Bifrost
Chapter 12: Vol. I - Ch. 12: The Six of Us
Previous Chapter Next Chapter-APPLEJACK-
I walked into the arena and was greeted by the awesome sounds of Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, of all ponies, loudly cheerin’ my name, and hearin’ that gave me all the confidence I needed to ace this fight and then some.
“You’ve got some pretty noisy friends,” Sugarcoat said irritably, standin’ across the arena from me.
“Jealous?” I said with a smirk and a chuckle.
“Hardly,” she replied, rollin’ her eyes.
“I guess there ain’t nothin’ left to do but to do this then,” I said with an eager smile.
“Right,” Sugarcoat replied listlessly.
“Then let’s dance,” I said as the illusion was cast.
Our arena of choice was an ice-covered lake, almost no hidin’ spaces of any kind, just ice as far as the eye could see. I looked down and saw that there was indeed water under the ice and stamped my hoof a couple times to test the thickness of the ice. Didn’t seem like it was breakin’ easily.
“Come on, Applesack,” Sugarcoat said grimly, starin’ at me across the ice, “I don’t have all day.”
“Then why don’t you make the first move?” I said with a smirk, tiltin’ my hat in a show of mock-respect.
“I don’t need to move to beat you,” Sugarcoat said, and sure enough she was standin’ perfectly still.
I glowered at her and remained on guard, scrapin’ a hoof across the icy ground. I paced back and forth a wee bit, waitin’ and watchin’ and seein’ if she would really just stand there. She just blinked.
“Alright then,” I exhaled sharply and swallowed my nerves, “have it yer way.”
I charged toward her, gallopin’ with the speed and force of a freight train and turnin’ on my heels as I slid in front of her, deliverin’ a mighty kick from my hind legs directly into her face… except…
My eyes widened and my whole body shuddered. It took me a sec to realize what’d happened as I stumbled forward, a powerful pain wrackin’ my back legs. I looked back at them and they were bleedin’ badly, like somethin’ had blown them up from the inside.
Sugarcoat turned around and winded up a kick, so I ignored the pain for a half-sec to jump away from her, but landin’ on my busted stems took me to the ground in a heap. I watched Sugarcoat carefully and she just stared at me; not comin’ any closer, and not havin’ a scratch on her.
I used my healin’ charge— the first of three I could use today before the energy cost of it totally wrecked me completely— and went back over what’d just happened in my head. I rushed at Sugarcoat, I kicked her with my magic-powered feet, but I was the one who took the damage.
It seemed like a safe bet to assume her magic was defensive in nature then, that she had some kinda shield that protected her from harm and damaged people who came close. That’s why she felt confident she didn’t need to move, cuz there was no way I could actually harm her with my attacks. At least, that was probably what she was thinkin’.
That left three questions needin’ answered. One, how does her shield work? Two, how do I get past it? And three, how do I figure out the answers to questions one and two without gettin’ killed?
If Sugarcoat suddenly moved to attack me it would probably mean big trouble for me so I needed to watch her carefully, but I still needed to take the time to dissect this situation cautiously. If I just rushed in again like a rampagin’ bronco it wouldn’t end well for me. So how do I figure her ability out?
Well, I had two more healin’ charges to burn, so… rushin’ in it is!
I charged toward Sugarcoat at full gallopin’ speed but instead of kickin’ her in the face I jumped over her and landed beside her, attemptin’ to buck her in the ribs instead. I slammed my feet up against her torso but felt that same wave of shocking pain coursin’ through my body.
“You’re really weak, you know that?” Sugarcoat said and, after a brief windup, she kicked me in the ribs, tearin’ a hole straight into my torso and sendin’ me flyin’. I slammed against the ground a few feet away and cracked the icy shell, not to mention a few ribs. Frankly, if I wasn’t such a tank, that attacked would’ve made me a goner.
I used my second healin’ charge and stood up, tryin’ to size up Sugarcoat who still stood completely motionless in the distance, just starin’ at me behind her glasses with bored violet eyes. I looked down at the crack in the ice below me and then again at Sugarcoat. That was an impressive distance she threw me… her power was more than just defensive.
Then it hit me… my legs got blown open like somethin’ was tearin’ ‘em apart from the inside… cuz she was reflectin’ my magic. But she didn’t reflect nothin’ in order to kick me, and that was one heck of a kick. Maybe she was absorbin’ my magic? But that didn’t seem right; how could she absorb it and reflect it too? Just didn’t make sense.
But then I thought of old man Burnt Oak; the more kinetic energy that went through his aura, the powerful the burns. Maybe it was the same thing here, and motion was the key to her ability? The faster an attack came at her, the more powerfully it was reflected back? That’d also explain why she kept windin’ up her kicks; without the buildup her attacks must not have that much force to ‘em.
Welp, I had one healin’ charge left and that was a gamble I was willin’ to bet on. Only one more question needin’ answered—how big was her range— so I charged at Sugarcoat again, quickly pickin’ up speed as I raced toward her.
“This again?” she groaned in disgust as she saw me approachin’.
I raced toward her til she was just barely outta reach of my kick then jumped over her, landin’ a distance away that was also just barely outta my reach. She just turned her face to me and scowled. I jumped a few more times, landin’ on different sides of her each time at a few different distances, gettin’ closer and closer until…
I jumped right in front of Sugarcoat’s face and immediately my legs gave out from the force of that familiar shockwave. I grinned as I fell to the ground and Sugarcoat sneered, turnin’ on her heels and gettin’ ready to buck me right in the head, an attack I was dead certain I wouldn’t survive against, but before she could do it I activated my last healin’ charged and jumped away.
Sugarcoat kicked harmlessly into the air but I could see the swell of magical energy around her kick. She glared angrily at me and I laughed “Not a lot of range, huh?”
“Whatever,” Sugarcoat rolled her eyes.
Sugarcoat’s big weakness was that she was slow. It took her more than a whole second to react to me landin’ in front of her and fallin’ to the ground ‘fore she turned around to kick me, which gave me more than enough time to dodge. Her lack of speed also probably measured into her choice of motionless combat, but it also implied that her barrier worked automatically.
It was a strong ability and I couldn’t beat it with brute force. I couldn’t beat it with speed either, and tryin’ to get in close slowly was gonna end disastrously if she managed to hit me with one of those kicks. I needed to find a way to disable her without movin’ myself…
I looked over to the cracked ice from where I landed before and got an idea. It was still a gamble… if my analysis of her technique was overlookin’ any key details, or if I was just straight-up wrong about how it worked, I would lose this match.
I began to sweat as I recalled Rarity’s fight with Starlight. She was countin’ on me to win this, so was Twilight who did so well in her own fight. I thought about seein’ how sad Pinkie and Fluttershy were in the hospital and how relieved they must’ve been to not have to fight us… and then I thought about Rainbow’s smug face and how she would never let me live it down if I failed here…
I started gettin’ real nervous… so many ponies were countin’ on me and I didn’t want to let anyone down… but it was still pretty long odds I was bettin’… could I really do this?
I shook my head and stamped my hoof. Forget about Rainbow Dash, and Rarity. Forget about Twilight, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie… I need to win this for my sake. This fight is a matter of pride, now.
This is it, Sugarcoat. All or nothin’.
I raced toward the crack in the ice, my eyes fixed on Sugarcoat to make sure she wasn’t followin’ me and didn’t catch on to what I was up to. She just rolled her eyes, so that was probably a good sign. I jumped up and slammed hard on the ice, crushing the sheet with my magic-enhanced hooves and falling into the freezin’ waters below.
The water was way colder than I expected and it sent shivers through my whole body. Only seconds in and I suddenly didn’t even feel cold anymore so much as I felt like I was burnin’… but I focused on channeling the Earth Aura through my body, trustin’ it to protect me as I swam a course directly underneath Sugarcoat.
I could just barely hear her sneer as I made my way directly under her but I had a good feelin’… underneath the water I couldn’t gather the momentum to crush the ice but I didn’t need it, all I needed was to just gently place a hoof right on the sheet that Sugarcoat stood on and expel just a little burst of my magical energy.
My magic, even just a hair of it, was strong and the ice didn’t stand a chance. It shattered and Sugarcoat fell into the water alongside me. In the time it took the painfully slow girl to gather her bearings under the water I’d already wrapped her up tight in my hooves, keepin’ her still as she struggled against me, but as it turns out she couldn’t get any momentum underwater to use her movement-based powers and without ‘em she was way too weak to beat me.
She only struggled for a couple seconds before the water’s chill ended the fight in my favor and the claxon blared, sendin’ us back to the arena. A jovial man’s voice screamed out “The winner is APPLEJACK!! TEAM DESTINY IS MOVING ON TO THE SECOND PRELIMINARIES!!!”
I flipped my hat up into the air and crossed my legs in front of me as it landed back on my head, grinnin’ smugly at Sugarcoat as I saw her bitin’ down a furious scowl. Nothin’ could’ve made me happier.
****
-RARITY-
I watched in awe as Applejack won her battle with Sugarcoat and could hardly believe my ears as the announcer said that our team had made it through. It was almost like an out of body experience and I barely even registered Pinkie Pie screaming joyfully next to me or Twilight prancing about happily in front of me.
Applejack returned to our waiting room with a beautiful and deservedly proud grin on her face and Pinkie and Twilight wasted no time embracing her in a loving hug.
“You did amazing, Applejack,” I said, walking over to the three of them.
“Yeah, I know,” Applejack chuckled and that made me laugh.
When did you get so cool, Applejack?
Pinkie Pie wrapped me up in their hug and the four of us all embraced each other for a moment before Pinkie suddenly gasped, “We gotta go get Fluttershy and Rainbow! We gotta have like a celebration party!”
“I’m down,” Applejack said with a smile, her joyful disposition faltering ever so slightly as her gaze fell upon me, “you up for it, Rarity?”
“I…” I sighed wearily but took a deep breath and composed myself, nodding with a graceful smile, “I think so.”
Twilight smiled brightly as well and it warmed my heart that my dear, socially awkward sister seemed so eager to make friends with Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy.
The four of us left the arena waiting room and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were already excitedly awaiting us outside. Rainbow stomped up to Applejack and raised a hoof, Applejack bumping the smaller mare’s hoof gladly.
“That was awesome, AJ!” Rainbow shouted, unable to contain her excitement.
“I hope you weren’t too intimidated, Rainbow,” Applejack laughed and traced the edge of her hat with a hoof.
“More like super pumped!” Rainbow scraped a hoof across the ground while grinning ear to ear, “I’m really looking forward to fighting you now! So I hope you’re not too intimidated!”
“Eh, I dunno, Rainbow,” Applejack crossed her forelegs in front of her and smirked coyly, “I’m not sure you’re in my league.”
Rainbow laughed and hovered in the air in front of Applejack, the two smiling brightly at each other with fiery determination and conviction in their eyes.
“Hey, Applejack wasn’t the only pony who was awesome,” Twilight said, flicking her hair haughtily, an act with brought a warm smile to my face. I taught her well.
“Heck yeah!” Rainbow said enthusiastically, hovering over Twilight who beamed like a schoolfilly at the attention. “That laser fight, that awesome portal spell, your quick thinking… it was all incredible, Twilight! You girls totally rule!”
“Thank you for acknowledging the objective fact that is our greatness,” Twilight said proudly, tracing the edge of her bangs, and I stifled a giggle at how she was clearly mimicking Applejack.
But then I cleared my throat awkwardly, feeling somewhat unworthy of being implicitly included in Twilight and Rainbow’s praises.
“Rarity…” Rainbow said softly. She landed on the ground in front of me, taking me aback a bit as she looked up into my eyes, “What that girl Starlight did to you was not okay. No one can blame you for losing that match, that was-” Rainbow scoffed and angrily kicked one of her back legs “-that spell of hers was completely uncalled for. I know this is kinda worthless coming from me, but I’m sorry you had to go through that, and I really hope you can kick her butt the next time you guys meet!”
“Th-thank you, Rainbow Dash,” I said bashfully, putting a hoof against my cheek and feeling completely unprepared to deal with her seemingly genuine compassion. I completely expected Rainbow to be the first to mock me for my weakness but instead she greeted me with a sincerely thoughtful display of sympathy. To say I was shocked would be underselling it.
“Yeah, Starlight’s a real jerk!” Pinkie said, puffing up her cheeks and planting her hindquarters on the ground with her forelegs crossed over her chest. But just as quickly she grinned widely and jumped back to her hooves, “But it’s nothing a few dozen cupcakes can’t solve! Come on, Rarity! I can show you all the best flavor combinations! We’ll make like a towering fortress of cupcakes!”
“Um…” I stammered bashfully. Though I said I was up for this when Applejack asked a second ago, now I wasn’t so sure. To be included in a celebration of victory when I had done absolutely nothing but slow everyone down… it felt wrong. It felt unearned. Undeserved.
“Pinkie Pie is right, Rarity,” Fluttershy walked over to me a put a trembling hoof on my chest. “You should take it easy for a little bit. What you went through was really rough… and we don’t want you to burn yourself out.”
“I agree,” Twilight nodded severely.
“Yeah, we need you, Rarity,” Applejack added, playfully nudging her shoulder against mine. “No sense in lettin’ ya get taken out by some jerk’s cheap shot.”
“Even I would need rest after something like that…” Rainbow mumbled, blushing and nervously walking away from me behind Pinkie and Fluttershy.
“You all…”
I began to mist up as I realized that my companions were not looking down on me for my weakness or trying to coddle me because of my histrionics, but that they were actually looking out for me and my health because they cared about me.
I smiled brightly at all of them and Pinkie Pie had her hooves around me in a hug in less than a second, Fluttershy gently nuzzling her neck against mine and Twilight doing the same from the other side, and then Applejack embraced all four of us in a hug… and even Rainbow came over and gently placed her wing across my back.
“Thank you,” I said with a tearful smile on my face, “all of you.”
****
-RAINBOW DASH-
The six of us all got together in a little outdoor restaurant a couple blocks from the arena. This was a cause for celebration!
Team Rainboom and Team Destiny both made it to the second preliminaries! We were all gathered around a table, Pinkie and Applejack happily tossing back ciders as Twilight helped a jittery Fluttershy navigate the obtuse menu, and Rarity and I… were sorta just there.
Rarity put on a smile and brave face and there was no doubt that she felt relief at least to see her team make it to the next round, but I could tell her mind was still in that battle with Starlight.
“Hey, girls?” I said awkwardly, “I gotta bail on you all, sorry,” I had other things on my mind. Something important that I couldn’t put off.
“What, already?!” Pinkie gasped in shock, “But we were gonna have a little feast!”
“What could be so important,” Twilight said curiously, an edge of annoyance in her voice, “that it can’t wait until after we’re done here? This is the first time the six of us have been able to just hang out together… it’s kinda nice.”
“I know, and I’ll be back as soon as I can…” I said with a smile, spreading my wings.
“Hold on a tick, Rainbow,” Applejack raised her hoof before jumping out of her chair and jumping over to mine and putting a hoof on my shoulder. “Can I talk to ya fer one sec before you jet off? Been meanin’ to say somethin’ to ya and it’ll only take two seconds, promise.”
“Ugh, fine,” I sighed irritably. I didn’t want to waste time but I even more didn’t want to make the others suspicious so if Applejack was only going to take ‘two seconds’, I figured I’d better spare them.
Applejack walked away from the table with a smile, guiding me as I followed behind her until we turned the corner away from the restaurant and were out of eyesight of the others. AJ had a charmed little smile on her face the whole walk but instantly became deadly serious as she stopped in her tracks and turned around to look at me, sending a chill down my spine and catching me way off guard.
“Don’t do what yer thinkin’ of doin’, Rainbow.”
Now I was on guard.
I took a defensive stance and looked up into AJ’s eyes defiantly, “What are you talking about? What is it you think I’m about to do?”
“I know you, Rainbow,” Applejack scoffed and rolled her eyes, which ticked me off. “I’ve met you. Yer thinkin’ of killin’ Starlight Glimmer.”
I froze in my tracks and my eyes widened, my ears flattening against my head. I didn’t realize I was that predictable. I cleared my throat and regained my composure. Mostly. “Wh-what are you talking abou—“
“Don’t get smart with me, Rainbow,” Applejack sighed, “Y’ain’t good at it.”
When I glared at her for that comment she frowned and muttered, “Sorry,” before clearing her throat and continuing, “Ya think I don’t remember the way ya used to be, Rainbow? The way ya still kinda are?”
“What’s your point, Applejack?” I turned away from her and looked out onto the dreary Baltimare streets, anger coursing through my body like a fire the more I thought about Starlight Glimmer. “You saw what Starlight did, the kind of pain she put Rarity through,” I looked over my shoulder to glare at Applejack, “do you just not care?”
Applejack glowered and grinded her teeth, clearly struggling to remain composed. “Of course I care, Rainbow. Starlight’s a grade-A jerk and what she did to Rarity was completely unacceptable, but that ain’t a reason for her to be murdered. And besides that, how would you even do it? You saw how powerful she is, do ya honestly think you could get the drop on her?”
“I have my own power…” I said coldly, suppressing an eager yet terrified grin at the thought of using that power again, “And it’s much stronger than—“
“She knows about the Nightmare Force,” I completely froze when I heard those cursed words leave Applejack’s mouth, “and she knows you have it.”
“How—how do you know about the Nightmare Force?” I spun around in alarm but tried to play it cool and not show just how rattled that made me.
“Apparently Starlight explained the events of our fight with the Mane-iac to Twilight,” Applejack said, “and Twilight told me. I don’t know a darn thing about this ‘Nightmare Force’ but I bet you every bit I ever earned that Starlight knows way more about it than me, and I’d wager she knows more about it than you do either.”
I took a few steps back to really absorb what AJ was saying. She was right, I planned on finding Starlight alone and then using the Nightmare Force to kill her quickly before she could react but… between her skill with illusions and my inexperience with the Nightmare Force… even I had to admit my odds weren’t great.
But still…
“She can’t just get away with what she did to Rarity,” I said furiously. “Somepony needs to do something to stop her before she does something even worse to somepony else!”
“Rainbow…” Applejack sighed wearily and irritably, putting a hoof up against her forehead as she slowly shook her head, “I could rattle off a million reasons why I think it’s a terrible idea for you to seek vigilante justice on Starlight Glimmer. The main one for me bein’ that I don’t think anypony has the authority to take another pony’s life. But answer me this… how do ya plan on killin’ Starlight without gettin’ caught?”
Applejack glowered down at me as she asked that question and I… froze again. I actually hadn’t thought that far ahead.
“I…” I needed to think of something witty or cool to say to cover up my embarrassment but I had nothing.
“Even puttin’ the moral issue aside for one sec,” Applejack continued, “the Bifrost management services or whatever saw you transform into that black pony, they know that’s you. And if yer caught killin’ another competitor, yer team’s gonna get disqualified right away. Also jail time. Don’t forget about the jail time.”
“Then what should I do? Nothing?” I growled in frustration and stomped a hoof, wishing I could just rattle the entire building beside me with my anger alone.
“Yeah, Rainbow! Nothin’!” Applejack yelled back, clearly hitting her breaking point.
It hadn’t occurred to me but Applejack had to watch her ex-girlfriend, who she still loved in at least a platonic way, be slowly tortured in front of her, then her teammate nearly getting burned alive and skewered with a bazillion knives, then she had her own fight on top of it all, and now she was here advising me not to throw all my dreams in the trash for the sake of petty revenge.
She had… a lot more stamina than me, and it was honestly incredible she hadn’t hit her breaking point already.
“I think you should forget about Starlight an’ move on!” Applejack continued to yell, “Be a good friend! Support Rarity!”
“Rarity doesn’t want my support,” I muttered dejectedly and glanced away from Applejack, lowering my head shamefully. Or my friendship.
“Then support Twilight and me!” Applejack kept yelling, her voice soon becoming strained. “Support yer own teammates! Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie still need their captain! But for Celestia’s sake, Rainbow, there are so many things more important than playin’ white knight for a pony that don’t even like you!”
My whole body stiffened up as Applejack said those words and my cheeks became red like tomatoes instantly.
“I’m… I’m sorry,” Applejack said remorsefully, looking solemnly at the ground and bowing her head, her hat framing her face in shadow. “I shouldn’t’a said that, it was uncalled for.”
“She really doesn’t like me-” I bit my lip and if I could’ve somehow torn the flesh off my own body in that moment, I would’ve done it happily “-does she?”
I phrased that statement like a question almost as if I had some kinda hope that the answer would be different than I already knew that it was.
“Oh yeah, she hates yer guts,” Applejack said with a laugh, laying the final nail in my coffin of shame.
Despite that though, I couldn’t help but laugh back.
“Gee, thanks AJ!” I playfully smacked a hoof across Applejack’s leg, which caused a little wave of laughter to wash over us both. The sun was starting to break through the clouds like an omen and I looked up at Applejack, “I owe you one, AJ.”
“Don’t be thankin’ me just yet,” Applejack said with a smirk, “I got a little more advice for ya, and ya ain’t gonna like it.”
I took a deep breath and waited for AJ’s sage wisdom with ready ears.
“Rarity hates the Rainbow Dash that she sees… the abrasive tough-girl act that you’ve shown her. That façade ya put on to hide yer real feelin’s? Yeah, she hates that. Maybe you should try showin’ her what yer actually like?”
“And how would you know what I’m ‘actually’ like?” I said grumpily.
“I guess you could say,” Applejack chuckled to herself, feeling oh-so-clever I’m sure, “I can see beyond sight. I don’t believe in all that ‘oh they act like a jerk but they got a good heart deep down’ garbage…” Applejack’s speech wasn’t exactly filling me with confidence, “…but…” she smiled warmly at me and put a hoof on my shoulder, “I believe ponies can change. At least, that’s what I choose to believe.”
I blushed and kicked at the ground absent-mindedly, nervously avoiding eye contact with AJ.
“Start actin’ more like the Rainbow Dash who risked her life to save Fluttershy,” Applejack went on, “let Rarity see the Rainbow who gave Pinkie a hug when she was on her last legs against Team B-Listers, or who carried Fluttershy to the arena despite her own injuries, or who carried Pinkie to the hotel.”
“How do you…” I blushed and looked up at AJ, “…how do you know about all this stuff?”
“Yer friends speak really highly of you, and my sister loves to talk,” Applejack laughed. “Don’t be an idiot, Rainbow. Don’t show Rarity the dumb jerk who nearly flew off the handle to seek revenge, be the Rainbow that I know you want to be. The one who’s kind and comforting. The one who’s honest.”
I took a deep breath and sighed, feeling like a massive weight was slowly slipping away from around my neck.
“There’s a lot of layers of garbage between that Rainbow Dash and the one that I actually am.”
“More like there’s layers ‘tween the one you are and the one you’ve been pretendin’ to be,” Applejack said, and I just arched a confused eyebrow at her weird Zen mumbo jumbo. “And realizin’ the person you want to be is the person you are, and the person you’ve been up til now is just pretendin’… I think that’s the first step to uncovering those layers,” she shrugged, “least it was for me.”
“Ehhh… I dunno…” I said wearily, “I don’t think I can do it…”
“Maybe,” Applejack gently punched me in the shoulder, “but when ya need help you can lean on Pinkie, and Fluttershy and Twilight…” Applejack raised her hoof in front of me, “and I got yer back too.”
I bumped my hoof with hers and the two of us smiled as we felt the dusk sun shine down on us and dry our rain-soaked coats.
Maybe… maybe it wouldn’t be so hard after all.
****
-RARITY-
My companions and I retreated to our hotel room, or at least mine and Twilight’s hotel room as Applejack had her own but Twilight insisted the three of us sleep in the same room tonight. I sat on a chair while Twilight sat on one of the beds and Applejack on the ground.
“It’s been… quite an eventful…”
I started to say something but then I realized I had no idea how much time had actually passed since I received my invitation to Bifrost.
“It’s been around two weeks,” Twilight said with a weary smile, breathing the sigh of someone who was very, very tired. “And yeah, it’s been a lot.”
“But hey, we’re movin’ on to the next round now!” Applejack said with a hearty grin, “That’s pretty excitin’!”
“It is, it is…” I yawned drearily, my own exhaustion swiftly catching up to me. I tried to sound excited but the truth was that I was nervous and… rather depressed. “I hope I don’t slow you both down.”
“Rarity, yer not—“
“Applejack, please,” I huffed. “Twilight, this goes for you as well… I do not need either of you to pretend that I am not weak.” Applejack and Twilight looked at each other and then at me anxiously.
“We don’t think that you’re—“
“Twilight, what did I just say?” I frowned bemusedly at my sister who simply lowered her ears and glanced away in shame like a scolded child. “Neither of you can say in good faith that my lack of fighting skill is anything less than a burden on this team. I am well aware of my own weakness and I need to… no, I have accepted that fact. I am weak.”
I looked at my companions with steely eyes. The two had become somewhat accustomed to my histrionics and my history with depressive episodes so they were understandably concerned about the words that I spoke.
I gave them a bright, assuring smile, “I will get stronger. I will get stronger for both of you and for myself as well. I will become strong enough to defeat Rainbow Dash, that is my goal.
“And to accomplish that goal, it will not serve me to turn my eyes away from the truth, and the truth is that I am too weak. I see only weakness in myself, so I believe myself to be weak. To change what I believe I must change what I see, and to that end I will find a way to see power inside me. And I will become strong.”
I smiled sweetly, feeling like a great burden had been lifted off my back by venting all those feelings for my friends. The two of them looked nervous for a second but Twilight smiled brightly back at me and Applejack soon gave a charming grin despite herself.
“It’s almost too bad our two teams are ‘joined at the hip’ now, isn’t it?” Twilight said with a smirk.
“Perhaps,” I chuckled wistfully, ruminating on my friendship with Fluttershy and my rather pleasant encounters with Pinkie Pie. “And I will eagerly accept friendship and comradery from Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie…” I took a deep breath and sighed, “and for the time being… I will see what I can do about Rainbow Dash.”
“She doesn’t seem that bad to me,” Twilight chirped, her voice so full of hope and optimism and her eyes practically shining.
Ever the idealist, Twilight. I hope that never changes.
“Maybe the bully you knew isn’t who she is anymore?”
People don’t change, Twilight.
In lieu of those unnecessarily, if entirely honest, words, I simply smiled at my sister, “Perhaps you’re right, darling,” I sighed theatrically and flung my body over the arm of the chair I sat upon. “As I said, I will attempt to find some common ground with her.”
“She wanted to chat it up with ya ‘fore we left tomorrow,” Applejack said, catching my attention and a raised eyebrow. “I think she honestly wants to make amends for the way she used to be… but it ain’t easy to unlearn yerself.”
“I know,” I groaned and shook my head. “I know all too well…”
I have never seen a pony change. People can bend and stretch and pretend to be something other than what they are… but in the end you’ll always be the person you are.
And yet here I was talking about changing what I see and believe… maybe… change wasn’t so impossible after all.
Or perhaps I was just fooling myself. Who’s to say?
I yawned and stretched my legs before hopping onto the ground. I pranced toward my bed and laid down to rest “I suppose… I will believe it when I see it.”
“Fair enough,” Applejack yawned and laid down at the foot of Twilight’s bed.
“We have a train to catch in the morning, girls,” I said sleepily, resting my head against my pillow with a smile as Twilight extinguished the lights and I drifted casually into slumber. “Try to get some sleep, my dears.”
****
-RAINBOW DASH-
Team Rainboom settled into our little hotel room for the last time before our trip to Fillydelphia tomorrow. We all hopped onto our beds and I declared, “Alright girls, we’re heading out on the noon o’clock train tomorrow for Fillydelphia. Make sure you’ve got your affairs or whatever in order before then.”
“That’s pretty early…” Fluttershy mumbled, already half-asleep on her bed, “I want to have brunch with Twilight before we leave…”
“You should have time for that,” I said casually, relaxing on my own bed with my forelegs resting on the pillow behind my head. “I talked it over with AJ and Team Destiny’s taking the same train so I guess we’re all just gonna go together? But yeah, we’re all gonna grab breakfast before heading out, so you should be fine!”
“Ok,” Fluttershy said with a smile, her eyes closed.
“Do we really have to leave already?” Pinkie asked, lounging on her back and kicking her legs in the air. “Are the first preliminaries already over?”
“They are for us,” I snickered, and quite frankly I couldn’t wait to get out of Baltimare. “The preliminaries themselves won’t end for another couple weeks, and yeah we could stay and watch some of the other teams fighting but after today…”
I groaned and looked at the others, who looked back at me with similarly lethargic expressions, Fluttershy opening a single listless eye, “Does anypony really want to do that?”
“No,” Fluttershy said firmly, shutting her eyes tightly.
“Not even a little,” Pinkie said, her tongue flopping out of her mouth. “I am so burned out on fights right now, it’ll be nice to have a couple weeks to just rest.”
“It won’t be just rest,” I sat up and rubbed my hooves together excitedly. “We’ll all need to train some too, make sure we’re still at the top of our game for the second preliminaries…”
Pinkie gave me a look of really grave concern and Fluttershy’s frown deepened into a dreadful scowl.
I gave a melodramatic sigh, “But it will be mostly rest,” the others breathing a collective sigh of relief that made me laugh.
I yawned and stretched my legs above my head, splaying my wings behind my back for good measure, “Speaking of rest, we got a train to catch tomorrow, so get some sleep everypony.”
Despite my insistence that we all get some sleep, I couldn’t quite manage it even as I laid in bed in the darkness, accompanied by the soothing sounds of Pinkie and Fluttershy’s gentle snoring.
I decided to get some change of scenery and left the room, heading out of the hotel and flying up onto the roof to gaze up at the starry night sky. Despite the rain from earlier there wasn’t a cloud in the sky now and it was really mesmerizing to look at all the twinkling lights in the black sky.
It made me feel small, but almost in like, a comforting way. Something about the vastness of the universe helped me keep my mind aligned in perspective, like it was okay if everything didn’t go right one hundred percent of the time, in the end the universe had a way of making sure everything stayed in balance… at least, that was what I chose to believe… even though it was seriously hard to.
That belief comforted me and helped me to keep going forward on hard days, which I had a lot of as a kid… I really liked playing with puzzles as a kid but they always frustrated me. There were always so many dang pieces and it took me hours to figure out how to put them together. My dad always mocked me for being too slow and too stupid to do them, but I always liked them.
I remembered one time when I was working on a really challenging one as a kid, I was getting super frustrated by the time it was taking me and I started crying, but I tried to stop myself so my parents wouldn’t see me and make fun of me. Anyway, the puzzle was really hard but I looked at all the pieces, and I looked at the box which had the picture of what it was supposed to be like and I realized… the game is fair.
Puzzles won’t ever cheat me, even if they’re really hard and frustrating and annoying… all the pieces are still there. If I bought a puzzle it was guaranteed to have all the pieces I needed to finish it, it was just a matter of time and perseverance. But more than that, if I got really frustrated and decided to give up, the puzzle wouldn’t put itself together.
The puzzle wouldn’t say ‘oh I’m sorry you’re not having a good time let me fix that for you’, it just wouldn’t get done. But as long as I didn’t give up, it was just a matter of time and perseverance until I put the puzzle together.
That realization made me really happy, and I started to think that maybe life was like that. Life was hard and challenging, and frustrating and even brutal, but… I had nothing to gain by giving up.
And as long as I held my ground and dug my feet in, I could somehow make it to the life that I always dreamed of, that life that was worth living.
As I curled up on the roof and felt the embrace of sleep coming to me under the starry night sky, a smile on my face as I thought about the future.
****
-FLUTTERSHY-
Twilight was sitting at a table outside the coffee place when I arrived early in the morning. “Sorry I’m late!” I said flustered and took a seat across from her, “I didn’t keep you waiting, did I?”
“Nope,” Twilight smiled brightly and took a sip of coffee, gesturing toward the cup in front of me. “I took the liberty of ordering you some tea, Rarity told me how you liked it. It should still be warm!”
“Oh good,” I sighed and took a sip of the warm tea, humming in delight at the comforting and pleasant feeling of warm tea on a cold winter morning. “I kept tossing and turning all last night because I’m so nervous. We’re leaving for Fillydelphia in only a few hours! It’s all a lot to take in.”
“I know what you mean,” Twilight chuckled anxiously. “But hey, it’ll be nice to go there as one big group, right?”
“Yes, I agree,” I nodded happily, “I was really worried about leaving Rarity behind and coming to Bifrost but now we’re both in the tournament together and I’ve met so many wonderful ponies… it’s almost like a dream…”
“Yup,” Twilight smiled brightly.
Twilight and I… just sorta… sat there, for a few moments. Quietly. Twilight occasionally shifted in her chair or looked up at the sky and I was laser focused on my tea so as not to make myself very noticeable or make eye contact with her…
“It occurs to me,” Twilight said, finally breaking the silence after what felt like at least an hour, “that when I asked you out for coffee, I had forgotten that I am the worst at small talk.”
“I’m not very good at it either,” I laughed bashfully. “What do you usually like to talk about, Twilight? I’m more of a listener, honestly.”
“I like…” Twilight blushed and let out a nervous little groan, “I like magic.”
“Magic is cool,” I said with a smile, taking another sip of my tea.
“It really is cool!” Twilight’s eyes brightened ever so slightly before she quickly looked away awkwardly, “But it’s, like, all I’m interested in. I know every little thing there is to know about magic history and theory but it’s hard for me to get really invested in other things… and I know nopony actually wants to hear about all the magic stuff. I get really overexcited and it’s embarrassing.”
“Oh Twilight…” I said with a concerned frown, “I don’t think there’s such a thing as ‘overexcited’. It just means you’re passionate about something, and I think that’s wonderful.”
“You might be the only one,” Twilight grumbled and rolled her eyes. “Usually other ponies just tell me to calm down.”
“Well, if you want to talk about magic,” I smiled gently and elegantly at the cute lavender mare and folded my forelegs on the table, “I’d be more than happy to listen. And I won’t tell you to calm down or that you’re getting too excited, promise.”
“Ehhhhh…” Twilight groaned and agitatedly tapped her hooves on the edge of the table, “Are you sure? I really ramble.”
“That’s okay,” I giggled and took another sip of tea, “we have an hour or so before our train leaves, so ramble to your heart’s content.”
Twilight just stared blankly and blinked at me a couple times, but as I let my smile grow a little bit she finally said tepidly, “If you insist.”
“I insist,” I chirped.
“Oh… uh, okay…” Twilight took a deep breath and another sip of her coffee, “We haven’t seen a lot of unicorns in Bifrost yet, have we? In fact, I think it’s mostly been earth ponies? Then again, I might be biased since the first team we fought was all earth ponies. Also…” Twilight rubbed her temples embarrassedly and I tried not to giggle at her expense, “There were two unicorns on the team we just fought.”
“I fought a unicorn,” I chimed in, although I pouted right after, “I didn’t win though.”
“Oh? What kind of magic did they use?” Twilight asked curiously, her ears perking up as she forgot about her earlier embarrassedness.
“They had a lyre,” I explained, “and when they played different tunes on it, they got like different power-ups. One of them made them super fast, another made her super strong and one made me feel all woozy.”
“Ah, my guess is some kind of transmutation? Abjuration, perhaps?” Twilight nodded and took another sip of her drink, “Or maybe different tunes correspond to different schools? Hmm… that’s interesting.
“Meanwhile, Sunny Flare and…” Twilight grimaced in disgust, “that other pony-” she sighed and cleared her throat before continuing “-were a conjurer and an illusionist, respectively, so their battle styles couldn’t be more different.
“Though granted, there are many different ways to use conjuration, and I should know since it’s my favorite school, personally. Rarity’s never been terribly fond of magic, but she does know a little bit of abjuration and divination, just basic enough stuff to heal cuts and scrapes and find lost objects but—“
Twilight suddenly cut herself off and took a very shaky sip of her coffee, her cheeks turning bright red, “I did it again, I started rambling. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Twilight,” I laughed softly. “I honesty was very much enjoying listening to you ramble,” I took another sip of tea and asked curiously, “So you use conjuration, Twilight? That’s like summoning stuff, right?”
“Yes, it is,” Twilight explained proudly, “primarily through the usage of portals, although ‘summoning’ can mean anything from conjuring weaponry to elemental forces to giant beasts in some cases! That’s why it’s such a useful and versatile school.”
She cleared her throat and proudly put a hoof over her chest, “And I happen to know a little bit of everything. A lot of people think that knowing more magic is somehow better, and I don’t find that to be the case at all.”
She let out a pitiable whine, which made me have to stifle a giggle with another sip of tea.
“I know so many different spells of varying utility that I sometimes get paralyzed with choice, so I mainly stick to conjuration since it was always my favorite.”
“So what about pegasus and earth pony magic?” I asked, “Are there neat categories for those too?”
“Sort of…” Twilight explained, “Pegasi use magic from the Sky Aura, which grants them control over one of four elemental aspects; heat, light, air and water, and powerful pegasi can combine these elemental powers into different, more advanced techniques such as the use of lightning and ice, which are common, or steam and explosions.”
“Wow,” I was really awed by Twilight’s knowledge and was really intrigued to hear more about what she had to say, I felt like I was learning so much!
“Pegasi are generally attuned to a specific element naturally,” Twilight continued, “and that element is easier for them to control, but any pegasus can use as many elements as they want… it just takes a ton of hard work and training to control more than one element effectively.”
Twilight frowned and tapped her chin for a second, “Speaking of, Fluttershy, you’re a pegasus. What kind of magic do you have?”
“Oh, um…” I blushed and lowered my head, causing hair to fall in front of my eye as I looked away from Twilight, “I’m not very good at magic… I can’t control an element or anything like that… the only thing I can do is I can channel energy into my hoof and briefly stop another pony from using magic by touching them.”
“Huh. That sounds more like earth pony magic… but you’re definitely a pegasus, you have wings,” Twilight chuckled, “You’re not an alicorn in disguise, are you? You don’t have like a horn hidden under all that hair, right?”
“Not that I know of,” I laughed, Twilight giggling as well. “So what about earth pony magic?”
“Earth magic is generally used to control one’s own body,” Twilight explained. “This is colloquially known as the ‘Muscle Aspect’ of the Earth Aura, however powerful earth ponies can also control the physical space around them within their own personal aura,” Twilight smirked at me and said “because of course, as you know, everypony has a magical aura surrounding them at all times, and earth pony magic can physically manipulate the properties of this aura under the right conditions.”
“Wow, earth pony magic sounds really strong,” I took another sip of tea.
“That’s not all!” Twilight said excitedly, standing up with her forehooves on the table, “Really powerful earth ponies can also manipulate the bodies, and in some extremely rare cases even the magical aura, of others! This is colloquially known as the ‘Nerve Aspect’, whereas the control of one’s own aura is the ‘Breath Aspect’.”
“And what about non-pony magic?” I said curiously, reminded of how that griffon from the fair was able to use lightning.
“Oh, ponies aren’t the only ones who can use magic, of course,” Twilight said casually. “While most ponies refer to things such as ‘unicorn magic’ or ‘pegasus magic’, these are outdated terms. Every living creature is connected to the magic of the universe in some way or another, either to the Space Aura like unicorns and centaurs, or to the Sky Aura like pegasi and griffons and dragons, or to the Earth Aura like earth ponies and minotaurs and the like.”
“I feel like I’ve learned a lot today,” I said with a smile and took one last sip of tea.
“I’m glad I could help!” Twilight blushed and fretted with her bangs, “And thanks for listening to me, Fluttershy. I almost never get to really go off on these tangents.”
“Anytime, Twilight,” I said with a bright smile. I really enjoyed listening to Twilight’s ‘tangent’ and I honestly looked forward to hearing another one sometime. “But right now we should probably head to the train station.”
“Ack! It’s late!” Twilight said in shock as she looked at the time, “Let’s go, Fluttershy!”
Twilight hopped off her chair and started running to the station, and as I got up to follow her I couldn’t help but think how happy I was that there were so many nice ponies in my life now. A little cheesy, I know, but… it made me happy to think about.
****
-PINKIE PIE-
“Thanks Applejack,” I said as Applejack and I merrily trotted our way to a hotel, but not the one we were staying at, “for coming with me.”
“Not a problem at all, Pinkie Pie,” Applejack said with a smile. “I take it ya haven’t seen yer sisters at all since you entered Bifrost?”
“Yepyep!” I nodded cheerfully, “I didn’t want to see them until I was super-duper sure I’d be sticking around! How sad would it be if I was like ‘hey everypony, I’m here! Welp, gotta catch a train back to my miserable hole cuz I suck and can’t win fights!’?”
“That’s um, hm,” Applejack muttered.
“What about you?” I asked, quickly changing the subject, “How long has it been since you’ve seen our dumb stupid aunt that you don’t like?”
Applejack laughed at my comment which made me smile. “Not since I moved to Dodge, I reckon.”
“Teehee, that’s what I figured,” I snickered, Applejack giving me a playful shove in return.
“So if yer sisters’re teamin’ up for Bifrost,” Applejack said ponderously, “how come you ain’t with ‘em? Or at least, teamin’ up with yer family in some capacity?”
“Because I’m with Rainbow,” I shot Applejack a snide grin. “You know how she is. She wants to win Bifrost with ‘her own power’ and doesn’t want help from my family.”
I groaned and rolled my eyes. Rainbow could be so stubborn.
“I guess that makes sense,” Applejack sighed and hung her head, “for Rainbow, anyway.”
“But…” I playfully smirked at Applejack, “I love my family, but I don’t regret my decision at all. Rainbow and Fluttershy are the best partners I could ask for.”
“I know exactly what ya mean,” Applejack said with a bright smile, making me giggle.
We reached the hotel where my sisters were staying pretty soon after that. They were still stuck in Baltimare a little while longer because they had another match to fight soon, but they had already won two matches so there wasn’t any real worry.
My three sisters were all crowded around a seating area in the hotel lobby and my heart burst with emotion as I saw them.
“Maud! Marble! Limestone!” I shouted as I ran over to greet them, jumping cannonball-style into Limestone’s lap and embracing her in the biggest hug. Hearing her familiar groan of resentment as I did this thing I knew annoyed her but was still like our thing made me the happiest pony in all Equestria!
“I’m so happy to see you guys!” I said, planting a smooch on Limestone’s cheek as she grumbled.
“We’re happy to see you too, Pinkie,” Maud said flatly, a dull expression on her face. Just like always! I bounced over and gave her a big hug, pressing our faces together cheek to cheek.
“Mm-hmm!” Marble said shyly, like she always does! I grabbed that cutie and smothered her in a big bear hug.
“Applejack! Applejack!” I said, bouncing up and down, “Come meet my sisters!”
“I’ve met yer sisters, Pinkie Pie,” Applejack chuckled. “Plenty of times.”
“Oh, right. Teehee!” I giggled excitedly. With so many of my favorite people in one room together I couldn’t help but jump for joy!
“Hey Applejack,” Limestone said with a grin, “I saw your fight today. You were real good, I’m mad about it.”
“Heh, thanks,” Applejack smiled back at Limestone and tipped her hat.
“Ooh! Ooh! Did you see my fights!” I bounced eagerly.
“Yeah, Pinkie. We saw your fights,” Limestone said but I detected something off about her tone. “You were good too!”
“We saw you get strangled to death,” Maud said from behind me, immediately taking the wind out of my sails as my cheeks burned. “We weren’t going to talk about it.”
“So why’d you bring it up, Maud?!” Limestone said irritably.
“Mm-hmm,” Marble scowled at Maud also.
“It’s okay, you guys,” I said, trying to keep a smile on my face as my hair deflated and fell all around me.
“Aw c’mon, Pinkie,” Limestone said sadly, grabbing my cheeks with her hooves, “don’t do the hair thing. You were awesome. You fought two guys way above your level and really stood your ground against ‘em. Doesn’t matter if you didn’t win, I was impressed as heck.”
“Thanks,” I said with a weak smile, my hair still all over my face but appreciative of Limestone’s gesture.
I was so embarrassed… not just because all my sisters saw the most pathetic and humiliating fight I’d ever been in, but also because I hated letting my sisters see this moody sad side of me. I always hated burdening others with my sadness, especially my friends and family… but I was soooooo bad at hiding my emotions so I couldn’t stop myself from just sitting there and being embarrassed and sad.
“If anyone’s to blame, it’s Rainbow Dash,” Limestone scoffed. “Where the heck was she?! You’re out there getting brutalized and all she does is make a big grand entrance like she’s some kinda hero, then totally chokes!”
“It’s… a long story,” I said through gritted teeth, caught between my desire to defend Rainbow and not argue with my sister.
“Nopony thinks less of you, Pinkie,” Maud said as she stood right next to me, putting her hoof on my shoulder, “just because you didn’t win every fight. Nopony expects you to do the impossible.”
“Mm-hmm,” Marble nodded and inched up to me, giving me a hug. I hugged her back and felt some of the light returning to my body.
“Did you guys win every fight?” I asked.
“Well yeah, of course,” Limestone said flippantly. “But like, we’re the best team here so that’s kind of a given.”
“Oh,” I sighed, lowering my head and letting my hair fall over my eyes.
“Way to go, Limestone,” Maud said coldly.
“MM-HMM,” Marble scowled in bemusement at Limestone.
“Wh—I didn’t mean to—“ Limestone blushed and stammered.
She pushed Marble and Maud away and grabbed me by the cheeks again, tilting my head up so we were looking eye-to-eye, although to be honest I was just kinda staring into the distance.
“Listen, Pinkie—“ Limestone looked over at Applejack and glowered a little bit, “Give us some space here, AJ?”
“Eh, right…” Applejack said nervously, “I guess I’ll… meet’cha at the door, Pinkie?”
“Yeah, okay,” I said sadly.
Limestone took a deep breath as Applejack walked off and looked me in the eyes again. “Listen up, girl! Yer gettin’ the rockstar speech!”
My eyes twinkled a little bit and the barest hint of a smile crept onto my face. I love the rockstar speech!
Limestone climbed onto a chair and yelled for the whole lobby to hear. “Pinkie Pie! You’re a rockstar! And as a rockstar you gotta be stronk!” Limestone jumped off the chair and stood on her hind legs, “Confident!” she slammed her front hooves on the ground, making a loud thunderous noise, “The baddest pony Equestria has ever seen!”
She grabbed my cheeks again and lifted me off my front legs. “You think ponies go to a rock show to see a sad, mopey baby pony?!”
“Heck no!” me and Limestone said in unison.
“They wanna see a frickin’ star!” Limestone yelled with a wide grin, “And who’s gonna show ‘em that star?!”
“A rockstar!” me and Limestone shouted together again, Marble and Maud mumbling in unison as well.
“And what are you?!” Limestone said.
“I’m a rockstar!” I screamed and jumped off the ground, my hair inflating to its natural, beautiful poofiness once again! “I love you, Limestone!” I said with tears in my eyes as I gave my sister a big hug “And I love you, Marble! And Maud!” I grabbed my other two sisters and dragged them into the hug and the four of us stood there just hugging for a sec.
“We’d better see you in the tournament proper, Pinkie Pie!” Limestone said confidently.
“I’m not gonna let you guys down!” I said tearfully.
“Pinkie Promise?” Marble said hopefully.
I nodded my head and the four of us said altogether, “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!” doing the gestures together and everything. It was so silly the four of us couldn’t help but laugh, even Maud let out a single “ha” which was basically laughing out loud for her.
“We love you, Pinkie,” Maud said, “and we’re proud of you. Don’t ever forget that.”
“Mm-hmm,” Marble nodded vigorously.
“And hey, if you ever need help,” Limestone added, punching me playfully in the shoulder, “we got yer back. That goes for that conceited jerk Rainbow, too. She’s basically family.”
“Thank you,” I said, wiping tears from my face. “All of you. I promise I…” I stamped my front hooves on the ground and smiled confidently, “I’ll be way stronger than any of you guys next time we meet!”
“Ha!” Limestone gave a big, sly grin, “That’s a big promise, Pinkie. We’ll hold you to it!”
“Good luck, Pinkie Pie,” Maud said and waved as I readied myself to leave.
“Safe travels,” Marble added with a cute smile.
“Goodbye, you guys!” I said joyfully even as tears still stung at my eyes, “I’ll see you all in the tournament proper, promise! Wait, I already promised that… well anyway! Seeeeeeee yooouuuuuu!!!” I didn’t actually move farther away as I said that, I just kinda made my voice go quieter to mimic distance.
“Get outta here,” Limestone said, shoving me playfully and making me giggle.
I walked up to Applejack who was waiting outside the hotel.
“Y’all right?” she asked and gently nudged me.
“Yeah,” I nodded, drying my eyes, “I’m really embarrassed… that my sisters saw…” I blushed and groaned as I recalled my fight with High Heel, “that whole… thing.”
I shook my head and bore a confident and determined expression.
“But I know my sisters don’t think any less of me for it. They’re really good to me and I love them a whole lot! And I’m not gonna disappoint them or let them down! And even more than that, I’m not gonna let me down!” I jumped in the air and screamed, “Come on, Applejack! We gotta train to catch! And a tournament to win!”
“Couldn’t’ve said it better myself, Pinkie!” Applejack said happily as we galloped to the train station together.
****
-RARITY-
“You wanted to speak to me…” I briefly considered referring to Rainbow as ‘darling’, as I often did out of habit, but reneged at the last moment.
She had asked me to see her before we left for Fillydelphia, but when I went to her room she had been asleep so it was only now at the train station, the two of us sitting alone on a bench away from the other four, that we had the time to talk.
“Yeah…” Rainbow said nervously, kicking at the ground as she paced back and forth in front of the bench. “I wanted to, um… apologize. Again.”
“Oh?” I raised an eyebrow, not exactly enthused at the prospect of a fake apology but trying to keep an open mind for Twilight’s sake. And after all, Rainbow had surprised me before. I suppose it was only fair that I give her a chance.
“Mm-hmm…” Rainbow fidgeted around anxiously. She was clearly distressed about something although I had no interest in hazarding a guess as to what it could be. “I know… things between us… aren’t great.”
“That’s an understatement,” I said flatly, feeling rather proud of myself that I managed to keep a particularly venomous sigh from being released.
“Right…” Rainbow laughed very awkwardly, “and I know that… an apology can’t make up for the stupid stuff I’ve done in the past… and I’m not asking you to forgive me, or to stop hating me, or to give up on trying to defeat me or whatever…”
I slapped my forehead against my hoof and sighed detestably at Rainbow’s mumbled apology, but moreover at the fact that she was aware of my intentions in this tournament. Although I suppose after my ill-fated bout with Starlight Glimmer there wasn’t much I could hide from her, or anyone for that matter.
“My point is…” Rainbow took a deep breath and puffed up her chest. She looked up at me into my eyes for a second before anxiously averting her gaze. “Our teams really get along. It’s kinda just you and me that don’t. So, like, for our f—“ Rainbow grit her teeth and stomped a hoof, “For our teams’ sakes, I’d like to… to do what I can to make things okay between us.”
I remembered spending months of savings on a few classic novels from one of my favorite obscure authors. Books that were almost impossible to find and I had them in my hooves thanks to several months of determination and grit.
Before I even returned home with them Rainbow Dash threw me into a river and the water destroyed the books. I cried the rest of the day.
“Rainbow…” I growled.
I remembered leaving my home after an hour’s preparation on my makeup to go on a date with Applejack. I was still learning how to do my own makeup to hide my masculine features at the time and I almost never felt good about how I looked, but Applejack had complimented my makeup before and I did it in such a way that I knew she would love and compliment me.
As soon as I left my home Rainbow dropped a torrent of rainfall from a storm cloud on top of me and laughed as I let out a horrified shriek.
I paced the steel ground of the train station as Rainbow Dash awaited my answer in the present. I looked at her as she bowed her head apologetically, and thought about the Rainbow I had seen in Bifrost. The Rainbow Dash who not only risked her life to rescue Fluttershy, but carried her on her back to the arena.
I remembered finishing my first ever line of dresses. Without a studio in which to blow glass, after I left my family and moved to Dodge I took up dress making and thoroughly enjoyed it… at first. I was so proud to show off the fruits of my labor to Applejack and Rainbow Dash, who at that time I was still speaking with.
I knew Applejack didn’t know a thing about fashion but she still complimented me on how hard I worked and that’s all I really wanted to hear.
“They look bad,” Rainbow said. “Like, they look like something clowns would wear.”
When Applejack asked me what happened to the dresses the next day I told her I wanted to fine-tune some of the details so she couldn’t see them, but the truth was that I had thrown them all in the garbage. I was so proud of them, but so unsure of myself… I was a teenager for pony’s sake, I had just left my toxic family and was starting to find myself… and Rainbow’s words cut me like a knife.
No matter what it was, whenever I tried to express my identity, Rainbow would always be there with a snide putdown or mean-spirited joke. I hated myself for being too weak to stand up to her, and maybe that was a failing on my part… maybe I should have been upset with Applejack, who always told Rainbow off whenever she would say things like that but never drew a line against her, always let the abuse continue.
But no, at the end of the day it was Rainbow who bore the true mark of my anger. It wasn’t until I had become an adult that I realized the ways in which she had hurt me and how it wasn’t me who was the problem, I wasn’t ‘too weak’ for being upset at her for tearing down my identity and way of expressing myself.
I remembered Rainbow apologizing to me in the hall, speaking kindly toward me in my weakened state after my friends’ victory, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy’s high praises of her. Perhaps, in a way, she had changed. Perhaps I could see beyond her past abuses and look upon the person she is today, and find it in my heart to bury my grudge.
“Rainbow…” I said in the present, Rainbow perking up attentively. I stared her dead in the eye and said, “I will not forgive you.”
But I did not want to look past it.
“Wh—eh—“ Rainbow stuttered before scoffing and donning an intense grimace. “So that’s how it’s gonna be then?”
“It is,” I said coldly and began to walk away from Rainbow and toward the others. “I will defeat you, Rainbow Dash. And until I do, you will not receive forgiveness from me.”
I needed to defeat her to banish the scars she left on me when I was young.
“If you think you can defeat me,” Rainbow sneered, scraping her hoof across the ground and looking up into my eyes with a burning and furious glare, “you’re out of your mind.”
With that she stormed off to who knows where. I sighed irritably as I thought about the complications this would make for our companions, all of whom I cared for a great deal, even Pinkie Pie who I had just barely begun to know.
But I couldn’t just let the past die. I could not, in good faith, forget my wounds. Rainbow Dash was an obstacle standing between my wounded teenage spirit, the girl barely clinging to life that even a decade later I was still merely a shadow of, and the vibrant and beautiful princess that I wanted to be.
I could not be that person I dreamed I could be with these scars keeping me chained to the person I used to be, and I could not banish these scars without getting through the demons that caused them, demons represented by Rainbow Dash.
I took a deep breath and sighed.
The others won’t be happy about this. I know I have chosen a painful path… but the only way to release the ghosts of my past is to move forward.
And the only way forward is through.