https://youtu.be/XXLwe-ksb7k

There we were. Standing at the threshold of the forest that had the reputation of being extremely hostile, or so they say. I had with me my traveling companions, my Garand, and finally a taste for adventure.

"Alright girls from what I read, the elements should be in the old castle of the two sisters." Twilight was going over a plan to find the castle, elements and Nightmare Moon. "This path should lead us directly to the castle."

" Umm I don't mean to sound afraid or anything but what about the monsters that are lurking in there. " Fluttershy seemed to be a little hesitant about the whole thing. Luckily Pinkie defused the situation.

"Pfft we don't need to worry about that, we have our own indestructible monster that makes other monsters cry for their mommies." A little harsh on calling me a monster but essentially true.

" Well, what about getting around in the dark." I guess Rainbow doesn't like getting smacked by branches, or me.

"I'll be fine, thanks to the gift I have night vision. As for you guys, just follow me and stare at my head cause the sky will illuminate me." They seem to like my logic as their doubts are thinning.

"Yes, what about all the mud and other disgusting things. I mean look at this hooficure it took me at least-."

" Oh, your breaking our hearts saddle up! Let's get this movable feast underway." And with that statement, we were on our way. Queue the music.

We walked on for about an hour or so without running into anything. So far so good. We were nearing a cliff that we probably have to climb down from. As we got to the edge I overheard the conversation.

"So none of you have been in here before?"

" no, the everfree just ain't natural. "

"Really, why is that?"

"Nopony knows." Rainbow was trying to scare them now. " And do you know why? "

"Please enlighten us on the subject." I wanted to humor her story a bit.

"The legends say that anypony that goes in never comes, OUT. No survivors ."

" No survivors. Then where do the stories come from I wonder? "

Before Rainbow can offer a rebuttal I started to get that feeling of being followed again. Just as I was about to look for the source of the said problem, the ground started to break apart. Before we knew it we were slipping and skidding down the mountain. While the girls were keeping steady on their descent, I was tumbling down not knowing which way was up or down. Eventually, I wound up falling 70ft straight down to the bottom and hit my head.

I woke to the sound of the girls trying to wake me up. It appears as though they thought I couldn't survive the fall. But, they weren't aware that I have survived a lot worse than that. " Girls it's alright I'm fine, that fall wasn't nearly as bad as the one I had at the Grand Canyon." Shocked aww befell them when information like that was said in a nonchalant manner. " I just wish I didn't land on my head. Now I'm going to be seeing miniature colored ponies for the next few hours. Oh, wait."

" Hahaha very funny. At least I don't look like a hairless monkey half the time, and a wolf the other half."

"your loss not mine." I love it when they think they have the upper hand and I just throw it right back at them. " So how did you guys get down here anyway?" They enlightened me on the tale of how Twilight almost went over the edge when Applejack told her that she had to let go and that she would be perfectly safe. Well well, it seems as though honesty has saved the day.

"Well that's all well and good but we need to keep going."

We walked for about thirty minutes before we ran into yet another obstacle. A giant raging manticore. While the girls looked ready to turn tail and run, all except Fluttershy and me. I took my Garand and took aim. I was about to fire when I realized that the roaring coming from the beast was not of anger or hunger, but of fear and pain. I slowly placed my rifle on the ground and gestured for Fluttershy to follow me.

"Alright listen to me very carefully. That big cat is in pain and may lash out. So we need to approach slowly and try not to show hostility." Fluttershy looked at me with some trepidation but was soon replaced with confidence. Not a lot but enough to get the job done. "Ok, let's go."

We approached the big cat crouched and at a slow pace. The manticore watched us approach with a slight snarl. We were three feet from the beast when the manticore started to growl. The girls were about to intervene until I raised a hand to stop them. I faced the manticore and started to speak to it.

" Calm down my friend. There is no need to be afraid." The ferocity in the jungle cat started to fade as my words started to soothe it. " Now tell me, what is it that has you so worked up?" The giant fuzzball looked a lot calmer now. He stuck out his paw and turned it over to reveal a comically large thorn in its paw. " Oh, just look at the size of that one. No wonder you were in such a rage." I looked over at Fluttershy to see that she seemed to be concerned about the big lug. " Fluttershy." She looked at me to hear what I had to say. " I need you to pull out the thorn while I hold the paw in place." She nodded her head, ready to do her task. I looked at the manticore. " Alright, buddy. this may pinch just a little." As I held the limb down, Fluttershy moved to the thorn, and.

ROOOOOAAR.

The roar nearly tore my eardrums. But, that wasn't the problem, the problem was a wet sandpaper-like tongue soaking both me and Fluttershy with fish scented saliva. " Alright down boy down. Come on, go lick someone your own size." The girls were giggling at mine and Fluttershy's expense. Though Shy didn't seem to mind the attention. About five minutes had passed before we were released from our furry saliva-coated prison.

" Joe." I looked to see Twilight looking at my new swirl. " How did you know about the thorn?"

" Had no idea about the thorn, but the big softie was in pain, and he needed a little help with whatever. So when it came down to it, I needed a kind soul to help me with the manticore." She seemed deep in thought about what I said, after a second or two she gave off a kind smile and followed us on our way.

We walked a whole five minutes before a high pitched whine was heard. " Ohhh this is just awful. I wish we could look at something other than these horrid woods." Rarity soon came to regret her wish as the clouds started to cover the light of the moon. " Ohh I didn't mean for pitch black."

" Alright, just stick close and follow me." We started to trek at a slower pace so we didn't get separated. we continued this for about twenty minutes until I heard Fluttershy scream. " What's wrong, what happened." She didn't respond, she just pointed towards a tree. " What is it? A monster? A ghost? The IRS? come on woman spill it."

" It's the tree." It was barely audible, but I was able to make out what she had to say. I took another look at the tree she was pointing at only to find that the base of the trunk was carved like a jack-o-lantern. the face didn't faze me as my morning breath was more frightening than that. I turned to tell her it was just a tree when I noticed that all the girls were screaming there heads off. Another look around showed me that we had become surrounded by jack-o-trees.

" Ok, that's just a little creepy." I was about to try and calm them down when my ears fell towards the sound of laughter. I as well as the rest of the girls turned to see that it was Pinkie who was laughing and making faces at one of the trees.

" Pinkie what are you doing? Run!"

" Oh, girls don't you see."

When I was a little filly
And the sun was going down

" Ah, crap singing. Mind if I smoke?" I pulled out a cigar and started puffing while the song was going on. It seemed to be driving the girls of their fears away, which is good but we really needed to wrap this up. As I was watching all this I started to get a familiar scent. The scent was coming from the trees. I approached one of them to get a better scent. But, just as I was about to pinpoint where I recognized the smell, the pink menace came over and laughed at the very tree I was investigating. After she stopped laughing the tree became a regular tree again. I stared in disbelief as my clue just vanished. I turned around and saw that all the girls were now making the faces off the trees disappear as they all laughed at them. Within a minute, every tree that had a face had been turned back to normal with the power of laughter. " Well, at least we know who laughter is," I whispered to my self. I look down to see the girls in a laughing fit sprawled across the forest floor.

" Oh man, I can't believe that worked." Rainbow retorted with a chuckle

" See, I told you that there was nothing to be afraid of." I can't help but roll my eye's at the thought that anyone could be afraid of trees.

We continued on our journey to the castle that just seems to never end. Feels like a Peter Jackson film, to be honest. We kept walking until we hit a raging river with rolling rapids. I was about to make a joke about who wanted to go first, till we heard crying up the river. We went to investigate the noise and see what the problem was.

The noise turned out to be a large purple serpent that was thrashing about, no doubt causing the churning waters. " Hey, buddy, what seems to be the problem here."

" Oh, the most terrible thing just happened." The guy had a very big gay Al voice.

" Mind telling us or do you want to keep us in the dark."

" Well, I was just minding my own business, when all of a sudden this black cloud came by and sliced half my mustache off." Dear God in heaven no, no,NOOOOOOOOO.

" Oh, you poor sweet serpent. Here lies down, and we can work this out." The girls seemed to raise an eyebrow at my mannerisms, all except Rarity, she knew what was going on. " What? Look, only guys with beards and mustaches can understand, like me, Cheech Marin, Burt Reynolds, and of course the master's, the whole band of ZZ Top."

"No idea who they are, but I can only assume that they are also men of facial craftmanship?" Rarity had asked with curiosity.

" They are craftsman Rare's. And let me tell you. Anyone who damages a person's mustache is a cruel and sick twisted individual." I might be overdoing it with the drama, but dammit I have to express myself sometimes.

" Well, I for one cannot let this crime against fashion go. Joseph, please hand me your knife."

" Alright, didn't know you were into the bushido code, but alright." I took out my knife and handed it to her, hopefully, she doesn't do what I think she might do. What she did do was just as bizarre, she took the knife and cut 3/4 of her tail off. She then proceeded to levitate the chopped-off tail over to the cut off a portion of the serpents mustache.

" Oh, thank you so much, it looks simply divine." The damn thing looked like something a kid would make with playdough.

" But, Rarity, look at your tail."

" A small price to pay for another, besides short tails are in this year."

" Well, the river's calm now, let's cross."

Before we could all get across, the water dragon rose to make a scaly bridge. " Please allow me." And so we crossed the river and made it to the other side. Once we were all together we headed down to the castle which was now in sight.

" Come on girls I can see the castle from here, let's go."

" Twilight, wait for us."

They were all running towards the castle to end this little journey of ours. We were 200ft from our destination when all of a sudden Twilight yelped and almost careened off the edge of the ravine. " Woah there egghead, no need to go off half-cocked." I looked over the surrounding area and found a rope bridge that used to hang over the ravine. "Hey, guys over here."We made it to our side of the bridge when a huge obstacle was put in front of us. The bridge was destroyed on the other side.

" Darn, how are we going to get across now?"

" Uh, Duh." Rainbow gestured to her wings and then took off over to the other side with the other half of the bridge with her.

" Oh, right your wings."

Dash had made it to the other side where she was in the process of tying off the bridge to the post. She was about to tie off the last one when suddenly a voice stopped her in her tracks."Rainbow. Rainbow Dash."

" What the, who's there? Show yourself before I put the hurt on you." Dash reared on her hind hooves and started jabbing the air looking for the mystery voice. Suddenly out from the mist came three pegasi clad in dark matching uniforms.

" Hello, Rainbow Dash. we've been waiting for you."

" Wait, me? Why?" Okay, now it might be time to intervene soon.

" We need someone to be the captain of our aerial team. Someone fast."

" Yeah." She started to perk up at the compliments thrown at her.

" Someone agile."

" Yup." Okay, this looks to be turning into a sale's pitch or something of that nature. However, knowing what's been happening on the way over. It's pretty obvious that these girls embody the elements, big time. And the way thing's have been going, it would seem that rainbow would embody loyalty.

" So will you join us?" Alright, it might be time to change.

" Sure, just let me get this bridge up and-"

" No! You must decide. Them or us." She just crossed the line.

" Hey, guys I'm going to need you to hold these for me." I handed Rarity my shirt and belt. I took my sandals off and turned into the Wolfman. I was about to jump over the other side. Which, now that I think about it, I could have done in the first place. Though, the next thing that just happened stopped me in my tracks.

" I choose them. I'm sorry but, I have to stick with my friends." Damn, that nearly brings me to tears. I knew she was loy-wait what's that mare doing with that knife.

" If you won't join us, then you agree to DIE." Okay, time to intervene.

I leaped over the other side in all my beastly glory to defend my new friend. When I made it to the other side I went straight for the mare with the knife and bit the leg holding the knife off. The stallion on my right went to tackle me but a quick slash to the throat stopped his actions in the dust. The last one was able to grab ahold of me and jabbed me with his own knife. This only resulted in his knife breaking against my skin. Finally, I just ripped his head off for his own stupidity with my bear claws. When I turned to the mare with the missing stump, all I saw was the pegasus turn into mist and disappear back into the mist. I turned and sure enough, the other bodies turned to smoke and vanished.

I slowly turned back into my birth form and looked to Dash. " Hey, you okay?" Her facial expression was slaked jawed and eye twitching. " Hey, Dash anyone home."

Suddenly she burst into a full-on fangirl. Dude, that was awesome. I mean you were like Roar, and then slash, slash, and then chomp. That was beyond cool. Well, it seems as though I have a fan.

"Wow, thanks for the praise Dash but how bout we get that bridge secured."

She seemed to come down from her fangasam as she realized we still had a mission. " Right, right sorry let me get that real quick." She tied off the bridge so the other girls could cross. Rarity came by and handed me my effects. I gave her a nod of appreciation.

" Alright, girls what we need is inside that shambling mess of a castle. So let's go in and be prepared for anything, even if it might seem improbable." And so we went over to the large archway that was the entrance to the abandoned castle. God's above don't let us fuck this up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6loWrABr8gA

Author's Notes:

I think from now on I'll add music to the beginnings. Also clips of the day. Like so.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvBobjqcD0g