I made my way down the road towards the library to return the books the kids borrowed, I just hope Twilight doesn't notice the torn page on the Daring Do book. Oh who am I kidding, she'll know the second I bring it in! Okay, here's what I'll do. I'll bury the books, set the hole on fire, and cruise down to Tijuana for three months. Or I could just pay the small one-bit fee, either one works. As I weighed my options, I saw Spike come out to get the mail. " Hey, Spike. How's it going?"

" Can't complain. Just taking it one day at a time." We made our way inside while he flipped through the letters. " Let's see. Bill, bill, subscription to Playcolt magazine, save that for later. Oh, Twilight. I got that letter from Cadance." As soon as he said that, Twilights magic snatched the letter from him. " Hmph, rude."

Twilight took the letter and read it through. When she reached the end, her expression brightened immeasurably. " Yes! Cadance can come down for a visit! This is the best news ever!" She then saw who was in the room with her. " Hey... hehe. How long have you been standing there?"

" The whole time. So, Cadance is coming down for a visit, that's cool. What about Shining, is he coming along too?" I asked while putting the books on the counter.

" I don't know, let me check." She re-read the letter to see if she had missed that detail. " It doesn't say." From upstairs, Swagger made his way down and towards Twilight. When Twilight saw him, she immediately pounced on him. " Swagger, great news. Cadance is coming over for a visit! Isn't that great?"

Swagger slowly pried her off before answering. " It sure is. Does that mean I have to be on my best behavior?"

" Only if you want any lovin' the night after." She sent him a wink his way with a sultry smile.

She would've continued that line of speech had Fluttershy not come in. " Hello, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Twilight squeaked and faced her yellow friend. " Oh, I can come back later."

" No, it's fine. They can always continue their talk later tonight. So what brings you by Shy?"

" Oh, I just got the most interesting news, I just had to tell someone." She reached into her bag and brought out a letter which I took a hold of. " The Equestrian Society for the Preservation of Rare Creatures has given me permission to observe the rarest, tiniest, most adorable magical creatures in all of Equestria, the Breezies!" She was so excited, she started dancing on her hoof-tips.

" Well, that does sound important and I hope you have a good time," I told her while giving her letter back. As soon as the parchment left my hand, the door behind me burst open and flattened me to the ground. " Can I assume that Pinkie was the one to do that?" I lifted the door off me to see that Pinkie was bouncing around the room. " Point to me. What's going on Pinks?"

" I just received the most important piece of mail in the history of the world!" She then pulled out a flyer for all of us to see. " It's a flyer for a half-off sale on used patio furniture! Isn't that great!?"

" Pinkie, you rent, and you don't even have a patio."

" I know, but it's half off!" I just shook my head and let the door fall on me again.

The next day.

All of us were at the train station to see Fluttershy off for her adventure. The train made it's way to a stop and we started saying goodbye to our animal-loving friend. " Here's a wrap in case you get cold darling." Rarity went ahead and put a small blanket in Shy's saddlebag.

Jackie placed a basket of apples for her. " Here's a nice bushel of fresh apples in case you get hungry. I had some fritters for you as well, but somebody got hungry on the way here." She directed a dirty look at me.

" (Burp) Tell ya what, you stop making such delicious fritters and I'll stop eating them."

Twilight continued the send-off. " Have a great time." She told her while adjusting Shy's hat with her magic.

" Oh, I will. And I hope you have fun with Cadance!" The train let out a whistle signaling departure time. Shy grabbed the basket and boarded while the Conductor called for everyone to board. When the train started to move, Fluttershy waved to us from the caboose. " Goodbye! Goodbye, everybody!"

As we all waved goodbye, Pinkie decided to go the extra mile. " Wait!" Pinkie lept onto the track and ran right behind the train. " We'll never forget youuuuuu!" When she could no longer keep up with the train, she stopped, and then got distracted by a balloon that floated by.

While Pinkie came back with the balloon, a flash went off behind us. " Did I miss it?" Discord had appeared to say goodbye as well, but it would appear he came a little late. " Crap! I missed it. How will I ever cope without her?"

" I got a twelve-pack back at the house."

" That'll do." His mood quickly perks up. " So, when's Cadance supposed to get here?"

" In a few minutes. I've really been looking forward to spending some quality time with her. I just hope nothing goes wrong."

" Why would it? It's just a one-day visit and knowing you, I'm pretty sure you have a plan already." She was about to go into a lecture, but I quickly stopped it. " We don't need to hear it, just have a good time."

Off in the distance, another train made it's way over, though this one looked very different. For one thing, it only had three cars connected to the engine, moved at a much faster speed than any of the normal trains, and to top it off, it was made of crystal. Guess that's the train from the Empire. When the brakes were applied, it made a sound like knives on a chalkboard as it came to a stop.

While we cleaned our ears of that awful sound, the car to the front opened up where a red carpet opened up with two crystal guards coming out. Another second or two, the door opens again, and outcomes Cadence, looking as regal as ever. Twilight went to greet her, but then Cadance went all protocol on us. " Your Highness." She made a bow making everyone but Swagger and me follow suit.

" Ya, done?" Cadance smirked and rushed over to Twilight and brought her into a bone-crushing hug. We all laughed at the display and greeted Cadance. "It's good to see you Cadance." Jackie and I gave her a quick hug before I pointed over to the train. " You need to rethink your mode of transportation, or at the very least put some oil on the wheels."

" See, I told you he'd say something about the train." Inside the train, another body came out to reveal itself as Shining Armor. " How's everybody doing?"

" Shining!" Twilight zipped over to her brother and hugged him. " Why didn't you write that you were coming?"

" We decided to keep that a surprise. Besides, this is meant to be yours and Cadance's day. I just came along to get out of the Empire and do something different." At the mention of Shining not joining his wife and sister, gave me a great idea.

" Well if that's the case, why don't you come along with Discord, Swagger, and me? I'm sure we can find something to do?" Shining shared a look with his wife and sister silently asking permission which they nodded to.

" Yeah, that sounds pretty good actually." He gave Twilight a hug and Cadance a kiss before following our lead.

Before we could step off the station, I was grabbed in Cadance's magic while Swagger was brought over in Twilight's. Cadance made me face her and she had a serious expression. " Before you four go and do whatever it is you're going to do, I need you to make me a promise." She brought Shining over and put him between Twilight and herself. " I want you to promise me that you'll keep an eye on my husband and not let him get into trouble."

" And you mister, you make sure my brother stays in one piece," Twilight told Swagger in a half-serious half playful manner.

I chuckled at the treatment and patted Shinning on the shoulder. " Don't you two worry about a thing. We'll take good care of this idiot."

" If anything, Shinning here will most likely keep us out of trouble." Swagger pointed out while giving Twilight a little pet under her chin.

Satisfied with our answer, the two alicorns let us go and went to their planned activity. With them heading off to who knows where I turned to the girls. " Well, I guess I'll see you around. Honey, I'll meet you back at the house after a while." I sent her off with a kiss and I left the station with my companions. " So, what should we do?" Now that we had a moment to think about it, we had no idea what to do.

After a few moments of silence, Discord came up with something. " Why don't we head over to Berry's bar for some drinks?"

Most of us agreed to the idea, though Shining looked skeptical. " I don't know guys, I mean it's only half-past twelve."

I hooked him by his neck and led him to the town's watering hole. " It's five o'clock somewhere. Besides, I don't hear you coming up with any ideas." Seeing my point, he goes along with the plan to get plastered in the afternoon.

https://youtu.be/7wdOqAxYGis

We entered through the door of Ponyville's favorite, and only, watering hole, Berry's bar. A quick look around the room showed us that this place was dead save for the jukebox playing, not surprising seeing as most of the regulars don't come in until four. We found ourselves a table near the back where Berry sought to our thirst. " Alright, boys. What'll it be?"

I started the rotation. " I'll have a mug of your house draft and chips and salsa for the table." If only they had creamy jalapeno.

Swagger went next. " I'll take a double shot of rum and cola and a separate shot of whiskey."

Discord was next. " I'll take a short trip to hell, right after I get this sand out of my crack." He laughed his ass off while Berry just rolled her eyes at the dumb joke and wrote it down.

Shining was the last to order. " I'll just have a diet cola." The music scritched to a halt as we all looked at him. He noticed us staring at him and he started to get uncomfortable. " What?"

" Maybe you haven't noticed, but this is a bar, not a soda shop. Now order a real drink before I swat you upside the head." A little extreme, but we're here to get our drink on.

After giving the menu a quick look, he reordered. " I'll take a gin and tonic." Better, but not by much. Berry left to get our drinks and food leaving us to talk amongst ourselves. " So, how have things been with you guys?"

Discord took this opportunity to boast about something crazy. " Well, I went and visited Canterlot yesterday and visited Celestia. Apparently, I popped in while she was mediating between two con artists and a couple of hippies over a cart. I suggested they cut the cart in half, but then the hippies freaked out and said it would make the cart useless. However, it was thanks to their freak out that they won the cart back from the cons."

" Well, I got sucked into a comic book, uncovered a fake in the fashion world, and helped coach the athletes for Herot." Swagger summarized his view of our adventures just as our drinks and chips arrived. " But most of my time is taken up by drilling the recruits for the scout/sniper unit and the library. Although, Twilight and I did go on a date last week." Shining had a bit of an eye-twitch at that last one.

" Well, I did the first three things he just said, seeing how I was there with him. But other than that, Discord and I took care of a bat problem on the farm, found out that Pinkie is a distant relative to Jackie, and the boys are becoming real experts with their weapons." Suddenly I remember something the boys told me while at school. " I do have one problem though. Apparently, some of the colts in their class have been eyeing Scootaloo, Sweetie, and Applebloom. Now, with Sweetie and Bloom, I'll leave it to their parents, but with Scoots, I've got a real problem." The guys leaned further in to listen better. " I know that at some point, Scoots will be interested in colts her own age and I'm fine with that. But the question here is, how do I protect her from the wrong kind of colt?"

Shining raised a brow at that. " And what do you mean by 'The wrong kind of colt'?"

" I mean the kind that's not going to go from the first date to getting her in bed the same day." The guys nodded their heads while I drank two-thirds of my beer in one gulp. " I trust Scoots and even my boys to do the right thing when they start dating, but I need to make sure the ones they're dating keep in line. Any suggestions?"

Shining oddly enough spoke up first. " If you want to keep a colt in line when dating your daughter all you have to do is look intimidating, and with you, it won't be hard." Don't know if that was a jab or a compliment.

" Yeah man, just walk into the room wolfed out and smear something red on your face, that'll intimidate Scootaloos date." Discord suggested after sipping from his glass.

" No, it'll scare the crap out of the boy and most likely ruin Scootaloo's chance at ever having a date while living with her family!" Swagger seemed to be thinking rationally. " Listen, just meet the boy at the door and be friendly and straight to the point on what will happen if he hurts Scootaloo in any way."

I rolled their advice in my head for a bit before I smiled, satisfied with the given knowledge. " Thanks, guys. Just for the advice, drinks are on me."

This caused Discord to spit out his drink. " You mean it wasn't before?" We chuckled at Discords cheapness and ordered another round.

Two hours later. I think?

The four of us were still at the bar with a good buzz going between us. During times of intoxication between friends, damn near anything can come out of our mouths. " So, for whatever reason, this fool thinks it's a good idea to go to a strip club, the day before we officially graduate Boot." We all laughed at Swagger's story about our time on Paris island. " So we wind up in a sports-themed club and Tex here, volunteers to be the one to wrestle the girls in the mud."

" Hold on now, that's not what happened. They practically begged me to come up there against those four fine ladies. I put down fifty dollars that I could get each of their bras within three minutes. It took me less than a minute to accomplish that feat. At the end of the night, we were back in our bunks, cleaned of all that mud and stripper smell, with no one being the wiser." Swagger and I shared a clap at the memory of that night.

" Damn. You guys had a wild time. I wish my younger years were half as interesting as yours."

" Oh come on. You're a unicorn from Canterlot, you dated an alicorn princess in high school from what Twilight says, and you climbed through the ranks in the royal guard. How is that not exciting?"

" My climb through my career was due to a mixture of having Twilight being Celestia's number one student and the fact that the ranking officers were either incompetent or being bribed by Blueblood and his followers. Thanks for revealing that by the way." I raised my glass in acknowledgment. " And as far as my early relationship with Cadance, I mean it was pretty good I have no complaints. But I just wish we could have been a little more open with each other. For Celestia's sake, we didn't even have sex until our honeymoon." The rest of us spit our drinks out hearing that bombshell.

" Hold on a second! I caught you in Cadance's room with whipped cream." Discord told him, making him blush a little.

" Yeah! Yeah, I remember stopping at her room on Hearts and Hooves Day and it looked like you two were in the middle of fucking like rabbits." This made his cheeks grow redder.

" Well, we never really went all the way those times. I mean, we'll fool around with our hooves or mouths, but we waited to go all the way once we were married."

" Let me get this straight. Other than the fact you lived most of your life as a virgin, but the princess and alicorn of love, was giving out love advice and tips on how to score, and she ain't never been laid till after you two tied the knot?" Shining processed my words before nodding yes. " Fuck, I don't know whether or not that was good luck or false advertising."

" Whatever dude. So, Swagger, you treating my sister right?"

" Of course I treat her right. The fact of the matter is, I treat her like a princess." After hearing that, Discord and I laughed and nearly spilled our drinks. " What's so funny?"

" The part about treating her like a princess." I then pointed to everyone around the table. " Everyone at this table has been in the presence of a princess with varying degrees of spent time. For example, Discord here likes to pull the occasional prank on Celestia. As for Shining and me, we treat our wives as if they were the most precious being in all of existence, though I do tend to mess around with Jackie and Luna a little."

" Well, I don't really pull pranks on her, though I do indulge her with a few jokes. As far as the other thing, we do love each other and share the same bed," Again, I see Shining's eye twitch. " but we're not exactly joined at the hip if you know what I mean."

" Hey, you two are just dating. Can't expect much until you sling her a ring." Shining immediatley spat out his drink and started coughing. " Aw calm the fuck down you simple minded prick. It ain't like Twilight doesn't know what she's doing."

" Shut up man! Look, I know Twilight isn't a virgin and that she wasn't one when Swagger came along." Swagger tried to ignore the conversation and hid behind his drink. " But that doesn't mean I want to talk about my sister that way."

" Alright, cool your jets now, this ain't nothing but healthy conversation among friends over some drinks. Now, if we can't talk straight here, then where the hell can we?"

" Okay I get it. Can we at least steer the conversation towards something else, like how Discord here is the only one of us that's still single."

" What're you talking 'bout? I've always got ladies around my arms." Discord brought Berry over with his lion paw, which was his biggest mistake. Berry Punch being the owner and bartender of this bar for many years, lives up to her name by punching Discord right where his twig and berries are making him let go of her. While holding his two best friends he comes back with this. " Though they don't stay around for long." We all laughed while Discord rolled on the floor in pain.

When he came back to the table, we continued the train of conversation. " You know, Shining has a good point. Discord, in your long life, before you became a statue, did you ever have someone to be with?"

He pondered for a minute before answering. " Well, I thought I was in relationship two hundred years before I was stoned, but it turns out it was just a radiator. But seriously though I have never been in a serious relationship, I mean, who would go out with a guy like me?"

" Hey man, if someone like Joe Dirt can find love, then I'm sure you'll be able to find someone who'll like you, perhaps a certain pegasus with a fondness for animals?"

" I don't know Joe, I mean we're just friends who meet up for tea and light conversation. Other than that, I don't think she'd want to be with me." While he started to feel down in the dumps, we all started to chuckle at his logic. " What are you laughing at?"

" The fact that you're being an idiot." I went and wrapped him in one arm and brought him close. " Look, I may not know Fluttershy as well as you or the girls but I do know this. That mare is sweet on you, more so than anyone else. Truth be told, I think she likes you but is too shy to admit it, well, shyer than she usually is. Maybe, you just need to make the first move?"

" Yeah, before you know it, we'll be hearing wedding bells and watch Fluttershy walk down the aisle." Swagger teased him while giving him a pat on the back.

Discord groaned before finishing off the rest of his drink. " I regret suggesting this place." We all laughed at Discords misery before pouring another round down our gullets.

Back at the station.

The four of us waited at the station for the girls to see Cadance and Shining off. While we waited for them to get here, we did our best to sober up. " Alright, drink up guys." I conjured up some coffee and distributed them to the guys. " Here's to hoping for a mild hangover."

" Amen!" We downed the coffee just as Twilight and Cadance came onto the platform.

Swagger stumbled over and wrapped his arm around Twilight. " Hey beautiful. How was your day with Cadance?"

Ignoring the smell of alcohol on his breath, Twilight told us about her day. " We went to the Starswirl the Bearded traveling museum and saw all the antiques that he owned. After that, we went over to the cafe for lunch and caught up on a few things. What about you, how was your afternoon with the guys, did you keep an eye on my brother?"

" It was pretty good and we kept a good eye on him. We went over to Berry's and had ourselves a roundtable discussion."

" Really, what about?"

" Oh, you know, just guy stuff mostly." He then starts to knead his fingers through her mane. " I'd be happy to tell you some of it back home." This caused a tingle in her spine and a slight purr to escape her lips.

Cadance went and commented on their moment. " It would seem that Twilight is part cat, going by how loud she purrs." She told to no one in particular just as the train came in, this time without the horrible noise.

Shining went ahead and pulled Cadence by his side. " You know, I can make you purr like that too if you want?" As soon as the door to the car opened, Cadance dragged Shining in and closed the door.

As the train made to depart, the front car started rocking. " Hope they don't derail the train." I turned to Twilight and Swagger while putting Discord in a headlock. " Well, I'm going home to be with my family." I looked to Discord. " Guess I'll take this knucklehead with me." I looked back to Swagger and Twi. " I'll see you two around." Having left Swagger in good hooves, I went home with Discord under my arm. Well, stumble around in the general direction of home anyway.

Author's Notes:

Seeing how Discord is Joes familiar, there would be no need for him to act the way he originally did. Also, I'd like to apologize, because like I said in an earlier chapter, I suck at writing mundane event chapters.

Luckily, the next chapter is one big party for everyone.

A clip and a clue.

https://youtu.be/ZnYFBQkYI7o

And because I want to see something gory.

https://youtu.be/taMdQcoADwc