The Equestrian/Caribou border. A few days before the wedding.

At the top of the snowy mountain on the very border of Equestria and the Caribou nation. On top of the mountain, a cave was lit with torches and furnished to hold a meeting. Inside the cave, sat two figures of political power, one a prince of Equestria, and the other, king of the Caribou. They both sat on either side of the table with a map of sweet apple acres in front of them. The two that were looking over the map, one Prince Blueblood and one King Dainn of the Caribou and Stonehoof tribe.

" So it's agreed, in a few days time, you and your tribe will attack the farm and hold the princesses and destroy that infernal dog. And in return, you shall have the mares put under hoof as sex slaves once I take the throne and become ruler of all Equestria." He had a sinister grin going that was missing some teeth (Ha) and hoofed Dainn a large sack of gold.

Dainn took the bag and looked it over. After a few seconds, he looked to the bag he brought with him and pulled out a crystal horn.

" And this" He slid the horn over to him " will give you your magic back." Blueblood reached for the piece of crystal and placed it upon the broken part of his horn. When the crystal connected with the fractured part of his horn, it fused itself to him and became whole. As Blueblood admired his repaired appendage, Dainn placed the gold in the bag and addressed his plan. " So, we'll attack from the orchard after the ceremony when they'll be too busy to prepare for a surprise attack"

" Indeed. Let him get a taste of something before it's taken away. And when you do get a hold of that vermin who ruined my image, make him suffer!"

" And what of the princesses?"

Blueblood gave a sinister smile while his new horn glowed a crimson red. " Kill them."

Wedding day

" I really think we should go over this again Joe." Twilight was telling me how I needed to focus on last-minute preparations while Rarity added some finishing touches to my wedding garb. Love the blue on it.

" Twilight, you're going over minuscule things that were solved when we went over the big things. We have the cake, the guests that RSVP'd have already arrived. I got the band covered, Rarity already did Luna and Jackie's dress, the area for the wedding has been cleared of all debris." I kept naming things off as the final belt was put in place. " The food for the buffet has been set up, we have everyone's seating arrangments, and we have the times fixed. Honestly, Twilight if I didn't know better, I'd say you were going over the list again to fulfill a strange list fetish that only a certain dragon knows about?"

" Hey, I told Spike that in confidence!" We all looked at her with surprised faces. " He never told you about the checklist thing, did he?"

" No, that was a shot in the dark and I think we should never speak of this again." We nodded in agreement and went back to what we were doing. As Rarity tugged the last of the buckles in place I looked myself over. " You don't think I should've gone with the tux I wore at the Gala, do you?"

Rarity came to save the day. " Joe, a tux to a wedding is a bit a dozen. Wearing a traditional wedding garb that hasn't been seen in centuries shows that you truly care about Applejack and Luna." I mulled that over and realized she had a point. Besides, it really doesn't matter what I wear, because those two lovely ladies fell for me, not the wrapper. " Now come on, the wedding starts in three hours, and I have to fit Jackie and Luna and you know it's bad luck to see the brides before the wedding."

" You're right, I should be heading to the farm anyway, gotta make sure they got everything in check." I went ahead and teleported myself to the farm in case I accidentally ran into my brides on the way there. When I went up to the house I caught a glimpse of the Crusaders in their flower girl dresses. " Well ain't you three just the cutest."

They all looked at me and Scootaloo went ahead to speak for everyone. " Anything for the hero of Equestria." They all came over and hugged my waist which I returned.

" Hey, Joe, I just remembered something. Since you and Applejack are getting married, that means I'll be your sister!"

" One of the many benefits of marriage." I went and tousled Bloom's hair at her cuteness.

Sweetie gained a questioning look " What are the other benefits to marriage?"

" I'll tell you when you're older." No need to traumatize any kids today, maybe tomorrow.

I let them get back to their conversation as I went outside to see how the preparations are going. We decided to have the wedding where Pear Butter and Bright Mac had their wedding. The dual fruit tree was lightly decorated with blue banners to show Lunas colors. We all decided the tree was enough for Applejack. In front of the tree stood a podium where Celestia would give the brides and groom to each other. The chairs were arranged to hold every one on Jackie's side to the right, Whereas every one that would be there for Luna on the left. We decided to have our friends be the bride's maids ( Like there was any other choice) and Big Mac, discord, Shining and spike would be the groom's men with dad being my best man. Hercules would play ring bearer.

The tables holding the food were being catered by Canterlot's best chefs. And the cake we got could rival any wedding cake that came before it.

Pinkie and the Cakes really outdid themselves on this. I went over to the guest list to see who all was coming, and to my infinite relief, Blueblood was not on the list. Future nephew or not, he needs a good ass whooping from time to time. As I kept looking through the list, I noticed that many nobles were on the list. Really didn't want most of them here, but I suppose they didn't really want to be here either, they just want to suck up to Luna and Celestia's ass.

I turned away from the guest book just in time to see Bright Mac come up to me. " Hello, Sir beautiful day isn't it?" He gave me a raised eyebrow as his answer. " That was stupid I know."

He shook his head and looked me straight in the eye. " I want to make something very clear Joseph." Shit, he used my actual name. I waited for some sort of threat or punch to the gut, what I got instead was equally surprising, he gave me a hug. " You saved my wife and me from a living hell and gave us the chance to be grandparents. Since you're making an honest mare out of my daughter, I give you my full blessing."

I was in tears, the father of one of my wives to be had just given me his blessing. I quickly returned his hug with much more force. " Thank ya, Pa."

" That's Bright Mac to you still."

" Yes, sir." We let go of each other and He went on his way till the reception. I turned to see what else could be done, that is until a certain pear mare went and slammed into me. " Ooof! What can I do for you Pear?"

" You can start by listening very closely to what I have to say." Her tone became icy and stern, like speaking to a pissed off frost giant. " Like my husband, I'm grateful you pulled us from that hellhole. However, I want to make one thing clear. If you hurt my baby in any way, shape or form, I will rip your balls off and mount them on a stick! And the same goes for Luna, do you understand!"

" Balls. Stick. I understand completely."

Her cold demeanor vanished instantly and her usual cheery smile replaced the fear-inducing one she just had. " Glad we had this talk." She got off me and started heading where her husband went, but not without saying one more thing. " Oh, by the way, you can call me mom." And with that, she left to catch up with Bright.

A minute passed by and I was still contemplating what just happened. " Odin, if you help me get through today, I'll give you twenty animal hearts and swear off internet porn." After my prayer, I got up and went back to making sure everything is on the up and up.

Outskirts of Sweet Apple Acres.

On the opposite side of the orchard, lay a small war party of caribou. Since that side of the orchard was close to the Everfree, they could easily hide their tents. The war party consisted of a little over two-hundred battle-ready caribou, hungry for the chance to spill blood and release their seed into some poor mare. Among the numerous tents stood the royal tent, harboring Diann and his five bastard sons. Inside the tent, Diann went over the plans with his sons.

" Here's how it's going to play out." He pointed to one side of the map showing the east orchards. " We'll enter here, on the opposite side of where the wedding is supposed to happen. We'll wait till after they say ' I do' then we'll have the army charge them. Amongst the confusion, we'll use the rune's to trap the royal whores. After we have a few rounds with them, we'll take their heads and show that we are the dominant kingdom on this planet." The whole tent was in a sinister laughing contest.

Unbeknownst to them, a small hole could be seen in the earth, where a single eye could be seen retreating back into the earth. That eye belonged to a diamond dog named Fido, one of the soldiers to Joe's new Ghost Warriors. He hurried down the tunnel heading toward the underground training grounds. He headed for Rover, the high general when Joe isn't there. " Rover, I have a report."

" What is it?" The nearby dogs came over to see what the commotion was about.

" Caribou. A small war party of at least two-hundred are stationed in the forest. They mean to attack our king's wedding and kill the princesses." The Diamond Dogs never had a steady relationship with ponies but they knew to give respect to the ones who control the sun and moon.

" When do they intend to attack?"

" Right after they say they're I do's." Rover went into deep thought on what to do. " What are your orders, sir?"

" Get five-hundred troops to line the trees in wait of their forces. Then I want twenty of our best troops to ambush the royal tent and hold them captive, our king will know what to do with them at the end of his wedding. It's a classic shock/guerilla tactic."

" I'll get it done right away sir." Fido gave a farewell salute and headed off to assemble the troops.

Sweet Apple Acres, Joe's Pov

I stood at the alter sweating my ass off. It was the Twilight hour of the day so the sky had a golden purple hue to it. Behind me was my father and my fellow groom's men giving me support where I needed it. On the other side stood the bridesmaids which were made up of Cadence and the main six except for Jackie. They all looked beautiful in their dresses and every time I looked to Shining, he would give a lustful look to Cadence. Made a bet with Dash that at some point those two were going to fuck sometime during the wedding. Celestia stood between us while Hercules sat at her right.

A million thoughts kept running through my head, most of them telling myself not to screw this up. It didn't help I could hear the whispers by some of the nobles who were mainly here for social standing.

" That thing shouldn't be married, it should be put in a cage."

" Can't believe I have to go through this freak show, just so I could get a chance to speak with Princess Celestia."

I was about to knock some manners into them when my dad put his hand on my shoulder. Apparently, he heard them too. " Son, don't let those assholes get to you, alright. If you go and fight them, you'll just prove them right."

" You're right, I just wish the damn thing would start." Just as I said that the music signaling the beginning of the ceremony started. " Great timing."

Once the music started, everyone in the audience shut their yaps and put their attention to the front of the aisle. The first ones to come out from the makeshift tent were the Crusaders in their flower girl dresses. As they went down the aisle, their relatives and Dash looked very proud that they had an important role to play in this. When they finished their routine, the music changed to the one that was most anticipated for.

https://youtu.be/lgh9XTkQTDI

My eyes were glued down the aisle, waiting to see my brides. Then I saw them, they were a vision that I could only have dreamt of, probably how Rarity got the designs. Sometimes our dream walking sessions had their perks in the real world.


As they both walked down the aisle towards me, all my fears and worries had been swept away and were replaced with courage and happiness.

The Caribou army had started its march toward its intended target. They carried heavy plate armor and wielded spears and nets. They expected to see more use out of the nets and the armor was so the opposition didn't have a chance to defend themselves. As they marched through the woods, they never saw the eyes watching them from the shadows. Soon, the army came upon a clearing. " Company! Halt!"

The army stopped and waited for further commands From the high general. " Today is the day my young bucks! The day we take our rightful place as the dominant kingdom! The time, to put all females in their place! The time to-Gahhh" The pig with horns would have said more to the perverted troops but a javelin was sticking out of his throat.

The soldiers were in shock to see their commander dead before they could even prepare for an attack. While most of the troops were scrambling about, readying themselves for a fight, a young buck caught sight of something. " Look, over there!" The soldiers looked to where their comrade was pointing, only to find a group of ten diamond dogs waiting at the edge of the forest. In an instant, the dogs got into a formation and started a war chant.

" Prepare your feet!"
" Stamp with fury and gusto!"
" It is death! It is death!"
" It is life! It is life!"
" Behold the hairy wolf!"
" Who reined in the moon and so it shines!"
" Arise, arise!"
" Rise up to the heights of the shining moon!"
" It is death! It is death!"
" It is life! It is Life!"

The small group ended their routine by pose a battle stance with a few tongues sticking out. The caribou were in total shock not a single one of them moved, this is exactly what the dogs wanted. While the dogs were still in their stance, a group of five appeared from behind and unleashed a volley of javelins and stones into the crowd. The volley found its mark and wound up killing around fifteen before the army regained their senses.

" Get them!" With that lone cry, the minuscule army charged towards the retreating diamond dogs. With no high commander to order them back or leave some reserves, the whole army went in pursuit of the small commandos leading them away from the orchards. Now the real trap was in play.

My valkyries made it up to the aisle on the other side of me. We were admiring each other in our wedding clothes when Celestia started her speech. " Welcome everypony, to the wedding of Lady Applejack, Princess Luna, and Joe, the hero of Equestria." Some of the crowd scoffed at my title but were quickly shushed by the others. " We are gathered here today, to witness the union between these three beings, who have found it in their hearts, to become a married trio. The three have written their own vows which we will now hear." She looked at Jackie and Lulu. " As always, ladies first."

Jackie was the first to go. " Joe, ever since you came into our lives, you always had our best interests at heart. You make me smile when I'm down, make me laugh when I need it, and you lift me up when I fall." Tears threatened to escape her eyes with every word she said. " You brought back my parents when we thought them dead. You blessed me with a child to love and one day raise. And it is because of these reasons, that I give you my heart and soul. I love you, Joe, now and forever." The whole wedding party had tears in their eyes from Jackie's vow. And I have to admit, I also shed a tear.

Jackie took a step back and Luna stepped up. " Joe, I can never thank you enough for freeing me from the Nightmare that took hold of me. When we first met, it wasn't in the best circumstances." This got a chuckle from everyone. " But during the time that I got to know you, you've been a kind and loyal friend to all that have had the pleasure of your company. You've put mine and other's needs before yours and went as far as changing a holiday just so others could see me in a better light. Just like Applejack, you have blessed me with a child that we can love and see grow to be a fine young man. I love you, Joe, now and forever." When she was done with her vow, she and Jackie grabbed a necklace from Hercules, the necklace was beautifully crafted and showed my wolf side.

I put it around my neck and readied my vows. " Jackie Lulu, you are the only ones that I can share all that I am. I promise to trust you and to be honest with you both. I promise to listen to you, respect you and support you. I promise to laugh and play with you and grow and bend with you. I promise to cherish every day we have together. I promise to do all this through whatever life brings us: riches or poverty, health or illness, through good times and bad, until the end of my days. I love you both, now and forever." I then took the necklaces from the Gala from Hercules and placed them around each of their necks. Once I was done, we all looked to Celestia.

" By the power vested to me by, well, me. I now pronounce you, husband and wives, Prince and Princesses of Equestria. You may now kiss the brides." Like I needed telling twice. I meet them in the middle and gave them each a passionate and long kiss, starting with Jackie and ending with Luna, then they gave each other a kiss. " I now introduce for the first time, Mister and Misses and Misses Huffstutler."

The whole place was filled with cheers of joy as we turned to face them as a married trio. We then headed for where the dance floor was set up and waited for Vinyl to put on the music so we could start dancing. We didn't have to wait long as our Dj went and put on the first record.

https://youtu.be/EaKDOYTZbJg

With the music going, we shared our first dance together. Since we had no real experience in a three-way dance, we just held each other close and spun lazily around the room. I looked around to see some of my groomsmen dance with the bridesmaids. Discord with Fluttershy, Rainbow with Gilda, Rarity with Spike, and of course Shining and Cadence paired up with each other and had the time of their lives. Just wait until I do the individual dances.

The Ghost Warriors ran through the trees making sure to keep in sight of the caribou. Speaking of which, the caribou kept the chase going, hoping to avenge their brothers in arms. As they went through the trees, the box formation they had turned into a train formation. As the army passed through the trees, they never saw the other ghost warriors hiding in the trees.

One of the soldiers from the back was lagging behind, no doubt from the heavy armor he had on. As he made an attempt to catch up with the others, he felt a sudden pain in the side of his head. The pain was so intense, he stumbled and fell to the ground. As his vision slowly grew darker, he could see his fellow caribou get picked off by stones and javelins. As the light in his eyes dimmed to almost nothing, he realized they had walked into a trap.

When the song ended, I went up to the stage to make a quick announcement. " Hello, everyone, you all having a good time?" Everyone gave out a cheer of delight at the fun times everyone was having. " That's great to hear, now I would like to give an announcement. Seeing as I have been blessed with two beautiful ladies, I would like to have a dance with each of them individually in the order that I met them." The crowd gave a small cheer for an opportunity for more music and dancing. " Alright, the first of my beauties to dance is Jackie." I went back down to the dance floor while the music started.

https://youtu.be/qi5nE4cPFAQ

We danced a country style as the music played. She seemed to like the music as she would giggle every time the farmer's daughter part was mentioned. She ended up holding me close as we just wanted to embrace each other during the rest of the song. When the song ended, we looked into each other's eyes and kissed. " I love you, Jackie."

" I love you, Joe."

Fido's Pov

We were getting closer to our rendezvous point with the others as we made sure the last of the caribou followed. We kept the chase going for another few minutes, till we hit a dead-end at the base of a large cliff. When we got there, we made a fake attempt to climb the cliff in vain. Suddenly, the remaining caribou surrounded us. " We got you now you filthy dogs! any last words?"

" Yeah. Look behind you."

The caribou took a glance behind them, only to turn around fully to see the carnage before them. The path they had traveled through was perforated with the bodies of the former caribou army. The carnage was tremendous, the forest floor had been littered with the mangled bodies of the armored caribou. Most of them had javelins sticking out of them while others had large dents in their helmets. Further back, one could almost see a few predators dragging the bodies into the woods.

When the caribou took a quick count of their remaining numbers, they only had twenty-five left. " How could this happen? We are the superior race, how can we be defeated by these burrowing mutts?!" One of the remaining soldiers asked to no one in particular. So I decided to answer them.

" It's quite simple really." At that moment our other forces surrounded the remaining enemy. " Our king trained us better." We then swarmed our foe and snuffed out the last of King Dainn's army. Now all that's left is for Spot and our special forces to take the King and his son's prisoner.

Back to the wedding

I lead Jackie over to the table that the Apple family claimed and sat her down. " You holding up alright Honey?"

" Yeah, it's just the little one is taking most of my energy." As I sat with her, Luna came over to sit with us. " Hi Sugar, how are you doing?"

They exchanged a quick kiss before she spoke up. " I would be doing a lot better if these stuck up nobles would leave me alone about how I'm making a mistake. Sometimes I wish I could just do away with them like in the old days."

" Well, you could always threaten to take away their titles. Hell, from the looks of it, most have not earned the right to be called noble. In the old days back on earth, if a man wanted to be considered noble, he had to perform great deeds that benefit the kingdom, not his wallet." My words seemed to reach the ears of some of the nobles hiding behind Luna and let me tell you, they did not look happy about my opinion. Rather than argue with me about what nobility should look like, they turned their backs to me and left with their noses in the air.

" Seems that got rid of them. Thank you, my love." She came over and gave me a kiss. " Now I believe you owe me a dance Stud."

" Indeed I do. Jackie, don't have too much fun without us." I took Luna's hoof and lead her to the dance floor. When we got to the middle, I signaled Vinyl to start up the next song. " Try and keep up Sweet-heart."

https://youtu.be/m0Nc7vb808c

We started to dance apart from each other as the song went on. I would often watch as Luna became the center of attention as she started to dance using her hind legs. near the end, we came together and danced as we did in the classroom. When the song came to an end, she held me tight as I kept her back from touching the ground. The whole party gave another cheer as the dance was over. I brought her back over to Jackie and we just sat there.

" That was fun. We ought to do this again sometime after the boys are born." I put a hand on both their bellies as we all just sat and watched the others dance and mingle.

" It was fun, though maybe next time, you could stand to not step on my hooves so much." My face went bright red as Jackie let me now I wasn't the greatest dancer.

" I thought you did very well Dear." Luna nuzzled my cheek as Jackie just rolled her eyes. Something quickly caught Luna's attention as she jabbed her hoof in my side. " I think we should cut the cake before Tia decides to take a giant chunk out of it."

" Yeah alright, come on you two, lets cut the cake." we went over to the giant confectionary to move the wedding forward. As we cut the cake, I couldn't help but feel like something was going to happen.

King Diann's tent

Inside the tent to the would-be ruler of the world, sat the king and his sons, waiting for the perfect time to strike. Finally, the eldest son spoke up. " How long must we wait, father, my loins are dying to enter that Sun-Slut's cunt."

The youngest went and spoke next. " Screw that old whore, we should go for the Pink Bitch. I hear she has the tightest snatch in all the world."

The second oldest spoke his mind. " I say we go for Moon Butt and that tasty bitch that monkey is making his own personal fuck toy."

" Enough!" The boys looked to their father after the outburst. " In another twenty minutes, we'll join our subjects and reign in the royal bitches. Once we've had our fun, we'll place their heads on pikes and take the mares as trophies."

The bastards all started to laugh as the plan was coming to an end. Before another word could be said, the tent collapsed around them and the fabric tightened against them. While the royal pricks tried to escape their cloth prison, the Ghost Warriors proceeded to beat the lumps with light wooden clubs. Not enough to kill, but enough to knock them out.

" Alright we got them, Spot, go and tell the king of what's happening." Spot, a first lieutenant of Joe's ghost warriors, saluted his captain and ran off to the wedding. " Alright, let's rap these sacks of crap up and put them in the dungeon!"

One of the warriors raised his paw. " Sir, do you mean that pit we dug in that cave by the river?"

" Until we make an actual dungeon, yes, the pit in the cave." The special forces then grabbed the unconscious assholes in the tent and went to dump them in the cave. Fido turned back to ' The Ghost lair' to wait for further instructions from either Rover or their King.

As the sun started to set, I thought about all that happened today. I married the loves of my life, insulted the nobles, and best of all, nothing went wrong. " Aaaahhhh!" This is what I get for thinking.

I ran over to the sound of the scream, only to find Rarity screaming at the approaching form of Spot, one of my Ghost Warriors. " Joe, thank goodness, please do something, they've come back for me!"

I looked at Spot as he stopped and gave me a low bow. " Lieutenant, state your business!" I said with absolute authority.

" Apologies my king, but something urgent has happened that needs your attention." This really piqued my interest.

" Alright, speak, what is it that needs my attention so bad it couldn't wait till tomorrow." Spot then told me everything that's happened while I was getting married. At first, it sounded like I would have to go into battle and lead my Ghost Warriors to victory. But as Spot's story continued, it seemed that they already took care of the problem. Then he told me he had prisoners. " Who exactly are these prisoners Lieutenant?"

" The King and Prince's of the Caribou kingdom. Should we eliminate them, your Highness?" I thought about what Spot had told me. The Caribou knew when the wedding was, date and time. They were told ahead of time about this, which means they had an informant on the Equestrian side. Which means they want me gone and the Princesses out of commission. Though the real question is, who has the most to gain from this besides the Caribou? " Sire, what should we do with them?"

" I want you to keep those bastards in that pit for two days, give them no food or water and provide no means of warmth or comfort. After those two days, I want you to set up a room for interrogation. I will personally see to it myself that they give us answers." I replaced my stone-cold expression to one of calm and happiness. " Thank you, Spot, for giving me this information. Now return to the others and relay what I've said to you, also, tell them I'm proud of them and that a feast will be held when this is over." He gave a salute and went on his way.

" Joe, what was that all about?" Celestia walked up behind me to see what the commotion was. " Was that one of your subjects?"

" Yes, one of my soldiers actually. He just got through telling me some very interesting news that I believe you and the others should hear about." I lead her back over to the table, where my wives and friends were. They would be needing a drink or two after hearing what I'm about to tell them.

Author's Notes:

It is done. The binding of Joe and his Valkyries has been written. Now for something that might disturb some of you, while also getting some much-needed justice to the mares in some of those ' Fall of Equestria' fics. Also, if it's not clear, I really hate the male Caribou and any treacherous male against the crown and Equestria.

As to the next chapter, comment on what should be done to the prisoners. I need five good suggestions on what to do.

Clip.

https://youtu.be/Gc-MInlWph8

Funny, but too short. Here's another one.

https://youtu.be/W4MPDiENNXU