgotten about the golden airship they stole as evidence, I hadn’t even thought of what to do with it. As soon as I arrived at Airship Mauled, I didn’t see a single sign of it.

I can only guess as to what happened with it, I didn’t even know how I was going to get all that gold back anyway. Teleporting that much material would cause a bit of a strain. I made my way for the pyramid on a hunch.

I entered the small pyramid and saw Sekhet Sphinx just relaxing on her stone throne in a lazy manner, one of her ears flicked and she suddenly sat up and turned to me. It was probably the sound of my hooves that alerted her to my presence.

“Excuse me for intruding, but do you know what happened to the airship made of painted over gold?” This was her home and I was intruding, I shouldn’t be too rude.

“Yes, I do know what happened to it. I filled my treasury with it after breaking the ship up into pieces.” Despite giving the war goddess a flat stare, Sekhet just smiled at me. “What, did you need it for evidence? We already took pictures of it and we now have a small outdoors swimming pool.”

“I would at least like most of it returned so that I can reimburse a few ponies for what that horrible pony Billion Karats managed to get away with. It was embezzled from my treasury so would you mind if I took it back?” The annoying Sphinx goddess rubbed at her chin thoughtfully as she took in my words and considered them. “There is no way anyone can spend an entire ship load of gold that fast.”

“You’d be correct sun bum, but why should it be returned?” It would be the right thing to do, but then what would you know about right things to do Sekhet. You hoard cake away from the innocent world and my mouth you evil pony faced cat! “It was gold already spent and turned into an airship and used illegally by unscrupulous sorts before it was rightfully brought to light by the Airship Maulers of the Airship Mauled Adventurers Guild, I think they could still have a better name for themselves and the guild. Wouldn’t the gold belong to Airship Mauled now? We’re not going to use it as an airship and we’re holding it as currency.”

“Look, can’t I just get some of that gold back?” I really wasn’t asking for much here, I wanted to get this over with quickly so I could get back to playing with… er…. teaching Twilight. Yes I was teaching Twilight Sparkle and most certainly not secretly using her to get time off from my princess duties.

“Fine… but only the front quarter of the ship, our Airship Maulers went through a lot of trouble to steal it and successfully pulled off a bunch of convoluted things to expose that criminal element.” Stop looking so smug Sekhet, you riddle loving monstrosity against cake going down my throat and instead making it go down yours you greedy Sphinx! “Besides your coffers should fill much faster without that drain on them. So really, you don’t need that much back. The real reason why you want all that gold is for cake money.”

“Nonsense, I can honestly say that’s not the only reason I want the gold.” Though it’s the major reason why I was here, I wanted to talk to Jade about her habit of causing chaos around Canterlot. It was starting to give Discord some power back and I’m afraid he’ll break free if he gets enough strength from all of her shenanigans. “I’ll be taking thirty percent of the ship from the front.”

“Twenty seven percent.” Oh it was going to be like that was it Sekhet? It... is... on!

-Jacky-

I watched as Jade and ‘cat mom of the year’ Kuril fired what they called magic missiles from their hands. It was a natural thing that all unicorns could do, build up magic and fire from their horn. It was so simple, yet there was a huge difference between unicorns and what Kuril and Jade were doing.

Jade called it an abnormality among casting, the cast drained energy from the user and didn’t destruct the object being using. The object in question was air itself and it seems like something that Jade nor Kuril can actually destroy in a cast.

Unicorns could fire magic missiles while changing the power, strength and speed of said magic blasts. They could even feasibly change the direction of a magic blast mid-flight and could even make it homing. Jade and Kuril could only fire in one direction at a set specific size and power, but the force behind it was pretty powerful.

I personally was working on shooting my arrows. Remove one from the quiver hanging above my tail, pull, breath and… release!

The arrows goes shooting straight backwards and in the complete opposite direction. I decided now was one of those times to break out my list of pirate expletives, how does my bad luck effect a perfectly nocked arrow like that? By all rights my arrows should just fly straight and in a mostly forward arc!

Whenever I release an arrow from this bow, it can go spinning, it goes left, it goes right, it sometimes veers straight up at a ninety degree angle upon being fired and that’s not even physically possible! Is it something to do with the magical alchemy on the bow or is it my luck that’s causing this, I’d seriously like to know.

“Excuse me… but is this your arrow?” Turning to Arizona, I squeaked a bit and stared at the impaled cow bell. The tail end of my arrow had impaled its way through the cow bell and the arrowhead was left sticking out of it.

“Yeah, sorry, I don’t know what it is about this bow, but the arrows do really bizarre and strange things when I fire them.” I really didn’t want any trouble with Arizona, she was really strong for both her size and her age. It sometimes made me wonder how she ended up here with Grace. “That arrow for instance fired backwards out of my bow despite the string moving it forwards!”

“Yeah, I kind of figured when the rear of an arrow impaled itself on my cow bell. It’s a good thing I have so many spares.” That was the one thing no one understood about you Arizona, why do you have so many cow bells when you don’t even wear or use them? Why did Jade even ask if you had a cow bell and what was the point of having one during The Gilded Buttress heist? “Where do you keep getting them from and why do you keep getting them? You never really use them for anything.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know that I do too use the cow bells and so does Grace, we just don’t do use them in public.” Okay, that just brings up so many more questions Arizona. What other uses could there be for cow bells aside from making noise. I felt it was the better part of valor to never ask. “Well now that I’m here anyway, I want to see you fire that bow.”

“Get back here you evil antlered rabbit!” Jade ran on by chasing after the rather elusive jackalope firing blasts of energy from her hand at it. It was swiftly evading her attempts to do whatever Jade thought shooting it with a magical ovals of energy would do. “Drop fire wasps on me will you!”

Jade disappeared off into the distance and Kuril calmly came over to us. Arizona pulled the rear of the arrow out of her cow bell and held it out for me to take it from her hoof.

“While my kitten is distracted, I guess I can find out what are you girls up to. Oh my goodness, is your cow bell alright Arizona!” Okay seriously, what was up with the cow bells and why were they important!

Even Kuril seems to know the answer and nobodies bothering to tell me, we never had cows on Turtle Toga so I would not understand the significance of a cow bell. All they do is make noise, yet Arizona treats them like they’re special when they aren’t very special at all.

“It’s a little impaled, but its fine Mayor Kuril. I’ve got plenty more where this came from.” Mumbled Arizona flatly as she moved the cow bell out of sight and it seemed to disappear into thin air. “I was going to figure out how Jacky managed to fire an arrow straight backwards.”

“Her arrow shooting issues are always a must to watch in action, something silly always happens.” Well that didn’t sound mean at all Kuril, sure go ahead and get amusement from my bad luck. “I can’t tell if it’s her bad luck or a random magical property of the bow Jade made.”

“It’s more than likely my luck.” I nock the arrow took aim at the target and judged the distance needed to hit it. I pulled and released the arrow, the string sprung forward with arrow and the arrow started flying straight for the target. It then hit the target without veering off course much to my amazement, it also landed in the center.

“You’re not a bad shot my cute parrot, I guess it’s just your bad that luck causes all kinds of weird things to happen with those arrows.” Well Kuril wasn’t wrong and I took the compliment and the pats to the head. “Just keep working on it Jacky.”

I was getting pretty good at hitting the targets, when my arrows didn’t do a whole slew of wonky and absurd things. I nock another arrow and fired it, in the same way as I fired the previous one and it left the bow on a completely different and higher trajectory. It’s like I just hit a lob in tennis, the arrow came down below the previous one at an angle.

“Yeah, that’s really weird. You were aiming it in the exact same way and it flew higher. I certainly didn’t feel any wind when that happened.” Of course you didn’t Arizona, I don’t think wind would have quite that effect on my shot.

“Oh, aim an arrow straight down at the ground and fire it!” Turning to Kuril who was bouncing up and down excitedly, with a groan I decided to do just that.

Arrow to bow, aim straight at the ground and… the arrow should just go into the ground. Instead, when released, it flies as if I fired it normally. I was pretty sure I was aiming absolutely straight down and the arrow just goes and strikes the target just next to the first arrow.

“Yeah, I’m getting the feeling that you should personally stick to cannons. Something like that should be impossible without magic, but knowing you and the bow possibly being magical… I can say without a doubt that I have no clue how that even works.” Arizona shrugged and went for The Helping Hooves Inn. “I’ll see everyone later for evening vittles, I’m going to hang with Grace for a while. I don’t want her to get lonely by herself.”

“Later Zone! You know I’ve been meaning to ask Kuril, what exactly was that obscure law involving Chancellor Pudding Head about exactly?” I hadn’t thought to ask about that until now. “You know the one I mean, it’s the one Jade and Maries used while they were up in Canterlot.”

“Well the law just makes it legal to stuff rubber chickens in unusual places without repercussion or that’s the basic gist of it anyway.” That still didn’t explain why there was a law making it a legal action Kuril. “I’m pretty sure Pudding Head was a distant ancestor of Pinkie Pie.”

Okay, that was something I could certainly believe. It would certainly go a long way to explaining a whole lot about the obscure law that allows you to force a normal duck to wear pants. Why would any pony need to use that law anyway? Why bother with putting pants on ducks? How did Pudding Head get so many crazy obscure laws that haven’t been repealed and were still valid one thousand years after the fact? I should stop thinking on this, it’s making my head hurt.

“It’s just Pinkie’s ancestor being Pinkie’s ancestor, got it.” That’s what I was going with and I was going to stick with it.

“Sounds fair to me.” Kuril shrugs and turned towards the sound of a limping figure. Jade had a smile on her face, she was battered and bruised beyond belief and in her left hand she was clutching two antlers. “You didn’t kill it did you?”

“Of course not mom, but the little monster really didn’t like me stealing his antlers. Did you know jackalopes become stupidly fast when they lose their antlers? I sure didn’t.” The battered and beaten, but relatively triumphant, Jade continue to limp on past us and towards The Witch’s Fare. “I’m just going to go lay down for a while, so if you’ll excuse me. Oh and could someone collect some yarrow and plantain leaves. That would be helpful, thank you.”

I would have to remind myself to not get into a fight with a jackalope if it could rough up Jade that badly.

“You know, now that I think of it… didn’t that jackalope Jade was chasing have wings?” Yes Kuril, I saw the wings too. The jackalope a few hours ago didn’t have those. “No… wait… jackalopes never get wings unless… that wasn’t a jackalope, it was wolpertinger! I should probably go tell Jade about that.”

The grey wingless jackalope went hopping right on by us, antlers intact and the same as they were hours ago, while seemingly laughing out loud at Jade’s misfortune.

“Yeah, I should definitely go tell Jade that she just met and fought a wolpertinger.” She chuckled dryly as she walked away. “They are far more violent than jackalopes and you can easily confuse the two for each other.”

-Kuril-

“Kitten are you okay?” I opened the door to her room and looked in on her.

“Yeah, I’m fine, but who knew a jackalope could fight so hard? At least I got some jackalope antlers out of it.” Oh my poor Jaded, I’m sorry to tell you this but…

“Jade, that wasn’t a jackalope, we saw the jackalope and it still has its antlers. You just took the antlers off a wolpertinger.” That earned me a stare as my kitten immediately sat up.

“Are you kidding me?!” She shouted in horribly annoyed manner.

“No I’m not kidding, we in fact saw the jackalope and it still has its antlers. Those are the wolpertinger's antlers.” My daughter forced her face into a pillow and let lose muffled scream of frustration. “Well look at it this way Jaded, at least it wasn’t an al-mi’raj.”

“Yes, because one of those would have actually killed and eaten me. They’ve been known to eat Ursas despite their small statures.” Jade sounded very frustrated and tired, firing so many magic missiles takes a lot out of her. “I wouldn’t put it past the jackass jackalope, that I declared war on, to be responsible for it appearing.”

Chapter Thirteen, Salve Searching: Acquired ingredients.

-Fizzle-

“Thank you Mr. Refreshment.” A nice cool fruit smoothie made things better for my slow day. Well at least it felt slow to me. Jade was spending time with her mother or chasing after the jackalope, whichever it was.

“Mention it to everyone you know. I’m not just a fruit grower, I’m a specialist in make tasty drinks as well!” Look Mango, I would, but all my friends already know about you. Even Pinkie knows and she hardly visits that often since she’s usually very busy in Ponyville. “My name is Mango Liquid Refreshment after all, humble fruit farmer and juice maker.”

“Sure, I’ll get right on that.” Please understand sarcasm the first time, I did not want to keep using it on you.

I finished my drink gave the cup back to Mango and went to see what Jade was up to, it was getting to the point that mom would start working on dinner soon. The best course of action to find Jade was two sources when I’m not the one being asked where she is, one is Jacky and the other would be Snickers the sea turtle dove that seems to know where we always are.

Jacky was the most obvious one to talk with, I saw her practicing with her bow. She wasn’t bad at using it, but the arrows tended to defy reality in how they worked and even Jade was wary of approaching her. She was about to fire an arrow and I stayed well away from her until she finally released her shot.

Much like the other times Jacky loosed an arrow it shot into the tree above me and a reddish purple mango dropped right onto my face. I quickly reached out a hoof and caught the mango with the arrow lodged in it. It was safe enough to be around Jacky when she’s firing a bow, she’s never hit anyone or anything in a lethal manner with those blunted arrows.

“Is this yours?” I state calmly holding the arrow in the mango out to her, she looked a little sheepish and plucked the arrow out of the mango. Rolling my eyes I took a bite out of the mango. It tasted pretty good, but not overly sweet. “Do you know where Jade is or the direction she was last seen going?”

“She went to her bedroom to rest off being battered by a wolpertinger, that jackalope outsmarted her forty or so minutes ago and tricked her into attacking it. It must be upsetting for Captain to lose a battle of wits to a jackalope more than once.” Thank you Jacky, that was very informative. I gave her a nod and she nodded back, then I was on my way as she nocks the arrow again.

Seconds later I ducked my head while moving forward, the spinning arrow that soared over my head made me roll my eyes. I stopped to pick up the arrow, I flicked it backwards and then lightly bucked it in Jacky’s direction.

“Thank you!” Being thanked by Jacky made me smile, it felt good to be appreciated.

As I walked up to the restaurant I heard a familiar voice calling out to me. Like Sekhet, this was a goddess I knew that couldn’t do anything for me and I felt a little miffed that Celestia had both a horn and wings.

“Excuse me, but do you know where Jade is at the moment? I need to talk with her.” Vaguely lending Celestia an ear as I went inside, she followed me and then made a comment on the first thing she saw in the room. “Is that a tied up thestral sitting in a chair on top of a bedpan?”

“Yes, I know where Jade is, she’s up in her room. Also that’s one of the assassins that attacked Jade, don’t rightfully know what we’re going to do with her aside from take care of her like we have been.” As I spoke the thestral turned to look at us and seemed a little bit intimidated by Celestia’s presence. “She hasn’t really been much trouble for us and we’ve been feeding her quite well, we don’t have it in our hearts to torture her. Mom babies her a lot, despite the fact that she’s tried to kill Jade twice over already and is a full grown mare.”

“Have you been able to get anything out of her?” Celestia didn’t seem overly curious about the assassin, to be fair the bat pony didn’t really do anything interesting tied up like she is.

“We can’t, she literally can’t talk at all.” I was still quite angry that she was interrupting my date with Jade. Not that her inability to talk means she’s bad at what she does, I just happened to be able to beat her up before she got too far.

The unnamed draconic winged pony wasn’t able to fight off Maries either, but at least Maries had the advantage of surprise, size and muscle on her.

I’m a lightweight young unicorn pony, a pony race not exactly known for its physical prowess, who beat her to near unconsciousness. That’s when I almost got stabbed in the back by her, I think I’ve learned my lesson from that and the pukwudgies. Never feel safe until you are absolutely sure it is.

“Is she missing her tongue, are her vocal chords weak or does she not simply have them?” Out of all those things Celestia. The most valid would be the vocal chords, but in the opposite direction.

“None of those, the problem is that her vocal chords are too strong. I’ve heard rumors of the royal voice, well that’s her natural state of existence and it hurts her ears and those are quite important to her as a thestral.” There was another thing about her that I really should inform Celestia about. “We know she can write, but we don’t trust her with a quill, pencil or even any other writing implement you can think of.”

“Okay then, so what room is Jade’s?” Celestia could either be left to figure that out on her own or I could ask a question before leading her there.

“Before I show you, what do you honestly think we should do with Ms. Stabby?” I couldn’t care less if the assassin got angry with me for calling her that, the only one trying to build trust with her was 'Kuril The Motherly'.

“In my opinion, you could try to befriend her. At the very least try to find out what she’s being paid to attack Jade and why she needs that money.” That didn’t sound like too bad an answer Celestia. “You then show her a better path and that it’s not a good idea to continue attacking Jade, with force if necessary.”

“Has anyone ever attempted to assassinate you?” Just something I needed to know to sate my curiosity.

“Oh plenty of times. Assassination attempts on me happen at least once or twice a year, sometimes five if someone is feeling particularly vindictive.” From the looks of it, Celestia had never really seriously been hurt. Her fur, feathers, hair and everything about her looked completely unblemished by the harsh life she is supposedly leading as the current leader of Equestria. “Think of that and add to the fact that I’ve been alive for over a thousand years. If someone were to successfully assassinate me, then moving the sun will get a lot harder and whoever managed it would practically doom the world. We don’t exactly have the top tier unicorns that we did in the past, there are a few I can find that could aid in moving the sun and I can certainly tell you that none of them are nobles.”

“Okay then, I’m particularly satiated in questions.” I motioned to the princess lazily with a hoof. “Come along, I’ll show you Jade’s room.”

As we made our way up the stairs, Kuril was on her way down.

“Hello there Celestia, here to see Jade? She’s a bit down in the dumps at the moment thanks to meeting a particularly gifted jackalope, maybe you could help cheer her up.” Mom stopped and swept me up into a tight hug and rubbed her face and whiskers against my cheek. “You were just about scheduled for a quick hug anyway my little Fizzle.”

I squirmed a bit and Celestia smiled at the affection I was receiving from mom. I was giving back just as much by hugging mom with my hooves that I wrapped around her. She eventually released me and continued on down the stairs. We made it to Jade’s room I opened the door to see Jade’s tail sticking out of the cardboard box.

“Jade, Celestia needs to talk to you about something.” I heard Jade groan, before she sat up to lean against the edge of her cardboard box to stare at us. “Also I heard you were bummed out about how the jackalope has managed to outsmart you a few times.”

“He’ll get his in due time, no one can outsmart me forever… except at many subjects with the most prominent being complicated math.” At least you knew you weren’t perfect Jade, but you were definitely cuddly and made sleeping easier for me. I still can’t believe I forgave you for forcing me to attack you. “Does this need to be private session Celestia or can Fizzle stay?”

“She can stay, it’s not of grave importance… and you probably would have told her about this anyway.” Sighing Celestia sat down and looked slightly amused to see Jade go back to relaxing in the cardboard box. “It’s about Discord. I worry that your chaotic actions might have caused the seal to loosen on him.”

“He’ll get free eventually anyway, no matter what you do really. You can’t keep chaos locked away forever. Chaos, it happens every day in small or big ways.” From the sound of it Jade knew what she was talking about and I looked to see Celestia had a slightly upset look on her face. “It’s a necessary part of the world Celestia. Without chaos both positive and negative, there is only stagnation. Discord will eventually break free, but it will not be me who causes that to happen and I will admit that he causes too much chaos that goes well beyond his job parameters. It's still his job though.”

“Do you have any suggestions for what I should do if he gets free?” It sounded like Celestia wasn’t about to get into a philosophical debate with Jade about this, because it sounded like Jade was holding back a very long tirade about something related to ponies in general. I just had a feeling about that, I should ask after Celestia leaves. “I ask because you seem to know of the situation already.”

“I’m just guessing, while I’m not asking you to confirm this, that you don’t want me doing any more weird things around Canterlot. Mind you he gets power from any chaos, even the chaos that ponies themselves create.” That sounded pretty dire Jade, were you going to say something helpful to Celestia at least? “So really, it is quite inevitable that he will break free. Destroying the statue won’t stop him from breaking free and would make it all that much harder to contain him. When he breaks free… not if… just do what you can and your best. Things will work themselves out, mark my coming words. Discord can’t break the balance of harmony, he can only upset it drastically. A few special reminders at the right time will help you immensely in tipping the balance back to normal.”

Celestia gave Jade an odd stare and titled head, she looked towards the ceiling and then back to Jade and nibbled at her bottom lip.

“What did you need from that jackalope?” As soon as Celestia had asked that, Jade perked up immensely.

“Well I don’t want to hurt him for starters, I just want his antlers for some important magical research I’m doing.” Getting out of the box, Jade pointed to the antlers that were sitting upon the desk in her room. “I heard that their antlers grow back really fast and instead I ended up with wolpertinger antlers, which grow back at considerably slower speeds. Doesn’t make the wolpertinger any less dangerous to face head on, note my roughed up appearance.”

“I will assist you in retrieving the jackalope antlers.” We both looked at her as if Celestia had a screw loose. “It’s about time I did something a little bit unusual personally, where is the jackalope?”

-Thirty minutes later, Jade-

Wow, that jackalope has got to be one of the smartest animals I’ve ever met. Five pitfall traps, two more fire wasp hives, a smashing logs trap and even a normal hunter’s tree snare. Celestia was currently hanging from said tree snare. Fizzle was getting pretty good at seeing the traps before I walked into them, mostly because she cared about my safety more than Celestia’s health.

“Excuse me for what I’m about to do if I see that jackalope again.” Celestia mane was a bit unkempt with bits of leaves and twigs in it, her fur was a bit matted and her horn was covered in tree sap and her body had green splats of spit poultices chewed and applied by Fizzle. She was hanging by her rear hooves and the look in her glowing eyes was murderous.

“Why, what are you going to do?” In answer to my question the jackalope hopped out and started to shake his butt at us, Celestia lit her horn and her throat suddenly became incased in a magical glow for a few seconds. I slowly turned to Fizzle.

“Cover your ears, I think I know what she’s about to do.” I crouched behind a tree and covered my ears, Fizzle immediately followed my lead by crouching next to me with hooves on her head.

“YOU WILL NOT GET AWAY THIS TIME, BECAUSE I’M GOING TO ROYAL VOICE YOU INTO SUBMISSION!” The ground shook and quaked, the skies immediately became cloud and the shockwaves of Celestia’s voice had stunned the annoying little antlered rabbit stiff. “THIS IS ONE OF THE FEW TIMES I WANT TO HAVE FUN AND YOU ARE RUINING IT! CAN YOU POSSIBLY BE MORE ANNOYING TO DEAL WITH, I ASK OF YOU!”

I calmly got up and walked over to crouch down next to the jackalope who almost looked like he was dying from a heart attack, either that or Celestia’s voice had successfully overloaded his brain and he could no longer run, fight or react to anything properly. This goes to show that I should never make Celestia yell at me.

“Thank you Celestia, you’ve been a great help!” I kneeled down and pulled out my knife to start sawing away at the first antler.

-Five minutes later-

“Well that was an eventful way to end an afternoon, so are you staying for dinner Celestia?” The lovely pony goddess nodded and looked like she got her appearance completely in order.

“Well I don’t know if I should… depends on what your mother is making.” It sounded like Celestia was staying for dinner to me, she was only trying to act like she was uninterested.

“Jade needs more vegetables, to that end tonight is a night I made coconut cake.” Mom’s most unique way to get me to eat more vegetables, because I hated coconut cake.

Author's Notes:

Okay I'm beginning to really flag a lot... ugh my head hurts from having done this for almost two... or has it been nearly three months straight? I've lost count.

A little help here someone?

Kuril The Motherly- Title makes Kuril more prone to taking care of others, often at the expense of ignoring her weird tom cat daughter.

Chapter Thirteen, Salve Searching: Hydra-ted ingredients.

-The next day, Jade-

Coconut had a texture that I didn’t like and Jacky could agree with me on that, still mom always did get me to eat extra vegetables and I didn’t complain as I had a full stomach at the end of the night. Now today I was outside Froggy Bottom Bog, with Fizzle in tow.

If you were wondering, the jackalope has already grown his antlers back. The overnight recovery was ridiculous, the wolpertinger was around and its antlers were going to take a while to grow back. At least I could tell the difference in the antler coloration, still the wolpertinger antlers could prove useful so I kept them.

I could have chosen an easier thing to go after today, but no. I was choosing to go after hydra scales right now and it was dangerous for me to do this, given how big and dangerous hydra could get. I wanted to do this alone, but Fizzle wasn’t about to let me go anywhere by myself. At least she was bright enough to know I was going to get into trouble today, just not what kind of trouble.

She was the only one here with me and I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a complaint about what we were doing here. The brown bubbling muck looked as it smelled, that being horrendously bad. We were sticking close to the swamp trees and the solid ground outside the swamp, my reasoning is that a hydra couldn’t bite through the trees. Also trees would slow a giant hydra down. Smaller ones, not so much.

“Jade, what are the chances we get swallowed whole trying to get some scales off a live hydra?” Turning to a very alert Fizzle, I answered her worries with a kiss to the right cheek.

“Don’t worry Fizzy, we just need to find a sleeping hydra and collect its scales carefully without it waking up. It’s that simple.” At least I hoped it was, it’ll certainly be harder than getting salamander scales. Fizzle was blushing and looking a bit shy, it was just so easy to get cute reactions out of her. “This won’t be too hard… I think. I mean collecting salamander scales wasn’t hard right?”

We still needed to test the salamander scales or at least mom would do that today, if they were anything like fish scales then we’d have fire breathing down as a new magical alchemy sustain by the end of the day. Unless dragon scales give us fire breathing then I don’t know what salamander scales would actually do. So many magical alchemy things to test, so little time to test it personally.

“Bucket of water to the mouth, hold mouth shut because they can’t open them very well like a crocodile and shave off a few scales.” The method Fizzle was describing was what we did to get some salamanders scales before the salamanders were thrown back where they belong, which is somewhere around Ghastly Gorge. “I doubt we’d be able to do the same thing to a cragadile and hydra get far bigger than those things! Even a one headed hydra is dangerous to meet Jade, they are bigger than a bear.”

“Two legs, a tail and one head, I’m pretty sure that we can take at least something like that Fizzy.” I was either brave, stupid or a combination of both with an added sense of crazy. We were out here looking for hydra to mess with and they weren’t pleasant creatures by any stretch of the imagination.

“Then don’t mind me when I say I told you so Jade.” You were still going to follow and help me on this Fizzle. So really, you’re just as bad as I am. “So are you going to take Maries up on that offer of a date? They just want to go fishing with you.”

“I’m considering it, it’s been a while since I went tail fishing. Just so long as we don’t fish anywhere where there’s bat-acudas.” We walked along the trees looking at the swamp pits for any sign of movement and our ears were alert for the sound of large stomping feet.

We were getting nothing so far, were there even hydra around at this time of day? It was still morning, a nice quick trip in The Ardent Survivor got us here quite fast.

“Aren’t they technically called bite-acudas? You know, because of their big snapping jaws.” Really Fizzle, were we seriously going to have one of those discussions?

“It would be bat-acudas, they have tiny bat wings that allow them to fly out of the water at you!” I would defend to the death that they were bat-acudas. They looked like the cross between a bat and a fish, so really calling those fish bite-acudas is dumb because barracudas are already known for their aggressive behaviors! The word ‘bite’ was superfluous, where bat wasn’t and was a descriptor. “I never agreed to call them anything else, barracudas are aggressive and are already known for biting. So why would you have a similar species using bite, when they have bat like features that allow them temporary flight like flying fish?”

“When you think about it, they are more like bat-ranhas. You know, because they swarm like piranhas… which makes even less sense that they are called bite-acudas in the first place.” Oh good so you weren’t going to get into one of those discussions Fizzle, you were just going to confuse the issue even further about what bite-acudas were. “Barracudas are sea fish, bite-acudas are river fish and seem to have little to do with barracudas on the whole. So why do they have that kind of name?”

“Well I want to lay into whoever named that particular brand of river fish with a sock to the jaw, but yeah fishing with Maries wouldn’t be so bad.” I stopped and looked about. We saw no movement through the trees and only heard the croaking of frogs, the trills of birds and the bubbling of the nearby bogs. This place felt absolutely calm. I decided to continue on with our conversation. “Bat-ranha sounds closer to what they actually are… do you suppose it was a pony that named them bite barracudas?”

“Maybe, but now that I’ve thought on it more, I think they are called bite-acudas because they are like bite sized barracudas.” Stopping to tap a hoof against her chin, Fizzlepop looked to start getting slightly aggravated by our topic of discussion. “Okay that’s still kind of dumb, barracudas that swarm like piranhas and… okay now I too am angry at whoever named them that! I think I’m right, they’d be more like bat-ranhas than bite-acudas.”

“See,you get where I’m coming from with this Fizzle!" We continued to scout the general area, I wonder if the population of hydra was small around here. "Except I still prefer the term bat-acudas.”

This place was technically outside of the Ever Free Forest, but still quite dangerous territory and we shouldn’t be getting too relaxed like we were. I passed right by Froggy Bottom Bog on my way into Ponyville the first time, never actually came here before this though. Kind of like how I passed by Flame Geyser Swamp and met Maries, but never actually went into the swamp itself.

“I’m not seeing anything out this way Jade, are you sure there are hydra here?” Yes Fizzle, I was quite sure there had to be one around here somewhere. “I’m getting a bad feeling about this just from being here, it’s a bit quiet. That was never a good sign when I was on my own.”

I was going to scrape a few scales off of one hydra, I need at least ten if they’re small. If they’re big, then I’ll just need five. At least enough for magical alchemy testing and to see if Zecora could use it in zebra alchemy to fix Fizzle’s horn. I wasn’t about to get Fizzle’s hopes up though, so I didn’t even explain why we were doing this. Just that I was going to do it.

“Yeah, I can see that being a thing.” So I was just going to throw this out there while we search for an elusive bog monster. “How was it being all alone?”

“I personally don’t like it, but I could survive being alone again.” One long pause from Fizzle. “Provided that I had friends and a home to come back to, knowing that everyone I care about will be waiting there for me.”

“Sounds good Fizzle.” My idle comment was met with a dry chuckle, I was about to continue looking about when I froze and realized something. “Fizzy… I have an important question to ask.”

“What is it Jade?” I carefully reached over and grabbed her by the broken stub to direct her attention to several things. “Why are you grabbing…”

“Quick question, does the hill we’re currently on have any trees or grass on it?” I cut her off with a sense of urgency in my voice.

“No, but what does that have to do with anything?” Instead of answering Fizzle, I pointed her into looking at several other hills which were covered in swamp grass or trees. The hill we were currently on was made out of thick dry and hardened mud, a large lump of it in the middle of the open ground near the edge of the swamp. Giving it a second to kick in for her, I watched as Fizzle’s pupils shrunk to tiny dots before returning to their normal adorably large size. “We’re standing on one… we are... standing on a hydra.”

It took us both a moment to recognize it, but the hill was shifting slightly. This hill wasn’t so much a hill, it was a mud covered hydra that was currently sleeping. Nice to know what to look for now when it comes to being careful of the surrounding terrain, frankly we tried not to make any sudden movements.

“I think I see the necks leading to the heads, you see those holes those are what it’s breathing through. I think I can see some teeth in that one, so it’s sleeping with a mouth open.” I pointed it out to Fizzle and she nodded once she saw the breathing holes for the hydra, any creature looking to make a shelter in its mouth was in for a nasty surprise. “This is perfect, we’re exactly in the right position to get some hydra scales.”

“Can you do that without waking it up though? This hydra is kind of big Jade.” Ignoring Fizzle’s worries, I started to carefully dig at the mud with my hands. Once I shifted enough mud out of the way I could see its scale beneath mud.

“Don’t honestly know, we’re about the size of ticks to it Fizzy.” I started to uncover more of the hydra, the scales weren’t going to be hard to get. It’s getting away with it that will be the hard part. “We have a slight problem here.”

“What is it?” Turning to Fizzle I gave her a weak grin.

“This isn’t the two legged variety of hydra… this is a four legged one.” I pointed at the blue scales to confirm this fact. “A Blue Back Hydra to be specific, four legged hydras are much faster and deadlier. So… we definitely do not want to wake this thing up. Two legged hydra are clumsy and easy to confuse or outrun, in this case we’d be hard pressed or lucky to even escape a hydra that is both fast on land and in water.”

“Then just don’t wake it then.” Sure no pressure Fizzle. Just a deadly four legged beast with multiple heads that we’re clearly in for a lot of trouble with if I just so happen to wake it up.

“I wish we had some anesthetic right about now so it wouldn’t be able to feel what I’m about to do.” I cleared enough of the mud away to gain access to a number of scales I needed. I looked at Fizzle and then turned back to the scales and started to carefully pry at one with my knife.

A hydra was a hydra right? It’s not like species mattered when it came to having the correct ingredient for fixing Fizzle’s horn, heck I didn’t even know if this would help in the first place. It was just a supposition about how hydra make extra heads having incredible regeneration powers that could feasibly help Fizzle recover her horn.

If it did matter, and Zecora told me so later, then I would know for certain that this world absolutely hated me or Fizzle. It didn't matter who the world hated, just that it hated one of us.

“Quick question, what do we do if something else wakes up the hydra?” Looking to Fizzle from my position where I’ve managed to pry up a single scale without the slumbering monster waking up, I saw an oddly panicked look on her eyes.

“We run as fast and as far away as we can get or find the nearest place to hide safely from it under a really sturdy tree.” I looked back down and started cutting another large blue scale off of the hydra’s back, at this rate and because of their size I would only need about four scales from this creature. Please world, don’t ask me to do this again with a two legged yellow hydra. “Why did you ask that?”

“Because I can see another hydra coming to attack this one.” Fizzle stated bluntly.

Standing up and looking over the rise of the fake hill, I saw a vaguely smaller three headed, two legged, yellow hyrda slowly stomping its way towards the hill we were on.

“Do you think it saw us?” I asked as I hurriedly pried away another scale from the blue hydra’s back, that was three scales and I was almost finished.

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s going to attack the hydra we’re currently sitting on. It’s already rearing back one of its heads to lung forward and it’s not currently looking at us.” Yeah, that was something you didn’t need to say Fizzle. I could even hear it growling loudly and it sounded hungry. “We are so dead aren’t we?”

“Not necessarily, they’re going to be too busy fighting one another to worry about eating any fast food. However we may get caught up in the scuffle if we’re still here when it...” I didn’t get to finish my line of thought.

Two of the heads of the yellow hydra roared a challenge as its middle head dove into the mud and the entire hydra shifted. The yellow hydra had grabbed one of the blue hydra’s heads by the neck, thus waking it up.

The muddy hill shifted, it cracked and slowly the hydra we were on top of started to stand, its other heads snapped out to attack the yellow hydra.

“Hurry up Jade, we’re about to become part of a horrible territorial dispute.” Believe me Fizzle, I know. I was already working on the two scales at once just to speed things up.

I had plenty of water to fight off a head or two from attacking us, but three canteens of chilled water wasn’t going to do a single thing to stop two hydra. Once I pried the scales free, the blue hydra was standing and already swinging its tail for the other.

Chapter Thirteen, Salve Searching: Partially hydra-genated.

-Blade-

Life was a horrid thing… at least it was sometimes. Being tied to a chair wasn’t so bad, but I was missing a lot of exercise. I think I could get free, but my target wasn’t currently around.

The food here was good, but that woman should stop treating me like a little filly... though I appreciated the effort she’s putting into it.

-Fizzle-

“Okay, let’s go!” Shouted Jade as she stuffed the scales into her pack, behind her I could see the blue scaly tail of the Blue Back Hydra slapping the three heads of the yellow hydra across all of their faces. That staggered it quite a bit, but it recovered within seconds and was already biting back with its razor sharp, ‘pony rending’, fangs of imminent death.

“How are we going to get down?” We were currently standing on the back of a large hydra and our position was rather precarious at the moment. We stumbled as the blue hydra stumbled from the swing of the yellow hydra’s tail.

“Yeah, that’s going to be a bit of a problem.” You actually think Jade? This is already seriously going to be part of a large number of problems, getting down safely wasn’t even the worst of them. It’s getting a good enough distance away to avoid getting trampled underfoot or hurt. “We’ll have to hold on until we get an opportunity to run for it.”

“Can I ask you a question before we inevitably die from this?” I don’t see any other direction this was going in as the back of the hydra we were on shifted as it stood up to claw at one of the heads of the other hydra.

“We’re clinging to the back of a hydra and we’re not going to die Fizzle, at least you’re not going to die while I’m still alive to make sure nothing happens to you.” Either you were just being chivalrous or you loved me more than you cared about your own life, Jade you're a lovely idiot. “So what’s the question? If it’s about marriage then I’m just going to say we’re too young to be thinking about that. That and I’m surprised you would think about that at a time like this, not to mention I’ve upset you greatly in the past and will probably do so again in the future. You might need to get your head examined.”

“No, that’s not what I was going to ask about.” Keeping my blush under control, I stumbled when the hydra was rocked by a particularly rough hit. Jade grabbed me and kept me from falling over or rolling off the side of the hydra. I certainly wanted off this ride, and like yesterday at that. “What I wanted to ask you was, what would have happened if Billion was actually a noble and could actually recognize you as a Sun Priest?”

“In the minor scheme of things, nothing much would have changed… watch out!” Jade tackled me out of the way as yellow head dug its teeth into the back of the blue hydra, I had almost been swallowed alive and Jade had just managed to keep me from being hydra food. The blue hydra made several of its heads roar in defiance and then they all bit into the offending neck of the head digging into the flesh of its back. “In the long term major things, the public would be outright informed of my very existence. I’d publically recognized in an official capacity and then assassins would be able to find me easier as my place of residence would be public knowledge. Not that the thestral we have tied up doesn’t already know where we are. Not to mention that there are still people out there that are trying to have me killed, but that’s not exactly of immediate worry. The plus side would be that Billion Karats would have allowed me to get away with a lot more stuff than I do, but I’d definitely be in far more danger than we currently are.”

“How can we not be in more danger than being stuck in a fight between two hydra?” I tackled Jade, returning the favor as another yellow head snapped at us.

“Well for one, the one we’re on doesn’t know we’re here yet and…” The blue heads of the hydra we were on roughly ripped off the offending head that tried to make a snack of us again. We were hit with a spray of bodily fluids and the now two headed yellow hydra stumbled back roaring in pain. “We’re not technically between their fighting yet.”

The stump where the yellow hydras third head used to be started to split itself in half and two new heads started to form on the two expanding and growing necks. The blue hydra was in the midst of brutalizing the yellow hydras body during this.

“Doesn’t make the current situation any less horrifying Jade.” I flatly point out while wiping off my face with my right hoof. The ripped off head was now creating a pool of blood on the ground and now there was a four headed bipedal yellow hydra fighting a four headed quadrupedal blue hydra.

“Eugh… my poor fur… the smell is going to take forever to get out.” Whined Jade, I think we had more pressing matters at the moment than us getting drenched in hydra blood. I knew she wasn’t really as upset about it as she sounded. I watched as Jade licked at the blood on her right hand. “It doesn’t taste too bad though.”

You were an absurd being Jade and I loved that about you.

“Focus Jade, I have a plan!” She turned to me with her ears at attention. The heads were gnawing and biting at one another, the hydra were both bloodying one another and ripping into flesh in a sickening display for dominance. I was more focus on our exit strategy, I pointed at the felled head. “We’re jumping off and onto that, the flesh of that dead head should be pliable enough to cushion us.”

“Sounds fair, get on my back and I’ll jump us down there and do a secondary jump by sustaining my griffon feather.” Of Jade’s repertoire of magical alchemy tricks, she really liked the griffon feather long fall trick. I clambered carefully onto Jade’s back and wrapped my hooves around her tightly digging my neck and face into her pack shoulder. “Hold on to your bowels Fizzy and get ready to start running!”

Oh trust me, my bowels will be the least of your worries when we finally get out of here. Jade ran towards the side of the hydra the torn off head fell on and leapt off the side of the blue hydra. She narrowly avoided the snapping jaws of the yellow hydra's newly forming heads from biting me off of her back.

We were going to fall short of the decapitated hydra head, but Jade kicked off the air and landed us right on top of it. It did in fact cushion our landing like I thought it would.

I quickly let go of Jade as we started tumbling down the ripped off head’s neck until we came to a complete stop on the chin near the ground. The head had landed upside down after it and a portion of its thick neck was ripped off.

Jade sat up and pulled out her knife to start prying up the freshly dead head’s scales. Ever the opportunist, Jade was collecting more scales for whatever reason she needed them. In the background eight heads were in a biting frenzy as the two hydra continued to rip and tear into one another.

The yellow hydra was heavier and able to get more force out of its tail, which it just slapped into the side of its opponent sending it tumbling. The blue hydra had more balance with its four legs giving it stability and it was quickly up and using its front claws to tear at the meatier body of the yellow hydra.

It was brutal to watch, and yet for some reason I couldn’t look away from the battle. It was like train wreck.

I felt a tug on my mane, it was Jade pulling me away from the fight and my hooves started to follow her tugging automatically.

“You know, this isn’t so bad, I mean it’s what amounts to two sumo sized opponents trying to push each other out of a circle.” At her insistent tugging, I turned away from the two large monsters and started following Jade off the chin of the head we landed on and into the trees. “Also they’re too busy with each other to pay us any real attention, so let’s get out of here before one of them wins and decide to snack on us!”

The last thing I saw of the two hydra was the yellow one managing to dig its larger claws in the blue hydras chest. We got away relatively unscathed, slightly bruised, covered in mud and hydra fluids. I had no idea where we were going, but Jade seemed to have an idea of some kind in mind.

We were a distance away when we heard the roar of the victor, it wouldn’t get us because we were already escaping into a thick forest.

“I wonder if Zecora has managed to finish setting up her home.” You would know that answer better than I would Jade, you were the one that went off with Zecora one day to explore some place called the Ever Free Forest. “Don’t drop your guard Fizzle, we’re entering the Ever Free Forest. I just hope Zecora has almost finished hollowing out the tree for her personal use.”

“Isn’t the Ever Free Forest said to be exceedingly dangerous?” I asked, I think I remember a number of warnings about entering this forest.

“Anything you hear in Ponyville is likely from those who can’t handle it… speaking of Fizzle...” She trailed off and looked at something off to the side. I turned my head and saw several wooden wolves sniffing the air, after a bit they gagged and backed off while whining loudly. “I was about to say run, but I guess there’s a definite positive side to being covered in hydra gore. Anything that comes towards us will be scared off by the smell of a bigger predator.”

“Well that’s something I guess.” I was dripping with hydra fluids and quite frightened for our lives right now, please tell me some good news Jade. “Do you even know where to go from here?”

“Not exactly, but I’m sure I can find her campsite quickly enough that it’ll be only slightly into the evening when we finally get there.” I’ll hold you to that Jade. “Could you please stop licking yourself?”

“But it tastes like pudding Fizzy.” I sometimes forget that my beloved friend is an omnivore given how often her meals are more often than not vegetarian in general, with the occasional side of fish that I also eat so I’m not exactly one to talk. “Pudding Fizzy!”

I rolled my eyes and release a slow drawn out sigh as I followed Jade.

-Two hours later, Ever Free Forest, Jade-

“See, told you we can find Zecora here in the forest somewhere.” We approached the safe campsite and Zecora took immediate notice of us and stood up. “And there she is. Hey Zecora, could you maybe provide some assistance?”

“Of course my friends who seem to be covered in stuff that is muddy, now tell me why it is that the both of you smell a bit… bloody?” Zecora’s nose wrinkled at our approach and she looked positively aghast with our smell.

“We went looking for ingredients to do things, one of which involved hydra scales. We got the hydra scales and another hydra came along and started to attack it and us once it saw us on its back.” Stopping to lick at my fur disgusting both Zecora and Fizzle in the process I continued. “We were lucky to escape with our lives and the scales I pried off of the hydra we accidentally ended up on top of. We could have done it without waking the hydra, but that other hydra really had it in for us.”

“It sounds like quite a tale, I’m glad to see that in escaping you did not come to fail.” Zecora pointed to the logs and the fire she had going. “Come, come, sit with me, get yourselves cleaned up and of that smell I’ll certainly help you be free!”

“Thank you, Zecora. Also the sooner you do that, the sooner Jade will stop licking herself and commenting on the idea of blood pudding being a thing that exists.” You do know that blood pudding is a real thing Fizzle, you’ve even had mom’s fish sausage in the morning and that’s basically what blood pudding is. Hydra were like giant swamp fish and even tasted like it too. “Hurry up with the help Zecora, watching Jade lick herself is going to make me sick.”

So I was a bit disgusting, hydra blood just happens to taste like a really messy pudding. Probably because of all the fat in the blood that is congealing on us right now.

“For my friends a towel or two, mostly to help wipe all that muck off of you.” Zecora tossed us some towels and the rest of the day went pretty well after that point.

-One day later-

“So you’re telling me that one of the potions you made can restore certain potions of a skeletal structure in a pony, but it can’t restore the wings, horns or the hooves in the ponies where the magic is most focused? Aren’t those rather highly specific things for the potion to ignore fixing?” Seriously, I had to wonder what was it about magic that made it so hard to recover just Fizzle’s horn alone. "The potion might help a few unfortunate ponies, but the ingredients are definitely not that easy to acquire. Also, are you sure other potion only helps fix any damage done to a being dentally?"

“It helps to have some things that are floral, when it comes to fixing your teeth with the potion that is oral. The potion is short lived, but quite powerful and can fix chips, cavities and many things like that in fact. It can only fix those things when it is given after the damage is done shortly after the act.” Zecora let off a slight chuckle, then she decided to address the other potion I had commissioned of her in a slightly sadder tone. “As for the potion to restore the body, it does just that. Unfortunately for you, it can’t heal damaged concentrations of magic my friendly cat.”

“Okay, can I at least help you with the shelf life of your potions by doing some magical alchemy on your bags?” I knew Zecora might one day be able to figure out a fix for Fizzle’s horn. She could fix teeth, make ointments and various salves, but this was the one thing that stumps her? “The oral fixing salve will be nice at least.”

It's like how Twilight can give a dragon a bushy mustache of hair and can even do the same thing to Trixie, but she can’t fix her friends destroyed mane in the future… yeah it makes complete sense and I'll totally buy that.

Author's Notes:

Jade is a bit upset that her efforts didn't immediately lead to success at the end there.

What was never tried was repeated casts of the mustache spell where Rarity's mane should be after it gets destroyed...

Dragon's don't have hair and Twilight says she couldn't make hair out of nowhere to fix Rarity's mane with Starlight Glimmer's help.

So what is the mustache spell doing exactly?

Chapter Fourteen, Oh Goddess Why: Thoughtful times.

-Another day, Jade-

“I think Zecora has gotten closer than anyone else, but she couldn’t make something that can restore Fizzle’s horn from the ingredients I found.” As far as I know she was the closest, I started to move my hand towards the cake batter only to get it swatted away by mom’s tail. “I left her some spare ingredients to study for now, I need to find more ingredients with regenerative properties. The more ingredient like that, the better. Eventually we’ll get to the point that we can heal the magic and damage of horns, wings and hooves. I can think of at least one pegasus filly that would benefit from having the magic in her wings fixed.”

I tried again for the cake batter only for mom to turn and glare at me.

“Kitten… birthday cake… for Fizzle… do you really seriously want to ruin the batter and her day?” Point, you have a very good one mom. I still gave her a pouting face, she smiled at me and turned around to go back to her morning preparations. “So you still got her a present right?”

“Of course I did mom, it’s not like I’d forget to get her one!” Speaking of which, I should probably go get it out of my room. The horn restoring potion idea was on the shelf for the time being and I promised Zecora to try and find more ingredients to see if she could actually pull it off.

Making Fizzle’s birthday a memorable and happy one was what I had to focus on now. I just had to go retrieve the present from the secret compartment of my cardboard box.

I wondered if anyone thought my obsession with my cardboard box was a bit absurd. Mom didn’t seem to think it was absurd, then again she now had an adult sized cardboard box in her own room.

-Fluttershy-

I knew today wasn’t the best day to cash in the favor from Jade and her friends, but it was coming up soon and I wanted their help with this. It was nice to hear that Jade committed no crimes…

I mean no obvious crimes aside from legally keeping most of the gold they stole and only Jade had to answer for her actions in a court of law, nobody even knew who the others were who took part in the theft. At least a bad pony was caught, but I still worried that I didn’t do the right thing. Mostly since Jade and the rest of us got away with a lot of gold that every pony, for reasons I didn’t entirely understand, stopped caring about once they had a real criminal to lambast.

Still though, these people were my friends and they were far friendlier than most ponies in Cloudsdale from school. I didn’t get along with many other fillies my age aside from Rainbow Dash and the less said about all the mean colts the better. I was a bit jealous of Rainbow Dash right now, but I couldn’t really complain just because Gilda was attracted to her and not me.

I could completely understand why Gilda was attracted to Rainbow too, she was far more interesting than I was. It wasn’t my low self-esteem talking, Rainbow just did a lot of exciting things while I stayed quiet and off to the side a lot of the time.

It’s too bad Gilda was going back home soon and that we couldn’t be closer to one another. I was having trouble working up the courage to even talk to her.

Shaking my head and sending my longer mane flowing about to get my concentration back, having long hair felt nice to me and Jade’s advice to grow it out was a good idea, I started descending towards Airship Mauled.

I came in for a landing and saw Jacky waving me over to her, I fluttered slightly and dropped in front of the parrot holding my wrapped present.

“Hey Fluttershy, nice to see you’re doing okay. Captain is busy making trouble for her mom, maybe she is even being helpful every once in a while. Follow me, I’ll show you where to put your present.” Following Ms. Chickadee inside, I was happy to note the party supplies were already put up. Did that mean Pinkie was here? “Fizzle is currently sleeping in with Jade’s decoy, she’ll be slightly upset when she wakes up and find out she’s snuggling Maries’ birthday gift. Also Maries has some more questions about animal behavior to discuss with you.”

“Sounds like a nice discussion to have over tea. Did Pinkie spend the night?” It looked like the party was set up by her.

“Nope, this party was set up by me. I read my party cannon instruction manual in full and figured out how to load an entire party into it. It’s really useful, just aim, fire and instant decoration!” A cannon set all this up Jacky? That’s really amazing! “Pinkie’s invited though, how have things with Rainbow been going?”

“She’s still my best friend and we spend a lot of time together.” I went to a nearby chair and sat down, I looked at the table and started drawing invisible circles with my right hoof. “She’ll be able to spend a lot more time with me soon, because Gilda will be going back home.”

“Want to talk about it?” Looking up at Jacky, I bit my lower lip and considered it. Would she understand how I’m feeling? At least I knew she wouldn’t laugh at me or think little of me, everyone here was so kind and I liked that.

“Gilda’s really intimidating, but I really like her. She’s so fierce and like Rainbow, I know she has a heart of gold in her somewhere while being so active and strong all the time.” My brightness at talking about her was taken down by the sadness that she was going away. “I’m just too… meek. I want to talk to her, but she probably wouldn’t like me on the principle of me being me. She gets pretty rowdy and is aggressively territorial about Rainbow.”

“There are plenty of nicer sounding people out there you could possibly have a crush on. I’m sure you will find someone more suited to you eventually, or maybe you might eventually get Gilda to notice you as you are.” Thanks for the vote of confidence Jacky, I’m not exactly confident in myself about that. “You’re a sweet, caring and kind pony Fluttershy, don’t pine away on missed opportunities. Keep pushing forward and find a suitable dream for yourself to pursue, make finding a special someone secondary until you’re ready for that to become a primary focus.”

“That’s a pretty sound idea, I’m already working towards learning all kinds of things about animals and I eventually want to run an animal sanctuary!” It would be my dream job, well on top of being an animal caretaker that is. I really loved my special talent, talking to animals is always so fun. “I need some time to think about this. Could you get Jade for me? I need to ask her something important.”

Jacky was right. Once I finally got my dream going, then I can actively focus on finding someone special to share it with.

Rainbow wouldn’t be interested, she’s only focused on weather managing and the Wonder Bolts almost exclusively. She’d be so busy training, traveling and practicing, she wouldn’t be around to help me very much and I wouldn’t want to get in the way of her pursuing her dreams. Rainbow was a very pretty pegasus though, I could watch her exercise all day despite her having a very colt like nature.

Pinkie Pie is mostly interested in sugar, food and making ponies happy, she’s far too excitable and not exactly what I’d call an animal loving pony. She’s more likely to spook dangerous reactions from animals. Still, she looked quite cuddly like a fluffy tiny ewe and even seemed to be happiness personified, but again she was a bit too much for me. At least I’m friends with someone who is cute with a nice flank to match.

Jade would be nice, but she’s already got two partners and I wouldn’t want to intrude on their relationships. She’s cunning and cute like a fluffy fox and knows a lot about myths, monsters, legends and various other strange things in this world, but she was far too adventurous for my tastes.

Plus there’s the thing about Jade being mentally challenging, I don’t know if she’s insanely intelligent or just chronically crazy. She is, beyond my own disbelief, going to start dating the very chimera that attacked her not long after we first met. Not to mention she’s already been on a really odd sounding date with Fizzle, dealing with assassins and salamanders did not sound like a very pleasant time to me.

Maries was nice, but very confusing when they almost always have three opinions to give on anything. Usually following the order of aggressive, defensive and inquisitive. I don’t think I’d ever want or even have the courage to date a chimera, especially not one that seriously threatened to eat me once upon a time.

Fizzle, the mare I was here for today, was very unusual. She tended to brood, was quiet and sometimes sarcastic, but I can tell she was a really great friend, very intelligent and even compassionate about things. Nothing puts a smile on her face faster than Jade’s antics or the mentioned Abyssinian getting affectionate with her. I was not about to ruin what made Fizzle happy, but maybe we could talk about our shared feelings towards mares or other being of a feminine persuasion.

If we were to discuss something like that, well I would say that I tended to like slightly masculine girls personally. Don’t know how Fizzle can handle the crazy Jade brings to the table like making Maries become lawyers despite their age with some rather obscure and possibly inane laws. Rainbow, Gilda and Jade all shared a trait of being aggressive, masculine and still beautiful in their own unique ways.

Just because I had a taste for masculine ladies, doesn’t mean I don’t like those of a beautiful or prettier persuasion. I would hardly say no to thinking about a beautiful ageless mare like Celestia when I’m older. Speaking of ageless beings that were majestic, there was also Sekhet.

Sekhet was seemingly friendly and kind, I honestly didn’t understand how she could be considered a goddess of war after getting to know her through my various visits. Jade confirmed that Sekhet could and has beaten entire armies into the ground by herself without help and I’d believe it, but it was so hard to compare that to her smiling face while she watches everyone else go about their day from the shadows. She seems really lonely sometimes, I wondered if there was ever someone out there for her?

“Hey, are you there Cutie? Hello!” My vision was suddenly taken up by Jade, once I realized I was being called out to and having a claw snapped above my ears. I yelped and fell backwards hitting the floor with a squeak. My wings were spread wide in embarrassment as I looked up at the smiling cat through my hair. “Jacky said you needed something?”

“Yes, I wanted to call in that favor you owe me Jade.” After helping me up and back into my seat, Jade sat down next to me and rested her head lazily on the table. “Sorry about bringing this to you today when it’s Fizzlepop’s birthday.”

“What did you need Fluttershy? I’ve got nothing to do until Fizzle wakes up, she’s busy cuddling the gift Maries got for her.” She started laughing about something and I gave her a confused look. “Don’t mind me Cutie. I just think it’s funny that Maries got her a body pillow with fake cat ears. Apparently we’re okay for mail ordering things around here without question, despite not actually having a post office yet. I don’t honestly know how that works or how they did it, but I’m curious to find out their mailing methods. Unless Maries just walked into Ponyville, but I haven’t heard of a riot happening.”

“Well the favor I need is actually you helping me with a pretty big thing… also it’s really dangerous.” I wondered why that made her perk up in interest. It’s only now that I remember that Jade might have an adrenaline problem, at least she’s smart about the danger she gets into and prepares accordingly. “Um…”

“Go on, I’m listening.” Well Jade was offering her help, how much trouble could she cause?

“A few days from now, I need your help getting a relatively large colony of lemmings to a forest in the south eastern portion of equestria.” Please don’t ask too many questions about how difficult this will be. “It would be nice if you and several other people here could help with driving them in that given direction.”

“How smart exactly are these lemmings?” Not the worst question you could ask Jade, but it was up there and it made me wince. “You can talk with them right?”

“Yes, I understand what they say, but… well they’re not quite smart.” Which is not something I’d normally say about any animal, but these particular lemmings were definitely intelligence challenged compared to all the other furry critters I loved and was becoming friends with.

“Rephrasing my previous question, how dumb are they?” Why are you so focused on their intelligence Jade? Okay yes, there was an absolutely good reason for you to focus on that, but you picked this up far faster than most ponies would have and was actively expecting something to be wrong with them.

“They’re complete idiots in the fact that they beat out Rainbow Dash for the definition of densest things alive.” Makes me wonder when Rainbow will eventually figure out why I watch her so much, I checked out her flanks quite frequently and she doesn’t think much of it. I think she may have missed the week that pony sexuality education was taught in school for growing ponies about to enter their teenage years. “They’re so dumb they run towards predators and try to jump into their mouths! It got to the point that they nearly choked a poor wolf to death. They are so stupid that they hug porcupines and after they get hurt, they just hug the porcupine again! I admit I love little, cute and cuddly creatures, but there’s a certain level of intellect that I expect from animals before even I can’t tolerate them any longer. I have my limits!”

“Well that sounds like fun and of course I’ll help you with it, but you’re going to need to convince at least two other people other than Fizzle to help you.” Well that was a relief to hear Jade, I was actually understating how dumb the lemmings really were.

“I am coming on this adventure, so you only need to convince one more to come.” Sekhet surprised us both when she said that, we didn’t expect her to even want to join in on an adventure. Guess she wanted to get out more and stretch her legs.

“What the buck… Jade!” Wow, that was really loud and Fizzle sounds kind of upset.

We turned to ask Jade what she was going to do, only she had quickly disappeared.

Chapter Fourteen, Oh Goddess Why: Good times.

-Fizzle-

We were on our way back to The Witch’s Fare after I had managed to catch up to a running Jade.

“Three quick questions Fizzle. One how did you know which direction I ran in? Two how did you catch up to me?” Those were questions I could easily answer Jade and if you thought about it, then you would already know the answer to them too. “And three… where did you even get the magical alchemy proof rope from?”

I paused and looked at Jade, she was currently laid across my back and tied up with rope. I… honestly didn’t know where the rope came from, I just had it on me when I finally caught up to her. That was a really good question, where did I get the rope that’s impervious to casting destruction from? I shook my head and continued onwards towards The Witch’s Fare.

“In answer to your first question. This is my thought process… ‘gee’ I’m such a smart cat, what’s the direction that Fizzle would never think I’d run in, especially the most dangerous place I could be physically running towards!” It wasn’t hard for me to guess she was running towards Barely Bearable Woods, which seemed like something she’d do to try and outsmart me. After the wake up I got, I was too angry to not be snuggling my fluffy cat to notice anything else aside from the fact that the door to The Witch’s Fare was wide open. “It didn’t take me two seconds to figure that out Jade, as for how I caught up. I believe in the power of anger, also not waking up to nuzzle you might have had something to do with that. You should already know that ponies can run fast when scared and even faster than that when angry!”

“Yes, I understand that. Apparently you don’t appreciate Maries’ gift of that body pillow.” Her words made me pause and consider the thing I woke up cuddling. “That’s not very nice, I thought you liked Mara, Maria and Marie.”

“I do and it was a thoughtful thing for them to get me that doesn’t require or force you to be in my bed.” I sent her a look. “That said, when I wake up and know you were in my bed the night prior, I at least expect you to still be there. You know I have abandonment issues Jade, it’s why I couldn’t abandon you when you upset me by forcing me to beat the tar out of you. I felt like I was in the wrong in that situation despite you setting it up!”

Things hadn’t turned out so badly and I’m more included in the community, people actually come to me for things and not just you or Jacky who are specialized in doing things. In particular Jade was specialized in fish scaling and menial chores that Fresh Start could be doing. Jacky was a savant and connoisseur of ships, she knew how to maintain many things. What did I have in comparison aside from a gimmick, raw uncontrolled magic and dreams of making something of myself? I would say a family that cares about me, but I’m talking things I can do to be helpful daily.

“In this situation I am definitely in the wrong for setting up something else that you may or may not have missed on the way out the door. Still, you haven’t explained the rope yet.” She wiggled violently on my back and sighed loudly, she was having problems getting at her knife to slice away the ropes and I wasn’t about to let her go free. Not if she’s dead set on running into drop bear territory, she is quite serious sometimes about getting me worried about her. “I can’t partial cast it away like I do with most things.”

“I haven’t the foggiest where I got the rope from, but I think it might belong to Arizona.” That would only make some sense to me, it made about as much sense as the cows and their cow bells do. I started past Jade’s never dying fire to open the door to The Witch’s Fare.

“Fizzle there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you…” Stopping to hear what Jade would say, I quirked my head to her. She smiled at me. “I can wait to tell you inside.”

“Why can’t you do it out here?” Shaking my head at my friend and special some cat being weird, I opened the door and walked it.

“Surprise, happy birthday Fizzlepop!” Admittedly being hit by several voices at once made my horn flare, but after a moment I managed to get the magic under control and pulled it back within myself.

It was a birthday party… for me? I… wow… how did I not notice that stuff leaving the building? Wait, one of those voices had been Jade’s.

“See mom, I told you I could give you enough time to finish setting everything up and that she wouldn’t notice on the way out the door!” Darn it Jade, would you stop doing distracting things and planning around people including me!

Oh sure, it was cute the first few times you crazy rogue, but getting away with a large gold heist with only barely a slap on the wrist was just plain ridiculous to the point it was blatantly absurd. Now you do it to me to give me a birthday party? Actually that was kind of touching and sweet of you. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had a birthday party, didn’t have one last year at any rate.

“Come on birthday pony. What’s on the agenda, it’s your day today!” Pinkie threw a hoof around my withers and gave me a tight squeeze, she really needed to learn that boundaries existed for a reason. “Do we start with cake, presents or lunch?”

“Was Celestia invited to this party?” I dryly asked.

“Nope, we figured there wouldn’t be any cake left for you if she came to the party at all, at least Sekhet is willing to share!” Pinkie turned to the goddess with a smile and Sekhet just rolled her eyes in a droll manner. Sekhet, you are my role model and I would not let anyone tell me anything different. “Isn’t that right Sekky?”

“Yes wall breaker, I know not to steal the cake before the one it was meant for gets the very first slice.” At least you had that going for you Sekhet, Celestia has no excuse for when she shows up out of the blue to steal our pies, cakes and pastries before we can even get to taste them. I think that’s why Celestia is letting us keep the gold we stole, she’s practically bribing us to not say anything about her uncontrolled snacking habits. “Why that’s just bad manners for a goddess to exhibit and I would not want to be like Celestia, incapable of controlling my deepest and darkest of urges for the cream cheese cake made for the likes of gods.”

My ears perked up, did she just say cream cheese cake?

-An hour later-

Delicious sweet tasty cake, started with a slice and ended with a slice. Now I guess it was time for me to open my presents. I’m quite curious as to what Jade could have gotten me, I was enjoying everything so far.

All my friends from Pinkie’s sisters, to Fluttershy came here just for me. I guess Rainbow Dash didn’t get an invite. I could kind of guess why that is, especially if Jade and mom were in control of the guest list.

“So… presents?” I asked amiably, I had no idea what any of them could have gotten me. I didn’t want for much more than acknowledgement.

I seriously doubt the silent assassin got me anything, she was still tied to the chair after all. Right now she was wearing a festive party hat and had a party blower in her mouth with a bit of frosting lining her lips. Even she got a taste of that cake as our favorite resident captured assassin that we weren’t about to let go any time soon.

I wonder how long it would take before Kurilian got to her or even Airship Mauled itself caused her to lose her taste for wanting to kill Jade. Stranger things have happened.

“Say a name and we’ll get it from the pile for you Fizzy… also could someone untie me?” Oh right, we did kind of forget to untie Jade once I brought her back. “Eating with my face might have been funny to start with, but these ropes really chafe a lot and everyone here is being rather cruel and unusual to me!”

“Yeah, because you would have eaten more than half the cake if we let you go.” After saying that Arizona got to work on freeing Jade. “Mom… I mean Kuril…. damn it now you’ve got me calling her mom! Anyway, Kuril only made enough for everyone to have two slices and we took care of the only greedy problem left.”

Jade didn’t defend herself.

“Would anyone here hate me if I suddenly decided to change my name to Mom?” Kuril, you were without a doubt impossible to hate and were a very good mother, Jade notwithstanding in those thoughts.

“Yes.” That’s not the general consensus Jade.

“You’re no fun my kitten.” Mom crossed her arms with a huff and looked away smiling.

“Continue untying Jade, so I can get her present.” My statement was made with a calm and clear mind, Arizona nodded and continued to work at the knots keeping Jade trapped.

“But things are staying so quiet with Captain being incapable of doing anything!” Yes, Jacky, we all know that freeing Jade from those ropes would lead to more shenanigans, but we couldn’t keep her tied up forever. It would get boring after a few days without her being able to do something odd. “Do we really have to free her?”

“You’re a mutinous swine Jacky.” The green haired cat received a smiling beak filled with cheek.

“No, I’m a mutinous parrot you fat gluttonous cow.” To everyone’s mild surprise, Jacky’s words didn’t cause either Grace or Arizona to react negatively. “Don’t worry, I’ll side with you again at a later date Captain, I am as loyal as they come… except on Fizzle’s special day.”

“Yeah, listen to the motor beak, she can power an entire airship by just talking it into the air.” Ah Limestone Pie was joining in on the ribbing with a sarcastic look upon her grey face that usually only had two looks, angry and angrier. She had a rough exterior with a golden inner core just like me, at least I thought she had a golden inner core…

Still, Limestone’s a pretty cool friend along with her sister and Marble Cheesecake Pie who is almost exactly like Fluttershy except she hardly ever talks and just likes to hum in a friendly manner when addressed.

Said ribbing had better end soon or else I would get upset.

As soon as Jade was free, she worked out the stiffness in her arms and legs and went off to go grab my present.

“It is so nice to hear that everyone is getting along so well, I can feel all the happy energy in the room.” Clapping her hooves together and talking like an angel was the ever friendly Grace. There were reasons we thought she lived in a different time zone from us, this was one of them.

“You too, I thought it was just me!” Scratch that, Pinkie was worse than Grace and always in another universe altogether.

“I’m not always in another universe though!” For some reason Pinkie was receiving a very odd stare from Sekhet for that comment. Wait a minute… did she just read my… “Nope, I certainly did not read your mind, that sort of thing belongs to a different Pinkie Pie entirely. I’m definitely the Airship Mauled nearly base level Pinkie Pie. Twilight’s Mane Passion Pinkie was too busy today to do the joke and who really knows what dimension Underworld Frisk Pinkie Pie is in today since I couldn’t get in contact with her.”

“It is best to not question her about what she means Lady Berrytwist.” Seriously Sekhet, I wasn’t going to anyway as Pinkie always said some really odd things that are better left alone and are not to be pursued.

All conversations stopped when Jade came back and kneeled before me before presenting a small gift wrapped box. I tenderly took it in hoof from the two hands that held it up to me reverently with a bowed head, I rolled my eyes at the dramatic tension Jade was trying to build.

“Can we tie her back up?” Tempting Arizona, very tempting. “She’s being stupidly dramatic.”

“Highly tempting, but no.” I started to open the packaging. Yellow ribbon, green wrapping paper, Jade’s usual colors that fit her theme of lemon and lime. “Though we might have to if she actually does something stupid.”

“My princess wounds me, and so cruelly at that!” She smiled at my indifference, I could feel a tug at my lips. Darn it Jade, stop being so annoying and cute! “Why I would never think of doing more than five virtuous things to upset her at a later date.”

“Do you want to be tied up again?” Not receiving an answer, I opened my present and looked at what was inside. I blinked in wide eyed awe, I reached into the packaged and opened the object.

It was a silvery white golden heart shaped locket, inside was a picture of Maries, Jade, Jacky and Mom on one side and on the other was me alone. Above my face was the word ‘you’ and below it was ‘close’. Their picture had the words ‘family’ above and ‘together’ below. I close the locket and I’d be together with my family figuratively… and when it was open I can see myself and my family waiting for me to get ‘close together’. A few tears came to my eyes and I wiped them away

“Upsetting thing number one, letting her know she can’t be replaced in our hearts!” Okay Jade, your current chivalrous accent was highly annoying, so you are kind of asking for it. “Sentimentality is always a good way to upset someone with happiness!”

“Tie her up.” My words were flat, but my eyes were moist and glued to the object and the string.

“No, wait… I’ll be good… I swear!” Really, you weren’t going to dig yourself further into the ground today Jade? That doesn’t sound like you. “At least as soon as I can figure out whether or not dropping a thoroughly provoked Taweret on Sekhet would be a bad idea or a funny one while making a joke about denial.”

“It’d be both Jade.” Never mind, I’m quite sure that definitely sounded like you. “Wait… who’s Taweret?”

“Somebody I’d rather not see ever again, she’s even worse than my sister.” Hugging herself, Sekhet shivered quite violently. “Do not use her on me Priest Jade, because my retaliation will be quite judicious.”

“Okay, what you have right there FIzzle is an electrum locket, which is practically indestructible after I sustained it.” Jade likely knew what that did, but she wasn’t going to tell me. I’d check the magical alchemy list later.

For the rest of the day, good times were had.

Author's Notes:

(New Alchemy Ingredient!)

26. Electrum Locket.

Chapter Fourteen, Oh Goddess Why: Bad times.

-Several days later, Jade-

This place was like a personalized lemming sanctuary, only it seems to have been in place for quite a while and it was quite a bit south of Manehatten. This sanctuary was meant to cater to many different animals, it has only had the recent problem of having to house thousands of lemmings. The place cramped full of the little annoying things, I’m actually surprised that the lemmings actually stayed within the fenced area.

Oh sure, this couldn’t turn out that horribly. Lemmings are fluffy little rodents that attracted predators, all kinds of monsters and many other things. That happens when they are being herded, Just like what we’re about to do.

I ignored my urge to eat a lemming to see what it tasted like, even if no one would miss one.

“When you said help you needed help with lemmings, I didn’t think you meant this many Fluttershy.” One would have assumed a few loads of caged up furry creatures to transport in The Ardent Survivor, that’s what I thought we would be doing. No… we had to apparently do this the hard way and on foot by herding thousands of lemmings to a far off southeastern forest. “Are we really going to do this?”

“I’m right there with you Jade, this does not seem like it is not going to end well.” Fizzle was being aggravated by the lemmings currently crawling all over her. She was constantly shaking them off of herself. “This is going to take a miracle to pull off, especially if they’re as dumb as you say they all are Fluttershy.”

“How many did you exactly say you wanted us to keep alive by the end of all this?” Intoned Sekhet watching as a lemming leapt from the tree and was saved from injury by the fourth member of our party diving to catch it. The alicorn sized Sekhet lazily flicked a lemming off of her nose. “I swear mortal maiden, this is a grand task that sounds incredibly difficult from the start. Even for someone of my lofty prowess.”

“Why did I agree to this again?” Don’t whine about this so much Cheerilee, you wanted to come here with us to this… what exactly was this place called anyway? Teach lowered the lemming she caught to the ground and watched it scamper off in an exuberant aimless manner.
“Well Fluttershy asked you nicely, you thought you could help me with my minor dyscalculia problem while we do this and you wanted to get an idea of what a field trip with a class would be like.” Now to just jab the knife in a little further, because I’m odd like that. “Plus you wanted to involve yourself on an adventure with me, which is a pretty bad idea all around considering the stuff I get myself and others up to.”

“I want all the lemmings to survive by the end of this Sekhet, yes we are going to do this Jade and I still want to help them Fizzle. I don’t care that they’re not really all that bright like all the other animals I can talk to.” Well look at you Fluttershy, only a few more years before you became your canon self and you were already this brave… mostly only for your friends though. Any random stranger that walks up will still make you fall over and squeak like a fainting goat. “I know it might be trying, but I think things will turn out okay if we all work together!”

“Can you be a little more realistic here Fluttershy? I mean, did you even check the names of the places we’re going into before you ask us to do this?” With places like ‘Raging Reptile Ridge’ and ‘Serpent Strath Path’, one could only guess the number of monster’s we’d have to fight on the way to the south eastern forest we needed to ditch all the lemmings at. I was already guessing at several different kinds of trouble mentally at this moment. “It is very unlikely that all of these cute little critters are going to survive the trip. Despite the fact that I come off as a miracle worker, I am in fact not. I am also not perfect. Is anyone else going to be involved in this or is it just us for all of this?”

“Not really no, I didn’t check the locations we need to go through. I volunteered to help with the lemming moving effort. I just didn’t think it would be this problematic, I was hoping that at least some pony aside from all of you would want to help with this. They are all already writing this off as a lost cause.” So you were having us do this out of the kindness of your heart, which was typical and highly sweet of Fluttershy. Now if only that didn’t drastically endanger our lives. “I don’t really care much for being realistic if it means that all these poor little lemmings have help getting to where they need to be. You were my first choice to turn to for doing very difficult things Jade, you’re very good at that. Sadly it is up to the just the five of us to handle these lemmings, the owners of this sanctuary need all the help they can get to repair all the damage the lemmings caused. ”

“Why thank you for thinking highly of me, so are you going to be the leader of expedition Fluttershy?” Plucking a climbing lemming off my leg and chucking it back into the sea of rodents, I turned to Fluttershy who gave me a sheepish grin that just made me sigh audibly. “You don’t actually want to be the leader of this expedition do you?”

“No, but I still want to be a large part of it and I think I can at least direct the lemmings. I can lead in that respect.” Fluttershy started staring at me with her big quivering soulful eyes. “Please Jade, will you still help me despite how horrible this is all starting to sound?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t going to help. This is a really tall order Fluttershy and I’m more likely to prioritize our lives over that of the many numerous lemmings, just so you’re aware.” I turned from her to my best friend and potential life partner Fizzle, we needed a few more dates to see if we could even keep what we had going. “That said, Fizzle you’re the expedition leader and are the acting commander here. Think of what we need for this aside from antivenin for at least five different species of snake, seven medical kits and a wagon loaded with food and camping supplies.”

“I er… what?” Blinking at me in disbelief for putting her in charge, I moved over to her and patted her on the back gently while explaining her need to take a leadership role to show some independence.

-Three hours later, Raging Reptile Ridge, Fizzle-

I was surprised Jade put me in charge, but I guess she trusted me with this and I wouldn’t let her down. I was at the rear with Sekhet. To our left was a coast, to our right was the ridge and forward was the road southeast leading towards ‘Serpent Strath Path’.

I had Sekhet pulling the supply wagon and watching the back of the lemming swarm, she didn’t seem upset to be given the most menial job out of the lot of us. In fact, she seemed oddly happy to be watching the supplies.

Jade was worried about our route, but it’s the best one we could get from the sanctuary owners who were asking for help with moving this ridiculous number of lemmings. She was at the far right of the herd making sure that none of the lemmings ran off in an unusual direction.

On the far left of the herd and interested in the ramifications of moving this many lemmings all at once was Cheerilee. She had given us all several logical reasons why we should have made several trips with The Ardent Survivor.

I for one had figured out the ramifications, we were removing the lemming population from the area because they were attracting predators to the nearby city of Manehatten. The number of lemmings we were dealing with were just as much a problem as was the monsters we might run into, plus there was the fact that Fluttershy wanted to help them all when it wasn’t very feasible to do so.

Fluttershy was at the front of the lemming herd and was trying to direct them, keyword being ‘trying’. Apparently the lemmings were like caffeinated fillies and colts, their attentions spans were shorter than goldfish and they kept trying to go everywhere. As such we couldn’t go in a straight line and we had a large snaking line of lemmings moving across the dusty trail. We really should have brought Arizona along for her expertise.

I’m surprised we even made it to ‘Raging Reptile Ridge’ without any really big… thought to soon. What are those snakes and what are they doing? Trouble just found us, but it didn’t seem very big or threatening. They were coming from up on the ridge to our right.

“Jade, what are snakes that roll by grabbing onto own their tails?!” I turned to Jade because she was the resident monster expert, despite Fluttershy studying animals and slowly becoming as much an expert as she was.

“Hoop snakes, a snake that gets around by rolling its entire body like a giant wheel!” Yes, that is currently what Jade was describing as a number of them started rolling down the ridge towards our lemming convoy. “If they are coming right at you, then watch for their tail and move to the side! They’ll leap out of their rolling and try to spear you with their tails in a lightning fast manner and if they can’t spear you, then they’ll at least try to whip you. Keep your wits about you, because both their tails and their fangs are quite poisonous. They don’t need strong poisons when they usually kill their victims by stabbing them to death with their tails by turning their bodies into living spears.”

“Keep the herd moving Fluttershy, we’ll head them all off!” I got up from my seat and joined Jade on the right side. “Is there anything else we need to know about them?”

“Only that if you see a fat rolling snake, then it’s something much worse than a hoop snake and far more poisonous.” That didn’t inform me of what the creature you were talking about was Jade, but it did tell me I should avoid it all the same. “Also if it happens to be capable of talking, then don’t listen to anything it has to say and take it down quickly!”

Right, don’t let the talking snake talk, got it.

We turned to the numerous rolling snakes and Jade started to blast water at them knocking them out of their rolling. She only stopped seven before the others started to dodge her water blasts and were getting close to us, I tensed up next to Jade and readied a buck while looking over my left shoulder.

A green hoop snake suddenly launched itself out of its rolling and went ramrod straight while spinning around to point its sharp tipped tail straight for Jade’s heart. I bucked out and sent the stiffened snaked spinning into the air. When it came down, its tail actually sunk into the dirt like it was a freshly thrown spear.

Two more launched themselves at us and we dove to the side, I charged my horn and fired a zigzagging blast of magic that randomly bursts powerful at short intervals. I was a bit drained, but I had taken down ten of the hoops snakes that weren’t moving very well after getting electrically fried by my magic when it stopped and blasted outwards nailing quite a few of them. The wet hoop snakes were among those ten having attracted an amount of the energy to themselves.

The three snakes closest to us were loosening up and started to flail their tails at us, we back away from them carefully trying not to be lashed by them.

“Jade, provide some water so that I can fry the rest of them!” She did as I asked, maybe leadership isn’t so hard after all. Unfortunately we only got four snakes when I touched my horn to the puddle of water near my hooves.

Still they kept coming at us and one managed to nick one of my legs before I managed to knock it out. I ducked a spear shaped snake as it flew over my head and bucked at a wheel trying to get by us and towards the lemmings.

Rolling to my right, I narrowly avoided taking two arcing snake tails in my side. I wondered what it would take to get these snakes to leave us alone. Why was my vision going all blurry? Oh great, I’ve been poisoned. Judging by the yelping sound, so has Jade.

I moved to the side and grabbed the by the neck and swung it around to start whipping at the other snakes making them back off of Jade and me. I was using a snake as a whip... this was something I would have expected of Jade. I guess she was rubbing off on me in more ways than one.

I swung the snake outward snapping its tail to wrap around another hoop snake. I then swung it around twice and let go of the snake I was holding sending them both flying.

Several rolling hoop snakes gathered together. They launched high up in the air and flicked their tails around to come down on us.

“I think it’s time to go Jade, the convoy has moved far enough that we don’t need to stick around!” I stumbled a bit as I dodged a falling spear, after that I turned and started running. We needed some antivenin from the supply wagon, as a snake managed to bite me in my right hind leg, I kicked it off and kept going.

“Well excuse me if I’m a little busy avoiding being skewered to run!” Jade dodged around another hoop snakes attempt to spear her and she started following after me. “Did you get scratched? We’re going to need that antivenin and soon.”

Jade ducked under a hoop snake that launched itself into a high arc and tried to come down on her spine tail first. I had to dodge one that almost rammed its sharp tail into my butt due to my inattention.

“Yeah, no kidding!” I witnessed Jade trip and saw one of the hoop snakes slithering for her neck, it reared up opened its mouth and lunged forward.

It stopped a centimeter from her neck, now standing on its tail I slammed my right hoof into the back of its head. I took a glance at all the cuts and scrapes Jade was covered in and quickly got her on my back and continued for the convoy.

I stopped for a second to fire a shower of sparks from my horn that made the rolling snakes back off. I soon got to the convoy where Cheerilee was waiting to apply the antivenin to us.

This was a pretty bad start for our journey... and it only got worse.

Author's Notes:

Okay I can't keep doing this for much longer... I might have to take a week off from writing entirely.

Chapter Fourteen, Oh Goddess Why: Worse times.

-Fluttershy-

I had to stop the convoy once we were far enough away from the attacking hoop snakes, I flew back to the wagon and saw my friends looked a little under the weather.

“Are the both of you okay?” I was so worried when Fizzle and Jade started getting medical aid from Cheerilee.

“Define okay, they were able to hit me even when I'm sustaining my knife. Got to hand, paw or hoof it to you Cheerilee, you have some hidden depths.” Jade sat up, she was covered in scratches that looked to be covered in some kind of gel. “Cheerilee was immediately ready with the antivenin when we got back and patched us up quickly.”

“Could be better, took a bite to one of my rear legs.” It looked a bit swollen, oh dear I hoped Fizzle didn’t have problems walking. “Teach, where did you learn to do this stuff?”

“Well if I couldn’t get a teaching career going, then I would have gone into some form of pediatrics… most likely a pediatric nurse. So I know quite a bit about first aid.” That’s nice Cheerilee, maybe I could learn a thing or two from you. I watched as Cheerilee got the swelling on Fizzle’s leg to go down. “Fillies and colts can get a bit reckless at times and hurt themselves, so I’m always prepared to help an injured filly or colt. The swelling should go away soon Fizzle, which is good for us. Since aside from Sekhet, you two are the only ones that can really fight.”

“So how long can you keep the lemmings sitting still for Fluttershy?” When Jade asked that my mind blanked for a moment, oh dear…

I shot out of the wagon to start gathering the lemmings up before they could scatter too far.

-Five minutes later, Fizzle-

Thankfully Fluttershy managed to get all the lemmings back together before they wandered off too far, she started making them run a circle to give us time to rest. She was going to get pretty tired herself if she keeps this up. It wasn’t long before we were back on the trail towards the southeast and Jade was gulping down some chilled water to rehydrate from using her fish scale necklace.

I was back up on the wagon, Jade was resting in the back for a bit. Nobody was getting sick from their cuts and scrapes thanks to Cheerilee’s vigil. It was only another mile or two when we ran into another problem that made Fluttershy manipulate the lemmings into running in a circle.

“Jade, problem. Can you give me info on snakes with heads at both ends?” They looked kind of like little dragons somewhat. “They have two legs on something that reminds me of a chicken or a dragon’s body.”

“Do they have wings?” Upon Jade asking me that I looked more closely.

“No, no wings as far as I can see.” Looking to me were Cheerilee and Fluttershy, Sekhet looked to be sitting with a bored expression on her face as she checked the bottom of one of her paws.

“They’re Amphisbaena, two headed snakes that can come in several flavors. One is the most obvious, no limbs and just snake heads at both end. They come in a number of varieties including two legs, four legs, also with or without wings. Rarely do they ever have horns.” Now I needed to know, are they dangerous Jade? She must have read my glance. “They aren’t very threatening, but you should steer completely clear of them if you can help it. All amphisbaena are twice as poisonous compared to normal snakes even if only one head bites you. If one of them bites a lemming, it’s guaranteed to be dead in under a minute. We’ll last longer by at least ten if we didn’t have antivenin. If they’re small they’ll scare easily, which would be a lucky break for us.”

“Fluttershy, we need go around them! Cheerilee make some noise if they get too close and I’ll try to help scare them off.” The next ten or so minutes for me were harrowing as I had to force a few tens of lemmings back into the herd and running on my bit leg didn’t feel too good.

Jade was able to get back into things, while I rested she screamed and yowled at the two headed poisonous monsters keeping them away from our lemming drive. She even had to fire a magic missile at one that was getting too brave and tried to charge the mindless swarm of rodents we were moving along the trail.

“Well that wasn’t so… oh please don’t tell me that’s what I think it is!” Let’s see, Jade looks absolutely horrified about something to have made that kind of exclamation to go with her currently pale face.

Fluttershy was frantically forcing the lemmings into running in a large circle again, so what is it this time? I turned to look.

It was the largest snake that I think that I have ever seen in my entire life and my blood ran cold.

Yeah, that would definitely cause a panic.

-Jade-

That… was a basilisk. It was a big basilisk too! No wonder no other pony wanted to go on this trip. This is practically suicidal, but I promised Fluttershy I’d help. Well I better intercept it, because it was heading straight for the lemming swarm.

I started on my favorite magical alchemy sustain, the knife, and moved to intercept the creature. I quickly grabbed a rock from the ground and chucked it at its left eye. I drew its attention off of the lemmings and onto me.

“Get them moving Fluttershy!” I charged forward and slowed down a bit as the snake reared above me putting me in its shadow.

It inhaled… well I wasn’t dead from looking it in the eyes, but something was off about what this basilisk was doing. Those actions even seemed oddly familiar to me, it was as if I’ve done that multiple times before in an eerily similar manner.

Given its teal coloration and that it doesn’t kill on sight, or would it be by sight? Anyway it just causes massive mortal terror that I may as well just die from looking at it, I’d give a guess that it was about to…

The basilisk fired what looked like a solid white beam at the ground and started sending it right for me, I rolled to the side and watched it mulch all the dirt, rock, grass and everything else, leaving a fairly large ditch in its wake.

Since the ground around where the beam struck was now wet, its beam was made entirely out of water that had cut a distant boulder in half, it also converted a large portion of the ground for a few feet around into mud.

Okay, that was a bit horrific, basilisks are not supposed to be able to do that unless… you have got to be kidding me. A hydrokinetic basilisk! How does that even happen? I mean seriously, why in all that is holy is this a thing?!

In my inattention I was almost swallowed alive as it dived for me, it missed me as I darted out of the way pulling my knife and slashed its body as it dug into the ground. The knife did nothing to its thick scales, oh and it can burrow too… just great. I watched as its tail disappeared into the ground.

The ground around me began rumbling, I stumbled a bit and then things were quiet.

“Jade… don’t know about you… but I really think we should run now.” I turned to give Fizzle a flat look.

“You do realize I’m right here mortals… you don’t need to let the pride get the best of you.” There was a reason we weren’t asking Sekhet for help with this. If the goddess kept protecting us, then we would never learn to be strong on our own without her. “You can ask me for help, I won’t think less of you if you do. This just might be well above your ability to handle.”

“Yeah, I think it’s a little late for that Fizzle.” The ground underneath me started bulging upwards and lunged forward as a pair of jaws ripped out of the mud from beneath me. “Also Sekhet, just keep protecting the wagon!”

After the basilisk’s finished erupting from the ground, it started to slither in a circle around me. It had me swiftly surrounded. Not only did it spray beams of water, could burrow and was obviously venomous, it was also fast too.

I went to jump onto the back of the basilisk only for the tail to slap me back into the circle with a strike to the chest, okay this was problematic and painful. That... had definitely hurt. I was laying on my back in the mud being circled by the basilisk that opened its mouth and started to come down on me again.

I held up my left palm towards its open mouth and fired a magic missile right into it.

Its mouth closed in pain and its head diverted into ramming its own coils.

I quickly clambered up onto it and got out of the circle it made and after jumping off of it on the other side, I started making my way towards Fizzle. She was coming to me with a worried look as I clutched at my chest with my left arm.

“Are you okay Jade? You’re bleeding pretty badly there.” Sending Fizzle a confused look as she looked at me worriedly, I wondered what she was talking about.

“It only winded me Fizzle what do you, oh…” I looked at the blood seeping out from under my arm, how did the basilisk do that with its blunt tail? “Yeah, now that I notice that, I’m in far more pain than I previously thought I was.”

“Your stupidly high pain tolerance is getting in the way of you recognizing when you get hurt badly!” Fizzle sounded angrier at my pain tolerance than me, so I was okay with that. “It’s getting up… how are we supposed to stop that thing from chasing after the lemmings or us?”

The basilisk lifted its head and opened its mouth that was fizzling and frothing with bubbles as it inhaled through its nose. Fizzle grit her teeth and fired a blast of magic into its mouth where the resulted pulse of magic caused the basilisk’s head to flop onto the ground with a dazed look in its eyes.

“Shooting it in the mouth looks like it works.” Putting an arm around Fizzle’s neck as I stumbled a bit, we started moving away from the monster.

Hearing a noise, I looked back as it rose its head up. It shook away its slightly dazed look and turned to us with another roar. Only it got more horrifying when its scales popped out into sharp pointy blades all across its body including the ones on its tail that it had struck me with.

“Don’t know if that really did anything… other than make it mad I mean.” At least it looked mad to me and it started inhaling again.

We both continued moving towards the wagon as several white beams fired from the surrounding popped scales at many differing angles alongside the one solid directed beam from its mouth that chased after us.

“Why would nature make a creature that’s this lethal?!” Fizzle whined as we got close to the wagon. When the beam reached us, a barrier blocked it. “Thanks Sekhet!”

“No problem. It is a bit much to expect you to face a basilisk, but we can’t just leave it alone. We have to immobilize it or knock it out.” As Sekhet spoke, the basilisk dove into the muddy swamp it had formed with its high pressure beams of death, I could see it tunneling straight for us. “While it can’t kill me, its poison could still make me unable to assist you in surviving if it were to bite me.”

“Get on you two, start running Sekhet!” Whoa, Cheerilee is taking charge. “Fizzle move Jade over to me.”

I found myself forced in front of Cheerilee who moved my arm and removed my shirt and started tightly wrapping bandages around my chest.

“We won’t outrun that thing for long, just telling you so you know.” Even so Sekhet was pulling the entire wagon behind her at a good clip.

The entire wagon suddenly lifted up quickly before slamming back to the ground, it stayed intact and we were only missing one pony, a rather important pony.

“Fizzy!” I saw fizzle tumbling across the ground and the snake started to circle her with its bladed scales out. Annoyingly enough, I was pulled back by Cheerliee.

“I’m not letting you go out there, not in this state!” Cheerilee held me down, I couldn’t see the Fizzle in the snake’s folds. “I’ll go and…”

The snake lunged down, only for Fizzle to leap up and clamp onto its nose thrusting both her front hooves into its nostrils. It started shaking its head, opening and closing its mouth, just about anything to dislodge the pony from its face.

The basilisk turned away from the circle it made and tried to scrape Fizzle off on the ground. That’s when she pulled her hooves, covered in mucus, free of the giant snake and got off it.

There was a sharp look in Fizzle’s eyes, she seemed to be thinking of something. A small smirk crossed her face and she fired a small burst of magic. Despite the fact that it drained her, it apparently did what she wanted it to do. She had the attention of the basilisk on her and then she started running.

She ran a circle around the snake twice and then leapt onto it, leapt off and continued to run around with the basilisk’s head on her tail. She jumped on and off of the basilisk crisscrossing her path around it several more times.

We watched as Fizzle, covered in various bad cuts from jumping around on the bladed basilisk’s body, ran up to us to turn around and sit down. She calmly let the basilisk's mouth snap shut a foot from her face.

A slow smile crossed her face, she slowly turned around and bucked it in the snout with as much force as she could manage. Its head snapped backwards, but it didn’t seem to be hurt all too much by the powerful blow.

The basilisk looked quite surprised that it couldn’t get to Fizzle, maybe it should have paid better attention to what exactly Fizzle was doing when she was running it around.

The basilisk tried to inhale and fire a blast of water, only it started choking loudly and coughing up streams of water.

Fizzle’s movements had forced the basilisk to knot itself up. With its scales doing the sharp and pointy thing combined with the knot it tied itself into, it was now quite stuck.

“Let’s get out of here before it figures out how to untie itself.” After Fizzle got onto the wagon, she flopped onto her face and said one thing before passing out. “Jade... you need a bigger weapon.”

-Hours later-

We had made it out of ‘Raging Reptile Ridge’ alive, all of us were quite tired as we set up camp and the lemmings were digging into the ground for the night.

Author's Notes:

Planning a hiatus trip around July 13th - 19th.

May change my mind later, don't know for sure right now.

Chapter Fourteen, Oh Goddess Why: Stormy times.

-Jade-

“Serpent Strath Path… it’s going to be one of those days.” We were at a juncture between the two and several other locations. I was currently making breakfast for myself, I currently had a nice fried egg in a skillet. The only other being awake is Sekhet.

“It most certainly is Priest Jade. We will be following valley until the end, we will have to do it all in one go as there is not much food for the ones we’re moving anywhere in the valley. It is mostly exposed bedrock all the way through, aside from the edges of the shallow river.” Sekhet held a scaled fish on a stick over the flames of the campfire created this morning. Unlike my fire back in Airship Mauled, this campfire will actually die down without wood to burn. “We should be wary, I did some searching last night. I did not smell serpents or monsters of any sort, but what I did see may be worse.”

“So you went off in the middle of the night to do some scouting, I’m not surprised in the slightest.” I received an appraising look. “As a war goddess, you would know one of the most important things in a war is information. This is not a war, but it is helpful to know what we’re getting into… so what did you see Sekhet?”

“Nothing alive and blackened ground in many spots everywhere, there is something frighteningly wrong and unnatural about where we’re going.” Witnessing Sekhet shiver had me shivering in response. “Life will and has always found a way to survive even the harshest of conditions, but there… life is being crushed, scared or is being actively kept from the valley somehow.”

“Whatever it is, it’s something we’re going to run into inevitably.” Sliding my fried egg onto a plate where there was already a cooling skillet baked fish waiting for me, I was getting a jump start on the day because we were going to be busy once all those lemmings woke up. They were practically impossible to direct without Fluttershy who looked exhausted after flying so much yesterday. “After that basilisk attack yesterday, I won’t be surprised at all the crazy kinds of serpents we could possibly run into after Raging Reptile Ridge. I’m kind of glad that the alligators didn’t notice us.”

“Yes, I’m quite surprised the ponies didn’t notice them, goes to show that you were certainly alert at all times yesterday.” Sekhet bit into her charred fish and chewed it looking off into the distance. “You were not apparently as good enough on your reflexes though, even with the assistance of your magical alchemy. I want you to let me check your injuries, while Cheerilee is competent at what she does I want to be a second opinion on them.”

Sighing I acquiesce to her request and pulled my shirt off and continued eating. She quickly finished her fish and came over to me to start to poking and prodding me with her alicorn sized paws. I winced when she poked the bandages around my chest, but I still swallowed the bit of egg I had been chewing.

“You and Fizzle are strong at heart, but your bodies will need more time than we can give them before we begin moving today.” The eight hours of sleep said otherwise Sekhet, I’m sure I could distract another basilisk. Surviving said distraction would be a bit iffy for me though. “Unlike me, neither of you are immortal nor are you invincible. Whether either of you like it or not, I will be assisting you in any capacity necessary with the next thing that shows up. Still… it is nice to see that my physical education classes are paying off.”

“Is it lonely to be a goddess?” I hardly ever got the time to talk to Sekhet like this, so I asked a simple question.

“It is like nothing you will ever need experience Jade, it can be impossibly lonely.” Well that was a somber mood for such a powerful goddess like you Sekhet. “The other side of the coin is that I can make friends infinitely, as I have all the time in the world to do so with. I can forever gain and lose friends in equal measure, but gaining friends means the pain of seeing them waste away or dying. Even so, the effort might always be worth it. I do not need to worry so hard about surviving, what I need to worry about is keeping my mind sharp and keeping with the times as they are. For years can pass me by in but a single blink, the only thing that slows time down for me is interacting with mortals in any capacity.”

“Like you’re doing right now?” I asked and Sekhet only sent me a smile with no teeth showing. “I don’t see you as invincible, only highly improbable to kill permanently. I know a few legends of things that can slay an immortal or force them to reincarnate, even pass their powers onto others whether they are worthy or not. Would you say things like that don’t exist?”

“Oh I can say things like that definitely exist, though mortals don’t necessarily make things like that on their own or by complete accident.” Sending Sekhet a look as she held out my shirt to me, I put it back on and waited for her to speak. “You’ll be fine, just don’t take any hits to the chest today. Things are hardly coincidental in this world, if one being pushes the balance too much then something will happen to fix that balance.”

“Too much blinding light and darkness sprouts from it to become a living shadow, usually with evil or misguided intent. Too much darkness in the world and heroes will eventually be found to face the unknown with bright hearts.” I lean back and take in a deep breath. I released a sigh as I stared at the cloudless blue sky. “Not much of a coincidence, just the scales tipping constantly and never fully committing one way or the other. In essence you’d be right, but there are some extreme ways to fix the balance that would mean destroying most of the world to do it. That’s something we should all avoid, no matter what.”

“Surprisingly wise of you to acknowledge, I am a war goddess that promotes the ideals of peace.” What Sekhet said made me snort loudly. “Do not scoff, peace is just a lot of preparation time for the next war or a coming storm. Ponies are never ready for any war that starts near them, they are always at a disadvantage there and do so little to prevent coming calamities that could have been avoided had they paid a little attention to the world around them.”

“You’re not wrong Sekhet, but ponies have survived the last thousand years on mostly peace. Too much peace without preparing for any future dangers, much less past ones returning, is always a recipe for disaster in my personal opinion. Though you have to admit, ponies have made it work out for the most part.” I looked towards the tent where Fizzle slept, I seriously doubted she would ever become Tempest now. “Ponies should always learn from their mistakes, but in general they don’t most of the time and quickly forget. When they forget, it usually comes back to seriously bite them. It takes at least a few anvils to the head to hammer an important point in with most, but not all, ponies. I’m going to go wake Fizzle and Fluttershy so they can eat, hopefully before the lemmings start stirring up a huge mess.”

“Have you ever learned from your own mistakes?” Sekhet’s words made me pause on my way to Fizzle’s tent and turn back to her.

“I have learned much from watching other people make mistakes so that I can try and avoid making the same ones myself.” I continued into the tent with a few parting words for Sekhet to think on. “I will still make mistakes, but that mostly comes with doing what I feel is right. I can and will be in the wrong, but only if I’m caught and called out on doing said wrong with evidence to back it up.”

-Fizzle, two hours later-

This was quite ominous, even if the lemmings seemed happy and were moving forward after having come out of the ground in droves. I doubted they even noticed how still the air around here felt, we were almost halfway into Serpent Strath Path and nothing had happened. We didn’t see any signs of movement aside from the hoard of lemmings Fluttershy was directing with her animal expertise.

I had gotten into an argument with Jade after I ate breakfast and we were silently contemplating what the other said. We had made arguments about whether or not we were healthy enough to fight. Jade took a pretty bad blow to the chest and I wasn’t any better after the basilisk cut me up with its scales.

We had both been poisoned, cut up and battered. The only thing left for us was to be deep fried and served with a side of sauce. Maybe I should learn to make something, both mom and Jade could cook. Jacky knew how to forage and so did I as well, I just wasn’t as good as the luck challenged parrot.

Jade promised Fluttershy she’d do her a favor. The size of this favor was enormous beyond belief, so what exactly were we getting from doing all of this? Were we supposed to feel a sense of accomplishment as our prize for the wringer we got put through yesterday? I felt like Fluttershy owed us for all the stuff we’re going through for a bunch of nearly mindless rodents that’ll die within the next two years.

I admit that our friendships were strong, but doing all this with very little payoff was rubbing me the wrong way. I assumed the reason why it didn’t rub Jade the wrong way is because she was likely honor bound to see this through to the end for Fluttershy.

Sighing, I wondered why Jade always insisted on endangering herself. I was okay when she endangered herself on the royal guards, mostly because they couldn’t fight their way out of a paper sacks and ponies in general were not overly confrontational.

I however am different in that aspect, I actually confronted Jade about her injuries and she confronted me about my own. We were both pretty poor off and we had talked it out, we agreed that we were both pretty bad and that settled it.

“Fizzle… I would like to apologize for putting you in so much danger by asking you to come on this trip.” What… really Jade? I just can’t believe you sometimes.

“I chose to come and put myself in danger, it’s you that I’m worried about.” I turned to Jade who was resting behind me. “What exactly are we getting out of all of this?”

“Several things really. Life experiences, helping a friend, learning how to survive or fight deadly monsters and references for reliability as mercenaries. We are also making connections, learning about places and are possibly even airing out some psychological baggage while we’re at it.” Here Jade smiled at me warmly, it made my heart flutter a bit. “You specifically learned a thing or two about pitching a tent, how to start a fire with two pieces of wood and many other things like how to lead a team. Learning experiences are to always be cherished Fizzle, because If you don’t then you might not be able to handle similar situations later. The one who helped you learn might not be there later to provide that assistance.”

I heard a noise, my ears twitched… I looked up at the sky and saw roiling clouds.

“Looks like rain. That’s just what we need, a ton of smelly wet lemmings.” The sarcastic lilt in my voice was filled with humor. I thought on all that Jade had told me, by her words I was actually getting a lot out of this. It’s just that I needed to think about this in a less than material manner and put it all into a different perspective.

“Fizzle… I would like to preemptively apologize for any injury you or I are about to get.” Turning to Jade, I was about to ask what was going to cause those injuries when I heard the thunder again. The sky that had been once blue was now covered in dark clouds. It was now crackling with thunder and light flashed above us. “This is not a normal storm and I think I know why this place is so empty now. Also if it rains hard enough to flood the area, how do you think that will affect the valley we are currently in now?”

My eyes widened and I looked out the back of the wagon and started imagining a tidal wave hitting us from behind and drowning all the lemmings.

“Please do share your knowledge Jade, because I’m feeling a tainted soul.” Sekhet was looking towards the sky as well. “Something has fouled that which I find precious in this world… souls are sacred!”

“Tainted… how exactly?” Jade spoke slowly and her eyes were darting around looking up at the sky from her position behind me.

“A weaker power is possessing the stronger.” This reminded me of a nightmare I had, only it didn’t seem so much like a nightmare now. “The possessed itself isn’t evil, so I must save them.”

I definitely remembered Sekhet saying the words ‘souls are sacred’ before. I recall Jade’s explanation that Sekhet is a goddess that will actively destroy evil without remorse if she feels it come within range of her.

“That’s actually very bad for us.” The way Jade said that, it was like she had her suspicions as to what was going to happen soon. “Quick question Sekhet… how long has it been since you last fought another god going all out?”

“It has been a while… are you actually suggesting to me that a god has been possessed Priest Jade?” There was that certain sinking feeling that I’m sure everyone here got as Sekhet stated that. “If so, can you tell me which god you think it is?”

“I hope I’m wrong in this, but I’d say we’re about to be attacked by a powerful god that has been known for having powerful weather controlling abilities.” Jade was speaking slowly with her eyes wandering the sky, I turned to look at what she was looking for and saw something in the clouds when they flashed. “This god primarily uses lightning to attack, but they can also use biting wind, torrents of dagger like rain and rarely concussing ice.”

Lightning struck the ground in front of the lemming herd and Fluttershy immediately got them running in a large circle.

“We are about to be attacked by a well-known feathered serpent god…” Jade’s eyes narrowed, a thunderous crash and a blinding light occurred. “Quetzalcoatl.”

Fluttershy started leading the lemmings back our way in a panic. Hovering above the ground where the lightning had struck was a large hovering dark purple serpent with black feathered wings, a dark blue flowing wild mane and glowing red eyes. Said eyes were currently directed at us.

This was certainly far worse than the basilisk and hoop snakes.

Author's Notes:

Here's an idea of what we're dealing with, not exactly an accurate representation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2CWw9N41b8

Chapter Fourteen, Oh Goddess Why: Anti-climate tick.

Author's Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dp0j49oOWo

-Sekhet-

The mouth of the one Jade called ‘the feathered serpent Quetzalcoatl’ opened and a building beam of lightning blasted forth.

I flipped backwards and grew to my full sized sphinx form while spreading my wings. The beam struck the barrier I formed in an instant in front of the wagon and the ones behind me.

Eventually the attack died down and I prepared for battle, it has been a while since I’ve met a worthy opponent. A possessed god of weather versus a god of war, this will be a lofty battle and I will not go easy on my opponent. Their soul needs to be freed of the outside influence.

“I’ll take care of this mortals.” I put my paws before me and fire several beams of light that was met with a beams of lightning. We held our beams against one another and we eventually canceled out each other’s attacks. I turned to the mortals for a second. “Do what you will when I draw his attention, just don’t die!”

“Can’t you deny him his ability to fly?!” Priest Jade asked as I took to the air and faced down the winged serpent.

“No, his flight is divinely powered!” I forged several spheres of light and sent them flying forward, the serpent countered by breathing out several balls of swirling winds that intercepted my magic. “If you haven’t noticed he isn’t exactly flapping his wings to fly, it is like how he cannot stop my healing abilities in the same respect. I will eventually win in the battle by attrition, but that will take a while. The one who controls him has control of the field of battle and thus currently controls this fight.”

I felt a feeling of gathering energy in the air, I darted the left and a large bolt of lightning crashed into the sky from the ground. Afterwards several smaller bolts fired at me from the energy traveling along the clouds, I rolled, swerved and dove around them.

“Let go of his soul and your end will be mercifully swift!” I turned upwards firing a beam of light that he dodged out of the way of, he returned it with a vortex of razor sharp wind and ice.

-Jade-

“Fluttershy, you need to get the lemmings moving and out of this valley!” I did not want to be anywhere near this valley at the moment with the wind whipping up like it was. If Quetzalcoatl starts making it rain enough to flood, the lemmings are attention deficit disorder ducks. Sitting ducks would imply that they could hold still for more than thirty seconds. “They can’t stay here, one powerful tornado or enough rain and they aren’t going to survive. Even we won’t survive if we get caught in the battle between those two.”

“Right, let’s go!” Fluttershy flew shakily over to the lemmings and started to direct them, the wind around here was beginning to shift for the worse. It was becoming harder for a weak flyer like Fluttershy to stay airborne.

Sekhet wasn’t wrong to say that Quetzalcoatl controlled the battlefield. It had yet to really get heated between the two gods, Sekhet was firing beams and bolts and trying to avoid getting struck by lightning with swift aerial movements.

I saw the goddess get tagged with a bolt of lightning in the middle of a roll, she wasn’t exactly the fastest being in the air. She only grit her teeth and fired an ankh shaped blast at Quetzalcoatl. The feathered serpent seemed to just lazily swerve around the blast, he was at home in the air and he had control of it.

It, however, did not seem that Quetzalcoatl could detain or stop Sekhet from being able to fly. Sekhet flew straight for him and tried to ram him.

He dodged to the side lazily once more and at a much faster than normal speed, only to get several long claw marks trailing along his scales close to his head. Sekhet had extended several thin looking beams of light from her right paw.

The serpent turned his head about to bite at Sekhet, only she had already backed off. The cuts on Quetzalcoatl’s body started to heal slowly. He might not be a god of healing, but he still had some healing.

“Come on Jade, let’s go!” Fizzle wrapped her hoof around my right arm and tugged at it.

I turned to her and then looked to Fluttershy who had landed and started to lead the still happy looking lemmings on hoof at a gallop down the valley. Not a single squeak of fear among them compared to Fluttershy’s panicking form, ignorance was bliss for the rodents that were happy to follow the pony around.

Fluttershy would likely get out of here safely as she didn’t have to worry about monsters, not with the weather picking up and getting as bad as it was.

“We’re not leaving Sekhet behind, Cheerilee you can follow Fluttershy…” I simply received a disapproving headshake.

“Can’t do that Jade, you and Fizzle are my students. I know Fizzle won’t leave unless you do and I feel responsible for both of you!” The wind started picking up and something slammed into the ground and Cheerilee covered her face as bits of rock struck her body at high velocities. “If the both of you stay, then I stay. I’ll move the wagon to a safe distance and try to get to a higher ground. If one of you gets hurt, then the other needs to bring them to me immediately. You better come to the wagon when you’re ready to leave, do you understand me?”

“Yes teach, we understand you clearly.” I looked to the sky and saw Sekhet and Quetzalcoatl spiraling around one another and firing beams, Sekhet’s attacks were notably punctuated by bright flashes of light against the dark sky.

Cheerilee started moving the wagon on her own. She hadn’t exhausted herself too much today, I made a note of the direction she was heading in.

Turning back to the fight, every flap of Quetzalcoatl’s wing sent powerful blades of winds, his mouth sprayed both ice and lightning at the goddess of war. Sekhet was holding her own for the time being, sending beams of light to deflect the lightning and was physically smashing away the chunks of ice being fired at her with her paws.

The whole area was getting darker thanks to the cloud layer being created by the feathered serpents building storm.

Eventually Quetzalcoatl roared to the heavens, after that it started to rain heavily. The clouds above us turned into a spiraling vortex and lightning started striking the ground at random around the area.

My fur started becoming soaked, the rain was really quite cold. I was shivering until a pair of hooves wrapped around me. Fizzle was hugging me in an attempt to keep me warm, a nice sentiment given the current situation.

“Jade we can’t help Sekhet, we’ve got nothing to throw at her opponent.” Well Fizzle wasn’t entirely correct, it’s just the things we could do wouldn’t really help immensely in this situation.

Fizzle was limited on her magic and despite it being powerful, it probably wouldn’t do any damage at all even if she hit Quetzalcoatl with the full force of everything she had directly.

“Not necessarily.” I had a few tricks up my sleeve or in my pack, but their effectiveness against such a powerful god was questionable.

I could hardly see the fight thanks to the sun being blotted out by the dark clouds, but my Abyssinian night vision helped somewhat in this situation. It was the falling sheets of rain that was the problem.

Fizzle didn’t have the same luxury of night vision for her eyes as she looked to the sky with her mane plastered against her neck from all the rain.

I pulled the griffon mask from my pack and placed it on my face, it’d stop the rain from blinding me somewhat. I was going to use it to keep track of the two battling gods, even with the masks abilities I could hardly keep up with the two large figures battling for dominance far above.

Sekhet hit Quetzacoatl in the tail with a ray of light and he roared a beam of lightning in retaliation at her, she put up a barrier and held it long enough for Quetzalcoatl to eventually stop firing lightning at her from his mouth.

Neither of them looked to be tiring at all. Their fighting was vicious as they continued flying in circles attacking one another. They bit with their teeth, slapped with their wings and launched volleys of power at one another with great force. The whole world seemed to be shaking from the impacts of their battle.

Quetzalcoatl attempted to wrap up Sekhet and detain her. She retaliated viciously by exploding with light, knocking him off of her and scorching his flesh.

Feeling something around my ankles, I looked down. We were both knocked down by the shockwave of a large bolt of lightning striking. Poking a shaking and frightened Fizzle who was still trying to keep me warm, I pointed towards the nearby bedrock hill.

Fizzle helped me up off the ground and we started climbing upwards as there was a thin film of water building up on the ground in the valley, nowhere was safe around here anymore.

I hoped Fluttershy was doing alright, because right now we couldn’t do much while trying to survive the storm being whipped up by the feathered serpent god.

The wind was picking up. I could hardly hear the sounds of anything over the wind ripping through the air, the cold rain falling upon us and lightning exploding everywhere. There was a particular problem with the roaring wind, as it sounded too loud. Looking to our right, I saw a tornado forming.

“Fizzle, Tornado!” She gave it the same wide eyed look of horror I had when she saw the quickly building whirling wall of deadly wind. “Lay flat and try to dig your hooves into the ground!”

Listening to what I said and digging my own claws into the bedrock about as well as I could, we both held on as the tornado passed nearby heading northwest in the direction we came from.

“Why don’t we get out of here Jade, what are we even still doing here?!” In response to your question Fizzle I’ll show you, I pulled out a black feather and started removing my knife sheath.

So long sheath number seven, I hardly knew you.

-Sekhet-

My flesh ripped across my cheek as the swing of this serpents wings sent several blades of wind slicing into me. Were I a lesser god, I would not be doing so well and these injuries would be more problematic. I couldn’t hold onto him or get enough hits in to deal with him anytime soon.

This Quetzalcoatl was a slippery being and the shadow controlling him is even slipperier then that. He flew up into the clouds, I concentrated and formed a pocket of calm air around me and waited.

He came at me from below and dug his teeth into my neck, I immediately pulsed light from my body and then sent a beam downs straight into him forcing him towards the ground. He swiftly caught himself flew up to spray me with a series of small piercing icicles.

If only I could get my paws on him for a few seconds to do some real damage!

I sent several blasts of light his way and he snaked around them, only to take one of my shots sharply across his right eye. He screeched in pain and sent several wind blades from his wings that I blocked with a quickly formed barrier.

He flew at me and whipped his tail around to strike out my left wing joint. I hissed loudly in pain as the wind blades from each individual tail hair had shredded their way through my left wing. The serpent succeeded in ripping up my wing joint and sending me spiraling downwards towards the ground.

It took a few seconds, but I caught myself in the air once my wing healed enough of the damage done. I needed to get a hold of him, I had to separate that malignant influence from his soul!

“Sekhet, I’m going to freeze him in place, do whatever damage you can to him when I do!” I heard her words clearly, despite the ongoing din of this weather god’s powers. Those words had been spoken in my mind. “Get ready, I’m about to do a cast.”

How was she, a lowly mortal, supposed to stop a god? My blows were actually wounding him, so did she think she could do any better than someone of my might? No, she wouldn’t presume herself that powerful, but she had a plan and I would heed her words. I prepared to strike him down.

If Jade and Kuril’s magical alchemy could actually have an effect on this god and tip the balance in my favor, I’d welcome it. I would also be worried that she has the ability to freeze a god in place, no matter how temporary.

I felt the magic, Jade was performing the cast and she was aiming it at the feathered serpent. I charged for him, he tried to back away. Only he suddenly became immobilized in the air and I could see his glowing eyes widen in shock.

I quickly clasped onto him, gripping his head tightly in my paws. I began charging as much of my power as I could, I was going to force the possessor out of this god and I will be owed a great boon from him for this action. All souls are sacred, even immortal ones like his. If he is to be dark and evil, then he must become so of his own free will.

I exploded with light and it flooded my opponent, we had been fighting long enough to weaken the possessor for this one action. Slowly, but surely enough, I could see a form separating from the head of Quetzalcoatl and it looked like a sickly cloud with eyes and two spindly arms.

Once it was separated from the god, the frightened cloud creature immediately started flying away as the god fell limply from my paws towards the ground. Quetzalcoatl would be fine now, his soul has been freed from control and I now have my true target!

I fired a blast of light that sheared off a large chunk of its retreating form. Before I could get in another blow, the blow that would have been quite a fatal one at that, it touched the clouds and dispersed rapidly to the point that I could no longer attack it as it had escaped from my senses.

“Coward!” It ran as soon as it knew it could not win the fight, I roared out to the empty sky in my anger. My wounds were superficial and they would heal with time.

The dark clouds started clearing up and then the sun shined on the damaged landscape below.

I headed towards the ground to see Jade and Fizzle already poking the resting god. As I settled upon the ground I noticed a rainbow arcing way up high over the valley that was now flooded with two feet of water.

Is it bad that I wished those dumb rodents had drowned in the flooding?

Chapter Fifteen, Questionable: Informative information.

-Sekhet-

I landed upon the ground, it was still hard and rocky. I admit the battle would have gone on longer had Jade not made a sacrifice to aid me, she had lost yet another knife sheath. We have plenty of gold in the treasury to start buying a stockpile, freezing any one thing for a temporary amount of time has proved to be quite useful.

That Jade froze a god was concerning, even if the god was corrupted by the strange cloud demon. Said god no longer looked corrupted or like the serpent god of darkness Apophis. No, the god looked far different that he had a few minutes ago.

Instead of dark purple and filled with a profound darkness not his own, the god was now bright blue and was almost turning white. He also had two extra wings where there were none before, probably the part of his divinity returning him to what he was.

Quetzalcoatl was currently out cold and nothing to worry about as I approached. Although, now that I looked at him, he kind of reminded me of the goddess Wadjet now that his majesty was restored. He wasn’t nearly as interesting as she was, Wadjet was far more colorful and beautiful by my personal opinion.

“Are you okay friends?” I ask with a small frown on my face, something was off about both Priest Jade and her beloved friend. “You are both looking pale and on the doorstep of Anubis or your personal choice of afterlife.”

“I think we might have gotten a bit…” Here, Jade was stopped by a powerful sneeze. She started to wipe at her nose with her forearm. Ah yes, I had forgotten that mortals didn’t not handle rapid environmental changes so well. Fizzle sneezed as well and huddled up against Jade. Their bodies needed lots of rest now after the past day or so. “We became sick from all that freezing rain. Almost being bodied by a tornado or getting struck by lightning didn’t help that much in our current conditions either.”

“Do you know more about him as a god?” I asked as he seemed quite different now, his appearance was a bit friendlier to gaze upon at least. “You knew his name so tell me, who is this we have here now?”

“Still Quetzalcoatl. While he’s technically not a god of weather. He’s technically a god air or wind, which lets him control the weather flat out. So he might as well be a god of the weather with the impressive show he just did.” Jade looks towards me sniffling a bit. Her nose was getting runny and it was not befitting a being of her stature; that being my friend and a rogue priest of some notoriety. “He’s also a god of intelligence and in a way, a fan of the sun. If he’s here… then that makes me wonder if his brother Xolotl is somewhere around here.”

“He has a brother? Should he be possessed as well, I will see to it he too is restored.” Putting a paw to my chin, I thought about what she said about the god. “Also how is this god a fan of the sun?”

“Yeah there might be a bit of…” Jade started coughing loudly, her nose wiggled and she was about to sneeze. That was when Cheerilee hoofed her a tissue box, it seems the teacher had been a bit wary of the god’s unconscious form and only now does she come over Jade blew her nose loudly, then looked up at the receptacle that Cheerilee thoughtfully produced for the used tissue. “Thank you Ms. Cheerilee. Anyway, there might be a bit of a rub with Quetzalcoatl and his brother being a bit… conceited. They may believe they are the sun, it’s a given since one of Quetzalcoatl’s is known as a giver of life. The sun brings life and so does rain and water, water is where most if not all of life comes from, but neither are exactly his real domain.”

Cheerilee being cautious was somewhat warranted, but I was here so she should not know fear. She would not come to harm while I breathe. While I can be killed, I will just get up eventually and until that moment happens I don’t necessarily breathe like a mortal. So she’d be out of luck if something actually managed to incapacitate me.

“It is a common trait among gods to be full of ourselves, so tell me something I don’t know.” Did Jade not know that I thought myself a god that protects the sun? Her being a sun priest is why I’ve stuck around as long as I have, otherwise I’d have lost interest eventually. Most of my powers were based in light, the soul and somewhat in healing.

There were other powers that I could have used, but I didn’t want to turn the valley into a desert. It had already been devastated by Quetzalcoatl’s rampage enough. Even when he was possessed, it seems Quetzalcoatl had been intelligent enough to force himself to stay in one place and I can say that he warrant his intellect as an aspect of his. Even controlled, he was quite a match with his intellect even as corrupted as he was.

Quetzalcoatl had to have stuck himself here in Serpent Strath Path and forced himself to be territorial to keep his captor from abusing his powers outside a certain area of influence. It’s kind of like how I was trapped at the temple for so many years until Somnambula freed me, he was waiting to be rescued or defeated. I had rescued him, but the thing that had been controlling him had unfortunately escaped.

It was taking Jade a long time to think of something, both she and Fizzle were blowing their noses so I would give them time they needed. I was a very patient deity after all. Disgusting their sickness may be, but it was a natural part of mortal life.

“Well aside from being a god of the air, intelligence and was powerful enough to challenge even you in a fight. I think you’d be interested to know that he has a brother that looks nothing like him.” Priest Jade, I do believe I had that fight won even without your help, but please, do go on. “His brother Xolotl is a strange one, I’m quite sure he’s been compared to Anubis multiple times given his ties to the underworld, Tartarus or death in general. He’s a god of fire and lightning, actually mostly raw energy in general. That’s his elemental aspect, as for his other aspects he is known as a god of misfortune, monsters and sickness. The truth is probably weirder than that as I’m not exactly as well versed on him as I am Quetzalcoatl.”

“I’d like to know more about this Xolotl, it sounds like an interesting topic.” One cannot blame Fizzle for taking interest, as I too held some interest in the subject. To my immediate surprise, it wasn’t Jade who answered her hungry mind.

“Well it is said that he might have given birth to the legend of the were-ponies and many other strange or odd monstrosities. It took me a moment to realize why the name sounded so familiar, it is said that Xolotl was a dog like creature with sunken eyes and the one who created the mysterious lizard species known as axolotls with great self-healing properties.” As soon as Cheerilee spoke of the lizards having healing properties, Jade’s ears shot straight up and her eyes started to show a greater interest. “I don’t know a thing about Quetzalcoatl, but Xolotl is said to be quite an unusual being in many respects. It is said that the god eventually changed from being like a dog that ferried the dead into a more of deformed serpent cursed or possibly blessed with an amphibious appearance and became an eyeless voyeur, no pony really knows. One thing is for sure, his current appearance resembles that of his creations the axolotls as they are seen today. I believe that’s when legend of his power over energy or magic started becoming more pronounced. Some historians say that Xolotl might have had problems with a being known as Ahuizotl.”

Jade was still working on a method to restore Fizzle’s horn. Not to the intensity that Priest Jade was missing her own life, but it was a powerful enough urge that she’d go looking if she knew where to do so. I may just join her in looking for one of these axolotls, mostly since my curiosity has been piqued. What piqued it even further was how Jade flinched when Cheerilee said ‘Ahuizotl’, that was a curious response.

“Well that is all really quite interesting teach, but don’t we have a pony we should be catching up with?” Stop drawing our attention to the fact that we were trying to stall Fizzle, we did not want to deal with any more lemmings and being free of them for the time being is a much needed break for all of us. At Fluttershy’s expense of course, if she is even okay at all, but nobody has ever said that I was a perfect or friendly goddess. Though they would have to eventually admit that I certainly pick and choose my battles quite well. “Also what do we do with Quetzalcoatl? Do we just leave him here alone like this? I seriously don’t want this guy to end up getting possessed again, his power over storms kind of scares me.”

“No we will not leave him here, but you cannot move him. I could move him, but it is better for us to sit here. We have plenty of supplies in surplus that will stay fresh indefinitely. Also you and Jade have fallen ill, the both of you need plenty of rest.” I would not risk their health worsening, but my main goal was to not be near those lemmings a second longer. I was a bit selfish like that, but weren’t we all a little selfish here? “I suggest we set up camp here and wait for the god to wake from his slumber, should he prove violent I shall protect you once more.”

“We still need to see if Fluttershy is okay dealing with those lemmings by herself.” The point you have made certainly cannot go on ignored Fizzle. I could clearly see that she was not going to drop this until someone goes and checks on the meek one and her herd of mindless critters.

Cheerilee could not leave as she had to take care of these two. Those two could not leave as they have both become ill, so that meant... I sighed audibly.

“Fine, I will go make sure your friend is safeguarded from harm.” Lifting up into the air with a flap of my wings, I looked to the southeast and was about to begin my search of the kind one. Said kind one was far too kind for her own good and she needed to learn how to have a backbone. “Do not go too far from here, you are at least well enough to help set up camp and start a fire. Do not let these two out of your sight Cheerilee.”

Setting off, I hoped to find the meek one in some state of health and not in mortal peril. I did not like damsels in distress, they are always so annoying and could at least be a little more active in helping their rescuers.

-Jade-

The blanket and sleeping bag currently wrapped tightly around me kept me warm, even then I was still shivering a lot. The receptacle Cheerilee set out for me and Fizzle was halfway filled with used tissues full of snot. Next time we’ll bring our cloaks regardless of whether or not it looks like it won’t rain at all. Speaking of, I should really find out what an umbrella does when used in magical alchemy.

I and Fizzled had dried off and Cheerilee saw to changing my chest bandages and reapplying medical gel to Fizzle’s healing cuts. In general we were okay after all we went through in the previous day and the last few hours.

It only sunk in now how exhausted we both were with trying to keep a bunch of lemmings in line and facing down multiple dangers, though I would say this wasn’t exactly the worst that could have happened to us. That would be trying to get past the basilisk again, we’re definitely going home on a different route.

Looking over to Fizzle, I watched as she finally got the fire started and had a small smile on her sickly looking face. Good job Fizzle, now come over here and rest next to me. I was already sick and there wasn’t any way you could possibly make me feel worse than I already do with my poor sinuses being clogged up.

“Gross fact, most beings swallowed about a half a gallon of mucus a day. That’s based on the proportional size of an everyday average pony.” Why would I receive such a disbelieving stare from Fizzle, it wasn’t like I said something that wasn’t true. Plus I had to blow my nose again, my head was really stuffed up.

“If you know that, then why can’t you ever solve for P on a simple math formula?” Now the incredulous look was sent Cheerliee’s way. “Swallowing is something you naturally do without thought, even in your sleep. So really it’s not that big a deal Ms. Berrytwist.”

“Yep and most beings swallow approximately six hundred times a day. Of course drawing attention to breathing, swallowing and or blinking like Cheerilee just did tends to make one more self-aware of the fact that those responses are generally automated and not consciously controlled.” Now for the kicker comment on what I know would cause the two ponies problems. “Now don’t think about that all too hard.”

I watched as both Cheerilee and Fizzle actively consciously blinked, took in a bit of air and swallowed at the same time in stereo.

“Jade… you’re a jerk, but you’re my jerk.” A rather acceptable response to making them both consciously breathe and blink reflexively. Fizzle blew her nose. “I am now far too aware of how often I blink.”

“Again, why are you so horrible at math when you’re this good at something that sounds suspiciously like psychology?” Don’t honestly know Cheerilee and you were breathing a bit much there, but that’s probably not my fault.

“Numbers have never been my thing Cheer…” I had to sneeze and I let it loose, it sounded almost like a mouse sneezing. “They’ve never been my thing Ms. Cheerilee.”

-Jacky-

“Okay Jacky, how did you do that?” Look mom, Kuril, I don’t know how I did it. Just that I did.

“I have no idea how I shot that chicken into the target.” We were both staring at the panicking chicken I had accidentally fired from my bow. I was practicing speed firing and it must have wandered too close to me, now its beak was embedded in the middle of the target I had been aiming at.

“That's not exactly what I was talking about. It's the tomahawk you hit the left target with.” What tomahawk mom? There wasn't a... actually... there was tomahawk in the target on the left... huh... “Though, admittedly, the chicken shot was a pretty unusual too!”

Chapter Fifteen, Questionable: Cool information.

-Kuril-

“What are you doing there Maries?” All three heads turned to me, hardly did I ever need to address them separately.

“Going over Jade’s case file to make sure there isn’t anything we missed solving during her visit to the court room.” Mara answered her eyes going over some documents, Maria was look at her own documents off to the side and Marie was reading some kind of action adventure novel. Maria spoke up next. “Don’t want any unexpected surprises to come back and bite us later, Marie is keeping us all entertained with a good story. Otherwise this would be really, exceedingly dry stuff and we’d eventually die of documentation overload. While they can call Jade back into the courtroom for a review, they can’t change the not guilty ruling without a very justified reason that she is actually guilty of something. They could try something sneaky, but Celestia being judge means they’d have to have her there and Celestia would definitely notify Jade directly of having to visit Canterlot. Another thing is they have no evidence to convict anyone of stealing the gold airship even if they saw you, they can’t actually prove that you were there thanks to the illusion dust causing so many hallucinations in the area. Who knows what anyone actually saw, so even the ‘Circle of the Concise’ wouldn’t be able to do anything useful without the right questions being asked.”

Marie flicked her tongue and the page turned in the book, she seemed too intent on the book to really talk. I took a hint and moved on from them to see if anything needed doing in the kitchen. Nope, things were clean and Fresh Start must be working hard today.

“Well that’s nice to know.” I now had a pouch of illusion dust at my hip, a good witch always needed a bit of quick magic on paw and I had plenty left over from the heist. I was even working on my own unique powder concoction, I was still trying to work the explosiveness out of it and a few other small bugs in the magic involved with what I wanted my own original magic powder to do.

Alchemy was quite fun and I should have gotten into it years ago, it seemed like a talent a witch like me would use when it comes to brewing intrigue. Zecora was a great friend, but it was a little far for her to travel from the Ever Free Forest to here when she wanted something other than a meal.

Ponyville hasn’t exactly been kind to Zecora yet thanks to the fact that she was surviving in a very dangerous place, but the ponies there weren’t bad people even if they were all shunning her for no reason whatsoever.

My daughter had spent a solid week in the Canterlot dungeons and walked away smelling like roses. I was happy to have taken part in the heist, the entire thing was a bit exhilarating even if all I did was pilot The Ardent Survivor. I didn’t know what to use all the gold for, but I was thinking a library and expanding our farm land outwards.

We couldn’t really supply Zecora with the stuff she wanted or needed. So we also needed general stores here in Airship Mauled too. As mayor, I guess it was my duty to plan it and I needed Sekhet here for that to work things out. I guess I would also need Maries, if they’ve learned anything about the related laws and some other things I needed to be aware of.

The obscure rubber chicken law that Pudding Head got passed was the only one I knew about, because Jade wouldn’t stop giggling about it.

While Jade and the others were away on a trip to help out Fluttershy in moving a bunch of cute furry little rodents, I didn’t have much going on. As an Abyssinian I would have had some trouble with resisting my baser urge to eat a lemming, unlike Jade who wouldn’t have that problem as she was quite a maverick with her love of fruit. I wasn’t about to eat the rodents Fluttershy had befriended around here at any rate, but that urge to try was still there.

Knowing Jade was completely safe wherever she was, I could see the fire was still going while standing at the door to my restaurant, unless I got customers I didn’t really have much to do and had a lot of free time since I couldn’t currently do my job as mayor.

Getting customers was actually becoming more of a regular thing around here, I looked to Fresh Start as she started taking care of the tables and making sure the restaurant was clean. It seems we weren’t going to be very busy today, so I really didn’t have to do much cooking aside from feeding the local hungry mouths.

I currently didn’t feel like working on my powder concoction at the moment and finally decided on what to do.

I went to see what Jacky was doing. It appears she was still working on gaining a talent with that bow Jade made for her, she seemed intent on figuring out how to be an archer. She was an expert at using cannons, wouldn’t practicing that be a better use of her time instead of trying to figure out the random physics breaking omnidirectional arrow shooting bow?

I stood by her watching as she incidentally launched a tomahawk and a chicken among the many arrows that seemingly veered away from the targets or rarely, if ever, struck them. She had a good handle on rapidly firing them at least.

I commented on it. A few moments after commenting that the chicken shot was unusual, Jacky just sat there with a sudden dull look in her eyes.

“…. I figured it out…” Her eyes lit with a brightness I haven’t seen before, my parrot daughter’s tail lifted upwards and she looked to me with excitement building on her beak. She pulled me into a tight hug while shrieking a happy sounding bird noise in my poor ears. “This has been bugging me and making me angry at myself since forever, but you’ve helped me figure out what I’ve been doing wrong this whole time. Oh my goodness mom, thank you!”

“Well you’re welcome for whatever you figured out thanks to me, we should pull Ms. Cluckin out of the tree you fired her into and get her back to Mr. Refreshment.” My parrot daughter had the wherewithal to look both ashamed and sheepish about it. “After that you can tell me what you’ve been doing wrong. Since you’re the one that fired her, you’re going to retrieve Cluckin and take her back to Mango. I’m going to stow the Pukwudgie tomahawk away for some magical alchemy study later.”

That was something else I had to work on, I guess I did have something more to do. I almost forgot we had a lot of untested magical alchemy ingredients just lying around.

-Ten minutes later-

“So to give you an idea of what I’ve figured out… who made this bow?” Really Jacky? I’m sure we both knew who made the bow, but I guess you wanted me to humor you.

“My daughter Jade crafted it with her bare hands. You know this, I know this and everyone who was at your birthday party certainly knows this since she handed it to you.” I gave her a slightly bored look when she pointed at me excitedly, I just had to ask. “What is your point about this?”

“It’s that she, Captain Jade, made it!” Jacky I still don’t get where you were going with this. “Captain made this bow and we both know that she can’t stay away from doing something completely abnormal for too long! So why would we think she’d construct a completely normal bow?”

“I don’t see what’s so abnormal about… oh.” It may have just occurred to me that this is my kitten we’re talking about here, and that meant a number of things. Not all of them were good things. “It’s not exactly a normal bow now is it?”

“Exactly that, she used magical alchemy in every single part of this bows construction!” Okay, that might have some implications as to why your luck has been quite bad with the bow Jacky. Though that would only ‘almost’ begin to explain the shooting arrows straight backwards. No other bow in the world could possibly do something like that while trying to fire it normally. So yeah, it wasn’t normal at all in any stretch of the imagination come to think of it. “She magically sustained the parts separately and after she completed it as a whole single object. She never actually fully tested what would happen if you mixed so many various magical properties like the self-sustains that come from sustaining the constituent parts and as a complete singular object. She figured the various casts to make it permanently sturdier and water proof was all that she did to it, I don’t think she even considered the implications of what she’s made here.”

“So I take it you now know what the bow does and what have you been doing wrong?” At my question, she silently held up a talon and then walked off in a frighteningly good mood. Not that her usual mood was depressive, it just seemed like that by comparison.

When she came back she was holding a bowling pin, a kitchen knife and half rotted mango, she gave me a smug look.

“Watch and be amazed as I use this magical bow to do very unusual things!” She proclaimed proudly, I sat down and waited for her to get on with it. “Which target do you want me to shoot the knife with?”

“The distance one… Jade didn’t seem to have any problems with firing arrows straight.” There were five targets, the middle, left and right targets were almost the same distance away. There were two other targets that were close and far away. I obviously chose the hardest target for her to hit. If she was about to do something impressive, then Jacky may as well go big.

“To explain why Jade didn’t have that problem, we'll say my luck may be a deciding factor in normal arrows going wonky." She put the knife to the string and pulled back, the knife wasn’t even big enough to lean against the wood and yet she was aiming it like it was an arrow. "This bow only magnifies that issue to a bizarre degree.”

“Bizarre doesn’t begin to cover the backwards arrows or the spinning butt slappers.” Crossing my arms I waited for an explanation to that.

“Don’t know what to tell you about that, but watch this carefully.” She released the string, instead of hitting the wood of the bow the knife shot forward on an arc as if it were an arrow and struck the distant target.

I blinked and rubbed my eyes, only to blink again in disbelief.

Jacky smirked took up the mango did the same thing by shooting the left target with unerringly good accuracy, said target now had bits of splattered fruit all over it. Jacky then fired the bowling pin, the butt end of which knocks the knife out of the far target when it collided with it.

“Is it just me or is every one of those objects flying from the bow as if it were an arrow?” That was kind of amazing, why hadn’t we figure this out previously?

I knew the answer as soon as I thought it, who would fire something that’s not an arrow from a bow?

“Because this bow can fire just about…” Jacky stopped and stared at the bow, held it horizontal and pulled the string with nothing in it. She released the string and a horizontal crescent of destructive light leapt from the bow and cut the right target into two burnt halves. “Anything…”

I quickly put out the fire Jacky caused with a few bursts of water from my mouth, fish scale necklaces were always a magical alchemist’s friend. Turning to Jacky I had a few words to say.

“Did you just fire a concentrated spray of sunlight from the bow?” It seems I had taken my eyes off of Jacky for too long, for my words spooked her from what she was currently doing.

Her feet were on the string of the bow, her hands were on the wood pulling it up to stretch the string. She reflexively let go of the bow and started to turn towards me as if to answer my question. Instead of the wood of the bow logically slamming into the ground or into her toes, the string instead went up and launched Jacky into the sky.

I watched as my flailing and screaming parrot daughter came down into a tree a few hundred feet away. This was followed by slamming into multiple branches on the way down to the ground, oh and a fire wasp hive fell onto her lap.

“Why-hy-hy-y!” She whined in pain after coming to a rest on the ground. Her whining turned to whimpering as a ton of bright red glowing insects flew out of the hive and started aiming all their mandibles straight for her. “Uh, can we talk about this guys? Mom, please go get some yarrow and plantain leaves. Captain’s absurd pain tolerance doesn’t tell me how much this is actually going to hurt.”

The fire wasps descended upon Jacky in a buzzing angry hoard, she started running for the river while screaming as if she were lit on fire. I calmly walked up to the hive and picked it up, I was going to move it much farther away from here. Fire wasp hives were immune to fire and smoke did nothing to the wasps themselves, horrifyingly difficult to get rid of compared to normal wasps.

On my way back from ditching the hive, I sighed loudly as I thought about how cool that bow was. Jacky fired herself from the obviously magical bow, one with a very unique effect of being capable of firing anything the string hits. I better write this one down as a unique magical alchemy ingredient.

A bow that could fire any object that has no aerodynamic capacity whatsoever that could be put to the string as if it were arrow dynamic. I literally could not think of a better term for what the bow does, it literally makes things fly with the dynamics of an arrow which was unfortunate for poor Jacky who followed the arc the bow had launched her into.

I’m actually kind of envious of Jade’s friends now.

-Jade-

“So that’s how you get ink from a giant squid.” My words were met with odd looks, I rubbed at my nose with a tissue.

“Have you ever gone to a therapist for this Jade?” Why would I need to go to therapy for this Cheerilee, the squid ink spaghetti was delicious.

“Nope, mom made some really good spaghetti and it was all worth the effort.” Still didn’t understand the incredulous looks I was receiving. “The squid ink sauce did need some parmesan to make it taste really good.”

“Sounds intriguing, may I perhaps inquire something.” We all turned to the large four winged blue serpent with glowing green eyes. “Did you manage to destroy the one who had possessed me?”

Author's Notes:

(New Alchemy Ingredient!)

27. Jacky's Arrow Dynamic Bow.

Chapter Fifteen, Questionable: Teaching information.

-Cheerilee-

“No, the guy that possessed you sadly got away.” You’re not getting off that easily Jade, not when I think you need help. “In any case nice to meet you Quetzalcoatl, we hope you can stick around. The goddess we’re friends need to discuss the boon you owe her for saving you, so stick around.”

“Well I…” Started off the flying serpent only I interrupted him with my own worries about Jade.

“Are you sure you were okay after dealing with those giant squids in the past like you said you did?” The situation I heard that Jade has been in sounded rather abusive, I mean there had to be an easier way of getting giant squid ink. “It sounds like you’re mother put you in a pretty bad situation.”

“I’m perfectly fine with it Cheerilee, I grew up in coastal fishing town.” Jade sniffled a bit and huddled under the blanket with Fizzle. The both of them were pretty sick and they couldn’t get worse snuggled up like that, so I didn’t say anything about it. “I’m not psychologically scarred by it and the payoff was definitely worth the effort. Also I love my mom and there’s been no real problem. Please do not do anything involving child services and my mother or you will see my true wrath.”

“It just sounds so horrible though.” That threat was quite a serious one that I’m going to heed, I still couldn’t imagine the poor dear having to deal with giant squids multiple times. Kuril, for her minor faults, did not seem like a bad mother, especially since she has gotten two other adoptive children calling her mom as well.

“Eh, doesn’t sound that bad to me personally, I mean Jade is someone who talked a kraken into giving her a massage. So she obviously isn’t haunted by the idea of being near large creatures with tentacles.” Wait, she did what Fizzle!? Fizzle had stopped to blow her nose and then she finished. “I got one myself, wasn't bad.”

“Yeah, those suction cups really help loosen you up and he was a nice guy about the whole thing.” At Jade’s words I couldn’t help but imagine something horrific. So why was I blushing so hard about it? “That really helped me get back into the swing of things by speeding up my recovery by a good bit.”

“You... let a kraken massage you…” There was no way for me to keep the incredulity out of my voice, I wouldn’t let a kraken touch a foal like that.

“To be fair I was in a lot of pain at the time and I asked Mr. Escargot to politely help me with it. He kept his tentacles to himself and he was a perfectly gentle cephalopod about it.” That doesn’t make someone feel relief Jade, it makes me worried about your psychological state. Also, don’t think I missed you dodging the issue of your dyscalculia every time I try to bring it up! “It helps that he’s friends with sea ponies and was a card carrying member of the S.O.S Brigade. Lighten up Cheerilee, you have to realize that I’m from a different culture. So what might be mentally scarring for a pony isn’t as scarring for me.”

“S.O.S Brigade?” I will have to admit that she did have a point. Jade was in fact from a different culture and I guess there are some psychological differences between our species. It’s either that or Jade is an insane outlier even within her cultural background. “I guess I’ve never thought of it before, but I guess I am running a multicultural class of teenagers. Makes me wonder what it’ll be like when I have to actually deal with fillies and colts in a year or so.”

I remembered that Daisy, Rose and Lilly freaked out about even the simplest of things, so I would have to admit that ponies by nature are very skittish beings when it came to the unknown or the unusual.

I should hold a cultural exchange day at Airship Mauled, I wanted to know more about Abyssinian, Chimera and Parrot cultures. If they didn’t know about their own culture that well like Ms. Chickadee, then they can learn a few new things that they didn’t know before.

Holding a parent day would be kind of awkward, given Jacky, Jade and Fizzle all kind of shared a mother. Maybe a family day would be much better, there would be no exclusion as any family member would be welcome to come in.

“I’m sure you’ll do a great job when you get to working with fillies and colts Ms. Cheerilee.” This was followed by Fizzled snorting some snot back up into her nose and then blowing it out into a tissue. I liked the vote of confidence from a student, but my inability to teach Jade advanced math has been riling me up quite a bit. “Jade’s explained this to me before. The S.O.S Brigade is a brigade of sea pony friendly animals that can come when an S.O.S is signaled in a very specific way anywhere there is water, mostly the response is easier to achieve out in the open sea as that’s where the sea ponies usually operate to help save people from drowning. The S.O.S Brigade usually do so when sea ponies are far too busy to assist a victim that might soon drown and knows the call to make when help is sorely needed.”

“Ah, yes, my brother is somewhat part of that brigade in a manner of speaking. His creatures, the axolotl’s, are mostly aquatic beings after all.” We turned to Quetzalcoatl who had shrunk down to a friendlier size, but still larger than me or the others. “Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt, but you don’t seem impressed by my majestic appearance and I am not used to being ignored.”

“We saw what you were like while possessed. We got sick because of that frigid rain you dropped on us, we were also nearly hit by a tornado and struck by lightning multiple times. So really, we wouldn’t have reason to be friendly to you after what you put us through.” Clearing her throat, Jade spat out a sickly looking wad of gunk. “The previous day we ran into problems with poisonous hoop snakes and a deadly basilisk, then we meet you. So should we feel happy to see you when your powers almost killed us? That’s not a very good first impression.”

“You are right, I apologize.” The winged serpent stated while lowering his head sadly. “I will endeavor to make it up to you.”

“You can figure out how to do that on your own time.” Well wasn’t that a bit less than friendly of you Jade. “Meanwhile I believe we have other things to discuss?”

“So how does one signal the S.O.S Brigade?” I decided to bring the topic back to the S.O.S Brigade. “You know, in case I ever get lost or stuck out at sea?”

“Technically you’d be signaling for the sea ponies, but the S.O.S brigade might show up in their place. The way you signal the sea ponies or S.O.S brigade is by shouting this, Shoo-be-do~ shoo-shoo-be-do~!” That seemed rather arbitrary thing to shout Jade, but it’s not like anyone would ever say that by accident. “It might take a few tries to get some help.”

We all heard a splash coming from the river that was two feet deeper than normal, thought it looked like the excess water was slowly draining out. Crawling up the bedrock hill was a strange red and green lizard creature with fins sticking out of its four legs, back, head and tail.

I shifted away from it and closer to Quetzalcoatl, it was looking at us in a very unusual manner with its frightening eyes.

“Oh look, I think it’s a water dragon.” It turned to Jade and approached her, it sniffed her a bit and then let out a sound that was like a loud bark. It nudged her and proceeded to stare at her expectantly, she scrutinized it for a second before nodding. “Huh… oh, sorry! False alarm, I didn’t necessarily mean to call you and was telling my friends how to call for help. Thanks for coming over though, hold on a second. Here take this for your troubles miss water dragon.”

Jade got a fish out and tossed it to the water dragon. It leapt up and snapped the fish out of the air and started crunching the tiny bones in its powerful jaws. All it did while it chewed was crawl back for the stream.

“One of the S.O.S Brigade?” Asked Fizzle idly as she leaned against Jade.

“Yep, didn’t know there were any water dragons in the S.O.S Brigade. I guess I learned something new today.” Jade turned a bland look to me. “She probably causes an S.O.S whenever she appears, as she likely scares ponies too easily. If you summon an S.O.S Brigade member or a sea pony, then you should always remember to be respectful as they will and can help save your life.”

So I was a little frightened, can you honestly tell me it’s not warranted?

“Can you blame me for being a little scared?” Stating this defensively, I moved away from Quetzalcoatl and sat down next to the camp fire with a small sigh of relief. “She does have quite a few teeth on her.”

“Yeah, she does at that Cheerilee.” After letting loose a few chuckles Jade added. “She seems like a very nice lady.”

“Anyway, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” We turned to Quetzalcoatl, the feathered serpent had been rather unobtrusive so far. “Who are all of you? You know of me, so I find myself at a loss here.”

“Well it would be proper for us to introduce ourselves.” Turning my gaze to Jade to let her know how rude we were being. “I’m Cheerilee, I’m a teacher to these two poor girls.”

“We’re sick, but not completely invalid Cheery. Call me poor again and I’ll show you how tough I am even if I’m going to be sneezing and coughing for quite a while.” It seems Jade was getting a bit grouchy, I would be too if I was feeling like she and Fizzle currently were. Thank you hardy Earth Pony nature for resilience to most forms of sicknesses! “I’m Jaded La Perm and this is Fizzlepop Berrytwist. Also yes, she is our teacher as much as we’re hers.”

“Ah teaching, even a teacher can learn something from the students as you just pointed out mortal, each student is different and can teach an immeasurable number of things without knowing that they do.” Ah yes, the god of intelligence aspect certainly shines true there. I think I might actually like him for that. “A good teacher can inspire hope, ignite the imagination and instill interest in learning. For a teacher to teach a student, they must learn about the student in question to know how to teach them.”

“Oh great, a god with an understanding of philosophy. Well I guess I better drop it out there to see what happens.” Drop what exactly Jade, what were you going to say? “Wisdom is in knowing that you know nothing.”

“Ah, you are well learned beyond your years. Even I can accept that I know nothing and that there is always more to learn.” There was a pause where Quetzalcoatl seemed to look at Jade more closely. “Interesting, there is an odd aura about you.”

“When was the last time you saw a sun priest?” The reaction to Jade’s words was sudden and very visible, the feathered serpent had reared back in shock.

“I am sorry I didn’t recognize it sooner, so you are a priestess of the sun Jade?” Quetzalcoatl tilted his head and studied Jade further. “There is something of an oddity about your being Priest Jade.”

“Please, just call me Jade. I don’t advertise myself as being a priest, another thing is that I’m technically a rogue sun priest.” Yawning Jade pushed her face against Fizzle’s neck. “Got a problem with that?”

“No there is no problem, you must have your reasons.” He bowed to Jade, which left me curious as to why a god would bow to a mortal. “You are a rarity of the world these days. To have fallen so far as to almost kill you, I am ashamed that I was not able to fight off the influence of the one who possessed me without outside help.”

“I’m not really that important.” Having said that, Jade received a light smack to her cheek by Fizzle. Thankfully Fizzle wasn’t looking to hurt her and she as weak as Jade currently was.

“You’re tired and are being an idiot, because you should know you are important to me Jade.” Getting a strong grip on her friend with her hooves, Fizzle pulled Jade towards and into the wagon. She forced Jade to lay down with her while keeping the blankets wrapped around them. “Now let’s get some rest Jade, we need it.”

Jade protested Fizzle’s actions slightly and then started to snuggle against Fizzle. She had fallen asleep within the next thirty seconds. The problem was, this left me alone with the feathered serpent I was still a bit nervous about as Fizzle herself fell asleep too.

“Er… my special talent is wanting to help others be happy, learn and grow.” This is what I consider the standard pony opener, talk about your special talent and see if you can get a conversation started. “I’m having a problem with learning where Jade is concerned.”

“If I have a good read of her, she leads an interesting life and is never bored of seeing strange or new sights.” Quetzalcoatl’s voice. “So what exactly is the problem that the priest has with learning?”

I decided to explain to him what Jade was having trouble learning.

-Fluttershy-

“Thank you for helping me get them the rest of the way Ms. Sekhet.” I got the lemmings to their new home safely, only I’m upset that both Fizzle and Jade got so hurt and are now sick from what Sekhet tells me. I wasn’t going to say anything, but I’m never going through all of this again.

“Don’t worry about it Fluttershy, worry about our friends who are ailing.” She seemed pretty worried about Jade and Fizzle. “We should get back to them soon, we need to get them home where they can be taken care of.”

-???-

The sun priest still wasn’t dead, how hard can it be to kill one teenage cat? It didn’t help that all the assassins were missing in action, the only one that they had any clue about was Matilda. Said jenny has likely gone to ground because of an incident involving the sun priest, the other two assassins were just plain missing.

Blade was last seen in Canterlot before the target started a parade out of nowhere, Obelus had disappeared from Ponyville without a single word.

That wasn’t the worst of it, the sun priest had targeted Billion N. Karats. She was already beginning to move against them, she had to be put down before she could ruin everything!

To add insult to injury, she legally got away with everything thing she did. Celestia likely knows about us already and assisted her in trying to ferret us out, we will have to move more carefully in the future.

Chapter Fifteen, Questionable: Plot information.

-???-

“Have you found the information on ‘The End of Immortality’ yet?” We have been searching for clues, when all there were was rumors.

One thing was for certain, the rumors yielded substantial evidence to the existence of a being known as ‘The End of Immortality’ that could put an end to all gods.

We wanted that power and were willing to do whatever it took to free this being from wherever they were sealed. From there we would ask this being to destroy the gods of the world by making them all mortal, for we would be taking away the very thing that allowed their continued stranglehold on our world.

Should ‘The End of Immortality’ refuse to help us, then we will just have to strip their power from them and use the power towards our own end.

Every god’s immortality, once ripped from them, will leave them vulnerable to blades, cannons, poisons and all manner of things. They may be mighty, but they will bleed until they breathe their last and those loyal to them will not be able save them from doing so.

The immortal that we plan to make fall first will be Princess Celestia, this will be followed swiftly by her niece Cadence and then we will sweep the world of gods and goddesses. Both the sun and moon will be back in control of us mortals and not just one flawed being who sits on her throne pretending to guide us all to salvation.

Once free ‘The End of Immortality’ will end the reign of Celestia one way or another, but with the Sun Priest active we may fail in our objective to finally rid this world of alicorns and any other gods that may exist out there.

To that end we were funding a stallion known as Dr. Caballeron to search for an artifact called ‘The End of Immortality’, we have not told him a description of the artifact in question. Only that it is powerful and can destroy that which is indestructible. He will not know that it is a living being that he is looking for.

“I have sufficient evidence that the first clue to finding the location of ‘The End of Immortality’ is in a monk temple built high up on a mountain peak, but it is not just any monk temple. It is a temple built on hatred, the cold and nightmares.” The stallion started off. His greyish brown coat and swept back dark blue black mane were a unique look. His bright green eyes were filled with greed and it fits as his talent for finding ancient treasure was quite well known to us. “Specifically, they are a cult of monks that worships the dark goddess of the moon. If I am to approach them then I want to be paid upfront so that I can enjoy the money before I go off to an… uncertain fate.”

“We will pay you, but should you not return with the information you will not be getting any more from us, we are willing to pay for every scrap of confirmable evidence you receive.” Should this Dr. Caballeron betray us, he will find out that it is wrong to have crossed us quite quickly. “We will be double checking your evidence of ‘The End of Immortality’ to make sure it is valid, you have three strikes. Stop trying to deceive us at two and you’ll be safe. Continue past and onto the third strike, then we will cease paying you anything. Not only that, we will actively send someone to hunt you down should you choose to pursue this artifact for yourself and your own ends. You will never know peace or find a place of safety.”

“I am quite trustworthy. That is… as long as I am being paid to be.” After Caballeron turned about and started to leave the room. We will be watching you Dr. Caballeron, do not disappoint us.

Now we were going to turn our attention to the Sun Priest, since she is seeking to stop us we need to eliminate her before she discovers what we are looking for. She would protect the gods and against all odds, she might even succeed given how powerful she is. We could not allow that to happen!

How to go about killing her though? The priestess is quite a powerful being, she was quite capable of so many things and doing the impossible is something that Sun Priests are known for. At least before they were all supposedly purged from the world. Apparently becoming a Sun Priest was not related to genetics, as such they can never be permanently stamped out.

We can still at least stamp out the one Sun Priest that we knew about. She has yet to be sent a Moon Priest protector, but it was only a matter of time and the Sun Priest powers must have been growing stronger by the day.

-Jade-

“Atchoo.” Grilled Cheese sandwich… mmmm… tomato soup to go with it. Also Fizzle drizzled in… chocolate sauce? That doesn’t seem right, chocolate sauce does not go on ponies and that’s very unhygienic. Also Fizzle would taste awful, because meat and chocolate don't mix. Also I don’t want to eat a pony.

Can I please get something different that’s on the menu?

Alright, a swimming pool full of strawberry sauce and vanilla ice cream! That’s more like it and to my taste, oh and we’re having a pool party with all my friends and family.

This is going to be so sweet… now if only we all had super spoons or mighty sporks big enough to eat it all.

Forget it, I’m just going to jump straight into it and start eating anyway!

-Fizzle-

Fluffy kitty, beautiful kitty, wonderful ball of fur~. Happy kitty, lovely kitty, purr, purr, purr~ … for me.

Light up my night Jade, keep making my life shine with your antics and bring the sun into the darkness that used to be my world. Why yes, I do want to be share a smoothie with you, thank you for asking.

Do you also want some tasty snacks kitty? Yes, you do! After you’re finished, I want to see what you’ll do with a yarn ball.

-Cheerilee-

“I wonder what they’re dreaming about.” The two were snuggled together comfortably, I shook my head and turned back to Mr. Quetzalcoatl. “Anyway that’s what Dyscalculia is and Jade has a mild or moderate form of it. I even brought a sampling of her math to try and go over it with her.”

“May I see it friend Cheerilee?” From what I know of gods, they generally just call people mortals unless they feel you are a friend and then the inflection becomes far warmer. Mr. Quetzalcoatl was a very bright god to be acquainted with and the inflection sounded just fine to me.

“You may, let me grab it first.” I climbed into the wagon a made sure to avoid the two sick girls resting, I didn’t want to wake them prematurely. Grabbing Jade’s last math worksheet, which looks like an eldritch abomination got a hold of it and I wasn’t overstating that, I got back off the wagon while thinking of the things Jade was good at.

Her writing seemed to be hit or miss, but it was generally good as she liked literature and reading well enough. She was a big fan of all kinds of adventurous stories, though I would have preferred it if she laid off the comic books even if they were literary marvels in their own way. With her magical alchemy abilities, she could actually become a super hero though.

Her science was often weird, but then again her magical alchemy kind of eschews things for her as it was a science currently unique to her family. I’ll give her a pass on that, mostly since she can break the laws of physics with a griffon feather by ceasing her momentum entirely, without injury, to jump off the air itself. As long as it didn’t involve chemistry which requires either a good grasp of chemicals or math, then Jade was good at understanding most science.

History is an odd thing, she seems to sporadically know a bit about everything and knew a decent bit about Abyssinia and its capital Panthera. She knew a lot about her home town of Palicoast, but not much really happened there. Where she really shined was in her knowledge of the various histories of deity’s like Mr. Quetzalcoatl or Ms. Sekhet.

Math was an odd subject to watch Jade try and parse her way through. Addition, subtraction, multiplication and division were simple for her. Throw in fractions, solving for P, complicated equations and anything higher like an equation that needs ‘Ponies Excel Modestly Despite Awful Situations’ and she suddenly starts messing up. It boggles the mind that she does perfectly fine at geometry, she even corrected me three times on my geometry math and that was completely amazing for her!

I gave the test paper over to Quetzalcoatl’s large left wing while explaining the rules of math that Jade knew and the problems she was having. He looked over it for the next ten or so minutes silently, before looking at me with confused expression.

“Well let me just say this, Jade is never going to be good at math. If you needed magical explosion that destroys the entire world, then she’d definitely be the one to turn to.” Okay, was there something that you just have to say about this Mr. Quetzalcoatl? Consider my attention squarely set upon you and your intelligence about Jade’s issues, I was a teacher willing to listen about any issues her students may have. “She can learn all she wants about math, but you can’t make it stick. What she is doing is writing magical equations that could cause anything from an immediate or a slowly worsening magical apocalypse, to time unraveling to the point of turning it all back on itself. The time thing would turn back on itself multiple times in large knot where past, present and future would meet together to cause a singularity event that destroys every existing timeline or dimensional parallel of this very world. She can literally write an answer to an equation so horribly, that it can possibly wipe out all of existence.”

“Is that all?” That didn’t sound so bad, at least I would be able to have time to purchase a cake before or during the end of everything.

“There’s even the small possibility of just making the current controller of the sun drop their cake on the ground and stomp it into the dirt while decrying it as the worst tasting food in existence. They will then proceed to go on to destroy every cake in existence and start wars to make absolutely sure that they end every cake in existence. I’m pretty sure it would end with all the bakers having their minds erased of being able to make cake, all cake recipes being destroyed and nobody being allowed to even mix the specific ingredients to even come close to making a cake ever again.” The horrifying words of Quetzalcoatl made me shiver and put my tail between my hind legs. That was the most horrible sounding existence ever, it was nothing at all like a Tuesday in Ponyville! “All of that would and only could happen, should someone actually be stupid enough try and attempt to use this math in a magical equation.”

At least Cthulhu had muffins when I met him. Despite the madness he caused, he was actually pretty friendly and easy to get along with for unknowable entity of immense malevolent power. At least Celestia apologized to him and prevented him from being accidentally summoned by little colts and fillies again. A part of me kind of wants to see him again, he really knew how to throw a good tea party.

“So she’s like leading a dehydrated pony to water, but they absolutely refuse to drink on the caveat that they’d kill everyone in the world.” The paper was dropped back into my waiting hooves and I was considering burning it to cinders after hearing all the horrible stuff that could happen. Celestia banning all cake and going berserk in destroying any cake related pastry being the absolute worst of them.

“Exactly what her mild dyscalculia problem translates her math as being, even gods wouldn’t survive her answers to these equations. Her math skills are just that bad!” Well that didn’t sound very good, but it must be true if Mr. Quetzalcoatl was saying it. “Just try not to give her a job where complicated math is needed. Please, for all the life on this lovely world that I wish to protect, let someone else do the math for her if she does end up with such a job!”

“Well now that I think of it, I don’t see a point in giving her a higher end math education.” No really, I actually had a good excuse that wasn’t related to the world losing cakes forever. “She already kind of got an idea of what kind of job she wants and she’s already pretty good at it and it doesn’t require much math at all.”

“Are you talking about her job as a Sun Priest?” He asked me curiously.

“No, I’m talking about her job as a professional O and O scenario designer.” That and I had a few other ideas as to what Jade could possibly get up to. “She could also work as a super hero if she wanted to, her mother thinks she’s going to write a bestiary and I think she’s going to be a professional do everything, except math, mercenary.”

“Consider me quite relieved then.” Mr. Quetzalcoatl’s accent was still a bit hard for me to pin down as to where it came from. “Goodness knows what she could do if anyone ever gave her the idea to become an evil overlord.”

-Celestia-

A shiver traveled down my spine, it was like someone had threatened to destroy all the cakes in the world. I would have retaliated with my full might had that happened, as cakes were one of the things that kept me calm. Tea does absolutely nothing for me, but apparently it was important to the economy that I kept drinking it.

I tried to have a vision about what caused the destruction of all cakes and I saw the most horrific sight. It was me, not the me as I am now, but the me I could have eventually become should something impossible and horrific against all nature occur.

Cake Destroying Celestia’s hatred for cake was so raw and her berserker like tendency to outright destroy the sugary goodness on sight was so great, I could feel her looking my direction with a snarl on face. She hated my love of cake across the divide of time and space, I could feel her eye judging me for enjoying my comfort food while Luna was still imprisoned in the moon and every day was a trial to live through comfortably.

I quickly cut off my ability to divine other possibilities, I now remembered why I stopped using my future sight so often. It always made me constantly worried and paranoid about my fourteen secret hidden cake vaults all around the castle.

“The horror… all that cake...” You know what I needed right now to forget all that? Cake!

Author's Notes:

What am I currently on and do you want some? I need to last at least one more week.

All cakes in the magical cake vaults are, of course, magically preserved.

Chapter Fifteen, Questionable: ‘Unimportant’ information.

-Arizona-

Being a normal cow was a boring life, ponies treated cows like we were livestock and most cows tended to act like it despite the capability of talking. This is why I’m rough and tumble like a bull, at least bulls have some pride and can beat up rodeo ponies.

We’re treated like second class citizens when we’re smart and strong enough to match Earth Ponies, if so many cows weren’t so lazy then we’d have something like a voice among ponies. Do we even get paid for all the milk ponies get from us?

That was one of the many thoughts that ran through my mind, thoughts other than wanting to get into a good fight and or protecting Grace from doing something airheaded.

What was I currently feeling? Well I was bored out my mind! Nothing was going on, I might have actually gone on the lemming drive if they asked me. I didn’t volunteer to go, because it sounded so boring. I kind of wished I went with them now, but it’s too late for that.

I looked to the Helping Hoof Inn after exiting the front entrance, Grace was meditating again. She wasn’t much for excitement and was kind of like that Fluttershy girl, too relaxed and comfortable with nature. Speaking of nature, look who’s coming to keep me entertained.

“Coo!” Oh look, it was the strangest animal companion of Airship Mauled. She folded her wings and landed on my left horn wrapping her flippers around it and hugging it lovingly.

I still didn’t understand what was up with this turtle, I saw it around the town in odd places and doing odd things. Snickers was really strange, but it wasn’t the wings that were the strange thing about her.

Some days I’ve seen her following Jade, which should be normal if not for the fact that she doesn’t advertise her presence to the cat. Other days I’ve seen her sneaking around and watching Fizzle curiously, Snickers had even spied on Maries a time or two by flying directly above them. She was also seen cooing at Sekhet in a bright cheerful manner and the goddess didn’t seem to mind the turtle’s presence.

The turtle just sat on top of my horn and looked down at me smiling.

“Well if you’re not going to do anything interesting up there, I guess I’ll see what everyone else is up to.” I saw at least Chick hanging around, it looked like she was doing something odd with that bow and likely knew a few good pirate stories she could tell me. I could just as well talk to Kuril or even go ask Wary Berry for a lecture about the evils of fruit, but Jacky didn’t look very busy.

Getting closer I noticed that rocks were rapidly flying away from her bow and striking distance targets.

“How are you doing that Chick?” As I approached the black feathered bird stopped and turned to me. “You couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with an arrow, even if the arrow was physically touching the barn when you fired it.”

“Can we not talk about the barn incident and the scar in my knee after I took an arrow to it? I figured out something about the bow, it’s not very good for shooting arrows… well at least not for me anyway. My bad luck has a part in that, mostly being the cause of my normal archery woes.” She took the rock she was holding, pulled it against the string and released it. “What it is really good at, is shooting anything else I can put to the string. I’ve been shooting rocks at the targets and I’ve been much more accurate since I’ve learn this bow fires other things effectively. It can even fire sunlight and shadows, provided I pull the string with nothing between it and the wood of the bow.”

The rock struck and sunk into the middle target at the edge of the bullseye, the other two targets had rocks lodged in the bullseye in multiple places.

“Coo!” Snickers raised a flipper and happily waved it to Jacky.

“Is she bothering you Zone?” Pointed a talon to the head riding turtle, Jacky seemed concerned the harmless turtle was bothering me. I was alright with it, she wasn’t that much of a novelty really.

“Not really.” I shrugged. “Is there anything interesting to do around here?”

“You could do some work with Mr. Refreshment and help him with the fruit plantation.” Here, let me respond to that visibly Jacky. I yawned audibly in a long drawn out tone. “Okay, what about talking up the assassin that wants to kill Jade, she’s good at listener.”

“Listening is just about all she can do with how well we tied her up.” Did anyone ever actually thank me for my exquisitely done knots? I’m an expert at tying ropes and using lassoes, I hardly ever get to use those skills around here. At least the physical education instructors know how to make a grueling exercise regimen, didn’t feel like exercising today. “I’m just wondering when she’ll notice that she’s untied by Kuril every night and put into a bed to be tucked in for a comfortable nights rest. She is primarily nocturnal after all, so it is actually something to worry about.”

“Oh yeah, you are the one that ties those knots. She really can’t move too much with how well you tie them and they don’t chafe either.” Taking a proud stance at Jacky’s recognition, I held my head high. “Just hope she never notices Kuril freeing her at night. Even I know sleeping in a chair is quite uncomfortable, but Kuril is kind of playing with fire where the assassin is concerned.”

“Yeah, it gives me at least something to do around here when I wake up early in the morning and there’s no school. I just don’t feel like exercising today.” I was missing Cheery already. Sure she’s a bit too perky for a teacher, but she was mostly alright. Why don’t cows ever go to school? Well technically Grace did and now I was going too. I wasn’t going to be a simpleton like so many other cows, so getting an advanced education was good and healthy for me. “So… snacks?”

“Snacks.” Jacky nodded to me in agreement as we went towards The Witch’s Fare.

“Coo… coo?!” We both stopped as we heard Snickers suddenly get excited about something, she leapt off my horn and spread her wings to fly into the restaurant as soon as the door was open.

Upon entering we saw quite a few traveling ponies, it seemed like there was actually a lunch rush going on in The Witch’s Fare. Five ponies wasn’t much of a rush, but Fresh Start and Kuril seemed happy to please them with good service.

They wouldn’t have any problems with Grace if they decided to stay at the inn for a night, nobody wanted to stay for more than two days in Airship Mauled except for Zecora. I’m kind of surprised that I did, but then again it is the weirdos who love living here and I was one of them.

There were several reasons that someone wouldn’t want to stay here. I would start with the pukwudgie attacks when you say two specific words that are banned by the mayor for a very good reason, there was the demented pranking jackalope, there’s always a chance the flying one eyed one horned purple pony eater might attack for the purple ponies that live around here, there’s a nearby forest of full of drop bears and a bunch of other odd things that happened around here. Random airships crashing on the local goddess, for which the place was named after, would be a good example of things ponies would rather avoid.

So it wouldn’t surprise me if none of these ponies were staying here and were just here for Kurilian’s cooking. It was heavenly food, but Grace preferred to go mostly grass diet with her four stomachs. I in particular liked the vegetarian chili, baked beans and mostly beans in general. At least it’s something with a little more flavor than the cruddy cud and other health foods that Grace enjoys, eating grass for the rest of my life after tasting Kuril’s food would have left me feeling horribly empty.

Snickers was hovering around two of the ponies who seemed to be talking to one another over something Kuril had cooked up for them. The stallion and the mare seemed to be quite infatuated with one another.

I wasn’t the only one watching Snickers fly little circles above them, I made my way over to Fresh Start the only pony that is capable of waking up earlier than everyone else. Between four to six in the morning like clockwork she was up and already getting started on a day. In comparison she was usually first to bed in the evening.

“Why is Snickers acting like that?” Pointing my right hoof at the fact that Snickers was happily hovering above the two ponies and watching them silently with a bright smile.

“I think she can sense the love between the two visitors.” Well that explains that much Fresh, but why was she hugging my horn earlier? Is she really just that affectionate and wants to be friends? “She’s seems to like pointing out happy couples by flying near them. Isn’t that just romantic?”

I guess she was just trying to cheer me up, but couldn’t Snickers have just continued being cute instead of getting all touchy feely with me? The two ponies kissed and the turtle threw her flippers in the air and made a soft, completely unobtrusive, hissing noise while hovering in place. She seemed quite ecstatic for the two lovers.

“Ugh, that’s a bit mushy for me.” Gagging on the air mockingly, I didn’t think I’d ever fall in love. “So can we get some snacks here?”

“Of course Arizona, I assume a party of two for you and Jacky?” You would of course be correct Fresh, which is why I and Jack were waiting to be seated.

“Yeah, there’s not really much going on around here today. Don’t honestly know why Snickers cares so much about love, it’s not like it’s that important that she hovers over them.” What I said next attracted Snickers attention with to me. “Even if she was never here, they would have loved each other all the same. Personally, I can’t see myself ever falling in love like that.”

Snickers flew over to me and looked me over with a curious glance, then her eyes took on a far more serious tone than I have ever seen on the turtle. She then fluttered over to the door to start pawing at it with both her flippers like a cat, ironic considering who her familiar bond partner is.

Jacky opened the door and let her fly free where she took off for the sky. Where was she going? Ah well, not my problem. She’d likely come back on her own. If she was supposedly smart enough to recognize and feel love, then she was smart enough to come back home eventually.

-Snickers-

Love, affection and happiness always important, I big smart for cow!

Where to find for cow though? Need contrary match.

Cold place, cool, powerful… super fluffy? Yay, I get great hugs soon!

I love fluffy and cow will like fluffy too. Show cow, I can make happy with pain!

Kitty of great bond would agree with big smart.

Missing kitty of great bond, should be returning from great quest soon. Hope she not miss me, I adventure too!

-Blade-

“Fresh get to work on the noodles!” Confusion was my world now, I didn’t feel like hurting the mother of my target. She was too friendly to hate, being a bit loose in her parenting skills was probably one of her worst problems though. “Hey, no name, could you chop these carrots and onions for me? I’ve already prepared the onions for chopping, I’m already getting started on the tomatoes, herbs and garlic. Come on now, this curd and carrot cacciatore for two isn’t going to make itself!”

I proceeded to do so and considered the fact that I was now armed with a knife and was not trying to immediately seek out my target to kill her or even get revenge against her mother. I felt kind of conflicted given how nicely I’ve been treated. Also, since when did I learn how to chop vegetables?

Sighing I held the knife in right wing more tightly and continued to carefully push the carrots with my left wing. It didn’t seem so hard to accomplish really, but I should just consider running and getting out of here before they tied me up again.

I continued to chop the vegetables… you know, instead of running for the door and spreading my wings to leave the area. The food here was almost worth more than what I was being paid to kill my target and I was getting it practically for free.

I’m not a freeloader! I may have my pride as an assassin, but that doesn’t matter at the moment when my honor required me to pay back the kindness in turn. I would never bite the hoof, claw, paw or hand that will feed me.

My previous employer probably wanted me dead for failing anyway and they never cared about feeding me or paying me upfront, so why not just stay captive here? Maybe I can even write to the local goddess about seeking amnesty.

“Uh Kuril... are you sure you should have your back to her like that?” I turned the one called Fresh Start, she was currently rolling the dough for the noodles out. “By the way two more orders, it’s just Jacky and Arizona wanting snacks. No need to fast track it, they can wait.”

“I’ve had my back to her almost constantly for the last twenty minutes I’ve been cooking.” She didn’t sound too worried about my presence. She didn’t have much to be worried about, because as an assassin I will only attack my targets from behind and you weren’t a target. “If she hasn’t stabbed me yet, then she isn’t going to.”

This Kuril was quite bold, I find myself a tad smitten with her nonchalance to my very presence.

“If anything, I wouldn’t trust her to be around Jade with her back turned.” A wise notion Kuril, as I’m still contemplating whether or not killing your daughter is a worthwhile thing to accomplish. Your food has almost has me paid off on its own weight, but I couldn’t very well tell you that now could I? “Thank you for assisting us, I’ll get you some ink, paper and a quill to write with.”

-Fluttershy-

We were on our way home with Mr. Quetzalcoatl making sure to keep dangerous creatures away from the wagon. I was with Cheerilee watching as Jade and Fizzle snuggled, coughed and sneezed in their sleep.

“Are they going to be alright Miss Cheerilee?” We’d give the wagon back after we’re done dropping of Jade and Fizzle in Airship Mauled.

“They’ll be fine friend Fluttershy.” Following along behind us was Sekhet telling Quetzalcoatl directions and discussing the boon she was owed for freeing him of being controlled.

“I’m going to agree with what Sekhet said Fluttershy.” Cheerilee eased my worries a bit. “Besides we’re almost back already.”

Chapter Fifteen, Questionable: Fireworks… the mauling kind.

-Quetzalcoatl-

“So all you want me to do is stay in this… Airship Mauled. At least for a few days so as to figure out if your hypothesis to a question is correct.” That was no boon, that was science and I was an interested party in seeing it happen. “That’s no boon, I personally have a vested interest in seeing what your questioning of the world will bring about.”

“Trust me, it will become a boon very quickly. I can’t tell you what I expect to happen without you becoming wary of my reasoning for wanting you around.” For a second it seemed like Sekhet wanted me around because I was one of the most beautiful gods she had ever seen, but it seems she has no interest in me personally.

Why is that gods can hardly ever find love without looking to mortals or outside their own pantheons? I would not keep my hopes up, though she was an exquisite looking goddess.

“Then we will see if it becomes a boon, otherwise I will still keep the boon for you open for now.” Do not think me as a cur with no honor, I always pay back what is owed. It was only right that I do so as is demanded of me.

“You also owe the Priest Jade a minor boon, she did assist me in stopping the constant rampage you had going on in Serpent Strath Path.” Thank you Sekhet, for reminding me that there was a frightening mortal that can freeze a god with her magic.

“Can she do that at all times?” I asked with a pensive feeling in my gut.

“No, she needs a specific object, one that is made well enough for her purposes. Said object is always destroyed and can only have an effect on a single thing.” At hearing Sekhet’s words I panicked, the priestess had used the power of sacrifice to stope me?! “Before you get too disturbed, Jade cannot do this to a living being and it only happens to objects she gets a hold of and uses in a specific manner.”

“Still, she’s sacrificing objects for power.” I continued to pull the wagon and all the mortals were resting as we approached this place known as Airship Mauled. I needed to confirm that the priestess wasn’t evil, then again she helped save me from evil so I had a few problems with not thinking only good of her.

“Only of a certain size and only if the object is not magically protected, the world does not see it as an aberration and it is powerful for being quite limited. The magic and energy summoned from the object returns to the world, the balance cannot be broken with this form of magic.” Those words did not ease things Sekhet, it was still quite a powerful ability. “Look at it this way, only Jade and her mother know how to do this and it’s unlikely that they will ever teach anyone how to do this stuff.”

“Are you actually telling me that anyone can do this?” That was almost scary, if mortals could fight us on even grounds then they could destroy the balance of the world.

It’s like the folly of mortals seeking immortality out of cowardice of death, they don’t know that they already have a form of immortality in being able to reincarnate anew. Seeking false immortality tended to ruin a souls reincarnation cycle, except in specific occasions when certain beings ascend into being gods of a certain concept. One just does not steal the powers of a god without consequences.

Thinking on the here and now, I first needed to fix the damage I have done to Serpent Strath Path. It should not have been several miles of harsh bedrock that the being controlling me turned it into. I will fix what I have damaged in containing my power to that area, but first I will see to what is needed of me here.

“Not just anyone and to hurt a god permanently would require very specific amount of circumstances as you may very well know. Such as another god making an object that a mortal can wield in an offensive manner and then having it used against you in such a manner. Jade and her mother don’t have to power to act directly against us, so stop worrying about that.” Sekhet was a goddess of war, I had almost forgotten that. She was quite correct in stating that mortals couldn’t really compare to us in power unless mitigating circumstances led to it. I was still quite paranoid after having my body and powers controlled by whatever that demon was. “They also have the logical weakness that they are limited by what they can carry, that and the objects are easily destructible. Your fears show your weakness, was it a mortal that took control of your body? No, but a unicorn or other magical creatures can possibly create a spell to that effect. Learn to protect yourself from being captured or having your powers stolen and abused, it would be wise of a god of intelligence to learn from the past.”

“I will see to protecting my mind war goddess and will find a way to prevent myself from being controlled again.” Taking a moment to think on I finally made a decision, other than to research protection against mortals attacking me. Have they have all forgotten my good deeds? “I will also give the young priestess a boon.”

“When you give her a minor boon, remember these words. Souls are sacred, they should not have any outside influence affecting them. It is the choice of the soul itself to make good or bad decisions.” She looked into my eyes with the fires of war and I could feel justice both harsh and merciful, she was powerful and had not gone all out against me. She had only used the right amount of power to free me, she was almost as cold and calculating as a god of intelligence. War and intelligence shared the ability to outsmart one another, but it always depended on the battlefield as a fight will always favor a war god in action. “After saving yours, you will not tarnish or even think of messing with hers. You may be of intellect and can possibly win a battle against me, but I will always win the war. So please, don’t do anything stupid Quetzalcoatl!”

“I hear and will acquiesce, I give my word that I will not touch her soul. My boon will be nowhere near as daunting as trying to make her my champion, not when she’s already considered gifted by the sun itself.” The stare continued for a few more seconds and then Sekhet dropped it before flaring out her right wing and paw.

“Then welcome to Airship Mauled, leave your sanity at the door!” With that Sekhet started towards the place called The Witch’s Fare, it looked like a restaurant built out of a crashed airship. Quite a novel and excellently named hamlet, which seems to have a unique theme here. Considering how many airships I have caused to crash by causing storms around Serpent Strath Path, I could aid in giving them a few more wreckages to use as a free gift with no strings attached. I’d clean up those derelict airships that nobody was using anymore and would give them to this place. “No seriously, don’t expect anything normal from anyone who lives here, I even know a magical chef and she can cook better than some gods I know. Goodness knows if Hapi and Taweret the hippos will send another invitation to a harvest feast... where are they… Taweret was said to have regenerative powers and Jade may know about that as well and might go looking. Yeah, might as well ask if she knows.”

I stopped listening to her idle muttering about the gods of her pantheon and winced at the thoughts of the gods in my own. My rival Tezcatlipoca comes to mind, as does Cipactli who wasn’t the friendliest god, his never ending hunger is quite frightening to behold.

My pantheon is quite messed up, but at least I wasn’t part of the Fae pantheon… that was several levels of screwed up that every other pantheon avoids to the best of their abilities. All the other pantheons avoided talking to any of them for many good reasons.

-Kuril-

The cacciatore was exclaimed to be completely delicious, the lovely couple were enjoying it quite a bit as much as they were enjoying one another. I should see about making a special hearts and hooves

I turned to the mysterious stranger who was a deft hoof at using knives, in fact her cutie mark seemed to be oriented around wielding bladed weaponry and she could definitely get into cooking. Now if only she had a teacher… hm… I wonder who that could be.

No, seriously, who could that be? Maybe Cheerilee… but she doesn’t know how to cook much. I could teach her how to cook and then she could teach this bat pony a thing or two.

“Say Fresh do you think I can teach Cheerilee to cook so she can teach no name here to cook?” Why was I getting such an incredulous stare from my waitress?

“Can’t you just teach her yourself?” Good question, let me give you a good rebuttal for that.

“I don’t have the license to teach cooking outside of getting an apprentice in Abyssinia laws, which are not applicable here.” There was that strange look again.

“You are currently living within Equestria’s borders Kuril.” No one could appreciate such a flat tone Fresh, put a little more pizzazz in your disdain!

“I hold a dual citizenship, since I don’t know the equestrian laws pertaining to hiring help I have to go with Abyssinia laws until told otherwise. You were hired by Celestia so I don’t have to worry about you being a legal quandary.” Now I was receiving a thoughtful look, she was about to say something when we both heard the bell on the front door going off. We had more customers! “Fresh Start, get out there and see who it is. We’ll discuss this later, for right now no name is volunteering of her own free will to help. Isn’t that right no name?”

The mare’s mane and tail have grown out minutely in captivity, she was no longer sporting a shaved look and would soon be cute enough to cuddle outright.

She just rolled her golden eyes at me and went back to chopping up some vegetables in preparation for more customers.

-Fresh-

“Hello and welcome to the… oh hello Sekhet, how did the thing with the lemming go?” I looked at the handsome feathered serpent snake thing next to her. “Also did you bring a date with you to our fine establishment?”

“Barking up the wrong tree mortal and the trip went particularly well. Tend to Quetzalcoatl’s needs, I will be busy waking up our friends.” So… does that mean the nice looking flying serpent was single? I might take him if Sekhet wasn’t interested.

“I heard there was great food here fit for a god, please tell me mortal… what would you suggest and may I get a table for one?” So he was a god, that makes sense given he’s a friend of Sekhet’s.

“Well today, our ‘Witch of Good Taste’ mayor Kurilian La Perm can make just about anything and is willing to please your sense of taste.” This is where I started the whole ritual of selling our cuisine. If you didn’t know what you want, then give us a good idea to work with. “If she can make it taste good, then she’s succeeding as a witch that makes quite a fine tasty dish. So what you should be telling me is this… what’s you’re flavor, what do you feel like having for a meal? We only use fish meat when specifically asking for meat, so if you want some of that then you just have to ask.”

“I am thinking something along the lines of say… something with corn, cabbage and fish meat.” Nodding to our customer as I seated him at a table, more like left him floating slightly above the chair, I went back to give Kuril an idea as to what his tastes currently are.

“Kuril, something with fish, cabbage and corn!” Those words I said caused a mad smile to appear on Kuril’s face, she always did like a challenge to her cooking.

“Corned fish chowder or corned fish stew?” She always gave me the option when she had too many ideas to work with here. “I’m making this salty either way.”

“He doesn’t seem like a cheese or cream kind of guy, go with the stew and make it a bit zesty.” Nodding she set about preparing the food and ordering us around, not where I thought I’d be in life after Celestia ordered me here. Still wouldn’t trade this place for the world though. “Oh and he’s a winged snake god or something, so probably nothing too outrageous. By the way your daughter is back, so keep a watchful eye on the assassin.”

I was making sure that Kuril was aware that she may try something now that Jade was back.

-Blade-

My ears twitched, my target was back. So what to do? I was still following Kuril’s orders and I couldn’t find the wherewithal to deny them.

Why would I deny them to attack the priestess that’s protected by two different gods that can rip me a new one? I’m not stupidly suicidal and I’m not being paid enough to kill the priest, there’s also the chimera that disappeared from the restaurant as soon as there was some business coming in. Who knows where they were and they obviously wouldn’t be happy about the priest disappearing or dying given how close they were to her.

Why was life so complicate now? I was done with cutting vegetables now, so maybe I should just sit down and relax for a bit and contemplate my future. I could already guess being an assassin wasn’t going to cut it for me, but what was I supposed to do now? Learn how to cook? I don’t think I’d be very good at it.

-Jade-

We were both woke up and informed that we were home by Sekhet. Despite being under the weather, we made it home alive.

Only something was happening with Fizzle, she sneezed and her horn fired a bolt three feet and it exploded in a shower of multiple colors.

“Look straight up Fizzy, aim those sneezes towards the sky!" I looked at her in alarm, she covered her mouth and tried to hold back another sneeze.

Looking up, she sneezed. Her head moved slightly forward while firing a burst of light into the sky that exploded colorfully.

Quetzalcoatl came outside towards the wagon to see what was going on, that’s when Fizzle really started sneezing like she had hay fever and she started looking tired as each sneeze launched a blast of colorful magic into the evening sky.

“Beautiful...” Quetzalcoatl commented loudly. “What is that noise... why are you wearing a blindfold Sekhet?”

I knew what the blindfold meant, I could already hear the sound of two whistling noises heading right for us.

I grabbed Fizzle and ran. Two flaming Viking styled airships were crashing here in Airship Mauled.

Author's Notes:

Sekhet Airship Crushed Meter: *Ding!* 12.5871273287. (May be slightly broken, it should be 9.5 airships a week.)

Quetzalcoatl- Mauled by an airship guest counter: *Dong* 1.5. (Halfway crushed by the second airship, most of the way crushed by the first.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PbD3I9eumM

Chapter Sixteen, Fishing with Vikings: Thinking ensues.

-Jade-

I woke up with hooves wrapped around me, I was going to be a cuddle toy for the rest of my life. I guess I’m okay with that, but I was definitely discussing this with Fizzle. We needed to talk instead of just showing each other we cared.

Sleeping with my nose clogged up was hard, but I somehow managed to resist suffocating in my sleep. I wonder how things went last night, Sekhet probably didn’t need sleep and would know if anything important happened last night.

I’m not surprised that Fizzle accidentally shot down two Viking ships with requisite Viking warriors piloting them. It was bound to happen by accident eventually.

As to be expected of crashing airships, Sekhet took it like a boss. Quetzalcoatl… not so much and he hadn’t expected it. Instead Quetzalcoatl just watched us as I dragged Fizzle away, Fluttershy and Cheerilee were already clear of the crash zone.

Nobody got hurt, except for the two gods of course. They survived it perfectly fine, though I find Sekhet’s response to the incoming airships silly in how accepting she was that it was going to happen. I got to see Quetzalcoatl’s comical wide eyed stare, as I ran for it while dragging Fizzle with me.

What happened afterwards was not going to be entirely unexpected, but everyone decided to ignore the Vikings and get some rest.

It was probably not the best idea to leave two differing groups of Vikings to their devices, but we weren’t going to deal with it. I and Fizzle needed rest, Fluttershy needed to go home and Cheerilee was tired from keeping lemmings in line the whole trip. I never said it, but I think fillies and colts are kind of like lemmings.

“Fizzy, wake up.” I gently started to poke Fizzle with my tail.

“Mm… what is it Jade?” Well Fizzle, you were too comfortable with snuggling me a little too much and you were a little too clingy. Not that being clingy was a bad thing, but I felt like we were not doing this two way street thing correctly. She sleepily opened her wonderful eyes slightly. “What do you want?”

I would maybe like for you, Fizzle, to respect that I may need space from you sometimes and that you could at least ask me to sleep next to you instead of assuming I would do so automatically.

I only currently do so because I like you as a friend and possibly more, I was willingly sacrificing my own personal comfort for your needs.

I feel awkward about your closeness to me being built upon my helping you use your magic with a stopgap method, but I appreciate your affection more than you could ever imagine.

You could stand to use your magic more often and eventually get a handle on it to a point that you won’t need your horn restored to fully utilize it. It might have been draining to use your magic due to the large bleed off, but you have proven successfully powerful enough to sneeze airships out of the air. If you grew how much magic you could store through flexing it like a muscle, then the bleed off wouldn’t feel so bad.

Preferably, I think you needed to learn how to be a strong independent mare that’s not always going to be too reliant on me Fizzle, or even agree with everything I do. You needed at least some level of self-reliance that you could act autonomously and lead a more healthy social life.

I wanted you to be able to look me in the eyes and tell me exactly when I’ve done something wrong or that I have upset you in some way when necessary. You do not need to bottle up your old emotional scars, I wanted you to let go of them and move forward with your head held high.

Despite Just about every friend you have was because I made that friend first. You were kind of my first friend that wasn’t a god or my mother. When you make a friend on your own Fizzle, it will certainly be a very magical moment for you.

I also wanted you to be able to recognize your own worth, not only as my friend, but as my special some pony in a still budding relationship. What we had could become an enduring love if nurtured correctly, it was still quite fragile at the moment. In this train of thought, I would like for you to learn how to sleep by yourself so that I may be able to do things with some sense of privacy again.

I didn’t want to say any of that to your face… and didn’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you that you had flaws. Flaws that I've recently noticed and weren’t related to you defining yourself by your horn or magic. Not when you could define yourself as Fizzlepop Berrytwist and make yourself whatever you wanted to be.

A cutie mark never really sets a pony in stone and tells them what they can’t do, it only shows them what they excel at most.

I didn’t mind that you or others pointed out my flaws, if it makes any of you feel better. Being bad at math being the given one that I readily recognize. I was also sometimes a jerk, I wasn’t an outright hero, stealing could be necessary at times and I could do very questionable things.

I tried to keep myself grounded despite being capable of so much more with magical alchemy, it wasn’t easy to not go on a total power trip when I used some of my magical alchemy items. There was also always that temptation to abuse my sun given ability in the back of my mind, the fire that was still going out there. I could do so much with that, but I chose not to.

“I need to use the litter box and do my morning sun salutation.” I said after a few minutes after letting the silence continue while I was in my thoughts. To the litter box, then I would also blow my nose quite a few times and see if mom could get to work on some sinus searing soup. To achieve this, I would first need to get Fizzle to stop getting my fur covered in her snot. “Also could you please stop using me as a living tissue Fizzy?”

“Sorry… Jade… go do cat things.” Muttered the still drowsy Fizzle who released me. “Will help… apologize… later.”

Not all Abyssinian’s did cat things, despite almost all of our buildings having prime scratching post materials included somewhere in the design. The buildings weren’t great scratching poses, but they worked in a pinch.

Maybe I can talk to her about me brushing her mane and tail once in a while, since she’s so dead set on brushing my hair to the point that it looks nice. She wasn’t really picky about me not being feminine, likewise I wasn’t picky about her being more geared towards being a rough and tumble pony.

Making my way downstairs, I heard the noise of battle going on outside and ignored it to see Fresh Start already preparing the restaurant. Apparently mom was going to get some business today.

“Hey Fresh… is mom in the kitchen.” Snorting loudly, I was still quite under the weather and needed to bathe after having a Fizzle rub her nose all over me.

“Yeah, she’s already preparing soup for you and Fizzle. She also told me to tell you this in these exact words.” The maid turned waitress inhaled and I could see Fresh was gearing up for a shout at me. “Go back to bed and wait for me to bring the soup up. While I know you don’t like spicy things Jaded, it can’t be helped when it makes breathing easier while your sinuses are messed up. Also milk is bad for congested people.”

“What, no yelling?” Consider me slightly disappointed, I was about to sneeze when a hoof cupped a tissue over my nose and took a wad of my phlegm in it. She held out the tissue box and I took it reverently from her hoof, she then point behind me. “Oh… you wanted to do the yelling yourself.”

“I’m not going to yell Jaded, now get your tail up to bed.” Being the motherly figure that she portrayed herself as, mom ran her fingers over my ears and rubbed at them gently making me mewl in protest. “Get moving kitten.”

“One thing first, what’s going on outside?” The doors to the restaurant opened and I peered through them. Griffons, yaks and dragons were fighting each other valiantly in a random manner outside and in walked Sekhet looking perfectly fine.

“Eh, the Vikings are fighting one another for sport and I’m officiating it as the local goddess of war.” Rolling her eyes Sekhet took long striding steps towards me looking happy. “I heard all that stuff they’re doing out there is quite normal for them. Also none of them have died or have been permanently injured yet and that’s kind of amazing after they’ve been fighting outside all night. I mean that quite literally if you can’t guess. Sit there and let me hold the door open for you.”

Thus began the show to something really dumb.

“I am not Jormungandr!” Quetzalcoatl screamed at all the Vikings trying to attack him with thrown spears, after a moment they all stopped.

“Die Fafnir!” One of the Viking yaks shouted.

“Hey, isn’t Fafnir like a fake dragon guy that was cursed or something?” One of the Viking dragons asked.

“He doesn’t look like a dragon.” After a griffon Viking said that, now all the Vikings stopped to converse on the likelihood of Quetzalcoatl being Fafnir. “He looks like a serpent to me.”

“I am not Fafnir either!” He seemed a bit angry, but at least Quetzalcoatl wasn’t attacking any of them.

“That’s exactly what Jormungandr would say!” The previous Viking yak said loudly.

“Rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble!” All the other Vikings chanted for a short bit, even the ones who not minutes ago were beating each other senseless with various weapons. Notably the ground was littered with shattered wooden shields.

“You do have to realize that that actually makes absolutely no sense.” Quetzalcoatl tried to reason with the crowd. It was quite unfortunate for him that they were Vikings and idiocy knows no bounds. “I can’t possibly be both of them!”

“Which is exactly the statement Ouroboros would make!” The yak yelled while waving his sword wildly. “Rabble, rabble!”

“Rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble!” The Vikings in the general area started chanting again.

“Isn’t Ouroboros the same thing as Jormungandr?” Tried Quetzalcoatl in the hopes that they might see reason, he didn’t understand the principle of the argument here.

“See, he admits that he knows what he is!” The same Viking yak yelled loudly.

“Do I look long enough to be world spanning snake?” This was pretty amusing so far, wonder how Quetzalcoatl was going to convince the Vikings to leave him alone.

“You could just be having a bad day!” The Viking yak commented idly before adding. “It’s either that or you’ve recently lost a lot of weight. You were really quite fat Jormunboros, glad to see you finally taking your health into an account.”

“Okay now you’re just being a jerk good sir.” The general gasps throughout the crowd let Quetzalcoatl know that all the Vikings were now focused on him. “What… what did I say?”

“Ouroboros nor Jormungandr would ever say sir, they don't have honor as yak!” The Viking yak trailed off thinking hard about something, hard enough that smoke started rising from his head. “So that must mean…”

“That means what?” At this point Quetzalcoatl was quite beleaguered by the idiocy of these mortals, they’ve been attacking him for a while now. Not one of them has managed to do worse than both the flaming airships crashing into him.

“That this isn’t Fafnir?” One of the various Viking dragons asked dumbly.

“No, not Fafnir, it is obviously Nidhoggr!” All the Vikings started nodding and agreeing to that and chatting admirably among themselves.

“Sounds about right to me.” One of the griffons commented loudly.

“He’s not female enough to be Wadjet.” A Viking dragon agreed while nodding.

“He could be crossdressing!” Now all the Vikings looked less confident that Quetzalcoatl was male and were giving him eerie leers and appraising looks.

“Oh come on, that’s not even in the right pantheon anymore!” Complained Quetzalcoatl who should have just left things well enough alone at this point.

“We Vikings are well read, we read many books by hitting them with our weapons!” The Viking yak that seemed to be the spokesperson for them declared. “Rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble!”

“Okay I’ve had enough of this, get that soup up to me and Fizzle soon." There was only so much dumb I could take and these Vikings were kind of dim.

“A word before you go Jade, will you please do us the honor of going on a date with you?” it seemed Maries were eager to hear my response, I just stared at them for a long while. Maria spoke up. “We wish to take you fishing!”

I opened my mouth to say something to that, only to be cut off from saying anything by another head.

“Not today obviously, you are still ill our friend. We want to do this when both you and Fizzle are feeling better.” At least Mara and Maries as a whole understood that I wasn’t feeling too well today, what was Marie going to say now? She usually spoke up when Mara and Maria had a turn and I wasn’t disappointed when the snake head turned to give me puppy dog eyes. The effect was ruined because it was a snake doing the puppy dog eyes thing. “Please, go out with us?”

“Fine, when I’m better, now if you’ll excuse me I have tissues to deliver to Fizzle and a bath to take.” For a second it looked like I was about to get pounced upon. “Don’t pounce on me, you don’t want to get sick too!”

“We agree, we shouldn’t get sick and will let matriarch Kuril take care of you.” The three heads of Maries said to me while nodding and then they went to sit down at a table.

“It’s quite interesting around here darling.” The pegasus mare turned to the male unicorn and nuzzled.

“Yes, a breath of fresh air, we might just stay here another day.” The two snuggled up to and kissed one another as I made my way up the stairs. “I must admit, I thought for a second that the Vikings were all very dangerous after seeing them come here last night. They are too dumb to really mean any intentional harm except to each other.”

Ah, it was good to be home.

-Fizzle, twenty minutes later-

I really needed something to disable my horns magic… I needed Sekhet! Jade walked in looking as miserable as I felt, it looks like she had washed off all the snot.

“Jade go get Sekhet and have her come up her to disable my magic for a while.” I pointed out a large circular scorch mark on the wall, of which she noticed immediately. “I don’t want my sneezing to destroy our home.”

Jade sighed, turned around and left to go get Sekhet.

Author's Notes:

I am so tired after the fourth of July, 'Explosion Day' was fun though.

I got to explode twice.

Chapter Sixteen, Fishing with Vikings: Talking ensues.

-Fizzle-

Two empty bowls sat off to the side, my tongue was still burning and Jade had whined about having to eat spicy food.

“Okay, what’s wrong Jade?” I don’t want her to try playing innocent with me, not after eating mom’s sinus searing soup without warning me what I was getting into. At least it made breathing a little easier and I could smell the world again, I was currently wishing I couldn’t though given I could smell what I just ate. My nostrils were fried.

“Nothing…” Well that was an obvious lie if I ever heard one.

Currently there was no attempt to look innocent on Jade’s face. In fact she didn’t seem to be laughing, not even a giggle at my reaction to eating the soup. It wasn’t bad with crackers, but it was like drinking liquid rainbow and I could understand why Jade had a distaste for spicy things. Mom obviously likes to spice things up a little too hard.

Jade’s ears wilted, but she still leaned against me closing her eyes and sighing loudly. I felt her tail wrapped around my back and appreciated it, if there wasn’t some kind of niggling problem here with my friend. Abyssinian body language was very different from a ponies if similar, at least as far as I know that’s how it was.

“Let me guess, it’s something that you think will make me upset with you?” She nodded and rubbed her face up against my neck affectionately. She’s helped me a lot, but that wasn’t the only reason I liked her was it? Nope, she’s beautiful in her own unique way and she cares about me enough to do strange and bizarre things to make me happy.

I had to admit it was getting pretty easy for me to read Jade, I liked her a lot and we’ve only been on one date. Not necessarily enough to say it would be forever or a lasting commitment, but we had plenty of time to go on more to make sure and I was already calling her my special some cat. Oh, she was special alright for a certain definition of the word, but she was definitely my friend. I didn’t think many other unicorns or even other ponies would look twice at me like Jade does when she looks into my eyes. I didn’t even know if it was a standard date, but I knew I liked how much fun we had that day.

I rubbed at my horn, Sekhet could disable any kind of pony magic. She couldn’t disable Celestia though, likely because they are on the same level. Now my sneezes weren’t destructive and I honestly didn’t feel like I was missing much to have my horn disabled like this. I turned to Jade with a question on my lips.

“Is this about your birthday?” Maybe there was something I could figure out for her birthday, she’s made so many sweet gestures for me and I want to give her something special too. She shook her head no. “Then what is it? You’re not about to do something insane again are you?”

“Nothing dangerous Fizzy, though I did agree to go on a date with Maries to go fishing.” Was that all you were worried about Jade, for a second you had me believing something was off with you.

“Are you worried about that?” What could I say to make you feel better about that? “I don’t think that Maries will ever hurt you if you are stuck alone with them for a while. Also I don’t understand how you dating them could upset me.”

“Well it could or even possibly should upset you, you’re rather clingy and you have problems sleeping alone.” That doesn’t seem like a big issue Jade, not to me at least. “What I’m truly worried about is not you being jealous of Maries, though you are jealous of their physical prowess and might even feel threatened by their incredible intelligence. Okay so I am a bit worried about that as well, but how do you see relationships exactly? Ponies have herds, chimera have packs, but I’m sure mom has given you the talk and what Abyssinians are like.”

“Yes, there were a few things I really didn’t feel the need to know, but now I do.” Trying not to think about it too hard, I had an answer for her question. “I think having a relationship like my friendship with you, Jacky and Maries is wonderful. On a different point I’m kind of socially awkward, but then again so are you. That’s not an issue and I’m still trying to figure out romantic love. Are you asking if I’d be willing to share you with Maries? Is that what you thought I’d be upset about?”

“No, but sharing with Maries might actually become an issue. We’ll bring it up again much later, because I don’t feel like discussing that right now.” Okay Jade, then what was the real issue here, narrowing my eyes on her caused her to look away. “I’m worried about you Fizzy… that you’re kind of leaning on me too much.”

“I think you’re the one currently leaning on me here Jade.” Though I admit that I was afraid of where you were going with this.

“No, what I mean is that I think your using me and mom as a crutch and you can’t possibly do that forever.” Ah, you might have a point there Jade and I could kind of see where this was going. I could practice with my magic more, imbuing wood with various effects was increasing my control bit by bit. “You need to become a bit more independent of me. Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that I and mom are currently not your whole world? You’re not exactly great at surviving on your own and may have an unhealthy obsession with me and I want to be sure that you don’t so that we can keep going on like we are.”

“Hey, I know how to make a fire, shelter and find clean drinking water!” I went through Sekhet’s physical education classes to have a healthy body and can defend myself.

I didn’t really push myself further outside of those classes though. I trained with my magic, but I tired so easily and didn’t want to strain myself. Did I really have any hobbies that were my own? What did I occupy my time with that wasn’t Jade related? Okay I needed to find a hobby, even Jacky had her archery to mess around with.

“You didn’t know how to make a fire without using your horn before I taught you. When you make a fire with your horn, how long did it tend to last compared to making a fire with your hooves?” Jade was actually making a good point. The fire I made by hoof lasted longer than the ones where I just simply used my magic to ignite the wood. “You handle yourself well in dangerous situations, which is better than most ponies in existence Fizzy. I don’t think a normal pony would have rammed their hooves into a basilisk’s nostrils to prevent themselves from being eaten or bitten. Do you know how poisonous a basilisk is?”

“I don’t really know, but you’re the monster or creature expert Jade.” There wasn’t a creature in this world that my friend couldn’t identify. “I hope you know Fluttershy looks up to you for that.”

“Yeah, she does and I feel kind of awkward about it.” Look Jade, don’t be so modest, you are amazing in so many ways. “Basilisk venom, what to say about it? In general the basilisk itself should instill fear in just about anyone who meets one, the venom of one is far scarier than facing down a grue, a catoblepas and a banshee at the same time.”

“I only know about banshees.” There was something I didn’t understand here. Banshees weren’t evil, but Jade implied that they were. “Don’t they just warn those who are unlikely to survive something?”

“Yes, that’s true enough, but that warning always comes in the form of a shriek so loud as to incidentally deafen the one they are trying to save.” Which of course would be bad from the way Jade stated that negatively. “Given that you immediately become disoriented and deaf when a banshee shrieks, you are even more likely to die than less because of the banshee attempting to save you. That’s why they get such a reputation for being evil spirits, it’s because they always make you vulnerable to the dangers that can be found around them.”

“So what’s a catoblepas and a grue?” I can imagine a cat like monster for the Catoblepas, but I had no idea what a grue was.

“A catoblepas is a plant eating monster that looks like a buffalo, only they can never look up and are always looking at the ground. They have scales under their fur that are tough as iron, but that’s not what makes them dangerous. It’s their breath, they release a toxic fog that affects any living being around them, for whatever part of you that the fog touches will quickly turn to stone. If you are turning to stone because of this fog, it is best to turn to stone by fully diving into the fog. At least you’ll have a chance to be revived in that case. Unlike a cockatrice, the stoning is not progressive process from the ground up.” You were giving me the description of a very dangerous sounding creature Jade, far more so than a cockatrice. You can easily avoid looking a cockatrice in the eyes, a catoblepas can kill you by proximity. “The grue is far worse, but easier to avoid, but for the sake of your sanity I won’t try to describe it.”

“Oh come on Jade, I’m not a little filly here! A catoblepas doesn’t sound that aggressive, just lonely.” It could never make a friend, because with every breath it turns any active life to stone.

“Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you, hearing about grues tends to lead to paranoia that you’re going to be eaten by one.” Clearing her throat Jade took on an airy tone. “A grue is a creature of darkness and teeth with an endless hunger for flesh, it moves swiftly and is impossibly fast in the shadows or might be the shadows themselves. They are usually found in deep caves like those that Diamond Dogs are known to dig and a single one can strip you of your flesh in a minute. The only way to fend one off is with light, which will make it stay away because that’s what hurts and slows them down immensely. One thing to know is that grue are crafty and if they can stop or put out the light source, then they will do so as quickly as they can.”

“Now I’m officially afraid of the small caves that I spent some nights in previously where I thought I was safe the deeper in I was.” Could a grue have tried to eat me? I felt a chill running down my spine, that might be Jade's tail. “And the Basilisk venom?”

“You die in ten seconds within contact of a basilisk’s venom. Specifically contact, meaning it doesn’t necessarily even need to go inside you, they are called king of serpents or snakes for a reason. If that doesn’t happen, then you’re strong enough to learn that the venom is acid that propagates itself on any source of blood and will melt you from the inside out.” That couldn’t be real Jade. If it was then how close had I come to dying? How close had you?! She was looking into my eyes with no hint of humor, I should consider myself lucky to be alive. “If you for whatever reason prove immune to acid, then the venom starts attacking your pain receptors on and off constantly with increasing strength to the point that you will eventually die from shock. Survive the death by shock phase and then venom will just petrify you. Immune to turning to stone? Catch fire. Immune to fire? Venom draws in ambient magic and explodes violently. If none of that kills you, then congratulations, you just survived a basilisk biting you and you are possibly immortal at this point!”

“Yikes.” She waited specifically for me to let the first part of what she said sink in, then she said the second part to drive home the point.

“Yep, most poisonous snake alive. Doesn’t help that it can also turn the ground around it into a swamp to come at you from any angle and can flex its scales out to shred any problematic prey into bite sized chunks.” Jade, I get the idea, it was seriously deadly and cut us up pretty badly. “We almost lost you and that scared me, imagine if its tail or scales had been poisonous.”

I shivered violently, but Jade just wraps me in a nice warm hug.

-Jade-

“This world is full of dangerous creatures like that, but if it had bit either of us I’d have ten second to cast a phoenix feather.” Calming down at my words, she could at least see that we could have survived being bitten. I don’t think I will ever go anywhere without a phoenix feather on me. “So what do you plan to do for the future Fizzle? Jacky has airship repair, infamous archer, famous explorer and pirate going for her future. I don’t have much for myself personally, maybe get paid for being a sun priest as it seems like a pretty thankless thing to be otherwise. I could definitely publish a book about my knowledge of creatures, monsters and gods. Maries is already a lawyer, they could do many things like being actors for a one being stage play.”

Fizzle snickered at the idea of Maries being a one chimera show.

“I haven’t really thought to far ahead Jade. I could get into making fireworks, I could make drinks with Mr. Refreshment or even get control of my magic to a degree that I don’t need to get my horn back and prove that a broken horn is not the end of life as a unicorn.” As Fizzle spoke I rested my head against her. “I guess what I really want to be is… an inspiration of some kind. I’ll try to be a little more independent Jade, you don’t need to worry about me as much as I obviously do about you!”

“Trust me, you are an inspiration to me Fizzy.” Pecking her on the cheek, I smiled slightly and said something that made her blush. Adversity would never stop this pony from living her life. “Quite a beautiful one too.”

“Hey guys, I know you’re sick, but look at what I found beneath one of the airships!” Jacky bursts into the room holding a male red flying squirrel in her talons. It had impossibly long ears for a squirrel.

“You found that squirrel beneath one of the airships?” How did it survive the… oh my goodness. Really now! “Jacky, that’s not a normal flying squirrel.”

“It’s not?” The squirrel in Jacky’s talons gave me the stink eye.

“You’re holding a squirrel god called Ratatoskr the mischievous messenger.” I smirked. “He’s also known as Mr. Face Plow.”

The squirrel leapt for me in a blind frothing rage.

Author's Notes:

Guest god's hit with airships: 2.5 (Apparently Ratatoskr fell off one of the airships he was riding on and was crushed by it. It is also coming to attention that these counters are inconsistently named.)

Chapter Sixteen, Fishing with Vikings: Introductions ensues.

-Jacky-

“Come on Captain, you got him on the ropes!” How was I supposed to know the squirrel was a god, he was just so adorable, cute and innocent looking.

“What are you talking about, he’s kicking my ass all over the room Jacky!” Ducking back out of the doorway as Jade shot past me, I winced as she became embedded in Fizzle’s wall. That’s a really strong squirrel.

“Well maybe he doesn’t like the fact that you made fun of his teeth Captain.” This was kind of on me because I brought rata-whatever here, but what Jade said had been pretty mean.

“But his name literally translates to Mr. Face Plow… agh!” There goes Captain sliding into a roll across the floor and Fizzle was trying to help her fight off the exceptionally angry squirrel.

They weren’t doing all too well against the super strong squirrel, not to mention they were still somewhat sick and still healing from the injuries they got on their trip. They were being bruised quite badly, the Captain probably needed to have her bandages reapplied and Fizzle was now starting to whimper from the floor where she was tossed.

“Okay, that’s enough out of you!” I pulled out a clean plunger, put it to the bow and shot the squirrel mid leap, the plunger nailed him head on and stuck him to the wall with his entire body trapped by the suction cup. “Look Mr. Face Plow or Rata-whatever your name is, I thought you were cute and friendly when I dug you out from under that ship. My friends are already injured enough, and they’re sick. What kind of god are you if you beat up people for the slightest of sleights against you! Look at them, they are already bad enough and you’re just making their recovery time take longer. You should be ashamed to call yourself a god!”

The flying squirrel’s anger abated and he looked ashamed of himself, he hung his cute little head with those adorable long ears and his tail straightened out considerably. I think I chastised him quite well, he looked quite remorseful about his overreaction to Jade’s words.

“Yeah, not exactly the greatest of the gods to me or Fizzle at the moment Jacky. I’m going to stick with Sekhet if it’s all the same to you.” A very understandable thing Captain La Perm, but I had something to say to you as well.

“Captain I know you were trying a joke to brighten up your mood and while it was admittedly funny, you hurt Mr. Face Plow’s feelings.” Putting my fists to my hips, I gave my captain a disappointed look.

“Says the parrot who said the same name that you stated sounds insulting to him.” Yes Captain, that happened and I did just say that, but you didn’t need to point it out so bluntly . “Again his name is Ratatoskr, I guess we’ll call him Rata to make things easier on ourselves.”

“I’m good with Rata.” One does not need to go exploring the world nearly as much when the world kept coming to you here at Airship Mauled, it was interesting to see so many strange and wonderful things like the hunky griffon Vikings outside. I didn’t even know a squirrel could be a god or so physically capable until a few minutes ago. I turned to the cute squirrel struggling to push the plunger off of his body, the suction was the only thing keeping him on the wall and it was holding strong. “Are you okay with being called Rata?”

The red flying squirrel god stopped struggling for a moment and looked a bit thoughtful, then he rolled his eyes and focused on me before nodding his head in acceptance to the idea. Okay, we are now definitively calling him Rata!

“Next time Jade, don’t antagonize a god. Not even Rata.” Fizzle sent Jade a glare, but she soon got up and moved over to Jade to cuddle up against her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, if covered in bruises and some minor scratches. Oh and I think my chest wound is bleeding slightly.” The Captain was more than a little frazzled looking as she leaned into Fizzle’s hug. “What about you Fizzy?”

“I’m fine Jade, but seriously stop challenging gods with the ability to physically paw us our butts.” Well to be fair Fizzle, Jade couldn’t possibly have expected that something so small to be capable of lifting and throwing you both around. I watched Fizzled lift up Jade’s shirt and then she turned to me. “Jacky go get the medical kit so we can wrap more bandages around her, I can see red peeking through these.”

I thought that Jade and Fizzle were cute together, but right now there was something I needed to tell them after pulling Rata off the wall.

“Okay hold on a second while I pull Rata down.” I gripped the plunger with both talons and pulled, with a loud pop Rata was free and patting down his fur. “After I’m done getting the medical kit, I’m going to try and find a handsome Viking griffon to talk up.”

“I suggest you be careful with that.” Jade warned while wince and clutching at her chest. “Viking’s can be a little weird at time.”

-A few days later, Jade-

“I’m definitely feeling so much better now, so did anything happen with the Vikings that I might have missed Sekhet?” I would never look at squirrels the same way again, but at least Ratatoskr became friendly after we apologized to one another.

Still Ratatoskr was known for his mischievous streak and he had yet to really do anything like that, it had me kind of on edge. Speaking of small animals, where was my favorite turtle friend Snickers? She’d usually be bugging me for affection by now.

“Not much, they are still arguing with Quetzalcoatl about what he is, also the restaurant seems to be getting a large crowd every day and you’re mother’s cooking is a hit. The Vikings are paying well for the food at least.” That’s when Sekhet did something unusual, she came over to me and gave me a quick hug. “The fighting isn’t horrible and it’s actually entertaining for me to watch some pros go at it without permanently harming themselves, they actually recognize my importance as a war goddess around here. It’s actually a pretty incredible feat for them to not do more than scarring wounds really, given they’re using axes, spiked maces, spears, flails, knives and broadswords.”

I turned from Sekhet to let her finish eating her food to go sit with Maries, we would be waiting on Fizzle this morning. Our injuries were almost better and we were healing quite well.

“What’ll it be today Jade?” Ready with a notepad, the morning maiden Fresh Start was already right next to me and waiting.

“I’m waiting on at least Fizzle before I order.” She nodded and went to take care of some Vikings ordering breakfast here. I turned to Maries and had to ask. “Have the Vikings been bothering you?”

“No, surprisingly they’re very friendly towards us, but they expected more vicious personalities.” Goes to show you that the Viking didn’t know our favorite chimera very well. “We’re kind of surprised that they are rather respectful and polite for battle hardened warriors.”

“With the way they’re treating Quetzalcoatl you wouldn’t know it.” Jacky took a seat next to Maries’ right and joining us at the table was a very average looking griffon. “That guy can’t catch a break, he looks like a number of monsters in their culture.”

“Hello there, what’s your name? I’m Jade.” Before the griffon could comment, Fizzle sat down next to me.

“Have you asked about the Helping Hoof Inn yet?” Not yet Fizzle, I was more interested in who our normal looking guest was at our reserved breakfast table.

“I was about to find out about the griffons name, I haven’t even gotten a chance to bring the topic around to how Arizona and Grace are doing.” I and Fizzle had kind of been shut in for a few days and mom has been taking care of us between feeding hungry Vikings, so we didn’t know the status of the inn that couldn’t hold the number of Vikings that were currently in The Witch’s Fare. The Helping Hoof Inn wasn’t nearly that big. “If you would like to tell us who you are.”

“Well okay, hello everyone I’m ‘Gene Eric the Swift Reaction’.” He sounded normal, far too normal for a Viking.

“Quick question Generic, are you even a Viking?” It was a pertinent question from me for the avian that looked absurdly normal as his name suggested. He had brown feather, brown fur and green eyes, in all he was an average sized griffon with no overly incredible defining features. “If not, then what are you doing here?”

“Of course I am, I’m a decently fast Viking and I get around with my two brothers in arms.” He had no accent and sounded just normal. Okay he was by far the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen appear in Airship Mauled. Ratatoskr or the flying purple pony eater don’t really hold a candle to this guy. I’m horrified by his seemingly perfect normalcy among all the other muscular and buff Vikings around here. “I’m just as good as any griffon, only I have a slightly better reaction time to things going on in my environment.”

“Nice to know, so Helping Hoof Inn for the two who’ve been resting and out of the loop for a bit?” Well out of the loop as far as all we’ve been doing is sleeping, eating, bathing and using the litter box. I had no idea what was going on with the Vikings aside from meeting Generic.

“I’ll tell you what’s going on, you’re missing all kinds of awesome fighting!” Here came Arizona, it looked like a cow was being added to our table. What next a dragon? “If you’re wondering the Inn is doing fine and I’m making sure nobody does something stupid to Grace. I’ve been kicking flank left and right with my bare hooves, this is looking to be the best week ever for me!”

“Yeah, I’ve never met a warrior so young that can hit so hard. I am ‘Flamberge the Fiercely Flammable’!” A red bipedal dragon raised his sword high and smiled at us, he had two natural horns and a helmet with two horns on his head and like Generic his eyes were a sharp green color. “This is my sword that’s always on fire!”

His sword looked like a wave bladed sword… and it wasn’t currently on fire, but the design made it look like it was.

“It’s not on fire though.” Fizzle dryly stated while staring at the blade.

“That’s because it’s sleeping.” Flamberge was receiving a bunch of flat stares from everyone except Generic.

“Your sword… is asleep. Yeah and my horn is on vacation, a very long one at that.” How deliciously sarcastic of you Fizzle, the deadpan tone was appropriate to this given situation.

“That’s quite amazing, I didn’t know unicorn horns could take vacation.” At Flamberge’s somewhat excited words, those who naturally lived here at Airship Mauled look to one another. “I do hope it comes back though, I don’t think most unicorn horns get vacations.”

“They may be tough or swift, but nobody has ever said they were very bright.” Arizona whispered to me and Fizzle before taking a seat. Stashing his sword away Flamberge sat down as well.

“Ah one of my two brothers is already here, Gene it is nice to see you have made friends with the locals we crashed our ships near!” This Flamberge guy was a bit flamboyant, also that sounded like a nice nickname for Generic. “Now if only the third of my brother in arms was here, then we’d be able to tell you how incredible we are!”

“Did somebody call for “Fortitude the Fantastically Fragrant’?!” Oh gods and goddesses what was that horrid smell, this Fortitude guy must have had a fortitude to go around smelling like that. I heard yaks could get bad, but this was beyond anything I’ve ever smelled before! Smells like this could kill flies on contact.

“Why do you smell like a cut open durian?!” I barely managed to gasp out. Fizzle was trying to cover her nose with both hooves and Arizona looked quite sick to her four stomachs. “I just got better from being sick, I don’t want to be sick again!”

“How do you even know what a cut open durian smells like Captain?” Jacky started turning as green as the black furred yaks eyes, he was a hefty looking guy with a huge shield on his back. “It’s an accurate description though…”

“I am 'Fortitude the Fantastically Fragrant'.” The large yak said, but didn’t elaborate on why he smelled like a bunch of rotten eggs. “Yak like me smell strong, Fortitude be strong too!”

“It seems we three are together my brothers in arms.” Generic, I have no idea what we did to get saddled with your friend's stink, but please help us. End our suffering... please! “Excuse me, but it seems the locals we are guests to can’t stand your stink Fortitude. A bucket of water, if someone will.”

“I’ve been waiting for someone to ask, but darn it you Viking are actually quite a polite bunch!” It seemed like Fresh Start was waiting for this moment, she threw a bucket of water at Fortitude getting him all wet and the smell suddenly died off. That was followed by two more buckets splashing him.

“Fortitude smell less strong!” The yak was just stating the obvious out loud, Fortitude didn’t even seem to care he had been hit by multiple buckets of water.

“Now that that is taken care of, what can I do for you?” After we ordered some food from Fresh Start, Flamberge stood up and gathered his two brothers in arms.

“Together we three are the Vibrant Vikings!” At Flamberge’s exclamation, Generic rose his fist on the right and Fortitude raised the shield from off his back on the left. As for Flamberge he raised his sword into the air, it still wasn’t on fire. “We are adventurers unparalleled!”

“Never heard of you and I know a thing or two about Vikings.” The three looked sad that Jacky was less than impressed.

“Well that’s great, but I’d rather talk about the fishing trip me and Maries are going to go on.” I turned to the three heads that were giving me their full attention. They didn’t have much else to do. “So do you want to go fishing at a lake, the sea or a nearby river?”

“The river, it is simple and safe.” Maria started, only for Mara to cut in. “Ponyville’s lake has krakens in it and I’ve heard how good you are with them.”

“I heard there were a lot of eels at Ghastly Gorge and I’m interesting in seeing them at least once.” After Marie spoke the three heads froze. They all of looked thoughtful and then Maries spoke as one. “Wherever you feel like going Jade, we’d all be fine with it. We would certainly like to learn how to fish from you.”

“We’ll go river fishing then, I’ll need time to get the fishing poles in order.” I’m sure they could figure out how to use one.

Chapter Sixteen, Fishing with Vikings: Fishing ensues.

-Maries-

“This should be a good place to start fishing.” Leading us to a nice spot at the riverside, Jade started by sitting down and patting a spot next to her. We came up to her and sat down with her. “So what do you want to know about fishing Maries? I’ve brought several methods of fishing with me. Which would you like to learn about?”

“What would you recommend we learn?” Mara asked for us intrigued by the stuff Jade brought with her.

“It’s not like we’ve ever had a reason to go fishing before Jade.” As Maria just said, we lacked the need to have gone fishing before now.

“Well I could go over using the fishing rod method, the fishing net method, the tail method could be fun for Marie, there’s the spear fishing method, the fish slap fishing method and my personally favorite the quick and unbelievably smart trap method.” Taking a thoughtful look at the river Jade turned to us. “We’re in a good position to use the smart method here, but the smart method requires that we catch at least one small fish to use.”

“Which would require us to use the other methods first?” Our tail inquired politely.

“Yes, I think the easiest method for you to learn would be tail or fish slap fishing. You’re not exactly built to use a spear, a fishing pole might be easier for you as it requires physical strength and all of you have that in spades.” You flattered us Jade. Were we all blushing or was it just Mara? “Wielding the pole may be a bit of a problem with you. The fishing net wouldn’t be too hard for you to use either, but it requires patience and slower movements.”

She motioned for us to follower her and we did, we quietly moved down the river a bit and she eventually stopped.

“Don’t make any loud noises, we wouldn’t want to scare the fish before we’re ready to grab or slap one.” We crawled up to the edge of the water. “Do you have any bear in your ancestry Maries?”

“No, we do not. Also we don’t think Fizzle would be very welcoming of anything with bear like traits given how her horn was damaged.” Nodding in acceptance at our wise words, Jade moved to the edge of the river.

“I was asking because fish slap fishing is the method bears use to get fish meat. Well, when they’re not consuming honey or berries that is. Watch what I do carefully guys.” Do not worry Jade, we were watching you closely. You shall not come to harm while we are here, you were spirited in unusual ways that attracted our hearts to one such as you.

Jade stood next to the water and moved slightly into it slowly, she then watched the water carefully. I could see a shadow in the water shifting and swimming to Jade’s left.

She approached it carefully and then she raised back her right arm and her claws popped out of her fingers preparing for a swift solid strike. She was acting like we did when we went hunting. Hunting was something that we haven’t done in a while, there wasn’t much need to, but we still remembered how to do it.

We hunted by sneaking up on a target from behind, above or any other direction they are not paying any attention to. Once we were ready, we would then strike when the time is right. That being when the prey is not able to react fast enough to avoid being eviscerated, all one quick fluid motion.

With a swift swing of her right arm, and a shift of her hip to throw weight and momentum behind her swing, Jade sent a silver colored fish flying out of the water with claw marks on its side in a single glorious awe inspiring motion.

We could feel our hearts quicken at the sight of seeing Jade move like a hunter, she was beautiful to watch in motion. There was that fierce side to her, like what we saw on the day we first met her. She may have a nice demeanor, but that didn’t mean she was weak.

The injured fish landed on the bank to begin flopping, but that didn’t last long as Jade quickly pounced on it and swiftly killed it by snapping the fragile bones in its neck with her bare hands. The bones made a rather audibly snapping noise,

“I don’t like to watch the fish suffer, I always try to make the fish’s death as quick as I can.” Picking up the average sized fish, Jade looked it over and nodded. “Okay, help me build a small wall of rocks in the river so I can show you the quick and smart method to fishing.”

A wall of rocks?

-A minute or so later-

I find this intriguing.

You and us both Marie, we are building a small beaver dam. Say, Mara, what do you suppose this is that we’re making?

We will soon find out sisters, be patient. We are learning something very unique here.

“Word of warning, don’t overuse this method. Too much fishing like this and you won’t have any more fish to fish for.” Moving stones according to Jade’s wishes, we had formed an almost full half circle. “Don’t fill in the rest of the circle yet Maries, but be ready to do so with a few big stones to close the doorway into the inner portion of the half circle.”

“This is the quick and easy method?” It seemed rather slow to us.

“Yep, would you like to eat some raw fish now?” She picked up a nearby slab of rock. It looked a bit heavy for her, but she had managed to lay it across her lap. “I’m going to need to fillet the fish we have here for this next part.”

“It did take us a while to walk here, we also had a light breakfast compared to you or the others.” Maria proclaimed.

“It was in anticipation of the fact that we’d be eating fish.” Followed up Mara.

After giving us two fish fillets and letting Marie swallow the fish head and bones, we watched as Jade carried the slab of fish guts over to the almost complete half circle of rocks.

“Get ready to seal off the half circle with some rocks Maries.” Moving to do so at Jade’s request, we waited for her to act.

Jade started chopping up some of the fish guts and then scraped it off of the slab and into the river where the bits of it started attracting the fish from downstream. After cutting up a bit more of the fish guts and tossing it into the water, more and more fish were gathering and starting to swim through the gap in the underwater rock dam.

“Okay, now I just carefully dump the rest of the guts and entrails into the water and once you think enough fish have taken the bait, you seal off the hole in our half circular dam.” Jade started scraping the rest of the remains into the water slowly, it attracted a lot of fish to start eating what Jade was dumping into the water.

We could actually see where this was going. Once quite a few fish had passed through the hole into the trap we and Jade had set up together, we moved some rocks into position successfully trapping at least twenty or more fish in the half circle of rocks.

The fish were too busy eating the chum to really notice that they were trapped.

“This is a good set up for practicing various forms of fishing as I’m sure you’ve already noticed.” Of course Jade, we would be dumb to not notice the situation placed before us.

It wasn’t long before we found ourselves approached by three interlopers into what was supposed to be our private time with Jade. A time we were enjoying up until now.

-Jade-

“See, they are having an adventure out here.” Okay how did Generic make his excited tone sound so unbelievably normal? “A bit low key, but it's still an adventure.”

“I don’t see violent combat or any great adventuring!” Could you maybe do some volume control Flamberge, you might scare off the fish that we don’t already have caught.

“I am ‘Fortitude the Fantastically Fragrant’!” Did this Fortitude guy ever get any more elegant than that? “Fortitude is feeling strange and comforting aura around you.”

“What are the three of you doing here, you’re kind of interrupting my date with Maries here.” Tapping my foot impatiently, I was a little more than upset on Maries’ behalf. “Speaking of, try fish slapping a trapped fish onto the bank and get it back into the water.”

Maries tried to fish slap a fish and only missed, then a fish leapt up and slapped both Mara and Maria across their faces. She narrowed her eyes on the offending fish and try to slap it out of containment, only she missed again.

“Well I have heard stories of you from Jacky, she made it sound that you are quite adventurous. That it was a fact that you can’t do normal for long.” Started off Generic, he paused and looked towards Maries trying to get a fish out of the water. He turned to me with an appraising eye. “Are you sure you're dating her?”

“Yes, I am.” They were kind of messing with what was supposed to be Maries first date with me. “We are in the middle of a date right now.”

“Fortitude apologizes, but we thought you would be trying to hunt a happy little narwhal.” The incredulous look Fortitude received from me was quite a strong one. “Yak not see narwhal yet.”

“You do realize that narwhal’s can’t be found in rivers right?” Seriously, where did they get the idea that I could catch a narwhal here of all places? “Narwhals prefer living in colder places. Not only that, I know for a fact that they’re carnivorous and I’d rather not have one try and swallow me whole. Still, fishing a narwhal out of a river like this should be impossible, but you can try to keep me posted on one appearing here. A narwhal coming here is about as likely as my mother getting an Al-Mi‘ Raj as a familiar!”

While I said this, Maries had managed to smack a fish out of the trap and onto the bank. The three of them smiled before they knocked the fish back into the water where it went back to swimming around aimlessly in the fish trap.

“Do that a few more times and you’ll get the hang of fish slapping Maries.” I didn’t think of myself as a good teacher, but obviously Maries picked up some of my technique from just watching me.

-Kuril-

“Why are all of you afraid of her?” In my arms I held a pink bunny with a sharp looking horn, I gently ran my hand over her head. Well she felt like a girl to me. “She’s such a sweetie.”

“That’s an al-mi’raj, they are vicious creatures!” One of the Vikings, a big and strong looking yak, stated while shivering in fear.

“Doesn’t seem so vicious to me.” I rubbed my face against the horned rabbit and it squeaked happily at my affectionate gesture.

“Ma’am, that thing isn’t safe to be near.” What was up with these overly polite Vikings? Was it Sekhet’s presence that was keeping them in line? “Those things are always dangerous to everyone and everything around them.”

“Do they have any weaknesses? I think belly rubs might be one.” The little unicorn rabbit squealed as soon as I started tickling it. Once I stopped I held her high in the air and looked into her bright blue beautiful eyes. “Now what to call you? Oh I know! I’ll call you Sugar. Your fur reminds me of cotton candy.”

Sugar nuzzled her face against me and avoided hitting me with her horn, she must really like me.

“How can you have that monster so calm? Only a witch would be able to calm something like one of those monstrosities down.” One of the griffon Vikings asked looking at me with awe.

“I’m a witch of good taste, does that count?” I received a bunch of blank stares.

“You’re a witch? Why didn’t you ever tell any of us that?” A Viking dragon asked looking upset.

“Why would I have to tell you, I’m the owner of a restaurant called The Witch’s Fare, it should be kind of obvious?” There was a grumbling among the crowd and a griffon strode forward and examined the unicorn horned rabbit getting comfortable in my grip. “I’m also wearing robes and have on a witch’s hat with some pirate mixed in!”

“You seem like an alright mayor to your town to us and have been quite kind Ms. La Perm, I guess you being a witch that knows how to cook would explain everything. I guess that’s alright with us then, a Witch of good taste… who knew such a thing could exist.” The griffon bowed to me and then headed back to his group. “She’s a friendly witch you guys, keep treating her with great respect if you haven’t already!”

“What?! You’re okay with her being a witch, but you’re not okay with me being a flying serpent?” A frazzled Quetzalcoatl yelled.

“Shut it Ourogundjet!” One of the Viking dragons moved to defend me. “You will not fool us with your lies of how your most certainly cross dressing you masculine hussy!”

“One I’m male, two I don’t even wear clothing, three you just mixed up the name of three differing gods together and four my gender should not be that hard to figure out as I have an obviously masculine voice!” Poor Mr. Quetzalcoatl, the Vikings really didn’t seem to like him.

“That’s only a likely story and doesn’t meet with reality as we see it!” A blue dragon Viking shouted.

I sighed and guessed that I would be better off getting back to my place of business and not questioning any of this, I didn't need the headaches like Mr. Quetzalcoatl was getting by having to deal with the Vikings.

-Jade-

"That's it Maries, reel it in and bring it home with a hard yank!" The vibrant Vikings might have been sticking around, but at least they weren't being overly intrusive into our date.

With a sharp pull of the fishing rod, the fish came out of the water and Maries smiled at the moderate sized pike she just caught. At least things were quiet with the Vibrant Vikings, as they called themselves, down the river from us and out of our fur.

"Good job Maries! that's a pretty big fish for your first catch of the day." After praising her she pulled put away the fish and came over to hug me with her tiger paws and then nuzzle me with all three of her heads affectionately.

"We're having fun Jade, aren't you worried about this narwhal thing they spoke of?" Looks like I had to ease Mara, Marie and Maria's minds about this.

"Look Maries, I am quite sure that there can't possibly be a narwhal around here. It would take a horrendous act of ignorance for one to even be..." A shadow rose up and I turned around to see a humongous narwhal. "here."

Chapter Sixteen, Fishing with Vikings: Running ensues.

-Kuril-

“Ma’am, I have a question.” I turned to the griffon Viking that approached and I gave him my undivided attention.

“Yes, what is it?” This is the part where a problem pops up on me.

“Do you know where we can get some good fights around here?” He asked me with an innocent look on his face. “That strange flying serpent outside won’t fight us and we’re kind of hungry for battle. So I and the guys were hoping you might have an enemy or two we can deal with.”

“Oh I have the perfect enemy for you, they’re numerous and smart and not to be underestimated no matter what you may think of them initially. Fresh, some paper and ink if you will!” It was a perfectly good idea, so I may as well do it. Fresh Start was on her way to walk by me. When she did get to me, she stopped and held up the items I requested. After taking them from her hoof and letting her walk off. “Thanks Ms. Start, you’re always such a dear friend to me! Now if you will wait patiently sir, I will write these magic words for you…”

The Viking nodded and waited eagerly. I started jotting down the information the Viking needed, writing down only two words and waited for the ink to dry. After the ink was dry, I folded the sheet of paper up twice and then waited on handing it to his talons.

“First off, you should never say these words anywhere around here! That’s very important in making this magic work. I suggest you gather as many Viking as you can gather together and head… I want to say south. Do so for a quarter of a mile.” Any direction would have worked for this really, but I really didn’t want the Vikings to say those words around here. I handed the paper to him as if it were a loaded bomb, it might as well be because of what happens when you say those words. “You will then open this piece of paper and yell the words I have written down for you. Once you do that, you will then be in for a very large fight of the likes that you’ll probably enjoy. Word of warning, expect an attack from any direction.”

“Thank you Ms. Mayor Witch Kurilian La Perm! Hey guys, the witch knows of a fight she wants us to handle!” The griffon nodded and turned to the bunch of Vikings cheering happily at the griffon’s words. “Anyone who wants a good fight, we can set out south immediately to find one!”

Once they were on their way, I walked over to Fizzle who was sitting in a corner of the restaurant and had a cup of iced sweet tea sitting next to her. She was reading a book about drink mixing from what I could see on the cover.

Moving so that I could look over her shoulder, I was glad to find out that it wasn’t alcoholic drink mixing and that it was about stuff like smoothies or milkshakes.

None of my daughters, except for maybe Jacky, are becoming alcoholics on my watch! I wasn’t likely to stop Jacky from drinking grog eventually, but for now she lived under my roof and would follow my rules. Not all alcohol is bad, a little wine never hurts and it’s only if you don’t stop after a certain point that you know you have a bad problem.

“It seems you’re quite comfy.” I commented idly, Fizzle blinked and looked up at me.

“Yeah, I am mom… I’m most certainly not worried about whatever kind of danger Jade is involving herself in this time.” The look on your face said otherwise Fizzle and now I will give you a knowing look. Your reaction was going to be an overly swift denial. “No seriously, I’m not worried that Jade might be in mortal peril right now because she has Maries with her. What kind of creature could Maries not outrun while carrying Jade? I’m sure she’s perfectly fine… yep… not panicking at all… no torn limbs or the possibility of not having a snuggle cat to sleep with for the rest of my life who’s also my best friend…”

I narrowed my eyes as I saw several muscles clench in Fizzle’s body, I knew what was about to happen and I was prepared to tackle Fizzle if she tried to do what I think she was about to do. Fizzle calmly put the book down, but her muscles were still tensed.

“I have to go help her…!” Fizzle started as she leapt up to run past me and I tackled her to the floor and pinned her. “Come on mom, let me go! Jade could be in serious danger! Who knows what’s happening to her right now! She might need me!”

Fizzle struggled in my grasp and I then I did something really quite dirty, I started petting my daughter and cuddling her while keeping her pinned.

“Dirty pool mom, dirty pool…” A slowly weakening Fizzle said under my careful caressing, eventually she gave in and let me affectionately scratch her behind the ears. “You are a very evil cat, and you should feel bad about that. A little more to the right… oh yes~.”

I knew how to stop my daughter from running off to go help Jade, who was likely in no danger at all… who am I kidding, she was likely in great danger! I was just trusting Maries to be able to handle whatever it is. I absolutely trusted my daughter to come back alive, what I didn’t trust was that she wouldn’t get into danger.

“You don’t trust Maries and Jade very well do you Fizzle?” My daughter stiffened up and I continued to play with her ears and mane.

“It’s not them that I don’t trust, it’s whatever Jade has gotten herself into this time that I don’t trust!” That’s well-spoken Fizzle, but I had a question for you.

“They aren’t that far away from Airship Mauled my little Fizzle.” I said calmingly. “Besides, what kind of trouble could Jade possibly get into while fishing?”

“What about the crazy whale shark thing?” Oh yeah, those incidents certainly did happen Fizzle. You were even witness to one personally, but I have a counter.

“They went to a river, nothing really big grows in the fresh water around here Fizzle.” I defended, because let’s face it, how big of a problem could I really expect my kitten to get into? Fizzle just raised her right brow at me in a questioning look. “It’ll be fine Fizzle, you’ll see, I think you’re just a little jealous of Maries date and want to interrupt it at any cost.”

“No, it’s definitely not Mara, Maria and Marie that I’m worried about mom, I’m friends with all of them.” I held her in place as she struggled to get up, she wasn’t going anywhere. “I can almost feel Jade getting into trouble right this second! It’s like a gut instinct I have.”

“They’ll be fine Fizzle, you’ll see.” We’d better see them healthy and fine, fishing was something that Jade excelled at and it wasn’t really dangerous unless you were out at sea.

-Jade-

“Well at least it can’t get onto land and chase us down.” The huge narwhal shifted forward and large leg shaped fin stomped the ground in front of me, I slowly started to back away from it. “It can walk on land… of course it can.”

“Can it use its horn to do magic?” After Mara said that, I had a few words for her.

“Actually that’s a common misconception about narwhals! Notice that the thing you called a horn isn’t centered on its head, but is in fact slightly above its lips and off to either the left or right depending on the narwhal. That’s not a horn, it’s the creature’s oversized tooth that made a hole through its upper lip.” I pointed out the supposed ‘horn’ and continued backing away as another leg fin was put on the ground, the whale sized monster seemed intent on crawling onto land to come get us. What did we ever do to this thing to attract its attention? “As for it being capable of magic, well if that tooth is magical, then we’re in trouble. The one thing we don’t have to worry about is being chewed to death. Aside from usually growing only two teeth, one being vestigial and the other looking like a nose horn, narwhals don’t have any other teeth and tend to swallow their prey whole and alive. Kind of like unicorn whales of the sea and…”

I had trailed off, mostly because the narwhal turned, opened its mouth wide and inhaled a powerful vortex of air that sucked out all the fish in the fish trap. It swallowed them all and it almost pulled me in, but Maria hooked her horns under my armpits and they backpedaled to safety with me. The large narwhal slowly turned to us menacingly.

“Jade we have neither seen a whale or the sea, aside from the trip to Canterlot we really haven’t gone far beyond our home of Flame Geyser Swamp or Airship Mauled.” Maria was just staring at the large narwhal that was now pointed at us. Maries kept backing away and staring at the monster that pulled its third leg out of the water. Tail Marie then spoke up, sounding a bit worried. “The suction on that mouth is quite powerful. How strong do you suppose a narwhals stomach acid is?”

“I’d rather we not find out and I might take you to see the sea one day. We’ll do it on the west coast so we can watch a nice sunset together. The first thing we should do is survive this thing.” I was summarily flipped onto Maries’ back by Maria, where I clung to them and they kept backing away from the fish legged narwhal crawling onto land after us.

It opened its mouth and the vortex of air entering it threatened to pull us in, I clung to Maries and they clung to the ground with their tiger legs claws and dug in their goat hooves.

Dirt, bugs, grass and other various things started flying into the monsters mouth and the ground around us started to come apart at how powerful the suctions force was.

“You’re not making a meal out of us!” I lifted my left hand and fired a magic missile down its throat, aiming for what I hoped was its uvula. I missed and still hit the back of its throat.

The blast of energy made its mouth reflexively shut and it groaned loudly in pain, even though that really didn’t hurt it much at all.

I didn’t know how it managed it, but the narwhal managed to properly project its anger at us quite well in its body language. That’s when its horn like tooth started to light up with magic, said magic started from the base of the tusk and slowly move down towards the tip. Said tip was pointed towards our general direction.

“Maries… run… very fast!” Oh holy freaking crap, it can actually use magic with its tooth! My shout made Maries turn around and they kicked off with their goat legs, we shot forward and I looked over my shoulder at Marie who was watching for something.

“Left!” Marie called and Maries’ body lunged to the left as a thick beam of yellow energy ripped through a swath of trees to our right. “Go right, go right! We can’t let it cage us towards the river, I’m pretty sure it can swim faster than we can and we do not want to be caught by its ability to suck us in!”

The large narwhal was giving chase to us and it wasn’t slow… why wasn’t it slow?! Where was the square cube law when you needed it? I didn’t understand the math, but I understood why it was a thing.

The Narwhal wasn’t in water or space, so wouldn’t it be too big to the point that it collapses in on itself? Oh right, this is a magical world where things like Dragon Lord Torch, hydra and Rocs existed without body size being an issue. All of them mountain or hill sized dangerous creatures, Mr. Vacuum Mouth being among them.

“It seems you’ve run into trouble with a narwhal-ker, quite dangerous that.” Generic was flying next to us, Marie and I looked to him. “We the Vibrant Vikings will assist you in its defeat.”

He couldn’t get excited or sound frightened by the prospect, why am I not surprised at this point? That’s when Flamberge swooped in and we all dodged another large beam of yellow energy trying to intercept Maries running form.

“We shall do battle with yonder beast!” He proudly proclaimed, only for the Narwhal stopped and sucked both him and Generic into itself. Yeah, it seemed like a creature that sucked birds out of the air. I don’t think Pegasi were lucky if they ever flew near this monster.

“I am ‘Fortitude the Fantastically Fragrant’!” Yep they were all here, well at least one of them was. The other two just got swallowed alive by the vacuum whale with a magic tooth. He was running alongside us. “We should help friends, but yak not willing to face that. Fortitude is also still comforted by your very presence!”

“Well what do you expect us to do? That thing is ridiculously large and it can use…” Maries leapt to left and I almost fell off, Fortitude whipped his shield off his back with his right leg and blocked the beam of magic.

He blocked a destructive beam of magic, which could cut through trees, with what looked like a wooden shield. Yaks weren’t known for being particularly magical, but that was quite impressive and I would like to know how he did that.

Was he so dumb that he ignored magical physics making it an achievement in ignorance or was he so stupid that it had actually worked on the principle that it clearly shouldn’t have?

“Fortitude spirit be strong, like yak odor!” He may have deflected a magical beam off the shield, which is among a number of impossible things I’ve seen today, but he was still running with us in trying to escape the narwhal. “Yak be thinking of plan. Fortitude no ask for help, but friends can do it for yak!”

“Well there’s not really a better plan... into the forest!” At my words Maries and Fortitude turned right and the narwhal was still giving chase. Now that I looked at it more carefully, it seemed to have a big dopey grin on its face. That was a face that will haunt my nightmares. “If we can’t lose him, then we’re heading for Airship Mauled to get help! Before you ask most male narwhals have teeth or tusks like that, so I’m assuming its male because females rarely get those.”

“Sounds like the only plan to us Jade... everybody duck!” Everyone followed the logical conclusion. Maries threw herself to the ground as I snuggled into their back, while Fortitude moved into position behind us to successfully block the sweeping beam.

We hastily headed towards Airship Mauled.

-Vikings-

“Highland Pukwudgies!” The Vikings were nowhere near Airship Mauled at the moment, they also had both Sekhet and Quetzalcoatl watching them.

Chapter Sixteen, Fishing with Vikings: Whale done.

-Maries-

We just wanted to spend a nice day fishing with Jade and to bring back some to fill the larder with, why did this monster have to show up and ruin our fun?

Don’t worry about it Maria, we still learned a lot about fishing. Even though we never got to use the spear or do any tail fishing. Marie any more incoming shots?

No Mara, but the monster is keeping up with us.

Surviving our date is now our top and collective priority, as is protecting our prospective mate Jade from harm! I'm quite sure we all wish to try this form of courting again without interruption.

-Jade-

We were coming up on Airship Mauled fast, Fortitude was pretty good about standing strong in the face of beam attacks.

“How is your shield blocking those beams, is it magical in any way?” Looking in my direction, Fortitude seemed to have a confused look on his face.

“No, Fortitude shield not be having magic, it be made of flexible wood planks and metal!” The fact that it is a normal shield doesn’t make any sense. It was a pretty big and heavy shield, but there was nothing special about it that would actually prevent the narwhal’s beam attacks from going through it. “Fortitude just be blocking with strength of yak!”

“Speaking of yak, I’ve been meaning to mention something to you about one I’ve met.” We continued running from the narwhal behind us as it opened its mouth in an attempt to suck us in, but every time it did that it had to stop moving. I was thankful we were always out of range before it could get us by doing that, in fact we managed to get a decent distance from it. “You said you feel comfortable around me right?”

“Of course, you feel like yak friend already to Fortitude!” Well that’s nice and all Fortitude, but your stink was going to be an issue if we were to actually become friends. I think I’ve had enough time to figure out why you like my presence and it was pretty simple for me to figure out.

“I met Eir the Valkyrie, she said I was welcome in Yakhalla.” Those words had me being looked at in a different light by Fortitude.

“You are friend of great Valkyrie? Fortitude honored to meet and protect you friend Jade!” Shortly after his jovial statement, we had arrived at Airship Mauled.

Only there weren’t any Vikings here and I didn’t see Sekhet favoring or being friendly to the Vikings, nor did I see Quetzalcoatl being annoyed or hassled by them.

“Are there any gods around here?!” I shouted as I hopped off Maries and ran towards The Witch’s Fare, she slowly followed behind me breathing a bit more heavily. Having three heads to catch her breath with really helped Maries recover stamina quickly. I stopped when I heard a squeak, I looked down to see Ratatoskr standing proudly and looking up at me. “Again, are there any gods around here... that can actually do something useful?”

He glared at me angrily and crossed his paws, he started squeaking loudly in a slightly upset tone. I crouched down and looked him in the eyes.

“Look, buddy, if you can take of the creature coming in this direction, then the more power to you for being able to do something to the pertaining situation at hand that we really need help with.” I started off in a placating manner. “You must admit that you’re just not exactly a combat oriented god and we could really use one of those right about now. If we need a message delivered or some back up on a smaller problem, then we’ll certainly call on you. I and Fizzle know for a fact that you are not weak, it’s just that you are not as strong as other gods.”

Ratatoskr went to see what it was in a red blur, the little guy had super speed as he was a messenger god. A minute later he ran back by us into the restaurant, still an indistinguishable little blur; the poor little guy wasn’t a major god and it showed quite noticeably. At least Rata was smart enough to know that being immortal does not mean that he can’t feel pain and knew when to choose his battles, so he was pretty good at threat assessment.

“You and Maries are back a little bit too soon… what happened?” Mom gave me this look that was asking what I did this time.

“Well matriarch Kuril, there was a fish and…” Mara started, only for the monstrous Narwhal to burst in to view by ramming through some trees. Marie finished what Mara was going to say. “It was 'that~' big.”

Mom shivered at the sight of the narwhal slowly working to get the trees it toppled away from itself.

“Okay what has Rata so… whoa. You just can’t do normal now can you Captain?” Despite her joking, Jacky was already preparing her bow for the fight and she even grabbed her spear from behind the door. “That’s the biggest catch I’ve ever seen from a fresh water river!”

That reminded me, I really needed to go back and pick up my fishing equipment once this was all over with.

“They haven’t exactly caught it yet, Blackcap.” Fizzle sauntered out of the restaurant giving the monster a bland look and then she came over to me, she started to affectionately nuzzle me. “Sorry your date with Maries was interrupted, so when’s the next one? I think you owe Maries a completely romantic date, it’s only fair.”

“It was good, until that monster ruined it.” I’m a little surprised that Maria became the aggressive one for a moment. “We were learning so much about fishing from Jade, then it starts chasing us and it ended up swallowing both Generic and Flamberge.”

“Uh guys, I know you’re treating the narwhal as less of a threat than it really is, but that is not a good idea considering what it’s doing now.” At least I wasn’t the only one paying attention, Fortitude stood in front of the monster while hold his shield up defensively and he took a blast of magic from its spiraling tooth.

“It can use magic…” Fizzle’s ears wilted and now she looked properly concerned with our ability to handle this. “That’s a powerful looking horn.”

“It’s not a horn Fizzle, it’s the narwhal’s tooth that has burrowed through its face!” Why were we just standing by and watching as the narwhal tried to stomp down on Fortitude with a big pudgy leg shaped fin that surprisingly didn’t crush the yak. It did break the ground beneath him though. Fizzle and Jacky had disgusted looks on their faces about the information of what a narwhal’s tusk really was. “Why are we just standing here and watching this?”

“Because we’re all a bunch of jerks?” No, if anyone was a jerk around here Jacky, then it would be me! “Fortitude does seems to have it handled. Seriously though, I’m not going near a creature that’s smiling like that.”

Fortitude pushed the leg off of himself and then bashed his shield against the smiling beasts chin making it stumble backwards.

“That happy smile is pretty nightmarish isn’t it?” It wouldn’t be long before the narwhal resorted to trying to swallow us or Fortitude again. I could use a sheath on it, Sekhet had gotten me a new one and had personally asked me not to destroy this one unless necessary. That wouldn’t stop the narwhal for long though, magic missile had a minor effect and that was the only effect it would have. Magic missile was by far the weakest cast I had, but it was always available. I turned to mom. “Did you test the salamander scales mom?”

I hadn’t noticed when mom left, but she was now equipped with the buckler on her right arm and she looked particularly worried about having to fight the narwhal.

“Yes, but they aren’t too useful in this situation. The cast creates a protective wall of fire, sustain makes the user generate heat that only they are safe from and you can still be effected by other sources of heat.” That actually seemed somewhat useful mom. “The self-sustain is exceedingly useful though. It lets you see sources of heat, so invisibility spells and illusions don’t work.”

The narwhal opened its mouth and a vortex started to pull us all towards it, somehow Fortitude was unaffected. I’m beginning to see a recurring trend here when it came to the yak with the giant shield, he just did the impossible without thinking about it.

Maries dug in and Marie wrapped her head around my right wrist, I grabbed Fizzle’s front right hoof with my left hand and she grabbed mom by the leg with her left and she grabbed Jacky by the end of her tail making her squawk loudly in pain.

“Jacky, fire something into its mouth!” It sounded like Fizzle had the right idea, I would have suggested the same thing if fizzle hadn’t just done so.

“If you want me to do that, you’ll need hold me steady then!” She shouted back at us as she wavered in mom’s grip.

“Marie, try to get me close to the ground!” Marie forced her head downwards, when my paws touched the ground I flexed my toes and dug my claws into the ground. I was so glad that the narwhal couldn’t move while doing this.

I lowered Fizzled towards the ground and she dug in her rear hooves and started to pull. Following her lead I started pulling as well. Maria caught on to what we were doing and Maries body started to move forward, we needed to move a bit further away from the powerful vortex and get Jacky’s feet on the ground.

We got a few feet forward, then Fizzle managed to lower mom to the ground where she dug her claws into the ground like I did and tugged hard enough on Jacky’s tail to pull her to the ground, where she dug in her toes.

“Please don’t let go of me!” She carefully pulled her bow from her back and pulled at the string while taking aim horizontally.

“I’d never let go of any of my children in a situation like this! Just know you’ll always be one of my daughters and if you attempt to get married, then I’ll have even worse problems with letting go of you!” Mom, you were one of a kind to be thinking of that in a situation like this. “I don’t want any of you to grow up, but you’re all becoming beautiful, in my kittens case strange, women of your particular species!”

“Can we discuss your midlife crisis later mom, I think we have more pressing issues here!” Fizzle screamed over the roar of the vortex.

-Jacky-

Okay, I needed to sink this shot. With a mouth that big I can’t possibly miss at this range! I released the string and a wave of light slammed into its mouth. I staggered backwards making a coughing noise, then it started lighting it’s… Captain called it a tooth. It was about to fire and… wait what happened to that smelly Fortitude guy!

Oh, there he is… hopping into its still open mouth!?

The narwhal was about to fire and we didn’t have a shield to block it this time, admittedly should blocking a beam of raw magic with a shield be impossible? Was it even raw magic? I would think it would be raw magic.

Fizzle charged forward with her broken stump igniting with a fierce look of determination on her face.

-Fizzle-

Come on… come on… focus, I need to tighten my control! Ugh, my head feels like its splitting apart, but it’s all for a good cause. Counter that monsters magic, that’s all I have to do, counter its magic Fizzle. Counter it!

The narwhal fired and I unleashed a solid explosion of magic from my horn that met the beam and started canceling it out by building up in the spot where the two energies met. That’s when the two energies violently exploded.

The explosion sent me tumbling into a wall of energy generated by Kuril's shield, I was safely cushioned and stopped by it. The invading narwhal’s fleshy soft swirled horn like tooth started to rip up from the explosion, this made the narwhal wail in pain. It tried to charge its horn again only for ten magic missiles hit it at the same time.

I turned to Kuril and Jade as they slumped slightly in exhaustion. Had they just fired those bolts of magic from their ears, mouths and hands? It was effective at least and I felt uncomfortable about the narwhal’s damaged horn like tooth.

Its mouth opened unleashing a groaning noise, its head moved from side to side and yet it continued to have that creepy smile. Now that I thought of it, the smile might be because of the way its tooth was piercing through its own mouth.

Maries darted past us and jumped into its mouth. Wait… what?

“I think the Vibrant Vikings might be…” Jade started to say, when Smoke started pouring out the narwhal’s mouth and it let out a wailing screech. “Alive… Jacky start hitting it and don’t stop!”

“Looks like we’re having narwhal for dinner tonight, I hope Sekhet’s hungry.” Mom, I think Sekhet could eat the whole narwhal by herself. Nobody has ever bothered to ask what she did with the Ursa Medium after she took it down. “Who am I kidding, she’s always hungry!”

Jacky started launching blasts of noon powered sunlight into it, marking it up with each shot. One went into the narwhal’s eye. The smoke in its mouth was getting bad enough that it started coughing violently. It eventually spat up the three Vikings and Maries, who all got some distance from it.

“The sword is certainly on fire now Fizzle.” Yes Jade, I can see that. It’s not my eyes that are damaged.

“I’ll be eating well tonight!” Flamberge shouted as he flew forward and started to slash away at the slowly collapsing beast.

-Jade-

“Mom, I have an idea! Get a salamander scale… Maries is it illegal to eat narwhal?” I turned to the chimera that might become my girlfriend.

“No, narwhal-ker are not protected monsters and are technically classified as fish.” Generic interrupted before Maries could tell me. “Extremely hard to catch fish, because they are more likely to catch you and completely off guard at that.”

“Well everyone, this was a group effort and we all caught a relatively small whale sized fish…. did you happen to see anyone else in there?” I asked of Generic, he simply shook his head that they hadn’t seen anything else inside of the beast. “Then cast a Salamander scale at that narwhal and let’s cook it up for a Viking feast! Just remember that I like my fish steak well done.”

“Pegasus ponies in the past were said to have eaten narwhal-ker in the era of the three tribes when food was scarcer.” That was something that Maries knew that I didn’t.

I loved Fizzle, but I didn’t know if I could love Maries as equally. They certainly deserved a fully undisturbed, and completely honest, date from me. I didn’t know how I’d even juggle between Fizzle and them, but I truly wanted to try.

Author's Notes:

The narwhal wouldn't have sat still for the wall of fire and could have easily put it out while moving around. The heat thing would have taken a while to work on something so large.

(New Alchemy Ingredient!)

28. Salamander Scales.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQvVVsq6vYY

Chapter Seventeen, Ending Year Two: Further more.

-Fizzle, Airship Mauled, Narwhal-ker Aftermath-

I really didn’t know how to feel about eating the narwhal-ker as Gene kept calling it. Was I supposed to feel kind of bad that it tasted so good? It was delicious and kind of buttery with a nice texture. I think Fluttershy would be upset with us eating the narwhal; we were making sure it wasn’t going to waste at least.

While it was certainly a hit with all the dragon and griffon Vikings, mom still had to make a vegetarian option for all the Viking yaks.

Speaking of the Vikings that had been absent, they all came back horribly roughed up. I’m guessing they hadn’t take the Highland Pukwudgies seriously enough. While they tended to their wounds, the three Vibrant Vikings were willing to share their amazing tale at how the narwhal went down to our combined efforts.

We learned how Gene and Flamberge managed to survive the insides of the monster. It was nice to know what happened when both Fortitude and Maries bravely jumped into its mouth to go help them out. Good thing the narwhal couldn’t chew anything it eats.

Ah eating, every pony’s favorite pastime. I’m pretty sure that almost all ponies had very mild carnivorous leanings, I’d associate that to Pegasus ponies interbreeding with the other two tribes for thousands of year. Also the fact that ponies kind of had building block genetics that worked with most species.

Hippogriffs and, if Jade is to be believed, sea ponies existed for a reason that ponies did things with griffons and a species of sea horse that led to the offshoot of sea pony or hippocampi.

Where thestrals came from was a little more than subject to varying contradicting accounts on how they came into existence from what I read. One thing was certain, they were both said to be blessed and cursed by the moon in equal parts. To this day, not many know how we ended up with ponies that could operate better at night and could consume bugs as a different source of sustenance.

“Hey Jade, you wouldn’t happen to know any odd species that can mix with ponies would you?” Bug eating ponies were rarer as most thestrals kept to their own kind and despite having places in the night guard they weren’t very prominent in the public mind.

Cow’s had the market cornered when it came to making cheese and ponies loved that stuff, as did many other beings and everyone knew Maria specifically had a taste for cottage cheese.

“Odd how? Ponies can almost mix their genetics with just about anything, but if you want the weirdest that would be a dragon and a pony. The combination will end up making a Kirin.” Giving Jade three seconds before she went into her tirade about them. “Kirin, by their very existence, prove that a ponies and dragons are compatible. Kirin however are very rare and are said to be signs of good fortune or long life, they are mystical creatures defined by having two powerful magical horns, dragon scales, pony body and the possible ability to gallop on the very air itself as if they were legendary reindeer. The size may vary, but Kirin don’t lead normal lives like regular dragons and are more emotionally like ponies, but long lived like dragons. One being born into the world is stated to be the passing or arrival of a wise being or illustrious ruler, I don’t know how true that actually is. Seriously though, pony and dragon genetics are really hard to mix and I think the magic of true love is really the only thing that can give or lead to the birth of a Kirin. It’s either that or a full grown dragon shrinks down small enough to be on the ponies level for specific interactions.”

“Thanks for telling me all that, I’ll keep it in mind if I see any scaly two horned ponies.” Called it, and now I’m horrified by the implications of the birds and bees involving dragons and ponies. Does Jade not know how to filter her mouth? I’ve considered this more than once on multiple occasions.

Ponies were still considered to be only three main tribes, with two well-known offshoot species and a third one Jade has yet to actually meet and logically knows exists. These offshoots are like chimera giving birth to a fully herbivorous child or parrots like Jacky being partially descended from harpies. I wondered, how do you distinguish from a parrot like Jacky and a parrot the bird? I should probably ask her about it later and just call her an Ornithinian.

Where was I going with all this thinking? I just shoved another bit of narwhal meat in my mouth and chewed. I guess I was thinking of the fact that hippogriffs have beaks and thestrals have fangs, whereas all other pony types tend to have blunt teeth. Didn’t rightly know what a sea pony had, never met one and wouldn’t know where to find them.

As for what I just heard about the Kirin? If they are as rare as Jade says they are, I can definitely consider them an offshoot that’s a once in a blue moon thing. Anyway, back to the land narwhal or narwhal-ker I was currently eating a part of.

Narwhal-ker were a very interesting species of narwhal that walks along rivers and sucks up any life that it happens to finds. It usually ends up causing famine, mostly for fish eating species and it attacks just about anything smaller than it that moves by inhaling it in. It doesn’t suck up fish eggs, but it can incidentally destroy them and they are considered natural ecological disasters in their own right because of this.

They are relentless monsters that, while they don’t breed explosively, had decent enough numbers that hydra never went hungry if they ever ran low on sanity challenged elephants. Jade was certainly fascinated by all this and to be fair I was a more than a little interested too, especially when Gene explained it to us why he kept calling it a narwhal-ker.

So I guess we did a good thing in regards to the local ecosystem around Airship Mauled.

“Excuse me, I have to go talk to mom about something.” I got up and took my plate over to Kuril who was carving up another well-cooked narwhal steak. “Hey mom, the food is really delicious. Thank you for carving me a piece and adding spices to it for extra flavor.”

“You’re welcome Fizzle, do you want some more narwhal or some more vegetables? You need to keep your diet more to your species, too much more meat after this wouldn’t be healthy for you.” Yes mom, I know that. I would still request more narwhal, it’s definitely packing plenty of protein and I was a growing mare. I wouldn’t say no to some more tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce and carrots though. “I admit the narwhal tastes fantastic after I started cooking it using Jade’s idea of utilizing a salamander scale cast. The cast is kind of useless if someone has water or can create a shockwave powerful enough to put the fire out. Though judging by your body language… more food is not the only reason you came over to me.”

“Yeah, I did have a few things to ask you, but I would like more narwhal steak and salad please.” We didn’t have to worry about the narwhal’s stomach acid or other more disgusting parts that I was definitely not going to eat. Sekhet had already magically pulled all the innards out of it and teleported it to her pyramid, thankfully without us having to see her eviscerate the narwhal for it.

Jade certainly wouldn’t have been able to scale and gut the narwhal-ker, it was a bit too big for her knife to do that.

“Okay, hold on a second while I fix you another plate Fizzle. Remember you can come to me about anything and I’ll always try to make time for you when you need me.” Mom rubbed my head and eventually put a plate loaded with delicious looking food into my eagerly waiting hooves, she then tapped me on the head and pointed to a sitting spot to sit near the campfire. She then prepared her own plate. “Come on and tell me what you want to discuss, I want to at least eat some of this too before it’s all gone and while it’s warm. Anything that remains can be magically preserved and used for soup stock later, we’ll certainly have an ample supply for that provided Sekhet can resist eating it all now.”

I sat down on the log and mom took a seat next to me, Jade gave us a curious look from where she sat and just continued eating at a sedate pace. She seemed open to the idea of letting us have our conversation without interruption.

“I want to discuss Jade’s birthday, do you have any ideas what I could get for her? How are we going to celebrate Maries’ birthday?” Was that it? No, I definitely had one more! “Also, what are we going to do with the skeleton?”

“For the skeleton, we should test it for magical alchemy properties and maybe give Zecora some chunks of its bones to see if she can do anything with them. Maybe we can even use a part of it for the archway into town.” Mom mused out loud, before she thought of my question. “Don’t know about Maries personally or how her culture celebrates birthdays, we should ask her about that. As for a present you could get Jade… what about a Power Ponies comic book?”

“Really, don’t you think our current relationship deserves a little more effort than that?” Oh sure a comic book, that’s going to be the greatest gift I could ever get Jade and there was not anything possibly better than that mom. “I’m looking more for what would be the best thing I could get her.”

“Not necessarily, the one thing Jade would want more than anything else is to have the solution to fixing your horn. You don’t have that and have no idea how to get it to give to Jade to give to you.” Well when you put it that way mom, it would be hard for me to find a way to fix my broken horn in time for Jade’s birthday.

“Any better ideas?” So something simple and heartfelt like what Jade and the rest of you did for me by calling me family and thinking

“How would I know? I’m only Jade’s mother, you’re her best friend next to Jacky.” She gave me a knowing look as I ate my food, she knew and was being coy. “I’m sure if a normal comic book isn’t a good gift to you, then what about an enchanted comic book or maybe even an enchanted O an O board.”

“What are you getting her?” I considered the idea of an enchanted comic book or Ogres and Oubliettes board, I needed to look into this idea as I didn’t know what those were. First I would maybe ask Jade if I could see her comic collection to see what was so interesting about them, then I would have to have Jacky fly me up to Canterlot to have a look around for information.

“Nothing too magical, just a bad day coupon.” Mom must have seen my intensely curious look, because she quickly elaborated. “If Jade is having a bad day, she’ll give me the coupon and I’ll go to just about any lengths to put a smile back on her face the next day. My little kitten has to know how much I love her, given I’ve been feeding her hungry mouth for years. I’m even the baker that produces her birthday cakes every year, so she gives me a free pass on lousy birthday presents as everything else I do makes up for it.”

“Mom… is this what I think it is!” We turned to see Jade with a horned rabbit sitting in her lap, it looked adorable and it was sniffing her. For some reason Jade seemed scared stiff of it.

“Yes kitten, that’s an Al-mi’raj and it’s my familiar.” Mom had quite a happy smile on her face. “I’m officially a witch!”

“Explanation?” I turned to mom.

“That’s Sugar, my familiar. Here Sugar, here girl!” The rabbit turned from Jade and happily ran over to mom and began to rub up against her with affection, then mom started to give her some of the narwhal off her plate and the rabbit ate the meat ravenously. “Al-mi’ raj are really dangerous magical horned rabbits, but I don’t really see it. See she’s an adorable little cutie, yes she is.”

“The abilities they have that make them dangerous are very specific. They can grow to a large size, either at will or when angered. It’s usually far enough to the point that one can ride them or be pierced by their powerful horn easily.” Sounds moderately dangerous there Jade, though I’m quite sure you had more on the subject as per usual. “They are also specialize at creating powerful illusions, usually they create copies of themselves and then violently perforate you. At least until they can eat you safely. With the familiar bond, she’ll probably become smart enough to start getting innovative with her illusions thanks to her bond with mom. That makes her several times more dangerous than an average Al-mi’raj, one that will end up stabbing you with her forehead spear.”

“I’m guessing that these ‘all-mirage’ creatures have a penchant for killing things with their horns?” I looked at the rabbit and then to Jade.

“Oh yes, when they charge their horns with magic, it becomes tougher and can pierce through a lot of things and even miraculously deflects magic. You should treat a charged horn on her head as lethal intent if you were upsetting her. Why if you are a unicorn that relies on magical barriers, then you’re at a… disadvantage.” Jade pauses for a moment, a small smile comes to her face and it slowly turns into a frown. “Nah, can’t do that to the guy. In any case… horn, dangerous, exceedingly!”

“That’s enough Kitten, we get it already! I’ll be sure to keep Sugar from assaulting anyone with her horn.” The pink rabbit in mom’s arms just squeaked and cuddled against her while looking up at mom with her bright blue eyes. “Now let’s finish eating.”

-The next day-

Okay I had several ideas of what to get Jade, but I couldn’t rule out making something for her birthday. I was sitting in the fruit grove alone to think when I heard Jade discussing something with Mr. Permanganate and Refreshment.

“So do you think you could make it?” What was Jade asking of the two stallions?

“It doesn’t sound dangerous.” Potassium said while rubbing his chin with a hoof.

“It’s not supposed to be. It’s a safe drink, no alcohol.” What was a safe not alcoholic drink and why did it sound important to you Jade? “It’s something I thought Fizzy would like to try and make, but I wanted to run it by you two first.”

“As long as we don’t start drinking it in excess. We know the ingredients, but not how they come together to make the drink.” It seemed like Dr. Potassium and I had something to talk about.

Chapter Seventeen, Ending Year Two: Definitely more.

Author's Notes:

(New Alchemy Ingredient!)

29. Enchanted Power Ponies Comic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RM2oRKfMq2w

-A week and a half later, Maretropolis Streets, Horniculture-

“Get back here Cat’astrophe!” I charged out of the alleyway and stared as the lithe figure came swinging back on a grappling hook erupting from her wrist mounted gauntlets. In the background I idly noticed that the city was on fire and there were a bunch of strange ponies running around. “Wait… why did I call you Cat’astrophe?”

“Because Horniculture, that’s my hero name… it’s either that or I’m a villain… an anti-hero maybe? Who knows with this outfit I’m wearing!” The costume that Cat'astrophe had looked mostly black with purple stripes except for a colorful splash of green, blue and red curved squares surrounding the center of a yellow circle that had a brown dot in the middle of it. Said circle was located on Cat’astrophe’s chest. Her fur color was now dark orange and her hair was hot pink. She looked like a… right… I get it now. “There’s an angry mob in the street and they aren’t the innocent civilian kind Horniculture. Come colorful text boxes, let us do battle with haste and stop them from doing any more damage to Maretropolis, this fair city, because that actually feels kind of like it should be my job! Am I the anti-hero that causes massive amounts of collateral damage Mr. Square? Oh, thanks!”

Who in the Tartarus was Cat’astrophe talking to? Also why were we being surrounded by nasty looking ponies in trench coats and punk clothing wielding chains, clubs and other weapons? Why was I green? What did Cat’astrophe do to us?!

“Look alive Horniculture, incoming goons!” What, but I didn’t even know what… an earth pony swung a chain for the back of her head and I ignited my green horn. A vine launched from it to strike the pony between the eyes knocking him back and out. Following my wishes, the vine wrapped around Cat’astrophe’s waist and safely pulled her back to my side. It then turned back into a normal looking horn on top of my forehead. Wait, my horn wasn’t broken? I was happy, but it didn’t feel entirely right though. “You have plant based super powers, figure them out while I cause massive amounts of collateral damage as is my characters job description as a hero with problematic destructive tendencies!”

“Who are these costumed freaks?” One of the ponies that approached us aggressively stated, but I wasn’t wearing a costume. Was I? Didn’t feel like I was. “Are you supposed to be heroes, one of you looks like a walking catastrophe. Did your mother dress you in that little kitty?”

“They must be out to save the Power Ponies from Mane-iac and High Heel in the park!” A normal looking unicorn pony in gothic wear wielding a baseball bat in his levitation shouted while pointing at us.

“Darn it Steve Limit, we were supposed to have matching punk or bum looks. They also didn’t know where the Power Ponies were until you just told them you idiot, get them before the Mane-iac finds out that we told a pair of heroes where they’re holding the Power Ponies captive!” The stallion in the trench coat charged us with several other ponies following him towards us. “They can’t possibly take us all out since we have numbers on our side!”

I stood there still confused by the change in my new, strange and foreign body, Cat’astrophe just charged forward and ducked the guys swinging his bat for her head with his magic. Her fist lit on fire and she swung it upwards becoming a spinning tornado of fire that had the other ponies backing away in fear.

“Shorhiryushotenyukenbeevenmoreincomprehensiblegibberishthatendsin-ha!” What? After the flaming tornado stopped an airborne Cat’astrophe pulled back both her arms and fired a blue beam of energy towards the crowd of aggressive looking ponies. They started scattering as the street was ripped up with excessive amounts of unnecessary force that sent bits of rubble ramming its way into multiple pony minion heads. Cat landed in a crouch. “Look alive Horniculture and be the hero! Fast Ball Pon-Pon-Pata-Don-Ken Special Tsh~!”

Cat’astrophe threw a… snare drum? It slammed itself over a pony that had been sneaking up on me and… it broke while ensnaring the front half of his body.

What a horrible visual… two cymbals followed noisily bouncing off his struggling head and cut through a nearby lightning light pole. When it fell, it landed on two other minions… and damaged the street further.

Why was I thinking of them as minions? Are we actually in the comic book? I can hardly wrap my head around how sustaining a comic book would do all this.

Catching something in my peripheral vision, I ducked and a chain flew over my head, I bucked the guy behind me in the face dazing him. I turned and stretched my green left hoof out in an unnatural manner and grabbed him with it.

Lifting him up into the air, I slammed him into the ground behind me violently and into two baseball bat wielding minions.

I then whipped his body around while stretching my leg to take out several ponies that had surrounded me. Why did this feel so exhilarating?

“That’s the idea Horniculture, get into it! Boring but practical karate chop…” Cat’astrophe intoned dully as she dodged to the left around a ponies right hoof strike aiming for her stomach and then lazily slapped the side of her left hand into the side of his neck. “Explosion!”

The minion flew into a nearby brick wall at a high velocity, despite the fact that it didn’t look like Cat’astrophe put much force into the blow. The minion became embedded in it and was now unconscious, the part of the wall he wasn’t forced into fell completely apart.

Somehow the minion was still alive. How did I know he wasn’t… oh neat, I can see life. Was I supposed to see life?

“You’re plant senses are tingling; so watch out for the guy with the fireball behind you, its super effective against you!” I felt heat coming at me from behind and rolled to the right, I turned around and retaliated. “Deal with him, I’ll handle macho wrestler trench coat earth pony minion number five over here off screen!”

A vine whipped out from my green horn and grabbed his, stopping him from forming another fireball. I pulled my head back and he came rocketing towards me, I raised my right hoof and rammed it into his face forcing him into the ground where I grinded his body into it for a second.

For some reason I felt justified in not pulling my hoof or strength upon hitting him and knocking a few of his teeth out. Hearing a cacophonous noise, I turned to see what Cat’astrophe was destroying now.

I saw Cat’astrophe holding up a wrestling mask and was standing triumphantly over an unconscious tied up pony with her right foot on his barrel. She, SOMEHOW, knocked over a small building in the process of capturing him. Said building was still collapsing behind her and exploding in multiple places, thankfully it was empty of life.

“Who are you crazy dames to have taken out Nasty Noir’s crew so fast?” We turned to a trench coat wearing unicorn minion pony with a fedora. His entire color scheme was all solid gray, including his fur, hair, clothing and even his eyes.

“We’re the delightful duo ‘Horny with Cat’!” That was awful Cat’astrophe and you should feel awful. “Oh fine thought bubble above Horniculture’s head, she’s the beautiful red headed plant powered pony mistress of vegetation Horniculture! I’m just Cat’astrophe the uninteresting one. We’re the Twisted Twosome and we’re going to save the Power Ponies~!”

“You’re clinically insane aren’t you?” Nasty asked of Cat’astrophe, she nodded and threw a wildly squawking live flamingo at him from out of nowhere.

Somehow the flamingo managed to take him down on its own within seconds of slamming into him and an amount of seemingly chaotic flapping and kicking.

“Good job our faithful sidekick Pocket Flamingo, watch this mob until the police come to pick them up!” Where did you get the flamingo from Cat’astrophe, also did it just salute you? I shook my head, I was having problems keeping up with what’s going on given how absurd Jade was acting. Oh sure, I could think her name, but I couldn’t actually say it right now. “Let’s go Horniculture, we have some powerful ponies in distress to rescue! I’m going to fly ahead, catch up to me by vine swinging after me in an awesome fashion. Whoosh…”

She started running down the road at a high speed, while making whooshing noises with her arms held above her head. Each step she took caused the street to shake and crack beneath her feet. I flicked my horn at a nearby building that wasn’t on fire and a vine launched forward to grapple onto that building, with a small tug I was rocketing after her.

“Cat’astrophe, how do you even we know where we’re going?” I asked her while trying to get a rhythm of swinging from the vines that erupted from my hooves and connected to the buildings, clouds and whatever else I was aiming at. Like that well timed passing gyrocopter that my vine hooked onto.

“They said they had the Power Ponies trapped in the park, and we’re about to hit a scene transition panel.” Would you stop for a single second and explain your current insanity Cat’astrophe?! “Stop pointing thought bubbles at me and be prepared to strike a pose for the captive audience Horniculture. We’ve got villains to fight when we land!”

-Extreme scene transition panel!!!-

With a flip Cat’astrophe landed on her feet and strikes her sun salutation pose, she landed as if she had been flying.

I on the other hoof landed on my face and tumbled on to my back and dug my rear hooves into the dirt to stop my momentum. It didn’t hurt and the dirt felt... kind of refreshing actually. I picked up some and ate it.

Why did I like the taste of dirt? Oh right, I was currently a plant pony.

There was a giant shower head hanging above the cage with the tied up costumed ponies, I suppose we were going to rescue the six of them.

“Soon you Power Ponies won’t be able to resist my alluring charms, because I will have mane washed you with my controlling shampoo! The conditioner afterwards is just to make your manes nice and is not actually anything special, I just like mares with long silky hair and wished my significant other would grow hers out a bit more.” Let me guess, the now cackling green haired pony was the villain we’re here to stop. She stopped and turned to us with a disdainful glance. “Let me guess, Mr. Limit dropped the ball again. I shouldn’t have let the minions unionize, they just keep making a mess of things and you just can’t get good help these days! High Heel, absolutely keep Collateral Cat’astrophe away from the machine while I get it running! The water and shampoo needs time to mix together properly, I’ll deal with The Healthy Horniculture!”

“Stick to the plan Horniculture!” What plan, all Cat’astrophe said after ‘when we land’ were the words ‘explanation’ and ‘exposition’ over and over again. Why did I suddenly know that we had a plan, better yet why did I have to get Jade this enchanted comic book? “Afterwards we can play a few games of enchanted O and O!”

Yes, I got Jade an enchanted comic book and it she looked like she was having a lot of fun. I couldn’t get angry at her on her birthday, she'd handle High Heel while I went after Mane-iac.

Wouldn’t her enchanted O and O scenarios be much more insane than this? I started to weep, at least the lemon lime drinks I had made weren’t going to do anything horrible to anyone.

Did I really have to go to such extremes for Jade? Yes, yes I did and I was making her happy by sharing in this experience with her.

Mane-iac threw a switch and a countdown on the machine started.

-Cat’astrophe-

“Why don’t you heel to the queen of shoes?” Oh were we doing one liners High Heel, I could do that! “Just give up and join the winning side Cat’astrophe, your impossibly destructive habits would be welcome amongst us villains.”

“Banana pudding!” I shouted before I charged her, she was so distracted by what I yelled that she didn’t have time to protect her face from the chocolate cream pie I was holding. She ate a bit of the pie as she wiped it off her face and glared at me.

“You are so getting a shoe-mare-rang where the sun doesn’t shine.” At the shoe themed villainess’s words, I just made a simple come at me gesture. She had a red costume, pulled back purple hair reminiscent of Fizzle’s mane style, shiny blue high heeled shoes and a tail that look like a tied shoe string, she didn’t look very threatening at all.

She leapt at me and swung her left hoof, her shoe went flying off and curved around to slam into the side of my face knocking me down, I saw the shoe go spinning back to her and it landed on her hoof. Okay, so I wasn’t the only one who could do crazy things around here.

“Seriously, who learns to throw shoes like that?” I rubbed at my right cheek wiping away a bit of blood and stood up to go toe to hoof with her. “Sure they might have blades on them, but they are still shoes!”

-Horniculture-

“You’re not going to get away with this Mane-iac!” I fired a vine at her and she countered with a hair tendril, we tried to pull at each other, but we were evenly matched.

I pulled on her mane with my vines. Her hair was directly connected to her head and tail so… I created several more vines from my shoulder and wrapped them around her tail and head.

I heaved her into the air to slam her down, only for her to cushion herself with her admittedly attractive mane. Maybe I just liked green hair.

“You’re not going to stop me Horniculture, you and you’re destructive friend will not prevent me from taking control of the power ponies!” She tried to lift me off the ground with her tendril, but I rooted myself in place and pulled with all my might to send her flying again. “You’ve got five minutes to defeat both of us or else the Power Ponies are mine, you’ll never make it. Like how I’ll never make this formula again because of the rare and obscure ingredients needed for me to do all of this in the first place! you have no idea or appreciation for how hard it is to lure six costumed ponies into a complex trap like this.”

She flicked two hair tendrils at me in a gesture for me to come at her.

I would gladly do that!

-Jacky-

“Will the newest heroes, The Healthy Horniculture and Collateral Cat’astrophe, defeat Mane-iac and High Heel? Find out soon as the story continues!” It sounded like my Captain was having fun. Time must move a lot faster in the comic, because the comic book will only begin to make more pages in thirty minutes.

Chapter Seventeen, Ending Year Two: Fighting more.

Author's Notes:

Well, time to take a well deserved break from writing.

This is the last chapter you'll be seeing for a while, since I'm going on hiatus! If you are coming to this at a later date when I've come back, then you can ignore this and the next paragraph.

I'm taking a six day break starting now and will be back on the twentieth... barring any life related issues. Twenty first or twenty second at the latest.

In number form 13th-20/21/22.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxX6QrtWYDc

-Cat’astrophe-

Our battle started with a guitar riff, yeah this music was my jam!

What did I know about High Heel?

She worked in a shoe store. After taking one too many idiotic customers in a store where the customer was always considered right, she turned to a life of crime where the customer isn’t always right and annoyingly idiotic. She actually kind of had a good reason for turning evil, which is why she chose the moniker High Heel the queen of dangerous hoof wear.

Whoops… almost got hit by two thrown shoes while thinking, I blasted them both out of the air with beams of energy from my palms that blew the burning roofs off nearby buildings.

At least they were no longer on fire.

She’s Mane-iac’s best friend or some would say significant other, some say she just likes being tied up by the Power Ponies as much as she does green hair. One thing any Power Ponies comic fan can agree on is this, she was highly effective even while on a shoestring budget.

I crouched and swung for her face with the claws on my left hand. She dodged to the right under them and performed a back flip to follow up having dodge my attacked, she landed a kick to my chin with both of her rear hooves.

I was knocked onto my back and she gave me a mocking smile.

“Does the poor little kitty need a… agh!” I knocked the horned tiara off of her forehead with a shuriken that I threw with my tail, my character was quite talented.

High Heel was just as talented as she was acrobatic and had interesting combat gimmicks, for a villain I shipped with Mane-iac. Phony Pharaoh definitely went well with Smudge too.

I only had the one shuriken though, my character was just full of surprises. Most of said surprises were a once a battle kind of thing.

“Whoa, that was awesome.” I turned to the colt and gave him a flat look, huh I was wondering where Humdrum was in the comics. He had green fur, green eyes and brown mane, the colt was kind of cute and I wanted to hug him. Unfortunately I was busy. “I mean you did knock down a row of trees with that shuriken, but that throw with your tail was still awesome!”

My character causes destruction even when I didn’t mean to, I mean how was I to know a shuriken would cut through all those trees. To be fair it was a heavily blunted shuriken in the shape of a cat head, so how in the Tartarus did it cut through all those trees?!

To be perfectly clear, everything I do may cause collateral damage, but none of it is ever lethal.

“Say kid, want to be a hero? Go try and stop that machine while I deal with this, you can do it little guy!” He looked at me in surprise and I looked him in the eyes. “Anyone can be a hero kid, whether you have powers or not, all that matters is that you try and save the day! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to push you out of the way and destroy some playground equipment… by accident of course, it would never be on purpose. What kind of hero would I be if I did that?”

I shoved the confused, but now enlightened, colt away and rolled towards the merry go round avoiding the shoe string whips with metal aglets on the end that came whipping at me from High Heel. The several whipping strikes dug small divots into the ground as they chased my rolling form.

I saw the colt running off for the machine and quickly glanced off to the side to see Mane-iac was having trouble fending off Fizzle’s weird plant anatomy, but they were about evenly matched.

We weren’t getting anywhere close to the machine and I could be the one to destroy it, either that or it would be the as of yet unnamed Humdrum.

I dodged High Heel’s attempt to whip me and once the whips wrapped around the bars of the merry go round, I gave her an evil smile.

“How about we go for a spin!” I kicked the merry go round with the full force and leapt away as it started spinning rapidly with High Heel attached to it by her shoe string whips.

Their were unfortunate side effects to spinning the merry go round at high speeds, it was that it broke away from the ground and tore through the empty playground like a spinning top of doom. All while slamming High Heel into the jungle gym, the slide, the teeter-totters and everybody’s favorite thing here the bouncy animal springers, one of which was a smiling dog that launched High Heel over my head before it was subsequently destroyed.

I turned away from the rather graphic destruction of the foal’s playground. I felt really bad about that, but at least High Heel was dealt…

“How about I give you the boot!” I took a boot up my backside and was launched forward to slam face first into the ground. “Now here’s the shoe-mare-rang where the sun doesn’t shine like I promised!”

I felt something ram its way into my costume, I bit back a scream. Okay even with super powers, like super strength, energy projection and etcetera, that had seriously hurt! I carefully picked myself up and turned to High Heel.

“Ow... that really hurts.” I should have realized it wouldn’t have been easy. She was a tough earth pony and quite notably dangerous. We stared each other down and charged. “Tatsumakioctopusspinningroundhousesaypuntakoyaki!”

I flew forward twirling rapidly and slamming my left pawed foot into her face eight times making her stumble back with each consecutive hit, before jumping and kicking her with my right leg putting her on her back.

I went to attack her, but she was ready for me.

“Shoes-to-go-in!” She brought both her hooves together and thrusts them forward, I heard a device clicking and that sent two flaming blue shoes right into my face. Once more I was on my back.

She got up and ran forward and leapt while rearing back her right hoof for a deciding blow to my face with a stiletto blade. I lifted up my legs and planted them into the ponies suddenly surprised chest, rolled back and then launched her face first into a tree.

High Heel fell to the ground off of the toppled tree unmoving, I had finally knocked her out.

I quickly went to check on her health and started to pull out some bindings to tie her up with. I wondered how Fizzle was doing.

-Humdrum-

I didn’t think I could be a hero, but that hero believed in me. I just wished she hadn’t destroyed the playground, but she’s known as Collateral Cat’astrophe for a reason.

I had to rescue the Power Ponies, because we very well couldn’t be left with heroes like Cat’astrophe running around to save the day!

The whole city would be destroyed in less than week.

“Don’t worry Power Ponies, I’ll get you out of there or my name isn’t…” What would be a cool super hero name? High Heel was a villain that didn’t need super power, so why would I need super power myself? I wasn’t going to go slinging around shoes or being evil though, I needed something more heroic to focus on. Oh, I can be the power of heart and friendship! Since I was an innocent bystander about to involve myself in the world of super heroes, I might as well call myself. “Humdrum!”

“Get out of here kid and get some real help!” The weather controlling pony hero Zapp shouted to me, I ignored her and moved to the control panel. I knew I could help them!

Now how do you work this thing? Hey, there was no shut off switch! That highly diabolical of Mane-iac and High heel. Then how do I… oh I have an idea!

-Horniculture-

With a slash of her mane the purple furred pony with the long green hair slashed through several of my vines breaking free of my hold.

She whipped her head around and slammed me with a swirling mass of hair in the shape of a big hoof that sent me tumbling. I stopped my tumbling by firing my leg roots into the ground and stopping my momentum, I swung back for Mane-iac and released my roots and launched forward.

She put her mane between me and her, only I fell short and sunk into the ground.

-Mane-iac-

“Huh? Where did she… oof!” I received a hoof to the chin as she popped out of the ground like a sprout, this had me seeing stars. Very pretty, if agonizing stars!

-Horniculture-

“Flowering flourish!” I stretched my two hooves behind me and then brought them forward in a rapid barrage of high speed hoof jabs that started to riddle her tough body with bad black and blue bruises.

While I positively percussively pummeled the purple pony in her chest and face, I created a whip from my horn covered it in spikes and wrapped it around the entirety of her mane and tightened it.

I flicked my tail around and wrapped the vines forming from it tightly around her tail and pinned her.

“Let go of my hair, I don’t like having it bound!” Her mane struggled against my thorny vines grasping them. I slapped her across the face with my left hoof and caught her flailing leg trying to come at me from the right and struck her again.

Despite her super mane being her main power, she was still tough. With enough struggling, she managed to get some of her mane free and it wrapped around my throat and tried to choke me out.

“Why aren’t you choking, I have your by the neck!” For some reason this wasn’t working as she thought it would. Being a plant, I created my own oxygen nitrogen mix and her exhaling on me in angry really doesn’t help her case.

With a sharp jerk of my head I slapped my rose colored petal soft mane across her face and grappled her to the point that I could grab and ram her face into the ground. I managed to wrap the lose bit of hair in another vine that sprouted from my neck.

“Eat dirt Mane-iac, because it tastes pretty much like justice to me!” She struggled against me and managed to push off the ground launching us both into the air, I was a lot lighter than her.

I was smashed underneath the weight of her body and she managed to get me in a position where she could kick me in the belly with her leg multiple times.

“Let go, let go, let go!” Weathering the storm, despite Mane-iac managed to get both of her legs into it to bucking me repeatedly, I held onto her valiantly.

I had to stop her somehow, I bit her on the ear and she yelped before looking at me and with tears in her eyes, before they turned angry on me. She continued to buck at me as I tried to choke her by increasing the number of vines I had wrapped around her.

There was a loud ding from the machine, we froze. Mane-iac smiled and I looked up, the tube leading to the shower head filled up. I turned to see what Jade was doing, she busy tying up High Heel and… was that a shoe sticking out of her butt? No matter, I needed to stop the machine before…

“No!” I watched as the shampoo started to spray the six ponies in the cage, Jade looked up at me and we both watched as the cage was flooded with suds.

“Oh yes! I know it’s a bit too soon for the conditioner, but I need the help with this preposterous plant pony!” Mane-iac reached into her purple and gold suit with black hoof boots to pull out a remote device. The cage opened and the soap covered Power Ponies walked out. “Say hello to my new team of super villains! Attack Horniculture my beautifully haired pets!”

“Oh, are we supposed to follow you’re orders Mane-iac?” The Masked Matter-horn walked forward while wiping shampoo off of her clothes and goggles. “I don’t think so Mane-iac, you’ve lost!”

“What, but where did my plan go…!” Mane-iac didn’t get to say much more.

I flattened out my green horn, shaped it like a circular hammer and slammed my face into the side of her head knocking her out.

“Do you think that knocked her out?” I was approached by the brown haired one, I think her name was Saddle Rager. Her voice reminded me of Fluttershy, but her fur and hair color were completely different.

“I think that did it, you can let go of her now.” At Saddle’s words, I carefully and slowly released Mane-iac from my hold.

“I’ll go help the fire department put out those fires!” Zapp shot off into the sky to start up a rain storm.

“How did it not work?” I asked curiously.

“A civilian called Humdrum helped us out, he made the machine use the conditioner first.” Ah that explains it. “Now we just have to stop it from using the actual mind control shampoo... which I have to get to!”

Masked Matterhorn ran off and left me with the other mares sitting here in an awkward position.

“So… The Healthy Horniculture, nice to meet you.” I started to introduce myself, only for something to explode off to the side. Really Jade, couldn’t you have gone another minute without causing destruction? You’ve already destroyed the playground, the ground itself and a number of trees… which I can fix with my powers! “I’m a plant pony hero and my partner is… a bit of a mess, but Cat’astrophe means well. Excuse me while I fix all the tree’s she knocked over.”

I concentrated and started to wrap my vines around numerous trees and started fixing a little of what Jade broke.

“I can’t do anything about the building, the street light or the ruined playground, but saving the trees is something I can do!” I gave the Power Ponies looking at me a sheepish smile.

“A building, your friend knocked over a…?” Before Saddle could get any farther, it started to rain heavily and I quickly ran off to grab Jade.

“Cat’astrophe, let’s get out of here… I don’t think the Power Ponies are going to be too happy with your destructive heroic tendencies.” I stated loudly through clenched teeth, as I grabbed her with a vine and started to drag her away from the super powered ponies that may want to pummel her.

“Is that a no getting an autograph from them?” Cat’astrophe was giving me big kitty eyes.

“Fine, get me something to sign." I watched her wrench the shoe out of her backside and held it out to me.

I roughly grabbed it from her.

-Five minutes later, Jade-

We popped out of the comic book and I was holding High Heel’s shoe autographed by Saddle Rager, Fili-second and Radiance.

“We're not doing that again any time soon.” Fizzle stated blandly.

To think we still had the rest of my birthday party and presents to go through, it's only been about an hour and I was having a blast!

Chapter Seventeen, Ending Year Two: Snake more.

-Many weeks later, Fizzle-

Things became a bit calm around Airship Mauled for the autumn, mostly because a third Viking airship crushed Rata and Sekhet. The third ship was looking for the other two lost ships, by then Quetzalcoatl had already left to go back to his duties. Rata was staying in town to run the town’s postal service, I think he might have a think for Jacky which would be awkward considering his status as a god.

I repeat, a red flying squirrel god was now in charge of our mail and we were all nuts to think that was anything close to normal. Yes, we converted an airship into a post office and he was the de facto head of delivering mail around here. He was a messenger god, so it made sense in some respect and he was quite adept at it and seemed to have be enamored with one of my best friends. It wasn’t a familiar bond like what Jade and Kuril had with Snickers and Sugar, but it almost seemed like Rata wanted one with Jacky.

Gene, Flamberge and Fortitude were still around, given we had some readily available airship housing for them. We had expert adventurers that wanted to call this place, which was oddly magnetic to weirdoes like them, home.

Currently I wasn’t at Airship Mauled, I was on a nature walk with Maries. Alone in the forest, with a creature that has threatened to eat ponies before and has the strength and muscle to carry out said threat.

She wouldn’t do that because we were friends. I logically knew that Maries wasn’t like that, aside from occasionally bringing a dead bird to Kuril. For some reason getting dead birds made Kuril happy, it was likely either a cat thing or an Abyssinian thing.

Between us there was an awkward silence, this was supposed to be a form of date Maries could go on where they… wouldn’t cause a panic. Was this a date? It felt more like an outing with a good friend, only a little more intimate.

“So… Maries, do you think Jade is doing something weird?” I was bound to get three separate opinions on the matter unless they were of one mind.

“Knowing Jade she’s probably doing something exciting and action packed.” That’s what Mara placed her bet on.

“I’d think Jade was taking it easy today, she seems to want a lazy day lately.” You could be correct Maria, Jade could get lazy when she wasn’t exercising for school or with training with her knife.

I still thought Jade could use a better weapon, one with more of a monster averting nature.

“If we’re guessing about what Jade is doing, then at best I’d go with Fizzle’s suggestion and say it’s something weird.” Thanks Marie, at least I got a vote of confidence from one part of you. “So Fizzle, has Jade initiated a kiss with you yet?”

“No, I want her to be the one to kiss me.” Right now, I believed that Jade loved all the cardboard boxes she got for her birthday more than she did me. I should not feel jealous of inanimate objects winning Jade’s heart!

“You’re lucky you’ve managed to work up the courage kiss her.” Intoned Mara with a hint of sadness.

“Yeah, we can give her affectionate licks to the cheek, but I don’t think she’s going to be an initiator.” Well Maria, I don’t think it was because she was shy.

“I think Jade rather receive, than give. She’s a tad greedy like that.” With a thoughtful look on her face Marie continued. “She definitely willing to do just about anything to make you happy though Fizzle, wished she could do the same for my sisters. They like her a lot, I’m more or less throwing in with them because I’m outvoted in the department of pursuing Jade actively. I’d think our fishing date went pretty well if not for the interruption, but really we’re almost being stuck in the friend zone by her.”

“You’re not the only one feeling like you’re being friend zoned.” Logically I knew Jade loved me and was willing to prove it, I just wasn’t asking her to. As much as I craved affection, I wasn’t actively seeking it out for the very reason that I was obsessed with it. It was nerve wracking to want something so badly, but to try and force it to come about would be the worst possible course of action.

Why did I and Jade like each other again? It was because Jade and her mother invited me into their family without a second though.

“The leaves are pretty today.” Idly commented Mara looking at all the orange, red and yellow leaves falling from the trees around us as we walked.

“We think you’re quite pretty too.” Did Maria really just claim I was pretty?

I didn’t feel pretty or look beautiful, but the way Jade’s eyes light up when she looks at me said a lot. It’s the same way Maries sometimes looked at her too. Where was my life going that I was pondering a relationship with a chimera and a cat?

Well the cat in question wasn’t a normal one by any stretch of the imagination and the chimera was a lawyer, life was strange like that. Maries were, in their own way, quite beautiful in an exotic kind of way.

I’m seriously checking them out right now. Mara kept her fur soft, Maria was a fluffy goat head and Marie was quite the intellectual.

“Thank you…” Was I blushing? I still didn’t understand chimera body language, much less an Abyssinians. The Abyssinian body language makes them seem aloof, but I was comparing them to pony body language.

Maries’ body language was a mixed bag, but right now they seem scared of me and even a bit… shy? I moved closer to them and nuzzled Maria’s neck affectionately, I was the one that initiated things and I may as well continue being the brave one.

How does one go about loving a chimera? Its three different people in one body, where they have a collective mind when they work together in synchronous harmony with one another. Should I specialize my affectionate responses for each of them separately? Should I only be affectionate with one of them and expect them to share the feeling throughout?

I can kind of guess why Jade had so much trouble showing them more affection, she really didn’t know how to proceed and I didn’t either. I moved over and nuzzled Mara, only she nuzzled back. I received that well enough and moved on to hug Marie so she didn’t feel left out.

We just continued walking through the forest after that without a word, at least until I asked a question that had been on my mind since the first time I met them.

“So knowing about snakes like I do, can all of you smell the air with your tongues or is it just Marie?” Yes, this is seriously the thing I’ve been wondering about.

“Yes, we can all smell with our tongues.” Confirmed Maria who cringed at having to answer the question.

“My sister don’t like that ability, because no matter how they breathe they can smell everything.” Perking up after telling me that Marie continued. “At least our tracking abilities can’t be disabled, but I can understand why smelling with your tongue all the time is a bad thing.”

“At least your nostrils don’t have the ability to smell anything Marie.” Groused out Mara. She would be quite correct as snakes didn’t smell with their nostrils, they only breathed with them. This lead to my next question of getting to know Maries.

“So what do all of you like to eat?” I was expecting one answer.

“Fish, grilled, baked, served with a bit of lemon, salted and any other way Kuril can think to make it.” Well that was obvious given Mara loved her protein and being a chimera they needed to eat a lot of food in a day to stay healthy and strong.

“I prefer cottage cheese, everyone knows that.” Well that was wasn’t very interesting, because everyone knew Maria liked cottage cheese. “It’s full of proteins and other essential vitamins and minerals for a growing chimera like us.”

“Spaghetti, doesn’t matter what kind. I just really like noodles in general.” Staring at Marie, I was expecting something else like rats or birds. “What? I like carbohydrates, they are quite filling for us and matriarch Kuril can make a huge servings for us.”

I would spend the next few hours on our date getting to know Maries better as three individuals and as a collective whole, they’d even ask me a few questions about myself as well. Could we work together, could we stand to date Jade normally? Did we have to make Jade choose between us? It wasn’t an immediate concern at the moment.

-Jacky-

This was an immediate concern at the moment.

“Captain… Jade… are you feeling okay?” I was staring wide eyed at an unusual sight. Jade’s body was at the bottom of the stairs, but that’s not what I was staring at.

“Did you just actually use my name? I should be asking if you’re okay!” Staring at Jade in disbelief, I got a little indignant with her. “What’s wrong Jacky?”

“You are what is wrong captain!” I could hardly even tell what I’m looking at right now, it shouldn’t be physically possible. “Have you looked at yourself recently?”

“No, why?” Jade continued to read the Power Ponies comic book she had in front of her, only she was a ghostly white being sitting in a seat.

“Because you’re dead Captain, that’s what’s wrong with you!” I shouted at her while staring at her body at the bottom of the stairs.

“I’m not dead, I’m just resting.” Much to my disbelief that Jade didn’t notice her change of state.

“Look, you look like a ghost, which looks exactly like your body over there, so you must be dead!” I pointed out to her.

“No, no, I’m just resting.” That wasn’t a very strong denial in your case you spectral white cat reading a comic book as if everything were normal. “It must be something with my hair that’s spooking you Jacky, Fizzle didn’t brush me this morning.”

“You’re hair doesn’t even enter into this Captain!” I pointed out and she continued to lazily read the comic book.

“Look, if I were dead, do you think I wouldn’t know about it?” She stated blithely, almost unaware of her body lying at the bottom of the stairs. “If I were dead, then how am I talking to you right now?”

“Okay, if you’re just resting, then I’ll just have to wake you up.” I walked over to her body on the floor there was some shattered glass nearby and some white fluids, but I ignored that and began talking to her body. “Hello Jade, I’ve got a nice juicy bit of fruit candy for you.”

Jade’s specter walked over and kicked her body making it move slightly.

“See I moved, I’m alive.” She then went back to sit down and missed the chair and then started floating there in the air reading the comic book. “Now let me read my comic book Jacky, I’m about to find out why Mane-iac’s hair is never cut when it would make the Power Ponies lives much easier.”

“That was you just kicking your body!” I was getting indignant with her now, because this was ridiculous.

“Well if I’m awake enough to kick myself, then I must be alive.” She said plainly while reading her comic book. “Darn it Radiance, that’s not how you use a lawnmower! Though that is an interesting idea...”

“You are definitely deceased Captain.” Thus I started a tirade about this. “You’ve passed on! You’re a cat no more! You have ceased to be! You’ve expired and might soon meet your maker! You are a late cat! You’re a stiff, bereft of life and almost resting in peace! You’re pushing up dandelions! YOU are an ex-cat!”

“What’s going on in here?” Kuril walked in and saw me standing over Jade’s body and looked at the ghost floating in the air and reading a comic book. “Wow, that’s kind of amazing.”

“Hey, you were at least right about one of those things… I’m meeting my maker right now. Hi mom! Also this situation seems familiar to me.” Jade looked away from her comic to wave at her mother. “Isn’t it supposed to be the parrot that’s in this situation though?”

I had no idea what Jade was muttering about, but I’m pretty sure she’d explain it to me later. In fact she even started giggling about something.

“Tomatoes that jump away from danger… always hilarious.” Muttered Jade, who just shook her head and went back to reading her comic book.

Kuril sent me a look.

“I didn’t kill her!” I threw up my talons in a defensive manner and hoped that she believed me.

Kuril raised her right brow ever so delicately and looked at me as if I were an idiot.

“She’s not dead though.” Stated mom after a moment.

“… what!?" I pointed at the specter who licked her fingers, deftly grabbed the corner page on her comic book and turned it. "Then what do you call that!”

“The very manifestation of my daughter’s willpower to continue reading her comic book in spite of her current out of body issue.” Kuril went over to Jade’s body and put an ear up against Jade’s mouth and after a moment she stood up. “She’s not dead in the slightest though. She fell down the stairs, but that didn’t kill her. She, like any Abyssinian worth their salt, landed on her feet. Unfortunately her impact with the floor caused one of my potions to fall off the nearby shelf and it splattered her. That explains the white liquid.”

“What exactly is the potion that caused that to happen?” I pointed a talon over my shoulder at Jade, who looked up from her comic book and shrugged at us.

“I don’t know, but if I’m stuck like this for a while, then I have the perfect costume for celebrating Nightmare Night at least.” Jade looked thoughtful as she put her nose back into her comic book. “Only I can’t turn invisible like this, I could just go with the whole bedsheet wearing ghost routine.”

“It’s a potion that, should an alicorn or a magically equivalent being like a god drinks it, allows one to view things in the distant past as if they were a ghost. It needs to sit in a room with a constant temperature for a while.” Kuril poked her kitten a few times. “Instead, it was used up too soon and worked on contact instead of by ingestion. When it’s still in the contact phase, all it does is basically separate your spirit from your body for a while. Jade will be stuck like this for a few hours and she’s perfectly fine. Her body is still breathing on its own and the effect will eventually wear off.”

“No skin off my current face.” One can only wonder how Jade was taking this so calmly. “It doesn’t even have skin.”

“Yes, anyway, never take the potion once it is fully completed unless you’re a god like entity.” Kuril warned us. “It does some relatively awful stuff to normal people.”

Author's Notes:

Not posting daily anymore, maybe every other day or at random.

I do me.

You do you.

Chapter Seventeen, Ending Year Two: Snowing more.

-Barely Bearable Woods-

There was a small pink bunny with a horn, her name was Sugar and she was wandering through Barely Bearable Woods in the snow.

It was quite unfortunate for the attacking Drop Bear that they don’t hibernate for the winter.

The loudly growling bear came down as a growing shadow upon this innocent looking creature, which unfortunately for the drop bear was an Al-mi’raj or more commonly known as the deadly magical horned mirage rabbit.

Said drop bear slammed straight through the illusionary rabbit into the ground roughly. Drop bears were used to missing their targets, as such they had tough bodies that can survive terminal velocity drops.

What they weren’t used to, is being hunted by their targets. The bear, being far more than three times the size of the small rabbit shaped entity, had been assured of its victory.

The huge mound of snow next to where the drop bear landed erupted and a shining horn attached to a demonic looking rabbit with glowing eyes flew straight for the drop bear. Said rabbit was twice the size of the drop bear.

-one minute later-

The snow around the suspiciously clean pink rabbit sized creature was covered in specks of red and next to it was a pile of bones in the vague shape of a drop bear.

Sugar just licked the back of her paw innocently.

With this bit of strangeness, it was winter in Airship Mauled.

-Snickers, somewhere in the frozen north. Mostly west of yak territory and near ‘Middle of Nowhere In Particular’.-

Feel close! I be big smart and special knowing.

Cold, snuggle fur of friend!

“Coo!” Let big friendly white creature know we be near, can go from here on own.

“*Incoherent growling bear noise?*” Big fluffy creature be good friend.

“Coo, hiss, coo coo!” Big friend be accepting, now I fly and find happiness! Once I get cold stuff off first. “Coo coo?”

Large creature remove me from back and wipe cold stuff away from body, can fly now!

I wave goodbye to friend and follow senses that get stronger.

I am knowing stuff, big stuff of best strength. Happiness is here, need to find!

Looking… looking… found!

Fly into wood wall with circle thing twice and sit on ground to wait.

Too cold to stay out for long, hope response soon. I not good with cold, like warm and hot!

“Who’s there?” Out came pretty, now how to convince?

I not big smart enough to talk like great bond kitty. Bond is making me greater, but not nearly that great. I happy for bond, even if not mate bond. Want mate bond eventually, best strength make stronger.

“Coo!” Attention get, likely warmer inside. It cold, please help.

“What the… a turtle?” The pretty for cow crouches and looks at me, I clamp onto face and they stand up. “Gah… what in the world is a sweet little turtle like you doing out here in the middle of nowhere?”

“Coo!” Sorry can’t tell, not big smart enough to speak you.

“Shouldn’t you be hibernating or something?” Nope, am finding you for cow! I am shaking head no. “You poor thing, you’re so cold. I don’t even know how you’re even awake in this weather. Also, I just noticed… you’re a sea turtle.”

“Coo!” I think pretty is big smart, I raise right limb and wave. Continue to hold face tightly with left, didn't want to fall.

“What’s a sea turtle doing all the way out here?” Pretty be bringing me into big wood cave, kind of like cave of great bond kitty. It nice and warm. “Well whatever you’re reasons for being out here are, let me bring you inside and help you get all warmed up now. Welcome to the town of ‘Middle of Nowhere In Particular’, you aren’t the first strange thing to appear here and you won’t be the last.”

Pretty be happiness for cow, senses are big strong!

-Blade-

I stalked my prey, she was unaware of my presence as I walked along the bottom of the tree limb and flared my wings in preparation for attack.

I would only get one chance at this and I had to make this count. While I hadn’t been tortured, my skills may have been atrophied somewhat in captivity.

This was the most perfect opportunity to strike.

I would not get another shot at this.

-Fizzle-

We were sitting near the never ending campfire outside, Jade and me specifically. She was looking pretty down even if she wanted to play in the snow quite badly.

Jade was a bit gloomy that Snickers still hadn’t returned from wherever she went, a cat and her turtle were hard to pull apart. When they were near each other and they both wanted to have fun anyway.

“I’m sure she’ll come back eventually Jade, maybe she just flew south for the winter?” I tried to comfort her and wrapped a hoof around her back and gave her a gentle hug.

“She didn’t do that the first year though, never had I seen a flying turtle so determined to weather the cold.” Well Jade wasn’t wrong there, Snickers did stay awake throughout the last winter and had a lot of fun doing that. “It was rather heartwarming, I mean she’s part bird and she must have had trouble ignoring her greater instincts. Now I don’t know where she is… I should have paid more attention to her.”

Though I did see Snickers forcing herself not to fly south at times, which said something about how much Snickers wanted to stick by Jade’s side. It was a rather strong unexplained loyalty involved there, especially given that Snickers mostly wanted to take care of herself and be independent of Jade. I don’t think Jade did anything wrong and Snickers was always vocal when she needed something or was upset.

“I’m sure she’ll come back eventually Jade, now let’s go have some fun in the…” A ball of snow slapped Jade in the face knocking her on her back as soon as I had let go of her. I looked up at the assassin who was acting like she was laughing. Being mute because her voice was too powerful to use in normal situation, she had to physically emote things like that. “Snow. Okay… you just started a cold war that’s about to get heated!”

The once upon a time assassin known as Blade Bright was smiling upside down on a tree branch and was looking quite smug until a snowball hit her in the face knocking her from the tree. She created a neat pony shaped hole in the snow where she landed.

Jade then scooped a snowball, rolled it and threw it at the tree. Blade was just sitting up when she watched the snowball arc over her head and smack the tree making it shake.

Blade just gave Jade a look that asked if she was really that bad at throwing after the first hit, then she was buried under multiple large wads of snow that fell from the tree branches.

“Nice shot.” It really was nice and I had to compliment Jade on the delayed snowfall.

“Scoop, roll and throw. The three tenets of good snowball making.” She giggled slightly as eventually Blade dug her way out of the snow, how Jade could be so calm with that assassin around I’ll never know. She tried to kill Jade, and possibly me by association, once. For that matter why was I so calm, was I just that used to the absurdities that Jade attracted? “Also always use your environment to your advantage.”

I guess nowadays Blade Bright was a master sushi chef and happened to be exceptionally talented at chopping vegetables, she learned that with Kuril’s help of course.

Her cutie mark meant she was good with most forms of bladed weaponry, makes me wonder how ponies like her got their cutie mark. She had a cutie mark that translates into both cooking and combat, I was only a bit jealous that she could cook.

Everything I try to cook explodes violently, except for campfire foods. I could make a very good potato, vegetable and fish roast at the very least.

A snowball smacked me in the face, knocking me over into the snow.

“You’re the one that wanted to have fun in the snow Fizzy, get your head out of the clouds and start cheering me up!” After one long look at Jade, I shook my head and narrowed my eyes at her and my hoof scrapped against the ground building up snow in it.

“You’re right, let’s go!” I scooped, I rolled to the side avoiding an incoming snowball and chucked the snowball for her body. I ducked and another snowball flew over my head and I turned to see Blade tossing a perfectly round snowball up a few times. “Bring it thestral!”

Time slowed down as she threw the snowball, I rolled underneath it towards her and threw my own.

Blade bent backwards out of the way of it, it narrowly almost clipped her chin. Blade reached out with her right hoof to scoop up a snowball. She started to come back up ready to throw it when a snowball hit one of her rear hooves, it caught her entirely off guard and knocked her off balance.

Blade fell and the snow ball she was holding went up and slammed down into her face.

“Don’t leave me out of this guys!” Incoming Blackcap attack, dodge, dodge, dodge… I narrowly avoided Jacky’s three snowballs and was nailed to the side of her head by Jade who ducked around behind a tree.

We shouldn’t lose sight of her, Jade was a crafty cat. Blade was just getting up when two large rolling balls of snow slammed into her and Jade, and I was knocked over by a snowball to the back of the head. Rolling onto my back I saw Maries smiling triumphantly.

“Snow war!” Jade called out from inside the large snowball she got sucked into, it didn’t take long for everything to devolve into a whole mess of fun.

-An hour later, Jade-

“So nice of you Vikings to join us, but next time watch out for rocks when making snowballs.” I glared at Flamberge who had his tail between his legs, I had a bruise on the left side of my face and it stung.

Flamberge the Fiercely Flammable wasn’t exactly the bravest of dragons, but he had a lot of enthusiasm to make up for it.

“I am Fortitude the Fantastically Fragrant!” Fortitude declared that so much, that I lost count after five hundred and ninety seventh time he said that. He still smelled like a dumpster full of rotting eggs and durians. “Yak had fun, like old yak times even!”

“Well it looks like everyone had a nice time outside while I’ve been in here slaving over a pot of soup and making sweet corn bread.” You were also watching your potions more carefully mom, especially after the out of body experience I had a while ago. “I even made dessert that everyone, except my kitten, will enjoy.”

“Thanks mom, we’re all cold and hungry.” That potion really felt weird when it wore off, it was like my body just slurped me back up through a straw and I was never going to forget how disturbing that felt. “Also is it Fruit Cake?”

“Yes, the one seasonal thing that you don’t like and everyone else does that has fruit in it. I’ll make it up to you with a pineapple pizza recipe I’m working on later.” Mom knew me so well, she avoided my petty kitty wrath today.

People always said pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza because it is sweet, so what did that say about cheese or a tomato sauce? Heck, mom already made an apple chunk dessert pizza that Fizzle couldn’t get enough of.

“Try adding the pineapple to your apple chunk cinnamon pizza.” I received a curt nod from mom and with that we sat down to eat a slightly spicy soup, ugh my tongue was so sensitive to spicy things. It made my mother joke that I wasn’t her daughter, because she’s enjoyed spicier things like liquid rainbow. “Also Flamberge, I’m going to do something I hardly ever do. I’m giving you an early warning that I will go petty kitty mode on you when you least expect it.”

“Do your worst, I have nothing to fear from you!” His words made me give him a creepy smile, everyone including my friends shivered at my smile directed towards him. He was obnoxiously loud and I think my favorite of the Vibrant Viking trio was Generic, mostly because he never raised or lowered his voice to a decibel that hurts or strained my ears. “Maybe I have a little bit to fear!”

“Good, you’re not dumb at least. Be prepared at all times for me to do something petty and mean spirited as a form of revenge proportionate or otherwise to the enacted action that led to it, in this case the snowball rock you hit me with.” I turned to our teacher Cheerilee, she’d only be around for one more year. “So Cheerilee, how do you feel about getting a real class soon?”

“Jade, the school here is a real class. Whether most of you are ponies or not doesn’t make a difference to me.” Cheerilee sounded a bit offended that I thought that we weren’t a real class. “I think I might actually miss all of you, except for Jade’s improbable math skills that can possibly destroy the world as we know it.”

“Wait… what?!” What in the world did she just say, my math skills can do what?

“Nothing that you need to worry about Jade.” Funny thing Cheerilee, it certainly sounded like something I should be informed of for a second there.

-Fizzle, after dinner-

“Jade, I want you to eventually kiss me.” I was not going to make demands of her, but I wanted to be kissed. Sure she was moving at my pace, but I wanted her to do a little more.

“With or without tongue?” I don’t think there was a moment when Jade wouldn’t pay attention to me if I absolutely wanted her attention, unless she was paying attention to Maries which I was perfectly fine with.

“Without for now.” Jade crouched, grabbed my cheeks and rubbed her nose against mine, then kissed me on the cheek. “How about that?”

“That works…” I had to be blushing, my entire face has to be red right now. Jade pulled me into a tight hug and then released me.

“Okay now I need to get the mistletoe down, before mom gets any more smart ideas.” Wait… what? Jade got a step ladder and removed the mistletoe from the ceiling. “To assure you I didn’t just kiss you because of the mistletoe, I’ll do this…”

Jade plants a soft kiss on my nose and I felt my face heat up even more.

“Just know that you can always ask me for some love Fizzy, just remember that I might actually say no depending on the situation.” What kind of situation would you deny me in? She slid her tail up under my chin and then flicked me on the nose as she walked away. "Like at a really inopportune moment while we’re climbing out of an active volcano.”

When was that likely to… wait… that could actually happen.

Author's Notes:

For those who missed the previous authors note, no longer daily unless I want to get back in the mood for another three month romp.

Chapter Seventeen, Ending Year Two: More than average.

-Fizzle, last day of the year-

Waking up with a snort, I looked to the body pillow in my hooves. It just wasn’t the same as having a living breathing body next to me in the morning.

Jade might not have complained much about me using her as a sleeping aid, she might have even enjoyed me snuggling her while she slept. I just couldn’t keep forcing her to follow my morning schedule.

I got out of bed and stretched out my back, then started towards the bathroom. I hoped to all that is good in the world that the tub wasn’t clogged with cat fur, I needed a warm bath to wake up in the morning.

Today was the last day of the year. A year full of crashing airships, danger, Jade’s insanity and my life of not trying to get my horn back. Jade was building up a collection of things that were probably related to fixing what I lost, but it wasn’t interfering in her everyday life as weird and absurd as it was.

I know for a fact that Jade’s trying, but she’s really not telling me if she’s close or not. I shouldn’t really get my hopes up, but I’ve seen Jade do some incredible things. She meets a lot of weird people who end up doing incredible things themselves.

To be fair, everyone we know has done something incredible and I seem to be the least incredible being here and I’ve survived a deadly basilisk attack. That’s something I guess.

I had asked Cheerilee and she’s confirmed it for me that only some of what Jade said about basilisk venom was an exaggeration. The explosion thing apparently doesn’t happen until after your body temperature drops to dangerous levels despite the environment, it was as if the spontaneously combusting thing wasn’t bad enough. Freezing to death at room temperature and becoming a literal lightning rod sounds horrifying.

I felt a splash of water and blinked, I was in the tub already? I just started scrubbing myself and tried to think of something else aside from giant snakes of imminent death.

My magic still tires me out, but I had larger magic stores because I bleed off so much magic every time I use it. Using my magic didn’t hurt so much anymore, but it still tired me out. I don’t think I’ve ever told Jade, or anyone else for that matter, just exactly how painful using magic with a broken horn is.

Jade would definitely be more worried about me if she knew… not that she didn’t worry about me enough already. The only one that suspected anything was Sekhet. You couldn’t hide anything from her, or any other god for that matter.

I sniffed the shampoo bottle to make sure it was the right stuff, I guess I was on autopilot this morning.

Before I knew it, I was done with bathing and was already working out my mane like an Earth or Pegasus Pony. I appreciated doing everything by hoof, other unicorns had it too easy. After taking care of my mane and looking at my scar in the mirror, I shrugged and set out to see what trouble Jade could cause today.

“Hey mom, where’s Jade and what kind of trouble is she getting into this time?” When I or anyone else says that Jade can’t do normal, well it was easy to time when Jade was going to do something strange. If nothing happens for an entire week, expect an airship to crash, wild monsters to attack or some crazy quest devised by Jade out of boredom to happen. “I didn’t get the chance to brush her hair this morning and I think she’s actively trying to duck out on that now.”

I wasn’t the most feminine mare in the world, but I did like doing something feminine to someone else.

“She’s outside chasing the Jackalope again, he’s actually starting to respond to being called Jackass now.” Sighing and shaking her head at that information, mom came over to me and gave me gentle hug and then pulled back to look at me with a warm smile. She kissed me on the forehead. “Now what do you want for breakfast my little filly, Jade’s already called blueberry waffles and honey for herself.”

“So nothing too weird on the ‘what will Jade try now’ front?” I ask this because Jade was weird about things she’d eat.

“No, she’s not having a cheese and jelly sandwich today. I swear, my kitten likes sweet things way too much and I really should curb that habit. At least my little chick doesn’t gobble down sweet foods like it’s going out of style.” She gave me an odd look and she smirked slightly. “Speaking of which, are you in the mood for a grilled peanut butter with sliced and fried pickles Fizzle?”

“Okay so maybe some of the things I eat are just as weird.” Peanut butter and fried pickles were a salty and sour sensation for my tongue, don’t give me that judging look mom.

“At least you admit it, Jade doesn’t even toast that sandwich and that would make it so much better.” I will never understand how your culinary abilities work Kuril, though with the taste sensations you make I can’t complain about your magical food skills. “Grilled peanut butter and banana on french toast then?”

“I want to try it with less cinnamon and a little more strawberry infused milk.” My choice made, mom nodded and set off to go make me a not so simple breakfast sandwich.

-Several minutes later-

Jade came down from cleaning the blueberry juice out of her facial fur. Apparently the Jackalope was learning new tricks, especially after Jade had caught him a few times since she started chasing him down for exercise. He was getting smart enough to plan his revenge pranks on Jade and blueberry juice was not the worst that has happened to Jade.

“Jack the antlered rabbit being a problem Jade?” I asked.

“No, he’s just getting smarter… smug antlered little monster that he is. Also when was the last time Jacky’s bad luck effected any of us nega…” In ran Blackcap being chased by an angry looking toucan pecking at her, don’t honestly know where that came from. Toucans aren’t even native to this region… like the ‘highland pukwudgies’ that attacked occasionally even when we don’t say those words. Jacky ran by me and I got knocked out of my seat with a face full of toucan which I clutched to and started wailing on as it started clawing at me with its feet. “Jacky where in the world did you find a toucan!”

“Don’t know Captain, but I stumbled into it literally and it really wants to peck my eyes out for getting my fruit back from it!” Well Blackcap, it’s quite nice to know I wasn’t crazy. I fought the bird down and managed to pin it. “It did not appreciate me shooting it in the butt with a rock.”

“Can someone help me with this crazy bird?” It struggled against my hooves and I continued to smack it a few times hoping that it’ll either calm down or I’d knock it out.

“Quetzalcoatl sent you didn’t he?” The bird immediately froze and looked at Jade, what did she know and why was the bird all of the sudden looking very sheepish. “Ugh, let him go Fizzle, he’s a messenger from Quetzalcoatl. Not a god like Rata, but he works for one at the very least. Do you have a message to deliver?”

I released the now calm bird and it nodded while saluting at Jade.

“Then take it to the post office, it’s outside to the right of the inn and painted blue. You can have the local messenger god who runs our post office write down the message.” With a pause Jade crossed her arms and tapped her left foot while staring the colorful beaked bird down. “It’s that or you can wait to talk to a friend of ours that visits fairly often to play with the animals in the area until she can get her own home. Her name is Fluttershy and she’s sweet like an angel. If the message is not an immediate concern, then you can relax and have some complimentary dried fruit at the post office to wait for either to occur.”

The toucan nodded and took off out the door.

“Thanks Captain, I thought that bird had it in for me.” Jacky, I think you were missing the more important thing here. Like how Jade knew it was a messenger from Quetzalcoatl.

“A toucan is playing messenger for Quetzalcoatl?” I was a bit confused, so I directed that towards Jade. I was expecting something more... reptilian.

“Yeah, Rata is a messenger god for his pantheon, but other pantheons outsource to regular animal at times. It’s why Toucans are rumored to have colorful rainbow beaks.” Jade shrugged and couldn’t obviously state that as a known fact, but she was knowledgeable enough to know why a Toucan was here of all places. “Guess Quetzalcoatl finally finished getting things mostly back in order.”

“Yeah, not questioning that any further.” Upon saying this I found a sandwich placed before me by mom and she started putting food in front of Jade and Jacky. “Got any crazy plans for today Jade?”

“No, not really.” That meant that we were likely to get a visitor if Jade had nothing, it’ll either be our combined luck at work or it’ll be Jade’s luck specifically. I don’t know how to read Jacky’s luck, but I’m sure something bad would come of it.

I was beginning to see a pattern with Jade, if she doesn’t do something insane or crazy at least once every two weeks, then we all end up getting dragged into an adventure with Jade.

“You know, I’ve always wondered…” Oh here we go, what is Jade going to do? I was thinking ancient temple to some god of some kind that most people don’t know about. I just took a bite of my sandwich and waited. “Why does pony education end at the age of sixteen for ponies?”

Wait… that didn’t sound insane or crazy. It actually sounded like a legitimate question from Jade. What was wrong with the world? Also when was Snickers coming back, I think Jade missed her more than she misses the occasional potato stew.

“It’s because ponies usually have their cutie marks by then and know exactly what kind of job they’d be good at. It doesn’t stop them from having a talent that’s just a hobby and getting a different job however.” Speaking up from a nearby table was Cheerilee who was looking quite cheerful this morning. “Of course finding a job suited to you, Jacky, Fizzle or even Arizona would be a bit harder. Maries is already a fully accredited lawyer and I’m quite proud of her… even if she still hasn’t finished her education yet. You know, this does bring me to the fact that I should maybe learn the educational values of other species. How long do Abyssinians learn for Kuril?”

“Eight to nine years of education, mostly because our people are lazy and not very aggressive unless pushed into it. Jade was top of her class at most things except history and of course her worst subject.” That being math mom, everyone knew Jade couldn’t do complicated math without the world collapsing. It’s scientifically proven from what Cheerilee tells us about her mild dyscalculia problem.

“Holy carp, the impossible is happening!” Sekhet wouldn’t say something like that if it wasn’t completely true, I stuffed the remainder of my sandwich into my mouth and rushed outside to see what was happening.

When I got outside, I saw a small airship perfectly balance on Sekhet’s head. She wasn’t being crushed by it at least.

“Uh… you’re not mad at me for landing an airship on your head again are you?” Hey it was that mare that went to Mare-Akech. What was her name again? Jade knew some things about her. I believe it was… Daring Do?

“You did it without hurting me. That... is a miracle. As much as it is the fact that you managed to land it in one piece, on my head and having it balanced like it currently is mortal.” Sekhet was right, Daring Do either had luck nearly as sporadic as Blackcap’s or haphazardly landing airships was a common thing for her. “Now can you please get it off of me without crushing me with it?”

“That’s asking a lot of her Sekhet, her ship isn’t named The Ardent Survivor and likely doesn’t have nearly as protective a name as that ship does.” Turning to Jade with a flat gaze, Sekhet sighed and reached up with her paws to lift the ship off her head and she placed it on the ground gently. “Huh, for once the ship didn’t…”

After the start of a long drawn out pause, I had to wonder what Jade was waiting for. The still inflated balloon was likely why Sekhet hadn't felt the weight of a small airship sitting on her skull.

“What no other airship? I feel gypped.” Oh come on Jade, that was a rather impressive display of an airship not hitting our favorite local goddess like a ten ton weight… where did that thought come from? How would I even know what a ten ton weight looked like? “So what brings you to Airship Mauled and landing on our favorite goddess Daring Do?”

“I heard things went well for you in Klugetown, also I’m here on business. You said you destroy magical artifacts right? Well I have a few onboard that need to be dealt with before the next full moon and I remembered you saying that you could do that.” Daring hopped down and walked up to Jade. “So what’s that going to cost?”

“Not much with our current going rate, but the magic of whatever I destroy has to go somewhere.” Jade looked over Daring Do for a bit, she looked perfectly fine from where I was sitting. “How did Mare-Akech turn out and what’s your next adventure?”

“It went well enough, but I got into a few scrapes here or there and picked up a metric ton of some really dark stuff that needs destroying. I got away from my most recent adventure with only two arrows to my helmet this time.” Rubbing her chest with a hoof she started looking proud of herself for that one fact. “As for my next adventure? I’m heading to a temple high on a tall mountain that is said to house the cultist monks of a dark goddess called Nightmare Moon, apparently one of my enemies has been scouting it out for something big for a while now. I want to find out why and I stopped here because I have some time to spare.”

Here comes Jade, in three, two…

“Can we go on that adventure mom, please!” Jade turned her big cute cat eyes on our mother in a heartbeat. “It’s been kind of lazy around here, even with that super thief elephant that came through here last week.”

Cue mom giving in to the absurd desire.

“We could use a dangerous family vacation.” Yep, called it, we’re going straight into danger again and mom was coming to chaperone. “After we destroy those artifacts, we'll be joining you tomorrow Miss Do.”

Author's Notes:

Have not been feeling too good lately, thirteen hours or more hours of sleep a day says as much.

Successfully landed on Sekhet without crushing her meter: *Clank* 1.

Chapter Eighteen, Cult-tural: Full Glass.

-Jade-

To start off we were on Daring Do’s small airship, party of six. Jacky, Fizzle, Mom, Sugar, Blade and lastly me.

We were on our way to the top of Seared Seer Mountain. From what Daring tells us, there’s wendigoes, yetis, black dragons and cultists with unknown combat ability.

You know, the usual general adventure stuff you’d find in an inhospitable cold place like that.

Somehow this is all related to the worship of Nightmare the entity that overshadowed Luna, given the presence and mention of wendigoes there’s a lot of anger, hatred and fighting going on somewhere in the vicinity or else the wendigoes would have starved without their main source of food.

“So how did you talk me into bringing all of you again? Let’s start with you specifically Jade.” At Daring’s questioning look I held a hand up to my chest and mocked utter bewilderment at the idea that I had anything to do with us being on this ship. “I need the reminder as to why I’m involving you guys in this. I just dropped by to see how you guys were doing after we dropped you off at that dusty thief riddled town. The answer is pretty well, except for the odd number of crashed airship incidents around your place apparently.”

Knowing we were going to be near Wendigo, I took the precaution to have us dropped off in Canterlot for an hour so I could pick up some spare phoenix feathers yesterday when we decided to have Daring Do stay the night. Salamander scales were a must, but the heat vision from touching them was annoying to deal with. Oh sure it was useful, but still very annoying.

“We don’t make the airships crash in Airship Mauled, they do that on their own and it is an Airship Mauled pastime to watch our favorite local goddess get hit by them. As for me, well I for one am an expert on the dark goddess the cultist slash monks are likely worshipping. Has Celestia told you anything about Nightmare Moon?” At my question Daring, who was watching Jacky steer the ship, slowly rolled her eyes in my direction. “In any case I’m quite knowledgeable on monsters and how to defeat them, whether they be mythological or real. I don’t think this is going to be a boring nightmare night cult.”

“No she hasn’t, but then again how much could there be to know? Dark cultist monastery on top of a mountain, it’s not that hard to figure out really.” Daring didn’t seem to think of me as being worth much on this trip. “Though who knows, a little knowledge in the right place could get us somewhere. What about your mother?”

“She’s a witch, can cook really well and has one of the world’s most dangerous creatures for a familiar.” What I said, for some reason, made Daring laugh.

“The pink rabbit with the horn, you actually think that thing is dangerous?” She was giggling, Daring Do was actually giggling about the monstrous rabbit. “Yeah, right. I could take that rabbit any day.”

“You say that now… just know that horned rabbit is one of the most dangerous monsters I know about.” I shuddered at the thought of meeting an uncontrolled ‘All Mirage’. “We’re all just lucky my mom can keep her under control and that she didn’t kill anyone in town before becoming my mother’s familiar.”

“Okay, say I buy that your mother has something more than cooking.” She pointed a hoof to Jacky who was happy to be piloting the airship. “What about the bird?”

“Expert in airship engineering, quasi-pirate, luck challenged and becoming exceptionally good at firing things that aren’t arrows with extreme accuracy from a bow.” Mostly because I made said bow and had no idea what I had created, it still belonged to Jacky and it was hers to use as she saw fit. “No matter what happens to this airship, if you have enough materials, then she can fix it.”

“Now we’re getting to someone useful, but what do you mean by…” Daring's lucky pith helmet fell off the shelf and bonked her on the head. “Ow… luck challenged?”

“That’s what you pick up on, I thought you’d be more interested in the fact that she’s a quasi-pirate. Anyway she’s a living jinx, but it’s not really too bad. It’s been mostly contained to causing her problems, sometimes things happen to people near her.” I looked at Jacky who looked my way. “What I know for certain is that despite her bad luck, she’s a loyal friend through and through.”

“I can at least use a spear efficiently, I’m really good with cannons and swords preferably. I’m still learning how to use my bow to the best of its abilities.” Speaking of which, Jacky had the spear and bow on her and her tail mounted quiver was loaded with things that weren’t arrows. “Right or wrong, I stand by my Captain and try to help where I can. I at least consider myself lucky where it counts, considering I’m not dead yet.”

“The bird is equal to or greater than the word Blackcap.” I received an odd look from Jacky, after a moment she just shrugged and continued piloting. I turned back to Daring. “Is that all Daring Do?”

“No, what about the mare with the stump? Doesn’t seem like a useful trait for a unicorn to have.” Daring Do received a glare from both me and Fizzle. “Hey, calling it like I see it, you’re the one that convinced me to let you all onboard.”

“She’s intelligent, an extra set of eyes, can think outside the box, can imbue objects to incredible if temporary effects and she can create powerful bursts of magic that can be used to block other sources of magic or cause powerful explosions.” There was a crater just outside of Ponyville that was now a duck pond, I tended to visit with bread crumbs when I and Fluttershy wanted to hang out with Pinkie Pie.

Fluttershy was still learning duck, it was kind of funny to watch her try to speak in quacking sounds.

“I’m also athletic and happen to be learning hoof to hoof breakdance fighting techniques from a goddess of war.” Dryly stated Fizzle who sent Daring Do a chilling stare, she gave me a far warmer look. “The fact that Sekhet even knows how to breakdance fight is pretty weird, but I guess the goddess of war needs to know how to fight a war in any arena.”

“Yeesh, did the temperature just drop forty degrees or are we already there.” We weren’t there Daring Do, but looking off into the distance we could see a mount that was poking through the clouds. The air was going to be quite thin up here and I didn’t know how well I’d do in that situation, thin air doesn’t bother a pegasus like Daring. She might not know why it’ll be a problem for us. “Okay what about miss quiet and unassuming bat pony?”

“Her name is Blade Bright, she’s mute and not for the reasons you’d think. Her voice is way too powerful, so it always hurts her to try and use it.” For once I could see something sympathetic on Daring Do’s face. “Shattering glass isn’t the worst she can do with it. Oh and she’s an assassin that tried to kill me once.”

“You’re not afraid to keep having her around knowing that?” In answer to that Daring Do, I had one thing to say.

“Not really, she hasn’t exactly tried to kill me much recently.” I looked to Blade as she sat off to the side alone with her slightly grown out white hair, her golden eyes sent a glance our way. She was only mildly annoyed that mom wouldn’t let her keep her head shaved and her tail relatively short. “She really knows how to make good sushi rolls, my mom’s been teaching her the finer art of raw fish preparation.”

“Really? It’s been a while since I’ve had fish, seaweed, vegetables and rice all at the same time.” Daring sent Blade a look of interest. “Still, are you sure she’s an assassin?”

With the barest of movements, Blade pulled and threw a knife past Daring cutting her cheek and getting the blade stuck on the wall of the small cabin we were in.

“What do you think? She can do that with her rear hooves while tied up.” At my words I watched as Blade idly preened her left leathery wing for a bit while hiding a small smile. “I should know, we’ve had her captive at Airship Mauled for quite a while. At least long enough for her to pull it off without anyone noticing because she missed the three times she tried to get me with that trick.”

“Okay, is she useful just because she’s an assassin or is it something else?” Asked a now wary and alert Daring Do.

“Oh goodness no, her track record is apparently highly abysmal. That’d explain my continued survival by a wide margin.” Sorry, but I was not going to spare you’re feelings on this Blade. She wilted visibly at my words. “The most she’s done is highly inconvenienced people by halfway killing them or playing enforcer to someone who owes someone else money. Where she can really come in handy here is actually not based in what she can do, it is more so about what she is.”

“How is her being a bat pony really important?” You were about to see Daring, let it be said that I came on this mission with an idea for entry ahead of schedule.

“Given my general knowledge on things we’re likely to run into…” I started off only to be interrupted.

“Of which Jade is hardly ever wrong about in an absurdly well informed manner.” Speaking up was Fizzle, who was just adding those words for emphasis.

“We’re going to be seeing more of Blade’s kin quite soon. Nightmare, Nightmare Moon or any variation of the dark goddess happen to have a partial affinity with bat ponies as you call them.” I turned to Blade. “You don’t mind us calling you bat pony do you? Thestral’s are not exactly well known in the light of day and I’m kind of wondering if this seems insensitive to you.”

Blade mulled it over and just shook her head while rolling her left hoof at me to go on. So I did.

“Anyway, a majority of thestrals are actually friendly and apparently work alongside Celestia. They make up a major part of the night guard in Canterlot, rarely are they ever seen or heard because ponies most sleep at night. The royal guards that get the night shift do work with them fairly often.” I had asked Celestia about this during one of her visits and she acknowledged that there were moon priests. They were kind of like my polar opposite as a sun priest, stalwart guardians of the night. For some reason, I’m not protected by one. One would think Celestia would assign one to me with the threat of assassination hanging over my head, well have I got a bridge for you in Manehatten! “In this case, these Thestrals formed a cult based on the things that happened almost a thousand years ago. Two years and some change is when we can really say it was a thousand years ago. They revere Nightmare Moon, the corrupted goddess of the night. The very mare in the moon that you can see in the night sky every night the moon is visible, as Celestia sealed her away after a rather heated battle a long time ago.”

“But why do they revere her?” That was the question that needed answering Daring.

“She used to be a very important goddess to pony kind. When she was corrupted, so too were some of her closest subjects as well and now they likely seek to bring the world to ruin through the nightmares that they themselves can’t wake up from. It’s either that, or they secluded themselves to wallow in anger and hatred for Celestia partially failing them.” It would be kind of poetic if I was right about Luna’s subjects, the Thestrals, being corrupted to stay away from her and leading her down the road of madness where she was corrupted by Nightmare. “It has probably gotten up to the point that they’ve lived in a mountain so long that the corruption has built up to whatever it has done to them over the last nine hundred and ninety or so years. It’s kind of tragic come to think of it, since they failed the goddess they were meant to protect in the first place and that influence is still controlling them. It’s why the current EUP exists today, to make sure something like that doesn’t happen to Celestia or other ponies as well.”

“We’re nearing the mountain.” Jacky announced us while narrowing her eyes at something on the mountain top we were flying towards, she turned to us with worry. “Uh guys… should monks or cultists know how to use cannons?”

“No… why do you… oh holy fudge!” I saw some kind of cannon with a building blackness in its barrel in the distance, it was broad daylight and the weather was currently clear for the cold snow covered mountain top.

“What, you want me to bake some holy fudge when we get home?” Mom said questioningly as she came up next to me. “I think we can anoint the fudge with holy water, but I’ll need your help with that since you’re the priest here.”

“Maybe later mom, I meant that holy fudge.” I gently grabbed moms head and titled it ever so slightly so that she could see the cannon brimming with even more darkness that was about to fire at us.

“Oh… that kind of holy fudge.” She stated as she got the knuckle dented shield on her right arm. “Okay, but are we still on for making holy brownies?”

“Everyone at Airship Mauled would kill for your brownies.” It’s true, we all would stab someone over them. At least I would if I was promised a share and they got stolen. “Not immediately important mom, shield us now!”

“Alright, but we’re not done talking about this quite yet.” Mom ran out and towards the front of the airship as the large shadowy mass arced its way for us. I followed behind with Daring and Fizzle coming after us. “Let’s hope that it’s not physical or doesn’t have weight or mass to it, because it’ll break my arm otherwise. Kitten, get the bag out of my pack.”

Mom held the shield forward and large circular barrier projected from it, we only had a few seconds before the shadowy mass hit it. I reached into her pack and pulled out a bag. Opening it to confirm what was inside, I turned to Daring.

“Daring, when that shot hits my mother’s barrier, fly up and spread this stuff over the airship!” Taking the bag from me, Daring flew up and waited.

The darkness impacted the barrier, it only put a little pressure on mom’s braced arm. Spreading out, it blocked us from the sight of those who fired at us from below.

When the darkness disappeared, we were gone.

-???-

“It looked like it hit, but something doesn’t seem right.” The thestral commented loudly to his companions. “Where did it go?”

Author's Notes:

(Updated Salamander Scales in the 'magical alchemy' section.)

Chapter Eighteen, Cult-tural: Three-fourths Glass.

-Kuril-

“So they can’t see us?” Daring do Said after a moment, when none of the other cannons looked like they were gearing up to fire.

“Right now they’re currently seeing sky, let’s avoid giving them something to shoot at by being too loud.” My little kitten wasn’t the only one that knew a lot, I had quite a bit of knowledge myself and I covered Daring’s mouth in a slow and calm manner. “Thestrals, or bat ponies as you call them, all have an incredibly keen sense of hearing. They might not be able to see us, but that doesn’t mean they can’t detect us through the use of echolocation. So unless you want all those cannons aiming at us, and mind you I wouldn’t be able to stop that much cannon fire from crashing your airship, I suggest you keep your voice down.”

“Yeah, they can practically detect invisible things by screeching at them. We’re just not visible visually.” My filly was looking over the side of the ship and watching the various cannons search the sky for a target. “I think we’re trying to sneak into that monastery in the distance.”

“That’s a monastery? It’s huge and looks like a palace, this is definitely not a place where normal monks hang out.” Yeah that huge building in the distance was scary Daring, but I’m sure we could infiltrate it and get out well enough. Unless my Kitten causes chaos.

The monastery was huge and built on a rather large flat portion of the mountain top and it was pretty big, but I wasn’t going to intimidate easily.

There were three snow covered towers that had more of those cannons sitting on it, I could see what might be a courtyard full of thestrals and it had a castle or palace motif going for it in what looks like the main barracks.

If… actually it’d be more of a ‘when’ with Jade for things going wrong. I better be prepared for a huge mess.

“The question here is, where do we land and how will we get out of here? What’s our exit strategy here?” Aw, look at my kitten, she has a brain and knows the inevitable will happen. “I seriously doubt that the illusion dust will work for long a second time or that we’re not going to cause a disturbance. When we do cause a disturbance, they are going to actively look for us with methods that illusion dust can’t hide.”

“At least you admit that you’re going to cause a disturbance Jade, Blade can walk around free without worry. Aside from being mute, she fits in here. We on the other hoof are two cats, a damaged unicorn, a pegasus with an archeologist bent and Sugar is bright pink.” Fizzle pointed her hoof at our pilot. “I don’t even need to point out Jacky’s obvious flaw of being highly visible and exceptionally accident prone. We all stick out like sore hooves around here.”

“You’re not broken to me Fizzle.” I moved over to Fizzle and pulled her into a hug, then Jade quickly joined and even Sugar nuzzled up to her left hoof in a friendly manner that made my kitten cringe. I still don’t understand what’s so scary about a horned, pink furred rabbit.

Blade carefully approached our snuggled group and I tugged her into it and forced her to join in.

“Yeah, yeah, touchy feely times for you guys. Can we get back to finding a landing zone, our continued safety and the absolutely necessary exit strategy?” Don’t interrupt our moment Daring, one of my daughters needed her mother right now.

Blade hasn’t had an easy time adjusting to the fact that my kitten is freakishly lucky to dodge her half-baked assassination attempts she still pulls every now and then when she thinks I’m not watching. I can trust, but I at least confirm that my trust is warranted. Trust, but always verify that said trust is warranted.

I think Blade got it out of her system at least, she wasn’t trying to stab Jade in the back while we were all cuddled together. I guess I could trust her a little more now, she was a good student when it came to chopped vegetable stir fry’s and sushi making.

Wielding bladed weaponry might be Blade’s special talent, but I think she had the makings an excellent specialist chef.

We made our way back into the cabin, it was getting very cold out here. Jacky turned to me with a hopeful look, I guess she wanted a hug because she felt left out. I gave her a strong cuddle too, but I made sure not to prevent her from flying the ship.

I had only love to give to my growing children. My chick, filly and kitten were all, mostly, well-adjusted individuals. My true daughter tended to steal things. Fizzle still had doubts about her self-worth. The less said about Jacky’s incidents the happier she is.

“Thanks… mom. So, where are we landing this small airship? There’s too much open space out here and I doubt the illusion dust will last for that much longer.” All illusion dust had a limit for how long it would work for and Jacky was well aware of that having flown us out of Canterlot.

“Well wherever we land, the shadows are going to be dangerous here. We’re dealing with a group that is good at moving in shadows, can hear at great distances and are likely dangerous as all get out. So basically better than Blade in every conceivable way, with darkness, nightmare or shadow magic thrown in.” Despite the small glare Jade received from Blade, a moment later Blade seemed to mull it over and nod about it. She was accepting that there were things here that might be more dangerous than a failed assassin. “Just small a reminder that they fired upon an unarmed airship. We’re likely dealing with a bunch of volatile nut jobs here, the kind that shot first and didn’t bother with questions at all. ”

“Guys, I have an idea of where we can land.” Looking to where Fizzle was currently pointing her eyes and her hoof, I blinked once or twice while looking at the spot. That could work. “We might not be able to have a good take off, but it’ll keep the snow off the ship and we’ll be able to slide it down the slope.”

“What you’re talking about Fizzle, is a quick start. Do you have any idea how hard it is to quick start an airship?” Jacky gave the spot a long glance and then she started turning the ship for that spot. “Just be aware that that is something that the Captain would come up with.”

“Is that a good idea or a terrible thing?” Look my little tom cat, if I’m thinking along the same lines as Fizzlepop and Jacky, then it’s likely a bad thing. “Looks fine by me, though how are we going to get it moving when we have to leave?”

Our exit was going to involve sliding the airship down the snowy slope and we’d try to fill up the balloon to the airship while doing that we had to get the balloon filled up somewhat before we flew off the edge of the mountain.

We’ll be a moving target at the very least, but how were we going to get this small airship sliding? It was quite heavy and weighed a lot that we couldn’t just push it to get it started. That would mean leaving someone behind or having the ship leave us behind after we’ve pushed it into sliding down the slope.

The spot was in a nook big enough for the ship to fit in at least. Cliffs on both sides to prevent its discovery easily and it was still in the light enough to be visible when we came back for it. I wasn’t about to ask that we leave someone at the ship all alone.

We came in for a landing, the ship turned around and then slowly settled on the slope between two large rock walls. Exploring this place with hostile people was bound to be bothersome.

“Ten bits says we can find ninjas here.” At Jade’s words, Fizzle rolls her eyes and pushed my kitten slightly.

“Pirates are better…” Mumbled Jacky.

“Don’t start that debate with me Jacky, I can go on all day about how cool ninjas are!” This is the first time I’ve witnessed Jade be openly at odds with Jacky, or was it the other way around?

Either way, they were glaring at each other and posturing.

“What about me telling you how awesome pirates are? I can do that all day too you know!” Now Jacky was releasing a warning trilling noise and Jade was hissing at her.

“Girls, can we please focus here? Daring you might want to go on ahead.” Seeing the questioning look I was getting from Daring, I decided to elaborate. “Don’t wait for us to go explore the place, we’ll do our own thing. If you happen to take off without us in the airship and leave us here, we won’t hold it against you. We can make our own way home, now I have to listen to these two bicker for a while.”

“Real ninjas hide in plain sight, what you’re talking about is the fake stereotypical garbage that media keeps spreading about ninjas that was actually made by real ninjas to hide the truth!” Jade shouted, I missed what was previously said. “At most a ninja will wear colors fitting to the environment and straight black is never a good idea.”

“Yeah, go on Daring, this could take while.” Fizzle was paying more attention to the conversation than I was at least. “Just don’t get caught or something while sneaking in, any noise would be a bad thing. Even flapping your wings could be loud enough for them.”

“Right, might or might not see you inside.” Daring flapped her wings and took off.

“Pirates have a rich history, we’re not drunkards or idiots. We’re cunning rogues and don’t you want to be a rogue too?” Jacky asked of Jade.

“Yes, I want to be a rogue, but not a pirate one specifically.” Oh great, Jade just started getting them into subclass archetypes. Better take a seat, my two girls had a fight brewing. “I’m more towards the cloak wearing kind. Jumping across roof tops with bags loaded with stolen yarn and possibly after drinking a potion to make myself bouncy like rubber.”

Like rubber… now there’s an idea, but I think Jade means something unlike what a rubber chicken does when sustained. Using a rubber chicken in Magical Alchemy makes you flexible and protects against blunt force trauma, but it doesn’t make you exceptionally bouncy and it makes it harder to move around as everything gets all wobbly.

It still weirds me out after I tried it out once, I don’t think I’ll ever use or appreciate rubber chickens like my kitten does.

“What do you have against pirates Captain?” Crossing her arms Jacky seemed quite defensive and upset with Jade, she was still calling her Captain though. Got to give my little chick a lot of credit, she was still absurdly loyal to her Captain despite the conversation going on.

“Nothing, but what do you think about pirate ninjas?” That comment had everyone flummoxed, Jade was probably planning our next O and O session to include pirate ninja golems. It wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if something like that actually exists in this crazy world.

“That would be an unholy abomination of conflicting classifications and you know it!” the most Jacky did was poke a talon against Jade’s chest aggressively.

“Look, is this really the conversation we should be having right now? I mean Jade wanted us to come all this way to explore and or fight a cult, possibly with ancient evils, monsters and dragons.” After a moment Fizzle chuckled a bit. “You know, now that I say it out loud, our reasons for being are completely ridiculous compared to Daring Do following the trail of one of her enemies.”

“Yes, it is certainly important to discuss the finer points of Pirates and Ninjas, because both are really interesting in their own ways.” Jade’s ears twitched and then she started to look around. I wondered what she was looking for. “Where’s Blade?”

We stood there for a silent moment before I spoke up.

“I think she followed after Daring, maybe because she thought that Daring shouldn’t go off on her own all alone in a dangerous place like this.” I picked up Sugar and started to rub her head affectionately. My guess was as good as anyone else’s, but I wouldn’t bet on it entirely.

I think Blade was curious to see what so many thestrals were actually doing up here, you know, aside from building magical cannons that fire pure darkness.

“Well there goes my entrance strategy, it’s time for plan B then!” Oh goddess, that look in my kitten’s eyes spelled doom and destruction.

Her plan B was bound to be ridiculous, dumb and we’d all be talked into doing it, but it wasn’t like we had any other things we could be doing at this time. I wasn’t about to put my foot down and stop her though, I was a curious cat and a little curiosity never killed an Abyssinian before.

- Thirty minutes later-

I stand corrected, this plan could kill us all and I was still going along with it. I wanted to see if my kitten was clinically insane enough to make it work… emphasis on insane.

-???-

“Report.” I stated sternly.

“We haven’t found any signs of the airship after the first shot sir, it’s like it vanished into thin air.” Oh I didn’t believe that for a second my dimwitted subordinate, something is going to occur and it was going to be trouble. It was bad enough that Caballeron fellow was still trying to bargain his way into our good graces for something.

“Nothing can disappear just like that. It might be a ploy by Caballeron or a different third party with a strong unicorn support, they might even be in the compound already. We cannot let anyone discover our real base and Nightmare help us if a sun priest shows up.” We did not need a sun priest running around up here, not when we were still trying to figure out how the stars will aid in Nightmares release from her entrapment. The others believed sun priests to be myths and that they had all died out or had been purged from the world. I was a realist, sun priests were still out there somewhere biding their time before they rose up and destroyed all that we have built. “Keep searching, spread the word for everyone to be on the lookout for anything…. unusual. All shall be thrown to darkness and nightmares.”

“All shall be thrown to darkness and nightmares.” The thestral before me bowed and then was off to spread the word.

Minutes later I’d hear about something unusual happening, it involves my worst nightmare showing up. In any other circumstance I would be happy to see a living nightmare.

-Jade-

“Hello everyone! I’m going to let all of you, yes you, capture me.” All the thestrals I approached started screeching and scattered, probably because I was holding Sugar in my arms.

Chapter Eighteen, Cult-tural: Half Glass.

-Jade-

The reaction was pretty much unanimous among the thestrals, they had completely flipped out upon seeing Sugar in my arms. I told mom that Sugar was a horrific creature, cute as she may look, that was really quite dangerous.

I sat down on the cold stone in courtyard and wrapped my cloak tightly around myself as I settled in to watch everything as it happened. Placing Sugar in my lap, I exhaled and looked on as the cold air met my hot breath.

“So… did mom tell you not to eat me?” Asking this caused the chittering horned rabbit to turn her attention on me she rubbed her front paws against the fur on her forehead, but didn’t answer me in any noticeable manner. She just turned her head to continue watching all the crazy ponies flying around while randomly slamming into walls here or there, not one of them was bothering to sound some kind of alarm.

The thestrals were still flying every which way and things were beginning to devolve in the saddest manner I’ve ever seen. You’d think a bunch of nightmare worshipping cultist would either be fearless or would know better than to show fear to something as dangerous as Sugar is. Apparently I just walked up to the new guys with a threat beyond their abilities to imagine, a threat I was now idly petting.

Some of the thestrals actually immediately went for some nearby unmanned dark magic cannons. Surprisingly, I wasn’t afraid of the cannons firing, I was surprised however at their continued inability to form some kind of coherent thought process.

This is where my plan had a slight hitch in it and that was already coming into play, chances were they wouldn’t shoot at me with the cannons if it would annoy exhibit A of untold death and destruction currently sitting in my lap.

Several cannons started firing in the direction of the monastery, possibly in an attempt to hit us.

I looked over my shoulder and Sugar, who became interested in what I was looking at, climbed up onto my shoulder to get a view of the first few shots aimed vaguely in our direction.

One would think I’d run in this situation… you’d be wrong. Instead my head followed the arc of the first shot as it went high in the air, far overhead and into one of the towers. I noted Sugar was also staring at the huge hole in the tower that started collapsing, I certainly hoped Daring Do wasn’t in there. She’s escaped worse situation right?

Another shot hit the wall of the palace like main building and instead of putting a hole in the wall made entirely out of stone, it just quickly caught fire. Much to my disbelief the fire started to spread rapidly, then again it was dark magic empowered fire and setting stone on fire as if it were wood wasn’t the worst it could be doing.

A third shot caused a portion of wall surrounding the courtyard to crumble and fall inwards into the multiple still panicking and screeching thestrals. Some of the rubble fell on top of a thestral knocking them to the ground and then trapping their wing.

Were they actually blind firing those cannons and not aiming them? I swear this was the worst cultist monastery I’ve ever been too… it’s also the only one I’ve ever been to. I knew it was dedicated to Nightmare, but was this really the best nightmare could cobble together for a cult following?

“Excuse me for one moment, Sugar. Don’t go anywhere and don’t eat anyone.” I just received a curious look from Sugar who I placed upon the ground, but she stayed where she was and watched the chaos going on around her in something approaching fascination.

I walked towards the trapped thestral and picked up a piece of wood on my way, the thestral looked up at me and then cowered with fear. It almost appeared as if they were afraid I was going to attack them, upon closer inspection it was a colt that was almost a stallion.

“Excuse me, but could you move a little bit to the right?” The thestral blinked and did as I asked. I jammed the wood under the large bit of rubble at an angle so I could get some leverage on it. I pushed the cold and frozen bit of wood upward and the bit of rubble shifted off of the thestrals wing. “There you go, get that winged looked at will you?”

I turned around and calmly walked back to Sugar, picked her up and sat back down cross legged while once again tightening my warm cloak around me.

“Why?” Blinking, I turned to the almost stallion who came up to me.

“You needed help. I’m not actually here to kill or hurt anyone.” Though having Sugar here with me could not be ignored.

“Could have fooled me bringing that thing here.” He pointed at the horned rabbit that had rolled onto her back in my lap. “How did even you tame one of those?”

“I didn’t.” After I said that, the look on his face was priceless and I wish I had a camera.

“You have one of the most dangerous lagomorphs in existence on your lap…” He started slowly, before shouting. “And it’s not tame!”

“Sugar here is pretty tame to me.” Though I had seen Sugar coming back from Barely Bearable Woods several times, there were probably less drop bears there now. Unless they’ve wised up to what Sugar happens to be.

That’s probably what the world doesn’t need, somewhat smart drop bears. I really missed Snickers, but petting a dangerous almost demonic monstrosity on the belly was actually kind of nice. She was fluffy like me at the very least.

Sugar just chittered audibly and looked to be in a good mood with me rubbing her belly.

“Why did you come here anyway?” Well the easiest way to answer that unnamed thestral, was to tell the whole truth and nothing but that in as audacious a manner as I can manage.

“Well… actually let me ask you something first. Have you ever heard of sun priests?” My question was met with a curious gaze and a few drifting glances at Sugar.

“Yes, supposedly they were mostly wiped out.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “If any existed, then they would be enemies of our order.”

“Yes, I suppose I would be and that’s perfect. Thanks for the information.” Ignoring the now incredulous look being sent my way, I decided to explain what exactly I was doing here. “I’m a rogue sun priest, a literal free agent and traveling one at that. One who is here to make sure someone here captures me. Once that occurs and I am locked up, I will then proceed to sow chaos, cause hysterical situations… kind of like this one… and many other things to happen. Also I will destroy any secret monster you’re bound to release upon me as I make my escape from this place with whatever I can grab that isn’t nailed down and is easy enough for me to carry.”

“You actually want to be captured by the Order of Dark Dreams?” Yay, new information! I now had a name for the cult. Also he didn’t seem to believe some of the things I said. “Also, telling me you’re a sun priest doesn’t make it real. Can you do anything a sun priest is known for?”

“Given that I don’t know what sun priests are known for, I can’t really prove I am one unless you know someone around here who can actually detect that sort of stuff. All I know is that I performed the sun salutation in the morning enough to count and multiple gods have confirmed that I am one.” A crater was blown into the ground a small distance away, I turned back to the thestral. “So… is everyone going to continue running around like chickens being chased by a fox? I’m a cat I’ll have you know. Though I do find the idea that I could be seen as beautiful a creature as a fox is as quite the compliment. Don’t get any ideas though, I’m strictly attracted to mares or those of feminine persuasion. Kind of wish I were born with a fox tail… it would be so fluffy and alluring to a certain mare that loves cuddles.”

“Say I believe you about that, why the horned rabbit of doom?” He pointed his hoof to the relaxing Sugar.

“Try to physically harm me in any given way and she lets loose several cans of butt kick in response. As a small reminder, I’m not entirely in control of her actions.” I saw a thestral on fire fly close by, inhaling I spat a spray of water that put the thestral out. Said female thestral looked a bit burnt as she came down to the ground to rest and look in my direction with something approaching guarded thankfulness. “She’s only so calm because she really doesn’t see any of you as a threat to her, even with the cannons firing at us and doing more damage to the surroundings than anything else really. Also I thought a bunch of cultist that follow Nightmare would be braver than this, or at the very least a little scary. This is quite a comical sight I’ll never forget.”

“To be fair you brought an al-mi’raj here.” The thestral had a good point, at least said horned rabbit wasn’t pointed at me. “Why is it pink though? Aren’t Al-mi’raj usually yellow furred?”

“Only the males and they are the ones you are most likely to see when defending their territory. Hardly do you ever see a pink one wandering around alone.” Which made me wonder what kind of circumstances led to Sugar finding a home with us.

“About as much explanation as any.” He finally sat down next to me. “What’s to stop all of us from just killing her?”

“Unlike other al-mi’raj, this one is actually intelligent and not just a pure beast of death and mayhem.” At my words, he shivered violently. Yeah, there’s a scary thought. All the legends of killer horned rabbits and you come across the one that can think before acting, in this case that meant Sugar could be more predisposed towards cruelty if driven in that direction. “You wouldn’t be dealing with an aimless and angry beast. If that wasn’t obvious by this point.”

“Right, then we all don’t upset the horned rabbit and we don’t get violently eviscerated.” The thestral had earned the attention of Sugar in my lap, she sat up and smiled at him broadly showing her sharp fangs. Aw, she’s intimidating him with a sweet, if highly creepy, smile.

The thestral finally decided to slowly stand up and back away while staring at the horned rabbit, he was completely spooked now. Sugar got bored with menacing him with a cheerful look and went back to relaxing.

“What in the world is going on out here?!” The old guy, a gruff old looking thestral, yelled. He looked around at all the still panicking thestrals, to me and the destroyed tower. He came back to me and approached towards me looking like he was ready about to go into a rant about something when he noticed what was laying idle in my lap. Despite the distance between us, he still took a few steps back in fear. “Who in Tartarus are you supposed to be?!”

Looks like one of the senior members to the Order of Dark Dreams… wait a second… doesn’t Order of Dark Dreams come out to spell ODD? Well they certainly were, they’ve been panicking for ten minutes straight now. Thankfully nobody has died in all the chaos so far, but there’s a lot of destruction still going on and I think the guys firing the cannons finally stopped.

I felt kind of bad about all of the self-inflicted that had occurred here.

“Hi my name is Jaded La Perm, may I inquire as to what your name is as well mister sir old guy?” I grinned cheerfully at him as I asked this politely and respectfully. I could feel my tail wagging back and forth in my excitement to meet this old codger, we were going to have so much fun together!

I would be busy trying to destroy this place and he would be so busy trying to stop me and everything. We’ll be the best of buddies by the end of the week for sure!

-Fizzle-

Infiltration was a success, mostly because nobody cared that we just walked in. Everyone was still panicking about Sugar, either that or they were terrified of Jade for some earthly reason. I’d be scared too, especially if you knew exactly all of what Jade and our mom can do. I did know, but the thestrals certainly didn’t.

After ten minutes of watching and waiting while mom and Jacky safely infiltrated the place to look around. They were searching for things to loot or might even possibly find the fabled ninja stuff Jade wanted as a souvenir for visiting this dangerous place. I was watching Jade to make sure she didn’t get in over her head, I shouldn’t have been worried so about her.

I was more worried about the old guy that just walked up to her, the only reason why Jade would be that excited is because she had a legal target that would probably soon warrant whatever she does to him. I pulled the griffon mask from my face and made my way closer, I didn’t need the adjustable binocular vision at the moment.

I wasn’t noticed, since most of the thestrals were all tied up in trying to put out a magical fire or were still panicking. This plan isn’t nearly as dangerous as it sounded when Jade came up with it. We didn’t know where Blade was, but she must have been rolling her eyes in derision at all this.

-Blade-

Standing by the doorway to the armory, I just rolled my eyes. These were supposed to be brave thestrals to a cult of darkness, shadows and nightmares? I just walked in and robed up, hid multiple bladed weapons in said robe and I had a good disguise that would let me get around freely.

Unless the thestrals around here had some method of identifying someone not of their ranks like a password or something. I highly doubt that they did, given how disorganized they all currently were. Sugar was definitely terrifying, but she hadn’t exactly done anything to cause this kind of response.

They were all a bunch of wimps, I personally chopped up a carrot and fed Sugar by hoof personally. I avoided getting bit by her several times, she was a bit playful about trying to disable me further by trying to rip my hoof off. I’m already mute, I didn’t want to be down a leg too. I still did it without her getting aggressive and trying to outright kill me though.

This place had a nice gothic feel to it, then again thestrals did build this place to take advantage of making things feel gloomy in a delightful manner. The décor was just that great.

-Jade-

“I am Screaming Star!” The old guy intone loudly in a drill instructor tone.

“Wow, your parents didn't like you.” Sounds like something you’d name a giant robot.

Author's Notes:

I've been having lots of painful headaches lately.

Chapter Eighteen, Cult-tural: Quarter glass.

-Star Scream… er… Screaming Star!-

“What do you think you are exactly doing here specifically Ms. La Perm?” As if I didn’t know that this whelp was going to be a headache, no normal being could keep an Al-mi’raj that peaceful.

Not even shadow mages could control them and they had incredible abilities to keep black dragons away, then again they don’t control those either. What good were they again? I really do need to stab the leader in the back soon, it’s just really quite hard to do with him being so competent.

“I’m a rogue, but also a sun priestess or priest. So I call myself a rogue sun priest!” If she were one like she just stated, then things are about to get horribly awry around here.

“Do you have a moon priest companion?” I asked for the sake of clarity if she was speaking the truth about her status as one of the enemies of the Order of Dark Dreams.

“No, but I’m doing pretty well on my own. You’re quite amiable for someone that’s supposed to be killing me.” Something tells me this cat wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. “Does having an assassin that’s tried to kill you as a companion count?”

“Not unless she does moon priest rituals no...” I considered it for a moment, nothing ventured I suppose. “Is your assassin friend willing to take a commission?”

“Sorry, she’s trying to get out of that sort of work after my two close friends kicked her butt on two separate occasions. Also somebody out there really doesn’t like me and I can’t understand why that is, at least you’re not immediately trying to kill me.” Well the cat certainly sounds honest, maybe I could use that against her and the reason I wasn’t trying to kill her now was because of that thing sitting in her lap. “Though don’t ask if I can help you with your leader as that’s your own business. I’m not an assassin personally and while I won’t kill people, that does not mean I can’t maim someone to within an inch of their life and leave them for dead under the right circumstances. The real killer is right here.”

The killer rabbit in her lap chittered affectionately, I shuddered to think what would happen if that thing were set loose. Also the cat was a bit smarter than I took her for a second ago, I just had to ask.

“How did you know I have it in for my leader?” I, Screaming Star, lead drill instructor and commander to a large number of thestrals, received a quirked eye and a highly confused look.

My plans were well hidden and executed with precision. Though they often fail, nobody knew I was trying to kill our current leader. Well at least nobody should know, how this cat did was beyond me.

“Seriously? It’s really obvious, I mean with a name like ‘Screaming Star’ I would not turn my back on you in an empty room… much less a room full of people you know and trust. In that respect I’d back myself into a corner and wait for someone else to get targeted, specifically you.” Ah, she’s a thinker this one, I had better be careful with her. Since she is a Sun Priest, I am definitely vindicated in worrying about their continued existence. “Again, your parents either hated you or they wanted a rock star for a son, maybe as a deaf metal player.”

“Don’t you mean death metal player?” Why in the world was I entertaining her thoughts? Though she might have something of a point going here, all those guitar lessons and spike covered clothes make more sense in hindsight. Also yes, I could say my parents outright hated my guts before I left them behind in the dust.

Also death metal just wasn’t my music, which is odd coming from a cultist in the Order of Dark Dreams come to think of it. The music was all about my favorite subjects even, death, destruction, a personal favorite of mine being suffering and everyone’s favored tenet around here ‘darkness’.

“Nope, I definitely mean deaf. Can you imagine a thestral singer screeching at the top of their lungs? You can’t kill someone that way, but you can definitely make them go deaf and disorient them.” Despite the fact that this Jaded may have driven us off the tracks as it were, I did kind of find it interesting that she had a largely valid point. Why isn’t it called ‘deaf metal’ when its defining point is being absurdly loud and ear rupturing? “So, are you going to capture me and put me in a cell for interrogation already? I can tell you there’s a pegasus already snooping around in here in a pith helmet. There’s also some stallion guy name Doctor looking for something here, it’s probably in the underground base so you might want to keep him away from whatever it is he’s looking for.”

I stood there in silence and stared at her, she wasn’t even being tortured and she was giving the information that there were others around freely? Well of course there were others around, the airship that was spotted was a one pony airship, but it could carry ten to twelve passengers easily enough.

What she said finally caught up to me and I realized that she knew quite a bit too much.

“How in all that is the unholy eternal darkness of nightmares could you possibly know about the secret underground base?!” She just gave me a long, flat, demeaning look.

“It’s no wonder you’re all doomed to fail whatever it is you think you’re trying to accomplish when Nightmare eventually does come back.” The girl received the most scathing glare I could give her. “I’m just telling the truth here, her defeat is going to be pretty swift if this is all you have to show for it. I mean the monastery is full of holes, one of the towers is knocked down and a large portion of it is still burning down. All I did was walk up, asked to be captured and held prisoner while holding one of the world’s most dangerous creatures calmly in my arms.”

By that logic you’re partially responsible and the reason so many thestrals are floundering about like useless little beetles, I ate things like that for breakfast.

“Again, how did you know about the base?” I wasn’t going to be distracted by her inanities.

“Simple, there’s not enough room up here for the number of thestrals present, also I doubt thestrals like yourselves would do anything other than follow traditional sleeping habits. Which would of course be in caves despite none being around.” She paused and looked at me with a hint of amusement on her face. “The only explanation would be something directly under the monastery in some kind of huge hollowed out cave system where you built some kind of base or city, anyone who hasn’t been shot by a cannon of pure darkness and managed to get close enough would notice something is off immediately. Too many thestrals for the monastery to feasibly hold and not enough supply space to hold all the food despite its palace like construction, also you guys don’t tend to live above ground in the light of day very often.”

“Points, you have many and possibly more.” After I said that she gleefully her paws to together while giggling.

“Oh, what do I win with these points?” Is she really being sincere right now? I can’t tell whether she’s being incredibly stupid or incredibly intelligent, maybe even both. “Do I get my own ninja servant?”

“Look, save me a migraine and follow me to the holding cells. Better yet… guards! You, you and you make yourselves useful and get some weapons to hold her at spear point in case she tries anything funny… well funnier than holding a deadly beast in her arms.” I knew she wanted to be captured and she was bound to do something with that, now if only I could figure out how to benefit from it. I should probably have her killed outright, but the rabbit will be a problem. I can be insane, but I’m stupid. “I think I have just the idea of how to deal with you and you’re little rabbit too, it’ll take some time to set up though.”

Several thestrals hovered around her pointing their spears at her.

“Oh one last question, do you have an arena with giant monsters, evil mirror cloning, black dragons and or possibly a wendigo? A wendigo would be nice, as it could help me make snow cones! Any one of those thing would be fun to play with really.” This sun priest was very different from what the historical texts say she should be like. At least she was clearly up front about being insane though.

“You’ll just have to find out, guards take her away!” They three saluted and started to lead, she was making way too many lucky guesses for me to be comfortable with.

Sun Priests of the past were not quite this excited to put into the line of fire or even capable of combat, this one seemed to be an outlier if she was in fact a sun priest. Also she must be acting bubbly just to annoy me, why else would she seem so happy to endear herself to me, she’s cunning and I don’t like anyone more cunning than me being around.

I have a sudden idea, I can put on a show for our leader. We can watch as this cat fights for her life and I can dig a knife into his back when he least expects it. The reign of dear leader Hollow Heart would surely come to an end this time.

-Fizzle-

Okay they were leading her away, avoid that old cackling guy and now just to sneak behind the guys taking her into the monastery.

“Hey, who are you!” I froze looked at the thestral and lashed out a hoof around his neck and gripped him in a specific spot, we sat there for a moment.

“Why are you pinching the back of my neck with your hoof?” Well this was about to get awkward, the guard didn’t seem to be going down.

“Well, it’s an ancient technique taught to me by a sphinx that lets me knock someone out by grabbing them in a specific spot.” I nodded to him, before I removed my hoof and rubbed at the back of my head. “I have no idea why the nerve pinch didn’t work, I think I might have forgotten something about how to do it right.”

“Well that’s enough out of you! You’re coming with…. with… pretty rainbows!” He flopped onto his face completely unconscious. After looking around to make sure the coast was clear, I stole his stuff for a disguise. It would work so long as nobody expected me to fly.

Oh right, that’s what I forgot about the technique. Hold three second then release any time afterwards, Sekhet did say that was something I kept forgetting about doing it. Too bad it only works on ponies or at least equine equivalent species like a deer.

I stepped over the guard and quickly made my way down the corridor in glancing into rooms to see if they were the direction that Jade went in. When I checked one room, I caught the tail end of a portion of the floor rising into place and vaguely heard Jade’s voice joking about why they needed all the subterfuge when no one was out to get them.

Sound seems to carry really well around here, looking up from the floor I looked at the various things in the room, now how do I open the entrance? There’s got to be a switch or something around here.

“I knew there was something odd about you, nice disguise by the way. Hey Fizzle, that is your name right?” Jumping at the sound of Daring’s voice I turned to her with a calm looking a jerky looking smile on my face. I nodded and waited for her to ask anything. “Anyway, did you hear something in this room a while ago? Also what did your friend do, that caused all that chaos?”

“She walked into the courtyard holding Sugar, that’s what happened. I think the rabbit you seem to think you can take scared the thestrals crazy without even batting an eye at them.” I turned to look at the floor. “As for what I heard in hear? There’s an entrance to something in here and Jade has been captured, she got captured on purpose before you ask and I need help finding a way to open that entrance. It could take an hour to…”

A clicking noise and the floor started lowering rapidly into stairs one at a time, I turned to Daring who poke the symbol of that had the depiction of the mare in the moon on it.

“No need to thank me, it was kind of obvious.” She said smugly and then floor down the stair, I quickly galloped after her and heard her gasp.

I came up next to Daring and stared at the vast open cavern, a small city sat before us and it was full of dim lighting.

“Well I’m off to find Jade to make sure her plan goes without a hitch.” I walked forward and down the path towards the city. “When she plans for safety, she never really plans for own.”

“You do that, I’ve got to find out what Caballeron is after.” She hovered after me for a bit. “There’s lots of valuable stuff in the monastery, but none of it is magical. If it was, it probably wouldn’t have shattered so easily from all the cannon fire.”

-Sekhet-

“That’s why velocity is a harsh mistress.” Sure my other friends may be off wandering into a cult load of danger, but I wasn’t worried.

They better come back with only minor injuries or so help me, I will go up there and rip those cultists apart personally. They want a war of nightmares and shadows? I’ll give them a war they’ll never forget if they hurt my friends!

Okay, so I was really very worried about them, but mortals needed adventures to grow. I can’t hover over them all day every day to make sure they don’t get hurt and I expected some form of airship related head injury when they got back.

What is my life that I actually wanted airships to crashing into me now? Well it did give me a decent reasons to flex my riddling muscles by quite a bit.

“Remind me to never use slingshots around you coach.” Arizona was quite aggressive, she sometimes even lets her anger control her.

I couldn't get lazy with my coaching job Just because my favorite friends weren't around to watch over.

“Slingshots nothing, you should hear my tale about bungie cords and how to make them extremely dangerous.” As a war goddess I could weaponized anything. Including, but not limited to, my own blood, my breath, tufts of hair from my tail, my ear wax and even my claw clippings, when I deign to trim them that is. I had a captive audience, including the three Vibrant Vikings. “I take you all want to know? It happened on a trip to Las Pegasus…”

Author's Notes:

Next chapter will be a combination of two chapters in one so I can get in a full blown battle sequence with requisite music.

Chapter Eighteen, Cult-tural: Empty glass.

-Three days later Jade-

I woke up feeling very comfortable, mostly because I had Fizzle wrapped around me. Can you say super model mare friend? I believe Fizzle will look good enough to be one in the future. Sure the scarred eye or broken horn might not be for some people, but she’s definitely attractive. The cage couldn’t be more comfortable, the only thing uncomfortable about all this was that Sugar was in the cage with us.

“How, how did you manage to do it?!” Entered Screaming Star, screaming at us and making a nuisance of himself. His gleaming silver fur, alongside his rusty red and blue streaked mane, all looked to be standing on end.

He was about to wake up Fizzy, I currently think she was too comfortable and lovable to wake up. She did happen to be snuggling up against me.

“Quiet, you’ll wake her up.” Knowing his special talent was screaming loudly and being violently beaten up by his leader, it was unlikely he’ll acquiesce to let Fizzle sleep happily.

“I don’t care if I wake her up!” Well you certainly weren’t a good host Screaming, then again you had a very valid reason to be mad at me despite not having evidence to back anything up. If he woke Fizzle up he was going on the list of petty kitty revenge. Aside from Flamberge, no one else was on that list at the moment. So he’d be fast tracked for reprisal by his proximity alone. “How the buck did you get out of that cage? Not once, not twice, but ten times over the last three days since we put you in there!”

“I didn’t get out of the cage at all, I’ve been the very model of a damsel in distress.” Yeah, I actually managed to keep my face straight while saying this. I surprised myself sometimes.

“So you weren’t the one that stapled all my furniture to the ceiling?” He eyed the novelty industrial sized stapler sitting in the cage Fizzle was supposed to be in. “Not to mention the several other juvenile or highly annoying things you and your friends have done over that last few days. I know there’s at least one more person in your group somewhere in the Night Fright Grotto and I will find them!”

“How could I have possibly been responsible for that?” I stated quite clearly as if I had no idea what he was talking about. Something tells me that Screaming wasn’t buying it. “I’ve been in here the whole time and I have an alibi in the thestral patrols. They can confirm I’ve been in this cage when the incidents occurred.”

The nearby thestral guard nodded in an amiable manner, agreeing with the fact that I had yet to seemingly leave the cage.

“Then how do you explain that sad excuse for a unicorn cuddling you?” He pointed at a snoozing Fizzle who started to twitch and turn in her sleep while tightening her grip on me. I didn’t like what he said about Fizzle and he was very close to earning my eternal ire. “The cages are teleport, phase and portal proof. No amount of magic could have possibly moved her from that cage to this one, the only other viable option is a thestral! No pony would be stupid enough to defy my orders or the will of Lord Hollow Heart. None of the keys are missing and they are a good fifty feet away from the cages at all times unless needed.”

“Well duh! If we can’t use magic and we can’t get to the key, then how did we do it then mister smarty slacks? I doubt we’d know anyone here.” I kissed Fizzy on the forehead and she calmed down, she then dug her nose deeply into my neck and inhaled sharply. At least she wasn’t choking me anymore.

I enjoyed being a cuddle toy, mostly because it made Fizzle smile in her sleep. Something she seldom does while awake, such a sight goes well with her beautiful eyes. She tries not to let me know her insecurities, because she knows exactly how I’ll act to make things better.

“I don’t know, but I’ll eventually figure out how you got that giant yellow hippopotamus toy into Hollow Heart’s room.” That wasn’t even the worst we’ve done over the last few days Mr. Screaming. “The fact that it’s twice the size of the doorway is the most disturbing thing about it!”

Shouldn’t you be more focused on how I got the smell of durians to flood throughout all of Night Fright Grotto city… town… village? It drove every thestral wild with trying to find the fruit, they loved that smell.

All thestrals were relatively fruit crazy and if it wasn’t fruit, then it was bugs for this insectivorous pony species.

“Sure you will, once you get over the fact that it’s completely and physically impossible for me, Fizzle or our horned rabbit companion to escape these cages.” A total lie that was, we’ve done it multiple times. Sugar’s horn could cut straight through the bars, but that would give away the game. “Though I must admit that I am completely stumped as to how Fizzle got out of her cage to get into mine to use me as a snuggle toy.”

It wasn’t easy, but we managed to get out multiple times in varying different ways. I couldn’t cast away the bars and Fizzle’s magic couldn’t imbue them with different properties to make them brittle.

There was also that thing were we painted a lot of rooms with a stupidly bright shade of neon green. One would ask how we did that, I on the other hand would ask why there was such an abundance of unused bright neon green paint around here in the first place.

I guess not all the thestrals here were cultists, which would certainly explain their initial incompetent showing on the surface at the monastery above us.

You’d think they’d use dark purple paint, but no. The actual color scheme around here was grey, dark brown or blood red. That didn’t fit nightmares color scheme of dark purple, pale blue or black at all.

So again, why did they even have a room full of bright, as the sun itself, neon green paint in the first place?

“So you say… well you won’t be that much of a nuisance to everyone any longer. I’ve gotten our fearless leader to agree to throw you into a gladiatorial fight to the death with our special defenses.” Oh, Did Screaming Star plot my death while plotting his bosses at the same time? How quaint. “You’ll meet you’re doom today!”

“Before that, can I ask why you had the world’s largest stockpile of eye searing bright neon green paint?” I liked the color, but it was so bright it made the walls glow as if it were a highly radioactive toxic sludge. It was a really nifty effect… also the paint just might be glow in the dark for all the wrong reasons. To think the paint seemed so normal in the paint cans.

“I don’t want to talk about it with the ever confounding likes of you!” With that odd statement, Screaming turned away from us and stomped off. “I’ll be back to escort you there personally to make sure you don’t do something funny, also you won’t be getting a last meal. I want you to die on an empty stomach!”

Sugar chittered cutely while bouncing around in the cage, she at least hadn’t gone stir crazy and was being well fed to make sure she doesn’t run amok. I eventually woke up Fizzle and since the coast was clear it was time to do an age old guard tradition, goofing off while on the job.

The thestral guard moved over to the cage and unlocked it. We didn’t necessarily need Blade’s help to escape the cages, but it was the thought that counted. She motioned for us to follow her and we eventually came up to a table with several thestrals sitting at it.

“So guys, who’s up for a game of Cheat?” A fun card game for all of us and several friendly thestral guards.

“Jade’s here, now it’s a party!” One of the thestrals commented out loud in a lackadaisical tone. “Shuffle the deck Hard Tell and let’s really bust loose!”

-Hours later Night Fright Grotto Arena, Kuril-

Oh thestral culture was so interesting, when it wasn’t the evil side of it at least. The cult was prominent since they did kind of build this place, but there was a lot of thestrals here who weren’t cultists.

In fact there was a group called the Exceptionally Valorous Equine Neophytes, we made contact with them and they were pretty friendly despite the dark atmosphere around here what with the evil thestral cultists being a majority.

Like Jade pointed out about the Order of Dark Dreams spelling ODD, the thestrals we met were called EVEN. EVEN was an organization that worked as an opposing force that was quite underhanded in a good way.

With their leader Prime Number, they were slowly converting thestrals away from worshipping nightmare moon and or nightmares, monstrosities and other truly dark things in general.

Instead of nightmare, they worshipped the original princess of the night Luna and were trying to pull the rug out from under the cultists. Don’t honestly know which thestral started it, because Prime certainly didn’t. They were fighting a slow and steady uphill battle with ODD.

Enough about them though, I wondered where Daring got off to. I knew Jade, Fizzle and Blade were having fun. Sugar was protecting Jade and so far… things didn’t really seem altogether bleak for a cult dedicated to making things worse for the whole world by the very nature of their doctrine.

I’m just waiting for a shoe to drop as I spent quality time with my little chick Jacky, after we robbed the monastery of some valuables and weaponry. There were ninja here and they were in both ODD and EVEN factions. Jade was going to be so happy I got her a few ninja things that I bartered off of EVEN, including an instruction manual for smoke bombs.

“Mom, jerk butt is coming out.” After having gotten some attention, Jacky pointed to Screaming Star moving to stand next to the throne that Hollow Heart sat on. He looked angry, my kitten must have been going the extra mile this time.

“I wonder if Jade did enough to warrant whatever ODD is going to send at her.” My little tom cat was crazy in a way even I sometimes couldn’t follow.

The silver stallion thestral with the dark purple hair didn’t look very nice at all, just from his appearance alone I can kind of see why Prime was so set against him leading these thestrals into the ground. His absolute authority as head nightmare cultist sounds horrifying now that I’ve actually seen him.

“This better be good Screaming Star.” Hallow Heart leaned back in his throne looking contemplative.

“Oh it will be, because today we’ll get to see a sun priest be thrown into the arena against our mightiest weapons!” Screaming Star let loose a dark chuckle. It didn’t take much for me to guess that they didn’t care if the crowd could hear them or not. It did have me a bit worried about what my tom cat was going to face. “This will be an event of pain and misery of the likes none of you have ever seen before! We’re going to toss three beings into the arena to be killed, their screams will be music to my… our ears!”

“This could prove to be entertaining… provided that the priest’s death is not too quick.” His red eyes stared deeply into Screaming’s in a demented manner. “Tell me, did she come with a moon priest?”

“No, but I’m quite sure she’s a sun priest and that she won’t be leaving the arena alive.” Well that caused a few shudders throughout the crowd. It was that kind of ruthlessness that gave EVEN a hoof hold here in the first place. “She’ll soon be a bloody smear on the ground with what I have in store for her.”

The thestrals gathered in the stands watched as several guards forced Jade, Fizzle and Sugar into the arena. They looked perfectly fine in a manner of physical health at the moment and only Fizzle looked a bit worried.

My kitten doesn’t seem very worried about her situation in the slightest. Sugar just looks as sweet and playful as she ever does, I don’t honestly know why everyone fears her.

“I’m kind of surprised that no one in the stands care that we look like really odd thestrals.” Yes Jacky, a beaked thestral and another sporting cat ears with matching tail does look odd from an outsider’s perspective.

I’m relying on us being weirdness censored, that way nobody will notice anything amiss about us. It was working really well too, I’m surprised that none of the thestrals around here had pinged us yet with their voices yet. What a polite bunch of ponies these people were.

I was eventually going to run out of illusion dust if I kept abusing it like this.

“First up, and possibly the only one needed, the Quake Maker!” The ground started rumbling and I saw cracks forming in the center of the arena. I had the sense to think something dangerous was coming.

-Night Fright Grotto Arena, Jade-

“First one’s mine, Fizzle can get the harder stuff and if we really get into trouble…” I motioned to Sugar who perked up and looked slightly aggressive. “We have a secret weapon. Sugar protect Fizzle, unless it looks like I’m in too much trouble.”

Sugar looked around attentively while flicking her long ears about, she growled adorably.