Inter-universal travel always made me a bit dizzy, and that was when I was the one doing the driving. So, when we popped into existence in the middle of Mane Street, Ponyville it took me a few seconds to come to. I noticed with relief that I was back in the noodley body I was used to. “Hi, tails! I missed you!” I said, sounding like I was drunk. I looked around, noticed where I was, and sobered up instantly. “I specifically said, ‘Hive, Badlands,’ and I’m in Ponyville. First thing I’m doing tomorrow is practicing my long-range teleporting.”

I felt like something was working its way up my stomach and esophagus, with claws, which could only mean one thing. I pulled out a handkerchief. “KAH-CHOO!” Six scrolls shot out of my mouth. I picked them up, and read the seals. “Let’s see, Twilight, Celestia, Pharynx, Tempus, Discord, and an advert for a ‘Cheese of the Decade’ Club. No thanks. I’m guessing this means that everypony noticed the huge city popping up right next to the Hive. Better read Pharynx’s first.” I did, and chuckled. “Pharynx says we’ve been invaded. By yetis.” I thought for a second. “Isn’t a yeti a type of troll? That … eats ponies …” I said with growing horror. “Orvok did say that ponies were a food source in that universe. That could go wrong very quickly.”

I quickly scrawled a reply to Pharynx, telling him and the other Changelings not to panic, and that I would explain when I got home. I then scanned the other scrolls in a few seconds, and sent a “Reply All” response.

I looked behind me. Thorax was back to being his usual adorable Technicolor bug-moose self, he just had a few bandages, but didn’t look the worse for wear. Next to him was a satyr with reddish-grey hair and leg fur, long horns, red eyes, and a type of canister that looked like a giant urn strapped to his back. I could feel the SIVA humming in the canister so I assumed that this was Simon. Next to him was a green-furred yeti that had to be Az-Barko. Next to Az-Barko was a significantly smaller pair of yetis, who must have been Orvok and Grimgor, judging by their apparel, and the fact that Grimgors prosthetics were still there, by Orvok was Roxy, who seemed to be a strange hybrid of Faun and Dryad.

And next to Roxy was … crap! Chrysalis looked exactly like OUR Chrysalis!

I ran over to Chrysalis racking my brains. I then snapped my fingers. Chrysalis’s form morphed into an image based of the Alicorn she had been in the photo Simon had shown me. I quickly explained, “Don’t worry, it’s just an illusion spell. I thought actually changing your form would be a violation. The reason I did it is that you look exactly like the villian version of you from this universe, and if Twilight and her friends see you walking down the street, they’ll ‘Friend’ you to death. Literally. I’m very sorry about that. Of course, Twilight is good enough at magic that on a subconscious level, she’ll think something is ‘off’ about you. It’s the best I could do. We’ll deal with that when it happens.”

I spread my paws, and beamed, “Welcome to Ponyville, otherwise known as the party capital of Equestria! The residents are some of the friendliest ponies you could ever want to meet, just don’t refuse if they offer to throw you a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party, it breaks their hearts. You do not want to see a sad pony, it’s heartbreaking. It’s a little pastel, but you get used to it. So, any questions?”

Az-Barko raised his large hand “Why is Az-Barko fluffy? Az-barko is not supposed to be fluffy, his mate is.”

Orvok raised his hand as well “Yeah, and what animals are okay to hunt here? I don’t want to wind up murdering someone out of ignorance, but I need to make an offering to Quathak in thanks.”

Simon then raised his hand shakily, before pointing to his lower torso. “THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY LEGS?!”

I couldn’t help but snicker. “Sorry. You don’t exactly get to choose what you look like when you wind up on another world. I’ve had some fairly freaky forms I got stuck with. Once, I was a writhing mass of eyes, teeth, and tentacles. In a bow tie. At least the bowtie was cool. Az-Barko, you are fluffy because yetis live in cold conditions, and need a thick coat of fur. Your mate is probably still every bit as fluffy as you are. Simon, humans and ringwraiths don’t exist in this version of Equestria, so you got the closest thing it could find: a satyr, like from Greek mythology. I think you look fine. Orvok, you can hunt most things in the Everfree Forest, since they’re not sentient, but try not to do it in front of a pony, they’d freak out. I would warn you about the monsters in there, but I kind of feel sorry for the monsters at this point. Anything else about your forms need explaining?”

Chrysalis raised her hoof sadly “Would you be capable of breaking Solaris’ curse on me? I… miss looking like this.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so, it’s hard for even a Draconequus to go up against a god. It was my understanding that your curse does have a condition that breaks it? Maybe you could find a way to make that work,” I said, giving Simon a meaningful look. “Right! Well I suppose I could give you all a tour or something, I lived here for almost a year.”

Chrysalis smiled warmly as Simon nodded “As long as no one tries to take my Canister, I would love to take you up on that tour, how about you, er…” He looked to Chrysalis, not wanting to break her cover.

Chrysalis smiled “Call me Lilly. That was my name when I had this body.” She then looked to me “I heard that you have a child, wouldn’t they like to see his father has come back?”

My eyes widened. I sniffed the air once or twice. “OK, the air smells blue-green, so it’s Wednesday,” I looked at the clocktower in the center of town. “Three-fifteen… CRAP! ALBERT!!” I yelled.

Rather than using my common sense and just teleporting, I got down on all fours and ran in the direction of the school that Albert attended, Simon and company following me with worry. Please, please don’t let me be late! I skidded around a corner in the path, and came across the very hybrid I was looking for. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Albert was very unusual looking, even for someone from Equestria. He looked like a mix of pony and Changeling from the front, with a dark grey mix of fur and chitin, hooves, a muzzle, and a spiky black mane. His eyes were a blend of mine and Thorax’s: he had black sclera like me, and his irises were the same color purple as Thorax’s. From the back, he was a long boa constrictor with bright yellow and blue scales. He slithered so that his pony half was upright like mine, and used his tail for locomotion instead of his front hooves.

“Uh, hi Dad. Are you picking me up from school today? I’m more than capable of making it back on my own.” I was so happy Albert was his usual snarky self.

“I just wanted to make sure that you’re OK. I was … away for awhile, but it looks like I got back on the same day I was supposed to. I’m glad you’re alright. How was school?”

Albert shrugged. “About the same as it always is. We learned about Fillydelphia in geography and history. That was kind of cool. Why does Papa have bandages?” Albert asked, looking behind me.

I chuckled, “It’s a long story.”

Albert then noticed the rest of the group behind me. “Who are they?”

“Some friends I made in another universe. This is Simon, Roxy, Grimgor, Az-Barko, Orvok, and Chrysalis,” I said, pointing each of them out. “This is Chrysalis from another universe, and she’s very friendly, so don’t worry.”

Albert slithered over to them and regarded them with interest. He stuck out a hoof. “Hi, I’m Albert. I guess my dads went adventuring with you?” He then sniffed a few times, and then leaned over and smelled Simon. He broke into a broad smile that highlighted his fangs. Most ponies were unnerved by it, but he was just happy. “Ohmigosh! You’re a human!!! I’ve never met another human besides Dad! What was it like?! Did you drive a car or have a job? What were your favorite things to do? Did you like pizza?” Albert carried on like that for about ten minutes, barely pausing for breath.

I chuckled. “Albert, give him a minute, he just got here, and is still getting used to it.” I glanced at Simon. “Sorry about that, he’s … kind of obsessed with humans. My fault,” I said with a cough. “How could you even tell he was human?” I asked Albert.

Albert shrugged. “I could just smell it on him, I don’t know.”

Simon shrugged “I’m really not affected by fast speech, I had a friend who was an auctioneer. So, as for your questions. No, I rode a bike, as It was far cooler in my opinion, to get awesome muscular legs, especially since I liked kickboxing, and I did have a job, I was a computer technician and an EMT. And my favorite things to do were video games, three in particular, actually; Warframe, Destiny, and Shadow of War.” He then grinned “And anyone who doesn’t like pizza is a sorry excuse for a human,” He then paused thoughtfully. “Or Vegan.”

I laughed. “Actually, vegan pizza was my favorite. Oh. Uh …. No one here except griffons eats meat. If you do eat meat in front of ponies, they … uh … well, they … it isn’t pretty. I got used to it pretty quickly, but it’s hard to adapt to an all veggie diet. Thankfully, you won’t have to eat hay. I tried it once, I can’t see how ponies even eat that stuff.”

Orvok shrugged “Most animals avoid the badlands, so I had to hunt in the Everfree for offerings, anyway. And the people of Comraich are used to Bloodroot, potatoes, and cabbage, a watermelon if we splurge.”

I smiled. “Well, they’re going to have much better food to look forward to here, trust me. I’m glad.”

Az- Barko smiled as he sniffed the air “Smell mate nearing us, must have been sent further away.” He knelt down and looked to Albert “Wanna see momma Yeti belly?” Albert nodded.

I blinked. “Oh. Albert has a portal he uses to get from the Hive to Ponyville for school. She must be using that. I guess Pharynx showed her where it was. I do have to admit, he’s good at adapting, even if it is just to get a tactical advantage.”

Az-Barko offered a hand to Albert “Pig back? Sorry, not speak good common.”

Albert opened his mouth. “[Thank you for the offer, that would be great! Your common is very good for being a second language] ” I had no idea what language he was speaking, but Az-Barko seemed to understand it.

Az-Barko paused “You no have to speak home tongue for Az-Barko sake, father should understand son. It worries.”

I tilted my head for a second. “[Is this what you were speaking, Albert? I see you got my talent for languages.]” I shrugged. “Multi-versal translator. It’s a lifesaver sometimes.”

Az-Barko grinned “[Good, we can speak Black speech if we need to discuss sensitive matters.]

Simon nodded as He heard a pony scream girlishly “I think Al-Maru found Ponyville. We should move.”

Orvok sighed “Now I wish the squirt didn’t know Black speech, I feel the need to curse up a storm…”

I glared. “He’s picked up enough swear words in common Equestrian. Don’t you dare…”

Orvok deadpanned as we walked to the town square. “I would never swear when a kid could understand me, that’s just gross. Now, if the kid has no clue what you are saying, that’s a different story. For example, if I were to walk up to a mare, and say in Black speech “[Your face looks like something a timberwolf coughed up.]” But followed up with a thumbs up and acting like it was a compliment, they’d act like I complimented them.”

I commented, “Well, Pinkie Pie is probably fluent in Black Speech, knowing how random and talented she is, and Twilight knows when you insult her in any language. That’s experience talking, of course,” I grinned.

Orvok shrugged as he came across the ponies and Al-maru, who was trying to reason with a royal guard who had come to investigate. “I swear, I never even touched the impudent little worm! He just screamed and began throwing things at me!”

I walked over to the Prince, and gave my best withering glare. “Blueblood,” I growled.

“Oh, no. What are you doing here?!” Blueblood cried in exasperation.

“I get around, don’t you know that? If you don’t apologize to her, I swear I will sic Pharynx on you.”

Blueblood’s eyes widened in terror. “You wouldn’t!” he squeaked.

Simon smiled angrily as his SIVA canister glowed eerily. “Is someone antagonizing one of my royal guard? My, how scandalous, does he not know that assaulting a bodyguard to a king is a capital offence? Mayhaps I should discuss this with Celestia, I mean, she would not want a criminal among her nobility, would she?”

Blueblood drew himself up to his full height, and puffed out his chest, “Young stallion, I assure you, I-”

I interrupted. “Blueblood, you’re an amazing diplomat, but a lousy prince and brother-in-law. When I count to three, you are going to go home, and wait for a letter from Pharynx. Three,” I growled. Blueblood disappeared back to Canterlot in a flash of light.

Simon sighed “Wish I could've taught that braggart a lesson. Ah well.”

I smirked. “Oh, don’t worry, he’ll get a lesson. On occasion, that jerk dates my brother-in-law, who is the only being in Equestria that can lecture him and get away with it. Bonus is, he usually listens as well.”

Simon then looked to Al-Maru “Are you okay? I would of never taken you to combat if I knew you were with child.”

Az-barko withered under her glare before she sighed when she caught sight of Albert “You wanted to let him see my belly, hmmm? Well, I suppose I can forgive you. But you are making dinner tonight.”

Az-barko grinned “Love you. Make soup?”

She nodded “Sounds lovely. Now,” she sat on the floor, her armor covering her belly coming off, and her big, pregnant belly now free, with the rest of her still covered up, thankfully. She seemed, by my uneducated appraisal, to be quite far along. “Anyone want to feel young Az- Maloch kicking? He is very excited by all this attention, little gloryhound.~”

Az-barko grinned even more happily. “Az-Barko already good influence on child!”

Albert took off his book bag, and set it to the side. He very hesitantly reached out, and touched Al-Maru’s belly. He jumped a bit when he felt Az-Maloch kick. “Woah! Did I do that?”

I shrugged. “You were only in me for about four hours, and then you were an egg. While you were in me, you were quite impish though, yes.” I noticed the way everyone was staring, and gave a nervous cough, my cheeks burning. “Yes, I’m technically Albert’s mother. Don’t read too much into it.”

Simon shrugged “Hey, Draqons, er… Draqonequii are odd in my world too. Remind me to tell you about the trickster Draqon Frolir, brother to my worlds Discord.” he chuckled “Dude puts Loki to shame, Like, Loki went from male to a female once, and he gave a conventional birth. Frolir became a female and laid an egg twice his size, so as to have a child capable containing Celestias magic if she became evil. Sadly, poor old Tirek got locked in Tartarus along with Frolir...” he sighed “Another fatal cruelty on her part. Frolir was a free being, being confined like that killed him.”

Az-barko looked to the group, who were now looking sombre. “Why sad? Evil defeated today, celebrate! We free Tirek soon, just like Discord! We save everyone our Celestia hurt!”

Al-maru smiled softly “I will be keeping little Az-Maloch safe during that, as well as organizing a militia to defend Comraich.”

Grimgor then chuckled sadly as he looked to Albert “Ye know what, little squirt? Yer not half bad! Remind me of an old friend I had, back when the Comraich empire reached far and wide, further than the eye could see… He had his own littlun… Ach, I miss em.” He wiped at his eyes with his one biological arm.

Simon sighed as he looked to him “Really need to find a psychiatrist for my people, maybe five… We’ve been through some serious crap.”

Az-Barko frowned more “No need be sad, brother, let out. Az-barko know loss well.”

Grimgor teared up again and rubbed at his eyes “Naw, like ye said, now’s nary the time tae sulk!” He smiled at us “Now, I need a party set up. Who do I talk tae?”

I grinned. “Well, technically, you could ask half the ponies in Ponyville, but if you want a party expert, there’s only one mare for the job. This way!” I headed down the street, towards a building shaped like a giant gingerbread house.

As I walked in, the shop bell tinkled. Pinkie Pie looked up from behind the counter. She held out a large glass. “Oh! Hiya Sec! I’ve got your peanut butter malt all ready to go!”

“How did you know I was even com- Never mind. I don’t want to know. Thank you,” I said, setting some bits on the counter. I pointed at the group behind me, and between slurps said, “These fine people just saved their planet, and wanted to throw a party. I figured they should talk to a professional.”

Pinkie looked to Grimgor and gasped “Yowie zowie! I knew a doozie of a party was needed today, but I never knew it would be that big a party! You have got to follow me, I never met you, but this has to be the perfect party for everyone! Come-on-follow-me!”

Grimgor was grabbed by the prosthetic hand by Pinkie, and began to be dragged away “Wait, ye crazy mare! Tha’ arm has nae been tightened recently!”

Pinkie let out a “Huh?” at this, right as she pulled out his hand.

to this he sighed and prepared to calm down the ponies around us. “Sorry fer that, everyone, I lost most o me limbs a while back, had tae make some new ones fer meself, luckily I lost me leg first, else I wounld nary have the arms tae make the rest, but I’ve got a spare fer everythin back home.”

Pinkie looked to Grimgor slowly “W-why would you have to replace your arms and legs?”

Grimgor looked to me uncomfortably, as if asking if it was okay to tell her. I sighed, and nodded, before saying, “They’re from Equestria, just not this Equestria. It’s a long story. To sum it up, their Equestria is kind of an apocalyptic wasteland. I’ll let Simon and Grimgor tell the rest, they know it better. Come on, Thorax, there’s a booth over here.” I walked my husband over to the booth and sat down.

Simon and Grimgor explained their situation to Pinkie, and Pinkie then gave them a huge hug, promising to throw them her best party ever. Meanwhile, Al-Maru walked over to us and smiled “If possible, I was wondering, would you two like to be Az-Malochs godfathers? I know many who would like the honor, but… I felt I should ask you two first. You did save our world, basically.”

“You guys saved it yourselves, I just did the heavy lifting,” I said with a smile. “I would be honored, but … I think once things cool off in your Equestria, you’ll go back, and … I don’t know if I’d be able to go back. Travel between parallel worlds is supposed to be impossible, it took a god to get me there in the first place.”

A hideous, fluffy bird perched on the branch outside the window, and stared at me malevolently with its beady eyes. “Tweet, tweet!” the bird said in a cheery tone. At that point, I recognized the bird’s color scheme.

“Hello, Discord!” I said.

The bird disappeared in a flash of light, and then Discord was squishing me against the wall in the booth. “Morning, cousin!” Discord said in a bright voice. “And I am not hideous,” he said, casually breaking the fourth wall.

“What are you doing in Ponyville?” I asked.

“I live here, remember?” Discord looked at me with concern. He put on a stethoscope, and listened to my hearts. He then stuck a tongue depressor in my mouth. “Say ‘Aah!’”

“Gaack!” I spat it out. “Sorry, I’ve been a little busy these days.”

Discord grinned. “I know, you’ve got a serious case of Post-Adventure Syndrome.”

I could feel another letter working its way up my throat. “Not again!” I begged. I coughed it up.

It was addressed to Discord, who casually picked it up and began to read it aloud. “Dearest Discord, this may come as a surprise to you, but this letter has traveled across the void to reach you. I am currently writing this, in order to let you know, that no matter what version of my son you are, you are still my son to me, and not only do I love you with all my heart, but I am eternally proud of you. Please treat the enclosed crystal with care, it was specifically designed to feed you chaos, if ever you needed to act un chaotic for any period of time… Yes, I know how you acted for Fluttershy~ Go get em, your cross dimensional dad, Zmatok.”

Discord’s eyes lit up. “I have a dad!” he said in an excited tone. He was like a little kid on his birthday.

I noticed Simon’s expression, and said, “In this universe, Draconequui just sort of happen. I’m actually the first parent of my species.” I punched Discord’s arm playfully. “Good for you! I’m happy both of you got a happy ending.”

Discord took out the cyrstal, and swallowed it whole, to which Simon looked at him oddly. “What? I’m saving it for later.”

Orvok looked to Discord and smiled, having heard the letter “Good for you, Chaos king! So, who is this Fluttershy lady? Hmmm~? Is she maybe going to be cause of Little Diddy Discords?” Discord blushed as he chuckled “But seriously, have fun, as much as I wish our worlds Discord could of came, I am pretty sure he has to help Zmatok with our worlds cleanse of dark magic. So… you gotta have a blast as proxy!” He then pulled out what looked like a carved wooden totem. “Oh, and as a little gift from me to you, have this, should let you have a little fun if Timberwolves ever give you trouble. You smell like the Everfree is near where you live. Should let whoever holds it talk to them.”

Discord nodded. “It’s right next to our cottage. I can handle Timberwolves just fine,” he said, flexing his arms, “But thank you very much, Fluttershy would love the chance to talk to Timberwolves” he said, taking the totem. He then smiled, and said, “So, I hear you kids are having a party? I am an expert on fun!” He held out a piece of paper which gave him a degree in fun.

“Only a Master’s?” I teased playfully.

Discord shrugged. “I couldn’t afford the night classes.”

Grimgor then came back, and saw Discord, promptly kneeling to him before Simon dragged him up by the collar. “Sorry, Discord, you are kinda famous among my people, While I don’t think the full story should be heard by the ponies, especially with three young ones in the building, feel free to read my mind for the gist, I studied the records and had talked to the refugees.”

Grimgor blushed “S-sorry, sir, reflex, the kin honor ye a great deal…but I agree wit Simon, read his mind iff’n ye want the specifics, some things should nary be said in such pleasant company.”

Discord nodded, and began to get the story from Simon’s mind. His face went through a string of expressions so fast I think only I would have noticed. When he was done, he cleared his throat, and said. “Wow. I always knew Sunbutt was a grim stick in the mud, but that’s … on a whole new level. I never thought that that could have happened in Equestria. Cantok Seven, maybe, but not Equestria.”

Orvok frowned grimly as well “I may of gone overboard in reaction to Roxy… after Simon was finished, I gave her a very old Druidic curse, one that I don’t really know how I pulled it off… She will grow a tree gradually, living in agony as she is absorbed by it, then spread through it.” He sighed “I think I should go and see how Roxy is doing, she can’t be taking dying that well. Quathak knows I didn’t.”

As Orvok walked off, Simon smiled to me, the party almost fully planned, and just needing the set up as he saw the rest of the elements come in. he winced as he saw Twilight, as if remembering something. “Going to have to apologize to my worlds Twily, if it’ll even be accepted…” Simon looked to me and Discord and smiled “Might as well greet her!” As he walked to her, he smiled his best, and bowed. “It is my pleasure to meet the princess of Friendship, I am Simon, King of the Kin. Who in this world have been morphed into Yetis, for some reason.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Uh, … Secundus?”

I nodded. “They’re with me, don’t worry. It’s kind of a funny story. They’re harmless. I think. Mostly.” Twilight didn’t look remotely reassured, but she never did with me anyway, so I didn’t worry.

King Sombra walked in after the elements, and looked around the room with interest. “Good heavens,” he said in an amused tone. “We’ve been invaded by Yetis and a satyr. Should I be worried? I take it this is your doing?”

Discord pointed at me. “Actually, this is his fault for once.” I huffed, but let it slide since he was right.

Sombra examined Simon’s canister with interest. His horn lit up. “Hmm. Interesting. I’ve never seen magic and technology combined quite this well. Of course, in my day, we didn’t have all of these fancy gadgets, and we had to clear a path through fifteen feet of snow just to get vegetables in,” he said in a great impression of an old geezer.

Twilight rolled her eyes at Sombra’s comment. Twilight then cleared her throat, professionalism taking over. “Greetings, King Simon, I welcome you to Equestria.” She extended a hoof in greeting. “I’ve never met a satyr before.”

Simon shrugged and shook her hand “Never been a satyr before, usually have a different body, or a mass of bodies I guess you’d call it. But closest thing here that I have is this canister full of SIVA, er… Nanomachines.” he then looked to Sombra and smiled “It is good to see this world’s Sombra is free of darkness’s clutches. It was… disheartening, hearing my world’s reports on your fall. Rest assured, you were a hero to your people, in my world, who sacrificed himself body and soul to keep a tyrant at bay.”

Sombra looked disheartened at that, but he shrugged it off. “I am … sorry to hear that. I’m quite attached to my life, I’ve cheated death … twice. I think, it’s a little hazy. You’ve got the half-’n-half noodle to thank for my reformation.”

I groaned. “Sombra, you did most of it on your own, I just had the crazy idea and kept you company.” I looked at Simon. “It’s a long story. Lots of biting and shouting. Kind of worth it, though, I’ve got a new friend to annoy, and one I connect pretty well with.”

Simon nodded “Yeah, I know what it’s like when dark magic takes a hold of an uruk, can only imagine what it’s like for a unicorn, who is attuned way more to all magics.” He shuddered “That darn magi thought he could reverse millennia of freedom from dark magic, not on my watch.”

As Simon replied, my eighth sense started tingling. That meant another Draconequus was around, and it wasn’t Discord setting it off. The shop door banged open, and a tall, thin unicorn stallion walked in. He was chalk white with an long inky black mane and pale grey eyes. He was wearing a black cloak that looked like it had been woven from shadow, and I noticed that under the cloak, his cutie mark was a scythe and hourglass. He walked up to the counter casually. “One death by chocolate shake, please.”

“Comin’ right up!” Pinkie called. Her hooves blurred, and she held out the shake. The stallion smiled, and took it, setting some bits on the counter. His hoof brushed Pinkie’s and she shuddered. “Oooh! I feel like somepony walked over my grave!” He gave an amused snort.

The stallion then spotted us, and swept over. “Discord, Secundus,” he greeted.

“Hello, Encore,” I said with a grin. “I see you’re trying to blend in today, you’ve even got an almost normal voice.”

Encore, the Spirit of Death and Entropy shrugged, taking a sip of his shake. “If I walked down the street the way I normally look, ponies would have heart failure, and I don’t need any extra work.” He did have a point, normally Encore looked like a Draconequus skeleton with a cat’s skull and a bony blade on the end of his tail. He also had a voice that went straight to your brain without passing through your ears first.

Encore looked at me, and grinned. “A little bird tells me that you and your husband have been busy.” He peered at Simon, and seemed to almost glare at him. “I never really like the undead, I always feel like I’m being personally cheated. On the other talon, you did help a large number of undead and trapped souls in your universe find peace, so I suppose I can let it slide.” He was looking more friendly at that point. “Besides,” he said with a grin, “I’m going to get you eventually, it’s just a matter of patience, and I’ve got all Eternity.”

“Encore, don’t scare him, he’s just had a horrible day.”

Simon shrugged “Actually, as long as my people are well taken care of first, I really don’t care. It’s just…one, tiny little thing that’s nagging at me.” He smiled “I doubt you have sway over my world, from what Secundas has said in my presence, you are bound to one universe, unless he was wrong, and Draqonequii can travel the multiverse freely, with the permission of the local gods? If so, I’d love to try to get it so he can visit sometimes. Guy deserves a good bit of vacation time with the people he helped liberate and such.” He then sat back in his booth “Besides, I didn’t make myself undead, that was the guy who ripped me from my home world and slapped me in my body.” He then looked thoughtful “Actually, does being banished from death count as undead? When I had a heart, in my world, it beated, and Now that I have one again, it beats… huh… welp, disturbing thoughts to haunt my dreams later.”

He then looked to Pinkie “Oh, and his milkshake was kind of a pun, since he is death incarnate. Er.. a spreader of death? Does death happen because you exist? The workings of Draqonequii confuse me. Oh, and my universes Discord would probably want me to say hi. So hello to Pinkie and Encore from Discord.”

“Thanks!” said Pinkie.

Encore smiled. “I don’t spread death exactly, nor am I a reaper, I just … keep it tidy, and in control. If there is a problem with death or undeath, I get called in. I can go to your universe, simply because there is a problem with undeath there. Was.” He corrected. “Different Draconequii have different universes in their jurisdiction depending on if the problem falls into their territory. Besides, Sec’s a tenderfoot, so the gods aren’t exactly going to let him run wild.”

“Thanks,” I huffed.

Encore then said, “While the pun is delightful, I just enjoy chocolate. It’s quite good.” He glanced at Sombra. “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Sombra shrugged. Encore’s watch, which he hadn’t been wearing a second ago, beeped. “Blast! Well, duty calls. Have fun, all.” He quickly faded out.

I chuckled. “He’s actually the least strange member of the family, believe it or not.”

Simon shrugged as he sat in his booth, only for Lily to walk up and smack him, “Don’t take your death so easily!”

Simon raised his brows in confusion “Why not? I mean, aside from-”

Lily smacked him again “You are surrounded by people who love you dearly! Don’t treat our feelings like they don’t matter! I can’t… I can’t lose you too.”

She then walked off angrily, Simon barely noticing the tears in her eyes as grimgor grunted “I’ll Never get the fairer sex. Bloody confusing… And I work with magical science!”

Simon nodded slowly and got up “I’m going to check on her.”

Grimgor then smiled before reaching into his pouch at his belt and opening a locket… he looked longingly into the picture inside, touching it gingerly through the glass.

I noticed the look that Thorax and Albert were giving me, and sighed. “All right my empathic brood, what’s up?”

“Oh.” Thorax said. He chuckled. “I sometimes forget that you can’t sense what someling else is feeling. It’s just …” He chuckled again. “That’s going to be an interesting relationship. Who is she?” Thorax asked Grimgor.

Grimgor took a shaky breath “Was me daughter, part o the reason I’m missing me limbs is I went a little crazy when the magi got her… I went ta a millitary outpost, and jes started fightin, tryin ta save her… I made it ta her cell… she wern’t breathin.” He grunted as he wiped his tears away “Tha was the day I learned our Celly was harvesting Uruks and Ologs fer the SIVA in our veins...” He looked to me, staring me dead in the eyes “I dinnae care who she was tae the Magi, ta us, she was a monster that destroyed families.” Grimgor grunted “She was the tyrant tha’ Simon talked bout…”

Sombra said, “I … know a lot about tyrants. Trust me. I … used to be one. I was out of my head and drunk on Dark Magic, but … sometimes I can remember everything I did,” he said in a small voice. “I’m sorry to hear about your daughter. I … let my wife die, after keeping her alive longer than I had a right to. She’s been dead for over a thousand years. I forget it’s been that long, but at least I made the history books,” he said with a grin. “I never really liked Celestia, she was too proud, but your universe’s version sounds like a nightmare I’d give somepony in the old days.”

Grimgor nodded “Let me tell ye, once the SIVA is out of an Uruk, or an Olog, a nightmare is putting it lightly. All the darkness that the SIVA in us let us resist floods in, and we become feral monsters… I had tae put me own baby girl down like a dog, just so that she wouldn’t kill anyone. Lost a chunk outta me shoulder trying tae stop her first…”

I winced. “Well … I don’t think your Celestia’s going to hurt anyone else again. If she does, I’m pretty sure you can take her down again. I kind of have to wonder what would turn a person into … that.” Discord leaned over and whispered in my ear for about two minutes. “Really? Really?! Wow. OK. No, I can see that, it’s just …. I don’t know. It’s probably none of my business. I think we should probably celebrate our victory as well as remember our losses. You may not have all your limbs, but I’m guessing you can dance,” I said with a grin. “If you can’t dance, you’ll have to anyways, the ponies just sort of pull you in. Even I can’t stop it.”

Grimgor chuckled “Sounds like business as usual, then, Except this time, there's a helluva lot more to celebrate than usual, and a whole helluva lot less tae remember.” He then winced as he actually did remember something “Oh, uhh… keep our recently morphed changeling friend away from alcohol, I don’t know a bloody thing about the Changeling Queen here, but...well, our Chryssi gets a little weird when she gets tipsy.” He then smirked “Although, apparently she is the reason karaoke got so popular in our free time.”

I snickered. “Will do. Thankfully there isn’t very much alcohol in this universe, otherwise Thorax might have got me drunk on our first date.”

Thorax’s eyes went wide. “I wouldn’t have done that! Besides, you’d be scary if you were drunk. You’re scary enough when you’re sober.”

I hugged him. “Aww, thank you!”

Albert asked, “So is Chrysalis my grandmother from some alternate universe?”

I shrugged. “I think in that universe, she’s your … aunt? Thorax’s sister, I think, not his mother.”

“How does that work?” Albert asked.

I shrugged again. “I don’t know, it’s the first alternate universe I’ve been too. I didn’t exist there, so you didn’t either. Technically, Thorax didn’t either. I think relationships are up to the individual writer.”

Discord smirked. “Nice job. I thought you hated admitting there’s a wall there.”

I sighed. “Well, I may have all Eternity, but even I can’t stay in denial that long. I’m getting there, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to enjoy it as much as you and Pinkie.”

“What wall?” asked Thorax.

“It’s … not that important. It doesn’t affect too much. (I hope.) Want to dance?” Thorax nodded. “Would you all excuse us? Enjoy the party while it’s still here!” I swept my husband off to the dancefloor.

[Simon’s Pov]

I was walking after Chrysalis after she walked off, wondering how to make her feel better, or at least get my point across without compounding the problem… “Come on, Lilly, let me at least talk this out with you…Please?”

My voice had apparently reached her, because she came out from wherever she was hiding to tap me on the shoulder from behind. Never could quite get how she could be so darn stealthy. I turned to her and frowned as I saw that she had been crying “Oh man… ummm... look, I am so sorry I was so insensitive… It was wrong of me to say that stuff, I was honestly just saying what came naturally, it may of been ugly, but it was the truth… If comraich, that means you, your people, and mine, are well taken care of, then I am completely content. I mean, I would like to maybe live a long while, but… I just wanted him to know that I will fight death tooth and nail until everyone dear to me is well cared for.”

Lilly... Ah screw it, Chryssi blushed a bright green “Y-you… you actually care about me and my people?”

I frowned “When I said that I was bringing you into comraich, I wasn’t spouting a crock of crap. You are a part of the family now, and I would fight just as hard to protect a changeling as I would any Uruk or Olog.”

She blushed and smiled bashfully “Umm… thanks… I never had anyone actually care that much about me or my subjects before…”

I smiled “How about we go and see how the party is going? I bet Grimgor and Az-Barko are playing music by now.”

Chryssi frowned curiously “Wait, Az-Barko is a musician?”

I nodded “Yep, He plays a mean set of drums, and Grimgor kills on the Hurdy Gurdy. Oddly enough, Orvok can’t play music to save his life, but can do a little something called Kindle Heart, something that, as far as I know from the records, is a talent unique to his tribe. I bet that if i can move the party outside, he’d be glad to show everyone.”

She looked to me quizzically “What exactly is Kindle Heart? Sounds like some strange spell or something.”

I grinned, happy to have cheered her up, or at least caused her to focus elsewhere. The world seemed… brighter, when she smiled. “He can make fire and smoke dance like a person, as well as tell a story with it.”

She smiled, making my mood soar. “Now this I have to see!”

As we returned, we saw Pinkie come from downstairs with, believe it or not, all the instruments that they needed, including some tools for starting a fire. “So… we taking the party outside, or is this place fireproof?”

Pinkie shrugged. “I’ve nearly burned it down one or two teensy little times, so Mr. and Mrs. Cake asked me to do fire parties outside. Come on! I’ve never seen fire magic before!”

Orvok smiled at Pinkie “Well, you are in for a treat, as a kindle heart, I was particularly skilled!”

Az-Barko grinned, his teeth showing as Al-Maru watched on with a grin “Never had so happy occasion for playing! Glad get to play drums for friends and family!”

I grinned at Orvok as he and the others took their respective instruments. “So, what’d they do to convince you to do it?”

Orvok grumbled “They made pouty faces at me… damn ponies are way too adorable….” As we got outside, he set up a large fire pit and signalled Grimgor and Az-Barko to start playing.

As the music began to play, So too did Orvok begin to move, and sway as if his body was suddenly alive, the fire he had started as a small ember in the wood beginning to pulse and sway with him as he had it start to form shapes of fire and smoke, shapes of Uruks and Ologs, all dancing and celebrating, as he had them join in his performance, the spectres of smoke and flame began to chant as he sang in an old tongue of Black speech, used only by the eldest of tribes, me translating for the ponies. “[May the flames of war be snuffed, and the smoke of it’s hate be quenched, may the fires of youth burn bright, tonight! The ancestors see our celebration, our triumph, and they celebrate with us as well! There is no loss tonight, only the embers of those we love dancing in the winds of time!]”

He then stomped once toward the fire pit, and the pyre erupted skyward with a seething inferno momentarily, only for the fire and smoke people to begin dancing all around us in the air, until he held a hand skywards and said what I knew was quite the blessing for him to give, which I again translated. “[Bless these people with your strength, your courage! May they have as many heirs as there are fangs in the Old Frost’s maw! May their stories never be forgotten, they are our kith, our kin! We embrace them this night as brothers and sisters in arms! May the forces of darkness never reclaim us, nor may they ever darken their hearths!]”

Orvok then took a long pull from a water skin and spat it into the fire as he put it out, having the smoke form what looked like an old Uruk dressed in scholars clothes, with what looked like several clocks floating around him, as well as crystal prismsfloating around an Uruk in a noble's clothes. . “[Praise be to the light father and the change bringer, freedom bringers to our people! May their memory never fade, and may his blessings reach us all!]”

I noticed Secundus had been “sitting” next to his husband. He was sitting cross legged on empty air, his tails wrapped around him. He was also upside down. Discord was floating next to him, I wondered if Draqons just hated gravity. When the story was done, Secundus turned himself right side up, and snapped his fingers. A replica of the Northern Lights filled the air above us, the ribbons weaving and changing colors. Secundus shrugged. “Every time I do fire magic, I nearly burn down the Hive. We can’t fit a disco ball out here, so I thought this would be my contribution.”

Al-Maru looked to her husband and smiled “You played wonderfully, my love. I love hearing you play.”

Az-barko bashfully hugged Al-Maru before he looked to Sombra “Any questions about us, just ask, happy to tell. Orvok know most stories about our gods, me and Maru know military stories, and grimgor is good for funny stories of Comraich.”

Grimgor chuckled “My favorite was when we tried mixing blood root extract with grog. Medical wing was a fun place for once then, people dancing naked in the halls. Talking bout fairies and funny lights. I found one guy trying to dance with a very confused Graug.”

Sombra looked at his marefriend and grinned. “Right, you take mythology, I’ll take military, then we’ll meet up for funny stories.” Sombra stood on his hind legs, and cupped his front hooves around his mouth. “Sec! Twily and I need a lot of parchment over here!” Secundus snapped his fingers, and Sombra was buried in parchment, about a dozen quills floated down, and four bottles of ink fell down, miraculously not breaking. Sombra stuck his head out of the pile. “Thank you!” he called with a wave.

I smiled as I walked with Orvok and Twilight, eager to hear Orvoks famous storytelling. Orvok cleared his throat “Okay, i think we’ll start with the creation myth and the jobs of our gods, so that Your...Boyfriend? Husband? Well, Sombra can get some of his military information, I think he’d like to hear how we fell to the darkness. That okay, Twilight?”

Twilight nodded, “Yes, that makes sense. I think he’d like that too. He’s not my husband,” she mumbled, a blush showing through her fur. “He’s just my coltfriend. We aren’t planning to get married right away. Secundus keeps saying it’s been five years, but not everypony can find their soulmate instantly,” she said with a laugh. “I swear, I knew those two were perfect when I saw how embarrassed they were.”

Orvok shrugged “I can’t really relate, The Kin move fast, kinda required when you live like we did. But anyway, I am sorry for assuming, that was rude and intrusive of me. Anyway, creation myth.”

Orvok cleared his throat “Originally, there was naught but shadows and fear, the souls of our people in the world were in constant torment and panic, everything was pure anarchy, not even chaos, just pure, total anarchy. Then, the lightbringer Trovin and his siblings happened upon our realm. He brought light to the darkness, iluminating the world, creating the moon, the stars, the sun, and time, he then looked to our world, and saw it was barren and desolate, so he called upon Quathak, mother of the wild hunt, she made our forests, our plains, our prey, and as she was ought to do, made our predators as well. Some may see this as cruel, but we, the kin knew, she loved us so much, that she wanted us to grow strong. She could not bear to see us grow complacent like so many other worlds had.”

He smiled “Then, Rovirn, lord of the high seas and all creatures thereign let his beloved ocean run into our world from his realm, and had his springs bubble forth into existence, giving us our streams and drinking water. He also gave us our unnatural cunning, you will be hard pressed to see as tactical a creature as an Uruk or an Olog.”

Twilight smirked. “You haven’t met a griffon or a dragon from this Equestria. They’re as cunning as the come.”

He laughed “Then, there came Or-Assik and Frolir, they saw that our bodies that had formed were not as magically potent as the bodies made for the other gods peoples, nor were they blessed with fangs, claws or talons, so they gave us a boon as well, we were given brothers who were masters of the forge, the most innovative of peoples in our world, the Olog-Hai. They made weapons so mighty that none could assail upon us, the dragons feared us, the harpies envied us, the magi… the magi hated us.”

He then made an arcane gesture while holding a pouch of dirt, a seedling quickly growing from it. “The gift that Frolir gave us was equally as great, he gifted us with the arcane arts, made us able to open our minds to the mystical energies all around us… He gave us the ability to counter the Magi when they tried to dominate us with magic, let us learn how to etch and imbue magic into everything we saw and beyond, not to mention, his antics often gave us something to laugh at, remind me to tell of the time Frolir taught our worlds Discord how Chaos was neutral. He made a party that lasted weeks on end, without us losing a single days worth of progress. Frolir was… an odd god. He could interfere in other gods domains without repercussion… He could make the forests dance, and the oceans sing if he wished... We all miss him dearly.”

He then turned grim “And that was the problem that led to our fall by the third era, in our hubris, we thought we could slay the being that had tortured our ancestors, as we had already become the global superpower that was equal in greatness to The Magi nation. Between the two of us, we owned equal halves of the world in our empires, the dragons had joined us, and the harpies had joined the Magi… It was not enough. The being, known as Srotha, was the heart of darkness of our world… You may wish to bring in Sombra now.”

Twilight nodded, and gave a piercing whistle, like the kind you would call a sheepdog with. Sombra excused himself, and trotted over to us.

Orvok nodded soberly “We were just about to discuss my peoples fall from grace, and the long, long descent into darkness, ending with my people alienating every ally they had made, and unmade our dominion…”

He took a shaky sigh “As we were not a normal race during our enlightened era, we were granted the ability to reincarnate as the same basic person, with the same magical potency and rate of growth, hell, even our memories… We remembered the horrors that Srotha visited upon our souls for so long before our gods saved us. We hated him so deeply, that we gave up the safety of our realm to venture after him, we fought our way to him alongside the many Draqons of the realm, our worlds demigods, known in this realm as a Draconequus… We fought so many horrors, so many abominations, that many of us went mad by the time we reached him, driven on by the soul goal of killing him. Making him pay… it consumed us. Little did we know, that was his darkness beginning to take root… and it only grew as we climbed his tower… by the time we had reached the top, the light in us was all but snuffed. Our Light father, Trovin himself… He called us back right as the last glimmer of light was destroyed in our souls...We were made into something dark, something cruel… The Umbruk, the dark Orcs, and the Ologlaria, the wild Trolls.”

He sighed “The things we did truly were abhorrent, we slaughtered families in cold blood, not for anything more than sport, strangled babes in their cribs… ate our own people, nothing was beneath us, then Zmatok came… He brought a change unlike any the world had ever seen, He redeemed us. Brought the light back when all the other gods had given up hope. The light he gave us burned the taint away, it was agonizing… but beautiful...we were no longer the horrible monsters that lurked in others nightmares, we were able to control ourselves again, and not be puppets to Srothas wil. The demons that wore us were purged, but their power and influence left marks, we were no longer the dominion we were. We barely held a nation, and by the time that Simon came, the retribution from other nations, our version of Equestria in particular… they reduced us to a single city. The rest of us, those who did not live in the city, were slaves, dead, or just simple tribes like my own. We still remember what he made us do over our many lives in his clutches… It is like a knife to the heart.” he sighed “There are some, like Az-barko, who believe redemption is in the near future if we are good to others enough, but me? I say, we need to recover our identity as a people first. We need our gods to return, reincarnate, and be freed, before we can ever hope to get back to what we once were.” He smiled “I had just found out where to find Frolirs corpse when we went to fight our worlds Celestia. Turns out his body is trapped in a mana leeching bubble, right next to our worlds Tirek, who is actually a stand up guy where we are from. If a bit vindictive, and dark... and quite a lot of anger to him, but hey, you’d be too if you were forced into a cramped cell and had nothing to look at but your father's corpse and a few crazed lunatics for a few millennia. We are trying to figure out how to break their bonds without, well, killing them.”

“I’d suggest finding their hearts before you do anything. A god without a heart is just an echo,” said Secundus from behind Twilight. “You’d need someone who knows what to look for, a local Draqon of chaos might help.”

Twilight had nearly jumped out of her skin when Secundus spoke. “Do you have to do that every single time?!!”

“Yes,” Secundus replied with a straight face.

“Were you eavesdropping?” asked Sombra.

Secundus shrugged. “I can hear what you’re saying from thirty feet away, and I can’t tune it out. I don’t mean to, but yes, I eavesdrop. I don’t really have a choice. That was a … horrific tale. I … hold on a second.” Secundus disappeared and then reappeared with Albert in tow. “If you were going to free a god from chains designed specifically for them, how would you do it?” Secundus caught Twilight’s expression. “Ok, Ok. I was going to tell you, Albert … just knows things sometimes. Lots of things. Like, omniscient level knowing things, it just lasts for only a minute, and we never know when it’s coming or going. Noling or Draconequus has any idea how he does it.”

Albert thought about it. “Change the scent,” he said simply. “Discord’s chains only focused on Chaos, you blasted them with everything, and they broke. Find a way to get the chains to not focus on the god.” Albert shuddered. “I hope nobody chains me.” Albert blinked. “Sorry, did you want to talk about something, Dad?”

Secundus chuckled. “Annndd, we’re back to normal.” He started counting under his breath. “Three … two…” Albet collapsed into a stringy heap, and started snoring loudly. Secundus picked him up and wrapped him around his neck, like an oversized scarf. “He’ll be fine in about an hour. Having the whole omniverse in your mind really takes it out of you, even if you can’t remember it.” Secundus snickered. “I love my family dearly, but we can be a little strange sometimes…”

Sombra snickered and said to me, “I wouldn’t recommend messing with his family. I tried to do that once, and he nearly wiped me from history.”

“I SAID I was sorry!!” Secundus exploded.

I grinned as I looked to Secundas “I don’t think he has to worry about that from us. He’s a national hero, anyone tries to mess with him, I pity the bastard.” I chuckled “You should see when Celly sent some assassins after me, Az-Barko pummelled the first guy into a red paste, then forcefed that paste to the other assassin she sent.”

Az-Barko shrugged “Az-Barko protective friend, they try to kill guard friends and king friend, not just take that lying down.”

Secundus nodded. “I can relate to that.” He sighed. “First I unintentionally become a king by marrying one, now I’m a national hero.” He threw his paws up. “What’s next, godhood?!”

“Nope,” Albert muttered sleepily from around Secundus’s neck.

Secundus chuckled. “Hey, it’s alive! How are you? Feeling better?” Albert nodded. “Want me to stop using you as a fashion accessory?” Secundus asked.

Albert buried himself further in Secundus’s fur. “Nope. You’re warm.”

There was then a surge of chaotic energy in the area. It was like Discords energy, but both infinitely more intense and more refined at the same time. “Well Hello there!” I turned around to see someone who looked like the spitting image of Hank from earth, but… he was almost radiating pure chaos. Before I could even open my mouth he chuckled “Sorry, Simon, I am not the Zmatok you or Sec know, I am Zmatok Alpha-Beta-5140, basically I am a much lower tier Zmatok than the one you two have been meeting with, from a much less chaotic and far more boring Equestria. The reason I am here is to deliver a message to all of you.”

He took out a letter from mid air and let some readers materialize over his eyes. “Let’s see… The council of chaos has agreed that they will allow Secundas free travel to and from the realm of Zmatok Alpha-0002, or Simon’s home realm Equestria, and have already spoken to the gods of this realm to allow such, as so long as he doesn’t do any more dramatic changes without a Zmatok visiting the gods of Secundus’s realm to ask for their direct approval.” he grinned “Here’s hoping I get chosen for that job, things are dreadfully boring in my realm.”

I then looked to Secundas and smiled as this Zmatok resumed. “To Discord, you also are free to visit Simon’s realm, but will be under close inspection while visiting by your dimensional counterpart, no worries, you will keep your noodle like form you are so fond of when visiting. We have ironed out that error that afflicted Secundas and Thorax.” He then turned the note over as if he was directed to “And lastly, This zmatok unit is to not only return the visiting life forms here, but to explain why there are multiple versions of Zmatok prime running about, not to mention why he zmatok Alpha- 0002 did not come in person…”

The Zmatok sighed “Ok, let’s see…. As per the laws of chance and chaos, there are infinitely many realities, and in some fraction of that infinity, is a group of realms where we zmatoks are worshipped as gods, or acting as gods. When one such world dies, the Zmatoks take the power from that realm and add it to the next strongest zmatok, The stronger the zmatok, the lower the number of the rank, ranging from Alpha-0001 all the way to Omega- Theta- 9999. There are more Zmatoks than that. But the weaker ones than that are simply unranked.”

Secundus chuckled. “I’d really, really rather not meet another version of myself. One of me is hard enough to live with. Some days, even I don’t want to be around myself. Heh. There’s probably an evil version of me out there wrecking planets. Anyway, I’m glad we’ll get to visit!” He turned to me and grinned. “Looking forward to more quests! Hopefully we’ll survive them, and it’ll be for less horrific reasons.” He turned to Zmatok. “Thank you. It’s a nice gift. Hope we don’t disappoint!”

Zmatok nodded and waved an arm as a portal opened in the middle of the room, just large enough for Az-Barko to fit through. “Sorry guys, but it’s time you were off, My regards to you all, the paperwork for this is going to be grisly…” He then yawned “Welp, after this job, I think it’s going to be time to feed on some change, recharge the old batteries.” He then looked to Me and Chryssi, us being the last of the visitors to go through “Go on, you crazy kids, go into the swirling hole in space time!”

I looked to Sec and smiled as Chryssi went through “Hope I see you later, oh noodly brother in arms of mine.”

Secundus nodded and waved. When we were gone, he looked to Thorax and Albert, grinned, and said, “Come on, my crazy family. Let’s go home.”