https://youtu.be/EIYymBQ05S8

The day started out a little weird today. The first thing that happened, was that both my Valkyries started the craving portion of their pregnancies. Luna wanted vanilla ice cream mixed with pickle chips and barbecue sauce, while Jackie wanted apple pie stuffed with banana pudding and jalapenos. Thank the gods AB wasn't here to witness that. Weird as those were, they couldn't compare to the weather outside. " Hey, Jackie."

" Yeah, honey?"

" I'm still getting used to the weather around here, but are pink clouds that look like cotton candy normal?" In a world of magic, you sometimes have to ask these questions in case something ain't right.

" No, that's actually quite unusual." Jackie came over to the window I was looking out to see what I was talking about. Outside, she saw a small coverage of pink clouds. When we thought it couldn't get weirder, the clouds started to produce brown rain. " What in tarnation!" Jackie went for the front door but I placed my hand on her back.

" You stay here sugar, don't want you stressing while you're carrying." I summoned my ax from the living room and whistled for Hercules. " Hercules and I are going to see what the problem is, Hopefully, this can be resolved before dinner." I gave her a quick kiss before heading out with my dog.

" You be safe now, ya hear me!" I will never know how I got so lucky.

When we got out, Hercules and I headed for the orchards to see if the bizarre weather had affected our way of living. By now Hercules has grown into full maturity, he was as big as both Big Mac and Bright Mac. He had a reputation of running up to the Crusaders whenever they and he were outside together. And it was from those experiences the kids would call him 'The Beast'.

We had made it to the orchard to find Dash sticking to one of the pink clouds. " Hey Dash, you alright?"

" Does it look like I'm alright! This cotton candy cloud just came out of nowhere creating chocolate rain and is making my job a living Hell!"

All of a sudden, Pinkie. " You might call this Hell, I call it paradise!" She got under the nearest cloud and opened her mouth to let the chocolatey goodness in.

" The question still remains though, where did they come from?" Before I could get an answer for this debacle, the apples in the trees started to shake and then grow to beach ball-sized fruits. " Okay, that ain't normal!" The weight of the oversized fruit made the trees bend to the point the tops touched the ground. As soon as the first leaf touched the ground a swarm of critters came to feast on the fruit. " Hey! Get the Hell away from those!" I started chasing after the critters to save the fruit. Just as I was about to grab hold of a rabbit, the damn thing sprouted long horse legs. " The fuck!"

Out the corner of my eye, I could see Fluttershy trying to round up some mutated bunnies. " Angel, you come back here this instant young bunny." I looked around to see what the Hell could be done, only to see the stalks of corn pop and turn into popcorn.

" Great, now we got out of control corn. What next, jumping beans, fighting trees, houses made of giant playing cards? This is either the work of Loki or I'm on another ether binge." It was too early in the morning for ether, and Loki is having poison dripped onto his eyes. Maybe I should go and ask Twilight?

Lo and behold, there she is coming up the hill with Spike. " Joe, what's going on?"

" Oh you know, same shit different day. The whole farm's going Looney Tunes on me, what do ya think." I started to hear my own marbles coming loose as I had no idea what could be done to fix this place. " Twilight, if you have any knowledge in that big head of yours, please use it!"

" Actually, it just so happens I've read a fail-safe spell that can fix most magical mishaps." She read through a book that most likely had the spell she just referred to. " Alright, let's see if this works!" Her horn started to glow and within five seconds, a magical shock wave was sent into the ground and rippled through the air. When the lights faded, absolutely nothing changed. " What, how is this possible!? My fail-safe spell failed! What do we do know?"

" Uh, give up?"I was about to tell him something, though I really didn't know what, till he burped up a letter. " Here Twilight, maybe the princess will know what to do." Hopefully, before the day is out.

" Let's see what it says." She took a moment to read through the letter while a small cotton candy cloud hovered over my head, drenching me in chocolate rain. Nice. When it looked like she had reached the end, she rolled up the letter and put it away. " Joe, get Applejack and meet us at the train station, we're heading to Canterlot."

" One second Twi!" Seeing as a fail-safe spell ain't gonna cut it, I decided to use the forces of nature. I gathered a high wind with my magic and created a small tornado to suck up all the clouds and popcorn, kinda like a big old vacuum. Once the tornado ended, a large cotton candy popcorn ball dropped from the sky. This immediately got the animal's attention away from the apples and right to my giant sugar ball, at least the ones that didn't get chased away by Hercules. " Alright let's go!"

We had just arrived at the entrance of the palace. The letter informed us that Celestia would explain the cause of all this chaos. When we entered, Celestia was the first to greet us. " Hey Sis, what's this I hear you might know what's behind all this topsy turvy stuff."

" Hello Joe, I believe I know what or rather who is behind all this." Knew a being of power was behind this. " The being that is behind all this chaos, is none other than the lord of chaos himself."

" How did Loki get here? He's supposed to be having his eyes poisoned by the snake above his head until Ragnarok." Everyone looked at me like I was crazy. " I'm guessing it's not him."

" No, it's not." Celestia made us follow her down the throne room where a multitude of stained glass windows lined the walls. " A little over a thousand years ago, a being known as Discord ruled over the ponies in Equestria. He would cause random acts of weather and make the land his own board game, whilst the ponies suffered from his rule." We came to a window depicting a creature that was made up of different body parts, playing puppet master to the three tribes of ponies. " Eventually, my sister and I were able to use the elements of harmony on him, turning him to stone." The window next to us had the same creature in it, only this time he was a statue.

I was about to congratulate her success, but Pinkie interrupted. " Hey look, it's us!" She pointed at a window on the other side of the hall, and sure enough, there we were. The window was a depiction of us curing Luna of her affliction. The girls were below with the elements with them, shooting a beam at her while I held her down in my wolf form. On a window next to us, it depicted the girls as the element bearers, and with me in the middle of them with my wings spread, my ax in one hand and magic in the other, though only one side of me was a wolf. I had to say I looked pretty good. " We're famous!"

" Yes, it is because of your friendship that the elements have chosen you as their new wielders. And it's with the elements and Joe that Discord will once again be imprisoned!" Celestia went over to a door at the end of the hall. " Behind this door, are the tools that will turn Discord into stone once again!" She inserted her horn into a small hole in the center of the door which unlocked it. Inside the small room lay a small jeweled encrusted chest.

" Ooooh, keep the elements, just give me the box." Celestia levitated the box over to us. Once it was in front of us she opened the box revealing....nothing. We were all shocked to see that the elements had been swiped. Well almost everyone.

" Well, if you girls need me, I'll be out playing in the chocolate puddles see ya." Pinkie would have gone out the door to do just that, but I grabbed her tail and brought her back. " Oh come on Joe!"

https://youtu.be/pVY1-v97Mic

The laugh echoed across the halls, sending shivers down my friend's spines. I started pinpointing the sound to the walls, more accurately the windows. " Discord, show yourself!" All of a sudden the picture depicting Discord as a puppet master came alive.

" Hello, Celestia, long time no see." The image of Discord weaved through the windows and stopped at the one with us defeating Nightmare Moon, where he proceeded to lean his back against mine. " It seems that the elements are missing eh? Wonder where they went to?"

" Don't play games with me, where did you hide the elements?"

" You're wasting your breath, Celestia, knowing trickster and chaos gods, he'll only give us hints and misleading directions."

" And who might you be?" His image got larger while he looked down at me. " You don't seem afraid of me."

" Should I be? I mean compared to you and my deities, you fall under the minor category of gods."

" Would a 'Minor' god, be able to steal six powerful objects from a secured location and hide them who knows where!"

" There are many cases where a minor god would take a powerful object from a sacred place or god and hide them someplace else. Like with Loki and Thors hammer Mjolnir. And if the tales are true, the trickster usually ends up chained or imprisoned in some way."

" As fascinating as this is, the world is unraveling and ponies are suffering because of it! So could we please get back to where the elements are!?" Twi did have a point. Hopefully, Discord will give away something to their location.

" Fine, but I will tell you in my own way."

https://youtu.be/xmFm-lriPMM

When the last syllable was uttered, Discord left the room completely. No doubt to come up with some scheme. " Can we go home now?"

" What do you reckon he meant? Twists and turns and ending back where we started." Come on Jackie, you've lived with me long enough to know that this requires a different approach.

" Twists and turns. Twists and turns" Twilight started mumbling the same phrase over and over again while she looked out the window to the courtyard. Suddenly it hit her. "Twists and Turns! That's it, he must have hidden the elements in the maze!" Or not.

" Good luck my little ponies. The fate of-"

" Wait a minute!" Everyone looked at me. " The Jackass said 'Twists and turns are my master plan'. It doesn't mean the elements are in a place with twists and turns. It means he'll twist and turn us for his own amusement!" My words seemed to be dawning on all of them.

" Well, then smart guy. Where are the elements then?" Dash can always be a little brash at times.

" If you remember correctly, he said back at the beginning. This actually gives us two locations to look into, the Library where we all meet as a group or the castle where we found the elements. Knowing tricksters like Discord, he probably put it in the Library somewhere."

" That's....possible. But even if you find them, then what? You'll still need to imprison him in stone." Harsh.

" That's another thing I need to address. I don't think turning him into a statue is the best course of action. I mean don't get me wrong, we have to reverse everything he's doing, but that just seems cruel."

" What would you have us do then Joe, give him a slap on the wrist and hope for the best."

" Don't worry Twilight, I've got a plan on how to deal with him. But first thing's first, let's get the elements." I went ahead and slashed a portal to the front of the Library so Discord won't see us leave for where the elements really are. " Ladies first." The girls all went through the portal towards the front door of the Library, I turned to Celestia. " Wait Two hours and if the chaos is still going, think of something alright." Before I could get a response from her, I went through the portal as well. When I met up with them, I went inside the Library to see the girls searching for the elements.

" Where could they be? They've gotta be around here somewhere." Twilight and the others were searching high and low for where they might be. I slowly walked over to the E section and pulled out a book. I swear if the book is hollowed out, I'm gauging his eyes out.

I open the book to find the elements in the now hollowed-out book. What a cliche. " Found 'em!" The girls came over to find that indeed I have found them. I started giving them out, though I put Jackies on her myself. With all the girls armed, I lead them out the door. " Alright, girls don't fire without my say so." They all gave a nod of understanding.

I went to the front yard and took my shirt off, Jackie immediately started swooning. I took a deep inhale with my ax raised high. " Discord! Come out, worm and make WAR!" My voice echoed throughout Ponyville and beyond. At first, I thought my plan would need a little tweaking until a school of fish swam past me through the air. All of a sudden the dirt beneath me turned a checkerboard pattern and a whole expanded in front of me. " Seems my plan worked."

Out from the hole, came out Discord much like Bugs Bunny in Looney Toons. " Why aren't any of you in the maze getting corrupted?" Ha, called it.

" Because like I told them, you said the elements were back where we began. The twists and turns were just something you added to throw us off. Had I not been with them to tell them otherwise, they most likely would go in that maze." As I rambled on, I would slowly remove my weapons adding to the drama. This got his full attention. " Now being the sportsman I am, I hereby challenge you to a one-on-one duel."

He sneered as I called him to a game whereas I completely bypassed his. " What's the nature of this little game?"

I Had to be careful with my wording and rules. One small slip-up could spell doom for the others. " It's actually quite simple since we both seem to have a bit of magic at our disposal, we'll use it to have a spoof-off. The concept is we have to throw whatever we can at each other to make the other submit. We can fight in different fields, any weapon, and any form."

A devilish smile crept on his face. " Rules?"

" Again, simple. If you get knocked out cold, you lose. If you quit, you lose. You or I do anything that would be classified as a cheap shot" I pointed over to the girls. " those lovely ladies will blast us with a rainbow death beam. If you bring in an ally to fight with you, they have to be a magic construct, or you will lose the fight immediately. Finally, and this is just for everyone's safety, no huge explosions or natural disasters. Best out of five wins." Discord rolled the idea in his head, while his head was spinning on his head. Finally, he had one last question to add.

" What are the stakes?" I pondered what the alternative to him becoming a crapper for birds for the next thousand or so years. After a minute of rolling it around in the old hat rack, I'd done and come up with something.

" If you win and that's a big if, you can leave and do whatever it is you want with no retaliation from me. But if I win, you become my and my families Familiar, til the end of my days on this plane of existence. That means help with whatever we ask of you and don't cause trouble for the populace at large."

" You're not going to turn me into a statue?" He seemed interested that his punishment wasn't becoming a lawn ornament.

" No, I'm not. Lord of chaos or not, no one deserves to be turned into a rock for the birds to crap on." The others seemed to be surprised that I was willing to just let him go in case I lose. What they didn't know is that I was sending a telepathic link between me and Jackie saying to blast him if he wins and wants to make more chaos. Hey, I said I wouldn't retaliate, they got the go-ahead to blast his ass into a giant paper-weight.

The lord of chaos thought over my proposal. On one hand, if he wins, he gets the freedom to do whatever he wants. On the other hand, if he loses, be basically becomes a genie without a lamp and has some freedoms. Either way, he won't be returned as a hunk of rock in a fancy garden. " Alright, I'll accept your challenge."

" Excellent, since you were the one to be challenged, you can pick our first battlefield." It's only fair. Discord pondered on what to do till he finally got an idea. With a snap of his fingers, the surrounding area turned into Dracula's castle, slightly damaged of course. With another snap, discord made himself into Tom Hiddleston. Okay, I see where this is going, time to play the part. " So the only way to defeat you, is to kill you?"

" Correct." He even changed his voice, nice.

I let out a small bit of laughter as I really started to get into character. " So be it!"

https://youtu.be/9vHuFQ8MKBc?t=35

After our fight, the world returned to normal as did Discord and I. One down, two to go. " I believe it's my turn to pick the field."

" Yeah, whatever. I'll be sure to put you in your place." the bite I gave to his neck started to heal rapidly so he was good for another round.

" Your words are as twisted and feeble as an old woman's!" I decided to conjure something that reminds me of my ancestors. And that's how we ended up outside a mead hall with three shields each and a sword. Discord took the form of a large redhead that looked like he could lift a small tree from its roots. As for me, I turned into an older smaller man than him. just for a little added flair, I added some spectators to watch and commentate.

" This old woman will send you to the next world!" And so the challenge begins. ( Start at 30 seconds in. End it at 2:50.)

https://youtu.be/lM5FTQjMYpg

The girls were worried when it seemed that Discord kept destroying my shields. When I went and chopped his head off, everyone but Jackie threw up. I went and picked up his head which had turned back to its original form and placed it back on his body. " I believe that's two ta none son."

" Laugh it up monkey boy, it's my turn to pick the fight." Why do they always call me monkey boy? Hell with the wings I look more like an angel. An angel of death.

" Alright you hybrid of an interspecies orgy gone wrong, bring on the pain!" All the girls and a few residents who came out of hiding laughed at the little jab I gave him. Though from the steam coming out of his ears and the fact his eyes turned into literal daggers, he probably didn't appreciate it.

" That does it you mongrel, prepare for an ass-kicking!" The scenery turned into a grassy field, and before I could pick my character, He turned me into a predator, while he became a Yakooza soldier wielding a katana. Crap.

https://youtu.be/WV739GC2dr0

When we both dropped dead and the scenery changed back, Jackie ran over to my side immediately. " Joe, speak to me. Come on, say something!" When I didn't respond or move, she started to tear up. " Come on, you can't be dead! You can't leave me and Luna alone!" When I still didn't say anything, she openly cried onto my chest.

Another moment later I opened my eyes. " ( Gasp) By the gods that hurt like Hell!" Before I could say more, Jackie wrapped her hooves around my neck and wouldn't let go. " Jackie, Jackie I need to breathe still!" She let me go long enough to let me get a look at her. " Do you wear that long face for me?" She just gave me a small smile and nuzzled my neck lovingly.

" I thought I lost you when Discord cut you down." She just kept crying as no doubt worse case scenarios kept running through her head. Time to reassure.

" Honey, look at me." She looked into my eyes. " Before the alicorn powers, only time could kill a werewolf. We can take some heavy hits and get knocked out. But we always come out on top." My speech seems to be working as the waterworks in her eyes slowed to a small trickle. " And now with an alicorns power and the potion, Luna brewed for you, we can be together for eternity." I brought her in for a long passionate kiss to further reassure her that she and Luna are stuck with me.

The moment would have lasted longer, but a certain lord of chaos had to ruin it. " Yes very touching but I believe we still need to determine a winner here. Oh, and by the way, that was definitely my win."

" Well since I fell first, I guess the win is yours. But remember, it's my turn to pick the field." It didn't take me long to choose what I hoped would be our final battle. With the snap of my fingers, the landscape became the front gates of the ancient city of Troy. I went ahead and gave Discord the guise of Prince Hector while I took on the looks of Achilles. Jackie went back with the others as Discord and I sized each other up. " Prepare yourself Discord. You won't have eyes tonight. You won't have ears or a tongue. You'll wander the Underworld blind, deaf, and dumb and all the dead will know! This is Discord, the fool who thought he could kill Joseph." I wish my name could sound more intimidating, but nothing to do about it now.

https://youtu.be/NQ62frK74u0

After our last battle, Discord lay at my feet defeated and broken. The girls swarmed me and showered me with praise. When I felt enough of their gratitude I went over to Discord and offered my hand. " You were a good adversary Discord, but the battle is mine. Now I believe we had a deal?" He took my hand but when I went to pick him up, he just gripped my hand tight and put his face in mine.

" What makes you think I would ever really agree to such a thing? I'm the master of chaos, not some creature that takes orders from a simpleton like you." I gave him a shit-eating grin that outmatched his by a huge margin. " What are you smiling about, loser?"

" The fact that I've got you right where I want you." I twisted his arm around so his head was in the mud. I channeled magic into my other hand and put it on the back of his head. When the magic ended, a binding spell was burned into his skin.

When the sigil was placed I let him up. " What did you just do to me?"

" Just a little binding spell that binds you to me. Now, how about you return everything to how it was before I decide to let the elements loose on you."

" If you even think that I'll-AAAHHHH. What the hell was that?" He received a volt of pain from the sigil.

" Yeah, I forgot to mention, if you refuse any command from the ones you're bound to, the sigil on your head will send a shockwave of pain through your nervous system. So...what are you going to do?"

" ( Exhales) I'm going to return everything to the way it was." He snapped his fingers and all the crap he pulled went back to the way it was. " There, everything's back to its original boring self. Now what?" Time to shock the masses.

" Now let's tell Celestia that you'll be staying with me and my two brides." A surprised look went right onto his face. " After that, I'm thinking of lunch and making up the guest room up for you."

" Why would you do that for me?"

" Because you have the potential to help others and improve the world in ways that you never dreamed of. Not to mention I need a male drinking buddy, I mean no offense ladies, but out of all of you, only Pinkie and Dash are considered heavy drinkers. So what do you say man, do you want to be my Familiar and have some freedom, or do you want to become a garden gnome for the rest of eternity?"

He pondered only for a second before answering. " Alright, I'll be your Familiar. But I want weekends off and three hours of 'me' time every day."

" You get one hour and Sundays off. Besides the only work, you'll do is when I or my family ask something from you." With the terms set we headed for Canterlot to tell Celestia that Discord will be living in my house and won't be a problem to anyone anymore, might have to tell Luna as well. Hey, where the hell is she anyway?

Luna's Pov

Back at the Huffstutler household, Luna could be seen in one of the bedrooms next to the master bedroom, putting up both night and country-themed wallpaper on the walls and got two cribs ready for the babies. When her work was done she sat down and rubbed her belly. " Soon my child, you and your brother will brighten all our lives when you get here." She scanned the room one more time before leaving and closing the door.

I went down the stairs to find an unusual sight. My Fiance, his father, Big Mac, and Discord of all people, playing poker in the dining room. " Hey, Discord, conjure some cold ones and deal."

" Excuse me, but what is going on?" They all stared at me from my outburst. " Well?"

" I'll explain." Joe pointed to Discord. " This one escaped his stone prison, the elements and I were called up to Canterlot to get said elements only for him to move them somewhere else." He took a swig from his beer. " He gave us a shitty riddle that had everyone but me fooled. We went to the library to find the elements were in a book then I challenged him to a fight. After four rounds I came out victorious and Discord here is now our Familiar till I drop dead for good. I told him he could have either the attic or basement."

The news hit me like a club, not the fact he did all that but the fact that it happened since this morning. You would think I would've noticed if Discord had escaped. Regardless, what's done is done and it would be nice to have an extra pair of hooves to help around the house. " I suppose that is alright. Where is Applejack?"

" After all the drama we had today she went up to our room to take a nap."

" Now that sounds like a good idea." Due to us carrying a child we've been feeling tired as of late, so we left most of our duties to The Apple family and Celestia. I went to my husband-to-be and kissed him on the cheek. " I think I'll join her for a nap, putting up the baby's room wore me out."

" Alright dear, we'll call you when it's dinner time alright." He returned my kiss before going back to his game. I took that as my cue to head upstairs for a nap and snuggle time with my wife-to-be.

Joe's Pov

When Luna went up to the stairs I focused on the game at hand. " So Discord. What do you think of your living arrangments so far?"

" A lot better than that patch of the garden I've been for the last thousand or so years. What made it worse was my mouth was open the whole time so a bunch of critters kept living in there." That sounds like it sucked. " A few times a pair of squirrels would go in there and have sex in my mouth!" Okay, now that is funny.

" Well as long as you check yourself from time to time, we won't have to turn you back in a worse position." He looked mildly annoyed at that comment.

" Alright enough of this crap, I'm fixing to win me all that money you been putting on the table!"

" Eeyup."

" Big Mac, one of these days, we got to get you to debate or something. You'll blow the competition with your deep insight and way with words." We all laughed at the joke and continued playing the game well into the afternoon. Like I said this morning. It started out weird, but in the end, everyone is happy and ready for the challenges the next day will bring. Hopefully, it won't hurt as much as today did.

Author's Notes:

Alright, so a little twist with the whole Discord story. How will this affect certain things in the future is actually puzzling me now that I'm thinking about it. The important thing to remember here is that no matter what happens, Joe will most likely come out on top. Or at least take the brunt of the problem.
Clip.

https://youtu.be/xq8Y0s67VKE

Next up, Nightmare Night.