Author's Notes:

For this chapter, I, your favorite Draconequus, shall take you on a journey you will never forget. And the only way to forget this adventure is if you took a ' Forget me shot' over at Moes.

For the next few minutes, you will be a witness to the day to day routine that is my life. So, have fun and don't forget the popcorn.

Also, a little spoiler. Whenever there is an episode based around me, you will be seeing the world through my eyes, instead of Joe's.

Might as well give you all a clip for all the trouble you guys took to read this little note.

https://youtu.be/jMPN0mOfS_U?t=100

https://youtu.be/cHkaIHRK35g

Celestia decided that it was time for me to wake by making her sun, shine through my window. Seeing no real point in going back to sleep, I rolled off my bed and went to take a pudding bath. With myself submerged, I took a look at my calendar. " Let's see, what do I have on my agenda today? It's Tuesday, so I'll have to stop by Fluttershy's cottage for tea. Make sure to bring the cucumber sandwiches. Joe wants to know if I'm up for a family game night. Might do that, as long as there's beer." As I kept looking at my schedule, I saw that I pretty much had the whole day to myself.

Seeing a chance for a day off, I teleported out of my room and into the kitchen, startling Luna in the process. " Gah! Discord, what did we talk about teleporting in the house?"

" Never in the shower?" She gave me a glare. " Never in the house. I know, but when you've teleported from point A to point B for most of your life, it's going to be a hard habit to break."

" I understand but you still need to make an effort."

" Noted." Just as I was going for some milk for my bowl of nails, Three bodies wrapped themselves around me. " Well, if it isn't my favorite little chaos makers. I hope you're all doing well?"

" We're doing great. Guess what dad told us?" Jack practically bounced in excitement.

" Well don't keep me in suspense." I conjured a tape-recorder and put it between the three of them while putting on the guise of a reporter. " Tell me everything."

Orion took the lead. " Dad said that since Jack and I have grown up so fast. We get to start School with Scootaloo next week."

" Yeah, my brothers get to be my new classmates!"

I just raised an eyebrow at that. " That's the news? I thought there was going to be an interdimensional war or something. My editor's going to kill me." I tossed the recorder out the window whilst turning it into a parrot.

" Now Discord, it may not sound interesting to you. But the boys do need an education. Plus, it'll be good for them to be around other children." Luna came up at brought all three of them in a hug. " Though speaking of school, you need to get ready Scootaloo."

" Yes, Mama Luna." Scootaloo scampered off to get her bag before heading out the door with a piece of toast in her mouth.

When Scoots was out the door and Luna went to make breakfast, I brought the boys close to listen to my advice. " Listen up boys, 'cause I'm only going to say this once. Schools were designed to rid you of individuality and free-thinking. So my advice, learn what needs to be learned but learn the important stuff on the streets. If you do that, then one day you'll be like me." I was then put in a headlock by David.

" But if your both lucky. You'll turn out like your dad and me." He then tightened his grip on me while the boys did their best to stop laughing. " Discord didn't I tell you to let my grandkids get screwed up by their parents, that way I can only blame one party." He let go of me and we sat down for breakfast. " So it seems I have the day off from guard duty. You got anything planned?"

" Well as you know it's Tuesday, so I'll be heading over to Fluttershy's for tea. Other than that, I've got nothing planned." I poured my nails into a bowl only to let out a groan. " Dammit. These aren't the ones with marshmallows."

" Well, if you're not against it. Mind if I join ya?"

" Sure, it'll be nice to have another person to talk to. Though to be honest, I never saw you as a tea drinker."

" Normally I'm not. But I need to do something other than just sit on my ass and watch tv." Dave took a sip of his coffee before continuing. " And if having tea with a few friends is the way to do it. Then so be it."

" Well, I'm sure Fluttershy will appreciate the extra company. However, we have a few hours before that happens. Anything else you want to do?"

" Could just walk through town and play it by ear."

" Now that sounds like my kind of plan." I took my bowl and swallowed it and all its contents before getting up. " Let's go."

" Boys!" Both Dave and I turned to Luna. " Don't get into to much trouble while you're out."

" No promises." We both said in unison, making Luna roll her eyes before serving her sons their breakfast.

Dave and I left out the door and headed out into town. Our first stop had to be the Quik Stop next to Quil and Sofas. Once we got there, the clerk who ran the store was having a heated argument, must be about their relationship. I went and picked some snack cakes for the tea party while Dave grabbed some chips. When we went up to pay, the mare was heading out and the guy looked pissed. When we went up to pay, the guy turned his anger on us. " Thirty-seven! My marefriend sucked thirty-seven dicks!"

" In a row?" That's all I could really say about something like that. He didn't look too pleased about that. " Sorry. I thought that's what you were going for."

" Whatever, don't worry about it. Just these then?" He gestured to the stuff me and dave had grabbed.

" Yeah and a pack of wraps." He gave us our stuff and we left. As we kept walking down the street, one thing kept bothering me. " Do you think that guy was supposed to be working today?"

" Don't know. Don't care."

" My thoughts as well. So what should we do now?"

" Well, I just remembered that Rarity has some clothes ready for me. I suppose we could stop by and pick them up."

" Better than what I had in mind."

" And what did you have in mind?"

" All I have to say is that you and I would be running away from a very angry Celestia with bananas braided in her hair." Dave just shook his head.

We made our way to Rarity's shop, but when we tried to enter, we found the door was locked even though the sign said open. Dave knocked on the door and a guy answered from behind the door. " Who is it?"

" It's Dave. I've come to pick up my order."

" Who?"

" It's Dave. Could you open up the door?"

" Dave's not here dude."

" Noo, I'm Dave!" We waited a minute for him to say something, but nothing came. Dave knocked again.

" Who is it?"

" Alright, I've had enough of this." I teleported myself in and unlocked the door for Dave. When I looked around to see who we were talking to, I was met with a stallion with a bushy mustache, a white coat, and three footballs as a Cutiemark. Upon further examination, I could see he had been blazing up a storm. " I'm sorry but, who are you?"

" Name's Hondo Flanks, but everyone just calls me Magnum." He gave us each a fist/hoof bump then squinted at us. " Who are you guys?"

" Well, I'm Discord, lord of chaos, and this is my hetero lifemate, Dave." Dave didn't seem to like that title much. " And we're here because Rarity has some clothes that he needed to pick up."

" Ooohhh. Alright well, my daughter is talking with my wife at the moment about mare stuff. So if you guys just want to wait out here, we could pass the time with one of these." Magnum reached up into his mane and pulled out a large joint.

" That's the smartest thing I've heard all day." We went inside and got blitzed.

Dave and I left Rarity's with his order of clothes and started heading towards Fluttershy's cottage. Before we left, Dave decided to dress up for the occasion for whatever reason. Not wanting him to feel left out, I put on the duds I wore at Joe's wedding. " Okay, I get the jacket and the pants, but what's with the pencil mustache?"

" I find that it adds to the ensemble. Plus I like to twirl it between my fingers when I'm thinking." To emphasize my point, I started to twirl it. Unfortunately, this caused it to break in half. " Lousy cheap piece of crap!" I tore off the stache and we kept going. Within moments we had reached our destination. I went ahead and knocked on her door. " Fluttershy, Me and a guest are here for tea."

A moment later, the top half of her door opened to reveal the kindest pony that I've ever met in my very long life. " Oh. Hello Discord, it's nice to see you again." She then looked at Dave. " Hello Dave, are you joining us for tea?"

" Yeah. I needed some time away from my son and his antics. I hope it's not too much trouble if I join you guys."

" Oh, it's no trouble at all, there's plenty of tea and pastries for everyone." She let us inside her home and led us to a table with a small tray with a tea set. We each took a seat while Fluttershy poured each of us some tea. " So, did anything interesting happen with you two this week?"

Dave started off. " Well, I caught a couple of colts behind Bon-bons candy store spraying graffiti on the wall. They were drawing some lewd pictures between Bon-bon and Lyra, so I decided to let the grey wolf scare them a bit." He took a bite of a scone while reliving that moment.

" Oh, David. Did you really have to show them your wolf form?" Fluttershy would never admit it to either Joe or Dave. But she has a small fear of their wolf form, nothing visible of course. The only reason I know of it is that she had confided in me.

" I didn't have to. But I hardly ever get to let my other side out. I mean, back on earth, the only people who knew about this side of me were my parents, my grandparents, my son, and Emily. I had to hide it for so long, that there were actually a few times I forgot I was a werewolf. But here, amongst everyone here, I can show my form without fear."

Flutters looked a little down after hearing that. " I'm sorry if I made you feel like you should be ashamed of your other side."

" It's alright Miss Shy." Fluttershy gave that cute smile she always has while hiding half her face with her mane. " What about Discord. Anything you would like to share?"

" Well, as a matter of fact, I did discover a new type of snake."

Fluttershy became interested in that. " Really? What kind of snake was it?"

" It's a rare snake that many in the region have called, a Trouser snake." Dave near spat out his tea when he heard that.

Curious, Fluttershy asked: " What's a trouser snake?"

Before I could tell her or show her my snake, a small flame appeared on my left shoulder. " Mwahahaha." Out from the flame appeared a little me wearing a devil costume. He directed his attention to my pants where I followed. Finally, he asked: " What the fuck are you waiting for? She went for the setup. Reach in your pants and pull your cock out bitch. Mares like that kind of shit."

Before I could really think about what he said, another flame went off on my right shoulder, revealing another me in a devil costume. " Mwahahaha. Right about here is where the angel is supposed to show up and tell you not to pull your dick out. But we bitch-slapped that mother fucker and sent him packing, so it's smooth sailing. Let 'em rip boy." After that, they both left while I smiled towards them.

Flutters just looked over at Dave, silently asking what's going on. He just shrugged not knowing the answer either.

I was about to unveil my rod when a bright light went off on my left shoulder. It was another me but this time he was dressed like an angel. " Celestia needs to lay off the cake." He sang while strumming a harp. " Oh sorry, I'm late. So what's the deal here?" We both looked to my crotch where I was about to unzip my pants. " Oh, shit don't tell me you're thinking of whipping your dick at this fine piece of ass are you?" I nodded my head yes and got hit with his harp. Seems that was the wrong answer. " Tell you what, look over at Dave and see if he thinks it's a good idea for you to whip your dick out." I looked over at Dave and nodded over to Flutters. He slowly shook his head ' no'. " That's it, boy, put the dick down. You gotta go from the heart, no little perv bullshit is going to work for this one. Be smooth. Be saint Discord. Now I gotta beat the shit out of two sucker-punching little bitches. Remember, don't pull your dick out until she asks or until she's sleeping. Peace." And with that, he disappeared.

Coming back to reality, I tried to change the subject. " I forget why they call it that. So what about you my dear, anything new with you and your animal friends?"

She perked up at that. " Actually, there are a few things. Angel is due for his monthly tail fluffing. Harry went and caught the biggest Salmon and shared it with a sow that he's found an interest in. Oh, and Hobbes even paid me a visit the other day."

" Really? What made him want to visit you? Not that there's anything wrong with it, I'm just curious."

" He said that the crusaders were going to try for a tiger taming cutie mark and he heard from the other animals how most of their adventures turn out. So while they were arguing whether to use a chair or whip first, he slunk out the farm and made his way here."

" Ah, those three. I owe them a debt of gratitude you know. When they were up in Canterlot for their field trip they had a little fight where I was in the garden. That small amount of chaos they caused was enough to free me from my stone prison. Some would say they did bad. But if you ask me, it was for the best. And if it weren't for them, I would never have met any of you." Especially you, my dear Fluttershy.

" Well, if you feel like making it up to them, you could always supervise them while they crusade?" I pondered Dave's idea and found it boring.

" Yes, well, as the Lord of chaos. It goes against my nature to prevent chaos, and those three do a fantastic job of creating it." I took a sip of tea while my tail took a bite from a croissant. Suddenly, I had remembered a juicy bit of gossip. " I just thought of something. You know how Joe went and took Spike under his wing for a while?" They both nodded yes. " Well, when they both got back, Spike had taken Rarity to her home and a fantastic thing has happened."

" What, the had sex or something?"

" David!! That is not something you discuss with others. Also, Rarity and Spike may be in a relationship, but I don't think they're quite ready for that."

" Now you say that, but the actual fact is." I paused there to see if she'd get it.

She got it if her eyes widening is any indication. " So...they?"

" Like Jackrabbits in the middle of a summer afternoon on a hot skillet while overdosing on viagra and Spanish fly put together. Nearly caused the building to shake," I told her while wearing a straw hat and a stalk of wheat between my teeth. This got Dave to laugh and nearly choke on a biscotti while Fluttershy's face did an impression of a tomato. " Okay, so it wasn't quite like that, however, we can no longer call Spike a baby dragon."

After a few minutes, Dave stopped laughing. " Changing the subject. I hear that the Equestrian Games are looking for a city to host the events."

Fluttershy's face became its yellow complexion again and turned to Dave. " That's true. In fact, Princess Celestia has asked the girls, Joe and I to help the Crystal Empire win the vote from the games inspector."

" It'll certainly give that place a boost in tourism. And with the endorsement of both the heroes and Prince of Equestria, It's sure to get the vote."

" I have no doubt about it, and if I can be of any assistance, feel free to ask."

" Actually Discord, if you wouldn't mind watching over the animals while I'm away. I mean, if it's not too much trouble?"

" It's no trouble at all my dear, as long as I don't have to look after that little terror, Angel. Speaking of, where is that little rodent?" All of a sudden, the little vermin had jumped onto my head and started beating me with a carrot. " Ugh, speak of the devil and the devil shows up."

" Angel! You get off him this instant."

" It's alright my dear, we were just about to leave anyway." I drained the rest of my tea and got up from my seat. " Thank you for the tea and company. I hope to see you next week." I gave her a hug which she returned, and I was out the door with Dave behind me. " It's always nice to share tea with her."

" Sure was better than what I expected. But tell me honestly. Do you have a thing for her?"

The question made me stumble a bit in our walk home. " What?! Pfft, don't be ridiculous. Of course, I don't have a thing for her."

" Well, if you're not going to try anything, I might just ask her out sometime." I did not like what he said at all.

I grabbed him by his shirt and pierced him with my gaze. " If you try to make a move on her! I'll have your hind turned into a rug and wear your skull as a headdress!" Instead of him trying to escape or tear my head off, he just gave me a smug smile. " You were just playing with me?"

" Like a violin. Now put me down, before you ruin the shirt." I set him down and he dusted himself off. " Okay, now that we established that, let's head home."

Dave kept walking down the path towards home while I just stood there with my thoughts. " ( Exhale) Weirdest day of the century." I trudged along the path, thinking what the future may hold for me. And, maybe, with a certain pegasus.