Author's Notes:

The suicide attemps shown are real, but due to the nature of the room, nothing happens.

If you or someone is suicidial, being there for them might help to understand someone cares
Songs Included:
Kansas: Dust in the Wind
System of a Down: Lonely Day

It was only a month ago that Brian had to play executioner in the trial of ‘Jack the Ripper’. He couldn't forget what happened and hoped it wasn't repeated.

Brian looked at the calendar and sighed. October 13, again and memories came back about the reason he hated the day. He decided to leave the house and headed to the cemetery. Making is way to the back, he found the grave in question.

Samuel & Alexis Dragnov
Died 2016

Brian knelt down and kissed the tombstone. He was told that they replaced the shattered marker while he was on the other side. Even thought it wasn't real, it was still nice to be able to visit his parents even if it was symbolic. As he was leaving Brian noticed he wasn't alone and decided to visit the other person.

“Brian, what are you doing here so early,” a voice called

“Applejack? I was visiting my parents. It's symbolic but still brings me comfort,” Brian answered

“I was seeing my parents as well. Bright Mac and Pear Butter unfortunately died on this day as well. I was only a foal so I didn't know them as much as Big Mac,” AJ replied “My Granny Smith passed but she requested to be buried on the farm to continue watching over it even in the afterlife.”

After seeing their tombstone, Brian withdrew a rose from the pouch and placed it in front before making a cross over his chest.

“Resquiate in Pace. Be at peace knowing your family is doing alright,” Brian said

“Thank you for that. There's something else bothering you, what is it,” AJ asked hugging him

“Today would be my birthday. Ever since my parents died this day, I've never considered having a birthday due to the reminder. As far as I'm concerned, November 11 is my unofficial birthday as that was when I entered Equestria.”

“Happy birthday anyway. Shall we head home together,” she asked

“Sure.”

After the two parted ways, Brian headed home and grabbed his cello and started playing. The first song that came to mind was Kansas’s ‘Dust in the Wind. Once he finished, the next song was System of a Down’s ‘Lonely Day’. As he was playing, his family heard what they recognized to be a sad song.

“What's wrong dad? You never play something that sad,” Melody asked

“Just thinking about today.”

“What is today,” Harmony asked

“We've seen our grandparents on mom's side, but what about your parents dad,” Mel asked

“That's what I was thinking about. Let's head to the training room as there's something you need to see.”

Once the four of them were inside, Brian planned on showing them the memory of that day.

“What I'm going to show you will be graphic. I honestly hoped you never had to see this but here goes.”

‘Happy birthday Brian,’ Alexis said

‘Happy birthday son,’ Samuel said

‘Thanks, both of you.’

‘Open up our gift,’ mom said

‘Cool. Your wedding ring, mom? A skull cross and a locket with our photos. Thank you very much, but what are these vials for?’

‘You already know what they're for,’ dad said ‘Are you ready dear?’

‘I am. If you don't want to see this, look away,’ mom said

BANG! BANG!

‘Fuck! They just shot themselves. What do I do now?’

‘Del; they died. Yeah murder-suicide. I saw it with my own eyes.’

‘Hello, police? I'd like to report a murder-suicide. Samuel and Alexis Dragnov. I'm their son Brian. Yes, it happened right in front of me.’

Both of the girls were doubled over trying to make sure they didn't puke from the gruesome sight.

“Those were our grandparents? Why did they do it,” Harmony asked straightening up

“I've been asking myself that for years. Especially when today would be my birthday.”

“Happy birthday dad,” the girls said

“Thank you both very much. Now you know why I hate this day. The three of you are the only one to see the entire thing. Luna saw it, but I wouldn't let her see the last part.”

“You were at the graveyard this morning,” Octavia said stating a fact

“Yeah, but it feels different after that incident.”

“What are you two talking about,” Harmony asked

“This,” he said showing the video on his phone of Lucy

“That was cool,” Harmony said

“That's Ignis? He's different,” Mel added

“That was the first time I ever used him. The ooze was the manifestation of hate that I had. And that was also the first time I ever killed anyone.”

“Really? How did you manage to kill that one guy,” Harmony asked

“Necessity. He had to be punished for his crimes. I may not forget what I did but I don't care about him.”

A few weeks later on Nightmare Night, Brian was sent a letter asking to appear at the castle. He told his family to enjoy the festivities as Luna and Celestia wanted to meet with him.

“Bye dad. Hope everything is alright,” Mel said hugging him

“Sorry I can't be there but this is urgent.”

A chariot was waiting to take him to the castle. Once there he was joined by Quake and Thorn and were directed to a room far away from the others in the castle. It was a huge library, complete with fireplace. Waiting for them were Luna, Celestia and surprisingly; Dusk.

“Thank you for coming. It's been a while since we've been together,” Dusk said

“If you don't mind, how's about we get a picture to commemorate this moment.”

“Of course,” Dusk said

Brian withdrew the phone from the pouch as he levitated up so all six would be in the picture. After that, he took a second without the princesses before storing his phone away.

“What brings us together like this,” Thorn asked

“I wanted to celebrate my final birthday with my friends,” Dusk said

“What do you mean by that,” Quake asked
“As you know, I was one of Luna’s elite Midnight guard. I've been around nearly 2,500 years and am the last vampire,” Dusk started

“I am, or rather was, a vampire. I turned the dozen guards into vampires for my elite guard with Dusk being the first. During my 1,000 year exile I was able to purge my vampiric nature using dark magic rituals. After I came back, many of the guards either killed themselves or put themselves into a death like state, whereby Dusk was tasked with their elimination as they asked. Dusk asked for this meeting, I didn't force her to do this,” Luna explained

“Do you remember how the four of us met by any chance,” Dusk asked

“I was training on the obstacle course constantly to better myself; while the two of you were veteran members of the Solar Guard and taught me to take things easy and not rush. ‘Tranquilo’; you could say. We ran the course together with me having to actually force myself to slow down while you two ran for fun. Dusk, you were spying on us and decided to play with us at night,” Brian said

“I wanted you here as I have always considered the three of you family and must ask a favor of you. As I said, I've been alive for nearly 2,500 years and it's time I passed on. Brian, I want you to do the honors,” Dusk said

“Dusk, you can't be serious. B, you can't do this. You went though Tartarus after killing a murderer last month, you'll drive yourself crazy this time,” Thorn said pleading

“Luna helped removing that memory. I showed my family the truth about my parent's death so I can do this. If not, you know exactly where to find me.”

“If you think it is best, I will not argue. Thank you, Dusk for all the memories,” Quake said hugging her

“I accept the duty. Even if I drive myself to temporary insanity, so be it.”

“Very well. This is the blade for the ritual. It was forged in the depths of Tartarus by Lucifer, himself,” Luna said opening up a case and handing the blade to Brian

The blade itself was pointed at the tip and featured three curved bends in the blade. Brian flipped it over his hoof as Dusk went to Quake and Thorn and hugged them before giving them a kiss on the cheek. She repeated this with Brian giving him a kiss on the lips before he plunged the blade into her chest and through her heart.

“Thank you,” Dusk said before dying

“Resquiate in Pace,” Brian said making a cross

“What does that mean,” Celestia asked

“At home it was a Latin phrase that translates to ‘Rest in Peace’.”

“We will have a private burial in the cemetery as she was a member of my guard. The tombstone will only have her name and mention she was a member of the Lunar Guard,” Luna said

Each of them bowed their heads in respect before Brian had written a letter to his wife. He wouldn't get into the details but told her that he would be staying at the castle for a week.

“You know where to find me. Let me know in the morning for breakfast please,” Brian said

“That's interesting. There wasn't any rain planned,” Thorn said hearing rain pouring

“The sky is raining due to Dusk’s death. It seems that her friends may be mourning her passing.”

“That would be impossible. Pegasi control the weather,” Celestia said

“It was something my mom would say. If it rained during a funeral it was the angels crying over the loss.”

“Never heard of that,” Luna said

“It's coincidental, but it does make some people feel better. I was never religious to completely believe it. If you'll excuse me, I'll take my leave,” Brian said leaving

He headed into the depths of the castle where the Research and Development was located to use the training room.

“Brian, what brings you down here,” Knight Shield asked

“Sorry, Del but I'd rather not talk about it. Let me in to the danger room.”

“Go ahead,” Deltorix said opening the door

Once inside the room, Brian shifted back to his human form and summoned a pair of .45 caliber pistols and started to fire. For once accuracy didn’t matter as all he wanted to do was drown out his pain.

It was one thing to kill a criminal, or an enemy during war, but harder to kill a friend. While he thought it wouldn't be a problem, just the fact that it happened was hard enough and knew that Quake and Thorn would have their own of coping over the death of Dusk.

After firing a few hundred rounds between both pistols, Brian dropped one pistol and held the other to his left temple and fired. Although he knew pain could be felt, ‘suicide’ felt like the right thing to do. He actually shot himself three more times in the mouth, jaw and chest before switching weapons to throwing knives to hit the targets. Try as he might, he couldn't stop the tears from falling as he thought about his friend. Holding the blade, he ‘died’ twice by slitting his wrists and throat.

Some time later, Del pounded on the door letting Brian know it was time for breakfast. Brian was reluctant but dragged himself out of the room in order to put food in his stomach.

“Not sleeping Brian? Pardon the language but you look like,” Luna started

“Shit. How's Quake and Thorn doing?”

“Quake left early this morning. He didn't say where but it could be to train. Any damage he causes would be minimal if he heads to the desert,” Thorn said entering the room

“How are you doing?”

“Well, I would have gone to a bar but my daughter Rose didn't want me there,” Thorn replied

“Rose; as in Rose Petal?”

“That would be her. Your friend Knight Shield has been trying to court her. How he became an alicorn is unknown. I honestly don’t mind the two of them being together as they make a fine couple,” Thorn answered “B, you look like you've been through Tartarus.”

“Well, I didn't sleep at all. The hell with having a nightmare during sleep. I have a waking nightmare that's worse.”

“I could see why. You did take the hardest task. Neither Quake or I could do it,” Thorn said

“I visited both Quake and Thorn’s dreams after what happened. While they were having a nightmare over Dusk’s death, neither of them wanted to get rid of it,” Luna said

“I can't speak for Quake, but the nightmare reminds me to be strong. She's gone, but as long as we don't forget Dusk, she never truly died,” Thorn said

“Glad you learned that from me. But it's harder for me to get over it. You witnessed it, but I actually took the hardest role. After I finish, I'm heading right back to train.”

“I just wish my wife were here to help me,” Thorn said

“What happened to her, if you don't mind me asking?”

“She's dead. And I have you to thank for some of it,” he said

“Thanking me for what?”

“You killed the bastard who murdered her. Raindrop Lilly was my wife. She went out one night with Snow Shower. And we know what happened next. On behalf of my daughter and I, thank you for putting them at peace,” he explained

“You're welcome. I'm sorry she died in that way, but I'm glad I was able to help.”

Once he finished, Brian back downstairs and trained as long as possible before eating. Throughout the week, Brian forced himself to stay awake for a total of 168 hours straight. His accuracy actually suffered due to it although the thought of his fallen friend remained.

“Brian, I'm coming in,” a voice called

As the door opened, Brian was surprised to see his wife leading a group that consisted of his daughters, the princesses and the mane-six trailed by Knight Shield who closed the door behind him.

“Luna told us what happened. You haven't slept all week. You can't torture yourself over what happened,” Octavia said

“Dusk was your friend. She asked you because she thought you could handle it. Quake’s in the desert training. He's buried himself in the ground a few times for whatever reason,” Luna said

“I should be stronger, but I'm not. I used to think of myself as Superman but now I realized it was bullshit. Dusk wasn’t the first person I buried. Del, you remember that time,” Brian said through tears

“How could I forget. The three of us were inseparable,” Deltorix replied

“Would you two stop being so cryptic and spit it out,” Twilight demanded

“The person we're talking was Michael Blaise. I had just left his house as a car sped around the corner and a single shot rang out. I dove behind a dumpster, but Mike wasn't so lucky. He took the bullet in the heart and died in my arms. I had to be the one to tell his parents what happened to their son,” Brian started

“I remember that clearly as not only were the two of us pallbearers, we filled in the grave afterwards,” Knight Shield finished

“Brian, stand up for a moment,” Discord said popping into the room

Once Brian stood up, Discord immediately punched him in the face, to everyone's shock.

“You need to stop bitching and grow up. You're human and don’t need a damn façade to hide behind. Look at this and tell me what you see,” Discord demanded handing him a picture

“The human and alicorn versions of me standing in the middle with my family and friends from both side of the portal,” Brian replied

“You said it; friends and family. The same group standing here now. Each of them would gladly walk though the bowels of Hell to get you back. You needed a second chance and were granted it. Don't hide that fact,” Discord said “By the way, that picture is yours to keep.”

“Thank you for that reality check. Killing an enemy in war isn't that hard as it really is kill or be killed but killing a friend that you've known is harder. I'm glad about this room as I actually did something I should regret.

“What did you do,” Octavia asked

Brian grabbed a pistol and shot himself in the temple as everyone was surprised.

“Suicide. It's not something to joke with,” Celestia said

“I know. It was due to the pain I felt that I did it. This isn't something I want to try to repeat. I also hope none of you ever have to feel the pain of killing a friend.”

“See that you don’t. Otherwise, I would resurrect your body just so I could beat some sense into you,” Octavia said

“Of course. I promise not to do anything stupid like this again.”

“Brian, after the time you spent awake, I'm going to make sure you sleep. You will be sent down to the hospital where you will be staying for a week with an IV in your arm to make sure you receive nutrients. Now sleep,” Luna said holding a hoof over his face

As he slept, Brian entered the dreamscape to be joined by Luna and Ignis.

“Feeling better,” Luna asked

“I honestly don’t know how I even managed to force myself to stay up for a week straight. I'm glad Discord punched me as it really helped.”

“Well, he was right. You don’t need to hide behind a façade. Yeah, you've killed three people, but you can't let it rule your life. The Midnight guard will probably be on a mission where you will have to kill the enemy. You need to fight through it,” Ignis said

“I'm trying. It's easier said then done.”

“By the way, your week is up. Once you wake up there are a few people who want to see you,” Luna said

As he woke up, Quake and Thorn were standing by the bed having not seen their friend in weeks.

“He's alive,” Thorn said

“You look better. I heard you were up for a week straight,” Quake said

“And I heard you buried yourself in the desert,” Brian retorted

“It was a mixture of training and suicide. I honestly didn't want to die, though,” Quake replied

“We wanted to wait until you were released to go out,” Thorn said

Later that night the three of them headed to the castle’s cemetery and headed to the back. Each of them carried a single rose and placed it in front of the grave they wanted.

“Dusk, it's us. Each of us has been dealing with this in different ways,” Brian started

“My daughter watched as I ran the obstacle course every day to wear myself out so I didn’t head to the bar and drink,” Thorn said

“I trained in the sand by burying myself, but in honestly it was a glorified suicide attempt that I couldn't do,” Quake said hanging his head

“And I know you thought I could handle it, but it was worse for me having to do it. I actually drove myself to temporary insanity and killed myself multiple times in the training room. Sorry for everything.”

“Thank you for the visit. I was allowed to visit one final time to see my brothers,” Dusk said taking a ghostly form “Yes, I consider the three of you brothers.”

“Remember the happy moments we've shared together and I'll never truly die. Brian, don't punish yourself over this. I wanted you to do it because you were the bravest. While you won't die, enjoy every moment you can as some time soon, the Man in Black will arrive. I love you all,” she said before fading away

The three departed from the cemetery and headed to the nearest bar to have a single glass of apple cider to celebrate.

“To Dusk,” Brian said raising his glass

“Dusk,” Quake and Thorn said simultaneously as the three clinked glasses