Author's Notes:

Well, time for a self-insert! I suppose I need to get it all out of the system. I hope you enjoy it. Also, blowing your mind:

What if a new universe is created just for you where you don't die? Think of the times when you were in danger, when you could, in fact, end up dead. What if you did die but you still kept on living in a different universe?

The mind-blowing thing presented here was written thanks to a friend of mine who thought about it in the first place.

P.S. if you came here to troll, to call me edgy or things like that, you should go away because that sort of attitude isn't welcome. I'm open to constructive criticism, but blatant insults isn't the way to go.

It was a winter day, just at the end of the first month of the year 2018. The sky was clear, the air was still. A lone figure was moving through the street. It was empty, devoid of people during the early hours of the day. The figure walked calmly albeit slowly, its eyes looking at the ground. Deep into a forest, buried beneath the snow and earth, was a stash that the human made. He would never need it but he couldn't simply destroy its contents. Even though that stash would no longer matter soon, it still mattered to him in a way that was not practical at all. However, he didn't care. He wouldn't need to care about anything anymore very soon.

Finally, he reached the house. With a few beeps, the door opened, letting him inside the entrance. Ascending the stairs, he came to the second floor. After a few turns of the keys, the door to his apartment opened. A cat came to him, meowing. A small smile appeared on his face as he squatted to pet the cat a few times. Then the human took off his winter jacket, scarf, and hat, putting them in the wardrobe. Kicking the boots off, he proceeded into his room.

His room was a mess. Computer parts were lying around chaotically, a few drawers were opened, a few weeks worth of trash like bottles and quick noodles bowls littering the floor. He sighed, taking off his clothes and throwing them in the pile, but taking his smartphone first and opening a Discord app. Then he picked up a small, unremarkable piece of paper that had been torn from a notebook. He glanced at the writing, his final message to those that were supposed to take care of him but, unfortunately, failed:

You should've helped me when I asked. It is too late now!

He remembered each time he asked his parents to help him. Each time, they didn't or offered solutions that didn't solve anything, only pushing him deeper into issues and problems. Fortunately for him, he wouldn't have to experience it anymore very soon.

He walked out of his room and went to the bathroom. Before entering it, he stuffed the piece of paper between the handle and the door, making sure it would stand there. The bath was full, and an exposed cord was lying nearby along with a socket extender. The human looked at the items. and he was ready to take it. He needed to do something first, however.

"Suicide is badass." he typed, letting out a chuckle, and sent the message to his server for everyone to see. It was a simple joke to make others feel better, for even during times like this, he didn't lose his weird sense of humor. However, he had to be more serious. A few seconds later, another two messages followed, each containing a single sentence: "I think I'm ready. Removing discord." he sighed and then went to the settings of his phone. No one must find out about his other, internet life. They didn't care before, after all.

Reset to factory settings?

Yes

As his phone started deleting data, he placed it on the washing machine. He closed and locked the door to the bathroom and finally took off his underwear, throwing it in the laundry bin. Exposed, he shivered slightly, but he knew it would end soon.

He remembered the night before. He lay in his bed, crying his heart out, remembering all the things that led him to that moment. Early childhood, school, later years, and his last one, eighteenth year. He would cry until it was too late to get any sleep. Very early in the morning, he got up and disassembled his computer. He waited until his parents departed to work so that he could carry out his plan without interruption.

Back from his memories, he looked at his devices again. They were there, the instruments of his death. They looked harmless, they were unmoving and silent, and yet it seemed like they stared at him with judgment. Many other people with worse lives struggled on, continued to live despite everything, and yet there he was, standing nude, preparing to kill himself. However, they didn't know the storm of emotions that was raging inside him.

The young man got inside the bathtub. The water was warm, slightly salty, and to him, it was just right. It was the best bath he had had in years, even though he was too big for it. He grabbed the exposed cord, connected it to the socket extender. After a second of thinking, he closed his eyes and dropped both into the bathtub.

For a fraction of a second, there was nothing. The young man was exhaling, ready for death, no hesitation left, no doubts remaining, and with no regrets in his mind. He only had one thing in his mind — a desire to die and be over with his life. Suddenly, his eyes shot open as electricity crackled through the water, the pain quickly growing in his limbs. His suicide was not going as planned, he realized. The pain didn't cease and only grew and grew, quickly spreading across his body. The human screamed like he had never screamed before, pain making his voice crack, torturing him like nothing before did.

He grabbed the socket extender, and for a mere moment, he thought of throwing it away. However, his determination to die outweighed his fear. He couldn't stop — he must do it, go through with it to the end. Nothing flashed before his eyes, there was just pain, the suffering, and misery. He knew his life wouldn't get better if he stopped.

The human pressed the socket extender against his chest. The pain peaked, making his body twitch violently as his eyes rolled to the back of his head, tears streaming down his face, his mouth wide open in an inhuman scream. It was nothing like ever before in his life, it was the biggest physical pain he had ever felt.

Despite the pain it caused him, he held the extender close to his chest, pressing it with great force, almost cracking his own ribs. He was losing control of his body but his will to die outweighed the self-preservation instinct, only making him press harder.

And then he felt it. The pain deep in his chest, right where his heart was. His scream stopped, stuck somewhere in his throat, his eyes opening widely once again. The beating of his heart stopped, the organ was only trembling as the electricity went through it, disrupting its work, killing it.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the human lost consciousness. The light of life dimmed in his eyes, slowly fading away as he stared into nothing, his mouth agape. It would be another minute before irreversible brain damage set in, and another minute for him to finally die.

However, his lifeless body would continue to twitch until much, much later. Its heat would slowly fade away, the warmth of the water disappearing with it.

He was dead.

There was nothing. Plain, black, featureless, empty. No smell, sound, color, surface, an absolute lack of feel. A void of nothing at all.

He could still think. He was still there. Was it what death is like for everyone? Just an empty void? It felt... strange. His mind was in a disarray, covered by a dream-like mist. He knew he was there but where was it? When was it? How was it? He couldn't say, both literally and figuratively. Would he stay like that forever? He didn't know. There was nothing to perceive and yet his brain could conjure up nothing. How did he even think if his brain died? He had some hopes for an afterlife but he didn't believe it existed. After all, dreams of that nature were impossible to prove real. So, was it the end? Just nothing? Why could he still remember himself? Shouldn't he simply cease to exist? At the very least, he felt no pain.

If this void was everything that was left for him, then... Nothing. There was nothing to expect. Nothing to hope for. Nothing to fear or avoid. There was just that, nothing. He would go insane if he still could. But there was nothing. No feel, no emotion. He knew he felt, he knew there was something of him, but what? Where? How was it even stored?

Suddenly, he felt a pull. A pull from where? What or who was pulling him? How was it possible? There were many questions that couldn't be answered. The pull strengthened but he didn't move. At least he thought so. How could he move if there was nothing to move? Moving is always relative, is it not? So, to move somewhere, he must be relative to something. But there was nothing. When he walked, he used the ground as a relative point. Same was when he was on a bus or a train. But without all of it, how could he move?

Suddenly, he felt something that resembled a warmth of some kind. Familiar and at the same time not, different feelings entered his mind, flooding it. He was surrounded by something he couldn't quite describe. A steady beat resonated inside his mind.

Thump, thump. Thump, thump.

Was it his own heart? If so, how could it be? He died. His heart couldn't beat.

Thump, thump. Thump, thump.

It was still there, coming from every direction. But where are the directions in nothing? Was he even in nothing anymore? The void became a very dark pink. Would he listen to the beat again and again? What was that beat?

He could only wait.

Very far away from Earth, a pair of ponies were visiting a doctor. One of them was a lunar pegasus stallion and the other was a unicorn mare. The mare had a noticeable belly, and the stallion was smiling widely. Both of them didn't seem to notice a slight frown of the doctor as he looked at some pictures. Pictures of a foal inside the mare.

"I have news for you," the doctor finally said, looking up to meet the gaze of the mother. He sighed internally and then said: "The foal... something unusual is happening to him."

The smiles faltered as the two ponies looked worriedly at the doctor.

"I don't know whether what is happening to the foal is good or bad," he was quick to add in hopes of calming the pair down. "I've not seen anything like this before... His brain is developing in a very unusual manner."

"So, what does it mean?" the mother asked quietly, fearing the answer.

"All I can say is that this colt will be psychologically different from everyone," the doctor paused, glancing at the pictures. "Although, how much different and in what way, I cannot say. Time will tell." he looked away from the pair for a second. "On a more positive note, your foal is still completely healthy."

"This is good to know." the mare nodded slowly. "Thank you, doctor."

Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

Was the beat faster or was there something else? He couldn't tell. He had been there for a long time, listening to the strange beat, trying to determine what it was, busying his mind with something. Many theories bounced around his head but he wasn't satisfied with them. He needed a concrete answer, he needed to know the truth.

Thump, thump. Thump, thump.

The beat slowed down. Why was it faster? Why did it become slower? What was it that caused it all to happen? He had so many questions but they were left unanswered once again. At the very least, he felt the warmth, and it felt good to have it. The memories of his suicide were fresh in his head. The sound of crackling, the pain, the scream, it was all there, repeating inside his head as he thought about it over and over again.

It turned out that his death wasn't the end. Or was it? He couldn't move even though he felt he had limbs. He couldn't breathe even though he felt he was already doing it.

He felt something. Warmth, some movement. But what was it? Was it him or was it someone else? Again, many unanswered questions. The trend continued and he didn't know when it'd stop and he would finally understand what was going on.

He would often fall into darkness. There was no beat but it wasn't complete nothingness. He dreamt of things. Not memories, not nightmares, just things. It was random, out of logic, out of reason, completely chaotic, but it was something. Not his usual dreams, but there were no usual dreams in the first place.

And he dreamt again. However, now it was a starlit sky. Thousands of thousands of stars glowed, sending their light to him from many lightyears away. Many of those stars might not even exist anymore, but their light was their legacy, and it would still be there for a very long time. No matter how old he would become, the stars would outlive him. He was but a speck of stardust, an atom compared to the vast universe that the humanity had only begun to explore. Infinite possibilities, infinite ways, and all of them out of reach.

The human was floating among the stars, adoring them, basking in their pale light. It was calming, it was serene. The stars were small, but in truth they were much larger than him, they just were very far away. And yet, they gave him light and warmth, a feeling of comfort as if he was lying in the softest bed imaginable.

Suddenly, he saw a figure flying through the stars, disrupting the peace and calm of the scenery. It was a slightly familiar shape but it was shrouded in darkness, seemingly evading him, out of his clear sight.

"Who are you?" he whispered, extending a hoof. It didn't surprise him, no. It was all a dream, and he was going along with it.

The figure stopped. The human felt it was looking right at him with surprise. He also felt that it was friendly, it didn't want to hurt him. It got closer to him, a shape coming out of the darkness.

Then it struck him. He knew who it was. However, he thought it would be impossible to see her in reality. He felt his eyes widen as he took in the features of the one in front of him. Equine shape, a coat of gentle blue, a starlit mane and tail, a moon mark on the flank, and a pair of aqua eyes, looking at him with interest and a hint of worry.

"Princess L-Luna?" he stuttered in shock. Even if it were a dream, he had never seen her before. However, he was glad he was looking at her now. Then, a tear escaped his eyes. He reached out, trying to speak louder: "Please... help me."

Without anyone to give him comfort in life, he had an only hope of getting it in his dreams. And there it was, his chance. Real or not, it was better than nothing.

He willed himself to fly towards her, extending his hooves further, reaching out to his favorite princess, hoping for comfort and warmth. He looked into his eyes, hoping to see acceptance or at the very least tolerance. He needed her, especially at that time of his life.

"Luna..." he whispered, continuing his flight to her but it seemed like he couldn't reach her as if he was stuck in place. "P-please..." more tears flowed as his glistening eyes looked at the Princess of the Night, and in his eyes was desperation.

"I see your pain." she finally said, making a single step towards the young man, covering all the distance between them. "I can help you." she reached out, grabbing him and pulling him closer for a hug. His body shivered as it came into contact with hers, feeling her warmth and her fur. He didn't hesitate to hug her back as tears continued to flow.

"T-thank you..." he said, his voice trembling as he sobbed. He inhaled sharply, but he let his tears flow freely. He thought that he could trust Luna. No matter if it was all in his head or not, she was the one he would always turn to. He opened his eyes and looked at her. "W-what will happen to me?"

"What do you mean?" Luna asked him with confusion in her voice.

"Are you... real?" he said quietly, fearing that everything would disappear, taking the friendly alicorn away. He forced himself to remain calm, he knew that dreams could end easily, and he clung to this one dream.

"I am," she replied, nodding. "Why are you asking?"

"I don't know what is happening..." he replied. "I... I am supposed to be dead. But I'm not," he paused to breathe in, recollecting his thoughts. "I... I... I have no idea what anything is," he looked up at the princess and admitted: "I n-need help..."

"I don't know what happened to you, but you are safe now," Luna assured him, lightly patting him on the back. "I will help you, but we need to start somewhere first. What is your name?"

"I..." he paused to think. He hated the name his parents gave him, he hated everything associated with it. But now, he had a choice, he could finally choose who he was. And he knew what name defined him. "I am Elu."

"Glad to formally meet you, Elu," the princess smiled at him. "I will help you. Once I am back in the waking world, I will search for you."

"Are w-we in the Dreamscape?" Elu asked with uncertainty. If they indeed were, then it meant that...

"Yes, we are," Luna nodded, confirming his thoughts.

For a moment, happiness overtook him. He was in Equestria, he must be! Otherwise, why would he be in the Dreamscape? Why would he meet Princess Luna? It all made sense now. Somehow, he managed to reach Equestria. Now he needed to find a way into the real world. He could finally be someone he wanted to be, a pony among ponies! No more humans, no more Earth!

He didn't know what to say to the princess, however. Could he tell her about his origins? Would she accept the fact that he used to be a human? Even though he threw his human identity away, it didn't mean that he suddenly became someone else. He was still him.

"I see you have much to think about, Elu," Luna pulled him out of his thoughts. "I will make your dreams peaceful. You need to rest. However, I will be here for you when you need me," she lit her horn. "The help you were waiting for is coming."

And with that being said, Elu fell into a deep and relaxing slumber. For some time, he wouldn't have to worry.

Early in the morning, Princess Luna was gliding through the skies, her horn glowing slightly as she searched for the one she had met while browsing the Dreamscape. She was closer and closer to him, she felt it. The magical beacon she had put on him was working well, and soon she would reach it.

She flew above the fields and forests, the signal growing closer and making her anxious. Just whom had she met? Elu was unlike anything she had seen before. However, she felt his pain, his loneliness, his desire for companionship and more. Something terrible had happened to him, she felt it, but what?

"I am supposed to be dead."

What did it mean? It pointed towards something more than could be seen at first and it raised so many questions that were yet to be answered. However, Luna feared that it might be too late if she waited longer. She must hurry lest she might find it too late to do anything to help the poor colt.

She could see a small village standing near a river. It was much like Ponyville but not as big, although the fields nearby were transformed into thriving farmlands. It wasn't unlike many other villages spread across Equestria, growing food for all the country to feed on. During the early morning, the streets of the small village were already bustling with life. Ponies were trotting to their jobs, the farmers were tending to their various crops, and overall, life seemed like usual.

However, Luna could sense a troubled mind within the village, and she had to find the one with it to help him. She saw Elu in the dreamscape, and to her, he looked like a foal. While she wasn't a mother, the Alicorn of the Night had the duty to protect the dreams of ponies, and the ones who needed her utmost attention were foals. They were just stepping into a larger world, and they needed all the help and guidance they could get.

She landed softly near a house that caught her attention. The signal was the strongest there, coming from inside the two-storey building. Ponies glanced at their princess, bowed to her, but she paid them no mind. She had more important matters to attend to than greetings. She raised her hoof and knocked on the door twice. Soon, steps were heard from behind it, and the door opened, revealing a lunar pegasus. His green eyes widened as he saw who was at the entrance and bowed.

"I have urgent matters to attend to, commander Stellares," Luna was quick to say before the stallion could even open his mouth. "In the Dreamscape, I encountered a distressed foal. Everything points to this place as his location."

"W-we do have a foal, your majesty, but he isn't born yet," Stellares explained, then cleared his throat. "He's a few months away from it."

A pause ensued as Luna looked at the stallion in puzzlement and confusion. Meanwhile, he stepped aside, allowing the princess to enter.

"This is certainly... odd," she commented, gathering her thoughts. "May I see your wife?"

"I will ask her right away," the stallion nodded, going deeper inside the house.

Luna frowned slightly. Things were getting more and more complicated with each moment.

Thump, thump. Thump, thump.

The usual noise of a beat was there to greet him when he woke up. He remembered the dream, but... was it even a dream? However, he felt something that was vaguely familiar, something very much like what he experienced in his odd dream.

It was a presence. It was close to him, and it wished him no harm. Was it Princess Luna? Elu could hear voices but the words were foreign to him and they seemed to be very far away and muffled. Unbeknownst to him, his ear twitched and turned slightly, trying to catch what was being said. However, understanding didn't come to him, he could make no sense out of the spoken words.

Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

The beat increased again. Why did it happen, what was the cause? Should he panic and try to escape or should he wait it out? Without the knowledge of what was happening, either action could result in a disaster. Knowing his luck, it was better to not act lest he would cause something that would make his situation even worse.

But how worse could it get? He had already hit the bottom. Like a pile of rocks thrown into the ocean, he had no way of swimming up to the surface. He was just as dead as those rocks. For all he knew, he was lying in a coma, his damaged brain producing realistic illusions and hallucinations that he would never be able to separate from truth.

Was it all real or not? He would find out soon, even though it was unknown to him as of yet.

Through many nights, his sleep remained undisturbed. He felt like whatever he was in slightly shrunk around him. Or maybe he became a bit bigger? He didn't know, he couldn't know it without a relative point. He couldn't open his eyes even if he tried. He had little control over whatever body he was in.

The Lunar Alicorn had shown up more in his dreams, comforting him in his darkest times, making sure he wasn't alone. He was grateful but he had no idea if it were real or not. Even after the explanation given by Luna, he was still skeptical. Being reborn? While he did dream of it on many occasions, he had never thought it could be real or even possible.

"Are souls real?" he remembered asking Luna.

"They are," she replied. "Though, we don't know where they go after death. So far, there has been no proof of them existing outside of a host, be it living or magical." she paused, looking at him. "However, you seem to be the proof of souls existing well outside any possible host. This... darkness you described, do you think souls go there after they die?"

"I have no idea," he admitted honestly. "It... could be so, but... I might be an exception," he sighed. "I really doubt that, though..."

"I see," Luna nodded in understanding. "However, I am glad this happened to you, Elu," she smiled at him. "I think you will like it here."

"I think I will," he replied, a small smile of his own touching his lips. "But..." his smile faltered. "So many things could go wrong. Knowing my luck, they will..."

"I will make it certain that they won't," Luna assured him. "Would you like to meet me once you are born?"

"Yes!" he exclaimed but found himself blushing soon after. "Um, if it's not much trouble..."

"No, not at all," the princess replied. "You will be welcome, Elu."

He held these early memories of his new life close. He had already befriended Luna! At least he thought so, and he was afraid of being wrong, especially in this case. He wanted to become friends with her but he feared it was impossible. Not everything would go how he wanted it to. His life wasn't the story he was writing, he had no control over things he desired.

Elu wondered if his fiction was being finished. If it was, then how? He remembered giving clear direction, but was the one he trusted following them? Did he even trust the right person to finish what he started? He would never know it, unfortunately. He had to realize that whatever he had done in his life was gone, and frankly, he didn't want to return.

And even if he stayed, what would it change? No one would magically appear before him to comfort him, nobody would come to him to make him feel better. His life would continue like it was but with another suicide attempts on his hands, not carried out to the end.

Fortunately for him, this one resulted in his death, taking him away from the world he so hated. But would he like the new world? The future was undecided and uncertain, and he knew it. Many things could go wrong, be it either small things like his life or the bigger things like Equestria itself or the world surrounding it. Where would he be born? He had no choice in regards to that once again.

But maybe, just maybe, he would get something better out of the very unusual situation he found himself in.