So, let’s recap. I’m working at a convenience store in Minnesota, keeping up my parent’s old house, thanks to them generously allowing me to live there. A pony who I think is Twilight Sparkle comes in from the cold, but she’s actually Sunset Shimmer, or a changeling, because she uses me, and dumps me, and changes me into a pony, and a girl. No longer will I feel the satisfaction of cumming inside a woman, because now I’m the woman.

My best friend Nick gets... turned into a pony through having sex with me, but Mira doesn’t change until later, so we don’t know if I’m contagious or not, because otherwise why on earth would that happen to Nick? Nick and Mira verify very exhaustively that having sex with a pony won’t turn you into one, so is it just me?

We uncover Sunset Shimmer’s evil plot to spread a virus that turns every human into a pony, so that her queen can control them and... rule them, I guess. Except it’s not even contagious. Nick and I end up having more sex. A lot of sex. We chase that pony all the way to Baltimore, but she turns the tables on us, and now we’re getting accused of doing it! Then, not only am I pregnant, but I’m starving and dehydrated, not given enough food or water, and being interrogated by angry men in hazmat suits.

Things get kind of hazy at that point, but after somehow escaping the thing in my cell, I’m rescued from the complex by a group of ponies from the convention, led by none other than Twilight Sparkle herself. Except now she’s the real Twilight, I guess, maybe, I think. Hiding from the law, we desperately train our magic so that we can become powerful enough to open a gateway to escape to Equestria, help Twilight return home, and get the help of the ponies there. And Nick’s been fucking like a ton of pony females.

Nick’s uh, conquests are worrying in more ways than one. I don’t think he’s in control of himself, even though he says it’s the guys gone girls who’re losing it. He was never just... having sex with Mira. Then pony happened, and everything changed. He had sex with my sister, and then he had sex with... with me!

The worst part is, Nick has to be one of the more well behaved stallions of the bunch. The evidence is just overwhelming, that there is a lot of sex happening around here. It’s kinda too embarassing to ask them directly, but it’s pretty obvious living together like this, that none of the mares here are menstruating. And that makes all of them... all of us, pregnant.

I don’t know what to do about it, but I do know that a green mare named “John” needs someone to talk to, someone who won’t get her itching to fill herself up with like 500 babies. Or however these... female impulses work.

Now that I know how to masturbate, the urges been almost... bearable. I’ve been able to resist jumping on Nick, or... any of the other stallions, at least. I’ve never looked at a penis and just wanted it before, like to the point I wanna roll on the ground and jam my hoof into myself, but want a penis to slide in there, even more. But once I have jammed said hoof to fruition, I feel... marginally more able to look at a stallion’s sheath and balls, without trying to get my butt pressed up against it. But it doesn’t seem to be helping John, so I... just want to talk with her about it. Fake girl to fake girl.

The mare I’m looking for is green, with a lighter green for her hair, a winged pony with fluffy green feathers at her sides. I find her waiting in the soup line, but I don’t approach her until after we’re done eating. Once she’s gotten up to put the bowl in the dirty dishes bin, I plod over that way, asking “Hey... John, right?” once I’m close enough to attract her attention.

She turns her head, and looks at me with greyish blue eyes. “I guess,” she murmurs unenthusiastically, looking down again to nibble distantly at her soft green pinions.

“So I’m... um...” I say, an uncertain slight swaying on my hooves. “I’m friends with... Nick.”

She looks up at me at that again, and upon seeing my serious demeanor (for a little girly pony), the blood immediately rushes to her cheeks, tinting them red beneath her green cheek fur. “Oh god, he told you,” she says, staring at me in horror.

“No! No, he...” I try to reassure her, taking a step forward and holding up a hoof appeasingly, but she only shrinks back, “He asked me for advice, because he’s not exactly sure what to do. I know you were a—you used to be a ...guy.”

“I... I can’t help it,” she whimpers in a sweet voice, ears going back and eyes tearing up as she backs away defensively, “I had to do it. I’m not like that! I-it just happened. I wasn’t trying to... to...”

“No, it’s okay, I understand!” I plead, giving her space, but staying close enough to put my hoof on her chest...shoulders if I can, or even to hug her, if I dared, “I was... was with Nick too, and I also used to be a guy!”

“You used to be a guy?” she asks, her panic breaking to look at me skeptically.

“Yes... c’mon, I just want to talk,” I say, turning for the door, “We can go somewhere more private. And I promise, I... I know how you feel.”

“I know I seem normal, but I am totally freaking out on the inside,” I tell John, as she walks stiffly beside me, accompanying me out of the barn and down towards the nearby fields, where not many ponies are at the moment. “I just was worried that you’ve been ...with Nick a lot lately.”

“So, I presume you’re his real girlfriend?” she asks bitterly, staring forward, not willing to make eye contact.

“I’m his friend,” I admit uneasily, “And we have e–experimented with girlfriend stuff before. But I was trying to ask about you. How’re you doing?”

“As good as I can be,” she says with a wary look at me out of the corner of her eye.

“It um...” I say to the unresponsive mare, “It really does make you want it, doesn’t it.”

“What makes me want what?” she asks, in a tone that suggests she already knows the answer.

“The more you... make love, the more female you want to be,” I explain, “It’s just logical... it feels good, so you want it, right?”

“I suppose,” she says mutedly, the tip of her tail just twitching back and forth, “It feels bad when I don’t, so... I have to be a girl, I guess. It just builds up over time, and he’s just... standing there, you know?”

“Yeah, I... kind of do,” I say, resisting the urge to just hug her. “It can get really frustrating. Not just with him, but with...”

“...yourself,” she finishes for me.

“Yes,” I reply, feeling my ears go down. Ugh...

“It’s not all that bad anymore,” I say, trying to perk up again, “It’s not as bad, now that I can take care of it on my own, at least.”

“What do you mean take care of it on your own?” she asks, eyeing me suspiciously.

Blushing, I look around, but it doesn’t look like anypony’s in earshot. We’re just a splash of yellow and green in the middle of a fallow wheat field. So I say, “You know. L-like what you were doing, before Nick... um... when Nick found you. You know, like touching... yourself?”

“That just makes me want it more though!” she protests in a hoof stomp of frustration, “I need him, to... to get some relief, already!”

Puzzled, I walk around to face John directly, the dry, weedy grass crunching under my hooves, but not otherwise any sort of hindrance. “I uh, I found it pretty relieving,” I tell her, wondering what kind of relief she wants, if not orgasm?

“How is it in any way relieving?” she snaps at me, with narrowed irises, “It’s not like you can just orgasm with a hoof!”

A calm breeze blows past us.

“You haven’t orgasmed with a hoof,” I say skeptically. “Nick said you were masturbating though!”

“No, I only orgasmed with Nick,” she insists, looking at her own flank anxiously, “I-it just isn’t possible! Hooves are all hard and boney!”

“No, you use the soft part,” I tell her, holding up a hoof to demonstrate, “See this part in the middle? The fur on the side of your leg is also really soft, and—”

“Seriously?!” she practically shrieks, “You figured out how to orgasm with just a hoof?!”

“Please, not so loud!” I tell her in a harsh whisper, wincing as I look around to see if anyone’s noticed, or is heading our way. “It’s kind of private, you know,” I unhappily chide her, but nobody’s whistling at us, or staring or anything. I’m pretty sure we’re safe for now.

“S-so you won’t tell me how to do it?” she replies in a more normal tone of voice, except really trembly and—wait what??

“Are you crying?” I ask in shock at the blue eyed mare, eyes full of tears, and legs unsteady. “No don’t—no I will tell you,” I tell her firmly, “I just don’t want everyone on this farm knowing that I... do stuff like that! It’s okay, really!”

“I can’t help it,” she whimpers, wiping at her eyes ineffectually with a forehoof, “I can’t help anything! I just cry and—it just happens to me! I wanna let him make me pregnant. I just need some relief! I’m just gonna make a mistake and I want it and...”

I don’t know what to say to stop this, so I just reach out with my forehooves and pull her into a tight hug. Her um... her wings spread behind her in shock, but she puts forth no further resistance, just wraps her own forehooves around me and leans on me for support, just as I lean on her.

It’s really none of my business, especially in how she... touches herself, and I don’t know how it happened, to put me in a position like this, but I can’t just let her suffer. I think I can help her. I just need this mare, this... man to calm down enough to hear me.

“I can show you how to stop feeling quite so pent up,” I tell her earnestly, “That way you won’t have to keep trying to make him do it with you.”

“You want me to stay away from him, I guess,” the green-on-green pegasus mare says, rubbing a forehoof insecurely along her arm.

“I... guess so?” I say equally insecurely, “I’m really new at this whole... being-a-girl thing. I know I’m supposed to get mad at you, or hate you, or him, but... I know how you feel, and I know how he feels, and... neither of you were trying to hurt me. It’s just a... thing that happened.”

“A-and if I say I enjoyed it, and I want him to do it more?” she asks testily, with a wary look in my direction.

And the strange thing is, that actually brings a smile to my face. “I dunno,” I try to explain it, “It’s just... I know how you feel. Literally, I mean. And it just makes me feel good, knowing that you got to feel something like that. I’m just worried that you’re... trying to be with Nick so much, for your sake.”

“For my sake?” John asks, blinking, “You mean you don’t want me to get pregnant?”

“I mean you don’t have to... give up being careful, and just do whatever your body wants,” I tell her, feeling like a huge hypocrite in doing so, “You should approach stallions because you want to, not because you feel like you should be a mare, or have a foal!”

“I do want to do it though!” she whines, “That’s the problem. I w-want to be a ridiculous little m-mare around him because he can—because he went... I just wanna feel him.”

Unsure, I ask, “How is it a problem, if you want it?”

“I don’t want to want it,” she concludes.

“...oh. Yeah, that is a problem.”

Whatever funny business ponies have been getting up to here, the only real evidence I have is the lack of menstruation, which still seems like a totally crazy concept to me, but it’s not like I have a big book of female anatomy lying around to reference. You can sometimes see mares and... and yes former male mares talking with stallions, going off together and laughing, but... it’s kind of an awkward subject to bring up when a couple return from the woods, flushed with embarassment among other things, and smelling like... like it’s really obvious what they just did.

I’m not really comfortable with just... doing it right in front of John, nor is she comfortable with me doing that, but I give her some tips that helped me, at least. She didn’t even realize that her teats were... sensitive in that special way. She says she’s going to try to... not go after Nick as much, and I tell her that if it’s not working, I will help her, one way or another.

So imagine my surprise, when I stumble upon John and Nick making pony babies.

Metaphorically.

Of course I am livid in the face of such depravity. When I walk up to them, the couple think they are hidden behind a copse of trees. Well their smell isn’t hidden, and I could follow Nick’s scent all the way back from the barn. Rounding the trees, I rear up in shock, a surprised squeal escaping me at the sight of them going at it like animals. You can’t even see Nick’s penis, it’s so embedded in the green pegasus’s snatch!

“Meadows!” Nick yelps head snapping in my direction, clutching the mare’s rump almost protectively as he keeps fucking it , “I-I can explain!”

“Of course you can explain!” I squeak indignantly, “Get out of her, right now!”

“N-no wait, please...!” the mare says, swaying her head as if coming out of a trance, but there’s nothing she can do about it now. Still looking at me abashedly, Nick climbs off her, and—and I try not to s-stare at his massive tool, sliding slickly out of her, gleaming with John’s juices. I try to ignore the mare’s attempts to hold in her tight squeal, as the effect of him pulling out shudders through her entire body. Blushing red-faced, trying not to think of my own juicy insides just hungry for a... a cock, I tell Nick urgently,

“Dude! John is a guy! He’s been trying not to want this!”

“Please, I want...” John says, sidling up clumsily, trying to press against Nick, “Please I want this I don’t...”

“John, John stay with me,” I say holding a forehoof against her cheek, looking into her confused, grey rimmed pupils. “You do want this, but you told me. You don’t want to want this. Remember?”

She pushes my hoof away, focusing on me and saying angrily, “Well maybe I don’t want to...” her anger breaks then, and she crosses her eyes, continuing carefully. “Want to... not want it.“

“You don’t want to want to not want it,” Nick says flatly. “How the heck does—”

“She’s insecure about her own desire,” I handily clarify, “And she wants to be confident instead.”

Blushing heavily, John mumbles something like, “Y-yeah...”

“Why’s it have to be so complicated?” Nick gripes, “It’s fun, it feels good, so...”

“Because of foals, Nick,” I say, scraping the earth in utter frustration, “We have to spend the next entire 9 months being... being pregnant with your foal! You think we want to give birth? ”

“No, but what does it matter then?” he says bleakly, “It’s not like I can get you any more pregnant.”

“Well—no—but...” I splutter, “I promised I would help her out, and...”

Hurt, I look to John, saying, “Why didn’t you talk to me about this? I said you didn’t have to do this, if you were having trouble um... f-feeling good on your own?”

“Well that’s great,” she says bitterly, “But at the end of the day, you don’t have a penis!”

“You don’t need one!” I insist, “There are things you can do!”

“Then tell me how to do it!” she snapped, “How’m I supposed to deal with...” she glanced back at her flank, “This!!”

I open my mouth, then close it again. Looking at Nick nervously, I say, “I-it’s kind of hard to talk about that stuff...”

“Then... then don’t talk... just show me!” she says and holy crap! She sticks it right in my face!

“I... ah...” I waver, looking at Nick pleadingly.

“Hey, no complaints here,” he says, hoof raised.

I stick my tongue out at him.

“That’s the spirit!” he says approvingly.

I... pull my tongue back in my mouth.

“I–I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I grumble, “So here’s what I did that... that worked.”

My hoof is upside down, relative to her body’s... orientation, but I guess it’ll work the same. She stiffens even more when I touch her groove, sliding my hoof along it, slicking down the fur.

“Ah!” the green mare named John cries, “H–I... I need it...” she trails off to a husky growl as her nethers outright squirm against my hoof in their winking. Her hindquarters are slimy, and her scent is sharp in the air, but I persevere. With my hoof soaked, I can smear her juices around her nipples with impunity. She’s... she’s winking just from me stroking her nipples. To actually see a mare wink, I’ve never been able to see myself do it. Her vulva just push outward, then pull inward, in exactly the motion that I’ve only vaguely felt before.

I continue rubbing her, sliding the frog of my right hoof into her hot entrance, warring with her winking labia, my nose just inches away from that ovenlike heat, but the pegasus I’m masturbating groans in frustration, spreading her wings and declaring, “‘s not... working I gotta have his... his dick in me. I’m a mare h-help I can’t—!”

Panicking, when she tries to move away from me, I try licking her, and she winks immediately, her nethers pressing strongly against my surprised tongue. The lightest testing lick has turned into a full on kiss, as the mare shoves her hips back against my face. My hoof moves to vaguely cradle her rump, but I hadn’t intended to... to do this!

Pressed against my face and tongue, her pussy feels so hot, j-just like my pussy feels so hot. I never... I never got to do this with Twilight. I just only ever fucked her with my penis. But feeling this other mare’s womanhood kissing my lips is just intoxicating. I lick her more strongly, and I can actually part her petals with my tongue, sliding it along the inner labia and just... exploring her passage.

The dizzying experience of eating a mare out is compounded, when Nick mounts me. This wasn’t part of the plan either! Moaning against her pelvis, I can only think of his dick, and how long it’s been since something was inside me when he weighs down my rump, and my legs stiffen and my tail swings way off to the side. I don’t want to want something inside me, but boy do I want something inside me. He slaps my belly with his... his penis, and I’m not sure if I should dare stop licking John’s pussy, to try to tell Nick to behave. I try to want him to behave, but I just can’t. I want it so bad, and it feels so good, when I feel his fleshy tool start sliding into me. I just stand there quivering, my tail curled high and my legs stiff with need, letting Nick’s penis into my birth canal.

John almost looks back then, saying, “Why did you stop—hey!” and desperate to keep her from seeing what Nick’s doing to me, and stopping him, I lunge forward and bury my nose in her rear, Nick’s shaft slips out of me just as it had been starting to slide gloriously in. Tongue slipping out from between her labia, I use it to caress her teats with her own juices mixed with my saliva. She squeals in shock at my sudden intensity, facing forward again as her own tail goes up like a flag.

Nick shuffles forward, and starts to penetrate me again. My moans are muffled by her muff, even when rocking back against Nick’s shaft needily pulls me away from the groin of this green furred mare. She just pushes her rump against me stronger, then. I barely have enough room to breathe, but with every glorious inch of Nick’s penis filling me, I try to share the feeling with John, pushing my tongue into her birth canal in the same rhythm that he’s fucking me. Nick was... in this passage. He was fucking her. I’m tasting what his penis... felt!

Nick humps against me, shoving deep again and again, while the mare in front of me starts to orgasm. I can feel her do it, quivering then clenching rhythmically around my tongue. I—I can feel her in there, where deep inside her, my tongue starts to double back on itself. I can feel all around in there, her wet, clenching vagina, just the same as mine. If I was her, I’d be the one drooled all over my muzzle, but the same place in me is filled with the incredible presence of Nick, pounding inside.

My own orgasm rushes up in me, and I find a... a spot inside John that makes her squeal to lick against it. Pressing the tip of my tongue against the strangeness in her depths, it... it gives way, enough that my tongue starts to slip beyond whatever this is. It clamps around me, but I can just sort of ease myself further inside. It must be her womb. I can taste her...

I moan heartily and orgasm , shoving my tongue as deep as I can, sliding it along places it should never be slid. Trying to ignore the mind blowing waves of pleasure radiating from my pelvis, I concentrate instead on the strangely irony taste of her feathery insides. She’s stopped climaxing at least, now standing there bow legged and panting, saying tightly, “Meadow... sweet, that feels... really weird...”

Frankly I just want to climb into her and curl up inside there like a foal, but I have to content myself with having her canal wrapped around my snout, when I feel the sudden warm spurts of Nick’s seed into my orgasmic passage. A primal thrill goes through me at the thought of him, the feeling of his seed pumping so deep up into me. My tongue’s kind of occupied, but a contented little horsey grunt escapes me, my tail swishing idly against the stallion’s side, full of the supreme satisfaction that I can just stand here getting impregnated, feeling a stallion pumping seed deep into my wide, accepting hips. If I wasn’t already pregnant, this’d be doing it to me.

Boldened by my own impregnation, I explore John’s strange... place, finding nothing but soft, fluffy, irony walls. I let the seed pump into my hips, stretched and quivering around a cock that is impregnating me. I stand there being a mare, who’s bearing Nick’s child, as I eat out John’s uterus. I’m curious enough, I can almost ignore the grunting stallion weighing my rump down and pumping me full of foal. Shouldn’t John’s foal be somewhere in here?

“H-how do you go that deep Meadowsweet I can’t... stop...” John says in a rising urgency, as my pussy starts to freaking leak Nick out behind me, “Aah—it’s—!” and then her passage convulses around me again. She immediately goes quiet, dedicated solely to the process of orgasming around my tongue. Her... her womb doesn’t contract rhythmically. It compresses strongly around the end of my tongue in one smooth slow stroke, while John’s vagina ripples so animatedly.

And so... here I am, standing there mounted by a stallion, with his penis in my birth canal, and his cum dripping out around it... again. This time however, my nose is buried inside another mare’s orgasming cleft. It’s... actually impossible to breathe like this. Yanking out of the green pegasus, I gasp for breath. Nick’s seed is... making me so slimy back there, as stuffed full of his big, fat dick as I am. John’s canal feels like it’s trying to resist, as I pull my tongue, bit-by-bit out of her. Nick climbs off of me and maybe he says some sort of apology to this mare dripping with his cum that I’ve become, but this mare doesn’t want his apologies. No, I just want... to not be pregnant. Wanna do this without worry.

With a final anxious squeak, John loses the last of my tongue from her depths, and we’re both free to collapse, dazed from the... thing that just happened.

“If I wasn’t already pregnant, I’d be pretty upset,” I tell Nick dully, looking at my own rear, which isn’t entirely my own.

“You sure could get...” John says shyly to me, blushing as she gazes my way, “...deep.”

“Your foal is still really tiny, I guess,” I reply thoughtfully, “I couldn’t find her anywhere!”

“Score one for impossible pony anatomy,” Nick mutters glumly, flat on his belly, “Sorry again, Meadowsweet I just couldn’t...”

“You could pull out, but you didn’t want to,” I correct him, “You couldn’t want to. None of us really get to choose what we want, I guess.”

“If only it didn’t have consequences,” Nick groans, “What’re we doing? We’re freaking animals.”

“Hey, I was doing fine,” I protest, “At least I’m not going around impregnating people!”

“You would be,” Nick retorts, “You were just lucky enough to get turned into a... okay maybe lucky isn’t the right word.” Nick scrunches and looks away, as if the purple haired stallion is unsure of whether unlucky is the right word either.

“I get what you mean, though,” I reassure Nick, “As much as I hate being pregnant, it’s... nice to know I physically can’t inflict that upon anybody else. I don’t envy you for... that, even though I probably should.” With sympathy and concern, I look towards the green pony known as John, slumped and relaxed on her side.

“I’m sorry too, Meadowsweet,” she says, looking at me with glimmering eyes, “You were just trying to help, and I just... if I came to you in the first place, then Nick wouldn’t have even been there to... finish in you.”

“She has a point,” Nick says wryly, “But she didn’t force me to have sex with you, Meadows. I was the one who wanted to do it, and I just... did.”

“Hey, it’s not like I was complaining,” I whine in admonishment, “I could’ve stopped and told you to cut it out, I just... didn’t.”

“I hope I don’t ruin things for anyone else,” Nick sighs, rolling to his side, “At least I can’t make things any worse, if I keep it limited to you... two.”

“I really don’t know how pony relationships work,” I say dazedly, looking from him to her, “You’d think I’d have felt jealousy or something, but I just feel... upset at being pregnant. I don’t know if ponies can feel jealousy.”

“Oh, I felt jealousy,” John says wryly. Then she blushes, and stammers, “W-when I heard you’d already... gotten a stallion to do it to you, Meadowsweet. A-and you weren’t even letting him anymore. I started feeling... I dunno. Like you weren’t treating him right. Then he came to me, and I could help him, and... I did. If that’s not jealousy, I’m not sure what is.”

She frowns, and adds, “I stopped feeling jealous real quick when he started... impregnating me.”

“I am such a jerk,” Nick groans, a horsey snort escaping his nose.

“No, no it was great! I wanted it!” John protests, half standing from lounging on the floor to beseech Nick, “I just got a little... scared then. Because I couldn’t stop thinking about what it could... do to me.”

“We can’t do this like normal,” I say in an unfortunately fatalistic manner, “We can’t do this like humans.”

“We’re already doing it doggy style!” John protests.

“Not physically! I mean... relationships,” I tell her earnestly, “I can’t be Nick’s girlfriend, Nick can’t be your boyfriend, we can’t... can’t start a family like a human would. We have to do something else or we’re going to go insane!”

“Like... what?” Nick asks skeptically.

“Like...” I look from Nick to the green mare named John. “Next time you need it, you come to me,” I say to John, “And I’ll be like your girlfriend. And... and once we’re both okay, we can help Nick. Then he won’t have to... take either of us.”

“That... makes sense, I guess,” Nick says uneasily.

“Oh, and if—” John starts, but blushes silent again. We’re both looking at her though, so she shyly speaks up, “And if Nick starts... mounting you, I can pull you out from under him, before he... finishes.”

“I guess you can’t just walk out from under me, if I’m...” Nick trails off with a sympathetic glance my way.

“Yeah, it’s pretty much impossible...” I admit with a wince, “It’s like... eating chocolate without swallowing, but a lot more compelling.”

“It’s like leaving a song unfinished,” John ponders.

“I already climaxed, way before he started impregnating me.” I whine, “What is it that makes it so...”

“...hot?” Nick suggests.

“Yeah,” I sigh, adding wistfully, “Never thought I’d ever want to cum inside myself.”

“Everything okay, over here?” asks Twilight Sparkle, lithely trotting up to the three of us.

The three of us respond with various utterances of “Uh,” “Well,” and “Heh,” and look suspicious as all heck, so I add,

“W-we’re doing fine, Twilight.”

“We were just talking about some... pony things,” Nick adds tactfully.

“What sort of pony things?” Twilight asks, looking at him with curiosity. She... she doesn’t even suspect, but how would she know what we’ve been... doing with each other?

Well Nick is sweating bullets, so I take a step towards her and say, “Twilight, how do p-pony relationships work? I mean, in Equestria?”

“Well, I can only speak from my own experience,” Twilight says, tapping her chin as she thinks. “Hmm. I came by my friends, because we were all preparing for the Summer Sun Celebration. They seemed to like me, and I didn’t understand what friendship could be, but they shared it with me openly and generously, and it wasn’t long before we were having adventures together!”

“S-so who’s the stallion?” I ask nervously.

“Stallion? What stallion?” Twilight replies, tilting her head.

“Y-you know, the stallion in your... relationship?”

Twilight shakes her head in amusement, rolling her eyes as she says, “Pretty sure I’d know if one of my friends was a stallion.”

“She means romantic relationships,” Nick cuts in, saving me from falling over my own words.

“Oh,” Twilight says, looking at Nick, wide-eyed, “You thought I... n-no, I don’t have a relationship relationship. I... there’s never any time to f-find a special somepony, plus I don’t know a lot of stallions and um...” Blushing, she ducks her chin, looking away from any of us.

“How about in general, though!” John asks, her sweet voice drawing Twilight’s eyes again. “You had to have read about pony relationships,” she declares confidently, “We’re just curious about how ponies do it in general.”

“Oh, well, heh heh, sorry that got kind of awkward,” Twilight says sheepishly, rubbing a foreleg on the back of her head. “Relationships between ponies are pretty much the same as between humans. A stallion woos a mare he falls in love with, they go out on dates for a while, and then they get married in one of the most magical moments of their lives. Then they um... h-have foals.” She kind of trails off into a bashful squeak at that last part.

“And... before marriage?” John persists with a wince.

“Before marriage, it’s mostly going out to meals together, having night time cuddles by the fire, taking long walks on the beach,” Twilight lists off, “You know, the usual ways to build a rapport with one another.”

“No, I mean... w-what if they have... f-foals before... marriage...” John says, also trailing off shyly.

Twilight stares at John, blurting out, “No! What? How could—” she looks away, closing her eyes and scrunching her muzzle before declaring, “How could you even suggest such a thing? Ponies only have foals after they’re married. You can’t do that sort of thing with somepony who’s not your husband! That’s just... despicable!”

Huffing a sigh/whinny, Twilight says apologetically to John, “I’m sorry, I’m sure it has happened before. But he’d have to be a pretty despicable stallion to take advantage of a mare that way. I wouldn’t put it past ponies like Flim and Flam to do that though, if they thought they could get away with it.”

Smiling at John, she says, “But it’s nothing you have to worry about just yet. Right now you’re in the company of former humans, who are attracted to human females. The chance is miniscule that you’ll run into a human perverted enough to be attracted to ponies, but if you do, be sure to let me know, and I can quickly and totally isolate them from the rest of the group.”

“I–isolate them, how?” John squeaks.

“Let’s just say I’ll make them sorry they ever did anything to you,” Twilight replies, cooly. She grins then, and adds, “But c’mon, what are the chances of that? We’re all friends here, and no friend is going to force anypony to bear foals. Your virtue is safe and sound!”

“Yeah, it’s... great...” John says with very little enthusiasm.

“It’s great to see you’re getting so comfortable with your pony forms, that you’re getting lots of exercise!” Twilight says with a smile.

“E-exercise?” Nick squeaks, as we all remember just what that exercise was.

“Oh, don’t think I can’t tell,” Twilight rolls her eyes, “Ponies who have exercised together and become very tired have a very distinctive smell I’ve found. Surely you noticed, too? Ponies have some important social cues by smell. You all smell just like every other pony who’s content from a good, hard workout.”

“A-any specific kind of workout?” I ask, confused as to whether Twilight knows or not.

“I dunno, kicking perhaps?” she suggests with calm, unsuspecting purple gems for eyes, “My friend Rarity smells like that after she’s been dancing privately with a romantic stallion. Whenever Pinkie Pie smells like this, she always tells me she’s been wrestling, which is a bit of an odd hobby, but if she and Fluttershy like that sort of thing, it’s really not for me to judge.”

Twilight pats me on the head, which is a little awkward since we’re basically the same height, saying, “It’s okay if you wanted to dance together, or practice your kicking, or even try to beat each other at wrestling if you like that. I’ve been so worried that you’ll be traumatized by your unfortunate transformation into a pony, it’s just such a relief to know you’ve been having fun. But er...”

She winks knowingly, saying, “Ponies are gonna be able to tell a lot about you from how you smell. Ponies just don’t keep many secrets from each other, so don’t be afraid if you become better friends from what you learn about each other through smell.”

“Right...” I say, staring at her in disbelief, “Ponies don’t keep secrets... and all Rarity does is dance with those stallions.”

“Yup,” Twilight says with a cheerful smile, bowing aside to pass along by us. “Well, I need to go check on the provisioners,” Twilight states apologetically, “If you need to tell me anything, you’re free to do so. I want your stay as a my little pony to be as pleasant as possible!”

As “helpful” as Twilight is, I know even less what to do about the situation than I did before. So next time me and Nick and John meet, John just looks my way, then raises her tail. Nick mounts on top of her, and an intense longing comes upon her face. She stares at me as he begins to fuck her, saying quietly,

“I’m not gonna stop.”

I don’t even know if it’s loud enough for Nick to hear her. “...I know,” I tell her in an uncertain affection, “Just... do what you need to do.”

“It’s... thick and sliding and tingling and...” she pants in whispers at the penis sliding into her back there, “N-Nick’s baby in my belly... he’s gonna do it...”

“You wannit so bad...” I whine intensely, rubbing at my own aching need back between my legs. The nipples that are going to make milk. It isn’t long before I’m worked up and dripping with desire, panting at her, “Let him... let him cum inside you. T-take his semen. I want you to do it. Have his baby...”

It takes a while for her to focus on me and process my words, but her flushed face staring seriously at me, she growls lustfully, “I want it.” Then starts... pushing back against him harder, losing sight of me again as she slams her hips against his, and he against hers.

Sweating in the humid back area of the barn, John is huskily panting as she stands there and lets Nick hump into her without restraint. Both are looking at me, but not seeing me, since they’re only thinking of... of fucking each other! Nick heaves up against her then and holds tight, as John’s eyes widen in shock and urgency. Then her eyes go liquid as a wet cry escapes her, at the feel of Nick’s seed pumping into her wide hips back there.

Nick looks a little guilty, but John’s face falls to indulgent gratitude, as the green pegasus mare relaxes into her impregnation. She fidgets on her hooves as his seed starts dripping out below her rump, and he’s cumming inside her, and I can’t stop squeezing—! I come to a squeaking climax, and when I manage to focus on John again, Nick’s still mounted on her. Seed from her passage slipping around his dick to puddle on the ground, John looks at me wistfully, murmuring in a pleased tone, “I...I did it.”

“Y-yeah, you did,” I say dazedly.

“I’m gonna do it again,” John says, closing her eyes.

“M-me too,” I shyly concur.

And so begins our strange relationship, where either John lets Nick impregnate me, or I let Nick impregnate John. And it’s a horrible idea, but seeing John so serene from getting ejaculated into, I can’t help but feel like it’s a very, very good idea.

As time goes by, I almost wish for the false Twilight that Sunset Shimmer may have beguiled me with. She was so... expressive. Not like she was out of control, but it was just nice feeling like she could relax around me. This Twilight is more mature, more... inhibited. She gets adorably embarassed at the slightest amount of lewdness, but if you keep pushing her, she starts to get angry about it.

I mean obviously, she’s coming from a kingdom like Equestria, suddenly being exposed to human society is going to give her some serious culture shock. But I just wish she could open up to us more, and not worry about what’s proper, or what Princess Celestia would think of her behavior. I guess it’s just part of who Twilight is as a pony, but it just feels like there’s something more to her besides just being polite and friendly.

What it is, I don’t know though.

One evening towards the end of the month, Twilight gathers a bunch of ponies including me and Nick. “Alright, now... we may have a bit of a crisis on our hooves,” she says reluctantly, ears low, “Our contact with the police has reported a... situation. Three ponies who escaped from the convention center have been spotted hiding in the house of a friend.”

Twilight paces before us in soft clops on the dirty wood floor, saying, “The authorities are still trying to decide what to do, but... it’s more along the lines of deciding whether to capture them, or... something more permanent than capture. Sunset’s attempt to ruin your lives has thankfully not spread to other humans outside the initial exposure, but I meant it when I said I would get everypony to safety.”

Facing us with as grim an expression as her cute pony face can adopt, Twilight says, “We need to gather a group, and extract these ponies before the authorities make their move, and unfortunately the exact timetable is outside of our awareness. I-it might not be entirely safe. We need to be prepared for a run-in with the police, so that we can settle things in a clean, nonviolent manner if it occurs. We’ll probably get the ponies out, long before any cops show up, but I don’t know what kind of surveillance they have on the residence.”

Twilight looks between me and Nick, saying, “What we’re going to do is get in, and get out. We’ll need the help of Nick and Meadowsweet here especially for that, because...” she smiles hopefully, “One of the ponies spotted has been a golden furred bat pony, with a mane and tail of orchid pink and greenish cerulean. You two may have said something about a...”

“Mira!” I declare in shock, “That’s what she changed into, is an orange batpony with a pink and—”

“Yes, so that’s why we need your help,” Twilight replies hastily, “If Mira recognizes you, it should help us get them to relative safety as quickly as possible.”

Nick and I aren’t the... first choices for people to do that sort of thing, but we get some help from the people who are working on that stuff. For my part, I’m pretty much healthy again, and eating like a—well, a horse. Hay isn’t... as bad as you’d think, but it definitely isn’t very filling compared to prepared food.

Nick’s got his magic working well enough, and that alone makes him pretty close to ideal for a rescue mission. Ideal is kind of the wrong word, when the bar is so low because we’re all completely clueless at being ponies, and not many of us are prepared for highly skilled, specialized things like rescue missions.

There’s very little rhyme or reason to the people who became ponies, outside of they were all at a My Little Pony convention for one reason or another. Some have search and rescue experience, others... have cooking experience, and not much else. Some were in security or other sort of fighty stuff, and a few were awarded soldiers. One actually is a soldier, just attending the convention on leave. But most of us are just... ponies, so it only takes a little pizazz for Nick to stand above the crowd.

Thankfully, I’m not the most agile anymore, since everypony’s had a chance to catch up to me. It’s really impressive what some of these ponies can achieve. We can jump no less than six feet straight up, which is freaking huge. That’s like twice my height! It doesn’t hold a candle to what pegasi can do though. I have to stare in absolute amazement at one point at a flock of the bat ponies and pegasi among us, just hanging out together... in the air. Anything from hovering to soaring seems to be in their capability, and I don’t really understand how wing beats come into it, but none of them are doing anything besides just flapping them. They didn’t even have to learn. It’s so easy it just sort of happens to them.

Well, getting startled up onto a rafter 12 feet overhead by rebounding off the wall is something that just sort of happened to me, but it’s not quite as effortless as they make it look. Nor as reproducible, for that matter. I swear the spider was like the size of a baseball, though! I can, however, climb most any walls with ease. It’d have to be a... really high wall, to keep a determined earth pony behind it.

Twilight personally gives me a crash course in magic hoofsies, which is just amazing. “Hey Meadowsweet! Catch,” she says at one point, throwing a golf ball at me. When I catch it, she yelps out, “Okay! Now wait, hold it, just try to think about what your forehoof is doing right now.”

I don’t want to say I have... vacuum hooves, but when I look at that little ball, and feel it... when I feel myself pulling the ball into my own hoof, I can’t really understand what’s going on, but it’s a little stronger than just the force of sheer belief. That’s really the key to climbing walls, is with a running start you can actually latch onto the wall itself to pull you up higher. It’s not exactly walking vertically, but if I can keep my upward momentum going... I don’t know what my limits would be. I’m sensibly afraid to try climbing the outside of the barn to stand on the roof. If I had wings, sure. But as-is, I’ll stick to jumping fences, and climbing trees.

Oh, climbing trees is a lot of fun. Getting back down isn’t though, as I discover for about a half hour one afternoon, until somepony comes along and finds me.

So I spend a day of mostly... agility training, and I guess a sort of meditation? Twilight doesn’t really explain it, or as she says, she can’t explain it, but it’s important to go into any tense situation relaxed, and closing your eyes and stilling to calm your mind... well, it feels nice at any rate. Feels like I’m... grounded, go figure. Connected with everything around me, the earth, the wind, the trees, the other ponies... it’s all sensation coming into my body, and that sensation is a sort of connection, if that makes any sense?

It feels different than trying to meditate as a human, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

Really, it’s a miracle that pegasi are in the air at all. Twilight has no wings, just an ordinary unicorn as if season 3 never happened. That makes her... less than qualified to instruct us non-unicorns in how to handle our non-unicorniness. I feel a lot more confident on my hooves at least, and more... warm hearted towards the people around me. I just feel stronger, more empowered, with the warm thoughts of how I could fit in with them all, making my presence a blessing, rather than a burden. Not just Nick, but Batty, and Charger and Danielle, and John, and...

John is certainly one of the ones thinking of using a different name, because seriously. Calling her John is just... awkward. I’m lucky Twilight—um—Sunset changed my name. It’s so awkward to call a mare Bruce, or a stallion, Gladys. Everyone didn’t just switch sexes, fortunately, but a lot of people did, and now their names don’t fit. That’d be a special kind of spiteful I think, if everyone who changed into a pony ended up as the opposite sex.

The reality is more like three quarters of the guys became mares, a quarter of the girls became stallions, and everyone else stayed the same gender. But... y’know... nobody remembers the statistics. Everyone remembers the hunk of a stallion named Gladys, who’s so nervous about showing off his package, because... well yeah.

With one solid half a month of Twilight’s training, this crisis comes up. Three ponies, including Mira, holed up in a house somewhere, sitting ducks for Sunset Shimmer or the cops to descend upon them. Twilight helps us prepare though. She helps me with magic hoofsies, and shows Nick a rather kickass stunning spell (or nerve damper as Twilight puts it). Other ponies learn other things too, and the next evening, a bunch of us crowd into the van, and one of the humans (the one who owns the farm) drives us off.

I probably should be... hanging around the actual humans more. I know one of their names is Dave, at least. I don’t really know them though, and there aren’t very many of them... and I’m just so excited about all things pony that I have to learn. It was actually not Twilight, but a pink and white bat pony going by the name of Curlique, who found this farm. She escaped the compound during the night thanks to... well, wings, and sought the help of someone in a nearby town. They knew a guy who knew a guy, who led everyone to this relatively remote location. Or so the story goes.

Our van is unmarked, painted a plain blue this time, thanks to Twilight’s color changing spell. The license plates are completely blank, but Twilight casts an illusion over them that makes it look like they have normal license plate numbers. Anyone who sees it won’t be alarmed, but any cameras that take a picture of it... okay I really don’t know how illusions work, but apparently cameras photograph the illusion, but when the illusion fades... it does in the photos too. I don’t know all the details about how we’re concealing ourselves, but some of this stuff is pretty freaking amazing.

We again travel for hours down the road, singing to help pass the time. It’s... strange how easy it is to sing along with a song. It just comes naturally to me now. Someone starts singing a song about fireflies, and I just... sing what needs to be sung. Harmony is strong in the back of our van, and we collapse into giddy laughter more than once, because it just feels so good to work together like this. Being a pony is turning out to be kind of... scarily awesome.

Author's Notes:

I’d write about what they sung, but using copyrighted song lyrics is forbidden, on a website where people publish stories infringing on Hasbro’s trademarks.

...

I GET KNOCKED—